#and I was reluctant to get into it because he has none of the context you need to understand it so I knew it’d be a long ass explanation

[for-hunger]

For me, the most interesting difference between IWTV the book and IWTV the show is that Anne Rice's vampires don’t have sex.

Anne Rice's vampire world is actually a lot bleaker and less human than AMC's because of this.

For book vampires, killing replaces all pleasures - food, love, companionship - but primarily the 1:1 exchange is sex. Louis famously makes this connection when Claudia asks him what sex was like and he calls it "the pale shadow of killing"- even if vampires could have sex, it wouldn't compare to the pleasure of the kill. The detailed descriptions of vampire feeding are directly sexual. For example, take Lestat feeding on a young boy:

The language that Rice uses to describe the vampires' hunting behaviors also recalls sexual patterns. Claudia and Lestat are described as "seducers" of mortals who enjoy affairs- wining and dining their prey, enjoying both their talents and their suffering. Louis seeks something more like a series of self-hating lapsed-Catholic one-night stands:

This difference is most interesting when it comes to Louis's existential crisis. In the show, Louis deals with his evil through "vegetarianism," i.e. abstaining from killing humans. For AMC's vampires, killing is a (highly enjoyable, sensual, occasionally sexual) means to an end- the end being blood and therefore survival. Louis may be deeply uncomfortable, psychically and physically, but there are other things he's living for: his business, his family, his daughter, sex and romance with Lestat.

But in the book, vegetarianism is impossible in the long term.

Just before Claudia's turning, book Louis has been vegetarian for 4 years, and his existential crisis is at its peak. Lestat tries to get through to him about his reluctance to kill:

Lestat seduces him in a romantic and striking speech about how "evil is a point of view" and they are "dark angels"; "no creatures under God are as we are, none so like Him as ourselves." And unlike in the show, Book Louis listens to him, because his life has become unlivable. He realizes that killing is "everything," because "there is nothing else"- no sex, no food, no companionship - or at least, nothing that at all compares in meaning. Other pleasures are only "the pale shadow of killing," as Louis says.

Killing for Louis (and the rest of Anne Rice's vampires) not only sates physical hunger. It is the (only) cure for existential despair. In stark contrast to Show Louis, Book Louis gives up vegetarianism after Lestat's speech, adopting a more vampiric attitude, and never returns to it:

The show engages with the larger themes and dynamics surrounding Louis's reluctance to kill that the book pointedly ignores - mainly the active evils of racism and homophobia. It masterfully weaves Louis's internalized homophobia in with his disgust for his own evil. It shows the limits of the vampires' power over the world in that no one can kill their way out of Jim Crow.

The choice to deemphasize the sexualized pleasure of killing makes sense in this context. I don't think either of these themes would make as much of an impact if Louis couldn't have meaningful gay sex and interracial romances the way he does. But it certainly makes for a different world. Anne Rice's vampires are isolated existentially, cut off from any of the satisfactions of the human world, and this makes them selfish and remote, even from each other. Sadism in all forms becomes the prevailing pleasure, the prevailing dynamic of interaction- when Claudia seeks to hurt Louis, she compares their arguments to sex, saying "hurting you as I do now... that is also the pale shadow of killing." (207) I'm curious to see how and if this plays out in the rest of the books.

(Disclaimer that I haven't read any of the books except Interview with the Vampire)

[timeofjuly]

I was persuaded into explaining what the omegaverse is to my boyfriend a few weeks back, tell me why we were just doing a crossword with the clue ‘one might be slippery’ and his IMMEDIATE response was to blurt out “an omega!”, thank you nyt for your crossword clues

[lunamond]

The disproportionate hate show!Criston gets is so bizarre. No argument I’ve seen his haters make sofar has made any sense to me.

He is outside of Mysaria the only siginficant lowborn character we meet. He rises up from the son of a steward of a minor house to the position of King‘s Guard thanks to Rhaenyra, who then pressures him into having sex with her, sth that could get him executed. Afterwards she not just rejects his proposal, but laughs in his face.

And when as a result of this experience Criston is shown to be emotional distraught and bitter, people call him an incel? (I assume that they refer to his ideology and not his actual status as a celibate, because not being celibate is literally what started this mess)

It really rubs me the wrong way, when people remove all context from this situation. A lower class person getting a well-off position from a person with authority, who they then end up having sex with is ALWAYS a relationship with a power imbalance (Obviously there are irl relationships like this, who work out and manage to be relatively healthy, but that doesn‘t remove the imbalance of power and the increased likelyhood of abuse).

We see Criston‘s reluctance when Rhaenyra makes her move. It does not matter if Criston was attracted to her or not. The simple fact that he is in a vunerable position makes him denying her a risk. It also does not matter that Rhaenyra had no malicious intentions, the simple fact that she ignores Criston‘s refusal and continues pressuring make this whole scene super uncomfortable. Her ignorance and naivety does not erase the impact of her actions.

Criston growing to hate her afterwards is perfectly justified.

As a man who grew up in Westerosi society, he inevitably holds misogynist beliefs, which is reflected in the insults he uses after this. But compared to the acts of every single character on this show, singling out his character is pretty ludicrous, when we have plenty of male (and female) characters who have done worse:

Like commiting SA (Viserys, Aegon), grooming young girls (Viserys again! I really hate this man, Daemon, Otto, Corlys and Rhaenys because telling your daughter she has to sleep with a grown man when she is 14 is pretty much the same thing Otto does to Alicent) and the only major crime Criston is guilty of sofar: murder (Daemon killed his wife and the servant in Driftmark, also he did large scale police violence which people love to forget about, Rhaenys killed potentially hundreds of smallfolk at the coronation)

Obviously, anybody is allowed to dislike whatever character they want, but a lot of people flatten Criston into just a misogynistic bitter incel who is just mad that Rhaenyra has sex, ignoring every bit of context we get for his behaviour.

This becomes escpecially weird, when those same people have no problem stanning Daemon, who calls his 1st wife a „bitch“, „uglier than sheep“ and then murders her, because he sees her as inferior as a none-valyrian. But Criston calling Rhaenyra, a person he feels personally wronged by, a „spoiled cunt“ is apparently a too far.

It is just really frustating when the character with the canonically lowest social standing gets afforded the least amount of nuance by the fandom (the writers are obvs not excempt from this criticism either).

[eternallyseverus]

!YOUNG Severus Snape x y/n | Drunk People do not lie

COFFEE | On AO3 here - 1595 words

Summary: Severus and you became best friends and feelings start to develop but none of you dares to say anything, not sure about your own feelings but everything is cleared out once the two of you end drunk in a Slytherin party.

A/N: I am not a native English speaker so I am sorry for any spelling mistake and if my first smut scene is too bad :D. I tried my best! Also I am not 100% happy with this one. It is intended to be a two chapters story but I am not sure if you guys will like it. :] Maybe the beginning is a bit slow because I ALWAYS HAVE THE NEED TO GIVE A CONTEXT AND A DEVELOPMENT.

Triggers/Warnings: Y/N is a she probably using female pronouns. Both are of age. Mentions of bully. Alcohol involved and hint of sex / intimacy. I think I am not forgetting anything else. :] ---------------------------------------------------- Severus and you have been inseparable since at the beginning of the seventh year he was paired with you in a potion project but it was hard, extremely hard for you to get closer to him and to be able to call each other best friends.

It was obvious why he was reluctant to let you in. People would mock him, bully him and life taught him nothing but to be defensive towards everyone and every moment in his life so the moment you started to show him kindness (since the very first minute you were paired with him for that project) he taught that it was because you needed to get a good grade so it was convenient for you to treat him like that.

But it wasn’t like that.

You heard a couple of rumors about him which you dismissed because luckily you grew up with the mindset of judging the people yourself with their actions not with the words other random people had about them.

You only found him a bit cold and grumpy but you thought that it was something normal because people are different so it might not be in his nature to be a warm person. But you were wrong about that.

The day you found him being teased in the Great Hall by the marauders, the way others laughed and didn’t do anything made your blood boil and you quickly got in the middle of their actions, threatening the entire group and not hesitating to take out your wand to duel them if needed. All of those weeks made you grow fond of Severus, of how intelligent, quiet, respectful he was. How hardworking as well and every time he looked at you, you were starting to see a hint of his kindness and some softness that was covered by layers of… something that you couldn’t quite decipher until that precise moment.

During that night the two of you went to the Astronomy Tower and he thanked you for your kindness and he broke in front of you, crying in your arms and telling you everything that he has been going through.

And you listened without interrupting him, only offering your warmth, your gentle strokes to his long hair and your shoulder so he could cry on.

Severus knew that you perhaps were different, not judging him and not treating him differently after talking about his life, about his pain, about his trauma.

Through the following weeks the cold and short answers became longer and warmer ones, gaze exchanged through the library and you dropped your circle of friends to spend more time with him.

He became even more gentle in everything: with his words, with his actions and with his small touches in your arms and hands whenever the two of you talked, worked or studied together.

It was due to that that you started to feel uneasy because Severus started to be, sometimes, unexpected with his words towards you.

“You look pretty today” or some “I just saw this flower and it reminded me of you when you smile” or even a daily “I missed you” every time the two of you met.

You reciprocated his words each time with a timid blush in your cheeks that (you didn’t know) he extremely loved and you started to feel some tingling around your body.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------

Before Christmas Holidays arrived the Slytherin House decided to do an illegal party in a hidden part of the castle to celebrate the end of the year so obviously you had to go.

You begged him and with pouty lips and some kind words Severus had accepted to go with you knowing that no one would dare to say something to him if you were around.

So there you were with him. Surrounded by sweaty and drunk colleagues, alcohol floating around and loud music.

—------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Stop telling me these things” you said breathlessly, the loud music making it hard for Severus to understand you.

“Tell you what?!” he said a little bit too loud due to the extra cups of butterbeer, firewhiskey and wine plus the loud music was making it difficult to understand you.

“Stop telling me these things Sev” you said again sounding a little bit annoyed. Severus didn’t hear your tone but he completely knew when you would be annoyed due to the change in your body expression.

His hand went to cup your cheek and your body temperature rose way too fast for your liking. Severus was almost in auto pilot, his desires and feelings conducting his actions and all was thanks to the alcohol.

“Telling you what? That I enjoy being around you? That you look pretty today?” he repeated some of the things he has been telling you tonight and you just nodded slowly.

“Yes, all of that Sev” you confirmed to him, getting closer and both bodies extremely closer. It was needed so your mouth could go closer to his ear so he could hear you better.

“And why would I need to stop?” He replied back to you, his mouth also closer to your ear.

You didn’t realize but he had wrapped his left arm around your hip so both of you could be positioned better but the truth was that he desired for your warmth.

“Because you make me feel things, Sev” you replied a little bit too honestly, praying that you would not make him feel uncomfortable.

Severus blinked twice and looked at you and he placed his glass of firewhiskey on a table that was on his right side.

“What… things?” he ventured to ask. 

You gulped and started to speak again, slowly, trying to carefully pick your words and your hot breath tickling his neck and earlobe making him lose the left control he had in himself.

“You make me feel things, Sev. When you talk to me like this, When you hold my hand. When you look at me. I feel butterflies inside of me” you pointed at your stomach feeling silly “And make me yearn for your touch, and look good only for you” He was looking at your lips hearing everything you had to tell him. He only was able to say the last sentence

“Good only for me” 

“Yes, for you” you replied back, your mouth moving slowly towards him.

“And… only me” he moved his mouth as well, this time his lips brushing softly against yours. “What you are feeling, y/n, is love” he ventured to say in a bold move. Once again, thanks to the alcohol.

“Do you think so?” you replied back mimicking the soft brushes of his lips. 

