#also v confused bc is this a platonic or ACTUALLY a romantic crush on my friend

[koishua]

are... are you doing okay? :(

very respectfully no but it's a work in progress ig it's hitting me harder and harder every day how every decision i ever make will influence other people's interactions with me and i wish i could take it all back :')

[wingedbeings]

turns out I have an fp again??

[propaganda-for-poets]

HELP I'M ACTUALLY HAVING A CRISIS I THINK I'M ON THE ACE SPECTRUM??? I'VE THOUGHT IT BEFORE BUT MY ACE FRIEND SAID THAT IT'S PROBABLY BECAUSE I'M A TEENAGER AND NOT BECAUSE I'M ACE AND IDK MAYBE XE ARE RIGHT WTF WTF

WHAT DOES A CRUSH FEEL LIKE??? SOMEONE NEEDS TO SERIOUSLY TELL ME BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW

OH COOL WE CAN SIMULTANEOUSLY HAVE AN ACE CRISIS LMFAOFSDH-

OK OK JUST TO CLEAR THIS PART UP: teenagers want to have sex ! it's weird to think about it, maybe it's because i'm having an ace crisis as well, maybe it's because teenagers are children, i don't know, but biologically, it's a fact, teenagers are full of hormones, they want to have sex. a lot of people tell ace teenagers that they're not actually ace and they're just not an adult yet but that's not how it works, teenagers want to have sex and that's natural, as natural as it is for certain teenagers to not want to have sex, this is basic sex ed. if you feel like you want to identify as ace, that you don't want to have any sexual relationships, or only want them to a certain extent, don't let anyone tell you that you can't be ace because you're still a teenager, people don't magically get horny on their 18th birthday. it's at our teenage years we're supposed to discover if we feel attraction, towards who we feel it and at what level, it's one of the most emotional periods of our lives, if you feel like you don't experience any sexual attraction at this age that's not going to magically change when you're an adult. it might develop later in your life, but the average person starts experiencing sexual attraction during their teenage years. teenagers can be ace. teenagers can like sex. it's all human nature.

as for the crush thing,,

BESTIE I DON'T KNOW LMFAOOOO I'M SO CONFUSED

I KNOW THAT I HAVE LIKE,,, V STRONG FEELIGNS FOR A CERTAIN PERSON THAT I ALWAYS JUST USED TO THINK WERE ROMANTIC FEELINGS BUT I JUST DIDN'T WANNA LIKE KISS HIM OR BE INVOLVED WITH HIM IN A ROMANTIC SENSE JUST BC HE ANNOYED ME AND WAS AN ASSHOLE WHICH APPARENTLY,,, ISN'T THE CASE?????????

(not that he's an asshole. that is the case. the romantic feelings thing isn't the case.) but anyways my take on crushes and love is that we limit them to romantic feelings way too much and it shouldn't have to be that way. some people might not feel this kind of attraction at all. some might only very rarely. some might have romantic feelings all the time. like, do i know that i feel differently about this person and don't wanna be just friends? yes. but would the way i feel towards him actually classify as romantic attraction? ,,,,,,probably not. imo, a crush, whether it's romantic or platonic or both or neither, is when you recognize you feel differently towards someone than your regular friends, that you want to be around them and want to see them happy, you enjoy spending time with them, they make your day, and it doesn't necessarily have to mean that you want to like make out with them or something. it also depends on how it individually feels to you. like, i would probably say that all of those apply to how i feel about my best friend, but there is a slight difference that, at least to me, makes it clear that my feelings for my best friend are purely platonic. that doesn't mean i like panda more than them. of course i don't care about panda more than my best friend. but i also know that i care about panda in a different way. not necessarily more or less, but differently.

anyways i hope u figure it out pittsie !!!!!!!!!! also don't feel pressured to label yourself. if you're not certain about it you can always just say "i don't like sex." it might change later, it might not, but don't let the fact that you're a teenager make you think that you can't decide whether you're ace or not.

[franeridart]

Jack says "ignored YOUR rule". Does that mean it's something Bakugou obligates himself not to have or something non of them can have? I'm actually curious 🤔

It’s actually a rule Bakugou put down for himself for a number of reasons, half related to his own safety and the safety of the person he’s dating, the other half to the fact that Bakugou hates lying, but (again for safety reasons) he can’t just go around telling everyone what he’s doing - he doesn’t want a relationship in which he’d just contantly lie to his partner and ditch them for vigilante work without being able to explain them what’s going on, so he put down the rule as soon as he decided he wanted to do this. Well, he hadn’t been interested in relationships anyway before Kirishima, so it was an easy decision to take at the time - now though...

Ahhhh if only he figured out Kiri and Red are the same person smh that’d make everything so much easier on him

Anon said:When you draw Jiro and Bakugo having platonic hugs and cuddles my bi heart becomes incredibly soft THANK YOUUUUUUU

I’M HAPPY TO HEAR THAT cause honestly that’s as self-indulgent as I go hahaha

Anon said:The vigilante au is so far sad but I could totally see it going in a miraculous ladybug kinda direction. What if they tried putting distance between themselves and suddenly found that they're falling again, for the vigilante forms this time because "oh sh*t he's cute in every way Kirishima is" and "He's just my type too, Bakugou-- *sigh* I could use some moving on from him." Or only Kirishima moves to vigilante!Baku but he remains stuck on kiri..//Or what if like, vigilante! Kiribaku are about to get caught by a hero and Kirishima opens up about his last regret of not getting to see his crush one last time after they set distance between themselves, while Bakugou listens and...

