#and I don’t put it past Rick to do something like this either

[cultofdixon]

Strong, Healthy, that’s all that matters

Daryl Dixon • She/Her Pronouns • Part 2 to “You do what you can” • Alexandria is a wonderful luxury the group was given. Even with the ups and downs • ANGST/SFW/NSFW - Nudity • TW: Miscarriage Mentioned / Pregnancy / Vomiting & Excessive Nausea / Canon Violence

Requested by: Anon

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“Why are you out here and not inside with Y/N?” Carol asked her best friend from her porch while he sat on the fence fiddling with his crossbow.

“Doc gave her a sedative. She’s safe, don’t gotta watch her”

“Then why are you biting your thumb every now and then?” She comments on his anxious habit resulting in Daryl stopping himself from continuing.

“She’s weak, can barely stand weak. I’m tryin’ to think of what to do for her when the best thing for her right now is sleep and the IV that doc put in her. He comes by every hour to give us a new one and take the old one to refill. Rick or I change it but I don’t know what else I could do”

“Well, how about I make something that I ate during my pregnancy that I knew I kept down…see if Y/N can handle it. If not, I’ll keep making things pregnancy friendly with what we’ve got.”

“I heard what yea said when they took her to the infirmary.” Daryl hung his head low to avoid her shocked expression. “You wished she’d lost it, then she wouldn’t be useless when we take this place if people fuck with us enough.”

“Daryl—-“

“If yea mean it, then do that shit for my partner and our baby. Otherwise I’ve got it.”

“Yet you’re siting out here and not being with her. Doesn’t matter if you can’t do anything but watch her sleep or hell, sleep with her why not. That’s doing something” Carol states walking past to go to the pantry.

“You look ridiculous by the way!” He had to make one last comment which got a laugh out of the woman.

After a bit more time sitting on the porch to think of anything else he could do for his partner, he decided it was best to listen to his best friend. But when he entered the bedroom Y/N took, she wasn’t in bed and her IV bag was unhooked from her and clamped to keep it from continuing to dispense. Daryl was about to let his anxiety take over when he heard splashing of water.

The second he peaked his head into the bathroom, Y/N quickly turned to him.

“Hi…”

“Hi…how are yea…” His face distorted to the mixture of smells happening in the room. “feeling? What is—-“

“Vomit. I didn’t…make it to the toilet or the trash can at least and puked all over my clothes” Y/N frowns feeling awful about it as she quickly turned away to avoid her tears being noticeable. It’s small potatoes but she’s crying anyway…and again.

Daryl brought himself to kneel by the bath gently taking her chin bringing her attention onto him. He then took care of wiping away the tears bringing out that smile of hers as he leans against the edge of the tub.

“I’ll get you clean clothes. There’s sweats I saw….uhm. Did you take your IV out? Do I have to get—-“

“No it was uhm. The IV tubing was one like a screw in and not a needle piercing the plastic” Y/N showed him that she taped the excess tubing to her arm and did her best to keep it dry. “It’s honestly hard to explain and just easier to show you when I put it back in”

“Puttin’ your old nursing days to use”

“Surprised you even remember that…and it was just a clinic” Y/N laughs softly sinking a bit into the water that was starting to lose its warmth.

“Everythin’ you’ve said to me, I’ve kept to memory. You’re my girl.” Daryl gave her a soft smile which she will take to memory as she brought her hand to rest on his cheek watching him kiss the inside of her palm.

“You know you don’t have to be calm with me…” Y/N reassures even when he gave her a confused look. “I have gotten pretty good at reading your expressions, especially your infamous blank ones…I know you don’t like it here. It’s…scary and I’m not gonna get used to it instantly either or like the others”

“All I want is to keep my family safe. Something doesn’t feel right here but all I gotta do is keep y’all safe”

Y/N smiles bringing herself to the edge pressing a kiss to his lips as he happily returns the gesture.

“Need help out?” Daryl asks when Y/N pulled the stopper out to let the water drain. She nods watching him stand up holding his hands out for her to take carefully.

The second Daryl helped her stand to her feet his eyes fixated on something that anxiously took Y/N’s attention.

“What happened?”

“Nothin’. Nothin’ bad” Daryl states still staring as he helps her out of the tub and reaching for the towel on the sink she set out for herself. “You’re showin’” he says while gently wrapping her in the towel and finding the opportunity to rest his hand on her belly after giving her a quick glance for any signs from her of not wanting him to do such.

But his large hands make it look like nothing in comparison to Y/N keeping the towel from covering her belly a moment so she could rest her hand on her small but growing bump. She couldn’t help the tears that started to form at her waterline when looking at the small bump as she was worried ever since she found out she was pregnant and had this 1 in a million case of intense nausea that the baby wouldn’t grow.

Yet here they were admiring the small thing as Daryl rest his forehead against hers a moment while they both looked before he wrapped her entirely in the towel and picking her up bridal style carrying her back to the rest of bedroom.

Once she dressed in the sweats and long sleeve Daryl had gotten out for her, it felt like a cue for Rick to step in without knocking but Y/N was used to that. She grew up with the guy.

“How are yea feeling?”

“I’m doing okay” Y/N gave him a tired smile while showing Daryl how to reconnect the IV bag. “Did you need something?”

“Yeah you remember Deanna coming in to introduce herself to you?”

“Yeah?” The confusion grew on her partner’s face to what he was getting at.

“She’s throwing a welcoming party or whatever they’re called for our infusion to the place. She wants you to come if you’re feeling well enough”

“I could just lie—-“

“Yeah I know but I have to go and so are the kids. I’d just. Like it if you came” Rick says on his way out before Y/N could say anymore on the matter. She turned to Daryl and before he could share his concerns on why he doesn’t exactly feel welcomed…

“You don’t have to come if you don’t want to. Frankly I don’t…really want to either. I never fit in with this kind of crowd” Y/N rest her head on Daryl’s shoulder feeling his arm snake around her bringing her close. “You just be safe with whatever you do and I promise you I will be safe.”

“You just know what to say huh?” Daryl chuckles lightly pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “I’ll uh…well, I wanna check out the place when there’s not a lot of people ‘round”

“Can you make sure the wall is actually secure?”

“That what you’re really worried about?”

“I’m pregnant, Dar. I’m worried about a lot of things”

The night of the party came and Rick quietly approaches Y/N’s bedroom knocking on the door frame watching her attention go from the full body mirror to him. She was wearing a dress that was more on the fitted side and showed off her bump, the dress was given to her by Deanna. As if she wanted to show everyone who the pregnant newcomer was.

“You look miserable”

“Yeah but not in that sense. The doc came by to check me out…as per request by—-“

“Jesus fucking Christ”

“And he said I should be fine to go. So I can’t really stand up this party…especially since she also dropped this dress off and it’s like. She wants everyone to know I’m the pregnant one”

“Yeah I don’t quite understand this whole “reliving the old life” Alexandria’s got going for it. But I’ve found a sweater in my closet that I think you’d like to wear over the dress.” Rick tossed his sister the grey sweater that she instantly put on. “Well don’t we clean up nice”

“You miss it?” Y/N questions as she sits on the edge of the bed slipping her untied converse with ease as Rick instantly knelt down to help her by tying them. “The old world?”

“Honest? I don’t”

“Why?”

“I missed my sister, now I see her everyday” Rick stood to his feet once he tied her shoes and helped her up. “I don’t ever want to go back to rarely ever seeing you”

The first thirty minutes of the party, Y/N was approached by those simply introducing themselves to the newcomers and the occasional woman that was too curious about her pregnancy. She even had to swat someone from touching her belly. It seemed to only get worse when one of Deanna’s sons, Aiden walked over trying to do his usual shtick.

“Come here often?”

Gross. “Nope” Y/N tried to brush him off but he kept his place.

“I saw yea come in on a stretcher. Thank god a bombshell like yourself pulled through”

“I wasn’t dying”

“Ah well. Still”

“Still what? Did you not see the man glued to my side or the smallest but obvious reason why I had to be rolled into this shithole?” Y/N glared at the man while holding her belly as Aiden cleared his throat.

“I uh. Just thought you were fat—-“

“EXCUSE ME?!” Y/N scoffs about to break this man in half when Maggie cut in and physically shoved the guy back.

“Woah watch it. I was having a conversa—-“

“Yeah and it’s done, unless you want me to let her beat you to a pulp”

“Like her weak ass can even land a punch”

And without another word, Maggie moved out of Y/N’s way and she didn’t hesitate to land a good one right in the kisser. Aiden instantly fumbled back about to fight back when Reg instantly pulled his son away letting Deanna take care of the situation. But Y/N had enough of being there.

“Come on Rocky, let’s get you home before the ref realizes what happened to her bitch of a son” Maggie quickly wrapped an arm around her friend’s shoulders walking out of the house and heading toward the Grimes’s residence.

“Hope Daryl is having a better time than I am.” Y/N frowns feeling the sick feeling return.

Meanwhile Daryl was checking out the bike frame Aaron had shown him and while he was making a plate for the archer’s partner…Eric wobbled in.

“Hey you never told us your wife’s name”

“She’s not my—-Y/N—We ain’t married.” Daryl fumbled a bit as he had that strange old world feeling when it came to their “situation”.

Y/N Grimes is the love of Daryl Dixon’s life. Neither of them like labels.

Daryl calls her sunshine, darling, and lovely.

Y/N calls him my love, babe, and the occasional Darbear for the fun of it.

The archer calls her his partner to others and some part of him would love to use my wife.

So what’s stopping me? Daryl thought as Eric gave him a confused look after his scrambling.

“I know we just met but do you mind if I push?”

“Why do yea want to?”

“Because I feel like it. I talked to Y/N when we were both in the infirmary” Eric leaned against the door frame with his arms crossed. “She’s a catch, and fate brought you two together…you don’t need a fancy wedding for a union anymore. I get some don’t like labels or whatever, but honestly, those labels are sometimes not for you…besides” He reached into his pocket tossing a ring box at the archer. “She loved that”

Such little time in the infirmary lead to a lot of unanswered questions. But Daryl found himself heading back to the Grimes’s residence with a wrapped plate of spaghetti and a ring in a velvet box. Nothing too fancy. Nothing like what the brides have in the old movies. It suited them. That’s how perfect it was.

“Hey Dixon!” Pete calls out to Daryl carrying a few things in his hands as he stalls by the steps. “Got a few things for your woman after doing a bit of research and what happened tonight”

“The fuck happen tonight?”

Pete gave him about the same level of blank staring before handing him one of those instant ice packs. “She punched the Monroe boy. Should help with the bruising. Plus found one of these pregnancy books in what we are suppose to call a library? Anyway and some nausea meds”

“Thanks…” Daryl accepted everything as he watches him leave before quickly picking up where he left off heading inside.

The archer quickly dropped the plate off on the kitchen island before making his way upstairs and into their shared room finding her still awake. Y/N still wearing the sweater her brother gave her but was finally out of that stupid dress. When she locked eyes with her partner, some part of her wished she still wore it for him to see but she was more focused on everything he carried.

“You were busy tonight”

“Uh. I guess.” Daryl brought himself to sit beside Y/N feeling her lips instantly press onto his cheek the moment he sat before resting her cheek against his shoulder. “Heard about your right hook”

“Dumbass deserved it…”

“Gotta point him out for me, so I know who to fucking show who’s boss”

“I sort of already did, but I will” Y/N laughs lightly against him, taking the offered instant ice pack to crack it and hold it on her dominant hand. “What else you’ve got?”

“I’ve got yea a plate in the kitchen. Had dinner with Aaron and his partner Eric. It was…nice. I wish you were there with me” Daryl kissed the top of her head as she snuggled up into him humming in response. “The doc also gave me meds for yea to try when it comes to your vomiting”

“I can take down fluids so I don’t need the IV anymore. That’s one good thing happening”

“That’s great” Daryl repeated the phrase once more before carefully pulling away from Y/N setting down the nausea meds along with the pregnancy book that peaked her interest—-for only a short moment.

Because the archer getting down on one knee instantly brought her attention away.

“Daryl Dixon. What are you doing?”

“Something…something stupid? I…I know about what we think of labels and shit but I can’t shake this”

“Daryl…” Y/N softens bringing herself entirely to the edge of the bed.

“I’ve been wanting to call you my wife since the last month of peace back at the prison. I want and am gonna spend the rest of my life with you…and this peanut is just. Our overflowing love onto another human being…”

“So poetic of you, Daryl Dixon…” Y/N laughs softly bringing his face into her hands as the tears instantly fell from her touch.

“I love you so much, sunshine”

“I love you so much more Darbear” She smirks hearing his annoyed laugh escape his lips as she gently wipes away his tears. “Now are you going to ask me? Because I don’t need a ring to tell the world how much I love being your wife”

Daryl gently pulls away to take the ring box out of a pocket in his vest as it surprised Y/N slightly when he opened it. It brought out a small tearful laugh to the silver arrow wrapped into a ring. It was a little cheesy but it was for them.

“Will you be my wife, Y/N Grimes?”

“I do, Daryl Dixon. I sure as fucking hell do”

It’s been about two months since then. Y/N was now six months pregnant and Alexandria went through…a lot.

The wall collapsing

The herd

Carl losing an eye

Maggie’s pregnancy announcement

Losing a lot of Alexandrians

It took about a month to fix the wall and collect themselves, slowly bringing themselves back to a sense of normal.

The morning came slowly, or slower than usual…

Y/N shifted slightly in the bed feeling the discomfort truly grow in her back once she opened her eyes. A soft groan escaped her lips which stirred Daryl awake as he lifted his head to check her face for anything but kept his hand secured on her belly.

“The baby isn’t going to kick every time your hand is there”

“She does. Sometimes”

“She huh? What happened to strong and healthy…that’s all that matters?”

“That’s still fact. Don’t mean I can wish for somethin’ on the side” Daryl whispers as he pressed a kiss to her belly which resulted in a laugh from his wife but also a kick hitting his hand. “That’s my girl”

“Rick caught me up on your supply run just the two of you…promise you’ll be safe?”

“I always do don’t I?”

“Yeah but last time you came home with a knife wound in your shoulder”

“Alright, fair enough” Daryl brought himself to sit up and help his wife do the same as Y/N gently caressed his cheek worried about him. “I promise”

“Good…”

Because I have a weird feeling about today

[thevegandarkelf]

Finding Myself, Finding You: Chapter Thirty

Masterlist

AO3 link

Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist <3 (18+ only, MDNI)

Please please please proceed with extra caution for this one & read the TWs for this chapter below. This is your warning. Take care of yourself first 🖤

Story is 18+ for mature content/themes, minors do not interact please

TW/CWs for this story--implied/referenced past rape, canonical violence, non-canonical violence, blood, gore, referenced past suicide, swearing, surgery, excessive drinking, nightmares, panic attacks, mention of scars, vomiting, amputation, medical procedures, non-con medical procedures, referenced past medical torture, referenced past drugging, attempted sexual assault, panic attacks, mental health struggles, referenced sibling death, referenced parent death, PTSD

Each chapter will have its own TW/CWs listed

This story, Lydia Vector, her family, her bestie, Jake, and Adam (c) me, TheVeganDarkElf

TWD & its characters (c) AMC & Robert Kirkman, the writer of the comic series

TW/CWs for this chapter--swearing, blood, violence, gore, vomiting, someone who was raped being taunted by their rapist (seriously, proceed with caution), guns are used in this one, memory loss around a traumatic event, victim blaming, a sex toy is used as a weapon, allusion to past rape

Word count: 3.3k

It’d been a few days since I came clean to Daryl about my past. He was out on a hunting trip for a couple of those days, which gave me a lot of time to think over 1) our relationship and 2) everything I had said in the follow-up, particularly about how I didn’t think I could ever go by Lydia again. I’ll admit, I didn’t totally hate the way my name sounded when he said it. But it wasn’t in the cards right now. Maybe one day, he’d have permission to call me that. Maybe. Or maybe I’d just go by Vec forever. I don’t think he cared either way.

But he was back now, and he had taken me out for another day of hunting practice.

We were somewhere outside the walls, far enough out that we had to take the car to get there. Daryl and I had to practically beg Rick to take it out for something other than a run. Why not the bike, Rick had asked. But after a series of stories from me about people I’d fixed up in the ER after a motorcycle accident, and me putting my foot down and refusing to get on the bike without a helmet, he obliged.

Hunting practice was still just target practice for me, but calling it hunting practice in front of the others did a number in terms of boosting my ego. My skills had certainly improved over time, and I was so damn close to being able to hit a target dead center. I was past the point of needing to balance the bow on a log or another surface to steady it, but Daryl always insisted on having a hand, or two, on me to help keep me steady. A need? No. A want? Yes.

I was on the ground on one knee, and the scrap of paper on the tree in front of me was my target. I’d hit close to the center a couple of times, but I was determined to hit the center at least once before we were finished. Daryl had his hands on my hips, “keeping me steady.”

“Think ya got this one,” he encouraged as I loaded the crossbow one more time.

“Know I got this one,” I said. I lined my eye up with the scope, balancing the bow on my shoulder and aiming center like I had so many times before. I took a deep breath, and on the exhale, I released the trigger. And this time, I hit the paper just off of dead center. The excitement coursing through me nearly sent me catapulting into the air like a cannonball.

“I did it! Holy shit, I did it!” I dropped the crossbow next to me and threw myself around to hug Daryl, falling into his arms and nearly knocking him over in the process.

“Knew ya could do it,” he congratulated. The tight embrace he had me in, with his perfectly sculpted arm muscles flexing and relaxing against my back, was better than any trophy I could receive for such an accomplishment.

I picked up his bow and handed it to him. “I’ve got the best teacher around. Of course I could do it.”

He got up to grab the bolt out of the tree, and I slung my backpack over my shoulders. We’d been out there for hours, the sun was high in the sky, and I was in desperate need of sustenance. Daryl twirled the car keys in his hand, the soft jingle echoing through the otherwise quiet wooded area.

“Gonna hafta start bringin’ ya on huntin’ trips,” he commented, “y’know, good luck charm ’n all that.”

“To be honest, my hunger was the primary motivation,” I confessed as we stepped out of the tree line near the car.

“Hey Vec?” Daryl asked. He grabbed me lightly by the arm to turn me around. He looked nervous, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. And his eyes were darting between mine and my lips.

Daryl had never looked at me like that before, but I knew exactly what he was about to ask.

“Yeah?” I replied, unable to keep a huge grin from forming on my face. I kept my eyes locked with his, and my cheeks were quickly changing from baby pink to an electric fire-engine red. He brought a hand to my face, his fingers lightly dancing over my cheek. I feared the heat radiating off my face would burn him.

“Can I—“

A rustling in the trees across from us followed by a figure stumbling out interrupted our blissful moment.

Daryl whipped his locked-and-loaded crossbow around. I didn’t have time to grab my spear out of my bag and unsheathe it, so I grabbed my gun out of my leg holster. It wasn’t loaded, but whatever just stumbled out in front of us wasn’t going to be around long enough to find out, I hoped.

Its back was facing us when it came careening out of the tree line. At first, I thought it was a walker, but it wasn’t making any of the typical moaning or groaning noises that were quintessential to walkers. Then it had to be a person, but the way they were walking was off, like they had two left feet.

Or like their feet were backward.