“I do, because I do feel the same” and after that sentence he closed the gap and he gave you a clumsy kiss. Thin lips warm that tasted like a weird mix of alcohol but that made you have your eyes widened processing his confession and his kiss.

The music was loud and your heart was pounding, your thoughts racing trying to understand that he had the same symptoms as you do: love, desire, yearning to be touched.

Your hands wrapped around his waist and you kissed him feverishly, biting from time to time his bottom lip earning a soft moan from him.

People were glancing at the two of you, Severus kissing a girl and you kissing him. No one said anything, but it was obvious what they were thinking.

Your hand moved from his waist to unbutton his shirt and he grabbed your hand softly to stop you and then he shook his head.

“Not here, not now” he said breathlessly and pressed his forehead against you.

Your shoulders slumped thinking that maybe, just maybe, your advances were making him uncomfortable and that he didn’t like you more than to share some kisses.

“O okay Sev, I am s sorry” you stuttered, feeling shy. Maybe he was right, it was in the middle of a party but the two of you could move to the bathroom or an empty chamber?

“I am not rejecting you. I said not now and now here” he said a bit shyly and he intertwined his fingers with yours.

“You don’t deserve your first time with a drunk man, in a nasty bathroom or bedroom. You deserve it in a nice place where I can give you time and the sober kisses you deserve”

Severus didn’t know that these words and feelings existed inside of him. And he never thought that he had a chance to share this time of actions with someone else and more with someone who really liked that much. 

But it was the truth.

He didn’t want to give her drunk kisses, quick encounters in a nasty place in the middle of parties. Not, at least, in her first time. Even if it was his first as well he only priority was her and only her.

You nodded slowly and gave him a smile. Severus stood silently looking at you and you stood looking at him.

“Wanna go on a date with me?!”

“Perhaps we can have a… date?!”

The two of you laughed after asking each other at the same time for a date. Even in your drunken state you found him the most handsome man in the entire world.

No need to confirm that indeed the two of you would be accepting each other’s date but you simply kissed him once again enjoying the rest of the night and a couple of butterbeers more that earned a huge hangover the following day.

[sunbloomdew]

Love Confessions in the Baxter DLC

The sequel! Monochrome obsession continues. Part 2/3

Part 1 "The Wedding Confession"

Welcome, or hello again! I played the Baxter DLC a couple of times and I like it a lot, so I wanted to ramble about some of my favourite parts. Specifically about love confessions in Baxter’s version of Step 4, because they are all very well written and make me feel good :3

Reading the first part of this "series" isn't necessary, the introduction is just a bit more thorough in the first post. Furthermore if you've read the first part it might seem like i'm repeating myself with certain points, since those moments share some similarities and i like to be meticulous.

It is time for the second confession and the last one that can be initiated by the player. If you don’t confess here and pick an option in which MC expresses hope of Baxter returning their feelings, you will later reach the moment where Baxter asks MC out himself. This confession is my personal favourite, so prepare for me losing my mind over every single detail.

Spoilers for Baxter DLC!

The confessions all happen after the wedding ceremony, so if you hadn't played to this point yet, i recommend skipping this post (and maybe coming back later, if you wanna chat about them with me)! I may not bring up every single line, but i think this post still covers a good part of what happens.

I call this confession, The Morning Confession, because it takes place on the morning after the wedding! Simple name but it does the job.

There is also another reason for this name, but i'll get to it later.

The wedding is over and most stuff had been cleaned up. MC returns with Baxter to his apartment, after accepting his invitation to stay with him until they have to come back to their home. The two have finally reunited and they aren’t ready to part ways yet.

During that evening, MC and Baxter share a moment by the fireplace in the lobby of the building. I wanted to dedicate some time to this moment, because I think it’s a valuable context to the confession. And aside from providing insight into the mind of Baxter Ward, I love the way it’s written. So sue me, i wanna talk about it.

Despite the fact that they have reconciled, Baxter’s reasoning behind his actions still isn’t fully clear to MC. While being in the company of other people made the lingering unease between them bearable, it still remains. They can't act casually, as if nothing had happened, as if the years hadn’t been lost. So Baxter offers to clarify his point of view. “As sorry as I am, I don’t think I’ve been as open as I could have been” he says and well, that is the truth.

If the player chose to confess to Baxter before this conversation, this moment provides a deeper understanding of the character and explains his reluctance to accept the confession.

It is here by a fireplace – a fitting spot for another personal conversation, considering the duo's shared history – that Baxter reveals his innermost thoughts and fears. At his core, he believes he doesn’t contribute anything to any relationship, because he can't see his own value. And to him, if he doesn’t add anything, then he has no right to form and be in deep, mutually supportive relationships.

Baxter convinced himself that he doesn’t matter. That his only worth is in the entertainment he can provide or the help he can give. In his own words, he doesn’t know what it means to be significant to a person, just by being yourself. Which is why he doesn’t let people get close to him. He assumes that upon finding out that there is nothing more to him, they will leave. So it’s better to not let anybody get to know him, that way no one can be disappointed by his “true” self. He is unable to see that none of that is true because deep down, he thinks he is worthless as a person.

Those feelings about himself are something that have influenced Baxter’s decisions about relationships with other people, for example with Xavier. As the baker reveals later, they always felt that if Baxter had no reason to contact them again, he wouldn't. He kept himself away from others and believed that every connection he makes isn’t meant to last.

Still, Baxter wanted to create bonds with other people. And it terrified him.

He wanted to have that with MC, but he was too afraid to take that chance five years ago. It couldn't have worked out back then. Baxter had his assumptions about himself and others, and he held onto them strongly. It’s sad, but there was no way to make him change his ways back then. He was set on leaving no matter what would have happened.

This Baxter is different from the 19 year old who put his comfort above all else. During that conversation by the fireplace he is being vulnerable in ways he never allowed himself to be before. He tells MC that he missed them over those five years. That they made him feel wanted that summer, and as incredible as it felt, he couldn’t believe it would last. He makes it clear that it wasn’t any of MC’s actions that made him feel that way - he applied this mindset to every connection he made at that time.

It’s incredibly sad to witness his thoughts out in the open like that. I think Baxter’s struggles are something most of us can relate to in some way. Low self-esteem can make people withdraw from social situations and spiral into self-hatered. It’s terrible, to be so wrapped up in disliking yourself that you assume that nobody could ever like you. That you have no good qualities as a person, so you have to make up for them somehow. It can feel like it'll stay this way forever, and so there is no point in trying to connect with others.

However that is not true. In the end, Baxter came to understand this as well. He is worthy of love and friendship. He grew and learned from his past mistakes, and so can we.

He apologises to MC once again, and expresses deep regret over not staying in contact with them. And at last, MC can say that they actually know Baxter Alexander Ward.

I think this moment is really beautiful. It’s an apology without excuses, that provides an explanation. Baxter never had malicious intentions, but even so, his actions had hurt people who cared for him (and who he cared about), so he owns up to his mistakes and does his best to correct them.

Aside from being a really good moment of taking accountablity and being vulnerable with another person this conversation also sets the mood for the morning confession. The air is finally cleared. These two characters can finally show how much they value each other because there is mutual understanding and trust between them again. It will take some time to get to know each other after so long, but they are willing to try, and they know they can be honest.

After a day full of emotional revelations, Baxter and MC finally head to bed. Not only the characters, but the players can take a breath and prepare for what’s to come. And boy are we in for a treat.

The next day arrives and the players are given an option to sleep in as much as they want. What time MC wakes up will have an effect on dialogues and is one of the many examples of how the game lets us customize the protagonist however we want, even in the silliest ways. It is something i deeply appreciate about the Our Life series. The comfort level also changes the lines, for example MC's response to Baxter greeting them in the morning.

Eventually the sleeping beauty wakes up and the pair moves to the living room. Despite sleeping in for a while Baxter is still out of it and it’s so adorable (he's just like me fr).

I think the tone set for the confession is lovely. The atmosphere in the morning is relaxing and light and to me it feels like this is exactly what those characters needed. A new day has arrived, not only literally but figuratively for their relationship. There is no negative tension in the air, just the feeling of peace. They are clearly enjoying each other's company and it's great to finally have that again.

This is only my opinion, but the way this moment feels is exactly why i like it more than the wedding confession. The previous confession is meant to feel rushed, high on emotions and full of determination to declare the feelings right away. MC feels like they have to be upfront about their feelings in that moment so they confess. I do enjoy this type of tension, but i simply prefer this kind of setting. As much as i love convincing Baxter to truly express his feelings by shooting down the reasons not to date him (it's so intense and dramatic! absolutely amazing) i find that i like this quiet admission of feelings more.

While it might not be that intense as the moment right after the wedding, there is still this nagging feeling that urges MC not to wait any longer. They love that they are included in this private corner of Baxter's life and they wish they could have been before. It's this feeling of not wanting to lose any more time, that makes them think about confessing then and there.

And so, the player is presented with a choice:

It is time to confess! Hallelujah.

Just like in the wedding confession we can pick the way we want to confess - with words or with a gesture. If we pick the third option you lose the chance to confess yourself. Instead Baxter will do this when the time comes.

Upon choosing one of the ways to confess, MC has the same internal monologue they do in the wedding confession. I've already shared my thoughts about it in the previous post, but i'll just say here that it's a very nice scene. They reminisce about their relationship with Baxter as a whole, eventually coming to the conclusion, that they can hold on to him.

After the monologue ends, the player has a chance to reaffirm their decision, as they did in the previous confession.

If you back out, MC thinks that they can be together just not in the way they'd want to. They are afraid of confessing, in case they ruin what they just got back and make Baxter run away.

But, if you reaffirm your decision, you get my personal favourite confession scene. Let's get right into it!

I mentioned in Part 1 that Baxter reacts to MC's silence, as they reminisce about their relationship. I find it a little funny when i imagine them just sitting in silence and staring intensely for a while. Kinda like when magical girls have their transformations and the bad guys don't do anything to interrupt them. MC monologuing definitely gives off the same energy. Writing inner monologues is tricky like that.

During the wedding confession Baxter is anxious and worried, waiting to receive MC's verdict. Do they welcome him back to their life? Or do they reject him (even though there is no such option in the game)?. It's stressful and the prolonged silence makes Baxter slowly come back to his usual behaviour to protect himself, in case his vulnerability was the wrong move.

This isn't the case here. His reaction is wildly different. There is no tension or stress, just curiosity and anticipation. Instead of being nervous he is very smug, clearly knowing or at least suspecting what MC is thinking about. I gotta say, when i first picked this option i was stunned. I did NOT expect him to act in this way, but it was a pleasant surprise. Mr. Ward is very perceptive and i love this confident attitude of his.

MC asks him what is on his mind, and he comes back to reality. Baxter encourages them to continue, but they insist he tells them what's going on. And that's what he does. He says that he was remembering a "funny story". Then he asks MC if they want to know something absolutely embarrassing. With that kind of an opening, how could they refuse?

Baxter tells them that Jude and Scott attempted to speak to him about his and MC's... situation. He was surprised that they noticed he was sad and wanted to help him, when he was supposed to be doing that with their relationship. I think it was his feelings of inferiority that made him feel that way.

Moving on, the reason he brought that up wasn't to draw attention to how his poor relationship management skills made others concerned for him. But rather to point out, that the men knew, that MC is important to Baxter. Baxter states that he was grateful they met and despite ending their relationship five years ago, he was never sorry he knew MC. He is kinda chaotic with his admission, one second bringing up the chat with the grooms and the other expressing his affection for MC.

