#and I see them as different categories
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#fuck I want to destroy my life#i’m sad and I hate a lot of things about myself#and i’m fighting with my boyfriend#and he doesn’t think I want to hang out with him genuinely#he feels that I only hang out with him because I don’t want him to be upset but that I don’t actually want to be with him#which!! fuck I feel like i’m losing my mind by trying to talk to him when he’s gotten like he’s gotten the past week#and he won’t talk to me about anything#and he’s clearly sad#and he’s clearly hurt#and I don’t know how to fix it!!!#but maybe it’ll be fixed#he said that who he had been calling his best friend#that he actually was much closer to me than him#and I have a really close relationship with mj my best friend#and I love her a lot#and i’ve not been making the comparison#because he’s my bf and she’s my best friend#and I see them as different categories#at least I was doing it for sure because I don’t want to have to compare the#m#because I really love them both#and does it make sense to say that i’m closer to MJ than to andrew#I DONT KNOW I love them both#and I joke about being gay but I dont like mj romantically#I kinda hate myself#and I hate my body and I hate that I gained 5 pounds over the past three weeks#anyway#more to say but out of energy#teenage angst#please block this tag if you don’t want more of my poopy emotions
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debate
(topic: how many and what configuration of kids do they give off vibes of having (either at present or in the future)(partner is irrelevant in most cases, some could be single parents for all i care))
#the blue tier should be 'two or more' my bad#all tiers make no difference between adopted and biological kids with the obvious exception of the ones exclusively abt adopted kids#basically all of the tiers above could be adopted too it doesn't matter#the ones in the young category don't necesarily all give off vibes of having no kids#more that i can't picture it but it's not bc of personality. it literally is just bc they look too young#like obv most characters on the younger side outside of that tier are under the assumption that the kid appears in the future#but the young tier is just i am incapable of deciding bc i can't look at their face and my perceived age of them and reach a decision#hu tao is the exception i just cannot see her having kids#this is also assuming they'd all be decent parents. doesn't mean those in the no kids tier are there bc they'd be bad parents tho#heizou lovers feel free to give your hc i just don't know who your man is lmao#yall get done so dirty by the game#like tbh i'd put him in the no kids tier but i am aware i know very little of him so. erring on the side of caution here#honestly alhaitham could be in the one girl category also now that i think about it. nb kid for that man specifically#there are some characters y'all won't be able to convince me otherwise but like. i'm curious anyway#the parentheses are the reasoning for the choice not necesarily their actual kid obviously#the natlan gang is up in the air. kinda confident abt the mualani choice but kinich? not so much#realistically i could see plenty of them not having any kids but decided to keep the no kids tier as empty as possible in the interest of#y'know actually thinking about it. the ones there are bc i simply couldn't see it. ganyu and sethos are on thin ice tho
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ok so there's murder time trio where theyre best buddies and get along and sometimes even having more than just platonic interactions. and then there's also the murder time trio where they genuinely just don't like each other and avoid each other and do NOT get along and to me there's just a VERY clear timeline of events that could connect these two group dynamics. like these 2 could coexist,,,,,,
nightmare's fresh outta his little corruption sequence and he needs his henchmen. goes out and gathers the obvious three killer horror and dust (does it really matter how he got them??? kidnapping or not the trio will warm up to him). its his first time having to deal with mentally unstable grown up mortal men and he really has no idea how to manage the team so he lets them have some slack. spoils em a bit yk yk stops fights allows them to hang out allows em to screw around the castle even COMFORTS them,,,, shocking i know (a slightly nice nightmare interpretation from triglycercule? UNFATHOMABLE!!!!)
