#and I don’t want that
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I feel bad cause I haven’t posted any of my own content for a while but I can’t seem to find the motivation 😣 I tried to make a gifset last night but I just couldn’t get into it. I need to make SOMETHING.
#I have that fear of being forgotten and left behind#and I don’t want that#but ough I just Cannot seem to make anything or talk about my OCs lately
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so this is 4 japanese ladies in the gpf now right? right.
mone rinka rion. any two of you three let’s GO (or amber. that would be fine too)
#(the ✅ is just for those who’ve done both their assignments)#figure skating#amber will probably be in there and i have no problem with that i just think it would be so funny#to have all japanese women in the final#realistically idk about rion getting in cause even if she won somebody else (namely one of my favs)#would have to flop to not get more points than her#and i don’t want that#anyway. never mind my “ data ”
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In the coming days I’m probably going to try and anonymize this blog and my art blog as much as possible given the direction the US is going
Time to completely rebrand my art blog and think of an entirely new name
#zethransolaris still isn’t like my legal name by any stretch of the imagination#but there’s like. a tangential connection with irl there#and I don’t want that#z’s yappin again#ah shit I’m going to have to change my yappin tags too#I just want as little connection as possible so no more z’s
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i have a confession to make:
im scared i wont like 1989 tv because the og is literally my favorite album of all time and the songs WILL sound different which is why im scared
#on first listen they will sound wrong#and I don’t want that#taylor swift#1989#1989 tv#1989 era#the eras tour#the eras movie#midnights#blank space#style#out of the woods#.x
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guys I think I might be trans
#I never considered myself trans or used the term#Cause I didn’t have constant gender dysphoria so I just thought that I couldn’t be trans#Maybe it was also my awkwardness on using the term for myself#But now that I think about it I’ve wanted top surgery for a long while#And whenever I think about doing things (for example baseball) I get insanely jealous and depressed#All I can think of is “I don’t want what you have I wanna be you”#The only way I’d ever be able to be on a baseball team is if I were a guy#The only way I’d ever be considered one of the boys (not in a cringe way I just want to have guy friends A LOT) is if I were born a boy#I’m constantly expected to grow up and be the children bearer and good wife#And I don’t want that#I’ve always been more masc presenting with interests others said was more boyish#Idk I just wanted to talk about it#Trans#transgender
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Hey would you look at that it’s another tighnari x cyno tickle art yay (its late help-) also no I don’t think I’ll ever do line art/color for any of these sorry forgivenesses cookie? 🍪
1. tighnari likes to tease cyno so there’s that (manly cuz I hear tighnari saying it like he’s talking to 5-8 year old lol) and cyno gets BIG mad under arms is cynos worst spot (don’t tell him I seid that shhhh)
2. tighnari likes to sleep in (guest room is colleis so cyno and tighnari sleep/cuddle together) also yes I headcanon cyno calls tighnari ‘love’ to both tease him and show he loves him also tighnaris ears are his worst spot (again don’t tell those are our secrets shhhhh I’ll give u a cookie to stay quiet 🍪)
#ler!tighnari#ler!cyno#lee!tighnari#lee!cyno#be safe#hope yall have a good day#bye bye now my gibbles#tickle art#:)#here’s the 🍪 now go and don’t tell cyno and tighnari i told them there worst spots or they’ll go for mine#and I don’t want that#so take it and stay quiet 🍪 shhh our secret ok?#i’m having a great time#fun time#it’s 12:15 a
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see I’ve commited so hard this long to not making a sideblog that now that I have one I can’t find myself posting anything not related to it’s Point bc then what am I supposed to say about it here yknow?
#like if i post about bonedo on the sideblog i won’t have bonedo to post here#and i don’t want that#bc one day the sideblog purpose will be fulfilled#and then i’ll have to comeback here#and then what#alison speaks?
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Did a bunch of walking to get some sunlight (it’s spring now) and get some happy back. Well, maybe not happy, but some improvement to a downward brain spiral. Worth it to see a kookaburra (I hear them a lot but rarely see) and some very fluffy native hen chicks. And a curly black doodle type dog whose owner told firmly to sit as I walked past and not jump, had such a happy face and behaved very nicely.
