#i need to start seriously looking into top surgery. like holy god that would fix my life

[fagdykevash]

looking at the notes of that poll. god i wish that were me

[musicalluna]

epistaxis, 7/7

this was originally a not fic written by @samurljacksonwho is allowing me to make it in to a full fic since i’m obssessed

warning: there will be quite a lot of blood in this fic :p

read part 1 read part 2 read part 3 read part 4 read part 5 read part 6

--

Steve is only partially aware of what's going on around him as the surgery wraps up and the doctors wheel him out of the OR. His face hurts so badly he feels blind with it. Breathing hurts and making faces hurts and crying hurts—everything hurts.

Someone puts a hand on his arm and says, “We're going to give you some pain medication, Captain. It should help a little bit.”

They have a few things, that, if carefully administered, can help him manage his pain. Steve waits desperately, praying with every second that passes that it will kick in soon.

Finally, finally after what feels like another eternity, the pain starts to draw back. He relaxes shakily against the bed, just now realizing how tense he'd been. He doesn't like feeling slow and foggy, but right now anything is better than the sensation of his face feeling inside out.

“Welcome back, old man.” Natasha leans into his field of view and smiles at him, one hand cupping his jaw. “I know you probably feel like you got hit by a Mack truck, but you're okay. The surgery went as well as could be expected. Tony is verbally eviscerating the team of anesthesiologists, and we're here. Do you know where you are?”

Steve starts to nod and then stops when it sends pain sparking out in a starburst through his face.

“Blink once for yes and twice for no.”

He blinks once.

“Okay good,” she says, voice warm and smooth as honey. “Where are you pain-wise? Use your fingers.”

Steve curls his fingers to indicate a six. Not feeling great, but not the worst he's felt either. He starts to ask how long it's been and the moment his throat starts to move, everything explodes with searing level-nine agony.

“...it's all right, ride it out, Steve, you'll be okay. Are you with us again?”

Steve twitches his head in a nod, because his eyelashes are clumped together with tears. That had been fucking excruciating, he won't do it again.

“You're probably not going to be able to talk for a little while, Steve,” Bruce says and steps into view on Steve's other side. “Everything is connected and it's going to cause you a fair amount of pain.”

No shit. Steve wants to say, but he doesn't dare try.

“Do you remember what happened?”

Steve's hand judders in a gesture that means sort of and thankfully it's understood.

“You underwent surgery to remove a piece of shrapnel caught at the back of your nose near the top of your throat. It went well, except you woke up during surgery, which was something I hope to god none of us have to witness ever again.”

Steve vaguely recalls the sense of panic when he'd woken, and he hopes not either.

“Your job now is to rest. Are you thirsty?”

Steve blinks once and someone hands Nat a cup. She carefully feeds a piece of chipped ice into his mouth. If he weren't tired to his bones, Steve would be more embarrassed. He tries not to move his mouth too much, nudging the ice around with the smallest movements possible.

Exhausted, he closes his eyes even though Bruce is still talking.

When Steve opens his eyes again, the sun is coming up. He feels groggy, eyes sticky and his mouth is horrible. To his relief, the pain has banked, reduced to a steady, low-level throb.

He looks around the room and discovers Tony slumped in the chair next to the bed with his head tipped back on the seat back. His mouth is hanging open a little and he's snoring. Natasha is curled up in a chair on his other side, eyes fixed on the screen of her phone, which is casting shifting blue light across her face. Last, he spots Clint tucked back in one of the corners sitting on a countertop. He's watching Steve.

Steve lifts his fingers in greeting and Clint's single-minded focus eases a little. “Hey, Cap. How you feeling?” he asks, keeping his voice low.

Remembering how bad it hurt last time he tried to speak, Steve swallows carefully, testing how it feels. It sharpens the discomfort in the back of his throat briefly, but compared to how it felt before it's not bad. “Better,” he tries. His voice sounds terrible, but it works.

“Good.” Clint tosses a small object at Tony and it hits him in the forehead before Steve can protest.

Tony jerks awake, blinking blearily.

He stares at Steve for a moment and then shoves himself upright, scrubbing his face. “Steve! Hey, hey, you're awake. Hallelujah, I don't want to be the boss anymore.”

“You're not,” Steve replies and Tony winces at the sound of his voice. “Nat is.”

Clint snickers.

Tony ignores him. “How's your face?”

“Aches,” Steve admits. “'s better though.” He's surprised when Tony puts a hand on his head and pushes his fingers through Steve's hair. It feels nice, despite how weirdly intimate it is for Tony.

