#and I got a BIG project I’ve been trying to get done for months completed

[rhetoricalrogue]

The day before a big holiday is always either the slowest day ever or one of the most hectic.

My co-workers from another department invited me out to grab lunch with them, which was a nice surprise, and I’ve gotten a lot of projects I’ve had to put on the back burner completed this week. Spending the rest of the work day making sure that when I come back on Tuesday that I don’t have a lot of things to catch up on.

[writingquestionsanswered]

Hi, are there any recommendations you have for me for my writing process? My process is extremely long because I keep getting stuck. Got an idea for a conflict, okay. Stuck on fleshing that out. Eventually done. Stuck on my characters, who they are, and their roles. Finally get that done. But now I need to figure out backstory. Stuck. Figure out the plotline/solution to the conflict. Stuck. It's MONTHS between these steps of writing a story. I'm on the verge of giving up...

Slow and Clunky Writing Process

Please don't give up. The world needs the stories only you can tell. ♥

There is so much information out there about plot, story structure, conflict, goals, outlining, backstory, plot points, pacing, theme, character arc... blah, blah, blah... it can get incredibly overwhelming, especially if you can't seem to get to point of actually writing the story.

Having said that, I think it's so, soooo important to know that you don't actually have to worry so much about that stuff at the beginning.

The truth of the matter is, your first stories are probably not going to be the stories you publish. That doesn't mean you can't publish them, it's just that most of us will write two or three, maybe four or five stories before we write one that's good enough to share. As a result, what typically happens is you get a little bit better at all of those things (conflict, pacing, character arc, etc.) with every story you write. Keep learning about those things as you go, and try your best to incorporate them into each story, but you shouldn't be looking for a level of perfection that they hold you back.

Think of it like this: if you decided you wanted to build your own home, you wouldn't read a bunch of blog posts and books about home construction, maybe take a workshop or two, and then start building, expecting to build a house you could actually live in. Instead, you'd probably start by building some smaller structures... maybe a dog house, a patio with pergola, maybe help a friend split a big room in their house into two rooms. You'd take on smaller projects to put your budding skills to use and practice them. Then, when you got really good at everything, you might be ready to build your house.

Writing is the same way. You can't take all of that information and pour it into a perfect, flawless story in one go round. It's too hard, too overwhelming, and you never get a chance to actually hone your budding skills.

So, start by just writing the stories you want to write... just for fun... just to practice your skills. Don't worry if your conflict isn't perfectly fleshed out. Don't worry if your pacing is wonky or your character arc is unsatisfactory. Focus first on just writing the story. Then, you can hone your revision skills by trying to improve those things once the first draft is complete. Put the story through two or three revisions, and you're really sharpening those skills. When you go to write and revise the next story, it's going to be a little bit easier.

You'll know when you get to a point where you've written something that's publishable. You'll still need to do two or three revisions to get it where it needs to be, but the whole process will be much easier.

And one last thing: don't worry about backstory unless it's critical for helping the reader understand the world of the story, the conflict, or who the character is/why they do what they do. ♥

Happy writing! I promise it gets easier!!!

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

♦ Questions that violate my ask policies will be deleted! ♦ Please see my master list of top posts before asking ♦ Learn more about WQA here

[cloudwhisper23]

The heat went out in my room, so I'm sitting here shivering with goosebumps on my arms (I'll put on a sweater in a minute). But I've got another day of Grumbo Month done! Yay! Yet again, Grumbo Month prompts were written by @grow-bettah

Day 11: Secret Relationship

“I think you should just tell him,” Mumbo said softly one night while he was preening Grian’s wings.

“He won’t stop just because he knows I have a boyfriend, Mumbo.” Grian’s same tired excuse came out almost too easily.

“I still don’t see what the big deal is, you know. If you told your superhero partner that you were already dating someone else, then he wouldn’t-“

“That’s only one part of the problem. Hot Guy knowing isn’t the issue anyway.”

Mumbo sighed, trying not to sound too offended. He’d heard the reasons countless times. If anyone found out about Mumbo’s connection to Cute Guy, he was dead. And that was if he was lucky. He’d be tortured, and no matter how many times he insisted he could handle it, Grian refused to entertain the risk.

Besides, Grian wasn’t exactly subtle with his identity. He was so close to getting caught. And there were only so many avians who could actually do the fancy flying that Cute Guy did on a regular basis.

Grian only came to visit in the odd hours of the night. No one even knew that Grian and Mumbo had ever met before. Not even Mumbo’s closest friend Scar was allowed to be in on it.

There had been a time, Grian told Mumbo, that he’d had a family. That he allowed himself to care about people. Grian had lost everything once already. He’d lost everyone.

It took ages for Mumbo to get Grian out of his shell. The accidental crash landing into the alleyway by Mumbo’s house had given Mumbo his identity, sure, but even after that, Grian had been tightlipped.

The relationship was the longest running project Mumbo ever had, and he’d never give it up for anything. Even if Grian decided to one day distance himself completely again, the bond they’d shared would be worth it.

“I can’t risk losing you,” Grian said softly, thinking Mumbo’s silence was out of anger. “I just can’t do it again.”

“I know, Grian.” Mumbo sighed. “I just wish things could be different.”

“But they aren’t.” A muscle twitched beneath Grian’s feathers, betraying his own frustration. “If it was safe, I would show you off to everyone I’ve ever met. You would hate it.”

“I don’t know about that,” Mumbo replied, smiling faintly. “I feel like the number of people you’ve met is less than the number of fingers you have.”

“Hey! I have friends!”

“Besides me and Hot Guy?” Mumbo asked.

“There’s… Well, there’s Hot Guy’s tech man. What’s his name again?”

“You haven’t met Hot Guy’s tech man,” Mumbo replied gently. “And considering how you don’t even remember his name, I doubt he counts.”

“Well!” Grian pulled his wings away to turn and face Mumbo. “That’s what I get for wanting to brag about you!”

“It’s okay, mate.” Mumbo was still smiling. “I think you’d be more offended to know that there’s only one person I care about meeting you, if we could tell people.”

“Your best friend. Scar, right?” Grian softened. “He’s the reason you want this to stop being a secret?”

“Yeah. He thinks I spend too much time alone.”

Grian smiled. It was gentle, none of the usual mischief gleaming in his eyes. “Well, he’s got you there.”

“Oh, hush, you.” Mumbo shook his head. “I see people.”

“At work.” Grian rolled his eyes, laying back against the carpet. “If you only have work friends and Scar, I think it’s safe to say he’s right when he says you’re constantly alone.”

“I like the solitude.” Mumbo shrugged. “It also helps that it makes it less suspicious when I want to stay up waiting for you to visit me.”

“Yeah?” Grian almost cooed at that. “You like my nighttime visits?”

“Grian, if I didn’t like your nighttime visits, I would lock my window.” Mumbo laughed. “I think I’d be happy if you visited every night.”

“Really?” Grian rolled onto his stomach, peering up at Mumbo from his spot on the floor. “You’d want me around even more than I already come around?”

“If you didn’t think it was so risky to come visit me, I wouldn’t see any issue with it.”

“Aww, Mumbo.” Grian pulled himself up to sit next to Mumbo on the couch, a wing tucking behind his back to pull him close to Grian. “I love you too.”

Mumbo’s face grew warm. “Yeah?”

Grian hummed softly.

For a moment, Mumbo could pretend this was how things always were. He could pretend that Grian lived here with him.

He could pretend that Grian meant it when he said “I love you.”

[mumms-the-word]

tbh i'm actually kind of pissed at larian. regardless of if it's sticking it to hasbro or not, they're leaving the game in a potentially awful state and not delivering on promises they made, like the upper city. You also have SWEN talking about shit that could have been like ketheric's recruitment and what not, which stirs the pot even more and makes me angry. Like stop talking about it. we're already upset enough.

These are all very valid critiques, anon! I have many thoughts but I’ll put everything under the cut since I got a little long-winded because I’m passionate about video games in general.

I do play a bit of Devil’s Advocate here but please note I am not attacking you personally or trying to direct any hate towards anybody at all! This ask honestly gave me space to vent some thoughts I’ve had for months about this game. I did my best to offer nuanced perspectives and acknowledge my own biases. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, including their own disappointments and praises for Larian, Swen, the actors, and all involved in the making/maintaining (or lack thereof) of BG3.

TLDR: We shouldn’t put Larian on a pedestal as the Best Studio Ever, but we don’t have to grab our pitchforks and say they’re the worst studio ever either. If BG3 is a disappointment it might be because Larian flew a little too close to the sun trying to squeeze 80% of a functional D&D experience into a digital video game package, when (in my opinion) those two game genres are almost inherently designed to not mesh well, disappointing one fan while satisfying another.

