#and I wanted to feel included in their conversations

[meganegatari]

regret & saudade; loose threads ⭑.ᐟ

Made to attend a basement party in your heartbroken state, you come face to face with Ellie—your ex, the one you can’t forget. Tension lingers in every glance, every remark, as saudade thrums between you, a love lost but never gone. In the haze of liquor and longing, the night may unravel—and even reignite.

☆: this a collab with the loveliest of lovely people, @bloodstainedsapphic ♡ musing about this with you was the most fun thing ever, i don't know how i'll ever be able to express just how talented you are, and how thankful i am for all your contributions here!! ...i mean chat, all the credit goes to lyss. i'm serious!! thank you sm lyssbug, and i better see yall thanking her too!! hope y'all enjoy :) ellie's m.list.

◇: 18+ mdni. alcohol consumption, ellie’s a little mean (she's hurt), reader as well + tension, tension, and more tension. whiny sub!ellie x mouthy dom(ish)!reader, oral & nipple sucking (e! recieving), and she has hip tattoos lol. also contains angsty themes and a purposely ambiguous ending. ++ 3.6k word count.

Getting dragged out of bed for a basement party hosted by a friend of a friend was the last thing you wanted tonight. Yet, here you were, begrudgingly getting ready—much to your dismay—to indulge your friends’ wishes.

Parties weren’t exactly a common occurrence in Jackson, at least not ones that didn’t involve the community church. Hardly anyone bothered to put energy into organizing gatherings for the young folk to get drunk and act recklessly when survival took precedence. Still, once in a blue moon, someone made an effort, and word spread fast.

Yes, you understood why your friends insisted. They meant well. This was a rare chance, and they were worried about you, trying to pull you out of the misery pit you had plummeted into recently. Woe is you for having people who care, even if their grand solution included shuffling you into a crowded, musty room with cheap booze for a few hours.

But this was also the last party you wanted to be at for one crucial reason: your ex, Ellie, was bound to be there.

Your ex wasn’t any more of a party animal than you were, but you were sure the extroverted mutual friends who had adopted you both had undoubtedly coaxed her into going, just as they had with you.

There was simply no sugarcoating it. You had been drowning in the throes of heartbreak hell in the weeks since you and Ellie broke up. The decision itself was “mutual”—whatever the fuck that meant. Anyone with half-open eyes could recognize that unresolved feelings were lurking beneath the surface.

But still, you were somehow convinced that Ellie was coping with the heartache better than you. Mainly because you were managing it so terribly, it’d be difficult for her to be in worse shape. The thought of seeing her and proving your suspicions either way made your stomach churn.

Conjuring up the will to act like a functioning human for the night, you finally joined Hesse half a block away from the house and made your way over.

The space wasn’t anything special. Just another grungy basement, stuffy with age and ever-rotating crowds of partygoers. The wallpaper peeled, curling inward on itself, and the flooring was adorned with decades’ worth of spills and stains. A decent time hinged on the hope that everyone would get wasted enough to forget the unsavory details.

The liquor was crowdsourced—meaning passable but plentiful. Your beeline to the booze might have earned a few raised eyebrows, but you couldn’t be bothered to give a damn.

Ellie’s eyes found you just as you were taking in the low-lit room.

Already nestled in a corner and nursing her umpteenth drink, she was just intoxicated enough to sharpen her spite but not enough to embolden her to speak up—yet. You didn’t take long to find her either, carefully coordinating fleeting glances and using purposeful posturing to feign indifference.

Ellie tracked your every move, attentive to your every step and person you conversed with.

There was some mutual delusion: Ellie misread your avoidance as proof that you were doing just fine, and you misread her detachment in a similar vein. You both assumed the other was moving on when nothing could have been further from the truth.

Ellie had opted for a darker outfit than usual, all black, practically wearing the heartache on her sleeve. Her loosely buttoned cotton shirt hung amply off her frame, adding to her almost ghostly appearance. Her auburn hair, slicked back and muted, due for a wash, looked much less lively than it used to. The speckled ivy green of Ellie’s eyes had dulled, something far more monotone. Her undereye bags lay heavier, cheeks hollowed, a gauntness that was concerning for a girl already thin. Maybe you’d make a snide comment for Dina to pass on just to get her fed—not that you cared. You just didn’t like seeing the girl look like a husk of your Ellie- err, the one you used to know.

And—fuck. that necklace. It looked an awful lot like the one that had vanished from your nightstand months ago.

Wearing it was all but a confession of Ellie’s true feelings—that her apathy was merely a poorly executed act.

You slammed back the first drink too quickly, the burn hardly registering in your throat. The second glass didn’t fare any better. After a few more pours, the alcohol softened your edginess enough to lax you into joining conversations, to dance, to let your friends pull you into something resembling fun—even striking up idle chatter with a few pretty girls, acting as if it wasn’t just to dull the ache.

An indiscernible span of time passed, your focus clouding into a haze that lets you briefly forget the grievous weight in your chest, even if it didn’t wholly undo it.

Then, a brief yet audacious tap on your shoulder.

You already knew who it was from the distinct way her pointer fingers pressed into your skin.

“You’re out tonight?” Ellie bit out as a greeting, her suffering more pronounced now that she had closed the distance. Her stare, once dimmed, had reignited, brimming anew with an irate temper. Ellie wasn’t the jealous type, but the combination of alcohol and the sight of you mingling with other girls stirred something unfamiliar and ugly within her.

“I am. are you?” You asked snarkily, starting with the obvious of this tense reunion.

Ellie’s eyes twitched, brows furrowing. Your response went unappreciated but was understandably deserved. She wet her lips to buy another second before spitting out another question, too quickly to be casual.

“You come with anyone?”

Your eyes glossed over with irritation, this being the first conversation Ellie had dragged you into after weeks of silence. Her question seemed like a placeholder for everything else she wanted to say, though it came out too bluntly. The people you’d been distracting yourself with blurred into the background now that Ellie was here, her nerves showing with every crack in her composure.

“Nope,” you snipped. “You?”

“Nope,” she replied, exaggeratedly popping her lips at the ‘p’ sound. It sounded forced, like she was trying to make herself sound more confident than she felt.

Ellie shifted her weight onto one hip, her gaze raking a slow once-over of your form. Pretending she didn’t already have your every dip and curve memorized. Your eyes flicked across the room, grasping for any excuse to escape this friction, but naturally, the friends who had dragged you out tonight were suddenly nowhere to be found.

"Didn't know you were the type to move on so fast, getting cozy with a few girls over there..." Ellie remarked, her voice hung with bitterness, not even trying to hide her hurt there.

Your jaw clenched, miffed by the implication behind her words. "Dudn't know you were the type to care. Or even notice..."

“Pfft. I don’t. Just funny watching you act like you’re over it,” Ellie replied, trying to play it cool, but her voice cracked, betraying her defensiveness.

You narrowed your eyes. “That right?”

Ellie shrugged, drawing another lazy sip from her glass. “Yeah. s’cute, really. Watching you pretend.”

Your blood boiled at the way she said it, like she wasn’t just as much of a wreck as you. Like she hadn’t been staring at you all night.

“Ellie, you’re not cool enough to act like this-“ you rip into her with a sneer. You never pictured you’d speak to each other in such a way, but harshness felt like the only language you shared left, especially in tandem with her own cruel barbs.

Ellie’s tongue poked the inside of her cheek, a tell she’d never grown out of. The callout cut deep, knowing you still saw right through her. Ellie’s fingers started to tap the length of the glass, keeping a rhythm to compensate for the fidgeting she often did when nervous. Another tell she couldn’t hide.

“Yeah, okay,” her voice wavered, but then she turned her attention to finishing her glass swiftly, struggling to cling to that false bravado that was irking you past your breaking point.

“Ellie—” you spat her name venomously, shielding your sadness with anger. “If you have something you want to say, we can go somewhere else.”

Ellie’s cheeks roseated, the weight of you threatening her to put her money where her mouth is sinking in. The liquor had clearly obscured her foresight into the risks of confronting you so impudently.

Not letting Ellie another chance to deflect, you grabbed a fistful of her onyx-colored shirt sleeve and tugged her from the foggy crowd to an isolated corner, into a dark hallway, finally ducking into a cramped, dingy storage room long left unfinished. You shut the door. no working lock. Just great.

In the time you had fiddled with the old, janky handle, Ellie had already slipped back into the jaded facade she wore at the start of your encounter. The awkward, needy girl was buried deep, but not deep enough. The blush on her cheeks, the stutter in her words, the way her breath hitched when you got too close—proof enough she wasn’t as composed as she wanted you to think.

You just had to figure out how to crack her open.

Stepping closer, you caught that false smirk creeping back onto her lips. You wanted to smack that cheshire grin off her face, but the fragility you could see in her eyes—despite her best efforts to conceal it—only fueled your fire.

“You’re so goddamn frustrating,” you snap, voice raw with irritation. “Thought maybe for once you could talk to me like a normal person-or, imagine, like the girl you claimed to love-”

Ellie swallowed thickly as you came closer with every word. Hell, she looked so good, even in this state. The scent of alcohol on her breath, the sliver of skin peeking through the buttons of her top, the closeness of her rouge lips—it was causing the last of your composure to slip. Your heart raced as the room seemed to shrink, leaving only the two of you.

If words weren’t enough, maybe a more physical approach would crumble her defenses.

In that moment, a sly grin spread across your face. Time for a bit of mischief.

Nearly chest-to-chest, breaths merging together, you reach up and begin toying with the hem of Ellie’s cotton shirt, and descend to the gleaming buttons on her jeans. Right as you make contact, you hear her hiss out a sharp breath, the derisive edge in her voice sends a chill down your spine.

“Missed me that much, huh? You were always so impatient.” She clicks her tongue. But you knew Ellie, you knew this was all a “tough-guy” act. She was not going to let you get under her skin so easily, not without a fight.

The chuckle that passes your lips is a scornful sound, her ears perk up in curiosity as to what you're planning.

After a moment of wrestling with the skin-tight denim—she's free. Ellie takes the liberty to pull her shirt up a touch, and the mere sight of her dark, wisplike happy trail leaves your mouth watering. Your eyes flicker up to hers; keenly, expectantly scanning her delicate features.

Most unfortunately, Ellie returns nothing worth celebrating, her facade still clambering to stay mighty. Just observing, cool fern eyes low—almost kubrick-esque—everything still under control. For now.

You continue undressing her, undoing her shirt and exposing her pale torso. Fuck, what a specimen. Eggshell and cinnamon skin, soft and supple as far as the eye can see. The thin fabric clings to her shoulders, and you push it aside to look upon her chest.

Luckily for you, she doesn't believe in bras, letting her dusty pinkish nipples harden when the air grazes her skin. Ellie lets out the quietest sigh, almost inaudible, but you still catch it and throw her a smirk. Her eyes roll, she's still acting unimpressed.

“Keep going then,” she drawls.

You ghost your mouth over her skin, before taking her nipple in between your lips and sucking. You snake your tongue over the bud and gently pinch the other one with two fingers. Still determined to break her, you look up again. She makes no noise, just tilts her head back until it hits the wall supporting her with a dull thud. You had to do more, you needed to.

Moving to press hot kisses in the valley of her chest, you drag your mouth lower, lower, and lower, until you end up on your knees with her still-clothed crotch an inch from the tip of your nose. With her help, her jeans are discarded into a heap to your right. The tight boxer shorts she was wearing hugged her lean thighs in such a way, you couldn't resist lurching forward and sinking your teeth into the flesh.

Above, you hear something resembling a startled gasp—there you go, the beginning of the end.

Making quick work of her undergarment, Ellie leans against the wall, bare before you. You look up once more at her, but in the perfect moment in time to spot a scarlet flush spread from her chest, up her neck, and decorate her cheeks. There's a crease forming in her forehead as well. You spot her hip tattoos, the ink was striking. Running your tongue along the linework, you taste her skin—salty-sweet.

Simultaneously, you drag your hands up and down the sides of her legs, feeling goosebumps rise as you pass over. Her breaths quickly go shaky, her primal need for your mouth on the crescendo of her thighs overtaking her. Slowly but surely, you were achieving your goal.

“God Els, you're so wet. Seems like you missed me more, hmm?” You titter, voice smooth as syrup, to which she grunts almost in annoyance, neither confirming or denying your tease.

“Sure you weren't so desperate, you came here just for me? Because you wanted to get eaten like a slut?” You hear her exhale shake. Your degrading words—like clouds of miasma—infected her entirely, she didn't know whether to be embarrassed or even more turned on.

Fucking finally, your tongue parts her folds; silken and dripping for you. Smoothly moving forward in and pushing her thighs apart, you take more of her into your mouth. The taste of her arousal makes your head spin, and you don't even register the fact you're lightly moaning into her core already. You missed this. You missed her. You missed the feel of her hot skin, her signature Ellie attitude, her sweetness and how she reacted to your touch—even more than you'd like to admit.

Your eyes close instinctively, and you lick a stripe from her needy hole up to her puffy clit, feeling the bud twitch on your tongue. You wrap your lips around it, and she almost wails. Although Ellie, as clever as she is stubborn, stifles her whines with a clenched fist. When you hear the cut-off cry, your gaze snaps upward. she's biting down on her own flesh, hard, her teeth causing the knuckles to discolor. The blush on her cheeks is approaching maroon, obscuring her freckles, and her eyes are screwed shut. She can't hide the tremors or the panting breaths, though.

You keep devouring her, getting more and more drunk the longer her essence invigorates your senses. She pleads for you some more, albeit impolitely, “Hurry- ah—harder, more…”

Your grip on her hips intensifies, nails leaving marks right next to her tattoos, adding to the artistry already there. She begins to whimper, the small, pathetic sounds of an impending defeat causing heat to spread in your own abdomen.

You tongue fuck her into oblivion, pushing the muscle inside her until you feel her walls pulsing around you. Your nose bumps at her clit, eliciting high pitched pleas from her.

At a glance again, you see there's nothing hiding her mouth, and the hand that was aiding her has moved to join her other one—bracing against the wall. You had Ellie utterly wrecked.

She teeters, rickety legs trembling and struggling to hold her upright. A gush of slick runs down your chin, and she squeals. Unable to hold back any longer, she starts begging you to cum.

Her voice is strained, wobbly. “Please, fuck-!! Ah…c'mon…come onnn.”

Music to your ears.

