#and I had some other older friends come as moral support so that I'm not organising this alone)

[wherela]

It appears I'm on my way to become a youth leader. I completely wouldn't have expected this, but God works in mysterious ways I guess

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

hi sex witch! I (a teen) was talking with my friends (also teens) about sex, specifically hookups with people you aren’t necessarily romantically involved with. They said that as a teen that’s a bad idea, since hormones or whatever fuck with uour brain and cause an unhealthy obsession or smth we watched rocky horror immediately after and I forgot the details. Is that true? That sounds not true, teens have sex and oftentimes have sex with people they aren’t in relationships with, and I’ve literally never heard anything like that before they said it. Anyway, as a horny teen who wants to engage in some no-romance hookups I’d like to know if this would idk turn my brain to mush or whatever

hi there, friend,

listen: there is no existing age where sexual and romantic entanglements don't put people at risk of getting their feelings hurt if things don't go the way they hoped. that's not something you grow out of when you're done being a teenager; it comes free with being a person. a hot tip that nobody wants to talk about is that this also isn't exclusive to sexual and romantic relationships; caring about your friends or your family or your neighbors or your pets or anything at all comes with the potential to get burned because giving a shit is inherently vulnerable. and yet, we do it anyway! isn't that beautiful?

teenagers have a reputation for having very high drama relationships because most teenagers are experiencing a lot of firsts - first crush, first date, first relationship, first kiss, first partnered sex, first heartbreak, etc - and firsts are exciting and scary and engender a lot of big feelings. your that's quite understandable; everything is more stressful when you haven't done it before. as I'm shuffling towards 30, I find that the times I feel youngest are when I'm most uncertain and out of my element, because such a big part of being young is having a very limited frame of reference and no idea how to cope with a great deal of things.

(conversely, getting older mostly involves mellowing out because you know how to handle way more situations and solve way more problems than you did when you were younger.)

a lot of moralizing panic around teenagers' sexuality tries to paint teenagers being sexual as A Bad Thing Always, No Exceptions, and try to push the idea that teenagers just shouldn't be permitted any form of sexual exploration. I think that's bullshit, partly because it's impossible to actually enforce and mainly because denying sexual expression is deeply cruel, and also because the teen years are a really important window for practicing for adulthood. including intimacy! great time to practice intimacy, and I sorely wish every teenager had the space and security to comfortably explore with support from their guardians.

when I caution young people about sex, it's just to say that, yes, sex can sometimes cause new problems and new feelings that you don't know how to deal with. fear or anxiety or insecurity can make people say and do things that hurt them and others all the time, especially in intimate relationships, so be careful and do your research to cut down on the risks you can control (for instance: following safer sex practices, keeping your body clean and healthy, talking to partners about boundaries and emotional well-being). not every sexual or romantic partner has to be forever, but partnering with people you like, trust, and know how to talk to will make it easier and less scary to figure out what to do together if/when unexpected problems do arise.

being a thoughtful and communicative partner is GREAT skill to start practicing as early as possible, trust me - I get plenty of very grown adults in my inbox who are still figuring out how to do it.

in conclusion: there's nothing inherently dangerous about sex with someone who's not a romantic partner, just make sure you're picking people wisely and looking out for everyone's safety.

[weebsinstash]

As much as I want to have children by this man, let's take a moment to sip our platonic yandere Miguel juice

-i can't decide which sex he'd be more partial to in a 'child'/you since in the movie there was Gabriella but in the comics he eventually has a son who becomes the next Spiderman but--

-as a girl i just naturally think of a lot of those sorts of gender specific ideas 👉👈 he's this big scary hulking intimidating threat and his "daughter" is the one melting his cold exterior

-doesnt matter if you're a grown ass woman, Miguel sees you struggling to braid your hair and suddenly here he is, full dad mode, doing it for you,and depending on how close you two are, maybe he disguises it with "ugh, stop spending so much time messing around with that. If I do it for you will you get back to work? 🙄", but really it's just your new self proclaimed dad/tio wanting to help braid your hair and help you feel pretty and, oh, how he can fondly remember the last time he helped braid "his daughter's" hair...

-of course this evolves to him just loving to do things with your hair. Braid it, wear it natural, style it, use products on it, hes got you. you were just trying to put your hair in a lazy updo like a ponytail or bun and this man doesn't let you leave until he's got you completely combed out, hair braided with ribbons, and of course this entire time youre awkwardly sitting there in a chair in his absolute cave of a workstation with this gargantuan 6'9 man there, "so how was your day? Staying out of trouble?"

-really I mean. Is stealing other people's kids NOT technically in character for him. You're unfortunate enough to trauma bond with this man and you're never getting rid of him

-you hear Miles Morales call him tio (as in the tio meaning dude) and you jokingly teasingly start calling him tio, which Miguel secretly pretends is the version that means uncle. You're just constantly joking around or looking up at him with these big pouty eyes, "but tio 🥺 can't I PLEASE--" and its like. Lmao people know that if they need to ask Miguel for a favor, that it increases their chances to have you ask in their stead

- I mean, as a female adult abused as a child by my own father, raised by a single mom myself, like...

Reader flinches away when Peter B goes to give you a supportive pat on the back or comes in for a high five after a mission and you force yourself to laugh because you're feeling more than just a little awkward and in the spotlight. "Oh, sorry, that was dumb!" And they eventually get you to kind of anxiously word vomit "my dad used to just kind of, rough me up sometimes when I did something wrong! It-it could've been a lot worse honestly, but, it-it just makes me kinda jumpy around guys sometimes! It's not a big deal, or personal or anything. I'm sorry if I made you feel bad 🥺"

Peter B, Jessica, and Miguel all there as older parental figures and also literal parents, immediately exchange looks and agree like "oh hell naw, don't like that" and you get silently adopted by all three of em right then and there

-if it's a physically abusive father and you're still the victim of abuse, I imagine your dad had some suspicious figures suddenly show up in the middle of the night to terrify and threaten the shit out of him and suddenly you aren't getting as manhandled anymore

-can you imagine, like, you show up to Spider Society one day with a black eye "oh, this? It's, it's nothing. My dad is just, he's about to make police captain and he's really stressed about it is all" cue all your friends mentally high fiving around the table because your abusive piece of shit dad is going to die and you don't even know. When it happens they'll all be "oh no, sweetie, I'm SOOOO sorry :(" meanwhile they're thrilled bc now you don't have any parents and they can weasel in there as your new family, schedule your birthday parties, monopolizing more of your time, things like that

-goddd I just imagine it could become some kind of weird fucked up enmeshed scenario where the structure it's providing for your life is actually good for you meanwhile Miguel is like, retroactively kind of soothing some of his trauma both from his own childhood and what happened with the second universe he broke that it's just like. You're a grown ass adult and this man is tucking you in goodnight and saying "te amo, mija" at the doorway and you bet his ass is going to stand there and not let you sleep until you say it back. He knows you're just absolutely seething at him and he'll still refuse to leave without a grumbling "te amo, papá 🙄"

-He eventually just has you doing so much shit and depending on him so much that it starts to become second nature to you. one day you're in the Society doing one of the odd jobs you're allowed to help with and suddenly you're thinking, "Ugh I actually don't know what to do next, I wish Papá was here to-- WAIT SHIT NO I MEAN MIGUEL--"

-lmaooooo as a non Spanish speaker I keep thinking of how awwwwwful it would be if he actually forces you to learn Spanish. Not inherently because there's anything wrong with Spanish, but, I'm not always smart, and I can just SEE him quizzing your ass, forcing you to have entire conversations in Spanish, always clicking his tongue or chuckling at you when you make a mistake and he just thinks you're so cute struggling to learn 🥰 man hears you're trying to take extra lessons from Miles and he instantly drops everything he's doing to go track the little scamp down. Insert meme "I can forgive being an anomaly but I draw the line at teaching Reader bad Spanish"

-siiiiiiigh eventually the day comes when you're in big danger and you need his help, maybe you disobeyed him and was hanging out with some other Spiders in another dimension when there was a sudden villain attack, and he comes to your rescue as a villain does something dramatic like has a gun to your head or a knife to your neck and the second you see him you're just overwhelmed wirh a sense of relief, calling out for him, calling him dad/tio/papá whatever, and he's just like 😭❤️ pumping his fist internally, like YES you are so grounded when you get back home but also 🥰 you finally called him dad without him having to twist your arm 🥰 nevermind if the "villain" who kidnapped you was actually a Spider who owed him a favor, and this whole thing was to teach you a lesson about listening to your Papá, that's not important ❤️

