#and I thought last week’s episode fucked me up
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auguryofjellyfish · 18 hours ago
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another tetro friday tomorrow!!! this week flew by so fast. i have some thoughts and hopes.
for Ken, in order of importance:
I wasn't specific before, so that's on me...but I want him to show up AND talk. at least a couple of sentences but preferably more.
please, for the love of god, let him talk to someone ��� anyone!
I want him to blow up. he needs it, what he let out during the trial wasn't enough. it's better to just get it out now than to let all the despair and anger accumulate further. moreover, it would be amazing to see. could you imagine Ken having a sprite change a la crashout Yanagi?
speaking of blowing up....there's no way they didn't clean the bodies and the bloody crime scenes. Hayashi wouldn't leave them be, Wada definitely wouldn't let Tsuno be. even if it wasn't shown this time, which does make me anxious... but no. i do think they cleaned everything up.
but on the off chance that they didn't...Ken should just go to the chem lab, cook something up and blow it all to hell cause, what the fuck.
that's about it! last week's episodes were so amazing they made me feel genuine euphoria LMAOO so...as long as Wada is relatively well, Hiroaki is being himself, and Ken is, uhhh, alive, then I'm totally good 👍
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massy2ly · 2 days ago
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Fadel's ex stirring the pot and sparking theories again… Sorry, very, very sorry but… Ugh.
I just really don’t want it to be true that Lily offed this guy. But, damn, there are too many clues pointing that way, and it’s starting to bore me. I’d honestly rather he turned out to be the hitman she hired ages ago, or he just found out the truth and bounced.
Why? Because we’re down to the last three episodes, and Fadel is finally getting his heart together. Remember how wrecked he looked in that bar when he thought about the ex? If it turns out the ex is dead, it just reopens a wound he’s finally closing. From a storytelling point of view, it doesn’t add up. A guy who’s finally ready to move on, learning his ex got killed? Especially with only three episodes left? Nah, that’s a lot of unnecessary pain. Fadel, no matter how head over heels for Style he is, would have to deal with the grief of losing an innocent man he loved, all because of his own mess. It doesn't fit, especially when Fadel and Style are finally in a stable place and just dealing with the usual hitmen problems.
It’s bad enough Fadel’s about to find out Lily’s behind his parents’ deaths. If they tack on the ex’s tragic end, I’ll just sigh honestly. I don’t think it’s needed for the drama, not when Fadel’s finally in a good spot with his love life.
*Also, i’m sorry but you dated for two years and your brother knew nothing about it? But keen and Lily did? But you dated for two years and he never had suspicions about your job, when Style figured it out in a couple days? But Lily let you date this guy for two fucking years yet she is going after Style who you’ve known only for a few weeks? What is even going on? I’m a little tired y’all mmm*
That said, I can get behind the theories about the ex being a traitor meant to break Fadel’s heart. Wouldn’t be shocked if Lily’s played her usual mind games. But even then, it doesn’t totally make sense. First off, we don’t even know when the guy disappeared. If it was two years ago, then yeah, Lily and Keen probably had a hand in his death, which I’m not exactly stoked about. Second, it’s a bit of a stretch. Why go after Fadel and not Bison? Why target Fadel, when he’s always been loyal and crushed it in his missions? Bison’s the one who’s more unpredictable—she’d want to mess with him emotionally.
I don’t know. But I stand by what I said in one of my posts: I’d rather the truth be simple, like Fadel laid it out in episode 9. It’d be way better if the guy just found out what Fadel does for a living and walked away. There’s already enough chaos coming Fadel and Bison’s way. I just don’t see the point in ripping open a wound he’s finally healing.
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dazais-guardian-angel · 1 year ago
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this torture we're going through with the anime must be divine karma for slandering Bones all this time...... they said "oh, you don't like how we adapt things? you say the manga does it better?? okay then, well now there is no more manga. it's Bones or bust, bitches."
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eschynite · 5 months ago
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Maybe I'm projecting and being hopeful but I mentioned to M that I don't even get to shit by myself in peace lmao and I feel like something clicked for him. Bc I was like hey, at least you get private bathroom breaks at work (noncombative). And since then he's been a lot more acquiescent when I ask if I can nap and stuff
#he's never rly said no he just used to be like 'well whaf if i want to nap' like in the early parenting days#which evolved into 'yeah i guess'-type responses#lately he's more like 'yeah!' like his tone is less. whatever it was before#same with any requests i make in general like if he'll put e down for bed and stuff#idk my weird episode epiphany thing i went through last week has me feeling much less patient and self-questioning#it's just a fact that constantly asking myself if i'm being considerate enough of others has done nothing for me#like it hasn't even improved my relationships.. i don't really have any lol#like i'm done biting my tongue bc idk if i've properly considered their perspective.. i end up blowing up at minor things as a result anyway#like it makes me a worse partner fr#i also really feel like i've been putting daggers thru my own spirit by doing this for so long#like i need to stop troubleshooting my existence like 'what if i conform this way' 'what if i conform that way'#here's what if: you will be profoundly unhappy and no one who you love will truly know you#this is such a tangent off what i started talking about but basically i'm done reflexively wondering#every time i feel wronged disrespected etc. if actually i'm the one in the wrong. it really is reflexive#the way m's mom responded to me setting a boundary was a wake up call like apparently she just read into what i was saying too much#so hypothetically it wasn't the boundary she was angry about but how she thought i set it#but like i don't have any time for you if my extremely sincere and straightforward communication isn't good enough for you#like i'm not going to be understanding of your inability to take me at face value we didn't both fuck up. You did#and that's how i'm going to act. like You fucked up. yk
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rpfofficial · 1 year ago
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character wrapped 2023 💥
tagged by @davidtennantpussytulpa ^-^ i didn't know how many to do so i copied tara and did top 10. i know the severance guys are Four Of Them but i can't separate them theyre all equally important to me
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will graham (hannibal), em haywood (nope), aziraphale (good omens), mark & dylan & helly & irving (severance), hawkeye pierce (mash), martha jones (doctor who), ivan karamazov (the brothers karamazov), kim kitsuragi (disco elysium), stewy hosseini (succession), ruescott melshi (andor/rogue one)
i will tag... @fagician @britomart @libraryfag @roadwhores @majorbaby @globuspolski @hadleyfraserfaggot @tenderscience if u want to ^-^
#and now i will explain them all in detail#cos i started watching hannibal back in like. january or february and will immediately set up camp in my head and started to settle there#*I* pay rent to *HIM*. he lives there permanently. sweating and monologuing constantly#em was not only the character of 2022 but also of 2023 and of 2024 and the rest of the decade and all decades to come#she had such an impact on me keke palmer's performance will live with me forever and i love nope so fucking much#i almost didnt include her because nope was more of a last year obsession. but she lives on#aziraphale.........no comment#severance.......i love them all so much and at first i wanted just irving and then just helly and then i realise i cried over mark this week#and then i realised i couldnt possibly leave out dylan when hes probably my favourite character. so then i settled for all of them#hawkeye is my fucking wife. enough said#martha... well i knew i had to have a doctor who character. i thought maybe the doctor but then i thought their companions mean more to me#sometimes at least. i did have a fourteen icon for a while but then i was like but Donna..... and then i thought. well#these past few months at least martha jones has been eating away at my heart. i go batshit insane when i think about her#her impact. her grace. her power. so she had to go on the list.it was a toss up between her and donna for sure though#then i figured i had to include a karamazov since reading that book took up half of my year. and ivan was my favourite of the 3. so <3#kim goes without saying. literally nothing to be said hes the character Of All Time. to me#stewy also goes without saying ive had so many Stewy Save Me moments since the beginning of season 4 all the way to the end of the year#i miss him every day. he is the moment. i wish there was more of him all the time#and the last one is a bit of a wildcard cos all my insanity abt melshi has been on my andor sideblog.#but rest assured ive been thoroughly Not Normal about him. he literally side appears in 4 episodes and has 11 total minutes onscreen#but i love him. so much. and hes occupied most of my thoughts since september. once again his impact his power his grace. his homosexuality#enough said. that's all. thanks for reading. this was a great year for autism and madness#tag game#🍪
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astranauticus · 2 years ago
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A thrilling and horrific tale of 5 strangers caught up in a mysterious supernatural conspiracy, will they uncover the secrets of the peculiar artefact bestowed upon them or will they fall to what lurks in the shadows? Find out in Curse of the Amulet, coming to a theatre (heh) near you this Halloween season!
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moe-broey · 2 years ago
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I'm def losing the plot now but like. Picked up PMD2 bc the suggestion of remakes actually deeply infuriated me and I was sooooo fuckibg mad about it until I was like. Oh. I can just. Play PMD2. Like. I can Do That. And I think what I realized picking it up again is like. PMD forces you to take things slowly. It makes you sit with characters. With their feelings. With your own feelings. It reminds you again and again that even the littlest most seemingly mundane moments are so so sooo important. Each moment becomes a cherished memory. Of someone you loved dearly. Someone who loved you. Someone you lost. You knew you would be lost. You did it anyway. You were set on it before, with someone you loved, who loved you, and a mutual understanding you have nothing to lose. Let this fallen husk of a world be undone, unmade. For a tomorrow that you'll never see. For a world you'll never be a part of. You don't know that, now, though. Now that you have everything to lose. Now that someone else is losing you. You chose it again. For a better tomorrow, and now, for a world that welcomed you in with warmth and life. For someone you loved. Who loved you so, so much. For a whole world that loved you, that you loved too.
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starbitzi · 1 year ago
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Oh ok yeah it checks out that on the one day I felt the most normal that I can feel myself approaching another panic attack
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achingroses · 3 months ago
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vent post lol
#eating disorder#ed#eating disorder tw#huh so it’s been a while but this has been eating me up (no pun intented) for like a week#so basically i’ve had a lot and i mean A LOT of stomach issues this past 6 months or so#between stress and problems and fucking salmonella alongside other illnesses#i’ve puked a lot#and i mean a lot#so of course that has taken a toll on my body#both physically and mentally#about a month and a half ago i went to a gastroenterologist after one of the worst puking episodes i’ve ever had#and just last week i was puking my guts out bc pms and my period#hell i almost missed my graduation bc my stomach was killing me that day out of fear and stress#i almost skipped on a trip because my stomach was killing me out of stress#so yeah pretty much that#and so after the episode/going to the gastroenterologist that was kinda my wake up call#so i’ve been trying my hardest to lead a healthier lifestyle#working out eating well sleeping well etc etc#emphasis on trying tho bc old habits die hard#and last week a lady i barely remembered said to my face first thing oh my god you look so much skinnier!!!!! you look so good!!!!!#god i wanted to die on the spot#cause like i’ve been so ill and my disordered thoughts just fucking spiraled out of control#and i hate hate hate that i haven’t been able to shake that off#i triggered me a lot and i’m so scared#i swear i’ve been trying i swear with my life but i can’t get her fucking voice out of my head and the satisfaction i felt when she said it#and idk i feel so fucking weird and odd and i’ve been looking at my body the whole week#bodychecking and doing stupid stuff#idk i just needed to vent lol#it’s so so so weird#please i just want to have a healthy relationship with my body and food and working out
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inanimationinsanitation · 6 months ago
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i have minorly spoiled (on my own accord), and genuinely considering just not watching the episode until the next one gets released. my stomach cannot deal with another cliffhanger i swear to god
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phagodyke · 8 months ago
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friends are making plans to go stay with each other but it's the weekend I'm going to see my favourite band. the universe fucking hates me
#I CANNOT have a third rsd episode in the space of a month i will kill myself. or at least do near irreperable damage#wish i was joking. i feel like im going to throw up even just thinking about it#well. well i can skip the concert i guess. i saw them last year anyway theyre just doing a second europe tour of the same album#and theyll probably release another album in a few years and i can see them again then#ahhh. ah okay okay i cant think about this right now ill decide at the weekend its not for a few weeks anyway#ahhhhhh but maybe theyre doing this bc they dont want me there idr if they know abt it already and if they wanted me there they would#plan it with me from the start instead of telling me once theyve already made the plan oh i cant do this right now i will Spiral#im going to take a cold shower 👍#to clear my head i was just starting to feel better @ my brain like that dont fucking ruin this for us andy samberg corgi gif#its fine i dont need to panic. im just frazzled from work i lost the ability to focus after like 3pm but they kept sending me emails with#stuff they want me to do before the end of the week and i was having stupid levels of task paralysis trying to think about it#bc i dont have time to fit everything into my schedule and its multiple projects so much thought. and my meds dont help anymore by then#AND ppl kept coming and finding me and giving me samples and verbal instructions for things and i couldnt write down bc i was busy#so ive probably forgotten smth important its fine its fine its just work#and tomorrow morning my meds will smooth everything out i can organise it then. but just made me feel so mentally congested#and ive had no signal again so couldnt even open tumblr to complain abt it#cold shower and then im gonna make stir fry so i have leftovers for lunch tmr to fuel me for the gym. and ill get my gym stuff ready#and i need to get my shit together bc im calling a friend tonight and i am NOT going to fall apart in front of them 👍#its all good its okay ill make everything work out#okay. showertime#.diaries
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celestiamour · 26 days ago
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Accept my Hyun-ju request and my life is yours 😩🛐 (/lh you totally don't have to accept it if you don't want to <33)
BUT. The part where Hyun-ju is about to leave to fight the masked guards. Throughout the games, fem!reader developed a crush on Hyun-ju and before she left to fight, reader decides to go for it and give her a goodbye/good luck kiss 🤭
I am SO obsessed with this queen omg
ft. cho hyun-ju x f! reader — squid game
╰₊✧ giving her a goodbye kiss before she leaves during the revolt┊0.8k words
setting: season 2, episode 7 contains: , angsty & open-ended, season 2 spoilers, canon-typical gun violence! love confessions, reader is sapphic obviously, mentioned homophobia/transphobic in conservative korea
➤ author's note: i’m so glad to see so many requests for this queen, i’m also obsessed
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“goddamn it, where the fuck is dae-ho?!” you could barely even hear yourself over the sounds of shots being fired on both sides, hiding behind the pink walls which were steadily being painted red with the blood of your companions. 
the younger marine had left at some point to gather more magazines from the pockets of the deceased guards back at the barracks, but he was currently nowhere to be seen and the situation was becoming more dire by the second. although you had been conservative with your bullets to focus on accurate hits that would kill them on the spot, there were only a handful left at the moment and some of the other men were completely out. 
over all the ruckus, you could hear hyun-ju yelling into the walkie-talkie trying to get a hold of him, but he was nowhere to be seen or heard so she roughly shoved it into her tracksuit pocket and began to shout, “something must have happened! i’ll go down and check!”
“wait, let me come with you! it’s too dangerous to go alone!” you tried to get up from your position but was stopped when an oncoming bullet managed to graze your face, making you shriek in surprise as a shaky hand lightly brushed at the wound and found your fingers now smeared with blood. 
“it’s even more dangerous for you to move from your spot! i’ll be okay, i promise!”
her determination was awe-inspiring, yet your heart sank at the realization this might be your last time seeing her face. your affections toward her were unexpected even though you already knew you loved differently than most people did, something you both bonded over when being a part of the lgbtq+ community was still a taboo topic socially, but you found her to be beautiful inside and out with her caring personality and resilience in times of danger even though you were too scared of ruining your special friendship to admit it. you had no idea it was possible to become so attached to another in the span of less than a week, being so surprised at the realization you stayed up for hours when others were asleep to take it in. the only other person who knew about your feelings for her was young-mi, and she was…
suddenly hyun-ju was next to you wiping away the sole tear about to drip down the corner of your eye, holding on to you with a worried look on her face, “are you okay? i thought you went into shock for a second.”
god, you didn’t even notice with the battle going on around you sounding almost muffled with the two of you feeling like the only souls for miles around. everyone here insisted you should stay behind on account of being a woman even though you believed you had proven yourself to be tougher than most throughout the games, but she had faith that you could fight just as fiercely as a man and defended you each time they said you should turn back. (as annoying as it was, you don’t blame them since they were only looking out for you.)
you stared back at her for a second, blinking away thoughts of the past to focus on the present, the knowledge of this possibly being your last interaction with her once again coming to the forefront of your mind. taking in a deep breath, you decided “fuck it” with closed eyes and pulled her towards you for your first and possibly last kiss.
her eyes remained wide open in shock, trying to process the sudden action. it lasted for a few seconds but felt like an entire minute, feeling your soft lips against hers as she reciprocated the kiss and feeling her heart jump for joy. the earth seemed to stop spinning for those few moments until a voice called out to interrupt. “hey lovebirds! we’re kind of in the middle of something here!”
you finally parted with her, gazing deeply into her eyes and noting her blown-out pupils. “come back safe, and when we get out of here, we’re going to pay for your surgeries and move to thailand together, and i…” you closed your eyes again, taking a deep breath to muster up the bravery to utter the words you might never be able to say again, “i love you.”
now it was her turn to stare at you. you loved her? loved her as she is? she can’t remember the last time she heard those words after getting essentially disowned by her family. she always knew, deep down, she shared the same feelings for you, but was too scared she would end up alone again as she has been for so long so chose to push them down out of fear of rejection. yet when you’re by her side like this in the face of certain death, she feels courage. “i love you too. we’re going to get out of this together,” her confident voice made it sound like she was an oracle who already foretold your happiness in the future, “but first, you guys are going to have to cover for me.”
“don’t worry, i got your back!”
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sweatervest-obsessed · 4 months ago
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Last, Last Time
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader (she/her pronouns)
WC: ~7.3k
TW: Angst, guns, violence, mentions of domestic violence, blood, swearing, depression, kidnapping, manipulation, self-deprecating thoughts, heartbreak, arguing, the grieving process, drinking, screaming, crying, sobbing, throwing up, being under pressure, and anything else that comes with a criminal minds episode.
a/n: based on S15 E6 - first date. I love u aubrey plaza <3. Also inspired by the song Last, Last Time by Boys Go To Jupitar. writing this was a little bit of a catharsis since it's one of the first things I've been able to write. I'm sorry I've been so m.i.a., i just moved to a new country and that has been a crazy experience. But to cope with that, enjoy some gut-wrenching angst!
Alternate Ending! Spencer Masterlist
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“Spencer I won’t—I can’t keep doing this. I’m sick of arguing in circles.” 
“Y/n…”
“I-I feel like you take me for fucking granted Spencer. All I do is work and then come home and wait for you to actually be able to, I don’t know, sleep in the same bed as me for more than four hours.”
The look in his eyes almost took you out but your heart had already been broken long, long before this argument. If anything, you were starting to feel this sense of freedom as you broke his heart. 
“Please. Y/n. Just–I don’t—Just give me a few days to convince Hotch to let me have some time off and we can work on this please.” 
“Wait for the potential of us?” 
Spencer’s jaw loosened. You couldn’t read beyond the initial layer of pain and confusion, which made your chest ache since not too long ago you could have been able to find everything you needed in his expression.
“God Spencer this can’t be fucking news to you. We’ve been drifting apart for months now.” 
“I know, I know. You have been so patient with me and I’ve just been….there was that whole thing with Cat and then….I-I was trying so hard y/n…”
“No, first there was that whole thing with Maeve.”
“That’s not fair—”
“Oh that’s not fair? Really? You’re going to tell me the entire Maeve thing isn’t fair to you?”
“I’m sorry.”
You sighed and closed your eyes. “I’m not saying you weren’t trying but come one Spencer. There’s no need to deny this shit anymore. I hate it when you lie to me about these kinds of things.” 
Spencer’s hand came up to his face and it dragged down, aging him significantly with the fatigue written all over his face. 
“So you’re just going to pack up everything, break my heart, and leave? Were you even going to say goodbye, or was I going to come home to an empty home. A note or....” 
“I-I don’t know Spencer. I just don’t…” 
The tears were starting to creep in, and you had to place the box down before you lost it.
“This isn’t easy for me either…” Your chest heaved. 
The both of you stood in silence, tension simmering surrounding the both of you like heat on a summer’s eve. Neither of you could really look at one another, but it felt wrong to look at anything else. Something was missing but you couldn’t say it outloud. You knew you would always love Spencer Reid but this time it was not enough. 
“I’m tired of arguing Spencer.” 
