#and I would really like to know why I didn’t get it. because one person on the committee has repeatedly praised my work ethic and how well I

[leahwllmsn]

good graces

alexia putellas x reader

word count: 3.4k

You dislike Alexia Putellas with everything in you. Or maybe you’ve been crushing on her all this time. Who knows.

The first thing you noticed upon entering the club was the sea of people that made it hard for you to even get to the booth. The music was blaring in your ears and the smell of smoke wafted towards your nose. A strobe light shone against your eyes, making you squint and stop in your tracks. Kika was walking ahead of you and you quickly grabbed onto her hand, forcing her to stop as well.

“What’s wrong?” Kika spoke towards your ear.

You shook your head, pinching the bridge of your nose. “I’m fine. Got disoriented for a second.”

“Okay.” Kika turned around, still keeping her hand linked with yours. You let yourself get dragged, Kika manoeuvring the both of you easily around the crowd.

It felt like forever until you finally reached the booth where the rest of the Barcelona players were occupying. Everyone was exchanging their ‘hi’s and ‘nice to meet you’s and you couldn’t focus on any of that. Not when you could feel her gaze on you.

The season was starting next week and since you and a couple of girls were new to the club, Patri decided to host a night out to introduce the newcomers. You knew a couple of the Spanish girls, having met them during international matches and exchanged contacts throughout your years in professional football.

There was one person, however, that… you didn’t really know how to explain it. Was she your enemy? Frenemy? You didn’t exactly hate her… But you didn’t exactly like her either. You’re pretty sure the feeling was mutual.

But it wasn’t that negative, soul-sucking, I-hope-she-dies type of hatred—at least, to you it wasn’t. It was more of… you couldn’t stand the stupid smirk on her face, it was infuriating, and even more so when she pushed you to the ground during matches or worse—when she completely humiliated you by nutmegging you and scoring a goal.

The smirk she sent your way after that was… maddening. You wanted to punch her, or something. You didn’t though. Instead you scowled at her throughout the rest of the game and you ignored her when everyone was shaking hands.

So you never really know where you stood with Alexia Putellas. The only words exchanged between you two were the heated curses on the pitch. Now that you two were going to be teammates, it was going to change the dynamics between you, definitely. You didn’t know in what way though.

You were never able to pinpoint why you disliked her so much, maybe it was because of the way she walked around the pitch like she owned the game before it even started. Like she was so confident that she would be winning—which was sexy as hell, yes, but it angered you. Because you were going to win, obviously. 

So maybe it was a good thing that you would be on the same team now. Maybe you could finally co-exist.

The situation had been on your mind ever since you signed for Barcelona. The uncertainty of it all was throwing you off. So you made a mental note to avoid her until you could figure it out.

Whatever ‘it’ was.

Your mantra before entering the club was to look away, to not spare her a glance. Not under any circumstances should you look her way. Period. 

It should be simple. It was simple.

All thoughts completely flew out the window the moment you arrived at the booth and you could feel Alexia’s eyes on you.

Ever since the first time you shook hands with her on the field (you were fifteen and she was sixteen), you had always known when her eyes were on you. Call it intuition or sixth sense or whatever.

So you had no choice but to look at her.

(She looked as good as you remembered.)

Your eyes locked for a second before Alexia broke away first, her eyes falling down to your left hand—your hand that was tightly intertwined with Kika’s. You saw the frown she sent your way and you sent her one back. Was it so hard to smile at someone?

You felt a tug at your hand and realised that Kika was motioning for you to take a seat. You glanced up once more at Alexia, but her gaze was now focused on the drink in front of her. 

You slid into the booth next to Kika and accepted the drink that Pina held out to you, muttering a ‘thanks’. Once you did, you felt the pair of hazel eyes from across the table back on you. 

Your eye contact lasted longer this time, you didn’t know why Alexia was looking at you like that. It was a gaze that felt so intense, making you instantly chug your drink. 

“Whoa,” you heard someone say, a giggle following after. “No rush, chica. We have all night.”

“Patri, nice to see you again,” you shouted over the music.

“You too!” She lifted a bottle of vodka, silently asking you if you wanted some, to which you nodded in reply. Patri took your now empty glass and poured some into it. “We’re out of shot glasses, sorry! This one over here,” she pointed a thumb at Alexia. “Accidentally elbowed them to the ground and now we only get plastic cups!”

You couldn’t help it and joined in on the laughter. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Alexia’s head snap towards you. You gulped the drink Patri gave you and continued on with your staring contest with the captain. You raised an eyebrow at her, she simply threw that signature smirk of hers your way.

Infuriating.

“Can they actually do that?” asked Jana.

“Apparently!” Patri answered back.

Mapi placed her arm around Alexia’s shoulder, “You have to excuse this one. She had some pre-drinks at her place so she’s already well on her way to being extra drunk.” After a moment, she added. “Although, she became extremely calm these past few minutes. Are you okay?” Mapi teased.

Alexia playfully shoved her away. “It’s not my fault they didn’t know the risks when they decided to open a club.”

You felt Kika bump her shoulder against yours. “I can see why you’re so hung up on her, to be honest.”

At that, you pulled back. You gave Kika a look that was a mixture of ‘what the hell are you talking about’ and ‘I think I’m not drunk enough for this conversation’.

Kika rolled her eyes and leaned closer, speaking directly in your ears. “She’s ridiculously attractive.”

You placed your hand on Kika’s face, shoving her away. You could feel Kika’s laughter against your palm and you pulled your hand back.

“Y/n—” Kika started, but you interrupted her.

“Nope,” you took another gulp of your drink. “Talk to me again about this topic when I’m drunk. Actually, no. Don’t talk to me about this topic at all because there is nothing to talk about in the first place!”

Kika shook her head fondly and wrapped her arm around your neck, bringing your head towards her so she could whisper in your ear. “I think you should drink faster then, because your girl looks like she’s going to kill me and we need to do something about it.”

You pinched her thigh. “She’s not my girl.”

“Ouch! That was the part you got? Not her wanting to kill me?”

“Stop being ridiculous then. Why would she want to kill you?”

Kika grinned. “Probably because to everyone else it looks like we’re about to kiss.”

Your eyes widened at your proximity and quickly shoved the brunette, causing her to lean backwards into Jana, who looked amused at the two of you.

“Sorry,” Kika whined. “Y/n’s fault!”

Just when you were about to say something back, you felt your phone vibrate in your pocket. A text message from an unknown number.

Hola

It’s Alexia.

You glanced up at her, giving her a confused look. Alexia just gave a slight nod of her head, flicking her eyes to your phone. You sighed. This was going to be fun.

you: how did you get my number?

unknown number: Perks of being the capitana.

you: why are you even texting me? you’re literally in front of me

unknown number: Oh am I? Thank you for pointing that out.

you: you’re as annoying as I remembered

you: so ? is there a reason why you’re texting me

annoying capi: Because you are too far away. It’s so loud here. I haven’t gotten the chance to talk to you.

annoying capi: I have captain duties

you: to talk to me?

annoying capi: Yes

You almost rolled your eyes at that. What kind of captain duties was this? Pere would likely introduce Alexia as your captain on your first day. There was nothing urgent that any captain-teammate talk had to be done now.

You just hoped that she wasn’t planning on kicking you out of the club, or any other evil things you couldn’t think of. You stared at her, somewhere between a glare and an interested look. Only one way to find out.

you: I’m about to grab a drink at the bar

annoying capi: Is this an invitation?

you: am I going by myself or are you coming with?

“Y/n and I are grabbing more drinks,” Alexia announced. “Does anyone want anything?”

Everyone shook their heads and with that Alexia slid out of the booth. She outstretched her hand towards you and you stared down at it. There was no way that Alexia was asking you to hold her hand, because that would be ridiculous, and frankly, you weren’t sure if you were ready to know what it feels like to hold Alexia’s hand—

“Dios mío,” Alexia reached out and grabbed your wrist. You didn’t have time to react and the next thing you knew, you were being pulled to the bar.

Alexia’s grasp on your wrist was tight, you felt all tingly as more seconds passed by and Alexia’s grip never faltered. 

You inwardly cringe at yourself for feeling like that towards a… a frenemy (you still didn’t know what you two were).

When you reached the bar, Alexia finally let go and you kind of missed the warm feeling Alexia’s hold gave you.

“What’s your drink?” Alexia asked.

“Uhm…”

The place was crowded, which was definitely good for the business, but you decided that it was very not good for you. Because with the way Alexia was leaning sideways against the counter, arms crossed, eyebrows raised at you—Alexia was so close that you couldn’t think of anything, except the way her eyes looked even more heavenly at night (not that you noticed. You were too busy marking her during games, you definitely had no time to admire the way the sunlight made her eyes shine even brighter).

“Do you do that a lot?” Alexia asked once she finished talking to the bartender.

When you still hadn’t answered, Alexia pursed her lips and blew on your face. “Boo.”

Your eyes widened. “W-what was that for?”

“You’re zoning out again,” Alexia rolled her eyes at you.

“No I wasn’t,” you tried your best to sound calm despite your racing heartbeat. 

Alexia smelled like alcohol and a perfume that you knew was from Chanel (you had the same one at home) and you knew you weren’t supposed to let your mind wander, but you couldn’t help but think about how it would feel like to have Alexia pressed up against you. Like, really pressed up against you. 

How her lips would feel on—

“You’re doing it again,” Alexia noted.

You blinked a few times. What the hell were you thinking? You couldn’t think of Alexia like that. The thought made you shiver. You two disliked each other. “I’m doing what?”

“Spacing out,” Alexia looked amused. “Something on your mind?”

“Just the usual,” you replied, looking anywhere but those eyes.

“And what is the usual to you?”

You let out a small laugh. “Are you always this nosy? I don’t see you texting Kika or Pajor and asking for a one-on-one.”

Alexia shrugged. “Maybe I’m just interested in you.”

At that, you looked at Alexia and raised an eyebrow. “Why?”

“I don’t know, I just am. I can’t pinpoint it.”

You narrowed your eyes. Was she flirting with you? “Is this you talking to me as my captain or is this something else?” Alexia was about to reply when you cut her off. “Is this where you say something nice about me but then talk shit a second later?” you paused. “Don’t you have a girlfriend?”

Maybe that was the wrong thing to say because the next thing you knew, Alexia was laughing. It was the first time you’ve heard her laugh. You didn’t want to think about the tug in your heart or the smile making its way to your lips. “What does that have to do with anything?” Alexia asked you.

You crossed your arms against your chest. “It sounded like you were flirting with me.”

“I could mean being interested in you in a non-romantic sense,” Alexia refuted. “I am going to be your capitana after all.”

“Mhmm, sure,” you looked around the bar. “I think you’re lying.”

Alexia looked amused. “Why do you think that?”

You shrugged. “I don’t know, I just do. I can’t pinpoint it.”

“Using my words against me, I see.” 

You cheekily smiled at her and she did the same. Alexia actually smiled at you. It was a miracle. First you made her laugh, then you made her smile. You were on a roll.

Not that it mattered. You couldn’t care less, really.

Suddenly remembering that you didn’t tell her what drink you wanted, you looked at the bartender then back at her, “Did you order for me? Hope it’s nothing poisonous. We’re about to play on the same team, you can stop trying to kill me on the field now.”

Alexia scoffed. “I never acted like I wanted to kill you.”

“I beg to differ but sure,” you couldn’t believe that you were enjoying a conversation with Alexia Putellas. “I never told you my drink order, so if you got me something I don’t like, you’re paying for it.”

Alexia scrunched her nose at you. “I thought I was paying for it. I am a gentlewoman after all.”

You hummed. “Does this work on all women?”

“It’s Sex on the Beach, by the way,” Alexia ignored your question. “What I ordered for you.”

You raised an eyebrow at that. Oh this can definitely be considered flirting. “Why Sex on the Beach?”

Alexia just shrugged in response.

“That’s my favourite,” you told her. “Just for your information.”

“Really?” Alexia grinned at you. (What a sight it was.) “I am so good at this.”

“Sure. You probably chose that drink so you could flirt with me.”

“Is that a problem?”

You looked at her questioningly. “That you got my favourite cocktail right on the first try?”

Alexia laughed again, but this time there wasn’t the usual teasing tone when she spoke. “You’re so dense sometimes.”

“Thanks,” you drew out. “I guess.”

“What I meant was… is that a problem if I was flirting with you?”

You weren't expecting that answer. This was definitely not the captain-teammate talk you were expecting, nor was this the type of conversation you were expecting from your frenemy. “Uh,” you stammered. “With the fact that you have a girlfriend, yeah kind of.”

Alexia stared at you for a second, before she looked away. When she turned to you again, a coy smile was present on her lips. “You’re right. That was terrible. Sorry, please don’t tell my non-existent girlfriend about this.”

Oh? You tried to hide the smile that was making its way to your face. “Don’t worry. I don’t know your non-existent girlfriend enough to snitch on you.”

The bartender interrupted you with your drinks and you gulped half of yours in one go. You needed to be more intoxicated with the way this conversation was going.

“I probably sound like a terrible girlfriend,” Alexia said, placing her card back in her wallet after paying for your drinks.

“Hm? How so?”

“I’m literally flirting with another woman here, even though my girlfriend, our three kids, and two dogs are waiting for me at our mansion,” Alexia rolled out dramatically, you laughed at how ridiculous she was.

“So you were flirting with me.”

Alexia rolled her eyes, looking down. She looked… shy? This was new. You were enjoying this very much. “I never said such a thing.”

“What?” You looked at her in disbelief. “Alexia, you just said ‘I’m literally flirting with another woman’.”

Alexia shrugged, taking a gulp of her drink. “Maybe I did, maybe I didn’t.”

You had to keep on reminding yourself that Alexia was your frenemy. You two disliked each other. Whatever this was… it was a momentary lapse in judgement. A drunk night out. You weren’t into Alexia like that and she was definitely, totally just playing with you. But looking at the blonde in front of you—how Alexia was doing something as simple as swirling her straw in her drink—you never wanted to do something stupid as much as right now.

“You know,” you started. “If you didn’t have a girlfriend, I would totally kiss you.”

You were only toying with her of course. You didn’t actually want to kiss her.

Alexia choked on her drink. “I’m sorry, what?” she looked at you wide-eyed.

You smirked, it was a nice turn of events, having Alexia be the one stuttering instead of you. “You heard me.”

“Well,” you saw Alexia gulp and place her drink on the bar. “I guess you’re in luck then.” Alexia averted her eyes down to your lips. “My non-existent girlfriend just broke up with me,” she pouted dramatically. Damn it. You were trying so hard not to look at her lips. “You, on the other hand, is a terrible date.”

You looked confused. “Me?”

Alexia nodded. “Flirting with me when your date is right there,” she tilted her head in the direction of where your friends were sitting. “Kika?”

You laughed at that. Was Alexia actually jealous? “Am I sensing some jealousy here, Putellas?”

“Why would I be?” Alexia scoffed, the faint blush on her cheeks visible despite the dark lighting of the club. Oh this was so much fun.

“Is that why you’re always so hostile towards me on the pitch, Capi? Do you actually have a crush on me? Asking me out would work just fine, you know.”

“I’m not…” Alexia crossed her arms. “I’m not jealous and I definitely do not have a crush on you. Ridícula.”

You could feel the effects of the alcohol, because you could never be this bold otherwise. You stepped forward, tracing a finger down Alexia’s forearm.

“Uh,” Alexia stammered.

“It’s so funny,” you whispered in her ear. “To have the mighty Alexia Putellas speechless for once.”

You tapped Alexia’s cheek and leaned back.

Alexia just kept on staring at you for a few seconds, her mouth stuttering to say something.

“I’m going to order another drink,” you said, gulping down the last of your cocktail. “Do you want something?”

Alexia finally regained her composure and straightened her back. “Yeah, yeah. Sure.”

You waved the bartender over and told him your order. You turned to Alexia with an expectant look. “Well? What do you want?”

“Ah. Are you on the menu?” Alexia answered, giving you her best innocent look.

It took a second for you to realise what Alexia said, and when you did, your mouth dropped open. 

Before you could reply, Alexia leaned in and whispered in your ear. “I always win these games, cariño,” the hot breath against your ear causing you to shiver. “See you back there.” Alexia winked and turned around, leaving you to stare at her retreating figure with your mouth still agape and your heart thumping wildly against your chest.

You hated her so much.

[queer-things-and-stuff]

you know, as a trans masc NB, it’s hard to acknowledge so many parts of my past self, solely because of the way people see me. i’m greatful to have developed the self respect to be able to say i miss being a little girl, cause that’s who i was back then, that’s what i was, and it was nice, it was wonderful really. it was simple and easy and i never realized how far away from me it would become. i never hated myself, i never wanted to be someone different, i just wanted to be me without the restrictions brought by the countless labels placed on me.

all of this is to say me too, OP. I miss laying on my belly and playing with barbie’s and listening to Pink, feeling like the og underdog. imagining a beautifully crafted future. one that was perfect for me, i’d have a nice big house, and a puppy, and i’d be a super famous singer, and i’d be happy.

i keep finding myself wondering where that person went, when my capacity for, and my belief in the happiness I had, and hoped for, got capped. when it all became too much to pretend I’d ever find myself awake in that little girls dream.

i know when i realized I’d never be a singer (i heard a recording of my own voice and it was enlightening to say the least), i have an idea of when i realized I’d never have a nice big house (around the 2rd or 3rd time being homeless, sleeping in hotels and shelters) i know when i realized I’d wouldn’t be getting a puppy (when i had no choice but to live with the deadbeat “father” who’d kept promising me one over phone calls and during visits, and he never brought it up once in the whole year i stayed with him)

i know when i realized i wasn’t happy just to be there anymore, to be alive. when i realized how sad I really was. like a switch had been flipped, the person i was before dissolved and the person i would become began to grow. the first time i felt depression, the first time i idealized suicide, the first time i realized i could feel so alone, even when surrounded by people who were supposed to love me.

i didn’t mean for this to get so long, i just… hope, and joy, and dreams, where have they gone? will i ever get them back? to finally stop questioning whether or not the person who previously heald that hope, and that joy, and those dreams, was me, means to wonder why they left me so desolate when i became the person i am today.

i miss being a little girl full of hope and joy that plays alone in her room dreaming about her future

[cressidagrey]

It's a Love Story - Chapter 6

Summary:

Azriel's shadows find their master a wife.

Azriel would just really like his heart not to get broken again.

And Sky...well, she's just really surprised that that far too handsome male is interested in her at all.

Warning:

DEFINETLY NSFW! Rhys Bashing (as usual), I classified this as Azriel x OC, even when it't technically Azriel x Sellyn Drake (but we kinda know nothing about Sellyn Drake other than that she writes books so Sky is kinda an OC), Cassian is kinda a good guy for once, Azriel has a horrible time, as usual... Stuttering, toxic families (For once I do not mean the IC), Self-Esteem Issues, Secret Identity, Body Image Issues, Fat Shaming, People being utterly horrible.

If any of this triggers you or makes you uncomfortable, please take care of your own mental health and don't read it.

For somebody that filled her romance novels with plenty of smut… Sky wasn’t exactly as experienced as one may expected. 

Actually…she was woefully inexperienced.

There had been Admon…and Admon it had been.

The rest of the stuff in her books…well, that was just her fantasy wildly spinning stories about how sex should feel. Informed by plenty of books she had read, other authors, and of course…there were the two people that got to read every book she wrote before it was published: Orla, her publisher, and her friend Ressina, who was nice enough to take the pen to every thing she wrote that was woefully inaccurate. 

Because nothing ever felt to her like she portrayed it in the books.

Maybe that was normal. Maybe it was because of course her books portrayed something…better than reality, an escape from it. But still…sometimes Sky had just wondered…

As Azriel carried her towards the bedroom, Sky couldn’t help but feel a flutter of nervousness in her stomach. It wasn’t that she didn’t want this, she did, more than anything. But the truth was, she was…nervous.

She had written about this moment countless times, had described it in vivid detail in her novels. But now that it was actually happening, she felt…insecure. What if it wasn’t as good in real life as she made it out to be on paper? What if she did disappoint him?

