#and I’m scheduled to cover five of those ten shifts even though I had already covered her shifts the last time she went on vacation

[pinkandrainyclouds]

Quick question, is it normal to feel this much rage towards one’s boss or should I seek help?

[solalunar-eclipse]

A Gift To Remember

Summary: Shadow receives a gift for his birthday that causes a series of very interesting (and often cute) events.

Word count: about 7500 words

Author’s Note: I didn’t realize today was Shadow’s birthday! At the moment I’m more than a little confused because the release dates for SA2 say everything from the 18th to the 23rd, but this seems to be the one, so here this is!

Also, to that one anon whose question about this fic I never quite managed to answer- sorry about that and I do hope you’re still here to read this!

...

The main room of Team Dark’s home was, on a normal day, at least somewhat clean- which was in and of itself surprising, considering the fact that three teenagers lived there. (It was, of course, slightly less surprising when it was noted that one of these teenagers was a giant robot, one was already a businesswoman, and one had grown up in an incredibly clean environment.)

At the moment, however, said room was currently rather less clean, instead covered in various colorful signs, streamers, balloons, and other such decorations. After all, today was a very special day.

When Shadow and Rouge had discovered they shared a birthday (or creation day for Shadow, technically), they both became infinitely more determined to celebrate it for the other’s sake. This had actually, interestingly enough, also ended up making them enjoy their own festivities more than they had in quite some time.

Omega, meanwhile, had officially decided that this was his favorite day of the year.

Over the past few days, Rouge had already received a few presents from various people she knew in the line of clothes, makeup, or jewelry- but as much as she loved gems, her favorites so far were definitely the ones Omega and Shadow had gotten for her: a laser cutter that could slice through anything and a pair of (stylish) infrared goggles, respectively.

Shadow had just opened his present from Omega, which happened to be a sword that looked very cool...but was also longer than his actual body. This wasn’t actually as big of a problem for him as might be expected, as he’d gotten used to handling weapons several times his size during the alien invasion a little while back. 

He had, however, been told rather quickly by Rouge to put it away ‘before you slice the wall in half, this place does cost money, you know!’.

Next, Rouge placed her present in his hands, but at first all Shadow could do was just stare at it. This was likely because the gift wasn’t actually wrapped, but instead consisted of a box made of wood slats and filled, oddly enough, with paper shavings. There were quite a few ribbons on it, though, in an attempt to make up for the lack of other decorations.

“I couldn’t wrap it, or else the present wouldn’t have worked.” she explained, sitting back down to watch him open it.

After prying off the top and shifting aside some of the paper pieces, the hedgehog froze.

Inside, there sat a single white chao egg.

Carefully lifting the egg out of the box, Shadow held it gingerly, as though he were afraid it might try to bite him if he wasn’t gentle enough.

“Rouge…” he began nervously. “Don’t get me wrong, I really appreciate this, but...are you sure I’m the best person to be taking care of a chao?”

“Of course, hon!” she said. “You’ve taken care of them before, haven’t you?”

“Yes, but…” Shadow protested, “...are you sure I’ll be able to do as well at home? The garden is their natural habitat…”

Omega folded his arms. “YOU ARE THE ULTIMATE LIFEFORM. OF COURSE YOU CAN RAISE A CHAO.”

“That’s right!” Rouge added. “The chao are always happy when you take care of them- this time isn’t going to be any different.”

“…I suppose so.” Shadow conceded, taking a deep breath. He began to rock the egg slowly from side to side. “Here we go-”

A crack appeared across the pristine white surface. The split spread rapidly while Shadow sat and watched, making sure not to move the egg about much. Chao had to hatch their eggs on their own- it was the way they first began to strengthen themselves. 

Rouge laughed. “See? You know exactly what you’re doing!”

Shadow studiously ignored her and continued to focus on the egg. Then, suddenly, a chirp came from inside and the whole top half came flying off.

The hybrid looked at his newborn chao...and his heart (though he’d never admit it) immediately melted. Soft, big eyes gazed up at him, an overjoyed smile on the creature’s face. It cooed happily upon seeing him give a small smile back, and he reached out and began to gently pat its head.

The chao broke into an even wider smile as its eyes closed blissfully, the little sphere above its head popping into a heart. Shadow continued to pet it, offering gentle words of praise, and might have continued like that for the next ten minutes had a camera noise from Omega not made him look up in alarm.

“ADDING IMAGE TO FILE: SHADOW BEING SOFT.” he declared, while Rouge looked on with a giant grin.

“You will do nothing of the sort-” Shadow growled, jumping to his feet, before a soft whimper from his chao stopped him. Its eyes were watery, wide and distressed, and the hybrid immediately scooped it up in his arms, holding it close. It relaxed quickly, snuggling into his chest fluff, and he shot Omega one last semi-serious glower before turning his attention back to the newborn.

Omega promptly took another picture.

…

Later that day, at the party that all of their friends had thrown for them, the chao and Shadow were nearly inseparable. It tended to rest in his lap when he was sitting or rode in between his ears whenever he stood up to get something. Eventually, though, the excitement of a new environment overwhelmed its initial nervousness, which unfortunately led to Shadow returning from the dining room with his hands full of plates of food to discover his chao crawling along the precarious edge of a bookshelf.

Suddenly, the chao’s footing slipped, and Shadow froze, unable to move or do anything- but then Sonic of all people noticed and was already there, leaping up and catching the chao before resting it snugly in his arms. “Looks like someone’s already progressed to the giving-their-owner-a-heart-attack stage, hm?” he asked, smirking at the little creature.

“Thank you.” Shadow said as his chao was returned to him, trying very hard to ignore the way his hands and Sonic’s brushed in the process.

(He’d been nursing a bit of a crush on the hero for a while now, but had decided to ignore it until it wore off. Sonic had admirers from all across the globe vying for his attention- it was absurd to think that anything could happen between them.)

…

Over the coming weeks, all three members of Team Dark made sure to rework their schedules so that someone was always home to watch over the chao- no more climbing on bookcases for the little one now. Shadow did most of the caretaking, feeding, training, cleaning, and providing Chaos Drives (mostly green) to the chao. Rouge did, however, occasionally claim she could ‘handle the extra work’ to give him some spare time and Omega even took it upon himself to watch it every so often.

Sometimes, Shadow and his chao would even cook together in the kitchen (a hobby he’d discovered he enjoyed after finding out that Rouge tended to eat takeout all the time- “You can’t live off that day in and day out- you’re not me, Rouge!”). The sight of a tiny pale blue creature determinedly lifting a bag of flour and flying it across the room was awfully cute- especially after Shadow bought it a tiny apron in what he unconvincingly claimed was an accidental purchase. 

Shadow never made accidental purchases.

As much as the hybrid took care of it, though, the chao also seemed to be helping him. He smiled more, glowered less, and generally seemed more tolerant of mistakes than he had been in the past. Nowadays, errors that would once have caused him to go off on a rant or huff about were now met with a calmer ‘it’s okay’ or an offer for help fixing it.

He often laid a hand on it in his sleep or curled around it protectively, and could easily be seen patting its head, carrying it around, or even- when he thought he was alone- nuzzling it gently. The amount of time and care he put into making sure that his chao was happy would have been astonishing to anyone who hadn’t already seen how much he cared about his friends.

It was no surprise then that, before long, Rouge and Omega woke up one morning to find the chao inside a cocoon (and also a very stressed-out Shadow).

The hedgehog promptly called in sick for the entire week- an incredible occurrence for him. He’d originally sworn that since he couldn’t get ill, he’d give his sick days to others when they needed it, but now that was all out the window. He wanted nothing more than to stay home and essentially sit and stare at the cocoon until it hatched.

While the two other members of Team Dark managed to convince him to eat, sleep, and do chores on regular intervals, whenever Shadow had a spare moment he’d stay in his room, watching and waiting. Their friends got so worried that Rouge and Omega had used everything in their power to coax him out of the house twice over those five days, but he refused to do any more. Even then his outings had to come with the promise that they’d both stay home, check it every five minutes, and call him the absolute moment something happened.

On the sixth day of waiting, the cocoon began to hatch while Shadow was attempting to discreetly read out loud to the chao from one of his favorite books. The moment he saw the split, he dropped the novel, jumped up, and shouted louder than he had in months- “Rouge! Omega! It’s HAPPENING!”

He hovered so closely around the cocoon that Omega had to physically pull him back as Rouge reminded him to give the chao more space. Within moments, the split had widened enough for a single black paw to poke out, feeling around carefully for some sort of purchase to pull itself the rest of the way outside. Soon enough, it had succeeded, earning- impressively enough- widened eyes from Omega and a gasp from both Shadow and Rouge.

Frowning light blue eyes were set in an equally grumpy (albeit adorable) face, with two little black ears and three tiny quills on the chao’s head. The ears and quills both had red stripes, as did the arms, legs, and even its tail. A red crescent shape sat on its chest, and two tiny purple bat wings flapped slowly behind it.

In short, it looked a lot like a tiny Shadow.

The hedgehog in question reached out carefully and began to pet his chao, offering some quiet words of praise, but before long it flew up and settled in its favorite spot in between his ears. When Shadow turned around to face his friends, they were met with the sight of a little glowering creature settled on top of his head…which really did look far too similar to the hybrid himself when he was irritated. 

Rouge covered a smile with both of her hands. “Shadow...hon…”

He frowned at her, only serving to make the resemblance more obvious. “What?”

“It looks exactly like you!”

“Not really- it has blue eyes and...bat wings…” He looked up at her suddenly. “Rouge...how much time have you been spending with Spark again?”

“Oh, just a little- wait, Spark?” she said quickly, redirecting his attention.

Shadow flushed a bright green at that. “I might’ve already picked out a name...does it sound alright?” he asked, studiously looking anywhere but at his friends.

The chao chirped at the name and snuggled a little further into the fur on his head, seemingly pleased with the title. 

He began to smile at that. “You like that name, do you?” he asked teasingly.

“It sure looks like it! I think it’s a lovely name, hon.” Rouge added.

The chao cooed, cementing its name with all of the team (whether Omega would admit it or not).

Now, if anything, Shadow and his chao were even more close than before. Rouge even bought it a tiny leather jacket to match his style, which was quickly deemed by everyone (especially their friends, to whom she’d sent about fifty photos) the most adorable thing ever. 

...

One day, Shadow came home from lunch out with Silver and Blaze only to discover a quite unexpected scene- though he really should have seen it coming, considering what he’d noticed after his chao had hatched. Rouge was kneeling next to the sofa, scratching Spark behind the ears and saying in what could only be described as a baby voice, “Who’s your favorite momma? Me, that’s right. That’s right, isn’t it?”

“Uh….” he interrupted, feeling more than a little uncertain as to how to respond to this. He was torn between “I didn’t know you had a baby voice” and “I’m glad to see you and Spark getting along” and wasn’t entirely sure which one to go with here.

The bat, on the other hand, jumped a good three feet in the air at the sound before glaring at Shadow furiously. “Don’t startle me like that!” she shouted, more than a little tense...and also a bit worried?

The hybrid didn’t react, instead saying “It’s nice to see you spending time with Spark too, Rouge.” with a smile. 

She relaxed a little at that, and Shadow sighed. “Rouge, I wouldn’t make fun of you- I do the same kind of thing, don’t I?”

“You’re right, you’re right.” the bat admitted. “I just had to! It looks like me- it even has my wings! How could I not?”

Shadow moved to sit down on the sofa at that, reaching out to pat the chao as well. Rouge smiled at him gratefully, and then they both looked down at the cute creature in between them, who was promptly staring up at both with a confused look on its face. After a moment, though, it seemed to realize that everything was alright and nuzzled both Mobians before curling up on the couch happily.

…

Another time, the entire team was out grocery shopping at their favorite store when Spark’s eye was caught by the soft, warm cinnamon buns sitting behind a glass case. After a minute or two of desperate pulling at the seams- to no avail- it flew over to Shadow and began to poke at his shoulder until he turned to look at it.

“Yes? What is it?” he asked, giving the chao a little scratch under the chin.

The chao pointed excitedly at the sweet treats, but its expression melted into one of dismay upon hearing him say “No, Spark, that’s not very good for you- and it’s too big for you to finish all by yourself, too.”

It mimed a clock insistently- they didn’t go to the store that often, after all- its frown deepening all the while. Shadow felt a little uncertain- he enjoyed giving the chao treats, but was now really the best time to feed it so much sugar? It could end up flying all over the place, and he really didn’t feel like getting banned from yet another grocery store. (The last one had been because Omega got a little too excited while messing around with the shopping cart and had melted it and twisted it into a knot...somehow. They were rapidly escorted out after that.)

Suddenly, though, the chao shuffled forward, took one of his fingers in between its tiny paws, and stared up at him with the softest, most pleading look it could possibly manage, its eyes wide and mouth quivering. “No...no, come on…” Shadow protested weakly, but already his resistance was melting away. It practically seemed to be saying haven’t I been good all week? Can’t I please just have this one treat? and the hybrid was in no condition to fight back.

Within moments, Spark was holding a cinnamon roll and dug into it with glee, only pausing once to nuzzle Shadow happily and offer him a quick bite as thanks. He accepted the gesture of appreciation easily (even though now his face had sugar on it after the chao’s affectionate thank-you) and was more than happy to see his chao smiling broadly with the treat in its hands.

…

The chao was, of course, still a great help to Shadow as well. One night in particular, it woke up to the sounds of quiet whimpering and began to look around, startled. For a moment, it turned to its caretaker for help- and then discovered that he was the one in trouble.

Shadow was curled up on his side, his brow creased in distress and his whole body shaking terribly. His eyes were squeezed tightly shut and occasionally the most terribly saddening sounds would escape his mouth. Once or twice, a tear escaped and trickled down his face.

Spark crawled up to his face gently, licking away the tear and nuzzling his cheek. Shadow shuddered briefly, but seemed to relax almost infinitesimally when the dark chao pressed itself against his chest for a moment. Eventually, the creature managed to get him to roll onto his back, at which point it crawled onto his chest, hoping that this would help him begin to relax.

It really did work- within moments, the small, warm weight on his chest made Shadow’s breathing even out and his shivers ease as the nightmare that was plaguing him began to fade.

Spark curled up, pleased with itself, and fell back asleep not long after.

…

There was just one problem amongst all this newly-discovered happiness that came with the chao. Ever since it had evolved out of its cocoon, Omega seemed as though he were hardly willing to interact with it.

Rouge or Shadow would hand it over to him, only to get it back less than a minute later. He spent the least amount of time with it out of the three, but when he was asked if he didn’t like the chao, he never said as much. 

Omega didn’t tend to lie...but then why wouldn’t he do anything with it?

Once or twice, they’d caught him merely staring at Spark as the little creature sat on the couch, his optics clicking but otherwise utterly silent. The two Mobians hardly knew what to make of it- he’d never acted like this before.

They finally had the opportunity to discover why he was behaving strangely several days later, though, entirely due to an accident on Shadow’s part. Rouge and Omega had been answering a distress call regarding some rogue G.U.N. robots and needed to call in the hybrid to help. He’d driven his motorbike directly to the scene and leapt straight into battle…

...and hadn’t noticed Spark peeking out of the bag he’d left on his bike.

The chao- while fast, to be sure- was in no way prepared for a full-on battle. While at first it had hoped to help its little family, flying about uncertainly in hopes of doing something, it quickly discovered that the only thing it could really do was to hide behind an upended concrete slab and hope it wasn’t noticed.

That, unfortunately, didn’t quite work out.

It didn’t take long before one of the rogue drones spotted a fourth heat signature aside from the three it was fighting and began to stalk towards it, charging its laser cannon in the process. Shadow, confused at first, felt his stomach drop in horror upon seeing his tiny chao shaking in fear as the machine advanced on its hiding spot. He hadn’t thought to bring a Chaos Emerald, believing this would be an easy battle- and Rouge was busy in the air.

The laser cannon on the drone was almost fully charged, and Shadow fired up his skates in a futile attempt to somehow reach Spark before-

A white hot blast lit up the area.

Shadow couldn’t have stopped the strangled cry that came from his mouth if he had wanted to. The smoke began to clear, and he almost couldn’t look…

Something stirred within the haze, and as it cleared away, Shadow felt his whole body sag with relief upon seeing Omega shifting to an upright position from where he’d shielded the chao with the back of his chassis, blocking the full force of the laser. He let out a sigh as he caught a glimpse of Spark held safely in Omega’s hand as the other one retracted to reveal a flamethrower.

“MY TURN.”

Within moments, the drone was just so much melted slag on the floor and the battle’s tide was turned. Shadow and Rouge dispatched the other robots and then rushed to Omega, who had held onto the chao this entire time.

“Omega...thank you.” Shadow said, taking Spark from his friend and holding it tightly.

“IT WAS- zzzt- NOTHING.” Omega said, a sudden staticky buzz splitting his sentence in two.

“Omega?” Rouge asked, her eyes narrowing. “What happened to you?”

“NOTHING.” he said hurriedly, his voice still glitching. “WAIT- DON’T YOU D-DARE-”

The three had already begun looking to see what had happened...but then froze when they saw the damage his back panel had taken while shielding Spark from the blast. A giant, smoking hole of warped and fused metal was burned into his chassis, revealing a bunch of melted and sparking wiring that definitely needed urgent attention.

“Omega…” Shadow looked horrified.

Rouge frowned, confused. “Why would you do this to yourself? I know how much you hate having to go get repairs.”

The robot let out a burst of static that sounded almost like a resigned sigh. Turning around, he muttered, “IT’S LI-LITERALLY YOU. AND ROUGE. BUT TINY. THAT APPEARS TO HAVE… STRANGE EFFECTS- zzzt- ON MY BEHAVIOR.”

“Do you...not like those effects?” Rouge asked, now clearly shifting into ‘I’m figuring things out’ mode. “Is that why you’ve been avoiding it so often?”

“I AM A ROBOT OF MASS DESTRUCTION. I AM NOT SUPPOSED TO CARE FOR TINY CREATURES SUCH AS THIS ONE. I SHOULD NOT FEEL ANY ‘WORRY’ ABOUT IT- AND YET-” Omega cut off there with a frustrated crackle.

Shadow still didn’t understand. “You’ve always been a robot of mass destruction, but you never thought it was weird to worry about us before.”

“THAT WAS DIFFERENT!” Omega insisted. “YOU BOTH ARE POWERFUL. IT IS NATURAL THAT RESPECT AND CONSEQUENTLY OTHER THINGS SHOULD COME FROM THAT. BUT THIS-! IT HAS NO DESTRUCTIVE QUALITIES! BUT STILL I...YOU KNOW...”

“It’s official, Omega.” Rouge said at that, a smirk growing on her face. “You’re becoming more and more like us...organics are always weak for cute things.”

“IT IS SHAMEFUL THAT I SHOULD COME TO THIS.” he grumbled.

“It’s not so bad, really.” Shadow said, placing a hand on his arm.

“And that’s coming from the guy who never used to admit he cares about people!” Rouge insisted. “Omega, you know you don’t have to be embarrassed about that kind of thing here- you’d never make fun of Shadow for not being tough all the time, would you?”

“I GUESS NOT…” he said, still seeming irritated.

At this point, Spark flew up to sit in Omega’s hand, looking up at the robot with its little frowning face, before reaching out and patting a single finger solemnly with its paw.

“OH NO.”

“Oh yes.” Rouge answered, grinning. “Let’s get you to Tails now though, okay? Then once you’re fixed up you can come home and pet the chao.”

Omega turned his head away and refused to dignify that with a response.

(He did, however, pet the chao when he got home. Nobody teased him about it, for which- while he’d never say it- he was rather grateful.)

…

It was inevitable, eventually, that Team Dark’s schedule wouldn’t be perfect and that they’d all have to be out and busy at some point. This, of course, meant that Spark would have to be dropped off at the chao daycare. 

Shadow had managed to force himself to reconcile with that fact, but the chao wasn’t nearly as good at that sort of thing.

On the day of, it was sobbing desperately, clinging to Shadow’s jacket with a tight grip as though it’d been handed a horrible punishment instead of a day spent at the warm, welcoming building in front of it. “It’s going to be alright. You’ll be okay, it’s just for a day. See, the Mobians who run it are very nice- won’t you look?” the hybrid whispered in a soothing voice, gently rubbing Spark’s head.

Omega stepped forward. “DON’T YOU...WANT TO SHOW HOW BRAVE YOU CAN BE?” he said awkwardly. Talking to the chao was still taking some getting used to for him, but he was definitely trying his best.

Rouge smiled warmly at that. “Of course! We’ll all be so proud of you, don’t you know that?”

“We can make a cake especially for you when you get home too, alright?” Shadow said, and that was the final thing the chao needed to hear. Wiping its eyes with a final few sniffles, it flew over to the little walkway towards the entrance and stood up tall, its body shaking slightly with leftover stress and its attempts not to cry.

“We love you!” Rouge called, blowing it a quick kiss.

“See you soon.” Shadow said gently, waving with a smile.

“YOU’LL BE THE BEST ONE THERE.” Omega added, shuffling in place a little.

The chao whimpered briefly, but then turned away and bounded into the daycare before it could lose its nerve. 

Throughout the morning, it remained relatively antisocial- a bit like the hedgehog whose appearance it had taken- during the music and karate lessons. The other chao all babbled and played together, being mostly neutral and hero-types, and the few dark chao that were there wanted to cause an awful lot more trouble than Spark was in the mood for.

One thing that it noticed very clearly, though, was the extraordinarily frustrating presence of a royal blue hero and speed-type chao.

This chao didn’t seem to think even once (let alone twice) about anything it did. It banged on the drums until Spark’s ears were sore during music class and then somehow managed to smack it in the face during karate lessons twice, and all the while it chatted away with about five other chao all around it.

Needless to say, by midday, when it was playtime, Spark had just about had enough.

When the blue chao rushed directly through the little sand city that it had been carefully building, swiping everything away with a single dash, Spark growled, picked up the plastic shovel it had been playing with, and threw it so hard it whacked the other creature in the arm.

Snarling, it began to stomp off when it felt a hand on its shoulder. The blue chao darted away and began hurriedly to try and rebuild the city, occasionally glancing up at Spark with an apologetic expression in its eyes.

It...looked awfully sad, actually.

Suddenly, the dark chao remembered how it had quickly stopped banging on the drums when the teacher had told it to, and how it had looked rather guilty when it had smacked Spark in the face, and how excited it was when talking with the other chao…

Maybe it was just a little clumsy sometimes.

Spark sighed a little. The other meant well, it decided, as its anger began to fade. It appreciated the apology...but now the sculptures were gone and it couldn’t get them back. Then, though, its gaze fell upon a pair of toy cars sitting nearby. 

Pulling the blue chao over to a strip of flat, packed earth nearby, it gave one car to its surprised companion and then set its own down at a line that could work quite well as the start of a race.

Soon enough, the other creature worked out the idea and began to cheer with delight, and before long they were racing cars like they’d been friends since the start. Eventually, they even switched to running races themselves, over and over again until they were all worn out and collapsed on the cool grass in a heap. Before long, though, they were up and at it again, only this time they started with a building game, and then had a little fun with the musical instruments, and soon enough Spark couldn’t help but wonder how they had ever fought in the first place.

Eventually, they decided that their next activity would be a race to the top of the jungle gym they noticed nearby. Spark was determined not to lose as it scrambled up the bars. It pulled itself paw over paw up the structure, getting closer and closer to the top, until-

Suddenly, a bar that it had been sure existed in front of it only a moment ago was now clearly just a little too far away, and the mistake caused it to reel forward, desperately clinging to the slippery bar it sat on. It twisted head over heels until it slid and fell all the way back to the ground, the wind slammed forcefully out of its little lungs.

Spark gasped soundlessly, trying and failing to pull air back into itself. After several agonizing seconds, it finally caught its breath- and then nearly got it knocked back out again by the impact of its new friend.

Regaining focus, the dark chao realized with a start that its friend was practically wailing into its chest, the soft blue creature shaking with desperate, panicked sobs. It looked up quickly, its eyes swollen and teary, and then reached out with its paws and hurriedly patted Spark’s body down, as though to reassure itself that the dark chao was still there. 

The creature in question sat up and pulled its friend into a tight hug, feeling nothing less than awful as the blue chao sniffled and whimpered worriedly in its arms. Eventually, it managed to calm down enough to amble over to a small nest made of blankets especially for tired chao and lay down there next to Spark. The two chao curled up together, nuzzling gently as the shaky breaths of the blue one finally evened out.

Spark felt the little ball over its head pop into a heart shape, and noticed briefly that its friend had done the same. They remained curled up like that for the last half-hour or so of their time in the daycare, alternately simply cuddling or talking about their respective owners.

Spark hoped they’d get to spend more time with this friend of theirs soon.

…

Shadow pulled up to the daycare on his motorcycle at closing time, doing his best to smooth out his frazzled quills. It wouldn’t be very good to let his chao know that he’d been nearly as worried about it as it had felt itself. 

He sighed, making his way towards the entrance of the building- and instantly felt the last wisps of his composure vanish upon seeing Sonic standing just inside. Before he could panic and flee the area at top speed, his legs (which didn’t seem to have received the message just yet) carried him through the door and inside.

Almost immediately, the blue hedgehog turned to face him with a bright smile. “Oh! Hey, Shadow!” Sonic said happily. “I didn’t know you brought your chao here, too! I’ve gotta say hi to the little guy again sometime!”

“This is my first time bringing it here. If it’s alright with that…I suppose you may.” the hybrid said, trying his best to sound coherent and cool (but actually just seeming stiff and awkward).

They talked for a little while as they waited for their chao to come out, chatting about their lives and friends. More than once, Shadow had to pinch himself in order to stay focused. His mind kept threatening to wander off into dreamland when he was around the hero, ready to admire his many great qualities (and wonderful appearance) at the drop of a hat.

Eventually, though, he became a bit worried by the fact that chao after chao were wandering out through the playroom door, being collected, and leaving…but neither Spark nor Sonic’s chao had even showed up. Soon enough, the two decided to walk into the room and find their tiny charges themselves.

“Uh, hi, mixter!” Sonic greeted the leopard who ran the daycare. “Didja see my lil’ buddy somewhere around here?”

“Oh, hello Sonic!” they said brightly- clearly the hero had been to this place quite a few times before. “Yes, your chao is over there in that nest there, sorry. I just hated to disturb those two…”

Shadow frowned. Those two?

His question was promptly answered when Sonic whisked aside the blanket covering the nest, only for both of them to stare at the sight inside.

Two purring chao, one clearly Sonic’s and the other obviously Shadow’s, were snuggled up together with big hearts floating over their heads. Even the hybrid’s dark chao, notorious for its ever-present frown, looked completely at peace with a small smile on its face.

He tried his best not to freak out.

“Erm…” Shadow began eloquently.

“Uh…” Sonic replied.

The two chao perked up at this, looking happily at their owners before nuzzling gently together in a manner that made Shadow’s stomach leap into his throat and then crash straight through the floor. In a further twist (both in events and in the striped hedgehog’s internal organs), Sonic’s chao then leapt happily into his arms, leaving Shadow to stare at the tiny version of his crush cuddling into his chest fur.

He sincerely hoped there was a convenient couch nearby for him to sit down on.

“Blu- come on-” Sonic began, looking oddly panicked for some reason, but then Spark sprang eagerly onto his shoulder and the hero rapidly fell silent as the dark chao nudged his cheek.

The two hedgehogs stared at each other for a long time. Shadow tried to move or do something other than just stand there, but it was awfully difficult when the hero was looking at him with those wide, soft green eyes….

“Er…Sonic?” Shadow finally choked out, in an odd, strained sort of tone.

“Yeah?”

“I think I’d like my chao back now.”

“Yeah.”

They each handed over their respective creatures, though Shadow felt rather reluctant to let such a tiny version of Sonic out of his arms. And for a moment he could almost have sworn that the hero held Spark a little longer than necessary, too…

…

Once he got home, the hybrid collapsed onto the couch and covered his eyes briefly with a hand. Spark, who had at first rushed into the kitchen (not having forgotten the promise of cake), came back and began to tug on his arm briefly before realizing that maybe Shadow wasn’t quite up to doing much of anything at the moment.

Rouge and Omega walked in just a moment later, their work having ended a little after Shadow’s. Upon seeing him slumped on the furniture, though, their greetings were cut short and instead replaced by worried questions.

Shadow sighed. “Spark...just spent a bunch of time cuddling with Sonic’s chao. And he noticed.”

“And that’s a good thing, hon.” Rouge shot back, having resisted a facepalm the moment she realized what all this was about.

“It is not!” the hedgehog cried out, before realizing that Spark was more than a little stressed by his tone of voice. “I’m not mad at you, don’t worry, it’s just...I already make enough of a fool of myself around him on my own. He’ll figure it out soon enough if we keep this up.”

“SO LET HIM.” Omega said. “EITHER HE STARTS DATING YOU OR HE’S AN IDIOT.”

Shadow blushed furiously. “It doesn’t work like that!”

“EXCEPT WHEN IT DOES.”

“Why don’t you tell him, hon?” Rouge asked. “I mean…” and here she developed a devious smile, “...didn’t his chao technically also act all affectionate with yours?”

The hybrid’s ears were bright green by now. “He’s nice to everyone, Rouge.”

At this point, Spark- who had left temporarily to get a pencil and paper- held up a drawing it had made of the scene at the jungle gym earlier. Shadow, of course, immediately began fussing over his chao, checking for any bruises or scrapes, but the bat in particular saw something entirely different.

“Kinda...reminds me of what happened on Space Colony ARK.” she mused. 

Shadow’s head shot up at that. “What?”

Rouge smirked, but it was bittersweet this time. “Your fall...it really hurt him too, y’know? He didn’t go out in public for a long time after that.”

“He...he never mentioned that to me…”

“He wouldn’t have!” she said. “Sonic isn’t the type to ‘bother’ others with his feelings.” Rouge explained, doing air quotes at one point.

“HE ALSO STARES AT YOU WHEN YOU ARE NOT LOOKING.”

“He what?!” By now Shadow had been reduced to just looking back and forth between his two friends. 

Spark flew in front of Shadow’s face and began to mime something. First pointing at Shadow, then a heart, then talking, then a hedgehog with all its quills pointed down…

“No! I can’t just tell him!”

“We’re hanging out with his team next week at the park- you should do it then.” Rouge replied, ignoring the last thing he’d just said.

“Did you not hear me, I can’t-”

“YOU WILL NEED SOMETHING NICE TO WEAR.” Omega said loudly over the rest of his sentence.

Spark cheered approvingly.

“So...you three have just decided for me whether or not I’m going to confess to Sonic.” Shadow sighed, beginning to resign himself to the fact.

“Absolutely, hon!” Rouge said brightly, slipping an arm around his shoulders.

He glowered at all three of them, but it lacked any real malice. “Alright, I’ll play along...for now.” he grumbled.

“EXCELLENT. LET THE PLANNING COMMENCE.”

…

One week later, Shadow was standing in the middle of a patch of grass, feeling like his knees were about to buckle as sweat trickled through his quills. He was no longer resigned to telling Sonic about his feelings and was in fact considering jumping into the nearby lake and hiding there for the duration of the hangout. His stomach- along with whatever scraps of resolve he may have had- were currently all the way back at their house.

On top of all that, he was frankly surprised he didn’t just spontaneously burst into flames when the other three Mobians showed up, Sonic in the lead.

“Hey guys!” he said excitedly. “Long time no see!”

Rouge snickered a bit at his catchphrase (it was one of many) but Shadow just felt his ears burn. He was just so cute and cheesy and already the hybrid’s mind was devolving into a mushy mess.

“Rouge, Omega.” he greeted them each, but he seemed to pause for a second on the last name. “...Shadow.”

The hedgehog in question thankfully managed a reply, and then the fun began in earnest. Knuckles and Shadow competed in several arm-wrestling matches with narration from Tails (“...aaaand Knuckles looks like he’s in the lead!”) and commentary from Omega (“YOU’RE LUCKY I DON’T ARM-WRESTLE OR ELSE BOTH OF YOUR ARMS WOULD BE BROKEN.”). Rouge and Sonic were busy pranking other innocent people, though once in a while the latter would look over at the competition, distracted.

Eventually, Tails and Omega got bored- which of course meant Knuckles and Shadow had to play the role of caretaker (“No, you can’t blow up trees. No, not even for ‘science’.”) for a little while.

At one point, though, Rouge got bored with the pranks and had dragged the echidna off to a park bench and was now flirting with him enough to turn his face as red as his spines. Tails had promised to behave- which now meant that he was halfheartedly attempting to convince Omega not to modify his cannon to launch ducks from the nearby pond- leaving Sonic and Shadow to themselves. Blu and Spark had been playing in the grass all this time (since both of them had brought their chao without really realizing that the other would do the same), and Shadow had very definitely not been thinking about how lucky his chao was that emotions were easy for it.

He remembered the talk his friends had given him before this outing then and wondered if maybe, just maybe, it could be that easy. Before he could stop himself, he’d already spoken.

“...Sonic?”

“Yeah?” the hero asked, turning to face Shadow.

“I...wanted to talk to you about something.” he said, regretting everything already because look how stupid he was about to seem...yet Shadow Robotnik the Hedgehog had never been one to do things by halves.

“Oh, really?” Sonic said, and now he almost looked relieved, for some reason. “I, uh, was actually hoping to do the same. That’s cool, what is it?”

“No, no, you go first.” Shadow urged him, hoping that he’d take the offer.

Unfortunately, today was not his lucky day. “No, man, you asked first! Go ahead, what was it?”

“Really- it’s fine.”

“No, you had something you wanted to say!” Sonic insisted.

“It’s okay, I swear-”

“Well, I guess-”

“I mean, if you want-”

“Okay-”

“You see-”

“I like you!”

Both hedgehogs shouted the words at the exact same time, before freezing and staring at each other.

“Wait…” Shadow began.

Sonic’s eyes were wide. “You like me back?!?” he gasped, hands flying up to his mouth.

“...yes.” he admitted, looking off to the side in embarrassment. Then it hit him. “Wait. You like me back?”

“Of course! How could I not?” Sonic asked incredulously. “You’re smart, funny, nice-” He’d begun listing off attributes while counting on his fingers, but cut himself off upon noticing Shadow’s confusion.

“Yes, but you’re a hero. The world’s hero.” Shadow began to frown, staring at the grass. “Why would you settle for someone like-”

“No.” Sonic growled, and the hybrid looked up suddenly to see his face twisted in anger. “Don’t ever say that.”

“But everyone thinks it…” Shadow protested weakly.

“Yeah, well, ‘everyone’ isn’t part of my love life.” Sonic assumed a slightly less aggressive stance, placing a hand on his hip. “Whoever’s been telling you that can either leave you alone or get their face introduced to my sneakers.”

Shadow blushed. “Nobody needed to. I just assumed...but perhaps I shouldn’t have.” he added quickly, seeing the hero begin to glower again. 

“That’s right!” he said, zipping over to stand directly in front of Shadow. “No assumptions here- talk to me from now on if something’s worryin’ you, ‘kay?”

Then, he seemed to notice the sudden stiffness in the hybrid’s posture, as well as the green flush slowly creeping up his ears. Sonic leaned forward with a smirk, resting his forearm on Shadow’s shoulder. “Thinkin’ about something?”

Shadow gulped.

For once, he decided that he could do what he wanted. So, he slowly reached up a hand and touched the peach fur on Sonic’s arm gently, like it was the most delicate thing in the world. 

Rather more quickly, Sonic turned a shade of bright red to rival Omega’s paint job.

“So, uh…” he began, his voice shaky. “Erm...do ya feel like sitting under that tree? Together?”

Shadow agreed, and the two walked over to the shady patch, sitting down and resting against each other. Soon enough, though, Sonic turned to face Shadow, a little nervous. “Do we, like, need to talk about this? Figure out...what to do about…us?” He started turning pink again.

“Maybe later. We have a lot of time, after all.” Shadow said, trying to contain the soaring feeling inside when Sonic said ‘us’- until he realized that he didn’t have to any longer.

“What’re you smiling about?”

“You. And me. Together.” Shadow said simply, making Sonic laugh and snuggle up against him, resting his head on a black-furred shoulder.

“Wow. That’s, uh….that’s new. I really like it though.”

Then, the hero looked up at him. “I really like you, too.”

At this point, a loud whistle could be heard from Rouge, who was standing not too far off and had likely heard a lot of what they’d said. Sonic just giggled, while Shadow shot her a death glare. She just winked and mouthed I’ll keep them occupied, at which point the hybrid tried not to show how very much he appreciated that and failed miserably.

And Sonic was purring now. Which of course meant that every single brain cell in Shadow’s head was promptly dead for the next five minutes.

After he’d recovered from that, Shadow wrapped his arms tightly around his...boyfriend? Maybe? He thought for a moment. “Hey, Sonic?”

“Yeah?”

“How do you feel about being my-” Shadow paused briefly to cough, trying to get the words out- “-boyfriend?”

“I think I like that a lot.”

Shadow smiled warmly, feeling the beginnings of a purr rise up in his own chest.

“I like that a lot, too. Almost as much as I like you.”

[stardusttkachuk]

Santa’s Workshop

Pairing: JJ x Reader

Word Count: 1.7k

Warnings: fluff, swearing,

Summary: JJ picks up a holiday job, working as one of Santa’s elves. He doesn’t expect to meet another elf there, but isn’t disappointed in who he’ll be working with all season.

A/N: This is day 1 of starduststarkey’s 12 days of Christmas. Find other fics in my masterlist

Wanna be tagged? click here!

“You look fucking ridiculous,” John B says as JJ stands in front of the broken full length mirror that JB picked up from a junkyard.

“At least I have a job, asshat.” He fixes his hat on his head, grimacing at the way the tights hug his body. He’s uncomfortable in every place imaginable and is already dreading the 5 hour shift.

“Maybe if you’re a good elf, Santa will bring you a girlfriend this year!” Pope teases.

“You better shut the fuck up before this elf beats you to a pulp,” JJ threatens, fists raised.

Pope laughs. “I don’t think elves are supposed to be getting in fist fights.”

JJ huffs and rolls his eyes. Pope is right. He can’t show up to this job covered in bruises, that would scare the kids even more than he probably already will.

“Will you please drive me?” He asks John B. 

“Maybe you should ask Santa for a car,” John B says, grabbing the keys to the Twinkie.

“Why do you think I even took this job in the first place? Please. I don’t want to be seen in public like this.”

You set your bag in the provided cubby, checking your phone one last time before your scheduled session. When you had signed up to be one of Santa’s elves at the local mall, you were ecstatic. You and your best friend had been doing this for the last two years. But this year, your best friend ditched you for the hot chocolate stand. Really she ditched you for the cute girl who worked at the hot chocolate stand, and now you were stuck working with some kid named JJ Maybank. You crossed your fingers in hopes that he wasn’t some loser like the guy they hired last season.

“Santa arrives in 10 minutes! You better be out there in 5!” Natasha, the showrunner of Santa’s Workshop yells through the improvised locker and changing room. “Where’s your other elf?”

You shrug. “I don’t know. He hasn’t shown up yet.”

“Well when he gets here tell him he’s a dead man if he isn’t here 15 minutes prior to his shift.” She storms out, clipboard in hand. 

The first day is always one of the craziest. Things don’t settle down until a few weeks in. And by the time they do settle down, it’s already the week before Christmas and they get crazy again. 

“Hi. I’m JJ Maybank. I think this is where I’m supposed to be?” You hear someone say, likely talking to the nutcracker that’s posted outside the green room.

“In there. Find Y/N. You’ll know it’s her because she’ll be dressed just like you.”

You roll your eyes. At least he showed up. Ten minutes late but he did make it.

He passes through the curtains, blonde hair a mess under his elf hat. You’ll have to remind him to brush it before he arrives. You have an extra brush in your bag, but you know you won’t have time to make it look perfect.

He spies you easily, strutting towards you. “I’m JJ. Are you Y/N?” 

“That’s me. You’re late, by the way.”

JJ looks at his watch, eyes wide and mouth agape. “I’m five minutes early! That’s the earliest I’ve been for any job!”

“Natasha’s rules state all workshop employees must be present 15 minutes prior to their shift.”

JJ rolls his eyes. “It’s only ten minutes.”

“And if it happens again, you’re a dead man. So you better be here 15 minutes early next time.”

“Okay but why 15? Aren’t we just sitting around those 15 minutes until our shift starts?”

“It’s for costume malfunctions. Like your hair. It needs to be brushed. If you had been here 10 minutes earlier, maybe we would’ve had time to brush it and make it look better.”

“My hair looks fine,” JJ grumbles, though he does attempt to smooth down the ends with his hands. 

You lead him over to the cubby next to yours, gesturing to it. “Put your stuff in here. And that includes your phone.”

JJ places both his phone and wallet into the cubby. He then takes his jacket off and puts it on top of the two valuable items.

“No one is going to steal your stuff, if you’re worried about that. This place is heavily monitored,” you say. “And no one but Santa’s crew is allowed back here anyway.”

