#and I am very much not one for going clubbing
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meazalykov · 1 day ago
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under her wing
giulia gwinn x spanish!reader , mentor!alexia putellas x spanish!reader
summary: your mentor is concerned about your relationship with your club teammate
warnings: three year age gap, reader is 22, a suggestive mention if you squint
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you never thought you would leave barcelona. it had been your home, your dream, the place where you trained at la masia for many years before debuting on the senior team. 
in 2023, when you won the champions league.. you ran into a bit of challenges. something that would not be fixed without a club change.
so… when the opportunity at bayern munich came, you took it. 
it was the right step for your career, but that did not make leaving any easier since alexia had been the hardest part of it. 
she was more than just a teammate…she was the older sister you never had, the one who guided you when you first arrived at barcelona.
when you told her about the transfer that summer, she had nodded, understanding yet saddened. 
“if it’s what you want,” she had said, her voice soft. 
“but i’m going to miss you.”  
you had adjusted to life at bayern faster than you expected. the girls welcomed you, the club supported you, and before long, you found yourself settling in.
you still talked to alexia, everyday even, you guys kept eachother updated about your lifes in germany and spain.
well, not too much, of course, since she was a rival now. it's just enough for her to know you were okay.  
then there was giulia.  
she had been your teammate first, someone you clicked with on the pitch almost immediately. you admired her leadership, her composure, the way she carried herself with quiet confidence. 
she was 25, a captain-like figure at bayern, the leader of her national team after popp. 
she was also the best thing to happen to you in a long time.  
you and giulia had only been official for a month. it was new, fresh, but something about it felt so different from your past relationships. healthier and safer like you were with someone who truly saw you. 
you had not told alexia yet…there had not been a right time, and honestly, you were not sure how she would take it.  
now, in march, you were on national break, back in spain, while giulia remained in germany. it was the first time since getting together that you would be apart for this long, but you both promised to keep in touch. 
and you did.  
you were always smiling at your phone. always taking pictures of your food before eating. always stepping away to take facetime calls in the bathroom.  
that last one had really set alexia off. 
she was not going to ask what you were doing in there on the phone with giulia, but she had her suspicions. 
now, the night before your match against portugal, she was going to get her answers.  
misa and aitana had just left the hotel room when she turned to you. 
“hey, y/n, don’t go to sleep yet. can we talk?”  
you blinked, confused but nodding. 
“of course.”  
she sat on the edge of the bed, watching you carefully. 
“are you dating someone?”  
your heart nearly stopped. 
“wh-wha-what? how do you know?”  
she let out a small laugh, shaking her head. 
“so i was right.”  
you sighed, rubbing your face. 
“was it that obvious?”  
“very,” alexia said. 
“you smile at your phone too much. you always take pictures of your food and the facetime calls in the bathroom? come on, y/n! you could at least wait until you got home to munich.”  
you groaned. 
“fine. yeah, i am dating someone.”  
she tilted her head. 
“who?”  
you hesitated. 
“giulia.”  
her brows lifted slightly. 
“giulia?”  
“yeah, giulia gwinn. my teammate at bayern. defender for alemania..”
you nodded, bracing yourself for her reaction.  
alexia knew giulia. she had played against her plenty of times, had seen her lead bayern with the same strength she had seen in other great captains like herself. 
however, her expression shifted into something more thoughtful, almost concerned.  
“hmm.”  
“what?” you frowned.  
she hesitated for a second before speaking. 
“it’s not a bad thing,” she said slowly. 
“i just… well… she’s older. not by much, but still… i just want to make sure you’re okay.”  
you crossed your arms. 
“do you think she’s too good for me?”  
her eyes widened, shaking her head immediately. 
“no! not at all. that’s not what i meant.”  
“then what did you mean?”  
she sighed. 
“i mean that you’re 22. you’re mature for your age, but i want to make sure you’re making smart decisions and that you’re with someone who treats you well, who understands you.”  
you relaxed slightly. 
“giulia treats me really well, ale. better than anyone ever has.”  
ale’s expression softened. 
“that’s all i needed to hear.”  
you felt the weight of her concern, the way she was looking out for you in the way she always had. 
it was not about doubting you or giulia…it was about making sure you were happy. and you were.  
before the conversation could settle, she smirked slightly. 
“so… tell me more about this relationship.”  
you groaned. 
“oh god.”  
“no, no, i want to know,” she teased. 
“how did this happen? who made the first move? if i had to guess, it was her. there is no way your shy ass made any first move!”  
you rolled your eyes, but a smile was tugging at your lips. 
“oh shut up! i’ll tell you but only because you’re going to keep asking if i don’t tell you.”  
and with that, you began to tell alexia the story of how you and giulia became girlfriends.
three months later.. the evening in valencia is warm, the sun just starting to set as you and alexia make your way toward the restaurant. 
you’re not nervous about seeing giulia…you never are. she is your club teammate and girlfriend who you see everyday back at home. however, you are a little anxious about how this dinner will go. 
alexia has been a mentor to you for years, almost like an older sister, and now she’s here to finally meet the woman you’ve fallen for.  
“you look tense,” alexia says, nudging your shoulder. 
“should i be worried?”  
“no,” you sigh. 
“i just want you to like her.”  
alexia smirks. 
“well, if she makes you happy, i’m already halfway there.”  
you step inside the restaurant, immediately spotting giulia at a table near the window. 
she stands when she sees you, her expression lighting up as you approach. 
when you reach her, she greets you with a soft kiss to your cheek before turning to alexia and extending her hand.  
“hallo, it’s nice to finally meet you properly, alexia,” giulia says, her voice warm.  
alexia shakes her hand firmly. 
“buenos dias, and same here. i’ve heard a lot about you.”  
giulia chuckles, glancing at you. 
“all good things, i hope?”  
“mostly,” alexia teases, sitting down while looking at you beside her. 
“i guess i’ll find out for myself tonight.”  
the conversation starts light and familiar.. football.
soon enough, alexia shifts gears, watching giulia closely.  
“so,” she says, swirling her water. 
“what made you fall for her?”  
you groan, burying your face in your hands. 
“ale, come on!”  
giulia laughs softly, completely unbothered. she looks at you for a moment, then back at alexia. 
“it was easy,” she says simply. 
“she’s loving and y/n is funny in a way that catches you off guard, and she’s so passionate about what she loves. she gives her whole heart to the people she cares about and i was able to learn that when she first came to munich.”  
you blink, caught off guard by the sincerity in her voice. 
alexia raises an eyebrow, clearly impressed. 
“not a bad answer.”  
“what about you?” giulia asks, tilting her head. 
“you’ve seen her grow up. how has she changed?”  
alexia hums. 
“she’s always been talented, but when she first came to barça, she had this uncertainty about her. now, she knows who she is. she’s stronger, more confident… and she looks happy.”  
giulia smiles. 
“she makes me happy too.”  
there’s a brief pause, something unspoken passing between them before alexia leans back. 
“i like you,” she says finally. 
“you’re different from the people she’s dated before.”  
giulia lifts an eyebrow with a smirk, looking at you while she asks alexia, 
“how so?”  
alexia glances at you before answering. 
“you’re stable. you know what you want. you’re not playing games and have goals.”  
giulia squeezes your hand under the table. 
“yeah i promise there are no games,” she says softly. 
“just her.”  
alexia watches the exchange, then nods in approval. 
“good. because if you ever hurt her…”  
“i won’t,” giulia cuts in firmly. 
“i’d never do that.”  
there’s another pause, then alexia smirks. 
“then i have nothing to worry about.” she glances at you. 
“you got a good one.”  
relief floods through you, and you smile. 
“i know.”  
masterlist
guys I'm sorry for being inactive, got busy with school and kind of lost motivation for a bit. I'll be back to posting more (like usual) soon!
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5iyoomi · 3 days ago
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Thangyu NSFW Alphabet
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Warnings: poly!thangyu x fem!reader, they're probably so ooc here I'm so sorry, not proofread I'm posting this at 4 am, mentions of drugs & alcohol, implied dubcon/under-negotiated kink in one part, somnophilia, just general smut stuff A/N: FINALLY POSTING AFTER 20 YEARS LMAO. If this sucks don't @ me the last time I wrote was idek how long ago now
nsfw under the cut
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
☆ If we’re being real here aftercare with them heavily depends on how they’re feeling…. But either way it’s pretty minimal, especially considering one of them practically falls asleep immediately (Thanos). Nam-gyu will make sure you’re all cleaned up and run you a bath if he feels like dealing with the mess right after. 
Thanos on the other hand takes it upon himself to cuddle up to you, long limbs entangled with yours as he presses a sloppy kiss to your cheek or forehead and murmurs sweet nothings you can’t make out half the time.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
☆ Both of them are tits men, it doesn’t matter if they’re big or small, they don’t give a shit. Even in a non-sexual manner, Thanos just likes to keep his hands under your shirt since he tends to run cold and it’s one of many excuses to be close to you. 
Nam-gyu isn’t as vocal about it but he doesn’t try to hide it. Whether it’s with an arm slung around your shoulder and his palm brushing your breasts, or full on touching you if he thinks another guy’s getting too close for comfort, you’ve gotten used to the constant feeling of hands on you.
On that note, Thanos’ favorite body part is his hands. He doesn’t necessarily get full on manicures, but he does take good care of them. He adores how big they are compared to yours and even Nam-gyu’s. The mere sight of his thick fingers wrapped around your smaller wrists never fails to make him dizzy.
If Nam-gyu had to choose, he’d say his hair. He likes when you tug at it while he eats you out because then he knows he’s doing something right. He gets greedy with it, guiding you to run your fingers through his hair just for the hell of it sometimes, or (not so) begrudgingly saying yes when you ask to braid it or put it in a ponytail.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
☆ Both of these freaks like to cum inside you and watch it spill out of you but especially Nam-gyu. There’s something about marking his territory that gets the raven-haired man off, because only he and Thanos get to fill you up to their heart's content. 
If there’s time for a quickie he’ll go about his day with a smug look on his face knowing you’re walking around dripping his and Thanos’ seed into your underwear. That if anyone were to flirt with you you’d be reminded that no one satisfies you like they do.
Thanos likes how it glistens on you after you blow him and let him cum on your face, using his thumb to further smear it on your skin until you’re whining in protest. It’s his way of staking his claim, in a way.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
☆ Thanos likes to make you come at least twice in your panties that way he has something to jerk himself off with when he knows you won’t be around for a while. He’ll inhale the scent of you with a tight fist around his cock, thinking about how cute you looked with his fingers pressing down on your puffy clit.
