#and I started to think if people don't believe in science anymore

[bethanydelleman]

"The scientific method is the only way to find objective truths" and "all systems run by humans are prone to corruption" are two statements that do and must coexist.

[hwaslayer]

wildfire (cs) | 7.5

—spotify playlist | series masterlist

—summary: assistant professor in bioengineering, incredibly attractive, lonely and divorced; that’s how most people describe san. but despite the events that have happened in his life, san has a lot going for himself. he’s a successful, sought out professor due to his brilliant contributions to science at just an early age of 32. he worked hard to get where he was now; head deep into his research, his publications, building his lab and creating a name for himself. everything was good and smooth sailing— until it wasn’t. because when he meets you, a bioengineering grad student interested in rotating in his lab, he finds himself ready to risk all the blood, sweat and tears he put in throughout the years just to keep you close— his need for you spiraling out of control like a wildfire.

—pairing: asst. professor!choi san x grad student!f. reader

—genre: (18+ - minors dni) strangers to lovers, grad school au | fluff, angst, smut

—word count: 1.2k

—chapter content/warnings: not much here!!, cussing, mature language/sexually implied content, subtle flirting (in san's and oc's terms lmfao)

—a/n: hi! just a friendly lil reminder that these half chapters are random scenes/bits that couldn't really fit into a chapter or stand-alone as one. they're mostly in the past and will not always follow the exact timeline of the previous or upcoming chapter!

San booked off most of his day to help Christopher with this symposium. Well, actually, most of the group has [minus a select few others] in order to make room for the quick tech rehearsal and run through before its official start time in the next half hour or so. The staff is now bringing in the fruit, cheese and other pastries, along with coffee, tea and juice— setting them outside of the conference room on a long table. The symposium is supposed to be 5 hours, being that everyone keeps to their 20-min presentation + 10-min Q&A times. San is off to the side speaking with Jongho and Chris, while Mingi and Zara are fiddling with the AV system to test their own presentations for the final time. Even though this is the one time most of their schedules worked, Yeosang had to skip out due to heading overseas for a conference. As San sips on his coffee, Yunho and Iseul walk in alongside of Namjoon. Per usual, he keeps greetings to a bare minimum:

AKA, a very subtle smile and nod to both. One that Yunho reciprocates, one that Iseul doesn't like to acknowledge.

But, whatever.

"Did you guys tell your labs about this?" Chris nervously wipes his hands on his dress pants, nervous about how his first symposium is gonna turn out.

"Dude." Jongho laughs and pokes fun at him. "Relax."

"I bragged about it way too much, I don't even know if people wanna come anymore." San teases, making Chris shake him by the shoulders. "Relax! They'll come!"

"What if no one shows up? We'll be giving presentations to each other—" Chris laughs, but a few people start trickling into the conference room; providing him with a sense of relief. "Oh, thank god." The three start giving small nods to the students and other faculty dipping in, greeting them just as they set their things down and grab some food.

"Can't believe you actually thought people wouldn't come. Think you might need extra chairs." San points out as more people flood in.

"Shit, I did it." Chris beams from ear to ear, shifting his attention to two more familiar faces. "Oh! Hey Y/N, Jiung!" He says as the two of you walk towards their group, giving them very curt bows.

"Hi." You smile at all, especially San. He bites onto his straw, trying his hardest to hold back his smile.

"Thanks for coming."

"Of course! Got a good lineup, excited to hear all the presentations!" Jiung tugs on his backpack straps.

"In that case, send me a full report on it tomorrow." Jongho jokes, making Jiung playfully roll his eyes.

"Do you see how he treats me?" Chris and Jongho laugh.

"Nah, he's been talking a lot about the work you've been doing and how you're probably the best person to help get the rig together for our optical electrophysiology project."

"Aw, really?" Jiung looks at Jongho. "You mean it?" Jiung has stars in his eyes and Jongho can't help but deny the allegations. He has said it time and time again; Jiung is definitely doing great work and Jongho doesn't want him to go anywhere. If he could keep him for good, he would. He hopes he can.

He'd just never say it out loud cause he's like that.

"Hey now." He shakes his head. "I never said anything, I don't know what he's talking about." 

"We have a few minutes actually, let's talk about that real quick and follow up in another meeting later on." Chris looks at you. "Sorry to have to pull him away from you, Y/N. Professor Choi #2 can keep you company?"

"All good." 

"Be back." Jiung looks at you. "I'll save us those chairs." He points towards two end spots near the middle section. You awkwardly watch as Chris, Jongho and Jiung approach another professor to talk about said project, leaving you with San. 

"Hi." He says shyly. You've never seen him this way, and he's too fucking cute, too fucking charming. It makes you replay the dinner events in your head, only pushing your curiosity of what he'd be like if you two were completely alone. 

"Hi. Is that your nervous face poking out? Are you nervous?" You tease a bit.

"Me?" He playfully scoffs. "No. Dinner was more nerve-racking than this."

"What, why?" You giggle.

"Because it's you. I have to be extra careful with you, remember?"

"Right." You tuck a strand of hair behind your ear, heat rising to your cheeks as your eyes glaze over his figure; he's dressed nicely in a white button up, tie and grey vest. They're all dressed nicely for the occasion, but it's definitely an extra weakness for you seeing San like this. 

"You're cute." He mutters as he bites his straw again and takes a sip of his iced coffee, eyes looking around the room to make his flirting not so obvious. And it isn't, except Yunho has been watching from the side while he waits for Iseul to finish up working through some presentation issues with IT. He didn't mean to, but his eyes gradually glazed over to the two of you smiling and laughing.

He can't help it, but the interaction feels different. The only time he's ever seen San that shy and flustered is when he was courting Iseul. It almost feels like he's watching something unfold all over again. 

"All good!" Iseul says, knitting her brows together when Yunho seems to be preoccupied. "You okay?" She asks, Yunho finally returning his attention to her.

"Yeah, sorry. Was just people-watching." Iseul looks over, eyes also falling on San but she doesn't necessarily get a chance to think much about it before Yunho is chiming in again. "Let's go grab some food before it starts." He laces his hand with hers and leads her to the end, front row seats.

Meanwhile, you've been too busy keeping your attention on San to care about everyone else. You're so tempted to nudge him, be a little affectionate with him. And it's taking everything in you to remind yourself who you are and where you are at.

"Stop it."

"Glad you actually made it, though."

"I told you I'd come."

"And I'm glad it wasn't just something you said to brush me off in the hallway." You laugh.

"No, never." Jiung wraps up his talk with the other professors, his eyes meeting yours with a small nod towards the seats he sat his bag down at. "Well, guess they're done. I'll see you later? Goodluck on your talk, Professor Choi." He smiles toothlessly at you.

"Thank you, Y/N." He watches as you walk off and meet Jiung, plopping down onto the seat as he debriefs you on his impromptu meeting. 

"Hm." Jongho hums and clears his throat, slowly walking over to his bestfriend while sipping his coffee.

"Yes?"

"Nothing." Jongho squints his eyes at him, a small chuckle leaving his lips. "Productive conversations going around, I see."

"Mhm." San chuckles, knowing exactly what Jongho's hinting at.

"Hey!" Zara comes over with a bright smile on her face. "We saved you some seats." She points at the front row on the left side, waving them over. "Come." 

"Sweet, thanks." Jongho leads the way while Zara tucks her hair behind her ear and walks alongside of San.

"Ready?" San shrugs as he looks at her.

"As can be."

"I'm sure it'll be great like always." He smiles.

"Thanks." He lets her slip into the seat next to Jongho before sliding into the end seat, eyes quickly glancing over at you before he gets situated and switches modes for the symposium.

Though, you are incredibly distracting, and he can only hope he can get you alone sometime soon just to show you exactly how he feels.

—taglist: @asjkdk @interweab @woojirang @svintsandghosts @cheolliehugs @persphonesorchid @mxnsxngie @jycas @cowboydk @vcutparis @chngbnwf @struggling101 @sanhwalvr @angelqueendom @barbielibra @brown88 @choisansplushie @yunhoswrldddd @hyukssunflower @vickykazuya @lucid-galaxys-world @jaytheatiny @pommelex @thespiffynerd @vixensss @santineez @nopension @domfikeluva @in-somnias-world @my-atiny-kookie-rkive @mountiiny

[dwobbitfromtheshire]

Not so mean and scary

Did someone ask for a Steddissy fic to this? Here it is!

All that craziness happened right before the Christmas break, so Eddie was grateful to squirrel himself away inside his trailer to hide from people and even more grateful that he got to escape by driving Dustin to his science fair in Indianapolis. Hopefully, everyone had time to cool down. When he pulled up to the school, he found Jeff waiting for him in his normal spot. He shoved his hands in his pockets, looking awkward.

"Hey," Jeff said.

"Hey," Eddie said.

"I'm sorry I'm never told you," Jeff said.

"What? That you're attracted to me?" Eddie scoffed. "I didn't judge you when you told us you're gay, but I'm definitely judging you for your taste in men, so that might have been a good call."

"Fuck off, asshole!" Jeff laughed. "I definitely want to fuck you, but date you? Nah, you're too much of a mess for me."

"Dick!" Eddie laughed. "At least, things haven't changed in that aspect. . .please, tell me things have gotten back to normal."

"Wish I could, man, but it's now socially acceptable to like Eddie Munson: platonically, romantically, and sexually. You've opened up the floodgates to self-acceptance," Jeff shrugged.

"The jocks did that," Eddie scowled.

"Yeah, but they wouldn't have if they hadn't been inspired by you to stand up to Jason and his friends," Jeff pointed out.

"Gah!" Eddie yelled. "I'm mean and scary, Jeff! Mean and scary!"

"Not anymore, man. Now, it's Jason and his friends who are the freaks," he replied. "Higgins is pissed."

"Of course, he is. He's always been out to push people like us out of school," he rolled his eyes. "Alright, I guess I should face the music. . .nope, nope, I can't!"

"Be a big boy, Eddie," Jeff laughed as he pushed him.

Eddie walked past people, and so far, everything seemed great. No one was paying any attention to him, focused on trying to walk on the still icy concrete. Until. . .a guy whose name he didn't know cheerfully waved at him. A shiny rainbow pin was fastened to his coat. Eddie screamed as the guy gave him another friendly wave before walking off. Jeff rolled his eyes before clapping his hands onto Eddie's shoulders and steering him into the school. He moved through the hallway, passing by people who waved at him. Some of them had rainbow pins, and some of them didn't. Eddie didn't get that one. He thought he managed to find someone who was still afraid of them when he jumped out at someone, and he jumped. Eddie started to grin until the guy laughed, slapping Eddie's arm.

"Oh, Eddie, man, you're hilarious," he said.

"No, I'm scary!" Eddie shrieked.

"I used to think that but I was just scared of how I felt. . .oh, someone works out," the man said as he squeezed Eddie's arm. "Can't believe I ever thought I was into women."