He stumbled around to look at us, and his horrifyingly familiar face came into view. Immediately upon seeing him, I recognized him. That evil smirk warped its way across his face, eyeing me up and down, realizing it was me. My body physically recoiled, and without even a second of warning, I turned into the grass and started vomiting.

“No, that’s how you’re gonna react after not seeing me for so long?” His voice was like nails on a chalkboard, and I covered my ears so I wouldn’t have to hear him speak. Hot waterfalls of tears began to flow freely, already clouding my vision.

This can’t be happening, I thought. It shouldn’t be possible. There’s no way he would’ve survived, and even if he did, his limbs…how was he walking?

Daryl’s crossbow tapping on my back pulled me from my spiraling thoughts. “Vec, you know this guy?”

I whipped around and held my gun up at the man, my hands shaking violently, unable to keep the weapon steady. I spoke through gritted teeth, afraid I would start vomiting again if I opened my mouth. “Daryl, look at him.”

“All I see’s some jackass—“

“No Daryl, I want you to really look at him.”

He stared at the man for a minute, looking him up and down over and over again, scanning over every small detail. I saw a shift in his face when it finally clicked. He didn't have to say anything. The look of realization on his face said it all.

The man who had raped me, whose wicked face and lifeless eyes haunted my dreams every single night, who should’ve died over a year ago, was here, alive and well, right before our very eyes.

“Vec, you’re shakin’, put the gun down,” Daryl instructed. He stepped around me towards the man, getting between us and blocking his view of me. “Ya gonna get one of us hurt.” He didn’t know it wasn’t loaded, but that didn’t matter.

“How is it possible?” I whispered, my jaw starting to ache from how hard I was gritting my teeth together.

“Put the gun down,” Daryl demanded. I could tell he was trying his hardest to speak softly to me, like he always did, but the rage was seeping through. The redness of his face and the bulging vein in his neck further corroborated that.

“Name’s Adam. Maybe you can help me,” he asked as he put his hands in the air, his face still donning that horrific smirk. That was the first time I’d ever heard his name. “I’m looking for a place called Alexandria. Supposed to be a safe zone. Just point me in the right direction and we can part ways peacefully.”

Every joint in my body weakened, and I was on the verge of collapse. The heavy dose of adrenaline pumping through my system was the only thing that kept me on my feet. I slowly lowered my gun, sliding it back into my leg holster and reaching for what was supposed to be my knife. However, in the chaos of that morning, it'd appeared I accidentally grabbed my most unique weapon, the vibrator, and put it in the holster instead. It was going to have to do. I pulled it out and held it in a way that hopefully, from his distance, would make it look like a knife.

“Peace ain’t an option for ya,” Daryl seethed. He was practically foaming at the mouth in anger now.

“You’re not g—getting anywhere n—near my p—p—people,” I snapped, my voice beginning to shake as violently as my hands were.

“Your people? Would you look at that. We can be together again.” Adam paced back and forth in front of us, hands still in the air. He still hadn’t pulled out any weapon of his own, and he didn’t look like he had any on him. It was as if he had a death wish. “Do you remember all the fun times we had? Though you weren’t conscious for most of them.”

I turned to the grass beside me and began vomiting once again. My face was soaked with tears, and my vision was so blurry, I almost couldn’t see anything. Fun times, with an S? As in plural? As in more than once? My head was spinning, and I was sure I would pass out at any second.

Daryl reached into his pocket and absentmindedly threw the car keys back in my direction, not taking his eyes off Adam for even a second. The jingle of the keys landing at my feet cut through the thick tension that lingered in the air. “Vec, get in the car.”

“Yeah Vec, be a doll and get in the car,” Adam taunted, “let the men talk.” I wasn’t sure what I hated more—him calling me ‘doll’ or him calling me Vec. He turned his gaze to Daryl, gesturing to me. “This your woman?”

Daryl and I hadn’t made anything official yet. I expected him to say ‘no’, ‘none of your business’, or nothing at all. But he didn’t say any of those things.

“And if she is?”

Under different circumstances, I might’ve had the energy to ask what he meant by that.

“Did she tell you? She’s damaged goods, buddy.” Just when I thought I’d emptied my stomach of all of its contents, I threw up in my mouth, the acid singeing my teeth and tongue. I leaned over and spat it on the ground, coughing and gagging as my stomach heaved, attempting to pump more acid up my esophagus.

“Vec, get in the damn car!” Daryl ordered. Though I didn’t appreciate being snapped at, I knew he was just trying to protect me from Adam’s vile words and soulless eyes. He probably still felt guilty about what happened with Jake and didn’t want me to have to go through the same thing again.

I slowly knelt down and grabbed the keys, keeping my eyes locked on Adam, though I don’t know why I bothered. My vision was so clouded with tears that everything before me was a blur of vague shapes and colors. I put the keys in my pocket. Thankfully, I hadn’t accidentally thrown up on them.

“You two are cute,” Adam teased, far from complimentary, “you got him whipped, doll?"

"Ya best shut the hell up 'less you wanna get whipped, doll." Daryl took a few steps closer to him, his crossbow aimed at the center of his forehead. I shakily walked up and stood next to Daryl, the sex toy in my hand poised and ready to knock him upside the head if he so much as leaned further in our direction. This wasn’t Daryl’s fight to be had—it was mine.

“I’ll f—fucking k—kill you,” I threatened. My trembling voice made the threat seem far from credible.

“Couldn’t do it the first time, you coward,” he taunted. He was eyeing me up and down, and I could only imagine what sorts of thoughts were swirling around in his sick and twisted mind. It made me queasy.

“C—c—could a coward f—fuck up your limbs that b—badly, y—you f—f—fucking incel?” I swallowed hard and tried to control my rapid breathing. If it got out of control, I was going to start hyperventilating and pass out.

“Oh yeah, these,” he acknowledged, holding his hands up in front of him and lightly kicking his feet up one at a time, “took some getting used to. Learning to walk again took ages. You’re a pretty good doctor.”

Didn’t matter how good of a doctor I was—they never should’ve reattached in the first place. But we now lived in a world where the dead were walking around with the living. Stranger things had happened.

“Pretty good at a few other things too,” he taunted. I couldn’t see his face, but I could feel him undressing me with his eyes.

My body couldn’t handle the stress any longer. My knees gave out, and I dropped to the dirt road, catching myself and falling on my butt. Tiny pebbles dug into my hands and the back of my legs. The jagged dirt particles scratched my skin, the heat from the road bathing in the sun all day adding to the pain. I wrapped my arms around myself, like I was giving myself a hug. In reality, I hoped that if I squeezed tight enough, I would shrink down so small that I’d vaporize and disappear.

If I was with anyone other than Daryl, the embarrassment coursing through my veins surely would’ve killed me.

Daryl had decided that that was enough, and before I could say or do anything to stop him, he launched himself in Adam’s direction, tackling him and sending them both flying back and onto the ground a few feet away. Daryl started wailing on him, and he wasn’t holding anything back. Blood was flying, but thankfully, none of it was Daryl’s. He alternated between punching him in the face or chest and grabbing him by the collar of his shirt and slamming him into the ground. I’d seen Daryl angry before, but I’d never seen him this angry. I didn’t witness him beat the shit out of Jake, but if I had to guess, this was worse.

“I’ll fuckin’ kill ya!” Daryl screamed, once again grabbing him by the collar and slamming him into the ground head first.

I knew Daryl was going to keep that promise. If I let him continue, Adam would be dead in minutes, if not sooner. But something came over me. Whatever little fight my body had left in it came shooting to the surface, swelling in my chest and dancing across my fingertips, making them tingle. A small, almost non-existent glimmer of hope flickered in my eye.

This was my opportunity to do what I should’ve done a long time ago.

“Daryl!” I cried out. He ignored me and kept swinging. The only sounds echoing through the quiet forest were the man’s cries and groans of pain and Daryl’s fist making contact with him. I shakily brought myself onto my hands and knees, calling out to him again. “Daryl, let me do it!”

I got myself to my feet, my legs shaking like a baby deer as I stumbled my way over to them. Daryl was holding him up by the collar of his shirt, his legs straddling the man and keeping him pinned in place. As I approached them, Daryl took his eyes off of him for the first time since he’d shown up. He looked back at me, and even though I couldn’t see his beautiful face through the waterworks, it brought me some comfort to have his eyes on me.

“Let me do it…I wanna do it,” I choked out. A set of fingers touched my boot. It had to be Adam’s, so I stomped my foot onto his hand and twisted it back and forth, causing him to cry out in pain once again.

“Ya sure?” Daryl asked. I nodded and swallowed hard, my throat bone-dry from all my vomiting and heavy breathing.

“I need to,” I iterated, “I should’ve done it before. Let me do it.” He nodded and let go of Adam’s collar, his body and head hitting the ground with a loud thud.

Daryl got up and grabbed his crossbow off the ground, handing it to me. I took the stealthy weapon in my hands, which were still trembling ever so slightly. Daryl’s fingers touched mine, offering little strokes of encouragement. I turned my attention to the bloody pulp of a human on the ground, his moans and groans further evidence of just how much pain he was in. I stepped forward and stood over him, one leg on each side of his body.

“Shut up,” I ordered, bringing the crossbow up and striking the side of his face with it. He screamed, and based on the breaking of his voice, he was on the verge of tears. I dropped to my knees, using them to keep his arms in place. I brought the crossbow up again and struck the other side of his face. Y’know, to even it out. Daryl stood behind me, occasionally patting my shoulder, making sure I knew he was there to back me up.

“Fuck…you,” he seethed. He attempted to spit on me, but he was so weak that it just dribbled out of his mouth and onto his chin. I held the crossbow up, the bolt centered on his face.

"There's a special circle of Hell designed just for you,” I sneered. I aimed for his face, but not his brain. I didn’t want this to be the fatal shot. I had another idea for that.

I placed a quivering finger on the trigger and lined the bow up with his mouth. I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and pulled the trigger. The bolt hit the back of his throat at point-blank range, causing him to scream the loudest he had so far, followed by a string of sick, twisted cackles. I expected him to start crying at this point, but he didn’t—he started laughing.

I tossed the crossbow beside me and rubbed my eyes with my fists, clearing my vision for the first time since the waterworks had begun. I saw his face, crystal clear on the ground in front of me, covered in blood and dirt. There wasn’t a single sparkle of life behind those cold, dead eyes. He was smirking, but not smirking like he did when he was undressing me with his eyes or recollecting the day he assaulted me. He was smirking like he was pleased with me, delighted by my actions even. I grabbed the vibrator, which I had tossed on the ground earlier, and held it up to his face, ready to deliver the fatal blow.

Taking my rapist out with a sex toy felt fitting.

“Well look at you,” he coughed, spitting blood up onto me. The tone of his voice was that of a proud parent. “You got it in you after all, Vec.”

I brought the vibrator up, pointed end facing him, and used every ounce of measly strength I had left to force it into his eye socket. He howled in pain as blood poured from it, his howling becoming slightly gurgled as some of the blood pooled in his throat. I pushed it in slowly, as I wanted to make sure my voice would be the last thing he heard before death scooped him up in its arms. As it penetrated his brain, his screaming began to die down, and his body went limp underneath me. Before he faded completely, I locked eyes with him and hissed the final words he’d ever hear as I pressed it all the way into his head.

“My name is Lydia.”

Taglist: @raddydaddydude @lovenormandixon @angeldemoncrowley

[the-delta-42]

Firsts 4: First Kiss

[First] [Previous] [Next]

Firsts Part 4

First Kiss

Michonne frowned at the email she’d received. She read through it three times and still couldn’t understand it.

“Everything alright?” Asked Rick, placed a cup of coffee next to her.

“A couple’s asked me to get restraining orders against their adoptive daughter’s biological parents.” Said Michonne, “I’ve tried to contact the social workers that placed the girl with them, and I’ve just been told I can’t see any part of her file.”

“Okay, so how’s that a problem?” Asked Rick, leaning back in his chair.

“I need to know how she ended up in social care in the first place.” Explained Michonne, “I can’t request a restraining order without a good, solid reason.”

Rick frowned, “Have you contacted the parents?”

“That’s my other problem,” Confessed Michonne, “I’ve got the other side trying to get my help.”

Rick let out a whistle.

F

Clementine gnawed her bottom lip, glancing around the garden.

“Why’d your parents suggest this again?” Asked Becca, dropping down next to Clementine.

“Something to do with making friends, I think.” Muttered Clementine, as AJ ran around with some of his classmates.

“For AJ or for you?”

“I dunno.”

“This looks like fun.” Drawled Gabe, joining the two girls, “where’re the others?”

“Sarita’s at the hospital, something about baby trouble. Carlos is conducting surgery, and Sarah’s watching him, and Gill’s on a date with some guy he met at his dad’s store, but they’ll all be making an appearance later. Hopefully.” Said Clementine, as Jamie, Luke’s daughter, tripped over a root and landed hard on her face.

Clementine flinched, “Ooh.” She glanced towards Jane, she hadn’t been happy when she found out she was Luke’s girlfriend. Luke had assumed that Clementine had a crush on him, until Jane told him about her past with Clementine.

Jane started making her way over to Jamie, only for the little girl to jump to her feet and continue running after AJ.

“I still don’t get why Mr Saul and his wife are here.” Said Becca, making Clementine and Gabe look over at the couple.

“Kenlee’s friends with AJ.” Shrugged Clementine.

Becca looked around the garden, “I thought you said Chuck was gonna be here.”

“Yeah, AJ specifically asked for him to be invited.” Confirmed Clementine, as the doorbell rang. They heard Rebecca hurry to the front door.

“Five bucks it’s Sarah with a gruesome story about her dad’s work.” Said Becca, getting a frown from Gabe.

“Ten if it’s Gill saying his date went bad.”

“It’s Duck.” Stated Clementine, “Because you’ll hear a thud in three…two…”

There was a thud, before Duck stumbled through the back door, with a black Labrador in his arms.

“Oh, fuck, no.” Hissed Clementine, pulling her feet onto the bench, trying to put as much distance between her and the dog.

The dog, Whistle, looked his eyes on Clementine, before bounding over to her.

“Oh oho, nope.” Cursed Clementine, “Nope. Fuck this. I’ll see you guys later.”

Clementine made a dash to the fence, before hopping over it.

“Sorry.” Said Duck, nervously rubbing the back of his head, “I wanted to come over, but I couldn’t leave him alone with Butch.”

“Oh, fuck this!”

Everyone looked over, as Clementine hopped back over the fence.

“Why the hell do you have so many dogs?!”

“Swear.” Said AJ, getting a disbelieving look from Clementine.

F

“How come people still feel their limbs after they’ve been cut off?” Asked Sarah, getting a sigh from Carlos.

“It’s called phantom limb syndrome,” He explained, “the brain is responding to the last signal the limb sent, for example, a hand would curl into a fist or a foot would tense up, the brain continues to send signals either continue clenching or to release.”

“So, why doesn’t it just stop sending signals?” Asked Sarah, frowning.

“Because it’s happening on a subconscious level,” Answered Carlos, “you can acknowledge that somethings missing, but there’ll be a small corner of your mind where you’ll keep acknowledging it’s presence.”

“So, why doesn’t it go away when someone thinks of uncurling their hand?”

“Because you can’t see it.” Responded Carlos, as they pulled up in front of the Brooke home, “The subconscious part of your brain needs to see the hand let go, which is where mirror therapy comes in.”

“What’s that?” Questioned Sarah, tilting her head slightly.

“It’s a form of therapy that, basically, tricks the brain into thinking the missing limb lets go by having the reflection of the other, remaining limb tense up and letting go.” Said Carlos, as they got out of the car, “it’s surprisingly effective.”

“Cool.” Said Sarah, as they reached the door.

“DUCK GET YOUR ANIMAL AWAY FROM ME!” Screamed Clementine, making Sarah giggle.

Carlos frowned, as he and Sarah walked through the Brooke home. Entering the garden, they found a black labrador standing at the base of a tree, their tail going a mile a minute, with Clementine clambering around the branches.

“Clem, he’s harmless!” Called Duck, the labrador barking and jumping.

“What’d we miss?” Asked Sarah, drawing level with Becca and Gabe.

“Clem’s convinced Duck’s dog is going to bite her, going on her last couple of experiences with dog sized animals, AJ and the other kids are playing with the dog, Duck’s trying to get her out of the tree and the dog wants to play with her.” Said Becca, as Clementine’s foot slipped off the branch and fell out of the tree, her hat coming off in the process.

In the blink of an eye, the labrador was on top of Clementine, licking away at her face. Grabbing the dog’s shoulders, Clementine pushed the dog until it was at arm’s length and glared at Duck, “My mouth was open!”

“But, he’s not trying to eat you!” Grinned Duck, as the dog dropped down and rested it’s head on Clementine’s legs.

Glancing down, Clementine hesitantly moved one of her hands to the dog’s heat and started patting it. AJ wandered up to Clementine and the dog and buried his face in the dogs fur.

“Okay,” Clementine stiffly looked at Duck, “This one is fine, the rest are bad.”

Duck froze, before shrugging, “Eh, baby steps.”

Clementine rolled her eyes, and reached to adjust her hat, only to find it missing. Twisting around, Clementine found her hat a couple of feet away, quickly grabbing it and pulling it on her head.

“You okay, Clem?” Asked Rebecca, getting nod from Clementine, “Because that fall was about seven or eight feet.”

“I’ve survived worse.” Dismissed Clementine, getting a grin from AJ.

“Yeah, she fell off a roof.” Said the child, making Clementine freeze.

“I’m sorry, what?!”

“It wasn’t that high.”

“How high was it?”

“…ten feet?”

“When did that happen?” Asked Rebecca, as Becca froze.

“Is Clem talking about the cabin incident?” Asked Sarah, getting Rebecca’s attention.

“When was it?”

“A couple of months ago….” Clementine winced, “…I think?”

Rebecca breathed in deeply through her nose and spun in her heel, “I’m going to get Carlos.”

“But I didn’t break anything this time!” Protested Clementine.

“THIS TIME?!”

F

“Well,” Carlos frowned, looking at Clementine, “you didn’t break anything.”

“See.” Clementine gave Rebecca a pointed look.

“But, your ankle is dislocated.” Finished Carlos, “Now, I should tell you to go to a hospital, but-”

Carlos abruptly relocated the joint.

“Fff-” Clementine sucked air through her teeth.

“There, I just saved you about sixty-thousand dollars.”  Said Carlos, as Duck helped Clementine to her feet.

“It still hurts.” Grumbled Clementine, limping as she hobbled away.

“She only found it painful because she’s never damaged that ankle before.” Said Carlos, frowning as the friend group talked amongst themselves, “I’ll speak to Vernon, see about getting her an x-ray or something.”

Rebecca hummed, as AJ ran up to her, holding a tooth, “Mommy! Look!”

“Oh.” Rebecca stared at the tooth, “Wonderful.”

F

A week later, Clementine and Gabe were quietly walking through a park together. Clementine laughed at something Gabe said.

“You know, they’re gonna find us.” Said Duck, as Becca shushed him.

“No, they’re not.” Becca looked back at Clem and Gabe, only to find they’d vanished, “Shit, where’ve they gone?”

Clementine and Gabe stopped running, with Clementine letting a laugh out.

“I think we’ve lost them.” Said Gabe, as Clementine laughed.

“Yeah.” Clementine let out a few more huffs of laughter, before leaning against Gabe.

“We need to do that more.” Said Gabe, as he and Clementine dropped onto a bench.

