#and I am so glad I have love and community here. I don’t know what I would do

[divine-altruism]

How do you feel about gender? Or having a name? Or attraction as a whole? Is it tied to more mortal instincts, or do you still have some essence of it?

I definitely don't have a gender identity the same way humans do, I just have one out of what I feel is a social necessity. I don't necessarily consider myself a "woman" but I do consider my gender as feminine. In face-to-face interactions, I don't mind being called a woman by those who don't know me. With the androgynous body that I live in, however, I also wouldn't mind being gendered either way. I feel like that information is most important to people who actually know me. My name is something I picked for myself and love very, very much! I don't think Artiya'il was the name I used prior to me living on Earth, but even if I could remember my old name, I would still have to pick a new name because my mother tongue is incomprehensible to humans. As for my attraction, I find that mostly I am not romantically attracted to humans or other nonhumans, but I have a genuine passionate love for all creatures equally! It is still possible for me to have romantic attraction to others if we get close enough, but it isn't very likely. Platonic and familial bonds are the ones I have the most often! For me, I think the way I love is not a mortal instinct, but a nonhuman one! Specifically an angelic one. My love for others as a baseline is constant and unconditional.

How much sense of “human”ness do you feel, and do you see yourself as equal to humans, something more, or like a watcher of life around you?

I feel myself so equal to humans that I don't mind being assimilated with them, or being referred to as one of them! Yes, my lifetime is longer and much more infinite than a human lifetime will ever be. And yes, I hold powers and capabilities totally unfathomable to them. But that doesn't mean much to me! Although I don't know why I'm here, I know that the best thing I can do is enjoy my life in this body while I'm in it, so that means having connections with the creatures around me, and I am so glad for it!

Would you prefer to be in another dimension? Do your senses feel dulled?

Luckily, I don't wish to be anywhere else but here! But yes, my senses are so, so dulled! I had so many more eyes before this body, and could only hear the constant chatter of the telepathic communication between the angels in heaven. That noise never really turned off, but I used to have a body that could handle that much information being processed at one time, so it wasn't overstimulating! This world now is so, so quiet. I only hear my headmates and the world around me.

Do you fear people don’t understand you well enough? Don’t understand us? Have you ever felt like doing something about it?

I do feel a large disconnect from other angels and it weighs heavily on me. I often feel misunderstood by the humans around me, especially when I have to mask my nonhumanity. Doing something about it is exactly why I made this blog! I hoped to find other nonhumans, or other angels and demons.

HEY, Angel !!

Would you care as to describe your experience? I think not enough hear on just how varied and interesting we are, and it would be great to scroll through reblogs of a single post and be able to find those with similar experiences/feelings.

feel free to write whatever but if you would like some prompts:

Have you noticed the world seem more beautiful/peaceful since you’ve found yourself?

How do you feel about gender? Or having a name? Or attraction as a whole? Is it tied to more mortal instincts, or do you still have some essence of it?

How do you feel like you physically look? Do you have any preferences in form? Would you change the way you are perceived if you could - and into what?

How does your day get affected due to your mystical self?

Do you incorporate this sense of self in your hobbies / behaviours?

What does being an Angel or being of divine/holy nature mean to you? Do you consider yourself born here, a newly created angel, or one which has been around for a long time? Do you have any thoughts as to why you were assigned human at birth?

How much sense of “human”ness do you feel, and do you see yourself as equal to humans, something more, or like a watcher of life around you?

Do you feel like you have some higher purpose and reasoning of being here? A meaning of life, if you will call it that.

Do you have any religious connotations tied to your identity?

How did you come to realise who you were, and what signs did you exhibit prior to knowing this?

Do you have any other ‘uncommon’ bits of self apart from being a being of light, in a way? (Therian, otherkin, interests in specific things, neurodivergencies?) YOU DONT HAVE TO ANSWER THIS IF YOU DONT WANT TO!!

What’s your favourite thing about the bodily experience of being on earth? Is there any sensation you really like? (Taste, smell, touch, feeling, etc)

Would you prefer to be in another dimension? Do your senses feel dulled?

What’s your stance on mortality and topics tied to that? Do you believe in reincarnation/past lives/fate/destiny/divine intervention/guardian angels/ghosts/heaven & hell/god/meaning of life?

Would you enjoy if others treated you as some highly being and brought you offerings/treated you like a god/submit to you/worked for you?

What’s your stance on the community?

How do you interpret existence - how does it all seem to feel and what do you take away from it, like.. what do you live for? Do you have a sense of some ideal where the more you experience the higher you will achieve? Do you crave something out of life?

Do you have a ‘gut instinct/feeling’ and has it ever been scarily accurate to the point there could be no other possible explanation other than something holy?

Do you believe you are blessed and/or protected by some invisible force?

Where do you believe angels also show themselves? Are they in those stray rays of light of headlights, do they exist in the bite marks of a wounded animal’s form, is it within the ripples of the water, in the breath of the tree that takes in the wine, in the chill upon a high mountain - or is divinity everywhere?

Do you fear people don’t understand you well enough? Don’t understand us? Have you ever felt like doing something about it?

do you feel bored from these questions already - did you enjoy it- would you like more? Did I give you satisfaction? I find joy through writing, it makes me personally feel incredibly divine, and there’s a calling to know more about other individuals in this mystical and extensive world.. we need to stick together - as a whole. Love eachother. Treat yourselves well, too. Do more of what makes you feel fulfilled and happy. There’s so much complexities to life, but we just gotta handle it all with our own minds - but treat your heart and soul with so much kindness and care.. please- take care of yourself. Find whatever works for you and live forever, my friend. My eternal, immortal friend..

[olivexing]

They are IN LOVE! and being so brave about it!!!

[charmedreincarnation]

MAYA, I MANIFESTED MY DREAM LIFE!!!!

Okay, I don't know if you remember me, but I participated in a lot of your challenges and the Pink’s challenge, and I found some success! I shifted to my wr and manifested some things, but I could never do it consistently, and it was really fucking annoying.

So, I took three months off and worked hard, using subliminals every day and going on affirmation rampages. I was doing lucid dreaming methods, SATs, meditations, yoga nidra, reading spiritual books literally my whole summer was dedicated to shifting and the void state. I was eat sleeping and breathing it because I could not continue to live the way I was even I can even consider that living …

So What did I do

I just followed your challenge because college was starting, and I couldn't go back to school without my dream life for the fourth time, fearing I might actually harm myself. So played the fields with this rampage (together in two different tabs).

During the Day

https://youtu.be/aLsn6ZK4RZ8?si=Dt_j7ChLjNsQ6tpV

https://youtu.be/gBD4Owz1GC0?si=icOkN1DoFsqP-adT

During the day, I would live in the end. I created albums for my desired realities, re-read my scripts, revised my void list because I genuinely believed I was going to succeed, watched supercell shifting videos on YouTube, and stared at my vision board, realizing it was going to be my life the next day, and more!

Overnight

https://youtu.be/JwV297pP9aw?si=Sxx-xlhE_owInoxH

https://youtu.be/DKB5I9y8SEg?si=PI-UaNw2m_VUWYy1

What I Manifested

- Master shifting abilities

- Master void state abilities

- Having my WR to be a perfect heaven

- Making this current reality a dream: desired looks, desired body, never gaining weight, revised wealth and family, dream friend group, a social media following, being worshipped and respected, being so beautiful by my own standards, dream home (I have a mountain range that goes through my backyard and a farm on my land, it’s enormous), revised city, only attracting wealthy, tall, attractive men, pretty privilege, 145 IQ, going to an Ivy League, getting rid of my anxiety and depression, getting rid of my health issues, no toxic family, so much money, and revised my name to Bella because I love Bella Hadid (my old name was Audrey), and so much more.

I know it sounds nothing too crazy compared to other people who manifest powers and trillions of dollars, but I can shift anytime I want. I’m going to my singing desired reality and high school musical Dr soon and I am so excited I have hundreds of places to explore. My life here finally has stability, and I’m so happy. Not waking up with stress, nausea, and diarrhea is a blessing. My house is clean, my family members aren’t fighting and calling me names, my siblings and I are close. I audibly gasp anytime I see myself in the mirror. My phone is always blowing up with people asking me for plans when it used to be dry as hell, and people forgot I even existed. Everywhere I go, people tell me I should model, want to pay for what I’m buying, are so kind, open doors for me, want to help me for no reason, give me discounts, ask me on dates… I’m so happy and confused. I don’t know how to feel. I am genuinely so loved and respected, and on top of that, I get to explore the universe of my favorite shows and movies.

I’m so glad I never gave up, even though these three months were hard and my life had gotten worse, I am finally free, my hard work paid off, and I hope everyone else will do the same. We truly are God! I was afraid this community was some big joke and big bloggers were creative writers or just laughing at delusional people like me, but I can confirm it’s very, very real.

My love I am so proud of you ! And yes I vaguely remember you and your first shift you messaged me about :)!

I am happy your hard work paid off as well. I remember when everything seemed so meaningless and delusional as well and I also thought shifting was some big joke to target mentally ill teens, but the reality is we truly are all god and no amount of doubt and struggle will ever change that truth. I hope you enjoy your dream life, and I am happy I could help 💖

[cowboy-heart]

'interview with a butch' - a fake interview reflecting on butch-femme dynamics! inspired by the amazing piece by @llovely, which you can read here :)

(ID below read more)

[an original, interview-style poem called 'interview with a butch':

when did you know you were butch? I knew by the time I was sixteen, but that’s only when I found the word. I’ve been butch since the day I was born, at least since I was just a few months old and threw an earth-shattering tantrum whenever my mum tried to put me in a dress. (both laugh) your poor mum!

I remember being a little butch knight, chivalrous even before I was double digits. my best friend only lived up the road from school, but her parents were running late and she was scared to do it herself. so I walked her up the hill, her arm linked in mine, pride balancing on my chest. and when I got her to her door, I said that we should kiss like adults do when they say goodbye, and we took it in turns to kiss each other on each cheek. when I walked home I felt something the size of a boulder in my stomach, but I didn’t know what it meant yet, just that there was something about myself that set me apart.

how did you feel with your first femme? oh, man, even for a writer that’s hard to find the words for. (laugh) let’s put it this way: before I had my first femme, I always felt like something was missing in my relationships – not just in the relationship itself, but in me. I felt broken and wrong, unsatisfied and selfish. I thought that maybe I just had too high expectations or something. hell, even with sex I felt like something was missing, like I couldn’t find my own desire.

But then, then I had my first femme. How graphic can I be here? (laugh) as graphic as you want! okay, good!

watching my stomach hang over my harness, long nails in my hips, I felt like I had a second sexual awakening. I felt the most present in my body I’d ever been, and like I could be in them forever. I didn’t feel dissatisfied, or wrong. when their hand held mine and played with my fingers I felt lightning shoot through me. it was like realising I was a lesbian all over again. but even outside of romance, femmes are my friends, my family, my community. talking to femmes, being around femmes, I’ve never felt so seen and loved. I can handle every sharp look, every slur thrown my way, just because my armour was polished by femmes.

do you find your roles restrictive? they’re liberating. I think sometimes people see me and think that I had to fit into this constrictive box, that I disallowed myself to enjoy anything feminine. the reality is that for butches, we find the word we’ve been searching for our whole lives. I can’t even remember finding the word, isn’t that crazy? it felt second nature. it somehow perfectly described everything I’d ever felt, exposed me to a community of people who were just like me outside of my Tory town! (pause)

I think there’s a tendency even in leftist, LGBT spaces to think that masculinity is oppressive, and femininity is liberating and oppressed. but it’s really not like that. we’re punished for deviating from our assigned gender, whether you’re a masculine woman, or a feminine man, or something in between the two. I’ve had gay men try to convince me to let them do my makeup, I’ve had gay women tell me that they’re “so glad” I don’t have ‘toxic masculinity’ like “other butches”. femininity was a cage for me, something I had to imitate to survive the perils of high school, but it was never me. masculinity liberated me, and it’s not inherently toxic. I love to carry the bags, hold open the doors, cry in pride, protect those I love. and there’s nothing like coming home at the end of the day to a sweet femme, ready to rub my tired muscles. man, I’m not good at concise answers, am I? (both laugh) no, but I love it!

what do you think of people who see your relationship as heteronormative? they’re twats! (both laugh) now, that’s a concise answer! no, no that’s not fair. here’s what I’d say to them:

I see it as…a complex gender performance. no, that makes it sound like it’s play pretend. they’re complex gender…expressions, dynamics, play, desire, euphoria. a butch and a femme together is no more heterosexual than a bear and a twink, a top and a bottom. it’s a dance that we know in our bones, like we knew each other in a previous lifetime and we’re just falling back into our favoured rhythm. even every fumble and awkward gesture is a part of it. we fall into sync and into each other, we tenderise each other’s gender, affirm it, and love every minute of it. we’re not two sides of the same coin, you talk to any butch-femme couple and chances are our priori (edit: interviewee meant propositions) are the same but our conclusions are not; we’re the same side of the same coin, just one is the top of the tail and the other is the bottom of it. is that a euphemism? (laugh) take it as you will!

I’m no man, my femme is no woman, and I’m no less butch when I’m wearing a kiss-the-cook apron and cleaning their kitchen, and they’re no less femme when they’re putting together a shelf or driving me to work. To look at us and see a heteronormative imitation of cisgender predetermination is proof of their own lack of nuance – do you think all dogs are boys and all cats are girls, too? (both laugh)

I think in a lot of ways, butch-femme dynamics are inherently transsexual. or, in the very least, good friends of transgenderism. If you can’t see us for what we are then chances are you’ve got your own internalised gender biases to unlearn.