“You hungry? Thirsty?”

“Yes,” Steve says, aware of just how much the instant the thought is placed in his head.

Tony huffs. “All right. The docs said you should have cold, soft foods. Birdbrain—”

“Already on it,” Clint says mildly, fingers flying over his phone screen.

Meanwhile, there's movement on Steve's other side and he looks over to find Natasha has put aside her phone and gotten a cup of ice chips from somewhere.

She smirks at him and holds out a spoon with a chip. “Open wide for the airplane, Stevie.”

“You are the worst,” Steve informs her, but he opens his mouth and takes the ice. It's cool and refreshing, but he wishes he could have water instead. It's just enough to make him want more. “How long was I out?” he asks, the shrinking chip clicking against his teeth.

Tony shrugs. “Eight hours or so.”

That explains why it doesn't hurt as bad. It must be starting to heal.

Thor arrives then, carting a tub of Steve's favorite ice cream. “I come bearing a feast!”

Thor plops the tub down in Steve's lap and he grunts.

“You need help?” Tony asks when Steve accepts the spoon Thor offers and Steve's temper flares.

“I'm not an invalid,” he snaps.

Tony immediately draws back, his lips thinning. “Yeah, got it, never mind,” he mutters.

Natasha pinches the back of his arm and Steve yells, “Son of a bitch!” around the spoon in his mouth.

“Don't be an asshole,” she says severely.

“Then don't treat me like I'm helpless,” Steve retorts.

Natasha's hand darts out again, pinching and twisting the side of his nearest pec. He swears even louder this time, a sear of pain tearing through his throat. “You went through something traumatic, Steve, and we want to be here for you while you recover. If you could try not to be a self-centered asshole for thirty seconds maybe you'd realize that.”

“Besides, letting your friends help you when you're down is not the same as being an invalid or being helpless.” Clint raises his eyebrows. “Unless you think you guys helping me out after I lost my hearing was that.”

“That's...not the same,” Steve mutters.

“Uh, yeah, it fucking is,” Clint retorts. “You don't get your own set of rules. You're not that special.”

Steve's mouth pulls into an almost-smile.

“Let us love you!” Clint mostly yells, overdramatic.

“Believe it or not, this isn't entirely about you, Steve,” Natasha says, voice dripping with sarcasm.

“Aye,” Thor agrees. “It comforts me to know that you remain here with us and have not gone on to Valhalla.”

“You may have felt it but you didn't have to see the way you looked on that table,” Tony says.

Before Steve can say anything in reply, the door opens again and Angavu steps inside. “Welcome back, Captain,” she says and then gently lobs a tiny glass jar at him. It lands with the faintest impact on the blankets over his chest and Steve looks down, picking it up.

Inside, there's a tiny shard of needle-sharp green plastic.

Staring at it, Steve can hardly believe this tiny piece of plastic is what nearly did him in. After everything he's been through and survived.

He hadn't realized how heavily he'd started relying on his new serum-fueled health. He's gotten cocky, expecting to come out the other side of just about anything unscathed. This is the first time something so insignificant has come so close to ending everything. All because he hadn't taken something minor more seriously. He should know that because of his enhanced body, seemingly insignificant issues could be signs of more serious problems.

He looks up at Tony and, swallowing his pride, says, “Thank you.”

Tony's head wobbles and pulls back. “What? Are you talking to me?”

“If it weren't for your paranoid fussing, I probably would have kept ignoring it and that...could have ended really badly. So thanks.”

“Oh, well.” Tony shrugs, eyes skipping nervously across the floor. “I'm happy to annoy the shit out of you in the name of keeping you alive. Kind of fond of you, you know, Rogers?”

Tony never fails to be better than Steve expects. Even after all this time, he's still letting the brash exterior fool him. He owes Tony better than that.

And, he realizes, looking down at the little piece of shrapnel again, he's still acting like that ninety-pound asthmatic with something to prove. His limits have shifted and he's probably worse now than ever about recognizing when he's reached them.

He needs to stop. He needs to rely on his teammates to recognize not only his strength but his weaknesses.

He holds out his hand and Tony steps forward uncertainly, fingers curling around the tiny bottle when Steve puts it in his palm. “Keep annoying the shit out of me,” Steve tells him. “You saved my life.”

“Holy shit,” Clint stage whispers, “I think he just had an existential epiphany.”

Tony curls his hand around Steve's and squeezes. “You got it, Cap.”

