#and I don't want to be upset or angry with her when I don't know how long she's got left
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masonmontz · 2 days ago
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hellooo everyone :) i hope you like it, this was incomplete for a long time and i did my best to try to get it ready and post it
REMEMBER: english is not my first language
angst/fluff word count: 3,5k
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It's not that you hate Mason's friends, far from it, but you just... don't fit into their lifestyle. 
You and Mason have been together for a few months now and yet you still feel out of place in his reality, especially since his friends act like you don't exist. You actually enjoy talking to them and you think they're fun, but it annoys you when they invite Mason to parties as if he were single, or talk about other girls in front of you and even ask Mason's opinion about them.
Mason never made you doubt his feelings for you, but all of this has been building up and making you stressed.
It was Wednesday afternoon and you were at Mason's house working on your computer, Mason had training and he wouldn't be back for another hour. Erik changed today's training time ‘cause he had an appointment and so Mason would be at Carrington until 7pm. The doorbell ringing startled you, you weren't expecting anyone, not even Mason's family.
You were surprised to see Woody standing at the door of Mason's house with two women behind him, and apparently he thought it was strange that you answered the door.
“Y/n, hey, I didn’t know you were here” Woody spoke and scratched his head, a little embarrassed.
“Hello, Woody. It’s good to see you” you said and then looked at the two model-like women behind him. “Mason is still in Carrington, do you need to talk to him?”
Woody walked up the two steps of the stairs and you let him in, and the two women he was with followed him. Of course, Mason's house is also the house of his best friends.
“Yeah, actually we had planned to go to a party today. It's Stella's birthday” he pointed to the blonde woman in the red dress, and she smiled at you.
“Happy birthday Stella” you smiled at her and turned to Woody again. “He didn't tell me anything, Mason and I arranged to go out for dinner.”
“Well, he confirmed that he's going to the party, I hope you don't mind leaving dinner for another day.” 
“No, of course not, I'll just wait for him to arrive so I can change” you said and pointed to the gym clothes you were wearing. 
“Actually, Y/n…” Woody started with a tone of voice you didn't like.
“All the seats at the party have been reserved, I can't put any more names on the list, I'm sorry” the brunette woman spoke for Woody, and you were speechless as the three of them stared at you standing in the middle of the living room in Mason's house.
“Yeah, of course” you smiled, even though you were angry at Woody for doing the same thing he always did, acting like Mason was still single. 
“I hope you don't mind Mason going alone, but he's my friend and I really wanted him there” Stella said and you agreed. “Oh, Woody said you weren't very nice but you are.”
Woody's eyes widened and you glared at him, watching him swallow hard. You smiled fakely at Stella.
“Yeah, I don't think Woody is very cool either and I hope he knows that” you spoke at the same moment the door opened and Mason walked in, and he heard you talking about Woody. “Have fun tonight.”
You grabbed your computer from the living room table and went upstairs, trying to take a deep breath while knowing everyone was staring at you.
“Woody, what are you doing here, mate?” you heard Mason asking his friend. 
“It's Stella's birthday man, you remember how much fun you two had, right?” was the last thing you heard before the bedroom door slammed shut. You took a deep breath once, twice, three times, even though it was difficult.
You were sick of being treated like you meant nothing to Mason, and he wouldn't even tell his friends to stop it, and that was what hurt you the most, he cares so much about his friends that he doesn't realize that you're the one who's getting upset about all this.
You packed your things and put away your computer, there was no way you were going to stay there any longer. You heard laughter from downstairs and it made you even more frustrated with Mason. 
It wouldn't be nice to leave Mason's house with all of them staring at you in the living room, but you also didn't want to wait until they left, which could take hours. You honestly wanted to cry, but you hated feeling helpless and crying in front of someone, even if it was the person you gave your heart to.
Fuck him and his friends.
“Mate, I bought a ticket for a party in Ibiza during the international break, we have to go. I bought your ticket too” Woody said to Mason, and you could see that they were sitting on the couch. Mason was in the middle of Woody and Stella.
“I have to ask Y/n if she wants to go and-”
“Bro, she hates us and she won't want to go, you have to go alone, it will be fun.”
“Yeah, I'll think about it” Mason spoke softly and you snorted.
“Who knows, maybe I'll go to Ibiza with you guys? Polly can go too” Stella said and you walked down the stairs, you didn't want them to see you but it was impossible to leave without being noticed. Mason's gaze went to your bags and he noticed that you were leaving.
“Where are you going?” he asked but you didn’t look at him, you continued towards the exit door. “Y/n?”
Mason followed behind you and closed the door when you were both outside, and finally you looked up at him and he saw the tears in your eyes. 
“I’m going home” you spoke softly and Mason lost focus for a few seconds. “You can go to the party, I won't stop you from going.”
“You’re going with me.”
“Oh, am I? I’m sorry, your friend was pretty clear when he said that there’s no space for me there” you said and felt a tear fall, but the last thing you wanted was to cry in front of Mason.
“He didn't mean it, you were rude to him and said you don't like him and-”
“What?” you weren't believing what Mason was saying. It wasn't the first time he defended Woody or Declan or Benny from you, and he never defended you the same way to them, he just accepts what they say about you.
“Look, Woody is one of my best friends, you know that. If you love me, then you should like them too because they’re my family.”
“Yeah, you're right. But maybe they don't love you as much since they don't like me.”
“What are you saying?”
“You always let them say whatever they want about me, Mason. You never stood up for me, ever. How do you think I feel when my boyfriend lets his friends talk about other girls or bring women over to his house while I'm here?”
“They are my friends.”
“I have friends too, Mason, and they've never disrespected you the way Woody or Declan do to me. I heard Woody saying that you and Stella had fun, do you think it didn't hurt to hear that? They don't think I'm enough for you?”