———

Point #1, Idk how much Larian is sticking it to Hasbro but Hasbro IS a greedy corporation who has no idea how to make video games and I very highly suspect they’ve been making demands of Larian’s team that are impossible to meet without destroying the work ethic (and health/mental health/financial stability, etc) of Larian’s team. Hasbro just sees dollar signs. Larian isn’t necessarily as interested in milking BG3 for all it’s worth.

If they were, we’d be paying for Upper City in a DLC, and we’re not. Instead they’re choosing to pivot to a fresh new project that isn’t beholden to Hasbro or the demands of WOTC. Does it feel like they’re abandoning the game? Yeah, kinda. But if Swen says that his team looked visibly relieved to move on to something new, that gives me warning bells. Not against Swen, but about the crunch standard of games industries as a whole and possibly against Hasbro or WOTC. I’d much rather his team take care of their very human selves than grind themselves to ultimate burnout working on a game that is functionally complete, if buggy in places and not satisfying for some players because they didn’t get the content they wanted.

There is no perfect game, after all.

And honestly I’d say the same of any AAA studio too. I am consistently frustrated with game studios firing whole departments for the sake of retaining profits and treating their employees like content robots. Games should not be made at the expense of anyone’s physical or mental health, but unfortunately that’s The Industry Standard. (And personally I think Larian or at least Swen is uncomfortable with that.)

(Also I think people forget that making a game the size of BG3 requires the talents and hard work of hundreds of people. Larian was working with, what, 400 people? And that was after they hired like 250+ to even rise to the challenge of making BG3. Who are we even pointing the finger at for all these issues? Swen? He’s one man.)

Should they have promised something they couldn’t deliver? No. But also, I have no idea what issues led them to cutting the content, either. What’s done is done.

BG3 will be an obsolete game in a year or soon anyway, not because Larian isn’t working on it anymore, but because the games industry is just So. Freaking. Big. and pumps out thousands of games a year. Like, I hate to say it, but people are already dropping BG3 for other games like Dragon’s Dogma 2 because DD2 is shiny, new, and has a bonkers character creator.

And there’s nothing wrong with that! We’re not built to play (or work on) a narrative-focused game for 5-7 years, regardless of what any die-hard Destiny fan tells you (note: multiplayers without narrative get a pass purely because the focus isn’t on the narrative, but on collaborative play).

If a game is no longer fun to play, move on and find something that scratches your itch. Go back and play old games! There are so many things out there to explore. I have a To Be Played pile literally right now, a backlog of games I haven’t tried out yet. I’m sure many others do too.

Point #2 (and here I could be wrong, if I’m not already wrong in my opinions above), but they’re not entirely abandoning the game like…at the drop of a hat. They’re still promising at least a handful of hotfixes and at least one more patch with new evil epilogue endings (among other things).

Does that get us Upper City? Likely not. Does that add enough content to give Wyll a more well-rounded storyline, elevate all the romances to Astarion levels of cutscenes and dialogue, and finish Karlach’s questline with an actual solution for her heart? Also likely not. Is it precious to be mad about these losses? No! Be mad!! Wyll deserves justice!!!

I’d love to explore Upper City. I’m a huge advocate for Wyll getting more/better representation. If I could save Karlach without throwing her into Avernus I would in a HEARTBEAT. But these things aren’t in the game, and they likely won’t be. Larian made decisions to meet a (self-imposed? Hasbro imposed? Industry-relevant?) deadline that are ultimately disappointing. We can absolutely acknowledge that we’re disappointed.

But I don’t necessarily think Larian is just being lazy about these decisions, though. At the end of the day we have no idea what contracts Larian is under, what hell the developers have been through, either from the game industry, Hasbro, rabid fans, or excessively cruel critics, or what technical/gameplay/scheduling/financial issues they ran into at various parts of development.

Like the Ketheric thing (Point #3). Was it bad PR to bring up that Ketheric was a “kill your darlings” decision late in development around the same time you’re openly promoting the end of your relationship with BG3? Yeah. Totally. But I’m not surprised they had to cut something like that. Games, movies, books do that all the time. How many deleted scenes from movies have we seen where it could have changed the whole narrative (maybe even made it better) if it had just stayed in? I can think of a handful. It sucks, but trust me, it hurts the writers and developers way more to cut content they’ve poured money and time and heart and soul into than it hurts us, the players who would never know the wiser if they hadn’t said anything.

But also, the game is ABSOLUTELY MASSIVE. On PC you have to have 150GB free just to install it. Can you imagine how big it would be if they had shoved everything they wanted into it, even if they had delayed the game a while to make it happen? 150GB is a lot.

For perspective, that puts it on par with a very, very, VERY tiny sector of PC games at about the same level (or higher) of GB requirements, including Red Dead Redemption 2 (a fantastic open world game that still holds up in 2024), Microsoft Flight Simulator (which requires 150GB because it’s literally just flying through high quality renders of actual Earth), Forspoken (everyone says all the GB went to graphics here and I believe them), Star Wars: Jedi Survivor (which only has about 50 hours of playable content, allegedly), basically any VR game, and ARK: Survival Evolved which comes in at a whopping 400 GB mostly because of DLC. In other words, games that big get that big either because of graphics or like a hundred DLCs.

BG3 manages to fit in gorgeous cinematics, a super complex spell-combat system, a more or less streamlined video game build for complex D&D combat rules and mechanics, 10 potential companions, 8 romances among those companions, several large maps to explore, and branching narratives that would take you days to read every scrap of dialogue for (I’ve downloaded the datamined files for Patch6, and there are whole leagues of dialogue, encounters, and bits that are in the game, unbugged, that most of us pass by because we don’t explore enough). You want to know where most of the GB goes? It goes towards sustaining a D&D combat/narrative structure that was originally never built with video game constraints in mind.

Do you know how many conditions/status effects there are in the game? Over 1100. 1100+ unique descriptions and titles for conditions that debuff or buff your character or your enemies, granting hundreds of actual gameplay affects. Do you know how many spells there are across the 12 playable classes and all unique spells for enemies and allies? Like 400, if we’re getting picky and splitting hairs over stuff like Rolan’s Magic Missile being different than the usual Magic Missile or if we’re splitting out something like Disguise Self into its 32 different variations. Each spell needs a different icon, a different graphic effect, and it needs to do the right kind of damage and cause the right kind of condition or effect, some of which are immediate, others which linger.

We can speak with dead with hundreds of characters. That’s a lot of dialogue. We can talk to ANY named NPC. That’s a lot of dialogue! We can talk to any animal, with or without speak with animals enabled. That’s a lot of dialogue!!

A single playthrough where I try to explore as much as possible takes me 150 hours or more. I have 500 hours in this game and I’ve only got 4 characters and I’ve only finished 2 of them. This game is mind-bogglingly big. Even if it’s not the biggest game in history ever, or even the biggest game by the time of its release, its BIG.

The biggest critique I would have here is one that I’ve had since I first started playing the game, and it’s that D&D systems and video games don’t mesh comfortably well. I think that Larian got distracted trying to make the ultimate D&D experience, catering to a demographic that is known to ignore plot and pursue shenanigans, and Larian felt the need to build in a lot of shenanigans.

I think they got a little overzealous about it, and that’s where we have missing content, and a lot of fluff that isn’t always plot-relevant. If the game feels unfinished, it’s because Larian started too many threads, and while there are endings to all of those threads, many of them feel rushed or unsatisfactory. Why do they feel unsatisfactory? Because we’re offered so much freedom early on, only to be pulled back into the much more limited narrative constraints of a video game at the end. Because the game has to end eventually, unlike a D&D campaign which could go on or explore many other possibilities. But by act 3 in a 150 GB game, we’re running out of time and space.

And yes that’s disappointing as hell and Larian could and arguably SHOULD have made different decisions on what to focus on.

But ultimately, you just can’t fit a full-on, any-choice-goes D&D experience in a game that needs to be packaged neatly enough to run on most PCs or consoles, and Larian was ambitious as hell to try. Contrary to popular belief, I think they did pretty freaking well given the challenge, and no, it isn’t perfect, and no, to confess to my own bias, I don’t have the same complicated history with the game that early access or release day players have because I bought the game like 2 months after it was out and patched twice. But they’ve clearly built a game that people love so much they’re upset there isn’t more of it, or at least upset it isn’t the best it can be.

But sometimes we have to be realistic too. I can only imagine how many more bugs or render issues we’d get if they did try to shove in Upper City at this point. Games can only be so big before they start to become too much for the systems that try to run them and I don’t want the games industry veering towards making games an elitist hobby for only the rich and elite who can afford expensive rigs and $100 games.