-Miguel who forces you to learn Spanish vs Miguel who forces you to be Catholic. I can excuse kidnapping and forced adoption but I draw the line at making me practice religion 💀 no but seriously, he probably does have certain morals and values he instills/forces upon you if he thinks you need them, and he'll probably be one of those fathers, "are you leaving the house dressed like that? Go change" and orders you not to hang out with certain people he doesn't approve of or thinks have bad character (like hobie lmao)

-bruh you two will be on a super serious important mission and this man will be like "it's dark, hold my hand so we dont get separated"

Eventually it comes to a point where you're, not perfectly behaved but, just about. If someone finds Miguel, it means you're not very far away, or vice versa. Members of the Society quickly learn not to make any advances on you or make any "adult" comments unless they want to get suspiciously hurt during a personal training session by the big boss himself. You think you're safe just cause Miguel isn't around? Nah, cause then you have Peter B and Jess keeping an eye on you, and, not that YOU'RE aware of the extent, but, if Miguel ever gets worried, he can just ask Lyla what you've been getting up to, since your modified little daypass has her installed into it and she can track your every move ❤️ helicopter parent? Oh honey, you have NO idea...

[jewishvitya]

Tal Mitnick, an 18 years old Israeli that refused to serve in the military:

It's not just a couple of soldiers that are bad soldiers or that enact violent occupation on Palestinians, it's actually a whole system of violence. Of pulling people into the army and making them work for the occupation and for oppressing Palestinians.

Militarism in Israel is very entrenched in society. And the military is some golden goose that you're not allowed to touch. You're allowed to criticize the government, you're allowed to go out for gay rights, for women's rights. But when it comes to criticizing military action against Palestinians or other oppressed communities, this is totally out of the norm. You cannot speak against the military because it's so entrenched in society.

A lot of conversations start with the military, and because most people did serve, it's seen as this kind of thing that everyone needs to pass in order to become an Israeli.

So. Yeah. When you're older you don't feel ostracized as much because after a while it's less relevant to daily life. At least in my experience, I didn't serve and it's not really talked about much at this point.

In Jewish Israeli society, the military is trusted more than most other institutions. Tbh, more than any other institution I can think of. And it's seen as a right of passage. Some people will be okay with you if you volunteer for a social service instead - work at hospitals, schools, etc. Others think you shouldn't get the choice, and unless there's a medical issue you should be going to the military.

The narrative of self defense is absolutely believed, so by refusing to serve, those kids are seen as saying "I will enjoy the sacrifice made by others, but I will not contribute myself." It's seen as ungrateful. But that's if you don't express a moral objection to the military.

If you challenge the military itself, you're challenging Israeli society. And that's how it's taken. "I refuse to participate in the occupation" - "So you're saying I did something bad by serving. You're saying I'm a bad person." And when most of Israelis served in the military, and those that didn't serve often still support it or have loved ones that did or still do, this is challenging the moral character of pretty much all of us. Which, it should.

The military nurtures a mindset of dehumanization to a scary degree. I listened to a few interviews with stories from Breaking the Silence, an organization meant to bring to light the way the military abuses Palestinians, and there's something described by Yehuda Shaul.

He tells the story of serving in Hebron, in the West Bank, and he describes the daily stated mission of soldiers there.

While on patrol at night, they pick a random Palestinian house - explicitly one that they have no intelligence against, a civilian family - and they get in, wake the family up, separate men from women, search or something, get on the roof, jump to the next roof, get into that house, wake that family up, treat them the same way.

Again, at random. And he described two goals for this:

One, to create the feeling of being persecuted, and two, to make our presence felt.

They want Palestinians to feel beaten down and powerless, and they want them to feel that the military is everywhere, so they're too scared to resist.

This isn't random rogue soldiers, this is what the military does there on a normal day. And he said it's impossible to treat a population this way without seeing them as less human than we are.

I don't know if I can just say that the military is another tool for indoctrination in addition to everything else it does. But as a kid, I had a left-leaning friend from the Tel Aviv area, and we'd argue a lot. Because you don't need to be a full on leftist to disagree very strongly with a teenage settler. And as I was going through the process of changing my mind, I saw him going through the same process in the opposite direction - he became way more right wing during his military service. He told me the stories of why, and all those stories did was make me feel like I don't even know this person. I wonder sometimes how many young people go through the same.

[xiaomainlmao]

Discussing the Fatui and the "war"

Disclaimer: Extremely long, badly put thoughts because I'm not sure how to word this

The more I think about it, the more questions I ask about the Fatui, their strengths, their ideals, and their leaders.

In the Capitano animated short that we just got, they just reinforced that only people of Natlan were being supported by the Night Kingdom during the war. Even those without Ancient Names were fully revitalised.

On the other hand, the Fatui didn't even have a single advantage- neither during the fight, nor after. And yet, under The Captain, they were willing to give their lives. The Captain's underlings fully supported, acknowledged and admired their Harbinger. They all were willing to give their lives for Natlan's cause.

After the archon quest, my friend asked "But why did the Tsaritsa just allow The Captain to abandon the final gnosis and fight for Natlan instead? How did The Captain get the right to drop the Tsaritsa's goals for another nation's?"

Is that how the Tsaritsa shows her love for her people? "She's a god with no love left for her people." And yet she's supposed to be the god symbolising love, like how the anemo archon symbolises freedom, electro archon symbolises eternity and so on. Maybe she's no longer a gentle god, but one that is only marching towards her goal? And the only way she shows "love" is by respecting the Harbingers' individual morales?

Mavuika said that the Tsaritsa won't give up, another Harbinger is probably on their way for the gnosis. The story of Natlan is not yet over, only Natlan's war is.

Another war is coming.

Or rather, it has "already begun".

The Tsaritsa, the Abyss, are they both after the "throne in the sky"? The one that Vennessa ascended to?

Actually wait, Varka wasn't the only one forgotten during Natlan... Vennessa was too. Isn't she originally from Natlan, a child of "lady Murata, the Lady of Fire"?

But I digress, else I'll end up talking about Mondstadt, especially Venti if I start now.

Back to the Fatui...

How are soldiers appointed to their Harbingers? If they're appointed randomly, wouldn't some of them feel out of place if their ideals don't match their leader's? And if they get to choose, then how many would willingly choose each Harbinger as their leader?

There's Childe, the battle freak but with a strong morale when it comes to those he cares about (and the traveller has been added to that list too, so we know that Childe is likely to support us when we confront the other Harbingers).

There's The Captain, a man "worthy of respect" (Arlecchino) and with a great sense of justice.

There's The Doctor, a twisted scholar from the Akademiya. His "parts" live everywhere- in the past, present and the future.

There's The Knave, who raises orphans who are to join the Fatui when they're older. Does she receive recruits from outside the House of the Hearth as well? She's probably one of the few (if not the only) Harbingers to have members from outside Snezhnaya, due to her adopting children from all over Teyvat.

And so on and so forth...

Each Harbinger's ideals are respected by the cryo archon. All of them pursue their own goals, while also assisting in the Tsaritsa's grand scheme.

The Fatui members are either the most cunning, the cruellest, heatless being you'll meet, or the most determined, steadfast people you'll encounter.

Katarina, Victor, Lyudochka...

Hell even Lyney, Lynette, Freminet, and the other members of the Hearth that we met during Arlecchino's quest, the members that were allowed to leave the House of the Hearth by "dying".

Just what kind of organisation is the Fatui? How much more complicated are the relations within them? They clearly don't trust each other, so how will we trust anyone when we get to Snezhnaya? "A conflict with the Fatui is unavoidable the moment you step foot into Snezhnaya." We've both fought with (Natlan) and against the Fatui (Inazuma). We helped the Fatui in the Chasm, we helped Viktor in Mondstadt, but had The Fair Lady killed after a duel.

Will we, perchance, get to meet the Fontaine siblings + Arlecchino + Childe in Snezhnaya? Will The Captain's subordinates be on our side?

And what happened to The Balladeer's subordinates when he was erased from Irminsul? Were they randomly placed under various other Harbingers? How will they explain the absence of the 6th Harbinger?