“Hmm.” Hummed Clementine, as Gabe looked down at her.

The two stared into each other’s eyes and, the next either of them knew it, they shared a kiss. They pulled part, before leaning into each other again and sharing a longer kiss.

Meanwhile, from another bush, Sarah snapped a picture of the pair.

F

“Is it me, or has Clementine become…affectionate?” Asked Michelle, looking at Ida.

“I think everyone’s noticed it.” Answered Ida, as Greg shifted across from them.

“Tell that to my nose.” Huffed Greg, getting an eyeroll from Michelle.

“Have you heard?” Interrupted Danielle, dropping onto a seat.

“Heard what?” Asked Ida, frowning.

“We’re going to be merging with another school.”

[woman-of-balnain]

Undone in Sorrow Part 3/10 (Alpha Rick x Omega Reader)

Previous Part | Collection Masterlist | AO3 Ver. | Next Part

Pairing: Rick Grimes/Fem!Reader

Summary: After everything you’ve just been through, Rick puts distance between the two of you.

A/N: Okay, I’d like to ask for some feedback regarding the future part of this story. I won’t lie, I had a bit of a panic after posting the 2nd part, where I got worried that there is too much angst and that it will make the story boring or too depressing without enough good moments for anyone reading.

So, I ended up deciding to do the ‘then’/‘now’ thing again here, but with the scenes of the past focusing on the early period between s3 and s4 in the prison. Just showing happier times for the Reader as well as for Rick and Reader’s relationship.

So, I can either continue to do this in the next couple of chapters where things are more angsty, or I can cut the angst down, but that will also mean cutting the story down by one part (making it 7 parts in total rather than 8). Let me know what you’d prefer. Otherwise I’ll just make a decision myself I guess.


These flashbacks involve a more heavily pregnant reader (but as mentioned in part 1, this pregnancy resulted in a miscarriage and stillbirth).


Lastly, the events of the show will be a little more spread out. I’m playing with the timeline a bit to suit my ideas for the story. Not necessarily changing things, but just having them happen less quickly in succession of one another.

Warnings: Rick is kind of a jerk in this chapter, angst, pregnancy, you and Rick are true mates but that is extremely rare and considered a myth, there are consequences to Rick’s behavior that are linked to the true mate bond.

Word Count: 4,061

Dividers by: @cafekitsune​ + @newlips​

In a life built out of only goodbyes

Is there even room for you to try?

While you were waiting for me not to call

I sent my love... I sent my love

Then

 “Dad?” You asked Hershel one day as you helped him in the prison infirmary.

 You usually assisted your father with the minor things, wanting to keep yourself busy and contribute in some way.

 “Yes, honey?”

 “Do… do you think we’ll really be okay here? In the long run?”

 Hershel paused, leaving what he’d been doing to properly address you.

 “Why are you asking? Is something wrong?”

 “No, it’s just… after the Governor… he’s still out there somewhere and I… I really want this place to work out. We have all these new people, and it feels like this can really be our home, but I just can’t relax knowing he’s out there.”

 “Are you worried because of the baby?”

 Your hands seemed to automatically fall to your stomach, touching the small bump there.

 “Yes and no,” you replied honestly. “It’s more that I don’t know what to think about the world… about people anymore. There’s always been bad people but… what if that’s the only way to survive the world now?”

 “What do you mean?” Hershel looked at you with concern.

 “What if you have to either become someone like the Governor or you won’t make it because of people like him?”

 “Y/N, wherever he’s gone, he’s left us alone all this time. And Rick will keep us safe, keep you and the baby safe. You know that.”

 “But he’s stopped fighting and he’s not leading us anymore, dad! What if that makes us become weak? Whether it’s the governor or someone else, we’ll run into trouble eventually. It’s just how things are now. What if the only way to survive is to become someone else… someone unrecognizable?”

 “Honey,” your father rested his hands on your shoulders, watching you with a calm, but stern look. “Calm down. You’re thinking of the worst-case scenario. Maybe things will get worse before they get better, but we’ll deal with it then. Worrying about it now won’t help anyone, least of all you.”

 “I just don’t want to see the way the world is now, and everything that’s come with it make us lose who we are,” you admitted softly. “I don’t want it to break us, and I’m scared of a day when we can’t be the good guys anymore. With how cold the Governor was, how Carl shot that person from Woodbury without hesitating, how angry and ruthless Rick gets sometimes… it’s disturbing, but maybe it’s the only way to survive.”

 “Don’t talk like that,” Hershel gently admonished you. “If it upsets you so much, talk to Rick about it. He loves you, so he’ll listen. It’s only natural to doubt, especially in these times, but if things do get worse, he’s going to need you. He will need you to keep him on the right path and to support him through the tough decisions. And you can do that, Y/N, just so long as you don’t forget the difference between what’s right and wrong – no matter how hard it might get to distinguish between the two.”

 Now

 Rick was quiet as you both exited Carson’s trailer. He seemed deep in thought, and you tried not to read into it too much, but he also seemed withdrawn, which made you worry.

 “Rick, can we talk for a second?” You asked hesitantly. “About… about the baby?”

 He gave you a brief look before turning his attention over to Sasha, who was trying to pick up one of the now covered up bodies you’d brought with you. The remains of Abraham and Glenn.

 “Not now,” he replied with a sigh. “We should…”

 He trailed off but you understood and gave him a nod before you both headed over to Sasha. You wanted to explain that you hadn’t been trying to keep anything from him about your pregnancy, but he was right. There were more important things to worry about in that moment.

 “Here, let me,” Rick said gently as you reached Sasha.

 Her bottom lip quivered as she tried to hold back her tears, but she nodded and let Rick lift up the body of Abraham.

 “You have a spot picked out?” He asked, referring to where the bodies would be buried.

 “Yeah,” she replied, walking over to a secluded spot near the main house. “Jesus talked Gregory into it, and we decided here would be… would be nice.”

 “Okay,” Rick nodded before carefully setting Abraham’s body down. “I’ll, uh… I’ll go and get Glenn…”

 He walked off and silence fell over you and Sasha. There were some shovels, so you went to pick one up, but she stopped you, reaching out to gently take hold of your wrist.

 “Maggie… is she…?”

 “She’ll be okay,” you assured her. “She hasn’t woken up yet, but Dr. Carson said she’s fine and that she should wake up soon.”

 Sasha nodded, looking away from you again as her eyes focused back on the body of Abraham.

 “Are you okay?” You asked, watching her with concern.

 It was a stupid question, yet you couldn’t help but ask. It just came out automatically.

 “No,” she answered honestly. “And I don’t – I don’t know if I ever will be.”

 “Yeah,” you replied softly, looking away. “I… I understand.”

 If she had a response, you never found out, because then Rick was back and placing Glenn’s body down beside Abraham’s. Neither of you needed to say anything more though, because the shared experience you’d all been through made it clear that not a single one of you was okay.

 You worked in silence, picking up the shovels and slowly digging into the earth. Digging graves for the people you loved, but were now gone. It wasn’t the first time and it likely wouldn’t be the last.

 Then

 “God,” Maggie grinned. “I never thought I’d be so happy to taste a tomato.”

 “Hey!” You chided playfully, slapping her hand away from the pile beside you. “They’re for dinner. Get your sticky fingers away!”

 You had been getting through the small pile of tomatoes beside you, chopping them up for a pasta dish you’d planned to make. The crops Rick and Carl had been working on had finally grown to the point where you could put them to use. It had made all of you happy at the prospect of real, fresh food again. So much so, that Maggie apparently couldn’t resist stealing one of the tomatoes and biting into it raw.

 “Want some help?” Beth interrupted, coming up on your other side.

 “Sure,” you nodded. “You can cut the carrots if you want.”

 “What about me?” Maggie asked.

 “As long as you actually cook before eating all the ingredients.”

 “It was one bite, Y/N.”

 “Whatever,” you huffed with a smile. “You can check if Daryl’s finished skinning the deer, I guess.”

 “Sure,” Maggie laughed, heading out to do as you asked. “I know when I’m not wanted.”

 “Judith’s sleeping?” You asked Beth, turning your head slightly to look at her.

 “Yep, out like a light.”

 “Thanks, Bethy,” you told her sincerely. “For always helping out with her.”

 “Of course,” Beth smiled sweetly. “She’s family. And it helps that she’s adorable.”

 You let out a light laugh, agreeing with your youngest sister before you both gave your full attention to prepping dinner again. Carol was undoubtedly the best cook in the group, but you’d wanted to give her a break and offered to take over that day.

 As you chopped away at the vegetables in front of you, your mind started to wander. You almost missed the hand that snuck out from behind you, reaching for the tomato your sister had left behind. The one with a chunk already bitten out of it.

 “You’re just as bad as Maggie!” You quipped, lightly tapping Glenn’s fingers away.

 “Come on, Y/N, I’m starving!” Glenn replied.

 “Fine,” you gave in. “You can have a little bit.”

 You passed him a carrot and Maggie’s tomato. Glenn moved to lean against the counter on your other side before taking his own bite of the red fruit.

 “How long ‘til it’s ready?” He asked.

 “A while,” you answered.

 “Oh, I see how it is,” Maggie said as she came back into the room, noticing her husband eating the food she had just been denied. “You’re lucky she has a soft spot for you, Glenn. I almost got my hand cut off.”

 “How’s Daryl getting on?” You asked her, ignoring her playful complaints.

 “Nearly done,” she replied, leaning in to give Glenn a quick kiss. “But Rick was asking for you. Beth and I will take over here for a bit.”

 You gave her a look, the smile on your lips barely contained as you silently asked if she would actually help and not just help herself to the fresh vegetables that had become a luxury in recent times.

 “Just go,” Maggie laughed softly. “He’s waitin’ outside.”

 You did as she said, exchanging a knowing smile with Glenn regarding Maggie’s bossiness before leaving the room and heading to the outside of the prison. You found Rick near one of the buckets you all kept outside to collect rainwater. He had dipped his hands into it before splashing some of the cool liquid over his face and hair.

 He spent most of his days out in the hot Georgian sun, working the fields, so it was only natural that he wanted to cool off at the end of the day. When he saw you approaching, his lips curled up into an affectionate smile before he shook his head a little, getting rid of the excess water from his hair.

 “Hey, sweetheart,” he greeted you.

 “Hey, Maggie said you were looking for me,” you told him, closing the distance between the two of you. “What’s going on?”

 “Nothing,” he replied, reaching out to pull you against him. “Just wanted to see you, is all.”

 The smile never left his lips, or his eyes and your heart fluttered at the sweetness of it all. His hands settled on your hips and if it weren’t for the slight swell of your stomach, you would have been flush against his chest.

 “You’re all sweaty,” you complained lightheartedly, but made no move to step away.

 Rick’s smile just widened as he looked down at you, like he barely even registered your words. His head dipped slightly, so that his forehead rested against your own and the wet tendrils of his hair pressed against your skin.

 “Rick!” You let out a soft laugh, starting to pull your head back.

 He just kept holding you close and his head moved forward until his lips brushed against your own.

 “Come here,” he murmured, pulling you tighter against him.

 And then he was kissing you, slow and languid as his tongue and lips moved against yours. Melting into him, your arms wrapped around his neck, and you let out a small, quiet moan. His scent enveloped you comfortingly and your body arched into him when his fingers brushed against the side of your stomach.

 His lips teased your own, moving expertly while his tongue elicited memories of its movements on other parts of your body. He left you breathless and aching for more, his hands beginning to explore more of your body, as though you hadn’t seen each other for days. Eventually, you pulled back just slightly, catching your breath.

 “I missed you,” were the words that came softly from your lips as his fingers moved up to stroke your cheek.

 Rick huffed out a light laugh since you’d only just seen each other that morning. But he didn’t say anything because you always felt each other’s absence when you were apart. From what you both understood, it was different and more intense than what other mated alphas and omegas experienced.

 The rare and unique bond you shared meant that you were two halves that had come together to create something whole. Your minds and your bodies (and even sometimes your emotions) were attuned to one another.

 “I missed you too, baby,” he murmured affectionately, pressing another light kiss to your lips.

 Now

 It felt wrong, somehow, to bury Glenn without Maggie there. Your heart ached, recalling the memories you shared with him. The times he would subtly hand you your favorite candy bar or some other snack if he found any on a run, making you swear yourself to secrecy so the others wouldn’t find out and hassle him to do the same for them.

 Or the way he’d had happy tears in his eyes when he and Maggie told you of her pregnancy. That sense of bewilderment, but also pride that lingered in his gaze over the news. If this was how you were feeling, how devastated and heartbroken you were over his death, then how was Maggie feeling?

 You had a good idea, obviously, but you couldn’t even begin to really imagine how hard it had been for her to see him die like that. So brutally and being mocked in the process. The only thing you could compare it to, in terms where you could comprehend the depths of her pain, was to think of what it would have been like for you if it had been Rick instead.

 That particular thought was unbearable, and you decided not to linger on it any longer. Because he wasn’t gone, he was right there beside you, as you dug the two graves. Even if he had put up his walls and closed himself off. He was still there. Alive, even after you’d briefly and painfully thought that he might have been Negan’s next target after Glenn.

 If it wasn’t for your shared bond, you likely wouldn’t have picked up on Rick’s inner turmoil. His scent betrayed it to you though, becoming almost unpleasant in its signs of distress and guilt. It was unpleasant because every fiber of your being was telling you to go and comfort him, when you knew that it wasn’t the right time.

 And then his scent shifted slightly, turning to anger. That was natural, you thought, but it set you even more on edge.

 But when your work was done and the three of you took a moment to reflect over the graves that had been covered up again, Rick turned and walked away without a word. You exchanged a look with Sasha, silently asking if she would be fine for now.

 “It’s okay,” she assured you, knowing that you wanted to go after him. “I… I need a minute anyway.”

 You nodded, understanding that she was grieving too. So, you left her there to give her some privacy and went after your alpha.

 “Rick…” you called after him and he stopped.

 “Y/N, just…” he sighed, his scent becoming worse, showing a rising sense of frustration within him. “Just give me some space.”

 “I will, but… we need to talk. Please.”

 “What is there to talk about?” He rounded on you, his anger swelling and you realized it was you he was angry at. “How you’re pregnant and didn’t tell me? How for whatever reason he found out before I did? Or the fact that you knew and still came out with us, putting you and our child at risk?”

 “Rick, I didn’t –”

 “You didn’t think, Y/N. You didn’t listen. I told you to stay in Alexandria.”

 “I didn’t know!” You yelled, trying to force Rick to listen. “I didn’t know what would happen. None of us did.”

 “You knew when you decided to go with Eugene instead of coming with me like I asked you to.”

 “How would that have made a difference at that point, Rick?”

 “I thought you were dead!” He shouted, but his voice cracked, showing the raw agony behind his words. “I – I saw Eugene, but you weren’t there! And then you were, and he… he touched you, he hit you, he put his fucking hands and his scent on you Y/N, and I couldn’t stop it!”

 You stayed silent. The revelations that his words brought came with pain as you realized how it must have all looked from his perspective. His nose twitched, in that way that always hinted at his annoyance over something, but this time it conveyed a lot more than just that.

 “And you told him, Y/N,” Rick continued, lowering his voice a little but still seething. “You told him about… about our baby, before you told me.”

 “I didn’t know,” you argued, trying to explain your side of things. “I wasn’t sure yet, but I thought I might be. I just told him… I told him that to stop him.”

 Rick paused, his expression softening just slightly at your words.

 “Stop him from doing what?”

 “From… he was going to kick me,” you admitted. “He was aiming for my stomach… and after everything with Maggie, I just… I just panicked and blurted it out. And it worked, it stopped him. And I’m glad it did, I’m glad I said it, because now I know that I am pregnant and what he’s done is already bad enough. I couldn’t live with that too. Not again.”

 He nodded, looking away from you and calming down slightly as he knew what you were referring to. But he was still distant, still closed off.

 “Y/N…” Rick said, but he wouldn’t look at you. “I can’t stay here. I have to go back to Alexandria. Back to the others.”

 “Okay,” you replied softly, aware of the fact that he was still on edge. “I’m ready to leave when you are.”

 “No,” he met your gaze again, his expression cold and distant. “You’re staying here.”

 “Rick –”

 “No, Y/N,” he cut you off. “You’re staying here where you’re safe. Just… just for now.”

 You closed the distance between the two of you, reaching out to take hold of his hands, but he pulled away abruptly and that made you freeze. He was looking away again, refusing to meet your gaze and it hurt you deeply.

 “Don’t,” he told you firmly. “Just… don’t.”

 His words and his actions made your body feel like it had been turned to ice. It was a clear rejection from him; because no matter how much you had angered or frustrated him in the past, he had never once pulled away from you like that. Not just with his body, but with his words.

 “Rick…” you tried again, hoping that he would snap out of it.

 “Stay here,” he commanded.

 Your heart sank as he spoke the words in the tone you couldn’t disobey. You realized he was determined to leave you there and with no reassurance that things were okay between the two of you.

 “I’ll come back soon,” was all he said instead, before he walked away and left you there alone.

It wasn’t long after he left that you realized your scent was still mingled with Negan’s. It hadn’t faded because Rick had been too distant in his grief, still reeling from the trauma of everything to replace it with his own. You tried to tell yourself that another alpha’s scent on you – especially that alpha’s – was probably the reason he had acted so closed off and distant towards you before he left.

 But deep down, you knew that it might have played a part, but it wasn’t the only factor. If Rick was his usual self, he wouldn’t have hesitated to scent you again and get rid of any other man’s scent on you.

 It was more than just that. It was the fact that Negan had pushed him as far as he had to until Rick was left broken and defeated. And it was because Rick felt betrayed by your actions. You could understand, but it didn’t change how rejected you felt by him. And it didn’t change the disgust and shame you felt at having any part of that other man still clinging to you.

 So, you had tried desperately to wash it away, scrubbing at your skin until it was red and irritated. And it was useless, because a faint trace of him remained and you felt a pit in the bottom of your stomach as you wondered why. If you and Rick were True Mates, like you’d both always thought, why wasn’t your body rejecting the scent of another alpha? Why was it still clinging to you?

 Not only that, but the process just left you feeling even colder than before, when Rick left and rejected your touch. Your skin felt icy, and you couldn’t stop shivering, not even after your body was completely dry, and not even after you bundled up as much as you could.

 It all left you feeling uneasy, even despite everything else going on.

That cold and icy feeling didn’t leave. Instead, it seemed to get worse. But it was always tolerable for the most part, not really getting in the way of anything you tried to do. Mostly, it was just uncomfortable.

 When Maggie woke up, it gave you some relief in the days following that first encounter with Negan. She still wasn’t herself, but she was alive and both her and her baby were fine. Maybe that was all you could have asked for.

 You gave her space for the most part, but one night you found yourself sitting by her side in silence, late into the evening after just about everyone else had gone to bed. She seemed lost in her thoughts. Maybe it was just memories of the past or hopes for the future. You didn’t know, but just having her there, physically by your side was enough. Currently, it felt like she was the only family you had left.

 “You remember the day we got Nelly?” Maggie asked suddenly, her voice soft and quiet.

 “Yeah,” you replied, a hollow laugh escaping your lips at the memory. “N–nervous and flighty from day one.”

 “I remember you trying to ride her,” Maggie smiled just slightly, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “Thinkin’ you could settle her just with sheer determination.”

