#and I feel like I'm so behind my peers
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#I feel like an utter failure#I don't know how to be a woman#I am biologically one but I don't understand my femininity#I don't know how to do anything without be told that I'm being too masculine#and I feel like I'm so behind my peers#granted my peers are all a year older than me because I skipped a grade so it's only natural that they would all be doing things#before I can#but my whole life every single person I've ever talked to for more than 5 minutes has commented on how mature I am#but why can't that maturity translate over to real experiences#I want to be able to drive. I want to be allowed to get a job.#I'm sick of being the girl who was homeschooled online until high school and who doesn't know how to functon#I just feel so alone in all of this because I know literally no one else in my situation#ramblings of an artichokie
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job hunting is just so :bleh:
#it is awful when it's replacing a job you love#i want to stay at the parks!!! well maybe not after this week but it's just been a rough week#but eventually i gotta move on.... eventually....#it's also scary to be like 'yes i can be a healthcare provider please hire me' i am just a 24 year old child#it's going okay like I have a phone screening on wednesday for a pretty lucrative position but like idk man i'm nervous!!!#I should be excited but i am nervous#not to mention the fact that I'm starting so late in the season but like i had to take care of some ill family this summer#not to mention my mental state in april??? in the gutter. i was an absolute wreck#so this break has been nice but now I feel like I'm starting behind my peers#(I'm not i have my whole life to catch up but bleh)#okay enough rambling lmk if i need to tag this#( ooc. )
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also yall know that thing about how people with adhd will forget you exist if they don't see you, that is very true on my end.
#i am impulsive with my words and don't really take all the time the impact they could have#never want to be rude or offensive in anyway but sometime i am#i value my experiences over other people to much and need to just close that part of me when interacting with people with different lives#i got a bias towards lighter skinned black folks but not in the way that you'd think#i view the struggles of not being black enough or really poc enough as nothing serious sometimes which isn't great and i gotta work on that#like my reasoning behind it is because i have always been to dark to black my hairs not good my i'm inferior because of my brown skin#the amount of colorism i faced growing up from adults reading oh i'm not black enough people called me white looking always read to me as a#brag in a way like its not but it sometimes feels like that especially living in the states were looking less like the ethnic group you are#in is the standard of beauty#its fuck up i read the colorism that lighter skinned folks face as something good its self hatred#plus another part of me sits and gets mad for them like fuck you for trying to denying my hertiage and the shit i have faced because i'm no#dark enough or the struggles i face isn't as bad as you've experience.#i only really take issue with the i'm not poc enough or someone called me white because shit i wish thats what i got instead of being calle#monkey or burnt or made to feel ugly because of my skin or not family because i wasn't the same color as my dad or mom#can't be putting my shit onto people#its not right and its unhealthy#something i gotta work on#will say though i was called white growing up for speaking a certain way and liking rock music and not being black enough in personality bu#i can't imagine how that must feel because of just how you look#i felt isolated from my peers for alot of reason but having my appearance being so upfront in that is different and i feel for my#lighter skinned peeps. i got alot of shit from adults on my skin tone than my actual peers thankfully.
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the utah brain rot actually gets worse the closer I get to 25 I need to die
#omg kiera no one cares#should i be m*rmon for real this time as like a bit but the bit is i feel like I'm so far behind my peers more than i used too and it is#actively killing me from the inside out#and there is no cure except blowing your brains out
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Hmm. That sure is brains. Don't like em but they sure are fucking exist
#feeling like the only one in any of my groups that has been consistently drawing the past few years with little to no change#awled rens vents#I've always had- issues about the fact it seemed my art style was uniquely unwanted or something#I think I've had all of like- 10-15 commissions in my whole online career#and a solid chunk of them have been out of pity of some kind#I've always felt like I put in more effort towards lifting other people's work then people put into mine#and there's been periods where it felt like any complements I've gotten have been less detailed and just there to be polite#I've watched all my friends have these massive dynamic shifts meanwhile I pick out a peice from 2020 and a peice from this year-#and it barely looks at all different#even the shit I'm proudest of some of the time#it's not even maybe I'm bad and everyone's to nice to say it anymore it's entirely#maybe my arts just got nothing to be said about it#maybe the reason I'm struggling so much to be even noticed is there's nothing to notice#idk man I'm just having a Time and Circumstances aren't helping at all#best I can describe it is feeling like I'm being left behind in some way compared to my peers#then again#what else is new?
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Ok I feel like this is gonna be like super problematic or something but I feel like I should just get it out. I welcome comments, discussion, reblogs, and tags.
I find it really hard to talk about my own culture, because white (as in American/Canadian/British/Australian/etc) people talking about their culture has become such a taboo. And understandably so, to be fair, because due to colonization, there are a lot of cultural things that are no longer specific, and are now global in several other cultures that wouldn't otherwise have them.
I often see people in fandom from so many different countries and cultures take characters and put them in their culture: wearing certain clothes, eating certain food, doing certain activities, and so on, and I LOVE it. I love people exploring their love for their own culture and their love for their blorbo(s) at the same time. There's so much joy in it.
