#and I hope the same applies to you
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I don't know if you still do advice but, I feel stuck. I didn't know what I wanted to do for college in high school. Now I feel like I have nowhere to go.
Hi anon, I think a lot of people can relate to you (or at least I can). Many- if not most- people don’t have life figured out at 18 and know exactly what they want from it. What I’ve learned over the years is that, deciding on a college degree or whether or not you go to college at all, while still an important decision, will not define the rest of your life. People change degrees all the time. They drop-out, re-enroll, take a gap year, go back to college after seven years or just start going for the first time at 52. There’s always going to be an infinite amounts of paths you can take, and none of them are wrong. All you can do is take a guess at which one you deem best suited for you (this could mean: the one you’ll enjoy the most, the one that will help you achieve a certain goal, the one that best suits your skillset or whatever else you want it to mean). You will never know for sure before trying it, so don’t beat yourself up for not making the ‘right’ decision. A choice that seemed smart at first, might get you stuck at a later point. A very lousy period may lead to a great opportunity. So, I guess if you’re feeling stuck, all you need to do is get moving, irrespective of what way you go.
#i really hope this helps#i ofcourse don’t know your specific situation#and what is feasible for you#but life’s proven to be more flexible than I had imagined at 18#and I hope the same applies to you#this was something I used to be so anxious about#i spent the entirety of my senior year researching college degrees#and then decided the final week of summer vacation#but honestly it was more of a random pick as I was still indecisive#then you get the same issue after graduating college#and guess what#i went on to grad school cause I still don’t know what I want to do after this#but whatever it is#it’ll be a new experience and I’m excited about it now rather than nervous#so what I’m trying to do here I guess is#turning your anxiety over these decisions in excitement#it really doesn’t matter what you do#as long as you do something
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Imagine Gale as a talented and impressive young man, able to compose the Weave at will, skilled in a way that few can match, and favored by the Goddess of Magic herself. Imagine that because of these accomplishments, he’s caught the eye of a few up-and-coming magic adepts, and he falls in love with one of them—his first real love. Gale isn’t one to toss the ‘L’ word around lightly, so when he tells them he loves them, he means it; he gives himself over to them completely.
And in return, they love him for his potential. For his status. For the magic he can command. They love the wizard they see on the surface, but not the man underneath. They are attracted to his power, but not to him.
So of course the relationship fails, after the thrill of his magic wears off. But because Gale is a resilient young man and he’s caught the eye of so many, he soon falls in love with another.
And then it happens again. And again.
And each time Gale’s heart is ravaged, his ambition to become a better wizard grows, because he’s being shown time and time again that his magic ability is all that matters.
So much so that, by the time Mystra decides to elevate him from Favored to Chosen to Lover, he welcomes her with eager, desperate arms. Because if all his worth is in his magic, and that’s all he has to offer, and that’s all anyone wants from him, who better to love him than the Goddess of Magic herself?
Except…there’s a nagging voice in the back of his head that whispers she doesn’t really love him. There’s anxiety in his heart as time passes, and he reaches both the limit of what his talents can do and what Mystra will allow him to do. And most troubling of all: a growing panic that, just like his other lovers, she will soon grow tired of him and discard him if he can’t improve his magic any further.
He tries pouting, and pleading, and begging her to let him take more power, to let him be more for her, but she refuses. Smiles patronizingly. Tells him to be patient. But Gale can’t be patient when his power is tied so closely to his self-worth; he can’t be patient when doing so in the past has only ever lead to heartache.
So he does what he believes will be a Grand Romantic Gesture, one that will finally put him on equal footing with the woman he loves. Instead, it turns out to be a folly that dooms him and destroys his talents. And just as he’d always feared, Mystra tosses him aside the moment his magical gifts are gone—because what’s left of him holds no value for her.
————
Imagine Gale in his tower, alone, afraid, the ever-hungry orb in his chest, with only his tressym there to help him. No other friends to speak of. His colleagues forced to keep away for their own safety. His magical talents utterly stripped down, so that even when he does try and distract himself with illusions, he’s bitterly reminded of what he used to be capable of. Waking every morning wondering if it will be his last, ending every day full of loneliness and disappointment.
…and then he meets Tav.
At the lowest point in his life, at his most vulnerable, when he knows he’s going to be considered a burden, he meets this stranger and their group. So he does what he can to be useful—assigning himself to be camp cook, offering up his (now meager) magic skills, turning the charm up to 11—as he desperately hopes this will somehow work out. He’s pleasantly surprised when, after providing only minor details of his condition, Tav agrees to help him. He’s even more surprised when they actually follow through.
Imagine how Gale feels as Tav treats him kindly. As he grows to trust Tav, and then grows to like them. Imagine his surprise as he opens up and shows them more and more of himself, and they don’t turn him away.
But then his condition worsens. And he has to reveal everything: the foolish mistakes he’s made, and how dangerous he is as a result. He clings to Tav’s hand as he shows them his folly. He’s at their mercy now, and he knows this might be the last time he’ll ever feel the touch of another being, if they decide—and Gods, why wouldn’t they decide?—to cast him out.
…but they don’t. They don’t. Instead, they tell him to stay.
Imagine the relief Gale feels. The gratitude. And perhaps…just a hint of something more. Something that he dare not name, but that flares to life every time he thinks of how warm their hand was in his. Something that feels dangerously close to jealousy, when he’s had too much to drink and sees Tav smiling at another…
But he knows these are all foolish thoughts, because he has nothing to offer Tav. They are wonderful just as they are, but he…he is an empty shell of a man, a discarded husk of a wizard, and while they might tolerate him, he could never believe they might actually want him.
And besides, he still thinks of Mystra. He still longs for Mystra. She who cast him out, but to whom he still feels tethered. Sometimes he needs to cocoon himself in the weave, just to try and calm his fears and bring some joy back to his life, because magic is his life. And sometimes he just needs to see her face, even though that hurts as much as it heals.
One night he’s lost in thought, having conjured Mysta’s image after settling down at camp. Thinking that even if she hadn’t ‘loved’ him—certainly not in the way he’d loved her—she’d given him enough otherwise, hadn’t she? She’d amused him and been amused by him, they’d shared countless pleasures, why hadn’t he been satisfied with that?
Gale is so lost in thought he doesn’t realize Tav has come up behind him. Until they ask a question, startling him out of his trance. He’s a bit shaken, so he tries to turn the conversation from Mystra to the weave itself. And then a wonderful idea occurs to him, something that he’d been toying with already: what if they were to conjure the weave together?
He can show Tav how important magic is to him, let them experience what he does, perhaps even impress them a bit. But most importantly, share a moment with them. As friends would do…
He’s elated when Tav agrees. He leads them through the steps effortlessly, and they’re a surprisingly good student, following his instructions correctly (if a bit clumsily). He’s as excited as they are—perhaps even more so!—when they succeed in channeling the weave.
It’s such a pleasant, familiar feeling for him, like coming home to his tower in Waterdeep. Even as the weave connects him with Tav and makes them one, he’s easily able to hide his innermost thoughts, because he’s done it so many times before.
