#and I have :) at least one DM who's just 'oh I see; it's good when bad things happen! that's good dnd! :)'

[dullahandyke]

and like sidenote if i can make a post with a target audience of zero. i feel like fhsy was to d20 what aa3 was to ace attorney but aa3 pulled it off better for reasons i cannot explain

[blujayonthewing]

had an unexpectedly visceral response to a haha funnie video of sam reich telling brennan about how he thinks nat1s are better than nat20s because failure is so much more interesting, and brennan, obviously, being like 'OH you like failure? sam likes failure?? I wouldn't have guessed?? do you like it so much you'd rig a whole gameshow to make winning impossible???? HUH. WHO KNEW'

and like man I dunno, just, something about the specific intersection of having spent my entire life trying as hard as I know how and it still never being good enough and failing everything I touch no matter how important it is or how much I care about it, but also what it's like feeling like you're getting singled out and then punished for being good at something, how frustrating it is in dnd when the DM manufactures a failure out of what should have been a clear success because, well, you're just too good at perception but I thought it'd be more interesting if that ambush happened anyway haha, how it makes me feel like a whingeing spoiled child if I point out that doing a good job and being rewarded with success just fucking feels good, how at a certain point if you're too smart or too good at something people will start getting lowkey mad at you for it

and like maybe it'd be one thing if it was just 'oh yeah I love it when trying your best is frustrating and unfulfilling and never good enough' OR 'hey if you know too many bird facts too many times then everyone's gonna be gunning for you to get taken down a peg about it you smug clown bitch' but man it had to be both

[norrisainz33]

bubble || LN4

☆ summary: internet sleuths find out that lando norris has been flirting with and potentially dating a relatively unknown singer

☆ pairing: lando norris x singer!reader

☆ fc & warnings: zinadelphia & slightly suggestive. you are responsible for the content you consume

☆ requested: nope!

ﾟ. ✿ ୨❤︎୧⠀✿ . ﾟ

f1gossip has made a post

liked by user1, user2, user3, user4, user5, user6, yourbff and 18,345 others

f1gossip: it’s been brought to our attention by an anonymous user that our lando norris has been caught seemingly flirting in the comment sections (for at least the past 24 weeks based off the time stamps) with a small american artist, y/n y/l/n. he’s the only driver that follows her and has been consistently in her comment section hyping her up and calling her things like “gorgeous”, “talented” and “pretty.” what do you all make of this?

view all 653 comments

user1: oh my god lando????

user14: i��ve never once heard of this girl?

user2: how did we not know about this for the past 24 weeks guys wtf

user4: no like seriously…. seems like something we should have known already

user3: wait her music is really good tho 🥹

user7: her song mirrorball??? the girl has some vocals wow

user4: just looked her up and she’s beautiful… i see what he’s seeing

yourbff: screaming my head off at this

user1: and who are you??? do you know y/n??

f1gossip: check your dms yourbff

user5: she’s using him for fame!

user4: considering we all just found out about her…. imma go ahead and say no she’s not

user6: now how do i make this about me 🙂‍↔️

ynuser has added to their story

view all story the replies

user1: ooooo orange or papaya ???

yourbff: girl you fueling the flames with this post 😂💀

ynuser: HAHA i know… i got 24k new followers in the past 2 days since you sent me that post by f1gossip and figured id have some fun with it since there’s no hiding now

yourbff: who knew meeting that guy randomly in europe 6 months ago was going to turn out like this

ynuser: certainly not me girl. remember when i thought he was some weirdo who was just trying to hit on me in the bar??

yourbff: bc he had no rizz but max and p really swooped in and saved him and now look at you 🥹

ynuser: my perfect little no rizz baby boy 🥹 love of my life 🤭

landonorris: it’s papaya baby

ynuser: i couldn’t be too obvious now could i?

landonorris: nah go on then be obvious

ynuser: oh you want me to post you?

landonorris: yeah specifically that one pic you took of us in the mirror last night

ynuser: LANDO that is for OUR eyes only

landonorris: right yes

landonorris: i still think you should post me

ynuser: i don’t know if i want to burst our little bubble yet

landonorris: fair enough baby. you just tell me when! i’ve got paddock passes, pictures, plane tickets — everything lined up for when you’re ready

ynuser: 🥹😭 vegas? we go on our little vacation after im done my tour and you’re done in brazil and then pop the bubble?

landonorris: sounds great to me gorgeous but seriously no pressure

user2: my delusions are working over time

maxfewtrell: i’m trying so hard to defend your privacy and this is what you post

ynuser: what’s wrong with the color orange?

maxfewtrell: y/n

user3: ain’t ever seen you and lando in the same room but i somehow know yall doing it

user4: you’re so pretty and your outfits eat so hard wtf 😭

user9: praying this is a new song lyric idk who these new fans are talking about lando this lando that …. i need a new song

ynuser has made a post

liked by youbff, yourfriend2, yoursibling, landonorris, maxfewtrell, ynupdates, and 54,235 others

ynuser: baby’s first headlining tour was a success! thank you to everyone who came out and sang along with me every night. i love you all dearly 🤍 and for all the newbies here, welcome 🫶🏻

view all 324 comments

user1: oh she’s so cute

user2: starting a y/n fan club rn yall

yourbff: you are making those dreams come true bb girl

ynuser: trying to 🥹

yoursibling: cutie patootie i love you

ynuser: i love you more

user23: the peoples most beautiful princess 🤍

user9: who are all you new people here

user2: lando norris fans. who are you?

user9: a y/n y/l/n fan. who is lando norris?

user2: a formula 1 driver!

user9: race cars?? i did not expect that…

user8: taking note of lando and max in the likes

user4: also taking note of their lack of a comment…. lando has commented on every single one of her posts before the f1gossip post dropped

user16: i was there last night!!! best show ever!!! love you y/n

user19: i’m obsessed with those cherry earrings

landonorris has made a post

liked by maxfewtrell, quadrant, mclarenf1, oscarpiastri, ynuser, alex_albon23, and 823,104 others

landonorris: a much needed break. vegas here we come baby

view all 743 comments

user1: i don’t know where to look ,, at the wh*re in the first pic or the soft launch in the second my god 😮‍💨😍😭😔💀

user9: ok user2… i get it now. also i’ve seen those white shoes in y/n’s posts before it’s def her

user2: omg you’re an icon for this

ynuser: dmn y’all really can identify me by my shoes?

user9: YN WHAT ARE YOU SOING HERE IM SORRY

user2: y/nlando confirmed

maxfewtrell: interesting choice of photos mate

landonorris: thanks! picked them myself

maxfewtrell: yeah clearly

pietra.pilao: 🤍

landonorris: 🧡

user2: i’m speechless

user55: hey lando idk if u heard but there’s a lookalike contest happening in my room tonight. $59 cash prize

oscarpiastri: those aren’t max’s legs 👀

landonorris: you’d be correct

user12: this is monumental

user18: my favorite sinister, evil and orange little gremlin

user14: you’re gonna cook in vegas king

ynuser had posted to her story

view all story replies

yourbff: this dress is eating in a way i didn’t think it would. i’m sorry for doubting you

ynuser: never doubt me 😤

lilyzneimer: had so much fun meeting you at dinner this evening!!! looking forward to spending the weekend with you at mclaren 🫶🏻

ynuser: omg it was so fun getting dinner with you and oscar!! i’m so so so glad to have you as a buddy in the paddock. i was super nervous about it all

lilyzneimer: it can be very overwhelming at times but we’ve got you y/n!!

ynuser: that means so much to me 🥹

user9: mother is mothering … in vegas?????

user12: are you in vegas per chance?! for the formula 1 grand prix?! for lando norris?!

user2: i fr need style tips and grwm’s from you y/n. every time you post an outfit it moves me

landonorris: in my hotel room 😈

ynuser: you got it ☝🏻 now hurry up and get back here

landonorris: trust me im hurrying

user8: i need someone to get you on a magazine cover stat

f1gossip has made a post

liked by user1, user2, user3, user4, user5, user6, yourbff and 19,231 others

f1gossip: confirmed! y/n y/l/n, singer songwriter, is in las vegas with lando norris for the las vegas gp. this seems to be their first official weekend out together

view all 327 comments

user2: as someone who has been deeply invested since the beginning (3 weeks ago).. this is everything

user9: my girl 🥹

user10: i truly wonder how in the world they even met… they’re such an interesting pair

user18: mclaren admin please ask him this weekend

user13: that should be me 😭

user24: ok wait guys im at the gp and y/n was walking through the paddock with lily and we waved her down because we had made some lando merch and she was honestly so sweet and stopped and took photos with us and chatted for way longer than she needed to. i truly hope she never changes she’s an angel

user21: this is so wholesome

user23: i fear she’s on track to become the people’s paddock princess in record time

user18: i have no one to send this to who will get it

mclaren has made a post

liked by landonorris, ynuser, maxfewtrell, oscarpiastri, yourbff, and 432,444 others

mclaren: this weekends most requested interview just dropped! make sure to check out the full thing over on the mclaren app 🟠

view all 329 comments

user18: mclaren admin is a y/nlando girly confirmed

maxfewtrell: he’s leaving out the bit where i had to save him from completely bombing

landonorris: 😔 you’re not gonna let me live that down huh

ynuser: idk what would have happened if max didn’t come over and stop you from explaining why you hate fish so passionately

landonorris: babe please not on the public instagram

user2: lando norizz strikes again

landonorris: love when i get asked good questions like this!

user4: king said if one more person asks me abt wdc im gonna lose it. ask me abt y/n instead

user9: this is making it incredibly hard to gatekeep y/n

ynuser: that’s my man 🙂‍↔️

landonorris: damn right it is

user13: the mutual do you know who i am is lowkey so funny

landonorris has made a post

liked by mclaren, ynuser, yourbff, oscarpiastri, maxfewtrell, pierregasly, and 843,238

landonorris: thanks for being nice to me this time vegas!! oh and thanks for coming y/n 😈🏆

view all 854 comments

user12: i’m so proud of you lando

user9: wahooooo first race i watched and you won. i think me and y/n are good luck for you

mclaren: incredible drive lando! that’s our winner!!

ynuser: something about seeing you on that podium 😮‍💨

landonorris: oh you like that?

ynuser: yes 🤭

landonorris: alright podium finishes only from now on 😏

user19: oh you two are freaks i just know it

ln4: LFGGGGG

user13: congrats on the win and the hot gf 😭

carlossainz55: congrats lando!! and hi y/n!

ynuser: hi carlos 🤍

maxfewtrell: much better post mate

landonorris: why thank you. i worked hard on this one

user2: a win and a hard launch = double win for me

ﾟ. ✿ ୨❤︎୧⠀✿ . ﾟ

a/n: thanks for reading!! likes and reblogs appreciated 🫶🏻

ﾟ. ✿ ୨❤︎୧⠀✿ . ﾟ

disclaimer: pictures are not mine and everything i write is fiction

© norrisainz33 || please do not rewrite, translate, or copy any of my works posted here on to any other platform

[skythealmighty]

can you imagine if like. object show characters were active on tumblr . i mean fans on here but his account is dead so. i mean itd be fun

#rocket talk #roc save #Fan come Back we miss you

(0 notes)

💥 fans-fantastic-features Follow

OH MY GOD NEW TPOT EPIWODHWND IM GONNA GO INSANE ONE!!! TELL ME YOUR SECRETS ONE!!!!!!

1️⃣ theoneandonly Follow

:)

💥 fans-fantastic-features Follow

HELLO??

#oh my god HI . THIS IS LIKE IF A CELEBRITY CAME UP TO ME IN PUBLIC. #ARE THE OTHER ALGEBRALIENS ON TUMBLR??? #/WHAT/

(3 notes)

🧪 test-tubular Follow

My best friend is pacing around my lab. I think a new episode's come out on one of his shows...

#I love him (/p) but he's going to become an unskippable cutscene very quickly

(0 notes)

⛔ nowaynuhuh Follow

i love shrimpy but it feels like he rlly doesnt ... get what i mean you know 😔 at least hes trying to cheer me up? i just wish i had someone to really talk to when it comes to these weird things i keep seeing

💼 emotional-baggage Follow

hey, i completely understand how you feel! im going to be busy the next few days with a finale, but ive sent you a dm if you need someone to talk to ^-^

⛔ nowaynuhuh Follow

thanks, ill take you up on that later!

⛔ nowayhuhuh Follow

...suitcase?

#i dont think shes been online since that last post #i hope shes alright...

(5 notes)

💰 goforthegold Follow

Reblogging this every time I miss my co-hosts!

💰 goforthegold Follow

:(

💰 goforthegold Follow

:(

💰 goforthegold Follow

:(

💰 goforthegold Follow

:(

🎮 iamnotmrkrabs Follow

Are you Okay

💰 goforthegold Follow

Take a wild guess.

(512 notes)

🥈 5centwonder Follow

why do people keep messaging me about hotel things?? i barely even go in two's hotel!

🥈 5centwonder Follow

yowie, you all need a hug :(!!

#especially you baseball guy!!! #im giving everyone in the comments a nice warm soft cookie

(19 notes)

🆚️ wordswithfriends Follow

Reblog if you think Flower winning BFB was a good choice, you like cheesecake, you hate Steve Cobs, you think Platinum is annoying, you're a fan of Dr. Fizz, you watch Jasonville TV, you think Glowstick's elimination was deserved, or you're gay

#they'll never know which one #i'm gay

(3,724 notes)

🔌 electricalmusical Follow

WHY IS THERE INTERNET IN RJE AFTERLIFE HELLO

👑 kingofeverything Follow

OMG NO WAY

🎡 not-tally-hall Follow

GET OFF OF TUMBLR.

🔌 electricalmusical Follow

YOU HAVE??? A TUMBRL???????

🎡 not-tally-hall Follow

...no.

👑 kingofeverything Follow

reblog if u dont have a tumblr

🎡 not-tally-hall Follow

This is stupid.

(10,734 notes)

🍿 stevecobseviltwin Follow

imagine needing to be Consistent to be popular

🖍 magic-crayons Follow

You know it girl!!!

🍿 stevecobseviltwin Follow

AYYYEEEE

#idk who u are but we should hang out Now

(3 notes)

🟢 greenyguy Follow

🅱️alls

(42,853 notes)

🎒 liam-plecak Follow

Oh my god I finally got this thing to connect to the internet. Okay.

Hello, Tumblr, my name is Liam Plecak. I'm sorry for the tag spam, but this is an urgent enough matter that I think warrants it.

For the past year and a half, I've been trapped in another universe with little-to-no communication to anyone else. I've been reading a few posts here and there, and I think some of you might be able to help with freeing me and my friends (I think some of you have powers?). Below is an in-depth description of where I am, what happened, and who did this to me. Please, if you can help, send me an ask.

Keep reading

💥 fans-fantastic-features Follow

oh my god? liam from hfjone is fucking real????

🎒 liam-plecak Follow

I'm sorry what

[wcters]

𝗦𝗣𝗜𝗟𝗟𝗘𝗗 𝗖𝗢𝗙𝗙𝗘𝗘 𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗡𝗘𝗪 𝗦𝗛𝗜𝗥𝗧𝗦

pairing: daniel ricciardo x fem!reader

word count: 1.9k+

summary: you run into daniel at a race, completely oblivious to who he is and what he does ━━ or ━━ a spilled coffee turns into a lot more than you thought it would

warnings: readers job is a crime scene investigator (it’s important, i promise), some awkward moments (i know nothing about flirting), some swearing, violence, sexual innuendos | may not be the best writing as it is my first time writing for f1 and i’m still new, first time trying instagram dm’s and things like that so let me know what you think!

The sound of the apartment door opening fills your senses as you wake your way into the apartment, pulling your shoes off and putting your keys in the bowl. You brush a hand through your hair as you breathe out a big sigh. When you get home, you finally let the days stress hit you, then you brush it off, and separate yourself from your work. It’s important not to bring home what you do. It would be damaging. As you make your way to the kitchen to refill your water-bottle, your phone rings from inside your pocket.

Setting your bottle down, you answer it without checking who it is. “Hey!” Your friends voice chimes out. By the sound of it, she needs a favour. “Hey. What do you need?” You ask her, lightly laughing as she gets out a “what do you mean?” “I know your voice. Now spit it out before I reconsider.”

“You know how I was going with Kayla to the Miami Grand Prix?” You nod, forgetting she can’t see you. “Yeah ━━ what was that again?” “It’s a formula one race being held.” You hum in response. “Well, she came down with a cold, no one else is available, and these paddock passes were too expensive to not use. Will you go with me?” You can hear her smile over the phone. “I don’t know . . .” “Come on y/n, you never go out unless it’s grocery shopping, work, or when I drag you out. This will be good for you. Plus, it may get you into formula one so I have another person to talk about it to.” You chuckle at that.

