#I’m gnc and non binary and most men don’t show interest in me

[swugflower]

So I was at a (vaguely work related) costume party yesterday. (The hosts are coworkers of mine and the guests were customer of ours)

And I made the fatal mistake of complimenting a guy in a viking-esque/ren faire costume. I just told him he looks cool in it.

And he just wouldn’t fucking leave me alone for the rest of the evening to the point I thought of leaving early (mind you, i went 4hours by train to attend)

Like at first we engaged in some small talk but he just wouldn’t fucking leave. And everytime I went away from him to eat/drink/talk to someone he would soon follow. Where ever I was he was suddenly also there.

And my coworkers started asking if I need help with him and one of the hosts told him I’m a lesbian and not interested. He kept hanging around me still.

Another coworker told me, he kept asking for me whenever I left the room. When dancing he kept edging closer and I very pointedly looked not at him and nothing helped.

And I’m actually quite upset with myself that I never told him off directly but only did it subtly (walking away from him, not engaging anymore when he talked to me, etc.) There wasn’t even a real reason, it’s not like this was an potentially dangerous situation but I just didn’t want to and didn’t want to be mean because in the end he did “nothing” but being annoying.

And, my moral of the story, will sadly be that I’ll refrain from giving men compliments in the future. I love giving compliments, to strangers and friends but I had to deeply regret it the whole evening.

They say it costs nothing to be kind, but in this case it very much did. It cost me my evening, lots of fun, and honestly another chunk of trust in men.

And I often think about men speaking about how rarely people show them kindness and how they never receive flowers and stuff and despite all the distrust and anger I feel against men, I feel for it and it makes me sad.

But once again I was very strongly reminded why that is and why non-men and women have to be like this.

So, yeah. That’s that. Fuck men and yes all men.

(And I wanna stretch that he isn’t a coworker and despite being a customer there wouldn’t have been any negative consequences for me if I had told him to fuck off, so really idk why I let him continue :/ )

[sa2sugu]

do you have a fav character in blue period??

yessss a blue period ask ₍₍ (ง ˙ω˙)ว ⁾⁾ i can’t really pick a favorite but i guess yatora and yuka stood out to me. yatora because he’s both very pragmatic about his goals but he also gets all consumed by art. obviously we walk through his art process because he’s the main character but the way he “solved” the uni entrance exam was very exciting to me and like i can tell he’s going to have a few breakdowns at uni for sure because the rigidity of college applications is lifted and he’ll be put in a very different environment. and we see how through his love for art he himself becomes a better person and how it influences the people around him as well (like koigakubo’s decision to apply for pastry school). simply doing the thing you’re passionate about and giving it your all can be an inspiration for others, no matter how insignificant it seems and i think yatora’s character development portrayed this very well. and most of all, yatora gets you invested in his growth as an artist. in the first season he is applying for uni so we see him acquire the technical skills but don’t really get to see him with any artistic freedom. so i’m excited to see where he takes his art once he has that newfound freedom and the responsibility that follows it.

yuka, goes without saying, is one of the most interesting characters in the show. gender nonconforming characters, especially trans women and men/boys who are femme, are ridiculed to the point where their entire point is to serve as comedic relief. so it really was a breath of fresh air to see yuka being treated seriously and we delve into their narrative quite intensely and honestly quite beautifully as well. yuka’s arc felt like a sincere coming of age story of a complicated gnc character, and i loved the way their art (the art that they actually wanted to make) coincides with their character development. i felt that there was a lot of respect for the character in the way they were written. and i want to address this now that i’m talking about them but i got several messages after asking not to refer to yuka as a “femboy” and these messages annoyed me so much i deleted them all. regardless of whether yuka identifies as a gay/bi man or a non binary person or a trans woman, the term “femboy” itself has a history of being a derogatory term to refer to trans women and i think it’s so funny that people HAVE to use that word for a rare character whose sexuality and gender is treated seriously for once in anime. anyway the episode where yatora and yuka go to the beach was literally one of the favorite scenes ive seen in all anime it was so goooood.

also i really like hashida’s character design i go bananas when it comes to guys with long braids but PIGTAIL braids just can’t be topped. i like maki too because i felt her narrative was realistic. oh and i love mori’s artwork, i think it was a very interesting choice to have yatora’s first artistic inspiration as someone who creates religious art

[autiedragons-ismoving]

(we follow from another account

with a pink dolly parton pfp)

fronting: Kaz

pronouns: they/them

cc:

Sapphic/WLW/NBLW only blogs will be left alone when non-Sapphic headmates are fronting. MLM/NBLM only blogs will be left alone when non M/NBLM headmates are fronting.

