#and I mean it is but I never use periods on my notes app so

[patolemus]

In this new part of the series call ‘i took a calculated risk but man am I bad at math’ — aka writing five stages of grief — I’ve scraped the very first scene of the first chapter for the fourth time. I think I finally wrote one I’m happy with tho so kudos to me? Also I dreamt of this really weird thing the other day and I don’t remember it well but I know it had dragons and someone had a dagger at some point so I don’t know if my hotd obsession is becoming a bit too much or if my subconscious is trying to tell me something

Anyways here are the notes app crumbs for the day

It took me a hot minute to remember what I was talking about for that last one, I legit stared at it for a while trying to remember what the fuck I was thinking of last night, but i figured it out eventually

[clarenecessities]

He-man.org will close in 5 days.

He-man.org has been a staple of the Masters of the Universe community since the early days, originating as an email list that worked to document episodes before anything (not footage, not lists, nothing) was available online. It grew into a sprawling, multi-faceted beast of a thing, including an encyclopedia (an in-house wiki), merch lists, a marketplace, forums, anything you could think of.

Several years ago now, the main site went down for updates/maintenance. For a few weeks, we were told, maybe months. The forums remained open for fans to communicate, and barring a period of downtime earlier this year things were going smoothly.

Yesterday, the owner of the site, Val Staples, announced the site would be closed on November 14th, 2023. Six days later. We are currently attempting to contact him, to see if he’s interested in selling, and if he means closed as in “no new posts” or closed as in deleted entirely. Regardless of its eventual fate, the archiving of these forums is essential to preserving the history of the franchise, the fandom, and the brand.

TO SHE-RA (and MotU) FANS SPECIFICALLY: I have personally used these forums to answer questions that could be answered nowhere else. Had I not had access to them, I would never have been able to prove that Purrsia was fake, or found so much unpublished concept art, or discovered that Scott “Toyguru” Neitlich personally wrote Catra’s MOTUC bio (even if he’s put off answering my questions about it for over a year now). Forum members have conducted interviews with the likes of Jon Seisa, Cathy Larson, Janice Varney-Hamlin—essential figures in the very foundations of POP, and those interviews revealed and recorded priceless information for future generations (me! you! us!) to find. Did you know Cathy Larson named Adora? That she originally pushed for “Dorian”, after her own daughter? We cannot let this treasure trove disappear into the ether(ia).

TO THE UNAFFILIATED: Please help. Pretty please. If you’ve ever liked my art or my writing or my haphazard blogging, ever, at all, consider archiving just one board. Just one page. Literally anything helps. I am spiraling into madness & this is my library of Alexandria. The mythical one that was totally unique and persevered nowhere else and was destroyed in a single cataclysmic event. Pretty pretty please help.

HOW TO HELP:

Archive.org has several ways to upload shit but most of them are longer term than “a few days” so we’re focusing on two (which can be run simultaneously): Save Page Now, and browser extensions. From their help page:

1. Save Page Now

Put a URL into the form, press the button, and we save the page. You will instantly have a permanent URL for your page. Please note, this method only saves a single page, not the whole site.

We want to keep outlinks and screenshots wherever possible. The Archive does not keep your IP address, so your submission is anonymous.

2. Browser extensions and add-ons

Install the Wayback Machine Chrome extension in your browser. Go to a page you want to archive, click the icon in your toolbar, and select Save Page Now. We will save the page and give you a permanent URL.

One plus to installing the extension is that as you surf around, when you run into a missing page they will alert you if we have a saved copy.

More extensions, apps, and add-ons:

Firefox add-on

Safari Extension

iOS app

Android app

I strongly encourage you to use these tools even if you aren’t helping with this project/after it ends. Documenting and preserving information is essential in this day and age & The Internet Archive is at the heart of it. Please support them however you can.

I’m serious about paying you, though I may need more communication with folks I don’t know so we can coordinate/verify shit gets done. I think this is a worthwhile pursuit in itself but I recognize your time is valuable & like, people gotta eat. DM me if you’re interested and we’ll talk. I may need to adjust pay depending how many people bite but I’ll do what I can

[izzyy-stuff]

𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐍 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐎𝐍 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐎𝐃 - 𝐎𝐓𝟓

bf!txt x afab!reader

in which the txt members take care of you while you are on your period

wc 250-350 per member, 1.4k in total

warnings menstruation duh, cramps, established relationship, pet names, I try to not state which products are used most of the time but in Taehyun's reader uses pads

↪ izzy speaks... yes, I am on my period writing this and I hate it so I need myself someone like them

CHOI SOOBIN

he always tries to make your pain go away by staying close. You feel like just lying in bed because you're tired or in pain? cuddles. Your cramps are bad? He is your personal heater.

He will ALWAYS make sure you have everything you need

you need another blanket? It's already beside you. Craving your favorite snacks? He bought everything earlier that day.

When you first started dating he was PANICKING

Obviously, he knew menstruation was a thing but he never really needed to care until he got together with you

After the first time you got your period while staying over at his he started asking questions

How bad does it hurt? How often do you get it? What does ovulation have to do with anything?

And then he sat in silence the whole afternoon, just listening to your explanation and taking mental notes

“It's alright, Soobie. I am feeling a lot better now,” you assured him, watching him from the comfort of his bed. “Are you sure though? I can make you a cup of tea? Or maybe we can watch a film together?” He suggested, making you chuckle as you reached your hand to him. Your boyfriend smiled too, holding your hand as he stepped closer. “All I need is for you to lay beside me, yeah?” Soobin nodded, climbing onto the bed. His arms wrapped around your waist, his palm resting on your lower stomach. “I love you,” he whispered against the crouch of your neck, placing soft kisses in the same spot. Your lips curved into a smile again, your hand resting on his. “I love you too, Soob.”

CHOI YEONJUN

he definitely knows your cycle by heart

he even has the same app you use to keep track of your period on his phone so he is prepared

His bathroom is STACKED with all the products you could possibly want to use

even though he knows your preferences, he likes to have other opinions ready in case you ever change your mind and want to use something new

He also has a few pads/tampons in his bag in case you would need any when you two are out

does literally anything you ask him for

He WILL run to the store to get you your favorite ice cream if you run out of the one you had at home

He likes to stay home with you when your period starts. No matter if you two spend the day lying in bed, watching a movie while eating ice cream, or if you want to clean the whole house, whatever it is, he will stay by your side

“I am going to run to the store real quick, I’ll be right back,” Yeonjun smiled as you finished your lunch. “Oh, really?” You looked up at him immediately, and he could swear he saw sparks in your eyes. “Can you get me-” “Some chocolate and fruits? I am on it,” he interrupted you, nodding. “If you need any pills while I am gone they are in the bathroom, yeah?” He reminded you as if you hadn’t been in his bathroom, looking for the same pills many times before. “I know,” you smiled back at him, standing up from the dining table. “Thank you,” you whispered, walking over to him and placing a kiss on his cheek. “For everything.” His smile grew even wider, stealing a kiss from you when you stepped back again, his hand on your hips. “No need, darling.”

CHOI BEOMGYU

He definitely says something like "Well, you know, I could take it away from you for nine months" when your period starts just to tease you

but when he sees you glare at him, lying in your bed in pain, he shuts up immediately

“Okay, I am just going to shut up now and run you a bath, yeah?”

Continuously asks you if you are okay or need anything, to the point it gets annoying

But he simply means the best and just wants to make sure you are doing fine because no matter how much he teases you, he loves you

He always tries to make you laugh and make you think about different things

He always makes sure you have enough water to drink,

Extra: you definitely made him try the period pain simulator just so he could see what you go through every month and after that, he had never even tried to tease you about your period

You sat on a chair in your boyfriend’s bathroom, in your pajamas now, your eyes closed as you finally relaxed. “Are you feeling any better?” Beomgyu asked, drying your hair. “A lot,” you hummed with a nod. “Thank you, Beom.” 

He shook his head, turning the hair dryer in his hands off. “I didn’t do anything,” he disagreed. Sure, he had run you a bath and helped you wash your hair, but every boyfriend did that, right? “I am just glad the shower helped. Do you still want me to give you some painkillers?” You opened your eyes again with a nod, “Yes, please.” He smiled, nodding back. “I'll be right back then.”

KANG TAEHYUN

Man studied for this day

I feel like similarly to Yeonjun, he is always prepared and knows everything he needs in advance

feels no shame in buying you products and doesn't mind doing so every month

surprises you with your favorite food and flowers to bring up your mood

he normally cooks meals for you, but during your period he is extra careful not to miss a single meal, no matter how busy he is

If you are free, he always asks you to visit him at work so you don't have to be home alone

completely understands if you don't want to join him in the gym or do any sports in general during your period

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” you panicked, covering your head in embarrassment. How could you just forget you were supposed to get your period today? The gym was the worst possible place it could show up too. Your panties covered with blood, with no sign of any sanitary products in your local gym’s bathroom wasn't the ideal situation. “Love, are you okay?” You heard your boyfriend’s voice behind the door, your eyes widening. “No,” you admitted. “I got it. Oh god, how could I be so stupid and not notice?” 

“Come on, you are not stupid. I should have some pads in my bag, I’ll be right back, yeah?” You sighed in relief. You had an amazing boyfriend, you reminded yourself once again. 

It didn’t take much longer for him to come back, knocking on your door before he opened them slightly, passing you the pad with his fresh pair of boxers he had for after the gym through the gap. “Thank you,” you mumbled, embarrassed. No matter how many times you had gotten your period, it always somehow felt embarrassing. “No need to thank me. I’ll be waiting outside, we can go home and have your favorite meal, what do you think?”

Before you could answer him, you heard a female scream, kicking your boyfriend out of the bathroom. Right, this was the women’s toilet, you remembered, a chuckle escaping your lips. 

HUENING KAI

Since he has two sisters I hope no one is surprised he KNOWS what to do

He notices every shift in your behavior

every turn you make in your bed, every frown you make from the pain, every change in your eyes. He sees it all and always knows exactly what you need, often before even you do. Before you can register your sudden cravings, he is already bringing you the exact snack you had in mind

he always lets you wear his clothes, but especially when you are on your period

He knows you feel comfortable and calm in his things so once you are on your period he gives you every piece of garment he owns to make you feel exactly that: comfortable and calm

“I wish I could go through it instead, I hate seeing you in pain,” type of guy

Just like Soobin, he always keeps you close, being your personal heater

cuddles, cuddles, and cuddles

“Come here,” Kai encouraged you, moving his gaming chair back so you could sit on his lap more easily. You smiled, walking over to him. You wrapped your arms around his waist as you rested your head on his shoulder, closing your eyes.

He caressed your back while he waited for his game to load, placing kisses on your neck. “Did the painkillers work?” You hummed a quiet “Not yet,” taking a peek at him. “Should I tell Soobin I have to go?” Kai wondered, not bothering to hide the sadness in his voice. You knew he felt sorry for you, but there was not much he could do about your cramps. “It’s fine,” you shook your head. “Keep playing, I am comfortable like this.” Your boyfriend gave your neck one last peck before moving his chair forward again, doing his best to focus on the game on his screen. Still, he couldn’t help it and constantly glanced at you, making sure you were doing okay.

⋆✶ izzy's tags @beomiracles @seoulzie @adel222 @inkigayocamman @flowzel @love-be0m @virgo-and-libra @hwanghyunjinismybae ✶⋆ want to get notified? join taglist here!

[russellsppttemplates]

I have it all right here (Lando Norris)

Matilda Norris makes her way earthside

Note: english is not my first language. It's dad!Lando, so you know I shrieked as soon as I saw this request ✨️

Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated 🤍 and I'm taking requests so if you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to do so as I'll try to get to them the best I can!

my masterlist

Tw: pregnancy, labour/birth, hospitals

Tag list: @myloverjk-blog

"Lando", you called, shaking your husband as he slept peacefully next to you. For the past 24 hours, more than the rest of the pregnancy, he had been by your side since you kept feeling Braxton-Hicks contractions, doting on you as much as he could so you could be a little bit more comfortable.

He held you in his embrace as he whispered sweet things as you cried, feeling all of the emotions as you whispered "I feel like I've been pregnant for decades, Lando! And I can't do anything on my own", you hiccuped as he rubbed your back sweetly, "you're growing our babygirl until she's ready to come and meet us, that's not nothing, my love", he would soothe, kissing your head multiple times as the pressure on your lower belly increased.

"Are you having Braxton-Hicks again?", he mumbled groggily, rolling over to face you after turning his bedside lamp on.

"I think these are real contractions, like, the ones I actually have when I'm in labour", you smiled.

"How are you feeling? Do they hurt a lot?", he wondered. It was amazing how his brain could switch on like that, going from sleepy to fully aware in seconds.

"It feels like really bad period cramps, but they're definitely worse than what I've felt these past couple of days", you reasoned, cuddling into his open arms, "you know this means we're that little bit closer to meeting her, right?", you tried to shift his attention, failing miserably as he grabbed his phone, "we should track them, so we know when to go to the hospital", he opened the app and propped the phone by your face so you could tap the screen.

"I'm good, love", you tranquilized, touching his temple lovingly, "I'm actually excited! We're going to meet our babygirl soon!".

Sure, there had been moments where you didn't feel amazing, morning sickness that lasted all day, tears that came out of nowhere when you felt like you had been pregnant for the longest time ever, pain in you back and hips and not being able to do things like you used to. But it was so worth it. You had created a new life with the love of your life and although she wasn't planned, it didn't mean that she wasn't wanted or loved. Much to the contrary, you and Lando loved that little girl so much already, as well as everyone else around you, falling in love the minute they saw your ultrasound.