…but he’s forgotten that Tav has not.
————
Imagine Gale knowing every romantic partner he ever had only wanted him because of how he could raise their status, or how he could amuse them, or how he could command magic for them. And, each time, he was happy to oblige them, even desperate to oblige them, because if that was the price of their love, then he was sure it would be worth it.
But it still all came to nothing.
Now imagine Gale connected in an intimate way with someone he likes very, very much—while being what he considers his lowest, most worthless, and most humbled self. As far from the powerful, impressive wizard he once was as he could ever be. And suddenly a vision enters his mind from the lovely creature standing next to him. Only, to his complete and utter shock, it isn’t one where he is providing them with a service, or wowing them with his magical ability, or granting them some kind of power from one of the spells he commands.
Instead, when he sees their desire laid bare before him, it’s a vision of kissing him. Of holding his hand. The two most basic forms of affection and physical connection. The two things that he would still be able to offer them even if every last ounce of his remaining magical abilities were stripped from him. The two things he could share with them even if he was no longer Gale of Waterdeep, and just plain old Gale Dekarios instead.
Imagine the embarrassment and trepidation he feels at first, because surely he is mistaken?…and then the elation when he realizes that he is not. So much elation that his concentration is broken, the weave dissipating as he forgets about channeling it, as he forgets about Mystra. Because all that matters to him now is the image before him—the most pleasant and welcome image he’s seen in a very, very long time.
Imagine how that would feel…and how besotted, enamored and completely devoted he’d be to Tav afterwards. To know that someone finally—finally—just wants him.
Just imagine.
#Please enjoy this huge dissertation about Gale#(which was unintentional)#I originally wanted to talk briefly—BRIEFLY—about why the weave scene is so important to him#And then I….kept writing lol#Please also note that while this focuses on successfully channeling the weave I also LOVE the talk you have with him if you ‘failed’ it!#The same themes apply there because when you tell Gale you still think about being alone together he replies that he hopes to embrace you#It’s all about Gale finally finding someone who appreciates him just as he is and being able to connect with them#gale of waterdeep#gale dekarios#baldur's gate 3#gale x tav#bg3
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Living together.
The snail video if you are interested :)
#showing random videos you found abt an animal fun fact is a love language if you didn't know btw#not understanding a topic and starting with drop out ideation is part of the journey when you are a student.#it evolves later (or simultaneously) with wanting to quit your job. in WW case both apply at the same time#vash is the kind of guy to really be marveled abt every little new piece of information he gets in his hands#and the 1st person he thinks abt to share his knowledge and joy with is ofc ww#the fact that they live together only amplified this by a thousand#ww tends to hear him out and also watch more videos with him. rn he's too busy weighing studying vs quitting#I really enjoyed drawing Vash in the bg for this one he's so cute#i hope its noticeable how much fun i am having by putting them through all of this.#why didn't i do this more since earlier???#aesthetics be damned. put them THROUGH -IT-#trigun#vash the stampede#trigun stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#vashwood#trigun fanart#vash#wolfwood#nicholas trigun#lenssi draws#Trigun Uni! AU#made some very light changes that were bothering only me specifically. you might not notice IWDFJK
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the thing i love about bill cipher is that even after i've learned all of this stuff about him, seen him at the most vulnerable he'll ever get, seen him at his most innocent, i still can't give a flying fuck about trying to justify his actions. yes he's traumatized, yes he was twisted into what we know today, and while it gives a semblance of context to why he did what he did, it doesn't matter. he still ruined ford's life. he still drove and baited multiple humans to suicide. he still tormented every human he saw as his ticket out of the consequences of his own actions. he still took delight in his actions. he was willing to commit genocide for fuck's sake!!! (freezing all of the humans into statues). trying to explain away what he did does not get rid of what he did, but it certainly puts it in perspective. you won't be catching me being a bill apologist any time soon <3
#gravity falls#bill cipher#the book of bill#pleaseeee dont kill me guys#also if anyone tries to twist this and apply it to ford i WILL be setting myself on fire#because like. i've seen many people hate on him because of what he did objectively#but the difference between ford and bill is that ford did not LIKE it. let me break down things ford has done @ stan that ppl dont like:#1: he was the favorite child hands down (not ford's fault. he was a kid. he was shoved into the role by his father)#2: considering leaving stan behind for west coast tec (which we dont even know was his intention. what if he wanted to bring stan with him?#what if he was going to ultimately turn the offer down? what if he went and still kept touch anyway? speaking as a guy who grew up#gifted in a poor neighborhood; college is your TICKET outta there. you'd do anything to do so--BACK ON TRACK)#3: didnt defend stan when he was being kicked out (he thought stan sabotaged his and his fams ticket out of poverty. of COURSE he's pissed!#also he was 17. of COURSE in the moment he wasnt going to take his scrawy ass and stand up to his 6'6 abusive ass of a father. would YOU?#4: told stan to take the journal (ford was on the brink of death and insanity. all he had left was STAN to trust. it also wasnt him saying#to have stan stay away from him forever--it was just to take the JOURNAL somewhere. he NEVER said he COULDNT come back!#do you REALLy think that FORD could have explained all that properly when he has beeen TORTURED FOR WEEKS ON END? I DIDNT THINK SO!#anyways. the point is that everything the fandom uses to villanize ford is in fact a result of circumstances outside of his control#and while you can argue that bill is the same; compare the damage they have done. consider how their trauma impacted them as people.#think about how bill took his trauma out on everyone around him. about how even now he still feels no remorse in that prison.#think about how ford tried to FIX his mistakes. think about how he is human; how he acted in spite of his misery#think about what that fucking triangle did to that six-fingered old man.#....okay! that was a lot. lets hope no one sees this!!
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In love with a 2-D Character?! Obscuary Edition!
Blurb: In which you are a character in a popular game the Tokyo debunker boys are coincidentally in love with.
Edward Hart
Granted his favourite character was not part of the selection when the game was first released, he chose Romeo's favourite character.
Why? Because he's seen one (1) fanart of you and Romeo's favourite character looked similar to you.
ABSOLUTELY LOVES YOU, you're so. You're hilarious, he absolutely gets everything you do.
Fandom-wise, he's pretty lax about everything, even in-game farming.
He cannot access the next chapter? Oh well, YouTube it is.
But he's a whale. Uses the Obscuary bar profits to pull on your banner
Gets you maxed out!!
He's the biggest fan of everything fandom. Fanfiction, videos, art, edits. Everything.
He even enjoys watching character discourse because it's amusing.
Isn't addicted to the game, just addicted to hearing your voice.
Has Rui and Lyca go to comic-cons to buy merch of you. Probably has used super-chats on your va if they stream.
He just wants to show his support
(Too much support that the va has made a specific message for him in your voice.)
Probably the biggest supporter of rps too, he enjoys all the headcanons
Rui Mizuki
Sweet sweet Rui, he doesn't usually play otome games. (he's going into this thinking it's an otome game.)