Smiling against her thumping clit, you continue to suck until her rhythmic pants are all you can hear. The climbing volume was more satisfying than you could have ever envisioned and you never wanted to let up.

“Ah, ah, ah— m'so close, pleasepleaseplease.” She pleads with vehemence, damn near calling on divinity to finish. It was ironic really, there was nothing holy about this.

Her pussy seizes and her body tenses before she's hit with the most forceful orgasm she's ever felt. Silent moans choking in her throat, you messily lap at her folds until you feel the flutter, and hear the most beautiful cry of pleasure.

She's loud, unabashedly so, the pornographic nature of the scenario before you making your face grow hotter than the sun. You lick up every drop of warm cum from her, savoring both the ambrosial taste of her, and the sight of her coming undone like this.

Low groans and mumbles transition to high-pitched squeaks, a telltale sign you were entering overwhelming territory. She's sniveling, all semblance of composure long gone. Babbled cries ring through the small space, all she can muster falling out of her, “Fuck, fuck, shit..okay, hahhh—”

You dont let up and fuck her through her high until she shakes above you, seemingly brought to tears by the sensation. You drag your tongue through her folds one last time, just for the hell of it, and to solidify all this in your memory, before kneeling back to examine what you made of her.

Her chest was steadily rising and falling, she was leaning against that solitary wall, legs quaking and about to give, completely out of it.

The blissed out look on her face was ethereal, she was still so pretty. Through everything, you'd always find your way back—lost in those springlike, agate-ringed greens.

You jump up to her level and yank her towards you by her—your—necklace, making her jolt and snap out of the post-orgasm euphoria. Roughly, you crash your lips onto hers. Ellie’s lips part to let your tongue in, and a guttural moan rips out of her when she tastes herself on you.

You gingerly pull away, trying to ignore the ache in your heart that blossoms when you notice her chasing your lips.

The pair of you are winded and still looking at each other with saucer-wide eyes, the intensity of what you did catching up to you as the bliss wore off. Automatically, you reach to hold her hand, but she pulls away and avoids your sympathetic stare. She looks up and down, side to side, pretending to be interested in the peeling wall behind her.

Seeing her uneasiness, you clear your throat. “Ellie, um…you okay?” Your voice is mellow and gentle, the complete opposite of what it sounded like earlier.

Ellie sighs and briskly nods, brushing any and all concern away. She meets your eyes, and you notice the vibrant green dulled once again—almost appearing gray, like wilted leaves amidst a drought.

Her expression was hard to read. Her cheeks are flushed and her skin is glossy, indicating physical satisfaction, but there was a certain longing there too. The way she fidgeted with her fingers, the way she pursed her lips ever so slightly—she misses you.

You absentmindedly begin to collect yourself, wiping the remnants of her from the lower half of your face, all while readjusting your shirt. You turn towards her, buttoning up Ellie's shirt and straightening the collar—you give her a meek smile when she lets you fix her up, both of you unsure of what to say. The air feels odd, not quite heavy, but cold. “Let's go back, play it cool.” You chuckle and attempt to crack a joke to lighten the awkward mood. Ellie simply huffs.

Accepting that it’s time to snap back to reality. You breathe in a sharp breath to compose and ground yourself. “I miss you, come back to me", was sitting just behind your teeth, but you steeled yourself and pushed those old feelings away.

It was too soon to unpack anything right now. Not to mention both of you still being drunk—in more ways than one.

Ellie starts, “We should leave separately, y'know, so no one suspects anything.”

“Oh for sure, yeah. Go- go, before everyone starts asking questions-“ you usher Ellie out with an instinctive hand pressed to her back, all but throwing her out of that cramped, now-suffocating space for the sake of avoiding becoming the town’s gossip. In Jackson, rumors tended to spread faster than a wildfire.

Ellie left, and you were all alone in the space. Your body's framework crumples weakly against a corner, overcome with emotion. You couldn't help but reminisce—silently lamenting for her in the dim, stuffy room.

But there was still a party going on, if you stayed in there any longer, it would become suspicious rather fast. You push thoughts of Ellie away into the abyss where you made sure the padlock was not planning on breaking. You threw the key away, but for good this time, you vowed to yourself.

Ellie had likely whisked herself away into the kitchen to get a light snack—you remembered that sex always made her hungry afterward.

You hear a familiar song start playing from the main room, something you could try to sway along to and you put on a faint smile—as genuine as you could muster, hoping to rejoin conversations as casually as you had left them. You slip out of the small storage space, closing the door behind you, hoping it’s not symbolic of where things stand with Ellie.

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[maskedcrawford]

Second Chances

G-Dragon x Reader

Summary: Years after breaking up and seeing each other at events you and Ji-yong reconnect and decide if you really want to be with him or if you're done with him for good.

Warnings: Angst with fluff at the end.

A/N: I had two extremely similar requests so I paired them together. I hope this is what you two Anon's were looking for in your requests. If not, let me know. Not proof read so please excuse mistakes! Also I plan to work on part 3 of Hidden Secrets tonight. Check out my masterlist to get caught up on the series <3

Requests are OPEN

Being apart of 2ne1 was a dream come true. Your group was at the top of the charts and so was your name along with a very famous rapper professionally named G Dragon, aka Kwon Jiyong. The two of you were Korea’s most infamous couple, everyone, including your own band members, swore you were endgame. They came up with ship names, there were constant edits of you guys, life was great.

Or at least until it wasn’t. Life does what it does and gets in the way, conflicting schedules meant not seeing each other nearly enough and personal affairs became a hindrance. Then there were rumors about both of you cheating on each other, which wasn’t true, but YG wasn’t a fan of the negative controversy so then they weighed in putting pressure on both of you and it all just became too much.

The day it happened you knew it was coming, but you still didn’t want to accept it. You and Ji had been sitting at the kitchen table, having the same old conversation. But that night it was different.

“I just don’t think we can do it anymore, y/n,” his voice was quiet. It was breaking both of you.

“With the pressure of the label, never seeing you,” he trails off as he feels the tears in his eyes.

“Tell me you don’t love me,” you stand up off your chair and walk over to him looking down and moving his face to where he has to look at yours.

“You know I can’t say that,” He says like he’s begging you to stop.

“Then we can do it, we have to. I don’t,” your voice cracks with tears blurring your vision.

“I don’t want to lose you,” you shut your eyes tight.

“I don’t want to lose you either,” he stands up and gives you a long warm hug as you soak his t shirt with your tears.

“This isn’t easy for me,” he sighs as he lets you go. It feels way too soon as he doesn’t spare you another glance as he walks out the door.

And now, every time you see him, it’s a reminder of that painful night. You see him around, both of you being idols and having performances in the same places will cause that. The first place you seen him was a runway show for Chanel, and that was only 3 days after your break up. You were sat on the opposite side of the runway with a direct line of sight to him as he sat in the front row. There were many stolen glances between you two but neither of you spoke. Then there were the Mama awards, where you both were supposed to perform. Again the same song and dance. Both of you glancing at the other, wanting to talk, to make up and yet neither of you did.

After a while you could see Jiyong and not feel the same kind of pull, the one that wanted closure. You had accepted what had been and gotten to a place where you could fully support him, quietly, but still.

It’s the opening night of your tour, having been part of 2ne1 meant you were also able to do solo projects. Of course, your girls were there with you to support you.

“This is going to be so amazing!” Sandra says as she claps her hands excitedly.

“You ready for this?” CL asks.

“As I’ll ever be.” You say feeling the nerves kick in, you excuse yourself to the bathroom and while you’re gone, CL brings the girls together.

“You’re never going to guess who’s here tonight,” she whispers.

“Who,” Minzy asks.

“Ji-yong,” she smiles big and the girls go silent for a moment.

“Does she know?” Bom asks nervously. CL just shakes her head. You back in the room seeing them huddled and you raise a brow.

“What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” they say in unison; the way you know they’re hiding something from you but you can’t prove it.

“Mhm, well I go on in 2 minutes so,” you motion them to leave so you can grab your mic and race off to the side of the stage. The lights go down and you get into place hearing the roar of the crowd as your silhouette is shown behind a screen.

During the last song before the small break your band gets, you see him. There in the 3rd row from the stage. His hair brightly colored and hard to miss. He’s giving you a proud, satisfied smile. You freeze for a moment before getting back into the groove of the dance moves. You flit your glance to him throughout the rest of the song. When your band leaves the stage you address the audience.

“You guys having a good time?” they all cheer and you smile.

“Awesome, Awesome!” You begin to walk around.

“Can you sing, You’re the One?” You look in the direction of the voice you hear.

“What was that?”

“You’re the One, can you sing it? The song with G Dragon,” she smiles wide. Your eyes go wide for a half second before you compose yourself.

“Uh,” you half laugh, “Yeah I don’t, I don’t see why not,” your eye go to where he was sitting but he’s gone. You feel relief crash over you, until a stage hand comes over to pull you off stage for a second.

“Whats up,” you say as your eyes land on the familiar man from the crowd. You both stare at each other for a moment, really taking it in.

“You want to do it, together? Like old times?” he ask shyly. Your heart starts beat faster.

“If you’re up for it,” you give him a warm and inviting smile despite the current anxiety you’re in. You notice behind him that CL is standing there watching you and you realize that this was what they were hiding. You slightly frown at her and she gives you two thumbs up.

You walk out on stage, “Ok, well I have a surprise guest for everyone, including myself,” you laugh into the mic.

“Everyone, please help me welcome, the one, the only, infamous G-Dragon!” you shout into the mic as the crowd goes crazy. He steps out confident as ever and stands beside you.

“Let’s do it,” he says cooly. The song begins and you both move to the beat, you raise the mic to your lips to sing the lyrics and he’s staring at you intensely. That familiar pull he once had on you, the one you swore was gone, is back. You want to feel his hands around your waist, his lips back on yours and the way he smells, you never want the smell to leave you again. He beings singing his part and his mind is going crazy along with his heart.

He stares at you, the way the lights shine off your sparkly outfit, the way you move your hips to the beat of the song, how you walk with utter and complete confidence on stage. He missed you more than he ever wanted to admit, even after all this time. For the last chorus of the song you two come together, he holds you close to him as he sings looking directly into your eyes and you blush due to the proximity.

You both sing the last line and stare into each other’s eyes for a moment when the crowd erupts. Its all background noise, though, as you see what looks like longing and regret in his eyes. He lets you go, hesitantly staring at you for a beat more before raising the mic to his lips.

“Goodnight, Seoul,” he says, “and Goodnight, y/n,” he says before winking at you and walking off stage with nothing but confidence.

You watch him walk off and feel that familiar pit in your stomach. The concert goes on as usual and eventually comes to end, your girls crowding around you to hug you and celebrate. You give them an annoyed look though once you’re in the dressing room.

“I can not believe you kept that from me!” You say astonished.

“I didn’t know he was planning on getting on stage!” CL defends.

“But you knew he would be here, and you knew I hadn’t told him about the concert,” she interrupts you.

“Y/n, jagi, I’m sorry, I know I should’ve told you. But if you’re really over him, why are you so upset?” she gives you a knowing look. The girls knew you weren’t over him; you had convinced yourself but not them.

“Maybe you should talk to him,” Minzy suggests as she walks up.

“Nope, I’m not going to reopen that wound,” you say defiantly.

“Sounds like it’s all ready opened,” CL mumbles and you shoot daggers at her.

“Can we just celebrate please? I’d like to remember this as a good night,”

“Oh it’s definitely one you’ll remember,” Bom speaks up with a chuckle and another look is thrown her way now.

The next morning you wake up to your social media flooded as well as texts from CL.

“Dude, have you seen this?” She sends you a link to a tiktok that has a video from last night with you and Jiyong singing before more music starts playing with old photos and a short video of you two goofing off comes up. Fan edits were being made and you were being tagged in a ton of them.

“Holy crap,” you whisper.

“Are they actually back together?”

“It was just for the show.”

“So does this mean my parents are endgame again?”

More and more comments questioning you and Jiyong’s relationship flooded video after video, picture after picture and post after post across the web. As you get dressed for the day you get a call from an unknown number.

“Hello?”

“Seem’s we’re popular,” you hear his deep voice say as he chuckles.

“Ji,” you say, a little desperate than you meant for it to sound.

“Listen, I don’t know what you’re doing today, but if I remember correctly, you never did two shows back-to-back,” you listen intently.

“So, if you’re free tonight, come over. I want to talk to you.” His voice is hopeful. It’s not like you could lie to him, your schedule was posted all over social media by now so telling him you had a show was easily disproven. You sigh into the phone rubbing your forehead.

“What time?”

“7, and come in something comfortable, I’m making dinner.”

“Since when did you cook?” you tease.

“Since you taught me to make your favorite meal,” he teases back and you blush with a small smile creeping up on your lips.

“I’ll see you tonight,”

“See you then, jagiya.”

Your heart skips a beat at the pet name. Sure, others called you that as a term of endearment but from him, it meant something different. You stand in front of his door in sweatpants and a loose-fitting shirt. The man said casual wear so you went comfy, after all with all the discomfort that could come from tonight, you wanted to be as comfortable as possible. He opens the door, the smell of your favorite dish hitting your nostrils.

He smiles, he’s got his hair ruffled a bit and his glasses on, he steps aside to let you in and the memories from you years long relationship floods back to you. Most things were the same. A few new art pieces, a new sculpture even.

“Nice to see not much has changed,” you say as he walks a past you into the kitchen. You follow him and sit down at the bar. Princess Zoa hops onto the counter and greets you with soft purs and rubbing her head against your hand.

“And of course the princess herself,” you baby talk the cat and out the corner of your eye you can see Ji staring at you, a content smile on his face as he watches you with his cat-child.

He plates the food and you both eat, neither of you sure what to say.

“You really did do great, last night,” he comments after a moment of silence.

“Thank you, I’ll be honest I was surprised to see you.” You look up from your plate to find him all ready looking at you.

“CL invited me,” he admits.

“I wasn’t going to go at first, I wasn’t sure if you’d want me there.” You just look at your plate and he’s hoping you’ll say something.

“Ok, maybe you didn’t,” he mumbles pushing food around on his plate.

“What do you want me to say, Ji-yong?” Your fork clanks against the plate as you turn your whole body to look pointedly at him. He looks at you, shrinking a bit. He wasn’t sure how to do this, not really.

