#and I didn't even get into the BIGGER gods

[steddieasitgoes]

Eddie helps Jeff and Grant move into their freshman college dorms. Eddie's not going to college; it took him six years to graduate high school. He's not about to put more time and now money into a dead-end education, but he respects the guys' decision.

They're upset the university's stupid roommate questionare didn't pair them together. They answered everything exactly the same, and yet they still got split up. It's bullshit. Eddie knows it, they know it, everyone knows it. But it is what it is. Jeff doesn't want to make waves with the school, and Grant's just happy they accepted his sorry ass, so they'll have to live with it.

Jeff, Gareth, and Grant are currently figuring out how they're going to smuggle a microwave into Grant's room. Eddie leaves them to it, already holding a box marked for Jeff in his hands. He saunters out of the elevator and down the hall toward Jeff's room, nodding his head at anyone who does the same to him.

College is weird, he thinks. No one has sneered at him -- not even the frat dude bro type who checked Jeff and Grant in earlier. Maybe it's true what they say, college is full of open-minded people. He'll let the boys be the guinea pig on that one.

Jeff's door is half shut when he gets there, which is weird because he knows they left it wide open. They still have to bring in his record collection, and even though he ditched hundreds at home, the box is still way heavier than it should be. Having to put it down to open the door is a no go.

Thankfully, the box Eddie is carrying now is rather light so he turns and uses what little ass he has to bump the door open before sliding inside.

He stops dead in his tracks as Jeff's roommate turns to meet his gaze.

Eddie doesn't believe in God, doesn't believe in angels -- he likes to think Demons exist, but that's more of an aesthetic thing than anything else -- but he's pretty sure he's in the presence of an angel.

No, he's certain he is.

The large window between the beds shoots rays of sunshine through the horizontal blinds, painting the guy in beautiful shades of yellow and orange. And jesus h. christ the shadow gives off the illusion of a halo around his gorgeous, lush, perfectly styled hair.

He's wearing a sweater -- how he's wearing a sweater in the sweltering heat, Eddie doesn't know, but he is -- with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. Eddie can't help but let his eyes take in the miles and miles of sun-kissed skin, unmarked with ink like his own but decorated with freckles and moles that Eddie wants to trace, connecting them like constellations he spent decades staring at on the roof of the trailer back at home. And, okay, maybe a few other unholy thoughts also pop into his head -- sue him.

He has to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing at that. Of course Eddie's first thought upon stumbling on an angel is to wreck them.

"Hey, I'm Steve," the man says, extending a hand out to Eddie.

Jesus H. Christ, it's bigger than any hand has any right to be. Eddie's mind immediately wonders what else might be bigger than most. He can't help it.

"You must be Jeff," he smiles. "It's nice to finally meet you."

"Yep, that's me!" Eddie says without thinking it through. He scrambles to put the box down and reaches out to shake Steve's hand.

It's a firm handshake, what Wayne would call "business-like," but it sends a burst of electricity coursing through Eddie's body. It's silly, really silly, but Eddie doesn't think his hand has ever fit so perfectly in someone else's before.

Maybe they're soulmates. He doesn't believe in those either, but he could if this Steve guys is his.

Steve smiles and drops his hand a second later and Eddie tries his best not to buckle under the loss of touch.

"What do you think of the place?" Steve says. His hands shoot to his waist, settling there as he gives the room a bitchy glance over. "It's a lot smaller than I was expecting."

"At least it's only a double," Eddie says. "My friend's stuck in a triple."

Poor Grant. As if losing out on rooming with Jeff isn't enough, he really got fucked.

Steve whistles lowly. "Damn, man, that sucks."

He squats then, digging through an already unopened box, and Eddie feels faint. His jeans were already tight, but with his new angle, they're stretched to the max, leaving very, very, very little to be imagined. And Eddie has no problem imagining anything, much less what the skin under those pale blue jeans looks like.

Steve's shirt rides up a bit as he leans over more, really sifting through the box now, and the tiny sliver of skin above the waistband of his boxers is enough to send Eddie into full-blown gremlin mode.

Maybe he should have applied to college.

"So, Jeff," Steve says, standing again and glancing between the two beds.

Neither has seemed to claim them yet. Jeff -- the real Jeff -- didn't want to be rude, and judging by the single box Steve's been looking through, he's only just started the move-in process.

"Got any bed preferences?"

Sharing it with you.

No, no! he scolds himself.

"Nope, have at it," Eddie says, casting his arms out wide and bending at the waist. He's not sure why he's done it, but by the time he registers how weird it might be, it's too late. So he commits to the bit, and it's worth it when Steve chuckles.

"Cool, cool," he nods. "I'll take this one, then." Steve shuffles over to the bed farthest from the door and tests the firmness with his hand. It gives just enough to make Steve smile. "I can work with this, if you know what I mean."

Eddie thinks he's really gone and died then because Steve honest to god winks at him.

Winks!

At. Him.

Eddie!

What the fuck.

"Yeah," he croaks, a little awkward and a whole lot aroused. He needs to get out of here before he jumps Jeff's roommate and accidentally gets him kicked out. Better yet, he needs to figure out how to get enrolled and kick Jeff out of his room himself. "Alright, well, I've got more shit to bring up, so I'll be back."

"I'll be here."

Eddie nods then bolts, ditching the elevator altogether and taking the three flights of stairs two at a time. Jeff's still arguing with boys when he gets down there, sweaty and out-of-breath.

"Jesus, what happened to you?" Gareth snaps.

"Oh no," Jeff winces. "Is my roommate a dick? Did he chase you out?"

"No," Eddie pants, shaking his head widly. He reaches out with both hands and slams them down on Jeff's shoulders way harder than he needs to. "Your roommate, Steve-- he's-- I think I'm in love."

The guys burst into laughter.

"Here we go again," Gareth says, rolling his eyes.

"You just met the guy," Grant adds. "How could you possibly be in love?"

"You can't be in love with my roommate," Jeff scolds, shaking Eddie's hand off of him.

"Jeff, Jefferson, Jeffery," Eddie rambles. "I am in love. He is the man I am going to marry. The one who will father my children. The one to tame this wild horse--"

"You've slept with two dudes, Eddie. I don't think that makes you a wild horse," Gareth scoffs.

Eddie ignores him. He doesn't have time to deal with Gareth. Not when Steve is upstairs waiting for him.

"I need to go back to him."

Eddie moves to step around the three, eager to grab another box with Jeff's name on it and get back to Steve. Back to the love of his life. But Jeff blocks him.

"No. No. Absolutely not," Jeff says, reeling Eddie back in. "I have to live with this guy for a year. You are not going back up there and making it weird."

"Well then I have good news for you," Eddie says, wicked grin already breaking out onto his face.

"This can't be good," Grant mumbles.

"You don't even have to go up there. He thinks I'm Jeff."

"Okay, but you're not Jeff," the real Jeff says, crossing his arms. "I'm Jeff and I'm going to go to my room and introduce myself to my roommate and you're going to stay far, far, far away from him."

Eddie shakes his head. "You can't do that! He'll think I'm a liar."

"You are a liar," Gareth butts in.

"Eddie," Jeff groans. "I have to go up there! I live here. I'm Jeff. He needs to know the truth."

"Or, or!" Eddie shouts, full of frantic energy now. He's bouncing on the balls of his feet, mind reeling a million miles an hour as the plan starts to form in his head. This could work. It could totally work. "How about I pretend to be you for the next year and you can be me."

"Dude, no!" Jeff scoffs. "I worked my ass of to get here. I'm not trading lives with you so you can try to fuck my roommate."

"Oh, I won't have to try," Eddie says. "He might have already offered."

"Oh my god. My roommate thinks I want to fuck him."

"Your roommate doesn't even know you exist," Grant corrects.

"What were you thinking?" Jeff shouts.

"He clearly wasn't thinking with his head," Gareth says.

"This is a disaster."

"No," Eddie says, shaking his head. He doesn't know why they're being so catastrophic about this. It's fine. It's all going to be fine. "Okay, new plan, I'll pretend to be you but only in your dorm. You can still go to class and do all the college shit. I'll only be Jeff to Steve."

"And where am I supposed to live?"

"With Grant."

"Asshole! I'm already in a triple! We can't house another person."

"And you're not even enrolled!" Jeff adds. "What happens when the RA finds out? I'll get kicked out and you'll--"

"Go to jail."

Eddie rolls his eyes. "I don't think people go to jail for impersonating college students, Gare."

"They might!" Gareth says, throwing his hands up. "Are you really going to risk going to jail just for a chance at fucking Jeff's roommate?"

"Well, I hope it would be more than fucking. I did say I was in love."

Gareth doesn't get it. The only thing he's ever loved is his drum set -- and he can't marry that. Not even in bumfuck Indiana.

He goes back to ignoring Gareth and focuses on Jeff. He braces his hand on his shoulders again and slinks down to his knees. He's not above begging. Not for this. Not for the angel that is Steve who is probably wondering where he is right now.

"Jeff," Eddie says, hitting the pavement. He retracts his hands from Jeff's shoulders and clasps them together in prayer. He's making a scene.

"Get up, you're making a scene," Jeff hisses, yanking him back to his feet. Eddie goes willingly and Jeff huffs. "Alright, alright. Let me think."

"You can't seriously be considering this," Grant chimes in. "Eddie's plan is shit. It'll never work."

"I know that!"

Eddie watches as Jeff paces in a circle with his eyes closed. If he wanted to, he could bolt right now. Grab a box and make a run for it. Lock himself and Steve in the room and not come out until he's sure Jeff won't rat him out. Holding Steve hostage might not be the best impression to give Steve though, so he stays put.

"Okay, how about this," Jeff says and Eddie gives him his undivided attention. "The two of us are going to go back to my dorm and we're going to set the record straight--"

"No! That's--"

"Eddie," Jeff says, firmly. "If you really do love my roommate or well, you want to eventually love him. You have to tell him the truth."

Jeff's right. He's always right that's why he's going to college on a scholarship and Eddie's not. But he doesn't like it. Steve's going to think he's a total weirdo and he'll never get a chance to see what's actually under those tight ass pants.