The impulse to prove himself strong enough, sturdy enough, worthy enough is always going to be there, but Steve wants to do better. His team deserves that.

[spectral-buni]

📺Alice Moon in different Villainous AUs📺(OUTDATED)

I was reading some Baby Hats collection comics(ADORABLE, by the way, should check ‘em out), and thought, I wonder what Alice would be like in those AUs and some... and here we are. So, far I only got a few, so I’ll keep reblogging to add on if I find any cool ones. Also, if you guys have AUs you think I could possibly use, feel free to share them with me, I will credit you!

☀️🐺Heroic🐺☀️AU:

I’m not sure who initially created this AU, but I’ll use @qtarts designs because I love them to death!

Here, Alice Moon is instead Malice(Ma-less) Sun (put a lot of time in that name, not really).

Malice is a holy demon. She died under mysterious circumstances, and accidentally redeemed herself when she saved a life. To this day, she tries to earn her spot back as the strongest demon in Hell

She has a stubby grey tail and can make ears like a wolf’s pop on the top of her head

A notable power of hers are her poisonous tears and her incredible strength

She cannot fly, however, for her wings were ripped off long ago

She owns a small bakery called Bitters N’ Death. It was started to sell villains pastries filled and made with unpleasant ingredients to either give to their heroes or eat them themselves. Unknown to her, her pastries made for great heroic products. She sold it to White Hat, who offered a large sum of money for her small business and cooperation. She makes cakes that can heal, donuts that can increase strength, and some that can wash out evilness to an extent. She had no idea all those bootleg spices she bought off a market would make such good pastries, but continues doing it

Her colors are black, white, and some blue

Her frame is the same as Alice’s, and has light grey eyes with black scleras. Her pupils are inverted crosses. Her teeth blood-stained and sharp(claims it’s blood, but her cherry scented breath tells another story). Her long, grey-white hair is greasy and straightened. Her skin is white, but completely smooth.

Malice is a rude and arrogant woman, closeminded on all aspects and believes her opinion is the only one that counts. She’s got a silver tongue even villains get scared of, and simply put isn’t a nice person. Malice doesn’t follow anyone, she has no ruler or ‘god’ to look up to, except White Hat who she has to respect due to him being her boss

She's very nonchalant, and doesn't show emotion to pretty much anyone. Malice isn't one to react to even the smallest things

White Hat isn’t very giddy about her, but he can tolerate her enough to hire her for her bakery. Sometimes White tries to convince her she’s a really good person, but Malice always denies him that. He’ll ocasionally try to compliment her, only to have to dodge an incoming kick from her

Clemencia has a grudging respect for Malice, but doesn’t like her too much. It’s sort of like stepsisters forced to like each other, but far better than what Demencia and Alice have. For one, Clemencia has never tried to kill Malice. They have their occasional chats about stuff

Slug has respect for her abilities and snark, but he doesn’t enjoy her presence. Trying to get the two to get along is like trying to join two negative poles together, it just won’t work

6.6.6 doesn’t at all like Malice. But 6.6.6 doesn’t like anything

🌕🦉Apathetic🦉🌕 AU

Apathetic AU by @nivilliain and @themcnobody

Here, her name is Alibi(A-ley-bye) Satellite

Alibi is a seraph, but doesn’t take her ranking very seriously(claims she does, but doesn’t)

Her six wings are dark brown and her lips are naturally dark. Alibi’s hair is horned like an owl’s

Two notable powers of hers are invisibility and teleportation, therefore making her impossible to track down

She doesn’t own anything, not a bakery nor a medical degree

She’s very quiet and introverted. She’ll never initiate conversations first, and is cold to others. But Alibi has a very flexible moral code. She has no patience for idiocy and will not give her enemies a second chance

Her colors are yellow, brown, and grey

Her skin and body are the same as Alice’s, scars included. Her arms, however are entirely bionic. Her eyes are also robotic, with the cross- shaped pupils the cornea being a glowing yellow and the rest a metallic grey. Her brown hair is straightened and reaches her chin

Grey Hat was rather annoyed by her presence. She claimed to have gone down from heaven to guide them, but she does very little and none of them have been ‘enlightened’ as she claimed they would be. Full of promises, but no action. Though, she has proved to be a good hitwoman...

Yamencia isn’t at all fond of Alibi. Alibi is also attracted to Grey Hat, so she’s a rival. Only she deserves Grey Hat! Not that seraph scum!

