#and I have to pay for pet bills this month… god

[samuraisharkie]

It frustrates me so deeply being so incredibly poor rn. I hate that I can’t afford to send money to every person that needs it right now. I hate that even the tiny amount that I have is more than many others. This world is absolutely fucking cruel. I will still send what I can, but it breaks my heart that I can’t send more.

[miguelsslvt]

ex nerd! scientist! miguel o'hara x slutty! reader

part two here!

word count: 745

TW: smut, nsfw, d/s themes, mentions of pet play.

A/N: THIS IS INSPIRED BY @nymphomatique SO PLS CHECK THEIR ONE OUT!! their drabble rlly inspired me so i thought maybe i could add a little twist;) welcome to the club!

back in your college days, you were.. promiscuous, some would say. well, you were the biggest slut on campus. if your body count didn't say it all, then the rumours sure did.

you took chemistry, maths, physics and biology. you wanted to be a physics scientist, partially because of the thought of there being lots and lots of different universes, but mostly because the pay was brilliant.

miguel o'hara was your 'pet' back in your college days, per-say.

you used him for your homework, and in exchange you would fuck him, give him head, handjobs, you name it. you took miguel's virginity, and every bit of innocence he had left. he was totally smitten by you. i mean, a pretty, popular girl giving him attention no one ever did? sign him up.

miguel was the biggest loser you knew back then. he wasn't the most muscly, and he had those ridiculous black square glasses, and his outfits were shocking. he had a slight lisp due to his late braces, and his hair was far too long and he clearly struggled to maintain it. to keep it blunt, he wasn't cool at all. he was a loser, a simp, and a goody two-shoes. perfect as your little pet.

it wasn't until after graduation did you stop your little encounters. after leaving college, you blocked his number and left campus on the same day. you thought you'd never have to see that nerdy freak again. well, that's what they all say, right?

that was until you finally got a job at ALCHEMAX. you were a 'technological support scientist', which sounded smart but really all you got to do was watch all the better scientists do tests. you didn't mind, it did more then just pay your bills. hell, with the checks you're bringing in you could probably buy a new car in a few months!

you thought things were all sunshine and rainbows, until the thunder walked in. it's funny though, you didn't realise thunder looked like 6'9 tall and 310 pound of pure muscle and attractiveness. his braces were gone, his hair more clean and cut a little shorter, and his glasses just resting on top of his head, but you knew exactly who he was.

'm-miguel o'hara?!' you said, shocked. he turned around swiftly, looking down at you, before his eyes widened. 'y/n l/n?' he said, surprised. you both had become blushing messes. well, his glow up sure came after only 3 years.

'you.. work here?' you asked, absolutely awe-struck. 'i.. do. i am a technological scientist here. you work here too? why haven't i ever seen you around before?' he asked, intriuged. 'i-it's my first day here. you.. matured.' you said, clearly checking him out.

the man smirked. he actually smirked. the man who would whimper, begging to just get off on your shoe, smirked at you like he was in control. 'and you look as gorgeous as 3 years ago.'

your heart stopped. who was this man? this muscular, defined, confident, completely self aware man.. this wasn't miguel. there was no way.

'you..you're very different, miguel.' you said, a blushing mess. he chuckled, putting some latex gloves on. fuck, even his hands were attractive. 'well alot happens to a guy.' he says smoothly, his voice deeper. god this was going to be hard.

♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎

that very night, you were spread out on the bed, and you didn't recognise the man above you.

3 years ago, a scrawny desperate nerdy little boy was on his knees, as if you were a goddess. and now, that very man was on top of you, kissing your neck so skilfully, as if he's done this for years. his thrusts had rhythm, as he grinded along your g spot with ease, you let out a gasp and a breathy moan, as he shushed you.

'sh, bonita.. you've changed. where's that dominatrix you were back in college days? why are you so.. obedient?~' he whispered in your ear, as you moaned again.

'i-i think i-it's y-you that changed, m-miguel..' you breathily said in response, as he chuckled. 'oh no, sweetheart, i'm still the same loser that was begging on his knees for you. just now, i've learnt how to please you as well as me.' he said in response, his hands moving down from your breasts to your hips, his cock deep inside you as he grinded his hips as you felt every inch.

god, is this heaven?

♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎

[tgirltorment]

The trick about devils is that the high-ranking ones are often less concerned with inspiring sin and perversion within mortals as they are satisfying their own. You believed that by identifying the right patron and giving them what they want, you could make a deal with no clever loophole or catch. Make an offer, follow through, and come back unchanged and unharmed. Easy. And you knew just the devil to chose: a Devil Lord of Lust, one of the most self-serving of sins. Pride is too unstable, sloth might never hold up their end, gluttony is insatiable, but a Devil Lord of Lust? That you could handle.

You summoned them one evening to your apartment, offering your demands with clarity. "Beauty and power," was all you asked for. "In return, I offer to enter your service for six months." He chuckled lightly, eyeing you up and down. "One year," he countered. "And I promise you'll not be hurt. Not in a way you don't enjoy, at least." You shook hands, and the deal was struck. You were given a day to get everything in order, pay any outstanding bills, notify your family that you'd be away, and went to sleep. The next time you awoke, it was in a cage.

You noticed right away that your clothes were gone. Every so often a demon would pass by, leering at you through the bars. You also noticed that your were very, very, very horny. At first, you tried to cover yourself up, hide from the observing demons. But a heat began to build in your chest. You ached to touch yourself, to cum. You tried to resist. "Not in while they watch," you tried to think, but it was fuzzy. Strained. You noticed that the demons were naked too. Were they always naked? Looking them only made you hornier, so you tried to look away, but the image of their cocks was buried in your mind. Without thinking, you began to touch yourself, and by the time you noticed, it felt so good that you didn't care.

Against your will, small whimpers escaped your mouth. It felt so fucking good. The noises you made riled up the demons, spurring them to get off too. Cum shot through your bars, covering you, making you feel so warm. Why couldn't you cum? You were so close, so fucking close, but no matter how hard you tried, you couldn't get over the edge. You began to beg. "Please," you whined. "Please let me cum."

Eventually, your hands became too tired to continue and fell to your sides. You lay at the floor of your cage, covered in the cum of a dozen demons, unable to orgasm but so desperate. You didn't care anymore. You needed it. So you pushed yourself against the bars and let them fuck you, their cocks taking turns inside you, filling you with more and more cum. Cocks appeared in front of you too, right before your face, and, without thinking, you began to suck them. God, it was so hard to think with their cocks so deep inside you. But you still couldn't cum.

Eventually, they all had their fill and left you, broken and desperate and unsatisfied, squirming on the floor of your cage in a pool of cum, which you brainlessly began to lap up. Soon enough, a familiar form appeared and opened your cage. You crawled out and immediately offered your throat to the Devil Lord, too dazed to even beg. "My sweet pet," he purred, grabbing your horns. Did you always have horns? "You've been so good. I believe you deserve to cum now." You whimpered in excitement, you tail (tail?) flicking behind you. He led you to a throne where he sat down, stroking his cock. "Have a seat," he said. So you rode him, pushing his cock as deep into you as it would go, screaming as you came again and again, unable to stop bouncing. Your back arched and your wings flared as wave after wave of euphoria ran through you, the sweet release you'd been desperate for for so long.

One year would not be enough. Not nearly.

[dovesndecay]

It's June! It's Pride! It's (my) Birthday!

The Introduction Spiel:

Hi, I'm Reyah! (any pronouns! no really, go for it!) On June 21st, I'm turning 32, an exciting and mysterious age to be!! (So I've heard)

Warning: This is a post asking for financial help, and if there's one thing I would ask is that if you read the whole thing: please reblog.

I'm a multiply-disabled queer person of color, a writer, artist, and photographer. I live with three of my best-good-pal-friends, (@renthony, @kryptidkhaos, and @natalieironside) and our collective army of pets.

We all know it's damned hard to be all these things at the same time under the capitalistic hellscape we're living under, and we/I am always in need of a lot of help with the existing.

I ended the month of May with some smaller bills left still to pay, but am thankful to say that June already had fewer bills than usual due, and the amount I need to start the summer off right is actually less than I was afraid it would be! Woohoo!

What I Make

I mentioned my artistic endeavors, let me show you them!!

Writing

I write less often than I'd like, but I share poetry and shorts, when I have them, on my Patreon!

You must be over 18 to pledge, as I have, can, and will again share Adult Content occasionally. Patrons pledging at least $1/month get access to all content. But most posts becomes free to access eventually. :)

When I do longer form content, I primarily write fantasy with a focus on queer brown characters with disabilities, mental illnesses, and disordered attachments. Because therapy is expensive, and writing is free.

Photography

I do wildlife and landscape photography, primarily, but you can also check out my portrait and event work on my website! You can purchase PRINTS HERE.

And because it's my birthday, I'm offering a 32% discount code for all my prints! The code is good from June 1st to July 1st!

A Note, if you purchase a print: first off: thank you. (please feel free to send a photo of wherever you display it!!!) secondly: this will not go towards the received totals on my financial need because Pixels doesn't pay out until nearly 2 months after the purchase. Funds made from sales will go towards future needs.

CODE: PDHHTR

Artwork

I've been exploring art, both analog and digital, a lot more lately, and have shared both process photos and final drafts on Patreon! Here are just a few examples:

I admittedly don't post on patreon as much as I wish I had the energy to, but I try to make at least one thing a month, provided I have the spoons and time.

Creativity is, like, a level 5 spell slot when you're disabled and impoverished, and I appear to have exactly One (1) of those available at any given time.

The Needs:

The Bills: $1,100

Yeah, we had to get here eventually. Since this post is already pretty long, I'm putting the rest under a cut.

More than half of this, as always, is just for the car payment and insurance that keeps the regular day-job-haver getting to said job, and all our medical appointments, errands, etc.

I still owe around $13,000 total on Johnny Car, but I think we all know that's just not a real number.

The rest of the funds would go toward paying the small subscriptions, for my various medications, and the regular attempts to whittle away slowly at the $4,300 worth of other debt.

($2,200 of back taxes, and $2,100 of credit card debt, and gods, do I mean slowly. Interest piles up so much faster than I can seem to whittle.)

If you're able and willing to help with paying the bills, direct donations can be made here:

PayPal | (link)

Venmo | (dovesndecay)

Cashapp | ($dovesndecay)

If you can, and only if you can.

The It Would Be Cools:

Since every dime that comes in goes primarily towards food and bills, there's little left afterward to be put towards other life necessities like clothes, toiletries, let alone things I just think would be nice/neat/nifty to have.

I have a High Priority wishlist. It's mostly art supplies, bulk toiletries, etc.

I'm woefully low on clothes, being short, fat, and trans, so very little of what I own actually feels good to wear so much as it simply covers my body. I have a wishlist of clothes that would be nice to have.

For everything that firmly lands under the "I just want it" category, I have an Enrichment list. It's mostly stuffies, but also games, room decor, hobby supplies, books, and stim toys.

Our household keeps a big wishlist for things we need, want, groceries, accessibility products, and everything in-between.

Okay, now what?

Well, now, I'm gonna ask that if you got to this point, and if you can't/don't want to do any of the things listed above, then please reblog this post.

The more people that reblog it, the more likely I'm able to pay my bills for one more month this year.

But if you don't, it's not like anyone's gonna know. I'm not omniscient, I swear.

Anyway, I don't expect anyone to do anything if you can't or even if you just don't wanna, but if you can and you're willing to, it means the world.

I didn't think this is where I'd be at 32. But I never really expected to get here at all in the end, and it's a lot nicer than I thought it would be. Mostly because I am surrounded by amazing people who have the capacity to be so much kinder than I will ever have the words to describe.

Thank you, and to all, a happy pride!

🧡💛💚💙💜🤎🖤

[sevenop]

Billie Eilish x Fem!reader: And The GRAMMY Goes To…

A/N: And even though you may be incredibly comfortable with Billy in every possible way, singing is kind of taboo. You've never sung in Bill's presence due to your shyness, but everything changes when you're so absorbed in the music in your headphones while cleaning that you don't notice her return. And you sing. Singing her songs, dressed head to toe in her stuff. Eilish goes crazy.