Still, Jeff's right.

"Fine."

Steve really is an angel because he doesn't even bat an eye at the truth. He does laugh, but Eddie doesn't mind that. He wishes he had his cassette recorder and a mic so he could record it. It's music to his damn ears, and he knows a thing or two about music.

Jeff and Steve hit it off and Eddie tries not to pout about it as he continues lugging in box after box. When Eddie's van is finally empty, Grant and Gareth meet up with them in Jeff's room. Steve introduces himself and Eddie can tell they're both silently judging him.

Yes, this is the dude he would risk going to jail for, Gareth. Eddie thinks, he hopes Gareth gets the message in the glare he shoots his way. He thinks he does.

It turns out Steve also has a best friend who just moved in, too. She's in a different building than them, but he's meeting up with her for pizza at the parlor down the street. He invites them all to go and Eddie says yes on behalf of all of them a little to quickly.

When they get there, Steve introduces them all -- Jeff, Gareth, Grant. He gets all their names right, even Gareth, but when he gets to Eddie, he smirks. "And this," he says, smiling as he slings an arm around Eddie's shoulder. "This is not-Jeff my not-roommate."

"Hi, Not Jeff," Robin says.

Eddie laughs and introduces himself to her with his real name and Robin nods before her eyes lock on with Steve. He can tell they're non-verbally communicating with each other. It's not unlike the way he is with the boys. One look is all it takes sometimes for them to know what he's thinking.

It's weird watching it happen from the outside and especially difficult when he's still stuck under Steve's arm. Not that he minds that part not at all.

Finally, her lips quirk up into a smile and she pulls her gaze from Steve, letting it land on Eddie. At the exact same time, Steve's name gets called and he excuses himself to get pizza, leaving the two of them alone.

Robin's smile falters just a bit as she takes a step closer to him, replacing the spot where Steve just was. "Just so you know, I'm obsessed with Murder, She Wrote. If you hurt him, I know where to hide your body."

Eddie doesn't have time to even think of a retort before she's scampering off to help Steve with the pizzas.

He might not be enrolled in college, but he has a strange feeling he's going to spend a lot of time up here from now on.

[dingo-ate-my-hot-lettuce-crazy]

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author's note: heyyy, this is my lil try at the event in the supernatural writer's community, my tags will be at the bottom of the page for acknowledgements! <3 also someone please tell me if i did this wrong i have not done events at all i hope this is ok...ALSO i wrote this as dean from preseries all the way to season 1 and 2 in mind, but really you can imagine it to any ofc

summary: falling in love with dean is more than just a couple of flirtatious comments and winks. love takes time and vulnerability. and the more you read into the little moments, the more severely you fall in love with him.

pairings: dean x reader

characters: dean, sam, bobby

word count: 4.8K

warnings: cursing, disgusting fluff

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there was this beautiful change you've noticed over the years with dean. he's still the same person you've been falling in love with, but he becomes more and more human to you, you realized.

before this gradual revelation, you admit, you viewed him as what he presented himself as, which was the "ladies man" or "sex god", as he would refer to himself (and you denied it when he claimed it so, even though all you could think about was putting it to the test). he plays into his tough facade, this macho-man exterior. and you can attest, he is a masculine guy. he's chivalrous, but he still finds ways to be 'a man' about it. he holds doors open for almost any woman he sees, but he makes a bigger deal about it if it's you he's opening it for, of course.

-+-+-+-

"i'm not hating on ac/dc. i like their 'sound', but every song sounds the same." you argued.

"they do not. their 'sound' is consistent. that doesn't mean they sound the exact same. that's like saying to you that every britney spears song sounds the exact same." he rebuttled with a feigned anger.

"i never said 'exact' same-" you tried to finish your thought as your hand reached the gas station door handle before you were roughly pulled away from it, as dean's hand wrapped on your bicep. he had yanked you behind him, not even looking back, as he cut in front of you to open the door and gave you a shit-eating grin as you stepped through the entrance. "jesus christ." you had incredulously eyed him at his aggressive chivalry, to which he just smirked and followed you inside.

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he gives you jackets anytime you’re cold- more so shoving it over you at the shiver he sees. he pretends to be annoyed at you too, but secretly, he wants to do it. he yearns to. he wants you to ask, but he knows you're also too stubborn to ask for anything.

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"oh, jesus." you hissed, walking out of the diner as dean held the door open for you, the harsh New England winter breeze licking your skin.

"what?" dean's head turned to you.

"nothing- just almost fell. didn't see the step." you lied. you couldn't tell dean you were cold...he told you to bring a jacket before you left the motel.

a moment passes before dean's gaze falls to your exposed arms that now had goosebumps trailing along them, and you heard him scoff, "i swear- didn't i tell you?" and he was already stripping himself of his leather jacket, hanging it on your shoulders as you both continued to walk.

"dean-" you protested.

"take it."

and he meant to sound as bothered as he did, but behind you, it was getting harder to control the swell in his stomach that he got when he saw you in his clothes.

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you are simply not allowed to get hungry around him. he won't let it happen. no matter how much you tell him that you're not hungry, or that you'll eat later- he hardly takes no for an answer.

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"hey." dean tried to get your attention from the motel bed, as you were diligently researching at the table across from him. "yoo-hoo..."

you were zoned in on the lore book you were reading while the rest of the world was dead to you. that was until a pencil almost lobotomized you. it smacked against the wall and bounced onto the page you were reading, causing you to flinch, before you whipped your head to dean. "do you mind?"

"no, not at all." he shakes his head, unbothered by your irritated demeanor. "i'm gonna get food from the Chinese place down the road, what do you want?"

you waved your hand before turning back to the book, "nothing for me, thanks."

he raised a brow at you, standing up from the bed and putting on his shoes, "no Chinese? i can grab a pizza instead..."

"no, go get Chinese. just don't worry about me, i'm still full from lunch."

dean stood up, just looking at you as your attention was still on the book. he's angry, but it's an anger he can't explain or vocalize to you. he can't stand when you don't feed yourself, or don't take care of yourself. and he's well aware he does it too, but that doesn't matter, it's you we're talking about. you need to eat. you need to live. so he leaves with a curt, "fine, i'll be back in a bit."

and about forty-five minutes later, he wordlessly strolled back in the motel room, and plopped a plastic container with your typical take-out order and a side of spring rolls on the table next to your book. you bit your cheek, trying to make eye contact with him, but he knew you would try to give him some excuse not to eat, so he ignored your stare, and sat down on the bed to go to town on his own food.

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he pays for any of the road snacks he gets you, takes care of your car if it needs oil or repairs, hardly let's you go anywhere alone, and will watch your drink at the bar like a hawk. he's a protector, and a gentleman, and he likes to be viewed as one. it was what he felt he was made for. and he especially loved protecting you. and he didn't think you needed protecting. it made him want to all the more. he knew you could easily take care of yourself- you made that known. you're clearly self-sufficient on hunts, independent, and you hardly ever asked for anything from dean. that's why he loved being the one to protect and be there for you. it was an honor for him.

now...

that doesn't mean he was always "that guy" around you.

you treasured the moments he let go in front of you, or with you. as time went on, and as you fell harder for him, these moments seemed to really stick out to you.

it takes a painfully long time for dean to be comfortable around someone. completely, anyway. he can joke around, and he can express his concern for people, and he'll provide acts of service to those around him. while it all means that he is maintaining connections, it's not the same as being internally comfortable. being truly relaxed in front of people was harder for dean. with you he was, and it meant that he could be his true self. one of those moments was when he realized that he could talk about anything with you, and you would listen- really, listen. he didn't even know how much he appreciated it in the moment, but he knew he felt so connected with you. and you, well... you can't help but just listen to him.

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"...and it was considered a Chevelle at the time, when the Impala was just a Chevrolet. but, it was a B-body, so it was bigger than the Malibu, and way sturdier. anyways, they marketed the Malibu as a family-car back then, even though it's an A-body, and it could've easily sold as a sportier model instead with all the modifications they offered. i mean, the thing was a V8, and they didn't intend to advertise it as something classier than a family-car? with how lean that thing was?"

dean watched a documentary about Chevys in the 60's last night at the motel before going to sleep. he had many opinions on the information that he had caught up on.

"i mean, it's no Camero. which they were talkin’ bout…y’know they built that beast from scratch? the first model of the Camero in ‘66- well, it was a ‘67 but they made it in ‘66… it was from scratch. another reason why Chevy beats Ford any day- because Ford based their F-body on their previous car, the Falcon- then they made Mustangs from that model.”

the two of you were walking back from an interview you conducted about fifteen minutes ago. he had been talking about cars and Chevys and everything in between since he saw a Monte Carlo parked on the street near the interviewees’ residence. it was honestly the most excited you had seen him in a long time… just letting him ramble. and when you asked a question (because you inevitably had to when it started to sound like he was speaking a foreign language), he explained it to you happily, and with no connotations that you weren’t as knowledgeable as he was about the topic. when he explained, he’s really trying to teach you- not like a mechanic who’s telling you how to switch gears…dean wanted you to understand so you could respond with the same level of knowledge. and you couldn’t help but just let him do it. you wouldn’t retain any of this information, in fact, you were still confused, but you just wanted to let him speak about his interest. you don’t even recall hearing him talk about anything this in depth.

you lovingly watched his facial expressions as he chatted with a boyish enthusiasm, and you hadn't even realize you were smiling at him until he matched yours slightly, with a questioning grin, ”what?”

you shook off your starstruck gaze, and recovered quickly, “no, nothing…just, Mustangs aren’t cool anymore?”

he opens his mouth, his face tightening as he finds the right words to convey his opinion, “no, I mean...they’re ok. but,” he scoffs, “they’re just like toy cars, compared to Chevy. they aren’t durable. you run a Mustang over a speed bump too fast and it’ll fold up like a lawn chair, i swear-”

you giggle, soaking in everything he wants to say, and he just gleamed for the first time in a long time as he kept your ears hostage. it was the least you could ever do for him.

