#and I just am actually excited to go to work every day
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Since this user's posts seem to have been deleted in previous opportunities I copy-paste their words here because they express exactly what I feel about this game. Dragon Age has died, unfortunately.
I'm a big time Dragon Age lover and have enjoyed every game in the series. Personally, I think Inquisition is the best in the series. And I was excited for Veilguard right up until I actually began playing it. Now, I want to clear things up at the start as to what I look for and believe makes a good Dragon Age game. To start, I DON'T CARE ABOUT COMBAT. I. Do. Not. Care.
You can make it Origins tactical. DA2 fast tactical. DAI hybrid. God of War action, I don't care. Dragon Age has always had combat that was...fine. A nice distraction and breakup in between the bits I actually care about: narrative ROLEPLAYING, story, characters, and exploration. I don't give a crap how great the combat is if the narrative roleplaying and writing are poor, I'm not playing BioWare titles for amazing gameplay. I am here for the story, the characters, and the roleplaying. Truth is, for a time I considered DATV's combat to be the best in the series.
And this is why I feel the game is a terrible Dragon Age, because it lacks or fails to respect those elements concerned with narrative roleplaying, story, characters, and exploration. Now, in many reviews and online videos you'll hear some reference often to the drop in writing quality. And a lot of time people will incorrectly say that the writing with the characters is to "modern" or "Marvel quippy" or not "dark" enough. I think these people are wrong, they recognize there is a drop in writing quality from previous games but aren't able to articulate why that is.
Dragon Age has never adopted any sort of faux medieval speech and vocabulary (though we'll get into this more later). This is a series that used "epic fail" as a thing someone uttered in the very first game. It's always had anachronistic dialogue and banter. So why is it such a drop then? Why is it considered poor? Simple. This is a game that does not believe in the world it has setup for over a decade. It does not believe in or engage properly with its own world and lore. I mean, look no further than the title "The Veilguard" a phrase that is never uttered by anyone in our group, and further proof it was a last minute marketing change. Compare to Inquisition where the title is apparent from the start in the game and has actual meaning.
You see, characters in DATV do not feel or react to events the way they should based on the lore. Why is no one constantly asking what the hell the Inquisitor is doing? The Inquisitor is kind of a BIG DEAL when it comes to Solas and Elven Gods, my Inquisitor drank from the WELL OF SORROWS! So why are we sitting around thinking at the start, "hmm lemme think who I can contact who might know more." The Herald of Andraste! They know more Rook, the guy that is technically your boss. The Inquisitor! Who else have you been working for this entire time? Who do you think told Varric to recruit you?!
But even removing the Inquisitor, the Elven Gods being real and also near synonymous with the old Tevinter Gods is kind of a BIG DEAL. It was only a theory fans crafted long ago that slowly revealed itself to be true. And it completely upends known religious dogma on all sides. Yet, why aren't people we meet going through a massive existential crisis? For instance, the Veil Jumpers we initially meet were presumably told off-screen about Fen'Harel, and are seemingly cool with this massive knowledge alone. But then we talk about those two other Gods being released and they're like, "well, shit those two aren't good." As if they have any clue if the fables about those Gods are real when we previously just upended everything they thought about the Dreadwolf! Why are you acting like this is another Tuesday?! Your entire religion is wrong. In that same conversation, Strife notes "Solas might be a bastard, but compared to the Evunaris? Let's just say they weren't know for being kind rulers."
My brother in Anduril, what are you talking about! Elven religion teaches that Elgar'nan was so beloved by the Earth that it "the land brought forth great birds and beasts of sky and forest, and all manner of wonderful green things." And that he fought the jealous Sun that tried to burn the land and all beasts away. Custom says that he and Mythal, "created the world as we know it" after defeating the Sun. He is literally described as one of the "good" Gods. WHY ARE YOU ASSUMING HE IS EVIL! It's like finding out Satan is real, but not as evil as have come to believe and then being told Jesus Christ is back and a devout Christian going, "well shit, that can't be good." WHAT?!
The same goes for Andraste and the Chant of Light, it took me 30 hours of playing before ONE character mentioned Andraste and the implications with the Chant and it was never brought up again. Our entire party is seemingly made up of unphased atheists. Now compare to something like Inquisition which explored this aspect HARD and was amazing for it. You'd get into great debates with religious figures and party members about the implications of Corypheus actually being a Tevinter Magister of old. And you'd talk about what it means towards the religious dogma preached and how much is true. And these intense political and religious discussions are present in every previous game, and not confined to a single conversation with one party member where it is seemingly resolved.
These conversations do not happen in DATV because there is no depth to the writing or engagement with the world. The Elven Gods are evil and need to be stopped. That's it. We don't need to think about the implications this has on Dalish customs and religion. Fuck it, all the Dalish are going to still wear their Vallaslin slave brand tattoos. Let's forget about Trespasser implying Solas was removing them from followers coming to join him. Let's even forget they were likely all told at this point that they are slave brands, nope still going to wear them yet speak blasphemy with every sentence against our Gods. No one cares about Andraste or The Maker or the Chant. Big deal if these Elven Gods contradict the overwhelming majority religion in Thedas. Not a single party member has religious or cultural objections to killing the Elven Gods; not a problem. Not one single elf wants to join Solas in tearing down The Veil and getting immortality again?