You're always looking forward to being alone. No, not that your feelings for Eilish are a theatrical sham, absolutely and categorically not. It's just that singing next to the seven-time winner of the prestigious Grammy Music Awards is pure suicide for your sense of confidence, despite all the mind-blowing love you have for O'Connell herself. "Made worse" by cohabitation, because living with a girl who has great taste in music and who has music playing literally twenty-four by seven in her house is a factor that clearly doesn't make it any easier to hide your little secret. So yes, you do look forward to being alone, even though you feel genuinely sad when Billie isn't around.

Literally a month has passed since the last time, and you're thanking all the gods when Eilish suddenly calls up the label to sort out some sort of issue with the promo that has started. With the recent release of third album, it's almost impossible to hold back the smile at the moment of forgiveness: the excitement is still bubbling in your blood, reinforced by the realization that you can sing your new favorite songs at the top of your lungs without any embarrassment.

"Are you up to something?" - the blue seas opposite look at you with warmth, and the smile on your face is beautiful mirrored on her face. Billie has always been perceptive and empathetic.

"Nothing but cleaning."

"Am I allowed to start being jealous of my dirty clothes yet?" - Eilish quirks an eyebrow upward skeptically, but the smile never leaves her face. - "I've never seen people so excited about cleaning."

A gentle kiss on aquophore-covered lips, a whisper in her ear asking for a quick return and you are beyond suspicion - the obsidian-black Dodge is riding, leaving you alone with your only devoted accomplice in the face of Shark. The phone screen flashes a green Spotify icon almost instantly. Your time has come!

×××

"Come on, boy! Sing along with me!"

And even if you don't hear the dog barking in the noise of the music that beats in ear headphones, him contented muzzle and actively wagging tail are more than eloquent. Having bravely dealt with dirty things, you suddenly found that you temporary have nothing to wear, so you borrowed the first oversize shorts and a colorful T-shirt from Eilish's wardrobe. Next tasks - dusting, loading the first batch of washed clothes into the dryer, and mopping the floors, what are you doing now. The last item on your makeshift list. Euphorically singing the last track, playing the third album for the second time, you release your playlist into free swimming, controlled only by Spotify algorithms. After a couple of trucks, you hear a familiar rhythmic thrill and a languid exhale - "Oxytocin". So good.

Shark hurriedly runs somewhere, but you don't pay it any mind, only intercepting the mop handle like a microphone stand.

×××

"My girl, I'm home!"

It's the only thing Billie says before she stands frozen at the doorway to the living room. Her hand intercepts the car keys she'd been coquettishly twirling on her index finger at the last moment, for the sudden sight before her is far more coquettish and startling. Shark barks happily, running up to her, causing Billie to shush the pet with a hasty shush. Her hands immediately fumble for her cell phone in her shorts pocket - it's a sin not to capture at least a few seconds.

"Cause as long as you're still breathing, don't you even think of leaving," you sing languidly, almost touching the handle of the improvised microphone with your lips.

Billie only swallows, realizing the hot knot between her legs tightening the longer she watches your performance. In her eyes are hungry blue flames, ready to lick you from head to toe. The impulse to strip you of her own clothes, so insanely appropriate for you but interfering with her contemplation now, is interrupted by a clever idea. Her phone dives back into her pocket. A few hurried steps outside of your attention and she's already at the rack of numerous statuettes, a few more and you almost gasp at the last words of the song, seeing the weighty Grammy statue right in front of you, clasped in her hand, followed by the feeling of Eilish pressing against your back. Insanely close. Insanely hot. Your hands grip the phone shakily, poking at 'stop' and the mop promptly sheds to the floor, hitting audibly. You've been caught red-handed.

"I think this is rightfully yours, girl," Billie whispers and grins deftly into your ear, interlocking your fingers on the cold gold of the gramophone.

"Billie, I-"

"Shh, you better tell me how long it's been since I've known about this," her tongue makes a hot stroke on the curl of your ear, biting down gently on the lobe, catching your ragged exhale with pleasure, - "How many concerts have I missed already, Y/n?"

You're at a loss, not knowing what to say. Eilish's hands, tugging at the edges of her own T-shirt, which you're wearing, don't seem to be helping you concentrate. Oh yeah, add to that the fear that you might drop Grammy on the floor right now if she continues.

"I... I can't exactly say, I do this whenever... when you're not around, I'm sorry."

Eilish's hands only lead higher, up to your chest, placing a hickey on your neck with some mysterious throaty purr and licking it off immediately, burning you with her heated breath. You reflexively give her more access.

"Wow, how much did I miss," - the bite on your collarbone, your new quiet moan, - "Can I count on a private concert?".

The three tattooed fairies on her left arm flicker, barely releasing your gaze downward - the knot on her your shorts immediately comes undone, giving her easy access.

"Sing to me, Y/n. Sing all my songs."

And you sing. Only for her. In bedroom, mixed lyrics with moans.

[nectardaddy]

B.I.L.L.S , t. hanamaki

american hero. . . b.i.l.l.s. by towa bird

If I had a dollar then I wouldn't have to bother 'bout the bills. I'm so tired of paying rent.

pairing : hanamaki takahiro x f!reader

cw/notes : poverty/financial insecurity, conversation about/wishing for "what could be" (and a deep dive into the feeling of wanting), use of the pet name "sweetheart," humor as a coping mechanism, language, eating used as a metaphor, lots of metaphors in general, established long-term relationship, I am genuinely very proud of this fic so if you got tagged out of the blue that's why <3

word count : 2.6k

The apartment was dingy and run down, a muted tone of gray that submerged the entire cramped space into desolace. A desolace that bled into the other rooms, through the floorboards, through every nook and cranny of the compact unit - through the bones of the pair that inhabited it. Pictures and posters littered the drab walls. Old developed pictures and various music flyers stuck to drywall with bits and pieces of scotch tape - real frames were far too expensive - as they tried desperately to combat the dreary aura of the space. 

But it was difficult to fight against such longing; around every corner being yet another issue that would only ever be resolved with the one thing the pair didn’t have: funds. Air conditioning that went out every other month, as the landlord was too stingy to really fix it and complained with every call and maintenance request about the issue. Mold in the air vents, water pressure that was just short of a small stream, a lock on the door that barely bolted with a small chain lock that was used as a "replacement" that didn't really do anything. It reeked of dust and mildew, a musty smell that lingered no matter how many candles were lit and blown out. And trial and error to shut the, horribly painted, bedroom room; over the months they learned to turn the knob and slam rather than just slam. 

It was a constricted, at times uncomfortable; limited space meaning old cardboard boxes stayed within the living area or bedroom - mementos gathered dust that all but covered the unit entirely. Memories shoved in a box that would barely ever see the light of day, or simply, didn’t want to. Such a place didn’t deserve such warmth. A god forsaken space didn’t deserve the radiant coziness that came with trinkets and baubles, didn’t deserve the framed pictures - that would crash to the ground anyway, as the drywall often crumbled and fragmented - and surely didn’t deserve the mellow residents who resided in it. 

Both home from work, and both exhausted beyond belief, they sat together on an old, thrifted loveseat. A gaudy flower pattern that was stained and smelled of cigarettes from the latter owners, but a place to sit nonetheless. The man shuffled through a slew of mail, the woman, with her eyes closed and trying not to fall asleep right then and there, sat next to him. 

“I’m so fucking tired of paying this shit,” he grumbled before throwing the envelopes onto the rickety coffee table. A table that was discounted, dirt cheap, as one leg was cracked and wobbly. Oftentimes, it broke when too much weight was put on it, duct tape lined the connection between the leg and table itself. All it held was other envelopes - bills, an array of clipped coupons, and a long forgotten coffee cup, that’s rim was chipped and the handle cracked. 

“Then don’t,” the woman hummed in response, a cheeky reply to a serious notion. An exhaustion riddled in her voice that made him look over and sigh, heart strings pulled taut at seeing her weary form. “We can run away together and never have to see this shit hole again.” 

He stayed quiet for a moment, letting a pause settle between them. Allowed the sound of the fan in the far corner of the room to take over the silence he offered, the hum of it engulfed the room as it rotated to cool the entire apartment. “Maybe we should,” he sighed before a small smile pulled at his lips. “We can go off grid and everything, y’know they make shows about people that live like that, right? We could be famous.”

A breath of air passed through the woman’s nose as she chuckled, and she opened her eyes to look over at him. “You’re an idiot.” Even as she smiled at him, he couldn’t help but notice just how tired she looked. Her eyes were dark and hazy, unfocused even, as it seemed like all she wanted to do was close them again - to sleep. Her work uniform crumbled and wrinkled as she sat with her legs up on the small couch, too worn out to change upon coming, to what they reluctantly called, home. 

Home, to them, was coming back at odd hours. Never fully holding each other as the other had to whisk themselves away - to provide, to work. Times were fleeting, just as much as the money that came in. Gone within a second and drained from responsibilities. Every second together was taken with an ironclad grip, and sewn together with cups upon cups of coffee just to try and enjoy it all.

“Where would you want to go if we had the money to leave?” The off kilter question left his lips easily, without much thought put behind it. Because to him, that's all he ever thought about - leaving. He hoped one day he was able to scrape up enough funds, pack everything up, and leave the cramped unit all together with her by his side.

“Anywhere, honestly, this place sucks ass.” She groaned as she stretched her legs off the loveseat. A series of pops from overworked limbs hit his ears and made him frown - she didn't deserve to be this tired, not for this piece of shit apartment. Not for anything.

“I’m serious.” His normal, almost whimsical, tone went with the wind as he sat up a little straighter. He looked over to her with red tinged eyes, fatigued and strained, that swirled with an unforeseen worry.

“So am I.” A curt reply as she locked eyes with him. A realist, maybe a bit pessimistic to some, but the woman grounded herself in reality more than he. Didn't want to waste herself away with thoughts of what could be than what is. What could be was a sham, a figment of imagination she couldn't bear herself to think about often; as the thought of what is yanked her to the very pits of longing that she would later have to tear herself out of. 

“I know where I’d want to go.” A dream he hadn’t told her before, he wished he had the money to surprise her with it. But that day was far off in the distance, a mere glimmer of a memory, and he cracked under the pressure of wanting to share. At least this way, they could experience the dream together.

“Yeah? Where?” She closed her eyes again and let her head fall to his shoulder. 

“I’d want to go to Tokyo.”

She snorted at the thought, “spare me, Hiro, not this shit again.” A half hearted joke that landed a bit on edge, toed the line of snappy through drowsy laced words. A former wish she had heard before from him, a joke to only go to Tokyo to get piss drunk with friends. 

“No, not the bar hopping thing.” He assured and waved off the remark with a small chuckle. 

“Good, because you do that shit with Mattsun here anyway. You don’t need to drag me to Tokyo just for me to babysit you two idiots there.” Babysitting, truly, was an understatement to the woman. The thought made her cringe as she recalled past memories of his dear friend passed out in their bathroom, head in the toilet and completely out cold. 

“I want to take you to Ueno Park to see the cherry blossoms one day.” His voice was a twinge quieter than before, a bit breathless as he couldn’t believe himself for finally saying the dream aloud. Deep brown eyes shifted over to look at the woman, whose head still rested on his shoulder - completely silent.

The comment had her at a lack of words, letting another silence pass by them once more; but it lingered far too long. A silence that, as moments passed, began to have a weight to it and started to suffocate her. Every inhale became shallower than the last, and she couldn’t find it within herself to take a single breath more of the humid, musky air the apartment provided. She felt herself tumble into the gaping hole of wanting, needing, craving - pure, unbridled hunger for more than what is. A ravishing feeling that took her by the shoulders and shoved, falling head first into the empty, hollow feeling of what could be.

What could be was far from reality, what could be couldn’t happen.

She lifted her head from his shoulder and looked over at him, eyes a bit wider than before and lips parted through means to say something - nothing ever came. “You told me three years ago you wanted to do that.” Quiet words answered her unspoken question and she sucked in a breath. She remembered telling him that vividly, could recall the day to a tee as it held importance to her.

It rained that day, poured down onto the street as they ran back to their shared apartment - a better one than what they had now. Steps taken hastily, hand in hand, as he practically dragged her through the downpour with a laugh. Both forgot an umbrella, so they ran through the rain getting more and more soaked with every step. It wasn’t far from their unit, the pair only went down the street to a convenience store. But the storm they tried to outrun inevitability caught up with them, so the leisurely walk back home turned to a sprint.