 “Sh–she bucked me right off,” you recalled, your teeth chattering slightly from the cold feeling running through your veins.

 “You were covered in dirt,” your sister gave a light chuckle. “But you were still laughin’ and convinced that she’d come around.”

 “She d–did… in the end,” you reminded her, wrapping your arms a little more tightly around yourself. “But… what made you think of that?”

 “Just thinking,” Maggie replied, becoming serious again. “About those days. On the farm.”

 “It’ll get better again,” you tried to reassure her, reaching out to touch her hand with yours.

 Suddenly, Maggie’s head turned to look at you with concern.

 “Y/N, you’re freezing,” she observed worriedly.

 Maggie moved to place the back of her hand against your forehead, only to quickly snap her hand back after she made contact with your skin.

 “You feel like ice!” She continued. “And you’re shaking like a leaf!”

 “I–I’m fine,” you gave her a smile. “’s just cold tonight.”

 “No,” she frowned. “It’s really not. Not that cold.”

 She started rubbing her hands up and down your arms, trying to bring some warmth to you, but it made no difference.

 “Come on,” she stood up and moved to help you stand as well. “We should get you to bed. Get you warmed up.”

 “It’s okay,” you tried to calm her. “Th–that doesn’t really help.”

 She shot you a look, “how long has this been going on?”

You just shrugged, the icy feeling in your body getting worse, like it was seeping into your bones. As she tried to lead you to bed, you became a little dizzy and swayed on the spot.

 “Y/N,” she was panicking now.

 “I…” you stopped, waiting for your light-headedness to fade like it usually did. “I’m… f–fine…”

 But you weren’t. And instead of the dizziness going away, it just got worse until your eyes rolled into the back of your head and you slumped in Maggie’s arms.

 “Y/N?” She tried to shake you awake but it didn’t work. “Y/N!”

--

A/N: Just note that the whole thing with Negan’s scent is not an indication that Reader’s body is accepting him or anything. Rick is still her true mate, despite her doubts here. It’ll be explained later (most likely in the next chapter).

--

Next Part

[brainddeadd]

BRAINDEAD REVIEWS

THE WALKING DEAD: Season 5

Overall thoughts

They’ve been on the run and fighting for their lives for so long, they’ve forgotten how to exist peacefully and without fear - without the suspicion and without feeling like everyone and everything is out to get them 

S5, ep 1

‘Then’ THEN WHAT 

BEFORE THE WORLD WENT TO SHIT ???

WHOS SCREAMING 

Were they forced into being pieces of shit at Terminus ????

‘Now’ ok 

They gassed them ?!?!?!?!

THEY GOT THE KID FROM THE HOUSE IN SEASON 4 

They gonna chop them in half or something ?????

THEY SLIT THE KIDS THROAT

IMAGINE SURVIVING A FUCKING ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE JUST TO HAVE SOME DICK SLIT YOUR THROAT 

And now the place is being blown up

Jesus christ 

CAROL NO

TURN AROUND 

“Bitch looked like a weapon with a weapon.” You’re correct but don’t you dare call her a bitch 

Carol not believing a word that dick says - queen shit 

“Horrible shit just stacks up..” You are the horrible shit man 

ITS CAROL BLOWING THE PLACE UP 

HELL YEAH 

Carol I love you 

On fire zombies.. well shit 

Rick what a man 

WHAT 

THE 

FUCK

ARE 

THESE 

PEOPLE 

DOING 

JESUS 

CHRIST 

The shit from all the people they’ve killed - the teddies from children 

LEAVE THE BABY OUT OF IT FUCKER 

Eugene is full of shit 

100% full of shit 

CAROL AND DARYL HUG 

YES

REUNITED AT LAST 

HIS CRYING AND PUTTING HIS FACE ON HER SHOULDER 

OJSDNFJDENFKDS

WNDFJKDN

DCJNWRIJVNAEUIVRSKVWAPIREJNDV

REUNITED

YES

That’s quite a group they’ve got 

Who the fuck took over terminus tho???

“You’re either the butcher or the cattle.” Yeah but y’all chose the wrong cattle this time 

S5, ep 2

“Will you have us?” Dude you’re her family 

Daryl just.. being there for Carol, knowing what she needs, accepting that she doesn’t wanna talk about it 

WHAT WAS THAT

WHO WAS THAT 

“We surrender.” He’s so funny man 🤣🤣🤣

Not Daryl being confused that the Pastor is puking after seeing them kill walkers like pookie not everyone is like you 

Gabriel - I don’t trust him

The loyalty to Rick is amazing 

Gabriel is too scared to not be hiding something 

Bob, this is the world now. It’s not gonna get better. Eugene is full of shit. 

DROPPING THE WATER AS HE’S ASKING IF SHE WANTS HIM TO CARRY ONE OF HERS 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 HER LIL “hmm no” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 that was 100% a blooper they left in 

“It was a stack of boxes.. and a mop.. and I tripped.” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

‘YOU’LL BURN FOR THIS’ well fuck 

Where is Bob going 

Tara thank you for telling Maggie the truth 

Oh damn Rick ok slay 

THE CAR THAT TOOK BETH 

Who the fuck

What the fuck

Its the Terminus fucks 

EATING PEOPLE 

PARDON

OH MY GOD

THEYVE TAKEN HIS LEG

OH MY GOD

“If it makes you feel any better, you taste much better than we thought you would.” HOW IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MAKE HIM FEEL BETTER 

S5, ep 3

I’m still reeling from the fact that they’re cannibals 

“You join us or feed us.” That’s not much of a choice buddy 

Gareth wanting Carol - gonna have to go through Daryl and me first buddy boy 

Bob losing his shit laughing because they’ve just eaten him when he’s been bitten - karma 

There’s the ‘A’ again - what the fuck does that mean 

I get Abraham wanting to leave but come on man, Eugenes full of shit 

Gareth is a fucker 

HE SHOT OFF HIS FINGER HELL YEAH 

They got what they deserve 

MAGGIE AND GLENN LEAVING NO

DARYL

Where’s Carol?

Who ?????

S5, ep 4

Beth ?!?!? 

In a hospital ?!?!?!

Police ?!?!?!?

“So you owe us.” FUCK NO

WHAT 

THE 

ACTUAL 

FUCK

THE BODY DOWN THE ELEVATOR SHAFT 

Ok yeah I kinda skipped the rest cause I don’t really like Beth - but ik wack shit happens to her 

S5, ep 5

Eugene is so full of shit holy fuck 

Who the fuck is beating the shit out of someone ???? Pls don’t let it be Rick 

ABRAHAM - flashback ??? Yep 

“Really need some ass first.” Why would you.. don’t.. no yuck.. ugh men 

FUCK EUGENE 

He put crushed glass in fuel line 

Oh god what was the fire truck keeping locked away 

Yo what the fuck is going on in Abrahams past 

He is Insane 

“I’m not a scientist!” THE FUCK YOU MEAN BOY

OH 

I 

FUCKEN 

KNEW 

IT

EUGENES A PIECE OF SHIT 

Fuck Eugene 

S5, ep 6

They really want Beth back 

A woman’s and children’s shelter that Carol went to 

Daryl stopping her from killing the walkers of people she probably knew - doing it for her and burning them 

Whos following my people around 

“Looks like a dog sat in paint and wiped its ass all over the place.” 🤣🤣🤣

I love the way Daryl says ‘stop’ when someone’s (Carol’s) saying funny shit and he doesn’t wanna laugh 

“You don’t know me.” “Yep. You keep telling yourself that.”

Is that the dude from the hospital?? The one that tried to help Beth escape ??

Daryl taking a child abuse survivor book, I love him 

THE VAN

ON THE BRIDGE 

SHIT 

“It’s like you were a kid. Now you’re a man.” 

“We ain’t ashes.”

“I already helped you once. It ain’t happening again.” Damn ok 

THEY JUST RAN OVER CAROL 

SO NOW THEY’VE GOT BETH AND CAROL 

OH THEYRE FUCKED 

S5, ep 7

I still don’t trust the pastor man 

Maggie pulling a gun on Abraham when he threatens Rosita slayyyy

Fuck Eugene 

Fuck the guys in the hospital - those cops are shit 

The walkers on the ground that’s a lot in the burnt area 

Don’t hurt Daryl fuck 

Handful of Dixon ass - mood 

DON’T TRY AND FEED DARYL TO A WALKER BITCH 

USING A WALKERS HEAD AS A WEAPON KFNJRNFOO YUCK 

What is the pastor man doing??

Beth being sneaky is not what I thought I’d ever see 

Fucken pastor man 

Why the fuck would you trust the cop you just kidnapped ?!?!? Are you stooopidddddd

S5, ep 8

RICK HITTING HIM WITH A CAR 

I mean.. at least he didn’t let the walkers get him

Maggie and Glenn are back finally

Go get Beth

Beth killing that dickhead cop

Don’t fucken ask for the kid - let him go 

Daryl and Rick squaring up for Noah 

BETH STABBED THE COP

BETH GOT SHOT IN THE HEAD BY THE COP

DARYL KILLING THE COP - shit he’s pissed 

DARYL CRYING

Daryl carrying Beth out and Maggie falling to her knees 

Holy shit 

That.. fuck ok

S5, ep 9

Noah’s family 

Finding his mother like that 

OH MY GOD 

TYRESE 

NO 

GETTING BIT BY NOAHS SIBLING 

Why is Tyrese SEEING DEAD PEOPLE 

Cutting off his arm like that 

Holy shit 

Who the fuck decapitated those walkers???

NO TYRESE NO

S5, ep 10

Daryl don’t eat the worm

Please don’t eat the worm

Oh for fucks sake

He ate the worm 

Y’all can’t die like this cmon 

How they keeping the baby alive ?!?!?

Carol telling Daryl to feel it and then kissing his forehead in what is probably one of the only moments of kindness and gentleness he’s ever experienced is WAY too much for me to handle 

THE WOMAN TIED UP IN THE BOOT OF THE CAR AND LEFT TO DIE 

The feral dogs - good lord what are they going to do 

SASHA KILLED THE DOGS 

THEY EAT THE DOGS 

I GET IT BUT HOLY EW 

Daryl putting the cigarette out on his skin fuck

CRYING NO 

The water being left for them - who the fuck ??

GLENNS SMILE AT THE RAIN !!!!!!!!!!

Carl covering the baby with his hat so she doesn’t get too wet 

STORM 

Bby Carl sleeping finally 

“We tell ourselves that we are the walking dead.” “We ain’t them.”

OH THATS A LOT OF WALKERS 

He cleaned the music box for Maggie 🥹🥹🥹

HOLY FUCK 

THAT WAS A BIG ASS STORM 

Aaron ??

How does he know Rick ?!?!?!

S5, ep 11

Daryl going absolutely insane when Aaron is brought in 

“Audition for membership” the fuck 

AYO RICK 

“Long enough to see that despite a lack of food and water, you never turned on each other.” They’re family dude 

“You can trust me.” They’re running a bit low on trust at the moment buddy 

Driving through the walkers like that is wild 

Why so freaked out over a flare gun ???

Alexandria 

Eric 

S5, ep 12

“We brought dinner.” 🤣🤣🤣 

Don’t mind them, they haven’t been house trained yet 

Deanna and Reg 

The beard really makes Rick look feral 

“I’ve killed people.” Yeah how many now?? 

“Sounds like I’d wanna be part of your family.” me too lady, me too 

“I want you to help us survive.”

THATS SO MANY GUNS

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Carol struggling 

OK WHYD HE SHAVE IT OFF COMPLETELY 

Jessie - Ron & Sam

“I won’t bite.” He might 

“The boy and the baby, they deserve a roof.” Pookie 

GUTTING THE ANIMAL ON RICK’S FRONT PORCH IS FERAL OF YOU DARYL DIXON 

Them thinking that being neighbours is too much distance - staying in one house together 

I love everyones collective shock at Rick’s shaved face 

“And I’m just trying to figure Mr Dixon out, but I will.” I wouldn’t count on it hunny 

Daryl please for the love of God, have a shower 

Rick’s panic - bless him - “I was in the middle of losing my mind.” 

Mikey and Enid 

Oh poor sweet baby Carl - bless you child 

“I didn’t just lose her. I killed her.” Jesus 

They’ve been on the run and fighting for their lives for so long, they’ve forgotten how to exist peacefully and without fear - without the suspicion and without feeling like everyone and everything is out to get them 

“They’re weak. And I don’t want us to get weak too.” I genuinely don’t think that’s possible Carl 

CAROL 

“DEN MOTHER” 

“NICE ENOUGH TO PROTECT ME”

WOMAN 

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

DARYL’S FACE WHEN SHE COMES OUT IN THOSE CLOTHES - MAN LITERALLY FROZE 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

THAT WAS A LAUGH  

“Have you taken a shower yet?” “Mm-hmm.” When? The 80s???

“Im gonna hose you down in your sleep.” Please do. I think he has to smell like a bio-hazard by now. 

“You look ridiculous.” How kind of you Dixon 

Enid sneaking out ok 

Aiden and Nicholas 

CARL DON’T FOLLOW HER 

Who took the gun Rick hid???

They WHAT with the walker ??? The fuck ???? 😐😐😐

Aiden swinging on Glenn - Glenn dropping him with a single hit - Daryl immediately jumping in - Daryls growling and feral dog pacing - yes 👀

When your own mother thanks someone for knocking you on your ass you know its bad 

“.. Then we’ll just take this place.” Oh FUCK

S5, ep 13

Sleeping on the floor in their own places cause its what they’re used to 

Olivia - pantry and weapons 

“They just keep getting luckier.” .. “We’re here now.” Facts 

Them pretending to be teaching Carol how to shoot while they make plans - iconic considering she’s a queen 

‘W’ on the walker’s forehead ????? Or ‘M’ ??

Imagine trying to get the jump on Daryl - could never be me 

Daryl’s extra hot these last 2 episodes 

YOU MEAN TO TELL ME YOU CAN’T TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HUMANS AND WALKERS BY SOUND ?!?!?! HOW ARE YOU ALIVE ??!?!?!?

She has high hopes for a world in the middle of a zombie apocalypse 

“People are the real threat now.” They kinda always were tho dude 

A welcoming party ??? Seriously ???

“We can’t use Daryl. They’re watching every move he makes.” Leave my Pookie alone 

“I get to be invisible again.” DFNDWOSKNFLKDKNFIJ I HATE YO EX HUSBAND 

Horsey 

Knowing that Norman is terrified of horses makes this hilarious to watch 

“I ain’t gonna hurt ya.” Pookie 

“You used to be somebody’s huh? Now you’re just yours.” That’s oddly profound 

Tobin - weapons 

“The more afraid they get, the more stupid they get.” 

Daryl going to save the horse 

Walkers eating animals - I knew it but fuck it sucks 

NO

NO 

NO 

NO 

NO 

NO 

NOT THE HORSE 

NO 

NO 

Killing the walkers that kill the horse 

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

THATS THE SADDEST DEATH SO FAR 

Daryl lurking outside the party 

“I said try. You did.” 

Pete - doctor 

Pete and Jessie have red ‘A’ on their hands 

Idk how I feel about Jessie 

“I’m just saying, we all lost things.” Yeah but you’ve been behind a wall for god knows how long while Rick and his family were fighting for their lives from cannibals and rapists

Spencer - one of Deanna’s sons 

Pookie, baby, stop eating like that 

“👹Thanks👹”

Aaron has a job for Daryl - and a bike 

YOU WANT DARYL DIXON TO BE A RECRUITER ?!?!?!?

“You want me risking mine, right?” Such a fair comment 

Was that a flicker of emotion on your face I just saw Daryl Dixon ?!??!

“Thanks.. 👹I’ll get you some👹 rabbits👹” 

God Carol don’t get caught 

Not the fucking kid 

CAROL

DAMN 

“You’ll be outside the walls, far, far away, tied to a tree.” Fuck ok 

Why are people expecting them to just.. bounce back into ‘normality’ after god knows how long fighting for their lives ???

RICK

NO

NO

ABSOLUTELY NOT 

It’s a zombie apocalypse and you’re worried about your book club ???? The fuck is wrong with you 

SASHA BBY CALM 

I KNOW THEY’RE CRAZY 

KEEP IT TOGETHER 

S5, ep 14

Pastor man ripping up the Bible 

BIKE 

DARYL 

DARYL ON BIKE 

KSJDFNORNFVOIK

Reg agreeing to teach Noah about architecture 

I’m just waiting for shit to hit the fan 

“Now you’re going to die.” On the music is ironic and not at all helpful 

EUGENE SHUT THE FUCK UP

Why are you questioning Glenn?!?!?

Aiden you are a fucking idiot and I hate you 

Glad he’s dead

Tara pls don’t be dead 

Eugene pls die 

This fucken kid is really annoying Jesus 

Fuck Aiden’s not dead 

“Let’s be friends man.” Why you being threatening then Pete ?

Aiden deserves it 

Pete’s abusing Jessie - calling it now 

Fuck Nicholas man - walkers got Noah because Nicholas is a coward 

Pastor man thinks that Satan is at play in the walls of Alexandria - through Rick and his family 

Carol also thinks Pete is abusing Jessie 

“The day will come when they’ll put their own lives before yours and everyone else’s and they will destroy everything you have here, everything you’re working so hard to build.” 

“You’re gonna have to kill him.” Uh.. ok. 

S5, ep 15

The music is a vibe 

Sasha sweetie you ok? 

OI CAROL MADE THAT FOR YOU

DON’T YOU DARE IGNORE IT 

Light off in the distance - Daryl leave it alone 

Nicholas you piece of shit 

Also don’t trust Spencer 

Actually - I don’t trust any of the people in Alexandria 

She knew he was beating his wife and she did nothing about it - get fucked 

They’ve been fighting for so long they need it 

Who’s hacking up walkers ????

THE WOMAN TIED TO A TREE AND LEFT TO DIE 

‘W’ again 

“If it’s gotten worse, it means he’s killed you.” Facts 

Rick why this chick ??

Don’t lie Rick, you have done this shit foe others 

“Someone who’s trying not to kill you.” I get it, but like.. please do 

“We’re the ones who live.” 

“We have to control who lives here.” “Thats never been more clear to me than right now.” So Rick’s gotta go but the wife beater can stay? Get fucked 

MICHONNE ?!?!?!

S5, ep 16

Morgan? 

Who’s the dick with the gun? 

HES GOT A ‘W’

Y’all are getting yo asses beat 

Why’d you roll up on a man with a gun that doesn’t work?????

DARYL

YO THIS EPISODE IS OVER AN HOUR LONG THE FUCK 

“Because these people are children and children like stories.” 

Sasha what the fuck are you doing? 

Are the people they sent away going to cause problems ???

Side note: Carl and Rick have the same eyes - the casting director did a good job there 

WHO RIGGED THE TRUCKS 

‘W’ 

Using the chain fuckkkkk

‘Trap. Bad people coming. Don’t stay.’ Well fuck 

“And then who would believe I did it because I didn’t like you?” Carol my queen 

“You’re a small, weak nothing.” Slay 

NICHOLAS I WILL KILL YOU

HOW DARE YOU 

LEAVE GLENN ALONE 

Why in the FUCK would you make it so the wife beater can see his wife’s house when you’ve separated him ?????

Ayeeeeee we got a Daryl chuckle !!!!