So many questions... 😮‍💨

[superfan44]

Why Sora Should be Treated the Same as Superman (An Opinion Piece)

As I get older, I'm able to look at various fictional characters more closely, understanding more about why they're so iconic. A few years ago, I gained a renewed interest in the Kingdom Hearts franchise, seeing why so many people love its story, characters, and of course, its crossover element with Disney and Final Fantasy. I want to take a little look at the franchise's main protagonist, Sora, shed a light on him if you will. I feel you could draw some similarities between him and the DC Comics hero Superman (aka Kal-El, aka Clark Kent).

Now, I know this may seem like an odd comparison to some of you, but personally, I think it does kind of make sense when you think about it. Obviously these two have very different personalities, backstories, powers, and motivations that drive them. However, both are kindhearted, optimistic heroes from humble beginnings, with a strong sense of justice and morality. Not to mention a desire to help others and do the right thing.

Their respective actions certainly speak for themselves on that front, as they each go about it in their own unique way. In the comic book All-Star Superman, one issue sees him fighting a group of lizard men invading from the Earth's core. Then, in another issue, we see him stop a depressed teenage girl from stepping off a building, giving her comfort and support. Yes, he's got super strength and godlike powers, but he's also considerate, compassionate, and gentle enough to offer a helping hand whenever needed. Superman is a hero who inspires the best in all of us. He is, as filmmaker James Gunn once put it, kindness in a world that sees kindness as old fashioned. Even though he lives on a planet he wasn't born on, he still aspires to bring hope to that planet, providing them a light to show the way. Krypton made him the man of steel, but Earth made him human.

There are moments in the Kingdom Hearts series where we see a bit of that kindness mirrored in Sora as well. One minute he would be cutting down Heartless with his keyblade, the next he'll be enjoying good times with his friends, old and new. Whether it's dancing around with Rapunzel in the Kingdom of Corona, visiting Winnie the Pooh and his pals in the 100 Acre Wood, or helping to make Boo laugh in Monstropolis. He protects the world order and fights against the forces of evil, but he's also having fun along the way. There's a playfulness to Sora, a big smile on his face that warms people up inside. He's a brave young man who can easily form connections with anyone he comes across. There are still hardships to face, but he perseveres through it, showing that deep down, there is a light that never goes out. Even when it seems like he's on the verge of giving up, his friends are there to inspire him and lift him back up, just as he had done for them. He follows his heart, which is, and has always been, his guiding key.

You could say that these similarities are due to the fact that Sora and Superman are very much archetypal heroes. Joseph Cambel's hero's journey cycle (which also heavily influenced Star Wars) can be seen in both of their respective journeys. Individuals from humble beginnings who venture out into the wide world ahead of them, encountering various allies, enemies, and obstacles along the way. The journey ultimately leads to the heroes gaining greater powers and becoming more than who they were before.

It's also worth noting that another thing Superman and Sora have in common is that sometimes they are both willing to take great risks in order to save the people that they love. In Superman: The Movie, the man of steel himself flies around the Earth at great speed, turning back time to save Lois Lane from an earthquake. In Kingdom Hearts 3, Sora uses the power of waking to bring back Kairi after her body was destroyed by Xehanort, sacrificing his own life in the process.

So, why do I bring all of this up? Because I believe that this is something that writers should keep in mind when tackling Sora, whether it's for fan fiction, comics, novels, etc. I've noticed this trend on the internet of people deconstructing the psychology of Sora and delving into the negative effects that his adventures have had on him. A few of them have even declared his optimism and playful smile as a form of "toxic positivity". While it does seem like an interesting idea, I feel like it's causing people to forget about why they love him in the first place. In some cases, there are those who end up going too far with that notion.

Not long ago, I stumbled upon a Kingdom Hearts fan fiction story titled Keys to the Kingdom. Basically, it reads as an alternate universe reimagining of the events of Kingdom Hearts 3. Even though it was well written, this version of the story gets extremely dark, depressing, and cynical. Not only that, but it also mistreats Sora in a somewhat disturbing way, portraying him as a tortured and tormented soul. While his arc in this does prove to be compelling at times, it was still very jarring, making for an overall unpleasant experience. The fic seemed to be so focused on beating this character down, so intent on having him suffer throughout, that it ends up losing sight of what makes him so endearing and likable. Or, to borrow a quote from the young keyblade wielder himself:

"You're so caught up in finding the shadows, you forgot about the light that cast them."

This doesn't feel too out of place with the "evil Superman" trend that was around for a period of time. The video game Injustice is a prime example of this, as it depicts Superman as a merciless dictator of a fascist regime, who rules with an iron fist and shows no compassion towards crime or his enemies. Even other creations like Homelander from The Boys and Omni-Man from Invincible are representations of this idea since they are basically evil Superman-types. Admittedly, I do give those two a little more leeway since they were made specifically for the stories they came from. They are not directly related to Superman other than having similar powers. Although this concept can be fun to tackle with an original character, I don't think it feels right to try to do it with the genuine article himself. That's not really who he is.

When making the first Superman movie back in 1978, director Richard Donner took it upon himself to do the big blue boy scout justice. He didn’t want the material to be treated with disrespect, nor to be seen as a joke. There's a word he used to emphasize this as a top priority: "verisimilitude". For those unfamiliar, the basic definition of it is the appearance of being true and real. Not only was that word hung up on the wall above Donner's office (which it was), but it also established the mission statement that many of the great superhero movies made in the years since then have followed:

Be truthful, honor the source material, believe in it, take it seriously.

This is the type of mindset that should be adopted by anyone who adapts any kind of preexisting work, especially when it comes to something like Kingdom Hearts. If you want a good example of how to write Sora in a way that showcases how great he is while also being faithful to who he is, there's another fan fiction story titled Starbound, created by my friend @skygent. An anthology with an overarching narrative mixed in, it uses the setup of Sora's disappearance at the end of Kingdom Hearts 3 as a way to examine the impact that he's had on all of his friends and allies. In a deeper, meta sense, it offers an analysis of the connection that fans of the franchise itself have formed with him.

The stuff that has been written so far for this fic is absolutely amazing. In fact, it's what led to my renewed interest in Kingdom Hearts in the first place. It has pretty much what you would want in a story like this one. Balancing a sense of scale, mystery, and adventure, but also quiet reflection. Offering some fun little twists, but still retaining the core essence of what the source material is all about. Through this story, we see various characters (including some not featured in the games) learning of and reacting to Sora's disappearance, remembering their encounters with him in the past. Some of them are even inspired to try and figure out where he is, willing to doing whatever it takes to help find him and bring him back home. Here, they demonstrate just how much he means to them, just as they all do to him.

To be clear, I'm not saying that Sora should stay exactly the same. In a series like Kingdom Hearts, we want to see those characters grow and evolve. With the things that Sora has experienced throughout the series, and with where we will find him at in Kingdom Hearts 4, it'll be interesting to see where he goes next. At the same time though, we also should remind ourselves that people love this character for a reason. As this young hero embarks on his newest adventure, he shouldn't lose what makes him who he is as a person. Instead of pulling him apart, I think Sora is someone who deserves to be celebrated. To be treated with dignity and respect, just as Donner did for the last son of Krypton. In the same way we've celebrated Superman over the years for what he stands for and represents, Sora should also be recognized in an equally similar way. Their respective core values and good morals, all the stuff that makes them heroes. It's these things that turned them into pop culture icons who remain with us to this day. It's why they will continue to be icons in the foreseeable future.

Two beacons, shining bright in the darkness. Never forget that.

[zivazivc]

I'm gonna take some time to digest and think about that comic before I come to a decision. The decision being whether to continue to support you or just leave you be.

If I decide to leave you be, just know that there are no hard feelings, okay?

You are on anon so I don't know if this is someone who I've talked to before, but either way, yes, no hard feelings. I completely understand. It's the internet, anyone can unfollow anyone for any reason, but also I know this is an uncomfortable topic and even triggering to some, and some people are just not here for that. I was contemplating posting it for a while for this reason.

