#and I just want to know that if I can't work I'll have the money to pay bills and thats why I don't ever buy myself anything

[nobodyfamousposts]

Missing Sneak Peak (SUBJECT TO CHANGE)

The truth is out about Marinette's predicament, and to everyone's surprise, Chloe calls Ladybug:

"I need a favor."

It was a standoff.

Ladybug had faced down akumas, false heroes, monsters of man and magic, and even Hawk Moth himself. And not once had she ever backed down or given up.

But Chloe Bourgeois was nothing if not stubborn. She was long used to getting what she wanted.

And she wasn't going to let something as simple as facing an opponent with a mask and superpowers deter her.

“Look, I worked with you before. That has to mean something, right? I helped you before! Against my Dad and against Hawk Moth on Heroes Day! You…you owe me.”

Ladybug looked unimpressed. “The Miraculous do not entitle you to anything, Chloe.”

“No, hear met out!” Chloe insisted. “You trusted me to help you. And I did! I put my life on the line as your teammate. So…so that warrants something, doesn’t it? I deserve something! A wish. An ask. Just one request.”

The hero frowned. But Chloe was undeterred.

“So look, just…bring her back already. Bring back Marinette Dupain-Cheng and every stupidly good and positive thing she brings with her, and I’ll…I don’t know. I’ll find some way to return the favor.”

Ladybug simply stared at her. Blank. Unfeeling.

“I can pay you! Even superheroes need money, right?”

“Chloe….”

“I’ll be better! No more akumas, I promise!”

“Chloe.”

“I’ll be nicer! I’ll stop bugging my Dad for things and stop causing problems!”

“That's not—h”

“I'll donate my wardrobe to charity!”

“I can't just—"

“I’ll stop making comments to my classmates! I’ll just shut up completely! I’ll get voice surgery if I have to!”

“Chloe, that’s not how it works—”

“NO! It HAS to work!” She shouted, cutting her off. Because she refused—she refused to accept any other answer. “You’re Ladybug! You always make it work! So you can just make this work, too!”

Silence.

“Please.” Chloe begged. “This is the one good thing I have. I don’t want to—I can’t give it up!”

Ladybug simply looked at her, almost pityingly.

“Please." Chloe repeated. "Just this one thing. That's all.”

Ladybug simply shook her head, leaving Chloe feeling hollow.

And without even a word, Ladybug turned away.

Chloe just stared after her in shock.

Because Ladybug was Ladybug. A hero. THE hero. Always there. Always helpful. Always caring.

So why…?

Why didn’t she care now?

Then…

…it hit her.

And Chloe laughed.

How could she not?

“Of course.“ She laughed mournfully. “Of course she had gotten to you too.”

Because of course even Ladybug would be different.

Because of course if anyone could have helped make a Ladybug into the great hero she was today, it would be Marinette Dupain-Cheng.

----------------------------------------

“Chloe?" Adrien called out as he entered her room, worried and unsure. "Is everything okay? You were crying on the phone and…”

He froze, seeing Chloe curled up next to her Bee signal.

“Chloe?”

She didn’t move or answer immediately. He was worried she didn’t even realize he was there, given how blankly she seemed to be staring into nothing.

“Chloe?” He asked as he approached.

Silence.

Unsure of what else to do, he sat next to her and waited.

Chloe had gotten like this before. A long, long time ago.

She would have these times where she'd get quiet and small. And he would sit next to her, just barely touching. Close enough that she'd know he was there and could decide from there if she wanted to lean on him or push away. He always left it up to her. Always waited. Because Chloe never pushed him away. And with enough time, she would voice her feelings, just loud enough that he could hear.

...and sure enough...

“My Mom forgot my name today.” She whispered.

Adrien paused.

He knew how much that had to hurt her. Chloe’s Mother was everything to her. Everything she idolized and admired. Everything she wanted and wanted to be. He’d never seen her happier than when her Mom settled back in Paris and returned to her life.

It had meant everything to her. And to lose it again…

“I’m sorry, Chloe.” He said, leaning closer to her. “I thought things were better.”

“They were.” She sniffed, trying to hold back the hurt. “They were better. And do you know why?”

She laughed, startling him with how bitter it sounded.

“Chloe?”

