#and I have no clue how to be an adult and make money and pay bills and rent and fuck

[rosicheeks]

🙃

[twig-tea]

Get To Know Me Tag

Tagged by @telomeke @lurkingshan @my-rose-tinted-glasses @he-is-lightning-in-a-bottle and @hyeoni-comb thank you all! 💕

Do you make your bed?

I like a messy bed, it feels more welcoming to me somehow. The only time I make my bed is when I'm without heat and it's winter, then you gotta do it to keep in any residual warmth! But normally I'd rather keep everything loose.

What’s your favorite number?

I....don't think I have one? Is this a thing people have, how do you choose?

What is your job?

I manage a team of Product Owners in the Operations division of a multinational company. In other words, I go to a lot of meetings.

If you could go back to school, would you?

Absolutely not. Beyond the fact that I was formerly a substantive editor of university textbooks, which included both editing the textbook content and sometimes writing their ancillaries (tests, powerpoint slides, etc.) so it feels like I took first-year Sociology at least ten times, I just don't love formalized education. I love learning but on my own terms and at my own pace.

Can you parallel park?

I can't drive at all! Technically I learned how, took lessons and everything, but never got my license.

A job you had that would surprise people?

Hmm. I was a call center person for half a day, it was terrible and I left without getting paid for the work I did because I was so eager to get out of there I didn't want to fight them for my pay (even though I needed the money which is why I was there in the first place). I hate phone calls, I can't hear well on the phone, and it was clear the call center script was designed to be exploitative. It was one of the worst jobs for me I could have taken lol

Do you think aliens are real?

I think it's extremely likely!

Can you drive a manual car?

Nope, even when I learned, it was only on an automatic.

What’s your guilty pleasure?

I'm not guilty about it but I can decimate an entire family size mac and cheese when I'm feeling down.

Tattoos?

I have 3 tattoos; one on each foot and one on the back of my neck. They form a rainbow.

Favorite color?

Blue-green! The shade of preference for any given moment varies, but anything in the region from mint to aqua to teal to turquoise will do; I love them all.

Favorite type of music?

My music taste varies widely but the common denominators are 1) fast tempo or upbeat, 2) solid harmonies, and 3) if there's a tempo or key change I am doubly sold.

Do you like puzzles?

Love puzzles of all kinds. I have a collection of jigsaw puzzles I do regularly, and word puzzles, logic puzzles, sudoku type stuff is all very fun. I don't make a lot of time for them but I do them occasionally and always enjoy it.

Any phobias?

I am afraid of falling. Not heights, but falling. The difference is: I can lean over the railing at the top of a 20-storey building or walk on a glass floor over a big drop and just feel a minor thrill, but am terrified to the point of maybe crying if I have to balance on a single step of a ladder or walk across a patch of ice. I had several brushes with death related to falling when I was a kid, and a few bad falls that caused injury as an adult, so it makes sense. Luckily I am pretty tall so I rarely have to do any kind of ladder-ing!

Favorite childhood sport?

American-style tackle football. We used to play at lunch on the pavement because the soccer kids got the field; we played in all seasons including snow, and we did it for love of the sport. I loved it a lot.

Do you talk to yourself?

Occasionally I'll provide a little commentary on what's happening aloud to myself; but I don't really have fully conversations.

What movies do you adore?

I have loved a lot of movies in my time! A few random ones that come to mind right now because I've been thinking about them for whatever reason are Saving Face (2004), Monster (2023), Practical Magic (1998), Moonlight (2016), and Clue (1985).

Coffee or tea?

Despite my username being a type of tea, in this as in all things I am a perfect Kinsey 3. Love both equally and drink a ton of both (coffee more regularly, tea in greater volume).

First thing you wanted to be growing up?

Lifeguard, I think! And then when I was in elementary school I wanted to edit textbooks (I was that kid who got annoyed whenever there were mistakes), so I did actually get to do my childhood dream job.

No pressure tags just going with vibes based on who I've interacted with recently (if you've done this already tag me in the comments!): @rocketturtle4 @visualtaehyun @sollucets @troubled-mind @jimmysea @ginnymoonbeam

[qqueenofhades]

So I decided to go back to school this year and am now in grad school, which I am somewhat struggling with more than I would like; damn them ADHD brain gremlins. As a grad school veteran, do you have any tips for not drowning in grad school while being a semi-functioning employed adult? 💚

Aha, well. I haven't actually gone to grad school while also working full time (unless I really lose my mind and do another master's degree while also managing two and/or three academic programs, but let's not talk about that), so I don't have specific suggestions in that regard. However, I can offer my basic tips for surviving grad school, which include:

* Set a routine and make sure you block out time to do your reading and/or writing. If nothing else, prioritize this. A lot of your grade in the class will come from what is directly before the professor's eyeballs, i.e. whether you can prove that you actually have a clue what they're teaching you and whether you can write coherently as a result. You can skim-read (dirty secret: almost all academics do), but you have to know how to skim-read, so you'll still taking in the essential points of the content. Usually this means reading the abstract, the introduction and conclusion, and maybe the beginning and end of each chapter or article section. Take notes. If you think "oh no, I'll definitely remember that!" -- that is the devil talking. Read with a pen in your hand. Future You will thank you.

* Likewise: you will need to take at least a few days to write a decent grad school essay. Plan in advance. Some people are the kind who can frantically scramble to pull an entire undergrad essay out of the hat on the night before and submit it at 11:59pm, but a) this doesn't work in grad school, or at least not as much, and b) if that's how you're going through it, you're not getting value out of it for money, and grad school is FRIKIN EXPENSIVE. The most amount of outstanding student loan debt I have is from my master's degree, not my bachelor's or PhD. If you're skating through it and bullshitting everything, then it's just not worth what you're paying.

* COMMUNICATE! PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, COMMUNICATE!!!! This should be both to your professors in school and/or your bosses at your regular job. If you anticipate a schedule conflict, need an extension, have something that needs to be done in one front that will have to take priority over the other -- PLEASE COMMUNICATE! (Is this my Traumatized Faculty And/Or Administrator Voice talking? You can't prove it.) Don't drop in with a panicked email five hours before the deadline and beg for more time/a dispensation/extension/whatever. Most people will be willing to work with you, but that relies on giving them time and/or planning space to do so and make other arrangements; after all, they are also counting on you to be a team player and if you can't be, to give them the chance not to be screwed by your absence. It is a basic courtesy to promptly answer (and my god, READ!!!!) your emails and to communicate with other people BEFORE problems arise, rather than when you're right in the middle of them and it is already an emergency. Everyone will thank you for this.

* Likewise: work out which things need to be done as soon as they come up, and which ones are able to wait a little longer. My particular brand of neurodivergence often makes me think that I need to do new things RIGHT NOW GOD RIGHT NOW FIVE ALARM FIRE!! and I stress and get anxious until I do them, even if I'm already working on something else. Project-hopping can sometimes be helpful if you're feeling blocked on something else, but do also have a sense of what needs to be prioritized most.

* If you're not already on medication and/or have some way of managing your ADHD: I would strongly recommend that. Grad school is hard enough, and you don't need to make it artificially harder. There are always the usual bugaboos about obtaining any kind of care, but do what you have to do, medically or otherwise, to make sure you're putting your best foot forward and not artificially sabotaging yourself because the brain chemicals just won't play ball. Believe me, I also know something about that, so yeah.

Good luck!

[landofzero-archive]

Absolute - To Abhor the Impure World 10

(Location: Michigan Townscape)

(An hour later. Near the Absolute venue in the center of the WNW district)

Jun: Ohiisa~n! NEGI-sa~n!

There was a hot dog stand, so I bought us some food. Come to think of it, we’ve had a lot going on since this morning, so we haven’t eaten anything.

No matter what we do, we need to stay healthy.

NEGI: “Thank you. You’re a kind and good kid.”

Hiyori: Fufun, he’s an attentive kid, don’t you think? I trained him myself! (1)

Jun: In reality, I can’t think of any word for it other than “training”…… Ahh, my whole body is being haunted by the spirits of errand boys.

NEGI: “Ahaha. It’s not a bad thing, attentive kids like you can be well-liked.

Like Anzu. Hey, is Anzu doing well? I heard she was having a rough time during SS, but is she feeling depressed or anything?”

Jun: I think she’s fine but y’know~, that person is a lot tougher than me.