“Do you want me to say that I never moved on? That I still think about you, especially when I’m out and I see clothing I know you’d love. That I miss you being in bed next to me? That I miss sleeping over here and waking up to your cats gently making biscuits or laying loafed up on one of us? That I miss how you would always give me kiss on the forehead first thing when you woke up?” your eyes are frantic and he can see the panic and fear in them after you unload everything that needed to be said.

“Or how about that I miss the way your lips felt, the smell of your cologne, or the way you would always have a slight skip in your step when you had a really good day.” He looks at you stunned.

“What about how I miss the way you used to look at me, or how you could make me feel like I was the only girl in the world you’d ever look at. Or how,” he cuts you off with a passionate, deep slow kiss. You freeze for a moment before giving to the desire you’ve had since the day he left.

You both pull apart and he takes your hand leading you to the couch in the living room. He sits down and pulls you down beside him.

“Jagiya,” he whispers as he puts your foreheads together, “I’ve missed you so much.” You can feel tears pricking your eyes and you blink them back. His lips attach to yours again in another slow kiss, he cups your face with his hands and you hold onto his wrist.

“Ji-yong, you left me. I don’t understand,” you croak, emotion welling up in your throat.

“I know, and I’m sorry y/n,” he sighs as he pulls away from you to look at the ground.

“I let the label and what everyone else said get to me and I thought that letting you go was best for both of us, that we could find other people and be happy, but I’m not,” he looks deep into your eyes.

“I’m not happy at all, without you this means nothing to me. If you’re not in the crowd cheering me on I’m not the same G-Dragon. Without you here, without you home I’m not the same Ji-yong. I need you like I need air to breathe.” You feel a stray tear fall onto your cheek and he wipes it away with thumb.

“I’d like another chance, a chance to love you properly, to spoil you and show you just how much you mean to me,” he pleads.

“Oh, Ji,” you pull his face to you and kiss him again and you feel him smile against your lips.

“Is that a yes?” he quirks his brow and you smile.

If you enjoyed and would like to support me, buy me a coffee

“Yes,” you give him a hug and he pulls you into him, cuddling you on the couch.

[miwiheroes]

Hii, not really a question but I'm rewatching s2 and I noticed a parallel between the "we like steve... but we don't love steve" and Nancy stammering quite a bit to say "I- I do" and Mike having a similar response during his fight with El. I don't really know if you or someone else had already noticed that but felt the need to say it

Dropping Byler Evidence Every (Other) Day Until Season 5

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . Day 32: Murray's Conversation w/ Jancy . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ .

@j-gvellthings hope u don't mind I hijacked ur ask to use for my post thing i just think this is uber interesting <3

Honestly, that whole conversation with Murray and those scenes could absolutely apply to Byler and Jancy at the same time. In some moments, I feel like what he says could actually apply to Mike more than Nancy.

Jancy say they're "just friends" here ^^ and obviously,,, if you've watched literally any romcom or show with romance in, you'd know that if someone is a little two defensive about the two of them being friends, then the audience is supposed to imply that they could be something more than that -- which happens with Byler in S4, when Mike unnecessarily calls them friends. It's not in the same context obviously, but Mike takes it romantically.

Murray also says that Jonathan and Nancy have 'shared trauma' which is apparently the 'real shit' (meaning the apex of the conversation and the most important thing). Now, this obviously applies to Jancy because they went through a lot and that's what creates this meaningful bond between the two of them. Steve does not understand what Nancy's been through -- Jonathan does. And vice versa i guess.

Byler also have this exact dynamic. Mike was with Will during S2 when all that shit happened - and the subsequent dynamic has shifted so Mike seems like the only one that really understands what Will goes through. They also both go through the same types of bullying, which is shown in S1.

Some examples of their 'shared trauma' dynamic are:

Will says that Mike shouldn't tell anyone else about his True Sight because 'they won't understand' - S2E02

Mike says that Will is quiet today and Lucas brushes it off, but Mike sees it as something deeper - S2E01

Will only tells Mike about D'art and Mike is the one to shout at the others and gets rid of his problem for him - S2E03

At the Snow Ball, Will looks at Mike when a girl asks him out, because he's so used to checking with him for things - S2E09

Mike asks Will if he's okay at the movie theatre because he's so in tune with Will's emotions surrounding scary stuff (they were about to watch a horror movie) - S3E01

I only really named ones in S2 because that's the season where Murray actually says that so I feel like it has more value when it's all in S2

"Trust issues am I right? Something to do with your dad."

Obviously, we all know that Will's had issues with his homophobic father - so has Jonathan, so it can apply to both of them. Most of Will's internalised homophobia can be traced back to bullying which includes his father.

It is shown right from the beginning of the whole show that Lonnie calls Will slurs, and attempts to make him like things that any 'normal' boy should want. Jonathan counteracts this by telling Will that he shouldn't just like things because people tell you to and telling Will that it's much better to be a 'freak' than normal.

This homophobic bullying could arguably lead to trust issues for Will - his internalised homophobia from his dad is what is keeping him from telling Mike the truth. He's afraid that Mike 'won't like the truth' because of the things he's experienced in the past.

Now, the one where Murray calls out Nancy is way more interesting:

"You. You're harder to read."

Nancy is of course, harder to read than Jonathan because she hides so much -- she's harder for the audience to figure out because she's in a relationship already. Even so, I think this applies to Mike even more than Nancy. We have Nancy's POV. We can often see what she's thinking and feelings, but with Mike, we haven't had his POV and private thoughts and inner conflicts since S2. For two whole seasons, there has been barely a moment of introspection for Mike. The audience has constantly questioned what the hell he's thinking and why he's acting this way.

It's simple -- he's supposed to be harder to read.

"Probably, like everyone, afraid of what would happen if you... accepted yourself for who you really are"

HELLO? I think when i rewatched this I was a little confused because the wording of this sentence does not really allude to Nancy's issues alone. She is, of course, afraid of accepting who she really is, but it's hard to see that as her main character arc. She's more afraid of leaving the safety of Steve, but this wording is just so oddly familiar to someone telling someone who's queer to accept themselves.

Literally Mike's arc - he's afraid of what would happen if he accepted himself. If he accepted himself - it would mean he realises he doesn't love El, which means he's failed her and has to break up with her. He might lose her if he accepts himself. Idk, the wording is just tooooo suspicious to just apply to Nancy here.

"retreated back to the safety of... Name?" "Steve"

This is kind of insane UM,,, so Nancy uses Steve as her safety blanket because he's a well-respected, popular person at school and has a lot of money, which is similar to her parents' situation. Being with Jonathan is the less secure option, but it aligns with her true feelings. Which means the audience should want her to be with the person she actually loves rather than someone she doesn't want to lose purely based on safety.

Mike literally does this returning to the safe option thing 3 times in the show...

Mike slowly realises that meeting Will was the best thing he ever did, not meeting El, not helping her etc. This happens over the course of S2, and Mike accepts that El is gone, placing her in the same category as Bob when talking to Max. When El comes back, he's torn between the two, and we can see this dilemma in the Snow Ball scene. Will is off with someone else - Mike is questioning why he's feeling like this and what he should do - so he sacrifices his true feelings for what he feels is the greater good and what he should just do, which is to stay with El.

At the end of S3, Mike realises something and is scared of what this could mean. He realises that he has been trying to change himself too much over the course of the summer and just wants things to go back to the way they were. In S4, he attempts to cover up his feelings and push them down because he's afraid of what would happen of he accepted himself, and pretends to be in a normal, healthy relationship.

During S4, Mike realises that his relationship with El is something that he's insecure about, and often confides in Will about this. He alerts to Will that he should have 'explained himself' to El, rather than telling her I love you, implying that he doesn't want to say that ever. He agrees with Will that the truth could hurt someone he cares about. He's worried that El doesn't need him anymore, and is happy when Will tells him that she'll need him no matter what - but he still has to be encouraged by Will's words to say I love you to her. This is for the greater good - what he thinks will keep her alive and what he thinks she needs.

So again, Mike and El's relationship is built on commitment and safety - being with Will is the least safe option because it would mean having to look inside himself, accepting himself, and possibly losing El, who he still cares about.

"We like Steve." "Yes!" "But we don't love Steve."

This one's pretty self-explanatory and was the original point of the ask above - Nancy has literally in this season told Steve the words 'I love you'. You can say those words even when you don't mean it, the writers aren't that stupid to be worried that the viewers will suddenly go "OH BUT WHAT ABOUT THAT ONE TIME-"

But, obviously, before Nancy went off with Jonathan, the last thing she talked to him about was their argument about her not being able to say I love you to him - in that argument, when asked to tell him, she stumbles and goes "Really?" before they're interrupted. Then she can't say anything. She can't say it because it's not true.

Sound familiar? - while there are many more nuanced aspects to Mileven's scenes in S4, it is arguably similar to the Stancy's plot that Murray is talking about. Nancy 'likes' Steve, but her feelings aren't deeper than that. She cares about him, but that doesn't have to necessarily mean she loves him romantically. In the same sense, Mike blurts out "I care for you" instead of "I love you" during their argument.

Nancy stumbles over her words trying to deny it - which is the same with Mike when he gets confronted about it in S4, leading to him trying to gaslight and become defensive, using words like "ruin" and "ridiculous".

All I'm trying to say here is that the Duffers aren't strangers to writing a plot where a character is repressing their feelings and using a relationship as protection in order to hide who they really are. And the lines are written to be so non-specific that we can't ignore that they can easily apply to Byler as well as Jancy.

[seriousbrat]

how can lily be a good person if she married a bully?

I'm going to break this down because it does legitimately seem to be an issue for so many people. I received quite a few asks about this a few days ago so I'm just going to address it generally here. Apologies for the length of this, I tried to cover everything I could think of. Let's get two things out of the way first:

Firstly, if you truly believe James was an abuser, and you're seriously asking how a woman could ever marry an abusive man, this is indicative of a fundamental lack of understanding about how abuse works. This is victim-blaming rhetoric. Abusers are predatory, manipulative, and often extremely charming, and they have a specific methodology for ensnaring their victims. I highly recommend Lundy Bancroft's book Why Does He Do That for further reading on how abuse works. The reality is that women marry abusive men all the time, and it doesn't make them bad people. If you believe otherwise we simply have nothing to talk about here.

Second, the question of whether or not James ACTUALLY changed his behaviour is irrelevant here, so I'm not going to directly address it either way. The main thing is that Lily BELIEVED that he had changed, whether or not he actually did, and we know this from Harry's conversation with Remus and Sirius. We also know she wasn't aware of the full extent of the bullying, as she didn't know the details about the prank.

For the purposes of this I'm going to adopt the perspective that James never changed, had 0 character development, and was secretly a terrible person the whole time. To be clear this isn't what I believe-- but I think it's helpful to start from a similar place.

Onto the main points:

An overly forgiving nature can be a flaw, but it doesn't make someone a bad person.

Nor does it make them selfish. Even if I concede that James was irredeemably evil as a person, the fact that Lily believed him to be better than he was, even if she was wrong, makes her at worst naive, not selfish. In fact, I'd argue that it's a sign of empathising with someone too much, which is sort of the opposite of selfishness. We know that Lily had an overly-forgiving nature, because she demonstrates that with Severus when she's willing to overlook his associations with the worst people of all time. And as we know from the fact that her friends were openly critical of it, and that she suffered as a result of it, her friendship with Sev was hardly 'convenient' for her. That she forgave him and overlooked his behaviour, and defended him, despite the fact that it was actively inconvenient for her, indicates empathy (and probably too much of it) not selfishness. Being overly forgiving is an established character trait of Lily's, as she tells us she "made excuses for [Sev] for years." Making excuses for someone you love is a flaw, but not one necessarily rooted in selfishness. Again, it was actively inconvenient for Lily to make excuses for Sev. It's also a very human flaw, not one that makes her a bad person-- especially when you consider that Lily's capacity for forgiveness had its limits, as she demonstrated with Snape.

To forgive is an act of compassion... it's not done because people deserve it, it's done because they need it.

anyway with that buffy quote out of the way, lets move on

Lily owes Snape nothing.

I'm sure people will disagree, but, objectively, she just doesn't. They are not friends at this point. He has demonstrated consistently that he doesn't have enough consideration for her to stop rubbing shoulders with people who literally want to murder her, including a boy who attacked her housemate. So why is Lily expected to take into account his feelings and his history with James? Which leads right into:

It's a massive double-standard for Lily to be blamed for marrying James when Snape isn't afforded the same for associating with Death Eaters.

I mean, think what you want, but to me being a mass murderer intent on exterminating an entire subset of the population (talking about Voldemort and other DEs here, not Snape) is like, maybe, a tiny bit worse than being a bully in school. But what do I know. Snape willingly joined up with such people, knowing perfectly well what they wanted to do to Lily, the woman he loved, and everyone like her. If Lily's choice in husband makes her a selfish person, then by your own logic Snape is completely irredeemable and you should probably delete your blog about how misunderstood and babygirl he is.

Sometimes people marry or befriend terrible people.

Similar to the first point, lack of judgement is a flaw but not one that directly indicates selfishness. Again, remember, Lily believed James to have changed. She believed, whether or not she was wrong, that redemption is possible. It's extremely common for women to date and marry terrible men, unfortunately, and to be blinded to their flaws. There are many possible reasons for this. I guess you can argue that the desire to be loved is inherently selfish, but that still wouldn't make Lily notably selfish at all, rather just a normal human. Plenty of people have had the experience of dating someone who is terrible or being friends with someone who is terrible at some point in their lives, and it doesn't automatically make them terrible themselves. People make mistakes and have poor judgment occasionally. Her actions in SWM suggest she would not have tolerated nor validated any cruelty from James towards others, had she been aware of it. Anyway, once again if you're holding Lily responsible for James's actions you need to also hold Snape responsible for the actions of his buddies. If it's selfish for Lily to associate with a bully (who she believed to have reformed) it's straight up devoid of any humanity whatsoever for Snape to KNOWINGLY associate with people like Mulciber, Voldemort, and Bellatrix. I don't actually believe this btw, I'm just following the logic through.

Furthermore, it's completely unfair to blame Lily for, in particular, the past actions of her husband.

As we clearly see in SWM, she did NOT tolerate his behaviour during the years before they started dating. James's behaviour is simply not Lily's responsibility, and neither is Snape's. It's not her job to fix them nor pay for their mistakes, nor should she have to investigate and tally up all their past wrongdoings when making her own choices. If James was actively being a menace and Lily was just watching going 'teehee' I'd understand this more, but again, she was NOT aware. Based on her behaviour in SWM, this would be out of character for Lily.

