#i hope that this year will bring you happiness good health good luck

[sisididis]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY @reallunargift!

Guess who's using his last cents after a night out to wish you a very happy birthday? I hope you're leaning in extra close, because Port has to make himself heard over the pimba playing in the background!

[saintslewis]

𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐙𝐄𝐑𝐎 𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑 | 𝐋𝐇𝟒𝟒

— drabble.

pairing: sir lewis hamilton x black fem!reader

summary: the sun shined on the man himself, the one to break records, the one to raise the golden trophy.

warnings: outfit links, cussing, loads of happy tears, suggestive themes.

saint’s team radio 🪩: lewis mf hamilton won his 104th so you knowwwwwww i had to do it. thank you all for 1k and this is just the start of the celebration. congratulations to my husband 🥳 tags down below! (i put nads in the header but shhhhh)

pls like, comment and reblog 💗

Tying your shoelaces, you stood up straight and looked at yourself in the mirror. Fidgeting around with your hair and jewellery, you took several breaths to calm yourself down.

The previous day, Lewis took p2 for qualifying. It’s a well known fact that Silverstone is his playground but anything could happen, this race could go any which way and that’s what scared you the most.

“Should I take a jacket?” You called out to Lewis who was in his closet, most likely picking out his jewellery. “It won’t get too cold but I’ll take one for you.” He spoke, stepping out of the closet in his red ensemble, donning different types of pearls this time around and his black timbs shining.

Your eyes fell to his silhouette in your peripheral view and you turned your head so that your gaze fell upon him. He looked good, his head was high as he strode into the room with a special aura around him. You were always someone who had faith in anything Lewis does on track, no matter the place he finishes the race in, often treating a P7 like a podium.

The past two and a half years have been incredibly tough on Lewis and his mental health, often bringing himself down in the expense of his team’s terrible strategies. Finding it hard to wake up each and every day with a pained smile on his face whenever he walked into any paddock around, he knew he had his family as his biggest cheerleaders. Including you. In your wedding vows, he acknowledged how eternally grateful he was for you even after all the hardships he endured.

“Are we seriously matching?” Your shoulders dropped once you realised you were both wearing red. “I don’t know, I find it cute.” He smiled, giving you a wink and a pat on the ass before walking out of the room. Shaking your head, you fixed up your appearance before reaching for your handbag and you were out of the house in the nick of time. Confirming the logistics of bringing Roscoe along, you hopped in the same SUV and headed off to the track.

SILVERSTONE CIRCUIT

You poorly underestimated the weather that Silverstone would bring but as your husband promised, you had a jacket around your shoulders since the weather was predicted to change during the race. As nervous as you were, you walked and spoke with pure confidence.

Ever since you stepped in the paddock, eyes never strayed from the Hamilton family, more than usual. You had brushed it off and stayed in the garage along with your in-laws, your arms were around Willow’s shoulders as the national anthem concluded and teams were ready to start the race.

“Hopefully we’ll hear that again.” Carmen smiled at you as she took her seat next to you. “I’m hoping for a trophy lift of some sort.” You returned the smile and placed Willow on your lap as you sat down.

Anthony had appeared on screen, standing by Lewis with a straight face while looking at his son fix his balaclava. Anyone with eyes knew the energy that exuded from the 5 second clip, that was Lewis’ dad knowing that his son was not going to finish lower than P4.

You had already given him good luck hugs and kisses but your hands were still shaking because you knew anything could happen. Your heart calmed when your eyes landed on the crowd across the track and how so many of them were there to cheer for Lewis. Seas of the neon yellow your husband donned were strategically positioned in front of his garage and you could feel the support from your seat.

From lap 20, you couldn’t sit still but you tried your best to keep your seat as he stayed within the top 4. The beast that was the w15 was swiftly moving across the track and never slid even when the rain appeared.

George’s car rolled in the car after it was announced that he would retire from the race and your heart slightly sank although it made you slightly happy. The drivers behind Lewis weren’t exactly kind when it came to fighting for the number one spot but they hadn’t raced against Lewis in a long time so they were messing up strategies left right and centre as Lewis drove.

He was reminding people who the fuck he was in real time.

By the time the McLarens and the singular Ferrari had pitted by lap 44, you knew Lewis had this win or at least second place but your husband doesn’t exist to be second. You stood from your seat and joined Anthony at the edge of the garage, your right hand on your chest as your breaths became quicker with your left hand on your hip.

Tears prickled your eyes as Lewis stayed the race leader and as lap 52 began, a tear of joy slid down your face with the pit team already climbing the fence right next to the finish line. The crowd’s cheers overpowered that of Mercedes’ garage as the sun shined on his car, the top of his helmet glowing.

“Oh my God!” You screamed, your hands flailing about as your father in law celebrated next to you and eventually brought you into a bear hug. A wave of different emotions came over you as you tried to catch your breath and you were able to compose yourself as cameras came rushing to the garage.

Walking with your in laws to parc femme, you watched Lewis park the car and wrap the flag around his shoulders, the crowd cheering even louder than before. He embraced his father and you could see his shoulders slightly bouncing and your heart was pounding at the thought of him crying under the helmet. Eventually prepping himself for his post-race interview, he ran over to where you stood with his family.

His eyes caught your tearful ones just after he let go of his mom’s face. The smile that spread across his face was pure joy and his eyes held so much warmth even though he was a few meters from you. He quickly strode to you and you opened your arms to lock around his neck.

“I’m so proud of you, my love. So proud.” Your voice shook as you moved to hold his face. “I love you.” He said, kissing your forehead and blinked away the tears threatening to fall from his eyes. “I love you so much, thank you.” He repeated, squeezing your waist a little then let go of you. Before you could respond, Lewis sent back a smile as he had to continue the interviews.

The podium was as magical as the win itself, drops of the champagne landed on you as he sprayed the crowd but you didn’t mind. Anything to see him smile like he had on that podium.

-

“King of Silverstone, huh?” You smiled as you walked out of the bathroom clad in a silk robe with a surprise hidden underneath. Lewis looked up from his phone, his back against the headboard. Just like the morning before, his gaze fell on your body and he could not take his eyes off you.

He quickly glanced at the time, the digital clock reading 4 am and he thought you two would be utterly exhausted after his celebration party but you had proved him wrong. You sashayed onto the bed and sat next to him with your knees underneath you, his head following you throughout.

“You have no idea how much you mean to me.” Lewis spoke, itching to touch you as his eyes wandered to the cleavage your silk robe displayed as you sat close to your husband. “I’m so proud of you, my love. Never giving up and staying strong throughout everything you went through is admirable.” You praised, your hand at the back of his head with your nails lightly scratching his nape. Although you could tell he was not paying attention.

“Lewis?”

“Hm?”

“Did you hear anything I said?” You chuckled and his eyes finally connected with yours. “Uh…yeah.” He tried to give you an answer but his eyes were then glued on your glossy lips.

Smiling at your husband’s actions, you reached for the knot of the robe and slowly began untying it. “Since today is your day,” Sliding off the soft material of your shoulders, you continued. “You can do whatever you want to me.” Your words were soft yet seductive.

“Anything?” Lewis questioned.

“You deserve it, Sir.”

saint’s notes: i did NAWT mean to take this long with this, oh em gee. i hope you guys love it and yes, i’m still living off the high from July 7th 🫶🏽

tags: @mauvecherie-writes @non-stop-imagines @exotic-iris13 @yeea-nah @cocobutterqwueen @queenshikongo3 @saturnville @serpenttines-library @emjayewrites @arshiyuh @motheroffae @henneseyhoe @shhhchriss

[nexerist]

Moon looks so cute Sun looks absolutely adorable. Give them snuggles now! Happy new year, as always, I am FASHIONABLY LATE. May this year bring you much love and joy. I hope you have good health, luck, and blessings. Let's make 2024 a good year together. Much love, Nexi

[enchanting-jewel]

New Years Spell Jar

Manifest everything you want for the New Year!

Gather all of your ingredients. You'll need an empty jar & an incense. I prefer Sandalwood for protection.

A white candle to represent purity and protection.

A coin to bring you luck and prosperity.

You can write wishes/intentions on a piece of paper or bay leaves. If it's multiple, burn them first in your cauldron then add the ashes to the jar.

Cinnamon to draw in money and protection.

Depending on your intention, add salt. White is for purity and protection. Pink is for protection and relationships. Black is to banish negativity and protection.

Black pepper is for banishing negativity and protection from evil.

Basil is used for love, money, and protection. It will help you move forward in a positive manner despite perilous danger.

Rosemary can be used for good health, improve memory, and love/lust.

And lastly, lavender. Lavenders magical uses include love, protection, healing, sleep and peace.

Cleanse yourself and utensils. Don't forget the jar too. Use the incense smoke. Layer your ingredients into the jar thinking of and speaking your intention for each one out loud and imagining it as if it has already happened.