Clug honestly doesn’t really notice her. She’s mostly quiet around him. Though, he’ll catch her do something awful. Clog enjoys this sadistic side of her

E.0.3 appreciates that she’s pretty much indestructible. Alibi is surprisingly patient with him, since he’s a sweet heart with incredible strength like her. They get along fine

⭐️🦊Cowardice🦊⭐️ AU

Cowardice AU by @skribblie

Alisabeth(A-lee-sah-beth) Star

Alisabeth is a cherub

She allows her fox ears peek out, and has a fluffy fox tail

Her colors are orange, grey, white, and green

Similar to the Heroic AU, she’s got a bakery that Fraid bought to sell her ‘heroic pastries’(Well, Glorf was the one who negotiated). She also has experience in the medical field, so no matter how atrocious she may be with the scalp, she manages to do something good out of it

She’s a lazy woman with very little kindness in her heart. What she does have of kindness, she uses it on the gang. She’ll ocasionally say something bordering on straight up cruel, but claims it to be her being honest. She is honest, and a little sadistic. But she tries to be nice for Fraid’s sake. She’s constantly tired, as well

Same physical build as all the other hers. She has her long, orange hair simply braided. She has bright green eyes, and claws. She’s paper white, and is covered from head to toe with scars of all sorts, so she bundles up in bandages

Fraid Hat is a bit frightened by her. She’s still new to the team, but she’s managed to do great with her bakery, no matter how terrifying her cooking process and ingredients can be. But he appreciates that she tries to be nicer around him

Sanity is okay with Alisabeth. She doesn’t really like how she always frightens Fraid Hat, but Alisabeth tries to fix it on her own, so there’s that. They’re iffy with each other

Dr. Glurf and her are on good terms. They both try to protect Fraid Hat while also playing a prank on him every now and then. I mean, one of the two doesn’t do it entirely on purpose

4.0.4? They don’t really talk to each other much, but sometimes the pink bear’ll eat the stuff that’s about to go bad in the bakery, so....?

🌎🐸Inked 🐸🌎AU

Inked AU by @the-mighty-sorceress

(Tell me if I need to change anything about the character)

Ally(Ah-lie, like the word)Earth

She doesn’t have any frog-like appendages, but always rocks a frog hood

Generally, a hippie nerd who loves to recycle. She’s really chill, and doesn’t care about you unless you bring her some Burger King or Carl’s Jr. She likes Java Juice smoothies, and small creatures. She’s asexual and the same romantic orientation as the other hers. She also has a ton of consipracy theories about everything(“I hear Java Juice is secretly governed by a grey alien”)

Her colors are green, blue, black, and yellow orange

Her specialty are some body modifications. Her main job is still making gourmet pastries and drawing, though. She also has a degree in surgery and nursing, so it’s useful in her modifications

Ally has the same frame as all the other variations of her. Her hair is long and dyed a light shade of blue. She wears darker blue cross earrings. Ally has a split tongue, and wears yellow-orange colored contacts. She also has only one tattoo, a small crescent moon on one of her shoulder blades. Ally often draws little crosses on the apples of her cheeks with a eyebrow pencil

Black Ink is chill with her. She can remove body parts and make humans look grotesque! I mean, it’s voluntary, but still! They’ve also been dating for a week, so there’s that too

Demencia adores what she can do. Body modifications?! Sign her up for teeth sharpening and tongue splitting!

Plug likes her. She was nice after he brought her a Java Juice cup, so yeah

8.9.8 doesn’t have an opinion on her. He’s just a dyed bear. But she likes him very much

[the-mf-bread-babies]

20/6/20

× REBUILD III ×

+ RUNAWAY RENEGADES +

[ COLLECTION I ]

“backstories”

∆ VOLUME TWO ∆

“Odd Beginnings”

· PART ONE ·

———————————————————

CHAPTER ONE

DINER DATE

It was a rainy night. The clock inside the diner probably hadn't been fixed in decades, which only made time pass more slower for Jason. Jason Aronowitz Watanabe, 16 years old, was waiting for his first date to arrive at the restaurant. His mother and father were sitting in front of him, eagerly awaiting for her too. Among all the excuses the two had speculated, the son had grown tired and realized that maybe he didn't want to do this in the first place.

Jason stared at the unmoving clock, the sound of rain pattering filling his ears. God, it would be such a good time to sleep right now. “Honey, she's probably stuck in traffic,” said Judy, his mother. She spent hours to do her hair, makeup, and outfit. This might have been her son's date, but her and her husband's was going to take place as soon as the girl had arrived, and it was ten times more grand than Jason's. They had a reservation at Chili's.