Is kinda disappointed he can't vr it out
Does not choose you as his first choice, chose the first character on screen because he accidentally pressed them
laments it after meeting you in Chapter 1! Your banners take way too long and he has horrendous luck
Your SR won't come home, it's one thing but why won't your R card come home either!? (This is me ranting. Rui come home :<)
Is the victim of many lost 50/50 + banner ending when he needed one more 10 pull for a guaranteed character.
Drinks made after you are an absolute must.
Is the kind of person who is very active in a fandom then just disappears for a while and becomes very active again.
YEAH during that activity, he's leaving kudos/comments on every fanfiction. Maybe he's even writing a few, but won't post them. They're for his own eyes + i feel he's very cautious about showing his art.
Because art essentially is a part of you, and even the drinks he creates are all carefully catered to someone's tastes. Similar to his writing and art, he's just not very keen on showing it.
Re-reads his own work though, just to giggle about it.
Lyca Colt
Omg, wait, he's a bit confused about the entire game, the rhythm game especially but he gets the hang of it.
Gets pouty when he can't do a mission, and that stops him from continuing to read the story.
But! Anyways, onto you.
Likes your design + thinks you're kinda cool.
(IS ABSOLUTELY FUCKING DEVASTATED WITH WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU IN THE STORY.)
Trad fanartist Lyca? Trad fanartist Lyca.
in cons, he's seeing them in the artist lane, he's getting sales made for your future banners. (Obscuary funds are an afterthought)
Also one of the "Pulls for everyone, doesn't really care who he gets but has a few characters he will avoid pulling.)
He's the type to get jealous when someone else likes you.
You know the "Please respect mine and Gojo's space, we're married and I don't like you shipping yourself with him," (Paraphrased) YEAH, that but not exactly like that. He's just keeping the jealously inside.
Probably really chill about the game. Doesn't really read fanfiction.
He just sees Rui or Ed read some, reads one passage, likes it and draws it out.
Prev [Hotarubi]
#tokyo debunker#istha fics#rui mizuki#edward hart#lyca colt#yall i fucked up on my midterm#atleast I'm done with them!!! (until early december finals...*sigh*)#istha rambles#that one time i said writing Venti is similar to writing Haku#but I was wrong#writing Venti is similar to writing Rui. (Those potentially empty shells who know the entire truth)#(but don't expand on it and deal with things quietly bc they don't want)#(Others to go through the same things as they do.)#(that's just one thing#I guess that applies to Haku too. anyway#hope you enjoy <3#tdb
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I find the "everyone who was critical of I*zoi, keep the same energy with TS4" kinda hm, puts a bad taste in my mouth. In addition to a plethora of other discouraging news about the TS4, a game many of us have invested years, thousands of hours, and hundreds if not well over a thousand dollars (not including things like Patreon, PS, and other investments into our sims/our Simblrs which could add up to thousands) is potentially introducing features we don't want to support. Compared to a new game we've never played and trying to decide whether or not to purchase and endorse it. This doesn't mean that all of a sudden critics of generative AI or the ethics of some of this new tech are switching sides in an "I told ya so" moment, but there is a deep frustration in being a voice surrounded by screams of corporate greed and feeling helpless in an effort in making what you think is a positive change and standing for something. It's hard when corporations are indulging in your time and your money, they don't feel that loss, we do. There is nothing wrong with trying to stand for something you think is right, and it's not funny when you're struggling to do so.
#Non Sims#Also I do think you can interupt#the keep the same energy comment#as in like make sure to apply the pressure#and hope it'll make an impact#but I just see a lot of bitterness toward i*zoi contrarians#for a lot of people today was a bad news day for simmers#idk if anyone knows what the right answer#is for this kinda thing#we still don't know that much about it tbf#there are no winners with big corps
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Whenever I feel bad about not being able to be productive, I have to remind myself that Fawful and I initially connected over our shared tendency to overwork ourselves into a bad place. And I have to remember that I would never want him to do that again, that I would do everything in my power to make sure he rests when he needs it.
Then in that train of thought, I realize that I never extend that same grace towards myself... and I really want to. I want to be kinder to me, just like I am to him.
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i think that we often do forget that the black brothers were not inherently good people; they were more or less morally grey, more or less leaning towards the good/bad side. it's hard to fully unlearn beliefs of your family (and i think that many people resonate with this statement, whether we are talking about fictional characters or real, fully-fledged people), and i think that morally grey characters are far more interesting than people who are inherently good or evil.
sirius black
many people (including myself) would say that sirius is leaning more towards the lighter end of the spectrum, given the fact that he actively tried to unlearn his family's beliefs, he ran away from home at the age of sixteen and decided to move in with people who were recognized in the wizarding society as good people, he joined the order as soon as he finished hogwarts, and, even after the unfortunate ending of the first war, he decided to join the order again and stay inside a house that was never a home for him, to ensure the safety of himself, the order, and harry, too. his last act was the attack at the ministry where he found himself, despite the fact that he was supposed to stay inside grimmauld place, and where he died.
however, we cannot deny that sirius, too, had slip-ups. one of them was the prank (to review what happened, essentially, he told snape how to get past the whomping willow, therefore revealing remus' secret to him). in this situation, sirius shows recklessness and a lack of thought towards the consequences that his actions could have towards not only himself, but severus snape and remus, too. his behavior showed a lack of altruism, and a lack of consideration for the people around him, being willing to put them in danger for whatever may have been the reason.
another one would be swm (snape's worst memory), where james is a part of the action too, but the tormenting of snape was unjustified (j&s started the fight, and snape responded) and ended badly. now, i am in no way a defender of severus snape's, but both j&s and him were acting based on either boredom (the aforementioned) and a need for revenge caused by the actions that had happened against him (the latter).
in canon, we are also shown that he does not exactly think the words he says, and the effect they have on people. (“You're less like your father than I thought.” — GoF). i think that sirius had no right to say this to harry, who was just trying to make sure that sirius would be safe. what we need to remember is that, by the time of the action of GoF took place, sirius was still on the run, and the ministry was still looking for him; it would have been dangerous for both him and harry (and whoever might have joined them) to go out of hiding and go meet up somewhere near hogwarts (hogsmeade). harry's response to sirius' request was logical, and sirius' response was reckless and not well-thought.
regulus black
we do not have enough information on regulus to fully state on which side of the spectrum he finds himself on. however, he was known to have held the same beliefs that his parents did and to be an open voldemort supporter (The Slytherin colours of emerald and silver were everywhere, draping the bed, the walls and the windows. The Black Family crest was painstakingly painted over the bed, along with its motto Toujours Pur. Beneath this was a collection of yellow newspaper cuttings (of voldemort), all stuck together to make a ragged collage.)
therefore, to some extent, we can safely assume that he held the same beliefs as him (and, implicitly, his parents). the voldemort collage might have been on the wall for either research purposes or an act of devotion (this interesting perspective has been added by @/werewolfenthusiast) we cannot be sure; however, i am inclined to think that it might have been a mixture of both.
furthermore, i think the fact that regulus only started actively betraying and going against voldemort only after voldemort's actions had direct consequences on him and the ones he loved — kreacher, and this is shown in two acts; (wording taken off the hp wiki)
After becoming a Death Eater, Regulus began to consider abandoning Lord Voldemort, partly because his master mistreated and intended to kill the Black family's loyal house-elf Kreacher whilst setting up the security measures for one of his Horcruxes.