When they started feeling too much for you, Lando moved you both to the shower, supporting your hips as you swayed from side to side, the warm water from the shower practically erasing the pressure for now, "this probably will be the last time in a while that I'll be naked with you and you won't find me weird", you blushed.

Your husband quickly tutted, "no way I'll find you weird, you're so beautiful, Y/N. You're my wife, the mother of my babygirl, you're making me a father, and I will never look at you and think anything less that you're gorgeous, amazing and unstoppable", he added, looking for your eyes and ensuring the message got through to you, "you're the best, Lando", you smiled, kissing his lips before wiping your hands on the towell, tapping the screen to stop the count for the contraction as a message popped up, "it says it is a good time to follow up with the midwife as they're coming closer together", you showed him.

Helping you out and getting dressed in a comfy dress, the sun was rising outside as you bounced on your ball while Lando called the midwife, "Hi, Amelia! It's Lando, did you see our texts? Y/N seems to be in labour", you heard him say on the phone, fingers close to his mouth as he bit his nails nervously while giving her as much information as he knew.

"She says she will be waiting for us at the hospital", Lando informed as he stored his phone in his pocket, "what is missing from the bags?".

"Hmm, phone chargers for both of our phones, the pregnancy pillow - I think it's in our bed -, and I think that's it, the rest has already been packed", you smiled, rubbing your bump, "we need to bring the ball but I'll only let you take this away from me when we go to the car.

"C'mon, my love, easy easy", Lando guided you, hand on the small of your back as you walked to the car, "I can do this on my own, you know that, right?", you giggled, "holding his hand as he opened the door for you, "I know you can, doesn't mean that I don't want to help you or be here in case something happens", he charmed, making sure you were sitting as comfortably as you could.

Running back inside, Lando got all the bags and brought them to the car, closing the trunk and meeting you in the front, "Let's go have a baby", he said, kissing your cheek before switching the car into gear.

Driving to the hospital was fine, making you think that if you could, you should give birth while Lando drove you around as it was the calmest you had seen him since your contractions started.

"Let's not worry until, and if, we have to, okay?", Lando nudged at you, driving into the parking lot and seeing Amelia waving at you.

Taking a deep breath, you took off your seatbelt once the car was parked and opened the door, "Good morning! Y/N, how are we doing this morning?", she smiled, helping you get out as Lando thanked the nurse that had joined you to carry the bags.

"I'm good, although these are getting serious now", you breathed through, accepting Amelia's hand.

"I'm going to park the car and then I'll join you upstairs, okay?", Lando said, kissing your forehead sweetly, "I'll be quick, baby, you won't even notice I'm gone", he smiled.

After checking you in and going up to your room, Amelia helped you into the hospital gown as she introduced the rest of the team you hadn't met yet, "my husband should be here any mi- oh, there he is!", you pointed to the curly haired man asking one of the nurses for you.

"I'm here, I'm here!", he said, breathing in, "I'm Lando, the husband, and father to the little one", he introduced himself, greeting everyone in the room before coming to sit next to you, "need help with anything?", he noticed you fumbling with the sleeves, folding them as Amelia explained what they were expecting to happen and what they would do.

As everyone else left the room, Lando helped you go back to bounce on the ball, grabbing a stool with wheels so he could be at the same level, "are they getting bad?", he questioned. Your eyebrows furrowed more than they relaxed and your eyes were shut most of the time.

Smiling at his voice, you opened your eyes, "they're getting closer now, stronger too. Bouncing isn't as effective as it was when we were home, so we either move to the big drugs or we have to find something else to help", you wiggled your eyebrows.

"We still have all of those stretches to go through, I also remember that one article about how touches just out-", you were quick to slap his arm, "your hands are not going anywhere near the downstairs region, oh, no no no, mister. As much as I believe your fingers could work their magic, I don't want you to be around the area that's going to stretch and push a human out. Not today, baby, not today", you threatened lightly, joking with him despite knowing he genuinely had the best intentions.

"Mum sends her well wishes and a bunch of pink ballons", Lando showed you the text message in the family group chat, seeing your face contort in pain, "hey, do you want to move to the bed or walk around a little bit?", he suggested.

"I want up", you said, holding your arms out so he could support you as someone knocked on the door, "hello Y/N, we came in here to check your dilation. Is that okay?", Amelia asked, putting on gloves.

"I just got up", you sighed, not wanting to sit or lie down again, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sound so rude", you looked up, "where do you need me?".

"Standing up is fine, dear", Amelia crouched down, "I'm just going to touch you", she informed, doing so before coming back up, "you're at 7 cm, dear! You're progressing very well. And, Y/N, we're here to make this as comfortable as possible for you, you don't have to apologise for voicing your needs".

Your husband crouched down, searching for your eyes and hoping to see what you needed through them when you bent, "Here, lean on me, gorgeous", Lando urged, standing straight and grabbing your arms and lacing them around his neck, hands joint on the nape of his neck as you allowed your hips to loosen and allow your abdomen to rest a little too, gravity doing its thing. For anyone else, you included, this would've been a band-aid fix until you fell down, your legs not taking in the force and collapsing soon, but luckily for you, your husband was an athlete with unusually good neck strength so, for a good while, this would work.

"Is that nice?", he wondered, checking in if this position wasn't at the very least hurting and causing you even more pain.

"It's good, yes", you breathed out, syncing with him as you looked up him, your chin resting just below his sternum, "hey there", he whispered as his soft tone brought a smile to your face, almost numbing all the pressure you felt.

"Hey", you blushed as you felt his gaze on you even though he was not looking or concerned about anyone else in that room other than you and his little girl, "I don't know why we've never done this before, I'm actually comfortable", you joked, "glad we found out sooner than later, we can adopt this greeting from here on", he joked back, a little relieved that you were feeling a little bit better.

"I want up, again", you groaned, "I feel like pushing, and I don't know if I can, call someone, please", you asked Lando as you walked about the room once he helped you to stand, ringing the bell, "you're doing so well, love, so so so well", he whispered, holding you as you swayed from side to side.

"Y/N! Do you think it's time?", the OB asked, "I feel like I have to push, but I'm afraid of doing something wrong, so I need someone to check and make sure I'm not doing something bad for me or for my baby", you explained, humming as she approached you.

"It's time to push, Y/N!", the OB winked at you as she put her gloves on, "do you know how you want to do this?", she questioned.

"Can I have him behind me? My back is killing me but I don't want to sit", you tried your best to explain the vision you had in your head.

Lando was quick to push your back gently against his chest as the nurses and Amelia covered the floor around you with disposable covers, "you can hold her by placing your arms under hers - yes, like that -, that way Y/N can let her body do what it needs to do", she guided as Lando held you under your armpits, hands lacing on your chest, "you've got this, my love", he whispered.

"When you feel the contraction, just push and go along with it!", she urged as she sat in position to catch your baby. You allowed your body to fall against your husband, hoping his strength wouldn't fail you now.

Your body urged you to push and you did what it told you, faintly feeling Lando's lips on your sweaty forehead as he whispered words of encouragement while you pushed, "just a little more, I promise, gorgeous, you're doing so well bringing Tilly to us", he said.

Five big pushes and your baby girl was earthside in Amelia's arms, and with a few wiggles, baby Matilda let out her first cry.

"Should we lay Iin the bed now, mummy?", one of the nurses asked as she helped Lando move you to the bed right next to you as they cut the chord.

"Here's your babygirl, congratulations!", she said, putting the little human on your chest after you let one of the sleeves drop so her skin touched yours, "hello, my love, we're your mummy and daddy", you cooed, tears falling from your eyes as you touched her cheeks, kissing her fingers as she seemed to noticed her movements had a little bit more freedom now.

"Hey, beautiful girl", Lando hiccuped, not having two cares in the world that he was crying in a room full of people. He only cared about you, rubbing your shoulder, and the little baby on your chest. His daughter.

"Now we're gonna need to take this little girl to check everything while you deliver the placenta alright?", one of the nurses said and you extended your arms so she could grab him, "I'll stay her with her, if that's okay", Lando checked.

"We'll do it here, you'll still be in the same room", she smiled as she moved to the counter on the side of the room, pulling out the materials she needed like the measuring tape, a scale and such.

"I'll just be in the way there", he said with loving (and still a bit teary) eyes, "I love you so much, baby. Thank you for this, thank you, thank you", Lando said, brushing the hair away from your eyes.

"Thank you for not letting me give up, and for letting me use you like monkey bars in the playground", you smiled, puckering your lips so he would take the hint and kiss them.

The moment Matilda was placed back in her daddy's arms and chest, Lando was sure he would do anything in the world that he needed to do to make sure his family was safe and happy. He vowed to always be there whenever you and his daughter needed, to support you everytime even if he wasn't physically close and to always love you both, no matter what.

"You look so much like mummy, gorgeous girl", he whispered, "you have her chubby cheeks, her nose, although hers is not as button like as yours, but the resemblance is there. You're so loved, babygirl. You have so many uncles waiting to shower you with kisses and presents, grandparents that can't wait to meet you. And me and mummy have wanted you for so long. It wasn't, maybe, in a timing we figured would be best, but the more we thought about it, the more we figured that maybe there wouldn't have been a great timing ever, so your surprise was the best one, ever. I met your mummy because of our work, or part of what I do as well, you'll soon find out. She's so strong, just like you, eh?", he chuckled as she held his finger in her fist with the reflexive tight grip, "and she's kind, persistent, so intelligent, and I hope you get all of those traits, too. You're our dreams come true, Matilda", he said as he kissed her forehead, making her scrunch deliciously against his naked chest.

"How's everyone in here?", Amelia asked after she knocked on the door, to which you replied after the noise woke you up, "we're doing good, the food helped a lot, thank you", referring to the tray of food they brought you as you had barely gotten any sleep since the day before and did not have much of an appetite during labour.

"Now we should see this little one's tummy, if that's okay. Because any minute now I think she'll be hungry", she asked as Lando put on a shirt after placing your daughter on your chest.

Uncovering your chest after joking about everyone in the room having been all in the up in there and how it wasn't a boob flashing that was going to compromise you further, you urged your babygirl to latch on your nipple.

"Alright, let's get this baby to latch, shall we? I'm probably going to have to touch you if that's okay", the nurse said while you nodded, "C'mon, little one, you can't be too lazy about this, it's right there ready for you!", she smiled as she touched her cheek, the reflex immediate as she suckled, "Good job, Matilda", she whispered, looking at your vitals.

"And you, Y/N? How are you feeling?", she questioned as she registered the numbers on her iPad, "I'm good, a little tired, but otherwise fine and very much in love", you blushed, touching Matilda's cheek.

"Lando?", Amelia finally asked, bringing Lando out of his focus as he watched you and your daughter.

Sighing, Lando had the look of love, as Max would often tell him whenever his eyes glossed over and he had the biggest smile on his face, "I'm on cloud nine. I have both of my girls finally with me, they're well and they're healthy. I'm on cloud nine, indeed, I don't need anything else. I have it all right here".

[greyfongschemmenti]

Bitter

Summary: While dating Gary, Melissa found out about your new relationship that leaves her...bitter.

Note: I wrote this on a whim after listening to the song. I kept thinking this in my head and needed to write it out. Not Beta'd. I hope you enjoy

Pairing: Melissa Schemmenti x Reader (gender neutral)

Warning: angst, mentions of alcohol towards the end

This is inspired by the song Bitter by FLETCHER, Kito

WC: 1.1k

Melissa sat at her desk, her manicured fingers tapping rhythmically on the wooden desk as she stared down at her phone. She was debating whether or not to send you a text. You both used to text constantly, sharing jokes, memes, little flirty quips, basically anything and everything. But lately, she noticed that once she and Gary started dating the messages had dwindled to almost nothing. They would still message but it wasn’t the same.

A badge pops up on her phone, y/n just posted a new photo. Melissa hesitated but then she opened the app and a small gasp escaped her lips. A photo of you looking out of frame in mid laugh with the caption, ‘best part of my week are lunch dates with you’. Melissa’s eyes darted up and she noticed that it was y/n’s girlfriend that posted it, some collaboration thing. She’s posting on your instagram now? You’re usually private. Whatever that means she can’t remember what Jacob taught her.

She slammed the phone screen down and covered her face then leaned back in her chair. She glanced up, her eyes inadvertently drawn to the clock on the wall. You would be arriving any minute now, probably hand in hand with the new girlfriend, the one Melissa had heard so much about but never wanted to meet. It all started innocently enough. Melissa and you had always shared a flirtatious rapport, a connection that danced on the line between friendship and something more. Yet, both knew that Melissa was with Gary, and you seemed content with the casual dynamic.

However, when you introduced your new girlfriend to everyone one lunch period, everything changed. Melissa hadn't anticipated the tidal wave of emotions that would crash over her upon seeing you together. It was a bitter pill to swallow, witnessing you with someone else, someone who now occupied the space that Melissa had temporarily claimed.

She sighed and slipped her phone back into her pocket, trying to shake off the feeling of disappointment that lingered like a heavy cloud over her thoughts. you had been her confidante, her partner in crime, even though they had always maintained a flirtatious friendship. But now, with you dating someone new, everything felt different. Though the mature part of her knew that she had no right to feel like this. She was dating Gary afterall and for the most part the relationship was great. 

As if on cue, the school entrance door swung open, you and your girlfriend walked hand in hand heading to the teacher’s lounge. Melissa saw them walk in the room and she couldn't help but notice the way your gaze lingered on your new girlfriend, the adoration evident in every glance. 

She forced herself to focus on the salad she brought for lunch, burying herself in her phone, finding anything to distract herself from the ache in her chest. But no matter how hard she tried, the laughter and banter that flowed easily between you and your girlfriend, every word felt like a knife twisting in her heart.