(Sky knew that she had disappointed Admon numerous times…that she seemingly had never been enough for him…had been so bad at it in fact that he had instead slept with her sister…which was a whole other kettle of fish that she really didn’t want ot think to close about right now.)

Sky tried to push those thoughts aside, to focus on the here and now. 

Azriel was here with her, he wanted her just as much as she wanted him. She could feel it in the way he held her, the way he looked at her. And yet, that nagging feeling of doubt still lingered.

And then there was the fact while he had admitted to sending his shadows to search for her… Sky was still keeping a rather big secret.

“Az…Azriel…” she said hesitantly.  “There…there is one thing you should know about me.”

Azriel paused, setting Sky down on the bed gently before turning to look at her. 

"Go on," he prompted her gently, taking her hand in his as he sat down next to her and giving it a reassuring squeeze. "You can tell me anything, Sky." She believed him. he wouldn’t judge her. She was sure of that as well. 

“You…You k…know how…how I…I write… ro…romance no..novels?” Sky asked him, biting her lip.

Azriel nodded, a small smile playing at the corners of his lips. "Yes, I do," he said, leaning in closer to her. "You told me.”

“I…I am Sellyn Drake,” she blurted out.

She had never outright admitted it to another person. 

Ressina had been the one who had send off her first manuscript to be published…and Orla had met with her…these were the two people in existence that knew that Skylar Alden was also Sellyn Drake. And Skylar had always been comfortable with keeping it that way. 

There was no need to tell anybody else. 

Which was why it worked so well, that Ressina was an artist and could paint the bookcovers for her. No need whatsoever to let anybody else see the hesitant first drafts until she was sure this was where she wanted to go. Just Ressina. Just one of her very few friends. If not her only. 

Azriel stared at her, his eyes widening in surprise. "What?" he asked, completely taken aback. "You're...Sellyn Drake?" There was no…outright disbelief in his voice, just shock. 

*We know! We made Master read your books!* the shadows cooed. *Lady Death, The Priestess and The Shopkeeper love them too!*

She had no idea who any of these people were but…

Azriel's eyes widened even further as the shadows spoke up. "You...you knew about this?" he asked them, turning towards the shadows in disbelief. "You knew. That’s why you gave me her books to read!”

This was just getting better and better.

Sky, who had been watching Azriel and the shadows’ exchange with a mixture of nervousness and embarrassment, couldn't help but laugh at the absurdity of the situation. 

“Do…Do they always…” she couldn’t even put it into words. 

Azriel sighed. “They like to meddle,” he said darkly. “And this time they were particularly persistent.” He shot a reproachful look at the shadows, who cowered a little under his gaze. "I won't lie, they did manipulate me into reading your books. And when my shadows do something they are rather...convincing."

She swallowed. 

“Did…did you…li…like them at…at least?” Sky asked hesitantly. 

Azriel hesitated for a moment before answering. 

"I...I did," he admitted earnestly. "Your writing...it's brilliant, Sky.” Her heart soared at his words. She treasured them, hoarding them away like a dragon. But he wasn’t done. “The characters, the emotions, the way you make the reader feel everything...it's incredible. I couldn't put them down."

Sky grinned at his words, feeling a swell of pride in her chest. "I…I'm glad you..you li…liked them," she said softly.

*Master especially liked the…*

“Shut. Up.” Azriel snapped, his ears reddening and Sky started laughing. She could just about imagine what the shadows wanted to tell her at that moment. 

Azriel groaned, burying his face in his hands. "I'm going to kill them," he muttered under his breath.

"They…they are ju…just try…trying to help you, aren't they?" she asked softly, squeezing his hand in hers. Only now she noticed the violent scars that marred them, the texture of raised and bumpy skin…but she didn’t care. Not one bit.  

*Of course, we are,* the shadows said, like any other idea was simply blasphemous. *We gave Master the best information we could. So that Master would know what you like.*

Sky probably shouldn't find it as adorable as she did. But the lengths they had gone to...the way they had made Azriel read her books so that he would know what she liked...nobody in her life had ever gone to these lengths just to find out what she liked.

"I swear I am not a total creep," Azriel told her with a grimace.

Sky laughed, shaking her head in disbelief. "No…no, no, you're not," she assured him, squeezing his, hands gently. "I…I ac…actually think it's… quite… sweet. In a weird, sli…slightly invasive kind of way. But sweet nonetheless."

"I think you are the only female that could possible think that," Azriel muttered, glaring at the shadows that didn't seem apologetic in the slightest.

Sky grinned, leaning in closer to him. "It’s… endearing,” she finally settled on. “Maybe even a lit…little bit charming," she promised him earnestly.

Azriel looked at her incredulously, his expression softening a little. "You're not just saying that to make me feel better, are you?" he asked her.

Sky shook her head. "No. No, I'm not," she said, her voice unwavering. "I…I mean it, Azriel. It iss actually really sweet that you would go to… such lengths just to try to un…understand me better. And you ad…admitted to it. And not just after the mating bond was accepted but within hours of meeting me." 

Azriel didn't keep it a secret, even when he could have, and she would have been none the wiser. 

"I don't know what I ever did to deserve you. But I'm not going to question it," he whispered. 

She swallowed. That's what she was thinking. The exact same words. 

Sky pulled him down, letting his forehead rest against hers.

"I know that...that I am supposed to cook you something...but how disappointed would you be if I gave you one of those caramel bonbons in my purse to accept the bond instead?" she asked him softly, meeting his gaze. 

His eyes widened and he stared at her in pure, undiluted wonder. 

"I could not possible be dissappointed by whatever you offered me," Azriel whispered. "But...are you...are you sure?"

"I am being utterly selfish," she whispered. "Yes. I want you." She didn't care that people would have thoughts about it...that she was rushing into this. 

They were probably right. 

But Sky really didn't care. Sky only wanted him. Sky was ready to throw caution overboard and rush into this headfirst without a thought about the consequences, if that meant that she would get her mate.

"Then let's be selfish together," Azriel whispered.

With shaky hands she reached into her purse, finding one of the caramel bonbon she kept in there...unwrapped it out of the paper and then...then she offered it to him, lifting it to his lips.

Azriel looked at the bonbon, then at her, and for a moment she thought he would say something. But then his mouth opened and he took it from her hand... He chewed it, swallowing carefully, his gaze never wavering from hers. For a moment, they stayed suspended in that moment of tension, the only sound their breathing. And then, he leaned in, closing the distance between them, and kissed her as if she was the most precious thing in his entire world.

A Mating Frenzy had always been protrayed as animalistic in every book she read. So of course, Sky had written the exact same thing.

But it wasn't...not really.

Not for them. 

And being with Azriel was also a far cry from being with Admon...mostly because then it had often been...embarrassing and painful. 

Admon had always found something to criticise on her body...foreplay had been nonexistent, even when she had tried...and while he had been more than willing to use her mouth to find his own pleasure he had never returned that favour.

With Azriel it was different. Every touch, every caress, every kiss made her feel things she had never felt before. It was like her body was coming alive for the first time.

All her senses were heightened, every nerve in her body singing with pleasure, and Sky couldn't get enough of him. She wanted more. No, she needed more. As Azriel trailed kisses down her throat, she arched her back, pressing herself against him, her hands roaming over his body, exploring every inch of him that she could reach.

"Can I...Can I touch your wings?" she asked breathlessly, not wanting to...cross some unsaid line.

"Please," Azriel breathed out. "Yes, Sky, please." He lifted his wings, extending them out behind him, giving her free rein to touch and explore to her heart's content. As Sky's fingers brushed against the contours of his wings, Azriel let out a low, guttural moan, his wings twitching and shuddering at the sensation. They were massive and pitch black.

"They are beautiful," she whispered, running her hands over the silky black skin, feeling the warmth radiating from them.

He shuddered at her touch, his wings arching and trembling beneath her gentle caress. he leaned his forehead against hers as he gently tipped her back against the bed and she went willingly, wrapping her hands over the gleaming talons at the tip of his wings as she kissed him.

Azriel growled softly in response, his hands sliding up beneath her dress, opening the lacing in one fluid motion. As the dress fell open, revealing her body beneath, Azriel pulled back for a moment, looking down at her with dark, hungry eyes. "You are so beautiful," he breathed, his gaze roaming over her body.

She didn't even have the time to feel self-conscious, not when she was drowning in the waves of desire that shot across their bond from him. Not when her whole body seemingly trembled against his and she kissed him again, opening her mouth to his tongue.

He slipped open the dress and she opened her mouth, halfway ready to tell him how he could get the corset she wore off, but he already opened the lacing. "Why?" he asked her softly, as he saw the red indents left on her body, and she grimaced.

"Claire," she whispered.

She wore corsets usually for support, because her breast could get heavy and painful without the proper support...but she never laced them as tightly as she did when she saw her family. Or her sister. Then she pulled them tight, trying to squash her body to be something…something her family could stomach, something they maybe wouldn't comment on...she always failed.

Azriel hissed softly, his fingers lightly tracing the red marks on her skin. She knew that they looked horrible, and yet he looked...angered? Almost furious. His expression softened as he looked back into her eyes, his fingers gently tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. "Why would you do something like that to yourself, Sky?" he murmured, his eyes searching hers. "You are beautiful. You don't need to change anything about your body." He leaned down, pressing a gentle kiss to a particularly hard imprint the corset had left.

Sky swallowed hard, feeling a lump form in her throat as emotion welled up in her chest. No one had ever said something like that to her, had ever made her feel like she was good enough just the way she was. She opened her mouth, trying to speak, but no words came out. Instead, she just nodded, feeling a single tear slip down her cheek. Azriel wiped it away with his thumb, his other hand coming up to cup her face tenderly.

"You are perfect," he whispered, pressing his lips to her forehead. "Just the way you are. Don't ever let anyone make you feel otherwise. Not even your family." Sky leaned into his touch, closing her eyes and just focusing on the closeness, the warmth, the feeling of being cherished and protected.

With every word he spoke, she felt a weight lifting off her shoulders, her fears and insecurities melting away. She realized that maybe, just maybe, she had found someone who truly saw her, the real her. Who accepted her exactly as she was, flaws and all.

It was so easy to sink into that. So easy to trust him. So easy to just kiss him, as she pushed the shirt he wore over his shoulders...to feel acres of gold skin, dotted with scars and dark markings...to bare him for her view and see how utterly gorgeous her mate was.

He growled softy as she ran her hand down his chest, tracing the scars that marked his skin. His body was a tapestry of pain and survival, yet she wasn't deterred. She only found him more beautiful for it.

"Mine," she whispered, pressing her lips to his chest, to one particularly nasty scar. "All mine." She could feel his heart pounding beneath her lips, the steady beat matching the rhythm of her own heartbeat. Her hands trailed down his chest, his stomach, until she reached the waistband of his trousers.

It was so easy.

So easy, to shed clothing until they were bare...so easy to press against him and feel warm, perfect skin...so easy to relax underneath him as he stretched over her...so easy to simply cup his face as she kissed him...as her legs wrapped around his hips and he groaned and she whimpered as she felt him...hot and hard and huge, pressing against her...She was dripping wet without him even laying as single finger on her beneath the waist.

Azriel didn't look unaffected, his breath coming in ragged pants, his eyes fixed on hers as they were blown wide and dark with want. He didn't move, didn't kiss her, didn't pull her closer. He only waited. Waited for her. 

"I need you," she whimpered. "Please. Please, Az." He let out a sound somewhere between a groan and a growl, his hips rocking gently against her, teasing them both with the heat and friction between them.

Nothing hurt. Nothing ever even threatened to hurt...Even as she could feel him notch against her there...even when she could feel herself lewdly stretched open on his cock...

It was so soft and gentle and sweet and…

It was everything Sky had ever wanted. 

Not the rough kind of fucking...not the animalistic coupling she wrote half the time...but she had wanted this. She had wanted sweetness and adoration and...love...and to be wrapped up in her mate's arms like she was a precious, precious thing. She had wanted whispered praised against her skin and to be touched like she mattered...

"Sky," he whispered, his hands running up her side, his touch was soft and soothing, worshipping her body. He kissed her, slowly, deeply, and there was something...almost overwhelming about it.

About the way he made her feel. The way he made her feel loved and adored. The way he made her feel cherished. Her hands wandered up to his back, tracing the muscles shifting beneath scarred, scarred skin.

She could feel him trembling, feel the tension in his body as he held himself back, but still, he moved in slow and gentle thrusts, taking his time. He worshipped her - every little gasp and moan, every curve of her body. He traced her shape with his fingertips and lips, exploring her as though he was trying to memorize every inch of her body.

She didn't know how long they stayed that way, their bodies as one, but Sky didn't care. She was surrounded by him - the heat of his skin, the sound of his breath, the way he whispered her name like a prayer. Sky could feel the love and devotion pouring through the bond, washing over her in waves, and she knew that this was exactly where she was meant to be. With him, in his arms, completely and utterly whole.

It nearly came as a shock as she came.

A breathless moan fell from her lips as her orgasm rushed over her, her body arching as she called out his name. He kissed her through it, murmuring praise against her lips as he held her close, his own release following soon after.

They stayed there for a moment, tangled together, both of them breathless and sated. Azriel's wings slowly wrapped around them, cocooning them in a warm, protective embrace that made Sky feel safe and cherished in a way she had never experienced before.

***

There was not one inch of his mate's body that wasn't utterly beautiful. From the tips of her arched ears, to her beautiful eyes...to the swell of her breasts and the dip of her waist and the soft flesh of her belly and the flare of her hips...she smelled so good too...especially now that their scents had started to mix, and he could breath in caramel and hazelnuts and cedars and the sweet, beautiful scent of happiness as she laid underneath him. His head was bedded on her stomach, as she drew short fingernails through his messy dark hair. He nearly wanted to start to purr as she scratched at his scalp.

Azriel felt...content.

More content than he ever remembered feeling. He was wrapped up in her, his mate, with her gentle hands in his hair, and he felt utterly and completely at peace. He didn't care if they never moved from that bed again. He didn't care if the world outside their little cocoon burned. So long as she was by his side, he was content. He had never felt like this before. He had never felt this...happy. This...whole.

"I need to go feed Hector," Sky told him softly, trailing her fingers through his hair.

"Can I just have the shadows kidnap him and bring him here?" he asked, not wanting to move.

"You can't go kidnapping my cat, Az," she chided him gently, but even as she said the words, she didn't stop drawing her fingers through his hair, and Azriel didn't move. He was far too comfortable.

"Why not?" he complained.

"You'll terrify him," she said with a laugh. "Besides, do you have cat food here?"

"I'll have the shadows find some Tuna," he mumbled.

"Do…Do they just ac…acquire whatever you tell them to?" she asked him with some amusement. 

And lots of things he didn't tell them to, as well. They thought he didn’t know. 

Azriel raised himself on his forearms, looking down at Sky with a glint in his eye. "You have no idea how many things I've acquired that way," he told her with a grin.

She lifted her hands, cupping his cheeks and pulling him down towards her, resting her forehead against his. "You're a menace," she murmured against his lips.

"Your menace," he replied, kissing her softly.

Sky smiled, a warm, slow curve of her lips that made his chest feel tight. "Mine," she agreed, her voice soft. "But no kidnap…kidnapping my cat. He's at home."

"We could make this our home," he protested softly. "Move in with me."

Azriel had no fucking clue what was even coming over him. They should have slowed down, stopped to think...but neither of them seemed to want to.

They just…they seemed utterly content to crash through what other people considered a normal timeline and just be together right now. 

He just wanted to be near her. He wanted to share a life with her, a home. He wanted to curl up with her in front of the fire on a cold winter's night, and spend lazy Sunday mornings in bed with her. He wanted to take her flying, and watch as she wrote and listened to her read the words she wrote. 

And he wanted - Gods, he wanted her to want that too. He held his breath as he waited for her response.

For a moment, she was silent, and Azriel wondered if he had stepped too far, asked too much too soon. 

But then, Sky smiled again, her eyes sparkling with emotions. 

"...Al…Alright," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. "I'll…I’ll move in with you." 

Azriel couldn't help but grin as he pressed his forehead to hers. "Really? You mean it?" he asked, still unable to believe his ears.

"Really," she echoed with a laugh, before her expression turned serious. "But I…I have one co…condition." 

Azriel raised an eyebrow, waiting for her to continue. "What is it?"

"If I move in with you..." she began, wrapping her arms around his neck. "All my books need to come to," she told him seriously.

Azriel laughed, leaning back in to kiss her softly. "All your books can come, if that's what you want," he said. "As long as you're here, I don't care what else you bring."

And then the shadows unceremoniously dumped a screeching demon on the bed with them.

Sky let out a surprised yelp as Hector landed next to them with a thud, quickly scrambling away from the cat - and from under Azriel's weight. Azriel, for his part, sprang up, his wings flaring out in alarm. For several long moments, the three of them just stared at each other. Hector, his mismatched eyes glowing, his fur puffed up to twice it’s normal size, and Sky, her expression a mixture of surprise and affection as she looked at her pet. Finally, she cleared her throat. "Well, that's one way to introduce the two of you. Az, meet Hector."

...Gods, the shadows had really not been lying when they said that the cat was the ugliest thing they had ever seen.

Azriel slowly lowered his wings, eyeing the creature that was half-cat and half-demon. "He...looks like he wants to kill me," he said slowly.

Sky laughed, reaching out to scratch Hector's head. "He's just grumpy because he got teleported here so suddenly," she told him. "And he's not used to strangers." Hector's fur slowly flattened, and he began to purr, rubbing his head against Sky's hand. "Besides, he'd never hurt anyone," she added, looking up at Azriel with a smile.

Somehow Azriel highly doubted that.

Sky picked Hector up, cradling the cat in her arms as his purring grew louder. "See? He's not so bad," she told Azriel, moving towards him, and Azriel had to resist the urge to back away. "Hold out your hand, let him sniff you. He just needs to get used to you."

Azriel hesitantly held out his hand, trying his best to ignore the way Hector's eyes seemed to glow with an eerie light. After a moment, Hector moved forward, sniffing at Azriel's hand. Azriel felt the soft brush of whiskers against the palm of his hand, and Hector nudged his head against him, purring louder.

"See, he loves you!" Sky said enthusiastically

Azriel let out a laugh, slowly scratching the top of Hector's head. "I think he's just trying to lull me into a false sense of security before he scratches my eyes out, you know."

She rolled her eyes, "You are the most handsome cat I know," she cooed at him. "And you won't ever scratch out Azriel's eyes. No, you won't.”

Azriel would not quite go as far as describe the cat as handsome...but then...his own scarred hands weren't particularly beautiful either.

So Hector and him had that in common.

And the fact that they both wanted to cuddle with Sky. Actually, he was pretty sure that the cat hated him just for taking away his monopoly on that.

But Azriel would have shared a house with the King of Hybern if that meant that he got to have Sky in his bed.

She smiled at him, her eyes warm and adoring. "I knew you two would hit it off," she said, holding Hector in the crook of her arm. The cat stared at Azriel for a moment, as if sizing him up, before leaping off Sky's lap and disappearing under the bed with a soft patter of paws. "He'll warm up to you eventually," Sky assured him, but Azriel wasn't so sure about that.

He pulled Sky in closer to him, slipping back underneath the sheets with her, kissing her forehead. "I'll win him over, eventually," he promised her. At least, he hoped he would - he didn't particularly enjoy the idea of having to wake up with his throat being sliced open by an angry cat.

He would buy that damn cat all the Tuna in the world if that made Sky happy.

[reasonreblogs]

Same for both. The thing with explaining the reasons with an apology for me is part of the “I recognize how this action was wrong and how I ended up doing this thing that hurt you. I will be making an effort to stop this behavior. I hope you feel okay calling me out on it going forward. I want to assure you that I am aware of what I did, why I did it, that I am going to be working on it, that this hurt you, and that I’m sorry I did this.”