One day, Voldemort asked Regulus for the use of his house-elf, Kreacher and Regulus eagerly accepted as he wanted to please his master. Voldemort used Kreacher to test the defences around his locket Horcrux, leaving him to die afterwards. Kreacher was able to escape using house-elf magic and told Regulus of what had happened. Regulus worked out that the locket was a Horcrux and was the reason behind Voldemort's immortality. This was the deciding factor in Regulus's defection.
therefore, regulus has been shown to feel remorse and to start to realize the lenghts lord voldemort would go through only when his family (implicitly, his house-elf) were targeted. however, by researching horcruxes and trying to destroy one of them, regulus (un)willingly helped the wizarding world towards voldemort's fall.
all in all, the black brothers are two complex characters who, to some extent, held their family's beliefs and values. whether they had actively tried to unlearn them (sirius) or their betrayal was slow and silent (regulus), and neither of them can be fit in the category of inherently good or bad people.
#i'm just realizing right now that i kind of format this like an essay and so consider this an essay about the black brothers#and i also hope that nobody's gonna like jump at me because of this so if you don't agree with me#and if you do consider them inherently good or bad people just scroll away please#anyways i personally see characters that are not inherently good or bad for more fascinating and captivating then the ones that are#and u'd like to read more fics in which not only the black brothers but also other characters are not morally good or bad#because the very same way that people are not inherently good or bad I think that that applies to characters as well#and i try in my fics to make characters not only good or bad also offer them traits from the other side of the spectrum too#so for example if a character is majorly morally dark i'm also gonna offer them positive traits and vice versa#anyways enough rambling!!! tags#sirius black#sirius black meta#regulus black#regulus black meta#the black brothers#the black brothers meta#the noble and most ancient house of black#the noble and most ancient house of black meta#meta#my writing
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Please tell me more about your human welcome home au 👀
!! gladly!!
i don't remember what i said in the first - and like... only lmao - post about it so if i restate some things! fuckign oopsie! (a lot of this is just Barnaby &/or Wally asbdjasj im sorry) also this got! so fucking long!
~ (im gonna talk about their middle/highschool years a lot so keep in mind the time frame is late 90s / early 2000s. they graduate high in either 2006/2007. so. yk. obvious warning for homophobia, transphobia, etc)
fun lil thing no.1)
so Barnaby & Wally briefly meet for the first time in the summer before 7th grade. the town Barnaby grows up & goes to school in isn't tiny, but it's not huge either. - i don't have a very good frame of reference for how many students are typically in a school, bc in both my middle/high there was at least nearly 2k of us. - so we'll just say it's smaller than that - a respectable, normal size, however many students that is. but Barnaby's school rarely, if ever, got any new kids.
so Wally randomly appeared on the edge of the Beagle farm one day, staring directly at Barnaby from across the fields. before Barnaby could go say hi, Wally vanished - but! on the first day of 7th grade, they wound up sharing a class. ofc within the day Wally was known as not only the new kid, but a weird kid at that. for the first week he sat next to a kid who had zeroed in on that and was an ass about it. Barnaby - already having an established rep as class clown & also widely well-liked by his peers - would try to stand up for Wally (from across the room) whenever that kid was being a dick to Walls in front of the class
by the end of that first week, seating arrangements were shifted, and Barnaby was seated next to Wally for the first semester instead. ofc the moment Barnaby sat down, he tried to strike up conversation and cracked a killer joke. and Wally, as we all know, doesn't laugh. he doesn't even blink! it rattles Barnaby to his core - not everyone laughs at his jokes, but there's always some kind of reaction!
class begins before Barnaby can be like "hey that. that was a joke. you're supposed to laugh". the whole hour all he can think about is the strange new kid next to him Who Didn't React To Barnaby's Joke. when the bell rings, Barnaby lingers as Wally (very slowly) packs up to go to his next class and walks him there. on the way he explains the joke, and Wally does the whole "oh. ha ha." thing. this all makes Barnaby very late to his next class (he's usually very punctual and never late - he doesn't want to disappoint his mama!) but for once he does not care.
Barnaby has been struck with this soul-deep need to get a genuine reaction out of Wally. he needs to make that guy actually laugh. it's all he can think about. he seeks Wally out for lunch, tries to find him after school (can't), looks for him in the halls. and to be clear! this is all very platonic! well, ok, these two kinda muddle the line BUT they have no romantic interest in each other. Barnaby just... really wants to be the new kid's friend. he wants to make him laugh. it's a friendship crush! platonic yearning! an inescapable desire to please & be accepted! he wants Wally's approval so so badly!
basically, Barnaby says "you're the weirdest person i've ever met (affectionate, intrigued, entranced)" and Wally replies "thank you (proud)"
fun lil thing no.2)
in my mind, Barnaby was a small kid. he was one of those kids who seemed like they were either gonna stay short, or just barely reach average height. he got his main growth spurt when he was like.... 16. it was very sudden. he lived the classic trope of "teen gets way taller over the summer and startles everyone on the first day of school". im talkin he goes from around 5'7 to 6'3. shoots right up like bamboo! and he's still not full height yet! mf is gonna cap out at 6'6!
on the flip side, Howdy was always just. so tall. he was that kid who towered over his peers from the start! ofc he got teased relentlessly for it (along with the transatlantic accent he started talking w/ at a young age and refuses to stop - among other eccentricities), but yk. he already got constant comments from his huge family about it, so he grew a thick skin pretty early on.
Poppy, on the other hand - the last of the three giants - had it worse than both of them! she wasn't outright taller than Howdy, and didn't have a sudden growth spurt like Barnaby, but steadily grew over the years until she was the tallest teen in town. this hit her hard bc not only did it draw unwanted attention to her & make her a target, but it made her dysphoria way worse (Poppy doesn't realize she's trans until highschool, and then doesnt medically transition until her early 20s)
but! once she started getting super tall, Howdy essentially glued himself to her a la "we tall guys gotta stick together!" a classic 'extrovert adopts introvert' thing. Poppy had no say in the matter.
fun lil thing no.3)
everyone's family sucks - except for Barnaby's, Howdy's, and Eddie's. well, mostly Eddie's. in my head they meant well but just... didn't really see the harm they were doing to him. he never spoke up, and they never saw him deeper than surface level.
but Frank's family? horrible. eugh. he was the school's "out gay kid" - not of his own choice! his peers picked up on it because it was very obvious. then the teachers heard, and let his parents know because of course they did, etc etc. Frank's home life was already shitty, and then getting outed (without any real proof or confirmation) made it a hundred times worse. he was a pretty depressed teen (emo Frank lets go) with mild anger issues & a habit for picking fights. but anyway on his eighteenth birthday he packed up his essentials into a backpack, escaped out the back, and never returned.
and Julie's siblings were alright, but their parents and grandparents were all very ~traditional~. it wasn't as rough as Frank's - it was more of a neglectful, passive-aggressive "you're all disappointments' household. ex: Jonesy was known as the local pothead & dealer, and his parents essentially pretend he's not part of the family despite him living in their basement. Bea had a bad (untrue) reputation, Franny was the goth weirdo who people blamed for their problems, etc. and then Julie was always different from "normal girls", and so her parents chalked her up as a mistake as well. but hey! at least the sibs were in it together! and the parents didn't care if Frank stayed over!