Someone having a moral stance you personally disagree with doesn't automatically make them a bad person.

If your moral stance is that James's past actions are completely unforgivable, and you could not personally date someone who did what he did, no matter how he evolved as a person, that's perfectly fine. As I've established, Lily was not aware of any continuing wrongdoing, nor would she have validated or supported it had she been aware. Lily's belief was that the person she was currently dating was a good person. She believed in redemption and second chances. If you personally do not believe in redemption or second chances, I'd question why you even like Snape, but ultimately that's your prerogative. However, believing otherwise doesn't make Lily a bad person nor selfish, even if you personally disagree or think she was wrong. People are allowed to be mistaken.

Snape was probably less relevant to their lives than you think.

Like to be quite honest, they were fighting a war and priorities had shifted, as they often do in adulthood. Lily ended her friendship with Sev, and after Hogwarts James and Lily almost certainly had no association with him whatsoever. Is Lily expected to continually self-flagellate over Snape for the rest of her life? Is she expected to take him into account in every decision she makes, forever? Believe it or not James and Lily existed separately to Snape, rather than as extensions of his character. They moved on. Snape didn't, that's what makes him beautiful-- and yes there's a reason why Snape couldn't move on, but, again, that is not Lily's responsibility. It seems reasonable to me that, particularly given the extreme nature of her circumstances, Lily would take into account first and foremost the actions she observed from James in the present, rather than what he did in the past. See above re: Lily owes Snape nothing.

Being selfless, kind, or a good person doesn't make one perfect.

When I say Lily was selfless, I do NOT mean that she was flawless. If this is your takeaway I worry for you. Also, enough about the Virgin Mary lol. Anyway, humans are complex, and selfless people are capable of selfishness on occasion. Everyone is. A certain amount of selfishness is not only normal, it can be a good thing and necessary for protecting yourself. When Lily ended her friendship with Sev, it was something she was doing for herself, so in the most technical sense (and it's still a huge stretch) it can be viewed as selfish. Nobody is or should be 100% selfless all the time. So even were I to concede that she was selfish in marrying James (which I don't) it doesn't preclude her being a selfless person in general.

Being selfless, kind, or a good person doesn't make a female character 'unrealistic.'

What even is this argument, honestly. Like do you just not believe in the existence of good women irl? Suspicious. I would gently suggest that if you find it unrealistic (or boring) for a woman to be a good person, that's maybe something you should take a closer look at. If your automatic assumption about a woman is that she must have married a man for his money, I would also interrogate that belief.

idk she was a teenage girl, pls develop some empathy

once you come down from your podium in the unholy tribunal, it might be worth considering female characters (and women in general) as human, and not just avatars who simply react to the emotional turmoil of men. At absolute worst you could assume that she was tricked by James (which I still disagree with, but it's a slightly more generous reading) or was blind and naive. All of which are more understandable than, for some reason, assuming she was a conniving bitch who wanted to hurt Snape and selfishly marry into wealth. Ultimately her decision to marry James probably had nothing to do with Snape at all. She was 21 when she died. Bad judgment is common at that age, and it's not necessarily a product of selfishness at all. Look, I'd understand this whole thing more if everyone was in their 30s. But is it not the teenage girl experience of all time to date an asshole? Do you have no empathy for that situation? Like I said, I'm arguing this based on the idea that James was completely irredeemable; would an abuser not abuse his girlfriend too? Would someone who is evil and cruel in all respects not also display cruelty to his wife? Can you not summon up an ounce of empathy for a 17 year old who might have thought, as many young girls do, 'I can fix him?'

To conclude, I think that the idea that Lily marrying a bully makes her a bad person is just rooted in lack of empathy for her as a character. Despite spending hours dissecting every last thought process a man might have had, there's no attempt at all to try and understand Lily's motives, rather they're considered exclusively from the perspective of Snape's emotions. This is unfair.

I don't doubt that it hurt Snape's feelings for Lily to date and marry James. But Snape's feelings are no longer her concern. She owes him nothing. Sev called his best friend a slur publicly and joined an organisation that wanted to murder her, with no respect for her feelings at all. They are no longer friends, and he has no right whatsoever to expect her to consider his own emotional needs anymore, and her choices no longer have anything to do with him. Nor should they have.

Whether or not you think it was a mistake for Lily to marry James, that's Lily's problem. Not Snape's. If you truly believe James was a monster, logically it's Lily you should be feeling sorry for. The fact that there's no empathy for her to be found, and that people revert so quickly to the Top 100 Misogyny Classic of 'she must be a gold digger' speaks for itself.

[jinxxsims]

Because... why not?

So as I go through my old sim stuff and debate whether or not I'm going to start all over from scratch... I discovered there were some things in my own creations folders that I never shared (similar to the simbishy set I shared the other day). I'm not entirely sure why I didn't share them, but it was probably just because I made them for a specific reason within my game and didn't think any one else would be interested.

In hindsight, that seems silly. If no one downloads them, oh well, but if even one person out there is interested in having them, then it's better to share, so this is me doing that.

So full disclosure, this all came right out of my game before my old computer blew up, so all my recolors are merged because that's part of how I kept my downloads. I don't have individual recolors to offer because of that, but all the recolors that were made by the creators (at least at the time) are in the merged files.

I also don't know if anyone has converted these since I went MIA, so if someone else has already shared their conversions of these things, apologies! With that said, on to the downloads!

These are a couple of ceiling lights that are not at all ceiling lights from a set by Severinka @ TSR. I don't remember if I made these before I learned how to make lights actually light up or if it was impossible or if I just wanted them as sculptures, but these are nonfunctioning and can be found in the deco category.

Download Severinka's (Non-Functioning) Ceiling Lamps

These are conversions of the cakes from the (absolutely amazing!) @soloriya's Laila Desserts set. These are deco only and can be found in deco > miscellaneous. All recolors are included in the merged files.

Download Soloriya's Laila Cakes

These are conversions from @soloriya's Himari sets 1 & 2. They're just deco, but extremely cute deco. All recolors are included in the merged files.

Download Soloriya's Himari Deco

Once again, credit goes to @soloriya. These meshes are from her Noah Bedroom set. There are no recolors, but everything is functional. The animations for the dressers (both tall and short) are off, but changing that was and is beyond my skillset.

Download Soloriya's Noah Bedroom

And last but not least, I have 30 recolors of the edited N65 Festive tablecloth. The (unmerged) meshes (master and slave) are included with thanks, but my recolors are merged into a single file. Here is a preview of the thirty recolors:

Download the N65 Festive Tablecloth Recolors

I created the above patterns myself, but if anyone else would like to have them either to make recolors for the tablecloth that aren't merged or for any other projects, I also uploaded a zip of just the patterns. Please note that they will appear upside down because that's the way they have to be to be right side up for the tablecloth, but you can rotate them as you like.

Download the Tablecloth Resources

Hopefully there's someone out there that will find some of this useful. With all that said, I've been out of this game for a hot minute now and have no idea what's all been converted or not in my lengthy absence. If anyone out there wants to point me towards certain sets to convert or has requests from the games themselves (I have all current sims 4 eps, game packs, stuff packs, and kits), feel free to send me a request via ask. If you'd like me to convert something from a sims 4 creator, please make sure they allow conversions in their policies first.

Happy Friday!

[nthewriter]

(Sorry I had writer block ;-; please be advised this chapter can be uncomfortable to read, it's angsty)

Being Simon's long lost biological child

part 1 / part 2 / part 3 / part 4 / part 5 (you are here!)

"Did you seriously search "how to be a good dad"?" Johnny asked with an arched eyebrow, looking at the computer.

"Better late than nothing."

"Si, honey, I think that's more of an instinct thingy."

"My only instincts are to kill and to protect." Simon groaned, head back in annoyance. "I am really trying, Johnny."

"I know." He felt the other man's hands on his shoulders massaging him. "It's been a few weeks now. We could... have a family lunch? Could cook something, and they often eat alone in their room."

"You're an angel. You know that?"

Simon genuinely tried to be a good father. It was just... hard. Too hard sometimes. He drove (Y/N) to their therapy sessions twice a week, waited for them, tried to remember things they liked to which they would reply "I am not five anymore dad!". Well, at least they recognised him as their father. Which was good, he guessed.

Johnny had always been a good cook, that’s what he had found out after starting to live with the Scottish man. He always had cookbooks everywhere, freshly and neatly aligned by categories. Ever since he had been lightly discharged from the army, Johnny has been trying out all kinds of cooking, even once cooking something with dry insects. Simon still remembered trying to smile and to tell his beloved he was liking it.

Simon dressed up the table nicely. He wanted to make sure that (Y/N) felt included, welcomed… loved. He did feel like an asshole for not trying to step up earlier. It would have avoided all this mess. It would have surely prevented Elsie's death. It would have prevented his child from being turned into a mindless killer who worshiped Vladimir Makarov like a saint.

They came out the bedroom, footsteps light but Simon could hear them coming down the stairs. When he looked up, he found his child staring back at him with a frown.

“What's the occasion?”

“We thought we could have a family dinner tonight. You, me, Soap.” He jerked with his head toward the kitchen. Simon usually used his partner's callsign as a pet name.

“I'm not hungry.”

“You better be. He spent the whole afternoon in the kitchen trying to find something that will please you.” There he went with his aggressive and harsh tone. He tried to calm and ground himself. “Listen- I just- Johnny just wanted to spend some time with you.”

“So we can pretend everything is okay? That we are a perfect little family?” (Y/N) replied, mimicking his aggressive tone.

“Yes. Just for once. Please.” Simon begged as he moved and awkwardly clasped their shoulder. He squeezed it lightly.

“Fine.”

The evening went on quietly. Simon put on some light music, trying to make the atmosphere less tense. He had cleaned up a little, trying to look good. His eyes wandered to his child who took a few bites off the food Johnny had prepared.

“It's good?” Johnny asked the kid.

“Yeah.”

They often spoke few words when they were around the couple. Simon felt bad, he wanted to include them into the family. So he tried to make conversation.

“Doctor Fonda said you were making a lot of efforts. That's nice. I am proud of you.”

“Proud of what? Of me “seeing things your way”?” They spoke aggressively.

“No- I meant-”

“Meant what?” They glared at him across the table. And the man felt a white hot rage rising in his body. Couldn’t they see he was trying?! Trying to be a better father?!

“Simon, calm down.” Johnny put his hand on his partner's under the table.

“I'm calm.”

“Speak to yourself, old man. Sounds like you have seen a ghost or something.” They grinned, continuing to fuel his rage. “What? Do I look like mom? How did you feel when she died after you left her to rot all alone?”

“I didn't leave her! You're making me sound bad.” Simon growled, slowly standing up. And his kid stood too.

“Because you're trying to play the hero, again, when in reality you're just a freaking loser! She died because of you!”

“And you should have died with her! That will save me a bunch of problems!” Simon roared back. “I didn't want you in the first fucking place! I wish she had aborted you like I begged her in the first place.”

Then, silence. Complete silence. (Y/N) stomped back to their room, slamming the door. The dinner was cold. Simon sighed and put a hand through his hair. He had fucked up. Again. He had said things he didn't mean to say. Or perhaps… and it was the worst, he meant them.

Turning to Johnny, he tried to apologise. But the other man just groaned something under his breath, clearly annoyed at him.

“The dishes need to be done.” Johnny spoke with an emotionless voice as he grabbed the half empty plate.

Simon sat back into his chair. He wasn't a good father. But he was a good destroyer.

[coyotelip]

jegulily waiting for a child microfic part 2! careful || part 1 || @taylorswiftmicrofic || wc: 812

“It's so small. Smaller than I expected,” James says in a whisper as he wraps his arms around Lily's five-months-pregnant bump.

“Can you grow a bigger one?” Lily replies with a laugh as she continues to carefully run the razor along James' jaw, shaving away the remnants of his morning stubble.

Five minutes ago, James was doing it on his own, looking at himself in the mirror with a frown. There was blood just under his lower lip where he hadn't been so careful with the razor. So when Lily walked into their bathroom in the morning, she couldn't ignore her husband's embarrassing suffering and set about helping him.

James now has his back to the mirror, leaning slightly so that she can work with his face at her height. His hands are on her round belly, stroking her bare skin, running his fingertips along the white stretch marks on her skin. Lily's hands gently circle his face and apply gentle pressure, shaving away the stubble along with the shaving foam that cools his skin.

“Oh, I wish I could,” James says, returning to the conversation, only half jokingly. That way he would be able to stay at home all the time as he wanted. James doesn't say it, but Lily's eyes meet his and flicker, noticing the sadness in her husband's gaze.

“I've been thinking about something…” she begins cautiously. James tilts his head slightly, but doesn't stop her from continuing to manipulate the razor. “You can raise your price list, right?”

“Why?” he asks, a little puzzled. James has been working as a massage therapist for eight years now and rents an office in the city center. And he'd be lying if he said he wasn't proud of his success - the best athletes and several celebrities in their city use his services, and some even invite him to their homes to give them private sessions. And of course, James charges a lot of money for this level of skills and experience.

“Oh, you know, your regular clients can afford it. I'm sure they'll stay with you even if the price doubles,” Lily picks up a damp towel to wipe James' face of the remaining shaving foam. Her voice trails off as she adds, “And you'll be able to afford to spend more time at home, right?”

Her green eyes look at James with hope. She knows how much James has been putting on himself these past few months. Of course she does. He doesn't even have to voice those thoughts and feelings, Lily and Regulus read his every thought in those moments when James comes home from work late at night and finds them on the couch wrapped in a blanket and covered in brownie crumbs. When he leaves for work early in the morning, sometimes while both of his partners are still in bed. When Regulus talks enthusiastically about something that happened during the day and about new information he found on the Internet about newborns.

James never says what is bothering him because of his particular and biggest fear. That they will stop sharing with him everything that happens in his absence so as not to hurt his feelings.

There are days when James wishes his job was as flexible as Regulus' and he could just work from home. Although their plans for the big house already include the idea of a separate office space for James for clients who are willing to travel out of town to visit him.

Putting down the towel, Lily cradles James' face in both hands, and he rubs lightly against her palms like a cat hungry for touch. The man has to cover his eyes to keep the tears from falling because of the flood of thoughts that has overwhelmed him. It seems that he is the one who has experienced all the emotionality that is typical during pregnancy.