Hiyori: Indeed. But the problem is that everyone thinks that way, and doesn’t pay enough attention to that child as a result.

It may be an old-fashioned thing to say, but she’s still an underage girl. She needs support from those around her.

NEGI: “That’s how it is. This world is ruled by adults, and when children try to defy them they’ll just be crushed.”

Jun: Really, is there anything we can do~? I got caught up in Ohiisan’s energy and ran out of the safety of the hotel, and?

We’re supposed to search for Nagi-senpai and Shaka-san, but we don’t have any clues right now—

Hiyori: Yeah, it’s like trying to find a needle in a haystack, but I can’t just sit still and do nothing.

NEGI: “I can’t say I have a clue, but I do have a bit of an idea.

That’s why we came to the Absolute venue like this.”

Hiyori: Surprisingly, it’s already bustling with people.

The Absolute event starts tomorrow, but in preparation the staff are building something like a tent village.

There’s a lot of attendees who can’t wait for the opening day, huh. There’s even food stalls for them, they’re already making merry.  

Fufu. I don’t dislike this kind of atmosphere. What fine weather♪

Jun: Umm, we didn’t have anything else to do, so we came with you like you asked us to. What kind of clues are supposed to be here~?

NEGI: “Before getting into that, how much do you two know about Absolute?”

Jun: Uh. I only know whatever I can look up about it online~, it’s an event people in Japan aren’t really familiar with, though.

Just in case, I did a bit of research before taking this job, but I don’t know much about it.

Hiyori: Last time, we were just guests and enjoyed the event. Generally, our knowledge is more or less the same as that of the average person.

Absolute is the world’s biggest idol festival, held in the WNW district of Detroit, Michigan three times a year.

Its catchphrase was, and still is, “Fanatic Festival.”

Jun: Haha. That unsettling slogan is the same as always~.

NEGI: “Yes. I’m not sure why it’s described like that.

But you see, from the general public, who only know respectable music’s, point of view, Absolute’s music is—

Maybe the so-called idols look fanatic to them?

I feel like the performers are competing for the sake of how much money they can make from flashy performances rather than for the music itself.

Perhaps it feels more like a circus than a concert?”

Jun: It was cool when we watched the performances as guests too~. A performer was shot by a machine gun out of nowhere, fell to the ground, and then rose from the dead like a zombie.

NEGI: “Ahaha.”

Hiyori: Ahh, that also happened…… Also, you mentioned that Shaka-san is religious, so maybe that’s why he was acting like a scene ripped right out of a myth.

Suddenly, without any warning, a crack appeared on the floor of the venue, and a shining Shaka-san rose up from the depths. It was super surprising, y’know.

Just like that, Shaka-san was floating in the air, shining like the sun, and singing something that sounded like an up-beat hymn.

NEGI: “With a group of angels. By the way, I don’t know which concert you all saw, but in the last performance, I also got to silently play the role of one of those angels.

Since I had become personal friends with Shaka-san, he asked me to appear in something.

I also had some free time and wanted to sing, so I decided to appear, but, honestly, I don’t think I’ll ever do it again.

I don’t know why, but it was scary because I was floating, not because I was suspended by wires. It felt like I was weightless, and it was hard for me to control my posture.”

Jun: I was more concerned about the cracks in the ground. That kind of thing is a natural phenomenon, so how did they cause that kind of situation~?

NEGI: “I’m not sure, but if you save up enough money, you can do most anything, right?”

Jun: It cost an absurd amount of money, huh~…… Is that kind of thing profitable?

NEGI: “Maybe so. You probably know this, but in Absolute, unlike the ES drefes system, the winners and losers are determined solely by how much money they receive from the attendees.

It’s what you would call tipping. People who watch the performance either live or through broadcasting can spend as much money as they’d like on their favorite performers.”

Hiyori: And so, it feels like the performer who made the most money was the winner.

NEGI: “Yes. And the money earned from doing so goes directly to the performer’s bank account.

No matter how much you spend on production, if the results are good then you can make a decent profit, right?

But in recent years, the productions have become increasingly flashy, so it probably costs a lot more money. So, most of the performers are probably in debt.

I heard that every year, a number of people ruin their lives because of this. 

No matter if you win or lose, it’ll lead to your own destruction. But even so, every year, idiots will gather and do stupid things.

That’s why it’s called the ‘Fanatic Festival.’”

TL Notes:

Hiyori uses the word “調教” (choukyou) here, which refers to training an animal.

Previous | Directory | Next

[gingerylangylang1979]

Why So Much Cynicism About The Bear?

I feel like there is a large contingent of fans that seem very cynical about the show. Like we get this great show and people are like eh, we can’t have nice things. Excuse this rowdy ramble.

There are those that feel the show should stop at one season because the story is complete. I guess I don’t understand why they think the story is wrapped. I feel we got more questions than answers. How is Cicero going to react? How are they going to work out exactly what The Bear is (ie. menu, service model, design specifics)? How awful is the renovation process going to be? How are Carmy and Sydney going to elevate the crew to a new standard? How are they going to form a different partner dynamic with each other? What is the new standard? Are they trying to go full fine dining or something in-between? Also, a gun is a character. It will be used, screenwriting 101.

There are those that feel the show should stop at one season because they fear the sophomore slump. Can we not trust the writers to deliver more of what they already did? Granted, some shows never live up to the magic of the first season but many do. Many actually get better or at least maintain consistency. Why expect the worst.

There are those who are terrified of any romantic elements being introduced. I’ll be honest and say I do ship Carmy and Sydney. I think anyone who doesn’t see the clues is in denial or just really isn’t paying attention... or they see it and just don't like it. But Episode 8 should clear up any confusion. No man stares at simply a mentee like that. Makes no sense and that’s just one clue. There is the possibility that she won't like him back but that man is into her, no doubt. That being said even if there was no Carmy and Sydney I don’t understand the bitter opposition to any hint of romance. I keep seeing it will ruin the show, the show doesn’t need it, the show isn’t about it. Myself, and many others see a pretty clear setup for a romance. So if the elements are there there's no inserting anything. And I doubt any relationship would just turn the show into a soap opera. We don’t even know the full story the show wants to tell, who these characters are, how the arc develops. I need some examples of relationships ruining a show. I don’t watch much tv so maybe I’m missing all of these fantastic shows that were ruined by a relationship. This leads me to…

Why are Chefs Kiss truthers so cynical about the ship? Not all, but there is a big contingent that just swears it will never happen. I get that there is a history of Black leading ladies not being picked as the partner but I feel like this is way too obvious for there to be no follow through. It’s as apparent yet subtle as Richonne who I often compare them to. I think it’s way too intentional for the writers to not have a plan. It seems integral to Carmy's character development, not just a side plot. And this show is DIFFERENT. I trust them. The fact that they picked these two as unconventional leads says a lot. Of course they can change course but I just see this as too important for our main character to pass up. This leads me to…

This is essentially a Coming of Age story according to Chris Storer, the creator. Even without a romance this show is about Carmy and his adult coming of age. That could mean romance, it could mean mental health wellness, it could mean developing an identity beyond being a chef. But Carmy can’t/shouldn’t stay the same person. A hero needs a journey. His journey didn’t just end by finding a bizarre blood money inheritance. I want to see Carmy become as fully actualized a man he can be. Just being a chef, obsessively, isolating from everything and everyone else is why he is so fucked. He said himself the deeper he went, the quieter his life became, the more he cut people out. His monologue laid it out. Carmy needs to let people in. That’s his challenge. The bro drama is just one element. This goes back to other family dramas, this goes back to him having a childhood stutter, this goes back to an absentee father, this goes back to having trouble connecting in friendships and romantically and not being funny. Carmy’s story deserves to be fully told and he needs a personal triumph, not just a new restaurant. Isn’t that something to look forward to and be happy about?

Storer mentioned joy in season 2. Bring joy! So why all the cynicism about this outstanding show? Anyways, random thoughts while awaiting my Thai food. Carry on.

[demonicintegrity]

Yknow with the fact that everyone my age is like “ah fuck we’re in a recession and the housing market might crash soon” and that General Air, I’ve kinda accepted it might just be a slim chance if I ever have a retirement. Part of it is the career I’m choosing, but part of it is the Everything.