Upon their return, they found themselves sprawled out on their bedroom floor. Their clothes drenched from rain and water puddled onto the hardwood underneath them. A silly action, to lay on the floor wet. But neither minded as they giggled and laughed with one another, enjoying the other’s company. 

Strawberry blonde hair stuck to his forehead and he raked a hand through it. A chuckle left his lips from an earlier conversation before he looked over at her once more, “if you could go anywhere in the world, where would you want to go?”

“What kind of question is that, Hiro?” A teasing tone laced within her cadence as she locked eyes with him. Bright and hopeful, full of love, and not an ounce of exhaustion swirling within them.

“One that I’m curious about, obviously, so indulge me.” The whimsy in his words was easily apparent, one of which she got used to quickly. And there was a sass in the timbre of his voice that muddled with care, a juxtaposition to his usual standalone brassiness. 

“What’s yours?”

“This isn’t about me, it’s about you.”

He watched the woman smile before she averted her eyes to the ceiling, scrunched her brows in thought a moment before she looked at him once more. “Probably Ueno Park, in April, to see the cherry blossoms.”

“Are you serious? Anywhere in the world, and you want Tokyo?” He never looked away from the woman throughout the conversation, and when she met his gaze once more he smiled. 

“Did you ask just to make fun of me, asshole?”

“No, god no.” He laughed, lips pulling into a silly smile before he took her hand in his own. “I’m just trying to figure out where I should ask you to marry me one day.”

The inescapable feeling of want consumed her, leaving nothing left behind as she was swallowed whole. A swirling sensation in her stomach that sickened her, made her ill to think about too long as all she could do was stare at him. “Takahiro.” Her words fell to a whisper as eyes flickered between his own, desperately trying to gauge the situation but to no avail. “You can’t be serious?”

“As a heart attack, sweetheart.” The smile he had started to falter, and the concern that saturated her eyes made his heart sink. But through that concern, the smallest, most miniscule, glimmer of need shone through. Even through tired, bloodshot eyes and a tinge of cynicism, she wanted the dream just as much as he, if not more.

“Hanamaki,” she breathed. “Be real for a second-” But she was cut off as he turned to face her, the old loveseat squeaking under the shift of weight, and he took her hands in his own

“I am being real, so put that name away.” Erring on defensive, put a care behind it that she couldn't ignore. A rare seriousness in his voice that made her swallow hard. “I’m taking you to see those damn cherry blossoms at some point, and when I do I'm asking you to marry me.” 

She opened her mouth to say something but promptly shut it, not knowing what to say to the man. But she felt as the ravenous feeling turned to a starved, almost primal, one. Felt her stomach twist into knots at the thought - she wanted to swallow the notion completely. Needed to feel the crunch and snap of it in her mouth, wanted her teeth caught in it, needed it to be consumed until nothing was left. She abstained from could be for too long and needed to devour the concept entirely. 

But could be wasn’t what is. What is left a bruise, tender and raw, that left a rotten taste in her mouth. She felt the urge to spit out the thought as it circled within her mind like a vulture, ready to dive within a split second. “But-”

“We will, I swear.” He cut off her protest and squeezed her hand. But to no avail, as she only looked at him with a sense of apprehension.

“But we're-” 

“I know, I know,” he sighed. Brown eyes slid over to the envelopes on the coffee table, bold red letters catching his attention that made him close his eyes. “Believe me, I know.” A disheartening belief that caused him to take a deep breath before opening his eyes again to look at her. He brought a hand to her cheek, pale fingers gently brushed over her skin with a warmth that was inviting, loving, and selfless. He gave her a small, out of sorts, smile, “but I want to do this. For you. For us. Hell, because we deserve to do something nice. I want us to have something to look forward to other than the same, shit ass, walls everyday.” 

She paused a moment, let his words sink in, before she bit down hard on the concept and refused to let go. “Ok,” she nodded carefully. “Alright, we’ll go to Ueno Park one day.” Could be tasted sweet and savory, mouth watering to think about. It eased a craving that deflected from what is - so just this once, she let herself free fall into it. “Do you even have a ring to ask me with?” 

His smile pulled into a grin at her question, and he chuckled. “Would you say yes to a ring pop?”

With a paltry laugh, she leaned into his hand that was still on his cheek. “As long as it's strawberry, then absolutely, you dumbass.”

“Strawberry it is, sweetheart.” 

However, he didn’t really need the sweet, confectionary ring. In one of the many old cardboard boxes within the living area and bedroom that collected dust - a particularly well kept, small box hidden in the back of their tiny, shared closet - was a ring he bought three years ago. Bought shortly after the conversation was had, when he still had the money to stretch. Stuffed between memories that would barely ever see the light of day, because a place like this didn't deserve such warmth.

But the warmth was willingly given anyway, whether the pair knew it or not.

series taglist (open, send an ASK) + a few moots bc I am genuinely very very very proud of this

@causenessus @softpia @renardiererin @kodzu-ken @phoenix-eclipses

@wyrcan @honeekyuu @wakashudou @wolffmaiden @eggyrocks

@dailyakira @cupidsblonde @mollyrolls @wolffmaiden @zumicho

@jadeoru @sandwhitches

[ahimhere]

Bad Maid

genre: smut

pairing: dom!Seonghwaxfem!reader

au/summary : You cleaned the best you could

waring: explicit smut

rating: 18+

wc: 1916

"Who told you to be such a bad maid huh?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Waring: Dom Seonghwa (Sir) , cosplay(maid outfit), spanking, degradation kink, oral (male receiving), Pet names (doll), deep throating, fingering

Did you like cleaning houses? No, but bills had to be paid somehow.

You received the request a few nights ago. It wasn't a previous client, you would've remembered this one. He asked that you clean top to bottom, dusting the cleanings then wiping the desks and finally the floor. That was normal, but the floor requirements, now that was new.

First go over with a lint roller, then sweep, mop and finally the lint roller again. Who does all of this?

You were going to deny it as it didn't seem worth it but then you saw the note.

"I'll pay 5x your rate, 10x if you wear a maid outfit and a bonus."

A bonus? A maid outfit? Was this a kink? Most definitely but man did you need the money and what he was offering was 3 months worth of rent, you just couldn't say no. You went online and brought the outfit and then booked the appointment for next week.

You arrived at his apartment, wearing a huge jacket to cover the embarrassing outfit. You punched in the code and entered.

After removing your shoes and slipping on your slippers, you carried your equipment inside and took a look around. "Wha-"

It. Was. Spointless. I mean you couldn't believed someone lives here. There wasn't dishes, or dust or dirt. Just clean. You weren't really sure why you were here. What could you really do?

You sighed and decided to try, that's why you were here. You hung your jacket on the coat rack and began to work, doing exactly as requested.

The dress felt weird, you felt exposed while dusting but when it came to using the lint roller it was great having freedom on your legs.

After waiting for the floor to dry, you started the lint rolling process again, that's when you heard the door open again. It's normal for clients to return or even be in the home while you're working so you weren't scared until you remembered what you were wearing.

You were about to run and try to hide until he came into the living room. "I see you're finishing up."

"Ah, yes Mr. Park, just using the lint roller again."

He hummed with approval. "Do you mind if I look around and check?"

"Oh no. Not at all sir." You smiled at him as he walked around his apartment.

You returned to the floor, finishing the last of it. Once you finished you packed your supplies up and waited for your client.

"Is everything to your liking Mr. Park?" You asked.

He stood in front of you and glanced at your outfit. "You wore the maid outfit."

You were hoping he somehow didn't notice and became embarrassed. "Oh, um yeah I did." You laughed, trying to hide your embarrassment. "Is everything to your liking?" You asked again, ready to run back to your home.

"The bonus. Do you want it?" He asked, his eyes not leaving your face.

"Ah yes!" You completely forgot about that. "What is it?"

"I want to have sex. You can say no, you'll still be paid." He looked you in your eyes, showing that this wasn't a joke.

"I knew it was a kink!" You said to yourself but processing what he said. Sex? What kind of service does he think this is?

"I don't offer those services. Pay me and I'll be on my way." He nodded and pulled out his phone. A few moments later your phone vibrated. You pulled it out and saw he sent the pay. 10x your rate as promised. You bowed and left his apartment.

You stepped into the elevator and sighed. "At least he was attractive." His request played in your head as the elevator descended. It's been a while since you were intimate with someone and god was it tempting. He was tempting.

You reached the lobby before sighing and returning to his floor. 'Why not?' You thought. You rang his bell and he answered. "You're not paying me for this."

"Of course."

"We're just two adults."

"Naturally." He stepped away from the door and allowed you to enter. You closed the door and set your stuff down before removing your jacket.

He grabbed your hand and led you into the bedroom, the one you just cleaned. "Are you okay with me spanking you?"

You are stunned. This man is straightforward and god it was doing something to you. "That's fine." You answered.

"It's a yes or no doll."

"Oh, Yes."

"Yes sir?"

"Yes sir." It was a great choice to come back.

"Good." Seonghwa sat at the foot of his bed and made you stand in front of him. "Do you know what you did wrong today?"

You were stunned? Today? Did you do something wrong yesterday? This was your first time meeting him. You weren't sure how to answer.

"Can't talk now doll?" He cocked his head to the side and stared at you. Oh he wants an answer.

"No sir, I don't know." He shook his head. That wasn't the right answer.

"Lay across my lap." You swallowed your saliva and did as he told. This was new, this was exciting. The anticipation of what to come was killing you. Your line of thought was broken when he removed your underwear and threw it to the floor. "Wet already? Shameful."

Were you really? While you were lost in thought, Seonghwa took two fingers and slowly dragged them along your slit before dipping them into your hole. A quiet moan escaped your lips as you felt his finger enter you. Just before you could enjoy the feeling, he removed his fingers and slide them down towards your clit

What was he doing? You didn't have long to wonder before his hand came across your bare ass. "Ouch!"

"I come home and there's a mess everywhere" He slaps your ass again, ensuring to rub it after each slap.

"How can one person-" Again.

"Make such a huge mess." And again. It hurt, you weren't sure what he was talking about, his place is spotless.

"But sir-" Another slap.

"Did I say you can talk?"

"No si-" And another.

"Huh, since you like talking so much, get up. On your knees." You did as he said and got up from his lap and sat on your knees in front of him. "Open your mouth, nice and wide."

You opened your mouth and watched him remove his pants and pull out his cock. While you were staring at him, trying not to drool over the man in front of you, Seonghwa shoved his cock down your throat.

You began to choke, tears flowing from your eyes and drool sliding down your chin. "Who told you to be such a bad maid huh?" He pulled away, allowing you to catch your breath. "I asked you to clean and instead you make a mess. It's okay, I'm going to it today."

"Suck." He commanded.

You placed your hands on his cock before he moved them away. "I said suck. Don't use your hands." You nodded before sucking his tip, swirling your tongue around the sensitive head.

Soft groans came from him and it made you proud. You continued the acting before taking his length in, slowly bobbing your head up and down.

The groaning above became louder and longer causing you to pool up under your skirt. You slipped a finger into yourself and pumped it in and out of you. You bobbed your head faster, matching the speed of your fingers.

It was hard to contain your own pleasure, before you knew it, you were moaning against his dick. He felt the vibrations and looked down at you. "Look at you, pathetic. You just couldn't wait huh." He pulled away from your mouth and lifted your chin up with his finger.

"You must not need my dick then." No you did, the wait was killing you.

"Please sir. I need it sir." He smirked at you. He stood up and laid on the bed. He grabbed a condom from his night stand and slipped in on himself

"Do it yourself. Get on the bed and fuck yourself."

The embarrassment arose again, but you didn't want it to stop so you stood up, got on the bed and sat on his waist. You took in a deep breath before raising yourself up and lowering down onto his dick.

A moan erupted out of you as he sterached you. How long has it been? It didn't matter now, he was filling you up and damn did it feel good. You took a deep breath and looked at the man underneath you. He smirked proudly, glad to see you like this.

You placed your hands on his hips and began bouncing on top of him. The slow place allows you to hit that oh so sweet spot. Your moans loud and vibrant as you pleasured yourself with his cock.

"That's right, keep going." Seonghwa sais in a low, husk tone. Just hearing his voice made your walls clenched up. He chuckled felling you and moved his hands on top your thighs, slowing rubbing them up and down causing you to clench up more

"More sir, please." You begged. You wanted him to fuck you, you needed him too. "I did such a bad job earlier, didn't I ?" You weren't sure what came over you and caused you to say that, but god you were thankful.