Again, let's forget about Trespasser setting up Solas gathering MANY Elven followers from Dalish clans who would be super inclined to join him after experiencing CENTURIES of discrimination and slavery by humans. The better question is what Elves wouldn't join Solas at the start? And what Elves wouldn't look at the other two Gods and go, "meh, maybe we should give them a try. They can't be worse than humans, right?" In DA2 you had elves joining The Qun to escape the discrimination of humans, but not ONE ELF wants to join Solas or Elgar'nan? Those Ancient Elves in the Temple of Mythal? I guess they all died, right?
This extends to EVERY single element of Dragon Age that previously had depth to it, it now has been completely removed. Those murdering Antivan Crows? Oh, they're just good Italian Mob Family that protect their city. Tevinter? Yes, it has poor people, but we're trying to do better. Oh, slavery? No, no we don't show that here. The Qun? The what now? No, they are all Antaam now, and so that means they are all generic evil warlords. No, they don't even attempt to follow their own hardcore view of The Qun like when Templars split from the Chantry, they're just warlords now that like plunder. Dwarves and their rigid Caste society? We don't do that here. Elves and racism across Thedas? Elves used to experience racism? News to me, what's a Shemlen? Never heard of that term, we like all humans. Pirates? That is insensitive, we are Lords of Fortune and we are sure to return any cultural artifacts found to their rightful owners; it belongs in a museum after all. The fucking Fade and spirits? Wait, you mean its different than generic fantasy spirit world? I'm sorry, that's too complicated here.
This either intentional disregard of the lore or plain ignorance also extends to environmental design. The asset reuse from Inquisition is particularly hilarious and must speak to the developers not having time after the switch from MP. Why are the same statues found in Val Royeaux in DAI also in Tevinter and Antiva? Why are those stupid Fen'Harel Wolf statues EVERYWHERE? Even in the catacombs of other Elven Gods! There are no statues of Elgar'nan or Ghilan'nain. Nothing for June or Anduril. Dirthamen. Falon'Din. Nothing. No, the only Gods that seem to get statues are coincidentally the ones who already had assets created for DAI or past titles that could be reused. Hmmm.
This continues into character designs too, why do the Veiljumpers and Shadow Dragons all dress richly? They are supposed to be poor as fuck. There's a codex entry about Veiljumpers finding a lost cache of old ancient elven armor and weapons and so boom they all get to dress like High Elven Lords and not the dirty, poor, wandering Dalish clans they are supposed to come from. Why do this? There isn't even an attempt to explaining why the Shadow Dragons, an organization supposed to be secretive, has branded clothing in bright rich colors and fabrics for all members. Naturally, it must be incredibly difficult for Tevinter authorities to not identify them.
This lack of depth and verisimilitude, naturally, affects all the characters. Because in this game you cannot roleplay and you cannot ask questions. In Dragon Age Inquisition, once you started the game, you could immediately interrogate Varric about what happened to every DA2 character despite the Inquisitor never meeting them, you know because it respects its players. You could speak to shop keepers, blacksmiths, your horse master. You could interrogate every single person to learn more about them and the world. The same goes for your player character in DA2 and Origins. You show in Denermin and find yourself knee deep in a quest to help Wade the Blacksmith craft the perfect armor. Here you can't actually speak to a single shopkeeper to ask questions and get some lore bits. You can't ask party members questions about their background, religious beliefs, upbringing, their factions, etc. You can't ask any returning characters any questions either about what they've been doing. Enter a brand new area? Great, you're not asking anyone questions about this never before seen place.
How does a lost Dwarven thaig survive every single blight? How are their immortal lichs in Neverra? How long has that been a thing? Why haven't they told anyone about the Elven gods or any other knowledge they've accumulated in an immortal lifespan? If immortality is so "easy" why can't Solas just do that to restore the Elves? Why are the Venatori, Tevinter Supremacists, following Elven Gods? Wouldn't that be a major identity crisis? Why would Antaam, who still preach the Qun, follow an Elven God that speaks blasphemy with ever breadth? Sshhhh, no questions. You get what is directly told to you and that's it, no follow-up questions.
Party members do not conflict with each other or interrogate each other's beliefs which is why their banter feels inconsequential and meaningless. Lucanis is a assassin, he kills people for money. The same organization that marked Zevran for death for failing a contract. The same one that took him as a kid and trained him to murder, often brutally, for coin. And yet no one really seems to care. He's just a nice Italian assassin from a nice assassin organization. Who cares. Let's instead talk about cooking, at length. Harding, a devout follower of Andraste, has no qualms with Elven Gods wreaking havoc on known religion. We get one conversation you can tell her to believe what she wants, and that's the end of that debate. Bellara also gets about two whole conversations about the conflict concerning her Gods wreaking havoc, both easily resolved. We don't need to think about any larger implications or doubt her loyalty when the Elven pantheon are seeking to restore her people that have been discriminated against since forever. Emmerich, a necromancer of Neverra, apparently has no religious belief. A codex entry even states that those of the Mourn Watch don't know where the soul goes after death. They don't like to think about it. Buddy, Mortalitasi belief is literally that our souls return to the Void alongside The Maker, but to keep balance a exchange must be wrought with The Fade to allow a spirit to house the now empty vessel. How do you not know the religion and customs of your own faction and land? This man has a whole quest line about funerary rights, yet not ONCE mentions religion and what he believes happens after death?! Sshhhh, no questions. No thinking.