��It was because of Marinette Dupain-Cheng. Because of course it was!" She started off lowly, but her tone grew angrier the more she spoke. "Because of course she is! Because of. Freaking. COURSE if ANYONE was to get my Mom to do better and treat me like I’m actually family and just be a mom, it would be stupid perfect Marinette!”

She curled in on herself with a sob.

“Not…not me.”

Despite her efforts, the tears began to flow.

“And…and now—”

She hiccuped, forcing herself to speak.

“I heard it, you know. They're saying that Marinette got hit by that akuma and now not only did she disappear, but everything—everything connected to her is disappearing, too. Like…how? How does that even work? How does one person affect that much? She was just…just a little nobody! She didn’t matter!” Chloe lowered her head. “At least, she didn’t use to.”

Adrien frowned, wanting to argue, but forced himself to not speak.

Chloe filled the silence instead.

“And it was scary learning she was fading, because that could happen to you or me or anyone, but it was like no big deal, right? Because  yeah, she’s done some things and helped some people but it's not like she did that much, right? So her being gone wouldn't matter that much. Surely she didn’t impact me.” Her eyes clenched shut. “But she did, and now it’s hitting me in the face just how much of what I had was because of her and…and…”

She tried to wipe at her eye, only for more tears to trail.

“And now just like that! It’s all gone! Just back to how it was before. Like—like it never happened! Mom caring about me? Loving me? Yeah right! When did that ever happen? It wasn't me being awesome or a good daughter or following in her footsteps that got my Mom's attention!" She smiled falsely, tears falling from her eyes in a sad show of her true feelings.

"Nope! It wasn't anything about me! It wasn't even about Mom realizing she loves me! Everything we got to have was all only because of Marinette Dupain-Cheng!” She exclaimed with a wild waving of her hands. "Isn't that lovely? Isn't that awesome? Isn't it great how she just fixed everything and brought us together into the happy little family I'd been wanting for years?"

“Chloe…”

She shook her head, showing a bitter smile.

“And now because of stupid akumas and stupid magic, Marinette isn’t here. And because she isn’t here, she wasn’t there. And because she wasn’t there, it didn’t happen. And because it didn’t happen, everything’s just…poof! Gone! Just like that! Just like magic!”

She clenched her fists, her smile falling. “And now I know it never would have happened on its own. Not with just me. Not without her. It was only because of her that I had my Mom back at all. And now that she’s gone, I’m gonna lose that too and…and…”

She sobbed.

“It’s not fair.”

It wasn’t, he agreed internally because what could he actually say?

He understood her feelings about her Mom. It was hold he felt with his own Dad. Never feeling enough. And to have someone else come in and fix that…he wasn’t sure whether he would be grateful or hurt. He was even less sure how he would respond.

…he would feel sad. He knew that much.

“And the worst part? Ladybug is just the same. Harsh sometimes, but not like that. Never like that.”

Silence.

A breath.

“What does that say?” Chloe asked. “When her being gone makes that big of a difference? With my hero AND with my Mom. Not me. Not anyone. No. It's because of Her.”

Adrien stared in surprise. He'd known Ladybug was off, but even Chloe had noticed a difference? It was jarring.

“Ladybug is?”

Chloe wiped her tears. “She's different. You've noticed, haven't you?” She paused, before shrugging. “Though maybe you haven't been around her enough to. But she's different, too. Everyone is different without her. Ladybug. My Mom...I get why. I remember what happened to start it, but still...”

He had as Chat, but he couldn't tell her that.

“And I hate it!” She suddenly exclaimed, anger rushing through her. “I hate it because it means it was nothing about me that made it even happen or made me worth it in the first place but it was everything about her and I hate that but I’m so selfish because—yeah okay, I hate it but I’ll still take it if it means I get to have this and it’s still better than not having Mom at all even if I only got it this way but now I can’t even have that much anymore and soon I never will have had it at all and it'll be like it never happened and it’s not fair!” She ended up shouting, slamming her fist into the ground.

“Chloe!”

“I’m not good, but it’s not fair!”

He hesitated for a moment.

But it was only a moment before he drew her into his arms and let her cry.

He wanted to speak and reassure her. Insist that she was wrong and she was more than enough. It was the right thing to say. The kind thing.