When you're done, put the top on and seal with the white candle wax. You can add twine and a charm to represent what you'd like for your new year.

I like to say a chant or prayer while I do this. A good one for this would be:

Blessed tidings of good cheer

as we see the end of another year

may the new year bring me joy

may the new year bring me hope

may the new year bring me peace

may the new year bring good health

and maybe a little wealth

with love and light ever after

please don't forget the laughter

with harm to none nor return unto me

as i will it so shall it be.

It all depends on your intention.

Here are a few other things you can add to your new years jar:

Egg shells - strength, rose - happiness, all spice - energy, mint - safety, thyme - courage, lemon balm - friendship, holly - protection, vervain - health, coves - luck and sage - cleansing. You can add anything that pertains to your intention/wishes.

Good luck witches and happy new year to all!

[ledalasombra]

My not so normal little sister

Chapter 2: Family is much more than blood

“ Time is a funny thing, did you know? The future becomes the present and the present becomes the past. Time is always dynamic…" Ladybug looked at her friend, Bunnix, before replying.

"My presence here is already altering our timeline. The more information I have, the greater the change. We know how dangerous messing with the timeline is...."

"That's true. But I also know that sometimes changes are necessary to keep the universe in balance. It was necessary to bring you here today, because if the league of assassins has access or greater knowledge about the Miraculous, the result is much worse. Take care of yourself, mini Bug." Bunnix smiled slightly seeing her friend walk towards the portal, holding her by the shoulder before she left. "Before you go, keep in mind two things: family doesn't depend on blood and you'll lose a lot if you don't go after yours..." Ladybug looked at her not understanding what she was talking about, frowning slightly, but before she could ask what it was about, Bunnix continued "and remember forgiving is not just good for the other person, but for your happiness as well. When you think all is lost, use these two pieces of advice I'm giving you. This will help you to move forward. You have a life, put your happiness ahead a little.”

Marinette woke up startled, trying to orient herself from where she was. She tightened the sheets with her fingers, letting her breathing return to normal, startled at the sound of her Kwami's voice.

" You need to sleep, Marinette." Said a thin voice lying beside her on the bed. She was going to the hospital the next day and was so nervous that just thinking about it, she couldn't close her eyes.

"Easy to say but difficult to do Tikki." She took a deep breath " I'll check some emails and then I'll try to sleep again. I'm nervous, anxious, tired…"

"I know, but it's going to be alright! Don't worry about it."

"Yeah, I really hope so Tikki. We have no way of knowing really ...." she replied as she scanned the emails, stopping at one where the last name caught her attention. It had been more than three days since Peter had given her the name of the boy who was Janet Drake's son, and after a little investigation by her friend (an investigation she is even afraid to ask how it was done), she discovered that there is a chance that she was changed in the hospital." Tikki, is it just a coincidence that my client has the same surname as the boy who could be my brother?" She asked after a while, looking at the little Kwami in front of her.

"Coincidence or fate? Her soul was chosen to be Ladybug. Luck is with you… you just need to know how to use it." The little kwami smiled "You can only know if you ask, don't you think?"

She thought for a few minutes weighing the pros and cons reading and rereading the email in front of her.

From: mdc@mdcfashiondesign.com

To: ceo_timdrake@we.com

Subject: Absence

Hi, how are you? It is a pleasure to receive your contact email!

Unfortunately, due to health reasons, I will be away for a few weeks and will not be fulfilling/accepting any requests. But don't worry, as soon as everything returns to normal, I'll be contacting you personally and, if there's still interest, I'll be scheduling an appointment.

I hope you stay well!

Sincerely,

MDC

-------------------

From: ceo_timdrake@we.com

To: mdc@mdcfashiondesign.com

Subject: Re: Absence

MDC,

I hope it's nothing serious and that you can recover as soon as possible. I'm a huge fan of your work and I believe you are one of the best fashion talents of this century.

I look forward to your health improving.

My greetings,

Timothy Drake

----‐----------------------------

Marinette looked at the email again and decided that she needed to at least try. Years ago she stopped trying to understand how the universe worked, accepting the chances that were handed to her. Fate works in different ways. She took a deep breath, sat up comfortably and wrote the guy an email.

------------------------------

From: mdc@mdcfashiondesign.com

To: ceo_timdrake@we.com

Subject: Information and doubts (curiosity)

Monsieur Timothy Drake,

How are you? I hope you're well. The reason for my contact is for a personal question, which has nothing to do with my work or yours.

Forgive my total intrusion and indiscretion, but your surname is familiar to me. Are you by any chance the eldest son of Janet Drake? If this is being too rude of me, please disregard this email.

Sincerely,

MDC

-----------------------

Tim sighed heavily as he stared at the scream in front of him. He has always considered himself a person with a high intellect with an ability to understand and correlate data very easily. He has always considered himself a great detective, looking at different types of information, analyzing different situations, and despite his constant ability to stay awake for a long period of time, he hardly ever let anything slip out of his knowledge. However, upon receiving an email from his favorite fashion designer, he was surprised and a little intrigued. How did she know his parents? His curiosity got the better of him when he decided to answer the email and try to understand what that strange question was about. He finished the coffee he was currently drinking, checking the time on the computer in front of him. He had a meeting in an hour and his secretary would surely come to let him know. He read the email again before starting to type.

---------------------------------

From: ceo_timdrake@we.com

To: mdc@mdcfashiondesign.com

Subject: Re: Information and doubts (curiosity)

Dear MDC,

You can call me Tim since that's what everyone normally calls me.

I am an only child and yes Janet and Jack Drake were my parents. Did you happen to know them? I confess that I was surprised and confused by this question.

Awaiting return.

Regards,

Tim

----------------------------

Marinette could barely contain herself in bed, waiting anxiously for an answer. She decided to get up and make some tea, as she was still within the allowed time to eat before being admitted to the hospital. She set out her cup and a soothing tea while she waited for the water to heat up, when she heard the notification of incoming messages in her cell phone. She picked up, seeing the response and opening the email almost immediately. She poured the water into her cup, taking it to her room, already picking up the computer that was open on her email, formulating a response that wasn't confusing and inappropriate.

-------------------------

From: mdc@mdcfashiondesign.com

To: ceo_timdrake@we.com

Subject: Re: Re: Information and doubts (curiosity)

Tim,

I believe that before starting any explanation, a proper presentation should be made. My name is Marinette Dupain - Cheng and although I grew up and lived in Paris all my life, I was born in Gotham.

I haven't met them personally, but I have a rather intriguing question. I hope you understand that what I will share with you is confidential and personal, just like my name. I believe that if it were not for the situation currently presented, I would not be disclosing such information. Therefore, I would like nothing disclosed here to be commented on. I'm trying to believe that with the reputation you have in the business, information that was passed by a close friend of mine, and NDA documentation already signed in advance, we don't have a problem with breaches of confidentiality.

On the day of my birth my parents were traveling and they visited Gotham. On the same day, a little earlier, there was an attack by some villain with hostages which apparently led to a large number of people being hospitalized. I don't particularly have details of what happened, but from what I understand, the hospitals were full and our mothers ended up sharing a room while they were in labor. The two gave birth to girls with dark hair and blue eyes, however of the two girls only one survived. For health reasons and some necessary tests, I ended up discovering that my parents are not my biological parents.

A friend from New York and I started an investigation to find out what happened and that's when I came across your parents' names. I'm sorry if I'm being a bit vague, but all the information I have will be sent to you as an attachment. Understand, I don't want anything from you or your family other than wanting to understand what happened over 20 years ago.

If you don't want to get involved with this situation, I understand. It's a bit complicated and I believe that not everyone involved wants or will try to help me solve this case.

I hope you understand my side. The attached documents can be found at the hospital.

Regards

Marinette

---------------------------

When Tim decided to reply to the message, he didn't expect that, after a few minutes, he would get an answer. When he heard the incoming message signal and read its entire contents, the young CEO nearly fell out of his chair. He opened the submitted documents and, to be sure, looked at the hospital documentation. It took less than 20 minutes for him to confirm that the documentation she was presenting was genuine. It was all right! He had a sister and no one told him. He must have been five, almost six when she was born, but there is no record of her anywhere in the house. His parents wouldn't hide something so important! Tim took a deep breath, squeezing his temples with his fingertips. Was it too much to ask for a late afternoon without any problems?

"Tam? Could you bring me one coffee? I'm trying to sort out some issues and it would really be nice to have a cup at the moment..." He heard the confirmation on the other end of the line and went back to analyzing the information in the documents he received and decided the best start would be to request a DNA test and, if so, look for the nurse who attended to the two families. He was still in disbelief that his own parents had hidden his sister's birth. Although, who he wanted to fool, he knew Jannet and Jack Drake better than anyone and he knew that yes, his parents would hide information like that.