Understandably, it makes MC confused. They thought they were the one leading the dance - or the conversation in this case - but clearly now it's Baxter doing that (i mean he is a professional). Even so, he isn't as good with his words as usual and doesn't quite manage to convey what he wants to MC.

He thanks MC for letting him "ramble" for so long and stands up. Shit's getting real. We're about to enter the boss fight.

He moves to sit on the edge of the coffee table, which puts him at the eye level with MC, only closer than before. And then this silly man leans closer acting all calm and confident. Dude. Please. Everytime i play this moment i lose my precious ability to formulate thoughts, not to mention actual sentences. Because. Oh my god.

And then he hits you with THAT. He absolutely knew what MC was thinking about and he is having a lot of fun with teasing them. They realize that he caught on to what was going on and figure that at least it makes it easier to confess. The dialogue varies in this place because of the comfort level - these are their thoughts on the Direct setting. They also think about how hard would it be to tell him they liked him before he opened up to them. I find it pretty funny, because it’s clearly a tiny poke, towards players who did confess right after the wedding and faced this struggle. When you’re replaying those moments it does make you chuckle.

Now we can finally confess our feelings! When doing that verbally there are a couple of options to choose from, as in the case of the wedding confession. One of the options is: "Could I consider all the time we spent together a date?" and you already know i love this one. It's playful, it's a reference to when Baxter asked MC out five years ago, it's perfect. There is no contender, i always choose it.

...Is what i would say, but i actually always choose the option to confess with a kiss during this feelings reveal.

Confessing with a kiss looks a bit different from the first confession. This time there aren't multiple options to choose where we want to kiss him, MC goes straight (or is it?) for the lips. And the way that kiss is described is everything to me. I'm an absolute sucker for kissing scenes and this one is just so, so, so good! I cannot find fitting words in english (and neither can i in polish) so i'll just drop one screenshot from it and move along before i combust.

It's so tender and sweet and adorable please-

While Baxter was acting super confident and cocky, the second MC declares their love for him/moves to kiss him he turns into a shy, blushing mess. Despite knowing or at least suspecting what MC was about to do he is still caught of guard. I think that his reaction is absolutely adorable. Baxter doesn't blush a lot, so it's always a treat when he does.

We can choose to tell Baxter, that MC wanted to be with him even five years ago and this stuns him again.

Now that MC have confessed their love they're waiting for Baxter to respond. But GOD, is he struggling. It's the first time Baxter is so flustered and it makes me so giddy. He allows himself to show how much MC means to him and holy shit, this man cannot look at them for too long because he will just blush even harder.

From the way he is acting it's already clear that he reciprocates MC's feelings. But the fact that he gets so shy? Stole my heart, sir how dare you be so cute.

Of course, Baxter Ward cannot stay flustered for long and he eventually recovers. Damn it.

His response to the confession is so sweet. He basically says "my turn" and tells MC all the things he loves about being with them, how they made him feel and how much he appreciates them. There is still a moment of self-loathing, when Baxter regrets trying to keep MC out of his life- twice. He is surprised that MC still has feelings for him, still wants to be with him despite all the pain he caused them.

He still brings up all the potential reasons why this could be a bad idea. Limited connections, his current financial situation and his past ways of managing relationships. But unlike in the Wedding Confession, here those aren't statements for MC to refute. I'd say they are less of a warning for MC and more of an expose of himself, to be sure that he revealed everything he considers a flaw before accepting their confession. "By all accounts, I shouldn't be doing this. But I am." - those are his words. Even if he still has his doubts, he isn't going to turn MC down anymore. If he let them go now, in fear of potentially not being enough in this relationship, he would regret it.

And so that is his response: "If you'll have me you will have me." Don't mind if i do- yoink.

While he calmed down a bit for this admission, he gets flustered yet again. It's so adorable to see him be so affected by MC and this situation.

Baxter says that it was easier asking MC out himself all those years ago. He is still so out of it that he voices out loud that he has no idea what to do now. His usual grace and poise are still on leave it seems. He follows it up with that it would be the best if he switched from sitting on the coffee table to somewhere with a backrest, just in case. Dude. Baxter is so strongly impacted by this confession that he is fully aware that there is a possiblity that he will just topple down. I'm melting, it's so cute!

He moves to the couch and MC joins him over there. Once Baxter calms down a bit, he says he is starting to "remember some possiblities" and the two kiss again. I can't even begin describe how much i love the way the kissing moments are written. They're amazing and i'm losing my mind.

The last question Baxter has is if his feelings were obvious to MC. He recounts when Jude asked him point-blank if he was still 'into' MC - we get a couple of dialogue answers to pick, either reacting to Jude even asking about it or answering Baxter's question.

And that is the end of this confession! Baxter overcomes his sheepishness at last, no longer blushing intensely. Quite a shame, but i think we all love his usual charming self as well.

There are no more reservations about showing his true feelings. The pair has been reunited after five years and are finally ready to start a long-term relationship. Good for them <3

Baxter shares one last thought at the end of this long conversation:

And yes, this is the other reason why i call this confession the Morning Confession specifically! It's entirely because of Baxter pointing it out. And because he is so surprised about this turn of events.

The second part is finally over! I worked on it during those two weeks (holy fuck, why) it took me to post it. I'm a bit bummed it took me this long to finish it, but i did my best <3

This part is definitely longer than the first, the brainrot got to me. I haven't started the third part yet but i already replayed the last confession scene and honestly? I forgot how good it was compared to the other two! Shame on me, truly.

See you in the third part! Peace out~

Part 1

[p3chris]

Mission 35 comes out in anime soon!

*manga spoilers ahead*

If we look from the perspective of Twilight getting worried about the safety of his cover, he does actually have a somewhat logical reason to want to seduce Yor.

[I say somewhat because if Twilight truly wanted to be safe, perhaps the safest option would be to swap out Yor and avoid contact with Yuri completely. But throughout the entire spectacle, Twilight never considers simply changing wives. That says something in itself.]

The ostensible benefit Yor gets from their marriage is camouflage from the SSS. But if Yuri reveals his status, Yor will find that the marriage cover is unnecessary after all - under Yuri's SSS protection, she won't get into trouble for being single.

With that knowledge, Yor can safely quit the marriage and leave Twilight (and his mission) in the lurch.

Of course, we readers know this is still unlikely to occur. Yuri has no intention of outing himself because he is terrified of Yor's potential disapproval, and what Yor truly fears is not actually getting caught by the SSS but her actual profession coming to light. Yor is also becoming reluctant to leave because of Anya and him. But Twilight doesn’t know that. For him, it is clear this arrangement is not secure.

But if Yor was genuinely attached to and happily in love with Loid, she would not go raising any alarms to Yuri. Their romantic involvement would add a layer of protection should the original terms of their marriage agreement fall through.

In this context, the honey trap makes sense.

Except... When Twilight jumps at the chance to honey trap his wife, there is none of the above thought processes shown.

Despite the manga telling us Twilight mode is engaged, his thoughts are certainly not Twilight thoughts: there is none of his cautious overthinking and risk-benefit assessment, he makes this inexplicable leap from nowhere to the conclusion that he has to perform a honey trap, and he plain forgets what a violent drunk Yor can be.

Which means he is not thinking straight. He does not know what he is doing.

That makes the Twiyor fan in me very happy.

[emberwood-if]

Ooof I dunno which RO to go for 😩 Who would you recommend? I'll go for whoever you pick

I love that I made the decision difficult for you. I saw this ask right when I was writing with Perry so I choose Perry!

For context (and for any new players/followers):

Want to reiterate that Emberwood can be a romance (if you choose) but I've settled with calling the romance routes more drama, or 'angstmance' because none of these relationships are 100% healthy or pure aha...

Perry: if you like friendly, warm, nice, very 'easy' route in terms of emotion. It's by no means smooth sailing, but Perry is a very open and willing person, and emotionally in-tune with himself.

Route: friends to lovers // daddy issues //personality switch// 'love at first sight' (if you pursue him romantically thats what it he would claim it is) // mentor/mentee relationship (which will make Perry more hesitant) // possible age gap // possible unhealthy attachment

E: I always say E is the most mature route of all of them, mostly because the main obstacle of their route is having to deal with them choosing their job >>> over anything and anyone else. They've also had been very badly burned by love in the past, so they're not eager to be in a relationship.

Route: brokenhearted by ex // lying to them // work over personal life // another mentor/mentee relationship (which is based solely on whether you choose that) // possible age gap

Alex: Alex is emotionally empty, very indifferent and does not see themself ever getting vulnerable. I think they're best for players who like the 'emotional chase.' Most of the route is trying to break down Alex's walls. They are very guarded, so it won't be easy to get them to open up.

Route: indifference to attachment // distrust // has not faced their past and doesn't want to lol // will purposely push MC away by any means necessary

Dani: Angry. Angry. Angry. Dani is very hard to please, rude, brash, abrasive but they have a heart...deep down. They care about others in their own way, and they can be surprisingly witty when they want to be.

Tropes//Themes: rivals to lovers // 'Stay away from me, I will hurt you in the end' vibes // unhealthy emotional...regulation? // morally grey //

F: F is very bright and very easy to talk to, cheerful, fun. Very sweet, I think F is very easy to love, both from a friendship and a romantic stand point. Of course, loving them actually wont be easy

Route: has never experienced love // insecure with themselves // for MC's that are on the older side, this will prove to be another obstacle due to the nature of F's past //

N: N is a hermit, quiet, doesn't speak much and has a lot of anger inside them. You won't talk to them much unless you're on their platonic and/or romantic route lol unfortunately or if you go out of your way to choose choices that are directly interacting with N.

Route: reluctant friend to lovers // never sure whether N will be gone or not // inexperienced with romance // familial issues //

K: While intelligent and very serious, K is like F in the romance aspect. While their route is heavy, it's not as heavy as say, Alex or Dani, but it's up there. But the romance is a lot more straight forward, mostly because K is straight forward.

Route: familial issues // powerful parents // has not faced their past // difficult to open up

[bobafett]

stealing this because the boops made me realize how much i miss tag games.

How many works do you have on AO3? A grand total of 14. I am not a prolific writer.

What’s your total AO3 word count? 63,880. Please see above answer.

What fandoms do you write for? Batman and Star Wars. I have a little bit of Supernatural fic posted on an alt account, and I've been turning over an idea for an OW fic in my head for a while, but it takes me a long time to figure out how to write in a fandom in a way that still captures the "vibes" of the source material (which is always one of my goals). So I rarely branch out.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos? New Cornerstone (suitless!Vader AU from a million years ago), Brothers in Arms (Jon starts to get an inkling that his best friend has perhaps not had a normal childhood), Setting the Bone (Selina Kyle: reluctant parental figure), In This Twilight (Damian and Jason brotherly bonding, first batfam fic I ever wrote), and Try to Sweep the Darkness Out (batfam Christmas special that I've almost orphaned 10 times because I hate the writing choices I made in it so much). None of the fics I'm actually proud of are on this list. Tragic.

Do you respond to comments? Irregularly and unpredictably! I will if I feel like I have something to say and it catches me in the right mood.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Uh, that would be High Water Mark since it starts with a scene of Cody contemplating suicide and ends with the instant right before Order 66 kicks in.

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Probably Problem Solving since it's the only fic I've ever written where I was actually trying to be light hearted.

Do you get hate on fics? Never, thankfully.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? If I thought I could do it successfully, I would. But I'm not, so I don't.

Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? Basically never. There is a Doctor Who/Sherlock fic buried on my old FF.net account. There's also a Super Smash Bros fic on there that I wrote in 2009, which I suppose also counts.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? I can't imagine why anyone would.

Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? No, and I never would. I'm too much of a control freak about my writing. Writing, say, shared universe stuff might be fun, but actually co-authoring something would drive me nuts.