But he was still learning and growing and still so very scared of saying the wrong thing.

Nino had helped him. Listened to him. Helping him without even saying a thing.

Because it was what he needed…because sometimes people needed to make their voices heard more than they needed kind words.

And Adrien could do that much.

So he sat by her, waiting in solidarity and support. The friend and listener she needed as she cried.

[staticbluue]

THIS WEEK ONLY

For the week of Thanksgiving, I am doing a bust commission for anyone who sends me proof of donation to any Palestinian evacuation/survival fundraiser. Send screenshots of the donation receipt or the donation confirmation screen on GoFundMe to my email briankai08011990@gmail.com, along with a description of the commission you want and reference images. I'll get back to you either the same day or the next day to confirm that I received your email, but it may take a few weeks for me to actually get your commission finished, so I'd appreciate your patience.

I am only doing bust commissions since I don't have the time to work on larger commissions for free, and I will not be doing edits, I'll just send the finished work to you. Thank you for understanding.

Here's what you can get:

Donation of $5-$9 USD: Lineart

Donation of $10-$19 USD: Flat colors

Donation of $20 or more: Shaded

Keep conversion rates in mind.

If you don't know where to donate, gazafunds.com spotlights a different campaign every time you refresh!

If, for whatever reason, you can't donate directly, send your donation amount to my PayPal (it's under my email briankai08011990@gmail.com) and include your email address in the note. I will email you my proof of donation and you can reply with your commission request and reference pictures.

If you have your heart set on a bigger commission, I do have my regular commissions open on artistree as well, but that money will be going toward my dental work, not charity.

Requests will be open until 11:59 PM on Sunday, and your request will be valid as long as you email me before then, even if I don't get back to you until Monday. I hope to see a decent turnout for this, and I'll probably be working on commissions through December. Please reblog to spread the word, thank you!

[do-androids-dream-ao3acc]

„Really,“ Tommy scoffs, „you’re my trainee pilot? Zorii Bliss?“

He frowns, as if he’s reading the name on his clipboard for the first time. 

„You wouldn’t have accepted my request if I’d gone by my real name, would you,“ Buck goes, somewhat defiant. „I did the prepayment, so don’t waste the money, give me my flying lesson. By the way, your fees really are competitive.“

„You looked up the fees of other pilots?“

There’s something in the air, a special kind of tension. Every word seems ambiguous, just like this whole situation. Buck's intention is clear. It's just difficult to convey it. The hangar with the helicopter seems to have shrunk, reduced to a pair of steel-blue eyes that once looked so lovingly at him and now seem so stern. 

“Listen,” says Tommy, ”if you have something to tell me, you didn't have to book a lesson under a false name. I…“

„Yeah, but believe me, this was the only way,“ Buck blurts out. 

Tommy looks at him, confused. But there's more to his gaze, isn't there? Buck, whose mind was filled with TommyTommyTommy for weeks, would read something into every little wrinkle next to his eyes, every vague movement of his lips. He realizes that, but he doesn't care. 

“You really want a flying lesson?” 

“I do.”

Maybe it's not right to pressure Tommy into a debate in this way. Does he give in because he knows how stubborn Buck can be, or because it means something to him too? There are so many questions, so many unresolved issues. 

As they board the helicopter, Buck can’t help but feel like this might just be a dream. Maybe it is, he's had a lot of dreams in the past few weeks, and Tommy has been in every one of them. But if it is, it’s the most genuine of dreams, and it’s not a nightmare. There’s not only tension in the air, there’s also Tommy’s aftershave. His presence makes him dizzy, he hardly listens as the man starts his spiel about how a helicopter works. Tommy’s talking about the cyclic and about autorotation, and he just feels like planet Buck, rotating around his sun again. 

“You won't learn how to take off or land in the first lesson,” says Tommy sternly. “But the sensation of flying, of keeping the machine under control in the air, that's what I'll show you. You got that?”

Flying, Buck thinks. Exactly what I’m craving.

They ascend, and with every altitude, Buck’s fear shrinks. The fear of being rejected. The fear of not being able to say what he actually wants to say. But also the fear that he's only doing this because he's actually addicted to Tommy. Addicted to the feeling this man conveyed and that he’s missed so much. 

