#and I just picture it funny af

[byler-seguin]

roope wedding happened ? 👀

[blossoms-and-petrichor]

my favorite trope in literature is when the MC watches a shakespeare play for "no fucking reason" until you slowly realizes its all adding to the theme/characterization

[pardonmydelays]

it's so funny when someone tells you you look happier now because you smile all the time when in reality you know damn well you couldn't get out of bed today

[frostingtheorange]

Drew this in the midst of my boredom (note: I don't know how to draw hats)

HAT ENTHUSIASTS (note 2: height accurate ish)

[iguessweallcrazyithinktho]

.

[theinfinitedivides]

said a prayer for Jjong today.

[peapod20001]

I like looking back at all my old stuff I’ve made and then finding like. The random just really nicely done thing in a sea of skill appropriate work lol

[theparadoxmachine]

Underrated pastime: Looking at listings for dvd storage shelves and judging the taste of the fake person who owns the dvds on the display

[clochanamarc]

if u ever want to know what kind of person aisling is in a relationship, when eoin said he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, the first thing she did was set fire to the base of the company of v, kill three members, incapacitate all the guards, and fight moira with so much power that she ripped the multiverse apart and placed her between worlds. like she loves so much that she'll literally bring empires to their knees just to make the world a little safer for them.

[gothcarmelasoprano]

maw why are these troll accounts linked through my ex best friends STILL following me

[elliemuze]

This sent me. 😂

[swugflower]

So I was at a (vaguely work related) costume party yesterday. (The hosts are coworkers of mine and the guests were customer of ours)

And I made the fatal mistake of complimenting a guy in a viking-esque/ren faire costume. I just told him he looks cool in it.

And he just wouldn’t fucking leave me alone for the rest of the evening to the point I thought of leaving early (mind you, i went 4hours by train to attend)

Like at first we engaged in some small talk but he just wouldn’t fucking leave. And everytime I went away from him to eat/drink/talk to someone he would soon follow. Where ever I was he was suddenly also there.

And my coworkers started asking if I need help with him and one of the hosts told him I’m a lesbian and not interested. He kept hanging around me still.

Another coworker told me, he kept asking for me whenever I left the room. When dancing he kept edging closer and I very pointedly looked not at him and nothing helped.

And I’m actually quite upset with myself that I never told him off directly but only did it subtly (walking away from him, not engaging anymore when he talked to me, etc.) There wasn’t even a real reason, it’s not like this was an potentially dangerous situation but I just didn’t want to and didn’t want to be mean because in the end he did “nothing” but being annoying.

And, my moral of the story, will sadly be that I’ll refrain from giving men compliments in the future. I love giving compliments, to strangers and friends but I had to deeply regret it the whole evening.

They say it costs nothing to be kind, but in this case it very much did. It cost me my evening, lots of fun, and honestly another chunk of trust in men.

And I often think about men speaking about how rarely people show them kindness and how they never receive flowers and stuff and despite all the distrust and anger I feel against men, I feel for it and it makes me sad.

But once again I was very strongly reminded why that is and why non-men and women have to be like this.

So, yeah. That’s that. Fuck men and yes all men.

(And I wanna stretch that he isn’t a coworker and despite being a customer there wouldn’t have been any negative consequences for me if I had told him to fuck off, so really idk why I let him continue :/ )

[pardonmydelays]

top 5 things that are wrong with the delivery guy?

no but why is this so funny

ok, i guess it's time to spill the tea (just keep in mind most of these are just things that i've heard from someone & i'm not 100% sure any of this is true):

he's divorced & i've heard that he's been cheating on his (now ex)wife - don't know if the cheating part is true

he had problems with drugs - again, i don't know if it's true

i know he had a girlfriend last year (i saw them together), i have no idea if they are still in a relationship but maybe??? again, not sure, i haven't seen her around for a while & if they are still together, don't think any less of me, i'm not even flirting with him, he's just there being hot & i suffer (i actually stopped flirting with him as soon as i found out he's not single, now we basically just talk and smile at each other when he's passing by)

i've heard he's been flirting with lots of girls at the mall (and even slept with some of them) - i can't confirm it's true, only one person told me this & that's not even a person i can 100% trust (i guess it may be a rumour circulating in our mall)

despite all those things i still want him but i guess that's actually something wrong with me not him

[loserwithanartacc]

Them :3

I think her immediately going and sulking in a corner after her wife didn’t show up was funny af

I’m picturing her just side eyeing the emissary the whole time tbh

[amaranthineghost]

hi! could u write a fic where lando and the reader were fucking and lando takes his phone out halfway through (to take a photo for himself) but accidentally gets it posted on his instagram story and they only find out in the morning idk i just thought this would be funny af

