#and I want some backlog to it before I start
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i don't feel like studying any of the subjects from The Plan rn but everything else is so boring that i also don't want to waste time on like watching content or something and i would rather switch subjects then give up on studying for the day and by old me standards ive already done enough but new me i still feel like i can do more but i don't know what ughhhhh this is torture
#okay so The Plan is#i mean not that anyone would care or understand but i like writing on tumblr like a diary#The Plan is to finish law in one month so i can give the online test and this js non negotiable because there's two#online tests and i have to do ATLEAST one before this year ends or it will be too much#and then to finish my backlog of direct tax till like 10th so i can give that test and be caught up with the rest of the class#and there's about 35 more 2 hr lectures to go (rip me)#oh also i haven't touched audit in ages and backlog is getting to the i can't breathe under this burden levels and classes resume on like#10th 11th something and i want to rejoin with them#the plan is to have all this done by november so in December#i can focus on catching the fuck up with fr and afm because like ive attented SOME classes like sparingly#and i know it but very upar upar se so i have to do it properly once or ill die#yeah that's it that's The Plan#it's doable i think i calculated hours days wise and everything#but like. theory subjects are fucking hard to do constantly because either they're boring asf (like law and audit)#or they're complicated and make me cry from frustration (like direct tax)#mann.#now that im actually studying#i feel so irrationally scared for how chill and like. blaise attitude i had towards inter exam#i had absolutely no idea everyone else was studying so deeply like tax syllabus first half is the exact same as inter#just a little advanced and sir keeps saying ye toh aapne inter mein padha hi tha and im like hain??? bhai itna sab tha????? i had no clue😭#like how tf did i pass my dad says not to tell anyone that i didn't really study for it cause ppl will think#aise hi farzi ca finalist ban gayi but like tunblr so wtvr#but yeah how tf??? could i pass???????#like i actually start to panic when i think about how less i had studied which makes no sense since it's not like they can#take away the result or reverse it or anything it doesn't matter now#but like just woah. like i can't even explain#i remember for tax all i watchef was marathon and usme bhi i got bored (THE DAY BEFORE EXAM!!!) so i skipped#the main topics that had crazy weightage and just did a number of tiny topics and studied only enough#to get passing#dt irl is VAST i can't believe these people learn such specific things that if iss date se iss date mein hai toh section 54 ka exemption
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Here, Hyung?: Changbin x Male!Reader
Pairing: Changbin x Male!Reader | Side Pairing(s): Chan x Male!Reader, Changbin x Hyunjin, Minho x Jisung, Ot8 x Male!Reader
Genre: Smut, fluff, | AU: idolverse! idol!au
MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!
Word Count: 7k
Summary: Changbin drags you to the gym with him after a recording session. What starts off as a normal work out between friends becomes something much more strenuous.
Tags: polyamory, public sex, shower sex, teasing, handjob, cockwarming, voyeurism exhibitionism, group sex, foursome, body worship, muscle worship, muscle kink, gym sex, biting, spanking, rimming, anal sex, anal fingering, creampie, finishing inside, cum eating/swallowing, subby!han, dom!chan, bigdick!changbin, top!changbin, bottom!reader,
Disclaimer: This work is completely fictitious and for entertainment purposes only. They are not meant to reflect or label the members of Stray Kids in any way. The events within never took place. Thank you.
Here's What You Missed on Newbie!
Next on Newbie!
***
“That was really great, YN, but I think for ‘come inside now���, try to get it to match Felix’s ‘Hey’. Like, his line is pretty fast, so you should match that speed. Okay?”
“Okay.”
“Alright, awesome. Whenever you’re ready.”
You loved being in the studio. Working on music makes you feel more productive. You felt alive when you sang; when you sang, you could forget whatever bothered you in the moment. Adjusting your headphones, you shook out the slowness from your sleepiness and let the music play again. This would be your first album with Stray Kids. A repackage with your first single, ‘God’s Menu’, Chan, Changbin and Han felt some new songs featuring you will endear fans to you more. They also said it showed off your singing talents. You wanted to make them proud of you, especially Chan, who had so much faith in you.
“That was good,” Chan said, approving the newest take. “Let’s go to the next line.”
“I shout my lungs out, I don’t have time to hesitate.” You sang into the microphone, following the music playing through your headphones. Yet, you thought you felt your voice crack on the last word, and you shook your head. You heard the three producers giggling, and you couldn’t help laughing with them. “Can I do that one again?”
“Don’t you want to play it?” teased Chan through the booth speaker.
“No,” you answered, smiling and laughing. “Please, no.”
“You sure?” Han asked, purposefully cracking his voice to tease you.
“We shouldn’t subject ourselves to that,” you chuckled.
You sang the line again, this time hitting every note before the trio deemed it suitable to continue. “Very good job, YNnie,” said Chan through the speaker again. “I think we’re going to finish quickly today.”
“Can I do one more take of that one?”
“Why? It’s fine.”
“I think if I add a bit of huskiness, it’ll flow into the next line better. I’d like to try it and see how it sounds.”
“Alright, sure,” he said, “I’ll keep this one and we can record that one and see?”
“Yeah, cool.”
“Cool.”
You each decided the first recording was better than the second. Chan told you he wanted to give you larger parts in some songs to showcase your vocals. He always brought out the best in his members, not letting go of a line until it was perfect. You’d grown to trust Chan to make you sound as good as he possibly could. He also grew interested in the dozens of original songs you had backlogged in your laptop, and written in your notebooks in your room. He’d seen them when he found you writing in the cafeteria before dance practice, and asked. You normally hesitated when sharing your music; it felt like sharing a piece of your soul when you did, but you showed them to Chan.
Something about the leader knocked down your walls.
“YNnie,” Changbin stood up from the couch, fixing his hair. He’d come to the studio in his work out shirt and shorts, and you knew why. “Let’s go to the gym.”
“Do we have to, hyung?” you pouted, hoping your cuteness might persuade him otherwise. “We have so much work to do here.”
"Actually, you’re done for today, hyung,” Han said, smirking as his words pushed you further to the gym-route. “We’re doing the next song tomorrow.”
“Stop being a baby,” said Changbin. “Get your stuff together and we can find a way to make you like getting healthy.”
“I’m plenty healthy,” you mumbled, grabbing your duffle bag from beside the couch.
When you reached the door, Chan caught your attention. You wished he’d worn something else other than a tight black shirt and put a cap over his soft fluffy curls. Even if the other members surpassed all idols with natural beauty, Chan always caught your eye. You stood by the door when he came over to you, Han speaking with the other producers by the boards.
“Hey, if you’re not busy later,” he said, “I thought it’d be cool if we worked on some of your songs? I’d like to add the one you told me about to the repackage album.”
“‘The View’? Oh no, that one’s not ready yet. I don’t think it’ll go well with the vibe of the repackage anyways,” you said modestly. “It’s not even finished.”
“We can work on it together,” he insisted. “I’d like you to be part of the music production too. You have all that equipment in your room; it’s like your own little studio. Why not?”
“It’s just not good.”
“You need to start having more confidence, dude,” he grinned. “Your stuff is great. I mean it.”
Compliments from Chan never cease to make your heart flutter.
“So, we’ll do that and we can get some dinner together or whatever,” he said.
“Sounds good. I mean, I’m going to be beat since Changbin will likely ride me throughout the gym,” you said, “But that sounds good to me.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll tell him to take it easy on you,” he winked. “See you later, bro.”
“Later.”
Working out with Changbin was not on your To-Do list for today. You’d originally planned to go to the practice room for a solo practice run after recording. But when Changbin texted you a photo of his gym outfit that morning, you knew you’d be elsewhere today.
“Hyung,” you whined behind him as you walked to the company gym downstairs.
“You’ll feel better when you’re done,” Changbin said, cutting off your complaint before it began. “It’s good for you to do something besides work. You’re turning to Bangchan-hyung. He does nothing but work until he’s burnt out and running on fumes.”
“I do other stuff besides work,” you scoffed.
“Hardly. I promise,” he said, “After today, you’ll like working out. This is my mission today.”
You walked in behind him to the company gym in your plain shirt and loose shorts, very unenthusiastic about this. You went to the gym to keep up your fitness for performances, and that was all. You learned after four months of being with Stray Kids that Changbin actually enjoyed working out at the gym. This should have been obvious given the guy’s muscled arms, chest and shoulders. The same muscles that had you weak in the knees the whole time.
Memories of the last time you’d gone to the gym with Changbin made you internally cringe. You did your best not to notice his shirt clinging to his torso and biceps that day. Every time he made the softest of grunts, instant images of him making those sounds with you came. You hated being so weak for them; you should be focusing on yourself, not whatever horny desires came to you. You’d debuted, but you still needed to keep improving and working. You couldn’t let Stray Kids distract you with their gorgeous faces, perfect bodies, chaotic energy and open sexuality. While you did slightly more comfortable being open with them, you couldn’t let it slip too much.
“Or we could go to your place?” you recommended to him, putting your personal belongings in the company locker room. “Play Playstation and forget about the gym completely?”
“Another time,” he smirked. “I need a new gym buddy, and it’s going to be you.”
“Why me?” you groaned, following him to the gym area. “I’m terrible at working out.”
“That’s why,” he said. “Is it wrong for a hyung to want his dongsaeng to be fit and healthy?”
“No, but…”
Changbin brought you over to a series of mats lined up in front of a mirror. His eyes swept over you for a moment, then he said, “Don’t worry, YNie. If you get hard again, I’ll take care of it for you.”
“I won’t.”
“Sure, you won’t. Come on, pervert-”
“-I’m not a pervert-” you answered, hiding your face from him.
“Warm up with me.”
You started with simple stretches before he led you in lunges and leg swings to get your legs moving. It became a joke in the group to call you ‘Pervert’ when nobody else was around. You supposed you’d earned it with everything you’d done during pre-debut. While you might act shy about it, you did not mind it so much when they said it with affectionate, teasing smiles.
“You actually do have a good body,” he said when you both laid on your elbows and toes to do high planks. “How often did you work out before?”
“Not that often. Once a week, I think? I did most of it through dancing anyway.”
“You should come more often, especially with me and Chan-hyung.”
“Chan-hyung comes here?”
“Of course he does,” he snorted. “Where did you think he worked out?”
“His dorm. Another gym,” you guessed out loud.
Working out alone with Chan. You didn’t mind Changbin at all, but any excuse to be alone with Chan sounded great to you. Not just because he said when he fucked you, he wanted you to himself either. You enjoyed being in his company. He carried this comforting aura about him that made you feel safe. You understood why the other members felt okay being open in front of him. While you did like being in the studio with him, it was places outside the company building you liked. He often took you out to a cafe around the corner for coffee or you went to parks where you sat and ate snacks together. You talked about everything from your lives before kpop to your families and to your mornings. The warm infatuation you felt around him blossomed into a much grander feeling. When you’d both gone out for drinks after a long practice day, you both stood at the bar’s outdoor area overlooking the Han river. The wind blowing in his black hair, the dim lanterns bringing a glow to his beige skin, you realized not a single soul measured up to him. Not even Jihwan, who once owned your heart. You thought about kissing him. You wished he’d kissed you.
“You like him, huh?” Changbin asked, standing with you from the mats.
“Who?”
“Chan,” he said, “You really like him.”
“Yeah, he’s a great guy.”
He laughed, “No, I mean, like-like him, YN.”
“Oh,” you laughed nervously, looking at yourself in the mirror to avoid meeting his eyes, “I mean, wha-what makes you say that?”
“The fact that you look at him with heart eyes whenever he’s not looking at you,” he smiled. “You’re always looking for excuses to hang out with him, and just him. I know these things.”
“I don’t have a-Wha-I just admire Chan and look up to him as our leader, that’s it.”
“Ha, yeah, you want to look up to him…from your knees.”
He laughed softly when you flicked his shoulder. He brought you over to the pull down machine, since Changbin insisted you should work on your biceps and back for a bit. He helped you grab onto the handle above you, then observed as you pulled it down gently with light weights.
“You know,” he smirked as he adjusted the back to keep you from leaning, “He likes you too.”
“What? No, he doesn’t. We’re just bros. That’s it.”
“Maybe to you,” he said, “But I know Chan. He likes spending time with you in and out of the studio. He picks you to be on his team in every SKZ Code game we play. He naturally sits next to you when we go out as a group; he always chooses to walk next to you. He loves the other members, of course, but he’s taken a special interest in you.”
“Yeah,” you finished your set with a grunt, “Because I’m still new and he wants to make sure I’m adjusting okay. That doesn’t mean he’s in love with me or anything.”
“I know when somebody is in love,” he grinned knowingly.
“Psh, please.”
“Because I was the same way with Hyunjin.”
“Huh?”
“Oh, no not when he was underage,” he said quickly. “I might’ve joked with him about it, but I wasn’t serious about it until about two years ago?” He took up the bench next, and you did your best not to take in the muscles. “We grew closer, and I suddenly got butterflies around him all the time. I liked teasing and joking with him. I found reasons to be next to him, to talk to him, to laugh with him.” He smiled softly to himself as he did his first set. “I thought we’d always be only friends because he was younger, and that’s how we started out. But then, during one studio session, he kisses me. Like, randomly kisses me. Then tells me he’s always had a crush on me, and hoped that all the times I flirted with him weren’t jokes.” He stopped pulling, then stood, “Then you guys started dating?”
“Yeah,” he nodded. “Maybe if you two stopped dancing around one another, you might actually get somewhere.”
“It’s not like that.”
When you went over to the pull up bars, Changbin let you get into position first. He placed both his hands on either side of your torso. He then pressed his lips close to your ear, “In that case, if things aren’t like that,” his hands went to your waist, “There are seven other members who’d love to take his place. I know Hyunjin and I would love you to join us.”
“Hyung,” you breathed, a special kind of warmth running down your body now, “We’re at the gym.”
“That didn’t stop you before,” he said, grabbing your arms to place on the bar above you.
Your hands above your head, Changbin had access to the rest of you. His hands slipped through the loose holes of your shirt, his fingertips grazing your bare skin. You didn’t know if you’d be able to pull yourself up with him right behind you. Yet, you started pulling yourself up at a steady pace. It made your muscles burn slightly from the strain of lifting your body. Changbin didn’t say anything as he held onto your hips, occasionally sliding into your shirt to brush your nipples. Your eyes kept darting around the gym for a sign of a single soul, but the early hour left the place deserted. As you did a few more pull ups, you trembled at the hands going further down your body. Soon, he held you by the curves of your ass as if using you as a weight.
“Changbin-hyung,” you giggled out of embarrassment when you finally let go of the bar. “Here?”
“There’s nobody around,” he whispered, arms going around your waist and face buried in your neck. Planting gentle kisses along your collarbone, he said, “We can mess around a little bit here. I do it with Hyunjin and Chan all the time.”
You gulped imagining Chan and Changbin in a similar position. Then, you gasped when the hands on your ass gently pulled down the back of your shorts. The sudden exposure left you flustered and not sure what to do. Tightness built up in your lower gut when Changbin pressed his groin to your bare ass, the smooth fabric of his shorts dragging up the crack.
“You should do a few squats,” he said, voice low and breathy as he grabbed one of your cheeks. “It’ll help with your thighs and keep this ass in perfect shape.”
“You think my ass is nice?” you replied.
“More than nice, trust me.”
He spat on his fingers and slipped them between your cheeks. A gasp left you when the two fingers brushed right to your entrance, and you might’ve folded right then. Still, you got into the proper upright position and began taking careful squats. It didn’t help that each brush put you right against Changbin’s wet fingers. Sometimes, he’d stop you just to tease. He started with slow circles around it, going up and over at times before returning to the torturous touch. It brought on a tickling sensation that hit your core multiple times. Your loins might’ve been on fire from how he so expertly teased you. Whenever you grew shaky, he’d give a soft laugh and slide his fingers down to your balls for a few delicate rubs.
“Changbin…” you whimpered when he did this. You completely forgot the burning in your legs due to the pleasure pulsating to the apex of your thighs. “That feels so good.”
“It makes you reconsider coming to the gym with me again, huh?” he teased, pushing his finger to your hole when you stopped squatting.“I don’t mind doing this with you any time.”
One arm around your waist, he slid his hand under your shirt to tease your nipple. You did nothing to push him away; it felt too good to stop him. You wished he’d do more.
“Don’t say that.”
“Why?”
“Because then I’ll want to do it all the time.”
“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” he chuckled, pushing his finger in another knuckle. Your body contorted backwards to the finger probing your ass. His thumb brushed over your middle of your nipple, adding to the arousal in your lower belly. “The gym is the best place for it. There’s lots of places for me to work out both my muscles and pretty boys like you.” You whined when he withdrew his hand, unable to avoid the emptiness he left behind. An idea came to him as he brought your lips to his, “Come to the bench press with me. You need to work out your chest.”
The bench press proved to have nothing to really do with working on your pectorals. It served to let Changbin’s fingertips sail up and down your torso teasingly between sets. He’d added weights to either side for you when he saw the normal 20kg on each side was nothing to you. The only time he did not touch you was when you were lifting, since too much distraction might make you lose your grip. When he saw you struggle on the last set, your arms burning, he straddled you to help you lift it easily. You couldn’t help noticing the bump in his shorts, and how close it was to you. With the bar out of the way, he could easily pull it out and shove it down your throat. You bit your lower lip thinking about it.
“Pervert,” Changbin laughed, shaking his head. He grabbed himself through his shorts, showing the print underneath, “You’re practically drooling for it, aren’t you?”
“No,” you said unconvincingly. “It’s just in my eye line. That’s all.”
“Just like how your pretty lips are in my eye line, right?” he said, rubbing his cock through his shorts. He moved further up the bench until his crotch was inches from your face, “Or how they’re so close they could kiss my dick through my shorts.”
“Yes,” you sighed, mouth watering from the thick outline right in front of your face.
“Go on,” he encouraged, tugging on himself, “Give it a kiss or two, if you wa-oh wow…”
Hooking your arms around his thick thighs, you started kissing right where his ballsack sat. Changbin exhaled deeply when you began a soft trail across both balls, nuzzling them to take in his natural musk through his pants. You kissed up to his shaft, though the position only allowed you halfway. You used your hands to rub the tip steadily growing upwards. You saw his eyes grow heavy with lust, and his chest started heaving slightly from your touches. Your eyes remained locked on his as you licked where his balls might be, the fabric dragging on your tongue which curved to the shape.
“You pretend to be so innocent and shy,” he laughed, doing everything in his power not to grind on your face. “But, you’re just a naughty boy, aren’t you?” When you nodded, grabbing his dick through his shorts, he groaned, “A very kinky, naughty boy.”
“It’s not my fault you all make it so easy,” you giggled. “All I have to do,” you gently slipped his shorts past just the tip, “Is exist around you and you get hard.” You delicately traced the wrinkles underneath the hard head, going down each one until you went back up. “Like, be honest, hyung. You brought me here to fuck me, not work out with me.”
“I did bring you to work out,” he said, eyes closed, “But the fucking part crossed my mind too.”
“Bunch of horndogs,” you snorted, “Every single one of you.”
“Hey, what can we say? We’re young,” he snickered, “And have a lot of pent up feelings.”
“Yeah, sure.”
A trickle of precum spilled from the tip, and you eagerly licked it up with your fingers. Changbin let out shaky breaths as you continued teasing him, gripping the barbell on the rest in front of him. Someone could walk in right then. They could hide in the equipment, pull out their phone and film you driving Changbin crazy. Something about that scared and aroused you. The idea of someone watching you always made you rock hard, especially if they filmed it for later use. You hoped for a moment someone did walk in as you pulled down his pants another inch.
“Let me get on the bench for a few sets,” he said hurriedly. “You can cockwarm me while you watch.”
He lifted his pants up and you both dismounted the bench. You kept your hands in front of your crotch, dying from being so aroused in a public place. This would be the moment that Changbin takes you to the showers, where you both finish each other off. But, instead Changbin put on the weights of the barbell as if you’d hadn’t been teasing his cock seconds ago. You couldn’t imagine how many times he’s done this that he acts so nonchalant about it. You noticed the bulge forming in his shorts, and wondered how he is not dying from shame over it. Changbin laid right on the bench to then do the most scandalous thing.
He pulled out his full cock. You thought you might be in a porn video.
“Spit on it before you sit,” he suggested, stroking himself right underneath you. “I don’t want to hurt you too badly.”
You hadn’t seen Changbin up close on comeback night. Not particularly long, he was certainly thick. It made your cock pulse. Bending down, you drooled over the head. Seeing your spit travel down before he started spreading it over, you took hold of him yourself for several long strokes. You slid the head into your mouth, hearing Changbin give a soft groan, before straddling him on the bench. Changbin gripped the barbell, eyes focused on you pulling down your pants again and aligning him with your ass. You took deep breaths in anticipation of his width stretching you, then slid down. You let out quiet moans in every inch, your heart racing and stomach tightening as he slipped further inside you. When you finally impaled yourself on him, Changbin let out a low groan that tilted his head back.
“That’s so nice,” he moaned, pushing up into you gently a few times to hear you whine his name. “Your ass is squeezing me so tightly. I don’t think I’ll be able to concentrate with you warming my dick up like this.”
“You-Y-You should try, hyung. You’v-You’ve barely worked out today,” you breathed deeply, hands on his ribcage as you fought the urge to ride him. His tip pushed right to your g-spot; you almost lost your mind when he rocked into you. “You’re not the only one who cares about his members’ health and bodies.”
He chuckled at your words, then steadied his hold on the barbell. You sat on his cock, your own throbbing on his stomach in your pants, as he lifted it up and down with ease. His muscles bulged in each angle, his chest and shoulders working themselves each time. You felt up his abdomen when he took a break, feeling to his chest and rubbing along the line between his pectorals. His muscle shirt created a thin barrier between your fingers and his nipples. This distracted him a moment, so he placed the barbell on the rest as his body twitched under you.
“YN…” he laughed, eyes closed.
“I just want to make sure you’re steady,” you said, feeling back down his body. “You have such nice muscles. I want to feel them while you fuck me.”
“In that case,” he took hold of the barbell again, “I should work them out a bit more for you.”
You continued rubbing up and down Changbin’s chest, his muscles moving underneath your hands. The temptation to start riding him came hard, and you found yourself squirming for him to move inside you. You thought he might give in with how you clenched around him, but Changbin maintained his workout. He continued pumping the barbell up and down, taking steady breaths, while still enjoying your hands and ass on him. The small worry that someone might come in and see you sitting on top of Changbin like this came to you again. Your ears kept trying to find the slightest sound of a footstep or door opening as you sat there. But, your burning arousal made it harder to care.
“Ugh!” Changbin grunted on the last lift, setting the bar back on the rest. He held onto your hips, keeping you in place as he started rocking himself to you. You thought you might lose it right there, his tip pressing deep inside you. “I think we’re done for today,” he groaned, “We can continue this workout in the shower?”
“Yes, please.”
You tried not whining too loudly as you forced yourself off him. Your cock tapped against your stomach now, which Changbin noticed right away. Even though you both pulled your pants back up, hands still sunk back into them as you kissed. You whimpered into Changbin’s mouth, tongue battling with his own while he fondled you gently. The touch sent you in a whirlwind. Your desire burned hot, bringing up a surge of excitement during your walk to the locker rooms nearby.
Changbin barely waited to start undressing you. Your back pressed to the cold steel lockers, you kicked off shoes and tore off socks before working on each other’s shirts and pants. Seeing him bare in front of you, cock stiff to his stomach, you couldn’t stop yourself from feeling him all over. You kissed down his neck to his pecs, where you sucked the soft flesh until the spots turned purple. Changbin hissed, but did not discourage you. Your fingers went down his defined abdomen, almost counting each one before reaching the top of his erection. But, you then reached around to feel his strong back muscles. They flexed at your touch, and you moaned.
“You’re so strong, hyung,” you moaned, gripping his broad shoulders and locked yourself around his waist. He carried you to the shower stalls easily; he might have been carrying a lightweight box, in your opinion. “You’re so much bigger than me…It’s so hot,” you giggled.
“Do you like that I’m wider?” he asked, turned on by your response. He put you to the wall as he turned on the shower in the nearest stall.
“I do,” you whimpered. Your cocks pressed together, you couldn’t stop yourself from grinding on him. “I like being thrown around and manhandled by bigger guys.”
“I can definitely throw you around,” he smirked.
He set you down to turn on the shower, then immediately brought you underneath it. The gentle rainfall sprayed over the pair of you; streams slipped between you even in your kisses, falling down your bodies to the floor. Your hands found his pecs again, which you squeezed softly to hear him groan in your mouth. Being this close to him, getting to enjoy his body freely, felt liberating. For years, you felt scared to show even an ounce of interest in another man. The lingering nightmare that someone outside the company found out and your career would be ruined forever often came to you. Beomgyu’s hurtful words and fists became a harsh lesson in showing that who you truly were wasn’t allowed. He would’ve put you in the hospital if the manager hadn’t walked in on it. As Changbin’s hands gently caressed you, you thought of them being harsher and rougher with you. He could break you easily, like Beomgyu.
“What’s wrong?” Changbin’s voice pulled you away, though he simply switched to kissing your neck.
“This feels…good.”
“I know,” he smirked against your throat, leaving a soft bite and lick before moving back down. “It does for me too.”
“No, not just like that.”
“Oh?”
“I’ve never done this with a guy before,” you said, breathless as you felt his hands grab your ass. “I was always scared they might reject me or hurt me. I was always afraid of getting caught. I’ve kept who I was a secret for a long time. I know I still have to, but…”
“Not with us?” he finished your sentence, kissing the other side of your neck as he kneaded your bottom.
“Yeah.”
“Good, because you shouldn’t,” he slipped his hand down your front to your aching dick, “The only pain you’ll get with us is a few hard smacks to the ass, and lots of edging. Particularly with Chan and I,” he kissed you right as you moaned at his touch. “I love seeing the pretty ones wriggle,” he started stroking you slowly, “And whine while I keep them on the edge. Do you like that?”
“I’ve done it to myself,” you admitted, head falling back as more water continued spraying on you, “But not with another person.”
“Then we can do it another time. Time is pretty limited,” he said, thumb massaging your tip, “And I need to have you right now. Turn around, baby.”
You faced the wall, breath growing heavy with anticipation. Changbin crouched down and spread your ass cheeks apart. Water ran down your back to your bottom, where it slipped between your parted buttocks and over the tight hole. It teased the tight sensation in your balls; shooting up to your leaking tip. Changbin’s tongue created a different type of wetness that made you lean into the tiled wall. The tip of his tongue circled and flicked at it, while his hands continued squeezing your cheeks. You even gave a small yelp when he spanked one side, enjoying the small spark of pain and pleasure. Soon, he stood, and your fingers curled to your palms in fists. He did not shove himself into you immediately, though you felt his temptation clear.
“Relax,” he said softly in your ear, tip pressed to your entrance, “Relax for me, baby.”