Jeff clapped a hand over his mouth and pulled him away from the guy before Eddie could scream again. Just as they were about to approach Eddie's locker, they ran into Steve Harrington. Jeff removed his hand.

"Hey, Munson, how are you handling your newfound fame?" Steve asked.

"I do NOT want you caress my bicep," Eddie said.

"I wasn't going to," Steve laughed. "I wouldn't touch you unless you wanted me, too."

"I like women," Eddie scowled.

"Yeah, so do I," Steve said, winking at him.

"What are you doing here anyway?" Eddie asked.

"Oh, I decided to come back to school just to flirt with you," Steve said, and Eddie scoffed, blushing. "Nah, I was dropping off Dustin his lunch. He forgot it in my car. By the way, thank you for taking Dustin to the science fair. I kind of wish I had gone with you guys instead of going on that date. It would have been a lot more fun."

"Uh. . .you're welcome, I guess," Eddie said and tried to control his rapidly beating heart.

"Steve Harrington, don't you have a low paying menial job to go back to?" Chrissy asked from behind him.

"Chrissy Cunningham, I thought we were friends," Steve said.

"We are, but we're also competition now," Chrissy said.

"Ah. . .Do you like Eddie, too?" Steve asked.

"Ever since middle school," Chrissy said.

"You remember that?" Eddie asked.

"Corroded Coffin, how could I forget?" Chrissy asked.

"Kind of thought you got swallowed up by high school and popularity," Eddie said.

"I did," Chrissy said. "I'm back, now. I like your hair."

"Yeah, me too. It's definitely better than the shaved look," Eddie said, grinning. "Also, I got these sweet tatties now."

Eddie pulled his shirt down to reveal two tattoos on his chest. Chrissy bit her lip and reached over to trace the tattoos with her finger tips.

"Sexy," Chrissy said in a husky voice.

"Y-yeah?" Eddie asked.

"Oh, yeah," Chrissy said. "I should get to class. It's good catching up with you, Eddie. Steve, you really need to step up your game. Eddie. . .balls in your court."

Eddie clutched his chest and collapsed against the lockers, staring after her.

"Damn," Eddie and Steve said.

"Yeah, I guess I do have to step up my game," Steve said and winked at Eddie. "Good luck with all this."

Steve walked away, swinging his hips as he did so. Eddie's eyes zeroed in on his ass.

"I like women!" Eddie yelled.

"So do I!" Steve yelled back.

"Why do you keep saying that?!" Eddie shrieked and Steve laughed as he exited the school.

"Man, you do you realize you can like both?" Jeff asked.

"What?! No!" Eddie yelled, and then he grabbed Jeff by the front of his shirt. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I thought you knew," Jeff said with wide eyes.

"Was it just me, or were Chrissy Cunningham and Steve Harrington. . ." Eddie trailed off.

"Vying for your affection, yeah," Jeff replied.

"Hmm, whoever shall I choose?" Eddie cackled. "Who shall win the hand of one Eddie Munson?"

"Eddie, you still got me by the shirt," Jeff said.

"Oh, sorry."

"No, problem."

While Eddie had once been freaked out by the fact that people now liked him, he realized that it gave people to be more free to be themselves in the hallway. He did yelp when he found two jocks making out against the lockers, and then he grinned before moving on. Maybe it did have something to do with him constantly standing up to people, letting his own freak flag fly, but maybe it also had something to do with all freak occurrences that happened in Hawkins specifically the fire at Starcourt mall. Maybe they realized that life was too short. Eddie moved through the school, greeting his people through the halls with a wave and very melodramatic, Renaissance style greetings. He still felt like he was dreaming, especially knowing that Chrissy and Steve were planning to woo him.

"Pssst, Wheeler," Eddie hissed, peeking through the door of the nearly empty newspaper room.

"Eddie?" Nancy asked. "You're allowed to enter."

"Oh good, I wasn't sure," Eddie said and moved to sprawl across her desk.

"But you're not allowed to do that," Nancy said.

"So, what is Steve’s deal?" Eddie asked, raising his eyebrow. "Or do you know?"

"Are you asking about what he likes?" Nancy asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I mean. . .kinda, sorta," he said.

"Yeah, I know he's bisexual. He told me when we were dating," Nancy said.

"What should I expect with him trying to woo me?" Eddie asked.

"Oh, he was always really good at finding what you like, letting you tell him what you need even when you can't say it," Nancy said. "And he likes taking care of people even if he complains about it a lot. And he loves holding hands. You never really know what to expect because he's full of surprises."

"Has he ever been wooed?" Eddie asked.

Nancy frowned at him as she thought about it.

"You know, I don't think he has," Nancy said.

"Knowing Carver, I don't think Chrissy has either," Eddie frowned. "Not really."

"Steve and Chrissy?" Nancy asked.

"Yeah," Eddie said, flashing his dimples. "They both want me. I'm sorry to say, Wheeler, that my dance card is all full up."

"Just because I find you attractive doesn't mean that I want to actually do anything about it," Nancy replied.

"You and Jeff. . .honestly," Eddie grinned. "Anyway, I have got planning to do! See ya."

Eddie made his way stealthily through the library before finding the stacks of yearbooks. He pulled one from 85 and opened. He flipped between one page and then to another. Back and forth. Back and forth.

"Which one?" Eddie hissed as he looked at Steve and Chrissy's yearbook photos. "I don't have enough information to decide."

"What are you doing, Eddie?" Dustin asked as he suddenly popped his head through the shelf right next to Eddie's head.

Eddie shrieked and clutched his chest. He turned and glared at his protege.

"You butthead, Henderson," Eddie gasped.

"Seriously, what are you doing?" Dustin asked.

"Hold on, let me stop my heart from, oh, I don't know, JUMPING OUT OF MY FUCKING CHEST!" Eddie yelled.

"Quiet!" The librarian yelled.

"Don't be so dramatic," Dustin said, rolling as his eyes as he plopped down next to him on the floor. "It's not like I'm a duck."

"A duck?! Where?!" Eddie asked, whipping his head around fearfully.

"Eddie, why would a duck be in a library?!" He asked in exasperation.

"Because ducks are evil, and I'm pretty sure they're plotting to take over the world," Eddie said. "And a library is a good place to start."

"What are you doing?" Dustin asked again.

"Trying to make a decision," Eddie sighed.

"Between Steve and Chrissy Cunningham?" Dustin asked.

"Yeah," Eddie sighed.

"Why do you have to choose one?" Dustin asked.

"Well, because otherwise I'd be leading them on," Eddie rolled his eyes.

"Why not date both of them if they're okay with it?" He asked.

"Listen, just because I happen to like both men and women does not mean I have to date both," he replied.

"No, but you want to, and isn't that the important thing here. . .that everyone involved wants to?" Dustin asked.

"You might have a point," Eddie said thoughtfully.

"I do have a point," Dustin said. "You have overturned this school in like a day, turned it into like a safe haven, so I think you can definitely date two people if you wanted to."

"Never change, Henderson!" Eddie yelled as he jumped up.

"I wasn't planning on it!" Dustin yelled. "Are you planning on going to lunch?! Lucas is actually going to sit with us for once!"

"I'll be there!"

"Quiet! This is a library for Pete's sake!"

Eddie skidded to a halt outside the window to the classroom that Robin Buckley was sitting in. At some point today, Eddie was planning on going to class, but right now, he was too busy. He cracked open the window, and to his amusement, Robin was right by it and fast asleep with her cheek pressed against her arm. Eddie pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket and threw it at Robin. She sat up, wiping her face, and she scowled at Eddie.

"What the hell are you doing, Munson?" Robin asked.

"What kind of flowers does Steve like?" Eddie asked.

"Why do you want to know?" Robin asked.

"I want to see if he wants to open a flower shop together," Eddie said.

"Really?" Robin asked.

"No! I want to woo the fuck out of him!" Eddie hissed.

"Well, it's not totally far-fetched. Steve would actually like that, though. Ooh, a jock and a metalhead opening a flower shop together then falling in love? Oh, the story just writes itself," Robin said.

"Robin, focus - ooh, we could call the shop - no, no, focus!" Eddie exclaimed, shaking his head.

"Maybe not a flower shop because Steve doesn't really get the idea of giving people decapitated dead things as gifts. Ooh, baking - you could bake him something! You could open a bakery with him!" Robin said.

"Okay, are you or are you not his best friend in the entire world? I mean, that's the word on the street," Eddie hissed. "Help me out here! I can't bake for the life of me!"

"I really don't need to. You've basically been wooing him without even knowing about it," Robin said. "Despite his complaining, he loves those kids, especially Dustin and the fact that you were with them, giving them a safe place to belong. . .it meant a lot to him."

"Got it. He basically wants a baby daddy. . .a partner," Eddie said. "Someone who cares about those kids as much as he does while also being able to knock their egos down a notch. I swear the tone on Dustin. . ."

"Yeah, basically, and he doesn't say it but I know he wishes he just has someone to take care of him, you know?" Robin said. "Unlike his shitty parents."

"You know, I always thought people like him had it easy," Eddie said. "But seeing all of this, even knowing what they've called me, they struggle just as much as we do."

"You know, Steve, when he called you freak, out of sheer ignorance, he thought it was a nickname like when people called him the Hair," Robin said.

"He doesn't know that people were calling him that to be mean?" Eddie asked.

"No," Robin said.

"Miss Buckley! Mr. Munson! Is my lesson getting in the way of your conversation?!" The teacher yelled.

"Oh, absolutely not, Mrs. D! How's the arthritis?" Eddie asked cheerfully.

"Get to class!"

"Right!"

Okay, he was for sure going to class after lunch, but this time, he really needed to talk to Chrissy's cousin, Vickie. It was the last period before lunch, so he really needed to talk to her. The girl in her math class had said she was in the bathroom. Eddie skidded down the hallway and came to a stop.

"Nope, can't go in there, I am a gentleman-ish. Well, I do have boundaries," Eddie said and leaned against the lockers to wait.

There was no one else in the hallway, and from what it sounded like to Eddie, there wasn't anyone else in the bathroom except for Vickie. He could hear her talking to herself, and it was very likely that she was talking to her reflection.

"Oh. I should tell her. I should definitely tell her. Oh, but I can't. . .what if she doesn't like me at all or women?! What if she's not okay with it. I mean, there does still seem to be people who don't agree with all of this, and what if this is just a freak accident? Like, maybe someone put something in the water or there's a gas leak? Maybe we're all having the same hallucination. . .no, that's crazy. Just as crazy as me telling Robin I like her. I mean, I tell her that I like her, and everyone snaps out of it before going back to normal. Maybe it would be safer going back to Dan. . .no, no, he's a dick! Oh, but he's so good with his hands, terrible with his mouth. Oh, what if she does like me and she dumps me because I'm so bad at sex?! That's crazy, Robin isn't like that, but how would I know? How do you even have sex with women? Where do you - oh, God, sex with Robin - ugh, I should have gone to that gay bar in Indie everyone went to over break - oh, Robin's boobs!"