MORGAN SAVING DARYL AND AARON 

Please let the Pastor man die 

Rosita meddling to get Abraham and Eugene to talk - mother of 2 shitty kids behaviour 

NO

DON’T LEAVE THE GATE OPEN 

YOU FUCKER 

Don’t fucking leave Glenn to die you bastard 

“I’m still with you.” Obviously 

RICK 

LEAVE THE GATE 

PASTOR MAN HAS PROBABLY DONE IT ON PURPOSE TO FRAME YOU 

FUCKEN HELL

WALK AWAY 

“I think I wanna die.” Sasha you’ve been through hell and you’re not back yet. 

Pastor man can rot 

GUYS

WHILE YOU’RE DECIDING IF HE’S WORTH IT, HE’S SAVING YOUR LIVES FROM WALKERS 

Oh thank god Glenn 

Who shot the walker on Rick ??? Sasha ????

“Simply put, there is a vast ocean of shit that you people don’t know shit about. Rick knows every fine grain of said shit and then some.” Yes, yes he does. 

Rick, bby, that’s not how you do this 

Nicholas begging for his life - as he should 

‘W’ has photos of Rick and Carl -  fuck 

Pete killing Reg 

“Rick.. do it.” Oh so he can kill when its convenient for YOU 

Daryl and Aaron bringing Moran to Rick, just as Rick kills Pete 

[azikarue]

MayBlade 2023 : Day 10 : Maid

Rick/Mariah | FFN Rated: M (for language + canoodling) | FFN Link ❖ It was one of those spring days that made most people want to get off of their ass and do something productive.

Rick could tell as soon as he woke up to sunlight streaming into his bedroom and the curtains dancing in the breeze. It wasn’t hot enough for the city air to smell like straight garbage yet, and it was pleasantly cool for what promised to be a sunny day.

But as far as he was concerned, it was the perfect day to have zero obligations and Mariah in his bed, if she was up for it.

With that thought, Rick heaved himself to his feet. He didn’t bother making the bed, instead grabbing some clean clothes and heading toward the bathroom.

Mariah had to be up already, but he didn’t see her in the living area. It wasn’t unusual for her to run errands by herself, so he didn’t think anything of it until he was leaving the bathroom, toweling his hair off after a shower, and realized the door to the guest room was open.

Mariah hadn’t spent much time in the guest room since her first visit. She kept some clothes in the closet and would get dressed in there sometimes, but he had no clue what she could’ve been doing in there all morning.

He tossed the towel over his shoulder and went to investigate.

He found her sitting on the floor, folding a pile of clothes and shoving them in a garbage bag. She looked up when he appeared in the doorway and he smirked at the way her eyes traveled over his naked torso, met his gaze, and then bounced back down to look again. It wasn’t a coincidence that she swallowed right as a stray drop of water fell from his hair, down his body, to the waistband of the sweats hanging low on his hips.

“What are you doing?” he asked, hoping that whatever it was, she could be convinced to do something else entirely.

Mariah gave her head a shake. There was a promising dusting of pink on her cheeks when she answered, “Spring cleaning. I don’t wear any of these clothes that much, so I thought I’d start here. I want your help in the living room, next.”

Rick was torn between commenting on how he didn’t realize she had that many fucking clothes in the apartment when she didn’t actually live in New York and complaining about cleaning on his day off. Either one might affect his chances at getting to see Mariah naked anytime soon, so he decided to try another angle.

“Why?” he asked, only a little bit grumpily.

“This is your apartment, Rick,” Mariah pointed out. She was still sneaking glances at any bare skin she could see and it was fucking distracting. “You can help clean – I’m not your maid.”

“I never asked you to clean shit,” Rick reminded her gentler than he might have under other circumstances; she hadn’t folded any clothes in a few seconds, too busy gawking. He crossed his arms over his chest and watched Mariah’s eyes track the movement.

“It’ll go faster if we do it together,” she said to his biceps.

“Is that really how you want to spend the day?” He grabbed his towel again and purposefully dried his hair rough, so more droplets would land on his skin for Mariah to see.

“I did the bathroom, kitchen, and bedroom last night while you were working. The living room is the last big chunk that’s left.” Mariah went back to bagging clothes, determinedly not looking at Rick. They might not have been as neatly folded as the first batch, but she did manage to finish. She stood up and made to walk past him. “Go put a shirt on so you can help.”

He held out an arm, pressing his hand against the door frame to block her path, and said, “I’ve got better things to do.”

Mariah looked up at him with a challenging glare. She put a hand on his forearm, as if to push him away, but instead brushed it gently over the muscle until her thumb was stroking the inside of his elbow. Her touch was soft enough to give him fucking goosebumps.

“Oh yeah?” she asked, leaning into his personal space, golden eyes gleaming mischievously. “Like what?”

That was all the invitation Rick needed to scoop her up in his arms and toss her onto the guest bed. She was laughing as she landed and giggled again when Rick kneeling on the bed made her slide toward him as the mattress sunk.

“Shitty mattress,” he grumbled.

“We can add it to the list, if you want,” Mariah offered, shimmying up toward the pillows. “Good time to get a new one.”

“What is it with you and cleaning today?”

It might as well have been a rhetorical question for how quickly he kissed her after asking. Mariah sighed, parted her lips, and met his tongue with her own. She didn’t give up control easily, pulling on a fistful of his hair anytime the kiss grew hard enough to force her down onto the pillow.

“What is it with you and your one-track mind today?” Mariah mumbled against his lips, before connecting for another kiss.

Rick barely recognized that she was mocking his previous question, too preoccupied with the way she moved, adjusting her position beneath him, to let him fall into the vee of her thighs.

“It’s better than mopping the fucking floors.”

Her answer was to squeeze his hips so tight with her legs that he might actually find bruises there later. He groaned into her mouth at the thought.

For as rough as Mariah could be, everything about her body was so fucking soft. Rick let his hands roam, starting at those strong thighs holding him close and working his way up her body, over her ass. Mariah shivered at his touch and dragged her nails down his chest, the grip on his hair tightening.

Bracketed in by the sting of her touch, he smirked against her lips and grazed one knuckle over the underside of her breast.

She gasped and bit his tongue hard.

“Fuck!” He pulled back enough to take in her blown-wide pupils, messy hair, and self-satisfied smirk as she fought to catch her breath.

Rick narrowed his eyes at her and decided he was safer kissing her neck for now. He pushed her shirt up so he could touch the bare skin of her waist, feel her breathing speed up as he sucked his way from the base of her neck up to her jaw.

“You know what would be even better?” Mariah asked breathlessly.

“Hmm?” There was a soft, earthy scent coming from her skin, mingling with the floral smell of her shampoo, that was making Rick a little unwilling to answer properly.

Mariah tilted her head to give him better access. He pressed impossibly closer, only to feel her pulling on his hair again, harder, relentlessly, until he obliged and came up for air. He met her eyes with a question in his own, slightly annoyed.

“If you’d come lift up the couch so I can vacuum underneath it.”

“What?” Rick gaped at her as she giggled. To say that caught him off guard would be the understatement of the fucking century, but he wasn’t giving up his plans for the day any easier than she was. “I thought I told you I had better things to do.”

He tugged at her shirt and she lifted her arms, letting him take it the rest of the way off. Fucking finally.

“Did you?” Mariah asked, feigning innocence even as her flush was spreading down her chest, almost as pink as the lace on her bra. She wrapped her arms around his neck and arched up against him, face suddenly mere centimeters from his. “You might have to remind me.”

That, Rick thought, as he claimed her mouth once again, he would agree to do.

[berrybore]

@lilislegacy Also I get that it’s a matter of perspective but I’m going to need you to elaborate a bit more on the sensitivity issue. I would argue that he’s the most sensitive character in the pjo verse. Emotional maturity and sensitivity are not Annabeth’s strengths, I don’t think she balances him out.

You’ve stated some examples of him being an asshole in botl to Annabeth, which I don’t remember ever happening. If anything she was lashing out at him for befriending Rachel and he was trying to keep the peace (this is not Annabeth bash btw I’m just stating facts).

When he gets back from Ogygia, her first instinct is to hug him, shove him, and when she figures out where he spent two weeks, is to “get territorial” as Chiron put it.

Annabeth is character who’s ruled by her emotions and tends to get blinded by them. And Percy knows this and is mindful of it.

He never argues with her about Luke in ttc when she claims she knows he’s still alive even though he wants to. He never directly tells her to her face that he’s a lost cause even though he believed it for so long. He and Thalia even have a conversation about it in the elevator in tlo.

Another example in tlo when she wants to speak about whatever is going on between them and he changes the topic because he just can’t deal with that now. She calls him a coward and stomps away. And he knows what she’s referring to, but he also knows he’s going to die so he doesn’t act on anything he feels.

Again, with som. The whole Tyson ordeal. She was hurt and lashed out. He understood and listened. This is their pattern. It’s really not the other way around. Percy was more sensitive towards clarisse ( a person who’s been unkind to him) than Annabeth was, despite knowing her for longer. “Percy is too nice” she says when he tells them that clarisse is the one who should finish her own quest.

As for Leo, I’m assuming your referring to moa when he blows up camp? It’s not Leo’s fault we know, we also know that Percy swore on his life that the Greeks would not attack to convince Reyna and the senate to even meet with them. And at that point, if I remember correctly, he doesn’t know about the eidolons( how do you spell that word????) either. He gets on the boat and demands what the hell happened( also I’m pretty sure his first instinct was that Octavian was behind it to sour relations between the two camps, but don’t quote me on that I’m not sure). It was a reaction to being on the ground holding off angry Romans away after being fired on. And it was for like, that one moment and it’s over quick and never brought up again.

And Jason, I guess also moa? When they were having their pseudo rivalry ( you will not convince me that shit was real. Rick saw the thalia/ Percy tension in ttc and said copy paste without the substance but anyway I’m digressing again) that was mutual so maybe but I don’t know if I’d count it. Unless your referring to something else?

i love Percy so much but him telling the rest of the Argo II crew basic fucking horror stories about Nico was really fucked up, especially since the stories were so bad that they shaped Jason’s whole view of Nico as a person and made everyone scared of him.

[juicyjuicy05]

So I was reading the goodreads summary of The Sun and The Star when I can across this

I swear to fucking god if the thing of equal value is Will I am going to kill Rick Riordan myself and just throw myself off a cliff oh my god

[darlingshane]

dirty move

Shane Walsh x GN!Reader

Rating: 18+

Word Count: 827

Summary:  Shane is sulking in the shower when you sneak up on him to apologize for something you shouldn't have to.    

Content/Warnings: Angst, Smut, Blow Job (m receiving), Dom/Sub Undertones, Possessive Shane.

A/N: I used sweetheart and slut as pet names.

-- Read below or at AO3.

Shane has been in a mood for a few days now, but it seems like it’s gotten worse in the past couple of days after you went out on that run with Rick and Glenn against his wishes. It didn’t help either when you took Rick’s side when he suggested taking the group to the CDC. You were only expressing your opinion, but he took it like you were voting against him. It’s not like he’s your boss. Hell, he’s not even your boyfriend. You do have something that floats in the relationship realm that boils down to straight up fucking for the most part. He’s unlocked a part of you that was hidden, that has helped you cope with his hellish nightmare you were thrown into a couple of months ago. Sometimes, you’d lean on the other for some comfort too, but those moments are very rare.

At the end of the day, you trust him, but that doesn’t give him the right to demand some sort of blind loyalty towards him. His idea of going to Fort Benning wasn’t bad, but you weren’t going to pick his side solely for the fact that you’re sleeping together. In this case, Rick had the safer option, and the former deputy sheriff was right, cause here you are in the bathroom of the underground facility in Atlanta about to take a hot shower.

Shane might not want to admit it, cause he’s stubborn as a mule, but here you are safe. At least for a little while, you get to relax, and eat with the others without thinking about that imminent threat constantly creeping at your back.

Whether you like it or not, it’s up to you to be the bigger person in this situation and try to break that wall he’s put up before it goes up any higher. You actually like him, and you’d be sad if this is over before it even begins.

So, instead of using one of the other available bathrooms, you sneak up on him in the middle of his shower. He’s dramatically drinking from a whiskey bottle like it was literally the end of the world. It kinda is but still, you find it a little too over the top, even for him.

Lowering the bottle, he gulps his drink, as the spray of water runs down his body. He glances at you with scorn as you take the bottle off his hand.

“Hey,” you place it down by the shower screen, “I uh… I thought maybe we could talk.”

“Hm,” he drags a palm along his face, clearing the water off his eyes to take a good look at your bare body. It’s a filthy move, but it works. He hasn’t listened to a word you said since you left the quarry, but now… he’s more willing to.

“Look, I’m sorry. I wasn’t going against you. I was doing what I thought was best for the group. And see, Rick was right and–”

“Sh, sh, sh,” he sends his palm to cover your mouth, and the other to cradle the back of your head, before you can finish your sentence, commanding between clenched teeth, “I don’t wanna hear you say his name again, or that he’s right, got it?”

You can only nod. For better or for worse, you like this darker part of him, too.

He licks his lips then, and tilts his head to the side to nibble your neck with hunger, making your body quiver.

“Now, if you’re really sorry,” he voices in your ear, “you’d get down on your knees and blow me. Are you sorry, sweetheart?”

You nod once more.

“What are you gonna do about it?” He presses himself against your hips, “are you gonna be a good slut?”

You swallow and cautiously get down to your first knee on the tiled floor, and then the other, as he lets go of your head.

“Good choice,” he praises, watching you as you fist his cock, pumping it to have him swell in your hand before using your mouth.

The water keeps splashing his back, steaming up the room even more as you wrap your lips around his flared head. It’s nice for a change to feel his cock clean from sweat and musk he exudes. Though you've grown used to it, it feels easier for you to take him fully like this until it hits the back of your throat.

“No hands, now. Just your mouth,” he orders, grinning like an asshole, “and don't touch yourself. I know you wanna.”

He does know you well, cause your core is desperately demanding to be touched. You sigh and place your palms on either side of his legs, as your lips and tongue do all the work. He holds your head and makes sure you go all the way down his shaft without wavering until his bittersweet essence is spilled in the middle of your tongue.

[babblydrabbly]

Trust Me Pt. 2 (Rick Flag x Reader)

[Gif]

Pairing(s): Rick Flag x Reader

Characters: Rick Flag, Mentions of Amanda Waller.

Rating: General

Word Count: 1k+

Warning(s): Language, mentions of blood/violence; Suicide Squad (2021) spoilers, mentions of Suicide Squad (2016).

Summary: You were Waller’s rat. Her eyes and ears where technology failed in the field. You represented Rick’s failures and Amanda Waller’s iron grip. So why does he give a shit when you get yourself hurt on a suicide mission? Rick’s first impression has changed a lot since then, but so has yours. Part 2/?

A/N:  Pt 1 

Taglist:  @rrtxcmt @to-be-or-not-to-be-2021

---

You were infuriating. 

You hadn’t spoken two words to Rick since your initial introduction. She’ll be observing operations and providing support on your next mission out, Waller had said smugly. 

Rick threw open your thin dossier when it showed up on his desk for the first time, noting your standard experience in the field. Standard marksmanship. Standard everything. Your speciality was data analysis, for fuck’s sake. When the fuck would Flag need one of Waller’s number-crunching desk jockeys during a life or death mission? 

He even caught you rolling your eyes at his pep talk as the jet took off on your first flight out. Granted, it was the same speech he gave all the new members, but you certainly hadn’t heard it before— And it wasn’t for you.

But you played your part. Not a word during mission planning or the briefing— Not much chatter during the mission itself either— But a hell of a lot during debrief afterward. You even sent Waller a secondary report to be noted off record; A long laundry list of what could have been done more efficiently under team leader’s command. Him. You typed up a 2,500 word document just to drag him through the mud.

Which he read, of course. Several times. 

When his secret contact in Waller’s war room handed him the report, Rick noticed how nervous the man looked, and how quickly he hustled away. Rick wouldn’t have guessed half the bullshit you bothered to put in writing. 

“’Occasional pushover?’” Rick later says abruptly, interrupting your lunch. You jump as he slaps the report down on your desk. There’s stacks of paperwork everywhere, of information about every potential suicide squad member, every past one. Waller has you juggling multiple angles in between your mission outings.

You swallow what’s left of your wilted salad, turning pale, “Where did you get that?”

“’Tendency to be lenient toward prisoners.” Rick continues. He falls into the chair across from you, leaning back with casual disdain. 

“You weren’t supposed to—”

“What? Know how incompetent you think my command is?”

“I didn’t say incompetent.” 

“No,” He agreed, “You used every other word in the damn dictionary to say it.”

“Would you let me talk?” You crossed your arms and faced him. 

Rick threw a hand up, then calmed down. He watched as you stood, hurrying over to your office door to close it quietly. 

“It wasn’t personal.” You say as you sit back down.

“It’s a five page essay.”

“This isn’t high school, Flag.” You snapped. You spin the printed document around to look down at it. Rick leaned forward, a giant in your small guest chair, his elbows resting on his spread knees. He waited for you.

You exhale. “It’s... basically just what Waller wants to hear. What she already thinks of you. I didn’t say anything she doesn’t already complain about.”

Oh good. 

“Nice.” Rick huffs. “Good to know what kind of job I’m doing.”

“Why do you give a shit?” You suddenly ask. It wasn’t like Waller was keeping him from leading the task force. He was still a Colonel. You want to say as much, wondering how any of this could possibly get to someone like Rick Flag.

You observe how he looks away. How his brows pinch together. It was your job to take in the details. To convert it all into a sum game. Months ago, a good chunk of the stacks on your desk pertained to Colonel Rick Flag and Task Force X’s first run. When Waller told you what you would be doing, you wanted to be prepared.

So you read the data. Saw what he was like on paper. You conjured what you considered a total picture of the man before you ever met him. 

Which was why, after seeing him in the field yourself for the first time, you didn’t know what to say. 

You had seen what other security personnel were like at Belle Reve. The humiliation and the torment. You didn't have to go down to the prison building often, but you could hear the screams and the violence on the other side of the wall just the same. 

You read about the nano-bomb protocol, and how Rick initially had the power to blow each and every member’s brains out right there on his wrist— How he didn’t hesitate to use it the first time it happened. 

After that first mission, it was like you’d studied a totally different person. 

The man in the chair before you sighed, putting something heavy away behind his eyes before giving you a small shrug. “Guess I don’t.” He says. And when he leaves, you watch as he purposefully does not take the report with him. 

---

If the shouting match in Rick’s car hadn’t given you a headache yet, this lecture certainly would. You sat in your chair obediently as Amanda Waller ripped you a new asshole. You nodded your head in the right places. You wondered what Rick wanted to say to you, but didn’t. He was right—You weren’t fired. But you sort of wished you were if it meant you could just stop listening and get some rest.

“—Understood, [L/n]?” Waller finished firmly, eventually. 

You nod, giving an apologetic, “Yes, Ma’am.” 

You shuffle out of the war room with your debrief packet in your good hand. You feel a dull ache pulsating from the side of your face. When the warm night air hits you as you exit the building, you realize you don’t know where you’re going. 

“You ready to go?”

You blink up. Rick is closing his driver’s side door shut in an empty parking lot. He waits for you to come down the steps until you’re standing at the bottom in front of him. 

You glance around, “You’re still here?”

A faint look of bemusement. “I said I was getting you home after, didn’t I?”

“To the barracks?”