I’ve always been butch to my bones, but when I’m with my baby I’m on cloud nine. I feel desired, my gender revered and loved.

so, what you’re saying is, you feel seen? I do. we see each other and nurture each other. I’ve never really liked being called ‘beautiful’, but when it falls from the lips of a femme, I know that they’re not seeing me as feminine. I feel most comfortable to explore the depths of both my femininity and masculinity with them; I don’t feel restricted to a role.

maybe that’s what people are missing about it: our homes are temples of gender exploration and devotion.

end ID].

[inks-writing-space]

Release~ Elijah Mikaelson x Reader

~~~~~~~~~

2k words: You are pent up and trying to get Elijah to pay attention but at what cost?

Warnings: smut, oral (f!recieving), teasing, slight overstimulation, and multiple orgasm (female)

A/N: Honestly I have been having this image of Elijah eating his lover out in my head for weeks now and I had to write that down (I might or might not also be procrastinating school work and sleep).

~~~~~~~

You looked at Elijah and rolled your eyes. He was all composed and relaxed, although you had tried your best to rile him up all day. You had tried everything. First you had worn one of his shirts in the morning, running around the house like that. He had just pulled you back in your shared bedroom preventing anyone from seeing you like that. As if anyone was home Then you had become a little bolder. You had tried to run your hands down his chest, his arms, touching his biceps, squeezing it slightly. But he had just taken your hands in his with an amused smile on his face and stopped you with a chuckle. 

You had been pent up with sexual frustration for almost two days now and you didn’t know how to communicate your desire to fuck with him. Right here preferably. Maybe on the kitchen table. 

Elijah was now sitting in front of you with a book in his hand, reading, acting as if he wasn't noticing how pent up you were. You decided to tease him a little more by standing up and walking behind him with quick and deliberate steps wrapping your hands around him from your angle. 

“Why don't you come up in the bedroom with me?,” you whispered into his ears but Elijah only chuckled.  

“Why don’t you let me finish this chapter and then we’ll see?,” he asked. You rolled your eyes again and pointed to a dictionary on the table, “You know I bet if I would search boring in there, a picture of you would probably pop up.” 

You knew it wasn’t a good idea to talk to him like that, it was rather dangerous to challenge him. Elijah proved your point immediately as he snapped his book closed with a thud. “Boring?,” he asked, drawing out the syllables of the word and you smiled slightly, your cheeks heating up. Now you had him where you wanted him. 

“Why don’t you come here and I'll show you something absolutely not boring?,” Elijah asked, his voice low and dangerous as he patted his lap. You quickly got closer. Elijah wrapped an arm around your waist, his fingers tracing gentle patterns on your neck, as he pulled you down onto him forcing you to sit.

“You see,” he started, “I planned to have a nice and relaxing evening with you today, showing you how much I adore you and that I am glad you are here,” he said his hand wrapped around your throat, “For that I thought it might be of good use, if you are a little pent up, wouldn’t you think that?,” he asked.

You didn’t respond, your heart pounding in your chest. Elijah chuckled, “Love, I asked you a question,” he said and squeezed your throat to emphasize his point.

“Yes,” you croaked out. 

Elijah hummed approvingly, as his hand slowly ran down your chest squeezing your breast through the material of your clothes. 

“But you seem to be all eager and can’t wait, isn’t it like that, sweetheart?,” he chuckled and you whimpered as his hand snaked under your shirt.  “Elijah, not here,” you whispered, you might have been dreaming about him to fuck you, but this was to risky for your taste. But it wasn't any help, he ignored you pulling your shirt over your head with a smile. 

“I missed the part where you get to decide that,” he chuckled and shifted you on his lap, so you were sitting on his right leg only, as his hand dipped under your skirt and made you shiver. Normally Elijah was taking his time, preparing you properly for him, but right now he was just pushing up the lace, his fingers gracing your folds. 

“What a nice surprise,” he chuckled darkly, as he realized you weren’t wearing any underwear. 

“Elijah,” you whispered as his fingers pushed against your clit, drawing lazy circles before stroking your folds twice. 

“You are so wet. I bet you've been like that for quite a while now, hm?,” he chuckled, his fingers going back to your clit to circle it slowly. You tried to buck your hips against him, but it wasn't any use,

He clicked his tongue disapprovingly, "Now, now, is that a way to act?," he asked, his voice lower again. 

"No, I'm sorry," you whispered and he increased the speed of his fingers. He knew exactly what you needed and how to get you off at any time, but right now it was even easier for him since you were so desperate.

You were a moaning, panting mess beneath him, your head falling onto his shoulder as you pressed your eyes together and tried to keep the sounds to a minimum. 

"Don't worry, no one's here," Elijah whispered, and you quickly checked with your super hearing and realised that he was in fact right. You let out a moan which only encouraged Eliah to touch you rougher. You desperately wanted him to insert a finger into your pussy, but he seemed to have other plans.

His skilled touch drove you to the edge quickly and effectively, and you whimpered as his fingers pushed you over it without a second thought. The heat of your orgasm crashed over you, and you panted, rutting against Elijah while trying to gain more friction, while getting away at the same time. Elijah had you melting into his touch and he just looked at you with a grin, "Now, now, what happened to the girl who was so confident only moments ago?," he whispered kissing your neck, keeping an iron grip on you, "Is she scared now?"

You crossed your arms, angry at how condescending he was talking. He gave you a light slap on the cheek before using his vampire speed to press you onto the couch. 

"You look so beautiful, when you don't know what you want," he chuckled mockingly and his hands were on your thighs, squeezing them, watching your every reaction closely. When he felt like he had you were he wanted he slowly dragged his tongue across your folds. 

"Does that feel good love?," he asked despite exactly knowing the answer. Your whimper encouraged him and he did it again. "Words," he commanded.

"Yes, Elijah, yes it feels good," you babbled your hips bucking against his tongue. You weren't sure if you wanted him off you or on you, but he didn't let you decide anyway. 

Elijah moaned at the taste of you and your head fell back against the pillow as his lips closed around your clit sucking lightly. Then again a little harder. He was forcing another orgasm, and you knew it. 

"Elijah, please," you whispered as his tongue circled your entrance before slowly sinking inside. 

"Please what?," he asked innocently, and you moaned at the feeling of him. His thumb draw circles on your clit making you shudder beneath him.

"Please I need you," she whispered. Elijah smiled pleased. He knew what you meant, what you truly needed but he had zero intentions to give it to you.

"What part of me exactly?," he asked challenging you. You swallowed but you were to worked up to back out now, and honestly, this man had his tongue between your legs, it was a little to late to be embarrassed now. 

"Your cock," you whispered and Elijah laughed his thumb running over your clit bringing you to the edge quickly and effectively. 

"Oh but sweetheart," he whispered, "I like to see you squirming beneath me, coming undone just because of my tongue."

You moaned trying to get the strength to answer but Elijah didn't give you time, giving you a final lick with his tongue and pushing you over the edge. You moaned loudly, panting, as something inside you seemed to explode. Your body was already spent but not entirely satisfied.

"Look, love," Elijah said his voice slightly condescending, "I would have given you anything you would have wanted tonight if only you would have waited for me to finish my chapter, and take you upstairs."

He clicked with his tongue disapprovingly, "But this is what you wanted right? Pure stimulations. Or did I get the message wrong?"

"Elijah," you whimpered your hands tugging at his hair, trying to get his tongue off of you, but he just pushed them away holding them to the ground.

You wanted him to be the sweet Elijah who'd talk you through it but you had unleashed something. You had tried it before, but he had always been holding back. You knew he was also doing that now, there was no way you'd ever see the beast he truly was when he was completely gone, you knew there was a good chance you wouldn't survive it. 

But that didn't matter anyway, this version of Elijah was already bringing you to the brink and back. You cried out every time his fingers or mouth would touch or taste you, the way he toyed with you not lost on you. 

Hot tears were prickling down your face as he didn't stop, didn't show any kind of mercy. "Elijah please stop," you pleaded and he looked up at you, tilting his head kissing your lips. You wrapped your hand around his neck pulling him close. You tried to unbutton his shirt or at least get his tie off but he stopped you shaking his hand. 

"My beautiful, beautiful, love," he whispered into your ear kissing your neck, "So desperate," his hand tugged into your hips as he kissed down between your breasts. He stopped at your belly and without further warning he sunk his teeth into it. You screamed in surprise but the pain quickly turned into pleasure that threatened to overthrow anything.

"Please Elijah, I am sorry for teasing you, I want you," you whispered and he could only chuckle as he slowly unbuttoned his pants. You watched him pulling his cock out and moving above you, so you could easily stroke him. 

"Will you fuck me?," you whispered completely aware of how desperately you had to sound, with his cock so close to your pussy.

He smiled a kind smile and nodded, "I don't appreciate to deny you," he whispered, "You know that."

You watched him lining himself up with you and slowly sinking into you. You moaned loudly trying to adjust to his length. No matter how many times you two would do this you could never fully comprehend his size. It wasn't that he was that much longer than any average man, which he was too, but it was mostly how thick he was. He knew how you felt about his length and smiled, kissing your forehead in adoration. 

You knew he wasn't mad anymore otherwise he wouldn't give you so much time to adjust to him. When he was really mad or disappointed with your behaviour he would just pound into you relentlessly. 

You smiled up at him nodding and he began with slow, deliberate strokes. 

"Sorry that I left you waiting for so long," he whispered and you smiled, realisation dawning in you.

"Elijah, did you set me up with letting me wait so long?," you asked. You wrapped your hands around his neck and had to close your eyes as he decided to pick up the pace. 

"Maybe," he said as you opened your ey again, his eyes sparkling, "I do love it when you are all needy and begging for release."

He chuckled and you whimpered as his thumb brushed down to your clit again.

"Can you give me one more?," he whispered into your ear and you nodded without hesitation. Elijah's strokes on your clit increased together with his trusts, bringing you closer to the promised edge.

"Fuck Elijah," you moaned out as you felt how close he was to release. He released inside you but didn't stop stimulating your clit. A white wave of pleasure crushed over you as you came around him, moaning and whimpering as you tried to regain all your senses.

You felt Elijah's body crush down on you, but he caught himself, chuckling as he kissed your neck sucking on it, leaving marks that healed instantly again. 

"You are cute when you are all spent," he whispered

"I love you," you whispered, pulling him closer, letting your hands run through his hair.

"I love you too," he said back without hesitation, drawing you against his chest and letting you close your eyes and falling asleep. 

You felt content and safe just like you loved it.

[bwat5-blog]

A Sister's Love: Jinx & Vi

**Spoilers For Arcane**

A while back I had a short but pleasant discussion with someone on one of their posts about Jinx's treatment of Vi, and how it can feel like Jinx doesn't seem to care about Vi in many instances. In hopes of further discussion, I posted in the community where many of you wonderful folks shared your thoughts on the subject and I got a lot of really good insight into this as well. I was thinking about that this morning and it got me thinking about Jinx in general, and more specifically the times when even if it's not as clear, her love for Vi shines through.

I've said this many times but it bears repeating. I am aware that I have been quite harsh on Jinx. The unfortunate reason for most of that is that a significant amount of Jinx fans have an obsession with comparing her to Caitlyn or Vi that borders on the fanatical. But my issue has never been, and will never be with the character herself. I think she is absolutely amazing as a character and loved watching her story unfold.

*I do this every-time but I think it's important. Especially because some of you have shared with me that your own mental health is what has made you connect with Jinx so strongly. I understand and recognize that her mental health plays an immensely important role in her character's journey. I am in no way, shape or form a qualified mental healthcare professional. So any disrespect or lack of sensitivity is not my intention*

Jinx & Vi:

The journey of these sisters is heartbreaking and inspiring in equal measure. It is many people's favorite part of the story and for good reason. They are so close when the show begins and ripped apart by the darkness in their world. Only to fight their way back to one another through love and sacrifice.

But their story is not without conflict. In fact at their lowest point they almost kill one another. There is much that can be said about Vi's love for Jinx, the times she fails her, and those important moments, but I want to focus on Jinx right now.

I don’t have exact quotes on hand, but someone in the community made an excellent point during our discussion. Even when Vi and Jinx are at odds, and Jinx’s hallucinations try to convince her that Vi no longer loves her—that she’s been replaced by Caitlyn—Jinx fights back. She defends who she knows her sister to be, even if she can’t always silence those voices. It’s only pain, fear, or manipulation that pushes her too far, making her lose her grip on what she knows to be true.

During the horrifying sequence when Jinx is being saved by Singed, she hallucinates. And who does she hallucinate in that terrifying moment when she is in terrible pain and in such need of comfort? Vi. Even though she just tried to kill Vi on that bridge. The vision is only corrupted when Caitlyn appears, which all stems from Silco and Sevika feeding Jinx's paranoia.

Okay. I know what some of you are thinking seeing me post ANYTHING about the dinner party on a Jinx positive post. Hear me out. There is no question that Jinx does ALL sorts of fucked up shit here. But we are talking about her love for Vi. What does she want here? She wants things to be like they used to be. She wants her sister. She is in such a dark and twisted state that she cannot see how terrible her actions are, but at her core, she wants her older sister to love her like she used to. She doesn't hurt Vi (I mean aside from the bonk). Additionally, and again- I AM NOT SAYING SHE DIDN"T DO TERRIBLE THINGS HERE- Even with all she did to Caitlyn, she knows Vi cares for Caitlyn, she views Caitlyn as the one who was taking Vi from her, and yet she doesn't kill Caitlyn and she easily could have. This is not about justifying anything she does. It's about looking for what lies beneath the darkness in her to see the person she has the potential to be again.

Here at their lowest moment, when Vi and Jinx have almost killed each-other, and Jinx is glad Vi is the one who is going to finish her, Jinx screams "NO!" when Isha does this. She doesn't want Vi to die.