What’s your all time favorite ship? What a question. I come back to Jaime/Brienne a lot for reading, but I don't think I'd ever write it. I write a ton of BatCat, but rarely read it because I'm particular. I like Lois/Clark, but I almost never write OR read it. I'm honestly not very ship motivated. Most of the time I filter for a ship because I'm in the mood for its attendant tropes, and if the writing is good, you can sell me on just about anything.

What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Hmngh. New Cornerstone again. There's 20k of an expanded version of it on my hard drive that I haven't added to since probably 2017. There's something very fun about suitless!Vader as a character because he's such a sparking, destructive livewire of a person, but also I'm experienced enough now to realize how difficult doing justice to that premise is. Also, I'd have to rewatch TCW to get Ahsoka's voice down, and I just don't got time for that shit.

What are your writing strengths? Description and sense of place. Also pretty good at dialogue.

What are your writing weaknesses? Fucking. Long fic. Plot in general. I'm horrifically bad at it.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I'm usually inclined to keep all my dialogue in English, but it would depend on the context and the effect I was going for.

First fandom you wrote for? Purposefully? Inuyasha. Without having any idea what fanfic was? I created an Artemis Fowl fairy OC and stuck her in Indiana Jones when I was 10 years old.

Favorite fic you’ve written? They Don't Sing Songs For Me. No contest. It's perfectly captures what I think is the ideal form of fanfic: two characters who have absolutely no business interacting with each other building a compelling relationship dynamic over the course of 9k words.

I will be tagging @panharmonium, @apostatefrog, @dead-ghost-walking, @ryehouses, @yellowocaballero, @lazuliquetzal. Also anyone else who wants to. I will bring back tag games by force of will, so help me God.

[cheswirls]

there's not anything from the beginning of the cyberpunk au that is ready to share (too many holes and fill-ins and such that i don't feel like correcting rn) so instead here's three takes of a particular breakdown scene from the second act that is. uh. hopefully far, far enough away from being published that this part fades from everyone's minds by then :) but if not, no context is a killer

-

Ace moves back into the room he and Sabo had formerly occupied alone. He’s not sure how to take that at first, and seeing the lack of Sabo’s belongings spread around the shared space hits like a punch to the gut. But after a spell, he resolves to give Sabo some space. He’ll come around when he’s ready, Ace tells himself. All Ace has to do is be patient.

It quickly becomes painfully obvious that things are not that simple.

Sabo starts avoiding him, little by little. At first it’s almost unnoticeable. He’ll stiffen in Ace’s hold, then shy away from Ace’s touch, then casually move to avoid it altogether. They’ll be in the same room, in the same space, and yet it suddenly feels like Sabo is worlds away. 

It’s such a sharp contrast compared to how they were when Ace was first recovered. Where Sabo would cling to him with pain in his eyes, unwilling to let Ace out of sight for any reason. Now he’s so reluctant to initiate any sort of contact at all, and when it’s just the two of them, no matter the situation, Sabo finds an excuse to be somewhere else.

Ace thought, given time, Sabo would move back in with him. That the room he was staying in now would be temporary the longer he adjusted to Ace being back. But it turns out to be the opposite. The more time goes on, the less he sees of Sabo in general. 

With help, Ace manages to confront Sabo before he’s confined himself in his office for the day. It’s tense and awkward where it doesn’t need to be, should never need to be. Sabo doesn’t have any reasons for his recent behavior that he’s willing to give to Ace. So Ace starts offering his own, wanting to finally get to the bottom of this.

He hits rock bottom with his final guess, convincing himself that no matter how Sabo answers, he’ll accept it. But Sabo surprises him again, head shooting up to look at Ace with wide, scared eyes, one hand outstretched in Ace’s direction.

“Of course I–” Sabo stops, his voice failing him, and turns his head sharply to choke on the sob stuck in his throat. Ace steps forward, dropping to his knees to kneel at Sabo’s side, and risks grabbing Sabo by the shoulders so he’ll finally look at Ace.

Sabo’s teeth are gritted tight. There are tears in the corners of his eyes, and after a moment, he blinks harsh and two wet trails run down his cheeks. “Maybe that’s the problem,” he whispers, and Ace’s heart stops thudding in his chest.

Sabo continues, oblivious to Ace’s condition. “If I didn’t love you anymore, maybe this would be easier. Maybe it would stop hurting all the time.” He glances over and ends up holding Ace’s gaze, sincerity blooming in his own eyes in a way that physically pains Ace, when coupled with the words he says. “It’s so empty,” Sabo confesses, reaching up to grab at his heart. “It has been ever since you d–” He shakes his head. “And now that you’re back, I can’t even feel happy about it. It aches, Ace. It’s indescribable, and you don’t even feel it!”

Sabo leans back, out of his hold, almost toppling from the chair. “You left me!

[Take 2.]

It’s hard not to notice all the changes, but at first, especially in the beginning, it’s easy to ignore them.

Sabo clings to Ace in such an unnatural way. He has a new room now, because none of his belongings remain in the room he and Ace had shared. But it would be hard to tell otherwise, because Ace is there, and Sabo occupies the space as if he had never left. 

It’s different from before, like when Sabo had first moved in with him. Ace still remembers it well. Sabo being in here all the time, even when Ace was not. Sleeping in the same bed more days out of the week than in his own room, and then casually borrowing items from Ace until he began to leave space for his own. At first it was clothes for the next day in an empty drawer Ace never had the need to fill. Then various hygiene products taking up space in the en-suite bathroom one by one. Sabo brings a bag filled with various things that never end up leaving, and by the end of a particularly draining week, when they’re both back here, too exhausted to even make it to the bed, Sabo softly admits that there was nothing he needed to grab from his own room to make it through the next day.

And Ace just. Follows that. Really easily, the ‘why don’t you just move in?’ spills from his lips, because it seems like the correct response to have. It would keep Sabo from worrying about missing something, because everything will be in one place once more. He and Sabo will be in one place, really, wholeheartedly.

There’s not even much left, but the next day, Ace helps Sabo carry the remaining items over. And that was it. Simple. Easy. Natural, even.

Not like this.

Something is wrong. Something is terribly wrong, but Ace is too afraid to ask. He can’t quite put his finger on it, either, and yet he knows. 

It wouldn’t be too far off to say Sabo is scared, but of what Ace isn’t certain. Losing him again? That would explain a lot, but it would only explain the things he could outright see. Sabo clinging to him tightly, unable to let go. Unwilling to be apart, and yet.

All of his belongings remain in his other room. Completely separated. 

Ace has never even seen it, but he knows it has to exist. Sabo is so frantic, so on edge, and Ace thinks, at first, that Sabo is bracing himself. Not willing to give himself the chance to get attached, in case something else happens.

It’s a good theory, but Ace knows, instinctively, that it’s incorrect. There’s another reason, has to be, and he just hasn’t stumbled upon the right pieces to put it together yet.

It’s colder, too. 

Ace can feel it at night, gripping Sabo’s frozen fingers and wishing he had the power to warm them up. His body heat isn’t unnaturally high, though, and that’s all he has. All he can do is cup Sabo’s hands in his own and hope the chill doesn’t spread to him as well. 

And that’s not the only thing that’s missing.

For all the trouble it was worth, Ace can’t help but feel a tinge of regret that their soul bond was no longer. It’s definitely an adjustment. Ace will do something too hard, too rough, and then instinctively look over his shoulder to apologize only to find Sabo hasn’t felt a thing.

But he notices. How Sabo tenses, like he should be feeling a reaction and is lost when he doesn’t. It’s subtle, but Ace starts watching closer so he can see when Sabo acts out of turn. An action that’s too forceful, or a misstep, or something he can get away with while in Ace’s line of sight that should send a twinge of pain coursing through him.

It never does. Sabo always looks so unhappy about it. Like he’s testing their bond, like he wants Ace to have a reaction, to feel what he’s feeling.

Ace doesn’t understand why it matters so much until Sabo starts pulling away. Subtly, at first. Little things Ace shouldn’t notice, but he does. 

[Take 3??]

“You don’t have a soul bond anymore,” Sabo mutters, so distraught and defeated, head drooped low. Ace’s lips open, a counter on his tongue, a reassurance, a promise. Sabo doesn’t give him the chance, continuing, words dripping from his lips like acid. “But I do. It’s still there. It hasn’t gone away. You came back, and still, nothing has changed.” 

He stops to breathe, ragged, in and out. Then his teeth clench and he lifts his head just to the point where he can gaze up at Ace through his bangs. “It’s still broken. It won’t go away. I–” He’s cut off by a sob tearing through his throat, and when he blinks, tears leave his eyes. 

Ace, panicked, crouches down to eye-level. He reaches out, slowly, both hands up, but it doesn’t even matter. Sabo still flinches back violently, eyeing him warily. He realizes his actions right after they happen, biting down on his lip, eyes blown wide. 

A second later, Sabo is out of his chair, collapsed fully in Ace’s outstretched arms, clinging to his form. Ace’s knees drop so he doesn’t overbalance, and he grips tight, drawing Sabo in. 

“It feels so empty,” Sabo confesses, voice warbled from tears that drip down the back of Ace’s neck. “So lonely. You’re right here and yet my heart doesn’t know. It can’t find you, Ace. This doesn’t even feel real right now. 

"And I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to stop feeling like this. And I’m sorry, sorry that I keep pushing you away, but! It’s so much easier than having you in my arms with my soul telling me that you died, that you left and took half of me with you, and the other half is so inconsolable about it. It doesn’t understand, it keeps telling me to find you, to join you again, but I have so much work left to do here. I can’t leave. Not with Dragon dead. Not with you alive, still, because if I die and my soul can’t find you even in the afterlife? It will kill me, Ace, for good. It’s killing me now. And you don’t–”

He chokes and stops, working through a set of shaky, shallow breaths that Ace coaxes him through, running a comforting hand down his back and up again, over and over. 

Ace sits and tugs Sabo down onto his lap, bringing them both into a more comfortable position. 

“I don’t even feel it,” Ace finishes, voice quiet, barely there. “Right? The remains of our soul bond are tearing you apart, and here I am, free from it in death.” That would explain all of Sabo’s peculiarities as of late. He’s been trying to get Ace to feel, like before. Working himself up over it and then falling apart when Ace doesn’t react. He wants their bond back so bad that he’s been so reckless, and Ace didn’t even notice.

[sirendeepity]

For the fanfic writer ask game:

♥️👻📗

Nikiiiii, my love, it's so good to see you here! <333

❤️ What is your favorite line that you’ve written in a fic?

So, this one's tough. Not because I have the hands of Midas, but because I simply... Have no idea? I did skim through metanoia, though, because if that's where the good stuff is, and I found a few because I'm physically unable to choose just one I really liked, two of which are quote quotes

“I gave him the power he thinks he has now, and by not agreeing on meeting with him we’re just proving his point: that he has something, that he’s worth something. I’d rather die than give him the satisfaction.”

That night was not for deep, belly laughs. That night was for healing what others had broken. To build anew.

while the third is more of a context quote

What caught her attention the most, tho, had been the fact that Rhysand had been ready to put so much of himself, of what he’d been through, at stake. For her. Nesta shifted in her seat, not stomaching the starlight violet any longer. She felt Night caressing her mental shields, purring, asking to get in. She let it. You’re worth the risks. She turned, the bones in her neck cracking with the fast motion, and stared speechless at Rhysand. She’d let him in her mind, yet the voice wasn’t there. He’d said those words out loud, had made sure the stars heard them too.

👻 What is your wildest headcanon?