“First of all ━━ you are dragging me out, and second of all you do talk to me about it.” She lets put a huff that you know means “you know what I mean”. You do never really go out. It’s not that you’re a hermit and don’t want to, you just don’t get a lot of opportunities to and when you do, you can’t help but remember places you’ve been to at work and what happened there. At least at these Grand Prix thing nothing bad has happened as you know. “Fine.” She squeals and says thank you a million times before telling you when it is and when she’ll pick you up.

That’s how you end up in the paddock at the Miami International Autrodrome, following your friend around as she explains different things to you and fangirls over people. You remember some names that she had told you during one of her rants, and you smile when you see the smile on her face. You’re glad that she’s having fun, that makes you happy and makes this more enjoyable. During your walk, you stop at a coffee bar and grab an iced coffee while she gets a redbull coffee ━━ whatever that means ━━ and explains how the redbull team has it at every race. “You’ve wanted to try that since forever right?” You ask her, trading coffees and taking a sip. “Yeah. It’s supposed to taste amazing and also gives me the boost of caffeine coffee is supposed because it doesn’t from how much I drink.”

As you sip and she chugs her drink, you stop in front of a bathroom and she instructs you to wait as she goes in. You wait a little ways away, tucked out of the way and scrolling through your phone. It seems the person coming your way was also doing that as he accidentally bumped into you. You drop your phone, coffee lid opening and spilling down your shirt. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry!”

The first thing you note is that this coffee is incredibly cold, and that the man who bumped into you has an Australian accent. You bring yourself back and out of the cold feeling, facing the man. He must work here because he has a RB racing shirt on and a lanyard. “It’s alright.” You politely smile and pick up your phone. It’s not. It’s cold as fuck and it’s wet. “I wasn’t watching where I was going and,” his voice trails off as you look around for an area to get something to clean you up.

There’s a pause before “I have an extra shirt in my room if you want.” The man offers. You’re a bit puzzled as to why he has his own room but you’re too concerned on the feeling of coffee in your shirt. “You sure you wont murder me?” You asked, arms crossed and eyebrow raised. “Yes, I’m sure.” You stare at him for a little longer before you nod and tell him to lead the way. “I’m Daniel,” he tells you. You introduce yourself as you wrap your arms around yourself, feeling self conscious at the way people are staring at you two.

“Straight to murder, eh?” He joked as you followed him. You shrugged, “it’s my first instinct. My job revolves around it.” He looked at you with a puzzled look, as if asking you to explain. “I’m a crime scene investigator,” you revealed as you got to a door and he led you in. You take in the surroundings as he opens a closet and digs around to find you a clean shirt. “My job is to determine ━━ well, more like make an educated guess ━━ on if the person was assaulted and how.” You thank him as he passes you a shirt he finds. He stands waiting for you to continue until he lets out an “oh!” and turns around, blush on his cheeks as he apologizes.

“How do you do that?” He seemed genuinely interested in your conversation, not just making small talk to cover the fact that a woman he’s just met is changing behind him. “The main thing I do is blood pattern analysis,” you start, voice slightly muffled as you skip your shirt off, “blood behaves to specific scientific principles as all liquids do, and so i use that information and what blood there is at a crime scene to do that.” You grab the RB shirt from between your legs and slip it on, telling him he can turn around.

“So we can analyze the size, shape, distribution, location and use the behaviour of blood, physics like the velocity and capillary action, math to determine things such as where did it come from, what caused the wounds, and how were they positioned to make a guess or determine what happened.” Daniel makes a slightly shocked face. “You can do all that from a blood splatter?” “Yeah, just like any other pattern,” you shrug while smiling, you feel proud, “I took a course on it. It’s really just looking at what’s around you. It takes a trained eye.”

“I think you’re one of the smartest people I have ever met.” He tells you, and you blush. “Thanks.” You mumble. You both stand there before you mumble about having to get back. “Oh right, of course. I’m sorry.” Daniel apologies as he reaches for the door and opens it, allowing you to go first. You walk side by side as you continue to talk about your work. When you get to the end of the garage, you say goodbye and you head to try and find your friend.

You eventually bump into her at the same coffee station. “Where were you?” she almost yells, “I was so worried!” “A guy spilled coffee on me and then offered to get me another shirt. I think he worked her. His name was Daniel.” Your friend finally notices the shirt you’re wearing and a look comes across her face. “Daniel Ricciardo?” “I don’t know. I didn’t get his last name.” You shrug, not realizing what the big deal is. Who’s this Daniel Ricciardo and why is he so important.

“What did he look like?” She pestered. “Tall, curly brunette, Australian,” she interrupts you with a gasp. You look at her confused. “That was Daniel Ricciardo, the F1 driver?” You look confused until you remember how she was talking about him a couple weeks ago. “Oh . . . Cool.” “I can’t believe you’re being so chill about this.” She shakes her head with a small smile. “I just don’t know that much about this, and don’t really care if he’s famous. He bumped into me and ruined my good shirt.” You tell her, lifting up the shirt. You laughs and let’s put a “true.”

You continue the day as you would’ve, her telling you more about Daniel Ricciardo, and pointing out his car during the race, as well as the other drivers. You’re starting to understand a little more. She gets a couple photos signed from other drivers and you both leave happy. You happy that you learned some new things and got a break from being inside your house and her happy that she got to do this. You knew it had been something she wanted to do forever.

When you go to bed that night after throwing your dirty shirt in the laundry with another load, you hang up the shirt that Daniel gave you and went to bed thinking about what happened that day, and that you also didn’t get a refund for your coffee.

yourusername

liked by yourfriend, kayla.k, and 238 others

yourusername had a fun weekend! thank you @yourfriend for the tickets and to the guy who spilled my coffee: you are forgiven because of the new shirt you got me, but i want a refund for my coffee 😌

view all 27 comments

yourfriend can’t believe you met daniel ricciardo and yet you want a refund for your coffee

↳ yourusername that was a good shirt :((

↳ kayla.k you met daniel ricciardo?!

kayla.k never been more mad at myself for being sick

user1 rip coffee

user2 so jealous

danielricciardo

liked by yourusername, landonorris, and 556,927 others

danielricciardo miami was great. not sure if he is alive but very happy for lando norris. and to the girl who’s coffee i spilled: i am very sorry but at least you got a t-shirt out of it 😄

view all 1,763 comments

landonorris i’m not sure if i’m alive either but thanks mate

↳ danielricciardo always

user3 that last photo 💀 you know he messed up something

user4 you spilled someone’s coffee? how’d that happen?

charles_leclerc from the videos i have, i’m not sure he’s alive either 😂

yourfriend @yourusername

↳ yourusername what?

↳ yourfriend he talked about you!

↳ yourusername i guess so 🤷‍♀️ i still want my refund

user5 he’s too cute

f1gossip

liked by user1, user2, and 62,947 others

f1gossip daniel ricciardo was seen out for dinner last night in miami with mystery girl a couple days after the miami grand prix. who do you think she is? 👀

view all 2,286 comments

user1 maybe that’s the girl who he was talking about in his instagram caption

↳ user2 i doubt it. it’s not like their meeting was a big thing, he just spilt her coffee

user3 i’m just wondering why we’re still getting all up their personal lives

user4 you can tell it’s daniel from how tall he is . . . or the girl is incredibly short

↳ user5 i think it’s just daniel’s giant frame

user6 don’t crush my dreams 😩😩😩

yourfriend @yourusername girl what

yourfriend @yourusername text me asap

You didn’t even have time to see your friends comment on instagram before she’s calling you. “Hello?” You asked, making your way to your apartment. “Was that you in that post?” “What post?” You heard a scoff of disbelief. “The one with daniel and a girl who likes strikingly similar to you on a date last night? You just told me you were busy. Not busy with daniel ricciardo!” She yelled the last bit and you had to pull your phone away from your ear.

“I didnt know I had to! It was just a date.” You explained as you opened your apartment door and took off your shoes. “It doesn’t matter if it’s just a date, and it doesn’t even matter that much about who it’s with, you haven’t been on a date in forever.” You could tell she was genuinely happy for you when she said that and you smiled and blushed. You shrugged even though she couldn’t see you. “You have to meet me at a coffee shop and spill.” “Alright. Twenty minutes?” You replied. “See you soon girlie.”

You were there within fifteen minutes and were greeted with your friend smiling at you. You hugged her as she got up to greet you and then you sat down, taking a sip of the coffee she ordered you. “Besides the fact that he’s a famous driver, i am really happy for you babe. It’s good to see you happy and taking some time for yourself.” She told you as she grabbed your hand across the table. You smiled at her as you thanked her. She gave you a look as if asking you to start talking. “He’s really nice.” You gushed.

Her smile got wider than you’ve ever seen. “That’s so good! What happened? Where did you go?” “He picked up from my apartment almost 10 minutes early,” “ooh he’s early, gentleman.” Your friend teased. “He held the door open to the car and the restaurant. We went to that place on the corner near the diner we always go to. It wasn’t too fancy, it was like he knew what I liked.” You continued to ramble, your friend becoming more and more excited. “Yeah, so, I think we might be doing it again.” You finished, your coffee almost done.

“Y/n. Oh my god. You have to text me after and let me know. I want to know if this works out. I really hope it does.” “I will text you immediately after, unless we end up watching a movie or something.” She winked at you when you said that.

yourusername posted to their story!

yourusername

liked by danielricciardo, yourfriend, and 23,294 others

yourusername all because of spilled coffee ☕️ p.s. i got my refund

view all 1,836 comments

yourfriend I KNEW IT

yourfriend i’m a mastermind 🤷‍♀️

user1 is that daniel ricciardo

user2 so cute!

danielricciardo ❤️❤️

↳ yourusername love you 🤍

user3 is this the coffee girl?

↳ user4 i think so, it has to be right?

user5 WE FOUND HER Y’ALL

kayla.k i’ve never been more jealous but also happy i couldn’t go to that race

danielriccarido

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danielricciardo never been more glad to spill someone’s coffee

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landonorris WHAT

user1 she’s an icon already, i can tell

yourusername you really outed me in the last one 😧😔

↳ danielricciardo that’s my job!

maxverstappen1 why didn’t i about know this??

↳ danielricciardo i’m sorry babe 😭😭

user2 y/n is really just a third wheel

↳ yourusername i love my boyfriend and his boyfriend

↳ user3 ICON

georgerussell63 next you’re going to announce that you’re secretly american and from texas

↳ yourusername 🤫🤫🤫

↳ user4 you’re joking.

user5 i don’t know if i want to be him or her

[kaiser-author-san-iii]

Star Light, Star Bright | Fatui Harbingers x (Fem)Creator!Reader

A/N: holy Tsarista, I did not think that it would be this popular. Thank you so much!! It's been a couple months since I got into Genshin, but I'm glad that the Harbinger trailer dropped cause otherwise, this probably wouldn't have existed lol. I apologize for the late update. I have been quite stumped in the plot and just taking a moment to come up with one. If I didn't tag everyone, I'm sorry! DM or reply to be added to the taglist! :3

Summary: Caring for children is hard, but it's especially hard when around the Fatui. Getting isekaied was the last thing on your mind after landing in the icy tundra of Snezhnaya all while your nephew is with you. What will happen when you encounter not only a Fatui Skirmisher but a Fatui Harbinger?

Tags/warnings: female reader, God!reader, Cult AU,

Not edited or beta read, we die like Signora.

First>> Next>>

Masterlist>>

Chapter 2: The Creator's Welcome

Silence.

What could be said while the entire palace and the surrounding area waited with bated breath for their Grace to awaken?

They were fervent - they waited to leave and search for the "meaner" that has done harm to their Beloved but that would leave their Previous Grace with only the Heir for company and guard.

The Precious Heir - they have heard of them only from what was written centuries ago. He was beautiful - he was innocent and was crying for their Grace to wake up all while the Harbingers stood by with the Tsarista finally making her appearance, rushing towards the bed that their Grace rested in, bending the knee and holding their hand.

"Your Grace. Your Excellency. Oh, my Beloved Creator. What has that Meaner done to you?"

Nugget never left your side as he clutched onto your waist, but being careful with your arms as he was told by the blue-haired man with the mask. He was a doctor and clearly knew what he was talking about so the little one made sure to listen well. The Doctor man and the others gave them a room which is what his Auntie expected and though he was focused more on taking care of you, it was nice to wander around the room all while the Harbin Gingers (It was some word that he had trouble saying) always came to check on him and his auntie and even gave him coloring books and sweets and fruits. It was all so good and he made sure to save you some whenever you were going to wake up.

But he especially loved the Tsarista and Columbia (Colombina)

They were very nice. They held him when you were still asleep and he couldn't be there for the operation.

For what seemed like forever, when it was only a matter of four days, the bed shifted as Nugget was reading the latest book that the guy with the funny hat gave him. He wanted to read it to you when you woke up and his wish was soon coming true as he felt movement and looked over to see your [E/c] eyes. He gasped and immediately snuggled into the sheets and wrapped his small arms around your waist.

"Auntie! You're awake! You're awake!"

Soft wet globs of tears started to stain your shirt as you looked down at the child who held you tightly and didn't want to let go. It would have been endearing if it wasn't for the fact that you had almost died from possible blood poisoning from ignoring your wounds. Your Nephew remembered seeing a lot of gold and despite still learning, he knew for a fact blood was red.

Carefully holding him up and ruffling his hair, you kissed his forehead and wiped his tears away.

"I'm sorry I made you worry, Nugget. I promise, I'll be sure to look after myself but my main concern was you."

That response earned a pout but your nephew thought it was good enough for now. If you weren't healthy and in one piece, how are you supposed to find a husband or a wife?!

"Just don't go to sleep anymore or at least for a long time. You made everyone worry!"

"Everyone?"

At the mention, your Nephew saw the clear confusion on your face and smiled brightly, but with a glint of mischievousness as he swiftly, with his small feet could go, hopped out of bed but careful to stay clear from your arms, rushed to the door and yelled out.

"Auntie [Y/n] is awake!" he said with a bright smile that was quite contagious, but it was last minute that you saw a figure by the door, or make it two figures. They had hoods over their head but it was the masks that covered their identities - the sheer happiness was clear from their body movements and one of them rushed out to who knows where while your nephew ran back to your side and started to share all the books he's read while you were recovering.

He's always had trouble reading so it was a feat itself to see him now reading at his supposed grade level. He still had trouble with certain words but nothing to worry about.

While trying to process all that was happening around you, you heard multiple footsteps before the door flew open, and in walked in about a dozen people.

Your face heated up at seeing all the gorgeous faces quickly surround you, pulling your nephew close to your side, weary of what else could happen. But you could have sworn that there was a hint of sadness in their eyes from your pull away from them.

"Don't be scared. They helped us! They helped you! Especially the Doctor man." Your nephew grinned as he held your hand and decided to make you sit up and face the group properly and pointed at the Doctor. The Doctor that he mentioned was practically preening from the praise like a peacock showing off its feathers.

The grip on his hand lessened as you looked at all twelve people one by one. It didn't take a rocket scientist to distinguish the power that they all radiated. Though at the time, you didn't know of the power you held yourself.

The elegant lady with long white hair, icy blue eyes, and who seemed to scream 'Ice Queen', slowly walked up to your bedside with a gentle smile as her hand moved to slowly hold yours. Now, you wouldn't have minded if it was your nephew or family, but this was a stranger. A stranger with a very firm grip despite how delicate it was.

"Now. How shall we punish the meaner that's done this to you?"

Eh?

-x-

It was... a change to have people cater to your every whim despite half of them being just jokes like bringing you the finest gem. The honor of bestowing such a gem was by none other than the 9th Harbinger, Pantalone.

Your nephew was having a great time, especially when he got to get along with a majority of the Harbingers and the Fatui, who took the mission of entertaining Nugget very seriously.

Once your arms were good as new, you asked for the group of Fatui soldiers that you and your nephew first encountered. At first, they were adamant about having you and Nugget leave the palace but you needed to get back to your car and get the rest of your things.

But funnily enough, you don't remember a palace or an organization going by the Fatui in your life...

Not to mention, these people seemed to recognize you and your nephew despite you two not knowing any of them.

If you thought of it more, a headache occurred and the Tsarista was adamant in asking you to save your energy and that it didn't matter if you recognized them. That all that mattered was that you and the Heir were fine.

While bedridden, your Nephew had the privilege to waltz around like he owned the place and even got you some books to read in the meantime. You saw mentions of a Divine Creator, a God-like figure that was first in creating the world around you and beyond, the one that made the stars and skies. A Divine Creator from the Beyond gave life to a speck in the skies and named it Teyvat and thus, its first child was born.

During a certain period when the Creator was roaming freely, they announced that their sister was with child and so, the Creator named the unborn babe the Heir to Teyvat.

The book was quite the read and wanting to know more about why the people around you and Nugget called you the Divine Creator and the Heir, you took it around with you.

"Your Grace, you must bundle up. Snezhnayan winters are quite brutal. People freeze to death here, quite literally in fact." announced a Fatui sniper, the one that first saw you and Nugget as he came behind you and placed a coat, courtesy of Pantalone of course, on your shoulders and your nephew too.