this killer's fresh outta something new so he's still kinda curious and nosy. he hasnt seen the multiverse and especially not interacted with nightmare/horrordust so he's kinda more outgoing and friendly (ish. to get to know better everyone and satisfy the curiosity of seeing what reactions and feelings these fellas could give him.) bc killer's not that much of a prick and horror and dust would naturally SLIGHTLY get along (and if in the right environment be good buddies. which is nm's lenience and killer's not shittiness) the mtt actually get along pretty well and are good buds!! like the first group dynamic i mentioned where the bad sanses are just kinda like a friend group except they have some weird work relations
and then a fight breaks out and nightmare kills either dust or horror (what about??? anything!) likely dust first because he's more likely to be wary of nm (if kidnapped) and also because he's just kinda more actively righteous compared to horror (who likely wouldn't do much against nm) or killer (does not give a shit.) dust dies, horror likely dies defending dust and that just leaves the og killer and nightmare
nightmare is like "oh shit i just killed my workers". he'll take like a week to ponder what he did and then completely move on (because hes an ass like that.) nightmare gets another horror and dust to replace the ones he killed. and killer is just like wtf how do i deal with this. the guys i were kinda friends were are dead but their copies are right here. like he knew copies existed in the utmv but he didn't think nightmare was so willing to replace them so fast???
this killer's still adapting to the multiverse and stuff (it probably hasn't even been a year since he got snatched up!!!) and yeah hes aware that copies exist and he could get replaced by one but he didn't think that it would LITERALLY HAPPEN RIGHT BEFORE HIS EYES. so he decides to stick more around nm and avoid getting replaced like the og dust and horror because it really just hammers in the point that he's kinda useless if he speaks out like those 2. hes avoidant of the new replacements as well bc hes still new to this experience and is getting used to the whole implications of two guys that were once him and he was friends with died and got replaced by basically the same person
but they still have to work together for obvious reasons. and even if killer's avoiding horror and dust they probably aren't avoiding each other and probably are like wary friends/acquaintances. and naturally killer HAS to become okay worker buddy pals with them because hes stuck living with them. nightmare's a lot stricter and cold to avoid something like dust's rebellion against him happening again. mtt are wary of each other (mostly towards killer. horrordust are pals and killer's kinda growing more apathetic to the duo because he's already experienced a lot of the stuff before with the og two that died.) but theyre still "friends" you could say
and then perchance maybe horror and dust decide to let killer in on a lil secret theyve been cooking up. theyre planning to escape (kidnapped DUH. and nm isn't as nice as he was to og horrordust to warrent them to wanna stay) and even though they don't really trust killer theyre still letting him in on the plan and offer for him to come with them because they lowkey feel bad for him and he's really not all that bad under all the bullshit
but killer saw what happened to the og dust and horror so he says no. and the night that the duo are planning to escape he just has this overwhelming sense of dread. the next morning he wakes up to nightmare standing over his bed with a cold glare telling him of horror and dust's attempted escape and death and killer just kinda. sighs. his dread was right (he was lowkey hoping that they could escape so they didn't die like the original 2)
and then the cycle repeats. previous dust or horror or both die to nightmare or some random outside force or escape (because it has to happen eventually right??) and the pair keep getting replaced. killer keeps witnessing their deaths and replacements and at this point he's just so used to it that he doesn't even TRY to interact with the new horrors and dusts. theyre not even like real people that are getting killed and replaced like robots to him anymore they're just distant coworkers that get fired and then a new one comes to take up the position
each new dust or horror is icked out by nightmare and killer. nightmare is incredibly cold and intimidating and dictatorial and just sucks in general. and killer gives them this distant look. like he knows something they dont. he's already proven to them that he knows that they should obey nightmare and how to deal with the king and they know he's been here longer than them but even when he's not with nightmare or not talking about him they get the blank stare
sometimes when a nicer replacement of horror decides to do something nice for killer like make him a meal he just gives him that look and declines (there's already been countless different horrors that tried doing nice stuff for him. it's not new and nice in his eyes anymore.) maybe when a dust replacement gets irked by killer's apathy and decides to try and say something that'll bother him or snoop through his personal stuff killer will just walk away or kick him out of his room with that creepy ass blank stare again (it's not the first time a dust has tried to rile him up. it's not new or interesting and just predictable)
killer just doesn't CARE about the new horrors and dusts. they're all pretty much the same two guy except maybe a bit nicer or meaner or quieter or even taller or something?? all he really cares about is is serving nightmares atp, no other outside relationships. and ngl he doesn't even care that much about nightmare either. he's already figured out his thinking he's already figured out all of his likes and dislikes and what not to do to piss him off. the only reason he's still dealing with him is because he doesn't have anything else better to do and he doesn't wanna be useless to the one guy that he's served all this time
