#and I'll write it again
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It bothers me so much that people latch onto this quote from Darcy but ignore the context around it:
“Shall we ask your cousin the reason of this?” said Elizabeth, still addressing Colonel Fitzwilliam. “Shall we ask him why a man of sense and education, and who has lived in the world, is ill-qualified to recommend himself to strangers?”
“I can answer your question,” said Fitzwilliam, “without applying to him. It is because he will not give himself the trouble.”
“I certainly have not the talent which some people possess,” said Darcy, “of conversing easily with those I have never seen before. I cannot catch their tone of conversation, or appear interested in their concerns, as I often see done.”
This is the big proof that Darcy is shy/socially awkward/whatever. But there are two answers right there! Colonel Fitzwilliam has an explanation that makes Darcy look far worse: he is rude because he doesn't care to be polite.
Darcy likes Elizabeth, and while I'm sure he didn't outright lie because he's a radical truther, he definitely did not tell the whole truth! Because the girl he likes just called his behaviour "very dreadful" and he needs to make himself look better. And then we know what he says later when he feels actual remorse for his prior behaviour (which he does not feel at Rosings):
I was... allowed, encouraged, almost taught me to be selfish and overbearing, to care for none beyond my own family circle, to think meanly of all the rest of the world, to wish at least to think meanly of their sense and worth compared with my own.
Where is his problem with conversing now? It's nowhere, because that was never the real problem. I am sure that Darcy does not converse easily with others, because I don't think he lied, but that is not why he was an unsociable asshole at the Meryton Assembly. It's because he did not think the unwashed masses of Hertfordshire were worth him putting in the effort.
#jane austen#anti-darcy Shyboi campaign#I've probably written this before#and I'll write it again#It's an excuse!#And he doesn't use it later for a reason#because it was never the whole truth#He sucked and then he changed#but he didn't suck as much as Elizabeth thought#which is her change#fitzwilliam darcy#mr. darcy#pride and prejudice#rant
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[OC] i miss drawing my eldritch monster oc soooo bad 🐙
#my ocs#my art#monster oc#sketch#chat i'm gonna be honest with you i haven't drawn her in ages because i designed her for a story i was writing with my ex girlfriend#so when we broke up i couldn't bring myself to draw her for like a year#but my eldritch baby deserves better so i'm gonna start drawing her again and i'll design a new gothic witch gf 🫡
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if i had a nickel for every au spawned from twitter that i SWORE i was going to be normal about
#i'd have like. five. which isn't a lot but IT KEEPS HAPPENING#stranger things#platonic stobin#steddie#steve harrington#robin buckley#eddie munson#here we go again boys#i've had this floating in my head for a Minute and i was like#nah i'm not gonna do it#maybe i'll anonymously write a fic#but no we're mombin posting on main#i think on twt we agreed it's a 'what's the worst that could happen' situation#platonic co parents can be so so so personal#also i have One more stobin wip and then bg3 again i swear#when i have a baby i Will be putting my giant black wings on beforehand#they have to know what kind of family they're coming into#cw pregnancy
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nuclear family as described by Iskall
#iskall85#ethoslab#stressmonster101#mumbo jumbo#grian#docm77#vintagebeef#hermitcraft 10#just drew this but now i need to draw his zombie AU too#Iskall writes too much fanfic#but thankfully now that i've passed my exam (WOOO) i'll have more time to draw again#edit: if you saw the typo no you didn't#i'm tired ok xD
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Happy 1 year anniversary to Mr Sherlock Holmes! Here's a litttleee celebratory comic from me
#sherlock & co#sherlock and co#writing these tags on the 29th of september#which is when john and sherlock ACTUALLY met <3#so there you go#uh once again shout out to candy for letting me talk through some of my processes#it helps immensely and i really wanted to be sure i was getting across what i wanted to with this one#speaking of which - usually i yap a lot in the tags of these bcus i love talking about art#for this one...im not sure i want to comment too much#because i'll be here forever and i think most things can speak for themself#but let me say this one thing#for the first five pages i was drawing john on paper and sherlock on the computer exclusively#and then bringing them together..#uh it really made me think of paul and harry. recording on opposite sides of the world. brought together by the power of editing#its not a particularly emotional scene but i hope ive infused it with. something.#anyway thats it from me#if u want to ask about any particular aspect i would love to yap about the process but i'll just leave it here for now or i'll never shut u#happy 1 year podpals#patsart#oh yeah i will say i did have to take quite a bit of liberty with the audio in order to do what i wanted. forgive me#or dont idc
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i'm still trying to piece together the truth of it. when you left, you said: feel free to spin this narrative however you want. i have no idea if you were being cruel or if you just genuinely don't remember what you've done to me.