(And also, I’m not at all upset that for $70 bucks I got 500 hours of gameplay and I’m not 100% sick of it yet. When EA and Activision are getting players to pay hundreds in micro transactions and DLC and dangling extra maps and new missions behind paywalls? Bish, please, I’m good. You want to talk about an unfinished experience? Dragon Age: Inquisition made us pay for our epilogue content as a DLC. At least Larian built theirs in for free from the start.)

Anyway.

All that said, I’m sure if Larian could turn back the clock and start over, they’d make different decisions about what to keep, cut, and refine. But we’re here now.

If I want to see anything from Larian right now, it’s a dedication to fix ongoing bugs that make the game unplayable or that block the narratives that they have built so that they play correctly (like with the Minthara romance). IDEALLY I’d like to see them add more content for companions other than Astarion, to equalize the romance experiences, but I’m not holding my breath (again, considering things like game development, actor schedules, contracts, etc).

While I’m sad about the permanent loss of stuff like the Upper City and disappointed by all the rushed questlines, I’d rather them fix the bugs that make the game un-fun to play and bow out gracefully once they’re sure the game won’t need constant supervision.

Besides, they’re working on cross-platform mod support, and mods are gonna add and mess with the game for many years to come, so we can pivot to support them instead while Larian works on its next game (and hopefully learns from its mistakes with BG3).

[rallamajoop]

I love your Wintersberg smut fics 😭😭😭 Do you have any more fic drafts/ ideas that are bouncing around in your brain? I'd love to hear... Ethan getting his smart mouth shut up for once and getting fucked stupid is my favorite trope.

Aha, I take it you enjoyed Atypical Side-Effects? Does Medical Log count too? Either way, now I'm very amused that the last ask I got like this one was from someone who was into Ethan bantering his way through sex ‒ I mean, nice to know I'm appealing to multiple markets here! XD

I did post a list of stuff I had in the works back in September, but a lot of those have been checked off and posted since then, so maybe we're due for an update. There's not as much wintersberg on the current list as there was, but we'll see where it goes.

So, fic I have actually made progress on in the last month or two:

The second chapter of Atypical Side-Effects I've been promising everyone is with my beta now, though I cannot tell you there's much smut in this one, and it's currently second in the queue behind...

That post-RE7 Mithan fic where Mia actually gets to come clean that I mentioned in my last WIP post, which has somehow grown into a veritable monster (how tf did this thing break 15k I do not know), and is responsible for stalling progress on most everything else around it while it ate writing time. But it is at last (hopefully) done, and my beta is trying to sort out if it's ready to be unleashed on the world now.

As mentioned in a comment or two, I've also been working on a sequel to my Yuletide Lost Boys fic Pater Unfamilias. It's about halfway done now, I think?

In other misc fandom news, I've still got a couple of semi-cast-off bits of Deus Ex fic that came out of my Spare Parts anthology not-quite-finished (and which I've been promising myself I will totally get back to and finish sometime after that big one above was done). Whether they end up getting added to that story or whether I wind up posting them as their own things remains to be decided.

But back in Resi-land, I may have mentioned in that last post that I had part of a continuation of That One Where Heisenberg Follows Him Home, and that's one I'm still picking away at between other projects. Eventual Ethan/Mia/Heisenberg, just for a little variety, but it's got its teeth in me and definitely wants to go somewhere.

So overall, possibly not quite as much wintersberg as you might have hoped? Though I may have kind of promised someone there was still more of that one Beauty and the Beast wintersberg AU still very much in my plans. And one or two other things from that older list are still in the 'may get back to' pile too.

But if you’re asking about ideas that haven’t necessarily made the draft stage, well, I could always list you a few…

I have forever been toying with the idea of a post-canon Heisenberg-lives idea, where he ends up working for Chris’ outfit as a medical examiner who specialises in cutting apart whatever horrific BOWs have been brought back for study, and also in terrifying any hapless intern who so much as wanders into his lab. I mean, he’d be perfect for the job: plenty experienced in studying bioweapons, utterly un-squeamish about cutting up dead things, and as a bonus, completely qualified to defend himself whenever some ambitious specimen decides to get up again unexpectedly. Speaking of which, mundane AUs where Heisenberg’s some kind of medical examiner should really be more of a thing too (sure, mechanic works too, but is it really gross enough for him?)

Speaking of Heisenberg-lives possibilities, the idea of a universe where he survives (unbeknownst to our heroes) thanks to having bought a ‘life insurance policy’ from the Duke which involves him being resurrected via mould trickery is another one I’ve had forever. Did actually mention it in my last in-progress post (it’s the fairy tale idea titled simply ‘Koschei’), but haven’t really made any progress on it since.

Alternately, in a hypothetical Ethan-lives-Heisenberg-doesn’t AU, the idea of a Heisenberg who continues to haunt Ethan as a mould-ghost ala virtual-Eveline has to rank pretty high on the “has no-one does this? Because someone should totally do this”-scale. No really concrete ideas for this one though, so consider it very much free to a good home.

In more recent ideas, someone pointed out to me a little while ago the possibility that Heisenberg might be able to feel it when Ethan touches anything metal (which sure does cast Ethan’s own arsenal in an interesting light!) Don’t know if I’ll ever actually get around to doing something with this one, but I’ve definitely given this one some thought.

On a related note, look, I still say the idea of Heisenberg deciding to make Ethan appreciate his genius by trapping him in a massive soldat-orgy is one I want someone else to write for me, but I’ve definitely now spent enough time explaining it to certain people that I can’t deny having given it some real thought.

In other free-to-a-good-home ideas, has anyone ever written a decent little Eveline-wins-AU horror story, with Mia and Ethan stuck playing ‘families’ with her, and only conditionally conscious of what’s really going on? Because there just is not enough real horror or fic willing to treat Eveline as the horrific little monster she canonically is around this place.

And just for something completely different, some kind of surreal Mia/Zoe thing set during RE7, with Mia constantly shifting between different levels of awareness of what’s going on, how much she can remember, and what she thinks her relationship to Eveline really is preferably with some at least R-rated Mia/Zoe smut is another of those ideas I’ve been sitting on forever now.

...and I hope that about answers your question, because that's me about out. *g*

[papyrus-in-practice]

Hey, y’all! I wanted to give an update on Papyrus in Practice and other related stuff.

“It’s been about a year, where’s the next page!?”

Wow, when I saw it’s actually been a year, I kind of blanched a bit. I didn’t mean for the hiatus to last that long. Next page is actually done. In fact, a couple of pages are either done or close to done. I’m trying to build up a big buffer so that, hopefully, there will be a smaller gap between updates in the future. My plan is to have eight pages completed, line art for four pages done, have the script for the next scene done, and have a couple of pages worth of sketches ready. As I’m typing this, six of the eight next pages are done with the remaining ones in various stages of completion and two of the four next pages have finished line art. I’ve been working and reworking and re-reworking the script for the final scene for the past twenty months and honestly frustrated in how to wrap up the chapter in a satisfying way that won’t make me stuck on chapter 4 for another two years because the climax and conclusion is so long. So, that’s where I’m at now.

“I wrote something in the ask blog and didn’t get a response.”

I read every comment and every ask sent to me and, most likely, have at least attempted to write a script to answer it. But, I gotta weigh my options. Do I answer it at risk of delaying Papyrus in Practice for another month or focus on the comic? Depending on how elaborate the answer is, it might take a while to make a response. There are also things I just don’t know how to answer to and, believe me, I’ve tried coming up with a good answer, but I’m also still learning about life myself and I’ve found that, sometimes, my answer to a question has changed a lot over time. Sometimes, I’m afraid of saying something that’s ultimately harmful. It’s a tricky balance. At the end of the day, I've never guaranteed a response to any ask and never will guarantee a response. There are still some asks that I'd like to get around to, maybe if chapter 4 finishes or I get burnt out while making it and need a change of pace.

“Are you actually a therapist?”

Yup. I just graduated this past May with a masters in art therapy counseling. My title right now is a qualified mental health professional or QMHP. I’m waiting to take the National Counselor’s Exam to obtain my LPC but government paperwork is a looooong process(seriously, some of my colleagues have been waiting in the queue for over a year to get their LCPC). In the meantime, I can still practice as a therapist as long as I check in with a supervisor and have been practicing and slowly building my caseload for the past couple of months.

“Can you be my therapist/give therapy to this person?”