NEED TO KNOW, BOUNDARIES, & GENERAL INFO BELOW

• polyfragmented diagnosed DID system of [number redacted bc it’s none of your business].

• we’re cagey with personal details & will not be showing the body’s face at any point. we avoid sharing face claims & headmate picrews. we’ve got toxic & abusive people chomping at the bit to find my online presence we do not wish to be identifiable. if lack of any personal info spooks you you’re free to leave but also… learn some internet safety basics

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• we have a history of substance abuse and may talk about it from time to time. we are currently sober, in recovery, and doing so so much better. tagging isn’t always consistent on these things - we try to trigger warm but just a heads up.

• if this is still the same paragraph like five times i’m sorry. no matter how many times i delete it it returns. it’s haunting me.

• if this is still the same paragraph like five times i’m sorry. no matter how many times i delete it it returns. it’s haunting me.

We Block:

racists

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transmed/truscum

queerphobes

bi/pan/etc “lesbians” & supporters. lesbian is an inherently mspec orientation and overlaps heavily with other mspec orientations. the addition of other mspec labels to the term is rooted in TERF ideology.

anti non-binary/anti-binary/genderqueer/transmasc/gnc lesbians

transandrophobia truthers. the body (and most headmates) are intersex, many of us are transmasc, and some of us are trans men. the talking points and language used makes us (transmasc headmates) ridiculously uncomfortable and we do not want to be involved with it in any way.

maps/nomaps/p*dos

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please use the terms headmate or systemmate to refer to individuals in this system. anyone who refers to us as alters, parts, etc will be blocked. it makes us extremely uncomfortable.

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we are not your litmus test, your DIY 23 and me, your emotional dumping ground, your guilt pit, or your personal wikipedia page. don’t ask me if you’re Native or not, Jewish or not, Disabled or not, Autistic or not, etc. I don’t know you! i’m not here to make you feel better for wearing a headdress 10 years ago, or saying a slur in the first grade. please don’t dump that on me.

Blog Structure:

There really isn’t one. Some of us tag special interests, others don’t. We do our best to tag common triggers. Headmates won’t usually be tagged individually when reblogging or posting unless deemed relevant.

Current Interests:

Animal Crossing

Supernatural (i know)

Our Flag Means Death (i KNOW)

Squishmallows

Mushrooms/Mycology

Medical Science

Bee & Puppycat

Star Wars

The Simon Snow Series

the House of Romanov

Cows

Jewish History & Culture

Indigenous Culture & Practice (particularly SE Turtle Island)

Indigenous Art & Art forms

Meteorology (esp the April 2011 Super Outbreak)

[beyond-a-name]

Being a gender non-conforming woman is so freaking scary sometimes.

Like, a lot of what is considered typical feminine beauty is geared towards and centered around a toxic male gaze that prioritizes youth and a lot of falseness, so by simply not shaving your legs or your armpits or not putting on makeup, you are making an active decision to not conform. Simply because society and the male gaze sets those actions as the standard, by simply existing as a natural woman and being comfortable in all the things you are supposed to have and show, you are outside of the standard and the norm.

Now that can be quite freeing, like when you date other women, you can be basically guaranteed that whoever you're with has also confronted that because they wouldn't express interest in you otherwise. Being a sapphic woman is already so outside of that male gaze and the "standard" heteronormative experience of womanhood, that most other wlw have had that experience of discovery and questioning as an essential part of their discovery of their identity.

But when you date guys or masculine people, you don't have that guarantee, that mutual understanding. There's no promise that they've put any thought into that or into how their actions can hurt both feminine and GNC people and cis men alike. All the time, you just get saturated with media of women (who otherwise have been given every priviledge imagineable) who because they don't do one of those things are undesireable and ostracized for it. There's such a constant threat of abuse and harm, such that even after you meet a queer man or a masculine non-binary person, it can br TERRIFYING, despite that you know, you know, that they've had that experience and examined those structures.