You tried, but your body still jumped when he pushed the first inch inside you. It certainly stretched. He took a few careful pumps with the one inch before adding a second, then a third. Each time had you simultaneously wanting him to rail you and keeping it slow to make it last. Any moment, you knew, someone could walk in and hear your labored breathing and faint moans. Much like the times before, public sex made you eager for a hard orgasm. The moment Changbin fully filled you, you fell into a spiral of bliss.
“How’s that? It doesn’t hurt too much?” he asked with concern, keeping himself hilt deep to let your body adjust. “Do you want me to take it out?”
“No, no,” you said quickly, “Keep it in me. Fuck me, hyung. Please. I want it so bad.”
Changbin somehow kept a handle on his desires, because he kept the same careful speed. He gave small slaps to your ass, pinching and grabbing the tops of your cheeks to distract you. When he saw this only made you hornier, he kept doing it.
“I think our team might have a new butt,” he said, pushing deep into you as he brought you to his chest. “Yours is so nice. It’s all round and a little plump. It’s just enough to grab onto while I fuck your tight hole.”
His dirty talk only added to the pleasure wracking your body. You reached down to your cock, fiercely stroking to chase down your orgasm. Changbin did not stop you from pushing into his hips, clearly content with letting you use him. His own moans joined yours when you went faster.
“Just like that,” he said, smacking your ass again, “Fuck my dick like that. I want to cum in this nice ass of yours.”
“Yes, please, hyung,” you said, forehead against the tile floor as your body tensed. “Cum inside me. I want your cum dripping out of me, please.”
Suddenly, as if the fates hated you, the shower room door opened. Who the hell could be using the shower first? Changbin stopped right away, alert to the sound and stayed planted inside you. Your body shook against the wall, and you clawed at the grout between the tiles from frustration. Soft footsteps hit the tile floors, likely slippers, as they came further into the room. Panic slowly started setting in when a voice rang out.
“Changbin-hyung? Are you in here?”
Han. You recognized his voice right away, but the panic did not go away.
“Hannie?” Changbin asked, surprised.
“I came to work out. Hyunjin said you and YN might still be here,” he said. “Did he leave already? I didn’t see him outside.”
“No, he’s…He’s here.”
Han paused, then stifled a giggle. “Really? Here, hyung?”
“It just happened,” he said, kissing your neck and feeling safe enough to pull you into him. “He’s so pretty.”
“God, you’re such a slut,” he huffed. “I’ll tell Chan you guys are in here.”
Chan was here? Why did that turn you on more? Changbin and you resumed what you’d been doing, this time with him taking over jerking you off in time with his thrusts. You couldn’t hold back anymore. Your knees and legs started shaking as your orgasm approached. Changbin, sensing this, picked up the pace. The two of you thought Han went back outside before a rush of cold hit you from the shower door. Han stood in his usual gym clothes, smirking with his arm crossed. His eyes scanned down your naked bodies, then stopped where they met. Changbin stopped a second time, head resting on your shoulder, as he took deep breaths.
“Don’t you know not to open a shower door?” he asked, unable to keep himself from grinding into you. “We’re busy.”
“I wanted to watch,” he said. “I’ve never seen YN be the bottom.”
A second person then appeared, and you thought you might cum right then. Chan stood in a sleeveless shirt and shorts, his black curls back from his face. He said nothing as he took in the steamy scene before him. Your eyes met his and you didn’t know what to do except moan. Having the two men watch you made your entire body burn with desire. Your back arched, hands pressed flat on the wall, as you started meeting Changbin’s hips. None of you said anything. Han and Chan started stripping off their clothes, and the more they revealed, the hornier you became.
“God, you’re leaking all over the place, YN-hyung,” Han said in a low voice, taking hold of your dripping cock. He swiped a bit of precum with his thumb to taste it. “You do taste good. Too good.”
“Oh god…” was all you could say, mouth hanging open.
“I was telling him he’s our team’s new butt,” said Changbin, stuffing himself to the brim. “Don’t you think so, Chan-hyung? His ass is as nice as yours, and naturally too.”
“What does that mean?” Chan asked with a laugh, slapping Changbin’s backside.
“He doesn’t have to do squats for it,” Han said, who began kissing at your neck. “Can you fuck me, hyung?” he asked you in your ear, “Hyunjin and Felix always talk about your dick. I want to ride it too.”
“Did your owner say you could?” asked Chan playfully, pushing hair back from your face.
“Yes,” Han said defensively. “You can call and ask. YN’s part of the team now, so he said I could.”
“I don’t have to,” said Chan. “You’re the one he’s going to punish. Not me.”
“Can you both shut the fuck up so I can fuck YN?” Changbin snapped, stopping a third time and driving you insane.
“Are you having trouble concentrating, Binnie?” Chan teased, hand fondling Changbin’s ass. “I thought you’d be so into YN, you wouldn’t notice us right here next to you.”
“If you two would shut up for like two or three more minutes,” he said, his hips snapping into yours.
“Two or three minutes?” Chan smirked. “I’ve seen you last longer than that. You don’t want to leave our newest member wanting because you can’t hold it.”
“Fuck you,” he laughed through gritted teeth. “I’ve been horny all day, and then I have him looking so good in front of me…A slutty pretty boy who loves being fucked in public,” he gave your ass a few smacks, making you whimper and yelp in pleasure. “Isn’t that what you are, YN? A slut?” he yanked your head back and went faster, and you thought you might cum right then. When you did not answer, he slapped your ass again. “Answer me.”
“Yes,” you cried at a few more spanks. “Yes, I am.”
The three members laughed, “Good,” said Han, going back to stroking your dick, “I’m a slut too. We can be sluts together.”
“And I love watching sluts get fucked,” Chan told you, pinching your nipple hard. “I love watching you get fucked,” he said in your ear, kissing the lobe before giving it a light tug with his teeth. “Let Changbin finish you off, cutie. I want to watch you cum the way you did last time.”
Changbin kept the same speed, driving you mad with pleasure as the other two continued touching you both. Your moans and groans ricocheting off the shower walls, none of you caring if you’d be overheard. Balls slapping, hips meeting and hands smacking asses, you’re sure you were a delicious sight for a nearby Bangchan and Han. The latter steadily worked your dick for you, squeezing the tip and rubbing his palm over it until the sensitivity made you tremble. Chan worked your balls, reaching far enough to fondle them in his hand. You knew at this rate you’d spray cum all over the wall and floor.
“You look so beautiful like this, YN-ie,” Changbing said so only you heard him, “All fucked out and desperate to cum. Be a good boy and cum for Channie-hyung. I know he’d like to see his precious boy cum all over himself.” He bottomed up into you, “I’ll be right behind you, baby. Go ahead and show them.”
Eventually, your nails dug into your palms and your body started trembling.
“There you go,” Chan said, “Go on. Cum for us. You can do it.”
“Shoot a big load for me,” said Han, licking up your neck as he moved his hand faster. “A nice thick, creamy one for me to lick off you.”
Your entire body came at the mercy of your orgasm. Your back arched, giving Changbin a new angle, and your back went back. Hot cum leaked out of your tip, down your head to Han’s fingers. This didn’t stop him at all. All three men assaulted you with pleasure that prolonged your orgasm until you became too sensitive to handle it. Even then, the barrage did not stop. Han crouched down and did as he’d said: he gingerly and lightly licked up your cock, swallowing the bits on his tongue. You shuddered each time he passed over the head, the most sensitive spot that made your mind blank.
“Trust me,” Chan said, “If you need a place to dump your load, Han’s your guy. He loves cum more than what should be allowed. I’m surprised we haven’t had to pump his stomach,” he chuckled softly, kissing your neck softly.
“It’s yummy,” Han said, not denying the fact at all. “I like when it twitches in my mouth and throat; it makes me so hard so fast.”
“Shut. Up,” grunted Changbin. “I’m-I-I’m alm-most there.”
Finally, a distinct heat filled your own insides. It sprayed over your walls, and soon leaked down to your balls. Changbin’s loud groans could’ve been heard anywhere, but he didn’t care as he gripped your ass hard and pounded out his orgasm. The two of you took deep breaths, slumping against one another under the shower. Changbin kept you in his hold, not as tight but he kept you close. Neither of you spoke, and you felt yourself riding a whole new high.
“How’d you feel, baby?” Changbin asked, kissing your cheek softly. “Do you hurt anywhere?”
“Ask me in a few hours,” you laughed, eyes closed as you basked in the glow.
The four of you laughed, and you and Changbin rinsed one another off before leaving the stall together. Any stress from before had pumped itself out of you, and you felt light as a feather. While Han and Chan stayed in the shower, likely about to work on one another, you and Changbin left for the locker room. You forced yourself to dry off, knowing you’ll be properly washing at home, because your body screamed for rest. When you sat down to pull on socks and shoes, Changbin sat on the bench in front of you.
“I told you he liked you,” said Changbin. “If he just wanted to screw you, he would’ve done it; not wait until it’s just you two to do it.”
“He probably didn’t want to be rushed,” Sitting down proved to be a bad idea, and you quickly pulled on both your shoes. “Some guys can’t perform under pressure,” you grinned over at him.
“It’s hard to concentrate with them talking so much,” he said, blushing and tapping your foot with his.
“But you were talking too, hyung,” you laughed, grabbing your bag and following him out of the gym.
“A bit of dirty talk isn’t a big deal, but I wanted to focus on getting you there,” he stopped by the door to plant a kiss on you. “I wanted you to cum as hard as you could, and I can’t do that if they’re yapping away.”
The both of you laughed, sharing another kiss, before leaving the locker room. You climbed into Changbin’s car when you reached it, and you thought you might fall asleep in the passenger seat. You each decided a good lunch was in order, so Changbin drove to a place he loved. While you waited for your food at a pick up spot, your phone buzzed.
‘You did great today,’ Chan’s message read. ‘In the studio and in the shower 😉 How’re you feeling?’
You squirmed from the butterflies in your stomach.
‘We’re getting food, so I’ll likely be out of order for the rest of the day lol’
‘I know Innie keeps ice packs in your freezer, so I recommend using those haha Changbin is big in lots of ways.’
“He’s texting you, isn’t he?” Changbin asked, a teasing grin on his face.
“He’s only checking on me.”
“Hmph, strange. He isn’t texting me to check on me.”
“You weren’t the bottom.”
“But I was there.”
‘I still want to go over that song you’ve been working on. You haven’t shown it to me.’
‘I told you it’s not ready.’
‘But, you said you’re stuck on it. I could help you get it right. I love your music.’
“He loves your music, huh?”
“Changbin-hyung!” you put your phone to your chest.
“He’s in love with you,” he said, picking up paper bags from the counter. “Just deal with it, and help me take this stuff to the car.”
No way. Bangchan isn’t in love with you.
He’s only being a good leader and friend.
***
A/N: Gym sex with Changbin was far too good to pass up, huh? lol I hope you guys liked this one! Feel free to comment/reblog to let me know what you think! <3
#stray kids#stray kids fanfiction#stray kids fanfic#bangchan stray kids#seo changbin#han jisung#changbin stray kids#han stray kids#stray kids smut#christopher bang#stray kids x male reader#changbin x male reader#3racha smug#3racha x male reader
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The Au Pair Boy Part 1
Surprise!!! I have six chapters of this and really need to start getting it out, so I figured with Act 1 ending last week and my backlog on this and Of Butterflies and Backstrokes (Olympic Swimmer) being so low thanks to me trying to the Halloween themed sequel to Icarus (Metal Band) that I would put this out until I build that back up and lower the amount of backlog this one has.
Summary: Eddie Munson is a in bind, set to go on a three month reunion tour, he is in need of nanny for his twin girls Janice and Joan since his partner, Ethan blew up their lives a year ago. Enter nanny extraordinaire, Steve Harrington. Both men struggle with treading the line between boss/nanny and their strong attraction to each other. Will Eddie learn to trust again? Will Steve realize that he was always meant to be right there by Eddie's side?
~
Eddie hung up the phone with a sigh. He wanted to do the tour, because of course he did. But he also had two very rambunctious little girls now. Eddie was a good dad, but he wasn’t the nurturing kind the way Ethan was. But sometime in the last year, Ethan had changed.
He had grown distant and cold, going as far as yelling at the girls which he never used to do. So Eddie quit producing music to give Ethan some much needed time for himself. Fat lot of good that did.
Because apparently Ethan was banging...well, just about everyone but Eddie’s friends. The pool boy, the guy who delivered their food, the cleaning lady, their personal trainer, hell even the barely legal dog walker got more of his husband’s dick than Eddie did.
Which he didn’t find out, by the way. Ethan had told him after handing him divorce papers and legally renouncing parental rights to Joan and Janice. He threw it in Eddie’s face the numerous affairs he had. The one thing he wouldn’t tell him was why.
Why was Ethan so unhappy when Eddie had done everything right?
He buried his head in hands. Janice and Joan were only four and they had been adopted at birth. They never met the mother and were only told that she didn’t want them and never wanted to see them ever again.
So how could Ethan look at those two little angels and decide the same?
Eddie was heartbroken and not ready to move on. So he had agreed to the tour as a way to cope with the sudden explosion of his life. His friends knew Ethan had left, but they didn’t know the extent of his ex’s destruction.
He thought about taking the girls with him, but they were too little. They wouldn’t have fun and would be more terrified then thrilled. So live-in nanny it was.
Thankfully he had a month to find someone who would cook and clean and watch the girls. Especially after having to fire all of his help in the wake of Ethan’s destruction.
He had this.
~
Eddie did not in fact have this. He only had three more days until he left and he was at his wit’s end. He had rejected candidate after candidate for a myriad of reasons. One only wanted part-time despite the ad before a live in nanny. Another said she was strict disciplinarian and thought spanking was the only way to teach a child. And even another just gave off weird vibes.
So he called the agency one more time.
“You’ve gone through all of our female nannies,” the woman huffed on the other end of the line. “We only have male nannies left, surly you don’t–”
“Just send the best male nanny you’ve got!” Eddie barked. “I don’t care about gender for fuck’s sake.”
“I’m not sure–” the woman protested but Eddie hung up on her.
He didn’t have time to listen to whatever excuse she was going to come up with. He was running out of time before the tour and needed someone. Anyone.
He got a call back five minutes later from another woman telling him that they would be sending over their best male nanny at 2pm if that was acceptable.
He sighed with relief. “Yes, that will be perfect. The girls will be down for their nap then.”
“That’s wonderful, Mr. Munson,” she said cheerfully. “The gentleman we are sending over, his name is Steve Harrington, and I sincerely hope he will be a good fit for you.”
“You and me both,” Eddie sighed again. “You and me both.”
~
When Steve got to the house, he would have liked to have said that he wasn’t impressed because he had seen dozens of large houses and even larger sprawling mansions in his time as a full time nanny, but he was. Very much so.
It wasn’t a gaudy modern monstrosity for starters. It liked a Victorian era manor that had been modernized for living in today. It gave off a spooky vibe, but in a fun way and not a horror movie way. Like the Addams family or the Munsters kind of vibe.
He really dug it.
He went up and knocked on the door. It swung open almost immediately to reveal a pretty, petite woman with sparkling green eyes and strawberry blonde hair. She had a sweet smile.
He knew this wasn’t the mother, the file said that it was a single father of twin girls. A rockstar of some sort, though Steve didn’t recognize the name. This must be some kind of servant or PA or something.
“Hi, I’m Steven Harrington,” he greeted putting out his hand for her to shake. “I have a two o’clock appointment with Eddie Munson about the nanny position.”
Her smile widened, dimpling her cheeks. “Hi, I’m Chrissy Cunningham, I’m Corroded Coffin’s manager. Come on in, he’s waiting for you.”
Steve followed her through the house. It was just as impressive as the outside. It was beautifully decorated in dark browns, reds, and black. God, he hoped he got the job. He could really see himself living here.
She opened the door to the office allowed him to walk through, closing it behind him. Which normally wouldn’t have been a problem for Steve but now he was in a room with the hottest guy he had ever seen in his life and he really didn’t need an erection at a job interview.
Eddie looked up, and yup. Steve was done for. He had the biggest brown eyes he had ever seen outside of a Disney cartoon.
“Mr. Munson?” he said, reaching out for a handshake, mustering up every ounce of professionalism he had. “Steven Harrington, how do you do? You can call me Steve.”
Eddie grinned back. “Hey, Steve. Thanks for coming at such a short notice. I understand you’ve been brought up to speed on everything I’ll be needed you to do?”
Steve crossed his legs and put his hands on his lap. Shit, even his voice was sexy as fuck.
“Yes, I’ll be watching the children twenty-four/seven,” Steve recited dutifully, “with doing all of the cooking and some of the cleaning.”
“That’s right,” Eddie said. “That normally wouldn’t be the case, but I’ve had to recently fire all of my staff. In fact, if you are hired on, you’ll be working with Chrissy over the next couple of months to help bring staff back on. I would be putting a lot of trust in you not to fuck me over.”
Steve nodded. It was a bit like Robin’s period dramas. He would be running the household while Eddie was away.
“Wouldn’t Chrissy be needed on tour with you?” he asked, not sure what her role actually was.
Eddie shook his head. “She usually does, but I need her here to help to get this house running again. It was hard enough trying to explain to the girls why everyone had to leave. Especially their other dad. She just has her own place and a very demanding job. And the other people I trust with my kids are going on tour with me, so...”
“Yeah, I can see that,” Steve said huffing out a chuckle. “I’m willing and able to take the job. There is just one more thing we have to do first.”
Eddie cocked his head to the side. “I don’t think I offered you the job yet.”
Steve burst out laughing. “No, I don’t suppose you did. But you really should. I’m really good with kids, I’m great cook, my references are impeccable, I have a degree in early child development, and you’re desperately out of time.”
“I noticed that all your previous families had older kids,” Eddie said picking up Steve’s resume. “Can you explain that?”
“Yes,” Steve said with a sigh. “Unfortunately, despite being practically perfect in every way,” Eddie huffed out a small laugh, “if I was a woman I would be the most sought after nanny in the whole god damned state. Even more so if I was older fifty. But because I’m a young man not even thirty yet and all they see is a predator.”
Eddie winced. He held up a finger. He picked up his phone and called the agency. “Hello? Hi Nancy, this is Eddie Munson. Yes, I will be taking Steve Harrington on as my nanny. Thank you so much for sending him over. Can you tell me who it was the first person I spoke to this morning? Yes, yes that’s the one. Kindly inform her that pushing harmful stereotypes only makes you look stupid. Mhmm. Yes. Yes. I want her fired. Thank you. Goodbye.”
Steve looked at him in awe. “Oh wow.”
Eddie grinned at him but before he could open his mouth to say something more, Chrissy poked her head in. “Sorry to disturb you but guess who woke up?”
“Janice?” Eddie replied with a fond smile.
“And guess who woke up her sister because she wanted someone to play with?” Chrissy said.
“Also Janice.” He sighed and turned to Steve. “You want to meet my little monsters?”
Steve smiled and stood up. “That was the one thing I was going to suggest we do before you hire me, is meet the girls. But having met their dad, I can already tell they’re going to be a handful.”
“Hey!” Eddie protested. But Chrissy laughed.
“Come on,” he said grumpily, “let’s go see the munchkins.”
Chrissy opened the door all of the way and Eddie and Steve followed her out. They reached the kitchen and there seating at a table were two of the cutest kids Steve had ever worked for. They both had light, curly brown hair and deep brown eyes, but that was where their similarities ended.
The one of the right had her hair pulled back in a messy ponytail with a denim overalls over a pink shirt. The overalls had a cute pink kangaroo on the pocket on the front. The girl on the left had her hair carefully braided and wore light blue shirt and a black pleated skirt. They were both munching on peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
“Meet Janice and Joan,” Eddie said brightly. “Janice is the one on the right and the other is Joan. Janice is the oldest by seven minutes and she never lets Joan forget it.”
Joan stuck her tongue out at her dad around her sandwich and then went back to munching on it. Janice looked over at Steve and cocked her head to the side.
“Who’s that, Daddy?” she asked. And suddenly Steve was struck by how much the little girl acted like her dad.
“Girls,” Eddie said sternly, “do you remember when I said that Daddy was going to be gone for three months and you were going to be looked after by a new friend?”
Joan scrunched her nose and Steve was endeared. “Is he like one of those nannies that were so mean to us?”
“No, of course not, Joanie,” Eddie said, “not a nanny...” He looked to Steve for help.
“I’m what’s called an au pair,” he said brightly. “I’m here to watch over you and do a little of the cooking and cleaning, too. A nanny wouldn’t do that right?”
Joan and Janice shared a glance. And Steve was struck for the first time that they were really were twins. They acted so differently that he had already put them in separate boxes. But they moved in unison as they both shrugged.
“I guess not,” Janice huffed. “Are you going to be fun like Chrissy or strict like Daddy?”
The adults laughed as Steve walked over to the table. “My hope is to be somewhere in the middle. But I guess we’ll just have to see.”
He turned to Eddie and Chrissy. “If it’s all right, I’d like to get started now, give the girls time to get use to my presence while you’re still here, Eddie. That way we can smooth out any real problems before you go.”
Chrissy and Eddie shared a glance.
“Yeah,” Eddie said, “that’ll be fine. Great even. I’ll give you a couple of hours to get your things and come back here. Would you be okay making us dinner?”
Steve beamed at him. “Sure, give me an idea of what you guys like and I’ll find something to make you. Let’s consider it part of the interview.”
Eddie smiled back. “Well I think you have yourself a deal.”
Steve and Eddie shook hands.
This was either going to the best decision of Eddie’s life or his worst. Currently the jury and his brain were still out on that one.
~
Part 2 Part 3 Part 4
Tag List: CLOSED
1-@mira-jadeamethyst @rozzieroos @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @zerokrox-blog
2- @gregre369 @a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @messrs-weasley @cryptid-system
3- @maya-custodios-dionach @goodolefashionedloverboi @val-from-lawrence @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog
4- @justforthedead89 @irregular-child @bookbinderbitch @bookworm0690 @forgottenkanji
5- @anne-bennett-cosplayer @yikes-a-bee @awkwardgravity1 @littlewildflowerkitten @genderless-spoon
6- @dragonmama76 @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt @useless-nb-bisexual @disrespectedgoatman
7- @counting-dollars-counting-stars @tinyplanet95 @ravenfrog @swimmingbirdrunningrock @lingeringmirth
8- @gutterflower77 @a-lovely-craziness @just-a-tiny-void @w1ll0wtr33 @beelze-the-bubkiss
#my writing#stranger things#steddie#ladykailtiha writes#nanny au#rockstar eddie munson#nanny steve harrington
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We Care About You (Part V)
You are forcibly summoned to Teyvat via dream trawling for answers. A long awaited discussion ensues...
Content Warning(s): Xiao Story Quest Spoilers
Notes: SAGAU; GN!Reader;
Word Count: 1.4k
Previous || Next
Taglist: @silverstarred; @victoria1676; @angelofdarkness2; @areaderspov; @andromeda-gay; @ash1; @mercy-not-merci; @toodledoodl3; @jellyedkazoo; @namine123; @innuwu; @agaygothicmushroom; @tired-of-life-86; @fantasyhopperhea; @sweetsourbxtch;
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After you had decided you were no longer going to play Genshin Impact, you felt as if a massive weight was lifted off your shoulders. Had the past few weeks really taken that much out of you?
"I suppose it did," you assumed as you were playing another game with your friend group. "I haven't felt this relieved in a long while."
You and your friend group spent many hours talking, laughing, raging, and sharing memes. When you noticed it was just past midnight, you felt that it was the best time to get some sleep. You bid goodbye to your friends, closed your computer, and went to take a quick shower.
While in the shower, thoughts began to ruminate in your head. "It's gonna be hard for me to find another game that will get me addicted as much as Genshin did. But maybe something in my backlog might work for now."
The thoughts continued after the shower, after brushing your teeth, and after getting in bed. "I almost forget what game I was playing before I started Genshin. Was it something I finished? If not, maybe I should go back to that."
Before long, you fell asleep. However, unbeknownst to you, your computer mysteriously turned itself back on and began to launch a certain application...
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"Do I need to remind you again how to perform Dream Trawler?" Xiao asked.
"Nuh-uh," Paimon shook her head, setting down a Seven-Star Lamp. "Paimon has a great memory! First, we offer incense with respect for Rex Lapis. Next, we meditate and think of our target. Then, we shout 'Bring Forth Sin'!
"It's 'Devayaksha, Bring Forth Sin'," the Traveler corrected as they were adjusting the position of the censer.
"Right!” Paimon nodded, setting down another Seven-Star Lamp. “Lastly, we let loose a couple of arrows towards the two yaksha statues to... to uh... uhhh...".
"Tsk. Fools."
This conversation was taking place while the Traveler and Paimon were setting everything up for the Dream Trawler ritual. However, instead of going back to the two yaksha statues on the southern face of Mt. Tianheng, Zhongli suggested they perform the ritual at Luhua Pool.
"If my guess is correct, [Y/N] will most likely panic upon realizing where they are. If that's the case, it would be better for them if they weren't so close to the harbor. It's best if we do not attract any attention."
Both the Traveler and Paimon agreed. Neither of them wanted [Y/N] to be afraid. They only wanted to give them the warmest of welcomes.
"Are you two done yet?" Xiao asked, annoyed at how long it was taking to get everything set up.
The Traveler and Paimon walked up to Xiao. "Yep! Everything's set up just like last time."
Xiao nodded. "Good. Get ready to initiate the ritual."
The Traveler and Paimon nodded in return. They put the incense inside of the censer and began to meditate.
"Since we are dealing with someone from another world, I would imagine that a great deal of focus should be needed to summon [Y/N]. This is especially true since we have no idea what they look like. I'm sure Xiao warned you of the consequences this could cause should you not take this seriously.
Zhongli's words echoed in your mind as you put all of your focus towards [Y/N].
"Hmm..."
[Y/N], who has been with them since the beginning.
"Ohh..."
[Y/N], who has done their best to guide them along their journey.
"Ahh... Hmm..."
[Y/N]. [Y/N]. [Y/N]. [Y/N]. [Y/N].
"Devayaksha, Bring Forth Sin!"
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... ...
... … …
It's cold.
You shifted in your sleep and immediately felt the lack of bedsheets surrounding your body.
Instead, you felt... rock? Sand?
Slowly opening your eyes, you were met with the cloudy midnight sky, trees with orangish-red leaves, and tall, rocky mountain peaks.
"...Wait. ...Why am I outdoors?"
Your eyes slowly began to adjust to the moonlight.
"...And why does this look so familiar?"
You brought your hand to the ground to begin pushing yourself up, but stopped moving once you noticed the light blue glow surrounding it.
"What the hell?!"
Shocking the exhaustion from your body, you quickly rose up from the floor, nearly losing balance as you stood due to how light you suddenly felt. You looked around the rest of your body and found that you were completely surrounded by the light blue glow.
"This has to be a dream... This has to be..."
