#and I will be experimenting a bit with anything I draw rn. in my fuck around era!

[b4kuch1n]

Hello! As you guys have seen, I’ve been figuring out the dip pens recently for a project, and I’d love to draw a guy of your choice as practice!

Head Over Here (Or Input The Link In The Picture Above) To Get A Slot

Three slots will be available every time I open for this! Please read and follow the instruction for sending references upon purchase; if references are not sent after 24 hours since the purchase is made, I’ll assume you’ve cancelled the commission and refund. If you need an extension on that, please leave me a word in Tumblr message or email!

UPDATE 20/06/2023: 3/3 slots filled. Thank you so much for your support, and please stay tuned for the next round!

[feminetomboy]

Going through a really big frustration phase with my art rn, please be patient with me (and by you I mean myself I feel the need to wrap my spine around a lamp post bites bites bites bites)

[prodbyton]

The sun literally still out and I feel like a dirty WHORE bc all I can think about is sub!sohee and sub!reader..

You would’ve thought yall both woke up ovulating or some shit cus the way both of you are so needy for the other’s touch and attention that one of you taking a more dominant role isnt even a thought that crosses either of yalls minds?? Brains just empty as hell, so focused on doing whatever feels good and feeling the most amount of pleasure.

You both are already skin to skin but it isn’t even enough. Hands gripping everywhere and anywhere on each other’s bodies to feverishly pull the other impossibly closer.Every touch only makes you wetter and him harder. You both don’t know wtf has gotten into yall but it all feels so addicting, forget thinking about it too hard.

Both of you almost in daze just kissing sloppy as hell, unashamedly moaning and whining into each other’s mouths, biting lips and sucking on tongues and necks and skin. Every action just making u both a babbling mess. Not even trying to hold back the noises and reactions that you two draw from each other’s bodies cus ur brains been clocked out and r wayyyy past the point of ANY coherent thought.

Completely drunk of the feeling and presence of the other. Just wanting to make the other person feel good. Getting off on knowing damn well that it’s only you, it’s only sohee, that can make such a pathetic mess of the other, something no one else gets the privilege to experience or witness in that moment. (I mean ik sohee is a freaky fucking frog and gets off on fucking and sucking in risky places but we not talking about dat rn!!!)

Accidentally overstimulating each other so bad cus everything just feels sooooo good that stopping didn’t even cross your stupid fucked out minds. The craving you two have for each other’s touch feels almost insatiable.

Like it’s almost greedy and primal and maybe a bit possessive the way the two of you need to feel more and more and more of the other until both of yall eventually tap out.

Sohee makes me so feral idk. All I know is is that im tryna be in the walls of his house like a termite :3

(Hehe also can I be 🍓 anon if u do that kinda thing? I send asks wayyy to often for me to not just give in and give myself a government assigned emoji 😭😭😭 (I’m also the one who sent the audio in too haha I hoped u liked it as much as I did 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭))

you got me feeling like a whore reading this at work 😭 but MY GODDDDD i need this so bad omg ur mind… like i dont even have anything to add this was too good😭‼️

also saying both sohee and yn are ovulating really got me weak but i fw it… like yeah he gotta be ovulating the way he’s so needy :p also calling him a freaky frog icb omg 😭

and yes you can be 🍓 anon!! welcome <3 and thank you for that audio i enjoyed it very much 🫡

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WBITA if i told my mom to stop watching kdramas and get off the internet.

I [20F] have been increasingly frustrated with my mother [44F] for a very stupid and hypocritical reason. We're pretty close, with her mostly raising me on my own and all that, but we're very different people and often clash on a lot of things. Despite that, I like hanging out with her and telling her about stuff and vice versa. She also works from home, so we're around each other very often since I don't work rn.

The problem is that for the last month or so she's gotten very into kdramas and youtube summaries of manhwas and all that. I am not trying nor claiming to be a mental healthcare professional, but I am 99% sure she has some type of undiaognosed autism (like once she told me that for most of her life she didnt how to show or feel emotion and she would copy other people arround her and we had an argument about how that is Not The Common Human Experience. Among other things she's a neat freak, blunt, has told me before that she has very bad intrusive thoughts and so on) . This is relevant bc another one of her quirks is that she can become obsessive with something Very Easily. She cannot help herself from bingwatching shows, speedreading through books, She Has To Finish A Task Before Anything Else In This One Specific Order. This is serious, she geniunely gets angry or frustrated about any sort of interruption. Normally this is fine for me to work around, but the reason I am here with this ask is bc it's gotten worse.

Every time I go and try to talk to her, she's got her headphones on, watching a manhwa video (her headphones are bad bc they're work headphones so I can hear what she's listening to). 90% of the time I interrupt her, she does the biggest sigh, fixes me with a dead stare, and acts dimissive. At night, where she would usually hangout in the living room watching idle TV, she now goes straight to her room to watch kdrama's in bed, and her room is where she works from too. The latest development is that she's stopped eating in the livingroom during her work breaks too, which was the one time of day I could hang out with her while she's on the clock. She instead asks me to bring her food to her room and once again, on her personal laptop, watching manhwa summaries.

This, on top of my own personal declining mental health and the fact that sometimes I feel like our roles are reversed (I do any chore she asks me around the house, I cook for the entire house, I am the one sent to do grocery shopping etc while she goes out with her friends) I don't mind this usually, she is my mom, I am unemployed, and she does work a 9 to 5 even if it is from home. But now it stings a lot. The part that makes me think I am the asshole is the fact that the way she is acting right now is the exact same thing she used to scold me on before. "Take off those headphones, stop only hangin out in your room, notice the world around you" and I am still a bit like that. But I feel like I've changed. I finished highschool during the pandemic and quarantine and it fucked me up, not having the strongest friendships irl since I live in a fairly conservative country and I am very outwardly queer and stuff. But I've made an effort to start talking to her, to hang out with her, to help around the house. I was and still half am in the same behavioral pattern she is in right now, but I feel like I've made the effort to not wear headphones so often so I can hear if she calls me, to leave the door to my room open etc. It feels like minor things, ik.

I will also say, while I spend a lot of time online and on my phone/laptop, I do a diversity of things. I draw, I watch youtube videos, I talk and play games with my friends, I read, etc. Things I don't mind pausing. My mom, all she does, is ocasionally scroll through instagram, respond to messages, and watch youtube manhwa summaries. It is all that she does. And she acts like I've come in yelling during one of her meetings every time I interrupt her.

The problem here is, I am afraid that if I bring this up with her, that I will find out the change in behaviour I think I made would be invisible to her and that I would be the biggest hypocrite. And I do not want another yelling match as we have had several in the past on similar subjects, where I think I've changed but she doesn't.

Another one, it seems to make her happy. She laughs, and seems to be geniunely invested. Her new workplace is stressful and the work that she has to do is complicated, and I am glad she's found something to destress her and again. I do the same thing, I hole myself up in my room and spend time alone, why am I now mad at her for doing the exact same thing, right? But she's stopped listening to me. I tell her about things, she dismisses me bc she was in the middle of a video, and then comes calling for me because "Why haven't you done x y z Why is x y z here Why are we missing x y z" despite me having told her. I've suggested to her to watch some longer youtube videos together, which is usually our bonding method, and she'll agree. How that usually went was that I would wait until she called me since its her schedule we work around or that I pop into the living room and her seeing me would remind her. Now, again, she barely leaves her room. She just watches those videos and those shows. Nothing else. Works, sends out the roomba to vaccum every day, either gets her own food or yells for me to do it for her, and thats it. Checks on her plants maybe, does one or two chores that I haven't done. Back to her manhwas.

So , WIBTA if I confronted her about this and told her to stop? It risks another yelling match between us, it is hypocritical of me to do so bc I am the same. I am not gonna pretend I don't also become a hermit and hole myself up in my room. But idk. And it seems to be a geniune interest for her and it makes me happy, even tho in this whole situation I feel abandoned by my mother. Which sounds very stupid and dramatic but. Oh well.

What are these acronyms?

[sug4r-sp1c3]

Hi!

Could you maybe do villanous x a reader who has rabbit ears please? Thanks!!

RULES ARE RULFES NO SPECIFIC CHARACTERS OR THINGS ITS BEING A HC UHHHH

ok lets begin since i'm sleepy ITA 1 AM WHAT THE FUCK

"but sugar-sp1c3 you said your limit was 4 character-" I KNOW OKAYI' JUST FORGOT WHEN DOING THIS

VILLANOUS WITH A S/O WITH RABBIT EARS HCS !!

Characters, Demencia/Dementia, Dr.Flug, 5.0.5(platonic?), Black hat, penumbra, Sun Blast, Miss heed(not in order lol)

Demencia / Dementia

she woudl make fun of then

but like

A LOT

"Hey bunny ears!"

i feel like she would bite them idk

i mean yes she mocks of you BUT THATS HER WAY TO SHOW LOVE TO YOU..at least i think!

she haves 2 sides

the left one where she mocks and jokes and bites of you ears

and the right side where she praises you and your eyes and- you are basically her new black hat

she would often play with them

or if you have both rabbit and human she would be like:

"SO YOU HAVE SUPER HEARING!!?! OMG THATS SO COOL"

Dr. Flug

his first honest reaction is that gif sorry i don't make rules

HE THINKS THEY ARE COOL AND PRETTY ASF

HE MELTS IF THEY EVEN MOVE LIKE

HE JUST STARES AT YOU IN AWWE UNTIL HE SNAPS BACK TO REALITY!

unless his with black hat bc in that case he avoids to look at your ears at all cost since the "jefecito" can notice and idk yeah

he would probably want to do some experiments

but only friendly ones!!

like testing if you can do other things

if you have extra sensitive ears

or somthn idk i have no ideas rn

he would like to caress them on his little free time

oh btw he would LOVE if you and 5.0.5 where like best buddies or you would be his second parent-like figure(i swear i am trying to make his non specified gender I SWEAR GUYS)

he just lvoes you and you ears so much

5.0.5

he's a fucking bear bruh 💀

ok so thsi will be platonic like buddies or a second parental figure, or smthn like that

he loves to "talk" about your ears or ask you questions.(if you don understand them he would force flug to translate lmao)

he is very careful when he is trying to touch them since y'know..big paws

but he still tries!!

i imagine if he maked cupcakes the icing would be a drawing of an airplane, of dementia, a chameleon or a black hat idk, for you YOUR RABBIT EARS AND A HEART BECAUSE I THINK THEY ARE CUTE!!!!

he would even "ask" you to use you as inspiration for any dessert, or drawing or smthn.

i bet if he haves a rabbit plushie he gives it to you and/or puts something on the ears(ribbons, little hats, etc) he would be like "bow bow!" [siblings!]