“I love you, that's enough” Mason spoke with his hands in his hair, huffing.
“Yeah, only in your dreams will I spend the rest of my life putting up with this.”
“Don't go away, let's talk, there's no reason to make this drama, love” Mason tried to pull you away but you pushed his arm away, shaking your head. “Y/n, please, let's go inside.”
“No, Mason. You don’t understand” you said frustratedly, finally crying and sobbing. “I don't want to hear any more bullshit about other women while I'm around. I don't want to know who you were with before me, they have no respect for me and you don't do anything about it. Declan cheats on Lauren all the time and encourages you to do the same, you think I don't feel stupid? He's a jerk and she should dump him, and it hurts me when you don't say anything about it because you're their child's godfather and you think it's funny that he has been cheating on her the whole time.”
“I don't think it’s funny.”
“So you hide very well that you care about her or Jude” you wiped your eyes, looking at Mason who looked sad. “I really think you're not ready for a relationship, maybe you really love your friends and they’re your priority, but the Mason I knew is not this guy in front of me.”
“Hey, no, c’mon, I love you, I didn't know you felt that way.”
“Exactly, you care more about them than me.”
You turned your back and Mason tried to pull you towards him, but you refused and cried as you walked away. You looked at him one last time and saw Mason's eyes full of tears, but you chose to turn around and leave.
“Y/, don’t go, please.”
“When you realize what's wrong we can talk again.”
Mason watches in shock as you get into an Uber without looking back, it's like he's trapped in a nightmare but he can't do anything because he's tied up. He stood there for several minutes staring at the street until he felt raindrops and went into the house, hearing Woody and the women's laughter as soon as he entered.
“Mase, you can change your clothes now so we can go, what do you think?” Stella asked, but Mason's mind was far away. He looked at Woody sitting on the couch with Polly sitting on his lap, and for the first time in months Mason realized the reasons that made you leave.
“I'm not going, you can go” he muttered before turning his back and heading towards the stairs.
“Mate, what do you mean? Y/n told us to go and have fun” Woody said and Mason turned his face in time to see his friend get up from the couch and walk towards him. 
“Shit, Woody, she broke up with me. Please go away now, I don’t want you here for now” Mason realized that you really did leave. He needs to be stuck in his own misery for a while. 
“That's why we should go out, man, so you can forget about her, like old times.”
“Get out.”
“What the fuck?” Woody really wasn't understanding Mason, and it pissed him off, because now everything was obvious and Mason was the only idiot who didn't realize he was losing you. “What did Y/n say about me? She's an idiot, don't pay attention to her.”
“Don't you dare talk about her like that again” Mason pointed a finger at Woody, who was startled by Mason's tone. “Get out of here, all of you.”
Mason didn't wait for an answer and went upstairs without looking back, he took his phone out of his pocket and called you, but you didn't answer any of the times he called, nor did you even respond to the several messages apologizing that he sent.
Mason threw himself on the bed and sighed, how could he be so stupid? It was all so obvious in front of him, but Mason was more concerned about his friends than the woman he loves.
He called more than twenty times and you didn't answer any of the calls, nor did you respond to his multiple messages apologizing. Mason's heart raced as he thought he may have lost you forever because he was childish and stupid. 
Panic washed over him and Mason gasped, he ran his hands through his hair in despair and anger. Mason couldn't blame you for deciding to leave, he understands, but saying his heart wasn't hurting was a lie. Mason never felt that way, ever.
A tear ran down his face, then another and then another, and before Mason knew it he was sobbing and thinking about everything you had said to him. It was so stupid that he didn't realize how you felt about Woody or Declan, and Mason couldn't even judge you, because in all these months he really was a terrible boyfriend and only now could he realize it.
He actually let his friends take him to parties, he didn't mind when Woody brought women to him, and Mason never thought about hooking up with them, but now he realized that he wasn't respectful and broke the trust you had in him. And what about Declan? Mason couldn't even think about his best friend having sex with multiple women while he has an amazing person at home waiting for him, plus a son who is the most beautiful child Mason had ever seen. 
Mason feels ashamed that he never said anything to Declan, and he feels ashamed that he didn't protect Lauren and Jude. And he is ashamed because you don’t trust him and broke up with him because of the things he did. 
“Please, please, answer me.”
Another rejected call. Mason is about to despair. 
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It's been two weeks since you and Mason broke up, and honestly it's been really hard to go through the days without talking to him and trying not to think about him.
You failed every day, of course.
Mason respected the message you sent asking him not to call you, but deep down you wished he hadn't given up. Every day you wonder if he's out partying with Woody, having women all over him and falling in love with the smile you love. It breaks you every time.
“It's not an exaggeration if he listed all his friends as if they were more important than you” Kiera murmured while you were lying down watching a movie, she went to your house because she didn't want to sleep alone, her boyfriend was traveling and would be back the next day. “Honestly, I love Mason, maybe this will make him realize what he did wrong and you guys can get back together.”
“Yeah, but I think he realized he prefers parties and Woody, he didn't call me anymore.”
“You asked him not to call you.”
“I know, but that would show me that he cares about me. Am I wrong?”
“Of course.”
 “Do you think I should call him?”
“You miss him, right? You want him to call you but you asked him not to, he is just doing what you asked and respecting your time, if you are ready to talk, talk to him.”
“Yeah, I think you're right.”
But you didn't call, not the next day or the day after that. You knew Mason was traveling with the team because the next game was far away, and you didn't want to take your problems to him.
You missed him so much you could cry. You missed him when you woke up in the morning and missed his kisses on your neck, you missed having breakfast next to him and laughing at his stupid jokes, you missed him bothering you or lying next to you just watching some movie that neither of you paid attention to.