it's hard because i'd done so much of the work for you. i had seen the parts that flaked off, the rust underneath. i started separating you into two people - the one i loved, and the one who hurt me. i had this fantasy version of you - my partner - and then i had this stranger, a third person who would show up randomly to shatter me. i am deliriously glad i'm no longer with "the stranger". i miss the gentle (unreal?) "other" you terribly.
at first, i was so strict about my boundaries. i remember telling you to get the fuck out of my house if you were going to talk to me like that. by the end: i would justify your behavior for you, accepting even your mistreatment as "my fault" in the grand scheme. i look back on the person i was before you - smart, independent, confident - and i feel a strange sense of detachment. i don't even recognize me.
even in one of our last conversations, you said: if you want a partner that always talks warmly to you, find someone else. there was a time that a comment like that would have made me leave. and instead, somehow, i just placidly accepted that kind of thing. you were literally telling me that i wasn't allowed to have a reaction to your cruelty - and i just took it, because you'd so fully turned things around on me.
when people are faced with irrationality, a rational brain tries to make sense of it. this is the trap. they're lovely in the morning, gentle and blue-eyed and sweet. like nothing even happened, they breeze around the house and kiss you on the mouth. but at night; who is that? they snap almost randomly; flying into an impotent rage about just-about-anything. it just doesn't make sense. so the problem must be me, and my brain, and how i think.
the traumatized brain just wants peace. so maybe i'm misremembering. maybe you were just having a bad day. maybe it's actually me.
you eventually would fully turn on me and start implying that i am the bad actor in our relationship. that's what happens, right? that's literally in the playbook. you went to therapy for all of a month, told her a half-truth, co-opted therapyspeak. you figured out how to reframe your actions as "seeking peace." any time i stood my ground, i was "gaslighting." when i asked you to be more gentle, you said i was "tone policing." you said, randomly, i had emotionally manipulated you - i still have no idea what that's even specifically referring to. maybe my consistent requests for calmness and empathy?
and while i literally know better, and i'm sitting here, trained by you, thinking: wait, fuck. was i actually the person you made me out to be?
and the thing that scares me is that i literally do not know if you ever actually saw what you were doing to me. when you'd tell me how you remember arguments, you'd always summarize them in a way where you come off as gentle and easy: "i was trying to set an important boundary." what had actually happened was 15 minutes of you shouting at me i know you did something shady, just admit it already. eventually you'd say my reaction to your shouting (when i finally reacted, which usually happened around hour three) was inevitably "disappointing" and "another way i'm silencing your feelings."
how many times did i ask you - beg you - to just take accountability? looking back, i don't think i ever heard you say: you're right. the way i talked to you was wrong of me.
i am trying to tie together the two people into a full version of you in my head. yes, you made my coffee and made me laugh and spent hours on the phone with me. and yes - you would scream at me until i had to run away and hide behind something.
i wish i did have a narrative i could pull out and shape to my whim. i wish i did have some semblance of reality. instead i just stand here, strange and vibrating, wondering: what the fuck just happened?