Hey, remember The Fade? Remember how mages go to dream there every night. Remember how The Black City is always visible there? No? Well, we don't either. You won't see The Black City in The Fade. You might see it in The Crossroads in a closed off section, even though it is NOT The Fade. Oh, we're going to have you physically enter The Fade in multiple quest lines and no one will think it's a big deal. No, you still can't see The Black City. Now, The Fade is reduced to nothing more than your generic fantasy spirit world. It has none of the previous rules and lore that bound it before. Demons can bind to non-mages and we won't attempt to explain it. Solas fucks with The Veil and not a single mage notices a change in their dreams when they sleep at night. No biggie.
Lastly, let's return at last to the actual minutiae of writing. I stated at the start the writing isn't bad because of Marvel quippiness, which the series has always had. I was partly lying. Yes, the series has always had anachronistic dialogue. It has had meme language in its own previous titles. But, it was just that, a small joke here and there. For the most part the series actually tried to use it's own sort of "older" speech patterns. I think a perfect example has to do with Taash, she eventually finds her own identity and declares she is proudly "non-binary." Literally stating, "so, I'm non-binary." I have no issue with this sort of inclusivity in Dragon Age, it's what the series is known for. Yet, why does that sound wrong? Simple, it's far too anachronistic. It doesn't belong in Dragon Age. In Inquisition, Dorian let's us know he's gay. But he doesn't say, "I'm gay!" or "I'm a homosexual" those terms would not exist in his world. Instead he says, "I prefer the company of men."
And it's these little subtle changes in writing that makes it feel all the more different. We went from "I once ventured in to The Fade to serve the Old Gods of Tevinter in person. I found there only chaos and corruption. Dead whispers. Now I shall return under no name but my own, to champion withered Tevinter and correct this blighted world gone wrong. Pray that I succeed, for I have seen the throne of the Gods. And it was empty."
To: "Well, shit. That can't be good."
So, what do we have when all is said and done? Well, we have a decent generic fantasy action game. An intentional attempt by the developers to remove every edge from the world of Dragon Age in place of a very simple, easy to understand world with not much depth beyond what you see. You don't need to think, just play and have fun. This is beyond turning a MP game into a SP game, which so blatantly obvious in this game. DA2 was developed in 16 months, but is carried strong by its writing. You see, nothing prevented them from just acknowledging their own world they created. It costs very little to write around what already exists. Even if you can't make no assets or redesign the world. Writing is cheap and having characters voice these elements is not as costly as a redesign. No, they chose to remove the edge in every element because this was design intentionally for the masses with easy to understand world and zero depth.
But I wanted to play Dragon Age. I wanted to get into intense religious debates with party members as known lore is completely upended. I wanted to debate Elvish clans deciding to join Solas or the other Gods due to their treatment by human society. I wanted to debate the ethics of necromancy with the Mortalitasi of Neverra's Crypts. I wanted to engage in intense debating with Solas on the ethics of his goal. I wanted to see Tevinter react to a real push for anti-slavery and actually see the slavery in the slave capital of the world. I wanted to butt heads with the Antivan Crows and call them out for the murderers they are. I wanted to see the Black Divine and debate the Chant of Light with them. I wanted to speak to the Archon of Tevinter and see how he felt about the Venatori's past efforts in Inquisition. Hey, what happened to Meredith Reborn in Kirkwall and her idol and Red Templar worshipers? Forget about it.
We got none of this. I got a game that is pretty much disrespectful of its own world. I waited 10 years for this? Why even bother if this is the result? They may as well have just killed every previous character we ever knew, including Solas, offscreen and started anew with this game. Because as a Dragon Age game and sequel, it's terrible and no returning character is how they should be.
And when we get to the ending, that's pretty much what they did. Everything you did in all the past games? Well, that was pointless. Everyone is probably dead. King Alistair. Gaspard. Celene. King Bhelen. The Arl of Redcliffe. The Divine. The Circle of Magi. The Templars. The Seekers. Everything, everyone, and every organization that existed in the South is likely dead and destroyed. And now Dragon Age can become what they wanted, a generic fantasy IP.
But I just wanted to play Dragon Age.
#dragon age#dragon age critical#dragon age spoilers#I finished this game... and now just mourn the end of a fantasy world that was so much and now is nothing
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THE CYBORG WHO STOLE MY HEART (Bucky X F!reader)
A/N: I know I know, there's another Bucky fanfic that I'm already working on and yet here I am starting a whole new one. Why you ask? Because I'm a dumbass. The idea just popped up into my head and I HAD TO write it down. Hope you enjoy it.
Chapter 1 :
Chapter summary: Bucky and Sam come across a woman who seems to have lost her mind. Literally. Using Bucky’s cyborg brain, they try to figure out who she is.
Chapter warnings: Mild swearing.
You know when you're having a great dream with a hot guy that could only possibly exist in dreams ? The happiness that breathing the same air as him brings you? That's what you were feeling right now.
Eyes as blue as the ocean, veins that were easy to put an IV in and that black shirt phew. Was it possible to drool in dreams? You were going to have a great day once you woke up. That was for sure.
Why was he looking at you like that though? Weren't they supposed to be flirting with you or puckering their lips in your dreams by now? Was this supposed to be a slow burn or enemies to lovers genre dream?
"Why is she staring at me like that?" the hot guy asks the air next to him.
"She's just coming into it, give her a second." it responds back to him.
Wait, what ?
"Are we sure she's alright and not having an absence seizure?" the air voice asks.
"She's alright. Probably in shock." another voice responds.
Shock? From seeing that beautiful man in front of me? Sure.
Okay, focus.
Wait, it's a dream. Why do you need to focus?
Eyes, the colour of piss , come into focus. "Cannn youuu hearrr meee?"
"Why are you speaking like that?" you manage to ask, still trying to figure out if you'd accidentally taken shrooms.
