#and I could write so much more about him lol
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I feel like they are the type of mf to stalk you in game bruh.
Like imagine Tim playing dress to impress just to vote you a 5 star no matter if your fits are trash lol. (Hell all of them might do it)
Or maybe your playing some sort of RPG game, and you said to your in game friends about how you wanted a skin and BOOM you immediately got it first try when you gacha lol. (Tim)
— masterlist !
as much as i love writing yandere angst, i always border on the softer spectrum of it, so when it comes to interpreting your life post-kidnapping: i'll say that the family is a bit more lenient (as if it's enough to make you feel a semblance of freedom) to you when it comes to pastimes like gaming as long as you're always being monitored, especially in online games...
that translates to you being stalked at every opportunity every time you use your bugged phone...
they're always breathing down your neck, so you think you have privacy even when playing alone? when heaven forbid the surrounding cameras all over your room, all set-up by tim and his invasive ass, just so he could have constant surveillance over every movement or hobby of yours?
there's eyes on you all the time, but you'd never expect that it's to the point that they'll join all the games you play if it means spending some "bonding" time with you whenever you push them away from physically being in the same room as you.
so if it means playing lousy obbies in roblox, or even "girly" games like dress to impress, for hours, then they'll join you without moment's hesitation. you'll be shocked at just how well tim and damian style their clothes, but nobody's beating steph and cass at their game. and despite you feeling down in the dumps at the times you feel inferior towards them and their expertise, or just how well each of them communicating with each other, and you, feeling out of place everytime.
it's an undeniable fact that it's you always winning and ranking first place.
they'll always lower themselves, or won't even try so you'd always be in the spotlight even if you ask them to play fairly.
oh, by the way, never ask any one of them to duo with you. they automatically see it as you crowning one of them as your favorite— you don't want to see another fight ensue just because you voted one of their fits better than the other.
you could be shit at the obbies, constantly missing your jumps and close to snapping your device in half— then suddenly you have the game passes to skip certain levels. suddenly, you have an entire cheer team waiting with baited breaths every time you finish a jump, only to cheer and celebrate once you finish a particularly hard level.
oh, you're in a shitty dress to impress server with unfair voting? don't worry, barbara's faster behind the scenes, finding pro servers for you to join in. the entire family's already at your beck and call (even if you've never asked them in the first place) every time you mouth a complaint, each statement of yours taken more seriously than the missions they have every night as vigilantes.
and once bruce catches the news that you want robux just to buy the VIP and custom makeup game pass for dress to impress, or literally any games? god, he's like your mr. salt to you, his sweet veruca, willing to buy the entire game, hell, even the gaming companies you play on.
just, you know, if you don't want them showing their affection directly, then they'll do so by servicing you through the games you play.
any game currency is immediately bought by bruce, all transferred to your account, no matter how expensive it is because he sees it's what makes you happy, watching you burn off all the money on your avatar's design, or certain gacha characters you're fond of, with your eyes staring at the screen in awe with no worries about becoming broke.
it just makes him want to... hold you like you're a little kid spoiled by their father who loves them so much, who should've loved them from the start.
your siblings have an unspoken competition on who could grind on your account the most while you're afk, just so they could see your meek smile plastered on your adorable face seeing that you have the proper resources on your inventory.
you know, it makes them feel useful to you. it makes dick feel like the dependable older brother who's the first one you approach whenever you need him to play for you whilst you go to the bathroom. tim even learns every game mechanic in parkour games so he could assist you during the moments you struggle.
as cute as you are on his computer screen in one of the cameras surveying your room, pouting as you look at the screen at another failed level, tim wants to be as every bit your favorite, the guy you see as the geeky nerd in the family so he'll be the only one you approach to help you out (you don't even have to ask him, his eyes are always on you).
jason's good at point and shoot games, he gives you oddly realistic tips too so you could aim right at players and eventually secure your spot. it makes him huff with joy whenever you win competitive games 'cause you always jump and cheer, forgetting the boundaries you've set with personal space, just to thank him with a hug and your rare grins that feeds the greedy parts of him only wanting to see your smile all for himself.
so, really, everything's fine with them, as long as it doesn't disrupt your quality time with your family in real time and you don't hurt yourself over losing that they're happy you're enjoying. as long as you're not pushing them away and not-so eagerly accepting their online presence, then maybe you could find an actual routine to enjoy every time you open your phone to play a game.
maybe you'll learn to smile or laugh with them too when you're all in the same room playing together.
maybe, just maybe.
#🧁... yael's misc.#series: again & again#yandere dc#yandere dc comics#yandere batfamily#yandere batfamily x reader#yandere batfam x reader#yandere x reader#yandere#yandere x you#yandere x y/n#yandere x gn reader#yandere dick grayson#yandere tim drake#yandere jason todd#yandere damian wayne#yandere dc x reader#yandere stephanie brown#yandere bruce wayne#yandere batfam#yandere batman#yandere robin#yandere barbara gordon#yandere cassandra cain#yandere angst#yandere fluff#platonic yandere#neglected reader#yandere x male reader#yandere x darling
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How many fics have you worked on since January?
Worked on about 55? I think? Its hard to calculate as I posted whumptober and febuwhump as individual stories but they exist in one doc each on my computer. I've worked on 6 fics that are either as of yet unposted, unprinted in a zine, or just lost unfinished limbo (I need to work on my merrin-focused post nur fic omg)
2. What’s something new that you tried in a fic this year?
I guess I've tried to play more with present vs past tense, and finishing multichapter fics before posting. Did try out a time loop for the first time during whumptober and had fun with that!
3. What piece of media inspired you the most? (This can be the fandom you wrote the most for, the one that spawned the most ideas, the one you thought about the most, etc.)
I feel like Star Wars is the pretty obvious answer, though right at the end of the year here comes Dragon Age with a steel chair after 4 years of not really being involved in the fandom
4. How many fandoms did you write for this year?
Seven, I think! Jedi Fallen Order & Survivor, The Bad Batch, Dragon Age Inquisition & Veilguard, FFXV, FFXVI, Horizon Zero Dawn & Forbidden West, and Twisted Wonderland
5. What ships captured your heart?
As a gen writer its rare for ships to catch me, but thank you Veilguard for giving me Rook x Harding, and M!Rook x Emmrich. (Not a fan of F!Rook x Emmrich sorry yall)
7. What characters captured your heart?
As always Cal remains number 1 in my heart. I love him so much, along with the whole Mantis crew <3 For new this year, I am bewitched body and soul by the Veilguard crew. The writers were cooking with all of them, they're all amazing!!
8. Did you write for any new fandoms or ships this year?
...Does Veilguard count lol? For new fandoms I wrote one FFXVI fic early in the year.
I've got two fics for Rook x Harding and one wip for Rook x Emmrich as new ships!
9. What fic meant the most to you to write?
That's a hard question!! I think I poured a lot of my own personal emotional anguish into a lot of the fics I wrote this year. It's been a rough year for many reasons, and writing out all that angsty hurt/comfort helped a lot
10. What fic made you feel the happiest to work on?
I think finishing 'what makes a family' was honestly one of the best feelings ever! And the fact that I still get comments on it from time to time about people binge-reading it.
11. What fic was the most satisfying to finish writing?
I guess I could go with the above, but actually completing whumptober was pretty satisfying.
12. What fic was the most difficult to write?
'i do not love the bright sword for its sharpness' is at the top of this pile. i think about it constantly but actually writing it is proving super difficult, and it remains unfinished...
13. What fic was the easiest to write?
The one for the Pabu Days zine!! I wrote the first draft in just over an hour, and it was about 1k too many words lol
14. What were your shortest and longest fics posted this year?
of the ones written entirely in this year, 'take a breath before the plunge' wins with its 11k words. If we count just completed this year, 'what makes a family' wins at just shy of 70k
The shortest was one of the whumptober fics, 'where flesh and metal meet'
15. What were your go-to writing songs?
The Horizon games' soundtracks! Less of a song list, but there's too many to put in here.
What was the hardest fic to title?
...all of them. Titling things is the hardest part of writing fics
16. What's your favorite title of the year?
Love and Blood Both Run Red, or maybe Cold But For Your Company
17. Share your favorite opening line
In some way, Tech thinks, it is poetic to die for his family.
From here, at the bottom
18. Share your favorite ending line
He turned, and came face to face with a skull staring back at him. There were holes through the skull, and though everything had been decayed by time, Cal could still see that the skeleton wore Jedi robes.
From then there was nothing
19. Share your favorite piece of dialogue
ooh i don't know! If its humorous then assume its one of my favourites
20. Share your funniest line
see above
21. What's something that surprised you while you were working on a fic? Did it change the story?
I think being able to slip back into old fandoms and characters for whumptober was a surprise. it didn't change the story but it was surprisingly quick to get back into things i hadn't touched in years
22. What writing programs did you use? Did you write by hand?
I use microsoft word for all my fics. which isn't great for longform fic and probably why i don't write too much of it
23. If you had to choose one, what was THE most satisfying writing moment of your year?
Again, actually managing to complete whumptober felt really good!! I've never managed to finish a writing challenge like that so it was a really proud moment
24. Did you do anything special to celebrate finishing a fic?
I don't think I've ever done anything?? Though I am thinking about starting a lil scrapbook of comments or smth like that
25. How did you recharge between fics?
what is this recharge you speak of? I am either possessed by ideas that demand attention or left in a drought of creativity
26. Did you create fanworks other than fic?
I do playlists for myself sometimes. I have ones for Cal, Crosshair, and Omega right now. I constantly wish i had the patience to improve my art skills to do fanart
27. How many events did you take part in? (bangs, exchanges, ship weeks, zines, prompt memes, they all count!)
4 if you count febuwhump and whumptober. I'm in a Bad Batch zine that's in preorders right now - Pabu Days, and participating in a fic/art exchange for new years for Twisted Wonderland
28. If this were an awards show, who would you thank?
firstly I'd like to thank my cat for being the one to hear me talk out plot points and details. I'd also like to thank @pennflinn and @breakfastteatime for being both supportive of all my j:fo fics as well as being inspirations themselves in that fandom! And the whole j:fo fandom at large for being awesome and supportive of each other's works. And I need to mention @fanfoolishness for joining me in not one, not two, but THREE! fandoms here!! As well, shoutout to @shadowcrow for yelling on my rook x harding fics! it's a small corner of the fandom but at least it's got you there!
29. What's left on your to-do list for 2024?
Finish this fic for the new years exchange, and get another chapter of Blood and Love Both Run Red up! Though it may only be one of those that happens...
30. What would you like to write next year?
I wanna finish bright sword and get that post nur Merrin fic postable! And since I'm currently consumed by Veilguard I wanna write more of that next year too!
A slightly revised version of last year's questions! Two ways to play: Reblog and have your followers send you numbers, or answer the whole list!
How many fics have you worked on since January?
What’s something new that you tried in a fic this year?
What piece of media inspired you the most? (This can be the fandom you wrote the most for, the one that spawned the most ideas, the one you thought about the most, etc.)
How many fandoms did you write for this year?
What ships captured your heart?
What characters captured your heart?
Did you write for any new fandoms or ships this year?
What fic meant the most to you to write?
What fic made you feel the happiest to work on?
What fic was the most satisfying to finish writing?
What fic was the most difficult to write?
What fic was the easiest to write?
What were your shortest and longest fics posted this year?
What were your go-to writing songs?
What was the hardest fic to title?
What's your favorite title of the year?
Share your favorite opening line
Share your favorite ending line
Share your favorite piece of dialogue
Share your funniest line
What's something that surprised you while you were working on a fic? Did it change the story?
What writing programs did you use? Did you write by hand?
If you had to choose one, what was THE most satisfying writing moment of your year?
Did you do anything special to celebrate finishing a fic?
How did you recharge between fics?
Did you create fanworks other than fic?
How many events did you take part in? (bangs, exchanges, ship weeks, zines, prompt memes, they all count!)
If this were an awards show, who would you thank?
What's left on your to-do list for 2024?
What would you like to write next year?
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𝐋𝐄𝐓 𝐌𝐄 𝐁𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐒
read part one here!
pairing: steve harrington x fem!reader
word count: 6.8k words
summary: in which spending the night with steve only makes things more complicated
warnings: explicit language, cheating (both reader and steve are cheating on their partners), implied smut, a lot of angst
author’s note: did this for the like ten ppl that asked for it<333 i listened to a lot (A LOT) of i, carrion (icarian) by hozier while writing this so that pretty much explains the super angsty vibes we have throughout most of this lol (angst with a happy ending though so no need to hate me! 🫶🏾)
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。
The time couldn’t have been later than six o’clock.
For the most part, it was still dark outside, but you could see the beginning bits of the sun rising through Steve’s thin curtains.
And it was then that you realized that you were still in Steve’s bed when you definitely shouldn’t have been. A fresh wave of guilt began to settle in your stomach as you shifted around to face him. He was still asleep, lips slightly parted and hair a mess.
You needed to leave— you actually should’ve left hours ago, but you’d fallen asleep way too easily in his bed; something that you’d actually never done before. And even now you still couldn’t find it in you to move, so you instead kept looking at him and pushed away the guilt that quietly gnawed at your stomach and told you that you should be running away right now.
“You’re staring,” Steve mumbled after a few moments, eyes still shut and the tiniest hint of a smirk on his face.
You quickly shook your head even though he obviously couldn’t see you. “Not true.”
His eyes opened and you immediately closed yours, knowing that he caught you but you still pretended as if you were innocent.
You felt him poke your side barely a second later and you laughed despite yourself. Your eyes opened and you didn’t hesitate to meet his gaze, but then seeing the small happy smile on his face reminded you of why you shouldn’t have been in his bed right then.
You shifted so that your head was back against the pillow and you stared up at his ceiling, focusing on a random spot. “So, um, are you feeling okay after last night?”
You decided against specifying exactly what happened last night to save you from pointing out the elephant in the room— him being drunk and showing up to your house and a conversation that was honest but also not at all somehow leading here.
“Yeah, just a headache, but not really.”
You promptly decided to use that as an excuse to get out of his bed. “I’ll go grab something for you. Is the aspirin still in the same spot in your bathroom?”
“Yeah, but you don’t have to do that.”
You shook your head as you pulled the blanket off and got up. “No, it’s fine.”
You stepped through the door that connected to his bathroom. You avoided looking at yourself in the mirror, for reasons that you couldn’t fully decipher, and simply rummaged through the drawer underneath his sink for a quick second.
Steve was still in the same position in his bed when you returned to his room, except now he was looking at you with a confused look in his eyes.
He didn’t say anything or call you out on your current antics though as you tossed over the bottle of aspirin to him, and then you realized something.
“Oh, you need water too. I’ll be right back.”
“You don’t—”
You waved him off before he could finish his statement and slipped out of his room, not giving him a chance to say anything else.
It didn’t take long, you knew his house fairly well, and doing the mundane task of finding a glass and filling it with some water was enough to help clear your mind and make you think about everything logically. You realized just how much of a mistake last night was, but the only good thing was that this would be easy to recover from. You two could still go your separate ways and let your different lives completely go back to how they were before you two started sneaking around with each other.
When you got back to Steve’s room, he was sitting up and leaning back against his headboard. He pushed a hand through his hair, which actually did very little to tame its messiness.
“Here you go,” You said as you handed over the glass.
He smiled at you. “Thanks.”
You simply nodded in response at first and then you were speaking. “Yeah, no problem.”
You lingered awkwardly by his bed because you didn’t want to get back in, but you felt as if there was a lot more you should say before you left. “Hey, um, can we agree to actually not do this anymore? I still stand by everything I said in the bathroom yesterday.”
His confused look returned. “We didn’t do anything last night.”
“Yeah, and I think that’s somehow worse,” You told him as you turned away because it became too hard to hold his gaze right then. You grabbed your hoodie off the back of his door and slipped it on. “Let’s just let things go back to normal, okay? You with Nancy and me with Jamie.”
It didn’t necessarily feel right saying the words, but they felt needed. You had to say them. You had to pretend that everything was fine, or that it at least had the potential to be that way.
“I broke up with Nancy last night.”
For a second, all you could do was simply look at him as the words processed in your brain because at first you were convinced that you heard him wrong. But once they did process, you were immediately blurting out, “What? When?”
“Before I got drunk and saw you,” He answered, voice way too soft to match this huge news that he was dropping on you.
You shook your head and sighed as you realized that everything wasn’t going to easily go back to normal and be fine like you wanted it to be. “God, Steve, I really wish you would’ve told me that last night.”
“Would it have changed anything? Is it changing anything now?”
“I wouldn’t have let myself come here,” You answered immediately. “If you had told me this when you were standing on my front lawn, I would’ve told you to go and try to get back with her.”
There was a lot more that you could’ve said— that you would’ve seen the conversation you two had last night right here in his bedroom entirely different if you’d known, and you wouldn’t have let yourself fall asleep in his arms if you knew that there wasn’t any hope for things to go back to normal because he no longer had a “normal” to go back to. And you wouldn’t let yourself be here with him in this moment either.
“Is it changing anything now?” Steve asked again when he noticed that you hadn’t answered that question.
“No... No, it’s not,” You said after the briefest moment of hesitation and then turned away from him again. “I’m gonna go. You should try to fix things with her.”
“Why do you want me to be with her so bad?” You could hear him ask as you closed his bedroom door behind you.
Because then I’d feel a little less terrible about all of this. You wanted to practically scream that at him. You wanted him to understand that if things could just go back to how they were then you’d feel okay about how shitty of a person you’d been for the past month and a half. At least, that was the hope.
However, you didn’t tell him any of that.
“It’s just, it’s the right thing to do, Steve,” You responded loud enough for him to hear you through the shut door.
You headed down the stairs, not listening to see if Steve said anything else, and you were in the middle of putting on your shoes when you heard his door open again. You tied your sneakers quickly and terribly because you hoped that you’d be able to slip out before Steve made it down the stairs.
Perhaps you two needed to have a better conversation that would actually come to some sort of proper conclusion, but you couldn’t do that right then. And then you quickly figured that if you kept pushing him away, maybe he’d get the hint and push you away too, or simply let go.
You were only able to pull open the front door before you abruptly stopped your fast movements.
Because Nancy was standing in front of you, finger seconds away from ringing the doorbell. Her eyes met yours and you suddenly wished for the ground to swallow you whole.
She looked like a girl that had just been broken up with, eyes puffy and red like she’d been crying all night, and you knew that was entirely your fault. An immediate “I’m so sorry” was on the tip of your tongue, but you couldn’t say that, not right then. She had the saddest look on her face that was quickly replaced with surprise and confusion when she saw you standing where you were.
“Oh, oh, hey. I was, um… I was just leaving,” You said to her, trying to sound as normal as possible but this was perhaps the most not normal situation ever.
Her eyes immediately narrowed at you. “Oh my god, I knew it.”
You wondered what she meant. Did she mean that she knew that Steve was cheating, or she knew that he was cheating with you?
You obviously didn’t ask her to clarify, though. Instead, you slipped past her and started walking away. The last thing you heard was Steve saying, “Nance, what are you doing here?” and her responding with some angry words that you felt as if you shouldn’t have heard.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。
After the moment you and Steve had on New Year’s— an abrupt kiss on a swing set that led to a lot more kissing in his car— a sort of routine quickly formed. It became a cycle of ending up in his car or your car or his house, and it was exactly three weeks after New Year’s when he finally saw the inside of yours.
It was a rare one-off situation where your parents were gone for the weekend and you knew that you weren’t supposed to have anyone over; not even Jamie, even though they’d known him for practically forever.
You had never had the urge to break the rule before and Jamie wanted to keep a good relationship with your parents and was also too nice to suggest breaking it either, so you initially thought that your nights would be quiet.
Except you now had Steve in your life. And he didn’t mind breaking the rule of your parents who he hadn’t even met, so he came over to your house around ten o’clock.
You were immediately trying to pull him in for a kiss when you closed the front door behind him, but he pulled back with a teasing smile.
“Can I at least get a tour before you try to seduce me?”
You playfully rolled your eyes at him but still nodded at his request. “Of course, I’m so sorry, where are my manners?”
You grabbed his hand before you could think too much about it, and quickly led him through your house and pointed out everything. “Kitchen, small dining room, living room, guest room and bathroom down the hall. And that’s pretty much it for down here. Nothing as extravagant as your house.”
“I like it.”
“Don’t get too attached because this is the only time that this will happen here.”
You didn’t outwardly say the exact reason why that was probably the case— it would never make sense for him to come over any other time; it would either be too risky with your parents right down the hall or during a time when Jamie was over. But, Steve understood all of what was left unspoken.
“Got it,” He said and then he smiled at you. “Can I see upstairs?”
You nodded, leading the way once again. “My parents' room is down that way, and I’m right here.”
The door was already open so you let him walk in first. There wasn’t too much you found embarrassing about your bedroom, not the full shelf of books or the few posters that hung on the wall above your desk. The only thing that made your cheeks warm in embarrassment was the wallpaper on your walls that you had since you were a kid and had hoped to change sooner rather than later, but you had just never gotten around to it.
Steve looked at you after a moment. “Cute room.”
“One day those pink unicorns will no longer be on the wall.”
“I like them. They add character.”
You couldn’t help but roll your eyes even as you laughed at his words. “Shut up.”
The teasing smirk on his face didn’t manage to annoy you as he stepped closer to you and the distance between you two became nonexistent. He leaned in and kissed you then because that was what was supposed to happen and it probably should’ve happened sooner; what you two were doing wasn’t meant to be anything more or less than physical.
Your freshly made bed became a mess in a matter of moments and clothes were quickly scattered on the floor; his jeans and t-shirt gone and your own tank top and shorts tossed somewhere to the side too.
It was fairly early for a Friday night, and you kind of wondered how Steve could even be here right now, but neither of you ever asked where each other’s person was. It was just quietly understood that when you two were together it meant that some excuse had been made or some lie had been told so that this could happen.
A part of you knew that you’d eventually feel bad about all of this, but it had only been three weeks and you were able to forget about how bad you should’ve been feeling when you and Steve were together like this; not an ounce of space between your bodies and limbs tangled beneath bedsheets. Weirdly enough, it just felt too right even though it was objectively wrong.
Soft kisses trailed along your neck and collarbone and then proceeded to move lower and lower. All you could do was sigh in contentment and your eyes slipped shut as you let Steve turn your mind to mush for the time being.
“You’ve read all of these?” Steve asked you later; when you were heading back into your bedroom after using the bathroom and you saw him standing next to your bookshelf.
He was shirtless with only his jeans hanging low on his hips, which made sense since you were wearing his t-shirt right then; it had been the closest thing to you afterward. Now, though, you pulled it off and tossed it over to him and then went to grab your own shirt.
“Yeah,” You simply answered his question as you searched around your room for your underwear and slipped it on once you spotted it partially under your bed.
Steve pulled one of the books off of the shelf, you couldn’t see what the title said even as you moved a little closer to him. “This is the one that we had to read for that English project last year.”
You nodded. “Oh, yeah, I liked it a lot, actually.”
“I barely remember anything that happened in it.”
“That’s not surprising and it’s probably the reason why we got a B+ on that project.”
Steve placed the book on the shelf and then turned around to face you. “Hey, a B+ is great.”
“Yeah, for you, but for a person that actually really likes English, not so much,” You told him and then smiled to show that, for the most part, you were joking.
He held up his hands in mock surrender. “Sorry for holding you back on that project.”
“Apology accepted,” You said. “I also really don’t even need an apology because I’ve had much worse partners than you on things before.”
“Okay, in that case, I feel honored that I haven’t been the worst person you’ve ever had to work with.”
You laughed a little. “And I hope I was the best person you’ve ever had to work with.”
Steve nodded. “Of course, you definitely were.”
You were pretty sure he was joking— even though he didn’t entirely sound like it— so you continued playing along. “I feel honored.”
He stepped closer to you and for a second you thought that he was going to kiss you again, and although that never happened after, you didn’t think that you would’ve reminded him of that or pushed him away. He didn’t kiss you, though; he stopped before he got that close to you and started heading toward your open bedroom door instead.
“I should probably go,” He said, and you nodded in agreement.
He could’ve easily stayed the night if either of you wanted that to happen. But, he didn’t ask and you didn’t offer. It would’ve been wrong to, you both could silently agree on that.
You were kind of starting to become okay with things becoming more and more wrong, though.
This was meant to be mindless and solely physical, but it was becoming a sort of routine, second nature in a way, to talk about random nonsense or joke around with each other.
However, staying the night felt like a line you two shouldn’t cross; it felt different than just talking for a while after. It felt a thousand times more intimate and serious and like it went several steps past just having sex or being two people who talked about way too much with each other sometimes.
“I’ll see you later,” Steve said before he opened your front door.
“Yeah,” You nodded. “Goodnight.”
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。
Barely a month later, and the line had been crossed.
The unspoken rule was broken and there wasn’t even any point to spiral out about it because that somehow wasn’t the worst thing that happened.
Everything was ruined, or it at least soon would be because you couldn’t imagine Nancy sitting on this information and not telling anyone. She was rightfully mad and maybe you deserved whatever would happen once all of this spread around the school.
Your walk home from Steve’s house was quick and the sun was completely up by the time you made it through your front door, but it was still early enough that your parents were still asleep and wouldn’t know that you’d been gone for the entire night.
A part of you wanted to simply just go to sleep when you stepped back into your bedroom, sleep through the entire day, and just forget about everything. But then there was the other part of you that couldn’t not think about everything; the inevitable explosion that was coming sooner rather than later, and it didn’t even feel entirely dramatic to view it that way.
Ultimately, you decided to take a shower because it felt like the only thing that would help you feel a little better. It ended up being the longest shower you’d had in a while and it actually didn’t do much to make you feel any differently. There was still the guilt that had made a home in your stomach when you woke up and it was now coupled with a lot of dread.
You left for school at the time you were supposed to leave, saying a quick goodbye to your parents before stepping out of the door, but you turned left instead of right at the end of your block and ended up at a diner. You stayed there for probably way too long, sipping coffee instead of anything else because you couldn’t stomach the thought of having actual food right then.
You thought about how you could fix things, and if there was even any hope to fix anything, and also what exactly was there to fix. You didn’t want to hurt Jamie, but you were certain that you did, and what could you even say to him now that would magically “fix” what you’d done?
That you loved him and still wanted to be with him? That everything that happened with Steve was a stupid mistake and you regretted it entirely?
You had lied a lot over the past month and a half and you didn’t want to just continue piling onto it. But, then the thought of being a thousand percent honest felt way too scary.
And when thinking about how fucked your life was became too much, you took the newspaper that a random older man offered you and sipped more coffee, and reread the same articles over and over again.
You eventually showed up to school halfway through lunch. Missing the entire day felt a bit too cowardly and you also remembered that you had to take a Chemistry quiz at the end of the day. However, you didn’t immediately step out of your car once you were parked in the school parking lot. Instead, you leaned your head back against the headrest and let out a sigh, eyes slipping shut in the process as you mentally prepared yourself for whatever you'd have to face inside those walls.
An abrupt quick knock against your window scared you and made you open your eyes. It was Jamie standing at your passenger side window and you could feel your heart speed up in your chest, and it wasn’t because you’d just been startled by him.
But, he didn’t look mad at you, just confused, and that felt like a good sign; maybe that meant that the “inevitable” actually hadn’t happened yet.
You gave him a small wave and then he opened the door and proceeded to get in your car.
“Where’ve you been?”
“I wasn’t really feeling good this morning, but then I remembered my Chem quiz last period and I don’t wanna miss that.”
He nodded. “Oh, okay.”
He wasn’t looking at you— you could tell that he was purposely avoiding eye contact with you, actually— and it was that that made you realize that he knew.
“I’m so sorry,” You blurted out.
“Is it true?”
“I’m so sorry.”
Finally, his eyes met yours and the hurt look on his face made you want to break his gaze, but it would’ve been too shitty to look away because you suddenly felt bad. “I don’t get it... Steve Harrington? Really? Do you wanna be with him now?”
For a second, you didn’t say anything. You couldn’t; no words would form on your lips. And it was then that you realized that you weren’t ready to be honest with this guy sitting next to you who you’d known since you were twelve and considered your best friend since then too. It shouldn’t have felt so fucking hard, but it did, and the worst part of it was that you knew that you had to tell him the truth anyway.
“Honestly, Steve has nothing to do with how I feel about us and you,” You ultimately said, realizing that you weren’t completely answering Jamie’s question, but he didn’t call you out on it. “I’d been feeling… off about things for a while, but I wanted to pretend like I wasn’t. I wanted to pretend that everything was fine and normal between you and me, so I pushed those “off” feelings away and buried them down, and acted as if they didn’t exist. I lied a lot to myself because I was scared that I’d mess everything up. And then I saw Steve on New Year’s and we did something stupid and shitty that didn’t feel that way at the time, and that’s when I started lying to you. And all of the lying and what me and him were doing never felt completely terrible and wrong until yesterday. But, by the time I actually wanted to do the right thing and try to be a good person, it was too late. And maybe that’s actually a good thing because I would’ve just kept lying to myself and to you too if things hadn’t blown up this way.”
You were rambling and probably not making any sense right then. The thought of ruining absolutely everything still weighed so heavily on you, even though the damage was already pretty much done. There was no recovering from this and there was no “fixing” things, you realized now. However, you were still explaining and explaining and hoping that maybe things could somehow be okay.
A confused look crossed Jamie’s face. “Why didn’t you just tell me how you were feeling about us before?”
“Because I’m a coward and I wanted to avoid all of this,” You admitted. “And also because it was just so confusing. I love you, you’re my best friend, so it didn’t make sense to me why I was no longer in love with you. And the thought of having any sort of conversation about this scared the shit out of me because I don’t wanna lose you completely.”
Things became quiet for a second and Jamie looked away from you, staring straight ahead at the parking lot instead.
After a moment, he started speaking again. “Remember back in seventh grade, and I’m pretty sure most of eighth grade too, you used to make me turn around or close my eyes whenever you wanted to tell me some sort of secret?”
The abrupt subject change surprised you, but you nodded anyway. “Yeah, I remember that.”
You weren’t ever entirely sure why you would do that so much. Jamie was the first person you’d ever gotten super close to and you felt like you could tell any and all of your secrets to him, but the act of doing so scared you, so you’d make him look away whenever you did. He thought it was a little weird at first, but he came around to the antic after the first few times.
“You eventually stopped doing that and you started telling me everything right to my face,” He continued and you understood where he was going then. “I thought that meant that you felt like you could tell me anything, especially all of the shitty stuff.”
“I didn’t want to hurt you,” You said, and it was a bad excuse, but it was also honest. “And I know that I just ended up hurting you, anyway. Probably a thousand times worse than if I just told you the truth from the beginning.”
He looked at you again. “So, what’s the truth?”
You wanted to break his gaze so badly, but you forced yourself not to. “I love you, I really do, but I want things to go back to how they used to be with us. I wanna just be friends. I’m sorry.”
“Okay,” He said softly, and he didn’t sound completely hurt, but you still felt terrible.
“I’m sorry,” You told him again because it felt like the only thing to say right then.
He lightly shook his head at you, like he didn’t want you to keep saying it. “At least I don’t have to be scared of your dad anymore.”
His joke made you smile and inwardly sigh in relief; maybe things actually could somehow be okay.
“There’s literally never been any reason to be scared of him. He likes you more than me. Who else can he talk about basketball with?”
Jamie cracked a small smile at that and a comfortable silence lingered for a bit as you took a look at the time displayed across the dashboard. There were only about fifteen minutes left of lunch and it probably would’ve been a good use of your time to focus on studying for your quiz later, but you didn’t bring it up right then and you didn’t move to grab your bookbag from the backseat. This moment actually felt okay and you didn’t want to be the one to break it.