To me the reasons and why it happened shows that they understand and how likely they are to keep doing the same things or if thy ran it, that kind of thing. I’ve had someone who was basically overdosing on Xanax day spent the most horrible shit to me, hitting every insecurity I had about our friendship and after the fact *not* apologize and just said something like “I didn’t reply mean it, I just said crazy shit because I was prescribed a higher dose of Xanax than a person should be.”

Like… okay, I get that… and… it would mean something if you said “I’m sorry, I know it hurt you and I said a lot of things I knew would hurt most. I didn’t know I was prescribed higher dose than I should’ve been until recently and it really fucked with my head in a way that I wasn’t myself.” Instead, I wasn’t sure if she actually meant what she said looking back or if she’d do it again only without her mind being fucked up.

She gave the reason without the apology which made it an excuse and a “so you can’t be upset with anything I said” when she could scroll back and see exactly the things she said to me even if she didn’t quite remember. However, with an apology, I would be able to believe she didn’t mean it and was in a state of mind where she was actively looking to be as hurtful as possible rather than actually believing hat she said. It’s kind of like how some people go turn out to be suicidal try to make everyone around them hate them before going through with it under the notion it’d “hurt less” when it happens. I think of one or two popular youtubers who did exactly that, posting outrageous bigoted shit before disappearing and after hearing they killed themselves, it clicked that’s what they were doing.

As for the telling a story for how thy relate (as I did above actually lol) it’s like… “listen here’s a thing I went through… to me it sounds like what you’re going through, so I hope what I did to get through it helps or if talking to someone who might understand better makes you feel okay talking about this.”

It’s like… it adds some weight or legitimacy to what the person you’re talking to is saying for me. I’d be more likely to take their advice or reflect on how I handle or perceive it vs how they might have. When someone isn’t grasping at all what you’re saying, it turns into defending why you’re feeling and going through rather than being able to just… talk about it.

Idk, been thinking on the nuance of this for a while. I like reasons, I like getting an idea on if this will happen again or not. There’s just a lot of “depends on the person/situation” tho.

[luvyeni]

⠀ ( drabble ) mines, all mines ̨ ! ୨୧ 一 黄仁俊 ՞

⸃ ⸰ ⌁ renjun is super affectionate with you , but he’s also jealous of haechan calling you pretty  ヾ

boyfriend!renjun・ reader ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ g ・ smut ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ cw ・ unprotected sex, jealous ‎ renjun, dirty talk wc ・ ‎0.5k ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎| ‎ ‎click to library

request. dream being confused when jealous!renjun is affectionate and teases him for touchin u up when he doesnt do it with them so he fucks u for letting his friends flirt with u and stuff 😩‼️

「 ୨୧ authors note 」 i hope you like it <3 !!!

“baby.” renjun pulled you into his lap for like the fifth time that day. “baby i miss you.” you chuckled, running your fingers through his hair. “jun i’ve been here with you all day.” you smiled kissing the top of your man’s head.

“ew oh my god.” haechan said, fake gagging on your couch. “get a room, no one wants to see you two be all lovey dovey.” you rolled your eyes, renjun mumbled a bunch of insults under his breath. “you’re in my girlfriends apartment, i will touch her as much as i want, you get out.” he snapped, wrapping his arms around your waist. “jun stop.” you calmed him down.

“you know yn you have to be one of the luckiest girls in the world.” jaemin said. “really? why is that?” you questioned. “because you’re the only person in this room who’s ever had the joy of renjun affection.” you chuckled, your boyfriend on the other hand wasn’t amused. “shut up jaemin.”

“hey all im saying is you’ve never held us like that.” the boy held his hands up in defense. “because you aren’t fucking him thats why.” jeno said. “a pretty girl like yn, yeah i’d make sure to give her all my attention.” now you knew haechan didn’t mean any harm, but this seemed to piss renjun off. “hyuck, shut the fuck up.” you rubbed his shoulders to calm him down. “be calm im just saying you’re lucky to have a pretty girlfriend.” renjun knew you would never give him the time a day — but the way you smiled at the comment just made him mad.

“alright it’s time to go guys.” you could tell they were riling the boy up. “what? it’s still 15 minutes of the game left.” mark said, they all whined, complaining. “yeah, but if you guys keep going none of us will make it to the end.” they all groaned, getting up. “i know, i know.” you said guiding them to the door. “next week bring duct tape for hyucks mouth.” chenle spoke up. “next time we won’t fucking bring him.” you laughed. “is it a crime to call a pretty girl pretty?” you shook your head. “when her boyfriend is sitting right there?” jisung said. “yes.”

you closed the door on them; ready to turn to clean up their mess — instead you were met with your boyfriend. “jun?” he was standing there, and you could tell he wasn’t happy. “don’t be upset.” you tried to reason with him, but you could tell in his eyes he was already there, which made your stomach bubble with excitement. “bedroom. now.” you already knew what that meant.

“you think it’s funny?” he had your cheek pressed against your pillow. “wh-what junie?” he slapped your ass making you yelp. “don’t play fucking stupid.” he snapped. “smiling at haechan basically flirting with you, smiling like you’re so desperate to be fucked by him or something.”

“n-not true.” you stuttered out. “is it? cause you’re soaked, thinking about him fucking you?” the feeling of your boyfriend's cock teasing your hole. “no!” you said. “jun please fuck me.” you desperately pleaded with him to fill you with his cock. “please.”

you gasped feeling him enter you— making you take him fully. “shit.” he hissed, gripping your hips. “yeah , fuck he can’t fuck you like this.” he groaned , his cock dragging along your walls , bullying your gspot. “he can’t fuck you like the whore you are.” you moaned. “o-only for you.”

“fuck. that’s right, this pussy is only mine to fuck.” he groaned. “no one will ever be able to fuck you like i can.” you moaned out, his hand coming up to your hair, yanking it back. “understand me?” he gritted in your ear. “fuck jun yes!” you squealed , clenching around him. “fuck im not gonna last.”

his balls slapped against your clit , his head thrown back as he fucked into you. “fuck im gonna cum.” he moaned. “cum with me.” he demanded. “cum.” your head fell against the bed, body convulsing as you came. “shit.” he slammed into you, a song of curse words flowing from his mouth, his stomach tightening as he came. “oooh shit.” he dragged out as he painted your insides white, his body slumped over yours as you both searched for air , coming down from your blissful highs, kissing your neck down to your shoulders. “mines, mines, mines.” he repeated into your ear softly.

“you’re all mines.”

©️LUVYENI

[dammarchy211]

The Think Tank Random Headcanon List

Two people asked for this so that means it happening 👍 your welcome, most if not all of these r prewar/brain tank

-this one’s pretty supported in canon but think Dala likes fashion and dressing up��. I love giving her a fun little outfit

Yay

-0 had back pains pre brain tank. Also a lot of fatigue. The certified professional sleeper. When he’s working on projects in his home he tends to do it lying on the floor.

-this one’s basically canon but 8 has arithmomania. I say basically canon bc things in his house in Higgs often come in sets of 8, as well as his house being the 8th house despite there not BEING 8 houses. I think this would also extend to counting to 8 on his fingers when he’s nervous and such.

-tied in I also believe 8 has ocd. Borous has bpd.

-Dala was pretty reserved growing up, as she grew up/especially in the looped personality she became for lack of better terms “bolder and more flirty” as compensation for having been so withdrawn previously.

-I am wishy washy with a lot of gender headcanons for characters, my brain kinda just goes well idk if they’re trans but they’re not Not trans. However I do feel quite definitively that Dala is nb transfem, and Mobius and 0 are trans men.

-I think all of their names have some tie to the names they had pre recursion loop. Canonically both Klein’s name and his prewar last name start with K. I think the other’s names have similar ties.

-on that note, I think Borous’s old name (/just his family in general) has Painfully Russian origins. It makes his McCarthyism thing so hilariously ironic

-I think 8 is Canadian, but he only lived there pre annexation of Canada, he was working at big MT and living at Higgs once it happened.

-0’s old last name used to be “O’something” and people still used to call him Dr. O then and he still hated it. Doomed fate

-re: Mobius being trans, i think his first name was Edward. He named himself after Dr. Morbius from the movie The Forbidden Planet

-Klein is a big wine guy, like obvious there’s wine bottles strewn about his house, but I mean like. He’s the kind of guy to just know things about every kind of wine.

-Klein is probably the best dressed after Dala, I think he just tries to be professional for the most part. 0 thinks he’s fashionable but he isn’t. Already mentioned but Mobius dresses like an old lighthouse keeper. Cableknit sweater and the works. I think he’d also like antique pipes

I’m probably gonna alter the Klein outfit but yeah you get the idea. Doodles

-I feel SO STRONGLY ABOUT THIS. But 0 and Borous went to high school together. 0’s one line mentioning Borous in high school was just way too telling.

-Klein and Mobius need reading glasses. Dala used to need glasses, didn’t wear them throughout her childhood until like college, and then switched to contacts after college

-The think tank are all very close and got along much better prewar than they do at the time of the game. They kinda Jean-Paul Sartre No Exit’d themselves and their personalities are stuck in an endless loop. To say the least they started getting on each other’s nerves after 200 years. But this is to say they didn’t still bicker or anything prewar

-8 never really liked talking much. Possibly having selective mutism. This was mostly fine for him because pre brain tank you have facial expressions and hands and hand gestures that kinda make up for not talking at times. After the brain tanks he was kind just. Forced to talk to relay information. His speech was extremely awkward and stilted, which combined with the above head canon is why Dala made that comment about how they light him better now that his voice modulator is broken.

-they all have autism of some flavor tbh. To me. In my autistic mind.

-dead animal ment.// but I feel like Borous was that kid who like poked at dead squirrels and shit as a kid. It frames the Gabe and cyberdog thing well lol

-I’m an 8/0 head so I think they worked together a lot. Even if it’s not on the same project they would just do thinks at the same time together.

-the mentats on Klein’s bedside table are Mobius’s

-0 used to be a super big fan of House and RobCo when he was in high school. Obviously that is no longer true

-0 excels at making robots that are smaller. He doesn’t want to acknowledge this though. Muggy and his walking eyes (w/ wild wasteland) are both pretty small but they work well. The larger scale securitrons he’s tried to make obviously. Do not.

-I think the lounge music theme for the radio was a collective choice, but I feel like Dala especially likes music like that.

-Klein and Mobius used to play games like chess or checkers or card games “outside” in Higgs old person style.

-post brain tank one (woah) Klein has fleeting feelings of missing someone or something he can’t recognize. Any memories tying it to an image of a person he doesn’t quite remember. His brain just doesn’t connect that it’s Mobius and he usually just pushes the feeling down whenever it happens lol

If I think of more I’ll add them.

[themultifanshipper]

🟢 for Jenson button x reader? during his brawn days

It was a well-known fact that Jenson Button was a whore.

Which is something that infuriated you to no end as his PR manager.

Warnings: smut, PinMultipleVs sex, oral (jenson knows how to use his mouth, it's canon trust me bro), forced voyeurism (hear me out), sex tape, Jenson has a thing for begging, a lot of dirty talk, it's kind of cringe maybe? Idk you be the judge

2.9k words, and about ⅓ of that is fuck/fucking lmao

Requested from my prompt list

You'd never caught him really doing anything, which was a blessing.

Usually you'd let yourself into his hotel room in the morning because he was late (you always had a spare key for this exact reason) and find him in bed with someone (the number and gender of the persons will remain redacted).

You'd have to politely wake them up and tell them to leave, then give Jenson an earful about how he couldn't afford a bad rep now that he was leading a championship.

It was a familiar routine, he’d run around his room trying to gather his stuff, sometimes having slipped some underwear on, sometimes not, and winking at you cheekily the whole time.

He was hot, there was no denying that. His body was lean but toned from the hours he would put in at the gym, and doing… other activities. And that fucking smile would have swept you off your feet had you not been his PR manager.

But you were his PR manager, so anything happening between you two was a big no no.

However that didn’t stop your mind wandering. Sometimes you wondered what it would be like to be with him.

You’d heard stories and rumours about how good he was. And you’d heard proof of it too, whenever you had a room next to his in the hotel, or when you’d stop outside his driver’s room door listening to the high pitched moans of whichever paddock pass-gifted model was there that week.

And they weren’t fake. You could tell the difference.

Which is why today, you’d strolled into his driver’s room without knocking, because you’d listened in and heard only silence.

You only realised your mistake once your eyes landed on him, on his single bed with a model on all fours, taking his hard thrusts with a makeshift gag that looked suspiciously like one of his shirts.

It was completely muffling the poor girl’s moans, tears running down her cheeks as Jenson pounded into her.

“Jenson!” you hissed, quickly shutting the door behind you. “Anyone could have walked in!”

He wasn’t deterred in the slightest and he just kept going while he replied.

“Well I’m glad it was you, then, because you can’t get me fired”

The fact that he was still balls deep in the woman, who’s arms had buckled and was now face down on the small bed, was rendering you almost speechless.

You’d never actually caught him in the act before, and it was quite a sight to behold. His muscles bulged with his rough movements and there was a deep blush on his neck and chest.

You refused to look at his dick, you feared that if you did, you might never look away.

“Jenson, stop this! I’m serious, we need to talk about that disaster of a practice session!”

He just chuckled and carried on.

“Jenson!”

“Okay fine! Just give me a minute to make her come, I never let a girl leave unsatisfied…”

Your jaw dropped at his audacity. What the fuck.

He leaned over her, mouthing at her neck while one of his hands went down to circle her clit roughly.

“You going to come for me sweetheart? Going to come so that this lovely woman can kick you out and yell at me for fucking you where anyone could see us?”

You saw red and the woman saw white, you clenching your fists as you held back from swinging at the man, her cunt clenching around Jenson as she wailed into the gag.

Needless to say the girl didn’t stay very long after that…

And Jenson had the decency to look slightly afraid as you screamed at him for the next half an hour.

He’d never seen you this angry, rage seeping through your every pore at the fact that he was careless and reckless, and quite frankly irredeemable in terms of PR. And you told him that you wished that you’d been hired by any other driver. Yes, even Sebastian fucking Vettel, because at least he hides the fact that he’s a complete whore!

You didn’t speak to him much over the next few days.

The truth is you were angry. So angry, at him for being a dickhead, but most importantly at your brain for replaying the whole thing over and over again.

The image of his strong body pounding into that woman… you shuddered. You didn’t even know her name, and you were fairly sure Jenson didn’t either, the sexy bastard.

You knew you had been a bit harsh with him, but part of you hoped he would take your words as a kick in the arse and change his ways.

Well… you were sadly mistaken.

A few days later he knocked on the door of your office with the kind of news that no PR manager ever wants to hear.

“You fucking what?!” you shouted angrily.

He flinched and ducked as you threw a book that was lying on your desk at him.

“A fucking sex tape?! You twat!” you paced around your office as he cowered on the couch.

“Could you be any more of a fucking idiot? What were you thinking?”

He picked at the skin of his nails. “I wasn’t thinking…”

You halted in front of him. “You can fucking say that again!”

You paced some more while he explained the whole situation.

A few months ago he’d filmed himself fucking his ex and now she was hungry for money and was blackmailing him. Unfortunately he had ignored all previous threats, and the video was now trending on Pornhub.

You sat at your desk with your head in your hands as you tried not to cry.

“Show me” you said dejectedly after a few minutes of silent thinking.

“What?”

You sighed. “Show me” you got up and motioned to your seat. “Find it and show me. I need to know what I’m dealing with here. Maybe there’s a way of pretending it isn’t you or something”

He looked almost sheepish as he shuffled over and hovered in front of the seat.

“Are you sure? I uhm….”

“Oh I’m sorry” you snarled sarcastically, “would you rather I didn’t see it? Are you shy now? You weren’t shy when you fucked that other woman in front of me, now sit the fuck down and find me the fucking tape, Jenson!”

He sat down and did as he was told, for once, and the thumbnail was enough to make you groan.

“Really Jenson? In your race suit? For fuck’s sake!”

You clicked on it angrily, barely registering the title “F1 driver makes me beg for his cock before bending me over his car”

The first part wasn’t too bad. And by not too bad, I mean his face wasn’t in it, but he was yapping non-stop dirty talk at the woman rubbing herself over his suit-clad thigh.

Voices can be manipulated, you thought. Voices can be imitated.

Voices can also be low and husky and make you want to drop to your knees when they say “Beg for it baby. Show me how bad you want it. You’re not getting my cock until you beg for it…”

Right. Whatever. There was still hope blooming in your chest (and other things blooming elsewhere).

The hopes were quashed however when he finally took the suit off.

His tattoos. His fucking tattoos. They were obvious to anyone who’ ever seen Jenson shirtless, which was anyone from fans, to every single f1 employee, to his mother, to his thousands of hookups. (You were barely exaggerating for effect, but the point still stood).

And then your eyes drifted down into dangerous territory.

Territory as yet undiscovered by your hungry gaze.

His cock. You’d seen it soft, sure, that was nothing to write home about. But for the first time you were seeing it hard and leaking onto his stomach.

Then the scene cut and another problem came up as it changed to something else.

He was now holding the camera, filming himself splitting open the woman’s cunt while she was indeed, bent over the hood of his car.

His very fucking recognisable car, a bright yellow fucking Ferrari.

Your brain only spent about a second on the car however because the angle of the camera quickly changed again.

He’d propped it up against the windshield and now his full fucking upper body was in in view, tattoos and all, and his full stupid fucking face.

His face that was a quite a sight at that moment. He was biting his lip, frowning in concentration as he pounded into the woman who was all but drooling onto the hood, trying and failing to find purchase on the smooth surface as she begged for release.

Fuck he looked good, letting out little whiny sounds every time he buried himself to the hilt.

It was enough to make a grown woman wet.

You realised a beat too late that you’d been staring at Jenson way too long when you felt the real Jenson turn towards you in your peripheral vision.

“Is this fucking turning you on?” he asked, half in awe, half mocking.

You scoffed and straightened up. “Of course not, don’t be ridiculous”

You turned away pretending to be busy with something on the desk.

“You were rubbing your thighs together and basically drooling over the video” he was so fucking  smug.

A smug, hot fucking prick of a man.

“No I wasn’t” you denied it but in your heart you knew it was probably true.

“Prove it, then” he stood up from the chair and stalked towards you, eyes full of challenge.

You crossed your arms in defiance, “and how on earth am I supposed to do that?”

You were backed up against your own desk, feeling caged in and small next to his impressive build.

His hand landed on your thigh as he smirked at you, only inches separating your bodies.

“Only one sure way to find out…” his hand trailed up the inside of your thigh, under your skirt and ghosted over your underwear.

“Jenson… we can’t be doing this” you looked up at him, eyes wide as his fingers dipped under your waistband.

“No one has to know… It’ll be our little secret” he whispered, body coming closer and forcing you to lean back and spread your legs to accommodate him.

Your body trembled as his fingers inched towards where you needed him most, briefly making contact with your clit before sliding through your folds.

“Just as I thought…” he growled in your ear. “Fucking soaked.”

His fingers retracted and he pulled them out of your underwear to tap them against your bottom lip.

“Open your mouth, taste how much you want me”

You did as you were told and the taste of yourself on his fingers was enough to fry your brain completely as you sucked them clean.

 “Good girl” he said, and sank down to his knees between your legs, looking up at you with that devilish smirk.

“Now let's try this again. Did it turn you on seeing me bend that woman over and stuff her full until she cried?”

You were too desperate to argue. You could have agreed to absolutely anything in that moment, with your bare drooling cunt inches away from Jenson's hungry gaze.

“Yes Jenson. It did turn me on”

He smiled, genuinely surprised that you were giving in so easily.

“And are you going to be a good girl and beg me to do the same to you?”

Your thighs tensed as butterflies erupted in your stomach at his words, his hands keeping you in place and spread open for him.

You let out a huffed whine.

“Yes, Jenson”

“Then I'd better get to work...”

And with that he slid your underwear to the side and dived into your wetness, tongue first.

It was so messy, but so good as he basically made out with your cunt, his tongue exploring every inch of your skin while he slurped up your juices noisily.

He sucked on your clit and you let out a shudder, hands coming to tangle in his hair as you guided him.