he's just kinda stuck in an empty boring limbo that killer's only maintaining due to a lack of motivation and any other priorities. and personally i just think this bad sans dynamic is lowkey tragic because like killer keeps witnessing all these guys that he used to be friends or enemies or rivals or whatever with and they just keep dying or leaving him behind. not one ever stays for THAT long (because no wayyyy a dust or horror would take being under a cruel nightmare well) and it's given him this idea that none of these people matter (aside from the important one which is nm) because they're just gonna leave me and the connections ill have formed with them will be for nothing so why even try being vulnerable and friendly and interacting with these cheap copies of the guys i USED to be friends with
#nobody asked for this but i wanted to think of this#i don't know why i always have this idea that just because nobody asked for it doesn't mean nobody wants it. I WANTED TO WRITE THIS!!!!!#see this would work better if it were a fanfic and not a cheap tumblr post about this vague idea#i just wrote this because i really like the image of a blank eyed knowing looking killer#like he KNOWS something about dust and horror that they don't. and it bothers them severely#WHAT DOES HE KNOW??? their death or leaving is what#you ever think that killer has this crazy good sense of being able to predict the future#like he's just gotten so used to things that he just knows their next move#he would be crazy good at reading people and figuring out their behaviors#psycho analyze these guys until he could ACT like them. because what else does he have better to do when so bored and apathetic :3#this (may or may not be) is inspired by a song. i was imagining a dust and horror who kept trying to leave nm and failing miserably#and each time killer would tell their story of how they died or how the previous 2 died#he's like a little time capsule. he stores the experiences and memories of each copy of horror and dust to never tell anyone#because who else would be hell??? the MIRROR??? NIGHTMARE??? lmao no#would this make killer much older than the horrors and dusts that get replaced. maybe i think that would be cool#he lies about how old he is to the other two because if he didn't then they would act differently and not like how he predicts#and anything new and unexpected is kinda scary to killer#ok i think that's enough elaborating in tags. time to actually TAG#killer sans#dust sans#horror sans#murder time trio#nightmare sans#bad sanses#bad sans gang#nightmare's gang#what tricule tag category does this go in hmmmm hmmmm#this COULD be a hc and BOTH an analysis. but which one...............#i guess analysis because there's not really anything outrageously ooc in this one#tricule analyze
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people are hating on the new wild card?? personally this has been my favourite session yet. I think the haters are a loud minority and at least for me, even if im not a fan of a gimmick or season theres still enjoyment to be found. remember nobody owes you anything and the life series is a group of friends having fun <3
#my post#and if you don’t like something guess what! you don’t have to interact with it!! you curate your experience!!!#I 100% agree the life series has changed. 3rd-Double Life is what I see as the core or the canon and it’s something that still inspires me#but the new seasons are still fun and enjoyable to watch even if they’re not in the same category#I think the thing that makes the life series what it’s known for now is the fact it was experimental. Nobody knew what to expect#and that’s what made it tragic and emotional and raw#but realistically you can’t keep that up forever because people have learned and will continue to learn#So it’s something different now. But that’s exciting more than anything#anyways rant over just wanted to share my thoughts :}#ur feelings are valid and respectable but maybe think twice about how they will affect others before posting them online
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okay i meant to make this post forever ago but my personal opinion on why so many people were so dissatisfied with lightfalll (disclaimer: i am not one of these people, i love lightfall SO much), is that lightfall was kind of subjected to a really aggressive marketing campaign.
like, stick with me here, i feel like almost all the lightfall release content (the trailers especially) were so focused on battling the witness, how this battle has been centuries in the making and this is the Second Collapse Finally Finding Us, only for there to be,,, no real resolution. the end was left on such a severe cliffhanger, but not only that, there was NO battle with the witness. the witness didn't even seem to be having a hard time at all with what we WERE throwing at it.
and for narrative reasons *i* am obsessed with this ending; in terms of storytelling i adore practically every creative decision that was made in lightfall, but i think the reason that so many people were so upset about it is because lightfall had such intense marketing and was rooted in the implication that this was the End of Days, only for us to get almost no closure, and instead so many more questions.
(there's also something to be said, i think, about the fact that the people who ARE most upset about this are like, the youtube gamer dudebros who's content is very very often rooted in the aggressive, violence-and-warfare, pvp-centric, no-interest-in-lore approach to destiny, and that the people i've seen primarily ENJOYING the narrative decisions (or at least being understanding about it) are the artists and writers and loremasters of the fandom, but i'm not quite sure,,, how to expand on that point.)