OOPS? ( lando norris. )

lando norris x reader

to commemorate the sight in front of him, he snaps a picture on his phone without realizing he's just posted it for millions to see.

warnings: smut

authors note: I really liked writing this!!! it's a bit shorter than usual, but I enjoyed it a lot so thanks anon!!! <333

HE DIDN'T KNOW HOW HE DID IT. maybe he was just in the haze of sex, buried deep in her cunt with her leg over his shoulder, her other around his lower back pulling him in further.

he was hovering over her, hand pressed against her mouth as strings of muffled moans spilled from her lips, warm tears against his skin. god, she looked so good, too good. he just wanted to remember how fucked out her expression was.

leaning over to the nightstand, slowing his thrusts ever so much as he clutched his phone, flash on to compensate for the darkness of the bedroom. he snapped the photo, throwing the phone to the side, face side up.

he turned his focus back to the messy masterpiece in front of him, returning to the pace he had set before.

he pulled his hand away from her mouth to hear her symphony of moans, music to his ears. his hand took its place on her neck.

lando norris has posted to his story

he was so lost in the moment, he should've realized sooner the mistake he made. he should've realized at the instant texts that lit up his screen because who would be texting him this late?

all he did was flip over the phone, ignoring whatever notified him as he pulled her leg off his shoulder, pushed her leg down from his back. he fell beside her, prompting her to crawl across him, straddling him weakly as his hands settled on her hips.

fuck, she looked so good from this angle. hair messy from the pillows, face red from the tears down her cheeks, but also flushed from how hard he fucked her. he had already coaxed one orgasm ouf of her.

she sank down on his cock, causing him to curse under his breath with praise, “fuck, such a good girl.” his hands clawed into the flesh of her hips, guiding her pace once he saw her struggle.

the view was immaculate, he could've came at the sight of her tits bouncing up and down as she slid on his cock alone. it was salivating.

his hands left her hips to grasp her breasts, and he couldn't care if her pace faltered because everything felt too good in the moment.

if only they knew.

he planted his feet firmly against the bed, grasping her sides again as he lifted his hips to meet her halfway. it was rough, causing her to steady herself with her hands against his chest as he thrusted up and forced her hips down. his cock buried deep in her brought her over the edge so easily as tears fell from her face onto the bare skin of his chest.

she collapsed against his chest as his cock sank into her, feeling the warmth of his seed inside her cunt. she groaned against his chest as his arm spread across her bare back and pressed a kiss to her hair. the tears from her face wet his skin.

“did so good, baby,” he cooed, running fingers across her flesh as she hummed into his chest.

they laid together for a while before going and cleaning up. since it was already late in the night, they got back into bed and fell asleep.

when lando awoke the next morning, his phone was nearly dead and hundreds of texts and missed calls from his friends was the cause. hot to the touch, he carefully held his phone, brows furrowed as he laid on his side, back to his girlfriend, who was still fast asleep on the other side of the bed.

first, he opened the texts from his friend, max, who’s messages were in all caps. his eyes widened at the content, squinting at the screen in disbelief. no way he was that stupid, no the photo he took was in his camera roll—no it wasn't.

he discovered that, unfortunately, the photo he had taken was posted to his Instagram story, and it hadn't been taken down.

if it weren't for the circumstances, he could've stared at the photo all day because it was truly that good, but first he had to get rid of the post—and get the photo into his camera roll.

he nearly jumped out of his skin when she stirred in her sleep, now right against his back with her cheek pressed to his bare skin.

“morning,” she groaned and he mumbled back. she moved to rest her head on his shoulder, squinting to see what was on his phone screen, “why’re you on your phone so early?”

“i'm sorry.” he gulped, turning his head to watch the expression knot on her face, mostly confusion.

she sat up, leaning on her arm as she practically hovered over him, “lando, what did you do?”

“i’m so sorry,” was all he could say.

“lando,” she paused, an underlying tone of irritation laced in her voice as she emphasized her words, “what did you do?”

he glanced back at his phone, not even trying to hide the guilty expression written all over his face. she snatched the phone from his hand, and he didn't stop her. he covered his face with his hands, rubbing his eyes before leaving them to cover the lower half of his face as he watched her face.

“what the fuck?” she shoved his shoulder.

“i didn't mean to!” he sat up, throwing his hands up before running them through his messy curls, “i don't know how i did it.”

“oh my god,”she muttered under her breath, rubbing her temples as she hunched over the phone, “i’m deleting it.”

“wait–” his hand touched hers, he bit his lip, “at least save it to my photos–ow!”

she hit the backside of his head at the idiocy of his words. she exhaled deeply, anger taking over her body. of course, he didn't care as much as she did. he wasn't in the photo at all to begin with and this wouldn't affect his career as deeply as it would affect hers.

“why? so you can post it somewhere else? text it to your friends?” she raised her voice, groaning out in frustration.