As much of a dominant streak as Nam-gyu has it’s almost laughably easy to flip the roles on him. Almost. You have to catch him when he has his guard down, which is usually right after you have sex or when he’s too high to realize what you’re trying to do. 
He doesn’t let it happen very often, and he won’t admit how much he likes it, but having you ride and praise/degrade him while Thanos watches is a guilty pleasure of his.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
☆ We all know both of them were up to some freaky shit in club pentagon like c’mon… And they can both be assholes but they’re hot and they know it, they 100% know how to please a girl. 
They aren’t the most experienced in serious relationships and romantic stuff, but they’ve had random hook-ups and one night stands before. You’re in good hands, literally and metaphorically.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
☆ If they’re in the mood to use you like a ragdoll, they’ll put you in doggy style with your hands tied behind your back so one of them can fuck you into the mattress while the other uses your throat. 
Otherwise their favorite is missionary. Not only can they watch every expression you pull while you’re blissed out and the way they sink into your warm heat with every thrust, but it’s easier to manhandle you like that, pushing your thighs up to your chest or pulling you into a needy kiss.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
☆ They’re more talkative and energetic when they’re high but I can’t see either of them cracking that many jokes during it in general. There might be a few here and there with both of them chuckling to each other, but they’re mostly serious.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
☆ I think it’d be absolutely hilarious if Thanos dyed his pubes purple but for the sake of discussion the carpet technically matches the drapes, it’s all natural color down there baby. He trims but still has a nice little happy trail that starts at his navel and leads down to his dick (he’s sensitive there, too. Do with that information what you will.)
Nam-gyu is more well groomed but he doesn’t care to fully shave, it’s less of a hassle that way.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
☆ They fuck you like they hate you but their actions give away how much they truly love you. Nam-gyu will tuck strands of hair behind your ear to keep it out of your face and trace comforting circles against your ankles while he has you bent over. 
A more sober, softer Thanos makes sure you’re okay when they’re being particularly rough. Either way, neither of them like being too far away from you for too long anyways, and you know they mean it when they say ‘I love you’ because they aren’t doing it just to say it.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
☆ 90% of the time they don’t see the point because they have you, so what’s the point when they have a girlfriend that’s just as willing? On the rare occasion you’re not an option and they can’t get to each other they’ll scroll through the pictures and videos they’ve got of you and make it work.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
☆ This goes back to the hand thing but Thanos likes choking. He never puts too much pressure on you, his grip loose enough that you can usually push him off if you want or need to, but the power trip makes him impossibly harder. 
The veins in his hands bulge where they’re wrapped around your neck, and the slight sting of pain from your nails leaving moon-shaped indents on his forearms? He’s a goner.
Nam-gyu has a huge thing for somnophilia. It probably happens one night when he can’t sleep; he’s too lazy to get himself off but turned on enough that he can’t get back to sleep. 
Thanos is a deep sleeper, and he’s about to try to wake you up when he sees how peaceful you look: the soft rise and fall of your chest, lashes fluttering and the strap of your shirt falling off one of your shoulders. 
You groggily wake up to him pressed up behind your back, your panties pulled to the side as he uses your slick to slide his cock between your thighs.
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
☆ Literally anywhere inside of your shared apartment but they’ll never do it in any public setting hands down. Both of them are possessive and jealous, they wouldn’t even risk someone else being able to see you at your most vulnerable. Screw the neighbors that have to listen to you scream every night.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
☆ Just you, really. You dressing up pretty in lingerie does wonders too, but they aren’t picky when it comes to you and they definitely don’t need anything special. Pray that YOU can keep up with THEIR libido, actually.
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
☆ Seriously hurting you is a no-no. They’re up to trying anything once if you or either of them wanna try something new to spice it up in the bedroom, but there’s a certain line they won’t cross. 
If they choke or slap you in any way it’s because you asked for it, and they’ll make up some sort of safe word or action like tapping them three times if you need them to stop/slow down.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
☆ Service doms? Nah, they eat you out for their pleasure. They don’t care if you’re shaking and pushing them away from you because you’ve lost count of how much you’ve come, these two get drunk on the taste of your pussy. 
They both have long fingers that curl just right to hit your sweet spot dead on, and Thanos’ are thicker, too. That paired with their rings and they’ll have you crying for them. Don’t get them wrong, they won’t argue if you get on your knees and pull on the waistband of their pants instead.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
☆ They do both! They can fuck you so hard and fast you’re seeing stars afterwards or they can take their time with you, pouring all their desperation and want into making love to you. They’ll never call it that, though, but you know they’re secretly saps.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
☆ They’re always down. There will genuinely not be a time you ask them, even if you have to be somewhere within the next 5 minutes, that they say no. They might not happen often but if a quick session can sate all of you for long enough then running a little late is more than worth it.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
☆ Back to them being disgustingly possessive they aren’t big risk takers in the sense of doing it anywhere semi-public or straight up public, but they’ll always experiment. In their mind, if they already know your body like the back of their own hands, why not play around with things that’ll enhance the experience? 
They start out simple with handcuffs, and if you’re up for it they might introduce toys too. They don’t mind stuff like anal either.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
☆ They could go all night if they wanted to, but Thanos doesn’t last very long with the amount of stimulation unless he’s purposefully trying to edge you or himself. Nam-gyu has a bit more stamina being younger than him, so if Thanos gets tired he’ll keep himself busy pleasuring you while Nam-gyu uses your cunt.
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
☆ Not many, they have handcuffs and rope that they’ll use to restrain you sometimes. They have a paddle that they’ll break out to use on you if they’re feeling mean, but not crazy often.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
☆ Nam-gyu is the fucking KING of teasing you oh my god. He’ll finger you and ignore your clit for hours, stopping when you clench around him because he knows you’re close. 
He’ll hold your hips down so you can’t grind against him while you’re sitting on his lap and making out, signaling Thanos to run his hands up and down your sides and pressing feather-light kisses to the nape of your neck but nothing more.
Thanos likes to tease you from time to time, but usually it’s more torture for him to hold back from sliding into you than it is for you to feel him slipping the tip just past your tight walls before pulling back out.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
☆ In general neither of them are exactly loud, but they’re not quiet either. They’ll grunt and pant in your ear, deep, guttural moans that send shivers up your spine.
If you’re topping Nam-gyu (or Thanos) he’s more loud, but he’ll try to bite down on his tongue or bottom lip to contain his whines and whimpers. You’ll have to force a thumb between his teeth if you wanna hear him.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
☆ They’ll occasionally smoke weed or drink before they fuck you because it’s a different kind of high from their usual drugs, and they won’t force you to do it but if you do wanna try they like to shotgun the smoke directly into your mouth and then kiss you. 
It usually starts with Nam-gyu teasing you about your apprehension, then being surprised when you climb onto his lap and ask for a hit. He’ll give Thanos that look, then pull you in by your chin and tell you to open. 
The simple but direct command has you clenching your thighs together, which doesn’t go unnoticed by either man.
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
☆ Thanos is about average but he’s thick and veiny (and he’d be uncircumcised hear me out). His dick also curves slightly to the right. That’s ALL I’m saying about him otherwise I won’t shut up. Second more in-depth post later maybe.
Nam-gyu’s isn’t as thick but he’s longer than Thanos, reaching into the deepest parts of you and stretching you out with ease.
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
☆ Let’s just say high. They’re both already always horny separately, but together you’ll be lucky to get any sleep.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
☆ Light sleeper Nam-gyu 🤝 Deep sleeper Thanos. Very much self explanatory but Thanos will be out like a light within minutes, meanwhile Nam-gyu likes to wait until you’re both asleep to really get comfortable anyway <3
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batmanisagatewaydrug · 2 days ago
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you're so right about harlivy and can i be honest? the way the riddler story made him a shy virgin who doesn't know what flirting is was so boring too? it felt weirdly infantilizing to me (not being a virgin per se, ofc, but the way it was written) and like it also tried to erase the character's edges (no care for personal boundaries, too forward, the whole canon masochist fequenter of bdsm clubs thing) just like the harlivy story in favor of doing the played out awkward virgin nerd thing? also no 'canon' bisexuality acknowledgement but that was expected
the way that the story was going I genuinely thought they were building up to Eddie having a very special episode moment where he learns about demisexuality or being aroace or something, but it wasn't even that? he just annoys two women (couldn't even pull off a rule of three???) and then goes "oh well! at least I have my true love, Gotham City!"
which is like. okay. historically the Riddler's exact motivations and personality fluctuate as much as any other character, sure, but he's generally not in the game for a love of Gotham??? like he does this because he wants attention and money and to feel like smartest specialist little boy. if he's juvenile it's generally in the way he's self-centered and overconfident and prone to tantrums when he doesn't get his way, not because he's a sixth grader who's just learning that the other kids have crushes for the first time.
and like you alluded to, yeah, there are MULTIPLE iterations of the Riddler where he has clear Issues With Women not in the "uwu Eddie can't talk to girls because he's shy and awkward" way but in the "Eddie can't talk to girls because he's a fucking creep" way. particularly in recent years, several writers have been a very deliberate choice to give him traits lifted straight from pickup artist and incel circles to emphasize the their take on the character sucks in a way that's inseparable from misogyny.
which isn't to say every Riddler is on reddit crytyping about looksmaxing, of course, but those ones are certainly indicative of a persistent trend.
a couple of people had sent me asks about this story to ask if I'd read it, known Riddler enjoyer that I am, and included a quick description. I replied to one and said, mostly as a joke, that this is blowback from DC editorial against a valentine's story by Ram V published a few years ago, in which Eddie sends Batman on a valentine's-themed chase that introduced Batman to several of Eddie's past crushes and romances—including a male friend from college, which is presented as being as straightforward and unsurprising as any of the others. the story ends how you think it does: Batman lured to a romantic rooftop dinner with the Riddler, who complains about being unable to approach an attractive woman but is still very much on a date with Batman after casually peppering in that he's bisexual. I don't this there's ACTUALLY any kind of editorial mandate to quash the notion that the Riddler has a messy romantic history and maybe fucks guys sometimes, but man. how far we've fallen in just a few years.