There's been several times where I wanted to join in, but felt like I couldn't because I "don't have a culture", as a white British person. But that's just completely untrue? I DO have a culture. It's not one that most people seem to care about, but I do. Sunday dinners, chip shops, pantomimes. Despite growing up in England, my dad is Scottish and I visited his side of the family up in Aberdeen on a regular basis, so kilts (they were worn by most if not all of the men at the first two weddings I remember attending) and bagpipes (I LOVE the sound, they're beautiful when played well) are also on there for me. My accent is a part of my culture too, and I genuinely love my accent (my strange little combination of RP and East Midlands that has people asking me if I'm Canadian...). Don't even get me started on the food (yes it's pretty bland and looks very boring but done right it's tasty and it's filling, yes i think it's stupid as hell that the british empire colonised a bunch of places in order to get spices and now a lot of white people in the UK don't even USE most of those spices)
With a little more thinking, I could probably list a lot more, but I feel like I can't so much as mention it off-handedly without someone showing up out of the woodwork to make fun of lower-class British accents (like when people say "bri'ish" (although I enjoy it when it's used in a neutral and fun way) or when people just completely fuck up and bastardise whichever already-discriminated-against English accent they're making fun of this time - honestly I think RP could stand to be made fun of a bit a lot more), or to make fun of the spices issue (like I said before YES it's stupid, do you think I colonised those countries myself????) and make horrid over-the-top gagging noises whenever "UK" and "food" are so much as mentioned in the same sentence.
I mean look at this. I just wanted to talk about my culture and how it affects me and I feel like I have to have such a huge lead-up and THEN I still feel the need to explain that the british empire sucked and that a lot of our food is quite bland etc etc etc.
With other (non-English speaking/non-white) cultures, people can just mention things and dress their favourite characters in traditional clothes and it's lovely and celebrated. Please keep doing this. Please put your favourite characters in your culture, there is NOTHING more joyful in fandom spaces than spreading your love of your own culture through characters that you also love.
I'd like to join in, is all. I'm not asking for the red carpet to be rolled out for me, I just feel like someone's gonna attack me if I mention my faves enjoying my favourite British food.
But even asking this feels like I'm being White(tm) and throwing a tantrum and whining "WHAT ABOUT MEEE?!?!?!?!" - this is NOT what I'm trying to do here. I don't need attention for it. Honestly the less attention I get the better, it feels like. I've seen some british hate on here that is genuinely horrible and disturbing. And sure, it's deserved for all of the colonisation and the many attrocities, but I didn't choose to be born here????? YES it's terrible but I'm tired of being the punching bag of everything that my country (countries?) have ever done wrong.
Is this entitled of me? It doesn't feel like it, but reading through this post, it kinda looks like it. Am I just insane and paranoid? Maybe. I don't know.
#shapes.txt#i have lots of thought-out ideas about my blorbos but i'll never share them unless and until there are no more awful british ''jokes''#i've seen so many people reblog posts about [bri'ish ''people''] and like. bro? that's awful#all the stuff i mentioned in this post has reasoning and basis behind it#but the quotation marks stuff is just a horrid way to talk about other people#like it makes me very deeply uncomfortable when you use it to talk about like.#french people and american people and my friends and my family#i'm not proofreading this#if you wanna argue against or talk about anything that i've said here then please feel free#you can talk in the main reblogs if you want. or in the tags if you prefer peer-reviewing#pls specify if you're uncomfortable with me screenshotting your tags with a reblog (where applicable)#i want to talk about this i feel like i'm going insane i don't want it stewing in my brain any longer
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I knew senior year was gonna be bad but I didn't know it would be this bad :(
#I wish I could take just like maybe one gap year to figure out college stuff when I'm also not juggling 10 other things#idk how any one manages to do this I feel like such a failure all the time :(#I know I'm so far behind my peers on this I know I'm not good enough or proactive enough for any of this#I am not cut out for college or school and the major I'm going into is difficult and competitive and idk why I even chose it#^ planning on majoring in computer science cause I wanna eventually do game development stuff... except my mom doesn't want me to do that#cause she thinks I wouldn't be able to make a lot of money in that field.#she want me to go into the more “respectable” computer science fields and it's so frustrating to have her constantly shut down my dreams#idk how I'm gonna even do in a computer science course :( like I'm good at math and coding and stuff#but surely I'm not that good right? like am I really good enough??#pankakes rambles
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People often told me that as long as I tried my best, even if I failed, it'd be okay because at least I gave it my best shot and like. Yeah okay I get what they meant by that but holy shit did it fuck me up for a lot of my life. I constantly was yelling at myself for not trying hard enough in any and everything, especially school. Especially especially before my ADHD diagnosis. I didn't realize until pretty recently that my best shot is not something I can force out. That just trying at all was more than good enough. And just because I didn't give something my best doesn't mean I didn't care or deserved less than others. It was just genuinely difficult to even get up to try. Because just trying is more than enough. I just didn't realize it then.