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you had a feeling your connection was mutual after some time, thankfully. there were little mannerisms or hints here and there that you would remind yourself of in case you started to lose hope in a future with him. the chivalry you would write off as just dean being dean, but this comfortability he projected was for you specifically.

he couldn’t leave you alone. not just out of the whole protection thing either, but he just was drawn to your presence. even if you didn’t talk, he wanted to just be next to you.

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you raised the eyeliner to your waterline in the reflection of the mirror, lightly drawing it on when you heard the motel door open.

“turns out all three victims were on the same community baseball team. the last victim,” he elaborated as he eventually made his way to lean against the bathroom door frame, “was a coach before. this is the third victim with any relation to the team, even though he wasn't actively coaching-" his face twisted into a grimace of concern as his eyes landed on you, "why are you putting a crayon in your eye."

you maintained your focus, proceeding to the other eye, "it's not in my eye. the waterline...is just really...close." your speech broke apart with your focus. you leaned back from the mirror as you fingered through your makeup bag for a couple other small touch-up items. "alright, so when are you taking me out to the ball game, winchester?"

he glances to his watch, "their practice starts in three hours."

"buy me some peanuts and cracker jacks?" you turned to him playfully.

"only if you promise not to care if we ever get back." he pointed a taunting finger in your direction.

you smirked as he completed your reference, and you put the eyeliner back in the bag. "sounds good, but in the meantime, i need to pick up a new formal outfit or two. i figure we're going as reporters? i need to find new blouses...one has this bloodstain from our last hunt and it just won't come out. i was gonna go take a walk down by the goodwill, it's two blocks down."

dean shrugged, "i'll drive you."

you were grateful for the offer and assured him anyway, "i can walk. no point in just driving me two minutes."

"i can just go with you."

you faced dean at his suggestion, and tried to analyze his expression. he didn't seemed annoyed by the prospect of going with you to shop. "you sure? i don't know how long i'll be."

he shrugged again, "as long as we make back for the practice, it doesn't really matter."

you ran your teeth over your bottom lip, trying to bite your growing smile away. "alright, give me ten minutes then."

"'kay." and that would've been dean's cue to go watch the tv, or get the car started...but he stayed leaning against the entrance, putting his hands in his jean pockets, his eyes aimlessly wandering. he inhaled, as he mindlessly watched your makeup routine.

"you wanna sit down?" you offered cheekily, pulling out concealer.

he pursed his lips, as he thought about it and ultimately decided to, but what you didn't expect was him to sit on the closed toilet seat lid and stay in the bathroom with you. you let out a small huff of laughter, that thankfully he didn't pick up on, as he drew a carefully hand into your makeup bag. he was quiet, reading through all the products you used. he went as far as opening some of the bottles, curiously examining your products. he would make comments about the hunt or about something relevant here and there, but really, he was just there to be with you. he finally stopped rummaging through your makeup with a disgruntled shove at the bag, glaring confusedly at it as he muttered, "you really don't need that much."

you chuckled, appreciating his sentiment as zipped up the bag, gesturing for him to follow you as you left the bathroom to head to the impala.

and his need to in your near vicinity didn't end there.

once you were in the goodwill, you had assumed he would find a men's section to look through, but he trailed right behind you like a puppy dog. you had a decency to show him some of the clothing pieces you were looking at, a penny for his thoughts. and while he wouldn't give you true dictations of your fashion choices, he did offer comments along the lines of "that's nice" or "it's okay". but he obviously wasn't here because he wanted to talk fashion with you, although, if you wanted to, you know he would try to his best to keep up.

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it even got to the point where sam started to pick up on dean's sense of trust and vulnerability around you. which didn't surprise him at all after he got to know you. in fact, he adored you too, as a sibling. he was glad to see dean have a bond with someone at the same level as he was. and sam knew that there was something blossoming, but he would only lightly tease, he didn't want to scare you off with the idea, god forbid it wasn't ready to happen yet. but, he could tell that you loved him. and sam could without a doubt, tell that dean loved you.

there's a psychological tell when it comes to subconscious love. they say when you get tired around certain people, whether you know it or not, you feel safer around them.

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it was a rather tranquil afternoon in yet another motel room, sam had dragged a chair over to face the tv while you and dean shared a queen bed, even though there were two of them in the room. the hunt from the previous day, or should you say, that morning, had run until about 5am, and you had begged the boys to just lounge until the evening, knowing they wanted to take off into the next hunt soon. they can't say no to you, so they opted to relax for a couple of hours to recuperate. dean lied with his arms folded across his chest, his head dipping lower into the pillows by the minute, as you sat just a bit higher than him, with one knee drawn in.

on the pathetic motel tv, Scream from '96 played as sam was still clacking on his laptop, searching for new hunts. you had been making a few jesting remarks towards the movie, and sam would raise a baffled brow.

"all i'm saying is, if he didn't kill me, and just hauntingly threatened me over the phone, i would be turned on by ghostface."

sam blinked at his computer screen, "you are all kinds of weird." he looked over his shoulder to find you deviously smiling, and did a double-take in your direction as he looked from dean to you, and he dropped his jaw a bit, "did he fall asleep?"

you craned your head down slightly to see dean's eyed now closed, breathing slow and relaxed, and his head even fell closer to where your arm was next to him. you pouted your lips at him slightly, smiling after, "he did."

sam scoffed, shaking his head, "he never takes naps when anyone is with him. he hardly naps when it's just me and him... he won't even with dad, and definitely not other people." he mused.

you blew him off, butterflies frantically flying in your stomach, "oh, i'm sure he's just tired from that hunt. we didn't get in til the early morning."

"yeah, but, dean has run on days without sleep. he could've stayed awake if he wanted to, even if he only got a couple of hours. it's just...funny, i guess." he meant "funny" as in "wow, i can't believe my brother who is always on guard from everyone, can finally let it down around someone".

you glanced to dean with an enamored smile once more, this time lingering a bit, as you listened to his deep breaths, and light snores, "we can leave after he's up. i'd feel horrible waking him now."

sam nodded, turning back to the tv, and he even lowered the volume some. even he felt more relaxed, knowing just how much dean was able to be comfortable around you. he grinned to himself, happy for his brother, and for you. his grin grew into an open smile when he turned around twenty minutes later to find you asleep as well, sunken down completely into the bed, and your head inches away from dean's shoulder. he grabbed a picture on his phone, and made a mental note to show this to you and dean when you both get out of your own heads.

-+-+-+-

while you knew you were definitely a special person in his life, this relationship did confuse you more often than not. he couldn't muster up the words to ask you out, or be his partner, but he had the audacity to be all touchy-feely with you in front of bobby.. and of course, if sam could see through you both, bobby could in a heartbeat. the only difference between sam and bobby, is that bobby wanted to just take dean by the shirt and shake him til he scrambled out the words "i love her". bobby saw their love right in front of them. but he knew better than to intervene, though he was okay with shamelessly hinting it towards you and dean when the other wasn't in ear shot.

-+-+-+-

you and the boys had been dealing with a hunt about two hours west of Sioux Falls, but dean had practically forced you to just help with research, and to stay behind at bobby's while your ankle healed from a recent sprain. bobby was no help in this case, insisting he could use the help around the house, but since it's been the two of you, all he's asked you to do was to go find a two beers in the fridge. and one of them wasn't even for him. he asked you to drink so you would, and quote, "stop wearin' a hole in the floor" and relax while they were gone.

though you did help bobby figure out how to change the hdmi on the tv.

sometime around 11:30pm, your cell had started ringing in your pocket as you woke from the siesta you were taking on the couch. you fumbled for it groggily, opening the flip phone to answer it, "hello?"

"hey," sam winced as he said your name, already knowing that you're not going to like the contents of the call.

"everything ok?" you heard it all in his tone of voice.

"yes and no. i got off easy, but dean's got a concussion. not bad enough for the hospital, but bad enough to where he needs to be on bed rest for a week, at least. just uh, wanted to let you know." sam said distractedly, as you assumed he was the one driving, too.

"oh, shit. is he ok?" you breathed worriedly.

"he's fine, or at least will be fine, soon. but, he is asking for you...i don't know if he remembers that we left you at bobby's." sam mentions, tugging slightly at your heart strings.

"jesus, well- hurry home. i'll help take care of- it." you fumbled for words before the two of you hung up.

bobby had been awake still, and you informed him on the call as you both prepped the couch and sat idle for their return. you didn't think dean would be able to make it to the guest room up the stairs just yet, so for now the living room was dimmed and had water bottles stocked close by, and had a trash can for... well, just in case.

you were outside waiting before you even heard the rumbling engine pull up to the front of the house. the car had barely been in park before you raced to the backseat, where dean had been lying on his back, his eyes squeezed closed a bit, and his breath ragged and shallow, with a large, blood stain that had dripped from his left temple, and wherever gravity had taken it, which had been on a few patchy spots by his ear all the way to his jaw. poor baby. bobby and sam were the ones to lug him out, with a lot of moaning and groaning from all three of them, while you made sure to hold the door open, and bring in some of their duffels from the car.

dean was carefully eased onto the couch, his chest now rising with careful, calculated deep breaths, while blowing air out of his mouth. he had moved painfully slow as he laid down on his right side, his eyes shut tight.

you quietly sat the bags from the car by the entrance, hurriedly making your way to the couch, interrupting sam and dean's hushed conversation.

"stay down, man." sam whispered to his brother, keeping a light hand on dean's shoulder as he fidgeted.

"she wasn't in th'car, sam." dean croaked, eyes still closed as he dug half his head into the pillow.

you stuck your lips out in an exaggerated frown, bending at the knees next to dean, you cooed softly, "hey, crazy...what happened?"

he peered through squinting eyes, groaning slightly before answering, "mmm. hit m'head." aside from his visible pain, he actually looked like he sunk deeper into the couch when you made yourself known.

you run your hand over the blood matted on his hair, and your finger tips came back tinted. dean inhaled sharply at the touch, his eyes pinched shut again.