#spilled ink#warm up#tbh more of a diary than a poem#i need to write this stuff down bc my ptsd likes to forget trauma pretty much WHILE it's happening#and any time i find myself making it ''my fault'' again i have to walk myself through the grounding steps#it's so hard to describe emotional abuse. bc it's so fucking easy to get sucked into#like. you're an empathetic person. so when ur partner comes to you after a nasty fight and is like#“i really was trying to get my feelings heard and you didn't hear me last night” you're like - okay you know what#i'll do the right thing. this is my fault. let me take accountability and try to empathize and talk things out.#with the assumption that later - it'll be ''your turn'' right. you'll be able to bring up the screaming and talk about how#you BOTH need to make a safe space for each other. that you can't listen if your partner is literally shouting at you.#since YOU reflect and grow and try to be a better partner. you assume SHE will be doing the same thing.#but it is never your turn. she will never bring up the screaming. you cannot tell if she LEGIT just doesn't feel culpable.#and when u bring it up. she says ''so i deserved you talking to me badly? <- this doesn't go well.#she says you're blaming her. she doesn't understand that arguments are ''two sides and the truth''. it's that 1 person is right and 1 isn't#so u try to talk it out. get both perspectives heard. but over time it just becomes easier to let her get her rant out and shut up about u#until one day you wake up and despite months of treating you terribly - and admitting it 3 weeks ago!!! - she's now saying...#you were always terrible . you were always the issue. she never got her feelings heard.#meanwhile you remember literally MONTHS of supporting her and listening to her and silencing yourself.#and bc she TRAINED you to accept fault ... you just say sorry. you feel insane. you feel incredibly unhinged.#meanwhile. i fully am the kind of person that will reflect. come back after a fight. apologize before you ask. say things like#“i see your side now and i was wrong about this/that/the other thing.” ...... this is EMOTIONAL MATURITY.#she literally started calling it ''mindgames'' and ''flip flopping." ........#AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#<- girl who def was emotionally abused but also doesn't really understand that yet#anyway love u get OUT OF THERE IF YOU RELATE BYE!!!!
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✨️ BROTHERS! ✨️
(shouto will live out his idle childhood daydreams, even if he has to reverse their roles himself haha)
#soba brothers#todoroki touya#lov dabi#dabi#bnha dabi#toya todoroki#shoto todoroki#todoroki shouto#bnha#bnha fanart#mha#mha fanart#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#if there's one thing i knew we'd never get but that i really wanted it was the reappearance of touya's bottom lashes ��#if there's one thing i thought we'd get that we never did it was these two getting soba together#why did u do us like this hori. why. (crying in the corner)#starting to reach baseline again! just have a few writing stuff and then i'll be more or less caught back up woooooo!!! 🎉🎉🎉#omg just realized i didnt even tag dabi
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David Foster Wallace.
#This is part of an unpublished interview given by David Foster Wallace to the German television channel ZDF in 2003#david foster wallace#literature#postmodernism#american literature#authors#writers#infinite jest#literary quotes#author quotes#writing#contemporary literature#book culture#fiction and nonfiction#There's a lot of narcissism in self-hatred#books#literary voice#interviews#Brief Interviews with Hideous Men#A Supposedly Fun Thing I'll Never Do Again#The Pale King#Girl with Curious Hair#Consider the Lobster#This Is Water#dfw#cult author#american writers#experimental fiction#essayist#2000s literature
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nagumo had one hand on the wheel, fingers tapping lazily against it, while the other, warm and ever-present, rested on your thigh. casual, like it belonged there. like it always did. just the weight of his hand, warm and unmoving, like it had landed there absentmindedly. you had glanced at him at first, expecting him to move it, but nagumo had simply grinned, eyes still on the road, and left it right where it was.
minutes passed.
his fingers, previously still, began to shift ever so slightly. a slow, lazy drag of his thumb along the fabric covering your skin. nothing overt. nothing that could be called out without sounding ridiculous.
“nagumo.”
“mm?” his tone was light, almost distracted, but that damn grin was still there.
". . . both hands on the wheel.”