But as they rise into the deep blue sky, he realizes it’s something else. Addiction is dependency, and Buck is coping alone; he has learned to endure loneliness long before Tommy. What he can't cope with is ignorance. And…

“The silence,” he muses aloud, and Tommy gives him a questioning look. 

“It's not exactly quiet in a helicopter,” he says, tapping his headphones.

It's not the ideal conditions for a conversation like this. But none of them can run away at this moment, and besides, this is Tommy's territory. His domain, which he controls; something from which he draws self-confidence. Buck didn't book this flying lesson because it really was a last resort to talk to Tommy again. 

“I was talking about you,” Buck returns. „You bubbled me, but you never sent a message.“

„I… bubbled you?“

Tommy's furrowed brows are a question mark. Buck shrugs, “I saw you were about to text me several times, but then you didn't. I've been staring at my phone for days, so close to calling you. L.A.'s having a flour crisis because of me.”

“Flour,” Tommy repeats uncomprehendingly. “What altitude are we flying at?”

This is either a test or a distraction, but Buck has done his homework, and his eyes find the information immediately.

„Nearly 11,500 feet. Still not very close to our maximum altitude.“ 

“High enough for you to explain to me what this is all about,“ Tommy says.

Buck heaves a sigh. It’s not easy to find the right words. 

„Zorii Bliss is actually a woman’s name,“ he begins, although he can see that’s not what Tommy expected. „There’s only so many queer characters in the Star Wars universe, and she’s not one of them; but she’s a past love interest of one main character.“

„That makes me Poe Dameron?“

Oh, he’s quick. And he’s almost smiling. That’s a start, right? But then he says, “You're giving me a little too much credit, I think.”

“You think you're not a main character? To me, you always were.”

Tommy's sideways glance is wistful, the look of a man who’s been trying to come to terms with his past for a long time. 

“We talked about this,” he says, though his white knuckles gripping the cyclic tell the opposite. 

„No, we didn’t. Which is why we’re here now.“

Now it’s Tommy’s turn to sigh, it sounds like a breath he held weeks ago. 

“I actually wanted to text you,” he admits as he stares out the pane, avoiding Buck's gaze. „Because… I’m really sorry how that went. Not my best move.“

„Breaking up with me? Definitely,“ says Buck with a hoarse laugh. 

“To leave without explaining myself,” Tommy emphasizes. „You did nothing wrong.“

„Oh, but I did. I asked you to move in with me at a point of our relationship that just wasn’t the right one.“

Only now does Tommy turn to him, a questioning expression on his face. 

„You think this is all about timing?“

„Of course not,“ Buck says softly. „It’s about us, stumbling through half a year of…“

„Fun,“ Tommy interjects. 

„Yeah, but it was more than that, right? You weren’t with me only because I was a sexy himbo you had fun with.“

Tommy’s jaw drops. 

„You’re twisting…“

This time, Buck doesn’t let him finish.

„No. You made assumptions about me, figuring out who I was and what I actually wanted. That hurt, because everything I wanted was you. I realize, though, that I didn’t really show you. But in the end, Tommy…“

He stops to put his hand on Tommy's arm, just for a moment. His muscles are tense and hard, and his jaw is working as if he’s chewing on Buck’s words, but he’s still listening. 

„In the end,“ he continues, „it was never about me not knowing who I am, but who you actually are. I missed out on you. That was never as clear as the moment you left.“

“Do you realize that one possible conclusion of this is that we just don't fit together?” Tommy says, but his eyes say, convince me otherwise. Buck wants to believe that. 

“I can think of at least half a dozen other conclusions,” he replies. „And I want to try and see if I’m right. Because there’s something else I realized.“

Maybe he’s deliberately making a dramatic pause, staring at the horizon from nearly 11,800 feet altitude.  

“And that would be?” Tommy asks, his eyes now on Buck's lips. 

“I've been abandoned so many times in my life that I assumed that's how it had to be. Fate or something. True, people told me that’s wrong, that I deserve to be happy, yada yada.“

His fingers draw exclamation marks in the air, but Tommy still only has eyes for his face. Does he look at his blue eyes and thinks, just like Buck, that the horizon is reflected in them, and with it infinite possibilities?