Y’see a normal full time job has you put some money in for your retirement and then they put money into it. And should you be working for them for X years (and the number keeps growing) you can get the partial/full amount of it at age Y (number also fluctuates) and it seems like a lot of my parents generation has/had this. Something they will get if they don’t have it already.

But two problems are now present with the current model of retirement: one being that the money it gives you just isn’t enough to survive anymore. There was no accounting for how the cost of living and inflation would affect how far a dollar can go. So now we see people who had to come out of retirement and work a bit to make up for the difference. And two, how to build your retirement was never really taught in schools. My mother had to tell her coworkers how to maximize their plan in the current job they all have because they just didn’t know and reading legal/economic jargon is just kinda difficult for a lot of people.

Your other option for a/an additional retirement plan is working with someone who can invest your money in a portfolio. Stocks and all that stuff. But as far as I’m concerned that’s fake money earned through wizardry, I have no fuckin clue how the hell that actually does something.

So now say you’re 20/30 something and you wanna try and have a retirement. Your options is actually be able to work full time at a job that offers retirement benefits and actually stick with it for like 20+ years or invest money you don’t have in a portfolio. It’s not new that a lot of places deliberately don’t have you on for full time so they don’t have to pay those benefits. And the only two careers I know of that promise a full retirement in only about 20 years of work is the military and being a cop.

So what do you do? I think the options generally are morbid.

Wait for your parents to die, sue someone and win, or win the lottery.

For me at least, that is the only conceivable way I’ll ever get a large amount of money at once. (And even then, watch most of it go to student loans lmao)

And it’s morbid. Thinking your best bet into have a comfortable to retirement amount of money is your parents dying. And even that is coming from a place of privilege. But I’ve heard it before! Being upset that your parents are dead and it’s stressful planning the funeral but also feeling guilty because that chunk of change feels good to have. It’s morbid and rightfully taboo as shit to acknowledge but getting a significant amount of money when someone dies might actually help you outta a bind.

The second is suing. Americans in particular have a rep for being a lil trigger happy about lawsuits. And I think it’s for two reasons. 1) it’s the only way to truly guarantee someone has to be held accountable and even then it’s a hope and 2) we’ve romanticized getting a lot of money outta it. Because we need it.

Y’know that older but still prevalent joke that “hey if I get hit by a uni bus at least they’ll pay my tuition?” Yeah no they won’t. Not anymore at least. I’ve had several adults working at my college say they won’t, they’ll only cover medical costs from the incident bc it’s happened so much. Apparently you also have much better luck suing the bus company itself than the school. But it is textbook romanticizing a shitty thing because a lot of money would be nice.

Sidenote: maybe if we had a functioning healthcare system that wasn’t driven on profit we wouldn’t have to be entirely reliant on suing someone to have impossible medical debt not kill us

And it’s also because you don’t realize just how slow and expensive the legal process is until you’re in it. And how much of a difference having money to throw at a court case makes. But that’s why settlements outside of court are so so tempting. Again, it’s also a degree of privilege.

So here’s your last option: the lottery. Which is just gambling. It’s 100% gambling and hoping it works. And a 1 or 2 dollar lottery seems relatively low loss on you for a whatever billion win. Whatever that comes out after taxes is still enough to keep you alive the rest of your life provided you don’t blow through it.

(Side thought on the lottery. If the state has like, a lot of money set aside to give to a random lucky person, why not just actually divide it and give it to the people? Or put it towards the roads/a school/whatever program??

The current mega millions jackpot for 10/24 is $114,000,000. $114 million dollars. So that’s not a lot if you split it out to the population, but I still don’t understand why not put that jackpot money into the roads instead of the amount earned with people buying lottery tickets. Idk idk it just feels like the state is dangling money over you head sometimes. Heehoo look at this money that could quite literally save your life come dance for meeee)

So it would seem the only guarantees for getting enough money to live (cuz remember the minimum wage isn’t livable anymore even with full time hours) let alone retire is some combination of privilege and luck. Lucky us.

[aleenapaulsposts]

Scared ! Yes I to when I completed this video .but not to worry . my intention was not to scare you .but just a fucking reality of scary human trafficking which no one wants . just a frightening story reality of human world .

HUMAN TRAFFICKING

A hidden story of Human trafficking where number of human sold every day for profit

ALEENA PAUL || NEW DELHI INDIA



Hi am just a consciousness raising women and i want to tell my story because we matter our voice matters.

Who are these human and where do they come from ? Mysterious isn’t it ! How do we address them? no Clue I know .these human are fucking layers who trap innocence forcefully for some profit .

Now what exactly human trafficking is ?

Human trafficking means buying and selling of the human being for illegal and unlawful purpose .in other words a illigal business for profit purpose which is done by forcefully .

There are many unsolved mysterious case related human trafficking around the world .

And why they are unsolved in many cases ? Why it take so much time and difficult to solve ?

Due to the complex nature of the crime traffickers often operate under the radar and those trafficked are not identifying as a victim. They acton blame the selves for their situation .this make it more difficult to identify the crime becouse victims rarely report their situation.

The biggest reason is fear, shame and guilty. Guilt can make a person so hopeless the victim blame her self for her own situation . victim shame her self for such activities. A screem which can be heard but ignored due of fear of isolation , financial control , threats , intimidation, physical and sexual violence , fostering drugs and alcohol due to any situation.

Research shows that large amount of human trafficking are involved in sax trafficking, organ trafficking, child labor trafficking and debt bondage in commercial marketing .mostly adult womens and underage girls exploitation of children trends globally.



Types of human trafficking involved in sex trade , forced labour , domestic servitude , economic sector profit most in daily base are human trafficking , agriculture, restaurant, manufacturing industry , domestic works , entertainment, hospitality, commercial sex industry .

Human recruit by traffickers force to groom nicely for sex activities some kids force to be beg they done violence beaten them burn them take their organ and sold illegally in medical hospital to donors in higher profit .

You can see there is no age boundaries . a small new born till adults are involved in human trafficking.



Now Human trafficking are not just happen outer environment but inside our home also between our family and relative most kids forced to do marriage some money , children are force to do labor work in field for financial purpose some are debt bondage force kid to do labor work to pay their debt. Now this show not strangers but our own family also work such activities.

How does it begin?

People in sex trafficking situations almost always know and even trust or love their traffickers. Traffickers target vulnerable people who have needs that the traffickers can fill. Sometimes they offer material support – a place to live, clothing, a chance to “get rich quick.” Other times they offer love, emotional support or a sense of belonging. Kidnapping victims and forcing them into the sex trade through violence is rare.

Who are the traffickers?

Traffickers come from all genders, races, ethnicities and walks of life. In sex trafficking situations, they may be intimate partners or spouses of the victims, family members, friends or benefactors, business acquaintances and bosses.

‍Who are the victims?

Anyone can be trafficked, but some people are far more vulnerable than others because they have greater needs. These include people living in poverty or in unstable housing situations, as well as people with a history of trauma or addiction. Because of current and historic discrimination and inequity, people of color, immigrants, and people who identify as LGBTQ+ are more likely to be exploited for these vulnerabilities and face trafficking.

Why don’t victims just leave?

In many cases, people in sex trafficking situations do not see themselves as victims while they are being trafficked. They have been so expertly manipulated or “groomed” that they believe they are making their own choice to engage in commercial sex. These emotional ties are as powerful as being held in handcuffs or behind bars. People in sex trafficking situations may well also depend on their traffickers for physical needs like money or shelter. They may face threats against them or their families or violence if they complain or try to leave.

How do people get out of sex trafficking situations?

Every story is different. What they have in common is resilience. Survivors come to the understanding that they want to leave the situation, and then fight to get out. Sometimes they get help from service providers, or anti trafficking organizations, but the concept of “rescuing” adult sex trafficking victims is misleading and dangerous. Survivors rescue themselves.

How do we reduce or prevent sex trafficking?

Human trafficking doesn’t happen in a vacuum. It is the end result of other inequities in our society and our economic system that make people vulnerable to the enticements of traffickers. So while prosecuting traffickers and seeking justice for survivors is vital, it is not enough by itself to end trafficking. To reduce trafficking at the massive scale of the problem, we need to work together as a society to increase supports and services for vulnerable people and change conditions – like homelessness, family violence, poverty and discrimination – that make people vulnerable to the lure of traffickers



LAW FOR HUMAN TRAFFICKING

Trafficking in Human Beings or Persons is prohibited under the Constitution of India under Article 23 (1)

The Immoral Traffic (Prevention) Act, 1956 (ITPA) is the premier legislation for prevention of trafficking for commercial sexual exploitation.