She stole a glance at you and your new girlfriend, her stomach churning at the sight. You were so happy, seem so in love, and Melissa couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy. She had thought she was enough for y/n, and had convinced herself that their friends with benefits arrangement was all they needed and no harm done when she decided to date Gary. She forgot the part that y/n wouldn’t be waiting around until she was single. But now, seeing you with someone else, it was like a slap in the face, a reminder of her own mistake.

She would catch herself looking at her phone waiting for a reply or a text from you, when there was a notification it turned out to be from either her mom or Kristen Marie. She knew she shouldn't care, shouldn't let your new relationship affect her the way it did. But no matter how hard she tried to rationalize her feelings, she couldn't escape the hurt, the sense of betrayal that gnawed at her from the inside out. Jacob walked in and was playing a song on his phone, a song you remember well.

The memories flooded back, overwhelming her senses as a familiar song filled the air. It was their song, the one they used to dance to in your living room, the one that had always made Melissa feel like this could be something more. But now, it felt like a cruel reminder of everything she had lost.

Melissa forced herself to smile through the tears that threatened to spill over, pretending that she was fine when all she wanted to do was run away and never look back. She felt like a spectator in her own life, watching as you and your girlfriend laughed and joked, wondering if she would ever feel like she belonged again.

She glanced up again, her eyes locking with yours across the room. For a moment, it felt like time stood still, like they were the only two people in the world. But then you gave her a soft smile until you looked away, your attention already drifting back to her, leaving Melissa back to her thoughts.

Lunch breaks at work became torturous affairs, filled with forced smiles and polite conversation on the days that your girlfriend would visit for lunch. Melissa couldn't escape the feeling of being on the outside looking in, forever excluded from the intimate bond that you now shared with someone else.

Even social gatherings with their mutual friends became bittersweet occasions. Melissa watched as you and your girlfriend mingled and started to really integrate with the group. She longed for the days when she and you had been the ones sharing secret smiles and stolen glances. Jacob had suggested that everyone should meet up for drinks after a hectic week of testing. Everyone agreed and it was one of the rare moments that everyone was in one place outside of work. 

Gary and Gerald were in the midst of a conversation while Barbara was telling Melissa about their upcoming plans for Sunday brunch. Yet her gaze went over to the younger group of teachers, forced to watch as you and your girlfriend danced in the middle of the packed bar with eyes so warm looking at each other in an embrace while Jacob and Janine were there recording the interaction. She saw as you held a glass of whiskey you started raising it for a toast with Gregory when he arrived. And in that moment, Melissa knew that no matter how hard she tried to push her feelings away, no matter how much she pretended to be okay, the bitterness would always linger, a constant reminder of what she had lost. Yeah she’s bitter.

[copperbadge]

What do you mean by digital cleaning?

It's something I've been working on more this year because I had a bit more travel than usual so couldn't do actual home cleaning, but I always take a couple of days in the Month Of Cleaning where I'm focused on my digital life. It's good to make your physical home a comfortable place for yourself, but it's also good to recognize that we have "digital" homes that need attention. And often this is at least less physically demanding, so it's good to keep it in your back pocket for days when you're mentally okay but physically too tired or sore to do more of that kind of work.

In the shortest possible terms, digital cleaning is just making sure that your phone, computer, socials, and other digital "presences" are organized in a way that you find helpful, and that you take a moment to either answer those messages you've been putting off or give yourself amnesty on doing so.

This tends to make a lot of people extremely anxious in a way ordinary physical space cleaning doesn't, so I'm going to put the rest of it behind a cut...

So when I say digital cleaning, I refer to stuff like going through my likes on Tumblr and clearing them out, going through my drafts and turning them into queued posts, answering my asks. I spend time in my email inboxes, either responding to messages or removing them. I am not an "inbox zero" kind of guy, but I like to keep the read-but-not-answered messages to a minimum, and towards the end of the year that usually means a clear-out and amnesty. I clean my Google Drive -- delete old files I uploaded for others, move documents I'm no longer using into an archive, move documents I want to work on into a central work folder. I go through my catch-all folder on my hard drive and organize it; I sort through the year's photos and organize those, partly to archive them and partly because I make a scrapbook from them each year. I don't usually have a ton of tabs open but often have more than I'd like, so I go through them all and either read, bookmark, or get rid of them.

I look in my phone's file tree to make sure I delete files I don't need (mostly menu downloads, Restaurants Stop Making Your Menus PDFs Challenge 2K24) and I sometimes go through each app on my phone, make sure I still use it, and make sure it's set how I want it. If this sounds like a nightmare, bear in mind that I very rarely put apps on my phone to start with -- I think my mother has more apps open at any given time than I have apps on my phone ever.

Everywhere I clean, I look for files named things like "notes" or "deal with" or "random" and move them all into one place so that whatever is in them, I can sort through it and make sure it goes somewhere permanent. Logins go in the login/password spreadsheet I keep, addresses go into my contacts, story notes go into a "fiction scraps" file, random thoughts either get moved into a journal file or put into drafts to become Tumblr posts, etc.

If this sounds like I might have some kind of compulsion disorder, I get that; when I explain my digital hygiene systems a lot of people look at me like I'm spouting a mad but harmless conspiracy theory. But it's something I used to have to do periodically even before I created National Clean Your Home Month, because otherwise I could never find anything, and everything was just...harder. As I once told a boss who admired my organizational skills, "It was this or endless chaos."

Putting addresses into my contacts list means I always know that the addresses I have for my friends are up to date. Putting logins into a spreadsheet means that five minutes spent now will not result in five weeks of procrastination later because I can't find the login and can't do anything else until I do that. Going through my email and archiving old conversations means not only can I find them easily when needed, I don't have to look at them the rest of the time. Sometimes I even go through my various wish lists and remove old/purchased items, or clear out all my "save for later" carts.

There's no doubt this is stressful, but like every part of NaClYoHo, it's broken down into smaller tasks; I don't have to look at my computer and organize everything on it all in one day. I can answer a few asks, then sort photos (something I find very soothing up until the moment I Don't), then read and delete some emails, then I'm done for the day. I can spread "answer or file all your work emails" out over a couple of days. I can maybe empty out my Likes but just turn the ones I actually want to reblog into drafts for now and deal with them later in the "drafts" phase of cleaning. And if I don't manage to empty out my inboxes, at least they're emptier than they were.

I'm struggling this morning with having put a bunch of physical cleaning on the to-do list but not feeling physically up for it, so I did what I felt capable of doing (measuring cabinets for new shelf liners mainly) and later today I might sit down and start building this year's photobook. Or not -- I have to code Radio Free Monday, sort out a prescription and possibly go pick it up, plus a very full day of work and a couple of afternoon appointments I can't shirk, so today may simply be a "get through the day" kind of day. That's okay too; some days the spirit is willing but the schedule is full.

[yuri-is-online]

hi, thank you for answering! i really love the fyuuture kid au!! could i ask for cater!yutu? 👀 i wonder if yutu knows there is more to him, and if yuu remembered that too in the og timeline to tell their son

👀 you may. I have a separate fic I am supposed to be writing for him but I had thoughts...

notes: they/them used for Yuu, cw for discussions of mental health and suicide, but no one self harms and nothing is described. General fyuuture kid au info can be found here and the first post can be found here. More of it can be found under the series section of my masterlist.

Yuu's memories of Twisted Wonderland are less concrete thoughts and more feelings. They know how Cater made them feel, and bits and pieces of his personality but they lack memory of the context, so their memory tries to patch up the holes. In other words, they don't remember Cater's act was an act, and they explain him to Yutu as a creative, friendly person, who likely struggled with a form of depression.

"Your father would sometimes find himself feeling despondent, lacking energy, and motivation. There is a chance as you get older that you might feel that way sometimes too, but that's not because you are a failure or because you did something wrong. I won't hate you if you feel that way and I will never judge you for it. I will always be there for you."

It's a good call, Yutu does find himself having some periods of depression as he gets older from time to time, and the early conversation Yuu had with him allowed him to feel comfortable with discussing that with his parent. The idea that his father had similar struggles comforts him, doubly so if Yuu does as well. He thinks about his dad a lot actually, Yuu's lack of memory means Yutu's over active imagination tries to fill in the blanks.

There is a part of him that thinks his father might have lost his battle with depression and that Yuu's memory loss was due to grief. He respects his father a lot, and is determined to take care of his own and Yuu's physical and mental well being to honor him. Yutu likes to think that is what his dad would want.

He loves music, he finds playing guitar and singing to be very soothing, but he's not super interested in being in a band; he is much more interested in maybe jamming a bit and just talking with his friends. Pretty much exactly like his dad now that I think about it.

I like the thought of Cater! Yutu wanting to be a psychologist when he grows up... and knowing that Yuu isn't the wealthiest person starts working part time to save up for college. He's a very driven person, and deeply interested in what makes people tick.

Cater! Yutu is one of the Yutu's who is A) in a different dorm than his dad (Octavinelle, not Heartslabyul) and B) who sort of prefers your world to Twisted Wonderland. He warms up to Twisted Wonderland after traveling into the past and actually gets to see what it's like, but he really didn't like fighting monsters or seeing what had happened to his father, speaking of which-

He tried asking about what his father was like before he was transformed into a monster, but he didn't get a lot of clear answers. Crewel tells him that he was very outgoing and peppy, a good enough student who was really into an app called magicam that isn't around anymore due to the *gestures vaguely at the apocalypse* and Sam told him a neat story about his New Year's sale and how well his dad could work a crowd. "Good with people." That's something he hears a lot, but nothing to suggest he wasn't always happy. They do have some recordings the pop music club made they pass along to him that Yutu treasures and keeps close.

Yutu had to fight his dad's monster form multiple times to try and rescue people from the Queendom of Roses. It was painful to see a monster who is actively trying to kill him and people he has come to care about and then have him pointed out to him as his dad. There isn't any life left in Cater's eyes to recognize him, but Yutu still wants it to be there. He has so many questions and no one left to answer them.

When he travels back in time, Yutu doesn't interact with Cater immediately. His mind still associates him with blot and grueling fights, so he hangs back around Yuu and Adeuce. It was a bit difficult to get used to being around them, but it helped that Deuce is very polite and his focus on being an honor student is kind of cute. Ace though...

Ace is suspicious. He tries telling those suspicions to Cater, "Hey don't you like Yuu haven't you asked them out a whole bunch you should be worried about this-" blah blah blah, look Cater wasn't there to see Yutu arrive, and he knows the froshes like to exaggerate. There is no way Yutu fell out of the sky and it isn't a big deal that he knows so much about Yuu. They're probably just childhood friends, and those never win even if it would be kind of cute- hey maybe they're related??? It doesn't matter, Cater is determined not to think about it. Which leads to a series of miscommunications where Cater tries teasing Yutu but it just makes him look like an ass for assuming things.

Yutu actually finds this sort of interesting. Now that he actually is talking to his dad, well no. Now that he has actually heard his dad open his mouth and speak it is sort of difficult to think of him as a blot monster or to be afraid. Overblot Cater never said something like "yikes a tron 3000." He thinks he gets what Yuu was remembering about him, Cater can come off as very fake sure, but there are traces of the real him in what he does and says. His dad likes the color yellow, catchy music, being praised when he does something cool, and he wants to be taken care of by someone. Someone Yutu suspects is his parent~

It also helps that he has been stealing Yuu's phone while they're asleep (he tried their password from the future it still worked rip bozo) and scrolls through Cater's magicam feed to try and get a sense for what he liked in between all the trends. He noticed the skateboard stuff and made sure to ask about it by saying something about how "oh I heard about it from Yuu, they thought it was really cool."

Cater isn't really ready to be a dad, but he is surprisingly chill when he learns just who Yutu is.

"Oh please you're here aren't you? You wouldn't be unless I wanted you." Cater sounds so ridiculously sure of himself that Yutu half wonders if he is talking to someone else. But no, it's his dad. His very creative, very good with people, sometimes a bit depressed dad who respects him enough to be honest with him. "You have to know that Yuu wants you to be here, right? I didn't screw that up for you, did I?"

"It wasn't you." He needed to say that out loud for himself, because it wasn't. Yutu's Cater was dead a long time before he ever got to see him. "It looked like you, but it wasn't you."

They like to play music together sometimes, but in typical pop music club fashion they usually just eat snacks and talk. Yutu wants to play some of the music on the recordings Crewel gave him with Cater and Cater wants to make new tracks. He is a bit disappointed that there was no magicam in the future for Yutu to tell him about, but he is just as happy to hear weird trends from Yuu's world.

Cater likes to bring Yuu in to these jam sessions sometimes. He does like to do couple stuff with Yuu on magicam sometimes, but he prefers to keep his more genuine emotions and moments to himself. He will get very embarrassed if he finds out that Yutu has been taking pictures with the ghost camera behind his back.

The future that Yutu came from scares him, he would prefer someone else take the lead on figuring out how to fix it, but if monsters begin attacking in this time? Well he has no problem taking point on that, hey he's heard kids find things less scary if they see their dad's there to protect them.

And Cater is pretty scary when he's mad about missing out on something ♡

[topguncortez]

G, NOT MY BREEDING KINK FREAKING THE FUCK OUT RN.

BRADLEY BRADSHAW IS A SLUT WITH THE BIGGEST FATTEST BREEDING KINK

basing this off a conversation I had once upon a time recently

quick breeding kink blurb:

You groaned as you felt another cramp go through your body. Your period was never a fun time. The pain was unbearable, you felt gross and bloated the whole time, and not to mention how many pairs of underwear you had to toss out once a month. The only thing that had made it somewhat better was the fact that you had a partner who was attentive to you and helped you through it.