Your eyes met his. You felt Spencer’s arms around you before you could even feel the tears hit your cheeks. Your arms immediately went to his neck, so familiar. No longer home. 
Spencer’s voice muttered into your ear. “Don’t cry Jolie. It’ll be okay..” 
About three years ago, Spencer had decided that he didn’t like that you had nicknames for him, and he had none for you. He spent weeks workshopping different ones : Sugar, Honey, Pumpkin, Sweetheart, Darlin, Pookie, Lover, Sunny (like sunshine), Sunshine—it was a wild few weeks trying to figure out who he was talking to. Then one day, offhandedly, he was trying to tell you about this french film he had been watching, and trying to get Emily to watch with him. 
He called you ‘tres jolie’, and blushing you had asked him what it meant. He told you it meant pretty. 
And it stuck. 
Now? It stung. 
All you could do was squeeze tightly onto him, not ready to let go.
“You’re so pretty when you’re lying through your teeth.” You whispered after a few moments, pulling away out of his arms. 
“I.” You swallow and step back, out of his reach. “Maybe I’ll...” 
Spencer just looked up at the ceiling, trying to hold in the tears that were streaming down his face. 
You grabbed the last box on the counter and your keys, and walked out, for the last time. 
You awoke in your bed, eyes adjusting to the complete darkness the blackout curtains provided you. 
Another fucking night thinking about your decision those four years ago, and how your life may have gotten better because of it. 
Moving to get up from the bed, you decided to leave the curtains closed for now, feeling as if you could melt from the sun touching you. 
You turned on the bathroom light and started your morning routine. Wash face. Take meds. Brush teeth. Fix hair—
Somewhere in that process, you got lost, and just stared at yourself in the mirror. You weren’t sure for how long. All you could do was replay the last four years. 
Did you make the right choice? You were happy, you had your dream job. 
Maybe it was true what they say, you can only have a career or love, but not both—
The only thing taking you out of this spiral was the ringer on your phone going off. 
This caused some hesitation because your phone’s ringer was always off––the loud noise startling you. There were only a few people who had that emergency bypass, and none of them had called you in four years. 
You peaked out of the bathroom and saw the name light up on your phone. 
Emily Prentiss
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The door to the round room opened up and in walked Spencer Reid. “Catch me up.” 
Prentiss clicked the remote, and the TV lit up with a picture of a woman smirking facing the camera while holding a gun up to another one next to her. “Early this morning, Garcia got an email from an anonymous server.”
The second woman was tied up, mouth slightly open, and eyes filled with tears, while a man on the other side just had his eyes closed, tired. . 
Spencer just stared at the photo. 
Rossi nodded at the picture. “She's not obscuring her face, telling us she's got nothing to hide.”
He never pulled focus away from the screen, mouth dry at the thought of what today was going to be. “Any ideas on the unsub?”
“No.” Prentiss sighed. “Only the unsub's demand. That we release Catherine Adams in 24 hours.  I'm having her transferred here for questioning, but we have no illusions. This is just a game to her. We know that. The question is, do we want to play it or not?”
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Receiving a call from the FBI was not entirely new to you, since you had been engaged to one of their agents, but receiving one now? Weird. Off brand. Something was deeply wrong from them to have to give you a call. 
You hesitantly pick up the phone. “Hello?”
“Hey Y/n, it’s Emily Prentiss—“
“I know who you are, Emily. It’s been a couple years, not millions.” 
Emily hummed a brief laugh, and you could hear other voices behind her, unable to make out anything. 
“I know this is hard to ask of you, but would you stay on the phone with me and come in?” 
“What?” 
“I need you to stay very calm Y/n, but I need you to stay on the line with me, leave your apartment as soon as you can, and get to the BAU.” 
“Oh my god I totally forgot. It might take me an hour to get there with all this bullshit traffic, could we push the reservation an hour? Would they be willing to do that?” 
Your entire tone changed, having remembered what Spencer had told you all those years ago about if people were listening into your apartment, if they bugged your car—all paranoia that didn’t pay off then, might be paying off now. 
You were sure you could hear Emily sigh, and it sounded a little upset at the fact that you knew what to do–you knew how to handle a dangerous situation, which made her question everything in her life. 
Quickly you pulled on a pair of jeans and threw a sweatshirt over your pajama top and grabbed your keys off of the counter. 
You left your apartment, waved to one of your neighbors, and hopped into your car, still on the line, just trying not to panic. Maybe something went wrong, maybe Spencer wasn’t okay, maybe he had died—you refused to even acknowledge that thought and decided it was something else entirely. 
It was a very tense hour of driving, that was only about forty minutes since you knew how to drive above the speed limit. 
You realized that it was past midday, and you had taken full advantage of the weekend. So at least you had a decent amount of sleep under your belt for what felt like the beginning of an extraneous night. 
As you pulled into the parking garage, Emily Prentiss and someone you had never met before were standing there waiting for you. You placed your car in park, hopped out and walked up to them–only hanging up as soon as you were out of the car. 
Both of them had such grim looks on their faces, but at least they were trying to pretend like the situation wasn’t as bad as it appeared to your face. 
Emily engulfed you in a hug. “Missed you Y/n. It’s been too long.” 
“Well Em, next time I end an engagement with someone I’ll consider your feelings first.” You squeezed him back, dryly laughing at your own joke. At least it caused Emily to snort. 
“Y/n this is SSA Luke Alvez. Luke, this is Y/n Y/l/n.”
“It’s nice to meet you.” He gave a small smile and nodded at you.
“I wish it were under different circumstances.” You nodded back and looked over at Emily.
“Let’s head inside?” 
The three of you moved inside. 
Sure, you hadn’t been here in a while, but you knew your way around the BAU Bullpen if your life depended on it, which was ironic since that was what this feels like. 
As soon as you were safely in their round table room, Luke shut the door, and stood by it, Emily coming and sitting down next to you. 
“What do you know about Cat Adams?” 
That bitch. 
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“I would like to go on a date. With you.” 
Spencer stared at her, face stoic as ever. “A date?”
“Yes. I want to look pretty. And I want to have fun.” She looked him up and down. “And I won't even get physical, ok? Unless you want me to.”
Spencer sat down across from her. “Come here. Closer.”
Cat leaned in, a small smile on her face, absolutely intoxicated by being so close to him.
“The only date that I'll be there for is the one where they stick a needle in your vein.”
Cat scoffed. “You're just going to let her father and sister die? I don't think so.”
“I never said it was a father and daughter. You're already slipping.” He stood up from the table. “We'll find them. We always do.”
Cat leaned back and crossed her arms. “Not tonight. Tonight I win.”
His resolution had yet to change, “The score between me and you is two to zero. By tomorrow morning, it'll be a clean sweep. Enjoy eternal nothingness. It's a metaphor for your life.” 
And with that, the door slammed shut behind him.
______________________________________________________________
Both the profilers watched a series of emotions run rampant across your face, before you settled on a somewhat displeased smile. “A lot.” 
They exchanged a look, and you didn’t have the energy to pretend like you didn’t know what it was. 
“Don’t start with me you two. I know profiling. I know what you’re doing. Ask me the questions you want to ask. Don’t try and trick me into giving the answers you want.” 
Alvez bit his tongue and looked away, trying to hide a small smile that appeared on his lips. 
Emily, on the other hand, hid her smile a bit better than him, but part of being previously engaged to a profiler meant you picked up on some of their tricks too. 
She nodded and pulled a file from across the table. “I’m assuming you know the basics since she, uh, is obsessed with Spencer.”
“Glad to see he still has that going for him.” You muttered and looked into the file. 
Emily shot Luke a look when he let out a huff or air, trying his damndest not to laugh. 
“What is the last thing you know about her?” 
You recounted the days leading up to the restaurant, and then the few days after, decidedly stopping short of the engagement breaking off a week later. 
They shared another look, and you didn’t enjoy whatever it was that had moved across their faces. 
“What? What happened?” 
“Y/n..”
“No Emily, I drove from DC to here, I deserve to know what happened. without some weird sugarcoating, alright?” 
Emily then begins to explain to you the past four years of Reid’s life. Cat pretending she was pregnant with his kid in prison, kidnapping his mother, framing him for murder in Mexico, going to prison—
“Spencer went to prison and none of you thought to call me….”
“We didn’t think you’d–” 
“I’m a fucking criminal defense attorney in DC Emily. Of course I’d want to know if he was arrested, especially internationally. I know that law better than all of you. If someone I knew was kidnapped, I’d call you immediately. Faster than the cops.” 
Both of them went silent. 
“So is he out?” 
They nodded slowly, silently. 
“How long was he in there.”
Nothing. 
“I asked. How. Long.”
Luke spoke up. “Three months.” 
“Jesus christ.” You stood up and started to pace around the room, taking the time you needed to calm down. 
Why didn’t Spencer call you—well you knew why Spencer wouldn’t call you. 
“Okay so he’s out.” You said finally. “Why am I here?” 
“Cat’s execution is coming up, and we….we found out that she’s convinced someone to kidnap some….people…close to Reid, and we knew you’d be on that list for him.” 
Your eyebrows went up at people but said nothing of it. Just as you went to say something else, JJ knocked on the door, another blonde woman behind her. 
They entered and JJ gave you a small, yet genuine smile. 
You returned it, but quickly shifted your gaze onto the woman behind. 
Your whole body shifted slightly, into a place of defense, locking your emotions down. You knew all the profilers were watching it happen in real time, which is why Emily walked over and stood next to you, a hand appearing on the small of your back as a comfort.
“Would someone like to tell me what is going on here?” The blonde woman spoke up, arms crossed.
At least Spencer’s taste in partners with attitude hadn’t changed. 
______________________________________________________________
“Victimology is off.”
“How so?” Prentiss looked up at him as he walked into the room. 
“Father and daughter. She’s never done that before.” 
Lewis spoke up. “She usually kills men that remind her of her father. Children–even adult children, are off limits. Do we have an ID yet.” 
Prentiss, Rossi, Garcia, and JJ all looked over at Reid, and he just pulled a hand down his face. “It’s. It’s Issac and Noelle Y/l/n.” 
“Y/l/n…as is Y/n Y/l/n.” Tara looked up surprised at Spencer. 
Reid nodded slowly, just staring at the picture on the projector.
While Luke spoke up. “Who is Y/n Y/l/n.” 
“An old friend.” Rossi quickly interjected, before any more explanation had to be said. It was clear both Alvez and Simmons, that whoever this was, was an extremely touchy subject for Reid. 
Tara, who had only known you for a little while, looked back at the picture. 
Rossie spoke up. “What do we know about the partner who’s helping her?” 
“It’s got to be someone from her prison.” Simmons spoke up. “She hasn’t had contact with anyone else.” 
______________________________________________________________
After all of that, you found yourself back in a place you left four years ago. It looked almost the same as when you had first moved in, but there was less of it. 
Almost as if he was having trouble covering places where things used to be.
There were almost no photos on the walls, since you had taken half of them, and were in the rest. 
Calling someone you once loved a stranger feels wrong. 
Max, as you had learned her name, was just sitting on the couch in your spot . She was looking around as you and Rossi stood by the kitchen counter. 
“Cat had a cellmate named Juliette Weaver. We believe the two were working together, as a way for Cat to get something against Spencer, and as payment, Cat would get Juliette’s ex.”
You nodded. “How does this affect me?” 
“She took your father and sister.” 
Your back straightened and immediately brought out your phone, to call your sister, but Rossi just grabbed your wrist (gently) and shook his head. “If she finds out you know, then it’s all over. She’s doing this on purpose. She knows about you and Reid, but she knows that dragging you into all of this will hurt him more than anything else.” 
His voice had gone low and quiet, so that the girl on the couch couldn’t hear. 
“So why is she here?” You whispered back. 
“Because we don’t want anyone in danger.” 
You closed your eyes and nodded. “I need a cup of tea.” 
Rossi let go of your wrist, and you walked into the kitchen, mostly eyes closed from the stress of the situation. 
The apartment was silent, the others watching as you grabbed a kettle, and started to make tea. It was like second nature to you as you turned the stovetop on, grabbed a mug from the cabinet (careful to not grab one of his favorites), and grabbed some tea from the cabinet. 
It didn’t dawn on you that you were drinking your favorite type of tea until the second sip, while the entire apartment was still silent. 
The pity from Rossi's look was palpable. 
“Don’t even start.” 
He shrugged and stayed silent. 
Until his walkie went off and he looked at Max. “It’s time. Let’s go.” 
Rossi looked back at you and gave you a quick hug, squeezing you tightly. “You’ve got this kid. Remember everything we talked about.” 
You nodded and gave them both a strained smile as they left the apartment, leaving you all alone in this place you once called home, alone. 
Never once, since you left, did you think you would ever be back here. You didn’t even realize you were drinking from one of your own mugs until it was just you. The irony of it was not lost on you, and you sat down in your spot on the couch. 
Well first you sat in Spencer’s seat but it felt too weird, so you shifted back into your spot on the couch. 
______________________________________________________________
“Juliette staked out in Reid’s life. Found out he was dating someone, but then must have discovered his ex-fiancée.” Simmons sighed. “He was probably so focused on Max, he didn’t even realize that someone was digging into his history, following them around.”
Prentiss nodded as they walked and talked. “But if Juliette was able to find Max, that meant she was easily able to find Y/n and her family. It means she must have access to all of her publicly available information. “
“Well at least we found their hidden agenda.” 
“No. We found Cat’s hidden agenda. Juliette doesn’t care about Reid. There’s something we’re missing here. Do a deep dive with Garcia.” 
Simmons nodded at Prentis. “On it.” 
“I’ll go to Reid's apartment and monitor onsite. Is there a trap and trace on his landline?” 
“Garcia’s almost set up.” Simmons walked away from Prentiss, and down towards Penelope’s office. 
“Well this went from bad to worse.” Tara walked up to Emily. 
Emily sighed in agreement. 
Lewis spoke up. “Female narcissists destroy their competition.Y/n  really shouldn’t be in there.” 
Emily just nodded and the two of them headed out of the bullpen. “Walk with me.” 
Tara kept stride with her as they pushed through the doors. Rossi was just getting off the phone with someone and turned to look at the two women approaching him and JJ. 
JJ spoke up when Rossi was finished. “So, the hospital just released the dad– Issac Y/l/n. He's on his way here now.
Rossi scoffed. “Question is, why let him go at all?”
“Matt's on that.” Emily gestures in the direction of Garcia’s office. “Juliette Weaver's real agenda should tell us where she's taking Y/n’s younger sister.”
Lewis spoke next. “I still think the play here is to get Cat and Juliette to contact each other, but I have no idea how.”
Prentiss crossed her arms. “I have a plan, but first we have to talk about Y/n.” 
______________________________________________________________
Just then, you heard the click of the door, and stood up, watching as the door swung open. 
And there he was. 
This was the first time you had seen Spencer in four years. 
And here he was, kissing Catherine Adams. 
The woman you could give partial credit to for ending your relationship. 
After a moment Spencer looked up, and took several steps away from Cat. His eyes were wide and locked on yours. 
It took a lot of self-restraint to not punch the lights out of Cat, and to stand still arms crossed. 
“Y/n?” Spencer’s voice broke a little bit. 
You never would say that Spencer was unattractive. In fact, it would be a lie if you ever said it. But something about the past four years aged him like a fine wine. 
His hair was a bit longer, he had some scruff—his baby face had melted away and standing in front of you was a man who thought you knew everything about, but was now a stranger. 
You didn’t answer him, watching as he took you in, standing in his apartment, for the first time since…
“What are you doing here?” 
You looked over at Cat, who had the most devious smirk on her face. 
Remember what Prentiss had said to you. 
“You know why I’m here.” 
Cat nodded and the two of them moved into the apartment, the door closing behind them. 
Spencer just stood ten feet away from you, eyes never leaving you, and you watched him right back. 
Cat, on the other hand, was walking around, examining the apartment. You could see her take notice of the tea you had made yourself on the counter. You could see the hatred from the corner of your eyes. The two of you were starting to piss her off. 
She spoke up, after a few moments of silence. “Did it make you mad that I was kissing your Fiancé?” 
You shook your head. “No.”
Your focus had fully turned to Cat, but you swore you swore you could hear Spencer take a sharp inhale as you spoke your next words.
“Well, he's not my fiancé and I kind of have some other things on my mind.”
Cat didn’t scare you, but there was just something so off-putting about her. “Like what?” 
“Are you gonna hurt Noelle?”
Cat shrugged. “Not if I don't have to, no. Honestly, if she follows instructions, she might even learn from this whole experience.”
You scoffed. “What does that mean?”
Cat just started fiddling with the chess set on the dresser. 
“Spencer, what does she mean?” You turned to look back at him, his name feeling so good on your tongue. 
Spencer, who really hadn’t stopped looking at you and sighed. “I think…She means that Noelle isn’t learning from her, but from Juliette.” 
You sat down in your spot on the couch, arms crossed. You were on the full defense. 
Spencer noticed where you sat and had to look down to conceal any notions of a smile on his face. 
Cat watched him before turning and looking at you, some more disdain on her face than before. 
“Normally, Spencie and I, we spend our time together playing games, but tonight, I've brought you all here to make a point. You are doing so much better.” 
Spencer spoke up. “With you?”
“I'm not talking to you.” Cat snapped at him before she turned to you. “I'm talking to you. Because, girlfriend, you need to know the truth about your fiancé.” 
“He's not my finacé.” You were unsure about how many more times you could say that outloud. 
“No kidding. When’s the last time you spoke? Right…” Cat walked over to the center of the room, right in front of the couch. “Here?” 
Your head whipped around to Spencer. “You told her about that?”
Spencer was pleading with his eyes. “I had to say a lot of things tonight.”
Cat’s voice caused your head to snap back to her. “Yes, he has. He said that you never compared to me, that, um... That no matter what, he will never get me out of his mind, unlike you. Unlike that girlfriend.” 
You tried not to wince at the mention of that girl Maxine out in one of the trucks.
Spencer sat down next to you. “Everything I said—I was lying to save your family.”
Cat scoffed. “Did our kiss look like a lie?” 
“No.” you just looked down at your hands. 
“Thank you. See, now we're getting to the heart of the matter.” Cat started mocking Spencer. “You see, everyone thinks that Dr. Spencer Reid is... Is just this nice, bookish, uh, genius who, uh, always saves the day and has all the answers. And has zero mommy issues, right? But, um... I know the real him.” 
“Oh, yeah? Who's the real me, Cat?” 
“The real Spencer Reid throws women against walls. And hisses that he's going to kill them.” 
Spencer stood up, squaring off against her.  “That was a very different situation.”
“No, it wasn't.” Cat was holding the smirk back this time, making your gut wretch. 
“Spencer…What is she talking about?” You looked from the psychopath in front of you, to the man you realized you might have never really known beside you.
“You tell her. She's not gonna believe it coming from me.” She huffed. 
Reid turned and looked at you. “Two years ago, Cat had her partner kidnap my mother. Just like tonight. She got under my skin and…”
Your chest hurts. “And you threw her against a wall?” 
Cat’s smirk was breaking through whatever resolve she had. “Don't skimp on the details, Spencie. She deserves to know everything.”
Every single time she said Spencie you swore a shock went up your spine. 
Spencer looked down at his hands, and then over at you. His voice had gotten quieter. “She was pregnant at the time and I knew that when I hurt her.” 
“And?” She stood there expectantly, waiting for Spencer to finish. When he didn’t, her face suddenly became solemn. “The next day... I miscarried. The end.”
Spencer looked at her. “That's not true.” 
“It is most certainly true. Check my medical records.” 
“That doesn't mean I-I would…”
Cat held up her hand to him. “Stop. Look.”
Spencer looked over at you, just sitting on the couch, trying to process everything that was going through your head. 
After thinking about everything you had gone through, especially with Spencer. “I thought you were better than that Spence.” 
It was the first time you had used a nickname for him in years. And he was hearing it for the first time while you were stuck in a standoff between himself and Cat Adams, your sister being god knows where. 
Spencer’s voice cracked. “I'm sorry.” 
Cat squatted down in front of you, a sick smile on her lips. She was enjoying this. She truly enjoyed watching his life crumble to bits. “Notice how your Spencie is apologizing to you and not me.”
You clenched your hands. “He’s not mine…”
Spencer just looked over at you. 