That’s!!!! a lot of ideas you got there hahaha I’m glad you’re having fun with the concept!!!!!!

Anon said:That vigilante au is amazing. You really express emotions well in comics.

AAAAAHHHHHH THANK YOU SO MUCH that!!!! honestly means the world to me *sob*

Anon said:I just want to say you're really cool and I like you art uh- K bye

Thank!!!!!!!!!!! YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:Oh damn. I think i fall in love for your Vigilantes AU. Please don't stop. I really love it❤️

I mean, as long as you guys are okay with it being a bit all over the place and also being just pencil doodles, then I got no problems doing that right now haha thank you for liking it!!

Anon said:I love your vigilantes AU so much 😍😍😍😍

THANKS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:LET THEM BE HAPPY !!!!

THAT’S THE PLAN!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:May I ask how you draw bakugous hair so well?? I just can’t seem to get the right amount of poof (or should I say BOOM💥 )

oHO I’m glad you like it cause actually the answer is I spent two years drawing it nearly daily and I finally sorta reached a place when I guess I’m okay with how I draw it lol some time ago I drew a step by step for it? but by now my process is mostly “do whatever and hope for the best”, which incidently is also my process in drawing Kirishima’s hair lmao

Anon said:Im a bit confused with the vigilante kiri, does he have black hair in his civilian form and red in his hero form?

YEH it’s one of the reasons why Bakugou still hasn’t figured out Red is Kiri haha thought if you’re asking for the logistics of that, I can’t say I spent too long thinking about it? We can always call it temporary hair dye spry or something like that, but to be fair it’s not like it matters all that much lmao I just needed Baku to be unable to tell it was him easily haha

Anon said:I love ur gem Au! :D are you gonna make more? Its okay if not :)

As I’ve said literally every single time I’ve answered asks since I posted it, MAYBE yes! The thing about that AU is that I love it and I have fun with it, but posting it ended up being the biggest mistake I’ve ever made, so honestly I don’t know when I’m gonna draw it if I’ll draw it, but the possibility is there

Anon said:Hello! I just wanted to say I have love reading your comics and your art is amazing-- but I especially love your vigilantes AU! Thank you so much for sharing it with us!!!

HECK thank you!!!! I’m so happy you’re enjoying it ;O;

Anon said:Why must you hurt us? I started crying at that vigilante au comic..

*passes u a blanket* I’ll try not to make it as sad in the future!

Anon said:Hi! I've purchased the take my hand book about a month ago, just wondering how long it takes for it to be delivered??? BTW I live in NZ so I understand if it takes a while~

Heck sorry anon but I’m so not good with dates, you should check the @takemyhandzine blog for that sorta stuff! Thank you so much for buying it tho!!!! ;O;

Anon said:Is Nico a cinnamon roll or a sinnamon roll?

That......... depends a lot on who you ask :0

Anon said:I love bnha more and more with every new character out. All that's left is to ask, which minor character is currently your favorite? (***That isn't from UA because that is a much bigger dilemma)

oUCH it would have been easier picking from UA actually since I’m pretty sure Amajiki is it hahaha well, if I can’t pick from UA...................... you know what, probably Shishikura

Anon said:Bakujiro friendship is something I didn’t know I NEEDED. U do good work bro

I’M SO GLAD YOU CAN GET BEHIND THAT!!!!!

Anon said:Your art gives me life!!! Every time you post is just so unique in every way :00000 ❤️ anyway i just wanted to let you know that you’re inspiring in every way and that I absolutely adore your kiribaku art to the moon and back!!!

SOB thank you so much???? You’re so sweet!!!! ;O;

Anon said:FRAN!!! YOUR LATEST KIRIBAKU ART KILLED ME (in a good way) HONESTLY YOU IMPROVED SO MUCH SINCE I FIRST STARTED FOLLOWING YOU, IT MOTIVATES ME TO KEEP DRAWING!! THANK YOU

HELL ANON THANK YOU SO MUCH I’M SO GLAD MY FUMBLING AROUND IN THE ART WORLD IS INSPIRING FOR YOU ???? LET’S BOTH KEEP DOING OUR BEST!!!!!

Anon said:fran you could convince me to ship anything with one (1) drawing

Since I got this ask I’ve been trying to find the most outrageous ship just to draw it and test this theory.......... I still haven’t found something outrageous enough but.... soon

Anon said:Hi your art is amazing also beautiful As you probably might know there is a traitor in the show, if you didn't know well then im sorry for spoiling. May I request a traitor kirishima

nnnnnnnggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh sorry anon but the traitor theory arts are stuff I just can’t get behind, mostly so if it’s my fav characters - I don’t find it credible and I don’t find any joy in dwelling in the idea, so I got zero motivation to draw for it orz

Anon said:I can't believe you made me read the phrase "startle and explosion out of baku". (Yay for the vigilantes AU!)

LMAO he’s actually trying to do just that tho, maybe I’ll draw it hahaha

Anon said:Please! I need more BakuKiriKami fan art! I’m gunna die without it!

Anon I’m gonna be very real with you here my first reaction to reading this ask was thinking “then perish”

Anon said:Hello! I don't know if you've gotten this question before but have you ever considered drawing the villains?