“I’m just realizing that you didn’t answer my question from before,” Jamie eventually said.
You glanced at him, confused. “What question?”
“Do you want to be with him? With Steve?”
You weren’t entirely sure how to respond to that, but you were opening your mouth to stutter out something anyway because staying silent felt like it would’ve been an answer in itself.
Before you could manage to say anything, though, Jamie continued. “Actually, no wait, never mind, I don’t think I wanna know the answer.”
He still didn’t sound entirely mad, but another soft-spoken “I’m sorry” was on the tip of your tongue. However, he was opening the door and stepping out of your car before it could fall from your lips.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。
This time when the rocks began hitting your window in the middle of the night, they were expected.
You had actually called Steve asking him to come over and he didn’t say no. There was the smallest part of you that thought that maybe he would.
You pushed your window open and looked down at him standing on your front lawn. “Come up.”
A confused look crossed his face. “You’re not coming down?”
You shook your head. “No, come up.”
It was risky, your parents were right down the hall and this was pretty different from you sneaking out, but you couldn’t really find it in you to care.
The way the roof was angled made it easy for Steve to pull himself up and maneuver his way toward your bedroom window. Steve wasn’t completely graceful doing it, but he tried to be, which made it funnier, but you didn’t laugh and instead only smiled at him once he was through the window and standing in front of you.
“Did that look cooler than it felt?”
That time you couldn’t help but laugh a little. “No, sorry.”
He pushed a hand through his hair and gave you the smallest smile. “A lie would’ve been appreciated.”
“Oh, what I meant to say was that was actually the hottest thing I’ve ever seen,” You told him and he laughed.
“Thank you,” He said and then slipped off his jacket and laid it on the back of your desk chair, which left him in just his white t-shirt. “I didn’t see you around school today.”
“Oh yeah, I didn’t really want to go today,” You said with a shrug that you hoped feigned the proper amount of nonchalance. Your answer was only half of the truth— you actually didn’t want to go, but you also couldn’t seem to force yourself to step out of your car after your conversation with Jamie, it felt too hard to, so you instead ended up back at the diner for another handful of hours.
You sat on the floor at the foot of your bed now, leaning back against it, and Steve followed suit, leaving only a little bit of space between you two.
You turned your head to look at him. “How bad is everything?”
“Not terrible,” He answered after the briefest moment of hesitation and you could tell that he was attempting to downplay it all for your sake. “It’ll probably blow over by Monday.”
You weren’t sure that was possible, given just how popular Steve was, but you nodded anyway and your eyes fell to your hands in your lap because it was easier than doing anything else.
Maybe he saw through the half-hearted nod because then he was whispering to you. “It’ll be okay.”
You didn’t say anything in response to those quiet words, but they did manage to soften something inside of you. You pushed away the thought of school and what Monday would look like for you; what everyone probably now thought about you and the shit people would say because of it.
You looked at Steve again and he gave you a small hopeful-looking smile that you suddenly felt like you didn’t deserve.
“I feel like I was way too mean to you this morning and I’m really sorry about that,” You abruptly told him.
Steve shook his head at your words. “It’s okay. Doesn’t matter.”
His hand found one of yours then, intertwining them. It felt like way too tender and sweet of an action, something that had never been done between you two, but it also felt entirely right.
“Did you ever think about why it was so easy for us to do it? To lie and cheat?” You asked him, not holding eye contact and instead focusing on the floor.
You knew your own answer to the question, but you wondered what his was because he never seemed entirely unhappy with Nancy, and since you two rarely ever talked about your respective relationships, you felt like you knew nothing about where his head had been.
“Honestly, I didn’t think about it.”
“Why did you do it?” You asked. “Why’d you want to kiss me that night?”
There was no pause or hesitation before he answered. “Because it was you.”
That was probably the cheesiest thing you’d ever heard, so you immediately nudged his shoulder and rolled your eyes. “Stop it. Be serious.”
“I am serious,” His hand gave yours a light squeeze, forcing you to meet his eyes. “You remember the first time we met up after school to work on that English project?”
You did remember it, but you only nodded because you really wanted to hear what he had to say about it.
“We hung out for like two hours that day. Worked on the project for a bit and then just talked about random stuff for most of the time, and it was all just so easy for some reason; so damn easy to talk to you. I looked forward to every day that we had to work on the project after that. And then I think it was one of the last few days of us doing it that you randomly mentioned that you had a boyfriend and I realized that I had zero shot with you.”
You weren’t entirely sure what you had expected Steve to say, but you knew that it wasn’t that. He was right that the conversations you two had then had been pretty effortless and nice, but hearing that he liked you all the way back then felt like something that you immediately wanted to shake your head at and deny. There hadn’t been any moments during those two weeks that gave you any indication that he liked you in that way. Yes, he was flirty, and he wasn’t even dating Nancy yet so it could’ve been plausible that he really was flirting with you, but you figured that was just his personality; everyone knew just how damn charming he was.
“And then all those months later I saw you in that backyard. And things were going fine with me and Nancy, but I suddenly really wanted to talk to you. Because you were alone, and I thought that meant that you and Jamie were over because why else would you be alone on New Year’s? But, no he was still in the picture, but you didn’t tell me to fuck off because of him, so I didn’t.”
Things got quiet for a second and before you could really even think about how to respond to that, Steve was speaking again. “Why’d you let me kiss you that night?”
“I didn’t think about it too much,” You immediately answered him, suddenly finding it so easy to be honest. “Deep down, I knew it was a bad idea, but that wasn’t enough to make me wanna stop it.”
You shifted closer to him, closing the last bit of distance between you two and leaning your head against his shoulder.
“It was the kind of bad idea that felt like a good one once it was happening if that makes sense,” You continued. “It felt nice and good and really… Right. Even though it shouldn’t have.”
“Yeah, it always felt right,” Steve agreed, voice soft. “It still does.”
A part of you couldn’t help but think that even though this moment felt right too, maybe it also shouldn’t have felt that way. But, everything else— what made this all so wrong in the first place— was already ruined and over, so perhaps it was okay to finally lean into this rightness since you wouldn’t end up feeling bad or guilty about it in the long run.
You pulled your hand away from Steve’s and then shifted so that you were in his lap, legs on either side of him and knees pushing into the carpet below you.
Your eyes met his soft brown ones that looked unsure of what you were about to do or say next.
“I really like you.”
It was the first time you were admitting it out loud and as the words fell from your lips and settled in the quiet air of your bedroom, you realized just how long you’d been aching to finally say them to him.
The smile that spread across Steve’s face practically melted your insides. “I really like you too.”
Your hands came up to settle on his shoulders as you nodded and smiled back at him. “Cool, nice to know that we both like each other.”
“Really like each other,” He corrected you and then leaned in to press the quickest kiss against your cheek, which made you laugh a little.
“Oh, sorry, you’re right,” You said and then it was your turn to lean in. You brushed your nose against his and your eyes slipped shut as you whispered your next words against his lips. “Really like each other.”
You started pulling back but Steve’s mouth chased yours, putting an abrupt end to your teasing. You gave in easily and leaned into him, returning his eagerness and inwardly sighing in contentment at the feeling of his lips on yours. Your pajama shorts rode up as you shifted in his lap and one of Steve’s hands moved to rest on the sides of your thighs to keep you steady.
You wouldn’t mind kissing him forever. It was a thought that hit you a lot in moments like this— as mouths explored and hands roamed— and this was the first time that that thought didn’t scare or worry you because it wouldn’t actually complicate things like it would have before.
You pulled away from his mouth after a moment and your lips found his neck instead. He let out a low hum the second you grazed your tongue over a particularly sensitive spot on his skin; you had discovered it the second time you two made out in his car and you adored the soft sound he made when you found it.
“You still have unicorns on the wall,” Steve abruptly said and the words felt so random that you stopped your movements.
You let out a laugh against his neck. “Shut up. Why are you bringing that up right now?”
“Sorry, I had to turn down the mood somehow,” He said and you pulled back to look at him. “Since your parents are right down the hall.”
“Well, I guess that just means that you have to be really quiet for once.”
He let out a sound that resembled both a scoff and an amused laugh. “Me?”
The tiniest hint of a smirk played on your lips as you nodded, fingers threading through the hair at the nape of his neck. “Yeah, you get really loud, Harrington.”
“I think we have very different memories of what this last month has been like,” He said and then he was tilting his head up and finding your lips again before you could potentially say anything in response to him.
His hands moved from your thighs to your hips and he pulled you down against him. There were some layers separating you two— your thin shorts and the sweatpants Steve had on— but it was still the perfect amount of friction. You were brushing roughly against the tent in his sweatpants, which made you inadvertently moan into the kiss.
“See?” Steve mumbled against your lips. “You’re the loud one.”
You pulled back a little, it was too hard not to laugh, even as you playfully rolled your eyes at him. “That was very evil.”
“I’m sorry,” He said, but smiled at you. “Come on, let’s go to my car. Maybe head to the lake? You can be as loud as you want there.”
You nodded at his teasing suggestion, but still slotted your lips against his once more, not wanting to move out of this position just yet. Steve didn’t seem to mind at all and he pulled you closer, as close as you two had been so many times before.
You could recognize that this was a weird set of circumstances and the smallest part of you was trying to figure out how much of it you’d end up looking back on and regretting— the lies and secrets that started all of this and ended up hurting people just like you knew it would. But, in this moment, you deliberately didn’t think about that. Instead, you focused on Steve and how glad you were that he was here and how happy you were to have him in your life.
You whispered those sentimental words to him moments after they hit you; labeling them as cheesy and he immediately shook his head and told you that they weren’t.
“I’m happy too,” He whispered back and one of his hands came up to find your cheek. The way he stroked your skin so tenderly made you suddenly turn shy under his gaze, but that didn’t make you want to look away from him. “That I’m here with you. And that you want me to be.”
“I think I’ll always want you to be,” You said, voice still soft and quiet, and it didn’t hit you how true those words were until they were out in the open. Maybe they were a bit blindly optimistic, but that didn’t change how much you meant them right then.
Steve kissed you again and you two stayed like that for a little longer before you moved out of his lap and the two of you finally headed to his car.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。
let me know ur thoughts<333
#steve harrington x reader#steve harrington x fem!reader#steve harrington fic#steve harrington angst#steve harrington smut#steve harrington imagine#steve harrington x you#steve harrington fluff#stranger things fluff#stranger things imagine
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★ smut , toji x reader , vanilla , npr.
★ w/c : 533
We all know Toji is rough and likes hard sex. Like that man will have you drooling and a snotty mess by the end of every round, and it’s one of the best feelings ever. But what about slow domestic sex with Toji?
The one where he would pull you firmly towards him, your bare back against his warm chest as he kissed down the side of your neck on a cold, lazy morning.
The one where he would squeeze and grope your breasts gently, careful not to wake you up because you needed to get enough rest after a really good rough night.
But he failed in resisting his urges. Miserably, of course. All plans of letting you sleep in and giving your body rest were thrown out the window as he could feel your naked ass rubbing against his morning wood.
He tried. He tried to wait, but god, the way you were sleeping so peacefully, with your hair splayed and chest heaving. He needed to be in you no matter what.
Toji's hand slipped under your thigh, gently lifting it and laying it on his hip as he brought his cock to your entrance, rubbing the tip against your folds to get you wet and lubricated.
You whined and huffed, slightly annoyed at the fact that your beauty sleep was interrupted. “Tojiii… Not right nowwww…” you mumbled, still half asleep.
“Shhh…” Toji quickly hushed you as he started prodding into your hole.
You groan and eventually give in. The feeling of his round mushroom tip entering your pussy, making you wetter by the second.
Toji breathed in sharply, his warm breath fanning against your earlobes as he bottoms out into you with a muffled groan.
Your warm, gummy walls sucking him in perfectly.
Your breath hitches as you feel his hips move, his long, thick length driving in and out of you at a slow rate.You hum and bite down on your lower lip.The way he was humping you. His cock hitting all the right spots. This is something you always craved.
Toji wraps his arm around your waist and pulls you impossibly closer. He let out a deep sigh, his hips continuing their slow movements.
“You feel so good doll… so warm… so sweet…” he whispered in your ear, his voice gruff. “I love lazy mornings with you… not as much as I love being in you…” A deep chuckle rumbles through his chest.
You hum in contentment and relish in the feeling of Toji's cock penetrating your walls.
He notices the lack of sound from you. “Where’s your pretty little sounds, pretty lady?” He asks all pouty and with a hint of insecurity. “Do you not like it..?”
You chuckle before letting out a hum, focusing on his length.
Toji smiles against your skin. “That's more like it..” He kisses your shoulder before slightly increasing his pace as he feels his orgasm approach.
He rolled his hips smoothly, hooking his arm under your thighs so he could hit deeper spots, which he knew you loved.A few more slow thrusts, and Toji is planting his seed deep in your pussy, his moan slightly muffled as he buries his face in your hair.He should do this with you more often.
A/N: hihi! Quickly decided to write this and post lol 😝 NPR. if you see any mistakes? No you didnt. Just keep scrolling. Anyways sorry for being inactive, i was supposed to post something on Christmas but my pet passed away and i couldn’t complete it nor could i come online 😿 anyways merry late Christmas and happy holidays <3
#౨ৎ ⋆。˚ yun’s silly fics#jjk smut#jjk x you#jjk x reader#jjk fluff#jjk fanfic#jjk toji#toji fushiguro#jujutsu kaisen toji#toji x reader#toji smut#toji x you#toji zenin#toji x y/n
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𝓖INGER & 𝓢NAP ` ꕀ. k.th
you were the last person taehyun expected to appear on his doorstep. sweet and fluffy and oh-so-proper; he never thought he’d see you again. but... there you stand. and, much to his own chagrin, he fears that nobody else could get him more bothered. ׄ ⋆ ִ
་��� ՚՚ ꒰ 🪵 ꒱ ・ 7.9k
ρairings gingerbread!taehyun x frosty puff!reader
𝒢 ‧̥ smut, fantasy, strawberry shortcake au
⍵arnings brat taming, brat tamer!taehyun & brat!reader, his cum is frosting, creampie, ofc no sex ed in strawberryland, thigh riding, oral m!receiving, cumming into mouth, cum eating, corruption of innocence & innocent!reader, banter, chubby!reader and buff!taehyun, manhandling, he throws her around a bit and she's so into it, they don't like each other but also def do, he likes to teach her manners, reader is also spoiled & rich and taehyun is not, hair pulling, he gets mean, no protectiom, let me know if i missed some!
✎୭ ashlynn's note this collab has been seriously so fun. writing fics is fun, but there's something about talking your friends and scheming all the yummy ways you can incorporate certain things into your fic. @thetxtdevil mae baby, thank you so much for being the best and even coming up with this idea. your mind amazes me... like actually. everybody did so unbelievably good, and i'm blessed to have been a part of it. now... let's get foody and smutty lol. some of this was written in a benadryl haze, but that's the fun part. i'm sorry mine came out a lil later than everybody else's, but hopefully it's still fun!
... back to the masterlist ⌇ back to strawberryland
Raising your fist to the door, your knuckles rap against it with a few thick knocks. The door is frosted around the edges in little swirling white puffs of icing, framing the gingerbread door. It’s the same all around his house: gumdrops and candy canes and the like, all twinkling with sugar crystals.
It’s all so sweet—unbelievably so. The man that calls it home is the very antithesis of sweet. He does not take after the gumdrop, nor the sweetness of the icing, and most definitely not the brown sugar and molasses of the gingerbread. Taehyun is the quick snapping of a leg, or the sharpness on your tongue when you get to the cinnamon and nutmeg.
You loathe it. Even being stood here, knocking at his door, you hate. He is everything uncouth and abrasive—he is everything you should not entertain.
Here you are, entertaining it. The door swings open. Your fingers and toes have begun to slow with the cold, like frosty-whip in the fridge. Through the forest, stepping over sugar bushes and cocoa streams, you had fought the bite. Why did he have to live all the way out here? Secluded, as though the rest of Strawberryland were beneath his meddling. You know why: it’s that he believes it. He is exactly as your parents told you he’d be, all those years ago. Of course, they were right. They always are.
When he catches sight of you at his door, his distant eyes morph, and his lip tugs into a scowl. The rise of his brows ruffles your feathers with an infuriating ease. “Is there something you want?” he asks. His tone is infuriating, too. It’s the kind of question that means much more beyond the words said. You catch exactly what he means—how he intends to get under your skin.
Hidden behind the door, he has one hand on the handle. It's an unspoken thing, too. He wants you to remember that he could close it. You can’t let him, or else you’ll have drug your pretty new furry winter boots through the powdered snow for him to slam a door in your face. “Yeah, actually. There is.” You run preening fingers through the ends of your hair. “We’re partners for the bake-off.”
“I don’t do the bake-off,” he says. His eyes would be chocolate and smooth if it weren’t for the way he wields them sharp. “Sorry. You’re gonna have to find somebody more your speed for that.”
Barking an incredulous, perhaps even snobby, laugh, you look around. Snow comes down on the ground, sweet and creamy. It’d been enough of a battle to come here. If you were going to give up so easily, you would’ve turned your little bottom around perhaps two hours ago. Does he think you hadn’t considered that? It was a long walk; you had plenty of time to mull over the many things he might do. Sometimes, you imagined him diplomatic and affable. You stomped those wispy thoughts out. Perhaps it’s been years since you’ve spoken with him, and perhaps what happened between the two of you is dusted over, but you know better. Here he stands in front of you: bitter as ever.
“You’re just gonna leave me without a partner?” you say. Your jaw trembles, seized finally by the cold. “Everybody is already paired up. Literally everybody.”
Shrugging, he says, “I don’t see how that’s my problem. I didn’t sign up for it.”
Your brows knit. That means somebody else had signed him up. You have a sneaking suspicion who might’ve—Blueberry Kai always tells you that he just feels excluded. It’s hard not to laugh when he does. Taehyun? Excluded? He is exactly where he wants to be. Where most are sweet in Strawberryland, the snappy gingerbread finds it easier to justify his bitterness when he lives off in his little gingerbread home, out and away in his own neck of the forest only to be found by a winding gumdrop road, where he can pretend he’s above it all.
It’s entirely ironic. Him, better than you? Gingerbread, and all his ruggedness? His unpolished edges? Once, you’d believed that the two of you weren’t so different. That you could be friends, even. Seeing what he’s grown to be, you think you understand why your parents stepped in. Back then, though, as just that soft little girl who followed the charismatic boy around with crystal stars in your eyes, it had been the worst thing to ever happen to you. He had been so gravity-defying, moving through the soft, marshmallow edges and the sugar-whipped reality of Strawberryland as something different.
No. Not gravity-defying. Rather, in the powdery and sweet sweet Strawberryland, you think that he is the only thing with gravity.
“That’s not fair.”
“Not fair?” he echoes, letting a little patronizing laugh out along with it. “That’s sweet.”
It’s hard not to shift or cross your arms over your chest, abraded by the dripping sneer.
“What? It’s not. It’s not fair that, just because you don’t want to at least give it a try, I can’t participate,” you say. Really, you should just crawl back home and beg to join somebody’s duo, but you can’t lose like that. You can’t lose to him. If you leave it like this, then he’ll have gotten the better of you.
“Can’t get everything we want, huh?” he says, straightening up and taking the door in his hand once more. “Just because everybody else has bent backward to give you what you want doesn’t mean that I will.”
“Wait,” you say, sighing in a white swirl. “Don’t close the door. Don’t you know your manners? It’s rude. You’re just going to let me freeze out here? I walked all the way out here, and even got snow all over my new boots, just for this, just for you to slam a door in my face? I mean, a gentleman would at least invite me in to warm me up.”
Lips twitching into a laugh and his eyes suddenly alight, he says, “A gentleman, huh?” He pulls the door open a little further. The warmth from his home, warm and spiced and oh-so-inviting like oven-warmed gingerbread, brushes over your twinkling skin. “Sure. Show me your manners, then. I want you to ask me nicely.”
Your jaw tightens. Sending him a once over, sharpening your eyes, you decide to just do it. His tone is nasty, but you don’t want to be disqualified for not having a partner. Even if he’s the worst you could’ve been paired with in all of Strawberryland. Or maybe the best, because it’s a gingerbread house competition this year. “Will you just do it?”
“I said ask nicely. Say please.”
He wears a mean smile—he’s having fun watching you squirm. So, you make a conscious effort to straighten up. “Will you please be my partner for the competition?” you say, making your voice sugary and batting your eyelashes in an overdone way. He thinks he’s funny.
Stepping out of the doorway, he motions you inside. It might look gentlemanly if it weren't for the sting in his eyes. You swallow down petty words and push through, your arms full with supplies. Arms aching, you finally let them clatter down over the countertop. The inside of his home is fresh-baked and spiced, aromatic like a true gingerbread cookie straight from the oven. You’re sure the glowing fire helps carry the smell in warm air. It wraps your cold bones up and smooths over some of the frayed edges. You’d been out there for so long… Nobody else had to walk that far for their partner.
Better just to get this done as quickly as you can. You just have to put up with him today, and you’ll be done, and then you can have fun with the competition. He won’t even show up for it; you’re sure.
“I’ll do it all if it’s that big of a deal,” you tell him, laying out the walls and warming the icing between your palms. “You can put the peppermint on, I guess. So then we can say we both worked on it.”
Hair the fluffy brown of true gingerbread and dusted with snowflakes like powdered sugar. Taehyun shakes his head, and it moves with him. “No,” he says, the corners of his lips still turned up as though he knows something you don’t. He rolls the sleeves of his gaudy, knitted Christmas sweater up to his elbows. The corded muscle there, flickering with movement, catches you off guard. Gingerbread, built like that? Tearing your eyes off him with the effort of metal tearing itself from a magnet, you watch him approach the kitchen counters. “I’ll help. We’re partners, right?”
No matter what he says, there’s a twist of something sparkling in those sharp eyes that has you watching him closer—has you trying to gauge exactly what he’s playing at. “Uh… Yeah. Sure. If you want to, I guess.” You gesture at the walls. “Two for us, and ten for display. Can you start the walls?”
“Ten?” he says. “We’re making twelve gingerbread houses?”
With your lips pulled taut, you say, “Yeah… Twelve. Is that too much? I didn’t think any amount of gingerbread houses would be too much for you. That’s a little ironic.” Everything is warm in his home—even when you look down at your own hands to tug off your white woolen gloves, your skin that usually sparkles like frost rests just beneath the surface is tinged with the warmth.
“I can handle it just fine,” he says, taking the wall and base sections of one. “Just wouldn’t want you to ruin your pretty outfit. Twelve is a lot of icing.” He spits the word pretty out like it tastes bad. On his tongue, you’re sure it does. He never cared for pretty things the way you do. Your mommy always said that he was just jealous, but when the both of you were little, before your parents’ meddling, you learned that it was just a different lifestyle. One that you don’t understand, perhaps. Who doesn’t enjoy dressing themselves in lush furs and sugar crystals over their necks?
“I’ll be fine,” you say, snipping the tip of the piping bag open. “I wore these knowing they’d get dirty. They’re my baking clothes. My boots already got all messed up…”
“Oh,” he says. “You put on cashmere knowing you’ll get it dirty. Mommy and daddy paid a pretty penny for that, huh? And it’s your throwaway outfit?”
“Look. If you like it so much, I’ll let you have it when we’re done, yeah? Maybe you’ll make a pretty penny off selling it.” You ice a warm white line down the length of a wall. “Can you hurry? I’m already icing. I don’t want to be here all day.”
There’s a few long, thrumming moments of quiet, where only the sound of your piping back crackling fills his home. Finishing a wall, you tear yourself away from your work to spare a glance his way.
Taehyun’s jaw is tight, a muscle flickering where he grits his jaw in the low light that washes over him. There’s a fire blazing in his eyes, and though he doesn’t turn them on you, the smoke rolling from them is enough to make your skin warm. You’d successfully gotten under his skin. Why stop here, when seeing that look on his face is so fun? He looks as sour as an apple; as spiced as cinnamon. “Wall?” you say, sharp and haughty as you offer your hand out to him in an impatient demand.
Snapping his head up, he hands you a wall with the heat of a thousand ovens in his face. You feel the scald he intends for you with it, and you revel in it.
You bark commands at him, watching his shoulders grow tense and his lips twitch with each. Crush the candy canes, you tell him. Melt the icing. Sprinkle these over that. Soon enough, you’re sitting back and watching him work more than anything.
He doesn’t say a word. You see them brimming in his eyes, but he doesn’t let them burst out all venomous like you know he wants to. It’s quite the show.
“Would you at least help me hold this up?” he says, holding the walls of a house together with one hand. His hands are a mess of runny sugar and powdered sugar for snow, and yours are perfectly clean. You can at least help a little bit if you want to claim any part in the competition.
You reach for the piping bag, fat with the sweet sweet icing, and straighten a wall up. You trace the seams with it, thick and like glue. With a bit too much pressure, the side of the bag bursts. White rivulets of slow icing run down your fingers and over the table. You curse, dropping it to the counter. That’s all of your icing, flopped down and deflating over the surface all sad-like. It’d been so much, that you thought it would last you each house and then some. Of course, you hadn’t brought extra.
Bringing your sticky fingers up to your mouth, you suckle the mess off. It’s so very sweet—warm and weeping, nutty and spiced with something like nutmeg. It’s Taehyun: the smell of it, the way it spreads over your tongue… You stick your tongue out to catch it where some drips down your forearm. “Mmm,” you say, sticky-armed. “Tastes good.” That’ll be good on the gingerbread houses; maybe the two of you do have a chance at winning.
When you look up to Taehyun, he stands frozen in place, his hands still holding up a half-constructed gingerbread house. His eyes are different. It’s a look you don’t recognize—a look you’ve never seen before. Rather than deep and warm, his eyes are blackish and heavy. A swallow goes down his throat; a tense, barely contained thing.
You frown, your lips still a sugary mess. “I didn’t mean to make a mess. Sorry. I’ll clean it up…”
Clearing his throat, Taehyun says, “Yeah…”
He watches you clean the counters, where the icing had pooled, and now the bag is empty, with the same intensity. You can feel it on your skin in a foreign, itching way. You swipe and scoop and work at the spill, and still, he watches. He does not speak.
You survey the houses you’ve managed to finish. They’re pretty, and absolutely competition ready: looping swirls of icing like shingles on the roofs, peppermint chunks all red and white catching light where you’d sprinkled them into the frosting, gumdrops lining the paths true to Taehyun’s own home, and powdered sugar sifted over the entirety of it like snowfall. It’s all great, but there are only four. “What are we supposed to do now?” you say, lips pouty. “That’s all the icing I brought. We literally can’t make any more.” You wipe at a smear on your cheek. How’d that get there? “I think I’m gonna have to come back tomorrow… Can you hold on to the houses for me?”
“Yeah—yeah, sure. Tomorrow,” he says, blinking something away. He straightens. “It’s a long walk. I think you should get going.”
You want to say something snarky or ask him why he wants you out of the house so fast, but it’s true. Night’s creeping over Strawberryland, and you have no icing, and tomorrow’s the last day before the bake-off. If the two of you don’t work harder tomorrow than you did today, then you won’t even make qualifications. You’ll lose before even starting.
You never lose. Not like this, and certainly not to the man standing before you.
ꕀ
“C’mon. You can do better than that, can’t you?” Taehyun says, drooping icing from rooftops like icicles as you sprinkle crushed candies over the top.
You grit your teeth. If he’d been snappy yesterday, he’s made it his mission to be your worst nightmare today. You think it’s his sort of revenge for ordering him around how you did. “What would you like, then?” you say. Maybe it’s feeding right into what he wants, but your life has lent you a short fuse. “You don’t even care about winning. Why does it matter? Let me do it how I want.”
He’s in another sweater. The sleeves are bunched up to the elbow just like yesterday, but you think he’s making a point with it this time. The shifting of his muscles is a bit too intense for piping icing. You’d made it through three more houses, wrangling your inner demons with each passing snide remark or nasty smile the whole time. It doesn’t help that he keeps his home terribly toasty, and you run cold down to the core. You melt and melt until all that is left of your temper is a puddle on the floor beneath you. Gone.
“We’re partners, remember?” he says. He doesn’t even look at you as he says it. “I don’t do things half-assed, Frosty.”
You’re sent reeling with the old nickname. It’d been sweet then, back when it was just the two of you against the world, but now it’s gone sour like milk. It even comes from his mouth soured. It’s something that you thought you’d left a million lifetimes ago, never to hear again. With Taehyun, though, it’s hard to pretend that you are no longer that.
He will not let you forget that, at one point, the two of you were friends. An unlikely pair, especially looking at you now. You thought it was all nothing to you, but seeing him has kicked up dust.
“You don’t?” you say, shooting him a quick glare from the side of your eye. “That’s funny.”
Strong brows shooting up, Taehyun quits mid-piping to look at you. “Funny? What’s funny about it to you?”
You can’t settle the obnoxious smile that curls at the edges of your mouth, mean and taunting and falsely sweet. “Oh, nothing.” You shake a sifter full of powder against your palm. It falls like true snow down over the house.
“No, tell me,” he says, his eyes trained and heavy on your dismissive shrug. “Tell me what you think of me. I wanna hear it.”
Oh, this will be good.
“It’s just that,” you say, “you’re not really known for doing things the best way, you know? Living all the way out here, an ass when anybody tries to talk to you… Well, really, it’s just that nobody likes you. But, don’t worry! I’m sure there’s at least somebody that does.”
His face falls, the twinkle of delight at taunting you that he’d been holding in his eyes gone away. All that’s left is the peaking of something deeper and roiling from out of the cracks. You get the funny feeling that maybe you’ve taken it a step too far.
But, you never lose.
“Is that what it is?” he says. “I work for my shit. You? Everything you’ve ever had has been handed to you.” He measures his words delicately. Like a measuring cup full over the top, he cuts the excess words and coarseness off. He doesn’t say all that he thinks, but you see all he leaves unsaid toiling furiously behind his eyes.
His eyes. They’re clear and, sharp as they are, they pin you. It’s a reflection of that look he gave you yesterday: deep and swirling and wild. It’s more than that, this time, though. It’s laced with anger and bursting at the seams of him. You’re not sure he’ll be able to hold back whatever it is that storms just beneath his skin, this time.
“It is,” you say, punctuation your words concisely. “It’s exactly why my parents said I shouldn’t hang out with you. They said that I’m above… all this.”
Oh, you’ve absolutely taken it too far now. You don’t really mean it. Sure, that’s what they told you, but you don’t really believe it. For some time, you did, but not now. It’s too late for sorries, though. Taehyun’s jaw goes tense.
For a long, awful moment, you just stand there and burn in his silence. It’s worse than any words he might spit. It’s hot—hot, hot, hot, and you turn liquid in it.
In a blink, nothing more, you collide against his countertop. Something clatters and thuds behind you. The gingerbread houses? That doesn’t matter right now—all that your dizzy mind can manage is his body crushing you and his fingers biting into the plush of your cheeks.
Where he had fractured, like true gingerbread, he snaps. You can see it in his eyes; even you know when you’ve pushed too far. Perhaps you ought to have seen this coming.
His knuckles curl white around the edge of the counter beside you, and his fingers dig deeper into your face. He’s oh-so-hot up against you. “I’m sick of your fucking mouth,” he snarls. His breath is hot as it fans over your face, too. “Someone needs to put you in your place. Where are your goddamn manners?”
Your heart thrums in your chest, and your pulse goes wild in your neck. You can’t form the words to answer him.
“Quiet now, huh?” he says. The husk in it makes the place between your thighs feel weird. You don’t know what’s wrong with you.
He shut you up real quick. You’ll give him that.