“i told you, i don’t need both hands,” the guy mused, tapping the steering wheel with two fingers. “i’m a professional.”
“professional menace, maybe.”
nagumo chuckled, and that was when his fingers dipped lower between your thighs.
he chuckled, tilting his head in that lazy, almost careless way. “i'm driving and keeping you in check. you get fidgety, you know?”
“maybe because your hand is in places it shouldn’t be,” you shot back.
“mm. . disagree.” his thumb absentmindedly traced a small circle against your leg. “i think it’s exactly where it should be.”
you rolled your eyes, but you didn’t move his hand. not that you ever did. not that he’d let you.
#just me claiming my nagume throne back (after a year of dipping.. uhh.. hey..)#anw i'll be open for reqs soon ^^#i wanna write him again UEUEUEU i miss him. i do not. i hate this rascal.#.writing#nagumo fluff#nagumo x reader#sakamoto days nagumo#nagumo sakamoto days#nagumo smut#nagumo yoichi#sakamoto days#sakamoto days x reader#sakadays x reader#sakamoto days smut#yoichi nagumo x reader#yoichi nagumo#nagumo x y/n#nagumo x you#nagumo yoichi x reader#nagumo yoichi x you#sakadays
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Gen obsessed with how.. *dead* your Jason's color pallete is. Like, that's corpse pale right there. Not a spec of blood left flowing in there (also father Todd's skin being full of color in comparison is a nice touch)

THANK YOU I love making him look a bit ghoulish. Guy who's not supposed to be alive but yes he is. no he isn't <3
#DC#DC Comics#Jason Todd#Red Hood#Jaybin#Robin ii#Art by me#Asks#I know vitamin D doesn't affect your skin colour BUT the easiest way to get it is sunlight which does ik nobody is bothered by this but me#But I have OCD. so you're getting clarification anyways 👍#Jason's way of saying if you spend too much time underground it's going to start wanting to keep you there 😁#I do think he bleeds normally and has a heartbeat and all that because he's not Dead. Alive? Well no also. He's likeboth at once and neithe#I think his physical state should be full of inconsistencies. you can't see his breath in cold weather but you can if he smokes etc.#There's also appeal to him coming back looking completely normal I do love mundane horror but#His death was important both in and out of universe and it altered things irreversibly so I think he can be a little Off as a treat#Also it adds to the misery that he's the same person like he died and came back the same person internally he's himself but#to others he looks and acts and is offputting he's Jason but Wrongg. Except not really#Because yeah he changed but that's just getting older and being affected by your experiences like everyone else ever#unfortunately for him he popped back to life Like That so everyone is just going eughh what thebfcuk#But that's a little off topic ANYWAYS one thing I really liked about Countdown was Jason being described as a siren in the dark#Like yea he's unsettling even if there's no clear reason as to why yet. He wasn't even doing anything his vibes are just rancid#My ideal Jason is one who looks like he wouldn't be out of place eating someone. He wouldn't. but you know. looming threat#I think he'd have fun indulging in the undead aspect in his more dramatic moments#Also the environment matters like during the day at the store he just seems a bit strange but at night in an alleyway it's uncanny valley#I have more to say on this topic but I'm writing a novel in the tags so I'll wrap it up#To summarize it's basically YOU CAN'T GO BACK YOU CAN NEVER GO BACK TO THE WAY THINGS WERE AND EVERYONE WHO LOOKS AT YOU CAN SEE IT#Thank you again for this ask I love when people bring up details they like to me because I like putting them in and talking about them#And just talking in general clearly lmao post-crisis really had so much going for it. lots of interesting characters
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happy 4th anniversary heart and soul!