Hisashi Watanabe, Jason's father, kept his eyes focused on the road outside. Maybe this was her. No, then that one. Also no. Well, hopefully Jason's not getting pranked or whatever. Oh, that's a cool truck. Bye, cool truck. Damn, that reservation's probably busted by now. So long, paradise pie. Two hours to get here and both dates are probably cancelled by now. Jason looks sad. Actually, he always does, it's understandable, but this time's sadder than usual.

“Jason, look outside!” The father whispered excitedly, pointing out the window. “Whatever. I wanna go home.” Jason grumbled angrily, his voice slightly cracking either from crying or just puberty. “Sorry, just… a limo,” Hisashi uttered quietly. “We can order something if you want,” Judy suggested, awkwardly smiling, her big sunglasses shielding the intense mix of emotions she was feeling– anger, disappointment, sadness. Also, hunger.

“Mm,” Jason replied cryptically. “Waiter! Can I get a menu, please?” Judy yelled out, startling the two men. She ordered something, her voice being reduced to mumbles by Jason zoning out, eyes fixated on the table. “Sweetie, do you want a milkshake? They have cookies and cream,” His mother asked, gaining back his attention. “Um, okay, sure.” Jason answered, giving his mother and the waiter a polite smile. “Thank you.” He went back to zoning out.

His parents were having a conversation about something unimportant, and the restaurant was awfully ambient. There was a jukebox, but that, too, was broken. This seemed like an appropriate situation for the boy to get distracted from everything and daydream. Damn, it would be so cool if he could play the drums. Ah, to be a transformer. Imagine going to have a heart transplant surgery, and Gerard says, “Babe, it's okay,” and then when it's done you ask the nurse who gave you the heart and she replies, “Frank Iero,” and you and the other three remaining members go get pizza or whatever. Poor Frank. Was that a bell ringing. Oh, to be a lamb in a field, eating grass. Ew, imagine eating grass…

HELLO.

A shadowy figure towered over Jason threateningly, katakana surrounding her. Who the hell is this?

“Do you need money?” Judy asked quietly, counting some dollar bills, thinking this was some random person. “Yeah!” She shouted excitedly. “Gimme five hundred thousand dollars, stat!” Jason's face turned to the girl. Her shirt read “TACO,” with an image of a cartoon taco below it. Cloaking the ugly t-shirt was a blue jacket that seemed quite old and vintage. Well, at least her outfit is matching. “Um… are you…” he asked the girl.

“Your date for tonight, partner!” Oh, she has braces. Yeah, seemed like a braces person. “Awesome! Now you two don't do any funny business, okay?” Jason's dad stated, pointing. “Dad, what.” “Well, off to visit your mother!” He added, his arm around Judy, the two scooting out of the seat to make room for the girl. “Cool! Your dad knows TF2?” The girl said, her face sparking up in joy. “I was an animator for the shorts,” Hisashi revealed, much to the girl's excitement. “HOLY SHIT!!! CAN I GET AN AUTOGRAPH?!” She yelled out, turning the heads of some people in the diner. “Sure thing,” he answered, signing a napkin. “Okay, bye, you two,”

Jason's eyes met the girl's, realising he forgot what her name was. Um… well, her brother's a senior, right? Tony… Tony Blenderson… Bender… Flanders… Uh… “Hi! You're Jason, right? From History?” She asked, raising his fear more. How did he even agree to this in the first place? Oh, right, their moms are friends. “Um, yeah, and you're…” Oh God. Grave mistake. “Man, I don't know! Most people just call me by my last name. First names are boring, you get me?” She confessed, calming him down slightly. “Oh, uh… yeah! Uh, so I can call you…” “Anytime!” She added confidently. “Huh?” Jason said, confused. “Henderson, man! Hendersonville is actually an actual place, by the way! Could you BELIEVE IT?!” Jason awkwardly agreed, not knowing what to do. “Yeah… like Disneyland or something…”

The conversation went on, with the occasional text from Jason's parents. “So then I was all like, I know karate, you dumbass,” she started, Jason trying his best to understand what the hell she was talking about. “And this stupid little goat starts headbutting me, and I'm bleeding and stuff, obviously, keep in mind I had a hamburger, that's important, okay,” The boy nodded his head along. “So, yeah, that was how gender equality is. Yeah, zoos are dumb, they're bad,” “Yeah, like, it's not good for them and stuff,” Jason said, finally having some material for the conversation.