#like. something something yt dudebros who are like 'uhhh destiny is about violence and war and the lore is only for people who suck at pvp#and destiny is a shitty evil game i hate it sooooo much hashtag 26871435 hours recorded gameplay' asshats#being the ones complaining MOST about the narrative in. a narrative driven game. and refusing to engage with ANY lore in a LORE HEAVY GAME#vs. the community on here thats full of artists and writers and people who actually like to analyze the story and characters#and engage with the lore and have any emotional attachment at all to the characters and world and themes#being the ones who are like. appreciative of the narrative decisions made and looking forward to where the story will take us and#looking at the game with LOVE instead of hatred and malice#and even if you didn't like lightfall!!! people in the latter category are still the people who i keep seeing be like#'yeah even if i didn't personally like it i can understand the significance of this narrative decision.'#'i acknowledge that bungie put so much time and effort and passion into making this even if it wasnt satisfying to me personally.'#'i have the critical thinking skills to understand that bungie is not a sentient malicious entity trying to ruin my life; me; specifically'#like. do you get what im saying. gamer dudebros who think the world revolves around them vs the fandom members who actually understand art#bc. thats what destiny is. its art. the whole thing is a massive art project made by a group of people that are very passionate about it.#do you hear what im saying at ALL its like two separate fandoms for the same piece of media the difference is so stark#mine#destiny 2#lightfall#destiny 2 lightfall#eos destiny essays
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Fuck I hate being an adult. I need a more adult adult to help with the volatile emotional situation.
#I've sort of made a new friend? Like we met at the same art group and he's also trans which was like pleasantly surprising in our small town#but like. We have Differences Of Opinion#and it's not totally his fault because it sounds like he's had a Lot of bad shit in his past that's obviously made him wary and closed off#but like. He's slightly older than me (only 4 years) and keeps blaming a load of his problems on other trans folks?#like you know the type. The like 'all these nonbinary/other identities the kids are doing are complicating shit'#the 'it hurts to see people younger than me inc. kids get hormones thrown at them when I still can't get 'em' (which... yeah not even true)#and he's told me himself he doesn't engage much with the queer community bc it's too 'toxic'#and like. I can absolutely understand why he could've had some bad experiences esp. since he has some mental health shit going on#but he wants to be friends bc he doesn't know anyone else going through the medical shit and it's like. Yeah no shit you don't?#you decided the community you'd find them in is toxic? and that people in them are doing being trans wrong?#and I think if he was just some guy online I'd like roll my eyes and ignore him#but he's a real person in my vicinity and I feel fucking bad for him#and I can see how much self loathing he has and how much that probably informs the bullshit#like he told me he thinks that trans men and cis men are fundamentally different categories and trans men will never be cis men#but not in a 'the experiences are just different and come with different perspectives way'#in like a self defeating way. Like a I just have to settle for being a trans man way.#and it made me SO SAD#like bro#I'm so sorry for whoever the fuck made you feel like you're fighting an unwinnable battle#and I want to be a friend to him. I want him to feel like there's other queer people out there and there's friends and hope#but also I genuinely could see him being the kind of person who would get really angry at you for no fault of your own#like I already get the distinct feeling he resents me a little#like obviously not too much since he still wants to hang#but he's been trying and failing to get HRT for years and I got it super quickly basically by sheer luck/a doctor who looks out for me#like I'm so fucking lucky. And I just genuinely feel like he's the kind of person who might take that personally.#I just do not think I have the fucking. Emotional tool kit to salvage this shit#But I also can't exactly text him and say sorry I don't think we should hang out so. What do.#.....I wasn't even LOOKING for a new friend! I have enough friends!!! I wanted to make clay faces and look at pretty buildings dammit!!!#now I have to be the emotionally mature one who goes hmmm maybe let's not blame other depressed trans kids for our problems buddy#I'm just gonna have to be like. Upfront about my stance and if he doesn't like it well he doesn't have to hang out with me
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Every day I am haunted by the fact JJK could be amazing but it will be just idk Bleach or something