"sorry...sorry." you moved your hand away, grimacing. you turned to behind you, "bobby, could you-"

"already on it." bobby eyed you two before walking to the kitchen, and returning with a bowl of water and a rag.

sam rubs his forehead, addressing you and bobby, "he threw up on the way here once...but that was about fifteen minutes after the hunt. he's been ok since...just, dizzy, nauseous, and a bit confused."

"if he throws up again tonight, ya might wanna consider takin' him in." bobby exhales, "otherwise, seems like he's all in one piece." bobby deduced.

as sam and bobby conversed, you had moved to sit at the edge of the couch by dean's torso, while you gingerly cleaned his head up. he would mumble incoherently in the pillow when you got close to the opening of the cut, but risked moving himself carefully so you were within is sight. "where were you?" he rasped.

"i was here the whole time, i swear. you know where you are?" you looked to him with care, checking his battered memory.

he opened one eye for a moment before everything started to spin again, "bobby's."

"yeah. good... we're at bobby's." you nodded, and internally sighed of relief.

sam sank into the loveseat a couple feet away, keeping near in case things started to take a turn for the worse, but he was well aware he could leave him with you while he got some rest. you were more than capable of keeping watch over him, and tending to him. it was just for sam's own satisfaction to see that he was alright, after being a bit startled by the initial injury.

you finished with wiping down his hair, brushing your fingers through the dampened spots on his head before pulling your hand away. he moaned at the immediate absence of your touch.

"sorry, i'm done, i promise." you soothed as you set the rag and bowl away from the couch.

"no," dean grumbled, "felt good...yr'hand."

oh.

you hesitantly brought your hand back to his head, just barely brushing the fingertips through his disheveled hair, avoiding his wound. dean sighed heavily, the pained lines in his brows slowly returning back to their resting state.

a sweet tightness wrapped around your heart. you kept up with the motion for an hour or two, even though you knew after a couple of minutes he had already passed out. sam started to crash too, falling asleep in the chair with his head propped up by the heel of his hand.

bobby had treaded in from downstairs after a while, walking over to sam, patting him awake, basically demanding him to go to the guestroom to properly rest. when he walked over to you, he caught on to what you're doing, and shook his head with a slight smile. before he could comment, you defended yourself, "he asked me to do this."

"mhm. how long has he been 'sleep for?" bobby smirked.

you couldn't deny the care for the young man, "a while."

bobby nods his head to the stairs, "why don't you and i take shifts... you go get some hours in, and i'll wake him up in a few to make sure doofus here still remembers he's in love with you."

you reddened at his statement, gaping your mouth slightly at his bluntness, "bobby-"

"get some rest, kiddo. he'll be alright." bobby echoed, warmly.

you sighed, looking to dean one last time for the night. you tried to stand up, but felt a tug on your shirt, accompanied by a pitiful, "no."

dean had curled a fist into your shirt, keeping you sitting next to him, as he kept his eyes closed still. you could hardly tell if he was lucid. you exchanged glances with bobby, before shrugging it off, "i got him, bobby. just make my coffee strong in the morning."

bobby frustratingly teased you before starting back upstairs, "you kids..."

you turned your gaze back down to dean, still holding your shirt in his hand. bravely, you took his hand and unraveled it from the fabric and just held it. dean blinked his eyes open carefully, risking a tender glance at you, "hey," he attempted to smirk.

"hey, you." you casted him concerned smile. "how's your head?"

"mmm...still hurts." he whinged. he gave you a once over, "where's the nurse-maid outfit?"

you rolled your eyes, brushing a thumb against his hand in your grasp. "bobby's trying it on now."

he groaned into the pillow, this time less out of throbbing pain but out of disgust, "this is not the heaven i imagined."

you huffed a quiet laugh, watching him almost squirm uncomfortably at the thought. "yeah, well...you aren't dead yet, mister."

"coulda fooled me...i've got an angel in front of me." he flattered.

you shake your head, turning away from him, but not yet letting go of his hand. "you're delirious."

"this is the most 'with it' i've been all night." he counters, huskily.

and once again, you are left in a buzzed, romantic silence. you couldn’t even find it in you to look at him, otherwise you might’ve just professed your love for him. "you should rest."

dean's eyelids fall closed gently, "staying?"

by then you turn back to him, "i can."

"you should."

your lips turn upwards, as he peeked through one eye, waiting for a response. "i shall." and you felt a squeeze back in your hand.

-+-+-+-

and some days you do think to yourself, "god, is he ever going to tell me he loves me?" some days you wonder if this is all a big game, or test. but it occurs to you in moments like these, that it's exactly what he's doing. he just screamed "i love you" from the top of his lungs, and you heard it. it would mean nothing to a lot of people, but you understand, and it means the world and then some to you. and he got it right back. he understands, too.

-+-+-+-

tags: MOODBOARD BY @ash-muses , @chevroletdean & Supernatural Writer's Community

[saanphoenix]

I offer an idea. A potential. As someone who has played every single game multiple times.

The Blight.

In Veilguard, the writers have taken into consideration the blight. Which is housed primarily in the Black City, which is in the Fade, but also sort of Not in the Fade.

If one were to rip the Veil off, like a Band-Aid, which WOULD cause mass destruction and casualties, as Solas says this in both Trespasser AND Veilguard, it now becomes much easier for the Blight to leech out.

That is a much bigger problem than Oops! All Demons.

The Caretaker will tell you, when asked, that the Crossroads shares a connection To Everything. The Fade runs through it. Dreams and magic. And if the Crossroads were Blighted as the gods are trying to do, it would infect Everything.

Doing the Regrets quests allows you to ask, "Is it possible to heal the Blight?" And that line of questioning gets Emmrich and Davrin discussing the possibility of returning the dreams of the Titans, but that they must be healed first, because if you didn't then you would destroy the world with a bunch of angry, Blighted Titans.

If you do the Atonement Ending, Solas tells you he can't kill the Blight, but he can work to calm it. He sees a way forward.

All evidence points that the Veil did not come down in this game because the Blight needs to be cured first. And then it can come down. Preferably with a better ritual. And then we could even, possibly, put the Titans back together again.

....

But, now that damn near the entire writing team has been let go, who the hell knows.

When people new to DA say things like "I didn't play any of the previous games before I played Veilguard" that's fine, but to then turn around and say "well, because Veilguard says [lore thing] that means everything in the previous games is false" makes you look willfully ignorant at best and [redacted] at worst. Veilguard did not do a good job with three games of established lore. New players apparently came out of datv not knowing what a Circle is, for crying out loud???

People who wanted to see the Veil removed have a basis for the belief that it might usher in a new age for Thedas that could ultimately make things better for elves, mages, and spirits. Or at least change the world in an interesting, exciting way. That basis was given to us by the first three games. For example:

Flemeth

"We stand upon the precipice of change. The world fears the inevitable plummet into the abyss. Watch for that moment . . . and when it comes, do not hesitate to leap. It is only when you fall that you learn whether you can fly." (DA2)

PC: "Why did Mythal come to you?"

Flemeth: "For a reckoning that will shake the very heavens."

Morrigan: "And you follow her whims? Do you even know what she truly is?"

Flemeth: "You seek to preserve the powers that were, but to what end? It is because I taught you, girl, because things happened that were never meant to happen. She was betrayed as I was betrayed--as the world was betrayed! Mythal clawed and crawled her way through the ages to me, and I will see her avenged!" (DAI)

Sandal's Prophecy

"One day the magic will come back, all of it. Everyone will be just like they were. The shadows will part and the skies will open wide. When he rises, everyone will see." (DA2)

Cole

"The Veil isn’t real. It’s false, fake, fabricated to forbid. Isn’t it wonderful?"

"Cole: Is there a way to save more spirits, Solas?

Solas: Not until the Veil is healed. The rifts draw spirits through, and the shock makes demons of them.

Cole: Pushing through makes you be yourself. You can hold onto the you.

Cole: Being pulled through means you don't have enough you. You become what batters you, bruises your being.

Solas: Yes, exactly. Deliberately crossing the Veil requires that a spirit form will, personality.

Solas: That concept of self gives a spirit the chance to maintain its nature.

Solas: Wrenched into this world unwillingly by the rifts, spirits suffer the same fate as my friend.

Cole: Then we will help them." (DAI)

Morrigan

"Change is coming to the world. Many fear chance and will fight it with every fiber of their being. But sometimes change is what they need most. Sometimes change is what sets them free." (DAO: Witch Hunt)

"Mankind blunders through this world, crushing what it does not understand: elves, dragons, magic . . . the list is endless. We must stem the tide, or be left with nothing more than the mundane. This I know to be true." (DAI)

I haven't even touched on what Solas says, due to his bias/the way some people refuse to consider his insight at all, even though he knows the most about the Veil of any character in the series ever. For obvious reasons.

Due to the above evidence, I completely agree that the Veil coming down would probably be catastrophic to some degree. I disagree that it would have "destroyed the world" or "drowned [it] in demons" as Veilguard loves to repeat over and over, mostly from characters like Varric who don't know jack about the Veil, magic, or spirits. And I disagree that people who wanted to see what would happen if the Veil came down are wrong or misguided--they obviously just paid better attention to what the overarching narrative than some. It isn't their fault that this more interesting and dynamic narrative was retconned to shreds and buried in the backyard.

[dragon-ascent]

I really liked your writing about Zhongli! I love the way you wrote him and described him in such detail and elegance! Can I give you a little headcannon that's running around in my head?

hc:

after many years of marriage, reader got pregnant. at first they didn't realize it and when reader kept feeling dizzy and nauseous, they would say that it was because they were exhausted from work. of course that made zhongli as a husband become worried about his beloved spouse.

as the two of them looked up at the night sky sprinkled with stars and there was a large moon. reader suddenly squinted to focus their eyes.

why are there two moons? they looked at Zhongli who also looked at them.

"Why is there two moons?

Zhongli paused, then looked at the moon and reader in turn. He was getting more and more worried about his beloved, so Zhongli led them into the house and he stayed up all night.

as the pregnancy started to develop, Zhongli was getting more and more worried, so he asked Xianyun to come to his house to check the reader.