Criminal Law (amendment) Act 2013 has come into force wherein Section 370 of the Indian Penal Code has been substituted with Section 370 and 370A IPC which provide for comprehensive measures to counter the menace of human trafficking including trafficking of children for exploitation in any form including physical exploitation or any form of sexual exploitation, slavery, servitude, or the forced removal of organs.

Protection of Children from Sexual offences (POCSO) Act, 2012, which has come into effect from 14th November, 2012 is a special law to protect children from sexual abuse and exploitation. It provides precise definitions for different forms of sexual abuse, including penetrative and non-penetrative sexual assault, sexual harassment.

There are other specific legislations enacted relating to trafficking in women and children Prohibition of Child Marriage Act, 2006, Bonded Labour System (Abolition) Act, 1976, Child Labour (Prohibition and Regulation) Act, 1986, Transplantation of Human Organs Act, 1994, apart from specific Sections in the IPC, e.g. Sections 372 and 373 deal with selling and buying of girls for the purpose of prostitution.

State Governments have also enacted specific legislations to deal with the issue

ROLE OF STATES INVOLVED IN Human trafficking

A compulsory high-quality education, income generation and employment opportunities should be created.

Promote high-quality programmes for teachers in government schools.

A preventive measure by different nations should be shared among each other to help both the countries in preventing trafficking.

  NGOs

The community should keep a vigilant watch on the movement of child victims of the area of traffickers.

They should educate and ensure to make parents are aware about the safe migration practice.

Media

Media has a very important role due to major viewership.

Transmitting the appropriate message to the victim to ensure that they have a backup and are not alone.

A programme to make citizens aware of places and institutions to seek help in case if they are victimised.

Educate and spread awareness that human trafficking is illegal and inappropriate and that it has negative consequences.

People need to speak out and let this issue be known so that human slave trade will come to an end.

To begin solving the issue for human trafficking, everybody needs to start fundraising. Raising money for this issue will not only help by bringing awareness to this modern day slavery, it could help prevent it. Donations are relied on to help maintain nonprofits that help shelter homes for victims.

At last I just want to say ……

I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do.” —Edward Everett

Quote which inspired me

Sat , sep 16 2023

AWARENESS BLOGGER. 41

[torturedpoeticsoul]

Speak it to Existence

Ugh, I am just so frustrated, and the worse part is, the only person I have that is 100% in my corner is behind bars. Although, it is due to a wrongful conviction which we are appealing, it doesn't solve my feeling of loneliness. My biggest fear however, though I never say it out loud is, what if he doesn't win the appeal? I mean, there are plenty of ppl in prison that are innocent, and unfortunately, we know what color most of them are.

Sometimes the loneliness, although silent, fucking screams at me, reminding me over and over how I have absolutely no one, smh. I don't even want to talk to my therapist anymore because its via video, and I feel like I can't even speak freely because my house is never empty. I am literally never alone physically, but, emotionally, mentally, and financially, I am on my own.

I am at least able to express myself here, but, even here, I fear someone I know will find me and my words and use them against me. My best friend tends to use my words against me as she tries to reiterate how she is always there for me, and to an extent she is. I know if she has it, then I need not worry, and vice versa. The issue comes in whereas I move with a sense of urgency if she is in need, like will literally drop everything for her. If she is in need and I don't have it, I take it personal and move mountains to get it for her, but, I can't really expect me from someone else right? Because, if I am in need, she will come, but, eventually.

The worse part is, I am not only single, but a single mom and single parent. I differentiate because I always felt like single parent is indicative of there being a pair and thus co-parenting, and a single mom means just me. My younger son has his dad also, although not as much physically as financially, so I know if I can't do something, his dad will. My older son doesn't have his father physically or financially, although he does have him emotionally. His father is incarcerated (not wrongfully convicted but excessively sentenced), but, ironically, his father is more of a presence than the little ones whose father is just always working lol.

I don't know, I guess, i just really really don't know how the hell I got to this point in my life. I mean, I have devoted 20 years to my love for real estate and helped numerous others with their careers to only be completely bankrupt right now. I have given (I think) anything I have to my friends and significant others and family to end up completely alone. I have given numerous rides to those aforementioned, and even let many borrow my car with no complaints of gas, mileage, or maintenance and yet I can't even get a fucking ride to Walmart to pick up the groceries I ordered, Ughhhhhhhhhhhh.

I haven't the slightest clue where my next significant amount of money is coming from (because unemployment doesn't even cover my rent) and yet I have a field trip to pay for, lunch money to give, rent to pay and car to to get out of repossession. Although I have given to help others out of their binds with a smile and no complaints, and here I am wiring to a webpage that only I see just to get it out because not one of those people can even bother to help me.

I'm an adult so I am not bitter because truthfully, it isn't their responsibility, it's mine. I guess I am more hurt, and the truth of it all is just a bit sobering. My mom steps in when she can, but, I still owe her from the last time she helped. Yep, I owe my mom $1500, but, she is at least waiting until i can pay her and doesn't ask for it. However, I am very aware of the fact that I owe her, and she will definitely make sure i don't forget that fact. Never mind that she has given freely to absolutely all of her other children without a need for repayment, but, that has never been an option for me. I always wondered if that was her way of making me stronger or work harder, or, if I really am just an afterthought for her. Sometimes, I feel like I am an afterthought for everybody, except my sons. I mean in the past, when my dad was alive, I would call and talk to him and I could ask him for help. I didn't do it often (for the most part) so he would give it because he knew it took everything in me to ask anyone for for anything.

That's what makes my current situation so bad because if it weren't for my kids, I would rather die than give someone something to hold over me by asking them for help. Here I am, desperate enough to ask and I don't have a fucking soul to even ask smh.

I remember one of the main reasons I likes calling my dad to talk is because he didn't judge, or give unsolicited advice. He just listened intently, and he seemed so interested in everything I told him about my day, even if it was mundane, he would still just listen. Man do I miss that man, so much and even that is something I don't discuss with anyone. His death broke me the most out of everything i have experienced but, the aftermath hurt even more. Afterwards, my mother made sure everyone had a piece of him to remember except for myself and my next sister up from me. We both asked for sentimental things and sat quiet while she gave those things to other people. In fact, the only thing she felt the need to give me was his leftover opiates for my pain. She knows I suffered debilitating mensural cramps and dental issues and would often require prescription meds. Literally does she know, I had finished every single pill within 2 weeks because I used them to numb my heart instead. It's crazy that I never became dependent on them because I do have addictive tendencies, but, when they were gone, they were gone and I never thought about getting replacements. I took them at work, driving around my new city i had just moved to 6 months prior, I stayed awake for days at a time just taking pill after pill to forget my pain.

My father died exactly 1 year, 3 weeks and 1 day after I had my first child alone. I literally mean alone, because my parents had just recently moved to Georgia, my sisters couldn't get to me, and my sons father had gotten locked up when I was pregnant. So, it was just me and the hospital staff, and when they handed me my baby boy, I knew at that moment that I am all I have and all he has in this cold cold world.

So this loneliness is not a new feeling for me, so I have no idea why it is hitting me so hard this time. I thought I had resigned to this back in 2008, so why the fuck am I feeling shocked about it 14 years later? Maybe it's because I am scared, which is not a common feeling for me. I mean, I have a near debilitating fear of bugs, but, to be honest, that's it. I remember when one of my exes held a loaded 9 mil in my mouth and dared me to speak, I faced death at that moment and through teeth tapping the cold steel, I still managed to say "if you're going to kill me, then do it". The sad part is that I meant it, and what scared me more is the fact that I was almost disappointed that he didn't.

The thing that troubles me most with life is that I just want to win at it. I thought I had been doing everything I was supposed to in order to win at it, but here I am, 40, single, flat broke and all the fuck ALONE

[casspurrjoybell-18]

Mutual Desire - Chapter 22b

*Warning - Adult Content*

"There are many ways you can pay someone, right, Damien?"

Damien Clark wasn't following Alexander Nabokov nor did he have a clue where this bizarre question was heading to.

"What do you mean?" Damien coldly asked, clearly annoyed at his own confusion.

"Well, it's not just money that can be used to pay someone, and no longer own anything to that person."