“baby, calm down–” he tenderly placed a hand on her shoulder, which she shrugged off.

“how can i calm down, lando?” she threw his phone down on the bedding, falling back down onto the bed with her hands covering her face in shame. now that picture is all everyone will ever see her as, all thanks to her idiot of a boyfriend.

he grabbed his phone back, seeing the photo had been taken down from his story, but they both knew that image would be circling the internet for a long time.

“at least the photo didn't show anything,” he tried to make light of the situation, but it was to no avail as she spat back with venom in her tone.

“you don't even care about the photo because you aren't the one in it, lando.” she scoffed.

“i’m sorry, okay?” he turned to her, “i really didn't mean to, you know i would never do that.”

she sighed, “i know, but i’m still mad, lan.”

“i know, darling,” he laid beside her on his side, looking at her side profile as she stared at the ceiling, “you have every right to be mad.”

she stayed silent, and he didn't know if it was a good or bad thing.

he gulped again, speaking up, “and i promise to never take a photo of you when we're fucking ever again.”

a laugh forced it's way past her lips, “oh, please we both know you'll try and fail,” she said with a smile on her lips, shaking her head.

“okay, yeah, but i promise i’ll triple check it's not in any social media post,” he flipped over onto his stomach, propped up by his elbows with his pinky held out. she took it and the promise was made. the situation dealt with, for the most part.

“did you happen to save the photo though–ow, okay!”

—

taglist (found here): @poppyflower-22 @sapphiccloud @slut4lrh @kaa12 @taylorslovesswifties13 @sbella13 @nhlfs @beskardroids @hiireadstuff @lorenica @delululeclerc @c-losur3 @casperlikej

proofread by @foreveralbon <333

[scottiexmariee]

Social Media Headcanons

How I think the boys would be with various social media!

Masterlist

★ let's be real

★ Xav would follow you on everything.

★ he doesn't have an account? he's making one just to follow you and maybe Jeremiah if he's lucky

★ he would absolutely have your post notifications on too, would never admit that out loud though

★ don't worry he's definitely not checking to see who else likes your posts

★ interacts with 99% of your posts

★ would definitely attempt to post a "cute" candid pic of you, but in reality it's blurry as hell and completely mid

★ ^ "but I like that picture..."

★ I do think Xav would have a tiktok, but I think he'd be more of an observer than a poster

❄ aside from the Moments posts, I don't really see Zayne keeping up with a bunch of social media

❄ man is BUSY. I can't realistically imagine him doom scrolling through tiktok or twitter after a torturously long day at the hospital

❄ I REALLY feel like he would think tiktok is overstimulating or something

❄ but he would definitely sit with you like a good boy and watch some if you really wanted to show him something (bro is a closet softie, be fr)

❄ would definitely make occasional posts of you, like he does with the moment posts.

❄ probably dedicates his instagram to scenery pictures

❄ is definitely in your comments with his dry ass humor

♥ most definitely has every single type of social media

♥ twitter, instagram, tiktok, etc. all of it

♥ whether or not he runs the accounts? probably not most of them (ily Thomas)

♥ Raf is funny af, if you've seen the "sound was crisp 10/10" moment post you know what I'm talking about. I just know there'd be a GOLDMINE of similar posts on his personal twitter

♥ can totally see him being dramatic and sending you tiktoks of things he wants to do

♥ for exanple

♥ he sends you a video of a couple at the beach, holding hands and walking by the water

♥ after sending the tiktok, he'd say something like "must be nice"

♥ ^ "Rafayel do you want to go for a walk on the beach?"

♥ ^ "well, I was gunna work on a painting... buuut since you asked so nicely, be here in 10 cutie,"

♦ okay listen

♦ this man would be gassing you up in your instagram comments (personal hype man? oh yes, absolutely)

♦ man also has no problem showing you off, you're def getting posted. bro adores you. immediate hard launch, zero shits given

♦ sometimes he posts vague ass shit on moments that only you (and maybe the twins) would understand, so I definitely see that carrying over to other platforms

♦ imagine him cryptic posting on twitter

♦ ^ "the sky is a little darker than normal today" and he's literally just being petty because you forgot to send a good morning text

♦ as for tiktok, I can absolutely see you having to explain to him wtf a tiktok even is

♦ "Why not just post it on Moments? I don't understand why it needs a whole different platform."

♦ ^ he'd definitely make an account though, simply because you asked

♦ if he posts anything on tiktok at all, it would probably be him using an alloy ammo box as a grill or something (iykyk), or reposting things that you posted

BONUS: Luke & Kieran

-Let's be fr, Luke & Kieran would most definitely be shitposters

-They are funny as HELL

-Brainrot fyp on tiktok = Luke and Kieran

-Their social media would absolutely be chaos but I'm here for it