#I've seen a lot of people complaining about the fact that it's impossible to fit the ending of every unfinished arc#in the five chapters that remain for the manga to end for good#And it all just... legitimises my fear and apprehension haha#And it's a pity! It's a pity! The dynamics were so good! And yet nothing! Sukuna was so good! And yet nothing!#It was so nice how he seemed to play with the idea of transcending human categories and values but even the values of curses so to speak#Well beyond everything. Well beyond positive/creative nihilism even! He was not like Mahito#I wonder if Mahito is more a negative nihilism with a funny edge or a positive nihilism. For now it seems positive#with how he seems to have said something like 'nothing matters so we can do whatever we want and create what matters'#But Sukuna transcends all that! It could have been interesting to see how that developed in a way that wasn't just childish edginess#But no. And then there's all the idea of curses and sorcerers not being all that different#and so not really entirely possible to say one side is good and the other bad#There was the idea of the very source of powers with fear and love playing a role here in such a juicy way#And then there's the entire thing happening with Gojo as a concept and the very concepts he plays with which I could eat like an apple#but also I would let those very concepts eat at my heart as a worm inside an apple#Full of holes and rotting inside out and yet delighting at the sweetness#It could all be so good! And yet! Most of the manga is a few sketched dynamics and concepts and a very long fight with Sukuna#promising half finished arcs#WHY it could have been so good. And I don't think criticism is a matter of 'fans being spoiled! Go write your story!' or something#It's not a matter of things not going as fans would want them to be. It's a matter of not writing well#or cohesively things established by the author themselves. And I think that's a fair criticism#If we are to take manga as an art‚ which I wholeheartedly support‚#then we can subject mangas to artistic or literary or whatever you want to call it analysis. There are works that are better constructed#than others‚ and there are works that have good ideas but poor execution. And it's always a pity#In the case of JJK it's truly breaking my heart and the comments I see around about these five last chapters are not helping xD#God it could be so good. So good. And I'm not talking about in specific to me‚ which yes that too given the topics‚#but just so good in general. It could be so good. It could have been so good#And yet it's starting to look more and more like any other shonen. It truly breaks my heart haha#I talk too much#Jujutsu Kaisen#I used Bleach because I think that's one of the mangas that has been the most a let down to the friends I have who like shonen
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i like statistics so I think it would be really interesting to make a google forms survey asking people to rate the utdr + uty characters from 1-5 and share it across a bunch of social media sites. and the survey would have a question like "which social media did you find this survey from?" or "which social media do you frequent the most?" to see how the results differ. I have the impression that Martlet and Ceroba would be really popular with people from reddit while Starlo would be a lot more popular with people from tumblr/twitter.
#something im also curious about is if flowey showed up twice (for vanilla ut / uty) would he have any significant difference in his rating#this turned out to be more focused on uty but it would also be interesting to see any common patterns#like maybe most people who gave sans 5 also gave papyrus 5. or people who gave martlet 5 gave flowey 1 lol#additionally I would like to include separate categories for flowey and asriel to see how perceptions of them differ#i get the feeling that people who gave flowey a high rating are also likely to rate asriel highly but not so much the other way around
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What your opnion on child medic, or fem medic?
well i was both a child and a young woman at one point, and i cant say i was a fan of either!
#im glad that im not either of them anymore so. i suppose my opinion is 'i dont like them'#but this also falls into the asking me about fan content category which..#is a whole entirely different can of worms#i will say that at least some people get creative with the designs and i do enjoy seeing nice art#regardless of the subject matter#....usually#the doc is in
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hmm thinking about the idea of love songs. i think the idea of what a love song is that we have in our culture is inherently a little bit flawed because we have the idea that any song written about romantic feelings is a love song and im thinking thats not exactly true because there is a difference between "romance" and "love". what i'm saying is not that love is a broader category and applies to things that are not romantic in nature. this is in fact true, but it's not what makes the important distinction here. the true distinction between "romance" and "love" is that romance is a societally defined type of interest in another person, whereas love is, essentially, a promise that you make when you build a relationship.
as such, what i call "love" here might be better defined as "care", as that implies more time and effort, but that's a different suitcase to unpack and largely unimportant to my point here, which is more about the societal conventions of what we call love songs. the point is, relationships can be built with other people, yes, but also animals, places, organizations, ideas, so on and so on, whereas romance requires another person, hence the difference between the ideas of "romance" and "love".
with that in mind, there are two types of songs we in western, english speaking, society call "love songs":
1) songs that are about a person's romantic interest in someone that is either definitively known to be unrequited (existing monogamous relationship, sexuality that doesn't align, etc) or simply not requited (aka romantic interest being unknown); and
2) songs about an existing relationship (keeping in mind my points about relationships not just being with people, but also places, things, etcetera) as is.