He spent a few minutes thinking about what to do and the implications of what was said. She must have been switched at the hospital and there's a chance she's his sister. But how? Reluctantly, he looked at the email, rereading it completely, until he resolved to respond.

-----

Marinete was already in his bed, in her apartment, lying down and trying to sleep. She was thoughtful looking at the ceiling. She couldn't sleep! She had so much going on at once that she felt lost. Fate always knows where to direct things. Was that what Alix tried to warn about following her family, what she felt and knowing how to forgive?

"family doesn't depend on blood and you'll lose a lot if you don't go after yours... and remember forgiving is not just good for the other person, but for your happiness as well. When you think all is lost, use these two pieces of advice I'm giving you. This will help you to move forward.”

Marinette stared at the ceiling for a few minutes thinking. She has always considered herself a person with a great ability to understand different situations and assess everyone's side so as not to be unfair. She ran her hands over her face, glancing at the clock on the table beside her bed that read 00:30 in the morning. It had been almost forty minutes since she had sent the last email to the person who could be her brother and she didn't know if she was right to just dump everything to the guy via email. She looked to the side seeing Tikki and Plagg hunched over each other exhaling in frustration until she heard a message beep on her cell phone. She looked at the phone opening the email as soon as she received it.

---------------------------------

From: ceo_timdrake@we.com

To: mdc@mdcfashiondesign.com

Subject: doubts

Marinette/MDC

While I'm ecstatic to know who you really are (believe me, I've been crazy about this information for a while) I'm simultaneously shocked and not knowing what to think. I confess that I was not aware that I had a sister, much less that she apparently passed away. I was very young and I don't remember very well what happened at the time.

I will look for the nurse and try to understand in my own way what is happening. I am as lost as you are and I hope we can understand the facts that led to our present. First, I suggest that we do a DNA test to be sure whether or not we are brothers. Please don't take my words and think it's a matter of mistrust. However, I must emphasize that the question itself is very delicate and it would not be prudent to assume something so important as true.

Really, I'm speechless and still trying to understand everything you told me. Technically, I'm the only family member alive and finding out that I might have a sister is shocking to say the least. I hope you understand my side, because after more than twenty years finding out that my parents had another child and I wasn't even aware of the event is a little worrying.

I await your return so we can try to move forward with the situation.

Tim

---------------------------------

Tim read the email several times before hitting send. He was sure he couldn't take her word for granted, but he also didn't want to sound rude and simply say he distrusted the person who greatly admired the work. He had or had a sister and it didn't get out of his mind. He started doing a general check on the life of the person who could be his only blood family starting through her social media and then would check her entire history. He wasn't considered one of the best detectives in the world for nothing.

After about twenty minutes of looking at social media, Tim can see that Marinette was a very beautiful woman, she undeniably had her mother's features and, in a way, could say that she would pass for her sister very easily because they looked alike. She had friends in a high social circle, studied for a few months in New York, where she has work contacts. She was undeniably a charismatic person and much loved by people who frequented her social networks and had great admiration and respect for her parents. He smiled slightly at the knowledge that she had a different childhood from his.

Taking a deep breath, he slumped against the chair as he ran his hands through his hair. He saw his secretary enter the room to remind him of the meeting he was supposed to go to and that he had no mind at the moment. He got to his feet, turning off the computer, not hearing the signal of new email arriving on his cell. He walked to the room where he would have the last board meeting of the day.

After getting out of yet another one of the many useless meetings he attended, Tim headed straight home. He would thoroughly research the whole thing, starting with the night of his sister's birth. He quickly left his things in his room, heading straight for the cave, where it would be easier to do research. He had about two hours before the whole family showed up.

According to the death certificate, his sister's name was Mary Hellen Drake. Marinette wasn't such a far cry from Mary. He opened the email again to check the documents Marinette had sent when he realized there was an email he hadn't checked. He opened it immediately, checking that there were two documents attached, opening them in the background as he read her response.

----------------------------------------

From: mdc@mdcfashiondesign.com

To: ceo_timdrake@we.com

Subject: Re: doubts

Tim

I understand exactly what you mean and, again, I must stress that I have no interest in taking part in anything concerning your family other than knowing everything that has happened in the past. I have no resentment towards your words. Really, I'm relieved to know that I'm not the only one with misgivings on the subject.

My parents and I took the DNA test in 2 different laboratories, getting the same results in both. I am attaching the results in case you want to contact the laboratories. Trust me, my head is full of all the information. My parents are devastated, not knowing what happened to their biological daughter and worried about how I'm coping. They're trying to pass themselves off as strong, but I know it's hard. The pain in their eyes is visible and I haven't even had the courage to tell them that I started investigating what happened in the past. In short, they don't know about your parents, the nurse, your sister's death certificate or you.

Regardless of how this whole story will develop, I appreciate your attention and patience in the face of this whole issue. As I said in my initial contact email, I am taking a leave of absence due to illness. I'm going to have surgery tomorrow, so I won't be answering any kind of contact for the next few days. I'm sorry to have to throw all this information at you and just disappear, but I believe that fate must have given my life a little push right now. And who am I to ignore that?

Jokes aside, I hope we can work things out so to speak. As an only child (so far) I must say that while I'm excited about the development of all this, I'm also a whirlwind of positive and negative emotions, but I'll leave it to resolve later...

If all goes well, we'll talk at another time. For now, I will leave my personal phone number (+33 01 XXXX XXXX). Feel free to send me any message, but again, I won't be responding anytime soon.

Stay safe!

Marinette

------------------------------

As soon as he finished reading Tim felt a little lost in a mixture of despair and depression. If she was his sister, she was sick and he didn't even know what it was about. It had been more than two hours since she'd sent the last message, it was dawn in France and he didn't want to risk waking her up. He took a deep breath and decided to compartmentalize the information. Initially, he hacked into the labs' system, seeking her clinical results so he could match them to his DNA. As soon as he finished downloading the data, he left the computer doing the comparison between the data in the background as it would take some time to finish.

As soon as he got the computer working, he looked up her data from the Paris hospital systems and, after a while, was able to find her chart. She was due to go into surgery in a few hours to remove a brain tumor and the extent of her danger was not yet confirmed. He stared at the screen in front of him, as he heard the audible confirmation of data comparison.

Tim saved all the documents he found in a protected folder so that no one would see. In a mixture of nervousness and anxiety, he opened the program checking the genetic markers and the conclusion that indeed Marinette Dupain-Cheng was his biological sister.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

hi steph! i am an ao3 writer and have lost my previous tumblr account, but my ao3 still stands, however this is not about it - i just wanted to come here and say i appreciate you and your work so much, after all these years you are such a safe space and your notifications always bring a smile to my face even if i am very busy with umiversity and work to check it all out, you recced my fics and you are such a supporter of all of us, we all love you! you are a godsend and the best johnlock auntie out there 💜

i hope you're doing better and that you have space for relaxation :) you deserve it!

sending you hugs and lots of love ❤️🤗 I'm attaching a picture of my doggo to bring you good luck! you have been blessed by the goodiest doggo 😇

Hi Witchy!!!

First of all, thank you SO much for your kind words about me and my blog. I am humbled that this place is a safe place for more people than just myself, and that so many of you come here just to find peace. Everyday I am floored by the kindness you guys show me and my randomness, and I try my best to do the same for y'all. It's hard since I struggle so much myself with mental health and stress, but I do enjoy being a resource people like coming to.

Secondly, DOGGO!!! oh gosh, your puppers is SO cute!! I miss having a dog, but I live vicariously through everyone else showing me pics of their furbabies, LOL.

Next, I'm sorry you lost your old account, but I'm so happy that you're still writing!!! I hope university is going well for you, and I wish you the all the best through that!!!!!

Thank you so much again for your lovely ask. You have made my evening (at the time of replying to this) and asks like this remind me that even though I'm nowhere near as "popular" as I once was, that people do still come here religiously to get their fi(x)cs, LOL.

Take care, Lovely!!!

And if anyone else wants to give me serotonin with their pets, I would be so happy 💜🖤

[bicayaya]

My dearest Beatrice,

I hope this letter finds you well.

I am writing to send you my wishes for a happy birthday, my soul sister. Your birthday is a joyful day for me, for it is the day we celebrate the life of someone very precious to me. And even if we are far, I hope you can feel my love and intentions through these words. I pray to the Goddess everyday to bless you and your family, and in special days like this I allow myself to be greedy and ask for double happiness, love, health and prosperity for you. I never forget to be grateful as well. You are gift to me, and your joy is my joy.

This letter may arrive after Luna's. She couldn't wait to send hers, and asked Liam to include it along with her father's letters to Rhodolite. He never says no to her. I hope you didn't think it meant I wouldn't send you one, or that I, Keith and the kids wouldn't send you gifts. You are important to all of us, and always bring us happiness whenever we see you.