Eddie couldn't help it. He let out a laugh. Eddie quickly slapped a hand over his mouth. It was too late, though. The door opened, and Vickie poked her head out the door.

"I heard nothing!" Eddie exclaimed.

"So, you heard everything," Vickie laughed.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to eavesdrop," Eddie said. "Someone in your math class told me you were going to the bathroom, and I swear I wasn't going to follow you in there. I was just going to wait out here until I could get your opinion on something."

"Okay, and that would be?" Vickie asked.

"How close are you with your cousin, Chrissy?" Eddie asked.

"Oh, she's my best friend," Vickie asked.

"Great, I need more information," Eddie said. "Not all of it, of course, because I do plan on getting to know her on my own, but I do need some information to surprise her with when I woo her because I also don't want to accidentally offend her."

"Woo her?" Vickie asked.

"I plan on wooing her and Steve Harrington before they can woo me," Eddie said. "I'm going to win their little competition and they don't even know that I'm playing."

"Technically, haven't they already been wooed if they're trying to woo you?" Vickie asked.

"Semantics!" Eddie exclaimed. "Let's retire that word because I have said and heard it too many times today."

"Well, the fact that you're showing any actual interest in her is definitely a step up from Jason and that you're trying to find out what she likes," Vickie said.

"She deserves that," Eddie said.

"Oh, definitely," she said and smiled softly at him. "Well, she doesn't like flowers because she's never really understood getting dead things as gifts, but she loves chocolates. . .specifically, chocolate covered strawberries."

"Man, that's Steve and Chrissy both. What's up with them and flowers?" Eddie asked.

"Maybe it's something to do with ripping flowers from their home and people using them to make their homes pretty, but then once they served their purpose, they're tossed aside?" Vickie asked.

"So, they represent how they themselves are used and then tossed aside?" Eddie asked and frowned. "Damn. That's fucking deep. I'm going to be thinking about that one. Think, Munson, think! Oh, I got it!"

"Mr. Munson!"

"Oh, hey, Mrs. D, I am just seeing you everywhere today. . .may I just say that you are wearing a lovely shade of purple! It suits you!"

"Get. To. Class."

"I. Am. Trying."

Eddie did, actually, attend lunch and the rest of his classes. Being distracted by Chrissy and Steve pulled his attention away from everyone being nice to him all of a sudden. It helped, especially when Chrissy flirted with him with her eyes across the cafeteria. He did the same, leaning his elbow in Dustin's applesauce as he batted his eyelashes and hid behind his hair. A few minutes later, Robin came back into the cafeteria and held up a sign:

Steve agreed to pay me $50 to do this. He also agreed to do the same if I needed it. This is from Steve.

Robin leaned forward and gave Eddie her best comehither look before running her hands through her hair, winking at Eddie and shooting him finger guns. He had laughed in delight and ended up knocking Dustin's applesauce into his lap. Chrissy was scowling at Robin, but she was also trying not to smile.

"This is only going to get worse when you guys actually start dating, isn't it?" Dustin asked with a sigh.

"Oh, yeah."

Finally, after school, Eddie managed to convince the theater arts teacher to let him use the drama room for what he had planned to do. Had it really only been a day? He had realized that as he sat on his throne with a robe thrown over him and the hood over his eyes, waiting for his prey. Finally, the doors opened, and he grinned when he heard their voices.

"You can't just call dibs on a person, Christine!" Steve exclaimed. "Especially when it's because you saw him first!"

"Why the hell not, Steven?" Chrissy asked.

"Because it's childish!" Steve yelled.

"Well, it seems like it's right up Eddie's alley!" Chrissy exclaimed.

To his amusement, they had yet to notice Eddie sitting on his throne.

"Why were we told to come here, anyway? I don't see Eddie at all," Steve said with his hands on his hips.

The lights flickered on above Eddie, revealing himself. A horn behind him started to play.

"Robin?" He asked, squinting at the light and Eddie smiled.

"Tis I, Edward Munson, your one true love!" Eddie burst out in dungeon master voice. "I have decided to bring this competition to an end. I have had many offers and many favors, but it has come down to the two of you - "

"Oh, man, you're not going to make us fight to the death, are you?" Steve asked.

"Ooh! I can totally take Steve," Chrissy said, cheerfully.

She dropped her bag and rolled up her sleeves. She raised her fists and started bouncing around Steve, her ponytail bouncing with her. Eddie bent over laughing. God, she was so fucking cute. Clearly, Steve thought so, too.

"Alright, stop that," Eddie said, dropping his voice for a moment.

"So, you already made a decision? Seems pretty quick. We didn't get to enjoy the chase," Steve said.

"Yeah, I was looking forward to seeing what Steve would bring to the table, but I'm looking forward to your answer," Chrissy said, and then she gasped in realization. "Steve. . ."

"What?"

"Do you think that Eddie might be naked under his robe?" Chrissy asked, giggling.

"Oh, I did not think about that," Steve said and then he grinned. "But now I am."

"That's not what - No, I am not - !" Eddie shrieked.

"Eddie Munson, you better not be naked under your robes!" Robin yelled from the back.

"Robin?" Vickie asked.

"Vickie? Where are you?" Robin asked.

"I'm manning the lights!" Vickie asked cheerfully.

"How did you get involved?" Robin asked.

"Oh, Chrissy's my cousin, and he said he wanted to do something nice for her, so I agreed," Vickie said. "What about you?"

"Oh, Steve’s my platonic soulmate, and Eddie said he wanted to do something nice for him," Robin said.

"Oooh! Do you think that he's choosing both of them?!" Vickie asked.

"We can hear you and you just ruined the big reveal!" Eddie shrieked.

"Yell at her again, and I'll beat you with my instrument, Munson!" Robin yelled.

"Sorry, Vickie!" Eddie rolled his eyes.

"I'm sorry, too!" Vickie exclaimed.

"It wasn't going well, anyway," Eddie sighed and leaped from the throne, standing in front of both of them. "I've completely forgotten where I was going with this."

"I did tell you to write it down," Vickie said gently.

"You did, you did," Eddie said, then focused on them. "I have something for you guys. . .it's in my pants. Hold on!"

"Yeah, I bet you do," Chrissy said and giggled with Steve.

"Okay. . .so maybe I didn't think this all the way through," Eddie said.

"Eddie! You idiot!" Robin yelled.

"You want to get some coffee and leave these guys to it?" Vickie asked.

"Oh, yeah, definitely. . .you need help getting down from there?" Robin asked.

"Please. . .," Vickie said, and then she giggled. "Are you going to let go of me any time soon?"

"Uh, yeah, right!"

". . .unless you don't want to, then I'm okay with that."

Robin and Vickie burst out the curtains, rushing towards the door. Robin's arm was secured around Vickie's waist.

"See ya, Steve, don't pregnant!" Robin exclaimed.

"You see what I'm dealing with! I can't make any promises!"

"Slut!" Robin yelled.

"Whore!" Steve yelled back.

"Oh my god!" Vickie laughed.

"It's okay. Those are the nick names we chose for each of her. We picked them out of a hat," Robin replied. "It's all with affection."

"Anyway," Eddie said as he tried to remember what was going on. "Right! Uh, I had this big speech and story, but now. .the rocks are for you. I painted them your favorite colors. I was told you didn't like to be given dead things, so. . . rocks!"

"My favorite colors. . .pink and blue," Chrissy muttered.

"Pink and yellow. . .you talked to Robin and Vickie, didn't you?" Steve asked.

"Yeah," Eddie said. "I don't know if that's weird or stalkerish. . .I've never been a boyfriend before, let alone to two people."

Chrissy surged forward and kissed him. Eddie responded eagerly, wrapping his hands around her. He really couldn't stop it. . .he was a big bad metalhead. He wasn't supposed to make sounds like this. Eddie giggled delightfully against her lips. Chrissy pulled back, beaming, wiping away her lipstick with her thumb. She stepped back and let Steve take her place. He cupped Eddie's face and pulled him in for a kiss. Eddie's knees were already shaking from Chrissy's kiss, but when Steve kissed him, they couldn't hold him up anymore. Eddie's legs gave away, and Steve wrapped his arms around his waist to support him. Steve broke the kiss, still holding Eddie.

"Are you okay?" Steve asked.

"Where am I?" Eddie asked, and then he shook his head. "Am I dead? I mean, I'm fine!"

"You swooned, Eddie," Chrissy giggled.

"I did not!" Eddie shrieked.

"You totally swooned," Steve said.

Chrissy let out another giggle and kissed Steve.

"Definitely swoonworthy," Chrissy said.

"His knees were already shaking, babe," Steve said.

"You know, I don't know what's harder to believe that I have a type or that my type actually likes me," Eddie said with a sigh.

"I don't know why it's so surprising. . .considering that I once tried to join Hellfire myself once upon a time," Steve said, tucking a hair behind Eddie's ear.

"You did?" Chrissy asked.

"Oh. . .wait, you were serious about that? I thought you were fucking with me when you asked to join," Eddie said.

"I was just a young freshman who thought the guy in charge of the club was really cute," Steve said.

"Oh fuck, I was a total asshole to you," Eddie groaned.

"I totally get why you thought that, though. People like me, like us, didn't really help matters. Hey, you changed that. It took a lot of work, but you turned things around here," Steve said.

"You could ask to join again, I might have a different answer for you this time," he said, blushing.

"Nah, I only play with Dustin, Erica, and Robin. . .it's sort of a Scoops Troops thing. It's hard to explain," Steve said.

"Right, Starcourt," Eddie said, nodding.

"I think it's okay, you know, to have different interests, I think it's only truly important how you deal with them. Going a long way to respect the differences, I think, it shows that you kind of just want to be seen as a person," Steve said. "If makes any sense."

"That makes perfect sense, big boy," Eddie said, showing his dimples. "And you two are really okay with this?"

"More than okay," Chrissy said as she wrapped her arms around the both of them.

TWO WEEKS LATER. . .

Eddie grinned as he climbed up on the table, and he looked down at everyone. He was right, everyone who had different interests. . .they just want to be seen as people. He could see them now, now that they were no longer pretending to hate them. . .they were just trying to get by just like he was.

"Announcement, ladies, gentlemen, and. . .still undecided! I would like to formally declare that I, Eddie Munson, am officially off the market!" He yelled.

There were several cheers and groans of disappointment all throughout the cafeteria. There were also plenty of people who just did not care.

"But I realized that I was gay because of you!" Connor exclaimed.

"Connor, if you would look to your left, you'll realize that there is someone better and clearly more interested than I am," Eddie grinned.

"Patrick, is that true?" Connor asked.

"It's always been you, man," Patrick said.

"I just - I never wanted to assume - ,"

Patrick pulled Connor into a kiss. Connor didn't hesitate and returned the kiss.

"AWWW!"