Damien had no idea where Nabokov was going with this. 

Why couldn't he just give him the price the reparation had cost?

"Yeah, I guess," Damien conceded annoyingly.

"Have dinner with me tomorrow night," Nabokov let out so quick that he almost caught Damien off.

Damien couldn't help but breath a nervous chuckle. 

But what the hell was Nabokov doing? 

One moment, he stared at Damien with this judgemental look and next thing you know, he wanted to dine with him. 

What the hell?

Damien didn't share with Nabokov that he found his actions rather contradictory for the sole reason the didn't want Nabokov to realize how much his homophobia had harried him. 

Damien had no desire to give this satisfaction to Nabokov.

"What?"

Damien was able to let out after his chuckle. 

He had understood correctly but he wanted to once more hear what Nabokov had said to be certain he hadn't hallucinated these spoken words.

"Tomorrow. I want to have dinner with you," Nabokov repeated in a low voice.

Yep, he hadn't hallucinated. 

Damien's annoyance diminished a little. 

He lowered his head for a moment and lifted it to look at Nabokov in the eyes.

‘Grey Eyes’ remained unfazed as always.

No apparent trace of amusement or mockery appeared on his face.

It wasn't a joke, like Damien had thought. 

Nabokov really wanted to have dinner with him. 

Damien couldn't believe it.

 All of this were escalating rather fucking significantly. How could it all have happened in the space of not even five minutes?

"How is me, eating with you, considered me paying you?" Damien asked dryly.

"Being in your company. That's the value," Nabokov replied soothingly, his expression remaining nonetheless impassive.

Damien's hardened features relaxed instantly. 

His proud and haughty look abandoned him and quickly his heart violently manifested itself, his anxiety knocking on the door.

"I don't think that's a good idea," Damien said softly.

"I wasn't giving you a choice, Damien. Since you owe me, I have the choice to decide how you should pay me and it's a dinner with you that I want tomorrow night."

Nabokov was barely smiling but it didn't reach his unreadable eyes anyway. 

Damien wasn't oddly irritated by Nabokov's commanding voice. 

He was far too busy trying to seek an effective way out of that trap in which he had positioned himself. 

If he had simply accepted Nabokov's help and shut his big mouth, this dinner invitation would never have occurred. 

Damien suddenly remembered tomorrow’s bowling night. 

The odds seemed to finally be in his favor.

"I have something planned tomorrow night with some friends."

"Alright then. When you're done, come by my office, I'll wait for you."

Damien Clark wasn't surprised by Alexander Nabokov's answer. 

An answer that had his distinct signature next to it. 

Nabokov gave away this feeling that when he wanted something, he undertook absolutely everything to obtain it. 

There weren't any nos with him, nor any maybes.

"It might take the whole night and..."

"Even better, I'll have some more time to get some paper work done," Nabokov reassured Damien, interrupting him, botherless.

Damien didn't know what to say anymore or what pathetic excuse to make its way out of his mouth. 

He had the odd feeling of being a newbie lawyer arguing in court against a senior fellow with over twenty years of experience under his belt. 

He was clearly not of the same caliber as Nabokov when it came to arguing against the man or have the last word. 

Nabokov must be a hard-hearted businessman, Damien thought.

"I... " Damien didn't even bother completing his sentence which he left in suspense.

What was the point? 

He was only going to waste his saliva for a lost cause.

"Text me at least an hour before, so I have time to make sure everything is set."

Damien could only stare at the man standing at ease in front of him. 

Any excuse and willingness to obstinately refuse this dinner invitation evaporated. 

It was as if Damien had admitted defeat. 

Yet he had no one but himself to justly blame. 

He had dug his own grave the moment he had refused out of pride, the ‘gift’ offered generously by Nabokov.

"Good night, Damien."

Nabokov began walking towards the door, when he turned slightly to Damien. He regarded him with a particularly pierce stare.

"By the way, you two form a beautiful couple," the man commented, in a tone that sounded bizarrely like a threat to Damien's ear.

He stood there for three short seconds, watching Damien with that intense look. 

Nabokov then turned completely, marched towards the door and left, leaving a totally confused and helpless Damien standing motionless. 

Damien remained for long seconds trying to figure out what had just happened. 

Another unexpected encounter with Nabokov that Damien couldn't grasped. 

But what was certain is he had a rendezvous with the intimidating man.

 A dinner he would share with Nabokov. 

An evening in a one-on-one time with a man as enigmatic as his actions and words. 

Damien tried to do the math. Him + Nabokov + dinner + alone. 

He didn't have the result of this calculation and he would have it only once their dinner tomorrow night would come to an end. 

If dinner, there is.

‘To be in your company. That's the value.’

These words prevented Damien from easily finding sleep.

[fragileizywriting]

“expectations!” kitty screams. a full-bodied scream, rattling the portrait on the wall next to the couch, shaking the glasses on the table. “everyone— everyone expects things from me, i’m— oh my god.”

“kitty?”

“i’m— i’m gonna pass out,” she wheezes. “i’m having a breakdown. i cant do this. i have no sense of identity.”

“what do you—” he follows her to the living room.

“nothing i do is chosen by me. everything i do is chosen by my parents— my family— no one sees me like an adult. they see me as some kind of child hybrid. old enough to pay taxes, too young to spend my money to make the taxes happen.” she sits. lays down. hiding her face with her hands, letting her transformation unstitch in the middle of adrien’s apartment. plagg phases into view, petting her hair with a worried look. “expectations. expectations. i cant exist without expectations. i don’t exist, sunshine.”

“of course you do. of course you exist.”

“i don’t have me. i have facets of me. squirreled away to make myself advertising friendly, but for my parents. for my friends. for paris. and every single one my family just thinks im incompetent in them anyway. my family doesn’t let me pick anything. i bet you i cant go to the store and buy my juice because i should’ve bought the other one. im made to think im being unreasonable when i want to buy something for me—”

“breathe for me.”

she sobs. “i can’t do this. no one— i— i don’t have things that i like.”

he brings her a cup of water. but doesn’t dare to tell her to drink it. “there’s a lot of things about you that is you, though. you exist. for example, you like plants.”

“do i like plants? or is it that plants were one of the only things my family vetted for me to be a reasonable opportunity for me? a little hobby?”

oh. she might be onto something here— he sees where the exhaustion is coming from. “you like me.”

“i do,” she whispers. downing the water in one go, putting the cup on the coffee table, and laying back down. “but my uncle is the reason why we became friends to begin with.”

“i guarantee you if i weren’t mister bug we’d still be together.”

“if you weren’t mister bug, i don’t think you would’ve left me in your room that night.” she looks back up to the ceiling. “can i be something without people telling me how to be it?”

“what do you want to be?”

“i have no idea. i’ve been stuck in this that i don’t know— don’t even have the faintest idea— i have no clue. i don’t know the things i like. and i’m so scared.”

“this isn’t something that can be solved tonight,” plagg sighs. finally breaching the silence when adrien struggles to find words. “but just with everything, we’ll find it. whoever kitty is, and whoever she’s supposed to be, we’ll find it together. even if that means we gotta get through the hard parts first.”

[argyleteatime]

A Retrospective On Don't Tell Mom The Babysitter's Dead - As Watched as an Adult

1. The mom is horrible. She's leaving her 5 very unruly children, ages 7ish-17 alone so she can go to Australia for 2 MONTHS. Reason given: she needs a break. (Is the boyfriend who's paying for the trip going with? Does he live in Australia?)

2. She doesn't tell the kids they're having a sitter until literally the moment she's leaving. It is also some random old woman none of them have ever met before. The mom is the worst.

3. Where is this house? Is is across from some sort of paddock?

4. Nothing like dropping off an old woman's corpse at a funeral home and then continuing to drive her car around to stay under the radar.

5. All of these kids are awful.

6. As a child I thought Sue Ellen cleaning the lard bin out was the grossest thing ever, but really Sue Ellen just has no clue how to clean something.

7. The boss/Rose is a horrible judge of character.

8. As an adult, the impossible sounding task Rose give Sue Ellen when she starts makes perfect sense and is not so bad.

9. David Duchoveny's character and the receptionist are meant to be the bad guys, but they are correct on literally all of their concerns about Sue Ellen.