Rick unfolds his arms and approaches you closely, looking you over in the dark. “You’ve got a week’s leave, [L/n]. Did Waller even talk to you?”

You find yourself being ushered back into the car, and Rick does that thing where he closes the damn door for you like you can’t do it yourself. Like he’s taking care of you. 

“So, you gonna tell Siri where I’m takin’ you or what?” He quips, saddling into his seat. When you look at him his smirk dissipates. Suddenly, there’s a warm touch holding your chin in place, a thumb and forefinger turning your head as Rick examines you carefully. You feel a light puff of breath graze your cheek he’s looking at you so close.

“You popped a stitch.” He murmurs, concerned. As he says it, you feel the trickle of fresh blood seep down to the corner of your eye. You feel the exhaustion of three days without sleep wash over you, of all the adrenaline finally flushing from your system in one last sigh. You pull away from his careful grasp and lean back in your seat, closing your eyes.

“Just head into town.” You hear yourself say. You ramble off the cross streets and building number before finally slipping into something like sleep. 

[poisonpercy]

I have finished wottg, and I would rate it 1.5 out of 5. This book is not good at all. It has its moments here and there, but the story as a whole is not engaging. The writing and plot are bland, the jokes aren’t funny, and the characterization of the main trio is so far removed from all their past canon appearances. You can’t get through a chapter without it either mentioning pee, farts, or that Percy is stupid.

It’s also very clear that Rick is not thinking about the preexisting characters of his long running book series and is instead thinking about the PJO Disney+ adaptation of the characters when writing them. That’s not a good practice to implement because it shows that Rick doesn’t think well on his past writing. The very same writing, might I add, that gave him the fame and fortune he has today. I personally didn’t like the Disney+ show and stopped watching it halfway through because of how disappointing it was. That means I don’t want the show influencing the books, but alas all can’t get what we want.

While the senior year adventurers are supposed to be fun, low-stakes books, it’s clear there’s no love being put into the books, which makes a relatively easy read hard to get through. And furthermore, PJO has always been about disability representation. One of the main points of PJO was to show kids that their disabilities don’t define them. Reading wottg would have you reevaluating that main point because it makes a mockery of Percy having ADHD and dyslexia by saying that the poor grades he gets from his academic struggles with these conditions equates to his intelligence.

Anyways, enough with me rambling. Here is part 1 (of 2) of my reactions to reading wottg.

Spoilers for wottg below:

Please imagine a better crew* 😐

*This does not include the actors of course. No hate towards them. But everyone else, it’s on sight

Starting off strong with the same timeline inconsistency I’ve pointed out multiple times! Percy did not, in fact, miss his entire junior year. He missed his sophomore year. If this is supposed to be the school year following the summer of hoo, Percy would be in his junior year and not his senior year

Hey, so this is actually insane! I’m now wondering about accommodations and if Percy gets them (he should). This paragraph, however, makes it seem like he’s not, or they’re just not the right ones. Despite that, a kidnapping victim shouldn’t be put under this much stress to catch up. Unless, of course, Percy was never reported as a missing person which doesn’t make sense since schools take note of chronic absences. Anyways…

I won’t lie, I laughed at this description of Zeus

Percy is stronger than me because I think hearing that would have broken something in me. I would have snapped. Like genuinely, I would be so pissed if I learned that I could have finished all my recommendation letter quests, but Hecate held them off because she wanted me to pet sit for her. Granted, I wouldn’t mind pet sitting but that’s besides the point

I wish somebody would stop writing books about you, Percy 😒

Aw that’s cute. He’s so in love with Annabeth 🥺

I don’t like Hana. Also, Percy’s insecurity in comparison to Annabeth is strong. I don’t like that these interactions are painting that Annabeth is the smart one and that Percy is the dumb one. The narrative used to treat Percy as smart, if unconventional

So who proofread this book?? Because that’s definitely supposed to be Dave and Hana. Not Paul and Hana

I do love that Annabeth the dog person has made a reappearance. Let her play with all the dogs

I absolutely hate this! Please bring me back to the original characterization of these characters. I am begging for Rick to stop reducing them to shitty fanon interpretations. Percy very much had good ideas. Annabeth has had some stupid ideas. Let these characters be multifaceted again, please. Or else

I can’t take this book seriously when it’s this inconsistent with the established timeline. Leo Valdez is still thought to be dead. How can he tutor Percy in Spanish if he hasn’t arrived to chb with Calypso? Toa hasn’t happened yet, yet somehow Leo is known to be alive 🙄

This is my villain origin story. Percy and Grover being reduced to dumb caricatures of themselves and Annabeth being reduced to the smart, sensible mom friend

I actually am a huge fan of Percy becoming a firefighter. He has some fire resistance and is obviously good with water. The only problem might be possible PTSD surrounding fire due to Mt. Saint Helens and Tartarus

Ok new lore surrounding celestial bronze. I don’t hate this, but kinda wish it was something brought up in previous books. I get why it wasn’t, but idk. Feels like it was only added for convenience

Ok another mention of Leo. This is killing me. That man is still presumed to be dead. Also is the whistle actually something Leo gave Percy in another book (like toa)? Anyways, weird engraving considering the two of them weren’t close to each other

It would be nice if Rick remembered that it was Percy who wanted to attend college in New Rome. This makes it seem like he’s only doing so because Annabeth wants to go to college

New game: take a shot every time wottg implies that Percy is dumb and can’t survive without Annabeth’s help

So we’re just ignoring the long history of Percy comforting Annabeth 🤨 This book is giving me a headache

Why are we making pjotv canon into book canon. Please leave pjotv out of the books. Also Percy is not this oblivious. He’s very perceptive. Why are we changing Percy’s characterization so much? And the changes aren’t even for the better!!

Yes, because the girl character just has to be the mom in every relationship, even when they’re a minor. Totally not regressive and misogynistic. Annabeth deserves better than this

I have to agree with Grover here. I love tzatziki. It’s absolutely divine. I had some on a gyro just a few days ago 😙🤌

Listen, I think this is kind of weird. While it may feel like Percy and Annabeth have been dating for a long time, realistically they’ve only been together for about a year. Most of which Percy was missing. They are not that far in a relationship to be thinking about being parents and it keeps being brought up. Also they’re both 17, so yeah super weird imo

When will my wife (Percy being able to think on his own) return from the war (Rick’s terrible writing)

Says the guy who said all three of them died by drowning in a bathtub. Not but let’s talk about how improv is one of Percy’s strengths that has been a consistent part of his character until now. I could list so many instances in which Percy’s ability to improvise has saved him and his friends, but apparently Rick can’t 🙄

Why does it seem that like every time Percy has a win during this book, Rick makes sure to mention that this is abnormal? As if Percy can’t accomplish things without Annabeth because he’s not as smart as her? This is a disservice to all characters involved. This also makes it seem like Annabeth doesn’t trust Percy’s abilities, which is so untrue

I need a gun 😐

Finally finished the 2 books I planned on reading before wottg came out. It’s now time for me to read wottg. Will report back with my opinions

[agnireed]

The Silence of It

MASTERLIST

Chapter 4

Summary

Y/N has been with the group since the start of the apocalypse yet can’t help but feel like she doesn’t fit in anywhere. When they arrive at Alexandria, she should feel relieved. Instead she’s left feeling confused and stuck in her head. A certain someone helps her out of it.

When you opened your eyes the next morning (afternoon), you didn’t jump out of bed like you instinctively did typically. Instead you laid still for a long time, staring out at the wall across from you.

You waited to feel scared, or embarrassed but when neither emotion came you sighed and closed your eyes again.

Maybe you had dreamed it all and you were still outside the walls, shacked up somewhere that was safe for just now.

Or maybe you were late for work, staying out too late with a friend the night before and now you were here; on their couch, trying to shake yourself awake.

You chuckled to yourself and turned your body swiftly, sitting up and stretching with your hands above your head.

Without getting dressed or clean for the day you hurried outside, noticing a slight chill rolling through you. It must’ve been around fall now, the leaves changing just enough for you to notice if you looked closely.

You saw a few people walking around, looking like they were in between places, no time to talk. Still you stopped a lady who was holding a glass dish of… something, asking her if she knew where Rick was.

Your mouth was downturned following the direction her finger had pointed, you felt disoriented and off put. Not seeing anybody from your group for this long was starting to worry you.

You turned one last corner, finally letting out a large breath when you saw Rick, kneeling in a woman’s garage and touching pieces of metal across the ground.

You watched from a distance, eyes half glared between your hair and listened to them talk about her broken owl, not wanting to intrude. Or more true, not wanting to engage in a conversation.

“This was an owl, Rick.” She smiled and you watched her eyes glide across his face and land on you, a car lengths behind him. She nodded in your direction and he turned and sighed.

“Well I got to do something today.” He finished addressing her, turning before she spoke again and making his way towards you, well past you.

He walked his normal fast pace and you jogged to catch up with him, frowning at him not stopping to talk to you.

“Deanna still not give you a job?” He finally asked, cocking his head towards you as you walked together. You shook your head and he sighed, running a hand across his jaw.

“We’ve gotta problem,” His voice was lower now, like he was keeping a secret and you piqued with interest at the thought of finally having something to do. “I heard walkers through the walls.”

You felt deflated slightly, “So what,” you started, “Walkers through the big tall metal walls surrounding us? Am I missing the problem here or is there something more?”

He chuckled, humorously and nodded to his right, making a sharp turn. You followed on his ankles, stopping next to a seemingly random part of the wall. He watched you as you leaned in, ear against the slightly chilled metal.

You shrugged and pulled off of it quickly, “I’m not getting it Rick lay it out for me.”

He shook his head, looking down towards the floor.

“I don’t know Y/N,” he seemed pained. “Maybe I’m not getting it either. If you, of all people, aren’t having an issue then I don’t know why I am.”

You felt slightly offended at his words, albeit you understood what he meant. You wondered if now was the time to tell him all the trouble you’ve been having, how you felt like a live wire, or if that would unsettle him more.

“You think I’m not having issue?” You said it harsher than you intended. “Everyone’s gone Rick. Out there helping and surviving and you’re in here, doing the same. So why am I stuck here doing absolutely nothing.”

Although you didn’t voice your actual concerns to him you were immediately hit by the fact in what you were saying. Why were you in here. Did you mess up that bad with your initial meeting with Deanna that she had dubbed you completely useless?

“I don’t know,” He said it slowly, voice darkening. “I told her about you Y/N, don’t think I didn’t. How you’re as strong as any of us, more so.”

You nodded, slightly scolded even if he was defending you and you reached out and put a hand on his arm.

“Don’t let the walls drive you crazy Rick.”

Rick had left you with something more important than you knew what to do with. He told you where to find Deanna, and no instruction on what to say when you found her.

Still, despite your hesitance, you felt your fist against her door. The door swung open, Maggie standing behind it with a frown.

Her face brightened, “Oh it’s you. The knocking sounded urgent I was worried.”

“Who said it isn’t urgent?” You teased, although you were frowning, slightly off put by the dismissal.

She smiled softly and ushered you inside, holding your arm as she led you down the same hallway you had been through when you arrived.

When you rounded the corner and caught sight of the woman you were here to see, you felt a bit dumb at the panic in your stomach.

You had dealt with far worse people than Deanna, people so bad you couldn’t sleep. You wondered if it was her complexity that unnerved you.

“Y/N” She greeted, smiling warmly and gesturing to the wicker seat across from her. “Have a seat of course, what can I help you with.”

You didn’t sit, instead hovering behind the seat, hands tightened on the knitted material. For a moment you wondered if you should sit, wondered if that was the issue she took with you in the first place.

“I need a job Deanna.” You started, she didn’t seem startled at your approach and that agitated you further. “You can’t keep me locked in here with nothing to do.”

She turned her head.

“Do you feel like a caged animal Y/N?” She was frowning and it seemed genuine. “Like you aren’t allowed to leave without consequences?”

You folded at her questions, pushing off the chair and pacing slightly in her kitchen. You turned your gaze to Maggie, sitting with the same expression as Deanna.

“I don’t understand.” You scoffed, hands raising slightly. “I am capable of any of the jobs you’ve given the others, I’m not weak Deanna.”

“Oh I know you’re not Y/N, that’s not why I’m having any difficulty placing you.” She assured, standing with you but not crossing onto your side of the room. You were thankful she didn’t.

“Then what?” You were embarrassed at your voice raising, embarrassed you were throwing a fit like a child.

She sighed softly, clasping her hands together. “I will let you know as soon as I know. I ask you to trust me just with this one thing.”

You felt yourself physically deflate, eyes softening as you let out a breath. You nodded and turned and left swiftly, not wanting to show anymore weakness then you had already.

She didn’t understand what she was asking of you, she didn’t realize what she wanted was harder than you laying down your life to her.

Before you could get out of the hallway you felt a hand wrap around your wrist and you flung your arm back. Whoever had grabbed it thankfully ducked out of the way.

You turned to see Maggie, looking saddened and confused. At the sight of her familiar face, your eyes filled with tears and you leaned into her, welcoming a hug.

“She knows you’re strong.” She assured bringing you over to sit on the steps just down the hall. “We’ve all told her what you’ve done for us.”

You shook your head, opening your mouth to argue her claim, stopping when a knock interrupted you.

You sighed, hanging your head, as you listened to Deanna approach and open the door. However the voice that appeared caused you to raise your head with a snap, meeting Maggie’s panicked stare.

“I need to speak with you,” You heard Gabriel speak, out of breath and urgent sounding. “Privately.”

You listened to Deanna urge him in, Maggie’s eyes wide on yours.

“Satan, he disguises himself as the angel of light.“ You frowned as he started, wondering if he had taken the path of a Jehovah’s Witness nowadays. “I’m afraid that false light is here, inside these walls.”

It didn’t take a genius to understand what he was implying and you felt your demeanor darken. You started to stand, stopped by Maggie who pulled you back down, shushing you.

“Your community” He continued, “you say it’s not a paradise but it is. I’m grateful to be here, I am. But you made a mistake letting in the others.”

Your blood ran cold at the blatantness in which he spoke of your family. Of the people who had pulled him from that rock and protected him for more miles than you could think of right now.

“Rick… his group… they’re not good people.”

You felt Maggie squeeze your hand, catching her eye to see the same anger and betrayal that was floating in yours.

You felt yourself float out of your head again as Deanna attempted to defend your groups decisions, immediately countered by Gabriel.

You knew he was wrong, knew he was nothing but a disgusting spineless coward but you felt yourself nearly vomit at what he was saying about the things you’d done.

You had never sat and thought about the things you’d done, the things you been forced to do by this world.

Never thought maybe you were the one who kept somebody else up at night.

“They don’t deserve this, they don’t deserve paradise.”

The difference between the way you had described this place as something of a cage verses his paradise hit you and you hoped with everything in you the same thing hadn’t become clear to Deanna.

You couldn’t leave this place, you alone yes you could face it, but your family needed this.

You thought of Carl and the baby, of Noah. Every face flashed in your mind, even Gabriel’s, no you couldn’t live like that again.

You were snapped out of your thoughts at the sound of screaming from outside and you felt your stomach light up at the realization it was Glenn’s voice, Glenn screaming for help.

Maggie stood so quickly, your hand still locked in hers and you felt your body lurch towards the front door, only for a moment catching Deanna’s eye.

You felt yourself floating away again, the sound of crickets and Rick speaking to Glenn.

You very vaguely heard them begin to argue over the ‘Us’ factor of being here, of being with these people. You felt confused hearing Noah’s name spoken and you wished you had the strength to stand and go inside.

Noah was dead and you weren’t sure if you were understanding this yet.

It had been a long time since someone had died and even longer since you hadn’t been there to see it. To see them bleed or to see them torn apart in front of you.

Last night you had went to sleep, Noah laughing across the room with someone and then this morning he had been gone when you woke up. And now he wasn’t going to come back from that run ever.

It wasn’t connecting to you, you didn’t feel like you were grieving, you felt like you were waiting for him to come back from his run.

The line of thinking made Daryl pop into your head.

You had been trying not to think about him due to the embarrassment that sprung up every time you did but you also didn’t want to worry about him.

You were tired of feeling so clingy and driving yourself crazy worrying for the wellness of someone who knew how to survive better than anyone you’d met.

You knew he was okay and you knew he would be back soon so you couldn’t help but wonder why he won’t leave your head.

Every moment you worry about him and wish he was here, at least in sight. You wished it now most of all, thinking about how simple of a run it had been with Noah and he was with a group, with your group.

Daryl was alone, with Aaron but virtually alone and knowing him he wouldn’t come home at all versus coming home without Aaron so if something happened, if anything happened.

You shook your head, there was no use in thinking like that. Not now especially.

You weren’t sure when you had fallen asleep but waking up on the porch was one of your worst mornings in a long time. You were still propped up on the railing and suddenly you were thankful for the nights you spent sleeping in trees or else you’re sure you would’ve lost your balance.

For a second you wondered why you were awake, feeling exhaustion wrack through you, until the screams and gasps from up the street floated towards you.

You tilted sideways, falling off the porch but luckily landing on your feet before you could crash into the rocks below you. You felt dizzy and a pain snap through your ankles but you took off running.

You let out a growl when you realized what was happening, seeing Rick on top of a body. You were angry at him but then afraid and protective knowing he would need good reason for this type of thing nowadays.

You watched them struggle, eyes darting around the crowd seeing if there was others from your group and what they were doing.

Your fist were clenched at your sides, ready to step in, ready to grab the person closest to you, but you felt confused at everybody being so still.

Everybody nearly hiding behind eachother, blending into the crowd of strangers.

Suddenly all your feelings of being in a cage alone were rising to the surface and you felt surrounded.

You watched Carl attempt to pull Rick off, being thrown back and your feelings of fear were overwhelmed with worry. You rushed over to him, helping him scramble back to his feet and pushing him behind you slightly.

Deanna was here now, arriving at some point during your move over to Carl, and you listened to her yell at Rick.

Everything stopped moving when he sat up straight, gun in hand.

“Or what? You gonna kick me out?” He seemed almost amused and you felt a flash of recognition at the look in his eyes.

“You still don’t get it. None of you do.” He was circling the crowd now with his gaze, eyes meeting yours for a second. He gave you a nod, familiarity at your stance.

You didn’t understand Rick’s reasoning but you had never needed one before.

He continued his rant, waving the gun almost unconsciously. The slight threat in his words didn’t miss you and judging by the look on Deanna’s face, it didn’t miss her either.

“We have to control who lives here.”

“That’s never been more clear to me than it is right now.” Deanna’s voice was steady, watching Rick with guarded eyes. She looked so different than the one who originally welcomed you with open arms and you suddenly recalled Gabriel’s lecture to her.

“Me? Me? You-“ Rick laughed, turning on his knees to look at her more clearly. From behind him, you frowned clutching Carl’s arm tightly.

You wondered if this was the start of something, right here at this moment. If there would be a walking away from this.

“If you don’t fight you die.” Rick spat, continuing on. You were familiar with this mantra of his, a lot of you adopting it as your own. “I’m not gonna stand by-“

You had seen Michonne coming but for some reason her taking down Rick still shocked you. You watched her gaze meet Deanna’s and that familiar sense of betrayal snuck back into you.

Realistically you knew Rick was acting erratically, bringing his outside voice into these people’s prissy and proper neighborhood, yet you still didn’t understand.

You had been told half a dozen time now you still weren’t adjusting, you understood that, but Rick was your leader. You felt unsure that if Rick was exiled, everyone would leave with him.