Zhongli waited in front of their bedroom door, he walked back and forth in worry. When Xianyun came out from inside the room, he went straight to him and asked about his beloved's condition.

And Xianyun just smiled a little, crossing her arms together.

“A new seed of life begins to grow within them which will continue to grow until it grows bigger.”

Zhongli's golden eyes rounded, that meant...? Zhongli felt happy but at the other side he also felt anxious. Would he be able to be a good father?

Would his beloved be okay when they gave birth to their half-immortal child? Would their child have dragon horns, dragon scales, or a dragon tail?

A thousand thousand questions kept haunting his head, but he quickly dismissed them all. No matter what happened, he would continue to stand by his beloved and their unborn child.

Sorry if my writing is messy, I can't really write in detail T_T but I hope you like it!

-🎀 anon

Aaaaaa what a beautiful headcanon, THANK YOU for sharing!!! This is so sweet and wonderfully-written, don't doubt yourself!!

Zhongli is gonna be a dada awwww!! I just know he'd make a GREAT dad :] he'd care for the child and likely stay by the cradle all day, instantly on high alert whenever the baby twitches even the tiniest bit. The baby would likely have some dragon features, and their eye and hair colour would be the same as Zhongli's partner. Ultimately the baby would grow up to be the apple of papa's eye, if you ask me!

And thus the old god has started a family to call his own~

Aaaaa I love this sm and thank you again!!!

[royal-danger]

cw warning: gore, violence Your secret admirer who always sneaks little gifts like chocolate, little plushies, money, expensive perfumes etc. into your locker.. though he doesn't seem to understand why you would give your friends the stuff instead, even if you didn't like it you should have just threw it away its not meant for them.

Your secret admirer who follows you all the way home to make sure you get there safe, what if some weirdo just popped out of nowhere and tried to do something bad to you?

Your secret admirer whose day doesn't feel complete without seeing you pass by the hallways at least once..just once

Your secret admirer who gets a part-time job just so he can keep buying you gifts that you constantly give away (he's waiting for the day you finally like something he gives you)

Your Secret admirer who convinces your bully to go down a dark alleyway with him before strangling him to death all while singing praises about you to him

Your Secret admirer who always lurking, watching and stalking your every move while imaging himself as your very own bodyguard

Your Secret admirer who sneaks into your house and watches you sleep and imaging all the things he could do to you but doesn’t

Your Secret admirer Who always tries to ask you on a date every time you are alone and every time

Your Secret admirer who almost jumps up from behind the bush he was hiding in after seeing you finally accept one of his little gifts

Your Secret admirer who wonders what he's gonna do to your bully body (he can't just keep it in the basement forever)

Your Secret admirer who puts a big gift box at your door. What could it be a humongous teddy bear, a TV or something even bigger and better? Your heart races with excitement as you slowly drag the heavy box into your house before grabbing a pair of scissors to tear open the big surprise pondering just what was in this box you tear it open and just slightly peek inside

“OH MY GOD!!” you screamed

In the box, there were limbs, blood and guts with a familiar head, placed on it was a note

“I hope you like this gift too!”

——————

Hope you guys liked its not proofread so there might be mistakes here and there :(

[itz-pandora]

:/

Well I was bedridden like all morning bc of cramps and because I couldn't get up to make sure my sister was awake, she's mad at me for her missing school (I called her like 4 different times trying to wake her up but I couldn't GET UP) and now she's blaming ME for her missing school and she might miss watching a band concert because of me and I'm like. GIRL. I am NOT responsible for YOU.

Sure, we make sure each other is up sometimes but today I COULDN'T GET UP TO WAKE HER UP. WHEN IT'S NOT MY JOB TO! The situations have been reversed before, where she stayed home and I overslept, but I wasn't a condescending petty bitch about it and I didn't blame her! I was like "oh, my bad, I need to get to ask someone to drive me to school" and I did! I didn't just skip school while being all petty about it.

This girl is a whole ass adult, a whole 18, she's a senior in highschool and she blames me for feeling like shit because I couldn't get up to wake her up?? Like, girl, OWN UP???

She won't even plan extra for her oversleeping???? Like, she misses her alarm so often, while I do it like, half or less of the time she does. She doesn't set extra alarms and she refuses to use anything else than her phone. I'm like GIRL YOU KNOW THIS IS AN ISSUE SO SWALLOW YOUR PRIDE AND SET MORE ALARMS for the love of God this girl can't solve her own problems. LIKE SHUT UP WITH YOUR "I might miss the wind ensemble" while looking at me with that condescending ass smile SHUT THE FUCK UP and you wonder why I'm always on edge around your bitch ass. "You need to get medicated for your anger" YOU need to quit being such an infuriating person! But if I said that then I'd be the bad guy so I just bite my tongue and leave you alone. It's not like I have outbursts or anything, I'm just. Mad. Like, visibly mad, but I'm literally not hurting anyone or anything. I make so many accomodations for this girl but I feel like the asshole if I'd even ask for one. What the fuck.

I'm sick of needing to be the bigger person for a girl that's a year and a half older than me. Sometimes it feels like she only loves me as far enough as I'm useful or entertaining to her. Ugh

I don't hate her, I don't think she's an awful person, but FUCK this girl is in an echo chamber of her own creation and puts herself on a pedestal for it and it drives me nuts

She doesn't realize how genuinely she fucked me up too. She doesn't know how much of my self esteem issues are caused from her. She fucked up my social skills so severely that I automatically assume everyone hates me or is better off without me. I assume everyone else had better friends than me (which is right because I'm so introverted and shy because of her). I only really have somewhere between 2-7 people I consider friends irl and I barely talk to them outside of school. The closest irl person I have is my other sister and she's really my best friend. I've gotten to the point where if I don't talk to someone for long enough, I assume they don't like me or think I'm annoying, and it's so scary because I feel like I can't talk to anyone. It's so isolating, and I'm like 90% sure is stemmed from my sister who's pissing me off stealing my friends form me in elementary school to the point they'd rather hang out with her over me. I used to run to some corner and cry my eyes out because I felt so unloved by any friends around me. When I told her about it, she sounded sympathetic, but never changed her behavior. My mom and dad had to tell her to bring me over to my friends houses if she wanted to go so I wouldn't feel left out, and in retrospect that's so humiliating.

Whatever I just needed to vent.

I'm so sorry for this, I just needed to type something out.

[beef-brisket]

Adam has been home for hours, and he was still in his work clothes. Since seeing those beautiful sun flowers Charlie and Lucifer brought him, he's been drawing up plans for his garden.

How couldn't he plan his garden around them their absolutely gorgeous, and they are even more special because of Lucifer and Charlie.

He smiled, thinking of Lucifer.

Adam: Oh god...

Adam buried his head in his hands when he felt his heart flutter at the thought of him. He can't start crushing on him- not again. He remembered the embarrassment of confessing to Eve. What a shot in the heart that was.

And besides, Lucifer's hurt. He's recovering from a horrible relationship, even after all these years. He definitely wouldn't want to get in another one... especially with Adam of all people.

Adam: Fuck- You're an idiot Adam... always falling for people that do nice shit for you... what a fucking loser...

Shutting his book, Adam walked to his kitchen and turned his stove on. He should make some dinner.

Thank god it's the weekend tomorrow. He can finally finished unpacking then get on to his garden.

Looking up, Adam smiled when he saw Lucifer moving around his house.

He's... adorable.

Groaning, Adam leaned against his bench and put his head in his hands. He fucking hates feelings.

-

Flicking through pages of one of the plant booklets Charlie brought home, Lucifer hummed at the different plants.

This is making him want to get out in the garden. But, maybe the backyard. Away from the road. That's a good idea.

Maybe he could plant some sunflowers, too. The small ones, though.

Looking out the window, Lucifer was shocked to see it was nighttime already. Where did the day go?

He did his routine, was shutting and locking all of the windows and shutting the curtains. But when he got to the front door, he heard a soft knock.

Slowly opening it, he smiled when he saw Adam.

Lucifer: Evening, Adam.

Adam: Hey, Lu! I uh- sorry I didn't come round earlier- I wanted to thank you and Charlie, but the day got away on me- oh! I brought you a few things!

Lucifer chuckled when Adam knelt down and picked something up.

Adam: So- because you helped my garden- with the best flower ever in my opinion- I wanted to return the favor! So, this is a begonia- it's good for hanging pots- or window pots. I wanted to get you something that you didn't have to go out of your comfort to care for. And-.

Lucifer grabbed the pot and smiled at the little sapling. He has no idea what a begonia is, but it sounds beautiful.

Adam: I-I made too much dinner again- I swear I'm not doing this on purpose! I'm just... my eyes are way bigger than my stomach.

Adam handed Lucifer another container of food, and the blonde could already smell it. His mouth was watering so much.

Adam: It's a ramen kinda thing. A poor man's ramen.

Lucifer chuckled: Sounds delicious.

Adam: Oh- and you can hold onto the container you'd like, I'm sorry that I made you leave your place to give it back- I didn't even think.

Lucifer: It's... it's okay, Adam. It was a good push... actually.

Adam: A push? I don't want to push you, Lu- oh god. I'm sorry. Fucking idiot- you hold onto it, okay? I'll grab it next time I bother you. I'm sure I'll bring you more food at some point.

Lucifer wanted to laugh at how much Adam was panicking. Did he always look so ridiculous when he panicked? Surely not.

After forcing some of Charlie's cookies on Adam, they waved goodbye to each other, and Lucifer started his routine all over again.

Snuggling into bed, he turned on the TV and started eating the food Adam brought.

He's never had ramen before, but he couldn't believe how good it was. Or maybe it was good because Adam cooked it.

Glancing at the windowsill, Lucifer smiled at the small pot plant Adam gave him. It's a nice way to flex his green thumb after all these years.

Lucifer: ...How sweet...

Trapped Heart

@beef-brisket

⚠️This deals with Agoraphobia, anxiety, depression, and mentions of domestic abuse ⚠️

-

Adam: Well that's the last of them.