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back2bluesidex · 20 hours ago
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To Be Popular - JJK [Chapter 2]
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Pairing: Social Media Influencer! Jungkook X Marketing Manager! Reader ft. Yoongi
Summary:
You love everything about social media - apart from the ever-growing number of social media influencers. You don't understand how these people gain followers and admirers just by installing a camera and doing very basic things in front of it. And you despise how some of them can do anything to gain fame, to be popular - even if it includes uploading their bedroom scene in pornsites aka people like Jeon Jungkook. But when your company launches a new product and your department head tasks you with signing Jeon Jungkook up as an endorsement partner - you have no choice but to chase him like the corporate slave that you are. However, things turn worse when you embroil in a dating rumor with him and have to keep the game going for the sake of everything. is it really for the worse or things will turn in a way you never expected it to?  
Theme: Strangers to lovers au, fake dating au, kind of enemies to lover au, angst, smut, fluff.
Full Series Word Count: 26k
Chapter word count: 6.4k+
Warnings: flirting, argument, kissing that's all.
Masterlist | Patreon (For access to the complete series)
Minors, I am not responsible for what you consume online. So, act more rationally and stay away.
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Chapter index: -
Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 |
Drabbles: Imposter in the club,
Or read the full series right away on Patreon!!
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Only twice in your life did you have the need to sign contracts. 
First time was your employment contract, the second time was your house lease contract. 
The third contract turns out to be something that you didn’t even have the wildest dreams about - a dating contract. 
That too, with a person you seemingly get irked by very often. 
You have gone through the documents almost every day this past week, so much so that now you can recite the terms and conditions as fluently as your phone number. 
The contract is pretty standard if you are being honest. There is only one term that you added: “Kisses are not allowed”. And it seems like both Seokjin and Jungkook have no issues accepting your only term. 
However, your hands feel clammy all of a sudden when you are about to sign the papers. The thoughts of being under the limelight scares you. 
And being Jeon Jungkook’s girlfriend means a lot of limelight in social media. 
“You okay?” Kim Seokjin asks, perceiving your hesitation in signing the papers. 
“Yeah.. I am just.. You know… don’t know what to expect from all these.” you voice. 
Seokjin places an assuring hand on top of yours, with a little squeeze he says, “you can trust me, Y/N. I will do my best to keep your private life private. Jungkookie is not a bigshot anyway but yes I know there are risks of privacy breach, which will be my department to handle.” 
You feel an odd sense of relief injected by the man’s silver voice. 
But it seems like you spoke too soon because, “what’s up you two?” Jungkook appears from nowhere. He eyes the place where Seokjin has his hand on top of yours and narrows his eyes at you. 
“You are late.” Seokjin directs his authoritative voice towards Jungkook. Jungkook sits down on the chair beside him and starts chugging down water. His Adam's apple bobs like a sin. 
You distract yourself from the scene by signing the papers finally. 
“Now it’s your turn.” Seokjin extends the paper towards Jungkook, who without a second thought takes it and signs it. 
For a moment you wonder how he manages to stay disconnected from every worry? 
You are as much of a stranger as he is to you. But still, he didn’t hesitate to sign like you did. Maybe this is another reason why you dislike Jeon Jungkook? Because he gets to be care-free while you have to care for every single move you make. 
See for an instance - once you dared to pull an act of bravery and it landed you on a dating deal with Jeon Jungkook. 
How fucking funny!
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Your fingers tap on your laptop keyboard as you open the email sent by Jungkook’s agency. It’s a full fledged schedule for your and Jungkook’s first month of appearance. 
And that starts tomorrow. 
As for tomorrow, you will have to visit a cozy cafe with your supposedly boyfriend and get caught by paparazzi. Once you become talk of the media then the company will go ahead and publish an official statement. 
Things will continue like this for five months. During the sixth month your appearances will slow down and at the beginning of the seventh month, the agency will confirm the break up. 
Sounds pretty clean. 
During these seven months Jungkook will be done with the endorsement deal with your company as well. Hence, there is no need of working with him afterwards, which is a pleasant news to be honest. 
So now that you are already in the mess, you should as well taste the water and see what it brings for you. 
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“You sure will be okay with it? Do you want me to tag along and keep an eye?” Jimin’s concerned voice rings in your ear. 
You are so thankful that the universe gifted him to you in the form of a best friend. From high school till now, there was hardly a day when Jimin didn’t text you, asked what you were up to, let you know what he was doing. 
He is that one friend who never got away. 
“I will be fine. Don’t worry. Go and enjoy your time, do something fun.” you add. No matter how tempting his offer is, you don’t want him to ruin his Sunday to look after you while you are on a playdate. 
“But Y/N-” 
“Jimin, I will be fine! I will keep updating you, okay?” 
He sighs on the other side making you chuckle. “Okay. but do keep me updated.” 
“Yes. appa. Yes.” 
You check yourself once upon cutting the call.
Yeah, you look presentable. Hopefully paparazzies won’t have any issues with your sober dressing sense. 
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Once again your head bobs in the direction from where Jungkook’s car should be emerging. But you find none. 
He is late. 
Great. Another reason to hate Jeon Jungkook. 
Just when you are about to pluck your phone out and throw a text towards him, you hear the rumbling sound of an engine. 
More specifically the sound of Jungkook’s bike. 
He comes to stop where you are standing under a bus stop shade and extends a helmet towards you. 
You are way too busy grasping that you miss the object being offered to you. 
“Do I have to ride this with you?” you point at his bike. 
“It’s called a bike. And yes, you are going to ride it with me.” Jungkook thrusts the helmet towards you again. 
“Thanks for letting me know what it is called. But are you sure I will be in functioning condition by the time we reach?” 
“Don’t worry, my dear girlfriend, I will take care of ya.” he gives you a cheesy grin. 
If something flips inside your chest, then it’s better to put off the subject and focus on the fake date ahead. 
So, you put on the helmet, hop on his bike, and place your hands on his shoulders. 
“Be careful, it's hot down there. Spread your legs a little more.” Jungkook warns. 
You know, it’s about the bike but the implications of his words sets your face on a battle of blush. 
Managing your gut and composure you reply with an affirmative sound. 
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“Did you… cut your hair?” Now that Jungkook has stripped off his helmet and is sitting relaxed before you, you can see the difference in his hairstyle from what you saw yesterday. 
“Yeah. All by myself. I even live streamed it. How do I look?” You can see Jungkook’s face lighting up as soon as you mention his new hairstyle. 
“You look like a twelve year old. Cute.” and you are genuine with your words. He looks less mischievous and certainly not like someone who would fuck on camera.
The tip of his ears turn pink when he registers your compliment. 
Clearing his throat a little he says, “what should we order?” 
“A flat white for me. And that cheese cake, strawberry one.” you say, awkwardly peeking at the menu, which is currently under Jungkook’s scrutiny.   
You hear him chuckling and when you follow that sound, you find him staring down at you. His crinkled eyes, baby-like fringe, bunny-teeth on display and that beautiful smile makes him look like a completely different person. 
He doesn’t look like the Jungkook you used to dislike. 
And that spreads something warm under your skin. You start smiling at him without noticing yourself. 
“Isn’t that Jeon Jungkook?” a second female voice comes from a little distance. 
“Oh my god. Yes. and who is he with? Isn’t he dating that bully girl? Doona or Dana?” 
“What? No. didn’t you see his viral videos from the club? That girl is his rumored girlfriend. They seemed to have a fight that night but I guess they are good now?” 
“Oh really?” 
Even though the spectators are trying to be discreet and silent with their gossip, they are anything but. 
When you look in their direction, your eyes lock with one of them. She quickly turns away and types something on her phone. 
Something reaches out for your hand that is placed on the table top. 
It’s Jungkook’s own hand. 
He wraps his big palm around yours and interlaces his fingers with yours. With a sickeningly sweet smile he says, “the act has started, we should jump into characters now.” 
You tighten your fingers around him and reply, “of course we should.” 
However, you are still unsure about where you will be after six months of this play. Will you be friends with Jeon Jungkook? Or will you end up being more?  
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“But how did you let Kim Doona come between you two if you were seeing each other?” 
By the time you and Jungkook managed to come out of the cafe that day, it was already a mess. At least ten different people were trying to get your face properly, five others were trying to get a shot of your and Jungkook's intertwined hands and others were clicking pictures not-so-secretly. 
By the time you were home, your photos were all over Jungkook’s fandom’s insta profiles. 
And when the bomb (aka the official statement from the agency) dropped, your phone flooded with questions after questions.
You didn’t answer any. 
Nonetheless, the questions reappeared, this time directly, as soon as you stepped into your workplace on Monday. 
And this question in particular - it was the mostly asked one and you were ready for it. 
Your colleague nudges you again, “come on, tell me, why did you let him fuck the other girl if you were dating him?” 
“I wasn’t dating him back then.” you reply confidently, of course you had your own share of practice. “We used to be friends. But you know… friends with feelings. So yeah.. I was kinda pissed at him.” 
She makes an O shape with her mouth. 
“Is that why you lashed out on him during the meeting? I mean I heard that you…” she doesn’t end her sentence. 
These people really work less and gossip more. You nod. 
“Who confessed though? You or him? Oh- wait! Did you confess at the club? Is that why you two were seen fighting?” she throws her rapid-fire questions at you. 
But you are pleased. It worked out the way you wanted. You didn’t have to tell the story, she completed it all by herself. 
“Yup.” you popped the ‘P’ very enthusiastically. 
“Wow! You are living a fan-fiction, girl, a proper friends to lovers au.” she squeals in her seat, “mind if I post the story on my insta? I wanna use my colleague privilege card.” 
You think for a moment. If she spreads the story herself, it will be better for you. You won’t have to recite it all again and again. So you murmur a little “go ahead” and let her click a selfie with you. 
Your computer dings with a notification from Yoongi. He is asking you to come to his cabin. 
Great. Another round of interviews. 
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“I just checked the campaign schedule. It’s efficient as always. Good job, Y/N.” Yoongi’s praise brings a smile to your lips.
You murmur a little thank you with a small smile playing on your lips. 
Every time Yoongi praises your work, your insides flip. But sometimes you wish for those praises to come as ‘you look good today’, ‘your dress looks nice’ and stuff like that. 
Even though that brings a sinking feeling temporarily, that doesn’t stay for long. 
“By the way..” it’s coming, it’s coming, “how did you and Jeon Jungkook end up together? As much as I can assume, you two met each other during the meeting for the first time.” 
This. This is not what you prepared yourself for. 
You didn’t think Yoongi would be too interested in knowing your relationship history, so you wouldn’t have to explain anything to him. But not only is he interested, he seems to be pretty observant of things as well. 
Now you can’t tell him the fake story you just told your colleague nor can you tell him that the entire thing is fake. 
So you clear your throat, “it just…. Happened.” 