#sorry to the 3 ppl who will see this im just feeling down tonight#im super behind all my peers and everyone's out being self sufficient and i still can't finish highschool#my dad's being a bitch about it too so yayyy#ugh#rant ish#I'm repeating to myself that just trying IS more than enough but i still feel terrible despite knowing it's true#*sobs on the floor*#rant post#< just in case#just feel like i don't deserve to be as happy as i am now#well. I'd uh... hardly call myself happy rn but as... financially stable ig? as comfortable? sure. good enough descriptors#auugh all my irl friends have jobs and at my age my older sister was already in college but here i am. still in the same place as before#hopefully I'll feel better tomorrow
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birthday... Soon™️... _(:\」∠)_
#not upset but also not excited tbh...#i feel like a failure more than anything#i'm turning 30... which isn't bad but like#i feel like i'm still a prisoner to my anxiety and insecurities#like yes i've made considerable progress over the past few years#but i still feel so far behind my peers
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Please, please be considerate of your fat friends' needs and limitations. Fat bodies are heavy to carry around. I move about the world slower than my thin peers, and I've often had to choose between pushing myself to keep a pace that takes absolutely all my energy, or being left behind, when walking in a group. I don't always feel safe to ask that everyone walk slower, because there's a prevalent idea in society that fat people need to exert themselves as much as possible at all times in the service of weight loss, and that we never "really" need rest, therefore it's a good thing whenever we're exhausted. Fat people and thin people alike are taught that fatness is a flaw, one that fat people ourselves are to blame for, so we're not entitled to any accommodation or consideration. A friend of mine who is fat recently told me about a dinner party she went to where the chairs were far too small for her and she was sitting very uncomfortably. After the meal she politely suggested moving the party to the couch, but the others didn't want to. She spent another couple of hours in unnecessary pain, and didn't dare tell them about it. I love my thin friends, but some of them just don't realize that I weigh probably twice as much as them, and yet I balance it all on the same size feet and carry it on about the same size bones. I'm like if they had a whole other them to carry around at all times. Why would that not have an impact on how I function? Please - take us into consideration when we're part of activities. Ask us which activities work and which don't. Adjust the pace so no one has to be dry heaving and sweating barrels on what's supposed to be a casual walk. Make sure venues have seating that fits us. Make it safe for us to speak up if we need something. When we do, don't treat us like we're the problem. Finally: yes, we have heard of losing weight. Even those of us who might (and many never will, whether you like it or not), won't do it on a moment's notice. If your response to "fat people deserve accommodations" is "what if they weren't fat though", you're playing a fantasy game. It's pointless. We are fat and we are here and we do partake in society. Work with that.
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Being a waitress/bottle girl at a club that caters to monsters.
While serving a table of orcs their drinks you hear whistling from behind you and turn towards the table of werewolves calling you over,
"C'mere Doll, why don't you spend some time with us? It'd be better than looking at those ugly green faces."
The rest of the table barks out laughter and all you do is look back at the table of orcs to gauge their reactions, just incase you have to call the bouncer to stop another brawl.
"Aw yeah cus your slobbering snout's much more attractive ain't it?"
One orc yells and the others hurl their chosen insults across the table as well. The werewolves grumble and snarl insults back and you just stand in the middle of this, trying to think of an escape.
"Maybe she ain't at your table for a reason!"
One of the orcs claims boldly and all the other orcs voice their agreement while the wolves clearly disagree.
"Why don't we let the lady decide" A wolf with greying fur suggests with a smirk and both tables seem to agree on this being just a wonderful idea.
"Well love? Who's better then? Us or the mutts?"
"Aye! The real question is who can treat her better, isn't that right Doll?"
The attention of the two tables are now on you, waiting for your answer with baited breaths and half hard cocks probably.
"....I prefer minotaurs."
This deadpan response takes a few seconds to sink in before a chorus of disagreements and further arguing commences but you're already making your way towards the bar, you're sure they don't mind watching your tiny skirt bounce as you walk away.
That answer wasn't random, it's actually been the only thing you could think of all day. Your Minotaur coworkers cock reaching deep into your stomach while he pounds you into next week. You think that might be why so many customers have been extra forward with you today, they could probably smell the need on you.
You finally make it back to the bar, getting ready to end your shift and finally get some relief-
"You causing trouble?"
You whip around to see just the monster you were so desperate to see. He stands at the edge of the bar in his bouncer uniform, his sleeves hug his biceps very nicely and you nearly purr imagining what that arm would feel like around your throat. He gazes down at you with a knowing look.
"Me? Oh, I would never."
You look up at him and play with the collar of your shirt, successfully drawing his eyes to the generous amount of cleavage your uniform provides.
He huffs in amusement.
"They don't seem to think so."
He tilts his head and massive horns towards the two tables you just left where the occupants are all peering over one another to see the interaction between you and the bovine beast in front of you.
You scoff, take his arm and turn him around so that he's only focusing on you.
"I'm off. You're off in 15...maybe you could come by my place again....or something?"
You nervously bite your lip and he doesn't know why you're getting nervous.
You weren't nervous when you sent him that video of your stuffed cunt clenching around the Minotaur themed dildo you've had since before you were seeing eachother. You definitely weren't nervous when you sent him another video 6 hours ago of you stuffing said dildo into your perfect pussy in the employee bathrooms before slipping your tiny panties on over it, keeping the silicone deep in your cunt.
He pulls out his keys and leans down closer to you,
"Be ready when I get to the car."