10. Sue Ellen is also awful, tying up the phone with personal calls, and shifting her work onto other people.

1. Why does she take all of the money from petty cash when she can't actually pay that much back?

12. These children are horrible.

13. 1990s high-tech technology is amazing.

14. I definitely owned those blank Maxwell VHS tapes for recording stuff off tv.

14. How old is the brother with the girlfriend? 12?

15. All of the outfits that Sue Ellen unveils at the big show (using her teenaged friends as models) at the end are super sexualized and creepy in hindsight.

16. Hot Dog truck guy driving past her house (where there is clearly an event going on) and professing his love for her/how they need to work it out over a loud speaker is not charming. Red flags, Sue Ellen , red flags.

17. In the end Sue Ellen demonstrates that her siblings could be brought in line, so back to #1, the mom sucks.

[millimononym]

The Attackers

here are Venus and Brambles, the attackers of my OC team! (i don’t have a name for the team yet. names are hard). Also if you remember the first oc post and remember the guys name and are wondering, yes, everyone in the team is named and has their looks based off plants. this drawing kinda looks weird cuz i drew the heads first like a dumbass

ANYWAY OC BACKSTORY/PERSONALITY TIME

so Venus is like...one of the only decent people in the entire team(don’t get used to it). She’s very energetic,bubbly and sweet. She also eats a lot. She grew up as the oldest sister in a poor household with a single mom and multiple siblings. As she’s an adult now(early 20′s) the responsibility of caring for her siblings falls on her as her mom is in the hospital. She uses the money she earns as a footballer to pay for her mom’s hospital bills and care for her siblings. She’s incredibly stressed (as you can see from her antennae,they droop when someone is feeling negative emotions) but tries to seem happy in front of everyone because she believes showing negative emotions will rub off on people and she doesn’t want that. She puts other people’s needs before her own because she likes seeing people happy. She doesn’t like conflict but CAN and WILL beat someone (cough cough BRAMBLES cough) up if they’re hurting kids. Dated Brambles at one point...i don’t know how that happened but i’m glad that’s over with

Brambles. This motherfucker. Actual alien equivalent of Ricegum. Going from talking about Venus to talking abt him is giving me whiplash. Absolute ASSHOLE. 0 redeeming qualities. anyway i should probably talk abt him now. He’s the brother of the teams’ backup player and Sugarcane’s cousin. He’s the oldest out of 4 siblings and is an absolutely horrible brother if you were wondering. Grew up in a rich household and is a spoiled brat. No wonder his father left (oh yeah btw his dad left lol). Regularly makes fun of the backup player(his youngest brother, who is SIXTEEN BY THE WAY) for having mental problems and attachment issues (HMMM I WONDER WHAT COULD’VE CAUSED THOSE. probably not LIVING IN A LOVELESS HOUSEHOLD WITH AN ASSWIPE OF A BROTHER). He’s even worse later but i’m not gonna spoil it. How did he manage to date someone as sweet as Venus. I have no clue. I don’t wanna talk about him anymore, his personality is draining to the brain. If he was a real person i’d spit on him

[[EDIT/UPDATE 19.8.2022: ok so i’m not really good at making my stories(i mostly make characters and specific scenes) but Brambles was a pretty barebones guy, even for me. Wasn’t much to him besides being his brothers abuser and being a disappointment to his family. So i wanted to flesh out his character a little more i guess (that’s a lie it came to me completely randomly while listening to music lol.(the music was Splitter Girl by weevildoing and Kareshi No Jude by syudou if u were wondering)).

This might change but as of now some things are added: Brambles was a child who took his familys’ neglect as any rational child would: By developing extremely violent tendencies to harm himself, and every other creature unlucky enough to be near him! ...yay. Frequent victims include animals(who he definitely murdered, by the way) and his youngest brother(hope i introduce him soon so i can stop calling him just that cuz its weird). His other 2 siblings were too slippery for it i guess. Plus theres 2 of them so thats twice as many hands to throw at his face, which they did. TIMEJUMP TO THE PRESENT, i actually have a reason for Brambles and Venus breaking up besides him being an asshole: Cheating. Motherfucker cheated on her with a defender in the team(who i ALSO havent introduced HNNNGHHH) and also cheated on him with Venus because NEITHER OF THEM actually KNEW about the other dating their boyfriend, so technically they were both cheated on. It didnt go to well for our boy here,as you can imagine. Probably gonna need to add some scars to his design now lol(maybe the back? cuz im lazy and dont wanna change anything). So yea those are the changes for now byee]]

WELL OKAY that’s them alright. As one last thing u may have noticed: you can see in the picture that they’re wearing matching collars. That’s actually part of the teams uniform (which i forgot to include in Sugarcane’s reference pic like a dumbass). Each position has a different color and the attackers one is red! A shame Venus has to share the position with Brambles but what can you do.

[casspurrjoybell-27]

In a Heartbeat - Chapter 17 - Part 1

*Warning Adult Content*

Simon

Call me a coward but I couldn't give Michael a proper response.

However, when I had given my half-assed 'maybe' response to Michael two years ago, I hadn't expected complete silence.

A part of me had expected him to go through with the plan on his own and I'd magically be given keys to a home and be reinstated as a pack member.

I even dreamt of living with Aspen and Cedar in a quaint home on multiple occasions.

When Michael had sounded so urgent and sure of this plan, I was certain he'd attack the pack within a week but it was like he vanished in thin air.

Months after our discussion, none of the rogues I knew had any clue where he was and it didn't appear that an attack on the pack was imminent.

So soon after, the dreams and hopes had nearly been forgotten and my life with Aspen and Cedar had gone on like nothing happened.

Sadly, our situation was getting worse.

Motel rates were rising and renting an apartment was out of the question.

Aspen struggled to keep his part-time jobs, Cedar was fifteen, uneducated and he was still too young to have a job.

All the kid talked about now was finding his mate and it was getting on both of our nerves.

Aspen was struggling to cope with his newfound bond with Sarah and I had been resorting to making money the only way I knew how.

Aspen hated it but I refused to quit.

We needed the money and I wasn't going to let Aspen work himself to death.

I made sure to keep it in under wraps from Cedar, despite his curiosity but the kid was too bright for his own good.

He knew something was up but for our sake shut his mouth about it.

"Sye," Cedar said, reaching for the peanut butter sandwiches I was making.

"What's a mate like?"

I paused, before setting the butter knife down, refusing to meet the kid's eyes.

He was a curious fellow, always questioning the world, asking random questions.

It took me almost a minute to collect myself before I forced a smile and looked up at him.

"They're... your other half," I started.

I hated lying to him but I also didn't want him to know the truth that I had to learn, even though I highly doubted he would have the same experience.

"They complete you, like the filling and the bread. Just eating the bread on it's own can be boring but with the jelly and peanut butter, it completes it."

"And makes it better," he grinned before chomping down on the sandwich.

He chewed on it before looking up with gleam.

"So when will I know?" I wiped some of the jam off his cheek before pointing to his heart, replying...

"You'll feel it right here. You'll feel this magnetic pull towards your mate and so will they," I continued.

"Then when you touch, that warm feeling here in your chest spreads all over. Your wolf will know and tell you that's the one."

He seemed in awe, almost ignoring his sandwich.

"And then, happy ever after?"

"Yeah," I replied softly, not wanting to upset him.

'If only it was that easy.'

"Sure thing, bud."

I ruffled his hair, before going back to making my sandwich.

Before I could dwell on it any further, I could hear Aspen's footsteps approaching the door before he busted in, a vexed look on his face as he threw his bag unceremoniously on the table.

"What's wrong?" I asked, approaching him near the door.

He looked at me, then at Cedar before huffing.

"I got laid off."

"What?"

He lowered his voice.

"They said they had too many people."

"That's ridiculous," I responded.

"What are we going to do?"

"I gotta find another job, maybe the grocery store down the road or I can see if there's anything maybe a little further away," he sighed before rubbing the back of his neck.

I frowned, even then, we'd have to wait a few weeks until he gets paid.

I made sure Cedar was focused on his sandwich before whispering...

"I can work these next few nights. Maybe double or triple until we can pay for the room and then..."

"Absolutely not," Aspen nearly shouted, gripping my arm so tightly.

"Are you insane? I don't want you 'working' at all if that's what you're going to do."

"We need the money, Aspen and if they laid you off, your other job won't cover the room," I insisted.

"No," he squeezed my arm.