The short answer is no. The long answer is that there are a lot of ethical concerns when it comes to providing mental healthcare and breaching ethical guidelines could impede therapy progress, bring potential harm to the client, myself, or I could get in big legal trouble. I can also only practice if the client is located in my home state and goes through the company I work for since I need supervision to practice. However, I’d be happy to provide resources like websites that help you find a therapist, even for a reduced price, or self-help sites that can help you learn skills and develop tools to use that can boost your mental well-being. I cannot, however, provide mental health services.

“Will (insert character’s name) meet with Papyrus?”

Maybe. I’ve got ideas for characters in mind, but it’s more a question of how much longer I want to be doing this for. I’ll be honest with y’all, I’m getting burnt out. I want to do different projects or even revisit older projects, but I tell myself I can’t do that until I finish Papyrus in Practice or, at the very least, finish chapter 4. I didn’t think this chapter would go on for as long as it has, but it also makes sense. We’ve already hit page 25 which is almost as long as the entirety of chapter 3 and I don’t even know if we’re halfway done with the chapter yet. The way it’s looking, chapter 4 may easily hit at least 50 pages.

“So, when will you be posting again?”

Soon! Hopefully, before the end of the year. When I start updating again, I’ll be posting one page every other week which gives at least a few months of content for y’all.

That being said, I’ll see you soon!

-Meemie

[signor-signor]

Trending 27th - March 2024

Talking to Craig McCracken

If you had a chance to talk to Craig McCracken, what would you say to him that not only complements him on the work he’s done in the past 30+ years, but also reassures him that there’s still interest in the plans he made for S3?

As someone who grew up watching Cartoon Network in the ‘90s, I would tell him…

“Hi, Craig-o, pleased to meet you! I’ve known your work since the early-mid nineties. I believe you were involved in 2 Stupid Dogs and Dexter’s Laboratory. It must have been a real treat getting to know some history behind Hanna-Barbera. I know it was for me. When I first saw a piece of your own work, it was on the side of a box of Fruity Pebbles promoting World Premiere Toons - one of the characters was Bubbles of the PPG. I gotta say, you’ve been one of my inspirations growing up.”

When it gets to the point where I talk about WOY, I would say this to him…

“I remember when I got into Wander Over Yonder. When I first saw your early sketches of him, I thought of Cantus the Minstrel from Fraggle Rock. And what can I say? I’m a sucker for anything related to Muppets. How about Jack McBrayer? He’s the perfect choice for the character’s voice! WOY marks the first time I got to hear Jack sing. It’s the show that provided the springboard for shows Disney apparently loves best, specifically Star vs. the Forces of Evil and Big City Greens - those shows wouldn’t have been picked up if it wasn’t for Daron Nefcy and the Houghton Bros.’ involvement in the first season. It’s also the first show where Andy Bean provided music for a TV series and where people like Noël Wells got to try their hand at voice acting. The show has made a lot more history than you can possibly imagine, so please don’t take it too lightly.”

Now comes the part where I talk about the elephant in the room, or rather, the ape in the space capsule…

“To be honest, I really looked forward to watching episodes of the show during its run. When I looked at your announcement about the premature cancellation and the plans you’d made for that third and final season, I was totally perplexed. Disney let Fish Hooks go on for three seasons regardless of content - was that because no one turned deaf ears or blind eyes to it? I always assumed they’d treat WOY the same way they treated FH.”

“Somehow it just doesn’t feel right to let your show bite the dust just because the “higher up bosses of bosses of bosses” didn’t see the need to make more, especially not after you made most fans aware of the existence of the plans for S3 and led them to believe it was guaranteed to be amazing. Why do you think I haven’t given up on WOY? And why else would I have Kid encourage viewers to watch the show (Kid Cosmic was great, by the way, one that definitely ended in victory)? I cannot think of any other show that was canceled one week before S2’s premiere, seven months after the S1 finale, five months after writing on S2 wrapped up, five months after your pitch for S3. You, Craig, are one of the most experienced cartoonists in the business and you don’t deserve to be treated like this.”

“To let you know just how determined I am to right this wrong, I worked four months on an Illustrator piece featuring over 140 individuals, built a LEGO Star Nomad (when I showed it to Dave Thomas (@owner-of-wendys), he said, “Dude… that Star Nomad is incredible. Well done!”), and wrote a pre-S3 shorts idea where Andy the Watchdog interviews refugees on the ex-secret planet. Heck, I even had to figure out what Star Force Enforcement Force look like and how the plot of S3 might play out.”

“@peepsqueak started the SaveWOY campaign, and I’m seeing to it that it shan’t be in vain. I know you’re busy with your other projects, but there is still a show waiting to be completed on your own terms. Until the time comes, keep making people smile! Darkest times call for sunniest of smiles!”

[nonsensefromtheabyss]

W.I.P Wednesday 1: The List

I don’t really know how big of a deal WIP Wednesday is on here, but it’s when my writing club used to be so I’ve decided I might as well start again! Maybe not every Wednesday, but I think it might be nice to share my thoughts instead of cannibalising them quietly. This week, I am doing that project list I mentioned before: Behold! Here are all the works I have on the schedule/drawing board at the moment. 

HAZBIN HOTEL. 

A Broken Record On Repeat In A Crowded Bar: a story about a brutally injured Alastor refusing to rely on his friends and toying with the boundaries of his deal. It also looks at everyone else’s perspectives post-extermination and features a lot of Charlie struggling with where she and her dreams stand in the new status quo. Quite dark, mostly character driven, will be 13 chapters long when done.

Still working on Chapter 5. Have been working on Chapter 5 for longer than I ever thought possible. Unfortunately my hours at work have increased which, along with a few changes in my personal life, means I’ve had less project time recently. It is hovering somewhere around 2/3s completed and I’m still hopeful to get it out this month. Overall, the whole project is sitting at around 60,000 words if I tally up all the chapter documents—not bad for an idea that started as a fucking oneshot!

I’ve also finally got a table that I can paint at, so I’m doing a painting of the Final Confrontation. No idea why; I sneezed and the sketch appeared. I have absolutely no faith that it’ll be finished by the time I upload that chapter, but sometimes we do these things for the journey. And the joy of painting. I’ve not had anywhere to paint for a year.

PROFESSOR LAYTON. 

When The Dust Settles and Professor Layton And The Master’s Last Painting: post Unwound Future Sycamore and Layton team up to solve a case where the people have vanished from a bunch of paintings. At the same time, Layton is trying to uncover what his estranged brother has been doing for the past three years. Mystery elements, psychological elements, a complete disregard for reality; slightly darker than the game series, but only in the sense that I describe the violence. The prologue and first part of what’s planned to be a trilogy. 

I actually don’t know if anyone here knows about these works; I wasn’t on tumblr when I started them. And I’ve been gone for… quite some time…

Basically, I got halfway through Chapter 15 and got really, really stuck—partly due to other things happening in my life at the time, and partly because it… wasn’t feeling right. To try and refresh myself with how we’d gotten to that point in the story, I read back through all my published Layton work and… was not inspired. I actually realised how much I disliked my early writing; I wasn’t using scenes or characters effectively, the threads for the mystery as a whole were either too obscure or flat out not there—I was displeased. Particularly because this is a project I get really excited about when I think about my plans for the series; all my work deserves my best effort, but this one in particular has a lot of potential to me that I don’t feel like I captured in my initial writings. Time to start fresh! Take another swing at it! I have a different method of working now, and I feel certain that this time I can capture my vision.

So, I finished my dissertation and cleared my first ever Big Project, and I had already started on the big rewrite… and then I fell down a hole into Hazbin Hotel. I cannot stress enough that Broken Record was supposed to be a oneshot. Finishing these two works is next on my list, this time I swear it. I already have the story divided up into chapter documents, and some have been fully reworked, It Is Happening. You still probably won’t see anything for a while yet, but if you’re one of my readers from before or on the off chance you’re curious now, feel free to pop up to chat about it!

RIDDLE SCHOOL. 

Unnamed Project. I’m so fucking back. Some very lovely people said they’d be interested in seeing more from me in my Riddle V.I.Z.ion universe, and I accidentally fell in love with these characters all over again while completing that project. Yall convinced me and I am so very happy about that!

The work will be a collection of moments from the aliens’ lives, jumping around in time between past and present within the timeline and history I’ve given them. More detail into how they work together, what their home planet is like, what they actually got up to as V.I.Z.ion members, stuff like that! Basically an excuse for me to write more for them. At the minute, I have their timelines (collective and individual) plotted out in a document, and have selected sections of history I think would be interesting to explore, so I would say a rough plot is hesitantly in place! 