It was very cold in Manchester and the streets were already starting to have Christmas decorations, and that made you happy, it's the best time of the year. You went out for a walk in the late afternoon, the sun was setting and some people were walking along the streets. 
It was crazy, but you swore you saw Mason's car parked at the pie shop when you were at the door, your favorite in the whole town. Mason also knew how much you liked chocolate pie, and he would always buy you a pie when he passed by.
But it wasn't crazy, ‘cause Mason came out carrying a box of pie just as you were about to climb the stairs to enter the store. You could have fallen if you weren't holding onto the railing, and Mason's eyes widened when he saw you. 
He looked so handsome, his hair cropped because of the cut on his head, and he was wearing sweatpants and slippers. You couldn't help but smile when you saw his comfortable clothes.
“Did Ace eat all your sneakers?” 
Mason breathed a sigh of relief when you asked, and the smile he gave you melted your heart. 
“It would be too much work to put on sneakers, I preferred to go out like this” he walked down the two steps and stopped in front of you, your heart raced and you could feel your own hands shaking. Oh my God, it's Mason, why are you nervous? 
You were silent for a few seconds, but Mason didn't take his eyes off you.
“So… how are you?” you asked, and Mason pulled you aside as a couple walked out of the pie shop. His touch on your arm sent you over the moon, and that was enough for you to realize that the time you needed was over.
“Honestly? I'm a mess” he confessed and you felt a pang of guilt, but you knew he needed that time too. “Do you want to talk here? Are you ready?”
“Hum- no, yes, I’m ready, but I don’t want to talk here” you spoke and he agreed. “We can go to my house. Are you going to take the pie to someone?” you pointed to the box in his hands.
“No, I bought it for myself” Mason scratched his head in embarrassment and you raised your eyebrows. “I don't know, chocolate pie reminds me of you and I was missing you.”
“Just like I'm watching Game of Thrones like crazy, then.”
“Oh, you said it was boring” he accused you, grinning, and you shrugged as you followed Mason to the car.
“You know I only watch ‘cause of Daenerys” you stopped next to Mason as he opened the car door for you, his scent reminded you of how much you missed him and you couldn't help but hug him, almost making him drop the pie box. 
“I wasn't expecting that” he murmured as he left a kiss on your hair, hugging you with just one arm and you held his waist tightly, afraid that he would leave. “Oh God, I missed you so much.”
“I missed you too, sorry” you let go of him and smiled, feeling like a part of you was whole again. 
You walked in silence to your house, and even so it wasn't bad, the smile you both had on your lips already said a lot. 
“My mum is missing you, she almost hit me for not taking you to London with me on the international break.”
“Did you tell her what happened?” you asked as you grabbed two plates for you two to eat the chocolate pie that looked delicious. 
“No, I said you were busy” he sighed and shrugged, but Mason still looked wary. “I was a bad boyfriend, Y/n, I’m sorry.” 
“It’s fine.”
“It’s not. I should never have put other things first, you are the most important person to me and I hate myself for disappointing you and making you distrust me.” 
You just looked at Mason. He wasn't the same man you left three weeks ago, the man in front of you recognized his own mistakes, and that was clear and enough for you. 
“I'm sorry for the things you went through, I was an idiot and didn't realize it. I should never have let Woody take those women to my house or treated you the way he did, I should have stood up for you.”
“It's okay, I forgive you.” 
Mason sighed in relief when you approached him, and this time he hugged you so tightly as if he would never let you go. 
And you didn't want him to let you go again. 
“I love you. I love you so fucking much, Y/n, oh my God, how did I manage to go three weeks without talking to you or seeing you?” Mason put his hands on your shoulders and shook you, making you laugh. 
“I had no one to fetch water for me at night.”
“Did you just miss me because of that? I'm taking this pie home and you're not going to eat it.”
“Actually, I think we can eat while watching Game of Thrones?”
“I knew you liked the series, you just didn't want to admit it to me.”
Mason took the pie into the living room and you grabbed a blanket from your bedroom, ready to snuggle into it for hours and hours. You walked back into the living room and Mason was smiling on the couch as he waited for you, and you couldn't help but smile and feel like everything was okay again.
Mason hugged you as you laid down next to him, he was warm and comfortable and even you didn't understand how you managed to spend so much time away from him. 
Mason was your home, and not even so many days away would change that.
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ggreactionsandscenarios · 21 hours ago
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Hi can you do a smut with CEO! Karina and female! reader who is her secretary ?
Karina x Reader
Chinese couch
Late nights.
It was starting to feel a little bit too usual for Jimin to work until night lately. Being the CEO of a worldwide renowned company for sure comes with the prerogative but it was slowly messing with her sleep schedule and nothing good happens when Jimin is sleep deprived.
As her assistant you witnessed it all, her temper slowly getting worst and worst, the number of people getting fired slowly rising up.
Usually you wouldn't say anything, afraid to loose your job and even more afraid to face an angry Karina but it's been days and you're slowly feeling responsible.
It might be a tiny bit because of the S.O.S. looks from all the people getting kicked out that pass by your desk everyday.
Anyway you figured out you might as well try to calm your boss down before becoming the very last person employed here.
So when the clock hit nine, you made your way to her office. Stopping right in front of the door, contemplating whether you should enter or not. After building up the courage, you finally decided to knock.
But of course the door opened wide right when you were about to, revealing your boss in all of her intimidating self. Her face only a few inches away from yours.
"Please tell me you weren't coming to tell me some bad news, because I swear I'm gonna kill myself if anything goes sideways again."
You couldn't help but chuckle a bit at her frown but were fast to remember she was your boss.
"No actually I was coming to ask you if you'd like to eat with me, I'm ordering."