“Just happened? You seemed to be pretty livid about his existence that day?” your cute manager gives you a lopsided smile. 
“But then you sent me behind him, to convince him or whatever. And things happened.” you turn your confidence up yet again. 
He quirks a brow at you, “things happened after that club incident, huh?” 
He is right. But not the way he is thinking himself to be right.
“Maybe. Maybe not.” you reply, as you collect the files with the details of the campaign and proceed to leave his cabin. 
“The photoshoot starts next week, don’t be lovey-dovey on the set.” he teases you on your way back. 
You only roll your eyes at the door. 
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Second fake date is: hanging out at a bar after work. 
But you don’t drink on weekdays. 
So that lands you on a negotiation and the date is fixed on the Friday of the same week. 
You wait for Jungkook at the entrance of your work complex, a place where people would be able to see you getting on his bike very clearly. A strategy to make things public. 
But what comes to pick you up is not a bike but a car. 
A sleek black car that makes heads turn as it comes to stop in front of you. 
For a moment, you think the driver is mistaking you for someone else. 
But then the diver’s door opens and Jungkook comes out, wearing a black buttoned down with a pair of ripped jeans. 
Your eyes are now the size of saucers. 
You once gulp as you see Jungkook smiling brightly at you. 
“Hey baby. Sorry I’m late. Let’s go.” he says sweetly. And you wonder how good of an actor he is. 
“H-hi. It's okay. Yeah, let's go.” you reply in haste, trying to school your dumbfounded expression. 
You let him lead you inside the car with a hand on the small of you back. He lets every passerby see his face, under the street lights, as if he is very proud showing you off. 
Fake. It's fake. You remind yourself. 
“You know, you are a good actor.” you voice your thoughts once Jungkook settles inside the car, 
He chuckles, “yeah? Learned from Jin hyung. He used to be an acting major. Have been seeing him acting to be polite with his shareholders for all the years.” 
The fondness in his eyes at the mention of the other male is so clear. You can’t help but smile. You have perceived the same glow on Jin’s face too. 
“You two really adore each other, don’t you?” 
“Yeah. You can say that. I would be wandering around the streets of Busan if it wasn’t for him.” you hear the underlying darkness in his voice and decide to poke no further on this matter. 
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“So, you are telling me that you made this story all by yourself? And this actually ended up making sense?” Jungkook is pointing at his phone, which has your colleague's insta post plastered on the screen. 
“I told you. I am good at my job. Moderating success stories is a part of our marketers’ job.” you shrug. Your shoulders are already a lot loose after a few drinks. 
Your head is on the cloud. 
You feel good. 
And Jungkook is being less cocky today, which is helping you relax even more. 
Jungkook hums, “Great. The act is going well so far.” 
Jungkook starts scrolling on his phone again, focusing on something very hard. After a moment of silence he says, “I won’t lie, we look good together.” 
There is a smug smile playing on his lips. 
You groan, “I thought you quit being cocky for this evening.” 
“Hey! I am not being cocky. Look at these photos.” he protests, poking his phone towards you. 
“I have seen those, Jungkook. And I don’t think I look good with you. You and I are totally two different individuals, from every single aspect. You match with someone like.. Like Kim Doona.” 
Jungkook’s eyes shut for a second, “there is no point of saying this now. I missed my shot with her because someone decided to barge in my perfectly comfortable and peaceful life.” 
“Wait. You had a thing for her?” you sit up straight on your chair. 
“I still do.” Jungkook empties his glass in a sip. 
You would have fought him and told him how you saved from a prolonged controversy, but you are feeling light-headed. You are feeling good. So you will be nice for just once. 
“Well… I am sorry then. I know how it feels to have an unrequited crush.” you sigh, recalling Yoongi’s pretty face, “sorry.” 
Jungkook seems to be caught off-guard with your changed demeanor. 
“It’s okay.” he adds, “you have a crush on that manager, don’t you?” 
The fuck? 
“How the fuck do you know this now?” your eyes go big for the second time today. 
“Come on, Y/N. Anyone with eyes can tell. The way you stiffed when he caught you and me at the parking lot.” he giggles. 
“Ok. That's enough. Let’s go home. I feel sleepy.” you stand abruptly from your chair, swaying a little (thanks to the alcohol in your bloodstream). 
Jungkook stands up too, wraps a hand around your bicep and mutters a small ‘careful’ in your ear.
“By the way… don’t you think you have to call a designated driver?” you ask on the way out of the bar. 
“Jin hyung has us covered.” he shrugs. 
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On the way back home you look at the fleeting landscapes out of the car window. For some unknown reason… you feel upset. 
You had a pretty good evening. No matter how much you hate to admit it, Jungkook is a fun company. 
You two would bicker endlessly, then would slip into serious topics like economy and politics, and then all of a sudden you would talk about your favorite drinks. 
He really doesn’t seem like that Jungkook you used to dislike. 
But there is something that’s bothering you. And you can’t put a finger at it. 
The car comes to a stop in front of your apartment. You wave a quick goodbye to Jungkook, who has been busy on his phone all the way back, and climb out of the car. 
As you take small swaying steps towards your entrance, you hear the car door shutting loudly and then in turn Jungkook’s voice, “won’t you give me a goodnight kiss, girlfriend?”  
You don’t know what possessed you. It can be the alcohol, can be your bad judgment, can be the sinking feeling in your chest and the desperate need of feeling something, anything - that makes you turn around. 
You march towards Jungkook without thinking twice, standing chest to chest with him. 
All the mischief drains from his face when you grab him by the collar of his shirt and smash your lips on his. 
It should have been over in a second or two. 
But what's worse is that Jungkook is pulling you close by your waist and deepening the kiss already. 
Hope you don’t regret this when you are sober. 
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There were twelve terms in your dating contract. 
You added one. 
And you breached that very one. 
The screen of your phone goes blank as you groan again for the nth time. Every time you open Instagram, all you see is you kissing Jungkook standing on the damn fucking road! 
You two were being followed by the paps that night, which was obviously a part of the plan, and you, being clearly too drunk to think straight, kissed Jeon Jungkook on his lips! 
And now those photos are circulating like wildfire. 
Jimin texted you, asking for a clarification. 
Seokjin texted with three teasing thumbs up. 
And Jungkook texted with probably a thousand of ‘ㅋ’s. 
All you want now is for the ground to split in half so that you can jump in there and die. That’s the best possible solution for whatever the fuck is going on in your pathetic excuse of a life. 
Your phone dings with another notification and you swear to turn it off if it’s another mention in another insta post or another threatening DM from Jungkook’s crazy fans. 
But it seems like the universe is trying to be even more cruel with you, because it’s a reminder of your schedule for the day - which is another date day with the root of your problems - Jeon Jungkook. 
And today, you will have to spend time at his home, click pretty selfies and photos together highlighting how domestic you two are and post those in social media from both ends. 
When you are about to go back groaning, you receive another notification. 
It’s a text from Seokjin, “the car will be there in an hour.” 
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“Welcome to my home, girlfriend.” Jungkook grins stupidly as he spots you at his door. You really want to grab a frying pan and bang it on his stupidly round head. 
“Don’t call me that when there’s no one to hear.” you reply grumpily walking inside Jungkook’s luxurious apartment. 
You really want to know how much these influencers make monthly to afford an apartment like this. 
“I call you that for you to hear, baby.” His cheesy remarks are just too much to take, so you just roll your eyes at him. 
“Do you want anything? Tea? Coffee? Juice? Or maybe a kiss?” there he goes. 
This is what you were dreading! The moment you were sober enough to judge your actions, you knew Jungkook will be having a field day the moment he sees you. 
And here you go. 
But but but - you aren’t alone in this. You definitely kissed him first but he, too, kissed you back. So he needs to go down with you. 
“Oh why not, you definitely liked kissing me a little too much.” you bite back. But your words don't affect Jungkook at all. The smirk that he was sporting doesn’t go anywhere. It only grows more sinister. 
“Of course I did. Are you telling me you didn’t?” 
Now this is another thing that you were dreading to admit - that you actually enjoyed kissing him. His lips felt good on yours. 
But you have been trying to convince yourself that it’s because of the alcohol swimming in your veins, even though you know it’s nothing but an excuse. 
“Shut up!” you huff, hoping that Jungkook doesn’t notice the sudden rush of red on your cheeks, “let’s take some photos so that I can leave.” 
“What?” Jungkook is now genuinely confused and you can see it on his face, “Do you really want to leave? I thought we were cooking together? I decided to live stream it.” 
“Me and live stream? Are you kidding? There was no mention as such on the schedule plan?” you are sure all the colors of your face have drained with just one mention of a live stream. 
You hate being the center of attention. 
“Yeah but I improvised just as you did last day by kissing me.” Jungkook shrugs. 
Where the fuck is the frying pan? 
“Okay. I am leaving. Bye.” you haste towards the door. 
Jungkook giggles like a baby, grabbing your wrist and stopping you mid-tracks. 
“Okay okay. I am sorry. I promise not to tease you anymore if you say yes to the live stream.” 
“You promise?” you quirk an eyebrow facing him. 
“I promise.” 
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You don’t even know if saying yes to Jungkook’s improvisation was a good idea or a bad one. 
There are reasons it’s both good and bad. 
Good because Jungkook is not teasing or unnecessarily being smug with you anymore. Bad because he is hovering way too close to your body for you to keep being sane. 
The kitchen is big enough, but half of the space is being used to put down cameras and a laptop. On top of that you two have to be crammed in a small space where both of your figures are being perfectly visible to the viewers. 
You are mostly quiet, playing your part, cooking as you are supposed to. 
But Jungkook is in his element. 
He is so natural in front of the cameras that it feels as if he was born to do so. 
Jungkook interacts with the viewers, reads their comments once in a while, smiles, laughs, and makes jokes. Under the light and darkness of the kitchen - he looks so youthful, so radiant that you feel a weird coil in your chest. 
Whenever he brushes past you, you get a whip of his perfume - an earthy, woody tone with a hint of citrus. 
His hair falls on his eyes - unmade - unlike all the other times you have seen him. 
This - whatever this is - you don’t like it. 
“Why is your girlfriend being so silent?” Jungkook reads a comment from the laptop. You pay half mind to him, occasionally smile a little. 
But within a moment, Jungkook slides behind you. 
He puts his big-ass hands on your waist, places his face on your shoulder and says, “baby, why are you being so silent?” 
If you are seeing things right then his lower lip juts out while he tries to coax an answer out of you. 
Your heart starts beating abnormally fast. 