"This is disgusting!" Jason yelled, standing up. "You're all going to - "

Suddenly, a basketball flew past and hit Jason in the face.

"Oh, man, I really have to work on my aim," a player said.

Eddie laughed and slid back into his chair next to Chrissy.

"Eddie, man, where's your - oh, nevermind," Jeff grinned.

Steve made his way over to the table, a visitor's pass sticker on his chest. In his hand was Eddie's vest.

"Hey, Steve!" Dustin exclaimed. "I didn't leave my lunch in your car again, it's right here!"

"No, I'm here for Eddie. He left his vest in my car," Steve said. "He called and said it was urgent."

Eddie grinned and made grabby hands for the vest. Steve handed it over to him when a third chair appeared between Chrissy and Eddie. He yanked Steve down into it.

"It wasn't as quite as urgent as I made it sound," Eddie grinned.

"You tricked me," Steve said.

"So, I wanted to have lunch with my boyfriend and girlfriend," Eddie said. "Sue me."

Steve smiled and kissed Eddie on the cheek. He turned to Chrissy and gave her a kiss on the lips.

"Hi," Chrissy giggled.

"Hey! How come she gets a kiss on the lips?" Eddie scowled.

"Because she didn't trick me to get me here," Steve said.

"Worth it," Eddie grinned and slid down so he could tuck his head into the crook of Steve’s neck as Chrissy slid her legs over Steve’s.

It was crazy how things changed. One minute, he was just as scared of jocks as they were of him, but it turns out. . .not so mean and scary as Eddie thought.

[miss-musings]

"Omega Needs You Both": A Deeper Look at Crosshair's Plan 99 Monologue

So, I had an interesting exchange with someone on Twitter about the 3.15 "change of plans" scene and what exactly Crosshair meant -- specifically by the line "Omega needs you both."

I figured I'd share my thoughts here, and do a breakdown of the dialogue in this scene.

We start with Crosshair seeing Tantiss' defenses and his hand starts shaking uncontrollably. But, he clenches his fist and gives his brothers an update:

Crosshair: They've got heavy patrols guarding the perimeter, with lurca hounds. Wrecker: Told you we should've brought Batcher.

Wrecker, who was mauled by a jungle creature in the previous episode, has basically been running on a combination of adrenaline, determination and med patches for at least an hour. As Wrecker says this line, he chuckles and then groans with pain from his wounds.

Crosshair notices and gives him a look that Wrecker can intuit even under his helmet.

Wrecker: Stop looking at me like that. I'm fine. Crosshair: No, you're not.

Crosshair sees the situation they're in: Their five-man squad is down two people already.

Tech is dead. (RIP, bestest boy! 😭)

Echo is inside the base, but they can't coordinate with him. For all they know, he might've been captured or killed after deactivating the science vessel's sensors at the end of 3.13.

And now, on top of Crosshair's own hand tremors, Wrecker is severely injured.

Clone Force 99 is down two people already, two of the remaining three aren't at full strength, AND they’re going into Tantiss without any (known) back-up. 😬

Even if they manage to get past the patrolling stormtroopers and lurca hounds, they still don't have an easy way in. (Of course, the Zillo beast solves both of these problems about two minutes later.)

So, knowing full well what they're going up against and seeing the bad shape his squad is in, Crosshair offers a solution:

Crosshair: Change of plans. You two head to the communications array and try to contact Rex. I'll infiltrate the base myself. Hunter: Not happening. Wrecker: Yeah, we've handled worse situations than this countless--

Wrecker of all people knows that their squad isn't invincible. But, I think he's trying to infuse some optimism into the conversation and convince Crosshair not to do something rash.

Meanwhile, Crosshair basically tries to do the exact same thing to Wrecker, but in a much harsher way:

Crosshair: Wake up, Wrecker! Clone Force 99 died with Tech. We're not that squad anymore.

Crosshair says what they're all probably thinking:

Clone Force 99 charged into every battle in the Clone Wars with full confidence and zero hesitation. Maybe they weren't exactly stupid about it, but they were definitely reckless.

Crosshair is trying to tell Wrecker that they're not that invincible squad anymore. They lost their MVP in Tech. They cannot afford to go recklessly charging into battle like they used to, which he believes Wrecker is suggesting.

Crosshair: I've been inside that mountain. I know what we're up against. If we all go in, we're not all making it out.

Again, even if they manage to get inside, Crosshair knows exactly how well-defended Tantiss is. He's trying to convince his brothers to get to safety, because he knows the odds are stacked against them and he doesn't want to lose them.

He wants to keep them safe. He wants to protect them. So, he uses the best logic he has to try to convince them: 🥺

Crosshair: Omega needs you both.

I know a lot of people look at this line and interpret it as: "Crosshair thinks Omega doesn't need him (like she needs Hunter and Wrecker)."

There's definitely an argument to be made for that.

Crosshair has major self-esteem issues throughout Season 3, and he definitely feels like he failed Omega after missing the shot to track her ship in 3.11.

I do think he believes that Hunter and Wrecker matter to her more.

I also think he doesn't know or fully accept exactly how much he means to her.

But, he must have some sense that his well-being is important to her — that she cares about him.

She refused point-blank to leave Tantiss without him. She spent five months telling him, convincing him, that they were going to escape together. For all his efforts to push her away, she never gave up on him. And when the opportunity finally came, she kept her word and freed him.

Between 3.05-3.11, Omega spends a lot of time with Crosshair.

She helps him reintegrate back into their family and reconcile with Hunter. She doesn't like when he suggests taking on CX-2 by himself. She tries to help him heal his hand and his mind. When she tries to convince them people can change, she reminds Crosshair that she never gave up on him.

She also told him multiple times in Seasons 1 and 3 that he was her brother. Omega always saw him as part of her family, and she wanted him in her life.

(EDIT: It’s also totally possible that Crosshair realizes Omega cares about him while ALSO believing she doesn’t need him. “She cares about me” =\= “she needs me,” especially compared to how much she needs Hunter and Wrecker. He is still weighed down by guilt and insecurity, after all, and feels like he failed her in 3.11.)

Again, I do think Crosshair underestimates and/or doesn't fully accept how much he means to her (or how much she needs him).

But, I think he’s ultimately trying to tell his brothers: "You two can't die, because Omega needs you."

Crosshair knows how much they care about her. He probably thinks they'll agree to anything -- no matter how stupid -- if helps guarantee her safety.

Omega is the best reason he has to convince them they need to live.

In general, Tech went through a similar process in 2.16.

He first told his family to "sever the connection hinge now," and Wrecker refused. He called for Plan 99 and Wrecker still tried to talk him out of it. So, he shot the connection hinge himself, because he knew they'd never let him go even if it meant they’d all die too.

(RIP. He really was the bestest boy and the squad's MVP.)

Crosshair is doing the same thing: he's trying to convince his brothers to let him sacrifice himself to ensure their safety. 😭

Now, Tech's situation was different. It really was "either he dies or they all die." There was no way around it.

But that's not a guarantee here in 3.15, although Crosshair thinks it is. (And as we see later, he's basically right. The CX operatives could've and would've killed them, but Hemlock apparently wanted them alive.)

Anyway, let's close out Crosshair's monologue:

Crosshair: So, I'm doing this alone. It's-- It's what I deserve.

Pairing this with his previous statement that Omega needs Hunter and Wrecker, it can definitely sound like "I don't matter to Omega (like you do), so I need to sacrifice myself." Again, there's an argument to be made for that.

(EDIT: I really think DBB’s delivery of “Omega needs you both. So, I’m doing this alone. It’s what I deserve” is a BIG part of why people interpret it the way they do. And they’re arguably not wrong to do so. It does feel in-character for Crosshair.)

But, I'm guessing he means that sacrificing himself will finally atone for everything he's done -- hunting down and nearly killing his family, killing all sorts of people for the Empire, failing his loved ones, etc.

He's telling them: "I've made so many mistakes. Let me make up for it now by keeping you safe."

Thankfully, Hunter and Wrecker talk him out of it.

Hunter: Don't even think about Plan 99, Crosshair. Omega needs all of us, and so do those clones. Wrecker: We've always known the risks, and so did Tech. We do this together.

Hunter affirms that Omega needs all three of them. He's using the same logic that Crosshair tried: "Don't throw your life away, because Omega needs you too."

And Wrecker tells Crosshair more clearly that he knows their squad isn't invincible anymore. But, if they're going to do anything, they're going to do it together.

I honestly wouldn't be surprised if Crosshair planned to keep arguing with them, but then they got distracted by the Zillo beast. 😅

In summary

If I had to rewrite Crosshair's monologue so it would more clearly convey what I think he's trying to say, it would go something like this:

Crosshair: Wrecker, we're not wild Clone Wars frat boys anymore. If we go rushing into Tantiss like we used to, we're all gonna die. You two need to live for Omega's sake. So, stay here and stay safe, and let me sacrifice myself. I nearly killed you all, and did a whole bunch of other bullshit, so I need to make up it.

As I said, I think a lot of these points are open to debate and discussion. But, I wanted to offer alternative interpretations for some of these iconic lines, because I feel like everyone keeps landing on the same (wrong) ones.

Feel free to comment/reblog with your thoughts!

[icyg4l]

Pick-A-Child Star: Inner Child Messages

In honor of Black History Month, I am continuing the series of highlighting Black icons while prioritizing the spiritual needs of Black Americans. Pick the image that resonates with you most.

Left-to-Right (1-3): Keke Palmer, Aleisha Allen, China Anne McClain

If you chose Pile One, you resonate with the energy of Keke Palmer. As we all know, she is a multi-talented human being. She is a singer-songwriter, actress, dancer, talk show host, podcaster and model. Her name is synonymous with the phrase 'busy bee'. Her infectious personality has followed us through movies and tv shows like True Jackson VP, Scream Queens, Akeelah and the Bee, Nope and much more. She continues to grace the screens with her charismatic nature.

"You're always wondering what you're not, can't you be happy with what you've got?"

When you were younger, you may have watched the tv show, 'How to Rock', starring Cymphonique. The premise of the show is navigating the social castes of high school. I channeled the theme song for this show. You really need to show some more gratitude, man. What's in your imagination is being reflected on the outside world; just enjoy the moment. Your brain is on overload all the time and you really need to rest. On Valentine's Day, you should give yourself some 'me time'. Another message that I get from your inner child is that you need to go play! For some of you, I sense that you're reluctant to let someone into your life when they have good intentions. I think high school plays a big role into why you navigate the world the way that you do. You are not in high school anymore! You are officially responsible for your own shit (that means the emotional trauma too, boo). Your inner child also wants you to know that you should take up some karate/self-defense classes. It is imperative that you learn how to stick up for yourself physically, not just verbally. Lastly, if you have lost a father figure, you should do that thing to honor his legacy such as getting a tattoo of him, getting a portrait painted of him, starting that company and naming it after him. You are your father's offspring, you know?