JJ is about to speak when an elderly woman with white hair tucked under her hat enters the room. “Looks like Mrs. Claus has arrived,” he jokes.

“That’s Natasha.” You grab JJ’s hand, pulling him out to Santa’s corner before Natasha has a chance to yell at him for his tardiness.

“So what exactly do we do?” JJ whispers, eyeing the line of children and their parents that seems to wrap around the entire display.

“We help the kids from their parents to Santa’s lap and then back out to their parents again. And don’t forget the candy cane before they leave.”

JJ grimaces. “You mean we have to interact with the kids?”

“Yes. Now smile and act like an elf,” you say.

“How do- ohf!” JJ grunts as you elbow him and immediately reach forward for the hand of a little girl.

“Hi! I’m elf Y/N! And this is my friend elf JJ! What’s your name?” You ask in a high pitched voice. 

“I’m Sophie,” she beams. She grasps onto JJ’s hand and you have to bite your lip to keep from laughing at the face he makes. It’s clear he isn’t a fan of kids and you can’t wait to watch him interact with them for the next 30 days.

JJ pulls his booties on over the tights, chuckling to himself as the bells jingle. They jingle every time he walks. He’s grown so used to the sound now though. He’s grown used to looking absolutely ridiculous in his costume. He’s even grown used to the kids, which he thought was impossible.

But the way Y/N smiles when he coos at a baby or holds onto a preschoolers hand has helped him get over his dislike of the kids. He’d do just about anything to see her smile.

“Ready?” John B asks from the doorway, keys looped around his finger.

“Actually a friend is picking me up,” JJ says, grabbing his phone and wallet.

“What friend? You don’t have any friends besides us.”

“Well that’s very rude of you to think. I have plenty of friends. And her name is Y/N. We work together.”

“Work together or sleep together? Or both. Do you guys like, get it on in the costumes?”

“Ew, no,” JJ scoffs.

“Okay, you know elves is somebody's kink,” John B adds, shuddering as he does.

“I didn’t want to know that. I don’t want to think about that.”

“Okay but Y/N… you like her.”

“No. We’re just friends. We’re coworkers. We work the same shift and she offered to give me a ride, okay? Now can you make yourself disappear before she gets here? I don’t want her seeing your face.”

John B pouts. “Why not? I have a very likable face.”

“Just… please?” JJ asks, but it’s too late. 

The beat up Ford truck pulls up in front of the house. JJ knows it’s hers. On days when they work late and it’s dark outside by the time they leave, he walks her to her car. They once spent two extra hours after work sitting in her car and talking. She even gave him a ride home once, but he made her drop him off down the street. It was too risky for her to pull up to his actual house, especially if his dad was home. 

JJ knows John B is in the doorway when he exits the house. He watches as Y/N waves, a courteous smile on her face. JJ walks to the passenger side, hearing the familiar squeak of the old door.

“Who’s that?”

“John B. He’s my best friend.”

“He’s dating Sarah Cameron right?” she asks.

“Yeah. You know Sarah?”

“Everyone on this island knows Sarah,” Y/N laughs. JJ knows she’s not wrong. Everyone did know the Cameron's, especially after the huge scandal that went down last summer. People don’t typically forget about a murder and stealing of millions of dollars worth in gold.

“Right,” JJ laughs nervously. 

You tear your elf hat off as soon as you reach your truck. Today was a hard shift. Multiple crying kids, lines that wrapped all around the mall, parents who didn’t understand the concept of patience and waiting, and then there was the kid that peed on Santa Claus and made everyone wait even longer while Santa went to change. It was a nightmare. 

If it wasn’t for JJ, today would’ve been the day you quit.

But he insisted on stopping for dinner before you dropped him off, so here you were, sitting at a booth across from him, the both of you still clad in your elf costumes.

You probably looked ridiculous but you didn’t care. JJ was your sole focus tonight. He let you vent to him about the craziness of the day and when you weren’t talking he was telling you about the funniest wishes he had overheard while on candy cane duty. 

“All their missing socks?” You laugh, hand covering your mouth.

JJ nods, laughing harder. “He-He couldn’t understand why the dryer monster needed his socks more than him. He even asked if-if monsters were on the naughty list!” JJ bursts out laughing, as do you. If there was one thing that could cheer you up, it was this.

“Kids got a point,” you giggle. “Why does the dryer monster only take one sock and not both? Do you think he only has one leg?”

JJ nods, his smile wide. “Yeah, instead of one eye he’s got one leg.”

Your laughs die down slowly, but you can’t wipe the smile off your face. The smile that was forced all throughout the day was now a real one.

“I’ve missed that smile,” JJ says, reaching his hand across the table.

You blush but take his hand without hesitation, lacing your fingers through his.

JJ nervously clears his throat. “Do you think when this is all over, I can take you on an actual date?”

You’re not sure your smile could get any wider. “I’d like that.”

You both stare at each other for a while longer, before JJ can’t wait anymore. “I’m going to kiss you now,” he says, leaning over the table.

“I’d like that too,” you respond, meeting him halfway.

Tags: @kaelyn-lobrutto24 @serpentbaby @etoilesnoor @k-k0129 @maybanksbaby @talksoprettyjjx @canibeoneofthepogues @multifixx  @theonetheonlyalexbrown @glux64 @shy-1234 @sleepyhollands @cognacdelights @ilovejjmaybank @blueeyedbesson @cheshirecat107 @myrandom-fandomlife @makebank @ifilwtmfc @obxmxybxnk  @kookkyra @rafej-cambanks @blindedbypeaky @ahiae @repostcentral @midnightzonzz @blxndeprincess @dracosbbygorl @itsagurl @Poguesinablanket @amandaburris @tovvaa @sunnsettee

[springsaladgaming]

Follower Milestone

Hey there, all! I recently passed 400 followers, so I thought it would be nice to gift you all some writing!

I had a particular short story that I wanted to gift when we got here, but I’m not entirely happy with it and want to rewrite it.

So, instead, I thought it would be fun to share the predecessor of Ninelives. For those of you who don’t already know, Ninelives was adapted from a short story that I wrote a decade ago for university. It is about a young man who is struggling with depression and, in a failed suicide attempt, learns a small thing about his parents that could potentially evolve into something explosive.

When I started writing this short story, I realized that I wanted to turn it into a novella. The main character would have met someone with a very Carpe Diem attitude and made the shift into a healthier headspace while dealing with his family problems. The overarching theme of the story was the way that little secrets add up. It was always my plan to go back to it once I was done with school, but then real life happened a little too hard (shitty job, pretty severe depression, and some family issues). I never touched it again.

My memory is pretty famously bad about certain things (due to I think ADHD and anxiety). But, of all the short stories that I wrote at uni, I remembered this one like the back of my hand. When I started writing Ninelives, I technically still didn’t touch the old story. I didn’t need to look back at it to remember the overall narrative. I just went at it. And then, a couple of weeks ago, I found the old external drive that I used to store all of my work on and dug up this short story once again.

I think you’ll find the similarities between this short story and Chapter 1 of Ninelives pretty quickly. Dad is kind of an asshole, Mom is pretty dismissive of the main character, and the brother seems to be the only one who cares. Ninelives is also carrying on the theme of secrets in a way. I was actually a little surprised by how similar the two still are, even though they are now different works with a decade of time between them.

This short story is a decade old, thus it hasn’t been edited or revised in the same amount of time, so read it with that in mind. Also, just to be on the safe side...

CONTENT WARNINGS: discussion of suicide, drug abuse/overdose, cigarette use, verbal abuse

And now, without further ado...

Jamie’s ass was beginning to stick to the porcelain tub, and it was getting to him.  As if that weren’t enough, the paper sign taped over his crotch created a pocket of hot air that made his dick stick to his leg. The sign read HOW’S THIS FOR AN EXIT, but Jamie wasn’t going anywhere, and that’s what bothered him most of all.  He’d downed his father’s bottle of blood pressure meds, but nothing was happening.  At least, nothing seemed to be happening, except that Jamie was now hot and sweaty.  He had no idea what ODing on blood pressure meds did, but he was pretty sure it wasn’t this.  He was even more sure that he wasn’t dying.

This would go down in history as the most anticlimactic suicide ever.

Ten minutes.  Twenty minutes.  Thirty.  An hour.  Jamie felt some discomfort—a little sick to his stomach, the porcelain pressing against his boney ass—that was it.  Now he was bored and naked, and someone would probably come looking for him soon.  Probably.

His brother, Graham, was the one who called up to him.  “Hey, Jammy,” he said.  “Dinner’s ready. Get down here.”

Jamie spent a good five minutes after that staring at the ceiling, which was covered in a layer of grime from years of shower steam.  Either that or the years during Jamie’s childhood when he’d come in here to smoke.  His parents had never looked for him here.  That hadn’t changed now that it was the spare bathroom instead of Graham and Jamie’s.

But Graham knew Jamie’s hiding spots and came looking for him.  Jamie heard Graham call for him in the hall for a few minutes, maybe less.  Then Graham knocked on the door.  “Jammers, dinner.  What are you doing in there?”

Jamie hadn’t locked the door.  That would have been too dramatic.  Now it was a mistake, and Graham walked in just as Jamie got out of the tub and crumpled up his suicide note.  The family always seemed to be catching Jamie with his pants down, just never quite so literally.

Graham didn’t seem surprised or the least bit embarrassed.  Jamie felt one of the two emotions, though he wasn’t sure which, and it wasn’t so much over his nakedness as it was the other circumstances.  Graham crossed his arms and said, “Taking a bath?”  He raised an eyebrow and cleared his throat.

“No, I wasn’t jacking off,” Jamie said.  “Just being here makes me limp.”  The fact that Jamie hated coming home wasn’t news to Graham.  Jamie thought that would be enough to end the conversation, but Graham’s eyes flashed to something behind him, and Jamie remembered he’d left the empty prescription bottle on the side of the tub.

“What were you doing, Jamie?” Graham asked.

Jamie grabbed the bottle and tossed it in the garbage along with his suicide note—or maybe it was better to call it his ex-suicide note.  It would be the only ex he’d ever had.  He grabbed a towel from the wall to cover himself and said, “Remind me to tell Dad that Mom’s been giving him placebos.”

“Jamie—”

“Gonna let me get dressed for dinner or what?” Jamie said.

Graham let Jamie pass but followed him down the hall to his old room.  Jamie packed clothes in his backpack instead of leaving some here like Graham did.  It took him a few seconds to get the shirt he was looking for.  He could feel Graham’s eyes on him.  He gave up on pulling out his nice pants and put on the jeans he’d worn earlier that day.  Graham was getting suspicious, Jamie knew.  But it didn’t matter why he was staring; it made Jamie self-conscious of just about everything under the sun.  He fumbled with the button on his pants for a good few minutes—almost broke the thing off—before he got it.  When he turned back to the door, Graham was still staring.

They made eye contact and Graham asked again.  “What were you doing?”

“Nothing,” Jamie said.  He tried to make his way downstairs, but Graham was blocking the door.  This time, he didn’t move.

“Jamie, you’re scaring me,” Graham said.

“Would it make you feel better if I said I knew they were placebos?”

“Did you?”

Jamie pushed his way past Graham.  Graham grabbed Jamie for a second and then let go, as if unsure what he was supposed to do once he had him.  Jamie didn’t have the answers either, wasn’t sure what he’d do if he their positions were reversed.  They would never be reversed, though.  Graham’s life was perfect; suicide wasn’t even an option for him.  He had no idea what it was like.  Maybe that’s why he was silent now.

Once they were seated around the dinner table, it was almost as if it never happened.  Their parents went on about their usual praise of Graham’s life, but not before ragging on Jamie about his.  “Dinner has been at seven sharp every Saturday for the last fifteen years,” Margery said.  “I don’t know why you can’t get that through your head.”

Jamie knew that.  That’s why he’d chosen the time he did.  “I lost track of time,” Jamie said.  He didn’t say more; they were going to tear him apart either way.

“It’s those work hours of his,” Hugh said.  “He has a different schedule every week.  If you’d get a real job, you wouldn’t have that problem.” Hugh didn’t look up from his plate as he cut his meat.  He always ate the meat first, but not before cutting it into perfect little cubes.

I have a real job, Jamie might’ve said, but they’d had this conversation before.  Hugh meant a salary job.  Flipping burgers didn’t count unless Jamie was making more than twenty an hour.

“Speaking of work,” Margery said, “How did your last settlement go, Graham?” Margery went for her veggies first.  She didn’t eat meat and only let Hugh at dinner, though Jamie suspected he snuck it during his lunch.

“It went well,” Graham said.  He’d barely touched his food, but Hugh looked up from his plate at that moment, and Graham dug in.

“You’re not usually so tight-lipped,” Hugh said.

Graham kept his eyes on his plate.  “It’s pretty easy to reach a settlement when the couple agrees on it before they even come to see me,” he said.

Graham was a divorce lawyer, carrying on the family tradition.  Sort of.  Their grandfather had been a judge and a prosecutor before that.  Hugh was also a prosecutor.  Graham’s decision to become a divorce lawyer had been met with a little resistance, but Hugh readily accepted it once Graham proved it made a lot of money.  Everyone’s getting divorced these days, Graham had said.  I’ll never be out of the job.

“That’s how prevalent your brother is, Jamie,” Hugh said.  “Divorcees go to see him even when they don’t need his help.”

Jamie kept his face in his plate and poked at his food with his fork.  What Hugh really meant was, “Why can’t you be successful like your brother?”  It was the same game every Saturday; that’s why Jamie hated coming here.  But it meant a free meal, even if Jamie had usually lost his appetite by the time he got it.  Besides, if he didn’t come, that would be just one more disappointment.

“Jamie will figure it out,” Graham said.  This was his way of taking Jamie’s side.  Usually.

“As soon as he figures how to pay his rent on time,” Hugh said.

Will you please stop talking about me like I’m not here, Jamie wanted to say.

“You’ve paid this month’s rent, I hope,” Hugh said.

“I paid it last month,” Jamie said.  He’d borrowed some money from Graham to do so with the promise of paying it back once he found a new roommate.  The last one packed up and left without a word.  Jamie's parents didn't know about the money, and he wasn't about to tell them now.

“You need to learn how to get ahead in all areas of your life, not just your bills,” Hugh said.

“Jamie,” Margery said, “get your chin off the table.”

Jamie felt like he was eleven again.

Jamie went outside for a smoke when dinner was over.  He didn’t smoke anymore, but he kept reserves for these occasions.  Few Saturdays passed without a cigarette.  He usually kept with the old ritual, smoked on the edge of the tub with the bathroom door closed and the window open.  After today, he avoided that bathroom., and not only because it embarrassed him.  Graham was like a hawk for the rest of the night.  He didn’t take his eyes off Jamie, even when they were cleaning the dishes.  He’d gone so far as to clean all the knives himself.  Jamie couldn’t lay a hand on them.

Graham was outside with Jamie, too, hovering over his shoulder like Hugh used to do when Jamie was a child.  “You still smoke,” Graham said.

“Only after I’m well-cooked by the parents,” Jamie said.

“Smoking will kill you, you know,” Graham said.  He shifted his stance.  “Why not just smoke two packs a day?”

“Because so far the only life goal I’ve met is not getting cancer.”

“We’re switching rooms tonight.”

“Why?”

Graham took Jamie’s cigarette and tossed it into the gravel.  “My room doesn’t have a lock,” Graham said.

“Oh, please,” Jamie said.  “I didn’t lock the bathroom door, did I?”

“Thank god for that.”

“What does it matter?” Jamie said.  “Dad will kill me when he finds that bottle in the trash anyway.”

“Let’s go inside,” Graham said.

“I didn’t get to finish my cigarette.”

“Inside, now,” Graham said.

Jamie didn’t have time to move before Graham corralled him inside with a hand on his shoulder.  When they came in, Margery was on the landing and Hugh was shouting at her from their bedroom.  To Margery, Jamie and Graham must have looked like two brothers who’d just shared a special moment.  It was some kind of special moment, but she didn’t pick up on the animosity and smiled down at them.

“What’s Dad shouting about?” Graham asked.

“He can’t find his medication,” Margery said.  “I’m sure he just misplaced it.  Wouldn’t be the first time.  I assume you two are leaving early tomorrow?”

Graham nodded.  “Actually, I’ve been talking to Jamie about moving in with him.”

“Oh?” Margery said.

Jamie echoed the oh so immediately that they almost said it at the same time.

“Yes,” Graham said.  His fingers dug in to Jamie’s shoulder.  “At least until he can find a new roommate.”

Margery smiled.  “Maybe you can help him get his life on track,” she said.

“Something like that,” Graham said, and he shook Jamie’s shoulder.

Graham was true to his word and made Jamie take his room.  He opened the doors wide and, instead of going to bed himself, sat and watched Jamie from across the hall.

“You have to drive in the morning,” Jamie said.

“You’ll drive,” Graham said.

“Not afraid I’ll crash the car?”

“No,” Graham said, “because then it would be a murder-suicide.”

“You’re not moving in with me,” Jamie said.

“Either I move in with you or I check you into a psyche ward on suicide watch.”

“The apartment is small.”

“Jamie, I lived in a smaller apartment through eight years of college,” Graham said.  “I’ll manage.”

“You’re really going to watch me sleep?” Jamie asked.

“Get used to it,” Graham said.  “From now on, I’ll have to watch you do a lot of things.”

In the morning, Graham was still watching.  The two of them drove back to Denver in Graham’s SUV, and Graham started moving some of his things into Jamie’s apartment later that day.

[oh-for-fic-sake]

The Stand In Chapter Seven

Masterlist Summary: Your finally home! comfortable and confident in the familiar surrounding's at least you are until Henry helps scout the woods for shooting location's and manages to get you alone and you both find out that admitting feelings is tough, but misunderstandings are much worse. Warnings: Implied Smut?, Innuendos?,  Angst, Fluff, Swearing A/N: so here we go chapter Seven!! I'm super happy with how this has ended up but its very long...very long like 1300+ words so get ready!!  This is mostly fluff and angst!!  And a special Thanks to @ayme301​ for helping my with the idead of Joey!!! I hope you all enjoy it xx Taglist: @dark-night-sky-99 @thummbelina @sofiebstar @jellicorn05 @m3anwhil3misha @thefangirlsblog @al-wiisa @healojane @goodpeoplegotohellanyway @heybitchhhh @britty443 @ayamenimthiriel @crazyandanonymous4u @rebel4fandom @mrs-dragneel-stark-solo @angelofthorr @harrysthiccthighss @loserrlauraa @tumblnewby @singeramg @cheeseman​ @lundelorient @isitmine @tinabean37

"You ready?" You asked grabbing your phone checking the battery quickly. Eighty percent good enough. Freya smiled nodding it was time to get going! "Yeah lets go...This is a cool car its very you..Does it have aux? Bluetooth? Can I connect to it?" You chuckled nodding to her sitting in your baby. "Yeah go ahead! she has a killer sound system if I do say so myself~...Use the aux its better on your battery life its in the glove box" she clapped her hands excited as you moved tucking your phone in to the door pocket. She squeeled when she saw found the aux cable and gushed over how neat and cute your car was, you smirked, you thought your baby was cute to. "Oh my god! It's so so small but comfy! like its not cramped in here at all!" you shook your head. As she moved her seat back and streatched out. She was right looks were deceiving you had a black Peugeot 207cc, not to fancy but it was a convertible and all yours. You both fiddled about getting seat belts on and Freya popped her bag on the small bucket seat in the back letting her stretch out her feet in the foot well completely unhindered. You brought the car to life, a deeper growl than she should have thanks to your little customization's. Freya looked around it getting to grips with the stereo you moved your hand down to the roof controls pulling back and she flew, jumped about a foot nearly hitting the roof as it peeled away then began laughing loud. "Holy shit it's a convertible?!" You smiled nodding smugly to her as she leaned back already connecting her phone to the stereo. "I've so hit the jack pot today!" She called as suddenly her music came through the quality speakers you'd had put in.

You swore lightly as you crawled along the motorway in first gear. This was a shit day you should of known Mathew was a bad omen. Here you were nine nearly ten hours into what should have been a seven hour drive. Roof down in the blistering thirty four degree heat!!. The air con was on cooling your feet but that was little constellation to the burning on the back of your neck. "So here is the down side to a convertible no protection in the fucking heat!" You said trying to laugh off the brutal situation at least it was automatic and you wasn't shifting gear every few mineut's or so. Honestly your feet weren't even on the pedals the car did all the work crawling down the tarmac. Things had been great until an hour ago you'd been cruising,  blasting tunes,taking selfies with Freya even a video for her instagram story which over the course of filming you'd been involved with. Joey had also convinced you to make your own which was cool. But during this drive things had been just laid back and fun! Especially as you weaved in and out of the Witcher entourage singing along to the likes of queen, little mix and Rhianna as you went, having a proper girls road trip. Freya received a text from Joey who was in a car behind you at some point begging you to change the song when Freya decided to blare toss a coin once she spotted him waving in the window. Even Henry who was in the bus you were overtaking had popped his head up and called a few words out the window laughing as you passed him head bopping like pigeons to Joeys strumming. Naturally once you'd got those reactions the song was put on repeat and turned up. You'd even slowed down to be along side Henry's bus and trap Joey's car behind you for a few verse's or so the second time round before shooting off and pulling in infront of the bus. Then a lunch pit stop which included you and Freya following Joey singing toss a coin loud and off key to irritate him. But he laughed along with you, he found it quite flattering that you both knew all the words because you both had it on your phone..I mean what Witcher fan doesn't? After lunch the other trucks had caught up with you and you all set of again for the next few grueling hours of the drive. It was only one more hour of plain sailing until bang. Fucking traffic an accident by the looks of it, you were all trying to check the news but it had only just happened and nothing was being released about it. but by the amount of police and ambulances it was very bad. "Fuck me we will get there quicker reversing!" You groaned slumping Freya giggled finding the whole situation a laugh a mineut she moved opening a bag of crisps holding them out to you letting you take a few. "No no its fine besides I get to wear this fashionable hat~" she posing for anothet selfie in the large floppy sun hat that you kept in the car for this type of situation the hat covered the back of your neck. She scanned her phone and sat up from her slouched position seeing the traffic news. "Oh fuck they just put inline about the accident...We're on the M40 right?" You nodded to her and frowned what ever was online didn't seem good for her to frown like that "Says here tail backs are for a few hours...Accident was two lorries caused a ten car pile up at junction eight... looks nasty five fatalities." You squinted junction eight?! That was fucking miles away from where you were sitting. You moved to reply but was interupted by her phone going off. "Hold on its Lauren...Hi...You saw it to?...Hold on I'll ask her" she moved turning to you. "Are we close to the accident? Lauren said you'd know better than anyone" you shook our head at her letting the car crawl faster as someone pulled oof into the lay by getting out to have a piss. "Not really... About twenty minutes in normal traffic. I know a short cut the smaller cars and vans can take to avoid it busses can't tho just tell them to follow me" Freya recited that to Lauren who seemed to consult Tee the put the phone on loud speaker. "Really? You can get us there quicker around the traffic?" You heard the hope in Laurens tone as she asked you. "Yeah you just gotta trust me I know this area....Might cut through country roads near home okay? tell them to follow me off the motorway after the next junction A404 then down to the M4 the bigger trucks and busses will have to go on to A329 then to the M3 they should come off at towards blackwater and hawley...think its the A327or skmehing its an okay work around but the rest can fit in the smaller roads with me" you heard Tee speak up moving to the phone getting louder. "You thinking of going around ascot? The old back roads around the ferns and the old showground?" You smiled as she guessed correctly and nodded you could hear the smile in her voice. "Yeah then we can be in the woods from the back near the chocolatebox house just past the sand pitt" you explained knowing you and Tee were the only two who had a clue what you were talking about. In all honesty you wasn't that far from the woods it was just the motorway though a pain and longer in miles was usually faster. "But don't we need to be on the other side? We were setting up set on your side of Brian's woods...Better access" She questioned you huffed smiling she forgot it would all be cornered off for you. "Yeah but snake lane is gonna be clear with us booking the whole wood so can use that to cut through there" you grinned hearing a decisive hmpf and a chuckle fro Lauren before Tee spoke up again. "Alright smart ass" she said grumbling "I take that as a compliment~" You and Freya eyed one another giggling both knowing Tee was gonna pout. "Okay well it sounds like you have a plan could you text me the directions so we and text them to the others." Freya nodded and confirmed saying she'd text them over "Its better actually we still need to walk the woods and find exact locations...We panicked and had to book anywhere we could after the covid shenanigans.. But we trust you girls you seem to know where your going~" you quickly thanked Lauren and she hung up giving Freya the time to text over the directions so everyone could be informed of the new plans.

Thanks to your short cut you and a few others managed to be home within 45 mineuts as apposed to the trucks and busses that were still another hour and twenty mineuts away others had also figured out the new work around. Much to your surprise Henry and Kal were also here managing to wrangle themselves into one of the small people carriers with Joey to practice lines. Currently you were walking through the woods near camp with Tomasz and Lauren looking for locations to shoot. You didn't really need to accompany them but after sitting in traffic for so long you all needed to stretch your legs. Freya had stayed behind with kal and Tee finding themselves a spot on a blanket under a huge tree just relaxing enjoying the soft breeze. It was the calm before the storm, the few days of relaxing and slowly throwing your base camp together before jumping right back into the hectic filming schedule. You walked along the trails completely at ease eyes roaming the familiar woods you were home. Not that you live in the woods but..You lived across from them literally you parents house was just over the field, across from the main entrance and base that was currently being set up on the small worn dirt car park enough to just squeeze everything in to. Although this wood was close to Hawley wood it wasn't apart of it. This was a private working woodland with hacking paths and logging areas. You looked down scanning the area out of habit, you did it automatically drilled into you from exploring and playing in these woods. You saw it, your trained eyes locking on the slim body and quickly without hesitating yanked Joey towards you causing him to yelp as you pulled him off his footing. The others stopped looking at you as Joey began creating a fuss. You pointed down to wear he nearly placed his foot. Joey had nearly stood on a fucking snake an adder to be more precise. "There's a fucking snake Joey?!" Suddenly there were 'manly' screams as Joey bolted around you away from the snake coiled on the floor by his foot. He was hysterical freaking out with frantic twitches with every brush of twigs and grass. "Joey its okay see he hasn't moved..He isn't bothered he wont bite you...He would have had you stepped on him" You noticed everyone suddenly paying close attention Henry came closer looking in awe fascinated. He went to pick up a stick making to poke it but you stopped him. "No Henry! Fuck no! That’s an adder..." he looked at as if to say and?...Oh yeah most people don’t know. You sighed motioning to it. "Venemous Henry...Their Venemous you do not want to be bit by it...Fucking nasty Levi got bit once painful business" you moved ushering everyone on before the snake got to aggravated you knew how fast they can move you were all in striking distance. As you moved across the trail everyone now seemed to watch the ground carefully as you walked through the sparse area before reaching camp. "But seriously a fucking snake!? I didn't think we had them over here!?" Joey said clutching at your arm eyeing the floor still twitchy you linked arms with the panicked man who looking around warily eyeing the sticks treading carefully. "Yes we do, a couple actually some grass snakes, smooth snakes worst are the Adders...Its rare to see them in all honesty Adders especially they are the only venomous snake in this country not life threatening though" You almost laughed as the others stuck close to you each making sure you were still eyeing the track.

"How'd you spot it anyway?" You shrugged at him as you continued this particular path was a large c and you were close to the carpark by now. "I grew up here you learn to keep your eyes peeled...A little advice though they coil up in sun spots, so the clearer the canopy the more likely they are there, flat surfaces to he was just sunning himself...Just watch your feet and you'll be fine...They leave around October to, gets to cold" you tried easing the frightened man he nodded and relaxed his hold before trying to laugh it all off with some typical Joey-esque bravado and Jaskier worthy scoffing. "What else should I worry about Tinks? foxes? Wasps!" You shook your head laughing at him cutely patting his arm breaking away making him quickly clutch at you again. "Haha no foxes are skittish round here...But we do have a few vespa hornets...And badgers...Badgers are worse... Don't go poking around any borrows" you smiled smugly and slipped from Joey's hold properly he whined looking around still jumpy from the snake incident. "Fucking wait a minute what do i worry about more the hornets or badgers?" You hummed and weighed up the time. The vespa hornets are scary as fuck buzzing around you and they are few and far between you just brought them up to make him squirm...What can you say today you were just in that type of mood, besides your and Joeys whole friendship was annoying one another with banter. But you loved each other when it came down to it. You tapped your chin making the man wait with baited breath. Aw bless he looked so uncomfortable. "Badgers, I was pissing about with the hornets they haven't been spotted for a few years" you said finally putting Joey out of his misery. "Really...Badgers aren't they like tiny...The size of a house cat?" You smiled turning to face him shaking your head. "Wait a minuet you've never seen a badger? Like ever?" You asked completely struck with the fact he might never have seen an animal that to you is common, there is a burrow near your shed for christ sake!. "Nope...Never but really they can't be that bad" he said you gaped at him.Well I'll be damned. Never seen one, you were gonna fix that! "Joey hun they are bigger than a cat like neary a meter long and chubby big claws" he gulped looking around even more wary making you burst out laughing. "Joey, they are knocturnal you wont see a badger...Or a fox the most you'll see is squirrels, rabbits maybe some snakes or slow worms-which look like baby bronze snakes but are harmless nothing to deadly I assure you" he seemed to calm down at that.

Once back at set you watched Lauren and Tomasz frustrated talking with each other trying to pick out spots for filming, they were under strain trying to find the perfect locations. But they seemed underwhelmed with the area ,You heard the word ritual and magic. You could see they were getting frustrated. Trying to think you snapped your fingers the gate! "You wanted a magical type place for filming?" You asked incredulous they nodded to you hoping you could pull another win out of the bag today "Wish you'd just said! I thought you were looking for some trail for Geralt to walk or something!...Follow me! I know a spot it's one of those things if you don't know about it you wont find it" You marched off slipping off the trail leaving no room for thought. Henry was the first to shrug following followed by Lauren and Tomasz. Joey had stayed behind this time wandering over to Freya Tee and Kal not willing to risk another snake encounter. Henry eyed your back as you walked on through the scrub leading once again Knowing exactly where you were off to for the second time today. He followed behind the two directors calling out to you as you lead them seemingly deeper into the woods. "Tinks are you sure we should leave the trail!?" You waved Henry off making him heave a sigh.

"Trust me! I know my way around these part this is home turf!" Was what you called out over you shoulder as you marched on wards, you continued leading them deeper into the woods away from the main trails ten minuets later you stopped looking down a steep bank, the ground broke of suddenly into a six foot drop a small clear trickling stream as the base you smiled...It was still standing. "Here this is it!! I used to play here as a kid I almost forgot it was here! It was only when you said magic I remembered" You quickly launched yourself down the bank that had seemed much higher as a kid. It looked much older now the over hanging roots now thick and looping out and in the dirt towards the old structure below. It was a stone moon gate on a flat pebbled bank that peeked out of the tiny stream that bended around it making the structure have a small five to six inch deep moat. A few larger trees had fallen but it actually did a favour opening up the canopy of trees letting larger streams of light frame the scene. Tomasz and Lauren smiled quickly speaking amongst themselves about how they could make this work as 'Geralt’s camp' and the small ritual Yennefer was going to do.

You walked over to the lightly Aged stone smiling remembering all the times you played here as a kid. You were glad it was still standing. "You know I broke my wrist trying to climb this as a kid... Didn't even notice to much thought I sprained it...Mum went mental when I got home and she realized Id been playing on it for hours despite it being black and blue the size of a grapefruit...knocked me out of competition for a while to...I was always down here best place to find tadpoles!" You muttered as Henry crept up behind you smiling you turned eyeing him cautiously and quickly flicked your gaze to the stone again and pointed to one at the top. "That’s the bugger I slipped on! Everything seemed much taller then" he followed your gaze and sighed, it must have been something being raised around here. "Well I doubt there’s much difference now~" he smiled poking playfully at your height as he stood tall. Henry moved to the side eyeing the large stone circle. You whined at him giving a sweet pout before huffing stepping towards the small stream. Henry did a slow walk of the little make shift island in the stream taking in the tall aged trees, the canopy of leaves was high so the equipment would get in here fine without causing much damage...And the bank gives a good overview of the area. He turned one slow sweeping motion eyes landing on you who had tucked down letting your hands dip into the shallow water you sunk them to your wrists letting the cool water wash over them you sighed happily. It was good to be back home. To Henry you were a vision, the light hitting the water lighting up your face as you closed your eyes and smiled taking a deep breath just enjoying the moment. You were sexy and stunning, cute all in one you just seemed so? "Perfect" you looked back up to him shyly his soft eyes were glowing in the fractured light reflecting off the water. You swallowed unable to stop your staring the man was sunning his face was relaxed a small lopsided smile across the perfect jaw he licked his bottom lip and smiled wider, he was always happy to capture your attention. "I think its perfect here to!...The gate isn't that old though...Only like twenty odd years...Which does us a favor Brian had it put in when his daughter was at university studying photography and cinematography... She used it for her final project-" Henry shook his head with a chuckle You'd missed his point. He crouched down beside you angling himself to face you holding eye contact then slowly moved caressing your face lightly tucking the short lilac strands behind you ear in a sweet gesture. You gasped unable to hold eye contact for long looking down to you hands in the water trying not to squeak at him being so close. Yet so far? It was bittersweet. The object of your fantasies. Man of your dreams was right here. In touching distance constantly flirting and making almost romantic gestures. Yet he was still out of your reach. Out of your league. Your face dropped and you faltered.

There you go again. Something crossed your eyes making you pull back. Nerves? doubt? Unease? Henry couldn't tell but he really wished he could stop it. Wished you'd stop getting yourself down. Its like when you acted but instead of a mask it almost felt like a wall. You slammed up a guard between you and he wanted nothing more then to tear it down. To comfort and reassure you, but it was hard to try and reassure you when he didn't know what was wrong. 'Maybe now's the time?....Yes! That’s it right come on superman pull some courage out of your ass...Tinks go out with me....No no that's not-your not giving her a choice she'd say no just to be stubborn...Right...Tinks I'd be honored if you'd accompany me on a date....What the fuck? Honored,accompanied? What is this a fucking marriage proposal?...Well not yet-WHAT THE FUCK HENRY? YOUR NOT EVEN DATING HER YET!! Right okay okay new plane ,new plan ask her out or?...Or just tell her you like her bingo ask her out and if you fail tell her you like her!..I mean fuck sake. AcOmPaNy Me On A dAtE. It wasn't a question either...Come on henners...WHY THE FUCK IS THIS SO DIFFICULT!? its never been this difficult...So that means she's the one right?-So I cant afford to screw up!...No pressure then...Right just say Tink's would you like to go out with me?...Yes that’s it straight to the point....Would you go out with me? Would you go out with me? Right okay...Okay deep breath here we go' After Henry hyped himself up plans A and B all ready to go. Oh god. He moved his hands into the water it was a tactical move. His palms were sweaty. He took a deep breath watching his own hand dip into the cold stream sighing contentedly 'yes right now just ask....Ask her out...Move your lips say Tinks would you go out with me?...That's all you need to say! FUCK SAKE SAY IT! ASK HER?...Hold her hand first' He moved his hand through the water before stopping and wrapping his hand around yours, then brought the other to hold it to. Enveloping your hand with his own making your breath hitch you went to ask what he was doing but froze getting trapped in his eyes.

He was staring intently almost like when you first met him but there was something deeper like he wanted to get something out. It looked almost painful was he worried?

"H-henry? Are you okay? Do-don't you like this place? Do you think it wont work?" You asked panicking it was clear you were already trying to think of other places and little groves the wood has.

"No! No it's I....This place is perfect but...It's just that...That’s not quite what I meant~ I wasn't talking about ah... I was talking about...Well" you froze cheeks tinting pink as you cottoned on as he continued staring at you...That he had he been talking about you... He smirked feeling more confident watching as you became all shy realization crossing your face. You quickly looked down to the crystal clear water suddenly finding the colored stones that made up the stream bad interesting. You occupied yourself by curling your fingers in his hand gripping him as he squeezed it lightly reassuringly. It was more for him to reaffirm his resolve. You were here alone now. Time to do this go Henry go!

"You-your so beautiful do you know that?" You smiled and chuckled at him waving your free hand to him⁸ nervously voice getting caught in your throat. 'Oh my god? Is this really happening!? Shit girl he is looking right at you,lovingly? IS THIS CLASSED AS ROMANTIC!? OH MY GOD IT FUCKING FEELS LIKE IT....Fuck fuck okay don’t scream...Don't scream or panic...Not to be one to toot my own horn but he is lost in your gaze like one of those fucking mills and boom romances...Was he meaning to look at you like that? All sweet and endearing...But no! Stop it!...It will never happen your just letting the others get to you...But then why is he saying this? If he didn't mean it? He doesn't seem the type to say things for no reason...But oh fuck wouldn't that be something?...This gorgeous sweet man thinking you were beautiful....But no, you can't afford to fall for it no matter how tempting' you swallowed looking away from him trying to distance yourself. This was a fantasy! He will never be yours. He was... Entertaining himself is all. You took a breath looking at him trying to slowly pry your hand from his but he wouldn't allow it, he was frowning at you lightly. "H-henry you don't..Don't have to...Mathew isn't here you don't have to say stuff like that...Don’t have to protect me from him" you muttered the words quietly unsure if you really wanted to hear his reply. A part of you liked to pretend that he was interested, that he could like you and he wasn't just doing all this out of some strange misplaced feeling of responsibility. You held your breath waiting for him to confirm that that was all it was. He felt responsible for you. He shook his head releasing a deep breath before speaking and even serious tone. "Tinks would you...Fuck okay no...Right. Tink's. Would you like to..." Henry turned his head squeezing his eyes shut and cursed angrily. You frowned at him he looked annoyed and upset. You knew it! You fucking knew it! It was just him taking responsibility for you! He was just being kind...To kind to even let you down easy. Your chest clenched horribly tight and your wind wipe constricted pulling in the most awful of ways. You felt so stupid for ever building your hopes . Of course he didn't really like you....This was Henry Cavill the incredibly handsome actor who'd never have looked twice at you if you hadn't been working along side him. You felt crushed and looked away as tears gathering in your eyes. You were so pathetic a silly little virgin with big ambitions. Maybe Mathew was a safer bet. You tried to slip away from him but he wouldn't let you instead of releasing your hand he moved circling your wrist in a firm grip.

Henry swore under his breath.What the fuck just happened? One moment he had stammered out half of his admission, began to literally ask you out. Then the next you were all but falling to pieces in front of him trying to run off. How? Why?...No he'd fucked up along the way and he couldn't figure out how he'd shot himself in the foot this time. He held your wrist in on hand the other firmly interning  hi fingers with your despite you trying to wriggle away. "Whoa there-hey Tink's?....Whats the matter love?..Y/n could you look at me...Please love?" He asked softly tip toeing forward trying to inch closer but not fall ass first into the water, he settled knocking knees with you. Slowly you sniffled and put on a smile it was clear to see it was a forced one it didn't reach you eyes. He winced seeing the beautiful emeralds clouded by tears. His guts churned he had done that. He didn't like it. "Hey there gorgeous~ what's gotten you so upset?...Look love I was trying to say...That I-I know that I don't have to but I want to...I love complimenting you. You deserve to be told how incredibly beautiful you are" you frowned at him what? But that doesn't make any sense? You tilted your face slightly turning to him trying to conceal your unshed tears not wanting him to think your pathetic. It was a pointless endeavor he was looking right at you holding eye contact he could see them alright there was no denying that. But strangely it was his cheeks that were pink for once and with a lopsided uneasy smile on his face he looked like a little boy trying to dig himself out of a very big hole. He continued stuttering slightly stumbling over his words trying to find the right ones. "I...A-and I was trying to find the words..pfft still am...I-It's just that I'm finding this....Hard? harder then usual for some reason...I just really really wanted to tell you that I...I was serious the other day Tinks, about a possible relationship" His brow was twitching worriedly a he spoke and he still seemed completely out of his depth but he carried on clearing his throat. "I...Y/n I meant every word. I? I'm not just doing these things to protect you from that little prick...hehe That's just a bonus.. I just wish you knew what you did to me...I-Fuck me come on Henry!...I really like you Tinks..Like like" he finished with a small chuckle and sagged his shoulders in relief so glad to have that off his chest he didn't even notice you freezing holding your breath even.