He looked around his new home and smiled, this place was so much better than his last home and a third of the price too.

They were practically giving it away.

There was his lawn mower that was on the truck still.

Adam went out to put it in the garage when he noticed his neighbor, a short blonde man getting his mail from his box. He was better looking than his last neighbor.

Adam waved: Hey!

Lucifer jumped as he grasped his mail, he looked over and saw a handsome brunette standing in the driveway across the road smiling and waving.

Lucifer: O-Oh, hi!

Adam: Names Adam, I just moved in.

Lucifer: N-nice to meet you! I'm Lucifer, I hope you like it here.

He wanted to be polite and welcome his new neighbor right, but he could already feel the cold tendrils of anxiety start to slowly crawl through his skin trying to wrap around him like a vice grip.

How long has he been outside? His heart started to beat a little hard with each moment he's not back in his home. He could die! He's not safe he needs to get back!

Adam: Yeah me too.

By the looks of it he already likes what he sees.

Lucifer nodded, he could feel the tremors starting in his hands the palms getting sweaty.

He needs to go.

Lucifer: I-It was nice to meet you Adam! B-But I need to get going.

Adam: Oh okay, maybe we can hang out sometime?

Lucifer gave a tight smile: Y-yeah.

He waved again to be polite and tried not to run back to his house, his therapist said it was good for him to be out as long as he could stand it.

Pushing himself a little each day. Today him reached his limit.

Once his front door was closed and locked behind relief washed over him, he's safe now nothing can hurt him. He hugged his mail to his chest, he needed to sit down.

Lucifer went over and placed everything on the coffee table. He tried to remember his breathing exercises.

Adam seemed very nice, maybe he'll send Charlie over when she comes to give him a proper greeting.

-

Adam tilted his head as he watched his new neighbor go into his home, if he didn't know any better he would say the man was panicked. Did he do something? He knows his personality can be a little brash at times but he thought he was being polite.

A man that lived beside him came out for his mail as well.

Adam: Hi! Umm, I'm new here.

Alastor: Oh hello! I'm Alastor, I guess that makes us neighbors.

Adam chuckled: Guess so. Umm, if I may ask, is the man that lives there okay? I didn't intend to upset him.

Alastor looked over at Lucifer's home and rolled his eyes.

Alastor: Getting the mail was he? Don't worry about it that man's afraid of his own shadow. I wouldn't waste my time, he never leaves his house.

Well that sounded a little dramatic.

Adam: What?

Alastor leaned on the fence: Oh yeah, Mr. Morgenstern over there never leaves his house. Rumor has it that his wife used to beat the fuck out of him in the home but it was worse when they were in public. Apparently she'd just humiliate him and others would join in making things worse. He was never free of her but at least in the home he could be alone.

Adam was horrified to hear that: Dude, the fuck, is that true?

Alastor shrugged: Not sure. All I know that is true is she left him nearly 8 years ago and he's become some kind of hermit that never leaves the damn house. His daughter Charlie, sweet girl you'll likely meet her, comes over from time to time.

Adam looked over at Lucifer's house, that couldn't all be true right? Maybe some was and the rest is telephone gossip extras?

Him and Alastor parted ways, he had to put everything away in his house. All the while his mind kept going back to the handsome neighbor across the way.

[bonefall]

So, your Clear Sky post is absolutely horrifying, but it was very needed, so thank you. What are your general thoughts on tackling his abuse for the AU? Like you've said, pretending he's a good guy is not the way to go, but are you planning on toning down *some* of the situations, just to give some of the cats a break? Clear Sky is a very realistic depiction of abusers, but that seems to come across even without victim number 25, yknow? I'm very curious about how you'd like to go about this.

My most recent big change was bringing Slash back into the fold, because I realized that it was actually a disservice to not address where DOTC's themes dip into Colonialism. It's a hard topic, and I'm still trying to work out the details, but I realized it was important.

With how BB!DOTC is such a MASSIVE overhaul, to properly address abuse and the ways it impacts you, ableism and its violence, and xenophobia broadly, a huge reworking of Slash belonged here too. He's one of the greatest examples of how badly WC demonizes non-Clanborn cats. I shouldn't dance around it.

That's what I need to do with Skystar.

MANY of his victims have happier endings than canon, though. Bumble is one of the most famous, bumped up into a major character and directly responsible for the formation of ThunderClan. Bright Storm is taking most of Gray Wing's roles. Birch and Alder are getting examined, with either a father who wants his kids back or Milkweed as the mate of Misty.

A lot of people will die because of him, even more will be hurt, but I see BB!DOTC as a story about victims and survivors.

Others might grab POVs here and there, but as a response to canon which I feel is Clear Sky's story told in many parts, I center this rewrite around Thunder Storm. The path of kindness he marches down, with love and with anger, and the people he helps.

So BB!Star Flower...

Previously I was playing her as ENTIRELY just manipulating Clear Sky. She was loyal to One Eye and trying to get at Skystar to bleed him dry for 8 lives to sacrifice; but connected to Thunderstar over recognizing him as a victim who deserves her idea of justice. So, she offers Thunderstar the final kill, so her father will be grateful to him and he'll get power AND the death of his abuser.

(When Thunderstar looks upon Skystar, pathetic and neutralized down to one life, he thinks about the collateral damage that will descend upon the forest if he accepts the deal. He decides that he has found the line between Justice and Justification. Of course he wants the power to make his enemies cower, protect his people, and eliminate Clear Sky so he never threatens them again; that's not the problem.

He can still do these things. He wouldn't NEED the power of a war god to do so.

But if One Eye returns, he will be endlessly hungry, ruthlessly dedicated to revenge, and set out to devour the whole forest. Everything would get worse, and even more people he loves would die. It's where his desire to destroy a monster would lead to him BECOMING one.)

Even on its face, it was previously missing an element. There's a step between "Starf decides to bring One Eye back" and "Starf offers Thunderstar the final kill" that was bare. This is the piece that was missing-- That she, herself, is trying to reach out to the only person who's ever really understood her.

But more importantly... I do feel this topic belongs here, in BB!DOTC. Abuse is a MAJOR theme. SKYSTAR is a monster already. He's harmed two wives in BB (Bright Storm and Falling Cry) and played toxic games with all three kits (Thunder Storm, Pale Sky, Tiger Sky).

And I'd avoid Star Flower being abused... why? Because it's uncomfortable to confront the pattern that Clear Sky displays? That in-canon, he tries to cut all his victims into the same ideal shape, from Storm to Thunder to Star Flower? ...it should be uncomfortable. Everything that I described in Clear Sky Is A Monster is rooted in the same desire for control, power, and punishment most abusive people share, he just happens to be a severe example.

Yes. That includes how he treats his child and romantic partners. The parallels that are drawn between Starf and Thunder are there because he wants power in the form of obedience. Starf replaces the son as a narrative award for his "growth" of not killing random people anymore for a while.

A cookie cutter is an effective tool because IT ONLY MAKES ONE SHAPE.

You know what's more uncomfortable? Reading canon!DOTC and seeing someone who hurt you reflected almost perfectly in the character the writers think did nothing wrong. Because of "good intentions" that were not there.

I will say though, just to be clear; I don't see a purpose in being more than PG-13 about serious topics for this project. I promise none of my intentions have changed. Nothing will be more graphic or gorey than canon WC-- just more intentional.

I'm keeping the sacrifice because it's dope. No one is taking this from me. Girl Moment: Killed her awful husband 8 times to count as 8 sacrifices and offered the last life to her buddy as a show of good will. How else do you make friends outside of high school

But I know now that Star Flower NEEDS to keep the canon fact she has very little agency, UNTIL that moment she snaps.

She's sacrificing one abuser to try and bring back a bigger, badder one, because in spite of everything, her father One Eye always made her feel safe. Even though he promised her off to Skystar, and expected her to be willing to die for him. She's followed every command, every order, past the death of his mortal vessel.

The first, and only, selfish choice she's ever made was in reaching out to Thunderstar to offer him the power of her father.

Thunderstar's Justice is a story about a Thunder Storm at the pinnacle of his arc, how the survivors of his Clan are settling into the new normal after the carnage of The First Battle, how Skystar's arrogance brings a violent god to the Forest... and the connection Thunderstar makes with the daughter of a monster.

[empty-blog-for-lurking]

I wasn't able to talk about it because my internship went from 9 to 9 and i just got home..... But like y'all have no idea how much of a shitshow voting count today was. Nov 5 ass type of elections

[things-arent-what-they-seem66]

This...... Suddenly didn't feel right. If this beast used to be a person or even a god or demigod, Lucifer couldn't kill it.

Lucifer: I.....

He knew his father was waiting on him and he had been working hard to be able to finally join them up in heaven.

But not like this. Something was off.

Lucifer: I can't.

Carefully, he went over to the cowering gorgon, he tentatively reached out and stepped closer until his hand touched the scaly skin.

Those golden eyes looked at him, the pupils pinpricks with fear.

Maybe he was making a mistake letting this creature live, but something told him it was a bigger mistake to end its life.

Lucifer: Do you have a name?

Beast: Ad-Am

Lucifer: Adam? I'm Lucifer, I.... I shouldn't have come here, I'm sorry. Let me help you out of this okay?

Adam watched with a warily stare as Lucifer slowly worked the vines to help get them off of him.

He only relaxed a little when he felt no pain.

Once all the vines were off Lucifer backed away giving Adam some room.

Lucifer: I.... There's nothing I can do to help you is there?

✨️Demigod!Au✨️

@things-arent-what-they-seem66 @fanofstuff01

If you two are interested, this is based on an ask I got. I'll link it below encase anyone would like a refresher lol

(Btw, ima made Adam a little feral in the beginning. I hope that's all good 😝)

-

Lucifer had travelled far from his home. He was used to voyages that took him across vast lands and horizons. But, to travel the great ocean? That was new, even for the bravest hero of many legends.

Crewman: Captain! I see land!

The hero looked over the railing, and there he saw it, through the distant cloud and ocean mist, a land so green, it put his homeland to shame.

