#and I thought I’d give my reasoning
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honestly I considered ‘scrimbo’ when trying to solidify a name for this ship, but you have to understand that not only was this the height of the ‘blorbo’ memes and so would have faded into every other fandom post ever, but ‘scarbo’ was also the ship name being used for Mumbo and scar at the time. It was too similar and too confusing!!!
‘Mumscarian’ gives a bigger spotlight to everyone in the ship (‘scrimbo’ only has one unique letter from Grian, the ‘i’). There were a lot of prototype ship names thrown around (like ‘grumbscar‘, but I’m going to be so honest I hated that), but ‘mumscarian’ already had a couple uses as a tag, sounded better than a couple of the other names, and so was the one that stuck!! It was only partially something that anyone could control, ‘mumscarian’ became the official name out of aesthetic purposes but also out of convenience!
ive just remembered the fact that mumbo, grian and scar's ship name is mumscarian and im so sad. you were given the option of scrimbo, and you chose mumscarian?????
#Sincerely the person who solidified this ship name#Also I didn’t like the idea of scrimbo as my username. Mumscarian rolls off the tongue better#also sorry if you didn’t actually want anyone to respond but multiple people have complained about the name#and I thought I’d give my reasoning#Anyone can do whatever they want forever but it’s not like I chose mumscarian via a blindfold and a dartboard#there were some very important things I had to consider when it came to ship names! Wether or not the ship name was already taken#like for instance with DocMartyn I wanted to go with ‘shoeshipping’ at first but 1. Shoeshipping was taken by the Pokémon fandom#and 2. Let’s be honest docmartyn sounds so much cooler#And I also had to consider how obvious the ship name was to newcomers and how memorable it was#like redscape still isn’t used by everyone because it’s more of an aesthetic ship name and people don’t know what it’s referencing!#(tho I love it as a ship name it sounds so pretty)#but mumscarian is pretty easy to tell who it it involves bc it has a lot of key elements of their names!!#anyways sorry for giving you an essay on a minor complaint I just get really into naming ships sjsjsj#and no offense meant! This is all /lh you can do whatever you want forever
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slimeriana yuri if you even care…
reblogs appreciated!!
boobs under the cut because idk if that’s something i need to warn people about,,, it’s suggestive??? aaah fem!qmariana is wearing an open button up shirt 👍
#🎨 my art#slimeriana#fliporiana#hope you like this slimeriana fans <33 this one’s for you AIJDHIFJOAJ#please forgive me for my cringe TT#my friend is soo silly /pos about the last drawing so i thought i’d share it lol… i’m sure they’ll see this actually#they give me positive reinforcement and im like “wow maybe people do like my art” and i get too confident and want to share it online KMAIH#/lh it’s fine i’m just shy and worry too much for no reason#that being said im irrationally worried about the last drawing TT if it crosses some line please let me know so i can delete it
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PLEASE DO NOT GIFT ME BADGES
Tumblr is getting rid of avatars and no longer showing where a reblog comes from in post headers to “afford more room for badges.”
I always felt kinda bad when I was gifted badges and then didn’t use them, cuz people spent actual money on them. So I’m asking, please do not gift me badges, or any other tumblr merch for that matter.
I threw them a bone last year and paid for the ad-free because the ads and blazed softcore porn on the app were infuriating, but I’m canceling it. They’re not getting anything from me anymore. I’ll have to switch back to using the Firefox mobile browser. Hopefully the new dash un-fuckers that are going around will work on mobile.
#for the record ‘running an experiment’ now means ‘this is how it’s going to be regardless of feedback’#someone posted screenshots of responses from two different staff members#that were exact copies of each other#they were in response to separate feedback messages sent almost a month apart#one about the dash layout and one about the avatars#they’re lucky cuz staff never even graced me with a response to the long thought out civil message I’d sent them#maybe I was too civil#this is all the more reason for me to get rid of my iphone too#apparently apple makes it impossible for Firefox to run extensions on mobile browser#so idk if I can fix my dash#and if/when this update hits the app too AMD I cancel ad free it’ll be completely unusable#@staff#are you in so much debt that you’re intentionally trying to blow up the site? is that what’s going on?#because you know we’re a petty spiteful user base and won’t give you a dime if this goes on#so what’s the plan here?#tumblr update#dashboard update#badges
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY @reallunargift!