You just gaped at him in that moment everything stopped. 'What? but how? Why? That was why he...It wasn't because he didn't like you? He was nervous and couldn't find the words because he did?...OOOHHH SHIIITT HE WAS FUCKING WHAT?? HE WAS-NO NO no calm...That’s it breath and think...he liked you, he liked you!. He was serious....babe he was MOTHER FUCKING SERIOUS LIKE WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON? WHERE AM I? WHO AM I?... He meant it, he meant it this is just...wow Henry has meant all these things holy fuck...Oh my god, now that really does change things.GET IN THERE GIRL YOU CLAIM YOUR HONEY BUN!! Hehe more like Claim your sexy bun's...No...No not yet fuck play it cool shit your freaking out and he can see it! Stop it...ouch why do my lungs hurt? Oh I'm holding my breath yep that'd do it now breath...Any time now one big gulp of air should do it....Oh for the love of god! Breath it's not that hard! Just-just calm down and fucking breath!!...Oh fuck he is serious you weren't going crazy!!...Henry Cavill...Want's you? Like holy shit mind blown...Now how do we go about it? How do you start The dating process? Shit this would be so much easier of he didn't still take your breath away!' Henry cleared his throat nodding to himself a reassuring smile on his face and stood taking you with him you were having a meltdown that was clear so there wasn't much you could do. You were to lost in your own thoughts to fight him as he stood with you pulling you closer. He seemed pleased to have gotten that off his chest. He moved holding your hand by your fingers curling them until your hand was held firmly in a princess hold your hand trembled ever so slightly, palm growing sweaty...You hope he didn't notice as he pulled your now cool hand to his face placing another sweet kiss to the back of it snapping you out of your little tizzy finally he pulled away with a wink and grin now seeing you were back from where ever you'd gone to. "I love it when you zone out and glow like that, face all cute and red it normally means I'm doing something right~" you stuttered at him as he spoke in a low easing tone. How he can go from nervous and stuttering to cheeky and confident in seconds always caught you off guard. The man was blessed in so many ways...To many if you were honest.

It was after that a silence fell over you both as you stole glances each other. You shivered meeting his increasingly nervous gaze. Shit this was getting awkward real quick. You shuffled around each other daring the other to ask. Willing for one another to ask the all important question. Do you want have dinner with me?. That's all a simple question. The air felt fragile, neither of you wanted to speak nervous and quivering. Your eyes roamed him questioning. Should you? Was he waiting for you to ask? Or was it to early?  Was he just letting you know?

Henry bit his lip. He was freaking out he had hoped his last comment had lightened the mood and it had, but you were still frozen blushing unsure where to put your face he began panicking. 'Shit. It was to much to soon. Was it? Were you not interested? Did he fuck this up...Fuck sake Henry you just had to be an eager beaver and now you've cocked up royally...Quick change the subject or-or ask...Ask her out dammit don't let this chance pass you by!!' He grunted and took a small step towards you grasping your hand again running his thumb over the back of it. But in the end it was fruitless just as you peeked up at him Lauren had called down to you both. You twisted your head nodding and moved walking over to the bank, but you didn't let got of Henry's hand, instead you interlocked your fingers squeezing trying to get across just how you felt in the tiny gesture. If you didn't have the courage to say anything you could at least try to show it? Lauren and Tomasz began speaking as you and Henry sauntered back to them looking up. Tomaz smiled knowingly at the interlocked hands but chose to say nothing. Instead he rose an eyebrow as you both had pink tinted cheeks. Henry was grinning like a Cheshire cat you were holding his hand! You held onto him and you wasn't letting go! So it meant you were interested, you were just to shy to ask him out. But what did he expect? He'd just sprung it on you- did he really think a shy inexperienced gorgeous young woman who was a self confessed fan was going to ask him out? What a dick!? Well at least he realized his mistake even if it was to late...There was always tomorrow. "Its time to head back it's six already!" Lauren said she was right the sun would be setting soon ,not that it was a problem but after today you all just wanted to sleep. Henry moved pulling you towards the bank releasing you holding out his arms out ready to catch you as you began climbing up the bank. Once you were up and away from the edge he moved hoisting himself up.

The trip back to the base camp was fairly quiet. Henry had fallen instep beside you capturing your hand in his again making you smile as he rubbed his thumb absentmindedly over it. You grinned and swooned inside 'HOLY SHIT TODAY HAS BEEN ONE HELL OF A DAY....And oh my fuck He is holding your hand!...Like fuck me! This is insane Henry cavill-superman, Geralt Is holding your mother fucking hand after confessing he likes you in the woods.....And its not a scene THIS WAS REAL FUCKING LIFE AAAAHHHH!!...He is just- Fucking hell! This is just to surreal! And his hand is so big and warm and strong...His fingers are so fucking thick and ugh! God I wonder what they'd feel like if he was to-NO! NO THE SNEK INCIDENT WAS ENOUGH FOR ONE DAY YOU RANDY LITTLE PRAT.... Y/N DON'T YOU FUCKING GO THERE!...But gurl two finger would be the sizze of your mini rabbit...Now there was a though~...Like you had no qualms of him getting a little freaky...Or a lot you'd fucking die on the spot! UGH SHIT YOU FUCKING WENT THERE!!' You tilted your head looking at him again he gave a shy smile as he followed the others in the direction of camp. You and Henry both walked side by side fidgiting both unable to say anything. There was many things to be said but you were both to nervous...And for the first time you both sort of clicked thatthe other was nervous Henry couldn't stand it much longer so spoke up clearing his throat. "H-ahem...How'd you know about the snakes and moon gate?" you smiled quickly jumping to answer his question thankfull he had broke the silence. "Well I grew up here...Once at the set if you look across the road theres the cottage just over the field, with the blue windows? Thats my parents house." You explained  Henry nodded he had seen it when they pulled into the carpark earlier he smiled brightly. And twisted his body useing his interlocked fingers to usher you before him through the slim pating in the younger thick trees. You smiled blushing as his hand skimmed your ass face flaming. 'Did he do that on purpose? Was he trying to feel your ass and mor importantly...Did he like it? Was it to small? To big?OH MY GOD DID IT WRIGGLE AS YOU WALKED!!??' It used to be a pert little ass with all your training and shit but since you'd stopped competing it had gotten a little chubby... Youwwre pulled from your thoughts "The chocolatebox house?" He asked moving his other hand pushing some of the lower branches out of the way as to walked up the hill to the trail that you'd been on earlier. "That’s the one! Born and raised in that house" you explained eyeing him casually he rose his eyebrows looking a little shocked then let out a chuckle under his  breath. "Wow I knew you said we were going to your home but is didn't think we'd be that close, so I suppose we will be meeting your parents then? I can imagine your mummwantingnto come and visit...shes missed you"  henry moved slower not wanting this to end he wanted to drag this out because as soon as you reached the trailers youd both part ways. "Uhuh...Probably at some point she's gonna sneak over. Not today though I texted Mum that we were here late because of traffic so she said to pop by tomorrow to see her, she can't wait for a proper catch up..But dad is on a fishing trip so wont be back for a few days still he has been itching to get out on the lakes again he had to give it up over lockdown he really found it hard" henry nodded he could understand that the lockdown had been tough on everyone. "I bet he is making up for lost time...I didnt understand why they stopped fishing? I mean arnet ou normally alone and far apart do you dont tangle lines or so,thing you looked down with a grim look. "He is trying to, poor sod hasnt cuahgt anyhing in this heat" you explained with a giggle it was just his luck that when he finally got out for a few days the fish wouldn't bite, you could only imagine how irritated the man must be. "But as I was saying these are pretty much my woods in all but name...my brothers and I grew up playing in it I can navigate it with my eyes closed!" You gloated twisting swinging your intwined hands lightly he tipped his head back looking to the trees "Oh really you'll have join me and Kal on a walk sometime? Give us a tour?" You faltered then smiled shyly nodding that sounded fun. "Alright then it'd be nice...There are some hour long walks I wouldn't let Kal off though at this time of year, not with the snakes around I'd hate to see him bit" you offered out casually as you both crept up on the set lights seemingly moving slower but once you were both out of the woods you smiled shyly. Before both releasing hands slowly like a couple of  crushing school children and went your own ways. You were both clear with one another...Weren't you? 'Oh fuck! I didn't reply!? Fuck fuck what if he thought you wasn't interested? That he took your silence as refusal!! OH MY GOD NO NO NO PLEASE GOD NO!' You turned suddenly to him taking a step towards him as he walked away, swallowing curseing yourself for being so shy. Once again you'd held yourself back from what you truley wanted.No! No more, you'd over come this shit for him. He was worth the risk, worth the fear. "Henry! Wait a moment can I just?" He stopped frowning and stood still you jogged the last few steps to him body shaking like a leaf as you aproached him, he stood frim shoulder trembling with his own nerves. You finally made stood befor him gulping watching him with panicked wide eyes. Was he expecting the worse? "I er...Its probably obvious but...I sort of...Kind of...Well fuck it...Ireallylikeyouto" you muttered out your admission and with a rush of forced adrenaline you quickly surged forward darted up onto your tip toes one hand placed on his bicep the other on his chest keeping your balance and just li,ethat your lips connected with his jaw leaving a quick chaste kiss his light scruff...You were aiming for his cheek but the man was huge and your short ass only managed to place a kiss to the side of his mouth. You stood back twisting your hands back into your own top nervously, already regretting kissing the man for many reaons. One of which being now you'd had his skin below your lips you knew no one and nothing will ever compare and second...He was just standing there shocked wide eyed and a flush crept up his face before splitting into a painfully wide grin his eyes despite shocked were twinkling with an almost childish glee. You placed your hands on your own burning cheeks and quickly spun on your heels and all but ran in the opposite direction not stopping to see his face. It wasn't until you'd shut yourself in the trailer you peeked out of the porthole window on the door he had moved, was walking to his own trailer with a spring in his step...He was almost skipping.

You sat down on the floor on the trailer feet down the entrance steps holding a hand to your chest feeling therabbit li,e heart beat leesa thumping morea hum from how frantic it was pumping...It'd be justyour luck the haveaheat attack now you gulped and began laughing smoothing your hands through your hair. 'Holyfuck...I just...I just kissed him!I JUST FUCKING KISSED HIM ALMOST ON THE MOUTH!! AND AND SHIT!...Fuck thatwas just so- his scuff was amazing and and hedidnt thrlwme off him?! He let me he was happy and and...OH MY GOD OH MY GOD HE DIDNT EVEN FLINCH... AND AND I KISSED HIM!' you flopped back to lay on the cool lamented floor arms stretched wide laughing and squeeling kicking your legs on the steps you couldn't contain your fangirl! You were blown away. 'I kissed him...And he accepted it...He smiled and was fucking skipping! And he scruff on my nose and cheek UGH~ FUCK YES BEARD BURN? PLEASE DADDY!' You rolled from side to side squealing still far to excited to even think of getting up and moving. It wasn't long before yourveiw ofthe ceiling wasblurred by tiny tears. You sniffled still laughing whilst wiping away atthe tears that trickled free from your eyes, tears of relief and joy. A life time's worth of silly worries releasing when the reality settled in. You were enough for someone? Pretty enough to be liked? Good enough for someone and of all the people he liked you...Henry Cavill liked you back!...Just having someone admit that they liked you would have meant the world to you, let alone someone you looked upto and were crushing on. It was silly but you always felt there was something wrong with you to get this far in life without having a boyfreind or a lover. Fuck all your freinds were married with kids and you were just left on the shelf so to speak. You knew it was mostly due to your brothers but after they left for the armed servicees a girl couldnt help wonder why no one looked her way?...Start to question yourself, your worth. And for the first time thats what you felt worthy and dareyou say desired.

Later on Joey was in Henry's trailer watching the man pacing back and forth in a mess once again. It was deja vu. But this time Freya was here to witness the mental breakdown...Was it a break down sure the man looked worried but also ecstatic! It was a weird combination tosee. Henry was trying to explain bless him but he was cutting himself off with tonnes of mumbled what if's and maybe's. Basically the man was over thinking. "Soo...You want to tell us whats got you so frazzled or what??" He asked but Henry stopped facing the two sat at the table shook his head making one more legnth of the bus and finally stopped paceing and sliced his hands through the air. "I err ...Well...She kissed me...." Headmittd slapping his hips as he lowered his hands to his sides. Joey through his head back scoffing shaking hksheadin disbelief. "Bollocks" Henry sighed ans stopped before the smaller man arms out at his sides palms up shrugging trying to get across he was being deadly serious. "No no seriously Joey...Listen she fucking kissed me!" Henry explained ruffling his own hair as iffinding it hard to be.ive himself... "Fuck off you want me to belive our tiny shy little Tinkerbell just waltzed right up to you and snogged you?" Joey through out in to the trailer letting the words linger. Henry nodded to him then looked to Freya who had been quiet. "There must be more to it then that?" She added wanting to here the whole story behind this one. "When we were in the woods things were great! Then bad then catastrophically bad; Which I'm still confused by how that happened? But the then I clawed it back, climbed out of a hole in put myself in somehow? Still not sure how and once we got back here she kissed me! Likei waswalking back to my trailer and she just called me running uptomesaid he liked me and beforeIcould doanything she kissed me..." freya and Joeylookedateach other quietly beforesquealing and bouncing on the spot clapping each others hands a s they did so. "OH MY GOD! Henry thats great! Was it on the lips? Did you smooh back?....Oh no...No no no what's with that face? For god sake tell me you put some sugar on her and snogged her back!?" Henry sighedrubbing the backof his neck as Freyas excitement drained from her words. She slammed her hands on the tableas joey head butted it grkaning shaking his head. "Henry please pleeeaaasssee tel, me you didnt throwher off!?" He added whining pitifully tAnd rose to face the now twitching darkhaired man. Henry sucked threw his teeth and took the joy with it. "Okay right, she was fast and I wasn't expecting it and I just froze!" They both deflated groaning smoothing their hair out of their faces. "No! No no no Henry nooo you don't- you didn't do that?! Henry please tell me you didn't?!" Joey brust out throwing his hands up in theair as freya shook her head just as exasperated as Joey. Henry held up his hands as if calming a wild beast. "Hang on! Hang on I started the whole thing! Okay just bear with me okay its a long story...I tried to ask her out...It seemed perfect okay? We were there by the little stream...Just me and her okay? Lauren and Tomasz were on the six foot ledge eyeing the setting...and wewereat the moon gate shewas letting the water cool her hands and i just...It seemed perfect" Freya nodded to him it did sound perfect and romantic, she tried not to swoon.

"I...er choked , I couldnt ask her out it...My nerves got the best of me...And she got upset, she looked like she was going to cry...I didnt understand and i just- i quickly calmed her down and admitted my feelings...she didnt say anything back though...I thoughs i'd ballsed it up but then she held my hand and wouldnt let go as we came back.." they both listened carfully to henrys as he explained it took a few moments for them to really take in al, he'd said but once it clicked they looked to each other and grinned Joey spoke fisrt. "Soo? You took our dear little Tink's out into the woods with and admitted you loved her? And then walked back hand in hand?" "And then when you got back she kissed you, but you like a prat didnt kiss her back?....But seriously was it on the lips?" Freya asked leaning her face on her palm eyeing Henry with a sly grin trying to get the details to relay to Tee and Anya no doubt. "No..No it wasnt I think she was aiming for my lips but she's short...and missed but It counts! And i was there grinning like an idiot when she pulled back but what do you expect! Shes fucking gorgeous and she kissed me! I almost had a heart attack when she did it-OH MY GOD IN A GOOD WAY IN A GOOD WAY!!" Henry explained makingnthe both of them laugh. "Okay and what happened in the bad bit in the middle?" Joey pried wanting to kmow the ins and outs. "I just...I fucked up okay I fucking bottled it! I complimented her and she...She sort of freaked out...W-well not freaked o she was all like you dont need to say that Mathew's not here and then I was like I know but I really like you but I waited to long to say it...Couldnt get the right words and I think she was expecting the worst" Freya leaned forward and shook her head. Henry sat down with a huff petting Kal who'd come over to comfort him. "When I choked...I panicked and Instead of asking her out I just said I was serious the otherday" he explained to them Joey held a hand up. "Wait wait wait. What other day? what did you say the other day?" He asked confused. Ah yes, Henry hadn't mentioned what happened the otherday. Shit. "I asked about her and Mathew and sort of pointed out he liked her...Well long story short she tried laughing off the idea of me and her ever making a go of it and I sort of..Well I said why not? And she was...She was shocked when I said that I could see us getting together-that I thought we'd be a perfect couple"Henry said stuttering he yeyed Freya and Joey cautiously as they bpth gapped and him Joey dropped his hand slapping the table. "How the fuck did you miss that out!?" Joey exclaimed Freya nodded wonder just when Henry had managed to keep that quite?. The man was so excited about anythingnthat included Tink's he gushed like a schoolgirl. "Well yeah...I err it crossed my mind...It's just...She seemed open to the idea! But then today I-she seemed upset when i couldnt get my act together...do you think I fucked up not Kissing her back? Like she did see that I was happy! So everythings fine right? " Joey eyed Freya asking her to take this one she was the girl, Joey could only guess so much afterall he was a man. Freya hummed she  could see Henry was really out of it this time he was so flustered. Freya looked on as he ran a hand through his hair he was at a loss. "Well, from where I'm sitting you made it clear you liked her and she held your hand and had a wonderful walk through the forest...Which is pretty romantic~ and she kissed you admitting she liked you back so I'd call that a win Henry, so what if you didn't get an official date but a walk in the woods counts!" She said cheering him up Henry noodded slowly a bright smile creeping across his face. Freya smiled to Joey and winked. Oh yes she was good at this, her and Joey were the fucking dream team!! "I hadn't thought of it like that..It was romantic overall and we both spoke more on the way back and he nabbed another walk in the woods which could be classed as a date? If you squinted." Joey slapped henry on the back smileing like a maniac. "Thats the spirit! You go get her tiger~" he said all three chuckled for a few breaths henry bit his lip looking down then quickly turned to Freya as she began speaking. "Yeah and for the record Henry...Tink's and I were speaking in the car today and she well just...Shes worried of reading the signals wrong...The woman is in love with you we can all see it! She's just shy and doesnt know how to go about it...I'm sure she wanted to ask you out but just couldnt!" "Exatly just like Freya says you are both as bad as each other~but she must really really like you if sheovercome her own shyness to kiss you...Just try to kiss her back next time...Or even instigate it yourself girls like a man who take charge just walk up to her look her in the eyes and give her a big old smooch! "Oh in front of Mathew!" Freya spoke upand Joey hi fived her agreeing gasping to Henry who was laughing out loud already. "YES! Snog her infront of Mathew!...Or like make out! Go the whole hog" joey added making henry roar up slapping his knee imagineig Mathews face when he first kissed Tink's in frontnof him...With any luck he wont have to wait long.

After an almost full night of fangirling the next morning after breakfast you found yourself outside in the shade sat on a soft blankets. You'd all sprawled out under the large tree on the edge of the woods trying to escape the heat, it was nine in the morning and the temperature was already twenty eight degrees. You huffed waiting untill ten to coss over to see your mum. Anya ,Freya and Joey all laid around on the blankets relaxing on your phones or in your case reading the new scripts you were handed this morning.The silence was broken by a high whine and Joey flopped back and huffed. "Its so fucking muggy! I feel gross already!" He cried out you all nodded grumbling but then after a few moments you spoke up. "Its not to bad today" you added eyeing Joey who scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Well its alright for some! you can go home and have a proper shower!" Anya nodded groaning along with Freya muttering somthing along the lines of a decent shower with proper water pressure. You could relate washing hair in these fucking trailer showers were a pain you thought yourself lucky to have short hair, fuck rinsing the long locks the girls had. "Look I'm just gonna pop to mums now...If you want to borrow the shower I don't think she'll mind Joey" you offered up, Joey rolled over to his front eyeing you cautiously as you unlocked your phone checking the time nine thirty five, she wouldn't mind if you went over early would she? You didnt think so...Not if you brought Joey, she loves Jaskier! "Really? She'd let me do that?" He asked grabbing the attention of everyone. You shrugged to him standing brushing yourself off. "Well yeah can't think of a reason she wouldn't,between me and you when she watched the first season she had a little soft spot for you so I'm sure if you asked nicely she would do anything for you she thinks your super sweet and adorable...She may demand a hug though" Joey got up locking his phone. "Really what about me?" You jumped and did a ridiculous side step as Henry crept up behind you out of nowhere. You flushed a bright red and giggled nervously...He smiled waitin for his answer and you swallowed quickly scrabbling for words..Preferably english and somehing that makes sense. "I-i  Err well she erm..She feels the same as the rest of the witcher fandom does" whew! 'Good girl you pulled thag out of your ass...Were things gonna be akward between you?.. it didnt feel akward... did it? Maybe no-No it wanst you were just skittish is all!' Henry shifted on his feet crossingnhis arms overnhis chest raisingnhis brow. Damn his beautiful biceps drawingnyou in like a moth to a flame. Your mouth became dry despite wantjngnto drool over him. He was dressed in his costume going fpr an small shoot nothing much just some horse whispeing scenes. "Oh?~ And whats that then?" You could have cursed him, didnt he know how hot he looked? How was you supposed to fucking concentrate when he was out here like a fucking witcher sized lickable snack...Damn you were thirsty more so now that you'd gotten away with kissing him last night. The temptation was just to great.'Be cool be cool be fucking cool!!! Nothing has changed, he is still the amazingly handsome fuckable snack he has always been....and He is your friendly neighborhood crush?? WHO FUCKING LIKES YOU BACK OH MY GOD?!?! HE ISN'T AVOIDING YOU!! YES YES YES GO GIRL WOOO YOU DIDNT FUCK UP!! THINGS WERE OKAY...Right now tone it down and answer the man- calmly like normal be cooool don't think about the kiss...The kiss that you stole...That was definetly the hottest kiss of your life and he didn't even do anything, god his skin was so hot and rugged and NO!...Right right cool as a cucumber-NOPE no long cylindrical objects today thank you very much!!...Well...Maybe later...Never say never~' Henry's lip twitched he could see you were stuck in your own thoughts probably godsmacked he was acting so casually, if only you knew he was loosing his shit inside quivering with the fear of things being awkward....But they didnt seem to be ad for that he was thankful. "Well she thinks th-that Geralt...Needs a good slap for how you treated muggin's here..." you said finally managing a fw breaths to in what you hoped helped you manage an even tone nodding to Joey. He looked away biting the inside of his lip growling softly clenching his fists. "..Fuck." he growled looking mildly concerned, you wiped your sweaty palms on your shorts taking his distraction as a moment to calm yourself and even your breathing you quickly spoke to Joey. "Joey go get your stuff quick and we can go visit mum" he nodded and left in the direction of his trailer. You eye'd henry and he seemed worried? Like he it was important to him that your mum liked him. You placed a hand on his tense bicep squeezing quickly. He looked to you golden eyes lighting up and he place his palm over yours in an attempte to keep it there. You flushed when he stepped forward casually letting your bodies lightly graze one another. You looked to Freya and Anya who were no help watching from the sidelines giggling between themselves, the words cute and adorable being thrown around. "I-if it's any constilation...She loved you as Superman...And man from uncle, she didn't want to watch it with me at first because she didn't like the tv series but in the end she was over the moon and got it on dvd that day incase Netflix ever deleted it...So I'm sure if you wanted a shower she'd let you" He quickly perked up standing taller squeezing your fingers lightly and sighing relaxing the worry on his face melted away. "So she does like me?! Oh good god thats a relief!" you didn't really understand why he'd got upset...It was almost as if he wanted to have impressed her. He looked over your head seein Joey return a small wash bag, towel and a bundle of folded clothes to change into. Henry patted your hand and released you letting you take a step back. "Well I will let you go, tell your mother I'm sorry I couldn't meet her today but I look forward to it soon..I best get back before they send a search party" you smiled cheekily, the look caught him off guard but he tilted his head ready to listen to what ever little comment you were about to make. "Yes Geralt You mustn't keep your little pony waitng~" you stated giggling as he rolled his eyes sighing as everyone laughed. He pointed at you as he walked back wards. "I'm warning you~ one of these days girl~" you thighs clentched and you almost whined. 'Fuck why was that so sexy?...Oh god why is he still teasing you? Is it worse today? It felt worse already!...I wonder if he'd call me that again if I asked...Like Henry that made me wet say it again!...Dont think about girl in the bedroom...dont ou-ah fuck he would definitely call you Iittle girl...and fuck me if he does I'm gonna fucking drench through like omg daddy pu-lease~"  you swear sometimes his whole misson in life is to fucking ruin your undewear and make you squee! You squinted at him as he smirked oh her thought he was getting away with it? Not today! "Oh I'm so scared Big boy, what you gonna do ask your little pony to run me over?" The others oooed as you stepped up for the first time playfully snapping back as the man. Henry faltered tiltjn his head slowly  in what could only be seen as 'Oh?...what was this? Tink's is trying to play?' He grinned devilishy and spoke loud and clear hands on his hips. Your body ceased and you rubbed tyour thighs together subtly as Henry stood tall and  began making more of an anouncement then a bit of banter. "Boy?! why you little?-Just you wait Tinks one day I'll show how much of a big boy I truly am, then you'll be singing a different tune I guarantee it~" he called out you gapped at him shrinking and flushing your tummy clentched and body shuddered as his shouted words carried across the open space of the car park. So much so that even the passing crew had looked over and had a chuckle 'Oh fuck me!? He had to go there HE JUST HAD TO DO IT!! He fucking went there sexy kissable lickable mother fucker...And thats a record-knickers destroyed before brunch...He is getting more efficient WHAT A DICK!.....yes what a dick indded~ How do I even respond to that?...There is no response to I'm gonna fuck you up with my MASSIVE DONG and mad you Sing...It not much of a threat either~FUCK NO DONT THINK ABOUT IT-BUT FUCK YES YOUD LOVE THE CHANCE, RIDE OR DIE BABY! WOO!' You flushed and growled trying to contain your embarrassment but there was no where you could put you face you just had to let this one go you bit your lip and turned away from him as he winked and turned back around...He knew he had won.

Henry 1 Tinks 0 Once Henry was out of sight the others stopped laughing and Anya spoke up first thankfully letting the whole Henry threatening to fuck you silly blow over. unlike Joey who was nudging and winking at you as if you say 'Get in there girl! You go get yourself some lovin~' you slapped at Joey's stomach and pointed at him making him wriggle his brows as Anya spoke. "So what about me? Think I could wrangle a shower?" You opened your mouth to speak but Freya quicklly pitched in. "Yeah me too!" You smiled at Freya and Anya and nodded to them both who grinned wide thankfull that they could finally have a real shower. "Of course you can we have two so one of you might have to wait but I'm sure she'll feed you in the mean time...Go get your stuff..." you all jumped when Joey through his head back with a victory cry! "Feed me? I'm getting a shower and food!? Oh my god your mother sounds like a saint!" He said sounding genuinely excited to get to your house.

It was no longer then ten mineuts before you had all crossed the field and entered the back garden passing the well manicured garden and veggie patch to the kitchen door. You didn't bother to knock instead walked right into the medium sized cottage kitchen. You ushered the other three in through the door and called out for your mum. "Mum!? I'm home!" You heard some mpvement and claws scratchingnon the floor the excited yippjng of Nemi your jums dachsund you crouched and opened your ar,s catching her as she flung herself at you wriggling and crying "Hey there Nemi baby~ oh my love? Look at you you little chunky pudding? how ae you sweety? Such a good girl~" you cuddled her and then placed her back down "Go! go find mummy got get her baby~" true to form she raced off into the house barking he head off. You smoled to the others seeing they had been cooingmover the small dog. Then your mum came through the door and swallowed you up in a hug. "Oh gosh y/n sweety!! Come here let me look at you?!" You flushed as she held you at arms lenght before reaching forward again squishing you tightly to herself. You winced at how tight she held you and tried wrigglin free. "Mum whoa okay...wow I missed you to hey come here let me introduce you...This is Joey, Anya and Freya, Sadly Henry had to go over a few shots and couldnt make it, he feels bad and said he cant wait to meet you" you mum quickly gave them each a hug..Joeys lasting a little longer then the girls, she was biased and couldn't help it. She pulled back and crossed to the kettle ready to make some tea. "Henry?" She called over her shoulder you sighed, you'd tried bot to gush ablut him to much...but she should knlw who he is by now..Especially since youd been crushing on him since forever! "Oh fuck Geralt he plays Geralt mum...The white haired one" she smiled wide nodding finally placing the character. "Oh now I gotcha well im sure I will see him soon. Anyway Its nice to meet all of you~ y/n has told me all about you!" She said you could see she was excited about having these famous people in her house and you couldnt blame her, you were to when you first met them all. It was sweet seeing her all giddy. "Good things we hope mrs l/n" Freya spoke up politely and your mum waved her off rolling her eyes as the young woman. "Oh god none of that call me Terry...Gosh you must be famished! That long trip down here nothing but nasty greasy take away food, and I doubt you ate well last night here sit I will whip somthing up!" She said getting ready to race arou d the kitchen and make some snacks. You stopped her before she became to hurricane you knew and loved. "Actually mum they were hopeing for a shower" you said and all three nodded sheepidhly each adding ther own pleases and 'if its not to much trouble' you mum widened her eyes and nodded. "Oh of course of course, how silly of me! I dread to think what those trailers are like! But ladies first in this house I'm afraid young man" Joey held up his hands and smiled. "That's no problem Terry I can wait" your mum smiled and quickly ushered him to sit down at the table and then started rustling through the cupboards for some biscuits. "Right well he looks safley occupide so we should be safe to leave him you guys follow me we have a bathroom upstairs and down" you said leading them through the kitchen to the hall.

It was ten mineuts later you found your mum in the living room watching Joey munching on a toastie haveing the time of his life with three tiny dachsund puppies? "Oh my god! mum? you didn't tell me Nemi had pups?!" You admonished quickly kneeling down to the floor cooing at them Joey smiled rolling the ball to you and they dutifully chased it yipping the whole time pouncing at one another. "Yes well it wasn't really planned... Harriots boy got her...He was only nine months old so we didn't think nothing of it....Then she got fat and here we are five pups" you stopped looking to her seriously placing a hand to catch the lighter of the three as they climbed up making a rather loud noise begging for attention. "Five but theres only three...Did the others you know?" You quickly glanced down to the pup in your lap tickling its tummy placating them. "Oh goodness no they have gone to their forever homes! The black female is a surprize and we are holding her here untill the little girls birthday at the end of the week and the males family are organizing travel from devon neither can drive they should be collecting him next week if not Euan said he will drop him off they seem like a nice couple recently retired and want a little pup to love and spoil" you smiled feeling better as your mum explained things, atleast they were all going to loving homes. "Aww their so sweet I wish I'd been here to see them born I bet they were so tiny~ is that a dapple?" You were interrupted by a squeal and turned seeing Freya standing at the door fresh in set of clothes looking relaxed. "Holy fuck puppies! Come come! Gimme! Come to aunty Freya! Oh look at that little pudding~ yes awoo to you to baby!" You laughed as Freya moved faster then you'd ever seen her move batting Joey away. "I left it on for you Joey go go! And I will take that!" She said snatching the black and tan pup from Joey and sitting down on the floor cooing and playing with the tiny dog.Your mum got up quickly heading to the kitchen and returned with two plates. "Yes shes a beauty isn't she?" You looked to the dog and smiled agreeing with your mum as she nodded to the colorful dapple puppy in your hands, she definitely was a pale beige grey with a mix of bright coffee and dark grey splotches. You rolled her over to her back tickling her chin and she quickly arched up closing her eyes enjoying the pamper. She would be a spoiled little madam that much was certain~ "I had her throughly checked out at the vets, apparently dapple's are more prone to problems but she is perfectly healthy and called a black tan brindle dapple...Cute huh?...Here you go dear eat up!" You watched as your mum handed Freya a plate with a toastie on it. "Its sweet, cherry pie filling" Freya smiled thanking her and quickly began nibbling it whilst playing with the pups who now licked at the sugar on her fingers. You leaned over the tiny dapple giggleing blowing a little puff of air on her tummy making her jump tilting her face at you yipping playfully trying to bite and paw at your hair. "She really is beautiful and her eyes their so blue...So gorgeous and cute~ get a decent amount for her I suppose" you moved to put her down sighing wishing you'd been here a litter of puppies must have been fun right? Playing with puppies all day? Why couldn't she have had pups in lockdown? "I would but...No shes a gift" your mum sighed watching as the small pup tried to wrangle your attention again. "Oh Really? Like for the fathers family?" Your mother smiled softly and leaned down scopping up the tiny pup, and she was tiny smaller then the other two she was the size of your mums cupped hands, the tiny girl whined softly then was quickly placed back in your lap. You cooed at her again making her jump up trying to give you kisses wriggling her little butt wagging her tail. You giggled leaning down to her as she yipped again then began nipping your nose. Your mum moved in kissing your head. "Happy late birthday sweet heart" you froze looking at her you could hear Freya gasp watching from the other side of the rug. "What? You can't be serious? Mum you can't give me a puppy" you asked but cuddled the tiny pup to your chest wanting to keep her so bad. But you couldn't accept...Could you? I mean Henry had Kal on set so? Doesn't that mean you can have a puppy in your trailer? "Oh I am...You looked after your father and I during that whole lockdown shitshow, sheilding just as carefully as us so you could take him to chemotherapy and do all our shopping and prescriptions...We missed your birthday so we decided this is our thanks...We know she's in good hands and you'll take good care of her...Besides now that your a big time actress you'll need a companion for on the road. Like your friend's doggy cow was it?" You laughed wiping at your eyes tears welling just overwhelmed with the idea of getting to keep the tiny dog. You shook your head at her believing kal was called cow. "Kal mum k-a-l you know...Like superman?" You mum clapped her hands and laughed out loud. "My god that makes more sense! I thought it was cow...Like you know 'Moo'...Your father and I couldn't figure it out~ Any way your puppy is eleven weeks old and vaccinated chipped-all using your details... We got her a bed and collar lead food ect for you to take so once you set off for london you can take her with you! Shes why we didn't tell you about Nemi it was a surprize" you looked down at your new puppy who was howling her little head off throwing a fit over the fact you stopped paying her attention you grinned at her and moved down kissing her little head , she jumped up pawing at your hair pulling and mouthing on it. "Oh I must warn you shes a bit of a singer...Needs to be center of attention and if she isnt she'll let you know about it!" You giggled she reminded you of Joey you smiled holding her up. Freya snorted "Now who does that sound like?~" Freya snorted and you chuckled "Who does what sound like?" You all looked up seeing Anya enter the room and smiled Freya was quick to hold up a puppy "Anya look! Puppies!" Anya grinned and quickly sat down taking one off Freya petting it cooing softly. "Oh my look how cute they are!? They are so tiny~ I need one to snuggle daily!" Freya smiled and nodded to you who was still quite emotional trying to think of a name for your cradled pup. "Well your in luck Terry gave that one to Tinks so we're gonna have one onset! For real to steal and snuggle" Anya smiled so that was what had you choked up. They watched as you looked up a grin on your face and held up your yapping puppy. "Anya here you go a cherry pie toastie~" you mum called out handing the second plate to her, she smiled greatfully and bagen eating face lighting up at the taste. Both women watched as you held your new found baby coddling her and playing completely awe inspired by the size of her. "Joey...Shes my baby joey! My little Jojoba~ my very own bard yesh you are oh thats right! Mummys gonna spoil you rotten yes I am my baby little sausage!" Your mum lifted a small blanket as Freya and Anya laughed out loud moving to put the two dogs back into the playpen still eating their snacks.Poor Joey. He was going to love this.

"Go go show her off but remember she cant go on the floor yet...Not that I imagine your going to put her down" you smiled and turned facing the door and bumped into Joey you grinned at him and held her up to his face as she started 'singing' as she wasn't being snuggled correctly. "Joey meet Joey! The best little singer in town" Joey stuttered and moved to pet the small pup then tilted around her looking at you shocked only just relising what youd said. "What the-is that one yours?" You smiled at him nodding proudly and pulled he rto your chest letting her snuggle in you your boobs rubbing her chin. "Uhuh! Mum gave me one! My Joey!" He smirked watching you fawn over her and chuckled. "Aw he's so cute....Right thats it I accept Tinks we now have a son! Its official I shall teach him-" you snorted and interrupted his dramatic announcement. "Her" he faltered and frowned tilting his head. "What?" he asked not sure he heard you correctly. "She's a girl Joey" you giggled and he shook his head baffled looking between you and the dog. "Then you cant call it Joey...Its a boys name....Call her Josie or Joyce" he offered alternatives which made you cackle this was pay back for the whole tumblr thing...And every other time he's embarrassed you and Henry...Oh yes revenge was sweet~ "Her name is Joey and thats final, you should be happy listen she makes a lot of noise, she sings just like her uncle Joey~ don't you like her singing?" You teased holding he out to him again making him wince at how high pitch the sound was you could hear Anya and Freya laughing at him from behind. "Shes got a set of lungs on her I'll give her that much" he said still wincing and patter her head in a hopes of shutting her up. "Well I think she had a perfect singing voice~ See shes singing for her mummy...Arent you princess oh come here my baby~" you said cradling her again completely in love with her already. "Well she is cute...When she isn't making all that racket" Anya scoffed trying to bite back a laugh and Freya smirked saying outloud what you were all thinking. "pfft could say the same for you...Definitely Joey" you all walked past him making your way outside. Your mum had conveniently packed Joeys puppy pack in a small box for Anya to carry and a slamm princess bed was tucked under Freyas arm...she stopped by Joey and thrust it into his arms. "Come on then you time to earn your keep~" he stuttered but sighed as he soon found himself lugging the box Anya was carrying to. "Joey~" you called trying to get her used to her name as you walked across the field. "Yes Tinks" Anya and Freya shared a look then bellowed a laugh and so it begins. Joey sighed but smiled secretly excited to have a little pup about he was definitely gonna steal her for cuddles.

[axwalker]

Happy Birthday, Maskaneko! A Tears in Heaven one-shot.

The beautiful edit in the moodboard was made by the talented, creative  birthday girl @mskaneko​  💕💕💕

Happy birthday again!!! As I said earlier, I’m so grateful to have you in my life. I hope you’ll spend an amazing day.

I love youuu ❤️❤️❤️ @mskaneko​

You said you’d be happy with a peek into Drake and Lexie’s life in Tears in Heaven.  So here it is. I hope you’ll enjoy it. 🎉🎉🎉

Warnings: Mention of the death of a child, grief. Language and smut. 

It’s been a tough year. Lexie and I have been working hard, and between our demanding jobs and Lennie, we’re exhausted. It’s a miracle we were both able to clear our schedules for a few days to come to Corsica to Max’s and Rashad’s house for a short vacation. We need this much more than we’re able to admit. I miss my time with Lexie. I need more of her. If there is one thing I can admit to myself, it’s that. That there is nothing more fundamental, more important to my happiness, than my wife and my little girl. 

A roar of laughter interrupts my thoughts. I look through the window, and I can’t help but smile at the sight down by the shore. Jaiden is chasing Lena to the edge of the ocean, and every time the water splashes up on her little legs, she squeals and runs back, her face animated with some mix of terror and delight. 

A throaty laugh harmonizes with my squirt’s high-pitched giggles, and Lexie walks into view. Her dark hair is scooped up into a messy bun, and she’s all long, sun-kissed legs and rounded baby-belly in her orange bikini. It will never get old, how my heart thumps a little harder when I see her. Desperate to get to her. I leave the home office and walk barefoot and bare-chested over to the windows and sliding door. Lexie and I wasted too many years and made too many mistakes before we came together again. We both had a lot of growing up to do, a lot of pain to overcome but seeing her with our little girl and Maxwell’s boy chasing the waves, seeing her pregnant again, this good life was worth all the patience in the world. She is worth the wait. I press my palm to the cool glass and let years of memories wash over me, all the painful years spent apart. Being with my family always provides perspective. I might feel exhausted sometimes, but my heart, my life is whole. The axis of my existence it’s those two people down there playing in the ocean like they don’t have a care in the world. Seeing that lifts my burdens, too. And it reminds me that we can’t let life interfere with our lives as a family. Work can’t take so much room in our lives, is not who we are. 

After turning my laptop off, I cross over to the sliding door, slipping out and not bothering with anything other than the blue shorts I’m already wearing. Lexie is laughing as Lena tries to lift Jaiden and they both collapse into the water. I walk toward them, silent until I’m close, and then run past Lexie, playfully slapping her ass. She squeaks, jumping a little, her face lighting up when she sees me. 

“Where’d you come from?” She laughs. I back my way into the cool waves and wink at her as an answer before turning to scoop up both Lena and Jai, one under each arm. “Daddy!” my girl screams in her sweet voice. I keep running until the ocean stirs around my waist and dunk them both to the neck, making sure to keep their heads out of the water. Their giggles and squeaks occupy the next five minutes of what suddenly feels like a perfect day. 

“Uncle Dake,” Jai says. “Put me up on your shoulders.” Lexie takes Helena so I can lift Jaiden. The heels of his little feet kick against my chest, and he squeezes my neck as we go deeper into the water. 

“I can swim, Mom,” Lena says from behind us. “Put me down.” 

Lena’s five, and while she still likes me to toss her around, she doesn’t tolerate it from her smaller mother all that much. I’m not crazy about it either, considering Lexie’s six months pregnant. 

“It’s deeper than you think, Lennie,” Lexie says. “I don’t think it is a good idea.”