Vi is at her worst during her pitfighter arc. I'm not going super in-depth on this because this post is about Jinx but Vi is in a self-destructive spiral and totally alone. It's quite clear in one moment that Jinx is there in the crowd but if you slow down the whole sequence you actually see her there a few times. This was primarily what I was discussing with some other people and I believe Jinx was watching over Vi in the best way she could process. I'm sure there was some degree of pleasure in seeing Vi cast out by Caitlyn at first, but with all other signs pointing to Jinx caring for Vi I don't think Jinx was here laughing at her sisters pain. More trying to be there and watch over Vi but with no idea how to approach her with all that happened.

*I fully recognize there is a degree of speculation on my part for this point but I think it's reasonable, feel free to let me know if you disagree!*

With everything that has happened between them, the fact that Jinx comes to collect Vi when she finds out about Vander speaks volumes. There is still much to be worked out between them but she wants their family to together again including Vi. And although I couldn't find the GIF for it, when jinx is in the dark with her lighter after Vi and Vander fight is such a heart wrenching moment. She is clearly so afraid that she has caused the death of her sister, her dad, or both. She cares so much for those that she has left.

Jinx and Caitlyn's history is the furthest thing from simple. But in this moment, Caitlyn cast Vi out, hit her, became the commander and placed Zaun under martial law all because she wanted Jinx (this is not a who is right and who is wrong I'm just making a point), Jinx would HATE Caitlyn. But she knows what she means to Vi. And she just saw Caitlyn save Vander. Jinx easily could have let Rictus finish Caitlyn then jumped in if it was just about saving Vander but she still jumps headfirst into the fight.

In the aftermath of Isha and Vander's death, Jinx could easily have escaped Caitlyn. But Caitlyn tells Vi that all Jinx wanted was to make sure Vi was safe after Vi sacrificed herself to protect her.

Jinx's mindset in this moment is a complicated topic. But I want to focus her feelings about Vi. Vi has come and broken her out of jail, risked everything for her again. And Jinx realizes Vi will never give up on her. Even at great cost to herself. So Jinx punches her and leaves her, and almost begs her to start living for herself. Because she knows Vi cannot give herself that permission. She wants Vi to choose her own life, and to choose love.

Free and clear, obviously Jinx was going to do something horrible but thankfully Ekko talked her down. Even still, she could have done anything. But what does she choose to do? She chooses to ride to war with her people, honoring Vi's faith in her.

And of course, the absolutely devastating final sacrifice (I know she's alive but you get it) of Jinx saving Vi's life when the pain and grief finally overwhelm the fearsome brawler. I have mentioned it many times, but Jinx's core belief is that everyone who gets close to her dies. She thinks she is a curse on all who love her. But in her last action, she saves the life of the older sister she knows will always love her, and who never gave up on her.

I have touched on most of this before but it was just on my mind this morning. I hope I didn't bore anyone. I know there are LOTS of strong feelings about Jinx and like I have said over and over nothing here is about justifying the wrong she did. It's just about looking at those moments that showed her true colors even when she herself couldn't see them. Hope you enjoyed, take care!

[callsign-rogueone]

some girl on a horse

Sawyer Henrick x reader (peach!) words: 4k 🏷: major iron flame spoilers in this one, peach is a horse girl lowkey, temporary heartbreak, miscommunication (or just lack of communication), sawyer should really be in the doghouse here but he's too damn cute to be mad at, sweetheart cameo... that's all I got. onyx storm tomorrow! why am I dreading it...

With each passing day, it has become more clear that you and Sawyer are done playing pretend. He’s fulfilled his duty, and is probably glad to be done with it, not having to cross the bridge to go see you every day, or to spend his weekends with you in town. He has better things to do as a rider, and an executive officer at that. 

Maybe this was the will of the universe, having your paths split, then cross, then split again. It was childish to think that you’d stay close forever, that he’d stick around longer than he had to. He’d invited you out with his friends as a nicety, and then been too polite to decline when Rhiannon had volunteered him to be your knight in shining armor. You’d been an obligation to him, nothing more. 

But there had been so many moments where you saw something like love in his eyes when he’d looked at you, felt it in his touch and heard it in his words.

He’d have made a great stage actor.

Hot tears slip down your cheeks, blurring your view of the setting sun. You’ve started spending your free time out by the end of the bridge. You can’t cross it, but you can sit there and wait. And wait you do — a book laying in your lap unread, your hands numbing from the cold wind as you gaze across the river.

Your heart leaps every time anyone comes by, falling harder each time you realize it’s not him. It’s getting dark earlier each day, getting closer to the solstice. If Sawyer and his friends have really dumped you, then that’ll be a lot fewer presents to make. 

But the boy you’d grown up with wouldn’t do this to you. He was good to the core, always one to do the right thing, the one person you could always rely on and could always trust to keep your secrets, that you’d been content to die beside when that fire had swept through the village all those years ago.

That’s what’s kept you putting on the necklace he’d given you each day after you say your prayers, kept you reading the death rolls every morning for his name and waiting out here every afternoon for any sight of him — the belief that he’d come back to you if he could.

He’ll be back tomorrow, a little bruised but otherwise intact, and you’ll bandage him up, and everything will be alright. It’ll go on like that until July, when you graduate and get shipped off… somewhere, and then maybe the gods will be kind enough to let your paths cross again.

You’d quietly accepted that you’d drift apart at school, but now that he’s back in your life, losing him is going to hurt so badly.

Your friend bursts through the doorway, panting. “The riders are leaving.”

“What?”

“Look,” she wheezes. 

Your heart drops at the sight: at least a hundred dragons all flying straight overhead. Dozens of them are red, and any one of them could be Sawyer’s. Did he leave with them? Where are they going? Is something terrible happening, and they were called in as reinforcements? 

They’re headed south, not west — not to the border with Poromiel. Navarre probably isn’t going to war, then. But what else would demand that much firepower? 

Nothing good, that’s for certain.

————————

Rumors swirl around the quadrant for the next few days, every patient and healer having something to say about the week’s events.

Are we sure this isn’t just another one of their games?

Traitors, the lot of them. They should be rounded up and hung.

I’m sure there’s a reason why they left. Maybe they know something we don’t. 

Someone calls your name down the hall; Yara, a scribe cadet you’d befriended last year.

“It’s good to see you— oh!” you squeak in surprise as she pulls you into a hug — you hadn’t taken her for a hugger, and you really aren’t that close.

“Don’t react,” she whispers into your hair, “but his name is on the list. He left, and the rest of his squad, too. The Sorrengail girl, at least.”

You blink, stunned. “To where?”

“They’re saying Riorson led them all to Tyrrendor. That venin and wyvern are real, but the leadership and the crown are ignoring the threat.” She breaks the hug, painting on a bright smile. “Me and some of the girls are going out for drinks this weekend. You should go.”

You search her eyes for some indicator that she’s hinting at what you think she is.

“It’ll be a bit of a hike,” she continues, “but we’ve done crazier things.”

Have you, really? What she’s suggesting would be capital-I Insane, and potentially land you in prison. And wyvern and venin are just fairy tales, aren’t they?

You chew your lip, thinking. If Yara is right, and Violet, the smartest person you know, had left with the rest of them, there must have been some pretty damning evidence to convince her. And if she left, then Sawyer, Ridoc, and Rhiannon definitely went with her. 

“Maybe,” you respond a moment later than appropriate for the conversation you appear to be having. “I don’t know if it would be the best idea — I have a botany test that I really need to study for.”

“Understandable. Let me know either way. Good seeing you!”

“You too,” you manage, your heart and mind both racing. Did she really suggest that you follow them to Tyrrendor, or are you going completely insane?

There’s only one person you can talk to about this.

—————

“I can’t decide if this is the best idea you’ve ever had, or the worst,” Sarah offers around a yawn.

“Hopefully not the worst,” you reply, looking around the barn. Your eyes settle on a chestnut mare, the only one awake at this hour. “Hi, girl. You wanna go on an adventure with me?” She snorts softly, happily letting you scratch at her chin. “I’m taking that as a yes.” You turn back to Sarah. “If anyone asks…”

“I have no idea where you are. Do you have everything you need?”

“I think so. I took everything I care about, so if they want to assume I’m dead, I’m fine with you burning it all.”

“Let’s hope it doesn’t get to that point.”

“Thank you for everything,” you say softly, pulling her into a hug. “I’ll write from the road — or your uncle Fergus will. Leave her stall and the barn open. Some idiot forgot to lock up properly and she bolted.”

“This is why you’re the smart one. Too bad you’re absolutely nuts.”

You laugh, quieting as you realize that it’s still very much four in the morning, and you’re supposed to be making a silent exit. 

“I really fucking hope you’re right about this,” she whispers, holding you tighter.

“Me too.”

The horse lets you saddle and mount easily, walking you toward the door. “Alright, girl,” you say, patting her neck. “Let’s see how fast you can go.”

————————————

“Did you need something?” Brennan asks the infantry officer, looking rather peeved that he’d interrupted his lecture. 

“We have a bit of a situation,” he says quietly, embarrassed. “There’s some girl on a horse outside, says she’s a healer. Came all the way from Basgiath.”

Second squad exchanges a look.

“There’s only one healer I know that’s crazy enough to do that,” Rhiannon whispers.

Violet looks over at her, incredulous. “You don’t think…” 

Ridoc grins from ear to ear, clapping a hand onto Sawyer’s shoulder. “Why are you still here? Go get your girl.”

Sawyer bolts from his seat, ignoring Brennan’s protests as he races down the hall toward the front gates. “She’s on our side,” he calls, and the two guards lower their swords, letting him through.

Your head snaps up at the voice, your body flooding with relief at the sight of him. You spring forward and hug him tightly, clutching the black leather of his jacket for dear life. “You’re alive,” you breathe, and his heart cracks right down the middle. “Gods, Sy, I was so scared… The leadership wouldn’t tell us anything, and I didn’t hear from you or Violet or Ridoc or anyone… I waited for you at the bridge every day, but you never came, and I thought…”

He wraps his arms around you, letting you rest your head on his shoulder. “I’m so sorry, peach,” he whispers, rife with guilt. “It hurt so fucking bad to leave you behind, but I knew you’d be safer there, under the wards.”

You’re crying now, tears slipping down your cheeks and seeping into the fabric of his shirt. “Don’t tell me that anything is safer than being with you.”

He holds you a little closer, rubbing your back gently — slow sweeps of his palm, up and down, up and down, letting you get it all out. 

“I mean it,” you sniff, still clinging to him. “I need you, Sy. I don’t ever want to be away from you like that again.”

“Hey,” he soothes, holding you closer, “I swear to every god who’s listening that I will never leave you behind again. You have my word.”

“Good,” you say in that same cracked whisper you’d used when you’d agreed to let him protect you from James, to play pretend with him.

He continues to whisper soft reassurances to you, rubbing your back. “I’m okay. Everyone is okay. They’re all here, Ridoc and Violet and Rhiannon and everyone. They’re all safe.”

That makes you feel a little better — you’ve become deeply attached to his squad in the last three months, and you couldn’t bear the thought of any of them being injured, or worse. “Is it true?” you ask softly. “All those fairy tales about wyvern and dark magic?”

“It is,” he says quietly. “All of it.”

You exhale deeply, sitting with the information for a moment. “I don’t know what to say,” you admit.

“That’s okay,” he says quietly. “You don’t have to say anything.”

Your tears have dried by now — you don’t have any left, likely because you’re so dehydrated. Water had been scarce the last few days. 

He finally puts it together. “Did you steal a horse?”

“I prefer the term liberated,” you wheedle, and Cinnamon chuffs softly in agreement.

“From who?”

“Some poor infantry cadet. They didn’t treat her right, anyway.”

He laughs, bewildered. “You’re absolutely crazy, Peach.”

“Yeah,” you laugh, waving him off, “but you love it.”

He holds you tighter, letting you lean into him — you’re exhausted, your entire body sore from your journey. “I do,” he says softly. “I do love it. I love everything about you.”

Your breath catches. “Sawyer…” you whisper, a warning that you’re getting close to something you can’t ever come back from. 

He ignores it. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and I’m so grateful that you came back into my life when you did. I don’t want to play pretend anymore. I want this to be real.”

“I want that too,” you say quietly. “I was going to tell you the day that you left.”

“I’m so sorry,” he murmurs. “I promise you that I’ll spend the rest of my days making it up to you.”

“I don't think I was ever really pretending,” you admit into his shoulder.

He laughs softly, his chest shaking against yours. “I wasn’t either.” You shiver, burrowing into him further — it’s freezing out here, but he’s impossibly warm. “Alright. Let’s get you ladies inside.” 

Cinnamon lets him take the reins easily, trusting him to be gentle with her after seeing the way you ran to him and hugged him so tightly. 

You stay tucked into his side as you make the short walk to the stables. 

He turns to you after a moment, pausing his work of undoing the tack. “Wait. It’s a twelve-hour flight from here to the school… When did you leave?”

“Nine days ago,” you answer tiredly. “It would have been eight, but there was a rockslide in the mountains, so I had to double back and take the long way round.”

“Nine days?” he echoes. “How did you…”

“I followed the south star,” you explain, gazing up at him. “And then a friend of ours found me, and led me the rest of the way here.”

“You’re welcome,” Sliseag adds.

Sawyer blinks for a second, processing. “You two never cease to surprise me.”

You laugh, the puff of breath visible in the air. “Him and I have an understanding.”

“Evidently so,” he agrees, finishing up.

You step outside, tilting your head up to watch the flakes fall. “Just like home.”