"Not a seizure then." the voice from earlier comments.
Piss eyes looks proud of himself. "I told you, she's in shock."
If this really was a dream, it would have to be the strangest one you have had in a while. What in the actual cockfuck was happening?
"Youu areee in theee hosp-ee-taalll. Weee---" piss eyes sounded like he was having the seizure.
"Stop talking like that." you say, blinking rapidly to clear the dark spots from your eyes. Things were starting to feel more...real. A heaviness settled over your head, every breath seemed to send a slight sliver of pain through your side and your arm felt numb.
Dreams weren't usually ultra-realistic, were they? Only one way to find out now.
"Is she...pinching herself?" hot guy asks, that strange look on his face.
A set of cold hands clamp your hands down.
"HEY." you say, the slight sting of your pinch confirming your doubts.
"Self hurt or mutilation can be a side effect. We need to restrain her for her own safety." Piss eyes speaks rapidly and you hear him muttering to himself.
"I'm not...is this not a dream?" you finally ask leaving the room in pin drop silence.
"I don't think so...unless Wanda is upto something again." air voice sounds a bit unsure himself.
"Wanda?" the name seemed familiar but in this state , you could barely remember your own name.
You try to get up only to be gently pushed back down by piss eyes. "You probably shouldn't be doing that. Bed rest for the next 10 days, I'm afraid." he says not sounding apologetic about it at all.
"What even happened? And---" you're cut off by air voice.
"Where are you? Well, the Avengers compound. Now, don't get too excited and all. We can make you sign a NDA , but we aren't going to because we're hoping you're trustworthy. Stark said you might be...useful. Now, if you're feeling upto it, how the hell did you end up in the middle of a cemetry half dead?"
You blinked once, twice, thrice.
"Who is Stark?"
"Listen, man. She's got to be living under a rock if she doesn't know who Stark is. That guy has been stuffed down everyone's fucking throat." Sam tells Bucky as he takes off he looks at their new visitor.
Bucky doesn't respond and instead stares at Sam with a poker face.
"What's going on in that cyborg brain of yours?" Sam isn't phased by Bucky and his staring anymore. He was however very sure that Bucky would not be bringing home any ladies with that serial killer look.
"What if she's lying?" Bucky finally says, turning to look at the CCTV recording of the room you were in. You were sleeping again, knocked out by the pain killers.
"Lying about not knowing Stark or not being able to remember what happened to her?"
"Both."
"What purpose does that serve her?"
"Well, that's what we're supposed to find out."
“How exactly are you planning on doing that?” Crossing his arms over his chest , Sam raised an eyebrow at his cyborg friend.
“I’ll think about it.” Bucky walked past him, grabbing his jacket on the way. “With my cyborg brain.”
“I understand that you want to get some answers��� you said for what seemed like the 100th time, exasperation taking hold of you. “I honestly cannot remember what happened. I’ve thought myself into a headache. I’m sorry, okay?”
Sam looked defeated as he let he shook his head. “It’s been two whole days. Now, I don’t want to seem like a dick and question you in this state but we need some goddamn answers.”
“Too late for that I guess.” you muttered under your breath.
“Huh?”
“She said ‘too late for that I guess.’” The hot guy, Bucky, was his name chimed in.
How the hell did he hear that? As if reading the question on your face, he simply said “Advanced hearing.”
Okkayyyy.
Sam on the other hand was giving you a flat look. You gave him one back.
“I’m feeling much better now. Can I atleast get out of this damn bed?” you scratched near the iv line, wanting to just rip it out. “Piss eyes told me I shouldn’t but I cannot stay like this.”
“Piss eyes?” Sam was clearly running out of patience.
“The doc. Is he even a doctor? He’s very…”
“Sort of.”
That explains it.
“She’s right.” Bucky takes a step forward, looking at Sam. “Walking around will help her recover faster.”
“THANK YOU. See , I knew you were the smart one.” you give him a wide smile to which you get a poker face in return. Embarrassing. Not letting it deter you, you pull the iv out.
“Hey !!” Sam steps forward, surprised at your show of stupidity.
Before he can reach you to help you out of bed, you’ve already stood up. Which was another stupid move considering that the entire room was spinning around. Holding on to the wall next to you for support, you blinked rapidly.
“That’s another concussion waiting to happen.” Bucky commented dryly.
After regaining some semblance of direction, you managed to stand up straight ignoring the slight stab of pain in your chest.
“Much better.” you say, taking a step forward. The pastel pink tee and pants that had been given to you did not compliment your current condition, you knew. To be quite frank, you were a good looking woman too. Always have been. Then why the hell was Bucky looking at you like he was going to stab you right then and there?
“Uhhh…now what?” your suddenly felt extremely awkward in front of the two men.
“Don’t ask me, you were the one who wanted to do this.” Sam still had an arm out, ready to jump into action in case you cracked your head on the tiles again. Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed Bucky make a slight movement. Thank fuck you did because the next thing you knew , you were holding a dagger 2 inches away from your chest by the handle.
Silence engulfed the room for a good 20 seconds before it was broken by a very calm “What. The. Fuck.” from Sam.
You looked at Bucky who stood in the same spot like nothing shocking had even happened. Finally a crack of a smile appeared on his face.
“Told you she was lying.”
#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes#bucky barnes x reader#bucky x f!reader#bucky x female reader#bucky x y/n#bucky x you#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barnes fic#james bucky barnes#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes x female reader#bucky x reader
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My best talent as a fanfic writer is that I am basically 'the little engine who could'- of screwing myself..