That funny feeling does flips, roaring to life when his fingers hook under the waistband of your bottoms. “That’s your problem.” His eyes send a chill up and down your spine. “You’ve never been told no. You’ve always gotten what you wanted.” Peeling down all the layers, he tugs your knitted stockings and your little fur skirt, and your sweet frosty panties, too. They bunch at your feet. Between your thighs, right where those foreign, throbbing waves reign, cool air laps at a wetness there. The hair all over your body rises. You’ve never felt anything like it. “Not with me. I'll set you straight. I don’t put up with spoiled brats.”
“I’m not a brat,” you say. “You’re just an ass.” They’re the first words that come to you. Damn your temper.
With the same hand he’d been holding your face in place with, he curls his fingers right into your scalp and yanks hard, baring your neck to him. You lose a strained squeak, tears pricking the corners of your eyes at the sting. If your heart had been racing before, it runs wild, now. You strain your eyes to look at him and his curled lips. Painted with a sneer, he says, “Watch your mouth.”
A swallow goes down your throat hard. It’s all unfamiliar: the aching between your thighs, the burning in your blood, and the dazing of your thoughts. “Taehyun, I… I feel weird. It feels weird.”
Something knowing passes over him. “Yeah?” he says. “Show me where. I can help.”
Show him? You hesitate, searching his eyes for an ounce of joke or aversion. You find none, and that pounding is syrupy-sweet, and he says he can help. That’s all you want; all you need. Taking a trembling hand, you bring it down your body, running the palm down the planes of your belly and resting it just over the spot where the lower bit gives way to the apex of your thighs. Going any further—the thought tightens your throat and pinkens your cheeks the color of strawberry frosting. “There. It feels weird there.”
Taehyun smiles a snappy, spiced smile. He likes that. “Want me to make it feel better?”
Your thoughts feel replaced by something powdery and weightless. You give him a dumb nod.
“Say please.”
Something bratty crawls up your throat, but you want help, and he’s the one who will give it to you. He’d meant that: teaching you a lesson. Melted around the edges already, you say, “Please, help make it feel better.” Your voice wavers.
“There we go. That’s how good girls talk. That’s how you ask to get what you want.” He nudges your thighs apart with a knee and slots it between them, pressed right up against that coolness. Right up against that need. “Grind down on it.”
Neck aching at the angle, you say, “Grind?”
He brushes his clothed thigh right up against you. The friction is delicious—sweet and melty and just what you need. It shoots yellow sparks throughout you.
It feels so good. Your mouth waters in anticipation.
“Grind,” he says. It’s harder, this time. Not a sweet suggestion.
You bring yourself back down on it, gasping at the contact, and you do. You grind, tummy tightening at every brush of the fabric hard and delicious. Your chest constricts, one hand flying up to dig your fingers into his shoulder and the other fighting the hand he has still in your hair. It aches and hurts, and so does the friction as you grow more gaspy and frantic.
It feels so, so good. You want more—you want him to touch you there and everywhere else. He smells just right all over you, nutty and musky like a gingerbread twist. “Taeh—hyun,” you mewl. It burns, but something slick eases the burn a little bit. Just enough for you to enjoy that burn.
“That’s it,” he coos. It’s not a sweet coo; it’s the type of sound one might make when you play right into their mean game. It’s mean. “Make yourself a mess on my thigh. I don’t even have to touch you. What would mommy and daddy think of you now, huh? What would they think if they saw their precious princess fucking herself on my thigh?”
No. That would be the end of you. You whine, thighs twitching. Something twists in your center, scary and foreboding, and still you chase it. None of your thoughts are solid enough to stop. Each time he flexes a muscled thigh or presses it harder into you, you shudder and curl your fingers into his shirt harder.
“Don’t like that, huh?” he laughs. “Then you haven’t learned your lesson. You’re no better than me; I mean, look at you.”
You want to cry when he pins your hips back to the counter, stilling your wild bucking. Squeezing your eyes shut, you claw and reach for that wave, even as it recedes from you. “Why?” you say, voice thin. It’d been so yummy—the sweetness still rests on your tongue. Your heart thumps hard, longing for it.
“I said, look at yourself,” he growls, taking his hold on your hair to crank your head down.
Right where you’d been on his thigh, there’s a sticky, marshmallowy mess. Your mess.
Taehyun releasing his grip on your hair is almost a relief, but he doesn’t even give you time to relish it. The walls of his house blur around you. All that you register in between the motions is his shoulder in your belly and your limbs dangling from you. You dig your hands into his back to balance yourself, but he’s got you.
He has you slung over his shoulder. He’s carrying you like you weigh nothing at all. That place between your thighs flutters anew. In all your life, you never worried too much about the plushness of your belly or your thighs. It is who you are; all mallow and soft around the edges and starkly sweet. But you did get nervous when somebody tried picking you up. Usually, you protest and giggle it off. Watching somebody strain to pick you up when they lift other girls like sacks of flour is just something that makes you feel a little strange.
But, Taehyun does not strain. He doesn’t huff; he carries you right down the hallway and into his room, and he even manhandles you down onto the bed with a bounce without so much as a sound. He is a solid pillar beneath you, and then he is a solid, muscled chest above you. With strong fingers, he pins your hands to the mattress above you. With the other, he leads your shirt up.
He’s so warm against your cold skin. His breath like waves from the oven over your mouth, he says, “You think you’re so much better than me because you have all this?” Curling his fingers around a necklace circling your throat, he tears it off with a clattering of a few snow-drop beads.
You gasp, glaring right into his eyes. “What the hell?” you hiss, arching your chest to wiggle beneath him. Your necklace. Who does he think he is, breaking your stuff? That was one of your favorite necklaces, and now it lies all over his floor. Still, your center pounds and longs for the return of his touch. Everything about him just calls for more from you. You don’t know how you went so long without him, or how you made yourself forget just how drawn you are to his magnetism. Maybe he is just what your parents turn their nose up at, and you too, but that does not make him any less a powerful personality.
He knows exactly who he is and what he wants, as solid as the gingerbread cookie. And you, plush and impressionable as whipped marshmallows, take to him just right. It’s something you once knew, but the sneered words of adults obscured that memory.
“Don’t whine,” he says. “I want to see your pretty neck without all that shit. That’s your problem: you’re spoiled.” He reaches down to mess with his pants.
His length springs free. Cheeks flushing, you take it in. You can’t look away, even as embarrassment crawls spindly legs over your skin at the interest you take in the sight. You’ve never seen anything like it—long and hot and weeping something thick and white from the slit at the pinkish tip. A pearl of it dribbles down, landing on your belly in a string where he holds it.
Taehyun collects that wetness and then urges more from the tip with a few drags down the length of it. Wrapping his fingers around it, he begins to slowly work his fist up and down it. It’s nothing short of impossible to tear your sights off it—it’s another thing that inexplicably fans the flames of something roaring in your center. “Do you want to touch it?” he says, watching your tongue dart out to wet your lips.
The sight of him growing restless over his pumping fist is enough to get you nodding.
“Fuck,” he says, sharp and under his breath. He lets his hand off it. “Go ahead. Touch it. I won’t tell anybody you did.”
When he frees your pinned wrists, you reach out a slow hand. You curl your fingers around it the way he had. Your fingers don’t even touch around jt. The weight and warmth of him in your palm makes your blood tingle. Looking up, you search for guidance in those intelligent, swirling eyes. His bangs hang over his eyes as he watches.
Placing his hand over yours, he drags it up and down his rigid length the way he had been doing a few beats ago. “Like that,” he says. “Just like that.”
You pump your closed fist up and down him, encouraged to squeeze harder and flick your wrist faster with each tight breath he lets slip. The skin of your palm gets stickier and stickier, the slick sounds sending your ears and core burning just the same. You like that it makes him feel good—that he’s making those noises just for you.
He twitches under your fingers. “Feels just like I thought your pretty hands would…” he says, stomach tight. “See—what happens when you give up that bratty fucking act? Shit… harder—give it to me harder, Frosty…” Shivering at the name, you oblige him. You reach your thumb up and collect more of that beaded liquid from the slit, and you work your arm harder. Faster. Your forearm begins to burn, but you don’t let it slow you. All you want is more of this; more of him. Finally, he lets sounds out from his chest freely. He grunts and hisses through his teeth, letting his head fall back. “Holy shit. I’m gonna—gonna ice your face, okay?” he says. “You said you liked the taste, huh? Wanna taste it again? Give me your tongue…”
Whatever that means, you push yourself up and situate your face in front of his length, your tongue out. Taehyun’s sounds tighten, and his hips begin to stutter and chase your hand. He picks his head back up to look down at you half-lidded—to watch. With only a few last runs of your palm down his length, skin so slick that your hand just slips and slides up him, he growls through gritted teeth. The weight of him in your working hand twitches once more, and from that weeping tip he shoots dancing ribbons of white. It lands on your tongue hot and sweet, melting out all spiced and snappy.
Snappy like gingerbread. Like gingerbread icing. Swallowing it down, you meet his gaze. He pants, chest rising and falling, but there’s something clear and knowing in his heavy eyes when you do. You think you know now, why he’d been so dazed as you made a show of licking that same sticky icing off your hands and said how good it tasted.
When you release him from your palm, it glistens with his sweet essence. He softens in front of your eyes just the littlest bit.
Eyes just as hungry and still catching his breath, Taehyun says, “Open your mouth. I wanna see your tongue.”
Belly doing wicked twists, you do. You stick your tongue out for him, still laden with the headiness of his taste. He does taste good.
“Swallowed it all down?” he says, eating the sight of you with your mouth dropped open up. “You really are so nasty. They all think you’re so sweet—you think you’ve got them all wrapped around your finger.” He pushes you back down to the bed with a palm. “Well, not me. I know that you’re just as filthy as you are spoiled. Somebody had to deal with you.”
Like always, snarky words swirl in your mouth. All it would take is letting them fall off your tongue. But you don’t—not with the feeling between your thighs, and not with the way your blood, frost turned to snowmelt, begs for him to fix it. Not when you know that all it will get you is more of Taehyun’s wrath.
It’s not like what he says is true, or anything. That’s what you tell yourself anyway.
“Taehyun, please. I need it…” He takes a marshmallow thigh of yours, pressing it up so that it melds with your belly. Cool air reminds you once more of that strange wetness between them.
Dark, blown eyes catching the sight of it, his lips quirk into a scoff. “Need what?” he says, reaching a hand down. At the contact of his fingers, just as they had against his thigh, your hips jolt and an explosion like the breaking of sugar glass shoots down the muscles of your thighs. He scoops that stickiness up from its source, bringing the soft cream up to his mouth. Tongue darting out, he has a taste of you just as you had tasted him. “Shit—you taste good too, frosty. You’re so sweet, how’d you turn out like this? That’s okay. I’ll deal with you, and then you’ll be just as sweet as you taste.” That fat tip of him presses flush to the source of all your want. “I’ll straighten you out.”
You don’t know what that means, and you are absolutely sure that you don’t deserve it, but any sass is staunched with the utter sweetness of the stretch in your center. Taehyun presses his hips up into you, slowly and internalizing the dropping open of your mouth, the pinching of your brows into a worrying line, and the press of your palms to his broad chest. He takes it and metabolizes it down like cream cake or the plumpest fruits, and he gives you more. More, all the way up until there is no length of him left to give, and nowhere else for him to go.
You feel so, so full. No amount of twinkling jewels or new skirts hold a candle to this. You don’t know what it is, and you don’t know why Taehyun knows, but whatever. Who cares? Breathing out a shudder, you squirm beneath him to search for that dazzling feeling he’d made you feel earlier.
“Stay still,” he barks, steadying himself beside your head with a sturdy, powerful arm. When had he lost his sweater? You don’t know. You might drool over the definition and warm skin there if he didn’t pull the length of him out until just the tip of him threatens to pop out, and then drive right back in before you could. A gaspy breath falls from your mouth, devolving into mewls and whimpers when he does the same over and over and over again, quick with snapping hips and the smacking of his skin against the soft skin of your bottom. Your thigh quivers in his hold, his fingers digging into the fluff of your thigh as he holds you into it.
Each and every time he slides up against something inside you that makes you feel different. Different from what you felt when you were on his thigh, and different from anything else you’ve felt in the entirety of your life. It’s deeper, right at the very bottom of your belly, sending your veins lazy and your hips twitchy. You want to chase it as much as you want to hide from its power, so all you do is stay in a hazy limbo of sharp gasps and long, drawn out mewls for more.
“No,” he says, his face right in yours. The smell of him, manly and so very sweet like oven-warmed gingerbread, settles over your bones and wiggles its way through your thoughts. It does something to your melted mind, planting a need to cling to him right in the center. Your hands perch all over him: the hair at the back of his head, his working waist, his biceps that flex and strain with his effort, and finally around him so that you can push your cheek to his chest and feel his heart racing there. “You’ll take exactly what I give, and thank me for it. You don’t get to ask for more; not with your mouth.”
“Why?” you say, whining. “I want it—so bad. Please? I’ll be so… so good…” Your voice bounces with each collision of your bodies, and your toes flex and curl at the twisting in your core. Nonetheless, you want more. Whatever this is—this syrupy, pure goodness—Taehyun has shown you something that you will never be whole without again. He has bloomed a flower right in the chest of you, something hungry that will want and want this, and you fear that he will be the only one able to satiate it.
The thought of the smile he’ll wear, should you come crawling back to his doorstep just for this…
Taehyun stops, pushing off you with a curled lip. “What will it take to get you to fucking listen?” he says. He pulls himself from you, leaving you to whine and long for that feeling once more. You want to complain and pull him back over you, but with the fire churning in his dark gaze and the sight of his length, covered in that same white, whipped stuff you’d left all over his thigh.
You’d made a sticky, frosty, frothed mess all over him once again. Really, what would people think of you now? Your mom? Your dad?
Manhandling you again, he flips you onto your hands and knees and shoves your face into the bed. Any yelp or gasp that tears from your chest is muffled into the sheets. Taking the swell of your hips, his fingers like bites against the powdery, soft skin there, his voice comes from behind you. “Won’t you just listen to me? If you’re gonna be mine, you’re gonna have to start learning how to hear no.” Curling your hair up and pulling it like a handle, he snaps your head back into another stinging, awful tug. It turns the arch of your back into something that you can imagine is a sight to be seen. If the burning where you feel his eyes raking down the curve of it has something to speak of it, that is. You squeeze your eyes shut as if that’ll help you any. “You don’t get everything you want. That’s not how this works.”
You don’t say anything. You have nothing good or sweet left to say.
“Say thank you, and I’ll give it to you good, okay?” he says, running a flattened hand down your spine. “That’s all I want to hear. Show me you can be good.”
The last thing you want to do is to thank him. That would mean admitting that you’ve lost, and that ruffles your preening feathers. But you want that goodness back, you want his hips snapping into you and that tight knot back in your belly. You’d do anything for it; even forget your ego.
Your mind is gone, anyway. Whatever your rational self would do, it doesn’t matter. There’s one thing that you want right now, and getting it is so easy. “Thank you, Taehyun. Thank you so much… I’m sorry I’ve been a brat, and I’m sorry about what I said to you. Please, just… help me. Please, I need you so bad.”
You? Sorry? It’s absurd, and yet, you entirely mean it. Maybe it’s your lazy brain talking, or maybe he really has won.
“See? So sweet when you act right,” he says. “Let me show you what happens when you do.”
You could cry real tears when he sets that same pace, his hands bracing on your hips to pull you deeper into each thrust and the front of your body bouncing against the sheets with each. Your cries grow hoarse and beyond needy, and your insides twist and turn even more dangerously.
You are on the brink of something divine. Something that will melt down so well, good on the tongue and as smooth as chocolate, but as sharp as the snapping of gingerbread.
And, snap, he has.
“Yes!” you cry, straining your shoulders as you reach behind you and curl your fingers around the place where he meets your skin. “S..So good! Right there—thank you, Taehyun!”
He doubles down on you. His length hits a spongy spot in your core, pounding up against the walls there and turning your insides against you. It’s almost too good. “There we go,” he says, voice shaking with a growl. The delivery of his thrusts grows sloppy. You think he feels just as good as you do. “That’s what—” Falling over you, he supports himself with each strong arm dug into the mattress beside your head, his solid front melded to your soft back. “That’s what I like to hear. Here you go—fuck, I’m gonna give you what good girls get, okay?”
You hope it’s more of that melty icing he shot from his length earlier. The knot in your belly tightens, just on the brink of a glittery, bright explosion. “Mhm!” you say, your voice cracking. You want it—you want it so bad. The intensity of it, turning over in your veins and rendering your thighs jelly, sings in your ears. It’s a frightening greatness, but you rage against the urge to drop your hips into the mattress and run from it. You need to finally taste what you’ve been chasing. “Taehyun! Right there—please, don’t stop!”
You were demanding more from him again, but Taehyun didn’t stop this time. Not when his growls and whines against your shoulder tell you enough about how he’s feeling. He tongues and nips at your shoulders, the only sounds echoing off the walls of his room, the hollow smack of his hips against your bottom, and the only smell of the sweet mingling of his gingerbread sharpness against your heady marshmallow. It’s good enough to eat.
Crying out with a frantic whine, the feeling deep in your belly changes once more, and you’re writhing and squirming against him. Your hips buck and chase and run, wild and just as explosively as the tightness shooting down your thighs and up through your lower back.
Everywhere. You feel it everywhere. It’s in the continued bouncing of your body, in each nudge of his tip to a sweet, spongecake spot deep inside you, in his breathless pants into your skin, and in the curling of his fingers into your hair when he releases a hip to do so, and in your pleads when he chases his own delicious release. Your throat tightens, and suddenly the sheets are all too warm around you, and you realize with blistering intensity that another one of those knots builds up in your belly. It’s quicker, short, and bright. You’ve barely even made it through the last, but still, it comes.
“Holy shit,” he growls, hips stuttering and then stilling. He reaches a hand down between your thighs and finds a very sweet button. The breath in your throat catches, and in nothing more than a blink of an eye, you crash again, and then your bodies are two twitching, elated things. He presses himself impossibly deeper into you before shooting that same hotness, sweet ropes of sugary icing right into you, and your fluttering insides hold him tight and eat it up. Your heart pounds in your chest, running amok in your ears and your neck, and you try to catch running breaths to no avail.
Occasionally grinding up into you, though there is hardly any space between your joined bodies to do so, Taehyun shoots more lazy spurts for a few long moments. His breaths slow against your skin, and yours do in your chest. Slowly, you recover as two entangled bodies, all clammy and melted like left in the oven for a bit too long.
Pressing hot, wet kisses to the back of your neck, and then down your spine when he pushes off you and pulls himself out, his tongue darting out against your skin for some, he says, “Taste so good… So sweet, even on your skin…” He brushes the wild tangles of hair from your face and adds, “I wonder if you’ve gone all sweet inside, too? You look like it…” The mess of you, your thick creaminess staining your thighs and his runny load pooling from your hole, is all over. It even makes the sheets beneath you dirty with dribbles of his release as it drips. “I told you I’d get you sweet.”
If that sluggish, sugary thing moving through your veins is sweetness taking over you from the inside, perhaps you have gone sweet. Or, perhaps you now have every reason to become his worst nightmare—just if it gets you this.
You’ll play sweet for now. The softer kisses he seasons your skin with are no less enthralling than the delightful goodness still ebbing away between your thighs. You think that, for the first time, you have lost.
And, to your very own dismay, it tastes so very sweet.
... back to the masterlist ⌇ back to strawberryland
✎୭ ashlynn's note BRAT TAMER TAEHUN, amirite?
﹙📋﹚ @lvrs-street2mmorrow , @soohashits , @f4iryfever , @arcturus444 , @linqed , @serenityism00 , @immelissaaa , @luv4cheol , @20-cms , @hhoneylix , @beestvng , @hyucktapes , @bewitchless , @prince-jjae , @blankliving , @yaoizee , @stormy1408 , @missychief1404 , @izzyy-stuff , @miukuui , @lunesdesire , @304files , @sunoolver , @cherricola-star , @lickingan0rchid , @xylatox , @hmusunoo , @izzyy-stuff , @beomiracles , @joycelyjjj , @sunoolver , @lvrs-street2mmorrow , @apeachty , @fandomtrashsblog , @bewitchless , @yezzns2 , @hhoneyhan , @ethystclove , @darkdayelixer , @calumcxke , @biteyoubiteme , @bamgeutsz , @soobabby , @little-shiny-starr , @bambammtori , @bunniebun-posted , @heeambi , @bunnisoobin , @hwanghyunjinismybae if your tag isn't working, check the mentions part of your settings!
#꒰🥮꒱ ࣭ ٫ ashlynn’s twelve days of christmas#txt smut#txt fanfiction#txt fic#txt ff#txt hard hours#txt hard thoughts#txt au#taehyun x you#taehyun ff#taehyun smut#taehyun fanfiction#taehyun fanfic#taehyun x reader#taehyun hard thoughts#moablr#txt x reader#txt fanfic#fem reader txt#txt imagines#taehyun hard hours#kpop smut#kpop ff#kang taehyun smut#kang taehyun brat tamer#kang taehyun ff#kang taehyun fanfic#txt brat tamer#txt christmas#txt christmas smut
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Golden Light // H.S.
synopsis: you go on a blind date with Harry at your best friend's insistence and enjoy it much more than you expected.
wc: 3.9k
a/n: i hope you guys enjoy this! i haven't written fic in a hot minute, so let me know what you think! this will likely have a part 2 where the exciting stuff happens, but writing even this much took me forever so i wanted to share before the Christmas mentions became irrelevant, lol!
The streets of New York City are beautiful this time of year. Christmas lights twinkle in nearly every retail storefront, some even including a dusting of ripped-up cotton balls and other snow-like materials. Just ignore the grey sludge coating the streets.
You were never one for holiday cheer, and today was no exception. Despite thinking the same of every single day, you’ve had what you would consider the longest day of your life. Your first meeting ran late by just a few minutes, but even this was enough to push your calendar so far off that you needed to reschedule your final call with the client you’d been waiting almost a month to meet with.
There was nothing more in this world you wanted to do than curl up in bed with a bottle of wine and a silk eye mask. But, here you were, trudging down the streets of New York City in your slightly uncomfortable heels, trying to dodge puddles, slush, and other mysterious substances on the sidewalk, on your way to a blind date. Emma had set you up with a friend of her boyfriend’s, and she’d made you promise you’d give him a chance.
Your last relationship had ended with a bang after you went to his apartment to surprise him after getting out of work early one afternoon, only to find him in bed with a blonde girl you never did learn the name of.
You could easily find a man to wake up to the next morning, but after years of running your own business, it wasn’t as simple as walking into a bar to meet Mr. Right. You’d dated enough men with little ambition; you needed someone who had drive– had success.
All you knew about your date for the night was his name was Harry, he was a record executive, and, according to Emma, he was hot.
The pit in your stomach only grew as you approached Bella Napoli. It didn’t help you’d spent the last six blocks trying to lift your dress and nearly-floor-length coat high enough to keep it out of the puddles.
The little blue location dot on your maps app glided closer to the restaurant with each step you took, nearly there - mist ghosted over your nose with each exhale, doing nothing to keep it warm in the frigid weather of the city, and you couldn’t wait to get inside.
Finally, you spotted the marquee sign affixed to the small brick building half a block up, signaling the end of your journey. The glass-front double doors opened easily under your hasty pull, eager to feel the heat of the brick building’s furnace.
“Good evening, ma’am,” the hostess greeted from behind her podium. She appeared to be in her early twenties, with long blonde hair and prominent cheekbones.
“Good evening, I have a reservation under (Y/L/N),” you brushed stray snowflakes off of your wool coat. Emma had ensured she would let Harry know the reservation would be under your name, and you hoped she hadn’t forgotten.
“Ah, yes, table for two? Right this way.” The young woman stepped from behind the podium and began heading toward the main dining area. You followed her as she snaked around the tables full of affluently dressed couples and businessmen in suits, reaching a small archway leading into a more dimly-lit section of the restaurant.
She led you to a booth in the corner with velvet seats and matching curtains, held open by small hooks on either side - out of sight from most of the other patrons in the section, who didn’t seem to be paying any mind to you anyway. A small candle sat between two menus, adjacent to a traditional silverware layout and an empty highball glass on either side of the booth.
You slid onto the bench facing the room’s entrance as the hostess filled each glass with ice water. She nodded as you thanked her and informed her a man by the name of Harry should be arriving soon to join you. Just in case Emma had forgotten.
The menu was short but obviously well-curated. The wine list was almost twice the length of the food menu - just how you liked it. You skimmed the offerings, deciding on a merlot of the second-highest price point. Your anxiety still made itself known in the way your stomach was twisting. You checked the time. It was 5:58 pm - still two minutes early. You hoped the wine would drown the butterflies (or maybe moths) in your stomach.
Your eyes returned to the restaurant’s food offerings but were again drawn upwards as another person sauntered into the secluded section of the restaurant. His pale grey, half-unbuttoned silk shirt settled just under the gold cross necklace grazing the indent between his pecs. A blazer of a much darker grey draped his shoulders, matching the straight-legged trousers just long enough to only allow the front of his patent-leather black loafers to peek out from under them.
The air suddenly felt heavy, like you couldn’t get a breath in. Who is the lucky lady he’s here with tonight? Your eyes darted around the section, trying to find his date, but coming up empty.
Shit, is this Harry?
Your fears are confirmed as you realize the hostess had entered the room a bit ahead of him and was leading him to your booth. The poor girl looked entirely flustered.
“Here you are, sir. Your waitress will be over shortly to grab your drink orders,” she squeaked, turning on her heels and scurrying away as quickly as possible.
You smiled at him as you shuffled out of the booth and rose to your feet, trying to seem much more confident than you were. You reached about the height of his shoulder in your heels.
“You must be (Y/N),” he spoke with a slight smile, glancing at your attire before returning his eyes to meet yours.
“That would be me. And you must be Harry.” You smiled back at him, subconsciously smoothing out the part of the dress resting on your hips.
Harry took a step toward you with arms extended, pulling you into an easy hug, His arms wrapped tightly around your shoulders and yours around his waist. He smelled like an intoxicating mix of vanilla, patchouli, and musk. Expensive. Even just brushing your fingers across his suit jacket as he pulled away, the feel of the fibers suggested it had also not been cheap.
“You look stunning. I love the color of your dress,” he complimented, pulling back slightly with his hand hovering over your waist. “It looks great on you.”
“Thank you, it was actually a gift from my mother.” Compliment-taking was not your forte.
“Well, she has great taste. Shall we?” He motioned toward the set table, waiting for you to take your seat before sliding into the bench on the opposite side. “Have you been here before?”
“I haven’t, but I’ve heard great things. Have you?” His ring-clad fingers picked up the beverage menu in front of him as you spoke.
“I have, it’s one of my favorites.” That must have been why he suggested it.
“Is the Merlot any good? That’s what I was thinking of ordering, but I’m open to suggestions.” You played with the seam of your dress under the table absentmindedly.
“Now that, I haven’t had. I’m more of a white wine guy myself. I’m a fan of the Riesling.”
“Really? My first guess would have been whiskey, honestly.” There exists a pattern in these kinds of men - they always drank some very expensive whiskey they needed to tell you all about, as if it didn’t taste like smoke-flavored lighter fluid.
“I tend to prefer a sweeter taste,” his eyebrows twitched as he raised the glass of water to his lips. You nodded before the two of you fell into a comfortable silence, taking time to browse the food menu.
It wasn’t very extensive, with a few choices to pick from each protein category. You settled on a grilled chicken tagliatelle with a cream sauce, hoping it would pair well with the wine.
“Hi, my name is Danielle and I’ll be taking care of you this evening,” a voice burst your bubble of concentration, “have we decided on what we’d like to drink?”
You recited your wine order first, with Harry following shortly after. The waitress jotted down your selections in her notepad before exiting the room with a promise to be back to take your food orders shortly.
“So, Emma said you work in marketing?” he spoke slowly. His accent was thick, only further drawing you into the conversation.
“PR, actually,” you replied, “I have my own firm, with a few employees. I love it.”
“That’s amazing,” he sounded sincere. “How long have you been in PR?”
“Almost a decade, but I’ve had the firm for a little over 3 years. At first, it was just myself operating out of my apartment, but we’ve been able to build up some clientele and move to an actual office space. Emma said you work for Atlas Sound, right?” you shifted the conversation away from yourself, curious about what exactly came with being a record executive.
“That’s right. I’m mostly in charge of production but I help out with some of the publishing aspects as well.”
“Ah, so no talent scouting? I was hoping this could be my big break…” you mused, narrowing your eyes at him. Harry chuckled, flashing the smile you’d found yourself dead set on seeing more of.
“No, no, unfortunately, that’s not me, but I may know some people who could help. Let me guess, rap?”
You almost choked on the water you’d just taken a sip of, but managed to swallow it before the laugh burst from your throat. It caught you off guard - Harry honestly didn’t look like he would even know what rap is. A silly notion, given his career, but true anyway.
“You have a beautiful laugh,” Harry stated sincerely, and your heart just about stopped.
Before you got the chance to respond, a full wine glass was placed in front of each of you. You hadn’t even noticed the waitress had come back. “Here are those drinks. Did we decide on what we’d like to eat? I can make some suggestions if you’re not sure what to get…”
It appeared as if she’d forgotten you were even in the room with the way she was staring directly at Harry. You couldn’t blame the girl - you’d been staring too - but she could definitely tell the two of you were on a date, so she could have at least been a little more subtle.
Harry smiled politely (and briefly) at her before turning his attention back to you to confirm you were ready to order. You both relayed your choices to the waitress, and you appreciated that Harry did not seem like he was interested in entertaining her advances.
“Anyways, where were we…” he smiled again, and your heart lurched.
Conversation flowed smoothly between the two of you, aided by the wine in your glasses. You found yourself getting less and less nervous about him not being the right fit, but more and more nervous you were somehow making a fool of yourself.
The story of how one of your interns accidentally jammed the copier so badly you had to buy a completely new unit made Harry laugh loudly. It was one of many stories you had from your job that were definitely funnier in retrospect than they were as they happened. You were aware you’d talked a lot so far, but you couldn’t help it. The way Harry spoke was attractive, but the way he listened was even better. He seemed genuinely interested in the stories you told, maintaining eye contact, nodding in the right spots, and asking thoughtful follow-up questions. It had been a while since you’d had a date genuinely listen to you, and it was refreshing.
He asked more about your job, and you found yourself telling him how as much as you like being “in charge” and able to have control over your firm, sometimes it was incredibly stressful, especially in emergencies. He could see the stress that followed you home every day seep back into your expression, despite you trying your best not to let it show.
His ring-clad hand slid across the table, fingers gently entwining with yours and giving them a quick squeeze.
“You know, I think you’re brave for taking that risk. You should be proud of what you’ve built.” The eye contact he made with you as he spoke was intense, with sincerity behind his words. His hand was warm, contrasting the cool feeling of the metal rings, and you subconsciously squeezed it back in an attempt to keep it where it was. Luckily, your hands stayed intertwined for another couple of minutes as you expressed your appreciation for his kindness and shifted the conversation back to his job until your food was in front of you.
The meals were delicious, just as Harry had promised. He’d ordered a mushroom risotto that looked delicious, and your pasta tasted perfect with the wine you’d chosen. Good job, self.
Soon, you found your plate nearly empty and your body warm from the alcohol. Your thoughts felt slightly fuzzy, and you caught yourself staring a little too long at the rings on Harry’s right hand, as well as the fingers adorning them. The muscles flexed as he moved his hands while speaking, and you couldn’t seem to tear your eyes away. You knew how his hand felt in yours, but how would it feel touching your cheek, against your back, gripping your -
“Did you save room for dessert? The tiramisu is incredible.” Harry’s voice broke your train of thought, and you quickly averted your eyes back to his. What seemed like a slight smirk played on his face, but you couldn’t tell if it was because he’d noticed the staring, or if the alcohol was just affecting him as well. You prayed for the latter.