He smiles, tugging you closer. “Just like home,” he agrees, leaning his head down…

You put your hand in front of your mouth to stop him. “That’s not a good idea,” you squeak, your cheeks warming. 

He looks at you, confused and a little hurt.

“Sy, I’ve been camping for the last three days,” you prompt, embarrassed. “There weren’t any inns between here and Deaconshire.”

It dawns on him after a second. “Ah.”

“Yeah. So if there’s a bathtub and a sink in that castle back there, I’d like to use them.”

———————

He isn’t expecting you to start stripping so fast, but you’re so eager to be out of your dirty clothes and into the warm water that you don’t think about the fact that Sawyer is still standing there.

He whirls around as soon as he realizes.

“Facing the wall and closing your eyes? I’m almost a little offended,” you tease.

You can see how red his cheeks are in the mirror as he responds. “It’s called being respectful. I’m gonna find you some clean clothes. I’ll be back.”

You hum, letting your head tip back against the tiled wall. By the time Sawyer returns, you’ve washed up, and are just relaxing, enjoying the moment of peace. The warm water is so nice after the freezing cold weather outside, and besides the last week of traveling, you haven’t taken a real bath in two and a half years — showering at Basgiath just isn’t the same. 

“You about ready? It’s almost dinnertime, and you need to eat something.”

You whine in protest, sinking deeper into the water.

“Okay,” he concedes. “Five more minutes. But you’re gonna get all pruney.”

You wiggle your fingers at him playfully. “Oh, it’s too late. I’ve been pruned.”

He rolls his eyes. “What am I going to do with you?”

“C’mere,” you coax, sitting up a bit and resting your forearms on the edge of the tub, leaning toward him.

He settles onto the floor, at eye level with you.

“I brushed my teeth,” you tell him. “So I’m ready for that kiss now. Are you gonna do it, or should I—” Your sentence is interrupted with a soft whimper as he pulls you forward with a hand on your jaw, guiding you into a dizzying kiss. Water sloshes against the side of the tub as you rise up onto your knees, wanting him even closer, but you have to pull back for air. 

“Minty fresh,” he pronounces, brushing his nose against yours.

“Gods,” you breathe, “Why didn’t we do this earlier?”

“I have no idea. But we have the rest of our days to make up for it.”

It’s your turn to tug him forward. You bring a hand up to cradle his cheek, sending water droplets running down the side of his neck, but he doesn’t seem to mind, still entirely focused on you as the kiss gets deeper and deeper, making up for lost time.

He pulls back after a moment, and you whine softly, pouting up at him as he stands. “Dinner,” he reminds you gently. “We can pick this back up later tonight.”

That seems to appease you — there’s that mischievous little twinkle in your eye, the one he loves so much. “I’m holding you to that,” you warn.

“Please do,” he answers a little too quickly, holding out a thick towel and turning his gaze to the wall so you can get up.

“Averting your eyes again? Ouch.”

He reddens, still looking away. “If I see you naked right now, we won’t make it to dinner.”

You giggle, taking the towel from him and pressing a kiss to his flushed cheek. “You, Sawyer Henrick, are adorable.”

He clears his throat, gesturing to the pile on the counter and changing the subject. “I think these should fit.”

Black on black, of course. This castle… palace? fortress? is full of riders. At least it’s cotton fabric and not all leather — that would be a bitch to put on with wet skin.

You throw your still-dripping hair into an easy style; you’ll take the time to dry it and detangle and everything later. “This feels like a hallow’s eve costume. All I need is the jacket,” you joke, examining your reflection.

He shrugs his off, draping it over your shoulders, and your heart nearly stops. 

You’d had his tongue in your mouth not three minutes ago, but this somehow feels even more intimate — wearing his jacket, with his name over your heart, being wrapped in his scent and the warmth of his body that lingers on the fabric... Definitely against regulation, but so are a lot of things you’ve done in the last week, namely taking an unplanned and unsanctioned leave of absence from Basgiath with no real plans to return. 

You’ll deal with those consequences later. Maybe.

—————

You freeze at the sight of the group of people entering the hall, their brown uniforms and the quivers of arrows over their shoulders marking them as gryphon fliers. You’ve never seen one in person before. 

“It’s a very long story, but they’re on our side now,” Sawyer explains, but he still holds you a little closer anyway — it’s unclear if he doesn't fully trust them, or if he just wants to comfort you in the presence of the people you’d been taught to treat as enemies.

“That should not have been a surprise after everything else you told me,” you laugh, but the sight of them still makes you a little nervous. 

He stops at one of the long tables and drops a kiss to your forehead. “Sit. I’ll get you some real food.”

Rhiannon is the first to spot you. “I told you it had to be her!”

“I almost didn’t recognize you,” Violet says, wide eyed.

You laugh, settling into an open spot on the bench. “I feel like a little kid playing dress-up. But at least I don’t stick out so much anymore. The blue was a little…”

“I thought it was nice,” someone says quietly — a girl sitting next to Ridoc with a book open in front of her. You recognize her from the infirmary; he had brought her in one morning, covered in cuts and bruises. A little butterfly had fluttered around her the whole time, landing on your arm once as you worked.

You offer her a soft smile. “Glad to see you in one piece.”

“I hear you’re our newest healer,” someone greets — a man who looks a bit older than you. Your eyes catch on the Lieutenant Colonel insignia on his jacket, and then the mender’s patch. He must be the equivalent of Nolon around here.

“Yes, sir,” you answer shyly, suddenly a little embarrassed to be wearing someone else’s uniform. “Or one in training, anyway.”

“We’ll take what we can get. Come by the infirmary tomorrow, and we’ll get you started.” He pats Sawyer on the shoulder in passing, giving him a knowing smile. “Your squadmates can fill you in on what you missed this afternoon.”

Sawyer reddens. “Thank you, sir.”

You wait until he returns to the head table before you look back at Violet, wide-eyed. “Is that…”

She nods. “Officially, he isn’t. But yes, that’s my brother. How did you know?”

“You have the same smile. And the signet patch — Nolon talks about your brother all the time. He’s the best mender there’s been in a hundred years.”

“He’s pretty good,” she concedes. “Second only to Lieutenant Avan, but don’t tell him I said that.”

Your ears prick up at the mention of the girl. “Is she here too? How’s she doing?”

“You know her?” Ridoc’s girl asks, curious. 

You nod. “She came in all the time with Professor Carr to practice. Oh, I hated that guy. Poor girl always looked so uncomfortable around him, and he’d work her to the bone every time. I talked back to him once, telling him to let her stop before she keeled over, and I was sure that he’d get me in trouble for it, but he just gave me that creepy stare and left.”

“I know the one,” she says with a shudder. “He’s the worst.”

“Food,” Sawyer prods before you can reply, pushing the plate closer to you.

You roll your eyes at him, but you finally realize how hungry you are, tucking in to your first real meal in days — nothing fancy, just some kind of fish and vegetables and brown bread, but it’s much more appetizing than anything you’d had at any of those terrible inns in Deaconshire, and with much better company. You had to cut everything with one hand, the other under the table clutching Sawyer’s dagger to defend yourself against any of the other patrons, but praying that you wouldn’t have to. Mercifully, they’d all left you alone.

It feels like you’re back at school, crammed around one of the tiny tables at the tavern you’d frequented — the same laughter and easy chatter, as if you aren’t preparing for a war of proportion you don’t yet understand.

You keep up with the conversation for a little while, finishing your plate and resting your head on Sawyer’s shoulder for a moment, a gentle gesture of thanks. He wraps an arm around you, tucking you into his side as the squad continues to discuss several things that go in one ear and out the other, but are likely important to this effort — journals and runes and wards and the original six.

You can’t keep your eyes open. Now that you’ve reunited with Sawyer, gotten cleaned up and eaten something, the adrenaline has faded, and you just want to sleep for the next four days — in a real bed with real blankets, not a thin sleeping bag on the frozen ground.

“M’sorry,” you murmur. “Just really tired.”

He chuckles softly. “It’s okay, sweet girl. Let’s get you to bed.”

You bid everyone goodnight, trudging up endless flights of stairs to a barracks room that’s devoid of anything except a bed made up with plain sheets and the pack you’d taken from school. 

“Home sweet home,” he announces. “At least you don’t have a roommate. I get to deal with Ridoc twenty four hours a day now.”

You manage a laugh, kneeling down to look through your bag and setting a few things on the empty desk. “Now it’s home.”

He raises his eyebrows, amused. “Glad to see that your bunny made the cut when you were packing a bag to commit treason.”

“I wasn’t going to leave him behind after twenty years,” you defend, a little embarrassed.

“Understandable,” he offers. “Alright. You’ve got pajamas, bathroom’s down the hall, you have your key… you all set?” You nod in affirmation, and he kisses your forehead, giving you a soft hug before he turns toward the door. 

You whine softly, holding on a little longer. “You’re leaving?”

“I need to shower, but I can come back after, if you want.”

You cover a yawn with your hand. “That would be nice.”

“Alright. Get changed. I’ll be back.”

The door unlocking and the movement of the mattress under his weight stir you from your sleep. 

The bed is just barely big enough for the two of you, but you don’t mind, curling into his side and nuzzling your cheek into his shoulder. He’s warm, and the weight of his arms around you is soothing.

He presses a soft kiss to your forehead. “Get some rest. You’ve had a long week.”

[jesterscourt-e]

Do you have to let it linger? part 3

A/N: LFG ok this chapter is shorter because next chapter ya’ll… home stretch also I’m changing my formatting some I’m sorry I’m new to this yall.

CW: yearning, angst, arguing

Yesterday 2:00 am

Schlaggot made it home

3 missed calls

Schlaggot answer me bitch

5 missed calls

——-

A week later

You startle out of your dream from your phone hitting the floor and buzzing. You stir and try to slow your heart, blinding yourself with the phone screen.

Incoming call… Theodore

Accept Decline

————

“What?” You groan.

“You gotta tell me what happened,” a serious voice responds.

“What time is it?”

“4 am,” Ted responds plainly.

“Can it wait like 4 more hours?” You say putting it on speaker and laying the phone next to your pillow.

“No. Not a chance. I just got off the phone with a one Jonathan Schlatt, and I need to know now.”

“Ask him dude.”

“No man, I want to ask YOU.”

“Why though? you were just talking to him?”

“He was in a mood. I don’t like to pry when he gets like that, it just drives him away more.”

You could understand that. You knew what kind of mood he was referring to. When schlatt gets burnt out or depressed it’s totally shut off mode. When he’s done with something he’s DONE. He’s pretty candid with his surface feelings but there were deeper thoughts you knew he didn’t share with anyone.

“I don’t know what you want me to do.”

“Look y/n I know it’s not my business- no fuck that! These are my best friends, this is my business. Why haven’t you been answering calls or texts? total silence from you. Not just to schlatt but all of us,” as he points out the obvious, your tears break free towards your pillow. “What. Happened.” Ted demands now very sternly.

You explain to Ted how you and schlatt got hot and heavy too fast and you stopped him. How caring schlatt was, how understanding and supportive. How you’ve been trying to push your feelings for him away but you liked him more than he pretended to like you online to the audience. You realized you weren’t joking anymore and when schlatt said he wanted to remain friends you needed to put some distance. That meant total radio silence for a while to get over your feelings.

“I really do like him. And he just doesn’t feel the same. And I was stupid for thinking the joke could be real. I thought I was invincible to it and like I couldn’t fall for someone again but no. Here I am. I have feelings for a guy with fucking mutton chops,” you borderline yell at the end. You sigh after a couple beats of silence, “I’m glad we didn’t go further though cuz then I’d really feel like a fucking fool.” You weren’t crying anymore, just mad.

“Well, maybe you can explain this to Schlatt, so he doesn’t think you’re mad at him,” Ted says after a while.

“I am mad at him!” You pause hearing Ted’s confusion, “He just doesn’t know why… and I’m not really mad at him. Just upset? Ugh dude I don’t fucking know.” You shove your face in your pillow and scream.

“Well feel the feelings you need to, but I think if you care about schlatt you’ll tell him you just need space or like your goldfish died or something I don’t know, man. Just communicate.”

“Ok…” you say, sighing.

“I love you buddy. It’s gonna be alright.”

“Yeah I know, just sucks.”

“For what it’s worth, I do think Schlatt cares about you. I don’t know why he decided to friendzone you-“

“Ew don’t say that word.”

“Whatever. Come over this weekend let’s go do some shit and get you out of this funk,” He says wrapping up the call. Agreeing with Ted you hang up and pass out again.

——

You get up later in the morning and decide to stream today. You hadn’t streamed since the schlatt stream because you didn’t want to endure the bombardment of chat. It figures that you did an in person stream with Schlatt right before you guys established your relationship as friends so now the whole community thinks you guys are a thing. Of fucking course.

The week had been full of working out and going into the dance studio to work on dancing videos. you distracted yourself with coming up with new video ideas and choreo to do. You focused on the work that didn’t involve schlatt at all to help your creative flow.

You set up your piano, your computer, microphone, etc. putting your lights on and getting into the headspace. You hadn’t decided if you were going to do an album breakdown, just play some covers, or watch videos. You knew at the very least you could give them an update of upcoming projects.

As you set up the tweet, the “stream starting” screen, and messaged a couple mods, you grabbed your guitar and held it idly. You could feel the hesitation in your body. You felt heavy now trying to work up the courage and energy to turn the camera on. You hadn’t been particularly depressed about the whole situation, just numb. Seeing the chats roll through however started to form a brick in your throat. You finally sighed and pulled the trigger.

“Chat,” you started immediately, “no schlatt today. Let’s get that out of the way,” you gesture around the room. “So, I’ve been busy this week in the studio, I haven’t had a second to breathe.” (Lie) “and I want to give you guys 10 minutes to ask schlatt questions then we’re gonna move on,” you continue.