...and never learning from my mistakes.
I've been writing for years but I still
Spend more time day dreaming about the plot in my head instead of writing it
Give into the urge to start a new WIP when 99 plus 100 others are waiting 😅
Write several fanfics at once and get the names of my characters mixed up
Get so excited about sharing a work that I post after editing only a few times, then die if embarrassment later when I re-read and see the typos
Go with a storyline minus planning and even post the story, then write myself into a damn corner. Every. Damn.time 🙄
Let myself get excited about a new WIP when I know that that will only kill my fire for the one I've started posting already. My readers are waiting for an update and now I feel like sh*t.
Get more excited about planning to write and creating a playlist for my writing than actually writing.
Am I going to work on these bad habits and improve????? 😂😂😂Of course not.
I'm going to half a** this thing just to get through the day as usual. That's the true fate of an author who has accepted that joy is pain in writing 🤝
#fanfiction#ao3 writer#writing#writer problems#fanfiction writing#writer life#writing community#writer woes#writers on tumblr#writing struggles#writing humor#writing horror#writing habits#writing heals#writing help#writblr
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.
#I’ve been so happy with my job recently#working for a small company is the best#I was really waiting to ‘get my foot in the door’ somewhere#and that’s exactly what happened#I have so much freedom#but also respect and responsibility#I got promoted#and a raise#and I just am actually excited to go to work every day#our company has so much potential and room to grow#rant over#I think I’m high#so happy to be doing something more technical now#and getting paid to learn
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SO EP 54 HUH
#im going crazy methinks#already working on smth for it!#SPOILERS IN THE REST OF THE TAGS BEWARE!!#also just me rambling on and on! i should make a tag for that#actually begging people to stop going into dark suspicious alleyways#SPINEL IS THERE. EVERY TIME. WHEN WILL YOU ALL LEARN#sidenote i am SO excited for more friede and spinel#like not even just for shipping their interactions are always so fun. two of the smartest/strongest up against each other?? yes please!#AND LAB SPINEL#ive been waiting so long for this day#i actually have some old lab spinel art from when they mentioned him and agate in the labs together#my dream has finally come true#ramblings#boring tag for now but i dont feel like coming up with anything better rn :p#pokemon horizons#pokeani#anipoke
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am i autistic or am i just paranoid. level: impossible
#seeing a friend of mine for the first time in 2 years but it was at a 9hr work training and i barely talked to him the whole time#so i text our gc multiple times bc im excited#but everyones drained from the day#so am i being a good loving kind person or am i being annoying as hell#my brain says the first one and my gut says the second#i also might have a big fat crush on this man (he is unfairly attractive and kind and funny and TALL)#so i may be overreacting bc of that#i just missed him and now my big fat crush on him is bigger and fatter than ever#at the end of our first summer he hugged me tight and told me he loved me (platonically)#then he asked if i was coming back and i said yes without any hesitation#and then he didnt come back#so ive been going on 2 years of stewing in this fucking crush soup and now im just#tumblr is the only place where i can talk abt this no one important in my life can know this#no one#i just really like him#and i wanna be around him all the time#and i wanna sit with him and talk to him and laugh with him#and help him with stuff#and i have not had an actual crush on someone since my sophomore and junior year of high school#which was 4 and 5 years ago at this point#this guy also kept staring at me from across the room and everytime i would glace in his direction he would look away#and every time i would get a glimpse of him at training i could physically feel the butterflies#hell#every time i even thought about the fact that we were in the same general area i would get butterflies#this never happens to me and its such a weird feeling#would you be so kind by dodie is the anthem of the hour rn#and i know there's a huge part of me that thinks i am unlovable bc of how i look#and ive never had anyone love me or even like me enough to initiate any kind of anything#ive been on one date in my life#never been kissed never had sex
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I'm about to be so annoying btw
#by this I mean I'm going to talk about my job until it's no longer new and exciting sorry guys#but this is literally the first good thing to happen to me in MONTHS#shit has been so bad like SO unbelievably bad for a WHILE#like. not only do I have a job (!!!!!!) but it actually seems like a really good fit for me and what I need#like. the hours aren't horrible and in fact I could stand to have more of them#the pay isn't *good* but it's not the worst I've ever made for sure#the work environment though... that's where it gets me. because I get to just be one guy in a store interacting with customers and literally#nobody else#for most of my workday#like. no small talk except for with customers. no learning about my coworker's stupid life. no trying to get along with someone for the sake#of work#like. I just get to be alone and sell shit and when it's slow I get to organize shit like. hello??? yes please#I don't have to be micromanaged because I'm literally alone. like. god I'm so excited#plus it's similar to work I've done before. so. yay#I do really like the coworker I've met before though. he's very sedate and has excellent customer service.#which I know bc every time my mom shops there and he's the one working he's very genial and nice#definitely good at his job. but I wouldn't be surprised if he was getting high in the back or something lmao#he's just so calm ive never met a dude more chill like. he seems like the exact opposite of anxious#and then my other coworker I haven't met yet but I'm sure she's fine.#I do like my boss though! and she's only my boss until they get another manager bc she's actually the manager at another location too#she's just filling in here while they look for another manager#but I like her she was extremely up-front and no-nonsense and plainly stated exactly what she needs from an employer#employee*#which is honestly such a relief like my last job I felt like I had no clue what people wanted from me and it was horrible#but this seems better so far#also I know for a fact I beat out two other people who had interviews the same day and I was so much the preferred choice#that she didn't even wait to decide or anything#she called me like a few hours after my interview ended like. that 3rd person left and she immediately hired me instead lol#which I have to admit does feel good after so long feeling inadequate and unhirable.#I am more hirable than at least two people. so THERE