I answered this one here, bUT I'll give you another one, which is also a spoiler for a possible future multi-chapter fanfic I've been thinking about for a while and recently I'm entertaining the idea of actually try to write it? We'll see. Anyway I have this idea that the Valkyries (well, Nesta, at least, since she's the one who's part of the Inner Circle) will "give up" their citizenship? And they're not members of the Night Court anymore? Or they're just a private citizen like any other? I still have to think this trough, but they're going to do all that because they are going to tour around Prythian to recruit and train more females and officially revive The Valkyries, and make them an army for the people: basically, there will be a base in every Court and legions/battalions for each, but overall they don't belong to a single Court but rather all of them, but really, if you think about it, none at all. They're like an independent army, the "neutral party" which will not stay so neutral if things get dirty. They'll stand for equality and freedom, they'll protect the innocents, and by not "legally" belonging to any Court they won't have a High Lord or High Lady that can order them around and such, so they'll be like an Eight Court of sorts without really being a Court at all. Does this make sense?

📗 Do you want to write something outside of fanfiction? If so, what about?

Oh bestie I'm so happy you asked this because y e s. Yes. Yes, I do. And I am completely cool about it. Not acting weird at all.

I'm almost done with the first draft of this personal project of mine that I've been working on and off for the past ..year..s? But I keep procrastinating so I've been "-10 chapters!!" for the past week, but still. To keep things sweet and short, I'll make you a list, because we love lists on this blog:

Crown of Thorns (4): (high?) fantasy; reluctant found family where each and every one of them is "in it" for their own personal gaining, but what started as a shallow "they took my crown from me so now I'll take it back because I can? and because I'm petty and hold grudges" will turn into "I have to stop the Lord of Darkness from coming back from the dead and destroy the world as we know it, and maybe start a revolution while I'm at it". It's messy, and sometimes I think I won't be able to pull this off the way I intended to (good intentions, bad delivery, you know?) so don't ask me to tell you more than this because I really don't know how without spoiling the entire thing;

Cursed Goddes/Blessed God (2): CoT spin-off that is actually a prequel and kind of explains/shows the events that led society to become the way it is in CoT and yes, I really did dig my own grave with this whole series, but now I'm in too deep to stop so down we go;

Kill Your Darlings (1): dark academia-ish, paranormal vibes and a hint of mystery, too? Think House of Anubis, but everyone is gay and mentally ill. That's it, that's the plot.

The Haven Island series (3): contemporary romance, interconnected standalones following a group of friends navigating life in their 20s, where every story is meant to represent a different aspect of girlhood/womanhood (aka toxic/abusive relationships, motherhood, sexism and mysoginy, etc.)

I'd also like to write something in the dystopian sub-genre, because who doesn't love that feeling of impending and unavoidable doom? But I have absolutely nothing in my hands if not some sort of relationship dynamics that for the sake of logic and coherency I had to cut out from the CoT plot, so, yeah, we're really basing it all on vibes at this point

Ask me a question!

[dwsavideos]

have u seen the sing street movie? i loved it and i was reluctant about the musical bc there’s some stuff about the movie that i love that ik wouldn’t translate to stage so im wondering how they compare👀

Just to warn you, I’m answering this in a very long and specific way because I can talk about Sing Street forever (could probably write a thesis on it tbh) so I hope you don’t mind the long answer. It’s a really great question! I have seen the Sing Street movie several times and I love it. Also having seen the stage version in Boston, I can confidently say that though most of the movie translates to the stage version, they are pretty different in a lot of ways, and not just the staging. Here’s my observations:

When you say “stuff about the movie that you love but know wouldn’t translate to the stage” I don’t know if you mean that in a staging way or if you mean specific characteristics or scenes. (I think I know what you’re talking about but that’s a spoiler lol) BUT without spoiling any of the major plot, I can say that in the movie, there’s characters swimming, characters on boats, characters driving/sitting in a car, riding bikes, a motorcycle at one point and none of that is in the stage version obviously because those are very hard things to stage in any musical or play.

That being said, the stage version deviates from the movie at times but the whole storyline and main character arcs are the same. The only thing that’s a bit different is a few scenes, some of the band characters, and songs that are new like Dream For You, Faith of Our Fathers, Up Reprise, and a few 80s songs that aren’t in the movie. The biggest difference (that’s not a spoiler) is that there is no school dance at the end. With a cast of 15 people, 4 of those people being the adult characters, a school dance scene would’ve been tricky to try to stage.

Also I have to say the musical touches on a lot of darker themes while the movie definitely has it’s sad moments, but is overall lighthearted. The stage version is very funny but gets heavy, and that content is treated and performed with lots of respect. Also there was a trigger warning insert in the playbill and on the website when you buy tickets. Adding those heavy scenarios can be hit or miss depending on how the characters cope or how it relates to the plot. (i.e: Do the scenarios help develop character/drive the story forward/give the audience context?) Adding those heavy themes just for the hell of it is bad writing and an unhealthy habit for writers to have. But these themes definitely relate to the plot and characters and drive the story forward along with helping character development. (Some of these themes were hinted at in the movie but never shown/barely mentioned).

The ending of the movie is something that the creator (John Carney) wished he could change, and I think he made the perfect tweaks to it in the stage version. If you’ve watched the movie, you know that the ending has no closure at all. The musical fixes that and it’s a bit more satisfying as an audience member to have closure at the end, especially when the show has as many depressing moments as this one.

Overall, there’s definitely no drastic deviations from the movie, but the stage version is definitely not a carbon copy of the film. For lack of better wording, I’d say the stage version is just more “theatrical.” It’s beautiful just like the movie and I’d recommend it to anyone as soon as it’s staged again, whether it be in Boston, on Broadway, Tour, or West End. I don’t blame you for your reluctance though, there’s always a bit of fear when a favorite movie gets a stage adaptation.

EDIT: I know Sing Street (musical) isn’t being staged anywhere atm but if you’re reading this and wanna learn more about it, listen to the OBCR, watch videos of the precious and talented OBC on YouTube, read reviews from NYTW, join the fandom and get to know the show because it’s amazing and deserves all the love!!

[amplifyme]

Episode time!

A Gentle Rain-- I liked this episode, too; and it's interesting that I didn't want (forgot his name) to not be turned in (at first) while ALSO wanting him to accept responsibility and pay his dues. His self-inflicted "punishment" was really the voice of "conscience", and his The Scarlet Letter routine (though it was perfectly understandable to a degree) got staler and staler the more he retreated into cowardice. His wife's decisions and rationalizations were a great touch. I admired the line Cathy walked this episode, because it would be so easy to let the case grow cold or be closed off to the mother's avenging attitude simply because she valued her family Below. The "I'm sorry" scene was excellent, as was Vincent's speech that broke through (forgot his name)'s denial.

The Outside-- Stressed, stressed, stressed. Long time since an episode has brought that out in me. (As an aside, the man who sent down the wheelbarrow of flowers reminded me glaringly of Mr. Chuckle Teeth from the Revival, though I've only seen the character through screenshots floating around here. Love him regardless.) The children playing heavily into the plot (not subtle for Vincent/Cathy, getting cut, almost getting killed, getting traumatized from seeing Randal's body, etc.) was an excellent, excellent idea. Mary getting more screentime, her and Father's rash and unwise (though heartfelt) decision almost got them killed (by a group that loves to play games through terror even more than killing in cold blood) her reluctance to leave, and her plan of action juxtaposed brilliantly to William's pragmatic boldness, willingness to stamp out evil even if it involved violence, and continual push of her and Father's more safety-oriented perspective. Vincent throughout this entire episode... wow. And even Cathy-- it wasn't really her fault this time around so much as Father's for forgetting about her (because of everything on his mind but also his other, more urgent priorities-- interesting dynamic); and though it went against Vincent's wishes, there was nothing else for her to do, really. Being chased down the hallway, shooting, getting caught and threatened, calling Vincent back, and trying to stop the child with her gun (a fitting parallel-- another part of her that contributed to his "downfall") was magnificent. The Outside left me with so many unclear thoughts and even more material for rumination. But here's one: they were all wrong and right-- Father and Mary heart to help was right but wrong for their community's rules (and neither response is wrong, only the context); William was right in his protective instinct but wrong to expect Vincent to be their weapon (though he hadn't meant to strip his friend of humanity); Cathy was wrong to push Vincent's mandate not to get involved but right to help when Father directly asked for her participation (BEHIND Vincent's back-- another fascinating touch); Vincent is right that bloodthirst is a part of him but wrong to assume it taints the whole of himself; etc. etc. Love any and all thoughts I might have missed (what was discussed when this aired, or after; what a lot of Classics miss in this ep.; what I might have missed, etc.) All of the scenes were brilliant, and everything haunting.

Another meaty one to sink my teeth into. See below...

Oh, I'm glad you liked A Gentle Rain! I wish we'd gotten to see more of Kanin and Livvy in later episodes. Livvy does show up again a few times, but Kanin continues on only in fanfic. I remember reading an interview with Shelly Moore and Linda Campanelli (the writers) where they spoke about how tough it was to sell this story in the writer's room. Apparently none of the male writers found it believable that a mother might still be so deeply affected by her child's death 16 years later. 😲 I'm very glad they were able to persuade the rest of the room to give this one a shot.

On to darker things...

I had to laugh at your comparison of Long, the grocer, to Mr. Chuckle Teeth. Now I'll never watch that scene again without thinking that!

Nothing much to add to the first part of your musings on The Outsiders. As an aside, Paramount Plus screwed up with the incomplete title on this one. That's important because the title doesn't refer just to the outsiders who invade the tunnel community but also to the one member of that community who is also in many ways an outsider.

And even Cathy-- it wasn't really her fault this time around so much as Father's for forgetting about her (because of everything on his mind but also his other, more urgent priorities-- interesting dynamic); and though it went against Vincent's wishes, there was nothing else for her to do, really.

A couple things here. Father doesn't forget about Cathy. If you'll remember, he asked Cathy to meet Pascal and a group of children to escort the kids to a helper uptop. Pascal never makes it to the meeting because his group is ambushed on the way there. That's when Matthew and Simon are killed by the outsiders and Vincent kills the small group who attacked them (marking the first time we see him kill a woman, by the way).

And I strongly disagree with you about Cathy's decision to venture below. There was absolutely something else she could have done instead. She could have done as Vincent asked and stayed away. These lines are so, so important to the arc of Vincent's storyline going forward. It's not always brought up in future episodes, but the seed of his downward spiral starts here, I think. From the scene on Cathy's balcony:

C: Well then, let me try to help. V: No! You must stay away from it. C: That world, those tunnels, are part of my life too. And so are you! V: And if the worst should happen, you must not be anywhere near. C: If the worst happens, I want to be by your side. With you. V: No. Not like that. Not ever again.

Three times he tells her to stay away, because he already knows how this is going to end. He knows he'll end up killing at least some of the outsiders and he doesn't want her there when it happens.

Not like that, he says to her. Not ever again. Translation: I don't want you there when I kill. I don't want you to witness that. I can't continue to be burdened by the visceral emotions I always feel in you when I've killed in your protection, and with you so close. With you invariably throwing yourself at me in the immediate aftermath of my killings, when everything within me is nothing but beast and everything within you is exaltation at my protection of you, and your love for me at its strongest and most primal. I don't want to be that for you anymore. I don't want to feel that in you anymore - not from my killings. To steal another of Vincent's lines from A Happy Life that fits here as well: "It mocks our dream."

It's important to remember that Vincent draws a very distinct line in his own mind about what is acceptable when it comes to protection of the tunnel community and their world as opposed to the killing he's forced to do Above, in Catherine's world. His posture and the way he holds himself, even the way he kills, is vastly different from when he dispatches the first group of outsiders without Cathy there, to when she is the one in danger and right there with him. And Cathy seems to finally understand why he didn't want her there when she watches him go absolutely ape-shit on the group at the end. She tells him, "No, stop!" Too little, too late, Cathy.