He slid a couple of fingers inside you and hummed against your clit, the vibration making you whine as you got closer to an orgasm.

“Jenson, I’m so close-“

“Beg for it” he mumbled into your skin. “Beg for it or I'll leave you here dripping all over your desk”

“Please Jenson, fuck- Please let me cum. I'll do anything please, please, please!”

The closer you got the higher pitched your pleas became, desperation too great to be embarrassed.

But just as you got to the brink of ecstasy, your release was snatched away as he retreated and stood up, cupping your jaw to tilt your head upwards.

“The only way you're coming is on my cock, darling” he patted your cheek sympathetically “And you’re going to have to do better than that if you want it”

He took a step back and looked at you, waiting to see what you would do.

You looked at his pants where an impressive bulge had formed, and your mind went back to the video.

You gulped, turned around slowly and bent over, elbows making contact with the surface and your fingers gripped the edge as your body shook with need.

“Please, please fuck me Jenson. I need your cock inside me. Fuck me until I can't remember my name, please.”

How could he refuse when you were asking so politely.

You felt the heat of his hands on your back before they slid lower to cup the flesh of your ass and squeeze.

“I'm gonna fuck you so good, baby” he pulled up your skirt and peeled off your now dripping underwear before removing his own layers to free his cock. “And you're going to come on my cock like a good girl aren't you?”

You nodded desperately as he rubbed himself through your folds to spread the wetness, head catching on your hole every now and then.

“Please, I need you” you spread your legs wider and he bit his lip at your submissiveness.

He pushed just an inch in to start, then slid in more on every shallow thrust until he was fully inside you and you both let out a breath.

“Fuck” “Fuck”

He was more affected than he thought he'd be and he had to hold your hips down to stop you squirming and potentially ending this far too early for his liking.

You were feeling fuller than you'd ever felt before, fluttering around his length as you walls got adjusted to his girth.

He took a breath and gave an experimental thrust, knocking into your cervix and rendering you utterly boneless under him.

He repeated the action and you whined pitifully, his cock was hitting every spot perfectly at this angle and you knew you weren't going to last long.

After only a minute you were already drooling onto the desk and begging for him to go faster.

“Jesus Christ” he groaned, his hips slapping against your ass, “You're so fucking perfect for me, my perfect little slut”

You were already so close you could taste it.

“M'gonna come Jenson. Please make me come, I'll be a good girl for you, anything, just- please, fuck!”

He didn't stop this time, instead driving into you harder to chase his own release as you rode the waves of your high, made more intense by his unrelenting pace.

He finally came inside you as you'd just started to feel the ache of overstimulation and you twitched around him, feeling his cum leak out of you when he turned soft and pulled out gently.

The clean up was quick and awkward.

He sat down on the couch and you sat at your desk.

No one said anything for several minutes, gazes wandering around the room but never crossing...

You decided to brake the silence, being the only real adult in the room.

“I'll see what I can do for the tape” you sighed.

“Thank you” he bit his lip shyly.

“However...” you said, pausing to make him look at you. “I can't be your PR manager anymore”

He honestly looked like he was about to cry.

“But-“

You cut him off. “I will find you a replacement don't worry. But I'm almost going grey with how much stress you put me under, not to mention what we just did is entirely unprofessional, so I need to stop.”

“But-”

“However!” you cut him off again. “For the sake of the next person who's going to have to deal with you, and for my own personal needs. I'd be willing to make your sex life less public, and less... chaotic by becoming your girlfriend”

His jaw dropped. He definitely wasn't expecting that.

A small smile crept onto his his face that slowly grew until he was full on grinning at you.

You couldn't help smiling back.

“Don't think I hadn't noticed that all the shit you pulled was just to get my attention, I'm not that blind.”

He laughed and looked at the floor in embarrassment.

“So if you'll have me...” you got up and walked over to him, hooking a finger under his chin, “I’d love for you to bend me over every piece of furniture in your house”

He gulped and licked his lips as his pupils grew a fraction.

“Yes please”

[seitmai]

“Just the night in general. I knew everyone would love you, but I really think Thor wants to be your big brother now,” Bucky replied. You wanted it so badly to be endearing, but Thor was dangerous. He mentioned a father-in-law. How exactly did he find his wife? And bringing up the flower donations to the hospital. Bucky seemed upset. Why? “Which he’ll have to fight Steve for.”

They are very eager, maybe a little too much to "get" a little sister 🫣

His laughter died off quickly when he reached out and gently took your hand again, prying your fingers away from your palm. You didn’t notice it stung from your nails until he brought your hand to his mouth and kissed it. “You think we’re bullies?” He asked against your skin. “Yes. Besides nearly beating that jerk to death, you do realize that you use force and threats to dominate and intimidate. That’s a form of bullying, Bucky,” you said. Was he deliberately being obtuse or was he lost in his delusion that this was all normal?

Someone had to tell them lol

“I wouldn’t say we’re bullies. I call it protecting and keeping what’s mine,” he said. There was no shame on his end. “Right. Because I’m a possession and not a person,” you said, your face scrunching up as you tried not to cry. You needed rest. If part of Bucky’s plan was to wear you down by overwhelming you, mission accomplished. “I’m so tired. I just want to go to bed.”

This is not going well🥴

You could scream until your lungs gave out that you didn’t belong with him and you knew in your heart he’d argue until his last breath that you did. He was steadfast in that belief that you were soulmates. That conviction was so strong that what you really feared was that he would somehow convince you that he was right: that you belonged together.

😬😬😬

He was a dog with a bone. He wouldn’t let that go. “Why don’t you just take a photo of me giving you the finger?” You suggested as he helped you out of the car. “Only if you do it with a smile. I’ll even set it as the background on my phone,” he winked. Your reluctance and defiance of him didn’t phase him in the slightest. “And if you give me the finger, I’ll take it as an invitation that you want to fuck me.”

Puhh he really just sees or hearswhat he wants to see or hear 🥴

“Your past boyfriends never did anything for you. Emotionally, physically,” he stated, sliding his hands under the nightgown to your hips. Grasping the hem of your pants, he pushed them down as far as he could. “I’ll bet they didn’t even buy you flowers and used the excuse that they didn’t because you’re a florist.” The words were tiny cuts on old wounds, but you wouldn't give him the satisfaction. “And you will?” “I will. I’ll give you the life and love you deserve, making you forget any other man out there existed before me.” His eyes raked over you as you stepped out of your pants, your panties still soaked. “But I’m not gonna fuck you.”

He knows exactly how to push her buttons

A couple of deep breaths and you made your way back to your bedroom. You paused when you saw Bucky holding a framed photo of you and your friends, longing in his eyes when he lifted his gaze. “You look so happy,” he murmured, carefully setting the frame down on the nightstand before he pulled the blankets back for you. “Can you do me one favor and I’ll go?” “I was happy. It was a fun day.” You slipped into bed when he gave you space to do so, but his body was still close to yours. Firm. Hard. He really could pin you down and do what he wanted if he wished. “What’s the favor?” He tucked the blanket around you, his hair falling into his face. You almost reached up to brush it back, but refrained. Who knew what your touch would do? “Look at me like you love me. Please.”

Geez, what a request to end the day 🫣

Hold You Tight: Part 9

Pairing: Club Owner!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Fic Summary: The owner of The 107th wants you to be his girl whether you like it or not.

Part 8 | Series Masterlist | Part 10

Chapter Summary: Bucky takes you home, but will he keep his hands to himself?

Chapter Word Count: Over 3.7k

Chapter Warnings: DARK AU, tension, dirty talk, unease, possessiveness, inner turmoil, slight feels, Bucky Barnes (he's a warning, okay?), more warnings to come.

A/N: More Hold You Tight and thank you for your patience! Hope you lovelies continue to enjoy. Bucky edit by the beautiful @nixakimbo . ❤️ Beta read by the lovely @whisperlullaby , but any and all mistakes are my own. Divider by the talented @firefly-graphics . Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

You thought you heard the men wish you well once more when Bucky led you out of the office. You weren’t completely sure since you tried to block everything out, but attempting to disassociate wouldn’t exactly do you any good. The night wasn’t over yet and you had to stay sharp. You didn’t know what Bucky had planned for when he got you home. Were you prepared at all?

Not in the least.

You half expected to walk back through the front of the club to leave, but Ray directed you to a door near the back once he gave Bucky a nod. The car was waiting in the alley and you took a moment to glance up at the sky. You could only make out one star and you wished in that moment you could grow wings and fly away. But when did wishing upon a star do you any good?

“Let’s get you back to your place,” Bucky said, helping you into the car.

You had to give him credit for trying to keep up his end of the bargain by getting you home on time. Your body refused to relax though once he sat beside you and took your hand. Was he trying to get you accustomed to his touch? Make you crave him? It bothered you that in spite of your determination he drew you in to a certain degree. But you wouldn’t let him take you to bed tonight. You weren’t ready to cross that inevitable line.

Maybe, just maybe, if your performance in bed disappointed him, he’d get bored and walk away. The thought almost made you laugh. That wasn’t happening. If anything, he’d probably love teaching you how to be his perfect lover.

“I think tonight went well,” Bucky smiled.

“Which part exactly?” You mumbled, pulling your hand away. The part where he forced you to go, how his men all but admitted they knew Bucky stalked you, or how they beat the hell out of a man?

“Just the night in general. I knew everyone would love you, but I really think Thor wants to be your big brother now,” Bucky replied. You wanted it so badly to be endearing, but Thor was dangerous. He mentioned a father-in-law. How exactly did he find his wife? And bringing up the flower donations to the hospital. Bucky seemed upset. Why? “Which he’ll have to fight Steve for.”

“Fighting. You guys seem to excel in that arena,” you said, remembering how they all took turns beating up John. “But I guess Steve does have a bit of that ‘big brother’ vibe, helping you take total control of my life and whatnot.”

“Not total control. I’m still letting you work, but maybe I can buy the shop.” He chuckled at your thunderous expression. The light threat had you seeing red. “I probably shouldn't joke about that, should I?”

“Letting me work? Like it’s your decision? And don’t you dare buy the shop.” You pushed at him to keep from slapping him when he chuckled again. Not with enough force to get him far away from you, but you needed some sort of space in the vehicle. He also needed a good hit over the head. “You’re a bully, do you know that? So are your friends.”

His laughter died off quickly when he reached out and gently took your hand again, prying your fingers away from your palm. You didn’t notice it stung from your nails until he brought your hand to his mouth and kissed it. “You think we’re bullies?” He asked against your skin.

“Yes. Besides nearly beating that jerk to death, you do realize that you use force and threats to dominate and intimidate. That’s a form of bullying, Bucky,” you said. Was he deliberately being obtuse or was he lost in his delusion that this was all normal?

“I wouldn’t say we’re bullies. I call it protecting and keeping what’s mine,” he said. There was no shame on his end.

“Right. Because I’m a possession and not a person,” you said, your face scrunching up as you tried not to cry. You needed rest. If part of Bucky’s plan was to wear you down by overwhelming you, mission accomplished. “I’m so tired. I just want to go to bed.”

“You’re a person, not a possession, Kotyonok. And not just a person, a good person who gives so much of herself to others. And probably one of the only people who rightfully calls me out on my shit.” His response drew you up short. “Outside of my friends, no one else does that.”

“Maybe because they’re afraid of you and what you can do,” you said after a moment. Fear could make anyone say what they thought people wanted to hear. “Either that or they want your approval,” you added, which you could also understand to a point. People wanted a sense of belonging, especially with those who had influence and power.

“Maybe they are afraid,” he agreed, brushing his lips against your palm again with a sigh. “What is it about me that scares you most?”

“I’m not really sure exactly,” you admitted. There was so much about the situation that terrified you. What he was capable of. How he inserted himself into various aspects of your life and so quickly. How far he was willing to go to keep you. “But I think it’s your conviction. That you’re so sure that I’m your other half and no one can convince you otherwise, not even me.”

You could scream until your lungs gave out that you didn’t belong with him and you knew in your heart he’d argue until his last breath that you did. He was steadfast in that belief that you were soulmates. That conviction was so strong that what you really feared was that he would somehow convince you that he was right: that you belonged together.

Those steel blue eyes of his met yours and mesmerized you for a heartbeat before you looked away. “Love is scary. It’s natural to be afraid of it.” His lips brushed your ear, making you shiver. “But giving someone the most fragile parts of yourself is one of the bravest things a person can do.”

There was truth in his words, but it felt like he moved another chess piece into place. He was trying to disarm you and you couldn’t let him. “Who painted that black dahlia in your office?” You asked suddenly, feeling him move back enough that you could turn your head toward him. “And why display that flower?” You didn’t believe for a second that he chose it for aesthetic purposes.

“Beautiful, isn't it? Steve painted it,” he replied with an odd mixture of affection and bitterness. “It’s for my parents.”

“Steve is a gifted artist.” You hoped your voice stayed even enough that Bucky wouldn’t get jealous of you complimenting another man’s talent. “I don't know if the symbolism of flowers mean anything to you, but the black dahlia-”

“Betrayal. Sadness. Darkness,” he ticked off, his voice cold enough that another shiver moved through your body. “It was the last flower my dad ever got my mom and it serves as a reminder.”

You swallowed as warning bells sounded in your mind to tread carefully. “And what's that?”

He moved close, your eyes shutting as his hand wrapped around the nape of your neck. “That I'll never do to you what he did to her.”

There was suppressed rage within him. Sorrow. It rolled off him in waves strong enough that they could drown you. He said earlier that his dad got what he deserved. What had he done to his mom?

“You’re in pain,” you whispered. He was hurting and you logically shouldn’t care. So why did you want to know the cause of that hurt? “You have to tell me why.”

It wasn’t for you to use to your advantage. You weren’t sure if you could manipulate someone else. If you knew what happened though, it would at least give you more answers to who Bucky was and why he was the way he was. It could help you gain some sort of understanding.

“I’m not in pain when I’m with you,” he whispered, bringing your hand on his chest. Was he relying on you to chase away whatever haunted him? “Later. I’ve overwhelmed you enough for one evening.”

You let out a breath. You swore he was doing this on purpose, giving you just enough information that you’d wait around until he gave you more. “I can’t argue with you there,” you said, his heart racing under your touch. “Just answer one thing for me, please.”

“What’s that?”

“Marc from the bookstore,” you began, the man’s kind face shimmering in your mind. “Did anything happen to him?”

“I’d question another man being on your mind, but I know you’re just concerned about his well-being.” An easy smile crossed Bucky’s face as you bit your tongue. You could think about anyone you wanted to. “I can’t speak for him right this second, but he was perfectly fine when you and I left. He was just having a chat with one of my associates.”

You exhaled, thankful Marc wasn't hurt. “What kind of chat?” You asked. He was a nice guy, though he did seem to know a bit about Bucky. What exactly was he involved in?

“He just got a warning to be careful about what he does or doesn’t say to his customers.” You tensed before he kissed your forehead. Did he know about the conversation you two had? “And I don’t think the two of you should be alone with each other in the bookstore going forward.”

Just when Bucky had you feeling some sort of sympathy for him moments ago he shocked you right out of it. “Another decision that isn’t yours to make,” you stated, the car coming to a stop. “And you really don’t have to walk me up. I think we’ve had enough of each other’s company tonight.”

“I said I’m tucking you into bed and that’s exactly what I’m going to do.” The smile he gave you was nothing short of cocky when he added, “And you owe me a photo. I’m going to get it.”

He was a dog with a bone. He wouldn’t let that go. “Why don’t you just take a photo of me giving you the finger?” You suggested as he helped you out of the car.

“Only if you do it with a smile. I’ll even set it as the background on my phone,” he winked. Your reluctance and defiance of him didn’t phase him in the slightest. “And if you give me the finger, I’ll take it as an invitation that you want to fuck me.”

“Let’s go, please.”

You said nothing else as you went into the building, your anxiety mounting by the second. The slow rise of the elevator didn’t help, Bucky’s hip pressed against yours like he couldn’t stand to have space between you. You figure he’d shove you against the wall and claim your mouth, but he didn’t make a move. It impressed you that he behaved until you got to your floor. It didn’t stop your hand from shaking when you got your keys out.

“Still don’t want to say good night now?”

“I don’t want to say good night at all,” he answered, following you into the apartment and turning on the light. The welcoming feeling you expected when you got home wasn't there. There was a chill in the usual warmth.

“Well, you’ll have to sooner or later,” you said, swallowing when you faced Bucky. He shut the door and watched intently as you set your keys and bag down. You were quiet as you stared back, tension thick as you tried to predict what he was going to do. Once again, he managed to hold all the power in your home.

“Have I told you how beautiful you are?” He asked, heat and hunger in his stare as he slowly advanced.

Your throat went dry as you stepped back. “You have.”

“So beautiful and so good.” You made another move to retreat when he stepped forward, his manner confident and compelling as he reached out and prevented you from moving back further. “It’s driving me crazy not having you yet.”

“Please, you don’t…” you trailed off when he sank to his knees, unexpected heat flowing from your core. He guided one of your hands to his shoulder to brace yourself, his eyes soft as he helped remove one of your shoes. You found it difficult to breathe as he removed the other, his hand brushing your ankle with infinite tenderness. Like it was an honor to touch and be on his knees for you.

“I know the first time I taste you I’ll never want to stop. I’ll have to wake up every day between your thighs. Fall asleep that way, too.” His hand slid up your calf and his eyes darkened when your other hand found its way to his thick locks. Wetness gathered between your legs when his touch moved to your thigh. “Your pussy is hungry for me, isn’t it? My fingers, my tongue, my cock. I’ll feed her well.”

His voice was like velvet. Seductive. Aching. “Bucky…” Your breath rushed out swiftly when he kissed your mound through your clothes, tormenting you with arousal you didn’t ask for. It frightened you.

“I can smell you,” he murmured, nosing along where his lips had been before he sat back. “Smell so fucking good.”

Moving your shoes out of the way, he rose to his full height again as you willed your legs not to shake. You weren’t used to anyone looking at you, let alone speak to you, the way he did. Stark desire. Possessiveness. His form of love. Your heart pounded and you refused to answer him or glance down. If you looked at the front of his pants…

He took your hand and pulled you in the direction of the bedroom. Your heart pounded with mounting speed, your heels digging into the floor. “You still haven't kissed me,” you blurted out, hoping it would prevent him from taking you to bed. Or would he take that as an invitation to kiss your lips?

“No, I haven't.” You tried to keep some distance between you as he went to your bed, his hand moving along the blanket. You couldn't breathe. “It scares you how much your body wants mine, doesn��t it?”

“Is that what you think?” You asked, forcing air back into your lungs. It did scare you. It also scared you that you didn’t push him away or scream when he dropped to his knees to remove your shoes. Where was your fighting instinct?

“It is what I think.” The ease in which he moved away from the bed to your dresser to find your pajamas frightened you, too. Like he belonged in your room. You thought back to the night he broke in and left your gift on your bed. How much time did he take to look around? “Like love, giving your body to someone can be scary. You have to trust that you won't get hurt when you’re physically vulnerable.”

“You swore you wouldn't hurt me,” you reminded him.

“And I won't. But you know what else I think?” His magnetic gaze stayed on you as he brought a nightgown over. “That no guy has ever really taken care of you and you’re apprehensive to let me try.”

If you were apprehensive, it was because he was a walking red flag. “What makes you…” Your words stopped when he grasped the bottom of your shirt and pulled it up. Your arms instinctively went up before you realized what you were doing. Removing your shirt, you didn’t get a chance to cover your breasts before he slipped the nightgown on you.

“Your past boyfriends never did anything for you. Emotionally, physically,” he stated, sliding his hands under the nightgown to your hips. Grasping the hem of your pants, he pushed them down as far as he could. “I’ll bet they didn’t even buy you flowers and used the excuse that they didn’t because you’re a florist.”

The words were tiny cuts on old wounds, but you wouldn't give him the satisfaction. “And you will?”

“I will. I’ll give you the life and love you deserve, making you forget any other man out there existed before me.” His eyes raked over you as you stepped out of your pants, your panties still soaked. “But I’m not gonna fuck you.”