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extremely frustrating situation
#overly long winded explanation incoming#so i’m gonna be living with two friends starting this fall#my parents bought a little townhouse and we’re renting from them#so they’re getting all of the paperwork and contracts and leases figured out#and these two friends are just. awful with deadlines. horrific. just the worst.#my dad has been flexible but he’s had to keep nagging them again and again to get these forms signed and whatever#and one of them finally finished the whole process and she’s good to go#but the other one still just needs to get the lease signed/notarized with their dad. like. asap. like within a few days.#and i’m trying my best to be like heyyyy sorryyyy not trying to nag or anything but we do need that ASAP…. it should be quick and easy…#i know you’re working double shifts every single day and your dog just died im so sorry#but my parents say you should be able to just go to the bank during a lunch break to get it notarized…..#please don’t be mad at me or my parents for saying we need this Now…… i’m sorry i know you have a lot going on but we do Need that done#right away….#anyway i don’t want you to be mad at me or think i’m just nagging so here’s a topic change! oh you didn’t respond to the topic change.#fuck me then. god. i can’t tell if you’re mad at me or not but i have the suspicion you Are. and that’s making Me mad at You#like god man just come the fuck on already you’ve missed every other deadline up to this point too. can you please just FUCKING get#everything submitted so we can stop worrying about it and just get excited to live together!! because it’s gonna be fun!!#but it’s worrying me too bc like… if this is how they’re acting before we’re even living together#and they’re missing all of these deadlines#am i gonna have to nag them to pay their rent every month?#it’s just frustrating bc it feels like they’re taking advantage of the fact that it’s my parents and not some other landlord#so they don’t think the deadlines my parents set are like. actual deadlines#meanwhile if it WASNT my parents they’d literally be out of a place to live because the housing market is so fucked there#and if you don’t get everything submitted within The Day then you’re no longer a candidate to rent the place#if you can even get to that point in the first place#so like. my parents are being exceptionally flexible and obv i can’t really know what this friend’s thought process is#but it feels like they’re just kinda taking them for granted and taking advantage of their kindness#like fuck dude just please come on
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im being so serious besties i am not cut out for academia
#like yes i know ive had a very uniquely shit experience in doing a degree i actively not only hate but also am BAD AT#but also i just. cannot hack it#'but hella you go mental and pessimistic every single exam period' i know that but. im right also#like the other day i said to my mum how much ive just been enjoying my job recently#and how huge a deal that is bc i HATE my hometown and ive never ever considered my time here as possibly being good#and my 20s will hopefully be a lot of travelling but in between that to save easier im gonna live at home#so i dont have to worry about rent so alas that means when im saving up for my next trip I WILL BE IN MY HOMETOWN#and as excited as i am for my twenties that is one huge downside to me but i was really cheerfully saying to my mum#that literally for the first time ever ive considered it might not be too bad bc lately i have just enjoyed my job#like i enjoy the people and the work and the lifestyle of it and while it's never gonna be ideal as a means to an end it's actually good#and instead of focussing on that she went OFF on one about how she wants me to stay in education and keep getting qualifications#and she was like 'you could do an english degree you've always wanted to do english or how about open university-'#and i was just sat there blinking at her like girl.... no#like i could FEEL myself shutting down like the terror of having to return to this environment when ive got my sight so set#on that 'one more year and im done one more year and im done' mindset like that has been the only thing getting my through#is that im halfway through the course now so im closer to the other end than i am the beginning and if i can just push through#ill be free from it for the rest of my life. so the thought of immediately returning to academia even for a subject i adore? i felt ILL#and my mum apologised the next day without me even having to say anything bc she realised she kinda bulldozed me there#but i just know whether it's the adhd or ive actually been traumatised by this econ degree#(<- and im being serious there like ik 'traumatised' is a big loaded word but idk what else to use#and this degree has done so so much damage to me like it has convinced me that i am fundamentally a stupid person#to the point i refuse to add up bills when with friends or do answer any sort of intellectual question even if i KNOW i know the answer#bc ive just gone so so long of being bad at the only subject im studying like just SURROUNDED by it and being bad at it relentlessly#and i dont think people realise how damaging it is to very simply just... feel stupid all the time. but oh my god i used to be so confident#and bright and now i wont even do basic addition in front of people)#i really truly dont think i can do this again in any capacity. like the constant exams and studying and assignments#i just cant do it. maybe i just need a year or two away from it after this degree but my goddddd rn i cant see it#yes it's exam time for me can u tell. it always makes me existential and on the verge of vomiting at any given moment#i hate it here i hate it here i hate it here i dont care about iterated deletion of strictly dominated strategies shut the fuck up#hella goes to uni
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:D
#the bin#my family is coming over in less than an hour#i really dont wanna see my dad but im very excited to see everyone else#i wish i wasnt working every other day theyll be here#maybe ill call out on thursday sibce i need to go do smth for my other job after work that day anyway#i really shouldnt but i think ill mention it to my mom and maybe she will offer to give me a bit so i can take that day off and afford it#or maybe ill just say im still feeling sick or whatever. which i am actually but its tolerable i guess.