“O-oh.. I- It’s my first time being in a live stream… so yeah.” you proceed to flip the omelet, focusing on the food and food only. 
“You guys heard that? She’s nervous. Don’t scare my girl away.” Jungkook fakes anger. 
You release the breath you were holding when he finally removes himself from you. 
You are now seriously afraid of the outcome of this fake dating contract of yours. 
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“Hate to say this but” you take in a deep deep breath “this is actually very delicious. Good job." You point your chopsticks at the carbonara that Jungkook prepared. 
“Really?” he seems to be taken aback with your compliment “Thanks. Glad that you like it.” 
“By the way, you remember you have a shoot with us tomorrow, right?” you change the topic to a more serious one. 
“I do. Will your crush slash manager be there too?” his eyes stay boring in the carbonara. You honestly don’t know why Jungkook is curious about Yoongi all of a sudden. 
“Probably. Why though?” 
“Will try not to piss him off while acting.” he shrugs. 
You scoff at that “he won’t be pissed. He doesn’t reciprocate, you know.” 
“Are you sad about that?” Jungkook’s tone is a tad bit softer now. 
“Not really. It’s not that I am in love with him or something. It’s a stupid crush, and will go away with time.” 
“Have you ever tried asking him out?” 
“Not really.” 
“Then, have you ever asked him to hook up with you?” 
You choke on your omelet. 
“What- the fuck” you cough “no! Why would I ask him something like that?” 
“Why won’t you though? Don’t you want to have sex with him? I mean you like him, it’s only natural.” Jungkook explains matter-of-factly. 
“No. it’s not natural for me. I need to be at least friends with a person to have sex. And I am not friends with Yoongi. We barely even talk out of work.” 
“Oh.” Jungkook thinks for a moment “So that guy friend of yours - what was his name again… Jimin? Is he your…” 
“Oh my god, Jungkook! No! I am not currently sleeping with anyone. I have not had sex for like eighteen months.”  It's your frustration which is speaking now. 
“What? Wait! What are you? A nun?” Jungkook’s eyes go wide at your admission. 
Embarrassment eats you away, like you were eating the carbonara a few minutes ago, “I- I mean. I am not that horny.” 
“Then… Do you want to sleep with me?” 
At first you think you misheard it. So you stare at Jungkook with big eyes. 
His expression is rather serious and you hate how it affects you. 
“What did you just say?” you finally let your voice be heard. 
“You heard me.” 
“Jungkook, please stop kidding. This is not funny.”
“I am serious.” he sighs. 
“Look. I can’t go around and sleep for fun since we have an act going on here. You, too, seem like you need to blow off some steam. And honestly, tell me where is your benefit from all these? It’s your company that’s ripping the fruit, not you.” 
Jungkook’s words register in your brain. He makes perfect sense. You have no benefits whatsoever from all these. 
“It’s just an offer, you can decline it if you want but… we can- we can have some fun like adults. No one has to know, nothing will get fucked up since we are not even close to begin with.” Jungkook reasons. 
He is right. You have nothing to lose if things go down and this won’t be the first time having casual sex with someone you know. There is absolutely no risk, no feelings on the line. 
Should you really consider the idea? 
The scenes from that grainy video start clouding your brain. 
A tiny voice in your mind says, “why not?” 
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“Then… Do you want to sleep with me?”
“It’s just an offer, you can decline it if you want but… we can- we can have some fun like adults. No one has to know, nothing will get fucked up since we are not even close to begin with.”
Jungkook’s words go round and round in your head. Things have been like that for the better part of the time following your departure from his apartment.
You don’t even know why are you thinking so much, you should have just bad-mouthed him, tell him to fuck off and go fuck himself but something has kept you from doing so. 
He was suggesting something genuinely and there was a point in his proposition. And above every logical expression - it’s true that you are touch-starved. It’s been way too long with you and your dildo only. You need a living object inside of you now. 
Also, Jeon Jungkook is just so hot and he fucks well - that much you know from that unsolicited video. So yeah… you could probably accept his proposal. 
The only thing that is keeping you from doing so is your heart. You don’t know what will you be left off with after you are done fucking with for five to six months. Getting attached to people easily is one of your biggest weaknesses. 
And getting attached to your fuck-buddies, that too to someone like Jungkook, won’t be too glorifying of a thing to do. 
A hand comes and sits on your shoulder blade, scaring you off of your own skin. 
You almost hit the intruder with your laptop. 
“Calm down, it’s just me.” Yoongi comes to your view. 
“Fuck! You scared me!” you finally calm down, put your laptop on the table as it was before. 
“Well it’s not my fault. My shoes were pretty loud against the floor you know? You were too lost in your head that you didn’t even hear me coming. What’s up?” He comes to sit down beside you - way too close to you. 
In other times you would start blushing right away but for some reasons, you don’t. 
And honestly you don’t even want to find out the reasons. 
“Nothing. Just rechecking the schedule and all.” you murmur, forcing your attention on the laptop screen. 
Yoongi hums, “Your boyfriend will come in time, right? Hope he is not one of those snobbish celebrity types.” 
Your boyfriend … The mention stirs something inside your heart. 
“He tends to get late but he is not snobbish.” you defend Jungkook and your actions shocks even you. 
“Oooohhhhh” Yoongi makes an amused noise “love really changes people, huh?” 
You don’t reply to him- everything is fake anyway. 
“There is a rumor going around that you two were acquaintances before? But you told me a completely different story. May I know what’s actually going on?” 
You sigh. You knew this was coming. And you prepared your answer. 
“Well, what I told you was right. But his agency urged me to make up those stories for, you know, reasons. So yeah that’s it. And I will trust you with this secret.” narrowing your eyes on him for the last part of the sentence, you emphasize your point. 
“Okay okay.” he heaves a laugh out of his chest. 
“But why is Min Yoongi suddenly so interested in my love story?” you are genuinely curious about his curiosity. He never pays any mind to any office gossip but now that it’s your turn he seems to be interested in every little detail. 
“Maybe I have reasons you don’t know?” he shrugs. 
When his words register in your mind your eyes widen. 
“W-what reasons Yoongi?” you finally voice seeing him getting up from the chair and heading towards the exit. 
“That’s useless now. Maybe I will tell you sometime in future, maybe I will never let you know.” his voice trails and then morphes into air as he leaves the room. 
Something sits in your chest uncomfortably. Is he hinting at something you wanted all along? Was this fake dating a mistake? Did it cost you something real? 
A migraine forms just before the shoot. 
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“Annyoenghaseyo.” Jungkook greets the entire crew sweetly as he stands at the entrance of the studio. There are two other men with you, who are holding big bags, probably full of snacks and drinks. 
“I have brought some snacks for everyone. Since the shoot is going to take long, I hope you all have something to munch on. Also, hope you forgive me each time I make a mistake.” he flashes his bunny smile as he bows and gestures to his men to distribute the snacks. 
You can hear the crew oohing ahhing for his sweetness. You only roll your eyes - only if they know how big of an asshole he is.   
“Darling.” He comes close to you and stands before you, measures your expressions before enveloping you in a hug. 
Another round of oohhs and aahhs echoes in the studio. 
You fake the hug too. 
But obviously your body had to act weird around him. Your nipples pebble as his chest comes in contact with yours. 
You silently thank the pads of your bra. 
“Do I get an answer today?” he murmurs in your ear. His hot breath grazes your earlobes, erupting goosebumps all over your body. 
You clear your throat before pulling yourself out of his embrace.  
“Let’s get into work.” 
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One credit you will give Jeon Jungkook is that he knows how to work. He is professional - nothing like what you expect from typical influencers. 
He reads the scripts attentively, takes suggestions from the PD-nim and the director, gives his input and doesn’t do re-takes after retakes. 
He makes things go smooth and easy and the shoot leads towards a culmination within the five hour mark. 
You need to update Yoongi about the shoot’s progress - so you take out your phone but just then, Yoongi walks in with another human being attached to his side. 
It’s Im Semi, Yoongi’s rumored girlfriend, also the heir of the company you work for. 
For most of the time you don’t pay any mind to her existence - that’s simply something having nothing to do with your business. 
But at times like this when she is attached to the man’s side, you supposedly have a crush on, you can’t quite ignore. 
Yoongi marches towards you, with that damned smile on his face. You force back a smile. 
Your mind reels back to Yoongi’s confusing words earlier. You must have made a mistake in analyzing. What a fool you are. 
“How’s everything going?” he questions. 
“Very well. Jungkook is doing a great job. In fact we are done with the shoot, they are only reviewing the shots now. As soon as that’s done, we can’t pack up for the day.” you keep your tone professional. 
“That’s great.” Yoongi chimes in, “You can clock out after this. Good job, Y/N.” 
“Thanks. Are you clocking out too?” you ask, eyeing Semi, who is busy staring at her phone. 
“Nah. I got a meeting.” Yoongi informs, “Gotta go back to the building. I can drop you on the nearest subway, if you want.” 
Semi’s head springs up as he regards Yoongi for a moment and then looks at you with a fake forced smile. 
You know she doesn’t like the idea. 
“It’s o-”
“Don’t worry, I will drop her.” Jungkook appears from nowhere and cuts you off. 
For the first time ever, you are actually grateful to him. 
“Ah yeah. He will drop me.” you shrug. 
“Cool. Should we go now, yoongi?” Semi speaks breaking the thin layer of tension that settled on the air. 
“Yeah. I guess. Bye. See you tomorrow.” Yoongi leaves you and Jungkook behind. 
“You okay?” Jungkook enquiries, once Yoongi is out of earshot. 
“Yeah, Fine. Are you done? Let’s go.” 
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“So… I have thought about your proposal and it.. Doesn’t sound too bad.” Your eyes are downward, because if you are honest, then you are extremely coy right now and you don’t want Jungkook to witness that. 
You mulled for the entire ride back home. You thought and thought about what to say, how to say it. 
Now that Jungkook is standing before your apartment entrance, you took a chance of making it short. 
“Fuck really?” Jungkook sounds so shocked as if he didn’t expect you to say yes, “didn’t think you would accept it for real. But I am glad that you did.” 
You finally risk a glance at him. He is smiling. Your heart flips. You hate it. 
“So ah..” your ears must be red by now “do you- do you wanna come in?” you place your invitation. 
Jungkook’s smile vanishes. His face takes up a much darker expression. You know what it is. 
“I’d love to.” His voice dips an octave lower than the usual tone. 
 Now you gotta pray that you don’t regret this decision of yours. 