Black Hat

he probably threats to rip off your ears

and eat them

basically hurt you

DUDE HE IS LIKE THE ANTI CHRIST ON HIS UNIVERSE WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO TURN HIM INTO A ONCELER?

Penumbra

SHE

LOVES

YOUR

EARS

SHE OFTEN POSTS THINSG ON HER INSTAGRAM(with your consent ofc) LIKE "my sweetie's ears where a bit messy today! so me and sun blast fixed them just a lil bit.... loved the result! 🐇💜"

she would ask if you are sensitive to things like sound or something to try to not let a lot of hard things that can cause a hard sound when they fall or make sure Curie or Sunblast don't throw things

she oftenly tries to impulse you to not cover them! but if you like to have them covered, she would be okay with that too!

the same that flug

she would ask to make some little and non-offensive, experiments on your ears

if you don't want, its okay!

if you want, its okay too!

"look! i got you this! i bet it would make your ears fur brighter!..and curie's too"

Miss Heed

okay she would POST LIKE 10000 HISTORIES, POSTS, AND A LOT OF THINGS IN ALL HER SOCIAL MEDIA

LIKE SAYING "HAH MY s/O'S EARS ARE UNIQUE AND YOURS NOT"

but she would never say that out loud.

she would ask to records tiktoks or anything about them, like idk trends, popular songs or just quick vid like "watch me take care of my Sweetie S/o ears!"

if they are sensitive, during the event of when she had everybody under her control or smthn she would keep you away from them

yes she would be a bit sadistic and evil but she still cares abt you

..or she just does the same thing that she did with them..

when she's at..THAT place..she draws in a corner a lot of little ears, like if she misses you and misses your ears..

if you visit, she would beg to touch them again , to feel them..she would be crazy for it..

Sunblast

Red BEFORE the "The Dreadful Dawn".

Orange AFTER "The Dreadful Dawn" and BEFORE the events of the comic and The "Heedeous Heart"

Yellow AFTER "The Dreadful Dawn" and the events of "The Heedeous Heart" and the little comic

even if you where his S/O he would mock of you and of them..

listen he knows you are his S/O but he just..feels like its the right thing or it doesn't matters

he doesn't even minds as i can think

he is just like "oh i am just joking! geez.."

Now under Penumbra's uhm..how do i say it?..NOW WITH PENUMBRA LMAO

he realized that he may have been a bit too much harsh with you..

he persuades Penumbra to localize you or visit you to apologize

if things go well..you both could try again!

and he is better.

He even tries to make you be friends with Penumbra! like he did with her

He still makes jokes but he thinks about them for a long time like

"no..that would hurt their feelings..NO ITS BAD..well- no wait..no..oh...this one may be good.."

he fears of you getting like the other ones..he tries to protect you at all cost

if you do get under Miss heed's..thing

he would be like mad but that multiplicate it for 10 and then for 100

the only thing that keeps him away from hurting heed and all her followers its his current little size and Curie

when you aren't under heeds control he makes sure you and your ears are okay..

he asks everyday if you are 100% SURE IF YOU ARE OKAY

after the Miss heed thing he is worried more than he should be but like c'mon

leave the little guy alone :(

he lost 2 of his most special people in his life just because a pink bitch

[unproduciblesmackdown]

i feel like you would have really fascinating takes on the transformers franchise if that was ever something something you got into (meant as complimentary. kind of inspired by the fast and furious zine you talk abt every now and then tho in tf case its much more transgender in the comics (kind of in transformers one as well?) than the live action verse. asia kate dillon in a transformers movie when...) sorry if this is random as hell :]

oh thank you, this ask is a treat to randomly get, fun insight on that connection & my theoretical fascinating takes is [takes the compliment] rn lol

i've never directly experienced any transformers franchise media besides Knowing Of It while existing concurrently with it on this earth, gleaned a tiny bit of info but any like. lol here we go: transformative &/or just fan analysis / discussion worlds are pretty entirely unknown to me, but i guess i both already assume & am distantly aware of like queer fanbase existing lol & like you really have to deconstruct ideas about sexuality & gender if you're dealing with stuff like alien robots fucking, i'm sure two trucks having sex has to be a thing for transformers fans more than even the average tumblr user. which like now that you've sent this idea connecting it to Fast & Furious: Transgender Style like i'm sure just as that is kind of an uphill battle (at least seemingly) to fix a trans lens on, like, well it's an uphill battle i'm sure if some transformer fan ships the transformers but has to draw mechs about it. however, "trans" is right in the name. just like on real, regular trucks sometimes

also like genuinely maybe you should pitch "trans / queer input on the transformers franchise" to https://www.girldadpress.com/contact as an idea for a potential upcoming anthology work again, like the first zine being that "all trans contributors doing works about the fast & furious franchise" (which i could contribute to without having ever seen any movies or knowing anything besides what was from the one relevant video game we watched a playthrough of on youtube. while also not being the only contributor who had never seen anything fast & furious / didn't know much / didn't particularly like it lol) & the anthology in progress right now being queer contributors doing works about the sex & the city franchise, which i also know nothing about, except maybe making the connection about the funny unlikely "and just like that" making billions have to quickly edit in some voiceover into an episode, & then i start talking actually about being the queer trans "also not a fan, also haven't even actually seen this" about billions lmao But. that'd be in writing so we can imagine a sprawling [just me complaining / analyzing a whole different media] all while like, i'm not the Wrong Audience billionswatcher with that insight + writing skill combo (that would be nothingunrealistic)

anyway they Are open to input / ideas like that lol & i didn't have any ideas to offer but like why not send it in? & then maybe eventually you could have a zine of fascinating takes on the transformers franchise. i really enjoyed the full 2 trans 2 furious zine as someone who barely already knew anything, so probably if i Did know shit it'd only be an enhanced experience.

asia kate dillon in the last(?) fast & furious movie, in a transformers movie sure, in Anything, anywhere in their range from Striking, Intense Presence to funny little guy (highest honor)

(bonus: from following a few blogs for cats (jellicle) (have been meaning to like watch the '98 proshot but haven't actually yet. know a bit & respect it / like it on principle / like it distantly b/c like Yeah Sure but again another thing i don't know much about. one time my costume for a show i was in was very cats style, which is great. unfortunately don't have access to any of the disposable camera vlogging pics i took. it was purple & i did my own face makeup whee) i see things about Starlight Express, the andrew lloyd webber musical about trains & their train contest & it's done on rollerskates & i also know basically nothing but it's, you know, people As Train Units in costumes that like at a glance are kind of giving transformers(tm) b/c how could it not, really. this is like my main trainsformers (keeping that typo, sure) thing to offer rn)

[peppermintstarsonamintyway]

This, is definitely overdue.

Alright, hi, hello. Let's talk- as my shittily drawn comic says-

First off, I'm Kaz, I also go by Wolfy, Fifty (from my old tumblr user/tag/whatever), and any variation of Peppermint. One friend who has tumblr as well calls me Pepsi on discord for shits and giggle and another knows my real name. Well, both know, it's just a 50/50 on what they use-

I am a sexuality questioning neurodivergent genderfluid creature, I don't care what pronouns are used for me as long as the person talking to me is comfortable with me.

On here I'll be most commonly showing myself as a kitsune with just, a chalk board on hand. Or, well, paw.

Okay, general blog rules and things to know.

No explicit nsfw. You can send asks being curious about certain habits of my ocs and draw whatever kinda art of them you want (do not touch ANY little ones I will block you so fast), but anything in regards to me myself, absolutely the fuck not.

Oc shipping is perfectly okay with me! Just don't ask about children and keep your fan children to yourself, please and thank you. I do not want asks about my ocs having children in my askbox.

I am VERY much a multishipper, if you see me shipping my ocs with my other ocs, do not assume you can't come in and make an offer of one of your own ocs. Do not be afraid to talk to me about shipping ocs or oc interactions in general.

As long as I'm credited, anyone is more than welcome to use my art for whatever the fuck they want. If it's something questionable, I'd prefer you keep it to yourself, but otherwise, go ahead. Although I'd be surprised if anyone wanted to use my art for anything-

I do NOT. I repeat, do NOT. Take commissions. I'll take requests to draw ocs and other such things, alongside canon characters, but I do NOT take commissions. Requests will really only be sketches, occasionally colored and sometimes legitimately finished because I had the energy for it.

I feel as though this should be obvious, but I'll say it anyways, pro-shippers, racists, lgbtq+phobics, assholes of generally any kind, especially those obsessed with politics, aren't fucking welcome here. This blog is here for me to look at content from people I like and affectionately blast my mutuals with whatever cracked up shit I come up with. If you can't help but be a piece of shit in my safe space, you can go fuck yourself.

Be kind. I don't care who you are, I don't care what you came here for, but if you can't bare to spare a shred of kindness when you talk to me, I don't want you interacting with my blog. You can criticize my art, the way I write, the way I talk, just how much I ramble, but if you can't be nice about it, I'd rather you say nothing at all.

Alright, that should be that.

If you wanna contact me, you can contact me on here through tumblr's messaging system, but you can also contact me on discord at .peppermintstars! If you're gonna friend me on discord, please warn me before you do. I don't have the best experience with randomly being friended and I may end up blocking you on instinct- I do have a twitter although I don't use it so I won't bother linking it until I start using it.

I hope to eventually start streaming sometime this year, be it with or without a 2d or 3d model, so if you wanna support me, you can find me on twitch and youtube!

I'll also give a list of the media I'm into and what you can expect me to be reblogging! Or at least looking at-

Cookie Run! Primarily ocs. (I don't know what the fuck is going on in the story rn and I need to get caught up-)

Persona 5 Royal and in subsequent, the Persona series in general.

Demon Slayer! (Or Kimetsu No Yaiba if you prefer to call it that.)

Pokemon. I like to watch the animes and if I can I'll get whatever new game comes out, even if I get it a bit late-

How To Train Your Dragon! Yes I'm still into HTTYD even years after the first movie came out. That shit ain't going no where.

Honkai: Star Rail and Genshin Impact! Although the interest for these has diminished and isn't ever really consistent, I may as well list them because I either do play them or have played them.

Cult of The Lamb! I like Narilamb. I like Narinder. I've a thing for powerful higher beings in general okay-

Dungeons and Dragons! If you need a dm or an extra player for whatever reason, I am more than open to joining a campaign.

Dark Souls! And other souls-like games from FromSoftware- ties into the D&D thing because I get way too many ideas watching playthroughs of those games.

God of War! Again, the liking of powerful higher beings- also ties into D&D.