Alexis and I went back to therapy when Helena turned three. Slowly, almost without noticing it, we were turning into overprotective, smothering parents. Lexie refused to go anywhere without her, and she’d have horrible panic attacks when her work forced her to travel. Therapy certainly helped a lot, but as much as I would love to say that it was like turning on a switch, that we don’t suffocate Lena anymore, it would be a lie. We would never be those two carefree parents we were ten years ago. But we’re trying; we both want our kids to have the best possible life. 

After begging a little more, Lexie gives in, and sure enough, in seconds, Lennie is swimming past me, her skinny arms and legs slicing through the waves, her hair in two small braids. 

“Baby, that’s fair enough,” I call out. The ocean isn’t turbulent today, but I don’t want to take any chances. It can change fast. Calm one second and treacherous the next. Lena turns, doggy paddling to stay afloat, her cute face wet and frowning. 

“But, Daddy—” 

“Do I repeat myself, Lena?” She frowns the brown eyes so like Lexie’s widening. She shakes her head. 

“No, sir.” 

“Then that’s far enough.” I gentle my words with a smile, take the few steps separating us and tap her head with Jaiden’s foot. She giggles and swims a circle around me, disappearing for a second underwater and then popping back up, laughing again.  

“I need to learn that trick,” Lexie says wryly. “I tried last week, asked her if I repeat myself, and she just stared at me and said, ‘What’d you say, Mommy?’”

 I can’t help it, I laugh, and Lexie glares at me. 

“You know she loves pressing your buttons. Every time she finds a new one, she just has to push.” 

“Looking forward to her teenage years.” I pull her close, anchoring Jaiden by one leg and looping an arm around her, cupping her stomach. 

“If she’s as sassy as you, baby. I’m not looking forward to them either.” Lexie leans her head on my shoulder, covering my hand with hers on her stomach. There’s a subtle movement beneath my fingers. 

“Lexie,” I breathe. “Did you feel that? They’re moving.” Of course, she felt it. It’s her body, but she just laughs. It’s not the first time the twins have moved, but I always seem to miss it, so it’s the first time I’ve felt the life growing inside Lexie for myself. 

“One of them is moving.” She guides my hand to the other side of her stomach. “This guy has been quiet all day.” 

“Guy?” I raise one questioning brow. “I thought we agreed we wouldn’t find out. You got some divination powers I know nothing about?” 

She shrugs. “I just have a feeling they’re both guys. God save me. Lennie and I will be outnumbered.” 

I chuckle “You hear that, Lennie? Your mom says we’re getting two boys. What do you think?” 

“I want sisters! Boys are yucky.” Jaiden jumps to the water, and they start a water war. 

“You heard the girl,” I tell Lexie. “Boys are yucky. I sure hope she’ll think like that for a long time.” 

Lexie laughs. “I honestly don’t care.” She grimaces and rubs the small of her back. “I’m so big this time, I just want them out . I’ve already gained as much weight as I had by the end with Lena. I’m huge.” 

I lean over to whisper in her ear. “You’re sexy as hell, Lexie. Always.” 

She turns her head so our mouths are mere inches apart, our lips separated by a single breath. “You think so, huh?” 

“I’ll show you tonight,” I whisper over her mouth. 

“Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!” Jaiden chants. We glance down at our godson, and both laugh. 

“You kiss all the time,” Lena mutters from a few feet away. She’s not wrong, but in my defense, her mother is irresistible. 

“Lena, we need to get back inside,” Lexie says. “We’ve been in the water all day, and you need your lunch. I bet Max made the grill sandwiches you love so much. After lunch, we can get ice cream from Amorino.” 

“A few more minutes, Mommy, please? So, Daddy can swim with me?” Lena asks, lips pouty and huge eyes pleading. If she figures out, she has me wrapped around her little finger, we’re doomed. Who am I kidding? The girl was born knowing. “You think you can keep up with me? Okay squirt. Let’s go.” 

After a while, we get out of the water and join the others for lunch in the terrace. Lena claps and rocks her shoulders, some little move she and Jaiden made up. The two are thick as thieves. Jaiden’s at our house as much as Lena is at Rash and Maxwell’s. 

“What’s that you’re drawing, Lennie?” Liv asks. She might not like kids, but she sure is crazy about her goddaughter. 

“It’s us!” Lena grins. 

“Let me see.” I reach for the paper. Lexie walks up beside me and looks down at the drawing in my hand. It’s a man-stick figure with which I assume is a stethoscope around his neck, obviously me. A shorter woman-stick she’s colored caramel and who has brown lines drawn around her shoulders for hair. Jaiden made Lexie’s stomach a circle and there’s two orange round things inside. 

“Grapefruit,” Lennie says. “Mommy said the babies are like grapefruits now.” 

“Ahhhh.” Lexie purses her lips against a smile. “You got them perfectly, baby.” 

In her drawing, she is standing between Lexie and me, holding our hands. I tilt my head, staring at what Lena’s holding in the drawing. A white bird?

“What’s that white thing your holding, squirt?” 

“It’s Tom!” She says, her smile wide and proud. “He’s an angel, like mommy said.” Tom’s name, said so unexpectedly, causes the adults on the terrace to hold their breaths collectively. Lexie goes perfectly still beside me, and her hand goes instinctively to her stomach. That old fear lives in the back of both our minds. As much as losing Tom still hurts, we talk openly about him to our daughter, making sure she knows she has a big brother looking out for her all the time, even though she never met him. 

“You can have it, Mommy,” Lena offers, her beautiful smile slipping, his childish intuition sharp enough to pick up on the shift of mood in the terrace. “I-I drew it for you, so we can put it in the twins’ nursery.”

 “It’s so good, Lennie. That’s a great idea,” I say, glancing at Lexie, who stares down at the paper. Even though she isn’t crying, her eyes have that look of shattered glass she sometimes gets when she thinks of Tom. Unfortunately, therapy doesn’t eradicate pain. Not for the first time, I wish I could carry it for her, but I can’t.

“This is your most beautiful drawing yet, Lennie,” Lexie says after clearing her voice, reaching down to caress the angel on it. “I love it very, very much. It will look perfect in their room.” She bends to kiss her hair, closes her eyes tightly and then cups Helena’s little head and kisses her forehead, too. She clears her throat and pulls back to spread an overbright smile and says, “Who’s ready for ice cream?” 

 ALEXIS

 Accident. That’s how everybody described what happened to my baby boy. An accident. It does hurt less than it used to. At first, I couldn’t think about Tom without aching and falling into a black hole. Five horrible years, where I needed to numb myself or ignore my pain to keep breathing. An empty shell that had trouble breathing. I would cringe at the sound of Tom’s name, incapable of pronouncing it myself. Not because I didn’t want to hear it, but because I wanted to hold him so badly. It’s been years, but my body perfectly recalls the sweet little weight of him in my arms. His scent still fills my nostrils if I draw a deep enough breath. I remember the dark tangle of curls brushing against my cheek. His little voice calling me mommy. Some days my head and thoughts are locked in a room with those last memories, and I don’t want to leave because he’s still there. As difficult as that day was, in that memory, he’s still there. But life goes on. It has moved on, and I’m a baby two and three. I’m years into a marriage full of love I spent five years thinking wasn’t even possible. 

“You okay?” I glance up from the table, from Lenna’s drawing, which I’ve found myself thinking about all day, to see Liv, wearing concern on her intense green eyes. The terrace is clear of dishes from tonight’s meal, and everyone’s gone to their respective corners. It’s just Livvie and me. 

“I’m fine.” The concern on her face stays. “I swear; I’m fine,” I say. “Just thinking. Remembering.” 

“Anything you want to talk about?” Her voice is unusually soft. Her gaze, as usual, is knowing. 

“I’m all talked out. A lifetime of expensive therapy will do that to a girl. I guess I’m feeling more than thinking, but I’m good.” 

“Okay. I’m here if you need me.” 

“I know Liv. I don’t know how I would have done otherwise.” 

“I think I will go join Maxwell for a nightcap”  

“Now you’re talking.” I sigh and stand from the table, squeeze her hand. “I’m going to turn in. Take a quick bath since Drake is putting Lena to bed.” 

“Alright. I’ll see you in the morning.” She gives me a wry grin. “I may even cook breakfast.” 

I deadpan, and Liv chuckles. “Did I say cook? I meant order.”

I laugh. “That’s more like it. Good night, Liv,” I say, grabbing Lena’s drawing.

After just a few minutes in the bathtub, I dry off and belt a terry cloth robe over my nakedness, smiling when both babies move. “Hello, boys.” I don’t care what Drake says, I know what I feel. “I’d love for Daddy to feel both of you move. Can we make a deal that you’ll let him feel you both at some point?” 

“Daddy would love that, too,” Drake says from the doorway. Leaning one shoulder into the door and wearing a white shirt, sleeves-rolled-up, he looks so attractive, my husband. His face grows more handsome the older he gets. He has that strong virility that somehow converts years into sexual magnetism. I walk over and reach up to caress his jaw, shadowed with stubble. 

“You have a little gray in your beard, Mr. Walker.” I close the space between us and tip my toes to kiss him. 

He grunts, closing his eyes and leaning into me, his hardness pressing into my belly. I want him so badly. The restlessness I’ve felt most of the day needs an outlet, and I know the best, most pleasurable way to get it.

 “Lie down,” he says, leading me to the bed. My hand goes to the belt of my robe, but he stops me. “I want to unwrap you myself,” he says.

 I lie on my back, and he hovers over me, connecting our eyes. I see desire there, yes, but concern, too. 

“Drake, I’m okay,” I tell him, grabbing his hand and kissing it. 

“You sure?” His dark brows form a frown. “The drawing—” 

“It took me off guard.” I pull his hand into the neck of my robe, passing his palm over my nipple until it buds beneath his fingers. “But now I want you.”

 He hesitates, searching my face and eyes before nodding. Our eyes meet, and beneath the desire filling his stare, a question lingers. 

“Drake.” I place his hand on my stomach. “I’m fine.” 

He bends to kiss my stomach, the underside of my breast. That restlessness needs attention, try to disturb my desire, but before I can allow myself to be distracted, the lights in the bedroom dim and my husband’s hands are on me. Drake opens the robe as if it’s a gift.

“Fuck baby, you’re so gorgeous.” 

He lies down to spoon me, brushes my hair aside, and kisses my nape. 

“You okay?” he asks. I know Drake well enough to hear the restraint he’s exercising. The restlessness caught him too, and in days like this, he needs wild, unbridled fucking, but he doesn’t want to hurt the twins or me. As many times as I reassure him, it’s hard for him to believe it’s okay to be as rough with me as we love sometimes. 

“Drake, please, fuck me hard. I need it as much as you do.” 

“Lexie,” he rasps, dropping his forehead against my hair. “Don’t ask. . .I can’t. . .the way I feel right now . . . I wish you knew what you do to me.” 

“Show me.” 

And he does; he takes me hard and rough. He fucks me into oblivion, until there’s nothing else but him and me. I’ve needed this desperately, craved the feeling that comes when we make love, when we’re like this, when we have this together, when he’s inside me. 

“Fuck, Lex,” he growls. “I love you.” 

Tears fill my eyes. The tears I wouldn’t allow myself earlier because Tom was years ago and I should be over it. I could hide that from myself, but I can’t hide anything from him. The tears run down my face, and they aren’t all grief or sorrow. They’re tears of gratitude for my little squirt sleeping down the hall. Tears of hope for the twins growing inside of me. Tears of happiness for the love of a man like Drake. 

“God, Drake,” I sob. “I love you, I love you.” 

Hours later, we lay together side to side, exhausted. All my restlessness gone, forgotten.

“Wow,” he says.

“Wow, I repeat. You have a magical dick.” 

We both laugh at that, and he tickles me, making me wriggle in his arms. Suddenly, we both go still, feeling the movement in my belly at the same time. Like tiny synchronized swimmers, one of my boys moves on my left and the other on the right. 

“Shit.” Drake’s gaze meets mine. “Both of them are moving. That’s. . .that’s amazing, Lex.” 

“It is. I wanted you to feel that so badly. I feel them do that all the time, but I wanted . . . I’m so happy . . .” I stop, emotionally exhausted. 

“Our life,” I say suddenly, toying with the hair on his chest.

 “What about it?” he asks, kissing the top of my head. 

I reach up to touch the flecks of gray in his stubble. “I’m so glad we met when we were young. That we will grow old together. That I’ll have a life with you. Despite all the years we spent apart. We lost so much, but now we have this life, our marriage, our kids.” 

He tenderly rubs my belly. “These kids, all worth the wait. And no matter what comes, we’ll face it together.” I turn around, he pulls me tightly against his chest, and we fall asleep together.  

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Smalltown Bringdown 4

Warnings: blood, violence, noncon (fingering).

This is dark!biker!Bucky and explicit. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: Bucky takes you for a ride.

Note: Okay so it took me a while to finish this one in terms of organizing my ideas and maybe I just think about this stuff too much lol. But it is a little longer than the last two chapters. Now I’m thinking part 5 will be the last but as it happens so often, this story might be slipping beyond by restraints lol. But anyway, enjoy. To those who take the time to read, thank you. Love you guys!

Please, leave some feedback, like and reblog <3

Five days in and you couldn’t say you were adjusting, merely closer to acceptance of your hopeless circumstance. That was always easy. In Birch, it was an inevitability that one would settle. There were no grand dreams to be achieved, no underdog story or redemption; there was only monotony and routine. As it was oft said, you were born and then you died. 

You were surprised to have the weekend off. Working in a bar, it was expected to work Friday to Saturday; those were the busy days. Your schedule didn’t seem to fit to the necessity of the business though, more its owner. Whenever you were there, he made sure to be there too. He was always there to see you off at the end of the night, though his farewells were briefer than his first.

That night was different. Slightly. He didn’t stick around to watch you from his table. His blue eyes didn’t follow you, his ears didn’t prick up whenever you spoke with a particular customer for too long. He had a single beer then retreated to the back with Steve. Lifelong friends, it was easily assumed that Steve was a natural confidante and a useful intimidator. He’d kept his hands to himself since that first shift, but he was none the subtler.

He emerged only as you were helping wipe down the bar. A ripple of deja vu blurred your vision as he neared the other side. Lucy rubbed her back as she peeked in the kitchen to check on Bobby. You tossed the cloth in the basket under the bar and looked up at your boss. Bucky rested a foot on the bottom rung of a stool as he hooked a thumb in his pocket.

“I’ll give you a ride home,” He said. 

“It’s a ten minute walk.” You replied. 

Lucy let the door swing behind her and you caught it as you held it open with your foot and opened the closet just inside. You pulled your jacket off the hanger and slung your bag over your shoulder. You turned back and Bucky met you at the end of the bar.

“So it’ll be a quick ride,” He blocked you in. “Or… you can hang around for a little… we can… talk.”

“Fine,” You zipped your jacket up halfway.

He smiled and backed up enough for you to brush past him. He turned and his hand rested on your lower back as he led you to the door. He held it open for you and his hand was quick to dance along your hip. He stopped you before his bike and you watched him approach it.

You stepped away as he straddled it and kicked up the stand. He peeked over his shoulder as he turned the bars and steered it backward out of the spot. He stopped before you and slid the helmet from the handle. He held it out to you.

“Don’t wanna hurt that pretty head of yours,” He winked and you huffed as you accepted the helmet.

You climbed up behind him, careful to touch him as little as possible as you slid the strap through the metal loop. He reached back and squeezed your leg.

“Don’t be shy,” He said. “Or you’ll find yourself in the road.”

You slipped forward on the seat until he was between your thighs and he pulled your arms around him. You let him and stiffened against him. The bike roared as he turned the key and you couldn’t help but hold him tightly. He pulled out of the lot and onto the road, the wind formed a soft tunnel around you.

You were dizzy as he pulled up to your mother’s house, your cheeks raw from cool night air. 

“Thanks,” You climbed down and quickly undid the helmet. You held it out to him before he could kill the engine. When he didn’t take it, you hung it on the handle bar. He angled the bars and turned the bike off. He flipped the stand down and dismounted.

You spun away and hurried up your mother’s walk. He followed as you fumbled with your keys. The front door stuck and you rarely went in that way. He came up behind you as you found the right key but he caught your hand before you could reach to the handle. He pressed himself to your back and crushed you against the door.

“What’s the rush?” He purred in your ear. “I don’t even get a good night?”

“Bucky,” You breathed as he pulled on your wrist and turned you around. He wrestled the keys from you and tucked them in his pocket. He set your hand on his shoulder as he kept close.

“You think I do favours for nothing,” His hand went to your waist and slowly crawled along your side. 

“You insisted. I would’ve walked.” You argued as you wriggled against him.

“Honey, you know I’m not gonna wait forever,” His finger crept along the front of your jeans. “I’ve waited long enough as it is.”

“Why?” You hissed. “Why are you doing this?”

“Why did you have to be the hero?” He leaned in and nuzzled your hair. “You should’ve kept your mouth shut like you did in school. I never would’ve known you were there but… even with a gun to your face, you had fire in your eyes.” He loosed the button of your fly. “Do you know how fucking hot that is?”

“I… no.” You grabbed his hand and he waved you off as he pushed your zipper down. “No, I was afraid.”

“Maybe,” He said. “But I think you still regretted dropping that knife.”

“Stop,” You fought his hand with yours. “Stop.”

“Don’t make this hard,” His other hand shot to your throat. “I’m hard enough as it is.”

“You’re disgusting,” You snarled.

“You like it,” He laughed under his breath as his finger tugged at the thin elastic of your panties. “A girl like you… such a boring life… you want the excitement, you just don’t know it.”

He shoved his hand in your panties and you pressed yourself to the door. You turned your face from him to hide your shame and he dragged his nose along your temple. His hot breath embraced you as he caressed your vee.

“My mom’s asleep,” You grabbed his wrist. “Please…”

“So we’ll have to be quiet.” His fingers pushed between your folds and your hand dropped to the handle. You tried to turn it helplessly as he held you to the door. “Shhhh.” He hushed you as he began to play with your clit. 

You gasped as he sent a chill through you. You hadn’t been touched since that regrettable fling with Alex, the younger mechanic at the local shop. He had been clumsy and selfish. That was a year ago; maybe more. You squeezed the handle and closed your eyes.

“You’re already wet for me,” He whispered. “Honey,” He rubbed his crotch against you, “You got me hard as hell.”

You bit your lip as his fingers sent waves through you. It was hard to resist the peculiar and long-sought sensation. He was right, you were wet and getting wetter by the second. He slid his fingers further back and forced his hand between your legs. He dragged his fingertips back and forth and used your juices to ease his way.

He pushed a finger inside you a felt around. He rocked his hips as he dipped another finger in. He pressed the heel of his hand to your clit and curled his fingers inside of you. You shook your head as your core pulsed. Your thighs quivered and your nails dug into the wood of the door.

“You’re gonna cum for me,” He growled. “Not just now, but tomorrow.” He pressed his cheek to yours as his voice gristled in your ear. “I’m gonna take you for a ride.” His hand moved faster and you gritted your teeth. “Take you somewhere you don’t have to be quiet.”

Your entire body shook as the waves crashed into each other and you pushed your chin up as you came. You stuck your tongue out and you held it between your teeth to keep from crying out. He didn’t stop until you stilled. Until you were panting and weak against the door.

“And if you’re not waiting for me in a nice little dress,” He pulled his hand from your panties. “Then I’ll just have to come in and drag you out.” 

He ran his wet fingers along his bottom lip before he slipped them in his mouth and licked them clean. He wiped them on his jeans and reached in his pocket. He took out your keys and held them out.

“You got it, honey?” He shoved the keys into your shaky hand.

“Yes,” You said quietly. “Yes, I understand.”

“Finally,” He smirked as he slowly back away. “I’ll be by at noon.”

💀

Noon, sharp. Bucky rode up as the clock tower chimed a dozen times. You were on the curb waiting for him since quarter to and your mother was conspicuously watching from behind the blinds. She had checked your purse for the mace and made sure it worked. Her eyes were still red from the test.

You wore a pale blue dress beneath a beige jacket, a pair of brown suede boots and a matching purse. You didn’t care if you looked good for Bucky but you also didn’t need him reproaching you for disobeying. You were tiring of that.

The thought of him was infuriating. And something else. The memory of what happened the night before. You refused to look at the front door. 

“Hey,” You neared his bike as he waited for you and avoided his gaze. He had two helmets today. You took the one in his hand and he watched you secure it.

“No time to waste, honey,” He revved the bike. “Careful. The exhaust is hot. You don’t wanna burn yourself.”

“Where are we going?” You raised your voice over the loud engine.

“Now what would be the fun in telling you?” He chuckled. 

You crossed your arms and made no move to get on. You glared at his taunting smirk.

“Now, I can help you up, honey, but I’m already running late,” His leather glove audibly strained as he gripped his handlebar. “So come on.”

You bit down and rolled your eyes. You reluctantly grabbed his shoulder and swung your leg over. As you sat, you tried to pulled your skirt down to cover your knees on either side of him. It was a fruitless effort.

“Oh,” He turned his head and leaned back against you, “I didn’t mention how sexy you look…” He reached back and touched your leg. “I like the innocent look.”

You scrunched your nose and resisted ripping his hand away from you. You slipped your arms under his and hovered your lips close to him, “Aren’t you running late?” You asked.

He shook his head as he turned forward and growled. You clung to him as he revved the engine again. You almost yelped as he pulled away from your house, the bike ripped through the rush of wind around you. The streets of Birch rushed past you in a blur and soon faded to the metal rails of the highway. You shivered as your bare legs were lashed in the open air. You were thankful to have Bucky’s broad shoulders as shelter.

He slowed as he came to the end of a ramp. He stopped and looked both ways as he awaited his turn. You read the green signs and sighed. You hadn’t been to the city since your failed stint in community college. Well, you hadn’t so much flunked out as busted. You couldn’t afford to live and study at the same time and only one of those was possible without the other.

When he drove up to his destination and the monstrous rumble of the engine subsided, you were greeted by a familiar but unwelcome figure. You got off the bike as you worked at unbuckling your helmet and Steve approached. You peeked over at the hotel doors as Bucky climbed off behind you. You turned and looked between them in confusion.

“Russ isn’t gonna wait forever,” Steve said. 

“Only for me,” Bucky smiled as he removed his helmet. He turned and took yours in kind. He slung them over his handlebar carelessly. “I told you I’d be late.”

“She really need to be here?” Steve asked.

“Oh, suck it up,” Bucky warned. “Keep your hands to yourself and she’ll do the same.”

“I’m not afraid of her,” Steve scowled.

“Sure,” Bucky chuckled. “I know.”

“Can I interrupt for one second and ask what the hell is going on?” You said.

“You can and you have,” Bucky looked to you. “But keep that tongue to yourself once we’re in there. Not many of my ilk are so tolerant.”

“Clearly,” You squinted at Steve as he rolled his eyes.

“Just a meeting.” Bucky assured as he pulled his gloves off. “Got some business out east and a lot of hands on the wheel.” He tucked the leather in his pocket. “Look, you don’t gotta worry about specifics. You’ll be with the other gals. They’re friendly but a bit rough around the edges… you’ll fit right in.”

“Like a lamb among wolves,” Steve shook his head.

“I’m starting to think you might be more fit to sit with the ladies as well,” Bucky turned on Steve as he swept his arm around your waist. “Out here telling me I’m late only to waste my time arguing.”

Steve looked away repentantly and waited for Bucky to urge you past him before he followed. He led you through the hotel doors and across the lobby. The hostess at the front desk recognized him and gave a meek smile as she nodded and directed him to the conference room on the sixth floor. The place was nice; upscale even. You’d never suspect a small-time criminal to be strolling across its polished marble. Or yourself, really.

The elevator was silent; tense. You were still trying to figure it out. You’d seen this hotel before, marveled at it on the way to classes you couldn’t afford. You glanced out the corner of your eye at the man who held you close with one arm. At his other shoulder was the dour sidekick who spent his time threatening simpletons in a one-horse town. 

What business could they possibly have here?

The doors chimed and opened before you. As you stepped out, Bucky’s arm fell away and he tapped your ass. 

“Behave,” He warned. You didn’t miss the gloating grin on Steve’s lips. “You too.” Bucky added sharply and Steve grimaced.

Bucky led you to a set of double doors, a rise of voices on the other side. He opened them and revealed a room of leather-clad goons. They all looked out of place in this room fit for a gala. His hand was on your arm as he was greeted by each man he passed with a nod or a grumble of his name. 

Steve followed at his shoulder as he cut through the crowd to the man at the back of the room. The man sat at the head of the gathering as he overlooked them as a king would his subjects. He stood as Bucky approached the other side of his table. There was no deference between them, merely recognition. 

“Russ,” Bucky greeted and held out his hand. The man with the greying red beard stood and took it. They shook firmly.

“Buck,” Russ returned. “Not often you’re late but…” He glanced at you, “Think I understand now.”

“Well, we shouldn’t waste any more time, should we?” Bucky straightened up. “We got a bit of shit show up east, don’t we?”

“That we do,” Russ nodded and sat back down. The man to his right rose and offered his seat to Bucky. “I got Oslo on his way already. He’s scoutin’ the scene.”

“Mmm,” Bucky squeezed your arm and excused himself with a finger. “Honey, why don’t you go say hi to Chyka?” He pointed over your shoulder. 

You blinked at him and looked between him and Russ. It dawned on you what this was. He was showing you his power; his pull. That he wasn’t just the man in Birch, he was the man all over. You nodded and slowly pulled away. As you turned, his hand lingered on yours as if to draw you back but he let you go.

Your nostrils flared as you crossed to the group of women. They were just as fond of leather as the men; vests, skirts, boots. You neared and tried to shrug away your nerves. You tucked your hands in your jacket pockets and planted your feet.

“Chyka?” You asked. 

The woman quieted as they looked over at you. The last to turn her head had black hair and a large crooked nose. She had a unique beauty to her, a rough type of elegance. She leaned back on the long sofa and crossed her legs. She looked you up and down.

“Ah, and who are you?” She asked with a sneer.

You gave her your name and peeked over your shoulder. Bucky was sat beside Russ and already in deep conversation. You couldn’t expect him to hold your hand. Perhaps if you blew it, he’d leave you be.

“And what brings you round here?” She raised an arched brow. “Girl like you doesn’t seem the type.”

“I came from Birch,” You said indifferently. “To see the city.”

She scoffed and tilted her head. “To see the city? You with Steve then? He does have peculiar tastes.”

“No,” You answered and kept from fidgeting.

“Bucky?” A woman with stringy blonde hair perked up.

You nodded. “Sure. Guess you could say I’m with him.”

“Well, I’ll be,” Chyka smiled. “Never thought I’d see the day.”

Your brow wrinkled at her reaction and you looked around the half circle of women. “This seat taken?” You pointed to a velvet chair.

“Girl, you come in here on his arm, no chair in here is taken,” Chyka mused. “Come on,” She waved away the stringy blonde beside her, “Sit. Next to me.”

“It’s fine, I don’t wanna--”

“Danielle’s fine,” She insisted. “She was just gonna grab us some drinks, weren’t you?”

“Sure,” Danielle stood and sidestepped you. “Beer or--”

“What’ll you have?” Chyka asked you pointedly.

“Water,” You replied.

“We don’t got water,” Chyka pointed to the cushion next to her.

“Whatever you’re having then,” You sat and shrugged.

“Beer’s fine, Dani,” Chyka dismissed the other woman and those around her looked to each other and whispered in their own conversations. You could sense their lingering attention. “Course he would bring a girl with an attitude and a half.”

You narrowed your eyes at her. “You know my name. It’s not girl.” You retorted.

“Oh,” She smiled. “Well, then…” She swayed her legs and peered over at the men. “Well, I’m Russ’ woman so we’ll be getting to know each other well. If you last long at all.”

“If ,indeed,” You grumbled and checked the time on your phone. “Suppose I’ll have to put up with you.”

“I like you, g--” She stopped herself and used your name instead. 

“Hmm,” You leaned on the arm and looked around. You never thought you’d miss Birch.

“Do you know who Russ is?” She nudged you. “Who your man is?”

“My man?” You turned to her.

“This…” She spun her finger around, “Is a club meeting and our men run these things. You understand?”

“Sure,” You replied dully. “Place like Birch is small, easy--”

“Birch is nothing compared to the rest of it,” She interjected. “He don’t just run Birch.”

You blinked at her.

“He could have this entire city in his pocket.” She continued. “You see, when Russ made his grab, it was Bucky who helped him close his fist.” Danielle returned and offered you a bottle. You accepted it but did not drink. “The boys from Birch aren’t to be challenged; not here, not anywhere. Excuse the pun, but Birch is a twig among branches in the scheme of things.”

“Oh yeah?” You rubbed your thumb over the label. “Should I be impressed then? By you? Him?”

She laughed again and drank from her beer. “You should be aware…” She intoned. “I never seen a woman walk in here with that man,” She gestured with the neck of her bottle towards the head table. “And you always see that man when he walks in a room.”

You followed her gaze to Bucky and your thoughts began to storm. You sat back and lowered your eyes as you slowly turned the bottle in your hand. This wasn’t just a show of power, this was a very clear message; he wasn’t going to just go away.

[noonaficcorner]

Rose-Colored Boy | Part Four

Paring: Mark Tuan | Reader

Genre/Rating: Friends to Lovers |  Fluff, Smut (later on), Slight Angst

Warning: Language

Summary: Working as a Nurse, Y/N's favorite pastime is getting lost in her favorite online game with her online gamer squad. After 2 years of online banter, Y/N finally gets the chance to get closer to and meet her online friend, Mark Tuan. With many things in common and the same twisted sense of humor, one thing still remains a mystery: Mark's career that causes him to constantly travel out of the country. Still, Y/N decides to take a chance on what could be more than just friendship and meets Mark for the first time. (New Summary thanks to a friend)

NOTES: Quick update!! I was really inspired and cranked this chapter out quick. I’m already working on the next but not sure when it will be up. I’m busy at the end of this month. So fingers crossed I get the next out in August.

Part One // Part Two // Part Three // Part Four

Everything you owned was crap. It was either scrubs or jeans and a t-shirt. It wasn’t like you didn’t have nice outfits. However, when you looked at all of it thrown across your bed in panic, you couldn’t seem to find anything decent. All of it felt dull and lackluster for what was about to happen. As you picked up what you deemed the cutest pair of jeans you owned, a black skinny pant with nicely placed rips, you started to realize why Mark kept his secret for as long as he did. Knowing who he was to the outside world made you start to question yourself even more. It made you wonder if you were enough to even just be in his presence. People pay thousands of dollars to just give him a hi-five and here you were, cursing him out for 2 years over the internet for free. If only they knew…

Holding up shirt after shirt to your chest, each one making you even more disgusted than the last. There had to be something that didn’t scream ‘try hard’ or ‘disgusting creature’. Snatching literally the last shirt out of your closet which happened to be a high-low blue striped button down, you threw it on over the black cami you already had on. It was almost time for you to leave the house without being late and if you started this whole process over again, you wouldn’t even go.

While you looked in the mirror finalizing the touches on your make-up, you realized that this isn’t some sort of date. Why were you putting so much effort to receive an apology? Blinking those wayward thoughts away before you went down another hole, you grabbed your purse and rushed out of your freshly messy apartment.

You had only been to Mark’s place once, but the muscle memory was there because you had played the scenes over in your mind for almost a week. It felt like you were standing in front of the intimidating high-rise in no time. Your body was moving through mind fog as you punched in his code and waited to be buzzed up. Even the elevator ride felt like an out of body experience. It wasn’t until the door was opening and you looked up and saw Mark that your soul snapped back into you and you could focus.

“I hope it wasn’t a hard trip.” He said as the door widened and you crossed the threshold. It had only been six days since you last saw him, but the purple in his hair was almost gone and his dark roots were starting to show. Realizing that the hair choice probably wasn’t his, but was for his latest album, made your lips turn down slightly. He picked up on that and thought it was a non-verbal answer to his statement.

“I could have gotten you a taxi if the train was too crowded…” He trailed off.

“No, no. The ride was fine. I was noticing that your hair is a little different from last time.” You mumbled as you both hovered around each other. You could feel a slight pain start to form between your shoulder blades from all the tension in the room. Both of you locked eyes and it felt like you had entered a staring contest, and neither one of you were losers. It wasn’t until his hand reached out and took your wrist and led you to the living room and onto the couch, that you regained your senses.

“I’m sorry. I’m so freaking sorry.” His words came out rushed and pained. Your lips parted to respond but Mark held a hand up to stop you.

“Let me get this out first. I didn’t mean to keep it from you. Honestly, I thought that the moment I opened that door and you saw me, you were going to freak out cause you recognized me. When you didn’t, my plan went to shit and I fell into the comfort of just us hanging out. Believe me when I say I had every intention of telling you about my career. I just didn’t know how to come out and say I’m an idol singer.”

“Rapper.” You interjected. Mark’s head tilted slightly and confusion dipped his brows.

“You said idol singer. From what I looked up, you’re not really a singer. You’re the main rapper and lead dancer of the group. It also said you’re the visual which makes sense cause…” You waved your hands in front of your face to indicate your point that he’s gorgeous.

Mark’s laugh filled the room and it was exactly like those compilation videos you found of his laugh. A slight smile tugged at your lips as the atmosphere in the room started to lighten up. You were still mad and will probably be for a while but the big mad feeling was almost completely gone.

“So you did research? I bet the internet had some crazy things to say. Sin, I’m sorry that I wasn’t the one to tell you everything from the beginning. When you’re in the business I’m in, it’s hard making friends who aren’t also in the life or after you for something else. I was selfish because I really liked what we have or… had. I got addicted to the ease of just being myself with you.” He went on. His eyes dropped down as he talked about your relationship in the past tense. The wall that you unconsciously started to build since your last visit shook. Maybe it was the earnestness in his tone or the way he used your online nickname, but at that moment you kind of just wanted to hug him. Instead you did the only thing you could do in this situation.

“Now that you said that, are you gonna show me some of your backflips? They looked really impressive on youtube.” You smirked as his head shot up and looked at you in surprise. The smirk turned into a full smile and the tension started to melt away when his toothy grin appeared.

“I can even teach you some moves but I don’t know your flexibility level.” Mark joked and that’s how the rest of the afternoon went. He started to talk about how he joined the company and his trainee period. I knew it was hard on young kids but hearing it first hand made you want to throw on a cape and save them all from the heartache. When he calmed down your anger, Mark talked about  the traveling he did all over the world with the group. He talked about how they were more than just bandmates and more like brothers. Even mentioning some stories you found through your ‘research’, but hearing them from him made them ten times funnier.

“Remind me to never get you upset where you can throw a laptop at me.” You joked. The sun had gone down outside and now you both were sitting on the floor, take-out containers covered the table. Hours had passed and you only realized how many when you tried to hide a yawn and Mark check the time on his phone.

“Time flew by. I guess you have to get going soon?” His eyes were like tea cups as they looked over to you. The last thing you wanted was to have this good time end but you had worked a full shift yesterday and had to be on in the morning as well. It didn’t help that you left your apartment in such a mess, it looks like it was probably burglarized.

“Yeah… I’m sure your roommates want to come home too. What did you tell them that made them give you the place to yourself?” You asked as you started to clean up the mess created. Piling the dishes into one, Mark took them from you and moved them toward the door.

“Most of them had schedules, so the house was gonna be empty anyway. Though I did have to promise Yugyeom and Bambam that I would treat them to meat soon. Are you going to take a taxi? It’s pretty late.” Between his worrying, you both cleaned up rather quickly. In no time, you looked around and the space was back to normal and Mark was standing with his hands pulling at his hoodie sleeves. You noticed that he did that when he felt unsure about something or wanted to word vomit.

“I’ll take one just because you insist. But what is it, sweater paws?” Reaching forward and tugging on the hood strings, you asked him. It was clear why he had so many fans. The half smile he gave was a weapon of ovary destruction and shouldn’t be used all willy nilly. How rude…

“I’m glad you came over. I’m also glad we’re talking again. And now that you know everything , I have a work thing tomorrow. It isn’t long though. Just need to go film a spread for a magazine. I’ll be back by next weekend. Promise.” Mark picked up your bag and played with the strap of it before closing the distance and looping it over your head, adjusting it. The height difference between the two of you wasn’t gigantic, but it was enough that had your neck tilting back a bit.

“It’s okay. Remember, I’m used to Ghosty McGhostington. You don’t have to worry too much.” Before you could even stop yourself, your thumb reached out and smoothed the little wrinkle between his brows. The level of skin-ship you were exhibiting wasn’t the norm for you. But the way he didn’t recoil from your touch allowed you the brief moment of insanity and for you to place your hand casually on your strap without looking like a crazy person. You thought you saw a hint of a smile on his lips, but it was so faint, you’re sure you imagined it.

“I’m calling you a car, and before you say something, don’t. And text me when you get home, okay?” You wanted to argue that you were independent and didn’t need him to do that, but a part of you thought it was sweet. In all honesty, when it was just you and him talking and playing around like you’ve done for so long virtually, the idea of him being a celebrity was a foreign concept. He was just Mark to you.

Once he was finished punching in some numbers on his phone and you came out of your own head, he walked you to the door. That smile you thought was just a shadow was now plastered on his face and it had the chain reaction of making you smile in return. Your hands squeezed harder on your bag strap because every fiber of your being was telling you to just reach out and hug this dorky guy smiling at you. But instead you held your hand out for a hi-five like the loser you were becoming.

“Thanks for inviting me over and I'm glad we cleared things up. Uh, hit me up if you get some free time. Or not, it's whatever.” Shrugging off the awkwardness, Mark connected with your hand with a look of confusion and before he could say anything, you darted from his apartment. It was becoming a habit of yours to flee every time you were there. Your flight or fight response was out of whack because with anything else in your life you were all about fighting. However, wherever Mark was concerned, you flew out of there like a bat out of hell.

By the time you were walking through your door, you were so distracted by thoughts from your day that you forgot that you left your place in a state of utter disgust. The vibrating of your phone made you forget all about the clothes covering almost every inch of available surface because of course it was Mr. Tuan himself in your inbox.

Mark: U made it?

Sin: You* and yeah, just walked in.

Mark: Ha ha ha. Are you tired?

Sin: Depends, why do you ask?

Mark: Wanna get online for like an hour? I’m a bit wired and we haven’t properly played in a while. Miss it…

Sin: Don’t you have a flight to catch in the morning?

Mark: Yeah but I can sleep on the plane. Are you scared I’m gonna kick your ass? ;-)

Sin: Signing on right now so get the lube because I’m about to tear you a new one.

And just like that, Mark brought you back to a comfortable mindset. The root in which your friendship grew from.

Finally, it was Friday, but you were antsy as hell. The clock was ticking down to the end of your shift, but it felt as  if it was moving as slow as if you were sinking in a mudflat. Bora and Ahin, another first year resident, were finishing up your shifts so the three of you could do your weekly Karaoke night. But it wasn’t only the promise of a night of chicken, beer and bad singing that had you anxious. Mark was coming back from his trip tomorrow and it had you on pins and needles.

The two of you had been texting while he was away. You were sure it was more than he should actually be doing during a work trip, but now that there weren’t any omitted truths between you, he would tell you about everything that was happening, within reason. When you asked for pictures, he couldn’t give you any official ones, but he did snap a few selfies of his face filled with pretty eyeshadows and lip tints. He really did clean up well.

As you were changing out of your scrubs, your phone pinged and like a pavlov response, your hand reached and opened your texts with Olympian speed.

Mark: What are you doing Sunday?

Sin: Washing my hair, shaving my back, catching up on sleep. Lol why?

Mark: Sexy. I need a favor from you.

Sin: If it involves money, we might need to reevaluate our friendship.

Mark: No money involved, but I would like it if you said yes.

Sin: Okay you’re being cryptic. Are you sick?

Mark: No. But will you say yes before I ask?

Sin: Sure, what is it?

After asking that, the little dots jumped across the screen as he typed his response. You stood there in your jeans and scrub top, staring at your phone like a crazy person. What did he have to ask that was so important? Bora and Ahin walked into the locker room and started to change themselves while you waited.

“What’s going on? Your face is all scrunched up?” Ahin asked as she hung up her lab coat. Just as you were about to tell her, Mark’s bubble appeared…

Mark: Will you go on a date with me? Not as a friend, but as a woman. A date date.

Your heart dropped into your stomach with a clatter. When you heard your name being yelled by Bora, you looked down and realized that it wasn’t just your heart that dropped, but also your phone on the floor. Quickly dropping down and picking it up, you looked at the words over; Woman. Date. You sucked in all the oxygen you could manage and sighed.

“Well shit…”  

[larryfanficwriter98]

Chapter One.

Fake Fiancé/Husband Wanted!