“That sounds great, but I can probably only take a few bites. Would you want to share a piece?” you suggested, much too full for an entire dessert to yourself.
“I’d love to.” Harry absentmindedly tapped his fingers against the table in a rhythm you couldn’t place, not helping your attempts not to stare. “So, tell me more about that yoga class?”
The conversation flowed again, with Harry ordering dessert when the waitress stopped by. Of course, you were just as interested in his words as he was in yours, hanging on his every accented sentence. He was a captivating storyteller and his facial expressions were no different - you loved how his eyes lit up at the good parts and narrowed at the bad in the story. The slight scruff on his face complimented the way his mouth moved as it formed words, drawing you closer. How would they feel against your own lips, you wondered?
You could hear the words he was saying, but you weren’t fully listening as he continued telling you about the time he got a little too drunk at a friend’s birthday party and ended up volunteering to give a speech he had in no way prepared for. It was a great story, very funny, but your mind was otherwise preoccupied. Wine always made you… flirty.
Soon, the tiramisu was in front of you. This, too, looked delicious - Harry was right again.
“Would you like the first bite?” He offered, picking up one of the small forks laid out on the plate and scooping a bite of the dessert onto it.
“Well, ladies first I suppose,” you joked. You parted your mouth slightly as you leaned forward, waiting for him to place the fork on your tongue. What you weren’t expecting was for his other hand to reach out and lightly grasp your jaw, thumb on your chin to hold your mouth farther open. A choked gasp escaped your lips at the same time the sweet cake hit your tongue, but you could barely taste it, too distracted by the skin contact. Again, his eyes didn’t leave yours as he allowed your mouth to close and pulled his hand away from your face.
“Well? How is it?” he asked, with a definite smirk this time.
You tried to compose yourself before answering, swallowing the dessert and the lump that had formed in your throat. “It’s good… really good.” Your voice came out breathier than you intended, and you blinked heavily a couple of times, trying to kickstart the part of your brain that could think of anything except what you’d like to do with the gorgeous man sitting in front of you.
Harry took his own bite next, letting his eyes flutter shut as his mouth closed around the fork. His long eyelashes rested atop his strong cheekbones, the same ones you almost had to physically stop yourself from reaching over to brush your fingertips over. His lips were a stunning, dark shade of red, still slightly wet from the wine he’d been enjoying.
His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed the bite, slightly brushing against the collar of his shirt. Seafoam green eyes made contact with yours as he opened them again, and a small smile graced his face as he realized you’d been watching him intently.
“You’re right, it is really good.” Your heart raced under the fervency of his gaze. He was staring into you like he wanted to read the thoughts echoing in your brain. “Would you like another bite?”
“Sure, but I can feed myself this one if you like,” you attempted to lighten the intense mood that had befallen your booth so you might actually be able to catch your breath,
“That won’t be necessary, I was quite enjoying myself,” Harry mused, refusing to break eye contact until you did. He scooped another bite onto the fork, reaching over to brush a stray strand of hair behind your ear before resuming his grip on your jaw and returning the fork to your lips. He felt your jaw flex as you chewed and swallowed the bite, but didn’t take his hand off of your face. Instead, he brought his thumb back to your lips and brushed below them gently, careful not to smudge your lipstick.
He brought his thumb back to his mouth and slowly closed his lips around the pad of it, a half-smile tugging at his lips at your bewildered expression. “Sorry, you had a little something there. I figured I’d get it for you.”
You nodded, taking a deep breath instead of attempting to utter a response.
He took another bite himself before offering you another, which you obliged with little hesitation.
“You know, Harry, you need to be careful feeding me like this or I’ll get used to it.” Another feeble attempt to ease the tension and stop acting like a flustered teenager.
“I wouldn’t mind that,” he murmured, voice sincere and slow, laced with something that sent a shiver down your spine, “if it means I keep getting to see your cheeks flush.”
He’d noticed how your body was responding to him, whether or not you tried to hide it. Your face burned again, sinking further into the booth behind you in slight embarrassment.
“Well, it doesn’t help that I’m on a date with an attractive man who’s feeding me tiramisu. I think that’s every woman’s dream.”
“So it’s working?” His face glowed in the candlelight, a smirk on his face but a subtle vulnerability behind his eyes.
You knew what he was implying, but wanted to regain some of the power you’d lost by being so flustered. “Maybe.”
“That’s not good enough for me. I need a yes.” He needed confirmation that you were on the same page.
“And what exactly am I saying yes to?” A sip of wine ran down your throat as you awaited his response.
“To letting me walk you home after this,” Harry stated bluntly, scanning your face for your reaction. You couldn’t help the way your face flushed, but you held your composure, leaning back casually against the booth behind you as you pretended to mull it over. You already knew what you wanted.
“Alright, Harry,” you smirked, bringing the wine glass to your lips once more, “let’s see where the night takes us.”
- - - - - - - - - -
“God, it’s freezing out here,” you groaned, dodging patches of ice. You were nearly home, your apartment building visible up the street.
Harry had grabbed your hand under the guise of keeping it warm a few minutes ago, something you were grateful for now as you gripped it tightly, trying to navigate the snow-covered ground in heels with little traction. He’d offered to call an Uber, but you wanted some more time with him without a driver listening in on your conversation.
As you approached the building, your imagination ran with thoughts of getting him upstairs, into your apartment, into your living room…
Before you could get too far, you were at the front door. Your free hand patted over the pockets of your jacket to ensure that you had your keys and found them in your left pocket.
“I had a great time with you tonight, Y/N,” Harry turned to face you, not letting go of your hand. “I’d love to do this again, sometime, if you’d be interested.”
A slight flush now graced his face, glancing at the ground as he awaited your response.
“I had a lovely time. I’d love to see you again,” you confirmed quickly, not letting him worry for too long.
He was beaming now, allowing you to admire his prominent dimples. Your heart skipped a beat and you couldn’t help but smile right back at the sight.
“There’s that beautiful smile again,” he quipped. His free hand reached for your jaw, cradling it again as you both continued to grin at each other for a few moments. A silence fell upon you again, and Harry’s eyes searched yours for a second before flickering to your lips, which had slowly returned to a resting state. As he moved his gaze back up, your eyes gleamed with the reflections of Christmas lights and were swimming with the need for more contact with him. He inhaled slowly, nervously, before exhaling sharply. “Can I kiss you?”
You nodded quickly, gripping his collar to pull him closer before his mouth met yours. Electricity sparked between the two of you, his luscious lips colliding with yours over and over again, like he couldn’t get enough of you. The kiss started slow, but quickly became deeper, more desperate, as he gripped your waist tightly and pulled you close to him. Your hands searched for solace, moving from his collar to his cheeks before lightly running through the hair at the back of his neck.
He tore his lips away from yours but didn’t stray far, pressing his forehead against yours as you both tried to catch your breath. You could see both of your small pants in the air as they fogged due to the cold. A small smile played on each of your lips, and you just knew your lipstick was half-gone because you could definitely see some of it on Harry.
“You know,” you pulled away, straightening your stance confidently, “I have a bottle of wine upstairs if you’d like to help me drink it.”
Harry grinned. “I would love to.”
#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles fanfic#harry styles x reader#harry styles x fem!reader#harry styles imagine#harry styles fic#harry styles one shot#harry styles x y/n#harry x y/n#harry x you#harry styles#hs1#hs2#hs3#one direction#harry#haz
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CHAPTER THREE PT. II: DIMINISHED CAPACITY ❀ HIGURUMA SENSEI SERIES
masterlist link | mdni! | oopsie, is that... a special banner? gee I wonder if there's something to see at the end of this chapter, huh?
❀ diminished capacity.
Diminished capacity refers to an individual’s impossibility to form the intent necessary for committing any criminal act, because their capacity to fully comprehend the nature of their actions is impaired. It doesn’t, however, completely exclude their responsibility, and they may be held accountable to a lesser offense.
wc: 5.5K ❀ pairing for the series: professor!higuruma x student!reader
❀ tags and c/w.
non-curse au. college au. slow-burn romcom. professor and college student pre-relationship. internship interviews suck. nobara likes to steal food from people. mentions of hypothetical violent crime. nanami gets pestered by gojo even here. higuruma likes sunflowers. nanami has a sixth sense.
❀ notes etc.
Apologies to any colleagues reading the word “evidence” in place of “proof” and feeling like tackling me with a broom, lol. Also, a huge thanks to everyone who came around for part one, I hope you guys get to enjoy reading this just as much I enjoyed writing it.
Argh… Monday.
Internship hunt was hell. There was no other way to spin that wheel. You knew it’d be incredibly hard, but not this hard.
Mondays were cursed days, but to know that not only cursed, they’d also start with terrible interviews — plural — was not in your bingo card for this week. Between oh, you just started criminal law I this semester? and we will let you know laid the crumbling sounds of your utmost despair of knowing full well you were in for a ride for those next few days.
Well, if only daydreaming about him could save you.
It didn’t, though.
Unfortunately.
You arrived at the campus cafeteria where you were supposed to meet Nobara. Even on a fairly uncomfortable chair, she slouched nearly enough to slide down onto the ground like a rag doll, and it didn’t take you much to realize these past few days were throwing her through the wringer too.
“You look like death,” you joked as you pulled your chair to sit with her, putting your tuna sandwich and can of soda over the table.
“And you look like… like… hmph,” she scoffed while rolling her eyes and propping herself back up again.
“No snarky comeback? Are you that tired?”
“Leave me alone,” she replied, and apparently, she really wasn’t in the mood for playful banter. You took a bite out of your sandwich, pondering if you should ask her about it, but she beat you to it. “Why is getting internships this early in college is so damn hard?”
“Apparently, places don’t trust complete newbies or youngsters,” you noted, “and they want someone who has already studied all the necessary subjects prior to hiring. Also, people with prior experience are preferred.”
“Yet these are internship opportunities! Aren’t interns supposed to be newbies who are going to learn from the experience they’ll get through the internship?” Nobara irritatedly inquired, her implied commentary more a complaint than a question. You nodded.
“Absolutely. It makes no sense, it’s like they’re just trying to hire a junior lawyer with less rights and a lower pay rate,” you churned out through your mouthful of tuna and mayonnaise, “now that I think about it, it’s probably that, actually.”
“I can’t go back home! I mean, I made it all the way here. If I had to go back I would never get over this. I need some money, and I need some money soon, otherwise this will all just have been a waste of my time. I should just get a part time job already instead of insisting in starting my internship as fast as possible.”
Nobara covered her face, and she sounded genuinely upset. You paused your munching for a bit, and after washing it all down with a few gulps of soda, you leaned towards her, pulling her hands from her face.
“Hey, Nobara, we’re not letting that happen, okay? Neither me, Maki, Yuuji or Megumi.” you offered in an attempt to comfort her. She let you peel her palms away, and gazed at you in a mixture of frustration and anger, which softly subsided after your comment. You decided to push your luck, just a bit. “We can refugee you in Megumi’s car. We’ll get you a hammer so you can hit passerbies for shits and giggles to let some collegiate steam out.”
Consternated, she shook your hands off of her while you chuckled. She made her best effort to still look pissed, but you noticed a tiny smile forming on the edges of her mouth.
“That’s a shit plan, but I’ll take you up on that hammer offer,” she said, and you smiled at her, a gesture she finally reciprocated.
“I’d expect no less from you. So, tell me, in which area are you looking for internships? Fashion law?”
“Nope, entertainment.” Nobara picked your half eaten sandwich in her hands and took a bite before you could protest. “Maki had told me it was easier to get internships in entertainment law to garner some experience for a future in fashion law, but honestly? I’m skeptical now.”
“There might be some openings soon. Have you tried Professor Gojo’s firm? It’s the same as Professor Nanami’s, isn’t it? I mean, that giant firm with dozens of departments and that nearly every teacher at our college seems to work for.” You stretched your hand to get your sandwich back, but she slapped you away. “Hey!”
“I need it more than you, I’m sad!”
“I’m sad too! I had four terrible internship interviews today, give it back!”
You both entered a silly slapping match, and the few people walking past the table would look away nervously in fear of getting dragged into the middle of whatever war was going on over a cheap cafeteria tuna sandwich.
“You were having interviews today too?! How come you never told me?! I’m gonna eat your food for not telling me stuff, you’ve been weird ever since that party that you went off for a smoke and dipped!” She took another humongous bite and you jumped over the table, finally snatching whatever remained of your food out of her hands.
“I haven’t been weird!” you had, “and yes, I did. I am interviewing for internship openings in criminal law, but… well, you’ve been through that these days yourself. You know the drill.”
She grunted with tuna smeared around her mouth, trying to reach for the rest of your sandwich, and it was your turn to slap her.
“Stop it, Nobara. Quit being so stingy and buy one for yourself!”
“Not when I can eat your food for free,” she joked while taking a big gulp from your soda can, and you sighed, which only gave her a shit eating grin. “Did you interview for that spot they announced today?”
“What? What opening?”
“I just saw it, there was a new flyer on the main hall board. It’s an internship for criminal law, apparently under the guidance of Professor Geto,” Nobara said while shrugging. “Apparently the huge firm now has a criminal law department too. It was announced last week or so.”
“Did it say up until when they were taking applications?”
***
Each and every tendon in your body tensed as you sat with the perfect lady-like crossed ankles at the 45º angle under your second-hand suit. The meeting room was, for the lack of a better word, mighty, having an entire glass wall peering into the rest of the office, and towered over you high enough to have you feeling like a tiny speck of dust humbly drifting its way over the clearly expensive brown, leather couch. A few people walked by as you waited, and the mahogany table seemed big enough to fit three people. It was probably worth your entire year’s tuition, and you wondered if the ceiling height really needed to be tailored for elves. Or ents. Tree people, perhaps.
The firm’s name hung high right in front of you, the logo and letters made out of stainless steel illuminated by LEDs behind it. Opulence wasn’t a big enough word to describe that pompous display of corporate wealth.
You were fished out of your rags to riches daydreams by the pivoting door opening, figuring it was your interviewer for the position.
Surprisingly, it wasn’t the already well-known foxy-eyed, long haired Professor to come in, but a much more stoic individual with the polar opposite for a hair, not only in length but in color too. You already knew him from afar, as your commercial law Professor. He carried himself in a dignified manner, and upon further inspection, not only was his navy blue suit absolutely pristine, he also didn’t have a single hair strand out of place. You got up to greet him, bowing respectfully, and he returned the gesture.
“Good afternoon, Mrs.,” he said as he sat down on his chair across from you, “my name is Nanami Kento and I’ll be responsible for your interview today.”
You introduced yourself, and remarked, “apologies, but I thought Prof- I mean, Mr. Geto would be the one responsible for this interview today.”
“As it stands currently, the criminal law department is my responsibility,” Nanami clarified, “so I decided I’d be the one responsible for interviewing our future team. I currently work in our corporate law department.”
You acquiesced with a professional smile. Something about how every tiny detail in him was on point gave you enough leads to conclude that of course this man took it upon himself to be the one responsible for the interviews.
“I’ve read in your resume that you are currently undertaking criminal law I and criminal procedure law I,” Nanami said as he held your resume in his hand, glancing at you and then at the paper, “which isn’t ideal for an intern entering a newly built department.”
Harsh enough?
You readjusted yourself on your chair before speaking.
“Yes, I am.”
He hummed quietly and pulled another paper sheet from his briefcase, and even if his facial expression was perfectly collected, something about how the edges of his lips curled gave away that he was less than happy about whatever was written on it.
“Our HR insisted I should bring this questionnaire with me today, so that I could ask you this list of questions as part of our interview,” he stated, his words followed by a quiet sigh. Nanami then proceeded to tilt the paper towards him and took a moment before proceeding. “Tell me more about yourself in three… captivating anecdotes.”
His voice sounded robotic, as if he was feigning not to loathe the question at hand, and deep down, you did find it amusing. Not enough to distract yourself from the fact that you were usually horrible at interviews altogether, though.
“I’m currently in my late twenties. I started law school last year, and worked during my early twenties to save money for tuition. I’m really passionate about criminal law, that is why I applied.”
Oh, God. What was that?
Well, you sounded robotic too, listing off obvious factualities as if providing a recipe’s ingredients. Both of you stared at each other in silence, wondering if that was what this question was supposed to infer, and it took the two of you so long to speak up again that it became uncomfortable.
Clearing his throat, Nanami unconsciously loosened his tie — barely — before continuing.
Well, at least I’m not the only one who’s uncomfortable.
“What…” he paused for a moment, and seemed to be biting down a discontented sigh, “animal would you be?” His gaze quickly darted down the sheet of paper, and his displeasure was palpable. For someone with such a straight face, his eyes were very telling.
What are these questions? Are we a hip tech company? Nanami thought to himself, wondering if he should make a new list to leave at HR. He was quick to discard the thought once he realized that meant he’d be telling other people how to do their jobs, something he did enough of already.
You didn’t quite know what the hell to answer.
“I… don’t know? I haven’t really thought about that in my life? A cat, perhaps?”
“I haven’t thought about that either, don’t worry, that’s unimportant. Let’s move on to the next question. How…” Nanami lifted an eyebrow, and that alone was enough to tell he was absolutely consternated, “many basketballs can fit inside a bus?”
“… Huh?”
Is this serious?
“I apologize, I believe there must have been some sort of mix-up at the HR, let me…”
Nanami was interrupted by three knocks on the glass wall. You both turned your heads to see Professor Gojo pointing at something — the paper Nanami held in his hands — while subsequently making a thumbs up, a wide grin smeared all over his face.
Without uttering a word nor missing a beat, Nanami got up, walked towards the glass and pulled on something you hadn’t yet noticed. Immediately, blinds slowly descended in front of the glass wall, and Nanami calmly walked his way back to his chair as Gojo’s face tried to keep peering inside the meeting room, descending alongside the rim of the blinds. He kept plastering his hands over the glass like a mimic.
A faint pained moan and a thud echoed once the blinds were about a foot away from reaching the floor.
“Is everything okay?” you inquired, pointing at Gojo’s direction.
“Ignore that.”
That wasn’t a request. You nodded.
“Yes, sir.”
“Perfect. Let’s also ignore this for a while,” Nanami remarked while putting the sheet of questions aside with his fingertips as if it was radioactive. “Let’s try something else.”
Nanami had this feeling — a familiar one — that he’d be able to pry from you what he needed to know if he went about this interview in a more practical fashion. It reminded him of someone, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on it.
“I’m going to describe a hypothetical scenario, and I want you to debate it with me,” he stated.
“Okay.”
“A client comes to this office being investigated of homicide and he wants to hire the firm to represent them in Court. They intend to plead not guilty.” you nodded, and Nanami continued, “The victim was shot, but there was no gun to be found in the crime scene. However, the client was the only person in the vicinity apart from the victim’s body. The client’s clothes — a long sleeved shirt and jeans — are evidence that has been collected at the crime scene, but no forensics were requested for it by the prosecution. When questioned in their first meeting, the client is adamant that they did not commit the crime. The attorney needs to decide which path to take regarding evidence they’ll request or submit. Now, I ask you, which type of evidence would the attorney request if the client is truly innocent?”
You took a deep breath while mentally going over the hypothetical scenario Nanami had just relayed, and considering all he mentioned, there was only one possibility.
“If my client was truly innocent, I’d ask for forensic evidence on their clothes. Guns leave gunpowder vestiges on things like clothes, so if this person didn’t actually pull the trigger, there should be no gunpowder on their sleeves.”
Nanami acquiesced, but remained silent.
Ok, this is not the only thing he wants to know.
“Also… I’d tell exactly that to the client.”
Nanami’s face remained completely expressionless, but something about how he tilted his head less than an inch gave you the feeling that he seemed pleased with your answer.
“And why would you do that?”
“We need to work with accurate information. If the client was lying, and we submitted a request for that evidence — forensics on their clothes — we’d be tanking their defense. They need to know what we’ll be submitting as evidence and why. I believe telling that to our client would be enough to sway them into telling us the truth,” you sighed, before concluding, “people lie. Even when they shouldn’t.”
Nanami silently picked your resume back into his hands, and seemed to scan it quickly with his eyes. You knew your chances were slim, considering you had just started Criminal Law that very semester, something he didn’t fail to notice.
After a minute, he spoke again.
“Would you be willing to use some of your spare time to study topics you might not have seen yet in criminal law?”
“Yes.”
Your heart was thumping in your chest. This was it.
Here goes nothing.
“Then, it’s settled. Can you start on Monday?”
***
This wasn’t Higuruma’s usual go-to wish when he found himself behind the Passo’s wheel, but truth of the matter was, he hoped more than anything for his car to breakdown before he got to his destination. It wasn’t something completely out of the question considering his car’s track record, but as if some destiny’s mockery had been bestowed upon him that morning, even the clack-clack-clacks he was already used to hear for the past three months were gone. As Murphy’s Law would have it, the Passo glided over the asphalt like butter.
“Of course you won’t fail me when I need you to, you unreliable piece of-”he muttered to himself under a discontented huff.
Put upon wasn’t strong enough to convey how Higuruma was feeling, his knuckle-white grip around the steering wheel being enough to give him a sharp pain in his palms that would surely follow him for the next few hours. In a sense, he had been knuckle-white tense ever since that morning, thinking about this endeavor he was kicking himself to push through. It was the nth time he’d tried to make that visit over the past year, one that he dreaded with each and every fiber of his being.
The Professor eyed his passenger’s seat for a second, his gaze lingering on the plastic bag he carried with him that day. Inside, there were a bottle of Kirin, an incense, and a single sunflower. The flower was definitely too long to fit properly inside the bag, and it’s head peeped though the opening, yellow petals flickering while the car moved, every ridge on the road seemingly making it jump further and further out of its container.
With one hand on the wheel, and the other reaching out, he tried shoving the sunflower back into the bag, and in between eyeing the bag, then the road, picking the flower, pushing it, the bag sliding off the seat, loud news coming on the radio, Higuruma getting startled, his glasses slipping down his nose bridge, him pushing them back in place with his shoulder, tires screeching, a car horn, his heart pounding and his ears ringing, Higuruma came to the sensible conclusion that he should, as any responsible adult would, take a break.
I need a smoke.
Who he was visiting was definitely not going anywhere.
Checking where he was, Higuruma noticed a cafe nearby, and as fate would have it, there was a single parking spot right in front of it. He maneuvered the Passo, and the car fit neatly in between the white lines. Higuruma pulled his sunflower shawl — this time, not caught under any death trap, but laid over his back seat alongside your scarf —, threw it around his neck and got out. He took a moment to stretch his fingers in the cold air, his breath clouding in front of his mouth, and tapped around his coat to take his wallet, finally inserting some coins into the park meter and crossing the guardrail by the sidewalk.
He’d have exactly thirty minutes to get his shit together.
The cafe was warm, inviting, and strangely familiar, its orange light almost emanating the smell of coffee beans, croissants and decadent redemption for weary travelers. The store front had a glass display through which he saw an assortment of sweet and salty baked goods. Higuruma would probably pick one of those to eat — the greasiest one, if possible —, had he not been carrying a rock in place of his stomach for the past few hours.
With his resolution waning, he mindlessly took a step back while peeping, and sighed, his tired sigh weighing on his body deciding for him that an espresso was probably the way to go.
Stepping inside, Higuruma paid no mind to whatever was around him, and waited for his turn in line to order his drink. Across from him, you nearly choked, half a donut shoved into your powdered-sugar smeared mouth, nearly spilling your own coffee over your second-hand suit.
After your interview, you thought it’d be a good idea to have a snack, and made your way inside the closest, warmest, coziest cafe you found, which was across the firm.
At that moment, you found yourself in a cliché adult life predicament — you just saw someone you knew, but they didn’t see you. Should you go over to greet them? Should you not? Would simply leaving be rude? Should you go actually talk to the man you definitely had — and shouldn’t have — a crush on?
You clutched your coffee harder as the thoughts flew around in your mind, as second nature at this point to avoid giving him another beverage shower.
After some quick consideration, you decided you would at least say hello, after all, it was the polite thing to do. You shoved the rest of your food into your mouth, washed it all down with the rest of your coffee, haphazardly cleaned around your mouth with a napkin and slowly walked towards him, stopping a few feet away. Somehow, he still hadn’t seen you, apparently too immersed in thought.
That was when you noticed a shawl around his neck.
It was pretty damn ugly.
“Professor, hi!” you greeted, and Higuruma got yanked out of whatever daydreams — or waking nightmares — he had been simmering in while waiting in line.
“Oh, hello. I didn’t expect to meet anyone here,” Higuruma replied, “I just stopped by for a snack.”
“Oh, nice. Their coffee is pretty good,” you said, “I got the espresso.”
“And… I hope that you’re finished already? With your coffee, I mean.” he asked while checking your hands, his usually unaffected tone slightly playful, earning him a chuckle from you.
“Rest assured, I’m not assaulting you nor your ugly shawl with my coffee,” you quipped, but his eyes only widened. His owlish eyes blinked once, and then twice, in absolute silence.
That was when you realized.
Oh. I said that out loud.
“I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-”
“Awfully hypocritical of both of us, huh?” he noted, with a discreet smile pulling on his lips.
Relieved, realizing he hadn’t taken offense, you sheepishly returned his smile, “I guess so. I don’t think I’ll get to keep being hypocritical about our ugly scarfs, though. I can’t seem to find mine, it’s been gone ever since that party.”
It was like a light bulb went on in Higuruma’s mind, and he cleared his throat before saying, “well, I may just prove you wrong. Follow me.”
Not fully understanding what he meant by that, you stood by him while he paid for his coffee, got it and walked outside. The cold winter breeze prickled your cheeks and your uncovered neck like hair-thin razor blades, and you followed Higuruma towards a car that wasn’t all that strange to you. Upon further inspection, you noticed that it was indeed his car, the old navy blue beat up thing you used as a shield for the wind during that night when you tried and failed at least half a dozen times to light a cigarette.
And then met him, and gave him a vodka scare.
And helped patting him dry with your-
“Here,” he called out, opening the door to the back seat. Sure enough, you saw that red, frizzly old thing tangled up in a ball.
“My scarf!” you reached inside and took it out, instantly throwing it around your neck. Higuruma noticed how you were genuinely pleased to have finally found it, and thought to himself that he’d most likely feel the same way if he ever lost and found his beat up, old shawl.
It was just one of those things imbued with a sense of history and familiarity that only beat up, old tokens from days past had.
“Thank you,” you whispered, while sliding your fingers through the worn out cotton. “It was a gift. I might complain about it more often than not, but-”
“But it’s an important part of your life,” he replied, and you both glanced at each other while you nodded.
“Yes. Something like that. It’s my favorite curse to carry around while complaining about it, you know?” you mused, adjusting it around your neck and gratefully welcoming the warmth it brought around your neck.
“I think I do,” he answered finally, taking a sip from his coffee.
“Let me repay you,” you offered. “Can I offer you a snack, or anything? Perhaps a smoke?”
“I’ll take you up on that cigarette offer,” he replied, and you pulled your pack out of your coat. Giving it a few taps, a cigarette popped up, and you took it in your lips, pulling another one and handing it to him.
Against his better judgement, Higuruma was slightly disappointed, and for a second, felt like kicking himself over it.
Idiot, you can’t seriously be expecting her to light a cigarette for me every time she offers you a smoke. Actually, I shouldn’t expect that at all.
Against his will, Higuruma felt his cheeks warming up, and he tried his best to dive his face into his shawl while politely took the cigarette off your hands. You didn’t notice his moves and offered him your lighter — the same yellow, disposable one he had given you days ago. He picked it up, lit his cigarette and returned it.
“I see you still have it,” Higuruma noted, smiling gently, and you acquiesced.
“It has been my faithful companion for these past few weeks. I’m just glad I haven’t lost it like I lost my scarf,” you said before chuckling.
Higuruma leaned over the guardrail with his elbows, finally relaxing after… God knows how long. Slowly, he seemed to be getting lost in thought, and you seized the opportunity to better look at his shawl. It had a sunflower pattern that went in a straight line right in front of it.
Still looking around as he stewed in his silent contemplations, you noticed there was a bag laying on top of his passenger’s seat. Peeping through it, stood a single sunflower, and what seemed to be the top of a Kirin bottle.
A sunflower man, hm?
The thought amused you as the corners of your mouth perked up in a gleeful smile, but you were quickly pulled out from it.
“Do you work nearby?” he asked, while taking a drag from his cigarette. “This is far from campus.”
“No. I mean, not yet. I was just… chasing my dreams,” you remarked, puffing some smoke. “What about you, Professor?”
Higuruma chuckled softly.
“I was being haunted by mine.”
You must’ve looked puzzled, because he quickly amended, “I was just on my way to visit someone and took a break for some coffee, that’s all.”
“Oh, I see,” you replied, realizing you were probably getting in his way. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to keep you from your appointment. I-”
“It’s okay, there’s no one waiting for me. Or so I like to think.”
That comment left you with more questions than answers.
“Apologies. I don’t mean to keep you from going about the rest of your day too,” he bid behind a curtain of smoke, “and thank you for the cigarette. I really needed it.”
With your final puffs, you put your cigarette out and smiled at Higuruma.
“It’s okay, Professor. I should really get going, though. We are, indeed, far from campus and I’d like to get to my dorm before it’s dark.”
With a bow, you walked away, leaving Higuruma to his own devices. He sighed, alone with himself and his thoughts once again, turning his attention once more to the bag he had inside his car.
“Hiromi,” a familiar voice called out. Higuruma turned around, only to be met by Nanami, who had a indecipherable expression on his face.
Minutes before, Nanami decided to visit the nearby cafe and check if they had his favorite casse croûte that day. He wouldn’t mind getting a croissant, though.
Upon stepping outside his building with dreams of pastries swirling around his overworked mind, he noticed you and Higuruma outside the cafe, and figured that was the perfect opportunity to approach you both and introduce you as the new intern for the criminal law department. It was just a matter of time before Higuruma accepted his offer, as Nanami thought, and you’d be both working together. However, before he could, Nanami noticed you and Higuruma were chatting, and not only that, but you approached Higuruma’s car and got something — apparently belonging to you — from his back seat. The ugliest red scarf Nanami had ever seen.
… What?
Nanami then remembered that you were a student on the very same university he tended to.
The same one in which Higuruma was a teacher too.
Why does Hiromi have things belonging to a student in the backseat of his car, of all places?
Nanami was at a loss for words, and faltered for a few moments, wondering how he should ask Hiromi about this. That is, if he even should ask Hiromi about anything at all. Nanami decided to watch from afar, and something about the way Higuruma was carrying himself bothered Nanami.
He had only seen his best friend behaving like that in very specific scenarios, ones in which Hiromi definitely shouldn’t be interacting with a student of his.
After you left, Kento finally walked towards Hiromi, still uncertain if he should question his friend about the nature of your relationship with him. He could be imagining things.
But something was definitely disturbing him, he was sure of it. Something he couldn’t quite put a finger on.
“Kento, hi! Oh… I had forgotten, your firm is nearby, isn’t it?” Hiromi asked while looking around. “Sorry, I always seem to forget where it is. That explains why this cafe felt so familiar. Care for a smoke?”
“No.”
“You haven’t smoked with me in a long time,” Higuruma offered, pulling his own cigarette pack from his coat’s inner pocket.
“I quit years ago,” Nanami reminded him, trying to put an end to this conversation detour.
“You still smoke on special occasions,” Higuruma offered, “eh, I wish I had your resolve.”
“You do, you just fail to direct it at things that will benefit you in the long run.”
“Just my little human shortcoming, I guess,” Higuruma finally replied, sparing Nanami a soft smile. He walked towards his car while unlocking it, “Let’s have something to eat, the coffee opened up my appetite. I just need to get more coins in case I end up going over the meter’s time limit, hold on.”