For a second there Jimin was bewildered, not expecting the offer but she was fast to put on her serious face.
"I don't have time to eat I have better things to do."
She was about to go back to her office when you suddenly grabbed the door keeping it opened.
"Chinese it is."
You don't know what's gotten into you, it's like you're trying to get fired.
Karina stared right at you for a minute, probably waiting for you to back down but you didn't.
"Fine."
And with those words she went back inside letting you choose what to order. You settled for a restaurant that was just down the street, hoping it would be delivered faster.
Sadly it didn't, you waited for almost an hour at your desk before the delivery guy came up.
You went to Karina's door knocking on it carefully, not wanting to interrupt a phone call.
Even though you got no answer you pushed the door opened, after all you did warned her you'll be treating her food.
When you entered the room you were surprised not to find your boss in her chair where she would always sit.
She was laying down on her luxurious couch, she probably got too tired to notice she was falling asleep before it was too late.
You set the food on the table before shaking her shoulder to wake her up but it didn't work.
She did not move nor did she said anything. She actually remained so still that for a second you wondered if she might have passed out of exhaustion.
It's only when you got close to her face to see if she was breathing that she suddenly opened her eyes.
"Getting comfortable there I see, you should have told me you weren't talking about food when you ask me for dinner."
You frowned not knowing what she meant until you took a closer look at your position noticing how you were pretty much all over her.
You took a step back and an other just to be sure.
"Excuse me for checking if my boss is still alive."
You tried to play it cool but you knew you were blushing at this point so you turned your back at her to hide your embarrassment.
Her face closed up, the movement upsetting her. She took a hold of your waist, turning you around and getting insanely close to you.
"Don't ever turn your back on me like that."
Once again you don't know what went on your mind because for some reason you couldn't help but to provoke her.
"Thought you liked my backside."
She stare at you before answering.
"Careful sweetheart, I don't like brats."
As you were about to argue back she shut you up, kissing you hard, her teeth sinking into your bottom lip so she could have access to your tongue.
As much as you'd like to resist her, you've been waiting for her to make a move on you forever so you weren't going to back down now.
So you kissed her back, pushing her back to the couch where she has been sleeping except now you were on top of her, kissing her neck.
You would've continued if it wasn't for her switching positions.
"I'm on top."
You couldn't careless all you wanted to do was for her to kiss you right now.
"Stop talking and start kissing."
And so she did, trailing her kisses down your neck to your breast, getting rid of your top on the way.
She cupped your mount, tasting them and playing with your nipples as you tugged on her hair asking for more.
You might have marks of her lips tomorrow because of how hungrily she was kissing every inch of your skin.
As she was kissing your lips again you decided to stop her.
"Wait, let's eat."
Jimin looked at you with confusion in her eyes.
"What do you mean 'let's eat' ? What do you think I was about to do ?"
She was now clearly frustrated as you sat up on the couch ans started unpacking your order.
"You need to eat, you haven't even eaten lunch today."
"Who cares ?"
Seeing her frustration wasn't getting to you she changed tactics, brushing her hand on your thigh and kissing your neck.
It was indeed tempting but as you let out a content sigh, you broke contact.
"Eat your food and maybe you'll have dessert."
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Not really a smut but here is a little something -Ael
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heartofstanding · 7 months ago
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I want to talk about anne neville and Elizabeth of York. I always thought they knew each other very well. They all have vague personalities in the eyes of passers-by, turbulent fates, tragic experiences caused by their father's death, good relations with husbands who have blood feuds indirectly through marriage, and unstable dynasty rule caused by death ... Because of their vague personalities, both women are easily used by historical authors to express their views, and they also have some connections (such as clothes that are often discussed, Elizabeth once had marriage rumors with Edward and Richard in Lancashire ... Their biographies were also criticized by readers as biased (I think this is because these two women are not extroverted, so the author can only imagine themselves ...)I am very frustrated that historical novels mostly use them to shape the men around them, and rarely pay attention to the inner thoughts of "silent" women. I can see some vivid characteristics of these two women in historical literature. One of my favorite facts about Elizabeth of York is that she arranged for her sister to marry her uncle's former supporters, and had a good relationship with the relatives of the Delapol family, which reminded me of her father's attempt to reconcile with Henry Beaufort. Unfortunately, the novels I read do not describe this at all. The marriage between Anne Neville and Richard III is originally described in the novel as Richard saving her, but from her escape from George's supervision, there is reason to believe that they are in a cooperative relationship, as well as Lancaster. Edward, in the novel, is always just an "evil ex husband..." But I think their brief marriage is not so shallow…
I think your frustration with the way Anne Neville and Elizabeth of York are written about is very justified. I'm not very knowledgable about their lives (honestly, I'm a little confused why you sent this to me) but even from a distance, I think they must have been a lot more complex that historians, commentators and novelists typically suppose they were. I think they largely serve as Ricardian mouthpieces now - Anne as Richard III's one true love, tragically lost and Elizabeth as his chief mourner and as another victim of Tudor rule - but it's also very easy to turn them to mouthpieces for Lancaster and Tudor, which was the image that dominated in Tudor times - Shakespeare's depiction of Anne as the chief mourner for Henry VI, the story Richard murdered Anne in order to forcibly marry Elizabeth, the depiction of Elizabeth as purely the idealised, virtuous and dutiful prop for her husband's rule). I think that, because there's a lack of information that lets us build up a more detailed idea of either women, they tend to be written in a way that expresses how the author really feels about the events and personalities of the Wars of the Roses. I can understand this impulse but I wish this impulse was focused more on them as individuals and less on being mouthpieces for the author's feelings about Richard III or Henry VII.