Aster is sending you a pink orchid brooch because it's pretty like you. Helia made you a good luck charm. Iris wanted to give you a pair of gloves that I believe are more suitable for Winter. Aurora and Cosmos drew you pictures of everyone together in a tea party, in their own little style. Keith's gift will go with his letter, and I hope you like it (Yves helped him choose, but don't tell them that I told you - I just wanted to let you know once again that I'm happy he is a good and thoughtful husband to you).

Thank you for your presence in our lives. And thank you for being my best friend during all this time. You had received me with open arms in Rhodolite and had showed me nothing but love and kindness ever since. Words cannot express how precious you are to me. You'll always have a home in my heart, my dear sister.

Hope you have a great and beautiful birthday, and that all your wishes come true.

Happy birthday!

With love,

Maeve Howell

My dearest Maeve,

First of all, Luna is a gem. I figured she wanted to be the first one to send me something, she’s always so sweet. All your kids are!

Thank you so much for the birthday wishes, my dear soul sister. If you notice a few tear stains on this letter - no, you did not! Just kidding, you of alll people know how emotional I am, and reading your words made me feel so loved I couldn’t help a few tears - happy tears - from falling. Thank you for so many years of friendship, you’re a sister the universe gifted me with. I can’t wait to travel to Jade again to see you and your family.

Please say to your kids how much I loved all their gifts. I’ll treasure them forever, they’re all lovely. Aurora and Cosmos’ drawings are already framed in my library, Helia’s lucky charm is in my bedside table and I already told Luna that I’m wearing the perfume she made me almost every day. I’ll saving Aster’s brooch for a special occasion, maybe I can wear it at a summer festival there in Jade? And Iris’ gloves… well, they’re well kept in my wardrobe so I can wear them during the winter, they match perfectly with one of my favorite coats.

I’m sending a little note to Keith attached to this letter, to thank him for the beautiful gift. (Don’t worry, the fact that Yves helped him is a secret between you and I! Our husbands can be so adorable, am I right? Hihi).

I don’t even know how to explain how much I loved your gift. It’s so stunning! I can’t imagine the amount of trouble it must have been to send such a delicate and precious glass piece all the way to Rhodolite. It’s already decorating our house, and now it looks even better. You know me too well, thank you for the thoughtful gift.

Thanks again, my dear friend. For everything you do for me. I’m missing you lots.

With love,

Beatrice Kloss.

[wa-royal-tea]

— Beautiful Stranger; New Years’ Special

Previous | Beginning | Next

(Transcript under the cut - Click Pics for HQ Version!)

Note: Nobody asked for this but hey, I started last year with Child Rae so I thought I’d start this New Year with Young Adult Rae 😌 I think I’ve posted a still shot of this scene a year ago hmmm 🤔 Anyways, happy new year everyone! I hope this new year brings you guys good luck and great health! ❤ And thank you for sticking around with the Fredericks! ❤

Raeliana: Papa, I’m going out to the gardens.

Alfie: No, Rae. It’s night out there. I don’t want you to be alone.

Raeliana: I won’t be alone. I’m sure Uncle Leon has security all over the place.

Alfie: Rae...

Raeliana: I’ll be fine, papa. Promise.

Leon: If you’re that worried, I’ll have someone to accompany her.

Leon: Please accompany Princess Raeliana in the gardens. Keep her guarded at all times.

Security: Of course, your majesty.

Alfie: Thank you, Leon. Rae, don’t go too far. Alright?

Raeliana: I won’t.

Raeliana: You. What’s your name?

Danny: Danny, ma’am. Is there anything I can help you with?

Raeliana: I’m a bit cold. Can you go inside and get something to keep me warm?

Danny: But ma’am, the King ordered me to keep you guarded.

Raeliana: I won’t go anywhere. I’ll wait over here until you come back.

Danny: But your highness—

Raeliana: Please, Danny. I’m really cold. Do you want me to freeze to death? You’ll get in trouble if I become sick.

Danny: *sighs* Alright. I won’t be long. Don’t go anywhere, your highness.

Raeliana: Okay. I’ll be here...

Raeliana: *scoffing*...away from you.

???: Let me guess, you’re not a fan of big crowds?

Raeliana: Not really. It was just getting stuffy in there.

???: You know, you’re in the palace’s secret garden. No one knows this place existed.

Raeliana: How did you know, then?

???: I’m...familiar with this place.

Raeliana: Have we met before? You look familiar.

???: I’ve been told I have a common looking face.

Raeliana: I don’t think so. I’m sure we’ve met before.

???: It’s probably a look alike.

Alfie (in the background): Rae! Raeliana! Where are you?

Leon: I’m sure she’s around here. Danny, tell the others to look for her.

Alfie: We need to be quick. What if she was taken away a—

Leon: She’s not. There’s security all over the palace. No one is going to take her away. Guards! Search for the Princess now!

???: I think you should go. Your papa is looking for you.

Raeliana: Urgh. Can’t he give me some alone time?

???: Come on. I’ll show you the way out.

Raeliana: Thank you. Whoever you are.

???: Your welcome. Now go, before he loses his mind.

Raeliana: But I didn’t get your name.

???: It’s...

Alfie: Rae!

Alfie: Oh my god, you got me worried sick!

Raeliana: I’m fine, papa. I was just walking around.

Alfie: Danny said you disappeared after he went to get you a scarf.

Raeliana: I’m sorry...

Alfie: Please, Rae. Please, don’t do this again. The thought of you getting hurt is going to give me a heart attack.

Raeliana: I won’t do it again. Promise.

Alfie: Come on. Let’s go. Everyone is waiting for us. The countdown is starting soon.

Alfie: Rae? What are you looking at?

Raeliana: Oh, it’s nothing.

Alfie: Who was that guy earlier? He looked important.

Raeliana: I don’t know. I didn’t get his name.

[lestappenforever]

Okay so it’s been a while since I dropped you an ask (life and uni and mental health haven’t exactly been kind to me), but now I just couldn’t help myself.

So essentially, I’m currently sitting in my neurobiology lecture and can’t for the life of me focus, so what do I do? Correct, I catch up on HNTTWL, more specifically the powerpoint. And oh boy, did you deliver. I had to try so hard not to laugh out loud during the lecture.

a) Just Lestappen being their obnoxious, soulmatey, pda nightmare-ish selves, can’t get enough of them, seriously.

b) I absolutely adore George in this one! I could practically see 2019 him in the Rookie Of the Year video in front of me with his playful over-confidence and pretend cockiness, what a treat. Also him borderline bullying Lance for ignoring the group chat had me wheezing 💀

c) As someone who only recently got into F1 (although we’re admittedly coming up on a year), this is the perfect tldr/what happened before of Charles and Max and their clusterfuck of soul-intertwined-ness.

So to summarise, you have once again done the gods’ work and my love and appreciation for you and what you do still continues to grow. Thank you for making my day a bit brighter once again (at a time where I think we all need a little brightening in our lives).

Love you lots!!! 🧡

P.S.: When I first followed you I had no idea how you could possibly love RedBull (my dad drank a lot of it when I was a kid and let’s just say I was slightly traumatised by the smell of warm rb in an already stuffy car), but now half a year later here I am drinking my third of the day. Oh how the turn tables… On that note, I shall go catch up on the explanation of neurogenesis I missed 🙃

Ah, Marie, my love! I'm so sorry to hear you've been having a hard time. You don't deserve that at all, and I really hope things will turn around for you soon. 🧡

@f1writingbyme and I are so honored you risked looking through the PowerPoint in class! And we're so happy it could put a smile on your face, and good on you for managing not to laugh!

Honestly, making that PowerPoint and channelling my inner George Russell was so much fun, and having Ilse hype me up through it all and coming up with ideas was just a blast from start to finish. So I'm so glad you enjoyed looking through it!

Bringing a smile to somebody's face is my favorite thing in the world to do, so it fills me with joy to know I could do that with you today. And you're right, I think we could all use a little something to brighten up our lives at the moment.

I hope you know that your ask has put the biggest smile on my face, and that I love you very much. You're wonderful, and your presence never fails to make me happy. 🧡

Ohhhhhh, you've joined me in the Red Bull love, have you? 👀 Now I need to know which type it is you prefer.

Best of luck with your neurobiology lecture! You've got this!