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please please please just three more weeks and ill be working back in my hometown and going to night shift so maybe i won’t be so exhausted anymore maybe i will be more than just a shell of a human being during the day
#jake and i are pretty much ready to move out of the apartment we share with my sister and her boyfriend#but in order to do that i actually have to have the time and energy to look#i’m really really excited to finally have a space i can call my own#i hate getting up so early and then driving home 2 ½ hours every day#my gym coach at work is like ‘you know you can also get up before work and do your cardio!’ brother you get up at 10 am. i get up at 3 am.#im not doing that.#plus with the family ferret passing away ive been so sad. keep coming home and passing out on the couch and having nightmares#i literally had a nightmare that my friends just all of a sudden stopped talking to me and then i went outside and fucking. 9/11 happens#except it’s nuclear. which in retrospect is really funny. but in the moment i was like oh my god im going to die#all i could think of was not being able to say goodbye to jake wherever he was
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I do love how I bought xmas gifts last week, got home, then shoved them in my closet to not look at or think about at all. Like "done with YOU for now. Bye."
#speculation nation#i should check on them to make double check i got everything and that nothing broke in the bike ride home lmfao#i literally just remembered it tho#went thru the heartbreak of paying large sum of money and was like 'ok time to not think about u for half a week'#i had. help. with the money actually.#it's a little hilarious lmfao. but like it's not like i broke my own bank or w/e#im just allergic to spending large sums of money all at once. whether or not it's money i actually earned </3#ft me making orders for work & my eyes kinda bugging out seeing the like hundreds or even over a thousand dollar orders#on food items like every week#me starting out like 'what do you MEAN it's $40 for a box of milk?!?!??! HELLO????"#i feel like their prices r horribly marked up. but then again this is not my money and so i do not truly care lmfao#...anyways yea i got gifts but they are hiding. from both the world and from me. i do not want to see them.#im a lil excited for gift wrapping tho. i love wrapping my presents in increasingly stupid & creative ways#if i have any fun ideas this year i may just post the final forms. maybe.#this isnt in a way of like. making cool wrapping jobs that look like other things#im utter dogshit at wrapping and i dont care to learn how to make them pretty. so i just do whatever the fuck i want#my family has learned to expect it. if they see an eccentricly wrapped present under the tree they KNOW it's from me#practically my brand at this point. and i would hate to disappoint ❤#i have one more day of work and then i go on break and i am so READY for it. filled with thoughts of having free time. ouughh
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Getting blasted and watching lucky star while packing to travel was not how I planned my week going, but here I am.
#yapping#i am working every day until tuesday and i still have a lot to do 😪#hopefully i dont die#im just excited to go on an actual vacation with my partner and relax#i already know im going to have a lot of fun
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It is very hard for me to change oc designs for some reason but i had a great idea for one and it actually is motivating me to figure out how to draw him
#hes uh#literally my oldest oc that i still claim#HE WAS REALLY FORMATIVE FOR ME#i would not be the person i am today w/o him#and yet#i never talk about him#hes super important to me#hes a human oc which is why i havent drawn him since highschool fjdbsnnensns#i have only drawn like 1 other human oc like ever#not counting a couple newer ocs where i had a really good art day and went wild#orc lady with a giant gator like dragon companion!!! i love her sm#anyways im running off of 3 hours of sleep and rambling#im so excited for this design change it works SO WELL#guy in his late 40s who was an adventurer in his youth before having twins and adopting his niece#best way to describe him is hes thick and burly. he used to just be man shaped#i do not understand humans and i DEFINITELY do not understand men so i had no idea what to do with him#hes gotten a little fat but he could still easily fight and is still super strong#teaches his kids how to use a sword from a young age#his sons and niece go off to be adventures too#but with different outcomes. the twins just have fun on the road the niece ends up being the chosen one or w/e#i want to talk about them so much but every time i talk about my ocs in depth i second guess everything and scrap it all#actually have 2 ocs i drew and thought about constantly and once i talked about their story i just#never drew them again#no longer had the passion
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Casual Chaos: Tim Drake’s Makeup Stream
Danny, known to the internet as Nebula, had been teasing a special stream for weeks. Fans were buzzing with excitement and theories, especially when the announcement popped up: “Doing My Boyfriend’s Makeup!” Naturally, the chat erupted into chaos. Danny was pretty private about his love life, so this reveal had the fandom on edge.
When the stream finally went live, Danny greeted his audience with his usual laid-back grin. “Okay, today’s the day. Let’s see if I’m any good at this,” he said, spinning a makeup brush between his fingers. “But first, let me introduce you to my boyfriend.”
The camera panned, and there he was—Tim Drake, sitting there as if this was the most normal thing in the world. No big introduction, no fanfare. Just Tim, giving a small, nonchalant wave.
“WAIT. IS THAT TIM DRAKE???”
“Like… THE Tim Drake??”
“No way he’s dating Nebula, what is happening???”
Danny, fully aware of the chaos brewing in the comments, didn’t even acknowledge it. He just turned to Tim. “Ready for your makeover, babe?”
Tim shrugged, totally calm. “Let��s do it.”
As Danny started applying makeup, the chat kept freaking out, but the two of them acted like it was just another Saturday. In Gotham, though, it was a different story. The Bat's group chat was blowing up:
Dick: “TIMOTHY JACKSON DRAKE-WAYNE, EXPLAIN YOURSELF.”
Jason: “How does a nerd like you land Nebula of all people???”
Steph: “I AM CRYING. HOW DID I NOT KNOW THIS?!!”
Damian: “This is unacceptable. Drake, I demand an explanation.”