#meta knight#galacta knight#kirby right back at ya#post's art gallery#it's that time again#my beloved rivals to idiots. juggling them like bowling pins#bit of a writing update for those listening in! as it stands the last few chapters are still outlined but not finished#but they're not forgotten#I go in and check on them from time to time#I'll be coming back around to IYD eventually. just gotta run off with other passions to keep the mind fresh#better to let it cool off as long as it needs in the interim!#huge big thank you to everyone who's loved and supported this series over the years! It continues to hold a special place in my heart#which is why I'm giving it the supreme vacation treatment#when will the orbs return? who knows. but they'll be ballin when they do#thanks for tuning in folks!#eat a strawberry today. for galacta. delcious
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Thinking more about historical arranged marriage and how it's portrayed in media and I think I've come to a final conclusion. The problem is that the woman's emotions are often not explained. It's a default assumption from the writer that every woman thinks "arranged marriage = bad" no matter their circumstances, era, culture, or personality. It's bad writing and bad characterization of women (shocking! that never happens)
I was just watching a show where the daughter is abused by her stepmother. She has a marriage arranged and the guy seems sweet. The girl attempts to run away. At no point are we told her thinking as to why she doesn't want this. But like, why? Her family is awful to her. If she is a runner, why has she not escaped from her abusive family? It would have taken 20 seconds of air time for her to say to someone, "I got a bad vibe from that guy/I don't trust this because Stepmom seems happy/devil I know/whatever." But they didn't do it, because of course arranged marriage is always automatically bad, right?
Another show I watched did such an excellent job explaining why a woman was unhappy with her arranged marriage. She had been spoiled and indulged by her entire family for her childhood. She knew she'd be marrying within class (high nobility/royalty), but she thought her family would allow her to pick from the very limited options (literally 4 men are eligible). Then she learns, and scolds herself for not realizing it sooner, that (almost) everyone in her family actually intended her to marry the crown prince for political reasons. Her emotions made so much sense! She was a teenager; she understood the world imperfectly and was disappointed. Her unhappiness felt like something a person in her era and social position would think, not a transplant from the 21st century. She made sense as a human and a character.
In conclusion: write women as people
#historical fiction#writing#arranged marriage#I'll shut up about this until I watch something else#again this is about historical arranged marriage#Not modern countries that still have arranged marriage#because it's different
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no more romance. romance is canceled. tell me about your warden/hawke/inquisitor's best friend and any info you want to add about their dynamic 🖐
#and by “romance is canceled” i mean that i have been writing so much angsty romance lately that i need something to balance it out#dragon age#dragon age origins#dragon age: origins#dao#dragon age 2#da2#dragon age inquisiton#dai#dragon age: inquisition#hero of ferelden#champion of kirkwall#the inquisitor#inquisitor#i have way too many ocs to do this with so i'll go with kinera#he was close with his entire companion group (minus wynne and oghren) during the fifth blight#but he was especially close with sten and morrigan. sten kind of accidentally cracked kinera's egg and#kinera was fascinated by morrigan because shes a mage outside of the circle#and in dai kinera was initally close with solas– until it really kicked in how much solas disliked the dalish and how much#he viewed kinera as being an “exception” when kinera already felt like an outcast due to mostly growing up outside of a clan bc he was take#to a circle.#healing sessions for the anchor got Really tense after that. and then morrigan showed up and kinera was#just yippie yippie!! because very briefly he had alistair leliana and morrigan all back together again
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headcanon
So you know how it's canon that Will listens to true crime podcasts?
What if that's how he finds out that Nico is from the 1940s?!
Like he's listening to the latest episode about 'the death of Maria di Angelo and the disappearance and supposed kidnapping of her missing children, Niccolò and Bianca di Angelo'.
And it's not all that strange for demigods to pop up in conspiracy blogs or podcasts - Percy had a four part series about him, and Will listened to the whole thing during a nightshift at the infirmary.
So yeah, Will starts listening to the di Angelo episode thinking nothing of it, maybe he's just hoping to have a laugh about what the mortals thought happened to Nico or maybe he's more than a little curious about Nico's mysterious past.
And the hosts, in crackling stereo voices because they desperately need a better mic, are talking about lightning striking the hotel, how "the storm popped up out of nowhere" and the "strange seismic activity reported in the area at the time"...and then the date drops...