[kirakirabluemoon]

Happy New Year and I hope everyone has a better year ahead! 🙆🏻‍♀️💖💖💖🌻🌻🌻🍀🍀🍀

I know this Author’s notes looks long, but please don’t panic. It’s just an update, I’m still working on Belladonna. 😊👍🏻💖🙆🏻‍♀️

This is an update to let y’all know how things been going with Belladonna’s Chapter 31. It is still unfortunately incomplete, but I promise I’m trying! 🌚🙏🏻 Still ironing out some details and Chinese New Year is coming, so spring cleaning and stuff is in order. So update is probably after February. 🌚🙏🏻 I’m very sorry. 🙃😔😭🙏🏻

These three paragraphs only regards my health in slightly more detail than the previous post, (why I haven’t been able to update) so you can just skip it if you’d like. 🙆🏻‍♀️💖 As I mentioned previously, my health has been fluctuating since June 2023, I haven’t been feeling very well so my writing took a hit (on top of writer’s block). 😩🫠 The symptoms thankfully wasn’t too serious, all things considered.🤞🏻My fatigue however was the most obvious, there was also low moods, insomnia (caused by heart palpitations) and etc. However, I’ve gotten my blood tested around November and I finally know what’s going on. So at least I now know how to reduce and regulate the symptoms, I’ve seen improvements and hopefully I’ll make a full recovery soon. 🙆🏻‍♀️💖🙏🏻

But then at the end of December, I was tested positive with covid. 🌚🌚🌚🫠🫠🫠 So my fatigue worsened. At this point it’s like a triple layered stack. First from my nightly dreams, second from the issue that started in June, then now from the covid. 🫠 I have tested negative after 6 days, but my doctor did warn me that some symptoms and inflammation will probably persist for about a month after turning negative and to not do strenuous exercises, (even something simple like brisk walk). I found out sometimes just eating a meal brings me shortness of breath and my heart rate would reach 106 or so and then I gotta lie down. Feels like my heart was copying that one meme on Facebook and saying, “If you don’t stop, I will.” 😮‍💨🌚🤣 The same goes for house chores, like changing the bedsheets. So yeah. But I’m still kicking—albeit weakly—AND my low moods had thank god not plagued me lately. 💖😮‍💨🙏🏻 Bless.

I’ll be trying to get a swing back into things while minding my energy, so my health doesn’t decide to give me a sucker punch to the gut. Or a left hook, I don’t know, it’s been years and it still likes to catch me by surprise. 🌚🤷🏻‍♀️🤞🏻 Despite the annoyances, I’m still very thankful it’s nothing too serious. At this point, I’ll just let it throw a fit wherever it wants, and then let it die down whenever, while trying to get on with my life and maintaining inner peace. 🙄😑🤦🏻‍♀️🤌🏻 I’m done trying to control it to go the way I want it to, cuz it backfired, badly. 🌚

Anyways, thank you all so much and I really really appreciate the immense patience, love and support my dear readers has shown for my stories. 💖🙆🏻‍♀️🍀 I know I haven’t been updating as much as I would have liked, nor anticipated, after I graduated from school five-years-turning-six-years ago, in fact I thought I’d be able to churn out more chapters, guess I sorely underestimated the full extent of the symptoms my health could throw at me. 🙃😔

I wish everyone good health—seriously please take good care of yourself, and may all the lovely and nice things in life, be it big or small, be enjoyed, celebrated, and appear whenever you need it. 🥰🙆🏻‍♀️🌈💖🌻🍀

The very best of luck for 2024 and the upcoming Year of the Dragon! God bless everyone! Cheers! 🎆🎇🎉🎊🐉🎊🎉🎆🎇

Until next time! 😘

Ps: My inbox told me I have a new message/submission but when I click on it, there’s nothing there. 🌚🌚🌚 If someone sent me an ask, I’m sorry but Tumblr won’t let me see it. 😭🙏🏻

[careless-angels]

5 days too late but HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL MY MUTUALS :)

Hope 2024 treats us all with warmth and kindness. May it bring us lots of good luck, fortune, happiness and most importantly good health. Love you all <3

P.S the motherboard of my phone randomly burned on January 1st so I've been basically phoneless since 2024 (what a nice gift for the new year lol) thanks god the warranty period is still in effect so rn I'm logged in on my laptop until I get a new replacement for free in a week or so. That's why I've been offline these days and wasn't able to wish a happy new year to my mutuals :( but I'm alive and well for those who are wonderingkddjjd

[toournextadventure]

im that girl with bday on 3rd april :))

just wanted to say that i alr lost 32 kg for last 1,5 years (by healthy way with deficit calories and gym here and there), im pretty lazy and even if i made it, then everyone who wants can make it

i believe in you all, wish good luck everyone to getting healthier body 💋💪🏻

p.s. coke zero for diets is nice (instead of usual sugar sodas) if u dont drink it much n everyday 😉

Ayyy, my dude, congratulations on your health journey! That's amazing progress, I'm so proud of you! Any amount of health is difficult, I'm extremely proud of you for keeping up with it for so long! (As long as it was your own choice, of course, y'all make sure and take care of yourselves) 🫶

Also yeah, any "zero" drinks are pretty good. I'm a carbonation addict (Dr. Pepper girlie here ✌️) so if I want something without quite as much sugar, I'll do a DP zero. I like zeros better than diets, personally

And again, I know it's much later this time, but happy birthday again, my dude! Take care of yourself, treat yourself well, you're doing amazing and I hope this next year will bring you happiness and joy in whatever form you wish 🫶

[foxbirdy]

What kinds of Interview questions do you get in your field? I totally bombed an interview and didn't get an internship I really wanted and I want to try and be more prepared next time.

Sorry to hear you blew an interview :( interviewing can for sure be tricky. I think interviewing strategies for field jobs definitely depend on what kind of job you're looking at, but I'll try to go over some interview questions I feel like I see often, and what I think people are looking for:

"Why are you interested in this position?"

- Be sure to give a multi-tier answer for this question, and bring up specifics about the job! Don't just say "it's in my field of study/chosen career" or "I want to get more experience." Say "I'm studying [field] because I'm interested in [something that's specific to that position], and I think this job would be a great way to channel that passion and develop those skills." If you have relevant experience, touch on that, too! Again, don't just say "I have experience in [field]," but do say "I know from past experience at [jobs] that this is work that I love and can excel at, and I'm looking for opportunities to continue that work." Make sure they understand that you are motivated and passionate! "I think this program is exciting, and I want to contribute."

"What experience do you have?"

- Including anything relevant! Hobbies, volunteer work, personal research, actual jobs - give them something to work with. Don't downplay your achievements! If they ask if you have a specific skillset that you don't have, don't lie (this can really bite you in a field job, where you can encounter dangerous situations), but say that it's a skillset you'd really love to learn. Especially if that skill is part of what drew you to the job! "No, I don't have that skill - this job drew my attention because I want to learn it." Have the audacity to believe you can learn anything if you try.

"Are you prepared for [xyz]?"

- Depending on the position, there can be a lot of challenges you face on the job! A lot of what hiring managers are screening for is a person who isn't going to quit (or become dangerous to themselves or others) if they have to sleep on the ground or eat weird food or deal with biting insects or encounter outdoor hazards. A person might be okay with those things for a few days or a week or a month - but what about three months? Six months? A year? If they care about their field workers, they're going to try and scare you in the interview with the worst that you could possibly expect, because that is their ethical obligation. It can be difficult or even impossible to take someone out of the field once they are there. My advice for giving your interviewer confidence about your ability to handle adversity is to a) share examples and stories of difficulty you've overcome at a job, and b) to talk about your strategies for managing your mental and physical health, including knowing when it's time to ask for assistance! Interviewers want to hear that the person they are hiring knows how to practice self-care that bolsters their resilience, and that they will talk to field support about problems they're having before it's a crisis.

"How do you manage interpersonal conflict?"

- Similar to the above, this question is an interviewer trying to ascertain that you won't turn into the Joker after you've been alone in a small group for a couple weeks. The bonds you form with your crew in remote fieldwork are intense, and so conflict can be equally intense! Make sure to talk about your strategies for managing healthy conflict, and emphasize open, honest, and vulnerable communication. Talk about how you keep cool in a crisis, and share stories and examples of overcoming difficulty and conflict in a team setting.

This obviously isn't everything you might get asked for an interview, but I hope it's a good look at what interviewers are looking for (at least in my experience). Good luck and happy trails!

[hopepunk-humanity]

Hey, I don't know if this is selfish to ask, but do you have any good hopepunk posts specifically related to disabilities? I'm only 19 years old but I have so so many health problems to deal with; weak bones, poor circulation, head rushes so bad I collapse on the floor, scoliosis, asthma, autism, severely tense and painful muscles, and like a million other things. I honestly don't know how long I'll live - I'm 19 and I already feel like my body's giving up, I have no idea if I can even make it to 30 at this point - but your blog and the hopepunk community make me feel better about that. This world is beautiful and I'm proud to have been a part of it, even for a shorter period of time than I'd like.