Bruce: [Typing…]
But Tim? Unfazed. He ignored the constant buzzing of his phone and sat still as Danny carefully lined his eyes and added a touch of mascara, keeping up casual chatter with the stream.
“You know,” Danny said, holding up a shade of lipstick, “Tim’s got this effortless model thing going on. I’m just enhancing what’s already there.”
Tim raised an eyebrow, smirking. “I didn’t exactly sign up to be your runway star.”
“Wait… he’s actually REALLY pretty??”
“Tim Drake is hot, confirmed.”
“LOOK AT HIS CHEEKBONES OMG.”
As Danny finished the look, adding some extra blush and a light gloss, the reaction was immediate. The chat was losing it. Tim glanced at himself in the mirror, barely reacting. “Well… I don’t hate it.”
Danny leaned back, admiring his work. “Not bad, right?”
Meanwhile, back in Gotham, the bats were still going wild.
Steph: “Tim, you better show up to every gala looking like this from now on.”
Jason: “You’ve been holding out on us with this face, man.”
Dick: “This is ICONIC.”
Bruce: “We’ll need to discuss this later.”
Tim finally glanced at his phone and snorted at all the messages. “They’re never going to let this go, are they?”
Danny just grinned at the camera. “Probably not. So… next time, you'll do my makeup, right?”
The chat, of course, exploded all over again.
#brain dead#dead tired#tim drake#danny phantom#batfam#dc x dp#danny fenton#danny is a famous streamer#but this is totally unrelated to my previous streamer post#tim would look absolutely amazing in full glam and i dont take criticism#i think he'd also be pretty decent at doing dannys makeup#surprise reveals#i think people see danny as pretty untouchable regarding dating and stuff#so the fact that he's dating tim makes no sense at all but also the most sense ever#because of course its tim drake but also??? tim?? really??
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Your brain is massive and your opinions are correct. I fucking LOVE SA2 and Shadow bro 😭 Last time I revisited my Sonic era I was trying to unlock training mode in Shadow by A-ranking all the missions and bosses. SA2/Shadow/Sonic Heroes/Sonic Riders were the ones I replayed (and still do every couple of years) the most :)
my god PLEAAASSE THE TRAINING/EXPERT MODE IN SHADOW i love how the hints just fuck off and are replaced by the cast chattin with shadow.... like black doom the fuck are you doin talkin to me you are dead.... leave me alone.....
as a part of my All-326-Routes playthrough of shadow im SO stoked to unlock that mode again for the first time in like. A Decade... i've just been clearing out all the routes from the very top all the way down but i might just A-rank all the levels and routes first just to get the mode..
the adventure games + shadow are my faves to play honestly like as much as i still do like sonic games nowadays i just really enjoyed that 3d free-roaming aspect of the gamecube era games (and even 06: just wish it wasnt such a glitchy mess and i was more of a fan of the models/art style)
PLUS WITH THE ADVENTURE GAMES YOU HAVE THE CHAOS LIKE WHY DID THEY GET RID OF THEM BRING THEM BACK !!!!! THEY WERE SO CUTE
#snap chats#you cant escape Sonic Kid era like every couple years ill be like#'oh my god i have a gamecube that still works' and ill just replay all them games#Hot Take i did enjoy big's campaign.... idk..... maybe its cause his vibes are immaculate .. im glad he's in frontiers <3<3<3#im actually really stoked for the coming months because my fam and i've had sonic heroes for years right#but we only have it for the original xbox and we lost THAT a long while ago so i can't play it and it's just been taunting me all this time#BUT THEN I REMEMBER i am an adult with adult money. Sometimes. i can just buy my own gamecube copy#i have to start shilling my commissions more on twitter since i wanna get it before i go back to school#yk. so i can be a responsible student and play it when i have down time LMAO BUT EEEE IM SO EXCITED#yk whats a game i miss sooooo much tho.... i lost my copy of sonic chronicles....#I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW LIKE I STILL HAVE THE CASE i might just buy a new game card then....#that does mean ill have to start all over but.. thats ok.. sonic chronicles was SOO fun to me growing up.. i miss shade so much..#gen one of my fave sonic characters she was so cool and i loved her design and helmet so much#SPEAAAAKING OF ONE OFF CHARACTERS I MISS YK WHO I MISS THE MOST THO gamma.....#gamma was what introduced me to sad character stories i SWEAR LIKE THAT SHIT MADE ME SO SAD#i miss him eveyr day like i know he can never come back and that's a good thing cause Birdie's Parents Are OK BUT STILLLLL#my baby..... at least omega's here.... and he can threaten eggman every five minutes......#but when youre playing SA2 and you have to fight the robots modeled after gamma THATS SO EVIL STOP#UGH i love gamma sorry... but im not.. gamma was like. sega dippin their te into existentialism in sonic...#and then shadow was born LMAO tho i guess you can count metal sonic too if we wanna look at the sonic movie from the like. 90's#GOD I HOPE I STILL HAVE THAT DVD SOMEWHERE I LOVED THAT MOVIE SO MUCH GROWING UP it has the CUTEST artstyle#and knuckles' lil hat... ALSO METAL SONIC DYING AT THE END STOP when he bats sonic's hand away... metal bb come back...#and i mean at least he does but yk..... be nice to him..... he's going through a lot... he won't express it but i know he is...#OK SONIC RAMBLE DONE I SWEAR THANK YOU FOR WRITING IN ANON AND LETTING ME BE A DWEEB I JUST LOVE SONIC RAAAH#i have to end my ramble fr im running out of tags... now we'll never know of my chao gardens.......#OK BYE BYEEEE
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