Because it’s not going to be precisely linear (given that we already know where they end up, I don’t think there’s anything to be gained from sticking to the laws of time!) I’m thinking I can be a bit more flexible with myself in how I work on it. Which means I might try and fit it in around other projects as a little treat to refresh myself. If I think of it like Short Stories In A Shared Universe instead of Another Book, it feels manageable that I might add to it without disrupting my workflow, which means it hopefully won’t take another seven years (always a good thing!)

I’m also doing more art for Riddle V.I.Z.ion as well, fuck it. I had a vision (hah!) I saw the shipyard and the miserable campfire. I’ve never painted space before, but this seems a good enough reason to try. (I’ve painted the woods many, Many times.)

So, if you’re interested in this project while it’s still in the early stages, or you’ve read Riddle V.I.Z.ion and were interested in more, feel free to drop by and chat! Currently I’m stuck on a name; Puzzle Pieces has a certain appeal, but I think that would also be nice as a series title, and I think I’d like to keep the ‘Riddle’ naming theme for the main instalments. Riddle Classified? Riddle Planet? Riddle Logbook? Unauthorised Access feels nice in my head, but again with the lack of ‘Riddle’ continuity. Hm. I’ll keep at it. It’s the annoying moment where I realise that ‘Riddle V.I.Z.ion’ itself would have been the perfect title for this too!

DON’T HUG ME I’M SCARED. 

Three Friends, Three Foes, Three Names They’ll Never Know: a series of drabbles about terrible things happening to the Three Guys. Very graphic and violent. Horror elements with a lot of gore.

Believe it or not, I actually have three more chapters I always meant to add to that story that just got pushed around in favour of other things. Always meant to get back around and finish them; as you can see, they’re on The List!

So, in short order, we have ‘The Yellow Guy Chapter (a nightmare about stairs)’, ‘The Bigger Boys Chapter (bestie you forgot about The Cycle)’, and the ‘Lore Chapter (contains nothing of use to anyone, is Not A Theory.)’ They’re all about 1/3 done; i dip into them whenever I feel like rewatching the series or writing psychological and physical horror without any embellishments. Not much to declare on this front but they will be done at some point.

RESIDENT EVIL: VILLAGE. 

The Monsters You Told Your Children About: all the characters except for Mother Miranda are brought back to life by The Duke. Rose is declared a bio weapon by the BSAA and is taken into their custody. Thus begins a road trip where Ethan, with encouragement from The Duke, convinces the four most dangerous monsters he knows to help him rescue his baby.  This story is basically fucked up found family with the mold acting as a Get Along shirt for everyone involved and The Duke eating popcorn.

Contrary to popular belief, this story isn’t dead! Much like Ethan himself, it is merely in a perpetual state of rotting, and that hasn’t kept it from coming back to kick me in the ass whenever I feel inspired to look at it again. Original projection length was stupidly optimistic—this thing needs to be more than 8 chapters long or it’s just going to be nonsense. It needs some structural revision in its planning department, which is why it went cold in the first place; few things more demoralising than realising you’ve lost inspiration and your basic building-blocks suck.

So! I’m keeping the same concept and ideas and just… reworking the elements to flow better as a narrative instead of just being a collection of things I immediately wanted coming out of the game. Of course, this should have been step one all those years ago, but I rather got ahead of myself.

CUPHEAD. 

Untitled project. This was a curve ball to me. Divine inspiration to work out the perfect plot… for something I had wanted to write about in 2017. The devil works in mysterious ways and apparently She wants me to write more fic.

Following the Devil’s retreat, all the souls on the Inkwell Isles are released, and the Casino collapses into dust and rubble. The Casino, which I remind you, belongs once again to its original owner, the newly freed and magicless King Dice, who is not able to counter that degree of property damage. Mostly because even lawyers hate him.

Left with nothing to his name but his soul, King Dice, followed by his loyal court, embarks on a solemn quest: to punch his old boss in the fucking face.

(Featuring: bullying Saltbaker into opening a portal to Hell, Cagney running the woodland mafia, Spirited Away soul trains, and potion brewing with Elder Kettle (he’s being held at gun point.) Not show compliant, I have never watched it.)

I’m not thinking about this one too hard. I’m hoping if I stop looking at it, it’ll go away (it won’t.)

[illusionremember]

Writer's Journal #02

I mentioned this the other day, but I've made a second blog ( @sabookey ) that will center around writing. I'll probably keep any deeper discussion of my original projects mainly over there, but I'll reblog it here when that comes up.

Historically, I've struggled to feel comfortable talking about my stories, especially when they are WIPs. It's not that I'm afraid of hearing what people think. As a young teen, I saw a lot of people warning creatives off of sharing their OCs for fear of IP theft, and that really stuck with me. The more recent AI bull doesn't help with that kind of paranoia, either. But regardless, as I'm starting to dive into each of these projects more, the discomfort around sharing is something that I'm trying to let go of.

One project I'm currently working on though, is a fanfic I started toying with the idea of years ago — my Tremors!AU Supernatural fic. A few months ago I rewatched Tremors (always a fun movie) and the idea came back and this time I'm actually going forward with it. I haven't written fanfic in a very long time, but coming off of a long period of burnout and depression and recovery, where I'm trying to center my writing again, it helps to have something completely self-indulgent that I can just... play with.

Here’s some things I’ve loved lately, working on my current projects:

I'm just about done with the rough for the first three chapters of the SPN Tremors!AU, and hitting roughly 14,500 words so far, which has already exceeded my more modest goal of 10K words per month :D

I'm getting to write the first one-on-one scene for the romantic arc (which is honestly like a C-level subplot, but I'm a hopeless romantic at heart) and while I was having some trouble with it at first, once I got into their dialogue, it started to flow again. These characters make it so easy to write them connecting with each other on a deeper level than most.

I'm a big believer that learning happens best when you are experimenting and trying things out. That's proven true here - working on this project is really helping me learn more about pacing and balance.

I've talked about this a few times with friends and family, so some of you already know this, but this has been a game changer when it comes to how I do outlines and rough drafts. I always struggle with that part, but this feels... easy, for once. I'm trying hard not to put this project up on some kind of pedestal. Like sometimes in the back of my mind I'm like, if I can complete this fic, then I can apply what I've learned from it to my original works and it'll make every project work like a dream. Which is an impractical expectation to place, but... jfc this has been so much more fun and effortless. I'm also trying to remind myself that being a fanfic, there's a lot of workload lifted off my shoulders when it comes to fabricating a plot. But still.

I was able to talk through some issues I was having with one scene and character in chapter 3 (Thank you again to @alkalidumpling! <3 ) which was really nice because, as mentioned above, I often don't talk about WIPs. The fact that this was productive is very heartening!

I wrote a scene between two characters that really don't get a lot of interaction typically, in canon or in fic (at least, not ones I've read) and it was really fun because it pulls out a different dynamic for each than I think I'm used to seeing. Plus its kinda fun to have characters interacting where I don't have as much intent or stakes to pour into how their relationship needs to go - there's some freedom there that's very intriguing to me.

Feel free to respond or reblog and talk about the things you’ve enjoyed about working on your WIP! I wanna try and build more positivity around the creative process, and I’d love to hear what kinds of things other people are doing!

[a-student-out-of-time]

The only thing that concerns me is if Despair Time will make it past the “Great Fanganronpa Filter.”

If you are unaware of this, I tried explaining it before but Tumblr garbled my asks of it up, it’s a worrying trend I’ve noticed where Chapter 2s tend to be when most fanganronpas get cancelled. If you don’t believe me, think of all the fangans that got cancelled and the Chapter they did it.

Yep it’s Chapter 2. And since this happens so often, I’ve dubbed it the “Great Fanganronpa Filter” based off the Great Filter which is one of the many many theories why we haven’t found life on other planets yet.

Why is it Chapter 2 seems to be like this? Well my theory is most fangan creators have a plan in mind for the Prologue and Chapter 1 and they are in the honeymoon period where everything is peachy and nice. Chapter 2 is when they start trying to introduce their themes and the honeymoon period ends and the reality of the amount of work they have to do sinks in.

Because when compared to other fanworks fanganronpas are extremely challenging to write. Not only do you need a good theme and mysteries in place, you also need to write 5-6 murder cases and on top of that you need at least 16 well thought out and complex characters. That is a lot of work and throw in any irl issues and this is why most creators cannot do it.

And given how exhausted and burns it out DT Dev is, I fear this could lead to a cancellation. I could be wrong and any fangan that goes past Chapter 3 is very likely to finish, but we are at the critical stage.

//I feel inclined to point out that, based on what they've said, it seems more like their biggest issue has been how visceral the push-back was against their story decisions in this chapter before it was even done. So many people were furious with the decision to make Ace the killer before the ending was even out and were straight up quitting DT over it.

