#and I also need to keep cleaning and organizing my room again (because god i cannot keep it organized

[yandereshingeki]

so much to do so little time (and motivation) i have

[sweetcheeksschemmenti]

Beyond The Classroom

Pt. 1

I don’t expect this one to be very popular, this is a self indulgent piece 🫡

Summary: Once a Little Eagle, always a Little Eagle. Melissa keeps that promise to you year after year as she shows up for you in every possible way.

Warnings: Child abuse, neglect, abandonment, over all sad stuff (Mel makes it better!)

WC: 3.9k

Notes: Wrote this because it’s the week before Mother’s Day and I just want my mama (she’s an awful human being and will never be a part of my life again, 6 years no contact). Melissa is a comfort character for me, so I’m using this as a hug from her. I know there are plenty of other people with bad relationships with their moms (gotta love mommy issues), so I thought I’d share in case someone else would also like this hug.

I see you, I love you.

P.s. This story is about 85% based on events I experienced as a child/young adult. I’m thankful every day for the teachers who stepped in to be the parents I didn’t have.

You grew up in a not-so-wonderful household with abusive parents and older siblings who wouldn’t have noticed if you had decided to run away one day. Melissa Schemmenti knew. She was the one person you felt you could confide in as a child. She called CPS on your parents a handful of times during the year she taught you, in hopes of keeping you safe. Unfortunately, with a broken system and a mother who could sweet talk The Devil himself, your parents got off scot-free, leaving you to deal with the aftermath each time.

You would go into school the next day with a new bruise and tears in your eyes. Melissa would hold you close and let you cry all you could before pulling a chair up next to her own so you could be near your safe person all day. When it came time for dismissal, she would hug you extra tight and send a silent prayer to God that you’d walk through the doors again in the morning. On Fridays, she would sneak a Tupperware container of homemade food and a handful of snacks into your bag with a note that said ‘love you, kid’, knowing that your parents restricted your access to food and that she was probably the only person you heard those words from most days. The world sat heavy on your second grader shoulders and Melissa did everything she knew how to make it a little lighter.

Even as you moved on past second grade, Ms. Schemmenti was there. She would check in with each of your teachers at the beginning on the school year and pop in to say hello at lunch from time to time. If you had a particularly rough night at home you would stop by her room and ask her to hold you for a minute before other students arrived. She always obliged.

The day you moved on to middle school, Melissa cried right along with you. Both of you knew she wouldn’t be able to hug the hurt away or keep tabs on you as often. Of course, she made sure you knew how much she loved you, she gave you her personal phone number and said, “No matter how old you get or how far you go, you’ll always be my favorite little eagle. I’ll always be here for you if you need me and I mean it. If things go south at home, you call me and I’ll be there in a heartbeat. You’re gonna be okay.”

As the years passed, Melissa made sure she remained a constant- the only constant, really- in your life. Through your middle school years she became your tutor, meeting you at your school’s library every Thursday after dismissal to help you with your homework. Of course, those sessions were always a little more than just help with homework; she would bring you food and make sure you had clean clothes and basic necessities. One time you let it slip that your mother had ‘forgotten’ to buy you toothpaste and she dropped off a small bag of Colgate tubes on your front porch that night.

When you entered high school, Melissa made an effort to show up for every one of your art shows and track meets. Your parents never even made it to one, but Schemmenti was there. She always was. Your high school teachers even began to think Melissa was your mother; you never corrected them. And when you started working at the hoagie stand your sophomore year, Ms. Schemmenti would stop by once a week to have dinner with you.

The physical abuse dwindled a little as you got older and were able to fight back, but the verbal abuse got worse as a result. At one point during you senior year, your mother kicked you out after throwing a fit about you not inviting her to see you try on prom dresses. You called Melissa and she drove forty-five minutes at three in the morning to get you. Your mother knocked you to the ground and pulled fistfuls of hair, creating a tangled mess. When you were finally able to get her off of you, she screamed at you the entire time you packed your bag.

“FUCK YOU Y/N, YOU SELFISH BITCH! Couldn’t even include YOUR OWN MOTHER! It hurts, it’s almost like not getting invited to your WEDDING!” You dodged books and trinkets she threw at you as you tossed whatever sentimental things you could think of into trash bags to take with you. Photos of your grandparents, your favorite stuffed animal, and some of your artworks made it in before you heard Melissa honking in the driveway.

“You’ve never been my mom,” you seethed with tears streaming down your face as you dragged your bags down the stairs.

She blocked you from leaving at the bottom of the stairs and backhanded you, her ring catching the tender skin beneath your eye. You yelped in pain and stumbled forward, she grabbed you by the throat and squeezed. “You walk out that door and NEVER come back, you hear me? You are worthless, a waste of space and air.” She dug her nails into your skin before she released you and practically pushed you through the front door.

“You’ll never have to deal with me again. You want me out? I’m out.”

Your father followed behind with his fists balled up, “If you ever come back, it’ll be the last time you see daylight!”

Melissa waited for you by the car with her baseball bat, ready to swing if need be. Once your bags were in the backseat, Melissa tossed her baseball bat into the trunk and drove off. Your mother chased the car all the way down the driveway calling you every derogatory thing she could come up with.

The drive to Melissa’s house was silent save for the occasional quiet aob from both parties. Once you arrived, Melissa took your bags inside and walked you up the stairs to her bathroom to nurse your wounds. You winced as she swabbed your cheek with isopropyl alcohol and she frowned. “I’m so sorry, hon. I’m sorry I wasn’t there sooner to stop her.”

“Don’t be, you still showed up when I needed you. It coulda been a lot worse. Thank you,” you cried as you leaned your head against her stomach just like when you were a second grader.