(some examples of the latter category: mountaintop by relient k, which defines the relationship in question as non-romantic; or i miss my mum by cavetown, which is - as the title implies - a song about the singer missing their mother.)
now, the thing that makes distinguishing these two difficult is the fact that songs about an existing relationship CAN be about wanting certain aspects of that relationship to change. in these cases, determining that a song is one or the other will hinge either on a) authorial intent or b) whether the song is more about what the singer wants (thereby implying #1) or the lack thereof in that relationship (which would imply #2).
to get back to the subject at hand: the term "love song", as we think of it, is an umbrella term that include both of these two categories, and i think that perhaps it is reductive to do so. with that in mind, i think perhaps it would be more appropriate for "love song" to mean only the latter, whereas the former is a category of its own. WHICH is not to say that the two can't overlap — just that if a song is about a person with whom the singer has no relationship, it cannot be considered a love song due to the fact that it is a song about infatuation, not love.
(another interesting wrinkle this provides is the fact that a song might start out in the first category and, as the writer develops a relationship with a person, might move into the second category as they write more.)
#anyway. just some of my thoughts on this as an aromantic songwriter#ari opinion hour#this goes a good deal to reconcile my constant writing of love songs with the fact that none of them are romantic#which im fine with as long as im keeping them to myself but it DOES feel dishonest when i hide that theyre love songs.#however this did also go some way to convince me that maybe care songs is an alternative that i SHOULD use because it is more applicable to#me than the concept of love which MOST people do not have the same perspective on as i do and having different definitions of the same word#is an important barrier to consider in communication#i will admit i do think im clinging to my care songs being love songs due to my relationship with an organization to which love is very#important as i dont want to go back on my promises to that organization as it IS very important to me#anyway. can you tell ive been reading house of leaves by the fact that this appeared fully fledged in my head in fully academic language#but for real like thinking about it now and even my old love songs like most would probably think to see them that they would go in the#first category and they just. DO NOT. at least not the ones that were written after i was like Yeah im aro again#its interesting the ones i wrote in the brief period where i thought i WASNT aro in like mid hs those i WOULD put in the first category#even though like i do NOT think i was right about it being romantic#but the ones after i was like Yea im aro again are like. Thats definitely the latter#part of it is i did find a voice that was like genuinely Mine and wasnt just writing sort of generic love songs#love songs in the typical usage i mean so they were really more infatuation songs#but like i was still with the last person irl who i wrote these about divorced from like... my aroness because of how much i liked him#and i would still put those in the second category#so part of it is awareness as well#so. yeah. its interesting#i probably should just suck it up and start calling them care songs. even if people dont know what i mean to say that
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I find it funny that half our iNat IDs are stuff like us going "you can tell from the lack of checkering on the wing fringe that this is actually P. icarus, not P. bellargus" while the other half are us going through unknown observations and going "well that sure is a plant. hopefully someone who knows plants will see it after I add this ID"
#personal#thoughts#🍬 post#inaturalist#there are thousands of unknowns on there and I think most are just from people not knowing how to use the site#because sometimes they'll put ''this is [species]'' or ''is this [species] or [other species]?'' in the notes/description section#but not add an actual ID so it's not searchable and therefore nobody confirms it because it's just in the huge unknown pile#so we've kind of made it a hobby to go through those and at least put them in broad categories so other people see them#but god it must be confusing/frustrating for the people posting them to get an ID that's just ''plant'' or ''fungus'' or whatever#like sorry my dude I know this doesn't look helpful but I'm trying to make sure your stuff actually gets seen by anyone#also going through the unknowns means seeing wildlife photos from around the world which is fun#and then once people ID them we get to find out about a bunch of species from different places
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i think one of the biggest most egregiously contradicting shit religion wise ive seen is big ass (christrian esque) churches actively putting up wards against homeless people. bro i thought your whole thing was helping the needy what the hell is this