Vincent is right that bloodthirst is a part of him but wrong to assume it taints the whole of himself; etc. etc.

I'm not so sure I agree with that. I think his assumption is correct. What he does when he loses himself in protection of Cathy does taint him.

V: How can you even look at me? C: Because I know you… I know who you are. V: You don't know me. C: Vincent… There are dark places in all of us. V: But part of me feeds in that darkness and I am lost in it.

He's right. He's not exaggerating. He can very pragmatically dispose of any threat to his world and his family, but when it's for Cathy, it's a whole different set of emotions and needs. And Vincent knows as long as that's true, he can never have the kind of life, be the kind of man, he wants to be with her.

As far as reactions... Vincent fans tended to view this ep as a deeper look at him and his dichotomies, while fans of the romance part of the story didn't like it because of the level of violence, and didn't seem to understand the ramifications.

Okay, that exhausted me. I need a nap now. Enjoy Orphans, it's a well-needed respite. It's also deeply sad though, too, for both Vincent and Cathy.

[veliseraptor]

AU ask: 5 headcanons about your reluctant shishi-verse!

oooh this is a fun one. okay, haven't been in this au for a while but here goes

so Xiao Xingchen doesn't know what's going on, obviously, but he knows something is going on, and I think he...doesn't know about Song Lan but he has some vague memories that mostly feel like those dreams you sort of remember but don't really, and also has always had a vague feeling of somebody missing who should be around but he always just kind of chalked it up to general loneliness, and it did get better when he started seeing Xue Yang, so. but after the most recent fic he definitely suspects something, and he's much more inclined than Xue Yang is to look for or think of a supernatural explanation, though I don't think he has one yet. but he does know this all feels very funny.

there is a distinct possibility that as Xue Yang gets more and more paranoid and desperate to figure out who the fuck Song Lan is and why he keeps lurking around and what he wants that he will put together that Song Lan shows up when he's in trouble for whatever reason and, like, walk in front of a car because it's the only way he has of fucking finding the guy and talking to him. it's not out of the question. he'd definitely at least think about it.

he doesn't even consider the idea that this is a friendly thing. doesn't buy that for a minute. he knows the vibes he's getting off Chinese Batman and they aren't positive! this is a guy who keeps saving his life but consistently gives off "desperately want to murder you" vibes. it's very confusing and makes no sense and honestly that's one of the more concerning things about this whole bizarre situation, other than the fact that he knows, intuitively, that he has to keep Chinese Batman and Xiao Xingchen from interacting with each other because something undefinedly awful will happen if they do.

Song Lan, meanwhile, is just. having a time of it. I mean, obviously, he's been having a time of it for a long time now, he's spent more of his life having a time of it than otherwise, but this is a new level! and also he is concerned that his "I am doing this for Xingchen's happiness only" line is maybe not a good enough explanation, and he sort of wonders if Xue Yang is still somehow fucking with his head even though he's not a demonic cultivator anymore, and he kind of hopes that's it because all the other potential explanations are worse.

also now his problem is that Xue Yang seems to be actively trying to stay on the (more or less) straight and narrow (or at least the less violently illegal) and now he doesn't have an excuse to stalk him anymore, particularly since Xue Yang seems hellbent on tracking him down, which is problematic in a lot of ways, and really Song Lan should just move on and go somewhere else but that would mean leaving Xingchen again even though he's not even technically with Xingchen, just kind of hovering awkwardly in his vicinity, and-

(like I said, having a time.)

honestly though I really do feel for Xiao Xingchen in all of this because he's got all of the anxiety about his risk-taking boyfriend generally and the "something is going on but I have no clue what" confusion of Xue Yang and none of the context that Song Lan has for any of it.

[mxtxfanatic]

This is such an interesting take, because there are places I want to agree and others where I think it’s unfair to the autonomy the characters possess despite technically being book characters. Shen Jiu isn’t deprived of the chance to be good; he’s deprived of the chance to be seen as more than just a one-dimensional villain. Yes some of his actions were misconstrued (his sleeping at whorehouses, the times he attempts to save Liu Qingge, his relationship with Ning Yingying) but this is within the context of him ambushing Liu Qingge after the latter won a fair fight because he felt slighted, thus setting the tone of their entire relationship to one of mutual animosity. This is also in the context of him refusing to explain his actions because he didn’t want to be seen as weak or vulnerable, such as allowing others to believe he was a lecher because he thought that a man seeking platonic comfort from women was deplorable. He is seen as a villain even when he isn’t actively being one because he thinks being seen as a villain is better than potentially being seen as weak and in need of help. He’s afraid of being vulnerable.

And none of that takes into account when he is actively being a villain. Shen Jiu is a serial child abuser. He chases off multiple disciples from Qing Jing Peak, so much so that Yue Qingyuan is reluctant to allow him to take Luo Binghe on when he says he wants the boy as a disciple. And mind you, he only takes Luo Binghe on as a disciple to spite Liu Qingge, not because he had any interest of genuinely teaching the boy. He actively tries to kill Luo Binghe at multiple turns to feed his own ego and is honestly upset at his failed attempts. He relishes in hurting others because he has been hurt, and while yes he’s a book character, these are the inner machinations of his mind that PIDW readers were deprived of when the stallion novel released. They got the conclusion (sqq is scum!) but not the logic (sqq is following in the cycle of abuse that he was put into as a child).

Meanwhile, there’s Shen Yuan. There actually are moments in the book where he is punished for being nice: the whole first arc up until he unfreezes the OOC function, the Holy Mausoleum, and Maigu Ridge. He’s punished for so much as smiling at lbh after transmigrating in and has to come up with ridiculous and convoluted ways to treat the boy kindly without getting himself killed by losing too many points. It’s most of his arguments with the system at the beginning of the story. After that, there’s no downside to him being kind to lbh until after the abyss. The only time Shen Yuan knows that he will come back from death is when he self-destructs to save lbh from qi deviating. Then, he returns in the plant body without the system, meaning that he’s officially free from the plot. He could have taken that time to get the heck out of dodge, but instead, he seeks lbh out to his own detriment: restarting the system, putting him back on lbh’s radar, etc.

In the Holy Mausoleum arc, everyone is trying to kill lbh and Shen Yuan is the one who takes all the hits for his comatose disciple, knowing that he had no more extra lives saved up because the plant body was destroyed. Finally, we have Maigu Ridge. While the system wasn’t coercing Shen Yuan’s actions, he definitely put himself on the line to his own detriment to save lbh when he didn’t have to, first with the sex and then by self-destructing yet again. He was 100% expecting to die from that and it’s only because the system gave him a last-minute, one-time perk after he self-destructed that he came back to life. He could have just let lbh die on the mountain or the mausoleum; he chose not to because he loved him, even if he had to suffer for that love.

Shen Jiu was no more doomed by the narrative than Shen Yuan was redeemed for it; they each make choices that affect the outcomes of their stories. Shen Jiu commits to being a villain which spells his downfall. Shen Yuan commits to righting the wrongs of his predecessor which unlocks an ending he didn’t expect. Shen Qingqiu could never be redeemed through Shen Jiu and was never meant to be, because Shen Jiu was scum of his own volition. That’s what made Shen Yuan’s transmigration a necessity.

i love shen jiu because there’s just something deliciously horrifying about a character who was meant to be redeemed becoming doomed in the story because an author was pressured by readers to go in a different direction. what a cosmic horror for the character! you had the potential for good, the potential to be redeemed. all the seeds were there, and because of a million invisible hands you will never be able to comprehend you are thrust into the place of the villain. you cannot be saved and even when you are it can’t be as yourself.

it’s so interesting bc mxtx protags tend to be like ‘you were a hero because it is what was asked of you. but now that the world refuses it for you will you still choose to be good’, but sy is the only protag for whom that choice just…never quite comes?  there’s never quite a moment where being good would be the harder choice for him. even when he dies for lbh there’s the threat of system failure & the knowledge that he has a chance of coming back. at every turn his goal IS to be kind, as dictated by a seemingly omniscient being. in that way, sj occupies a much more traditionally tragic mxtx protagonist role - whenever he IS kind, he is ostracized by the world. when he tries to save lqg, when he’s kind to nyy, when he tried to shield qht…what did that get him? 

it’s soooo interesting that like many mxtx characters, he’s seen by the world to be awful but internally does try to do good, but because he is doomed by the narrative he never gets anyone who /understands/ him, which is the grace that redeemed both wwx and xl at their lowest points. yqy is the closest to fitting this role for sj, but he like. was a COWARD about shit and never tried to heal the rift between him and sj and also semi-believed the rumors by the end. he wasn’t like mxtx mls who are defined by ‘even if the world is against you, i believe in your heart’

yqy was like i will protect you without the i will believe in your heart part, which would’ve felt worse for sj. like he can protect himself fine!!! he needed someone to just, understand that he wasn’t the evil person ppl said he was.

a lot of people have spoken more eloquently than me abt how sj was deprived of the chance to be good because of his circumstances within the narrative, but i’m just fascinated by how he was deprived of the chance to be good because of something greater than that, a mass of god-like beings outside of the story, exerting their will for a black and white narrative where he can be the one to blame. even when he could’ve been redeemed, he couldn’t have. the world literally refused him the chance.

[nicklloydnow]

“In 1972, Lancelot wasn’t coming off as cleanly as Walker Percy would have liked. He was under intense, self-imposed pressure to produce another critically successful novel. A relatively new empty-nester, he was also drinking more heavily than usual, and was in something of a crisis of faith. Writing to his friend Shelby Foote, he said, “I’ve been in a long spell of acedia, anomie and aridity in which, unlike the saints who write under the assaults of devils, I simply get sleepy and doze off.” Percy being Percy, he inserts a wry, self-deprecating note into his reportage, but his travail with the affliction was very real.

(…)

Acedia made its way into modern parlance as sloth, a word we now associate with the supposedly benign vices of laziness or idleness. Percy knew better. In these couple of instances, he does indeed mention laziness and sleepiness, but he does so in the context of acedia’s more classic associations: as a complex, subtle, destructive habit of the soul—with a possibly demonic origin—that neglects the weightier matters of love of God and neighbor for more immediately gratifying pleasures. Moreover, he interprets acedia not just as an arcane spiritual malady of early monastics. Rather, it is a widespread, distinctly modern phenomenon that “has settled like a fallout,” as he says in The Moviegoer, and it is capable of imposing itself upon the modern person regardless of his or her affiliation with the religious life.

A wily demon, acedia is difficult to pin down. It’s a trickster, a shapeshifter, a boggart. It goes out of focus when you try to look directly at it. The term itself defies translation: despondency, sloth, lassitude, ennui, melancholy—each displays an aspect, none the full image.

The desert monks who first wrestled the demon acedia to the ground did so by grinding through their prayers in the pitiless heat of the Egyptian wilderness. In doing so they became superbly intimate with their failures. Evagrius had a theoretical bent and began cataloging the modes and patterns of failure he and his fellow monks encountered. Eventually he placed acedia at the center of a spectrum comprising the “eight thoughts,” the fountainhead of the seven-deadly-sins tradition. On the one side of the spectrum, he said, lie our animal or material vices; on the other, the vices of the intellect. Acedia, he said, is “the complex thought” because it stands at the center of the spectrum and thus assimilates aspects of both the material and the intellectual into itself.