Something clicked in Seonghwa's head, a light switch was flipped. He moved his hands off your thigh and onto your waist. He placed his feet flat down on the bed. Before you could process what was happening, he began thrusting up into you, continuing to hit that sweet spot but at a much faster pace.

"You are absolutely right." He said between groans. "You've been bad, you need to be punished, isn't that right." His fingers began to dig into your sides but you didn't mind, you couldn't. The way he was making you feel, that way your walls stretched around him, the moans he forced out your body, and he was too damn good looking, this was heaven.

"Yes sir! Please punish me." Your mouth spoke on its own. Your brain could only focus on the pleasure that your body was receiving and just when you thought you could handle it, he surprises you again.

He moved one hand and placed his thumb on your clit, rubbing it in circles. "You better cum when I tell you to. You hear me doll."

You nod your head furiously, words no longer being your friends. "Y-yes sir!"

Seonghwa smiled at you, seeing you become undone on top of him made him happy. He continued his vicious attack against your hole and you clit as his own pleasure built up. It was hard for him to hold back his own orgasm.

"Fuck, cum. Cum on me doll, Fuck." He groaned while he cummed himself.

That was all you needed to hear before cumming yourself. A silent moan escaped your open mouth while you threw your head back. Your legs shook violently as he continued to rub your clit.

"S-sir.."

He understood and wrapped his arms around you and laid you on his chest. He slipped out of you, allowing your fluids to flow out and onto him. He rubbed small circles around your back while you caught your breath.

It was better to be a bad maid.

—————

I hope you guys enjoy this one! I did proof read so i hope there's not many errors! Thank you for reading !