//I'm not exempt from this, but I was more disappointed than angry until the ending came out, then that completely rectified my opinions. I admit I still have criticisms, but contrary to what numerous annoying anons have claimed, they have nothing to do with Arei's death. I'm happy she wasn't forgotten by the end.

//The biggest problems I've seen DT experience all really have more to do with how poorly the fandom treats the dev, how entitled and nasty they can get- including harassing the dev and the VAs- and how many really misconstrue the actual content of the story and demonize some characters past the point of rationality.

//If you think I'm exaggerating, TA showed me a youtube comment under one DT video from someone who believed, because Nico tried to kill Ace, they didn't deserve to have anyone use their proper pronouns. Which I understand is not indicative of the entire fanbase, but it's still disgusting and it's the sort of behavior that can't be allowed to go unaddressed.

//We had to wait 17 months for Part 2 to continue. It's already a lot of hard work, you're absolutely right, and it's probably harder because DT is a web series and not in a game engine. It's not going to come faster if all the dev gets is hate and bad behavior.

//You're right that a lot of fangans don't reach Chapter 3 for various reasons, but with something like DT, it needs even more time and more effort. We may not always agree with their story decisions, but they've admitted this is their first big writing project and it's already turned out really well if you ask me.

//The point here is, while the Great Fangan Filter is true, they should also be examined on a case-by-case basis for why they don't all make it. DT's creator is talented and skilled, but those are things that need to be fostered constructively. I sympathize with them greatly because I've faced a lot of pushback myself over the years, but I've always managed to persevere.

//If we want DT continue, and other fangans to continue at that, we need to understand that these are just really passionate people who are doing these for free so we can enjoy them. Not that it means they're above criticism, but that we shouldn't think this status means they're above decency and understanding either.

//Didn't mean to turn this into a rant, but I'm very passionate about this issue because I relate ^^;

[littlestsnicket]

sprint board update!

3/4 tasks complete this week. i didn’t actually finish the fic, still need to fix the transition into the ending, but all the beta feedback is addressed and i’m confident i’m not going to have an ‘oh i wish i had set this thing up better’ moment so i’m going to start posting anyway!!! aaaahhh!!

the doc meta-data says i’ve been working on this on and off since last july, and i really credit this scrum thing for giving me the push i needed to actually get this done. (extensive cheerleading from @soymimikyu and @kuwdora was also critical, but that’s less something that changed in the last month or so) (although it is actually also credit to talking to kuwdora about this thing i wanted to try that i’m actually doing it)

sprint review/retro/planning notes below the cut

considering my parents were visiting all weekend and i was feeling kind of garbage last wednesday and thursday (i’m feeling so much better than i was in early january but still having weird bouts of stomach upset-ness), i’m actually shocked i got as close to finishing as i did. yay!

don’t feel like i have that much to say though… i am a simple person and moving sticky notes around can really be the little tiny push i need to sit down and focus and get things done. i think for me personally (especially since this is a hobby and i’m not trying to train myself out of my desire to obsessively edit as i go even though i understand why that is bad if you want to be efficient) the task based mentality is a lot more helpful than a word count goal. and also that a major thing i was stalling on when i started was sitting down and rewatching the bits of the show i needed to… the tasks make that sort of research feel like an accomplishment in and of itself instead of something that needs to happen before an accomplishment occurs. the immediacy of a reward (even if the reward is just moving a sticky note) is hugely helpful.

want to give myself a bit of a break, allow time for fic posting (which always ends up being a tiny bit more involved than i anticipate), and swapping my wardrobe for summer, and preparing for work trip, so no actual writing tasks in the upcoming sprint—just some commitments to sit down and brainstorm.

going to have to get rid of my little nest of completed sticky notes :( but it’s getting too big and the project is done.

anyway! reclaiming productivity culture to do more hobby instead of more work!!

[winged-wolf-s-collection-of-arts]

Come and Trick or Treat! Open all year :] tags updated Nov. 28

Intro?

Howdy!!! Pronouns —> she/he/they (no preference)

Wolfy (wolf character I doodle sometimes) is my blog mascot. Unreliable sleep schedule/forgetful/message notifs don’t show up- so if you need me uhhhh keep yelling until I notice? Hdfjhfg..

I love drawing, listening to game playthroughs, and looking at cute animals! Feel free to send an ask about anything.

——

Tags!!

Art tag: wolfys art

Cool art by pals: grand showcase of arts

Doc says something: wolf chats

Art months stuff (all of them!! general tag): Just Here To Have Fun

Kiley and co stuff (commonwealth): little wastrels

second fallout au (island, custom location for an rp): badlands crew

Misc fandom tags (unreliably tagged but I will start now): qsmp, good omens, fallout, bg3, whump stuff, starfield, doctor who

important/tagged consistently: psa, boost (urgent news), reblogging for future reference (general tips), promo (friends news), flashing images, bright colors

"You have to reblog!" And similar phrases: rebait

Minor misc tags: drawing tips, writing tips, cooking tips, fave,

Note- these are not tagged reliably: ghouls/zombies, blood, skeletons, suggestive (no explicit things here), bugs and spiders, guns, drug use, smoking, all caps

——

Unimportant ramblings v

Time stamp: Jul 15? Heeeeey. Hello. So I did take a break from art till like last week, but uh, the health has been a roller coaster-

I kinda cleaned the whole house compulsively multiple times. I dunno what to say about that. Went from the compulsion to be Always Drawing to Always Doing Chores, so it wasn’t really a break? It felt amazing for a little while, but I am so stressed inside ahagfhkhdf. Anywayssssss.

I realized that promising to do the art requests Later is just me returning to old behavior, like just... keeping it on the line so I /nobody gets a direct answer *when* it will be done. That makes my brain think it’s in the clear while the other artists are worried and unsure what’d happen. Andddd even though I did have the motivation to do animated group projects for a little while, a small thing completely knocked me into dropping everything else.

I know I *could* try to join more projects or do more requests, I’m not in a safe headspace where I wouldn’t be set off, and nobody should risk their project’s deadline for that-

TLDR I’m going to Try and fix things up on my end and stop myself from joining anything (that depends on Every artists effort). Even if I feel alright *now* I know there’s a lot of risk for *later*- just don’t let me in anything big and important even if I ask, please- for at least a year-

—— Timestamp: Slightly Before August

Gonna Try Ink Demonth this year- I’ll limit myself and not do something too detailed again hsdkfjzhk.

——

Timestamp: August 17

[cackles evilly] Ink Demonth Ink Demothhhhh- this is the furthest I’ve ever gotten in an art prompt month ever! ...even though I’m technically not on theme (Fallout instead of Batim). Trying to pace myself by alternating between a simple and detailed style. Hrrrh the yeehawgust prompts (cowboy theme!) look so cool but I won’t double up- but I will try to participate in the September AI-less-Whump month. (gore and dark subjects! I’ll tag everything properly of course.)

Also I’ve come to a realization- A dream of mine has been becoming famous for my art/animations, but uh- One, it isn’t realistic, and Two, posts getting like 200 notes freaks me out cfjhxfgh- Well, doing stuff for friends and others is just as cool. Y’all are awesome ^w^

——

Timestamp: Aughust ninteen

Wait actually I don’t need a reason to block people. I don’t need to tell you either. It’s been getting a bit too chummy around here (reference)

——

Timestamp: September 4

I didn’t finish the art month, but I got to day twenty! That’s pretty good. I’ll finish it up this month. I also gotta work on some ref sheet, finish a birthday gift, andddd clear the askbox.

——

Timestamp: September 29

Oeghhhh.... too many ideas, not enough time. So many comic ideas. And I gotta tamp down my love of angst dvhkdfbnsf, make sure it makes sense first!! Decided to keep the aus separate. Normal Game Stuff is happening in the Badlands mainland, uh, I don’t know what ending we’d go with but anyways. ....hm. Maybe there’s no sosu and the factions are not making any progress. But probably’d lean towards Institute ending if I had to choose now.

Hm. Well. Maybe I did not think. Uh well in the other au Kiley’s with the Minutemen, and Nate’s with the BoS, so... well I’m not sure how this is gonna go- I’ll keep drawing memes till I think of something cool.

——

Timestamp: October 24

Well uhhhh. I dropped the October art challenge pretty quick, unfortunately. I’ll continue in December maybe? I said I’d do a few days of Halltober, and I don’t want to go back on what I said.