Fortunately, I'm perisex, abled, and white, so for the most part, I got to make that choice to simply exist as myself instead of suppressing anything. Like I'm neurodivergent, but I can mask pretty well in short bursts. So like, unless I want someone to be close to me, it's possible that they may not know any of that stuff. But if you're trans like I am, or if for some reason you can't hide any of that stuff (or just as bad, if you can't hide it for long), you're just already fucked and that decision is made for you.

Like I'm always just so afraid of men, because that threat of abuse is so omnipresent and there are unchangeable things about me that aren't the marketable pretty cishet white perisex woman. And even if I was, there's no gaurantee! It feels like playing roulette every time you talk to a guy.

"Has this person worked enough to understand and care that I'll be safe, let alone wanted?"

tl;dr: Being a woman, any woman, attracted to men can be terrifying because the threat of abuse is simply everywhere, and you don't know who's worked to not perpetuate it.

[zeldary]

AHHI JUST SAW UR FE TRANS HCS POST.... U saif some have hints could u tell me the hints(sorry im really intrigued!! I'm trans too so)

Ahhh thanks for the ask dear!

I’ll try to list some of the reasons, though keep in mind some are pure headcanon! Some include spoilers so I’ll go game-by-game, from oldest-to-newest

Fire emblem Gaiden/ Fire emblem echoes: Shadows of Valentia 

Saber - Agender: As my friend put it best: Saber lost his gender on a mission and never cared to go look for it. I just think he’s agender, all jokes aside, no much reasoning here!

Sonya - Trans lady: Sonya reveals that her two sisters were turned witches while she was sent away, as a kid. I like to think it’s because her father didn’t know at the time she was a girl. She’s also got great style and she’s a queen, and all trans women are queens, baby.

Genny - Trans non-binary girl: I like to see Genny as enby simply cuz non-binary people aren’t all androgynous. She’s also a super cute character and I love to think about Sonya and her bonding over being transfemmes because their friendships is super cute!

Celica - trans lady: Not in the original post but I’m adding it out of spite; Celica is trans and a wonderful character :)

Fire emblem Path of Radiance / Radiant dawn

Ike - Gay: i know you were referring to trans characters, but since he was included in the post, I decided to include him too. Basically; shows 0 interest in women, only has a platonic relationship with Elincia(?green haired lady), and that shopkeeper whos horny for him doesn’t interest him at all. However, he has two possible “bro” endings, where he elopes with a dude, with Ranulf and Soren! (Some might think it’s a reach, no way there could be a gay character, but keep in mind Jenny, in those games, is canonically a lesbian!)

Soren - Trans man: I just want to preface this by saying that when I discovered those games I was just learning about LGBTQIA+ issues, and some of my reasoning might not be that good, but here goes: the first playthrough I watched, Soren was constantly mistaken for a girl by the guy playing the game. He’s also (spoiler alert!) half beorc, half laguz, and i felt his treatment of society could be very relatable for trans people. There is also the fact that Ike has a great great great grandchild in Awakening, whom I think is also Soren’s (I like to think their paired ending is canonical), so Ike is still gay, he was just able to have a kid biologically with Soren :)

Fire emblem Fates

Forrest - Non-binary: I feel this is a touchy one: on one hand, people tend to see this character as just a gender-non-conforming boy, and I think a lot of people like him as is, and some might feel represented. On the other, Ive seen some NB people say his presentation and character reminds them of themselves. I also feel his struggle with his father is something a lot of us can relate to. As a non-binary person, while I respect any headcanon for him, I tend to fall for the latter. Also I’m starving for rep lol.