You start reading chat as you speak, “and after the ten minutes is up if you mention Schlatt you’re gonna be in a timeout the rest of the stream.”

what?????

Omfg you and schlatt are so cute

Hey y/n! where’s Schlatt?

Do you live with him now?

Are you guys dating?

Omg did something happen?

Why no schlatt

“Ok, Schlatt went home that same day we streamed, so no we don’t live together and no we aren’t dating. I don’t know what to tell you guys other than that Schlatt and I really are just friends,” you finish as the chats keep coming.

You feel your phone vibrate next to you and subtly look to see who it is.

Of course. Schlatt. calling again.

You put your phone on DND and keep reading the chats. As you read you get a couple TTS.

“Hey y/n, you and schlatt have great chemistry, do you have a crush on him? All the love!”

“Hey thanks oopygoopy, no I don’t have a crush on Schlatt.”

The next TTS

“Answer your phone bitch.”

Schlatt again. This time he donated to the stream.

You ignore him and message a mod to tell them to put him in time out for the rest of the stream while chat freaks out.

“Alright chat we’re gonna get started. I want to do an album review today…” you ignore chat and start up a new album to listen to with chat and discuss the themes and harmonies. You really just needed a couple more hours to figure out what to say to schlatt.

——

After 3 hours, an album review, and some keyboard breakdowns of the harmonies, you decide to wrap up the stream, “guys, I’m done. I’ll be on tomorrow with some covers and requests! Thank you for all the love, bye!”

You make sure the stream is shut down and pick up your phone.

4 missed calls

You click it to call schlatt back.

Ring

Ring

Ring

Connecting….

Schlatt’s ceiling pops up on screen.

“Hey.” You say after a couple moments of silence.

“Really?” You hear from off screen. “A week of nothing and you say hey?” You can hear him chewing on something.

“I’m sorry.”

Awkward silence, followed by rustling and chewing.

“JAMBO STOP,” more rustling. “JAMBOOOO”

The camera shifts, you can’t help but laugh. You stop yourself by leaning your mouth in your hand.

“So what’d I do?” He asks casually, his eyebrows come into frame.

“Nothing. It’s not you,” you start before he interrupts.

“No don’t fucking start with me. What did I do? You’re ignoring me.”

“To be fair I’ve been ignoring everyone.”

“Yeah but you’ve been ignoring me.”

“You’re not special,” you say, rolling your eyes.

“Yes I am. Don’t fuck with me y/n.” He was joking around a little but you could tell he was genuinely hurt and pissed.

“I just needed some space. I think I've been a little burnt out is all.”

Silence. You shift uncomfortably as he continues to chew on the invisible food.

“Is it because I kissed you?” Schlatt says bluntly.

“No, just forget it dude.” you sigh and shake your head. It was hard to come up with an excuse other than just telling him about your feelings.

“Well everything was fine until after the wedding so-“

“Dude fucking drop it ok? I just need some space.”

“I’m sorry that I did that,” he says.

Silence this time with no chewing.

“It’s not about the kiss, schlatt.” You sighed, “I’m not sorry it happened. I wanted it to happen.” Your stomach churned and you felt your heart pumping in your ears.

“It was pretty hot,” schlatt finally scoffs.

“That’s not what I mean!”

“Spit it out then, toots.”

“I liked it, I've wanted you to kiss me for years. Because I have a big fat crush on you,” you spit out.

Silence, schlatt’s face mostly on screen at this point. He had a look of disbelief spread across it, his eyes darting all over the screen.

“You’re fucking with me?” He responds.

All you can do is shake your head.

“I didn’t want to say anything because I don’t want this to ruin our friendship because I know you don’t feel the same. And I really care about our friendship more than my stupid crush on you. And I can’t keep enduring your fake flirting it fucking sucks,” your word vomit spilling out now. “And I thought if I put distance between us I could get over it and then we could just go back to being friends again.”

“You decided to ignore me? That’s not distance. You don’t fucking know how I feel, why would you assume-“ he stops himself and throws his phone down, his face disappears from the screen and you two sit in silence for a long time. “God you can be so stupid.” He says exasperated.

“Fucking whatever dude. I just figured I’d tell you the truth so you’d leave me the fuck alone. I gotta go.” You suddenly hang up before he can respond. You throw your phone down in anger. You were done being tortured in this way. It hurt. You didn’t know if it was the right choice to just tell him but it was out there now. You didn’t know how you wanted him to respond, but it wasn’t like that. He didn’t have to be such an asshole.

—-

He doesn’t text, he doesn’t call. You text Ted and tell him what happened and when he tries to call you don’t answer. It’s hard enough not to cry as it is, if you talk to Ted right now there’s no way you won’t.

You sit down with your guitar and start to idly play without thinking, you play linger by the cranberries. As you play your chest gets tight and your tears break free.

Oh, I thought the world of you

I thought nothing could go wrong

But I was wrong, I was wrong

If you, if you could get by

Trying not to lie

Things wouldn't be so confused

And I wouldn't feel so used

But you always really knew

I just want to be with you

You feel it all finally. You worked so hard to resist feeling feelings for someone for so long. Scared of what happened before. Having feelings for someone makes you weak and easier to break. You used music to express your feelings and tried to seal them off the rest of the time. This time they seeped out after the end of the song as you cried openly.

—-

For the past two weeks you streamed yourself doing covers, learning songs, or in the dance studio coming up with choreo. The feelings coming out in the art. You played covers of songs you and schlatt listened to on streams trying not to tear up. You let yourself feel a little more openly in front of the audience. They may have been catching on, but if they were you were good at ignoring them. In between streams you worked on recording videos, wrote lyrics and worked on some songs you had been working on for a while. It was a creatively productive time.

You had put schlatt’s messages and calls on silence, but it didn’t matter because he didn’t try to message you. You tried not to notice. Of course you noticed. You hoped maybe he would call and try to say sorry or fix what he had done but he hadn’t. It made you mad to be honest. You tried not to stalk his profiles to see what he was doing but he was silent for the most part on that end too.

Ted on the other hand was messaging constantly. Well as much as he could, he was working on a video and was distracted. Every night he would call though and chat even if he was just on call while editing. He was trying to be supportive. You appreciated how much Ted cared but didn’t overstep. When you initially told Ted what happened after the call he was confused. He didn’t understand why Schlatt reacted the way he did. You didn’t either to be fair. You did feel bad for ignoring him instead of communicating, but because of the way he reacted you felt justified in a way.

As Friday rolled around, and your stream was done for the day, you drove home from the dance studio to shower. You were feeling in high spirits for a change and stopped for food on your way home. When you got home you decided you were going to relax, watch tv, and just do some self care. You hadn’t been taking very good care of yourself and felt like doing your brows and a face mask might help. Maybe even do your nails. The night was young. You even decided to drink a little. As you bundled up under your blankets on the couch watching some comedy you heard a knock on your door.

You got off your couch and set down your drink. Before you walked to the door you inspected yourself. You had sweatpants and a tank top on, hair up and glasses on. You grab a zip up hoodie near the door and throw it on. Nothing fancy, but you figured you should cover up a little more.

As you made your way to the door you put your ear up to see if you could hear who it was, silence on the other end refused to betray the visitor so you slowly opened the door.

Schlatt standing in the hall looked at you sheepishly as you peered out. You suddenly swung the door open all the way to stare at the tall man in shock. He was wearing a crewneck, dark pants, and the classic cap. He had a duffel over his arm and headphones around his neck. Despite his towering height he was cowering.

“Hey.”

“Hey?” You questioned. “What are you doing here?” You asked plainly. Your heart speeding up nevertheless, you could feel the words getting caught in your throat as you spoke.

“Came to see you. Can I come in?”

[crescenthistory]

There is no safe space to cause detriment to. You are all so destructive in just how you are that there is no safety here. You’ve all got such mortal flaws. You, Carina, are so stupid and unlovable it’s causing the deaths of all those around you. Don’t you think your friends would be alive if you had been smart enough to check in on them? Both the little sister and your old best friend. I see what you write. Don’t you think your aunt would be alive if you were worth staying for? You aren’t. Same for Elle, she’s so arrogant and narcissistic. Had she been able to see those around her, her niece surely wouldn’t have died. It’s her fault, really. This poor “Sagittarius queen” is forever doomed to have her memory dragged through the mud by Elle. And anyone who knows Keke probably want to blow their brains out, too. Who could blame them!

this post goes out to the fucked up person wreaking havoc in our community with these asks that i and many others have been getting for a few weeks. this is me officially telling you to fuck off. you are vile. you are so so vile.

i know it won’t change anything, but i’m also tired of receiving them silently and choosing peace.

you are so despicably obsessed and — as you rightfully said to elle — cruel. i could write a hundred paragraphs about it. i have blocked you everywhere for a reason, your insistence to keep coming back is an excellent reflection of who you are. first you love me and want to protect me from people who haven’t even hurt me in the first place — then you decide to be the one inflicting pain?

none of these are okay. you are not okay.

if you think people are being cruel to me by what??? literally what?? not following me? not being my friend in the way you think they should? then what the fuck do you think you’re getting out of messages like these. you said at one point that “you’ve made people hate me” — if that was your goal, you have failed, because all they do is hate you.

i am so glad i am a stable individual with a good support system around me. i sincerely hope everyone else you’re harassing also has that, because despite what you insist, they are wonderful people. no one deserves this.

you genuinely are a dangerous individual. i will keep blocking and reporting you until you go away. i just had to say my fucking piece because i refuse to be used and stepped on like this and have my loved ones be spoken about like this.

from the bottom of my heart, go fuck yourself.

[melobin]

it’s our one year anniversary!! and it’s absolutely surreal to me how much we’ve grown over the past year. i love melobin so much, i adore being here and i adore being able to share things with all of you and i can’t wait to share more of the things i have planned !!

the past year has definitely been a little rocky LFMAO i’ve been through three url changes and more than one silly ot6 accusation exposing post but i’m still here ! and i’m still adoring and supporting riize as a whole. it’s been a few years since I’ve found myself as in love with a group as i am with riize and im so incredibly grateful that i got to meet so many wonderful people because of them. from mutuals to anons to just people who interact with my blog, i really adore and appreciate you all, more than i can express in words. i’ve taken a few breaks in the past year, all mental health related but you’ve all been so understanding and i cannot thank you enough for that.

it’s quite overwhelming that melobin has gained over 3.7k followers in the past year, i never really expected much other than a few people to talk to when i first started my blog but im so happy with the little community we’ve created here and i can’t wait for it to continue 🥺 i truly adore you all.

the melody and friends discord server has been a highlight of melobin for me !! i love that server and everyone i’ve met through it, i wanted to create a community that was welcoming and comforting and friendly and i truly believe i’ve done that.

not to be too soppy but there’s definitely some people i’d like to personally thank for being here this past year.

@kkurokitty my jaye !! i love you and everything you do so much. you were there when i first created melobin, we had our little taerae pfps and urls 😭 things have definitely changed a lot since then but you’re since as wonderful as the day we met all those years ago and im so thankful to have you.

@leejeongz amy ☹️ not even god knows how much you mean to me. everyday we speak i feel like we’re closer even if we’re a whole train ride apart. having you back in my life has been one of the best things to ever happen to me and i can’t wait to see you again. manifesting riize come to the UK soon so we can go and see them together. forever the moon to my stars 💔 i love you so bad :(.

@rishimuras melomiu <3 i’m so glad tals forced you to join my server the day it was created. it’s insane to me that we’ve been friends for almost a year now because i still feel like the same girl who was scared to message you whilst also feeling like ive known you for years. you’ve been a big part of melobin and my life for the past few months and i adore you so much. i only ever wish you the best and im more than ready to take on anyone who threatens that. i love you !!

@01zfan parter in crime i fear … the only person im honoured to lose 100 lp with in one day after spam playing tft with our little duckbills and dowsies. i was your biggest fan before we ever spoke and i remember almost doing a (metaphorical) backflip when i found out you already followed me 😭 your writing has changed me as a person and im so thankful to have become friends with you over the past few months. we fight the ot6 accusations together and we get you to plat SOON. i love you !! 💖

@tsandoll bunny !!!!!!!!! i love you !! you’ve been such a support for me with melobin and i can’t thank you enough! i love our little roblox games and the amount of shit we talk, i’m always laughing whenever we talk it’s almost impossible not to. you understand my humour so much and even when you don’t you still laugh .. true friend !!! i really hope soon you can feel better and feel like yourself again, i love you 💗

@sonjuyeonnie i wish i knew what blog to tag .. my fake text proof reader .. but seo i love you you’ve been such a sweetheart to me since you joined my server and i’ve been nothing but proud of you since then. you’ve accomplished so much and im so happy to see you thriving in life. i know we haven’t been able to talk much lately because of work but never forget how much i adore you and how im always here 💖

with some other people .. @antoncore my cee, you’ve grown so much in the few months we’ve known each other and i’m forever proud of you and i can’t wait to watch you grow more, i love you !! … @bbina my smau queen, btl changed me as a person and i’ll always support you in every smau you write even if i don’t know the idol you’re just TOO good. you’re so lovely and sweet and funny i luv yewww !! … @wonbin-truther the prettiest girl !! you’re so sweet and funny and so so talented, your sohee smau was pure GOLD i loved every second of it and i love seeing you pop up in my dms with the most random message, i fear i love you so bad 💔

there’s definitely others and i do adore all my mutuals so much !!! you all mean so much to me and i can’t wait for melobin to grow more. to one year and many more ! 💖

[i-like-forcefem]

17:00

“Hi darling!!! Congrats on the big win!!! I’m so so proud of you! I know you have to get a flight at 22:00 but I thought we could get dinner at my place to celebrate!”