Stepping out to the brutal snow, instead of the harsh snow that you were expecting, it was a light snowfall that shocked the group of Fatui that decided to travel with you.

[Nephew's Name] stepped out from behind you and cheered happily as he rushed out to the snow and started to play, making snowmen and snow angels with, of course, the Fatui looking out and being won over by the child's heart-felt giggles.

They were all trying to make sense of why the snowfall was reduced to just light snow instead of the blizzards they're used to until they recalled that their Divine Grace and the Heir were right here with them. Teyvat was the Divine Creator's first child and as the loyal child it was, it could always sense where they were. Though Snezhnaya was the domain of the Tsarista, the Cryo Archon, the Divine Creator's word was Law.

Ehe.

Everything came to a slow stop as the world first heard the giggle from the Creator and with each step that you had taken, noticeable patches of green started to appear and grow more and more. The chilled winds of winter called down as the grey skies parted to make way for the rays of the sun.

The Tsarista felt the pause of winter, looking out that the frozen lands of her region have warmed up to what it had been long ago before her ascension.

Her Grace has given warmth back to the frozen tundras of Snezhnaya to the point that the flora and fauna basked in the sunlight. "Nugget. Be careful. The snow is melting."

And like that, the snow stopped melting just enough for your nephew to enjoy making snow angels.

'Welcome to Teyvat, Divine Creator!'

TAGLIST:

@lizzhearthz, @yoshikuno , @anonclyde , @khalhaimdad, @ellenoir

@yunsblog030 , @lsleepysimpl, @potol0ver, @kitty-chan33

[nalyra-dreaming]

I've seen the episode!!!

(Some comments and) SPOILERS!!!!

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Louis saying it was a betrayal and that he wants to be punished for it just when he finds happiness again via a hallucination of Lestat is so... ugh. Louis, honey, god. Also him imagining Lestat biting him - as a punishment, but he also wants it so badly, baring his neck, not trying to fight it, offering himself up there, he just wants the connection so badly. 😭 And god, Louis having Lestat call him out on his own denial. Damn. And Louis knowing he invited this Lestat as a distraction.

Also... that was definitely foreshadowing to how Louis will think the trial went.

And of course it would be a bat. Of course.™

Claudia driving them onwards, not giving one shit is just... incredible. Delainey is Claudia.

I was also right that she honed her senses and available gifts, more than Louis has his (which fits)

Daniel calling their plight the hunt for Moby Dick

Claudia is also... beautifully hopeful, and thereby almost desperately (intentionally) naive. She just wants to connect, so badly. To find more of their kind. And closes her eyes to what she sees. *deep sigh*

That "Adam and Even and God" comment was hilarious. Oh man, I cannot wait to see what the show will make of / with QotD and Memnoch etc.

Not only is Louis aware of forgotten memories now, he actively pursues them, and he has apparently read the missing pages before. And knows he has forgotten.

Claudia's diaries are unreliable, too (as predicted). Also, Louis correcting his own tale there, lol. Also: Armand‘s look and suggestion there.

Daniel and his little speech as to how he works… you go Daniel. “Here’s almost all the story“ lol

“Human affairs“

The revenants.... "the blood is bad here" *shivers* - I BET that's already setting up the "turning fails" arc with Amel, right there

God that old vampire connecting with Claudia, and then throwing herself into the fire in despair. God.

Morgan's arc was nicely condensed, the scene fittingly horrific

I live for Claudia speaking all the languages, but I noticed some of the subtitles were wrong

Whoever doubted DM happening... well. Sorry, but I AM seeing it. The looks, the smirks, the bitching.

Also "real Rashid" (lmao) - who, btw, does not wear a mask! What if the encounter with Eudoxia Marius had went differently and this is Rashid?

... someone wanting to buy a tryptich they haven't even put up for sale... *coughs* Marius? *coughs* (I mean, who else would know they have it? Or the Talamasca, maybe)

God that Dubai bedroom screams cage. And Armand controlling even the lights with his little iPad. Someone edit a blender into a screenshot of that scene.

The look Lestat gives Claudia at that last part of Louis' little speech. Devastating.

Also: the "I do I do I do I do I do"... Louis. Sweetie. I mean, I get it, but still.

Armand's comment that the boy from San Francisco is still in Daniel. Now if that is not foreshadowing.

A propos foreshadowing: Louis saying he will not choose the fire while Claudia walks the earth. *help*

"We cannot be the only good ones". Yeah... about that. -.-

Louis being so relieved that what Claudia wrote was not the truth

The. Score.

Louis pacifying Armand there with the little touches at the end. LOL (the whole setup makes me wonder if ARMAND has also forgotten some things btw). Also that little thank you kiss

The Groan. Once more seemingly when Armand is displeased, so it could be a metaphysical manifestation after all, especially since Louis seems to comment on it. (It could also be a red herring, we'll see.)

Daniel‘s “we‘ll get to you“ to Armand (lol)

Louis‘ guilty look to Lestat when he tries to pep talk Claudia 😭

EDIT: there were two very short flahback scenes with a comment to memory, which is setting up the big one later, no doubt about it, ugh

I legit teared up so often.

I have missed them all so much.

It's all I wanted, and more. Cannot wait to scream about it with everyone.

Also, last but not least: can I just say how glad I am our writers are playwrights.

[beatrixstonehill2]

"I'm so glad we're finally meeting in person...." Rachel told her online boyfriend, Jason.

"You look even more perfect than I hoped. Sounds like your voice is dropping nicely, darling."

Rachel smiled. "Three months on testosterone will do a fakegirl good." She stuck out her estrogen-fattened moobs. "I'm horny 24/7. I used to never even get erections. I was such a good girl...."

"But deep down you're just a dirty sissy playing dress up. She me what you've done to yourself for me, angel."

With a deep breath, blushing, Rachel untucked her erect cock, pulling it out of her lacy panties. She let it stick straight out, eight inches, as Jason smiled. "Is it..... to your liking?"

He reached out, jerking it as Rachel trembled. Her cock was never more than a nub. She showed it online if men asked really nicely in her DMs or questioned if she was actually trans. Most people didn't believe her. Perfectly feminine voice, gorgeous face, full natural breasts, wide hips. People thought she was claiming to be trans for views, especially since you couldn't see any bulge in her bikini pics. She told her skeptics she went on puberty blockers by ten, and hormones at twelve. Not a drop of testosterone ever coursed through her system, that was, until Jason messaged her.

He told her he believed she was a fakegirl, a boy pretending to be a girl, and he wanted to help. Curious, Rachel played along with his transphobic little tangent. He kept misgendering her, telling her how beautiful she'd be as a detrans femboy. Still wearing girl clothes, makeup, looking like a girl but finally with a guy's voice, her real voice, as he put it. To get her silly fakegirl tits removed. Grow a cute five o'clock shadow that tells everyone who she really is. Instead of blocking him, she allowed herself to be led by his fantasies of detransitioning her. She slowly became corrupted by his messages, taking them to heart more by the day.

Soon in public when people called her a girl she started correcting them, saying she was born a boy and wearing girl stuff was like a kink for her. She used the men's room, and relished all the attention she got in there, even offering her mouth as a urinal. She started trying to get her cock going, rubbing it, pleasuring herself, but she couldn't get it erect. She complained to Jason and he told her she knew what the solution was. Scared by thinking more with her cock than anything, she publicly announced she was detransitioning on social media and started testosterone, and a healthy dose of dick-growth supplements.

Now she understood what Jason wanted from her. She was horny 24/7. Her cock was impossible to hide. She was starting to get correctly gendered as a boy because of her bulge and cracking, male puberty voice. By the third month she figured her cock was big enough to impress Jason, and invited him over.

"It's beautiful, sweetheart," Jason said, jerking Rachel off. "How many times a day do you get off now?"

"Ten..... at least. I masturbate in public. On the train in my pretty clothes. I masturbate in the men's room. Sometimes I do it in the women's room just to get thrown out. I can't control my erections at all. I'm hard constantly. But I only want my cock bigger and even more out of control."

"You're just like every other pretty fakegirl I've done this to, you know?"

"What? I'm not the only one....."

"Of course not, princess. But don't worry, you'll love all my the other pretty detrans boys I have back at my estate. Once we get those embarrassing boy-tits of yours taken care of."

"Oh! Oh..... fuck! Thank you!" Rachel came as Jason aimed her cock up at her breasts and face. She made a mess all over herself and had no instinct to clean it. She panted in place, eager to please her boyfriend even more.

"You're welcome. Now, I think it's time I set you up with my friend Alex, who's a surgeon. He can have that chest of yours nice and flat in no time. Once you're ready, I'll introduce you to the others."

"Then what?"

"You'll be another of my slutty femboy whores, who I pimp out to rich politicians and businessmen who just love boys like you when they're away from their boring wives on business..... What do you say?"

"Sounds perfect...... I can't wait to fully detrans and whore my new body for you."

"Good boy."

[eternalsa2z]

DM In Your DMs

You were introduced by your friend Nally. After plenty of teasing and toying and asking if you were sure you were ready to meet this model. Not just excited. Like busting out of your seat and bra ready.

You insisted that you were and the Instagram reveal didn't disappoint. She goes by the name 'Doll Mistress' and she is H - O - T HOT HOT HOT. She looked like a queen in her full glory, her gaze admiring her many worshipers as she gives them a brief glance at her perfection.

She def had a bit of a 'rich bitch' or 'ice queen' vibe, which normally doesn't match your sweet girly vibes. Even if her look still made you melt into a puddle. But that doesn't mean she can't rock a bit of a girl next door look. You know, if that girl was an heiress at the next mansion over in the gated community.

Still you couldn't help but be obsessed by this look. Her pony was clearly a fake extension and her faux fur boots were a bit much. But then again that fit her vibes, doesn't it? As if she was saying:

"I'm pretty. I'm plastic. I don't care who knows. Worship me"

Gawd what you wouldn't give to worship in front of Doll Mistress. You'd die if she slipped into your DMs. Or at least you died and went to heaven. Because one day, late in your timezone and early in hers, she sent you a message.

"Hello Kiki. I heard you were a pretty cute bimbo doll who's been having some stupid bullies say mean things. Why don't you let Doll Mistress take care of them...then we can go on a date"

You of course, through your bimbo babbling in sheer fangirling, manage to explain that while you love the support, you are a committed bimbo. Her next DM makes it clear that she's simply chuckling at your cuteness.

"Oh I know. I'm not looking for a relationship. Just a doll to play with"

True to her word, the homophobes and patriarchy pushers slowly disappear from your site. You also notice a corresponding uptick in extra girly, submissive bimbos talking up how pretty you are. It's great because you need the pep talk ahead of your first date...er, totally platonic meeting.

You spend forever picking out your outfit. You need to look perfect. Make a good impression for Mistress. You end up looking cute - but she shows up looking stunning, showing up to your date dressed in feminine finery. Making baby boy blue look as good as girly pink.

She has a beautiful floral adornment right around her throat. Perhaps it's a metaphor for her tight grasp on femininity. Or perhaps a future indication of how soon her ice queen grip will extend to a beautiful bimbo flower like yourself. You squeeze your legs together during the whole meal, imagining the second scenario.

She has you in her clutches from that day on. You're obsessed with her beautiful face and hair. Envious of her fashionable clothes. Above all else, in awe of her attitude and how she rocks her look to the fullest.

The next time you meet in person, your Doll Mistress casually drags a fur coat behind her, like the expensive treasured item is nothing to her.

God what you wouldn't give to be that coat…dragged around behind her…following in her footsteps. She's so incredible. You can't even say anything intelligent, just "OMG!" over and over again as she arrives. Her plush lips curl into a smile, a rare sighting worth more than her entire wardrobe.

"I'm glad you like my look, Kiki. You could be seeing a lot more of it. Come with me. Be my doll."

It's three months later. You and your wife have moved in with Doll Mistress. She spoils and pampers your wife, slowly turning her into a little plastic trophy, a mini-version of herself. You, on the other hand, are her pretty little doll. The one she brings everywhere, even stowing you away in a custom dollbox in her luggage when she travels on vacation. It's worth it to spend time with her and relax at the Bimbo Resort.

"Kiki? Mistress is out of her glass of BMBO. Won't you be a doll and scurry over to the cabana to get me a refill?"

"Yes Mistress! Of course Mistress! Anything you want!" you squeal excitedly, eager to be helpful.

"Good girl. If you return fast enough, I'll let you lotion up my back again" she purrs.

Quickly you bound away as fast as your high heels, wiggling butt, and jiggling bimbo titties will let you. Mistress has been so generous in turning you into her little bimbo pet. Serving her drinks is the least you can do for her!

Plus…the enticing thought of being allowed to touch her perfect plastic body…that's all the payment a doll like you needs. Just a bimbo doll serving her Doll Mistress.

[tutur-ddbr]

For your dirty feral mind.

One of my greatest talents, at least for what I have been told, is...

Sex Analyse

And I'm going to do the sex analysis/headcanon of Logan and Wade. For all minors around here: DON'T INTERACT AND LEAVE THE FUCK OUT OF MY YARD.

Our favorite old man: James "Logan" Howlett

I don't strangely see Logan having a huge interest in sex (at least this version in the movie) maybe it's my Ace ass that is talking but let go threw it, shall we.

Logan isn't into sex, not anymore, after what happened to the X-MEN the only thing he wants to put his mind into, is alcohol. For him, he don't deserve any kind of love, he don't deserve to be touched, to be praised, or to be satisfied in any given way. He don't want a parody of intimacy with a prostitute, or just a one-night stand. He don't deserve it.

In this man's mind, nothing will make him happy, nothing will bring light in this world anymore, nothing will raise his spirit why would he fall for that shit? Why would he get laid?

But after he saved the world? Think better about himself? and get back on his feet?

Logan would be shy, not shy like a virgin, shy like a hurt man. He would not give anyone his trust that easily to the first human being coming to him. No, he needs a special someone, he needs this one personnel. This one personnel who will say his name like a little prayer and make it feel like home.

If he finds out this special someone, he wouldn't be rough, wouldn't be mean, oh no. Logan will be lost, confused about how he ended up here, why the person chose them, and why they even wanted to let him a chance in the first place. But this intimacy, Logan need it. At first, it would be weird for him, he don't know what to do, how to put himself, top, bottom? He's so confused. He would need a hand to get it together, he would need time and patience to get out the beast in him.

But what would he do exactly? Logan would lay on his back, too scared to hurt the person in front of him. He would start with soft kisses, they are bad and he knows it, he is a bad kisser (the man hadn't kissed someone for ages.). Logan will not know where to put his hand, on the waist maybe, around the shoulder? Maybe on the chest. He wants to obey and he will! all the orders someone will give him, so he knows he wouldn't fuck up. Top or bottom he would try his best to stop being as selfish as his past self, he wants his partner to get all the pleasure they want. He isn't a loud one for this first time, he is too concentrated on not fucking up that he mostly hold his breath during each movement. He would beg for his partner to say his name, to say how good he is doing, to say how they love him. He needs to know, that he isn't broken. After the orgasm, he would hold onto his lover for a couple of minutes, smelling them, caressing their body, being sure they are there and real. Looking at him, making eye contact would make this man melt, forehead again forehead, whispering his name, saying how they love them, how good they are. Logan would need love and comfort, someone to hold him and tell him he is worth it. Someone to say his name, and make him stay when the night fades away.

(Would he be like that with Wade? Maybe if Deadpool don't tease him too much and takes a break from his persona to let the other man heal, yes)

We are doing a part 2 for Deadpool cause my brain used all his energy for Logan. (Why I ear boss music ?)

If you want to talk about Logan, PLEAS PLEAS PLEAS PLEAS slide into my DM or my request/ask thing I NEED TO TALK ABOUT THIS.

Also eh, I have a KO-FI liked in my BIO if you want to check out. Later people.

[deltaromeo3]

𝙰𝚗𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚛𝚎..? #2 ⋆ Charles Leclerc

pairing: charles leclerc x reader

summary: in which the reader does not recognise the famous Monegasque Formula 1 driver; the very same one that was about to change her perspective on the sport and also her life.

— you can read part 1 & 3 here! : #1 #3

A/N: thank you for all the love on part 1! here’s a part 2!! tbh I got carried away… let me know if i should do a part 3? 🤭

— Warning(s): poorly translated french.

"Will there be a next time?"

You were sitting on the balcony, enjoying the Monaco sun with a book in hand and a cup of ice cold sparkling water on the table.

“Ding!” Your phone rings but you ignored it.

“Ding! Ding! Ding!” Your phone goes off like crazy.

You huffed and place your book down, wondering who the hell would be spamming you at this time of day. It was literally 9 in the morning.

charles_leclerc started following you.

charles_leclerc liked your story.

charles_leclerc liked your post.

charles_leclerc liked your post.

Your eyes widened. You blinked a few times to make sure this was real. Why.. and how the hell did he find your Instagram account?

“Em!” You called out. No response.

“Emma! EMMA!”

“WHAT!” She finally responds and you see her head peek through her room door.