I do kinda want to point out that the purpose was/is not to fetishize a relationship with a minor and I will never fetishize or glorify that ever. It's wrong and unhealthy even if there's no malicious intent present. (am pointing it out because I got a bunch of asks about it and I'm 🧍) But this is fiction, and I portrayed the scenes the way that I did mainly because I made the comic from Floyd's perspective and I wanted to get in his head and show what exactly he was feeling in that moment. If the end result makes you feel uncomfortable or "flustered" (I don't think I'm using the right English word) in a certain icky way, that was kind of the point and I believe should be a normal reaction from an adult.

I spent my high school years (normally 15-19yo, but it was more like 14-22+) living in a dorm in the country's capitol and I attended a vocational school for visual arts that is pretty notorious for having a drug problem (I'm talking about mostly weed) and being full of weirdos (students free and comfortable expressing themselves and experimenting with expressing themselves but weirdos is the used term lol). The dorm is also located very near the city's subcultural center (look up Ljubljana Metelkova if you want, it's kind of what I imagine the underground scenes the bandmates visit looking like) which is like a hangout place for subcultures like punks and metalheads and the lgbtq. Anyway coming from living my whole life in a rural village where I still played with toys to somewhere like that was an insane shock to me. I sometimes felt like a toddler around young adults in a big city. And it was whiplash for many other teens too, some of whom quickly fell into bad crowds and spiraled, often those who came from bad home situations or controlling parents (heck some even came from elementary schools already doing problematic things). The amount of rumors of things happening in that dorm and school (drugs, sex, messing around with older teens/adults, whatever)... (I'm not saying it was like a concerning percentage of students but it was happening) Some of these people who made some bad choices were and some still are my friends, some of whom still struggle with some things today and it's heartbreaking.

Anyway where I was going with this is that in high school I was always kind of the anti all of that (to the point it had the opposite effect on me where I didn't even try out the normal teenage things) and just thinking "what the fuck is wrong with these people?" And recently, when my headcanons for Floyd started going in the direction that they have, I started wondering the same thing. Just not in a judgemental way this time. More like I want to dissect this situation carefully and understand it from everyone's perspective and see what lead up to it. I've always been very fascinated by morally gray and dark fiction for this reason and this is right up that alley.

So yeah, this isn't for everyone, and I can't hold a grudge if anyone unfollows me for it. But what I'm doing here is inspired a lot by real life situations and my weird deep dives into articles about trauma and its effects (also pretty sure I'm also processing some of my own personal emotions through these blorbos but I am not going into that), and I feel like I'm taking a pretty realistic approach to it (if you ignore the fact that this is fucking Trolls). I'm just slowly exploring how a relationship between a teen who comes from a sheltered almost cultish upbringing (pop trolls live in a concentration camp and are dealing with the horrors by singing and enjoying every minute of their every day like life is a ticking time bomb) and a young adult who never got a chance to grow up because he never experienced a childhood and is suddenly being liked by someone for the first time in his life (I'll talk more about Les some other time), would develop into hopefully something okay for both of them. Because I do want them to both be okay in the end. And I'm sharing some of my brainworms online for anyone who's interested. I just can't share ALL of my brain worms and sometimes I forget that people don't have a view of what's going on in my head. Yeah... This answer became long for no other reason except that I can't sleep because I posted that comic, damn. That's what I get for dropping that bombshell on top of what was mostly fun "comedic" posts about the AU so far.

[grison-in-space]

You know, I was just thinking about the It Get Better Project. It rolled out when I was in college, and I distinctly remember my college Lambda Alliance* holding it with a certain level of sardonic, bitter cynicism. We were all pretty conscious of exactly how hard "it gets better" weighs when you're actively in the process of making it better. And that process can be heartbreaking. I was still under the impression that I could find out some way to come out to my parents that would make them want to listen to me and, like, give the tiniest shit about what I was feeling about anything. (The answer was no, but to be fair it's not like anyone gave the tiniest shit about what I felt before that either.)

I knew other people who had strained relationships with family, too. Or, well, we all lived in the South, and like all young adults we were considering whether we were going to flee to a more friendly state or what. The thing about interstate moves is that they're terrifying and expensive and have no guarantee of success, and that's never truer than when you aren't sure how much you can lean on a support network.

In 2010, there was this optimistic air that gay rights were just marching along with the passing of the years like an automatic rolling out of morality; it had been almost thirty years since the first traumatic shock of AIDS hit queer communities, and the enormous backlash against trans folks hadn't started to swing yet. To be honest, that's how that project landed. I mean, I know that as an ace twenty one year old, I'd never been all that impressed by Dan Savage. I never had any sense that anything was going to be better for me unless I rolled up my sleeves and took part in the collective labor of making it happen. And I remember talking to my friends at that Lambda Alliance about that.

It's hard to put your trust in things being sure to get better when you're actively putting in all the painful labor of making it better today, both by trying to advocate for other folks in your life and by changing things about yours. Like, how can you be sure "it will get better" when you're fighting for your family to accept you, and the thing that actually makes your life better is to stop trying? You have a lot more power as an adult, but sometimes all that means is the power to flee your home and become a wandering fugitive until you can find or make a new one. It's not the kind of thing you promise a kid, I thought then. But maybe I'm just too cynical.

So now I'm curious about people who weren't me. Bonus if you feel called to explain why.

*IDK, maybe we were all a pack of radicals? It was a state school in the South and at least four people at that time went on to careers of advocacy and activism; maybe we weren't representative? And I'm not counting me, but I've also published on queering biology, so... maybe I should, who knows.

[voiddaisy]

Rank the Batfam members based on how well you think you'd get along irl

This is so fun! Okay, so my idea of canon versus fanon is kind of messed up, but I'm going to do my best to go solely off of what I know is canon. I also went a little overboard and did some character study shit because when I tell you I love the bat family, I love the bat family.

(1) Duke Thomas. From what I know about canon, we are really alike. He has a strong moral compass, wants to help people, and can be super goofy and silly. He doesn't really take things super seriously, cares a lot about his family, and is not afraid to lie to Bruce, which I am a supporter of. I think overall we would get along the best just because we are so alike. He also just seems so chill and fun to be around, and I've made a post about this before, but he is so nonjudgmental when it comes to his friends and family, so nonchalant, and literally just the cutie patootie ever, so for sure him.

(2) Stephanie Brown. I love Steph and no one can take that away from me. She reminds me a lot of one of my sisters; She is very witty and humorous, and she is determined, stubborn, and compassionate. She tries to have a positive outlook on everything, despite everything she has been through. I think we would get along well because she is kind of my opposite in a lot of ways. She is outgoing, confrontational, and rebellious, but still vulnerable, caring, and selfless. We would kind of just be a slay duo in my opinion.

(3) Dick Grayson. If I didn't relate so much to Duke, I would definitely say I am the most like Dick. He is a perfectionist, very sarcastic, caring, and literally rocks "eldest daughter syndrome," which... same. He is also such an emotional person, and most of his emotions come out in anger because he doesn't know how to regulate them, which I can relate to. He has that personality that is so easy to banter with but also gets vulnerable, which we see a lot in the comics when it comes to his brothers. I just think our personalities would blend really easily together.

(4) Barbara Gordon. Barbara is literally that bitch. She is super intelligent, determined, hard-working, and responsible while also being empathetic, funny, independent, and wise. She takes so many of the bat kids under her wing as a mentor and tries to build them up to be better people (literally fixing what Bruce messes up). She is super funny and cool, is clearly intelligent without having to flex on it, and cares so deeply for people. If I had an older sister, I'd want her to be just like Babs, because this woman is literally gold. She isn't higher on this list just because I just connect with the other characters more, but she is still just such a good character and I love her so much.

(5) Cassandra Cain. I think I would get along well with Cass because she is a very complex person. She is silent, stoic, determined, responsible, deeply empathetic, and has self-esteem issues. I share a lot of these traits with her, but I'm more... outgoing than she is? So it would be like a bad bitch and her baddie friend situation where I am a yapper and advocate for us both when I normally wouldn't be. She'd encourage my more outgoing side to come out because of how stoic and quiet she can be. She is also like the better version of Bruce Wayne (sorry Bruce), where she still has that intense sense of justice and a strong moral compass, but because she cares so deeply about her friends and family, she puts them first, whereas Bruce kind of... struggles with that lmfao. That is just my interpretation of her, though!