The Resident Evil series! Leon Kennedy is hot and Ethan Winters was a good dad.

FNAF! Alongside other such mascot horror games- Poppy Playtime included (mostly just for Dogday.)

Mythology and folklore! Hopefully evident by the fact I chose a kitsune as my persona on here- also connects into D&D again to no one's surprise.

That should be everything I can remember off the top of my head!

That's all, thank you for reading, have a good day, and here's a sleepy kitsune for your troubles!

[omegamoo]

HI ive gained brajnrot from your oc from only the little bit ive heard of them. if youd be alright with it could you tell me iotas lore? /nf tho!! (also ive been drawing them based on art you reblogged a few days ago and ive been having a lot of fun :D they have such a cool design and aa) ((also also first ask from me hello hello wonderful mutual))

I GOT SO FAR THROUGH WRITING THIS ASK AND THEN TUMBLR DELETED IT. anyways hiiiiii beloved mutual welcome to my inbox! im literally so honored u got brainrot from my silly girly.... please feel free to share ur art if u feel so inclinced... i'd cry /pos

hope its okay im about to. infodump. im putting it under the cut. this is so long this is so much more than u asked for hopefully tgm doesn't kill me for explaining the plot. lol

alright. lets go again. iota is a part of a project called the whittled pantheon, which tells the story of eleven gods-ish and their experiences. its kinda broadly complicated and im only here to tell iota lore rn so if you want more general lore check the "whittled pantheon" tag link in my pinned!

okay so iota. pronouns she/it/moon although i largely default to she. oops. its the goddess of the wild - deepest darkest nights, moon and stars, the forests. uncivilized area. grass taller than ur head. wildflowers. u get the idea. she has a brother, agathodaemon, who's the god of the tamed (he's written by the lovely lovely tgm). iota is very introverted and prefers to spend most of her time in the woods with her conditionally immortal wolfpack. moon doesn't interact with humans and is. so very uncivilized please do not bring moon into the court room oh god

whittled pantheon itself as a story is split into essentially two parts - the old world, where the gods are born and spend the most time, and the new world, where the gods flee after the destruction of the old world. in the old world, iota's very reclusive. this is where you see it vibing with its pack and being a woods girly. she interacts mostly with agathodaemon, as well as statikos (god of beasts, written by tweewig) and palaemon (water god). she does interact with the other gods but like. infrequently. and never with humans.

so time goes on. agathodaemon builds a giant city on the coast and its destroying natural resources and iota goes okay this is no longer cool. she and palaemon get together and confront daemon and they're like hey buddy. stop. agathodaemon temporarily stops and then comes back, resulting in a massive falling out between daemon and iota. then, palaemon dies mysteriously, and his death starts the destruction of the world, starting with a flood that wipes out daemon's city. lol karma i guess.

the catalyst is what we've been calling the destruction of the world (the balance of the world is fucked up. water dries up, world shatters from inside out). the gods kinda collectively get together for once and go alright. oh shit. and Leave. but in the process they leave iota behind

iota now has to survive the literal destruction of her entire known world. moon is the only god left on the old world, and she's surrounded by humans who fundamentally make no sense to it and also need/want it to save them. but iota cannot save them because she is one god left alone. she tries, though. she meets lots of humans one of whom it becomes like. very good ambiguous 'besties' with. this is fortuna. she changes iota's entire perception of the world. but you know the world is dying and all of the humans die and iotas immortality is like. dripping down the drain and she cannot find a way back. but daemon comes to the rescue because even after everythign he loves her. the whole rescue bit has a whole Other set of worldbuilding lore and explanations that i will not get into here just know that its a thing. they make it back to the new world and start to Heal.

im not going to explain anything else because spoilers. but. i think all this is good to talk about. hopefully. or tgm will fucking kill me /j. but yeah. god. this was somuch more than you asked for.......... well enjoy anyways <3

[meetthesoldier]

hi sorry this is outta nowhere but i would love to hear ur thoughts on harry (phone

SORRY ANON I LEGIT FORGOT ABT THIS ASK and im too lazy to draw her fr so heres some fanart i drew of her dying in a glue trap

this time i have a bit more thoughts on her as an actual character so ill start w that before the headcanon dump ... also, throughout this post ill be referring to her w she/her pronouns because of a personal headcanon im VERY attached to. all i ask is any rbs or further questions abt my specific vision of her use those same pronouns... in others posts i do not care obviously. also, this post is specifically abt her in the dsaf universe since shes far more substantial there.

firstly, i should say i ADORE harry. she is one of my biggest comfort characters in a series where almost everybody is one for me. so when i give any criticisms, know its out of love and a wish for some more expansive writing rather than any malice. being critical of media you love is important, etc etc.

my biggest issues with her character really boils down to the lack of acknowledgement abt her being physically disabled. she mentions having a "bad leg" during 3, but its ONLY mentioned that one time, during (i believe) missable dialogue. i understand her not using, like, mobility aids for it since it may be difficult to find suitable stock images (+ all the phonies in that game use the same photos for their bodies, and its totally possible its not something she feels she needs), but it probably shouldve been mentioned or expanded upon more.

i dont believe were given any explanation on how her leg ended up the way it is, or in what way it is. we dont know if she was born with her disability or aquired it later. we dont know if its paralyzed, we dont know if its because of a muscular dystrophy, or anything else. i just wish we were given more info, bcus as it is, it is REALLY easy to look over in favor of, say, her ptsd.

speaking of which, i have some mixed feelings on how her ptsd is portrayed. on one hand, the joke in the restaurant reviews abt her having flashbacks and a subsequent panic attack feels very distasteful, though thankfully this is (i believe) the only instance of this kind of joke at her expense. im glad elsewise it isnt some huge , controlling part of her character - however, again, it IS missable. while one can assume she has it when she discusses her past, i dont believe its explicitly stated UNTIL that review.

tldr; her disability feels poorly handled, mostly from lack of expansion and discussion.

thankfully, though, she is elsewise a very enjoyable character; shes got some really good and funny dialogue, the exposition we get from her about the original managers is really fucking good, and i really wish we heard more abt her experience working with rebecca (and presumably roger)... again, her biggest issues are just not having as much of a spotlight on her as she couldve, but considering the employees arent really the main focus of the game that may be fine actually...

(as an aside, i think about this post every day and cry audibly.)

thus ends the longform musings, onto the silly headcanons;

standard fare queer headcanon dump: trans woman + demisexual lesbian. also, polyamorous. fuck yeah baby steak (ref)

was in a queerplatonic relationship with joe while he was alive, and a romantic one with both tango/terrence (who has some gender fuckery going on as well) and rebecca because i am not immune to homemade lesbianism.

has ptsd in canon, but im adding a "c" in front of that cause aint no way she lived through all of her coworkers (and presumably FRIENDS) dying in such horrific ways and was only affected in the short-term.

autistic! specifically also has the thing i do where i need the time to be a multiple of 5 before i can start doing anything. also has generalized anxiety i think, with a tendency to catastrophize and compensates by insisting to herself everything is toootally fine. definitely NOT going to have a breakdown rn because shes not totally sure that that vending machine is 100% not going to fall on her specifically

probably didnt have many friends as a kid (L) so now she overcompensates by trying to be as charming and polite as possible. wether or not this works in her favor or makes her seem pretentious is a coinflip. (its certainly working on me though!)

has a real soft spot for random niche animals. probably a big salamander and gecko girl. her favorite is the marbled salamander because its cute as hell

slightly off topic everyday i think of how fucking horrific it mustve been for joe to come into work one morning and his best friend just has a phone for a head and extreme memory issues now . literally what the fuck. thats so fucked up

to do a tonal 180... if she was a pokemon trainer shed have a herdier or stoutland as a sort of service dog for walking shorter-medium distances when she rlly doesnt feel like whipping out the cane :.-)

shes so pale its actually ridiculous. bro looks like she hasnt seen the sun in 5 years ... jake pokes a bit of fun for it sometimes

thanks for asking, anon! i love getting excuses to talk about dsaf. i have a lot of thoughts, you know... dont ever friend me on discord my ass will randomly drop either the goofiest or angstiest headcanons at random intervals and i have no real control over whichor when it will be

[ihopesocomic]

THERE'S SO MUCH I WANNA SAY ABOUT THE NEW CHAPTER BUT..

THE POSE IN THE LAST PANEL, JUST LIKE CLEVER, THE MIRRORING?????????????????

Also I like how despite Edge's manipulative speech he DOES see potential in Hopeful. And yes Jasper's a fool :D. Granted, good thing she didn't get swayed, but I like that you seem to have stuck with that with him from what you've previously said on the blog regarding how he'd see her. Let's see how he'll react to her being mentally strong as well. (Honestly I am on the edge (lol) of my seat to know what happens next.)

God and this is such a good debut to Edge's pride. It's so uncanny to see how "different" he looks when he's smiling and all dad-like like that even when talking like some professional business, since his pride might as well be in a way, like a white-furred Simba compared to his first appearance (and obviously the fact that he's evil and not above killing others *Still sobbing over Quiet amd Clever and now whatever emotions Adamant is going through rn aaaaa* and might as well be the equivalent to a Lion mafia boss, but still, it's weird in a good way and you nailed it). I almost wanna punch that face lol. But y'all have certainly made him charming in this chapter, Imma make it a double punch with both fists in that case. You have officially made him more likable for me than he already has been, I'll always appreciate when Word of God turns into canon. Like... god I hate him but I love him already now too as a character just from this chapter, why'd y'all do this to me? xD

And omg I love Bright already, she's so childish it's honestly kinda cute even if it's to the point of immaturity. I had such a different image of her before this but now... now she seems like she'll be a fun character to see play out in the comic and is so fricking precious. I need more of her now. I wanna see how bad she can be too. Evil(?) lesbians are so damn fun to write because I've done it before because my friend's was the same simple archetype (ofc that wasn't all to it but, it's the jist) hah.

Fade... aaaaaa, others have said more about him than I can but aaaaa. The way he looked at Hopeful, what's on his mind? Hope doesn't know her lil' sis was originally gonna be wedded off to him certainly, that must be so awkward now that I think about it. He don't like this scenario one bit. Though saying anything while Edge is talking might as well be like going into the bosses/principles/etc. office knowing they're your parent at the same time and it just makes things even more unpleasant than they already are.

This got long oops sorry..

ALSO STORM???? WHERE THE FUCK ARE YA? DEFINITELY ALIVE BECAUSE YOU NEED TO BE IN THIS STORY FOREVER BUT GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE AAAAAA.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT BEING LONG, it takes me a billion years to read, but its a fun billion years LOL

YES I'm so happy people liked Hope mirroring Clever haha it was a great idea presented by RJ.