Fire emblem three houses

Byleth - Non-binary: Because I said so. (Nah just kidding the real reason is; everyone uses “they/them” for them anyway and I’m non-binary and playing them and they’re MY avatar. Ergo: they enby :3)

Leonie - Trans woman: When it comes to leonie, I just feel she’s trans, due to constantly having to remind people that she /is/ a girl. That’s a sentiment a lot of trans people share: just having people like “but... you don’t look like one lawl”. I also love the idea of trans girl leonie still being a bit of a tomboy, GNC trans people for the win lol (I also like to think her post timeskip design being pretty different is after 5 years of magic HRT lol)

Yuri - Non-binary: So basically i got super excited seeing the trailers seeing an androgynous character, thinking “THIS IS IT!! FINALLY!! NB REP!!!” But nah. Again you could make the same case as Forrest but I was just so excited,only to be so disappointed, I stick to my guns on that one, as I’m very petty. Yuri also got great style and not to brag but I feel we Enbies do have great style.

Bernadetta - Non-binary: I saw a shitty meme using her once to mock non-binary people, so I decided to have her be enby. Also I related hard to that character.

Dorothea - trans lady: Same as Sonya tbh: she’s majestic. But also: I find it interesting that (slight spoiler ahead) she was thrown in the streets as a child. I know it’s gross, /but/ I think it’s brought up in the game that sometime,s daughters were given away for money: my question is; why not give Dorothea away? Ferdinand’s support shows she was already beautiful when she was young. My answer: her father didn’t know she was a daughter. It also explain why, years later, he did not recognize her.

Manuela - Trans lady: My headcanon for Manuela is kind of an extension of Dorothea’s. I /Love/ the Idea of Manuella being Dorothea’s trans Icon, someone to admire both for her talent and for what she might have gone through. I also love the idea of Manuela seeing a /lot/ of herself in Dorothea, and thus making her her protégée at the opera. Just trans ladies helping each other Bruh.

Dimitri - Trans man: buckle up I kept one of the best for last. (Spoilers ahead!) First of all, his support with Catherine reveals he was very “feminine” as a kid, so much so that Catherine thought he was a girl. Fast forward, as a teen he’s very nice, a trait commonly shared by trans men. What makes me believe he’s trans most is the fact that as an adult, he does not have a beard. This might seem minor, but knowing his father had a lovely one, I find if weird that he does not, especially since we can assume he wouldn’t shave it since he looks...like... /that/, post-timeskip. I think he just has difficulty growing one, Dimitri is trans, change my mind.

So yeah my proof is circumstantial hope u still like it lol, thanks again for the ask anon!

[midnight-fox-boy]

More About me/Views/Etc.

Hello everyone~! This post will explain more about me, my views, and anything I flnd important to add. This will be kinda long so please buckle up ;3 

General Information

Age: 19 

Gender: Demifluidflux trans guy 

Pronouns: He/him, they/them is cool too

Sexual orientations: Gay, Demisexual

Romantic orientations: Gay, Demiromantic

Alterous Orientation: Homoalterous

Other: Polyamorous

Relationship status: Taken

I love anime, video games, drawing, singing, and just browsing the web. I like to learn new topics, and explore new ideas and sciences. I want to be a therapist someday, but if it doesn’t happen, that’s chill too. I’m polyamorous currently in a monoamorous relationship. I don’t usually participate in discourse but I do have opinions/views on different topics. I am mentally ill and prefer not to be attacked. If I do something wrong or say something offensive, I don’t mean it, or I’m simply uneducated on the topic when I thought I was. I’m happy to take polite criticsm and never mean to do harm to others. So nothing I say is ill-intended. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Views on certain discourse topics

Aspec Discourse: I believe that aromantics and asexuals are inherently LGBTQ+ and should be welcomed. However, it’s up to them if they choose to identify with LGBTQ+ or not. 

Nonbinary discourse. Yes there are more than two genders. And no it doesn’t mean “Neither male or female” Nonbinary means: “Not explicitly a single binary gender” Which can mean someone can be both binary genders, one binary gender and other nonbinary genders, no binary gender, etc etc. So yes. I CAN be a guy and nonbinary. 

Xenogenders: I may not be able to comprehend it 100% But I KNOW that gender is diverse and confusing and you can label your gender however you want. Just be you! You have my support.