Cat nodded. “That's good. Because men are all the same. Aren't they, Jolie?” 
Spencer’s eyes lit up with an emotion you rarely saw from him when you were together. “Don't call her that.”
And you couldn’t blame him. The word ran you through like a spear and you were sure if you looked behind you, the blade would be through the couch. You tried so hard to not let either of the two people near you see how much it messed with you. Luckily for you, Cat was too busy pushing Spencer’s buttons to see the way her words won against you. 
Cat hissed at him. “What, are you gonna throw me against a wall and choke me, or do you only do that to pregnant women?” 
You finally spoke up. “Why are you doing this?”
“Because I want you to see it.” She gestured to Spencer. “I want you to see that he is...no better than he was before, or any man after. They’re all the same.” 
“Stop.”
Cat squatted down in front of you. “I can see it on your face. What's his name?” 
You stared back at her. “It's none of your business.”
That damned smirk of hers returned. “It is exactly my business. In fact, it's my specialty. I mean, I could have Juliette and baby sister go over there if you want. They could take care of him.” 
Reid looked over at you. “Say yes. Give her what she wants.” 
“Hmm. See, he wants you to get me to make a little phone call so they can trace it.” She moved away from you both and sat down in the lounging chair across from you. “They're so good, the FBI.”
You jumped up and started pacing, a spitting image of four years ago. “What is wrong with the two of you? What is this sick, twisted thing that you have? Listen, I just want to save my sister. Will you please just tell me what I have to do to do that?” 
“Tell me his name. Tell me the story. That's it. And then if they can let Juliette exit stage right, then I promise you I will let her go.”
You looked between Cat and Spencer before walking over to the kitchen, and hanging up the phone. After staring down at the decision you had just made, you walked back over and took your phone out. “Here.  Use this. Use my phone. They can't trace it.”
She just watched you. “You'd be surprised.”
“I don't even need a call. Just... just a photo.” You held the phone out to her. “Something to prove to me that she's still alive. Please”. 
Cat just looked up at your face. “Story first.”
“Y/n. Please.” Spencer turned to you, hoping you’d look back at him. “I have been here with her before. She called the number and told the partner to kill my mom.”
“It is so tricky, isn't it? I mean, who are you gonna trust? The lying, cheating, violent psychopath... Or me?”
You looked down at the ground, refusing to look over at Spencer. “His…His name was Mike Davis. We dated for two years. I met him a month after we…we split.”
Cat’s attention on you felt as if there were a million bees stinging your body all at different intervals, pain coursing through your body. “Good. When did it end?” 
“Last year.” 
“Was he good in bed?” 
Spencer stood up. “Shut up.” 
Cat was enjoying this. She was enjoying watching you make Spencer uncomfortable. She was enjoying hurting him in every masochistic way she could. “What? You have to know where you stand.”
“He was good…” You looked back at Cat. “Good at, um, separating me from my friends and my family. Enough that the first time he punched me in the face, I didn't have anywhere to go. And my first response wasn't "get out." It wasn't "go to hell." It was "I'm sorry, Mike." That's when he knew he had me.”
There was a glint in Spencer’s eyes, and you could swear they were tears, but you couldn’t tell from rage or sorrow. 
Cat continued to probe. “How many hospital visits were there?” 
You showed her a small scar on the inside of your elbow. “None. No, he... He knew how to hurt me just enough to hide it all, I guess.”  
“But you found the strength to leave. What did you do?” 
“ I planned and I... I waited.”
Cat’s eyes lit up. “Waited for what? “
“I live here in D.C.” You looked between Spencer and Cat. “but I'm also a resident in Virginia. It takes 60 days for the permit to clear.”
Spencer’s eyes widened. “Y/n, stop talking. Stop talking right now.”
Cat shushed him. “No, don't stop. Here. Give me the phone. Look, I'm gonna enter the text. Stick the landing and I'll hit "send."
You handed her the phone and she quickly typed out a message, her thumb hovering over send. 
Fiddling with your ring finger, you started to speak again. Slowly. Concisely. “When I was ready, I picked a fight. Loud enough for the neighbors to hear. And he came at me with his fist just cocked back, so I pulled my Glock 19 out of my purse. I shot him.”
Spencer tried to interject. “It was self-defense. He was attacking you—”
“That's what I told 911 as he was struggling to breathe on his kitchen floor. That's why the police never charged me. I’m a lawyer, I know how to plead.” You closed your eyes. “But I... after I hung up, I... I shot him two more times.” 
Cat was glowing, spinning around to face Spencer. “Wow, you really have a type, don't you? Quite a dilemma, too. She just admitted to murder.” 
Spencer was in disbelief. “She'll beat it.” . 
“Probably. But whatever feelings she might have still had for you, and whatever Maxine might have seen in you—-it’s all gone.” 
The phone in your hand buzzed.
“Oh, wow. Look at that. Your sister. Alive and well. You're welcome.” 
Your face hardened up, and you stood up straighter. Walking away from the two of them, you opened the door. “I got it.” 
She took the phone from your hand and you turned back to the two of them. There was no emotion behind your eyes as you looked back at Spencer. 
Cat smirked and looked up at Spencer. “I win.” 
______________________________________________________________
The prison transport was quiet, with the two guards sitting across from Spencer and Cat. It had been silent for about twenty minutes, but then, Cat spoke up. 
“Do you know why I did this? Why I really did this?” 
Spencer looked down at his hands. “You wanted to prove I'm a monster just like you.”
“No... Silly. I just wanted to see you again. I just wanted to make sure that you would never forget about me.” She sighed. “'Cause when they do put that needle in my arm, I just want there to be even the slightest chance that... Maybe you're still thinking about me…”
Spencer stiffened as she placed her head on his shoulder. “You didn't have to terrorize 3 innocent people. You could've just written a letter.” 
“Would you have written me back?” 
When Spencer didn’t respond, Cat knew her answer. 
“Bye, Spencie. I really enjoyed our date.” She smiled at him desperately, getting dragged out of the vehicle by the guards to the prison. 
______________________________________________________________
The elevator door opened and Spencer walked out of it, his whole body reeked of defeat, and he barely looked at Emily as she spoke.  “We need to debrief.” 
Spencer just walked right past her, and into the bullpen. His expression changed when he saw you on one side talking to Tara, and Max on the other, looking up at him right as he walked in. 
“Spencer, are you okay?” 
Her voice caught your ear, and immediately you looked up to see her walk over and embrace him in a hug. 
He smiled at her, and grateful returned the hug before muttering that he would be back, and explain everything.
You were never going to get back together with Spencer, but watching it in real time was like unlacing an old wound. 
Spencer walked over to you, and you stood up as he approached. 
“Uh, Tara, would you mind giving us…”
She nodded at him and walked away. 
Both of you went to speak, trying to say something to the other. 
“I should explain all of this.” 
Spencer shook his head. “You don’t have to explain any of that Y/n—it doesn’t.” 
You cut him off. “It was fake—most of it. I didn’t kill anyone, Spence. I was just lying to her to get her to send the text from my phone. It was all…It was made up.” 
He just nodded, staring at you really. 
You gave him a soft smile, and gently placed a hand on his shoulder. Both of you could feel the pulse between it, making you remove your hand and take a small step back. 
“Thank you for saving my sister and father.” 
Spencer watched your resolve fully formed, masking whatever you were feeling. He hated watching it happen to him, watching as you placed whatever feelings you had back into somewhere he couldn’t find. 
Garcia walked over and placed a hand on Spencer’s shoulder. “I just need you both to know, Cat Adams had a miscarriage, but it was months after whatever encounter you had. It’s not your fault. We looked at her records.” She was speaking low for you both, yet both of you let out a quiet sigh of relief. 
“They filled me in on everything that happened between both of you in the past couple years, and they asked me if I would be willing to…help them beat her.” 
Spencer looked up at you, and unlike yourself, every single emotion Spencer was feeling was racing across his face. 
He didn’t like that you knew about everything that had gone down. He was so happy you were okay. He was a little impressed by the way you beat Cat at her own game. He was upset that you put yourself in danger. 
“They gave me an ear piece and everything.” 
Spencer shook his head. “You’re not trained—that’s extremely dangerous of you.” 
You sighed and nodded. “Unfortunately Spencer, this is…this was the life I was used to when we were together. I knew the stakes. I mean the briefings I had with Hotch after you relapsed…” 
Spencer just clammed up and stood a bit straighter. “ I never knew..”
“It was like that on purpose. I didn’t want you to think that you were a burden or too much or—I was doing it for the potential of…” You cut yourself of, flinching at the parallels between this and your previous final conversation. 
You looked over at Garcia. “I need my bag Pen.” You whispered, taking a step away from Spencer. “I shouldn’t…I finished my job. My family is safe…” 
She had a rueful look on her face, but she nodded and took your arm, walking you back over to the desk where your stuff was. 
He looked up at Emily and walked over to her. “I’m…uh. I’m gonna go walk her out and then I’ll be right back.” 
Emily gave him the saddest smile, and just nodded. She knew that nothing she could say could make it any better. 
You grabbed your coat, and your bag, and the two of you walked to the elevator in silence, riding it all the way down to the parking garage, where your car was still there from this afternoon, all of those hours ago. 
You looked over at Spencer, tears in your eyes, having not said anything to him. 
As soon as he met your eyes, you dropped your bag, and Spencer wrapped his arms around you tightly, just holding you and resting his head on yours; trying to give you the comfort that he was rarely able to give you. 
Sobbing into his arms, you just tightly wrapped your arms around his torso and just held onto him tightly. Trying to decompress, trying to truly understand everything that had happened in the past twelve hours. 
It was Spencer who spoke first. 
“I’m so so sorry Y/n.” He whispered. “I never meant any of this to happen to you, and for you to get dragged back here and—” 
You shook your head slightly, but didn’t move from where you were. Neither of you did. 
“It’s what she wanted, Spence, and unfortunately for us, this was always bound to happen.” You whispered. 
The hug felt so good, but something about it was just so different. 
It’s not the way it used to be. 
“I need to go Spencer.” 
He nodded, and this time you moved away from him. His hand came up and wiped away one of the remaining tears on your cheek. 
You closed your eyes, and took a deep breath. 
“Oh fuck, why is this so fucking hard four years later.” You laughed, trying to regain any sort of composure. 
“Y/n…”
You took another step away from him and shook your head. 
“We can’t—I’m not.” You tried so hard to find the right words without bursting into tears again. “Spencer. I cannot put myself back to where I was four years ago. I can’t do it. And yes things have changed, but maybe that is for the better. Maybe you were always meant to be my maybe, and not my always.” 
You took another breath, but kept going. “You are amazing, and funny, and so smart Spence. But this…we ran our course. It didn’t work then, and I don’t know if I have it in me to try again just for it to fail.” 
“Y/n please.” 
“I will always love you but this…It’s time to…It’s time to stop. I have to go back to my life, and you go back upstairs to yours, with Prentiss and Rossi and Penelope and…Max.” 
Both of you winced as you said her name, but you took a step forward, moving to kiss him on the cheek. 
Spencer gently grabbed you face, giving you enough time to back out. 
You didn’t. 
His lips locked with yours, his thumb rubbing against your cheek as the two of you shared one more moment, just for the two of you. 
But it had to end. 
You couldn’t go back to the anxiety, the arguing, the petty disagreements. It wasn’t good for you. It was good for either of you. 
Stepping away again, you gently kissed his cheek, and started to slowly walk to your car. 
Right as you got to your car, you turned around and made eye contact with him one last time before the elevator doors closed, both of you with the most gut wrenching smile slightly plastered across your faces. 
You mouthed goodbye, unable to speak it out loud, and he nodded, tears filling his eyes as he whispered it back to you. 
The doors shut. 
You were all alone in this hollow parking garage. 
Your heart was aching, burning. 
But there was a sigh of relief, that came with the doors closing, and saying goodbye for the last, last time. 
488 notes · View notes
moonlight-prose · 5 months ago
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RIGHT WHERE YOU LEFT ME
➛ 05. ANGEL OF SMALL DEATH
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a/n: i am apologizing now and a chapter early because this will be the last bit of happiness before the real angst settles in. i'm talking absolute pain. but for now we get to indulge in logan being content and happy with having his honey exactly how he wants. this chapter wasn't supposed to be this long, but i'm feral for this man. so here we are. enjoy the equivalent to a beach episode in a tv show before the real pain begins!
summary: when the world grows silent and time seems to stand still, you and logan find a reprieve in the serenity of your apartment.
OR nasty fucking him all over the small space until he sees god.
word count: 8k+
pairing: logan howlett x f!reader
warnings: EXPLICIT SO MINORS DNI, oral (m receiving), sloppy toppy to the highest degree, p in v sex, choking, cumplay, spitplay, dirty talk, wade being a peeping tom, just wade, squirting, slightly dom!logan, accidental edging, face fucking, creampie, logan being a freak and his honey matching him entirely.
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He slept. For the first time in near a decade, he slept long after the sun rose in the morning sky. He resided in a vast emptiness of nothing but darkness. No nightmares, no screams, no fear that ate his heart bit by bit until all but a shell remained. Merely the echo of your breaths as you lay sprawled across his chest—naked skin pressed intimately atop his.
The curtains on your bedroom window remained open from the day prior—allowing the sun to stream in. Catching across your face and forcing your eyes to open with a squint of displeasure. You stirred gently, a sigh pressed to the hard chest against your cheek. The one that rose and fell in time with his heart beat.
Surprisingly he didn't snore as often as you expected. The first night he spent in your bed he was rigid. Unsure of where to lay, or how to curve around your body. Now he remained a heavy mass that slumped into your soft mattress, one arm spread to your side of the bed and the other a weight on your back.
Even in sleep Logan was adamant on keeping you right there. Pressed tight enough to feel every shift, every deep and sated breath.
A sore ache built between your thighs as you turned your head to look at him—admiring the way his face was devoid of a frown. After the fifth orgasm (three around his cock and two from his mouth) you had no choice but to shove him away. The promise of more on the tip of your tongue—as long as you got a chance to rest.
Although you were positive if he tried to fuck you right away you'd be screaming. And not from pleasure. The raw pain of your still leaking cunt is what kept you from shuffling up his body to sit on his now hard cock. It stirred against your stomach, pressed deliciously on your warm skin. You could feel it begin to drip, pooling against the trail of hair that led downward.
Moving slowly, you managed to maneuver yourself down his body—checking with each shift to see if he remained asleep. The sight made you smile; knowing he felt safe enough to find some solace in a dreamless night here in your bed. You watched him toss and turn on Wade's couch long enough.
For now he’d get a chance to actually breathe peacefully. His body no longer at the ready for a fight that would never come.
"Pretty," you sighed, eyes trailing down his stomach to the patch of hair nestled at the base of his already hard cock.
A pearlescent drop slipped down the vein, his chest a steady rise and fall even as you carefully peeked your tongue out to lick it up. You froze when his body shifted, a heavy sigh falling past his lips. Waking him up was the last thing you wanted—given the state of unrest he found himself stuck in for two weeks—but the thought of finally getting to taste him kept you going.
The salty tang of him spread along your tongue as you licked at his cock again. This time less afraid of feeling his body shift. He seemed to be on the very precipice of consciousness. But sleep would hold him captive for just a bit longer.
You moaned softly when your lips wrapped around him fully—hand gently holding what you may not be able to fit in your mouth. If last night told you anything, it’s that James Howlett was not a small man. In fact you had proof to uphold that statement. Yet that alone wouldn't deter you from taking him as deep as you could; even if you choked.
The stuttered breath that left his chest made your heart race the further you went. Pulling off quickly, you let your spit drip out of your mouth, coating his length to help you slide down a bit easier. The wet echo of your hand filled the room—his breaths deep and raspy as he started to feel the tendrils of pleasure take hold in his body.
Biting back another whine, you swallowed him down until he hit the back of your throat. Your hand a steady rhythm along what you couldn't fit. He pulsed on your tongue; precum dribbled down the back of your throat. The taste made your head spin—his cum now leaking from your spent cunt. Coating the inside of your thighs with a combination of you and him.
A match made in the entanglement of two universes. Colliding into one another without mercy.
"F-fuck," he groaned, hips shifting forward and choking you on his cock. You spluttered for breath as he caused you to gag—spit leaking down to his pubic hair.
Even through your gasps for air and soft breathy whimpers, he remained asleep. Lost in a dream of you sucking his cock greedily back into your mouth. Eyes overflowing with tears and lungs begging for just a bit more oxygen. He fucked your mouth gently, hips thrusting unconsciously to stay in that wet heat. To feel just a bit more of a white hot ecstasy you helped him chase.
Cupping his balls, you felt your spit coat them in a sticky layer. You wanted them in your mouth. Ached to feel them on your tongue. And with a gasp of the crisp morning air, you shifted—sucking on them with a soft moan of need.
Your hand pumped him rapidly, building his high until there was no denying what was happening. Scraping your teeth along the soft skin of his balls, you felt them draw up tightly. Logan's eyes flew open with a sharp gasp of air, his face tilting to see you between his thighs—your chin and mouth covered in a mix of your spit and his precum.
His mouth opened to speak, to give you a filthy comment you'd no doubt feel down your spine. Only for you to take him down your throat in one swift thrust. Tugging sharply on his pulsing balls to draw him right over the edge.
He came with a raw shout of your name, spilling into your mouth with enough cum to choke you. Until it began to leak out around your spread lips—trailing the sticky mess down your hand. His chest heaved as he struggled to breathe—head pushed back into the pillow and back arched with the force of his release. And you kept going.
You licked up every trace of his spend with an eager tongue and sighed out moans. A hand yanked you up his body, fingers gripping your chin to keep your mouth open as you looked at him with eyes glazed over—your body covered in a sheet of sweat.
"Share," he rasped, tugging you closer.
Smiling, you cupped his chin and guided his open mouth towards yours. Allowing whatever cum remained on your tongue to drip down onto his awaiting taste buds. The shiver that ran down his body caused you to clench around nothing—empty and aching for this to continue.
He moaned, pulling you in for a kiss that had you clambering into his lap. Your tongue sliding against his and fingers delving into his bedhead of hair. The passion from last night still lingered in your veins. A silent plea for his touch to drag down your naked form; for him to consume you entirely. Yet you remained content like this—in his arms, lazily kissing until you had no choice but to come up for air.
"I can make us breakfast," you murmured, running your thumb along his cheek—your breath a warm caress on his face.
A hum purred in his chest, hands cupping your ass and kneading the flesh with a sleepy grin. "That sounds good."
"Got anything in mind?"
His eyes trailed down your throat to the way your breasts were pushed up against his chest. You felt your nipples tighten at the heat from his gaze. The want in his touch that left you craving for more. Vanessa really wasn't kidding when she told you he'd lock you in this apartment. Ravishing you every way he knew how; showing you everything he learned in his two hundred years on Earth.
"I do," he replied, voice low and thick with sleep.
"Yeah?" He nodded, an air of serenity lighting up his eyes. The sight felt new—unlike the Logan from last night—but you could feel the warmth of it slide down your spine. Encasing you in a cocoon of domesticity that thrived in the afternoon sun. "Pancakes?"
"Mm." Lips trailed along your jaw, tracing the line of your neck with gentle bites that were soothed by his hot tongue. "I've got somethin' else in mind honey."
Heat pooled between your legs, slicking your skin with a fresh wave of arousal. You felt his nostrils flare—your scent thick in the air and drawing out a side of him that begged to take a bite out of your plush form. He wanted to eat you alive. It sent a thrill of fear through his body.
You longed to explain that you felt the very same way about him.
A low growl emanated from your stomach, pulling him free from the shackles of lust that clamped on his neck. The flutter of your heart was only furthered by his soft laugh; hazel eyes now a bit clearer as he listened to the cues of your body.
"Actual food then," he said, tapping your ass lightly to shift you when he clambered out of bed. Searching for the jeans that were thrown to the side.
You tried to swallow the flare of disappointment that soured your stomach and Logan could tell. He knew you wanted to stay there tangled beneath the sheets. Your bodies stuck to one another long enough to cause discomfort. Fuck he'd never wanted anything more. He could sense the danger in letting his heart be filled by you—the fear of this going a different way.
Silencing it was near impossible when all he wanted to do was listen to it.