He paused for a bit, unsure if the other was going to add anything. “So, uh, what do you do? Like, um, in general, yeah,” he asked, sipping his milkshake. “Kill people.” She blurted. “Okay. I like collecting stamps.” He replied jokingly. “HAH! God, what a riot you are! Oh boy, STAMPS!!!” Henderson laughed exaggeratedly, thinking it sounded natural, and possibly cute. “Yeah…?” “Yeah, not real people, but like, I play video games a lot. You ever play Slime Rancher? I've got six thousand days on that guy.” She confessed seriously, crossing her arms. “Also, used to play Overwatch, but that was so last rebuild. Now, in this one, I prefer Garden Warfare. You know, the FPS Plants vs. Zombies game?” She casually added, Jason sending his usual confused nodding and raised eyebrows with a slightly opened mouth as a reply.

Jason thought for a bit. “I play Apex,” He said disappointedly. “Oh, didn't it end because of that big rapper guy? Marshmello? Yeah. Sorry, dude.” Henderson comforted. “Um. I guess?” Jason ate the Oreo on top of the milkshake. “Yeah, and I also listen to emo stuff. I was born in the wrong generation.” He said, stirring the drink. “Oh, like PSY? Yeah, my old neighbor listened to him.” .. huh. “Um… yeah, and like, MGR and stuff…” “Cool! What's that stand for, again? My cousin listens to Chaos! in the Gathering, Nuclear Lad, thirty three tailors, so I know emo.” Henderson bragged. “Oh, it stands for My Geological Rocks! It's because they're pretty rock, and one of them saw this book where the title was ‘Geological Rocks’ or whatever, so they named the band that.” He explained truthfully. “ Oh ! That's Dumb ! ” She blatantly said, her hand loosely swinging a spoon.

“Oh, shit, you don't have food. Um, do you want some?” Jason realized, offering Henderson the scraps of his milkshake. “Nope! Lactose intolerance, baby!” She confessed, a hint of sadness present in her face. “Oh. Sorry,” He said as he slurped up the remains quite loudly. “Should I ask them for a menu?” Jason asked, clearly not wanting to do so. “I ate a toasted toast sandwich earlier, so I'm not really hungry.” “A toasted toast sandwich is a piece of toast slotted between two other pieces of toasted bread. With butter spread on some of them.” Henderson explained in detail. “Is it good?” Jason asked fearfully. “Duh,” she said. “Oh, okay,”

The two sat in silence. The room was quiet, even the chattering of the other customers were gone. Henderson waited patiently for a waiter to come by, her face staring at the table. “That's a weird stain.” She uttered, poking hesitantly at it. “Probably tea.” Jason added, looking at the stain. “Yeah,” Henderson agreed, resting her head on the table. They stared at the stain for some time. “So, uh, you like Jar-Jar’s Odd Journey?” Henderson asked, looking up at the other. “No, I don't watch anime,” he replied, prying at the stain with his fingernail. “Oh, okay. But like, do you like Jar-Jar’s?” Jason paused, looking at her and squinting his eyes, thinking what she was meaning to hint, then slowly realising it. “Well, do you like Power Princesses? With the cat lady and the other lady?” He asked slyly, smiling from ear to ear. “Yeah… literally and…” Henderson inspected Jason's jeans. “metaphorically… you know…” Jason inspected hers too. They both cuffed them, even though Henderson's were already a good length, now a bit too short, resulting in a very prominent hint. “So yes, I do watch Jar-Jar, then,” he replied. They nodded, smiling in Mystery.

“So, why'd you even agree to this?” Jason asked, facing her. “I dunno. Felt rebellious to steal my sister's date, I guess.” Jason leaned back in his seat, blinking interestedly. “So, if it weren't for you meddling fool, I would've gone on a date with a CRSCO girl, huh?” “Sksksksks and I oop,” Jason questioned dramatically. “Yes. That's actually why I'm late; I drove here by myself.” Henderson confessed, smirking. “And I knew I wouldn't like this date if it was at some fancy restaurant, so I picked somewhere I could eat, hence why the location is so unsuitable.” “The distance, especially. That was so my family couldn't track me down.” “As if they'd care.” Henderson folded her hands together on the table and put her head down and stared at them, her hair swinging dramatically in front of her.

“Well that's bad. And bad… ass,” Jake stated, tilting his head awkwardly. “Like, your family, that's bad, like, your brother's a… he's not nice, necessarily, but you stealing a date from your sister and driving to some random-ass diner in the middle of nowhere, that's some Gone Girl shit.” he explained, eyes burning with awe.