If you chose pile 2, this means you resonate with the energy of Aleisha Allen. She is most famously known for her roles in the 'Are We There Yet?' film series and School of Rock. Her cheeky portrayal of these characters solidified her as a Black child star icon. After starring in these classic films, she took on smaller roles in 'The Electric Company' and indie films. Since then, she has acquired a Bachelor's degree at Pace University and a Master's degree at Columbia University in Communication Science and Disorders to fulfill a career as a speech pathologist.

“I gets down, I don’t play”

Some of you may be in the midst of choosing a major after being undecided for so long. Some of you may switch majors a lot. Your inner child wants you to choose something that makes them come alive this time. In other words, choose a career path that's not boring to you. You could have ADHD/ADD or some type of learning disability. You need to slow down because you’re inviting some disingenuous energy. Your inner child does not trust the people that are around you. Your light shines too bright to be staying in spaces where you're not celebrated. This made me think of a video of Megan Thee Stallion talking about walking out of rooms where you don't feel comfortable. Do exactly that, my love. Everything will work out just fine if you believe that it will. Your inner child wants you to be as optimistic about this transition as possible. And lastly, you don't have to tolerate anyone's behavior, or quite frankly anything. If you feel like you have to put up with someone's bull, then you need to leave. You guys were quite the sassy kids, weren't you? Now, where did all of that energy go? Why are you dimming yourself down just to appeal to others? It doesn't matter if you're in a corporate meeting or a classroom filled with white people, you speak your mind. You know what's going on, don't be intimidated.

If you chose Pile 3, you resonate with the energy of China Anne McClain. She is known for her roles in Daddy’s Little Girls, A.N.T. Farm, the Descendants series and Black Lightning. Her range in roles highlights her witty, yet dramatic personality, which is the reason for any drawn interest in her. She is also a singer-songwriter who was once in a girl group with her older sisters, Lauryn and Sierra. Since then, she has documented her spiritual journey on social media after quitting acting.

“I’ve got friends on the other side”

This is the pile that I would probably choose. This is the pile of the hoodoos/witches/spiritualists/occultists. Your inner child wants you to know that the spells you’ve been casting have been working. As a child, you may have had some experiences with ghosts/spirits. Nobody believed you but who cares? They’re your friends now. There may be a cousin that you haven’t seen/talked to in a while. Please talk to them! Your inner child misses them so much! It doesn’t matter if you’re not on good terms with them, please go do it. For some reason, you should go play hide and seek. This could also mean that you should prepare for an item of yours to go missing temporarily. It could also mean that you will find out some information that you’ve been searching for. Finally, if you feel like you have nowhere to go, think again! Your inner child wants to go to place where you once frequented. This could be the beach, an arcade or the park. Go have a picnic. Go insert those coins/swipe that card into your favorite apocalypse game. Go dig your toes into the sand! You are going through self-actualization and it is important that you stay grounded. Be prepared to step into uncomfortable positions. Connecting with your inner child is a way to do so. It is essential for your growth as a person.

[mdhwrites]

You've said before how you feel about Luz abandoning the Isles when they needed her because she refused to try and fix it. I think it's said that she genuinely believed she would only make things worse so she thought she needed to take herself out of the way? Are my memories faulty?

Okay so I'm going to start with a scenario to make my point clear because you're not wrong... But you also are.

Let's say you're assigned two partners for a science project. You decide the best way to split the work up evenly is to have one person do the research, one person to write up the conclusions and one person to do a lot of math for the calculations you'll need. You each state your strengths with one saying writing, one saying research and the last saying, "I like math."

However, a week passes and you are struggling to finish any it because you've gotten none of those calculations for it back. When you push, the person goes, "Well sure, I like math but I suck at it. As such, my calculations would have been wrong. That would have caused you all problems so I decided the thing that made the most sense would be not to do anything at all." The project still needs to be done though and the majority of the work has been done for them. As such, now you and the second person have to work your ass off to do what your third member cannot while they contribute nothing but they promise they feel really bad about it and they're okay taking a C if this ends up making the project fail, even though their actions would have gotten them an F on their own.

Luz likes to make decisions. She essentially never consults ANYONE on what she should do and half the time someone tells her, "Don't do X," she goes ahead and does it. This also constantly gets other people in trouble and gets her in trouble because she is really bad at making decisions. And yes, with helping Belos free the Collector, she admits that she made a terrible mistake and that she makes a lot of mistakes. Her literal statement on this is that she'll finally listen to her mom and learn from her mistakes by staying in the Human Realm. Permanently.

Do you potentially notice a problem here though? Yeah, my thoughts have NEVER stopped at "Luz left a planet to die because she wanted to stay home." No. I always do mention that she claims part of her reasoning is because she makes stupid, rash decisions on her own that hurt others but then she goes ahead and makes a stupid, albeit with implied a LOT of thought, decision ON HER OWN that will hurt people.

Do you know a great way to avoid making a mistake? Asking someone else if it's the right choice to make. Or hey, just decide you don't need to lead anymore. If your decisions are the problem then let someone else make the decisions. But... Then Luz doesn't get to do the fun thing she likes to do. She actually has to listen to other people and maybe do things that aren't her number one option because her first choice would get people hurt. That isn't what Luz wants. Luz doesn't want to actually grow or learn or get scolded for her mistakes. Otherwise, she wouldn't CONSTANTLY LIE ABOUT EVERYTHING.

So instead... Why not just let them suffer the consequences while she stays home and lives in peace, her problems in a far off fantasy realm that she never has to think about again? People always like to say she's giving up so much but what is she actually giving up? The fantasy world? You mean the one that's currently ravaged by a child god and has a populace that she assumes will hate her? Yeah, that's hardly something to give up. The chance at friends? Too bad Thanks to Them shows people who are very interested in being her friend and also Yesterday's Lie showed there are people like Luz who would probably be willing to be her friend. What is Luz sacrificing by deciding to just sit at home with her loving mom and live a normal life?

So why grow? Why learn? Why try to do better? When you can do nothing. That's what Luz wants to do. She wants to just stay home and do nothing, even as that means condemning an entire world, bare minimum at least a continent, which includes her found family and friends, to death. Her claims of trying to do better are nothing but excuses so she can have a clear conscious as she allows thousands upon thousands to be enslaved and tortured.

So yes, she SAYS that she is doing this because she doesn't want to make things worse. The problem is that there are plenty of ways for her to still have even attempted to help without having to make the decisions she's afraid to make worse but those options would require more work and require her not to be the star. And none of this, even if this is the most expanded version of this point, is missing from those past blogs because they also talk about how she claims to have a problem making decisions and yet still makes this choice entirely on her own.

Because she isn't learning. She's just deciding that some broken puppets are a small price to pay to keep getting to do whatever she wants. It is an excuse, end of story. See you next tale.

======+++++======

Sorry for so many blogs about this. It's admittedly to me a very important point because it's the moment Lumity dies. It's the moment that Luz's character can never recover. It's the moment when the TOH fandom became genuinely horrifying when it comes to mental health as THANK GOD no one has tried to refute this with "She has depression" because yes, that will get you blocked if you try to tell me that. I am disabled by depression and I understand lives still matter. I understand I'm not supposed to lie, CONSTANTLY. I understand basic ass morality, unlike Luz. And in this moment, there's no turning back for her, let alone after For the Future when she doubles down on how selfish her desires are.

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[sirfrogsworth]

There is this need from people on the left to discredit Elon's contributions to Tesla and SpaceX. This notion "he just pays smart people to do everything and then he takes all the credit" is mentioned just about any time Tesla or SpaceX does something cool.

If you weren't aware, SpaceX caught a rocket booster this morning and it might be one of the biggest engineering achievements in recent history.

I haven't been able to find much about his technical contributions to Tesla. It does seem like in the early days he was quite involved with the engineering. His most recent contributions to Tesla have been nothing short of disasters. But I don't think he really cares much about Tesla anymore. His obsession with colonizing Mars has taken priority and so he just hands his Tesla engineers a picture of a Dorito and says, "Make this a truck" and fucks off to do space shit.

But every bit of research I've done regarding SpaceX shows that he knows his shit. His "Chief Engineer" status is not just ceremonial. His tours of SpaceX with Everyday Astronaut show him speaking in depth and off the cuff about every aspect of the rocket program.

And then I saw this interview with a former NASA and SpaceX engineer, and she pretty much confirmed that Elon knows his shit.

[Starts at 20:16]

She wasn't pressured to say that. I think it is pretty clear that was her honest opinion.

I don't think SpaceX is only successful because of Elon. She even complains that the billionaire owners tend to get the bulk of the credit when there are thousands of talented people working together to do these amazing things.

But I do think Elon's aggressive strategy of "blow shit up until it works" has helped SpaceX leapfrog pretty much every other rocket manufacturer trying to do things in space. From what I can tell, the competition is laughably behind.

And I guess I really don't care if Elon gets credit for his rocket engineering skills or not. But I do always prefer to start from the truth. And so when people say he doesn't know anything, I have this frustrating need to push back despite how I feel about Elon.

It's similar to how I defend Apple sometimes. I don't like Apple very much as a company. But I think they are better than Google and Samsung (especially when it comes to privacy) and I do like some of their products. I'm not going to say something is bad when it isn't.

Elon is a terrible person. And there is evidence that he creates a lot of headaches for his employees. And his politics have become intolerable.

He is an awful piece of shit.

But he is also a legit rocket engineer.

Sometimes shitty people are good at stuff.

I don't think he is the *best* rocket engineer. He is probably quite mediocre in comparison to most of the people at SpaceX. But he is not doing astronaut cosplay like the other billionaires.

Personally, I think maybe it is more frustrating that Elon isn't actually a giant idiot in all things. He is capable of intelligence when he wants to be. And I think that is worse than Trump who is just genuinely ignorant. Elon can learn extremely complicated systems and understand them. He has that capability. And he often just chooses not to and then wields his ignorance in a way that hurts others.

When he is passionate and determined he will read every textbook and learn every schematic. But he is so narcissistic that he thinks intelligence just... transfers.

And I think this is a problem with a lot of people who excel in some kind of academic context. They think because they are smart about one thing, they are smart about everything. And they believe they don't actually have to put in the work and truly learn and understand it.

Or they will look at other things that are less complicated than the thing they know and believe they can intuit knowledge about it because it is simpler.

Like... learning rocket science is harder than learning to run a McDonald's. But I am willing to bet Elon thinks he could be plopped into the middle of a McDonald's with no training and not only do a good job, but run a McDonald's better than any person ever in the history of McDonald's.

When in reality, a person with years of experience competently running a McDonald's would do a much better job. Elon would most likely be a disaster.

But in his mind... "It's not like it is rocket science."

Is it easier or more comforting to just write Elon off as an idiot in all things?

Or would it be more useful to understand he doesn't have to be an idiot, but he just does not care enough to relieve himself of ignorance?