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read the full series right away on Patreon!! (Start from part 8)
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manchesternh · 2 days ago
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Mosaic Art Collective is a name I'd heard before I stumbled upon a call for the "Illusions" show, a show focused on blacklight-sensitive and psychedelic art which opened February 8th 2025 in the Hanover Street artspace. I've never been to one of their events but Mosaic shares the space with "See Saw Gallery," a spot where I participated in a group show last year, so I knew what to expect when stepping off the elevator. Still, my expectations were exceeded. Shows I've seen so far in Manchester haven't reached, in my opinion, the potential we hold for an active and imaginative art scene--usually the works featured are small, grouped together without much apparent concern for their interplay, and made of materials available to middle schoolers. As grateful as I am for shows that allow for that kind of work, my hopes were that "Illusions" would exceed those limits, that something would take my breath away. Overall I was not disappointed.
Coming down the hall and stepping into the dark, blue-violet rectangular rooms, you might get caught on the first few pieces in the entryway. These are geometric, sometimes abstract, and have low blacklight reactivity, though they are visible enough. Though I am drawn to abstract work, I am a postmodernist at heart, which is why I found "What if I Made a Self Portrait in Minecraft?" very funny. It is a piece that demonstrates the sort of rote mechanical grind of pixel art, painting squares, and playing Minecraft, all at once, and a portrait to boot. Is this how we chose to see ourselves? In our component colors, our most simplified pieces?
What draws the eye, after one crosses through the hall, is Marisa Egerstrom's "Flores: interstellar mycellium." This is a (roughly) six foot tall sculpture of a sort of luminescent alien flower. The petals are tessellated glass, giving them a sort of scaly look. The stem and stamen house a series of light-up bulbs which slowly blink at different rates, some changing color. It's the kind of piece I would absolutely put in my house, a collaboration of beauty and danger and whimsy which demands that we ask: what if a house plant was going clubbing?
At this point I must admit that my usual method of noting the names and titles of artworks--that is, taking a photo with my phone--was ineffective due to the lighting state of the space. I didn't notice until afterward. This is unfortunate, because I can't name the artist of the piece which is still bouncing hardest around my mind--a sort of stop sign with a styrofoam emerging from it. The face is split in two, with a duct tape mouth and a pensive expression. It makes me think of a person in two minds, and also someone being silenced. I suspect the zine hanging on the wall to the right of the piece explains it a little more, but I was too shy to pull a little paper booklet off the wall and examine it--and the light wasn't ideal for it. Still, I found myself in the position that the best art puts me in, where I am contemplating a message and meaning rather than simply admiring imagery.
Another piece that invites deeper introspection is "Mabel," a statue of a horse painted with checkered print. It's larger than a cat and surrounded by framed 4x6 photos of itself, and various other figures, in different settings, expressing the tendency of Mabel to travel. The statue marks the room's left far corner, and begins a segment of the room dedicated mostly to images of animals and creatures. For instance, "Don't Separate The Party or We're Getting the Band Back Together" is a tiny little pen drawing of creatures--an alien, a deer, a cat, and a skull--in the woods. Their eyes all luminance with a dab of neon paint, a striking effect. The frame is wood, echoing the forest setting of the image. I was impressed with the consideration given to presentation and the vaguely referential title--is this an adventuring party, like in a game? Am I an enemy combatant, to be on the receiving end of such a stare?
Amidst the creatures and woodland artifacts is a stand out piece, Marcia Wood Mertinooke's "Dream of Creme," a temptation for fans of miniatures that depicts the Cremeland drive in signage. Neon thread is used to create the neon sign effect, and it absolutely glows in the blacklight as intended. This might be an opportune time to mention that some pieces, like this one, really utilized the lighting well, while others failed to employ it or were failed by it. Fluorescent paintings or yarn pieces glowed impressively, but other works sunk into the shadows or paled in natural light from the window. I don't think this was a failure on the gallery's part as it's a small space and only so much direct black light can go around. One effect, however, was that I overlooked a few pieces until I set my phone camera on them, and then they came alive on the bright screen where before they'd been unimpressive.
Lofi music is playing at just the right volume in the space on the night of the opening. There's a crowd a half hour after doors, at least twenty people clustering around the small room or in the smaller adjacent nooks. It's a nice turnout but doesn't impede the art-gawking, unless you're impatient or can't follow the flow of traffic. Additionally I didn't feel overwhelmed by the number of works or their density. There was enough there to keep my interest and make it feel worth coming out but not too much.
Mosaic is in their third year of doing shows on Hanover street, according to Liz, the curator of "Illusions." Their next big show is centered on the concept of motion and kinetics. Illusions is on display until February 26th at 66 Hanover #201, Manchester NH, during calling hours.
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meeraonpole · 7 hours ago
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Twitch Steams : LN4 X Y/N
Summary: Lando goes live on Twitch, but his stream takes a cute turn when you bring him food. Chat instantly falls in love with your presence, demanding you stay. After giving up his chair for you, the two of you share adorable moments, jokes, and laughter while chat spams heart emojis. By the end of the stream, it’s clear—Lando might be the streamer, but you’re the real star.
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Lando had just booted up his Twitch stream, a cheeky grin on his face as he greeted the thousands of viewers flooding into chat. His headset sat slightly askew on his messy curls, and his hoodie was oversized as always.
"Hello, hello! What's up, chat?" he said, adjusting his mic. "We’re back at it today. Gonna play some tarkov, maybe some Valorant later. Who knows?"
The chat was already going wild, messages flying past at an unreadable speed:
"Lando, why are you always late?"
"McLaren merch WHEN?"
"Why does your hair always look like you just fought a tornado?"
Lando chuckled as he scrolled through the messages. "Alright, alright, calm down. I was like—only five minutes late today, which, in my world, is early, okay?" He clicked into his racing setup and got ready for a few laps, but before he could even get started, there was a soft knock at his door.
"Uh-oh, who's that?" he mused aloud, glancing toward the door. "Hold on, chat, someone’s about to interrupt our very serious business."
A moment later, the door creaked open, and in walked you, holding a plate of food in one hand and a drink in the other. Lando’s face immediately lit up.
"Oooooh, look at that, chat! Delivery service has arrived!" he said dramatically, leaning back in his chair.
You rolled your eyes but couldn’t help smiling. "You’ve been sitting here for hours, Lando. You need to eat."
"What did I do to deserve you?" he asked, taking the plate from you. "Wait, did you make this, or did you just steal it from the kitchen?"
You scoffed, placing the drink down next to him. "Rude. I made it, obviously."
"Chat, do we trust this?" Lando asked, pretending to inspect the food suspiciously. Cue the flood of messages.
"Trust her, Lando."
"Y/N best girlfriend confirmed."
"Lando, if you don’t eat that, we riot."
You laughed as you backed toward the door. "Alright, I’m leaving you and your weird little fan club alone. Enjoy your food, superstar."
Lando pouted dramatically. "You’re not gonna stay? Chat, tell her to stay!"
Chat immediately spammed:
"STAYYY."
"Y/N COME BACK."
"Lando is 100x cuter when you're around."
You shook your head. "No, you guys have fun. I’m not stealing your spotlight."
And with that, you disappeared out of frame, leaving Lando to sigh dramatically before stuffing a forkful of food into his mouth. "Well, chat, there goes the love of my life, abandoning me in my time of need."
But the chat wasn’t letting it go.
"CALL HER BACK."
"We need Y/N content!"
Lando groaned playfully. "Alright, alright, fine! You guys are so needy. Let me—wait, I have an idea."
He reached for his phone and called you, putting it on speaker. After a few rings, you picked up.
"What now?" you asked teasingly.
"Chat is basically threatening to riot if you don’t come back," Lando said, grinning. "So, congratulations, you’re famous."
You sighed dramatically, but he could hear the smile in your voice. "Fine. But only for a little bit."
Seconds later, you reappeared in the room, and Lando immediately got up from his chair. "Here, take my seat."
You frowned. "But where are you gonna sit?"
"Don’t worry about it," he said, walking off camera. Moments later, he dragged in another chair from across the room and plopped down next to you. The chat exploded.
"HE GAVE UP HIS CHAIR FOR HER."
"THE BARE MINIMUM BUT WE LOVE HIM FOR IT."
"Boyfriend of the year, confirmed."
Lando grinned as he read the messages. "See, chat, I am a gentleman. Give me some credit!"
You chuckled, leaning back in the chair as Lando scrolled through chat. "You guys are too much."
"They love you," Lando said, nudging you playfully. "More than they love me, actually. Should I be concerned?"
"Very," you teased.
The two of you continued streaming, answering silly questions and joking around. At one point, Lando leaned his head on your shoulder dramatically. "Chat, I’m exhausted. Y/N, take over."
You laughed, adjusting the headset. "Alright, guys, what’s up? Welcome to my stream now. First order of business: roasting Lando."
Chat loved it, spamming:
"FINALLY, THE TAKEOVER."
"Roast him, Y/N. He deserves it."
Lando gasped, sitting up. "Okay, no, this was a terrible idea. I take it back."
You grinned, poking his cheek. "Too late, superstar."
The chat was going wild, and Lando couldn’t stop smiling at you. He reached over and intertwined his fingers with yours under the table, unseen by the camera but enough for you to squeeze his hand lightly.
Eventually, Lando stretched and yawned. "Alright, chat, I think we’re gonna call it a night. Y/N has stolen my stream, my chair, and my dignity, so I think it’s time to go."
You smirked. "Pretty sure you lost your dignity a long time ago."
Chat spammed "LMAO" as Lando put a hand over his heart in mock offense. "Wow. Chat, did you see that? My own girlfriend betraying me on live stream."
You grinned, leaning into him just a little. "They saw nothing."
The chat exploded again, filled with heart emojis and messages like "GET MARRIED ALREADY" and "CUTEST COUPLE ON TWITCH."
Lando glanced at the screen, then at you, a soft smile tugging at his lips. "Alright, chat, love you guys, but I think I’m gonna go spend some time with this one now."
"Finally," you said, standing up. "Took you long enough."
He rolled his eyes but reached for your hand as he ended the stream, the final words from chat being:
"PROTECT THEM AT ALL COSTS."
"Lando, you better treat her like a queen."
"This was the best stream ever."
And as Lando shut his PC down, he looked over at you, grinning. "See, told you they love you more than me."
You shrugged. "Well, can you blame them?"
With a laugh, he pulled you closer, pressing a quick kiss to your forehead. "Nope. Not even a little."