But it's still hard. It's hard to accept that I can't do things I used to be able to do. It's scary. And I'm insecure about not being like everyone else and not being able to support myself because of my disabilities. So I hope it's alright to ask if you have any hopeful posts for people like me. Thanks, Merry Christmas. I hope 2023 brings you, me and everyone who reads this post good things 💕

I'm afraid I don't have anything specific. And it's easy for me to say that your worth is inherent and not dependent on your usefulness to others, but I know that's not what most of the world is telling you.

I think it's less about what you offered the world while you were here, and more about the fact that you were here at all. So many small coincidences, stretching back eons, on levels as small as the bases in your DNA and as large as the moon pulling the tides, brought you here. We're all miracles born from luck, you included. I like to think that means something, even if you leave life without a trace. Though very few people manage to do that.

And maybe that's not comforting with the future staring you down. But, at least in my experience, the future is always a little bit kinder than I expected it. And even if it isn't, there's always an unexpected sweetness alongside the bitter. I hope you'll find the same is true for you as the future gradually softens to the present. Maybe you won't be able to do the things you could before, but I believe you'll find new things to embrace.

I'm happy you're proud to be here, and I'm happy that we got to share our short time in this world, even if we never met face to face. Many good things to you, and happy new years.

[otakusparkle]

Identity V 5th Anniversary is today!

All the Manor Residence is giving congratulations

(part 2)

Emma : Fifth anniversary at Eurydice Manor! How time flies, and the detectives have known each other for so long! Thanks to the detectives for their five years of company, Emma is very happy to have made so many new friends. In the days to come, please continue to enjoy the time's songs in Oletus!

Lucky Guy : Happy fifth anniversary! Continue to give this luck to everyone, and work hard together in the future! I hope that every wish of everyone will be successful!

Leo : Hey! Who arranged the fireworks when we just entered the door? It was so sudden and rude! There are so many children here, and there are always people who don't like these things, right? At least let me know in advance! Yes, of course I know what a conference this is!

Emily : During the 5th anniversary with all of you, there are really many beautiful memories, so precious. In the new year, I am still willing to use my ability to help everyone, and I wish everyone health and safety every day in the manor.

Freddy : It's an honor to meet all detectives. Celebrate the fifth birthday of the manor together. I will thank you all in the future!

Kreacher : Just look at this regal and gorgeous group of guests! Well, I mean, this big, boisterous celebration— What a great opportunity, the fifth anniversary celebration, Of course I want to participate!

Joker (Smiley) : A calm meeting needs a thrill, doesn't it? Let the scene liven up. crazy, ridiculous!!!

Martha : Best wishes for the 5th anniversary of Oletus Manor! Thank you detectives for your company all the way, and look forward to being with you in the future life of the manor. We cherish it all the way!

Bane : Happy new year. I'm just here to say hello, and I'm going back to the comb. By the way, please take care of those distinguished guests. But don't go my way.

Kurt : A new year, a new birthday, and a new adventure begins! Detectives, let's continue our journey in Oletus!

Naib : The fifth anniversary has come, thanks to the hard work of all detectives over the years. In the future, I will continue to stand shoulder to shoulder with you.

Servais : Great magic, Dedicated to the great stage! The 5th birthday celebration of Oletus with a gathering of talents and a large number of guests, Servi Le Roy's magic show. Welcome!

Jack : Thank you for the invitation, it is a great honor to participate in this party. This bouquet of roses is for you. Congratulations on the fifth anniversary.

William : Happy, happy birthday, happy fifth anniversary! By the way, don't drink too much, there is a ball game tomorrow! Banquets and celebrations, how can there be only one day!

Violetta : Wonderful meeting, wonderful performers. You invited me the other day and asked me if I would play here again. And will provide me with a lovely repertoire... you say respect my meaning... my thoughts are...

Tracy : Hey detectives, I have an anniversary gift for you this year too! "Tracy's custom..." Shhh. Where is the gift hidden in the manor? Let's look for it!

Helena : Detective, happy fifth anniversary to us together. I wish you a happy birthday party... Don’t bother you. I’ll just go there by myself.

Michiko : A lively banquet. The young people in common...all this is so familiar that people can't recall it.

Fiona : Thanks to the blessings of the gods, another birthday is coming, and we are here to meet. I also thank all the detectives for their support and having fun together.

Hastur : Responding to new feelings, this time brings blessings. Wishing you a happy 5th anniversary at Manor Oletus.

Vera : The fifth anniversary, how commemorative it is! The beauty and luxury I like are here, maybe you are the same?

Kevin : Ah, this grand scene, what, come to the compete! Ride or lasso? Heh heh... not too difficult for me.

Wu Chang : Thank you for your kindness, thank you for the invitation. I wish you good luck on your anniversary and every year.

Margaretha : Detective, it was a pleasure to meet you at this fifth birthday party. Come on, come to the middle of the stage, let's dance together!

Joseph : Thank you for the invitation, and congratulations to Oletus on the 5th birthday! I cherish the group photos of every new year. Do you want me to take a picture for you this time?

Eli : Another year of celebration is upon us. This day, which is my 5th birthday, is a peaceful and enjoyable day, so please rest assured, detectives.

Burke : I've already said don't bring me to this kind of place, the banquet, it's too noisy, these living things are so noisy! I still have something to do, when can I leave?

Aesop : Happy 5th Anniversary to Oletus Manor....Greatful.

Yidhra : Five years later, ten years, twenty years...then eternity?

Norton : Happy fifth anniversary, thank you for your invitation.

Patricia : Congratulations on the time we have spent together. The gods will protect every sincere blessing. Congratulations on our shared anniversary.

Robbie : Well, a lot of bread, cake and candy. Let me try it...it's delicious! Thank you for the treat! By the way, can I take a some to home? Yes for my sister.

[succubusphan]

Two Man Team - Chapter 1

Summary: This is the story of two struggling friends who after many trials and tribulations find their way back to each other and build the life they've always dreamed of.

Or how Phil changed his life by talking to random strangers on the internet.

Rating: E

Tags/warnings: Friends to lovers, Friends with benefits, mental health issues (mainly anxiety), Slow burn, Dan is a psych student. Canon divergence (the timeline is altered and some things never happened), Slutty Phil, Angst with a happy ending. The fic spans many years.

Author's Note: Written for the OSPBB 2023 @oldschoolpbb. Thank you @effingmeteors for being my life saviour and beta as usual and to my artist Lin @anironsidh.

Edits and the art will be added at some point, we are busy bees.

POSTING EVERY DAY UNTIL IT'S COMPLETED.

Total Word Count: 75k ish

Read on Ao3

CHAPTER 1: Somebody to Love

June 2005

Phil threw himself onto his bed and looked around at his neon green walls and carpet thinking how little time he had left in his childhood bedroom. He had one last summer in his hometown before uprooting his entire life and moving to York for uni. It was weird, in a way, to be in this sort of limbo where his basic education was over; he no longer felt like a child but didn’t feel like an adult either. It could be because he didn’t feel like he was fully himself, not to anyone he knew - not even his friends.

Could he really call them his friends if they didn’t know who he truly was, if he couldn’t share his attraction to boys like the others shared their crushes on girls and their flings? Maybe it wasn’t fair to think of them as near strangers, it was not their fault that he didn’t feel ready to talk about it. They had all been there for him his entire childhood and he still wasn’t ready. That was on him.

On the other hand, York presented him with a new opportunity, a chance to live his true life and finally get a boyfriend. That’s all he wanted, just - someone to cuddle with. Ok, also other stuff, but he wanted a proper boyfriend. It didn’t hurt to start looking now though.

Phil sat up and reached for his laptop, lifting the screen and connecting to the internet. He clicked on the Explorer icon and waited for everything to load for a few minutes. He logged into a random Yahoo chat room as per usual and greeted the 60 strangers chatting and sending emojis in the hopes of catching someone’s attention.

Snowdude: Hi. Anyone around 18? ;)

A private window popped up immediately.

DanTheMan: hi snowdude XD i’m dan

Snowdude: Hi. als?

DanTheMan: 16/m/reading. u?

Phil hesitated for a moment. It wasn’t often that dudes messaged him. Still, “Dan” was too young and still in school. Well, he didn’t have anything better to do than speak to him.

Snowdude: 18 m York. Are you in school?

DanTheMan: yeah just the A lvls to go. What’s ur favourrtie game?

Phil’s eyebrows shot up at the typo and he snorted. 

Snowdude: Final Fantasy 7 is ace.

DanTheMan: ace XD favourite show?

Snowdude: Buffy obviously. What is this, an interview? What’s your favourite subject in school?

DanTheMan: ouch, geography and psych and theatre.

Snowdude: hate geo, you act?

DanTheMan: don’t laugh. i always have but i’m cool.

Snowdude: nothing wrong with it. I’m a terrible actor. 

Looking at his ceiling, Phil felt bad for making Dan feel insecure by bringing up school, pointedly marking their age difference. He knew what it was like to be looked down upon by the older kids. He quickly typed another message.