Guess who's using his last cents after a night out to wish you a very happy birthday? I hope you're leaning in extra close, because Port has to make himself heard over the pimba playing in the background!
#happy happy birthday to one of my most precious friends!#the cleverest jokester the most avid f1 commentator the sweetest person and the most talented all-rounder#the (lunar) gift that keeps on giving! ❤️#this year i thought i’d draw port wishing you happy birthday over the phone#the original idea behind this was ro talking to port on the phone and the telephone cord stretched out to spell “happy birthday lunie”#but i ran out of time and ro didn’t come out the way i wanted him to#(for some reason he came out looking like george russell don't ask me why he just did!)#i hope that you will like your present all the same#thank you for brightening up another year of my life with your inimitable sense of humor#but most of all thank you for another year of your one-of-a-kind friendship#i hope that this year will bring you happiness good health good luck#(more content on 2 unnamed f1 drivers shhh)#and everything that your heart desires because you deserve it tenfold#la mulți ani lunie! ❤️#parabéns! ❤️#aph portugal#my fanart
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u are literally so strong for being pre med. im also 21 and ive just about given up on taking the mcat and doing extracurriculars after army crawling through all the prereqs 😭 much luck to you!!!!!! praying john hopkins takes u 🙏🙏 we need more lovely, kind and genuine doctors like you and u deserve the best of the best 💖💖
Thank you my dove <3 no it’s literally the most ruthless thing ever. People don’t understand the mental stamina it takes to fulfill all facets of the application med schools expect. It’s more than a full time job—sometimes it doesn’t feel like there are enough hours in the day tbh, between doing research and volunteering and shadowing and gaining hands on experience. And don’t get me started on the mcat lmao, preparing for it feels like I’m training for the Olympics. I’m into it most days, it’s fun to be consumed by something you’re truly passionate about, but I also completely get how it predisposes all of us to frequent burnouts. Add to that the stress of meeting the still more extraordinary, still more impossible standards of elite med schools…
#And usually I wouldn’t give a fuck for prestigious names but I want to become a surgeon#And surgery specialties DO care about the school you went to. They care ab the prestige#So I’m trying to score the highest I possibly can and just go above and beyond#To clarify a big part of it (the biggest part) is bc I’m passionate about everything I do#But I also know it’s what they’d want to see#I get the most shocked looks when I tell people I want to become a neurosurgeon LMAOOO#And even for someone like me who loves school it’s such an overwhelming thought at times#But it is unfortunately what I want to do w my life… I don’t think I’d be happy settling for anything else#And ik id want to be doing this even if i were the richest person alive#So im doing it for the right reasons & that’s why im sure of my trajectory
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Oh I fucking hated that Manifest ending it made absolutely no sense. Rant and spoilers under cut.
Why in hell would they go back to 2013 and undo everything that happened over the last 11 years??? Sure the passengers are forever changed, but what about Olive’s journey? Jared and Drea? All of the other nonpassengers who grew and learned and became something better because of this story? And why them? Zeke survived his death date and he didn’t go back (at least, not until he died the second time). Zeke got to have cool powers and it kinda sucks cuz he was the only one we know who survived his death date so he’s the only one we got to see be affected by it. It would’ve been cool to see what the passengers could do and also how the rest of the world would have reacted. The world HATED the 828ers and instead of getting some resolution with them finding out that the 828ers saved the world, they just all never actually experienced it?
Also, wasn’t something that was a hidden gift in the whole thing that Saanvi’s research had time to develop during those 5 1/2 years? If they go back, then Cal would still be sick and without the research this time. That undos all of that and the connection that that made between Saanvi and the Stones and how fate connected them in so many ways. And they specifically said that they needed time to finish her research and start the trials. He would’ve been dead if he waited. That was a specific point.