Poppy's family was great up until her parents caught her trying on a skirt Sally had made for her. it was a horrible, terrible downhill slide from there. they forced her to join the basketball team, made her keep her door open at all times, etc. for a while she couldn't even see her friends, though eventually they started sneaking in through her window & passing her notes in class. messaging in a 'secret' chatroom yk how it is. Poppy never directly stood up to her parents (very understandable & valid) but she rebelled in small ways. lying about having an after-school thing so that she could be with her friends, convincing her parents to let her go to a study group when in reality she'd be having a girls' night with Sally & Julie & Julie's sisters @ the Beagle farm.
Sally's family was similar to Julie's in that they were more lukewarm towards her than outright abusive. they thought she was too loud, too flamboyant, too expensive, too obvious, pretty much too everything. they wanted her to be normal - Sally wanted to stand on the roof and wax (loud) poetic about damsels. she wasn't outright bullied for being gay like Frank was, but it was certainly a common rumor that she was a lesbian. as a result, most of the girls at school wanted nothing to do with her, and the guys loved to provide commentary on the subject. her parents tried their best to ignore that truth and acted like she was totally straight. sure. still, Sally always refused to compromise on who she was, and treated it all like a mild annoyance. totally didn't hurt her at all. yep. (sarcasm)
there isn't anything known about Wally's family. not even Barnaby knows about them. the group tossed theories around (amongst themselves) over the years - was he an orphan? foster kid? was his family / home life so horrific that he doesn't want anyone to know? all they know is that he became an emancipated minor as young as legally possible and started living in Home, his (admittedly very spacious & high quality) RV. and they didn't even know about that until their junior year except for Frank
on the other side of the coin!
Ms. Beagle was the friend group's favorite adult growing up. the Beagle Farm was a common refuge & hangout spot for them, and Ms. Beagle let all of Barnaby's strange & delightful little friends know that there's always a guest room open for them, should they ever need it. and as a respected member of the community (and provider for the best chicken eggs in town), anyone who tried to speak up against the kids was Immediately shut the fuck down. Ms. Beagle took no shit. if people were talking ill about that "group of depraved teenage fuckups" and Ms. Beagle turned the corner, all conversation would cease until she was well out of earshot. she likes to say that she has 6 kids, all of whom she loves dearly and is very proud of <3
Howdy's family is too damn big to care. not in a neglectful way, just in a "oh, you're friends with... who was it again? Franz? invite him over to dinner someti- STOP PUNCHING YOUR BROTHER-" there's too much chaos, too many things to keep track of to care if Howdy's friends are gay, or trans, or absolutely fucking bizarre. they'll blend right in! Howdy could bring them over for dinner without telling his family and none of them would blink twice! Howdy mentioned that his friends have bad home lives Once and his parents immediately insisted that he bring them over for next week's thanksgiving so that they don't have to deal with that during what should be a holiday. thus began the All Six Of Us + Ms. Beagle + Franny/Bea/Jonesy Attend The Pillar Family Thanksgiving. its incredibly chaotic every time. there's so many fucking people. they're too busy fighting for survival (bread rolls) to bother with manners or awkwardness. every time they leave feeling like they fought a war. none of the friend group has missed a single year.
fun thing no.idontremember!
Wally & Barnaby have had three fights. each are catastrophic and threatened to tear the friend group apart. because those two are closer than anyone - they are each others person. they would both rather chug rat poison than willingly hurt each other. and while Barnaby - a pretty easygoing guy - can get riled up, Wally... really can't. he's never angry. even things that Should make him angry only make him confused or sad. he's too kind, too earnest, a bit of a pushover. he'll just take it with a smile.
so when Wally stands his ground, they all know shit is going tf down. code red, everyone brace. and if he stands his ground against Barnaby? pack a fucking go-bag and ditch town until the storm blows over.
the first time was when Barnaby found out that Wally lives in a damn RV. Wally got weirdly defensive about it, Barnaby was upset that Wally never even told him but somehow Frank knew (he had a bad night & couldn't go home, Julie was unavailable, and Wally found him and took him to the RV for the night) & that Wally is living alone in an RV at all, etc etc - it was a huge fight. & it just kept getting worse. when Barnaby tried to get Wally to move to the farm - that was the first time he's ever heard Wally snap at anyone, let alone him. and since the friend group is fully established at this point, and they're all hopelessly entangled in each others' lives, it affects all of them. sides have to be chosen - there is no neutral party on this. Wally ended up vanishing for a week without a word, and his RV vanished from where it had been parked thus far. the group was in shambles. when Wally turned back up, he actively avoided them all. it took Barnaby tracking down the rv and not leaving until Wally talked to him to have a conversation and fix things. but hey! the disaster actually helped them get even closer!
the second fight was when Barnaby had to go back to the Beagle Farm for their second year of community (Ms. Beagle had a minor accident and needed his help running the farm). Wally wanted to drop out too & go with him, and it turned into a big deal of Barnaby trying to get him to stay while Wally gets unusually pushy & upset about it. the fight wasn't nearly as bad as the RV one, and was more just sad/distressing, but it was still a fight. they parted on less than stellar terms, which they both felt horrible about. Wally has to go through the last year of community alone - he hasn't been alone in many years at this point, and since they met he's never been without Barnaby.
the third fight comes many years later, and this one is the worst. the friend group has all graduated university(those that attended), they're living in the same town, Barnaby & Wally (technically) share a house, Eddie is part of the group now. once again, its over everyone's favorite RV, Home. Home is very old at this point - Wally has had it for around 15 years, and he didn't get it new, and it's been through a lot. Wally is still half living in it, even though it's starting to fall apart. Barnaby brings up the notion that maybe it's time to send the old thing off to a dump, or find a way to put it in storage. they can't keep up the upkeep. it's time to say goodbye to it. Wally flips his fucking lid - or his version of it, anyway. because, uh. no. absolutely fucking not. it's already a very touchy subject, and emotions rise fast. Wally initially shuts down the conversation immediately. over the next week or so, few weeks maybe, tension between Barnaby & Wally simmers. the entire friend group is holding their breath. Barnaby wants the RV gone, as sad as he is about it. Wally won't allow it. of course they reach a breaking point - Barnaby pulls the "i own the property its parked on" card, Wally threatens to leave. of course that scares Barnaby, but that fear mixes with the anger and he fully yells at Wally for the first time. and then Wally shoves him. or tries to - it does nothing physically, but emotionally? it immediately drains all anger from the situation. Wally has never purposefully raised a hand against anyone ever, for any reason. and yet he tried to shove Barnaby. Wally immediately turns tail and runs - he locks himself in the RV, and Barnaby goes to Howdy's.