"I'm not letting you do this."

"Aspen," I tried.

"No, end of story."

We frowned at each other before he walked past me, greeting Cedar and grabbing a sandwich.

Aspen didn't talk to me for almost the whole night, rather focused on trying to find new jobs in the area on his phone, as Cedar insisted on watching some old cartoon show that the old box TV actually could play.

I stared aimlessly at my phone, debating what to do.

As much as I didn't want to upset Aspen more, I couldn't just sit here and wonder how we were going to get money.

I was going to get that money, even if Aspen hated me for it.

I couldn't think of a good enough excuse to step out, so I waited and bid my time. I scrolled through the usual contacts I knew who would be willing, when I settled on one number.

I opened up the chat, telling him to meet me at the bar at midnight. He wasn't my favorite person of choice by far but he paid well, even if he was a bit rough.

'I'll be waiting,' came the reply, followed with a wink face that made me almost second guess what I was doing but when I glanced over at an all too cheerful Cedar and Aspen slowly nodding off with his cell-phone still in his hand from pure exhaustion, I knew what I had to do.

I waited until Aspen and Cedar finally retired to the bed to sleep, while I feigned sleeping on the couch, checking the time almost every ten seconds.

It was almost half-past eleven and I needed to head out soon or I would be late meeting up with Tom and if I was even a second late, Tom wouldn't hesitate to beat me red.

He had dabbled in bondage frequently and often would take things too far, especially if you made him mad and nothing made him madder than being late.

[purplesurveys]

1723

What happened last night? Celeste and I were stuck in Pasay after a private exhibit viewing (work-related) because I absolutely refused to traverse EDSA during rush hour on a Monday, so we killed some time by doing work in my car, then we had dinner at this Chinese restaurant where she taught me how to eat xiaolongbao. We killed some more time there then I drove her and myself home, and we had another one of the heart-to-hearts that would usually happen when she and I are together.

Who is the last boy you hugged? I can't remember. It must have been my dad when I bid goodbye to him while dropping him off at the airport.

What was the last thing you thought? How excited I am to see SE SO NEON. I impulsively bought tickets the second I learned they're coming to Manila this November, but it actually stopped feeling so impulse-y when I made the purchase because I genuinely want to see them. It'll be my first indie gig though so I'm kind of nervous...I imagine I'd just be vibing at the very back. I feel like the front would be filled with much younger kids hahah.

What are you thinking about right now? Well, ^ that. Aren't they essentially the same question?

Would you have sex with the last person you sent a message to? No I think she inconvenienced me enough times today for me to ever entertain that thought.

Would you consider yourself spoiled? When we were younger I definitely felt the sense that I was more spoiled compared to my siblings, but it was always being spoiled for a valid reason – in that they'd get me a book I want or a gadget I've been eyeing if my grades were kept high.

These days, my siblings and I are all adults, and we barely get 'spoiled' anymore; it's been our turn to give back, so to speak.

What was the last text you sent? I just sent back a 'thank you too!'

Do you break things when you are mad? Never. I don't get violent when I'm mad because I've seen other people be exactly that when they're angry and I've always hated it.

Whose hoodie did you last wear besides your own? My sister's.

Did something happen today that made you angry? Yeah. I had this media crew shoot a program segment on the exhibit I've been handling on behalf of my client, and out of the crews I've worked with so far for this thing, they gave me the biggest headache. They were unprepared with their script, the assigned reporter was unsure what to say and had no clue how he was going to be shot (he was also LATE), and the cameramen were so inconsiderate of the paying guests (blocking their view, asking them to move so they can get their desired frame) I had to tell them off a million times to NOT do that and to fuck off from any customer who actually paid money to see the show.

There's also a room in the exhibit where the visuals are timed from start to end, so once you're in you can't get out, in the same way that you won't be let in if you're late. Anyway, this crew decides this is the perfect time to shoot a frame of the reporter walking into the room, but both the dude and the camera guys took SO FUCKING LONG to get their shot that the exhibit staff just closed the doors on them, and I had to tell the crew that they were going to have to wait 30 minutes for the next viewing.

I specifically mapped out my schedule today so that they can end by noon and I can drive back home to make it to my 1 PM meeting on time, but because they missed that part of the show they had to do the entire exhibit all over again. A big chunk of my time then got wasted and I had to take my meeting in the car. -___- I feel bad that I was clearly visibly irritated the entire time...but c'mon. Don't act like VVVVVIPs when we've bent over backwards this whole time to accommodate you on short notice.

What did you do today? I spent 3.5 hours in traffic just to get to ^ that shoot, went home immediately as I was sick of working outdoors (which I've been doing since Friday), then worked at 10x speed to be able to catch up on work that had been piling up since this morning. After work I bought tickets for SE SO NEON and now I'm eating this really really delicious burger from Wendy's.

What did you do Friday night? I was actually monitoring a media crew's shoot for the same exhibit, just for a different show. After that I was stuck in traffic for an offensive amount of time which I felt bad for my Grab driver about and just gave him a massive tip as both a sorry and thanks. I can't remember what I did after... I think I slept early that night - around midnight - because that entire week had left me really exhausted.

Are you afraid of losing the last person you talked to? Mhm. I'm starting to get that feeling of dread more as I get older, too.

Are you lying to yourself about something? Let's go with a yes. I'm slowly coming to terms with what I know to be true, though.

Is your bed comfortable? As a bed it is, but it's a loft bed so I don't have an electric fan in front of me and so it gets really hot and uncomfortable when the weather isn't cooperating. These days I've been sleeping on my foldout sleeping bags positioned below the bed because at least I have an electric fan in this area.

Does it take a lot to make you happy? When I'm already pissed or uncomfortable, yes; but otherwise it is fairly easy to entertain me and make me smile.

Your best friend says to you now, “lets go to a party and get trashed!”? I'll be more surprised that came from her because she's mostly chilled out these days and I'm the friend who's always down to drink and be loud. Anyway, if it's RIGHT NOW right now, I'd probably say yes but I'd negotiate to go somewhere quieter as I need to go to the office tomorrow and it's not the best time to get 'trashed' LOL.

Who knows mainly all of your secrets? Are you still reading this? Then that person would be you. Haha

Can you go a day without thinking about the person that’s on your mind now? I'm not thinking about anyone.

What were you doing at 1 in the morning? Painstakingly trying to sleep. I had a particularly strong cup of coffee yesterday and the caffeine only kicked in the moment I was in bed, as if it did it on purpose.

If someone looked ON your bed, what would they find? Just my comforter and my BT21 plushies. Like I said, I've been sleeping in my sleeping bags these days so my pillows and blanket are here with me below my actual bed.

Were you single over last summer? Yes.

Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes? Not my eyes, but I've had people compliment my eyelashes because they're suuuperrr long. Also why I've never needed to put on mascara.

Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight? I highly doubt that. I would 100% be cranky beyond belief, and I hate being in that state because it's always embarrassing afterwards.

How many different people of the opposite sex have you cried over? My dad, my grandpa, Nacho.

When you think of the rainbow, what pops in your head? Pride.

Is the person you last texted single? No idea, I only met her today.

Was last night terrible? Not terrible, but very exhausting.

[emilemily]

Moving to Washington was very calculated. Florida had become too expensive and I have my only full-blooded sister here in WA. I was so excited to come out here and be close to her and her husband and my nephews. I was soooo excited to feel a normal sort of family bond for the first time ever now that we’re adults and can have one totally without the influence of anyone

But it’s almost as if I’m being pushed away and ostracized because I have made choices that they didn’t agree with.

Instead of taking another full-time desk job, I decided to continue doing online content while starting school for a bachelors degree in marketing

And ever since I made that decision and moved into my own apartment on may 1st, it’s as if my sister and her husband hate me. I reach out to him and ask if they’d like to do dinner, which my sister says is the way to his heart, and he says they’re super busy and we will meet up “one day soon”

He doesn’t text me at all anymore.

He last texted me about the job. I know my sister told him I didn’t take it and why, and he still texted me and asked why. Not that it’s any of his business, but I decided to answer him anyway.

I told him that this particular job is in a seasonal industry, which means that taking time off between May and October is not allowed. It was even in the offer letter. Given my health issues the last few months leading to tons of dr appts, therapy, ortho, and now physical therapy, how would that have ever made sense?

I said it way nicer than that, but still.