Edge, while he did horrible things, does present a good case to Hope. Despite her experiences with her father and mother, she wants a pride, like many lions do, and he was able to lean into that.

And yea drawing him smiling and fatherlike was difficult, especially because I wanted to make him more vain with his expressions /but that wouldn't work/ because he's being completely honest here LOL He's not trying to trick Hope. He means what he's saying, and a villain that keeps their promises is pretty scary in my opinion. I wish I could've had Vanish and co do more, but they'll be doing more next time.

Once again I'm thrilled Bright made an impression on people. I like writing evil? lesbians too LOL Its so much fun. She is quite immature, but that'll present itself more later. I can't wait to show more of her.

And yea Fade is stuck in a hard place because his dad is actually good to him, but he's definitely hearing and seeing some things he didn't sign up for. He'll need to discuss a change in his contract.

AND STORM CAN'T COME TO THE PHONE RIGHT NOW, TRY AGAIN LATER!!

Thank you so much for your notes, I absolutely loved it LOL - Cat

[x1e3ju]

some shuake headcanons i wrote last night out of drawing withdrawals since last night was sunday and i had to unfortunately stop to sleep for school the next day (i slept at 1 almost 2 am)

i think abt them soo often like unhealthily often (yk. the adhd) i love thinking abt their intimate moments and js them in general and how their neurodivergency really affects their relationship, not negatively but js in general. i love to think abt how they support each other, unembarrassedly (?) bc again (like how i stated somewhere in those paragraphs lol) they know they are the only ones who can bc they both need their own accommodations and all, yk how the neurodivergent experience is if ur here i imagine. but anywho, i rly love to think abt them being intimate, in a nonsexual way. More sensual in their case than anything else bc i think whenever they would be intimate like that around each other, its more out of calming than actual sex. also cuz they are practically minors (reminder for twitter!) and also bc its a bit of projection from my side hehe love is just so much more complex and beautiful with also neurodivergent folk within the community. i also like to think abt them as if they were t4t and how much they could reassure each other in their genders which again, is so beautiful bc its really rare to find. i dont think they’d be very lovey dovey, i think akechi would have a hard time coming to terms with that idea like the idea of a romantic relationship and i think akira would have issues breaking from the comphet he wouldve developed as a child, the idea us females are forced to have towards a relationship, the idea that u can never escape sexism resulting in invalidating his trans idea, basically a naoto. (what atlus did when they thought they were being smart pretty much) and all that rly js means a lot to me bc u dont get the choice to headcanon such personal things onto many ships where it feels like it could genuinely make sense very often, even if most of this nuiance is literal projection and js made up, again it feels like it isnt and ughugjguh i love it!!! shuake my fucking sillies i need to post headcanons like this more often bc it js clouds the brain too much and i must release it lolol (sorry this rant was boring im in school rn :/)

[corvidae-corvus]

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

My mind wants to be loud I want noise I want distraction and noise and it's way too quiet in my mind right now it's sickening. I don't even want to comprehend the words in my head I just want to scream. I want to scream in my head just aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh but like lowercase or uppercase?? More like a shrill AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

My ears aren't hurting but they are aching and not acheing to screeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaammmmmm

I want to watch a video on YouTube and focus all of my attention on it with some earphones and stuff. But I also don't want to I want to draw and read something or listen to music at the same time and comprehend both.

But it's night time and I need to sleep but I don't want to!

I'm feeling better. The urge to feel.

My head is empty now I only hear my thoughts and I'm writing my thoughts down and it's so empty in my head but I want to listen to my thoughts but I also don't want to. This is so weird like wtf is this experience.

Like it's soooo weird. Is this ADHD? I have no idea like what. Like I'm going crazy. Ok that's an exaggeration but still. Like what is this feeling?

Will listening to music help? Or putting on a video maybe I don't want to comprehend anything I just want to hear something I need to fill my head with thoughts or silence without my thoughts or noise without my thoughts?

I feel underwhelmed? I feel overwhelmed by the underwhelming? Or the opposite?

I'm feeling much better now.

I have so many ideas in my head and I'm paralyzed by all the things I wanna do and all the choices I want to make and all the paranoia I'm fucking paranoid holy shit I'm a paranoid person.

Listening to music I feel a little better maybe I should just listen to music. But I also want to draw. Putting the volume all the way up bro I might actually go death lmao.

So do I have ADHD cause I've been thinking about it for well over a year now and I'm not sure and like wtf happened to me right there like I was fine I was just feeling weird. Like I was just sitting in the same position typing on my phone this whole time. Like a shrimp 🦐 lmao.

Was that even ADHD? What if it's like my depression or anxiety or something. Like I only have a bit of social anxiety but idk I'm home and fine rn.

Well that was weird, just had to vent a bit lmao

Anyways....have a nice day 😃

[manie-sans-delire-x]

If you're doing the TMI ask thingy:

What are the three things you're looking to most rn?

And alsooo ik lately you are looking for a partner so what sort of a guy are you into and who are you looking for?

I'm pretty much open to TMI asks 24/7 lol

Hmm well earlier I realized how many good tv shows were coming out soon and got excited about that! Fallout tv show this month, Interview with the Vampire s2 in May, and Arcane s2 in Nov!! Ah!! Too bad Blue Eye Samurai s2 isn't coming out for like two years...cry cry.

Also, I write in pieces but some of it has finally shaped into a full first chapter!! I have a bit more to write, but I'm excited to soon have an actual chapter done.

Also looking forward to summer so I can wear my slutty little clothes, and I havent been clubbing for too long.

Honestly thats hard to say because every guy I've liked have all been quite different. And this is sad but its mostly been fictional characters, I've only ever had feelings for one real guy in my life, so I'm really not sure. Anyone who makes me actually feel emotions for him, thats the most important thing.

But if I had to say, I would say I like guys who are similar to me- who have a sad soul, are traumatized and mentally ill, have real life experience and have faced legitimate hardships, are on the serious side, deep thinkers, logical, intelligent, who arent afraid to speak their mind and go against the grain or have controversial opinions, who really think for themselves and are their own person. I wouldnt mind if they have anger issues and are aggressive or violent as long as they dont direct it at me or become toxic or irrational. I like men who are confident, self assured, and mentally mature, capable, tough. I like guys to be on the rougher side, even a little sadistic and dark. Masculine energy. Protective and possessive. Sexually dominant.

But then I can also like some guys who are kinda soft spoken and sweet, who I believe is a rare, truly good person, a better person than me, where I want to protect them instead. Im drawn to artists- whether thats drawing, writers, or musicians.

He has to have soul, depth. And intelligence and maturity. And physical attraction. Those are a must. Wit and good humor. Wisdom.

I dont really care about anything else though- I can accept a broke guy, an addict, a criminal, someone with severe mental illness or severe trauma, family issues. I can accept all that if I like him.

I don't like goofy guys, or guys with feminine vibes. I also dont like people who cant shut the fuck up.

But sexually, I do have my eye on this one guy, just to sleep with though, most likely not as a partner. He's tall, in good shape, good looking, has a skeleton hand tattoo, shaved head, and a tear drop tattoo (which is kinda like the male version of a tramp stamp dont you think hahah). He told me he's been to jail, which isn't surprising. Thats fine, as long as it wasnt against a woman or child. Like I said I do enjoy that rougher look.

[soup-scope]

i have a response

a read more your convenience

first of all, my man is so soft spoken and so polite.

from his tone of voice i pick up the vibes on how *excited* he is to discover another seer obscura in his lifetime. he *finally* has another person in his life who could possibly understand what it’s like to exist with his abilities. i can only barely imagine how terrifying it is to be a seer, but a seer obscura especially? they don’t *exist* in the time continuum that seers can witness. in any capacity. although something like that can be seen as freeing or uninhibiting. that is fucking terrifying to me. like the idea of being able to see ANYTHING and you just can’t see what happens to *you* specifically… that’s fucking scary. and just. you can hear how excited he is about meeting someone who can share that experience with him…. and yet he restrains himself for the sake of his listener. during his audios he is just so. calm and patient with the listeners apprehension with their abilities.

i’m also a massive lore girlie (gn) and morgan’s videos are a GOLDMINE filled with lore. we learn bits and pieces of how the department is structured, magical history, and potentially the creation of seers themselves might be revealed in his vids‼️‼️ the seer community seems to be its own direct and different branch of the magical community.

his listener is also somewhat developed already?? there’s just a lot we can infer from them/characterize on our own. they only reach out to the department for guidance after the inversion. like i’m so interested in their motives as to why they waited so long to reach out???? they hid themself as an illusory??? did they work in a magical-based job?? but also because of how open their character is it opens the door to so many weird/fun headcanons. like my starbucks manager seer obscura listener lol. (i think part of my morgan enjoyment stems from how much fun i had with my listener for him lmao)

i ADORE the idea of seer obscuras. there’s quite literally only like two (maybe more) in existence rn. they can hide themselves as different magical users and can’t be SEEN BY THE TIME STREAM. like they can make HUGE impacts on the future. morgan or his listener can potentially help with the close knit situation cause blake won’t be able to see them coming or make any direct action 👀👀

i simply adore how morgan interacted with his listener with zero expectations and just wanted to answer their questions patiently and politely and just get the chance to maybe see them in the future and/or maybe help them along the way

ik that morgan as a character is a plot device. he’s the character that’s used to drop shit loads of exposition without it being out of character. like vincent solaire isn’t gonna make out with lovely and then go into a long winded lecture about how seers were invented. morgan is an exposition machine to get plot spewed out at us. i recognize that but at the same time i love it. because i love lore and lore dumps

TLDR: he’s respectful and soft spoken (very nice on my ears) and i love all the lore he provides.