at Howdy's, Wally calls Barnaby. at first Barnaby jumps at the chance to apologize and try to work something out, but then he recognizes the background noise - Wally is driving Home somewhere. that RV is absolutely not fucking safe to drive anymore. the conversation immediately derails and goes from 0 to 100 within a second. Howdy is off to the side nervously sipping at his beer as Barnaby argues w/ Wally. the phone call abruptly cuts off, Barnaby says "the little bastard hung up on me" and starts Ranting. he says things he doesn't mean, obviously, and Howdy is trying to get him to chill tf out. he's just too angry/scared/hurt/worried yk?
but don't worry Barnaby! Wally didn't hang up on you! yeah so a while later (a little over an hour i think), Barnaby gets a call! it's from the town hospital! yeah so he's Wally's emergency contact, and apparently Wally "hanging up on him" was actually Wally getting into a horrendous accident. it wasn't his fault! there was a drunk driver! but it's... bad. the drunk driver had died in the crash, and since it was night and no one was around, help was a long time coming for Wally. its a miracle that someone found him & called an ambulance in time! so Barnaby realizes that the whole time he was talking shit & being angry, his best friend was slowly dying in a ditch somewhere, alone and in pain. and that's a whole thing!
time for some fun "facts"!
the first time Eddie went over to Frank's place, he immediately fainted when Frank turned the lights on & Eddie saw that he was surrounded by pet tanks filled with Very Large Bugs. then he fainted again when Frank removed the tarantula from its tank to clean said tank.
Wally & Barnaby's cat is named Welcome! she's usually small & pitch black with a permanently bristled tail! she's actually Barnaby's - he found her in a park as a kitten, and her unnerving stare reminded him of Wally so he took her home. Wally would like a dog! Barnaby would not! the cat is their only pet and will remain their only pet, no compromise. Wally retaliated by gluing googly eyes & dog ears onto a rock he found, then painting it. its name is Barnaby. Barnaby has beef w/ it a la Elmo & Rocco when Wally isn't looking
one time, during a group trip to the annual Pillar Family Thanksgiving, the gang stopped at a cabin-themed diner. Sally gasped at stopped Barnaby at the door "We must leave - you can't eat here". when everyone asked why, she pointed at a decorative sign on the wall: Don't Feed The Bears. it instantly became a smash hit inside joke that sometimes backfires (like that one time they go camping and Barnaby acts like he can't open the bear-proof dumpsters & locks & coolers). Howdy once got a "dont feed the bears" sign to put up in the store's diner section as a joke, but as soon as Barnaby saw it he left and refused to come back until Howdy took it down. he'd stand outside the store window and gaze at Howdy from afar w/ the biggest, saddest puppy eyes. it was incredibly effective
speaking of Howdy's store! they all built it together! Howdy managed to get his hands on an abandoned shell of an old building, and they all refurbished/renovated it! they all had the collective skills to get it done. Wally helped draw up blueprints & directed the color-scheme / painting portion, Sally and Barnaby used their carpentry skills, etc.
when Eddie "reconnects" with everyone, he feels like he's going insane. 'cause he keeps running into people who are familiar enough that it bothers him, but he just can't place where they're from (most if not all of them look very different from the last time he saw them in highschool). it drives him nuts! and then he meets Wally and Wally's like "oh! Eddie! it's you!" and Eddie's all "uh... how did you know myna- OH MY GOD IT'S YOU". he has a small crisis because he's over that time in his life, he's in a much better place, he's grown as a person. then he realizes that it's not just Wally but the entire fucking friend group he agonized over wanting to befriend for years and years. the group that (unintentionally) made him feel completely alone and like he was living a lie. and he keeps. running. into them. so Eddie, who just moved to this town, starts looking at mail carrier opportunities elsewhere bc he is Not doing this again - only for Julie to show up and drag him to a friend group function. because they all got together and went "oh, you caught up w/ Eddie too?? so we're in agreement? great! he's ours now! Julie, go get him". and then they accidentally break Eddie's wrist in a zealous game of soccer-baseball-corntoss & from then on won't leave him alone <3
Wally keeps his hair consistently dyed a rich royal blue - even his eyebrows! he continuously touches it up so his roots are never showing! Barnaby keeps his hair dyed blue in solidarity, but to a lesser extent - his roots show, and he doesn't dye his eyebrows or his sideburns/beard
on that vein, Wally has a very extensive hair-care routine he does every morning. he straightens his natural curls out, manipulates his hair into that absurd swirl, and hairsprays it to death. & gels down everything else. shit's Airtight. then at night he has an equally elaborate routine of washing the hairspray/gel out, treating his hair with high quality shampoos/conditioner/oils, and blowdrying it with impeccable technique to keep it Healthy
continuing on that vein - one time Barnaby was makin' breakfast when he heard a crash from upstairs. he sprinted to go see if Wally was alright, but Wally had locked the bathroom door and refused to open up. after Barnaby convinced him to, the door opened to reveal a very miserable Wally still in his towel. his hair was green. "the bottle said dye-safe', he said. the bottle lied. he wore hats for a while.
ok im gonna stop here! this is an absurd amount! i got carried away!
#this au is.... fun#its uh? speculative in a way?#im holding the neighbors in a tightly clenched fist and asking#'how can i keep you all as accurate as possible in this wildly different setting with completely different life experiences'#'how can i apply human life to you all and still keep you in character w/ lives Believable to your character'#its fun. its interesting. in a way its an exploration & dissection of their characters#rambles from the bog#wh modern human au#i.. enjoy it#its interesting to imagine and think about an consider!#how can i keep them the same and how can i Not while staying faithful!#i hope im succeeding!#sorry for the absurdly long post!!!!#this is over 3k words of wordspill!#actually no im not sorry! i hope you enjoy(ed)!