Exhaling slowly, relief flooded you. Though you couldn’t help but wonder why he wasn’t trying to take what he wanted. “You won’t?”

“Not tonight.” He shook his head even as his fingers moved along your waist. “Like I said, I’ve overwhelmed you enough. Sleeping with you might really put you over the edge.”

“Thanks.” He desired you, but continued to hold it at bay for your sake. How long would that last? “I appreciate that.”

“And we both know the moment I take you to bed, you’ll be begging for more.” His voice dropped as he toyed with the soft fabric. “And as much as I want to stay in bed with you all night and morning and give us what we both crave, I still need to get things in place at the penthouse and you need rest. You understand.”

You tried not to smile and failed. He acted as if he was doing you a favor. Cocky bastard. “I guess we’ll just have to suffer until then.” Sarcasm continued to be a good way to deflect.

He exhaled at your light teasing, his body still a bit tense. Being close to you and not having you was probably driving him mad. “Maybe we'll have to have another private call and finish what we started. Give us both some relief.” He turned you toward the door and gave you a light swat on your ass. “Go wash your face and brush your teeth before I change my mind.”

You made it to the bathroom in record time, not having to be told twice. You didn’t want to risk staying there in case he lost his resolve. Looking in the mirror as you went through the rest of your nighttime routine, you expected to look more exhausted from the whirlwind of the day. You somehow looked wide awake. Was the experience giving you thicker skin? Or did his desire for you somehow give you a bit of a twisted spark? You’d still be billing him for your future therapy bills either way.

A couple of deep breaths and you made your way back to your bedroom. You paused when you saw Bucky holding a framed photo of you and your friends, longing in his eyes when he lifted his gaze. “You look so happy,” he murmured, carefully setting the frame down on the nightstand before he pulled the blankets back for you. “Can you do me one favor and I’ll go?”

“I was happy. It was a fun day.” You slipped into bed when he gave you space to do so, but his body was still close to yours. Firm. Hard. He really could pin you down and do what he wanted if he wished. “What’s the favor?”

He tucked the blanket around you, his hair falling into his face. You almost reached up to brush it back, but refrained. Who knew what your touch would do? “Look at me like you love me. Please.”

You stiffened as you stared up at his face, your heart simultaneously racing and breaking for him. Love was something that provided a sense of connection, fulfillment. It was a way to show you that you weren’t alone in the world. You wanted to believe you were worthy of love, that you could build a life with someone. Bucky believed he was that someone.

Why?

You weren’t sure if it was his yearning gaze or if you were ready for the night to end, but your expression softened as you imagined meeting him in another life. Going on fun dates, talking about books, making each other laugh as you cooked together, snuggling under a blanket as you talked about your future. You found yourself smiling at the images that went through your mind. What could’ve been. What could be if he lessened his hold a bit on you.

He audibly exhaled when he snapped a photo on his phone, making you blink. “Thank you. Now I can look at this whenever I’m not near you and need to feel your love.”

Words escaped you, the invisible collar around your throat getting tighter. You could only nod and wonder how you kept throwing fuel on the fire of his want for you. Which one of you would burn first?

“Get some sleep. Dream sweet dreams.” You felt featherlight kisses on each eyelid when you shut them. “You know, I’ll sleep a lot easier once you’re in my bed.”

“If you get me into your bed,” you mumbled, refusing to look at him.

“Stubborn kitten.” He chuckled and gave each eyelid one more kiss. Why were his lips so soft? “Maybe I’ll stop by the shop tomorrow so I can take you to lunch. You can tell Addison all about it.”

“Maybe.” You yawned and snuggled more into your pillows. “Good night, Bucky.”

A finger moved along your cheek before it stopped abruptly. “Good night, Kotyonok.”

Bucky still hadn't kissed your mouth.

You didn’t open your eyes as he left, but you didn’t fall asleep right away either. Your body was too wound up. Too many questions went through your mind. Like what happened with his parents and how exactly he’d move you out of your place.

The man was a step ahead in everything. You’d be in his penthouse before the month was over. He’d get his way, but maybe it didn't have to be his way completely. He could give you an area in the place for you and you alone. It wouldn’t hurt to ask. After all, he did say he’d make it up to you by dragging you out tonight.

And if he cared the way he said he did, he could give you that one small thing.

Is our poor Kotyonok starting to accept the inevitable? Will Bucky stop by the shop? And how much longer until he really takes you to bed?Love and thanks for reading! ❤️

Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

[writing-until-i-drop]

Wildflowers For A Hangman Ch. 20

Summary:

Daisy, a career novelist, moves in with her college best friend Phoenix who has been permanently assigned to Top Gun with Dagger Squad. She finds herself instantly connected with a cocky pilot who's soft only for her and Jake can't help but want to know everything about her. When the past comes knocking at both of their doors, will they stand together or fall apart?

Or: The Dagger Squad can't cook and Jake falls in love with a woman who makes a mean lasagna while they work their personal trauma.

Jake "Hangman" Seresin x writer!femOC | 18+ (eventually) minors dni. Fluff, smut (eventual), idiots in love, past trauma.

A/N: Jake comes clean and Daisy has to talk to Penny

AO3 Link

Previous Chapter

I managed to make it until we were back at my apartment before I broke. Tasha was spending the night at Javy’s place, which meant it was just the two of us and after a  few hours of thinking up the worst possible scenarios for what Jake had to tell me, I was ready to cry, scream, or throw up. Or do all three at once, it was a toss up really.

“I’m going to sit down on the couch and you’re going to tell me what’s going on,” I said, putting my hands on Jake’s shoulder to stop him from kissing me when we walked in the door. “Because I know there’s something you’re not telling me.” Jake sighed, running a hand over his face.

“We’re not breaking up, let’s start with that,” Jake’s voice was tired but serious, his words striking out one of my fears. I nodded, running my hands up and down my pajama pants, trying to ease my anxiety with the familiar feeling of the fuzzy fabric. “Rooster and I might be deployed soon.” The news hit me like a blow to the gut, deployed? What happened over Thanksgiving had been a mission, just a few days apart and that had been hell.

“How long?” I heard myself ask, knees folding into my chest. Jake sat beside me, wrapping me in his arms, chin resting on top of my head.

“I don’t know, Wildflower.” 

“Where?” 

“I don’t know and I couldn’t tell you if I did, it would be classified,” Jake kissed my hair. “I don’t have any details, I don’t even know if it’s happening. It’s all just whispers behind closed doors and rumors at this point, which is why I didn’t want to say anything.” 

“I love you,” It’s all I could think to say. Jake’s thumb brushed over my cheeks and that’s when I realized I was crying, “I love you so much.”

“I know, baby, I love you too,” Jake held me tight. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, I didn’t want to say anything until I knew for sure.”

“Tell me next time, okay?” 

“I promise, Wildflower. I’m sorry I worried you,” Jake kissed the top of my head, rubbing circles into my back. “I love you so much.” 

My first thought was to run, to get away but the second that crossed my mind, the idea of being without Jake hit me like a truck. I didn’t want to be without him, I couldn’t imagine not having Jake in my life. He had managed to intertwined every part of my life with his, from my writing to his family, we were bound together. Running away now would be running away forever. Right?

“Why don’t we call Penny in the morning?” Jake kissed my hair again, drawing me out of my thoughts. “Maybe we can call mama and pops too.”

“I’d like that,” I nuzzled into his neck, “How long are deployments usually?” Jake sighed, bringing me onto his lap.

“It depends, there’s short deployments of just a few months and then there’s deployments that can last over a year.” A year? My grip on Jake’s waist tightened, “It’s probably not going to be that long, baby but if it is, we’ll figure it out.” After a few minutes of silence that felt like hours, Jake whispered, “You’ll be waiting here when I get back?” 

“Always,” I answered without hesitation. I took Jake’s face in my hands, staring him down even though I still wanted to puke a little bit. Jake’s eyes were intense, his brow creased in worry. “I’m not going anywhere and no matter where you go, you’re coming back home to me. Deal?” 

“Deal.” Jake closed the distance between our lips, kissing me soft and sweet. There was no rushing, it was as if we had all the time in the world, and if we did have all that time, what was a few months apart? He pulled my legs fully around him and stood, never breaking the kiss as he carried me to the bedroom. 

When he laid me back on the bed and stripped me bare, Jake took his time. He covered my body in kisses, worshiping every inch like he was committing it to memory, and when we finished, he pulled me into his chest and held me tight all through the night. 

The next morning I called Penny, who evidently had been waiting to hear from me. I tried to ignore the fact that everyone around me probably already knew about the deployment, especially the fact that Tasha hadn’t said anything. Penny invited me over and Jake dropped me off,

“Call me when you’re ready,” He whispered, kissing my forehead. “I love you.” 

“I love you too, cowboy.” 

Penny greeted me with a hug and a mug of peppermint tea, she looked cozy in her navy pajama set and robe, pulling me into her living room.

“How are you holding up, kiddo?” Penny passed me a cream blanket that was soft.

“First thing I wanted to do was run,” Penny hummed, rubbing my knee. “Now I just feel a little numb.” 

“I thought having grown up with my father’s deployments would have made things easier the first time my ex-husband deployed but it didn’t.” She sipped her tea, staring ahead where a picture of her and Amelia hung on the wall. “I spent the first month crying in bed, almost got fired from my job. Then one of the other wives in his unit, an older woman named Vera, sat me down for a talk.” 

Penny looked the picture of calm as she spoke and I envied her for it. What I didn’t envy was how many years, deployments, and undoubted heartache that it took to cultivate that calm. 

“She first told me that I looked like crap,” I chuckled along with Penny. “Then she told me I was going to join her walking group. Most of the wives in the unit met up every morning and walked a mile around base. If we had news, we shared it, some women talked about how their kids were handling things, we organized what we were sending in care packages, and we traded recipes. Anything to keep ourselves sane.” 

“Are you asking me to join your walking group?” Penny pursed her lips at me, rolling her eyes. “What, you, me, and Ames could totally go for walks on the beach before school.” 

“Good luck dragging that girl out of bed early,” She pushed my knee, laughing. “But seriously, Daisy, one of the best things you can do while he’s gone is stay busy and stay connected with me and with him.”

“How am I supposed to talk to him if I don’t know where he is?” 

“You’ll most likely be able to call him but if you want to send him letters, you’ll give them to command and they’ll send the letters to him when they can.” When they can. That wasn’t very reassuring.

“What else do I need to know?” 

X

I spent the day getting my affairs in order, scheduling a stop on my mail, making sure all my bills were on auto pay, and updating my will and life insurance policies. By the time it was lunch, my head was pounding from all of the tedious details. 

When lunch time came and went without a word from Daisy or Penny, I stopped by the store and picked up a few things for Daisy’s apartment. Bath bombs, new pajamas, a few nice notebooks that she’d probably never write in for fear of “ruining” them. I chuckled to myself, I really did love her and all of her little quirks. If it wasn’t for Daisy’s one-year rule I’d pick her up from Penny’s and take her straight to the court house if she’d let me. 

Deployments had never bothered me before, in fact, I loved them. They meant that I could fly on missions, feeling the adrenaline pumping through my veins as I kept an eye out for enemy bogeys. Now the thought of being away from home for even a few days made my heart hurt. I wanted to go to work in the morning, fly formations with the team, and come home to Daisy at the end of the day. I wanted to fall into bed beside her and tease her when she spent twenty minutes rearranging the blankets so she wouldn’t be hot. 

The deployment hadn’t even started yet and I already wanted it to be over. I said a quick prayer, praying that this deployment would be a short one.

Taglist: @dizzybee03 @littlezee80 @nervousenemyduck @carolina-on-my-mind03 @mizzzpink @beltzboys2015-blog @writingrose @hookslove1592 @closetspngirl @samanddeaninatrenchcoat @closetspngirl @shanimallina87 @owenniasstars @cevansbaby-dove @caitsymichelle13 @bigstrongblackheart @mrsevans90

Next Chapter

[samandcolbyownme]

@bambisturnioloalt ‘s 𝐍𝐎 𝐍𝐔𝐓 𝐍𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐌𝐁𝐄𝐑 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓!

I have chosen to write a Matt Sturniolo angsty fic. I also want to give a shoutout to @cursedtriplets for helping me come up with the idea. Enjoy! 🖤

Summary: Things go downhill, and downhill fast when reader catches their crushes girlfriend cheating on him at a party.

Warnings: strong language, angsty, partying, drinking alcohol, blackmail, mentions of cheating, reader being sad, angry, all of the emotions, slight arguing, friends to lovers, happy ending

Word Count: 6.3k

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The news about Matt getting a girlfriend hit you hard, it felt like salt to a stab wound - the stab wound being you not saying anything sooner.

Her name was Scarlett, but everyone called her Letty, per her request.

The first time you met her, it was kind of awkward. She didn’t really say much of anything and you felt judgment radiating off of her, but you seemed to be the only one to pick up on that because no one said anything after she left.

Over the next few weeks of her meeting everyone, she really opened up. It was almost like she became a totally different person, a bitch if you will.

She would glare at you when you would say anything involving Matt, or even glance in his general direction.

For example, the one night you all ordered in and decided to just hang out at their house. Nick and Chris were going around telling stories about Matt, you know, trying to embarrass the new boyfriend, and she was laughing and going along with it for the most part.

But, as soon as you opened your mouth to tell the story about how they took you to top golf one time and Matt almost fell over the edge, she changed the subject, suddenly wanting to start the first movie of the night.

You brushed it off, along with the other hundreds of little things she’s done within the time she was there.

“Hey.” You whisper as you sit down next to Nick on the couch, “Are you busy?”

He shakes his head, glancing up at you from his phone, “Why are we whispering?”

“Because I don’t wa-“

You stop talking as Matt and Letty come out from his room, “Hey, I’m taking her home. I’ll be back in a little.”

“Nice seeing you Letty.” Nick smiles and she waves, giving him a big cheery smile back, “Bye Nick!” She glances over at you and pulls Matt with her down the steps.

You wait for the door to close and you head snaps towards Nick, “Did you see that?” He shrugs, shaking his head, “See what? How she didn’t say bye to you?”

“Yeah, and how she just looked at me.” You shake your head, “I don’t.. I don’t think she’s really good for Matt.”

“When I ask you this, I’m not trying to make you mad or anything, okay.” Nick looks at you and you nod, “I won’t get mad.”

He raises his brows and lets out a sigh, “Are you saying this because you’re jealous she’s dating Matt?”

“N-no. I’m not.. jealous.. why would you even ask that? I’m asking because she doesn’t seem to accept that I’m one of Matt’s best friends.”

“Why do you think that?” Nick tilts his head and you sigh, trying to regulate your anger from growing into something bigger, “Every time I’m around you guys she’s all over him, and when I try to tell a story about Matt, she cuts me off and practically begs to go home.”

You snap, “That time you and Chris were telling stories about Matt, she was all giggly and going along with it, but as soon as I spoke up to say about how he almost fell off the ledge at top golf, she magically wanted to start the movie night.”

Nick sits there in silence and you tilt your head, “I’m not jealous of Letty. Okay. I’m just.. looking out for Matt, he deserves someone who isn’t going to use him for.. looking better.”

“You think.. Letty.. is using Matt for clout?” Nick’s brows furrow and he shakes his head, “I think they really like each other. She’s a total sweetheart, y/n. I think you just-“

“If you say I have unresolved problems, I am going to smack you upside the head.” You glare at him and he tries not to laugh, “I’m just saying, that you need to look at the bigger picture. Matt seems to be happy, and he’s a big boy, he can handle himself.”

You chew on your cheek, not really wanting to argue, “Yeah. You’re right.” You stand up, walking over to the hook to grab your keys, “I’ll see you later.”

“Y/n.” Nick groans, “Wait, I didn’t mean- you said you wouldn’t get mad!”

You look over at him, “You didn’t do anything, Nick. It’s good, we’re good. Just please, don’t say anything to him.”

He nods and you give him a small smile, “Thank you.”

You walk down the steps and you glance up, seeing Nick staring down at you from over the ledge, “Do you like Matt?”

“Bye, Nick.” You laugh and walk out of the front door to your car. You stop when you see Matt pull in next to you, but you force yourself to just walk to your car.

“Hey. Leaving so soon?” He asks as he gets out, and you glance back at him, giving him a nod, “Yeah, I have to go shopping for an outfit for this party.”

That was a lie. You already had one.

“Oh, okay.” Matt nods, tapping the top of his car, “Well, have fun.” As you open your door to get in, Matt walks up to you, “Wait. Before you go..” he pauses and you look up at him, “What’s up?”

You can feel the anger building up inside of you, wanting to burst out from him not seeing just how bad his longest best friend is being treated by someone he just met.

“What do you think of Letty?”

The words made your skin scrawl, you wanted to just get in your car and drive away without having to answer that question, but you had more respect for Matt than that.

“I think.. she’s pretty.” You laugh slightly, which causes him to laugh, “Yeah. Yeah, she is.”

You swallow what you really want to say, tilting your head as you rest your arm on the top of your car, “I think she’s good for you, Matt.” You shrug, “I mean, we all just met her, not at that long ago, but I think it’s going good.”

He gives you a slightly weird look, but nods, “Yeah, I’m just glad that everyone gets along. It would be pretty weird if we didn’t, you know?”

You stifle back a laugh, “I think it’s all good. Going good. Um..” you point to your car, “I’m going to be late for picking up Gabs, so.. I better..”

“Yeah yeah, you’re good.” He smiles, tapping your car, “I’ll see you later.”

“Are you going to the party tomorrow?”

He turns around, shaking his head, “Not my scene, but you have fun though. Call if you need anything, alright?”

“Yeah.” You nod, “I will.” You get into your car, glancing up as Matt walks into his house and you let out a sigh, allowing the self ass kicking to begin.

I lied to Matt, I never lie to Matt. Wait, I’ve lied about having feelings for him. Pretending everything is super platonic between us- Why can’t I just be honest with him? Fucking Christ.

A part of you was terrified to even say anything about your feelings towards him in the first place. You were, still are, scared it would affect the perfect, well, almost perfect relationship you have now. You haven’t ever really lied to Matt, the only time you really did lie, was when you were planning a surprise party for him and his brothers.

Besides, Matt showed absolutely no interest in being with you in anyway more than a friend. All of his actions were consistent, nothing more nothing less.

Your mind stays busy and loud the whole way to your house, from Matt, to your conversation with Nick before you left, to every interaction you’ve had with Letty, and then the upcoming party.

You were really banking on getting so fucked up at this party that you just forget about everything for a while.

You needed a mental break.

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

Since you got home yesterday, Nick texted you a few times to make sure you weren’t actually mad at him, and you weren’t.

He clocked you on your shit, why would you be mad at him for being right about that?

You were jealous. You are jealous.

You’re jealous of a girl who has what you’ve wanted for so, so long, but at the end of the day, it comes down to being no one fault but your own.

For keeping your feelings in a block of cement in the back of your mind.

Your phone chimes, and you let out a sigh, half expecting it to be another just making sure we’re good text from Nick, but it wasn’t. It was Gabbie, You still going tonight? I’ll pick you up around eight.

You tap the screen, giving her a short and sweet answer, So ready to get wasted.

You toss your phone down and head to the bathroom for a shower. You took your time with it, then getting out and blow drying your hair before making your way to get dressed.

As you sat down at your vanity to do your makeup, your phone chimes and you glance back, shaking it off before turning back to continue your makeup. After a minute or so, the second notification goes off.

You groan, spinning around and leaning forward to grab it. To your surprise, it’s a text from Matt, Hey, Letty is going to this party tonight, do you think you can look out for her? She said she’d be fine, but she’s told me stories of her and alcohol not being friends and I just worry.

“Oh great, so now I’m a babysitter?” You scoff, rolling your eyes as you type back, Yeah, I’ll watch out for her.

He texts back a quick thanks, and you return to finish getting ready.

Finally, after finishing your makeup, you were ready and Gabbie was just pulling up. You walk out, getting into her car, “Guess what duty I have tonight.”