#i am well aware of how much this all fragments into various different other sub categories protestant lutheran whatever yadda yadda ya#but still. i was of the opinion that like. all of them were geared towards helping the needy/homeless#granted these ppl loove contradicting themselves but still#it just tells me oh you really dont give a fuck huh. this is about money or status#it was smthn i could respect abt christian faiths. at least there was some attempt to help others for the sake of it#not even for missionary work but just for Doing it#one of the few things i actually enjoyed doing when forced to go to my fathers church w him was help build houses#it was likely missionary work but still. i think the houses were given regardless of faith#i enjoyed doing that it felt like i was actually helping#so it just makes me even more bitter and pissed off when i see churches with these massive gates and#bars against entry and a homeless person sleeping outside of it#granted the one i saw doing this recentlh was mormon so. lmfao#what did i expect. but the irony still pissed me off#SORRY FOR THE BIG RANT IM JUST THINKING ABT IT...#if your faith actively bars against homeless people it is not one i have any interest going near is all ill say#skeletal chatter#religion cw
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Me when I think my dad is cool and admirable
#the previous earl lost the game lol#like i think if ciel's dad came back from the dead instead of ciel prime that ciel would have the same im the earl reaction#i don't have a reading of this narrative at all that he's trying to be his dad or wants sebastian to be his dad bc number one i think...#...vincent only looks like sebastian bc that's yana's art style and number two it also gets on my nerves the really fandom-y brain to...#...assign found family into actual nuclear family roles. when ciel's whole house now is made up of relationships that are really only...#...defined by how much they all love each other. it's the opposite of what his life was like before where he was stuck in like. an older...#...brother does this and marries this and the watchdog does this and rich people are expected to be like this and a family is a nuclear...#...kind of family unit and that's honestly what caused madam red and ciel and ciel prime a lot of their problems pre fire#now instead the people in ciel's house care about their roles as maid and gardener and chef etc only insofar as playing that role is a...#...way to have freedom for them and it's a way to do things for ciel only bc they love him. not that vincent and rachel completely sucked...#...and didn't love their kids but it was the opposite of ciel's situation now and uh i don't think he wants it back or to recreate it#i think he sees his parents and the midfords as sheep just like of the rest of the rich people he complains about#it's a category 10 albert moriarty situation#he was raised in it so he understands just how destructive these expectations are madam red had the exact problems with the expectation...#...she should get married and have kids when i don't think she particularly wanted that to the point she had to convince herself she did...#...even though it felt unnatural to her and i think that's why she was so attached to the idea of vincent but anyway comphet madam red...#...different post i have already made somewhere probably#it's the same deal for ciel i think he thinks the way the rich people govern their lives is stupid and sebastian has both spoiled him and...#...made him feel like he's above all that and honestly that mindset genuinely informs a lot of this arc and the sheep motif#kuroshitsuji#my kuro posts#ciel
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My shipping guide for the Batfam fandom because some of these ships are getting out of hand
(This post goes out to the person who told me they legitimately didn’t know Tim and Jason were brothers and thought they were a canon couple🤢)
Acceptable/non-incest/legal ships:
Tim and Stephanie, Barbara and Dick, Bruce and Selena, Bruce and Talia, Basically Any Pairing That Is Not Adopted Relative/Adopted Relative or Child/Not Child Is Ok It's Not Rocket Science, Dick and Kori
Incest/Batcest ships:
Jason and Tim, Dick and Jason, Tim and Damian, Jason and Cass, Dick and Cass, Tim and Cass, Bruce and any of his children that is their FATHER, Bruce and Alfred, Bruce and Kate, Mari and Damian
Ships that should be illegal/personally give me the ick:
Barbara and Bruce, Jason and Barbara, Tim and Barbara, Duke and Cass, Jason and Talia
Ships that are a whole ass felony:
Dick and Damian, Damian and Stephanie, Honestly Damian and Most People He's a Child, Bruce and Stephanie
#I regret to inform you every ship I just listed is real#there are other acceptable ships but I just included my personal favorites because listing them all would be too much#I put Steph in felony because I have no idea how old she is now#ik she’s the same as Tim and the never age him up so idk#this is my opinion#you may have a different opinion#just scroll if you do#live your life#Jason and Stephanie also give me the ick in a big way but I didn't put them because other than it being Tim's ex its not really problematic#Personally I see Jason and Steph in sibling vibes but since they're NOT people can ship what they like#Ik Kori is technically not BatFam but I put Mari so#This is gonna upset some people#i can already feel it#Tim and babs is also debatable in terms of problematic (depending on the version) but I hate it with a burning passion so it made the list#I don’t like Dukecass but not because I think it’s incest#But because Duke is like 16/17 and Cass is like 21#most the time anyway#I don’t like that#I only included ships I’ve actually heard of#Duke is never officially adopted which is why I didn’t include him in the incest category#It is suggested he is fostered by Bruce though so you can interpret that how you will#There’s also a ton of acceptable ships outside the bat community but again#Would be too much#If I forgot an incest ship#Just imagine it’s there#I probably just haven’t heard of it#Almost forgot Mari and Damian#But THAT IS HIS NIECE#idc what anyone says i will die on this hill#Mari’s not a part of main canon but that ship has bothered me for years
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Man.