“I mean, I've had some friends from band that met your sister, and from what I've heard, and I'm sorry for being nosy, but, I mean, it really justifies this whole… thing. So, uh, yeah. Sorry,” Jason continued as Henderson moved her Orbs to meet his.

“So, how'd it feel to set her room on fire? Were the firefighters and shit? Again, sorry for being nosy.” Jason asked casually, doing his first attempt at the three-paragraph thing. Henderson giggled uncontrollably, wiping tears off of her Orbs. “Wha– FIRE?! Who told you that? I only just threw some of her stuff out the window, but SETTING IT ON FIRE WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN, JASON!!” Jason sat up, stammering in response. “B-But, um, like, uh, Tristan, from band, the school band, said that– you, uh, like, it was midnight, and he woke up because of all the sirens, and– yeah.” Jason explained, his voice nervously loud, and his hands gesturing wildly. “Oh!” she yelled out, remembering the experience.

“That was the time I tried modifying the hell outta french fries and I set the kitchen on fire! Like, I was pouring the fries in, then the fire just shot up, like, ten feet, and my hair almost caught on fire, the smoke alarm was ringing, it was hell, man, hell,” Henderson explained excitedly. “So, yeah, someone called the fire station, next thing I know, I'm getting yelled at severely, and I can't play video games or go on my phone for three weeks!” Jason nodded in awe. “How did you… mod… fries?” He asked in confusion, rubbing his chin. “Oh, I put olive oil, safflower oil, cooking oil, and corn oil, also I used a flat frying pan, put in two brands of fries, made sure it wasn't overcrowded, also put a thick layer of seasoning on the pan and I folded it like scrambled eggs.”

“So yeah, a literal recipe for disaster. Never doing that again.” Henderson stated, although she was most definitely going to make the same mistake in a few years with Rachel. “Ah. I see. Why the flat frying pan?” Jason asked. “Oh, the other pans were in the sink and I was lazy.” She replied, making a disappointed face. “also i'm pretty sure that it caused the oil to like. yknow. vooooshhhhh” Henderson added, sinking her face into her hands.

Jason thought of a more embarrassing moment. “Wanna know that time I went to the ER because I was too goth?” “Wait, two times! One, I ate black lipstick, the other, I got choked by a…” Jason sunk his head down. “homemade e-boy necklace…” Henderson cackled loudly, slapping the table. “How the hell do you get choked by that?!” Jason pursed his lips sadly. “I was wearing the necklace first and put it on backwards, big mistake, it had a really heavy padlock, then my binder, which was way too tight, so it was choking me, but I was wearing my turtleneck, and my arms were stuck, so I just smacked the dresser violently.” “And that's how I came out to my parents.” Jason said, smirking and crossing his arms together. “Thankfully, they let me buy a better one that didn't, like, kill me.” He added.

Henderson's jaw was hanging open in surprise. “You're trans too?!” Jason pogged in response, “TOO?!” The two shared a very intense and complicated series of high-fives and fistbumps, screaming in joy. “Man, so this is why you stole that dumbass’ date!” “Solidarity!” Jason stated, smiling. “Thanks for saving me, uh…” He paused, waiting for a confirmation. “Uh… I dunno. Girl?” Henderson replied, shrugging. “Girl! I am Dude!” Jason shouted, giving her a thumbs-up. “Cool! Hi Dude!” She yelled out, earning a very strong high-five from Jason. “Hell Yeah !!!!!!!!”

“Man, you want something to celebrate? This shit's nice as hell.” Jason asked, visibly in a better mood than before. “To hell with it! Cheesy Frickin’ Fries for the lady!” Henderson shouted in joy. “And for the man?” Jason thought for a bit. “Truck” he uttered, giving her an emotional gaze. Get it? Gaze? “Ah, okay. Truck it is, then,” Henderson confirmed before raising her head to get the waiter's attention.

“Waiter ain't here. Should I? Go to the counter?” She asked, pointing to the front of the diner. Jason nodded in response. Henderson approached the counter, her hands in her pockets, her eyes looking around. There was not a single person to be seen, the pies sitting on the rack softly, asking to be stolen and devoured. “Be… do…” she whispered softly, her hand reaching to the pies, only to be stopped by the other one. Disappointed, she went back to Jason, frowning.