Lucifer: Very good, full speed ahead!

As the ship sailed towards its destination, Lucifer couldn't take his eyes off the shore. A few miles away, there's meant to be a cave home to oma deadly, monstrous creature. Something neither Lucifer nor other heroes and adventures had ever seen.

And rumour has it, anyone that entered its home, were never seen again.

It is a perfect challenge for someone like Lucifer, who is the son of one of the mightest gods. If he couldn't behead the beast, then no one could.

Before the ship was tied down, Lucifer jumped off and into the frigid water and made his way towards land.

Crewman: C-Captain?!

Lucifer waved him off and started searching for the beasts lair. It's said to never leave, so walking around like this should be safe. For the most part.

Climbing to the top of the bank, Lucifer was Abel to see for miles and miles. And as his eyes dragged along the coast line, he saw it.

A cave that looked like it was made by the earth splitting apart. Like a gash or a wound. The jagged rocks clashed with the lush green grass, the black sand.m and the blacker water.

Lucifer: That has to be it...

Once the ship was docked, Lucifer grabbed his weapons and told his crew to set up camp. He felt more comfortable doing this alone.

The walk was calm, and it helped Lucifer keep his head. Not that losing it was a risk, but he preferred to be in his right mind for when he saw the beast. Most would drive hero's and adventures mad just by laying their eyes on it.

And this one he was hunting was practically deadly. A gorgon. A creature cursed and shunned by the gods themselves. Abominations so rare, the gods demand their severed heads.

No one was entirely sure what a gorgon was or how they wronged the gods so badly that they were transformed into something so horrifying it was often beyond human comprehension. But Lucifer could handle it, being a demigod.

As the man started to descend the hill, he stopped as he noticed a long, large creature in the water, swimming into the caves mouth. It looked enormous, but it didn't make Lucifer nervous, I'm fact, it hardened his resolve.

Lucifer: There you are...

Once he reached the jagged mouth of the cave, he noticed large gouges in the rock. They looked like claw marks.

As he walked deeper, he reached where the water lapped at the sand.

And there he saw his second piece of evidence. Large drag marks in the sand.

Looking forward, he followed the cave as it went deeper and got darker. The place was eerily silent, surely something as large as what Lucifer saw would make a lot of noise.

The cave tunnel got narrower and narrower, eventually making Lucifer duck down. And what's where he saw the rock edges look worn down, and some were even broken. It must have been a tight squeeze for the beast, Lucifer was surprised it could even fit.

Finally, the cave opened up into an enormous chamber. It looked like an old, ruin temple dedicated to some unknown God. Water and light trickled down from the mossey cave roof, and even some birds flew towards the exit.

As Lucifer's eyes followed the sun rays, he spotted it.

A large snake tail hanging over the edge of a circular ruin covered in vines and flowers. It's dark, opalescent scales still dripped with ocean water.

Moving forward, Lucifer was too focused on the beast. He knocked a ceramic pot, sending it over the edge and smashing on the floor.

With inhuman speed, the beast shot up, and its golden eyes were directly on Lucifer.

The creature was shrouded in shadow, so he couldn't see its face, not that he wanted to.

Staying perfectly still, he didn't move until it lunched towards him, taking only five seconds to be close enough to attack.

It was then that Lucifer saw the fury in its horrid eyes. Its teeth unfurled from its mouth, and its claws were ready to attack Lucifer.

But the demigod was too quick. He was gone before the beast took a swing.

Lucifer managed to its track his and managed to hide in a small room of the temple ruin.

The creature screamed and hissed. It was a horrible noise that Lucifer was sure was making his ears bleed.

Beast: WhErE- ArE- yOu?!

Strange. It sounded vaguely human. Bit that was impossible.

Lucifer whispered: Must be a mimic... I'm going to need to keep my witts about be.

[panicattackattheeverything]

NononoNONONONONONOOOO (cruel_sisyphean_eight-shaped.floor)

[fagdykevash]

looking at the notes of that poll. god i wish that were me

[mossy-rot]

just had a very intense moment of trans joy bc i just realized like. This week im gonna go to work with short hair wearing my binder and im gonna walk in and my coworkers are gonna say "hey lucien" and i'll put on my trans flag pin and my he/they pin and im gonna introduce myself as lucien and holy shit. man. this is real. i can do things like this. will it always be pleasant? no, i still get misgendered by customers constantly. will I be able to go home like this? no, i'll have to change out of my binder as soon as i get home and hide my pins before i even start my car. but i get to go out and wear them in the first place. people still call me by my name despite knowing my deadname. people call me they instead of she when they don't know my pronouns. i have queer coworkers. I feel safe. the other shoe will drop eventually, but until then, i'm going to bask in what i have

[tbob-enthusiast]

I'm finally home !! :D

Don't worry !!! Your assumptions were valid, I don't talk much about my AU on Tumblr because it's so extensive and sorta convoluted and I don't wanna yap more than I already do 😭. But since you asked...

The general premise is that Bill's very last act was to create the Zodiac, ten champions who would take a "piece" of his power, a seed, upon his death. Therefore, all ten of the Zodiac (those who were alive at the time Bill died, plus the ones who hadn't even been born at the time) would be born with their symbol somewhere on their body, powers that matched their symbol, and immortality in the sense of "they heal as fast as a normal human, but if there's even a single cell of their original body remaining, they will eventually regenerate. And they still feel pain as normal. That's something lmao".

Bill's arrival in Gravity Falls set off a chain of events that eventually led to the war between, in essence, "the entire world VS. Gravity Falls and its demons". Arguably, the worst of it happened while Bill was still alive (many civilian casualties, including Wendy's mother and siblings, Tate and Emma May, and of course Greg Valentino) — he (LONG STORY) created the Dome to protect them.

The Dome is a really important part for me tbh. It's about the size of the "weirdness bubble" we see in canon, but it's meant to block off anyone who's not touched by Weirdness. So, any normies would be kept outside lmao.

The least terrible time was when Gideon and Pacifica (in their early twenties) pushed out the old human mayors (Preston and Priscilla) and created a throne for themselves, uniting all the creatures of Gravity Falls under a single rule. This allowed them to band together and fight back! Robbie was the first person to stand by their side and earned the title of General because of it, plus a few other reasons :]

Here's my favorite concept doodles of his General attire !! His hair can move like a fifth limb (thank you, Pacifica!) and that's why he liked it long. When he got captured by the other side, they shaved it all off >:( definitely just jealous of how pretty his hair was

Mason & Mabel were born outside the dome and later taken in by the government. That's why he and Robbie are mortal enemies — because they're ACTUALLY MORTAL ENEMIES AHDHAHSHS. They actively try to kill one another and I find that very entertaining because they're both very competent adults fighting for a cause they can't let down :] super fun.

So, in short:

- Gideon is King. He can look into other dimensions, notice patterns (like how the Zodiac are often the same ten people) and acts accordingly.

- Pacifica is Queen. She can modify any living thing and is therefore in charge of the food and natural resources, since they all live in a contained space and tensions were rising because every group of creatures were fighting for resources.

- Robbie is the General, in charge of the "military". They do not have real soldiers, because Robbie's power is to raise the undead. Those marked by the Bleeding Heart are more resistant, decay slower, can even "heal" if they consume food, and are all a part of a hivemind connected to Robbie. This means they know everything he does (fighting stances, battle strategy, general common sense like hiding/climbing/opening doors/operating machines and guns) and he knows everything they do (sees what they see, hears what they hear). Robbie could absolutely just send hordes ahead and watch from the safety of his home, but he grows really tense if he's cooped up for too long, and has already gotten used to the thrill of being out there !!

- Soos is considered a civilian, because nobody knows what his power does, not even him. The rudest people will tell him to his face that they don't need to respect the useless Zodiac, and though he often keeps a positive stance, he can't help but feel hurt that he can't help his friends nor his people at all...

- Wendy has left it all behind. She was about to turn 19 when she was last seen. All they know about her now is rumors of an outrageously powerful blizzard on top of some mountains higher up north ...

- Stanley Pines has gone missing when Robbie and Wendy were just teenagers. No one has any idea where he could've gone.

- Stanford Pines has gone missing a few months after his brother. He went on a mission outside the dome in hopes of finding the newborn Shooting Star and Pinetree, but he and his crew never returned.

- Fiddleford McGucket is a vegetable. He had once been the pinnacle of knowledge as the new All-Seeing Eye, but now his eyes are vacant and he cannot function on his own anymore. He spends his time in the Queen's quarters of the palace, and is visited by Pacifica almost every night. Not like he would recognize her anymore...

- Mabel Pines is an elite soldier who can modify inorganic mass; from objects to air to small warp holes from one place to another. She's dangerous, slippery, and has a tendency to leave bright pink explosions wherever she goes!

- Mason Pines is an elite soldier who cannot be affected by magic of any kind. He's an immovable object, a pillar of resilience, and can potentially nullify the magic of other magic-users. He spent a long time trying to figure out how to nullify the magic of the Dome (and once he did... oh boy.)

I have no idea where Hilda would fit in to all of this. Chronologically,

- Greg dies (and, I assume, Janice is pregnant with Hilda) when Robbie's 3

- Robbie grows up with Wendy, Tambry, "Thompson", Nate and "Lee". Hilda probably grew up with them, too!

- Everyone except the immortal Zodiacs die at 13 after they ended up on the wrong side of the dome. Wendy, Ice Pack, seems to be in a state of shock because she hardly reacts; whereas Robbie, Bleeding Heart, becomes as fragile as a live bomb 😭. He needs comfort half of the time and needs to be left alone the other half, but he's constantly switching when he wants one or the other. Not the best experience 😭.

^ this is when he first SH's.

- Wendy's father begins to train her and her friends. So they aren't weak anymore and don't let anyone else die. Hilda could've joined them, if she wanted to; but either way, both Robbie and Wendy trained under him for a good while.