Snowdude: I signed up to art because I thought it would be easy and almost failed. Seems like i suck at art.

DanTheMan: ROFL. ur weird.

DanTheMan: let’s be friends.

Snowdude: Lesbifriends

DanTheMan: forget it lol. I regret asking.

Snowdude: noooooooooooo 

DanTheMan: i have to go my mums calling. add me on msn i’m danosaurXD@hotmail.com.uk

Snowdude: Rawr xD. ACe. Good luck with homework

DanTheMan: fuckoff with your capitalistion and good grammra ttyl

And just like that, Dan exited their chat. Phil smiled and logged into MSN, hesitating only for a second before adding his new friend.

Ian opened their conversation with a buzz as per usual and invited him over to play games with the girls. He hesitated, but another notification popped up and it brought a smile to his face.

GoThic chiK (Anja): coming or not phL?

Phil rolled his eyes, at least Anja would be there and even if he didn’t like girls like that, Anja was always cool. She was like a girl, but also not. Well, she was a girl of course, but she felt like a guy, but not - like him. He didn’t fit in as the kind of man his dad wanted to see in his son and Anja didn’t impress her mother either. Maybe they were losers but they still had each other.

Phil Strikr: omw Annie tell Ian

GoTik chiK (Anja): told you to stop butcherin ma name.

Phil laughed and sent her a buzz before logging out and getting into his favourite blue jeans and a green T-shirt.

--

The night went by in a breeze, with loads of pizza, drinking and a few rounds of TEG that ended in disaster. He mostly enjoyed it until the topic of dating came up yet again. All the guys had some sort of girlfriend or arrangement and Phil had barely anything to show for. For the umpteenth time, Phil considered coming out to them but he could never bring himself to do it. Maybe one of these days when he was drunk enough.

“Phil, Phil!” Someone said.

Anja snapped her fingers in front of his eyes, startling him and causing him to drop the dice he had been shaking for who knows how long. “Mate, what is it with you today?”

“Uh, nothing. I was just thinking about Buffy,” he said.

Anja gave him a look that let him know she was not buying it, but the rest rolled their eyes and continued with their conversation. For a moment Phil thought he was off the hook but Ian looked at him expectantly.

“What?” Phil asked.

Ian sighed heavily. “Sandra asked about you again, mate. When are you going to ask her out?”

Phil tried not to look like a deer caught in the headlights. “I think it would be weird to date your cousin, we are like brothers at this point.”

Ian snorted and shook his head. “We are like brothers but not actually. It’s not like incest or anything.”

“Ew, don’t say that,” Phil said, paling at the thought of Sandra and her wandering hands. He was not going to repeat the mistake of asking her out. One sloppy kiss was more than enough.

Richard, Noah and Keith laughed at the face he pulled but Ian merely smiled at him.

“Oi! Phil is mine, let him be,” Anja said, shuffling closer to him and resting her hand on his thigh.

Phil’s eyes widened but she gave him a small wink before looking back at their friends.

“What? Are you his girlfriend now?” asked Richard with a frown.

“Yeah,” she said, looking uncomfortable at the question. Anja didn’t like Richard like that, she loved him as a friend, but he had a huge crush on her and he was terrible at hiding it. Phil didn’t need to read her mind to know she didn’t want to break his heart or risk their friendship but it was bound to happen eventually.

Wrapping his arm around Anja’s waist loosely, he set his head on her shoulder. “Tell Sandra I’m taken,” Phil said and Anja relaxed against him, letting her head gently rest on his.

Richard looked disappointed but didn’t press the issue any further.

Eventually, the board games stopped being fun and the alcohol ran out so they declared the party over. As soon as Phil said goodbye and stood from his spot Anja followed him, making the others laugh and howl at them, half whispering about what they were going to do in Phil’s bedroom.

Once they were out, Phil turned to look at her. “Do you want me to walk you home?” He asked, hopefully.

“Nah, I was expecting to crash in your bed.” She began the walk back home and Phil followed her.

“What?” Phil squeaked.

Anja laughed and turned towards him, but her eyes looked a bit misty. “Don’t be daft, it’s not that.” She poked him gently, looking into his eyes. “I just feel sad and I don’t wanna be alone right now. I know I can trust you like that.” 

“Alright,” Phil said, still walking at her side. “Do you want to talk about it? What happened?”

Anja looked away from him, her eyes focusing on the moon for a moment as she spoke. “I was dating someone but they are not sure about it anymore and it sucks.”

Phil stopped walking and pulled her into a hug. “An- you know you can tell me anything, come stay with me too.”

“I know.” She returned the hug tightly only for a moment before stepping back. “Come on!” She said, grabbing his hand and pulling him along. “Kath will be fuming if we are not there before midnight.”

He snorted and laced their fingers together. “I’ll tell my mum you call her Kath behind her back one day, you know?”

“Meh,” Anja shrugged. “She loves me. I’ll live.”

They stayed silent for most of the 20 minute walk home and had to sneak in, but soon enough they were in his room. Phil gave Anja a big T-shirt and a pair of joggers and slipped into his own pyjamas while she changed in the bathroom. 

Five minutes later they were looking up at the ceiling as they lay under the covers in the small bed.

“Hey, Phil?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you think Richard will get over his crush eventually?”

Phil turned on his side to look at her. “Probably, he has gotten over the others.”

She nodded. “Are you seeing anyone that you haven’t told us about?” she asked in a drastic change of topic.

Phil sputtered. “As if anyone would be interested.”

“You have pretty eyes and perfect eyebrows. I wish I had your eyebrows,” Anja said. “You should dye your hair black though, it would make your eyes pop.”

“I don’t know… Would you do it for me?”

“Of course, ginge,” She laughed.

“I’m not a ginger!” Phil whined.

“Course not.” She poked at his stomach. “Good night.”

“Good night, An,” he said and shut his eyes, letting sleep claim him.

---

It was a weird summer. Anja remained sad for the majority of it but refused to talk about her boyfriend, choosing to focus on giving Phil an extreme makeover instead. She dyed his hair black, took him to the mall to pick up black skinny jeans and to the stylist that had given her her emo haircut to tame his mane.

By the end of it, Phil had perfected a nice image for his MySpace page. He had even ventured into eyeliner for some pictures when he’d gotten bored waiting for Anja to get ready for a party. He’d enjoyed the results and even Ian and the guys said it looked cool on him. Even Dan thought he looked really cool when he saw the pics.

He got to talk to Dan quite a few times as well before going off to uni and caught up with life. It was amazing to learn that they were actually super compatible, liking many of the same games, music and shows. The best part was that Dan said there was a chance he would go to York like him so they could hang out and Phil liked the sound of that, even if Dan was still a full year away from it. Dan was honestly super cool and Phil really had come to consider him a friend in the last few months so it would be super fun to have someone close to hang out and play games with. It sounded like a great plan.

Daydreaming about their potential meet-up was a nice distraction from Dan’s home life, which seemed to be in constant turmoil as Phil came to find over time. There was a reason Dan barely mentioned his younger brother and he had vaguely complained about his father’s rage issues, so Phil always let Dan talk first, and let whatever was troubling him be aired so that he could offer his support or advice if it was needed. Phil also shared some of his issues and insecurities, but his problems were not nearly as bad as Dan’s so he tried to keep things on the positive side and help Dan out.

But Phil wasn’t expecting to catch Dan in a lie only weeks later. As it turned out, Dan had never been 16, he was a 14 year old kid. It was a silly lie, but it still hurt Phil, so he asked Dan to never lie to him again. Dan was very apologetic and begged him not to break their friendship, which Phil had briefly considered, but decided against, especially because of the kind of bullying Dan suffered at school on the regular. After the initial shock had worn off, Phil reassured him that they could be friends, even if they would have to be long distance.

Dan deserved to have supportive friends. He needed someone to be there for him and Phil knew he could be that someone. At an appropriate distance, of course.

It was a bit of a rough patch between them, but after they had resolved the issue, life went on as usual. Phil dived head first into his uni life and there were so many changes. He moved into the dorm and met new people at uni, but sadly, he wasn’t able to stay in touch with his friends back home as much as he’d have liked due to his schedule. In a way, he had inadvertently severed most contact with his life back home, but no matter how much things changed, some stayed the same: his lack of a love life and being trapped in the closet.

He decided that it was time to take his life by the horns and that marked the beginning of a new chapter for him, an exploring phase of sorts. After some consideration, he opened a profile on a dating website, hoping to find a nice guy he could date. His new look did seem to help a lot, but his popularity applied mostly to MySpace. The dating scene seemed a bit dry, or maybe he was just too awkward. There weren't a bunch of messages flooding his inbox by any means.