(also ps: everyone draws morgan looking super hot so that helps. especially @elisacaleisa ‘s design it’s SO GOOD)

I have an assignment for you @soup-scope

Why do you love Morgan? Can you give me a detailed explanation of what’s appealing about him? I genuinely don’t even understand, he puts me right to sleep everytime 😭

[cabinetduo]

ctubbo characterization master post

Ok so I was thinking abt ctubbo and characterization and how a lot of the fandom doesn't rlly have a solid grip on him (no shade its not on here mainly) whether it's bcs of lack of interest or exaggeration and like fandom lense or whatever (he tends to kinda get fucked ovr in ensemble fics) and then I thought well we talk abt scary nuke violence tubbo vs uwu beeboy or whatever but I was thinking there's definitely more to it then that bcs sometimes when I'm writing even I'm super insecure abt my portrayl of ctubbo so ig this post is kind of like a breakdown using some of my fav ctubbo things for me that could b useful 4 others as well

(This might b a little unorganized and like unprofessional-!!i will misspell and abbreviate a lot srry!!-but it's tumblr so who cares just don't expect too much cohesiveness I am writing this to get my thoughts out mostly

[DISCLAIMER!! most of this is my personal interpretation of ctubbo seeing as that's what ctubbo is mostly, what u interpret him as, but also its a bunch of notes and common traits that I got from awesome ctubbo fans and I'm mainly making it 2 help me :) < I'm not linking canon examples and evidence bcs I'm lazy and fuck that alsooo I'll mainly b focusing on ctubbo individually and not his relationships and such

ctubbos humor

I'm gnna start w ctubbos humor and irony and that kinda stuff. So like w ctubbo and characterization a lot of times ppl will take traits or speaking habits from the streamer and apply them to the character which is common in the general mcyt fandom but w ctubbo it's esp common bcs of cctubbos whole "ctubbo is just me but if I was put into certain situations" which we've kinda moved past seeing as that thought process worked better in the earlier seasons before ctubbo was morw cctubbo and less a result of his circumstances, his experiences, and ctubblings drawing lines between things << this isn't my main focus rn tho there is a huge distinction between cc and ctubbo

To get to the point ctubbo is a pretty serious dude but also he's not, there's a fun middle ground that I like where ctubbos humor has definitely become darker as he's aged bcs of his circumstances. One of the best examples I can thing of is this line from elegy in eleven bars by ssootsprite

^^this definitely portrays ctubbos humor well imo, the dark irony and humor that often stems from taht fact that ctubbo will sometimes jsut do what he finds funny but usually those take form on a smaller scale if we want an actual cohesive character

ctubbo swiss army knife

Ive made a handful of posts abt this but one bit abt ctubbo that is often missed is the fact that he's been dehumanized throughout his story which led to him internalizing it not seeing himself as a person entirely, more like a tool for others or a means to an end. I love love dsmp au fics but something some of them miss out on is ctubbos urge to serve others which stems into two branches that I call safety and self

When in a dangerous situation or around someone that he's deemed dangerous ctubbo will instinctively shift to politeness and servitude occasionally its his follower instinct<<this is bcs of manburg specifically cschlatt though it was really instilled to him by cdream after the whitehouse fight (where he called him a follower) and the disc saga finale (called him a sidekick). This happens sometimes in canon but enough times for it to be a full blown like, thing my fav explanation of this is augustus evergreen by thatweirdguyinthebushes on ao3

The second facet "self" is more deep, it's ctubbos actual beliefs, that he's not worth anything if he's not doing something or his tendency to work as a means of avoiding emotion. He doesn't see himself as a person or a child, often forcing himself into the roll of an adult to meet a goal of serving others (his nlm presidency) < this also comes from Manburg but can also be tied to my fav quote "a good kid and a better spy" (not gnna go too into ctubbos spy mentality bcs that's a whole other essay LOL) after being repeatedly handed jobs that are not meant for kids, responsibities much larger than him, he internalized all of it and tied it to his self worth and how he sees himself

Fav FAVVVV example is this poem and art

by @/yellogazello which gets the point across by whacking u ovr the head w emotion and some ctubbo aesthetics that rlly do well 4 his character -> also I made 2 web weaves on all ^^^this if ur interested also I've got a bunch of analysis on it in #smpanalysis bcs it's my fave ctubbo is kind of naturally a follower but this isn't always a complete negative (see: the way he comfortably follows Tommy or the way he and Tommy willingly followed Wilbur- it isn't always an 100% bad thing but over the course of his life it's kind of been tainted

ctubbo logic brain

Tubbo "logic braining" something =/= him thinking logically it's him and his fucked up process that filters things through his weird logic that would make any stable person worried, his brain does flips to rationalize his own and others thought processes to make them make sense to him, it's the same kind of thinking that is responsible for his "safe people" its the same kind of thinking that makes him blame himself for things that were clearly out of his control. While ctubbo is often seen as a more "brain lead" character, most, hell, all of his core motivations are emotional >> the need to protect his loved ones, his people, the innocent, to live upto expectations, and so on. This ties into his protective sort of paranoid nature that he displays toward his loved ones that is sometimes misconstrued as controlling

A lot of ^^^^^ this can be tied to ctubbos relationship w attachments and belongings which is one of the dsmps overall themes, ctubbos logic being that attachment is irrational and only leads to being hurt but forming attachments and getting hurt against his better judgment

ctubbo and the nukes

One thing that is often lost in surface level depictions of ctubbo is the nuke plot. This is often used to characterize ctubbo as violent or immoral (which I won't deny he can be at times) but one key detail about ctubbos nukes is that they were always a last resort, no matter what he threatened or said he never ever wanted to use them, constantly emphasizing how crazy it was that he had access to so much power and how terrified he was of misusing it in the missing nuke stream w jack. ctubbo has always always been a peaceseeking character. Like w most things abt ctubbo there's a nice middle ground, though tubbo leans less towards chaotic and more towards solemn, esp when at an emotional low

The nukes hold a lot of symbolism for ctubbo and are often presented as an antithesis to the bee symbolism used for him > the nukes being him becoming more violent and straying from what is deemed moral as a defense mechanism, becoming worse than your enemies (stay soft by mitski etc) and the bees representing his innocence and the loss of it (a common theme w ctubbo and on the dsmp in general) tying to the more nature-y imagery that become professional/political in late s1 & 2 which then became technologybased and cold in s3 & 4

ctubbos emotional intelligence

Another thing that a lot of people miss about ctubbo is that he has very veryy little emotional intelligence. Post-Michael kidnapping and arguably pre-Michael kidnapping there was this (mildly popular) notion that ctubbo was together emotionally to the point where there were a lot of misunderstandings surrounding his actions but the thing is he isn't. When it comes to himself ctubbo is aware that he is effected by his trauma (he will often make references to it) but he never does anything about it, he views it as irritational and tends to compartmentalize and repress his emotions which often leads to him hurting himself and others. ctubbos responses to emotion range from pure apathy to overwhelming him to the point of tears (which we've seen once w the anniversary stream) He's also not very good with recognizing the emotions of others, while he is good at reading people and their intentions (mainly people he has close relationships with) he is generally extremely blunt sometimes to the point of hurting other people's feelings on accident which he usually apologizes for immediately afterwards. In fact, ctubbos bluntness and politeness are a fun contrast to experiment with if you're interested

With all of ^^^this stuff dissonance by shrugofgod does a rlly good job of this I'm just putting a small snippet but the entire fic is incredible w sm details and ctubbo intricacies it's so good

ctubbo survival and tragedy

ctubbo has survived a lot especially in comparison to other characters he is close to << that was badly worded, what I mean is a lot of the people in ctubbos life have died/were dead/are dead and he just isn't. Tragedy is a large part of ctubbo, if something is going right for him it will inevitably go wrong, things like stability don't exist for him, he doesn't trust it and why should he? His paranoia has consistently been proven to be justified over and over again. Dramatic irony is such a huge part of him, he's experienced so much and has survived through so much but its like he can't die and he has to live everytime.

I made a webweave abt this that pust cqs firey survival next to ctubbos cold survival, I think i do a better job explaining in the notes of that

And this post which is the best thing I've ever posted is basically a bunch of super talent tubblings who've written poetry abt this topic (and other ctubbo stuff but mainly this) if u wnna check it out

Most of these things can be heavily elaborated on (nature of the dsmp is to have incredible fleshed out characters that feel human and awesome and that make u crazy) but this is kinda a summary and I have others posts that kind of do that I just wanted to put all this in one place

More stuff ⬇️

This post is a succinct and well put ctubbo explanation/summary and a fave

And this post is wondas god tier dsmp characterism breakdown that will save ur life if ur a writer

This post is a fic recs post that has a lot of epic awesome dsmp writers but a lot of them write ctubbo bcs I'm biased

And finally here's a link to tubbo3091<3333 which a roleplay blog that has the most perfect ctubbo characterization ever in the world

[grapesodatozier]

so close to the real thing (closer than you think)

rating: explicit

word count: 6.8k

summary: Eddie's been pining over Richie for as long as he can remember. He loves everything about Richie; especially how much Richie loves touching him. It's a little inconvenient, though. Eddie copes with his pent up sexual tension by constantly checking a porn blog he's obsessed with on tumblr. This guy has the same type of body as Richie, he talks like Richie, his name is even Richie! It makes it all too easy for Eddie to pretend it really is Richie while getting himself off to all of the blog's content.

You'll never guess what he finds out when he starts sexting this stranger named Richie from his anonymous porn blog.

tags: friends to lovers, porn with feelings, love confessions, dom/sub dynamics, bi dom top richie, gay sub bottom eddie, the most oblivious pining idiots in the world lol we love them

notes: this is one of my more ridiculous ideas but I had so much fun with it lol. also as a note you probably should not approach people on the internet the way they do in this fic, but they're just v enthusiastic and everything here is v consensual!! still tho definitely don't take this indulgent fic as a guide on how to approach real people online lmao. okay have fun!!

read on ao3 or below!!

notsfw under the cut

Eddie Kaspbrak’s friends were his entire world; time spent with them meant everything to him. But he also really valued his alone time. He’d always been the sort who needed time to just sit on a grassy hill and watch the trains go by, to catch up on comics in his room, to get lost in Netflix shows or even just his thoughts as he moseyed around his apartment—one he live in by himself, for when these moods hit. He needed time to himself to unwind. And sometimes he unwound by scrolling through some porn blogs on tumblr with his hand in his pants.

There was one blog that he was particularly fond of. There were other blogs more catered to his personal interests, namely blogs that didn’t feature women like this one did. But there was a good balance of genders represented, so Eddie figured he could just scroll past those posts. This guy was worth it. His pictures were ridiculously hot, and his dirty talk was even hotter.

Also, his name was Richie. Which Eddie refused to acknowledge as part of the draw.

It was harder to ignore tonight. He’d been out with the losers, and Richie had just been so touchy. And there was something about the way he'd been talking; his voice was lower than normal, slower in a way that made Eddie’s stomach flip. And his touches had lingered, his hand squeezing Eddie’s hip slow, then lazily brushing against his ass as he dropped it. Eddie could hardly take it. He brushed it off as Richie just being tired from work, but god, Eddie wanted it to mean more. The hardest part was hiding how much he wanted Richie to keep doing it.