Rooster knew from the way you were sleeping the other day that your period had come. He had gone out, using the list that you had typed on his notes app, and got everything that you would need and then some. When you woke up, he was right by your side with a bottle of midol and your heating pad. He stayed with you for most of the day, rubbing your back and giving you tons of kisses.

The one thing that you both liked about your period, was how insatiable you got. It was like you couldn't get enough of him, and he couldn't get enough of you. Call it basic biology, call it going back to the basic animal instinct that all humans had in them, but the two of you could hardly keep your hands to yourself.

"Fuck, Rooster," You moaned as he kissed your neck. You were more sensitive and vocal on your period. Every touch was like electricity. Rooster could probably get you off by just touching the erogenous zone.

"Mhm, I hear you baby," Rooster said, running his hands up and down your back as you grind your hips down onto his.

"This isn't fair," You pouted and Rooster chuckled pulling away from you, "I hate this."

You didn't strictly have a no period sex rule, but you didn't want to have sex on the heavy days. The heavy days were almost too much for you to handle anyway. The blood and the smell almost made you nauseous, you couldn't even fathom Rooster being all up in there. He told you that it wouldn't bother him, but that it was all up to you.

"This is gonna be your last one," Rooster said and kissed you.

You pulled away from him confused, "What do you mean? You coming up with some magical period ender?"

"Nope," He smirked, placing his lips back on your neck, "Gonna knock you up." A shiver went do your body and you melted into him even more, "Yeah? You like that idea?" You nodded and started grinding against Rooster's lap again, your clothed clit getting stimulated with each movement of your hips, "Gon' knock you up, watch you grow with my baby."

"Yes! Oh fuck yes!" You tossed your head back, and Rooster's hands went to your hips, controlling the movement, "Fucking hell Rooster, I want your baby so bad."

"I know you do, honey," Rooster said, "Wan' give it to you. First chance I get, I'm filling you up and gonna keep doing it until you get pregnant. Fuck, you'd look so gorgeous. Swollen tits," He brushed his thumbs against the pert nipples sticking out from behind the confines of your sports bra, "Belly all full of me. My perfect honey, all full of my baby."

[jeankluv]

Happy birthday my love || Satoru Gojo x gn!reader

Words: 0.8k

Warnings: hurt/comfort, no use of y/n, short fic, fluff, use of pet names (baby, sweetheart, my love)

Notes: a few days ago was my birthday and this short fic came to me. It doesn’t have anything special but I wanted to post it. And since I’m preparing a Gojo college fic I wanted to post a one shot about him before releasing it, maybe in the future there are more one shots.

Materialist

You hated your birthday, ever since you were 7 and no one decided to show up at your birthday party you hated it. It was that moment you decided not to tell anyone when your birthday was because it was pointless, no one would remember it anyways. And no one bothered on asking.

So now turning 28 you do it on your own, the only called to wish you a happy birthday is from your mom but no one else called and you don’t blame them. In the end they don’t know when your birthday is. Is more your fault than anyone else but you don’t want to suffer what you suffered back on the day. So it’s better like this, at least that’s what you tell yourself, but the pain is still there.

Now you are on your sofa, with the sun already gone and watching a random film you found on stream. It’s entertaining, even funny you could say but your mind is lost in other parts.

You heard three knocks on your door. You are shattered at first until you see a message on your phone.

Open up! It’s me

You rolled your eyes, what was he doing there? He was supposed to be out of city for the weekend. You got up heavily from the couch and shuffled to the entrance. You opened the door to see the smiling face of your boyfriend, Satoru Gojo.

You had met through a dating app almost a year ago and after a couple of dates you had started dating. Satoru or 'Toru as he liked to be called, used to spend a lot of time away from home, his work made him travel and be away from there for short periods. You can't deny that at first he gave you a bad feeling, all those “trips” set off alarm bells, but after 9 months of dating, Satoru had never done anything to make you doubt what you had. Rather everything he did made you fall more in love with him. You could safely say that you trusted him completely.

“Hello baby.” He said giving you a kiss on the forehead, he was way taller than you so it was a gesture he would always do. “I got us pizza.” He said showing it.

“That’s great.” You closed the door. “But I thought you were out for a business trip.” You sat down next to him on the coach.

“Yeah, but I finished everything earlier so I came here as soon as I could.” He hanged you a piece of pizza.

“Hmm.” You tasted it, pepperoni, you’re favorite.

It was scary how well he knew you sometimes.

“Besides.” He looked at you. “How could I leave my baby alone on this day?”

You looked at him confused. “What do you mean?”

He smiled and turned around to search for something on his jacket. “I know you have never told me.” He paused for a moment. “And maybe this is crossing the line and I’m sorry if I’m crossing the line but.” He turned around and you saw what he had on his hands. Two candles, a 2 and an 8. “Let me spend your birthday with you my love.” He placed the candles on one slide of pizza and turned them on. “Happy birthday sweetheart.” He placed the portion in front of you.

“How…” Your eyes stung, you were going to break at any moment, how long has it been since you blew out the candles? You don't even remember it anymore. “How did you find out?”

“It's not very gentlemanly of me but look at your ID. I'm sorry.” You shook your head. “Now make a wish my love.”

And for the first time in years you blew out the candles making a wish. You opened your eyes to find Satoru's blue eyes looking at you and smiling.

“I was going to buy a cake but the bakeries were already closed. And since you loved pizza you decided it could be interesting to be a cake right?”

“‘Toru.” You threw yourself and braced him. “Thank you for this.” You couldn’t contain your tears any longer, so you let them flow.

“Don’t thank me babe.” He kissed your hair. “Next year, I will take you out and we will have a big birthday party for you.”

You shook your head. “If it’s you and me, like this, next year it will be perfect.”

He touched your cheeks. “I love you.”

“I love you too, ‘Toru.” You kissed him.

“Happy birthday my love and thank you for being in my life.”

[musings-of-a-rose]

Mistake - Part 2

Pairing: Frankie Morales, Santiago Garcia, F!reader

Word Count: 2500+

Rating: Mature - 18+ ONLY!

Warnings: Just like ao3, “creator chooses not to use warnings.” If you click Keep Reading, that means you agree that you’re the age to handle mature themes. Also by clicking Keep Reading, you understand warnings may not be complete in order to avoid spoilers for the story. 

Notes: I never planned to write a part 2 for Mistake, but so many people asked me for one, I felt compelled to write it! A HUGE thanks to @mermaidxatxheart for literally saving my ass on this one. Seriously, go thank her and while you’re there, binge her writing!

**If you want to be added to the taglist, join here or let me know!

❤If you enjoy the fic, please consider giving me a warm beverage! (It is not required in any way!)

**Reader is not described

Main Masterlist

Frankie Morales Masterlist

Santiago Garcia Masterlist

<<Mistake Part 1<<

It's been 6 weeks since I've talked to Santi or Frankie. I've been begging Santi to talk to me, apologizing to a now full inbox, flooding his phone with texts. He's not as his usual spots whenever I manage to get the courage to try and find him. The guilt has made me physically sick, exhausted all the time from just thinking about it. 

And then there's Frankie. 

As much as I've tried to reach out to Santi, Frankie has tried to reach me. On one hand, it's hard not to talk to him. He's been my best friend since forever. I've been in love with him nearly that entire time, and apparently the feeling is mutual. 

But the way we had to find out was fucked up. 

I never wanted to hurt Santi. I do love him, but if I'm being honest with myself, I didn't love him the way he deserves. It's like he was the closest thing I could get to Frankie. 

Bile rises in my throat, my stomach churning and I run to the bathroom, just barely making it to the toilet before emptying my breakfast into it. It's been like this for a couple of weeks, my guilt taking over my body physically to match the way my heart feels. All I'd need now to top off this fuck me fest is my period-

Wait. When did I have that last?

I whip out my phone, quickly tapping on my calendar app, looking for the red dots indicating the start of my cycle. Once I find them, I quickly count the weeks and realize I'm nearly a month overdue for my period. 

"There's no way."

I skim the calendar, locating the day that we had our combined bachelor/ette parties and…fuck it's totally possible. Fuck fuck fuck!

After I finish vomiting yet again, I manage to get myself out of the house and to the pharmacy up the street, sort of floating through the aisles to pick up a box of pregnancy tests. I silently pay for them and the woman hands me my bag, offering a small smile and a "Good luck," to me under her breath. 

I get home and head straight into the bathroom, determined not to drag this out. I'm just sick from the horrible shit I've put Santi through. That has to be it. My mind goes a million places all at once, until the little timer on my phone goes off. Taking a deep breath, I flip the test over. 

PREGNANT

I stare at the word as it stares back at me, taking several long seconds before I actually take it what I'm seeing. Pregnant. I'm pregnant. There's a baby in me right now. And it's…

There was only 1 person I had sex with at that time, as Santi and I were on a temporary hiatus until after the wedding. 

"Of fucking course!" I yell at the universe, once again throwing a curveball in the path that is my relationship to Frankie.

Frankie. Fuck, what is he going to say? He already has a kid from an ex wife. An ex wife he hates. I don't want to be like her, forcing Frankie into something he doesn't want. But what do I want?

A quick text to my friend and she's coming over for drinks. Well, one of us is drinking anyway. 

—-

"I'm sorry,  you're what??" My friend Olivia spits out, handing me a napkin for the drink she just spit at me.

"Pregnant."

"Yeah I heard you I just…are you sure?"

I nod. "I took several tests. I have my OB appointment next week and-"

"Wait. You're keeping it?"

I take a breath, eyes scanning my living room. "Yeah."

Olivia looks at me. "You think Santi will come back?"

I play with the condensation on my glass of water. "It's Frankie's."

Olivia slams her hand on the table. "What? From that night?"

I nod and she lets out a whistle. "Are you gonna tell him?"

"I don't-"

Suddenly, I hear footsteps on my porch. Confused, as I wasn't expecting anyone, I get up, Olivia following behind me as I open the door. 

"Hey."

My stomach drops completely out as I stare up into the eyes of my ex fiance. 

"S-Santi."

His eyes scan my face, dipping quickly down my body. "Can I come in?"

"I uh.. s-sure."

I step back, allowing Santi to come into my home. He gives me a small smile and holds up his finger. 

"Wait a sec." He looks back out towards my driveway.

I hear more footsteps on my porch and then he's there, curls flipping out from under a hat, hands in his pockets because he doesn't know how to deal with the tension. 

"Come on, man. Don't just stand there." Santi walks past me and grabs his arm, pulling him inside. We all stand there in an awkward silence for several long moments before Santi clears his throat. 

"Can we talk?"

"Y-yeah." 

Santi follows me into the kitchen, Olivia giving me a questioning look as I pass her. I honestly have no idea what's going on and am having a hard time processing everything that's happening. I offer Santi a drink, but he declines, leaning against the counter and crossing his arms. 

"I'm sorry," Santi says with extreme sincerity. 

Well that was unexpected.

"What?"

"I've been thinking these last few weeks and I've realized a lot of shit. I love you, querida, and I always will. But I think I loved the idea of you more."

"Again, what?"

"Look, I… I won't lie. When I saw you there with Frankie…that fucking hurt. I mean destroyed me." He puts a hand out as I open my mouth to apologize. 

"Just let me talk… anyway, I realized through the pain that what I was missing most was a wife, the commitment to someone to start a life with. Not you, exactly. I mean it…it still fucking hurts, but I'm not… I'm not mad. Anymore.” He takes a moment to gather himself and me? I’m just…I have no words.

“Querida, you deserve someone who loves you for you. Who wants to be with you and not just because it’s easy. Frankie is that. No, don’t look at me like that, he is. I… I knew he was in love with you, even with all the shit that happened with Claire, and I knew how you felt. It wasn’t hard to figure out - you’re both idiots.” He chuckles a little sadly and I feel tears starting to burn at the corners of my eyes. “I really should have never pursued you, but when Frankie got Claire pregnant and then married her, you looked so sad and I just…I wanted to take care of you. Take that hurt away-”

“And you did! You-”

“That’s good to know…Anyway, I reached out to Frankie and he tells me you aren’t talking to him? That you hate him?”

I dab furiously at my eyes, trying to get them to stop leaking, but I nod. “He lied, Santi. We both did. He knew I was c-calling your n-name and he k-kept going. And I f-figured out w-what I was d-doing and started c-calling out his n-name, and I just, Santi I am s-so s-s-sorry, and n-now I c-can’t s-stop c-crying!”

Santi swallows hard, then closes the distance between us, wrapping me in his arms, letting me soak his shirt as my shoulders shake. He shushs me, rocking me slightly to get me to calm down. Eventually, I do, somehow managing to contain myself and these pregnancy hormones.

Ah, fuck. The pregnancy. Do I tell Santi? No, I have to talk to Frankie first. 

“Querida, you have to talk to Frankie.”

I look up at him, pushing away from him and wiping my eyes. “No. I-I can’t.”

“If you’re worried about me, don’t be. I didn’t go through all of this self discovery to not have the 2 most important people in my life be together when they’re so very obviously still in love with each other.”

“Santi, I cheated on you with him. I can’t just forget-”

“Look. It wouldn’t have happened if it were anyone else and I know that. I knew better and I shouldn’t have asked you out. Just…talk to him? For me?” He raises his eyebrows at me until I agree. He smiles, giving me one last hug and kissing the top of my head.

I’m still not sure what’s happening, not entirely. Santi showing up and forgiving me was not on my bingo card for this lifetime.

Santi turns and walks out of the kitchen and I follow him, walking into the living area where Olivia and Frankie were making idle chit chat.

“Hey Fish, I’m gonna head out. It’s all good- no. You stay here.” Santi glances up at Olivia and his entire demeanour changes, like he just noticed, really noticed she was here. 