(6) Jason Todd. I actually didn't plan on putting him this high on the list, but after I started typing it out, I was like... oh. I would get along with him better than I thought. Okay, so what annoys me about him is mainly his sense of justice, rebellious nature, complex moral code, and anger. However, these are all issues that stem from his insane trauma and aren't like natural-born traits of his. When he was Robin, he was very playful, witty, kind, and sweet, as a lot of people mention. Despite how he changed after the Lazurus Pit, we still see these personality traits slip through sometimes. He cares a lot about the street kids and does his best to mentor them. In the Gotham Knights cames (which apparently aren't canon but I don't care), he can be very vulnerable and kind to his brothers instead of... beating Tim half to death. Jason is a very emotional character with loyal and protective instincts, and he desires redemption so deeply that he doesn't care how it is acquired. His complexity is what makes me drawn to him, I think. To recognize him as a person who is deeply traumatized and needs positive reinforcement in his life is easy; To give that positive reinforcement is harder. But I think I could offer that to him (and I have the "I can fix him" mentality. Would I be able to fix him? No. Could I be a good friend to him? Maybe). My major qualms with him would be his skewed sense of justice and his moral code; Everything else is like typical emo behavior haha.

(7) Tim Drake. I did not expect Tim to be so low on this list, but I guess it's more of a little brother-type situation. Tim is very intelligent, analytical, determined, empathetic, and compassionate. He shares a lot of traits with Dick, where he is a natural kind of leader and has a deep resourcefulness to him. He can be very self-critical and lacks a need to take care of himself, but he is a team player and can be very responsible. He is also just kind of like... the funniest bat brother to me. It's his sarcasm and the way he picks on people, I think. While he is a good character, I just think I would get frustrated with his stubbornness very quickly. He also just has that little brother attitude that gets on my nerves. But I do think that I would be like a big sister figure to him if that makes sense? Like "you love to hate them" type of shit.

(8) Damian Wayne. Okay, to preface; Damian is just a deeply traumatized kid, so my reservations are literally just about that. I have what you would call a chronic need to fix people, and Damian would just be so easy for me to try to fix, even if I knew I couldn't. He has a skewed sense of justice, like Jason does, but is easier to convince not to kill people. He is stoic, cold, can be emotionless at times, and does not want people to take care of him. I saw some panel yesterday about Dick trying to comfort him after Bruce dies, and Damian is so choked up and doesn't want to speak about it, despite Dick being his older brother. Damian has literally been trained since birth to focus on his mission, his feelings be damned, and I would have such a hard time with that. I would just get so emotional over him and want to take care of him, and he would hate that. I just think that he wouldn't like me very much. I love Damian as a character and I love how complex he is, but he would not love me lmfao.

(9) Bruce Wayne. I knew Bruce was going to be last because there is a special place in my heart reserved for my beef with parents who fuck up their kids. Even though Bruce tries to be a good father to his kids, he is just so shit at it sometimes, and it makes me so mad. In my real life, any time my parents fuck with one of my sisters, I get so irrationally angry and want to fist-fight them. If I was around Bruce and his traumatized children, I would want to throw hands with him every time I saw him. I know that deep down, Bruce is a really good man who just wants to help people, but the way he treats his children literally just boils my blood. I would get along with him if he either didn't have children or had some deep-rooted therapy to fix his emotional constipation. I mean... we would get along fine I'm sure, I would just always have that rage, you know?

This was way longer than I intended it to be, but I have been doing so much character study lately about these people and wanted to share my opinion on each of them in a broader way. If I messed up their character in relation to DC canon... oh well. Also, I know Jason Todd is a little bitch, but he is my little bitch, so it's fine.

Thank you for the ask <3 this was so fun!!

[farasen]

Marlon analysis + adult headcanons

It's Marlon analysis that wasn't supposed to be an analysis baby

I think we all noticed that Marlon doesn't really have an inner conflict in the series. Moreover, he's usually the one who helps to solve these conflicts or supports other characters.

S1E3 - he's coming up with the concept for their logo, an image of their team. S2E6 - finds a guy to replace Vanessa for the game, and is just being a nice guy that can befriend an enemy (honestly this episode feels more about Kong or even Vanessa rather than Marlon). S2E11 - pretty much the only episode we see some sort of inner conflict in him, but it concerned the whole team, and again Marlon saves the day.

We don't see him angry that much either, older Wessel is trying hard to be the voice of reason. He's always the backbone, which kinda makes me wonder - does he suppress his emotions?

I've already talked about it a few times before, but I'm gonna mention it again for the full picture, but if you wanna read more you can go to this post. Wessels grew up without mother (at least we don't get a peek or even mentioning of her) so he, as an older brother, he most likely had to take care of Leon, growing up faster as a result. Marlon is just used to the role of protector, the backbone.

I saw people saying Marlon has a saviour complex, but I don't really agree with that. He does have some tendencies, but doesn't go full on white knight mode. You see, Marlon's help is not intrusive, he doesn't see his solution as the only right one and he doesn't seem to feel too much guilt when something doesn't work or at least it wasn't shown. He's just being a nice, reasonable guy most of the time.

What he does seem to have problems with is setting boundaries, especially with Leon. This was shown in s1e8 when Leon pushes Marlon to the ground. Sure, Marlon was shocked and didn't react properly in the moment, but they don't talk that through later either. And we rarely see him angry, even when he has a right to be.

He also might struggle with talking through his feelings. I don't have any proof of that from the show, but the fact that none of his episodes are actually about him is pretty concerning.

Gotta say that Marlon's moral compass is pretty clear. He wants justice (Kong in s2e6 and Leon in s2e12), he's forgiving (again Kong in s2e6 and Leon in s1e8) and supportive (basically every episode except for s1e4).

Honestly, there's nothing else I can say about Marlon as the show doesn't give any information about him. It's more interesting to talk about the possible outcomes of his behavior, which is exactly what I'm going to do further.

First of all, he would have to find his self worth. He's always been there for others, and not only for his little brother, but also for his friends. However, Leon grows older, he learns how to deal with his shit (I hope) and no longer requires a backbone in the face of his brother. Other friends don't need him that much either, they can help themselves. So, that leaves Marlon with nothing to work with. And that's the moment I think he might develop a saviour complex, because he wants to feel needed or helpful at least.

As I've mentioned before, he's most likely suppressing his emotions, which will obviously have an impact later. There could be different outcomes, from anger management issues to self harm. Or both. Whatever suits you more. I, personally, find the idea of Marlon lashing out on his friends when they break the boundaries unintentionally, but later blaming himself for that pretty appealing.

What else he can develop is depression and/or anxiety. That, again, steams from identity issues and troubles of finding his place. Moreover, that could slightly fuck up his relationships with others, cuz he would gradually drive himself away from others. And, since Marlon hadn't learnt or never felt the need of learning how to express his own emotions, his friends wouldn't be able to help him. Thus, he'd have to find a way to help himself.

And, in my opinion, the thing that would help Marlon would be art. We've seen him being creative when designing a logo for dwk, so maybe painting or creating a music would be a way of expressing himself, putting those emotions on the canvas and finally finding his own "I".

Yeah that's all I wanted to say about Marlon. It was supposed to be a sleepy rant on his adult version, but it turned into this lol.

Here, have some funny shots of him

[jesse-cosay]

because they’re running out of time

Mikaylake

I am kissing you so, so gently on the nose. Also sorry it's kind of different from the prompt but this is what came to mind and I won't have internet for long!

It hadn't been their intent.

Lake had come to Minnesota with the plan to meet Tulip again. To reintroduce theirself with their name and their best friend. By all means it should have been straightforward- easy.

Except, of course, nothing was ever easy. Or smooth. Not when it came to Lake.

So when Mikayla opened the door instead of Tulip- well. It was safe to say they panicked.

They'd always had a crush on Mikayla. She was- cool was the only word that came to mind as they looked at her. Wide-eyed and dead silent.

She had piercings, the type that Tulip's parents had always cringed at. Mikayla was kind, too. Not afraid to approach the weird kid with her nose pressed to the computer glass. Often she would look at Tulip through her reflection on the screen.

Lake liked to pretend that Mikayla was looking at them. Telling them to hurry up and finish because she had a funny story about her older sister again or- or whatever Tulip and Mikayla talked about. Lake was finding it hard to remember what exactly they used to say, now that Mikayla was before them.

In her defense, she was handling the whole metal thing well. Better than anyone else had as far as Lake was concerned.