There were so many things Eddie wanted Richie to do to him. He wanted Richie to touch him harder, to grab him by his hips with both hands. Richie’s hands were so big; Eddie just knew Richie could manhandle him so easily, so roughly. He wanted to know what it would feel like to have Richie’s hands all over him, grabbing at his ass and his thighs, holding his wrists down, making him feel so small. While Eddie would never admit it, huffing at every short joke Richie made, but he loved being shorter than Richie. He loved how safe he felt when Richie held him. And he was dying to know how small he would feel with Richie looming above him, or sitting in Richie’s lap, bouncing on his cock. He wanted to hear Richie talking to him in that low, slow voice, with that condescension Eddie did his best to pretend not to be affected by. He wanted Richie to whisper in his ear and call him all those pretty names he always dropped so casually, all those sweet ones and also ones that were a lot meaner. He wanted Richie to want him.

But it was easier to think about it than to ask for it. He knew Richie had way more experience than him. Well, okay, maybe not way more necessarily, but they were starting their third year of college, and he hadn’t wasted any time. Eddie, on the other hand, hadn’t done anything more than hand stuff with someone else. The guys he’d hooked up with were nice enough, and hot enough, but they just… weren’t Richie.

He supposed this guy on tumblr wasn’t Richie either, but at least he was everything else Eddie wanted. None of his hookups had been so, well, dominant, and that was this guy’s whole thing. He was dominant and a top and into guys that looked like Eddie. He even kind of talked like Richie, and he was apparently pining over his best friend, just like Eddie was. It had him completely smitten. Plus, internet-Richie’s crush had brown eyes like Eddie, and he ran track, just like Eddie did. Internet-Richie had posted once about his dick getting hard watching his friend at his track meet, and Eddie had come so hard that night, his track shorts around his ankles, imagining his Richie thinking those things about him.

Eddie was in bed now, in nothing but his boxers and one of Richie’s old shirts that had been Eddie’s for a while now. Still reeling from the way Richie had been acting that night, he logged into his porn account on his phone and scrolled through his dash for a grand total of thirty seconds before going immediately to internet-Richie’s blog. A thrill went through Eddie’s body when he saw that he had just posted. He’d written, “god my friends gonna fuckn kill me with that ass, i wanna plow him so bad” then reblogged it and added, “reminder that my asks and dms are always open if any pretty needy little subs need help getting off. please come be sluts in my messages.” Eddie’s breath caught in his throat when he saw that there was a picture, too, one of him gripping his hard cock, his boxers pulled down just enough for Eddie to see the dark hair around the base of his cock. Eddie moaned at the sight. His cock was so nice, so long and thick and pink. And fuck, his fingers. They were so long and slim, almost as nice as his-Richie’s.

Eddie scrolled a little farther down, his heart racing. There were a lot of reblogs, but some original posts here and there, things like, “what i wouldn’t do to have a pretty guy drooling all over my cock rn,” and, “in the mood to get someone dick drunk. wanna fuck a someone so hard they forget their own name.” One that made Eddie nearly choke said, “want someone i can pump my come into whenever i want, over and over again. want a sub i can keep full of my come all the fuckn time.” That post had Eddie getting out his lube.

It also had him thinking about internet-Richie’s most recent post, his post about his DMs being open.

Eddie bit his lip and thought about it. He’d sent internet-Richie some asks before from his porn blog (his blog didn’t have his name on it, just the teddy bear emoji, since he privately thought the teddy/Eddie rhyme was fun and clever, and also it was cute), and he’d seemed plenty happy enough to respond then. Still, it felt like a much bigger step to DM him, to talk to him just one on one. But the more he read his posts, the more he thought about his-Richie and how he’d touched Eddie that night, the easier it was to convince himself to shoot his shot with this stranger.

Eddie just messaged him a simple, “hi,” with a heart emoji. It was innocent enough, but his heart was still racing.

Internet-Richie responded a lot faster than Eddie was expecting. Honestly he hadn’t been expecting a response at all. But he said:

hiya cutie (; ive been hoping youd message me

Eddie flushed. He couldn’t help but hear cutie in his-Richie’s voice—especially given how often Richie used the nickname. really? he typed back.

fuck yes, ur cute little messages make me so hard. i can tell ur a pretty little thing just from the way you type

Eddie was blushing deep. Pretty little thing. That was hotter than it should’ve been. He wanted his Richie to talk to him like that, in that deep, sleepy voice.

there’s no way you can tell that from some messages :P, Eddie sent.

His heart stopped at the next messages internet-Richie sent.

oh, u dont think so?

why dont u send me some pics to prove me wrong (;

Oh my god, Eddie thought, his breath coming short. His head swam at the thought of sending this guy nudes, of showing himself off to someone who clearly wanted to see him, who would know how to take care of him and fuck him the way he liked, a guy with his crush’s fucking name and body type and hands. It had Eddie’s cock hard and leaking, and he slowly slid a finger inside of himself.

But just because the thought turned him on didn’t mean he was gonna send this stranger what he wanted so easily, even if he desperately wanted to.

you’d like that, wouldn’t you?

He fingered himself open as he waited for a response, working his way up to two fingers. It was nearly impossible to ignore his cock, but he didn’t want to come before the conversation even had a chance to start.

fuck ya i would, internet-Richie responded. Then, in a second message, whats wrong baby? you shy? ill show u mine ;)

Eddie's breath caught. God, this guy even made stupid shit sound hot, just like Eddie’s Richie. This was unreal.

i’ve seen yours, Eddie pointed out.

ya and you musta liked it if ur messaging me rn

Eddie bit his lip. ...maybe

aw thats cute sweetheart. u know i can see all the needy little tags you add when u reblog my stuff right?

Eddie blushed. He’d kind of always hoped he’d read them, but he never thought he actually did. i didn’t know you read those

oh ya, read them, jerk off to them. bit of a size queen, aren’t you? ;) it’s cute. makes me so fuckn hard when u talk abt how u want me to fill you up

Eddie whimpered out loud, sliding a third finger into himself. Fuck, he wanted that cock inside of him so bad. But right now one of his toys would have to do, once he was stretched out enough. He sped up his fingers, getting impatient. Gathering up all of his horny courage, he sent, show me.

what, no please? only good boys who use their manners get dick pics babydoll

Eddie pouted and whined to himself, making quick work of sliding his hot pink vibrator inside of himself—well, as quickly as he could without hurting himself. He moaned as it filled him up, making pleasure spread deep through his body. Slowly pumping it in and out, he reached for his phone. please, he typed, please let me see? wanna know what to picture while i fuck myself with my vibrator. He even added the wide eyed pouting emoji to really milk the whole begging thing. He knew he’d been playing a little coy, but now with the way internet-Richie was talking to him he was getting desperate.

well fuck baby since ur begging ;)

Eddie held his breath as he waited for the picture, slowly rocking his toy in and out, savoring the feeling. He wished it was Richie doing it, wished it was his cock. The lines between which Richie blurred; he wanted to get fucked by either of them, both of them.

What Eddie received when his phone lit up was not a picture, but a video. It was short, just a few seconds of Richie’s hand dragging wetly, smoothly over his cock, but it had Eddie drooling. The room was dark, so he’d used a flash, and it made the mix of what Eddie assumed was precome and spit glisten as the swollen head of Richie’s cock disappeared and reappeared from behind his fingers. Eddie must’ve played it at least five times, fucking himself a little faster, before remembering to say something back. And to take a video of his own. fuck, I want you so bad, want you to fucking ruin me, he wrote back. A part of him couldn’t believe how openly desperate he was being, but he found that he liked it; he liked the way it made him blush, he liked the way it felt to beg, to ask for what he wanted.

Richie’s response came fast: show me kitten. show me how you want me to fuck your pretty little ass.

Eddie moaned at the pet name; casual little nicknames were such a weakness for him. He was already so far gone, just picturing Richie’s cock inside of him, picturing him stroking his cock to thoughts of Eddie. The attention had his cock hard and leaking as he thrust his vibrator even deeper inside of himself, pumping it in and out a few more times before rolling over and getting on his hands and knees. It was hard to take a video from this angle, but he wanted to show off his ass and hide his face. Plus, there was something so hot about having his ass in the air and his face shoved in his pillow, looking like the perfect image of someone desperate to be fucked. He loved the way it made him feel, loved the thought of being so open for someone. For Richie.

He ended up shooting a short video as well, about ten seconds of him sliding his vibrator slowly in and out of himself, letting out soft little moans. He was pretty pleased with the way it turned out, his hole pink and smooth and wet as it stretched around his toy. The angle was a little weird, showing a lot of his room once or twice when his hand slipped a little, but overall he thought his ass looked amazing, if he did say so himself. He sent it and said, feels so good. do you want me to go faster?

As he sent it, he got settled on his back, forcing himself to go slow as he fucked himself while he waited for internet-Richie’s response. It was taking longer than before, and Eddie was getting antsy; it was so hard to drag it out, to not get ahead of himself. But whatever Richie was doing, Eddie knew it would be worth the wait. Still, he pouted as his cock ached, begging for attention.

He almost jumped out of his skin when he heard a knock at the door.

He groaned to himself and stayed put, fucking himself even slower as he waited for whoever it was to leave. But then the knocking continued, loud and incessant and obnoxious, and Eddie knew exactly who it was. He also knew he wasn’t going to go away any time soon, which honestly made him smile and blush. Richie had terrible timing, but Eddie would never be upset to see him.

Reluctantly, he slowly slid the toy out and pulled on his shorts, leaving his shirt off. He still had a pretty obvious boner, but his horny brain did not mind the idea of Richie seeing it. So he strode lazily down the hall, shouting a performatively annoyed, “I’m coming!” Finally, he opened the door, cocking his hip to the side and giving Richie an expectant look. “Can I help you?” he asked, a small smile dancing around the corner of his lips. He had to fight off a smirk at the wide eyed look Richie gave him as he ran his eyes over Eddie’s body.

“Fuck,” he muttered lowly, his eyes trained on Eddie’s cock, which was getting even harder the more Richie stared. Eddie bit his lip and grinned a little, making doe eyes at Richie. But Richie didn’t meet his gaze—instead he brushed past Eddie, his mouth still hanging open as he made his way urgently toward Eddie’s bedroom.

“Richie?” Eddie asked, a little let down that Richie’s hands weren’t all over him right now. But hey, if he was heading to Eddie’s bedroom he figured that was at least the right direction. He closed his front door and followed Richie into his room, where he found him staring at the bright pink vibrator on the bed. As confident and horny as Eddie was feeling, that still made him blush. He was only human. Crossing his arms, he said, bashful now, “I was kind of in the middle of something.”

Richie looked over at him, his cheeks bright red under his freckles. Then he got a glimmer of that trademark shit-eating grin on his face. “Eds, you fucking slut,” he said, sounding both delighted and breathless. “You are so fucking hot.”