The hosts say something along the lines of, "The di Angelo siblings were reported missing by their family back in Italy after no word had been received of their safe passage to America. The police report states they were last seen by an anonymous witness entering the Lotus Hotel & Casino with an unknown third party in December of 1942."
And Will's just sat there, gaping at the infirmary bed he'd been stripping of its sheets. Because everything is adding up now, and Will's not quite sure how he missed it...
#cue Will freaking out about Nico’s vaccination status#the next episode is totally 'The Lives and Deaths of Marie and Hazel Levesque'#and Will's brain just breaks again#will solace#nico di angelo#pjo headcanon#solangelo#pjo#maybe one day I'll write this fic#in the very distant future bc I have so many others in the works#timeline wise i'd imagine this is set during or soon after Nico's three days
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I don't even know how to word this in a way that makes sense and I think in an overall world building sense this is a major case of "Man I think it depends" but I actually don't think Spite is a "demon".
Spirits and Demons are essentially the same, yes, and I think there's much to be said about this in in parallel to a healthy person vs a deeply traumatized person, but to quote Neve, "one is more likely to manipulate you, or kill you," etc etc.
A demon is a spirit whose purpose has been twisted. And I don't think Spite's purpose has been twisted much at all.
Determination's purpose is "accomplish my goal (whatever that may be)". Spite (the emotion)'s purpose is exactly the same, with the added benefit of "especially against the wishes of others".
I think the demonic version of Determination would be "Ruthlessness", not Spite.
Spite (the guy) is not wholly consumed by his purpose like other "demons" are. He doesn't pursue his goals at the expense of his companions. He has several other interests even if they seem a little silly (learning what tastes good, or even new forms of combat like fire). And he tells us his purpose several times...it's his promise with Lucanis! Escape, kill, and live! This goal is one of determination and it has not changed by his becoming Spite. The goal is not warped in any way even with his joining to Lucanis.
Bellara speculates as to why Spite doesn't just take Lucanis over or turn him into a nasty mound of flesh. I want to argue that this is because Spite is a named spirit, not a demon.
What's more spiteful than not allowing your captors to change you? What says fuck you to people who would use you as a tool than self-determination? What's more spiteful than being determined to be free, to fight who would enslave you, to live?
My working theory is that Spite is not a demon in the same sense as, say, Wisdom being corrupted into Pride, which twists a desire to guide, teach, or navigate situations with care into a desire to be right and unchallenged.
I think Spite is to Determination as Eulogy is to Compassion.
#spite dragon age#dragon age veilguard#da veilguard#lucanis dellamorte#lucanis#spite dellamorte#i got a really old but powerful academic urge to write a ten page paper with cited sources on this today#arent they just so perfect together#a shade and a wounded spirit etc etc#they work because they are the same! they want to live and be free! and fuck everybody else!#datv#veilguard#dragon age#cathedralposting#i need to put spite in a little petri dish and study him#this has been said before but I'll say it again
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Behold, my sappiest (and longest) Lari comic yet, I hope ya'll enjoy some tooth-rottingly sweet fluff UvU
More of me rambling under the cut:
Honestly I was so worried about posting this one, I wrote it when I was really needing some comfort so it turned out very sweet, less humorous than my other shitten stuff, but hey if you've watched and liked my animatic that's what you're here for anyways >:)
As much as I love feral Nari I just love writing him being all soft and chilled out tbh, this cat has been fully domesticated over years of TLC (Tender Lamb Care), I just hope others like it as much as I do too :p
#cult of the lamb#cotl narinder#cotl lamb#cotl oc#cotl shitten#narilamb#true devotion#Collie's Art#Lari#Yes this Nari wasn't an amazing dad but he fixed his relationship with the twins#I have a whole fanfic idea about that ordeal but I have no idea how to write it#lemme just actually get back to writing sfw fics again and maybe i'll get back to that idea#Cotl Marshmallows#Marshmallow Cheeps
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