All this time, James' hands remained on Lily's rounded pregnant bump - these days he tried to maintain physical contact with his wife whenever possible. Even when his profession required him to be skillful with touching other people, he had never been so careful and caring with anyone but his partners.

Lily gives him this time to think and gently strokes his cheeks. And James begins, “I think…” when something happens.

A light push coming from somewhere inside the woman's belly. A very light impact wave that James feels under his palm and makes two pairs of eyes look down.

James doesn't remove his hands, but instead spreads both palms to cover the entire surface of Lily's belly. And he feels it again - a kick. A small hand or foot that responds to the sound of his voice, to the warmth of his hands, and wants to say hello.

This time, James doesn't close his eyes, but lets the tears roll down his cheeks.

[y2sims]

Four Misc. Hairs in The New Hair System.

colors by pooklet.

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Musae Ricotta

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[redsrooftopprincess]

Hi!! I love the way you write the bayverse boys, especially your headcanons! My favorite has to be your disability headcanons, I'm disabled and I love seeing representation. Would you be willing to write some headcanons of how the boys would act with a disabled partner? I know that's kind of a vague request since there are so many different ways to be disabled, but maybe some general headcanons on how they'd be with a partner that just has a hard time doing the "everyday" stuff, like getting out of bed/brushing teeth/walking around for a long time? I understand if you're not comfortable with writing this!

Hello, my dear anon! You're in luck! Luck? Is that the word? Idk. I, myself, am disabled! I'm only really comfortable writing the disabilities I'm intimately familiar with (without extensive conversation with people who do have them), but I CAN speak to the ol' classic combo of ADHD, Autism Spectrum Disorder, and Sensory Processing Disorder (I have an alphabet full, but these are the main 3 that cause me daily issues).

AuDHD Reader Headcanons

Here are some ways our boys would actively love a Sensory Avoidant Autistic with ADHD (much, non-physical love to my fellow neurosparklies), and a few things they might have a little trouble with.

Leo

Don't worry about a thing, love. He's got you covered.

Need a dark quiet place to hide for a while? His room exists. It's already perfect.

Leo's a light sleeper, so your very soft morning alarm, *will* wake him, but he loves that he doesn't have to endure an obnoxious wake up call.

If he's not there to fix them himself, your current breakfast foods and drinks are already on the counter waiting for you. A lunch box / containers sitting behind them, just in case you can't eat yet.

Always has a portable safe food on hand in case you get distracted or forget to eat AND forgot what he laid out for you, as well as earplugs, sunglasses, a water bottle in whatever temperature you prefer, and a soft hoodie just in case you're having one of *those* days where *everything* is too much.

Expect him to be checking in every few hours. He doesn't want to overwhelm you with constant attention, but will ensure meds, water, and food happen.

If you can't speak, he'll usually be pretty good at picking up on what you need until you can talk again.

Issues:

Leo has OCD. While at first, he may be fine picking up after you when you leave a mess, it could build resentment after a while, so try not to keep your stuff in his room.

Leo's never had an issue with executive function, so expect him not to understand why you can't just *do* the thing. It'll take a bit for him to get that your brain needs to play before it's capable of doing a task that doesn't give you dopamine, and he may give you a hard time about "getting the important thing done first."

Raph

He's got this. Donnie's autistic, so he has an idea of what to expect... at least, he thinks he does. Hopes he does. Regardless, he'll figure it out.

He cleans the HELL out of his room the first time you come over, no chaotic mess or wierd smells allowed. He may have a bit of an issue *keeping* it that way, but if he notices it's affecting you, he'll handle it.

Pressure. Therapy. My guy gives the BIGGEST BESTEST hugs and will hold you as long for as tightly as you need. (This is really all of them, but I have a favorite, okay?)

OT anyone? Existing physically is hard when you feel like you have to tell every part of you, separately, what to do. Posture and overall muscle mass and flexibility suffer. Raph is there to make sure that doesn't happen. He won't be a dick about it, and he'll find ways to make the weightroom more sensory friendly, but he won't be okay with you neglecting yourself.

Similarly, nutrition! Raph has this uncanny ability to make just about ANYTHING into a safe food. Up to and including removing things after the dish is done cooking. If you order take out and you don't like mushrooms (or your disliked ingredient of choice), expect them to be removed before you even sit down. Multivitamins and hydration are also priority, and expect him to occasionally shove a water bottle in your face. He has a vested interest in you staying healthy.

He usually knows how and when to interrupt you to avoid the bulk of hyperfixation rage, and even when you snap at him, he knows not to take it personally. He's used to Donnie's "moments," so he'll just silently raise a brow ridge and wait for you to fully come back to earth.

Loves to sing and when you lay on his shell the reverb of his rich baritone feels niiiiiice. 10/10 for sensory regulation.

Listens oh so patiently to your info dumping. Half the time he has no idea what your saying, but he loves the sound of your voice and he loves how excited you get about your latest hyperfixation. Seeing you bouncy and bright eyed about... cereal or whatever, can fully turn his day around.

Issues:

Raphael is a physical guy, If you are touch averse, expect this to be a problem. He'll try not to take it personally, he knows it's not personal, Donnie doesn't like being touched either, but it does mess with his head for a while. During those times you're okay with physical contact, try and give him all the reassurance.

Can be a bit pushy about your health and safety at times. Usually it's easy to determine when there's an actual threat and when he's just being overprotective. He's getting better about the latter.

Donnie

'Tism twins!!!

While there is the usual social tapdance of "what type of neurospicy are you?" when you first meet, you both know how important it is to get as much information as possible right up front, so you know how to operate around each other.

Infodumping becomes an art form. You can see be working in silence for hours when one of you will start talking, already halfway through your own conversation in your head, and the other is instantly on board. You learn a LOT from each other about the most beautifully random things.

Expect him to keep a small fridge/pantry stocked with safe foods (when he remembers) and drinks (when he remembers). You more or less end up taking turns restocking everything when you notice the other's safe foods are out.

Fidgets. Everywhere.

Understanding that when either of you check in with the other to make sure they're staying on task, it's not passive aggressive, and your genuinely asking if they need help staying focused.

Has a "Sensory Regulation Chamber" in the lab that's essentially just quiet room stocked with anything either of you need to regulate. Sunglasses, fluffy sweaters, a drum set, you need it? He'll get it.

Issues:

Beware the usual issues that arise with Neurodivergent couples, when your 'tism clashes with his. If you need quiet and he needs to infodump, you can direct him elsewhere, but you're his person, and he wants to tell YOU. So expect pouting.

Hyperfixation rage on both sides can be a huge problem, and if you're not careful, it can quickly turn into a full blown fight over nothing.

Mike

It's all good, Angel. Whatever you need.

The most chill about it, and will fully roll with the punches whenever something happens he isn't expecting.

Snacks? Snacks. No need to worry about the stress of sitting down to, or putting together a whole meal. He's got your safe snacks on hand at all times.

His hoodie is now your hoodie. Full stop.

Want to watch the same movie, listen to the same song, play the same game, or eat the same food seventeen times in a row? Hell yeah! Let's go for the record!

Many with SPD (sensory processing disorder), know how helpful cannabis can be. He and Donnie are already tinkering with some plants, so he'll put a few aside to breed into something that tones down the world without leaving you tired and foggy.

Will listen to you infodump for hours with a goofy lovestruck smile on his face. You'll think he isn't listening, but he'll surprise you with something later that shows just how closely he was.

Issues:

OVERSTIMULATION. And NOT in the fun way (maybe the fun way, but that wouldn't necessarily be an "issue"). Both he and his space are bright and loud and there's a lot of stuff with very little organization. which we all know isn't a problem... Until, suddenly, it really *really* is. Set up a quiet space. You will need it.

Similarly, he's got a bit of a codependency issue. They all do, really, but Mike's is pretty extreme. Before you, things were... dark. And now you're here and things are awesome and what do you mean you don't want to snuggle on the couch right now? Did he do something wrong? Handling touch aversion and your occasional need for solitude takes him a WHILE.

ALL OF 'EM

These boys are sensory heaven. It's like they were made for sensory regulation. From textured skin to big strong arms to their churr basically solving every problem in your world, if only for a little while, expect them to be your safe space and refuge.

...

Tag list

@thelaundrybitch @the-cauldron-witch @fyreball66 @ninnosaurus @tmntngl @thegirlwiththeninjaturtletattoos @zagreustomb @ramielll @silverwatergalaxy @gornackeaterofworlds @daedric-sorceress @sophiacloud28 @iridescentflamingo @sacred-holy-light @celeste-clearwater-06 @pheradream-15 @its-a-me-emmabee

[mangionebabymama]

A bit off topic but I wanted to say this: I find intelligence so sexy, Luigi is not only physically attractive but also he’s very intelligent and educated c: I just thought of this because last night I was speaking with one of my classmates and we talked about politics and he did not know the difference between left and right, we’re in our junior year in college jajaj I got an immediate ick

All of this. I'll admit—the first time I ever saw the two photos of him when it was announced that he was named as the suspect (the one of him hiking in Hawaii and he's ripped and then the photo of him in the suit), I thought he was quite nice-looking. I say this because I'm not someone who, when I see the opposite gender, immediately decides if I am attracted to them or not. It's not always the case, but he caught my eye.

But then once I started diving deeper into more about his digital footprint, including his Reddit posts and even some of his GoodReads reviews, and even some of the things that he retweeted about on his Twitter—I know at the end of the day, people may call me parasocial or just a simp but, when I say this, I genuinely mean that I would love to sit down and talk to him about life, like anything. About his major, why he went into comp sci, the struggles of being an honors student/good student and still struggling with maintaining grades and having identity crises, us growing up in the same metro area of DC and Maryland, travelling, the complexity of intelligence and all the different forms. For me, I admire his intelligence so much because he seems to be the type of person with whom you could really talk about anything and everything and have a substantial conversation; it appears that he knows how to engage in conservation with people and talk to not only talk, but to learn from another person, too. I may be just an old soul, as I've been told this all my life, but I feel that even being Gen Z, sometimes, I have a hard time relating and speaking with people around my age by having experiences and being "older" beyond my years. But knowing he's literally around my age (he's three years older) and constantly loves to learn more about new things and seems quite interested in a wide variety of things?????? I'm WHIPPED

But, bestie, I would be getting the super ick, too, my god

[evillama666]

“Art class”

“Art class”

Logan Howlett x Reader

I’ve read a few fanfics where Logan is the history teacher, and as much as I love that, I feel like some things would trigger his ptsd. I know he mentions he’s the art teacher, like once. I think he’d find art therapeutic, and still holding onto that history teacher idea, I like to believe he teaches art history. I’m sure he’s seen lots of different art over the years (Even if he doesn't remember most of it) so he enjoys teaching it. Also he’s totally one of those chill art teachers. 

Summary: Logan draws with you during class

Tags: Platonic, comfort, shy/anxious reader, soft Logan, teasing

Word count: 2551

꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…

Logan’s art class is the best. He’s not one of those strict art teachers. His class is very chill. There’s always some sort of quiet music playing. Usually he picks the music, but if one of his students makes a request, he’ll play it. He loves being introduced to new music. He’s the kinda teacher that gives out either one-hundreds or zeros. It’s simple. If you try on your project; you pass. You don't; you fail. He’s not about to spend his nights, where he could be drinking, grading papers. Whatever project the class is working on, Logan is also partaking. Either quietly drawing at his desk, or with some kids if they ask him to join. He’s got a soft spot for his students. He’s the kinda teacher that pays attention to his kids, even if he’d never admit it. He knows a lot more about each of them than he leads on. He’ll listen in on their stories, learn who’s friends with whom, and pick up on people's crushes. He even engages in conversations with them. His laughs are heard throughout the room when he does.

None of the projects are ever hard, and he gives the kids free range for all of them. His presentions on either different art styles, techniques, time periods, or whatever are the best. If he's teaching about a time he lived through (and actually remembers) he's explaing what it's like and may even show any peices he made during those times. The class loves asking him about what it was like living through those times. He always tries to include everything he can remember. Those parts of his past, he doesn't mind talking about. He has lots of experience with art, so he's always helping students with their projects and giving them tips. If there's a speicific thing they want to learn out of class, he'll happily teach them. He's the best.

You want him to sit with you. You have for almost a week now. The thing is… you're too shy to actually ask. You know if you did, he gladly would. It’s just the idea of actually asking that you dread. Plus, he seems to have great relationships with everyone else. You don’t want to pull him away from the other students. Your table is near his desk. No one else is sitting with you, so it’s lonely. Sitting near his desk, you like to see what he’s working on. You're not sneaking glances at his art today, though. You’re sneaking glances at him, desperately wanting to ask him to come over. He’s not sitting with anyone else, so you know he’s free. You sigh when you can’t build up the courage. Guess you’ll wait and see if you can ask him tomorrow. 

It’s not like he’s an intimidating teacher. Not to the good kids anyway but, if someone's goofing off in his class, blatantly disrespecting the rules, he’ll blow up on them. Luckily, there’s not really anyone like that in your class. He made his class a safe place. His class is soothing, a perfect way to wind down, and having his class at the end of the day, it’s even better.

He’s noticed all your “subtle” looks towards him. Of course he has. The man’s got heightened senses. He can practically feel the shy and nervousness radiating off you. He wanted to give you the chance to fight through that and just ask him. It’s been a week, and that hasn't happened. Seeing another one of your glances, he sighs, grabbing his supplies, and setting them down on your table. “You could’ve just asked.”

His gruff voice pulls your attention from your drawing, looking up at him as he sits. Wait, he made the move? You didn’t think he’d do that. Not knowing what to say, you look back down at your project. “Ya the anxious type? I can smell it wafting off ya.” You lift your head again. Damn his heightened senses. You didn't even think of that. How long has he been able to smell that? And... what the hell does that even smell like!? You silently nod.

Rolling his eyes, he tries saying something to coax you out of your anxiety. “Y’know, your art is one of my favourites to grade. It’s different from everyone else's.” His voice is low and soothing. (I love his voice) It definitely helps relax you. You always thought your art was more on the weirder side, so hearing that Logan likes it brings you comfort. Feeling like you kinda have to say something now, you mumble, “Thank you, Mr. Howlett.”