"My job is done. I'm leaving now."
Startled, you quickly turned around to find three familiar persons standing a couple of yards away from you.
"Huh? Why don't you wanna stay?" A floating pixie asked.
"...Paimon?"
A short, tattooed man with azure hair scoffed in response. "I don't deal with mortals."
"...Xiao?"
You let out a crazed chuckle. "I've got to be dreaming."
Paimon, oblivious to your decreasing sanity, shook her head. "Nope! We summoned you here via dream trawling. Isn't that great?!"
You were silent for a few seconds before you responded. "Dream... trawling...?"
Sensing that you were still confused, Xiao sighed in annoyance. "You are [Y/N], right?"
Hearing the sound of your name shook some sense into you, but you still involuntarily nodded.
"Good. When you're ready to send them back, speak my name." Xiao told the Traveler before disappearing.
However, seeing Xiao disappear right in front of your eyes shook you even further. "Woah...! That looked way too realistic."
The Traveler let out a small cough to grab your attention. "If you wouldn't mind, [Y/N]. We summoned you here because we've been wanting to talk to you for some time now. Please, grab a seat."
They gestured toward a stone table that was definitely not there the last time you visited. They then sat down on the stone seat facing you. When they looked up, they realized that you hadn't even moved as much as an inch. Additionally, you stared straight at them, yet still appeared lost in thought. Sensing that you may still be bewildered about your current situation, they spoke up.
"You don't need to worry about anything, [Y/N]. There is nothing around here that will hurt you," they gestured to the seat again. "Please."
Had they been unable to see your chest moving in and out, both Paimon and the Traveler would have thought you to be a statue.
"This is a dream. This is real. This is a dream. This is real. This is a dream. This is real..."
Paimon shared a worryingly glance at the Traveler before floating on over to you. You were too oblivious to your surroundings to notice her approaching, but when she finally reached out a hand to tap your shoulder, you flinched back. Hard.
"Wahh! Sorry! Paimon's sorry!" Paimon quickly apologized.
Meanwhile, your brain was working in overdrive to assess the situation. "I felt her! I felt her! I'm not dreaming! I'm not dreaming! This is real! This is real! THIS IS REAL!"
"Paimon get back," the Traveler commanded, standing up from their seat. "They're in shock."
"In shock!? What do we do about that?" Paimon questioned.
The Traveler didn't respond, instead, they slowly began to walk towards you.
Becoming more aware of your surroundings, you noticed the Traveler approaching and slowly began to back up, raising your arms in front of your body. "No no no no. Don't come any closer."
However, the Traveler continued to walk forward one step at a time. They raised their hands up in the air. "It's okay, [Y/N]. It's okay."
You shook your head. "No, it's not okay," you rapidly spoke, breathing loudly. "I'm not supposed to be here."
"Yes, you are. We summoned you here."
You backed up into a broken stone pillar. "Why?" you asked, looking behind you for a quick second. "What did I do?"
They stopped in place before a sorrowful gaze appeared on the Traveler's face. "You’ve done nothing wrong."
Silence hung in the air for an agonizingly long time. Finally, you spoke:
"...Nothing?"
The Traveler nodded. "That’s right. We just want to talk."
You slowly lowered your arms. "About... what?"
Both the Traveler and Paimon smiled. "About our future journey together."
Confusion set upon you once again. "What? But I… I said I was done."
The Traveler sadly shook their head. "We know, but we can't let you leave. Not after all you have done for us."
Paimon chirped in. "Exactly! You're our friend after all!"
Your breathing stopped upon hearing Paimon. After all that effort you put into making amends with them. After believing that it was all for naught.
"You... you see me... as a friend?"
The Traveler nodded, their smile growing bigger. "We do."
Silence fell upon the three of you once again. This time, it was the Traveler who broke it.
"I think it's time we all grab a seat. Shall we?"
---------------------------------------------------------
Author's Notes: I was originally going to make this longer, but I once again struggled at trying to write this scene out. It's hard trying to figure out how people should believably react to this scenario.
Because it's never happened before, duh.
Anyways, the next part will be the end of this series. Stick around for the ending!
#genshin impact sagau#genshin sagau#self aware genshin#genshin self aware#sagau x reader#sagau#sagau genshin#platonic genshin x reader#platonic#gn reader#gender neutral reader#genshin impact
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Hello!!! I love your writing and hcs its so fun and silly!!!! I hope I'm not bothering you and if it's ok do you do headcanon lists? I want to hear more of your hcs if its ok
Hi! You're not a bother at all, I have so many asks I want to respond to but they're never a bother and I seriously think about every single one!
(I overthink asks way too much and then get worried that too much time has passed but I still want to answer them hhh. I also hoard praise like a dragon. I will get to my ask backlog, I've already written a bunch of stuff for them.)
I've seen that list style before, I don't think I've ever tried it? Have I? 🤔 Let's give it a shot with some headcanons. (hold on how do I make a bulleted list on this site) (I need to google it)
Lucifer
He probably greatly enjoys when Asmo does his nails, because that means he can't pick up a pen and is forced to rest for a bit.
I like to think he gets his gloves from the same shop as Barbatos.
I have these gray/transparent hairs in my bangs that are currently not too noticeable (my hair is naturally dark), but they sparkle in the sunlight kind of like hair tinsel. I like to think Lucifer (and maybe Mammon and Belphegor?) have hair like this sprinkled throughout their heads, and that it sparkles like starlight in the HoL's candlelight.
Mammon
He'd probably iron his money. I don't know if the Devildom has bills in their currency or if it's purely coin-based, but if there are bills I feel like Mammon would take the crumpled up ones and iron them crisp again.
I bet he tried to take a bath full of coins just to see what it was like one time and got in trouble for scratching up the sides of the tub.
He goes gambling so often, he's probably good at telling when someone's bluffing. He calls lesser demons out all the time for bluffing to his face and it's incredibly intimidating.
Leviathan
Being one of the Seven Rulers, he's probably just as famous as his brothers and is recognized in public way more than he realizes, but he isn't approached often because he's so famous and powerful. I like the idea of a gap in how he perceives himself (an unconfident shut-in loser) vs how the public perceives him (a strong and mysterious demon within the prince's inner circle).
His tail is long. I made it irl, in-game it's gotta be over 10 feet. I imagine when he's relaxed at home it just splays out however, but anywhere else he keeps it coiled close to his body. Hitting people with the tail would be unbearably awkwardly, he doesn't want to take up a lot of space, and it's probably comforting to keep it close. He could subtly rub his own back with it when he's feeling anxious?
Satan
He knows a guy for everything. He's got a crop rotation guy. He's got an ear piercing guy. He's got ten cursed book guys. If you need something, Satan always knows a guy. Though, he prefers to be self-sufficient. I think of him as a very charismatic person who's great with other people, yet a big introvert.
He's so good at curses that I feel like he sometimes might accidentally put a low level curse on someone, without really intending to. It just happens on rare occasion, especially when he's mad. Someone looks at him funny and is cursed to spend the next three days sneezing every ten minutes.
Similarly, he's the one who uses magic most casually. His room appears the most 'magical' of the brothers, he probably has a very efficient way of incorporating his magic into daily life. (Nowhere near Solomon's extent, but moreso than the other brothers.)
Asmodeus
He probably sings a lot, just for fun, because Ayme-san is such a good singer. You'd often hear Asmo's voice humming or singing when he's home and in a good mood (or bored). He has an easier time memorizing school subjects when he puts it to music.
I bet students at RAD search his seat after school for stray hairs, and then sell those hairs to witches for love potions. It really upsets him but after getting them to stop for a few weeks, someone will inevitably start doing it again.
Beelzebub
Beel probably has one of the fastest reflexes out of anybody. They all have fast reflexes, but I like to think he'd be at least a few milliseconds faster than some of his brothers when physically reacting to things.
I don't think he likes being alone with his thoughts, which is why he's always eating or working out or spending time with his brothers. He might start overthinking things and getting lost in a maze of dark thoughts, so he works hard to keep those thoughts at bay. He has a lot going through his head but is a guy of few words.
Belphegor
I bet he knows so much gossip. RAD students probably have loose lips around him thinking he's asleep, but even if he is sleeping, he hears them and picks up on rumors. He doesn't care at all. He won't go around spreading things more. But it could become intel stored in the back of his mind.
He probably doesn't like to brush his hair - he prefers to have it brushed by someone else - but I don't think he'd allow Asmo to do it often. Asmodeus might get carried away and start giving Belphie high-maintenance hairstyles that are a pain to keep up, so he refuses hair help from Asmo on most occasions.
I was going to write the other characters but this is getting long and I realized it's not quite bullet point-y so it might not be what you wanted. ;u; Hope that's ok, thanks for the ask!
#obey me#obey me!#omswd#obey me shall we date#obey me headcanon#obey me fandom#obey me hcs#obey me headcanons#obey me hc#ask#obey me swd#obey me brothers#obey me lucifer#obey me mammon#obey me leviathan#obey me satan#obey me asmodeus#obey me beelzebub#obey me belphegor
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—Explosive Fixation
part two.
—Synopsis: Bakugou's pride takes a massive hit when he finds himself drawn to someone outside the hero course—the best support course student he’s ever met, and the person who couldn’t care less about him. What starts as begrudging respect (and annoyance) slowly turns into something he can’t ignore. Now, if only his stupid gauntlets would stop breaking long enough for him to figure out how to deal with these frustrating, unfamiliar feelings.
—Pairing: Bakugou Katsuki x AFAB + Support Course!Reader.
—Genre: Slow-burn romance, slice-of-life.
—Tags: Enemies-to-lovers, banter, RBF reader, grumpy x grumpier, miscommunication, one-sided crush, support course expertise, Bakugou struggling with feelings, Bakugou crushing on reader so hard, reader is tired of everyone's shit, reader does not take Bakugou serious AT all.
Bakugou finding himself crushing on someone from the support course? The very idea would have Bakugou ready to throw himself into an explosion, especially since you're not even in the hero course. How did this happen? You're just a regular student from the support department, not some flashy hero-in-training. Hell, you don’t even try to impress people! Bakugou's Bakugou—so why, out of all the people, is he suddenly caught up in the fact that he likes you like that?
It all started with his gauntlets, which were, as always, broken after another insane training session. This time, however, Hatsume Mei was busy with a massive backlog of orders. So, when he stormed into the support lab to demand a quick fix, Hatsume just waved him off with a nonchalant “go ask them” and pointed to you, buried under a mountain of tools and gear. You were known in the department, even beyond that. People whispered that you were better than Hatsume herself when it came to making support items, which was already wild because Hatsume was a freakin' genius. But here’s the kicker—you didn’t want the attention. You didn’t care for the praise or even the stress of constant requests for new gear. Okay, fine. Maybe you do a little. And when Bakugou, the most demanding, arrogant student in the entire school, barged into your workspace, his booming voice interrupting your flow, you quite literally did not want to put up with his shit. “Get out.” Your voice was cold, indifferent, and to the point. Bakugou had expected, well, anything else—maybe some stammering or apologies and you dropping everything and fixing his gauntlets like he demanded. But this? Definitely not this complete lack of interest. He was fuming. “Do you know who the hell I am?” he growled.
Your eyes barely flicked up from the blueprint you were studying, annoyance clear in your expression. “Yeah. And I don’t care. Get out of my workspace.”
Needless to say, Bakugou had never been kicked out of anywhere before, and the fact that you banned him from ever asking for your help? Or, more correctly, fixing his stuff? That hit harder than any villain could. When he ranted to Kirishima, expecting him to agree with how crazy you were for doing all that, Kirishima was disappointed in him—actually disappointed for screwing up such a basic request. You? You were the best at what you do, and somehow, Bakugou had managed to ruin his only chance at getting you to fix his gauntlets.
Bakugou, in classic Bakugou fashion, decides to fix his gauntlets himself. He sketched up the mechanics of his gauntlets, so how hard could it be? Turns out, really freaking hard. Not only does he botch the repair, but his malfunctioning gauntlets accidentally explode during class, damaging some of his classmates and earning him the wrath of Aizawa and everyone else. He’s pissed—at himself, at his classmates, and mostly at the fact that he can’t get those damn gauntlets fixed without swallowing his pride and asking you.
The next time he sees you, it’s different. He doesn’t storm into your workspace like last time. He’s gritting his teeth, practically seething, but he still manages to blurt out, “Sorry for bein' an asshole. Fix this… please.” It sounds like the word “please” burns his tongue, but he says it.
You stare at him for a moment, and give him a sharp scoff but take his gauntlets. As you examined them, you muttered curses under your breath about ��egotistical hero course jerks” and “time-wasting nonsense.” But, despite your annoyance, you went above and beyond. You reinforced his original design, making it stronger, lighter, and more streamlined for better control. When you handed them back, they didn’t look any different on the outside, but Bakugou could feel the difference the moment he tried them on. They were perfect.
For once, he didn’t have anything to complain about.
That’s when the “crush” began creeping in—though he’d rather die than admit it. Suddenly, he found himself making excuses to come back. His gauntlets were “damaged” again because he never knew just when to stop training. His headphones were “broken” (even though they weren’t). His phone “shattered” for no reason. Every stupid thing he could think of, he brought to you, just to have another interaction.
But the funniest part? You never gave him the satisfaction of a reaction. Your resting bitch face (legendary, by the way) stayed neutral, and your voice remained flat, devoid of excitement. You rolled your eyes, cursed under your breath, and muttered sarcastic comments as you fixed whatever Bakugou brought you. If anyone pissed you off, especially Bakugou, you'd mutter high-pitched imitations of their voice while glaring out of the corner of your eye, making him feel oddly uncertain—like he was the one out of place for once.
He hated it. You were smart. You matched his freakish drive to perfect your craft. And worst of all—you looked too good. Even after explosions from Hatsume’s latest disaster left you covered in soot, your tired, messy look didn’t detract from how attractive you were. It pissed him off.
But here’s the thing—he was still a dick. Despite the fact that he’d come back over and over, pretending his gauntlets needed another fix or inventing some nonsense reason to see you, he would never admit to liking you and, so, he’d go out of his way to piss you off just because, well, he can. So, hell no. He was not falling for some support course student who barely gave him the time of day.
...Right?
That’s what Bakugou kept telling himself, anyway, even as he found himself lingering a bit too long in the lab, watching you work with laser focus, unaware of the chaos happening in his head.
Reblogs and comments are appreciated <3
#bakugo x reader#katsuki bakugo x reader#katsuki bakugo#katsuki bakugou#mha#mha bakugou#mha x reader#reader is so done with bakugou#inspired by a bkdk fanfic i found on AO3#bakugou is such a cutie omlll#hes probably gonna be less worried if his stuff will break and more concerned if your too busy to spare him some time to fix his stuff omg#ᴹᴬᴷᴵ ౨ৎ#blk writer
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So I've started a DP writing prompt and I don't know whether or not to finish it so I'll set my base ideas here and see if it hits.
Danny slammed his locker shut, kicking the metal door so hard that it crumpled like a can of soda, barely hanging on by the top hinge. The school was mostly empty, given that school was out regardless. But the remaining students were in a similar state as him.
The students remaining in the school were all in different stages of grief, really. The whole scene looked like something straight from one of Jazz's textbooks. Paulina was picking up her locker, talking with Star about Phantom. Denial.
Danny was the perfect picture of anger. Pure rage leaked from every pore. Star had only just passed bargaining, the mascara tear-stains from begging with her parents are enough evidence of that.
Dash sat against his locker across the hall, staring into blank space. Mikey sat in the cafeteria, head buried into the phone he'd gotten off of his parents.
All of Casper High was like this. Tucker sat next to Mikey, the vibrant screen glaring at his thick-framed glasses. Sam was trashing the art room, her angry screams heard from where Danny stood in the hallway. He'd gotten into his locker and was currently busy tears apart every picture he had with his parents.
What Danny really wanted to know, what all of the students did, was why. Why was this happening? What led to this?
It had started the Friday before, really. School was going as normal. Danny was on edge. There hadn't been a ghost attack all week. He sat in his seat, ready for English class. Mr. Lancer came in. He set down his book, took off his reading glasses, and stared at his class.
"Our funding has been cut." No one says anything. Mr. Lancer sighs, rubbing his face. "I... Shouldn't be the one to break this to you." He turns to the corner of the room. "I... Have to be." He sighs. "Eighteen years ago, I got hired for an acting job." Still, silence follows his words.
"A government-funded project. Full time, the pay was astronomical. I was suspicious, but I was broke. I was so indebted that I would have joined the military. Or, hell, I would've done anything." Mr. Lancer took a seat. "I was briefed on this... This project. The Amity Project. A fake town, something about the ambient air. Genetically mutated kids. I didn't understand it all."
There's a click from somewhere. Just a background sound, hardly anything. "I didn't understand the sheer size of the project. A whole fake town? I-I was in awe. But then, when you guys got here, to this school, and the project took a turn. No longer was the project raising you guys. It wasn't... It was something twisted and wrong. It was torture." He hangs his head. "No one told me. No one told me until it was too late, and I was too far in, and-"
Mr. Lancer swallows. "I'm sorry." He places his head in his hands. "The Amity Project has come to a head. The portal's been shut down, and you all will be... Dispersed. Rehomed."
"Why?" Danny finds the word falling from his mouth before he can even think.
"They say it's because our benefactors were almost caught. Downsizing. I... I recommend you all stay here. At school. Your parents. They... They are your parents, but they are scientists. This has been a job to them. You'll all be given your housing and guardian's information by Monday. I'm sorry."
Danny had only gotten minimal information from his 'parents'. Just that they'd be busy sorting through years of backlogged data. Just that they were upset that it was all over. No one could stand being around the edge of the town- the sheer number of people just on the other side of the fence was overwhelming.
The juniors of Casper had stayed in Mr. Lancer's English class for hours after the bombshell had been dropped. They'd all had some sort of deep-rooted mutual understanding with each other. And they were all feeling. All feeling anger, depression, they were all feeling grief.
The cards that sat in their back pockets, the creased folders, everything. They all stood in a line, now, all twenty-four students. All of the younger students had been cleared. The older ones had already been gone. But they knew, those 24 students, they knew that it wasn't them that the Amity Project ruled around. It was them.
The students looked less their age as they watched car after car pull up in front of the school. They look like warriors, watching the 'civilians' step out of their cars.
Danny is in the middle of the line, hunched forward a bit as he twists and rips at the flag pole in his hands. He crunches it like it's made of playdough, the metal creaking and grinding in his hands.
Sam is to Danny's left, dripping in blood red paint. Her gothic attire is soaked, her hand color is lost to the red. She looks hellious, like she'd crawled from her own personal pit in hell.
Tucker stands to Danny's right. His posture is firm. His eyes are calculating. His jaw is set. His face is stone. He's tall, looming.
... So. Anyways. I'm thinking from here Sam goes with Diana Prince, Danny goes with Clark Kent, and Tucker goes with Bruce Wayne. The rest of the class goes with assorted civilians (or minor vigilantes). The class remains in contact with each other via letters. The story will follow them coping with not being normal, with the rage and anger, and their evolution into being a new phase of heroes. Heroes without masks or names or anything.
Jazz is living with Barry Allen. She was specifically separated from Danny, and kept that way. Vlad is a halfa, but he's part of the project. Dani is his daughter, and Dan was an unscripted blip in time.
Any feedback would be nice! I just don't know if it'll turn out the way I'm thinking it will.
#dp x dc#danny phantom#danny fenton#dc x dp#batman#jason todd#batfam#danny phantom crossover#justice league#diana prince#clark kent#tucker foley#sam manson
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Hey guys, I'd like to apologize for disappearing once again. I seem to end up self-sabotaging myself everytime I try to get back into the swing of things (attempting to do the backlog of comms + doodles, opening patreon). I've been feeling lethargic for some time now & tbh I can't help but remember my mom's situation back then before she got admitted to the hospital. I don't want to go through the same thing so I'm trying my best to pick myself up—even though it's hard. I lost my dad last 2016 then my mom this year & it's just... it's a big blow for me.
I'm sorry if I keep asking for help like this... but I've stretched our budget too thin now since I haven't been able to work on anything. If anyone would like to help, my ko-fi page is open. Any kind of help or support is very much appreciated! 🙏
I'd also like to apologize to those who subscribed to my patreon. I really thought I'd be able to just start right away & draw again like I used to after announcing it here but I thought wrong. I owe you guys a doodle + a drawing session. I can't promise to do them soon but I'll try my best!
Lastly, I've also been thinking of doing an art stream as a thanks for continuing to support me even though I haven't posted art for so long ;_; Nothing fancy, just a simple stream of me drawing on a canvas (I don't have the guts to show my face or talk I'm sorry... 🙈). Tbh it sounds overwhelming but I thought it might help me gain momentum for drawing again. Idek if I'll actually be able to do it, but it's something that's been on my mind for a while now.
I'm sorry again for all this... I'm still a mess atm & so I still keep struggling. But I'm also grateful bc many of you still choose to stay & support me despite the lack of activity. Really though, thank you, thank you so much for still being here ;_; 🙏🙏🙏
#the week after I posted abt patreon was the time I had severe menstrual cramps and I just... lost the momentum after that#even vomitted at some point bc of how bad it was#and then I received a bad news abt the apartment we're renting#caretaker of the apt. said my mom missed a couple of payments before and now I have to shoulder them#im still trying to find the receipts that my mom kept but I couldn't find them so now im just... left w/ another problem#my mood tanked after hearing abt it... was planning to move out in the future to start fresh again but bc of this im not even sure anymore#sighs. im still trying to find the receipts tho so im hoping it was just something they overlooked#im sorry again... don't really want to rely on ppl's donations anymore bc I know everyone have their own needs too#and that's hard earned money... but bc of my situation im left w/ no choice but to try to ask for help again ;_;#thank you to those who helped so far I really appreciate you all ;; 🙏
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Second Chance Sorcerer
Chapter 1 - Phantom Tokyo
Summary: After surviving Mahito's Idle Transfiguration in the Shibuya Incident, Nanami finds himself in an unknown realm between life and death. Will he escape?
Pairing: Nanami Kento x Fem! reader
A/N: I can't believe I actually got around to writing this! *sobs*. I hope everyone does take the time to read it, and enjoys what I've created here. This will be a multi-chapter fic, quite different from the one-shots I've posted before. It was originally made with an OC, which can be read on my AO3 account, but all changes have been made to y/n here.
Thank you @actuallysaiyan for making the lovely title banner and for listening to me rant and giving me all the encouragement to finish this chapter. Everyone needs a cheerleader like you. 💜
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Nanami masterlist
“You’ve got it from here…Itadori kun.”
Those were the last words Nanami remembers saying before Mahito’s Idle Transfiguration fragmented his soul into smithereens. All he felt was pain, gut-wrenching pain as his soul collapsed and rearranged itself, piece after piece trying various combinations of alignment, trying to come back into some semblance of a whole, like chromosomes after being hit with a lethal dose of radiation.
His eyes squeeze shut, senses overloading as he prepares to meet whatever awaits him on the other side. Would it be a lovely afterlife like he’d hoped? Filled with long days on the beach, reading the backlog of books he’d been holding off on? Laying in the sun, no work, no obligations, just doing whatever he wanted to his heart’s content? He felt warmth against his chest, a bright light emanating from it, and for a split second, it felt like someone was calling out to him, a very familiar voice…
And all of a sudden it stops. With a thump, he crumples on something solid, his side colliding with the surface. Was this it? Was he in the afterlife? Nanami hesitantly opens his eyes and takes in his surroundings.
At first, it appears like he’s landed on a sidewalk that wound deeply into a very gloomy and derelict-looking city. He could make out buildings, traffic lights, and little shops tucked away in between these larger structures, all of them looking abandoned or in various states of disuse. Not exactly what he’d hoped for. Was this actually the Great Beyond?
Nanami pushes himself to his feet, relieved when he realizes he’s not in pain anymore. Had Mahito sent him to a separate contained domain? He squints, trying to find his bearings. There was no sunlight wherever he was, but the street lamps were lit along the length of the sidewalk, casting shadows along the way. He cautiously looks around. The place looks strangely familiar…
He grasps his weapon, the blade having still been in his hand when Mahito touched him, and advances down the road. As he walks, he realizes with a jolt that wherever he is appears to be a phantom of his neighborhood. He recognized this road now, as he had frequented it so often. Up ahead was the grocery store he would go to every Saturday. And right opposite it, a little cafe he would sometimes wander into for their lovely croissants and artisan coffee. The more he walked, the more he started piecing together a map of this area, astonished at what he was seeing. This certainly couldn’t be a domain expansion. There was far too much detail resembling the real world and, although the place gave a foreboding aura, seemed to be unoccupied except for himself.
He stops in the middle of the sidewalk, lowers his weapon, and tries to think. Logic was telling him Mahito had sent him somewhere, perhaps a sealed space, rather than kill him outright. But if that was the case, why was he healed? His entire left side which had been covered with fatal burns was gone, the skin healed over like new, his eye regenerated, hair grown back. His clothes and shoes had somehow been restored to their original condition, his glasses back to their position on his face.
Things weren’t adding up. He continued to walk, then came upon a library he remembered passing by in the real world but had never really paid attention to before. Deciding this was as good a spot as any to glean information about his whereabouts, he enters, squinting through the darkness. Lines and lines of shelves stood neatly arranged in the building. Nanami walks between the rows, pausing in between sections for a brief moment before continuing his perusing.
He rounds the corner, then quickly presses his back against a bookshelf as he senses an unusual energy signature fading away from him. So he wasn’t alone, and the thought wasn’t comforting. The energy didn’t match a human or a sorcerer, so he had to assume it was a special-grade curse. After his interactions with Jogo and Mahito, he didn’t know what to expect in terms of its abilities. He was tempted to escape but knew he had nowhere to go. If he was trapped in this domain what hope was there to escape this odd being he was sensing?
Raising the clothed blade with its polka dot pattern, he follows the energy steadily, not daring to breathe too loudly as he advances. It moves stealthily and silently, as though trying to elude him. This makes him immediately wary, sensing he could be getting lured into a trap. He follows at a distance, then stops as he comes to a reading section, the area cleared out and decorated with little chairs, poufs, and tables. Struggling to see in the dim light, he moves into the open, instincts screaming that he’s making a mistake. He pauses, trying to sense the energy again.
“It’s rude to chase one with a weapon you know.” A voice says from directly behind him. Nanami startles and spins around to face his pursuant, arms immediately coming before him to block an impending attack. Upon seeing the sight before him, his gaze fills with both fear and wonder, the being in front of him a vision of amazement.
All he sees at first are a pair of piercing silver eyes that seem to probe the very depths of his soul. There’s a quiet insightfulness to them like he was looking into the eyes of an old friend, yet an unsettling intensity that made him feel apprehensive. The being appeared to lack a shape, but as Nanami took another step back, the light from the street lamps showed it to be made of wisps of black shadowy mist, neither fluid nor gas, swirling endlessly around it.