16:30

“Here we are! Just make yourself at home cutie, you’ve worked more then hard enough for the day, give me your luggage too I’ll make sure it stays properly safe!”

17:00

“I hope you enjoy lasagna! It’s the only thing I know how to make… what do you mean it tastes a little odd? No i didn’t put anything special in there, being a winner really makes you paranoid doesn’t it?”

17:15

“Oh I’m so sorry dear! I ruined all your clothes! I feel so bad! I’m such a kluts! I shouldn’t be allowed near any glasses. Finish up the last bite of your lasagna and go take a shower hun! I’ll make sure desert is ready when you leave”

17:30

“Oh hun you need some clothes? Well you can borrow some of mine if you want!”

“What do you mean you gave me your luggage? No you didn’t? You told me you left it at the apartment? I know you’re in a big high right now after today, but it’s really making you very forgetful”

“Here throw your old clothes through the door and I’ll give you some of mine!”

“Oh honey of course it’s a skirt! I don’t own any pants! Sorry, would you rather have a dress?”

“You look so lovely dear!!! Oh I knew this would look amazing on you I’m so glad to be right!”

“Plan this? Of course not! Please stop being so suspicious, here I understand that you’d rather no one sees you like this so do you want to give me your room keys so I can go get your luggage?”

“Honey we’ve been over this I don’t have your luggage!”

“Alright good! I’ll be right back dear!”

20:00

“I’m sorry dear, I couldn’t find it! I know, I know, I’m sorry, I really looked everywhere believe me!!! You’re sure you didn’t leave it in transit somewhere?”

“I know dear, you are a klutz, but that’s okay!”

“Listen I know you’d rather not go on a plane dressed this cutely, but I don’t think you have any choice right now! Your baggage will turn up later!”

“I have an idea! What if I do your make up and style your hair? Then I’m sure no one will recognise you! They’ll only see a beautiful girl!”

“Put some trust in me dear! I know what I’m doing!”

21:00

“There we go! I must say I’m proud of myself! Take a look at yourself!”

“I know right??? You make such a beautiful girl! You’ll be turning so many heads at the airport!!! And best of all we finished on 22:00 on the dot, the perfect time for to leave and get your plane!”

“What do you mean the planes leaves at 22:00? I thought you just had to leave at 22:00!!! No dear you don’t understand I never bothered to update the clocks time for daylight savings! It’s an hour forward!”

“Oh I am so sorry honey!!! If only you communicated better!!! Now you’re lost here in a country where you don’t speak the language without any luggage for at least another week…”

“But don’t worry! I’ll let you stay here for that time! I’m sure we can get to know each other a lot better in that time!”

“What do you say cutie?”

“Good Girl”

“Huh? No I didn’t say anything, you must be imaging things again, let’s watch a movie and then get to bed dear, I’ll make sure you’ll enjoy your time here!”

[bloomzone]

can u please make a how to improve urself ^^ also I love ur acc so much and u bring me so much peace at mind ^^

Thank you so much for appreciating my account! Your support truly means a lot to me, and I’m so glad my content brings you peace >⁠.⁠<. so first Self-improvement doesn’t have to be overwhelming. No pressure just small thoughtful steps. You don’t have to change everything at once ofc Take your time and choose one category each month to work on. Remember, it’s all about progress, not perfection. You’re on your own journey and every little step counts. And u can create other categories that align with ur needs !

before we start here's 5 questions to ask urself before starting this journey

1. Why do I want to improve myself?

What is my true motivation for making a change?

2. What areas of my life do I want to focus on?

Which specific aspects of my life do I want to improve first?

3. What are my strengths, and how can I use them?

How can I leverage my strengths to make this journey easier?

4. What are my current obstacles or limiting beliefs?

What challenges or beliefs might be holding me back from improvement?

5. Am I ready to be patient and consistent?

Am I prepared to stay consistent and trust the process, even when it's hard?

1. Emotional Regulation

Emotional regulation is about controlling your emotions and responding to situations in a calm, rational way, even when you’re stressed or angry.

How to improve:

Identify triggers: Start by recognizing what sets off your emotional responses. Is it a person, a situation, or something in your environment?

Pause before reacting: When you feel your emotions rising, take a deep breath or count to 10 before reacting.

Practice mindfulness: Engage in regular mindfulness activities like meditation or deep breathing exercises to help you stay present and manage emotions.

Express emotions healthily: Instead of bottling up feelings, learn how to express them through journaling or talking to someone you trust.

2. Building Consistency

Consistency is key to turning any habit into something sustainable. Whether it’s exercise, work, or personal development, consistency helps you progress.

How to improve:

Start small: Begin with manageable goals. For example, if you’re trying to work out, aim for just 10-15 minutes a day.

Create routines: Build habits by attaching them to something you already do. For example after brushing ur teeth do a quick stretch ect ..

Track progress: Use a habit tracker or journal to monitor your consistency and reward yourself for sticking with it.

Don’t be too hard on yourself: If you miss a day or slip up, don’t give up entirely. Get back on track the next day without guilt.you will be disciplined

3. Self-Awareness

Self-awareness is the ability to understand your thoughts, emotions, behaviors, and how they affect others. It’s essential for personal growth and development.

How to improve:

Daily reflection: Spend 5 minutes each day thinking about how you felt and acted. What went well? What could you improve?

Ask for feedback: Don’t be afraid to ask close friends or family how they perceive you, and listen to their feedback with an open mind.

Practice mindfulness: Regularly engage in activities that help you stay present, like meditation or journaling. This helps you observe your thoughts without judgment.

Notice patterns: Pay attention to recurring thoughts or behaviors that might need to change. Are you always reacting negatively in certain situations? What triggers it? It's soooo normal !

4. Setting Boundaries

Setting healthy boundaries is about knowing when to say no and protecting your energy they are essential to maintaining your mental health and relationships.

How to improve:

Identify your limits: Think about situations or behaviors that drain you emotionally or physically. These are your boundaries.

Communicate clearly: When you feel your boundaries are being crossed, calmly assert yourself. You don’t have to be rude, just firm and clear.

Learn to say no: Saying no isn’t selfish; it’s necessary for your well-being. Practice politely declining things that don’t serve your best interests.

Protect your time: Be mindful of how you spend your time. If something or someone consistently takes more than they give, it’s okay to step back.

5. Productivity Without Burnout

Being productive doesn’t mean being busy all the time. It’s about working smarter, not harder, and allowing yourself rest to avoid burnout.

How to improve:

Prioritize your tasks: Use the Eisenhower Matrix (urgent vs. important) to decide which tasks need your attention now and which can wait.

Break tasks into chunks: Divide big tasks into smaller, more manageable steps. This makes them feel less overwhelming and easier to tackle.

Take breaks: Use techniques like the Pomodoro Technique—work for 25 minutes, then take a 5-minute break. It helps keep your mind fresh.

Don’t multitask: Focus on one task at a time for better efficiency and mental clarity.

6. Self-Care & Rest

Self-care is essential for maintaining both mental and physical health it’s about honoring your body and mind’s need for rest and nourishment.

How to improve:

Sleep: Aim for 7 to 9 hours of sleep every night. Sleep is critical for physical health, mental clarity, and emotional balance. (It's not easy to have a full 8h or 9h of sleep but at least u need to wake up next day feeling good !)

Take mental health days: Don’t hesitate to take a break when you need it. Mental rest is just as important as physical rest to also avoid burnout

Nourish your body: Eat balanced meals with whole foods. Drink plenty of water to stay hydrated. Your body will thank you for it. Cuz drinking water help to avoid headaches

Have fun: Engage in activities you love, whether it’s reading, cooking, painting, or just relaxing with a good movie...

7. Improving Social Skills

Good social skills can help you build relationships, collaborate, and feel more connected. Being social doesn’t mean u HAVE to be extravored but it means knowing how to connect with others.

How to improve:

Active listening: Practice listening more than you speak. Show interest in what others say by making eye contact, nodding, and responding thoughtfully.

Be genuinely curious: Ask open-ended questions that encourage conversation. Show a genuine interest in others' experiences and perspectives.

Be authentic: Don’t try to fit into a mold. Let people see the real you and be honest about your thoughts and feelings.

Practice empathy: Put yourself in others’ shoes. Understand their emotions and reactions to build stronger connections.

8. Resilience

Resilience is your ability to bounce back from challenges, disappointments, or failures. It’s not about avoiding hardship, but about navigating through it with strength and grace.

How to improve:

Change your perspective: Instead of seeing challenges as obstacles, view them as opportunities for growth. What can you learn from this?

Develop a support system: Surround yourself with supportive people who encourage you during tough times.

Practice self-compassion: Be kind to yourself when things go wrong. Understand that setbacks are a natural part of the journey.

Keep going, no matter what: Sometimes, the best thing you can do is keep moving forward, even if it’s just one small step at a time.

9. Time Management & Planning

Time management it’s being intentional with how you use your time and energy.

How to improve:

Use a planner or digital tool: Write down your tasks, appointments, and goals for the week. This will help you stay organized and on track.

Set specific, realistic goals: Don’t overestimate what you can do. Be realistic about what can be achieved within a day or week.

Eliminate distractions: Find ways to stay focused by limiting distractions—turn off notifications, create a quiet workspace, or use website blockers.

Evaluate your progress: At the end of each week, review what you’ve accomplished and adjust your schedule accordingly it will keep u motivated

10. Financial Management (Simple Basics)

You don’t need to be an expert to improve your financial habits. It’s about getting into the practice of managing your money wisely.

How to improve:

Track your spending: Write down where your money goes each month. Understanding your spending habits is the first step to managing your finances.

Set a budget: Allocate a certain amount for savings, bills, and personal expenses each month. Stick to it.

Save a little at a time: Even if you can only save a small amount, start. Create a savings habit so that it becomes second nature.

Avoid impulse purchases: Before buying something, ask yourself if it’s necessary. Give yourself time to think before making a purchase.

this glow up list can also help u !! [click here]

@bloomzone

[fushigurokogane]

Okay, so, I was thinking that since Megumi is really bad at expressing his feelings and emotions verbally that he is really good at expressing his feelings by writing them? He writes poetry or reader teaches him how to write poetry bc they notice he struggles to express himself verbally and figure it would be a good way for him to get his feelings out. Maybe his first poem is about his feelings for reader?? I am such a simp! I love Megumi! This is just something I've been thinking about for a while. I love your Megumi writing and was hoping you might use this. You don't have to if you don't want to. Love ya!♡

Awwww, I LOVE this idea so much! It's such a beautiful way to explore Megumi's character, especially since he's often shown as someone who struggles to communicate his emotions directly. The idea of him using poetry as an outlet is perfect!! It allows him to express things he can't say out loud. Here's a little something where Megumi works through his feelings and confesses then to the reader, with the a poem he wrote. ITS IN FREE VERSE STYLE BC I CANT RHYME.

Megumi stood there, nervously fidgeting with the folded piece of paper in his hands. His heart raced in a way he didn’t quite understand. He never thought he’d actually go through with it, but somehow, when he saw you sitting there, the words, his words, felt like the only thing that made sense.

He didn’t look at you directly as he handed the poem over, the paper crinkling slightly in his grip, but his gaze was soft, almost… vulnerable. He cleared his throat, a small and uncharacteristic gesture of his discomfort.

"Here," he said, his voice quieter than usual. "I…uh, I wrote this." You unfolded the paper slowly, eyes scanning each line, reading the words he’d put down so carefully. His heart seemed to beat faster with every second you took in silence. Megumi watched you, unsure whether you were going to say anything, do anything.

- Unspoken Words - I’ve never been good with words, never knew how to say what I mean, but I’ve spent too many nights thinking about you, watching you laugh, or simply being near you, and I can’t hold it back anymore.

There’s something about the way you look at me, like you see past all the walls I’ve built, like you know I don’t know how to ask for what I need— but still, you stay.

It’s a quiet thing, this feeling that’s been growing, something I didn’t know I was missing until it was there, until I realized it was you.

I don’t know what this means, or what I’m supposed to do with it, but I know it’s real, and I can’t hide it anymore.

So, here it is— simple, no grand gestures, just me, saying it in the only way I can: I care about you. More than I ever expected to. More than I thought I could.

And I don’t know where this goes, but I’d like to find out.

As you finished reading, the silence between you both felt different—quieter, but not uncomfortable. It was as if the air had shifted, filled with the weight of what Megumi had finally let out. His eyes lingered on you, and for a brief second, you saw a rare vulnerability there—a side of him that he didn't often show.

You closed the paper gently and looked up at him, unsure if you'd ever see him this uncertain again. "Megumi..." you began, but your voice trailed off as you searched for the right words, not wanting to rush what had just been shared.

He shifted on his feet, the tension in his shoulders still evident despite the softness in his gaze. "I... I don't know what happens now," he muttered, his words more to himself than to you. "I just couldn't keep it in anymore."

You took a step closer, your heart softening at the sight of him—his effort, his honesty, the way he stood there, waiting for something you weren’t sure he even believed he deserved. And maybe you didn’t have all the answers yet, but one thing was clear: he needed to hear it.

"I’m glad you told me," you said, your voice steady, reassuring. "You don't always have to have all the answers, Megumi. We’ll figure it out, together."

For the first time in a long while, his lips curved into a faint, almost shy smile. The kind of smile that felt like the beginning of something real, something that he’d never been sure he deserved—but now, with you, maybe he was starting to believe it.

He nodded slightly, the weight lifting from his chest. "Yeah," he said, his voice softer than before. "Yeah, I guess we will."