Yes, I know the request looks weird, but I can explain. I work a high demanding job so I can't have custody of my child unless I marry someone with regular hours and a regular nanny on call. I have the nanny, but she is a uni student and can't be here at odd hours. After gaining custody and getting a job with normal hours I am willing to pay you or we can talk about divorce settlements. Preferably someone with a stable job and a liking towards kids. If you have a child, they are welcome to live here too obviously and I will treat them like my own for the foreseeable future. Serious inquiries only, please contact me via email I have made specifically for this.

Thank you.   Louis didn't know why he was on craigslist at three in the morning after drinking himself to death's door knowing Freddie was safe with Zayn for the night. He knew that when he was drunk, he tended to do stupid things and think stupid things. He had been on this post for almost an hour staring at it knowing damn well how stupid and dangerous replying was. That didn't stop him from clicking on the email and typing out a reply. 

To Stranger,

My name is Louis Tomlinson I am a single father of a four-year-old boy. I work as a dramatic arts teacher at Abraham Moss Community. Not the best paying job, but nowhere in your post did you have a minimum annual income requirement. Despite the horrible pay I do love my job and I work at this school for free childcare at the nursery across the street my son goes to. I would like to know a bit more information about you wanting custody before I agree to such a thing. You hear so many stories about fathers taking kids to be spiteful, so I want to be sure that is not the reason.

Louis

****   It was two days later when Louis got a reply from the mysterious guy. He waited until his lunch break before he read it.  

Louis,

You are the first normal person who has shown interest in anything that wasn't money related. For that reason, I really hope we hit it off. I love my daughter so much; she is my absolute world and I video call her every day. It's not me that is the bad parent and I say this as nicely as I can, but her mother is a very absent and selfish parent, and it shows. It's funny you work where you do, my daughter is in Year 1 there.

I gave her mother the money for private school, but she spent it on a new wardrobe for herself and didn't even spent a dime on out daughter. So, she goes to Abraham. I have receipts and check copies, and everything is to prove that I am the 'fit' parent. I have tried to avoid court, but I haven't been able to have my daughter for more than a few hours in over a year. Now her mother is talking about movie to America if her boyfriend gets the promotion at the end of the twelve-month training which just began a month ago. I have a hearing in a few weeks for visiting rights so hopefully if you are still willing after hearing how much drama this will involve, we can talk about everything in person before then.

Your son Freddie, what's his custody like? He is welcome here anytime and if he lives with you full time that's amazing. Obviously, kids make this a bit more delicate, but all the more reason to see if we can try to be something more along the way? We'll discuss this more another time of course, but reply as soon as you are able to and maybe we can get coffee?

 Your (maybe) future husband.

  Louis smiled softly reading about how much the guy loved his daughter. He seemed to want the best for her, and her mother seemed to just want money. He heard about those people and he could honestly say he couldn't believe it. He couldn't believe people put themselves first over their own child. Louis had three-year-old winter boots with the soles so worn out that the snow seeped into his socks, but his son always needed new boots every winter and he'd be damned if his son were in pain over too tight shoes because Louis bought a pair of boots for himself. Louis pressed the reply button and wrote a quick response.  

My future husband,

She sounds like the devil. I'd be happy to help you if you don't/haven't found anyone better. I have the same lunch hour every Monday through Friday from 11-12 and there's a small coffee shop around the corner I can make it to for the hour. Then my best my mate has Freddie a weekend a month and then me mum has Freddie for another weekend. Usually it goes me mum, myself, best mate, and myself again. So, to make this believable we have two weekends to have "been together". Freddie is mine solely, I'm a carrier so I had him, and his other father ran out a few months after he was born. Ran off with a younger boy without a child and without a scar on his stomach. Let me know when you're available for that coffee.

Louis

  ***********   Harry emailed only three people Louis, Matthew, and Brian. Matthew and Brian didn't have kids, but they said they liked them. Matthew kept asking about his monthly income which he kept avoiding and Brian asked how big he was and if sex was involved. Harry wouldn't say no to sex of course, but to ask someone's size. He ended up blocking him when he got a dick pic. Matthew then asked how much the wedding would total up to and if they were wearing designer suits, so he ended up blocking him as well. Louis was interested in his reason of doing this and he had a child so knew how real this had to be for kids. He knew what it meant to be a full-time parent and put the kid first. So, he was so far the best candidate and he never even asked about his job or finances. So, after checking his schedule he emailed him and told him he'd be able to meet Thursday during his lunch at the café he knew Louis was talking about.   He got off a rare 38-hour shift Thursday at ten, so it gave him time to make it to the school for a quick minute to see Maddison. He walked into the building still in his pink scrubs and lab coat on as well, but that was because he hadn't taken it off so use to having it on all the time. He headed up to the front desk smiling at Amy.   "Hey Amy, is Maddison available for just a minute? I know she's in art right now."   "She is, however, she's over at the other side in Mr. Tomlinson's room. He's her favorite teacher and she goes there every art class and sometimes when her mother is late for pickup, he stays with her. I can take you to his room."   "Louis Tomlinson?" Harry questioned not believing it for a second   "Well, she calls him Mister Tommy."   "Oh that's- no kidding yeah she told me about him. He gives her candy whenever she gets a good score on her writing or reading." Harry said grinning   "That's him. He seems to be everyone's favorite. I'll take you to him-"   "No, it's okay. Can you just tell her I stopped by? I don't want to disturb her."   "Are you sure?"   "Yeah, it's fine. Thank you, Amy." Harry left the building and headed to his Murano. He waited in the parking lot for a little while as he went through their emails over the past few days. Harry had told Louis his name and that he worked as a doctor. He wanted to get into neonatal care, he already had the training and everything he needed there just hadn't been an opening yet, but the hospital was expanding their Neonatal Ward and Harry had already talked to his higher ups about working there. When he finally got to the cafe, he was only a few minutes later because he got lost in his own head in the parking lot. Harry got out of the car and headed inside up to the front desk. Louis' Gmail account had a picture of himself so when he looked around the cafe it was easy to spot Louis sitting at a booth as he looked down at his phone. Harry grabbed his cup and headed to the booth nervously then set the mug down and slid into the other side. Louis looked up from his phone and smiled.   "Hey." Harry said   "Hi. Sorry I was texting one of the nursery staffs about Freddie. He had a rough night last night so he's having a bad day today."   "Is he okay? Bad dream or something?" Harry asked concerned   "He has a problem of staying asleep, we live in the apartment complex and our upstairs neighbors stay up all night yelling at their game system."   "Melatonin. My mom swears by it when I was a toddler. I had to give mine some when she refused a nap even though she was exhausted a few years ago." Harry told him   "They have melatonin for kids?"   "Yeah, definitely get some for him if he wakes up at odd hours of the night. Also, you know my daughter."   "I do? I know a few Year 1, but not a lot. Who is she?" Louis asked   "Maddison Styles." Louis eyes widen and he grinned   "Yeah, I was just with her. She comes to see me every Tuesday and Thursday during her art class. She has a hard time concentrating in the room, so I took her to mine. I have a free period anyway, so I don't mind."   "Yeah, she's too much like me. Her and I have a sensory overwhelm with too much noise. We also have dyslexia, terrible dyslexia, mine is controlled most of the time now, but she's not doing so good with her reading or writing because she doesn't get at home help."   "Yeah, I figured that out when she wrote her name as Mabbison or Wappison more than a few times." Louis said grinning making Harry laugh nodding   "I had to get five different papers for her birth signing because I was so emotional when I was spelling her name, I messed it up. My mom had to take me to a quiet room and call me down before letting me write again. If was horrible. My patients look at my writing and I can see their confusion build as they try to decipher my spelling." Louis laughed covering his mouth with his hand, "anyway um I know this was meant to be a casual meeting to make sure we're not pedophiles or murders or whatever, but I did bring some copies of things just in case you want to see it. I'm not trying to make her out to be a horrible person, these are just some of the things I had copies of at home."   "Oh, now that I know you're Madison's dad and having met her mother I agree with you. She's a horrible person. I hate her. Today for example Maddison came to school in a dress without a jacket and without leggings. She was freezing, the school wasn't letting kids inside yet, so I let her in the side door to my classroom and gave her some of Freddie's sweatpants I keep in my car. Poor thing is in 3t sweatpants that stop at her shins."   "I have black leggings and a jacket in my car if you can give them to her. I always keep a small totes of season clothes for her just in case anything happens. Usually, the school calls me and tells me if something like this happens and usually, I'm at work so I have to ask someone to bring them for her. A few days ago, her teacher called me and told me Maddie came to school in dirty clothes and when I got there Maddie was in the nurses’ station crying. Apparently, her mother hadn't washed her clothes and that was all she had there. I called her as soon as I left the school and told her is, she didn't wash my daughter's clothes by the end of the day I'd report her to child services. Needless to say, that hasn't happened again, but September hasn’t even ended yet so who knows."   "Yeah, I can take them to her. I don't see how a parent can do such a thing. I always wash Freddie's clothes first then I do his bed sheets then I do the towel then I do my clothes and bedsheets last."   "Yeah, I wash her stuff at my house every two weeks so if I get her out of the blue, she has clean clothes and sheets."   "How long has it been since you last had her?"   "Her mother dropped her off at the hospital when I was working a few weeks ago but she came back right as my shift ended. Maddie was so upset because she thought she'd be able to stay the night. The last time I've had her over night was 16 months ago and I had for her two days because her mother and boyfriend were at a resort for the weekend."   "I couldn't imagine that." Louis said shaking his head, "Freddie is my world. I couldn't be separated from him. I barely manage a weekend away."   "So, does he call you Papa? I know that's the more traditional term for carriers."   "Yeah, most of the time. If he's upset, he'll call me mommy or mama. I am one of the lucky ones able to nurse, at least with Freddie. I heard some can't for their second child or third child. I think with every child the chances get lower. He called me mommy or mama until he was two and a half, so I think it brings him comfort. I don't mind either way."   "That's sweet. I wish I were a carrier. My sister and I had to play mommies and aunties instead of mommies and daddies because I always wanted to be the mommy. I'd shove the baby doll under my shirt and go through labor with my stepdad and everything. My mom held the seat rag to my forehead. We went all out, I demanded it. We were all convinced I was a carrier, then when I was seventeen, I  got tested and I wasn't. I was devastated. I cried so much; I remember convincing myself I was straight for years after that. That's how I got Maddison." Louis laughed unable to help himself   "You're joking."   "No. Not one bit. I thought if I wasn't a carrier there was no point in being gay, so I went straight."   "I was the complete opposite." Louis said, "I was always the daddy, I'm the oldest of five sisters and my mom finally gave me a brother a year ago. Two sets of twins. I demanded to be daddy because I didn't think I was a carrier. I thought I was straight until probably sixteen."   "Really?"   "Yeah, I just never really thought about it, I guess. My first boyfriend was when I was seventeen and we dated until he left after Freddie. I had him when I was twenty on March twenty-first and graduated early. He's turning five next year."   "You had him in school and finished your studies early?"   "Yeah, it was really hard, the first year was terrible, but I got my degree and took the first job I was offered that had the best benefits for us as a family."   "That's amazing. We had Maddison when I was in my foundation programme. I was twenty-four. She was born on May twentieth, so she'll be six two months after Freddie turns five. I started working at twenty-six. Hannah and I split then because I had to work so many night shifts, so she started cheating while I slept during the day. She took Maddie and left. We've been fighting since."   "So, you're thirty?"   "Almost thirty. Still in my twenties for four more months."   "Can't relate. Still got a few years." Louis said smirking making Harry throw a walled-up napkin at him. "Well, you look good for thirty." Louis teased   "Twenty-nine."   "Same thing." Louis said grinning as he watched Harry shake his head grinning as he stared off to the side before their eyes met. Louis knew that even if nothing came from this marriage besides Harry gaining his daughter, it wouldn't be a horrible marriage of convenience. Which made him feel better and he could tell Harry was relieved as well, both glad this wouldn't be a disaster.

 “I’m sure you have a lot of questions for me.” Harry said, “Especially considering how this came to be. I mean I know you see Maddie with her mom, so you understand some of it, but if you want to ask more feel free to do so.”

 “Besides the obvious reasons why go to craigslist?” Louis asked

 “Last resort? It had to be someone my friends didn’t know so I couldn’t ask anyone at the hospital. I tried dating, but it never went past a few texts. Having a daughter that I want full custody of sort of makes men run away. They don’t understand why I can’t just get a weekend a month and be happy with it. I’ve tried explaining the situation, but they don’t get it. Then it’s also my odd hours of my schedule. I’m a doctor at the hospital so I’m off and on and on call a lot. Makes it hard. My schedule is pretty tame, but it’s a pain to get use to and stuff like that.” Harry explained

 “Yeah, I get that. With Freddie…he’s my priority and obviously before I fully agree to anything, he has to like you too, but that can wait a bit. Make sure you’re not a weird murderer or something.”

 “Fair enough.” Harry said chuckling, “So I guess um…why did you offer to help? I know with a son this makes it more delicate, I mean obviously I’m hoping once we settle in, we can try for something real, but why offer?”

 “Any parent who wants to see their child should be able to. I would help anyone who was sincere enough. If you were one of those fathers trying to take their child away from their mother out of pettiness then I’d walk out of this building, but I’ve met Hannah. I’ve seen, I’ve seen the clothes she drops her daughter off in while she’s wearing the newest Gucci purse or whatever. I’ve been talking to school about it since the first day, but there isn’t much we can do. We can record it and file it away incase you ever need it for court, but unless she comes to school with bruises or starving, we don’t have grounds to call child services.”

 “So, Freddie’s other father?”

 “If he ever contacted me, I’d let him see Freddie. I’d talk to Freddie about it first, make him go to the first meeting and if he didn’t want to see him after that? I don’t know. Freddie has asked and I told him the truth, that his other father left a few weeks after he was born. So, it’d be Freddie’s chose after the first meeting and anyone I see would obviously at least respect that. They don’t have to like it or agree with it.”

 “I think people can change if the right person comes along. I hope for Freddie’s sake he contacts you a better man than when he left, but I also hope that if he hasn’t changed that he doesn’t drag Freddie into daddy issues.” Louis cracked a smile and nodded

 “Me too. They’re not fun.”

 “No not really. My biological dad left leaving my mom to feed two kids on one minimum wage paycheck. My stepdad came along and changed our lives basically.”

 “My biological father left when I was born. My stepdad came along and gave me his last name so he’s my dad. Then he and my mom split, and mom is married to Dan now. She just had twin girl and boy two years ago in February.”

 “Awe really? That’s sweet. I’m the youngest out of two kids. I have an older sister.”

 “I’m the oldest of seven kids. Goes me, my sisters Lottie, Fizzy, Phoebe and Daisy are twins then Doris and Ernest are twins and my baby sister and my only baby brother.”

 “That’s a lot of sisters.”

 “Yeah, I’ve had my fair share of handling little girls. I was six when Lottie came around, so I’ve been through it all.”

 “Well then I won’t stop Maddie from painting your nails a pretty pink color when I can’t be her victim in her nail salon. If she’s still into that stuff.” The last part was said sadly as he looked away

 “She is. If she’s done with her art assignment early, then I let her color my nails with markers. It washes off by lunch, but she doesn’t need to know that. She’s great. She is one of my favorite students in that school, whenever we see each other in the halls she absolutely has to shout hi Mr. Tommy each time. My students probably think she’s my niece or something. They call me Mr. T all the time and try to encourage her to do the same however I think she’s too shy to.” Harry was grinning as he played with his napkin listening to him

 “She’s very social. Always has been. There probably isn’t a stranger in the world she wouldn’t talk to. It’s a bad and good thing. I’ve tried to explain it to her, stranger danger and everything and she understands it, but I don’t think she realizes even a little hi can be dangerous in this world these days. Her mother scares me to death, I’ve seen Maddie run right upfront of cars sometimes and I swear my heart stops.”

 “Yeah, I’ve seen her do it too and it’s always the arrival or departure teacher stopping her from getting hit. Hannah will walk her to the crossing way but not to the actual sidewalk so it’s not the easiest thing to watch when I’m on duty. We can’t leave our posts except for emergencies so I have to navigate kids and cars and then watch her and make sure she’s safe. It’s ridiculous sometimes.”

 “Well thank you for doing what you can.”

 “It’s not much, but of course. I’d do it for any kid. Just thinking about Freddie in the same situation I would probably do the same thing you are. So, for now I’ll help, Freddie is what will be the deciding factor.”

 “We’ll talk more and figure it out?”

 “Yeah of course. I should go though I need to get back early today. I forgot today is Pop quiz day, my kids are going to hate me.”

 “Don’t worry about it. Thank you, Louis.” Harry and Louis stood up and walked out together, “My number is in the file I gave you so feel free to text me instead of emailing me if you want to.”

 “Alright. Thanks. I’ll talk to you later.”

 “Bye.” Harry and Louis were luckily enough to have parked on opposite ends of the car park, so they didn’t have to awkwardly walk beside each other to go to their respected cars. Harry grinned as he looked at the picture of Maddie, he stole off her mother’s Facebook. It was on her fifth birthday party; one he hadn’t been invited to or hadn’t even been told about. She was dressed in a flowy baby blue dress and her hair curled and she was half smiling as she sat on a chair surrounded by a few presents. He touched the picture that was hanging about his rear-view mirror before he sighed sadly and let it fall from his fingers before he started his Murano and headed out of the car park.

[athingthatwantsvirginia]

Wait to Find the Silver Lining

PART TWELVE OF THE DO YOU SEE HER FACE? SERIES

Pairing: Jess Mariano x Original Character (Ella Stevens)

Warnings: mentions of blood and injuries, plentiful pop culture references

Word Count: 3.8K

Summary: On the night of their first date, Ella and Jess end up in the emergency room.

For the first time in quite a while, Ella had the morning off, sitting with Rory and Lorelai at the diner’s counter for breakfast instead of standing on the opposite side to serve them. Mid-September, and the sun shone down on Stars Hollow warmly, but the breeze had already turned chilly. Autumn was falling on Connecticut fast. Due to shifts at the diner and the start of school, neither Jess nor Ella had been able to free up enough time for a real date. Of course, each lunch at school Jess bothered to show up to, and every shift at the diner brought them together. But Jess was anxious to truly take her out. He was partially convinced Luke had booked both of them up so much to prevent a date from ever happening, but Jess had argued with him enough to earn them both an early closing on Friday night. They were only scheduled until eight, instead of nine or ten.

Ella had begun feeling excitement and nerves well up inside her, and they only grew as the day approached. She’d assured him she would be paying for half of whatever they were doing, after the first date. She hadn’t gotten him to budge on the first date, though not for lack of trying. He wanted to show her all the upsides of dating, he’d said, like getting to go out for free. Sipping from her giant mug of tea, she felt her eyes flicking over to the checkered curtain from which Jess would appear at any moment. It was odd; she’d never had a real relationship, had never had such pleasant tension build within her.

“Hey, Stevens!” Lorelai exclaimed, breaking Ella’s reverie.

Ella blinked in surprise, exiting the cloud of her thoughts back to reality. “Sorry, sorry. What’s up?”

Lorelai snorted and rolled her eyes. “My god, you two are like puppies. Waiting to see lover boy this morning?”

Blushing, Ella let out an unconvincing scoff. “Lover boy wishes. Just got a lot on my mind, that’s all.”

“Like what your kids will look like?” Rory chimed in teasingly.

Ella groaned. “You guys keep this up, you’ll never be graced with my presence for breakfast again. And I’ll wait extra long to serve you your coffee tomorrow.”

Both Gilmore women narrowed their eyes at her.

“You wouldn’t dare,” Lorelai wagered.

“Try me,” Ella said, winking and taking another sip.

Luke ambled back over, having just delivered an order to a table by the front window. He’d caught the last bit of their conversation, stance grumpy and curmudgeonly as always when he stood in front of the three of them again. “You should see those two during shifts together. It’s like I’m not even here.”

“A hostile work environment, huh?” Lorelai asked, feigning sympathy.

Again, Ella rolled her eyes. She knew neither Luke nor Lorelai had yet warmed up to the idea of the two of them being together. She knew they feared her being corrupted, but she was confident enough in the head atop her own shoulders. Matters of the heart could always be handled.  

“Yeah, whatever. You’ll be spared the agony for a couple hours tonight, though. I’ve got some stuff to pick up from my aunt in New Britain. I’ll be here around six.”

Luke nodded. “At least some semblance of peace will be restored.”

Ella gave a doubtful look. “I wouldn’t speak too soon. Jess’ll still be here, after all.”

Right on cue, Jess trudged down the stairs and emerged from the curtain, rubbing a tired eye with the palm of his hand. A smirk crossed his features at the sight of Ella, though he was acutely aware of all the others witnessing the interaction.

“Hi,” he said, nodding a little at her.

“Hi,” Ella answered, smiling shyly.

“Ah, speak of the Satan,” Lorelai said.

Jess didn’t give more than a momentary glance Lorelai’s way before going to grab a coffee to-go and a donut from under one of the glass domes.

“That’s not the saying, mom,” Rory piped up, raising an eyebrow at Lorelai.

Lorelai nodded over her coffee. “I know. But I think it fits him better. A little more umph, y’know?”

.   .   .

A rag thrown over her shoulder, Ella hummed under her breath and tried to fight the smile threatening to brighten her face. It was only seven-thirty, after all. She could wait another half hour to truly feel the excitement. Luke would surely scold her if she was too giddy as they closed up, and she wanted to get through the night without being yelled at for a lack of professionalism. The boss had been in a worse mood than usual lately, and Ella sensed it was not entirely due to her and Jess’s new relationship. Blondie lyrics flew from her mouth in a happy whisper as she stacked the chairs on the cleaned tabletops. She could hear the sloshing of water and clinking of plates from the back, Jess on dish duty. Luke was restocking some items in the back. She bounced a little on her heels as she walked, weaving through the tables. Before work, she’d been able to see her aunt, going to fetch the items she’d left over the summer but kept forgetting to pick up. It brightened her mood even more. She pushed up the sleeves of her black shirt as she kept working, smoothing her denim mini-skirt with anxious hands.

“I gotta go to Doose’s for a few things,” Luke announced as he exited the stock room. “Be back in about thirty minutes, alright?”

“Sure. I’ll manage,” Ella nodded, throwing him a good-natured smile.

Luke snorted a chuckle. “Just don’t let Jess burn the place down.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

Not more than five minutes later, Ella was almost finished with the front of house work. Supplies were placed in proper cubbies behind the counter, menus were wiped off, leftover pastries put away. Tucking her hair behind her ears, she put her hands on her hips and racked her brain to make sure there was no task she had forgotten.

“Ow! Dammit!” she heard Jess exclaim from the back, hissing in pain.

Ella furrowed her brows and rushed to the back. “What’s wrong?”

He stood before the steaming vat of dishes, water tinged pink, gripping his left hand firmly in his right. Blood was leaking through his fingers and down his arms, leaving thin, reddish streaks.

“I was reaching in the dish pit and I guess I hit a rogue knife and now here we are!” Jess recounted angrily, through gritted teeth.

As Ella stepped forward, she reached for his injury and he flinched out of instinct.

“Just let me see,” she said softly, and he slowly took his right hand away.

With a gentle touch, she grabbed his left wrist and assessed the cut. There was a deep slice from the base of his pinky down halfway to his wrist. Ella knew the knife which had cut him was almost positively from the kitchen, not one of the dull patron’s utensils. Clicking her tongue in exasperation, she reached above the dish pit to grab a clean towel and pressed it to the wound. He held it there when she took her hands away.

Sighing through her nose, she took him by the shoulder and began guiding him to the front. “That’s gonna need stitches. C’mon, I came from New Britain so I’ve got my car. We’re going to the emergency room.”

Jess’s eyes widened and his pale forehead shone with a light sheen of sweat. “What? No! Let’s just wait until Luke gets back. He can use superglue or something.”

Scribbling a note on the pad from the apron she still wore, she snorted doubtfully. “Wait for Luke while you bleed out? Yeah, right. That’s a deep fucking cut, Jess. Let’s go now. He’ll see the note when he gets back and he’ll meet us there.”

“It’s not even that bad,” he argued, pressing harder on his left hand in hopes of making the bleeding stop.

She scoffed. “Okay, tough guy. Let’s just go for my own peace of mind then, alright?”

While speaking, she’d slammed the frantic note down on the counter and gone to the hanger near the door to grab her bag and keys. Inside, her heart was pounding in her chest and thumping in her ears, but she tried to exhibit outward calm. Color had drained from Jess’s face, and the redness seeped through the white towel he held to the cut.

“But what about tonight?” Jess asked after a moment, disappointment in his voice.

Ella offered a small smile, bringing a hand to his back and leading him out the door. She made sure to lock it as they rushed out. “We’ll do it next weekend, okay? I’ll enjoy dating a lot more if my date is alive.”

“I’m sorry,” he grumbled, slightly dazed as he followed her onto the sidewalk and to her car, parked right behind Luke’s truck outside the front door of the diner.

“Don’t apologize, Jess,” she said, going around to the driver’s side and unlocking it.

Before Jess could attempt to open his door, Ella ran back around and opened it for him. He nodded at her gratefully, though a blush heated up his cheeks as he sat down. As she shut her creaky driver’s side door with a slam! and started up the sputtering engine, Jess managed to click his seatbelt into its place on his own, despite Ella’s attempts to help him.

“For the record, I didn’t mean I was sorry about this,” he said, gesturing to his bloody hand. “I meant I was sorry about how much I’m gonna make fun of this car. What the hell are you doing driving a station wagon, Stevens?”

She laughed as she pulled away from Luke’s, doing her best to remain under the speed limit and not run the stop signs.

.   .   .

Ammonia and disinfectant burned her nostrils, and she had to blink back the wateriness in her eyes. The walls of the small hospital room were a blinding white, and the flickering of the fluorescent lights was almost nauseating. But Ella kept a calm tone as she ran her hand up and down over Jess’s back, sitting next to him on the exam table, which was covered with crinkling white paper.

The nurse cleaned out Jess’s cut with freezing cold water, and Jess tried his best to not let the pain cross his features. Instead, he listened to Ella, distracting him with random rankings of songs. He disagreed with her judgement frequently, starting weak but playful arguments. When the cut was cleaned, the nurse, a man with a tired face and kind blue eyes, set Jess’s hand palm-up on a small silver table before them, sterile tools set around it. The nurse interrupted their conversation when he brought out a syringe, and explained he would have to give Jess shots inside the cut in order to numb it before sewing it up. Jess nodded, gulping as he straightened up slightly and prepared himself. He blew out a long breath and his face paled even more.

Ella, sitting to his right, grabbed his uninjured hand and squeezed. “You okay?”

“Yeah, yeah,” he assured her, trying to hide his grimace at the thought of what was about to happen. “I just...I don’t like needles.”

“Oh. Well, don’t look at it,” Ella said, trying to calm him as she glanced down at his hand, into which the nurse was about to stick the syringe filled with a numbing agent. “I guess that means matching tattoos are out of the question, huh?”

“I’d say so,” he replied, chuckling.

“Damn,” she shook her head, teasing. “I guess I won’t end up with Jack Nicholson’s face on my ass after all.”

Jess grunted a little and squeezed her hand tighter as the nurse gave him the first shot. Using her free hand to rub circles over his back again, she gave him a quick peck on the cheek to reassure him. In spite of himself, Jess couldn’t help but lean into her touch.

.   .   .

The process was painful but quick, and Ella managed to keep Jess’s muted laughter going through the whole thing. Jess didn’t think it was possible to smile with a curved needle stitching up his flesh. And while the numbing had been upsetting in its own way, he could barely feel the actual sewing. Ella’s thin hand drew rhythmic circles on his back, and the nurse was just snipping up the thread by the time Luke ran into the room. Other than his baseball cap sitting slightly askew and the frantic look in his eyes, he’d maintained his gruff, stoic mask.

“Nice of you to show, Uncle Luke,” Jess drawled flatly, the nurse winding white gauze around his hand.

Luke frowned at him, and was about to retort, but the nurse piped in to instruct Jess not to get the wound wet and to come back in a few days to get the stitches pulled out. Nodding in thanks and understanding, Jess told the man he was good to go. Then, there were three. And Luke stood with his hands on his hips and stared the two of them down. Even after a few weeks, it was still unnerving to see their hands clasped together.

Sighing through his nose, Luke cleared his throat and tried to keep calm. “Why didn’t you come over and get me before driving all the way out here?”

“I didn’t want Jess to die inside the diner. I hear it brings down retail costs,” she said defensively.

Jess snorted.

Luke rolled his eyes but nodded, could see the panic still painted on her face. He crossed his arms over his chest and stepped towards them. There was a long, awkward silence before he finally spoke. “Alright. I’m sorry. Thanks for...driving.”

Ella nodded in earnest. “You’re welcome.”

“But you can go home, alright? I still have some paperwork and stuff to fill out,” Luke said tiredly.

Nodding again, Ella cast a glance at Jess. He flexed his injured hand once or twice, testing it out.

“Don’t worry, Stevens. I’m good,” he said, catching the worry in her face. “At least I’ll get off dish pit for a little while.”

“That’s true,” she said. “Wait to find the silver lining, Mr. Sunshine.”

Jess scoffed. “Whatever, Daria.”

“Ugh, it’s sickening,” Luke groaned, rolling his eyes at the interaction.

Ella snickered, shaking her head slightly as she stood up. “I’ll see you later, Mariano.”

“Seems that way. Just drive a little slower on the way home, huh?” he scolded, looking over to speak to Luke. “Speed Racer over here couldn’t stay less than twenty over the limit.”

“Traitor,” she shot back, smirking. “You should get them to give you a sticker, kid. You were very brave.”

Jess feigned a glare and was about to retort, but she pecked his lips instead and gave his shoulder a final squeeze. Ella grabbed her bag and made for the hallway.

As she passed Luke, she gave a joking salute. “Happy to be of service, boss.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he grumbled. “Tomorrow morning, okay?”

“I’ll be there.”

.   .   .

Her shift, a double, passed little by little. The hands of her watch seemed to slow down each time she took a peek, torturous, glacial ticking. Luke had his hands full with Caesar at a doctor’s appointment in the morning and Jess with the day off. The extra work helped the day go by, if nothing else. She’d asked after Jess, and Luke said only that he was out. It made Ella all but laugh, biting back a smirk as she thought of Jess rushing out in the morning with a Walmart vest hidden somewhere on his person. Shangri-la, indeed. She knew he had to be back at some point, though, and had asked to help close, get a little overtime. Luke never refused her for overtime. Especially not after the period following her mother’s death when the diner’s leftovers had been pretty much the only thing keeping her household afloat.

On her lunch break, she’d skipped the meal and instead made trips to both the video store and the makeshift movie house. Kirk somehow was in charge of both places for the day, and it had taken almost all of her patience to negotiate favors with him. She’d promised to make three of her rhubarb pies for the diner the next weekend. Everyone in town hated rhubarb except Kirk.

The evening brought rain, and it made Ella feel cozy as she closed up the diner. Luke was back dealing with the dishes, what with Jess down for the count. Caesar hummed some eighties song while he cleaned the kitchen, but somehow managed to leave early despite the time and energy his closing dance moves took up. Ella was almost finished with everything, nothing left but to sweep up, by nine. She was almost worried Jess wouldn’t return and her plan would fall through, but he ran over from the bus stop at five past nine. His leather jacket was slick with rainwater and his hair was dripping, but his stitched hand was dry in his pocket and he still cracked a smile when he saw Ella.

“You should buy an umbrella,” she said, scrunching up her nose as she ran a hand through his wet locks.

Jess only shrugged. “I like to live dangerously.”

“I’ve noticed. How’s your hand?” she asked, resuming her work on the floor while Jess took a seat at a stool by the counter.

Again, the nonchalant shrug. “Won’t be modelling bracelets any time soon, but I’ll live.”

“Glad to hear it,” she said, then went over and placed the broom in the corner near the stockroom where it belonged. She couldn’t hide her smile; she loved both giving and receiving surprises. “So. Got any plans tonight?”

“Thought I’d crack the books,” he said, shrugging off his jacket. “Geometry, American History, really work on that ol’ GPA.”

Ella rolled her eyes, then came over in front of him. He laced his arms around her waist. With the customers all gone, Ella felt more comfortable with PDA. “Be careful, one of these days someone’s gonna take you seriously and you’ll have to make good on your word.”

“Thanks for the warning.”

“Anytime,” she quipped. “Anyway, I thought we should do our ‘official date’ tonight, instead of next weekend.”

Jess rolled his eyes at her air-quotes, and sighed through his nose. “It’s past nine in Stars Hollow. Nothing’s open.”

She feigned deep thought. “I think ‘nothing’ is far too absolute a term. You’d be surprised.”

“Oh, would I?” he teased, eyebrows raised.

“Yeah, Mariano, I think you would.”

.   .   .

Hands entwined, Jess and Ella ran down Main Street towards the movie house, only partially shielded by store awnings. She had refused to tell him exactly what was going on, only that he better be hungry for popcorn. By the time they made it in through the front door, Ella’s long hair, tied half-up, half-down, was frizzy and damp. But her cheeks were rosy and her smile was wide. The night had cooled down, and the heat in the movie house was welcome. Immediately, she shed her coat and hung it on the hook by the door. Jess followed, then trailed behind her as she made her way over to the ancient popcorn machine. There was one solitary bucket, kept warm in the center. Kirk stood beside it, looking stoic with his work vest, hands clasped in front of each other.

“Evening, patrons,” he said in a clipped tone, handing her the bucket.

Ella nodded, smirking. “Evening, Kirk. You can call us by our names.”

Kirk shook his head slightly, refusing to make direct eye contact. “Professionalism is always a top priority at the Stars Hollow Movie House, ma’am.”

“This isn’t even a real movie house and I bribed you with pie to do this showing,” Ella retorted.

Jess scoffed, smirking widely.

Sighing, Kirk finally met her eyes and his shoulders dropped in disappointment. “Ella, I’m an employee. I take all my jobs very seriously. I’m asking you to respect that.”

She bit back her smile and raised a hand in surrender. “You’re right. I’m sorry. Thank you for doing this. You’ll have your pie by next weekend.”

Kirk swallowed dryly, then returned to his solemn stance, offering nothing more. Jess cast Ella a suspicious glance, but she only took his uninjured hand again and led him to the red couch at the front of the room, nearest the projector screen. As soon as they sat down, the lights dimmed and they could hear Kirk booting up the projector.

“You paid him in pie?” he asked.

“It’s the universal currency.”

“I was gonna pay for our first date,” he argued, pouting slightly.

She shrugged. “Well, you can’t always get what you want, as the Stones would say.”

“Next time?” he asked, eyebrows raised.

“Yes, Jess, if it’ll make you happy. Next time.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, jackass,” she replied, rolling her eyes at his stubbornness.

He let his eyes roam over the movie house, a place he didn’t remember ever stepping foot in. Dusty bookshelves flanked either side of the large screen. The air smelled like old, weathered pages and the buttery popcorn in the bucket at Ella’s side. Jess wasn’t sure, but he thought he could hear the heavy rain on the tin roof above. He wondered what the building had originally functioned as, considering it looked just like a suburban cottage. Ella’s hand in his, he felt almost comfortable enough to fall asleep on the huge red couch, despite his excited nerves and wet hair and bandaged hand.

“Okay, Stevens, the suspense is killing me,” Jess said after a pause, gesturing to the screen.

A mischievous grin crossed her face and she planted a kiss on his cold cheek.

“Since last night you had a fight with a knife, not to be confused with a knife fight,” she teased, ignoring the playful nudge Jess gave her with his elbow, “I figured having a private screening of one of Cameron Crowe’s masterpieces might make you feel better.”

Almost rendered speechless for a moment, Jess felt his heart flutter in his chest. A small, sincere smile crossed his face. “Well, Almost Famous is the best medicine for pretty much every ailment.”

She nodded, conspiratorial. “I whole-heartedly agree. It’s second only to Stephen King.”

Jess sighed through his nose, shaking his head. “You were so close to sounding refined.”

She snorted. “Hypocrite.”

As the bluish light of the projection came on the screen, the familiar music started and warmed Jess’s heart more than he would ever outwardly admit. They faced the movie, and spoke in hushed tones. He hoped the darkness would conceal his blush.

“Thank you, Eleanor, you didn’t have to do this,” he said, almost shyly.

“I wanted to.”

He looked over at her, and could see the image reflected in her hazel eyes. Bringing a hand to her cheek, gently turning her head, he pressed his lips to hers and smiled into the kiss.

[hedwigstalons]

High Expectations - Ch15

Yup, this beast is still going and still growing.  Life sapped my energy so it has been a lot longer between updates than I would have liked but I’ve been experimenting with writing out of sequence to make use of whatever creativity I can grasp.  The plus side of this is that ch16 is in the editing stages and ch17 is also half written.  But anyway....it’s taken a while but here is ch15 in the saga that has become affectionately termed ‘Bad Jeff’.

@willow-salix has been wonderful at helping be fix the plot holes and pick out the parts where I contradicted myself.  I now have a proper timeline though (funky multicoloured spreadsheet and everything) so I shouldn’t tie myself in knots so much with the boys ages and milestones.

Earlier parts: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven, Twelve, Thirteen, Fourteen

AO3 chapter link

Chapter Fifteen

The incoming call notification had Virgil scrambling for his phone, fumbling with the handset while trying to swipe a call accept icon that suddenly seemed too small and fiddly to be practical.  It took him three hasty attempts before managing to complete the action correctly, allowing him to finally speak to the brother who had been frustratingly out of contact.  Scott had been in LA for three days and Virgil was now desperate for news but he had promised he wouldn’t interfere lest he call at the wrong moment and inflame matters further.  It had been a nail-biting wait, forcing himself to be patient and trust Scott to call when he could.

“Scott, how is it?”  It took him a moment to register that the face on the screen wasn’t Scott’s despite what the caller ID proclaimed.  “Gordon?”  He was surprised to see a younger brother rather than an older one.

“Don’t sound so pleased to see me.”  There was an air of the old teasing Gordon making a slow return.

“Sorry.   Of course I’m pleased to see you,” and he genuinely was, the face that looked back at him was still too thin and pale for comfort but the hair was clean again and the eyes had lost their haunted glaze, “I just wasn’t expecting it.  Where’s Scott?”

“He’s here too.”  The scene on Virgil’s screen shifted quickly as the handset at the other end was spun round to reveal its rightful owner who gave a little wave.  “He said he was going to call you so I asked if I could go first.”

“Well, how are you?”

“I’m....okay.”  Virgil had made him promise in the past not to lie about how he was feeling, it was one of the reasons he had been pulling away; it didn’t count as lying if you just omitted the truth.  “It’s been a strange few days.”

“I’ll bet.”

“For a start I’ve found out that flyboy over there gets ever so twitchy if anyone else is at the controls of a plane.  You’d best hope you never have to take him as a passenger in that bumble bee of yours if it ever gets off the drawing board.  Or was it more like a turtle, that beast was green wasn’t it?”  The look of fear that crossed Virgil’s face would have been comical if it wasn’t so genuine and Gordon was given the sudden reminder that, as far as Virgil was concerned, he wasn’t meant to know about their father’s vision.  He was quick with his reassurances.  “It’s okay, Dad told me about his rescue plans”

“He still won’t tell Alan though” Scott called out from across the room, “Dad has taken him out to fetch ice cream so we can talk freely for a few minutes.”

“Ice cream?”

“Yeah,  I think he’s just trying to cover some of his own guilt.  He’s still no Dad of the year though.”  Scott's tone was derisive and Virgil could tell that tensions must still be running high.  “He’s going to have to tell him sooner or later, he can’t just spring it on the kid that he is being dragged out of school and shunted across the world when the island move happens.”

“What, you mean like he gave us time to prepare for the move to LA?”  Gordon snorted.  “I don’t know about you guys but me and Alan didn’t exactly get much warning when we left Kansas.”

This surprised the older two who had known all about the plan, the many arguments were etched in their memories.  In this case the problem child had been John.  Scott had been making the transition from university to the Air Force and Virgil had been busy preparing for his studies at Denver but John had been on a path that didn’t align with their father’s business plans.  The fifteen year old, with a coveted place at Harvard nearly in his grasp, had begged to stay so he could finish high school without interruptions; he had worked hard to stay two grades ahead of the curve and an inter-state move could undo it all.  Of course letting John live alone had been out of the question, and Jeff had not been prepared to delay the move, leading to  flares of temper and defiance that none of them had realised the middle child was capable of.  It was only when Grandma stepped in, offering to return from New Mexico to become custodian of the farm and care for John during that final year that their father relented.  With all of the concerns over John and his university dreams it hadn’t occurred to either of them that the youngest two hadn’t been told about the move.  Evidently their father’s policy of ‘need to know’ was long running. 

“Don’t worry Gords, Scott and I will make sure that Alan gets told.  If Dad’s idea happens, and knowing Dad it probably will, Alan won’t just have another move sprung on him.  I promise.”  There was sincere honesty in those deep brown eyes and Gordon gave a subtle nod of thanks.  “So tell me everything that has been happening over the last few days.”