I’ve drawn Dabi and Twice in the past! I’m not really much intereste in any other villain atm tho so I doubt I’m gonna be drawing them any time soon ^^’’

Anon said:You are by far my favorite artist. Your Kiribaku gives life to my bleak exsistence. Thank you. I bought some of your things of redbubble to make me happy!

AHHHHH THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:Hello! I'm a big fan of your work and your kiribaku fluff especially, and I've been working on a (not so innocent) fic about Bakugou having burnt marshmallow smelling and tasting sweat, (funny how nitroglycerin is a natural lubricant, tastes and smells like burnt sugar, and is explosive) just wanted to know if you ever thought about it? also wanted to know if you'd like to read my finished fic, should be done real soon and it would mean a lot to know what you think about it!

Anon I’m so sorry but I really can’t say yes to this - especially because you said it means a lot to you, you’re putting me in a spot here where in case I didn’t like it I wouldn’t be able to tell you so anyway (and I generally don’t like talking about fancontent I don’t give a 10/10 to anyway, it’s too rude for me) and I’m sure it’s gonna be a great fic! But by the way you talked about it it’s gonna be a nsfw fic and I really rarely like those fics, so !!! orz I’m sorry, but this is a really uncomfortable request for me ;;;

Anon said:Can I use your art real quick if I hard out credit u? It's alright if I can't

Nope, sorry

Anon said:Could you draw another doodle of Setsuna?. I love how you draw her jfvdkd ;;v;; (Sorry if my English is trash.)

Not right now, but in the future yeah sure, I love her!

Anon said:Your Kirishima is so beautiful i fucking cry omg ;-; thank you for brightening my morning.

;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; thank you for liking how I draw him !!!!

Anon said:💛💛💛💛 Thank you for sharing your art, it always makes my day

Thank YOU for liking it!!!!!

Anon said:In your SU AU what if a gem offers to replace Kiri with a 'newer, better pearl'? How would Bakugo react?

Actually, Kiri was given to Bakugou specifically because he’s sorta defective, it was punishment for both of them that sorta backfired lmao 

Anon said:hi there! I'm new to your blog and I love your art style immensely! I saw somewhere with your latest seroroki post that you're still finding your main todoship; I hope I dont sound rude or pushy, but can I ask your opinions about todo*aku and/or tod*kir*baku? If not, thank you for your time! Keep up the great work!!

Still not completely sold on romantic tdbk tbh (platonic tho, that’s my jam) but I’ve been real into the ot3 lately!!! It just can’t be my main todo ship bc I still prefer krbk too much over it haha

Anon said:I loveeee your art, especially your kiribaku stuff! But consider! Size difference! What if Kirishima grows a lot but our lil' Baku doesn't? Does he get jealous or does he really like it? There'd be some epic hugs/kisses! What if he secretly loves getting picked up by Kirishima? XD

Oh that’s an hc I see around a lot! Personally I stil prefer them sorta the same size tho ???? with the only difference being Baku being lithe and Kiri being a tank, I think it has to do with the whole “complementary equals” theme they have going on, I like for it to be visually represented too ??? maybe, I had never really thought about the hows or whys of this preference tbh lmao

Anon said:Hey so I'm not up to date with BNHA but in your asks there was a thing about dragon boy having a zombie costume? I had another look at what I think is the right doodle and to me it looks like a Chinese vampire costume! (unless that's not the one you guys were talking about oops)

Nope that’s him, and you’re right!!! Either way my boy still hasn’t done anything worth of note, so I still don’t know why he’s dressed like that orz Hori plssss

[tinkdw]

hi I don’t know if it’s just me, but does it feel like d/c’s relationship has been kind of stagnant for the past few seasons...? i just don’t sense much development but it could all be in my head. maybe it’s bc cas can’t be in every episode so it feels like he has a very set role

The TL;DR version is: WE, the audience, know they love each other romantically. THEY are written as thinking they can’t have each other (he doesn’t love me that way / I’m only needed not wanted / everything I touch turns bad / I’ve done nothing but screw up his life / I’m poison). 

Cue audience frustration

Why?

Dean/Cas as romantic since mid season 11 has been growing at an alarmingly massive rate but it has grown as a love story core to the plot, not as a bunch of wink wink nudge nudge moments as it had been many times previously.

It’s not a JOKE anymore it’s CORE TO THE PLOT.

So yeah, we haven’t had so many moments like Thelma and Louise or lip licking  or boner scenes but we’ve had Cas literally tell Dean he’s in love with him then telling the rest of the family that he loves them, surrounded by a bunch of peripheral characters prior to this in s12 doing their own rendition of singular v plural (like Magda’s mom “she did this to me, she did this to us” etc) then finally in season 13 this came back again with Jack’s reminder of this moment in the finale just as Dean is with Cas and saying yes to Michael to save the others and the world just as Cas originally helped him avoid. Of all the ironies amiright.

Because in between this we had the Empty literally telling Cas he knows who he loves and that there’s nothing for him there and Dean running around for 3 years yelling “what about CAS?!” at every opportunity.