It was sweet. Cute. The way her eyebrows furrowed as if she was trying to make sure she wasn't the one miss-seeing things. How her lips pursed in thought before she spoke. "You're the one that Tulip-"

Lake's stomach did summersaults. Mikayla knew them. She knew them!

"Lake. I'm Lake." They blurted, knowing their face had to be some disgustingly splotchy gray color with how it burned. Mikayla knew their name. They'd said it to her. She was looking at them. Really looking at them.

There was a voice-

Tulip's voice. Calling for Mikayla from upstairs.

Lake had knocked on the door willingly. Ready to face her. But seeing Mikayla- Mikayla recognizing them- it was already so much to take in.

They reached toward Mikayla as she turned to reply to Tulip. Grasping the collar of her shirt and yanking her forward jerkily.

Lake couldn't have Tulip coming down. Not while they were such a mess, trying to compose theirself. They'd only meant to stop Mikayla.

In her surprise she turned back to them, and they crashed into each other. Lake vaguely registered that their faces were touching, beneath all the embarrassment and horror.

They pushed her away, nearly falling over in the process. Mikayla caught herself on the door, looking just as shocked as Lake was sure they did.

"You-"

"Lake!"

They turned, running towards Jesse's voice. He'd been hiding nearby for moral support, but now he was Lake's saving grace as they tripped over their own feet.

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" They called back, waving at Mikayla as if to convey how much they had not intended to kiss her and knock her over. "Oh my god-"

Jesse pulled them into the bush with him, clearly biting down his laughter. "And you thought me kissing a mirror was bad!"

"I thought you said that was someone else."

He did not take Lake's bait. All too pleased with this shiny, new thing to hold over their head. "Seriously, that was sad."

Lake sighed, listening to the distant mumbles of Mikayla and Tulip at the door. Screwed. They were so screwed. "... Do you think they'll believe me if I say it's some sort of reflection-defensive reflex?"

"Not a fucking chance."

Maybe meeting Tulip could wait for another year.

[blackjackkent]

how about 8, 11, and 20 from the group questions section of the OC Asklist?

(OC Asks: Put Those Guys in Situations!)

I'm not sure which group you/the prompt had in mind, so we're going with a scenario of all my OCs somehow isekaid into the same situation, because I think it'd be funny. XD

8. Your characters have been invited to a fancy dress ball, and their costumes must fit a group theme. What do they wear?

The group immediately sorts out into three categories:

a) So excited, psyched to come up with a theme: Philip, Riley, Daniel, Dom, Caden, Joan

b) Meh, will do whatever the group deems appropriate: Matty, Jaksa, Randa, Hector.

c) Would rather do literally anything else: Jenna, Adi, Elliot, Hayden.

Group A comes up with a very nice theme of everyone in black and deep jewel tones of each person's favorite colors, super coordinated, gorgeously designed, everyone looking their best. The whole group wears it without complaint, except Joan, who (despite having been super into the planning) decides at the last minute to show up instead in a skimpy spangly number slit all the way up to her hip just to fuck with everyone, and she and Jenna almost get into a fistfight in the entrance hall.

11. Your characters are sharing stories around the fire. What story does each character tell? Whose story is the most popular?

All of them have lots of adventures to share from their respective universes. Some of them are... definitely better storytellers than others. Jenna and Hector in particular flat out refuse to participate, each claiming that they're no good at telling stories. Joan makes up an outrageous tall tale. Most of the others are pretty sincere though not flashy, telling some minor adventure while knowing deep down that there are much worse things they could speak about. Dom tells some hilarious misadventure with incredible detail and has everyone howling.

20. Your characters are trapped in a joint dream or simulation that recreates their greatest fears. They can only escape if each one of them faces their fear. What are these fears? How do they overcome them? Who overcomes theirs first, and who takes the longest?

Oh man. I was gonna avoid writing one out for every char cos I have quite a collection at this point and I knew it'd take forever, but this is pretty juicy and I can't resist indulging myself. Let's see.

a) Jenna> A room full of the burning corpses of her friends. Overcome through major support from the others in the group; oddly enough the only person who is really able to get through to her is Matty, the older marine, who does not try to reassure her that everything is all right, but simply reminds her quietly (hating the words as he says them) that she has pushed through worse.

b) Matty> The blue light of the Reaper hive mind. Faced as he faced it in real life, with pistol shots directly into the source until the way is clear. Everyone is mildly surprised given how cerebral he is in other contexts.

c) Philip> The room is CRAWLING with bugs of all sorts, all sizes. This one is almost a relief after Jenna's corpse room, but everyone quickly realizes that just helping him squash them all isn't the answer. Philip, in the end, sits in the center of the room and makes very unhappy noises while letting them crawl harmlessly around on him, while Hector and Adi sit next to him for moral support.

d) Jaksa> Something very similar to the DAO gauntlet - a reunion with Tamlen, only it's the blighted version of him with darkness pouring out of his face. She tries multiple times to lash out at this vision and the room simply resets, only allowing them passage when she does not strike but instead waits; the bleak vision drifts closer, lays its mutilated hand against her cheek for a moment and then vanishes.

e) Riley> An empty, bleak, blank Hightown mansion, devoid of family, devoid of life. All lost, all gone... The others sit at the table with her, eat a meal, help fill the space with voices again where it has been empty for so long.

f and g) Adi and Dom get roughly the same room, one right after another. Adi's is an enormous Chantry building, full of people all watching her and bathed in glowing light from an indistinct figure in a throne at the far end. Dom's is exactly the same, but no one is there, no one is watching, and the throne is empty. In both cases the place seems to ask of them only that they look steadily at the possibility and then walk forward nevertheless.

h) Daniel's room is bleeding darkspawn taint from the walls, which close in slowly on all sides while a distant young boy's voice screams at him - "You can't die, Father! You can't leave me alone!" Leaving aside his greatsword he smashes the blighted wall open with his own fists, opening a path beyond. Hector, insightful as he is, asks, "The boy screaming. Was that your son? Or you to your own father?" Daniel doesn't answer.

i) Elliot faces down an enormous rage demon, and alone of all the group does not seem surprised, just angry and tired. Without even waiting to consider the matter, he steps forward, slams his staff straight through the creature and then sets off an explosion within it, sending bits of ectoplasm slapping into the walls. "That didn't take you long," Jenna says dryly. "I've had a lot of practice; I fight it every night in my dreams," he answers.

j and k) Hayden and Randa's rooms are also similar - massive, high-ceilinged ornate places full of mocking, laughing voices. Jenna offers to beat the shit out of all the onlookers calling Hayden "knife-ear" and Randa "ox", but neither of them agrees. Randa just points out, in her morose, taciturn way, that it is better not to acknowledge them; the door opens for her as she stalks through the hall looking straight ahead. Hayden, vibrating with rage, says they don't matter, and the way to move on is to prove she is better than any of them ever were. Whether the room agrees or not is unclear, but when she stalks to the dais at the front of the hall and burns a Grey Warden symbol into the wall with magic, the door opens for her.

l) Joan, like Elliot, is greeted by the demon that dogs her - the desire demon that latched onto her when she came to Kirkwall, and that she thought she left behind when she left the city. Astonishing everyone, she - usually so cocky - goes completely blank and almost seems to panic. The demon just laughs. "You don't have it as easy as the others," it purrs. "There is no easy way to face me down, because deep down, I'm not what you fear, I'm what you want." It vanishes, the door opens. Everyone is somehow more rattled by this than anything else.

m) Caden's room is like another of Irenicus's dreams - he faces a blank-faced man that morphs into the Slayer, which scares the shit out of Hector. The only way out is to beat it into submission, just as he always has before within his own mind - but when they kill it, the room resets. The true answer is to hold it down as his friends once held him in a moment of transformation, to wait for the anger to bleed from it until it fades away.

n) Hector's room is, again, something of a relief after some of the past ones. He has many, many things he can think of fearing, but is instead presented with a giant red dragon which opens its mouth to shoot a burst of flame into his face. At first he panics, but, roused by the presence of the others around him, he forces himself forward and leaps onto its back instead. The others follow suit and the dragon leaps into the air and carries them free of the prison.

[evelhak]

📚

I'm back with talking about my books.