Edit: I meant to add a pic !-!

~~~~~~~~~

Masterlist

[boydepartment]

Hey pookie,, may I request a rich!enhypen headcanon(?) where they spoils the reader. Thank you🥰🥰😚😚

thank you for requesting ILY! sorry it was late!!! i haven’t felt well!!!

MASTERLIST

Rich! Enha x Reader- Headcanons

Jungwon- Jungwon always wants what's best for his baby! You can expect to get the best quality food, clothes, jewelry, etc. He wants you to feel the best. You've reassured him multiple times that he doesn't have to but part of him loves that he can take care and provide for you. He loves spoiling you and seeing your shocked face at the new thing he bought you. "Jungwon you didnt have to!"

"Oh I know! I just wanted to :]"

Heeseung- Unlike Jungwon, Heeseung I could see spoiling you with more stuff like a new car, or next months rent totally paid already. He loves to spoil you in practical ways that make your life easier. When your life is easier he knows you'll be happier which makes him happy. That is what is most important to him. Plus when you're in a better mood you smooch him more- so its a win win. "Oh next months rent is paid by the way"

"WHAT? Again? Heeseung you didn't have to..."

"I know I just love you, I wanna help whenever I can."

Jay- Jay is a mix of both. Anything you want you can ask for and he will deliver. Sometimes he will deny you, but then when you get home its already there on your bed. He loves to surprise you and he loves seeing you happy. So he pays for your bills on top of little surprises. He will never admit it but he likes the little :< you do when you ask for something and he says no at first. "Jay oh my god can we get this? I think it would look so pretty in the living room!"

"No."

":<“

"fine... :)"

Jake- Total husband material. The way you're feeling is really important to him. If he notices you're stressed it's an immediate vacation for the both of you. He absolutely loves traveling with you so it works out because he doesn't have to go alone. If he's on a work trip you are going with him. Anything you want from said country he will get for you. He loves seeing you stress free and if running away for a couple days is what does it- then he will drop everything for you. "Are you feeling any better?"

"I am... Thank you, I really needed this."

"Anytime :)"

Sunghoon- Sunghoon really enjoys doing things with you, so to spoil you (on top of endless clothes and little handbags) he likes taking random fun classes with you. Like a cooking class in Italy or an Art class in France. All of the classes he makes sure are fun and he loves that he can experience new things with you "I CANNOT BELIEVE WE COOKED THIS!"

"We did SO well- I told you those classes were a good idea!"

Sunoo- Anytime Sunoo is stressed he goes to you and tells you that you guys are going on a trip. On that trip he spoils you with anything you want. That dress you eyed at the store but then put it down due to the price? That is going to be your next birthday present. That bracelet that you loved so much in the store? He came back later to pick it up for you. Sunoo takes notes on what you like especially on getaways and he brings everything home without you knowing. "Was this from our trip to Hawaii like 3 months ago?"

"Mhm! I noticed you eyeing it!"

Ni-ki- Honestly, Riki is kinda insane. He would be the type of rich person to like go pet lions or something just for the thrill of it. I hope you like adrenaline because those experiences are very common with him. However, he does spoil you in little ways. Riki is kind of shy so whenever he buys you something he always leaves it for when he's not there. The presents are always very cute and thoughtful. Jewelry with your anniversary date on it, etc. "Why'd you leave? I wanted to open my present form you with you..."

"I- Just open it or whatever..."

"AWWWWW RIKI!"

[vynwan-cbq]

U can ignore this if you're not taking requests but i just heard that miguel cried when he first was lil spoon!!? Um.. I need a fic of that

YES. OH MY GOD YES I SAW THIS REQUEST AND IMMEDIATELY STARTED WRITING IT. I kind of got ahead of myself because it's more than just spooning but I hope it doesn't take too much away from the original request <3.

------------

Spoon

Pairing: miguel o'hara x gn!reader

Warnings: loss, crying, implied panic attack, angst as HELL but it's soft at the end, I didn't proof read bc my vision is blurry from tears.

Don't ask me to pay your therapy bills.

~~

It’s only been a few months since you and Miguel started dating, and Miguel’s still reserved. His thinking is that he doesn’t deserve you. That he doesn’t deserve happiness because the last time he was selfish enough to try to be happy, he lost his daughter and billions of lives because a universe collapsed. You do your best with consoling him in this, and it’s been working. He’s not as reserved as he was when you both started dating. You started cuddling just about a month ago and have kissed a week after that.

But he still has his moments. Like now.

It’s Gabriella’s birthday, and he woke up at 5, went to the tower, and buried himself in his work.

He came home at 9, not even bothering to take off his suit before he fell on the bed and hugged a replica of the teddy bear Gabriella loved.

You know today’s significance, and you’re worried for him. You were trying to contact him all day and he didn’t answer his phone, which was on DND at home the entire time. You knock on his door and unlocked it with your spare key.

“Miguel?” You call through the home, not finding him. You step into the bedroom and find his figure under the sheets. He’s awake, you observe, but he doesn’t want to talk. Doesn’t want to do anything. You place a hand on his shoulder and the soft exhale he lets out translates to “I need a hug”. Still in your hoodie and jeans, you get into bed and kiss his shoulder. Moving up so that your head is above his, you hug him from behind so that the back of his head is against your chest. One arm has his head resting on it and the other is cupping his cheek and soothingly petting it.

His heart spills the emotions he’s been holding in all day, and he cries.

He hasn’t cried in front of you before, never even came close to it, but here he is crying because you’re spooning him. “Oh, Miguel,” You whisper, your heart also aching at his heartbreaking sobs.

He simply grips the stuffed animal in his arms and curls up, nuzzling himself backwards a bit to be in your arms. “She’d be 10 today,” he hiccups between each sob. Tears prick in your eyes at that, and you hold him closer. Your leg wraps around his waist to keep him close and he lightly squeezes it as if he’s trying to bring himself to reality.

He eventually turns around and stuffs his face in your chest, pulling you in by the waist roughly and muffling his cries into it. He’s holding on to you for dear fucking life because he cannot lose you too. “Miss her so much,” he mumbles a few times, sometimes also whimpering “I can’t breathe”.

Doing your best to pull yourself together, you make him look at you and see him breathing heavily. “Hey, Mig,” you whisper and wipe a tear from the corner of his eye, “shhh, it’s ok.” He looks up at you with the prettiest fucking doe eyes and tries to calm his breathing down. “Name three things in the room, honey,” you coo, and he hiccups before looking around.

“Curtains,” he rasps, hiccups again, then looks around a little more. “Clock,” and he looks down in his arms, “teddy bear.” You smile at him and peck his forehead, “good job. Now name three sounds.”

He looks at you with his eyes still sparkling from tears. “Honking,” he hums softly when you wipe a tear from his cheek again, “wind,” and he squeezes your waist softly before saying, “your heartbeat.” You hum and kiss his nose. “Now three body parts, baby, almost there.”

He wiggles his fingers, touches his cheek, and then his tummy while saying all three. You’ve never kissed him so softly and he sighs at the feeling again. The both of you part and he wipes one of your tears, softly smiling at you before placing his face against your chest again.

“Tell you what,” you cup his face and make him look at you once more, “why don’t we buy a cupcake and put some candles on it? We can sing happy birthday to Gabriella.”

“She wouldn’t want you sad on her birthday,” you trace hearts onto his jaw and kiss his nose.

And his eyes well up in tears again.

Not really sad tears this time, though. You’re the sweetest being he’s laid his eyes on, and he’s all yours and you're all his. He couldn’t believe that fact.

So you did get a cupcake. Her favorite flavor, chocolate with vanilla icing, and he even bought pink sprinkles because she loves them. Carefully carrying the items to his apartment, the two of you settled on the balcony with a picnic blanket and a plate. You help him place the sprinkles on the cupcake, and lit a small candle to put on top of it.

You both sing the happy birthday song to which he adds “happy birthday, mi niñita” near the end. He tries not to sound like he’s already crying as he sings the last part, “Happy birthday to you.”

He holds your hand, still looking at the candle with a soft smile and a tear rolling down his cheek.

And you didn’t even have to blow the candle. The wind did, but it almost didn’t even feel like a coincidence from how immediate it was.

He leans onto your shoulder and the two of you let the soft background noise of Nueva York below you take over. All he’s doing is running his thumb over the back of your hand.

He eventually turns towards you and admires you. Smiling, you ask what he’s doing.

He shakes his head and says,

“thank you.”

~~

Gonna cry now.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for saying tomy dad he doesn't knows how to use the damn washing machine?

🎣 So I can find it later

Me (transmasc, 25) live with my parents. This is something they suggested me after I had a breakup with someone abusive, before someone jumps at my neck for living with them, immediately voting that I am the asshole. No they don't respect either my name or my pronouns, that's how bad the relationship was. I also pay a fixed amount per month that's about half of my salary+do more complex house chores. This was a while ago when mom had just given birth.

My dad is pretty big at fishing, and gets his fishing clothes pretty dirty. Fishy smell, dirt, grass, dirty water, you know the drill. Fishes a shitton of fishes and sell it for some extra money. I think it's important to mention his salary isn't bad, it's actually about 7 times the minimum wage here, he just spends in a lot of stuff he doesn't needs like getting a lot of toys for the younger sibling, a lot of fishing material he doesn't uses, paying for bills he made back when he exchanged our house for a farm and then got absolutely ridden in debt from farm expenses because he thought everything would be perfect like in those farm movies. And then had to exchange the farm again in a worse house and still pay back some money, getting pets he can't pay for the expenses like about 15-20 native birds (that are illegal btw) and canaries that cost some real money because they eat specialized food and fresh fruit+medicine. I think it's also important to mention that when I was younger my mom and him fought at least one time per month about his fishing habits that were like, leave on Friday and coke back either sunday night or monday morning. Now they're much more tamer usually capping off at one day, but still are frequent, like at least one time per week.

Now to the real deal: mom always washes his clothes, but in this specific time I was doing laundry because she just was cut open with a C-section to have the twins because of an emergency with the babies .Twins weren't home yet but it was not like she could do anything, so I was doing laundry, organizing my siblings chores (15F, 13M, 4F), taking care of the younger one, unfortunately overwhelmed from being the mom. And dad just leaves to fishing every weekend like it's no biggie and leaves their children to just fend for themselves I guess if I wasn't here. So I am making food, making chores and all of that, real mama chores including dealing with the very moody 4yo that isn't happy dad isn't home and mom can't get out of the bed and cried from about anything that mildly inconveniences her.

Then he comes home from fishing and tuck his dirty clothes god knows where, and one week later finds it again and starts bitching about how no one washed his fishing outfit and I, very tired, very overwhelmed and very stressed, say to him "why, don't you know how to use the damn washing machine?" And he gets like, really offended and says he won't even answer me do he won't offend me, and in my tired state I just answer that all he needs to do is to throw it there with soap and turn it on, he could do that and he gets more mad and storms off to fish (again yes, leaving my mom with basically a recovering surgery with the kids.)

Another detail is that a year before he did the same thing but mom had left for some christian stuff for two weeks, and when I asked him if he could load the washing machine so I could finish fixing lunch, he told me he didn't know how to use it and I taught him. He's 45. It's one of those washing machines with literally everything written on them on how to use.

I also should clarify that he's not mentally disabled or physically disabled, if the fishing trips weren't enough clue for his overall wellness. Mom acted as I should bend to his will and just washes the clothes because it's not worth fighting. My 15yo sister is with me because he makes her clean the sink he uses to clean the fishes every time he fishes. Mom is mad at both of us because we're tearing this family apart and we should just accept dad as he is and do what he says.

Tldr: AITA for asking my dad if he doesn't knows how to do the laundry even after I taught him to do so?

What are these acronyms?

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s3 episode 1 thoughts

wow… how much time has progressed… and to think, a mere two months ago, i barely knew these character’s names, let alone that they will likely stick with me for eternity...

let us begin. as we always must do.

okay, so i’m reading the episode description: scully is facing a possible dismissal!!! i know she broke rules but it was for FRIENDSHIP and LOVE! does that not count for anything anymore?!

(spooky noise) (dried up alien shot) (voice of disembodied narrative) last season on the X files…

(a recap of cig man burning things)

we open back in New Mexico, to Albert describing his relationship to memory and history: “memory is radiant and immutable, while history serves only those who seek to control it” <- banger line.

anyway. we see the smoldering ruins of that train car that was once full of aliens. but not a single mulder in sight…

cig man is breaking into the kind people’s houses!! he and his cronies are conducting violence… THEY HIT ALBERT IN THE HEAD NOOO??? HE IS A HERO... cig man, you are less than a mosquito to me

scully time!!! she’s on the scene… guess she didn’t get far back to DC. “where is he?” she asks, and they look at each other with concern in their eyes. oh, they don’t know...

eric walks into the room with a terribly beaten face... NOOO ERIC, THEY SHOULD HAVE NEVER DONE THIS TO YOU.

now scully is screaming for him on the cliffs whilst the smoke still billows from the train where he was last seen… no response… it is not looking good for our friend mulder!!

she finally tries to go home, and a helicopter is shining on scully. RIGHT on her. this is not good for driving. they run her off the road with no regard for anyone's safety??? could have caused a MASSIVE pileup.

anyway, they grab her and it’s upsetting, asking where the files are and she says in the trunk. do we believe her??? it’s a copy of some of them, but not the DAT, which i would guess means the original cassette tape... oh nooo i’m scared… i mean she couldn’t deny it, but it’s also not looking good for the secrets she was trying to keep. so, without the "DAT", they just leave.

back at the FBI, they are telling her she needs to take a leave of absence. she is looking at the ground and it is once again giving student in the principal’s office. NO PAY OR BENEFITS??? you can't do that... what if she needs to go to the doctor......

i guess she is a doctor but the point stands. you NEED insurance in these parts.

she gives them her badge and gun and says she thinks mulder is dead :( NOOOOO you cannot admit defeat

skinner says “don’t think this hasn’t been difficult for everyone” and she is holding back a very very very biting remark but actually manages to hold it back, so god only knows what she wanted to say. a stronger woman than i.

until she leaves the room, that is!!! skinner comes out to talk to her and OH SHE IS MAD!!

“what about the people who are poisoning agent mulder’s water? whose protocol was that? the men who killed agent mulder, the people who killed his father- they aren’t meant to be found”

“we will find them”

“with all due respect, sir, I think you overestimate your position in the chain of command” <- OHHHH TEA. she basically said, you're a liar working for liars and perpetuating lies. meanwhile WE'RE the only real bitches at the function and one of ‘em’s dead because of YOUR pet cigarette man. SICK!!!!! truly evil.

now she has to find some work to pay the bills skinner!!