It couldn’t be clearer that Dean’s mourning for Cas was different to Sam’s. That Dean’s grief is what caused Jack to reach through the veil and wake Cas up. Insert gif of “gay love pierces the veil and saves the day”. Cos I mean JEEZ. Plus this reminds us again of how Amara had to reach through Cas’ heart to get to Dean at the end of season 11 even though they were apparently “bound” but ahem no, she had to work through Cas to get to Dean because Dean’s chosen bond with Cas was way stronger than the forced bond with her. She couldn’t contact him until he was thinking about Cas and she hovered her hand over his heart to feel the link then she was able to speak to him. TWICE. Like… this is all canon and it doesn’t really come across as platonic you know? All this heart symbolism and it being clear that something here is deep and meaningful, meanwhile Dean is going through his personal arc of accepting who he really is and a huge amount of that is stuff like ahem, riding Larry, and a whole bunch of stuff over 13 years leading us to see him as bisexual and at the same time he happens to have deep and meaningful and different feelings towards one dude in particular who tells him he loves him then Dean goes and makes him a mixtape and is so friggin awkward like a teenager with a crush who at the same time is not sure what he can and can’t have, is going through a whole personal arc of self worth and acceptance where he’s flitting between letting himself have what he wants but then also holding back so he gives him the friggin mixtape but is also like “buddy” “pal” cough um, I mean, uh, here have this tape I made you and let me look after you here’s a beer though you don’t need one, do you need a back rub? I mean, uhh.… ok this is all a massive coincidence right? Pfffft.

Meanwhile it couldn’t be clearer that Cas thinks Dean is not in love with him, that he feels rejected romantically and this is the basis for all of their interactions in season 13. Dean being all “oh I was grieving and nearly died myself until you came back but then I immediately went “welcome home pal” and suppressed the CRAP out of all those feelings and then went on to tell you you were brought back cos we needed you back which is such horse shit everyone was screaming at their tv “NO THE ONLY PERSON WHO NEEDED HIM BACK WAS YOU DEAN AND YOU DONT NEED HIM, YOU WANT HIM! IT’S NOT THE SAME!”. The only reason Jack at that point needed Cas back was because Dean was being such a dick to him because of what he did to Cas. Like… ain’t no sub to that text. Again that’s all canon.

We then had Sam’s “we need you, I need you” to Gabriel which was clearly NOT ROMANTIC but emphasised both the fact that Cas thinks Dean’s “I need you” was not romantic and therefore feels rejected AND the plural/singular thing.

We have Tombstone where Dean’s been a mess for 5 episodes then Cas comes back and he’s BEAMING. But to Cas nothing has changed, he doesn’t know Dean was a mess, to him Dean’s just being Dean but we the audience see the huge change. This then builds all season up to Dean’s BS “we needed you back” no chickflick moments totally suppressing the truth comment to Cas so Cas has no idea of what really happened and how it all hinges on Dean’s feelings for him.

We have the Donatello thing where the reason Cas goes full on triggered and ends up doing what he does is because he hurt Dean. When he hurt Sam it was like oh bad times but whatever lets just tie him up and ask him questions.

Hurting Dean though?

x 

Like… sure of course it’s all still subtext and if they really wanted to they could chicken out because noone has said “I love you” in a direct and open manner to the other without the other thinking it’s not really what they mean or rejecting the crap out of it because they don’t think they’re worthy and causing them to feel rejected but it would make no real narrative sense at this point other than as massive queerbaiting and storybaiting because they’ve built them now so far in the context of the plot as intrinsic to each other and to the plot itself as romantic now.

Like, what is the point of all this if not to lead here you know? You just wouldn’t bother making it romantic in the first place. You just wouldn’t bother building the plural v singular and need v want and perceived rejection over the course of 2.5 YEARS if not to go somewhere with it all when it all points to the same conclusion?

I think a big problem rn in the narrative and fandom is that both of them feels the other has in the past or is currently romantically rejecting them. Their feelings are stalled and suppressed which makes us watching it feel it is stalled / suppressed even though it’s built into the narrative more than ever.

WE, the audience, know they love each other romantically. 

THEY think they can’t have each other so act accordingly awkward around each other instead of flirty / like they think it could happen so it comes across on screen like they’re not interested in each other even though at every opportunity around it we are being continuously told they are.

Cue audience frustration.

^ That’s the point we are at now ^ 

THEY think the other isn’t in love with them in return and that there’s nothing for them there (Cas) or that they don’t deserve that love (Dean) or a mix of the two plus a whole bunch of “he’s confused and doesn’t know what he wants we’re better off as friends anyway and everyone I touch / love ends up dead and if we ever did get to a point where our lives weren’t this apocalyptical mess and he still felt the same way maybe then when we’re on the beach sipping beers in matching Hawaiian shirts then I could entertain the thought of us together and offer to put lotion on his back and go from there but at this point it would just end badly and I don’t think I could lose him again after getting together it would just hurt even more and I can’t do that to either of us”.

Remember in season 9 when Cas was human and they were at a point of literally flirting so much Sam was like WTF

But then Cas had to become an Angel again to do his duty, to help Heaven, save Sam etc and Dean was like dude what why did you do that are you ok with that and Cas didn’t answer at all except to say he had to do it. Like, they literally built in that episode what would happen if they were actually allowed to do what they wanted for once, which was whatever the hell was coming after all this flirtation ^, it was a massive exposition of what Cas wanted instead of what he thought he needed to do to be useful. It was “hey look this is what Cas wants but he is stopping himself from having it but remember this and bear with until he gets to the point he can allow himself to have it”.

Which is again exactly what Dean’s Hawaiian shirt speech was in 13x23!

=>These are exposition of what they want right before forcing them to reject it in order to be useful to save others. Exposing their desires to make it even more heartbreaking when they reject it out of their selfless desire to help others. 

BECAUSE THIS IS WHAT HEROES DO.