You nearly squeal in excitement as you grab the keys and reach up to kiss his cheek. As you skip out the door to his car he looks back at the two tables just to revel a little in the disappointed grumbles and huffs emitting from the groups as they go back to their drinks.
𓄀
#monster fucker#monster x human#monster x reader#monster lover#monster fucking#exophelia#monster boyfriend#terato#minotaur x reader#minotaur x human#Minotaur#fem!reader
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i just cried for an hour over my homework now i fell liek throwing up
#i hate i hate i hate i hate#these classes are making me feel like im actually not smart at all. i just managed to trick everyone around me i had to pretend to be smart#but pretending only gets you so far now i'm failing and falling behind fast and all my peers are excelling and i don't know how to keep up#my ninth grade reading level at age 8. a lie. my understanding of thoughts far too complex for an average seven year old. a lie.#i don't know how to do this anymore. i can't pretend any more. i don't know how i'm supposed to do this#personal#complaining here because i cant tell anyone who actually knows me
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Hi! I just saw that requests are open, yeah!! I'd like to request an Alastor x fem!Reader where Vox has a crush on her so he sends her a set of different tea flavor as a gift. The problem is that these contain a drug that inhibits the person (thanks, Valentino). Basically, his plan was to wait for her to drink the tea and then show up at the hotel and seduce her so he could have her for himself (my boy thinks she loves him, lol). The problem is that she had graciously offered the tea to Alastor, who drinks it. Vox asks her if she enjoyed the tea she lies saying it was delicious so he immediately shows up at the hotel but ends up finding Alastor who is being super affectionate with her, revealing his true feelings for her. Eventually Alastor attacks Vox as soon as he sees him forcing the other to flee. Fluff and comedy, basically. xD
Alastor x Fem! Reader x Vox | Tea Time Troubles
Warnings ⚠️: Cussing, drugs, controlling and manipulative Vox, out of character Alastor.
"I dunno 'bout this Voxxy" Valentino said, handing him a baggie of the drug, a weak aphrodisiac lining the walls of the bag.
"Don't worry about me Valentino, I'll be fine" Vox reassured him, holding the bag up to his screened face. He smirked deviously as he put his hands behind his back.
"But you tell me all the time 'bout 'public image' and all that shit." Valentino retorted, crossing his lower arms against his stomach.
"Don't you worry your pretty little face about it Honey" Vox sneered, rubbing his cheek in a falsely affectionate way. "Vox is a big boy and can handle himself. I just gotta put this into some tea bags. (Y/n) WILL be MINE."
"Ugh" The moth groaned, taking a puff of his cigar,"She's not even worth it. She hangs out with radio, fossil trash. If she was good shed know who to choose. Besides, I'm better than she is, right?"
"You're wrong." Vox said, his left eye radiating hypnotizing waves out of anger,"(Y/n) is perfect. She's everything, and she will be mine."
Vox's demonic laughter could be heard across the building, sending chills down anyone who heard it's spine.
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"Honey!!" (Y/n) exclaimed, holding up the box of tea that arrived at their house,"Your tea shipment came!"
Alastor, who was reading the paper at the kitchen table, looked over to see his dear (Y/n) carrying two large cardboard boxes.
He teleported over, making his shadows place them atop of the counter. His keen eyes narrowed at the second box, seemingly almost identical to the first one.
"How peculiar!" Alastor said, tapping his cane on the second box, almost poking it as if it was a foreign object.
"What's peculiar about it?" The fellow deer demon asked, peering over at the box her partner was so intrigued by.
"I did not order two shipments of tea from the catalogue this month!" He replied, his smile tightening in irritation. Could someone be trying to plant something in this hotel? Trying to hurt any of his friends, his beloved, or him?
"Maybe it's a promo box?" (Y/n) suggested,"I mean, you are a loyal customer of theirs. Maybe they want you to try a new product, I hear that's the new rage."
"Ah" Alastor replied, walking closer to the counter to rip open the second box to be met with a letter and a large box of tea.
"Thank you for your loyalty Mr. Alastor. We're reaching out to our most loyal customers to give this Promo box to! We're asking that you try our newest flavor, a (your favorite flavor) but with a twist! Despite the erratic sounds at night in Hell, this tea should help you fall right asleep! If you enjoy it, please promote so on your beloved Radio Show!"
"I was right!" The doe said, looking up at her partner,"They must've given it to you because they know you're famous and can promote their tea! Very smart people, I wanna try one tomorrow!"
"Tomorrow? Why not today my doe?" Alastor said, looking down at his partner.
"My stomach isn't feeling the best. Charlie's cake wasn't fully cooked through, but I didn't want to be rude and not eat it. Especially because no one else was!"
Alastor chuckled, petting her sensitive ears. "Now now (Y/n), you should've listened to me! I know all!"
"Al..." She said, batting her eyes up at him,"Do you mind trying it for me? I wanna know if it's good, but I don't want to throw up in my sleep!"
"Why should I?" He inquired, smirking down at (Y/n). "It seems like this predicament could've been easily avoided my little doe! Hahaha!"
"Please" She softly asked, smiling at him back.