(i don't think skinner is evil, i just think he's a dick sometimes and that pisses me off more than sheer evilness. EACH time i think i have him figured out. he does something that proves me wrong)

one last visit to mulder's office before she leaves. she's going to take the real files on the cassette and they are GONE??? to whom have they gone…..

back in new york city. it's a meeting of the minds, all the big names in the world of covering up the existence of aliens. cig man is saying everything is fine, mulder is dead, and all the files are back. ALLEGEDLY!! i believe him on no accounts.

GASP scully going to her mom’s house… she walked there barefoot at night because her shoes hurt her :(

“i’ve made a terrible mistake. dad would be so ashamed of me” NOOOOOOOOOOOO DON’T SAY THAT!!!

(i cannot speak to the moral character of her father but if it were me, i would say it was doing the Right thing that counts far more than following corrupt orders from a corrupt system. and this is further proof that she is one of those people who Has to do the right thing or the guilt will consume her... )

and she DID do the right thing!!!! she just doesn't have faith!!!! i'll cry!!!

buzzards back in New Mexico… oh........

HAND SPOTTED!! white man’s hand in the rocks. is it mulder smushed?????? 

IT IS!! albert and co are hauling him out of a hole, and he’s looking quite dead, but he seems to have hid in a cave with the aliens. good on him for finding a convenient hole to duck into.

they’re doing a ceremony to call the Holy People!!!! i hope it works because remember, the calusari said mulder knows the devil and that seems contradictory...

hopefully they were just lying.

scully back home. sleeping in bed. answering the door, for someone knocks.

it’s FROHIKE???? i cackled. WHY does he know where she lives! and also why is he here when she is in her robe! well. i guess mourning will have you up and about at odd hours.

he drank a whole bottle of what looks like vodka...? and described mulder as “a redwood among mere sprouts” i laughed... it's so genuine. we all know a frohike, for better or for worse.

he assumes that she will be next in line for hunting The Truth, to which she replies, “i’m soon to be out of a job”. but she's a doctor, so it is gonna be okay. maybe she can just leave the last few months off her resume and get letters of recommendation from her professors. doctors, high in demand.

"and like rats, they just scatter back into the woodpile” she says, when discussing how these secretive people pull the strings behind the curtains. i took note because this is a yeehaw-sounding saying.

i guess we don't ever learn where she grew up, because it probably wasn't in one place, with her dad in the navy... but still. such a phrase is giving some sort of appalachia.

frohike brings bad news: the thinker was killed EXECUTION STYLE and found in a landfill... this is soooo fucked up. she is shocked they would do something so stupid and i was like ??? but ohh she's talking about tracing the bullets!

(i only realized this much later. i won't lie)

back in New Mexico, albert is working overtime calling the Holy People to come help, and mulder's floating out in space as he contemplates leaving this plane… 

people are surrounding him. perhaps the holy people or his ancestors??

but no, it is... DEEP THROAT??? I’VE MISSED YOU!!! it was nice to see him again, even for a brief moment in the astral plane.

he’s going on, very theatrically, about the absence of time in whatever it is inhabits after life: “i come to you, old friend, with the dull clarity of the dead, not to beckon you, but to feel the fire and intensity that still live in you…. there is truth here, if that is what you seek, but there is no justice or judgement, without which, truth is a vast, dead hallow” <- he has been reading Shakespeare in the afterlife 

no i actually loved that line. it goes hard. "the dull clearity of the dead". i'm eating that arrangement of words up

cutscene: aliens being gassed and locked in the railroad car. that’s…. Horrific 

(this scene takes mere seconds, and isn't addressed again in any real way in the episode, but holy. it was. unsettling. what did these bastards do to them....?)

back to the commune with the deceased. it's Bill! mr. mulder! he opens his eyes at his dad’s voice. his dad says he’s very sorry for lying about the whole alien thing, and says he is the memory; “if you were to die now, the truth would die, and only the lies survive us”. so no pressure whatsoever. /s

seemingly awake now, he asks if his sister is in the realm with the rest of those who have passed. and he learns she isn't there yet, so i'm pretty sure that makes up his mind, that he'll go back. but imagine if the answer was yes, she was there... do you think he would have still found the strength to return?

back in D.C., scully has to take the visitor’s entrance to the FBI :( but the security guard knows her!!! she is friendly in this way :) she beeps suspiciously... but he lets her though. i suspect that she might be hiding something... but what?

she's waiting for skinner. and ohhh skinner didn’t call her “agent” this time...ohhh the vibes are…….. not really vibing. it is uncomfortable.

she is bringing the news article to him and suggesting cross running the weapon that killed the thinker with the weapon that killed mulder’s dad to get some answers. this seems reasonable to me! he says she has been relieved of investigative duty and basically dismisses her. but she just wants to be helpful!!!! can you blame her??? she just wants to be HELPFUL, skinner, she wants her friend back and not dead. so please DON'T say something catty right now, i SWEAR.

SKINNER. I HATE YOU SOMETIMES. “ohhh the systems would have went off” so there is no need to cross reference the weapons. they’re killing people executioner style!!!! do you really think the people at the police department wouldn’t cover such a thing up?!?!? come ON let's use our heads!!!

he parrots her earlier line about him not having as much power as he thinks... ohhh you bitch. you should both be on the same team here and that team is "please let agent mulder be ALIVE"

he’s all “oh, you just wanna be helpful because you want your job back?” and she very firmly says NO. i just want answers. and honestly, she is handling this way better than i would be. because i would be biting and clawing skinner at this moment. to imply that she just wants her JOB back when she's trying to bring him information regarding a bunch of mysterious deaths, including that of her PARTNER?!?!?

so he says to bring him the cassette tape that she DOESN’T have or otherwise sit tight and let them do their job. and there is unbridled rage in her eyes but it somehow manages to not escape beyond body language and again, applause. 

pause. i’m actually so pissed on scully's behalf right now. and i just KNOW filming these scenes had to be fun.

as always in skinner's office, Bill Clinton watches over everything. his eyes are cold and uncaring. like a god who has abandoned its creation.

the MINUTE she leaves his office, cig man enters... SICK!!!! he's asking about the tape that he earlier claimed to the squad in new york that he got back… “that’s unfortunate”, he says, when he learns she doesn't have it. did he PLANT IT ON HER?? is that what the beeping was? do cassettes beep on metal detectors? i had some as a kid, i just remember feelings of plastic when holding them <-op was NOT onto something here

upon leaving, she is confused about the thingy beeping again. “you wearing a necklace or something?”, asks the security man. “no, not today”, and...... OH.... THE VISUAL INDICATOR THAT SHE HAS LOST ALL FAITH IN THE FORM OF HER CROSS NECKLACE BEING ABSENT. AUGHHHH TEARING MY SHIRT. ripping my hair out in grief. but that leaves the real question: what is in there?

she goes to the doctor, who looks at her neck. SOMETHING IS IN HER SKIN??? embedded in there. oh... it’s scarred over and they’re gonna pull it out, and i'm thinking i might gag if they show it, but thankfully they cut then. WHAT DID THEY DO TO HER IN ALIEN LAND????

back to the New Mexico cam!!! mulder progress!! three days of chanting and he is asking for water!! good news. 

back to D.C. no extraction scene visible, thank god. COMPUTER CHIP???? IN HER NECK??? did they microchip her... so they can track her location... or is it some sort of coded information... oh this is soooo evil

back talking with melissa!!!! my witchy best friend!!! melissa wants scully to unpack her memories, but can you blame her for NOT wanting to do that?? does reliving alien testing sound fun to you??? but, despite her reservations, she goes to a hypnotherapist anyway because she is a good sister and melissa played the "please? for me?" card

(damn, this show sure has a lot of hypnotherapy. it’s funny because i have never encountered it at all outside of this show. maybe it was the big thing at the time? and they wanted to be cool and trendy?)

but we’re back now, in repressed memory town, circa the Duane Barry era. regarding whoever was conducting the tests on her, she says she couldn’t resist them. hey what does THAT mean!!!

things look close to getting revealed when she says it’s time to go. like i said, i can imagine this is probably top ten worst sensations of all time.

so she drives back home and skinner is there??? HUH???? she looks sooooo gagged. and i was too.

(tell me why. oh god this is awful. tell me why my first reaction was “she must be going back to her mom's place... and he’s dating scully’s mom”) (cue the "i'm going to start dating her HARDER" scene from the office)

back in New Mexico. to end the ceremony, mulder must not do any work, change clothes, or bathe for 4 days. PLEASE DO THIS THING MY FRIEND. the boys give him a pouch for sunflower seeds, which he asked for during the worst of his fevers. the sunflower seeds... that when he heard them as a kid, reminded him he was not the last person in the universe... my sweet babygirl, who is a grown man breaking many many laws... glad to have you back in our world

albert shares that he went to the origin place, so overall, this mission seems to have been a success. so please, mulder, do NOT screw this up!!! sit in a hotel room and eat your seeds in your dirty clothes just do NOT break the rules of the ceremony that just saved your life.

scully calls skinner, asking why he was at her place, and he denies ever being at her apartment. BUT cig man is sitting right in front of him soooo it wouldn't have been a good time to talk anyway...

mulder is monologuing into the abyss, as he has found a way to infiltrate scully’s dreams!! very impressive!!

cutscene to his father’s his funeral. scully is there. because she is fundamentally good. she hasn’t met his mother before, right? i recall thinking earlier their first exchange might not go well, because of the whole sacrificed the “sister” for her in the hostage exchange deal thing...

but it actually goes as well as a first meeting a funeral can go. and without citing her prophetic dreams, scully tells her that she has a strong feeling he will be found. scully engaging in the supernatural...? are her sisters words ringing in her ear? or does she interpret a prophetic message dream as a message from the subconscious. i don't even think she knows.

meanwhile, a suspicious man watches this. he wants to talk to her away from the others. he makes some vague sort of reference to the UN league of alien safeguarding, and he says with confidence that mulder is dead.

AND THEN HE STARTS DESCRIBING HOW SHE WILL BE MURDERED???? okay could we GET any more unsettling. survey is saying no. anyway, she will be murdered with either with an unregistered weapon and people who will be out of the country right after the crime has been committed, or by someone she trusts visiting her house. uh oh… skinner looking sus

she asks why she is worth killing: "you want something they don’t- justice” hmm. many such cases in american history.

this guy claims to be tipping her off because his colleagues are acting “impulsively” and her death would just draw attention to them. i mean they have already killed like, 3 people if you count presumed dead mulder, but maybe one more would really push it over the edge?

mulder’s mom comes home. AND HE’S THERE!!!! in different clothes. 4 days had best have passed. i refuse to contemplate that he violated the terms of the ceremony.

okay, back from the dead, and he is interrogating his mom about his dad. she is not answering any questions- does she truly not remember or is she just deflecting... she wants to know what the deal is, and he grabs a gun and says it has to do with samantha. and leaves ominously. that man sure does want to make a dramatic exit.

missy wants to come over (scully calls her sister missy!), and she says to come over. but then someone immediately calls and hangs up- a universal sign of danger, as scully knows. she tries to call missy back, but she doesn't pick up the phone. so she calls back and she says she’ll go over to missy's place instead. the air is very very tense. something is about to go down. but what? 

running to her car. and IT'S SKINNER? he says to get in the car. scully goes in anyway but is very clearly suspicious he’ll kill her. AND SHE PULLS THE GUN ON HIM WHEN THEY GET TO MULDER'S PLACE!

“don’t turn around, or I’ll blow your head off” TEAAA! let out some of that rage i was earlier commenting was so well managed.

“don’t think I won’t do it, you son of a bitch” “no, I believe you” <- LMAOOOO he knows she is NOT messing around. and he does everything she asks of him, even sitting on his hands.

NOOOOO MELISSA GOES TO SCULLY'S PLACE AND KRYCHEK SHOOTS HER????? WHAAAAAAAAAAT???? he looks down and realizes it isn't scully, so he tells his companion that they should just leave. absolutely useless flop of a man. how did he even get into the FBI. maybe they'll just take anyone.

back to mulder's place. skinner claims he has the tape, and that he took it from mulder's desk. then why would he have sent her on the fool's errand of trying to find it? and now they BOTH have guns drawn on each other… as someone approaches the door…. presumably mulder coming home???

OHHHHHH this is the first time i have wanted to drop absolutely EVERYTHING and go straight into the next episode, writeup be damned. AUGHHH. what about melissa!!!!!! please let her make it PLEASE I CAN’T WATCH SCULLY ENDURE THIS!!!! can you imagine if she walks in the door and sees her sister bleeding out... hopefully krychek was too much of a failure to even land a lethal wound.

and honestly, from the moment I laid eyes on Krychek way back in s2, so long ago, i KNEW that he was a fucking rat. like. evil evil evil. idk how they’re gonna try and make me like him again if they decide to keep him on as a recurring character, but i truly do NOT give a fuck about what sort of backstory they come up with for him. i’m choosing anger over healing here. 

i’m that guy by the cork board pinning things with string and smoking a cigarette until all the things line up because truly WHAT is going on!!!! 

really great episode; the pacing and suspense were fantastic, i feel pumped to start a new season, i have a million questions but in an exciting rather than an overwhelming way, skinner you are once again on thin ice!!!

[yowyowyaoi]

Deidara's Daily Texts from the Akatsuki, Part Two

From Itachi:

I swear I'm not mad just give it back

You're STILL not over that?!

What are you even shaving? You don't have a single hair on your face!

Not my business who you date, just keep them from fighting all the time!

That's funny because Hidan said it was you, asshole.

I never ask you questions like that about Sasori, do I?!

You better hide, Kakuzu's going around collecting rent

God you're a worse gossip than Tobi!

I know it was you my whole room smells like clay!

That's a really lewd thing to say ... are you really hitting on me or are you just drunk off your ass?

Yeah but considering I use nothing in mine and you use like 200 products in yours, I'd say mine is better.

Stop it. You're not a pet person.

Okay can you just come with me? I don't ever ask you for favors do I?!

Pay me back what you owe me first.

From Hidan:

Yeah but I'm hotter. Like WAY hotter.

He loves to say stupid shit like that, he's not being serious.

Bet his dick is bigger tho.

That's literally the most stupid shit I've ever heard. We're MEANT to eat meat, fucker!

Yeah but if shark dick catches us he'll beat our asses and Kakuzu already said he's not putting me back together if it happens again!

I'll pray to Jashin for you, you pathetic atheist.

Let's get the fuck out of here and get something to eat. Kakuzu's sleeping I can swipe his wallet!

Me and you? In your DREAMS, kid. You couldn't handle this immortal dick.

Why tf would I care about that? Tits or not me and you are brothers, man.

Crablegs.

No, steak. Rare-rare. Still mooing.

Fuck a vegetable. Load it up with meat.

No wait corn is good but make sure it's seasoned with the meat blood.

That cunt did not beat my ass he caught me by surprise! I'll kill him next time I see his ugly face!

From Konan:

I don't remember my siblings so you all are it for me.

When a girl asks how old you think she is always answer like 10 years younger than you actually think! But seriously, 40?! FORTY??

Did you always know or did it take you a little bit to figure it out?