You walked over to her and said nothing, instead just showing her the notification. Her mouth went agape and you could see her jaw almost physically touch the floor.

“Wh-what are you waiting for? Follow him back!”

“What?! Why? I don’t even like F1!”

“Doesn’t matter! He’s hot. J-just do it!”

“Okay okay!”

You decided to follow him back and quickly exit the app, locking your phone.

Your phone dings once again.

charles_leclerc sent you a message.

Shit shit shit!

You gasped.

“Emma. He. Sent. Me. A. DM!”

Emma gasps in response. She quickly rushes over to your side. She couldn’t believe her eyes.

“Oh. My. God.”

Silence falls between the two of you as you both stood frozen in the living room trying to process the fact that the Charles Marc Hervé Perceval Leclerc just sent you a DM.

“Well reply him then! Good god.”

“Last time I was this nervous was when I kissed Andre.”

Emma whips her head towards you, “Wh- you kissed Andre?! When?! How come I don’t know about that?” She shakes her head, “Eh! That’s not the point. Ch-Charles! Reply him!”

You quickly type out a response.

You bite your fingernails out of nervousness waiting for his reply.

“Ding!” Goes your phone.

He sure is a fast replier.

You continued texting him. Long story short, he’s asking you out for brunch. You told Emma about your plans and she jumps with joy, clapping her hands in excitement.

“Ooh someone’s going on a date with Lord Percevallll,” She teases.

“It’s not a date Emma!”

“Mmhmm. Sure.” She smirks at you as she walks away.

You rolled your eyes in response.

You looked at the time, luckily you still had a few hours to prepare before meeting him. And like you always do, you went to the balcony to continue reading your book.

You tried your best to read, but you just couldn’t. You were nervous to say the least, about meeting a very famous Formula 1 driver. God, everyone here adores him. He is everyone’s favourite. Even the goddamn Prince loves him…

You decided to take and a nap, hoping it would help you to relax and not think about it too much. So, you did just that.

Your sleep got disturbed to the sound of Emma calling and shaking you vigorously.

“Wake up! Y/N! WAKE UP!”

“What!”

“Did you forget about brunch? Hurry up and get your ass ready!” She says as she tosses you your towel. You looked at your phone. 1:10pm.

“Merde! I’m late!” You quickly got off your bed and headed straight for the shower.

You got dressed in a simple tank top with high waisted jeans, sprayed on some perfume and accessorised with a necklace and a few rings. You put on your shoes and quickly left the house.

“Have fun! And don’t forget to use protection!” Emma shouts as she closes the door behind her.

You quietly laughed to yourself. It’s just brunch, nothing else.

As soon as you exit your building, you were greeted by a familiar figure. He was standing next to his car, leaning on it. The both of you exchanged smiles as soon as you made eye contact with one another.

Charles was wearing a black tee with light wash jeans.

“So sorry I’m late! I took a nap and ended up oversleeping I-“

He cuts you off. “Mon amour, it’s okay. You’re here now. More than happy to see you.”

Does he call every girl he meets mon amour?

You blush at the nickname. Why were you blushing? God help me please.

You sighed in relief, “Thank you for waiting.”

He smiles softly, “Brunch?”

“Brunch.” You smiled back at him.

He brought you to L’Intempo, which was situated in a hotel by the sea. Of course, he requested for the outdoor seating.

Whilst waiting for your food to be ready, you chit chatted with him. He told you all about his life, how he got into F1 and his career.

“I’ve talked so much about myself. Now you!”

“I just recently moved to Monaco. It’s always been the country of my dreams so I decided to study here! I’m studying Neurosciences in Paris, so it’s nearby!”

“Neuroscience? Like… you study brains?”

You chuckled, “Kinda.. but not really. Ah well, you get the idea. Brains.”

He laughs, “Brains.” The both of you laugh. “Why didn’t you just stay in Paris? Everyone wants to go to Paris.”

“Monaco is smaller. And everyone here is crazy rich so who knows, I might end up marrying a rich man. Won’t have to work so hard, y’know.” You joked.

He laughs again, “Really? Who told you that? Google?”

You nodded and he laughs again, “Yeah, who knows. You may be right.” He smiles.

Your food finally came. You took a pic before eating.

@yourusername posted on their story.

Charles offered you to taste some of his food and even fed you some, and you did the same.

The air was filled with your chatter and laughter and soon enough everything was just background noise.

It felt like you’ve been friends with Charles for so long; conversations flowed easily and there was no awkwardness between the two of you.

After brunch however, he decided to drive you around Monaco since you’ve never properly seen the city. He even drove on the F1 track; the chicanes and road markings were still fairly visible.

You sat quietly in the car, admiring the views of the city. It was one thing to explore Monaco with Emma, but with Charles? It was different; he grew up here so he knew spots tourists didn’t know.

Last but not least, he brought you to the Prince of Monaco’s automobile collection. You wondered why he was so eager to show you a collection that wasn’t his but as soon as you entered the building you understood why. There were many cars, but one car stood out in particular.

You shot him a look. “Ah so this is why you were so excited to bring me here?”

He smiles, “Yes! Look, it’s my car.” He gleams with excitement. “I had my first victory and pole position with this!” He explains. Although you had zero interest in Formula 1, hearing his excitement when he was explaining to you about his car was heartwarming. And so, you listened despite not knowing anything about F1.

You smiled as he was explaining, it was cute. You’ve never seen someone so proud of their achievements.

“That’s so cool! So you gave it to the Prince?”

He nods. “I know it’s in good hands so I’m okay with that.”

It was around 630ish when the “date” (can you call it that?) was over. He drops you off in front of your apartment building. When you wanted to exit the car, you realised Charles was rushing over to your side to open the door for you.

“When you’re with me you don’t open doors! I’ll do it.”He says and you laugh at his antics.

He even walked you to your door.

“I’m kinda sad this is over.” He says.

“Well… me too. I had fun.” You smiled.

He smiles back, “Moi aussi. me too. He pauses. “Y aura-t-il une prochaine fois? Will there be a next time?” He asks.

“Why? Voulez vous qu’il y ait une prochaine fois? Do you want there to be a next time? ”

“Oui. Yes." He shyly admits.

“D’accord. Okay. I’ll see you next time then, Lord Perceval.” You teased him with the nickname. “Text me when you’re homed?”

He chuckles. “D’accord.” He walks off and you take out your keys to unlock the front door, but suddenly you were stopped halfway.

“Here,” He passes you his phone, it was opened to his number pad. “I almost forgot.”

You laughed and keyed in your number. “Ok, I’ll go now.” He waves goodbye and leaves.

You entered your apartment to be greeted by Emma cooking dinner.

“Wow finally. Thought you’d never come home! So, how’s the date?”

“It’s not a date!” You exclaimed.

Emma laughs at your reaction, “Okay, how’s brunch that went on for 5 hours?” She corrects herself.

“Good, we-“ You were interrupted by your phone ringing. It was an unknown number. You answered it, only to be greeted by a familiar voice.

“Hello, it’s Charles. I’m on my way home.”

You chuckled, “Hello, Charles. Are you driving and calling me at the same time?”

“Ye- No! I’m… not.” He lies. “Okay, I am. I just wanted to hear your voice, that’s all.”

You blushed, “Charles… it’s dangerous! Just call me when you’re home okay?”

You hear him giggle, “Okay mon amour. I’ll call you in 10.”

“I’ll be waiting for you,” The line ends.

“I’ll be waiting for youuu,” Emma mocks you, and you cringed, covering your face, asking her to stop. She just replies with laughter. “Glad you had fun with Mr F1 driver. Your wag era is coming soon I can smell it!” She jokes.

“Oh god,” You laughed, walking away to the bathroom to take a shower.

[thatswhatsushesaid]

this person has me blocked, which is something i used to genuinely lament because occasionally i'd see bits of their very thoughtful commentary floating across my dash, and i'd find myself sighing sadly over what other gems of wisdom i was missing out on by not having access to their blog. i'd even lament about it via dms to some of my pals who did still have access to this person's blog. what interesting discussions must have been happening beyond that "???" "this is no one" "uh, who??" opaque door that tumblr always presented to me whenever i clicked on this person's username? would i ever know?

a friend this morning: want to see a bad take to get mad at

me: obviously yes

anyway as it turns out, it looks like i'm missing out on exactly nothing, actually, so that's a huge relief

more seriously, recalling the insightful commentary that i have seen this person reblog in the past when it has come across my dash, i am frankly in awe of this one, because it is so profoundly disconnected from reality and how people experience stories. like i'm not even sure where to start with peeling back all of the wrongness layers at work here because i haven't taken my adhd meds yet this morning, but the primordial stupidity at this take's core (coming from someone who is clearly smart, ftr, i am targeting the stupidity of the concept, not the person) has made me genuinely angry. it's not even just about applying this framework to mdzs, though of course it is principally about that because this book DOES actually place class front and centre at multiple points in the narrative. it's the idea that we just shouldn't be having conversations about classism, or sexism, or [x]-ism, in the romance genre, because don't we realize the point is the romance, actually?? these other things clearly don't matter and aren't worth talking about??? and this mindset is so utterly foreign to me because at no point have i ever felt compelled to stop myself from thinking thoughts about a book because "oh, but this is genre fiction, i need to turn my brain off to read and enjoy this, i forgot." or "this thought is not appropriate because genre fiction, i'd better stop thinking it before i ruin the story."

like. i am deeply, deeply sorry for this person, actually, that they are not picking up on precisely what mxtx is putting down in the text, especially considering mxtx has explicitly explored themes of class in at least two of her novels (i'll get back to you on including svsss once i've read it). but also, a critique of class in the jianghu, or how mxtx has written her female characters, is entirely as valid use of fandom time and energy as writing one more definitely original and not remotely repetitive thinkpiece on the power of wangx!an's morally good love to overcome all obstacles (not saying OP wrote any of these, just that there ARE a bunch of them out there).

like. why do you want to simplify the experience of reading and thinking and talking about these books? why do you want to push for more boring analysis of stories? why are you using your platform to encourage this? i'm so mad about it actually. people listen to you, and this is what you're encouraging them to do: think less.

[firstkanaphans]

Hello Sarah sorry to bother you. I'm a new fan kinda but I'm done with watching all the firstkhao dramas (together and individual) but tbh I'm kinda lost on how I will get to know them better. I have no idea about their irl personalities that much. Maybe you can give a little introduction for me if it's not too much of a bother? Also like how they met and why are they doing so many projects together? And are they good friends irl too (my friend told me a lot of time pair actors don't really get along with each other which is why I got curious about their dynamic) Sorry if these questions are a bit dumb I'm altogether very new in bl fandoms so don't have a lot of ideas.

Oh, Anon. I don’t think you know what you’ve signed up for here. If you want a FK primer, I can give you a FK primer!

Both First and Khaotung started working for GMMTV back in 2018. I’m pretty sure talent agents simply slid into their DMs, so there was no formal audition process, but I could be wrong about that. They were both in university at the time. I’m not quite sure what they were doing that attracted the attention of the talent agents. I know First had been in at least one commercial prior, but I don’t believe Khaotung had done any acting. He had, however, had a picture go viral because he’s just so stinkin’ adorable. I think maybe this one? 

Or it could have been one of these…

Either way, they ended up in an acting workshop together right after they joined. Khaotung talks about how he didn’t like First at first because he was too friendly and talkative, but I think that must have only lasted for like a day because it was during this same workshop where he discovered that his heart beats to the sound of First’s name—“FirFirFir”—and yes, that is a real thing that he has admitted out loud on multiple occasions. They have been best friends ever since.

From there, the two of them began to act in individual projects—mostly BLs—and although I have no proof of this, I am entirely convinced that they were playing a long con to get themselves partnered together. They did way more fanservice before they were partnered than they do now. Feel free to watch this live from 2020 where they alternate between staring lovingly in each other's eyes and just outright flirting for an hour straight.

Look, they’re smart boys. They knew that their best path to success in this industry was to be in a fixed pair and they wanted that pair to be each other. How do I know? Because these two adorable idiots were showing up to events in matching outfits.

This picture was taken in January 2021 when Tonhon Chonlatee was actively airing! There's a picture from this same event of them with Podd, who Khao was paired with, and Podd looks like the odd man out.

They were finally paired together for The Eclipse in 2022 and spent the entire press tour either talking about how excited they were to finally work together or crying about the possibility that they might never be able to work together again. I would highly recommend you watch The Eclipse special episode if you haven’t already. In it, First talks about how there was one scene where Khao wasn’t supposed to cry but he kept crying anyway because First was crying and he cared about First so much. 

And speaking of crying, if you want to watch a compilation of FK crying about how much they love each other (and other things!), you can find that here.

One thing I would recommend if you want to get to know FK better is to watch a bit of Safehouse Season 4. It’s unscripted, so you’ll get a sense of their personalities, but First was also in an arm cast at the time, so you’ll get to watch Khao dote on him for seven days straight.

Oh and you have to watch this! If you ever see people talking about the voices in First’s head, that's why.

Obviously, we can never truly know what goes on behind closed doors for any of these BL couples, but I feel pretty confident in saying that FirstKhao are genuine besties. They literally do everything together. You can find a collection of some of their lovestagram pics here although there are so many more now. It never stops.

Actual things they have said to each other un-prompted:

First to Khao: I want to build a house with the same fences as you.

Khao to First: As you grow up, you will meet many new friends. Leave them and stay with me.

I’m wracking my brain for anything else that feels important for a new fan to know and am coming up blank, but I’m sure I’ll probably think of something right after I post this. They’re both just super sweet individuals who have never been involved in any controversy and I think what people love most about them is just how much they care about each other. They’ve got that whole platonic soulmate thing going on and we're all super jealous.

[whatwouldsylwrite]

At least I got you in my head (6)

(5)

Summary: Abby is straight. And then you move in with her.

Tags: modern au, fem!reader, straight!abby (she is doing some comphet bullshit), pining, idiot in love and it's abby, reader is gay and tired.

Notes: Abby is stupid, but she finally says goodbye to Aslan and leaves Narnia! Let's say a big thank you to Ellie for being the bestest friend ever. You're just chilling with Vi, this chapter is mostly Abby-centric because oh boy she overthinks. Four-eyed girl/blonde bitch is Kara Danvers.

Taglist: @abbyily @lillysbigwilly @gravygranules @blairfox04 @frogtits1 @ccinnamongrl @ninazenuk @urmomsgirlfriend1 @sunkissedbibi @couchgarbage @nil-eena @inlovewithelliewilliams @st4rluvrr @mai5mai @machetegirl109 @azelmawrites @zootedhoe @rhae-blackqueen @vea-vea-vea @mnim58e @chubeline @strgrlxox @chrry1ovr (if you want me to tag/untag you for the whole series dm me please)

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Abby had a problem.

It’s been two weeks since you brought that blonde four-eyed girl home, and Abby had a problem.

Because you brought another girl again a week ago, and it didn’t make Abby feel any better.

In fact, she only got angrier and felt even more disgust than before. And it was bothering her, because you yourself weren't disgusting at all, the best roommate and a good friend, and she loved spending time with you as always, but there was one thing that made her uneasy.

The gay thing. The thing where you had sex with girls. Abby was absolutely fine with you at any other moment, but when she saw that blonde bitch kissing you goodbye she almost puked.

So Abby came to the most logical conclusion: she was homophobic. This revelation made her heart stop as she became more afraid of herself - she'd never say she was a homophobe, her best friend was a lesbian, it just didn't make sense! But Abby never heard Ellie have sex and never saw her hookups after, so she just didn't have a trigger to figure out how much gay was too much for her. She could listen to Ellie talking about her new girl no problem, but that was probably it. And they never lived together, so Abby couldn't say if she'd be okay if Ellie would bring girls over, so.

Abby was deeply ashamed of herself, but she had to admit it.

She wasn't okay with the fact that you were a lesbian.

To make things worse, Abby remembered how you told her you were a lesbian to make sure she was okay living with you, and she said yes, and how sad it made her that you had to clarify it right away because you probably had your fair share of homophobia in your life, and now Abby was not okay with it.

Fuck, she was like those shitty parents who said that they accepted their children as they were, but then pulled "keep it to yourself" on them. That was literally how Abby felt, because she wished you could go back to "normal" where she didn't know anything about your sex life.

When you didn't have a sex life.

"Did you finish your paper?" You asked on Tuesday morning as you brewed coffee for her, sleepy and tired, your hair a mess.

How could she live with herself now?

"Yeah." Abby said shortly, not looking at you, too ashamed.

"That's amazing." You yawned and put the plate with breakfast in front of her. "You'll have to wait for coffee, sorry."

Abby wanted to cry. You were so nice to her and she was a horrible fucking person who hated the fact that you were gay.

"It's okay."

"Are you feeling okay? You seem a little bit down." You looked sympathetic and worried, and it really hurt.

Abby chuckled, trying to act normal, but when she lifted her eyes the first thing she saw was a hickey on your collarbone and her stomach twisted in disgust.