Because of the time pause, Olive is now significantly younger than TJ, which the show addresses by making him look at her sadly and then sets him up with Violet. Not only did they steal Olive’s story and growth, they also just completely ruined their relationship that I loved. Plus, they never really gave them a satisfying ending pre-apocalypse. All they did was have Olive say she wanted to fix things so they could have a future together, only for that to now be impossible (unless they meet again in like 10 years when it’s a less weird age gap). This is kind of a smaller reason, but it still bugs me cuz they had such potential to be a great ship and were constantly pushed under a rug, especially there at the end.
And what are they supposed to do now? This is a problem in a lot of time travel/day repeating stories where someone changes seemingly overnight with no explanation except instead of just one person, it’s almost 200. 200 people who know things about the next 11 years, who have been changed beyond recognition, who are now going to change so much stuff in the future that didn’t need to be changed. Yeah, they’re all better people now and will work to do good (allegedly) yadda yadda. What about all the passengers who fell in love with nonpassengers that they now may never meet? Or, like TJ and Olive, can’t be together because of the time jump. Yeah Mick found Zeke and now they can be happily ever after, but what about the nonpassengers who were changed in the years between and now aren’t the same person that the passenger fell in love with? So many of us are shaped by our experiences. What happened to all the other passengers, to their stories? What if the person that they fall in love with’s life is altered because of the choices another passenger makes? What if they move to another state, fall in love with someone else, die??? Another issue tule travel causes is that even the smallest action can domino into something completely different, even just one person let alone TWO HUNDRED. I know that this is probably not something most people think about and they just pay attention to Grace and Zeke being alive and all the happy moments, but it’s not that simple for me and it BUGS ME when writers don’t consider this.
Lastly, on a similar note, how is this any different than it ending with “it was all a dream”??? Like nothing actually changes, none of their callings are set in stone and they’ll have to remember every single thing they did during those 5 1/2 years, things that won’t happen until YEARS later. Ugh I just so hated the way they ended things and it sucks cuz I love this show a lot.
#manifest#manifest netflix#this is kinda long but if you’ve watched the finale you should read this and tell me if you agree#my sister hasn’t finished yet so I don’t have anybody to talk to about this#if you disagree I’d love to know why!#Im always interested in hearing alternate viewpoints#(particularly on more lighthearted matters like a tv show finale)#edit:#the tag has reminded me of Lourdes and I’m mad about that too!!!#not only did they completely drop her as a character#despite being one of mick’s bffs and Jared’s FIANCÉE#but they don’t even bring up how she will exist in the new life with no memories of what happened#so mick will be mad at her for a reason that hasn’t happened yet and it’ll be so weird#like there are so many things about this that don’t make any sense if you give it more than two seconds of thought
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ive attended six total therapy sessions in my life and it was with a free university counsellor and i told her one thing that ill admit was pretty concerning but aside that spent the entire time waffling about shit that isnt actually super important i was 100% just talking for the sake of talking with 0 intention of receiving help and then when she asked me to come back i never rebooked and now i think daily about the fact she has information about me written down and i sometimes convince myself she’s going to use it maliciously and it is something i actively regret because of aforementioned conviction. so all in all i’d say i handled the whole thing with the mental fortitude of someone in need of significantly more therapy
#and yet bc of that very reason i will not be trying it again ever you cannot MAKE me#my mum every now and then is like ‘you liked that one counsellor right? did you hear anything from her in the end?’#and I’m reminded i LIED TO MY MUM and said I’d asked for more sessions and was just in a queue bc the uni has high demand 😭😭#yk for someone w not a lot wrong with them & not nearly enough trauma to justify this behaviour i sure as fuck have to freak it sometimes#it was kinda funny tho bc the thing i told her that WAS real and concerning she just. did nothing about. like she kinda went 🤨elaborate🤨#and i went ‘…. nah’ and that was it she spent like 5 mins giving me shit advice and then i by accident missed our next session#and she was like OMG I THOUGHT YOU WERE AVOIDING ME BC YOU TOLD ME A HUGE THING AND THEN DIDNT SHOW#istg that woman was so socially anxious i acc really loved her. shame i can’t be NORMAL ABOUT THINGS#hella goes to uni