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ndcgalitzine · 2 years ago
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sherlock-is-ace · 1 year ago
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#god! why is having a meltdown the most embarrassing thing in the world? even a day later#i hate beeing aware of every single thought and feeling i'm feeling while not being able to put a finger on what it is#and also being aware of every feeling and thought people around me are probably having#and then not knowing what the fuck to do to stop them from acting angry at me or just not talking to me at all#i know seeing someone going completely insane is not a fun feeling for people but i'm not doing it on purpose#could we pretend it didn't happen when it's over?#it's not that i'm not telling you what's going on in a calmed manner because i hate you and want you to worry#i'm not talking because i CAN'T and even if i could I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING#i spent all day yesterday trying to avoid having a meltdown and when i finally failed#i was crying by myself in silence not bothering anyone#but of course my mom seeing me cry made my anxiety and embarrassement spike and then my brain was gone#so not being able to explain to her what was going on made HER upset with ME and i just couldn't deal with that so i had to go to sleep#but i woke up today and she's being so cold to me and i can't help but feel guilty because I KNOW it's because of me that she's like that#and there's nothing i can do about it#i want to apologize but i literally don't know what to pologize for cause i didn't do anything wrong?#i don't think i did? and what's the point of apologizing if i don't think i did something wrong?#i'm not going to be those people who say ''i'm sorry you feel this way'' cuase that's not an apology!#i fee like shit mentally. physically. emotionally AND have to deal with my mom acting angry and offended and cold#idk what to do#i should have stayed in bed#but no... i'm ranting on the internet#angel talks#personal
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2024skin · 2 years ago
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literally when I see women being frustrated with other women for staying with abusive men I feel like I'm watching the ouroboros. Like I get it, it happens to everyone, I've been there, but it's so self sabatoging.
#don't come at me if you're one of those girls currently angry at her friend for continuing to date an abuser after you and everyone else#told her not to#I spent 7 years watching different men beat my mother and I've had a lot of friends who faced very different kinds of abuse from other men#so when I say your anger is not constructive believe me because it is my anger too. and I know it hurts and I know it can drive you insane#but when your friend Sees that anger it will hurt her in a way you cannot understand. And if you are hurting her while you claim to love he#while you claim to have her best interests at heart -> then she cannot differentiate between the way you treat her#and the way her abuser does. And I know that's not fair I know it's not the same#And I know you probably care for her in a way her man does not. But when you tell her what to do she doesn't see You.#She sees the man who tells her what to do and how to live. She won't listen to you over that man because you sound the same#You sound eerily similar but he is manipulating her and you are just angry and upset. He will always seem to offer the better deal#so just don't be that angry friend anymore. Be an open door she can walk through whenever she needs a break from an evil man.#Be the life she Could have if she really believed she deserved it. Be good and respectful and supportive even when you feel like killing hi#show her how Everyone should treat her. Show her she deserves to be treated good; show her it is no problem for You to treat her good#And she Will start demanding that from men. From everyone. But she will do it on her own time#With her own setbacks and she will set her own standards. They might never be your standards but they will be better than what they are now#but first you have to be supportive and not angry. You have to root for what She wants and not for her relationship to fail#Even if you really truly hope the relationship will fail. You have to convince her that you want the same things she wants#You have to convince her that you want her to be happy no matter what that looks like. And Then she will ask you#To help make her life happier. And in my experience; that is the only way to truly see someone get to a better place#You have to help them get what they Want. This is way harder than being angry. Insanely harder. But I have seen women change a Lot#after I stopped feeling angry over them. After I stopped trying to convince them that I know what is best for them
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phantaloon · 2 years ago
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milo-is-rambling · 2 years ago
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Recently every conversation with my mom has left me feeling like a child again
#y'know when you were little and your parents were upset but you wanted to tell them something you cared about and they got angry at you for#being happy and wanting to share it with them#that's been how every conversation with my mom has ended for the last two days#i just empty and emotional but I can't do anything about it cause I'm too small and young to help her#i just have to keep being around her and try to make her feel better#it's hard. it's really hard. i miss my dad#i know she's struggling but she doesn't have to act like that to me#and we had been doing so well before my brother came home and now that he's back at school it's like we have to learn to live together all#over again and I don't want to#i just want to lay in bed and cry#i feel like how I felt in middle school when I would lock myself in the bathroom to cry bc my bedroom door didn't have a lock and my family#would just walk in whenever they wanted to do I cried in the bathroom and it was always while I was crying I could hear my whole family#making fun of me for crying in the bathroom and making jokes about how I was crying again and being dramatic and stupid and it kind of#forever tainted my connection with my own emotions and being brushed off by my mom brings me back to that exact feeling#i wanna lock myself in the bathroom and cry so hard I can't breathe while listening to my parents make fun of me for crying#I'm just having a rough day and I'm stressed and sad and it's the first showing of the play tonight and I'm terrified I'm gonna fuck up#and I just want to have a good day but it's all been sucky so far#i hate it#i wake up happy and then I go to start my day and I talk to my mom and then it's like all motivation is drained from me and I want to just#get back into bed again#:((((
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medicinemane · 25 days ago
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Few things piss me off more than when I'm researching something, and I find someone asking the question I want answered, and the response is just "you shouldn't want that, just do this instead"
Today, it's me trying to look up a build for this witch farm concept that uses raid captains to manipulate the witches ai instead of using redstone
"Just use the shifting floors farms, they're just about as good" people respond... you stupid prick, that's not an answer to the question actually asked. I don't know about these guys, but me, I want it cause it's novel and there's no redstone, and I like putting bespoke prestige projects on my server... you might have noticed I tend to do form over function on a lot of my farms... so this is about form, the function is just a bonus