And as you stood there together, the future didn’t seem as uncertain anymore. Whatever came next, you both knew that this was just the start of something new.

I hope this REALLY captures the moment of megumi finally finding the courage to confess his feelings, and the vulnerability in him doing so through poetry! Anywayyyy i hope you enjoyed love, and make sure to stay hydrated and healthy!! BAI BAIII <333 love, ✭ Nika ✭

[katherines-imagines]

“Don’t be a skxawng, just ask her.” Part 2

pairings: neteyam x reader

warnings: cute, fluff, bad writing

key: skxawng - moron, muntxa - mate, yawne - dear/my love

summary: Neteyam tries to talk to Y/n, but the awkward teenagers don’t communicate well.

After talking with his parents, Neteyam was determined to finally ask the girl he loved to be his mate.

As Neteyam searched for her, he daydreamed about what it would be like to have her as his mate.

Obviously the same, Neteyam thought to himself. I suppose some kissing.

Neteyam stopped in his tracks at this revelation.

He would get to kiss her.

His tail, out of his control, started wagging, thumping the floor in delight.

When he had caught himself in the act, he quickly collected his thoughts and continued walking.

When he finally spotting the girl he was searching for, his heart stopped.

She was petting the Ikran who were being fed, grinning happily.

Neteyam could feel his breath quicken, looking at the beauty he hoped to call his lover one day.

Said girl snapped him out of his thoughts when she had noticed and called him over.

Clearing his throat, he walked over to the girl, hoping to seem confident.

Sadly, his walk seemed as though he was limping, so when he was in front of the girl, she immediately grabbed him and started looking for any wounds.

Confused, Neteyam asked, “What are you doing?”

Missing the blush on his face, she simply answered, “Looking for a wound.”

“What wound,” he asked in a small voice, the lack of space between the two flustering hun.

“You’re limping, are you not?” The girl finally looked up from her search.

Blushing, though this time in embarrassment, Neteyam cleared his voice to explain.

“No, no, I am not limping. Sorry.”

Y/n looked at him in confusion, but laughed it off, slowly turning back to pet the Ikran.

“So, what are you doing here,” she asks, sliding her hands down the Ikran’s wings.

“I have something to ask you,” Neteyam says with uncertainty.

“Yes,” Y/n answers, her eyes remaining on the Ikran’s.

“Y/n, I need you to look at me when I ask you, it is important.”

Concerned, Y/n turns, pausing her actions of petting the Ikran to look at the boy.

The girl places her hand on his forearm, worried eyes catching it gaze.

“What is it ‘Teyam?”

Flustered, Neteyam looks down, not prepared to get Y/n’s full attention.

“It, it is not bad,” Neteyam tries fo start out before he hears the girls sigh of relief.

He softly smiles to himself, tail slightly and subtly thumping as he hears the girls concern for him.

Waiting for Neteyam fo continue, Y/n slides her arm from his forearm to his hand, softly rubbing her thumb against his rough, calloused hand.

Neteyam, finally having the guts to look up, stares straight into her eyes, making the teenage girl gulp.

“You know you are so kind ma Y/n.”

Y/n blushes and looks down, while Neteyam smirks, glad that this time it was not he who was flustered, but her.

“I- I really am not,” she tries to protest, but Neteyam shuts her down as fast as she had begun.

“No, you are, and do not tell me you are not. If anyone tells you that you are not, they are idiots. Blind, ugly, jealous skxawng‘s who can never compare to you.”

As Neteyam continued his rant, Y/n stared up at him and blushed.

She blushed hard.

Hearing the talented, generous, kind son known as the son of Toruk Makto speak in such admiration had her flustered and her heart was beating harder than it already was when she saw him walk towards her.

When Neteyam finally noticed her staring at him, he paused, flushing as he stared down.

The two awkward teenagers looked at the ground, feelings swirling all around the two, just bursting to come out.

Before either could get a word in, there was a call for the girl to head home.

Sadly, the girl turned to the boy who’s face had fallen at the call.

“I am sorry ma ‘Teyam, I must return home,” she whispered sadly.

Frustrated, yet understanding, he answered, “S’okay, I should probably be heading back as well.”

While both has agree they had to go, they stayed right where they were, before Y/n had taken a small step forward.

Y/n quickly went on her tiptoes and gave him a quick peck on his cheek.

“I am sorry you could not ask what you wanted to, but tomorrow you can,” she shyly said glancing up at him.

Blushing harshly, he looked down at her and gave a big grin.

“Of course, yawne.”

The girl blushed at the term of endearment, and began walking backwards to leave.

“W-well, I should go now,” she said, quickly turning only to be hit by a tree.

Neteyam gasped and took a step forward to help her, when she shot up and called out, “I’m fine, bye now,” and scrambled away.

The boy couldn’t help but chuckle at the clumsy girl, and gazed longingly at the girls retreating figure with love.

He would tell her, hopefully tomorrow. Till then, he would wait.

For as long as he had to.

———————————————————————

Bonus:

When Neteyam had returned to his families tent, his mother and father were looking at him expectantly.

“So? Did you ask her,” his father asked.

“Not yet, but I will tomorrow,” Neteyam quietly answered.

Both parents let out a hiss of frustration. How could their son be so damn stupid?

“This is your fault,” Neytiri yelled at her husband.

“Mine? It’s not my fault the kids a stupid skxawng. In fact, I told him specifically: ‘Don’t be a skxawng, just ask her.’ How hard is it to interpret that?”

Neytiri groaned in frustration, turning to her son.

“You better ask the girl tomorrow or else,” Neytiri threatened.

Neteyam gulped and nodded, headed towards his sleeping area to try and come up with a plan.

As he walked away, Lo’ak entered the tent snickering with Kiri.

“Did you see them? God he couldn’t man up and just ask her,” Lo’ak laughed.

Kiri went to her older brother’s defense.

“He tried, he can’t help that he’s a skxawng.”

Lo’ak continued to laugh as Kiri mumbled under her breath about how Neteyam will eventually man up.

Neteyam, from his bed, heard Kiri’s and Lo’ak’s conversation and groaned to himself.

Now he couldn’t back out, he had to ask Y/n.

Tomorrow.

———————————————————————

A/N: Oh my gosh thank you guys so much for the love on the first part!! People asked for a Part 2, so here it is! If you want to be tagged on the 3rd part, just comment.

Thank’s so much again 🫶

asked to be tagged: @mommyneytiri @marcswife21

[twig-tea]

Twig's GL Recs for March-July 2024

[Here’s my rec list for GLs through to Feb 2024 ]

Fake Buddies Korean, YouTube, 7 episodes (one ep BL, one ep GL, one ep crossover, and then 2 more BL prequel eps and two more GL prequel episodes), approx 45 minutes when compiled, Apr 27-Jun 28 2024

At first this was a little three-part series in which it turns out both members of the couple are secretly in a homosexual relationship with their best friends and using the other as a beard. Lots of comedy of errors and puns (“I like lilies better than roses”) as the characters try to make each other understand the situation they’re in. The backstory prequels were really cute friends to lovers, and it was really nice to see these couples land in solidarity! This series is short and cute and pure fluff.  

To the X Who Hated Me: YunO x Jane Korean, YouTube, 3 episodes ~6 mins each, aired May 22-29 [microseries complete, X who hated me series may be ongoing]

When the previous 2-ep miniseries under this umbrella landed (which I wrote about here: ), I had no idea it was going to be a series of microseries! These are all short but good second chance romances. This one has a “reality”-show-within-a-show format, with a frustrating misunderstanding, and a good kiss. Be sure to always watch past the credits for this series! 

You Are My Star, Thai, YouTube, 1ep 37 mins (aired as 3 12-min eps and then they compiled into this one short film), May 18 [complete]

This was a cute Thai GL that I enjoyed mostly because of the very clear cribbing of specific scenes from recent BLs. It was mostly trope-y (both cuteness and drama), with good kissing. See if you can spot the BL references.

Xiao Xiang Yi Jiu, Chinese, YouTube, 7 episodes 2 mins each, May 20-June 3 [complete]

This little microseries is about a girl becoming an intern for her crush/idol. Happy ending, and they do become explicitly girlfriends! No kiss because censorship.

Lonely Girls Korean, YouTube, 4 episodes 8 minutes each (32 mins compiled) May 14 [complete]

This is about a couple that struggles with the closet, lack of communication, and how to make their relationship last in the face of uncertainty. Also there’s good kisses. SukFilm have done other series before and since, but this is my fave GL of theirs so far. 

The Two of Us Deep Night spinoff, Thai, YouTube, 6 episodes, 15 mins each, airing May 30-July 4 [complete]

I was so confused at first, because I didn’t realize this was supposed to be their story during the events of Deep Night that we didn’t get to see. I was excited about this one but bummed that we started the miniseries with a health scare and then a threat by Meiji to marry some guy just to make Freya jealous? I found it a little frustrating that two women in their 40s could not be honest with each other. The couple is so cute, but the storytelling is not, so take this rec with a grain of salt. Still, it’s so nice to see women in their 40s being super cute and in love in between the drama so I’m keeping it on this list! I am very glad to have gotten the dance sequence and the bath sequence. 

******

And of course currently airing right now so take with a grain of salt because i don’t yet know how they end, but 

Ayaka is in Love with Hiroko Japanese, 8 episodes, 25 mins, airing July 4- August 22 [ongoing]

This is a laugh-out-loud funny office comedy in which Akaya flirts desperately with her senior colleague at work, Hiorko, who then spends her evenings complaining to her friends at the lesbian bar about oblivious straights who don’t understand the meaning of what they say. I've written a little more about this show here. It is my favourite GL of the year so far and if it stays this good is on its way to being one of my favourites of all time!

The Secret of Us Thai, 8 episodes, 50 mins each, airing June 24-August 15 [ongoing]

This series starts with the cutest episode of all time and then devolves quickly into serious drama lol but it did a good job avoiding pure “noble idiocy” so I’m hopeful it will continue to hold up. As of ep3 things are happening that I did not expect, so I’m really curious how this one will go. In the meantime, it is also worth noting that these actresses are excellent kissers.

[UPDATE: Of these two that were airing, I ended up thinking I was going to have to retract for The Secret of Us but instead retracted for Ayaka Is In Love With Hiroko. I had way more fun with Ayaka week to week but the ending was really disappointing; The Secret of Us in contrast nailed the ending. I wrote about it a bit here. ]

[whateverisbeautiful]

♥️Reveling in Richonne - TOWL

#15: The Going (1.02)

What Michonne trusts just as much as knowing when to go is her husband knowing where they have to go. And so as this riveting Richonne reunion moment continues we see Michonne willing to follow Rick's lead and go to the mysterious place that's been keeping him trapped for years. But before they go, Michonne also has to experience some heartbreak when her bestie goes to the other side 😥...

After a spectacular initial Richonne reunion, the good times are quickly interrupted when Rick hears CRM helicopters nearing. And this is when we really get to see that fear Rick will later admit he felt in ep 4. Also, I like how in this reunion scene Michonne's being a comfort to him and Rick's being a protector to her.

First, the way Rick's eyes are red from crying. 🥲 This is an overstimulation moment for real and there’s so much going on. Like Rick was fully focused on Michonne and you can see him be yanked back to reality as he realizes the CRM are fast approaching.

gif cred: @andy-clutterbuck

Rick looks out and gravely tells Michonne, “They’re coming. More” as the music switches from angelic romantic music to something far more looming and daunting. 

Michonne asks, “Of them?” in a way that shows she has no love for those opps. And also I love how it’s almost like she’s finishing his sentence. Rick says, “Yes” in a way that always stands out to me because you can hear the intense fear in his voice. He knows Michonne is now in immediate danger. 😰

Michonne adamantly says, “Then we go.” I love how Rick and Michonne are already back to operating as a 'we' and knowing they’re going to make their next move together. 

But you can see the CRM has really done a number on Rick and both fear and the awareness of the CRM’s formidibleness has him urgently telling Michonne, “No, no, no. It’s too late. They’re coming.” 

Then thinking on his feet Rick cooks up a quick plan and alibi as he tells Michonne, “Say you have another name. That you came out of the forest and you saw the soldiers being attacked.”

As Rick speaks, Michonne looks at him so confused. But I love that she’s still holding onto him because it's like once she found him she’s not letting go and having him disappear ever again.

Rick continues with the story she needs to tell saying, “You were a part of a community that fell years ago, someplace small.” And again Michonne is like 'what exactly are you talking about??" as she squints her eyes confused and lightly says, “What?” 

gif cred: @coolpartytimefan

Then Rick looks in her eyes and very seriously tells her, “Don’t show them who you are.” And that’s a pretty vague statement so Michonne needs clarification and also is wondering what exactly she is that needs to be hidden. She searches his eyes for a moment and then asks, “What I am?”

And then I always love the delivery when Rick says, “Strong. A leader. You hide it.” He says those qualities like he loves them so much in Michonne. Even after almost eight years, he knows those traits are still in her. And while he adores those traits in her and they’ve honestly saved his life multiple times, he also knows they can risk her life if the CRM learns that Michonne is the A above all As.

Also, it hit me that, before Nat shows up, all Rick knows is that Michonne might've taken down the helicopter and these soldiers singlehanded and I feel like he’s just like yep...

I love that Rick steps closer to Michonne too when he says she's strong and a leader. He knows his wife, and he’s experiencing this dual thing of being so glad she’s back and so terrified she’s back. But he wants to be tender with her even with his mind going a mile a minute. 

Michonne looks at him still trying to process everything and then Rick again with so much concern in his voice says, “They’re - They’re gonna be here. We’ll go back with them. We have to.” I like how when Rick says they’re gonna be here, Michonne subtly seems to hold onto him a bit tighter because she’s like whoever they are will not be taking you from me again.