"I suppose I can try one cup of it." He said, sitting down at the table, fully expecting (Y/n) to make him the cup as he finished reading his paper.
She giggled at him and began to start the kettle. Moments like these can't be replaced, a docile and homey moment between the two of them. (Y/n) loved seeing this side of him. The Alastor side of him, not the Radio Demon.
(Y/n) opened the smaller box that was enclosed in the large one, picking out the first tea bag. She smelled the bag, the fumes of blended herbs wafting in her nostrils. It smelled lovely, she would've to drink one alongside Alastor.
But she held back on picking up another bag, knowing its sleeping effects. (Y/n) really didn't want to throw up while in her sleep, and potentially on Alastor, who would be as knocked out as her.
Sighing, she finished preparing the tea, pouring it in Alastor's favorite teacups, the one (Y/n) gifted him on their second anniversary many years ago.
She walked back over to him, placing the teacup on his saucer, putting the sugar cube in as well.
"Thank you dearest" Alastor said, his eyes skimming over the newspaper,"I shall be in our room in a moment, why don't you go ahead and get in your nightwear?"
"Alrighty" (Y/n) replied, patting the back of Alastor's chair. That was something the two of them did, (Y/n) knew when to touch Alastor and when to not. Still wanting to show him affection, she'll pat an object close to him.
Alastor gave her a soft smile before returning his focus to the newspaper.
The doe walked up the stairs in the hotel to their shared room. She got in her fluffy pajamas, completed each and every step to her skincare routine, and crawled into bed with a book.
The silence was only broken by the occasional turn of a page, this was (Y/n)‘s daily quiet time, as Alastor liked to read the paper before turning in for the night.
This normally is for about an hour, but tonight it was a mere 30 minutes as the door busted open.
The doe yelped, her skittish nature causing her to flinch at the sudden jolt of noise. Her partner flittered into the room before crawling on top of her, his eyes droopy from the affect.
“Hi sugar” He said, burying his face in the crook of her neck. His ears were pressed against his head as he affectionately nuzzled (Y/n). Alastor grabbed her waist and flipped her on top of him, allowing him to bring her closer to his body, her chest atop of his.
“Al-Alastor?!” (Y/n) exclaimed, tensing up. What has gotten into him!? He’s not one to ever make such…bold advances.
“Oh my love” He said, a dreamy lilt in his voice,”you’re just perfection incarnate. Such a lovely little fawn you are.”
Blushing heavily, she let him rest himself on her, snuggling contently. It was rather peaceful, she did not know where this sudden chance of behavior came from, but it certainly wasn’t the worst by far.
(Y/n)’s ears perked up hearing a notification sound ding from her phone. She slowly grabbed it to check what it was.
Alastor was not very keen on allowing this sort of technology in the house, especially knowing Vox is over all of it. So they made a compromise, he’d take out the camera and microphone and she could have the phone.
Seeing it was a message from Vox, she opened it.
Vox: “Hey sweetheart, I pulled a few strings and got a shipment of some new tea of (your favorite flavor) that was being tested. How did you like it baby?”
(Y/n): Oh, it was good, thanks!
Vox: Just good? You sure sweet stuff? Wasn’t it so good you could just kiss the lips off of the person who got it for you?
(Y/n) sighed, shutting her phone off and curling up with her lover.
“I think that’s a yes!” Vox said, throwing his hands in the air ceremoniously. He quickly put on his best bow tie, in hopes it would get taken off by fingers other than his, and made his way towards the Hazbin Hotel.
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Vox searched through each room until he found the one you and Alastor shared.
He scowled at the door, seeing a heart with the initials scribed on it “(Y/i) + A”
Pathetic. He could give you so much more than that. He could give you the most advanced technological sign known to mankind just for some silly initials, not some shitty hard with nearly illegible handwriting.
He opened the door, his signature smirk dropping as he saw Alastor, his arch nemesis (in Vox’s eyes) peppering small little kisses all over (Y/n)‘s face, making her giggle.
“WHAT THE FUCK?!” Vox yelled, his face was blue-screening.
Alastor took one look at the fellow Overlord and let out a long string of laughter, sitting up as he pulled (Y/n) into his lap.
“Vox?! What are you doing here?!”
“YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE THE ONE TO DRINK THE TEA!! AND THEN YOU’D BE MINE!!”
Alastor hooked a arm around (Y/n)‘s waist, looking at his opponent across the room.
“This is my doe, my love, and we all know if she would’ve drank the tea, she would’ve always chosen me.”
Lets just say, the power around the Pride Ring went out after that comment.
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Word Count 1,524
#hazbin hotel#hazbin#hazbin hotel spoilers#hazbin hotel x reader#hotel hazbin#hazbin hotel fandom#hazbin hotel fanfiction#hazbin hôtel#alastor fanfiction#hazbin alastor#alastor hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel alastor#alastor x reader#alastor#alastor x doe reader#x reader#fem reader#hazbin vox#vox x reader#the vees#hazbin hotel vees#hazbin hotel vox#the vees x reader#vox#vees#vox hazbin hotel#vivziepop#vivzieverse
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ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴀᴛᴇʀ ɪꜱ ꜰɪɴᴇ.