Gordon recounted everything that had happened since Scott’s arrival, prompted by said older brother if he missed anything out.  Virgil winced at the revelations.  Even with the sanitised highlights he could tell that the last few days had been an emotional rollercoaster.  In some cases the revelations were beyond his worst fears and he couldn’t help feeling proud of his little brother who had been living through harder circumstances than any of them had imagined.

“Which brings us to today,” Gordon brought the tale up to the present, “Dad’s decided I need to learn to fly seeing as this island he’s chosen isn’t exactly on the commercial air routes.  Alan’s going to start learning too; Dad wasn’t happy about that idea but Scott reminded him that he started learning at Alan’s age.  You should have seen him up there, Alan is an absolute natural.”  Gordon’s voice glowed with pride at the achievements of his little brother.

“You didn’t do badly yourself” Scott cut in from across the room.

“So why were your knuckles white the whole time?”

“Hey, as you said, I just like being the one in control.  It was no different when Dad was piloting and he’s clocked up more flight hours than the rest of us put together.”

“I can just imagine it” Virgil snorted, “you should’ve seen him supervising John when he was learning to drive.”

Gordon glanced across at Scott who had visibly paled at the memory, before turning his attention back to Virgil. “So yeah, I’ve now got to fit in pilot training and exams around getting back up to strength for WASP selection.”

“And WASP is definitely what you want?  You aren’t just going along with it so you can get away from Dad?  I know you’ll be able to do it, but please don’t enlist unless you’re really sure.”

Gordon wasn’t sure if that was the concerned older brother or the family pacifist speaking; WASP was still military after all and Virgil had made no secrets of his thoughts in that direction.  But equally Virgil knew how stubborn he was and how he would never back down from a challenge and had managed to resolve his difference with Scott over the Air Force so he chalked the questions up to brotherly concern.

“Yeah, I’m sure.  It’s a good life Virg, something I can really make a career out of and the opportunities for officers…”

“Officer?” This definitely surprised the distant sibling.  The widened eyes elicited a slight blush from Gordon.

“Um, yeah, that was Scott’s idea.”  He was still having a little trouble reconciling himself to the notion that he was cut out to lead.  

“Not just my idea” said brother called out from his perch on the bed, “the Marineville lot wanted to transfer you to officer training too.  This time round you’ll just be applying for the officer steam from the beginning.”

“As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted,”  Gordon shot Scott a glare of mock indignation, earning a chuckle from Virgil “it’s a good life.  And yes, this time I’ll be trying out as an officer.  I’ll have to redo the aptitude tests, different benchmarks and all that, but we’ve been looking into it and my scores were already at the right level.  There’s just one additional aptitude test for officers that I never took before.  I’ve tried an online practice test and did ok so I should be alright.  I’m booked in to take it for real in a fortnight.  After that it’s selection at Marineville again and then hopefully I’m in.  It’ll take a few months but by the summer I should have my first posting.  The officer intakes don’t happen as frequently as junior ranks so I’ve got time to train.”

“You seem to have it all mapped out and not a college course in sight.”

“Nope.  Thanks, both of you.  It’s...it’s been a hard few months and I couldn’t see a way out of it all.”

There was a noticeable slump in Gordon’s posture and the light went out of his eyes as the memories of his recent trials flooded back in.  It broke Virgil’s heart to see how on a knife edge his brother still was and he knew he and Scott would need to keep a close eye on their younger sibling for a long while yet.  At least Gordon had a goal to work towards again; they both knew his steely determination and drive to succeed. Once he had set his sights on a challenge nothing would stop him, the Olympics had proved that.

“Any time.  And don’t be a stranger.  If Dad starts getting on your case again or you just need to talk to someone you know where I am.  I’ve been told my couch is pretty comfy too if this new schedule of training and flying lessons allows you any time off.”

“Admit it, you just want me back for my cooking” Gordon smirked.

“Maybe…” Virgil gave his best puppy dog eyes, eliciting a chuckle from both his brothers.

Any further chatter was interrupted by the sound of the apartment door crashing open, announcing the return of Jeff and Alan from the grocery store, followed by Alan’s shouts that if they didn’t get out there quick there would be no chocolate chip left for them.  Both knew better than to treat this as an idle threat so with a hurried goodbye to Virgil they departed to claim their portions.

 xoxoxox

Life soon settled into a new routine.  Jeff still rarely made it back for dinner, they couldn’t expect miracles over night, but he was getting better at being home before Alan went to bed at least.  Gordon suspected that had something to do with the ‘discussion’ Scott had with Jeff the night before he returned to his Air Force base.  The voices that drifted through the firmly shut study door had shown a flare of temper from both sides and Gordon had been grateful Alan was already in bed and so not around to witness the argument.  It was just as well Tracys were good at putting on a front, by the morning of Scott’s departure the tension had been firmly suppressed and Alan had been able to say goodbye to his eldest brother without any hint of bad feeling spoiling the moment. 

Where life before the Olympics had been a mix of school and swimming, so life for Gordon going forwards became a mix of physical training and flight theory with time in the air thrown in at the weekends.   He passed the WASP officer aptitude test easily enough but the next available selection course date wasn’t until after his birthday, leaving him with several months to focus on gaining the appropriate endorsements on his pilot’s licence to allow him to transport himself to and from his father’s intended island base.  

Gordon wasn’t bad at flying but he didn’t possess the raw natural talent of his youngest sibling.  He was competent and thorough with a steady hand but he couldn’t miss the looks of pride Jeff directed towards Alan as yet again the youngest of the family performed a manoeuvre as if he had been at the control yoke since birth.  It didn’t stop at looks either, all too often Gordon found himself on the receiving end of an unfavourable comparison only this time it was against his younger brother as opposed to his older ones and the arena was cockpit rather than classroom performance.  Evidently, for Jeff, old habits were hard to quell.

This time though Gordon wasn’t facing his troubles alone.  Scott would check in with him occasionally until an overseas posting took him out of contact but Virgil was his real lifeline.  Virgil made sure there was never more than a week between calls and often the gaps were smaller if he sensed Gordon slipping back and becoming more distant.  The brother who had taken on the role of counselor seemed to have an uncanny intuition when it came to Gordon’s mood.   

The extended time around his father however was still proving difficult and Gordon found himself eagerly boarding a flight to Denver to catch a much needed break.

As ever, Virgil was there to meet him at the airport.

“Good flight?”

“It was ok.”

“Not tempted to crash the cockpit then?”

Gordon just rolled his eyes and carried on out to the taxi ranks.  To his surprise though Virgil directed the cab to take them to the smaller private airfield out of town rather than the apartment.

“Sorry Gords” he got in response to his querying look.  “You know Dad said you gotta keep up your air time and this was the only runway slot I could get.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know the deal.”  One of the conditions of a weekend with Virgil was that he got some time in the sky to make up for the lesson he was missing with his father.  “Are you alright with me taking up your baby?”

“I trust you” Virgil shrugged.  He wasn’t quite as in love with and overprotective of his plane as Scott was of his, but neither was he going to let on to Gordon that he had had a long and in depth discussion with their father about Gordon’s ability and competence before he had agreed to help with Gordon’s pilot education.

Gordon always thought it odd that Virgil had a plane but didn’t bother to run his own car, although the longer he spent in the air the more he could see the appeal.  Scott of course had always loved flight and it was no surprise to anyone that a big proportion of his allowance went on maintaining a craft that screamed billionaire playboy.  Virgil’s choice was more subtle and practical, if operating your own private plane counted as practical; perfect for hopping around the country from his central base in Denver to visit family on his own schedule.  Despite also being in possession of big enough allowance to afford it John had neither car nor plane having declared that flying commercial was much more sensible for his main coast to coast journey and he wasn’t one for pleasure flying; he was much more interested in what lay outside the atmosphere, far beyond the reach of a mere plane.

At the airfield Virgil maneuvered his little hopper out of the hanger he stored her in and then passed control over to Gordon.

“Go on then, show me what you can do” Virgil prompted after giving Gordon a quick rundown of the specific take off speed and other essential details he would need to operate the plane safely.  He settled back in the co-pilot's chair, exuding a calm confidence despite itching to keep his hands on the controls; Gordon might be his brother and Jeff had given assurances that all would be well but Virgil was still uncomfortably aware that he has supervising an unlicensed novice pilot.  

His fears were soon dispelled once Gordon started going through the motions in textbook fashion including performing his own pre-flight checks despite having watched those same checks being performed just a few minutes earlier.  A short burst down the runway and they were up in the air.  It wasn’t graceful and Gordon lacked the finesse that came with experience but Virgil was pleasantly surprised at the amount of  progress Gordon had made in such a short space of time.

The problem with flying though is that unless you are practicing something like aerobatics then just keeping a plane in the air is actually pretty easy, it’s the take off and landing that takes skill.  They weren’t making a journey so there was no real navigation to do beyond avoiding the restricted airspace and corridors used by the commercial flights and the weather was clear so flying by instruments was unnecessary.  All in all it was a thoroughly untaxing lesson, allowing them to relax and enjoy the time together.

“So how’s your project going?” Gordon asked as he banked to avoid flying directly over a village.

“It’s okay.  I’m on track to be done by the summer.”

“What will you do after that?  Move back to LA or stay out here?”

“Neither, hopefully.”  Gordon gave his brother a questioning glance of surprise.  “Got to get space rated for Dad’s project.  Me and John’ll be heading out to Tracy College for that, just waiting for confirmation of a course place.”

“Space rated?”  He had realised John would need to undergo astronaut training in preparation for life on a space station but most of the project specifics were still a mystery to him.

“Yeah.  Someone’s got to be able to play taxi service for John and I might need to take a rotation on call monitoring; he can’t live off planet forever.”

“Sounds like plans are really coming together for it.  Does this mean Scott will need to get space rated at Tracy College too?”

“Scott…”  There was a heavy pause and Gordon took his eye off the sky to regard his brother.  Virgil’s brow had furrowed into a frown and when he spoke again there was a heaviness that told of hidden arguments.  “Scott isn’t joining, he’s sticking to the Air Force.”

This surprised Gordon.  In the few conversations he had had with his father about the project, usually confined to a cockpit where Alan couldn’t overhear, Scott was talked about like Virgil was, as a committed member of the team. His role as first responder and pilot of the envisioned rocket plane had been presented in terms of undisputed fact.  No wonder the topic made Virgil look stormy, he was a peacemaker and if Scott wasn’t fitting in with their father’s vision Gordon could imagine that the arguments had been many and explosive.

“Oh.”

“Yeah.  Oh.”

“So what’s going to happen there?  Surely you can’t manage with just the three of you?”

“I don’t know.  I’d like to think there is a contingency plan but Dad seems so sure Scott’s going to change his mind and do it.  They’re both as stubborn as mules though and neither wants to give up their dream.  It’s a good project, the tech looks amazing and we could really save lives.  I can see Scott’s point though, he’s made a life for himself away from Dad and, well, you know yourself what Dad can be like for giving orders.”

Gordon knew all too well what it felt like to be on the receiving end of those orders, particularly when they were at odds with your own plans.  At least Scott had the advantage of physical distance as a buffer to the disapproval and if push came to shove, if Jeff cut Scott off as punishment, the Air Force pay was enough to live on even if it meant Scott had to change his lifestyle to suit the lower budget.

Gordon made the final approach back towards the airfield, diverting the full attention of both brothers to monitoring the landing.  As with the take off it wasn’t polished and it wasn’t pretty but it was safe and Virgil found himself once again admiring just how far his brother had come in such a short space of time.  He wondered if, given time, Gordon would join the team.  Jeff hadn’t made any mention of Gordon taking on a role in the rescue organisation, even if he was now allowed to know of its existence, but there was no denying that having an extra pilot on books could only be a good thing.  Maybe one day he and Gordon would fly together, the more time he spent with his brother the more he enjoyed the company although, Virgil reflected, if they were to fly as a team he would be happier if Gordon took the co-pilot’s position.

With the plane back on the ground and safely returned to her berth in the hangers Virgil pushed all thoughts of Gordon joining the rescue business out of his mind; unless their father issued the instruction there was no point even considering the option.  And anyway, Gordon was heading off to the military like Scott had so who knew if he would even want to join the project.  Better to just let their father know that the required flying lesson had gone without a hitch then settle back to enjoy the weekend. 

[shutupandshipit]

Blood and Diamonds - Part 1

Summary: "Welcome to the stage... Lilith.”

Or where Neil is a stripper at the Days' strip club when Ichirou doesn't need him for family business, and Andrew is Kevin's bodyguard. It's only Andrew's second month as Kevin's bodyguard and it had been pretty boring up until then, but it only takes one night in the Days' club for things to get just a little more interesting. For both him and Neil.

Pairing: Andreil

Rating: M

Part 2: Gold -> Next

Part 3 -> coming soon

Author’s Note:  This is going to be a three part work, but most of the chapters are going to be pretty long compared to my usual. Anyway, this is literally a major fuck it fic for me, to be honest. I am writing this solely for the pleasure of doing so.

Part 1: Lilith

Andrew wasn't one for strip clubs. He didn't like them. He didn't like the people that frequented them. He didn't like the look of them. Most of them were dirty and degrading, dark and damp with lust. Plus, most of the strippers were usually women unless you went to a very specific club. If he really needed to get off that badly, he had other means of finding a source.

Still, he found himself wandering into an all genders club at Kevin's side, eyes skipping from one table to another.

Being Kevin Day's bodyguard had been as tame and boring as he'd imagined it would be. They did get into trouble from time to time, running about on whatever adventure the heir to Kayleigh Day's drug empire wanted. He'd only had the job for a short month, and was ready for something new to spice it up.

He just hadn't imagined that thing would be the strip club that his father and the Days ran as a cover for their drug laundering.

“It'll be fine, Minyard. Try to have some fun. Find someone you like. Drink a little. It is an all genders club. There's someone out there for everyone,” Kevin said when they paused just passed the front doors to look over the dim room and black stage with its two shiny poles leading up to the towering ceiling. The room was almost too dark to see, lit with sultry crimson light and candles in red vases on every table. Barely noticeable waiters and waitresses in conservative black uniforms moved silently around the room, taking and delivering orders.

It was a much cleaner and classier set up than Andrew had imagined. “If I found this fun, I wouldn't have to be dragged along under the guise of work.”

A waitress looking like she was on the verge of crying stopped at Kevin's elbow. “Sir, good evening. We haven't seen you in awhile.”

Kevin's mouth went from scowling to his people-winning smile in an instant. The smile he wore for the public, for his sick mouth. “Raven, evening. How have things been around here?”

“Fine. Josten got into a fight with Leverett again, but Boyd and Wildes broke it up pretty quickly,” she told him, jumping on the question like a puppy hoping to be praised.

Kevin sighed. “Again? Over what? How were they even in the same room with the schedule the way it is?”

“Something about stealing Leverett's customer. She came in on her off time to argue with him.”

“Typical.” His eyes drifted towards Andrew, musing. “He is the best though, and Leverett is... inattentive. When is Neil supposed to perform tonight?”

Raven glanced down at a watch on her wrist, small and discreet. “Ten minutes, and then at closing with the rest of the Foxes.” Kevin nodded at her, and she filled the silence before there could be any. “Jeremy and Thea are upstairs entertaining in the VIP room tonight. Mr. Moriyama is visiting, and they came in on their day off to minimize potential collateral damage.”

Kevin nodded, glancing towards the stairs leading to the upper floors as his smile struggled to remain in place. “Right, he told me he'd be here. I'll have to give them a bonus.” Turning to Andrew, he said, “Well, I'm going to go speak with Riko. Make yourself at home. Watch some of the acts. We're staying here tonight, and Nicky should take over soon, so get drunk. Take from Cracker Dust. Take someone to bed at the end of the night. I don't care, but if I come down here and you're not three sheets to the wind, I'm going to strangle you.” He said everything with a smile before turning, Raven following at his elbow.

“You don't have the balls,” Andrew spat back.

Kevin didn't stop, but flipped Andrew the bird over his shoulder.

Nicky showed up thirty minutes later, high fived him, and headed up to the VIP room to read a book outside the door. If Nicky was downstairs, he'd drink. And if he drank, he wouldn't stop. Kevin didn't mind them having a drink or two on shift, but they all agreed that being drunk was unacceptable.

After Nicky took his leave, Andrew found a spot at the bar, accepting a drink from a familiar bartender. “You work here too, Roland?” he asked, watching his old hook-up walk back and forth along the bar as he prepared drinks and set out trays.

Roland grinned, coming to a stop to lean across the bar at Andrew, smiling. “The Days pay better than Eden's. Plus, I get more hours. Speaking of which, haven't seen you around lately, and then you just happen to turn up here? What's the deal with that?”

Andrew tipped his head towards the ceiling. “Mr. Day dragged me here?”

“Ah, so Kevin's the culprit. Rat bastard. Well, I'm going to get you drunk on his dime then.” He set out a shot that Andrew knocked back happily, sliding the glass back towards Roland. “The show is about to start. Neil's our best. He really get the blood flowing. Then it's Allison. Maybe after my shift is done, we can find a place to... chat?” Roland's smile was flirtatious.

Andrew didn't answer, only raising an eyebrow.

Roland shrugged, unperturbed. “The offer is there if you want it.” He bustled off towards his other customers, and Andrew turned to watch the stage.

The stage was lit with a soft lilac light, and as he watched, the patrons began to snuff out the candles on their tables until it was the only light in the room. Overhead, a soft deep voice made introductions. “For those of you who have been here before, you know what time it is.” A short cheer rose before going quiet as sensual music filtered into the room. “For those of you who may be first timers, your life is about to be changed. Next up, we have the Prince of the Stage, the man who can cut out you heart without spilling a single drop of blood, the diamond of dance... Welcome to the stage... Lilith.”

Wild applause disturbed the air, quieting only when the music grew loud, replacing the conditioned air with the thrumming of cello strings. A man stepped barefoot onto the stage, tight black diamond studded shorts stopping just below the curve of his ass. They strained around toned thighs, a black sleeveless shirt draped loosely over his chest and stomach, plunging in the back to reveal rippling muscle. His arms were as tones as his legs, and scared from fingertips to elbows. Everything that was usually on display by a stripper was covered, but what was on display was a nice display.

Muscular, but not overly so. Neck long and elegant. Skin tanned and dusted silver. A steady mix of masculine and feminine as he moved across the stage.

Wild curls looked black beneath the lilac light, but lacked the same depth as black hair. Probably a brunette or red head. The curls flopped over the top edge of a glimmering half-mask that resembled a fox's snout, the shadow covering the rest of his face, but not the cut of his jaw.

Andrew thought every stripper danced the same, that there could be no variation except between genders. He wasn't sure whether this was particular to the club or particular to this dance, but Andrew's mouth watered as he swung around and around his pole, sliding to the floor and arching his back before wrapping his legs back around the poll to hoist himself up.

Bills landed on the stage, but Lilith never stopped moving, climbing and careening around the stage.

He looked like he was trying to run from something, and Andrew wondered what the something could possibly be.

It had been awhile since Andrew had had such a visceral reaction to another person, his pants growing tighter with each passing moment and movement. He never moved, exactly like the others around him. Even the bartenders had come to a stop to watch the man at work.

What Andrew found curious and intriguing was the lack of actual stripping. Lilith never removed a scrap of clothing, only pulled and tugged at the fabric in suggestion. There was a flash of dimples and strap of a thong above his ass, a peak of tight curls beneath the waist of his shorts, a smear of lipstick across his jaw. His performance drove the crowd wild, but when Andrew caught a glimpse of raised scarring beneath the shirt, he knew it was to hide and not to tease. He'd wager even frequent customers had never seen more of Lilith's skin than what was already being shown.

And that was interesting.

He was intrigued in a way he knew he shouldn't be. No one with a good, stable life was stripping for a living, and Andrew's life was already messy enough without adding someone else's issues.

Nobody stripping for the Days had a stable life.

When Lilith spun to a stop at the end of the song, chest heaving, he stared across the room.

Andrew could have sworn he caught the flash of icy blue eyes staring at him.

…..

Neil sighed, pulling his mask off and staring at the smeared lipstick across his jaw where he'd fended off one of the regular female customers before going on stage. Sweat beaded on his brow, tracing down his temples. His shirt was completely soaked through, and his shorts were stuffed with bills from grubbed hands at the stage edge. No matter how classy Kevin claimed the club to be, the dancers were still strippers and the majority of customers were still gross and horny. He'd slowly started to pull the bills out when Dan clapped him on the shoulder.

“Great job out there, Neil! You really got them riled up, and you're still as popular as ever!” Dan exclaimed, ruffling his curls with a grin. Her smile fell into a neutral line as she wiped at the smudged lipstick. “You know, you don't have to do this, right? Just because you got us the positions. You've got your own work to handle.”

Neil smiled at her. “I know, but whatever I make here, I get to keep. I'm still paying off my parents' debts, and I can't do that and live at the same time if I'm just using what I get paid normally.”

She sat down beside him, turning him to face her so she could fix his makeup. “I know that, but Kevin had offered to help which is a miracle in and of itself. He's offered more than once, so you know he means it. Wouldn't he be better than Ichirou?”

Neil wanted to shake his head, but also didn't want his throat ripped out. Dan was applying small crystals to his freckled and would murder him if he ruined her work. “Ichirou is not the problem. We practically grew up together despite our fathers' best efforts. It's Lord Moriyama and his useless second son that are the problem. Lord Moriyama still doesn't trust me after my father didn't pull through on his side of the deal, and then let my mother run back to the Hatfords. No, I can't trade one thumb for another.” Neil was giving too much truth, and he felt his throat trying to constrict around his words with his need to clam up, but every one of the Foxes deserved his truth. After what his father had put them all through... They'd been through too much together to get a lie.

Dan sighed again, and sat back. “There. All fixed. Now change your shirt and shorts. You're disgusting.” Turning to glance over her shoulder as Neil followed her order, she shouted, “Allison, they're waiting for Aphrodite on stage!”

Neil gently pulled Allison to a stop before she passed him, pulling her down to whisper in her ear. “Can you check out someone for me? Blond. Short. Seated at the bar in a black suit. He's new, but doesn't look like a customer.”

Allison pressed a kiss to his temple, murmuring, “Sure thing, hon. I'll let you know what I collect after I make my rounds tonight.”

“Thanks.” Neil waited until Allison was gone and Dan had focused on him again to wave at his face. “What's all this for? I thought I didn't go on again till closing.”

“Right, but someone requested you.”

Narrowing his eyes and wrinkling his nose, he said, “I didn't put anything out saying I was taking requests tonight. You know that.” Neil only took requests when he was desperate for more cash, and Dan knew that as well too.

Dan nodded. “I know, but I wasn't able to turn them down this time. The request came from Kevin for someone else. He put down five figures. I figured you wouldn't mind if you were getting paid that much.”

Neil's mouth went dry. “How much if five figures? How does Kevin even have that much to throw around?”

“Fifteen thousand.”

“Jesus. Does he want me to fuck this guy on stage or something?” Neil asked jokingly, but Kevin with Riko could be unpredictable. He had to have faith that Kevin wouldn't ask something like that of him, and he didn't want to have to pull rank as a Wesninski and the Butcher's Son in the club. Even then, he'd only be able to pull rank on Kevin, not Riko. If it came down to a battle with Riko, the night would end with someone's blood on the walls. There was a lot of abuse and humiliation he was willing to take from Riko, but not that.

“Oh, come on!” Seth shouted from across the room where he was painting his chest bright orange, “You don't even get naked! Why are you getting paid the big bucks? How good are you at giving head, exactly?”

Neil didn't point out that he only ever 'gave head' to one person as he didn't have a choice in the matter. That wasn't information Seth should be privy to. He'd never hear the end of the gay slurs. He already got enough shit for being demisexual as it was.

“If you put half as much effort into your performance as Neil does, maybe you'd get paid more too. Unfortunately, you only attract one gender, and that's not enough,” Dan shot back at him as she smiled. Again, she returned her gaze to Neil while Matt intervened before Seth got himself killed. “So, the client is in a private room, last door on the left. Maybe he'll tip.”

Neil raised an eyebrow. “You think it's a guy?”

She shrugged. “Kevin doesn't have any women in his group, but who knows. Maybe he picked one up and is showing her a good time.”

“I doubt that. He just picked up three new bodyguards a month ago, and I don't think Coach would let women on his team with Riko around.” Neil pursed his lips, staring at the rust red of them in the mirror. After a moment, he fitted his mask back into place and stepped into a pair of lethal black heels. “I guess I'll see you in an hour or so.”

Dan waived, smiling cheekily. “Try to have some fun, Neil. Who knows? Maybe he has a sense of humor.”

Rolling his eyes good-naturedly, he ducked out of the dressing room.

…..

The private rooms were for entertainment. Most of the time, that meant lap dances and some conversation. That's what they were meant for. For the customers to get a better look at their coveted performers. What a performer did in a private room with a customer was their business though. Most of the performers were willing to do a lot for a little bit more if Kevin turned a blind eye. His only stipulation was that they stay clean, free of any drugs that he wasn't pushing and STIs.

Some customers pushed for more than the performers were willing to give, even when they said now.

Neil wasn't innocent. When he needed money and there was an easy way to get it, he didn't waste time tiptoeing around options, but he had his boundaries.

The Foxes had made a name for themselves in both the pole dancing circles and sex worker circles. When it came to the private rooms, their word was law. After several bloodied noses and broken wrists, most everyone knew that when a Fox said no, it meant no. There was no pushing. There was no coaxing. There was no wheedling. They weren't afraid to kick a customer out, and they sure as hell weren't afraid to get violent if hands were put on them. The Foxes were known for their dances and their convictions.

Customers who requested them knew not to push.

That didn't mean the Foxes weren't willing to push the fold themselves.

Neil didn't push anything. After his mother had beat the desire out of him and Lola had taken what she'd wanted, he refused to touch anyone unless he was desperate. Even desperate, the furthest he would take it was a handjob and a few unenthusiastic kisses. He made enough money on stage most nights to cover living expenses, but feeding two people got expensive after awhile. Not including the clothes and doctor visits and shoes. When he didn't need money, he kept as much distance between himself and the customers as he could.

He rarely found a need to put himself in a private room, and he always had the same reaction at first. Nausea. Shoulders pulling tight. A sense of vertigo washed over him as he slipped into the dimply lit room and closed the door behind him.

The room was dark like the main room, all black and crimson curtains with accents of gold and dusty pink interspersed throughout. Candle light flickered along the walls, and soft rolling music played through hidden speakers. Allison's song choice thrummed through the ceiling, pulsing in his feet.

Neil knew there were microphones hidden for the performers' protection. He'd been the one to suggest their installation. If the performer ever uttered their safe word or 'No' three times in a row, guards would pull the performer out immediately.

Across the room, the man Neil had seen sitting at the bar turned to look at him. He was short, shorter than Neil at about five feet even, but his presence was overwhelming as he stared at Neil blankly. He wore all black from his shiny shoes to his belt to his tie. His hair and eyes were the only splashes of color.

Hazel eyes slid up and down Neil's body, but the man didn't move to come any closer.

Neil didn't know what he was supposed to do with this lack of reaction.

…..

Andrew was collected from the bar by Nicky just as the next dancer, a woman with long blonde hair and legs for miles, stepped out. Nicky led him upstairs, a sly smile on his lips.

Andrew narrowed his eyes in response. “What's going on? I thought Kevin wanted me to get too drunk to stand. He's ruining my streak,” he groused even though he hadn't really been drinking with purpose. He'd been sipping on his whiskey as he chatted with Roland about the dancers and skirmishes they got into. What problems could be found around the club. Which were related to Kevin and which weren't.

Really, he'd just been doing reckon, but Nicky didn't need to know that.

“A present from Kevin,” Nicky said vaguely as he opened a door and closed it behind Andrew.

Andrew knew where he was without having to be told. He'd been in a backroom like this at Eden's Twilight with Roland enough times. Granted, this was nicer, but it was also actually meant for entertainments where Eden's looked like it was simply where people went to hook-up. They were all the same in the end.

A place to have a tryst. A place to get a lap dance. A place to do business that wasn't of the body variety.

He wasn't happy Kevin had sent him there, but he was also mildly curious to see who Kevin had sent for. Who Kevin thought would be interesting enough to keep him busy.

After ten minutes, Andrew considered sitting down, but didn't want to give the dancer anything to assume. He wasn't there for a lap dance. He wasn't there for a blowjob. He was there without consent, and he knew most of the dancers had to have been pushed into situations they didn't want either.

The dancer from the first performance -Lilith- slipped into the room. He'd changed, but the outfit wasn't much different than the one before. Black shorts that were seemingly painted on, tassels of diamonds hanging from the waistband to tinkle quietly around his hips. Black top of nearly see through material with gauzy sleeves that draped around his arms. New red lipstick painted his mouth, almost the same color as his curls.

He was towering in black heels, his mask still in place as he leaned back against the door.

Andrew couldn't stop his eyes from dragging up and down the man, taking in his posture, how he seemed a little off kilter. He wondered if it was Andrew himself, the room, or just the situation that was causing him such visible discomfort.

A long, tense silence passed between them before either spoke.

“You're Kevin's new bodyguard. I didn't realize earlier. You, your twin and your cousin just joined his security detail. Renee said she knew you guys from before,” Lilith said, shoulders still pressed to the door with his back arched away from the fabric covered wood.

“And who are you to Kevin?” Andrew asked, suspicious and curious at once.

“A performer. An asset. Someone to take care of the dirty work.” The words rang with truth despite the mirth there, and Andrew had to wonder if the song and dance were familiar. “But for you? I can be anyone.”

Again, suspicion reared its head. With Riko in the same building, he couldn't be too careful, even if Kevin was the one who sent Lilith. That didn't mean people couldn't be paid off. “Why's that? Is that part of your gag?”

The man shrugged, a sly smile playing across his lips. Half lidded blue eyes looked out at him from the shadows of the mask. “Kevin paid fifteen thousand for me to be here, so I assume he wants me to make you happy. By whatever means that may be.”

Lilith sounded a little sick at the prospect, and Andrew didn't miss that hint in his voice. He was a good actor otherwise, his posture never changing.

The words made Andrew sick, and he wanted to strangle Kevin. Instead, he could just waste his money. “Stop standing like that.”

Those blue eyes blinked wide, and Lilith asked, “Like what?”

“Like you're trying to showcase something. It looks painful.”

A startled laugh fell from Lilith's mouth, and he relaxed against the door. “It kind of does,” he admitted.

“Take the shoes off.”

After a pause, Lilith sighed and stepped out of the shoes, dropping down much closer to Andrew's height. “Thank god. Those are torture. Have you ever tried?”

“No.” Andrew sat down on the couch that was across from the door, leaning back with his arms across his chest. He pointed to the cushion next to him. “Sit.”

Irritation flashed across Lilith's mouth as he hesitated. It disappeared as he padded over to the couch. His body was lithe and strong like he was aware of every aspect of himself. Sitting down, he left a substantial twelve inch gap between them, but turned to face him. “This is... unconventional. Most people want me to be naked by this point. Not that they get what they want, but...”

“I'm not people.”

Lilith laughed. “Clearly. So, is there anything I can do for you?” He crossed his legs at the ankles and folded his hands in his lap. “You've got fifteen thousand dollars worth for activities.”

Andrew let his eyes wonder over the man, considering. He knew what his body wanted. He knew that he wanted to spite Kevin for this. He knew that no matter how convincing the man was or what he was indirectly offering, Andrew could spot a liar a mile away. This man was a good one, practiced and adept, but not good enough. “Let me take off your mask, yes or no?”

Lilith tensed, but nodded. “Yes.”

Andrew spanned the space between them, reaching into Lilith's hair to rifle around for the string. Puling the bow open, he set the mask aside and sat back into his seat, opening the space between them again. He stared at the man's face, at the long lashes and gems glues to his face, the curls brushing his forehead, the highlighter on his cheekbones. “What's your name?” Beneath the makeup, he could still see the bumps and rises of burns beneath an eye.

“Neil Josten.”

Andrew sat the lie in the flutter of his eyelashes, just a minor drop. “That's not your real name.”

“No.”

“You prefer to go by Neil.”

“Yes.”

“Okay.”

Neil's eyes darted up to Andrew's face, surprised. “I-” He swallowed, dropping his eyes again. Taking a deep breath, he raised his eyes to meet Andrew's again, conviction in their blue depths. “What now?”

Andrew considered, chewing carefully on the inside of his cheek. “Take your shirt off, yes or no?”

“No,” Neil said immediately, flinching away from his eyes. He sputtered out a correction. “U-un-unless you really want me to.”

Interesting. “No. It's fine,” Andrew said, sliding further along the couch to give him more space, “Okay, but why? You're a stripper who doesn't take off his clothes. What are you hiding? We're playing a game here, Neil. Truth for truth. You give me a truth and I'll give you a truth.”

Neil stared at him silently for a long time before sighing. “Scars.”

“How many?”

“A lot.”

“As bad as the ones on your face?”

Neil's hand jumped up to press against the scars beneath his eyes, lips pressing into a thin line. “No. Worse.”

Andrew nodded, accepting that answer and motioning him to go.

Blinking in surprise, Neil dropped his hand. “What's your name?”

“I thought you already knew my name.”

Neil smiled. “I do, but you have a twin. I want to hear you confirm my suspicions.”

“Andrew Minyard.”

“And your twin is Aaron. Nicky is your cousin. He's nice. Always gives me a good tip when I take one of his requests. Never gets handsy unless I let him. I like their significant others too, even if I only know them from a distance.” He must have seen the unease flash across Andrew's face because he quickly said, “Sorry. Kevin's an important person to me and my family. I go overboard researching the people he's involved with so he doesn't get himself killed.”

Andrew narrowed his eyes, but he couldn't really fault him. It wasn't hard to research Aaron and Nicky anyway as their lives were documented on one or more social media pages. “Who gave you all the scars?”

Neil's jaw tightened, but he answered anyway. “My father and his associates.” His voice was tight, bitter. He sounded almost like he wanted to puke as he said, “Lola.”

“Lola,” Andrew mused, and again, Neil flinched, “What a stupid fucking name.”

Neil chuckled, the noise sounding forced to Andrew's ears. “Yes. Why did you decide to work for Kevin? How did that happen?”

“Riko tried to recruit me for his operation, but I don't work for homophobic piss babies. I needed a job, and Kevin -well, more Wymack- needed someone who could field Riko when he tries to overstep his line. Kevin and Wymack also agreed to hire my family. Riko didn't.”

“Sounds about right.”

“Which way do you swing?”

Neil smirked, and Andrew wondered how often he'd gotten the question. “I don't. I'm demisexual.”

“Interesting.”

Neil opened his mouth to ask his next question when he heard footsteps on the stairs. Instead, with wide eyes, he asked, “Can I touch you, yes or no?” mimicking Andrew's way of asking for permission. “Whoever that is, I need to convince them I'm doing my job.”

“Yes,” Andrew agreed and was surprised when Neil straddled his lap, sliding his fingers deep into Andrew's hair. The way Neil kissed was gentle and exploratory despite the situation. When Andrew gripped his thighs, he unconsciously arched into him.

The door opened without a knock, and Neil broke away a second later to stare over his shoulder accusingly. “What, Jean? I'm busy.”

“Clearly.” His eyes trailed up and down Neil, disgust etched into the curve of his lips. “Little Boss just called bother Riko and Kevin. You are to call him at your earliest convenience.”

“Thanks for the message. Now get out.”

“Putain,” the man muttered as he slammed the door closed.

Neil didn't move as his footsteps disappeared down the hall. With a sigh, he looked down into Andrew's impassive expression. “Well, guess this is ending a little early.”

“I suppose.”

Still, Neil didn't move, a sly smile pulled at his lips. “I'd like to kiss you again. It was pleasant. Also... do you want me to take care of that for you?” He pointed between their bodies where Andrew pressed hard against his ass, but politely kept his eyes on Andrew's.

Andrew was achingly hard in his pants, but he wouldn't ask for anything Neil didn't want. He didn't even know if Neil actually liked men or not. He needed to look up 'demisexual' when he had a moment. “Are you asking as part of your job or because you want to?”

Neil smiled at him, carding his fingers idly through Andrew's hair. “Because I want to. Because you listened when I said no, and didn't expect anything from me. Because you went out of your way to make me feel comfortable. Those shoes really are the worst after awhile.”

“Save it for another time,” Andrew decided.

This time, Neil beamed. “Sure thing. Bit I will ask for another kiss.”

“Demanding,” Andrew commented, but obliged as he tangled a hand in the curls at the back of Neil's head and pulled him down. When they pulled apart, he asked, “When will I see you again?” Because he was weak. He was weak for a pretty face and shady back story and the ability to listen.

'And to keep an eye on him to make sure he's not a threat to Kevin,' he told himself, even though it was a blatant lie.

“So eager,” Neil flirted, lifting himself from Andrew's lap to straighten out his clothing, “Probably sooner than you might imagine.” He plucked up his mask from beside Andrew.

“That's not an answer.”

“My schedule is never for sure, but I'm here most night. Come by any time. Ask for my by name instead of my stage name, and they'll send someone back for me. If you keep treating me like a gentleman instead of a whore, you won't even have to have Kevin pay for me.”

Andrew sat up straight. “I didn't-”

“I know. Just teasing. I'll see you soon, Andrew, and...” Neil trailed off, head ducking as he stood in the doorway and tugged his heels back on. When he finally lifted his head again, there was a sad smile gracing his lips. “Thank you. I mean it.”

And then he was gone.

Andrew dealt with himself quickly, using the supplies he found in a back corner to clean up before stepping out. He sat down heavily beside Nicky outside the VIP room. “I'm done for tonight if you want to drink.”

Nicky shook his head, but put away his phone and turned eagerly to face Andrew. “So, how was it?”

…..

Neil slipped from the room and immediately downstairs to call Ichirou. “Lord Moriyama, what can I do for you?” he asked politely because he knew Ichirou thought it was arbitrary. It made him uncomfortable, and being brothers, it was fun to needle him sometimes. “Oh, sorry. Slip of the tongue. Little Boss, what can I do for you?”

“I've told you not to call me that, Nathaniel,” Ichirou quipped back, “Either of those things.”

“Not as long as you keep calling me that.”

Ichirou chuckled quietly before his voice turned stoic. “I need you tonight. I've told the other to two stay clear for the night. I understand they're at the club currently?”

“Yes.”

“Good. Your man is already here. I'm having Moreau come in to begin set up.”

“Understood.” Neil shifted his weight from one foot to the other in the dressing room, not looking at himself in the mirror as he pulled a wig with long rust red curls into place. The hair cascaded down his back, ending at his waist. “I have to take care of one small thing before I change and head in. Is that possible?” He shimmied into a silver shimmery dress with a plunging back, the only one he ever wore into the VIP room.

“Do as you need to take care of Jane,” Ichirou told him, “I hope to see her again soon.”

“This weekend. Dinner,” Neil said, tying his mask back into place. Dressed as he was, he could almost believe he was a woman.

“Good. See you soon.”

The line clicked dead, and Neil dropped his phone back into his drawer. Renee and Matt stared at him with worry as he stepped into high silver stilettos.

He turned to them, holding out his arms. “How do I look?”

“Stunning. As always,” Renee sighed, and stepped close to fix his smeared lipstick. “We need to invest in that kind that stays forever. You go through so much lipstick. Will you need me tonight?”

“Later. I'll have Jean call,” he sighed. Before he hurried out, Matt grabbed hold of his arm.

“Don't let him push you around, Neil. You're not an object,” Matt whispered so Seth couldn't hear him.

Everyone, but Seth knew what happened to Neil in the VIP room, knew that he was one of the only ones it ever happened to. Knew it happened to degrade him and nothing more. They'd all had to pull him back together one night or another.

They worried, but worry never saved anyone.

Neil sighed again and pulled free. “Not my choice, Matt.”

“Not yet, but it will be.”

Neil smiled his wide, fake, plastic smile. “I can only hope.”

Nothing would get better for him until Kengo Moriyama finally found himself in the grave.

…..

He knocked on the door to the VIP room, not glancing at Andrew or Nicky as they eyed him. He could only hope that Andrew didn't recognize him with the long sleeve and hair and dress, which was for the best. If they made eye contact, that might not have been the case.

“Enter!” came Riko's imperious voice, and Neil repressed a growl.

He pushed open the door to purple satin and blue light, and Riko with Thea sitting on his knee like a very pretty dark doll. A scowl graced her painted mouth as Riko's hand played idly with the strings of her corset. When his hand drifted between her thighs, she slapped his hand away. “No means no.”

Neil was glad to see she hadn't lost her fire. She'd always been the strongest of them, but he wished Kevin would just get the guts to ask her out instead of shooting angry glares towards them while Jeremy sat against his leg and laughed generously. The best thing about the situation was that Jean wasn't there also mooning over Jeremy.

God, the VIP room was just a roiling pool of sexual tension. He wished Kevin and the others would get themselves into a happy polyamorous relationship.