Pressing a kiss to your furrowed brows, he handed you his flannel. Watching in adoration as you struggled with the buttons. Similar to him twenty four hours prior.
Not bothering with his belt, he walked out into your living room—seeing the trail of clothing left in your wake of need. He gathered what he could, tossing your robe to the back of the couch. His boots placed by the foot of the coffee table. While you stumbled behind him on unsteady legs that still shook from last night's activities.
Pride flared hot in his chest at the sight; his cock twitching in interest at your messy state.
"I can make the pancakes," you announced, trying your best to walk to the stove without your knees buckling beneath you.
He laughed, reaching an arm around your waist to tug you back and into his chest. "I know how to make pancakes bub."
"And if I don't believe you?"
His lips pressed to your ear, teeth biting at the lobe. "I used to be a teacher honey. Who do you think kept those kids fed most of the time?"
"The other X-Men," you huffed, though the smile on your face told him you were more than happy to stay in his arms. "Weren't they professors too?"
"Yeah right," he scoffed. "Jean was considered a fuckin' fire hazard and forget Scott. He couldn't even find the kitchen if he wanted to." He walked you both towards the counter, turning you to sit you on it with a messy kiss that had his teeth digging into your lip—pulling at it gently with a groan. "Storm was better. She knew how to handle the little shits when they came up with strange food demands."
You smiled, curling your arms around his waist. "I like hearing you talk about them."
A flicker of grief filtered through the joy, reminding him of what he once had. But as usual, he smothered it with a puff of air—craving the taste of a cigar between his teeth he could bite down on. Something to let his pain sink into other than you.
"It's been awhile."
"Well you should talk about them. They're your family Logan."
His body went stiff, hands pressed flat to the counter, and you let the words sink into his skin. You watched his mind come to life with old memories long past. Good memories. Ones that involved cooking in a kitchen full of students and jokes with the people he loved most. He felt the weight of grief begin to lift off his chest with each moment of laughter, each piece of love he once forgot.
All the horrors he'd endured buried the good under a wave of bleak nothingness.
To have them back brought a light he forgot once belonged.
"They uh..." He cleared his throat, moving to grab a mixing bowl you stored somewhere deep in your cabinets. You weren't one for cooking often; the dinner with Logan being an exception. "I forgot how it feels."
"What?"
"Havin' them back. Even if it's just through this." He smiled—more to himself than anything—and flicked the stove burner on.
A part of you knew that was the end of the conversation for now. After spending decades avoiding his past mistakes—his trauma that might never heal—he finally felt safe enough to open the door. Even if it barely remained cracked enough for you to peek through. This was him taking a step towards keeping true to the promise he uttered against your lips last night.
The intent of staying no longer an echo of words that held no weight behind them.
There existed—between you and him—a sense of fulfillment that sprouted from the seeds of the you he knew before. A version that was capable of handling his grief, because you shared in it. You mourned his family for one sole reason: they were your family too.
If you could give that to him now, you would. Offering him a place of serenity despite the chaos he lingered in was enough. You could see it on his face—the peace he'd been searching for...now in his grasp. He'd be damned to let even a sliver of it go now.
The scent of batter being poured onto a grill filled your apartment, setting the hunger in your body alight with a new vigor. He moved with such fluidity and ease. As if he already memorized the layout of your kitchen from the last time he was here; his hand reaching for things in drawers you forgot were there. You traced your gaze along his bare back, down the curves and sinews of his muscles that rippled beneath his skin.
Skin you clawed at with need; that ripped beneath your nails and healed over seconds later. You longed to place your mark on his body, to see a trail of hickeys lead down into his jeans. But that remained a disappointment you could live with. As long as he let you try over and over again.
"Careful honey." His hand pressed to the counter, back hunching as his nostrils flared. "I gotta feed ya before anything else can happen."
"I'm not-"
He turned, eyes narrowing at the way your thighs pressed together to alleviate the growing ache. "Then spread 'em."
Your breath grew heavy, eyes lidded as lust washed over your body with a demand you couldn't fight again. The sight of you practically panting at the sight of his grin—so sure that he'd find you dripping onto the marble counter—left you clamoring for some semblance of control. Surely you could wait until he'd finished cooking. You needed food more than him.
But the longer he watched you—scrutinizing every part of your trembling form—began to shift that truth to something else entirely.
"C'mon bub. Show me the mess you're makin'." A whine echoed in the small kitchen as he flipped another pancake onto the plate. "Be good and I'll reward you."
Fuck.
Your legs parted, flannel pulled up, as you revealed the slick lips of your cunt that begged for his attention. A groan rumbled in his chest, his eyes greedy in the way he devoured the sight of you so ready for him to slip right in. The spatula nearly bent in his hand—the smoldering scent of a forgotten pancake became an afterthought as he stepped closer.
"Logan the stove," you breathed.
He flicked it off without looking, the small pile of pancakes slid beside you with a fork. "Eat."
"But-"
The pointed look shut you up within seconds, his hands parting your thighs to spread you even further. Until he was standing before you with intent hammering in his heart. Cutting through the pancakes, you moaned at the taste as it hit your tongue. Only for Logan to drop to his knees—his thumbs pulling you open for your slick to pour out right onto the counter.
"What are you—oh-" you gasped, a hand digging into his hair as his mouth sealed over your cunt with a husky moan.
He watched you while his tongue licked over every part of you. Plunging into you as you swallowed down the buttery pancake—your mouth parted with another heady moan of his name. The challenge was clear enough for you to understand without further questioning. You were meant to eat. As he indulged in devouring a breakfast of his own.
The tip of his tongue flicked at your clit, drawing a whine from your throat—the fork nearly slipping out of your hand. Only for him to grasp it and drag it back to the plate. He stopped, keeping his mouth directly over your throbbing center, yet never touching you. The action was enough to drag even a sane person to madness.
"I'm sorry," you whimpered, the burn of tears stinging your eyes as you cut another piece and placed it on your tongue.
He continued with a growl. Sucking at you lewdly until all you could hear was the echo of his mouth moving over you wetly. His thumb rubbing quick circles over your clit, tongue thrusting deep enough to drink down every drop of you that poured out.
Having managed to eat two of the smaller pancakes, you felt the tendrils of pleasure begin to rush through your body—pulling and tugging at each nerve with a familiar heat you'd grown to love. He moaned, eyes fluttering shut as he ate you with a drunken hunger. An urgency to feel you pulse around his tongue.
"Logan I'm gonna-" You gasped, fingers yanking on his hair.
The fork clattered to the counter—your hips dragging along his mouth with a cry as you broke for him. Unlike before this felt like a rush of fresh air. An echo of love that lingered in his tongue, in his promise to keep you. Your chest heaved, legs trembling over his shoulders, and the ache of want still stuck to your skin like the humid air of summer.
He didn't quell your hunger.
He merely lit the match for something stronger.
"Good job," he murmured, catching your lips in a kiss that had you wrapping your body around him, arms twining around his neck. "Mm. Think I found somethin' better than fuckin' syrup."
The skin of your cheeks burned hot as he smiled; his tongue licking at your open mouth. Words were lost as you kissed him with an eagerness that threatened to break you. This is what you longed for. The promise of a life overflowing with small bits of joy. Pieces of a future that echoed with what you built together.
Certainly not a perfect Polaroid, but you supposed that's what made the sun spots so endearing. It captured the truth of what still had to be figured out. The pain that you'd one day have to face head on. But as he kissed you slowly, hands grasping gently at your flesh, you felt certain that things would be okay.
Because he would be there, standing beside you with his hand in yours, ready to face it with you.
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The midday sun cast shadows along your living room, turning dark spots into shade you now lounged in. Logan sat at your kitchen table with a plate of food you'd made an hour after your kitchen escapades. The quiet of having him there, watching you with a warmth in his eyes that burned lovingly against your skin, left you craving more of this.
"I like you in my shirt," he said, pushing the now empty plate to the side.
You smiled, leaning against the edge of the table as he kissed your bare thigh. "I like you in no shirt."
"Yeah I bet bub," he chuckled.
The heavy press of his palm to your leg kept you still—even as you continued to burn from an hour ago. You didn't rush him into the act, because if anything you had an excess of time. One more day off from work left you with the knowledge that you would have Logan more times than your body could handle.
He was quickly turning into an addiction you held no intention of kicking. How could you? When the sweetness of him spread along your tongue like the finest whiskey known to man. When you were so devoted to a relationship that barely started to bloom. Yet you felt as if you'd known him your entire life. Your heart was waiting for him to appear—claim you without question—and you could do nothing but respond with a desperate yes.
"Still needy for me honey?" he teased, standing to his full height with a soft grunt, his hands spreading along your hips.
You scoffed, pushing at his chest; even if he did resemble a brick wall. "You're imagining things Howlett."
"Oh it's Howlett now huh?" He nipped at your jaw, smiling at your soft bubble of laughter that burrowed its way into the depths of his heart. "Thought you liked callin' me James."
The breath caught in your throat when his tongue slid along your throat, heat pooling in your stomach. "Logan," you sighed, fingers tangling in his hair to draw his face up.
"That's better," he growled, cupping your chin to connect his lips to yours.
The raw needy ache of last night reared its head in your body, screaming out for him as he licked into your mouth with a purr. One you felt reverberate through your chest and down to the very tips of your fingers. He was yours to kiss, yours to love, and without knowing it you managed to tame the lonesome Wolverine that begged for a hint of your affection.
"Can't fuckin' get enough of you," he mumbled against your neck, sucking at the tender skin as his hands kneaded at your ass. "Got me goin' feral honey."
"I don't mean to."
"I know." He pushed his hips into yours, dragging you along his jeans with a stuttered breath. "'M gonna fuck you."
Your eyes met his gaze—a pool of slick now staining the dark denim he leaked into. "Here?"
He nodded, teeth bared in a ravenous smile. "When you eat dinner here without me..." Tugging the flannel open, he sucked at the top of your breast. "You'll remember me bending you over this table."
No words could counter what he just uttered as if he was reading straight from a novel of your life. His hands guided you to turn around—your palms flat on the wood and breath heavy in your chest. The audible echo of his zipper sent a flare of want through your body. Slick now coating the inside of your thighs, dripping down for him to see the slight shine of it in the sunlight.
He grunted palm sliding along your cunt and jolting you with a shuddered breath. Though he'd already eaten—twice—he was intent on indulging in a dessert so sweet he would go to the grave thinking about it. His cock—hard and throbbing—slid along the lips of your cunt. Coating him in your slick with a soft puff of air that blew across the back of your neck.
"Press your cheek down for me honey," he said softly, hand gripping your neck and guiding you until your back had no choice but to curve—ass presented to him with a soft moan. "There we go. Lookin' like a damn goddess."
"Oh fuck-" you sighed, the ache between your legs now a searing burn that could only be put out by him.
"You want my cock?"
You nodded, a stray tear falling to the table. "I do."
He huffed, lips pressing to the shell of your ear. "Begging so sweetly for me. Can't believe you thought I'd leave willingly."
The comment was more for himself than you, but you mewled for him, hips pushing back into his until the head of his cock tapped your clit. Drawing a high pitched cry from your parted lips still shiny with his spit.
"Please," you gasped, nails scratching along the wood. You'd see the marks later and be placed back into this memory with a visceral shove. As he intended
"I know, I know."
Lining himself up, he pushed forward with a broken gasp—his face buried against your shoulder. The stretch was divine. Last night's pain dispersed the second he slid into you with one thrust, your walls clamping down around him tight enough to choke a moan from his throat. The breathy grunted fuck had your head spinning, another gush of slick pouring out of you until it leaked between you.
Yet he held himself there, panting against your back as his cock twitched inside you. Begging him to move. He gave you a moment to catch your breath, to find something in your mind to latch onto. Yet what remained when he already sent you to the stratosphere? What could you attach yourself to when you were floating above the clouds?
"Need you to move," you whined.
He kissed your ear, grinding against you with a rasped grunt. "So fucking tight bub. 'M tryin’ not to cum."
"But I want you to-"
Pulling back he thrust into you with a stunted shift of his hips—cutting off your words as you moaned. Your eyes rolled back when he began to move in earnest. His hips slapping against your ass and hand bunching the fabric of his flannel to pull you back along his cock. And you took it.
You were reduced to a moaning wet mess when he fucked into you with a growl. Searching for the place that would draw you over the edge with ease. The cry that wrenched from your throat—your body trembling in his grasp—told him he'd struck gold. A smile curved over his lips as he kept that angle. Thrusting into you with a needy growl you heard bounce off the cabinets and walls.
"That it?" His hand gripped your throat, pulling you up and off the table. "That's the spot huh bub."
A sob fell past your parted lips, tears spilling down your cheeks when his other hand found your clit—fingers pulling up the hood to press right against the nerve. A burning sensation began to build in your stomach. Unlike what transpired in the times before.
This felt like more. All encompassing and treacherous enough to split you right down the center.
Your fingers scrambled to clutch his wrist. Unable to discern if you wanted to push him away or keep him there.
Logan merely chuckled, going faster with ease. You choked on your spit, your knees buckling, but he merely clutched you tighter. Keeping you right where he wanted as he fucked you within an inch of your life. The wet squelch of his cock plunging into you only made the fire burn brighter. You swore you could feel the flames lick along your skin—eating you alive.
"Got no words for me honey?" he grunted, teeth biting at your jaw. "Don't tell me I fucked 'em all out of your head."
"Hngg-"
"What was that?"
Nails dug into his skin and a cracked sob ripped from your raw throat when you came. Your walls pulsing around him as something wet gushed down your thighs. It splattered against the table, causing Logan to feel as if all the breath was punched from his lungs. His fingers still moved, spreading the mess and pulling every last drop from your spent body.
Even as he fought to ram his cock into you without mercy—desperate for his own high. You whimpered with each shift of his hips, eyes squeezed shut and mouth open with gasped breaths. And Logan had never seen a prettier sight than this.
He felt his heart clench, breath aching for lungs, as he fucked you through it. Until your body sagged against his with a sigh—eyes fluttering open to reveal your dazed expression. His heart twisted at the sight, cock throbbing with a needy ache he could no longer ignore.
"Y-Your turn," you panted, reaching up with a shaky hand to draw his lips to yours.
"Yeah?" His hips shifted forward and your mouth dropped open. "You want me to fill you up honey?"
The quick nod was all he needed to start chasing the built up high that threatened to strangle him. But the shrill echo of your phone across the table killed him like a shot to his head. He bit back a snarl of rage when your eyes lazily dragged to the face down device. Your heart picking up speed at the thought of who might be trying to contact you.
"I can ignore it," you mumbled.
The temptation to murder whoever was on the other line built up like bile in the back of his throat. But like a better man, he swallowed it down with a grunt. Pulling himself free with a hiss as his cock slapped against his stomach—covered in the sticky white cream that was your cum and aching for a release that would have to come later.
"Might be your work." He tapped your ass, carefully placing himself back in his jeans with a pained grunt. "Go on bub. I'm okay."
A glimmer of disappointment flared to life in your eyes before you were answering without checking the screen. The soft hello barely audible over the rush of blood that blared in his ears. He knew he wouldn't die from this. But fuck if he didn't feel like his body might combust at the sensation of being edged so hard his chest hurt.
"Wade?"
His head whipped towards you—a look of blistering fury crossed his face as he ripped the phone from your grasp. "You motherfucker," he snarled.
"You should really fuck with your knees Log. Save that adamantium skeleton." His voice was light, cheerful, and Logan had never wanted to rip him to shreds more.
"Are you watching us?" Your eyes widened and before Wade could give a snarky response, you were facing the still open window.
Wade stood across the street in his living room, waving with a knife. "Gotta give you pointers peanut. I've never been so hard in my life."
"Oh god," you sighed, covering your face. You reached for the phone; Logan gave it over before he could crush it in his fist. "Wade!"
"Whoa sweet angel! Don't go screaming my name after your man just made you see Natasha Romanoff in the afterlife. Did you tell her I said hi by the way?"
"It's rude to spy on people Wade Winston Wilson." His face fell as Logan snickered behind you. "Now I want an apology. Or I'm calling Nessa."
Though you couldn't see him well, you caught the way his face paled. "Right. I'm sorry. I won't be a perv next time. Even if you do have your window open and are screaming Logan's name so loud they can hear you on Knowhere."
"I wasn't-"
"And for your information FYI, I didn't spy. I just happened to see him and you bent over a table and assumed." He smiled, toothy and proud. "Can't fault me for being right on the money."
In an attempt to control your breathing (so as not to ask Logan to cut off Wade's limbs) you smiled through the flicker of annoyance. He was your friend. The person who was there for you in times when you needed someone. You couldn't really stay mad at Wade—even if the actions did call for the anger.
Especially not when you were still in the throws of recovering from the greatest orgasm of your life.
"I'd say I could do better, but now I'm not so sure angel face. I think Logan's won this round."
Surprisingly, you laughed. "He definitely won this round."
Logan stepped in closer when he was mentioned—his head dipping to hear Wade's voice through the phone. Unconsciously you found yourself leaning into his warmth—your body seeking out the gentle aftercare from the man who held your heart in his hands. His arm went around your waist, lips placing a gentle kiss to your shoulder, and Wade groaned audibly in completely disgust.
"Would you get a room. God it's like watching an episode of WandaVision. Only this time it's the deleted scenes where they were allowed to actually fuck." He smiled, fingers forming a faux gun as he winked.
"We all know the robot dicking her down extravaganza exists Marvel. Don't lie."
"Your fault for peeking in on the show Wade," you replied, eyes fluttering shut as Logan fixed the flannel to cover as much of you as possible.
"I get it. I'm an unpaying customer. Therefore not wanted." He sighed, gesturing to no one in particular. "I mean what about those guys? They get a free show!"
"Wilson," Logan bit out, his claws sliding free to cover the top of your thighs.
Another weary (yet dramatic and totally Oscar worthy) sigh came through the phone. "I'll just dance the Lonesome Tango tonight. Don't mind me, taking all of the domesticity in so I can vomit."
You smiled when Logan nudged your cheek with his nose. "Goodnight Wade."
"Hardly good! Ness is out for the day and what about me? Don't I have needs? Am I not just a boy looking at the couple he's going to third wheel someday saying: please save some pancakes for me?"
The gasp that flew from your mouth was loud enough to be heard through the open window as Logan ripped the phone from your ear. Cussing out the man who stared at you with a Cheshire grin big enough to fill up an entire room. He waved, tossing his phone to the couch as he leaned out the window.
"Turns out you are gonna dance again peanut!"
Before you could shout a response, Logan was slamming the window shut with a growl. His claws slicing through the already fragile wood at the base of it as the lock slid into place. The middle finger he offered was all Wade got before Logan was dragging you back towards the bedroom; the decision to buy you some fucking curtains now solidified in his mind.
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"Favorite movie?"
He groaned, dragging your legs over his lap as you curled into his side. "I've been alive too fuckin' long to choose honey. Tell me yours."
A wince overtook your features as Logan ran his hand up and down your bare leg—his gaze determined to trace every detail of your face a thousand times over. Hoping that over time he'd find new things to fall in love with. New pieces of you he'd grow to cherish. He settled on the shape of your lips—watching them move with each words you spoke.
"Okay don't laugh at me. It's a good movie." You toyed with his fingers, thumb tracing the spaces between his knuckles where his claws broke the skin to come free. "The Mummy."
His eyebrows pulled together. "Isn't that the one where they...fight a fuckin' mummy?"
You nodded, laughter falling on his perked up ears. "Listen! She's a librarian who gets to go on an adventure and fall in love. I'm an archivist who...well meeting you has been an adventure and..."
You fell in love.
Saying the words out loud felt wrong. Misplaced. Yet you'd never felt something sit in your chest so perfectly and feel like it belonged. Love had always been a complicated formula that felt impossible to crack. After all, no real theory ever mixed well with something so convoluted.
But nothing else could possibly make the same amount of sense with you as those three words did.
Logan watched every thought cross your face; every problem you struggled with now on full display for him to see. He willed himself to say them aloud. To simply let them fall free and settle in your heart with ease. But the last person he said them to now hated his very existence. They held an entirely different heart yet wore the exact replica of your face.
That only seemed to complicate the matter further.