Nonbinary Gays/Nonbinary lesbians: YES nonbinary people can be gay or lesbian. Many of them are nonbinary women or men. Meaning they identify with womanhood/manhood no matter how that is. Maybe they have a primarily woman or man gender, maybe they’re man/woman aligned. Whatever. You do not get to dictate who is gay enough or lesbian enough :) 

(NO)MAPS: Are scum. Do not interact, do not pass go, do not collect 200 dollars.If you support them then get the f**k off my blog please! I am a CSA survivor and will NOT tolerate pedophilia.

Am I a transmed/truscum? Am a tucute?: Well, no. I’m none of those. I do not believe dysphoria is required to be trans. As many studies show gender incongruence is all you need, dysphoria manifests in some trans people as a result of incongruence. Gender euphoria also exists. This is not a topic I would like to debate. However, I do believe that dysphoria or incongruence should be medicalized in SOME form in order for trans people to be able to get gender affirming treatments. (Hormones, surgeries). I would love to live in a world where those things are free regardless, however :/ (P.S. I am dysphoric)

Kink/BDSM: Well. I participate in BDSM and kink, but I do not post about it or discuss on my blog. I have spaces for that and this isn’t one of them. So no worries about running into any kinky posts on my blog. That wont happen. If it ever does, it was an accident. 

Transtrenders: I DO believe that RARELY, some cis people will pretend to be trans, not necessarily as a “trend” but to gain something in return, usually online. They may use it as an excuse to chase other trans people, or to have more “power” in a trans based argument. However, when people are accused of being trenders, they are usually not, they are just not what YOU feel gender should be. And people who fear they’re trenders? Impossible. You would know if you were faking. 

Self Diagnosis: I’m divided on this. You shouldn’t self diagnose many things. Like a heart condition, or cancer, or other extremes. But if you know you’re depressed all the time and can’t see a therapist, you probably have depression. If you haven’t been diagnosed with PTSD but experienced something trauamtic and show symptoms of PTSD, You probably have PTSD. If you were confirmed to likely have a certain mental illness but perhaps didn’t fit the “age requirements” for said diagnosis, you can probably take that as an unofficial diagnosis. As long as aren’t flaunting it to seem “cool” (and most don’t) and are using those self dx’s to find help resources online and such, you’re probably good. 

Fujoshis: Touchy topic I know. I do not agree when this word is used in specific contexts.

1) when girls think MLM relationships are “hot/sinful/sexy/dirty” , especially IRL MLM relationships, I think that’s fetishization, much like how many cishet men view WLW relationships  2) when it’s directed as a hate word towards gay trans men. I’ve been called a fujoshi for being a gay trans guy, and many of you probably have to. It’s wrong y’all. Gay trans men are gay men. Gay nonbinary men are gay men. 

Pansexual vs. Bisexual: Both are valid labels. All multisexual labels are valid. Labels are for you to feel comfortable with, and as long as you aren’t choosing one over the other due to biphobia/internilized homophobia, you’re probably good. Bisexual attracted to all genders? Valid. Pansexual with preferences? valid. Bisexual attracted to many genders? Valid. Pansexual and feeling attraction regardless of gender? Valid. Bisexual and identify the same way? Valid! 

Genital preference: Another touchy topic! The sad truth is that genitals DO matter to many people. Maybe it’s from truama, or an actual repulsion to a genital set. However, it should never EVER be used to excuse transphobia. You can not want to date a trans person who is pre-op, that’s fine, your loss not theirs. However, you cannot use that genital preference to see them as lesser, or as not “real” men/women. I personally have a preference for penises, but it’s only a preference. I would still potentially date a trans guy who is pre-op or never-op, but I prefer penises. But as I’m also gay, I likely wouldn’t date a trans woman who is pre-op/no-op. Because well, she’s a woman. So to summarize, genital preferences are OK as long as you aren’t a dick about it, or transphobic. :) 

Trans people and gender conformity: Alrighty. This is a favorite topic of mine. Do trans people owe gender conformity? Do nonbinary people OWE people androgyny? Nope. Cisgender people are gender-nonconforming all the time without dysphoria. We see butch cis women and Fem cis dudes all the time. So I say, why do trans men and women owe something different? While it is true that early in transition being GNC CAN cause dysphoria, that isn’t always the case. Early in transition I usually avoided feminine things and interests unless I was in the comfort of my home, but now I’m open to, and embrace my feminine and androgynous side. I’m in no way a woman, I just happen to enjoy some stereotypical feminine things. Many trans men do. As for nonbinary people, they can present however they want. Androgynous, feminine, masculine, fluid presentation, mixing it up, genderf**k, whatever. Their body, their choice. Sometimes you may be able to “tell” someone is nonbinary by looking at them, and that’s totally okay. There is no “looking nonbinary”. All looks on a nonbinary person are nonbinary. 