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Me: *looks up x method/ tip for curly nd coily hair*
Results: 83 videos of women with the thinnest and straightest hair u've ever seen "here's why x method doesn't work and it RUINED MY HAIR😨🚫🚫"
Me: agarrame q la mato
#trans: hold me or I'll kill her#THAT'S BC IT'S NOT FOR YOUUUUUU. IT'S NOT FORRR YOUUUUU. NOT EVERYTHING IS FOR YOU PLEASE STOPPP.#or sometimes they actually do recommend the method but i still need to see how it works for people with hair similar to mine#so i know how to apply the products and how often#or how to do x and y thing#bc it won't work the same for my hair than for straight hair#and they are methods specifically for curly hair anyways what are u even doing hereee#they can use the methods if it works for them ofc the same way i use methods that are more common for coils but still work great for me#but they don't need to flood eeeeveeerything with their videos#specially if they are just gonna trash on something and say it's BAD for everyone bc it just didn't work for them#when it wasn't supposed to work for them in the first place#like i understand this is such a non problem btw but it still upsets me sometimes#and my hair isn't even THAT curly btw my prayers to people with coils#i hope u have more success than me finding tips from people with your same hair type
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religious trauma lifesteal!zam essay //lifesteal spoilers
call it projecting but like imagine the amount of religious trauma lifesteal!princezam has (presuming theres some sort of connection of the characters between seasons) like bro has had like 80% of his teamates become gods and watched them loose their sense of self in one way or another he himself started exploiting at one point then goes on to ban himself in season five theres something to be said their having reached the heart cap and having so much power after hours and hours of constant labour to achieve what he got handed to him by a divine like entity like just to ban himself something something sacirficing your life to a higher entity . something also about watching all of his loved ones betray him die or him having to betray them for his own self of moral justice which is very lackluster to his constantly changing beliefs and morality he will never find something that he can cling to (like religion) so. yeah.
#lifesteal princezam#princezam#character analysis(?)#princezam religious trauma.#ALSO uhmmm... something something veryqueercodedpurpletriohewasapartofinseasonfour#watching both of them become a more divine entity via exploits and watching both of them hide from him#just for him to betray them and then join back with what he first left eclipse fedeartion for...?#ya#i hope this helps Understand why people hc him with reliigous trauma or Whatevs. maybe thats justm.e l. no actually ive seen a lot of peopl#do this . also him telling jumper that shes just like him in earlier seasons DOES kinda apply that theres someee theme of the same person#throughout seasons but like whatever it can also just be my own personal headcannon i am More then okay with that.#i h ave so much to say#the facct that hes literally apart of devotion duo.. devoting yourself to another person to the point where you will betray your own#mortality for them can be Pretty Traumatizing#this is also just my silly little rambles and why i think of him w some form of religious trauma sometimes <3 <3 <3 <3#btw when i say religious trauma i mean trauma formed by somethihng resembling religion. and in lifesteals case i think what most closely#would be akin to a religion is to devote yourself to something much more powerful then you (exploiters#which are just the equivelant of gods in my opinion due to practicaly endless levels compared to others (like dupeing#just having.everything. already places yourself in something which is Above a human or in this case players.
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ok horror didn't go through all the different hundreds and thousands of resets that dust (and killer) went through sure but like. he went through something id consider pretty similar???? because through 7 years there HAD to have been a plethora of humans falling down into horrortale like we can see the countless amount of people that died there in toriel's home or in blue snow or in grillby's or even just that first human that aliza hides behind when she first enters snowdin!!!!!!!
and (i dont really know where this rant is going i will not lie 💀) horror (the prick he is) has to see all these humans he has to meet them and introduce him to all of them and at what point does it just turn into routine for him?? they all just blend into one skin colored bipedal figure and the only important part of them are their insides (which i could go on and on about how gross that probably is 🙁🙁) and how them eventually all fall to their deaths
everyone in horrortale is far too gone to particularly care anyways if aliza wasn't so smart and lucky (plot armor SMH) nobody except horror and paps would probably remember her name. and horror would only remember to add a name to the list of "spices" that are in papyrus's spaghetti and then forget it all again. it's all just an endless cycle of human falls down and eventually dies. nobody in horrortale cares enough (if the human doesnt make some sort of big event happen like how aliza stood up to undyne (i doubt snowdin monsters gaf about her b4 that aside from eating her)) and in the end theyll just turn into food again and then the cycle repeats. its kinda like a reverse dusttale (❓❓❓) where instead of the monsters dying over and over to the human's hands it's humans dying over and over to horror's hands
and now that i've established that 🤓👆 time to tie the trio into this! i mean technically dusttale is a loops of both those things happening with the human killing the underground over and over and then dust killing them in the end??? so i think both dust and horror could relate to that?????
a repeated cycle of a human entering the underground and eventually dying,,,, feeling everything go back to a fixed state (literally with dust's resets and a bit more metaphorically with snowdin not caring all that much in horrortale)
having to start off disgusted with killing and then eventually learning to find enjoyment in it (likely because satisfaction of death is the only reprise from the repetitive slog and boredom that is their aus),,,,
somehow feeling guilt for everyone in their world because of what you've doomed them to by your own hands but also being over it and having grown apathetic. theyre still alive. dust sees his underground alive all the time and so does horror his underground's still (mostly) alive. but dust's underground doesnt survive longer than a few minutes now when they see eithe him or the human (so does it even count as life or is it just a barely fufilled light snuffed out) and horror practically already considers them all dead men walking and theyll all probably die one day anyway with how things are in horrortale so whats the point in even trying and doing something fufilling when everything is so so so shit??? (on dust's end this next similarity is ambiguous :3)
& also what they did to their respective papyruses and how they feel??? ik horror probably feels like shit for tricking papyrus into eating humans but he did the right thing (in his eyes. his EYE). he made the right choice to trick him even if it was bad it was the only thing he could do to help snowdin (sure as hell better than undick's choice to try and use him as cannon fodder for the core) and dust i feeeeel would have a similar thought process. papyrus shouldnt die he doesnt deserve to die but its what needs to be done. he's giving papyrus the longer end of the stick by killing him because its better than being killed by the HUMAN. he doesnt like it but he does it anyway because its what "needs" to be done!!! more similarity,,,,,,, esuaghhhh mtt parallel,,,,,,,
how many more similarities can i milk out. i dont know but anyways i doubt they'd bother talking to eachother about their feelings on this because gawddamn these guys and vulnerability!!! horror wouldn't tell a soul (especially not some freak version of him that killed everyone with some cheap excuse that it was to save them from some freaky human that dust swears he should remember but doesnt. but for the sake of this rant just pretend they dont know about eachother's lore :3) about what he did and what happened in horrortale because THATS HIS BUSINESS!!! dont stick ur head into stuff that youre not involved in PRICK he never gave permission for dust to know that
and dust wouldn't tell either because (i think!!! this part is just me fanonizing dust's reason necessary for this part of my silly horrordust rant. also obligatory "this is all my fanon interpretation of them" because i ran out of space in tags) he doesn't think horror would relate nor would be care. he's gotten too used to not telling anybody what he's doing or why or explaining himself to those he knows and loves back in dusttale so why would he even tell any of that to some random stranger with his only connection to him being that they both used to be the same person b4??