So he pressed a kiss to the space between your eyebrows until the skin smoothed, and pulled you out of the internal battle you seemed to be losing.
"Tell me about your family bub."
You perked up, eyes alight with the joy that lingered from hours before. "My sister?" He nodded. "Oh well she's a teacher. Works at a high-school in the city."
"Guess you were bound to have another teacher in your life huh?" His heart twisted when you laughed, your fingers curling into his hair—toying with the sides without even realizing it.
"I guess so." You sighed, settling against his body. "It's funny, because I'd have never met Wade if it wasn't for her. This used to be her place before she—ya know—got married and stuff. Wade actually sold her the car I borrowed the day I met you."
His hand traveled higher, slipping to the curve of your hip. "Sneaky little fucker," he muttered.
"Although I think nearly killing me in the street is what really made me like him."
Logan jolted, his hand pinching your chin to face him. "What the fuck do you mean nearly killing you?"
The smile on your face did nothing to appease the fresh wave of anger that filled his body. If anything he only felt it eat away at him faster. Like a parasite with no cure. You were so calm about the entire situation. So nonchalant as you explained to him what actually happened.
That alone terrified him.
What if one day something like this happened again? What if the person who would cause you harm was someone he couldn't save you from?
Dread weighed heavy on his stomach like a rock he never intended to swallow. Even as you spoke he could feel the way it pulled at him. Dragging him into a darkness he'd never escape. He endured it once before, swam to the shore and climbed his way out, but to lose you was to put an end to his existence in this universe.
Logan couldn't die.
But he'd sure as hell find a way to if you were no longer by his side.
"I know he didn't mean to almost hit me with his knife. He was aiming for the guy behind me." You placed a kiss on his wrist, right above his pulse point. "Anyways we laugh about it now. Wade calls it fate. And since I met you...I kinda feel like he's right."
The breath caught in his chest. "Honey you got no idea..."
Lips trailed up his arm, sending chills down his spine as you placed kiss after kiss along his body. Right to his chest. Your tongue licked along his nipple—sucking it into your mouth and drawing a stuttered moan from his parted lips. His cock twitched in his jeans, the lost orgasm from earlier now raring to life with each delicate brush of your mouth on his skin.
Scraping your teeth on his pec, he felt his hips shift in an effort to find even a brief second of relief. You smiled at the feeling of him hard and aching against your thigh.
"You didn't get to cum earlier," you murmured, kissing along his jaw, nose brushing his cheek. The slight brush of your hand dipping along his stomach and down into his jeans drew a ragged groan from his chest. "Fair's fair baby."
Soft skin of your palm met his still leaking cock and the surprise that flickered across your face at the knowledge that he'd been dripping all night for you turned his mind numb. His kiss seared your entire being as you stroked him slowly. Logan shoved his jeans down the best he could with you blocking his way, simply to feel your palm drag down his length to cup his balls still covered in your sticky cum.
A breathy whine you never heard before slipped past his lips—his head falling back when your mouth latched onto his throat. Teeth and tongue sucking a mark that would fade within seconds. But catching a glimpse of the purple bruise made your heart flutter.
The wet slide of your hand filled the room with each pump. His hips canted up into your fist, fucking the slick hole you formed around him with panted grunts of nonsensical words.
It didn't build steadily like before where he held the capability of holding out. Now he felt helpless to the burn that forced its through his veins. The tension pulling taut in his stomach.
Only for you to pull away.
"W-What?" he rasped, his eyes flying open to see how you fell back on the bed—fingers popping open the shirt button by button.
"Come here," you breathed, hooking your foot around his hip. "Don't you wanna fuck my face baby?"
His mind went blank. Eyes dazed and mouth open as he watched you smile up at him—mischief shining bright in your gaze. You were an angel sent from who knows where bestowed upon him like a gift. An apology for all he'd gone through.
If the light he saw as he took his last breath was your face, he'd die a happy man.
Beckoning him forward with your hand on his thigh, Logan knelt above your chest. He could see how you longed for him to press weight against you—the feel of your palm against his ass telling him enough. But risking it would never be an option. He knew how much his skeleton as a whole weighed; you would not survive five seconds of it atop your body entirely.
"So pretty," you cooed, wrapping a hand around his cock as he shuddered. "Can I taste you Logan?"
He nodded dumbly, hand cupping the top of your head to keep himself grounded. Only for his soul to leave his body at the feel of your lips sucking him in. The wet heat of your mouth felt like a death to his heart. He'd never recover.
Yet one truth remained ingrained in the back of his mind.
He didn't want to survive.
"Fuck," he breathed, canting his hips down and into your waiting mouth.
The second his tip brushed the back of your throat, Logan knew he'd never last. He was a man lost in the depths of your body. Finding his way back to himself was never an option. You suckled on him with a whimper, letting him slowly thrust into your mouth as your fingers dug into the flesh of his ass.
Moans fell from his mouth with ease; words eventually following suit. "You fuckin' like this huh? You like me sitting on your face?"
Another muffled sound vibrated against his cock. His balls began to draw up slightly—thighs practically numb with the pleasure that consumed him. He sunk deeper, fucking your throat with a wet gasp, his body curving over yours and hand pressing to the mattress for stability.
"Fuck your mouth is heaven." He panted through the flames that licked at his spine, fighting to stay with you. "Gonna make a mess of you."
A jolt of lightning echoed across his skin when your hand slipped between his legs to fondle his balls, massaging the tender skin as tears dripped down into your hair. Whatever sanity he held left would wither away with the tendrils of his oncoming orgasm. But this isn't how he wanted to finish.
Ripping himself away, you barely got out half a question of what he was doing, before you were yanked into his lap—his tongue invading your mouth in a messy kiss. Spit spread across his cheek, but you seemed to get the hint when he grinded up into your dripping cunt.
"I promised to fill ya honey," he grunted, guiding your hand to wrap around his pulsating cock. "I don't break my promises."
With a sigh of his name pressed to his mouth, you guided him to your entrance, sinking down slowly to engulf him into your throbbing walls. A rough noise tore from his throat at the feeling—his body barely giving him enough time to comprehend that he'd been on the edge for far longer than he realized.
"Shit!" His thumb found your clit, working you over with quick circles that had your body curving into his. "'M not gonna last. Need you to fuckin' cum for me bub."
"Let go," you mumbled, dragging yourself up and off his cock. Only to sit back down hard enough to make him go blind. "Fill me up baby. Make it spill out."
His teeth set into your shoulder, claws sinking into your already ruined mattress to steady himself. He clutched you to him with a hoarse shout of your name as he came. Rope after rope of his spend spurted into your waiting body, drawing a soft breathy moan out from your swollen lips. You held him close, lips sliding along his neck, and talked him through it.
"Thank you baby," you sighed, grinding your hips along his lap. "Feels so good. So warm."
The lilt of your words bled with the adoration you felt for him in the center of your chest. The fact that you didn't finish didn't feel necessary when you had him like this. Entirely wrapped around you—face pressed into your chest and soul desperate to brush against yours.
"One of these days I'm gonna die like this bub."
You smiled, dragging your lips along his temple. "Would that be so bad?"
"Mm." Teeth scraped your skin as he slowly fell back onto the bed, taking you with him. "Probably not."
What lingered in the space between was a silence you reveled in. A peaceful kind of calm that created a bubble of warmth for the both of you to exist. Not completely in the world, yet never out of it entirely.
His body practically overheated beneath your skin, but you didn't mind the closeness. In fact, you found that you craved that above everything else. How he held you, allowed you to see the soft side of him that would normally be withheld.
This was the memory you'd hold close to your heart over the years. The one that'd always remain to give you a sense of peace in an otherwise crazy world.
"I'm really happy I met you Logan." The words weren't exactly what you wanted to say. But they felt close enough to exhibit the same emotion—the one that clawed at your heart, looking for a way to break free.
He hummed, dragging a hand down your spine. "Me too honey."
Settling atop him fully, you rested your ear where you knew his heart lay beneath layers of muscle and a cage of adamantium. The steady beat lulled you into a tranquil state. Where time no longer felt real and comfort became your only option.
Oh how you longed to remain here with him. Bound to nothing and no one, but each other.
note: i'm so sorry for what's about to befall these two.
471 notes · View notes
prodbymaui · 2 years ago
Text
Oops, Baby (I Love You) — 정재현.
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I take this magnetic force of a man to be my lover
PAIRING: jeong jaehyun x reader
GENRE: modern royalty ; arranged marriage
WORD COUNT: 12.5k+ words
WARNINGS: heavy alcohol consumption, mentions of sleeping pills, food play, oral sex, dirty talks. (the whole fic is romcom slash very fluffy, the only nasty thing here is the smut scene)
SYNOPSIS: you had been living your life as a rebellious and controversial crown princess, now you must face the consequence of purifying your tainted image; marrying the gentle and infamous crown prince of South Korea.
PLAYLIST: Do you hear my heart?
A/N: after weeks of depression episodes what do you call them), I finally got the strength to finish this bad bitch lmao. I know you guys have been waiting so I hope you'll leave your thoughts after? anyways, happy reading!
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Everything is spinning and everyone is either two or three. You don't know how much alcohol you've drank but certainly it was enough for you to stumble your way out of the bar, looking for somewhere to puke your guts out.
The intense nausea is already too much for your fucked up body system to accommodate, but the gods and deities thought it's not enough and it'll be perfect if you trip continuously on your Celine Truffle Pointed Heels, possibly damaging it more than you've done to your other shoes. The mask to hide your face is not helping as well.
Someone bumps your side and due to your drunken state, you lose your balance and break one of the heels, sending you to dive to your side. Your eyes shut close as you brace yourself for a painful slam but it never comes. Instead you meet a firm chest hidden underneath a black dress shirt and 2 layers of silver necklaces.
Looking up, through your hazy vision, you see pursed lips and palms up, as if avoiding touching you anywhere. As you step to regain your balance, you trip once again and like a deja vu, the man only lets you use his shoulders and chest to support yourself but never lets his hands touch you.
''You might want to get off of me, Ms…?''
Hearing that voice, a strange sense of familiarity and longing surge to your heart, engulfing it and squeezing it. As if to say, remember it.
''...heart.'' Why is my heart aching?
The man pulls away and observes you, sighing. He clears his throat. ''Sorry, Heart.''
His figure walking away is the last thing you see before your vision blacks out with no guarantee of you being able to recall the events that took place tonight.
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Utmost disappointment. Series of distasteful comments. Disapproving reactions. Surely, these aren't the usual feelings of the people towards the soon-to-be-queen of their country but it has been the weekly routine for the people of yours to criticize their sole princess.
''Strip her off the royal titles–! Are these people out of their mind?!'' Your squeal that comes close to a banshee rings across the whole entirety of the bedroom.
''Excuse them, they take after their princess.'' Hiding her giggles behind a fist, Winter scrambles off the bed as you aim to strangle her fragile neck.
Barely dodging your deathly grips by an inch, Winter's yelps bounces off the walls continuously, followed by your irritated shrieks and threatening hands ready to crush your best friend. The chase eventually dies down with the two of you panting, catching your breaths. You pull her short brown locks one last time before jumping on the bed, face down. Winter does the same and lands next to you, arms draping over each other.
A knock disrupts the peaceful atmosphere that engulfs the room, pulling you out of your slumber trance. You knew the pattern of the knock too well. It is practiced by all royal staff to ensure politeness and great manners whenever they are surrounded by royalties and VIPs. Included in training  as per the Queen's request.
The door opens and it reveals a female servant. This one's not yours, judging by the blue brooch. ''Good evening, Your Highness. Ms. Kang wishes to see you in her office right now and orders me to fetch you.''
''And why is that?''
''She said nothing, Ma'am.''
That earns a boisterous laugh from your best friend, alongside a series of claps. ''Goodluck on hearing an hour of scolding, girl.''
Winter sends you a 'fighting' gesture. You give her your middle finger.
The trip to the advisor's office takes a few minutes as the private chambers of the royal members are at the east wing while gatherings, some royal duties, and part where it is open for the public are dealt with at the west side of the palace. You're still not mentally prepared when the wooden entrance makes its way for you. As your eyes meet the pair of the royal advisor, you know you should've prepared yourself much better.
''Good evening, Your Highness. Please do take a seat.''
Albeit it's probably showing on the courtesy of your eyebrows, you still cover your scoff with a cough under your breath. ''Drop the politeness, Eunhye. I don't need it.''
Eunhye removes the newspaper that serves as a hindrance for you to see her expression, and there you spot the disapproving look on her face. You shrug inwardly. What's new? You suppose people in their late 30s are quite uptight. Or it's just your former babysitter.
Kang Eunhye used to play with you a lot during your childhood whenever you and your friends didn't have a playdate. You should've known she was going to take up her late mother's position when Eunhye often disappeared after the death of the former royal advisor. That was when she started changing and became more strict with you.
''You don't need it, you say? Good. Because I don't perceive it as necessary when I tell you Her Majesty had gone haywire by yet another scandal of her sole heir that she asked me to not let you out of the palace if it's not for your studies or royal duties.''
''–what?! That's absurd!''
''Oh I think it's a light punishment for a scandal involving participating in a brawl, breaking the nose of a commoner and almost ending up in jail. Mind you, this happened in front of a controversial bar! And to top it all off, it hasn't been a week since you were caught sleeping in the streets because your drunk ass couldn't help yourself up!''
You scratch your head. ''...well, if the bodyguards came–''
''They would've if you didn't switch clothes with a random woman and make them follow her thinking it was you! Do you know they got suspended and will not receive a portion of their salary because of what YOU did? It's only because of the King that they were spared from getting fired.''
''Not my fault that the guards you hired were fools and easily deceived. They should've recognized my figure even with different clothes.''
''They are bodyguards. Not your devoted fans–,'' Eunhye sighs. ''Your Highness.''
A moment of silence travels along the soundwaves of the room decorated with blue.
''Okay…? What do you want me to do, then? Public appearances? Press conference?''
Eunhye, knowing her ways, will probably advise you to address the issue, apologize for the things that you don't even regret to pacify the netizen. And because they most likely (definitely) won't buy your fake ass apology statement and continue to terrorize you on social media, your schedule will be packed with attending public events to show your 'genuineness'.
You've done this routine more times than the royal court approves so you know what to expect. In fact, you already have a few suggestions ready on which events will possibly dust bits of dirt on your name. You know this like the back of your hand.
The Queen enters. ''No.''
Apparently, you don't..? 
The moment your mother opens her mouth, you feel as if a myriad of buckets of icy water washes over you.
''You will marry a gentleman with a clean image. By then, you will be seen with great influence and garner people's love.''
Once. Twice. You slap yourself three more times but you don't wake up from this nightmare. Winter only looks at you pitifully while chewing her steak.
''Darling, would you please stop hurting yourself?'' A lovable tone is evident from the King's voice, accompanied by a concerned stare.
You sigh but the stabs of your fork through your own steak doesn't stop. ''Marry a gentleman.. I can't fucking believe this.''
''Language.'' The Queen says firmly. ''I apologize for getting ahead of you. I suppose you don't fancy a gentleman?''
''You apologize for assuming my preference but not for taking away my freedom..?''
''Do you wish to marry a lady, then?''
Silence fills the table. You sigh. ''Honestly? Anything would be fine.''
Your mother mums. ''Very well, then. You will be meeting your fianceé in 3 days–''
''–as long as I get to choose who I am marrying.''
''That won't be possible. The person needs to have the most influence and power among your age. The gender will be the only thing we can let you choose.''
''You don't have problems with having a queer princess?''
The Queen frowns. ''Of course, why would we? It is neither a crime nor a sin.''
Your father then nods. ''The royal court fully supports it since two decades ago.''
''But not the 'choosing your own lover'?'' You can only shake your head. You turn to the maid nearby. ''Please bring this to my room, I'll eat there instead.''
Everyone watches you in silence. No one at the table dares to scold you for your behavior.
''She has the rights to be upset this time.'' The King comments.
''Yes, she does.'' The Queen agrees.
Winter warily looks around, pursing her lips as she raises her hand. ''Uhm.. Your Majesty?''
''Yes, Lady Minjeong?''
Winter winces at the mention of her government name. ''As your daughter's best friend, will it be possible for me to know who she'll be marrying?''
Smiling, the King snaps his finger. ''Ah.. let's see if the future lover would pass the best friend's vibe check.''
His husband sends him a curt glance. ''Don't ever try to use generational phrases, it doesn't suit you. Back to Lady Minjeong, yes, it is possible. Would you like to know now?''
''A-already? I thought you're still looking through the profiles?''
''We have tons of staff, Lady Minjeong.''
''Right, I forgot about that.'' Winter sheepishly smiles.
''I'll excuse myself then. I have an appointment with a VIP in an hour, I have to go.'' Just as the husband and wife head towards the exit of the dining hall, the Queen turns. ''It is Prince Jaehyun of South Korea. A good man and the best one for the princess.''
''None on twitter. Nadda on instagram. Nothing on their official website. Heck, there's not even a single picture on google! Does this Prince Jaehyun even exist?'' Winter exclaims as she continues to scroll on her phone.
Frowning, you throw a pillow in her direction. ''Let the others hear your whining and they'll think you have a crush on my soon-to-be-fianceé. Why are you so interested in him?''
''Well, duh! You're literally marrying him, that's enough reason for me to get curious! The question here is why are YOU not interested?''
''I'm more interested in that man at the bar.''
''You should give some! This is the person you'll be spending your life with we're talking about!''
Scoffing, you tug the ends of her hair. ''Will you stop saying I'll marry him? The engagement will be called off sooner than mom and dad can even realize it's coming.''
Winter gasps dramatically and shots up to sit. ''What if it's some old man with a stinky smell and white hair? Oh my god what if Her Majesty agreed to marry you off to some ugly ass 50 year old man for the sake of the country's betterment?!''
Threatening to punch her if she doesn't stop with the overthinking, Winter zips her mouth as she decides to scroll on her phone once again.
You sigh. ''Pretty sure, Mom wouldn't do that, right? I mean she said something about being the best out of the people among our age so..''
''Huh, look at this.''
Winter crawls to you from the part of the she is lying, hands careful not to swipe her screen and risk refreshing the page. You squint your eyes to see.
PANN:
Crown Prince Jaehyun Once Again Stuns The People Of South Korea With His Amazing Visuals.
[ +217, -5 ] It's a shame that we're not allowed to post a photo of him on the internet. How am I supposed to stare at his face for a long time then? How am I supposed to appreciate and share his beauty?
[ +190, -3 ] Daebak! The royal family just visited our village and the rumors weren't lying when they said Prince Jaehyun is handsome ahwksjskww. He's like a walking statue!
[ +165, -20 ] I would die for a man like Prince Jaehyun. Very gentleman and polite. One time, I was with my niece when I met him and the youngest prince in a mall. My niece really wanted the toy car but Prince Jaehyun and Prince Jaemin got the last one before use but they still gave it to my niece.
[ +132, -56 ] Heol ㅋㅋㅋ Of course he would say that, he has an image to keep up! Royalties would try to polish their personalities in public often because they can't afford to lose the trust of the people. It's so fucking dumb how you think the prince acts that way because that just how he is and not because he has an image to take care of.
[ +122, -13 ] The comment above lolol. You're just jealous that the prince has everything you don't; looks, manners, and brains ㅋㅋㅋ
[ +84, -7 ] I don't think Prince Jaehyun does it because people are watching him. I've seen him lecture Prince Jaemin about how he shouldn't expect to get what he wants every time and mind you no one was inside our store that time as our store isn't quite popular so he couldn't be doing it for his image. I feel like Prince Jaehyun is genuine!
[ +65, -5 ] Didn't a lot of people see him wearing clothes with no brands? And that he has a good relationship with the youngest prince? Idk about you but I'd say that speaks a lot about him.
[ +52, -3 ] I've met Prince Jaehyun a lot of times, the only thing I could say is; 'Ultimately Prince-Like'! Handsome and tall, like he's written by Taylor Swift ㅋㅋㅋ. Prince Jaehyun is a dream *three heart emojis*
As you read over the first comment again, the curve on your forehead only deepens. They are not allowed to post a photo of their prince? Then, that would explain the lack of appearance of the royalty everywhere on social media. This pricks your interest. 
''That's a bit.. odd. They forbid any pictures of that prince from getting uploaded.''