You can’t really build a hero without first showing what they want so it is even stronger when they suppress that in order to help others. I mean, you could but it would be pretty hollow, showing what they want and then not allowing them to have it until their happy ending is kind of how you build the tragic hero story, otherwise it’s kinda like meh what’s the alternative? Give the audience the alternative, what they want, then take it away from them due to their selfless desire to help others, that’s what makes a real hero story. Then give them their happy ending and the audience will have wanted it for so long for them they’ll love you for it.

Like - SPN fandom is mostly a bunch of people yelling “why can’t they just be happy?! Give Sam a dog! Let him have friends! Let Dean cook and have his Dean cave! Let Cas feel loved!” That’s because it’s been so well built this way to make us want this for them and them not having it for years. 

Make the audience want something then hold it back - lesson 101 of building their engagement with the story.

TL;DR since mid season 11 they’ve given us so much Dean/Cas as romantic that the GA have started noticing, it’s a serious topic in interviews eg Dean and Sam’s reactions to Cas’ death and more and more people are seeing it as romantic (even the anti Destiel people are foaming at the mouth and yelling at TPTB because they can’t deny it in the text of the show anymore), whilst also building it that the characters themselves think it’s NOT romantic or that they just can’t have it and I think that’s where this perception that it isn’t comes from - the characters own perception that they can’t have it.

But the narrative is showing us it bloody well is romantic AF but the characters are suppressing it, so buckle up for when they realise they might be able to actually have it.

[eledritch]

*slides into your inbox* demisexual Keith you say?? He is in my mafs fic too! I'm not sure I'm doing him justice though... Do you have any advice on how to write him?

right so this just turned into a long long post about being demi….

aw it’s v sweet of you to ask…honestly I just self-project onto Keith so hard; I identify as demi (demiromantic or demisexual we just don’t know, maybe both) and it just made a lot of sense for me the more i thought in (too much) depth about Keith’s characterization. Keep in mind that demi-ness is a spectrum and this is just my experience with it.

I guess one of the things is that Keith has this very defined sense of like, setting aside his own personal wants/needs/feelings/safety/etc for others, specifically uhh those who are very important to him (ahem SHIRO, but also applies to his BoM adventures rip Regris). And not to say that that’s a characteristic of everyone demi at all, but for me personally that really resonated in the context of feeling that my own wants/needs were unimportant/secondary/silly. 

I never knew how to talk about it, explain it, so I just kinda kept quiet. It’s weird being demi bc it’s such a ~mysterious~ gray area, and it’s hard to explain to people, especially paired with me being bi (I hc Keith as bi and demi as well). Because bisexuality has a (stupid) reputation for being synonymous with promiscuous while demisexuality is like, “i dont get what you mean are you just super picky??” and im over here like I DONT KNOW MY DUDE IT’S JUST WHAT I FEEL and i think keith would relate to that. 

bc I didn’t even know about the concept of demisexuality until I was, man, like 16 or 17 at least?? So it’s very weird growing up and knowing that your libido/sexual awakening or whatever is distinctly different from your peers and what you’re being taught. I found myself lying constantly about crushes and things like that when I was in elementary/middle school especially - all my friends would cycle through crushes with frequency that was kind of alarming and very confusing to me hahaha I was always a lot more focused on…aesthetic beauty if that makes sense? Yet I was quite aware of my own libido/changing body/kinks/whatever, they just weren’t aimed at anyone else, ya know? All that stuff was very…contained and internalized.

Like, before I really came to terms with the fact that I’m bisexual, I was struggling to explain to my best friend (who had just come out to me as bi, LMAO WE FLOCK TOGETHER) how I rarely find people sexually attractive, even if I may toy with the idea/fantasy of doing sexual or romantic things with people, usually people already close to me, those aren’t things I would ever act on or ever want to act on. I just have a very active imagination, if you haven’t already guessed. Anyway, yes, I find many people aesthetically attractive, as in I would love to draw them or take photos of them bc I just admire how they look and how they’re, uhh…put together? Sounds weird but that’s all I got haha. 

Demi Keith also makes a lot of sense to me in the context of Sheith specifically because, okay, again with the self-projecting - in all my 19 years, I’ve only had crushes on 2 people (…possibly comin up on a third rn…..), one of which was bc of an unhealthy af friendship/defensive coping mechanisms, but the other of which lasted throughout ALL of middle school and was just, REALLY INTENSE FEELING. I was (middle-school version of in love) in love with this kid, but we were friends first, and he actually found out I was smitten with him, and guess what? We actually became closer friends, and I was really content with that. And my friends all thought that was weird that I wasn’t gunning to date him and flirting/constantly all up in his business. 

But I was like, why would I do that?? He knows how I feel, we’re comfy as friends, we trust each other and talk about deep stuff, we hug and hang out and he invited me to his bar mitzvah so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ bc I felt fulfilled in that friendship with everything just being entirely platonic. Dating doesn’t hold the same appeal to me as it does for my friends and sister and the people around me. 

Additionally, I’ve never understood when people i.e. my roommates make goals that are like OK THIS QUARTER, NO BOYS, GOTTA FOCUS ON SCHOOL. bc im like um. that’s. what??? Like, I get it hahah but attraction and crushes and flings have never been that important to me and factor very little into my plans for the future. If I wanna focus on academics, I’m gonna focus on academics. And I think Keith has that same mindset, whether with academics or piloting or Voltron or BoM or whatnot. 