Second example, I wanted to see if there was any way to make Terra Invicta load faster, "just don't save scum"... you idiot, one that's just stupid advice, people can play games however they want, but two this once again doesn't answer the question
Like yeah, how dare people want to know if there's a way to make a game load saves faster when loading takes like 1 minute
If they at least phrased stuff like "sorry, I don't know how to do that, he's an alternative you might try", it's not helpful but it's at least polite
But man... I just get tired of people not answering the question being asked and instead answering the one they've decided was asked
(Actually, a legit real problem in the real world such as... with doctors who don't listen to their patient and decide they know what's really being asked. Don't do it, answer the asked question, or at least ask questions to confirm what's being asked before going off pig headed)
#anyway; pouring over unhelpful people one dropped a mention that Doc from hermit craft seems to have built this design this season#so now I have to track down that... while youtube's acting stupid like it always does after I've left my computer on a few days#no other websites have an issue; but youtube basically becomes unresponsive for like 5 seconds every 10 seconds#the video plays fine if it's already going; but if I try to start or stop it or click anything it doesn't#wonderful website you have their youtube; I'm sure it's not a windows style processor hog or anything#...I'm also in a bad mood; like I'm fucking hair trigger at the moment; cause of one of my mom's sneezing fits hours ago#I know it sounds stupid; and honestly it feels like I must be faking it or something#but when I hear her do that (and it lasts for minutes; she never sneezes less than like 20 times at the top of her lungs)#I actually start smashing my fucking head with the heels of my hands; like against the ears and temples#have to fucking race for rain sounds and turn them up to max; and then I just kinda sit there rocking like a crazy person#...I don't know... probably has something to do with... some kinda shit in my childhood... can't really put it into words or anything concr#but yeah... this kinda thing already pisses me off on a good day cause conceptually it's a jackass move#'oh; you asked a question? well you're stupid and wrong for wanting this; you should just be me instead'#like I could imagine if you asked someone how to do wood burning having them say 'you can't; you can only cut it with power tools'#that's the kind of mentality going on here#slime chunks are another good example; I wanted to know if there's a way to trim them cause they kinda piss me off#short answer no; they seem to be even more baked into the seed than biomes are these days... which sucks; but it's a full answer#but 'just spawn proof with slabs and buttons' is a stupid fucking answer you moron#oh shit; I never considered the obvious... thanks; it's not like maybe people want a certain vibe to a room they built#2010 ass builders; like yeah; in the end I'm just gonna discretely add spawn proofing where I need it#but... that wasn't the fucking question#anyway; point is this pisses me off anyway; but I'm also so angry on like... a physical level; everything has me spitting bullets#like I had to make my cats leave my room because physically hearing my mom sneeze just upsets me so much that...#well... I kinda lose control; not like where I'd kick the cats or something; but where I might slap them away#so it's just... fuck; I hate that I often end up raising my voice in that state and yelling#I prefer when I at least keep it together enough to stay in a measured tone as I'm like 'move move move' herding them out#but yeah... it fucks me up on a really physical level#even now hours later when I've kinda calmed down; Bart's laying next to me and part of me just wants to shove him away#cause I just can't fucking stand anything at the moment#on a intellectual level... I fucking hate it cause I'm not even that mad; and I want Bart here
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nomattertheoceans · 3 months ago
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chemicalarospec · 5 months ago
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#i was busy IRL for an hour and half btw#i feel really bad for upsetting that person so much but that really helped me#i think subconciosuly i knew i needed that bc when i was writing the tags i felt like they were Off but i posted anyways#i just needed someone to actually talk with me (even angrily/accusingly) about this because i was so lost. the anon#helped but it didn't really and one back and forth with an anon isn't really talking. bc i consider less theirpotential response#now that i've realized how similar to asexuality this is i can see how intersex ppl who don't personally want to be included#and are saying not to included intersex ppl at all are very insidous#i think i could have only realized that through confrontation in a discussion.#or like. someone telling me i guess lol nobody's actually used that analogy that i've seen#and i thnk that also would have gottten through to me#the weird thing is like. i didn't even believe that intersex people should be EXCLUDED. i never have. i just didn't understand WHY#the 'some want to be left out so be careful' thing was WRONG i had an inkling it was wrong but wasn't sure. and got caught up in that#honestly i don't think i even said that much wrong the OP is just forever fighting on this so i put her into the mode#(honestly i am a little bothred she wasn't really responding to the things i said but i understand her situation)#which to be clear I did NOT mean to do at all.#but i guess i should have expected i would upset that perseon bc all intersex advocates seem really angry these days#probably bc of ppl like me... sorry#but gosh i just don't think it's evil to be misinformed and think you're properly informed and therefore don't go out searching more#it's almost out of your control. because someone else did the lying to you#all u did was believe them. and if u never believe anybody u can't live so u can only doubt ppl when u have reason#and if u know nothing u don't have reason to doubt....#hi it's the next day on second thought it was kind of wild i spent all afternoon yesterday groveling for#having believed intersex ppl when they told me what their community wants as someone who had never heard of intersex before#it's not my fault they lied
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koishua · 8 months ago
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are... are you doing okay? :(
very respectfully no but it's a work in progress ig it's hitting me harder and harder every day how every decision i ever make will influence other people's interactions with me and i wish i could take it all back :')
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inkskinned · 1 year ago
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what is with men being mad any time a woman raises her voice where did that even come from. someone posted a video of a small electrical explosion, and the top comment was of course the woman screams. the second comment is women try not to scream challenge, level impossible. i had to go back and watch the video again. there is, somewhat fainty, a little gasp emitted off-camera, more of a yelp than a scream. it is mostly lost in the crack of the explosion. afterwards, you hear her voice, shaken, say, are you okay?