''I know right! It's strange. Why would they hide the prince's face if he's truly handsome like the people said?''
You suck the top of your teeth. ''Maybe he's actually ugly and those that say otherwise were paid people. Or probably royal staffs ordered to spread some good words about their prince.''
''Why are you so hell-bent in making him ugly? Can't accept that your parents actually chose someone handsome, rich, and has good personality?''
Shaking your head, you wave your hand dismissively. Oh how you wish you could swipe off that annoying smirk on Winter's face. Is there a rule saying a princess can escape any law including those that involves unaliving a certain daughter of a duke? Hopefully, there is!
If, miraculously, your parents bring that man from the bar to you and arrange him to a marriage with you, maybe then you'll agree to tie up the knot at such a young age. In fact, you might even drop down to your knees and serve him–
The alcohol, or lack thereof, is definitely not good for you.
With the news of your engagement being released plus the anger from the people that is far from dwindling anytime soon, Winter didn't think twice to join you when the idea of getting drunk comes up. There's nothing better than drowning yourself in alcohol after constantly having to deal with the disappointed people of your country.
However, the night is just near getting young when your personal bodyguards dragged you and your best friend out of the bar. It is said that the royal advisor ordered them to do so but your mother was the root. It angered you to the core. They took your freedom of marrying someone you truly love and now, they're depriving you of coping with it as well? How controlling.
Winter was sent home right after both of you got howled back to the royal car. A couple of warnings from the Duke to his daughter and you know something is off. 
Winter's father isn't one to indulge himself in his daughter's vices. Sure, he keeps tabs on her every now and then but the Duke of Boryeong never attempts to control Minjeong as if some kind of robot, lest he suffers from the wrath of Duchess of Boryeong.
You could only wish your own parents did the same. Maybe they will. If you beg for a couple of days in front of the palace while dawning your white hanbok like those korean historical films that Winter likes to watch.
Shutting the car door close, you pass a whisper of 'thank you' to the driver before striding inside the palace. There aren't many people aside from those guarding the entrance which is why you don't find the need to be extra careful on your way. Being free from the shackles of aches caused by your heels is the only thing on your mind.
Just as you turn a corner, straight down the hall that leads to the dining area– you collide with someone. It'll send you a few steps backwards if it's not for the grip on your blazer. Your vision clearing takes a couple of seconds, courtesy of being tipsy from your previous activity.
''Is everything alright?'' A rather soothing yet deep voice asks you, hands already back on his sides.
Your attention diverts to the man that steadies you. Sharp cheekbones in contrast to the soft jawline, almond eyes, and a slightly chapped lips. You wonder if they're naturally pink or the color comes from cosmetic products.
''Your Highness–'' Eunhye appears out of thin air and your bodies separate right as the royal advisor sets her eyes on you. 
Your Highness? Who could this be?
''Ah, I see, you've met each other already. Shall we take this to the dining..? Her Majesty awaits alongside the King and Queen of South Korea.''
No words are exchange between you. Silence fills the air. Clicking of heels appearing every now and then until they reach where your parents and the leaders of South Korea chatters. Everyone stands before their seats at the sight of two crown heirs.
You might be rebellious but no way you're gonna forget the basic manners each person should possess. Doing a brief curtsy, you earn a loving smile from the Queen of South Korea. It radiates warmth and comfort. 
The man beside you does a bow as well that makes his body fold to a 90 degrees. It was too formal for your liking. Too ancient royalty. Too prince-like. So this is what the mysterious prince of South Korea looks like. Somehow, it irks you to the bones.
Gritting your teeth, you sit at the right side of your father after exchanging pleasantries. Each person that occupies the seats of the table starts to dig in as they begin to discuss the matter which you assume is about your issue.
You thought you could go through this dinner in peace until the conversation, courtesy of your mother, diverts to you.
''I've seen the news but it doesn't bother me at all. The princess is merely having fun, just like those around her age do. I, myself, have gone through that phase. '' Queen Miyoung laughs softly. ''The Crown Princess is only at the wrong place, at the wrong time. We used to get in trouble for sneaking out often before as well, isn't that right?''
With the amount of times you've gotten snapped by the paps and you were caught doing shits that is considered inappropriate behavior for a royalty like you— surely, it's not a coincidence anymore. Ever since your first scandal came up, the media that follows your every step doubles. They are always hungry for a headline. And you cannot deny the fact that you're giving them a reason to use you as one.
Your mother reciprocates her friend's chuckles, shaking her head as they recall their memories during when they were your age. Surprisingly, there's a relief inside you. Well, at least the Queen of South Korea doesn't think you're a defect in the royal family.
''I think the wild-like personality of our dear perfectly contrasts the gentle and tame personality of Prince Jaehyun, which is a charming point that the people will eventually love once they got to know about this marriage.'' Your mother adds. 
Balling up your fist, you had to bite the insides of your cheeks to prevent your eyes from rolling.
''Oh absolutely!'' Queen Miyoung places a hand on her son's shoulder, a smile once again appearing on her captivating features. ''My son here is known in our country as someone who is compassionate, emphatic, and humble. Talented on top of that as well!''
Adoration paints your mother's face. ''So I've heard. I feel assured that someone like Prince Jaehyun will be taking care of my daughter.''
''Please, Your Majesty, you can just call me Jaehyun.''
The velvety voice swoons the hearts of the Queen. ''Alright, alright. My heart is beaming at the thought of having you as my son-in-law soon, Jaehyun.''
What the hell? What did this Jaehyun do for him to gain the favor of those around him? Even your father is nodding and smiling in approval as he shares a conversation with this insufferable prince! 
''Humor me, Jaehyun.'' Your father speaks. ''What do you do as a hobby?''
Probably plan how he can convince everyone with that fake ass personality lol.
Jaehyun pats the napkin on his lips before replying. ''Not much, Sir. I indulge myself in music instruments and sometimes, I also sing for fun.''
Did he do his research? That's your father's favorite pastime!
''Ah, singing! If you didn't know, that's one of the things I like the most especially if I'm consumed with boredom.''
Your mother nods. ''Catch him singing while signing papers at his office. Or while feeding our dogs.''
Chuckles blooms on the table.
''Maybe if we have enough time, you could sing for us?'' Your mother suggests as the others agree. 
Jaehyun shakes his head with a fist hiding his smile. ''I'm not great at singing but I'll make sure to prepare once that time comes.''
Acting humble now, eh? He doesn't have to prepare because you'll make sure that time won't come. The skin on your forehead creases even before you could stop it. This is stressing you out more than you anticipated.
Deciding to release your stress on something else, you proceed to harshly cut your Sole Meuniére with the knife prepared by the kitchen staff all the while pursing your lips. Poor innocent Mr. Fish, suffering from the wrath of a princess.
Operation: Stopping the wedding! Step 1, do things that will turn him off. Forking the sea creature's meat, you make sure to chew extra loudly, looking straight at Jaehyun's eyes as you open your mouth every now and then while munching. Surely, anyone would grimace at the sight of chewed fish meat inside one's mouth and at the sound it makes.
Anyone, Prince Jaehyun not included. You slow down the movement of your jaw when the man only sports a brief squint of his eyes before turning away, as if he didn't see the disgusting view you just showed him. Is he not disgusted? Hah! Maybe this is how he actually chews when there's no people around so he's not bothered by it. That's right!
You nod subtly at the voices in your head, gulping the food down when it starts to feel a little weird on your tongue. Reaching for the glass of water, you sip the liquid to tend your throat.
''So about the wedding next week–''
The people gasp, your father standing up from his seat. Series of coughing sounds emit from you as you pat your chest continuously.
''I'm sorry– the water went down the wrong pipe.'' You face towards the other way while massaging your throat, your back getting tapped by your father.
What were they thinking, mentioning that fucking wedding while eating? What if you die from choking? Far-fetched, but you don't cross out the possibilities anyway.
Clearing your throat, you give them a smile after fixing yourself. ''Did I hear it right? The wedding is next week? Isn't that quite fast? We're not chasing a due date here. Plus, we haven't even announced an engagement yet. I'm sure the people will be shocked if I'm suddenly married or engaged in just a matter of days. I suggest prolonging the engagement for– let's say.. a month? I think that would be realistic enough.''
King Jaekyung sends you a grin. ''Dear, your engagement is trending on social media platforms as we speak.''
''W-what?''
You quickly fish out your phone. You don't even have to search either your name or Jaehyun's because an article about your engagement pops up the moment the app loads.
JUST IN: The Crown Princess Revealed To Be Engaged To The Crown Prince of South Korea
After getting involved in numerous issues, the Crown Princess had dropped off the limelight for a few days only to surprise us with an amazing news. According to the exclusive interview held two days ago, Her Highness shyly reveals that the reason for her disappearance on the radar is because a certain man snatches her focus with a shiny ring!
The princess happily shares that she and Prince Jaehyun, Crown Prince of South Korea, have been in a healthy relationship for 4 years now and still going strong. During the early months of dating, the two royalties express their worries about causing an unnecessary ruckus and heartbreaks if they ever go through a break up. According to Her Highness, a stable relationship wasn't exactly guaranteed as they live in different countries and have heavy responsibilities as the future leaders which is why they avoided letting the people know about their romance until they are sure that they can handle the consequences all at once.
''The country had been experiencing some serious issues back then so when Jaehyun and I started to get in touch, we decided not to make it public immediately. Not only were we just starting but we also didn't want to stir another headline if we ever broke up. We were teenagers 4 years ago, we were kids. We know that we are bound to make mistakes but as the future leaders of our countries, adding our childish break up to the countries' problems isn't something that we desire. Thankfully though, our relationship stayed strong and sturdy. There were a few fights here and there, of course, but Jaehyun and I remained understanding with each other. Those years were the reason why I didn't hesitate to say yes when he proposed to me. It was just the two of us, no cameras, no media, no other people. Saying this might be off to some but I was glad that only the both of us got to witness it. As someone who lives in front of the camera and prying eyes, we enjoyed the privacy and intimacy we had during the proposal. We initially didn't plan to have our wedding soon but we figured that there's no point in prolonging what's been a long time coming. Our love kept us intact throughout the years and until now, I could say that I'm still very much and deeply falling in love with him.'' said the Crown Princess.
Furthermore, Prince Jaehyun also shared that one of the reasons that he hid his face was to protect his relationship with his future lover, now Crown Princess. Show more…
''I don't– I don't remember getting interviewed for this...''
The Queen massages your shoulder. ''That's the power of influence, love.''
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A shrieking scream jostles Winter in her bed despite being on the other line. Rubbing her ears, Winter felt as if her eardrums got busted just now. She munches on her cookies while she waits for you to be finished with all your screaming and throwing angry punches at the poor teddy bear beside your pillows.
The screeching stops. You look at Winter through the screen of your phone. ''Humor me.''
Eyes boring to you, she didn't stop licking the crumbs that were left on her fingers. ''What is it?''
''Making up stories about my supposed relationship with that man was one thing, but seriously? Telling the whole country I'm still fucking falling in love? Deeply even!''
You hear your bestfriend giggle. ''You think them making everyone think you're smitten with a man is worse than creating fake ass stories about your love life?''
''Well, Isn't it?''
''You're unbelievable.''
''Tell me something I don't know.'' Getting off your bed, you head out of the room. ''Anyways, text you later.'' Blowing her a kiss, the call ended just as you jog down the stairs.
It's been three days since you last saw that prince and those days might be the happiest of your entire life, sans the nags from your mom to get closer with that twat. For a few suns, you've surprisingly experienced peace.
However, it didn't last a long time. It seems like when God precipitated a rain of misfortunes, you were in the middle– swimming in it. Instead of peacefully staying at the palace just like you had always done, you received the news saying you'll move to a place– an apartment. And you received it through waking up one day and seeing them packing your things without even asking your permission. You were asking yourself whether it's real, or it's just a figment of your imagination as sleep still buzzed in your veins.
Now, what's so unfortunate about having your own place? Jeong Jaehyun, is what's unfortunate. You won't forget that infuriating smirk that he sports as he watches you glare at the boxes in the living room, boring holes in them. Complaints start to spill out of your mouth in a whisper despite being in the same space with him in just a matter of an hour.
Dividing the closet and choosing bedrooms is a nightmare. Everyone knows you've got things enough for 3 people, including your heels collection. Storing your possessions requires a big space, but Jeong Jaehyun thought it was a great idea to upped you and place his stupid rubber shoes (or sneakers) collections first without leaving any space for your heels.
Jaehyun stands by the door, leaning on the frame with his arms crossed as he witnesses you turn into some kind of witch, casting different spells, desperate to cast his annoying ass away. It's so comical that it had Jaehyun's shoulder shake as he stifles his laugh. A witch with a collection of heels? Truly, one of a kind.
''Let's split them, Jeong. You take the right side, I'll take the left.''
''No can do.''
''The fuck? Are you expecting me to leave my babies on the floor?''
Jaehyun quirks a brow. ''What's so bad about that? I'm sure your 'babies' will not mind where they are placed, nonetheless.''
''Well, I do!''
The prince turns his heels, but before walking away, he looks at you over his shoulder. ''Learn to take a no, witch.''
''W–what? A fucking what? Hey! Jeong, you jerk– get back here and repeat what you said! Oh you piece of– you did not just say what I heard you said.''
Needless to say, the night ended with you cackling like the devil you are in your room while Jaehyun stays at the kitchen, pressing a cold compress to his skin, hissing. This should go away by tomorrow, or he wouldn't be able to explain how he got a faint mark of slippers on his forehead. Prepare a protective gear if he wants to taunt a witch, Jaehyun notes.
Operation: Stopping the wedding! Step 2, piss the fuck out of him like he does to you.
Being the menace that he is, Jeong made it his daily errand to annoy the hell out of you. His day wouldn't go by without doing things that ticks you off so much you just wish something important would come up in Korea so Jaehyun would be obligated to leave your country and magically stay there for good. 
Example no.1, the cookies you baked for yourself.
''Jeong, where's the cookies?''
''What cookies?''
''The ones in the tray. On the countertop.''
''I don't know no cookies.''
The crumbs on the corner of his lips says otherwise. You waited for half an hour to eat that!
''You– Jeong!!''
Example no.2 followed not long after. You were running late for a hang out with Winter as you couldn't find your today's pick of pair of heels. No, you wouldn't leave this apartment until you find that very pair. Your outfit won't look put together if you wear a different one.
A quarter before 9 PM, you still haven't found the shoes. Did you perhaps leave it at the palace? That couldn't be! You swear you saw it yesterday. Going back and forth to the walk-in closet, living room, and your bedroom– you're this close to tearing your hair apart and turning the whole apartment upside down.
Your phone pings and displays Winter's message. ''Fuuuck, where did I put that?''
Washing your hands over your face, you tilt your head upwards as you let out an exasperated sigh, stomping your feet in annoyance. When you open your eyes, you see the shoes you had been looking for the past 30 minutes. At the ceiling. Where the broken ceiling fan used to be.
How the hell did that even get— You recall seeing Jaehyun standing on a ladder this morning, saying something about fixing the fan.
''JEONG JAEHYUN, YOU FUCKER!!''
Boisterous laughter echoes from the bastard's room.
You still haven't recovered from the heels incident when example no.3 shows itself.
Hammered from drinking all night long after getting your hands on your shoes, you are swaying and tripping as you reach the apartment, slurring your nonsensical words. You don't know how, but you got home safely anyway. A hangover was expected yet it is harsher than you thought it would be.
''Ah fuck..'' You hold your pounding head.
Heading towards the kitchen, you fend your drying throat some water. Washing yourself is not on the list as you change out of your black bodycon dress and fit yourself into an oversized hoodie and sweatpants. You jog out of the building after fighting the urge to throw up the elevator and arrive at the convenience store in no time, your breath that reeks of alcohol be damned.
Picking up a few items for your hangover didn't take long, the cashier is already punching them a few minutes upon your arrival.
''You..''
You bore your eyes to the cashier. ''Yes?''
''...Nothing, Ma'am.'' He then proceeds to tell you the total of what you bought.
There's no further exchange between the two of you after that, so when you get your plastic bag, you walk back to your apartment. As you prepare yourself some cup noodles, you tilt your head, tsking.
Is it just you or the cashier has been giving you some looks? You might be suffering from a headache but pretty sure, you're sober enough to notice the subtle glances the cashier has been giving you. Did you do something stupid again last night? But Eunhye would be calling you first in the morning if you did. Maybe he recognizes your face? The country's princess' face is plastered everywhere. 
''Whatever. Why am I even thinking about it?'' Ever since the engagement, you noticed that you became more cautious in your actions. The streets say the lioness got tamed by a prince. You say you just learned your lesson not to underestimate your mother's punishments.
Staring at your food, your bladder got triggered at the sight of the soup. Peeing what's probably the alcohol in your system, you stand before the sink to wash your hands. And when you look up, you feel an overwhelming surge of emotion.
You are shocked. You are angry. You want to hide yourself from embarrassment. You want to punch the wall. And on top of that, you desire to unalive a royalty, preferably a crown prince that comes from South Korea.
A smile that appears to stretch the ends of your lips. A massive black dot on your nose and cheeks. Two big horns at the top of your eyebrows.
''JEONG JAEHYUN YOU ARE FUCKING DEAD!!''
There were a lot of pranks that Jaehyun had played, with big ones not failing to show up each week. Hiding your charger. Stealing your snacks. Mismatching your socks. And many more that ruin your day so often that the second thing you'd do after waking up is checking for the prank that the prince had done for the day. You are frustrated. And it's not like you to let these kinds of things pass without getting back. This time, you're making sure he'll order to stop the wedding and regret messing with you.
Shuffling in her bed, Winter huffs. ''What do you want?''
''Help me curate a list of the most infuriating pranks.''
Your best friend frowns. ''What for? Are you turning to a kid now? Or perhaps, you're..'' Then she gasps. ''You're carrying a kid?!''
''..The fuck?'' How did she even come up with that conclusion?
''Isn't that what happens when two people who hate each other's guts live under the same roof? Like enemies to lovers!''
You scoff. ''I told you to stop watching kdramas.''
''I'm Korean, duh!'' Winter rolls her eyes. ''Don't forget I'm still upset you took a long time before telling me you literally moved in with your fianceé.''
''Well now you know, and I'm asking for help so I could escape this hellhole.''
''Wait– so you're telling me to suggest pranks in order for you to move out? How does pranking even equals to that?''
Giving her a bored stare, you click your tongue. ''I'll piss the hell of out him, he won't be able to sleep properly at night.''
Winter squeaks. ''You're pranking the prince–?!''
''Yeah, no shit. Who else would it be?''
''Never thought I'd to live the day I'll see you getting on prank wars with your fianceé.''
''Yadda yadda. Just help me with it, please.'' Winter fake gags as she watches you bat your eyes at her.
''Promise me when you get in trouble, my name won't get drag.''
''You're my ride or die, though..''
''...''
''...''
''...Fine.''
''Yay!!''
Jaehyun passes the clock a glance. He's up early so he doesn't have to worry about getting late to his appointment for the day. His footsteps ring from his bedroom, eventually transfering to the kitchen. Just as Jaehyun reaches out for a mug, a container catches his attention.
''Made too much, you can eat it if you want.'' The sticker on it says.
His eyes must be playing with him. What has gone to the witch? Should he be scared? Although overthinking aside, you mentioned that you only made more than enough for one person, hence giving it to him. Welp, free breakfast for him then.
Sitting down, Jaehyun takes off his coat lest he stains it minutes before he attends an appointment. The lid clicks open and his nostrils hit with an appetizing scent of eggs and bacons. There's some rice and tomatoes on the side as well.
Biting the bacon along with rice, Jaehyun chews slowly, checking out the taste. He then hums, figuring out there's nothing to be afraid of. They taste like what they should've been. Strangely, Jaehyun thinks it tastes more delicious.
Today, you are not at the unit as it is the start of your 'redeeming reputation' era. Jaehyun ponders what you're doing right now. Are you sleepy? He heard you talking to your friend at 2am. Have you eaten breakfast properly? You eat a little in the morning. Are you having fun? Or you're just pretending to be? You don't fancy gatherings unless it's with people you are close to.