“Oh no. What?” Gabbie looks over at you as you buckle and you scoff, “Fucking babysitting duty.”

“For who!?”

“Matt, well. Letty.” You roll your eyes, “He texted me and asked me to watch out for her since he isn’t going to be there. I don’t know.” You look over at her, “Something doesn’t feel right about it.”

“Yeah, that’s a little sketchy.” She nods, “Why doesn’t Matt just go?”

“Says it’s not his scene, which, I get. He isn’t big into parties.. never has been, really.”

“How’s that situation going?” Gabbie asks, “The whole, you having feeling for M-“

“It’s not.” You cut her off, “So yesterday, before I left their house, I tried bringing it up to Nick but he just called me out on the truth and I didn’t want to accept the truth, so I just left. He keeps asking if we’re good, and I keep telling him yeah, which isn’t a lie, I’m just..” you stop, taking a breather, “I’m just pissed at myself for letting something I could have potentially gotten, go.”

Gabbie nods, “Tonight is your night to just let go. Do what you want. Drink what you want. I’ll keep a lookout for Letty, you just have fun and focus on you.”

“Thanks, but if something happens to her, godforbid it’ll fall back on me somehow.” You shake your head, “I can only hope that she just decides to stay home.”

But that wasn’t the case.

She was there, almost all of her was there.

She showed up in this super tight dress that barely covered anything. Two post its and a corn chip would suffice better than this dress, one wrong move and out comes a boob.

“I wonder if Matt knows she’s wearing that.” You swallow as you look at Gabbie, “I wouldn’t wear that even if he was with me, you know?”

“Just like you said a few days ago, y/n. You have more respect for him than she does.” She takes your hand into hers, “Come on. She’ll be fine.”

Over the next hour, the party grew larger and your urge to be there grew smaller.

You tried pushing through, but Matt was heavy on your mind. He was like welded into it, nothing could push past it.

She doesn’t deserve him.

He’s too good for her, hell he’s too good for me, even.

“Hey.” Gabbie snaps you from your thoughts, “Come with me to the bathroom?” You nod, taking her hand and following her up the steps.

You haven’t seen Letty in a little while, as soon as she showed up she blended into the crowd with the other petty snobs.

“Wait.” You whisper, pulling Gabbie to a halt, “Listen.”

“I thought you had a boyfriend, Scar.” A guy’s voice breathes out, “Fuck, you’re so pretty.” You furrow your brows and step closer to the door that’s cracked open.

“I do, but do you see him anywhere?” Letty giggles and your heart sinks into your ass. You look at Gabbie a she shakes her head as she mouths, “I’m gonna fucking kill her for you.”

You hold your hand up as Letty giggles, “I like Matt, don’t get me wrong, but there’s just something about him that I like more. Something that will.. help me in the long run.”

“Oh yeah?” The guy chuckles, “What’s that?”

“His fame. His followers. Once they upload the video of me in it, I’m bound to get some of his followers, right? And then you know what will happen after that.” She laughs and the sound of making out ensues, “More fame for me.”

A few people come up the steps and you panic, pushing Gabbie into the bathroom. You flip the lock on the knob and press your ear to the door.

“There the fuck you are!” The one guy slurs, “Come on, it’s pong time!”

“You guys go, I’ll be right down.” The same guy from the room answers, “I have to finish something first.” You hear Letty speak up, “No it’s okay. We can go down now. We can always finish this later.”

You rest your forehead against the door and close your eyes.

“Y/n?” Gabbie grabs your shoulder and you turn around to look at her, “What are you doing?”

“I have to tell Matt.”

She nods, “Yeah, I-“

There’s a knock on the door and you panic again, “U-uh, one second!” You press your finger to your lips and point to the shower.

Gabbie nods, immediately stepping into it as quietly as she can as you flush the toilet. You turn the water on, letting it run for a few seconds as you make sure the curtains on the shower is fully closed like it was before.

Another knock sounds and you sigh, turning off the water, “I said one se-“ you open the door and see Letty standing there, “Hi, you and I have to have a chat.”

“About what?” You tilt your head and she smirks, leaning in to look into the bathroom, “I know you like Matt.”

You shake your head, “What would make you think that I like Matt?”

“Stop being stupid, y/n. I see the way you look at him, talk about it. It’s pretty obvious, well..” she laughs slightly, “I guess, not to everyone because if Matt knew how you felt about him, you’d be with him.. or maybe.. you wouldn’t.”

“What are you talking about, Letty?”

“Don’t play dumb with me. I know how strong of a friendship you have with the triplets, and frankly, I don’t like it.”

“You don’t like that you’re not the only one they give their attention to.” You scoff, “Don’t play dumb with me.”

“Alright, fine. You want to cut to the chase, well cut to the chase. Matt will believe anything I say. You try and tell him what you heard and saw up here, I will make your life a living hell, got it?”

“And just how do you plan on doing that?” You shrug, “What, are you going to go to Matt first and tell him that I’m on my way to tell him that I caught you fucking cheating on him?” You shake your head, “He doesn’t deserve that. Any of it.”

“No, no. Because you aren’t going to breathe a word about tonight.”

“What makes you think that I won’t?”

She squints, a smirk spreading across her lips, “Because they’re all you have anymore. I mean, Jesus Christ, y/n. You’re always up their ass. At their house. In their car. If it wasn’t for them, you wouldn’t have anything but a low paying job in the worst part of town.”

“That’s not true.” You swallow your tears, fighting back the urge to lash out, hard, “I grew up with them. I’ve known them a hell of a lot longer than you have.”

She shrugs, “Maybe. But, all I know is that you aren’t going to say anything to anyone about this, or else I’ll tell Matt that you are so in love with him that you tried talking me out of being with him for your own personal gain. I mean, there’s a reason you haven’t told him, right?” She laughs, “Afraid of losing him and his brothers, because again, they’re all you have. Plus, it’ll be so weird being around you, to sit there and see you sulking all the time even though they’ll try to push past it because they’ll feel bad for you.”

A sad part of you felt like she was right, no matter how hard you tried to not believe it, you knew that there was a high chance that it would ruin everyone’s relationship with you and make it awkward as hell.

“What? Cat got your tongue?” She laughs and you look at her, “More like bitch, but whatever works for you.”

Her face falls and she puts her hand on the door while leaning in, “You have three options here, y/n. You can just act like nothing happened tonight. Come clean about your feelings for Matt to see who he chooses, or you call Matt, tell him what you saw, but without proof, who do you think he’ll believe?”

“You’re such a fucking bitch.”

“Yeah, I might be, but who’s fucking Matt almost every night, huh?” She smirks and steps back, “Well, it was fun. But I have to leave soon, I told Matt that I’d come over after this party. You think he’ll like my dress?”

She waits for you to answer and you snicker, “Doubt it.”

“But there’s so little to take off. I’m sure he’ll like the easy access, yeah?” She tilts her head while pouring, “Oh right, you don’t know that side of him. What a shame.”

You roll your eyes, “So what. I don’t tell Matt about what I saw and you won’t tell him what you think you know? I can just deny it, did you ever think about that?”

“Hmm. I guess you have a point. But, you’re good at acting, so either way, I’m sure you’ll make it out unscathed.” She smirks, lifting her hand, “See you tomorrow for game night.”

Fuck. Game night.

You watch her walk away and you slam the door, taking a step back to assess what just happened.

Gabbie whips the curtain back and stands there staring at you, “are.. you okay?” You shrug, shaking your head, “If I could just magically push away this anxiety about my feelings for Matt and tell him, I would but I just.. god I fucking hate that bitch.”

You move to sit on the edge of the tub, “What the fuck do I do? I can’t just lie to Matt about something like this.. if he finds out I knew about this.. the only thing I’ll be kissing is my friendship with him goodbye, and everything Letty said will be true.”

“It won’t. Okay.” Gabbie sits next to you, “You want to know why?”

You look at her, giving her a nod.

She pulls her phone up, “I recorded most of that.”

You snatch the phone from her hand, “You did not!” A hand raises to cover your mouth as you listen to the recording.

“I’ll send it to you, so when you’re ready, you can use that as your proof. Fuck that bitch.” Gabbie shakes her head, “She must have got her audacity on sale because that was not it.”

You nod, “I agree.” You look over at her, “Want to go get something to eat? I need to leave this party.”

She nods, “Let’s go.”

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

You tossed and turned all night. You couldn’t stop thinking about the encounter you had at last nights party. The more you thought about it, the more it made you feel sick. Your anxiety just kept getting worse and worse.

What if Matt doesn’t believe me, even with proof, you can’t see anything so what if he thinks it’s fake?

What if Letty does tell Matt and he just blocks me?

What if-

“Y/n?” Gabbie taps your hand, “What’s going on, you’ve barely touched your breakfast.”

“I’m just.. thinking..” you bring your cup up to your lips, taking a sip before setting it back down, “What if Letty has him so wrapped around his finger that he’s just so blinded by her to not even-“

“You’re getting a head of yourself.” Gabbie sighs, “You need to think about what you want to do about your feelings for Matt, first. Okay?”

You nod, covering your face with your hands, “I’m so in love with him, but the fear of being rejected by him is just so.. loud, higher? Whatever the term.. is, I don’t fucking know.”

“I think Matt will be more understanding than you think.”

You look at Gabbie through your fingers, “You’re just saying that.” She shakes her head, “I don’t think you’re giving yourself enough credit. You’ve been around them for so long, this is what.. Matt’s first girlfriend in how long?”

“What are you trying to say?” You tilt your head, resting your hands in your lap, and she sighs, shifting towards you, “What I’m trying to say is.. what if Matt was waiting for you, but you didn’t say anything, so he tried to move on?”

“Do you think that’s a possibility?”

She shrugs, “I definitely wouldn’t write it off just yet. I mean, you haven’t dated either, you’ve talked to guys, but why do they never work out?”

“Because they aren’t.. Matt..” you look at her and she nods, “Exactly. I don’t think this thing with Letty will last long anyway. You just need to get your shit together before storming in there and spewing out shit that doesn’t even make sense, you know?”

You nod, tilting your head to look out of the window, “Yeah, I know. I want to tell him. I just get so nervous around him, he makes me feel, I don’t know, like that happy giddy feeling? I just don’t want that to go away, I don’t want it ruined.”

You take a deep breath, “I don’t know, there’s just so many what ifs I just-“ you look down at your phone, “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“What?” Gabbie leans over, “Is that Letty?”

You roll your eyes, reading over the text, Hey bestie, just reminding you of our little deal that we have. Last night got a little crazy, not sure how much you drank to try and forget about it.

You tap the screen fast, I’m not gonna lie you have a lot of red flags.

She instantly answers and you laugh as you read it, like what?

“This bitch, I swear to god.” You mumble showing Gabbie your phone, “She’s literally fucking insane.” You nod, “That’s what I’m telling her.”

You type back, well firstly, you’re actually insane.. and two, you just can’t blackmail someone to get your way. It’s not going to end well for you.

You see the chat bubbles popping up and down and you shake your head, “I swear to god.” Your eyes move across her text, think of it as you scratch my back, I scratch yours. You don’t tell Matt, and you get to keep the only good thing you have in your life.

“I’m telling Matt.”

The words tastes sour on your tongue, but you knew it was the right thing to do, “Fuck, I could puke.” You run your sweaty palms down your thighs, “Oh fuck, Gabbie. How do I- what do I-“

You look at the new text, Just play it safe tonight, don’t talk to him, dont talk about him, don’t even look at him, why can’t you like Chris or something, god. It would make everyone’s lives so much easier.

“Just play it safe tonight.” You mock her, “Go fuck yourself.”

“Maybe you should wait another day. You don’t seem.. I don’t know how to put-“

“Stable enough?”

“Yeah.” She laughs slightly, “Stable enough to do this yet.”

You shake your head, “I feel like puking being in the same room as her knowing she can flip my world upside down at any second. But then, if I don’t tell Matt, that just makes it seem like I was condoning her actions, and I just-“

“Look at me. Look at me and listen.” Gabbie lays her hand on your shoulder as you turn your head, “We have proof. I think you keep forgetting about that, y/n, and these texts. She basically admitted to blackmail.”

You nod, looking down at another texts that comes through, but this time it’s from Nick, How was the party last night? Did you make it home safe?

You instantly type back, I went home before I even got buzzed. My night was kind of ruined but I’ll explain it another time.

“Y/n.” Gabbie sighs, “Now they’re going to know something is up.” You shrug, “I don’t want to lie to any of them anymore, gabs. I can’t just-“ you stop, texting Nick again, Is Matt or Letty there?

“If they aren’t, I’m going to tell Nick everything.”

Your heart was racing as you awaited his answer, sweat building up on your palms more and more as each second passed, “I feel like I’m going to throw up.”

“Did he answer?” She leans over, “Oh, he just did.” She looks up at you as you look down to read the text, No, him and Chris are out getting stuff for game night tonight.

“Go.” You look over at her and nod, “Go to their house.”

“Are you s-“

“Go! Before I change my mind.”

She nods and starts the car, immediately putting it into reverse, “I’ll come in with you.” You nod, tilting your head back as you talk yourself out of puking, “Fuuuuck.” You groan, “All of this could have just been av-“ you gasp, squeezing your eyes shut, “I hate myself.”

“I think you’ll feel better once you get everything off of your chest.” She nods, “If not, you have me.”

“Now isn’t the time for jokes, Gab.” You look over at her and she raises her fingers off the wheel, “Sorry, sorry. I’m nervous for you.”

The drive to their house felt like hours.

“Fuck.” You sigh, “Just do it. Just tell Nick everything.” You try to hype yourself up, “Fuck. Fuck.” You reach for the door handle, your hand shaking like a leaf in the winds of a storm, “Fuck. Okay.”

You open the door and get out. Your legs felt like jello the whole way up to the door. Nick calling out your name made your heart stop, “Y-yeah.. it’s me.. and Gabbie..”

“Gabbie!? I haven’t seen that bitch in ag-“ Nick stops at the top of the steps, “Do we need to hide a body?”

You raise your brows, “Yeah, we just might.” You walk up the steps and glance back at Gabbie, who stops at the stop and leans on the ledge, “Go on.”

“Go.. on.. with what?” Nick looks between the two of you confused and you take a deep breath, “Last night at the party..” you look down, gathering yourself before you look up, and in that moment, you were struck with word vomit.

“Letty cheated on Matt last night at the party, I heard her in a room with another guy kissing and saying that she was only using Matt to gain more fame from your guy’s following and then she cornered me in the fucking bathroom basically blackmailing me into not telling Matt anything and Gabbie has it all on recording she hid in the tub but that’s not the point okay the point is is that she tried to blackmail me by saying she would tell Matt that I liked him and that I tried to talk her out of her being with him by saying awful stuff about if I did try and ruin her getting what she wants, and, Nick, you know I would never do that. I love Matt. To the fullest fucking extent, I love him with my full entire being, I want him to be happy and her fucking cheating on him made me want to rip her fucking head off right then and there and the last thing I want is for my relationship with any of you to be ruined because the only thing she was right about is me only having you guys and Gabbie. I never said anything before because I was so scared of the rejecting being soo bad that I could never be able to show my face around here again I just, I fucking hate myself for not being truthful but I fucking told you, I fucking told you she had it out for me and she was only using Matt I just- she’s an awful fucking person Nick and I just wish there was a way for me to tell Matt everything.”

“Y/n.” Gabbie says and you turn, freezing when you see Matt and Chris standing on the steps staring at you.

“They came in when you were saying your thing.” Gabbie clears her throat, “Um.. okay, why don’t.. we give these two some space, yes? Yes. Come on you two, with me.”

Gabbie pulls Chris with her and grabs Nick on the way by.

You stand there, absolutely shaking in your boots as Matt continues to stare at you, a shocked look on his face. You wanted the silence to end, it only made things worse.

Finally, Matt breaks it, “You.. you love me?”

“I-I..” you voice cracks as you nod, speaking in a whisper, “so.. much, Matt I-“

Your words were cut short by him walking over to you, his hands grabbing and pulling your face towards him to close the gap, “I love you.. so much, too.”

Your hands move to his sides, immediately kissing him back. He pulls his head away, his hands still on your face, “I’m sorry she did that to you.”

“I’m sorry she did that to you, too.” You sniffle, “I should have told you last night. I’m sorry I didn’t call or text or-“

“Hey, hey.” Matt’s thumbs gently brush up and down your cheeks, “You were scared, but you made up for it right here, right now.”

“Do you want to see the proof?” You sniffle, reaching back to bring your phone out from your pocket. He nods, “I believe you even if I don’t see it.” He gives you a gentle smile, “I’m just, sorry I didn’t see how she was treating you sooner. I’m so sorry.”

You shake your head, “She didn’t scare me. The only thing that scared me was the thought of you never speaking to me again.”

He shakes his head, “I could never do that.” He kisses your head and motions to the couch, “Let’s listen to this shall we?”

You laugh slightly and nod, walking over to the couch with him. You sit next to him, wiping away your tears as his arm goes around your waist, his other hand resting on your thigh.

You being the video up and turn the volume up. All you see on the video is the shower curtain and your shadow on the other side.

“Alright, fine. You want to cut to the chase, well cut to the chase. Matt will believe anything I say. You try and tell him what you heard and saw up here, I will make your life a living hell, got it?”

Matt furrows his brows, shaking his head as he lets out a sigh, “She won’t do shit.” You smile slightly, tilting your head as the video continues to play, “…or else I’ll tell Matt that you are so in love with him that you tried talking me out of being with him for your own personal gain. I mean, there’s a reason you haven’t told him, right?”

He shakes his head, “Yeah, there’s..” he sits up, pushing the phone away, “I’ve heard enough.”

You put your phone down, “Sorry.”

“No, y/n. You don’t have anything to be sorry for, alright? You did the right thing, Letty on the other hand, she can..” he groans lowly, “I’m done.”

He pulls out his phone and you hear the line ringing. Your heart races as you await the pick up of his soon to be ex girlfriend.

“Hi Matty!”

“Is there anything you want to tell me about last night?” Matt tilts his head as he stands up and instantly, Letty puts on a facade, “Whatever you were told is a total lie! I swear. People just don’t want to see us be happy, Matt, please you have to believe me!”

“It’s hard to believe you when I have a video recording of you fucking threatening one of the closest people to me right here in front of me, Letty. Don’t even try to play the fucking victim card, what the fuck were you trying to do? Blackmail? Seriously?” Matt scoffs, “I should have seen how you were from the start. You put on a pretty good act.”

“What do you mean there’s a recording? What are you talking about? I didn’t blackmail anyone, I was with Serina and Layla the whole night, Matt, please! You can even ask them.”

Matt reaches over, taking your phone to hold up to his as he presses play, “What? Cat got your tongue?” Letty’s laugh rings from the video, “More like bitch, but whatever works for you.”

Matt smirks, glancing over at you and you smirk, giving him a shrug.

“No i-“ Letty groans, the video still playing, “You have three options here, y/n. You can just act like nothing happened tonight. Come clean about your feelings for Matt to see who he chooses, or you call Matt, tell him what you saw, but without proof, who do you think he’ll believe?”

“Yeah I think this pretty much covers as proof, Letty. Sounds like blackmail to me, does it not?” Matt clenches his jaw, waiting for Letty to speak, but she just huffs, “You can’t even prove that that’s me, though, Matt. Please.”

“You’re such a fucking bitch.”

Matt can’t stifle back his laughter with your words on the phone and you look down with a smirk on your lips, you were very proud of how you handled her, and Matt was, too.

“Yeah, I might be, but who’s fucking Matt almost every night, huh?”

“Well, it was fun. But I have to leave soon, I told Matt that I’d come over after this party. You think he’ll like my dress?”

“You didn’t come over last night, you never actually planned on it, did you?” Matt continues speaking, “And it’s actually really fucking hilarious you say that because we haven’t even had sex one time. You’re such a liar and my life will be great if I don’t ever see you again. I don’t care what you say about me, but keep y/n’s name out of your mouth.”

Matt hangs up and you look up at him, “You really never had sex with her?”