💜Kaapin nurkista♠️

(from the corners of the closet)

Published: 2022 by Nysalor

Genre: Young Adult, LGBT+, Fiction

My second published book, and so far the only realistic one, which was written in 2016. Mostly when I should have been writing my master's thesis. This one was written before Unitytöt, although it was published later. To be perfectly honest, I was not going to publish it, because back when I was first looking for a publisher, everyone's reply was that a book about asexuality won't sell, and as time went on I started to feel like it isn't what it was meant to be when it was written, anymore. So even if I did find a publisher for it, it would no longer be as timely and relevant as it was, because attitudes towards asexuality were changing and therefore the experiences of teenage and 20-something asexuals, whose lives this book is about, would be changing too. However, the publisher who picked up my first book, saw a description of this work on my website and wanted to publish it, so I ended up agreeing in the end. After all, this book would still be relevant to asexuals of my own generation as a retrospective look at the atmosphere of our teenage and early twenties, so if it would be relatable to no one else, at least it would be to us. I reframed it a little, to be set in a specific year (2011) which it wasn't at first, but I felt it was important now, so that people would be able to go into it with slightly more of a historical fiction lens, because it really only makes sense when being looked at from its specific time frame.

This is the story of a 17-year-old high school student Jaro, who was forced out of the closet as early as in middle school, when no one knew what asexuality was. His strongest moral support is his best friend Venla, who is still a closeted lesbian, most of all because of her judgemental girl group. Jaro has been able to live a relatively quiet life in high school apart from one bully, until things escalate and Jaro gets the blame for his own bullying. Venla encourages Jaro to go to an ace meet to find people who could share his experiences, and Jaro makes a new friend who steers both of their lives in new directions. It's a book about the experiences of an invisible minority, loneliness and bullying, as well as the belonging and empowerment of being seen by someone. Some of the book also deals with sexual abuse in a way that might be intense to some, though not graphic.

When I first wrote this book, there were no novels about asexuality in Finnish, and I felt strongly that someone had to write the first one, which is why this is written as an "issue" book. Asexuality is its main subject, instead of including the queer narrative as just another element of the story, which is more popular these days. In fact, it was already going to that direction in 2016, but I felt that asexuals had completely missed the train of books about asexuality. (As well as other less visible queer people.) Aces were only starting to gain visibility when more well known queer identities were already moving from books about queerness to books where queerness is a factor. But asexuality still wasn't well known enough that it would have felt natural for me to skip the "issue book" stage of development, so to speak. The fact that even in 2022, when this book was published, it was still probably the first or the second Finnish book about this subject, kind of speaks for itself, although more books about asexuality did come out that same year, which is amazing! There are also many aro-spec characters in this book, as well as some other queer characters.

In the end, I'm really glad I decided to publish this book. I've had the pleasure to witness that it really was a meaningful story to many asexual people, some that were also much older or younger than me. And some who were not even asexual. I think the craziest thing I've heard said about this book is that "it was better than Loveless". I don't really care about being "better than" because art is subjective, but in that exact context it was one of those moments that made me feel like... "Woah, I'm a real author". Because I love Alice Oseman's work, so to think that someone thought my book was as real as the book of someone famous who I admire, was some moment. The criticism this book has gotten has been a lot more along the lines I was expecting. Because it's a description of what queer life was as a teenager in the early 2010s, the characters get really preachy sometimes. Because that's how it was. I knew some people would not enjoy that aspect of the book. And in general, my books are never the cup of tea of the readers who don't like to focus on relationships and introspection, too. A criticism I was actually really surprised by was that the book is too "othering". At first I felt like that was such an interesting way to look at a book that is largely about the feeling of otherness. But then I realized... this criticism is actually the best comment that I could have possibly heard. Because I only heard this from people younger than me, and if the feeling of otherness is not relatable to young people, then... that's AMAZING. That's the best thing I could ever have hoped to hear from young queer people. That means society really is changing.

As happy as I am that some people have gotten exactly what they seem to have needed from this book, my own feelings towards it remain complicated. Because it's doing so much better than my fantasy books, which are my long-term passion, not realistic fiction. This is the only one of my books to have been featured on the national news channel's TikTok, and it's also the only one that was selected on a government funded list of small distribution quality literature, which allows libraries to purchase books from that list more easily to diversify their selection. It makes no sense for me to feel disappointed about this at all, but I do a little. As unknown as I am, all exposure matters, and I would rather have it for my fantasy books. (People reading my realistic fiction book evidently doesn't automatically lead them to look for my fantasy books.) This book is something I wanted to do for the asexual community, and as such it has done its job, and of course for that I'm glad that it has a little bit more exposure than my other work. But as an author, my priority is not realistic fiction, so. *shrug*

I still want to write about more asexual characters and contribute to the better understanding of different kinds of experiences, including asexuals. Community and trying to bridge gaps between people is always going to be one of the driving forces behind why I write, but realistic fiction is just not the main way in which I want to do it. I'm a fantasy and/or a speculative fiction author, because that's just my natural style, and writing realistic fiction always feels like shoving rectangular pieces into round holes for me. As much as I love Jaro and Venla and other characters in this book, I sometimes hated writing their story. I have sometimes jokingly said that I would rather invent an entire magic system to make one plot point work, than I would Google if a shop is open at a time my characters need to visit it, or how long it takes to drive from one city to another, but with this book I felt so often that it was literally true!

Still, I love all my books.

[first-only]

Saw the Earn it act was back and had to pour myself a Jack and Coke

It feels like everything is just getting worse, I'm not even American, but whatever effects them effects us all (especially when it comes to the internet), let's be honest.

You've been alive longer than me (I presume anyway) how do you deal with shit like this?

Back in college I had to do a pretty standard research paper on some personality characteristics, mostly to teach us the basics of statistics and gathering subjects and the like. What really surprised me back then was that on the Resilience scale, older people scored much higher than younger on average. I had to analyze my results for the prof so I actually turned to my parents for a clue how to interpret this – afterall all my life I had witnessed the absolute dramatic reaction to social change mostly from older people and the full acceptance from younger on average. What my parents accurately caught and I didn’t was that Resilience is not necessarily your reaction to /change/ but to /tragedy/. Younger people didn’t see queerness for example as a horrible social development so they had no trouble accepting it. While older people on average have lived through many more personal and societal Bad Times, so they had built up more Resilience and thus scored higher (while of course still keeping some moral outrage for *some* things lol).

Of course a key point here is that /correlation is not causation/. Not all older people are more resilient, not all younger people are less, resilience is not necessarily built through living through and witnessing tragedy. You can’t take these things as Law, more as likelihood.

My point here is that there will /always/ be some bad things happening around you, and some will actively affect you, some will even happen *to* you. Life is one thing after the other and sometimes they overlap as the tumblr post goes. At some point you just learn to live with it. This too shall pass, it won’t always be like that, etc. Key here is that.. life just. Goes on. Yes the internet has been changed drastically and it will change again. Politics, personal life, friends’ lives, family. It will always be something and life will always go on. Even if your mundane everyday life is marred by tragedy, you will still have to eat, and sit around, and see the sky, and have a moment to just look around. Those small mundane things make our everyday and carry us through any horrible background.

And I know, I *know* this sounds like a ‘you get used to it’ or desensitization, but it’s more of ‘we will live, and we will see’. If you give all of your mental energy to the current crisis, and the one after, and the one concurrent, you *will* burn out. I’m not saying ignore everything and bathe in apathy, activism is a noble cause and it actually helps a lot of people deal with the emotional crisis of tragedy. But even if you dedicate your life to helping, you still have to learn self-regulation and personal detachment skills. Throwing it all in one thing will you leave you empty for the next. Especially when it comes to grand and immaterial causes like net neutrality, that are fought less in the streets by common people and more in courtrooms by experts (that do need support still), emotional burnout will not let you deal with personal and smaller issuer where you can actually actively help and make yourself feel better.