Jaehyun doesn't know when he started thinking of you, he just catches himself wondering what you're up to often. Is he catching feelings? Is he getting infatuated? Jaehyun doesn't think much of it. If he's developing feelings, then so be it. Would it be bad for him to harbor romantic feelings for his–
Saliva lands everywhere on the counter as Jaehyun launches forward, spitting what he ate at the empty spot of his plate. ''What the fuck..?''
Using a fork, he pokes the egg, turning it sideways, up and down. The food breaks down with all the movement, revealing the receipt that left an overly salty taste on Jaehyun's buds.
Fishing out his phone, he snaps a picture of the devil food in front of him before sending it to you, uncaring if it looks disgusting and all chewed up.
JH: What the hell is this?
Not even a minute, you reply. As if you've been waiting for him to message you.
You: Uh.. egg? Duh.
Jaehyun clicks his tongue.
JH: I know it's a goddamn egg. Why the fuck does it have clumps of rock salts in it? We put iodized, not the huge ones.
You: Heh. *Tongue out and eyes shut closed tightly emoji*
Jaehyun gulps down his water alongside his irritation, eyebrows meeting each other. He tries to settle for the bacon and rice but the demonic egg fucked up his taste buds and now, he can't enjoy his breakfast. Jaehyun should've known his fate was written the moment he decided to prank you.
Little did the royalty know, it was just the start of his road to slow death. Starting from the salty as fuck eggs, Jaehyun soon finds out you took the remote of the TV and so he couldn't watch the movie he had been waiting for since the announcement of its release date, unfortunately Jaehyun is not one to remember his passwords– he couldn't log in on his mobile phone.
What comes next is the kitchen sprinklers. You must've noticed Jaehyun cooks his own food from thereon (the egg incident) and figures out it'll be a good idea to use it against him. Jaehyun didn't see the lack of labels on the sprinklers, and with his hands already memorizing the placement of herbs and spices, Jaehyun grabs what he knows is the right one. Long story short, the prince opts for food delivery as his kimchi jjigae was for the ants. It was like the demon egg all over again, except this time, it was fucking sweet.
3 days later, when Jaehyun's favorite sneakers went missing, he knew he hadn't misplaced them. Is he unlucky that you're out of the city to do your princess duties? Maybe. Is he gonna let this piss him off? No, that means satisfying your goals. This is nothing, Jaehyun can search for it, surely it's somewhere in the house.
Wrong. Well, it is in the area of the house but it's not in the house. Guess where Jaehyun found his fucking sneakers? On the fucking rooftop. How did you even put that there, he doesn't have a clue. In the end, Jaehyun had to climb a ladder and fell once at the third step (he's quite clumsy, yes) before retrieving his shoes.
As Jaehyun sits through a meeting in a stained white (or should he say pink) dress shirt, he is surely determined to get that win back
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Acting civil with your fianceé is something you didn't expect after a constant back and forth of ruining each other's day, but you suppose it's only appropriate in a dinner with the family of both sides. Royals like meals as family bonding it seems, not that you know. Or do your parents consider discussing country matters on dinners as one?
Sipping your champagne, you hum quietly at the taste, too busy in your own world to listen to whatever conversation they are having at the other side of the table. That is until your father softly calls your name. You turn to him and pay attention.
''How's your appearances doing so far?''
''Good, I guess..? If it's not, Eunhye won't let me rest for a day or two.''
It's not like the King and Queen only orders you to help in charities and orphanages solely for building a good reputation for you, they also genuinely care about the unfortunate.
''That's great to hear then.'' Queen Miyoung smiles. And even though you're once struck by her beauty, it doesn't sit well with you.
''Hmm?''
What your mother says next emits a confused look from you. ''Prince Jaehyun will be accompanying you in every schedule, especially those that involves the media.''
You frown. ''But I thought it was for my image? Why would I need him to come with me?''
''Because once people see you getting along with your husband, moreover someone known for his kind and compassionate personality, it'll be easier to convince them that you've changed. Prince Jaehyun will be a great help to you.''
Seeing the grin that the man in front of you is not-so trying to hide, you clench your fist around the cutleries. How irritating.
''It was all thanks to the Prince for he voluntarily comes forward to join you on your appearances including those that does not involve medias.''
So the suffering you'll experience for the following weeks was his idea?
Squinting your eyes at the prince, you reach your foot forward, your face remains unchanging. You observe Jaehyun who's happily eating his food for a few seconds before smirking and stomping down on his foot hard enough to make it hard for him to hide his pathetic whimper.
Concern and worries are thrown at him but he dismisses them with his usual flower smile. Jaehyun then looks at you, his eyes diverting your subtly hidden fist, gesturing to punch him as a representative for your irritation at him. Jaehyun tongues his cheek and chuckles. He dares to fucking chuckle?!
Why is he smiling as if he won the olympics? Why is he so smug about this? And more importantly, why is your heart racing as you stare at the dimples shyly peeking out?
You yelp as you accidentally bite your tongue. Before you could even reach for yours, Jaehyun shoves his glass of water to your hands. Everyone is looking at the exchange, you have no choice but to accept his offer. You wanted them to believe this marriage fell apart naturally, and not because you sabotaged it. Though, you plan on doing the latter.
King Jaekyung's snicker rings on your ears. ''Ah, it seems like the two have been getting along. Perhaps the shared apartment was indeed a great idea.''
Your mother follows right after, clapping lightly. ''Right, right. Look at them, treating each other like real lovers. I'm not gonna be surprised if they themselves request for the wedding to be done soon.''
''How lovely. Are you alright though, darling? What has caused you to bite your tongue?'' Queen Miyoung worries.
''It's noth–''
''She was too busy staring at my face, Mom.'' Now, what the flying fuck is this motherfuck trying to play?
Queen Miyoung squeaks. ''Is that so?''
''Yes– my fianceé here even once said I'm too handsome, I could be up as an exhibit in Louvre.''
You give Jaehyun a smile so sarcastic he will know to run for his life the moment you two get out of here. The other people in the room thought it was a smile fondness instead. While Jaehyun sends you a finger heart, you itch to send him the middle finger.
Your mother shares a giggle with Mrs. Jung. ''Ah.. young love.''
Jaehyun earns another stomp.
Days after the dinner with the Kings and Queens sees you and Jaehyun in a kindergarten wearing pink white polka dots aprons. The little humans cheer as their teacher announces that they'll be designing their own cakes today with the help of the visitors. Visitors being you and Jaehyun.
Raising a piece of fruit, you snatch the kids' attention. ''Who wants some strawberries?'' 
''I want to! I want–!'' Little Seol-a makes grabby hands to you, making you chuckle.
''Okay, okay. Say ah..'' Popping the strawberry in Seol-a's mouth, you receive a cute giggle and 'thank you' from the little girl.
As the teacher announces the start of the making, everyone quickly gets to work, eager to create their most beautiful versions of cakes. Since you also have a cake to decorate, you only look at the kids every now and then, checking up on them. So far, everyone's doing good.
A high-pitched voice calls you. ''Can you please help me with the icing..?''
Smiling, you leave your seat and transfer beside Mina. ''What should we do?''
''I want it pink like Seol-a's, it's so pretty!''
Mina's words pull Seol-a out of her focus, turning to the two of you. Seol-a purses her lips. ''But I'm making it for my mommy. Does your mommy likes pink too?''
Mina looks down and her eyebrows crease in thinking. ''No. My mama likes blue, I think..''
Watching the exchange, you could tell that Seol-a doesn't want to tell Mina off but at the same time, she doesn't want her friend to do exactly the same as she's decorating hers specifically at the thought of her mom.
You decide to step up. ''Then, Mina, would you like yours to be blue?''
Mina ponders for a second before nodding, smiling a bit. ''Okay..''
Seol-a perks up. ''Mina! I'll be pink and yours will be blue, and then let's decorate it the same so our mommies would get matching cakes!''
Mina lights up at what she heard. She will have a matching cake with Seol-a, yet also have her own version. The two girls squeals at the cute teddy bears and gushes over the pastel colors their cakes will be. You smile in adoration.
Minutes pass, little humans ask for your assistance until almost everyone at your table is finished. You feel a tap on your back.
''Hi, Rowoon!''
The chubby boy smiles cutely at you, hugging you. ''Teacher, can you come help me please? Teacher Jaehyun is a bit busy with the others.''
Glancing at Jaehyun, a bunch of kids flock around him, calling his name and asking for his help. It has no sign of dwindling down so you nod, heading towards the boy's place after telling your own group that you'll be at the other table. As you help Rowoon with his cakes, you fail to ignore the conversations he's having with the kids due to the proximity.
''I love chocolates, I eat them everyday! Teacher, do you like chocolates?''
''Yes, of course. Chocolates is one of my favorites.''
''I like chocolate too but my mom won't let me eat more than three. Does your mom let you eat a lot of chocolate, Teacher?''
Jaehyun laughs, shaking his head at the core memory of Queen Miyoung scolding him for eating too much sweets. ''No, she doesn't. Your teeth will turn bad if you eat a lot of it and mommies are just taking care of you.''
''Turn bad? Like fall out–?!'' 
''Most likely.'' The little boy covers his mouth dramatically, earning another laugh from Jaehyun.
''Teacher! Your cake is so pretty!''
''Why, thank you, Yuna.'' Jaehyun boops her nose with a clean finger.
''You should get an award for having a pretty cake.''
One kid appears. ''My mommy gives me kisses as an award!''
''Me too!''
''Does your mommy gives you kisses too, Teacher?''
What's with these kids and questions about mommies?
''No, she doesn't.''
''Oh no.. is she mad at you?''
Jaehyun giggles. ''She's not. She used to give me kisses but not anymore because I'm a big boy now.''
''Ah, you don't want kisses anymore?''
Thinking he will earn kisses from the little kids if he says no, Jaehyun tells them he loves kisses. Humming, one of them then points a finger.
''Teacher will give you kisses as a reward if your cake is the prettiest!''
Jaehyun follows the path where the kid is pointing at. ''Really?'' His eyes landed on you, still and unmoving. Jaehyun bites his lower lip to stop the laugh rumbling on his chest.
Jaehyun grins. ''Then I should work on making this the prettiest cake ever made.''
You almost choke on your own spit.
Articles after articles, headlines after headlines. Old people gush about how pure your interactions are. Adults nudge each other at how you sweetly stare. Teenagers envies how Jaehyun performs all love language at you. It seems like everything now revolves around the Crown Princess and her lover.
The crowd certainly loves the contrasts between you and Jaehyun whereas you're more carefree and casual while Jaehyun sticks to his formal attitude. One thing that became popular amongst your supporters, or 'shippers', is the picture of you– like the diva that you are– wearing a pink miniskirt, corset top, socks with ribbons on top, mary jane pumps, and a cream loose cardigan sits beside Jaehyun who is dawned in his usual dress shirt, slacks, and blazer. You cannot forget that fanfic you found wherein Jaehyun is a CEO and you're a supermodel. Shippers are imaginative and delusional at the same time.
It's been 2 months since you've started attending events with the prince and it wasn't as hellish as you thought. Maybe because Jaehyun can't cause a problem in public, or maybe he just doesn't find the need to. Nonetheless, that didn't cease the fire that is the prank war. It goes on and on that even Winter finds it hilarious at this point. Who knew the lovely couple searched for a list of pranks to do in their free time so they could piss each other off?
Lately though, you've noticed (actually it was Winter) that your pranks have been getting less harmful to your daily lives and had just become something to enlighten the mood. Like the clown that pops up when you open the fridge and the snake balloon hidden in the tin can. Very uncharacteristically, you even find yourselves posting each other's reactions on your stories. And if Jaehyun created an instagram account just to upload videos and pictures of you, you're not so sure. A thing you're certain though is that the dislike for Jaehyun had faded away and was replaced by something else. Something you're yet to find out.
''A penny for your thoughts?'' A finger snaps you out of your thoughts. Jaehyun grins.
You shake your head and continue looking for the best quality of vegetables as Jaehyun follows you around, pushing your cart. Another thing that you've grown to get used to is doing groceries with Jaehyun. Very domestic, isn't it?
''Can we buy this one?'' Jaehyun points at the packs of big marshmallows.
Frowning, you shake your head. ''What're you gonna need it for? It'll just expired at the cabinet.''
''No, it won't.''
''How so?''
''I'll eat it before you can even say chubby bunny.''
''No, Jeong.''
''But we have a mini chocolate fountain machine at home!''
''Yes, a fountain machine you, may I say–'' You face him. ''–unnecessarily bought. Literally no reason to buy one.''
''Well now I can finally use it and it won't be useless anymore..?''
Tsking, you walk away to look at the meat. In the end, Jaehyun huffs, staring longingly at his marshmallows before tailing you, steps heavy.
After shopping for at most 2 weeks worth of food, you type on your phone while Jaehyun carries all those bags. So much for being a macho man. Winter sends an atrocious idea and forces a laugh out of you.
''What's funny?'' Jaehyun asks like a curious cat, peeking at your phone.
''Winter says we should announce that all of this is fake at the upcoming press conference and film Eunhye's reaction. God, that would be hilarious honestly.''
''Oh..'' And curiosity finally kills the cat. Jaehyun mums. Are you faking it all this time? Are you not enjoying your time with him? Are you faking having fun whenever you're with him, even now?
You are about to ask Jaehyun for the car keys but as someone who spends their entire life under the spotlight, you know a camera when you see one. Pocketing your phone, you stride towards the man at the car beside Jaehyun's. Said man tries to run away but you are quicker with your feet and grab him by his collar, you hear Jaehyun's call of your name.
''What's wro–''
''Give me the phone.''
''Why– what's happeni–''
''Give me the fucking phone!'' Shoving the man to a car, he winces at the pain in his back. When he surrenders his phone, you delete his video and throw it on the ground before stomping on it, crashing it.
Jaehyun calls your name again. ''Why did you do that? Stop, you're choking him.''' Though obviously wanting to calm you down, Jaehyun doesn't touch you anywhere, opting to wash his palm over his face.
You ignore him and focus on the man shivering in your hold. ''Tell me, what the fuck do want?''
''Nothing–''
You dig your forearm deeper to his neck. ''I'm only gonna ask this twice, you fucking twig. What do you want?''
The man struggles to breathe but attempts to answer anyway. ''I–I was.. paid to–'' He wheezes. ''To prove t-that.. Prince Jaehyun isn't what– what he pretends to be.'' The man coughs.
Raising a brow at what you hear, you wrap your hand around his throat and lean closer to his ear. ''Listen here, fucking microphallus. I know this fucker here looks like he's a worldwide known actor but in reality, he can't act for his fucking life. This man doesn't have a fucking future in acting. He can't fake anything, he's too goody shoes. This prince can't do a thing except entertaining the fucking crowd.''
He is genuine and is not pretending in front of the cameras. Is what Jaehyun can hear between your lines.
''So if you're thinking of exposing him and shit– too bad for you, Jeong lives his life by the books.''
Sighing, Jaehyun tugs at your shirt. ''Let's.. let's let him go. He said he was just paid to do it, didn't he?''
Glancing at the prince, you could see the stress on his irritatingly handsome face and annoyingly, you find yourself to hate the foreign emotion on it. Clicking your tongue, you let go of the man but grips his collar again before he can get away. ''Spread misinformations about my fianceé again, you'll be caressing metal bars the next day.''
Jaehyun holds your hand to take it away from the man and fixes his mask. ''Sir, you can send your resumé at the palace and you should be offered a job with monthly payment. Please don't ever damage someone for the sake of quick money. Money wears off in time, but the damage doesn't.''
With that, Jaehyun tugs you away from the scene. During the ride, silence fills the car and as you arrive at the apartment, that's when you realize Jaehyun's hand is still intertwined with you from the moment he holds it until you reach the flat. Why does Jaehyun look like it's the most normal thing? Why is your heart doing the fucking rabbity pumps?
Jaehyun heaves a sigh. ''Damn.. that's actually crazy– I can't even believe it happened. It went by so fast, my brain couldn't process the fact that someone believes I fake my personality and manners in front of the camera. Like–''
You plop to the couch.
''–what did I even do? Did I upset them? Did they say hi to me one time and I didn't say it back? Did they–''
''I punched the guy because I wanted to protect my friend.''
Jaehyun stops arranging the items you bought. ''What–?''
Hugging your knees, you keep your eyes on Jaehyun's. ''It was my friend's birthday and she wanted to celebrate it in this bar, it was called gangbang. Controversial, I know. We were having fun just like we planned to. But a group of guys at the other table starts joining in. We weren't paying attention to them– or at least, I wasn't. But one of my friends starts complaining about how one of the guys 'accidentally' brushes his hand on her ass too many times. Accidental, my ass. No one wants to come forward so I did, being the hero that I am. I talked to the guy calmly and asked what's wrong. Said guy told me my friend was lying but fuck– my friend was this close to crying about it. And then I got pissed at how his friends defends him when the CCTV clearly shows the incident so I fucking punched him and broke his nose.''
''Next thing I know, news outlets reports me getting involved in a brawl and ruining a fucking commoner's nose without including the reason why I did it.'' You scoff. ''Said friend I protected refused a statement and left the country without defending me.''
Jaehyun sits at the carpeted floor, facing you, looking with worry in his eyes. Something in your eyes flashes but disappears before Jaehyun could even determine what it is.
''And the pictures of me sleeping on the streets?''
Jaehyun hums, caressing your hands.
''They told everyone I was so fucking drunk I couldn't even bring myself home and showed videos of me chugging vodkas, whiskeys, beers straight from their bottle. But why didn't they show the part where all those fucking people around me gangs up on me and calls me a fucking pussy, a no fun, and a fucking killjoy. They didn't stop until I agreed on drinking all those fucking liqours.'' You sniffs, you didn't even know when you started tearing up.
''And that video where my bodyguard had to carry me because I wouldn't wake up? The palace was on emergency alert at that time– why? Because alcohol and sleeping pills were mixed inside me. When I tried to explain what happened, no one fucking believed someone slipped me a fucking bunch of sleeping pills– my heartbeat was fucking slowing down and I was over-sedated, Jaehyun. There's no point of telling them the truth when they already decided I was fucking lying. For fuck's sake, I was near to dying that fucking night– god!'' You bury your head in your knees, shoulders shaking as you sob, fist continuously knocking your head hard.
Jaehyun hugs your quivering figure, whispering words that he knows best that'll comfort and calm you. ''I understand you. I believe you. It's okay, love. You're gonna be okay. I'm here, alright? I'm here, love. Everything's gonna be okay.''
Your cries haven't even died down when you look at him. Jaehyun thinks vulnerability was the flickering emotions behind your eyes these past minutes that he failed to catch on.
''Aside from the people who did those shits, Winter is the only one who knows about the truth. Because she's important to me.'' You hiccup, tears streaming down your face. ''Do you get why I'm telling you this, Jeong?''
There's a clue, but Jaehyun doesn't want to get ahead of you. ''..why?''
You chuckle while crying, more tears roll down your cheeks. ''God, you're so fucking stupid, aren't you? Winter is important to me so she knows the truth. I told you the truth because–'' You bow your head down and hold Jaehyun's hands. ''–you're more than just important to me.''
Jaehyun's breath hitches, and the world stops. ''Oh baby..'' He kisses the back of your hands and the top of your head before hugging you tightly.
He attempts to say the words that have been at the tip of his tongue since you decorated cakes with the kids but you cut him off.
''I will hurt you, Jeong, accidentally. I don't communicate. I don't open up. I find it hard to trust people easily despite sharing a close bond with them. I curse more than I say affectionate and loving words. I push away more than I pull. I'm violent. I am broken, I'm a mess.''
Jaehyun smiles, so handsomely it makes your heart ache. ''You don't communicate and open up? That's fine, I can read between your lines. You find it hard to trust people? That's alright, trusts are earned, not bought. You curse more than being lovey dovey? Well, I'm lovey dovey more than cursing. You push more than you pull? Isn't it great that I'm the exact opposite. You're violent? I could do the talking, you could do the punching. You're broken? I will patch you up again and again. You're a mess? So what, you're a beautiful kind of mess. And if you hurt me and wound my heart.. well then– Sorry, Heart.''
Right there and then, the faceless man that you saw at the bar and had a crush on morphs with Jaehyun's. You chuckle. ''Fate is playing with us, isn't it?''