Rose petal or honeysuckle. Sometimes lilac if it's not too overwhelming.

It's a complicated situation for sure. They both feel something strongly for you but if my opinion counts? I'd stay with Sasori. At least you know what to expect from him, and I think he genuinely loves you.

I've narrowed it down to you or Hidan. If you confess I'll go easy on you. :-)

Please be gentler with him. He may hide it but he's gotten really fragile these last few months and he's in pain almost constantly.

Threatening to "beat people's asses" isn't my style. I go for the silent kill.

Wow, HE did that for YOU? That's interesting.

Take it up with Kakuzu. He's supposed to provide you all with extra money for exactly these types of things.

I would just do it, Dei. Be grateful your punishment is so light compared to what you did.

Are you two serious? You realize we're all trying our hardest NOT to attract negative attention?!

Perkier if it's chilly out ;)

I thought about it but I've had it this length for forever. It'd probably look weird long.

Only if you promise to sit still this time. I'm not gonna have you complain if it gets smudged again.

From Kakuzu

Brat. Stop.

I don't give a shit if you don't like him. He's valuable and this organization can't afford to lose him. So SUCK IT UP.

The waxing poetic was one thing but the actual poetry was nauseating.

That's coming out of your paycheck.

How is that an "emergency expense"?!

I don't care what you feel it is, "unfair" or not EVERYONE is expected to contribute to the bills. You use the lights? You pay. You take showers? You pay. You eat the food? You. PAY.

I know you two are friends. You have fairly good ideas about what he likes. Help me and I'll take off that debt you owe me from last month.

Sasori can do that for you, can't he??

Nice try, kid, but you still owe me. And you couldn’t handle my immortal love anyway.

From Tobi

I'd ask you to come with but Itachi thinks you'll try and blow him up while he's asleep.

Diabetes was just made up by assholes who don't want us to eat all the good sugar!

He's really so selfish he wouldn't let me borrow you for one night?

Hidan said it was you ...

I KNOW you like older men! Hey what if I told you I was 31, what then??

Of all the things that could be under this mask, why would "sharingan" be one of your guesses? That's ridiculous Senpai!

Come on Senpai! Leader would be mad at first but I think everyone would like a puppy!

Just tell him that you were only home 10 days this month so you should only have to pay 1/3 of the rent

If you want to but Hidan would probably call you a lot of names for wearing it

Marry me and I'll carry you everywhere all the time. It's a good deal!

Let's see if one of the others will trade with us, I hate going to really cold places

Try if you want to but Konan hit me so hard last time I saw stars for three days

Can you make me a bomb shaped like a scythe? Hidan is getting on my nerves.

From Zetsu

It's complicated, but everybody's blood has a distinct scent. Your's smells like lava and ash. It's very unique.

"Love" or not I'd watch my back, child. You'd make a prettier puppet for him than anyone else.

The years don't go by but centuries do.

Come now, you could have left SOME of those bodies in-tact for me!

I can't imagine that it would matter in the long run.

If you three don't stop attracting so much attention we'll have to pick up and move yet again!

I can tolerate human food but it doesn't compare to humans as food.

Neither. Neither of them is a suitable match for you. I'd run as far as I could from both of them.

Thank you for the offer but I don't believe your moisturizer would be effective on my plant skin.

No, not especially. Things are much the same to me.

If Kakuzu said no then there's no point in asking Leader. Kakuzu holds the money with an iron fist and Nagato has never once interfered with his decisions.

A bit more rest and some decent food would do you a world of good.

From Nagato

Then I must not understand true art because all I can see is property damage and unwanted negative attention being drawn towards our organization.

I understand your frustration but please continue to work with him. I need Sasori to stay here and you're the only one Tobi will listen to.

Oh? It seems it may be time I had a talk with you young ones then.

I see no need for further recruits.

Yes, thank you. Konan used it on my hair and it worked wonderfully.

I'm aware you don't like him but please endeavor to coexist in this group with him. Also remember how precarious his health is before you pull another stunt like the one you and Hidan did yesterday.

I won't stand in the way of your personal goals but surely you realize how extreme self-detonation sounds?

I got you all these phones as a way to communicate efficiently with your partners and with the entire group over long distances. NOT to play games. Kakuzu tells me the phone bill is $200 over it's usual amount due to unathorized games and extra features. If this keeps up I'll take them back.

Next time please be sure you're checking who you're sending explicit pictures to. I assume that was meant only for Sasori's eyes? Now I have Tobi and two others ready to kill him to be your partner.

From Kisame

I shouldn't admit it but it WAS very funny.

But what would be the purpose? Samehada steals chakra, aesthetics don't matter.

I can't tell the future but I can guess that if he's stayed this long, then he probably means to stay with you for life.

Yeah well if one more "accidentally" goes off under his window while he's napping I'm going to make a sandwich of your fingers, kid.

I suppose that would be fun but good luck getting the money from Kakuzu.

I can't even imagine the lives they live. It's really more merciful for them that we extract their demon and send them to the afterlife.

Our relationship is so much more than that but all you immature brats ever ask about is the sex aspect. Shameful.

There's no way he bought that fresh, I can smell it all the way back in my room!

Wear your cloak and perhaps borrow Sasori's as well, it's extremely windy and chilly.

Have you considered a haircut, maybe? Or to dye it black like my Itachi's?

Lol relax it was a joke, no need for threats.

From Sasori

I did get them. Beautiful, but Kakuzu would kill you if he knew you were using these phones for such lewd purposes.

A "magic cure" doesn't beat eating right, going to bed at a decent hour, and exercising once in a while, brat.

Funny how they all think I'M the pervert here when YOU'RE the one who came at ME so aggressively. Brat.

I can think of a much better use for all of those pretty mouths of yours, Dei. Come see me and I'll show you what I mean.

Maybe I need to get you a dictionary for Christmas. Because you STILL don't seem to understand what "covert" and "stealth" mean.

Yeah well you nearly dying because of your own carelessness isn't what I'd call fun. So stop it before I end you myself.

I would never.

"<3" is not a heart. I don't care what idiots say. A real human heart is NOT shaped like that. I'll bring you one of my anatomy textbooks so you can see for yourself.

Yes, I suppose. But don't make it a habit please.

Your breathing sounded strange. Come see me for a checkup. Now.

I don't care for when he sends us on missions to cold places. Bad for you and puts a lot of wear on Hiroku.

Trust me, you DO snore. Like a steam engine.

Why you can't simply ignore him, I'll never understand.

Your eating habits are atrocious, brat.

You're quite the silly one, aren't you?

Mm. You know it's not in me to be jealous. But. If I *ever* see him touch you like that again it'll be the last time his fucking hand is attached to his body. You're MINE.

It's just baffling to me that you won't do it. You'd be the centerpiece of the entire collection! Come on I KNOW you love attention!

I wouldn't trust Hidan around something like that.

Goodnight, my sweet prince. See you in the morning ... if the poison doesn't take you out :-)

As per the Inbox request of @tulipunainenruusu 😊

[kaiba-cave]

I HAAAAATE when people try to talk others out of getting pet insurance by saying “just put some money away in a savings account once a month” and act like pet insurance is a scam or something. Like, do you not realize how much emergency vet bills cost? Unless you have an extra $1000 every month to put into savings, that’s not going to work, not for an emergency. For a regular check up or to pay the deductible or percentage you owe if you HAVE pet insurance, then sure, good idea. But not to pay for an entire emergency vet bill. 🙄

Like my pet insurance is $94 a month for TWO cats. If I put $94 a month in a savings account, I’d have $1128 after a whole YEAR. That is NOTHING when it comes to vet bills, especially for two animals. And god forbid your pet gets sick three months into having them when you’ve only managed to save up three months worth of money? Or breaks a leg and needs a surgery that costs $5k when you’ve only saved up $1k so far. Or you manage to pay for that 5k surgery and then something else happens two months later and you no longer have enough saved for it? Then what? And what if your animal ends up with a chronic condition that costs you $500 a month? How long are your savings gonna last? Are you gonna use a credit card for that and then be stuck paying that bill for who knows how long?

Like, as a poor person who never has any money to save, “just saving” for an emergency will do me no good lmao. Having to pay $94 for pet insurance that will pay 90% of the cost of an emergency is a MUCH better choice.

I think people mistake pet insurance for like, not having to pay vet bills at all. A lot of pet insurance companies won’t pay for pre-existing issues (that does suck but if you get a baby animal and get it on insurance right away then it shouldn’t matter), and they don’t usually pay for things like annual check-ups, shots, spay/neuter. But those aren’t emergencies, those are just the bare minimum you as the owner should be able to pay for yourself.

But if your new dog runs into the road and gets hit by a car on a weekend, has to go to an emergency vet, and needs surgery to survive? You’ll be glad you have pet insurance then.

[markerofthemidnight]

You know what really pisses me off?

When fans of a multi-part indie game project- or, hell, any indie project- try to push for the next chapter/installment/whatever to be released unrealistically quickly just because it’s coming out later than they expected it to.

As a fan of mainly indie projects, it is SUCH a pet peeve for me! Everywhere you look, under new videos, in community posts, on Twitter, whatever, half the goddamn replies are just a bunch of lowlives screaming “WHERE’S (insert instalment here)?!” “YOU SAID (insert instalment here) WAS COMING OUT (insert time here)!” “I’M GONNA UNSUBSCRIBE IF (insert instalment here) DOESN’T COME OUT THIS YEAR!”

And what pisses me off the most is that it’s so evidently clear that none of them have ever devoted themselves to a project like this before! Do you know how to model and program a unique horror monster and give it a map to run around in? No! Do you know how to balance paying bills with all the other costs that you have to pay in order to make the game? Of course not, you’re only 11! Have you EVER written ANYTHING past your shitty, self-insert fanfiction, let alone a whole script?! FUCKING! NO!

I know because I used (emphasis on used) to be a Dark Deception fan back before Chapter 4 came out. You know that? And the comment section of all their community posts and videos was, indeed, filled with 11-year-olds parroting the same bullshit like that.

Until the trailer came out.

When the trailer came out, they all immediately stopped, and then what happened? What fucking happened? The comment section was immediately filled with people going “God, this looks good! No wonder it took them so long!”

It looked just about the same as every other Dark Deception chapter.

But still, that’s why you have some fucking patience. Because you have no idea what your favourite devs could be cooking up sometimes. People regressed into a bunch of caged chimpanzees back before Bendy and the Dark Revival came out, and look how good it was when it did come out!

And also, you wanna know what happened when Dark Deception: Chapter 4 came out? It was bugged. Bugged as shit. And it was almost entirely the fans’ fault for not giving the devs more time to sit on it.

(Granted, I know that this isn’t a very good example, since in my opinion a lot of the problems with Dark Deception are the devs’ fault- mainly the fact that they’re dealing with like 70+ projects and have actually given themselves no time to sit on the game itself- but… eh, my point still stands.)

Fans kept pushing for FNaF: Security Breach to come out. You know what happened? Bugged.

And don’t even get me STARTED on Cyberpunk 2077- a supposed AAA game- because we all know how that came out.

BUGS. UP. THE FUCKING. WAZOO.

(Yes, this is an old indie horror fan’s excuse to vent about all her trauma between the years 2020 to 2022, thank you very much.)

So, in conclusion… be kind to developers of small projects. Even if it takes them months, even if it takes them a year, even if it takes them five years, they’re going to give you what they crave eventually. They just need to actually prepare it first, and most people have no idea how difficult that actually is.

So stow your hunger, ravenous masses. Food will come soon.

[topgunruinedme]

Love your Beau likes & dislikes post. I'm excited about more Sugar daddy Cyclone writing. What's the age difference between him and his boo?? What pet names do they have for each other?

Beau “Cyclone” Simpson || 0.2

Beau is 43 when they meet, she’s 24; theres a 19 year age gap between the two of them. Much to Beau’s concern, she didn’t care about the age difference.

Despite Beau being confident for the first two months that she was way out of his league, she stuck by him.

For the first few weeks they started, getting to know each other and despite the obvious signs, Beau stayed a gentleman.

I fully believe that Beaus own insecurity of being too old for her made him oblivious to the fact she was pretty much throwing herself at him.

So oblivious the stage at the cafe staff had a bet on how long it would take.

It took another few weeks for the walks outside the usual caffee meet up started.

It was only then. When she pulled him into the ally by the carfully ironed prepels of his button down shirt and kissed him with all her might. That he relished.

Let’s just say that they both left the alleyway a bit more disgruntled then when they entered it.

One of the cofe staff received a lot of money that day.

Nothing happened of cause beside the occasional kiss and hand holding, until Beau took her on at least 5 dates. He was very firm on the rule.

The first date was a night out at a restaurant on the pier, watching the sunset. (God dam it Beau how much more romantic could you get?).

The second was her choice, she chose a picknic. Something he hadn’t done since he was a child.

The thired was a scavenger hunt through the city. Something Beau found more fun then he first brelived watching her face light up when he guessed the clues correctly. He was not ashamed to admit she solved most of the puzzles.

The forth in payback of the last day she picked a pottery class. Much to her amusement, Beau was absolutely hopeless at keeping it standing upright. The dam thing seamed to sloop and lay over the moment he turned his gaze away from it. Unfortunately despite his grinding teeth it was not a live person he could bite into.

The fifth and final date was a simple walk in the dark. While it hadn’t intended to be a date, Beau was scheduled to leave for the next few weeks on a navy conference and he had wanted to see her one last time before he left.

Needless to say if his mother ever asked, it had been the fifth date. She would have boxed him around the ears for taking her to bed before one.

He missed her greatly when he was gone, calling as often as he could. Anxious to see her again, soemthing he hasn’t felt towards someone for a very long time. The feeling of missing someone was forgin to Beau, he had not had somebody to care and miss since the academy all those years ago.

He calls her everything under the sun, baby, honey, darling. The affectionate ones then theirs the ones they reserve for the bedroom, minx, brat, baby girl.

She returns the favour, honey bug, show boy, big boy, and her favourite beautiful - she loved that it played on his name. Once she called him daddy just to be a tease; he railed her harder then ever before.

It’s safe to say that one stuck.

Beau calls her by nicknames so often that it took Solomon Bates 8 months to figure out her name, admittedly after she introduced herself to him.

Solomon loves her, he loves to tease Beau about the love bites he attempts to hide under his collar. However when Beau returns that favour, Solomon was very flushed.

They tell each other everything Beau would die before he lied to her. Every deployment he told her everything he could, bending some rules to do so. She understood he couldn’t tell him everything, all she wanted to know is if he would be safe.

Every time he’s deployed (which is less now since he’s airboss) they both go through a checklist, updating the will, paying bills in advance, the essentials.