Cregan Stark x pregnant!fem!reader | no use of y/n | warnings: pregnancy fluff, the tooth rotting kind <3
₊˚ ‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵ ˚₊
“There you are.”
There he was. Watching from the threshold of their marriage doors—the only separation between their traditional chambers—Cregan gazes over the form of his bare wife, who was enjoying a nice bath in her alcove. His eyes moved slowly, deliberately, taking her in and committing her to his memory like it was the very first time. A sleepy smile graced her perfect face, head leaned back against the edge of the tub. Just barely breaking the surface of the water was her stomach, rounded and taut with his child; her wrist had been resting on it as he entered, a letter held loosely in her hand. “I am.” He murmured, feeling himself relax just at the sight of her, and he crossed the room to sit on the chair by the tub. “How are you feeling?”
“Much better now. Jace wrote to me.” She holds out the small paper to him. Cregan hums at the mention of her brother, and his eyes scan the words on the page, quietly snorting after a few moments of reading—he was as funny as he always was. Nothing new, really, in the letter. He’d mostly asked about how his sister was faring, questions about the pregnancy, and gushing over his coming nuptials to Baela. But it all brought a smile to his wife’s face anyway. Cregan felt guilty sometimes, knowing how far Winterfell was from King’s Landing. She missed her family often, but even more now that she was having a child. “He’s eager to be an uncle.” He muses, handing it back to her. “The second he learns the babe is born, he’ll be outside our quarters pouting.”
“Yes he will.” She laughs and places it off to the side. “Only a few weeks more.” Cregan peers down at her stomach, expression softened now, his hand reaching out to gently pet her bump, fingers caressing the skin. “The water is almost cold.” He notes, a slight chide in his tone. His wife nods along, obviously aware. “Mmhm. The maesters say hot baths aren’t too good for the baby—warm is fine, but it becomes tepid fairly quickly. I’m comfortable though, I promise. Supper was divine. I was craving that stew all day. And grapes, but mostly the stew. I missed you.” A pleased smile lifts the corners of his lips at her soft ramble. He loved hearing her speak—just as much as she liked to prattle his ears blue. “I assure you, wife, I missed you even more. You and our babe. How is she doing?”
“Are you truly still convinced we're going to have a girl?” She muses. Cregan gently splashes her in mock offense, tutting lightly at her teasing. “I know we're having a girl. I can feel it in my bones, wife.” He leans in, pressing a less-than-chaste kiss against her mouth, tongue just barely slivering past her supple lips. She tasted like something sweet. “Cake?” He asks, head tilted even though it wasn't really a question. She grins. “Sara brought the letter up here—and sneaked me some frosted scones from the kitchen. I love your sister.” Cregan rolls his eyes. “I should've known you two would scheme behind my back…and not leave me any. I'm your leige-Lord.” His wife reaches out to pull him in again, not satisfied with the previous kiss, and their mouths clash together nearly with a mutual clack of their teeth. "Get in." She was pulling him down into the jasmine scented water, hands fiercely tugging at the laces of his leather doublet. "This water is so damn cold—" He barely had a moment to remove his boots. "You'll be fine." What Lady Stark wants, she gets.
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#house of the dragon#cregan x you#cregan stark fanfic#cregan x reader#cregan stark x female reader#cregan stark imagine#cregan stark x reader#cregan fanfiction#cregan stark fluff#pregnancy
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fem!reader with a size kink and alastor just teases her about it. It starts off innocently before angel dust just teases and teases her about it until alastor decides to have fun with it.
a/n: this is prolly very ooc alastor but uhhhh this is fun sooo 🩷
word count: too many i don't even know
tags: 18+ smut nsfw, alastor has a big dick, unprotected sex, alastor cums a lot, slight cervix fucking (?), teasing
alastor first notices your inclination for pointing out he's much larger than you when you're always grabbing his hand. he easily covers your hand with his and it gives you butterflies every time. you think he doesn't notice your flushed cheeks, but alastor keeps a close eye on your emotions. he likes to make little snide comments but other than that, it's mostly harmless.
it evolves into him coming up behind you and resting his arms on the top of your head with ease, barely even straightening his back to do so. "hey!" you whine, crossing your arms over your chest. "im not an arm rest, y’know?" alastor just laughs, tugging gently on your hair to pull your head back. your eyes meet his, and your body tenses. the look he gives you is intoxicating, the way he easily peers over you makes you want to shrink into him and let him envelop you.