“Hiromi,” Nanami said once again, his tone graver than usual. That caught Higuruma’s attention.
“Hm, is everything okay?” Higuruma asked while leaning into his car.
Before Nanami could go on with his planned line of inquiry, he noticed what was over passenger’s seat. Especially the sunflower.
“Are you at it again?” Nanami asked, gesturing with his head towards it.
“Ah, you saw it…” Higuruma commented, as if he was a child being caught red handed while making a mess out of the house. “Well, yes. I’m trying to, and failing at it once again.”
“You know you don’t have to go, right?” Kento offered, while pulling some change from his pocket. “I have coins, we’ll be fine. Let me get you a snack, this cafe has the best casse croute around.”
“I do have to go, though,” Higuruma closed the door and stepped back onto the sidewalk. “I should, at least.”
Higuruma’s earlier energy seemed to wane ever so slightly, his shoulders falling while he slouched, unconsciously making himself smaller.
“I don’t think I’ll manage to do it today, either,” he finally said, his eyes low on his feet, and his voice barely above a whisper.
Assessing the situation, it was clear that Higuruma was in no way in the right mindset to have that conversation regarding you, so Nanami put a mental note on it to ask about it at a later time. He stepped beside Hiromi and put a hand gently on his shoulder, sighing.
“Is it low tar?” Nanami questioned, clearing his throat to disguise his displeasure.
“Hm, what?”
“Your cigarette. Is it low tar?”
Higuruma huffed, a tiny smile forming on his lips as he said, “yes, yes it is.”
In a smooth motion, Higuruma pulled his pack back out of his coat and took two cigarettes out of it, handing one to Nanami along with a lighter. With the disposition of a man ready to face the electric chair, Kento pursed his lips around the cigarette, and lit it, only to be thrown in a coughing fit moments later.
“How the mighty do fall,” Higuruma noted with a discreet smirk on his lips, “you used to smoke more than me.”
“Shut up,” Nanami managed to churn out in between coughs, “this brand is awful.”
His friend chuckled while taking one long drag from his cigarette.
“Hey, Kento.”
“What?” Nanami considered tossing the cigarette as far as he could, but tried his best to survive it, even if just for Hiromi’s benefit.
“Is that offer still on the table? To…” Hiromi paused for a moment, clearing his throat, “hm, work in your firm?”
Managing to get his throat and lungs under control, Nanami glanced at Hiromi, knowing full well that good things came to those who wait.
Just like he had.
“Yes. Why do you ask?”
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#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jjk x reader#higuruma hiromi#higuruma x reader#jjk higuruma#hiromi x reader#jjk fluff#jjk x you#jjk x y/n#jjk imagines#jujutsu kaisen higuruma#hiromi higuruma x reader#higuruma#higuruma hiromi x reader#jjk hiromi#hiromi jjk#hiromi x you#higuruma hiromi x you#hiromi x y/n#higuruma x y/n#higuruma x you#jjk x reader fluff#jujutsu x reader#jjk fanfic#fuku writes
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Past and Future (Happy Birthday Lighter)
🍓Finished this shit at 4:30am, if y'all don't enjoy this I will kill myself. Anyway had fun writing this, it's more of me fucking around and finding out with Lighter's character, but I think it's fluffy and cute so... enjoy lol
TW: Mentions of Death; Suicidal ideation
Info: Lighter x GN!Reader; Angst to Fluff (?) Kinda?; hurt and comfort (i think??)
Word Count: 2k
December 27th. Two days after Christmas, five days before New Year's. Oddly placed on the calendar, awkwardly smooshed between two major holidays in New Eirdu. To most, it was insignificant, just another day. To Lighter it was something he dreaded each year. Between the holiday cheer and the buzz of excitement for the new year, it was nothing more than a looming cloud dampening his mood.
December 27th, Lighter Lorenz’s birthday, one of the worst days of his life.
He didn’t hate birthdays, they were nice when they were for other people. He had to admit he enjoyed getting gifts for others and seeing their eyes light up when they opened it, and the light atmosphere when everyone sang a horrendously off-key rendition of the birthday song was hard to hate. They were celebrations of the life of that person, a hurrah to cheer them into another long year until the next came around. He just hated his own.
Gifts and cake and warm fuzzy sweet nothings acted only as reminders that he was alive. He was alive, and everyone else who deserved to be wasn’t. Another marker of another year since he lost everything. He wanted to pretend it wasn’t there, maybe sleep until the 28th or run away for a while, but the girls wouldn’t let him.
They’d managed to weasel his birthday out of him about a year into his being here, and they made a point to celebrate it each year. Nothing big, they knew he wasn’t one for huge crowds outside of his fights, but still a party where they showered him with gifts and congratulations that he did not deserve. He didn’t have it in him to tell them to stop.
So, year after year he grinned and bared it with as much grace as someone as fucked up as he could. It wasn’t hard to be grateful for all they did for him, but it was always hard to smile and accept it like he deserved it. The nagging voice in the back of his head reminded him that he shouldn’t be allowed to be this happy, not when his stupidity cost the lives of good people – wonderful people, who he loved.
He usually only lasted until Burnice got out the nitro fuel, then he would quietly slip away from his own party to be alone. The quiet was easier on his mind than the distractions of colorful confetti and sweet cake made just to his taste. He liked to sit in the pain, to recede into that cocoon of hurt, as if to apologize to his friends by torturing himself.
This year was no different, of course. Just as Burnice handed out the nitro fuel, he quietly slunk into the shadows, smiling to himself as the rest of the Sons of Calydon remained celebrating in his steed. He walked his way to his bike, sighing in the cool night air. The breeze on his skin was the only comfort from the hell in his mind.
He let the air out, hand tucking into his pocket to pull out the little thing of candy he carried around on him. The little lemon drops fall into his palm with ease, and he tosses them back with practiced ease. He rarely felt like smoking anymore, but his birthday was always a struggle. The heightened emotions made him want to take the easy route out, to fall back on his old ways and make stupid mistakes in hopes it would make him feel better. Instead of giving in, though, he sucked on those candies like a saving grace. It was the least he could do for his old friends.
As he stopped in front of his bike, he shoved the candies back into his pocket. Taking a second to himself in the quiet of the night. It was almost over, just a few more hours, and the pain would lessen back down to an ache again. A little longer and he wouldn’t have to worry about constant reminders of being alive, and he wouldn’t have to save face for everyone else’s sake.
“Lighter?” A quiet, soft, almost worried voice from behind him.
He glanced over his shoulder, eyes softening when he saw it was you. You’d been quiet about his birthday all month, not bothering him with any reminders. You knew, intrinsically, how much he hated it. You always knew everything about him, it was an infuriating quirk of yours that he would never want to go away.
“Hey, dollface,” his voice just as quiet as he raised his arm for you to duck under, “got tired of the party?”
You press yourself into his side, enjoying the warmth of your personal heater, “I saw you leave and I wanted to make sure you weren’t doing anything stupid.”
He chuckles, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head, “Me stupid? Never. Just needed some air.”
“Is this getting some air just for you, or could you use some company?” You offer, giving him the reins.
He liked the alone time, he wanted to wallow in self-pity more than anything in the world. His head reminded him that he deserved to be alone on a night like this. Yet, your eyes flutter a little at him, and your lashes brush away those awful thoughts like nothing.
“I’ve always got room for you,” he hums, giving you one last squeeze before helping you on the bike.
The drive is peaceful, the breeze cooling his hot skin like an apology from the world for all he’d been put through. He doesn’t think he deserves it, but he wouldn’t deny the feeling either. Your arms wrapped firmly around his middle, head pressed against his shoulder only calmed him further. It grounded him back in the present, reminding him that the past had long passed and that he still had things to live for.
The Sons of Calydon, who took him in and cared for him despite how distant he was at the start. The Proxies, who took special care to stop by earlier and give him a gift, congratulated him for being so strong and thanked him for his constant help when they needed it. The other former members of his mercenary group who, despite how much he wanted to deny it, held no ill will to him and wished him the best for the future.
And, of course, you curled against his back. You trusted him with your life, and he would easily lay his down for you – not that you’d let him if you had any say. You kept reminding him every single day that he was someone worth loving, that he was more than his past, and that he was the one who could define what his future looked like. It was hard not to picture it without you there, not with how attached he’d become to your little displays of love for him.
Displays like this, following him out of his party to make sure he wouldn’t do anything to hurt himself more than he was already hurting. He smiles warmly back at you as he eases his bike to a stop at his favorite quiet spot. You smile back pressing a kiss to his shoulder before moving to get off the bike.
You intertwined your fingers with his like it was second nature as you walked to the fence at the cliff's edge. From here you could see the endless desert, and the edge of the hollow, the moon peaking over it in an almost beautiful display. He helps you sit on the fence, placing a protective hand around your waist to keep you from falling forward.
Your hand presses his head into your shoulder, scratching at his scalp with such care it nearly makes his knees buckle. Another reminder of what he has that he couldn’t afford to lose. No one has known him the way you know him, no one has ever had the effect you have on him. It was almost enough to make all the horror of his past dissipate in his mind, but a small part of him still clung to it. Unwilling to allow himself to fully forget.
“You okay?” You ask, interrupting the quiet bubble that had formed around you.
He nods, “Thinking.”
“About…?” You urge with a raise of a brow, unbearably cute in his mind's eye.
He smiles, genuine for the first time that night, “About how much I love you.”
You shake your head at him, but you don’t argue with him about how he’s lying, or try and force him to tell you everything. You don’t need to. You always trust that he’ll tell you when he’s ready. It’s another thing about you that he couldn’t risk losing.
You let the quiet fall over you again, leaning into his chest with a content hum. He allows himself to indulge in your affections for now, preferring having you here in his arms than staring aimlessly at the skyline by himself. It was easier to swallow the ache in his throat with you to soften the harshness of the feeling, regardless of whether you knew you did it or not.
He wonders, hopelessly, what his old friends would think of you. They would like you, he was sure of that. You had a personality that would let you fit right in with their eclectic group. The idea of you smiling side by side with them warms his chest, his heart aching as it fades away. A dream he’d never get to see.
He’s not aware that he’s crying, he’s not sure how long he has been crying, all he knows is that you turn to him and cradle his face in your hands. They wipe at his tears without needing to be asked, another quiet reassurance that you cared for him regardless of what was going on in his head.
Lighter sniffles pathetically as his eyes lock with your worried ones. You seem to know what's wrong without him needing to say it, which he likely wouldn’t be able to do if you weren’t able to deduce it on your own. You frown at him, bringing him down to kiss his forehead.
“I’m sorry it’s so hard,” You whisper, wrapping your arms around him.
He pulls you in tightly, desperate for the skinship you offered up, “It never gets easier. Everything is a reminder.”
“I know, that’s okay,” you press a kiss to the side of his face, “I don’t think you need to forget it, Lighter. I think you need to learn how to live with it.”
He closes his eyes, the hollow where they’re buried fading from sight as if looking at it would blind him now. He holds you even closer, letting your words sink in. Learning to live with it, sounded much easier than it probably was. Maybe you were right though, he’d done so much wallowing and running, maybe it was time he found a way to live with the pain.
“Mistake, failure, accident… it doesn’t matter what you call it,” you continue, pulling him back to look him in the eyes, “It’ll always hurt, but that hurt is a reminder of how human you are. You don’t want to lose that. Remember it, feel it, and they’ll never really leave you.”
You swallow, taking him in with those pretty eyes of yours. It’s not perfect, but it’s what he needed to hear tonight. He presses you into a kiss, soft and light and nervous. He was afraid you’d disappear if he was too rough. You melt into it, indulging him like he hoped you would. This was the only way he knew how to show you his appreciation, words would never be enough to display how deeply he cared for you.
When he pulled away you were breathless, face flushed from lack of oxygen, and indescribably beautiful. He smiled subconsciously at you, and you returned the look with all the love and admiration in the world.
“Happy Birthday Lighter,” You say soft as the wind still tussling your hair, “I love you.”
“I love you, too,” He repeats back, and he feels the ache in his chest lessen every second he spends looking at you. You taught him a lot since he met you. A lot about himself, a lot about those around him, a lot about you. Most importantly, tonight you taught him that despite his past, he made a future for himself that he should be more determined to remember to protect.
#bunni's treats 🧁#x reader#lighter x reader#lighter zzz#lighter zzz x reader#zzz lighter x reader#zzz lighter#lighter#zzz lighter lorenz#lighter lorenz#lighter lorenz x reader#zzz lighter lorenz x reader
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Hi, a bit late but joining in on the @alliwantforchristmasislou project 🫶
I decided to donate to a polish organisation called the stonewall group (which is why the pic is in polish lol)
chose this one just because im the most familiar with this one, and they do amazing work in support of lgbt+ people and fighting for our rights in this... not so queer-friendly country 🫶
now, ive been in the 911 fandom for almost 4 years now (gonna be 4 in i think February), and i only started after the episode Buck actually bc it was allll over my dash. i binged the whole show in a week, before the next episode is even aired, I loved it SO much.
as most of y'all know, I initially shipped buddie - it was the big ship, ofc i did, i wrote so much fic for them and i had so much fun and met so many moots i still love seeing on my dash 🫶❤️ but it might've been obvious (or not, idk) i was kinda getting bored and losing enjoyment, more and more of my fics and snippets were focusing on other characters with buck or eddie, i wasnt really as into it anymore - but i still loved it and wanted to enjoy it (which ironically was killed dead later on by the buddie fandom itself lmao)
and then came bucktommy and everything changed. initially i tried not to give in but within a few days i had two fics and more ideas lol they completely took over my thoughts. ive never been this inspired to write, to create, I even learned how to make gifs for them (with lots of help from amazing talented friends 🫶🤣) during fall and winter I always get so depressed and sad and having very dark and depressing thoughts (last year my buck driving fic was a result of that lol), and its so hard to find motivation to do anything, even write. but this year, even tho I had a lil crisis moment, i wrote through it and im as inspired as always - i havent stopped writing since april. they're literally the most inspiring ship ever - and fun fact, usually i prefer writing about fanon ships, so this was a huge change and surprise
I always related to buck a lot, and especially once we got his bisexuality canon - checking out and appreciating hot people of the same sex and not realizing what it means is too real lol - and Tommy is so compelling and theres so much potential for so many stories there, I wish the show would do something interesting with him 😭 despite being so confident and cool, he feels like he's holding back some sad, maybe (probably) traumatic backstory that could be so good and interesting - and lou is such a good actor and itd be amazing to see more from him in this role
they wrote tommy as the perfect love interest for buck, and it was amazing to see it on screen, it was such a breath of fresh air to see this kind of queer representation on a network show, it was so gentle and adorable, and they initially handled it with so much care, and id love to see where they'd go from there 😭 the break up broke my heart not only because it happened, but because it felt ooc and abrupt and not at all like that's where the story was going. wish they'd fix it and give us tommy back 😭🙏
and lastly but most importantly - thanks to bucktommy, i met so many amazing friends ❤️😭 even when I was writing fics and interacting with mutuals on here, i was never really talking to a lot of mutuals, not for longer than a few messages, and now i got this wonderful community that i feel so comfortable in, everyone is so nice and friendly, and I love y'all so much, this is the best fandom experience ive ever had ❤️
thank you all, ive been having so much fun since april, i love y'all. here's to more bucktommy in 2025 ❤️
#alliwantforchristmasislou#bucktommy#bucktommy nation#this post got long lmao i hope its not too chaotic and rambly 🤣
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CROSSING THE LINE — PART TEN ♡
paige x azzi
warnings: sexual content (at the end)
word count: 9.8k
A/N: Alright this is the last chapter of the series 🥹. I really enjoyed writing this one honestly and this won't be my last story! I tried to combine the things people requested the most for the last chapter so it's honestly just a really cute chapter to wrap up their storyline. There is some sexual content at the end but if you don't like that kind of thing you don't have to read it and won't miss much as it's just the end of the series. But for those of you who do like it, it's there lol! Please leave live reactions and comments, thank you so much for reading this series 🫶🏼🤭.
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March 2029
Paige paced back and forth in her dressing room, her footsteps quick and uneven as she muttered under her breath. Nika, lounging on the couch, watched her with an amused expression, while everyone else was still getting dressed.
“Twin, you need to chill and sit down,” Nika said, shaking her head. “You’re gonna get sweaty, and Azzi’s going to kill you and probably me for letting you do this.”
“How am I supposed to sit down?” Paige shot back, throwing her hands in the air. “I haven’t seen my fiancée all day! I have no idea what she’s thinking!”
Nika stifled a laugh. “Yeah, that’s the point. You’re not supposed to see her today. It’s tradition or whatever.”
Paige groaned, reluctantly plopping down onto the edge of the couch. She adjusted her button up carefully, making sure she didn’t wrinkle it. “This is torture, who came up with this ridiculous tradition anyway. Who wouldn’t want to see their wife before they got married,” she muttered.
A few seconds later, as if the universe was reading her mind, a knock sounded at the door. Nika stood up to answer it, sharing a quick glance at Paige whose face lit up a little bit. When Nika opened the door, Caroline stood on the other side, a playful smirk on her face.
“Azzi wants Paige to come to the door,” Caroline said, her tone light, “but she can’t look.”
Nika laughed quietly as she turned to Paige. “Come on, drama queen. Get up.”
With exaggerated reluctance, Paige got to her feet. Nika guided her to the door, positioning her by the wall so she and Azzi couldn’t see each other.
Paige felt a familiar hand slide into hers from the other side of the door frame, their fingers intertwining. Azzi’s voice came softly, almost a whisper. “Hi, baby.”
A wide grin broke out on Paige’s face. “Hi, mama.”
Azzi chuckled at the name, her thoughts drifting briefly to their son, who Geno had whisked away the moment he’d arrived.
“Have you seen him yet?” Paige asked, her tone softening as her thoughts turned to their little boy just like Azzi.
“Not since this morning,” Azzi replied. “But Geno promised he’d keep him entertained. I heard him say something about introducing him to everyone in the building before getting him dressed.”
Paige laughed quietly. “So basically, he’s spoiling him.”
“Of course,” Azzi said with a smile. “I think Geno likes being a grandpa more than he did coaching sometimes.”
Paige’s heart melted as she pictured her son’s bright blue eyes and laughter filling the building. “I still can’t believe we have him sometimes Az. He’s perfect.”
Azzi’s voice softened. “He really is. And he’s going to be so proud of his moms today.”
“Which is why you need to calm down goofball,” Azzi continued gently as she squeezed Paige’s hand.
Paige scoffed, trying to sound confident. “Psh, what are you talking about? I’m cool as a cucumber.”
A laugh bubbled up from Azzi. “I could feel your stress from the other side of the building, Paige and your hands are sweaty.”
At that, Paige tried to pull her hand away to wipe it on a towel, but Azzi held onto her firmly. “Nope, not so fast,” Azzi teased.
Paige sighed, leaning her head back against the wall. “This is so unfair,” she mumbled. “I can’t even see you.”
“I know,” Azzi replied, her voice warm. “But I’m here. We’ve got this.”
Paige exhaled a shaky breath, a grin tugging at her lips. “We’re getting married today, baby.” Her voice wavered with emotion, the reality of the moment hitting her all over again.
Azzi smiled on the other side of the door, her thumb gently stroking the back of Paige’s hand. “Yeah, we are,” she said, her voice filled with awe. “Can you believe it?”
“No,” Paige admitted with a small laugh. “Six years ago, I didn’t think I’d be this lucky.”
Azzi’s grip tightened slightly. “Paige, you deserve this. You deserve everything.”
Paige’s heart swelled, and she closed her eyes, leaning her head against the wall. “You’re everything, Az. I can’t wait to see you walk down that aisle.”
“And I can’t wait to marry you,” Azzi whispered.
A moment of silence passed between them, filled only with the quiet sound of their breathing.
Finally, Azzi spoke again. “Okay, I have to go put my dress on now.”
Paige smiled, her head still resting against the wall. “I know you’re going to look so beautiful, Az.”
Azzi’s laugh was like a perfect melody in Paige’s ears. “I love you, P.”
“I love you, too,” Paige replied without hesitation, her voice soft and full of adoration.
Their hands parted reluctantly, and Paige went back to sit down, her chest lighter than it had been all day. She reached for a bottle of water, taking a long sip as a calmness settled over her.
…
Paige now stood outside the double doors, her heart pounding in her chest. She took a few deep breaths trying to steady herself.
Behind her, Jayden squirmed in Ice’s arms, reaching out toward his mom with a determined pout. His little hands stretched forward, and his soft curly hair bounded as he wriggled in Ice’s arms.
“Paige, he wants you,” Ice said with a grin, already moving to set the toddler down.
Paige bent down as his tiny feet touched the floor, her hands immediately going to straighten his miniature suit. “Hey, buddy,” she said softly, her voice instantly calm as she smoothed the lapels of his jacket.
Jayden beamed up at her, his blue eyes sparkling with excitement, “Mommy,” he said, his voice sweet and slightly wobbly
Paige smiled at him as she booped his nose with her finger. “Hey, little man. Look at you in your suit. You look so handsome. Mama’s gonna love it.”
Jayden grinned proudly, then pointed to the doors. “Mama ‘dere?” he asked, his small finger jabbing in the direction of where Azzi was going to be eventually.
Paige’s heart melted as she nodded. “Yeah, mama’s gonna be in there. But she’s not there yet, she’s waiting for us.”
Jayden tilted his head, his little brow furrowed in thought. “Why?” he asked, the single word clear amidst his toddler babble.
Paige chuckled softly, fixing the curls that had fallen over his forehead just the way Azzi liked it. “Because today’s a special day Jay. Mama and I are getting married.”
Jayden’s eyes widened with the kind of awe only a toddler could muster. “Mawwy?” he repeated, his tone high and curious.
Paige nodded, her smile growing. “Yeah, married. It means we’re gonna be a family forever. You, me, and Mama.”
Jayden clapped his hands together, clearly pleased with the idea. “Jayden, too?” he asked, his words slightly jumbled but unmistakable.
“Of course, Jayden, too,” Paige said, leaning forward to kiss his forehead. “You’re the most important part of this family, you know that?”
Jayden giggled, his small hands reaching up to pat Paige’s cheeks. “Love you, Mommy,” he said suddenly, his little voice bursting with affection.
Paige felt her throat tighten as she pulled him into a quick hug. “I love you, too, Jay. So much.”
From behind her, Ice cleared her throat. “Alright, ma’am, time to stand up. You’ve got a wedding to get to.”
Paige laughed, releasing Jayden reluctantly. She straightened up, brushing off her suit and taking another deep breath. Looking down at Jayden, she gave him a reassuring smile. “You ready?”
Jayden nodded eagerly, excited to see his mama finally.
With one last deep breath, Paige straightened her shoulders, feeling calmer than she had moments ago.
…
Paige stood at the end of the aisle, her hands nervously crossed in front of her as she waited for Azzi. The soft murmur of the audience faded into the background, and all she could feel was the weight of the moment. On her side of the aisle stood Nika, Ice, KK, and Drew, each of them smiling at her with proud, knowing looks. On Azzi’s side were Caroline, Jon, Jose, and Jana, equally as proud, their faces radiating warmth as they stood together, waiting for the ceremony to begin. Each of them wore the same light magenta in their respective styles, the magenta represented the union of their lives, the perfect balance between purple and pink, of Paige and Azzi.
The guests in the audience were a mix of family, friends, and basketball royalty, each one a piece of Paige and Azzi’s shared journey. Paige could see familiar faces scattered throughout the crowd: their families, their old UConn teammates, UConn alumni, some of their WNBA teammates–old and new–even some players they had never played with but had grown close to, all of these people supported Paige and Azzi through different phases of their careers and their relationship. The room was a true reflection of their journey. The air felt heavy with history and yet it was brimming with hope for the future.
All of a sudden the orchestra began to play, its soft melodies filling the air and soothing the nervous tension in the room. At the front of the aisle, Paige couldn’t help but smile as she saw the first person of the day making his way down the aisle. With his little legs, he moved slowly, but with an adorable determination. He was wearing a little suit that mirrored his uncles, and he was holding his aunt Lauren’s hand. Every now and then, Lauren would hand him a few flowers to toss down the aisle which he thoroughly enjoyed. The crowd cooed at the two-year-old as he made his way toward the front, taking in all the attention with the charm that Paige swore he got from her.
Jay was their perfect miracle. Paige and Azzi had adopted him as soon as both of their rookie contracts were up, and they were finally able to play for the same team in Washington. It had been nothing short of hitting the adoption lottery. With his blue eyes and blonde hair, he looked like a perfect blend of both his moms somehow. His blonde hair was curly like Azzi’s, and his dimples were almost an exact replica of her’s. As he threw flowers along the aisle, occasionally getting distracted by familiar faces in the crowd, Paige couldn’t help but beam with pride.
When Jayden reached the end of the aisle, he attempted to walk toward Paige, his arms reaching out to his mommy. But before he could take another step, Lauren scooped him up, and his pout deepened. The crowd couldn’t help but chuckle at the little boy’s dramatic expression as he was whisked away. Despite the momentary disappointment, he was soon settled in the arms of his grandmother, Katie, who had been eagerly waiting to hold him.
Paige smiled at the adorable scene. Jayden was just like his moms in every way. And Paige felt her heart swell as she watched him interact with the family, knowing this day, this moment, was just the beginning of their future together.
The laughter from the wedding party gradually faded, settling into a peaceful silence that seemed to hold its breath in anticipation. The music, once soft and light, swelled into a more solemn, heartfelt melody. It was time for Azzi to walk down the aisle. As the first few notes of the song filled the air, the entire audience stood in unison, their eyes instinctively shifting toward the doors.
Paige’s heart was pounding in her chest, each beat echoing in her ears as she fought to steady her breath. This is it, she thought, her palms damp against the fabric of her pants. Her heart swelled with love, nervous excitement, and a deep, overwhelming joy. She glanced at her family and friends—Nika, Ice, KK, Drew—all standing at her side. Her gaze then flicked to the guests filling the rows, each face radiating love and warmth, all of them there to witness this monumental moment. Azzi is about to walk toward me. The love of my life is about to walk towards me.
Then the doors opened.
Azzi’s presence filled the room like a wave, drawing every eye, yet somehow the world seemed to narrow. There she was—walking slowly towards Paige, glowing with a quiet confidence, her every step in perfect harmony with the music. The lighting caught her white dress just right, casting a soft, ethereal glow around her. She looked like something out of a dream—angelic, breathtaking.
Paige’s breath hitched, and her heart raced faster as her eyes locked with Azzi’s. Her legs almost gave way beneath her and Drew patted her shoulder chuckling slightly, but she stood tall, transfixed by the sight of the woman she loved. The woman she had waited for. Tears welled up in her eyes, blurring her vision, but all she could see was Azzi, walking toward her as if the world had led them here, to this moment.
At the same time Azzi’s thoughts swirled as she took each step. This moment is everything I’ve dreamed of. Fuck she looks so good. My heart beats for her. It always has, always will. Her pulse raced as she scanned Paige’s face. I’ve fought for this love, for her. I’ve seen everything we’ve been through, and it’s been worth it. Every moment, every struggle—this is the culmination of all of it.
Her eyes were locked on Paige as if nothing else existed in the world. There was so much emotion swirling within her—gratitude, awe, love—but most of all, there was a profound peace. This is where I belong. Right here, with her.
As she walked closer, she couldn’t help but smile at Paige’s teary eyes, her heart swelling at the way she was looking at her. She’s everything to me. How did I get so lucky? Her legs felt like they were moving on their own, carried by the sheer force of the love between them.
When Azzi finally reached the altar, Paige’s hands, which had been tightly clasped in front of her, suddenly felt empty. She reached out instinctively, her fingers trembling as she tried to follow through with the practiced firm handshake she was supposed to give Tim. But before she could, Tim pulled her into a tight, heartfelt hug. It was unexpected, but so full of meaning—so full of everything he felt about the woman who was about to marry his daughter. Paige’s arms wrapped around him as she smiled through her tears. She had grown so close to him, and in that moment, it felt like all their shared memories—good and bad—were coming together.
Azzi’s eyes softened as she watched the embrace, her chest tightening with emotion. Her lips curled into a soft smile as she finally took her place beside Paige, her hand sliding into Paige’s like it was meant to be there all along.
Paige helped Azzi settle in front of her, taking Azzi’s hand in hers, feeling the familiar warmth that had comforted her for so long. Azzi handed her flowers to Caroline, a fleeting moment of lightness before their attention fully turned to each other.
They stood there, face to face at last. The weight of the moment settled in their hearts, and the world seemed to slow. As their eyes locked for a few precious seconds, it was as if the room had disappeared. Everything faded away except for the two of them, standing together, ready to begin the rest of their lives.
Azzi’s voice, soft but clear, broke the silence, carrying a tenderness that only Paige could feel. She whispered, so only Paige could hear, but it felt as if the entire room was listening. “You look beautiful P.” Her fingers gently brushed a tear from Paige’s cheek, her touch as delicate as the moment itself.
Paige’s heart swelled, and she blinked away more tears as she whispered back, her voice slightly trembling, “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, baby.” She swallowed hard, trying to steady herself, but the emotion in her chest was overwhelming.
Before the intimacy of the moment could envelop them entirely, Jayden’s voice rang out from the audience. His little voice echoed with excitement as he saw Azzi standing in front of Paige. “Mama!” he shouted, his chubby little arms reaching for her. He was so happy to see his mother, and his pure joy filled the room, drawing smiles from every corner.
Azzi’s heart fluttered at the sound of his voice, and she winked at him, her eyes softening with affection. Jayden, always a mama’s boy, blushed furiously at the attention from Azzi and immediately hid his face in Katie’s neck. The crowd couldn’t help but laugh, touched by his shyness and his love for his mom.
Paige and Azzi exchanged a glance, their faces breaking into smiles at their son’s antics. They shared a quiet laugh, the kind that only they could understand, before turning back to each other. Their love for Jayden, for each other, was tangible in the air around them—an unspoken bond that only deepened as the moment passed.
The ceremony continued, but the two of them were lost in the love they shared, the life they had built, and the promise of all the moments yet to come.
Paige hadn’t really heard a word CD had said as she officiated the wedding. All Paige could do was stare at Azzi in awe, her heart swelling in her chest. In that moment, everything around her faded—the audience, CD’s voice, the sound of the light music—all she could see was Azzi, standing there before her. Azzi, the woman who had become everything to her. Even after all these years, Paige still looked at her the way she did the first time she realized she loved her—like she was the most beautiful thing on this earth, like she would do anything, give everything, to the girl standing in front of her.
It was now time for the vows, and Paige took a deep breath, steadying herself as her heart raced in her chest. Her voice wavered as she began, but the words came from the deepest place inside her, raw and honest. There were no rehearsed lines, no prepared speeches. She didn’t need them to tell Azzi how much she loved her, how much she meant to her.
“Azzi,” Paige began, her voice trembling slightly, “To put it simply you’re everything to me baby. I didn’t realize it at first, but... when you got to UConn that summer, I thought I was just being a leader, you know doing my job—helping the new girl get comfortable and fit in. But you weren’t like anyone I had ever met.”
Paige paused, her eyes locked with Azzi’s, the love in her gaze unmistakable. “You were this constant, steady presence. And without even trying, you made me trust you more than I’ve ever trusted anyone in my entire life. You had this way of getting under my skin and somehow, you did it without me even realizing what was happening. You became someone I couldn’t imagine life without before I even realized it.”
Paige’s eyes softened, remembering a moment that had changed everything. “And then... you made me watch Frozen for the first time. The movie had been out for like... eleven years at that point, and I’d never seen it because, honestly, who would want to waste time watching a Disney cartoon? I needed to be in the gym. But there you were, trying to put it on because it was your turn to pick the movie, and I looked at you like you were insane.” Paige chuckled softly at the memory, the love in her eyes only growing. “But then... you gave me this look. We were on my bed sitting too close to be just friends, and for the first time, I really saw you. Your eyes. God, your eyes. My breath caught in my throat, and I think that’s when I first really noticed how breathtaking you were.”