“Oh. Uh, yeah I’m heading out too,” Olivia says, meeting Santi’s gaze. “And you can take me to dinner. I’m starving.”

Santi smiles at her. “I’d love to.”

They leave, Frankie and I staring in shock at the closed door for several moments before I shake my head, moving to lock the door. I take a breath and turn around to see Frankie standing there, nervously shifting from foot to foot, lifting the hat from the top of his head and running his fingers through his hair.

Fuck he’s so hot.

“Did…did Santi tell you everything?”

I nod, my arms wrapping around myself. “He did.”

“Kind of wild, wasn’t it?”

“I mean, whatever works for him. He seems to be doing ok.”

“Yeah.”

Silence stretches between us for several long moments. 

“Hermosa, I- I’m sorry. Really. I shouldn’t have…I should’ve stopped-”

I sigh. “Yeah, but I knew, Frankie.”

“You what?”

“When you left, I started remembering more. At first I thought you were Santi but I did realize it at some point and then just…changed to saying your name. I wasn’t thinking straight because I love you, and then-”

Frankie’s eyes snap to mine. “You love me?”

“I-” I look at him. Time to confess everything.

“I..do.”

Frankie smiles, but then remembers we’re supposed to be serious, so he drops it. “I love you too.”

I study his face, the worry in his eyes, the patches in his beard. I have to tell him, even if it pushes him away. 

"Come sit with me?" I ask nervously, moving around to sit on the couch.

"Yeah. Yeah, ok." Frankie sits next to me, smoothing out his pants several times before settling. 

Fuck, this is hard. 

"Hermosa, I-"

"I'm pregnant."

Frankie freezes, mouth open mid word as his brain tries to process what I said. 

"P-pregnant?"

I nod. "Yup."

Several long moments pass between us, the air charged with tension. 

"Well…I.. I hope you and Santi can.. get back together. For the… the baby."

My eyebrows pinch together, my head slightly cooking to the side. "What?"

"Santi. I mean, I know he said he loves the idea of you more, but I think, or hope that would change with you carrying his child."

Oh. He doesn't realize.

"No, Frankie. It's not… the baby is yours."

His eyes grow wide, searching my face for a lie. "Wh-what? Are you sure?"

I nod. "Santi and I had promised no, uh, no sex for the month leading up to the wedding. So-"

"That night."

I nod. "Yup." I emphasize the p sound. 

"Listen, Frankie, I've thought about it a lot and… I'm keeping the baby. And you can be as involved as you want or not involved-" 

To my surprise, he's smiling, growing wider by the second and his eyes are all watery, like he's holding back tears. 

"Frank-"

"We're having a baby?"

"Yes. But did you hear-"

"Together? You and I?"

"Yes, that's what I said. Frankie, are you listening to-"

He lets out a small laugh, the smile lighting up his whole face and I swear he chokes back a "whoop". He takes my hand in his and the warmth from it immediately starts to calm me. His other hand comes up to the side of my face, his large fingers curving around the back of my head as his thumb softly rubs at the skin of my cheek. His eyes move between mine and then down to my lips and before I can think, he's in front of me, our lips just barely out of reach.

"Can I kiss you?" Frankie whispers, and I can't think of anything else besides how much I want him.

"Yes."

His lips push against mine gently, his fingers tightening their grip as he increases the pressure, sliding his tongue into my willing mouth. 

"Wait." I push back from him and he trails after me, eyes confused. 

"Did I hurt you?"

"No but Frankie, I think we need to talk about the baby in my uterus."

"What's there to talk about?"

My eyebrow raises. "Seriously?"

He smiles, nodding. "I'm all in, hermosa. Always. As much as you'll have me or want me to be."

"But you already have a daughter with someone else."

"So our baby will have a sister already."

"What about Claire?"

Anger flashes in his eyes. "What about her?"

"Will she be ok with this?" I gesture to my stomach. "With us?"

"I don't give a fuck what she thinks of us- wait. There's an us?"

"I-I-" Time to throw your last card on the table, the one you'd never lay down if it wasn't for Santi giving you permission.

"If.. if you don't think me and the baby would cramp your style."

He laughs, smiling wide for a few seconds before his eyes get a little darker, his voice dropping an octave or two.

"I'd put a hundred babies in you if you'd let me."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I love you, Hermosa."

—-

With Santi's enthusiastic insistence, we get married a few months after our son is born.

And Santi marries Olivia the following year, starting on that life he always wanted. 

-------

General Taglist:

@frankie-catfish-morales @chaoticgeminate @janebby @astoryisaloveaffair @balekanemohafe @greeneyedblondie44 @hoeforthefictional @marvelousmermaid @hauntedmama @giuliarogers @icanbeyourjedi @wretchedmo @sunnshineeexoxo @livingmydreams13 @adventures-of-a-noodle @sara-alonso @theewokingdead @punkerthanpascal @giggly-otter @f0rever15elf @phandoz @dirtytissuebox @gallowsjoker @lovesbiggerthanpride @sarahmilesbendrix @booksarekindaneat @mrsudontknowme @swol-bear @charlispersonallyhell @xoxabs88xox @amneris21 @gooddaykate @alindeluce @avengers-fixation @paintballkid711 @harriedandharassed   @ladykatakuri @marrianena  @practicalghost @withakindheartx @batdarkladyvampir @justanotherkpopstanlol   @alexxavicry @ichigodjarin @justreblogginfics

[felixsterprankster]

Falco “Volks” Eriksson tiny in depth description Step 1

SHE/HER PRONOUNS AND “IVORY” IN USE

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Ivory has moved all the way from their home country, Norway! She was used to moving around but to a whole new continent, it was so different in America than it was in Norway. She got her name from another local Bestemor in the town she was born in due to very pale skin and bright blond hair she was born with, though it started to turn a dark shade of brown after his 4th birthday! Ivory has many fun things about her that draw people to her naturally. Similar her neighbor who are practically twins who look nothing alike, Ivory carries around a messenger under her shawl jacket thingy (?) with all sorta of nooks, such as a few examples. Hair ties, an extra pair of earrings, random ribbon, a few Krone coins. It changes often depending if he found a cool looking rock or a charm at the antique shop.

She is her En Mammas biggest supporter and defender.

She is closer to Tamarack than Qiu due to both the girls similarities. “She’s my long lost twin!” She says as she stomps her little foot on the ground when someone tries to tell her that her and Tamarack aren’t sisters

At the start of step 1 Ivory has already been diagnosed with ADHD and has been since the 4th grade, she has an IEP to help her in school such as when it comes to in class assignments an tests, Ivory us takin out in a small group of people along side of having a 30 minute period where they just walk around the school with their Para and extra time for homework. After lunch he goes gona different class room with a few other kids to do small group activities to help them understand subjects together as well as Ivory standing on a wobble board as Ivory would and still into adult hood rolled their ankles alot.

Ivory was also in in school speech therapy from the start of 1st grade and all the way till 7th grade due to a speech impediment (a small stutter) and Rhotacism (trouble pronouncing the “R” sound) and it got better but definitely never went away.

(These are 100% based on my own experiences with having an IEP for ADHD and in school speech therapy)

Ivory also has attachment issues when it comes to her friends, always afraid that one day she’ll have to move again and leave behind her friends. Moving around alot has also caused her to some times lash out at people, but she doesn’t mean to, she feels bad afterward and even weeks later she’s apologizing randomly for it, no one knows what causes these moments but their also rare for her.

Sh has the habit of picking at her nails an lips so he nails always look rough with her outdoorsy nature and her picking at them, same with her lips.

Doesn't think to much about not having a dad in step 1 but still gets a little sad around Fathers day and when it comes to school events like Donuts with Dad or those Daddy Daughter dances.

Speaking of Father's day, sh makes Opal a card on Fathers day calling the day "Mothers Day Part 2" for her

Always doodling on her arm or in the warmer months, her legs. Opal calls her a walking coloring books

˚☆˖° ˚☆˖° ˚☆˖° ˚☆˖° ˚☆˖° ˚☆˖° ˚☆˖° ˚☆˖° ˚☆˖°

This was 100% sorta a ramble post about Falco

Just random stuff I had in my notes app about him in step 1 cause he's my child

[chai-en-kaadhale]

things that happened in the sad book apocalypse novel that I Am Not Over

----> copy pasted from my silly little notes app

- Kdj's second mother is persephone, his father is hades

- Kdj's brother is a literal monkey. I mean like 3 literal monkeys. And he is also a monkey. A magical one. Hes also a squid

- Also his first mother covered up his first homicide, which was his first father. Biologically at least

- The constellations become idols

- Biyoo's mentor as Shin Yoosung of the 41st round was Yjh, her soul was taken by Kdj and stuffed in an egg for Bihyung to hatch, so excluding whoever her bio parents were, Biyoo had a grand total of 3 dads

- To reiterate, he had a daughter with a weird troll who became the king of weird trolls. she is also a fluffy ball with a horn.

- Secretive Plotter is the embodiment of Washing Machine Heart

- Yjh becomes a girl for a bit

- Hsy is a boy when we meet her

- Kdj becomes an actual demon king

(ah yes the three genders; girl, boy and demon king)

- yjh kdj and hsy scam anna croft out of 3 million coins

- hmg's child gets possessed by a goetic demon

- kdj gets a scenario where he'll die if he doesn't socialize

- ysa slams yjh's head into a wall

- The 4th wall eats kdj's mother (as in the wanderer king)

- lhs turns into a sword and starts sobbing

- lhs gets kidnapped by the wizard of oz (in a sense)

- Surya (as in the god of the fucking sun) has a train.

- knw becomes an EVA like shinji's mom. or an EVA pilot? idk i never got that bit

- the way hmg got the child. iykyk ;)

- Buddha himself shoves the main characters into a period drama - Actaully no the entire Kaixenix arc wtf was that

- "[Constellation 'Demon Kind of Salvation'] is throwing a tantrum at constellation 'Secretive Plotter']"

- kdj beating the shit out of paul (king shit)

- jhy called kdj ugly to his face upon barely having spoken to him

- yjh fought a dog (we love breaking the sky sword master though)

- abfd made hsy move kdj so that instead of an attack hitting his <black flame dragon> it literally killed him

- "Im sure hsy and kdj are doing something very important and hard for us and thats why they couldn't stay" Cut to hsy and kdj living it up in a ferrari

- 999 yjh turns into a dumpling

- kdj turns into a dumpling

- ljh misunterstanding kdj and yjh

- "maybe kdj likes getting kidnapped"

- The pocketwatch being left on the bed after yjh leaves :(((

- 1863 hsy plagerising her way into seeing the conclusion and then becoming tls123

- kdj not liking tomatoes

- hsy's first hint of suspicion that something was up with 49%kdj being that he liked tomatoes

- 999knw,ljh, and uriel and 1863 yjh taking od to parent-teacher conferences

- hades when persephone was leaving: "honeyy do you HAVEE to leave :'ccc"

- "Terrorist identified as supreme king yoo junghyeok, 33, unemployed"

- "WEIRD SPACECRAFT SEEN CRASHING INTO EARTH WITH... TERRORIST YJH INSIDE OF IT?????"

- hsy becoming a professor who teaches stuff about webnovels

- 999yjh teaching kdj how to properly make murim dumplings

- ysa becomes tripitaka and a prospective buddha part 2

- kimcom fights the sun and also the ocean

- "yjh. where is kdj?"

- "This man. Arrest him."

- tmyfiictrwiegtmya?

- yjh eats dirt

- yjh gets revenge on dokja for making him eat the dirt

- The Secretive Plotter has been having a "domiti why not me" moment for the entire round so far so he sends kdj to kill him in the 1863rd round in such a way that yjh doesn't regress ever again but with the ulterior motive of ensuring that 1863!yjh doesn't become him in the present thereby erasing his existence (rip)

Except that just results in kdj creating both him and the current yjh, neither of which would have happened if he didnt sent kdj out in the first place thus resulting in all of his problems.

- Secretive Plotter also sent out hsy#2 to his round and she ended up becoming one of the things that caused the entire story to happen to begin with. Thus resulting in both his existence and all his problems by extension.

- tl;dr, secretive plotter fucked up his plotting so bad that it literally became the cause of all of his problems. and everyone else's problems by extension bc protagonist.

- The fact that everything is in a time loop

- The multiverse and also the fact that jaehwan is in it too

- kdj was in the subway for over 21,763 years mind if i cry

- sooyoung and junghyeok share the love language of chokehold

- hsy @ dokkaebi king: "yeahh so about the apocalypse. could you like,, not..?" or smthng like that

- everything is happening at the same time. bro. bro.

- anna croft was born in las vegas. i did not know you could be born in las vegas. i did not know that ppl actually gave birth in las vegas bc the first thing their baby would probably smell would be cigarette smoke and it would probably develop epilepsy or sumn from all the lights

- that one scene where jhw shoots up with her angel wings, hsy rides a dragon up into the sky, and yjh walks on air or something like that shit was cold

- the potential of a golden eye edit with yjh bc of his transcender eye AND IT SHOULD HAPPEN ALREADY

- kdj just having been a constellation this whole time and an incarnation the whole time as well. he kinda had the pain from both sides :(((

- hsy casually being rich asf pre apocalypse AND A NEPO BABY TOO

- the entire book was just a bunch of people ((well mostly just the two)) faced with a trolly problem on a multi-global scale, AND THEY STILL chose the one guy because he meant that damn much to them.

- Yjh misunderstanding Sangja and going, "You have a woman you l o v e" and shitittt

- That scene where yjh met btsss and just immediately ran away

- kyrgios and ngmy being exes. bro wanted a giant woman (allll you wanna do. is see me turn intooooo) and got the giantest. other bro w wanted a short king and got the shortest. they took height difference to the extreme.