"yer not?" angel chirps in, breaking you from your daydream. "coulda fooled me. thought you were a coat rack, especially the way you hang onto mr tall dark 'n handsome over there like ya life depends on it." you gasp at his words, immediately trying to put distance between you and alastor but his arm hooks around your waist. "h-hey this isn't fair..." you huff, but alastor's chest is warm against your back and it's making your head fuzzy. "you like 'em big, dont'cha sweetie?" angel snickers, enjoying the way your cheeks go bright red.
all you can do is wiggle around in alastor's grasp until he lets you flip around and face him. you waste no time in burying your face in his chest, hiding the pure embarrassment written all over it. "oh come now angel, the poor girl can only take so much." he laughs when you put your fist to his chest. "i bet she can take more than you think..... alright i'm done i swear!" angel leaves the room cackling, too proud of himself. "alastor... please..." you sigh, your face still pressed against his chest.
he lets out a soft chuckle before petting your head. "just a little friendly teasing, hm?" he steps away to give you some much needed air. "i wouldn't want to break you, my dear." alastor all but pouts, making you audibly groan. you can't take it anymore, the desire burning a hole straight through you. you grab his hand and drag him from the hotel lobby into your own room of the hotel.
closing the door to your room, you're about to speak when alastor surprises you by pinning you to the door. "you want to be broken, hm?" his voice, shrouded in static makes your skin crawl and your heart rate pick up. "i-i..." all of your confidence from earlier fades from your grasp as alastor towers over you, deep red eyes seeing straight through you. "your words, darling. tell me that you just can't wait for me to take you, to push your limits."
his breath is hot on your ear, threatening to burn you. "w-what if i can't take it?" you whisper, words shaking just as much as your body with how much adrenaline is being pumped through you. alastor's mouth finds your neck as sharp teeth gently nip at your skin. "i think that's what you're hoping for, my dear." his words end in a sharp hiss, his hips pressing you into the door. and then you finally feel it, alastor's hard cock against your body.
oh fuck.
"this is long overdue, please forgive me if my patience seems short." he mutters into your skin, barely containing himself from biting your soft flesh. with ease, alastor lifts you off the floor and begins carrying you to the bed. the effortlessness sends an ache straight to your core. laying you down, you look up at him with wide eyes. it's such a head rush, you almost don't notice how he lifts your ass up just enough to remove your shorts and panties.
your breath hitches at the realization that you're mostly bare and yet he's fully clothed. "can i..." you swallow hard, hands trailing down his body. "i-i wanna touch it... wanna hold it." alastor bites back a groan, not sure he's ever heard you say something sexier. its a frenzy to remove the remaining clothing, neither of you wanting to waste any more time.
you're practically drooling by the time alastor's cock is freed, knowing damn well that this wasn’t fitting. the head of his cock alone would probably stretch you to your limit. straddling his hips, you finally wrap your fingers around his aching cock and moan aloud. "jesus christ al..." you breathe, eyes wide while you slide your hand up and down slowly, like you're engraving it to memory. alastor's body shudders, seeing just how small your hand looks wrapped around him. flicking your thumb over his leaky slit, you smear precum down his length.
"you can play later babe, fffuck, no more though." the gravelly sound you're used to hearing in his voice seems to be doubled, anticipation swirling in your gut. alastor's hands reach around to cup your ass, and flips you onto your back. everything about alastor was overwhelming, his size, his attitude, his cock. your head spins as alastor presses the head of his cock to your entrance, you can already tell it's barely going to slide in even with how soaked your cunt is.
"i-i don't-" alastor shushes you, easing into you inch by inch. your thighs shake, and you're sure there's no way you'll be able to take it all. "ngh, alastor." you whine, the ever growing stretch starting to make your stomach hurt. "ah ah, you're doing so well darling. so tight." he sighs, watching his cock disappear into your sweet wet heat.
your eyes roll into the back of your head, his cock pressing snuggly against your cervix. "thats it, good girl." he almost wants to laugh as he pulls back out, seeing there's still a few couple of inches that aren't covered in your wetness. "we're going to have to work on this, aren't we?" you reach your hand down and feel where your bodies are connected and moan. "t-there's still that much?" and alastor does laugh this time. "don't you worry about that, we'll train this pussy to take every inch."
each thrust of his cock makes your stomach ache, and the feeling of being so full keeps pushing you closer to the edge. "s-soo big, 'm gonna..." you cry out as alastor's hands find your hips. he picks a brutal pace, you're not sure how you'll be able to walk tomorrow, but the stretch and burn of his cock forcing his way deeper and deeper has that coil in your stomach about to break.
and when you do cum, it's the most explosive orgasm you've ever felt. "a-alastor !" your vision goes black, and you almost miss the feeling of alastor's release. well, you would have missed it, but the sheer amount of seed he spills deep against your cervix is immediately leaking from your abused hole. it seeps down to your ass even, covering you in such a way you'll probably never forget.
breathing heavily, you lay comfortably still under him. alastor places a gentle kiss to your forehead before removing himself from the bed. "rest, darling. i will be right back." you’re half asleep by the time he comes back with a warm towel, and even more so when he pulls the blanket over you. he waits until you're sound asleep before he goes to shower off.
"well, i suppose i owe angel a thank you..." alastor hums to himself.
#hazbin hotel#alastor smut#hazbin hotel alastor smut#hazbin hotel alastor#alastor x you#alastor x you smut#alastor imagines#alastor hazbin hotel#hazbin alastor#alastor x reader smut#alastor hazbin hotel smut#alastor#alastor x reader#hazbin smut#hazbin hotel alastor x reader#alastor x reader imagines#hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin hotel x you#hazbin alastor x reader
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More Hybrid!Poly TF141 x Reader pleaaasseeeee? 🥹
(ps, love your writing!)
OwlHybrid!Poly TF141 X Reader
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Thank you for reading. You're all so sweet for the support! I'm negl. I didn't expect people to read it, haha. I'm so shocked by the love.