I keep continuing and dropping the au stuff, but that just proves I can continue a project! Maybe!! Maybe. It’ssss a comedy, so uh I’m not worried about making a Deep Story or anything. It’ll be fiiiiine. Just little slice of life stuff.

I wwwwwill get caught up on requests and gifts-

[melodyofthevoid]

Writing Wrap Up 2022

So... this year I want to take a bit of a different approach. The last 2 years I’ve wrapped up my writing by posting one from each month and thanking y’all for reading, which I thought about but then... it hit me. 

I haven’t really posted anywhere near half of what I’ve written this year. 

It’s a little insane to me, I’ve posted a shit ton these last 2 years, racked up an impressive word count for sure, but this year was. Different. For a few reasons. 

So this is just going to be me contemplating and examining how my writing has changed this year, if you’ll indulge me. 

Talking with a friend, the year itself stuck out to me. 2022. 3 years since I started writing at all. To keep the story brief, I wrote my first work on winter break back in 2019 at the behest of my bestie @/freshfruitforrottingvegetables (I’ve @’d them enough times crediting them for this) and posted it on ao3. I’ve pretty much been writing non-stop since. Invader Zim got me into writing, and the community I found there boosted me and gave me an absolutely incredible support system. 

But, other than the occasional reblog, this isn’t really a Zim blog anymore. I certainly don’t write about it as much, if ever. Now there’s a few reasons for that, not the least of which being almost 3 years is the longest I’ve had a fixation in a while. I’m amazed it held on as long as it did. Second was... I finished the royalty au. It’s almost hard to remember the beginning of this year but back in March, I posted the last chapter of “Isn’t it A Trial”, wrapping up the project I’d spent nearly two years trying to complete. My first big project. 

And it was done. 

There were a few other behind the scenes things that led to distancing from IZ from a writing standpoint but those aren’t really the point of this. 

For the first time since starting this journey, I was... on my own, so to speak. It was weird, scary at times even. Hell, I’m still very much adjusting to doing entirely OC work. The circle of people I’m posting to isn’t a huge thriving fandom, it’s just my mutuals, and those who’ve come to love the Ocean Idiots crew. I throw in some of my (and @/shmunter’s) ocs in as well, but that’s what I’ve been writing from y’all’s perspective. 

As I said, that’s not even a fraction of the stuff I’ve written in my own time that I don't post. Before, I was writing for an audience on some level. They were always stories I wanted to tell, but there was also the excitement of putting them in a pool of collaboration and community. That there were others. Now, these are my stories almost (really key word of almost, I’m not claiming sole ownership of anything) entirely. 

So I’ve had to adjust. I’m still adjusting. I’ve had a lot of days where writing had been a real uphill battle for me and I questioned the quality of my work. What does it mean now that I’m writing for a more narrow group? Is there a point to it? Am I less inspired now? How can I tell I’m growing or not? Can I tackle the scope of project I want to tackle next? Each time I think about it, it gets more and more daunting, overwhelming even. 

That one post about “Aww did you scare yourself out of doing a project” plays often in my mind. Very often. 

It’s going to be a weird year, even few years going forward. Graduation is on the horizon, with the prospect of maybe moving out and making it on my own from here on. I might move away, I might stay home. There’s a lot of unknowns and within that is what I’m going to do with my writing as well. It’s a part of me now without question, but what form will it take? Will I take? 

Much to consider.

So for this moment, I’m choosing to focus on celebrating the changes that have happened, the work I’ve done this year. The ways I’ve improved, the small leaps into different original ideas that I’ve had. I’ve had a ton of fun with making aus for just myself and like- one other person. I had a blast writing for my old DND characters too! There’s a lot to be proud of, and that’s what matters. 

I want to see what I can do, and I think sticking to some short stories while I shore up and figure out what to do with my bigger concepts might be where I go. Maybe not. Who knows. But at the end of the day, we’ll find out when we get there. Thank you, all of you, for your support, your comments, and your encouragement this year. It’s been a good one, for all its ups and downs. 

[bleachbleachbleach]

4/1-4/29/2023

I think I said something about April shaping up to be very rough, which was indeed truer than even I projected. The number of things that got done outside of my true life (that is, my Tumblr life) is actually ridiculous, and I am presently living in a state of constant, nauseous exhaustion. But after every big project I’d collapse for a bit into my Notes app and I’d be like, “oh god, okay, I am alive, I am capable of feeling excited and of having thoughts my soul exists ONLY IN THIS NOTES APP but it’s here.” I’ve been trying to crawl my way back onto Tumblr this weekend, but it's very overwhelming. ;S

After my first big deadline I wrote a bunch more of Hinamori’s chapter. Working on her chapter is rough because it’s all vibes and nothing happens, so I have to settle into it, and this has not been a month for settling. But I really like what I wrote, and I think it came out exactly the way I wanted it to, which anyone familiar with the Creative Endeavor knows is usually not what happens. There’s really just one big interaction left for the chapter and a coda, but I’ve put it off because Hitsugaya is making that scene very hard.

Last Saturday/today I got very invested in Renji 2. Renji 2 is. A terrible decision. Like, I am pretty sure it is objectively bad, and my committing to the bit that is this chapter is less a reflection of me thinking it is a good idea and more a reflection of my having come to terms with it being a bad idea and being fine with that. It’s a bad idea because it’s the second chapter of a fic I very much want people to read, completely filled with reasons for most people to not want to do that. It doesn’t particularly move the plot forward, and there aren’t even that many character interactions because Renji spends most of it in his own head. Most of the interactions that do happen are half-scene half-summary in the past-perfect tense of memory, which is convoluted and distancing and for wHY. 

Renji spends fully 1000 words thinking about Junrinan’s calendar system--including a digression into Byakuya’s separate calendar habits--and that is after other introspective kaleidoscopes about weirdly-constructed Gotei fire towers and futsal. 1 0 0 0 w o r d s. About a nearly irrelevant calendar system *he has never used * and in fact *does not personally understand* for a district *he is not even from.*

But the reason I’m currently staying the course is because I think the guiding question here is “Why does all of this exposition belong to Renji?” and I actually do feel like it is answerable. Like, he’s narrating all this because he is the only person who would. If he is marching through Junrinan of course he’s going to toss up literally everything his bff Momo has ever told him about this place. And I feel like if Renji had nothing better to do but march and think, what would result really would be a disorganized explosion of all of the things. I think he’s just trying to get his bearings before they gallop into the unknown. 

“Why do we need to be privy to his process?” is a different question, but I’m enjoying it and I like thinking about Junrinan’s calendar system. I still think that Chapter 2 of anything is not the best place to go full send into the weeds of stream of consciousness ephemera, because that nonsense needs to be earned, but here we are. He is effectively the main POV in the second half of the fic, so maybe he can have this chapter as a treat. Since it’s not the only time we hear from him, maybe making it through Renji’s explanation about calendars is rewarded in the future by coming back to the POV that’s he’s set up here.

[nancypullen]

Friday

Hey there, cool cats and kittens!  It’s Friday, not that it matters in my world, but happy Friday to those who celebrate.  I hope your weekend exceeds your expectations.

We don’t have any plans here at Sassafras Woods (I’m trying to make that stick), though the mister will be trotting off later to take some festival photos.  The volunteer fire department in one of the little towns nearby (Preston? Ridgely? I can’t remember.) is having a carnival and fireworks.  It’s a fundraiser and the folks around here are so starved for any sort of entertainment that they’ll hand over their money for it.  I’m not knocking it. I’ll just say that so far the festivals, carnivals, celebrations, etc on the Eastern Shore have oversold and underdelivered.  Honestly, I want to try to sell the town of Denton on the idea of starting a pumpkin festival but the residents here don’t seem to want to do anything.  I could post a sign saying that I’m giving away bags of money at noon on Market Street and people wouldn’t show up.  I don’t get it.  Anywayyy, I don’t have any plans for the weekend and Mickey is going to stand in a field and get photos of fireworks. Our boys, however, have BIG plans. My sweet sons are leaving on a “brother trip” to Berlin and Prague.  I’m so excited for them and I can’t wait to hear their tales when they get home.  I love so much that they’re still close. Those two are my whole life and I can leave this Earth knowing they’ll look out for each other.  I mean, I don’t wanna’ leave yet, but my heart is peaceful about my boys. Mission accomplished. That got a little maudlin, I swear I’m happy. Moving on, last night I went to a class at The Foundry.  It was a mosaic class and, although I’d been to one before, I wanted to get out of the house and bask in the company of women.  Even if they’re strangers, the company and conversation of women is still a pleasure.  So I went in without a plan (dumb) and the time in class is really too limited to create anything wonderful.  For some reason I’d been thinking about bees, and that lovely quote from Ray Bradbury,  "Bees do have a smell, you know, and if they don't they should, for their feet are dusted with spices from a million flowers."  I imagined a bee with wings made of a million tiny flowers. What I had time and materials to construct....was not that. This was when I was about 3/4 finished, it looks like a cross-eyed, drunken monkey did it.