- ljh calling ngmy "Grand-Master" LIKE GRANDMA BC SHE WAS YJH'S MASTER AWWDUSHDEHA

- Yoo Hosung (Reincarnator Island Fable-Control Guy) being ljh's "Great-Grand-Master" LIKE GREAT-GRANDPA BC HE TAUGHT NGMY WHO TAUGHT YJH (and also kyrgios)

- The pebble story being actually relevant ('The stone and I')

- Uriel. Archangel Uriel is a fucking nerd. Kdj is her little meow-meow

- Metatron and Agares just scheming in the great war of saints and demons like little schemers

[whoredmode]

A DUBIOUSLY ACCURATE HISTORY OF STILWATER (& STEELPORT)

So if it’s not obvious by the obnoxiously long post I’ve made talking about the musical history of Stilwater, I’m fascinated by the worldbuilding of Saints Row. And in my quest of learning more about the setting of the series, I’ve pieced together my own headcanons on the general history of the city…and its cousin, Steelport. I’ve spent the last several days going over canonical histories of both cities, primarily Stilwater as it was my original goal, and put together my own ideas of how I think the cities developed prior to the start of the games in 2006. Some of this is based on actual canon evidence, other stuff is just my own conclusions. 

CANON TIMELINE

1783

Knight Plaza is founded, predating the founding of Stilwater itself

1787

Pennsylvania becomes a state

Unspecified year in the 1800s

Stilwater founded

1827

Steelport founded

1837

Michigan becomes a state

1940

Stilwater builds a new sewer system

Post-1940: An earthquake strikes Stilwater

1947

Sunset Park is built in Steelport

1970s

Vice Kings VS Los Carnales. Assumedly mid-to-late 70s into early 80s

1977: Stilwater is voted the most family-friendly city

MAPPING THINGS OUT

So it’s never exactly stated where Stilwater and Steelport are located comparatively. We know they’re in the Rust Belt, and Stilwater is expressly stated to be in Michigan. I’m inclined to say the cities are fairly close to each other (Stilwater in Michigan while Steelport is probably closer to Pennsylvania), probably several hours by car, if only because of similarities in industry, aesthetics, and even a few moments in-game. It can be fairly easily implied that the cities are within several hours driving distance of each other (my guesstimate is 7-8 hours away by car); especially given that in the beginning of SRTT they are able to land in Steelport so quickly despite assumedly not even being in the plane for more than an hour before they blow it up. 

TIMING THINGS OUT

The Stilwater Church is a gothic style church, assumedly a product of the gothic revival in the mid-1800s. Given that Steelport was founded in 1827, I’d say Stilwater was founded around this time as well, potentially ~1830. It was an unused territory for several years and did not get further development until after Michigan’s statehood was granted in 1837. 

I believe, given the architecture of Old Stilwater and the architecture of older buildings in Steelport, that both cities had a huge economic boom starting in the 1920s and had a period of growth and expansion. I’d say things were looking up for Stilwater going into the 1940s and 50s, but the earthquake sent the city into a really bad place economically. Worth noting that Steelport did not seem to be affected by the earthquake or tremors, which allowed it to continue to prosper while Stilwater tried to pick up its broken pieces.

Let’s go back a little into the 1800s, after Stilwater’s founding. I believe some time in the late 1830s/early 1840s, private railways were laid nearby to Stilwater, but the area itself would not get connected to the mainland of Michigan by rails until around the 1850s. Initially it was being used as a place for manufacturing, but wealthy people with railroad money saw the potential for a resort area. We’ll get into that in a moment.

Stilwater clearly had some manufacturing business as evidenced by the factories and boatyards, but I don’t think it ever reached the level of industry as Steelport did. Steelport also had the advantage of being founded a few years earlier. We know canonically that Stilwater has a steel factory and an oil refinery. I believe the steel factory is a minimill specifically, given its small size and the junkyard nearby; this means it uses scrap metal in its steel production. I’d date the mill around the 1890s but with several updates through the years until it was ultimately shut down. The oil refinery was probably built around the 1950s or 60s given its look, though it still appears to be somewhat operational? You can still see plumes coming out of the towers.

I know the Carnales own it, but I don't think they're necessarily refining oil or even using it as a cover for something; I think they’re getting profits from it and protecting it. From what I can tell the oil refinery may be the only factory still in actual operation, as the steel mill is just being used for the Carnales’ arms dealing. 

So where does that leave Old Stilwater’s actual primary industry? If it’s not steel factories like Steelport, and the oil refinery didn’t come into being until around the mid-20th century, what did the city do? All throughout Stilwater there’s old, decommissioned railway tracks.

Parts of them were obviously meant for more general transportation of products, as evidenced by the tracks near the factories, but others follow the slightly newer, raised tracks of the transit system. This implies that at one point, Stilwater had a need for moving people into and out of the city. Given that the tracks also led to a nice hotel at one point (the hotel underground in SR2), there was clearly a market for people getting around to some sort of entertainment and/or hospitality.

Which leads me to my theory/headcanon/whatever that Stilwater, starting in the late 1800s and into the early 20th century, had a nice trolley park and was known mostly for its entertainment. This became its primary source of revenue. 

For starters, all throughout SR2, there is talk about returning Stilwater to former glory, and tourism is obviously its most booming industry at that point in the series, so this seems to imply that it was known for tourism at one point. Stilwater itself has such a heavy emphasis on pleasure in the first two games, so it feels as if that’s always been a part of itself. Even just the fact that a record label was able to start and flourish there says that there is an entertainment scene in Stilwater and it’s a core part of its identity. Not to mention it being voted a family-friendly city in the late 70s, a point where it looked as if it might’ve started to recover from its post-earthquake troubles, further implies that there was a family-friendly image it kinda had. I think the idea of it being a trolley park in the late 1800s and into the 1900s makes a lot of sense. Stilwater itself is quite picturesque, and trolley parks began because of the rise in popularity of picnics. Families and friends went out to the nice waterside area of Stilwater, and suddenly there’s a need for more direct lines into and out of the area; next thing you know there’s new entertainment being constructed so more and more people want to come in. This all follows a pretty clear line in terms of what’s in Stilwater.

Trolley parks went out of fashion with the rise of amusement parks in the 1920s, and though Stilwater doesn’t have an amusement park, I believe Stilwater went in the direction of building venues for things like cabaret, bars, and brothels. It ended up leaning more heavily on adult entertainment, which makes sense given how it looks at the start of the series. Stilwater became synonymous with pleasure, even if it was starting to shy away from the more all-ages entertainment it had in the 19th century.  

So by the 1930s, 40s, and 50s, Stilwater was an extremely popular destination. It had great entertainment, beautiful hotels, and easy access to sex, drugs, and alcohol. All of this caught the attention of the Carnales, probably around the late 40s, and by the 1950s they began to have a hand in many of the institutions of Stilwater. 

One thing that caught my attention was a radio ad in SR1 in which Hughes says that his parents moved to Stilwater 50 years ago (so around 1956) and that, at the time, Stilwater was still a lively place. If we’re to assume the earthquake was the beginning of the end of Stilwater, we can easily guess that the earthquake either happened later that same year, or a year afterwards. With that in mind, around 1956-57, a huge earthquake hits Stilwater, razing most of the city. The place is in shambles, both physically and economically. That said, the Carnales are still expecting things like payments for their business, but now many people are unable to comply, having lost their means of income. In turn, the Carnales became a much larger, even more intimidating presence in Stilwater all throughout the rest of the 50s and 60s. 

Presumably at some point in the 1960s, a cult begins to form. People were seeking guidance and safety in the wake of such a huge natural disaster, and thus Philosotology began to take form. It stays relatively in the background for most of its life, but throughout the 60s, 70s, and 80s more and more people join, especially those in places of power. I won’t get too into the development of Philosotology, as this is about the more general history of Stilwater, but I would be remiss to not mention it. The point being, by the 80s and 90s, they’re running things from behind the scenes, to the point they’re just a staple of Stilwater come modern day.

As we move through the 20th century, the progression of the canon story takes form. In the 70s, Julius Little and Benjamin King—sick of the Carnales presence in Stilwater—decide to take back the city. So throughout the 70s, the Vice Kings and the Carnales fight, with the Vice Kings ultimately coming out on top. In the late 70s and early 80s, it seems as if Stilwater might return to former glory, as the birth of Kingdom Come Records helped revitalize the arts and music scene of the city. 

However, the economy of Stilwater does not recover. Generations of Stilwaterians have been hurt by decades of poverty, of negligence by those in power, and it is not the thriving coastal city it was in the early-to-mid 20th century. Obviously, these factors (and many more) contribute to how the events of the first game begin. 

A QUICK TANGENT ABOUT STEELPORT

So where does Steelport fit into all of this? I mentioned it at the start, so surely I must have something to say. 

Steelport was founded in 1827 in Pennsylvania. It was an industrial city, full of steel factories, and it stayed that way for many years. The city steadily grew over several decades, and around the turn of the century, a large number of people from Europe moved to Steelport for work. And it was around this time that the organized crime syndicates of Europe were beginning to take hold in Steelport. 

Fast forward to the 1970s. Phillipe Loren, a high-ranking member of the Syndicate in Belgium, had ties to several of the gangs that were now in Steelport, so he goes to the city himself to see if it’s worth a US expansion. Seemingly pleased, Loren uses his status to begin doing more work with the gangs in Steelport. By the late 80s, Loren had become head of the Syndicate.

It was also around this time in the 70s that I believe Steelport began to essentially fill the hole that was left after Stilwater was destroyed by the earthquake. There was a need for places like hotels, brothels, and casinos in this area of the Rust Belt—and Steelport, being flush with cash, was able to fill that demand. In Steelport’s later years, it became more of an icon of sin and pleasure, perhaps even more than Stilwater was. It was bigger and flashier. But despite its hedonistic charm, Steelport was not exactly heading in a great direction by the 90s. 

Similarly to Stilwater, it fell on hard times economically, with many areas falling into disrepair. Many of these areas are still like this even into the modern day as poverty is still a very large issue within Steelport, though as usual is not a topic of concern for those in charge. Thus, the Syndicate very easily continues to spread its control. By the 2000s, Loren and the Syndicate are running the city. 

Getting a little ahead of my timeline, but worth talking about real quick: in 2011, Loren gets into contact with Maero about arms deals and potential expansion into Stilwater. At this point, Loren was already in bed with Ultor so to speak, but this was his first contact with one of the other gangs. Obviously this deal is hurt by the Saints, but that will only come back to bite them in a few years. 

CONCLUSION

I wanted to write some grand conclusion about all this, but to be honest my eyes are starting to glaze over from hours of running around in the first two games, reading documents on my computer, and scribbling four pages of written notes. I read some official Michigan documents on the history of the railway system in the state. I’ve never even been. What am I going to do with this knowledge now.

Stilwater is interesting and was worth a deep dive into the potential history of the area. I used to be the teaching assistant for a class on worldbuilding in college, so this type of shit is just super fascinating to me. And Stilwater has so many bits of scattered information that I really wanted to try to piece everything together in a mostly coherent way. It’s just a setting I really love for some personal reasons, and I just thought I’d give writing its history a shot. Perhaps in some ways like a love letter to the fictional city, or maybe just as a way to fill my long weekend. Who knows.

[musette22]

The Element of Surprise

Pairing: Chris Evans x Sebastian Stan (Evanstan)

Rating: Explicit (18+ only please)

Word count: 4.5k

Warnings: rough(er) sex, light degrading language, light roleplay, light Dom/sub

A/N: AKA the long awaited mustache fic (awaited by no one but me, but still). I've had that little text convo at the beginning saved in my notes app for a long time, but I never quite knew how I wanted to follow it up. I still didn’t really know where I was going with this when I finally started writing it, but I should have known it would turn into filth. I’m not sorry, except to those of you who can't abide the 'stache (even though your opinion is wrong) <3 And btw, if you're thinking 'this reads like a bad porn flick', that is entirely intentional 😌 Hope you enjoy! Comments = love <3

****

C: be there in 30

S: I'll put a beer in the freezer

C: I love you

S: I know

S: love you too

C: and seb, just

C: don't laugh ok

S: huh?

S: why would I laugh

C: you'll see

S: ?? what does that mean?

C: be there soon 😘

Sebastian huffs, leaving his phone on the couch as he heads into his kitchen and pulls open the pantry door.

He doesn’t drink enough beer to permanently keep his fridge stocked with the stuff, and while Chris does love his beer (understatement), he’s trying to cut back. Or at least not to drink on weeknights. Too much. But since tonight is Friday and they have a whole weekend ahead of them in which they’ll be doing nothing but relaxing, ordering pizza, and watching movies, Sebastian figures they can start indulging a little early. He grabs a couple of beers from the bottom shelf, sticking them in the freezer to chill, so Chris will come home to a cold beer later.

As he returns to the living room and stretches out on the couch, bag of potato chips in hand, it occurs to Sebastian just how domestic it all feels. The thought makes him smile.

He’s never been very good at domesticity, which it’s why it’s even more surprising how much he likes it, this time around. He knows he shouldn’t get too used to having Chris in his space, he does, but it’s just too nice not to want to soak it up and roll around in it every chance he gets. The prospect of Chris staying at his place for longer than just a weekend makes something warm and giddy fizz in the pit of his stomach. It’s addictive.

For the next few months, Chris will be on stage every night in his first ever Broadway play, and for the duration of its run, he’ll be staying in New York.

Officially, Chris is renting a swanky place in Tribeca.

Unofficially, he’s staying with Sebastian at his tiny SoHo apartment.

The fact that Sebastian lives in New York played at least some part in Chris’s decision to do a Broadway play this year. They were both tired of only seeing each other whenever one of them could take a few days off to visit the other (under the radar, of course). Already, Chris spending an extended period of time in New York has done their relationship a world of good.