Acedia causes the soul, hovering between a person’s animal nature and rational intellect, to shrink from contemplation or the possibility of contemplation. Reluctant to ascend to pure intellection, it becomes possessed of lethargy and stupefaction. Aridity and ennui take hold, giving rise to restlessness, mania, indolence, somnolence, discouragement—whatever will do to turn the face away from the fire of God’s love. The habit of acedia terminates in the failure of all hope. Acedia in extremis eventuates in despair and in some cases suicide. Thomas Aquinas says acedia pulls apart the constituent parts of the human being and then causes us to mistake the physical, transitory part of human existence for the whole. He calls this mistake “animal beatitude.”

The fundamental paradox of acedia lies in the fact that contemplation must be a possibility in order to experience it. Acedia is so dangerous because it involves a denial of the possibility that God has in fact saved us in the Incarnation. And it is so subtle because it manifests not as rebellion but by sedimenting into the habit of despair. Aquinas’s animal beatitude is not defiance of God but a loss of concern for salvation, a kind of spiritual disintegration. One might even notice one no longer cares about one’s salvation, but one doesn’t care that one doesn’t care.

(…)

Binx tells the reader early on in The Moviegoer that he used to read only “fundamental” books, such as War and Peace and Schrödinger’s What Is Life?—books that he thought would give him mastery over the world. Percy identifies two types of modern people: the theorist and the consumer. Theorists master the world according to abstract generalizations, eliminating the individual person. Consumers, Percy says, participate in “the goods and services of scientific theory”; but as passive, second-tier actors with regard to the ascendant philosopher-kings of modern science, they remain latently dissatisfied. Binx might be said to have renounced the life of the theorist only to have taken up the life of the consumer. Having been involved in scientific research on kidney stones in pigs, he instead became enchanted by the wonder of the world around him, gazing at dust motes in shafts of late-afternoon sunlight. Binx’s renunciation of the life of a theorist resulted from his encounter with something that was calling him beyond everydayness. But he failed to heed the summons of the search and instead slouched into the life of the consumer, pursuing money and women and hiding his despair from himself. Only years later does he notice the failure. The novel turns on his waking himself up from acedia, from the death-in-life of everydayness, and embarking on the search.

The product of both theory and consumption, Percy says, is “sadness and anxiety.” Aquinas says in reference to acedia that “no one can remain in sadness”; we can’t bear it, so we resolve it in some other action. One route we take away from sadness and anxiety is harm—of ourselves and others. Percy says that the denizen of the modern world, whether theorist or consumer, “can become so frustrated, bored, and enraged that he resorts to violence, violence upon himself (drugs, suicide) or upon others (murder, war).” But acedia, or everydayness, presents an opportunity not only for violence but also for real contemplation. Those cast out from both theory and consumerism have the opportunity to open themselves to the risk of something more. “In the old Christendom,” Percy says, “everyone was a Christian and hardly anyone thought twice about it. But in the present age the survivor of theory and consumption becomes a wayfarer in the desert, like St. Anthony; which is to say, open to signs.”

Acedia, once overcome, gives way to prayer. “Prayer,” Evagrius says, “is the elimination of sorrow and dejection.” In a way, then, acedia is the threshold of contemplation, provided one is willing to sit with it rather than flee from it. Spending the night at his mother’s cabin, Binx says he is “locked in a death grip with everydayness, sworn not to move a muscle until I advance another inch in my search.” When he does advance, it is by overcoming his “invincible apathy”—another daughter of acedia.

(…)

What does all this have to do with acedia? As the ultimate antidote to acedia, Thomas Aquinas recommends nothing less than the Incarnation itself. Acedia is a malady that pulls apart the animal and rational parts of our nature and pits them against each other. As the archetype of humanity, the incarnate Christ, fully God and fully man, not only perfectly joins body and mind and thus heals our deformed, schizoid human nature but also bears in himself the fullness of God’s sacramental presence in creation.

(…)

Percy maintained throughout his life that, “to the degree that a society has been overtaken by a sense of malaise, the vocation of the artist...can perhaps be said to come that much closer to that of the diagnostician.” The artist’s work, in other words, is not an autopsy but a diagnosis made in the hope of recovery—an attempt, he says, to “give the sickness a name, to render the unspeakable speakable.” Even when he is at his bleakest, Percy manages to counter despair with the possibility, however elusive, of hope. The fact that Lamar is speaking about—even confessing—his vengefulness and violence indicates as much; and the novel closes on the possibility of dialogical counterpoint, maybe even absolution. What will Percival the psychiatrist-priest say in response to Lancelot’s confession? The novel doesn’t tell us. But there are signs, even amid the darkness of Lancelot’s infernal vision, that Lamar could still move into the realm of contemplation. The question is whether we, the readers Percy is ultimately addressing, are able to recognize those signs.

Percy believed that the world is strewn with such signs, if only we are looking for them, and know where to look. It is all too easy to miss—or even blind ourselves to—the signs of the transcendent shot through the world of the everyday, and therefore to miss everything. But it is exactly in that world that we find Walker Percy, a voice in the wilderness crying out like a prophet, “He that hath ears to hear let him hear.””

“There often seem to be two camps of Percy readers: those who still treat him as Gospel Prophet of the Apocalyptic Modern World and those who think he is overrated, too outdated, or otherwise done to death. As a convert driven away from evangelicalism toward Catholicism largely through reading his (and other Catholic) novels, I am particularly interested in the rather strong opinions longtime or cradle Catholics tend to have of him. As image bearers of the One True Church, Catholics need to understand what people coming in from the outside see worth clinging to in Catholicism.

While I generally try to be understanding of people’s differing tastes, when I see Catholics criticizing him, misunderstanding him, or trying to dismiss his value, I am almost tempted to shake them, demanding: don’t you understand what a good thing you have here? (I am also tempted to throw in some profanity for good Percy-character measure.) Yet I suspect that in the case of Walker Percy, it may be a situation where if you have to ask what is so great about him, you might not understand the explanation. If you are uncomfortable with the aspects of his writing that are meant to evoke discomfort—and are leaving it at that—perhaps you are missing the point.

(…)

On a certain level, perhaps I can understand how some people might not appreciate Percy’s style. He was writing with such an intense focus on such a particular period in American culture that, if you are not looking hard enough, it can be hard to see the swamp for the moss. At certain times in my relationship with Percy, I have wandered off, unable to see how his obsessions with the banal sorts of evil that weigh us down every day could translate to my life—or perhaps I was simply too close to them.

For it seems to me that most of the charges our current culture might like to weigh against people like him—too comfortable with language about things like race and gender that now can grate against our postmodern sensibilities; too comfortable with making us uncomfortable with how difficult it is to truly face our lower natures—reflect the very people in his novels whom we are meant to see as lacking something vital.

(…)

I like to think it is this reality-centered aspect of Percy’s work that makes him particularly well suited for a time like Lent. It is why I feel this almost magnetic pull toward his books each year as winter gives way to Mardi Gras, reminding me of the physical and spiritual scenes that await. If we are uncomfortable with Percy for moral or aesthetic reasons, Lancelot is an ideal litmus test for getting us in tune with our own failings. In my case, the novel makes me squirm as it forces me to consider in an almost Dostoevskian sense how easy it can be to descend into evil once the word is stripped of its gravity or essence.

When getting from day to day becomes the most difficult obstacle—too familiar to anyone with depression or other chronic (physical or spiritual) ailments—larger mysteries can become nearly impossible to take seriously. Trapped with his own thoughts and a vague recollection of his capacity for evil, Lance just wanted to figure out the endless puzzle of living from one moment to the next. As he said of someone else, “All he had to do was solve the mystery of the universe, which may be difficult but is not as difficult as living an ordinary life.”

He did not know what words “meant” anymore; he just wanted love and a tall glass of something good. Spoken as a true citizen of Louisiana, Lance felt that “one of the biggest discoveries” of his life was this: “It was simply that there is such a thing as a beautiful day to go out into, a road to travel, good food to eat when you’re hungry, wine to drink when you’re thirsty, and most of all, 99 percent of all, no: all of all: a woman to love.”

(…)

Despite the long-windedness of some of his characters, Percy has a unique way of cutting through the fat to proclaim certain truths about human nature that are simultaneously peculiar to his time and relevant to all times. His anti-heroic heroes’ frequent inability to abide by such truths is merely a reflection of how impossible it is to live in a state of grace without constantly returning to its source—how frequently our own natures (not to mention our culture) impede our ability to recognize that grace, much less remain open to it.

That brokenness, as it dwells alongside a certain measure of conviction that we are made for something better, makes these books uncomfortable inasmuch as they are supremely relatable—far more so, arguably, than Flannery’s freaks or Waugh’s statuesque pilgrims of a bygone age. In all cases, however, it is that underlying conviction that Catholicism makes reality possible that ultimately redeems our pathetic attempts to attain it. Despite his characters’ crooked paths toward this truth, Percy never wavers.

(…)

A great strength of so much of the best Catholic literature is what might be termed a “proof by contrast”: the reality of the Church is demonstrated primarily by the obvious incompleteness or misunderstandings of opposing points of view. In this sense, I can understand the less aggressive approach to evangelization that I have tended to encounter among many Catholics. It is almost as if their apologetics could be summed up in another familiar Percy quote: “What else is there?””

[lilacmoon83]

Clarity

Also on Fanfiction.net and A03

Chapter 61: Only Human

"Sheriff's Department…open up," she called, but heard no one respond so she knocked again.

"Sheriff's department…" she called again and this time, she heard a voice croak a response.

"It's open…" he said, clearly male in tone. She opened it up and stepped inside.

"Hello?" she called, as she scanned the inside and finally saw someone laying on a seat inside.

"Hello Emma…" August, who was now very much completely wooden, said.

"August…" she uttered. The corners of his wooden mouth turned upward slightly.

"I'd say in the flesh…but yeah, there's none of that left," he replied.

"What happened?" she asked.

"I turned back to wood…completely," he stated.

"But I broke the curse…I thought that was supposed to fix you?" she asked. He struggled, but managed to sit up.

"Me too…but the opposite happened when the rainbow wave washed over me. I guess…I haven't been selfless, brave, and true. The Blue Fairy warned me I had to be or I would turn back to wood," he said.

"That's crap…no one can be selfless, brave, and true all the time. Flaws are what make us human and if she doesn't get that, then she knows nothing about what it means to be human," Emma replied. He smiled.

"She is a Fairy…and strives for perfection," he said.

"Well, she lied to my parents so she falls just as short as the rest of us in the perfection department," she replied, as he got up.

"We need to get you back to town," she said.

"I can't go back there, Emma," he replied.

"You have to…do you have any idea what's happened since the curse broke?" she asked.

"No…I haven't kept up," he replied. Emma huffed and sat down.

"Then get ready for a crash course and then we're going back to town," she said, as she proceeded to explain recent events.

~*~

Snow and David approached Granny's hand in hand, with Red following them and saw the gathering there that consisted of everyone that George had managed to whip into a frenzy.

"Well…there you are. The reason we're here at all and have been splashed all over the television and Internet for all to see," George said. Snow glanced at Granny, who nodded.

"They're breaking the story right now. That rich prick was true to his word and has some reporter showing the videos they have. With context," she explained.

"We're about to become a tourist trap and we'll be lucky if we don't all end up in a government facility somewhere," George spat.

"And it's her fault that we're here in the first place," he added, as rumbles of agreement spread through the crowd.

"Wrong…we're here, because of Regina and her curse," David retorted.

"Yet the Queen walks free, because once again, Snow White is reluctant to punish her stepmother for her crimes. She's as unfit to lead as you are, shepherd," George said.

"You mean lead like you did? Before I came along, you led your Kingdom into bankruptcy," David reminded.