Something within him tells him he shouldn’t fear this creature, yet all instincts were telling him to charge the attack before it got to him first. They stood, staring at each other through the dimness, before Nanami gathered his courage and asked, “What are you? A curse?”
The being huffs, as if it was an impertinent question. “What am I…Who am I…The question has been asked for centuries. Yet, even I do not have an appropriate answer…But I am most definitely not a curse.”
It glides silently over the floor, and Nanami instinctively raises his weapon. The being appears to look amused, based on the way those intense silver eyes glowed. “Put away your blade, Nanami Kento. The things I could have done to you once you entered my realm can’t be defended against by you, or even a special-grade sorcerer for that matter. I doubt even Ryomen Sukuna would stand a chance against me.” The smoky form billows, ebbing and flowing as it circles him.
Not entirely reassured, Nanami puts his weapon back in the holder of his suspenders. There’s an odd feeling of reverence despite the eerie nature of the being.
“I am what they call The Mediator, The One Before Death, or The Spectator.” It answers his question.
“And where am I?” Nanami asks the shadow.
“You are in between worlds, Nanami Kento.”
“In between worlds?” The blonde man repeated skeptically. Did such a thing exist? He had never given death much thought (beyond the dying part), and always assumed it was like being asleep one moment and waking up in paradise the next. To be in between worlds…had Mahito somehow just locked him away in another dimension that was a bleak version of his neighborhood?
“So…am I…alive? But in another dimension?”
The Mediator looked at him thoughtfully, as though wondering how best to explain to him. “You are alive for now. But you definitely died, otherwise you wouldn’t have ended up here in my realm.”
“I died, and came back to life?” The sorcerer frowned at the obscureness with which this said. “That makes no sense. People don’t just arbitrarily resurrect from the dead. I was severely weakened. My soul was unprotected. Mahito’s attack should have killed me.”
“It did. However, something at that moment reversed the attack and restored the various fragments your soul had shattered into.”
Disbelievingly, Nanami started running his hands over his torso as though trying to find evidence that he had died. It was just…fantastical…impossible…He had survived Mahito’s attack? What divine intervention could have possibly saved him from something so deadly? As his fingers near his wrist, they brush over a small chain, hidden under the cuff of his shirt. He quickly undoes the button and looks incredulously at the small charm, an Aum symbol, dangling from the chain.
“Y/n…” he murmurs her name softly. His apprentice. He now remembers her fastening one of these to not just him but to Ino and Itadori as well before they were deployed to Shibuya.
“That’s probably what saved you,” the being said evidently, interrupting Nanami’s thoughts. “Whatever that is, it was imbued with a heavy concentration of neutralized curse energy. So when you died from the attack, that charm activated and repaired your soul.”
Nanami absently fingered the charm, trying to think. Y/n’s ability to neutralize cursed energy had improved immensely under his tutelage, he knew that, but he hadn’t imagined it to this extent. Her other ability included being able to manipulate any cursed energy she neutralized into forms of heat, summoning flames on her palms that towered at least 20 feet tall. How she had imbued the energy into the charm was anyone’s guess.
“And I’m in between worlds.” He repeats again, trying to make sure he’s not misunderstanding the conversation.
“Indeed. Think of this as your own personal purgatory.” Those silver eyes bore into him like moons against a black sky, waiting to see his reaction.
Purgatory. Nanami pressed his fingers to the bridge of his nose, unable to fathom how insane this sounded. “I thought purgatory was for people who needed to be redeemed.”
“It is usually. But in your case, it looks like the veil partitioning the worlds got confused, seeing as how you left one dead, and then suddenly became alive in another. Death probably couldn’t figure out what to do with you so it sent you here instead.”
“So I’m stuck here?”
Despite the miraculousness of it all, Nanami couldn’t help but feel a twinge of irritation. He had been prepared for death for several years now. So much to the point that he had a will drafted, signed, and sealed, declaring all his possessions to be donated to charity since he had no other family or next of kin. A copy of the keys to his house had been entrusted to the lawyer who had helped draft the will. He had all his affairs set in order with the expectation that his death would be sudden and he was unwilling to burden anyone to deal with the repercussions.
He had known he would die in the line of duty. He had accepted his fate the moment Mahito had laid a hand on him in the underground, welcoming death as a tranquil friend. His whole life had been struggle after struggle, a gamble, clawing his way to stay alive. All he could say was that he had been lucky so far. There had to be a moment when that luck ran out. He had been dreaming of knowing peace and death seemed to be the only option for that.
“Does it bother you, that you are alive?” The purgatory being asks him curiously, noting his less-than-happy expression. “Most would rejoice at this second chance for life.”
The question hits Nanami with a gravity he hadn’t been expecting. “Most people haven’t lived my life. I’ve done enough. I’m tired. I’ve earned the right to a peaceful death.”
“And yet, it looks like someone desperately wanted you to live.” Those hypnotic eyes wander over to the charm dangling on his wrist. “Is that not reason enough? To not want to die?”
Disturbed by the notion, Nanami grips the charm. Y/n’s energy had kept him alive, unwittingly preventing him from moving on into the afterlife. Whether that had been her intent was debatable. Her desperately wanting him to live? It just didn’t seem likely to him. Sure, perhaps she didn’t want him to die in the way that people didn’t want others to die in general. But beyond that? He couldn’t fathom her being so consumed by the thought of his death that she would create a charm that essentially kept him alive after having his soul damaged to what should have been a point beyond repair.
Y/n had a late start in her career as a sorceress, and certain concepts about it seemed to stymie her, more typically seen in a younger student than someone her age. He had repeatedly told her to not worry about him when he took her on missions, to value her life more than his. He drilled it into her head when he taught her self-defense, that if there was an opportunity to escape she should take it, the hand-to-hand combat sometimes leaving bruises on her skin because she’d been unwilling to take a shot at him. It always pained him when that happened, marking her, leaving those unsavory blemishes on her but how else was she going to learn that fairness wasn’t something that existed in Jujutsu? Her willingness to get a little scuffed up if it meant protecting him from a curse irked him. She was rather like a kitten unwilling to be shooed away from a reluctant petter. His lips curled wryly as he imagined her expression if she ever heard that comparison out loud.
‘Don’t be so cruel Nanami san!’ She’d probably say, those large (color) eyes looking at him reproachfully. And for a moment, his mind’s eye couldn’t picture anything else except that; those large (color) eyes, and the shock in them when he told her that he didn’t think he’d live very long. She hadn’t said anything to convince him his mindset was wrong, but she did look like he had betrayed her by expressing his very honest and logical opinion. As though he had broken an oath to her by not saying he wanted to live long and prosper.
Nanami gives himself a mental shake. This wasn't the time to be thinking about Y/ni's opinion on his death. The bigger task at hand now was figuring out what to do about his imprisonment in purgatory.
All the while, the shadow hadn’t wavered and had merely continued to look at him work through his inner monologue. Realizing that Nanami had reached a limit, it said, “No, you are not stuck here. At least, not for very long.”
The sorcerer’s head snaps up at those words, eyes narrowing behind the green glass of his frames. “What do you mean, not very long?”
“Well, the neutralized energy imbued into that charm? It’s not infinitely going to remain contained in that. The seal broke when it saved your life, and it’s essentially trickling out little particles of it. It will run out at some point, although it’s difficult to say when that is.”
“And when it does run out?”
“You’ll die.” The being says simply. “And move on into the next realm. That’s the way purgatory is supposed to work. Cleanse you to be fit to live in the realm of death.”
“And it’s unknown when that will happen?”
The shadow appears to ponder his question before offering a hesitant guess. “A few days, maybe 4 or 5 at maximum, based on the energy intensity that it's currently emitting.”
“And what am I to do for 4 to 5 days here?” Nanami gestures around the gloomy library, obviously not impressed with this arrangement. These extra days before his impending death somehow made a vein pop in his forehead. It was like a pre-death before the actual one.
“Well, you must have noticed by now that this is the neighborhood you used to live in. You are free to wander around here and experience your old life one last time. You can visit your apartment, take the subway and wander around the Jujutsu High campus, or watch a movie in the theater.” The shadow suggested, sounding like a pleasant tour guide for the afterlife. “Think of it as a vacation before your death.”
It struck Nanami as a little absurd but he strokes his chin, considering. “And that’s my only option? To experience my old life before dying?”
“It’s not the only option. You could go back and live.”
A pregnant pause hangs in the air at those words. Nanami’s eyes widen at the thought. He could go back to the land of the living? He hadn’t even considered that as an option. He only had death on his mind. Thoughts of living on a beach, days filled with no responsibility still flickered through his mind but at the same time…
“What is it about life that makes you so hesitant?” The purgatory being asks him inquisitively.
Nanami opens his mouth but no words come out. Had he been thinking about how to escape his situation that all he had ever thought about was dying? It wasn’t unexpected of him. He had learned so long ago that life was mostly shit, with a few moments of relief folded in. At least it was for curse users. He remembers seeing all the people he knew die, how he had tried to escape from Jujutsu, only to be sucked back in because he knew he didn’t fit in anywhere else. When faced with the choice of remaining in a job of corporate greed, or one that endangered his life but was somewhat altruistic, the choice became apparent. He had returned to Jujutsu. Not entirely selflessly, but with the idea that it was the quicker way out of his misery.
“Is there nothing you would like to return to?” The shadow presses. “Remember that you are a very rare case. Hardly anyone ends up in purgatory under your circumstances. I would hate to see a life go to waste because you don’t know what to do with it.”
A sudden memory comes into Nanami’s mind. A day of unexpected frivolity, when Y/n, Yuji, and Ino had convinced him to come along to an amusement park. It was an odd day but to his surprise, he hadn't hated it. Y/n had mostly stayed away from the roller-coasters, leaving it to Yuji and Ino, wandering with Nanami to the food stalls, closer in age to him than she was to the boys. It was a strange feeling of domesticity he had never experienced before, almost like they were a hodgepodge family of misfits. It was the closest thing he had experienced to a normal day in a long time.
But days like that were rare. They were like sprinkles on top of ice cream. People could never have more sprinkles than ice cream. Life just didn't work that way. However, Nanami found himself contemplating his choices. Perhaps he had been so jaded that he thought life was wading through ice cream instead of appreciating the sprinkles? And here he was dreaming about sprinkles when he was stuck in purgatory.
He sighs and shakes his head. “If I did go back, would it make a difference?” He asks doubtfully.
The being’s eyes crinkle warmly, almost like it's smiling. “To one person, yes. And isn't that more than enough?”
The charm swings from his wrist like a pendulum. He considers the shadow’s words and feels his heart clench uncomfortably. The stakes almost felt too high, wagering his return to life on the chance that it would make a difference to Y/n. Well, maybe not just her. He frowns as he feels the energy in the trinket resonate for a brief moment when he thinks of her, as though it was trying to convince him to make the gamble. He had never quite paid attention to her energy signature before now, so concentrated within the tiny object; it felt like a warm cup of coffee on a lazy Saturday morning. He feels disconcerted that he could sense this now and it was making him want to change his mind about dying. He sighed deeply, feeling his resolve begin to solidify, even though it felt like he was making the wrong choice.
“How do I get out of here?”
The shadow has no features except its eyes, but if Nanami could assign it an expression, it would have to be triumph.
“I’m so glad you asked.” It appraisingly looks at him, before continuing. “Perhaps you might want to let the lady know you’re alive.”
“Must I?” Nanami asks with a hint of exasperation.
The shadow looks amused but continues in an even tone. “I’m afraid I must insist. It's better to give people a warning when you’re coming back from the dead. Prepares them for the prospect of seeing you again. Trust me, it’s better that way.”
“And how do I do that?”
It merely continues to look at him with that amused expression and Nanami almost lets out a growl of frustration. “Listen. I died. Then I was told I wasn’t dead, but I’ll die soon. Then I changed my mind and decided I wanted to live. The least you can do is tell me how to get a message out of here.”
The purgatory being laughs; it’s an eerie noise, yet had all the comfort of a long-lost friend. “Very well 7:3 Sorcerer. It’s simple really. To send a message out of here, all you need to do is blend your cursed energy with the cursed energy of the person you’re thinking about going back to life for. Imbue this energy into a small object which will then find a way to its recipient.”
The elementary way this was said nearly cracks his temper. “Is that all?” He asks, unable to keep the bite of sarcasm out of his voice.
The shadow chuckles at this, adding to his ire. “It really is. Just try focusing on something other than your disappointment of not dying today.”
Nanami takes a deep breath and exhales through his nose trying to keep his composure. “A small object…” His hand grips the handle of his blade and pulls it out, eyeing it carefully. The whole blade wouldn’t make it. He just automatically knew it. But he wanted to make sure Y/n would recognize the message was from him. He fidgets with the blade, thinking, and then by accident, the edge of it comes in contact with the Aum charm.
The blend of energy that shoots through him was a shock; a mix of the warm coffee on Saturday mornings, coupled with the calculated preciseness of a seasoned Q-grader who assessed those coffee beans. The polka dots spattered all over the cloth wrapping the weapon glowed at the edges for a brief second before the blade lost contact with the charm.
Nanami observed the whole process with fascination. Dormant instinct took over him, and he moved his hand so that the charm now swung over the blade. Focusing on that combined energy signature, he purposefully touches the charm to the blade. Y/n’s neutralized curse energy flows into the blade, and he feels his own beginning to fuse with it. He concentrates on his ratio technique, and with a flash, all the polka dots lift off the blade, glowing with a pale sea foam green aura.
“Find her,” he whispers to the dots, and in a hazy glow, they vanish.
Nanami watches, as though in a daze, unable to believe what had just happened. He turns to look at the purgatory being.
“Message sent. Now, how do I get out of here?”
The shadow being had been looking at the spot where the polka dots had vanished. It swirls around and looks at him in the eyes.
“By facing your deepest regrets.”
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the crown prince | c.s
summary: with the fall of the king, the kingdom of utopia rest on prince san's hand. but when bounties are put on his head as the consequence of his ancestors' actions, he realize there's a backlog of history to undo and a lot more to prove that he's deserving of being the rightful ruler
pairing: choi san x f!reader
genre: prince!san, commoner!y/n, medieval au, angst, fluff, suggestive
word count: 19k
(ao3) if you don't like lapslock
age 8:
you live in the fifth district, the poorest and most rundown of all districts, sitting at the bottom of the kingdom with a large body of water surrounding it.
the only remarkable thing about the place is the port that's often used for traveling in and out of the kingdom. other than that, rarely anyone from other districts would come down unless they want to be at risk of a flood--which always striked the district the hardest out of any others.
but even then, despite the limited portions of food your family has to survive on each day, or the hardrock wood mattress you guys have to sleep on that frequently gives your aging father back pain, life doesn't seem all that bad.
you still have your family and a roof over your head, and a mind too young and optimistic.
age 10:
just two years after, you soon find out how hard it really is for a kid living in the fifth district, and especially one without parents or someone to love and care for them.
the fishermen had said your parents fell overboard and their bodies couldn't be recovered.
you couldn't believe it at first that no one looked even the least concerned or urgent to search for your parents, but you soon learn that their lives are meaningless, and the people that threw you out after their death made sure you knew so is yours.
"ay, kid, we could leave you out here to die if we really want to," one of the tall, scary looking man says after your episode of protesting and crying starts to annoy him.
and easily like that, they both leave you in the orphanage that's already overcrowded with other children of similar circumstances.
you lose everything in one day; the house your father built from scratch, along with anything that's ever been handmade by your mother, it's all gone. they're both gone, and you feel yourself withering away with all the loss.
before the age of eleven, you become nothing more than a ward of the district and the responsibility to a bunch of strangers who probably doesn't care whether you live or die.
age 11:
it only takes a year for you to become almost nothing like the person you were once before who was cheerful and optimistic.
all of it beat out of you, watching every day as some of the children gets yelled at or punished for doing something so trivial, it desensitized you to the point you're no longer surprise to hear someone get told no one else would want them outside of the orphanage.
you don't talk to anyone or attempt to make any friends. you keep to yourself and would often read any books you could find or hunt for any sewing materials during the few time of the day they let you guys out.
age 12:
during dinner, you hear the group of kids sitting at the nearby table talk about the upcoming coronation of the prince.
"it's not even like we're gonna get to see it," one of the girls squeak, seemingly uninterested in the topic as she pokes her food because it's true.
events like that, especially any celebrations or gatherings are only reserved for those in the second and first districts, who are usually of noble and royal status. not nobodies like you guys down here living off of scraps and remnants.
"i want to see how the prince looks like," another boy adds with a mischievous tone.
you, too, want to see what the prince looks like, but you most likely never will. he won't come here and the chances of you going up there is damn near impossible, it might as well be good as a dream.
but all of the children agrees that he's the luckiest kid in the kingdom, and for that, they hate him for it.
age 13:
through the years, you've been watching as kids go and new ones would come in.
those that left were lucky to have gotten moved or adopted into a household that were willing to take them in, and you, like all the other kids in here, tired of the overcrowding and deteriorating state of the orphanage, hope that a kind family will one day swoop you away.
but it doesn't happen at age thirteen, and you continue to share a bunk with the same girl from three years ago who's been here longer than you.
age 14:
the states of the lower districts only seems to decline as you get older with the corrupted hierarchy and the rich taking all the resources for themselves.
for hundreds of years--you've learned, that it's always been bad, but everything's looking far worse than it has even four years ago.
but with the conditions in the lower three districts deteriorating, the citizens are growing more vocal, bitter, and resentful of those that resides in peace while everyone else is suffering.
the disparity not only made everyone despite the higher ups, but also each other as the stresses of the poor states get to them. and with you living in one of the three's, it made you harbor a hatred toward the top two districts as well, unable to see them past anything but greedy and power-hungry.
slanders of the royal family increased then. talks of overthrowing the king or starting a war for equal resources for all districts, and some even saying they'd rather swim across the ocean to reach kingdom aurora than to live in this "hellhole". but at the time, they were nothing but empty threats to make one feel better.
age 15:
you were so scared at first, hearing of all the horror stories told by the older, taunting kids who's gonna get moved into a family soon, that you're gonna be unlucky for the rest of your life and not get chosen like them.
that you're just gonna stay here until some lowly men decides to buy you off, or probably meet a worse fate.
but one sudden day when the director of the orphanage comes running into the dining hall and announces to all the kids to be on their best behaviors because someone from the second district is going to be coming down the next day, your life changes for the better at the age of fifteen.
you didn't think you had a chance at all, but you still wanted to try because no matter the intense dislike you hold for the two higher districts, if there's an opportunity for a better life, you're going to take it.
it's better than staying here and suffering. everyone else is becoming desperate and you're not any different.
the lady comes the following day as expected, her carriage alerting the entire place of her arrival as all the kids are on their knees with desperation in their eyes.
you guys have never had any visitors from a district so high up before, so this is very crucial.
when she walks in, everyone bows to welcome her, the sight as equally mesmerizing to others as it is to you. never in your life have you seen anyone with so many pearls and jewels, the gown she's wearing made of only the best materials.
it then hits you harder that however this lady decides to take you in, you're going to be living a comfortable life no matter what.
she takes one look around the room, all the children secretly crossing their fingers and it's when her eyes land on you and her lips turn up into a smile.
the director tells her you're a good kid. often guarded and doesn't really get along with the others, but well behaved nonetheless.
it feels weird to be the one everyone's envious of when you were usually on the opposite spectrum, but now passing all the kids as you make way to the front door, all their burning gazes planting a seed of guilt because you understand the feeling all too well.
but with the nation in this state, all anyone can do is look out for themselves. eventually, their time will come, and this just so happens to be yours.
the lady sits you down in the carriage next to her while the coachman leads the way back. she informs you will be working under the family as a servant but will be provided housing, food, and even freedom from time to time.
"i heard you like sewing."
you nod shyly at her words.
"i learned it from my mother."
"good. then you will have the opportunity to hone the skill."
the trip to the second district takes a total of three days, the only times you guys stopped was for food or toilet breaks. when the coachman announces the arrival, your first time seeing the scenery is that to of a fish fresh out of water.
you didn't even know trees or grass could be that green. or that it's not always supposed to feel like a sense of dread that takes the smiles off people's faces until they just look straight miserable.
it's as if you've entered a completely different nation, unable to comprehend the huge difference already, even in comparison to the third district.
the lady is quick to disappear into the house almost the size of the orphanage itself, calling for someone else to escort you around and show what the next couple of years (and possibly, the rest of your life) has in store for you.
you're to wake up at 5am everyday to prepare food for the noble family, and will be sharing a chamber with three other female servants: the main cook, the main cleaner, and another young girl about your age.
you're only allowed to wander during weekends with authorization and is only to go out for groceries or other necessities. other than that, any rule breaking will have consequences.
for the next couple of days, you practice the routine.
waking up in the early morning and prepping breakfast, then cleaning, and repeat for lunch and dinner. sometimes, you'd get to do different tasks like helping the noble daughter pick out a dress or shoes for the day, but that's only if you get called.
you pick up the cooking and cleaning quite fast because you used to help your parents a lot. and though the work hours can be tiring, the food you're eating and the place you sleep in is a lot better.
you also get the occasional freedom and access to improve your seamstress skills, and it's not the ideal life, but it is the best one for someone like you.
--
you hear a grunting sound close by one morning when you decide to wake up earlier than usual.
turning to the source, you see a figure far away near the tall gates, prancing around in his heavy armors with a sword in his hand. the sight definitely amazes you as you're only able to stare in awe before accidentally creating a ruckus that catches the attention of the stranger as he turns around.
it's still dark and you can't see his face very well, only until he starts walking toward you.
"can i help you?" he asks, voice a type of husky but innocent.
"oh, no." you shake your head, "i was just uhm... watching."
he chuckles and looks to the ground, your eyes trained on the way his dark hair ruffles along with his movements until he's staring at you again, finally out of the poor lighting.
he's cute and has childlike features. definitely not an appearance that gives away he could probably slice you dead right now if he wants to.
"you're the new worker," he vocalize, and it takes you a second to figure how he knew, following his gaze to the door of the chamber behind you.
"ah, yes i am." you nod.
"cool. well, i'm the gatekeeper. jongho."
"gatekeeper?" you crank an eyebrow, so far behind on rich people terminology, you have no idea what that means.
"i just protect and patrol the place in case of any intruders. it sounds fancy but it's really not. you don't have to keep it formal, though. we're all servants here."
"i see." you smile tight-lipped.
he also does look a little too young to be manhandling weapons or putting his life on the line, but you too, are also too young to be losing your parents and getting sold off as a servant.
for anyone in the lower three districts, it is all for survival.
you soon learn that jongho was born in the fourth district but he's been living and training here for so long, he can barely recall his time there.
and you're not sure what it is about him that makes you open up given the fact you've been closed off for so long ever since your parents death and the comprehension of the cruel world you're living in, but through the year and before you turn sixteen, you find your first true friend in choi jongho.
age 16:
you get acquainted with hongjoong, a friend of jongho and a messenger who travels in and out of the districts to deliver any important information.
you're not sure how he keeps his identity on the low in spite of the growing tension between all the districts, but jongho assures you he has his ways.
jongho spends his days training with many kinds of weapons; swords, spears, daggers, crossbows, and just about everything when he's not guarding the house--which he usually isn't because the second district is still relatively safe at this time.
but if there is any outside attackers, it would be jongho's and the other men's responsibilities to protect the noble family. it's what they've all been trained for.
you still cook and clean, and your sewing skills have gotten increasingly better that you also started picking up embroidery.
on the occasion, jongho would teach you how to use a dagger just so you'd have some knowledge of self defense and protection considering the alarming state of the nation.
and now that you're living under people of noble status, royal parties and balls were the standards. not that you'll ever get to attend them for yourself, always hearing about it for an alternative or watching the noble family dress up in pretty attires that cost hefty coins before they waddle off in their carriage into the first district.
hongjoong returns a week later, informing you and jongho that the conditions, especially in the fifth district, is really bad that some citizens have decided to risk their lives in hope of reaching the kingdom of aurora since ships and boats cannot be sailed without approval from the royal family.
"it's basically a death sentence to be living in any of the lower districts at this point. i fear if the king doesn't do anything about it, a civil war may be on the horizon."
age 17:
not much changes and hongjoong has said that the king, along with other royal and noble families, refused to take actions since the dividing of resources for all the other districts would cause the first and second to falter because they do not have enough for everyone.
it's better to keep some afloat than to put the entire nation at risk.
"but sir, that's only going to keep running the citizens out of the nation, and the ones that do stay are becoming angry. the first organization against the royal family already formed, calling themselves outlaws. and they're not just ordinary citizens. they could infiltrate the two higher districts if they want to. a solution is not to only keep them happy, but to also prevent a war."
"then strengthen the security. we also have equally skilled men, if not, more. send any able-bodied men to the gates of the first and second district and don't let anybody from the lower threes enter."
age 18:
things only get worse. nobody is allowed to travel freely between the districts anymore and anyone from the first two were strongly advised not to go down because the chances of getting robbed or assaulted are high.
the four working men in the house dwindled down to two because the other two, including jongho, would be sent to guard the entrance. but during rotation when he gets to come back to sleep and eat, he'd tell you that it's eerily quiet, but that all the lower districts know the higher ones are blocking off entrance and might retaliate soon.
"we should be prepared for the worst. hongjoong said the fact they're quiet might mean the organization is planning something."
age 19:
for a while, security at the entrance decreases when it looks like the lower districts weren't gonna try to do anything about it.
jongho and the other men in the house were able to stay around longer, sometimes even for a few days straight without going back, and the outrage did feel like it was just a false alarm.
no one in the higher districts, even hongjoong, were prepared for the storm that is after the calm.
"y/n! wake up!"
you groggily groan at the voice, sounding both hushed but eager as it jolts you from sleep.
it's jongho and he looks absolutely terrified, his figure hovering over your body still in bed.
"come on, y/n! we have to get going!"
you don't have the time to take in anything, jongho already pulling you up harshly to stand on your feet as you hurl out more groans and complaints.
"what's going on? i was sleeping, you know."
"the king is dead."
it's those words that makes you more awake than ever, unable to believe as you just stare dumbfoundedly while he ravages the drawers for more appropriate clothings.
"w-what? h-how?" you can barely form anything coherent at this point, your heart racing so fast.
"he was assasinated," jongho reveals, throwing a loose, oversized shirt at you. "we're not sure how they managed to get that far up the first district, but all this time, that must've been what they were preparing for--you need to get changed."
he throws you a pair of pants and continues speaking, at the same time going through almost the entire perimeter for anything that will prove useful.
you don't even care he's in the same room, your body going into shock and quickly pulling the night gown off before putting on what he gave you.
"hongjoong thinks they're planning a raid, starting from the second district and working their way up. if we stay here, we could get captured, held hostage, or whatever those outlaws want to do with us--here."
he finds the dagger he had given you sitting in the last drawer, pulling the extra sheath out of his pouch and running to tie it around your waist.