“God hates us.” She uttered, her head pointing up. “No one at the counter, no one near the entrance, so no friggin’ cheese fries.” She grumbled, “Drove five friggin’ hours in the friggin’ rain just for this dumbass shit. Can't even have the friggin’ pies, that's illegal,” Jason looked at her sadly. “Hey, it's okay, I brought snacks,” He pulled out a packet of chips from his hoodie pocket. “Here's the fries…” Jason placed a slightly melted cheese slice onto the table. “And here's the cheese!” “Hipster, innit? All deconstructed an’ stuff,” He said happily, swinging his arm a la Grunkle Stan.

“What a gentleman. Thank you, Jarnathan Jarstar, my brother,” Henderson said gratefully, unwrapping the cheese slice packet. “Good job, uh, Catra,” Jason commented, opening the chips packet. As they dined happily, a tall, scary figure approached them slowly and murderously.

“Ya can't bring outside food in here.”

“It's against the rules, kiddos.”

“Might getcha banned fer life if yer not careful enough.”

“Aah!!” Jason screamed quietly. The figure revealed itself under the illumination of the ceiling lights— a man, presumably middle-aged, dressed in a cheap chicken costume, donning a knight helmet. “You wouldn't make the cut. Ya just wouldn't.” The man uttered cryptically, confusing the two. Was this weirdo the mascot or just some guy? “I have pepper spray, creep.” Henderson threatened, pointing the self-defence tool at the costumed man. “Like that'll do anythin’.” He pointed out, glaring at the girl.

In response, Jason pushed the man, Henderson following suit by vigorously kicking the life out of him. Blood oozed out of the now-stained costume as he begged for help, trying his best to explain the current situation. “Stop! Please stop!” He yelled out, only for the helmet to be removed by Henderson, who was ready to punch the hell outta him.

Some balding white guy sporting bad facial hair had been the culprit all along. Jason pulled the remains of his hair and threw him to the floor, yelling. Out of the blue, a group of people showed up, coming to the rescue and pulling them apart from each other. “Whose idea was to be threatening again?!” The man in the chicken costume yelled out, clearly angry at all of them. “Run!” Henderson shouted, grabbing the snacks and dragging Jason out of the diner, only to be chased down by the others.

“Who the hell was that guy?!” Jason yelled, running. “I may be weird, but I definitely don't know that guy, and definitely not enough for him to just show up like that!” Henderson shouted back, confused. “Guess it's some weird kidnapper, then? Or a really odd mascot.” Jason said, dashing around the street corner. “Probably!” Henderson ran past Jason. “Hey, wait up! I was kicked outta the track team for a reason, Henderson!” The boy yelled, running out of breath. The girl went back to him, feeling a bit guilty.

“I, uh, have asthma.” Jason said, pulling out his inhaler. “Oh, um, I'm, uh, really, really, sorry.” Henderson nervously apologized, her mind wondering what would happen if Jason died right then and there. Oh, she'd definitely have to go to court. Maybe it'll be like Legally Blonde. Jason stood back up, gesturing to Henderson to keep going. “Hey, I'm okay, go ahead.” “You can leave me here if you want. Death isn't a big concern for me; I'll meet all the MGR members, then when I go to hell I can punch Brendon Urie in the face…” Jason struggled out. “… because he's like, racist,” “Bob Bryar too, man,” Henderson nodded slowly, not knowing what the hell kinda emo thing he was referencing.

Jason looked behind Henderson, surprised. “Hhhh… they're not killing us…” he tried out, pointing to her back. “Oh, hey, yeah. Let's go hide somewhere.” Henderson suggested, looking around for a good shelter. “I'm gonna tell this to my parents first…” Jason said, moving down to sit on the ground. “Oh, man. There's no reception here.” He revealed, getting more and more scared with every second they stayed there, the possibility of them being caught and killed or whatever growing steadily.

“I mean, we are in Ohio, Jason. There's a bigger chance of us stumbling into a big-ass cornfield than us getting reception in some super rural town like this.” Henderson sighed. “This place is called Van Wert, Jay. How friggin’ hillbilly is that? Van Wurrrtt, yee-haw,” She commented angrily. Jason took a deep breath and stood back up, scanning the horizon.

“Well, hard to find a place where we won't get shot immediately when entering, especially at this hour. I mean, gun store, bar, creepy pharmacy, another gun store, mom and pop, mom and pop's gun store, shooting range, farmer's market, café (with a rifle under the counter), barbershop, ranch–” Henderson smiled from ear to ear as she heard what Jason just said. “RANCH?! WITH HORSES?!”

tob e fucketh continue

a uhhh Notes by Rocco Wulfram North

oh that names so epic omg