I sometimes wonder if the truth even matters in this case. My need to be truthful isn't helpful. "Elon is an idiot" is simpler. And it is usually true.

I dunno.

I just hate that he is involved in something I love. And that if I want to follow space shit, I have to acknowledge Elon's existence.

[grendil9]

All modern food is also designed to work best in brown and black stomachs, especially in the generation of testosterone. Which is quite possibly the main reason why black men steal so many white women away into racemixing. Real non-golem white men simply cannot perform.

This started back in 2000, most of the food-distribution plants that weren't golem-owned were burned down. Their owners were typically older and employed brown people so between the owners and laborers not one of them even knew what shadowbanning was.

So naturally those owners just posted some nonsense complaints or conspiracies and nobody but bots responded, and they just shrugged and enjoyed the boomer retirement package (better than any generation of white people will ever have again.)

I still remember the week a few months back that you all noticed the burnings for the first time. The burnings had been happening for quite a while and are still happening right now. Naturally you don't fucking care anymore you dumb slaves.

The news spoke about it once and promptly forgot, which is the trick they pull for every single fucking thing. "Memory holing" they call it.

I guess the human mind cannot conceive of the fact that the news exists not to tell you things, but to tell you something once and then stop talking about it. Thus deceiving you into believing that it must not have been that important after all, and so you should stop thinking about it. And of course that's exactly what your "subconscious" does. I don't think there is a "subconscious", I don't think brain science stuff is real at all. Not one word.

Anyway, in every still-standing food production building, every animal is dosed via feed or injections to destroy testosterone in white men. Especially milk and dairy. Milk especially also makes you insanely horny to boot and shrinks your balls gradually over many months, if you're a white man. Obviously this is to create infertility so that the Skeksis can live in their perfect world of wretchedness and hatred and domination and doom over the many races. And God seems to love, love, love it! Yippie!

[topazy]

Hunted

Pairing: Liam Dunbar x reader

Warning: None

Chapter: 6.05

You sit in silence watching as Liam wraps tape around his lacrosse stick; nothing you could have said would change the way he feels. The ghost riders had taken all the people your pack tried so hard to protect, but Liam had taken it the hardest and was blaming himself. He arrived at the science lab just as the ghost rider that was trying to attack you vanished, looking so defeated and broken.

You presume it was the presence of a hellhound that scared the ghost rider off.

Hearing footsteps, you lift your head up, forcing a smile when Hayden, Mason, and Corey walk into the boys locker room. “What are you guys still doing here?”

Neither of you say anything.

“None of this was your fall.” Mason puts his hand on Liam’s shoulder. “There was just so much happening tonight, it was impossible to save everyone.”

After the game, Coach had made Liam team captain, and under any other circumstances he would have been delighted; becoming captain was something he had wanted for so long.

Feeling your phone vibrate, you walk to the other side of the changing room. The sound of static keeps interfering. “Scott, I can’t hear you.”

His voice comes through like mumbling.

“Can you say that again?”

He repeats himself, but this time his voice is clearer. The phone starts to slip from your grip, but Hayden is by your side and catches it before it hits the ground.

“What’s happened?” Liam wraps his arm around your waist, holding you upright. “Babe, what’s happened?”

“My uncle Chris is in the hospital.”

—

“You should be in school.”

Hearing your uncle's voice, you sit upright in the hard plastic chair you were starting to doze off in. Seeing him with so many injuries made tears well up in your eyes; it was bringing back the pain of losing Allison. “I thought I was going to lose you.”

He strokes the back of your back, “I’m going to be fine.”

“I don’t want to lose anyone else.”

Just as you begin to hysterically sob, Melissa comes into the room and kneels down so she’s level with you. “Hey, Chris is going to be fine. Argent’s are made of rubber.”

Y/n Argent.

That didn’t feel right.

You wanted… It definitely wasn’t your mom, and you don’t have a dad anymore. Not since Kate killed the man she let you believe was your father for most of your life.

“I just feel so alone.”

Melissa pulls you in for a tight hug and says, “You’re not alone. I think you should stay with me and Scott until Chris is out of the hospital.”

“Thank you,” your uncle gives her an appreciative nod.

They make eye contact and share an intense look, one you try to ignore. The last thing you needed to think about was whatever was going on between the two of them.

“Yeah, thank you.”

Melissa stands back up and awkwardly breaks eye contact with your uncle, her cheeks turning red. She clears her throat while smoothing out her scrubs. “I have a spare key in my locker; I’ll go and get it. Unless you want to wait until I finish my shift.”

“I better go to Liam’s house first; I left my backpack for school at his. I can text Scott and ask him to pick me up on the way back home. But thank you; this means a lot.”

She gives you a warm smile, “Don't worry about it. You're in Scott's pack, and that makes you family.”

—

Feeling exhausted, you flop down onto the bed beside Liam. You chuckle lightly when Liam outstretches his arm so you can cuddle into him. “Can I ask you something?”

“Shoot.”

“Do you ever get the feeling something is wrong but you can’t fully understand or explain what’s wrong? I just... something has changed, but I’m not sure what.”

“I need to see what you just said in writing.”

You both laughed; you were so exhausted your brain felt as if it was turning to mush. “I just need to sleep before trying to have a real conversation again.”

“Scott knows you're here, doesn’t he?”

After showering, you said goodnight to Melissa and Scott. You went to sleep in the spare room, but you had this gnawing feeling in the back of your mind that Liam wasn’t okay, so you snuck out of the McCall house by climbing out of the window. We went to the Dunbar house. Melissa probably wouldn’t have been too happy, but unless she came to check on you during the middle of the night, she wouldn’t know.

“Yeah, Scott most definitely knows.”

“I can give you a lift back in a couple of hours before Mrs. McCall gets up.”

You cuddle closer into him, “Thanks.”

Liam kisses your forehead, “But in the meantime, try and get some sleep.”

Not long after your eyes shut over, you begin to dream of different things, and even while in a dream-like state, you still feel a sense of deja vu. You see a board with different names on it, but none of them are clear enough to read. You are in a hospital bed, and someone is holding your hand, but you can’t see beyond their arm. And the last thing you remember seeing is seeing writing on your hand.

ᗩᖇGEᑎT ᕼᗩᒪE

[positivelybeastly]

Beast and Dark Beast

The thing that gets me about the 'Dark Beast is just who Hank is given time' thing I see thrown around every now and then is that it fundamentally misunderstands literal decades age characterisation and the entire narrative point of the evil doppelgänger.

Like, I genuinely think that anyone who writes these characters almost has to be sat down and made to read X-Men Unlimited vol. 1 #10, and that's not an exaggeration, because Dark Beast is NOT Hank if he was evil. What he is, is something more subtle and interesting than that. He is Hank if his socialisation was completely different, and that's a fundamentally different thing.

He grew up in an aggressively social Darwinist society that was obsessed with genetic purity, the superiority of mutantkind, the codification of the idea that some people are just better because of their genes. Literally everyone in that world is different, because how in god's name would they stay the same?

On some level, Dark Beast is aware that his world is fundamentally cruel and without faith and optimism and belief and love. It's a fucking hellpit. It's the worst possible world. And he knows that. He knows, on some level, that there was a time where he wasn't like how he was, that there was a time where he did have faith. He is, on some level, aware that this is not all he could be.

But he also believes that this is all he can be, because to be anything else is to be weak, and thus you get your teeth kicked in and you get your lunch money taken away and you get shanked in the head.

Like, this sequence is so fascinating because this murder is meaningless except as performance - and performance for a world that Dark Beast isn't even in anymore! It's empty.

Someone has to die - why? Because that's just the way the world is. Because if someone doesn't have to die, then my entire worldview is meaningless, I could have made different choices, swam upstream, maybe died as a result, but at least I wouldn't have done all that. Because if someone doesn't have to die, then everything I did was actually just straight up evil and I have to start worrying about morality, and that feels bad. That makes me feel weak and unhappy and angry and ashamed and I don't like that.

If someone doesn't have to die, then I could have made different choices. And I don't like the idea that I made the wrong ones.

Morality is subjective. Science is absolute. I don't have to think about it. Like, Dark Beast criticises Hank for this, but it gets at why Dark Beast has never been half the scientist Hank is, never will be half the scientist Hank is.

Because he is fundamentally incurious. He's asking questions, but they're not the right questions if you ever want to get an answer that fucking means anything.

He'll never be the scientist you are, huh?

Go ahead, loser. Fucking solve it. Best guess.

Oh, you don't have a fucking clue? I'm shocked.

There's a reason that Isaac Newton said that, "If I have seen further, it is by standing on the shoulders of giants." Collaboration, peer review, question, counter-question, interrogation, inquiry, the simple act of asking, hey, what if all of this is completely wrong and we're looking in the wrong place? All of this is what science actually is.

It is not the act of pinioning flesh open and poking at what falls out. That's butchery, and it's hackery. There's a reason that pretty much all of the medical research conducted by the Nazis has been discredited, because it's bad science on top of being completely morally abhorrent! You don't learn anything through brutality! You only reinforce your own brutality! You go looking for answers, and you find them, because anything that disagrees with your preconceived notions, you ignore!

And Hank is not like that. It's no coincidence that the exact same issue that dives into Dark Beast's psychology has this scene in it.

And it's just. This is not an aberration in Hank's writing. This is how he's hard coded. This is who he is.

Choice.

Hank was given a choice. Dark Beast wasn't. And the difference between them is that, when given further choices, Hank continued to recognise that he had choices, while Dark Beast refused to admit that he had ever had a choice.

The point. Of the evil twin. Of the doppelganger. Of the shadow. Is to examine what changes, and what doesn't. There is a reason that Dark Beast was chosen to survive the Age of Apocalypse, and persist 30 years past the point where his timeline was truly relevant. There is a reason that he was chosen over AoA Cyclops, or AoA Wolverine, or AoA Jean Grey, or any of them, to come over, and persist, and survive. There is a reason he keeps coming back to life. He has died twice, and come back, for a reason.

Because he is interesting. Because he's fun. Because he's everything that Hank is, twisted one hundred and eighty degrees and made frightening. Because he is such a contrast to Hank. And it's just. It's such a betrayal of long form storytelling and narrative techniques to take one look at the good twin, and go, what if they were secretly always evil, actually? What if the evil twin was actually just foreshadowing?

It's fucking boring.

Evil Hank is 'we have Dark Beast at home.' Evil Hank is dull, and boring, and an edgelord's idea of a mad scientist. He is not curious, he is not funny, he is not interesting. His entire ethos can be summed up in one sentence, the ends justify the means, and that's it. There's nothing more to him. He's a joke of a character. Can you write anything substantive about that version of character that isn't just a summary of his bad choices? No, you can't, because he's a collection of shitty tropes and badly researched continuity pulls. There's no point talking about him.

What happens if you put evil Hank in this situation?