“Logan.” He says, looking down at his paper as he draws. He hates formality. It’s not like anyone here actually calls him that. His relationships with his students are very casual. Your eyes roam over his face. He’s pretty for such a rugged man. “Logan?” You squeak out, as confirmation. He nods once. “That ‘Mr’ shit makes me feel old.” Isn’t he old…? Anyway, feeling somewhat comfortable with him but still a bit shy, you speak quietly. “I like your last name. It’s very… werewolf-ey.” 

He lifts his gaze from his drawing, raising his brows as he smirks. “It suits me perfectly, doesn't it?” You meet his eyes. He’s got such kind eyes. He’s very comforting to be around, despite everything you've heard about him as Wolverine. You silently nod. He’s got to pull you out of your anxiety a little more. His students like having conversations with him about anything, like their day, interests, or even just venting. But you're his quietest student, so you two haven't really reached that level yet. “So, you like my art.” He says, as a conversation starter. “How’d you know?” You ask.

“You watch me a lot.” He says, flatly. Wait, how obvious are you about that? “Now, I’d think you were checking me out, but your eyes are never on me. It’s always whatever I'm working on. That’s a true artist right there.” Hearing him call you that, makes you feel weirdly proud. No wonder why everyone here likes him so much. “I didn’t realize I stared so much…” You quietly admit. “There’s nothing wrong with it.” He reassures. “I know it’s out of genuine interest.”

Damn, this man is observant. He knows a lot more about you than you thought. You glance at his drawing. You’re used to looking at his work over his shoulder. Now that it’s closer, you can see it a lot more clearly. Like, all the tiny details he adds. He is a very talented artist. He catches your gaze and flips the drawing over for you to see. It’s of a tree and you can see how he drew each individual leaf and blade of grass. How does he have the patience for that? You glance at your drawing. You two have very different styles. “That’s so good! I wish I could draw like that.” He responds with a half laugh. “I’ve got like a hundred years of experience on ya, kid.” He probably has all the practice in the world.

He watches you draw for a minute. He hasn't heard your voice too many times. “Not a people person, huh?” He says, trying to get a response out of you. “No. I have bad anxiety.” That causes Logan to snort. “Well, that’s fucking obvious.” He’s not like your other teachers. He just doesn't give a damn about how he’s supposed to act. Feeling a bit more comfortable, you tease, “I thought teachers weren't supposed to swear?” Logan huffs in amusement. “Ya not gonna tell Xavier are you?” You know this man causes enough trouble for Xavier so you shake your head. “M’no.” 

“Then I’m gonna do whatever the hell I want.” He sighs when you fall back to being quiet, continuing on your project. “Would ya like me to sit with ya more?” Is he really asking that? Doesn't he already know the answer to that? You quietly nod. “I could use more company.” He notices your gaze fall back on his drawing. “You just want to watch me easier, don’t you?” You force your gaze away from his drawing. “Both. I’d actually enjoy the company. I don’t really have friends.” Like that wasn’t fucking obvious? “I could tell.” He says flatly. Damn, couldn't he be a bit more gentle with it? “Thanks for the comfort, old man.” He can’t help but snicker at the name. You must be feeling more comfortable. “Watch the name calling, brat.” He teases right back with a smirk.

You laugh softly. “It’s not a name. It’s the truth.” Wow, you really just went there. “Then shouldn't you be respecting your elders?" He smirks, thinking he got the upper hand. However, you don’t miss a beat. "You don’t respect Xavier now, do you?” Damn, ok, he didn't expect you to be so quick-witted when you got comfortable. He takes a second, forming a response. “I’m older than him.” And there you go again, making a comeback without even thinking. “He remembers more than you. You’re senile.”

His smirk falters, not being able to think of another comeback. He takes another few seconds to think of something. “I see why you don’t have friends.” You feel you should be hurt by that, but you end up laughing. “Not like you have many, either.” His brows furrow a little. This generation is fucking mean. “I choose not to.” You shoot him a look that says ‘Really?’ “Is that what you tell yourself?” He can’t help but smirk. This little bitch can throw down. “I like you.”

Your face falters a moment, not expecting him to say that, but you find your smile again. “You’re aight.” Wait… that's it? That’s all he gets!? Aight!? He couldn’t even get an ‘all right’? After you just attacked his goddamn soul!? His tone is unamused. “You clearly like me more than that if you wanted me to sit with you so bad.” You pause drawing. “I guess that’s true…” He smirks again, feeling cocky. “Of course it’s true. Everyone likes me.” 

You shake your head at his cocky demeanour. His eyes soften as he watches you work. You’re one of his most hard-working students. “You’re very passionate about your work.” You shrug as you keep working. “It’s all I ever do.” Logan can’t help but appreciate that. He’s looking at you… fondly? You meet his gaze. “W- um… Would you like to look through my sketchbook?” You’ve seen other students let him go through theirs. He always likes their drawings. He seems to just like all art in general. “Sure.” He shrugs.

You grab your sketchbook from your bag and hand it to him. He looks through it with a blank expression. It’s hard to tell what he’s thinking. Maybe he doesn't like it- “These are excellent.” Oh, he does like them. You can’t help but smile shyly. “Thank you.” He’s still flipping through, admiring each page. “You could make some real money off of some of these, kid.”

“Thanks, but I’m not interested in turning my hobby into a career.” He finishes looking through, setting the sketchbook on the table. “No? That’s a damn shame. I woulda bought some.” Wait, is he teasing you again? No, he seems genuine. “Wait what? Really?” He’s gotta be joking, right? He’s never said that to anyone else. All he says is, “Yeah.” with a simple shrug. Maybe that’ll bring up your confidence. 

You take another minute to process, then smile. You didn’t think your art would ever mean that much to anyone else. He suddenly gets up and leaves. You sigh in disappointment. Well, that didn't last long... Logan sees your slumped shoulders when he comes back. “Damn, I was only gone for a minute. Are ya already that fuckin’ clingy?” You look up when he places some pages next to you. “Thought you’d like these.” He sits back down as you go through the pile of drawings. “Are these yours?”

“Yeah. Thought you could get some inspiration from them.” He’s already back to working on his project. You look at all of his drawings. Some of them are… dark. You love it! They’re different like your drawings. You somehow feel seen. You can see the emotions he put into each one. “I love these. They’re so detailed. I wish to be half as good as you.” There’s a small half smile on his lips as you compliment his art. Not too many people value how much time and work he actually puts into them. “Mmh, you're more than halfway there, kid. Your art is fucking phenomenal.” His compliments are the best. Each one of them is genuine. You slide your project over to him, wanting his input. 

“How’s this? I feel like… it’s missing something.” He looks at it, really looks at it before giving his thoughts, that’ll match your style of drawing. “Darken the shadows to make it edgier. But use blue instead of black.” You look back at your drawing, thinking. That would… actually tie everything in nicely. You need to learn colour theory from this man. He’s so smart with the way he uses colours. “Thanks, I would never have thought of that.” You grab a dark blue pencil and get to shading. He doesn’t get why you don’t have any friends. You seem interesting enough. He quietly speaks. “You can eat here during lunch.” 

You almost miss what he said. “What about lunch?” His focus has shifted mainly to his drawing. “You can eat here during lunch. It’s quiet. Not too many kids eat in here and you have full access to all the art supplies.” You can feel yourself smiling. You were always jealous of the kids that had a teacher they could eat with. You always envied that. Well, now you have it. The lunchroom is always so loud and overwhelming. A quiet room sounds nice. “I’ll take you up on that. I hate the lunchroom.” Logan assumed you did with your anxiety. He likes to offer the anxious kids his quiet room. 

There’s a small smile on his lips and he looks relaxed while he draws. His relaxed mood seems to rub off on you. You sigh as you draw, glancing at him and his work occasionally. Your eyes linger over his features. It’s not fair he’s so pretty and handsome at the same time. He glances up from his drawing, meeting your eyes. A cocky smirk slides onto his lips. “Am I just that handsome?” You blink a couple times, not expecting to be called out. “I was thinking of how to draw you.” His cocky smirk turns into a small, soft, genuine smile. “I do have a nice face, huh?” (I have so much fun drawing him. His features are so nice.) You can’t help but secretly agree. Your eyes scan over his face, breaking it down into simple shapes, sketching a rough outline in your mind. He’s looking at you, letting you stare for as long as you need. His gaze is soft.

When you look away, his attention goes back to his drawing. Neither of you are speaking right now. The silence doesn’t feel like it needs to be filled. As the quiet type, you don’t mind this. He’s deeply focused on his work, so you don’t want to distract him with a conversation. As much as you’ve enjoyed talking to him, you only wanted him to sit with you, so you weren’t lonely. You pack up when class is over, sighing, finally being done with classes for the day. Logan glances at you from the corner of his eye, still working on his drawing, waiting for all the kids to leave. “See ya tomorrow, (y/n).” You glance over your shoulder as you head to the door. “Bye, Logan.” You say with a little wave, making sure to use his first name, not his last. It makes you feel closer to him than your other teachers. 

꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…

I know it’s short. I had literally no plot

[canonkiller]

✨ "Your online print store is broken?" FAQ

Yeah I did that: A Summary

Q: Why did you remove everything from your Redbubble / INPRNT / etc?

A: A bunch of reasons. I made the choice for myself after thinking about it for a long time and not liking it. Some of these reasons include:

I don't like not knowing the workplace conditions or compensation given to the people actually manufacturing physical goods of my work through these services

I don't like the waste of easy-to-buy, easy-to-break manufacturing or the shipping process

I personally stopped giving a shit about the potential for theft-by-loss-of-potential-profit because it made me feel like a corporation and that sucked

There is no way in hell Redbubble will ever be profitable enough to get me to overlook this, and I don't think I should try to make it so.

The ones that haven't been emptied are having login issues. I'll be killing them as soon as I am able.

Q: So what's the alternative? How can I get prints now?

A: Anyone interested in prints can just ask me for the full resolution files of whatever piece you want and I'll send them over. Then you can either use your own printer or order something from a local store / chain and tada, print made.

In the future, I'll have the files up on Ko-fi (like the Avex body pillow) as pay what you want, so you don't even have to ask. I'd still prefer if you didn't make extras to sell for your own profit, but I can't stop you.

Q: But isn't that going to lose you money?

Probably, but the $20-odd I was making across all of my merch sites was not enough to overpower my concerns listed above. Someone tossing me $5 through PWYW is already paying me more than any of those sites would pet sale (Redbubble can be adjusted higher, but the price is already so inflated), and the end result is still more affordable for the buyer.

I also want my art to be more accessible to people like me: ones who can't casually spend $30 getting a piece of paper shipped internationally, but enjoy being able to experience shapes and colors. Differences between currency conversions, payment platform options and mail access are things I don't think should create a barrier in enjoying and adding art to your space.

Q: What about the other types of merch? Like clothing?

I've been keeping an eye on secondhand gadgets and would like to one day offer on-demand items with thrifted or secondhand base materials, but this is not a priority for me at this time. You'll live without a shirt, and if you won't, try an iron on transfer or whatever the modernized equivalent is. Anything I can't find a way to make, nobody needs to buy, simple as that.

The pin-back button press calls to me like a beautiful siren but I have yet to find one that is both affordable and close to me. The grind never stops.

Q: I also have concerns about the things you mentioned and want to try and be more accessible and sustainable with my art. Is it okay if I also do this?

I don't own the concept of sending people PNGs CMYK JPGs when they ask for them and even if I did I'm sure as hell not gonna charge people for doing it. The more people turning away from mass manufacturing the better, imo.

[lyiswriting]

Plus size!reader x Stalker!OC

Past mention

Things about Landon!

I kinda want Landon to be like a Punk/Jock. Idk I'm figuring it out

How I'm thinking they met

Met the reader in the subway. It was a rush hour and the train was packed and she was standing in front of him. He didn't pay attention at first just scrolling on his phone. Until he looked up and they accidentally made eye contact. He fell so quickly, he couldn't stop looking at her as she squirmed. His gaze making her uncomfortable, she thought he was handsome but why would he be looking at her. Reader doesn't question her beauty but it's still weird.

Offered her his seat but she refused as it was already hard to get around and her hips weren't about to fit in that space. He insists but she keeps refusing. Eventually they both drop the conversation but Landon doesn't stop looking at her. Taking in every inch of her, even sneaking a picture the best he can.

Things he starts to do

He starts purposely missing his usual train to take the same one as reader. Once this starts to affect his schedule he changes it so it can fit. Doesn't even need to talk to reader as long as he gets to look at her.

Observes everything about her. Her style, purse, pins, keychains, anything! To try and get more information on her, soon enough he catches a glimpse of a tag on her purse. That's how he gets her name and quickly takes it to social media.

Starts to purposely push people out, makes sure there's a seat next to him. Once this fails the first couple times and reader doesn't sit next to him he re-thinks. From observing he notices she tries to take as little space as she can. And from media he finds out people complain about plus size people sitting next to them. So he starts to stand, stands next to her, glances at her phone, down her shirt, and into her bag if he can!

Subway can get pretty rough so when they hit a rough patch he always uses it as an excuse to get closer. Putting his hand on the bar next to her, "stumbling" into her, grabbing her so she "doesn't fall" all with that innocent charm of his.

Diary keeping. Writes down everything! Even if it's the smallest glance it will have almost a whole page. What reader wore, if she had a snack, how she looked, and not only the stuff you can see. But the stuff he's imagining, the bra color, the beauty marks, the positions.

He starts incorporating her into the things he does. I'm not sure what I want Landon to work as but reader does make her way into it. If it's art she is his muse, he draws her and paints her body all the time. Over and over making sure every detail is just right not leaving a single mark. If it's music, his lyrics describe her. The plush of her hips, his need to grab and bite. If it's business or something of the sorts he creates things that allows plus size people to be more included. Like more sizing, open spaces, and things he knows she will like.

Reader isn't Landon's type.

By reader not being Landon's "type" I mean he has never been with a bigger woman. He's stereotyped to be seen with that classic skinny, blonde, and blued eyes. It will play into the gaslighting and manipulation I have planned for him to do.

Landon is used to getting what he wants.

Even if he has to fight for it he will have it. Anything and anyone. He's patient and will achieve. Yes, this does mean he would kill for reader.

Reader makes Landon feel like he's never felt hormones before.

He's confused himself because he's never been shy with women, always had options. So the way that he can't get her out of his head is insane to him. Spends hours and hours just thinking about reader, drawing, writing, rewatching videos he's taken, printing pictures, picking out gifts to send her, and watching porn but looking for her. Anyone that looks like her but it's never enough because it's not reader!