“Ooooh, the Silver Fox is here!” Jeremy crowed, jumping to his feet and folding Neil in his arms. In his ear, Jeremy whispered, “I didn't know or I would have found a way to stop it.” When he pulled back, he trailed his lips along Neil's cheek.

Neil caught the front of his corset, whispering back. “It's fine. He didn't call for me today. Something else.”

Jeremy was beaming as he pulled back, leading Neil over to Kevin. He dropped onto the left arm of Kevin's chair, pulling Kevin's arm around his hips and tucking his fingers between his legs, unashamed.

Neil smiled seductively, leaning into Kevin's right ear as he gripped his wrist. “Can you grab Jane from the babysitter tonight? Ichirou...”

Kevin turned into Neil's neck and whispered, “Yes,” against his skin.

When Neil pulled away, he pressed a long kiss to Kevin's mouth. He beamed as he pulled back. “Well, that is all the time I have tonight,” he announced, turning back towards the door and hoping he'd get away, but Riko's voice filled the room again.

“Wesninski,” Riko called.

Kevin stared at him with a warning in his eyes as Neil winked and turned.

Stepping up to Riko's side, he snarked, “How may I help you on this fine evening, sir?” He smiled, and tried to keep the venom out of his words.

Motioning him down with two fingers, Riko wrapped a hand around the back of Neil's neck. “Next week, you will be here. We have an appointment to keep.” His hand slipped down from Neil's neck, following the curve of his back and slipping beneath the edge of his dress then the strap of his thong. “Think about the baby.” Riko hand pulled away, but gripped the back of his thigh hard enough to bruise. “Don't miss our appointment again. Understand?”

Anger and revulsion welled in Neil's chest, but he only barely managed to keep it contained. “Yes.” He stood straight, and gave the room another blinding smile. “Have a good night.”

Stepping out into the hall, Neil only managed to contain himself long enough to not slam the door. Instead, he threw a fist at the wall. He hissed at the pain that spiraled up his forearm, cursing at the split skin across his knuckles. “Fuck! God fucking dammit! Jesus fuck! Fucking Riko, piece of fuck! Nasty ass hands!” He dug the folded bills out of the strap of his thong, throwing them at the floor. He punched the wall again.

He'd forgotten Andrew and Nicky were outside the door until he heard their chairs move.

“Stop.” Andrew's strong, steady voice said behind him, grabbing his wrist as he made to punch the wall again. “You're going to break your hand. You're already bleeding.”

“Neil,” Nicky said gently, “What happened?”

“Nothing,” Neil growled harshly, but couldn't stop from looking at Andrew.

Andrew glanced at him, recognition there, but nothing more. He dropped his eyes to Neil's hand, flexing each finger and then his wrist. “Nothing serious. Maybe a jammed finger or two. You should get that cleaned, bandaged and iced as soon as possible.” He didn't comment about the tears on Neil's cheeks.

Taking a step back, Andrew bent down to pick up the bills and pressed them into Neil's uninjured hand, meeting his eyes. “Whatever this is, it's not worth hurting yourself over.”

“'Kay,” Neil whispered, flabbergasted as he stared through the guise of his mask, but he felt like Andrew could see right through him. It made him uncomfortable.

His mouth was dry.

Swallowing, he turned. “Nicky, I'm sorry for yelling,” he said.

Tears filled Nicky's brown eyes, a smile splitting his face from ear to ear. “Oh, Neil, honey!” he cried, enveloping Neil in an all encompassing hug that made Neil want to cry while simultaneously drying out his well of emotions.

“Thanks, but I have to go now, Nicky. It was... it was nice to meet you, Andrew. See you guys soon.” Trying to contain his shakiness, Neil strode away. He needed to change, fix his hand, and get to Ichirou before he started asking questions.

Because Ichirou didn't know.

And Neil never wanted him to find out.

…..

“He was trying to sabotage a shipment.” Ichirou, dark and lithe and several inches taller than Neil, stood over the whimpering man as Neil pulled on the gloves Jean had set out for him. “He was caught with a detonator in his hand. Cheep. Clearly homemade. It might not have even worked.”

The man had a head of mousy blond hair that was streaked red with darkly tanned skin. His fingers were laced behind his back, wrists tied to the simple wooden chair like his ankles. A gag had been shoved in his mouth, ear plugs wedged in his ears, and a blindfold covered his eyes.

“Who do you think he works for?” Neil asked, stepping towards the chair and unceremoniously throwing his aching fist. The impact against the man's jaw made his knuckles bleed all over again, but he held back the flinch of pain. He should have just hit him with his left hand. “Do you think this is going to be a problem?”

Ichirou looked around to where Jean stood against the wall, eyes sharp and narrowed and as dark as his brother's. “Moreau. Out. Watch the door. No one is allowed in.”

Jean bowed out of the room, closing the door firmly behind him.

Turning back, Ichirou said in a low voice. “I think he works for my brother.”

Neil paused where he was considering his tray of tools, eyes wide. “What? Why would he sabotage his own shipment?”

“Profit; if he exports than he can sell at whatever price he likes and keep everything for himself. Blackmail; he may be trying to ruin Kayleigh and Kevin. Favor; if he knocks them out of standing with my father, there will be an opening to step into. There are too many possibilities to consider. He doesn't realize he'll never be apart of the family the way he wants to no matter what he does.”

“Why Riko specifically though? Are there any clue to his immediate involvement?” Neil stared at the man in the chair, eyes narrowing. There was a cold, hollow spot in the middle of his chest that he was all too familiar with. It's where he retreated when Riko degraded him, when he killed, when he remembered his parents. “You don't think it's just my father's loyalists?”

“No. There have been shipments going missing more and more often. Riko's spending had increased. When the shipments are stolen, there is little to no casualties. Also, the raven tattoo behind his ear. It might be a coincidence, but...”

Neil allowed his father's ugly smile to pull up his lips. “Well, let's ask then.” He ripped the plugs from the man's ears and the gag out of his mouth. He yanked the man's head back by the hair at the back of his skull. “Who do you work for?”

“I-I-I-I don't know.”

“Wrong answer, handsome.” Neil held the man's head still before driving his fist straight into his nose. Cartilage shattered beneath his knuckles and blood gushed down the man's mouth. “Try again.”

“I don't know!” he shouted.

“Still the wrong answer.” Neil spent several long minutes like that, asking the same question and systematically hurting the man more when he got the same answer. Blood splattered his face, dripping down his cheek. His fist ached in its glove.

The man only spoke after Neil had broken his index finger. “Okay! Okay! I'll tell you what I know!”

Neil paused where he'd been bending the man's second finger back towards his wrist, relaxing the tension.

The man dragged in a shuddering breath. “I don't know what his name is. I really don't. I just know he's part of some big important family or something. They call him the Raven King or some stupid shit like that. I never met with him face to face. There were middle men. Idiots dressed in all black who move completely in sync. It's terrifying. I was paid thirty thousand to blow up half the shipment and take the other half. I got caught before I could do anything. I don't know anything else! Please don't kill me!”

Neil and Ichirou made eye contact over the man's head. “Were you working alone?” Neil asked, “Where were you supposed to drop the shipment?”

“N-no, but she ran off when she saw me get snatched. I've never met her before tonight. I don't know her name. I don't know anything about her.” He was breathing harder. “I was supposed to drop it off at some sports stadium. It's not used anymore. The sport never got off the ground or something.”

“Hm. What about the tattoo behind your ear?”

“Drunk night when I was sixteen.”

Neil stood, walking around behind the man. He waited for Ichirou's nod to continue. He gripped the man's head. “Thank you for your cooperation.” The snap of his neck dissipated from the room quickly enough, absorbed by black sound proofing and heavy curtains. “What do you want me to do about this?”

They both knew he wasn't walking about the body. He never disposed of the bodies, just like his father never had. That was someone else's job, but he usually paid Renee a pretty penny for her services. He trusted her more than he trusted any of the lackeys walking around the estate.

“I'm giving you permission to gather evidence against my brother for this. You may use whoever and whatever means you see fit. Once you have what we need, given my father's approval, you will kill my brother.”

Neil's blood began to boil with anticipation. When he finally got his hands on Riko, he'd rip him to shreds. They wouldn't be able to tell Neil's work from his father's.

[hazinhoodies]

Smoked Out

Firefighter!Harrison x Reader

Warnings: There's a fire and a weak attempt at titling. otherwise none

A/N: Uh yeah here's this it might be kinda boring but dead heat was getting notes again so here's a third firefighter fic

Word count: 4.2k

Quack! Quack! Quack!

Harrison’s alarm stirs you awake. He never used the default alarm, something about the default alarm being too jarring, though any alarm is supposed to be annoying, isn’t that the point of an alarm? You’d never bothered to question his logic. You tap him with the hand that was on his chest. He rarely woke up to his alarm but it woke you up so you’d gotten used to the routine of waking him up since moving in together. It was always the same every morning. You’d wake up and, in your semi-conscious state, attempt to shake him awake. He’d groan, squeeze his arms tighter around you, and mutter something along the lines of ‘five more minutes’. You’d have to persist in waking him up despite how much you wanted to stay wrapped up in his arms. Where you were warm. Where you knew he was safe.

But it’s four a.m. and duty calls.

Eventually, Harrison rolls over and turns off the alarm, taking his arms away from around you and letting the cool air send goosebumps across your skin.

You were awake now, as Harrison ran through his morning routine, so you’d start your own. Swinging your legs over the edge of the bed, you pulled Harrison’s shirt tighter around you in an attempt to stay warm. Harrison hopped in the shower while you started coffee for him and a tea for you. By the time he was out and dressed the coffee was ready and your tea was half gone.

You leaned against the counter, holding your mug with both hands while Harrison poured his coffee for himself. He leaned against the opposing counter. There was a comfortable silence between you two, Harrison was lost in his thoughts, his gaze locked on some random cupboard while you did something similar.

You always got nervous before his twenty four hour shifts. They scared you, there was so much time for everything to go wrong.

Harrison snapped out of his thoughts, finally realizing that he’d been staring at a cupboard for the past ten minutes. He leaned further against the counter and kicked the side of your leg gently, really just bumping it and pulling you out of your thoughts. Even once you’d looked up he continued to do so.

“What?” You spoke quietly, your voice was barely above a whisper.

“Nothin’. Just love you” Harrison continued to tap your calf rhythmically.

“Oh, so you kick me?” You reply in mock offence, holding back a chuckle.

“Yep,” Harrison pops the ‘p’.

“That’s not nice”

“ ‘S a shame” You could see a small smile pulling at his lips. You start to do the same thing to him and it pulls a laugh out of the both of you. Eventually, he stops, grin still plastered on his face. He stands up straight and places his mug behind you before taking your own and doing the same. His hands fall to your waist.

“You took my tea” You wrap your arms around his neck, your fingers finding their place in his hair.

“It was empty anyway, love” He leans down and presses his lips softly to yours and pulls away a couple of seconds later.

“I’m so proud of you”, You say after a moment of silence between the two of you, your hands still fiddling with the curls at the back of his neck.

“Why’s that?” Harrison responds and you can’t help but roll your eyes. He definitely knows, but you'll indulge him.

“You’ve worked so hard for this promotion and you finally got it”

“Yeah this week has really been the best week of my life,” Harrison starts, “Finally got promoted to Lieutenant, got the girl of my dreams to say she’ll marry me,” He says the last half against your lips, kissing them once he’d finished talking.

“She must be lucky”

“If I didn’t have to leave for work I would tell her every reason I love her” You can’t help but smile as he kisses your hairline, “But then I’d be spoiling part of my vows” He whispers the last part and you roll your eyes at him, the same smile still on your lips.

“Stay safe today, please” Your left-hand falls from his hair, tracing down his neck then over his shoulder that’s covered by his dark blue station t-shirt. It continues down his bicep, forearm, until finally, it reaches his hand. Your hand and his both grab for each other.

“I always am” He whispers back to you, his hand squeezing your own.

“I know. Doesn’t mean I don’t worry. I already almost lost you once, I can’t imagine what’d happen if I actually did” The last sentence was mumbled. You worried that if you talked about him dying, then he actually would. That’s the last thing you wanted.

You had never been sure how he made it out of that accident alive. Persistence you supposed, only those who want to live, do. How the fuck does someone survive a tree going into their chest? The doctors had told you that had it been only a few centimetres over, it would have scraped his heart.

You had never believed in miracles until then.

“I’ll be safe. I’ll come back to you tomorrow, I promise” You pressed a soft kiss to your forehead, his lips barely brushing the skin before Harrison rested his chin on the top of your head, mumbling a small ‘I love you’ into your hair.

He pulled away to go and get his coat while you placed the mugs into the sink, they were a problem for later. You headed back towards the bedroom, knowing you’d meet Harrison halfway as he was about to leave.

“I love you, I’ll see you when I come home,” Harrison says as his left arm winds around your waist, his right holding his coat. You leaned up as he leaned down and your lips pressed together. This was in no way a goodbye kiss. It was an ‘I’ll see you later’ kiss. A ‘come home to me’ kiss. A ‘You’ve got to come home’ kiss. An “I’ll always come back to you” kiss

“I love you, too, lieutenant” You replied with a wink when you pulled away. Like he always did, Harrison leaned down a pressed one last kiss to your lips, this one much shorter than the first, and flashed you a smile as he opened the door. And you, like always, kept the door open and waved once he got in the elevator. You only shut the door once the elevator door shut down the hall.

Now, on schedule, you fell back asleep alone. It was 4:46 am, only a couple minutes difference from previous days, though the times never differed by much. Crawling into bed, you switched your pillow with Haz’s, something you did on days where you had a gut feeling something was going to go wrong, though it never did. You pulled the duvet over your shoulder and up to your chin before letting yourself lull back to sleep.

Harrison’s morning was boring. He and a couple of other trucks had to go out of the city a bit to where a tanker truck had rolled, they were mostly there to supervise in case any gas started leaking from it or if anything happened suddenly. He was there for a couple of hours before getting called back to the station. That morning and afternoon he had a school presentation on fire safety. Quite honestly, Harrison loved the school presentations. Especially with Tom by his side for them. He was pretty sure that the kids got a sense of how close Tom and Harrison were, so that made the presentation just that much more fun for them. The kids were adorable, they were so amazed by everything that they did. Even if he got the same types of questions every time he never hesitated to answer them. He always told the same story of the skyscraper as his coolest fire story. Yes, he’s gotten a cat out of a tree. Yes, it was scary at first. Yes, it’s a lot of hard work. The kids got some time to take photos with the fire truck and then that was the end of it.

Harrison got some time to relax and work out when he got back to the station around four that day. He’d been away from you all day and that on its own was exhausting for him. Not that he hadn’t been texting you all day. He told you about the cutest kid at each school, as he always did. They made his heart melt.

After a quick workout and a shower, he decided it was nap time. You take every chance you can get to sleep on this kind of job. When he woke up he’d do some station organization and maybe see how the new rookies are doing, another Lieutenant is with them at the moment, probably running drills, Harrison would worry about that later.

Your morning was okay. You woke up around ten and did some chores for the most part. Starting with cleaning up the scattered clothes around your room from the aftermath of your date last night. You placed Harrison’s suit jacket on the end of the bed, the previously crisp white button-down on top of it, and then your dress, navy blue to match his suit, on top of that. You’d have to get them dry cleaned later.

You moved into dishes after tossing in a load of laundry. You turned on the water and poured some soap onto your sponge and into the water before picking up your mug from earlier. It wasn’t until you saw a small glint on your hand that you paused your washing. Placing everything down on the counter, you dried off the minimal amount of water on your hands and carefully twisted the silver ring off of your finger.

You admire the diamond on it while wondering how you’d forgotten about it so quickly. It just felt natural to have it on. The ring was perfect for you, really. Harrison had said that he told Joshua Kane what he thought you’d like and JK had taken it from there. God, you loved this man. A simple round diamond sat on top of intricately shaped silver, the metal strands cross over each other and then again before coming together into a single band that wraps around your finger. You dry off the ring and place it on the counter. You’d put it back on when you finished the dishes.

The rest of the day continued fairly normally. You took a nap expecting to be woken up by the timer you’d set for laundry, instead woken by an excitable Monty wanting a walk. So you do. You took out the final load of laundry and fold it before you take him out for a walk. In the meantime, you drop off your dress and Harrison’s suit to be dry cleaned. You grabbed a quick coffee and lunch and then took Monty into the country to let him run around and exert all his energy.

When you got back, it was around dinner so you ate leftovers from your date with Harrison the night before and called your mum. Afterwards watching some random, mildly entertaining show on Netflix while giving some much-needed attention to Monty.

Harrison called you and the two of you recounted your days, really nothing interesting on either part. He told you about some of the kids from the school. They had opened up the trucks for them and let them look around and ask as many questions as they’d like. Two of the kids had even asked to put on Tom and Harrison’s helmets and jackets. The heavy coats went past the nine-year-olds feet and dragged on the floor. One of the teachers had snapped a photo of the two boys with Harrison and Tom squatted down next to them.

You smiled at Harrison’s enthusiasm, you knew he loved it when he got to work with the kids, and you loved hearing the stories and just how happy he got about them. The way his eyes lit up and his smile filled his face, even if you weren’t there to see it, you could hear it in his tone. You fell in love with him even more than you thought was possible.

People told you that it was impossible to start a family with firefighters. That there just wasn’t time, but you’re sure somehow you’d make it work if you and Harrison decided to.

By the time you hung up, it was nearly half-past nine. Harrison had to leave for a call and you figured that Monty needed another walk, a short one, before you’d head to bed. You returned an hour later from what was supposed to be a short walk with an exhausted Monty and you certainly weren’t going to turn down the opportunity to sleep now. Within twenty minutes you were asleep.

The night was dry, there were a couple calls but none that Harrison had to go one. He took this opportunity to nap quickly, half an hour, any more and he won’t be fully awake if there is a call. He knows better than to make that mistake again. When he gets up, a couple of people are still asleep on the bunks around him, Tom being one of them and a couple of rookies; Thompson, Grant, and Cai. He doesn’t bother them, instead, going to spend time doing something useful and go for a run on one of the station treadmill.

He’s not sure how long it’s been, it’s nearly 230 am, nearing the end of his shift, when the alarm rings through the station. Listening to the P.A. call that follows after, he realizes that it’s everyone that has to go. Harrison turns off the treadmill and wipes his forehead. As he jogs over to the truck to get in gear, it occurs to him that the address being said isn’t even in his stations’ covered area.

In fact, it’s his address that’s being blasted over the P.A.

Tom looks at him as he pulls the suspenders over his shoulders. Concern was written all over his face. Harrison knows what he’s asking. He’s asking about you. Harrison shoots back an expression that he hopes Tom reads as not sure, I hope not. Toms face relaxes as he continues to put on his boots and jacket but truthfully he prays that you were okay. You were a good friend of his too and he could hardly imagine Harrison’s devastation if anything happened to you.

Once Harrison was settled in the passenger seat of the truck, he dug into the pocket of his pants for his phone, sending you a text asking if you were okay. He kept his phone in his hand, waiting for it to vibrate and let him know that you were okay. When he got to the building, he could see heavy smoke coming out of the windows on the right side of the building on multiple floors. He immediately looked towards where he knew his apartment was, where he knew the bedroom window was, where you were possibly sleeping, and there’s no smoke coming out of it. Yet. The floor below is going strong but he wasn’t told to go to your floor, he’s told to go up higher, he’s better at preserving oxygen than a lot of the people on his shift, making him ideal for eleventh and twelfth floor, the top floors of the building.

Harrison looks for you in the group of people on the sidewalk across the street but he doesn’t spot you anywhere. He knows that he’d recognize the pink pyjama bottoms you always wore but there was nothing that vibrant in the crowd.

“Someone will bring her down, mate. She’ll be alright” Tom reassures with a firm hand on his shoulder. Harrison nods and looks towards Tom as he pulls the mask up and the visor down. Giving him one final nod before they run into the building and up the stairs to their floors. Harrison finds his floor almost entirely vacant except for one teenager who had been knocking on doors to make sure everyone was out and one dog. He thanks the boy for his help, instructing him to pull his shirt over his nose while they head back down the stairs. Meanwhile, he carries the small yorkie in one arm, the other helping guide the boy down to the main floor where more ambulances have gathered. He hands the dog off to another firefighter that he doesn’t recognize to find an owner.

The second floor Harrison has to cover is entirely empty, no one left. Even as he checks every room of every apartment he finds it empty. No pets, no one sleeping. Empty. He’s thankful and hopes that other floors are like that. Back down out in front of the building, Harrison pulls his mask down to speak better and save oxygen. He lets the captain know that the floors are cleared as others do the same about their floors. Toms next to him as both of them scan the crowd of people for you or Monty. Surely you would’ve ran to find him by now. The unsettling feeling inside his stomach only increases when his ears tune into something going on next to him.

“Sixth floor cleared captain” Thompson announces from next to him.

“Are you sure?” Harrison asks frantically to a confused Thompson, who only nods. “You checked every single apartment?”

“Yeah” Thompson draws out. Tom continues to search the crowd, no luck.

“You went into every apartment and checked every room to make sure everyone was out?” Thompson nods.

“Well” he starts, Harrison can already feel his blood boiling before he finishes the statement. “I did at first and then there was nothing turning up so I just banged on the doors, opened them up and shouted real loud to save time”

“So then the floors not fucking clear, is it?” Harrisons shouting now, nothing can explain how enraged he is, “That’s not even a rookie mistake, that’s just idiocy. Why the fuck would you do that?” He punctuates his question by pushing Thompson by the shoulders, causing him to take a few steps back. Harrison will feel guilty about it later, he’ll apologize when that happens but for now, he’s too busy pulling the mask up and adjusting his helmet as he runs back into the building, Tom in close tow behind him.

You woke up to the fire alarm ringing in the hallway. You hopped out of bed to see smoke filling up the room through the bottom of the door. You get down and crawl over to the door and feel the knob with the back of your hand which burns as soon as you touch it. Carefully you back away from the door and sit in the opposite corner of the room. Monty comes at sits with his head rested in your lap, nose digging into your hip. You pull a blanket off of your bed and over your nose, adjusting it so that it sits over all of Monty. You sit there for a little longer, you’re not quite sure how long, it could have been thirty minutes for all you know. You hear someone bang on the door and shout, you try to shout back, make a noise, anything, but all that comes out is a squeak and then a cough. You hear the door slam shut and tilt your head back against the wall. You spend the next probably twenty minutes but what feels like forever sitting there, focusing on your breathing, trying to keep it shallow and slow, while petting Monty to try and keep him and yourself calm.

“Y/n?” You hear a shout, instantly recognizing it to be Harrison and you try to shout back, keeping your eyes closed so the smoke doesn’t hurt them too much. The door swings open, banging against the wall, followed by heavy footsteps towards you. “Y/n” he repeats, calmer this time. You open your eyes and despite the burning the smoke causes, you’re met with blue eyes, ones that you know oh so well. It makes you breathe easier. For just a second before the smoke makes you close your eyes again you think that you saw tears.

“I’m gonna carry you down okay? Just wrap your arms around my neck and let me do the rest.” You nod and Harrison takes this as his cue to get you out.

Harrison takes a deep breath and holds it as he takes off his oxygen mask, giving it to you instead. He slowly lets out small puffs of air in spaced out intervals, trying to preserve his air as long as possible. He puts one arm under your knees and the other around your back while your arms go around his neck like he said. He starts to lift you up when you let out a singular word in a breathy voice.

“Monty”

“I’ll get him,” Tom pipes up and lifts Monty up effortlessly, following Harrison out of the building.

Once he’s far enough away from the building and behind the trucks he sets you down carefully, immediately wrapping his arms around you. You reciprocate, pulling him tighter to you momentarily until you pull off the mask. Harrison’s breathing heavily, his chest rising and falling as he looks at you. He takes off his helmet, throwing it to the floor so that he can lean in and press his lips against yours. Over and over and over again just wanting to feel you close to him. Relish in the feeling of having you in his arms.

“I was so worried about you” Harrison lets out through a choked sob. They were definitely tears and now they run down his cheeks, making evident trails down his face.

“‘M okay, Haz. Right here, Harrison, right here.” You reassure as he pulls you back into a hug, resting his chin on your head and placing soft kisses into your hair, ignoring the overwhelming smell of smoke that will likely take you days to get off.

A paramedic taps you on your shoulder and directs you over to her ambulance where you sit while she checks you over for any burns, nursing the burn on the back of your hand while Harrison and Tom go back in again to put out the fire. Once it’s out Harrison immediately walks over to the ambulance you’re at as the paramedic wraps your hand.

“Hey, lieutenant,” You say, removing the mask momentarily to speak. Harrison pushes it back against your face, a cute grin on his lips.

“Put the mask back on. Don’t be like me” He chuckles and you do too as he hops up on the back of the ambulance with you, starting to take off his jacket. You can’t help but watch his arms as he pulls off the jacket, letting it fall behind him. The paramedic takes your mask from you, hanging it up and handing Harrison a different line. Before placing it over his face he leans over and whispers in your ear.

“Only the paramedic that I have a crush on gets to take off my jacket for me” You shake your head at him, the reference to when you had first asked him out made you smile. The stupid grin on your lips never faded as the paramedic checks over him, finding nothing. After a few minute,s she hangs up the oxygen mask and signals for the two of you to hop out.

“Thank you” You mumble, pulling Harrison into a hug before he can even get his jacket on. He doesn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around you.

“For what?”

“Saving me”

“I shouldn’t have had to. If he’d only done his job-”

“Harrison it’s okay. You can deal with him later. For now can we go somewhere to stay for the rest of the night?” You press a hand against his cheek and Harrison leans into your touch. He relishes in the warmth that your hand provides for a moment before nodding.

“My spare bedroom is free for you guys if you’d like” Tom pipes up from a little bit away from you two, giving the two of you space while he pets and plays with Monty, keeping him occupied while you and Harrison reunite.

“We should probably stop back at the station first, finish the report and grab our stuff but then we’ll be on our way over. Can you take Monty over and we’ll meet you there after?” You nod and Harrison gives you a small peck before you squat done to call Monty over to you. Monty runs up and nearly knock you over as he jumps up onto you, licking your face and neck. Harrison and Tom are soon called away and Tom shouts back where the spare key is as they head back to the trucks.

And only a few minutes after you’d gotten settled into bed in Tom’s spare bedroom,  familiar arms wrap around you, pulling you against his chest and pressing kisses into your hair as the strange and comforting faint scent of smoke mixing with cologne and shampoo engulfs you as well. You turn around in his arms and press your lips against his.

A “you came back” kiss.

He’ll always come back to you.

tags: @badhollandfluff @devilmendes @khalesprix @soccerstud004 @phia-eilice @hjosterfield  

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[starshine583]

Le Paon Part 2

(oof~ this is a day late I’m sorry guys. Here ya go.)

Part 1 / Part 3

Felix glared down at the lump of blankets in front of him, unimpressed.

“Adrien.” He said sharply, picking up a pillow and smacking the pile of blankets with it. “Get up.” 

The pile shifted, and Adrein’s head popped out, mumbling incoherent sentences- something about Ladybug and.. hamsters? He had the weirdest dreams.

Felix huffed and grabbed the edge of the blanket. “This whole school thing-” He ripped off the covers “-was your idea. Get up!”

Adrien shivered towards the sudden loss of warmth.

“Fe~ five more minutes~” His little brother whined, lazily grabbing at the air.

Felix scoffed. It’s already been four days since they started school. He should be used to the sleep schedule by now!

Throwing the blankets aside, He scowled and climbed onto the bed. Adrien barely even had time to look at him before Felix shoved him off the bed. 

Adrien yelped, flopping onto the ground. 

“Get. Up.” Felix hissed.

“Fe..” Adrien began, voice muffled from landing face first on the floor. “You haven’t had your coffee yet, have you?” 

“And what if I haven’t!” 

Adrien grunted as he pushed himself off the floor. “Yeah, I figured. I’m gonna go get ready.”

“About time.” Felix rolled his eyes.

The blonde chuckled, patting him on the shoulder. “You go get yourself some coffee so I can make it through your grumpy mornings.” 

He narrowed his eyes, though he didn’t argue, simply spinning on his heel and stalking out the door. His caffeine addiction was itching at him anyway, and he could already smell the delectable aroma of freshly brewed coffee grounds. 

Felix reached the bottom of the stairs, sparing a glance to his father’s office. Nathalie stood guard in front of the door, still as a statue. They’d chalked it up to waiting for them in the morning, but Felix knew better. He used to be able to enter Gabriel’s office whenever he wished, until he saw that hole the other day. Suddenly, his Father was “too busy” or “working on a special project that was top secret”. 

They were hiding something, and he was determined to find out what that something was. 

For now, though, coffee.

-

Steam clouded the air as the dark liquid spilled over into the silver thermos. Felix twisted on the cap, ensuring it would stay piping hot, and set the glass pitcher back into the coffee maker. This particular brand was a special cinnamon mix he’d decided to try. 

“I’m ready!” Adrien announced from the doorway. He wore his usual, black t-shirt along with his white, near-short-sleeved jacket and jeans. His wavy, golden hair swept to the side and his smile could probably light up a Christmas tree.

Felix squinted, mockingly holding up his hand as though he were trying to shield his eyes from the sun’s light. “How do you do that?” 

He hadn’t even woken up till five minutes ago! How did he look so energized?

“Don’t know whatcha mean, Fe.” The model replied innocently.

Felix rolled his eyes, noting the energy drink Adrien pushed further into his bag. How he got it, Felix doesn’t know, considering their forbidden around the house, but there’s no point in calling him out on the matter. Adrien needs to learn to defy some of their Father’s rules, to be honest. There are far too many of them to be reasonable.

Nathalie cleared her throat from the other room, a quiet sign it was time to leave. 

The boys grabbed the rest of their things, Felix making sure to put his extra thermos in his bag, and headed for the door.

“You got your other thermos?” Adrien asked, mirth reflecting in his bottle green eyes.

Felix nodded, proudly opening his bag to reveal the second thermos. 

Adrien snorted. “You’re so paranoid. Isn’t that heavy or something?” 

He shrugged in response and took a sip of his coffee, sighing in pleasure towards the warm, cinnamon taste. 

“You never know. Best to be prepared.” Felix stated simply.

“Right, right. Well, when you don’t end up using the thermos, I get ten bucks for calling it.” 

Felix smirked. “I’ll take that bet.” 

~~~~~~

I’m late, I’m late, I’m sO LATE! Marinette panicked, racing down the sidewalk towards the school. How did she manage to sleep through her three alarm clocks?!

She rushed up the front steps of the school. The halls were obviously empty since class started five minutes ago. They were probably waiting for her, waiting to make fun of her for being late again. It only made things more embarrassing that everyone was most definitely in class all ready.

Well, everyone, except for a certain Felix Agreste, apparently.

Neither had time to register the other’s presence, as Marinette slammed right into his back. Clangs and Thumps echoed through the hallway as their things spilled onto the floor. 

“I-I’m so sorry!” She apologized, immediately kneeling down to pick up their stuff. The books had scattered across the floor, along with an odd, brownish liquid. 

Marinette squinted, following the trail of the mysterious substance to a silver thermos. It took a full minute to register what it was.

Then she completely paled. 

Oh gosh. Oh gosh his coffee. She’d made Felix Agreste drop his coffee. What was she gonna do? No doubt he’d march right up to the principal’s office and demand she be expelled for her ignorance. What would she tell her parents? Which school she be transferred to? Would she still be able to make friends their? Maybe Alya could visit her on weekends?

A stifled chuckling came to her ears, and she blinked.

Carefully glancing up, She saw Felix brushing off his black vest and dark grey, button-up shirt while laughing. 

“Thanks. You just got me ten dollars.” He said, a faint smirk on his lips. 

Marinette blinked again. Did he just.. Thank her? With a smile, no less?? 

Felix knelt down next to her, his pale blonde hair falling over her eyes slightly as he helped her gather the books on the floor. Once he was finished with that, he proceeded to pull another thermos out of his leather backpack. He even pulled out napkins!

“How..?” 

 “I live with Adrien. He’s a lot more chaotic than you think.” He glanced up at her, a mischievous glint in his cool, blue eyes. “You never know when something like this might happen.”

Marinette felt there was a hidden meaning behind those words. 

“W-well, that’s good..I guess.” She replied dumbly. He was being so.. Nice?? I mean, He’d never been mean to her before. You know, in the four days he’s attended their school, but she’s seen the way he acts around other people, specifically Chloe Bourgeois. Marinette never wanted to be on the end of his bone chilling glares.

The two stood, Marinette shoving her books back into her bag while Felix placed his now-empty thermos in his. 

“I need to go to class. Try to watch where you're going next time.” He advised, probably sounding more rude than he intended. 

Marinette smile sheepishly and nodded, watching as he walked away. She shook her head, still in disbelief towards his gentle demeanor. They haven’t really talked all that much yet, but maybe they should. 

She ran her hand over her phone, making sure there weren’t any cracks from it hitting the floor.

Then she saw the time and gasped.

“Ah! Now I’m even more late!” 

~~~~~~

Felix almost whistled as he walked into his classroom and sat in his designated seat. That ten dollars was all too easy to achieve. Marinette had been delightfully predictable in her tardiness, and, as he expected, didn’t even see him coming when he stepped out in front of her. He imagined Adrien would grumbled about it when he overheard Marinette tell Alya of the collision in class. 

Her panicked, bluebell eyes and jumbling words came to mind, and he smiled. Even if he hadn’t done it on purpose, Felix wouldn’t have found it in himself to be upset. She was too cute when she got nervous.

Out of the corner of his eye, a brunette-haired boy peeked over the back of his seat, tentatively searching his desk. When his gaze landed on Felix’s cup, the boy sighed in relief and straightened. 

“We’re clear! He’s got his coffee!” The brunette grinned, sliding into the seat next to him. 

Felix rolled his eyes, but a girl in the class giggled.

“You really think lack of coffee is the only reason he’s bitter?” She teased as she approached them, her sky-blue eyes filled with mirth.

“Yeah,” A dark-skinned boy in the seat in front of Felix spoke up, “If I had to guess, I’d say his coffee is sweeter than he is, and Felix takes his coffee black.” 

Claude, Allegra, and Allan. He’d met this trio on his first day in class, and they adopted him into their group on the spot, for whatever reason. Felix never actively hung out with them, but they did seem to drag him around a lot.

“Oh! Did you guys hear about the explosion in the art room the other day?” Claude said suddenly, getting that look in his chestnut brown eyes when he’s about to relay one of his pranks.

"Explosion?" Allan asked, shifting his green cap with interest and turning in his seat to face Claude. The brunette mostly talked with his hands, so you normally needed to see him when he told stories.

A devilish grin spread across Claude’s lips, and he shifted in his seat to prepare himself for the story.

“So! Alex wanted to make some glow-in-the-dark paint for this new graffiti thing. So she snuck in some chemicals from the lab-” He hunched over, mockingly shifting his eyes from left to right to look shady- “and started mixing them with the paint.” He rotated his finger in the air.

“Can’t you buy that at an art store?” Allegra cut in, absently trailing her fingers along her platinum blonde braid that hung over her left shoulder as she listened. 

Claude waved his hand. “Nah, she says it’s too expensive. Anyway, She’s mixing em’ together, and Nathaniel’s all like, ‘Isn’t that dangerous?’, and she’s all, ‘don’t be a wuss, Nath, it’s fine.’ So she keeps going. Now, I’m already taking cover in the back, cause I know it’s not gonna end well.” 

He holds up his hands as if he’s holding onto a canvas to hide behind it. “The stuff starts glowing- you could see it from there -and she’s like, ‘See, I told you it was fine’, but before she could even finish the sentence the entire thing just erupts and sprays paint everywhere!” 

Claude flails his arms around for emphasis of the explosion. 

“And they-” He pauses to laugh, trying to stifle it so he can continue. “And they just- they’re just standing there, looking down at the empty can of paint. Alex and Nathaniel are-” 

He bursts out laughing, holding his hand over his mouth. Allegra and Allan start chuckling from how contagious the laughter is. 

“They are covered in paint. Head to toe. I’m dying. Marc looks like he’s trying not to laugh and like he’s kind of disappointed cause it sprayed him too. And Nathaniel-” Claude snorts, shoulders shaking and fist banging on the desk from laughing so hard. 

“He just- he just looks at Alex. And he says- he says, ‘yeah. You sure told me.’” 

All three of them lose it. Even Felix is having trouble holding back a laugh. It was a good thing their class started at a different time today, else they all would have had detention.

“I didn’t know this school had an art room.” Felix commented, somehow being heard over the madness. Admittedly, he should have taken more initiative to tour the school grounds.

“Wait, really?” Allan was the first to speak, his chocolate brown eyes widening in surprise. 

Felix shook his head, and Claude dramatically gasped in disbelief.

“Oh, heck no. As soon as school is over, you’re coming to the art room with me.” The brunette declared firmly.

The next thing he knew, Claude was eagerly leading Felix through the school halls. 

True to his word, He’d grabbed Felix and rushed out of the classroom as soon as class was over. Even Allegra and Allan weren’t able to follow them, though Felix assumed they’d catch up later.

The brunette stopped in front of a muddy brown door, covered in flecks of paint with a tilted sign that read “Art Room”. He kicked open the door- not hard, but enough to create a dramatic entrance. From the looks the students inside gave him, Felix assumed Claude did that often. 

“Welcome to the Art Club!” Claude announced, gesturing around the room.

There were various projects around the room, such as unfinished paintings, scraps of cloth, papers, books, extra materials, etc. Paint flecks littered everything in the room, creating a lingering scent of the settled pigment. It was probably the result of the explosion that Claude mentioned earlier.

Claude waltzed inside as if he owned the place. “And now, to introduce the crew!” 

He pointed to a short girl with pink pigtails and black and green attire. “This is Alex! Her specialty is graffiti.”

Alex gave a half salute with two fingers as a greeting before going back to her project of Ladybug and Chat Noir. 

“That’s Nathaniel. He draws comics.” Claude continued, pointing to a boy who’s red hair fell over his eyes.

Nathaniel timidly glanced up from the sketchbook he was hunched over, muttering a quick “Hello”.

“Next up, We have~ Marc! The man behind the dialogues of Nath’s comics!” The brunette introduced, flamboyantly bowing towards a black haired boy currently hiding in his red hoodie.

“And last, but certainly not least, Marinette Dupain-Cheng!” 

Felix perked up, eyes darting to the corner Claude was gesturing towards. 

Marinette rolled her eyes, a playful smile on her lips as she set her sketchbook aside. 

“Hey guys! You’re joining the art room?” She asked, the excitement in her tone surprising him.

“I’m.. not sure. Claude was just showing me around.”

“Wait, wait.” Claude interrupted, brows furrowed in confusion. “You two know each other?” 

“We’ve run into each other a few times.” Felix smirked at Marinette, causing her to giggle towards the inside joke. The delicate pink spreading across her cheeks gave him an odd sense of satisfaction.

Claude only stared, dumbfounded. Then he pulled a pout. “Hey, what gives? You don’t smile like that for us! In fact, you don’t smile at all!” 

Felix’s smile immediately fell, and he rolled his eyes, attempting to ignore Marinette’s snort. 

“Is that all? I’m leaving otherwise.” 

“Oh wait! You haven’t seen my stuff yet!” Claude said hurriedly and ran to another corner of the room covered in various canvases. 

“And now, the moment you’ve been waiting for!” He began, holding an imaginary microphone to his mouth. 

Marinette smiled fondly and sat down in a chair, pretending to be the audience. Felix noticed the rest of the club members were doing the same. 

Claude made a small drum roll with his hands, and the others joined in shortly. Once he was confident they would keep the drum roll going, he stepped back towards one of the canvases.

“Ta-da!” He spun around the easel, a bright grin on his lips. A black stick figure was painted onto the white canvas, along with a yellow house with a red roof and a green tree. It almost looked like.. It was finger painted by a toddler.

Nevertheless, Marinette and the others laughed and cheered and clapped for him. Felix couldn’t help the feeling of.. relief. The painting was obviously less than impressive, but they gave him encouragement and praise anyway. It was refreshing. The thought of getting complimented whether your work was good or bad seemed extremely contradictory to the life style he’d grown up in.

“So what do you say, Felix, you wanna paint with me?” Claude asked, bringing him from his thoughts.

Felix hummed, looking around the room again. So full of life. Creativity. Of acceptance. 

“Not today.” Nathalie and Gorilla were already waiting for him. “But perhaps tomorrow.” 