Things are good. Easy. If he’s being honest with himself, Sebastian can’t remember the last time he felt so content.

Since coming to New York, Chris has been going to rehearsals every weekday. Sebastian has sometime off in between projects, and he’s set to attend the premiere of Lobby Hero this Monday – ostensibly as an interested co-star, secretly in the capacity of supportive boyfriend. He can’t wait to see Chris shine on stage. Chris is nervous as hell, to the point where he’s wondered if blowing the whole thing off wouldn’t be better than letting everyone down, but there’s no doubt in Sebastian’s mind that he’ll knock it out of the park. Chris is a lot better than he gives himself credit for.

When a car door slams outside his apartment, Sebastian sits up, brushing the crumbs off his sweater – a soft, light blue one that Chris says brings out his eyes. When he darts a look out the window, Chris’s cab is just driving off. The man himself is keeping his head down, so all Sebastian can see is the top of the baseball cap he’s wearing.

Curious now, Sebastian gets up to greet Chris. Less than a minute later, the door to Sebastian’s apartment opens, Chris walks in, looks up, and –

Sebastian chokes on air.

The sound that leaves him is one he’s never heard himself make before; something high and squeaky and extremely embarrassing.

“Don’t,” Chris says instantly, a warning in his voice.

Sebastian gapes at him.

“You have a mustache,” he says faintly, once he’s remembered how to talk.

“Yep.” Chris lifts a hand to his face, fiddling with said mustache. “It’s for the role.”

Distantly, Sebastian registers he sounds a little off, and that’s when he finally notices the hint of apprehension in Chris’s eyes. Just the smallest glint of poorly concealed uncertainty.

Chris is worried, Sebastian realizes with a start.

Worried that Sebastian will laugh at him. That Sebastian might not find him attractive anymore.

Well. No need to worry about that, apparently.

Because for some unholy reason, that thing on Chris’s upper lip – big and bushy and only about half an inch on either side removed from being a handlebar mustache – is currently making Sebastian want to climb him like a fucking tree.

Not that he doesn’t normally want to do that, but urge is suddenly more intense than usual. By about three hundred and twelve percent.

“You look…”

“Ridiculous?” Chris supplies, self-deprecating as always. “Like my dad? A 70s porn star?”

“You look hot.” Sebastian doesn’t quite mean to blurt it out like that, but he does anyway. And. Well. That’s out there now.

Chris’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise. “I – what?”

“Fuck,” Sebastian breathes. He runs a shaky hand through his short hair, trying to gather his thoughts. “Look, I don’t know what this says about me, but uh. I am like, really fucking attracted to you right now. Even more than usual, I mean.”

For a long moment, Chris looks at him as if he’s crazy, or maybe like he’s waiting for the other shoe to drop, but once it becomes clear that Sebastian isn’t joking (if only he were), Chris’s expression turns into one of tentative amusement.

“You’re serious,” he says, taking a step closer. Keeping his eyes fixed on Sebastian’s face, he carefully runs his thumb and forefinger over the mustache in a gesture that kind of makes him look like he’s up to no good. “You like it?”

Sebastian swallows. “Uh-huh.”

“Didn’t know you had a thing for guys with mustaches.”

“Neither did I.” Sebastian takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. “I think it might even just be you.”

“Oh, really?” Chris asks, some of his usual cheek returning now that he realizes he isn’t going to get laughed at. Far from it, in fact. “Huh. What do you like about it?”

“Um,” Sebastian says, swallowing as Chris steps closer. Oh Christ, it’s even worse up close. Or better, depending how you look at it. And Sebastian is looking at it. Can’t tear his eyes away from it, actually. “It. Uh - it makes you look…”

Several words flit, unbidden, through Sebastian’s mind, each one worse than the last. Macho. Authoritative. Mean.

“…good,” he finishes lamely.

Worryingly, Chris’s smile grows into a full-blown grin, and Sebastian’s skin erupts into goosebumps.

Oh, no. Sometimes Sebastian really wishes Chris didn’t know him as well as he does.

Though when Chris takes off his baseball cap, tossing it onto the hallway table, Sebastian hisses. “Ah, okay. The hair is kinda bad.”

Chris snorts, running his fingers through the spiky strands. “Right? I look like an asshole.”

“Little bit.”

Chris gives him a calculating look. “So… does that mean the effect is ruined?”

Sebastian takes a moment to consider this. “I mean, it’s objectively bad, but…” he trails off. Ugh, he really should be used to this by now, but on some level Sebastian still can’t believe that Chris can make literally any look work for him. So annoying. “…no. Not ruined. Sadly.”

Reassured, Chris slowly starts to advance on him. With every step that Chris takes forward, Sebastian takes one back, until his heels hit the wall of his hallway. He holds his breath, feeling like a bunny rabbit about to be eaten by a wolf, though presumably a little more turned on than said bunny rabbit would be at the prospect.

Stopping right in front of him, Chris leans in, placing his hands against the wall on either side of Sebastian’s shoulders.

“Hey, good lookin’,” Chris says, his breath ghosting Sebastian’s left ear. Sebastian shivers with his entire body – something which doesn’t escape Chris’s notice, and makes the grin turn into a smirk. “You come here often?”

Despite how turned on he’s rapidly getting, Sebastian snorts. “Yeah, I’d say so.”

Chris hums. “Funny how I haven’t seen you here before, then.”

“I have been saying you should get an eye test. You’ve been squinting a lot more lately.”

“Seb,” Chris huffs, fighting a smile. “C’mon, I’m tryin’ something here.”

“Right, sorry.” Sebastian clears his throat. “I, uh. I haven’t seen you before either.” Licking his lips, he adds, “Would’ve noticed if I had.”

“You would, huh? And why’s that?”

“Well, see…” Sebastian’s eyes drop to Chris’s mouth. Specifically, his upper lip situation. “It’s the mustache. Kinda hard to miss.”

Chris raises one eyebrow. “You know what else is hard?” he asks lewdly, rolling his hips.

Sebastian can’t stop himself – he lets out a helpless peal of laughter, throwing his head back and making it collide with the wall. He barely notices it, because the next thing he knows, Chris is on him, kissing up his throat and oh hello, okay, that feels weird. Good, but weird. He can’t even say why exactly it feels weird, since Chris’s beard used to tickle too, but somehow, when it’s just the ‘stache without the rest of it, it tickles more than it used to. Feels way more bristly like this.

Under Chris demanding mouth, Sebastian’s laugh morphs into a moan, and he slides down the wall a fraction, pressing into Chris and baring his neck a little further. Chris’s teeth scrape over his Adam’s apple, one of his hands wandering over Sebastian’s chest and squeezing at a pec.

“Sir,” Sebastian says, breathlessly scandalized. “Wh- what are you doing?”

“Just takin’ what I want.” Chris pulls back to look Sebastian in the eye, grabbing his chin between his thumb and forefinger. “You got a problem with that, sweetheart?”

Sebastian gulps, blinking hard. “No, sir.”

“That’s what I thought,” Chris leers, leaning in to bite at Sebastian’s bottom lip and pulling at it with his teeth. At the same time, he runs his left hand down Sebastian’s side and abs, all the way down until it slips between his legs. He cups the growing hardness there, giving it a firm squeeze.

“Oh, fuck,” Sebastian breathes, hands flying up to Chris’s waist.

“How’s that feel, honey? You like that?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Yeah? You want me to keep touching you?”

“Yes.” Another mean squeeze. “Yes, please,” Sebastian amends quickly.

“How sweet.” Chris palms Sebastian’s dick again, tight and warm and so good, before abruptly pulling back his hand, leaving Sebastian to whimper and buck his hips. “Well, that’s tough, sweetheart,” Chris tells him, “‘cause you’re not gettin’ anything else till I decide you’ve earned it.”

Before Sebastian even has time to process that, Chris spins them around so that Chris is the one with his back against the wall, and then roughly pushes Sebastian down to his knees with a big hand on his shoulder.

Sebastian moans; a little for show, and a little because he genuinely likes being pushed around a bit. Usually, though, it takes Chris a lot longer to let go liken this. It tends to happen only when he’s getting close and his all he blood in his brain has relocated to his dick, but now, it seems that a little bit of clumsy role-play also does the trick.

Whatever it is, Sebastian thinks, he’ll be damned if he lets an opportunity like this pass him by.

Resting his hands on Chris thighs, Sebastian eagerly leans in to nuzzle at his crotch, mouthing at the hardening outline of his dick through his jeans. Chris hisses, hand scrabbling at Sebastian’s hair, trying to find purchase before seeming to realize that Sebastian’s hair is too short to grab right now (and doesn’t that make Sebastian suddenly regret cutting it immensely) and resorting to putting a hand over Sebastian’s face and just pushing him away instead.

“Did I say you could do that?” Chris’s asks. His usually easy voice is now laced with something dark, something almost menacing, sending a shiver down Sebastian’s spine.

He swallows hard, his throat suddenly dry, dick perking up eagerly inside his sweats. “No, sir. Sorry.”

“Damn right,” Chris mutters. “You’ll get it when I give it to you. Now, are you gonna be good for me?”

Sebastian sucks in a shaky breath. Goddamn.

“Are you?” Chris repeats, tapping Sebastian’s cheek to prompt him.

“Yeah,” Sebastian nods, a little dazed. “Yeah, I’ll be good.” He watches, fascinated, as Chris’s right hand deftly flicks open the button on his jeans, before slowly pulling down his zipper, inch by excruciating inch. Sebastian finds himself willing Chris to go faster, to let him see what he’s got in his pants, which is ridiculous, because Sebastian knows what Chris has got in his pants. He should, seeing as he’s sucked it plenty of times. But somehow, what they’re doing here feels all kinds of new and exciting. Makes his breath come faster, eyes glued to the bulge in Chris’s jeans and mouth starting to water in anticipation.

Once his zip is down, Chris lowers his jeans a little, just enough so he can comfortably cup his dick, giving himself a teasing squeeze. “You want this?”

Sebastian tears his eyes away from it and looks up at Chris, who’s looking down at him with a sardonic smile on his face.

“Yes, please,” Sebastian says, feeling his eyes go big and round almost of their own volition.

Chris groans quietly, stroking Sebastian’s cheek with the backs of his fingers. “Look at you. Such a pretty guy.” A devilish glint appears in his eyes as he adds, “Be a shame if something got you all dirty, wouldn’t it?”

Oh, jesus.

While Sebastian can’t do anything but watch uselessly, Chris takes himself out of his underwear, pulling down his boxers enough to hook the waistband under his balls but otherwise remaining fully clothed. His dick is all the way hard already, flushed that pretty shade of pink Sebastian loves so much, wetness pearling at the exposed tip. Sebastian’s mouth literally waters so much he needs to swallow. Once again, he leans in to try and get his mouth on Chris, and once again Chris pushes him back with an admonishing hand to the face.

“Now, now. Don’t be greedy.”

Sebastian huffs impatiently behind Chris’s palm. “Please.”

Chris chuckles, taking hold of Sebastian’s chin again and running the pad of his thumb over Sebastian’s bottom lip. Sebastian doesn’t waste any time in letting his mouth drop open, something thrilling inside of him when Chris slides his thumb between his lips and presses down on his tongue. Sebastian closes his lips around the digit, moaning softly as he suckles at it. It’s not quite what he wants, but it’s still part of Chris inside of him, and he’ll take what he can get.

Sebastian is all set to protest again when Chris pulls his finger out, but before he can say anything, Chris shuts him right back up again by taking his cock in hand and literally rubbing it in Sebastian’s face.

Sebastian makes a shocked noise, eyes fluttering closed and mouth going slack. He moans, louder than before, and it’s not for show this time. Not even a little bit. Fire licks up his spine, his dick giving a desperate twitch inside his sweats. Fuck, but that’s hot. It’s downright filthy, the way the wetness leaking from Chris’s dick feels on his clean-shaven cheeks. Makes him feel dirty and owned, helpless, desperate for it.

“Open up,” Chris tells him, tapping his cheek. “Stick out your tongue.”

Sebastian does, and then--  Chris puts his dick on it. Just rests it there, not moving. Like he has all the time in the world. Oh, god.

“Stay still.”

Sebastian tries – he tries so hard to keep still, to be good and wait until Chris tells him he can move, but his tongue seems to have a mind of its own, rubbing lightly along the underside of Chris’s cock. The action causes it to spurt out some precome, which drips down his throat, making Sebastian swallow involuntarily. If asked, he���d swear he doesn’t shut his mouth on purpose, but if his lips closing around Chris’s shaft happens to make Chris groan and push in deeper, then that’s just a happy side effect.

“Suck it.” Chris’s voice has gone all low and rough now – and the order should sound stupid, like something out of a bad porn flick, but then this whole thing is kind of like a bad porn flick. And while that would usually be a turn off, right now, it’s setting Sebastian on fucking fire.

“I said, suck it,” Chris repeats, when Sebastian doesn’t obey right away, and presses in deeper, a little rough with it.

Sebastian jolts into action, moaning feverishly as he starts to suck Chris off as if his life depends on it. He uses his left hand, his tongue, his lips, and choking a little when he takes Chris too deep in one go –

And then suddenly, he’s being pushed back again.

Sebastian whines.

“Easy, tiger,” Chris clucks, a little condescending despite his breathlessness. “I said suck it, not slobber all over it like some horny teen that’s never seen a dick before.”

The rejection stings, but it’s a good sting; one that makes the back of Sebastian’s neck burn hot and his dick strain almost painfully against the material of his pants.