"keep this with you at all time, and remember what i taught you. just in case we ever get separated, you need to protect yourself," he demands, passing the dagger to you with an extremely serious look on his face along with the statement just now, making you queasy in the stomach.
you can't imagine having to part from jongho for whatever reason. you wouldn't know what to do.
he gestures to your shoes and you wear it quickly.
"now come on, let's go!" he grabs your wrist and your body flings forward, only managing to grab the pouch on top the dresser before your feet's following his steps out the door despite the lingering sleepiness and that you could be forgetting something else, but it's all happening so fast, your mind struggling to keep up.
you're about to ask him about the other servants, or the noble family, but as he whisk you into the nightly air, the breeze pushing past your skin, you realize that before jongho came, you were alone.
they all left you.
"where are we going?" you ask.
"down to the third district. hongjoong lended me a map and said to go through the forest, we'll catch less attention that way. he said we can stay at one of his hideouts for now."
for the next hours, you don't see anything but trees and branches in your way, and the moon high above the dark sky as it follows both you and jongho.
your feet tired and sore at this point, asking jongho to find a place to sit even for just a few minutes because you might just pass out.
"if we keep at this pace, we'll be able to make it to the third district by morning," he informs, handing over the costrel and telling you to drink.
you nod, passing it back after finishing, observing for a few seconds as jongho takes a couple sips.
"so where did everyone else go?" you finally bring up the question bothering you.
"to the lower districts. i heard some are hoping to reach the port so they'll get the chance to sail to aurora or dune, now that the royal family is in a crisis, people don't care anymore. but as you already know, we have limited ships and boats and it's going to be a bloodbath all around."
he goes on, "we only found out the king was dead when people from the first district started migrating, and then everyone in the second started panicking, and i honestly did too initially. i was about to start heading down until i remembered you."
you smile and nudge the boy with your elbow affectionately.
"if not for you, i probably would've turned into a corpse by tomorrow."
"pfft," he scoffs, "not a corpse but a captive maybe. their target is still the royal family, and now that the king is dead, they'll most likely go after the prince. the raid is just to scare people off so they can bask in the lavish that the first and second district has to offer. but still, it's better to be safe than sorry. they did killed the king, after all."
you take in the information, asking one last question.
"and where is hongjoong?"
"he was also in the second district at the time, but after lending me the map and instructions, he said he's gonna go up in order to get more details; hopefully talk to the prince and will report back in a few days."
"do you think he's going to be okay?"
jongho nods and stands up from the log, reaching his hand out to help you.
"he should be. he wouldn't be able to survive for this long if he isn't competent. but we should get going or else the trip will be delayed."
--
the hideout is a small shack in the corner of the wood, blending into the surroundings so perfectly, you and jongho almost missed it.
it's essentially a square with a single wooden bed, one chair, and a small table with an ewer sitting on top. jongho said the water in there should still be good to use, and that he brought enough breads to survive on for a few days.
"i can take the floor," he says, taking off the crossbow and sword that's been stuck to his body for an entire night and settling them down.
"we can take turns," you offer an alternative, pitying the boy because he's the one who's been doing most of the works.
"alright."
he nods it off. he wasn't gonna fight you on it.
you and jongho passes time by training for the majority of time. sometimes, you'd just watch, but when he isn't worn out by his own routine, he'd tell you the basics of a crossbow and a knightly sword and would proceed to watch you practice with the dagger.
"you're holding it like a coward who's never fought in their life," is his usual criticism.
"well maybe cause i am a coward who has never fought before," you will retort.
"when facing an enemy, you can't show that you're afraid. you have to believe in yourself."
"easy for you to say."
but regardless of his yapping that sometimes make you roll your eyes all the way to the back of your head, he's a good teacher and even complimented you. if saying that you're a lot less awful than when you started, counts.
three days later from when you both settled, the light, passive knock at the door alerts you and jongho, you almost wishing it was one of the outlaws, preferably a weaker member just so you can put what you've learned to use.
but it's hongjoong.
"so what did the prince say?" jongho asks, quick and eager.
"he's recruiting. said he'll take in anyone still willing to stand by his side while he figure things out. he needs time."
"what about the guards and men that were in the castle? isn't it their duty to protect the royal family?"
"more than half of them ran to the lower districts. the outlaws probably won't do much to a normal citizen, but they will be vile to anyone on the prince's side."
"and he didn't try to stop them?" you join, hongjoong turning his head to you and shaking.
"he said he wasn't gonna force anyone who didn't want to stay. but for those willing to fight by his side, he'll take them."
you don't mean to come off hypercritical, but you can't help but think that the prince is being careless.
"but the outlaws want him dead, no? he shouldn't be taking in just anybody. that's too dangerous."
hongjoong just shrugs.
"that was his order."
a silence hangs between the three of you after, and one glance at jongho, you see that conflicted look in his eyes and know that he's about to say something you won't like.
"i'll go."
you snap your neck to him so fast, there must've been a pop.
"what--jongho, no," you object, worry in your tone. hongjoong just standing by and watching the incoming dispute unfold.
"it's better than standing around and waiting for something to happen."
"but putting your life on the line? for all you know, there might not even be a solution at all. look at the state of the kingdom. people are running away, everyone fearing for their own safety. in the end, you could be dying for nothing. did you forget it's because of these people that us born in the lower districts have to live a shit life?"
by now, you're both facing each other and fuming through your noses.
"and did you forget that we haven't been to the lower districts in years? ever since we got the opportunity to move into one of the top two? even if we were just servants, we were living better than a normal family in the fifth district. i was guarding and blocking off an entrance because i was so much better than the people trying to get through. you think i enjoyed doing that shit? no. but it was my job. in some ways, we betrayed our roots, y/n. and you're right. the prince could be lying and stalling out of his ass, but you know... i'm hoping that he's not. because for once, i want to feel like i'm doing something worthy. i didn't train all my life just to guard gates where nothing ever fucking happens nine out of ten times."
you watch in disbelief as he turns to pick up his crossbow and sword.
"so whether you like it or not, i'm going."
he gives hongjoong a stern look, to which the older man returns one, but is soon carried away by your voice again.
"then i'm going with you."
and jongho knows he's going to sound like a hypocrite; the fact he cares for you as much as you care for him so he doesn't want you to put yourself in the face of danger.
he also understands that you share the same sentiment in regard to him, which is why you don't want him to go.
"no. it's safest for you to stay here. you don't have the same training and combat that i do. you can barely hold a dagger the right way and it's one of the most light and basic weapon. those outlaws will pummel you like a bug."
you roll your eyes and you can see hongjoong trying to hold in his laughter.
"well geez, thanks, master. but boohoo. all i know is that i need to stab," you snark, managing to pull a small smile from jongho before switching tone. "i'm serious, though. i know i'm not gonna be pounding anyone, but i'd still like to come with. it would put a lot of my worries to rest knowing you're alive and okay."
"i'll be fine, y/n," he assures, one hand on your shoulder, "and if it'll make you feel better, if hongjoong doesn't mind, he can come once in a while to inform you of what's going on."
you meet hongjoong's gaze at that and he nods with a thin smile.
but that's still not good enough for you because how can you possibly be okay with the only person you can call family, going off and risking his life?
you're not.
which is why when they both finally depart, you wait until they're a good distance away yet still visible to the eye, tying the sheath the way jongho did and sticking your dagger in before taking the costrel he left for you along with the remaining breads and following right behind them.
hongjoong used to travel on horseback but he has to be more discreet this time around, especially going up the higher districts.
you're somewhat thankful for that because you're not sure you can keep up if that was the case.
you stop when they stop, and rest when they rest. you would try listening in on their conversations but it's always inaudible from where you're at.
you put aside the pain of an aching feet or fear of the nightly forest, afraid you would give yourself out.
two days later, you're sure you guys are close. a part of you somewhat curiously pumped because you've never wander up the first district before.
with the sun setting and the stars soon to come out, you're hoping to arrive before it gets too dark because you really are dreading the idea of spending another night hidden behind itchy bushes.
dragging yourself up the steep hill, you can't help but to admire the scenery, the air of utopia still fresh and the birds still chirp like the nation is whole, resuming your steps only to see that you've lost sighting of jongho and hongjoong, and if you're any quicker, they will catch on.
you don't panic just yet, although you're getting nervous, but carrying on because the castle shouldn't be too far from here. as soon as you can spot it, it should be easy to trace it back to the two.
the only problem is how you're gonna get in once you reach it.
as you get closer to the top, you can spot the castle's head peaking, and once finally on flat land, you're able to see the entire thing, and the dazzling white architecture is hard to miss.
the heart and soul of utopia planted right in the center of the first district, and you've never seen anything more sophisticated in your entire life. but as you sneak closer, you're sure that you're not even gonna make it past the portcullis.
if you don't find jongho, you'd be coming all this way for nothing.
--
you've been watching the guards at the gate and their patterns of behavior for the last hour, every time inching closer to the entrance with the least amount of noise as possible.
but you should've known. you've overestimated your ability (by a large margin) thinking you can outsmart people who does this for a living, and of all places, it had to be royal family's. stupid.
you barely take a step when the pressure of a sharp object against your back make your eyes go wide in horror.
you're thinking this is it. you should've listened to jongho and should have not acted like such a know-it-all, because the next time he sees you, it will be in corspe form.
the beating of your heart is loud along with the stranger's breathing, their hand going retrieve your dagger from the sheath, and if they attack, you will have no other way to defend yourself.
"who the hell are you and why are you sneaking around my castle?" the deep, masculine tone drowns your ears.
my castle?
you foolishly turn around like an idiot, feeling the pressure of the object move to your neck instead, looking up at this mysterious stranger but unable to make anything out.
the running of footsteps and commotion can be heard from behind you, a series of voices and better lighting approaching with all the torches in the guards hands, and when you're finally able to make out the pair of eyes staring back, it feels as if you forgot how to breathe.
because if it isn't the most beautiful man you've ever seen, dark locks, sly and sharp eyes to that of a fox that looks disapproving of your choices before it turns slightly softer when he sees how harmless you actually look, the weapon in his hand lowering with a clear of his throat.
"what part of 'it's safest if you stay here' did you not understand?"
jongho's loud and frustrated voice echoes through the entire hall, pacing back and forth in place as he reprimands you in front of hongjoong, the prince, and his other royal companions.
the prince (who you have to make a point one more time that he's devastingly beautiful) was unexpectedly casual when you explained to him you were looking for your friends, even returning your dagger.
"i only came because i was worried about you. i know you would do the same for me."
"yes, but something could've happened to you. you could've gotten lost, or worse."
"as you can see, i'm fine. the most life threatening thing was the prince putting a knife to my back and neck."
"because you were limping around the castle like an idiot."
"well, what was he doing outside of it anyways?"
"why are you talking about the prince like that!" he yells, and the both of you having an awakening at the same time, registers how embarrassing and inappropriate it actually is to be having a screaming match in the royal family's hall, turns to the prince and bow in apology.
"sorry," you both mutter.
"it's fine," the prince dismisses.
when you were still living at the orphanage, some of the kids would often play guessing games about the prince just because the chances of ever meeting him were close to none, everyone might as well get creative.
some assumed he's a snob because kids being kids, they were all jealous of the fact he was living better, and so it's only natural he would think he's better than everyone else.
then some thought he looked like a troll, which was why the king and queen kept him inside most of the time.
none of you guys knew a lot about the prince, but there were words on the street that he almost never went out of the castle; some even using that as confirmation for why he's a stuck-up.
but after meeting him, he's nothing like the kids have predicted.
he definitely does not look like a troll or sound like a snob, at least so far. he's actually rather soft-spoken, though a bit aloof and stoic. but you suppose one isn't gonna be jolly after the death of their father.
--
jongho had insisted that you go back immediately, and you were considerate of the castle's deities enough to pull him outside just to object.
but you only got another line in the quarrel before the prince intervened and much to jongho's dismay, said you could stay for the night since it was getting late and traveling would be difficult.
"but you're leaving as soon as the sun comes up!" he proceeds to nag the entire time you tuck yourself to bed, the prince kindly offering a spare chamber for you to stay in.
"yes. i know," you reply, all snarky tone and turning to face the other way because he's getting on your nerves.
there's a quick silence before the edge of the bed creaks with his weight.
"look, i know you only came because you were worried about me, and you're right, i would do the same for you."
you toss slowly to look him up in the eyes from your position.
he goes on, now locking you in his gaze, "but it's way too dangerous for you to stay here, and we don't know when they're going to attack. and worse, if they see you're in alliance with the prince, who knows what they'll do? i'll be fine. this is what i've trained my whole life for. you just have to believe in me."
you sigh and frown, finally deciding to cave because you do know that jongho is capable. you've never doubted him. it's the opponents that you're unsure of, their next moves could be anything.
"i'll go back, but hongjoong still needs to follow the end of the deal."
jongho smiles warmly, relieved you're no longer trying to fight him on this.
"he'd be happy to."
you nod, figuring that since you're already here, you might as well ask.
"so how many men volunteered?"
"for now, three. me, someone named yunho from the third district, and another guy named minjun. but more might wind up later, who knows."
"i still don't think it's smart of the prince to be taking in just anyone. it's way too risky. you have good intentions, but what about the two other?" you voice concernedly, your forehead starting to crease from the distress.
you just met the prince, but you know that the idea is ridiculous and you don't want him meeting the same fate as his father.
"optimism maybe? i don't know. more than half of the royal family's protections are gone so he probably can't be too picky. but i'd like to think he knows what he's doing."
but he's also still young and is currently in a worse position than his father, the king, who couldn't even save utopia. you don't think anybody is ready to be in his place, let alone lead an entire kingdom that's falling apart.
"alright. then you should return to the others; help them look after the prince. he's going to need it."
"actually, he ordered us to stay with the queen and princess."
you shoot up from position, incredulity written all over your face.
"what--why? all of you guys? then who's going to look after him?"
jongho shrugs.
"i disagree as well, but after all, he's the prince. we can't disobey orders."
"you guys should be allowed to if it's foolish. what is going on in his head?" you shake your own, unable to believe it.
you just know that something bad is gonna happen, and it would be due to the prince's own incompetence.
jongho has no idea either given he only just met him as well, but he's crossing his fingers the prince will prove both of you wrong.
"i have to go. you should get some rest because you'll be leaving in the early morning. i'll see you then."
--
you're woken up by a heavy disturbance, the ruckus happening outside of the room but also sounding so close.
it might be best if you stay here; leave whatever the noises is to the guards in the castle, but you just feel it in your guts that your prediction have came true.
carefully opening the door, you peek your head out, immediately drawn to the bright light illuminating at the end of the hall, and soon, your quick and eager feet has taken you to the shocking sight.
the prince standing before jongho and another guard as they hold back someone you can't quite recall. one of his hand tending to the cut on his left arm, and you can see the red seeping through the thin white fabric.
the prince meets your eyes when he notices you standing outside.
"i knew it!" you screech, your turn to pace back and forth as jongho watches from the side. "he shouldn't have just taken in anyone!"
you found out it was minjun, one of threes who volunteered along with jongho, who attacked the prince. apparently, he had snuck away from the other guards and was in the prince's room within minutes, a sword aimed at the young royal that could've taken his life.
"luckily, he only got off with a cut. i can't even imagine what would've happened."
jongho groans anxiously, the first day on the job and the reality of it already showing its head.
"there's nothing luck-based about the prince's survival," hongjoong's voice has you both turning as he appears from the opened door.
"prince san isn't only highly skilled in all areas of fighting, but he's the best warrior utopia has to offer. he most likely knew about the attack beforehand, which was why he only got away with a cut considering minjun also isn't just an average member of the outlaws," hongjoong reveals, the new information makes you and jongho gawk at each other in surprise.
"y/n," he calls out, and you detach from jongho's eyes to look at him.
"yes?"
"i need you to do me a favor. i trust you enough, and you look rather... harmless."
you pinch in your brows. if he wants to go off about your terrible fighting and self defense skill, he might as well just spell it out.
"the prince said he has a plan, but we're going to need to buy time. and no matter how skilled he is, we can't keep dealing with people coming into the castle in attempts to severe the prince's head. it's best if he's away until we can figure things out, for his safety and the kingdom's."
you only hum and nod, wondering where exactly this is going.
"he'll be leaving with you in the morning."
your face falls in horror, unable to believe they're entrusting the prince to you. the thoughts of being alone with someone like him both terrifying but weirdly stimulating.
"oh my gosh, she's blushing..." jongho yelps, a smirk tugging at his lips. he's seen the way you'd ogle at the prince, definitely something you never did to any other men.
"i'm not!" you cry defensively, embarrassed. "i-i just don't think i'm the right person."
"we just need the prince away from the castle for a few days. for now, it look like the outlaws are not planning on moving up the first district entirely, so the rest of us should be safe as well for the time being. you still remember the way back to the shack, right?"
you nod hesitantly.
"good. then it's settled."
--
the following morning, everyone bids farewell to the prince, the queen and princess wishing him well as the guards and hongjoong stack him with equipments, while jongho makes you carry the food and water.
he takes off the royal attire, disguising himself in commoner clothings instead, as recommended by his companion, wooyoung.
hongjoong promises to report back once things get relatively better.
at first, it's nerve-racking because you just can't help it. the prince is so handsome and your touch-starved body just reacts naturally, but once you figure he isn't gonna talk to you, only gesturing or murmuring out short instructions, the spark wears off.
"we should stop and rest for the night," he speaks more than three words for the first time, laying down his stuff and nodding to the tall tree.
"alright."
you settle your things down as well, plopping against the tree and waiting for him to do the same but he instead pulls out the sword and starts slashing the air.
when he takes notice of your gawking from behind, he apologizes.
"sorry, i'm just... practicing, hope you don't mind. you can rest, i'll keep watch."
you nod it off, sleep soon taking over, but when you wake a few hours later, able to tell from the different color painting the sky, the prince is still practicing and seems just as eager as he was before.
"prince," you call out, his movements halting in place as he turns back at the sound of your voice.
"call me san."
you clear your throat, "uh... san, have you slept at all?"
he shakes his head.
"i was practicing."
you stand up, dusting off the dirts from your pants and growing concerned regarding the sleepless prince.
"you can sleep. i'll keep watch and if there's anything, i'll wake you up," you offer, but he's quick to reject the proposal.
"no need to. i'm not tired anyways. if you're feeling fully rested, we can keep going. the sun is almost up."
you watch in dejection as he goes to retrieve his things because you're not sure you can believe he's not even the tiniest bit tired from everything so far.
--
it takes almost an entire day to reach the destination, your body tired and aching for something to sit on, the minute you reach the shack, you're sprawled all over the chair.
the prince looks just fine, though.
"it's small, but comfortable," you assure the prince just in case he has any doubts in mind. because you initially did, too, but it was surprisingly homey when you last stayed with jongho.
he nods, eyes roaming the small interior.
"it'll do."
"you can take the bed. i don't mind taking the floor," you tell him, but he instead shakes his head.
"the bed's all yours. i'll be outside practicing."
you scowl and sit up from your seat.
"again? we've been traveling all day. you should really get some rest considering you didn't get any the night before."
but he's stubborn, grabbing for his sword again as you can only sigh in disapproval.
"i really don't feel tired."
"then you should eat, at least."
"i'm not hungry."
you end up going to bed alone, only listening to the prince's grunting and slashing outside as he practices like he's trying to reach out to something or someone.
the uneasiness consuming you, seeing him always looking so miserable as if something's bothering him, unable to rest or do anything else.
it's understandable because of the circumstances he's in, but you wish he would be kinder to himself.
you only give him another two hours before taking matters into your own hand, flinging the door open to his figure dancing around the area with his sword, calling his name softly that makes him stop in track to look at you.
"enough," you mumble, quiet but stern, prying the weapon out of his hold with so much power, you think jongho would be proud.
"no, i have to pr--" he reaches for the sword but you move back, the prince grabbing only the nightly air in place.
"no, you don't," you spit, your free hand going to grab his wrist and dragging him back inside. "you need to eat and rest."
the sword clinks the flooring when you drop it, sitting san down on the bed and grabbing some of the breads and dried meat before taking the seat next to him.
"i understand you're going through a lot right now and it's tough, but you need to take care of yourself. you can't wear your body out or punish it. you're not even fully healed from the cut. if something happens, if worst comes to worst, you need to be prepared to fight."
you push the food toward him but he doesn't budge the slightest. his eyes trained on it, but everything else completely frozen.
for a second, you think all the efforts is gonna go to waste because the prince won't listen, but much to your surprise, he starts talking.
"my father and everyone around me would always say i was the best fighter in the entire kingdom; that i was one of a kind, gifted from a young age, and the future of utopia. i used to believe that as well, but what kind of prick can't even save his own father?"
a small gasp fall, fussing under your breath, "san..."
"maybe i'm only as great because i had the access and materials to become great. but in actuality, i would be no more than average in any other scenarios."
"san, you are great. hongjoong said you are, and you even fought off minjun. it's not your fault what happened to your father," determination in your delivery, finding yourself oddly caring for someone you barely knew.
"father did always lived every day as if it was his last. he knew everyone was out to get him..." he fidgets with one of the breads before taking a small bite out of it. "i thought it would make me feel better if i caught his killer, but i really don't feel any different."
"so hongjoong was right. you knew about the attack?"
you watch as he ogles at the piece of bread like it's the most interesting thing in the world, noddling lightly and taking another bite.
"somewhat, yeah. i was the one who found my father's body, and you can imagine… it's not easy for any kid to see their own parent blue in the face, lying lifeless in front of them, and especially knowing their murderer got away. it made me vengeful, but i couldn't act recklessly. i had to set up a bait because i didn't know who it was, but i knew they were coming."
you listen to each of his words so attentively, and you make sure he knows.
"it could've been your friend, jongho, or the others that came along. it could be anyone. it could be all of them. but regardless, whoever it was wanted me dead just like my father and wouldn't have passed up the chance."
you exhale, looking at the prince with sympathy and sadness in your eyes, all this time you really gave him too little credits, one of your hand somehow finding itself on top his resting one and soothing it.
"i can't do much, but i'm here to listen. if we're going to be together for a while, we might as well have each other's back."
and when san finishes his food and actually goes to sleep for the rest of the night (although you did have to fight him about sleeping on the floor), you finally feel at ease, able to go to sleep knowing he's not pushing himself.
san is the first thing you see upon waking up, his figure bending down a couple feet away and drinking out of the costrel.
he knows you're up from the movements, turning to meet your tired eyes.
"good morning."
"good morning, san."
"you should eat first. i left some out for you."
"oh, okay."
you nod politely, throwing the blanket off and getting up from the makeshift bed, but first telling him that you're gonna go wash your face.
"i checked the ewer. there's no more water in there."
"hmm," you hum, attempting to come up with a solution. "i'm gonna go down to the river. i'll be back in a bit."
"wait." his call stops you in track, half your body out the door. "i'd like to come with."
"is that okay? i mean... will that be safe?" because now that the prince is with you, you feel it is your responsibility to keep him out of danger no matter how unskillful you are. you don't want a single sighting putting his life on the line (more than it already is).
"we'll make it quick. besides, i need to wash up as well. i don't feel too clean from all those practices."
the river is actually quite close by, having never been there during your stay in this district but following the sound of nature was relatively easy to do. and you suppose hongjoong chose the spot for this reason.
once there, you're splashing your face immediately and rejoicing in the cool sensation, only just registering san's been watching you the entire time when you turn and meet his piercing gaze.
his expression blank before dropping to a smile at your wide-eye. and the first time that he does, you realize you've never seen him smile, ever. your attention taken away by the deep indentations appearing from his cheeks, and for just a second, your heart feels like it might explode.
but it's his turn with the river, you observing as he mimics you until both your faces are wet and raining with droplets.
"here," you say, pulling out the spare handkerchief you had remember to bring before coming, offering it to him then using the other one for yourself.
he thanks you, about to wipe his face when the striking design catches his eye.
"this is beautiful," he comments, your head snapping his direction. "did you make it yourself?"
you nod shyly.
"i picked up embroidery somewhere after sewing for a while."
the conversation continues on the walk back, san asking the questions because he just grasped the revelation he doesn't know anything about you.
aside from trying to sneak into his castle and being the friend of one of his guards, that's as much as he can recall off the top of his head although you're quite literally in a life or death situation with him.
"you said you picked up embroidery, so are you from the second district?"
san knows almost everyone who lived in the first district, having spent his entire life and becoming familiar with the surrounding neighbors.
during the occasional balls and parties, he'd get acquainted with some from the second districts. but he's never seen you before. if he did, he would probably be able to recognize you.
but he knows that a hobby and skill like embroidery was something only those in the top two could afford. it was a luxury, as much as san hates putting it like that.
you giggle at the thought and shake your head.
"i was a servant for a family from the second, but i'm originally from the fifth. i picked up embroidery because the daughter of the family was pressured into learning and i was there to help sometimes."
"oh..." is all he says.
maybe he expected you to have some noble blood or be from greatness, but the only thing close to the two were the shoes you shined and the people you served.
your entire life, nothing about you was ever great or noble.
you may have ran from the lower district for a better life, but you were never ashamed of where you came from.
it made you who you are, and if anything, you're a survivor.
"yeah..." you mumble, stopping once reaching the shack again.
he picks it up from your tone, correcting himself to make sure you don't misunderstand, "no. i didn't mean it like that. i'm just, curious about you and your background."
"oh?" you squeak, "then what do you want to know, prince."
you take a seat where he was sitting before, reaching for the food he left for you and looking up at him from where you are, wondering what kind of prince would want to know about a commoner like you.
"an iris," he refers to the pattern embroidered on the handkerchief, "was there a reason why you chose it?"
you smile softly, the question taking you back to a lane of memories and nostalgia.
"it was both of my parents' favorite flower. they always did clung onto any sort of hope there was when it came to our living conditions, and father would always used to say the iris not only symbolized that, but also courage and bravery. i don't know how true that is, but i tend to associate the flower with my parents. it was all i managed to take when me and jongho ran from the second district."
"that's sweet," the prince says, making your eyelashes bat as he plops down at the end of the makeshift bed but he never once look away from you. "and where are your parents?"
the death of your parents was once something that was difficult to talk about; a reality that you used to deny because you couldn't accept that they're no longer by your side and sharing the same struggles. because you guys did suffered a lot, but you all had each other.
and suddenly, you only had yourself.
it wasn't until jongho that you started to open up again; learn to let someone into your heart; to share the same struggles and to suffer all over again, but at least with someone by your side once more.
and it's with that lesson that you allow the prince in as well, unveiling some parts of yourself, for some reason feeling like you can entrust it to him.
"they passed away. the fishermen said the sea took them. it's been a long time and i've come to terms with it."
you don't miss the way his chest fall and a sullen look takes over his expression.