Jaehyun cradles your face. ''And I'm glad it did. Because I met you.''
''You're such a sap.''
''Oh shush, you love it.''
''Maybe, maybe not.''
''Pfft, wait– does this mean we stop the pranks now?''
''Do what the hell you want, but you'll continuing to be pissed off first thing in the morning.''
Operation: Stop the wedding! Step 3, fall in love with your soon-to-be-groom.
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A shudder electrifies the fibers of your body as Jaehyun spreads the cold juices of peaches along the lines of your collarbone, his tongue dips in next, easing to freezing temperature with his warmth. He sucks where the sticky liquid lays previously, his cravings of sweetness beaming in glee as the flavor slowly seeps in him.
Your breath heavy, hands moving to caress your boyfriend's blond strands as his kisses travel to your breasts. The flesh of the fruit circles your nipples before Jaehyun dives in, sucking the hard nubs all the while fondling and playing with the other. Quiet moans of pleasure finally escape your lips after minutes of holding back, your head lolls back and your eyes close shut, sighing from the pleasure slowly building up. Slurping sounds bounces off the four walls of your shared bedroom, it's so obscene that anyone who could hear it could certainly feel how hungry Jaehyun is for the mixture of the peach's sweetness and the bits of saltiness coming from your sweat. It's disgusting to think but Jaehyun's cock gets only harder with each taste.
The surface of his hand palms your clothed core, thumbing where he's sure your clit settles and gives the area a slight pressure, he makes circles around the button that elicits a series of whimpers from you.
Fuck. How he wishes to see this image of you everytime. Your glossy eyes, puckered swollen slips, and whole face scrunched up as your body shivers in his hold, back arching as pleas of having him inside you draws out. 
Break me, wreck me, ruin me. Those are everything your body screams. 
Oh, he will ruin you, alright.
Jaehyun rips the remaining pieces of clothing off of you, gripping your legs apart, wide and open just for him. The way your pussy glistens under the dim lights of the room, the prince's lust fuels up until he could no longer bear the desire of devouring you. 
His mouth, his tongue, his body, his mind -- screams for your taste, it craves the feeling of you thrashing against his embrace as you fall apart. And Jaehyun.. he's just a man. One who could only do much to control himself from drowning his face in the sea of tempting your slick.
''Ooh, Jaehyun, please..'''
From the alley your legs created, you are able to see Jaehyun's face and how his brow quirks in question to your plea. He's so fucking cruel, unlike the gentleman and polite prince everyone in your country had loved since the beginning. If they only know.
The pad of his tongue follows the traces of your juice, squeezing the last bits of the peach and lets it trickle down on your pussy. Dipping the tip of his tongue, he wiggles it until he's deep inside your warm tight walls, clenching on his muscle as he fucks you with it.
''Jaehyun–! Fuck!''
Your hips jerks upwards, practically offering your core to Jaehyun's face. That, Jaehyun accepts. Gripping each thigh, he pins you to the bed as he sucks, licks, and devours more than you offer.
Jaehyun's fingers join his tongue, squelches emitting from your soaked pussy as Jaehyun's digits continuously penetrate it. By the time Jaehyun is about to add the fourth finger, he sees your eyes rolling and notices the constant clenches of your walls– a telltale sign of your climax. And Jaehyun isn't Jaehyun if not a bastard in bed.
He pulls away before walking away to fetch something, all the while unbuckling his belt and unzipping his pants. Jaehyun reaches the foot of your bed, he tugs his pants and boxers down, revealing a girthy and lengthy dick with an angry tip.
Jaehyun pumps his cock, staring at your sore pussy and fucked out face. Your breathlessness is music to his ears.
''Jaehyun, please..''
''Please?''
You open your legs wider, hands dipping between your legs to spread the cheeks of your pussy. ''It's all yours. Please, fuck me.''
''Fucking hell..'' Jaehyun nudges your legs open as you both moan in unison as his cock pushes past your entrance, veins rubbing against the tight velvet walls. Jaehyun plans to wait for you to adjust, but you shake your head. He smirks, and starts fucking.
''My girl is getting brave, huh? Let's how much you can fucking take.''
God, this is why you love Jaehyun in bed. This is the only time you hear him curse, be rough, and manhandle you in positions you didn't even know you're capable of doing.
You ask for it hard, and Jaehyun gives it every time. Wrapping his hand under your knee, he folds your body until it touches your chest as Jaehyun slides deeper, reaching deep inside you that a bump appears every now and then on your stomach.
''Fuck– do you see that, baby? Look at your stomach, shit, it's bulging. Am I too big for your tight pussy, baby?''
Jaehyun pins you against the headboard with his weight as drools escape the corners of your lips, dribbling down your neck. You grip the top of the headboard for support.
''Ah ah ah! S-so good.. so good!''
Jaehyun chuckles lowly. ''Does it, baby? Tell me what makes you feel good.''
''Y–your big–big cock! Fuck, i-it's so, haahh, so big!''
''That's right. My big fat cock is making my girl feel so good; she can't even construct a proper sentence. Do you know how that makes me fucking feel, baby? I feel like a fucking king, you know. Crown Princess, fucking feisty and always hissing at everyone, crumbling down at the feeling of my cock at her guts.''
Jaehyun plows into you deliciously, white spots showing themselves at different parts of your vision as pleasure takes over your body. ''You're so fucking tight, baby. You're choking me.''
Yelping, you hold onto Jaehyun as he withdraws from your pussy, carrying you as he transfers you to the glass window near the bed, pushing you against it before he starts pounding vigorously once again, teeth sinking to break your skin, lapping the droplets of blood. Lewd moans knock out of your throat. Seeing your reflection from the window, you're reminded of those pornos you've watched as a curious teen.
''Jaehyun– uh, uh, Jaehyun! You're gonna make me come!''
''Then come. Come for me, darling.''
You white out, shuddering in Jaehyun's hold as you clamp down on his cock, white ring appearing around his length. Jaehyun buries his head in the crook of your neck as he chases his own high, groaning as he finally reaches it, pulling out to finish himself on your back.
As a minute passes, you both regain the air your lungs have been desperately needing. Jaehyun makes you face him and kisses your lips full of gentleness, so in contrast to the rough pounding earlier.
And of course, Jaehyun isn't Jaehyun if not a sap after sex.
''I love you so much, baby.''
You snort. ''I do too, idiot. Now clean me up.''
Operation: Stop the wedding! Step 4, abort mission.
Come morning, the sunlight seeps through the curtains and shines on your bed beautifully. Jaehyun wakes up, his day already made at the sight of you sleeping peacefully in his arms. You look adorable, like you couldn't harm a fly. You wouldn't if said fly doesn't harm any of your loved ones.
God, Jaehyun is so fucking in love with you. You smile, his day is made. You breathe, suddenly the weather is perfect. You exist, Jaehyun finds every reason to live. You are the water that keeps Jaehyun tethered.
''What the fuck do you want, Jeong?''
The prince chuckles. 8am in the morning and you're already so grumpy. It confuses a few staff members how Jaehyun fell in love with you. If he won't get in trouble, he'll tell them you're a witch and make him drink some irreversible love potion or what.
''Nothing. You're pretty.''
''... Shut up. Just because you look fucking good in the morning.''
''Thank you, baby. I love you.''
''Ugh, you're too in love with me.''
Jaehyun giggles. ''I am. Will you marry me?''
You stop yawning and look at him as though he grew a second head (or third..?). ''The fuck did you say?''
''Will you marry me, baby?''
You scoff. ''Ask that again if you have a ring to out around me.'' The words are mumbled but Jaehyun manages to hear it.
''What?''
''I said your breath stinks, Jeong.''
Shaking his head in disbelief, Jaehyun laughs deeply, caused by his morning voice. You find that hot but you won't te him because he'll use it against you everytime.
Jaehyun reaches for something behind him, inside the drawer, and faces you again. There you see a small red box on his palm, Jaehyun opens it and reveals the ring you've once mentioned to be your dream ring. Wordlessly, he slips the ring on your finger after taking off the fake one.
''But we're already engaged though.''
''Eh.. that was fake, baby. This one's real.''
You raise a brow. ''I haven't even said yes.''
''You'll say no to me?''
''Pfft, you're getting too cocky. I don't like that.''
''Hmm, sure, love.'' Jaehyun smiles warmly and takes you in his arms again. You bury your head in his chest.
''Jeong,''
Jaehyun hums.
''I hate you for making me feel this way.''
Jaehyun settles his hands on the sides of your face and caresses your cheeks with his thumbs. ''I love you too, witch.''
''Psst,''
''What now, baby?''
''I love you, Jaehyun.''
Operation: Stop the wedding! Step 5 and the last step, be in love and marry each other for real.
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figsnpassionfruits · 5 months ago
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a/n: wheewww this was super fun to write. this takes place after the events of DP&W so i hope it clears up the confusion. have fun reading <3 word count: 2.7k tags: worst!logan x fem!reader (can be read as gn!) warnings: angst, smut, not feeling loved enough, rough sex?, mentions of fighting, being addicted to a person basically dividers by: @strangergraphics-archive pictures are from pinterest
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It had been days since you had last seen him. “Don’t worry ‘bout it” He would say, not wanting to merge his rugged life with the domestic one he had built with you. It was common for his episodes to play out like that. Logan would leave to god knows where, taking care of business, not that you would know what was meant by it, and return a few days later. He could call you, let you know that he was okay; but he never did.
Each and every time you would cuss at him, more mentally than physically. How dare he just leave and return whenever it pleases him? How dare he only have a relationship with you when it was convenient for him?
But you could not resist.
No matter how angry you were at him, all what mattered during his returns was that he was safe and that he came back to you. You wanted your rage to overweigh, you really did. But your heart had other plans.
Once the door unlocked you knew what would come. The same fight all over again.
You were in bed now, curled up into a ball under your shared blanket, his distinct smell still lingering on the fabric. Faced away from the door, you hoped he thought you were asleep. There was only so much energy one could withhold. Maybe yours was drained already. If you were lucky, he would just get into bed with you and hold you. Perhaps then you could pretend that everything was okay. That this was not sucking everything out of you.
Nevertheless, his heavy footsteps soothed you. Gosh, you really did not want them to. And sometimes, you really did not want to love him the way you did. Was he everything you wanted? Yes. Would he give you everything you wanted? Sure. But fuck, could he stick around for more than a single week before having to go again? No.
As he stepped into your room you instinctively shut your eyes. You could hear him stand still once he reached the doorway. A loud sigh escaped his mouth, and he walked off once again.
After a few moments you heard water splashing against natural stone.
Relieved that you had another few minutes to yourself, you turned onto your back, your eyes fixated on the ceiling as you became lost in your thoughts again. There you were in the bed of your boyfriend, waiting for him to join, having to act like he just completed a normal day at work. It was sickening. You knew this would be a part of it. Hell, you agreed to it. But now that you were in the situation you were not sure whether you could handle it anymore. If at least he would tell you; not hide his life from you; maybe you could deal with it differently.
Logan told you in the very beginning that he did not want you to know anything about the other side of him. You agreed to it. He told you he did not want you to ask him any questions. You agreed to it. He told you that everyone in his other universe got hurt because of him. He told you he did not want to make the same mistake. He told you that you would only be allowed into a fraction of his life. And you agreed to it.
Maybe you should not have.
He fully walked into your room now, the scent of his shampoo filling your nose as he carefully dropped his weight onto the mattress next to you.
You were back into your previous position now, curled up and facing away from him.
Once under the covers, Logan lifted your head gently and reached an arm under your neck, his other finding its way to rest over your midsection. He nuzzled his face into your hair, inhaling your smell.
He missed you. He really did. And you knew it. And that hurt even more.
Placing a hand on the side of your face, he tilted it up, delivering the softest kiss to your temple.
This was exactly what broke you every time. The softness Logan possessed was nothing you ever had expected from him when you first met. He simply did not seem the type. But after cracking him open, you could tell; this man was the softest lover.
Out of sudden he pulled you closer by your waist, your rear now fully curled into his front, fitting into him like a puzzle piece.
Not able to do any different, you leaned into his touch, wiggling your hips against his groin slightly.
He chuckled once and paid the attention of his lips to your neck this time, mumbling against the soft skin. “You awake, princess?”
You nod and hum slightly, shifting your frame so you could look at his face.
There it was.
The face you fell in love with.
You wanted to yell at him, hit him and tell him to leave. But you could not. Not when he was staring at you like you were the most precious thing he laid eyes on. Not when his eyes sparked that way in the dim light of your bedroom.
“You were gone for so long this time.” You whispered.
“I know.” He replied, kissing your forehead as a silent apology. “I’m here now.”
“Wish you would’ve let me know you were okay.”
“I know.”
This again. He was openly admitting to knowing that his actions hurt you. But his wording made clear that he was not going to change that.
As if he could read your mind, Logan continued talking, his index finger moving lose strands of hair from your face. “It’s dangerous to reach out to you while I’m gone. Never know who is tracking anything, love. I told you this.” He kissed your temple again. His body language was screaming at you that he was sorry, but his words were just scrambling excuses and reminders to you. It was confusing. Were you supposed to be mad at him or forgive him? It always ended up being the same anyway. But it should not.
“I just miss you, Lo.”
Logan let out a sigh, his eyes now on the ceiling.
When no response came, you propped yourself up on your elbows, looking at him. “You could say that you missed me too.”
“I did.”
“Are you sure?”
His eyes now turned to yours. The tension of the eye contact sped up the beating of your heart. He must have noticed, due to the fact that he now had a hold of both of your hands with a single one of his, rubbing small circles on them in an attempt to calm you down. “Yes, I am sure.”
Another moment of silence passed again; the both of you just looking at each other.
“You have to change, Logan. I cannot keep living in this house alone for the majority of the time, asking myself whether you are coming home or not.”
“I know.”
“That’s it?”
Logan cocked a brow at your words, seemingly surprised at your snap.
“That’s all you’re gonna give me? ‘I know’?”
“Well, what do you want me to say?”
“I don’t want you to say anything, Logan, I just want to feel loved and not like just some side piece that you can conveniently return to whenever you’re done with a job!”
He did not expect you to raise your voice. Neither did you.
Logan kept a blank stare at you, not sure how to respond. He knew that you were right and he understood your feelings. That was the problem. It was not about convincing anyone about who had a point, it was more about a behaviour that he was struggling to change. Logan was in a constant turmoil with himself, having to weigh out how to protect the people he was close to as well as having to protect himself. He knew that you should not feel like an option; he knew that. But all those years of self-loathing did not teach him how to show it.
“Darlin’, I-“
Without letting him answer to your rant you leaped forward, engulfing him in a rough and fast kiss. Your hands immediately found their ways to the side of his face and his curls.
Logan copied your action, his lips slightly chapped as your kiss deepened more and more.
Allowing his tongue into your mouth, you moaned into him, pressing your front against his as your legs took over to straddle him. You could not control it. No matter how mad you were, all you wanted was him. Your kisses screamed out in desperation and the need to feel loved by him. It was not like Logan did not love you, but you would be lying if you said that having him gone all the time did not make you feel like it.
Logan set his hands on your ass, squeezing the flesh harshly as he pulled you even closer to him, making you hiss quietly. For a split second he pulled away, guiding your top over your head and throwing it to the side without taking his eyes off of you.
Leaning down into the next kiss, you gasped into his mouth. You leaned down to him, your already hot skin now clashing with the rough hair on his chest, causing you to feel a slight tickle.
“I missed you so much.” You repeated, whispering the words against his lips.
“I missed you too, love.” He replied, giving you a small peck after.
You cupped his face with your hands, rubbing your thumbs over his beard. “You can’t keep leaving me like this, Lo. I get so worried each time.”
Logan leaned his forehead against yours, closing his eyes. “We’ll talk about this again, alright? Lemme take care of you now.”
In a split second he had you on your back, his forearms holding his weight in order to not crush you underneath him. He leaned down to deliver a rough yet short kiss to your lips once more before moving his mouth down to your neck, kissing that sweet spot that made you squirm before sucking on it just enough to make you moan.
“Missed those sounds.” He mumbled, his hands travelling down your stomach and your hips, tugging at the sole fabric that was covering you.
Lifting your hips up, you allowed him to take them off, your eyes not leaving his as he inched further down to the end of the bed, lining his mouth up at your inner thighs.
Usually you would giggle at him, asking him to not tease you. But today you needed this. You needed to feel cherished. Needed to feel loved.
Once his tongue made contact with you; all the anger and sadness washed away. In this moment you were just with him in your shared home, your shared room and your shared bed. It was just you two.
After moaning his name over and over again, his tongue flicking at your bundle of joy, you had allowed to relax and to release yourself, panting as your rode out your high. Logan was whispering and mumbling sweet praises to you, but you were too lost in this setting to pick up on any of them.
Not wanting you to detach, Logan leaned back up to you, his lips hungrily launching onto you again. You tasted yourself on him as you kissed back, your hands on the back of his neck pulling him to you, desperate to want him closer. You leaned yourself further up, your hands automatically moving to get a grip of his now exposed cock.
“Uh uh.” Logan snickered, holding your wrist with a hand of his. “Today’s all about you, mkay?”
“But, Lo-“
“No.” Logan interrupted you with a kiss. “Stop.” Giving you a second to process, he lifted his brows, giving you a look, silently begging you to accept.
You nodded in reply, biting your lip as he flashed you that smirk that you loved so much.
“Good girl.”
Out of a sudden Logan pulled on your ankles, his frame now propped on his knees. You watched him as he spat on his hand, using it to stroke his dick for a few times as he lined himself up at you.
Licking your own fingers while keeping your eyes on him, you moved your hand down to your folds, rubbing small circles on your wet skin.
With the familiar feeling of a lover, Logan entered you slow yet easily. He leaned his body down to you, a hand of his moving your hair out of your face while the other kept a hold on the inside of your knee, tilting it in a way to allow him better access.
“You okay?” He asked you, giving you a small kiss on your lips before starting to move his hips lazily.
“Yea.” You whisper out, tangling the fingers of your hand into his hair.
Smirking at your words, Logan now sped up slightly, his hips clashing against yours in a more rapid pace, now forcing moans to escape your lips. Logan leaned his forehead against yours, his grip now on your jaw. He did not intend to place his thumb right next to your mouth, yet you could not resist.
Turning your head to the touch, you took his calloused finger into your mouth, sucking on it while fighting your moans from his thrusts.
The sound of your wetness mixed with the slapping of skins filled the room as Logan picked up the speed once more, setting it to a more brutal one that you were usually used to with him.
You let go of his thumb with a ‘pop’, leaning your head back into the pillow, moaning out his name.
Using that to his advantage, he dove his head down, nibbling and biting on the skin of your neck, making you audibly gasp in between your bliss. “Fuck, Lo.”
“Tell me what you want.” He mumbled against your skin, not slowing down his thrusts while he demanded an answer.
“Want you to take me from behind.” You managed to blurt out, your eyes rolling to the back of your head once he sped up even more for just a tiny bit.
Out of nowhere he pulled out harshly, not even allowing you to whine at the loss of him before he flipped you over effortlessly onto your stomach. Getting on top of you, Logan pushed his cock right back into you, returning to that pace he had set right before he pulled out.
It was too much for your body to handle and it responded with gripping the covers underneath it as hard as you could, your knuckles’ colour turning to pale.
“Yea, you like it when I fuck you like this?” He mocked you, fisting a hand into your hair and pulling you up to him. “You’re the only one I can do this to, alright? Only you. I’m yours and you’re mine, understood?” He asked through his rough thrusts.
The possessiveness in his voice made you clench around him, your eyes shutting in pleasure as his words filled your ears. “I love you.” You moaned out, a hand of yours now gripping his wrist hardly.
He chuckled and slowed ddown his thrusts for a bit before replying to you. “I love you too, sweet thing.”
Logan knew all you needed was to be fucked well enough to feel loved again. Was it healthy? Probably not. But it was better than fighting. And you hated to admit it.
Delivering a small kiss to your forehead, you whined against Logan, the feeling of fullness and love overwhelming you.
“What’s wrong, love?” He asked, his hips slowly rocking against you.
“Need more.”
Logan smirked once more and sat up straight, his hands now on the sides of your lower back. You wanted him more and more. And he was going to give himself to you.
🍯
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