“I couldn’t.” He swallows, walking back over to sit next to you, “It just felt wrong because it wasn’t.. you.. I couldn’t even kiss her without trying to picture your face.”

You nod, “I kept looking for you in every guy that tried to keep my attention, but it never worked out because they weren’t you either.”

You reach up and cup his cheek, “I’m sorry I didn’t-“

Matt cuts you off with a kiss, “You don’t ever have to be sorry when it comes to me.” He kisses your lips a few times, “I love you, and I’m sorry I didn’t say anything sooner.“

You shake your head, “It’s alright, now that there isn’t anyone keeping us apart.” You smile and bring it in for one more kiss.

You hear the quiet and slow footsteps of the others and you pull away, looking behind Matt, “It’s safe to come in now.”

All three of them come in and sit on the couch next to you and Matt, “Is it safe to say that I never really liked Letty?” Chris raises his hand and looks around and you reach over to high-five him, “You and me both.”

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

Thank you @bambisturnioloalt for giving me the opportunity to join this event, and thank you to everyone who reads my work. I love you all so much and I will catch you in the next one! 🖤

Likes and reblogs are majorly appreciated!

[cassielovesdeadwizards]

starchaser 💫

I have no idea what this is. I just started writing and this happened. Enjoy I guess lmao

James’ heart stopped. 

The air around him became stagnant, as if the whole world took a breath it didn’t want to release. 

As he watched the boy on the stage- 

Man. 

He was a man now. Not a boy. 

His heart grew heavy, as if breaking all over again. The freshly healed scar over the crack of his heart splitting open with a sickening snap, that he swore the whole theatre could hear. 

But they didn’t. They were none the wiser to his distress while sitting in the back, his eyes glued to the performer on the stage, watching as his hands moved as he talked. Even while performing he was animated. It was like he was incapable of keeping his hands still. James used to love that about him. 

No. He did love that about him. 

He thought he'd gotten over this. The way he could hear his heartbeat in his ears when he saw him, or the way the skin on his arms would itch with anxiety and his hands would find comfort in running through his hair like he was a teenager again. How his stomach would flip and his eyes would draw to him no matter what he did.

He thought he was over him.

But as Regulus Black took the stage, performing a sonnet of Shakespear that James didn't currently have the brainpower to remember, his beautiful face, and voice, and body, all bouncing off the walls and projecting straight into James' veins...he realised that he never really stopped loving him.

As corny as it sounds to admit to himself, James felt as if he was home. Not the physical type of home, not the type of homeliness that his parents manor in the country gave him, or his old dorm room at university, or his new apartment...the kind of home you feel with a person. the type of home he felt when Regulus would practice his performances for him on rainy autumn nights in his dorm, in just a pair of James' boxers and a t-shirt, the type of home he always felt holding his body against his, feeling how small he felt in his arms.

It's funny how wounds that take months to heal can open back up with a single glance.

He could feel when Regulus became aware of his presence. He felt the atmosphere change...the weight of the smaller man's words became heavier, as if they were getting harder and harder to say with each moment that passed.

When Regulus finished the sonnet, and the audience applauded, James only sat and stared. He stared until his eyes started to water and he realised that he needed to blink. And when the curtain fell, he stayed seated, watching the spot in the curtain where Regulus had stood, as if manifesting him back on stage. He stayed there until the whole theatre had emptied out.

"Sirius would kill you for being here."

The voice rang in his ears, and he didn't reply straight away, as if speaking would break some sort of spell, and this would all fade away into the back of his mind.

When he finally registered Regulus sitting about five seats up, he spoke.

"I know." He said, his voice sounding strained. Not in frustration, or anger, or even discomfort. James doesn't think he could ever feel discomfort in Regulus' company. The strain was more from the longing that plagued his every muscle, his every nerve.

"Then why are you here?" Regulus asks. It was true, that Regulus Black could be perceived as cold and ruthless, a sharp edge to his voice that could have only been created in the cold confines of the Black Family house. But James knew Regulus like he knew his own language, like he knew how to breathe. His coldness was a shield he used to protect his innocence, his naivety.

James could hear the hopefulness that laced his words, each syllable lined in a tiny bit of gold.

"If it's any consolation...I didn't know you were performing. A friend of mind recommended the show." He says, because if there was one thing you should know about James Fleamont Potter is that no matter how many lies he's told in his life, not a single one of them was to Regulus Arcturus Black. "But I'm glad you were."

The words left his mouth out of an old die-hard habit to always tell him the truth.

Regulus said nothing. Not for a while anyway. He just sat in his chair, looking out towards the stage he'd just owned. James didn't look at the stage. He was looking at the side of Regulus' face, at the empty spaces of skin where his love used to be, in marks of red and purple. He looked at the his nose, which he used to kiss and Regulus never used to admit to liking.

Regulus opened his mouth, as if to say something, and then closed it again. James wanted him to say whatever it was he was going to say. He wanted to hear and feel his words, he didn't car if they broke him in two or stitched him right back up, as long as they were directed at him.

"I was scared."

Whatever James had expected him to say, it certainly wasn't that.

"Of what?"

"Of being broken first."

James knew that that was supposed to make him angry. That Regulus had broken his heart in an attempt to beat him to the finish line, as if their relationship was doomed to fail.

But it didn't.

Instead he moved closer, to the seat right beside his estranged lover. He didn't touch him. Partly because he knew that if he did he'd never want to stop...but also because he didn't want to scare him off.

"I forgive you."

It was like all the tension in the room dropped, crashing to the floor and breaking the silence that had grown too uncomfortable to sit in any longer.

"What?"

"I said I forgive you."

"Yeah, I heard you. That's stupid, you didn't deserve-"

"Stop." James said, in an uncharacteristicly stern tone of voice, that even surprised him. So much so he waited a few seconds before speaking.

"You don't get to tell me what I do and don't deserve. What I did and didn't deserve. Do you really think that my love for you was that feeble that it would break and dissolve just because you left me? Just because you shattered me and left me completely inconsolable? Do you really think that your impression on me was that vague, as if I don't love you as easily as I breathe? Regulus, you could have quite literally stabbed me in the back, and I would've returned the knife to you with a smile on my face because I love you so irrevocably that not a single part of me hates you for what you did."

The words hang in the air, the weight of them laying heavy on Regulus' head as he processes them, letting them sink into every bone of his body.

See, what Regulus really wanted was for James to tell him exactly what to do. To look him in the eyes and say 'I want you back' and take him home and never let him leave. Regulus knows that he's damaged. That his nothing-to-be-desired childhood had left him with scars that even now refuse to heal. But if there's one thing he's certain of, it's that the day he broke up with James was the day he realised his self-destructive ways would never let him be happy.

James could sense his internal war, the battle field in his mind, he could see it playing behind his eyes.

James wasn't a stranger to taking a chance.

"Get your coat on. We're going home."

He says, standing up and pulling his own coat over his shoulders, buttoning it up.

Regulus sat and stared, as if his entire body was still computing the words that had come out of his mouth. So James sighed and gently took his forearms, pulling him out of his seat and zipping his coat up. He took him ice cold hand in his own warm one, interlacing their fingers together like a puzzle piece, and he walked him out of the theatre.

James took him home.

James. Took. Regulus. Home.

[lucygraysboy]

“looked like seven when you woke up, too,” he agrees with a chuckle but then begins to pout, clutching his side and rubbing the very spot she just poked. he would be lying if he said that he didn’t like it, though, engaging in this familiar, playful banter with his childhood sweetheart. it’s like coming home after a long day. she’s his safe haven, his favorite person. “no proof ‘cause you disposed of all evidence. smart,” he laughs, but deep down wonders if she’d had more before the show, if it’s a habit now — they play and then she gets drunk and goes home with strangers. he’s not one to judge, but he’s concerned about her safety. “you look so beautiful, that’s why they’re lookin’ at you. they’re tryin’ to figure out what this disney princess is doin’ in nashville,” he whispers, leaning closer to her ear with a smile. their fingers remain laced as he refuses to let go. “alright, i’ll only ride it occasionally.” seeing how worried she is about him, he feels all warm and fluttery inside because it must mean that she still cares very deeply for him. he doesn’t know how easy changing his lifestyle will be, but he’ll do his best to choose other forms of transportation, especially once she’s living with him. “horses are beautiful, but they can be dangerous, too. then again, i could be walkin’ down the street, slip on a puddle and break my neck. accidents happen.” traffic in new york city is so bad that having a motorcycle can be life-saving. “i know, lucy gray. you’re the sweetest person in the world.” she’s proven time and time again that money doesn’t matter. he could own nothing but the shirt on his back, heat up a TV dinner and she’d still be grateful. she deserves a lot more, though. and now that he finally can, he wants to give her the world. “ladies first,” he muses sweetly, letting lucy gray step off the elevator first, his finger still clinging onto hers for dear life. maybe it’s childish, but he likes the little reminder that it’s all happening for real, that there’s still room for reconciliation. 

“whoa, it really is.” his eyes flickering to the floor-to-ceiling windows, mesmerized by the world outside. still, his gaze quickly falls back to lucy gray, more interested in taking in her reaction than anything else. she’s way more beautiful than any city, and her childlike wonderment is so infectious, so heart-melting. “we have to stay for dessert ‘cause imagine how breathtakingly beautiful all the city lights must look from up here.” the size of the restaurant is impressive, the air filled with mouthwatering scents that make billy’s stomach growl in anticipation. “good evening, we have a reservation. william h. bonney. a table for two.” the host smiles politely at them, notes something down and leads them to their table, wishing them a lovely time. billy catches a glimpse of the high ceiling, lined with gold and ornately painted. there’s a large, modern bar off the side. they get seated near one of the windows facing the west side, which gives them the perfect view of the leisurely setting sun. billy thanks the host and pulls out a chair for lucy gray to sit on. “secret hang outs are our kind of thing, right?”

“my bad, it felt like seven when i first woke up.” grumpily retorting, deciding to jab him in his side with her pointer finger as they mosey on through the lobby, “no proof anyway.” on how many she downed. catching a few of the heavy stares weighing down on them, the songstress stares back and gives strangers a big friendly smile. something they probably didn’t expect. but like her mama always said, don’t meet people with weird stares back— surprise ‘em and you might just make their day smiling back. something most people in this world have forgotten to do. “that’s interestin’. my mama’s a chatterbox too, so maybe they’ll become friends from that.” a soft laugh sounds from her, pinky still clinging to his. “alright, i’ll show you some more pictures later.” when they wrap up their dinner… that’s currently making her empty belly growl even hungrier now that her mind thinks about all the food she’s getting ready to be able to choose from. “well, you can’t always be in control of that no matter how good you are at it, billy. it’s just— those things are more dangerous than bein’ on a horse, in a car, in a plane. maybe don’t ride it very often.” she still worries, hating the idea of it— feeling scared something bad could happen to him when she’s seen too many motorcycle fatalities. “alrighty, then. i don’t mind waffle house or even a gas station— but i’m excited to try out a fancy meal with you. thanks for comin’ up with this idea and invitin’ me to it.” a happy grin has her face coming alive like a ball of sun, feeling grateful she is getting to be cordial with him again. thinking of how the scenario could be different, he could still be that person who doesn’t talk to her. it just annoys herself because she begins to wonder if there’s ulterior motives — like him just being lonely because him and his girlfriend isn’t working out. before she can sour her own mood with her worries, she counts down the floor numbers instead of dwelling. eyes occasionally flickering up on his rosy cheeks, then back on the numbers, stifling a laugh at why in the world he’s shying up. finally a ding! the doors open up and she steps out first… eager to see this place from way up high like he said. the windows are everywhere so immediately she sees parts of the city before they’ve even reached the host and guest check in. “wow, look at all that… that’s an amazin’ sight to see,” doe eyes lighting up, in awe and completely wowed, “and it’s all like a hidden gem. a secret hang out.”

[bengiyo]

Love in the Big City Eps 5 & 6: That Apartment Was Too Small

I’m late this week to write this post. Despite everything going on in the world and in my life, I have struggled with how similar episodes 5 and 6 played like Part 3 of the book. When I read over my reaction post for Part 3, I felt like I could post it with a few edits as a reaction to these two episodes. I’ve also read so many great posts about this section, so I’ll throw some quick thoughts down on some of the things that stood out in this section.

The T-aras Continue to Be a Great Change

Presenting the drama in a more linear format required baton passes between the sections that the book didn’t require, and I really loved having the T-aras as pallbearers who also took care of Yeong when he wanted to go out the night of his mom’s funeral. I love how they also feel like they’ve matured as they’ve gotten older.

Making us love the T-aras so much makes their flippancy about being around someone they know, or suspect, is positive hit like a ton of bricks in the flashback. What’s so sad about this is it puts this wall up inside of Yeong that keeps him from ever telling them about his situation with Kylie. We know the T-aras love him dearly, and I think they would have adapted quickly to take care of their friend. I couldn’t help but think about the hospital scene from Part 2 and wonder how uncertainties Yeong felt about them complicated that moment for him.

I also love that they’re the ones who got to meet and approve of Gyu-ho, and that they suggested Yeong take him on a trip to help rekindle the romance. Yeong not being completely alone has been one of my favorite changes, because few of us are ever as alone as we think we are.

Gyu-ho Feels so Alive

We see so much of Gyu-ho from Young’s perspective in the book, and I loved seeing him come alive and share space with Yeong in the drama. I loved seeing the mundanity of their relationship. I loved seeing Yeong consolidate and clean up the room to make it livable for Gyu-ho just as much as I loved seeing them struggle with their living habits. I loved seeing them fight over little things, and then seeing Gyu-ho adapt to that and cover annoyances (especially with the water bottles).

Unfortunately, Kylie ruins so much of Yeong’s ability to commit to this relationship, and I think it’s why staying in Mi Ae’s apartment might be one of my favorite choices of the drama. When we read Part 3, I kept thinking about how small Young’s apartment was, and how it didn’t seem right for the two of them to stay there. Here in the drama, we see that Yeong’s mom made sure to take care of her affairs, and I wondered at how much Yeong had stashed away from that, but also figured he wouldn’t want to stay in the home his mom had.

I think, for Yeong, Gyu-ho is just so radiant and beautiful a person that Yeong is worried he’ll infect with HIV and make “dirty.” He brings that word up a lot, and it made me so, so sad. Kylie is everywhere in their relationship. It’s in Yeong’s need to fake a blood test to get a decent job he hates. It’s in his inability to pursue work opportunities in other countries. It’s in their inability to have unprotected sex without worries. All of this culminates to make Yeong feel like he’s ruined Gyu-ho’s future for just being with him.

Conversely, it’s so frustrating to watch Gyu-ho from this perspective doing everything he can to make Yeong feel loved and valued. I felt so much for Gyu-ho when he got a solid job as a nurse and wanted them to get a bigger place together. I also felt for Gyu-ho searching for potential new partners on the apps. It sucked in the book and it sucks here when Yeong tries to shove Gyu-ho to go have sex with someone else when that’s not what Gyu-ho wants at all; he’s a romantic.

As such, they could not make this relationship work. Gyu-ho is probably the one person in the series we’ve seen Yeong trust to the most. The T-aras prickled his shame. Mi Ae outed him. Yeong Su turned out to be gross. Nam Gyu died.  I believe Yeong when he said he was writing as hard as he could to build a future where he was independently wealthy enough to take care of himself and Gyu-ho, and it was so sad to see him completely lose the love he found in the present for that.

Onto the Finale

That’s all I’ve got this week. I find myself looking forward to this section because I’m so excited to see what Habibi turns into with this version. I’ve meditated on the fallout of the Gyu-ho breakup, and I’m excited to see what the drama does with that.  

[pinkystyro]

The small talk. - Satoru Gojo. ִֶָ࣪☾.

꩜ STORY CONTEXT: You are the boss of a bakery where Gojo works as a waiter, but lately he hasn't been doing his job properly, so you call him to your office to have a talk with him, which ends in a very different way than you expected.

꩜ WHAT INCLUDES : Satoru Gojoxfem(reader), 3rd person, smut, OneShot dirty names, spanking, cum out, submissive reader, dominant Satoru Gojo, fingering, moaning, teasing, NSFW!!

Enjoy pookies!

₊˚ෆ I WOULD REALLY APPRECIATE A LIKE AND A REBLOG !

You wake up on another morning, wash your face as usual and have your delicious coffee with milk and your usual toast. You get dressed and get ready to go to work, combing your hair delicately and applying makeup to your eyelashes carefully and perfectly, you moisturize and give shine to your lips with a pink balm that leaves a slight color on them.

Getting into your car you head to your office, you are the boss of a large food chain business, specifically a bakery.

You thought with determination trying to remember the pending tasks you had for that day “›Fix bathroom door…check warehouse…and something related to Gojo…shit…now I don’t remember well what it was about!!’’

Gojo was a waiter with white hair, pale skin and bright blue eyes who had been working in the bakery for a few months. He was quite attractive, you couldn’t deny feeling attracted to him…it was something inevitable!

You arrived at your shop, you greeted everyone except Gojo, why? Because he wasn't there, he was late AGAIN..

You let out an exhausted sigh and asked listlessly “What happened to Gojo this time?” Everyone looked at you with a face of having no idea why Gojo was late.

You entered your office and left your things on your desk, sitting down in your chair and turning on your computer to check your daily tasks. One of them was to have a chat with Mr. Gojo, since lately his performance had been declining and inefficient, you wanted to know if everything was okay, and there was even the idea of ​​firing him, because not only was he late and often didn’t even show up, but sometimes he fell asleep at work, he spent time distracted, either with his cell phone or showing off with clients… For these reasons, it was necessary to have a professional chat with him about his behavior. So you set about doing the other pending tasks you had while you waited for Gojo to show up.

“..Replenish strawberry frosting..done, call the plumber, done! I only have to talk to Gojo..I’ll go see if he’s arrived yet..” You left your office to find the boy sitting on a stool using his cell phone..

“Satoru Gojo!! To my office immediately!!” You said a little upset and after giving the announcement you turned around, entering your office and taking a seat in your desk chair.

Gojo immediately stood up, following you to your office and closing the door behind him. He stood in front of you and your desk. “Tell me Miss Y/N...what can I do for you?” Gojo said, looking at you somewhat nervously, his eyes scanning your body and your hands that had your fingers intertwined, trying to stay calm.

“Take a seat, this is going to take time..” You said looking at the files on your computer and returning your gaze to the boy once you had opened the file called -Satoru Gojo.- While you skimmed what the file said, you let out a sigh as your eyes met the boy's “I feel disappointed Gojo..” You said in a calm tone, without breaking eye contact. “Your performance at work has dropped, your good behavior and discipline…what happened?” You said as a rhetorical question as you stood up and leaned on the table in front of Gojo. “You’re on your phone every time I look in your direction, your waffles burn, your coffee overflows…and most importantly, you flirt too much with the customers…”

Satoru Gojo looked at you in astonishment and with a satisfied smile, raising an eyebrow he said “You’re right, I haven’t been the best worker, but I think you’re jealous, heh!” He said with a superior air as he bit his lower lip with a mischievous smile.

“Excuse me? Jealous? Could you argue that please?” You said formally, trying to maintain patience and composure, as you couldn’t believe what he had said, although he was partly right, seeing him flirt with the customers caused a kind of annoyance in you that you couldn’t explain.

“You say that the most important reason for all this is the fact that I flirt with female clients… that means you are jealous, isn’t it?” The young man said, getting up from his seat, standing in front of you with his arms crossed while licking his lips that formed a smile on his face. “Don’t worry Boss, you are much more beautiful than any of our clients.” He said, getting closer to you, resting his hands on the desk while looking into your eyes with a flirtatious smile.

“No.. I meant it that way.. you misunderstood me.. I eh..” You wanted to speak but you were so nervous.. his eyes met yours, your cheeks blushed and your nerves made you bite your lip.. shit.

“No? So you're saying that if I come closer to kiss you right now, you'd reject the kiss?” Gojo placed his thumb and index fingers on your chin as he raised it slightly to bring his lips closer to yours and make you maintain eye contact even more with his eyes.