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Tbh I don't really like this one but its ok don't really have anything else to say but yea enjoy the rest of your dayyyy
oh lemme know if there are any errors
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daynascullys · 10 hours ago
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just wanted to share some nice therapy thoughts I’ve been thinking about lately.
I’ve been in therapy fairly consistently for ten years now, and have been a practicing therapist for four of them. I always resented the imbalance of feeling like I cared about my therapists more than they cared about me, especially since it was their job to care about me. as people, they didn’t care about me. logically I knew this couldn’t be true, but as someone with many issues in the area of attachment, that logic didn’t always translate to my beliefs.
but Chappell Roan performed “Pink Pony Club” at the Grammys, and the first person I wished I could reach out to was my 8-year-old client who used to request it in our sessions. I think of a 7-year-old I worked with whenever I get takeout from a certain restaurant because he is the reason I tried it in the first place. I see stuffed animals and gravitate toward the cheetahs and cats because I worked with a 4-year-old who loved them and they make me think of her. I think of one of the very first clients I ever worked with when I excitedly show people new things I bought because after a horrible depressive episode, one day she logged in and said “I’m going to do a little haul for you” before excitedly showing me the things she got after managing to get out of bed. whenever I am the red player in Connect 4, I think of the 6-year-old who was the first client I had who wanted to be yellow (and how I learned that multiple kids chose red because red is winning on the box).
it’s true that they didn’t know me the way I came to know them, but they are on my mind often and have become a part of my own story and everyday life. and it’s not my job to care about them anymore, but I do. I care so much and I am always rooting for them.
and if you ever worry about whether or not your therapist cared about you, I hope you think of this post and know that, at least most of the time, yes, we do. I can’t speak for all therapists, there are always exceptions, and this doesn’t excuse any of the bad exceptions. but the majority of the time, it’s not just you. we think about you and we care about you, we just can’t always say it the way we want to.
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xechu · 2 days ago
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a/n: A bit of a long post, but I thought I'd share some character notes I have of Sukuna from my au 'Cross My Heart'. I don't foresee myself writing anything that is related to Sukuna's past before him meeting reader, which is why I thought it would be nice to release some notes just to give him some more depth. This will have some little fun facts about Jin as well since they're twins. As you might be able to tell, I'm a bit invested in this au right now. But I am trying to work on my other fics, so you might not see anything else come out for CMH this upcoming week. x
tw: 18+ mdni, suggestive themes, mature themes, complicated family dynamics, death
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cmh!sukuna - growing up & teen years
Their mother has always been out of the picture so it was just Wasuke, Jin, and Sukuna. Wasuke never mentioned much about their mother, it always seemed to be a sore topic. All they know is she's no longer alive.
Sukuna had always been kind of troubled as a kid and well into his teens. Finance has been tight growing up, so Jin and Sukuna had to work odd jobs since they were 13 until they were of legal working age, which then they would be on an actual payroll working minimum wage jobs.
Uraume knew both Jin and Sukuna since elementary school, but they have always been a little closer with Sukuna. They didn't attend the same high school as they attended another school in a different district, but they were still in contact with Sukuna.
In high school, Jin was the nerd, and Sukuna was just an edgelord that all the girls found very mysterious and alluring. Sukuna's height skyrocketed during this time as well, so he just naturally stood out. He was popular not because he aspired or tried to be - it just happened.
Given his physique, some teachers would also try to recruit him into sport teams, but Sukuna said no, because he had to work part-time after school.
Jin and Sukuna never talked to each other much. Even though they were in the same high school. People didn't even realize they were related because of how different they looked, until graduation when some students saw them taking pictures together with Wasuke.
Sukuna looks a lot like Wasuke, and Jin looks a lot like their mother.
There was a bit of resentment between the two brothers growing up, because Sukuna thought Jin was spineless, whereas Jin thought Sukuna was selfish.
To be honest, both Sukuna and Jin had a difficult time expressing their thoughts and feelings because Wasuke was pretty harsh on the boys growing up, but he also had a lot on his plate as a single father. Given Wasuke's curt nature, he didn't really know how to nurture children and did only what he thought was right.
Sukuna was easily agitated and explosive, versus Jin who bottled everything up and could be a bit reclused when things got too overwhelming.
Kaori and Jin were high school sweethearts. They met in the debate club during Jin's sophomore year. Kaori is one year older than Jin. Jin was not the argumentative type, but he decided to step out of his comfort zone, and try something new. Seeing how Jin is now, it's hard to believe he was incredibly shy in high school. Kaori had a lot to do with him being more expressive with his feelings and really getting him out of his shell.
cmh!sukuna - college days
Left home shortly after high school graduation. He got into a huge fight with Wasuke, because Sukuna wanted to go into trades instead of university. Jin was accepted into a prestigious ivy league university on full scholarship.
Wasuke had found Sukuna's acceptance letter to the same university in the bin, after Sukuna lied and said he didn't get accepted. Wasuke went into an explosive fit - he couldn't understand why his son was settling for 'less' and told him with that mentality he will amount to nothing.
Though Sukuna left home at 18 and seemingly hated his brother, he never changed his telephone number just in case one day Jin needed him.
College was when Sukuna really began to let loose and felt the full experience of freedom.
Lost his virginity to some random TA in his college, he couldn't even remember her name or face, until she approached him one day out of the blue and thought she was pregnant. They went to a health clinic and it turned out to be a false alarm. The TA wanted to continue the relationship on the down-low, but Sukuna dropped it.
Sukuna met Yorozu during his first year of college. Her band was prepping for a college event - they did a cover of ‘Smile Like You Mean It’ by The Killers, which initially piqued Sukuna’s interest
Yorozu and Sukuna hit it off quite well, it had a lot to do with their approach to life, and to be honest they were both kind of troubled at the time.
Toji and Shiu came into the picture shortly after, they met Yorozu during an elective course they all shared, and somehow the four of them all came together as a group even though they were from vastly different fields of studies. Toji and Shiu have known each other for a long time.
Yorozu's area of study - music (4 year), Shiu's area of study - international business (4 year), Toji's area of study - exercise science (3 year), Sukuna's area of study - automotive technician (apprenticeship program, 2 years)
cmh!sukuna - 20's, up to when he went to jail
When Sukuna was 21, he received a phone call from Jin. Wasuke passed away very abruptly. He came home from work one night and said that he had a headache, went to bed early and never woke up.
After going through Wasuke's stuff, they accidentally broke one of Wasuke's picture frames. The framed photo was from their high school graduation. Sukuna never saw the photo before, but Wasuke wore a big smile, one that Sukuna had never seen growing up. And when he looked closely, he could see that his father's gaze was actually on him in that photo.
On the back of the photo, Wasuke wrote a note to his late wife. "They grew up well. I tried my best though it would have been better if you were around, but they still managed to pave a path for themselves despite my shortcomings as their father. Jin is very much like you, while Ryomen reminds me much of myself. They are truly both our children. I am proud of them. I miss you, but the three of us are doing fine."
That revelation with the photo really fucked Sukuna up. That's when he also patched things up with Jin.
Jin graduated at 22 from an ivy league business school, and had this ambition of becoming an entrepreneur. At this point, Sukuna had already been working as a full-time mechanic for two years. Jin approached Sukuna with the idea and that's when they kickstarted their garage business.
The first year was quite difficult, but then afterwards it started picking up, eventually by their fifth year, business was booming. Jin was able to get married to Kaori, and bought a house to start their family. Sukuna bought two condos, and continued living his life of work hard, play hard, and just enjoying a commitment-free life.
Patching up his relationship with Jin and starting a business really saved Sukuna's life - and that's why he has so much respect for Jin and the business. It definitely curbed down his edginess and he felt less troubled, but he's far from a saint and knows there's still a lot he needs to work on.
A few months later, the altercation with the bad business deal happened and Sukuna went to jail for two and a half years.
Toji, Shiu, and Yorozu would occasionally visit him in jail
Jin and Kaori would visit Sukuna too, but Sukuna was the one to tell Jin and Kaori not to visit when they found out she was pregnant. "Don't worry about me, take care of the kid. I don't want a pregnant woman coming in and out of jail like that. I'll see you both and the kid when I'm out."
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Writing © xechu - please do not redistribute, translate, or repost any of my works.
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himblebo · 9 months ago
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In Act 2 of Lempicka when Tamara and Rafaela enter Le Monocle for the first time they look around at all the women together and Rafaela says “a room full of nothing but US” and Tamara says “let’s never leave” and guys I just went to a lesbian bar for the first time (okay it’s actually a deli but they turn it into a lesbian bar at night) and GUYS? That is the safest I have ever felt out drinking and dancing and I felt so natural and I was surrounded by other queer women and that’s. That’s the first actual queer space I’ve been to in YEARS and especially post-pandemic. And I’m feeling such an overwhelming mix of emotions right now because I didn’t realize how isolated I felt from the queer community in my day to day life (ie not online). I just. God.
Dedicated queer spaces are so important. Lesbian bars are so important. This is the only one I’ve been to but I’m VERY aware that these days there are fewer and fewer of them but I just. I didn’t know how badly this kind of place and experience and connection to community was missing from my life until I suddenly had it tonight.