It still needs to be grouted, but I’m not sure I’ll bother.  You just can’t make a masterpiece in an hour, especially when you don’t know what you’ll have on hand to work with.  I really needed a lot more pink and red.  Oh well, it was still a fun time and the ladies in attendance were a delight.  I really like the teacher of the class, she’s got a lovely way about her.  Our projects were done on the glass of old picture frames, and I’ve got plenty of those around here.  Goodwill always has plenty as well.  This might be a fun project for the winter. I could work on a large piece with loads of flowers and bees - maybe even a queen bee at the top, complete with crown. I could devote hours to it over the cold months and have it ready to hang in a window by spring.  There’s something very satisfying about snipping tile and glass.  It’s even more satisfying to take broken pieces and put them together to make something pretty.  I really want to do more, and practice makes perfect right?  Might be fun to do a swirly, magical Halloween piece.  Oh dear, I’m going to buy more supplies....this is how it always happens.  I spent a bit of time in my porch spot this afternoon, thinking and having conversations with myself, and three hummingbirds were buzzing around chasing each other through the zinnias, battling for territory. Delightful. It makes my heart so happy to see them.  I ask for so little - birds, bees, and peace & quiet.  Okay, also books, chocolate, cats, popcorn, bubble baths, art supplies, and flowers.  I’m starting to sound high maintenance.  I mean, if I’m making a list, I also want world peace, no pain or suffering, and for every child to feel loved, safe, and hopeful.  Can’t hurt to ask, right?  Did you hear me, universe? 

I don’t have a thing to say today, yet here I am rambling on in no particular order. I should probably shut up and get productive. I have a bench to paint for the master bathroom, no word yet on when the flooring installation will happen.  I ordered and received a shower curtain and a couple rugs.  It’s so dang hard to do this all online.  I could drive into Easton and poke around Target, or I could go the other direction and drive an hour to Dover and check Home Goods, Kirkland’s, and another Target - but that is unappealing.  Ordering online and getting the colors just right is a gamble.  If you know me, you know how I am about color.  So far neither the shower curtain or the runner to go in front of the vanity showed up looking exactly like they did online.  Their photos, my monitor, all of the above can lead to variations in color.  I’m trying very hard to let go of it-has-to-be-exactly-right and wrap my head around this-is-fine.  I am the only one that will be bothered by a shade of green that is slightly too yellow or a coral that leans a bit too pink.  No one else will care.  It’s not like we’re on the Christmas home tour.  I guess I just feel that when I put time, effort, and money into a project, I want it to be exactly what I envisioned.  I’ve painted more furniture and cabinets since we moved here than I have the last ten years.  I never thought I’d say this, but I’m sick of painting.  Of course, I just ordered a quart of my favorite Heirloom Traditions paint for the Halloween bathroom.  New flooring is going in there as well which means that orangey wood vanity will look especially out of place.  I didn’t want to do cream or white, I didn’t want to do black because the floors will be darker, so I settled on this color and these knobs for the cabinets (think pumpkins!).

Won’t that be fun?  So I’ll be painting one last vanity and then I’m surrendering my brush and roller.  I’ll bet Mickey hates it when he sees me walk past him with painter’s tape.  He has to admit that he loves the end results.  Especially when I show him the before and after pics.  Like the powder room! Before (yuck!!)

 After. Not perfect, but better!

I can’t rave enough about Heirloom Traditions paint.  If you have followed this blog since 2007 (holy cow!) you know that I’ve tried just about every paint under the sun.  This one is hands down THE BEST.  If you have anything you’re considering painting - from your front door to your kitchen cabinets, go look at their Instagram or website and be inspired.  Speaking of Instagram, I recently tried to revive mine. I hadn’t posted there in a nearly two years.  I didn’t have much to post.  I scroll Instagram for recipes and jokes, and I wasn’t contributing either of those.  Lots of people post really beautiful photography - that’s not me either.  Come find me there and maybe we’ll make some fun together.  I’d love to follow more people.  Don’t get your hopes up for my account though. I think I’ll try making more reels and see how that goes (probably as well as we all expect). https://www.instagram.com/njpullen/ It’s nearly 4 o’clock and time for me to prep a bit for dinner.  Tonight will be quick since Mickey is running off to that little carnival.  I’m making fish tacos and roasting some fresh corn from a local farm stand. I’ve got a creamy slaw for the tacos already in the frig, so I just need to get the fish flavored and get a couple of limes juiced. A few minutes in a skillet while the corn is in the oven, warm the tortillas a bit, and we’re in business.   Good thing I’m getting him ready for the festivities because as I’m writing this he’s sawing logs on the sofa across from me.

In the afternoons our house is like that scene from Sleeping Beauty where the fairies use their magic to put the whole kingdom into a slumber.  Sassafras Woods (is it sticking yet?) must be under a spell.

Alright, I’m just getting silly now.  I have to go fill the hummingbird feeder and then cook some fish. Livin’ life on the edge, as always.  Have a fabulous weekend and treat yourself - whether it’s a much-needed nap or a girls’ night out. I’m going to pick up two new library books, so I’ll be knee-deep in a “Mid-Atlantic Gardening” binge.  Don’t try to keep up with me, I’m wild. Sending out love, getcha’ some. Stay safe, stay well. XOXO, Nancy 

[sincerely-sofie]

Check-in for October 27th, 2023

I spent 3 hours straight working on a single assignment that was meant to take half as long as it did. It took all my brain power to complete it, and I couldn’t get much tangible work on personal projects done as a result. Still got some planning done for business stuff, though. And I’ve been gathering inspiration and references for my dating sim / visual novel project.

The visual novel doesn’t have a premise yet, but I’m building up some creative guidelines to help me generate ideas. I also am planning out some scope limits to keep the size manageable. With NaNoRenO coming up in March, I’m hoping to get all the prep work done at a leisurely but consistent pace over the next few months, then finish up the project over the course of March. That’s very wishful thinking, but you know what they say: “A goal without a plan is just a wish.” And if my wishing and daydreaming about goals is given the planned-out structure of a checklist and schedule, I can maybe, possibly, hypothetically complete this game.

I still need to think of a premise, though, so I better get cracking on that.

I’ve had a few ideas for visuals styles— like making scrapbook-y visuals with collages, journaling ephemera, and paper textures scanned in from real life, combined with actual photos for backgrounds. I’ve also had ideas for atmospheric flair, like typewriter noises playing whenever characters “speak.” Not sure if any of these would appear in my final product when I don't know what the story would even be, but I am very excited either way!

After doing some research on different visual novels, both ones I've played and ones that I've wishlisted or thought looked cool, I've tentatively decided I want to make a wackier sort of visual novel--- one that would preferably be a dating sim of some kind, but I'm not picky. I once drafted the ground work of a cryptid dating sim as a teenager where romance-able options included an angsty gray alien, a spoiled rich boy lizardman, a reverse-spiderman situation heroic vigilante mothman, and an eldritch god named Paul. That project is definitely too big for me to make with my current skillset and patience, so I can't take it on as a project quite yet--- but I can dream.

I'm tempted to make a dating sim based on some OCs in a setting I mentioned previously that is populated by bug people, but that's pretty niche, and I'm honestly not too sure if there's an audience for that sort of thing--- especially if it's essentially an extended inside joke with myself. Even so, I am tempted. So very, very tempted.

One day I will make finalized art of these characters, and everyone will know why they're peak examples of blorbohood.

That being said, I have other ideas that could be adapted to a visual novel or dating sim. One of them involves a tech enthusiast whose computer gets possessed by a malware demon, another details the player going on a blind date with a stereotypical "Hero of Prophecy" fantasy character, and another one is a playable bedtime story. I'll spend some time going through the archives of concepts and try brainstorming some new ones. Still going to need to take it easy for a while--- I've got a busy month coming up with NaNoWriMo, and I don't intend to burn out ahead of that--- but I'll be working on the concepts and required research at a gentle pace!

Seriously, though, fingers crossed on the possibly-completing-a-game thing! I finished a pilot / minimum viable product of an RPG titled Momther a while back and it made me realize I had the chops to actually enjoy game dev as a hobby--- I just have to stay focused and committed, ADHD be darned. If I manage my health well, both mental and physical, that should be nice and doable. I got this!!! Kinda!!! Hopefully!!!

Sincerely, Sofie