"Just tired. Can't wait for the break." So she could go home and not see you. (So she could go home and miss you crazy)

"Are you going back home?"

"Yeah, all the way to Seattle. You?"

"I'll probably stay here. Or if Cait would have to go home, I'll go with her to keep her sane."

"Does her family celebrate Thanksgiving?"

"Not really, but social events are social events and if they need to show her off, they will."

"Tough."

"Are you sure you're okay? You can talk to me." You asked again, still worried and clearly not buying Abby's excuses.

Abby shook her head and smiled, knowing you'd read right through her.

"Nah, I'm fine. Don't worry your pretty head."

Besides, what would she tell you? That she despised your sexuality? That she wished you were straight? That she needed you to stop having sex and promise her you'd never get a girlfriend because it didn't align with her traditional beliefs? Yeah, what a great conversation it would be.

The lessons with Vi were very productive: you were sure she'd get an A on her test with how much progress she made in these few weeks. She tended to forget some things, but she was able to logic her way out of questions that she didn't remember the right answer to, and you felt confident in her abilities.

The sex was amazing too. Vi was really chill about a lot of things, very flexible and actually enjoyed it when you topped, which didn't happen often with girls you usually hooked up with. She was very sweet and so down to earth you started trusting her without even noticing it. You started having deep conversations after sex, sharing your secrets and problems, and you adored Vi.

"In a friendly way." You specified when you told her how much you appreciated her.

"I remember, don't worry." Vi laughed and stroked her bare thigh. "I'm not emotionally available either."

"Really? Spill." You got excited, happy to not be alone in the losers' boat.

"Only if you do too."

"Oh, no problem." You laughed. "I'm the worst gay stereotype. She is straight and I'm hopeless."

Vi's hand stopped on your thigh and she looked at you like you were insane.

"Are you stupid?"

"I am." You laughed and nuzzled on her shoulder. "My best friend thinks she is in the closet, but it doesn't really help, you know?"

"Yeah." Vi sighed and looked at the ceiling, contemplating your words, as her other arm pulled you closer. "I'm genuinely sorry, (y/n)."

"Yeah, me too." You took a pause, looking at the ceiling as well, still a little high after your last orgasm, but sadness was creeping out on you when you thought about Abby. "What about you?"

"I-uh. We share a class together, but I've never talked to her. She is very smart, like. Genius level."

"And I'm stupid?" You said, playfully offended. "Be brave, talk to her. Which class do you share?"

"The class I'm failing and you're tutoring me in. Not the great first impression. Plus, you know, what if I'm in love with a fantasy in my head? I don't know her."

"Go and talk to her, I swear to god. I can do it for you, if you want." You shrugged, not seeing any barriers in this situation. You were 100% hopeless, but Vi could still get her girl.

"It's pointless. She'd never give a chance to someone like me, we're from different worlds. Oil and water." Vi said, sad and given up, and you felt angry on her behalf: what was so special about this girl that Vi didn't even want to try?

"What do you mean?"

"She is rich. And I'm an orphan who can barely pay rent and have a baby sister to support."

"If it's a problem for her, she is an asshole and doesn't deserve you anyway." You huffed. "But yeah, I know what you're saying. Privilege is something you can't really ignore."

Vi hummed and you kissed her shoulder just to show you were there for her. You knew what Vi was talking about firsthand: Caitlyn really had to learn a lot when you became friends, since you had to financially support yourself the whole time and couldn't afford hanging out in places Cait used to hang out. She was confused when her expensive gifts offended you and she looked so terrified when you brought her to eat street food and there were no textile napkins. It was hilarious but it was also a harsh reminder of what privilege looked like.

Now she was way down to earth and ate pizza with her hands while sitting on the ground, changed her whole friend circle and yeah, she was still wearing a lot of expensive things, but she knew her privilege and never looked down at anyone, almost embarrassed she had it better. Which was a good look on her, honestly - she wasn't responsible for her family's wealth, but she was still responsible for herself and you felt comforted knowing she held herself accountable. Caitlyn was good, and you hoped Vi's girl would be even better to her.

Or you'd have to hunt her down and kill her, because Vi was precious.

On Thursday you had your usual cuddle time and Abby never felt more guilty in her life as she once again held you in her arms and enjoyed it. She couldn't keep her hands off you no matter how hard she tried, and she didn't want to distance herself from you and make you feel guilty - she knew you would since you always confirmed if Abby was okay with being touched. It didn't seem fair to still cuddle you and bask in your warmth and softness when she had this nasty feeling inside her. If before that she felt like she was using you because she was touch-starved, now not only she was using you because she was touch-starved, she actually had the audacity to be disgusted when she thought where your hands might have been.

Where your mouth might have been.

Abby noticed she was looking at your mouth a lot, and she was mad at herself because instead of trying to block those awful thoughts and avoid possible triggers she only instigated them by looking at your mouth for no reason at all.

Abby was slowly going insane and she really needed to discuss it with someone who wouldn’t judge her, because it wasn’t her proudest moment. She felt like the worst person in the world for being the way she was, but she just couldn’t get over herself. So instead of going home on Friday night Abby went over to Ellie’s place.

She was afraid to bring this up with Ellie too, because if she was homophobic it meant Ellie was under fire too and Abby wanted to cry from how bad she felt. They have been friends since they were children and Abby was the first person Ellie came out to and now Abby felt like she might ruin something between them and betray Ellie's trust.

Ellie noticed something was up with her and Abby already saw her stubborn frown that meant she wouldn't get away without talking to her.

"What's up with you? You look like a kicked puppy." Ellie took a swig of her beer as she observed Abby, trying to read her non-verbals.

"I've discovered something about myself I'm not really proud of." Abby admitted and Ellie nodded knowingly as if she already knew what Abby was going to say. Fuck, was she micro-homophobic to Ellie before? Was it something noticeable? Did she hurt Ellie? "I'm a homophobe."

The knowing look on Ellie's face changed to shock as her eyes grew in size and her mouth fell open.

"You're what." Ellie asked carefully as if Abby was an angry animal who needed to be calmed down.

"I'm sorry." Abby said immediately. "I know it sounds ridiculous since you're my best friend but hear me out."

“..Okay.”

“Fuck, it’s so awful.” Abby started, ashamed of herself. “A few weeks ago (y/n) and I discussed  bringing people over and she started bringing girls. And I thought I'd be okay with it, but I'm just. So disgusted. I literally want to throw up.” Abby looked at Ellie, ready to accept her reaction, no matter what it would be, but Ellie only stared at her, confused.

"That's why you think you're a homophobe?"

"Yes. Because I'm only like that when she brings girls over. She is the best roommate I've ever had, but I'm not fine with her being gay."

"Are you fine with me being gay?" Ellie asked, still confused, and Abby felt the guilt wash over her.

"I don't know anymore. You didn't have sex in the same apartment with me, so I have no evidence. I think I'm fine if you keep it to yourself?" Why was she like this? This was her best friend and she was a total asshole to her right now.

Ellie sat straight and leaned to Abby as if she wanted to say something important.

"Abby. Abigail. You went to lesbian bars with me. You saw me making out. You were hit on a million times by other women. I never kept it to myself with you." Ellie waited until Abby took it in. "I'll prove it to you."

Ellie stood up and went to the door to her room, opening it halfway and sticking her head out.

"Dina! Can you come here?"

Ellie's roommate came into the room a few moments later and Abby was confused as fuck - did they need a whole council to decide Abby's fate or what?

"Abby here thinks she is a homophobe. Can you make out with me in front of her?"

Abby couldn't help but laugh in surprise, her affection for Ellie's stupid ideas lifting her mood a little. Dina laughed too and shrugged, sitting next to Ellie on the opposite side of Abby.

"Pda is generally uncomfortable, you know." Dina said to Ellie, seemingly thinking her idea was stupid too, but still rolling with it.

"Well, you tell us Abby if it's generally uncomfortable or you want us to burn in hell." Ellie murmured in Dina's lips before she kissed her.

Abby felt her breath hitch as she watched them making out and it was even more embarrassing - she didn't feel disgust, no. She felt- She felt-

Abby was terrified to give a name to this feeling, suddenly ashamed of what she felt as she watched her best friend making out with another girl, but her chest fluttered and her heart was beating faster. She felt an ache between her legs and it was even more embarrassing - was she- was she fetishizing her best friend? Was she that deranged?

"So, do you want to throw up?" Ellie asked, panting, as she moved her hands away from Dina's face.

"No." What Abby actually wanted was a very different thing. "I mean- no. I'm fine. You both are pretty, so."

Ellie and Dina shared a look between them, and if Abby paid attention she'd know their looks said "this bitch is stupid".

"Am I fetishizing you right now?" Abby asked, genuinely confused.

"I can't believe this shit." Ellie said, exasperated. "You're not. Abby, you're not a homophobe, okay?"

"I'm gonna go, I have shit to do. Good luck with the identity crisis, Abby." Dina said and left Ellie's room to give them privacy, knowing it was a conversation she shouldn't be a part of.

"But if I saw (y/n) like this I'd definitely puke. I almost did." Abby countered, still confused.

"So you're saying you only have this reaction to (y/n)?"

"I think so. How many lesbians do you think are having sex in my apartment?"

"Well, considering (y/n)'s body count, I'd say a lot."

Abby frowned in anger and Ellie caught it, coming up with a different reason.

"Maybe you're just uncomfortable with her having sex at your place. Would you care if she didn't bring those girls home but fucked them somewhere else?"

Abby went silent as she imagined that, but Ellie interrupted her fantasy where she was totally cool with you sleeping around outside your place.

"Because I know she stayed over at other people's places."

The cocktail of her awful emotions came back full force and the fantasy where Abby was okay with it was in ruins, replaced with fury - she didn't know that and it made her fucking mad.

"How do you know that?"

"Gossip." Ellie said shortly. "So, do you care if she fucks somewhere else?"

Oh, Abby wanted to lie so bad. She wanted to pretend the whole issue was just about your sex life on her doorstep, but she was tired of feeling like this. She was tired of getting angry at you for nothing and she just wanted everything to be back to normal.

"I do."

"Okay." Ellie sighed. "I'm going to say something, okay?"

Abby nodded, apprehensive.

"You're jealous, Abby."

"Nah, I had Owen, remember? I'm not worried about having less sex." Abby said, relieved: she already thought of this and figured out it wasn't about who had more sex in your apartment.

"No, Abs. You're jealous of all those girls who fuck her."

"That… doesn't make sense." Abby laughed nervously, suddenly filled with desire to hide from Ellie and her words.

"Dude, being homophobic to one person doesn't make sense either, since a) I'm your best friend and I'm a lesbian b) you didn't punch me when I told you I had a crush on you-"

"That was so embarrassing why would you bring it up-"

"And c) you literally punch homophobes in their face."

"I'm not gay." Abby said stubbornly. Yes she did punch some homophobes in her life, but it didn't make her a lesbian. She didn't like girls! She wasn't like that!

"I didn't say that." Ellie chuckled like she caught Abby on something. "But the thought that you're homophobic is ridiculous."

It was ridiculous. Oh god. Abby felt so stupid right now - what kind of mental gymnastics was she doing? And she was so sure of it too, it really seemed logical and sensible. But if she wasn't homophobic, she didn't care where you had sex (she only cared that you had sex at all), what was her problem?

"Have you ever thought of her in that way?" Ellie asked.

"Why would I?" Abby asked, suddenly defensive.

"Why would it be so wrong if you liked girls?"

That question broke Abby's brains. She stared at Ellie for a few seconds, not even comprehending her words. Indeed, why would it be so wrong? There was nothing wrong with liking girls, why didn't she want to even entertain the idea? Why did she push this "husband two and a half kids dog" agenda on herself? 

"Am I fucking-" Abby was shocked as thoughts ran through her head at light speed. "Am I homophobic to myself?"

"This feels like therapy, I swear." Ellie chuckled. "Dude, if you feel guilty for liking girls then yes, you're homophobic to yourself."

"I just-" Abby looked at her own hands, still shocked. "I didn't think I was allowed." 

"Well, as the president of lesbians I'm giving you permission to like girls. How does it feel?"

"Like you're stupid and I'm even more stupid." Abby deadpanned. "This is-"

So many things started to make sense: the way Abby always tried not to stare at other girls, how she preferred softness to hardness, "all girls are pretty", how she never bothered with boys because they didn't strike much interest and ran to girls instead because they were just better-

(How she stared at Caitlyn's tits)

"I'm not straight." Abby said and laughed. "And I'm so stupid."

Ellie laughed and nodded. She was happy for Abby, even if she was an utter idiot. 

"Homophobic my ass." Ellie thought as they clicked their bottles. "Congratulations on liking pussy, Abs."

Abby laughed, a little embarrassed, but she felt so light in that moment, finally free of years of guilt for looking at girls for too long. It also explained why didn't look at you when you were just out of the shower - she was just gay and scared. 

For some reason the conversation changed and they never got back to why you were Abby's "favourite", too overwhelmed with the biggest realisation of Abby's life. Abby was absolutely thrilled with her new discovery and excited about what laid ahead. 

As far as she could tell, all lesbians around her were having a hell of a fun time.

[mochiimac]

About Love 1

My head gets messy when I try to hide

The things I love about you in mind

Pairing: Hybrid!BTS x Fem!Reader

Summary: Becoming a best selling thriller author? Part of the plan. Living in the city and isolating yourself from everyone? Part of the plan. Inheriting your late uncles home in the woods, his sassy assistant and fortune after he died mysteriously? Not part of the plan. Oh, and he failed to mention the 7 'surprises' he left you as well.  And come to think of it... was his death an accident? Or is your imagination going wild again?

Genre: Hybrid!AU

Warnings (if bolded then this chapter contains these elements) : Fluff, Hurt, Comfort, Angst, Death, Abuse, Smut, Suggestive Themes, Violence, Dom/Sub, Non-Con Elements, Slow Burn, Trauma

Rating: M 18+

WC: ~7k

Tag List: OPEN- DM ONLY <3

Notes: Here is chapter 1! I’m so excited that people enjoyed the prologue, makes my heart happy(: I wonder who’s waiting for you in the house... Hmmm...

Prologue | Next>>

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“It’s so early... not even the sun is awake... why do I hate myself...” A sob threatened to spill past your lips as you numbly walked outside. The cold air was bullying you into tears as it stung your face and hands. 

6 am. 6 am. Who was even up this early, especially on a cold day like this-

Oh yes. That would be you.

The city streets were painted in gold from the streetlights and the remaining leaves that were still clinging on for dear life, ignoring the snow that sprinkled the ground with all their might. It was as though the city had been tucked under a large white blanket overnight, a blanket made of glistening diamonds that reflected the warm lights from all around. Truth be told it was beautiful to look at… just not when you have to be awake and freezing. While some would find this scene breathtakingly beautiful you, on the other hand, craved a flamethrower to tear it all down and seek vengeance for your poor skin.

Just goes to show how important proper sleep and caffeine are to begin the day. It could make the difference between waking up with a smile or beginning your villain arc. 

Your whole apartment was packed and loaded into the new large SUV, a surprise that came last week with Jackson. You knew you had obtained Takoda’s vehicle but it was surprising that it was brand new and could hold up to 8 individuals. Takoda lived alone with no marriages nor children… So why the large vehicle? Why purchase this large car along with the house? You didn’t miss the confusion on Jackson’s face when he handed you the keys, a hushed comment of ‘When did he even buy this?’ didn’t go past you. It only added to the suspicion of your uncle’s death. 

What was Takoda planning? 

Unfortunately the city left you with dead ends: the Spades family was a family full of successful lawyers, all ranging from medical to even real estate. They were the Eevees of lawyers, your family: one Spades for every type. The family slogan? ‘ Always have an ace of Spades up your sleeve!’ Every time you heard it your teeth would grind together, because for them it wasn’t about the person they were representing. No, never about their clients. It was about the money. And so trying to worm your way around and see what truly happened and what the other morticians wrote was impossible. Their loyalty (and mainly wallets) would be with your father. Rowan Spades. You were going to keep pushing however a small and short voicemail had you stopping dead in your tracks.

“Hi sweetie! Just checking in, Officer Lee mentioned you’ve been asking about your uncle’s case, and… oh hon, I know this mourning process is hard. Reach out if you need to talk! Be careful out there… snow and all!”

Lei Spades, the one person who, despite being shunned, still tried to help you. Perhaps it was because she was your mother. Or maybe she simply didn’t want Rowan to get upset.  She had met Rowan when she was young and naive, hell, she was still naive at times. At least you hoped she was. It would be worse for her to know how corrupt your father was and simply turn a blind eye because the money was just too good. But she had saved you a few times in the past from your fathers wrath. This being one of them. She would never call unless she had to. And the number was unknown, not her personal phone. A quick warning for her daughter to back away. And if Lei was the one giving the warning then you knew it was best to keep low… for now. But you did have one more place to look into…

The large home that you had yet to step into. The mysterious building that your new ‘assistant’ was hushed about. Any questions asked were either ignored or cut off with him changing the subject. The one that Jackson was supposed to drive you to later that day. You didn’t miss the urgency in his voice the previous week, the way his eyes were looking deep into your own. The moment was implanted in your mind, the goosebumps could still be felt...