"i'm sorry to hear."
his life experiences and pain could never compare to anyone from the lower districts, he understands that all too well; how good and privileged he's had it.
but grief doesn't discriminate, and the feeling is... debilitating.
it makes you go into denial, nothing but a directionless road laying ahead, unable to help but think if you ever will recover.
but he feels a little better after talking to you, a living proof that no matter the loss or grief one goes through, there's a chance he will make it out fine in the end.
--
you're about to go off to bed when you suddenly remember what hongjoong had told you.
"prince," you call from below, the title just naturally rolling off despite the plenty of time he's made clear you can call him by his name.
"we have to change the dressing on your wound."
you get up to go search through one of the heavy bags, digging for some clean linens and vinegar the others had made sure to pack for the prince.
"hongjoong said we should change it every couple of days," you tell him, sitting at the edge of the bed while he stands up from the sleeping position. "your arm, prince." you gesture and watch as he rolls up his sleeve.
your cheeks for some reason start heating up at the sight, the blinking and nervous twitch of your eyes give it away, causing a giggle to tumble out of the prince at your flustered reaction.
"y/n," he speaks, once you've stared for long enough and still have yet to remove the old cloth. "that's what jongho and hongjoong calls you by."
"y-yes." you nod.
"have you ever tend to a wound before?"
"well, no. but i've been instructed on how to."
"i see." he smiles, and you're about to crack at the man in front of you. beautiful smile, perfect features, and some muscular arms to go along with it.
once you've contained yourself (or at least look like it), you unwrap the worn cut-out cloth and replaces it with a new one, every steps of what hongjoong had laid out followed to the very best of your ability.
"thank you, y/n," the prince says one more time, and the last smile on him for the night makes you think he just might be teasing you.
the past few days that you've spent with the prince, he's proven your expectations and predictions wrong over and over again.
almost like everything you've assumed is untrue in the best way possible. his aloof and stoic ways melting into smiles and laughters when you'd tell him stories about the kids back at the orphanage and how they thought he was a troll.
spending days and nights confined to a small space with someone you just met, the idea sounding awful but the reality actually quite nice because it's comfortable with him.
he not only speaks well, his words always the most soft and unoffending as they can be, but he also listens well.
day by day, the doubts you had--whether he would be able to salvage utopia, changes to the hope and belief that he's more than competent to pull it off.
but there's still questions bothering you; the strangeness of the entire picture in how utopia managed to fall to a state this bad in the first place if the prince is as level-headed as he presents himself.
he at least should've been talking sense into the king.
so you finally ask, during a routine morning where you and san have gotten accustomed to waking up the crack of dawn, sitting facing each other and munching away on portions of food that becomes less the more days pass by.
"san," you start, his name now more comfortable on your lips. it makes him pick his up head from the food to you.
"hongjoong said you have a plan, right? the reason they sent you here was to buy time. i-i was just wondering where does it go from here?" you try your utmost best to not sound meddlesome.
you're just worried.
because as much as you enjoy the time together, the unknown makes you uneasy. you don't want to doubt him but you also don't want everything so far to be for nothing.
it's the prince's personal affairs and not yours, but you just wish for there to be assurances; some kind of proof that speaks he knows what he's doing, because the closer you get to him, the more you fear losing him.
"i have a plan, yes," he answers, the calm demeanor on him a complete contrast to the troubled one on you. "why? are you worried?"
you breathe out, eventually nodding timidly.
"it's just that the state of the kingdom right now is really bad and it's going to take a lot to please the citizens, especially the group of rebellions. the idea of peace just seems so... unreachable."
you already sound like you're about to break down, when the prince--the one actually having to deal with it, looks the most calm and collective.
he acknowledges the concern, thinking it's fairly reasonable. actually, he's surprise everyone's been able to restrain themselves from spiraling for this long.
if he was someone else, he don't think he'll be able to put his trust into an inexperienced prince in hope of him saving the entire nation as well.
"the people of utopia isn't aware, but about a decade ago, the king of aurora, the closest neighboring kingdom to us had offered to help the nation after witnessing the terrible conditions most of the lower districts were suffering from," san reveals, "but my father... he denied the help."
you squeeze your brows in disbelief.
"what--why?"
"the king of aurora only requested for utopia's protections and services in return. as you know, we may lack in every other aspects, but armed forces is our strength. almost every men in the nation has some kind of experience when it comes to fighting or self defense. aurora is a peaceful and harmonious nation, but their men do not have the same training, combats, or skills that we do, and the king of aurora acknowledged the fact. though aurora was very unlikely to get into an altercation with another nation, the king said he would feel a lot better with utopia behind them."
"my father didn't see a point in tying ourselves down, binding an 'unnecessary' responsibility to our back. he said our ancestors' done it for hundreds of years without help and it will continue to be that way. ever since then, aurora has shunned us. they're not gonna start a war over it, but in other words: they hate our guts."
there's a pause from the prince, something shifting in his eyes before he starts again.
"i love and cherish my father. he is my father after all, and most of everything i've been taught were from him. i also understand that some of the things he did were for my mother, me, and my sister. but i wouldn't ever tell him i also think he's selfish; that i disagree with his view of the world; with his way of running things."
the pain in the prince's voice and delivery is seeping, your heart curling at the amount of hurt he must keep to himself, but if you can be the one to lessen it just a little, you will listen to his every words.
"but still, he's my father and i miss him. no matter how selfish and unreasonable he was most of the times, i promise that after everything is over, i will hold a proper burial for him. i will also repay everyone that stood by my side... i promise that."
his volume tapers near the end, his gaze melting into yours at the last statement.
"i also promised i will correct the mistakes of those who came before me, and if it takes my life, at least i'll be content that i went down with my morals. that i fought for what i believed in, even if the ancestors come back to tear me to shreds for it."
you chuckle, attempting to hold back just the smallest tear pricking the corner of your eye because all you ever did was doubt and doubt, and every single time, he always proved you wrong in the best way possible.
"so you're going to attempt to make a truce with aurora?"
he nods.
"i have to try. if we want equality for everyone, we can't do it without the help of aurora. if we do it now, without aide, the nation will fall apart no different than it is now. no amount of transports based on utopia alone will be enough. but aurora's economy; the standing of their nation is stable enough that helping utopia back on its feet will barely feel like a lift of a finger to them."
"but how would the message reach them?"
"on the day that i got attacked, i sent out one of my men, seonghwa. he knows the way around the sea best. by now, considering it's almost been a week, he should have already reached aurora, but it will take another couple of days to return. that's why i need to buy enough time for seonghwa to come back. i know the citizens won't believe it until they see the king and prince yeosang of aurora for themselves."
"and just what if the king and prince rejects the offer?" you're just trying to touch upon all possibilities.
"you see... i've thought of that as well. in fact, there's probably a bigger chance of them dismissing it considering our history and all. but if that was the case, i had already told seonghwa to head for dune next. it will take him at least another week and a half because of the distance, but if worst come to worst, that's our last hope. dune would be a lot harder to get on our side because they're not lacking in anything, their only weakness is they don't have any kind of alliance. and i was hoping after we sign a treaty with aurora, we could try for dune because they'd be more willing then, knowing we also have aurora, but that's only wishful thinking."
"you really thought everything through, huh?" you have to admit, you're impressed.
"you have no idea. every night after my father's passing, i barely got any sleep... until you finally enforced it upon me."
you giggle, meeting a soft smile on the prince's lips.
"well you need it. and seeing as intricate the plan of action is, you're going to need it even more. don't overwork your body, get plenty of rest in preparation of the big day. i believe you'll be able to do it."
there's a quick silence in the air before the prince speaks again.
"thank you... for believing in me, and keeping me sane of all things."
"my pleasure."
"but if hongjoong doesn't show within a few days, or does with the bearer of the bad news, we'd have to be prepared for relocation. they will pick up that i'm not in the castle and will try looking for me. if dune is the alternative, we're going to have to buy even more time."
"here," san says, coming from behind to stand in front of you, pulling out his own.
after observing one of his practices, he had asked how familiar you are with daggers since he recalled ripping it out of your sheath that day.
you said all understanding you have of it were from jongho, though he liked to find fault in your execution, and after a couple demonstrations, the prince seems to agree that there's a few areas you could improve on.
"a dagger is a short distance combat. some of the most basic requirements in becoming somewhat skilled at is, is trying to master the three primary positions."
you watch him get into stance.
"the first one is a downward thrust, usually used for an opponent who's not experienced in knife combat."
he acts out the method, thrusting his weapon into the air and turning to you.
"you try."
you attempt to mimic what he just did, the weapon a lot light and easier on your grip because the training from jongho did pay off in some ways.
"not bad," he comments, "just more confidence, and don't be afraid. because trust, when the enemy is coming, they won't hold back."
he tightens your grip on the dagger before stepping away.
"this certain method can also be used when an opponent is equipped with another melee weapon, or a firearm."
you nod, his encouragement and gentle teaching style as he tries reframing from straight up saying you stink in some ways or forms, is definitely preferred.
"got it! you are a much better teacher than jongho by a mile. you're actually nice to me," you joke, and the most flattered smile acrossing san's lips doesn't go unseen.
--
you wouldn't ever say it out loud, not to the prince at least.
that though leaving the place and each other's presence will be for a good cause, in some parts of you, you're already starting to dread the separation.
the parts that already grew fond of him in such a short matter of time, you fear there will never be another chance like this. together.
after everything is over, things will go back to the way it was.
he is a prince after all, and you're just... you.
"so, prince, what is the best defense weapon. figure i should ask from only the most competent person in utopia," you talk from your seat, staring up at him as he preps for another hour of practice.
he promised it'll be only an hour today.
"pfft," he blows, "don't say it like that. you might end up unimpressed."
"i mean it."
"you haven't even seen me on the battlefield."
"but i believe in you."
you hop out of your seat to him, tilting your head, "so?"
"i would say a spear. distance is honestly the best defense there is, though i do enjoy practicing with a sword more."
and that's when it happens. all the long days and nights of peace and harmony comes crashing down, from the corner of your eye catching a cloaked figure from far away standing on top one of the hills with a crossbow in their possession.
"prince!" you cry out, pushing his body away from target the hardest ever as he falls to the ground, and then a short second after, the most painful sensation of your chest being struck takes your vision and breath away.
the last thing you see and hear before fading into utter blackness is the sheer horror on the prince's face as his hands are covered with blood, and the desperate call of your name.
"y/n!"
the sound of jongho's voice makes you think you're in a dream, only until your lids are fluttering open that you see the both, scared but relieved expression of your best friend.
"oh my gosh... thank goodness you're alive."
by how tight he's squeezing your hands, you're glad to know you're not dead just yet.
"where am i?" you ask, your voice barely a whisper.
"back at the castle. you were out for about four days."
"four days?" you repeat, when the memories come flooding back all at once and then some. "the prince."
you attempt to sit up but the dull pain from where you've been hit prevents you, your head falling back into the pillow.
"easy," jongho soothes your body back into position, "you lost a lot of blood, and not only that, the arrow had been poisoned. luckily, the castle has shelves of antidotes for it, but we were all worried that there was just the smallest chance you weren't gonna make it."
he pauses briefly, "the prince got you here in a day and a half... he felt really bad about what happened. he was by your side the entire time and only just left yesterday night when it was announced the king and prince of aurora have arrived."
"aurora have agreed to a truce?" your tone weak, but still filled with excitement, so happy for the prince.
"yes. and hopefully the prince can get them to sign a treaty. that's the plan. it's still going to take them another two or three days to reach the first district, but the prince wanted to go welcome them formally."
"will he be okay?"
"he's under disguise. but you should get some rest and stop worrying about someone else when you're in a worse condition than them," jongho snarks.
"just making sure..."
a smirk graces your friend, a coy look on him.
"what exactly happened back there that's now making you two act like an old married couple forced to be apart? i've known you for longer than the prince and he looked like he was in more distress than i was."
"nothing that is your business," you dismiss, hoping your cheeks doesn't tint a color that gives it away, a chuckle rolling out of jongho at that.
"you used to want to tell me everything. but fair enough. rest and wait until your body is fully healed. i'll visit you every day to update."
it's hard to wrap your head around the fact you didn't wake up for four days--which, more so, should've been the highlight, but you're more intrigued that the prince was by your side up until the last minute he had to go.
you don't want to get overly giddy about it; go beyond what's appropriate and assume that he did so because of another reason, and not just because he felt bad.
but you do wish to see him soon. even if just for a bit.
--
the next few days is a routine, usually consisting of jongho welcoming you with a wholesome breakfast that's more fulfilling than breads and dried meats, then another meal at dinner.
you're in bed for most of the time, your view usually the ceiling of the castle or the empty space around you, everyone busy and occupied now that the plan is becoming a reality.
jongho tries his best to visit you every day, and hongjoong on the occasion to check your condition, but if they're not patrolling outside, they're in halls discussing the next course of actions.
you've heard that the prince have returned just last night with the royals of aurora, not a single peace or quiet outside of your room since.
you can only hope that the loud and muffled voices outside is an indication that everything is going to work out for the prince; for the kingdom of utopia.
laying around in bed all day, only watching as the sun comes up and down as the wind sways the branches outside the window, wishing you could contribute more, if anything than just wait around all day feeling absolutely useless.
the first creak of the door ever since morning is heard, jongho having told you he won't be able to bring the next meal as he'd be out with the other guards but said someone else would.
and every time, no matter how hard you try burying the inappropriate sentiment, you wish it was the prince, even if just to see him for a minute.
you haven't seen him since that day.
but still, you're grateful to have any interactions at all. even if it's not the prince.
"hey," hongjoong greets, a thin smile on as he goes to take a seat on the stool facing the bed.
"hey hongjoong," you return, finally able to sit up without feeling like your gut's about to spill out.
"you doing better?"
you nod.
"a lot better compared to before."
"good. thought i should drop by to let you know about what's going to happen the next couple of days," his voice a deeper, stern tone, "the prince and royals of aurora will be going down the districts, one by one. the prince wants to let everyone know of the upcoming changes and fix that he has in plan. me and jongho will be away, but yunho and the rest of the guards will stay in the castle with the queen, the princess, and you."
"and how long are you guys going to be gone?"
hongjoong shrugs. "really depends. it could be a week, it could be more than that. traveling down to the fifth and coming back up here is gonna be a while. but as quick as possible, i hope."
"okay..." you frown. "just, stay safe."
you care for their safety and wellbeings more than anything. all three people of whom you're most familiar with, going off and risking their lives again. you're going to feel a certain type of way about it.
but they're doing it for a good cause. for the nation. for everyone. and so you allow to put your heart at rest just a little bit.
"don't worry. aurora brought some protections as well, and if we can convince the second district now overrun by outlaws, the rest of them should be easy."
hongjoong leaves after some last words of encouragment, and him wishing you a fast healing process.
later that night, they all left for the lower districts as stated.
--
the castle grows increasingly quiet, all ruckus from before now dwindled down to almost nothing.
the guards are usually busy patrolling outside, even more now that the prince is out, and the only people that seems to actually be around are the queen and princess.
the princess is the one to bring your meals, and you feel awful about the fact when it should be the other way around.
but she is wonderful. soft-spoken, elegant in her manners, and always with a smile on her face although you know it's not easy for anyone, especially what she's going through.
she bears almost no resemblance to san, but there's still some tell-tale features, like their eyes. the same foxy and slanted characteristic trademark on both siblings that looks so mellow on the princess, but entirely menacing on the prince.
"your tea."
the soft call of her voice would get you up from bed immediately, scooting over to thank her as you two meet eyes.
once you start feeling a lot better, able to stand on your feet and support yourself fully, you stroll the garden with the princess as she reminisce about everything crossing both of your path.
"i, too, wanted to be trained in weapons and self defense, but father said it wasn't suitable for someone like me. he would always take me out to the garden instead, in hope i'd develop a liking for it just so he didn't have to deal with the persistence. and i did... i did blossomed a love for gardening."
you scowl at the revelation.
"well, that's not right."
"it's not, but it was my father's order. he was a stubborn man and didn't like to listen to anyone. i wish i could say i saw anything else for father's ending."
both the prince and princess seems to share a mutual feeling regarding the father figure. though they understand the deeply flawed king, it's hard and conflicting when it's your own father.
"brother taught me what he could, which wasn't always possible because father was always around. but san is a good person... despite the amount of pressure father put on him, i believe he would be a great king. better than father himself."
a smile cross your lips at the mention of san.
"i believe he would be a great king, too," you add. you know he will be, and you wish for nothing more than all his dreams to come true.
"brother san seems to have taken a great liking to you," the princess brings up, recalling the signs and body language of her younger brother when he was with you despite your sleeping state and lack of awareness.
an act of affection and fondness she has never seen the prince give anyone before. not even the noble daughters that would show for events.
"oh, no," you deny, shaking your head, but the way your stomach swoops at the statement is real.
"why not?" she tilts her head, a brow raising. "do you not like him?"
"no--i mean, i do. i like the prince as a friend, but anything more than that would be innappropriate, i think." your volume tapers and your eyes shy away from hers, but the soft giggle makes you snap back.
"love is a beautiful thing. you shouldn't run from it, no matter the class difference or adversities. i know my brother wouldn't."
she smiles and pat your shoulder, abruptly taking your hand and leading the way out of the garden.
"so tell me, did you know that the kingdom didn't used to be divided into districts?"
you hum from behind, "actually, i do. i read it in an old history book i found back at the orphanage."
the kingdom used to just be utopia as a whole. no divisions of anything or labels to anyone. but when the capital found out they could cheat the system and hog all resources and supplies by dividing up the nation, the district system was implemented.
and those who lived furthest from the capital suffered the worst due to change, which was why the fifth district, a once fine ground for fishermen and access to the sea, declined overtime due to the lack of available care.
"yes," she mumbles, letting go of your hand and turning around, your feet screeching with the sudden stop. "brother wishes to abolish the system, after mostly everything gets taken care of, of course. by then, none of this 'social class' would matter as much."
you know she means it from the good of her heart; soul just as kind as her brother, but it is not only the struggle of being a fifth district kid, but also the reality of being a no one as compared to a prince.
--
you get accustomed to the newer routine, waking up the crack of dawn to go help the princess prepare breakfast the best your healing body can. just the smallest, throbbing pinch still there when you sit up, but you're fine nonetheless.
the morning when the sun hasn't even shown its head yet, your body still tired and mind hazy, the opening of the door gets a silent groan out of you as you turn to the source expecting the princess to have something for you so early.
but the sight jolts you from sleep, and you know that it's him, even in the faintest lighting.
"good morning," his voice like velvet has you sitting up, your gaze trained on him the entire time he goes to take a seat at the stool.
"good morning, prince," you return, the smallest amount of joy hiding in your delivery because you really are so happy to see him again.
he went back to the princely attire coloured in white, and his hair a slicked back kind that makes him so handsome, although some strands are loose and slightly messy from the many days gone by.
"san," he corrects you, the sound of his actual name so much better when you say it.
"san," you repeat, a short giggle after that he joins along. "so you're back already. how did it go?"
your expression changing to stern that instant, if you stare at him any longer, you might just burn a hole from how serious you are.
"a lot better than i expected," he answers, a thin smile on as he scoots closer. "i really owe it to the king and prince of aurora. if they hadn't took pity in me, i don't know what else i would've done. but for some reason, they chose to believe in me, and i really am so grateful for that."
he must've been so scared but unwilling to show it. unwilling to give away the fear that the kingdom in his hand is so close to crumbling down by a mere inch, everything could fall apart just like that.
but he had to persist through the hardships and doubts; masking any weaknesses because it would scare away the people if he did. if the ruler of the kingdom itself barely has any faith in the situation.
you reach for his hand, the stronge urge to comfort him as the soft look on you melt into his.
"san, they believe in you because they can see that you're capable. and i believe as well, that you from now on, you will make utopia a better place for the people."
he thinks that you always have such a way with words; how they always make him feel so warm and at ease every time. it's never felt so easy with anyone before.
"y/n," he calls almost in a whisper, taking his hands out of your grasp to now enclose yours. "i apologize for not visiting you. but as soon as i returned and had cleared everyhing with the royals of aurora, i came to you immediately."
"no. it's okay. you have a duty as the prince of the nation, i totally understand. there's no need to apologize."
you can feel his grip on you getting tighter, his eyes a type of desperate but also affectionate.
"but still, you saved my life. you traded yours for mine. to me, you're just as important."
you're surprise by the confession, an array of butterflies dancing in the pit of your stomach and you can see the prince growing more tense, but nonetheless, he persists.
"before i go any further, can i ask you one question first?"
you nod at that. "go ahead."
"you and jongho..." he starts, only to thin out before trying again, "are you guys... dating? or, well, do you like him?"
he's nervous and if he wasn't holding you, he would probably start fidgeting to hide the fact.
"me and jongho?" you quirk an eyebrow, failing to hold back the snicker from the thought while the prince just stares dumbfoundedly.
"i love jongho, but he's more like family than anything. we've been through a lot together but i can't see him in that light."
you've given similar answers out a couple times, especially to the other servants who thought you both had a crush on each other.
the prince's chest drop in relief and you can't hide the amusement you get from it.
"what? you thought me and jongho had something?" you can't stop giggling.
"well, i just had to make sure," he says, a hint of embarrassed and shy that is incredibly cute.
he wouldn't tell you that the one time he actually decided to come in the midst of everything, jongho was already by your side and if you didn't look so happy, he wouldn't have went back because he could tell jongho is someone special to you.
"so?" you await what he has to say, the eagerness only making him more nervous.
the grip on you loosening up to a more softer but more intimate one, one of his thumb running over your hand before he speaks.
"i know this might be too sudden and we haven't known each other for long, but, if your heart isn't taken by anyone, i'd like to ask for a vow."
you just stare ahead and wait for him to finish the sentence, your heart beating exceptionally loud.
"i understand it's a bit abrupt, but... i-i've never felt this way with anybody else. there's something special when i'm you, and i'd like to ask for a vow; a promise that we'll reserve our hearts for each other."
he's so scared, willing to take the chance at first because he will regret it if he doesn't. but now, he's afraid he might've ruined whatever he had with you in the first place, retracting immediately when there's only silence from you.
"but it's not an obligation. you don't have to. i'm just--"
"--i would love to," you cut, watching the panic on his face dissipate that instant.
"really?"
"yes. i would love to," you assure once again, the thinnest smile crossing your lips that soon turns bigger when he returns one.
he's absolutely over the moon to know the feeling is mutual; that what he felt and got from the time together wasn't just because you were compelled to treat him equal to his title.
that something more came out of it.
"but..." you mumble, the smile fading when reality sets in again. "is this going to be okay? you're a prince, and i'm just... me."
"of course it's going to be okay. i don't care who or what you are," he comforts, delivery incredibly passionate, you can't fight it. "but more importantly, before you give me your words once and for all, i need to know if you'll be okay with the conditions first. you can be honest. i won't be upset because i would never try to hold you back regarding anything."
"i'm listening," you acknowledge.
"the citizens of utopia have decided to give me a chance. that chance is not only to salvage the nation, but to also prove to them that i'm capable of leading and won't repeat the same mistakes those who came before we did. i don't know how long it's going to take; specifically how many years. but i will crack down on any remaining harmful outlaw members, i will be traveling in and out of the kingdom a lot, and i will be working on making this nation a better place for everyone. that is something i promised to do, and i will do just that."
he takes a deep breath and start again, eyes on yours. "so if you don't want to wait, i won't hold it against you. if there's things or someone better out there waiting for you, you don't have to accept my proposal. but just if you do... if you're willing to wait for me, once the nation is in a stable state and i don't have to stress too much about being all over the place, i promise then, that i will ask for your hand in marriage."
the bold declaration does take you by surprise, hard to grasp that the prince of all people would want to marry you.
"i know it's a lot to take in," he says, "but you don't have to give me an answer now. whenever you're ready."
you shake your head.
"no--i mean, i would love to. no matter how long i have to wait, i think it'll be worth it. after all, the nation is your priority and the people needs you."
he's taken aback by how fast you made up your mind, but overjoy that you want it just as much as he does. he can't be any happier.
"you're sure you want to do this?" he asks again just to be sure, but crossing his fingers you don't just so happen to change your mind.
you nod earnestly.
"i'm sure. besides, i doubt any guy would ever be interested in me let alone want to get married."
he chuckles, a sound you can to listen all day.
"even if they are, they can't get you now. so i don't want to see any of them trying to woo you or something. and you can't give in because you already gave me your words."
it's your turn to laugh, the jealousy endearing on him.
"well how would i know you'll keep your words, too? what if i wait and wait until i'm a grandma with grey hair only for you to take it back? marry someone else instead and say you don't want me anymore?" you tease.
"tskk," he sneer, "that won't happen, because i would never promise anything i knew i couldn't do. so you don't have to worry."
a reassuring smile spreads across his lips as so does yours, seconds passing by when the silence consumes the room and the both of you just stare at each other, completely smitten.
you notice the slightly fallen strands covering his eyes, going to move it with your finger but your hand stopping at his cheek after, a staring contest ensuing before something comes over you, leaning over to deliver a kiss to his other cheek.
when you pull back, the shy and flustered reaction of the prince brings another giggle out from you.
"i believe you, then. go and show everyone that they made the right choice in giving you a chance. go and make the nation a better place for the citizens. no matter how long, when you come back, i'll be right here... for you."
age 20:
you're twenty years old when the district system is abolished, and when you're nearing twenty-one, it will have been a year since you've spoken to the prince, and will be a few months that you've last seen jongho.
he had been given an opportunity to stay at the castle as one of the prince's permanent companions and took it.
as for you, you moved back to what used to be the fifth district, your heart and soul still full of regard for the place no matter how far you run because every last memory of your parents are rooted here.
you didn't want and couldn't ask for anything in return for the loyalty to the royal family during their toughest time, only taking the coins they had kindly insisted on giving and proceeded to find somewhere to settle. make a life for yourself.
the first few months after declaration of adjustments were as tough for anyone else as it was for you. no matter how positive of an effect, changes are always difficult.
the nobles having to reclaim their homes again after migrating from fear of the outlaws; the party finally retreating, and the former having to piece everything back together with the thought in mind that everything won't be the same, but it will be fair.
the lower districts benefitting the most from the changes but time is their biggest adversary, because though good things are coming, they're not going to come in an instant. having to wait days, months, years, for the full glory to show can be defeating.
but nevertheless, it's coming, and tomorrow will be better than yesterday and so forth. a year later and you can already notice the difference, especially the sea that once gave up on the nation ready to ripple once more.
where you're currently at, you couldn't have done it without the help of those around you. hongjoong who gave you full rights to his hideout in the fifth district because he won't have the use for it anymore, having also been promoted to work alongside the prince.
and with the coins the royal family gave you, you put it into materials to hone the skill you're best at, now finally making a living off sewing and embroidery.
over the year, you've renovated the small shack to your liking with the knowledge you carried from your father, building something for yourself you can call home.
you can still recall that feeling; the first sinking realization of being alone and the taste of freedom. you no longer belonged to somebody or owed anything to anyone. no longer the poor kid just waiting for a better life.
you were your own person, and it feels amazing to be free, though you think it would be even better if he was there.
the thought of him crossing your mind every couple of days, wishing for nothing but only the best for him, hopeful that one day, he will return to fulfill the promise.