Like, legitimately. If you put X-Force Beast in this situation, is there any real question as to what he'll do? No. And that is boring. It is, quite literally, actually, factually, in the most basic definition of the word, predictable.

This is the single most intriguing panel that Dark Beast has ever been in, because I genuinely don't know what he's thinking. I don't know what he's going to do. Because I don't think he knows what he's thinking, or what he's going to do. He's overwhelmed. He's emotional. He's possessed by something, but he doesn't have words for it. It's not absolute, it's subjective. It doesn't make sense. It's illogical. Irrational. It infuriates him. It fascinates me.

That, is the narrative point of the evil doppelganger. To put a version of a character you know in a situation where you know what the good version would do, and see what they would do. To see what changes, and what doesn't. So that you can be surprised at what is the same and what is different.

Saying, well, actually, they've always been exactly the same person, is fucking stupid. It betrays a belief in, fuckin', in fuckin' genetic essentialism! That all we ever are is a product of our genes and that we're never destined to be anything than what a string in our genes says we are. And it completely misunderstands why Dark Beast is the way that he is!

Dark Beast did not come into the world a monster. The world he lived in made him a monster. If you want to say that Hank is Dark Beast, just given time, then what the fuck are you saying about the world that mutants live in? That the X-Men have created? About Earth-616?

Do you really want to imply that the Marvel Universe is such a fucking hellscape for mutants that it literally has the exact same effect on Hank McCoy as the Age of fucking Apocalypse? Because why in the fuck should I even read about the X-Men, if that's what they've managed to accomplish in their 60 years of publication? What great fuckin' heroes.

Like, just. What actually happens to Hank, given time? What's more common for him to experience? Across the multiverse?

Mutation.

Misery.

Betrayal.

Death.

Seriously, go back and read old What If comics, and you'll notice that almost any time that things go bad for the X-Men, Beast dies, almost immediately, because it's an immediate sign that things have gone wrong. It is way more common for Hank to be the one who suffers rather than inflicting suffering, canonically. Just because Dark Beast is the only one people know about doesn't mean that he's the only one who exists.

Dark Beast is not an inevitability. He's an eventuality. He's a case study in nature vs. nurture. He's the worst case scenario. He's the shadow cast by Hank's light. There's a reason Hank persists, even damaged by bad writing as he is - because he's worth reading about.

Because he's interesting. Because, despite being 61 years old, there are still stories worth telling about him.

Because fundamentally, funny blue man who looks like a monster but is actually a good guy, is a better concept than, blue monster man that is evil and only evil. And the fact that people don't seem to grasp that idea in 2024 is. Baffling, to me. The fact that people would rather the boring answer, because it appeals to the edgelord in them, just makes me want to roll my goddamn eyes.

Bleh. Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk. Ask for better, more complex stories, please.

[jeannie-youre-a-tragedy]

A big part of why Artists feel so negatively about people in the tech industry is that the Tech Workers also fall into the trap of believing their work is more Noble And Superior than anyone else's, and they tend to get pretty obnoxious about it too (Even if Tumblr these days doesn't have those types on here anymore). It especially doesn't help that there's always been a huge push in American culture to value hard sciences/STEM over soft sciences like arts and philosophy, which results in people who think that STEM is the only intellectual pursuit that's Useful, and another who believes the exact opposite and that only the humanities are Truly Intellectual.

i hope you won't take this response too disparagingly because i truly do see what makes you say this. but this is kind of a made up problem. just like how there are people discouraged from being artists, there are people discouraged from being scientists or engineers, or honestly, even people who are discouraged from ever wanting to engage with bureaucracy or sociology. i know a lot of engineers who've gone through this and who have never remotely had that sort of superiority complex, because they're the people exploited to have to jump between failed start up to failed start up, or crushed under the tedium of having to code for multinational corporations without them owning any of their code and being subject to extremely violent crunch times. none of those people believe their work is Noble and Superior, probably because they don't get the luxury to see their work as their own (because, say, a graphic designer who is by all means An Artist in the aesthetic sense will also lack that luxury.). you're conflating the very real proletariat workers of these industries with their bourgeoise counterparts, the ones who hold the means to pay the coders, the ones who launch the startups with loans from their rich parents, the ones who don't actually do the production or the labor, who do have a very real entitled attitude, but not any more than academics in humanities, or publishing houses for books, or art gallery owners. any sort of perceived "favoritism" from hegemonic culture exists both ways because it's, fundamentally, a distraction from looking closely at the class relations existent in any industry at all.

[a-dinosaur-a-day]

What's BANDits? I've heard the term before but idk what it is

BANDit stands for "Birds Are Not Dinosaurs" - its. IE, its the term for the group of "scientists" that have continued to insist birds did not evolve from dinosauria despite literally boatloads of evidence to the contrary.

You see, we haven't always known birds are dinosaurs. When we were first thinking about evolution (in the Western World, remember: lots of colonized people had ideas about evolution *and* paleontology that White People essentially wiped out when we colonized them), a lot of people pointed out the similarities between many of the dinosaurs being found and living birds. MANY. It was common knowledge in the 1800s among scientists.

But then along came this guy Dollo. Dollo didn't like the idea birds evolved from dinosaurs. See, he found wishbones in birds. He found wishbones in some of the triassic weirdos of the past, things that dinosaurs would evolve from. But he didn't find wishbones in dinosaurs. And Dollo was convinced that a structure couldn't re-evolve if it had been lost during evolution. So, to him, there was no way birds could be dinosaurs.

There were problems with this:

he didn't know about how traits are gained and lost genetically. In fact, he didn't really know about *genetics*. There are lots of ways to re-gain a trait you lost (if you only lost it by turning off its regulatory genes, or you re-evolve it convergently, that kind of thing).

at the time, we had dinosaur wishbones. we just didn't know thats what they were.

since then, we have found waaaaay more dinosaur wishbones. And also, tons of other evidence. so much evidence. at this point, there is literally nothing else birds could be.

it took time to build up that evidence. For the entire first half of the 1900s, and a good chunk of the second, no one believed birds evolved from dinosaurs.

But then we started to find the evidence.

And we found more.

And more.

And more.

By the 80s, it was becoming pretty clear that birds probably evolved from dinosaurs. At this point, documentaries and fictional material are even referencing it. But, there was still a group of skeptics, the first true BANDits (because at this point it was not the majority opinion). And that's okay - skepticism is important in science.

Its the fact that they KEPT being skeptical even as more and more evidence poured in. By the mid-90s, it was incontrovertible, because we had found fossils of feathered but very clearly nonavian dinosaurs. By the 00s, we were finding them CONSTANTLY.

And yet, the BANDits kept BANDiting.

Most of them have died, because they were old and stubborn. Very few new scientists are BANDits. It's really just

A) in russia, because russia has had a... weird history with paleontology. I don't want to get into it

B) those remaining few old people who refuse to change their minds in light of new evidence (this would be Feduccia)

in the 10s, they were really annoying, because enough of them were still around that people thought they were good scientists (they're not), and so if you said "birds are dinosaurs" at least one person would bring up banditry to prove you wrong, and then you had to go on a whole spiel, and it was exhausting

In the late 10s and now 20s, that's pretty much dead. It's just impossible to argue with anymore. I don't know how Feduccia keeps publishing his crappy books, but I really wish that someone would say "I can't publish this" bc people read them and think they're right.

Like, birds are *such* dinosaurs that we don't even know at what point dinosaurs are firmly birds. It's kind of murkey, because nature doesn't do categories.

So, yeah. That's what a BANDit is. They're almost extinct. May they become as such by the 30s.

[desi-girll]

TW: don't read if you don't want to know about self harm, but again, this is a positive post because it's about recovery, so nothing very explicit... but again, please don't read if you might get triggered <3

Page 261 of 366

Dear diary 🧸,

so, today is a big day for me. and when i say big, i mean it in a really really proud way.

because

today, 17th September 2024, marks one year of me being clean from self harm ♡

and i feel like the credit for this one goes entirely to me. last year and before that, my mental health was a shitshow. i was in a toxic friend group, very very insecure of my body, and thought that maybe I'm doomed to be be "ugly" girl. then, of course, the pressure of being a 11th grade science student. i'm sure most of the ones who have been, can relate? parents not understanding, marks not upto our expectations, exams, assignments and what not. so much pressure. but maybe it was just me who couldn't deal with the pressure and got more addicted to something I'd already been doing for 2 years prior to that.

on september 17th, 2023, getting a 4 out of 30 in physics? let's cut again, in the bathroom. believe me, i was addicted to the feel of the sharp compass needle against my skin. to this day, although healed, i still regret the feel of the scars on my thighs. i wish i hadn't ruined God's gift like that. i really do. but maybe it'll go away with time.

so, anyways, on that day suddenly i decided i don't wanna be like this anymore. i wanna heal myself and my relationship with my body. so i just kinda stopped. and trust me, it wasn't easy. so many times, i just randomly started thinking about how good it used to feel, sometimes my emotions were so strong that it was really hard to not start again but now i know how to restrain myself. i know a little bit of self control.

moreover, what really helped in boosting my self esteem was working out. i never that the solution to a positive body image for me maybe to move around and yknow, exercise a lil. and now, what motivates me the most is when i hear compliments from the same people who used to pass comments about my body before. i actually love my body now, or am trying my best to, because unlike one year prior, i'm really fucking fit and healthy now <3

so yes, that's the story and i hope this 1 year can progress to 2, then 3, then 4 and then slowly be a thing i struggled with, in my teenage years but then taught myself a way out of it.

for those of yall out there, struggling with any kind of self destructive behavior, be safe please. i promise you, there are so many ways to heal and recovery is one hundred percent possible ♡

love,

me

[shiftingconfessions]

Why getting offended over something ANOTHER person will do in ANOTHER reality? It has nothing to do with you, regardless if you agree or not with their choices. The problems of THIS reality are the problems of THIS reality. To get into shifting, first accept infinity. Accept that shifting is not moral, ethic, logical. Accept real change. Your choosen life is not a book. You are not writing a book. It's not a show people from here will be watching.

This will probably be the last time I speak about it. Don't commit to something you can't understand or don't care to understand. Don't commit to a practice you don't really know about. You'll get into shifting and see people publicly saying they are doing something in their dr's you don't agree with. You know what to do about that? Absolutely nothing. If you can't accept this, maybe shifting is not for you.

Ego, misinformation, lies aren't welcome in spirituality or any cosmic practice either. Log off TikTok. Log off Instagram. Shifting is not on the screen, neither on your head. Try taking it a little more seriously instead of a fun hobby that came out of TikTok. Do not trust everything blindly. What others say of shifting (especially the new age) cannot always be true.

There are people who lie about their experiences and get away with it because everyone refuses to NOT believe everything. Seriously, stop believing every pseudo post online.

You may not agree with me. That's completely fine. Still, in these last few years, TikTok surely made people start twisting and confusing the practice. In science and spirituality, experimenting, learning, and studying is essential. Also, yes, shifting can be a mix of beliefs. Yes, people can believe in whatever they want, but it becomes dangerous when it crosses the line. I'll always say this: be careful with yourself, your limits and mental health. Do not let the despair or urgency mess with your head.