He left me on read and didn’t reply. A couple of days passed and he texts and says “sorry I didn’t reply, I just didn’t know what to say.”

No, you were sending a message. If you were told by my sister that I didn’t accept the job, then knowing you two, you asked her why and she said exactly why. You texted me that intentionally so that you could ignore me when I told you. If you already knew why I didn’t accept it, why did you ask me for the reason if you knew you wouldn’t know what to say?

You wanted me to sense your displeasure. You wanted to drive the point home. You won’t tell me what you’re really thinking, so instead you behave passive aggressively.

I have no clue on earth what I have done to be treated like this. I will be 30 this year and am perfectly capable of making my own decisions, whether you understand it or not. I have never once criticized you or even shown any negative feelings about anything you’ve done because I understand that you are free to do as you see fit.

We all are.

All I want in this world is to have a family. A real family that loves me and is there for me. Unconditionally.

I feel so frozen out by the people I moved here to be close to and it fucking hurts so bad.

I’m going through some serious medical shit and my own sister wouldn’t talk to me about it while I was so on edge yesterday. But texts are going through S about money and due dates and other things.

I’m just so confused and honestly, I think that this has impacted my mental health more than anything. Trying to read minds. Trying to understand without a lot of info or anything to go off of.

Maybe my being an internet slut bothers you. Fair enough. It’s not for everyone. But it’s paying my bills and keeping me afloat as I deal with medical shit whilst going back to school and finding myself for the first time in years.

Why do I have to wonder how anyone in my family feels about me? Why can’t I just feel loved? I try so hard to show love to others. I want so badly to feel close to them.

My work hours can be weird and at times unpredictable, but when I’m available, I’m there. I feel so judged it’s disgusting.

People get a taste of success and they completely forget where they came from. Fact of the matter is, your success could dissipate at any moment. Any singular moment. Your company could go under and that would be that.

But it’s thriving because of your work ethic. I’m proud of you for that. But work ethic isn’t always enough and your success could be snatched back at any moment. Stay humble. Remember who you were just 10 years ago. I know I haven’t forgotten.

My sister told me “Sorry if he was weird about you turning down the job… he just has a very…particular idea of what success looks like”

Crushed my heart. So is success sitting at a desk 5 days a week? Is it working my way up within a company that could put me out on my ass at anytime? Is it being a yes man? Is it getting into a company I don’t care about at a low level position just to kiss ass all the way to the top?

I’m sorry, but not everyone succeeds that way, or sees that as success for themselves. To someone that is success and I’m proud of anyone who is successful in their own eyes. But I will never be happy living a life like that unless it is something I’m passionate about.

Never ever ever

And that is my choice to make. My own burden to bear. I never asked you to find my success for me, nor did I ever beg you for guidance on how to find it.

In fact, I told you about the way in which I’d found my own success and you tried to push yours onto me.

I never needed that. All I ever needed was love, to feel cared for. To feel like no matter how you feel about my work, you still love and embrace me as your family.

I’ve moved thousands of miles from Florida for this and all I feel is alone and sad. Sick, alone and sad. I don’t understand.

We all have our shit, I know that. But how can family make me feel like nothing with such ease?

It hurts so bad I can’t even explain it.

One day I will feel like I belong and like I am loved.

Just not today.

If everyone in this world minded their business unless someone was hurting or needed help, my god how much better we would all be doing.

Goodnight.

[sonicenvy]

library mission statements about equity and justice are empty and meaningless bullshit until the day they practice them with their staff.

thinking about how much of a hot fucking mess my library is at the moment. sooooo many people are getting out because there's nowhere to go from where you are, the pay sucks, the benefits are nil and the admin also sucks. a lot of people who are getting out are also getting out of libraries and education in general because these are problems that are endemic to education in general. the rise in anti-intellectualism and misogyny are fucking us over as a field and i hate that for all of us.

when will the reckoning come for our field?

when will it come for the hypocrisy of our higher ups and admins for presenting institutions of learning as places of justice and equality while they ask educators and library workers to give our time and labor for free, because our work is "a moral imperative" an all important "pillar of society" etc etc, treat us like shit, pay us poverty wages, fight employee efforts to collectively bargain and unionize, over saturate our field with 30 hr a week "part time" positions like mine, and give the majority of front line, public facing staff no health benefits to go with our poverty wages, and require graduate level degrees for positions with "competitive" $40K/ year salaries.

oh you're heroes of society and your work is important, we wish you a very die in a hole.

i want to stay. i really really do, because I love this work and because i am good at it and because i think it's valuable and important work to be doing but god what the fuck. i hate how two-faced so much educational and library admins are about the work we do.

our institution stands for equity, liberty, and justice!

where the fuck is the equity and justice for the people who work in this field huh? why do teachers, college professors and librarians have to work for peanuts and be all fucking grateful to admin who have no fucking clue what the daily reality of our lives are and who don't give a shit about us??? for patrons and students that don't see us people??? what's the goddamn point??

There were college professors at my expensive private college who had to work in local bars to make ends meet because the pay was so trash and a professor of mine who lived in her fucking office one summer because she was fucking homeless for two months. sometimes our patrons talk to me and i think that we must live on completely separate planets or maybe in completely different universes. some of my colleagues are scrounging around for quarters to maybe be able to do their fucking laundry this week, while the patrons send their kids to $60k/year private grade schools and the upper admin talk about heading to their weekend vacation homes.

the admin at my library made a big splash at our last staff day about how they cared about employee mental well-being and that to that end they were going to give all employees an annual $100 well being fund. my mental well-being will be shit until i can afford fucking medical care that y'all don't care to help your 30 hour people get. fuck you and your $100.

there are states and municipalities that ban school teachers from unionizing. admins keep us in fear and near poverty because they know it divides us and it keeps us from organizing because we're all just barely scraping by and need our jobs. they use our passion up and spit us back out. it's no wonder that so many teachers and library workers are leaving.

the fact that our society doesn't do the real, hard work and show the real cash to support and nurture education workers is something that is a rot on our society and the lowering literacy in this country is a shining example of the consequences of this wilful anti-intellectualism and devaluing of our work and our personhood.

54% of american adults read at or below a sixth grade reading level, and we're seeing all the hot steaming garbage effects of this across this country in dreadful and tragic ways. say all the pretty, correct jargon-filled words that you want, but until you put your money and your care where that mouth is we smell the bullshit and see the lies. the rot is inside the house –– in the admin offices, in the legislatures and in the municipal governments that withhold funding from us and attack us on all sides with book bans, punitive rules and regulations for teachers' classrooms, the capitulation to ridiculous demands of parents and others who are not education professionals, and markets full of insulting pay. the rot is in the gop who hate us and the christians who want to make public education uniformed christian cult education. fuck all of you.

we smell the bullshit.

come read about the shitty realities of our work on the various education professional subreddits and look at insulting compensations on library and teaching job boards. if you care at all about libraries and schools I am literally begging you to fucking listen to us and amplify our voices about the state of this field. Go to your local officials, your school board meetings and your library board meetings and tell them that education professionals deserve living wages, decent health benefits, the guaranteed and protected right to unionization and safe, non-hostile working conditions.

we deserve to be treated with respect and decency in our workplaces and by our employers. we have a right to personal safety in our workplaces. we deserve to be treated as the educated, capable professionals that we are. we deserve to be paid living wages and paid for ALL of our time and labor. we deserve to be able to do OUR JOBS without having to do 50 other jobs we didn't ask for and weren't trained for. We deserve to work for employers who will practice what they preach when it comes to equity, inclusion, and justice. We have the same right to basic personhood and respect that everyone else does.

until y'all can support and agree that we deserve our rights and our pay, your support libraries and schools words are empty pretty words. support your striking school teachers, your library workers attempting to build unions, your striking museum workers and your underpaid college professors.

those unionizing ARTIC faculty and staff said it best:

“United we bargain,” they chanted. “Divided we beg.”

there is no national or international library workers union as far as I can tell. i wish that i wasn't so afraid to loose my job. i wish i could speak out and advocate for myself and my colleagues in my real life without fearing for my employment prospects. i wish we weren't all living in so much fear of unemployment because of the low pay we have now that we could speak up. i hate this situation we're all in so much.

also, like fuck the GOP so hard. with a cactus.

rant over for now. thanks for coming to my absolutely fucking furious ted talk about the state of library science and education.