Paige’s voice softened as she spoke of that pivotal moment. “Your dimples, your smile, your laugh—everything about you. That was the moment I think I knew. I didn’t admit it to myself then, but something clicked that day. And before I knew it, you had me watching Frozen every week.”
A bittersweet smile crossed Paige’s face. “And then, we fought. God, we fought, and we hurt each other in ways I didn’t think were possible. But even then... even when we weren’t speaking, even when I thought you’d broken my heart and left me, I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I’d wonder if you’d eaten, how you were feeling, if you were getting enough sleep, if you were icing your knee or taking care of yourself. I couldn’t stop caring even when I wanted to.”
Paige’s voice faltered for a moment as she fought to control the tears threatening to fall. She looked at Azzi, who stood before her, looking at Paige with such intensity that it made her heart ache. “You’re so beautiful, Azzi,” Paige whispered, her words faltering slightly as she lost herself in the depth of Azzi’s gaze.
But she didn’t stop there. “But it’s not just the way you look... You’re so smart, so much smarter than you give yourself credit for. And you’re so damn stubborn. You fight me tooth and nail for what you believe in, even if it’s something as small as what Jay’s going to wear that day. And I love that about you. You make me feel safe, but you also push me to be better. You call me out when I’m being an idiot, but you do it with so much love. I’ve never met anyone who made me feel like I’m enough just as I am. You taught me that I don’t need to be perfect all the time. That I don’t always need to be in control.”
Paige’s voice cracked a little as she continued. “You’re my balance, Azzi. When I’m all over the place, loud, and impulsive, you ground me. You’re patient when I’m not, calm when I’m chaotic. And somehow, you push me to be better, to be a better version of myself for you and Jay, every single day, without ever making me feel like I have to change who I am.”
Tears brimmed in Paige’s eyes, and she took a deep breath, trying to steady herself. “Baby, you’re not just someone I love. You’re my home. My heart. And I thank God every single day that he brought you to me the way he did.”
The room fell silent, and as Paige finished her vows, the emotion in the air was almost tangible. Her eyes never left Azzi’s, and both women had tears glistening in their eyes. The guests, who knew Paige as the composed, often reserved leader, were stunned. This side of her—this vulnerability, this raw, open love—was something most of them had never seen. This moment, though, was different. It was soft, delicate, and full of so much meaning. It was the clearest, most heartfelt expression of Paige’s love for Azzi.
Azzi, her heart swelling with emotion, fought to hold back the tears. She looked at Paige, struggling to find her words. After a long pause, she laughed softly, a slight chuckle escaping her lips despite the tears pooling in her eyes. “I have no idea how I’m going to follow that,” she said, her voice thick with emotion, the crowd chuckling lightly at her attempt to regain composure.
Azzi’s laugh broke the tension, and for a brief moment, it felt like everything had slowed down, as though time itself had stopped to allow them this perfect, unspoken connection.
Azzi takes a deep breath, still a little shaky from the weight of Paige's vows. "Okay," she starts, her voice soft but steady. "First of all, Paige, you're so incredibly annoying."
The crowd chuckles, and Paige rolls her eyes playfully, her smile wide. Azzi glances at her, her teasing grin softening. "But you also have the purest soul I've ever seen. You're selfless, generous, forgiving, and so incredibly caring. And every single day, I hope we’re able to raise a son who has even a fraction of those qualities."
Azzi pauses, her eyes flickering with emotion. "The night you walked into our suite when I moved in... I knew I was done for," she admits, drawing laughter from the audience. "You had this confidence, this charm, this energy that just pulled me in immediately. And, honestly, it almost got me in trouble a few times. Because I had these thoughts and all these feelings I wasn’t supposed to have for my best friend, for my teammate—especially my teammate who had a bit of a reputation."
The room erupts in laughter, and Paige mock-glares at Azzi, who shrugs innocently before continuing. "But the more I got to know you—not Paige Bueckers, the golden girl, but just Paige—the more that attraction turned into something I couldn't even put into words. I saw a side of you that no one else did. You weren’t just cocky and larger-than-life; you were thoughtful, attentive, and so incredibly soft. You showed me sides of yourself that I don’t think anyone else got to see. And those parts of you—they were the ones I fell in love with."
Azzi’s voice trembles slightly as she goes on. "With everyone else, you were carefree, like nothing could touch you. But with me, you let me see your heart. You were vulnerable in a way I know wasn’t easy for you. You trusted me with your fears, your insecurities, the things you tried so hard to keep hidden from the world. And that trust? It means more to me than I could ever say."
Azzi glances at Paige, her expression softening even further. "You made me believe in a kind of love I didn’t think was possible. The kind they write about in poems and movies. The kind of love that doesn't just show up—it stays, no matter what. You never stopped dating me, even after we were together. You used to bring me flowers every week—every single week—and when you couldn’t be there to give them to me in person, you had them shipped to my door. You made sure I never doubted how much I meant to you."
The audience murmurs softly, some wiping away tears, as Azzi’s voice grows steadier. "And it wasn’t just the big gestures. It was the way you made me laugh when I didn’t think I could. The way you remembered every little thing about me, like how I hate the dark but love the gloominess of rain. You made me feel seen in a way I didn’t even know I needed. You loved me in ways I didn’t know were possible."
Azzi pauses to collect herself, a few tears slipping down her cheeks. She lets out a watery laugh. "And somehow, through all of that, you still kept surprising me. You never stopped pushing me to be better, to dream bigger. You believed in me when I didn’t believe in myself, and you stood by me every step of the way. You were my biggest supporter, my safe space, my everything."
Her voice softens even more, and she looks directly at Paige, her gaze unwavering. "You’re not just someone I love, Paige. You’re my best friend, my soulmate, my home. And I thank God every day that he brought you into my life. Because with you, I have everything I could ever need."
By the time Azzi finishes, slow tears are streaming down Paige’s face, her lips trembling as she tries to smile. Azzi steps closer, her thumb brushing the tears from Paige’s cheeks.
In the quiet room, their son Jayden’s sweet little voice pipes up again, breaking the silence. "Mama, Mommy crying!"
The crowd laughs warmly, and Paige lets out a watery laugh of her own, "Yeah, buddy. Happy tears."
After their vows, CD steps forward with a warm smile, gently pulling everyone’s attention back to the ceremony. "Alright," she says, her voice calm yet celebratory. "Now, if you’ll both repeat after me, we’ll make this official."
Azzi and Paige exchange a brief glance, their hands still joined, both visibly brimming with anticipation. They go through the official readings, their voices steady yet filled with emotion, each word cementing their commitment to one another.
When it’s time for the rings, CD turns to Azzi first. "Azzi, do you take Paige to be your wife, to love and to cherish, in sickness and in health, for as long as you both shall live?"
Azzi doesn’t hesitate. She nods, her voice clear and sure. "I do."
Taking the wedding band, she gently slides it onto Paige’s left ring finger, her touch lingering as she finishes. Her eyes meet Paige’s, filled with love and certainty.
CD then turns to Paige. "Paige, do you take Azzi to be your wife, to love and to cherish, in sickness and in health, for as long as you both shall live?"
Paige’s breath catches for a moment, her lips curving into a smile as she says, "I do." Her hand shakes slightly as she picks up the ring, her fingers brushing Azzi’s as she slides it onto her left ring finger. Her voice softens, barely audible except to Azzi. "Forever."
CD looks at them both, her own smile growing as she says, "By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you married. You may kiss your wife."
Before Azzi can fully process the words, Paige is already moving, pulling Azzi toward her. Their lips meet in a deep, heartfelt kiss, a culmination of everything they’ve been through and everything they’ve been waiting for. Both of them sigh into the kiss, their arms wrapping around each other as the world melts away.
The crowd erupts into cheers and applause, their families and friends celebrating the long-awaited union. But for Paige and Azzi, in that moment, nothing else matters but the person in their arms—their forever.
As they pull back from the kiss, a ripple of laughter runs through the crowd, drawing Paige and Azzi’s attention to a small commotion near the aisle. Jayden, who had somehow managed to wiggle free from Katie’s grasp, was clumsily making his way up the altar, his tiny legs moving with determined speed.
"Jayden!" Katie whispered out, trying to catch him, but he was already halfway there, his little face beaming with excitement at his mothers.
Paige chuckled, bending down to meet him as he reached the top. "Hey, buddy, what are you doing up here?" she asked, scooping him up effortlessly. But as soon as he was in her arms, Jayden leaned forward, his small hands reaching for Azzi.
"Mamma!" he exclaimed, his voice filled with pure joy.
Azzi laughed softly, stepping closer to take him from Paige’s hands. "You just couldn’t wait, could you?" she murmured, cradling him easily.
Jayden nestled into Azzi’s arms, his tiny fingers brushing her face as he babbled happily, completely oblivious to the significance of the moment. Paige leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to Jayden’s temple, her heart full as she took in the sight of their little family.
Together, the three of them turned to face their guests, who were still applauding and cheering. Paige reached for Azzi’s free hand, lacing their fingers together, while Jayden waved excitedly at the crowd, basking in the attention he thought he was getting.
As they began their exit, walking down the aisle as a newly married couple, Jayden’s laughter filled the air, a perfect counterpoint to the joyous celebration around them. The three of them moved in sync, a seamless unit, their love evident to everyone watching.
As they reached the dressing room, Azzi gently shifted Jayden in her arms before setting him down on the carpeted floor. "Alright, Jay," she said with a grin, ruffling his hair. "Go burn off some of that energy while Mommy and I get ready."
He didn’t need any more encouragement. He immediately toddled over to the vanity table, his tiny hands reaching for a brush and a bottle of lotion, his curiosity piqued at their shapes.
Azzi shook her head with a soft laugh. "He's always into something," she said, turning toward Paige, who was already stepping closer.
"Let him," Paige murmured, her voice low as she reached for Azzi's hands, pulling her gently toward her. Without hesitation, Paige leaned in, her lips capturing Azzi's in a slow, deliberate kiss. Her hands slid up Azzi's arms, pulling her closer as her body pressed against hers.
Azzi exhaled softly, her resolve melting as she got lost in the kiss, her hands instinctively resting on Paige’s neck. For a moment, everything else disappeared—their surroundings, the noise from outside the dressing room, even Jayden’s little voice humming in the background. It was just them, tangled in each other, the weight of the day momentarily forgotten.
But then, a soft clattering noise from Jayden’s direction pulled Azzi back to reality. She broke the kiss reluctantly, her forehead pressing against Paige's as she laughed breathlessly. "Paige," she whispered, her voice filled with a mix of amusement and warning, "We can’t. Jay’s right there, baby."
Paige grinned, her lips brushing against Azzi’s again in a teasing peck. "He’s busy," she said, her tone playful.
Azzi shook her head, stepping back slightly but not releasing Paige’s hands. "I know, but if he turns around and sees anything, we’re going to have to explain why Mommy and Mama are glued together."
Paige smirked, her thumb brushing over the back of Azzi's hand. "Fair point," she conceded with a soft laugh, stealing one last quick kiss before stepping back.
They both turned toward Jay, who was now intensely focused on trying to twist the cap off the lotion bottle now. Azzi crossed her arms, shaking her head. "We should probably intervene before he figures out how to make a mess."
Paige chuckled, walking over to scoop Jayden up in one swift motion. "Come here, troublemaker," she said, peppering his cheek with kisses as he giggled and squirmed in her arms.
Azzi watched them with a smile, her heart full as she took in the sight of her wife and son. "Alright," she said, grabbing the garment bag hanging on the nearby chair. "Let’s get ready for the reception before mister here decides to redecorate the room."
With laughter and lighthearted teasing, the three of them prepared for the next part of their perfect day.
…
The reception was in full swing, a joyful whirlwind of music, dancing, and heartfelt laughter. Azzi and Paige had been glued to each other all evening, their newlywed glow impossible to miss. Jayden had been whisked away earlier by Geno, who proclaimed his role as babysitter with such conviction that even Katie and Tim had no choice but to relent, laughing as they handed over the toddler and his overnight bag.
As the night progressed, Paige’s affection toward Azzi grew bolder, fueled by a steady stream of drinks courtesy of Jon, Jose, and Drew, who had made it their personal mission to keep her glass perpetually full for whatever reason.
Earlier in the evening, as they moved through the crowd, Azzi mingled effortlessly, stopping every so often to chat with family and friends. Paige, however, was focused entirely on her wife, trailing close behind and using every opportunity to whisper suggestive comments into Azzi’s ear.
“Baby, do you realize how good you look tonight?” Paige murmured as they paused near the bar. Her lips brushed against Azzi’s ear, sending a shiver down her spine.
Azzi tried to keep her composure, offering polite smiles to those around them. “Thank you, love. So do you.”
“Hmm, you think so?” Paige teased, her hand resting on the small of Azzi’s back. She leaned closer, her voice dropping to a sultry whisper. “Because I think this dress is unfair. Do you know how hard it is to keep my hands to myself when you look this good?”
Azzi blushed, shooting her a look. “Paige, behave. We’re not alone.”
Paige grinned, unbothered by the warning. “Doesn’t matter. I’m your wife now. Pretty sure that gives me the right to tell you exactly how much I want to peel this dress off you later.”
Azzi’s cheeks burned as she bit back a laugh, shaking her head. “You’re insane.”
“And you’re irresistible,” Paige countered smoothly, her lips brushing against Azzi’s neck just enough to make her catch her breath before lightly smacking Paige’s stomach.
By the time they made it back around to the table, Paige’s teasing had reached new heights. They sat among a group of their old UConn teammates—Nika, KK, Ice, Aubrey, Caroline, Jana, Sarah, and Morgan—all of whom were thoroughly entertained by Paige’s antics.
Azzi was trying her best to engage in the lively conversation about their time in college, but Paige was making it nearly impossible. She kissed Azzi’s arm, then her shoulder, her lips trailing up to her neck as Azzi squirmed slightly in her seat.
"Paige, baby," Azzi whispered softly, attempting to pull back.
"Shh," Paige murmured, brushing her lips against Azzi’s ear. "Just let me kiss you. I’ve been waiting all day for this."
"She’s been waiting all day, Azzi," Nika quipped, laughing as she caught sight of Paige’s antics. "Let the girl have her moment."
Azzi shot her a playful glare. "You’re not helping."
"She’s a lover, what can we say?" KK added with a smirk.
"I can’t help it," Paige declared dramatically, wrapping an arm around Azzi’s waist. "Have you seen her tonight? She’s perfect."
“Okay, Paige, we get it,” Ice teased, raising her glass. “You’re married now. You won.”
"Exactly," Paige said, her voice dropping as she leaned closer to Azzi again. Her hand slid to Azzi’s thigh under the table, her lips brushing against her ear. "And later, when we’re alone, I promise I’m going to show you just how much I love you."
Azzi’s breath hitched, and she gently pushed Paige’s hand away. "Paige," she murmured, her voice firm but affectionate. "Not here baby."
Paige pouted, but the glint in her eye remained mischievous. "You’re no fun," she teased, resting her head on Azzi’s shoulder as the table erupted in laughter.
"You would think after all these years Paige wouldn’t still be this horny," Jana remarked, grinning from ear to ear.
Azzi laughed, her shoulders shaking as she responded, "I knew I was never going to get a break from day one, but I’ve learned to accept it," she added, looking at Paige.
"She’s going to tear into you," Aubrey said, shaking her head with a grin.
"You don’t say," Azzi replied dryly, though the fondness in her tone was unmistakable.
As the conversation continued, Paige remained firmly attached to Azzi, her lips brushing against her neck and cheek whenever she thought no one was looking. Azzi did her best to stay composed, but her teammates saw through it, exchanging amused glances.
"Azzi," Caroline teased, raising an eyebrow. "How are you even still upright right now?"
Azzi laughed, giving Paige’s hand a light squeeze. "It’s not easy, trust me," she replied, her gaze softening as she looked at her wife.
Paige grinned, pressing another kiss to Azzi’s cheek. "Good thing you’re strong, then," she murmured, her voice low enough that only Azzi could hear.
"Good thing I love you," Azzi replied, shaking her head as Paige beamed at her, utterly unapologetic.
…
The two of them had drifted away from the group trying to get a moment alone amidst all the chaos. They were now tucked into a quieter corner table, the low lighting casting a warm glow over their entwined figures. Paige was still draped over Azzi, her lips brushing against her neck and collarbone as her hand rested possessively on Azzi’s thigh. By now, Azzi, having indulged in her fair share of drinks, was no longer holding back. She leaned fully into Paige’s affection, a soft, pleased smile tugging at her lips.
Azzi leaned into Paige’s touch, her breath quickening as Paige’s fingers gently tugged at the fabric of her dress. She let out a soft, pleased hum, feeling the heat between her legs intensify. Her hand found its way into Paige’s hair, gently pulling her closer, encouraging her to kiss the sensitive spot just beneath her ear.
“You’re killing me, you know that?” Azzi whispered, her voice thick with desire as she tilted her head, giving Paige more access.
Paige’s lips brushed over Azzi’s skin, her voice low and urgent. “I can’t stop,” she murmured, fingers lightly tugging at the fabric of Azzi’s dress again, her touch sending sparks through Azzi’s body. “You feel so good, just like this.”
Azzi’s breath caught, and she leaned in, her lips brushing against Paige’s ear. “You make me feel good, too,” she purred, the warmth of her breath sending a shiver down Paige’s spine.
Paige’s eyes darkened, the intensity of her gaze never leaving Azzi’s. Her fingers moved higher on Azzi’s thigh, inching dangerously close to where they both wanted her touch the most. “You’re so perfect,” Paige whispered, her lips grazing the side of Azzi’s neck again, her words dripping with want. “I can’t wait to feel all of you in my hand.”
Azzi’s body responded immediately, her chest rising and falling with shallow breaths as she bit her lip, fighting the urge to close the space between them completely with them still being in public. “You’ve been teasing me all night,” she murmured, her voice coming out breathlessly as she met Paige’s eyes. “I don’t know how much longer I can stand it.”
Paige’s lips found Azzi’s neck again, this time lingering there, pressing slow kisses along the skin. Her fingers traced the hem of Azzi’s dress, slipping under it just slightly as she tugged the fabric again, a subtle but clear request for more.
Azzi let out a low moan, her hand gripping Paige’s shoulder as she gave in to the temptation. “Paige...” she whispered, her voice rough with desire. “I can’t wait, baby. I want you. Right now.”
Paige’s breath hitched at the sound of Azzi’s words, the intensity of her longing for her wife growing. “God, Azzi,” she murmured, her lips brushing against her wife’s ear again, voice thick with need. “You have no idea what I wanna do to you.”
Azzi purred softly, her fingers now threading through Paige’s hair, tugging her face closer, her lips meeting Paige’s in a desperate, desperate kiss. “I think I do,” she whispered between kisses. “And I love every second of imagining it.”
Paige responded with a hum of satisfaction, her hand sliding higher on Azzi’s thigh, pulling her even closer. Their bodies moved against each other, the urgency of their desire palpable in their kiss. Neither of them could get enough.
But just as their kiss deepened, the air around them changed with a loud laugh echoing from the main reception area, shattering their intimate bubble. The sound cut through the haze of desire, pulling their attention back to reality.
Azzi broke the kiss, her eyes flicking to Paige, a mischievous smile tugging at her lips. “Guess we’re not alone after all,” she murmured, reluctantly pulling back just enough to meet Paige’s gaze.
Paige let out a frustrated sigh, her fingers still tracing the curve of Azzi’s thigh. “Too bad,” she said, her voice low and husky, though there was a playful spark in her eyes. “I was just starting to enjoy myself.”
Azzi chuckled softly, resting her forehead against Paige’s for a brief moment before pulling back to glance toward the reception. “Me too,” she agreed, though the fire in her eyes remained undiminished.
Both women groaned softly, reluctant to return to the party. Paige rested her forehead against Azzi’s again for a moment, her voice quiet but firm. “This isn’t over,” she murmured, her lips brushing against Azzi’s.
Azzi smirked, her thumb brushing over Paige’s cheek. “It better not be,” she whispered, her eyes gleaming with anticipation.
Their stolen moment left them both buzzing, hearts racing as they turned their attention back to the lively reception, counting down the moments until they could finally be alone.
…
When they finally reached their hotel room, the door had barely clicked shut before Paige spun Azzi around and pressed her firmly against it. The force of the move drew a startled gasp from Azzi, her back hitting the wood as Paige’s long fingers wrapped possessively around her throat.
Their lips immediately collided in a messy, passionate kiss, all restraint from earlier completely gone now. Paige’s movements were uncoordinated but intense, her need for Azzi clear as their tongues tangled. Azzi moaned into her mouth, her hands gripping Paige’s shoulders for balance, completely lost in the moment.
Paige didn’t waste a second. Her knee slid between Azzi’s legs, pressing up just enough to draw a sharp inhale from her wife. Azzi panted against Paige’s lips, her head tipping back slightly as Paige broke the kiss and began trailing hot, open-mouthed kisses down her neck.
“You look so good like this ma,” Paige whispered against Azzi’s skin, her voice a mix of slur and desire. Her teeth grazed Azzi’s collarbone before her lips followed, leaving a trail of heat in their wake. “Do you know how long I’ve been thinking about this? About making you mine like this?”
Azzi shuddered, her hands clutching the fabric of Paige’s shirt as she let out a soft laugh, her voice shaky but teasing. “You’re acting like you haven’t already had me a million times,” she murmured, her words broken by a gasp as Paige’s knee pressed harder against her.
Paige smirked against her neck, her grip on Azzi’s throat tightening ever so slightly. “Not like this baby,” she murmured, her voice thick with intent. “This is different. You’re my wife now. Forever mine.”
Paige’s words hung in the air, thick with promise, but before she could fully process the weight of them, Azzi’s hands were on her shoulders, pulling her in for another kiss. This one was frantic, desperate—a reflection of both their needs, the alcohol still thick on their breaths as they kissed wildly. Their lips barely met before they pulled away, only to crash together again. The kiss was messy, unrefined, but that was the point—it was as if neither of them could get close enough, couldn’t have enough of the other after today.
Azzi’s fingers tightened in Paige’s hair as she broke the kiss, panting against her lips. “You’re mine too, Paige,” Azzi breathed out, voice ragged. “Forever.”
Paige’s heart raced at the sound of Azzi’s declaration, but Azzi wasn’t done. She pushed gently against Paige’s shoulders, urging her to kneel before her. Paige didn’t hesitate, following the command without question. She sank to her knees in front of Azzi, eyes dark with desire as she looked up at her wife.
Azzi took a small step back, then looked down at Paige, her own eyes dark and needy. Without missing a beat, she ran her fingers through Paige’s hair, guiding her forward. Paige’s lips trailed up Azzi’s legs, leaving kisses as she went, the sensation sending tremors through Azzi’s body.
Azzi’s breath hitched with every kiss. “God, Paige,” she gasped, her voice shaky as Paige’s lips pressed against her thighs as she pushed her dress up, leaving marks in their wake. Each kiss made her more vocal, unable to hold back the sounds of pleasure bubbling up from deep within her. Her fingers tightened in Paige’s hair as she pulled her closer, desperate for more.
Paige’s lips moved higher, leaving teasing kisses up the inside of Azzi’s thigh. “Imma make you feel so good baby,” Paige muttered against her skin, the words almost reverent. She wasn’t just speaking, she was showing it—the pressure of her lips and hands as she kissed Azzi’s thinly covered center, fueling the desire that had been building since the moment they stepped into the room.
Azzi’s body shivered with each kiss. “Fuck, Paige,” she breathed, her voice raw. She ran her fingers through Paige’s hair, pulling impossibly closer to her as she looked down at her wife. “You don’t even know how much I need you right now.”
Paige responded with a low groan as she pushed her underwear to the side, her lips and tongue brushing against Azzi, this time slower, more deliberate, as she gazed up at her wife through her hooded blue eyes. “Nah baby I can tell. You taste so good for me.”
Azzi’s breath catches in her throat, her chest rising and falling with each labored inhale. She runs her fingers through Paige’s hair, tugging her closer, as if desperate for more. “You make it so hard to think, Paige…” Azzi whispers, her voice shaky. “Every time you look at me like that, I forget everything. I forget who I am.”
Paige smiles, as she continues her work as Azzi grinds her hips into Paige trying to create more friction despite Paige lapping at her like she hadn’t had Azzi in years. “Baby, fuck, you feel so good” Azzi whimpers. Paige simply hums at this as she drapes Azzi’s leg over her shoulder to drive her tongue in deeper.
Azzi throws her head back against the door, gripping Paige’s head and anything else she can to steady herself. With her voice low and breathy and tinged with awe she says, “Mmm I knew you’d be like this tonight–Fuck baby don’t stop–I love it when you fuck me like this baby. Feels so good.”
Azzi’s words spur Paige on more as she continues her work expertly, knowing exactly what Azzi likes after all these years. The pressure of Paige’s tongue makes Azzi’s breath catch, her eyes fluttering closed as she becomes overwhelmed with the feeling but she leans into it, pushing her hips towards Paige as the tension coils tighter in her stomach.
Azzi is basically riding Paige’s face as Paige looks up at her mumbling, “You gonna come for me baby?”
She makes the mistake of looking down at Paige whose mouth is wet and her pupils are completely dilated. Azzi immediately throws her head back as she starts making pornographic sounds with her throat, “Mmm fuck Paige baby–No…no not yet baby. Fuck I don’t want it to end you’re doing so good.”
This only spurs Paige on more at her wife not wanting to come undone for her so she drives her tongue deeper as she works her thumb in circles. Azzi’s body trembles, her eyes now watching Paige despite every instinct inside her wanting her to look away. She’s fighting the pull of pleasure that wants her to come undone right at this moment even though she knows Paige doesn’t like that.
Azzi’s eyes are blurry now as she tries to keep herself under control for a few more seconds but Paige curls her tongue a certain way and Azzi finds releasing the tension in her stomach, “Yes…yes right there baby… don’t stop baby. Right there please. I’m ready to cum for you baby” Azzi gasps her body arching off of the door as she feels a wave of sensation crashing through her as her mouth falls open in pure bliss, her legs shaking as Paige holds her up.
Before Azzi can fully recover Paige is kissing up her body leaving open mouth kisses in Azzi’s favorite spots. Once she reaches her lips Paige immediately pulls Azzi in for a kiss, putting her tongue in her wifes mouth so she can taste herself causing Azzi to moan.
As their kiss deepens, Paige’s hands slide down Azzi’s body, one of them drifting behind her, fingers grazing her spine. And with a slight tug, she unzips Azzi’s dress, the sound of the zipper scraping against the fabric filling the air between them. Azzi moans into the kiss as the fabric loosens exposing her back to the air, before Paige pulls it down with ease, revealing the purple lingerie beneath. The sight makes Paige’s breath hitch, her eyes darkening further if possible as she gazes at her wife standing in front of her.
Azzi's hands press firmly against Paige’s chest, gently pushing her back toward the bed, her lips swollen and flushed, her breathing ragged. "Get on the bed for me, baby," Azzi demands in a voice thick with need, her hands already moving to the buttons of Paige’s shirt before she just pulls at the fabric with urgency, the buttons flying off in every direction, scattering across the floor.
Paige lets out a breathy laugh, the moment only spurring her desire. She stands still, letting Azzi remove the shirt, her skin now exposed except for the tight-fitting tank top she’s wearing underneath. Azzi runs her hands over Paige’s bare skin, her fingers grazing over her ribs, before locking eyes with her and dragging her hand down her torso. “You look so good, baby,” Azzi whispers, her voice low, full of hunger and admiration.
Paige smiles, her heart racing, as she climbs onto the bed, pulling Azzi along with her. Azzi follows, crawling up to her in the most seductive way as she moves with an almost hypnotic rhythm that makes Paige want to take her right there again and again. When Azzi finally straddles Paige, the sight is enough to send Paige’s heart into overdrive. Her breath catches as she whispers, "You have no idea what you do to me. Even after all these years.”
Azzi’s lips curled into a teasing smile, her confidence radiating as she leaned down to press her mouth against Paige’s neck. She moved slowly, her kisses deliberate and sensual, each one igniting a trail of shivers that coursed through Paige’s body. Azzi had perfected this art over time, each touch an unspoken testament to how well she knew Paige—every sensitive spot, every little weakness.
Her long hair tumbled to one side, the strands brushing against Paige’s skin and adding to the electric intimacy of the moment. Azzi kissed her way lower, unhurried, savoring the effect she was having as Paige’s breath quickened, her body instinctively arching into Azzi’s.
When Azzi’s hands found their way to Paige’s belt, her movements were smooth and practiced, each motion deliberate, carrying the weight of countless nights like this, where Azzi had mastered the balance of teasing and taking control. With a flick of her fingers, the belt came undone, her slow pace almost maddening, a silent assertion of her dominance in this moment which started as soon as she had Paige on her knees for her. Paige’s breath hitched, a sound that sent a satisfied smirk spreading across Azzi’s lips.
The way Azzi carried herself now, every kiss, every touch, was brimming with the ease of someone who knew exactly what she was doing. Their years together had transformed their intimacy into something deeper, richer—a choreography of passion honed by countless nights of exploration and learning each other’s bodies.
“Still with me, baby?” Azzi whispered against Paige’s skin, her voice velvet-soft but dripping with confidence, knowing full well that Paige was at her mercy.
Paige throws her head back in pleasure, her hands gripping the sheets. In that moment, she realizes how completely she’s fallen into Azzi’s orbit—how grateful she is that she crossed that line with her all those years ago. That night, when she had first given in to Azzi's pull, back when they were just friends, and how it changed everything between them. Now, after everything they’ve been through, after their wedding, this moment felt like the perfect culmination of everything they had built together. She’s never been this sure, this needy for someone in the way she is for Azzi..
“God, Azzi,” Paige breathes out, her voice raw with desire as she lifts her hips slightly, giving Azzi more access.
Azzi grins, pulling the belt free with a soft tug before gliding her hands under the waistband of Paige’s pants. The anticipation is almost unbearable, and yet, Azzi takes her time, savoring every second. “You’re my wife now,” Azzi murmurs, her voice low and full of intention, as her hands slowly inch the fabric down.
The words send a rush of heat through Paige, and for a split second, she’s left wondering how she ever lived without this intensity, this connection. The thought lingers, and she shivers in anticipation as Azzi finally pulls the pants down, exposing more of Paige’s skin.
Azzi runs her hands over Paige’s legs, feeling the warmth of her body, the soft curves beneath her fingertips. The contact is electric, and it’s almost too much for Paige to handle. "God Azzi, I don’t know how you make me feel like this," Paige manages to gasp, lifting her hips again, silently begging Azzi to take control, to take her.
Azzi pauses, her gaze locking with Paige’s, her eyes dark with desire. “Let me show you,” Azzi whispers, leaning down to kiss her again. But this time, it’s slower—deeper. Azzi’s lips trace the curve of Paige’s jaw, down her neck, stopping to leave a trail of heated kisses that make Paige’s pulse quicken.
Each kiss is a promise, each touch a question Azzi asks without words. Paige can’t help but respond, her hands reaching for Azzi’s bra, unclasping it free from her body, desperate to feel her bare skin against hers. The fabric falls to the floor, and Paige’s fingers wander to the skimpy waistband of Azzi’s underwear, mimicking the way Azzi had undressed her moments ago, eager to return the pleasure.
Azzi’s lips find their way to Paige’s ear, where she whispers, “You want me again, don’t you? Want me as much as I want you?”