To be honest, he was starting to get really discouraged, thinking he would never meet someone, but his luck finally changed on a mighty weekend when in a hidden corner of a pub, he got his first taste of freedom. He was blonde and tall and three years older than Phil and his lips were on Phil’s, quickly taking him to heaven, making his blood rush south and his stomach tingle. His hands were inside Phil’s T-shirt and struggling with his jeans’ zipper in less than five minutes. It wasn’t too rough or something that Phil didn’t want, but the speed of it all scared him a bit. It was too much too soon and he wasn’t ready even though he wanted to be, so he took a step back and apologised.

“I’m sorry,” he said, still trying to catch his breath. “Listen, I’m not out yet, not even to my friends back home, my new uni friends or my roommates.”

The guy nodded and smiled at him. “That’s alright,” he said. “Could I get your phone number? Maybe we can meet up some other time.”

Phil nodded and saved it in the other’s phone, but he was not going to trick himself into thinking he was going to get a text. His chances were slim.

They parted ways with a quick kiss, which surprised Phil. He let out a deep sigh as he watched the blonde disappear into the crowd and surveyed the pub in search of his friends. 

Towering over most people did come in handy and allowed him to locate his roommates in under a minute. Phil tried to put on a brave smile as he made his way to them and accepted a beer, taking a zip and groaning at the bitter taste. It was performative and he knew it, but he didn’t know what else to do, so he followed along with what everyone was doing. He got drunk - and even made out with a girl briefly just out of boredom. 

He felt nothing, nothing at all, but his roommates cheered him on and the girl seemed happy enough. 

That made one of them.

--

Once back in his room, Phil put his phone to charge and turned it on. There were a few missed calls and texts from Dan, asking if he was free to talk. Phil got a bad feeling about it and tried to call him but Dan didn’t pick up. Maybe it was too late and he had fallen asleep. Biting the inside of his cheek, Phil hesitated before sending a text.

“I’m sorry I missed your calls, I was out until just now and my phone had died X.x . I’m free to talk in the morning!”

Phil lay in bed for what seemed like forever, the room spinning a bit around him, as he thought about the blonde guy, the boring night, the girl he kissed - and Dan. He wished he would have stayed home and talked to Dan, maybe played some games, or talked about school. It was sad that he got along better with a 14 year old than his own friends. What did that say about him? He fell into a fitful night of sleep just as the sun rose above the clouds.

The talk with Dan didn’t come the next day, or the following one. In fact, Dan stopped replying entirely for over a week and Phil’s stomach was twisted into knots. Over twenty messages unanswered could only mean bad news, right?

The following weekend, Phil sent yet another text: “Please, Dan. Just let me know that you are ok.”

Ten minutes later, his phone finally vibrated. “im ok. stop.”

Phil’s eyes welled up with tears. “I’m so sorry, Dan. I’ve been worried about you. I went out and had so many calls and missed texts, I thought something had happened and you needed to talk. It’s ok if you don’t want to, I just didn’t want you to think that I didn’t care. Sorry I missed your call.”

His screen lit up with a call immediately and Dan’s raspy voice greeted him on the other side. “Hey, sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“It’s ok,” Phil said, trying to calm himself down, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand. He swallowed thick and attempted a small smile, even if Dan could not see it. “What did you want to talk about?”

Dan was silent for a moment, but then he let out a tired sigh. “Nothing much, it’s fine.”

“You can tell me, you know you can,” Phil said with a frown.

“Last weekend I went to the mall and I had some problems with the usual shitheads…” he trailed off.

“Did they throw rocks at you again?”

“Yeah, but I didn’t care. And on Monday -” Dan paused.

“What happened on Monday?” Phil asked, frowning at the pain he could hear in Dan’s voice.

“One of the idiots grabbed me by the neck and slapped me for like 5 minutes,” Dan mumbled. “And I know what you’re going to say, one of the teachers saw and did nothing. He even laughed.”

“Dan,” Phil said, his heart breaking for his friend. “I’m so sorry, you don’t deserve any of that. I wish I could be there to help you.”

“It’s fine,” Dan said in a monotone voice. “I didn’t react, I didn’t want to give them that satisfaction.”

“It takes a lot of courage not to fight back. You were very brave.”

“I wouldn’t say that,” Dan muttered. “Almost gave them another satisfaction.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m so tired sometimes, you know? Just so tired.” Then, Dan cleared his throat. “Anyway, I’ve been staying with my grandma since Tuesday, so I’m ok.”

Phil had to clear his throat too, trying not to get choked up by what Dan was implying. “You have to get good grades so you can get into uni and we can hang out, ok?”

Dan snorted. “As if you would hang out with me. You’re cool and I’m just a 14 year old loser.”

“You’re not a loser. You’re kind, and funny, and one of the coolest people I know. I know that one day you will be a great guy. Maybe you’ll be a famous actor, like you’ve always wanted.”

“Yeah… maybe,” Dan said. “Wanna play Mario Kart later? I have homework.”

Phil looked at the time, it was already late, but a few races wouldn’t hurt. “Sure. Text me when you’re done.”

“Thanks, Phil,” Dan said and Phil could picture a little smile on his face.

“No problem. See you later.”

“Yeah. Hey, can I follow your MySpace?” Dan asked.

“You can follow me anywhere,” Phil said. “We are friends.”

“Yeah, ok,” Dan snorted. “See you later, Philly.”

Phil rolled his eyes and hung up the phone.

Letting out a deep sigh, he decided to do the “adult thing” and study a little more for the exam he had the following morning so that he could join Dan online later. It was not a lot, but he felt better now that Dan knew Phil was on his side and he cared.

That night, Phil stayed on his DS until 4, but he managed to get a passing grade on the exam anyway. He rewarded himself with a 10 hour nap afterwards.

--

All through his first term at uni, Phil tried his best to keep in touch with Dan, but with his tight study schedule, the weekends pretending to be straight and attempting to not stress himself half to death with his new chaotic life, it was getting increasingly difficult.

Before long, Phil had to make a drastic choice. Something needed to change and he knew exactly what was the worst stressor for him: his straight-sex-maniac persona. And so it was decided. 

He invited his four roommates to their very limited common space and paced in the square foot of floor he had available to himself waving his hands around without uttering a word until one of the guys asked if he was ok. 

No, Phil was not ok at all, he was nearly crawling up the wall, so instead of giving a carefully planned and rehearsed speech, he stopped short of the wall, turned around and said: “I lied… I am not super experienced, I don’t have a lot of sex experience. In fact, I have zero experience, because… because I’m gay. I’m sorry that I lied, I just wanted you guys to like me, you are all so cool. I wanted to be your friend. I didn’t mean for it to get so out of hand. I-”

Peter got up from the armrest of the sofa, causing Phil to take a step back just in case, and gave him a hard pat on the shoulder. “It’s ok. We are all figuring things out,” he said. “Also, Sarah will be happy to know that you are not disgusted by her presence, you’re just thick as all fuck and gay. Right, Sarah?”

“You like me?” Phil squeaked, turning towards the popular blonde girl. She was super nice and also pretty, but she was still not a guy, so there was not even a chance.

“I do. I did, but it’s ok. We can be friends,” she said with a smile.

“We can?” Phil croaked.

Sarah nodded. “You’re a good guy, Phil. Why wouldn’t I want to be your friend? And the fact that you are not opposed to a little makeup also plays in your favour.”

Peter clapped once and rushed to the fridge. He got the Malibu out of the freezer, messily pouring the alcohol into various glasses and mugs and other liquid-holding implements before turning around to face the group and raising his glass. “To Phil, the gayest emo York has ever seen - and a good friend too!” He downed his drink without waiting for anyone else.

Sarah walked over to the kitchenette and grabbed a shot glass, raising it towards Phil with an encouraging smile. “Cheers,” she said and downed her drink. She then passed a repurposed laundry detergent cap full of Malibu to Phil. 

“Thank you,” he said, hoping that his eyes could convey the gratitude he felt. “Cheers,” he said and drank the entire thing.

Jimmy and Callan, who had been quiet until now, stood from the sofa and grabbed a mug each, raising them to Phil. 

“To Phil, the gay emo,” said Callan with a smirk.

“We can still be friends even if you’re gay and your willy is bigger than all of ours,” Jimmy said with a nod and necked his drink.

Phil laughed. “Stop talking about my dick, Jimmy. You saw nothing!”

“I will when it stops looking back at me every time you sit,” Jimmy cackled. 

Phil threw the laundry detergent cap at his head, hitting the target and causing the group to laugh.  Hours later, he crawled into his tiny bed and felt the effects of all the alcohol he had consumed rock him gently, like the waves in the sea. He let out a sigh of relief, a smile appearing on his lips as he remembered how the night had started. His coming out had been awkward but still a success. Now he could truly be himself, at least in York, and he couldn’t wait until he was able to live his life fully everywhere.