When Michonne hears they have to go back with them she whispers “No. What?” And I just know she is so eager to get out of here and have her, Rick, and Nat on their merry way back to the kids. So hearing Rick say they have to go somewhere else and delay the trip home even further is so not what she wants to hear, especially going to a group that killed her friends.  

It had to be so hard when Rick was saying this is what they have to do because in her mind they were going to be back hugging their kids in no time now that they’d found each other.

gif cred: @nerd4music

But I adore the way the magnets are at work in this scene because even despite Rick and Michonne having differing ways they want to handle this situation, they both only step closer to each other and continue to hold each other.

Rick can see Michonne does not want to have to go this route and so he reassures her saying, “I promise. Michonne, I promise.” And ahhh hearing him say her name in front of her for the first time in the miniseries is the best. 🥰 He always says her name like it’s the most beautiful word in the world.

And I love the way he looks at her and wants to reassure her. It’s so clear that he is literally prepared to do anything to make sure she’s okay. It’s interesting that he’s so convinced they have to go back with the CRM. It makes sense because they’re out of time but it also reflects how he’s come to believe there’s really no way out or around the CRM. 

Rick pauses for a moment then tells Michonne with conviction, “I’ll make it so we get away.” And honestly, in this moment I know he really means that. Like he looks right in her eyes because he’s not lying even if he doesn’t know exactly how he’s going to pull it off.

While it took him years to try and escape I think he genuinely feels like with the added motivation of saving Michonne’s life he really won’t rest now until they successfully escape. 

gif cred: @andy-clutterbuck

And then I absolutely adore seeing him affectionately holding Michonne’s face in his hands as he says this and Michonne’s reaction too. She looks hesitant at first but then she just stays looking at her husband's face and smiles, choosing to trust him.

That’s one thing about Rick, he’s the only man who can get Michonne to defer to his way above her own even without much information. So even tho she has no clue where they’re going or how they’ll get out she trusts Rick to lead them and it’s a beautiful thing that she doesn’t give to just anyone. She trusts him wholeheartedly

Then Michonne can’t help but smile and laugh that she found her man as she quietly says okay and nods in agreement to his plan. And then she returns back into their Richonne bubble as she so happily and emotionally says “I found you.” before wrapping him in her embrace again. 🥰

The way she keeps touching him as she lets it soak in that he’s really here is so sweet. 🥹 Also, she’s understandably like let’s table this CRM stuff for a sec cuz I’m not over the fact that after all these years I really found you. And Rick lets out this emotional sound as he embraces her back and I’m just again smiling ear to ear in this moment. 😊

And Michonne is smiling from ear to ear too when their hug is broken up by Nat who calls Michonne’s name. I know Nat was probably looking from afar like…now how did my friend go from killing those soldiers to full-on making out with one of them?? 🧐 lol.

Michonne is so happy to turn to Nat and confirm that her man is alive and this fine man in her arms is him. I know she was about to be like 'bestie, come let me introduce you to my husband and his curls' lol. 😋

gif cred: @nat111love

Also, Rick, who is in high alert mode because he knows they're in dangerous territory, is looking at Nat like 'who is this and is he going to be added to my long list of concerns rn?'

Nat says, “Christ. Is that him?” And Michonne is beaming big time in her “my man, my man, my man” energy as she nods to confirm. 😊And again I love how she keeps her arms wrapped around Rick in some way shape or form because until she can quite literally attach Rick to her hip she's not letting go of this man for anything.

gif cred: @nat111love

Rick is quiet and looks at Michonne as Michonne is quick to assure Nat “He’s not with them” because as far as Nat knows from the outside looking in it sure looks like Rick is aligned with their enemies. But I love that Michonne is so certain Rick’s not with them, even despite the uniform.

And the way she looks back at Rick...I know a lot is going on right now but the thought 'Dang, my baby really only got more attractive over the years' had to cross both Rick and Michonne's mind at least once in these here woods. 😋

gif cred: @nat111love

So next - this show wants to pierce my heart by piercing Nat’s. 😣 It’s a heartbreaking moment. 💔

Nat is mid-sentence cuz he wants some answers when he asks, “Well how the hell…” and then he’s immediately hit with a fatal bullet by one of those trifling surviving CRM soldiers.

For a character that was just introduced in this episode, the show and Matthew Jeffers did a great job of really really making us care about Nat and feel the weight of his tragic loss. 😢

Nat falls to the ground and Michonne yells his name as she runs to him. While Michonne runs to him, Rick picks up Michonne’s sword to finish business with that soldier.

When Rick said he was not with the CRM he meant that because the way he switched up and field goal punted that CRM soldier and then killed him with Michonne’s katana was gold. 🤭 Also I like how Rick is the only one who can touch Michonne's katana and live to tell the tale.

gif cred: @ricksmarlene

I'm sure that soldier on the ground was thinking 'oh good Grimes is here' and then the next thing they knew Rick was plunging a sword into their heart like it ain’t no thang. 😬 Had to be done.

And I know the larger part of why Rick did this is because they can’t have witnesses that can go against their story, especially one who might have seen Sergeant Major Grimes passionately making out with Michonne. But I personally also like to think Rick could instantly tell Nat was someone important to Michonne and so he was going to take out that solider on their behalf cuz a friend of Michonne is a friend of his. 

Nat struggles to speak but still has important questions about Rick as he asks Michonne “Is it still him. Can you tell?” Which is valid to ask because a lot can change in almost 8 years apart. Michonne sincerely tells Nat “I can.” I feel like she can tell because Richonne’s kisses are a form of communication and so when Rick kissed her Michonne knew no matter what has changed her Rick is still in there.

Then Nat hands down his life lesson to Michonne saying “See you can still believe and know when…” but he doesn’t finish the sentence as his eyes slowly glaze over and he tragically passes. 🥺 Seeing this I was just like Nat, even after only knowing you briefly, you will be so missed and forever appreciated as a genuine friend to Michonne. 🙏🏽

It’s interesting how within seconds of each other Michonne and Rick both lost one of the most impactful people to them in recent years. Like Okafor just died and he’s the one who instilled in Rick this idea of losing yourself for the greater good and Nat just died and he’s the one who instilled in Michonne this idea that you can believe and know when to go. And throughout TOWL we see how these influences affect Richonne and their next steps. 

(Also both Jeffers and Tate did an absolutely excellent job making their characters memorable and compelling in a short amount of time.👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 Okafor and Nat were some of the best additions to the franchise and I'd have loved to see more of them. They truly made a lasting impression even in just one episode. 👌🏽)

I love that for the remainder of the show, Nat will still have such an impact on Michonne. That idea of knowing when to go will be big for her. And as of right now, she’s agreeing to go where her husband leads her. 

It’s so emotional seeing Michonne cry and repeatedly whisper no and Nat’s name as she realizes he’s gone. She’s gone through so much loss. 😢 And even when she finally gets the reward of finding Rick she has to be hit with the painful loss of her good friend and the only contact she had for a year.

Rick approaches and asks, “He helped you get here?” and Michonne tearfully says, “Yeah” and even just the way she says that to Rick made it so clear she’s talking to someone she feels safe enough to be vulnerable with.

Rick says a sincere, “I’m sorry” and I think it’s super sweet how Rick is obviously in crisis mode and worried about what comes next but he still gives Michonne a moment to grieve and presently feel for her loss.

Michonne is so caring as she keeps her focus on Nat and then Rick looks out knowing they’re going to have to act fast now. He stoops down and again so tenderly speaks to Michonne as he sweetly says her name, asking, “Michonne, do you have anything with you that could tell them about you or Alexandria? Maps, notes, anything?”

gif cred: @coolpartytimefan

Michonne thinks for a bit and I love seeing that the ring on her necklace is visible. They don’t have Rick address seeing the ring but in my mind he definitely peeped that. As Michonne thinks, she says she has a journal, a radio, a phone, and Rick’s boots and Rick has a surprised expression of his face like 'how did you get those?' But the Richonne magnet effect applies to Rick and Michonne's items as well so of course the phone and boots found their way to Michonne.😌

If they had time I’m sure Rick would have asked how she got those items but you can see him realizing there’s no time for questions as he then softly says, “I need them.” And again, I appreciate he’s still being sensitive to the situation Michonne is in while also so aware and stressed over their other CRM situation. 

Rick places the katana in Nat’s hand to frame him for the CRM attack. Then the next scene has Rick and Michonne preparing for the CRM's arrival as Rick pours out as much info as he can before they’re separated.

He tells Michonne she needs to say Nat had the sword and that she took one of the soldier's guns off the ground and stopped Nat. I was like dang this is a lot of things for Michonne to have to remember to say. 😅

Then Rick says, “We’re gonna be separated” and knowing those are words Michonne and him never want to hear again, he goes to her and reassures her, “But I’ll find you. As soon as it’s safe. I promise” And I love the tender way he says it and I especially adore that he pulls her in closer to him when he does.

It’s sweet that he knows Michonne can find comfort in his promising words and in him holding her. I will always appreciate how Rick takes his role as Michonne’s protector so seriously.

Michonne nods fully trusting him despite going into this whole thing mostly blind and clearly a little anxious as she keeps looking up awaiting the CRM helicopter's arrival. 

Rick then says he needs to have his gun on Michonne and she clearly doesn’t like the sound of that. He says they need to see him with his gun on her and her with her hands up. And it's crazy to see because the last time Rick put a gun on Michonne was when they were strangers in season 3.

Michonne listens and turns away as Rick gives one last instruction to call the dead something other than 'walkers' because that’s what he called them. It’s sweet how he’s trying to think of every detail he can tell her to make this work.

gif cred: @coolpartytimefan

The helicopter whirrs closer and Rick says with certainty, “We will get away.” Michonne looks back at him with a bit of concern on her face, because all she knows is she’s going to the place that somehow kept Rick Grimes from their family for years. But I love that she knows she can look at Rick and feel some sense of comfort.

And Rick gives her an extra dose of comfort when he passionately yells out, “I love you!”

PERFECTION. Y'all, I adore him saying that here sooo much. 😍 He said I’m not waiting for one more second to tell you what I’ve longed to tell you which is I love you. It’s so romantic and it's an impactful contrast of him saying I love you while having to aim a gun at her.

gif cred: @msanonships

I like the detail of how Rick doesn’t put his hand on the trigger cuz he doesn't even want to play around like that when it comes to his wife.

It’s so sweet that he wants Michonne to be comforted by the fact that no matter what else has happened or will happen he still loves her so much.

One thing that was so clear is that even Dead Rick still had a blazing love for Michonne. And now that just her presence alone has slowly begun bringing him back to life, the love he has for her is as electrifying within him as it was before he decided to die.

gif cred: @ricksmarlene

It’s nice too because he sees the way Michonne looks at him for reassurance and he wants to comfort her the best he can and what’s more comforting than their love. Yelling out 'I love you' also added to the pile of evidence that shows Rick is a loverboy to his core when it comes to Michonne.

So then we get the compelling shot of Rick pointing his gun at Michonne as she puts her hands up and the helicopter arrives and lowers to the ground.

gif cred: @ex0rin

Having Rick with her and hearing him declare his love does give Michonne a lot of comfort and makes her feel safe despite the circumstances as she smiles up at the helicopter and seems just so aware that whatever this strange new place is it’s no match for her and him together.

Like truly the CRM is about to pick up their downfall by bringing Richonne back to base. And it’s just cinema seeing the ring fly back in the close-up shot of Michonne's smiling face.

It’s clear having Rick back has just infused Michonne with more life as well. And I love how her smile up at the helicopter parallels Rick's smile up at the helicopter in the TWD series finale. #CutFromTheSameCloth

(Also who would have thought that the close-up shot of Michonne in TOWL's first full-length trailer would include Rick behind her with his gun aimed her way. 🫢)

This whole woods reunion scene - from the moment Rick's helicopter crashed to the moment a new helicopter came to cart Richonne back to the CRM - was so good. 🔥 It had high expectations to reach and it absolutely reached and surpassed them to me. 👏🏽

And now that Rick and Michonne had finally reunited it was time to see just how well this plan at the CRM would go. 

gif cred: @richonne4life

Now about Richonne’s undercover plan… 😅.

I kept feeling like Richonne really needed to rethink this plan because there are only two things those two can’t do and this plan was going to require them to do both.

One; Michonne was gonna have to pretend to be a B. And the thing about this is Michonne is bound to be the baddest chick in the game, she can't help it. From what we know, she’s been an A all her life and so trying to mask that was going to be damn near impossible.

Two and most importantly; a plan where Richonne has to pretend like they don’t know each other and be subtle about how they feel about each other… that had me looking at Richonne like babies, change the plan cuz...

I was genuinely trying to think of a time Rick was subtle/casual about Michonne in TWD and I could not think of once lol. During the strangers stage, best friends/co-parents stage, husband and wife stage - she's always had a very visible effect on him. 😋

In the beginning of their relationship Michonne had Rick activated in like a hostile/tense way and then eventually she always had him activated in a madly-in-love way. Either way, Rick has just never exactly been subtle when it comes to her lol. Rick and Michonne both noticeably light up around each other.

But I also was like aw Rick and Michonne might think they can do this whole pretend we aren’t in love thing because that’s what they thought they were doing pre-canon…but uh you thought, Richonne. 🤭 Cuz so many TWD characters picked up on the in-love vibes between those two. There’s a reason Carl looked at both of them like 'duh' the day after they made their relationship official. 😂

So if Rick and Michonne thought they were going to be able to resist each other and be subtle about each other now after years of longing for each other - it was simply not gonna happen. And that prediction that they'd be too irresistible to each other proved quite correct. And honestly, I loved to see it. 👌🏽😌