he wouldn't horror wouldn't and they both live in not so blissful ignorance about eachother and just how similar they are. or maybe they only know surface level and make up assumptions and stereotypes because they dont care enough or simply just dont have any attachment invested into eachother to want to actually think things through
TRIGLYCERCULE THIS IS TOO LONG I DIDN'T READ!!!!!! ok 🤣🤣🤣 tldr horror has many parallels and similarities with dust that would only be realized by them if they got self aware enough (which like. when is that ever happening). maybe if they cared enough and liked eachother enough they'd probably bond over their shared similarities,,,,,,,, aka by hunting down horrortale frisk
#guess what song inspired this. no need to guess it was uminaoshi by maretu#i can just imagine him saying the last chorus in the song to aliza..... getting into his feels of faint pessimistic hope of her saving them#and then he just turns around and says the probably part. to distract from the fact that he was getting into his emotions#sure you can save us. sure you'll make us happy. all because you've done nothing wrong right? probably.#ignoring the fact that the song is about a girl giving birth repeatedly with the baby dying repeatedly just so she can get it right#i think the song fits horror preeeetty well!#the coward's easy way out as an mtt fan is saying horror is different from killer and dust#but the chad alpha mtt fan would say theyre all similar to eachother#is horror REALLY that different from dust and killer??? IS HE?????? not particularly#mtt all peak because they all connect with eachother SO well TRUST TRUST#i had this thought under hrkl mentality but maybe it could apply to all of the trio but#horror and dust have killed countless humans. i probably need to touch up my smthnew lore but killer only 1 (chara)#and bc he hasnt done much in the human factor of murder he might ask hrdt about it to see what its like#and maybe imagine it was chara he was killing perchance who knows maybe he'll project their experiences onto himself#imagine all the different ways he would've killed chara if he didn't have one risky shot to end them there#and its all thanks to horrordust's insightful experiences! thanks fellas!#again this is under the assumption that killer's only killed ONE human#but (again) since hrdt are desensitized to blood and gore and guts and stuff#and killer hasnt. would he be like. gore sensitive. cannot handle the sight of human death#he can handle monster dust sure fine! can he handle seeing acids and blood and organs spill out of a body#it remind him of chara and when he killed them. it was cathartic. but also he killed THEM. it was a conflicting moment#maybe a part of him would like it maybe a part of him wouldnt. both for the same reason that it reminds him of them#that last sentence is intriguing i should ponder that more. mtt hunt down ht frisk when and how and why and what lead up to it and#this is what my horror analysis google doc looks like. disgustingly long and rambling paragraphs#tricule analysis#horror sans#dust sans#murder time trio#utmv#sans au
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vsynth has long since been trending towards the uncanny valley of singing but i feel like its been especially pronounced the past few years now that a higher proportion of banks sound nigh indistinguishable from human people. you can only really tell if youre already deeply familiar with each bank's respective engine
#its stunning the amount of progress vsynth tech has made within the past few years#and its been really interesting too seeing like adachi rei rise in popularity almost as a counter to ai vsynth#its admittedly kind of saddening that the industry preference overwhelmingly pushes realistic vocals over mechanical robot vocals#and i mean i know they do come equipped with parameters you can edit to make them sound robotic again but its genuinely not the same#when you have the concatenation ai built into the software and the phoneme transitions are automatically smoothed over#this isnt to say that ai vsynth has like completely overtaken or threatening the Future of Vocalsynth though#there is a significant portion of people who largely prefer the clunky/mechanical/robotic sound of early vocalsynth#which is why i think rei has gotten as popular as she has#and the cryptonloids in particular are forever stuck in the piapro ether so the most we'll ever see of a miku ai#is just ppl messing with the rvc ai voice cloner LOL#i think if ai truly was causing Creative Bankruptcy or whatever then utau would not remain as wildly popular as it is#and part of the reason why utau still remains so popular is because [teto image] FREE SOFT its free!! anyone can use it & develop their own#vb on it too. so like yes you have the matter of industry pushing out these hyperrealistic voicebanks at an overwhelming pace#but individual fans will remain using/developing their own voicebanks (aggressively points to adachi rei again) so long as public interest#stays. hence why i dont think ''big ai'' in vocalsynth is a real threat or anything#referring to them as ai banks in the first place anyway is such a misnomer bc its not the same as generative ai#i do think that the relative simplicity at which realistic vocals are synthesized now does somewhat obscure the monumental amount of skill#it takes to tune older voicebank because that shit is HARD!!!!!!!!!#like with how synthv works it obscures the technical tuning feats of older engines and how massively massively massively impressive it is#to get anything to sound good let alone Realistic on smth like vocaloid2#synthv got popular because its ui made tuning a genuinely intuitive process rather than something that makes you want to throw#bricks at your head so its easy to forget tuning (albeit Still hard) was Much much harder#but at the same time.... ai doesnt automatically make tuning better either#actual plain vanilla ai voicebanks often sound very flat and lifeless if no actual tuning is applied i.e. vibrato pitch change tension etc#its such a beautiful complicated lovely artform#anyways my original thoughts. you unfortunately cant get that mechanical/clunky/robotic sound with. any commercial voice synth#released within the past 3 years#i hope more overtly artificial in nature banks along the same genre as rei catch on in popularity
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Guy that wants to just mediate a feelings talky-talk between 2 of their friends
#funny how this applies to the past and now so many parellels between irl and online#oh errr i dont think the outcome will be the same tho#the parallels arent That close. yall dont know the context for irl so im saying not to worry about something that yall couldn’t know to fear#this is a post i made#insecurities feeding off eachother /neg im not insecure about that I can mediate it#okay lab time. get vagued my friends hope you realize youre both girls cause you are
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Hiii! I was wondering if it possible to shift and still be awake? Or have those dreams people have where they think they already woke up and started their day but they’re still dreaming?
hello!!
i'm sorry for answering this so late... i replied earlier but forgot to post it 😭.
in short: yes! you can shift while awake. lots of people have reported doing so or have had success with awake methods. i think one of the most popular is the julia method.
for the second question i'm not quite sure what you mean. if you mean whether false awakenings are possible i can confirm that they are as i've had a few before. in relation to lucid dreaming those can occur especially if you've tried to lucid dream. i tend to do a reality check every time i wake up just to make sure it's not a false awakening (which actually made me lucid during one of them!)
#hope this helps!!#mind you i haven't personally shifted yet so this is just taken from other's experiences#so do what works best for you!#also note that lucid dreaming is quite subjective like shifting so this advice might not apply to you in the same way#shifting#shiftblr#shifting motivation#desired reality#reality shift#reality shifting#shifting community#shifting realities#shifters#marauders shifting#shifting ideas#shifting antis dni#mcu shifting#shifting blog#quantum jumping#shifttok#shifted#shiftinconsciousness#current reality#anti shifters dni#shifting reality
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~ Bruno is Orange - Hop Along
~ Gore warning
Jack Harkness and Angelo Colasanto
#jack harkness#torchwood#lyric posting#angelo colasanto#captain jack harkness#:D#i made this myself#i also made the next few lines#but the image count got to more then 10 and so wouldn't fit all on tumblr#but the lines go: I'd thank you just the same#if you didn't tell#my mother says that i will surely go to hell#please be a good man. please say you won't tell#✨✨✨✨✨#...#yeah#it also applies really well because Angelo told the butcher and town about Jack#that's the scenes i used for the lyrics anyways#alright I'm done here#hope this was cool :)#I can't listen to this song without thinking of these two#hands down the best episode in Miracle Day#ok bye
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