- Wendy and Robbie stabilized after a while and things looked fine, for some time. Sure, the current mayors were kinda dickheads and food was becoming a problem (shit, they had to eat a gnome for dinner once. That was... Not great), and both uncle Stanley and Stanford disappeared, and professor Fiddleford went crazy, but hey! They were fine! Somewhat fine! That is, until Wendy's dad died. Natural causes, really, he died peacefully in his sleep. But that was the last straw for her, man.

- Robbie saw her for the last time then and there. Gravity Falls had the worst out-of-season blizzard they'd ever seen and Wendy was never seen again.

- This is usually about the time period where Robbie breaks down; where his s-icide attempts begin and he starts to genuinely lose himself, but. This time he has both a mother and a sister. He probably won't do it as often, but I don't doubt that he'll eventually break.

Man. The first time was supposed to have been the last. I mean, realistically, how many times can you actually kill yourself? Robbie was too busy dealing with the knife embedded into his chest to think about that at the time. And he was upset, upset that this didn't work, upset that he was making a mess and Mom and Hilda would be back anytime now, upset upset upset.

He realized he wouldn't be able to deal with it on his own, and he wasn't about to call his family to see him like this. So he looked over his contacts.

Mom and Hilda. No.

Fiddleford? Oh, he wishes.

Wendy?

...

Pacifica. Yeah, she was a classmate. Under Fiddleford's special class for "young gods" or whatever kind of freak they were supposed to be. She was a biology girl, right? She could help, probably?

So that's how their friendship started, man. Gideon was beside Pacifica at the time (plotting about their potential alliance... to take a "crown" to themselves...) and stuck with their old classmate as he called for help, "accident" after "accident", and it grew from there !!

But if Hilda had left ???? Before he could be invited to Pacifica and Gideon's plotting reunions ??? Then none of that would happen. He'd be too busy running after his sister to care at all, and suddenly Janice would be left in an empty house with none of her children and not even their bodies to bury :(

Oh man this is a LONG STORY as I said it was and AHDHAHHDA IT'S ONLY THE PROLOGUE 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀 CRYING

kinda hate it but I'ma drop this here

HILDA BUT IN @tbob-enthusiast's ZODIAC AU CUZ I LOWKEY LOVE IT

Hilda doesn't canonically have a zodiac j just thought it would be fun. Kinda hate the colors on this but WHATEVER.

Yapping under ze cut.

Hilda is the harbinger, the warning, of death and rebirth. She often appears in battlefields before the battle, a warning of what is to come. She's probably the most neutral on the war, choosing to rather stand as a neutral deity. Bias' cause... problems after all.

Her relationship with her brother is... strained . More so than in the canon. She's incredibly reclusive, always leaving as soon as he appears. She is only the warning, after all.

Her body is constantly dying and growing at the same time. Half of it rots, and the other thrives.

Despite her reclusiveness, she often provides safe havens for refuges from both sides in the places of war. After death, life always comes.

Idk silly idea

[inbabylontheywept]

i did wrestling in middle school. on one hand, i was actually quite good at it, which was nice. being good at any sport was a new achievement for me. on the other hand, i was bi, and i was trying very hard not to notice that i was bi, and getting folded into knots by very kind, very muscular dorks made that task somewhat difficult.

adding fire to the problem was that my parents and my grandparents wanted to watch my matches, because they were very proud that their Gangly Nerd Son was actually Sporting, and they wanted to cheer me on. which would've been sweet and all, but if there are four people you do not want there during a key part of your Burgeoning Sexual Awakening, it is your mom and your dad and your grandma and your grandpa.

right? i mean, imagine some guy's got your head in his armpit, and you're going you know, old sweat smells bad, but fresh sweat has a sort of and then you make eye contact with your grandpa in the stands and you remember you're swearing spandex so if you pop a boner people aren't just going to be able to see the outline, they're going to be able to count the veins, and the only way you will be able to restore your family's honor after that would be by moving to siberia and renouncing joy, forever. that, or lift your entire body up by your kneck then twist 180 degrees without paralyzing yourself.

it’s a lot of pressure, is what i’m saying.

still it did motivate me to win my matches really fast. because i was so tall and skinny, i was stupidly good at the double leg takedown, and then once someone was knocked down, i'd just do the half nelson and kind of flip em over for the pin. then the ref would count to three and i’d win. EZPZ.

i had one match where that went great. won in the first ten seconds, sat back down, and prepared myself for a good hour or two of doing fuck all. didn't even feel bad the parents/grandparents were gonna be bored. the matches went up from me in 5 pound increments (i was in the 115 lbs division) and it was going great until we got to the 145 lbs division. the other school's wrestler stepped onto the mat, and she turned out to be a girl so our guy flipped, because for straight guys, wrestling a girl is not a pleasant experience.

i'm not entirely unsympathetic. my experience wrestling dudes was definitely a little traumatic. but also, i dealt. guy could've dealt too. instead, he refused to wrestle, and the coach went - fine. not even worth fighting over.

so he went to the 140 pounder, and that guy said, nosir, my mom said mormons can't wrestle girls. next guy down, 135 pounder, now he knew he could pull the same card and thus did. 130 pounder, 125, both tapped out. he got to the 120 guy, and that guy was catholic, but he said he was considering being mormon, and thus would have to pass. as a precaution.

coach blew up a little at that. he said "is there anyone - anyone - on this entire goddamn team that is willing to wrestle a girl?" and then he pointed at me and said "YOU. MAT. GO."

and i'll be real, if i'd been paying more attention, i'd have pulled the mormon card too, but i'd just been putting all that audio into a buffer file because i was reading, so i was halfway across the mat before i even processed what had been said and by then it was too late to turn back.

still i had a plan. and my plan - my beautiful, perfect plan - was to do what i'd always done. tackle, flip, pin, win. sit down. read. bore my family to death. move on.

i got the first part right. she was bigger than me, but she wasn't taller. just an incredibly stout woman. god built me like a snake with glasses, just as he built her like a combat cube. the problem was the half nelson. soon as she was down, i tried hooking my arm under hers from behind and for both genders, the defense for this move is just clamping your arms really fucking tight against your sides. if you're a guy, that's whatever, but if you're a girl - especially if you're god's chosen combat cube - that pins your opponents hand right against your boob.

so, i got the hook in, she clamped, my whole arm pressed against something soft, my coach was yelling THE HALF NELSON. BABYLON! JUST FINISH IT! FINISH THE HALF NELSON! and i was just trying to press hard enough to finish, when then my brain went

...oh.

and i flipped out. of course i flipped out. i like girls, and touching a boob is an elemental experience, and i was not ready. i was not prepared. i had not committed the sacred rites. i recoiled like i'd just brushed my arm against the surface of the sun, stood up, and backed away. nobody in the room knew why i'd given up. all they saw was me, right about to win, suddenly flailing around and scrambling. so everyone started screaming at me to just get the half nelson again, and i couldn't really yell back there's a fuckin' boob in the way and it was very distressing, and the only way i could think of to make them stop was just doing it over again the right way.

so i did.

i hunkered down and prepared myself for Wrasslin' Attempt #2: The Sequel.

i knocked her down again, EZPZ. i went for the half nelson again, but she knew what i was about to do so she super clamped, and i knew she was gonna super clamp, so i wound my arm back like a pop-eye cartoon punch before swinging my arm through the gap between her bicep and her side, but the amount of time i spent winding back super signalled what i was about to to do, which gave her time to clamp even harder, which somehow redirected the entire force of the popeye punch to the bottom of her bra.

it spat out a single boob the same way an action hero might spit out one single tooth after getting a solid crack across the jaw. as if to say:

*ptooie.* "that all you got?"

i did not actually see this. my experience was that first there was an arm, then there was a bit of boob, but i was braced, i was ready, forward at all costs, tatakae motherfuckers, and then the boob went away, and i didn't know where it went but my team, and the audience, and everyone who was in front of me, they all gasped like i just kicked them in the stomach. except for my coach. he was behind me, and thus one of the four people in the room who did not see the boob. now my mom, my dad, my grandma, and my grandpa, they all got flashed but nooooooo, coach thunderbutt was behind me, and he didn't see shit so he was still yelling NOOOOOO BABYLON WHAT ARE YOU DOING JUST FINISH THE NELSON! GO FOR THE KILL! BABYLON! BABYLON!

but i did not go for the kill. i stood up and she stuffed her boob back real fast, and we just kind of circled each other awkwardly until time ran out and i won on points. that's not technically allowed, but the ref had some mercy on me.

my coach did not.

i barely had time to sit down before he strode over to the bench to chew me out.

"babylon," he said, in that very calm way people get when they're too pissed to yell. "why didn't you pin?"

and i didn't know how to say well coach, i tried, but there was a boob, and it kept getting in the way, and my mom was watching, and so was my dad, and so was his dad, and his mom, and god (like bible god) and that's a can of worms because i'm pretty sure he was already mad at me, and i'm wearing spandex, and i think i might have to move to siberia, so instead i said

"i uh. i forgot how to do the half nelson."

which is actually impossible. forgetting how to do the half nelson is like forgetting how to swallow your spit.

and he looked at me, like i was the dumbest person in the entire world, and i looked through him like i'd just survived my 250th day in a trench at verdun, and he said: fine.

fine.

but we're all going to practice it for an hour tomorrow because you forgot.

and then he left.

and my buddies had the gall to be salty about it. i got so many comments saying "dude, why didn't you just tell him the truth?" and i said "you can if you care so damn much. you could've wrestled the girl too. maybe someone else should do the hard thing today."

but they didn't. so the next day, we did an hour of half nelson drills, and i spent a decent amount of time getting thrown around the mat, and it was pleasant in exactly the way that i hated and the year after that, to the surprise of everyone but myself, i quit wrestling and joined the trivia team.

and if you want more reasons to love my mom, my grandpa joked after the match that i might have to talk to my bishop about it, and my mom told him he would be allowed to make jokes after he stood in front of a crowd of 110 people in spandex underpants while wrestling a woman that was not his wife.

he paused for almost five seconds after that. then he said: aw. hell. sorry babylon.

and i'd have preferred my apology from god, but getting it from him was pretty good too.

[cass-cc]

.