If a Shiro walked into my life, I would still be focusing on academics. With significantly more pining, yes, but ya know. Books before dicks (im so sorry). However, if that Shiro suddenly disappeared, damn right I would feel like my world’s axis had just shifted. Because with being demi, for me at least, we may not feel attraction very often but when we do it’s like, WHOA, BAM. Which I think is uhh also very Keith :’D

I hope that MAYBE helped??? there’s so many possible interpretations of demisexuality tbh!

[melanin-amare]

Things that I did/Experienced/Accomplished in 2019

- Went to Miami with my friends

- Went to a strip club??? Lol

- Went on a sunset cruise

- Jet-skied for the first time

- Witnessed UVA win their first National Championship Wahoowa!!! (big college basketball fan here)

- Witnessed UVA lax win the National championship

- Stood my ground when it came to the way I was being treated in a certain friendship --> no longer apart of that. just v cordial

- Lived in South Africa for 3 months

- Partied four days a week and still got good grades in SA

- Hosted fun pregames (v easy/cheap to get liq in SA lol)

- Went on two wine tours and one food tour lol

- Tried an edible for the first time and experienced the “I don’t feel anything” but died an hr later experience

- Participated in Karaoke Tuesdays (10+ weeks) in front 100+ people (a lot of them from my school)

- Had a consulting internship.... something I thought I wasn’t going to have and something that brought tears to my eyes when I thought about it prior to 2019

- Sang ‘Buy you a drank’ with my cute cute co-worker that I had a crush on (after a lot of convincing from him and being drunk asf lol (okay i can hold myself all the way together when I’m drunk and you wouldn’t even know unless you pregamed with me) v Glad I did it

- Went on a safari and saw so much wildlife

- Played with & fed Elephants

- Randomly rode on the back of an ATV and ran into rhinos at some big ass ranch or wildlife conservation thing??? Still confused lol

- Hiked part of one of the 7 natural wonders of the world and then took a cable car up for the rest Bc I physically cannot climb Table mountain

- Hiked Cape Point: the most southern tip of Africa

- Went to a beach full of penguins

- Made new + better friends!!!!

- Expanded my music taste/playlist

- Went on a second sunset cruise

- Became more comfortable being vulnerable and talking about my insecurities

- Strengthened my relationship with the amazing people I’ve been friends with for years

- Made great progress: mentally and physically

- Felt cute asf for a whole summer!!!!!! Like no one could tell me anything!!! Even if it didn’t last... yay for progress

- Had an amazing Fall semester after a horrible spring semester even though my grades are not exactly where I want them to be

- Finally tried the bars out at my school after 2 years... should’ve done it 2 years ago

- Witnessed UVA football win the ACC championship/coastal clash after losing to tech for 15 years!!!!

- Stopped limiting myself to only black (Greek life) parties (where I felt comfortable... barely) and partied with the Persian club, friend’s house parties, kickbacks with my study abroad friends

- Went to frat parties...? Interesting and not as nerve-wracking and judgemental as I thought (If you know about uva culture then you know)

- Put myself out there + way more comfortable initiating conversations with new people aka actually stopped being a p*ssy and showed my charismatic side from the jump.

- Way more comfortable talking to guys in both a platonic and romantic way and actually made really good guy friends (idk why this was such a struggle in college when it wasn’t before) (my friend told me that I had a really flirty personality and it worked in my favor and to stop being p*ssy Bc I’m not awkward even though I think I am lol.)

- Kicked it with three of my friends that I went to India with in 2017 (summer abroad with gov scholarship...pre-college)

- My hair flourished!!!!!

- Volunteered to help low income ppl around my school fill out there tax forms + doing it again this year

- My (older) friend got married and I was a bridesmaid!!

- Remained a broke bitch through it all but learned how to finesse the university

-Embarrased myself with the cute co-worker from earlier??? still don’t know. Maybe i’m over-thinking but we will see ahahaha. --> Also lowkey slid in the DMS earlier and he asked for my # and to get lunch --> lets hope we get lunch next sem

TW**** (Dep/Anx/Suic)

So much good happened this year but the panic attacks and anxiety attacks were still there. The were days spent in bed. Days where I thought I couldn’t finish school and thought I would be a failure because life was too hard. I dealt with horrible friendships, sucky family members, and draining financial hardships. However, I don’t recall ever feeling like suicide was the answer (when I felt like that in the prior years.) For the most part, I was excited about life. 2019 was amazing and I’m really excited for 2020!!!! 2019 made me feel like this black girl from the South Bronx has a chance at making it!! Here’s to more travel, love, feeling free, friendship, happiness, and many firsts in 2020 💛

[mysplaced-pen]

I'm aro ace too!! Bless omg!!! I love seeing other people who are aro, or ace, or both because it reminds me that there are others like me lol. That being said, can we have the RFA plus V react to an MC who is aromantic? I've seen people do ones where MC is asexual, but never aromantic and I understand that is likely due to the fact that the game is based on romancing the characters and all that, but I just want to see one where they are aro. Thank you, and I love you lots bc you're great!!!

T^T listen,,,i’ve been wanting to write/read one of these for the longest time, but I thought the same thing. Thank you for sending it to me! and bless!! you’re my friend now. I love you lots too💛

hope you like it! °\(^▿^)/° …was this a little self indulgent? ,,maybe

zen

he didn’t know it, but his flirting always made mc laugh

at least they weren’t uncomfortable..and they always joked back with him

and there was a connection, even mc knew that 

when zen asked mc to date him, however, they got uncomfortable 

what were they gonna tell him?