Eddie flushed and tried not to squirm, but he couldn’t help but press his legs together, his eyes brightening. Fuck, was this actually happening? Shit, he needed to think of something witty to say. “You gonna do anything about it?” Okay, that kinda sounded like a corny porn, but he had to give himself credit for even being able to form words just after his lifelong crush and personal wet dream had just admitted his attraction to him.

“I think I already have been,” Richie said, still grinning.

Eddie cocked an eyebrow at him. He couldn’t help but smile back. “Oh yeah? How do you figure that?”

Eddie was expecting a confession. He was expecting something along the lines of you think I don’t notice how you look at me? or did you really think those were casual touches earlier? What he was not expecting was for Richie to unlock his phone and hold it up, showing Eddie the video he had just taken, the video he’d sent to internet-Richie.

Oh. Oh. Oh fuck.

“Oh my god, that’s you?” Eddie cried in disbelief.

“You’re telling me you didn’t recognize this dick?” Richie asked, swaggering over to Eddie, clearly enjoying himself.

“How did you recognize it was me?”

Richie nodded toward the Thundercats poster on Eddie’s wall, then to the model train that sat on his dresser. “What other guy has decor like that and the ass to match?”

Eddie grinned and shook his head. “That doesn’t even make sense.”

“Well pardon me for not being especially eloquent when I’ve just learned that the guy I’ve been masturbating to since I learned how to and been in love with for even longer has been masturbating to me too.”

Eddie’s eyes went wide, all thoughts of getting fucked leaving for a moment. “You’re in love with me?” he asked, his voice as soft as his smile.

Richie was not a bashful person, but the little laugh he let out just then was close to it. “Have been my whole life, but thanks for finally noticing.”

Eddie shook his head and stepped closer, until he had to crane his head up to meet Richie’s gaze. “I love you too.”

Richie’s eyes widened behind his thick frames. Eddie had only seen that look in Richie’s eyes a few times before, but he never wanted to lose sight of it again. He always wanted Richie to look at him like that. But then Richie was closing his eyes and leaning down. It only took Eddie a second to get with the program, drinking in the moment just a little longer before letting his own eyes fall shut as he pressed his lips against Richie’s.

It started gentle enough, if deep and passionate and intentional. But then Richie’s hands were on Eddie’s bare waist, skin against skin, and Eddie was gasping into Richie’s mouth, his hands coming up and resting against Richie’s chest. He curled his fingers into Richie’s shirt as Richie ran his tongue over Eddie’s lips, just before pulling away. He laughed at Eddie’s indignant little whine.

“Oh, you mean you don’t want me to take off my shirt right now?” he smirked as Eddie tried to pull him closer by the offending fabric. Huffing, Eddie conceded and let go long enough to let Richie pull the shirt off over his head.

“Oh,” he said softly, his voice a little, awed moan as he drank in Richie’s chest. It wasn’t like Richie had never been shirtless in front of Eddie before, but Eddie had never felt like he was allowed to really look at Richie all those times. But now he could; now he could touch. And he did, running his fingers over Richie’s smooth, warm skin, over his acne scars and blackheads and freckles. “Fuck, Richie,” he sighed before pressing his lips to Richie’s collarbones, trailing them all over Richie’s beautiful chest.

Richie gave a breathless, almost shy laugh as he stroked Eddie’s hair. “Damn, Eds, never pegged you as a tits guy.”

“Oh, fuck off,” Eddie giggled, bringing his lips back to Richie’s. They both smiled into it, getting lost for a moment as Richie’s hands slid slowly down Eddie’s sides. His hands lingered on Eddie’s hips for a moment before he slid them further down and grabbed at Eddie’s ass, making him gasp.

“Is that any way to talk to the guy who’s about to rail you ‘til you can’t walk?”

“What’re you gonna do about it?” Eddie asked with a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Spank me?”

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” Richie smirked. He gave Eddie’s ass a playful smack, making Eddie gasp again and fall into him, needing more. Richie’s voice was dripping with adoration as he purred, “Little brat,” and pulled Eddie against him, kissing him again. Eddie went with it easily and happily parted his lips to let Richie lick into his mouth. Richie had one hand gripping Eddie’s jaw and the other on his ass, touching him in a way that exuded a command Eddie was desperate to follow. God, Eddie knew Richie had big hands, but they felt huge on him like this. It was dizzyingly hot. And the way Richie’s tongue was teasing his had Eddie’s knees going weak. His dick was throbbing in his shorts, aching to finish what he’d started, what had been interrupted. When he thought about it all—about playing with himself for Richie, about the video Richie had sent him, about all those things Richie had said about filling Eddie up—he felt himself clench down on nothing, desperate to get fucked. Desperate to feel Richie’s cock so deep inside of him.

“Richie,” he whined into the kiss, pulling on Richie’s belt loops, “please.” He pressed himself urgently against Richie and rutted shamelessly against his thigh.

“Fuck, you’re a needy little thing, aren’t you?” His voice was cocky and teasing, but there was an apparent undercurrent of wonder there as well.

Eddie shoved his face into Richie’s neck and whined, grabbing onto Richie’s wrists without even knowing what his goal was. “Richie,” he whimpered, sounding pitiful and ruined already.

“What do you want, baby?” Richie’s voice made it clear that he was enjoying seeing Eddie this wrecked, and that just made Eddie even harder. “Come on, tell me, use your words.”

Eddie squirmed as Richie held him close, but still not touching him in any relieving way. “I need you inside,” Eddie said, his voice high and soft as he squirmed in Richie’s grip. “God, please, Richie, need you to fuck me. Fuck me so hard I can’t even think. Fuck me like I’m your little toy.”

Eddie could hardly believe the words coming out of his mouth, and judging by the gasp he heard Richie let out, he’d caught Richie off guard too. But if the hard bulge in his jeans that brushed up against Eddie was any indication, he was apparently just as turned on as Eddie was. Besides, Eddie knew from his blog that Richie was really into that sort of thing too—and, apparently, really into the idea of doing those things with Eddie. The realization that Richie had been saying all those filthy things about him had him grinding against him with even more fervor, kissing his neck with a heated confidence. Richie moaned, and Eddie could feel the warmth of it spreading through him. “Yeah, sweetheart? You want to feel me inside you? You think you’re ready for me?”

“Yes,” Eddie sighed, looking up at Richie with wide, desperate eyes. He shivered at the new look in Richie’s eyes, the blue nearly entirely eclipsed by how wide his pupils were. He looked hungry for Eddie; Eddie wanted to feel it. “‘M ready, Richie, please, so open for you.” He looked to the toy on his bed pointedly, but Richie only gave a deep laugh.

“Oh honey, that’s cute that you think that little thing is gonna have you ready for my cock.” Eddie’s breath caught; that toy wasn’t small. Before he could gather his scattered brain enough to react, Richie was scooping him up and tossing him on the bed, the toy falling forgotten to the floor. Richie moved Eddie onto his back, and Eddie went happily, pliantly. Richie’s fingers were cool against Eddie’s burning skin as he hooked his fingers into the waistband of Eddie’s shorts, slowly dragging them over his hips and down his legs, tossing them to the floor. Eddie’s cock was dripping with precome, his chest flushed a bright red as he squirmed under Richie’s gaze. Eddie been dreaming of Richie manhandling him like this for he didn’t even know how long; he couldn’t help the way he reacted. And he especially couldn’t help the pleased little sound he made when Richie murmured, “God, you’re gorgeous, Eds.” Then Richie was grabbing him by the ankles, gently but firmly spreading Eddie’s legs, and Eddie let out the most pathetic, genuine moan he’d ever heard. “Fuck, baby, you sound pretty. You like when I spread you open?” Richie asked. He was smirking down at Eddie, but Eddie could see how flushed he was, could see the thrilled awe in his dark, hungry eyes as Eddie nodded.

“Richie, please,” Eddie whimpered. “I need you so bad.” He sat up, reaching for Richie’s belt, but Richie easily pressed him back against the mattress with a large hand on the center of his chest. The confidence in Richie’s dominance took Eddie’s breath away, and he stayed right where he was, nice and obedient, as he watched Richie get off the bed and slowly undo his belt, then his button and zipper. He took his time dragging his jeans and boxers off, enough time to let Eddie’s eyes linger on the reveal of the dark hair under Richie’s waistband. Then Richie’s cock was bouncing up against his stomach, hard and flushed and fucking long. Eddie moaned at the sight and fisted the sheets underneath him. He wanted so badly to get his mouth on Richie, to breathe him in and be nice and good for Richie on his knees. But he was also desperate to get fucked; his hole clenched down on nothing at the thought, and then it was all he could think about again. “Richie,” he repeated, whining now as he reached for him. “Stop being such a tease.”

Richie laughed as he moved easily out of Eddie’s grip and climbed on top of him. Eddie gasped softly at the sight of Richie above him, his dark curls surrounding his face, his full, pink lips pulled into the most beautiful smile Eddie had ever seen in his life. He ran his hands over Richie’s chest and sides, marveling at the fact that this was really happening. Then, his eyes flickering down, he tentatively brought his hand to Richie’s cock.

“Oh, fuck,” they said, both at the same time, making them giggle together.

“Fuck, Eds, your pretty little hand looks so cute wrapped around my cock,” Richie teased in a low, rough voice. Eddie shivered; he couldn’t tell if Richie was praising him or degrading him, but either way it made his head fuzzy.

“‘M not that little,” Eddie grumbled out of habit. But he was clearly breathless. He’d never been good at pretending not to like Richie’s compliments, however teasing.

“Aw, but you are, baby,” Richie cooed, nuzzling his nose against Eddie’s and pressing a lingering kiss to his lips. “You’re so cute and tiny for me. I don’t even know if we’ll be able to fit my cock inside you.”

“I can,” Eddie whined, both indignant and impatient. He bucked his hips up, but Richie held him down. He gasped when he felt the warm, soft skin of Richie’s cock press against his stomach. Looking down, he saw that Richie had his cock lying on Eddie’s stomach, showing just how deep he would be once he was inside Eddie.

“You sure about that, babydoll?” While the teasing note was still there, Richie’s voice got noticeably softer as he said, “I don’t wanna hurt you.”

Eddie’s chest swelled at that. Cupping Richie’s face in his hands, he insisted, “I can take it.” Then he reached down and took Richie in his hand, glowing with pride when Richie let out a low moan. “Richie, please, I want you so bad.”

“Okay, baby,” Richie agreed, turning his head to kiss Eddie’s palm. “Fuck, I want you, too.” But he stalled. “Have you ever… like, been fucked before?”

Eddie flushed. “Well, not by someone else, but I have some toys. I’m not gonna break, Richie.” He huffed, but the way Richie was looking at him soothed any ruffled feathers.