Paige nods, her breathing ragged as she pulls Azzi closer, wrapping her legs around her waist. “More than anything,” she whispers back, her voice trembling with the intensity of the moment.
Azzi pulls back just enough to meet her eyes again, her gaze softening for a moment, a glimmer of affection mixed with the raw desire between them. “You have me, Paige. All of me…forever.” Then she kisses her deeply once more, taking the time to savor the connection between them, each kiss a declaration of everything they’ve built, everything they’re about to share.
The weight of everything settles in as Paige pulls Azzi close, the years of being apart, of growing their family together, and the joy of finally, fully being together. This moment is everything they’ve worked for, everything they’ve fought for. And as their hands trace each other’s bodies, as they continue to lose themselves in each other, Paige realizes that this is it—the final chapter. Their journey, their story, culminating here, in this moment of complete love and understanding. It’s not just the start of a new life together; it’s the closing of a long, beautiful journey.
As the kiss lingers between them, soft and filled with everything they’ve learned about each other, about love, the two of them finally fall into the peace that only being truly with each other can bring. There are no more games, no more uncertainties, just the two of them, completely and utterly intertwined in a love that has lasted years, and will continue forever.
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i think that one of the most tragic aspects of venti's character is the fact that no matter how hard he tries, no replication that he can make of the bard will ever be perfect because for a single image or concept to be long-lasting and static goes entirely against the nature of the wind.
it has been consistently emphasised throughout the game that "seeds of stories brought by the wind" will be "cultivated" by time - in other words, they will grow, but they will never remain the same as they were when they were first told; to try to remove that element of warping and artistic interpretation that is inevitable as a story is passed on is like trying to bottle up a storm and hoping that'll stop it from damaging the surroundings - instead, no one will ever know about it, and the only thing that it will have left to destroy will be itself.
venti is basically doing exactly this by trying to preserve the bard's memory - the only way to stop it from being warped would be to remove it from any kind of environment where that could happen, which would require taking the story out of circulation, which then means that he is the only living being who knows it in its whole detail and entirety. he understands, however, the fallibility of his own memory, as can be seen in how reminders of it seem to shake him; in his story quest, he seems strangely unguarded after resolving the situation with hans (whose story is massively identical to venti's for a reason - having a mirror can be very useful for storytelling, and genshin relies on it perhaps a bit too much), describing the barbatos statue as "the usual place" despite the fact that for our traveler, it is not (this ties into another theory that i am Not going into here lol). we know that venti prizes being able to keep a certain level of anonymity, with him describing the traveler's high level of intuition as "scary", so for him to show even the slightest level of disregard for maintaining his façade suggests that being faced with the reality of the impossibility of his self-imposed purpose is something that did really bother him (which tbf makes sense now that i write it out).
comparisons have been made before between venti and zhongli wherein the irony of having a god of wind whose appearance is unchanging and a god of stone who is (supposedly, if we assume zhongli's teasing about his own past forms to be reflective of the truth) in contrast constantly shifting is often key, and in a lot of ways zhongli's situation does mirror venti's in many ways; he theoretically has the ability to accurately preserve history as one would by carving it into stone, and yet it is almost as if he lets it slip through his fingers instead - he finds humour in inaccurate historical accounts and allows himself to change, not just physically but in terms of attitude (the whole point of the liyue aq is for him to be able to do this; to live as a mortal after millenia spent overseeing as a god). in many ways venti and zhongli are polar opposites, but the theme of wanting to transcend one's physical constraints, of wanting a state of existence that the other already in theory has, is consistent throughout both.
venti, however, seems to be so much more uncomfortable with this than zhongli is, and this awareness of the issue while still being so bothered by it to the extent that he pushes it away even more, causing the pressure in that jar to by extension increase too, is where the true point of tragedy lies.
maybe, though, by deciding to share the bard's story with the traveler, he is beginning to accept the necessity for change.
#venti#zhongli#god i spent way too long writing this#it's probably incoherent as fuck but i can't bear to look at it for a second longer. don't be like me kids. actually proof read your essays#genshin
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*coughcough* lando/kimi/ollie/oscar/lance/yuki (separate not polyam lol) and their reactions to a) reader leaving them limping and b) readers back being a scratched up MESS
(sorry if this is too much 🤪)
love ya (hehehehehehehe) 😘
-bear ❤️
love you bear <3
under cut bc nsfw. obviously.
kimi antonelli:
at first he's soooooo bitter about not being able to walk normally
he's cussing you out in italian under his breath
i mean he literally told you he wanted you to go as hard as you could
but he doesn't like dealing with the consequences of his actions
he's making the most exaggerated wincing faces whenever he passes you with his limp
you don't say anything for a while
but when he starts being too much of a brat
you'll take your shirt off and turn around to show him the deep red lines going down the length of your back
kimi's blushing like crazy but
he's also proud
like yeah
his bf is so good you got him to do THAT to you without even knowing it
lance stroll:
i've said it before and i'll say it again
lance is a princess
more than that, he's your princess
which means you leave him limping frequently, and he leaves intricately scratched patterns on your back just as often
he'll be so whiny and demanding about it but in a cute way?
like he doesn't really need much. he asks you to lie down on your stomach while he takes a picture of your back for his collection, asks you to carry him to the sofa and get him some food
and then he's pretty content to watch a tv show while you do whatever because he can still see you
the only hard and fast rule is that you must never wear a shirt at home when your back's scratched up
be proud of his work please and thank you
lando norris:
brat
you know how the most pampered dog in existence sighs like he's had the most terribly horrible pathetic life
that's what lando does
he'll sleep later than you, so you're already dressed by the time he wakes up
you bring him breakfast in bed, kiss his forehead, make sure his water is still cold, and let him ramble to you about whatever strange dream he had the night before like you always do
but then he'll shift and feel that ache (totally whines about how unfair it is that something that feels soooo good can then make him feel bad things. calls it a sex hangover)
and he'll definitely drop food on your shirt specifically
neither of you know how it always hits you and not him but lando's certainly not complaining
breakfast in bed + his boyfriends gorgeous body? what more could a guy want
immediately shuts up and stops being obnoxious when he sees how he's basically shredded your back
k bear i'm gonna ask you to send me this again with ollie oscar and yuki bc i wanna get this out now as a thank you for helping tonight but i am also almost falling asleep at my computer 💔 i will definitely write the other half, just ... when i can see the keyboard again lol
#vinnie's 250#formula 1 x male reader#kimi antonelli x male reader#lance stroll x male reader#lando norris x male reader#🐻 anon
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deck the halls.
‣ pairing — ransom drysdale x f!reader
‣ contents — oneshot, coarse language, fluff, xmas/holidays, mutual disdain but it’s actually just mutual not-so-secret shameful pining
‣ synopsis — for the first time, you think that working for linda drysdale the night before christmas might not be such a bad thing after all.
‣ word count — 3.4k
‣ notes — tbh i’m not very happy with how this turned out but whatever, i’ve been stressing about this for way too long because it’s my first ransom fic, and i’m just done lol. shout out to @intrepidacious though for chatting with me about this fic all winter while i struggled, doing her best to motivate me and letting me vent my writing frustrations through the entire process. ilysm nika 💕
✩ read on ao3 ✩ janie’s masterlist ✩ library blog
Christmastime is here Happiness and cheer Fun for all that children call Their favourite time of yea—
You angrily jam the pad of your finger against the speaker’s power button, cutting off the quaint holiday music and plummeting Linda Drysdale’s normally busy real estate office into silence.
For someone who consistently prides themselves on being so sensible and logical, you sure can be stupid sometimes.
Because you drag a free office chair towards you, anchoring it against the wall as best as you can before climbing on top of it. You teeter precariously, cursing under your breath as you strain to loop a gaudy red and green garland over the push pins above the office doorway.
Linda, however, is even stupider, asking you to put up these god awful decorations before going home, not even providing you with so much as a step stool to do so—even though you obviously aren’t tall enough to reach on your own, even though she said you didn’t have to work overtime today (why, thank you Linda, considering it’s Christmas Eve and all), even though it was already 4:45 when she asked.
One phone call would be all it took to have OSHA crawling up her ass, but because you were only ever a badass in your own head, long after the conversation was over and there was no longer anything you could do about it, you just nodded meekly at your boss instead of telling her exactly where you thought she could shove her precious decorations.
Besides, she’d probably walk away with nothing more than a slap on her wrist anyway—if that.
“A bit to the left, Cindy Lou Who,” comes a voice, the low dulcet baritones that are the bane of your existence, like a persistent under-the-skin itch you can’t ever seem to scratch. You take a deep stabilizing breath upon hearing the nickname, a heat flaring in your cheeks that has nothing to do with the whiskey-spiked hot chocolates you’ve been secretly sipping all day.
You shoot him a withered glare over your shoulder. Ransom, the devil-spawn of your she-devil boss, is lounging lazily in your chair, leaning back with his arms casually linked over his abdomen as he observes your efforts to stay balanced and graceful.
Trust the smug little brat to show up tonight of all nights, when your patience is already wearing thin. No doubt he’s just here to piss you off before swanning over to the posh holiday party happening at his mother’s place tonight—one you’ve never been invited to despite all your years working for Linda, by the way—while you trudge home to a dark and empty studio apartment, with not even so much as a goldfish to welcome you back.
Ransom just smirks back at you through a mouthful of white chocolate chips and macadamia nuts, his hand already rummaging for another cookie from the package he’s stolen right out of the bottom drawer of your desk.
You release a huff of frustration.
There he sits, without a care in the world in his perfectly tailored wool coat and immaculately styled hair that somehow remains untouched by the howling winter wind outside, looking like he’s just stepped out of an issue of GQ.
He doesn’t deserve it, you lament, his coat already starting to pill at the undersides of the sleeves and his sweater probably just a tug at one loose strand away from unravelling completely.
Whoops. You almost fall off the chair for the fifth time since you started this ridiculous endeavour, trying to shake off the mental image of a very shirtless Ransom, tangled in a web of soft white yarn.
What? You can hate someone down to their grimy little bones and still think they’re hot.
Besides, the devil wouldn’t be the devil if he weren’t tempting, would he?
“A real piece of work… the both of you…” you mutter to yourself now, your colourful vocabulary back in full working order now that Linda is holed away in her office and well out of earshot. “She could cut me some slack, you know… Christmas, for crying out loud… and I haven’t eaten all day!”
The asshole nepo-baby just peers up at you past the phone he’s been holding up in front of his face, blinking lazily and not offering any kind of response or assistance—not that you’d expected him to.
“Right, I forgot who I was talking to,” you speak slowly and deliberately, like you’re explaining something rather complicated to a small child. “You see, us humans need to eat food regularly for sustenance.”
“Wow,” Ransom deadpans, his voice muffled through cookie crumbs.
“Yeah, it is terribly inconvenient,” you shrug exaggeratedly, “but not all of us can subsist on the shards of broken souls and children’s nightmares, can we?”
“Calling me the devil again?” He scoffs, rolling his eyes. “You’re so original; how about you get a new thing?”
“Don’t you have some place to be?” You sneer, your grip tightening on the garland, the plastic biting into your palms as you twist a string of fairy lights around the rest of it. “Why the fuck are you even here?”
It’s a perfectly valid question. Linda is always threatening to cut her son off, but that hasn’t prevented him from skipping out on work as much as possible and galavanting around the city, maxing out her credit cards every chance he gets.
But you know she’ll never actually follow through; He shows himself here just often enough to keep her from seriously considering it, doing his small part to show off a carefully crafted picture for the masses—showing the scions of Boston’s wealthiest family in a united front.
And if there’s one thing Ransom likes more than he hates his family or earning an honest wage, it’s the weight of green lining the deep but frayed pockets of his expensive designer pants.
That shiny Drysdale veneer is all that matters, after all, and you know very well that Ransom’s only real job is to keep it nice and polished. But you’ve been working long enough at this soul-sucking place to notice the telltale signs, to see the cracks beneath the varnish.
The way you swear you see a flicker of something that looks a lot like dread whenever Linda calls his name.
The way his signature smirk twitches with just a hint of irritation whenever some angry coworker, once again passed over for a long overdue promotion in favour of giving Ransom a hefty allowance bonus, calls him a talentless, hopeless, literal son of a bitch.
The way he cracks those self-deprecating jokes about how the only real ambition he has in life is finding new ways to disappoint his relatives, and squander as much of the family fortune as he possibly can.
It’s no surprise, really, that Ransom’s turned out the way he has. You’ve heard the way they all talk about him sometimes, his family seemingly oblivious to your working-class existence.
Never mind the fact that whenever you happen to glance over at him, Ransom’s eyes are almost always on you—watching and assessing with that same inscrutable expression on his face.
Not that you pay close attention or anything.
Not that you care, either.
And never will you admit that it unnerves the hell out of you, almost like he’s trying to see through you—right down to the restless person who hides beneath a false bravado, a sarcastic sense of humour, and mountains of paperwork piled up high on your desk.
The feeling of being seen, so terrible and stirring at the same time.
And yet, you shiver, there’s something about it that rivets you. Something electric, like a live wire running just beneath your skin. It’s the feeling you get when he looks at you with those icy blue eyes, his expression going from scathing to almost inquisitive within seconds, when the two of you are trading jabs and insults like his mother isn’t the one who signs your paycheques.
If you are carbon, then he’s the igniting flame.
But you know better, don’t you? Ransom is trouble, plain and simple—the kind with zero direction in life, the kind with a new girl on his arm every week, leaving them to wake up in the mornings to cold bed sheets and memories of promises he’d never intended to keep.
You will die a fiery death before you come another notch on his bedpost. Not that you even care whether he thinks of you that way at all, because even the idea of doing that with Ransom is—
Shit. You shiver again.
You’re playing with fire by even thinking about him at all, even though you feel the incredibly annoying pull of his presence like a magnet, even though you know you need to stay as far away from him as possible, and even though you are very keenly aware that there’s something here.
It looms large yet goes unacknowledged whenever your eyes lock, when he’s looking at you like he wants to bury you and devour you at the same time, when you’re itching with the knowledge that you’re only keeping him at as much of a distance as you can physically stand.
Why else haven’t you told him yet, in no uncertain terms, to fuck right off?
Because there’s a part of you that can’t help but wonder what it would be like to let yourself burn—to feel the heat of that passion you can see in his eyes that he never seems to give into, to feel whatever warmth he might muster from beneath the complicated layers of that thing beating in his chest, to feel him next to you as that terrible something you won’t ever name finally erupts and consumes everything in its path.
Ugh. You absolutely loathe yourself for it, and it makes you want to bash your forehead repeatedly against the wall.
“Someone’s going on the naughty list,” Ransom snickers, the sound infuriatingly close now. You do your best not to startle at the new proximity; he’s put his phone away, unfolded himself from your chair with that unexpectedly languid grace, crossing the room to toss your now empty package of cookies into the trash. “And is that any way to speak to a valued coworker?”
“You? Valued? Coworker?”
“Oh, don’t be jealous, Cindy Lou,” he chides, leaning against the edge of an empty desk barely a step away, crossing his arms over his broad chest, then lowering his voice to whisper conspiratorially, “I hear it’s a sin.”
“Jealous?” You laugh humourlessly, snorting in a way that is decidedly very unladylike. “Of what? The fact that you’ve never worked a day in your life and have the soft white hands of a geisha?”
“Oh yeah? Been thinking about my hands a lot, have you?” He smirks again, and you bite back an exasperated moan—er, groan.
“Namely,” you say sarcastically, turning away from him and reaching up for a particularly high spot. “Breaking all the feeble little bones in your tiny rat-like claws, preferably with a nice sturdy lump of coal.”
“I’m not the one who’s gone on a rampage,” Ransom gestures to the office, now adorned with shiny little baubles, bundles of sparkly tinsel, and rolls of satin ribbon, “and vandalized the office.”
“Vandal—it looks festive, you heartless ghoul!” You whip around to glare at him again, momentarily forgetting your unstable position. But instead of rolling away from the wall and taking you with it, the chair beneath you stays firmly in place. Confused, you glance down to see Ransom’s outstretched feet casually braced against the legs.
Your head snaps up so quickly you think you might get whiplash, eyes narrowing accusatorially only to see him looking away, feigning nonchalance despite the fact that his ears are turning red.
Blood rushes to your cheeks, a traitorous warmth spreading through them. You curse mentally for the umpteenth time, feeling the corners of your perfidious mouth threatening to curve up into a smile.
The bar really is in hell, isn’t it?
“You…” you squeak, clearing your throat a few times to get your voice back to normal. “It’s five. You should go get your mother now.”
“Why, am I distracting you?” Ransom replies, tucking his hands into his pockets and still not making eye contact. “And don’t rush me. I’d rather eat glass than sit through another one of Linda’s fuckin’ Christmas parties.”
“Right, because of your repellant personality?” You quip only half-sarcastically.
“So I’m told,” he drawls, but strangely he sounds more pleased than offended by your observation. “But then again, you’re no picnic either, are you Cindy?”
“Excuse me?” You finally climb off the chair, the last of the garland securely in place. You ignore those stupid feelings stirring inside you at the sight of him retracting his legs a second too slow, and only when both your feet are firmly on the floor.
“You can’t tell me you work so hard because you like your job,” he chortles, his smirk twisting into something just a tiny bit meaner this time. “Aw, sweetheart, do you not have any friends?”
You snort so loud it almost hurts, trying not to focus on just how much you and Ransom have in common—a fact he also seems content to leave unaddressed. “Oh, like you do?”
The mental image of Ransom sitting in his mother’s living room, laughing and sharing wine with a bunch of people in front of a roaring fire like he isn’t a raging sociopath makes you shudder.
“Although, I guess I am curious,” you relent with an inquisitive tilt of your head, ignoring the weight of his heavy gaze on your back as you rummage through the last of the decorations.
“Hm, do tell,” you hear him chuckle.
“About Christmas, you bumbling idiot,” you retort, rolling your eyes. “Can’t picture you and Linda decorating a tree or opening presents together.”
“Okay, that’s not even funny,” he grumbles, his expression twisting into something sour.
“Never? Not even when you were a kid?” You ask before you can stop yourself. Dangerous territory. You know too much about his personal life as it is, and this would only humanize him and that’s the very last thing you want.
“Sometimes,” he admits after a few seconds of agonizing silence, his voice uncharacteristically quiet, your eyes meeting, as always, when you look up at him. “Only ever at Harlan’s.”
You stare, unsure what to do with the underlying hint of something in his voice that doesn’t really belong. Harlan is the only person in his family you actually like, who exudes warmth and care even towards a spoiled and ungrateful grandson, and it takes you a moment to realize that the thing in Ransom’s voice might be affection.
It’s alien and unnerving, to say the least, but you still feel a traitorous tug at your heart strings.
“I can’t picture you as a kid,” you say, somehow managing to keep your voice from trembling as you quickly change the subject. Sweet Christmases with his adoring grandpa shouldn’t be something you associate with this overgrown man-child. And even if it is, it doesn’t change the fact that Ransom is a giant, gaping asshole. “I just see you, but… smaller.”
“And I bet you were just a naive little princess,” he smirks when you glare at him, “doting parents, thoughtful presents, cookies for Santa—spoiled in your own way.”
“Oh, don’t get it twisted,” you shake your head, putting up a defensive hand, “we aren’t sharing. That’s not what this is.”
“But you know what they say, Cindy,” he says as he leans in closer, stopping just inches away, so close you can smell the lingering scent of cinnamon and nutmeg on his breath, mingling with the saccharine aroma of peppermint and artificial pine clinging to his sweater. “Sharing is caring.”
His eyes blaze in an unspoken challenge, but before you can do anything else, like maybe start thinking that the bad idea that’s been plaguing you ever since you met this infernal man isn’t such a bad idea after all, the sound of Linda’s voice cuts through the air, as sharp as the diamonds she wears on her fingers.
“What are you two doing?”
The spell is broken, and Ransom looks away with that same infuriating smile that makes you both want to punch and ki—
“Hello, Mother,” Ransom all but sneers.
You step away with considerable effort, wringing your hands in front of you. Linda narrows her eyes in thinly-veiled suspicion, but doesn’t say anything as she begins walking towards you.
Ransom steps in front of you, shoving his hands into his pockets and jingling his keys, “We’d better get going. Your chariot awaits.”
“Have a nice evening, Mrs. Drysdale,” you pipe up, watching nervously as her eyes sweep across the office and your carefully placed decorations with cool indifference. She nods slightly and you breathe a sigh of relief; that’s as close to a thank you as you’ll ever get.
“Ransom, be a dear and go start the car,” Linda says, urging him towards the door with a sweep of her hand. Her son hesitates for only a millisecond, not even looking back as he turns on his heels and leaves.
Only you notice that his hands are clenched at his sides.
“Merry Christmas, dear,” she smiles tightly as she hands you an envelope likely containing your holiday bonus, and you snap back to attention. You take it from her with a quiet thank you, but then her smile quickly turns into a stern frown. “But don’t make a habit of having food delivered here.”
“Food?” You repeat, your brows coming together in confusion. Linda puts on her fur coat, pointing a single gloved finger at the doors. There is a delivery person standing on the other side of the glass, lifting and pointing at a plastic bag heavy with takeout containers.
“Air the place out before you leave,” Linda says as she breezes past him, not even turning back while she lifts a hand in dismissal.
Confused, you follow in her tracks, staring after her as she makes a dissatisfied face at Ransom’s car pulled right up next to the curb. You see him roll his eyes, leaning over to unlock and push the door open for her. Linda doesn’t look too thrilled, but steps in anyway. They drive away, a hint of a smile on Ransom’s face even though it looks like Linda’s already started in on him with her usual longwinded lectures.
You tell the delivery boy you didn’t order anything, but he looks just as puzzled. He checks the receipt and says your name, the office address, which you confirm are correct. He then recites the order: scallion pancakes, rice noodle rolls, steamed crystal dumplings, and a small black sesame latte—your standing order from your favourite restaurant in Chinatown, reserved for nights when you were working late.
“It’s already paid for,” he says, “you might as well take it.”
You do, locking the doors once he leaves and set the bag down onto a nearby desk. Before you’ve even untied it and opened the containers to check their contents, the grin that’s been brewing all night finally breaks free.
Because there’s only a handful of people in the world who know you’re here at the moment, but only one who knows you haven’t eaten yet today, and who knows that despite having permission to leave for the night, you’ll probably settle in for another few hours of tedious paperwork.
Still, you finish every last crumb of your dinner feeling lighter than you have all week.
Maybe you’ll ask him next time, despite all the reasons you probably shouldn’t, whatever happened to sharing is caring?—even if it sounds like an invitation.
And maybe you feel cheeky enough to send him a quick email before logging off, cackling to yourself when he finally fires back a scathing reply a few hours later, likely still sitting in a room full of people just like his mother, trying not to be absolutely miserable.
From: “El Diablo” <[email protected]> To: Reception <[email protected]> Subject: RE: Merry Christmas Oh fuck off, I don’t know what you’re talking about. ——————— From: Reception <[email protected]> To: “El Diablo” <[email protected]> Subject: Merry Christmas …and thanks for dinner, Drysdale.
And if, when you’re finally home long after the midnight hour, you’re tucked into bed feeling full and warm with the temptation to raise your lips into a smile as you drift off to sleep?
Well.
That’s really nobody’s business but your own, is it?
fin.
#ransom drysdale x reader#ransom drysdale x female reader#ransom drysdale x you#ransom drysdale x y/n#ransom drysdale fanfiction#ransom drysdale fluff#ransom drysdale x f!reader#ransom drysdale#chris evans character fanfiction#christmas fluff
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The thing that irritates me the most about Helluva Boss is the adamant need to waste any potential for depth in every character. The thing that stops me from abandoning this train wreck of a show and feeling total apathy for it is its wasted potential.
TOO MUCH FUCKING WASTED POTENTIAL.
And obviously, the elephant in the room, aka the blatant misogyny and double standards because viv is writing yaoi so the fans could consume the emotional uwu moments and porn. SO MUCH PORN DAMN IT.
And the thing that eats away at me is the characters such as stolas and stella had such an easy chance to be morphed into something so deep that the show could be a soap opera about their drama alone.
In my humble opinion, the Goetia demons shouldn't have been in this show at all. They belong in a show like Hazbin that's showcasing the upper echelon of hell. This should've been about IMP, but I'm not ripping that one bandaid off because the wound under it is a biohazard. Anyway, I wanted to offer a rewrite for the 😍 lovely poor uwu baby Stolas and his DEMON, BITCH OF A WIFE, Stella. (Yeah, the sarcasm's strong with this one)
First of all I love how her name means star 🌟. It ties in together nicely with the whole astrology aesthetic of the family. We're gonna ignore the born-to-be-a-bitch personality the show presented her as having and focus on what caused her issues.
First of all, she probably knew from a young age that she was going to be wed off into an arranged marriage (just like stolas), and she knew she had the responsibility of birthing an heir. That's going to affect how she views love and marriage in general. She'd see it as a transaction, that she can offer an heir and her body, and receive what she wants. I have no problem with her being a spoiled brat, a mean girl. In fact, take it up a notch. She can be both of that! She was probably given every materialistic thing she wanted since the day she was born other than love and affection. That probably made her narcissistic and selfish, with the "I get everything that I want and you can't stop me" attitude.
She's a party girl, and we stand for that. She seems to be very extroverted and outgoing, and that clashes with stolas' more subdued and introverted personality.
I see her as being EXTREMELY paranoid about appealing to the high society that she's a part of and keeping herself at the top of the food chain amongst other aristocrats, unlike stolas who only does it to keep face or avoid getting too much attention, she wants to be noticed ans seen. Her gossipy, high society friends also reinforce the fact that she never had normal friends who cared about her, and she never grew out of her mean girl phase.
I see her as someone with so much passion in her heart, and sadly, we had to see all that turned into rage. She has trouble controlling her temper and the constant rage that boils inside her, and she explodes and lashes out on people, especially stolas.
I see her going into a marriage with stolas with the same "I'll get what I want" attitude. He has power, money, and legions to his name, and he isn't necessarily bad looking. So stella is like, "Eh, might as well..."
He isn't her dream partner, but she goes into the marriage thinking she can mould him into her dream man. Or thinking he's meek enough to leave her on her own, or she could even manipulate him to do as she pleases. None of those go as planned, though.
.
.
.
I can lowky see her dragging him around as she shops and him just wanting to die inside, lol
Oh my, Anon, this quite a lot of words, but I actually really love your rewrite, I can see Stella actually watching Mean Girls while Stolas dies inside and just stares at the infinite lmao
But sadly, this is a Viv show, and you know that women in these kinds of shows aren't allowed to have any nuance beyond a one-note use or personality trait, unless they're stepping stools for the male cast, which in that case, they're allowed to have a bit more of depth, but not too much.
And yeah, actually, now that you mention it, the Goetia demons shouldn't have been in Helluva, if anything, they should've been shown on Hazbin, like you said, because we are following along a protagonist that was born in royalty (Charlie) and it would make a lot of sense to see the Goetia demons there, since it would be a royal meetup or something like that.
And lastly, about the porn... I can corroborate this since a lot of the designs made by Viv or by her team look... conventionally attractive, so conventional that's artificial and try hard at times, and also, pretty safe but sometimes pushing the limits a bit to pander to gay people (Vortex, Asmodeus and Satan, to name a few muscular characters that are quite popular, but also Moxxie, Chaz and Striker, also popular in the gay side of the fandom) but it always boils down to the same purpose: to get people horny, and this is exemplified so painfully clear when Loona shook her ass towards the camera in one of the episodes, turning out to be shameless furry bait, and when I say that these shows are gooning and softcore porn shows, it's because of deliberate shit like this.
But alas, thanks for your input, Anon, it's greatly appreciated and it's quite the palette cleanser to see someone competent pick up Viv's mess and restructure it into something actually compelling and nuanced.
#vivziepop critical#vivziepop criticism#anti vivziepop#fuck vivziepop#helluva critique#anti helluva boss#helluva boss critical#helluva boss criticism#helluva boss critique#helluva critical#helluva rewrite#helluva boss rewrite#anon ask#ask reply#ask and ye shall receive
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Thinking about how twojamie is literally perfect for time lord touch telepathy & why the trope is so addicting with them…
like both the Doctor & Jamie having a language barrier of some sort wherever their presence is key during the show—for Jamie, we know in early days TARDIS the translation matrix isn’t really addressed (mind I haven’t seen past Pertwee in classic so if this is discussed I’m not aware of it yet lol) shown in the underwater menace, when they try different languages on the Atlanteans—
and obviously when Jamie is returned home he will face the consequences of the rebellion which will inhibit language again. I think this sets him apart from other companions I’ve met so far since - though not really acknowledged - he always has to speak in his second language & of course is already isolated more than other non contemporary companions because as someone from the past he travels with people in his future, always — like in “The Roundheads” we get a glimpse of how isolated he feels from Ben/Polly in his early days, not just for being the new companion but for being from their distant past, and how he struggles to keep up with them (although interestingly not because they have some closer bond with the Doctor as “senior companions” which you see in like every other companion overlap hshhdkfkal)—
(And not completely off topic, but at Chicago TARDIS Hines mentioned how he was very much isolated on set & that Anneke/Michael were not really pleased to have him at the start - just the addition of a new companion nicking their lines & whatnot - especially since some plans toward the Faceless Ones involved booting Craze while Hines filled his role as token male companion so (taken from 1967 Chronicle included interview with Anneke) that probably bled into the acting/eu a teeny bit even if we all still get the strong familial impression from that crew since Polly as a character is so warming with 2 and Jamie; Polly/Ben’s superstitions combined with Jamie’s general exploration of the sci-fi world that is indistinguishable from magic — most prominently “Something At The Door” — is a really fun way to see how their divisions & complete differences overlap into the same shape but I can’t talk about that here lol).
Of course this kind of language/communicating in general ostracization persists (mildly) with Zoe-era since a huge rock in the TARDIS dynamic is Jamie’s even more apparent lack of understanding with the hard sci-fi shenanigans they encounter (the biggest examples being the Dominators/The Krotons/The Edge but that’s another conversation I think I’m getting distracted lmao)
Going back to literal language while this might be a stretch, at least in e.u. media Jamie’s biggest goal with Victoria regarding language is actually learning how to read & write, something he started sooner (when he reads in Evil of the Daleks) but for sure spent much time learning with her until the Doctor inevitably finished teaching him afterwards, as shown in “story of extinction” & “the dark path” & “the lost” and his literacy in web of fear/the mind robber/the story of extinction itself at the end. So these encounters whether verbal or written always involve others, and it’s with those others that he faces those barriers. (I swear there’s a point to this..)
At the same time, the Doctor has always had this disconnect from companions literally with Gallifreyan & obv w/ culture.
And going off of “The Christmas Invasion,” the translation matrix is linked to the Doctor (again if other media between 4-8 or EU discusses this pls lmk lol):
and you could debate the connection between the TARDIS, the Doctor, the circuit, and the choices made in translation but regardless it enforces the shortcomings of verbal communication whether or not by their own design.
So of course if two characters who interact have for the most part been failed by verbal communication they would probably find another way to understand each other. Like. Say. Touch. Let’s pretend that leads into the point about touch as their natural communication pre/sans telepathy. I’m not going to insert every picture of twojamie because if you read this far you probably already have those in your gallery.
I can’t talk about them leaning into one another because of upbringings and circumstance and timing bc this would never end 😭 but point is if they both struggle to express themselves through language then of course when they care about one another and want to express that, the faulty route is not going to be the one they take. They confide in one another through touch and when they feel like they can’t or don’t want to connect, touch is the first thing to go —
& of course this doesn’t last long (just like the silent treatment,, because that’s what this is on some level beyond this uncomfortable betrayal and jarring moment after so much time growing to trust each other & the sudden change of losing Ben/Polly & it’s just us now added to EOTD - ‘I’m not ready to hear your excuses until I’ve been heard’ bc the communication of intent was so key here as well as ensuing actions….gah) because only moments later Jamie initiates touch:
Which is. At the apparent threat. Of course. And which is also just Hines & Troughton. But over thinking it is cool. haha. 💀💀💀 im losing my mind.