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I went into hyrule warriors knowing I wouldn’t be able to get everything because you can’t get the wiiu dlc anymore but the sheer amount of stuff you can’t do because of it is making me more and more mad
#rambles from the floor#I thought I was over it I’m not actually#if I wasn’t tired this would probably be affecting me less but I am so it is#you only get one adventure map (despite the game giving you tips for the others)#you can’t get a bunch of characters (which I knew but there were several I thought I’d get and didn’t)#you can’t get EPONA#and I haven’t totally confirmed but I’m strongly suspecting you CANT GET THE MASTER SWORD BUFF#*hiding a mallet behind my back* hey koeitech/nintendo I just wanna talk promise#yet another reason to add to my list of why I should buy a switch even though I’ll never be able to convince myself to buy one
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I really need to get serious about personal projects again
#I think I said something like this last year too lol#currently in a weird headspace about it#the biggest reason why I lost focus on them was bc I prioritized engaging in fandom#(something that I never really did when I was focused on publishing a few years back)#so part of me feels like in order to make considerable progress on projects again I need to cut myself off from fandom#and I kinda have been weening myself off a bit from animanga but not really for that reason#it was mostly bc I was getting overwhelmed by how much I was consuming and I wanted to appreciate things fully#I don’t think I’d cut myself off from fandom completely either I’d still try to keep up with stuff#but the idea of not engaging in fandom anymore kinda.. scares me?#idk I feel like a major loser admitting this lol#it just feels like I’d lose a lot of connections with people#and would lose a lot of the love I have for stories if I’m not actively interacting with them :(#and then there’s also that stupid feeling of being a ‘fake fan’ because I’m not dedicating every single second of free time to fandom#which is dumb bc like I have a life and need to make money yknow I got things to do#im just Stressed bc I’m at such a critical stage career wise and im getting closer to 26 so hhhhh healthcare coverage will be up in the air#so I really can’t afford to dawdle#there’s just so much I wanna do and while I’m not necessarily racing to get it done I still want to take advantage of the time I have#but it also sucks feeling like I’m giving up a part of myself to progress on another part of myself#I don’t think any of this makes sense sorry I just needed to dump my thoughts bc I am Terrified™️#anyway personal projects! gotta get back to those !#blahblahbills#delete later
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really wish there was a tag that separated “I’m having Big Angry and/or Angsty Opinions about Star Wars” from “I’m goofing off with Star Wars I’m playing in the sandbox none of this is real so yes I will make my blorbo and this random glub shitto go on an adventure that makes no logical sense” posts because there’s too much of the former and not enough of the latter for my current mental state
#starlight personal#the good news is that I finally have another ketamine appt scheduled and it’s sooner than I thought they’d have an opening#the bad news is that the appointment is not tomorrow and we’re kinda at the end of my mental-emotional rope#now kids this is what we call: an inherent flaw in my treatment plan that cannot be removed#because pretty much in an ideal world I’d have ketamine appointments every 6 weeks but 1) expensive and probs can’t afford that#2) they don’t have enough availability for that to be realistic 3) can’t take off of work THAT frequently without consequences#4) I would probably start to doubt reality if I was tripping that frequently 5) I don’t think docs would allow it#treatment resistant depression and anxiety my beloathed if we could just chill that’d be great#treatment resistant PMDD my other beloathed someday I will do my damnedest to cut you out of my body#idk not to be too selfpitying on main but god it fucking sucks that I appear to be doomed to another cycle based mood thing#PMDD means I get two good weeks two bad weeks#ketamine