Anti/Anti-Anti?: Honestly I’m still confused in all of that stuff. Fiction CAN and HAS affected reality. That’s not to say that you can’t enjoy certain thinsg seen as “taboo” but there is a line that shouldn’t be crossed. PEDOPHILIA. You should not write, nor consume, fiction that presents a CHILD with an ADULT. It’s true that some pedophiles will write these to bring minors in and harass them. Even then, it gives stories for those sick f**ks to read. Do you REALLY want a pedophile reading your story? I guess I’m anti-ish. You can enjoy things that are otherwise problematic as long as you don’t let it affect how you treat people in the real world. Maybe you liked reading that fictional story about kidnapping and got off to it or something weird like that, as long as you aren’t trying to kidnap anyone or shit like that, I guess you do you, keep it to yourself though.

“NB” - Nonbinary or Non-black?: I went with POC voices on this. I will no longer use “NB” to mean nonbinary on my blog. You will likely just see “nonbinary” or “enby” used by me. 

Aspec, autistic spectrum or Asexual/aromantic spectrum?: I’ve seen very little evidence or claim on the side of “autistic spectrum” being the term. Many responses ive seen and sources claim it means asexual/aromantic spectrum, and has even been echoed by autistic people, a lot of them. If I see evidence suggetsing otherwise, I’m happy to change my language. I don’t want to be ableist. 

Butch/Femme, lesbian terms only?: I say no. I’ve seen a lot of articles, personal accounts, and history on the use of butch and femme. And none suggest they were terms only used by lesbians. From what I can tell, this idea seemed to be spread by “radical” lesbians and TERF’s. In history, many lesbians tried to distance themselves from all men, and encouraged non-lesbian women not to associate with men. This is obviously just a small tidbit of what they did in that time. However, I personally don’t use butch or femme, and don’t really plan to.

Specifically “weird” or crazy seeming kinks/BDSM styles: All I say is, you do you. If all parties are adults and consent to it, good on you. Just, keep it to yourself or in spaces dedicated to those things. As long as you don’t get off to ACTUAL CHILDREN, or try to bone or jerk it to an animal, you’re probably okay. Also don’t do incest, that stuff is bad. 

!!If there’s a discourse topic you’d like to see here, you can PM me or send me an ask. I’m happy to shed my opinions on stuff, but they will go here!!

[petalsbloomed-a]

( god i hate when trans people hide behind the ‘i’m trans so i can’t be transphobic’ card so they can’t be accused of transphobia. bitch you absolutely CAN be trans and transphobic at the same time. like seriously stop trying to idpol your way out of being called out for your obviously bigoted beliefs that the most powerful conservative people in our country are more likely to get behind.

and then they have the gall to be all like ‘oh i pass fine so they won’t question ME if i go into the bathroom and non-passing people who go into the bathrooms they want will be lumped in with me!!!!!’ like that’s classist as fuck???? some people can’t afford to transition. some people don’t have support necessary to be able to transition. i fit BOTH of those descriptors and i just look like a gnc baby. i don’t feel comfortable going into the men’s bathroom yet BECAUSE i don’t pass and going to the bathroom is something that we all have to do as human beings!!! we need to do what we need to do to make ourselves feel comfortable. the consensus right now is that trans people DO NOT SHOW A SIGNIFICANT THREAT to cis people. like i keep saying: the rights of the oppressed do not hinge on the comforts of the oppressors.

honestly it’s not non-binary people and xenogenders that make life harder for trans people, it’s people like YOU who go against your group’s interests and needs to advocate for harder bathroom use policies and restrictive health care that FUELS capitalistic oppression of trans people in a world that is already systemically against us, some of the most vulnerable people in society who have been shown to struggle the most from an economic and social standpoint in this world. fuck you. )