The Doctor is of course always a bit disjointed at the beginning but especially since so much of 1’s development is just learning to interact with & respect human beings, 2 has all of that progress behind her and now applies it. With a new body and companions who don’t quite understand how she fits into it. And then there is Jamie who is just as new. So. I think we’ve all already looked at that sort of shared isolation in their own worlds pre-meeting one another and even on the TARDIS. The Doctor leaving Gallifrey obviously, and then the many, many hints in eu/tv that suggest Jamie feels like he has deserted(his attitude through the Roundheads/twg/slave war I guess……and like yeah deserting has the consequences of. Violent Things. But it’s also def an offense to faith/loyalty being challenged when that’s so key to all his decisions pre/during/post-TARDIS), at least until he’s sort of disillusioned by the Glorious Revolution. That they both literally cannot communicate in their first language with the four people they spend a majority of their time with certainly helps the case that not only has language always been an awkward barrier for them but now more than ever for each other.
Two & Jamie being so tactile they come full circle and just ,,, don’t/can’t communicate verbally is so interesting. (I wrote this ramble when I was trying to write a fic LMAO and the touching comes so naturally but getting any dialogue out of them (that isn’t an argument) is. like chewing tinfoil. And maybe that’s a skill issue on my part but still.)
Squinting through aroace touch-starved goggles (what is fandom if not projecting) it’s neat how this ease with physical affection but awkwardness with verbal defines them as a companion/Doctor duo while also setting them apart from the rest? I don’t think the Doctor will ever be tactful in verbal communication and this lack obv intentionally peaks with 13(thirteenjamie rant coming later jshdjsks) but it doesn’t feel like isolation between Two & Jamie the way it does when they interact with others at times because touch is easier for them. I feel like it’s always addressed as “they don’t need to communicate verbally because they are so comfortable in each other’s skins” but then you see how they read each other so well yet struggle to express it verbally—like they just can’t express it verbally so it has to come out through touch.
Not that it has to be a failure or anything — they have their moments in conversation, too—
(The Dark Path^) but that it’s typically painful and awkward for them. So it hits you in the face since intense discussions always seem to be miscommunications and this hurt of not being able to touch (as most of their arguments appear…aghhhhh) The best examples I can pull are from “That Which Went Away” (I have another ramble coming about this short trip bc it changed my brain chemistry,, AITHAJTNWJA okay,,,) where Two senses Jamie’s comfort around the thanes and thinks he’s going to leave them, but when this conversation gets dragged into the air it just reads like any fic discussions between them do - it hurts.
Aughhh idk I think that’s why no matter how much I enjoy reading fics (this like..extends to eu/bigfinish especially short trips bc those 2k word gems are synonymous with ao3 posting regardless of blurry DW canon non-canon) all these sort of healthy discussions (I buy into this too like I cannot write twojamie to save my life but it’s a process lmfao) will always feel the tiniest inch away from The Characterization Ever because. Without dialogue it would be pretty hard to write LOL and so when that’s used to convey what otherwise is just sooooo done through touch it is awkward. And - in published media or not - when it has to come out through words it’s painful.
While we obviously represent telepathic communication with words it’s nice to see it as way more abstract because we don’t think in clear sentences all the time (we don’t. right. like this isn’t my pea brain being a pea brain) so allowing for a deeper connection that also involves touch is the Thing Ever for them. Pulling from published media so I don’t sound crazy again, all stories that hammer in how close & understanding they are of one another use this, the ease of stepping into one another, even if they don’t always involve touch — “The Jigsaw War” for example. (Which would have been cool for like a s6b line where Jamie’s given forged memories of Zoe instead of Victoria, or if Zoe just actively participated in it anyway, like the questioning about the Doctor working for others…but Alr yapped abt that here lmao) so.
What communication allows for this clear ‘discussion’ without actual words while in pristine touch hdhsjslal I wonder. I wonder. This piece of the Doctor’s biology & culture being shared with Jamie is another level entirely of the trust between them of course but that it combined their method of communication with something personal & so so much more functional is why it’s so AHHH. Especially since trust is faith without knowing & the Doctor so often conceals their past, the exposure in s6b is extreme. Honesty (lack thereof) is usually what inhibits them, and once Two loses all control over hiding parts of themself in s6b another aspect like Time Lord telepathy follows readily. (Given that 2 audios concerning this are set in s6b, and another one is very very suited to s6b)
I won’t spoil “The Green Man” 2DA but it does center on touch telepathy and even without the approved telepathy the touch remains in the following audio “the shroud” as much as it can in the beginning.
So time lord telepathy not only resolves this barrier they could feel w/ others & thus each other but also includes their preferred communication & a piece of the Doctor which not many others might be privy to hdhfjsk. It’s a level of proximity that touch & words can’t provide and im. hhhhh. So. Twojamie touch telepathy!!! It was made for them!! And that’s why we eat it up every time. Or we’re just simple creatures.
Okay. That was absolutely pointless.
Just noting — I took a lot of these examples/ideas to the extreme to make a point & they’re definitely more subtle but I cannot. Pick those up well. Without exaggerating. So I don’t think they faced complete isolation or completely different verbal communication etc nothing will be black and white (lol) but I kinda did that here to make my brain jumble seem a bit clearer.
If I think of more examples/ideas to add I’ll just rb with them but lmk your thoughts
*
Stuff referenced, in case you were interested -
The Roundheads by Mark Gatiss | The Dark Path by David A McIntee | The Jigsaw War/The Edge - companion chronicles | The Green Man/The Shroud - part of the “James Robert McCrimmon” Second Doctor Adventures (I have beef w p1 but the rest r a fun listen) | Something At The Door - Tales of Terror short story | That Which Went Away - short trip from “seven deadly sins” it’s probably my favorite Jamie/Zoe/Two short story I think about it four times an hour | The Slave War - “the quality of leadership” short trip | 1967 Chronicle - modern v of the DW annuals with some quotes from Anneke Wills
#Doctor who#second doctor#jamie mccrimmon#twojamie#I yap a lot#I love pointing out the obvious haha#rambles#time lord touch telepathy#tv girl made ‘For You’ about them btw#—‘still not close enough’#YEAH#THATS THEM#hthsjthsjtnw#I’m sorry this was not coherent at all#😔#second doctor era#not tagging all that media#SORRY FOR ALL THE TYPOS IM SORRY
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You, Me, and Who You Used to Be | CS Fic (CSSS 2024 Gift for BelovedCreation)
Merry Christmas!!
I'm your Santa this year!! :) 🎄🎄
Using your prompts of pining, Enchanted Forest, and angst with a happy ending, I give you:
Summary: (CS movie divergence) After getting her parents back on track, Emma’s magic returns. But before she can conjure a portal home, Killian is abducted. Alone in a world she knows nothing about and with no idea how to find Killian, Emma enlists the only person—or rather, pirate—who would be as motivated to save Killian as she is. However… Killian’s past may just be what destroys the future. CS
AO3
Words (so far): 5k+
NOTE: This is currently only the first chapter of this fic - long story short, the fic I spent weeks on just was not coming together, so I last minute changed to this one. It was an idea I had written the beginning of years ago that I remembered when I was trying to find something to align with the prompts you gave me :D so I knew it would be perfect to write for your gift!! I spent the past week working super hard on this trying to get it finished for you in time, but it was getting so rushed and you do not deserve a rushed gift!! So I decided to give you the first 5k words now, and I'll be updating it with the rest over the coming weeks! :)
Chapter One (under the cut!)
A/N: Story context: This is a canon divergence of the CS movie, which begins right after Emma gets the wand from Rumplestiltskin. (He does not send him to his vault of do-not-touch things in this version tho. We’ll pretend Elsa gets to Storybrooke some other way lol. I’ll also be ignoring Marian, which, the show pretty much did when it just ended up being Zelena anyway lol.
Emma smiled at the faintly glowing wand in her fingers, feeling the warmth of the return of her magic, lighting a glow in the vast dining room of Rumplestiltskin’s castle.
Everything was back on track.
Including herself.
Perhaps she had been trying to take the easy way out, blocking her magic from returning so she could go back to New York with no ties left behind.
But more than anything, it was Killian’s smile now that made the warmth inside her grow even more, and if it wasn’t her imagination, made the wand spark a little brighter.
“It works,” whispered Emma, staring at the wand in awe, eyes snapping to Killian. “My magic is back!”
“I knew you could do it, love.” said Killian softly, a relief in his eyes, like it was for both the possibility of getting back home, and for the fact that he still blamed himself for her powers being taken in the first place.
“Ah, the Savior, of course,” murmured Rumplestiltskin from his perch on the edge of his dining table. “I should have known you would have magic of your own.”
Emma suddenly realized just how much Rumplestiltskin knew. “Is it a problem that you know…?”
“It would be,” he agreed, but lifted his hand, where a potion bottle materialized. “However, I have spent the past few hours mixing myself a Forgetting Potion.”
Emma smiled. “Good. Well, let’s do this, then.” She then lifted the wand, about to attempt to bring forth the time portal.
“Wait, wait, wait,” said Rumplestiltskin, jumping down and pushing her hand with the wand down. “Not in here. You might bring any number of my possessions with you.”
Emma winced, eyes finding the myriad of scary-looking things in the castle, wondering just how catastrophic that could be.
She looked from Killian’s raised eyebrow to Rumplestiltskin. “So where do we—“
But not a second later, Rumplestiltskin’s castle was gone, and suddenly they were outside. Trees, greenery and blue sky replaced the walls of the Dark One’s abode. They weren’t too far from the town below, and not far off was the sea. But they were in an empty enough area of the forest that no one should see anything, and nothing should come with them.
“Well,” said Killian, giving her another smile, “ready, there, Swan?”
Emma nodded. She lifted the wand again, concentrating on her magic, on the emotion in her chest, bright and raw. The tiny flicker of a portal, like a zipper drawn in the very fabric of the air, appeared before them.
Killian grinned. “That’s it, lo—”
He was cut off with a grunt, and Emma’s eyes snapped to him, her concentration broken and the tiny beginnings of the portal fizzled back out of existence.
Emma’s heart stopped.
They were no longer alone.
A burly, muscled man had his arm around Killian’s neck in a chokehold, his other arm pinning Killian’s left arm to his side. Killian let out an angry, surprised snarl, jerking hard against the grip.
“Hook!” cried Emma, jamming the wand in her back pocket to hide it and running toward him, only skidding to a stop when three other thugs suddenly flanked the first.
“Sw—“ began Killian, his right hand scrabbling at the hold around his neck, but his airway was quickly cut off. Red rushed to his face, and Emma’s heart froze.
“Sorry, darlin’,” said the man’s raspy voice. “We got direct orders to bring Captain Hook in. He stole from us last night, and now he gon’ pay. Pretty stupid to show yer face in the open like this, without yer crew, no less.” A dark chuckle. “Shoulda sailed away when he had the chance.” To someone behind him, he shouted, “Lucky catch, men!”
Killian struggled against them, something angry and feral, landing a blow to the man's gut. The man growled and stumbled, and Killian reared back to hit him again until the man snapped, “Stop fightin’ or the wench dies!” That made Killian freeze, staring at her with icy horror.
For a moment, Emma and Killian stared at each other, and it felt like time stood still.
Panic rushed through Emma's chest.
Magic.
Magic.
But she had no idea how to use her magic.
And if she took even a step forward, she'd get a sword through her in seconds.
Killian grunted as a second thug grabbed him on his other side, ripping Killian's sword from his sheath.
Panic rose even sharper in Emma's chest.
Killian swallowed, eyes locked onto her. “Go—home,” Killian managed, his eyes pleading and broken, with something in them that looked like goodbye, only making Emma’s eyes burn.
“Hook—!” breathed Emma, running for him, but froze when three swords pointed in her direction, so close to her it made her stumble back, falling to the ground.
And by the time she made it back to her feet, they were gone.
-.-.-.
Dark had fallen.
The air had chilled.
But none of it gave her the cold dread inside her chest.
She’d searched for hours.
But those men obviously knew this forest better than she did, and it was easy to get lost in it.
Too easy.
She let them take him.
Emma kicked herself.
She should have done something.
She should have done something.
She should have been spending all the time back in Storybrooke learning magic instead of shoving it away.
Because now Killian was gone, and it was all her fault.
She got them stuck in the past.
She was the reason Killian stopped trying to free himself from those bastards.
She was the reason that they may never see each other again.
Emma couldn’t stop seeing his eyes.
The resignation.
The defeat.
The horrible, utter sadness.
She was now alone, and she’d never felt this alone in her entire life.
It was one thing to grow up being alone.
And it was another thing entirely to find people, to fall for people, and to have them ripped from you.
It was an entirely different thing to know what it felt like to not be alone.
And ever since meeting Killian, more or less after he decided to become a part of something , he’d been practically glued to her side. He’d voluntarily gone back to the land he hated more than anywhere, he’d given up his revenge, he’d found her in freaking New York City —an endeavor Emma still didn’t know how he managed to do—and how he managed to find her in a world he knew hardly anything about?
Emma stopped on the path, feeling the chill of the air.
Even the air felt different in the Enchanted Forest. It felt… unearthly, which, wasn’t exactly off point. The magic in the land seemed to crackle like a charged atmosphere. The animal sounds, the nightly coos and caws were different, and all this different was unsettling and…
She really, really didn’t want to admit she was scared.
But Emma didn’t have Mary Margaret with her this time. She didn’t have a princess squad to help her through. And, she didn’t have Hook.
Killian, who was god knew where.
He might even already be—
No , said a firm voice in her head, trying to quell the hair that raised on the back of her neck at the thought. They wouldn’t have kidnapped him if they were going to be quick about it.
The idea of him suffering at all…
Emma swallowed, hard, trying to shove down the rush of panic that shook her fingers.
How the hell was she supposed to find him?
She was a complete outsider.
She not only wasn’t from this town, she wasn’t from this world , and she wasn’t from this time, not by a long shot.
She was trapped thirty years in the past, and Killian could be anywhere.
“Go home.”
Emma shut her eyes at Killian’s echo.
Go home.
He wanted her to go home.
He wanted her to leave him here, conjure the portal, and go home.
The very fact that he thought she would made her chest hurt, because how could he think she’d leave him here?
But…
“You really thought I’d let you drown?”
“Given our history, can you blame me for being uncertain? ”
Here she was thinking how he could possibly think she didn’t care about him, when…
“Do you even care about them? Or anyone in this town?”
He said anyone.
He meant me.
And replaying it all, how could she think he’d know she did?
All she’s done since he saved her in New York, was walk away from him.
But she did care.
She more than cared.
And now, she may never —
No.
Emma opened her eyes, ignoring the burn in them.
Determination set into her face, Emma made up her mind without hesitation.
There was no way she was leaving here without Killian.
The thought of returning to life without him, living without him…
It felt wrong.
Something about him in her life just made sense. Even now, she felt like something was missing, and suddenly she was wondering how she ever considered leaving her family, leaving him, to go back to New York.
“Go home.”
She couldn’t go home when he already became her home.
But…
How on earth—or, how in the Enchanted Forest—was she supposed to find him?
And before they did something terrible and irreversible to him?
“He stole from us last night. Now he’s gon' pay.”
Emma blinked.
Killian didn’t steal anything from anyone; she knew he hadn’t. He’d been too concerned with messing up the time continuum.
He hadn’t stolen.
But Emma had a pretty good feeling who had.
And Killian was currently paying for his crime.
Emma smiled grimly, a plan unfolding in her head.
She started walking, faster this time.
She just hoped the Jolly Roger was still in port.
-.-.-.
Emma clung to the shadows when she entered the town.
Thanks to Rumplestiltskin returning her clothes, she was no longer wearing the ragged dress and cloak that they had stolen, and was back in her jeans and leather jacket. Something that, Killian’s voice reminded her, hasn’t come into vogue, ever. So… she had to be careful. They just fixed the timeline; they cannot ruin it all over again.
But Killian was worth that risk.
As she clung to the dark areas of town, Emma was reminded of a younger her, living on the streets, dodging shadowy corners to pitch black alleyways. It was evening, the sky blackening with an array of stars, but the town still bustled with life, mostly around the taverns.
Emma passed the tavern she and Killian had found his past-self in, and Emma risked a look inside, but he wasn’t there.
Her heart quickening, Emma suddenly worried he wasn’t even in town.
She picked up her pace, following the path past-Hook had led her down when he’d been her inebriated guide.
Emma emerged from the cover of an alley, looking up to see the sea, and ships of all sizes moored at the docks. And among them—
Emma felt relief flood her.
The Jolly Roger.
She smiled despite herself, picking up her pace. As she got closer, she could see the crew retracting the anchor—
They were leaving.
Her heart pounding, Emma began to sprint.
With grunts of heaving, two members of the Jolly’s crew were lifting the gangplank.
It was halfway up when Emma got to it, flinging herself off the dock and onto it, barely making the jump. She slid down the wood, landing in a heap on the deck.
“What in the blazes—?!”
The two men nearly dropped the gangplank, but managed to finish shutting it, faster, as if worrying that someone else was going to attempt Emma’s jump.
Her entire body throbbing from the mistreatment, Emma slowly picked herself up from the deck. She quickly noticed at least a dozen pirates were staring at her in shock.
But a voice broke through the din, and Emma would recognize it anywhere.
“Well, you don’t bloody see something like that every day.”
-.-.-.
Despite her protests, Emma had been manhandled by two of the crew members and dragged into the Captain’s Quarters a moment after she’d seen him. He’d witnessed her reckless jump onto his ship, but hadn’t said a word to her yet.
She was currently in the chair opposite his desk, two burly hands on her shoulders keeping her pinned down, and Hook was in his chair behind the desk, staring at her in silence.
“What are you doing aboard my ship?” he said finally.
Emma flicked her eyes to the pirate holding her down, then back to Hook. “I’ll tell you, but only you.”
Hook sighed, then flicked his eyes to the man behind her, giving a minute nod and a slight roll of his eyes. Then, when the door clicked shut, he gave her a pointed look.
Emma let out a breath, her heart beating in a frenzy. This Hook was not half as drunk as he was when they last met. His gaze on her was cold and measured and there was no trace of the softness Killian had now. It unnerved her, this air of danger he held, sitting before her. Waiting.
But Emma swallowed, trying to remember, this is still Killian. Just… buried under two hundred years of pain and resentment.
It didn’t make her feel better.
“I need your help.” said Emma at last, holding his gaze.
His brow lifted, like that was the last thing he’d expected her to say. “My help?” he echoed, lips twisting a little in amusement. “I’m a pirate captain, lass. You’ve mistaken me for someone who gives. Pirates take.”
Emma resisted the urge to roll her eyes at the irony that all he’s done the past two years was give.
Worry fluttered in her stomach, suddenly wondering if her Killian was all right.
And when did he start being ‘her’ Killian?
Emma let out another breath. “Yeah, that’s actually what brings me here. All I need to know,” said Emma slowly, “is who you stole from last night.”
She’d thought it through; if she could just get the name or the place of the person who he’d stolen from, she could go find Killian without Hook ever needing to know she was from the future.
Hook paused.
Suspicion suddenly gleamed in his eyes.
He stood, and rounded his desk until he was standing before her.
The suspicion only deepened in his eyes.
Emma could feel the danger radiate off him like a cologne.
She was trying not to shrink under his intense gaze when he leaned even closer, his face inches from hers. He searched her eyes.
“You,” he whispered. “I remember you.”
Emma’s heart skipped. “You do?” she breathed.
She should have known it was irrational to think he meant he remembered knowing her.
Because his eyes narrowed, coldness in the blue. “You owe me a nightcap, love.”
Emma froze. “Oh,” she said, biting her lip. “Didn’t blame the rum, huh?”
He leaned back slightly, but looked no less predatory. “I’m guessing this is from you as well,” he said, brushing the metal of his hook to his cheek where Killian had hit him.
Emma winced. “Not exactly—“
He was suddenly in her face again, eyes narrowed, colder than ice. “You were trying to get me drunk. To get on my ship,” he muttered. “Why?”
Oops.
Emma tried to think fast.
She did not like a version of Killian that scared her, and this one did exactly that.
As if to prove the point, he raised his hook, tracing her jaw until the tip was underneath her chin, forcing her head up. Emma gasped reflexively, suddenly realizing how bad of an idea this had been. “Tell me,” he hissed, “or this will be rather unpleasant.”
Emma swallowed, trying to stem the rush of fear. To hell with the timeline. “I’m from the future.”
His brow rose sharply, surprise and a little confusion slipping into that cold expression. Clearly time travel was not one of the things he’d expected her to say.
It was the second time she’d surprised him, and Emma knew he wasn’t an easily surprised man.
Before he could interrupt, she went on, wincing as the sharp tip of his hook stung. “I’m telling you the truth,” she said quickly, fear sending a shiver down her spine. “I’m from… about thirty years in the future. I think. It’s really hard to keep track with all the curses," she finished, which even to her ears sounded like she was crazy.
“Time travel is unheard of.” said Hook, dismissing her whole story.
"You spend two hundred years on an island where time doesn't even exist and this is too crazy for you to imagine?" snapped Emma exasperatedly.
He ignored her. “Now, what are you really doing on my ship? Clearly if you’d gotten what you wanted, you wouldn’t have been daft enough to return.” His eyes looked her up and down, his brow lifting when his eyes reached hers, and Emma glared at him. “And if I had gotten what I wanted, that night would not have ended with you injuring me.” A cold smile. “Well, not in the traditional way, anyway.”
Emma huffed out a breath, almost forgetting just how innuendo-clad he once was. “Look, I’m telling the truth . I need your help to—“ She gasped, the tip of his hook digging slightly deeper.
“You will tell me what I want to know,” said Hook quietly. He removed his namesake, and Emma winced. “I’ll give you the night to think it over. Lie to me again," his voice lowering, dipping into the personification of danger as his gaze bored into hers, and she tried not to shrink under it, "you’ll be walking the plank in the morning.” He moved away from her, and Emma realized she'd forgotten how to breathe.
“Hook—“ began Emma, but Hook simply barked, “Jenkins!”
The door opened, and one of the men who had dragged her down here walked inside.
“Take her to the brig.”
Emma’s heart pounded. “No— Hook,” she said quickly as he sat nonchalantly back at his desk. “I need—“
Emma was grabbed from behind and forced out.
He didn’t look up as they took her.
But when he thought she was out of sight, she saw him briefly touch his fingers to his lips, something unreadable stirring in his eyes.
-.-.-.-.
Emma waited until she was left alone, and the ship had quieted down enough to suggest the crew was asleep.
They’d bound her hands in front of her, which was their first mistake.
Feeling a sense of deja vu, Emma felt along the ground until she found something useful. Finding something sharp and thin enough to work, she quickly got to work on the lock to the cage.
The trouble was opening the door without it creaking, which took her plenty of precious minutes.
Once free, she left the brig, and quietly made her way to the armory.
It was good that she was familiar with the ship after Neverland. Plenty of hours on the water had her nervous energy getting the better of herself and she’d done some extensive exploring. She’d paced the ship enough to know where its creaky boards were, so she was inside the armory in silence quickly.
Emma grabbed the first blade she could find—a knife—and freed her hands, then took the gag from her mouth.
Gripping the knife in her shaking hands, Emma left the armory, walking down the hallway to the door at the very end.
The Captain’s Quarters.
Feeling plenty of uncertainty, but needing to know where Killian was, Emma slowly reached for the door handle, glad the ridiculously loud chorus of snoring from the crew covered much of the noise she made.
Slowly and without breathing, she opened his door.
Emma shut it just as quietly, and the noise of the snoring was muted.
Emma turned.
The cabin was dark.
And there, lying on his bed, was Hook. Asleep.
She could see him breathe beneath the blanket.
Carefully, and avoiding every creak in the floor she knew of, Emma crept up to his bed.
Then, she held the knife an inch from his throat, opening her mouth to wake him.
“Do I need to explain what a nightcap is to you?”
Emma jumped a mile in her skin.
Hook’s eyes were open, and he looked from the knife at his throat to Emma. A raised brow, he deadpanned, “You escaped.”
“You underestimated me.” she countered. He lifted his brow as Emma continued firmly, “I need you to help me.”
“Help me?” he echoed. His eyes flicked from the knife to her eyes. “You’re taking your life in your hands threatening me, lass.” he said dangerously.
“I’m trying to save your life!” snapped Emma.
His brow hitched higher, again flicking his eyes pointedly to the blade, then back at her.
Emma sighed, removing the knife from his throat.
He still didn’t move, eyeing her still suspiciously. “How is it you think you’re saving me?” he asked.
Emma sighed shortly. “Look. I told you I was from the future. I am. I’m from your future. And I didn’t get sent to the past alone.” She took a breath, hoping telling him wouldn’t implode the timeline. But she was scared, she was alone, and without his information, she would never be able to find Killian. She could only hope that after she saved Killian, he’d still exist when they returned to their time.
Emma sighed. “When I got sent here, you came with me.” she said finally.
Confusion kneaded his brows with honest puzzlement, and for the first time he looked almost like her Killian. “I… what?” he managed.
Emma sighed shortly. “You— future you,” clarified Emma. “You’re here, in the past, too.”
Hook looked lost in thought for a second. Then— “That was bloody real?”
“What was?” asked Emma.
He sat up, regarding her with both suspicion and shock. “The dream I thought I had of you, up until you foolishly returned.” Emma glared at him flatly as he went on, “I saw…”
“Yourself,” finished Emma impatiently. “Yeah. You punched yourself.” At his very perplexed expression, she went on, “I told him—you—it was a bad idea. So, blame yourself.” He blinked in utter confusion. But, at least, he seemed to believe her story. “Look,” said Emma, “we were on our way back to the future when some huge guys kidnapped him because they said he stole something and he needed to ‘pay for it’.” she finished in a bad facsimile of Killian’s abductor’s voice. Her eyes burning into Hook’s, she said, “What did you steal? Who are they and where did they take him?”
“You’re telling me,” said Hook slowly, “that there is a future version of me out here?”
“Yes,” said Emma through gritted teeth. “Now what did you—“
“Tell me, love,” said Hook casually enough, though the coldness in his words was back. “What is my future?”
“I can’t tell you that,” she said exasperatedly. “Already I need to get you a Forgetting Potion to make sure you get to that future.”
He stared at her for a long moment, a million things happening behind guarded eyes. But finally, his brow lifted a fraction. “And I’m just supposed to believe this?"
Emma groaned. “What proof do you want?” she said impatiently. “Your father abandoned you and Liam; you used to be in the Royal Navy; you became a pirate after what happened to Liam in Neverland; you’re currently on a suicidal mission to kill Rumplestiltskin for taking your hand and Mila—“
“Stop!”
Emma froze, having been angrily ticking off the trivia on her fingers, to see Hook’s eyes with more emotion than she’s seen from this version of him yet.
“How do you know all that?” he breathed. For once, his voice lost Hook’s edge, and he sounded like Killian. The danger evaporated from him in seconds, replaced with something almost... lost. “It’s—it's been centuries since—"
“You told me.” said Emma simply.
“I… told you,” repeated Hook flatly, words rolling off his tongue like something foreign. The edge in his voice swiftly returned as he demanded angrily, “And why the bloody hell would I do that?”
“How should I know?” snapped Emma, her anxiety getting to her and sharpening her own tone.
He rose to his feet, and Emma did not like the feeling that he was attempting to use his height over hers to intimidate her. He leveled a look at her, with something different in his eyes, something dangerous in a new way. “Tell me one thing, lass," he began, voice casual-sounding, but underlined with something that sent a shiver down her spine, "and maybe I help you.”
“Why wouldn’t you help me?” exclaimed Emma, standing her ground. “You’d be helping you!”
“That remains to be seen.” He stepped toward her, and damn it he didn’t even need the hook to be imposing. “Tell me, lass.” Another step, and Emma felt her back hit the wall, not even realizing she’d been retreating. His gaze bored into hers. “Do I get my revenge?”
Emma swallowed, suddenly feeling a familiar sense of dread as to when the past version of Rumplestiltskin had asked about whether or not he found Neal.
When the silence spread a little too long, she whispered, “Hook—”
“Do I, or not?” he demanded, voice clipped. Cold.
Dangerous.
Emma felt paralyzed.
The Hook—the Killian —standing before her was completely hellbent on getting his revenge. He’s been at it for centuries, and the anger and pain in his eyes overpowered the blue in them, so much so it was hard to remember that Killian and Hook were the same person.
And here, Hook was his vengeance right now.
There was hardly a spark of him.
If she told him the truth, that he not only doesn’t kill his crocodile, but chooses to live peacefully in the same town as the monster? Gives up not only his quest for vengeance, but turns into a hero?
And worse yet, that he lets go of Milah?
For her?
From the amount of anger she’s eliciting from him right now, she doubted he’d be happy to know that information in particular.
So, she decided to tell him the truth.
Or…
Part of it.
“No,” she said finally, watching his brow shift dangerously. “Not yet.”
He searched her eyes, his face like stone. “Not yet?” he repeated, voice low, almost threatening.
Emma swallowed the fear slipping down her spine, hoping she was still as good of a liar as she once was. “Not yet,” she confirmed, which, still, wasn’t a complete lie. She took a breath, holding his gaze, preparing herself.
And she lied.
“I’m helping you get your revenge in the future,” she said smoothly. “The Dark One is currently living in a realm without magic. He’s vulnerable. I’m helping you get there.” She swallowed, her entire body rigid. Hook was pin-silent as Emma finished, “We accidentally got sent to the past on our way there. That’s why I need you to help me. If you don’t, you will never get your revenge.”
Emma fell quiet, holding her head high, clinging onto confidence she didn’t feel in the slightest.
Killian could read her like an open book.
If this version of him was as perceptive as he comes to be…
If he found her lying to him…
Again …
Emma tried to ignore the fear prickling in her veins.
He held her gaze, pinning her to the spot with his eyes alone. Watching her eyes carefully, his narrowed.
Finally, he said, “Why are you helping me?”
Emma tried not to flinch at the obvious distaste in his voice. She thought fast, and found something that held nothing but truth. “Because,” she said, “you did me a favor. I’m repaying a debt.”
His brow lifted. “Quite the debt.”
Emma felt something stir in her chest, thinking of all that Killian has done for her. “It was quite the favor,” she said quietly.
His brows kneaded with question, like he wasn’t sure why he would bother to do her a favor.
Emma was quickly becoming irritated with this version of Hook.
“How are you helping me?” he asked then, gaze boring into hers, almost as if he was trying to poke holes into her story to see if it would leak. “Why do I need you?”
It was spoken so carelessly.
And it hurt.
Emma was surprised at the sudden burn behind her eyes.
She’d brushed off Killian’s affections, his obvious devotion to her, more times than she could count.
And here he was, looking at her like he couldn’t have cared about her less.
How could she have wasted all the time she had with him?
Getting him back now was the longest of long shots, for—and it made sharp fear race down her spine— he could already be dead.
Blinking away the emotion, Emma huffed out a breath, trying not to appear as hurt by his words as she was. “I’ve got Light Magic,” she snapped, making surprise lift his brow. “You’re trying to kill the Dark One. Do the math.”
He stared at her for a long moment, eyes narrowed, danger rolling off him in waves.
Finally, he spoke.
“I help you, and, him,” he muttered, uneasily over what to call his future self, “get back to your time,” he said slowly, “and then I will get what I want most?”
Emma felt the ghost of a smile touch her lips, for she didn’t have to lie for this one. “Yes.”
He most definitely will.
-.-.-.-. TBC
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