i am helping one of my friends train her voice pitch lower, because she wants to be taken seriously at work. she and i do each other's nails and talk about gender roles; and how - due to our appearance - neither of us have ever been able to be "hysterical" in public. we both appear young and sweet and feminine. she is cisgender, and cannot use her natural voice in her profession because people keep saying she appears to be "vapid". we both try to figure out if our purposeful voice lowering is technically sexist. is it promoting something when you are a victim to it?
a storm almost sends a pole through a car window. in the dashcam, you can hear the woman passenger say her partner's name twice, crying out in alarm. she sounds terrified. in the comments, she is lambasted for her lack of calm. how is that even fucking helping?
in high school, i taught myself to have a lower voice. i had been recorded when i was genuinely (and righteously) upset; and i hated how my voice sounded on the phone speakers when it was played back. i was defending my mom, and my voice cracked with emotion. it meant i was no longer winning the argument: i was just shrieking about it.
girls meet each other after a long summer and let out a little joyful scream. this usually stops around 12-14, because people will not tolerate this display of affection (as it has the effect of being passingly annoying). something about the fact that little girls can't ever even be annoying. we are trained to examine each part of our lives (even joy) for anything that could make us upsetting and disgusting. they act like teenage girls are breaking into houses and shrieking you awake at 3 in the morning. speaking as a public school educator: trust me, it's not that bad, you can just roll your eyes and move on. it does not compare to the ways boys end up being annoying: slurs in graffiti, purposefully mocking your body, following you after you said no. you know, just boy things.
there's another video of a man who is not allowed to yell in the house, so he snaps his fingers when he's excited about soccer. the comments are full of angry men, talking about how their brother is unfairly caged. let him express himself and this is terrible to do to someone. eventually the couple has to address it in a second video: they are married with a newborn baby. he was trying not to wake the infant up. there is no comment on the fact women are not allowed to yell indoors. or the fact that it could have been really alarming or triggering for his wife. sometimes i wonder if straight men even like women, if they even enjoy being in relationships with them.
for the longest time, i hated roller coasters because it always felt inappropriate and uncomfortable for me to scream. one of my friends called me on it, said it was unusual i'm so unwilling. i had to go to my therapist about it. i don't like to scream because i was not raised in a safe situation, and raising my voice would have brought unsafe attention towards me. even when i am supposed to scream, it feels shameful, guilty. i was not treated kindly, so i lack a basic form of self-protection. this is not a natural response. it is not good that in a situation of high adrenaline - i shut up about it.
something very bad is happening, i think. in between all the beauty standards and the stuff i've already discussed - this one feels new and cruel in a way i can't quite express. yes, it's scary and silencing. but there's something about how direct it is - that so many men agree with the sentiment that women should never yell, even in an emergency - it feels different.
is the word shriek gendered automatically? how about shrill or screech? in self defense class, one of the first things they tell you is to yell, as loud and as shrilly as you can. they say it will feel rude. most women will not do this. you need to practice overcoming the social pressure and just scream.
most women do not cry out, even when it's bad. we do not report it. we walk faster. we do not make a scene. what would be the point of doing anything else? no matter what we do, we don't get taken seriously. it is a joke to them. an instagram caption punchline. we have to present ourselves as silent, beautiful, captivating - "valuable."
a woman is outside watching her kids when someone throws a firecracker at them. she screams and runs towards her children. in the comments, grown men flock together in the thousands: god. women are so annoying.
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killerpancakeburger · 3 months ago
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Thinking about a Reader who ends up having Scary Dog Privileges with Ghost without meaning to. It just happened.
Then they have to deal with the fact that this comes with duties too.
Tags: civilian!reader, gn!reader, mostly fluff, a bit suggestive, smug!Ghost, smooth!Ghost. 800 words.
Part 2. Part 3.
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When Ghost is reluctant to getting sutured in Medical after accidentally opening his stitches, grumbling he can do it himself, who does the nurse call for? Yeah, you.
She could stand her ground, after all she's used to dealing with big, whiny men, but it's much more fun to knock on your door and smile at your bewildered gaze and gaping mouth when she explains the situation in two sentences.
"Ghost's being difficult, mind taking over?" "I'm sorry, what the hell does this have to do with me?" "C'm'on, everyone on base knows he's got a soft spot for you. Don't you want to make my job easier?"
You roll your eyes and slam your hands on your desk as you get up. Groaning as you walk past her— "I'm doing this for you, nothing else, got it?"
Mumbling to yourself "you've got to be kidding me" as you barge into the sick bay. Ghost is coolly seated at the end of a bed, large as life, casual clothes as black as his mask and— oh. You weren't told the wound was on his thigh— you weren't warned that he didn’t have pants on. You can’t help it, your eyes go down, down, your lingering gaze and your flustered silence forming a confession louder than words.
A noise — a scoff or a grunt, you’re not sure — emanates from him, breaks your trance, makes you look up. The amusement in his gaze tells you he noticed your oggling— of course he did. Nothing gets past the Ghost, and you've been remarkably unsubtle. Despite the mask, you swear you can make out the smug smirk on his lips. His cockiness reignites your irritation. Annoyance making you bolder than you really are, you charge at him, crossing the distance between you two in a stride, stopping close— too close. He doesn't back off.
"What's wrong with you?" you snarl. "Nothin'," he retorts, imperturbable.
It's actually the first time you’re overlooking him. You may be enjoying it a bit too much. Nevermind the fact that you've had to wedge yourself between his parted legs to get there.
You frown, unconvinced by his answer.
“Did Soap contaminate you?”
Bargaining to be cleared out earlier was the Scotsman's trademark.
“Johnny throws a fit cos he hates feeling useless. That's not what I'm doing.”
A smirk stretches your lips.
“Oh, no? I'm sure your reasons are much more noble.”