Beau is very financially responsible, by the time he hit 30 had had half a million in a savings account. He has taught her the same, her own savings racking up just in case.

He loves to spoil her but one thing he will not move on is the bills, he won’t let her pay them. He pays of f her school loans and she becomes a freelance painter and writer.

She loves it, and he loves that she’s happy.

The only thing they could add now is a baby….

[leftoverenvy]

Tastes Like Sugar (ch. 32)

Summary: India Mae, or Indi, is a music major, struggling to pay bills, tuition, work, and make good grades.  Emily Prentiss is a BAU profiler, as well as a DC socialite thanks to her huge family fortune.  The two enter into a mutually beneficial arrangement: Emily will pay for Indi's school if Indi accompanies Emily to her social functions for a few months, posing as her girlfriend.  As weeks go by, the lines between their arrangement and their true feelings start to blur.  But money can't buy love, right?

Pairing: India Mae Banks x Emily Prentiss; OC x Emily Prentiss

Warnings: smut; sugar baby relationships; age gap (16 years - but all over 18)

Word Count: 2.9 k

Read on Wattpad | Ao3 | Previous Chapters

Taglist: @ssa-sapphic 🧸; @5raysofsunshine 🌮; @reidselle🦭; @swiftfiles 🐝💚 ; @scorpsik 🎨

Chapter 32 - Birthday Wishes

A/n: thank you everyone for your patience with updates!  If you're still following along, thank you.  Your readership means everything to me.

- - -

"Pen!" I protested, pushing my hair out of my face once again.  "This fan is blowing my hair around, and I can assure you it is NOT sexy."

"Oh, I assure you it will be, my pet," she purred as she continued snapping photos.  "Just do something sexier with your face."

I huffed in annoyance.  "Very helpful!" I said sarcastically.  "I never should have let you talk me into this," I complained, gesturing around at the makeshift photography studio Penelope had set up to take some boudoir photos for Emily's birthday present.  "I'm just not good at being sexy."

"I'll bet there's a certain brunette who would beg to differ…"  She raised a knowing eyebrow.  "In fact," she started, "You should hear how they tease her at work."

"What do you mean?" I asked in concern.

Penelope walked over to position my arms in what I assumed was a much less awkward pose.  "Emily is so…" she trailed off.  "So cold, hard."  My brows furrowed in disagreement.  Before I could protest, Penelope amended, "She's a total badass, don't get me wrong.  Like a super spy babe…But when you call…"  She trailed off again finding the right words.

With bated breath, "when I call…" I prompted.

"She's a total cheeseball!"  She laughed.  "She's so head over heels for you, Indi.  I guess the team has just never seen her like that before."  She paused, letting me soak it all in, but then added, "For example, the other day, she had just taken down this unsub.  I'm talkin' heeled boot to the stomach, gun pointed at his head.  And she was so focused."  I could picture it now.  My stomach tightened pleasantly thinking about how wonderful it was to be the object of Emily's focus.  "And then when she got back to Quantico to call you, it's like she visibly softens."

I tried to reconcile what Penelope was telling me with my own perceptions of Emily.  A wide smile spread over my face, pleased that I caused such a change in her.  "And," Penelope continued conspiratorially, "Derek has a theory that Emily and JJ were more than friends, especially seeing how cold JJ is towards you."  I gulped, unsure if this was a secret Emily purposefully kept from the team even after they had broken up.  "And apparently, she NEVER looked at JJ like she looks at you."

Butterflies flooded my tummy.  Even though Emily had told me she loved me, it still never ceased to amaze me that others saw the proof in her eyes as I did.  "All the more reason for these photos to turn out well.  I can't buy anything for the woman who has more money than god – if she wants something, she just buys it for herself.  This is my only option for her birthday present, Pen.  And I'm just hopeless at this stuff."

"You landed Emily," she pointed out.

"You know what I mean," I grumbled, pulling at the tight lingerie, uncomfortable and out of my element.

A knowing glint illuminated Penelope's eyes.  "Let's try something new," she suggested.  "What song makes you feel sexy?"

"I don't know…" I bit my lip, embarrassed.

"Fine."  Penelope grabbed her phone and changed the playlist.  Deep bass and a slow beat reverberated around the room contrasted with the singer's keening, crooning voice.  I had no idea what this song was, but the vibe immediately shifted into something more intimate.  I continued worrying my lip, steeling myself to be sexy for Emily.

She seemed to have enjoyed the photos I had taken in front of her standing mirror.  But I hadn't let myself think about it or talk myself out of hitting send.  I begged myself to get out of my own head, trying to reason with my own insecurities.

"Maybe start without my face in them?" I suggested, trying to find a way to ease myself into this.

"Wonderful idea, Indi!  What part of you does Emily like best?"  I had no idea.  I knew which parts of her I liked best.  The smooth lines of her back, the tattoo on her hip, the slope of her jaw as she threw her head back in pleasure… 

"Earth to India!" Penelope got my attention.

"Sorry!" I apologized, my face heating in embarrassment.  I pulled one leg up to my chest, trying to fold in on myself.  "I was just…"

"Fantasizing?  Don't think I haven't seen that look in Emily's eyes either."  Butterflies swarmed my stomach again, overwhelming joy causing a shy smile to stretch across my face.  The click of the camera caught my attention.  "Just be yourself," Penelope instructed softly, trying not to break the moment.  "You're beautiful when you think of her."

"She's beautiful," I whispered.  I could never compare, I thought ruefully.

"Let's try from behind," Penelope suggested.  "Look over your shoulder.  That way you don't have to think too much about what we're doing.  Just keep thinking about Emily."

And once we got started, it really was much easier.  Thinking about Emily got me out of my head.   While I didn't think these had a hope of coming out good enough for Emily, Penelope – of course – worked her magic and made me look amazing.  She thought of the best poses to look teasing and sexy.  I hoped Emily liked them well enough.

_ _ _

I woke up with a start, realizing what day it was.  I rolled over and gently pressed kisses against Emily's skin to wake her up.  When she finally roused, she smiled and pulled me in for a proper kiss.  "Happy birthday," I whispered against Emily's lips.

"Thank you."  She flopped back into bed, snuggling back into our warm cocoon.  "I'm not much for celebrating my birthday," she admitted after a beat.

Hesitantly, I asked, "Because of your mom?"

She blew out a puff of air, a sound I had come to realize meant she was uneasy about something.   "I don't know," she admitted softly.  "Maybe."

"Well, I'd like to celebrate you."  I snuggled into her side, tracing soft patterns against the tattoo on her hip.  "Because you're so special to me, Em.  I'm so grateful to have you.  And you are worth celebrating."

"I love you, sweet girl," she responded simply.

"I got you something," I started hesitantly.

"Mmm," she hummed, pulling me closer.  She turned so we were face to face.  "I already have everything I need."  She kissed my nose softly, her thumb brushing tenderly over my cheek bone.

I huffed in mock annoyance.  "I know you have everything already!  Do you know how impossible it was to buy you a gift?!" 

She chuckled against my skin, pressing more light kisses to my face.  "I don't need a gift when I have you."

"But you have me every day.  I wanted to get you something special."  I got nervous again, thinking that I wasn't special enough to be Emily's gift.  How could I have been so stupid as to think she would want photos of me for her birthday?

She rolled me onto my back and started pressing kisses into my neck.  "How about you let me decide what I want as a present?"  Thoughts flooded out of my head with each swipe of her tongue on my skin.

"Okay," I breathed.  She nipped softly with her teeth at my ear lobe.  "Emily," I sighed.

"So where's my present?" she asked.

"What?"

She chuckled again, her soft exhale tickling the sensitive skin at my neck.  "Can I have my present now?"  I nodded, still dazed from her morning kisses.  "And then we'll go to breakfast?"

"Okay, babe!" I agreed, cupping her cheek, stunned at her beauty.  "I'm paying though!"  She opened her mouth to argue, but I quickly slid my hand over it before she could protest.  "No way are you paying for breakfast, my birthday girl."

She grabbed my wrist to hold it steady as she placed a soft kiss to the palm of my hand.  "Only if I can have you for dessert later."

My stomach flipped pleasantly, the skin at my neck still electrified from where she had been teasing me earlier.  "Okay," I said a bit breathlessly.

"Come on," she said rolling out of bed, "I want to go to that little Benedict place downtown.  And then don't forget!  The FBI picnic is this evening."

"It's a crime you have to go to a work event on your birthday," I griped.  "I mean, what's the point of having a birthday on a Saturday if you still have to go to work?"

She smiled at my scowl, but pressed a kiss to my forehead.  "Just how it shook out this year, angel.  But, I think there will be cake!" 

"There better be cake!" I grumbled.

Once Emily and I had gotten dressed for the day, we made our way downstairs.  When she saw her wrapped present sitting on the kitchen island she made a beeline for it.  I smirked, noting that even though Emily said she didn't think it was necessary to celebrate her, it seemed to be a distancing tactic she previously used to keep herself from feeling disappointment when her mom let her down.

"When did you have time to do all this?" she asked, gesturing to the present and the balloons and flowers.

Sheepishly, I responded, "When you were in the shower last night."

She wrapped me in a big hug, burying her face against my neck.  "You're so special, babe."  I wrapped my own arms around her tightly, drawing her closer.  "I wish you could feel how much I mean that."

"I do," she whispered.  "Thank you, angel."

Nervous, and ready to get any negative reactions about her present out of the way, I pulled out of her embrace and grabbed her present.  "Happy birthday, babe.  I love you, and I wanted to get you something special-"

"I'm going to love it," she interrupted, sensing my nerves.  I handed her the package and watched her carefully take the wrapping paper off. 

As the first photo was revealed to her, she stopped breathing.  "Oh," she gasped in surprise.  Reverently, she traced the lines of my silhouette from the first photo.  I saw how her eyes drank me in, eyelids drooping with lust.  "Baby, I-"  I gulped nervously.  "Well I just don't know what to say," she said huskily. 

I shuffled my feet, worrying my lip.  I also did not know what to say.  Carefully, as if the picture frames would crumble, she took the first out and set it on the counter.  "Fuck," she whispered revealing the second photo.  "You're fucking gorgeous."

My stomach warmed pleasantly, pleased she seemed to like her present.  Her hand shook slightly as she placed the second on the counter just as gently as she had the first.  When the third photo was revealed, her eyes widened.  It was the most revealing, the most teasing.  She put the box on the counter and grabbed me roughly.  "When do I get the live show?" she husked, her tongue wrapping deliciously around the shell of my ear. 

"You want to see me in that corset?"  My heart pounded in my chest as Emily's hands kneaded my ass.

"Fuck yes," she groaned, pulling me closer.  I wrapped my arms around her neck and kissed her deeply.  No matter how roughly she tugged me to her, no matter how her body sloped around mine as she leaned me back on the counter, nothing was close enough.

"Emily," I whined.  She pulled me up to sit me on the counter.  I groaned as she pulled back to pull my shirt off.  My skin, buzzing with the electricity of my desire, ached where she wasn't touching me.  "Emily, please," I begged.  I needed her hands and lips back on me.  I needed her.  I felt the frenzy in me grow, the desire sparking to life between us.

She pressed a flat palm in the middle of my chest, pushing me back to lay flat.  Her capable hands made quick work of my jeans, peeling them down my legs in no time at all.  She put my feel up on the counter, spreading me out in front of her.  "Don't tease," I begged, unable to bear the thought of her relentlessly slow pace.

She grabbed my thighs and pushed them apart to make room for herself.  She chuckled darkly before she dove in, licking up my slit.  "Fuck," I groaned.  I grabbed her head, weaving my fingers in her hair.  I rolled my hips against Emily's mouth, feeling her tongue caress my clit in that way that made my eyes roll back in my head.  "Please," I whispered.  "Fuck me, Em, please."

She didn't change anything, and I passively wondered if she heard me.  My legs were wrapped pretty tightly over her ears.  As if she could read my mind, her hands smoothed down my thighs and yanked them apart.  She then slowly slipped one finger inside me, her tongue never breaking its rhythm against my clit.

I sighed, content in the feeling.  Nothing compared to Emily loving me, even with the cold marble of the countertop against my skin.  My hips began bucking against my will, my head thrashing back and forth.  Emily forced me to the precipice faster than lighting.  My hands slammed to my side, clipping the side of one of the picture frames.  The clatter startled Emily, and she pulled back, her lips releasing my clit with a soft pop.

"Careful, Indi.  I would be quite sad if you broke my present."  Though her fingers still pushed into me, her mouth was no longer on my clit, and I did not finish.

"I know where to get you another one," I grumbled impatiently.  I tried to grab her head and force her back between my legs, but she resisted.

"I'm partial to the original," she teased, her tongue swiping against my clit once.  "It has…sentimental value," she continued.  Her tongue teased at my clit softly.  It was enough to keep me squirming but not what I needed.  I needed what she had been doing before.  I needed it like air.  "Best birthday present I've ever gotten, in fact."

"Emily!" I complained.  She chuckled, pleased with herself.  She added a second finger, but continued teasing with her tongue.

"You know," she said against my labia.  "You're mighty impatient today."  I whimpered as she licked against my clit a bit harder.  "Shouldn't I get to enjoy you how I see fit on my birthday?"  I looked down my body, her eyes sparkling with mischief between my legs.

I quirked a brow, unable to keep myself from teasing back.  "I thought you weren't one to celebrate your birthday."

"I'm starting to see the merit," she amended, her mouth wrapping back around my clit how I liked.

"Oh god," I groaned, my head falling back against the counter.  She sucked slightly and her fingers hit the perfect spot inside me.  "Emily!" I screamed, my hand flying to her head to keep her there.  "Please, please, please," I pleaded, my hips thrusting against her mouth in time with my begging.  She didn't relent, pleasure crashing over every inch of me.  I slumped against the counter, her tongue and fingers slowing to help me ride it out.  "Fuck," I exhaled, stroking the back of Emily's head.  She looked up at me, love overflowing in her eyes.

"Come," she commanded, pulling back.  I sat up, confusion furrowed my brow.  She tugged on my arms until I slid off the counter.  I leaned up to kiss her, but instead, Emily pushed on my shoulder until I was kneeling in front of her.  She looked down at me with eyes dark with lust as her fingers undid her jeans.  Her intense gaze never wavered.  I licked my lips in anticipation.

I helped her pull her jeans and underwear down her soft legs.  She slipped a leg over my shoulder and gripped the counter for balance.  Immediately, I pressed my lips to her clit.  Gathering up wetness with my tongue, I licked up and down her pussy.  "That's it, Indi," she cooed.  My pride swelled as I pleased Emily.

Gently she brushed my curls away from my face, gazing down at me warmly.  "I love you, angel."  I blinked slowly, not daring to slow my pace.  She bit her lip, her brow furrowed in concentration as she chased her own orgasm.  "My sweet girl," she cooed, "You're doing so good for me.  Don't stop," she ordered.  Her hips started bucking against my mouth in earnest, her head thrown back in pleasure.

I moaned at the sight, unable to contain myself.  She gripped my hair so tightly, I felt the sting of the pull.  "Yessss," she hissed, falling more heavily against the countertop, unable to hold up her weight fully.  Her chest heaved as she came down from her high.

After a few seconds, she helped me stand up.  My knees popped in the quiet kitchen as I stood up, a bit sore from kneeling on the hardwood.  She immediately wrapped me in her arms, both of us naked from the waist down.  "I love you, Emily," I whispered into her neck.  "Happy birthday, my love."  She squeezed me tighter, both of us content in the warmth of our love.