“You know,” Chris continues, rubbing the tip of his cock over Sebastian’s slick lips, almost absent-mindedly. “If you can’t control yourself, I’m gonna have to do it for you.” Not waiting for a reply, Chris grabs the back of Sebastian’s sweater and uses it to hold him in place. The neck of it strains against Sebastian’s throat when he tries to lean forward, causing him to draw in a raspy breath. “Is that what you want?”

“Yes,” Sebastian whispers. He’s not sure if that’s the right answer, but it’s the honest answer, and the only one he’s got right now.

Chris shrugs. “Suit yourself.” Hooking his thumb over Sebastian’s bottom row of teeth, he pries his mouth open, forces his jaw down, and proceeds to feed his cock back into Sebastian’s mouth. And this time, he doesn’t stop until the head hits the back of his throat.

Despite having had a bit of practice, Sebastian’s gag reflex kicks in. He tries to swallows, and that makes Chris moan real pretty, so of course he does it again. Chris hips stutter and Sebastian’s eyelids flutter, and Chris pulls out before then sliding all the way back in again, over and over until Sebastian’s eyes start to water and his vision goes blurry.

When Chris tentatively thrusts in a little deeper still, a little rougher and less controlled, Sebastian lets out what is quite probably the most wanton sound he’s ever made.

“Ohh,” Chris muses, low and a little mean. “You like that, huh? Like it when you’re chokin’ on my dick? Yeah, ‘course you do, pretty little thing like you.”

Ho-ly-shit. They’re no strangers to a bit of dirty talk, but this… this feels different. It’s borderline degrading, what Chris is saying and doing, and Sebastian finds himself going wild for it.

Who knew.

Undoubtedly noticing Sebastian’s reaction, Chris does it again, pushing in deep and holding there until Sebastian starts to splutter. “Take it, all of it,” Chris orders, sounding almost unaffected. “Thought you wanted it, huh? C’mon, open wider. Yeah, that’s it.”

Feeling hot all over, Sebastian does his best to do what is asked of him. He opens his throat and relaxes as best he can, breathing harshly through his nose while he takes what Chris is giving him. He honestly might come in his pants any minute now, just from this. Chris’s cock is hard and heavy on his tongue, dripping down his throat, his familiar, musky scent everywhere, clouding Sebastian’s brain with screaming lust. One big hand rests heavy on Sebastian’s shoulder, fingers digging almost painfully into his trapezius muscle, and Sebastian’s knees hurt, and his jaw hurts, and he’s sore, and he’s gonna be even more sore later, but right now, he doesn’t care.

He feels good, amazing even. The only thing that’s missing now is seeing Chris fall apart. He wants Chris to come so badly, more so even than he wants to come himself, that he can feel it all the way down in his toes.

He doesn’t notice that his cheeks are wet until Chris brings up a hand to wipe at the tear tracks, meanwhile keeping up the relentless rhythm of his hips, steadily pumping in and out.

“Hey.”

Sebastian turns his eyes up, meeting Chris dark and heated gaze, misty through the tears. For a split second, Chris looks at him like himself, quickly cataloguing Sebastian’s condition, before seeming to decide they’re still on the same page. His eyes turn mean again, and Sebastian’s already racing heart skips a beat.

Chris coos then, a soft aaww which makes Sebastian feel equal parts cherished and pathetic. “Should see yourself, honey. Cryin’ and drooling all over my cock…” Chris thumbs at the corner of Sebastian’s mouth, wet with a mixture of spit and tears and Chris’s slick. “Jesus, you’re a mess.”

The words are condescending, but Chris’s voice sounds awed despite himself, and Sebastian is lit up with it from the inside out. He can tell Chris is getting close. Can hear it in his breathing, feel it from the way his thrusts get sloppier and rougher, dick occasionally slipping out and rubbing against Sebastian’s cheek before making its home in his eager mouth again.

“Oh, that’s it, baby,” Chris groans, fingers tightening impossibly on Sebastian’s shoulder. “Gonna make me come. Shit.”

Sebastian moans, letting Chris know how much he wants that, willing him to go faster.

Chris curses again, breathless now, heavy lidded eyes locked on Sebastian’s. “So close, f-fuck. Gonna come all over that pretty face, baby. Ahh, fuck yeah.”

Chris thrusts in deeply one last time, his mouth dropping open. Sebastian feels the first spurt of his release hit the back of his throat, before Chris hastily pulls out and lets the rest of it spill on Sebastian’s face. Come hits his cheeks, his nose, drips down into his mouth, warm and wet and Chris. It’s accompanied by an acute sense of accomplishment, making Sebastian feel boneless and sated, like he’s the one who just blew his load.

As if his strings have been cut, Chris slumps, sliding down the wall until he’s sitting on the floor. His eyes, still a little wild with the remnants of his ecstasy, roam over Sebastian’s face, wide like he can’t quite believe what he’s seeing.

“Jesus fucking Christ,” he breathes, grabbing Sebastian’s head between his hands and kissing him, deep and filthy. His tongue pushes in, hot and demanding, licking the taste of himself out of Sebastian’s slack mouth. The mustache is rough against Sebastian’s face. It stings a little, and Sebastian relishes it.

Abruptly, Chris breaks the kiss only to pull him closer, practically into his lap. Sebastian is mostly boneless at this point, except for the bit between his legs, so he lets himself be pulled and arranged like a ragdoll until he’s sandwiched between Chris’s spread thighs.

Chris’s hand fumbles with the drawstring on Sebastian’s sweats, sticking a hand down his pants. When his fingers wrap around his aching dick, Sebastian nearly sobs with relief. He hadn’t even realized how desperate for release he was, too focused on Chris’s pleasure to even register his own need, but now that Chris is touching him, finally touching him, the need to come slams into him like a freight train. The angle is awkward, and Sebastian has trouble breathing because his throat hurts and Chris is still trying to sucking his face off, but it doesn’t matter. He is so on edge that after only a few strokes, he cries out and shoots off all over Chris’s hand. He buries his face in Chris’s neck, mouth open and slack against the warm skin beneath Chris’s ear, while he rides out the aftershocks.

Christ, that was good.

An indeterminate amount of time later, Chris starts rubbing circles over Sebastian’s back. It’s a calming gesture, soothing. Apologetic. “You okay?” he asks quietly. “Did I hurt you?”

Sebastian takes stock of his body. He’s sore as hell, but it’s a good kind of sore. Nothing hurts, in the bad sense of the word. “I’m okay,” he slurs, only it comes out more like, “Mmmhfgk.”

“You sure?” Chris presses. “‘Cause I – I got a little carried away there. Fuck, I didn’t even check if that was okay, I’m sorry.”

Sebastian scoffs, lifting his head. If there’s one thing Sebastian is certain of, it’s that Chris would have stopped immediately if Sebastian had given even the slightest indication that he wasn’t having a good time. He fixes Chris with a hard look – or at least, as hard as he’s capable of in his post-orgasmic state. “Did I look like it wasn’t okay? That was so hot, Chris. It was like, maximum okay.”

Chris makes a sound, reaching up to wipe at Sebastian’s cheeks with his sleeve. “Jesus, Seb.” He still looks a little stunned, wide-eyed and red-cheeked. The mustache makes him look a little dumb, and Sebastian really does kind of love it.

He lifts a finger, gently stroking it over the bristly hairs.

“Thanks for making me feel better about this thing,” Chris says, his eyes back to being soft and loving now.

Sebastian shakes his head. “My pleasure, believe me. I mean, I’m a little concerned about myself, but I’m glad it stopped you worrying.”

“I wasn’t worried.”

“’Course not,” Sebastian replies, patting Chris’s chest.

They sit there for a moment, catching their breath and allowing their minds to unmuddle themselves.

Suddenly, Sebastian jolts upright. “Oh, shit.”

Chris is on instant alert, gaze sharpening as he takes Sebastian in from head to toe. “What is it?” he asks, obviously assuming Sebastian has suddenly discovered that Chris did hurt him after all. “What’s wrong?”

“Your beer.”

Chris blinks at him. “My beer?”

“It’s still in the freezer. It’s only supposed to be in there for like, fifteen minutes tops.”

Chris rolls his eyes. “Fuck the beer,” he says, pulling Sebastian back into his chest.

“But what if it explodes and ruins my freezer?”

“I’ll buy you a new freezer, jeez. Dork.”

“Hey,” Sebastian scolds mildly. “Don’t forget I’m the dork who just made you come your brains out.”

“Trust me,” Chris says, leaning in to kiss him again. “I’m not forgetting that any time soon.”

Read on AO3

[fictionkinfessions]

In response to

https://www.tumblr.com/fictionkinfessions/763632922895040513/fandom-this-post-is-about-persona-%EF%BC%95?source=share

I normally do not respond to vent posts whatsoever, purely due to the fact that I hardly ever know what to say or due to the fear that the individual does not want responses. But I'm pulling out the notes app for this one. Do not feel the need to respond to this whatsoever. Do not force yourself too. I don't want to be the reason you exert yourself any further than you already have. Please take further time to rest, I hope all your exams go well and happy early birthday.<3

I get it. I really do. I won't say that I'm in the same situation as you are, simply because I'm likely not and there's likely way more going on in your life now that you haven't spoken of. But I do believe I'm in a highly similar one.

If you don't take anything other than one thing from this then at least take this statement. You are worth so much more than you think you think you are. You always have been, and you always will be. You don't have to be a good person. You don't have to constantly give yourself to other people. Hell, that may sound very selfish of me to say that, but truthfully I know how it is to constantly take away from yourself in order for the gain of other people. Please don't ever put yourself or let anyone put you under the impression that your only purpose in life is to help and improve others lives. Because it's not.

It's perfectly okay to dislike people for whatever reasons. You don't need to have some set of reasons. There's not a rulebook in place for what all you can dislike people for. You can't force yourself to like someone. That's just not how it works.

To be frank with you, sorry about my language, but life is pretty fucking difficult. Especially when you throw in social aspects, work, and just living in general (in this economy?!? sorry.). But truthfully it gets better. It may take a while. It may be a short period of time where it does get better then immediately decreases again. That's okay. Never fault yourself with that. It's inevitable that it happens. What's important is that you keep going on. And with “purpose”, genuinely, I think purpose is a thing you make for yourself. I don't believe in the existence of a being that decks out people their purposes and assigns them it before they're born. People have multiple purposes. You don't need to have this one major overbearing one. You can have smaller ones. You don't necessarily have to be useful either. Nobody needs to be useful. Nobody needs to have an explicit purpose/purposes (the grammars messed up, dw about it.). Everyone's good at something, even if you cannot see it for yourself.

In the end, you just need to see the world. In both its beauty and it's ugly features. That sounds really stupid, I'm writing this and I'm cringing right now. But, I'll leave it in because you deserve authenticity. You deserve the world in fact. And I'm sorry this is how you're treated by it.

This does conclude a lot of what I wanted to say, I apologise if any part makes no sense or if I misunderstood any portion of what you said, it's 1am here as I'm writing this and I needed to write this down now before I forgot what I was going to say. I'm not a motivational speaker by any means, but I suppose this was my best attempt at it. Please take this whole thing in the best way possible as I did not mean to be mean or upsetting in any way, I'm just horrible with tone through text and texting in general.

Alla prossima. (Italian for “until next time”, not sure if you're supposed to actually go and use this over text, but I'm slowly learning bits and pieces of Italian and some others.)

-Akechi Goro

P.S. (I would call it side notes, but that's your thing not mine)

Seriously, if things get too stressful, this goes for anyone reading this whole thing, not sure if you already do it, but try meditation. Might not work for everyone or everything, and it might not work immediately, but I do believe it to help on some levels. I'm also not a medical professional so don't quote me of all people on that.

(This whole thing is just me telling you what I wish anyone in my family would have told me like, a few weeks ago, so I might be slightly projecting. Just for the record. Not good at telling when I am or not.)

x

[rafestify]

Hi! I was wondering how long it took you to start getting good notes on your work… I’ve been writing a couple of months now and I’m so proud of my stuff and I’m just struggling to get it noticed. Some gets 100-400 notes but over a certain period. I just started something else and it’s gotten 70 notes in the past 12 hrs. I think it’s gonna be really beautiful too. I think I’ve been a little hard on myself lately, just overwhelmed with a lot of things but this is an outlet where I wanted to build a community and people love the work I do. (Please don’t think I just wanna be “famous” 😭)

I know I’m just working myself up but I was wondering your timeline.

hii babe! first of all, ive been on this app since like what 2018??? but then i started posting and writing actively a month ago and i had like only 10 followers because i never posted anything on this acc before. my notes were always around 100-200 ish at first, and then it grew to like 400 ish and now the fact that the two lines fic is nearly at 2k notes was nooottt on my list. i think u should post when the others are active, i usually post around 10am ish (us time) which is 10 pm in my country, and i think to gain a lot of notes, the mostttt important thing is using tags (i mean like a bunchhh offff taaaggss) for example, i always use the #rafe cameron, #rafe cameron imagine, #rafe cameron x reader, etc. basically just use a lot of tags that match with your content. secondly, i also think it's pretty hard to be recognized here, at first i also struggled to gain notes and mutuals but by posting regularly, it also helped me to get out of the 'flop' zone (iykwim) OH ALSO INTERACT WITH OTHER PPL'S POST like comment on their posts, like, or just follow them because i always follow those kind of account back. fyi, i also made an account for someone else like in 2022 and it flopped so bad, so i stopped posting. but then i created this account and it's much better than before, so i think you just have to keep posting regularly anon, just dont stop trying :)) ahhh alsoo don't be hard on yourselffff just remind yourself that you're doing this all for funn 💓🙌 i hope this helps! (sorry its a bit too long :v) also let's be moots anon, i'd love to be friends and see ur amazing works :) 😉