“We will leave Friday at noon. Agreed?” He stood at your door, hands in his pocket as his eyes bore into you. The deep brown that was usually cool seemed to be ignited with a fire of sorts at the topic of the house. You noticed this each time you tried to ask questions or pry; the man was a vault and seemed uneasy. 

Unfortunately that only ignited your own flame.  

You managed to laugh a little, eyebrow raised. A small test to see how he would react... “Uh, sure? I mean if I’m already up I can always head on out early and meet you-” Your words were cut off as you jumped back when Jackson stepped closer. He crowded your space, face inches from your own as his hand grasped your shoulders. You tried to step back but your heel collided with a wall. His fingers gripped your shirt, however it wasn’t painful. The fire that was in his eyes had increased tenfold and you actually felt a small shiver of fear slide down your spine.

“Together. At. Noon.” His words were cool and flat, but you could hear the underlying tone. He was stressed about something. And while every alarm was going off in your head you managed to school your face, putting on a mask of frozen shock instead. 

“N-noon… o-okay.” You managed to sound meek, the act working as Jackson gave you a small smile, hands squeezing your shoulders as he stepped back. 

“Not a minute early nor late.” His eyes seemed to have cooled down at your words. His flickered up and down your body, something you noticed he did before leaving each visit. “Stay safe, Heiress.”

As soon as the door closed you leaned against the wall, sliding down while taking deep breaths. He failed the test, he was hiding something and you were going to figure it out. If he can keep secrets then so could you. 

After that little show you had whipped out your phone and were quick to contact the Sanity Squad, the video call was between you and your three best friends. And they were in agreement: Jackson was hiding something and whatever it was, it was in the house. Of course the first topic was if you should all go together since the whole situation was bizarre.

 Theories of him killing you were out the window seeing that he had nothing to gain and too many opportunities to do so. Oh, and Jessi proclaimed he was ‘too hot’ to be a serial killer. The next theory seemed more plausible: he knew some information on Takoda’s death and wanted to make sure you didn’t find any clues. But Jackson had a key to the house so again, that was a dead end. He could easily hide the evidence or destroy it. 

Hours later, and a warning from your phone that the battery was going to die, you announced you would simply beat him there and see for yourself. It was your stance and no one could change your mind.

So here you are on this fine Friday morning, beating the sassy assistant by several hours, and hopping into a brand new vehicle. It was sleek and black, the interior dark with faux leather seats. A large touchpad illuminated the space and you were thankful it was able to self-drive. Although these types of cars are common many prefer the old fashioned way of driving and just doing it themselves. But with this tank? You preferred to let it do the work while you kicked back and watched.

You keyed in your first stop in the car’s GPS, feeling it slowly ease away from the building you had lived in for years. It was odd, knowing that you would never be back but at the same time it was a relief to be going to a place that had room to breathe. And no noisy neighbors to keep you up till the wee hours of the morning. Now that you would not miss, not one bit. But you would miss the cozy feel of the small space. It was bittersweet to see it fade behind you. 

Ten minutes later and you were parked outside the small coffee shop, I Need Brew, a place you would frequent with your friends. It was hybrid friendly and a great place for many hybrids to begin working, gaining skills for later careers. Or some chose to stay and continue working for the beloved company. It was run by Bang Chan with his fox hybrid Felix being a manager; you knew the two well after frequenting the quaint shop. The fox adored your visits and would often slip you free goodies when Chan wasn’t looking. 

Slipping inside you were greeted with warmth and the smell of fresh coffee and baked goods. The interior was designed to make everyone feel at ease and cozy, soft music playing in the background to help the customers gradually wake up without giving them a headache.

“Y/n? At this hour?” 

You looked around, knowing the voice but not knowing where it came from, but then Felix peaked his head around the corner from the back. bright orange hair held specks of flour with his orange ears shooting up. His voice was light and somewhat shocked, but still held the adoration he had for you. In return you smiled and stepped further inside. 

“I knew I smelt something sweet walking in,” His face broke into a wide smile. 

You smiled back, walking towards the counter. “Yeah it’s a bit early for me… I’ve actually come to meet up with the group.”

“Again, at this hour? Do you know what time it is-?” A buzzing noise had the fox looking over his shoulder. “Go sit, I’ll grab you your favorites and be out in a minute.” He disappeared around back as you moved further into the shop, eyes already set on your usual table.

The past few years your group and yourself had always sat at the table located on the furthest wall, right by the counter and where the employees would mingle when waiting for customers. It was how you befriended so many of the employees, all of whom knew your favorite beverages and treats by heart. As you sat you heard the front door’s bell jingle as a blonde walked in, heading straight for your table. 

“I’m surprised you actually woke up,” You grinned as Jessi sat in the chair across from you, snow flurries clinging to her winter coat. “You usually sleep through all your alarms.”

“And miss my best friend leaving to head to the woods alone? Not a chance,” Jessi gave you a grin but you could see the worry in it, leaning closer she asked, “Are you sure we can’t come along? What if something bad happens-?”

“Nothing bad is going to happen.” You waved her off, actually believing yourself. Despite the odd circumstances your instincts were letting you know that this wasn’t dangerous at all. It was more… interesting. “Besides we have that locator app, right? One click and you all know something is wrong and the police will be rushing to save me.” You could still see the doubt in her eyes as she listened.

“I think it’d be best to take one of us with you today… just for safety reasons.” Her arms crossed over her chest, leaning back and watching you. “Especially with all that is going on.”

You opened your mouth to protest once more however the familiar jingle of the bell alerted everyone of more customers. You could hear them before you could see them; quick footsteps headed towards you before arms encased your shoulders, a face buried in your neck as a soft vibration pressed against your back. Something soft and warm wrapped around your waist, tightening a fraction as a giggle reached your ears. 

“Wooyoung, how do you have so much energy this morning?” 

You glanced up to see Hongjoong taking a seat next to Jessi, the man looking exhausted with his iconic split black and white hair disheveled in a disastrous way.  His eyes were dead set on his hybrid Wooyoung who had wrapped himself around you, acting more snake than black panther. You could feel the cat’s purring increase, knowing those vibrant green eyes were focused on Hongjoong.

“Simple,” He nuzzled closer to you, feeling a grin on his face. “I have my Y/n here.” 

You remember when Hongjoong first adopted Wooyoung, how the black panther quite literally tackled you and complimented on how nice you smelt and was overjoyed to know that you were best friends with his owner. In his eyes that meant you were part of the ‘extended pack’, along with Jessi, and got to be scented just as much as Hongjoong was. Which he ensured you both were drenched in his scent, looking quite proud of himself each time. 

Reaching up you gently rubbed his head, scratching behind his ear just as he liked. You could feel how anxious he was, knowing you would be leaving, heading further away. It was an hour drive to get to the new home and his instincts weren’t liking having part of his pack be so far away. 

“You can still sell it and live with us,” Wooyoung mumbled into your neck, his breath tickling a bit. “Hyung wouldn’t mind.” 

“Aw, Woo, I won’t be so far away. Plus you can call whenever you want.” You received a pitiful whine from the male as he slowly let go of you, heading over to Jessi to scent her. It was hard to miss the droop of his ears, his last attempt at keeping you in the city gone. Although it tugged your heartstrings and almost made you want to change your mind, one look at Hongjoong and you knew he would be okay; the other male was smiling and shaking his head at the cat. 

“I know I said a minute but everyone else showed up. And these just came out fresh from the oven!” Felix was quick to hand out four mugs and a plate of mini muffins with different flavors. Stepping back his eyes landed on you with a raised eyebrow. “So, you’re going to your new home alone in the woods? I’m sure Chan can go with you if you need someone…” His voice trailed off, his tail flicking along with Wooyoung’s. Seemed like he didn’t like the idea either, his animal instincts wary of your decisions. You were thankful you weren’t part of their intimate packs- you wouldn’t even get your foot out the door. Let alone be able to grab the doorknob.

“It’s quite alright, it’s a new home I inherited.” You once again waved off the help. “Nothing wrong with it.” The fox nodded at your words, tail flicking once again to show his displeasure.

“But if anything happens you have people here, okay? Don’t be afraid to ask us for help.” With a boop to your nose he went back to baking while the four of you settled with small talk for a brief moment. Ignoring the world outside while you had the time and just living in the moment.

 Truth be told you had no idea how long it would before you got to see them once more. Pushing those thoughts aside you sipped your cup, smiling as Wooyoung took a seat next to you while Hongjoong and Jessi argued over a movie that just came out. As they argued Wooyoung shoved a gift bag in your lap, grinning over at you. 

“Woo got you a gift, well, he helped make it.” Hongjoong dropped the argument quickly when he heard the the bag being opened. You opened the gift and pulled out a beautiful red scarf. “The python hybrid next door, San? He taught Wooyoung how to knit.” Hongjoong beamed at Wooyoung with pride while the panther watched you, waiting to see your reaction.

There was a tremble in your lips as you pulled the incredibly soft scarf out. “Woo…” Tears threatened to fall as you turned to the panther. you felt his tail wrap back around you, pulling you into his chest as his purrs started once again.

“It’s made with love from us!” He smiled. “That way we’re never too far away… don’t cry, Y/n!” 

It was too late as a few tears fell, feeling Wooyoung pull you back into a hug that soon the others joined in with. “I have the best friends in the whole world.”

“Damn straight you do.” Jessi reached over, grabbing your hand with a grin.

“We love you too, Y/n.” Hongjoong placed his hand on top of Jessi’s, a soft smile on his face.

“You can still live with us- ” Wooyoung’s quick words were cut off with a whine when Hongjoong lightly wacked his arm. Pulling you closer to him, the panther let out the weakest growl you had ever heard. “In case she forgot, hyung not the ears!” You laughed as the growls turned into whines. 

Little moments like this made it even harder to say goodbye.

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It felt as though you were now living in a snow globe. Tall pines loomed all around, the roads were covered with inches of snow, all while snow flurries floated all around. The sun may have been hidden behind the clouds but the snow offered enough light to make up for it: everywhere you looked you had to squint from the jarring white canvas. You could feel the SUV cruise cautiously through the piles of snow and up the hills that were hidden from your eyes. 

“GPS you better be taking me to the right place…” You mumbled, eyes straying warily to the trees that surrounded you. It felt as though you were encased in a sea of deep green and white; it never seemed to end no matter how far ahead you tried to look.

The estimated time of arrival said five minutes but you wanted to call bullshit on that. The tree’s were so dense, so dark, surely a home couldn’t be located here? Who even built this place? Crossing your arms you watched as the car slowly cruised forward, itching to get out and investigate the home in person. As well as text Jackson that you had left about seven that morning… though you were more happy to wait to send that message. More alone time for you to sneak around the place and it kept Jackson from scolding you a little longer.

“You have arrived!” 

Your mouth opened, ready to yell ‘Liar!’ but it quickly closed when the car slowly took a turn and hidden was a house. Truth be told anyone could drive right by and miss it, the driveway being extremely narrow.

The home was snuggled amongst the tall pines, large and yet seemed to almost blend in with it’s surroundings and standout all at the same time. The house held a warmth and coziness to it and reminded you of the feeling of going back home after spending a long time away. It sat in a large clearing of the trees, and in the distance you could make out mountains that peaked to the sky. The early morning rays were just coming up, casting an ethereal glow all around. It was beautiful and you were frozen in your seat, watching the sun’s rays gently light up the clearing. A calling urged you to go inside, your heart was fluttering at the sight of it-

“You have arrived!” 

The moment was ruined with the car clearly wanting you to get out now. Grumbling, you stepped out of the vehicle and snuggled further into the scarf Wooyoung gifted you. It was much colder out in the wilderness than in the city, the wind whipping around and nipping at your cheeks in a cruel way. Colder and quieter. You could hear your own deep breaths across the baron land of snow. You knew there was a peace to the quiet however being alone in a foreign place it was hard to find it anything short of eerie. The hairs on your arms were rising as you took a deep breath, quietly closing the car door to not disrupt the stillness around you. 

The house lured you in with every step, your heartbeat quickening as the key was gripped between your fingers. Any normal person would be afraid, hell even terrified, if they were in your shoes. A family member was found dead with zero investigation done, trying to gain some answers only had your mother warning you to back off, and lastly a house no one knew of was left to you. An hour away from the city your family basically owned. 

However you felt anything but fear. There was curiosity for sure and a yearning for discovering what could be hidden within the walls of this building. What could have Takoda been up to with purchasing this place? It looked new too, no physical wear and tear on the outside from the weather. You wondered what he was hiding… And there was something else too, something deep in you that wanted to run in the building. A call from somewhere inside that had anticipation swimming in your veins. 

The key slid in with a soft click! The door slowly opening while your eyes were wide and surveying your new home. You were awaiting darkness to greet you; a home that has been sat for too long and was full of cobwebs and dust from the lack of visitors. A cold and dark home was what you were mentally prepared for especially since Jackson was only dropping your boxes off and then quickly returning to his job. However you were shocked at what awaited you.

The foyer was large and spacious, the walls were painted a neutral color and the floors were solid wood. To your left and right were spacious rooms that were rather empty, save for a large sectional couch in one of them with an insanely large flat screen mounted to the wall. There were tall and large windows throughout, letting in the natural sunlight and giving an airy and soft feel to the overall place. Not far from the door was a large staircase with quite a few steps, and you spotted some of your boxes placed randomly along each step.

Your eyebrows knit together as you stepped closer, noticing the boxes were opened. Some even appeared to be missing items, spotting a box that was full of blankets now only containing a single blanket. A frown tugged on your lips, wondering what Jackson had been up to… he wasn’t stealing from you… was he?

You crept up the stairs, spotting more and more of your boxes placed randomly along the steps. Books had been looked through, some missing; blankets were taken out of the box, one box even being completely empty. Finally making it to the top you felt your stomach knot as you found some of your clothes scattered around the large landing. Thankfully it was just shirts and hoodies, nothing too personal, but it still made your blood freeze.  

Jackson was the only one who had the other key… right? No one else should have been there… What if your father found out and sent someone to spy? No, no professional would make it look this terrible. What if this was a warning for you? To leave? Fear shot down your spine as you followed the scattered clothes towards a pair of French doors at the very end of the landing. 

Almost like a trail. 

Your legs felt like lead as you moved closer, steps silent as you crept along, throat dry as a million thoughts and scenarios ran through your mind. What if someone broke in and was needing a place to stay? What if they were dangerous, a criminal on the run? Or a dangerous hybrid? If the intruder were human you stood a small chance. But if they were a hybrid, a being designed to outperform humans in many ways... and if they were a predator... the very thought had your limbs locking up.

Despite the fear that shook you to your core, there was the feeling again: you needed to be there. Something important was waiting for you in that house. An instinct that pushed you to keep moving, a need that fought against the fear that dwelled in you. As if you found this certain thing, you’d be safe. You’d be fine. 

Perhaps you have lost your mind.

Standing before the doors you took a moment to gather yourself, gain some courage, and then you had the doors flying open. Body tense as your eyes scanned the entire area, prepared to face the intruder head on-

No one was inside. But what you saw had you shaking.

Your lips turned downwards at the sight before you, hand gripping the door to try to keep grounded. The room was large, a master bedroom that was fit for a family really. Like the rest of the home it was rather empty with the exception of the large bed, an Alaskan king, and your brain was fried trying to process why a bed that large was there and why all your belongings were all over the bed. You felt a chill roll down your spine as you stepped into the room carefully, mentally waiting for someone to jump out and attack you. 

But again that other feeling, the part of you that you called insane, felt secure as well. Something about being in that room had you feeling at ease as well as afraid all at the same time. You felt nauseated with the mixed feelings swirling in your head. 

All the blankets, clothes, and books that went missing were right there. A part of you wanted to grab your things and go through it all and see what was done to each item. But a larger part of you wanted to curl up in the warm blankets and hide away, ignore all the craziness that you were facing, and seize to exist. If only... 

‘Come on, Y/n. Put on a brave face.’  You mentally scolded yourself for being weak; this was your home after all. Taking a deep breath you strolled into the bedroom with more confidence and was going to begin your investigation when the sound of a door closing echoed across the empty house. 

 ‘Fuck the brave face.’ Your blood turned to ice, instincts taking over you flung yourself under the bed. You pressed your hand against your mouth, trying to calm your breathing as you waited and listened as well as you could. You closed your eyes, willing your ears to straining and hear anything. The silence was torture, not even footsteps could be heard. You wished you could at least hear where they were-

A low growl echoed against the walls of the staircase. An actual growl... an animal? You don’t recall leaving the door open, but perhaps you did when you noticed your belongings scattered about... 

Did you accidentally let in a wild animal? 