“Well...I...” The young man left you completely speechless, you didn't know how to react, you didn't know what to say, you stood completely frozen in front of his lips, wishing they would finally meet yours.. “No...I wouldn't deny you the kiss..”

Gojo's lips formed a mischievous smile and then he said “That's what I wanted to hear.” he said in a seductive tone before joining his lips with yours in a kiss full of passion. Your lips returned his kiss without any resistance.

His hands moved to your waist, having a strong grip on it to intensify the kiss that soon became a wet one, with your tongues coming together, he bit your lip playfully as he brought you closer to his body. Your breasts pressed against his torso, your hands running down his neck, down his collarbone to his shoulders.

His hands went down to your hip where he slightly raised you to rest your butt on the table and continue kissing you. Your fingers intertwined in his hair as you kissed him intensely. His hands ran over every curve of your body, admiring how submissive you had become to his touch.

His hands rose to the buttons of your shirt, unbuttoning them one by one, thus revealing your bra that Gojo quickly unbuttoned and threw to the floor, leaving your breasts exposed to his eyes. He grabbed one of them with one hand and began to move his kisses down your neck, towards your collarbone, while squeezing your nipple with his fingers, to finally begin to kiss the birth of your breasts and move towards the nipple, which soon ended up being licked and bitten by the boy.

Your body was shaking at his actions on you, legs shaking, your private part wet, sighs of pleasure that you let out... god, you were in heaven...

Gojo finally took off your shirt, still playing with your breasts... You slid your hands inside his shirt, taking it off too, caressing his shoulders and shoulder blades while he devoured your breasts desperately...

One of his hands that was holding one of your breasts slid up your thigh, taking off your underwear while you bit your lip from the embarrassment you felt from being so wet...

His hand slid down, pressing his middle finger against your clit while with the other hand he pinched your nipple and kissed you intensely.

His finger began to rub your clitoris lightly, while he slowly increased the speed, making you feel an indescribable pleasure..

Between kisses, you let out soft moans of pleasure..His hand rubbed intensely while the one that squeezed your nipple moved towards your face, positioning it on your cheek while he kissed you more passionately..

His fingers proceeded to insert themselves inside you, immersing you in immense pleasure..body trembling, moans coming out of your mouth, blushing cheeks..this was perfect..

You stretched your arm as best you could to unbuckle his belt and then his pants..thus removing his pants and underwear..revealing a large member that was hard as a rock from seeing you so excited.

“I want to hear you beg me to put it inside your pussy, show me your dark side boss..” Gojo said in a deep voice, as he bent his fingers to touch your G-spot..

Your back arched at that movement, losing complete control of your moans and your dignity.. In a soft and embarrassed tone you said “..please..I need you to put it inside me..now..”

Those words were enough for Gojo to take his fingers out of you and turn you around, pressing your face against the desk, lifting your skirt and revealing your ass, which for him was beautiful..

He spanked you and then placed the tip of his member aligned with the entrance of your pussy..holding you by the hips, he introduced his large member inside you, which made you let out a loud moan and then cover your mouth in shame.

He started to make movements back and forth, sliding his member inside your wet pussy, fucking you hard against the desk..

You couldn't stop your body from shaking, your moans flooded the room completely, Gojo's member hit hard inside you while sighs of pleasure came out of his lips.. “Y/n..your pussy feels incredible.” Gojo said in a hot tone, without stopping the constant movements inside you..

“oh god..Gojo..I'm going to..I'm about to..oh god..I'm going to cum..I can't take it anymore..” you said with your legs shaking, noticing how your pussy shuddered around his cock..

“Do it..make my cock wetter..let everyone know that I'm the one who fucks your pussy the best..” Gojo said, increasing the speed of his thrusts, noticing how your pussy shuddered more and more around his big cock..

You couldn't take it anymore and you came..leaving the office floor and young Satoru Gojo's cock completely soaked..”God..I'm going to cum anyway..” Gojo said before taking his cock out of you to shoot his cum all over your ass.

You both remained catching your breath for a few seconds before Gojo opened his mouth and said “Well..I hope this settles the matter, Boss.” He said pulling up his pants and then putting on his shirt to go back to work “I'm going back to work..if you need to fix anything else, let me know.” he said before giving you one last kiss while grabbing your buttocks tightly.

After that, the boy walked out of your office door, closing it behind him, leaving you completely satisfied and with the clear idea that you were not going to fire Satoru Gojo... in fact, you would need more talks like that with him.

[solis-solaire]

“WELL I’M KEEPING THE CRAVAT”

“OBVIOUSLY, how tf would you prosecute without one?”

I AM DYING.

--AA1 spoilers, AA5 spoilers, minor AAI case 2 spoilers ahead--

Well now this audio has me wondering why Edgeworth kept wearing the cravat after the whole DL-6 getting solved thing. Because it’s been accepted that he began wearing it in the first place due to von Karma’s influence, instead of wearing a bowtie like his father did.

Even after his first trial he lost the over-the-top suit that reflects Manfred’s (although he still kept it on the wall in his office. Maybe he’s trying to remember it whenever he works to remind him to never act that way again?). You’d think after that whole mess that Miles would want to distance himself as much as he could from Manfred’s teachings, and from the way he handles himself in court in the AJ Trilogy I’d say he managed that.

However you’d think that he would’ve started with the easiest things to change, which would be what he wears to court. The cravat is really the only physical part of his appearance (that I’ve noticed) in the first game that was reminiscent of von Karma, so why keep it past AA1? I would think it would be torturous to consciously wear the same things as the person who ruined your life and showed no remorse when he was caught, who just before that tried to send YOU to jail for a murder you didn’t commit.

Maybe it’s similar to keeping his first suit framed in his office, to remind him of what not to be. But I feel like wearing the thing is a little close to home, you know? It’s not like he can see the cravat when he’s wearing it. Maybe because he can feel the neckwear no matter what. Like the von Karma teachings will wring his neck if he ever returns to them.

Or maybe it’s more like Franziska. When I was playing the trilogy I initially thought that maybe she hadn’t heard the full story about Miles’ trial in Japanifornia, only that THAT FOOLISH PHOENIX WRIGHT had bested both her little brother and her father first try in court, and wanted to avenge the von Karma name.

But she was still referencing the von Karma name as something to be proud of during AAI, which takes place 2-3 years after AA1. It could be a variety of things, like she could be in denial, or she could be using it as a coping mechanism in order to feel like nothing’s really changed in her life when in reality she’s dealing with the loss of a parent. Or it could also simply be posturing in front of others in order to not show weakness to anyone in her workplace.

However, my own conclusion is that she decided that her father is no longer worthy of the von Karma name. The day he decided to shoot Gregory Edgeworth was the day he forsook the name of von Karma, therefore she is simply refusing to acknowledge he was ever a part of her family. I began thinking this because of what she said in AAI: “I thought I’d never see the day that a disciple of the von Karma household would become a criminal!” (In reference to Miles getting falsely accused of a murder). Like she just doesn’t acknowledge her father at all by saying that statement. She only seems to consider herself and Miles as part of that name, which is really cute honestly.

So, my point is that Miles is on board with Franziska’s own decisions with reclaiming the very teachings that misled him for 15 years. He investigates the crime scene exhaustively even though as a prosecutor he probably wouldn’t need to. He never gives up as prosecutor, even if he may not agree personally with his own arguments (I say this in reference to AA5. I personally feel like if he was given the choice, he wouldn’t be so hard on Athena since she was in a very similar boat to himself so many years ago. However, he needs to do his job and looked to approach the matter similarly to how Apollo did: needing to present every possibility of guilt in order to prove her innocent without a shadow of a doubt in anyone’s mind, which is likely what he found a prosecutor’s job to really be).

Him continuing to wear the cravat long after Manfred’s sentencing (and probably execution) could be another example of this. To show to everyone that he is NOT turning his back on his teachings or his life for 15 long years, but instead reclaiming that part of his life as his own, to be proud of what he’s gone through and how much he’s grown. That despite how rough it was for him, he was still in control of who he wanted to be.

Or maybe I’m overthinking things and the artists just didn’t consider that when making his sprites for future games/didn’t want to make new sprites for AA2 and AA3

Request: Edgeworth Meets Edgeworth

Anonymous asked prozdvoices:

Prozd, could you please voice an arguing between rookie Edgeworth and investigations series Edgeworth (in a dream or crazy situation, dunno)? It would be kinda of a chalenge but it would be cool to show how he changed.

Consider it a magic dream sequence.  I always found rookie Edgeworth’s outfit REALLY GOOFY.

[wonniie1]

FRIENDS (NOT) ONLY — g!p huh yunjin x fem!reader.

Warning: mostly fluff,g!p,really short smut,kinda angst but happy ending,friends to lovers,yunjin is a cutie.

Note: my english is not perfect,sorry for the typos…don’t forget to let a note and enjoy :3

—

"I like you." a silence,a long and uncomfortable silence.You blinked twice,out of words at the sudden confession,it feels unreal,never been in that kind of situation before and you were clearly uncomfortable.But the thing was,you always had feelings for Yunjin too,since primary school but— you never had the guts to tell her about it,scared to ruin your relationship with your best friend."Y/n if—" you stopped her from saying another word,your palm pressed against her soft lips.It was like a scene you’ve seen from a k-drama,but less romantic because well,there was no camera and no music to make it seem more romantic.Yunjin was staying still,her hands nervously playing with her shirt as she looked at you with her doe eyes,the same eyes that made you fall for her,your biggest weakness.You could feel her lips moving against your hand,trying to say something…

"Huh Yunjin…Listen I— we’ve been friends for over eight years now and…I don’t want us to ruin this relationship we took time to build." You sigh,head lowering to look at the floor,too embarrassed to tell her that."I like you too,very much.But,as a friend." Okay,you clearly hated yourself for that.When you raised your head to look at Yunjin,tears were rolling down her cheeks,stopped by your hand still against her now trembling lips.It was the first time you’ve seen Yunjin crying like that,sure she was a really sensitive person but— it hurts you so much,you remove your now wet hand,approaching the tall girl before wrapping your arms around her neck,she respectfully slide her hands on your waist to hold you,her face reaching for the crook of your neck to find comfort.

She was the most precious person to you,something you wanted to protect even though she was the only one protecting you whenever you were in trouble.You were just scared of what would happen if being with her wouldn’t work.

But that’s what you get for being friend with an alpha,right ? People never believed that you guys were just friends and well— they were totally right but you hate to admit it.

"Unnie,can’t we skip school to go eat an ice cream ?" She mutters against your sensitive skin with a shaky voice,making you close your eyes."S—sure ! Everything you want Jinnie." She let you go,wiping her tears away,you take her hand,a soft smile on your lips,feeling guilty (you were guilty after all).You two walked away,ignoring the confused looks of your fellow classmates who were walking for the next class.You two had this dangerous habit of skipping school at least once a week to go and eat an ice cream not too far from school.It was a tiny ice cream stand,they didn’t had that much customers to be honest and every time they saw you with Yunjin,they would say something like "you two are so cute together." You would let out a nervous laugh every time while Yunjin was just nodding,a cute smile on her face as if she agreed with the old man’s words (she probably do).

"As usual,ahjussi." He nods,knowing exactly the parfum you guys liked the most.For Yunjin,it was a mix of strawberry and vanilla,and for you,only chocolate (you are a picky eater).You two walked towards the parc right next to the stand,waving at the old man who made a heart with his hands,teasing you and Yunjin who couldn’t help but blush.

But to be honest,you felt something was different from when you two were usually together.You hated Yunjin so much for confessing,why would she suddenly confess in front of you on a school day after two hours of mathematics— gosh you hated maths…

You two were silent,sitting on a old and dirty bench,the sound of kids screaming and playing with the wind and the birds singing,it was pleasant and peaceful,but your heart was still heavy,you wanted to cry so much,to scream at her or disappear and never comeback again.And she was too cute licking on that ice cream like a kid,watching the kids play and laughing at them,arghh ! You wanted to kiss and hug her so bad,it was almost painful.Pull yourself together Kim Y/n ! Yunjin may be the hottest person in this world,she’s still your friend since eight long years ! But still…

"Why?…" you mutters,eyes looking down the floor,legs swinging back and forth as she gave you a confused look,you closed your eyes,not ready to witness Yunjin’s cute puppy eyes."mmh ?" She was clearly confused and it was obvious,you cleared your throat."Why now ? Why did you choose that day instead of I don’t know…a most private moment ? When we are alone at my house or…" She glances at you,her hand holding her almost finished ice cream.You sigh in a dramatic way,desperately waiting for an answer.

"You look the most pretty today,that’s why." A silence,the same as the one when she confessed to you not even an hour ago.You finally manage to look at her with a confused look on your face,lips slightly parted."what…" she has that smile on her face,looking at the sky,she was so pretty…

You looked like all the other days,you used the same products and you have the same hairstyle,you touched your face,eyebrows furrowed in confusion.She let out a soft laugh,turning her head so she can properly face you."That’s not what i meant,you’re always pretty Y/n.But…I don’t know,i had feelings for you since the first day we met,when I saw you picking your nose." You slap her arm. "yah !" She let out a melodic laugh,caressing her arm as she throws the cone of her ice cream in the trash next to her.You finally stand up,ready to tell her everything about your feelings,how you really felt.

You take a deep breath,clenched fists and furrowed eyebrows."I hate you Huh Yunjin ! I hate you because I have the same feelings for you but…b—but I don’t want us to be together because it will ruin our friendship ! What if…what if it doesn’t work ? Then we will stop talking and hanging out because of some stupid feelings." Heavy breath,a few tears falling down your cheeks,lips parted— You were a total mess,she stood there,in front of you,walking closer."Y/n,we know each other better than anyone,you’re everything to me,im already here as a best friend but…I want to be there too as your lover,I want you to be happy because I care about you so so much…" she gets on her knees,glossy and doe eyes looking up at you.

"P—please,give me a chance to be yours because I can’t keep it for myself anymore,it h-hurts…" her voice was full of sadness and pain,seeing her like that made you so sorrow.You slowly run your hands over her face,thumb wiping away her tears.

"Let’s go home and watch my little pony and eat more ice cream,okay ?" She nods,standing up on her feet as you two walk out the parc.Nobody else is at home,your parents works at the hospital so they’re very busy,you basically have the house for yourself and it’s pretty sad,you can only see your parents on weekends or day off since they come home pretty late.Now that you two confessed,it was much more worse,and Yunjin haven’t said anything since then,she was usually a yapper so it was pretty odd…

"I’m so fucking dumb,I ruined our friendship…" She mutters,her back facing you because she was too embarrassed to look at you,arms hugging her own body.You can’t help but smile at how cute she was,you walk close to her."let’s go up to my room." You propose,hands nervously playing with your shirt as you go up the stairs,followed by Yunjin."You never ruined our friendship,you’re the best friend anyone could wish for." She raise up her shoulders,blushing at the sudden compliment as she sit down on your bed,making you look away.

"So,let’s watch the new episode we missed last time." You sits next to her,lifting up the blanket to put it on your bodies.You bring the laptop on your lap,carefully searching for the episode before clicking on play.

—

It’s been ten minutes now since you two were focused on the screen,you moved a little closer to Yunjin,she dropped her head against your shoulder,without really noticing nor caring about it.You turned your head to look at her,she was too cute you couldn’t stop looking at her,it was so hard to resist,your eyes slowly dropped on her soft lips,slightly open like a child who was watching their favorite animation.That’s it,you were ready to show her how much your love for her was probably bigger than her love for you,so you moved a little bit,making her squeal as she blinked twice because of the strong light of the screen.You take a last breath before carefully putting your fingers on her chin to raise up her head.Yunjin take her eyes off the screen to stare at you with a confused and innocent look."Unn—…" She has no time to say anything before you press your lips against hers,taking her in a soft and warm kiss.

The kiss was long and intense,both your hands on her cheeks as she took off her glasses in the most sexiest way (business proposal reference),making you smile against the kiss.Her nose was brushing against your cheek,she clearly waited for god only knows how many years for this to happen,and you did too— you gently push her,out of breath and clearly out of your mind too.Heavy breaths was filling the room,you paused the screen,your eyes never leaving Yunjin’s as she was as confused and clueless as you."okay so…didn’t know a loser like you would be such a good kisser…" you chuckle softly,making her blush and turn her face to the other side."shut up,you’ve never kissed someone before." And now you were recognizing the funny and bright Yunjin,you two laughed so hard after that,Yunjin’s hands reaching for yours as she got on her knees.

"Give me a chance and I’ll prove you that even together,we can still be the silly best friends we always used to be..." She hissed softly,a tiny smile on her face as you slowly nods,giving her all your trust.And you guys kiss again,she took one of your hands,playing with your fingers one by one,her hand was much more huge than yours.The kiss was turning into something more hot,Yunjin approached her other hand against your clothed belly,slowly caressing you in a soft and gentle way,not wanting more than making you comfortable.But you wanted more,desired more,so you took her hand,leading her inside your shirt to make a contact with your bare skin.

You had so much faith in her,she was the greenest flag you’ve ever met and she couldn’t even hurt a bug.She was much more experienced than you but it’s not like you were clueless about all of this so you gave her all of your trust,not worrying about anything."you sure you wanna do this ? If you d—" you cut her."Yun,i trust you with all of my heart." She smiled at you,slowly nodding before slowly sliding her hand up,reaching for your chest as you let out an uncontrollable sigh,hands against the sheets.

She pulled you towards her to get on her lap so it was more easy for her to see you and touch you.Her eyes never leaves yours,fingers struggling to pull your bra as you helped her by raising your arms,she took the opportunity to take off your shirt as well,exposing your perfectly sized and round tits."you’re so perfect…" she whispered,making you blush and let out an embarrassed squeal.She wastes no time and take one of your tits in her mouth,making you feel so good and loved for some reason— She was so good with her mouth,making you go insane and it was far from the end yet.Her other hand grabbed your other tit,stroking it with her thumb.

It didn’t take so long before you ended up on top of her,already ready for the next level.She whispered cute words against your sensitive ear,making you blush and shook your head to stop her from talking even more.She let out a small chuckle,finding it funny and pleasant to tease you.

She got rid of the rest of your clothes,doing the same for her as you couldn’t stop but stare at her perfectly built body,and at the HUGE thing between her legs.how this big thing’s gonna fit in ? Yunjin was gently stroking her own cock to prepare herself,she then began to spread your legs,fingers reaching for your private part as she started to caress your pussy."Tell me if it hurts." she gently said before entering a finger inside your cunt,making you clench your jaw as her finger was joined by a second one." Feels good…" you whisper to reassure her.She slowly nods,letting out a heavy sigh as she fucks you so good,her fingers were probably enough to make you come.You tried your best to keep any sounds from escaping your mouth but it was so hard,the pain mixed with pleasure made you feel so wet,making it more easy for Yunjin to move her fingers inside you.

But you wanted something bigger to fill you entirely,so you pulled her closer to you,glossy eyes and lips parted."Y—…mmgh ! Want your c-cock please…" Yunjin smiled and kissed your cheek,she removed her fingers,replacing them with something way more bigger and better.It hurts,but in a good way— she waited a little bit before starting to slowly move her hips.A bulge appeared inside your belly, Yunjin panics for a second before you reassure her that it didn’t hurt that much,just a weird feeling of being completely filled.She let out a heavy breath,face down the crook of your neck as her arms slides around your waist to hold you closer.

"You’re doing so good baby…" was the last words she said against your neck,her hips moving faster,hitting your spot with each thrusts,making you both moan at the feeling.She was hitting it too good,you felt already close to your orgasm,hands reaching for Yunjin’s back. "G—gonna…" you couldn’t even finish your sentence before you finally came ,squirting all over Yunjin’s hard cock.A few more thrusts and Yunjin pulled out,pumping her cock to let out a white fluid,reaching her orgasm right after you.

Her whole body dropped on yours,heavy breaths filling the hot room as she close her eyes,probably tired.You gently caress her head against your chest,a satisfied smile on your face as you two fall asleep right after.

.