being the only effective treatment for whatever my brain’s got going on means two good months followed by x bad months#until my next appointment#which like! two good months is better than no good months I am grateful that something helps#I just wish it was a more convenient help and it could be applied more consistently than my psych office provides#also wish I didn’t have to call them 3 times to get it scheduled but it is what it is#also also wish that I had fewer of the physical side effects of my anxiety and wouldn’t wake up puking the min things are rough#this is all to say: I want silly SW headcanons and droid headcanons and silly fic ideas and not Everyone is Always Suffering#but I’m also too lazy (I.e brain cannot make decisions rn) to search for new tags that may give me more silly#which means time to browse my bookmarks for good good comfort fics I have saved I suppose#(this is lowkey why i want to physically fight everyone i know who’s like ‘yeah meds would help but idk :/‘ like!!!!!!!!#bro it’s a privilege to have access to meds and it’s a privilege to have a body that doesn’t turn on you the min you take one!!!!#just try 10mg of zoloft I would kill for 10mg of zoloft to not make me entirely incapable of functioning!!!)#I don’t mean that - you have a right to take or not take medication and everyone’s reasons may be their own#I just had my body and have some rough feelings around treating my issues being so expensive and inconvenient#and then feeling guilty b/c I know I’m lucky that I can afford it and can take off of work for it when I need to#like I am pretty lucky to have something that works and to have a care team that helped me get here#so I don’t wanna be ungrateful or unappreciative of my own luck in this and the work that went into getting here#I’d just also like it if I could change the circumstances slightly#make treatment on the weekends an option - get my psych office to have more than 2 trip sitters so scheduling isn’t so bad
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I hope that, in light of his increased popularity because of the movie, that Miguel O’Hara shows up in more Spider-Man media. Like, outside of the Spider-verse movie trilogy.
I see him a lot in his white suit on random merch, usually in the background, but amongst Peter and Miles. Sometimes with Gwen and Anya too.
Marvel has had no problem de-aging characters for media purposes before. Peter has been aged up n down all over the place, and even Tony Stark has been de-aged for a cartoon before, so it’d be cool to see a younger Miguel heroing alongside Miles n Peter.
I could see a teen Miguel getting trapped in the past due to some plot-related future shenanigans. The implication of how he obtained his spider half would be more horrific since he’s younger, but that can be alluded to and left to fanfiction if needed. (But is important to his character and shouldn’t be removed or diluted!)
I just wanna see a teen Miguel having some fun with Peter n Miles (while still being our favorite sarcastic ass).
#age-wise I could see Miguel being younger than Peter and older than Miles#would probably also help his image to show him more actively heroing since atsv hasn’t painted him in the best light to a lot of people#Miguel O’Hara is a hero too dammit#I was staring at my Spider-Man blanket a little too long while refusing to get out of bed this morning#Miguel’s white suit makes him look younger to me for some reason#not that he couldn’t be a teen his blue/black suit cause I’d love that too#it just so happens that most of the merch I see is him in his white suit amongst other teen/young adult Spiders#I’m kinda getting desperate for content#the fanfics have slowed to trickle and that makes me sad#I have like 3 plot ideas that I would like to write#but I’m not a writer#I’m begging to see fic updates#but I realize that most of these authors are probably in school and this have more important things to do#and I guess the hype died for a lot of people already#so I’ll probably have to wait til Beyond for another influx 😭#which is why I hope Miguel starts showing in other shows/movies/games to give variety and spark interest#morning thoughts#spiderman#miguel o'hara#spiderman 2099#I don’t have much work to do atm#can you tell? lol
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2024 affirmation: I will not dislocate my knee