"Your coffers were empty so you sacrificed your son, my brother, for gold and when he died, I took his place and you tried to marry me off to fill your coffers," he added, as he saw some of the people exchange glances. Snow placed a hand on his arm.

"We couldn't stop the curse…but we gave up everything to ensure there was an end to the curse and there was, thanks to our daughter," he added.

"What about the Queen?!" Whale shouted.

"She is free, because we have a common enemy and that's Narcissa Blake. She's the reason these interlopers have found their way into town. Only if we all unite can we stand against the danger that these outsiders pose," David said strongly.

"You can't herd us like sheep, shepherd. Why should we follow you, a lowly peasant?" George questioned smugly.

"Because I am just like the people you're pandering to. I know what it is to come from nothing," he said, as he looked to the people.

"He's manipulating you to turn on us. He's always looking to place blame on anyone but himself in a grab for power. He used to be allied with Regina, but as soon as she was out of power, he quickly sided with Narcissa. It's all he cares about, but my wife is different," he announced, as he looked at her.

"She gave up our child to make sure her people would someday get their lives back and their identities. She's your true leader," David said.

"The Blue Fairy has expressed her reluctance to follow you two again. You two are unwilling to punish the wicked and villainous," George countered. David smirked.

"Lucky for you or we would have executed you back in our land instead of just taking your Kingdom," he said, as there was agreement in the crowd with that. George frowned.

"And the Blue Fairy has proven that she may not be the best council. She lied to us about the wardrobe and it jeopardized our daughter's life. She should have had us or at least her mother to guide her, but she was alone in this world, abandoned and it haunts us every day," Snow said, as she looked at Marco and Archie, as she spotted them in the back.

"But this Blue Fairy and her sisters have proven to be far more trustworthy than Reul Ghorm," Snow added, as she smiled at Merryweather.

"I'm disappointed in you, Snow…" Blue chided, in an attempt to shame her.

"Likewise," David retorted coldly.

"She lied…because of me. I asked her to," Marco said.

"She didn't have to do as you asked," David replied.

"You would do anything for your daughter! I would do anything for my son! I was desperate! You have your daughter now…I have no son," Marco said.

"That's not true, Papa…" a voice said, as heads turned to find Emma there with a wooden August. Snow gasped and exchanged a glance with her husband.

"My…my boy…" Marco uttered, as he went to him, as Emma joined her parents, who hugged her between them, with her father cradling her head.

"It's good to finally see you, papa," August said.

"But…what happened?" he asked.

"I guess I wasn't selfless, brave, and true. The curse broke and I turned back to wood," he replied.

"I'm sorry August…but this was the price of magic," Blue said.

"You set him up for failure from the beginning!" Emma exclaimed, as all eyes turned to her again.

"No one is selfless, brave and true all the time. Being human means making mistakes and hopefully learning from them. You told him he had to be perfect, ensuring that he was doomed to fail, as any of us would, from the start," she added.

"Emma…you don't understand," Blue started to lecture.

"Oh I understand perfectly. We've heard about all the "help" you've given to others or rather all the people you've screwed over, including me and my parents," Emma said.

"She's right…and I'm just one in your long line of victims," Neal added, as he arrived with his father, who was enjoying seeing Blue be called out so publicly.

"Magic always has a price…ask the Dark One," Blue retorted.

"Yes…it does, but it always seems a bit steeper than it needs to be with you, dearie," Gold hissed.

"I know everything you've been up to…things that no one else knows," he added, as she looked a little worried.

"And I know things about you too, Dark One…" she challenged, as they stared each other down.

"Another reason not to trust the Charmings…they side with the Dark One!" George announced, creating commotion among the crowd.

"Things are never that black and white," David said.

"The scrutiny that's about to be on you and your wife will cause untold consequences, thanks to your theatrics in killing that beast," George countered.

"I fought Malachi to save my wife and anyone else that might get in his way. Have you ever picked up a sword to defend anyone but yourself? Or are you content just to send your soldiers to die for you? Including my brother," David replied. George growled and grabbed David by the collar, but Charming was far stronger and easily broke away from his hold.

"Ladies and Gentlemen…you can follow true leaders in Snow and Charming or you can follow this snake, who cares only for himself and his own power. Trust me…I'm a fairy too and know all about the disgraceful King George," Merryweather said, as she looked at Blue.

"And if you follow Reul Ghorm, she'll eventually betray you too," she added.

"Careful Merryweather…there is no magic here now, but if there ever is, it's talk like that which will give me cause to take your wings," Blue warned. But Merryweather smirked.

"Go right ahead, honey…this is a new world, as if you haven't noticed. I never should have obeyed you then when you ordered me away from Snow, but I won't make that mistake again. This family and this town will be protected by me and my sisters…especially from the likes of you," she announced.

"Well…I guess lines have been drawn. We'll see which side comes out on top," George said, as he walked away, taking a portion of the crowd with him, but a significant amount did not follow. It wasn't a complete win and meant division in the town, but Emma knew they were on the right side and they would eventually win over most.

"So…how bad do you think the world is freaking out right now?" Ruby asked the blonde. Emma sighed.

"It's hard to say. I mean…to be honest, there's a lot of people that don't believe in anything, even when it's right in front of them. I know, I used to be one of them," she said.

"So you think that they might think it's all fake?" Snow asked, with hope in her voice.

"Yeah…probably. I mean, the internet is full of fake stuff and CGI videos," Emma replied.

"I hate to rain on your optimism, but Aleister plans to open this place up as a tourist attraction. Some are going to see up close and personal. And probably soon," Neal said.

"Then we hope our little plan that's in the works soon pays off," David said.

"We need a back up if it doesn't," Gold reasoned.

"Witch Mountain…it can get us all out of this," Neal said.

"Except getting everyone there without being stopped is a long shot," Emma replied.

"So we make this place seem as normal as possible," Neal said. Emma looked at him incredulously.

"Uh…how the hell are we going to do that with Mr. Wizard over there using his wand like he's in some twisted version of Fantasia?" Emma questioned. He smirked.

"He's the only one with magic right now. He can put on his shows for the popcorn brigade, but we know that most people have the attention span of a goldfish," he said.

"Once they see that, despite the fancy magic shows at the shiny new Casino, the rest of the town is pretty normal and small, they'll lose interest," Neal said.

"I don't know…" Emma said skeptically.

"Come on…the town itself is still stuck in the eighties, including most of the technology. Our one screen movie theater is still showing Return of the Jedi, for crying out loud," he replied, making her snicker.

"Yeah…the Casino is still a problem though. It's going to attract people and he's going to keep growing and updating things around here," Emma said. He sighed, knowing she was right.

"We're forgetting something else too," Merryweather interjected.

"What's that?" Snow asked.

"This town has existed outside the country's government for twenty-eight years now. In addition to tourists, we may soon have the federal government here as well," she warned.

"Great…we are all going to end up in a government facility somewhere," David replied.

"Witch Mountain is our escape then…we have to figure it out, unless we get that wand," Snow said.

"If we can get this wand, we can cloak the town and expel the outsiders for good. We'd never be able to leave…but it's the best solution," Gold replied.

"Yeah…because the Internet is blowing up and people on social media are saying they're already planning to make their way here to see it in person," Red added, as she scrolled her phone.

"Seriously?" Emma asked.

"The video of David fighting the werewolf already has twenty millions views in just thirty minutes. This thing is going nuclear," Red replied.

"We need that wand…or you two won't be able to go outside without being mobbed," Gold warned, as he looked at the pair of true loves. Snow leaned her head against his arm. All that attention and scrutiny on her husband worried her for his safety greatly.

"Then we need a plan…and we need a good one," David said, as Maleficent approached.

"I want to help," she said.

"Oh you helped…" David retorted. She paused for a moment.

"I know…I made a mistake and that a lot of this is my fault," she said.

"You're right about that, dearie," Gold hissed.

"Lily…rejected me. She considers the Bolts her family and wants nothing to do with me. They've brainwashed her too," Maleficent said, as she looked at Emma.

"But maybe you can get through to her," she added.

"Me?" Emma asked. She nodded.

"You were best friends…she might listen if you try to make amends," Maleficent replied.

"I can try…but I brushed her off pretty harshly back then and if she decides that this is her revenge on me, I don't know if she'll listen to anything I have to say," Emma replied, as Maleficent's eyes pleaded with her. She sighed.

"But I'll give it a shot," she relented.

"Thank you," she said.

"For now…we should go eat. It might be the last time we can be in public for a while," Emma said sourly.

"Except we're going to have to still police the town," David added.

"No more foot patrols alone, Dad. It's going to be too risky for you," Emma said. He sighed.

"Em, I've slayed dragons and fought Black Knights," he protested.

"And let me tell you that rabid fans are way worse than both," she countered.

"Agree," Snow said, as he looked at her indignantly.

"Then we are going to need a couple more deputies if we're going to patrol in pairs," David said.

"I'm up for it," Neal said.

"Us too," Tony said, as he and Tia joined them.

"Welcome aboard then," Emma replied, as they went into the diner. Snow stopped him though and he turned back to her.

"Snow?" he asked, as she slipped her arms around his neck.

"I'm worried…about there being so much attention on you," she said. He smiled gently and pulled her close.

"I'll be fine, I promise…" he assured her.

"I know…I guess I'm just fighting that old instinct to run. Part of me wants to take you, Emma, Henry and everyone close to us and run for Witch Mountain," she admitted.

"Who could blame us? We gave up…a lot for people that don't seem to be very grateful," he said, as she rested her head against his shoulder and he kissed her hair.

"Ah…if it isn't my stars," Aleister said, as he arrived with Greg and a man they didn't recognize. Kurt followed them, looking none too happy.

"Go to hell," David spat.

"Oh…now that is not a very nice greeting to the man that has just made Prince Charming an action hero and a household name," he goaded.

"I don't want your fame and attention. Leave us alone," David spat, as they went into Granny's.

"You should check the Internet. They love you," he commented, as they followed them in. Greg seemed to follow his boss and when neither were paying attention, David leaned toward Kurt.

"We need that wand," he whispered.

"It's almost impossible with all his guards. But I heard something that might give us an opportunity," Kurt whispered.

"What is it?" Snow asked.

"Aleister said he wants to throw a grand ball, like the ones you had back in your land and invite everyone. Now, I know you would normally refuse to go to something like that and no one could blame you. But…it could be just the opportunity we need," Kurt answered.

"He's right…getting near him without guards would be impossible, but if he lets us right into the same room with him, we might have a shot," David said. Kurt nodded.

"Thanks for the heads up. We'll just have to surprise him and accept that invitation," he added. Kurt nodded and joined his son, before they could notice they were talking.

"The thought of going to a party thrown by that man is unappealing at best…but this could be it," Snow said. He nodded.

"We get that wand and we don't have to be the ones to leave our new home. We can get that wand to Merryweather and she can fix everything," he replied, as the man that they didn't recognize, started taking photos of them. Emma saw him and approached.

"Who the hell are you?" she asked. He smirked.

"Walsh…nice to meet you, beautiful," he replied.

"My name is Emma and you're going to delete those pictures of my parents while I watch you do it," she demanded.

"Sorry Emma…but there's no law against taking photos of my surroundings and this will be a great follow up to the groundbreaking broadcast I just reported on," he said.

"So you're the reporter…" she said.

"And so much more…maybe we can get a drink sometime," he offered.

"When monkeys fly," she spat in return.

"Granny…can we get that order to go?" she called.

"Already on it," the old woman replied, as it came up and she grabbed it.

"Let's go back to the loft," she said, as she turned to Gold and Neal.

"Are you coming?" she asked. Neal smiled and nodded, as they followed. Things had changed drastically in just a few moments and she didn't like it at all. They needed to fix this and they needed to fix it soon…