Thankyou @bina-passion-fruit for the morning after idea! See her reblog of the first part for the gist. And please feel free to send in scenarios you could see these birbs end up in!
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The next day IS tense. The atmosphere has never been this suffocating.
Not in their own home.
Gaz sits curled up in Johnny's frame at the breakfast nook, head resting on the older mans shoulder, a deep frown setting into his face. His eyes are crusted a little, nose still deep red and cheeks puffy. He looks thoroughly exhausted, like he hasn't slept.
They all do.
Johnny has a cuppa sitting untouched. It's luke warm by now, but he can't bring himself to drink it. Face mirroring Gaz's, glaring down at the coffee like it has personally offended him. Every couple minutes, he huffs deeply, eyes darting away from the cup to glance around as if in thought, but he inevitably ends up gazing lost into his cup again.
Price and Simon are at the stove and counter. Quietly discussing things that need to be done for the day. There's lulls of silence in their convos, moments where their minds wander to the dove sleeping down the hall. Price feels guilt eating him alive. He's hunched a bit, chin tucked down in a clear sign of forlorn. Simon continues to run a hand up his spine soothingly, pressing closer to offer as much comfort as he can. But he can't deny the stabs of agony he, himself, feels.
It's raw. It sucks.
And Simon feels so fucking lost in this moment. He wants to gather all his mates in his arms (even you) and shush, coo, and coddle until there's nothing but purrs, chirps, and preened content lovers piled into a nest. He wants to scent you and rub you in their things to let you know you're safe and cared for now. He sees the trauma, the fear when Johnny reached for you. The self soothing you do by rubbing your arms.
He sees you. And in doing so, he sees himself. A scared fledgling unsure of the world, burned and bitten, spat upon by those who swore to love them.
Someone hurt you.
Tore at your feathers until you were too scared to take flight. And if Ghost ever gets a name he'd tear the motherfuckers wings from their spine.
The pitter patter of footsteps approaching the kitchen lifted them from their haze, four pairs of eyes snapping to you as you sleepily shuffled in. You wore a simple oversized t shirt and sweatpants to bed, hair rumpled from sleep, eyes and cheeks red and puffy from sleep. They can see the tear streaks dried from last night and it breaks their heart all over again.
Price makes the first move, taking a small step towards you with a plate held out. Buttered toast, sizzling eggs, and red srawberries sit on top.
"G'mornin' sweetheart, hope you slept well. 'Ve cooked some breakfast. There's coffee in the pot. Help yourself." Soft eyes gaze down at you. He's hunched inwards a little, head tilted down and the sweetest smile gracing his face. You feel very flustered, keenly aware of the 3 other sets of eyes intently watching.
Taking a deep breath, you offer a half smile, grasping the plate with slightly shaky hands.
"Uhm..t-thankyou, sir"
"John."
Wide doe eyes peer up at him, shock clear on your face. He feels his lips quirk at the sight.
"My mates call me John. Not sir. We're equal here, okay? You call me by my name." When his hand reaches out, you don't swat it away this time, only watching in marvel as he tucks hair behind your ears, crows feet aligning his kind eyes.
Taking a shaky breath, a soft, geniune smile spreads across your face, eyes darting to your feet and back up as you turn to the table. Johnny and Gaz are staring right at you, wings perked up. Gaz is quickest to his feet, pulling out a chair, a handsome grin settling on face. Pretty boy, you muse to yourself. Sitting down with a grateful smile and a hushed thankyou.
A hand reaches past your shoulder, jarring and unexpected. You whip your head up to see Simon offering a placate smile down at you, other palm face up to soothe. You tilt your head owlishly, blinking at him. It causes the older mans lips to quirk up on one side, brown eyes softening as he gazes down at you. He nods his head towards the table, and upon looking back to your plate, you realize he sat down a fork...oh.
Tears welled in your eyes, and a sniffle broke through. Simon's eyes widened a fraction, quickly backing away with both his hands raised, palm up.
"'M sorry luvie, didn't mean t'startle you."
It was sincere, filled with guilt. A small sob breaks past your lips. Johnny whines high in his throat, reaching out for your hand across the table, only to stop short, unsure if you'd appreciate the contact. His lips are once again pulled down, eyes saddened.
"Bonnie?..." Murmured so quietly into the air, the boys hold their breath, pulling their wings in to appear smaller. You wipe at your face again, sniffling, eyes glossy and cheeks rosy. And when you finally lifted your head, the last thing they expected was to see the brightest grin painted across your face, pure happiness shining, tear streaks lined with joy.
"No one's ever been so kind to me...thankyou. All of you."
Oh, dove, you haven't seen anything yet.
#imagines#one shot#cod x reader#cod#johnny mactavish x reader#idk how to tag this#johnny mactavish#john price x reader#john price#simon ghost riley x reader#simon ghost riley#kyle gaz garrick#kyle garrick x reader#sadge#sadge boys with sadge feelings#hybrid au#poly 141#poly 141 x reader#tf 141 x reader#tf 141#task force 141#im not well#men in love#theyre in love your honor#teletubbiesask
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