“Doesn't matter. Got what I wanted anyway.”
He's way too self-satisfied for a man in his underwear.
You throw an unequivocal look in the direction of his injury.
“What you wanted? A still open wound?”
“You.”
He replied without missing a beat, as confident as usual. It is both alluring and aggravating.
“And your idea of wooing me is making me upset?”
You don't add “because if it is, that's really fucking stupid” out loud, but you’re sure he got the message through your tone.
“Nah. But you're more honest when you’re angry. Gutsier.”
You only realize he slipped his index and middle fingers in your trouser loops when he sharply tugs at them. Off balance, you steady yourself by catching his shoulders.
Taking advantage of the strip of bare skin between your shirt and bottoms, the pads of his thumbs idly stroke your hip bones. The contact sends electricity through you, shivers of pleasure running down your sides.
“Ghost,” you start, severe, trying not to let the effect his touch has on you show in your voice.
“Simon,” he counters, surly. “Told ya it's Simon when we're alone, didn't I?”
He did, but you didn’t think he was serious. If that's what it takes to get him to listen… you’ll play by his rules.
“Simon. What's the rest of your brilliant plan? I'm here, but I can’t stitch you up.”
“How ‘bout a deal. I'll stop resisting… for a price.”
You raise an amused eyebrow.
“What kind of price?”
“A kiss.”
You snort. You didn’t believe him capable of something so… puerile.
“With the mask on?”
He doesn't move a muscle to get rid of it.
“Take it off.”
You usually wouldn’t obey what sounds like an order so easily, but it's the first time you get to touch the skull. Slipping two fingers between skin and cloth, you slowly roll up the mask all the way under his nose.
You gently trace the scars surrounding his lips. Then, the second you feel him relax, grip on your hips slackening and intensity of his gaze waning, you grab the bottom of his mask and drag it back down vigorously, making the holes for the eyes land way too low for him to see anything.
“If you thought you'd get a reward for acting out, you've got another think coming.”
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tiddykittylikesskittles · 1 year ago
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My mom will be taking a nap in the living room with her HEADPHONES ON. and my dad will glare at me if I take a single step into the kitchen.
#drinking cold (hot) chocolate because apparently using the electric kettle is too much noise#it's not even that he was concerned it'd wake her up it's that both him and my mom default to staring me down like i killed someone#even when they're like. mildly annoyed.#it doesn't help that i panic when they do this but that's not exclusively on them#like could they chill out occasionally. could they do that for me#their child#i guess not#my dad didn't even know if it'd wake her up. this isn't me using the kettle knowing it could wake her up#it seems pretty likely to me that it wouldn't but neither of us know for sure#I'm 18 years old I'm pretty sure i can assess that risk for myself thanks#he's ALWAYS LIKE THIS too. you make the SLIGHTEST noise while my mom is napping and you will face the consequences.#even though she could sleep through a tornado#i just. ouuuuugh it feels so patronizing and harsh and unnecessary. it also makes me want to cry#like i get to a point. where I'm like maybe my dad isn't that bad. and then he reminds me he has the temper of a thousand suns#and he does NOT think I'm allowed to be upset about it ever. even when it's stupid#and i feel so upset and angry but mostly i feel scared. i feel like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop#and any second someone's gonna scream their head off at me or take away my shit etc#and this is like such a tiny thing but i spend all my time around people who i don't like and am beholden to and it really grates on me#so we have things like this that are like. nbd y'know. hell I'd probably apologize if it was anyone else#even if i believed i wasn't gonna wake anyone up#but because it's my dad. and he has spent most of my life alternating between ignoring me or screaming at me.#being protective of my mom. who is demanding and mean and selfish.#i feel like i want to cry and scream and throw something but I can't do any of that.#because it would wake my mom up and we can't fucking have that can we.
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bi-writes · 4 months ago
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hi b! your mail order bride snippet was amazing!! I totally relate to taking the cat with her! tbh I think by the end of the first week the kitty will have Simon wrapped around their paw lol
mail-order bride
you sit up in bed as the bathroom door flies open, the knob banging against the wall as simon nearly stomps his way into the bedroom. you rub your sleepy eyes, watching as he holds the cat by the scruff of its neck until he can toss it onto the floor at the foot of the bed. the cat hops up onto the bed, sitting at your feet, and simon snarls as he stares back at it (it isn't allowed on the bed).
"can't even take a fuckin' shit, starin' right at me," he snaps at you, and you blubber a little, not knowing what to say right away. "i told ya to keep that fuckin' thing away from me."
"she likes you," you say sleepily, sniffing as you shrug. "she just wants to be near you."
"i said no pets!"
you blink up at him, "i-i'm sorry, simon--" you go to push the covers off to get out of bed, but simon comes closer, pushing you back into bed.
"don't get out of bed, why are ya gettin' out of bed? it's too fuckin' cold."
"y-you seem upset," you sniffle, "i just--" you put your hand over his gently. "she just likes you, simon. can't you see that?"
it is early. when simon goes back into the bathroom, you lay back down and let the warmth of the covers lull you back to sleep.
when you wake in the morning, eyes fluttering, simon is laying beside you still. it's odd, because he gets up before the sun comes up, but when you turn over to face him, your eyes widen a little. simon is wide awake. he's on his stomach, his face smushed into the pillow like usual, but he's so angry. his face is contorted into a scowl, and the cat is curled up on the base of his neck, their little head resting on the back of his head as they sleep peacefully, little purrs escaping every so often.
simon locks eyes with you, and you bite your lip, uneasy.
"what the fuck am i supposed to do?!" he hisses. "it's been 'ere all fuckin' mornin'!"
you slap your hand over your mouth to stop the giggles, and simon growls a little.
"get it offa me!"
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