#genuinely will be my thirteenth reason if this happens again and i’m not joking#i don’t think most of the people in my life get it. they don’t get what it’s like for every single step you take to cause you pain#for MONTHS on end. this started in MAY#and they don’t get what it’s like to have pain when you’re just standing up. or to worry that your knee is randomly going to give out on you#and that that’s going to be it this time and you’re going to need a knee replacement#OR; maybe worse; that your Other knee which has never given you a single problem will suddenly decide to give out (maybe due to all the#strain that’s been on it) and you’ll have to walk like a crab until that one heals#or to wonder if you’re just malingering and being too lazy. meanwhile doing all the exercises that your physio recommends you#+ taking a pilates class + buying a walking pad and trying to walk on it 5 days a week#+ going on a diet; cutting down on salt and overly processed food in the hope it’ll give you more energy#so you can exercise more and drop some excess weight so there’s maybe less strain on your knees and ankles#(or at the very least build muscle rather than fat so that the muscles are just better)#not to mention that nobody knows what the fuck is wrong with me. x-ray came back clear apart from ‘fluid on the knee’#which by the way - has never actually gone away? that x-ray happened on the 5th of july. i’d been injured for 6 weeks already by then#i still get this godawful like.. almost Bubble of fluid on the top right of my kneecap whenever i’ve been walking a lot#coming up on five months and i still have swelling. why. i’ve iced it into fucking oblivion#my doctor thought i had a hamstring tear. nope. my physio can’t find anything structurally wrong with me#we fixed the quad lag and my complete lack of ability to straighten the leg#but i still have pain and i still have discomfort and i still limp and i still feel like my kneecap is floating in a fucking soup#at this point i wonder if i have arthritis and nobody has noticed. the knee is crunchy. 🥴#all of it just makes me feel like i’m going insane. i fell and i was like ‘oh i’ll be fine in two weeks’#two weeks later i couldn’t even walk unassisted. like.#what did i doooooooo. why does no one seem to know. why does nothing show up on tests. idgi#personal#rant
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Hmm
#pondering#I can’t believe it’s been a year since I gave up on my last crush#it seems like so long ago I feel like I’ve lived eight lifetimes since then#but it also feels like just yesterday#and yet I feel so…. distant from him#I mean I also never see him anymore#the only reason I did then is because I’d seek him out#and even then….#idk what I’m trying to say#just that things change#and myself of two years ago would be amazed#that I’m able to have a normal life and think about him minimally and painlessly#because two years ago I was in the DUMPS#I went through this intense phase where I just felt like I *had* to be with him and got to the point where I’d just cry out of fear that#that I’d die before I got a chance to make him fall in love with me#it was so bad I was so paranoid and lovesick and and and.. ough#I still remember that night so well#it was also a Wednesday like today and it had been an awful day and I had a headache#and I just thought. I can’t take this anymore. where are we even going. he’s never going to notice me never#i GIVE UP#it was mostly an impulse but looking back I’m so glad I followed that particular impulse#it’s like when Edmund walked out of Mary’s house not because he was super resolved but more on an impulse of the moment#just felt like the thing to do. and I may have regretted it once or twice afterwards but in the end it absolutely WAS the right call#and a couple months later YOU-KNOW-WHO showed up#absolutely insane events happening to me last year.#but now I feel like the girl from that one video#“girl who is going to be okay” djdjdhdh#but really! I will be!#and I am even! just taking it one day at a time#elly's posts
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Please reblog for more results :)
#tbb#tbb tech#poll#star wars tech#Tech’s goggles#the tech girlies are getting to me#I’m starting to like him to the point of possible blorbo#but wrecker’s still my favorite#but also TECH#I NEED TO GIVE HIM ATTENTION TOO#and I’ve been wondering this for a bit#and thought I’d do a funny#also if there’s a canon reason#like it’s confirmed that he’s blind or some shit#(not rlly blind but yknow what i mean)#I’m gonna be sad if everyone just picks the canon answer :/#anyways#please reblog#for more results :)#also in one of the options#by ‘brothers’ I mean Wrecker#cuz there ain’t no way he wouldn’t make fun of tech#at least not at the age that he would’ve been when he would’ve given tech the glasses ( young cadet or something)
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okay facing consequences of my actions