"those are some fine handkerchiefs you have there," a young man's voice stops you, spinning around to greet him with a smile.
"you crafted them yourself?" he asks, his tone a type of mischievious that you don't even read into.
"yes," you simply reply, always putting on your best behavior when there's a possible customer. "would you like to take a look at them for yourself?"
"i'd love to."
you untangle the basket from your arm and start going through the many fabrics of your creation.
"wow. not only is the creator herself beautiful, but so are the creations. i've never seen these kind of patterns before," he comments, a smirk on that is both amused and flirty, you can't help the way your cheeks immediately reddens.
the man only seems to find the sight even more endearing as a snicker bubbles out of him while you're still just standing there because you've never met someone so shameless before.
you're about to say something when an arm is thrown around your shoulders instead, turning to the source and your body an immediate mix of relieved, joy, and a skipping heartbeat.
"san..." you say by natural instinct, his unreadable expression meeting yours before moving to the young man in front.
"i'm sorry, i told her to not go wandering by herself but she wouldn't listen. let's go back, honey."
he snatches the basket out of your hold with his other hand and hauls you back the other way.
"i've only been gone for a year and you're already flirting with another man?" he accuses once you're able to flee from his clutch, his steps following right behind you as a pout overtakes his face.
"i wasn't flirting. i was trying to make money," you weakly defend, focus on the path back to your place that you believe the word 'cottage' would be more fitting for.
"you're way too beautiful and talented to be out there spending your days talking to young men."
"pfft," you blow, "and you're way too handsome and princely to be traveling everywhere and going to other kingdoms in the presence of other noble and royal daughters."
"and i'd still choose you, baby."
your heels dig the dirt flooring, snapping around from the pet name, a laughter at the verge of coming out.
san can see the amusement on your face, only smirking in response.
"what? i know you like being called that."
this time, you really do laugh and he follows right after, absolutely in love with everything about you. whether that's snarking back or laughing at him.
"whatever you say, prince," you poke more fun at him before dragging him by the wrist into your place.
"cute what you've done," he pass a comment while you put the basket away.
"yes. and i have just about everything i need."
it's just a little bigger than the hideout back at what used to be the third district, but it has the same convenience in that it's close to the river, cutting out trips to the bathhouse which saves a lot of time.
he nods, the dimpled smile never leaving his face.
"so... what brings you here?" you eventually ask, sitting next to him on your bed, the atmosphere shifting because despite enjoying the banter and mischief of it all, you miss him and haven't seen him in over a year.
"we just returned and arrived at the port this morning, so i wanted to come visit and see how you're doing. you know, to make sure no one was trying to sweep you off by your feet."
you playfully land a slap to his shoulder, snickering.
"you're ridiculous. all year long and my love life is so dry, but the one day someone acknowledges me, you just have to come back," you reply with sarcasm.
"i'm sorry to ruin that for you, but you can't take it back. you promised to marry me, and i will make sure every guy in the kingdom knows that."
you remember the first time meeting san, his state of grief making him almost an entirely different person. quiet, stoic, and always in distress, it's the most wonderful surprise that he's actually a child at heart.
able to let loose once in a while and just have fun.
"no need to. you won't have any competitions at all."
he chuckles quietly at that and closes any remaining distance between you two.
"you speak too lowly of yourself when you're the most beautiful girl i've ever seen."
you bat your eyelashes, shying away from his gaze. you just blush way too easy.
he chuckles at the sight and moves the subject along, "but i also came because i have good news. the king and prince mingi of dune have agreed to a treaty."
"really? t-that's great!" you stumble your wording, beyond happy for him because this was everything he wanted and planned for.
"yeah. it wasn't easy but the fact we have aurora did most of the convincing. dune was... interesting to say the least," he says, briefly recalling the month he spent at the kingdom.
"you did it, though" you smile. "it's only going to get better from now on."
"i hope so. but it seems the real challenge just began. this place is going to need a lot of work."
"that, it is. but for now, you just need to relax. rest a little and eat if you already haven't. i can make you some soup, would you like that?"
he nods.
"i would love that."
he loves how comfortale and easy it is with you. when the weight on his shoulders gets too heavy, he can always rely on you to make it better, even if just for a bit.
--
"so where do i sleep?" he asks, walking back in after washing himself by the river with the towel you gave him.
the day had been nothing short of a dream, eating and cleaning together and just small exchanges that multiplies the butterflies in your stomach.
you wish everyday was like this.
"the floor," you joke, the response making him scowl.
"i'm carrying the nation on my back and you're gonna make me sleep on the floor?" he throws the towel over his shoulder, his wet strands of hair swaying along with his movements.
"that bed looks big enough for the two of us." he points with his chin. "besides, we're gonna get married anyways."
you roll your eyes, snatching the towel from him as you go to ruffle his wet hair with it, his shout of protests underneath coming out muffled.
"fine." you land the fabric back around his neck, crawling into bed and scooting to the wall to make space.
he lays down and faces you, your gaze burning into each other's when he cranks out a smile.
"i'll be leaving in the morning and you might not see me again for a while after. don't you think you should give me something to remember you by?"
your brows furrow, your mind jumping to conclusion considering the position you guys are in and the tone in which he said it.
"i'm not gonna have sex with you," you spit, prompting the loudest laughter ever from him, followed by confusion from you.
"no, of course not. i was talking about another of your handkerchiefs."
"oh..." you murmur, feeling embarrassed.
"not until we get married at least. then, we can do it," he states with confidence, the thought of taking you to bed and inserting control another way is tempting, and he can't wait for the day.
you smack his chest lightly, as flustered as you are, you can't help the giggle that slips out.
a few seconds of silence pass by before he starts moving closer, his breath ghosting your skin and finger going to caress your cheek.
"i really do want to kiss you right now, though," he confess, "if that's okay with you."
you nod as much as your pillowed head allows you to.
"that's okay with me."
you close your eyes shut, trying to keep from flinching as you await his kiss, moments later only for his lips to crash against yours, his hand moving to your jaw and his body pressing forward as the kiss deepens.
you kiss him like it's the last kiss between you and him; like your life depends on it, the bed creaking under as he takes it upon himself to connect your bodies.
he pulls back much to your disappointment, both of your chests heaving and trying to catch your breath, his forehead bumped with yours and tip of his nose brushing your own.
"good enough," he speaks, his breath still not yet returned, "any more than this and i might not be able to contain myself."
you giggle, placing a soft peck on his cheek, flashing one last smile.
"goodnight, prince."
--
"have a safe trip, and take care of yourself," you bless, blue in your heart as san makes his way back to you after speaking to the coachman.
all the laughters and butterflies of yesterday won't be experienced again until who knows how long. he will be away after this, and you will miss him dearly.
you wish he could stay but you know he can't. he has something bigger and better to worry about.
he stops before you, melancholy in his eyes as well. he doesn't want to leave you but he has to. and as much as he wants to take you along, he can't let you bear the same responsibilities and weight.
he wants for you to be there, when he already made everything better.
"you take care of yourself, too." his hands naturally finding itself cupping your cheeks. "don't overwork yourself."
"i won't."
you place your own hands over his, desperate to salvage his touch for one last time.
"when can i expect to see you again?" you ask.
"i don't have a definite answer, but i'll be back. i promise."
you two share one last kiss before you watch him go off, blue still in your heart, but you know that someday, he'll come back, and it will be to stay.
age 23:
you're twenty-three years old when there's a knock at the door one suspicious morning.
living in the middle of nowhere, and even over the years, you're only able to count on one hand the range of selection there is when it comes to who it could be.
"hongjoong?" you squint, the man you haven't seen in forever looking slightly more buffed; mature, his hair styled and attire new and shiny.
"great seeing you again," he greets, still on horseback and glancing down at you.
"would you like to come inside? for some tea or a drink?" you ask, figuring it's only proper etiquette you do.
"i'm good. i only came to deliver something."
you continue squinting, one hand shielding your eyes from the early sun, reaching out when hongjoong hands you a letter and unfolding it.
"an invitation from the prince?" you read, incredulity as you shoot up to look at him.
"yes. the prince is finally accepting his accession to king and the coronation will be held a week from now. that is all i have for today. i have to head back soon."
you have so many more questions but hongjoong already turns his back before you can ask them, settling for staring at the ink in awe when the sound of his voice picks your head up again.
"i hope to see you there. the prince will be expecting you."
--
you leave for the capital the following day, packing only essentials and enough coins, taking along pearl, the white horse you had purchased a year back for traveling purposes.
there's been a lot changes in the four years since san took the reign, all of them for the better, of course.
some of the homes have been revamped, some new ones added, and everywhere you passed, there are greens and beauty in each sceneries.
the citizens look happier, kids a lot less miserable and even those in the orphanages are coming around to the new implements along with those in progress to solve overcrowding.
members of the outlaws have dwindled over time and quieted.
for the first time in hundreds of years, utopia is able to live up to its name in some form; a place of ideal perfection.
so you couldn't fret too much; be upset that in the three years that have passed, san's only visited you once. because if it wasn't for him, the nation wouldn't have been able to achieve the current state.
you travel to the capital with hope, expectation, and excitement at the fact you will be seeing him again; a strong belief that everything will feel just the same as last time.
you stop at inns to rest when the nights fall and start again at dawn, reaching the destination in five days total, the day before san's coronation.
there isn't any difference to the castle, not even a bit. a touch of nostalgia hitting you when thinking back to the event four years ago.
entrance is easy to get through, showing both of the guards who seems to recognize you, the letter.
tying your horse to the nearest tree, you proceed to the door with a pounding heart, banging on it twice before the castle door creaks from the other side, absolutely no idea who the person could be.
"y/n!"
your eyes widen at the sight, that nervousness replaced by delight.
"jongho!"
before he can get another word out, you're already in his arms, the warmth of your best friend something you missed greatly in the full year you haven't seen him.
you can him hear giggling in your hair, pulling away to that goofy smile of his as one settles on your lips as well.
"you came," he simply says.
"of course i did."
jongho takes you inside, your nosy eyes wandering the interior that's also the same as before but still dazzling with all its history, cracks in some of the wall, and antiques.
you greet the queen and the princess who only gets more beautiful by the years, them welcoming you with warm smiles and you can tell immediately the new changes other than their appearances.
they sound happier; no other burdens or weight pulling them down, carrying it around like a haunting that won't go away.
you walk around the courtyard with jongho after, finally a time and place to catch up. all those time of being with each other, you didn't think you could survive if he wasn't by your side, but to have gone four long years only seeing him once in a blue moon, you'd say that's some character development.
"how are things here for you?" you ask him, walking alongside shoulder to shoulder.
"amazing," he answers almost instantly, "it's crazy. i never thought i'd get the chance to work in the capital, but the royal family's castle? with the prince? it's everything i've ever wanted."
you can't stop smiling, his tone telling of just how much he means what he just said.
"that's great. i'm happy for you. you did always say you wanted all those training to go into something."
he nods.
"and you? how are things down there?"
"much better. it's coming together. the people's the most tame i've ever seen them."
jongho hums in acknowledgement.
"i heard you're going to become queen," he suddenly brings up, and you almost choke in return.
"and who the hell said that?"
"--i did."
the familiar voice that isn't jongho makes the both of you turn around, your stomach dropping and heart palpitating because you know all too well who it belongs to.
you can only stare breathless as he takes a step closer, your throat dry.
he's just as mesmerizing as you remember but like hongjoong, time have passed and he has gotten more bulky, manly, and handsome if that's even possible.
"i'm glad to see you can come," he mumbles, a charming smile on that render your knees weak.
jongho clears his throat, attempting to hide a smirk as he goes to excuse himself politely and walks back inside, leaving you stranded in the presence of san.
everything still feels the same with him.
"yeah. i got the letter," you reply, glancing around the empty area, "though it seems i might have gotten a tad excited."
he snickers, and oh... how you have missed the sound.
"you're the only one i gave a personal invitation to," he unveils.
"oh." your eyes swell, only to break the tension after. "then i guess i'm special."
"you are," he assures, closing the distance and taking one of your hand. "i have promised you that once utopia is stable enough, i will ask for your hand in marriage."
you watch as he goes to pull something out of the pocket of his suit, one of his knees pointed to the ground, his entire body falling with it.
"and now that i've finally reached that goal... y/n, will you marry me?"
it takes a moment for you to process everything, overwhelmed with joy and happiness before you can properly nod.
"yes. of course."
and he will marry you, after the rise to king and acceptance of his title as the ruler of utopia, keeping the promise just as he did to every others.
permanent taglist: @moonchele
a/n: not me talking shit abt wanting broken era to be over only to go & write a 19k oneshot. but i loved writing this & had a lot of fun bc it was v different from what i'd usually write
#i don't know shit abt politics#so go easy#ateez x reader#ateez fluff#ateez angst#choi san x reader#san x reader#ateez scenarios#ateez imagines
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DC Santa is a troll so when he knows he's going to die and he sends his powers to the young heroes he knows he's about to traumatize, he tweaks things just a little, he's got the time after all, he goes all over the world in a night, the comet is in slow motion to him, not that he'd move, and these little chaotic gremlins have been so good despite everything life has thrown at him and he really owes them quite a backlog of gifts
While Santa may go to apocalypse every year, he goes nowhere near Gotham
To Tim, Tim knows everyone's deepest desire with a look, this ability is especially effective in December. Tim becomes the master of picking out the best holiday and birthday presents
Cassie can speak and understand ALL the languages she comes across
People now automatically have some level of trust towards Greta, know that she's a nice person who would protect them to the best of her ability, had she stayed in the superhero community, she would have attained dick grayson levels of trust among the other capes
Kon has a sense of who's on the naughty list and who's on the nice list, makes it easier to steer away from creepers now who would take advantage of him since it's not like he has a grown up to help him figure that out
Bart is even faster and yet his metabolism is evened out a bit, he's less desperately hungry all the time, can get away with just snacks instead of eating an entire all you can eat buffet, though he's still capable of that, and he has even more of a sweet tooth than before
Slobo is capable of lifting even more than Lobo, the sort of strength and balance one would need to carry a sack filled with presents for the world, or the universe
Anita gets a knack for Christmas magic, the little illusions that bring a little extra joy to a person's life and when she and Tim collaborate they find they can put into motion butterfly effects, tiny actions that cause huge, joyous results, and Anita's gingerbread houses never rot
Cissie gets the anonymity, there are so many Santas but no one could ever tell you which one is real, in the future she never has to worry about someone connection her heroic past to her civilian present, except for her friends of course
I love this AU/hc so much, and how you included more than just the core four for it.
For Tim, I know he's absolutely using that power of his for no good. He uses it to make villains (and some Bats) cry when he mentions or even gets them their deepest desire. I am curious if the deepest desire is only for physical stuff or for the unattainable too (like I bet Dick would love to do a Flying Graysons routine with his parents one more time).
I love Cassie's cause she probably freaks the JL out when she starts speaking thr same dialect of an alien species no one has even heard of before.
Greta's is perfect. I hope she finds lots of use for it in her retirement. I would love a spin off of her just utilizing that power when she goes to college, gets a job, etc.
Kon's makes me want to cry. It's amazing for him, but the reasoning is so sad. I hope YJ is able to help him and that he's better able to take care of himself with this.
I like to imagine Anita's parents/kids looking up to her in amazement as her gingerbread house still stays standing after 5 months.
I'm glad Bart has more choice in his need to eat. Tim probably helps him by buying lots of food, but it's nice that Bart, in this AU, doesn't have to constantly be eating as much.
I don't know as much about Slobo (which is a damn right shame), but it seems DC did him dirty (something about him slowly dying and then sacrificing himself???). Anyways, I hope his strength helps him feel more reassured with himself and confident. I hope he can use it to uplift those he cares about.
Cissie's sounds great. There's tons of stories about the price of fame being a lack of privacy. With this, maybe she'll be able to have a normal life as well
#dc comics#dc universe#young justice#young just us#thank you for the ask!!!!#santa dc#tim drake#anita fite#cassie sandsmark#cissie king jones#greta hayes#secret dc#kon el#kon el superboy#kon el kent#conner kent#bart allen#slobo dc
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Staking My Claim Part 1
Hello! Because of my flu, I've been working on low stakes stuff to help with my foggy head. I promise this week to be back on to the WIPs I have going to be build up my backlog again.
This started off as a silly "let the boys be goofy" and turned into a "found family with ONE goofy moment in it". Sorry about that. I blame the cough medicine honestly.
***
Eddie and his friends were enjoying a rare night where they didn’t have to play at Cora’s Den in Indy when it happened.
Now, Cora’s Den wasn’t gay bar per se, but as it was one of the most inclusive places in Indy, the normies considered it one.
So when he came back from going to the bathroom he leaned into the center of their table so he could whisper. “Tell me that’s not Steve Harrington at the bar in a crop top and cutoffs.”
All three of his friends turned to the bar as one.
Gareth smacked his lips. “As much as I would love to, man, no can do.”
“And is he really flirting with that dude?” Eddie asked with a wince.
Jeff raised an eyebrow. “I’m seriously doubting that. Looks like Stevie could use a rescue.”
Eddie turned and looked over. Sure enough the guy that had been flirting with Steve had been replaced by a new guy. And one that didn’t look like he was getting the hint to fuck off.
“Go on,” Brian said. “You know you want to. He’s clearly got a thing for the guys and you might even get laid for the first time in months.”
Eddie nodded curtly and slapped the table. “Right.”
*
Steve was having a good time until this guy came along. He just wouldn’t take no for answer. He wasn’t looking to go home with anyone. His parents had just blown out of town again and Steve was looking for a way to blow off some steam. Relax after the last week of sheer exhaustion of dealing with them and their judgments. He usually went with Robin so that people would leave them alone. Only she had the late shift tonight and the early shift in the morning.
He was going to wait until the weekend when they could both go and have fun, but Robin insisted that he go, otherwise he’d be moping around Family Video all week. So he came out tonight, not really out to get drunk, or laid, just to have a good time.
This was not that.
Suddenly an unopened bottle of his favorite beer was being pressed into his hand as a warm arm wrapped around his waist.
“There you are, baby,” a soft voice cooed. “Sorry I’m late, work was a nightmare.”
Steve let himself relax into the man’s side. “I’m just glad you made it, Eds.”
Eddie grinned at him. “I swear old man Thacher is getting worse in his old age.”
Steve laughed. “I know, right? I went in for an oil change and he berated me for twenty minutes on why couldn’t I just do it myself.”
Eddie frowned. “Don’t you have a BMW that requires a special oil?”
Steve pursed his lips and nodded. “Yup!”
Eddie turned to look at the guy who was standing there with his mouth open. “Are you still here?”
The guy bristled. “I don’t know what you think you’re doing, but I was here first.”
“He’s my boyfriend,” Steve said, straightening up, but still remained plastered to Eddie’s side. “Eddie Munson. Lead singer and guitarist for Corroded Coffin. You know, the band that plays here every weekend?”
“Yup,” Eddie lied easily. “So where’s Birdie tonight? Working the late shift?”
“Ha!” the man snapped. “That’s not his friend’s name. His friend’s name is Robin! I knew you were a fake.”
Eddie blinked at him as if the man had grown three heads. “Robin Buckley. Robin is a bird. Bird plus Buckley, ergo Birdie. I have nicknames like that for all my friends. And any friend of Stevie’s is a friend of mine.”
Steve rubbed his nose along Eddie’s jaw affectionately. “And how did you know what her name was?” he asked, not even looking at the guy. “I don’t think I recall seeing you around before.”
The man’s face paled and he turned on his heel, storming off in a huff.
“Thanks for that,” he murmured into Eddie’s ear. “I’m usually pretty good at getting assholes to lay off, but he wouldn’t take no for answer.”
“Your inner mean girl couldn’t make him go away?” Eddie whistled. “That is persistent.”
Steve giggled. Then he blushed and looked down. That was when he remembered the drink in his hand. “So what’s with the unopened beer?”
“I didn’t want you to think I was another creep by bringing you an open bottle.”
Steve looked up at him and blinked a couple of times. “Wow, you really are my knight in leather armor tonight.”
Eddie took the bottle and popped it open with his bulky ring on his middle finger. “There you go.”
“That was so hot,” Steve said stupidly.
Eddie threw back his head and laughed. “Duly noted.”
*
Steve was invited back to their table and had an absolute blast.
He was coming back from the bar with a couple of drinks in his hands when someone bumped into him, almost making him spill the drinks.
“Hey, watch it!” he hissed.
Immediately Eddie was at his side in an instant.
“You okay?” he asked taking a couple of the drinks from him.
“Yeah,” Steve groused. “Just some asshole not watching where he was going. I didn’t even get a drop on my shoes.”
Eddie snickered. “Yeah, okay. You and your jock reflexes.”
Steve leaned over and whispered, “I’m also very flexible in bed.”
“As in top or bottom or are we talking positions?” Eddie asked, running his tongue over his bottom lip slowly.
“Both.”
Eddie threw back his head and laughed. “No need to go so hard, baby. I was already wanting to take you home with me tonight.”
“What about your friends?” Steve asked grinning back. “It sounded like you all share the apartment.”
“We have a signal for if we bring anyone back,” Eddie assured him. “Also we know to keep it down because the apartment walls are thin and not just inside the apartment.”
Steve’s mouth formed an O. “I got you.”
He knew there were pros and cons to living in an apartment. Having your neighbors that close were definitely a con.
“You still living at home?” Eddie asked as they made their way through the crowd.
Steve nodded. “Yeah. It’s not like my parents are ever there. Though it would just be my luck that they’d come home while I’m out the queerest bar in Indy.”
“Not a fan of queers?” he asked once they reached the table.
“They’re fans of Reagan,” Steve said with a grimace. “I’m pretty sure that automatically puts them on the opposing team.”
The entire table recoiled in sympathy.
“Fuck, that’s harsh!” Jeff said. “Thankfully my parents aren’t Reagan supporters, though they have raised many an eyebrow at Eddie here.”
Eddie face turned into a feral grin.
Brian shrugged. “My parents don’t care as long Eddie doesn’t shove it down their throats.”
Steve rolled his eyes. That old nugget. Walking down the street holding hands with someone of the same gender was shoving it down their throats as far as they were concerned.
Gareth looked at his friends wide eyed. “Um...sucks to be you guys I guess, but my parents adore Eddie, don’t mind him or I being gay and threatened to sue the school over the devil worshiping allegations about our D&D club. So...”
“Three cheers for the Hughes family!” Eddie said.
They all cheered and clanked their glasses together. They downed their drinks and roared with unrestrained joy.
Steve could feel a rush of blood around his ears. The room faded in and out and it sounded like Eddie and his friends were under water. He staggered off his stool and nearly stumbled to the floor.
Then the world went black.
***
Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6
Also I'm not sure if this post canon or no monster AU. I can't decide, but it's ambiguous either way.
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The Golden Rules
When he slipped up on the house rules they tried to be understanding. Who cares if every once in a while they heard a little breathy, feminine sigh come from the other side of James’ bed curtains? Or sometimes the shower was running for hours with sounds of slippery, awkward movements and muffled laughs floating out from under the door? Lily wasn’t some bird that James wanted to get off with, he was in love— and they knew that because he told them so many many times a day.
Sirius is having a big two days in my Jily universe! Written for @jilytoberfest day 18 Prompt :Neighbors (because bunkmates are like neighbors right?)
This one is rated T/M for one short depiction of sexual activity-nothing too crazy though.
Living side by side with a marauder was somewhat of a balancing act. Each boy had their own idiosyncrasies that needed to be attended to. Each one had a different sleep schedule, grooming habit, general idea of cleanliness…and that wasn’t even getting to the teenage boy of it all. In short, the boys had a deal: when in doubt, use a silencing charm or do it somewhere else.
This had become important to denote early on in third year when Sirius started to think that Adelaide Willow’s body looked too fit to handle. By fourth and fifth, things got even more complicated. With love notes piling up for all parties and snogging the new favorite activity, amendments needed to be added to ensure peace.
They had all been very diplomatic about it. Warn a bloke, don’t take ages, and always remember the golden rule: silencing charm or expect no mercy.
This would be all fine and good if it didn’t involve fuzzy brained, randy teens. Peter would constantly forget his silencing charm when he “felt sleepy” at 19:00 some nights, only to get berated before he did anything too crass to himself. Sirius intentionally or unintentionally forgot a few times with various shagging partners, some of which ended the date rather abruptly when books and quidditch goggles got thrown past the bed curtains. The only two that were pretty consistent were James and Remus—mostly due to the fact that Remus refused to date and James preferred other locations that didn’t involve the intimacy of his bedroom.
That wasn’t to say that either of them were angels: after Hogwarts, Sirius would still laugh about the time James was overheard saying a certain name into his pillow, presumably half asleep and unaware that his hand had wandered below the proverbial belt. But it was all good fun—they were sixteen, who could blame them? The system was working, a bit busted, but continuing the status quo nonetheless.
That is, until Lily entered the equation.
The boys knew they had a big storm coming with the onset of Lily and James’ relationship. The bloke had pined after her for years and they all just assumed he had a backlog of emotion he was going to need to dispel.
As promised, the two were inseparable. Conjoined at the hip, the hands, the chest, the lips—and that was just when they were in public. James was never a fan of bringing girls back to the dorms because he found it too intimate, but for Lily it was a completely different demon. He wanted her in his personal world, so much so that he would do anything to get her closer to every aspect of his life—his four poster bed being just one example.
The first night she ever stayed over was a telling moment for the Marauder’s residence. Already tucked in for the night, the equilibrium of the room was knocked off course by a frantic and mussed looking James bursting in the door, tie hanging from one shoulder and a crazed look in his eyes.
“I love you all, but get the fuck out. Evans agreed to come up here. This is not a drill.”
Sometimes mates had to make sacrifices—like sleeping in the common room.
The boys were happy for him—really, they were. It was a long time coming and it felt good to see their mate feel really good. So, when he slipped up on the house rules sometimes, they tried to be understanding. Who cares if every once in a while they heard a little breathy, feminine sigh come from the other side of James’ bed curtains? Or sometimes the shower was running for hours with sounds of slippery, awkward movements and muffled laughs floating out from under the door? Lily wasn’t some bird that James wanted to get off with, he was in love— and they knew that because he told them so many many times a day.
But even with love involved, everything had its limits.
When reflecting on it later, Sirius knew that it was purely karma that led him to the dorms that day. A sacrificial moment, brought on by one too many missteps with the status quo. In many ways he considered himself a martyr.
He should have seen the clues. For one, the room was locked and silenced— but that had never stopped him from entering a room before. It might have been the golden rule, but it was his room after all and he figured anything happening at lunch hour couldn’t possibly be too scarring.
Clue number two: James was on his knees between Lily’s legs.