Don’t forget the good things. Paying attention to everything means also seeing the good around you. Be it globally and internationally or personally, even the mundane everyday things, the building blocks of reality. Of course we can’t be unaffected, but the positive needs to counteract the negative or we’re headed straight for an emotional crisis. Have a jack and coke, complain and vent to friends, escape reality in creativity or games or media. But don’t drown the negative, just remember, *life goes on*. Even if the law passes, we will see tomorrow again. There’s a 12 feet ladder for every 11 feet wall. The ways might be different, might be more complicated, but there’s always a way. You will have another jack and coke some day, and then again. There will be a controversial law again someday, and then again. We will try our best to do what we can about it, and then we will sit down and have dinner with our families. Tragedies will always happen, but we need the good to feed our fight with the bad. We need the stepping ladder, the foundation, of the mundane to go on with the extra. Change is gradual and humans are adaptive. You get out of bed, and tomorrow comes, and you get food, and meet people, go to bed again. Day to day. Support this cause or the other, fight in what little way you can. Take care of yourself and don’t let fear paralyze you. Be aware and know where we’re headed but don’t let the road crumble beneath you even before you’ve stepped on it. One thing at a time but all happen all together in the great scheme of things. Step by step. It’s okay. We’ll be okay.

[uncle-fruity]

Also, like... I get that there is a lot of anxiety about being seen as morally good & fighting for everyone at every turn, but! Crucially, the people who try to guilt trip you or judge you off your Tumblr presence don't fucking know you. They don't know what you do off Tumblr. They may not know any other social media that you DO use for your politics and heavy posting. And, tbh, at a certain level of offline activism & direct action, it is actively dangerous for you to be posting about what you do online, so a perceived lack of interest or dedication online does not necessarily translate to the efforts you put in to causes you care about.

Fact of the matter is, YOU are the only one who knows what you get up to. If it's not as much as you think you should be doing, that's for you to assess and change. If you feel like you're doing enough, or if you feel like taking on more responsibility in activism would overwhelm you or burn you out, that's okay! You know your limits better than anyone else. You get to set your priorities. And if you really want to help with social justice causes, you HAVE to take care of yourself. Anger, fear, and guilt are not sustainable motivations to drive a movement. You NEED places to relax and have fun and not think about how bleak things can get. You NEED to have places to retreat, enjoy yourself, and remind yourself that it's all worth fighting for.

I know this, because I'm in my 30s now. When I was in my early 20s, I was friends with a lot of folks who went hard during the Ferguson protests, and while many of them are still active in their activism, almost none of them are operating on the same level as they used to. All of them are burnt out & depressed. I spend a lot of my energy urging them to take care of their most basic needs. We also have a problem with a lot of older activists being too broken & traumatized to continue organizing. And part of the problem is people within the movement encouraging people to push past their limits until they have nothing left to give. Or just having no support systems in place to help people recover while actively judging people who need them & can't continue without them.

And, like, it's hard, because it's easy to start feeling like no one cares about the stuff you care about when you're out there trying to make change -- especially true if all your activism is online posting & raising awareness. It can feel like you're talking to a void or a brick wall. The idea that you are so stressed & strung out & never let yourself take a break from the harsh reality of the world while there are people who have the audacity to make time to enjoy their lives and put their efforts into other activities that aren't directly related to The Cause -- well, that's why a lot of people resort to guilt trips. I know I did, too, when I was younger and freshly angry. And I know that those guilt trips did nothing to convince anyone of anything. In fact, it was the constant guilt trips that made me retreat from those online groups. Where they might have had any and all skills I could offer, they instead made me feel like shit for doing what I could handle at the time. And even though I knew guilt tripping was a major manipulation & abuse tactic, I still resorted to it and, in doing so, I felt wrong. Like I betrayed some of my core values by trying to make people feel so bad that they would suddenly realize that they should be ashamed & join the movement headfirst. It just... doesn't work that way. A guilt trip will turn people off. If you want people to join a movement or be more active in a movement they are already part of, it is so much better to encourage them to come with you to organized events or give them something tangible to do that they can actually accomplish. And if you're just talking about posting online, well... that is not the most important thing to focus on, and is a really bad measure to judge someone's morality.

All that to say, a guilt trip is usually a manifestation of the desperation folks are feeling. It's not right to guilt trip folks, and if you're at that point that you feel like that's the only thing that will get people to change and care, then I'm sorry to say you are probably on the verge of your own burnout and you need to take a break. Please don't let people make you feel bad for not being angry or on your activism shit 24/7. And don't judge yourself harshly when you need to have boundaries online. The best tactic will always be community building and working with people & their various skills on their level. Compassion and encouragement go so much farther than guilt.

No matter what a post on tumblr tries to tell you, your moral and ethical stances will never be determined by what you reblog and what you scroll past. Don’t let manipulation tactics force you into doing anything you don’t want to do.

[drowninginblox]

XMen Evolution Rambit College AU

I am making this purely for me. The age gap and the fact that these two met when Rouge was in high school throw me through a loop when the chemistry is too good. With that being said, here is this.

In this AU, all of the events of X-Men Evolution are canon. This includes...

The will they/won't they love triangle thing with Scott and Jean

Rouge being manipulated by and dealing with her mommy's issues in the most cathartic ways

Kurt being the brother she needs

All of the brotherhood bullshittery

All of the mind control/ manipulation shenanigans

AND... all of the interactions Rouge has had with Gambit. Including those that come with a creepy undertone considering the potential in ages. (yes, we will address this)

This starts about a year after Rouge graduates from high school alongside Kurt. Rouge took a year off from school to work on herself, get a hold of a job, and figure out what she wanted to do. Meanwhile, Kurt is back in Germany. He and Marie call often so they aren't out of the loop of each other's lives.

A few things to note regarding Kurt in this AU:

Kurt's parents are on the older side which is why he's back home rather than pursuing a job

Even so, I'm making him pursue online college

Hes also active in gaming communities too

And he's contemplating his faith :)

What? I like Kurt's relationship with religion in other iterations of Xmen. Plus, it makes sense. His parents are getting older, he's not around as many people near his age and he's one of two known blue people worldwide. Of course, he wants security.

Back to the AU:

This is taking place in Louisiana and maybe along the Mississippi, depending on what shenanigans arise. But that's for when we talk the Meet- Cute lol

Rouge lives on Campus, full-time in a all girl's dorm (Its the 2000's yall). I think she would be a liberal arts major with a concentration in either photography or ceramics, but she isn't at an art school. The college is most likely a general one that just so happens to have the program and location she wants.

If I return to this AU, I'd leave plenty of time to show the culture shock of college life along with the workload she has to deal with. Realy stress the importance of Rouge's fish out of water-ness alongside the people she's floating around. With that being said the majority of this AU will not focus on freshman year. I don't know about you all, but freshman year of college left me swamped with work. Most of it was an adjustment period on all fronts. While yeah, you can have fun and look around, more often than not you're gonna be working or chilling in your dorm. So yeah, we ain't seeing Gambit until Rouge is a sophomore.

Meanwhile, Gambit is running rampant in his stomping grounds. His adopted dad recently died, and the crime family he worked for is taking his word as law now. It's not his favorite thing, but it's better than having a ton of crooks acting on their own accord. At least like this, there can be some moral code.

As mentioned, meet-cute happens in the first month of Marie's second year at school (ue a cute catch-up with the rest of the X-Men/those who came to help her move in). Rouge is being dragged out of her dorm by her roommate/best friend (very Risty-coded) after settling back in. Meanwhile, Gambit is taking a night on the town to stretch his legs and his fingers. Somewhere in the mess of foot traffic, they actually bump into each other and... well... Marie thinks the worst while Remy is thinking, "Well shiiiiiiiiiit-"

OKay yall now's the time for logistics

Considering that Scott and Jean were Seniors and once they graduated while the Xmen were still attending school, I'm taking the liberty of assuming that Marie would have been a Senior post-graduation. This means that Gambit and Rouge met when she was a Junior in high school. Making Rouge 16/17 when they met.

NOW I KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS. CALM THE FUCK DOWN. I AM NOT GOING TO SUPPORT A SHIP BASED ON GROOMING.

What I am always down for is having Remy be respectable to every lady he comes in contact with. Even when the first meeting is having a card blow up in her face.

SO. For the sake of my sanity, we will keep this fact and view the canon as nothing but chemistry. It's not a foundation for a romantic relationship, just chemistry. The romance will remain in post-canon divergence (at least for me. Yall do whatever boats your float)

Also, Remy will be 19 when they first meet, making the age gap only three years as opposed to FIVE.

Okay that's the ground rules for this AU. I'll update this post if I actually write anything for it lol.

Thank yall for coming to my rabid ramblings TED TALK