I'm so happy and grateful for the support on the first post! So here's some stuff I have planned for Landon. Definitely more to come and more scenes!

[tenderwatches]

summary: viktor and jayce feel close to cracking their current problem pressure builds from all sides, including from within

“The Council isn’t going to wait forever, Jayce.” Mel’s voice, diplomatic and calm, even in frustration.

Viktor doesn’t mean to eavesdrop. Walking to Jayce’s lab each morning isn’t exactly easy for him, and his lungs demanded he catch his breath. Now, the moment sounds a little… tense. He doesn’t want to intrude. So, he makes his way slowly, his fingers tracing the cold stone wall as he walks. The interruptions between tiles mark his daily progress like notches on a measuring stick; how far can he go before needing to rest, how many breaths between each step?

Jayce groans something he doesn’t hear, continuing, “Something about these crystals just feels… wrong, Mel. They’re unstable in ways I can’t really explain, and we know nothing about the byproducts of the energy output.”

The mention of the Hex crystals sends a tendril of adrenaline racing through him—the promise of progress, of change, of maybe finally bridging the gap between Piltover and the Undercity. But Jayce is right. Ever since his return to the City of Progress, they've turned Jayce’s runic patterns over, sideways, backwards—but nothing they do makes the crystals react in the ways they should.

“Councillor Salos says Clan Ferros is considering changes to their support of the Council,” Mel intones, her voice low. Viktor’s veins run cold at the clan’s name. He hasn't heard it in a while, but the mention and the subsequently conjured image of their intelligencer brings a nursery rhyme singing out from the fog of childhood memories.

‘Keep your fingers out of pockets, keep your fingers off the green, else a lady with stilettos will come and slice them clean.’

He tightens his grip on his crutch and tries not to think too hard about a blood-thirsty, amoral family “supporting” the council in any way. Audible clacks from deliberate, sharp motions of his cane accompany his next few steps, allowing the conversation to fall to a hush before he enters.

“Good afternoon, Councillor Medarda,” he greets with a polite incline of his head. He expects she will give him a thin-lipped smile, polite but tinged with distaste, like she’s stepped on a viridian beetle. When he catches her gaze, however, he finds it’s… warmer than he anticipates. This is actually slightly alarming.

“Viktor,” she calls as she turns towards him. There is a chary distance between Mel and Jayce, a space where casual comfort should be. Their bodies tell a story, one of paths diverged. Mel’s usual poise carries none of the coy softness she once reserved for Jayce, whilst the man himself curls forward, hands gripping the edge of the workstation he leans against. By the way Jayce stares into the middle distance instead of acknowledging his arrival, Viktor can see he’s still deep in thought.

“I was just leaving,” Mel continues, sweeping across the room, towards him and the door. She stops to put a hand on Viktor’s shoulder, and he almost reflexively shrugs out from under it. He’s far from accustomed to most people’s touch, and much less so, that of Piltover’s ruling classes. “But it’s good to see you back—I’m looking forward to seeing what you and Jayce do next.”

The underlying meaning in her words is obvious, and he’s not sure if she has deliberately made her motives known to him, or if he’s become reacquainted with the ways the people here say things beneath the words they speak. Mel, of course, is one of the greatest examples of this—if he didn’t have his misgivings about her ties to the more violent parties in Noxus, he might even appreciate her shrewdness.

Viktor offers her a smile he hopes is polite, but the way she returns his expression is full of the sharp political intelligence she’s known for—nothing cruel, but knowing. She both acknowledges Viktor’s wariness whilst also offering to him that she’s grown beyond whatever he might remember of her. There’s a slight tilt of her head that suggests she’s not offended by his guardedness—if anything, she respects it. Her eyes, as they meet his, seem to say, “Your caution is warranted—but perhaps not necessary in the way you might think.”

She waves an elegant hand over her shoulder at Jayce, a motion that dispels his absorption. He begins to pace the room with a restless energy Viktor recognises. His former partner has never been an early riser, but over the years, they've both spent countless nights in the lab with Jayce walking circles around their latest conundrum until dawn breaks.

Viktor makes his way over to the workstation. The reports he recovered from his lab floor after their argument, back on his first day in Piltover, are still strewn across the desktop. Both men’s handwriting litters the papers, bold strikethroughs mingling with notes scribbled into the margins. Some of the diagrams have been replicated and reworked on the chalkboard. and a tired sigh escapes Viktor as drops into a chair and ponders one of them now.

“So the Council is getting impatient,” Viktor tests, his voice neutral. He doesn’t mention the Ferros clan.

“It’s hardly a secret.” Jayce runs his hand his hand through his hair, further exacerbating its dishevelled state. Has he always done that? Viktor remembers him being more composed, his appearance perpetually neat, even after long hours spent in the lab. He pulls his bottom lip against his teeth, deliberately averting his gaze from the soft expression of deep thought that Jayce wears. There’s a furrow between his eyebrows that suggests concentration, the slight press of his lips hinting at both his focus and a touch of worry or uncertainty. Viktor has always enjoyed observing Jayce in these moments of quiet intellectual engagement; Jayce is so invested in the outcome of their work. He knows Jayce sees so much more than numbers—he sees the future, the possibility of progress, the greater implications their discoveries hold.

In their time apart, his love for the other man has hardly diminished. Even when he was at his lowest, when he wanted to detest Jayce with every cell in his body, he never could. It’s hard, almost impossible, he thinks, to hate something that you love. Love always wins out. He’s not sure if he’s grateful.

He’s pulled from his rumination by the steaming mug that Jayce wordlessly places next to his hand. When he looks up, Jayce meets his eyes for only milliseconds before they both look away.

This is not the first cup of tea Jayce has made him. A couple of weeks into their reunion, when their interactions still felt prodding a fresh wound to see if it still hurt, Jayce had held out a mug to him for an embarrassingly long time before awkwardly setting it down on the desk, where it stayed for the entire day. Viktor was certain that it had been an accident—Jayce, simply going through the motions of preparing himself a drink, had mindlessly prepared one for Viktor, just like he used to.

This is the first mug that Jayce given him, instead of only offering. Though the familiarity echoes the effortless routines of their past, Jayce flutters about in his periphery, suggesting this presumption is hardly intentional. Jayce has always possessed this rampant desire to be needed, to be useful, to hold secrets of you that no one else could. No matter how good, admired, lauded he is, he seems unable to quiet his own anxieties until he fulfils a singular purpose for every person in his life.

Maybe this is why Viktor pulls the mug closer to him by the handle and takes a sip. Heat floods him, washing his body of tension as the dark sweetness of brown sugar mingles with the rich taste of evaporated milk. How long has Jayce been keeping these very specific fixings? Since the day he knew Viktor had returned? Viktor hopes not—the waste would be incredibly distasteful, especially considering how Jayce had once called his preferences ‘completely insane, illegal, even’.

Though Jayce has certainly noticed that Viktor has accepted his umpteenth peace offering after almost a full month of previously ignoring each one, he, wisely, says nothing. Instead, he pulls a series of molecular renderings closer, pen tapping idly against the page as he considers the elements he’s drawn.

There is no real purpose to his review; at this point, they’re certain about their calculations, rune matrices, and stabilisation frame design. Both are restless, eager to move on to the next step, but the parts ordered from the artificers have yet to come in (on more than one occasion, Sky has had to stop Jayce from storming off to the forge to take things into his own hands). At her urging, they take waiting period to study the composition of the synthetic crystals, which both of them admit is a better use of their time. “About the energy signatures you mentioned to Mel,” Viktor starts after a while, idly rolling the warm mug in his hands, watching the tea swirl in lazy circles along the edges. “They are… paradoxical. The crystals are dense, but the readings are unusually erratic.”

Jayce almost looks relieved. “Yeah, you noticed it too?”

Viktor raises an eyebrow at him before reaching across the desk to trade his mug for one of the rough, synthetic crystals, his other hand simultaneously reaching for a loupe. He brings the crystal up for study, squinting one eye shut to peer through the magnifying lens. “There is something here I recognise, I think.” He’s afraid to dig into what that might mean, especially when Clan Ferros is involved somehow. But they feel close to something, again, some fragment of information that will be the loose thread they need to unravel this whole mystery. “It is… subtle,” he continues, sparing a glance over the edge of the loupe to see Jayce hanging on to his every word. His expression is knitted into that characteristic mixture of scientific rigour and personal concern. “Do you have the reports from our mineral testing?”

Jayce rifles through papers until he finds what Viktor has asked for, and slides it over to him. “I don’t know what you’re expecting to find.” Arcane energy makes composition testing difficult, and, as Jayce alludes, the findings from the report are less than satisfactory. But Viktor isn’t looking for the precise makeup of the crystal—he just needs to see what makes it up.

Uranium.

Sulfur.

Carbon. Hydrogen.

His eyes flick over to the diagrams in front of Jayce, narrowing slightly as his thoughts race ahead of him, towards potential solutions. “These elements,” he starts, indicating each one to forcefully slow himself down, “They’re common, environmental—nothing unexpected when creating new minerals.” He smooths out the relevant report pages on top of the drawings. “And you’ve drawn them here, as alkynes, with the expected triple bonds.” He picks up a pencil and scribbles away a connecting line. Jayce opens his mouth to protest, but Viktor silences him with an impatient hand and proceeds to circle two separate groups. There is again some recognition here, though he can’t place why. “But what if proximity to the arcane disrupts them, leading to the instability we see?”

Jayce’s fingers brush Viktor’s as he takes the pencil to hurriedly sketch out another set of connections, more clearly representing what Viktor has pointed out. “Then we’d have these compounds here—which leaves them free to form a chain over there…”

Viktor is almost too wrapped up on the precipice of discovery again to concern himself with the way the energy leaps between them as Jayce’s thoughts intertwine with his—almost. “And that,” he emphasises, commanding his own focus as well as Jayce’s with an emphatic tap on the newly rendered molecules, “would explain why your last test melted.”

”This is huge,” Jayce murmurs, sitting back in his chair with a dazed quality to his expression. “We would need account for the interference and deal with the output of the fission—”

“But it could work.”

Optimism tempers Viktor’s curtness; viability could completely change the game for the Undercity, but he hardly dares to think of the possibilities. But for the first time since they began working together again, Viktor feels that old spark of discovery—the same energy that spurred the meteoric rise of Hextech years ago. Despite the rift between them, working together like this feels natural. Their ideas harmonise and build upon another, effortlessly leaping from one point to the next without ever having to pause for exposition. Even changing directions is simple for them, like pivoting in a waltz. Slightly dizzy with excitement, he sinks back into his chair. Exhales slowly. Coughs. Ignores the way Jayce’s attention snaps to him, faster than an electric shock.

“We should document these findings properly before we proceed with any modifications.” Clearing his throat, he reaches for his crutch and hauls himself to his feet, stiffening his posture in an effort to quell his body’s trembling. He feels foolish for leaving so soon after initially arriving, but he needs to get out of this enclosed room.

The familiar rhythm of collaboration makes it too easy to forget himself, to slip back into treating Jayce like the past two years haven’t happened. He’s learnt better to than trust show too much vulnerability, as much as some part of him cries to allow himself this reprieve. His mostly full mug of tea still sits where he set it down earlier by the synthetic crystals, unfortunately abandoned.

Jayce, though, seems eager for something to do. He nods, bright with enthusiasm for their breakthrough, and Viktor can see the scientist he talked back from the ledge so many years ago. Jayce flips his journal to the next clean page, snatches a pen from the desktop, and swiftly records the date at the top. “I’ll take down the preliminary notes and then we can work on a fresh draft.” He pauses, pen nib hovering over the paper. His expression suddenly looks troubled, serious. “I know you hate when I, uh,” he waves hand in a complicated gesture, ‘you know,’ and Viktor comprehends the motion is supposed to encompass the complicated experience of being cared for by another whilst grappling with his own sense of autonomy. “But you could, maybe—well. You seem like you want to get some rest.”

In spite of his efforts to keep walls between them, Jayce reads him like a favourite book, even down to his mindfulness in not outright dictating what Viktor ought to do. “You’re… perhaps right,” he agrees with only a small amount of reluctance. The ease with which he’s fallen back into working with Jayce feels like a trap; the last time he’d let Jayce in on matters concerning his health, under the insistence that they were partners, had ended with Jayce proving himself to be like every other Piltie: someone whose grace was fickle, who seized on opportunities.

The truth of this clashes against his memories of his former partner, clashes even still with the image of the man in front of him, looking at him with warm irises gleaming with amity. He’d struggled to reconcile how this was the man who’d betrayed his trust, struggles still now to see it. He can’t begin to fathom Jayce’s motivations and, despite their proximity, can’t bring himself to ask. Some things are better left unknown. “I’ll look at your notes tomorrow,” he finishes, and Jayce beams at him as he makes for the door. Is this the shape of progress in their new, germinal relationship? This juxtaposition of timid hope for the future and fear of the past?

Behind him, he hears Jayce’s hand whispering as it dances over pages. The sound is as familiar as his own heartbeat, or his cane on the tile floors. 𓊈 first chapter | previous chapter | next chapter on AO3 𓊉

AN: Chapter 7, 'Interlude' !! i really loved writing for mel in this so we will see more of her for sure (you can read wayyy ahead on Ao3!! we're posting ch. 21 tomorrow)

[astroyongie]

spamming senpai until i see an a-z nsfw for geto

(doing it so I don't get canceled by you)

A To Z Analysis: NSFW

Geto

A = Aftercare

Gojo is actual good with aftercare even if it doesn't seem like it. he is the type to be practical and have everything prepared beforehand. He is also the type to talk with his partner and make sure they enjoyed it

B = Body part 

On himself he likes his feet. don't ask why, he just believes he has very good feet

on his partner he loves their hair, their skin so he can touch and pamper. loves the curve of their back which makes him quite touchy as well

C = Cum 

He isn't very messy with cum but he squirts out a lot. So it's quite liquid compared to some who can have a more thick consistency

D = Dirty secret 

He might have a thing or want to see his partner being fucked by someone else while he simply watches. Extra points if he knows the other person so it can add to his angst

E = Experience

Geto haș very little experience. he has enough to know how to deal with a partner, but he still has much to learn.