#it's the else day of my tmbg album a day challenge which plunged me right back into my previous the else fixation state of mind#the grip this album had on me for the first few months of 2023 is truly something#but goddamn even now i'm just still shocked by how good this album is!!!!!!#and to think that it's often put in the category of their 00s 'slump' period (meanwhile i absolutely love the other 00s albums#and find them just as fun and interesting and clever etc as anything else but thats a whole different topic)#and even speaking less from personal preference towards this type of music and more generally#it's got to be one of their most sonically consistent albums. and maybe the fact#that some songs might be considered a bit less distinctly theirs you know. but more like just your regular rock songs. maybe. more 'normal'.#could be its weakness that i don't really see *as* a weakness here. i think a big part of the draw of this album for me#is how it has this completely separate identity from their other albums (even just other 21st century stuff)#it's 'edgier' but not really dark. ofc there's also the political side of it that weights on the mood of the whole thing#but all the while it has this sort of whimsical atmosphere that makes it even sort of fairytaleish in a way#but maybe with a dark twist? BUT ofc still doing it all in the tmbg way. so it's very unique!!!! and also absolutely awesome and rocking!!!#petition for the band to bring withered hope back into their live repertoire. or anything besides the mesopotamians PLEEEEASE!!#it would be so awesome with the horns....#very not completely normal about this album still. awesome#anyway it's midnight currently and i have to get up sort of early so i'm shutting up now#goosepost#Spotify
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unpopular opinion?? maybe?
Matt & Ivy have a really interesting dynamic!! both pre- and post-canon!! with or without romantic undertones!! either reciprocal or one-sided!!
and obviously it has to be handled with a particular level of care/respect BUT I think if we allowed them enough grace there is space to explore a really interesting possibility for that relationship.
#obviously Matt is not ENTITLED to Ivy - im absolutely not saying that at all#and he definitely did a lot of things extremely wrong and Ivy doesn’t HAVE to forgive him - she doesn't even have to *like* him#and in many stagings she actually doesn’t at all! even pre-canon she isn't into him on a *platonic* level - which i love for her#but I also think that - misguided & clumsy about it though he was - Matt is genuinely trying his best to see her as a person.#an idealized version of a person yes. but a person nonetheless.#which is what Ivy wants from Jason (and tbf he sees her as a person also but it’s an obviously different situation)#and while you can't force romantic compatibility (that was like. the whole point.) in some versions of the show they're not-quite-dating#- in varying types of “situationship” with varying levels of commitment. so it's not insane to me to say hey#maybe they need time to stabilize themselves and figure out who they are again after the events of the show. but maybe a couple years -#- down the line they reconnect and they're both in a better place & maybe this time it can all work out.#idk I think I just see a lot of people write it off entirely - and they’re well within their rights to do so don’t get me wrong#but I don’t think it’s fair necessarily to put them in the ‘doomed to fail’ category#wow okay I care about them as a pair more than I realised#tldr; give Matt & Ivy and their relationship dynamic the grace + complexity they deserve#mouse talks bapo#bare a pop opera#Ivy Robinson#Matt Lloyd#[as a side note - sometimes I think about queer Matt & transmasc Ivy & the interesting concept of their potential boyfriendism]
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