“uh…zen, listen”

they could practically see his pout forming

“no, listen! i would love to date you,” the smile is back on his face

“but..I’m aromantic” 

*cue a confused af look on zen’s face* “what does that mean?”

it takes some explaining, lots in his case since he’s the Romance King, but he eventually understands 

and he’s totally okay with it!

he and mc become Besties. like they minus well be dating, but mc is aro so they both just laugh when they get asked that

this is how zen helps break the “”can’t be friends without dating” stereotype god bless

Protector Zen Mode when people try to flirt with mc 

they still call each other ‘babe’ because, well, that’s what they are to each other 

cuddles are also still an option

yoosung

you know the “pre-girlfriend” business?

mc nervous laughs before replying with a yes

but then they call yoosung

“oh my gosh this is going to sound so mean, but yoosung i- im aromantic-”

yoosung is also confused 

but he gets it faster than zen

“oh! im so sorry!! did I make you uncomfortable?” 

“no no, but im sorry if you don’t want to talk to me anymore-” “no way! you still helped me through everything. that doesn’t change”

mc is still yoosung’s official taste tester dw 

they become gaming buddies! but mc manages his gaming 

they’re the best person to whoop yoosung back into shape

it’s like they’ve become siblings  

jaehee

listen, jaehee would be the easiest to come out to

because she “just wanted to be friends anyways” sure babe

mc tells her and she asks questions to get more informed 

she’s polite and is genuinely interested! 

makes sure that no customers in the cafe makes mc feel uncomfortable from hitting on them

cheek kisses are totally still a thing, listen 

platonic kisses!!

they are,, the sweetest besties 

who will kick your ass in a second

mc is the only one who jaehee shares her dvds with

and they practice judo together!

jumin

when mc explained it to him, he thought thats what he was

but..he did get a crush on them, so maybe not…

and that’s how mc helped him learn he was demisexual

but he has the upmost respect for mc

romantic love is not important to jumin, but it would be nice to have

definitely asks mc if his love for elizabeth is considered weird

they tell him no, but that he should cool it down;;

the two of them end up being really good friends

jumin just give whoever is hitting on mc a cold glare and they are Gone

boyfriend or not, jumin is protective

probably wants mc to join the business, since there would be no danger of office relationships

but respects their decision either way

he just likes that he has someone who’s around that actually likes him. not for his money or because they think he’s attractive

but they like talking to him 

707 / luciel / saeyoung

another easy one to come out to

but he doesn’t even ask questions, he just understands 

probably relates a little, or so he says

really he just understands the aesthetics of people

listens to mc rant about how they want to date people

“but then someone decides to have a crush on you.” “exACTLY”

its ok, he understands

pretends to be their boyfriend if someone decides to try to hit on them and they’re uncomfortable

platonic “i love yous” are a thing

they are just two memes. two best friend memes 

get matching bestie t-shirts 

v / jihyun

listen this honestly could just be a route for him if cheritz doesnt want to make it romantic

mc helps jihyun get over rika by showing him other types of love

familial love. platonic love. 

the love he has for the rfa and how they love him in return

mc tells him about aromance too and he listens carefully 

thank gosh he doesn’t have to worry about hurting their feelings

because he’s not over all the traumatic events yet

which mc tells him is fine! it’s a recovery process

but he needs to focus on this platonic love he has for the rfa

so he does

and he gets better

slowly, but he does get better

he even decides to get that surgery 

[basicallybing]

Get to Know Me (Tag)

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag some friends.

Thanks for tagging me, @steve-rogers-best-girl​ :)

LAST:

1. drink: water

2. phone call: my dad

3. text message: my dad

4. song you listened to: i think Holding On To You by twenty one pilots

5. time you cried: a couple hours ago

HAVE YOU:

6. dated someone twice: lol joke’s on you i haven’t even dated someone once ha. ha. ha. ugh.

7. kissed someone and regretted it: i haven’t ever kissed someone at all lol what are these questions

8. been cheated on: in a competitive game of pokemon maybe but yall i havent dated what is happening

9. lost someone special: i mean i once had a toxic friend and i super duper got rid of her i guess but like thats it

10. been depressed: never been diagnosed but im pretty sure i’ve had depression since around third grade (but that’s a story for another time)

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: ew???? i’ve never even drank alcohol why am i answering these questions ew

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:

12. white

13. various blues and teals

14. golden yellow

IN THE LAST YEAR, HAVE YOU:

15. made new friends: yep!

16. fallen out of love: platonically with a toxic-as-heck friend yeah

17. laughed until you cried: absolutely!

18. found out someone was talking about you: yep

19. uhh ya skipped 19 so idk what to put here lol

20. found out who your friends are: yeah

21. kissed someone on your facebook list: sErIoUsLy? *face palm*

GENERAL:

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl? i dont have a facebook

23. do you have any pets? yep, a doggo!

24. do you want to change your name?  y e s  p l e a s e ��! ! ! ! !

25. what did you do for your last birthday? had some of muh frens over

26. what time do you wake up? for school at like 5:30, but over the summer i’ve been waking up around 9ish

27. what were you doing at midnight last night? crying

28. name something you can’t wait for: a month ago i would have said Pokemon Go Fest but nope i got my hopes up for that like usual and of course i cant go  uh i cant wait to get a desk finally i dont have a desk *shrug*

29. when was the last time you saw your mom? *shouts down the hall* “hi mom!”