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mrsmarlasinger · 8 months ago
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Wish I liked that system I met at the gay club but unfortunately I only like the host cuz all her alters are annoying and rude 😔😔
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cemeterym · 5 months ago
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i'm begging my uni to stop making every fucking student social activity something where you have to walk around a bunch if you are a slow walker who cannot help it they literally want you dead
#i try to walk as fast as i humanly can. which i shouldn't bc it hurts and makes me dizzy. and i'm still slower than everyone else#last week we divided into groups and had to walk to checkpoints around the city to do tasks#i had a friend in my group who knows abt my issues and they walked slower with me which was nice. everyone else walked like 10 20 meters#ahead and it was fucking embarrassing bc for every checkpoint they had to wait for me#and i felt bad my friend couldn't talk to anyone else in the group bc they were zooming way ahead of us and i'm the one who couldn't keep up#and like. they didn't know my body's fucked. but these are people i do not know well at all and maybe i don't wanna disclose my medical#history to everyone i interact with#and like this event wasn't mandatory. i could've skipped it#but it's every fucking time#most nights we end up going to a bar and to these people “walking distance” is like a half an hour. and they walk fast#i can never keep up#i don't reallu enjoy bars either and i don't drink but you just kinda have to endure to socialize. some days i can't handle it tho#this week there's another checkpoint type activity. i know i shouldn't. i know i'm gonna slow everyone down#but i got specifically asked and invited to be a part of a team. i can't remember the last time that happened#also we're doing a group costume and mine includes platform heels on the streets of a very old city i am so cooked#my friend is nice tho. they know the basic lore and check up on me a bunch which always catches me off guard 😭#i'm used to pushing through and also used to people not really taking my shit into consideration so i don't know how to respond sometimes#2 people in the group know the issues and i just sent the gc a “sorry in advance i can't walk very fast” so like what else is there to do#only accessibility info we're ever given is if it's wheelchair accessible. and that's good. like you should do that. but it kinda ends there#like how much walking is there. where are the stops. are there places to sit.#i love having to either push through or be excluded disabilities are awesome#been in soooo much pain lately and have to take breaks walking uphill. functional body#i live in an area where everything. literally everything. is uphill one way or another. so as you can imagine it's going great#also “you have to endure to socialize” as if i don't end up hovering around my friend like a lost puppy with separation anxiety anyway#the group costume is winx club. btw
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icewindandboringhorror · 7 months ago
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Everytime I face a new character limit on a website that didn't have them before/used to have really long ones... AUGHHhhh the modern social media world was not made for people like me (lovers of details, rambling, elaboration, thorough explanation, and nuance)
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#twitter and other short form shit and everything being a Phone App On Small Screen instead of a Proper#Computer Website i feel like has just ruined the format of literally everything for me. Thoughts just keep getting more and more condensed#with detail and nuance taken away. everything over simplified into only the basics. blah blah blah. I've already probably rambled about thi#all before but it's just SO frustrating. I literally just CAN NOT talk that way!!! even if I try!!! I took multiple advanced placement#english & language arts classes in school and I literally never made below an A on any assignment EVER except for ESSAYS#where I would legit get almost failing grades just because I cannt express myself concisely. I took an english placement test thats made to#like evaluate your competency in a subject and out of the 102 multiple choice questions I only missed TWO of them. almost a perfect#score. But for the 5 open response questions (about articulating thoughts succinctly) I did not get a single one of them lol#I only got partial credit on 3. It's like I OBVIOUSLY understand the material and I know how Words Work and how to analyze and interpret#meaning and etc. etc. But it's just when I have to express myself CLEANLY I can't. It's always ''well you have very good points and you#get around to the idea eventually and I think it's very insightful - but it just needs to be shorter/the side tangent needs to be removed/#etc.'' I've always wondered if it has something to do with being on the schizophrenia spectrum and how that can cause disorganized#speech sometimes hmm..ANYWAY.. But I just naturally express myself in a very particular way which is lengthy and I can't rea#ly seem to control it. So it's basically like just.. being gradually pushed out of every place that won't accomodate people with different#ways of like perceiving and expressing or etc. Everything cannot ALWAYS be 100% 'Short and Snappy and To The Point' or a quippy one#liner or the Bare Minimum of information being provided or etc. Some peoples brains just do not work like that!!!!! Sorry I operate#in detail and elaboration lol. ANYWAY.. I still sometimes use random ''dating sites'' like OKCupid to look for platonic friends since#I never leave the house so it's hard for me to just meet friends naturally. And I just realized today that they added a RIDICULOUSLY small#character limit to their messaging system (2000 words?? augh). And also took away answer explanations (when you answer a compatibility#question you used to have a space to give detail and explain why you answered the way you did) and removed a few other features and it's ju#t like.. how the fuck is any of this actually helpful in terms of judging compatibility? take away ALL nuance and anyting that actually#is meant to tell you anything about a person? Bumble's character limits for your profile description are even more fucking insane and so#is every other disgustingly minimalistic place I've seen like.. OKC used to be superior BECAUSE it allowed for a TON of detail. like back i#2016 or something there was SO much data you could look at. long form question answers. personality trait summaries. etc. Now you have#SOO little to judge off of when evaluating compatibiility it's like. You'd have better luck just throwing a dart in a crowded street and#talking to whoever it hits. Why are people so fucking allergic to reading anything longer than 3 words and providing DETAILS!! It just seem#harder and harder to find any place to meet platonic friends where you have any amount of actual data to go off of and it isnt basically#just random 'speed dating' set up shit. AARGH. &I know 'oh just join a club& meet ppl irl' 1. erm..covid. 2.I mostly want to meet ppl#in places I'd like to move so I already know ppl when I get there. You kind of HAVE to do that online. bc I am not there yet.. WISHING for#Complexity.Com where ppl can upload full 900 page psychological files of themselves. MINIMUM profile character limit 30k words lol
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silverselfshippingchaos · 1 month ago
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so there's this character. i always thought he looked kinda stupid and i never found him attractive. but, uh....
... has he always been this handsome?!
#ash rambles 💚#AM I COOKED?!#and so what if we have the same favorite flower? so what if he plays video games like i do?#and so fucking what if he loves superhero movies and comics like i do?!#please no please tell me this isn't happening rn... no no I'm not gonna develop a crush on him NO!!!#i already have so many f/os from y.akuza! i don't need another!!!!#he's totally not my type!!!!!#... his voice is nice..#i bet cuddling him would feel good...#...#ASH NO#it's 2am. i need to sleep. yup. surely this is just me being sleepy and stupid. I'm too embarrassed to say who it is but. stupid idiot guy-#I'll be fine when i wake up. surely.#... I've been saying that for the past two days...#i refuse to develop a crush!!!!!!!!!! i already have a thing for s.eonhee and n.anba. i don't need another y.akuza LAD character goddamnit#i don't want him i swear#i just... don't remember him being so easy on the eyes is all....#also earlier today i took a nap. it was such a good nap. but uh.........#hopefully it was just a coincidence that i slept so well only after i talked about him to my friend...#I'm gonna go to bed. please leave my mind you damn idiot! i just... he's just.... more handsome than i thought......... that's it!!!!!!!#i already have like 10+ y.akuza f/os! I'm done! no more!!!!#if you saw me rbing shit of him on my main a few days ago no you didn't!!!! this is just a phase surely!!!#and i mean come on i haven't played his games yet!#i do find his lookalike in y6 very hot but come on! shirtless guy who runs a sex club? is rich asf? plenty violent? of course I'm into that!#he's so fucking hot omg. UGH AND THE EPIC THEME SONG?? hehe i was giggling so much when he made that comment about how he knows damn well#that ladies love a man covered in blood and then started fighting... hehe.. i know what club I'm spending all my money at...#but this other guy that happens to look just like him? he's just a silly nice guy that likes his video games (ignore the crimes) I'm not#about that!!!! the other one is way hotter!!! and surely i wont fall for this guy!!! I'm gonna play y.akuza 7 and 8 and be normal about him#i just... he's... easy on the eyes! thats it! okay! goodnight!!!#like a flowing wind 🔳
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cant-get-no-worse · 9 months ago
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Your writing is always great, I need you to write something to either making us optimistic about the future of the club or to make us realize how much in deep shit we actually are please 😭
Babe, just browse through my La Liga 2022/2023 tag and mourn with me. 💕
#funnily enough I’d say this: we’ve been in deep shit since FOREVER.#the way Barcelona works (ie deep issues within structure and management) goes back DECADES.#we are spectacularly mismanaged and unprofessional on top of having a victim hood complex.#the environment - whether mediatic or politic - surrounding the club is an utter and disfunctional nightmare.#in every club’s environnement there has existed corruption and favouring friends in positions you want them in#but it is especially the case for this club.#needless to say I am not saying all of fcb’s issues stem solely from itself and no exterior factors have ever influenced it.#a historically left wing club / figure head for a region/independentism movement / opposing centralism which controls the league/refs etc.#however as culers we tend to majorly - and rightfully - highlight the latest part without ever daring to question our precious multimil club#both factors (internal and external) have to be taken into account to understand ‘the deep shit’.#that said now. as I’ve said this *is not new*. we’ve had those issues for DECADES and yet this club became what it is today.#we’ve reached highest of highs and lowest of lows while dealing with aforementioned factors.#so my very tired take this evening is to chill out; nothing we can do but watch unfold.#perhaps once again La Masia youngsters and lucky choices of coach will drag us up. perhaps new political president conflict still battling#over cruyff’s heritage or against it will bring forth a good one; perhaps not.#overall a very Chill to us all.#we’re facing greatness and decadence and been on both sides of the coin; and there’s reassurance in knowing in both case we still did great.#this club has been rotting since mid 50s and you just have to roll with it and wait for the cycles to come and go.#anon ask#sorry it doesn’t make much sense rn I’ll talk about it more later. or NOT
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thedissociatives · 3 months ago
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one of my mates sent me a demo of theirs earlier today and i just got round to listening to it holy shit my friends are so talented ?????
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rosykims · 3 months ago
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i was so set on replaying veilguard for the davrinmance but oh my god im SO attached to my agent-of-fenharel hardingmancer rn i actually think the choice is out of my hands lol
#oc: evander#datv#tay plays datv#datv spoilers#deia's brother btw !!!! very much giving anders vibes if anders was kind of deadbeat oldest son who frequents the club#him having sold out the inquisition on solas's instruction and then falling for one of the scouts who was hurt the most by it#very much a mirror to solavellan except theyre literally just people and ultimately victims of their leader's organizations overarching war#and harding being sympathetic to solas enough to reach evanders conscience even during Peak radicalization#but holding solas accountable enough to potentially sway evanders mind#and then evander learning the truth about solas but also specifically what that means for harding the person hes grown to love#having to reconcile that his own rebel-fantasy is not more important than the very real pain his loved ones have gone thru as a result#and like figuring out what going forward looks like. is he STILL sympathetic but its tempered? or does he go full anti-solas in an act of#redemption which would also probably involve him telling harding to embrace her anger and not her loving side?? which is kind of the invers#of his own arc.#GOD.#AND THEN ITS LIKE. DO I KILL OFF HARDING AT THE END???? THAT WOULD BE SOOOOO CRAZY FOR THE *STORY*#i think she has to live actually bc i hate the fridged wife trope and solas Is ultimately redeemed in this worldstate#and if harding died bc of solas (and evanders varricmancer sister also lost varric) evander WOULD be team kill immediately no exceptions#but still food for thought#god. chat i am fucking COOKING today this is crazy#hes not technically my rook bc he works way better in the story as a ~companion~ to deia (his sister) the actual protag#but both he and matthas (the other pro-inquisition brother) could arguably have been the Rook as well.#all 3 of the mercar siblings were AT the ritual but for different reasons (evander to aid solas. matthas to kill solas. deia to stop him)#so MAYBE I WILL romance harding instead this time...... how are we feeling abt hardings romance babes is it good. do we recommend
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