You were following some of the group into where Rick was being kept. Carol had asked you to come with, although you knew they didn’t expect you to speak so you weren’t sure why you were coming.

You weren’t speaking, listening to them debate and talk, listening to Carol lie about her knowing about the gun, and listening to Michonne ask Carol why she was hiding from these people.

You couldn’t bite your tongue.

“How can you wonder why,” You spat out, standing across from Abraham in the doorway. “I’m the only one not playing a part right now and look at how everyone acts around me. Deanna won’t even give me a job, I’m like a rabid dog. “

“A guard dog.” You heard Abraham mumble under his breath and you kicked his leg, making him laugh.

“These people are children and children like stories.” Carol explained to both you and Michonne.

“What happens after all the nice words and they still try to kick him out.” Abraham added and you felt yourself tense up at the thought.

“They’re guarding the armory now.” Glenn spoke, understanding the silent plan.

“We still have knives,” Carol assured,” And Y/N..”

Rick chuckled and rubbed a hand over his face, not fully amused at the idea of fighting. He gave you a signal for the meeting, a whistle and you felt your skin buzz slightly with adrenaline.

You didn’t want to fight these people, it would be like fighting a wounded gazelle. But you couldn’t leave this place. None of you could and if they wouldn’t let you stay, there was only one way.

“Y/N grabs Deanna, I take Spencer, you grab Reg, Glenn and Abraham cover us, watch the crowd.” Rick was explaining, slipping into his voice he’s used for dozen of plans over the time you’ve been together.

You listened to them debate, words becoming fuzzy while you thought over the scene Rick was painting.

For a moment you wondered about your ability to fight if it came down to it. You hadn’t been outside the walls since getting here and you’d been so caught up in adjusting you hadn’t been training or taking care of yourself.

You scowled at the floor, crossing your arms and leaning against the wall. Rick laid onto his side, cleaning excusing you all and you followed on Glenn’s heels.

A/N So i was writing for a while and realized how much of this half season daryl isn’t in lol so this is more of a reader chapter and getting to know this character who i rlly love btw… and side note she doesn’t think any less of the group for not siding with Rick she’s just very similar to Daryl where she will go with him no matter what she feels abt it! Plz let me know your thoughts lol feedback rlly helps

[lokissuper]

Need To Be Safe| Carl Grimes x Reader

Summary: Carl doesn't want reader to get hurt during the bombing of Alexandria.

Request: from @hannahlovesfinnick​ I was wondering if you could do a Carl x my oc (Hannah) request, you don’t have to use the name, you can use y/n if you want. So maybe you can do something that takes place in season 8 where Hannah and Carl go out together and Hannah is there where Carl finds siddiq and gets bit in canon. But instead since Hannah is there because her and Carl are dating, Carl doesn’t get bit and Hannah helps Carl and siddiq fight the walkers off and no one gets majorly hurt. So, like in canon, Carl takes siddiq to the sewers along with Hannah. And while Alexanderia is evacuating, Carl and Hannah have an emotional goodbye after he convinces her to go with them after a small argument with her wanting to make sure he’s ok and him wanting to protect her. So Hannah goes with the others and the rest goes as canon. after the saviours bomb Alexandria, it can maybe end with Carl meeting them in the sewers and it can be fluffy with him holding her and trying to reassure her that everything will work out for them and that their ok

DISCLAIMER! I never really followed the timeline at the beginning of season 8, was just kinda confusing. So if there is anything wrong then I apologize, but thank you for the request. I also listened to Easy Street on repeat to write this for some reason. I didn't proof read this because I was too excited to get it out.

Living in a world full of zombies was kind of a pain sometimes. I mean you could probably guess that it would. But growing up in during an apocalypse isn’t what I though my imagined my future. 

Early on, my parents and I found a group and stuck with them. I found a boy my age and he became my best friend, Carl. His dad led us through the world of the unknown and protected us, especially me when my parents got bit. 

It was when we were finally settling at Hershel's farm and a herd made it’s way through the fields. I didn’t know what happened until everyone reunited after the damage and saw that they weren’t there, along with Andrea. The adults tried to put on a brave face for me but I had matured to much that I knew they were dead. But when we found Andrea again I had a little hope in me that they were still out there, until I overheard her tell Rick that she saw them get taken down by walkers.

From then on I had the whole group looking out for me, including Carl. 

Carl and I had been through a lot together, being there for him when he had to put his mother down, when it was confirmed mine were dead, and when Glenn and Abraham were brutally murdered by Negan.

I wasn’t there for the line-up, but just hearing about it made me realize that I couldn’t keep holding in my feelings for Carl. Especially in a world like our where something could happen to one of us any second.

So I told him and reciprocated. We’ve been dating ever since and continued to watch out for one another. 

We were always looking for people to bring back to Alexandria, people who could help us in a great deal. So when Carl came back from a run with his dad and told me he found someone I was onboard. I was a little hesitant at first because of our war with the Saviors, but if Carl was confident then I was too. We went out to find the mystery person hopefully in the same place as last time. 

We did find him. But surrounded by walkers.

So we helped him, Siddiq, with these walkers because he didn’t seem to know what he was doing. I killed the first one but then saw one cornering Carl and grabbed it off of him, pushing it to the ground. I then shot it in the head. 

Siddiq showed gratitude to us for coming back for him, we asked him our procedure questions and were on our way to Alexandria. We knew Negan and the Saviors were going to be coming tonight, and it wasn’t going to end well.

-

Carl and I snuck Saddiq into the boarded town, and to the opening in the sewers Carl found to keep people safe. Saddiq thanked us again before climbing down the ladder to the sewers in which Carl and I followed so we could get him settled. We grabbed a cot, pillows and blankets so he was comfortable and gave him food. Carl and I left him down in the Sewers for a few hours before the sun started to set, and we knew what was coming. 

Carl and I were standing watching the sun set from one of the watch towers when he started to speak.

“I want you down in the sewers tonight. I need to make sure your safe.” 

I turned my head to him and furrowed my eyebrows. I was confused since we always fought through these types of things together, looking out to make sure the other was covered. 

“No.” I said.

“It wasn’t a question. This is going to get out of hand and I can’t have you out here.” He said frustrated.

“Where is this coming from?” I asked.

Carl shook his head before responding,”You weren’t there that night. With Glenn and Abraham, seeing what Negan is capable of. We really made him mad this time.”

“Don’t you think I know that, I know he is a threat and dangerous. I know. I also wish I was there that night too. I wish I was there so bad it hurts, I know I shouldn’t but just the idea that something could’ve happened to you-” I cut myself off. “I’m not leaving you this time.”

He looked at me sternly, I could see in his eyes he understood where I was coming from but he still was standing with his choice.

“I don’t want to lose you either. But that is why I need you to be safe, where I know you will stay alive.” He said to me.

I fully turned to him now, growing angry with him.

“Not unless you come with me.” I said crossing my arms.

“I can’t, this is my show and I need to run it. Dad’s not here so I have to be.” He said.

I scoffed,”He’s going to kill you. If not you then everyone else, I understand where your coming from but if you die, then I die. End of story.”

Carl and I started to make our way down to the ground. Shaking his head on the way down, before he could say anything I spoke up again when I set my feet on the floor.

“I can’t lose you, your the only one I have.” 

He looked at me and saw tears welling up in my eyes. He knew I still mourned my parents death and that I felt incredibly lonely even though I had him. He walked closer to me and brushed a piece of hair behind my ear. 

“You have so many people looking out for you, so much family here. I can’t lose you either.” He spoke softly to me.

I looked him in the eyes and started to cry. I whispered, “Okay. I will go in the sewers. But as soon as things get hectic you bring you butt down there.”

Carl reached for my waist and pulled me toward him, smiling at me,”I understand.”

We walked hand in hand to the entrance to the sewers, everyone else had already been moved down there and I was the last one left. It was pretty dark out now and we had to hurry

I turned to Carl and brought him into a kiss, a passionate and loving kiss. One we hadn’t had yet in our relationship. I couldn’t go down there without kissing him, not knowing what was going to happen later. Our lips moved together and my arms were wrapped around his neck playing with the ends of his hair. Carl was slightly shocked with the power of the kiss but quickly wrapped him arms around my waist. I realized how much I loved him, even though we hadn’t said the three words to each other yet. 

I pulled away from him but Carl joined our lips together again in a long peck. He pulled away but only enough so he could whisper into my lips, “I love you so much.” I smiled.

“I love you.” I pulled away from him fully. I looked at him one last time before turning to the sewer and climbing down the ladder.

-

The ground was trembling and my ears were in pain because of the noise. I thought for sure there was no world anymore above us. 

The bombs were going off for a little bit now, I held Judith to my chest and hushed her to make sure she didn’t make any noises that could give us away. Not like they could hear her up on the ground especially with the sound of gunshots and grumbling of grenades.

Carl still hadn’t made his way down to the sewers yet, and it was far past safe from what I was hearing. Which meant Carl was either taken, dead, or just plain stubborn. I tried not to think about it to much, because Judith needed me right now. I was cooing to her when I heard the steel trapdoor to the sewers opened. We were told to be quiet when we heard to door open because we never knew if it was one of us or an enemy. But, when I saw my boyfriends sheriff hat I quickly get up to run to him but he out his finger over his mouth then pointed up. I quickly understood that there were saviors above us. He grabbed my hand that wasn’t holding Judith and lead my away from the entrance. When he deemed it far enough away he pulled me into a gentle hug, watching for his little sister in my arms.

I gently spoke in his ear,” We’re okay. Are you?”

He nodded. 

I pulled away and pecked him on the lips before giving him Judith. I was so happy he was safe.

[luminnara]

I wonder what Dick would be like trying to flirt on the lead up if the mission, trying to be smooth and cool before screaming next to Weasel. The back track of trying to be cool again after than freak out would be glorious and I would probably fall for it, lol

Dick Hertz x fem!reader

This ended up way longer than intended and I am not mad about that lol

Sfw but raunchy!

Requests for oneshots and HCs are open!

You were no stranger to the concept of the suicide squad.

Thanks to your own colorful past, and powers that you couldn’t always quite control at first, you were stuck serving out a long ass sentence at Belle Reve, the shittiest shit hole of them all. Your only escape from the mundane, high-security monotony was the occasional mission from Waller.

The Suicide Squad—more officially known as Task Force X—was the latest installment in Amanda Waller’s series of highly classified, top secret, black ops teams. She chose Belle Reve’s most infamous criminals, many of whom had extraordinary powers and even more extraordinary reputations, and tossed them together on incredibly dangerous missions. You knew she didn’t care whether you lived or died, but successfully completing such impossible tasks always cut time off your sentence, and with nothing else to do with your time, you always thought it was worth the risk.

And besides...you hadn’t died yet.

So when Waller approached you during your daily yard time, you already knew what to expect.

“Yeah, yeah.” You grumbled as you followed her into the exam room and plopped down in the same old chair. “I know the drill. I go off mission, you blow my brains out.”

“—with the explosive device implanted in the base of your skull. Correct.” Waller said, unimpressed.

“And what, you have to give me a fresh one?” You raised an eyebrow as the doctor made you lean forward. “Lose the button for the last one or something? Or are you afraid that just one won’t do the job?”

Waller looked even less impressed. “I suggest you put a lid on that attitude today.”

“Why?” You winced at the feeling of a thick needle pushing into the back of your neck. “Jesus, fuck! Seriously, how many little bombs do I need in my head?”

“Good luck, puppy.” The doctor sneered as you stood up to follow Waller back out into the corridor.

“This is a black ops mission.” She continued with her usual spiel. “Your commanding officer is Colonel Rick Flag.”

You gasped. “The Colonel Rick Flag?”

She turned to glance at you.

“I have no idea who that is.”

You could hear her sigh in exasperation. “Suit up and go outside to the transport. You’ll meet the rest of the team and fly out to Corto Maltese.”

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes. Yeah, the Suicide Squad was a nice distraction from your shitty everyday life...but putting your ass on the line for someone who didn’t give a shit whether you lived or died, and who was always hovering above the button that would splatter your brains all over the wall, wasn’t exactly the greatest feeling in the world.

Waller waited as you ducked into a room to change. There was a black box waiting for you, and upon opening it, you couldn’t help but grin at the sight of your old gear. The dark gray leather suit fit like a glove, and your gun had been cleaned and polished after your last mission, the painfully bright fluorescent lights reflecting off of the barrel with a gleam. You grabbed your gloves and strapped your ammo belts on before buckling a gray carbon fiber mask on.

Wearing your own stuff always lifted your spirits. It was the suit you’d been arrested in a few years ago back in Metropolis, and after seizing it, the feds had been nice enough to give it some upgrades with newer tech. Anything to make you a better government-sanctioned killing machine, you guessed, and it’s not like you were gonna turn it down. After all, killing was how you ended up in Belle Reve in the first place, and it was one of the only things you were good at...it just made sense for Waller to want to put your near-inhuman skills to good use.

You walked out to join her again, lugging a canvas bag of equipment and supplies along behind you.

“Pick that up and carry it correctly.” She snapped as the doors at the end of the hall opened.

“Why don’t you eat my—“

You interrupted yourself by groaning at the bright sunlight as it hit your eyes, raising a hand to shield your face as you managed to spot an armored truck waiting for you.

“You’ll have a lot of new teammates.” Waller called after you. “Be on your best behavior. I’m not responsible for anything they do to you.”

“Probably just a bunch of old farts like always!” You yelled back as you jumped up into the back of the vehicle.

Two guards sat down on either side of you as you got yourself settled in. There was another woman already waiting, her skin orange, her hair in a high ponytail that seemed to be pulled through the top of her helmet. She was regarding you with very little interest, and that was absolutely fine with you. You had a few friends within the Belle Reve prison complex, and you weren’t necessarily looking for more.

The ride was short and uneventful. You passed through a few gates that took forever to open, waited for a few security checks, the usual shit. When the truck came to a halt and you hopped out again, you were at a small airbase hosting a few hangars for planes and helicopters, one of the latter already sitting outside. Guards from Belle Reve were lining the circle of armored vehicles, and as yours joined them and the back doors were opened once more, you grimaced at the bright sunlight.

“Afraid of a little sun?” The orange woman laughed, baring her teeth at you.

“Hurts my eyes,” you mumbled, jumping down after her.

You landed on pavement, looking down at your feet in an attempt to avoid the oncoming headache you knew was imminent. When your shoulder rammed into someone, though, you had to look up anyway.

What you saw wasn’t exactly what you were expecting.

A good looking blond guy was looking down at you, a cocky grin on his face. “Whoa, didn’t realize we were getting a babe this time!”

You glared at him, grateful for the mask covering the lower half of your face.

He couldn’t see you blush that way.

“Little girl’s got some ammo, huh?” He reached for one of the belts strapped across your chest,

Your hand flew up to grab his wrist and you held him in a Vice-like grip, your glare more pointed now. “Touch me, and you can see some of it from behind your eyeballs.”

Blondie whistled lowly, relaxing his arm. “You’re tough, huh? I like that in a girl.”

You dropped his wrist and rolled your eyes. “Still gonna like it when I’m ripping your balls off?”

You could swear he was swooning on his feet. “Baby, you are a goddamn tease...”

“Oy, Dickhead!” An Australian voice rang out, “back off!”

His grin faltered for a moment, obvious disappointment flashing over his face. “Oh. Got a man already. Damn.”

“Who, Boomer?” You grinned, unclipping your mask as you turned to wave at one of your only friends. “Nah, I’d never fuck that wanker.”

“I heard that!” The gold-toothed Aussie yelled.

You let out a loud laugh as you looked back to blondie.

You were caught off guard by the actual, genuine look on his face. He was admiring your smile now that your mask was off, his eyes lingering on your lips for a fraction of a second longer than they should have. He was trying to be smooth, you could tell, and most people wouldn’t have noticed something so slight...but you were an assassin working your way through a couple life sentences, and you weren’t most people.

It all only lasted a moment before the cocky grin was back. “So, after this, you wanna come back to my cell, maybe we could, you know...” he waggled his eyebrows at you, making a hip thrusting motion you almost couldn’t believe a grown criminal was making.

“Maybe focus on not dying first, slim.” You patted his chest before turning towards Boomer, leaving blondie to stare after you—or more precisely, your ass—with a dramatic, longing look.

Your friend was regarding you with an amused expression. “Flirtin’ on the job? Didn’t think you had it in ya.”

“Shut up.” You punched his arm a little too hard and he winced. “Who is that guy, anyway?”

“Dick,” Boomer said, rubbing his arm.

“Don’t call me a dick—“

“No, dumbass, that’s his name. Richard Hertz.”

“...very funny, Boomer, but there’s no fucking way his parents named their kid Dick Hertz.”

Boomer shrugged. “Believe me or don’t, I don’t care. Either way, it’s the truth.”

You scoffed and stole a glance over at your new admirer. He was tall and pretty well built, platinum blond hair short, lips pulled back in a grin that showed off straight white teeth. He was dressed in all black, two guns holstered to his chest, and as he messed with a Belle Reve guard by pretending to reach for one, he looked like an overgrown child who should not have been allowed to hold onto firearms.

“Please tell me he’s got a cooler name,” you groaned.

“Why? So you can scream it at night?” Boomer cackled. “He goes by Blackguard. He’s pretty strong from what I hear. Prolly pretty fun in bed, too.”

You wrinkled your nose and rounded on Boomer. “Shut up.”

“You like him.” Your friend grinned. “Don’t worry, your secret’s safe with me. Just remember to name your kid after good ol’ Uncle Boomer.”

You gave him a rough shove and he stumbled back a few steps, laughing like a madman the entire time.

“Hey!” One of the guards barked at you.

Rather than pushing your luck with your armed babysitters, you huffed and crossed your arms over your chest. More cars were pulling up, dropping off the rest of your comrades, and while Boomer was distracted with them, you stole another glance at Dick.

He was still messing with the same guard, and was receiving some harsh warning glares in the process. Was he a complete idiot, or was he so cocky because he could actually handle it? He had to have ended up in Belle Reve for a reason. It wasn’t the type of place you went to for innocent misdemeanors. And if he was chosen for a Suicide Squad mission, that meant that his sentence was long enough to warrant risking his life to lessen it...and it also meant that he was useful.

When he winked at you, you realized with a start that he had totally noticed the way you were checking him out.

Fuck.

“Time to load up!” A voice yelled, saving you from any further embarrassment.

A few minutes later, you were strapping yourself into your seat on the chopper, pretending not to notice as Dick struggled with his seatbelt across from you. The guy sitting next to him had to help, and when you finally couldn’t help yourself, you let out a quiet laugh from behind your mask.

Dick’s head shot up to look at you, that cocky grin plastered to his face again.

“Wish you were over here helpin’ me,” he said bravely. “Rather have your hands down by my—“

“Dick.” Colonel Flag warned as he stood above you all with his gun in his hands.

Boomer let out a loud laugh at the unintentionally dirty euphemism and you snorted.

“What? Just makin’ some conversation,” Blackguard said, leaning towards you with a wolfish glint in his eyes. “You don’t mind, do ya, Princess?”

Your cheeks were heating up behind your mask, and he could see the way your eyes crinkled slightly with your smile.

God, he wished he could see your smile again.

“Hey guys, sorry I’m late!” A familiar voice said. “Had to go number two.”