Marinette was known to have a great taste for things. if she enjoyed it here, he might as well give it a shot. 

~~~~~~

Felix speed walked into the mansion, pushing Adrien in front of him. 

“What’s up, Fe? Why are we rushing?” His brother asked as they neared the steps.

Felix looked over his shoulder at the doors he purposely left wide open. 

“No time to explain.” He gave Adrien a final shove towards the stairs. “Go to your room. I’ll be up there in a minute.” 

Adrien didn’t have any time to question. Felix spun on his heel and walked briskly into their father’s office. It took Nathalie and gorilla around five to ten minutes to park the car. That’s all the time he had right now to investigate the room.

Swiftly slipping into the office, Felix went straight for the hole he saw four days ago. It was closed up now, but the outline was still visible. 

He knelt down and picked at the sides of the hole, hoping to force it open somehow. When that didn’t work, He searched the room for a stray switch. Under the desk, in the drawers, behind the curtains. Nothing. So he checked the computer for certain commands- the security system was linked to it, meaning it had access to all the openings in the house.

Still nothing.

Felix huffed, closing the tabs on the computer and turning to face his Mother’s abstract portrait. She looked so.. Happy. And warm. The exact opposite of their family as of late.

He moved towards the painting, a soft sigh escaping his lips as he ran his hand over the work of art. What would life be like if Father went missing instead? Not that he’d really want either of them to leave, but if he had a choice.. Felix was forced to believe that Emilie’s presence would be far more welcoming than Gabriel’s. What if neither of them left? Would they be a happy family? Just imagining-

Felix paused. He ran his hand over the painting again and knitted his eyebrows together. Are their supposed to be bumps in this painting? 

Again, he ran his hand over the art piece. Yes, there were most certainly bumps- No, no, not just bumps.. Notches?

The door swung open, and Felix yanked his hand from the painting.

“Felix, you’re not supposed to be in here.” Nathalie said sharply from the doorway. Despite her posture being firm, He could see the way her fingers nervously trailed up and down her clipboard, or the way her feet shifted just a bit too much. 

He met her eyes, composed, if not a bit panicked, though that could be one’s own imagination.

“Right. I was just looking for something.” He replied vaguely. 

Neither broke eye contact as he left the room. 

~~~~~~

Nathalie held her breath as Felix walked past her. Stay calm. No need to panic. Felix was only studying his mother’s painting, that’s all. No way he was trying to find the secret button to unlock everything she and Gabriel worked for. No. not at all. He was just a boy. He isn’t smart enough to figure them out without any completely obvious clues. Everything had been hidden quite well. They were fine.

These thoughts didn’t stop her from pacing as soon as she heard the door close. She needed to talk to Gabriel, but would he see her? She’s not supposed to interrupt him at these times..

Nathalie drew in a breath to calm herself. Desperate times call for desperate measures. 

She stepped in the middle of the circle and pushed in the two buttons on Emilie’s painting. The platform beneath her clicked, before slowly descending into the floor and bringing her with it. The first few minutes were met with darkness, concrete on all sides. It passed a door to Gabriel’s secret lair where akumatized people. Then, the concrete merged into glass, revealing a large, abandoned park. 

When the miniature elevator stopped, Nathalie started down the broad, metal pathway. Gabriel stood at the end of it, quietly watching the coffin of Emilie Agreste. 

“I’m sorry to bother you, sir, but I have concerns.”

Gabriel didn’t respond at first. He didn’t turn to face her.

Then, “About?” 

Nathalie pushed down her anxieties and continued, “Felix is getting suspicious. He’s started poking around your office, and he won’t listen to me. I think- well -I think it might be best if you talked to him.”

Her employer nodded absently, and she almost wondered if he even heard her. 

“So Felix is ‘getting close’?” He finally asked.

She nodded. “Yes sir.”

Gabriel hummed. “Maybe that’s a good thing.”

Nathalie’s eyes widened. “But sir-”

“Felix is the next in line for the company. He will be taking over one day. If I can’t trust him with things like this, then his role as my heir would be concerning.”

“Besides,” He murmured, lightly touching the glass of the coffin, “We need all the help we can get.” 

Nathalie resisted the urge to wretch. Help? From Felix? Absolutely not! They didn’t need help from a child. 

“Of course sir.” She nearly growled, gripping her clipboard a bit too tight.

You know what? Fine. let that selfish, egotistical brat work with them. Then Gabriel will finally realize how incapable his son really is.

~~~~~~

Felix rolled onto his side, catching the time on the alarm clock. 2am. Everyone should be asleep by now. Perfect.

He looked over at Adrien, sleeping soundly next to him in their shared bed. Carefully, Felix pulled off his side of the blankets. If his plan was going to work, he needs to keep Adrien asleep. Thankfully, that kid was a heavy sleeper. 

Once safely off the bed, Felix sneaked down the corridor, towards the stairs.

From what he could tell, the office was empty, no one guarding the door or residing inside. Felix flipped on the lights, looking around again just to be sure no one was watching him. 

His breath caught in his throat when he found the notches on the painting again. What was he going to find? Would he even find anything?

He pushed the buttons.

A familiar click echoed in the room.

Felix nearly fell backwards when the circle he was standing on started to descend. It took him lower into the ground, surrounding him in concrete. Where was it taking him? How long had this secret entrance been here without him knowing? On that note, why would they keep it a secret?

He jumped through the first door he saw.

Butterflies, pure white as freshly fallen snow, illuminated a huge, dome-shaped room. There were millions of them. Why?

A butterfly landed on his shirt, and Felix narrowed his eyes.

Wait.

His heart stopped in his chest as he studied the creature. These butterflies had appeared on the television just a few days ago. 

The same butterflies Hawkmoth had talked through.

Felix’s blood ran cold. 

No wonder the voice was so familiar! His Father practically raised him through a screen! (If you can call that “raising”)

The butterflies, the voice, the secret door. It had to be him.

But why?

“I see you’ve passed the test.” 

Felix whipped around, only to come face to face with Gabriel himself. 

“You!” He spoke without thinking for once. “This is all you! You’re Hawkmoth! Why would-” 

Felix paused, Gabriel’s comment finally catching up with him.

“What test?” 

His father smiled- a bit unnerving since he normally doesn’t do such things.

“Follow me.” 

Anticipation formed in the pit of stomach. He just found out his Father was a mass super villain. A super villain who wanted him to follow him down a strange, secret elevator. 

Now, why would that be a bad idea?

Felix pushed away the obvious warning signs and did as he was told. He needed answers. If this was the only way to get them, so be it.

The two stepped onto the circular platform- a tad “comfy” considering it was only made for one person -and started downward. 

Anxiety crawled up Felix’s chest when the concrete merged into glass. Another room, this time a large basement filled with an assortment of metals and plants. 

Gabriel was the first to step off the platform, footsteps echoing through the secret garden.

Since when did we have a basement? He thought to himself, following his father down the broad, metal walkway. What else didn’t he know? How much was Gabriel keeping from him? From them? What would Adrien think of all of this?

“It’s true that I’m Hawkmoth.” Gabriel spoke up, regaining Felix’s attention. “But, despite what Paris believes, I’m not after power. It’s such a trivial thing, can be gone in an instant. No, I have a mission. A purpose.”

“And what ‘mission’ would compel you to terrorize innocent people.” Felix scoffed. It was out of turn, but he was tired. And frustrating. The boy simply didn’t have time for their usual game of “perfect picture child”.

Gabriel spared him a glance, one softer than Felix expected.

“There’s someone I need to save.” 

Before Felix could question the comment, the man stepped aside, revealing a glass coffin.

Felix blinked, not believing his own eyes. It couldn’t be..

“Mom?” 

Emelie Agreste was lying peacefully in the coffin, eyes closed, mouth smiling, and a delicate bouquet of flowers resting in her hands.

He choked out a gasp, reaching out a shaking hand to touch the glass. “How is- why is she- she’s here? What- what happened? Why?” 

Gabriel sighed, staring down at his wife with a silent longing. It was still weird seeing him show any sort of emotion.

“She developed an illness, around two years ago. I did everything I could, took her to doctors, tried different concoctions of medicines, but in the end, she fell into a coma. I put her here, where she would be safe until I cure the disease.”

“How?” Felix found himself asking. He was becoming more invested in this than he should be. It was an illness, most likely terminal, and if it hadn’t been cured then, it’s not possible to cure it now. 

..right?

“The miraculous of Ladybug and Chat Noir.” A certain excitement laced the man’s tone. “When brought together, they can grant one wish. Anything you desire. If I can just get those jewels..” He trailed off, letting Felix fill in the blanks. 

The blonde tapped his fingers on the glass. It was definitely a mission, but was it worth it?

He looked down at his mother’s soft features. He remembered her sweet words and warm hugs, the way she tucked them in at night and played hide and seek.

And what wouldn’t a boy do for his mother?

“How can I help?” 

Tag list:  @im-here-for-the-content @novicevoice @mewwitch@minightrose @frostymoon11 @multishipper1needshalp@unabashedbookworm @unholykrow @trubel43@kaydenth3gayden @stardustrevoutionx @whatamessofwords @dani-ari @heaven428 @jaegertea

[isitreallyok]

Productivity and ADHD

We’re back at it again dear readers. As you all may have noticed there hasn’t been much in the realm of content this week which funnily enough brings me to our topic. I wanted to take a little bit to address productivity as a concept and talk a bit about my pressures in trying to maintain schedules.

Productivity seems like a really broad topic to try to cover.

It definitely is so I’ll leave it relevant to how it impacts my day to day and how I try to cope with it. Productivity is something that I have always struggled with. A part of my bipolar disorder comes with a steaming hot side of ADHD. Many people who don’t have experience with ADHD think that it is just people who can’t sit still or are constantly needing to do ten things at a time. While not entirely inaccurate, there is a lot more to ADHD than just this.

My experience with ADHD comes in a number of forms and one of those is starting a myriad of projects and not sticking with any of them until completion. This blog is just one example of that. When I first started things up I wanted to maintain a really tight Monday, Wednesday, Friday posting schedule so that I had routine content and a regular way to reflect on the challenges that life has been throwing my way. I got a post up Monday and now it is Saturday at 10 PM and we are only now at the second post for the week.

That isn’t a huge deal though. Like you mentioned when you first started your blog, this is a personal blog so you can feel free to work whenever you are able. There shouldn’t be any pressure about posting here.

You’re right. However here is what I have been working with. This entire week I have had idea after idea about what I want to write about and how I want to go through it. There are so many post ideas at this point that I have forgotten about half of them and sadly I lost the document I thought I had saved them in so lets just wait until the inspiration strikes again. The problem I’ve run in to is not actually that I have not wanted to write it’s that instead I have been in a place where I have been hyper focused on something else and by the time I even think to write for the evening it’s two days later.

A little peek behind the curtain would show that I have scheduled most of my posts to go up at or around noon on the normal release days. They are actually written a day or two in advance to give myself a bit of leeway just in case things get too long or the topic I’m working on writing about becomes too much in that moment. This week, rather than writing I have been hyper focused on Christmas shopping and finishing up my watch through of Kamen Rider Zero-One. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that, but I put myself under a bit of pressure about getting a post up when I went four days without actually blogging.

Why pressure yourself though? The blog is still small and all that is going to do is hamper your productivity even more.

Now you’re getting it. The thing about the way that my ADHD works is that I either have to have four things going on at once or I’m hyper focused on a singular task and don’t stop until it is completely perfectly. Often times the focal point of what I’m doing bounces between the two. Instead of simply working on things leisurely to a point where I’m content with what I have written and then posting it I find myself usually playing a video game or watching a television series while I’m working. At the same time as doing both of these things I also manage to be holding at least one, though usually closer to three, different conversations via Facebook Messenger topics as well as doing something on my phone that is also completely unrelated to any other task I’m performing in that moment as well.

Circling back for a moment to my hyper-fixation issue, the thing that I find myself focused on is not often the task at hand. Often times it is one of the many other things that I go am doing in the moment that becomes the task that has my attention. Usually these tasks are things that I would consider lower priorities, but require less brain power to complete. A problem of mine that I have that I am working towards changing is that when I hyper-fixate on something it must be done perfectly. When writing this means heavily editing something to the point of being willing to publish what I’ve written in that moment, when gaming it means that I have to achieve high scores, when cooking ingredients must be handled precisely, et cetera. Despite the fact that they require less brain power and effort to complete, the things that get my attention during a shift towards hyper-fixation typically become incredibly exhausting to work on.

If you’re unable to control what you fixate on when you’re multitasking, why not make all parts of the multitask related to the content you are trying to put out?

This is a very good point that to be completely honest has not been something that I have attempted very often. The difficulty when it comes to a large portion of things I write about here is that in order for me to do that I typically would need to have articles relating to the topics at hand up. Often times I will do a definition search to make sure that I know the top results to establish a baseline of what people may already understand about a topic, but finding videos relating to topics to have playing on a secondary screen while working and also reading an article about things isn’t always feasible.

For example, when I sat down to write this post I got distracted by Kamen Rider and put it on hold for a few hours because when I finished the episode I was on I had to go to the store. I got back and thought about how I wanted to address the topic and started with a google search of just the word productivity. I found a lot of information in the top results regarding workplace productivity and productivity of manufacturing, but not a whole lot regarding personal productivity in the day to day tasks. So rather than actually relating any of what we are talking about here to the workplace, I decided to just kind of wing it and go a different route. Without having that information present my mind jumped to about forty five different places, including about fifteen unrelated topics.

So while doing that works wonders in some aspects of the day to day, I don’t think that it will serve as a catch all.

I’m beginning to see a bit of what you mean about productivity being tricky to manage.

Despite all of the problems with hyper-fixation and focus issues, one of the biggest issues that I have with productivity actually has nothing to do with these factors or the pressure I put on myself to perform. Instead the problem stems from my own expectations of myself. As I mentioned earlier, the proclivity towards perfection when I put something out into the world with my name on it definitely exists. This means that if I’m not happy with something I typically will not release it. Seems fair enough, right? Well not quite.

I have found that sometimes when I focus on getting things just right before I release something I am actually not concerned about the product, but instead I am worried about failure. Thoughts akin to “What if people don’t like what I’m doing with this?”, “Will my audience truly understand the point I’m trying to make?”, and even “I understand this reference but it’s so niche I’m pretty sure that no one else will.” go through my head all the time as I’m working on various personal projects. These thoughts inhibit my ability to maintain productivity in what I’m working on and often result in dropping the task entirely before completing even a draft that I could release in the future.

How will you know what people think about your work if you never are able to release it though?

Ah, the age old question of would I be successful if I tried? It’s such a tricky thing. I find myself wanting to release a ton of different things that I have tried to work on. I even have managed to push myself out of my comfort zone to do exactly that in sharing ongoing projects as I am working on them. I’ve found that accountability does help me to have the desire to continue to work on projects because even when I receive negative feedback it still gives me a way to improve in the future, even if it feels bad to hear in the moment.

I have found that working on showing myself a little bit of compassion when it comes to putting out things that I may not find perfect has been wonderful. Though I’ll discuss more on self compassion in the future. Allowing myself the freedom to understand that perfection is a concept best forgotten about and accepting that failure is a part of striving towards success has been monumental in allowing myself the ability to set more attainable goals in my projects. Without that line of thinking, I likely would not have had the courage to make these posts public and to allow myself to be so vulnerable with the entire internet.

As usual though at this point we have strayed pretty far from the topic that I had originally planned for today. Initially this post going to be about productivity in the more mundane aspects of daily life. I think that will be the thing that we talk about next time. So now that we know what will be discussed next time here are our reminders three. You are stronger than you think, you are beautiful, and gosh darnit you are worth it! Keep kickin butt and I’ll see you next time, lovelies!

[ddaengyoonmin]

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

Genre: Smut, Angst, Fluff, Sci-fi !au; Enemies to lovers!au

Warning: possibly triggering for claustrophobia; swearing, family problems, handjob, fingering, unprotected sex, light biting, hickeys, dirty talk.

A/N: oh my gosh so this was so fun to write. Like just imagine being trapped in such a small space with such a fine man 😩 there’s a lot of dialogue because there isn’t much in the way of scenery but I tried my best to let the reader get a visual on the setting 💜 hope you guys like it! Let me know if you do!!!

Word count: 5.3k

Summary:

Life on this fickle planet a constant fight to survive. Temperatures that fluctuate from freezing to burning up in a single day.  Lifeforms on this planet are built to adjust to the boiling heat but when night comes...and the icy wind blows through the buildings, if you aren’t indoors you’re a goner.   So when your family kicks you out right before nightfall, they had basically left you for dead.  Frantically you run around the streets to get into one of the small heating pods that the city leaves out for emergencies, but with the rate of homelessness going up in your town, just as you feared they were all taken.  At the last second as the nightly alarm sounded telling everyone temperatures were about to hit deadly you see an empty pod! At full speed you jump inside and shut the door, unfortunately some rude man jumped in at the same time as you. You both are equally as annoyed with the other for having to share such an already cramped space.  Now you have to spend an entire night alone with this stranger while you wait for the heat to come again.  He's actually pretty cute...maybe this won't be so bad?

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The heavy metal door to your home was literally just slammed in your face. 

“You never carry your weight anymore y/n.  You don’t help with rent, and you never cook.  You might as well be homeless” your brother was shouting at you as you were getting thrown out of your home. 

Your whole body felt numb and your fists were clenched so tightly you felt that you might break your knuckles. 

“I’ll die out here!” you screamed. 

“You’ll find a pod with the other homeless people y/n” you could see through the small round glass window that was eye level on the door that your brother was rolling his eyes.

“And if I don’t I’ll die! You realize that right? How could you do that to your own sister?” you huffed. 

“Should’ve thought of that before you became a deadbeat” he glared, and then slid the metal cover to the window so that you couldn’t see him anymore. 

You couldn’t believe this was happening.  Here on Mercury, every night it gets so cold that you’d literally turn into an ice statues within seconds of the cold hitting.  It seemed to come almost on schedule, shifting slightly with the seasons but the town hall always sounded out a 5 minute warning every night. 

The cold could literally be seen creeping up over the horizon line and into the city as soon as the sun set.  A giant foggy blizzard that would wipe out anything in its path. 

You’d encountered some of the unfortunate victims of the cold many times in your life.  By the time you’d see them they’d been thawed and it was always a gruesome sight. 

Your mother would point and say “That’s why you never go out at night.  No matter what.  The cold will eat you alive, it’s like a monster” 

You shivered just at the thought. 

The city provided a limited number of emergency pods for those who might somehow find themselves on the streets at night.  You’d heard they were becoming scarce compared to the population of homeless that needed them to survive the night. 

The pods were a hard metal with insulation and heating inside that could withstand the freezing night.  They were extremely small and laid down with a twin bed size mattress inside, that fit snugly without any more space than that.  In height if you were laying down you couldn’t even extend your hands fully up to the sky.  It seemed like you’d feel pretty claustrophobic inside of it, but it was your only option. 

The sun was almost set and you were in survival mode now. You ran from where your former home is and started to search the streets for an open pod.  

If it was unclaimed the hatch would be up in the air and a green light would be shining on the outside. 

Closed, red light, next one...closed and red light...and so on down the road. 

“Shit.” You cursed under your breath.  This is not good. 

You try to go down another street and check, all full just like before. 

The five minute warning alarm started to ring loudly, startling you and making you realize your situation was becoming more and more hopeless.  You were too panicked to even cry.  

Then, like a glowing holy grail that you could practically see a heavenly shimmering light shining down on, (maybe it was just a street light…) You saw an open pod.  Hatch Open.  Green light. 

You ran at full speed towards it, jumping and sliding in like a baseball player sliding into home plate. 

Instantly as you had performed that acrobatic maneuver another person seemed to have the same idea and had slid in right along side of you, shutting the door behind him. 

His chest was heaving and he seemed to be in a sweat.  

“Fuck that was close, wait-” he suddenly realized now that you were in there with him. “Shit.  Oh my god what are you doing in here?” his eyes widened with confusion. 

“I should ask you the same thing?” you yelled annoyed.  “I was here first! Go get your own, I can barely be comfortable here alone” 

Just as you said that the automatic locks on the pod clicked shut, meaning that it was time for the deadly blizzard to hit, and you wouldn’t be allowed to leave the pod until morning. 

“God. Damnit” you groaned. 

Frost started to creep over the large clear window that the two of you were staring up with and freezing over and making you blind to the outside world, with a crackling sound that made you nauseous with worry.  This was your first time in a pod, and in your home you’d never heard the popping and snapping of everything in the town freezing over in an instant.  You had to remind yourself that you were safe in this pod. 

There was no room to sit up, only enough room to maybe lift your arms up a bit with your elbows only slightly lifted from your sides. It was so cramped and you could feel the man next to you now pressed against your side. 

“You have like at least  six inches of room you could move over to, you know.” you turned your head and glared at him. 

He simply just scoffed and shook his head, crossing his arms over his chest stubbornly and bumping his elbow against you as he did. 

“Oh my god.  I’m stuck here with an asshole” you muttered to yourself. 

“Maybe don’t call the asshole an asshole out loud. He can hear you” he narrowed his eyes at you. 

“I meant for you to hear.” 

There was silence for the next ten minutes.  You knew you weren’t going to be sleeping tonight, this guy could be a total creep, so you couldn’t risk it. 

He on the other hand was relaxing with his eyes closed.  You looked him over for a bit trying to figure out a little bit about the stranger next to you, He seemed about your age, he was actually quite attractive, though him being a rude asshole kind of ruined that thought for you.  His hair was jet black, and actually seemed to be styled well considering the running he probably had to do to get to the pod.  His clothes were nice, black jeans and a clean expensive looking royal blue hoodie, with a black t-shirt peeking out from underneath it.  So he probably wasn’t homeless you deduced from these observations. 

How did he end up out here at night? Wrong place wrong time? Kicked out of home like you were? That would be a crazy coincidence.  

Out of nowhere his leg spread out to the side and his foot kicked your foot. 

“Watch it!” you snapped. 

“Deal with it” he said in a high pitched mocking tone. 

“I’m sorry are you six years old?” you replied appalled at his immaturity. 

He opened his eyes and sent an annoyed look your way. 

“Look, we can’t do anything about this situation, but the least you could do is be considerate.”  You scolded

“When are you gonna stop talking and let me get some sleep” he groaned and proceeded to stretch out even more, starting to push you into the wall of the pod, squishing you tightly against it. 

You gasped and tried to push back but to no avail, he was stronger than you and obviously lacked any sort of common courtesy for others. 

It was now more of a 75/25 split of space in the pod with him hogging all of the space.  You realized that you’d have to stoop to his level if you wanted to regain some ground here in the pod.

He was playing childish games, so could you.  Though you did debate for a second on whether this could pan out badly, you decided...fuck it. 

You reached a hand up towards his neck, the only spot on him currently showing skin, and you pinched him hard. 

“OW. What the fuck.” His hand shot up to his neck, accidentally hitting his knuckles hard on the ceiling of the pod as he did. 

“Move over” you demanded. 

“Or you’ll pinch me again? You psycho!” he stared at you in shock as if he wasn’t the one who started it.  His face was growing red with rage directed at you and he pinched you back on the arm, making you yelp loudly. 

“How do you like it huh?” 

“What the actual hell man.  Just move over and give me equal space so we can cut this out.”

He sighed and reluctantly moved over just slightly, definitely not giving you half the space, but you were going to take this small victory for now. 

It was about another thirty minutes before you spoke again.  He seemed to be feeling quite comfortable, while you on the other hand were still pressed tightly against the padded side of the pod.  You could turn on your side to give your upper body more room, but usually if you slept on your side you’d curl your legs up slightly to be comfortable, and that was definitely not possible right now. 

“Hey.” you poked him in the shoulder. 

His eyes flickered open to glance at you, then shut again. 

“Hello?” you tried again, poking him harder. 

He ignored you, but he was obviously awake and it now had got you fuming. 

“You still have all the room” you growled. 

He stayed still on his back, his eyes closed and his face relaxed, a small smirk now forming on his lips. “Hmm. Maybe you could lay on top of me and that could give us a little more room” 

That earned him a hard smack to the shoulder, and he was lucky he was wearing a sweatshirt cuz it would’ve probably stung if he wasn’t. 

“Pervert!” you gasped at him. 

“Not a pervert, just trying to be...innovative” he grinned widely. 

You shake your head in disbelief at this odd person. 

“You are probably the rudest man I’ve ever met in my life” you grumbled. 

“Ah, Is my award in the mail?” he joked, finally opening his eyes and staring at you with a teasing look. 

You took a deep breath in and out a few times, trying to calm yourself down so you don’t completely try to choke out this man. Just about 8 more hours and you’ll be rid of him, you tried to tell yourself, as if that wasn’t an eternity to be trapped in such a tight enclosure with this piece of work. 

“Having trouble breathing? You’re being loud” he complained. 

“Just trying convince myself I’d rather not go to jail for murder tonight.” you hissed out at him. 

He chuckled at that, of course he did.

“I’d appreciate it if you didn’t.  But there are some that might thank you”

“Why does that not surprise me” 

The two of you sat in silence again for a while, until he actually scooted himself away from you a few more inches. 

“THANK YOU” you practically screamed. 

“Geeze, you’re annoying” he reached his hands up holding his ears, wincing as if you’d deafened him. 

Your eyes were narrow slits staring at him now. 

A few more minutes of silence.

“I can’t seem to sleep with you right there all obnoxious and whatnot, so...for the sake of boredom.  What’s your name sweetheart?” He turned over onto his side facing you, his shoulder only a few inches from the ceiling of the pod. 

“Well its most certainly not sweetheart so wipe that one from your vocabulary immediately please” you snapped. 

His eyes crinkled with amusement. “Ah It seems I’ve hit a nerve there.” 

“Not really, it’s just stupid to asume that you can talk to a girl so flirtatiously when you’ve been nothing but a jerk so far.”  

“So what can I call you?” 

“Y/n…” you gave it up, though you didn’t quite want to.  You crossed your arms over your chest and stared straight up to the bland grey nothingness on the ceiling of the pod. 

“Aren’t you going to ask for my name?” he said cutely, but in a way that you knew he was just trying to get under your skin. 

You’d been here with him for about an hour, and he was already up there on one of the most annoying people you’d ever encountered.  Maybe you were extra sensitive because of the whole family leaving you for dead thing, but that’s not the worst excuse to be on edge is it? And he was the one who was rude first, you were simply returning the attitude he had entered the pod with. 

You didn’t quite feel like trying to play nice all of the sudden just because he had gotten bored.

“I’m Yoongi” he said pointing at himself, as if you needed to know where the voice that was mere inches away from you had come from. 

“Didn’t ask” 

“I know I just figured I knew yours now, so we’re even”

“Kay.” you continued avoiding looking his way. 

“Aw c’mon.  I was just upset to have to share the pod.  I’ve calmed down I’ll be good” he spoke in a sickenly sweet tone as if that could persuade you to forget how much of a dick he had been. 

“y/n-ah” he whined cutely. 

“Oh my god, I regret telling my name” you groaned finally turning to look at him. “What do you want?” 

“I’m just bored, I’m usually in a pod by myself and just sleep, but I can’t seem to sleep...and you’re here so…” He shrugged. 

You sighed. “So uh...you sleep in pods often?” maybe you had misjudged him by his nice clothes. 

“For the past month or so I have been” his eyes widened and he felt he needed to add, “I have a home though! I’m not one of those homeless deadbeats.  My new job is just too far to get home to usually, so on the days I work late I have to hop in one of these” 

You were silent for a moment before speaking, “Oh.  Well, I am one of those homeless ‘deadbeats’ so that's great to hear your thoughts on that” you frowned.  Slightly embarrassed now, not that you wanted to impress him or anything, but the idea that this was your new reality and this was how you’d be thought of was sinking in hard as he spoke those words. 

“Shit, uh-” he thought for a moment, trying to come up with a was to back pedal from what he’d said. - “I didn’t mean it like that.  I didn’t think...You just don’t seem like…” he stuttered out. 

“Its fine.  It's actually my first day of this lifestyle.” you motioned to the entirety of the pod as best you could. 

Yoongi pursed his lips and seemed to have gotten more serious, “Oh, Can I ask what happened?” 

You honestly didn’t really want to talk about it with him, but you did want to vent to someone about it, and he was here so, as was becoming the theme for the night...fuck it. 

“I lost my job about a year ago and moved back home with my parents and brother.  My brother is a doctor and the apple of my parent’s eye.  They’d said they would help me get back on my feet.  But, uh.  I just couldn’t seem to get there.  It’s not that I’m lazy” you frowned, Yoongi was surprisingly listening intently and nodding as you spoke.   “Well, maybe I could’ve done a bit more to find work.  I just struggled a lot with getting my shit together.  So I guess they decided they’d had enough.  So here I am” 

Yoongi’s eyes were wide in disbelief “They just left their own child to the night?” 

“Not everyones got a perfect family” you shrugged acting like it was no big deal.  When the reality was you were trying your best to hold back tears and not cry in front of this stranger you were confiding in for some reason. 

“Yeah, I feel that.  I didn’t mean to sound judgemental.” he said apologetically.  “And sorry I was being a dick to you.  I don’t do well with new people, and I’ve had a shit day...not as bad as yours though, so...sorry if I made it worse,” 

You were taken aback by his out of character apology.  He now drastically seemed to differ from the man who first hopped into the pod with you. 

“Its..okay.  I won’t hold it against you I guess” you smiled a bit and turned on your side to face him.  He had to maneuver a bit so that you both could lay comfortably face to face, this time he didn’t make it a hassle which was a relief to you. 

The two of you ended up chatting for the next couple hours.  You learned that Yoongi worked at a large factory that did welding, and helped make the pods, and metal that went on the outside of the houses in the city.  He was an only child to parents that lived in another town that was a lot poorer, and he had moved here by himself which was quite the difficult task due to having only about 12 hours to get to the next place where a pod was or risk death.  Even now he risked every night that he might not find a pod and be stuck on the streets after a late work shift.  He did all of that just so he could send money back to his parents. 

It really changed how you thought of him now, he wasn’t as cold, immature and uncaring as he’d first portrayed himself. 

You realized now the nicer you found him to be, the more his very apparent attractiveness was affecting you. 

You couldn’t help but have your gaze accidentally leave his eyes while he spoke, and travel to his lips.  Feeling yourself getting lost in how soft they looked, how much they looked like they’d feel amazing to kiss. 

Yoongi was now taking off his sweatshirt and was going to use it to prop his head up a bit while the two of you continued talking. 

As he took it off, his black t-shirt underneath slipped up slightly and you were able to see his beautiful pale skinned stomach, toned, with a slight v-line pointing down into his jeans.  Small tufts of hair also leading in a trail so your gaze traveled further down that direction, almost as if there was a big flashing sign that said ‘LOOK HERE’. And that you did, biting your lip as you felt a tingle hit right in your lower stomach at the sight. 

Yoongi pulled his shirt down as soon as his sweatshirt was off, but you didn’t look away fast enough and you’d been caught checking him out.

You quickly snapped your eyes back up to his face, a slight embarrassment now forming on your face. 

Yoongi smirked, knowing exactly what you’d been doing.  

“Want me to just ignore that I saw that?” he snickered. 

You couldn’t quite find the words to explain yourself, a series of um’s and sorry’s awkwardly spilling out of your mouth. 

“No need to be sorry, I’m hot. I know it.” he winked.  

There’s that cocky man that hopped into the pod with you.   This time you were less bothered by his overconfidence, because...well, he wasn’t wrong.

“Yeah, Um...you really are” you said embarrassed and not believing that you were admitting that to his face.

“You’re hot too you know.” he smiled mischievously. “What are the odds two attractive people like us get stuck together like this” 

Your face was now burning hot at that compliment.  You didn’t think you were by any standard as hot as him. 

“Shit, don’t get all awkward about it, I’m just being honest and stating the facts” he laughed. 

“I’m not though” you whispered. 

“For real? Your last boyfriend didn’t tell you every day how hot you were? I would.” he stated.  

“Uh, no” you stammered awkwardly “I haven’t dated since highschool and I wasn’t quite the catch” 

“Doubt it” Yoongi said with another smirk “And I’m not just saying that cuz you threatened to kill me earlier” he chuckled

“Well...thanks” you spoke shyly. 

Yoongi was now moving closer to you, your faces somehow ever closer than the two of you already were in this cramped space. 

“I like your nose” he smiled and booped you with one finger. 

Your eyes widened and you got even more bashful.  “Ah, no, I’ve always hated my nose”

“But it’s so cute!” he grinned widely.  

What the hell is happening.  How did your night become this.  And why do you never want it to stop.  This asshole that you hated, now knows everything about your situation, and he’s still sitting here complimenting you.  Maybe he just realized it’s better to be on good terms since you’d still be stuck here together for about 5 more hours. 

“Your nose is cuter” you decided to say in return.  What’s the harm? And you were just stating the facts.

“Your lips are cute” he replied a bit softer. 

“Your eyes are cute” you countered, somehow this was now turning into a game. 

“Your voice is cute” 

“Your smile is cute” 

“Your laugh is cute”

“Your...everything is cute” you giggled. 

“I want to fuck you.” he whispered, his eyes now glued to your lips. 

You inhaled sharply in surprise. 

“Y-you w-what?” 

“You heard me” he tilted his head up with confidence as he looked you up and down. 

You stared silently and eyes wide as saucers at him. 

“You don’t want to?” he cocked an eyebrow up at you. 

“I-It’s not that I don’t want to...it’s just, we just met you know?” 

“Can you think of a better way to kill the next 5 hours?” 

“If it’s just out of boredom that’s gonna be a no from me” you scoffed, realizing that maybe he really wasn’t attracted to you, and was just flattering you for fun. 

“Well, honestly, yeah, it’s mostly boredom.  But, also you’re really fucking hot and I’ve been hard for the past hour and I usually jack off when I’m in here.  So either you just turn the other way while I do that, or…” he grinned at you as he brought a hand up to brush your cheek gently and seductively. 

What was tonight’s theme again? Oh yeah...fuck it.

You were closing the space between your lips and his in an instant.  Your hand grabbing the back of his neck as you pulled him into frantic kisses.  You could feel him smiling into your lips, pleased with his victory. 

You felt one of his hands start to cup your breast, squeezing slightly before stopping to slip his hand up your shirt to feel you completely.  He took his thumb and index finger and started to roll your hard nipple between them, pinching slightly every once in a while causing a loud moan from you into his mouth. 

He seemed to like the noises you were making, trying to repeat movements that caused you to be the most vocal. 

You pushed on his chest with your hands slightly, silently asking him to give you some space so you could just take your shirt and bra off completely.  He happily obliged, staring at you with eager eyes as you undressed yourself. 

You then tugged at the hem of his black t-shirt, requesting that he do the same.  He smiled and pulled his t- shirt over his head.  You could now fully see him in all his glory, his body was so perfect and just the sight of that v-line and happy trail again had your core start to grow wet with arousal. 

“Fuck.  You’re so…” you put a hand to his chest, sliding your fingertips down lightly, causing him to shiver under your touch. 

He bit his lip, his eyes on your chest as well. 

Your hands had reached the button on his jeans and you found yourself scurrying to unbutton them as fast as you could.  

Yoongi pulled you in close as you did, planting heavy kisses on your jaw and then your neck. 

You finally achieved what you’d been after, pulling his jeans and boxers down enough for his cock to spring free and rest against his abdomen.  You wet your lips at the sight. 

“I wish I could...taste you, I don’t think I’ll be able to position myself to though” you pouted in disappointment.  This small space was really making things difficult. 

“Just touch me” he muttered, kissing your neck more and grabbing at your tits. 

You did as he said, wrapping a hand tightly around the base of his shaft.  

He jerked forward slightly into your touch and let out a small whimper at the feeling of you.  

“I want you so fucking badly y/n” he murmured into your ear, then bit down lightly on your lobe. 

Now it was your turn to whimper with pleasure.  

Your hand started to move up and down stroking Yoongi, he groaned lowly when you made your way to the tip, tightening your hand around him as you stroked up and down. 

You stop for a moment and unbutton your pants, slipping your hand down to your soaking core, and tried to gather as much wet as you could on your hand, then grabbing onto Yoongi again. 

His eyes bugged out at the sight of you covering him with your wetness. 

“Holy shit t-that was h-hot” he moaned as you started pumping his cock now lubricated with your wetness, making your hand glide smoothly around him.   

His whole body would lunge forward slightly when your thumb pressed along the underside of his cock and up the tip.  

He pressed his lips into yours hungrily as you continued,  your tongues meeting inside of your mouth. 

His hand was now making its way into your jeans, pulling them down slightly and slipping his hand in past the fabric of your panties.  Two fingers were moving along your slit, and Yoongi growled excited when he felt how wet you were. 

“You’re really enjoying yourself hm?” he grinned against your lips. 

“Mhmm” you moaned. “So much” 

One of Yoongi’s fingers started to slip inside of you, you let out a needy moan at the feeling of him pressing into you and curling as he started to move in and out slightly.  The tip of his thumb pressing on your clit and moving circles around made you throw your head back in ecstacy. 

“Fuck baby, you’re so needy for me.  You like how my fingers feel touching your pussy?” he smiled excitedly. 

“Shit. Yes! I love it Yoongi!” you practically screamed. 

“Fuck, moan my name again baby” he growled, biting his lip and inserting another finger next to the one already inside of you. 

“Oh my god Yoongi, that feels so fucking good” your mouth opened widely as you felt yourself speeding towards your orgasm.  You continued to stroke his cock the best you could but your pace was unsteady and unfocused. 

“Cum on my fingers baby, cum screaming my name” 

Yoongi slid his fingers in and out of you rapidly and circled your clit even faster. 

“Y-yoongi, I’m gonna cum!” your eyes squeezed tightly shut as you reached your earth shattering high.  Still holding his cock in your hand but not moving it. 

You continued to let his name fall loudly from your lips as the waves of pleasure flowed through every inch of your body, jerking forward at the sensation of his fingers still moving inside of you while you came. 

Yoongi smiled and looked at you in awe, “That was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen in my life.  Wow.” 

He then grabbed your hand and moved you off of him, then turned you so you were laying on your back again.  He maneuvered his way on top of you, still so close due to the low ceiling. 

He leaned down and took your lip between his teeth and dragged them across your skin, releasing your lip with a groan coming out of his own. 

You kicked your jeans and panties off of your legs almost entirely, one leg still had the pants wrapped around your ankle but you couldn’t be bothered to keep going with it as Yoongi eyed you so seductively, almost begging to be inside of you already with just his stare. 

He positioned his cock between your folds, sitting at your entrance for a moment. 

“You were so tight around my fingers, I don’t know if I’m going to last long inside that perfect pussy” 

You closed your eyes and smiled “Fuck me Yoongi, I can’t wait to feel you” 

At your words he was pressing his length into you, the wetness allowed him to enter with ease, but your walls gripped onto him tightly. 

He moaned so loudly as he entered you, dropping his head into the crook of your neck and leaving a trail of kisses. 

He grabbed one of your breasts in his hand and returned to playing with your nipple.  

“Ah-Yoongi, Fuck” you whined.  Which only encouraged him to speed up his pace thrusting into you, bucking his hips up into you quickly at a pace that almost felt unbearable. 

“Fuck baby, take it.  You can do it.  You’ve been so good for me” he encouraged into your ear. 

“Y-yoongi.  Its too much, I’m already gonna c-cum again” you whimpered. 

“Then cum baby” he raised his head and smirked as he looked down at you under him.  Kissing you on the cheek. The sound of your wetness as Yoongi pounded into you was so loud and erotic.  You couldn’t take it anymore. You raised your head up as you were on the verge of your high, your mouth found Yoongi’s neck and you sucked hard, scattering marks on him as you did. 

Your second orgasm hit like a loud drum, you could feel the vibrations flow through out you and your heart was beating rapidly. 

“Damn” Yoongi whispered. 

You felt him tense and give a few more hard pumps before he slowed and then quickly pulled out into a plank position. 

“y/n” he moaned.

Luckily you got the memo of what he meant and grabbed onto his cock, jerking him off while he twitched and cum spurted out all over your chest, some even reaching up to your neck due to your bad aim. 

You started to giggle at that and then Yoongi joined in the laughter as he realized that you had some on your jaw now. 

He went to roll off of you and hit his head on his way over. 

“Aw shit” he yelled. 

Which only made the two of you start to laugh harder.  Once you wiped the forming tears in your eyes away and calm yourself down holding your stomach “Yoongi…”

“Hm?” he whispered, now relaxing, naked, with his eyes closed and his hands behind his head, you were cuddled up with your head close to his chest. 

“I need to clean up…” 

“Ah right” he tossed you his sweater. 

“You sure? This is a nice sweater?” 

He nodded and smiled.  You wipe yourself up and shoved the sweatshirt down by your feet. 

“That was so much fun y/n” 

You beamed up at him “I had fun too…” 

“Come stay with me” he mumbled so low you thought you must’ve misheard him. 

“W-what?”

“You have nowhere to go.  I’d hate for something to happen to you, not make it to a pod at night or something.  Stay in my place” 

“I couldn’t possibly do that Yoongi.  That’s a lot…” 

“It’d just be as roommates, not asking you to marry me or anything” he chuckled “All I ask is that you cook and clean and stuff, I’m pretty shit at that… Can you do that?” 

“Fuck yes!” you shouted gleefully. 

“Good. Now let’s get some sleep.” He pulled you tightly into him, he was so warm, and so soft, and somehow this asshole ended up being an angel that saved you that night. 

Hopefully you can continue to repay him for his kindness.