F = Favorite position 

Your legs/feet over his shoulder is a position he loves, but also holding you from the side for more slow and lazy smash. Missionaries when he is feeling more on the romantic side

G = Goofy

Geto isn't really goofy during the intimacy, that because there's a lot going on inside his head. He is mostly focused on his pleasure and his partners

H = Hair

He can be a little messy. he is groomed but he doesn't like to be bare or have too much little hair. Same for his partner, although he doesn't care how they present themselves, he prefers when they have hair so it feels more mature to him

I = Intimacy 

Yes, Geto needs a lot of intimacy during smash, he needs the romanic aspects and he needs to be in love with the person to be able to have sex

J = Jack off 

He can be paradoxical. there will be weeks where he is doing it every night to sleep tight, and there's weeks where he will forget to do it. it also depends if he has a partner or not

K = Kink 

Geto's kinks are vast and usually they bring something primal on him. It's anything that gets tangled in between kinky, taboo, hurt yet still with passion and love. From sado-maso play, to blood and prey play to recreating traumas to have possession of the moment

L = Location

Bedroom exclusively. he doesn't mind to bring it to the office, to the working space or even the couch. but he prefers the couch.

M = Motivation 

Geto îs particularly hard to get in the mood. He gets turned on by random things and something it just clicks on him. but some kisses and teasing can get him going when done in the right moment

N = No 

He would say no to anything including food, poop, sodomization and anything that would put him and his partner in an uncomfortable environment

O = Oral

He is a huge fan of oral. Although he prefers to receive and to geto, a blowjob can count like one session. He also doesn't mind to go down on his partner but he might like the practice with his mouth

P = Pace 

He is a slow and sensual pacer, he doesn't like to get too rough with his thrusts, he believes it doesnt make him feel his partner fluster around him

Q = Quickie 

He isn't a fan of quickies and if he can avoid them he would. although if you really are in a mood, he will use his fingers on you to get you satisfied

R = Risk 

Geto will have the game to experiment and he will take risks after a conversation with his partner to make sure no boundaries are crossed. he wouldn't take risks randomly

S = Stamina

He has a good stamina actually. He might finish a little too quickly but he has the ability to take a few breaks to make it last a little more in between

T = Toys 

it's an half and half. it would depend on what type of toys you want to bring on the bedroom and what the utility of it. he is more okay to use them on himself tho

U = Unfair 

He can be a huge tease if he is in the mood of a more dom play. but is teasing can be painful, to the point where he will deny any type of release

V = Volume 

He is rather quiet during smash, based on the chart, he is the type to make low grunts and growls. He rarely moans out loud, as he find sounds from him to be embarrassing

W = Wild card

He would allow you to carve your name on his body permanently during a smash session and he would exhibit it proudly

X = X-ray 

Geto is large and girthy. it's curved upwards and it’s somewhere in between rough and clean looking.

Y = Yearning 

His sex drive is mid, it really depends on his mood

Z = Zzz

After sex he doesn't want to sleep. he wants to pillow talk, to hug, to cuddle. sleep with you in his arms afterwards

[dreamy-guardian-angel]

:) oh buddy I'm about to be your new best friend. I am the Delta anon. I come from mainly @/howlsofbloodhounds inbox (also Howls if you're somehow seeing this. I'LL COME BACK SOON I PROMISE).

RANT IT IS!

I find that Delta usually has very complex relationships with a lot of people, especially based on his reputation around the Multiverse and Omega Timeline. Bad guys know him as a threat who will stop at nothing to kill, good guys know him as a bit unhinged but their heart is in the (mostly) right place (aside from the murder). Anyone who poses a threat will be treated as such by them with no hesitation.

However, that being said, if a stranger approaches with caution and strikes up a conversation (asks for directions, for him to translate something, etc.), they will actually he extremely polite and patient with them. He won't be aggressive if they approach nicely, which can often confuse the ones who view him as a threat waiting to be unleashed. They know if he's around, a fight will most likely soon follow.

Does Delta know this? Absolutely. I'd imagine that they actually kind of enjoy the fear that comes from others - if they're bad, then they have everything to lose. If they're good, they're safe. He will only attack bad people and it is very well known.

And like most of the talk about Delta and Color's relationship, the headcanon of Delta being Color's roommate and protector (and semi-caretaker while he's in recovery) is usually adopted.

For me personally, I like to imagine that Delta had to reteach Color everything from day one - not to say Color was helpless whatsoever during recovery, just needed a bit of help, love, and routine to get their life back in order. They are very close friends, even though they argue on occasion and blow up at each other due to their explosive natures.

With that being said, I also like to think that Color taught Delta a LOT about so many things, opened their eyes to a lot more possibilities than they realized before. Because before Color really came around, Delta kinda only had himself, Beta (the collective nickname that was chosen for the Bravery Soul), and whoever they encountered.

Some of these things could be about the patience and time recovery takes. Delta is usually a get-in-get-out sorta guy I think, so if he gets injured, he heals himself quickly and rushes to the next AU or fight. But Color practically forced him to realize that what he can survive with ease is not the case for everyone else - he may be able to heal himself without thinking about it, but others sometimes don't have that luxury.

Another thing I'd like to imagine Color taught them more about is patience (ironic, i know). Healing takes quite a bit of time, even if it's done instantly with magic. Color had to be rehabilitated, taught the things people would just know, and Delta was a big part of his learning process. But when things got hard, he practically forced Delta to learn that instead of fighting it (usually physically or verbally), they needed to be patient, take a breath to calm down, and keep trying while keeping their cool.

I also think that Color would help them to actually accept the things they need to do in regards to their neurodivergency (I hc that Delta/Beta have ADHD and probably a few other things, but right now ADHD is the main thing I'm talking about here). Color was taught by pretty much everyone around him that he was allowed to express themselves however they wanted, as long as it wasn't hurting anyone or themselves.

I feel like Delta would be the type of guy to refuse himself stims or breaks, not wanting to be seen as 'weak' or 'vulnerable' by their enemies. I'd imagine that they mask often, causing them only more frustration the longer they do it - hence why they get so excited when they can fight. They get to release all that pent-up stress and energy, and use it to protect people that they care about, including themselves. What better coping method could a neurodivergent with anger issues ask for?

But Color taught him that they don't have to resort to fighting to get out energy, and don't have to mask in order to feel safe - don't have to view themselves as weak for allowing themselves the comfort of stims and all that comes with it.

And that's not to say Delta didn't know about these things before - just that he didn't think of it. Color obviously taught him much more than just these things, but these are the first ones that come to mind. They undoubtedly have the closest bond that could be, no matter what happens.

And moving onto Epic now, I actually don't know how I imagine these two meeting. So I'm open to ideas on this one lmao.

But no matter how they met, they are also very very close - they enjoy spending time together, mostly because it's so different than what Delta's used to. He can feel a bit more relaxed around Epic. And, like Color, Epic encourages stimming to the highest extent (I imagine he has AuDHD). With the memes and overall chaos, though, Delta would probably need breaks of silence in their hangouts lmao.

I'm gonna be real with you, I don't have much of an opinion on him. But that isn't to say that he's not a massive part of Delta's life.

I'd imagine that he'd be the first person aside from Delta that Color was introduced to. Naturally Color wouldn't be as friendly, maybe even viewing him as a threat until he eventually came around. (You gotta introduce early post-VOID Color to people like a cat, from what I understand. It'll work, trust.)

Now, with Cross, it could be a bit more complicated. Even though it was claimed as non-canon by Jakei I believe(?), in Delta's story, he canonically fought Cross. Which obviously leaves a bad first impression for both of them.

Needless to say, when Delta finds out that Epic is friends with Cross, he is NOT happy. Things would probably be tense between the two for a very, very long time, probably involving multiple altercations and fights between the two. But I think they would eventually get on better, more neutral terms - maybe even respect each other eventually.

I do think that the longer Cross is around and the more he integrates into their group, Delta will accept him soon enough and not put up as much as a fight about it. They might even grow protective of Cross, instinctively wanting to protect him from danger, just how he does with everyone else.

And honestly, Cross would probably teach him to be more accepting of people who are trying to turn their lives around. Delta has most definetly fought this dude multiple times in the past, and will proudly admit to that. But he learned that even people who did a lot of bad shit can change, and should be allowed the time, resources, and space to do so. I think they'd be friends eventually.

Now, with Killer, it is going to take him MUCH longer. Cross is mostly acceptable because they showed genuine change and apologized for past actions - Killer, on the other hand, has not yet.

It's kinda known how Color actively saved Killer and helped him begin learning to change and recover. And he's seen firsthand how much Killer has hurt Color - they were on the front lines with them.

So naturally, once Killer tries to assimilate into their friend group, Delta fucking hates it. He is completely unwilling to accept Killer, an unapologetic sociopath with a body count higher than Delta and all his friend's combined, into their friend group. Hell no. They'd rather die (again).

It probably goes on like this for the entirety of Killer's reintegration-into-society process. No matter how hard Delta tries to bite his tongue, mask it, fake politeness and try to be patient, it is a never-ending battle between him and Killer - and in turn, with Color.

Killer being in their lives would definetly create a lot of conflict between them and Color. Delta doesn't want to let some murderer around them - especially one that worked with their literal enemies! But Color is determined to help, and not a single thing is going to stop him.

Eventually, of course, things would get better. Killer would stop being such a menace (though he'd still be chaotic) and Delta would slowly get over his pure hatred of the guy. I'm honestly not sure if they could ever be friends due to the unyielding grudges that Delta holds, but they can at least be on decent enough terms to not try to kill each other every time Color leaves them alone in a room for more than 10 seconds.

I think his relationship with Beta would be very different from all of these, though. They have quite literally known each other the longest, as they are fused together. I'd imagine that at the start of their relationship, it was pretty rocky.

Beta just got freed from his eternal chamber where he was forced to stay in the dark after being killed, and was immediately absorbed to fight and beat a demon before they left forever. That statement alone carries through some the trauma this kid endured - and now he was suddenly fused with one of the Monsters he had previously known. So of course their relationship would be very complicated at first. But with time, things would get less complicated - they would get more in sync, trust each other more.

I think that as the years go by, they'd eventually develop a brother-like relationship. They are definetly very close, always having each other's backs, ready for whatever comes next.

Now, onto headcanons about his other relationships outside of the Chromatic Crew.

For me personally, I think he'd actually get along very well with Lust! (I know a lot of people call him Plum or Sugar or whatever, but I honestly don't mind calling him Lust.) I'm not exactly sure how they would meet, though. Maybe Delta was saving him from someone? Or maybe they met in the Omega Timeline somewhere.

I think their first meeting would be a bit awkward. I don't know Lust very well so forgive me if I'm not doing him justice here, but I imagine he'd be the type to flirt slightly with people he just met (not inappropriately of course).

I personally hc that Delta is aroace, so obviously this would make a very awkward first introduction if Lust gets flirty. However, I think once they get past that (and once Delta sets firm boundaries), they would be good friends!

I also think that they would gossip together. With how involved Delta is and how strong his opinions are on about damn near anything, he definetly knows about a lot of drama happening in the Multiverse. And Lust being Lust, I imagine he'd be involved in drama, too. So I think they would definetly bond on that front.

And honestly, I think he'd be on decent terms with the Star Sanses as well. In truth though, I also don't know them very well aside from the things I see everyone else putting out here, so I may not do them justice in this topic lmao.

I think he'd be fine with Ink, honestly. He may disagree with the things Ink stands for and how he perceives the Multiverse and its inhabitants, but he can't deny that Ink has saved countless AU's - regardless of intention, morals or motive. As long as Ink doesn't try to interfere with their work, they have no issues with him.

Dream, on the other hand, I feel Delta might be a little more frustrated by. Of course Dream is a genuinely good person - that is simply who he is. But the almost foolish (in Delta's eyes, at least) belief that Nightmare can change and may come back around one day can annoy him very easily. It's obvious Nightmare isn't coming back, no matter how much Dream still loves and cares about his brother. It ain't happening. (He thinks Dream is a tiny bit delusional on that front. And also that the whole 'balance' thing is absolute bullshit. However, he thinks that pretty much everything else Dream stands for is good.)

I think he and Blue would be good friends, though! They have quite a lot in common in my eyes. I think they'd go sparring and patrol together on occasion, when they both have the time.

I also think that he and Ccino would get along very well despite how different they are. They balance each other out in a way - and plus, Delta always tips well. (He also tried to steal a cat for Color once. He felt bad and returned it the next day. Ccino has too many cats - his answer to the return was "I thought I just counted wrong. I should probably take a nap and fix that". And that was when Delta became concerned with this man's sleeping habits lmao.)

And finally, Ganz. I'm not sure if you know him or not (he's kinda unknown as well) but I imagine Delta's actually pretty close with him. Due to Ganz's depressive nature, Delta offers help at a moments notice, no matter what kind of help he needs.

All in all, they care very much about their friends.

Anyways, that's all I got! Thoughts?

(Context)

ANON I LOVE YOU, thank you so much for taking the time to answer me<33

Okay, first of all, while I was reading your answer I saw someone reblog my previous post, so @swelteringfire , sorry for the tag, but I thought you might want to read this as well

⤵️

SECOND, thanks again, it really helped and it was actually interesting!

I saw quite a few fanarts of Delta and Color and I was confused at first because I didn't understand their dynamic, but this clears up a lot of things. It actually sounds really sweet how they basically helped each other in so many different ways when they needed it. Same thing goes for Epic and Cross. I believe Cross is a really complex character, and I know he had his problems with a lot (or even the majority) of other monsters, so I'm not surprised they might've had a rough start as well seeing Delta's nature.

I'll be honest, I was particularly curious about his relationship with Killer (sorry, I love him more than anything</3), and yes, I can see how they might have their difficulties. I'm not sure if this is right, but Delta's behaviour and thoughts about Killer at first remind me a bit of what Dust or Horror might think of him too. Now, I love the found family trope for the MTT, but realistically speaking I know they both would view Killer as a sort of threat as well (which is...ironic, but understandable).

Also I didn't know about Beta but thanks, now I'm crying<33 The fandom usually tends to ignore the other souls' trauma, so it's nice to know that someone actually takes the time to focus on that sometimes. They were just kids too.

I also love how you mentioned Lust and Blue as well! Swap is basically everyone's bestie at this point, and I'm so happy about it (also he's probably the most stable out of everyone there). And Lust would absolutely love to stop and gossip after getting to know Delta!

I think he would be fine with Ink and Dream too, and at the same time it's so funny how the bad guys would be kind of scared of him

Overall he sounds like a really interesting character, I would like to see more of him!

(Sorry if it's short, but I have class now)