As you tried to decipher how the creature got in you heard heavy paws hitting the stairs, the growl low as it came closer and closer. Every step had your heart pounding in your chest and for a moment you wondered if you would die from a heart attack before being mauled by a beast. The thought died as soon as you realized that the paws had stopped somewhere near the landing. 

Then, ever so slowly, you heard the paws approach the bedroom. The growl was coming closer and closer, your body nearly shaking as you squeezed your eyes shut tighter. The paws stopped at the bedroom entrance, the growl lower, more of a rumble now as it continued forward. It got closer and closer, the air feeling heavier with each passing second. The rumbling was now right in front of you.

 Swallowing the lump in your throat you slowly opened your eyes.

A cloud of browns, blacks, blondes, and silvers invaded your vision at first. Fur that was so thick and long you felt an urge to reach out touch it, knowing it must have been so warm and soft. But you remained frozen as a pair of eyes, lilac- no... gold? You could have sworn they were lilac for a moment but now they were a brilliant gold, stared you down. Eternity could have passed and you wouldn’t have known, not while the canine was intensely watching your every breath. A moment of silence, a moment of stillness-

It lunged and you screamed, your throat immediately burning from the raw strength behind it. Faster than you thought possible you managed to leave your hiding spot just as the large beast arrived. Your feet were moving too fast for you to keep up, heart leaping up your throat as grunts and whines followed you. When you heard those heavy paws hitting the floor you cried out again, the staircase right there. 

You believed you could easily dash down the stairs and into the car. You’d be safe there and maybe you could easily call for help. For a brief moment you wished you had waited for Jackson. At least you could trip the man and give yourself some extra time to escape... unless he did it first, which you knew he would.

However fate was a cruel mistress to you today; wet shoes slid against the wooden floor, propelling you face first down the steps. Your voice was stuck in your throat as you sharply inhaled and braced yourself for impact. You felt something solid, but it wasn’t wood. It was... warm and inviting... 

Two arms snaked around you, pulling you closer and easily catching you from the fall. Your feet were dangling off the floor with your cheek pressed against something solid that held a low vibration. Whoever this was was strong enough to hold you carefully around the waist with ease and you stiffened as your realized you weren’t alone with just that canine anymore.

“Relax Beautiful,” The voice was right in your ear, a murmur to help ease you. The voice was soothing to hear and you obeyed immediately as if it were natural to trust a stranger like this. The logical part of your brain was screaming at you to break free and run. But there was another part of your brain, something instinctual, that wanted nothing more than to obey. That there was safety and comfort within these arms that would shield you from the whole world...

The voice let out a soft hum, pleased as you listened without a fuss. The arms were still tight as something soft traced your neck, the vibrations increasing before stopping all at once. “My, my, Beautiful. it’s no wonder he was upset, smelling the way you do.” Their tone became deeper, displeasure stirring just underneath the words. Something in you nearly whined- as if you couldn’t stand the thought of displeasing the stranger. Thankfully the logical side of your brain kicked into action.

You snapped out of the trance you were in and physically flailed yourself away. You could tell the stranger was surprised by your sudden outburst and used it to stumble back, feeling your heel collide with a step, causing you to fall and land on it with your butt. Your nearly fall had thrusted you forward, passing the first flight of stairs and nearly onto the midlevel landing. Which was where a new figure was now peering down at you.

A handsome man with beautiful features stood before you, bright blue eyes watching your every move with plump lips forming a soft smile. His hair was jet black and on top was a set of fuzzy black ears. Something swayed out of the corner of your eye and you saw a fluffy tail that had black fur with white underneath, the tip of the tail was also white. He wore dark denim jeans and a white tee, the letter’s DRF embroidered on the top left corner in crimson. A hybrid was in your new home-

A low growl was behind you and for a brief moment thought it was surely going to attack you now. But you were shocked to feel something cool against your head as another high pitch whine was right by your ear. It’s muzzle was nudging you, whining, trying to get you to move but you were too shocked to move a single muscle.

“Wh-who are you?” You wanted to sound demanding. You wanted to sound strong. But your voice cracked and hands slightly shook as your eyes remained focused on the hybrid in front of you. 

He gave you another soft smile, lowering himself on the landing to meet your gaze properly. “My name is Seokjin, but please call me Jin. The wolfdog behind you is Jungkook. You, Beautiful, must be Y/n Spades.” His smile widened as you slowly nodded your head, your own eyes staring at him with mixed emotions. “Your uncle, Takoda Spades, left us a letter detailing that you were to inherit us if anything were to happen... this is correct, yes?” 

“I... the will never mentioned hybrids...” 

“For all of our protection, yes.” 

A new voice. This one deeper than the last, all eyes snapping to the foot of the stairs. He was taller than Jin and seemed to hold more muscle as his white shirt (the same exact one Jin was wearing) had a tighter fit, muscles threatening to breakthrough. His hair was a light ash blonde, smoky and seeming more white/gray, with fluffy dark gray ears on top, pointed and standing alert. Your eyes met his and for a fraction of a second you could have sworn they were glowing lilac but it must have been the lighting, instead they were a warm amber that held a fire inside. A fire that invited you to get closer, to feel his warmth and embrace him. You were lost in that warmth, body leaning slightly forward without your knowledge. 

Jin’s tail softly wagged at the sight of the male, bright eyes looking between the two of you. Your actions didn’t go unnoticed by anyone. “Y/n, this is Namjoon, our pack alpha-”

Swoosh!

A blur of movement ran passed the three of you in the matter of a second. The air hit your bare neck, your eyes wide as you realized the wolfdog, Jungkook, swiped your scarf and took off down the steps. There was shock for a brief moment before panic ensued- what if it was destroyed? The worry you emitted had Jin whining, stepping to you while Namjoon growled after the shifted hyrbid.

“Hey-!”

“Jungkook!”

You jumped up and ran past the two, much to their surprise, and ran down the stairs. You were ready to hunt the wolfdog down, get the scarf back and maybe even exile him to the woods for the night. He could freeze out there for the night, and then maybe he would appreciate the scarf a bit more-

“Oof-!”

You felt something solid and warm once again, this time face first. A hand locked on the back of your head, firmly and carefully, while another wrapped around your waist. Warm breath hit the top of your head, blowing a few strands gently, while you felt pressure rubbing your head.

“Please don’t be mad.” The voice was new one and you could hear the pout in it as well as the worry. It was heartbreakingly sad, could even make the world’s smallest violin sound mediocre in comparison. “It’s safe, it’s just in the wash. I couldn’t take it. Just his scent all over you and clinging to you like that-”

“Jungkook.”

Namjoon was right behind you, voice low with a displeased growl. In response Jungkook whined and clung to you, body locking to yours. His tone reminded you of a kid who got caught doing something bad. “Hyung, his scent is all over her! The scarf in the sink, I’ll wash it and have it dried by tomorrow!” 

Scent? Wooyoung. It took a second but you realized he was on edge about Wooyoung’s scent, on your and the scarf. It was what Jin was talking about earlier, you smelling with another hybrids scent was making them uncomfortable. You tried to step back but Jungkook refused the space. Instead he held tighter, face buried in your hair, cheek rubbing against you in a rushed manner.

“Jungkook, I’m not mad.”  Those magic words had the hybrid loosening his grip on you. It gave you an escape, putting some distance though his arm was still wrapped around your waist with his hand still in on the back of your head. Finger were softly twirling the strands. 

He was just as handsome as Jin and Namjoon; hair was a chocoate brown that was kept longer than the others, his ears were triangular like the others and matched the beautiful shades of his fur when he was shifted, as well as his long and fluffy tail. His eyes were doe-like and gold, trained on you with emotions you didn’t understand. A smile broke out on his face, his teeth looking more bunny-like than wolf. The smile and eyes settled your earlier thoughts and put out the angry fire that he had stirred. The idea of putting him outside nearly made your heartbreak.

“You’re not mad? You don’t want me to leave?” 

At his question your lips curved up slightly. “I’m not putting you in the doghouse Jungkook. I kind of understand why you did what you did.” His tail wagged, eyes brightening, and toned and bare chest rumbling-

Your cheeks turned red as you realized that Jungkook was lacking clothes. You were still being held close, so close you could feel the toned muscles flush against you, as well as something hard pressed right against your stomach-

“Jungkook. Clothes. Now.”

Namjoon was your saving grace, face so red you didn’t want to face them. But they didn’t need to see you to know how you were feeling. To put it lightly, Jungkook was more than pleased to be the one to have your scent become mouther watering and nearly impossible to ignore. You kept your gaze on his collar, refusing to look elsewhere. 

“Yes sir,” You could hear his amusement as his warmth almost disappeared. Almost. “Wait for me in the living room, Honey.” His voice was right in your ear and something sharp nipped at your earlobe. You jumped and squeaked as you hybrid walked out of your view, chuckling at you. 

You could feel the burn in your face, still refusing to move incase you got a whole view of the male. Not that a large part of you didn’t want to look, but damnit you were going to at least have some of your dignity. 

“He’s gone now, Beautiful. You can turn around.” The tease in Jin’s voice brought a pout to your face as you looked at the other two hybrids. Seeing your flushed cheeks and lips stuttering out had them almost cooing. Jin smiled softly at you. “Jungkook’s very playful, though he doesn’t mean harm.” You wanted to snort because the man was obviously trying to give you a heart attack. 

Namjoon stepped forward, a smile trying to form though he held it back. Trying to save you some face at least. In his hands were a few files with DRF stamped in large letters across each one and one envelope with Namjoon written across it. “Mr. Spades left a letter for us and lightly explained a few things.” 

Your heart picked up as you wondered what was written to them. Perhaps there was something hidden inside that letter that you needed. What if they knew what happened to him? What if everything written inside the envelope and solved what happened to your late uncle? 

“Let’s head to the living room, we’ll wait for Jungkook and then talk.” Jin offered, already taking your hand and leading you towards one of the large room. His thumb rubbed soft circles on the back of your hand as those bright blue eyes seemed worried. You could almost feel Namjoon’s own worry radiate from behind the two of you, and you couldn’t help but wonder...

What was in that letter?

While you were pondering what could have been written you failed to realize you had left your device in the car. The screen lit up once more, 7 missed calls from Sassy ASSistant and followed by one text:

Sassy ASSistant: Y/n Spades you are in serious trouble when I get there.

｡❅*⋆⍋*｡*⍋⋆*❅｡    

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[from-the-clouds]

texas sun - joel miller x f!reader - vol. xii

series masterlist | series playlist | writing masterlist | previous chapter |

chapter summary: Things with Joel come to a head when you're forced on a patrol together. pairing: joel miller x f!reader words: 5k chapter warnings: CANON TYPICAL CONTENT/VIOLENCE/SUFFERING. Angst/arguments. Discussions of death, descriptions of being ambushed, blood and injuries. Keeping these vague so as not to spoil but if for whatever reason the show was 'too much' for you, this might be a good chapter to skip. If you want a TLDR I can give you one in the DMs. a/n: I didn't really proofread this chapter because I fought with it a bunch and just wanted to get it out to ya'll. Please enjoy!

**I DO NOT HAVE A TAGLIST. Please follow @ftcwriting and turn on notifs if you would like to be notified when I update my works :) **

-April 30, 2024-

It’s an uncharacteristically chilly day, but something heavy still hangs in the air as you walk downtown with Ethan. Well really, – Ethan is walking, you aren’t. At least, not quite. He’s so tall, and his strides are so long, that every couple steps you have to jog a pace or two just to keep up with him. Years ago, when it had just been the two of you on your own, he had been a lot better at waiting up for you. But this is the new norm. There’s no imminent danger, so it’s not necessary to watch each other’s backs. Even so, you find that you’re still always looking out for him out of habit.

A group of younger women pass by you, arms looped through one anothers as they giggle and talk – you can’t help but feel a little bitter at the sight, nostalgic for what that sort of camaraderie felt like. But before you can dwell on it too much, one of the girls’ face lights up and she waves to your nephew. 

“Hey Ethan,” she grins. 

Ethan does a double-take, pace faltering as he looks over his shoulder to give her a smile. “Hey.” 

The moment is over as quick as it began. For the most part, you know most of Ethan’s friends, and most of the people in the community. But you don't recognize this girl. 

“Who was that?” you ask. 

“No one,” he answers quickly. 

“Really? You don’t know her name?”

“Shhh!” He pushes you forward to put more distance between you and the group that has already passed, and it’s funny how you always seem to forget he’s a grown man whose strength far outweighs your own. “Can you just be cool?”

You roll your eyes and shake your head. “Can I not ask a question?” 

“You can….at a lower volume.”

You snort, but continue on, whispering. “Okay, fine. She’s cute. Is she new here?”

“I don’t know,” he says, tone bordering on defensive. “Why do you care so much? Isn’t she a little young for you?” 

“Oh my god, Ethan,” you’re slightly offended by the insinuation. “All I was going to say was she seemed happy to see you.” 

“Yeah, well…” he shoves his hands in his pockets and looks over his shoulder. “Cool, whatever.”

“You are just like your dad,” you say. “He was always so bad at playing it cool.” 

This softens Ethan a bit, and you watch his shoulders sag. After Vincent died, you had made it a point to tell Ethan everything you could about his father. Even though it hurt, and reminded you of how much you missed him everyday, surprisingly, it ended up feeling like a good way to mourn him, and work through everything you had been through. 

"Oh, yeah?" he teases. "And you are?"

You have a feeling you know what he's going to bring up, so instead of questioning him further, you change the subject.

“God, it’s kind of cold,” you comment, wrapping your jacket closer around you as a breeze whirls past you. 

“What, can’t you handle it?” Ethan teases. “It might even rain. That’ll be a long day.” 

You’d walked into town with him to begin with because he was going to eat breakfast in the mess hall, and you had a patrol shift. “I’ll be fine.” you say, even as your stomach flips. Every shift comes with its own set of nerves. For as much as you don’t like the feeling, you know that the apprehension keeps you sharp. 

And really, you like being outside the walls. Years spent in the wilderness have made the remote area feel like home – you love the feeling of the breeze rustling through your hair, the ever present smell of the pines. Plus, you're usually partnered up with good company, even if things get stressful. 

Still, today….something feels off. Maybe it’s the low barometric pressure. 

“I oughta go, I’ll see you tonight, okay?” you turn to look at Ethan, and he gives you a nod and salute before ducking into the mess hall.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“Tommy, no,” you put your hands on your hips. “Me and Joel? That's a terrible idea.”

“I don’t have any other options,” he says. “Eugene is out sick. There’s no one else available for me to pair you with.” 

“Yeah right,” you roll your eyes, crossing your arms. “I know how much you love to meddle.”

“Who, me?” he asks, incredulous, but there’s a grin on his face.

Being in Jackson has domesticated you, because a different version of yourself would’ve probably slapped the grin off of Tommy’s face, turned in your cowboy boots and stomped out of the barn. But you feel such aggressive retaliation will only betray your feelings for Joel. 

It’s only been a few weeks since dinner at Tommy and Maria’s and despite the small moment you shared with Joel on their back porch, nothing much has changed. You’re not sure why you desperately want things to. You’re not even sure what you’re hoping for anymore – kindness seems unlikely, but even his cruelty would be preferable to being ignored.

“I can go by myself,” you offer. “I know the area. No one needs to take Eugene’s spot.” 

Tommy scoffs. “If I did allow that – which I won’t, because it’s rule number one – and Maria found out, I’d never hear the end of it.”

“Tommy, it…” you sigh. “He wants nothing to do with me. It’ll be horrible, and awkward. For the sake of everyone, it’s better we keep our distance.”

“He’ll come around,” Tommy says. “I promise.”

“I don’t need him to,” you say, and it’s convincing enough that you believe it, even if only for a second.

“Come on. What’s the worst that can happen?” Tommy asks. “It might be awkward, but you’ll scout some places out, find a couple cans of food, and it’ll be over before you know it.”

You set your jaw, tilt your head. “Fine. But you know I’m not going to be the easy one to convince.”

“Oh, I’m well aware,” he says. 

Almost as if on cue, you turn at the sound of footsteps, and find Joel standing in the doorway to the empty stall you were arguing with Tommy in. 

Great. 

“Joel,” Tommy says. “I’ve paired the two of you up today. Two of our other rangers are out sick.” 

Joel looks at you. “Absolutely not.” 

“There it is,” you purse your lips, and glance knowingly at Tommy. 

“Well, I don’t have any other options.” Tommy begins. “Plus, we usually pair newbies up with our more experienced rangers to help them."

Joel lets out a barking laugh. “I don’t need a babysitter.”

For a second, he meets your eyes, and you avert your own to the floor. Hearing him be so vehemently against interacting with you, even though you’d expected it, isn't exactly a pleasant experience.

“It’s not babysitting,” Tommy says. “She’s been in the community longer, so she knows the terrain better than you do.”

“Who else is there?” 

“Joel,” Tommy says. “This is not a negotiation. It’s an order.”

Turns out it is a negotiation, because there’s quite a bit more back and forth between the two of them – so much so that you end up brushing past Joel to go saddle up your horse, Neptune. You catch snippets of the conversation, whispered in hushed tones, but you’re too annoyed to piece them into anything coherent. 