Also, if someone race changes, ages themselves down or whatever they do with THEIR lives is THEIR choice. You clearly don't understand anything about infinity if you keep bothered by people doing these things. "It's bad" "only x people believe it's okay", literally, you haven't known the real community to say this. There are people from multiple races who race changes in their dr's, age themselves down, do whatever they want. You should do what makes you comfortable. Infinity is not about what's right and wrong. It doesn't exist when we talk about multiverse/reality switching. Most of these cases are stupid and most of these people won't even come back after they shift, stop being so bothered. Later, you complain that no one shares stories or dr things anymore. The community is dying etc etc. Of course it is and it will keep on fading away because of stupid shaming you do towards other's lives that has NOTHING to do with yours. Absolutely nothing. YOU create problems that don't even exist in the whole shifting concept and if you hate this, go to a reality where everything is exactly as you want. Every shifter follows what you want them to. You're also a shifter, right?

Infinity is not a fairytale and it can be quite "ugly" to our human minds. Man made laws do not apply to this. It's not about having no morals, but about understanding that the whole shifting concept doesn't need them. Infinity doesn't need it. Spirituality doesn't need it. People have free will, as well as you. You can have your opinions, but shifting is not about that. You keep killing the practice every time you be like "this is bad" "this is wrong" "this is problematic" If you think so, then quit, or at least try to be more open minded. You have the option to block people and ignore them if you don't agree with them. You have the option to quit if you can't fathom the rawness of shifting.

Take care of YOUR lives. Do not create discussions over all of it. Personally, I think these opinions are just personal thoughts of a quite closed minded person. Don't speak about infinity if you're going to keep making posts about "shifting things that don't sit well with me", "things you shouldn't do in your Dr" etc. It doesn't sit well with you because you can't understand the practice and what you're trying to do. You all want to be spiritual and shift but only when it's romanticized and "polite". When the real spirituality and the real shifting comes through, you get weirded out. You know why? That's because you don't understand a single thing of what you claim to be. You're just trying to be trendy, most probably. Non-human things won't adapt to your tiny human mind. YOU adapt to them.

I won't try to change your mind. I have no obligation. If you want to keep pretending to understand things and then keep making up discussions, it's your problem. You learn spirituality off TikTok and Instagram and go around claiming to be spiritual. You learn shifting off TikTok and go around claiming to be a shifter. Get outside and start truly learning something for once.

"I studied and still think it's wrong" then don't practice, or at least, stop sharing your opinions as solid facts/rules. Stop shaming others. Keep it to yourself. You're not "calling problems out", you're CREATING problems. You're making a new shifting inside your head to adapt to yourself. YOU adapt to shifting, not the opposite.

"this community is so problematic" then quit. No one is holding you hostage. I ain't going to be the good positive affectionate shifter that will keep trying to motivate you. Besides, you hating on race changers or people who do "wrong" things in their dr's, yet, you use THEIR methods, THEIR informations. Hope you know that. If you're unhappy, then start doing your own stuff and, again, shift to a reality where the community has the same thoughts as you etc.

I had more to say, but I'll just stop by here because I know these words won't change anything. Some of you just see shifting as a fanfiction and treat spirituality as an accessory and your behavior shows it.

.

[wildwinterlunas]

General Lore of Halloween Terrors

Now before I get into the characters of Halloween Terrors let's start off with the general lore around the world of Halloween Terrors.

First off, what is the story?

Well the world of Halloween Terrors was initially a story told by Reinhardt during a Halloween party, in an effort to show up Cassidy's werewolf story;

(Side note: I love this comic)

However, considering how the story has progressed, I don't think that is just the case anymore. I think at this point the Halloween Terrors Universe is on the same playing field as Starwatch, that meaning I believe it is it's own separate universe.

Now what is the general backstory of this universe? Well let's start off with a few foot notes.

Before the events of Junkenstein there was a war, a war that The Gunslinger and The Solider talk about in voice lines, no other character mentions this war so it can be assumed that this war only happened in America.

The world and countries of this world are exactly the same as our own, at least existence wise. There are no renaming's of any countries.

There is no question in this universe on whether or not magic is real, magic is defiantly real. However, alchemy and divine channelling are not considered magic. Alchemy is considered science and divine channelling is considered a separate thing from magic.

It's not just Halloween monsters that are real in this universe but fantasy creatures as well, such as dragons.

Now with that out of the way let's get into the surface level story of Halloween Terrors.

The first event is Junkensteins Revenge, after being scorned and insulted by the king Dr. Junkenstein tries to prove him and everyone wrong by creating life. With body parts he acquired from The Butcher, he created his monster. However bringing it to life was proving to fail time and time again.

Until The Witch of the Wilds saw potential in him and gave him a magic crystal in exchange for his service to her;

After that Junkenstein's Monster was given life;

However as a reaction to this rampage Four Heroes appeared, The Gunslinger, The Archer, The Alchemist and The Solider. Together they banded together and put a stop the Junkenstein, his monster, The Witch and her minion The Reaper.

There was peace for a time...

But the Witch was not done, she herself wanted revenge and so she plunged Adlersbrunn into an eternal night;

Now initially four more heroes were called to aid, The Countess, The Viking, The Monk and The Swordsman. However, they were not enough as several other heroes ended up joining the fray. The Will-o'-the-wisp, The Outlaw, The Shield-maiden, The Renegade, along with the return of The Gunslinger and The Solider.

Eventually The Witch and her minions were defeated again and peace was restored.

Until Wrath of the Bride.

The Bride attacks Adlersbrunn and kidnaps the king, the only people to stop her? The Sleuth, The Outlaw, The Fortune-Teller and The Butcher.

Now I can't actually explain much about the story of The Bride without getting into theory territory and that's for another post.

After defeating The Brides allies and eventually The Bride herself, Adlersbrunn is once again at peace.

....But for how long?

[nerogurl]

omg hi !! i don't usually do these kinds of things but fear & hunger is like the only thing i think about anymore and im suuuuper curious to know my results (and to see of it matches who i want it to be >:])

i am! 18 yrs old, transmasc, and bisexual. i'm average height & about mid-sized, with short-mid length dyed hair (it's orange-blonde ish atm but that's subject to change). freckles, tooth-gap, lots of moles, bit of a mustache going on, etc—i think the coolest thing about me is my eyes. they can look anywhere from grey-green-blue depending on the day, but i actually have central heterchromia as well! so, that's cool!

personality wise (the actual meat of this ask, lmao), i've been told i can be intense. but personally i just like to think i take no shit! i'm the kind of person where you get the kind of energy that you give, and i don't have much patience when it comes to others being immature or clueless. does this make me come off as short tempered sometimes? maybe. kind of. yes. but i promise i'm not always that angry! around people i get along with i like to think that i chill way back. when it comes to life overall im more the "it is what it is, nothing really matters so why not have fun?" type. my biggest personal philosophy is that as long as your not hurting yourself or anyone else, you should be allowed to do whatever you want forever. life is too short to not be a freak and shameless about it.

other than that, let's seeeeee. i think im pretty intelligent! i definitely value it in other people, at least. i enjoy things like analysis, discussion, and debate, especially when i get to go on long tangents and rambles. and i like to listen to long tangents and rambles too! i love to hear people be passionate about their interests. a lot of my past relationships have just been going back and forth with big rants on whatever is interesting us that week or something that annoyed us that day.

that being said! i'm also someone who runs outta energy quick. it's not unusually for people to not hear from me for a while, i like my privacy and i like my quiet. and i definitely like it when people respect that, i don't bode well when people get clingy. though, i do a lot better keeping in touch with people i can see face to face, versus anything long distance (i CANNOT do long distance at all im far too forgetful for it).

ummm yeah! ill end it there. not to sound egotistical but writing about myself is fun i should do it more often. ty!!

Reading your description immediately checked all the boxes for a perfect match with Marina! Where do I start? She cannot handle clingyness either. It might be an extreme example considering Samarie is a literal stalker, but when Samarie reveals her feelings, Marine engages as minimally as possible. She's very much done with putting up with people's shit and just wants to move on with her life. Much like with her father, she describes as always angry and obsessed with being miserable, she wants nothing to do with him.

In her B ending, we see that she moves to the big city to find people sharing the same attitudes as you two; to find acceptance and live a carefree life. Where you can experience all the excitement of the city is to be had together. That's not to say she's a party animal, far from it, just a free spirit. The city is the forefront of new ideas; art, science, politics. Go to exhibitions and community dinners together. With the world constantly changing around you you'll never run out of things to talk about.

Marina has a heavy emphasis on alone time that comes naturally from being an academic and a big reader. In Prehevil, we can find her reading in the local bookshop on Day 2, where she's not interested in joining the party. She needs time to shut out the outside world to recharge. A common method of escapism for her, she welcomes you to join her. Imagine if you had the option to accept her offer. You can recharge while bonding through quality time. If you believe reading in the same room counts as doing something together, sometimes just enjoying each other's presence can be enough. 

For the gentleman of this matchup I've chosen Cahara! Cahara might not be very 'book smart' but he is a very clever and charismatic man. Part of living in poverty is having to learn how to entertain yourself with limited resources. As a conversationalist, you describe wanting not just to discuss particular academic topics but whatever is relevant to each other's lives. He'll tell you stories of his grand adventures (mildly exaggerated); treasure hunts, daring tales of thievery, survival and his adventures raiding under a band of criminals. 

Being an endless soul, he shares the same philosophy as you; as long as you're not hurting anyone life is too short to not do whatever you want (minus the harm, but he's working on it). Cahara is the last person to compromise his life to conform. He knows that Celeste is a prostitute and the baby probably isn't his, but he doesn't care, and loves her all the same. An unconventional relationship type, it should be expected to be open like the one he shares with Celeste.

He'll need someone to be accepting towards his lifestyle and preferences. And if anyone is to be described as 'shameless and freaky', it's Cahara. Him being the only one willing to marry Enki and states that he's open to hooking up with an abdominal marriage (not a decision based just on survival but on his own lenient experimentation). 

I know he comes off as flakey but he's extremely loyal. Willing to do anything for his loved ones, traversing through the horrors of the dungeons to keep Celeste and her unborn baby well feed and happy forever. There's no world where he abandons her. Celeste either passes away during childbirth or you all join together as a throuple. 

I agree with what you said about your central heterochromia. You're right, that is very cool! That's what draws him to you at first. No matter how guarded he is around strangers, Cahara is a naturally curious person. He finds your appearance spurring a lot of questions. He wants to know who you are and everything about you to help fit the gaps in his imagination. Telling stories to their child, he's going to cast you the role of the pirate with wild sunset hair and ocean eyes. 

Tdlr; Marina and Cahara, but overall I think Marina is your best match.