#I thought I’d gotten away with it this time#okay it’s 3am and I may have discovered something that completely ruins me#everyone is asleep so I can’t tell if this is me being sleep deprived or not!#so I need to sleep now but I haven’t cleaned my code up or written my answers#I do Not have time#if I don’t sleep now I’m gonna be having a bad time tomorrow morning and I am significantly less productive rn than I could be#with other people around I kinda need that y#so I should go to bed. but also. this code needs cleaning. but also. even if I fall asleep now I’m only getting like 5 hours MAX#I need a good few hours tomorrow morning to have a shot at doing this properly#so it would be more useful to sleep now and wake up as early as possible than keep going tonight bc I’m not going to finish tonight#okay. fuck. I hate this#if I could think straight I’d be able to fix this easy which is probably a good reason to sleep#it’s just an annoying logical problem that I gotta follow through bc currently I’m stuck between three possibilities and there might be more#I have these two rasters and I gotta calculate the area overlap#the first method counts the number of presence points in each (probably) and then counts the number in overlap raster w manually set values#the second counts total predicted points and points where they’re predicted to be alone and does a calculation with that for each species#that one with all points from both species + pseudoabsence. vs method 3 which does that with just individual species coordinates#method 1&2 are now homologous now I JUST caught the logical error but method 3 is what he gave us#but actually he might have fucked up in not including pseudoabsence#i don’t know if method 3 works for two different species either honestly#it gives me results I like much more (my overlap is 100% for one of the species and that shoooouldnt rlly happen even if it’s possible) but#I think it might actually just be wrong because it can’t account for#wait so the line is taking the prediction for all coordinates for each species for each species’ initial coordinates. and not pseudoabsence#and that set of predictions for each species coordinate set is then taken and yeah it’s no longer comparable you can’t count each alone#not with two different species bc you need an overlapping dataset to do that OKAY I have solved that logical problem my initial method works#which is annoying bc the result sucks but whatever I checked the rasters and it’s actually identical so#okay now I’ve figured that out. twenty minutes later. sleep I think it’ll help most#luke.txt
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I hate school so fucking much lol and I always just thought I was taking too many credits but this semester I finally took a normal amount of credits and it doesn’t matter. It’s not the amount of classes, it’s just having any classes at all. I feel like there was definitely a time where I could handle it but not anymore lmfao… this place was crazy. Sent me into my first real and scary panic attack, broke me out in stress hives, ruined my sleep, turned me into a mega hater…. smh. I know it could be a million times worse so I feel bad for complaining but it was not cool. All I can hope for is that my degree and good grades that I damn near died trying to get for literally no reason do me some good in real society tho I doubt it lmao
#like why did I try so hard lmfao…… I don’t need a 4.0 I’m not going to grad school I’d rather kms#I don’t know. I didn’t realize I was trying that hard I just thought that’s how hard I was supposed to try#IDK!!!!#I have never been good at knowing how much effort to put into things my entire life#I give everything 110 percent when it feels like I’m giving it like. Idk. 80 percent#everyone calls me a perfectionist and IM NOT TRYING TO BE LOL I don’t know how to gauge what I can or can’t be dismissive of!!!#it’s hard for me to discuss this problem I have without it sounding like I’m being like ‘omg I’m so smart that I do everything perfect by#accident’#THATS NOT WHAT I MEEEEAAAN#whatever#some people’s mental health issues make their grades tank but I have never had below an A- in my life and if u ask me that is also#indicative of an issue like LOL. if your child is like that then get them help for fucking real#ugh I love my mom and it’s not her fault but when I was a kid I was literally bawling and having stress headaches and canker sores DAILY#after school and being unable to sleep because I was so afraid of going the next day#and she was just like. ‘I was like that too :) it’s normal. you’re just a perfectionist’#ACTUALLY IM SCARED OUT OF MY MIND FOR NO REASON but okay#ok sorry let me just shout out some gratitude tho to the handful of teachers I had who were epic and had swag#I loved them#they didn’t make up for the rest of this bullshit though LOL
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