Eventually, though, Tommy mutters something about looking after Ellie and Joel gives in, the barn falling silent as he goes off to prep for his shift.

You had seen Ellie several times at Tommy and Maria’s over the past few weeks, and she even approached you once when she found you eating alone at the mess hall. The two of you don’t really talk much about Joel, but she did give you a bit of an explanation about how they ended up together. According to her, he was tasked with bringing her out to some Fireflies base camp because her family was there, but when they arrived the camp was overrun. The story begs more questions than it does answers, in your opinion, but you don’t bother trying to poke holes in it. There’s certainly parts of your past you wouldn’t want to explain to anyone if questioned. 

In some ways, she does remind you of Sarah…it sort of makes sense they ended up together, even if they’re quite the odd pair. Like Sarah, Ellie is smart and clever – but where they differ is where she reminds you more of yourself at her age. Very passionate with a bit of a mean streak. It was a defense mechanism that, as you got older, you had gotten better at channeling, but only when you needed to. 

Tommy sends you and Joel both north to scout an area you’re pretty familiar with. Joel keeps his horse several paces up ahead of you, which becomes frustrating, especially since you know where you’re going and he doesn’t, and you have to keep calling out and instructing him to change the course. He does so wordlessly, but refuses to let his horse fall into step beside yours, keeping his shoulders hunched and his head hung low. 

You think back to the beginning of the outbreak, and all the things you had lost. At that point, you still had Vincent, but even your brother couldn’t offer the support you had needed. You had wanted Joel, had craved the feeling of comfort and safety that only he had ever been able to give you. And even though you’d been forced to give up looking for him, you had always hoped he could feel you. Even now, it’s all you want. But he seems oblivious. And as your patience wears thin, you know something between you is bound to snap. 

In some areas of the mountains, the terrain is so rough you have to dismount to lead your horses through it. This area isn’t frequented often, mostly because the loose and large rocks you tread over is a natural repellent to both humans and Infected. But it’s not impossible to traverse, so you still have to keep an eye out. 

You don’t find much, but the farther into the woods you get, the darker the sky becomes. Thunder rumbles in the distance, and you hope the storm skips over you, even though it seems unlikely. Despite dressing for the occasion, you’re still cold as the wind picks up, and when you feel the first drops of rain, you pull up alongside Joel. 

“Might want to keep an eye out for shelter in case this gets any worse,” you say to him. Joel turns to look at you, and you catch, for a minute, a forlorn expression in his eyes. It disappears as he nods wordlessly, and you’re surprised he doesn’t argue with you. 

The storm grows more intense, the drops of rain turning into a full-on downpour, and lightning illuminates the sky. A spring thunderstorm. If you were at home today, you might’ve been curled up on the couch with a good book and a window cracked. But instead, you’re out in the middle of nowhere, forced into the company of your former lover who now hates you, torrential downpour soaking through your water-resistant jacket and making you shiver. 

Joel crests over a ridge, and pauses to point to a cabin maybe a quarter mile away. You’re in unfamiliar territory at this point, and it’ll probably need to be cleared out, but you’re desperate for a place to wait out the poor weather. 

As you near the cabin, you see it’s clearly abandoned. Inside, it’s been picked over. Furniture is strewn about, drawers and cabinets hanging open, but other than that…it’s in pretty decent shape. Good enough to be fixed up for an outpost, and you draw a rudimentary map to take back to Tommy, should any other rangers be sent to the area. 

Once the house is secured and you get the horses settled in the garage, you do your obligatory sweep of any drawers, cabinets, and closets. It’s mostly picked over, and nature has begun to take over in some of the rooms, the tree roots peaking through cracks in the wooden floor. 

Letting another cabinet fall closed, you sigh. 

“Find anything?” you’re surprised to hear Joel ask, as he comes down the stairs. 

“No,” you say. “You?” 

“Nothing,” Joel says, and sits onto an ancient couch. For a split second, you admire him, as he runs his fingers through his damp hair to push it off his forehead. You’re ashamed that you’re still attracted to him, potentially even moreso than you used to be. Maybe you always imagined growing old with him, and it was nice to see, even if the context was different. You knew that daydreaming about what could’ve been wasn’t the healthiest coping mechanism, but thinking about your time with Joel, and the future you’d never have with him had gotten you through some of your darkest days. You wonder if he had ever thought about it, just to feel something other than sorrow. But with the way he’s been acting, you question if he ever even cared about you at all. 

With no other distractions to keep you occupied, all you can do now is sit across from him, and wait out the storm. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Joel picks up a well-worn book with broken binding off the shelf next to where he sits, and spares a glance your direction. You’re on a chair across from him, staring out the window. He can’t tell if you’re trying to keep watch or avoid talking to him. Either way, he doesn’t care. 

The book in his hands is a self-help book written by man who had lived in the wilderness for an entire year, and so generously detailed all the things he learned from the experience. Joel almost laughs at how ridiculous the description sounds. When he places the book back where he found it, you pipe up. 

“No good?” you ask. 

Joel shakes his head wordlessly. He’s been doing a pretty decent job of keeping you at arm's length. He tries to avoid the hurt he notices in your eyes whenever he brushes you aside, which is why he tends to keep his back to you, so he doesn't have to see it over and over again. It’s just the right thing to do. Letting Ellie into his life had been hard enough. He isn’t willing to make himself even more vulnerable. 

“Shit,” you say, looking disappointed. “Well if there’s nothing else to do, we might actually have to talk to each other.” 

Joel puts his arm over the back of the sofa, and looks out the window. “No?” you prompt. “Well then, can I at least ask you something?” 

“Depends.” 

“I guess I just have been thinking…” you trail off. “After everything….the fact that the two of us are together. Feels like….I don’t know. Do you think it means something?”

Joel looks over at you, finds you leaning forward in your chair. You discarded your jacket to dry on the railing of the staircase, and your flannel shirt hangs open as you lean onto your elbows, an expectant look on your face. 

Joel had learned long ago that it was senseless to look for meaning in this world. There was no rhyme or reason for why things happened the way they did – they just happened. All the good, and all the terrible. There was only so much he could do to control them, as much as he tried. And it made him feel helpless.

“It’s a coincidence.”

“Right,” you say, enunciating the T pointedly. He’s thankful when your jaw sets, and your expression gives nothing else away. “So what, then? We should just act like we’re strangers? Just pretend like…we never knew each other?”

“It was over twenty years ago. I’ve moved on,” Joel says. The more he can deflect, push you away, the more angry you’ll likely get, and the faster this conversation will end. 

But you surprise him. 

“Okay,” you say, looking at the floor. “I mean, I get it. I did too, because I thought you were dead. But you aren’t, so maybe we could just talk-”

“What is there to talk about?” Joel asks. 

You’re incredulous. “So many things, Joel. But you’ve been…so….” you struggle to find the words. “I don’t think this is a coincidence. And you’re right. It was a long time ago, so maybe it’s foolish to think that we could maybe-” you cut yourself off, shake your head. “I feel like I at least deserve to know why you want nothing to do with me now.” 

Joel notices how your knuckles are white from how tightly you have your hands clasped in one another’s. You’re probably angry. That’s what he wants. But you’re trying so hard to control yourself, to connect with him, and he’s shocked that you find him worthy of that energy no matter how many times he pushes you away. 

“I’m not the man you knew. You’re wasting your time.” 

You blink once. “Yeah. Okay. So that’s it?”

Joel remains stone faced.

“Well that’s,” you sigh, put your head in your hands for a split second, let out a choked sounding laugh, and look back over at him. “That’s so fucking stupid.” 

“How do you think I got here? How do you think I survived for as long as I did? I’m not the same woman that I was, either. But that’s just how it fucking works. You’re gonna spend the rest of your life using that as an excuse to push people away – a friend, your own fucking brother-”

Joel flinches at the confirmation you might be just as bad as he is. 

“Don’t bring Tommy into-”

“I’m not going to walk on eggshells whenever we’re together because you can’t deal with your own shit,” you raise your voice again.  

Joel feels his lip curl, wondering why you won’t just give up, why you won’t just accept the rejection. But your hypocrisy is what frustrates him the most. He thinks back to when you’d been together. You were the reason he never told you he loved you. You were like quicksilver, sitting in the palm of his hand, but you’d run the second he tried to hold you. He never really got you, all of you, like he had wanted. “That’s great advice from someone who was always so good at being vulnerable.” 

That one seems to hurt you enough, and you recoil slightly, sit up straighter. “Sure, yeah. I was young, and I was fucking….I was scared. But I-I’m trying to be better.” 

He can’t stand the broken look on your face, would rather keep you angry. “Do you think I owe you something? None of that stuff matters anymore.” 

“Really? None of it matters? Even Sarah knew–” 

That slices through the thread of restraint he has left. “Enough.” 

“I loved her, Joel,” you plead with him. “I loved her, too.”

Joel rises to his feet, his hands clench into fists, and you stand too. “Don’t-” 

“-And you won’t even,” you swallow hard to compose yourself as Joel paces to look out the window. The rain has died down considerably, like it knows there’s only so much energy allowed to exist in one place. “You pretend like we didn’t know each other, I knew you Joel. I know you. And I knew her, and-”

“I said that’s enough!” Joel grabs the closest thing he can find, a lamp sitting on the side table, and hurls it across the room. It shatters upon impact, glass shards spraying in the air. He’s desperate to scare you off, willing to do anything to get you to stop poking holes in his resolve, it feels like you can see right through him, and he has no place to hide. 

But you don’t even recoil from the outburst. In fact, you seem almost satisfied. In letting his emotions get the best of him, he's shown you how much he still cares. It doesn’t stop him from continuing on.

“You don’t know me, and she wasn’t your daughter. You will never understand what it is like to lose your own child.”

You exhale sharply, like he’s punched you in the gut, the color draining from your face. Eyes still red-rimmed, but the fire inside them is now gone. 

“Okay,” you say, voice trembling and you look out the window. “It’s not raining anymore, so I’m gonna head back.”

“We’re supposed to finish the-”

“I don’t want to be anywhere near you,” you say, swiping at the corners of your eyes. “I don’t want to see you again, honestly. So just fuck off.” 

Within seconds, you’re gone, the garage door slamming behind you. Joel stays in place, even after he hears the measured beat of your horse running off into the woods. He’s done terrible things to a lot of people that didn’t deserve them – and he did them without a second thought. This had been exactly what he wanted, but this time, he’s filled with regret. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You can’t remember the last time you were this angry. 

Every nerve inside you is thrumming with electricity, and you are glad you’re alone, because you’re pretty sure the next person who touches you will get shocked. But even though you’re angry with Joel, you’re more angry with yourself. He had tried to warn you – and you just kept pushing. Why’d you allow yourself to grow so soft? To believe that you could both find a way to heal together? Bea had been wrong. Love was just another means to control someone else. Joel was no exception to the rule. 

Sure, there were things about you he didn’t understand. But you aren’t willing to give him any grace, not after the way he’d humiliated you, over and over….and you just let it happen. Maybe it was irresponsible to leave him there alone, but you didn’t care. He could find his way back, and even if he didn’t, it no longer mattered. 

The rage gives you tunnel vision, you can only see what’s directly in front of you, and even then, none of it registers. You’re not even sure how long you’ve been riding when you hear the gunfire rain down on you. 

It snaps you out of it – the sound of the bullets whizzing past your ears hitting the trees, ricocheting off the rocks at your feet. Almost immediately you leap off your horse and take cover behind a tree, drawing your pistol and listening closely to see where the attack came from. 

You hear voices – men’s voices, and the sound of leaves crunching underfoot. You pinpoint three distinct voices, but there could be more. 

“Where the fuck did she go?”

“Doesn’t matter, we should go after the horse.” 

“What if she has friends? She looked too put together to be alone.” 

“Even better. Come on, she couldn’t have gone far.” 

Truth be told, it’d been awhile since you’d had to navigate an ambush like this all alone. If you’d been paying closer attention, maybe you would’ve seen it coming. You’re already at a disadvantage, outnumbered, but it helps that you at least know their intentions. 

The footsteps grow closer, to your right, so quietly, you shuffle to the left of the tree you’re huddled up against, so you’re out of view when two of them pass you. You imagine the third one is scoping out a different section of the forest. Idiots, you think to yourself.

The adrenaline kicks in, and you pounce. One of the men is wearing a scarf, and that makes things easy, when you yank him backwards, hiding behind his broad shoulders, you use the fabric to cut off his airflow, staying clear of his arms flailing about while the man he was walking with turns, hesitating, gun raised, but he doesn’t fire – he can’t, or he’ll risk hitting his friend.

“Hey, hey, we just want to talk!” the man in front of you pleads as you catch his eyes over the shoulder of his friend, whose attempts at freeing himself become weaker and weaker as he fights to breathe. 

“No you don’t,” when the man goes limp in your arms, you shove him forward towards the man whose gun is now trained on you. He fires twice, but it’s you who delivers the final blow, so you don’t see where his bullets go. The two of them collapse together on the ground. 

Your heart starts to beat faster, suddenly increasing your ability to focus. Warmth blooms in the pit of your belly, and you whirl around towards the sound of footsteps in the snow, the third man appearing in front of you – his gun also raised. His eyes flicker nervously between you and the two others – who are dead, if not incapacitated, but you can’t worry about that now.

He’s hesitating with his gun raised – why, you aren’t sure. But you are, too. There’s something about the fear in his eyes that makes you feel almost guilty. It’s me, or him, you remind yourself, a mantra you have had to repeat far too many times trying to survive. When his eyes shift behind you, you pull the trigger, and a second gunshot echoes your own. You brace yourself, thinking he fired too, but instead, his body jolts two times with the impact of two bullets before he goes down. They were inexperienced, clearly, but it was still a close call. 

You look over your shoulder to find Joel behind you, gun still smoking, something dark and feral in his eyes. He lowers his weapon as you turn to face him fully. 

“I had it handled,” you say, briskly. But Joel doesn’t answer you. In fact, the insult doesn't seem to register at all - his eyes are wide. You follow his gaze down, towards your stomach. 

That’s when see it. 

Blood, and a lot of it, blooming at your stomach, dripping down under the waistband of your pants. When you go to press your hand against the wound, you realize you can’t feel your right arm – your shoulder is bleeding too. 

“Oh,” you suddenly feel lightheaded, cold. Your teeth chatter. “Shit.” 

You slump against a tree, expecting to feel the bark scratching your skin through your jacket, but you feel nothing at all as you slide to the ground. Above you, the sun shines brightly – like it had never stormed at all. 

Life goes on. 

You look towards the light, but it’s quickly obstructed by Joel, hovering over you. 

“We gotta-” he stutters, “We’ve gotta get out of here.” He says it like it’s a real possibility, looking down at your wounds. You can see it on his face. It’s not. 

“That bad?” you say, when he meets your gaze again. He doesn’t answer, opens his mouth and shakes his head no, but you can tell he’s lying. You take in a ragged breath. “Just tell Ethan that-”

“It’s not that bad. Stop it. Will you?” Joel says, like he’s suddenly remembered how to talk. “You’re fine. You’ll be fine.” 

“I don’t know,” you manage, and it’s hard to speak without feeling like you’re choking. “I-I don’t think so.” 

Joel’s hands find your shoulders, and despite the last thing he said to you before you left him, the gesture does give you some sense of comfort. “I’m so….I’m so fucking tired. Ethan’s alright. He doesn’t need me-”

“No, no,” Joel cuts you off. “He does, he does need you. Lots of people need you.”

None of his words even register, you can only think about your imminent future. The fight you’d got in seems suddenly inconsequential. “I don’t want to be alone, will you just stay until-”

“We’re leaving,” Joel drags you to your feet, presses a hand to your middle to stop the bleeding, and you feel the pain for the first time. It’s such a shock – so intense and all-consuming that you cry out. “I know, I know, I know…” he says, and his voice breaks into panic. 

“I should’ve never fucking let you go,” you’re not sure if he’s talking about you walking away from him earlier, or something else. Joel is half-carrying, half-dragging you along – so dizzy and disoriented you can’t move your legs, vision fading in and out. Joel stumbles over the uneven terrain towards his horse. 

“Please-” just let me be, you want to croak, but the words don’t come out. You think of everyone you’ve lost – Sarah. Vincent. Bea. All the others. What had it felt like for them, before it happened? 

“No, no, don’t close your eyes,” you feel Joel’s  hand on the side of your face, and you blink them open – you actually didn’t remember nodding off. “Stay with me, now….please. Please.” 

The more he begs, the less you understand what’s making him so frustrated. The less you understand anything at all. You wish you could answer, but you can’t. You can feel your body going limp. “Come on, girl, don’t fucking do this to me,” you hear his voice, harsh and desperate, your body being shaken. 

Your vision comes in snippets– blood on your hands, on the slope of his neck, the canopy of trees above you, Joel’s eyes, wet with tears. 

You can’t understand why he’s crying, and you don’t get to figure it out. 

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