“I’m your first?” His smile was soft, and while his eyes glittered, there was nothing teasing about his tone.

“I didn’t wanna do it with anyone else,” Eddie mumbled. He tried to look away, but Richie pulled him into a kiss.

“Fuck, I never thought you’d want me,” he chuckled. “Sorry, that was depressing, I just mean I can’t believe we didn’t do this sooner, you know?”

Eddie beamed, a small, giddy giggle dancing on his lips. “Well it’ll happen sooner if you stop talking so much.” But his smile, and all of the little kisses he planted on Richie’s freckled shoulders told Richie that Eddie never wanted him to stop talking.

“Alright, alright, sheesh, I know I’m hot but you don’t gotta rush me.” Eddie was still giggling when Richie kissed him, and he could feel that Richie was smiling too. “Where’s your lube?”

Eddie stretched his hand out and patted the bed for a moment, searching. After what was probably only four seconds but felt like an eternity, he finally found the bottle and handed it eagerly to Richie. “Oh, right,” Richie smirked, “you’re already wet for me, aren’t you?” Eddie moaned as Richie swiped his fingers over Eddie’s slick hole, pressing in just a bit. His fingers went in easily, and he pumped them slowly, drawing little, breathy moans out of Eddie. Richie’s fingers were a lot longer and thicker than his own, and they felt amazing, but they weren’t what he wanted in that moment.

“Richie, fuck me,” he whined.

“Aw, no please? Again?” Richie tsked and shook his head, curling his fingers against Eddie’s prostate, making him cry out. “I told you, sweetheart, only good boys who use their manners get fucked.”

“Please,” Eddie cried. He rocked his hips and grabbed at Richie’s shoulders, at his arms, not even sure what his goal was there other than to get Richie closer, to get his attention, to show him how desperate he was. “Please fuck me, please.” He sounded pathetic begging like this, but that just made him harder. And it made Richie’s pupils even wider as he slid his fingers out of Eddie and pressed a kiss to his lips.

“Good boy,” he purred. Eddie moaned and arched into Richie’s touch, but he only gave Eddie one more kiss on his cheek before pulling back and covering his cock in lube. Eddie watched, entranced, as Richie’s hand moved smoothly over his cock, glistening and slick. Then Richie was gently spreading Eddie’s legs even further and pressing the head of his cock against Eddie’s hole.

“Yes,” Eddie whimpered brokenly, grasping at the sheets beneath him. “Richie, please.” Meeting his gaze, he said softly, “I need you.”

“I’ve got you,” Richie assured him in a voice that made Eddie feel like he was glowing. Richie took Eddie’s hand in his and entwined their fingers, using his other hand to guide his cock inside of Eddie, who gasped at the feeling. God, he couldn’t believe this was happening. He couldn’t believe his first time was going to be with his favorite person. He couldn’t believe he was finally getting exactly what he wanted. Love flooded through him, warm and perfect, somehow both soothing and electrifying as he watched Richie’s face. Eddie’s mouth dropped as Richie pressed into him, deeper and deeper and still fucking deeper, until finally Richie let out a low moan and Eddie felt absolutely breathless. The stretch was intense, and he held onto Richie tightly as he caught his breath. “Are you alright?” Richie asked. His voice was strained, but the care and concern in it was clear. “You don’t have to take all of it if it’s too much.”

Eddie wanted to laugh at the remark or roll his eyes, but with how breathless and dizzied by pleasure he already was, he had to admit Richie had a point. “Just need a minute,” he gasped. Richie ran a soothing hand over Eddie’s skin, helping him even out his breathing and relax. The feeling of Richie’s cock twitching in anticipation inside of him had him letting out little moans as he adjusted, getting more and more used to the feeling until he felt comfortable enough to tell Richie he could move. Richie kissed him before he did, his lips soft against Eddie’s, a reassuring weight. Eddie breathed in sharply as Richie pulled back, grabbing at Richie’s shoulders.

Richie immediately stopped. “You okay, baby?” he asked, caressing Eddie’s face.

Eddie wanted to melt. Richie was always touching him, always jokingly flirting with him, but this unabashed concern and, well, love had previously been reserved for dire situations, like panic attacks or injuries. Eddie couldn’t help the dopey smile that bloomed on his face as he tilted his chin up and kissed Richie. “I’m okay,” he said breathlessly. “It’s just a little different from my vibrator.” They both gave a shaky laugh as Richie nuzzled his nose against Eddie’s.

“Better, I hope?” he grinned.

“Can’t tell yet,” Eddie retorted. Another snarky comment was on the tip of his tongue when Richie pulled his hips further back, effectively sucking all the air—and attitude—from Eddie’s chest. And then Richie was pushing back in, and Eddie let out a moan he couldn’t have faked if he tried, relaxing back into the mattress as his eyes fell shut. It was the best thing he’d ever felt, pleasure and relief flooding through his body. They’d been building up this tension for years; Eddie had figured it would feel good to break it, but it really felt magical, like something had just clicked into place. Feeling Richie inside of him, rocking his hips carefully, feeling Richie twitch as he tried not to lose control had Eddie’s head reeling. Eddie’s eyes fluttered open, focusing on Richie above him, on how flushed his face was. When Richie met his eye, pressing in deep, Eddie let out a small, “Fuck.”

“Yeah? Does that feel good, sweetheart?”

Richie was smirking as he said it, but there was something else sparkling in his eyes. Something giddy and awed. Something that made Eddie sigh dreamily, “I love you.”

Richie’s eyes widened for a moment before he pressed his lips firmly against Eddie’s, his hands roaming over Eddie’s body like he couldn’t choose where to put them, where to touch him. “I love you so much,” he beamed, pressing a few more kisses to Eddie’s cheeks. Eddie giggled at the feeling, but then Richie’s hips moved just a little faster, pressing him in just a little deeper, and he was back to melting under Richie’s touch, clinging to him as he rocked his hips with Richie’s. “Fuck, you’re so amazing, baby, so fucking beautiful. You look so good like this, holy shit.”

Eddie smiled almost drunkenly at Richie’s ability to ramble even when blowing Eddie’s mind. “Feels so good,” he moaned, his voice breathy and just a little bit higher than normal. He wrapped his legs around Richie’s waist. “Please, Richie, please.”

“Fuck, baby, wanna make you feel like this all the fucking time,” Richie groaned as he picked up the pace. Eddie whined in pleasure at the change, and that just spurred Richie to go faster, harder, until he was well and truly fucking Eddie, both of them moaning with every thrust.

“Oh my god,” Eddie cried, “ohmygodohmygodhmygod, oh fuck, Richie, please.” It felt so amazing, Richie fucking into him like this, but he needed that little bit more. His cock was throbbing desperately, achingly hard; he needed to feel Richie’s hand on him. “Richie, please,” he whimpered, “please, please touch me. I need you, I need you so bad, please, Richie.” Eddie was pouting now, grabbing aimlessly at Richie, his legs still wrapped tight around him.

“Fuck, you’re so hard for me,” Richie marveled, his voice sweet and condescending as he wrapped his hand around Eddie’s cock. Eddie nearly screamed at the contact, his back arching off the bed. Richie laughed a little, which just made Eddie even harder. The way Richie spread his precome over his cock, twisting his wrist just so as he stroked him had that familiar tension coiling in his lower stomach. “Aw, does that feel good? You gonna come on my cock, kitten?”

“Fuck, yes!” Eddie screamed. He gripped at the sheets as Richie stroked him, his voice washing over Eddie, mixing with the pleasure of Richie’s touch, of his thrusts. “Yes, yes, yes, please let me come, please, please, please.”

“That’s a good boy,” Richie purred, and Eddie could feel himself tipping over the edge at the words, at how low and affected Richie’s voice was. He groaned out, “Come on my cock like a good boy, princess,” and pure pleasure crashed over Eddie like a wave. He arched his back and cried out as he came, his moans filling the room as he squirmed under Richie, grabbed at him, at the sheets. It was fucking ethereal. He felt somehow so in tune with his body and yet so detached, like he was floating. He was barely cognizant of what Richie was saying, but when he put the sounds together and realized Richie had just said, panting, “Fuck, baby, gonna come,” Eddie felt like a live wire again.

“In me,” he said urgently. His mind was still a little too scattered for full sentences, but he knew what he wanted. God, he felt like he needed it. Like he needed to feel that connected to Richie. “Richie, come inside me, please.”

Richie apparently didn’t need to be told twice; he let out a moaned, “Oh, fuck,” before burying his face in Eddie’s neck, his breathy moans like music in Eddie’s ear. And then, as Eddie was coming down from his own high, he felt the holiest thing in the world: Richie’s cock, twitching inside of him, then his warm come filling Eddie up. It was unreal, being this close to him. Richie clutching at him as he came. It was even better than the little fantasies Eddie occasionally allowed himself. Richie was here, in his arms, pressing kisses to his neck as he caught his breath. Eddie was stroking his hair and rubbing his back as Richie nuzzled into him. Richie’s skin pressed against his skin, his legs wrapped around Richie’s waist, then falling to his sides, but still pressed to him. Still keeping him close. There wasn’t a single thought in his head that wasn’t about Richie.

Richie pulled him from his dreamy haze with light kisses pressed up his jaw, then over his cheeks. Eddie giggled at the onslaught of affection, still reeling from how fucking hot and euphoric what they had just done together had been. But he happily accepted Richie’s kisses, his heart bursting, then racing as Richie pulled back to look in his eyes. “Holy, fuck,” Richie beamed, his face flushed and blue eyes hooded from the weight of his orgasm, even as they sparkled.

“I know,” Eddie said, returning Richie’s grin as he basked in the surreality of having Richie on top of him, his dorky yet charming smile framed by lips that were red and swollen because of Eddie. His glasses were knocked askew, and Eddie instinctively reached up to fix them. With a sense of wonder, he realized that his touch was allowed to linger this time. He ran his fingers down Richie’s cheekbones, over his jaw, cupped his cheeks. “I love you,” he said. The words spilled out over his lips like he couldn’t stand not to say them. And while it made his heart race a little to say it out loud now that the adrenaline and tension was all worked through, it felt even better this time when Richie’s face softened and he nuzzled his nose against Eddie’s.

“I love you so fucking much.” Richie’s voice rarely got that soft, that sincere; it felt like a blanket wrapping around Eddie. It felt safe, secure. It felt like a promise. And if there was anyone in the world Eddie knew he could trust, it was Richie. That feeling of everything coming together came back to Eddie as he lay there under Richie, their lips moving together, feeling light as a feather now that everything was finally out in the open.