#I’m kind of scared of dogs even though I’d love to give a pat#big breath again#intense dreams last night didn’t help#and then I read a post about this site being one board meeting away from shutting down#and I don’t want that#anyway#put the tags down jen
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I’m gonna go for a second probably just a few minutes to an hour I just feel horrible with being sick and remembering shit I didn’t want to love you guys
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-🫀
#i need to calm down#so I don’t start crying#but it triggered the memory of 6 years old me#and i don’t want that#I’ll focus on my own health first and try to forget about the incident#I threw away the bottle caps in the trash#delete
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I’m so lonely I’m gonna die. Nvm I’m fine. I’m so lonely I’m gonna die. Nvm I’m fine. I’m so lonely I’m gonna die. Nvm I’m fi—
#I feel so incredibly isolated#usually I can cope but like#having no friends that live close to me is really getting to me#and I don’t want to make friends that live locally I can’t vibe with people like that#I’m not Normal enough for ‘irl’ people if that makes sense#and I don’t WANT that#I want *my* friends that I love and feel comfortable with#I just wanna cuddle :(
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Getting ghosted by two jobs and having to remind myself that it is of no fault of my own and i just don’t fucking understand why they won’t just tell you that you didn’t get the job!!! Like i know someone else got it!! You can tell me it’s ok!!!
#it just leaves a bad taste in my mouth#I saw that the one job I wanted is now looking for volunteers to help screen films#which means I’d be working underneath my friend who got the job :)#and I don’t want that#for all that just fucking pay me to be a programmer#whatever
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uk journalists having to report through gritted teeth that there were no riots last night as thousands of anti-racist protesters significantly outnumbered the racist rioters across the country
#i don’t want to run before we can walk ok but perhaps sometimes the uk… doesn’t totally suck ass#2024 riots
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this shit is the only remaining good part of twitter
#paladin posting my new favorite twitter user#they made the funniest fucking comment on trump but i don’t want to share it because im paranoid#yeehaws#twitter#1k#10k#20k#50k
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Listen to skyjacks also look at my cat
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People against piracy fail to realize that no, I can’t just ‘buy it.’ They stopped making DVDs and Blu-Rays. They’re barely offering digital copies for download. I am not spending money I could use for food or bills to pay for a subscription service just so I can always have access to a beloved piece of media. Especially not when the service will remove media on a whim without concern for how the loss of access to that piece will make its artistic conservation nigh impossible.
For example, I recently learned that Disney+ had an original film called Crater. It’s scifi, family friendly, and seems cool - I would love to buy it as a holiday gift for my little brother! But: it’s exclusive to D+ and THEY REMOVED IT LITERALLY MONTHS AFTER ITS RELEASE.
The ONLY way I can directly access this film is through piracy. The ONLY available ‘copies’ of this film are hosted on piracy websites. Disney will NEVER release it in theaters, or as something to buy, and it may NEVER return to the streaming service. It will be LOST because we aren’t allowed to purchase it for personal viewing. If I can’t pay to own it, I won’t pay for the privilege of losing it when corporate decides to put it in a vault.
So yes, I’m going to pirate and support piracy.
Edit: if you are able, use $5 you would otherwise use for a streaming subscription to donate to a GazaFunds campaign.
#edit: go to https://gazafunds.org/ and donate $5 you would otherwise spend on streaming services on a campaign!#ra speaks#piracy#media piracy#pirate to make hondo ohnaka proud#obligatory ‘don’t fucking pirate small authors/artists works wtf dude’ statement.#anyone who’s seen my media bitching before knows I’m a hype man for indie films this ain’t about them#this is about corporate streaming services killing physical media bc sales numbers are less impressive than number of streams#edit: USAmericans stop telling me to buy DVDs and blurays at Walmart. think outside your borders for a hot sec. fun thought exercise.#your experiences are not universal#edit: WHO GOT THIS TO 100k. I JUST WANT TO TALK (this post is my second to hit 100k woahg.)#in other news: fix your fucking posture. drink some fucking water. and go the fuck to bed if it’s late bc it’s for me rn. peace and light.
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