“...Good to know.” Flag sighed as none other than Harley Quinn herself hopped in.

“Harley!” You called, reaching for her with grabby hands as she looked for her seat.

“Hey there, baby!” The pale blonde woman greeted, slamming her equipment bag into Savant’s head. “Hey, Boomer!”

“What’re you doin’ back in prison, Harls?” Boomer asked, hanging onto the nylon mesh cage behind him as he stretched his arms out.

“Got road rage. In a bank.” She finally found a spot between you and Javelin, and as Flag checked everyone over, the chopper took off into the air.

The lighting was dim and red, the thrumming of the helicopter blades blending in with the white noise of the pressurized cabin. Save for that, it was quiet for a while, everybody either sizing each other up, or, in Dick’s case, imagining how you looked under your suit.

“So, uh...how much longer you in for?” He asked you.

You raised an eyebrow. “Why?”

“Because I don’t exactly think I should be talkin’ about sneakin’ into your cell while Flag is here to rat me out about it,” Dick grinned.

You caught the colonel rolling his eyes.

“Hey, that never stopped anybody,” Harley said brightly.

“Boutta be in a whole big ass jungle,” Boomer elbowed you in the side. “Plentya room in there to be alone.”

You groaned as Dick gave you a sly grin.

“Y’know, this mission’ll be over in no time.” He said, stretching his arms out behind his head. “I’ve got some wicked ass powers. I got this.”

“Oh yeah?” You asked, recognizing the way he was trying to peacock and impress you. “Not worried about anything?”

“Baby, I’ll carry this whole team. Just you watch.”

“I’m looking forward to it, Dick.” You bit his name out as more of an insult, but he didn’t seem to care, giving you another wink.

He obviously thought that his flirting and posturing was working...but you were pretty sure he was just annoying. Cute, but annoying. Maybe good for a hook up here or there...but that was about it.

“We’re in a butcher’s freezer, Harls!” Boomer called from the other end of the bench. “Surrounded by dead hogs hangin’ on hooks. Only they don’t know it yet.”

“Leave ‘em alone, Boomer!” She called back with a laugh.

You chuckled at your friends, leaning your head back as you settled in for the flight. Harley was complimenting Javelin’s accent, you still didn’t know what TDK stood for, and Boomer was just starting to mess with him about the fact that all names were made of letters when the freaky weasel-thing next to Dick stole everyone’s attention.

It was one of the strangest creatures you had ever seen. Human height, covered in mangy brown fur, with big bulging eyes and a mouth full of sharp little teeth all made it both fascinating and concerning to look at, and as it made a few disgustingly wet retching sounds, Dick nodded towards it.

“Yo, is this a dog?” He asked.

“...What?” You asked in disbelief. He had to be fucking with you, right? There was no way he meant it.

“Is this thing a dog?” He repeated.

“A...a dog?”

“Yes.”

“What...what kinda dog do you think it is, mate?” Boomer asked.

“I dunno, I’m not familiar with all the breeds.” Dick gave him an incredulous look.

“I’m gonna go with Afghan hound.” TDK said.

“Since when does an afghan hound have bloody thumbs?”

“Oh my god, is it a werewolf?” Harley asked excitedly. “I’ve wanted to meet a werewolf for ever!”

Dick was already up and struggling against his restraints. “Yo, they sat me next to a werewolf?!”

“That’s not right,” TDK agreed as his neighbor slammed into him in his desperate attempt at an escape.

Boomer was laughing loudly, and you couldn’t help but join in. “You’re seriously scared of werewolves?”

Dick glanced up at you as he tried to unbuckle his seatbelt. “Yes, I fuckin’ am! So fuckin’—get me out! I do not fuck with werewolves, there is no fuckin’ way—“

“Maybe you should hop onto your new girlfriend’s lap!” Boomer cackled, jabbing a finger towards you.

“Poor baby,” you cooed, and as you saw the look in Blackguard’s eyes, you were pretty convinced that he was about to try to tear his way out so that he actually could.

“Hey, hey, he’s not a werewolf!” Flag yelled over the commotion. “He’s a weasel, he’s harmless! I mean, he’s not harmless, he’s killed 27 children, but I—I think we got him to—I think he’s agreed to this, so relax.”

“Thought you were super tough?” You asked as Dick calmed down and caught his breath. “Gonna carry the whole team?”

Rather than the snarky flirtation you expected, he actually looked a bit defeated. When you raised an eyebrow, though, he took the prompt, and the most desperate backtracking you had ever seen began.

“Yeah, well...” he scoffed, trying to give you a cool look. “Caught me off guard, that’s all. No big deal.”

“Off guard? Isn’t guard, like, in your name?” You teased, your smile genuine behind your mask. Alright...he was winning you over now. He was an idiot, but...maybe he was a lovable one.

He faltered for a second. “I-I mean, yeah, well...”

Flag was shaking his head. “Get into position to drop!”

Everyone unbuckled themselves and collected their things, lining up to jump into the ocean off the coast of Corto Maltese. When you saw that Dick was back to struggling with it, again, you smiled to yourself and leaned down in front of him.

“For what it’s worth...” you said as you pulled up on the metal tab, your hand dangerously close to his crotch, “I wouldn’t mind shacking up somewhere in the jungle with you.”

He stated at you with wide eyes, disbelief written all over his face. He really was cuter when he wasn’t putting on such a dumb, cocky facade, and he jumped up as quickly as he could to follow you.

You just laughed as you straightened up and walked away, Blackguard right on your heels. As the door opened and the big, dark ocean came into view below you, you felt a hand brushing against your hip and a firm chest press up against your back. You realized you could have stayed right there forever, patiently waiting to see how far he was brave enough to go...but you were both members of the Suicide Squad, and you had a job to do.

“I’ll see you down there, Dick,” you said, turning your head slightly to glance at him.

“See you on the other side, baby,” he grinned.

[littlekidsteve]

To lay him to rest.

(This was requested)

Jason Todd x antiheroine!reader. (Past Rick Flag x reader)

Word-1207

Warnings- violence, mentions of blood, past character death, gun uses, angst, the suicide squad spoilers, brief mention of alcohol.

A/n- this is dedicated to @sillysunshinesstuff who wanted to see some softer more human Jason Todd. This beta read so sorry for any grammar and spelling mistakes. Likes are always welcomed and reblogs are welcomed too (if you want to.)

There was nothing that filled your body with so much spite. So much hate.

Peacemaker. What a fucking name. A lie built on delusions of grandeur. A man warped by his own ideas of justice. A Stone cold murderer. Christopher smith was as good as dead and nothing was going to stop you from killing him.

News about ricks death got around fast. From The sweet rat girl to Harley, from Haley to you. Stabbed in the heart they said. Stabbed in the heart for trying to to the right thing. When he died he took a little bit of your soul with him.

You felt lonely.

You felt vengeful.

The night time air of the abandoned dock bites at your skin. The fight was taking too long- Something about Waller needing you in. she sent the wrong man to get you. Chris evaded everyone of your moves, he managed to slam you against an empty cargo box. You yelped in pain as you pushed him off you.

He grabbed you in a chokehold and squeezed your neck tight.

“Look, I can either bring you into waller dead or alive. Your choice.”

“I don’t care!” You jammed your elbow into his rib and he let you go. You growled as you lunged towards him.

You land A hard hit on the right side of his body knocking him to the floor with a hard grunt. You straddle his waist and continued your assault.

“This is for my love you sick bastard!” each word was punctuated with a strike to the face. Peacemaker started to cough up blood. A worried smirked graced his face only making you hit back harder.

“ I was only trying to do what was right.”

“No, " tears began to fall dampening your cheeks, ” you did as you were told with disregard to the lives you put at risk. You shouldn't be alive! You took him away from me!” you screamed in pain. Taking your gun from its holster you placed the barrel against his forehead.

“Goodbye peacemaker. Rot in hell.”

“(Y/N) No!”

You recognise that digitised voice from a mile away. You dragged Christopher by his neck, gripping it tight with the weapon still held to his skull.

“ step the fuck back Red hood." You spat.

“Don’t shoot hi-“ he didn’t get to finish his sentence.

“YOU FUCKING HYPOCRITE!” you point the gun a Jason then back at Christopher.

“Coming from the man who has a shoot first talk later policy. Tell me Red, how did it feel killing the joker?”

He went to open his mouth but he didn’t say anything so he shut it again.

“Exactly. He killed my love.”

“That wont bring him back though.”

“But how many more people will this man kill before he goes too far. I loved him Red. I loved rick and he stole him away. We were meant to settle down, have kids, grow old together but no.”

Memories flooded your mind.

it was a night like this one. The open bar was crowded and cramped but Jason and you had a place for yourself.

“Ok ok, what is Captain America really like?” Jason giggled with glee.

“Sam or Steve?” You asked.

“Sam Wilson.” He blushed. Really hard.

“He’s amazing and he would like you.” You giggle fondly at the mentioned of your captain.

It was rare to see Jason this relax- maybe it was the alcohol or maybe the conversation - either way It was rare that you both had a break at the same time.

No patrol, No missions just a night of dancing and endless shots.

Jason shook your shoulders erratically, ”Hey look Who it is."

Your head shot up. it was him.

Colonel Flag.

Jason introduced you to Colonel Flag a few months ago after being on a mission with the lesser known task force z.

Your first introduction was brief and professional, he only knew you as code name: Poison Oak , but as you met him your heart stopped in its place. You swore you’ve never met a man more handsome in your life. Tall, rugged, dark blue eyes. Everything about him screamed perfect.

Jason snapped you out of your train of thought, “Are you going to talk to him or undress him with your eyes?”

You rolled your eyes and pulled at the pale patch of his hair earning you a Yelp from Jason.

You waltz over to him with your cocktail in hand.

“Do you come here often Colonel Flag?”

“Well only after near death experiences Poison Oak.” He chuckled taking a swig of his own drink.

“It’s (Y/N).” You said quickly.

“Thats a pretty name for a pretty gal. Call me Rick.” He took your hand and gently placed a kiss on your knuckles.

Jason whooped and hollered. You both laughed.

“Lets go dancing sir.”

That was two years ago. Life changed for the both of you. From strength to strength. From every night of passion and love to every fight and tear shed. your love became stronger and stronger.

You went from mercenary to field agent, field agent to avenger. You even joined him on a few missions as Wallers go to hire.

He always joked that being an avenger must been boring if you joined the suicide squad willingly. But never once did he treat you differently. He treated you with love and respect. He was your equal and he was your love.

It never failed to make you smile.

The rain began to pour down. The pain hurts you greatly.

“ I miss him Red. It hurts so much." You cried.

Jason took of his helmet. His voice now soft and unmasked.

“I know, but shooting dick bag over there wont bring him back. Rick wouldn't want this for you. He wouldn't want to see you in pain. I don’t want to see you in pain.”

Christopher groaned out in agony.

“I used to kill for a living Red so why would I stop now?” Jason saw too much of himself in you. All his anger and all his grief. He loved you enough to not let you ruin the good thing you have now.

“Because your not that person any longer (Y/N). You’re an avenger. you do whats right. I know you can carry Rick’s legacy forward and i know He loved you to the very end. I have no doubts about it.”

He looked at you with regret. With tearful eyes.

“Please. Please come home.”

You dropped peacemakers body to the ground along with the gun and ran over to Jason and hugged him.

You began to sob uncontrollably as Jason held you close. Allowing a few stray tears to fall too. The rain baptised you, slowly washing away the blood and pain off your body.

Jason lulled you back and fourth as you cried.

After awhile you calmed down. You looked back at Peacemaker and with one last bit of spite you said, “count your days Chris.” And walk away.

You knew you couldn't bring your lover back. But as long as you had your friend you knew you could begin the process of mourning, of healing. hopefully, one day you can lay him to rest.

[chainofclovers]

Ted Lasso 2x10 thoughts

GOOD GOD.

“No Weddings and a Funeral” is like being hungover but also coming out of a hangover. Having a terrible cold but also feeling better and appreciating every breath that comes through your nose. Embarking on an organizational project and accidentally falling into a photo album and crying about the pictures and organizing almost nothing tangible but making a few things more clear in your brain.

So much of this episode is about the AWFUL POINTLESSNESS OF DECORUM. How loud is too loud when you’re drinking stolen wine and shrieking about sex in a church right before your father’s funeral? How should you feel--thirty years later, as an accommodating, anger-averse person--about having been too angry to attend the funeral for your father who killed himself? What expression should you make when you show up really late to a different funeral? Why must you wear uncomfortable shoes just because someone died? What happens in your mind between standing up to give a eulogy for a man you’re still angry with and choosing to Rick Roll your mom and everyone else as an act of complicated love, humiliatingly incomplete until someone else starts to sing? Should you worry about your therapist seeing your normally tidy flat in a full-on state of depression mess? Is it okay to be offended that your boyfriend is so uncomfortable about death that he can’t stop making morbid jokes? Should you care about other people caring that you’re crunching an apple in church or squealing with joy to be reunited with a friend you’ve not seen in awhile? Are you obligated to explain your behavior if your kid doesn’t understand how you could stay with someone unfaithful? How far behind the counter should you sink when your [undefined relationship person]’s mother has just let you know she can see your dick through your underwear? Is a funeral reception an okay place to find a hookup? Is a funeral reception a decent spot for a break-up? Is a funeral reception a good time for a love confession when you know the person you’re confessing to is happy with someone else? And who do you make eye contact with when you can’t look directly at the person asking you if you’re okay when there’s so, so much about you she doesn’t know yet? Even if--for this tiny little moment within a vast swath of many okay and not-okay moments--you’re honest when you tell her that you are?

I fucking adored this episode because it answers all these questions very simply: Show up. Show up for yourself. Show up for your friends. Try not to harm yourself. Try not to harm your friends.

I love that this episode is about the messiness of adulthood and the things we bring with us from childhood and that it takes place partially in Rebecca’s childhood bedroom, and in Ted’s childhood memories. Dwelling in those places (whether physically or mentally) isn’t an automatic recipe for regression, but it does get everyone closer to the things that made them who they are, to the unresolved and half-buried parts of them that still make them tick today.

Forever obsessed with every single detail about Rebecca’s childhood bedroom.

Forever obsessed with Deborah’s decision to Rick Roll herself every single morning of her life.

Forever obsessed with Rebecca’s decision to Rick Roll her father’s funeral as a way to not have to make up a single word about her father and to do something very vulnerable and kind for herself and her mother and everyone.

Forever obsessed with Ted’s decision to Rick Roll Rebecca Rick Rolling her father’s funeral.

Forever obsessed with an entire found family backing it up.

I love that it is Isaac’s leadership that ensures every single member of the team attends the service for Paul.

I am very, very interested in Jamie’s love confession to Keeley because I do think it will spark some reflection in Keeley but I do not think it’ll go the cliched love triangle route.

Each scene with Rebecca and Sam struck (for me, a human being sharing a subjective perspective on the internet) the tender-awkward-beautiful-stressful chord I was hoping it would. I think it’s wonderful that Sam is honest with Rebecca about how difficult it is to keep their relationship a secret, and I love that Rebecca has a million mostly-unarticulated reasons for why she’d much prefer the secret to continue. I like that Sassy, Keeley, and Nora respond to the revelation as friends; they might be tempering their judgments in part because they’ve all gathered to bury Rebecca’s dad, but I don’t think their reactions would’ve been that different even on a happier occasion.

While there are a million and one different reasons why a continued relationship between Rebecca and Sam could cause serious ethical problems, I really love that when people share big news on this show, the people who care about them generally react by trying to see why the person is doing what they’re doing. Doesn’t mean they shouldn’t also hold each other accountable, but in my book it’s OK that Keeley’s first reaction was to feel happy that her friend is having some fun.

Also everyone has been making weird judgment calls this season, and this episode felt like a moment of real breakthroughs in terms of people telling the truth about things that happened to them and leaving themselves open to honest responses from others.

September 13, 1991. It’s so tenderly, beautifully, overwhelmingly meaningful that there’s still so much Ted and Rebecca don’t know about the things they have in common in these parallel lives they’re leading. The scene between Sarah Niles and Jason Sudeikis is so beautifully acted, and so is the scene between Hannah Waddingham and Harriet Walter. The way they intertwine to communicate that Ted and Rebecca basically lost the ability to trust their fathers simultaneously, from an ocean away? In the hands of lesser storytellers, it would feel too perfect a mirroring, but here it feels heartbreakingly imperfect. All the things they still don’t know. All the questions they try to ask each other. All the things they don’t dare ask yet. And then the storytellers are holding a candle up to all of it and letting the audience bask in the glow of this connection even if Ted and Rebecca can’t fully understand it yet.

I am so proud that Rebecca and Deborah were able to embark on the beginnings of a conversation about the ways Deborah and Paul’s relationship might have resembled or not resembled Rebecca and Rupert’s. It feels possible that they could get to a point where Rebecca truly internalizes her mother’s pride that she broke a cycle by leaving Rupert, and could maybe even understand why her mother made the choices she made. I love that in the final scene, they’re still relying on their old mother-daughter conversational patterns—the frustrations, the snippy shorthand, the passive-aggression. Mothers and daughters!

I am also proud that Ted—albeit via a joke about Sharon charging him for the house call—indicates that he understands the value of Sharon’s work. He’s changed a lot, all in realistic ways for someone who loves learning and really does want to meet people where they are and appreciate them. I’m very moved that instead of putting himself in a real harmful situation by showing up to the funeral on time at any cost, he did what he needed to do to take care of himself and accept care from someone else. And then Sharon’s suggestion that he think about things he loved about his father? And the way he’s able to share a positive memory of Rebecca’s own father at a time when she really needed it? Gosh.

Awkward, undecorous transition from 1991 to present-day incoming...but SASSY! She’s just, like, a whirling dervish of loyal friendship and not giving a fuck and penis size discussions and being casually, delightfully cruel to Rupert, who so deserves it. Rebecca was going on a real face journey when Sassy goes off with Ted at the end, and I’m sort of *eyes emoji* about all of that, but I continue to feel like Sassy is the most imperfectly wonderful friend-from-the-past kind of person and I love everything she and Nora get to do in this episode.

Keeley saying “That baby is whack” might be my favorite line in the episode? Maybe the whole show? Not really but really.

FUCK YOU, RUPERT. Bex and Diane, y’all are fine. And I truly feel for Nate...whatever scheme he’s getting suckered into. Whatever insecurity Rupert is preying on. I want Nate to go to therapy, too.

I feel like it was an unpopular opinion at the time, but I loved Rebecca’s 2x1 revelation about vulnerability and fear of getting hurt and needing to let someone love her. Sassy doesn’t always word things in the most nuanced way, but I think there’s a real possibility that she did ask Rebecca to really consider what it means to feel either safe or unsafe with a person but to know that in either circumstance, that person could end up causing her pain. Standing in that closet with Sam, managing to make it clear that she’s not asking for a break because she knows he will hurt her but because she has to figure out how to be with a wonderful person who could cause her pain...the growth, man. Makes me emotional.

I emerged from this episode feeling, of course, stunned by all the amazing parallels and revelations and beautiful acting and Rick Rolls and just, everything. I also emerged feeling sad/raw/tender because messiness and decorum and growth and coping mechanisms and death and dramatic irony and not knowing things about people and not knowing what you don’t know...it’s a sad, raw, tender place to be.

To quote a guy who got a whole sitcom (lol) named after him, life is real hard.