30. what is one thing you wish you could change in your life? i’d like a whole new wardrobe that magically made me look thinner and happier all the time and that allowed strangers to see me for me and not me for some slouch who wears sweatpants all the time bc i dont have any other clothes that dont cripple me with dysphoria lmao woot woot

31. what are you listening to right now? primarily Regional at Best by twenty one pilots bc its calming for me

32. have you ever talked to a person named tom? actually??? im not sure...?? i’ve definitely talked to a few thomas-es but none of them go by tom *shrug*

33. something that is getting on your nerves: when my mom says we can’t afford to buy me a desk but then she goes out and buys other decor for the house

34. most visited website: probably youtube, netflix, instagram, and tumblr if you include the use of apps

35. any moles? nope

36. any birthmarks? none of which i’m aware

37. childhood dream: not sure. i always wanted to be a superhero like spider-man and whatnot i guess.

38. hair color? brown

39. hair length? short

40. do you have a crush? do fictional characters count? if so, yes -- peter parker, ben wyatt, and chandler bing

41. what do you like about yourself? i’m nice.

42. any piercings? just the basic earlobe piercings, but i never wear anything in them. i’m surprised theyre still open.

43. blood type? crap i need to ask my mom about this. it’s good to know for safety reasons.

44. any nicknames? anything you know me as on here is technically a nickname because i go by my birthname everywhere else... sooo, yeah. chandler is a nickname. i also get addressed as ‘???’ and as ‘Q,’ which is just short for “question marks” bc idk what my name should be but yep i go by chandler for now i guess *shrug*

45. relationship status: jealous

46. zodiac: aries

47. pronouns: they/them are preferable but i never correct people if they use anything else bc i’m just so accustomed to my own confusion

48. favorite tv show: agh i guess Parks and Rec is my number-one, but i also love Friends, The Good Place, Agents of SHIELD, Daredevil, and Legion (which cRaP i need to finish watching)

49. uh yeah i think you skipped this one too

50.  righty or lefty? righty

51. any surgeries? nope

52. ever dye your hair? I WISH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

53. favorite sport? to play? basketball. to watch? football. although if my family was more into hockey i bet i’d love that.

54. hgfdskgfskjfhskjf you skipped this one too

55. dream vacation? honestly, i don’t care where we go as long as it’s somewhere out of the country and i get to travel with my friends in an evan edinger sorta way, you know?

56. favorite pair of sneakers? i mean?? i only have the one... it’s a nike hyperdunk i think? like, an older one? idk theyre comfy 

57. eating: nothing right now...

58. drinking: i mean i have water next to me so like i guess water is my answer

59. about to: hurry the heck up and finish answering these questions lmao

60. you skipped it

61.  ........ 

62. want: to travel and to be happy

63. ever going to get married? if i do, it won’t be a huge ceremony. it won’t be religious. and it will have to be to somebody very, very special to me. 

64. career: i’m a student right now

65. hugs or kisses? if i have to choose, hugs, but please don’t hug me without asking and dont be offended if i say no. i’m really uncomfortable about physical contact.

66.  lips or eyes? eyes 1000000%

67. tall or short? i’m short.

68. older or younger? what’s this question...? im confused and don’t know how to answer it tbh

69. there’s no question here

70. nice arms or nice stomach?  me? neither lol im Ugly

71. sensitive or loud? if you’re close with me, you’re the lucky people who know i’m both

72. hook up or relationship? EW DEFINITELY RELATIONSHIP IM SO ASEXUAL

73. troublemaker or hesitant? this makes it sound like it’s bad to not be a troublemaker. i’m not a troublemaker but its not because im hesitant. it’s because im a good person. and i dont mean to imply that troublemakers arent good people, but im not either of those things...???

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. kissed a stranger?  i  h a v e  n e v e r  k i s s e d  a n y o n e .

75. drank hard liquor?  i  a m  u n d e r a g e .

76. lost glasses or contact lenses? no, but i’ve broken my glasses before

77. turned someone down? unless you include that time that i was asked out as a dare, no.

78. had sex on the first date?  i  h a v e  n e v e r  b e e n  o n  a  d a t e  a n d  i  a m  a s e x u a l .

79. broken someone’s heart? not that i’m aware of

80. had your heart broken? yeah, by that Toxic Person who i mention all the time. it wasnt a romantic thing but i hate that person with a burning passion i cannot even bEGIN to tell you

81. been arrested? no definitely not

82. cried when someone died? in real life? . . . no. no one close to me has died. but i have cried at fictional deaths

83. fallen for a friend? kind of but not really idk its complicated and not worth it

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. yourself? on good days

85. miracles? not unless by “mircales” you mean “coincidences”

86. love at first sight? not for myself, but maybe for someone who is more into looks. and i dont mean that negatively but like thats just not really my kinds thing necessarily.

87. santa claus? well considering i was raised jewish but am currently atheist imma have to say no

88. kissing on the first date? i’ve never been able to experience what kissing or dating is like but if it feels right for someone then i have nothing against it

OTHER: 

90. current best friend names: katie, claire, lizzie (i tag posts with their names when stuff reminds me of them hehe)

91. eye color? brown

92. favorite movie? i loved that new Spider-Man: Homecoming film, but Guardians of the Galaxy has always been one of my go-to movies, so probably GOTG

i tag anyone who wants to do this bc frankly im lazy and dont feel like tagging anyone heh lol