“But that made me passive, and I'm not. I don't want to be like that. Not when something is so important. Hey, I'm the guy who sued the department to get his job back. Who found his sister after her crazy first husband left her half-dead. Who would have dug up his best friend with his bare hands if he could have. But I’m also the guy who never fought for his relationships. Look, Tommy, is that me? Is that who I want to be, the guy who fights for his loved ones but not for his actual love?“

„What?“ Tommy blinks, then his eyes widen. 

Buck laughs. It’s a liberating sound, this time. 

„Yeah, like in one of those hallmark rom-coms, you like those. Something, somebody is taken away from you, and only then do you realize how important he was. That hurts, and at first you're angry, especially because he said that you don't know what you want anyway and that he's just a stopover.”

Tommy raises his hands defensively, “I'm sorry. I really am.“ „You better be. Because I want us to be together again. I can’t actually promise I won’t break your heart, because that little thing seems a bit fragile to me.“

Out of the blue, he pokes Tommy in the chest with his index finger, but he doesn't even flinch. The corners of his mouth lift a little, at least. 

“But we can work on that. Together. We're a bunch of problems, but we can also be the solution.”

“What you said earlier…” Tommy begins, his gaze searching Buck’s, and he nods.

„I love you. I want a second chance, Tommy. If you don’t want me, you can just land this helicopter and I’ll walk away.“

There’s a pause, but the silence is not unpleasant, not awkward. 

„Put your hand on the cyclic,“ Tommy finally says. 

Buck looks at him, confused. Not the answer he had hoped for, but not a flippant rebuff either. For a moment, they just stare at each other. Then, ever so gently, Tommy takes his hand and places it on the stick. 

„You wanted to know what it’s like, flying,“ he remarks with a smile. 

(Thank you so much for letting me use that idea!) AO3 version | All my BuckTommy on AO3

tommy's radio silence goes on for too long so buck does the only reasonable thing—

he books a flying lesson with tommy

[ryllen]

something i promised on my kofi 6 months ago... 🫠

[mokeonn]

I think something that is REALLY fun about having a small animal that needs to live in a habitat is making it a hobby to try to make the best possible habitat for them. Like there's nothing more fun than planning and executing different ways create paradise for an animal with a brain no larger than a peanut.

[thedrotter]

a once in a lifetime miracle: oc art!! this is Shiva.

doodles from a month or so, but i cant really draw properly right now. but i wanted to do something meanwhile so i colored these :33

[mypeggableromance]

.

[adore-gregor]

🙄🫠

[anaalnathrakhs]

i <3 feeling like i'm literally always making the wrong choice

[katamarei]

I just got tickets to see my favorite band in the world (Justice) live and liiiiterally all I can think about is how I shouldn't have done it 😭

[lycorisicecream]

Rework of an OC of mine, all that's really different is that I used green instead of red for the eye

[running-in-the-dark]

okay but seriously the way everyone always focuses on me finally getting a job as if that's the ultimate end goal of life and there's nothing else that matters at all is making me feel like. if I can't do that. what is left.

like it's.. not that unlikely that no matter how hard I try I'll never be able to work full time (or even part time, who knows at this point honestly), and it makes me feel like - okay so then I just need to stop existing I guess

[thelovelyblark-barg]

I'm so tired of having a body that has never liked me

the corkscrewing spine, the tonsils the constant size of ping pong balls, the cyclical vomiting syndrome, the chronic migraines, the periods that go for anywhere from 3 weeks to 3 months,

[autistic-shaiapouf]

Oh haha yeah I'm definitely feeling better <- he is not talking to people

[dylawas-reblogs]

me: yeah so we haven't had a meeting about it yet, but I asked my coworkers about past interns and why they left; chances are they won't hire me full time at my internship immediately. However, the chances of having it extended are pretty good, and I like what I'm doing, and they're going to be talking about budget in July. Sure my finances are a little tight but--

my sperm donor (only slightly exaggerated): look for a new job immediately and tell them if they won't hire you full time you're leaving. and no, I don't care if you don't find something in your industry and you have to settle for a job that will make you hate being alive even more than you already do. Also I'm going to ignore how long it took you to find this internship to begin with

me:

[moinsbienquekaworu]

I thought about working a 9-5 for the next 45 years of my life and all of my love for life has evaporated