They hadn’t closed the bed curtains. Lily’s head tilted back so she had barely a view of the door, making small languorous noises that reminded him of similar muffled sounds he and the lads had once heard before behind the safety of their own beds and the darkness of night.
With every slight movement of James’ head, her voice reacted. His hands grasped her thighs apart, head tilted upwards, watching his girlfriend’s expressions like a marker of approval.
Clearly, neither had heard the door open.
Sirius was there barely a second before Lily’s head rolled back to the top of her spine, eyes dilating in slow motion. Registering her audience, she let out a shrill cry.
He relocked the door behind him.
*******
James knew he had fucked up. Did he regret it? No— but he did know it wasn’t his best hour.
To be fair, he hadn’t intentionally set out to break the golden rules of the dorm. It was just like that with Lily. At one moment they could be listening to records and then the next she could have her hands down his trousers. It was as predictable as a game of chance…if 100% of the time the chances led to some form of snogging.
He trudged out onto the lawn beside the lake where Sirius was lying with Peter and Remus, face tilted towards the sky. As James’ shadow curled over him, a smile pulled at Sirius’ lips.
“Alright, Let’s get this over with– how long were you standing there?”
Sirius’ grin widened, still basking in the sun.
“Don’t know what you are referring to.”
“C’mon pads, I’m not in the mood–I know you just want to hear me say it.”
His eyes blinked open and James tried to remember a time where he looked more smug.
“Oh, are we talking about you licking out your girlfriend? I’d say I was there about a second longer than either of us would have liked.”
Peter made a choking noise into his parchment, Remus sighed and closed his book.
“Alright James. Too far—“
James’ hand jumped to his hair.
“I-I locked the door Moony, I swear it! He just came barging in!”
“Didn’t lock it well enough,” Sirius snorted and Remus lightly kicked his leg into his rib.
“Still James—it’s kind of been escalating…I feel like I know Lily a little bit too well nowadays.”
“Yeah mate, the other day I didn’t even know she was in the room. Scared the living shit out of me when she walked to the loo with only your jersey on.” Peter said, ears turning a bright pink.
James sat down and put his head in his hands.They weren’t that bad…
“Then there was the time where you two practically fell through the door tearing each other’s clothes off—“
“Oh–and remember the other time after NEWTS –”
Ok, so maybe they were.
“Fine fine,” James waved his hands in the air, “—so what do you want? Do I need to swear we won’t use the dorms again, because I don’t think I can make that promise.”
Sirius turned himself on his side, sporting a grin so dangerous looking James had the urge to run. They both knew that with Peter and Remus on his side he was the essence of pure power, a rarity to have such an upperhand.
“I just want to know if our sweet Lily got to finish—“
James' face flushed. Tosser.
“—But I don’t want to take your word for it,” he raised his voice,“Evans darling, would you say you were satisfied with Prongs’ performance today?”
James whipped his head around. Sirius must have seen her coming towards them earlier because she was more than halfway to the boys, stopped in her tracks. From around them, groups of students glanced over, knowing a good show when they saw one.
But if Lily was embarrassed, she didn’t show it. Her eyes sunk into slits.
“Why do you ask, Black? Do you need some lessons? I’ve heard your head is shite.”
#the marauders era#the marauders#james potter#jily#jilytober fest 2024#jilytober day 18#jily fanfiction#lily evans#marauders era#sirius black#yallofthemwitches
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broken memories pt. 4
3.2k words
-> sequel to kinda tempting
featuring -> mat barzal x female reader x matt rempe
warnings -> mentions of loss of pregnancy/miscarriage
genre -> angst/suggested smut
After you’d posted the official statement to the Rangers socials, a flood of messages began pouring in. Your phone was blowing up to the point you couldn’t keep track. Many of Matt’s teammates had come to find you at the practice facility to offer their condolences, none of them having a clue as Matt never shared the news. Wanting to wait until you felt ready to tell everyone.
Your boss offered for you to head home early, figuring there was a lot on your mind and wanting to give you the afternoon to yourself. Which you didn’t feel was needed, however she insisted on it when you tried to protest.
Upon returning to your apartment, you’d found several floral arrangements had been delivered for you. The front desk of your building had held them all until you’d gotten home, then brought them up for you and left your kitchen island looking like a floral shop.
Looking through the cards you’d felt so much love and gratitude for everyone that had sent them. Despite it having been a little over a month now, you still had days that were harder than others. So now that you’d been able to share the news, and let people in on things, it made the weight on your shoulders a bit less heavy.
As you made it to the last floral arrangement, you’d found a card that was not one you expected to see. It was from Mat. The message leaves you a bit confused as you put it back on its peg in the arrangement. It wasn’t to offer his condolences about the loss, it was rather him reaching out to see if you’d thought any further about the conversation you’d had the other night. Then proceeding to tell you that he loved you, and always would. You weren’t sure whether or not you should throw out the flowers or smash the vase on the floor. The last thing you’d wanted to deal with today was anything other than the fallout of your announcement. Knowing that Matt would soon be coming over and you didn’t want to bother him with the situation.
You opted to place some of the flowers around your apartment, then naturally you pulled out your computer to get some more work done. With the season gearing up you couldn’t afford to fall behind, so you were backlogging content to ensure you’d have plenty of things to post daily. By the time you’d finished editing a few Tik Toks and Instagram Reels, it had been almost three hours. Matt was now walking in the door, his hair still damp from practice as he smiled seeing all the flowers that still sat on the island.
“Wow, did you decide to quit your job and become a florist?”
You smirked at him as you put your laptop away, walking over to give him a hug and a kiss before you started on dinner.
“Yeah, there’s honestly this one player on the team I can’t stand, Rempe is his name. Not sure if you know him? So I decided to just quit and work with flowers.”
He laughed as he looked at each of the arrangements, glancing at the messages of condolences and support from so many people.
“How are you feeling? My phone has been blowing up, kind of shocked to see how many people were reaching out. And people who have gone through similar things you know?”
You nodded as you prepped a pan for some chicken, then searched the cupboard for all the necessary spices.
“It is nice to feel like we aren’t alone. I honestly was a bit overwhelmed by it all. But I was really touched by the love and support everyone is showing for us. And for all the flowers, like holy shit!”
Both of you laughed as Matt went back to the flowers, smelling them and inspecting the different ones he’d never seen before.
“Y/n, what’s this?”
You glanced back at him as you finished setting the chicken into the pan. Squinting a bit as he held up one of the cards, unable to see anything that was written on it. Shrugging your shoulders as you didn’t want to state the obvious, but you weren’t sure what to tell him.
“A note?”
“From Barzal? You can’t be serious?”
You dropped your fork on the counter as you quickly tried to protest, wishing you would’ve tossed the card in the trash but it had clearly slipped your mind.
“Matt, listen. Let me explain, because it’s not what you think.”
“Hope you had a chance to think over our conversation from the other night. It’s always been you, I love you so much. I always will. Are you fucking kidding? Why am I never going to be good enough for you? Here I thought I’d finally been chosen by you, and he’s right there in the background trying to steal you away again. I’m always going to be second to him aren’t I?”
You watched Matt as he paced the floor, soon slumping onto the couch as his head rested in his hands. His body held tight to itself as he shook his head. His mind raced as he tried to make sense of it all.
You hated hearing him speak so negatively about himself, especially when none of the things he was saying were true. You were in no way putting him second or choosing anyone over him, but you could see how the note made him feel that way. And no matter what you said or how hard you tried to explain, you knew he wouldn’t believe you right now. These feelings clearly still present for him despite the fact you two had begun rebuilding things.
“Matt, please. If you just let me explain, you’ll understand that is not what’s happening.”
Matt pushed away your touch, pacing the floor as he tried to decide whether or not it was worth opening up about this. Despite the two of you working on starting over, his insecurities about not being good enough would always remain.
“Look, I get it. The way things began with us, wasn’t normal or how it should have happened. And certainly you getting pregnant wasn’t planned. But my feelings for you have never wavered, and I wake up everyday knowing that it’s you. Not because of a baby, not because of anything other than I want to be with you. Despite everything, it’s only you y/n. And the fact that he is still in the background, trying to be with you, I can’t win!”
Matt grabbed the flowers from the vase Mat sent you, tossing them to the ground as he needed to channel his frustrations somehow.
“Yeah I’m jealous. Sure I’m insecure. Because I’m never first choice, I never have been okay? So I’m sorry that for once I thought I was good enough to be someone’s first choice. And if you don’t feel that way, then why did we bother starting over?”
You were speechless, tears in your eyes seeing how upset he was. Not knowing that he still felt like there was even a chance you would leave him for Barzal. To know he had always felt like the second choice, or that he wasn’t worthy of being with you, it broke your heart. And before you could respond, he was grabbing his things to head for the door.
“Matt, wait please!”
But he was gone without another word, leaving you to regret not having just simply thrown out the note from Mat. You headed back to the kitchen, tending to the food on the stove that was close to overcooking. Though now your appetite has come and gone, simply packing up the food before retreating to your bedroom for the night.
-
You weren’t sure how much time had passed, maybe an hour or two, but you were jolted awake by the sound of knocking at your door. Checking the time, you questioned who would be there at almost midnight. Surely it wasn’t Matt, he had a key.
Slowly making your way to the door, you were shocked to see Mat Barzal on the other side. Reluctant to open the door you hesitated, questioning whether this was a good idea. Especially after the fight you’d just had with Matt over the note, you didn’t want any more drama to stem from Barzal stopping by.
Though curiosity got the best of you, and you’d unlocked the door, slowly opening it to see Mat standing there with a relieved smile on his face.
“Hey, I wasn’t sure you’d come to the door. Can I come in?”
Nodding your head you moved to the side, letting him in as he scanned the tens of flower arrangements on your counter.
“Wow, my flowers must not have seemed as meaningful to you today huh?”
His sarcastic tone caught you off guard as he almost seemed annoyed, clearly he hadn’t seen your post today or else he’d understand.
“Yeah, sorry I lost a baby and now your flowers don’t mean as much as the ones sent with condolences Mat.”
He looked to you confused, then realizing you must have finally made a statement, immediately cursing himself for being such an ass and making it about him once again.
“I’m sorry, truly. That wasn’t right to say. Of course these flowers were more meaningful to you right now.”
His eyes scanned the arrangements before finding a bundle of flowers on the floor, his heart sinking as he realized they were the ones he’d picked out.
“But it seems like you didn’t like them regardless.”
A soft chuckle left his lips as he bent down to pick them up, tossing them in the garbage as you could feel your frustration building by the second. Still unsure why he’d come all the way to your apartment if it were just to cause issues.
“Why are you here Barzal? If it’s to be an asshole then leave. It’s not the day for this.”
He was a bit caught off guard by you calling him by his last name, something you only did when you were angry with him.
“You didn’t text or call, I wanted to see if you’d gotten the flowers and my message.”
“Oh I got it, and your flowers ruined everything. So thank you so much, I love them!”
You crossed your arms over your chest as you looked to him for anything further, but he was unsure what to say. Not expecting to come here and argue. In his mind he’d planned on you telling him you thought about everything and wanted him back. Because that’s how Mat’s brain worked, that he was number one always. Everyone always picked him, folded for him and gave in. But he could see that wasn’t the case with you anymore.
“Where is this coming from? Don’t tell me you’re actually picking him? Did our relationship mean nothing to you? I broke off my engagement for you y/n! It’s always been you for me, and this is how you treat me?”
“I didn’t ask you to do that! You did that all by yourself. And no, the cheating on me meant everything to me. It ruined me. It pushed me away and I’m sorry but whether I did the same thing back to you, I will never look at you the same. I’ll never choose you. I can’t.”
Mat’s mind was racing, he couldn’t fathom you not choosing him. To be turned down by the girl he thought he could always run back to, it was a deep cut to his ego.
“Because you two were going to have a baby? After a one night stand? You just throw everything we had away for Rempe? I don’t understand how you could pick him over me y/n!”
“Because I love him!”
The words hadn’t even registered in your mind before you spoke them, catching yourself off guard as much as you’d caught Mat in the same position.
“Oh really? You love him?”
Mat took a step closer to you, his eyes scanning your face to try and read your thoughts. Not thinking as he acted on his impulse, his hand moving to cup your cheek as he crashed his lips to yours. Your hands immediately came up in protest, pushing against his chest to get him away from you. Followed by your hand striking him across the cheek, letting him know you were serious.
“Yes, I love him. With my whole fucking heart. I am choosing him, and I will continue to choose him every single day from now on. Because he isn’t going to treat me like you did. He’s selfless, kind, loving, understanding. He doesn’t expect me to melt at his feet and fold for him like you do. He feels like the luckiest man every single day to have me by his side. Something you took for granted the day you chose to cheat on me. So yes, I love him. And it’s always going to be him. Now get the fuck out.”
Without another word Mat headed for the door, speechless as he took one last look at you before you’d shut and locked the door behind him. Retreating back to your bedroom, checking your phone for a text or call from Matt, but nothing. You could feel the tears welling in your eyes at the thought of losing him for good this time, after finally realizing how much he truly meant to you. Not bothering with it being almost one in the morning, you typed out a quick text before plugging your phone in.
I know you probably hate me, I’m sorry. But I promise, I will always choose you. I love you.
-
The sound of your apartment door unlocking startled you, but you’d quickly calmed down as you knew it could only be Matt. Your heart skipping a beat as you were relieved he’d come back, telling you that he wasn’t too mad to stay away. Soon enough his tall frame was in the doorway of your bedroom, his silhouette illuminated by the moonlight that was shining through your window. His chest was rising and falling quickly, likely due to the fact he’d sprinted upstairs from the parking garage.
“Did you mean it?”
His voice was soft as he slowly made his way over to you, seeing that your eyes were beginning to fill with tears. Your emotions getting the best of you as you were happy to know he’d come back, his words not registering in your brain.
“What?”
He sat on the bed next to you, taking your hand in his as his thumb slowly brushed over the skin.
“Your text, did you mean it?”
All you could do was nod your head, Matt inching closer to you as his hand made its way to your cheek. His touch sent chills down your spine as his lips now hovered over yours, teasing you ever so slightly as his eyes held contact with yours.
Before you could apologize again for earlier, his lips crash onto yours. His hand tangled into your hair as the other pulled you into his lap. The two of you fought one another for control as Matt moved so his back was resting against the headboard. A smirk on his lips as he could sense how eager you were for his touch, your text message still vivid in his mind. The idea that you’d chosen him, that you only wanted him, it excited him in the moment even more.
His hands held your hips as he grinded you down against him, not embarrassed about the growing erection that was beneath his sweatpants. A smile on your lips as you let out a soft giggle at the feeling, though you loved knowing he was turned on by you. His hands roaming your body before pulling your lips back to his. The kiss now more intense than before, his tongue slipping past your lip as he took control, but did his best to keep things soft.
This wasn’t about getting right to sex in his mind, it was about taking his time to savor the first fuck after you confessed your love for him. And he couldn’t wait to hear the words fall from your lips. He knew the moment you’d said the words to him, he would be like putty in your hands.
“Can I hear you say it? Please?”
He voice was breathy as he smile at you, his hands moving to play with the hem of your oversized tshirt that had now rode up on your thighs. Exposing your skin to him as your ass slightly peeked out from under the fabric, resting firmly in his lap against his cock that was painfully needing its escape from his sweats.
You smiled down at him, brushing his hair from his face as your fingers traced his features. Your thumb brushing over his bottom lip before stealing a kiss, your hands resting at the back of his neck as you looked down at him.
“I love you Matthew Rempe. So fucking much. Today, tomorrow, and the next day after that. It’s you, I choose you. And no one else.”
Without warning he quickly flipped you over, now hovering over you as he laughed at the small shriek you’d let out at his action. His hips grinding into you as his lips kissed from yours down to your neck, pulling up your shirt to kiss down your chest until he reached the string of your thong.
Looking up at you his smile faded, a more serious look on his face as he hooked his fingers under the string of your thongs. Slowly pulling in down your legs and tossing it to the side, his sweats soon followed suit before he’d found his place above you again.
Your hand slipping between the two of you to help guide his cock to your slit, the two of your letting out a soft moan as he’d slowly thrusted into you.
“Fuck, Matt.”
Gripping his biceps he’d waited for you to adjust to him, his thrusts slowly starting as he felt you ease up on your grip. Your legs instinctually wrapping around his waist to pull him closer, his arms now resting on either side of your head as his lips met yours, swallowing your moans as he’d begun to pick up his pace.
Fingers tangling in his hair as his lips moved to your neck, kissing and biting at your skin as he could feel your pussy clenching around him, letting him know you were slowly reaching your peak. But he didn’t want this to end so quickly, needing to take his time and be sure to love every inch of you. To show you how much he loved you and needed you. His thrusts ceased as he brushed your hair from your face, his thumb brushing over the skin of your cheek as he smiled down at you.
“You make me the happiest man in the world. And I promise to never make you regret choosing me. I love you so much.”
#matt rempe angst#matt rempe fic#matt rempe imagine#matt rempe smut#matt rempe fluff#matt rempe x reader#matt rempe blurb#matt rempe#mat barzal fluff#mat barzal angst#mat barzal fic#mat barzal blurb#mat barzal x reader#mat barzal fanfiction#mat barzal imagine#mat barzal#nhl imagine#nhl fics#hockey imagine#hockey fic#nhl fanfiction#nhl blurb
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OKay, not so great. Phones are down, and internet will be tomorrow, and of course I once again need to get hands on gas and groceries as well. Which means somehow getting in around 400 bucks, and I have been asking for help so often that I just want to scream, but I'm going to have to ask again regardless. If you're up for kicking in, helping, and donating, my thanks in advance, and here's a link for it: http://paypal.me/tormentedartifacts If you want to get something in return for helping out? There's http://tormentedartifacts.com where I sell most of the cool stuff that I make. I'm starting to get more on top of the backlog, so hopefully I can get some more orders in and have everything turned around before my surgery. We'll see.
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A Gift Repaid (Is But A Favor Owed)
(I started this a week after 2.3 went live. Clearly this sat in my WIPs before boredom resurrected it. Based on the 2.3 post-quest. Currently in the middle of a hurricane and the internet is out so I finally have no choice but to finish some of my WIPs.)
Angsty, because Lord knows I can’t separate poor Aventurine from his trauma, but let me know if you want a fluffy sequel.
Trailblazer!Gender neutral!Reader
(But I do use the name Stelle because I am a part of the AvenStelle agenda)
Stelle wants to repay Aventurine's gift, but doesn't have a single clue about how to do that. Maybe something just a little bit more will come of their clueless but sincere gesture.
Aventurine let out a well-earned sigh as he collapsed into bed. The weeks following his return to Pier Point had been nothing but a series of meetings, debriefs, more meetings, follow-up reports, and even more meetings. Leaving the normally free-wheeling gambler feeling restless and pent-up. Watching the drama unfold on the Radiant Feldspar had been his only form of entertainment. So naturally once the negotiations had settled and the Fool's prank had been dealt with, the Stoneheart had nothing to distract himself from the stack of paperwork taunting him from its perch on his desk.
Admittedly he had resorted to browsing one of his favorite online stores when he got the notification that the limited-edition model of the Astral Express was finally open for bidding. He won naturally, and it only took him a few seconds before he decided what to do with it.
Aventurine bundled up a few trinkets he had collected while on Penacony and had them packaged alongside the train model before shipping it off to the formerly-named Radiant Feldspar.
Stelle had been by far one of the most interesting and delightful characters he ever had the pleasure of meeting. Despite the power they wielded simply by hosting a Stellaron and being a member of the Astral Express Crew, they were almost chronically lawless and free-spirited. Although, squirrel-brained might be the most accurate descriptor. They could be in the middle of a punch line to some terrible dad joke one moment, and the next they are sprinting off because something shiny was poking out of a trashcan and they just had to take it with them. Every expensive gift he sent their way was met with sincere gratitude. But Stelle's wide-eyed, embarrassed blush didn't hold a candle to the expression of pure joy that lit up their entire face whenever they dug out something they deemed worthwhile out of a pile of abandoned boxes or an alley that looked like it could launch a thousand microbiology studies. Stelle was just so genuine and thoroughly lacking in any kind of malicious intent or agenda that it was impossible to not be endeared to them.
As far as the Stoneheart was concerned, the Astral Express' resident raccoon in human skin could have whatever their heart desired.
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Honestly, Aventurine forgot about the gift after a week. Work wasn't any less busy, and it was becoming clearer by the day that part of his punishment for damaging his cornerstone and putting two others in jeopardy was to be grounded on Pier Point until Diamond was forced to send him somewhere else.
Five weeks later, the gambler was willing to take a second shot at that Emanator if it meant he would be able to escape the never-ending mountain of paperwork. One way or the other.
Which is why he decided to spend an afternoon sifting through his backlog of physical mail instead of addressing the two-foot stack of papers that one of Obsidian's lackeys had dropped on his desk five minutes before his lunch break or the 1000+ emails sitting in his inbox.
The majority was junk. He was appalled that most of it got past his subordinates desk, and he happily watched the papers be chewed to pieces in the shredder. A few particularly inventive scam attempts even managed to get a chuckle out of him before they met their fate.
The slightly more personal letters were mildly amusing. Threats from past "friends", professions of love from strangers who had caught a glimpse of him at this place or the other.
He would definitely need to have HR reevaluate the person who handled his mail.
Aventurine saved the packages for last, mainly because he knew those had been thoroughly inspected before they were even allowed in the building. One attempted bombing incident and now all of his shopping orders took a minimum of 72 hours before he was allowed to pick them up. But it wasn't until he had actually started to examine the boxes that he noticed something odd.
One of the packages wasn't so much a "package" as it was something vaguely spherical wrapped in newspaper. A shipping label that barely met postal requirements was the only thing holding it together, and the smell of burnt metal radiated from it. The sender's name had been smudged, which only fueled the gambler's curiosity.
Mostly confident whatever was in the package wouldn't kill him, Aventurine tore away the wrapping paper.
"What in the name of the Preservation-"
Aventurine hissed. His fingers had struck metal, nearly slicing his finger open on a particularly jagged corner. The rusted bronze burned in the low lighting Aventurine had illuminating his office, offset by the shiny aluminum that had been soldered to it. Aventurine continued to unwrap the package and it was only when the last of the newspaper had fallen to the floor that he was able to make out what it was.
Several pieces of scrap had been melded together in a caricature of a star. Different types of metal and alloys gleaned in the light of his office, and despite the patches of rust and wear on it, a lot of effort had clearly been put into it.
Aventurine had no clue what to make of it. It wasn't some high-end art piece if the shipping was anything to go by, and wasn't anything close to gifts people had attempted to bribe him with before. He reached down to pick through the wrapping and take a second look at the shipping label and a folded piece of paper fell out. It looked like standard cardstock, but Aventurine could see his name scratched on the top.
The gambler's intrigue was practically suffocating him at this point as he snatched the paper up and folded back the crease.
Hey Aventurine, hope you're doing alright. I've been stabbed before. It's not a fun experience once the adrenaline wears off and you can't get your legs to work properly. Make sure you wait at least a few days before trying to go out and pick a fight, or you'll wake up with very disappointed people hovering over you.
Sorry I didn't respond to your gift sooner. I would say social anxiety is bitch, but March has been nagging me to stop masking my vulnerability with humor.
Truthfully, I didn't know how to thank you. Excusing that little scuffle at the theme park (No hard feelings there. A lot of my friends have tried to maim me before) you've been great company and I wanted to give you something in return for all of the presents you’ve given me. It took me a while to decide on what exactly that was. I've watched a few of your poker games. You can make more credits in a single evening than I've ever had in my entire life. It wasn't until Dan Heng commented on all of the "junk" in my room that I had the idea of making something.
March 7th says I'm a hoarder. I prefer the term "low-budget collector". The metal you're holding was scavenged from a massive junkyard that most of Belobog's decommissioned robots end up in, though some of it came from abandoned cycranes I found near the Alchemy Commission. You wouldn't believe the types of odds and ends that get thrown in their dumpsters.
I had to ask for Himeko's help to actually weld the metal though. I think I did a pretty decent job for my first time, and aside from a few burns I made it through the experience unscathed. Word of advice: never touch the tip of a welding torch. Even after it's been off for ten minutes.
I really did like hanging out with you, Aventurine. Not a lot of people are willing to put up with my hyperactive raccoon brain for long, and it was nice to meet someone else who enjoys causing general mayhem. There should be another present in here if I get Pom-Pom to approve it.
Anyway, I hope you at least like this gift. If you don't, feel free to toss it.
May your journey lead you starward
-The Trailblazing Raccoon
Stelle
P.S. If you were serious about that round of cards, the Express will be staying at the Luofu for the next few months before we go out of range of the HoloNet for a while. I know a place with great food and mostly empty tables if you feel like stopping by.
Stelle.
The letter’s words blurred from how hard his hand was shaking.
Aventurine blinked furiously. A single tear escaped and smeared the postscript. He set the ornament gently on his desk before looking through the newspaper for a second envelope.
Instead of another folded note, there was a smaller envelope crookedly taped to what had been the inside of the newspaper.
The Astral Express welcomes all who wish to move beyond their past and journey along the silver rails, no matter their intent or agenda. Ms. Topaz has already been granted an Express Pass, so it would be inconsiderate to not offer you one as well when a Trailblazer has vouched for you. The Pass enclosed will allow you to board the Astral Express whenever you wish, barring emergency circumstances or a crisis state.
- The Conductor of the Astral Express, Pom-Pom
A golden ticket was nestled in the folded page. The rainbow sheen on its glossy gold surface was a perfect replica of the reflection of the stars outside Aventurine’s office window.
Those same stars were the sole light in Aventurine’s penthouse apartment later that night as he drowned his memories and anxieties in a bottle of Penacony’s finest. His alcohol-addled brain scheming away as he clutched that golden ticket in a death grip.
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A few days later…
“Hey Stelle!”
The Trailblazer in question looked up from their game to see March leaning into their room.
“You’ve got a package. Well, a few packages. And a letter.”
Stelle raised an eyebrow as March dropped six nicely-wrapped boxes and a letter on their bed.
“Are you sure you haven’t gone over your budget this month?” March asked as Stelle reached for the letter.
“I haven’t ordered anything,” Stelle mumbled, distracted by the ostentatious gold calligraphy decorating the front. The list of people she knew who would send them such a thing was short, and with the packages…
Stelle ripped open the envelope and leaned back, away from March’s prying gaze.
Dear Stelle,
It would be my honor to accept your invitation. The gifts I’ve sent are a small measure of my gratitude for such a thoughtful present, and I hope you won’t object to similar gestures in the future. I’ve never had the chance to visit the Luofu, but I managed to free a few days next week for me to spend at my leisure. You have my number, so if you’re looking for a little risky fun, give me a call.
Your close friend, Aventurine <3
#honkai star rail#aventurine x trailblazer#aventurine x stelle#aventurine x reader#hsr aventurine#aventurine
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