She held you until your tears dried then left the room to grab a change of clothes for you. Moments later, she handed you a pair of her sweatpants and an oversized Eagles t-shirt. “You can take the bed tonight, I’ll sleep on the couch. My spare room doesn’t have a bed right now, but we can fix that tomorrow after I call out of work. You need anything before I head down, kid?”

You looked at the ground, embarrassed to even ask, “Would you maybe… would it be okay if…. never mind, it’s stupid.” You shook your head and climbed under the comforter, it smelled like Melissa.

She somehow knew exactly what you were asking without hearing the words. She climbed into the bed and lifted an arm for you to scoot in. “Of course, sweet girl, it’s not stupid at all. I’ll keep you safe, promise. Try to get some sleep, I’ll be right here.” You settled into her embrace and took a deep breath.

You whispered, “I love you, thank you.”

“I love you too, baby girl. Sleep tight,” she whispered back before pressing a kiss to the top of your head. Sleep was the last thing on her mind as she held you, watching as the rise of your chest slowed. She stayed awake the whole night, guarding your peace.

Late the following morning, you woke up to an empty bed and the sound of people in the house. You popped your head out into the hallway to see Melissa directing three men where to go with the new bed set. She heard the door creak and looked over at you with an apologetic smile, “Hey, hon, sorry to wake you! They’ll be outta here shortly. I called your school and work to let them know you wouldn’t be in for a few days so you don’t have to worry about it. I washed the clothes that were in your backpack, they’re sitting by my bathroom. There’s also a clean towel for you and a new toothbrush on the counter. You’re welcome to use my hairbrush and whatever else you need.” You smiled back at her and closed the door.

You picked an outfit from the pile of folded clothes and shut the bathroom door to shower. Your body was sore from the adrenaline and you groaned in pain as you shed your pajamas. Standing naked in the mirror, you looked over the marks your mother left on you. The nail marks on your neck were already scabbed over, but the gash under your eye was bruised and definitely going to leave a scar. You traced your fingers along each mark, tears forming in your eyes. The shower was hot enough to leave your skin red, you wanted to burn away any remnants of what happened to you. You sobbed loudly as you tried to detangle the mess of hair your mother created, it hurt and you were so worried that you’s just have to cut it all off.

There was a soft knock at the door. “Ya decent?” You opened the door for her and she gently took the brush from your hands. She directed you to sit backwards on the toilet while she worked at the knots on your head. You nearly fell asleep sitting there as she hummed and massaged conditioner into your hair, working diligently to make sure you kept your beautiful hair.

“You sleep okay,” She asked as she rinsed your hair in the sink.

“That was the best sleep I’ve had in a very long time. I haven’t slept in a bed in months, it was so soft.” You said it like it was nothing.

She paused. “Whatduya mean you haven’t slept in a bed in months?”

You sighed deeply. “They took my bed away because they said I was a whore and didn’t deserve one. I told them that I’m a virgin and they took the door off of my room, callin’ me a liar.” You hadn’t told her that detail when you saw her at one of your track meets a few months before. You figured you’d shared enough heartbreaking details with the woman, she didn’t need to be even more worried about you.

Hot tears silently flowed down her cheeks. She was angry. Not at you for not telling her, but at the low-lifes you called parents. “You gotta be fuckin’ kiddin’ me,” she spat. She was ready to call in one of her favors from The Tire Iron. “Well I’ll tell ya one thing, kiddo, you ain’t goin’ back there ever again. You’ll never be without ‘long as I’m around, ya got it? And you’re welcome to stay here for as long as you want, no strings attached.”

You choked back your own tears. “Thanks, Ms. Schemmenti. I truly appreciate you.” She wrapped your hair in a towel and you turned to hug her. “What would I do without you?”

“Starve, apparently,” she teased when your stomach growled loudly. She grabbed your chin to look at you, “And no more ‘Ms. Schemmenti’. You can call me Melissa, Mel, Aunt Mel, whatever you want, just not that. You’re family, kid. Now c’mon, I’ll make you something to eat before we head out for a shopping trip.”

“Yes ma’am.”

Her brow furrowed, “You tryin’ to make me feel old? None of that ma’am stuff either.” You giggled and followed her down to the kitchen.

She made French toast and sausage and you devoured the meal in just a few bites. Satisfied with you having eaten, she grabbed her purse, dragged you to the car and pulled out of the driveway. Along the way, she asked you to make a list of anything you might need or want. You took your phone out and looked at it for the first time that day. The screen was full of awful messages from both of your parents and extended family members. You chose to clear the screen and turn off notifications without reading them all and opened your notes app to jot down a few things you knew you missed when packing bags.

Melissa pulled into the mall parking lot and looked over at you, “You look like you’ve seen a ghost, what happened?”

You rubbed your eyes and tried to fake a smile, “Nothin’, I’m just tired.” She knew you well enough to know when you were lying, but she wasn’t going to push you on the subject.

“Mkay, kid. If you decide you wanna talk about it, you know I’ll always listen. And you know I’d kill for ya.” She gently nudged you with her elbow and the two of you made your way into the mall. You showed her your list and she took charge, guiding you around to every clearance rack and bargain bin in the vicinity. You paid for the majority of your new finds, but she insisted on helping with funds here and there. Many stores later Melissa stopped for a bathroom break and you found yourself in front of Auntie Anne’s. Remembering how much she loved soft pretzels- she’d get one every field trip- you decided to buy two, one for each of you. It was a very small token of gratitude, but you knew she’d be excited.

When she exited the bathroom, she scanned the food court for you and found you sitting at a table with all the bags. She sat down across from you and you pushed the soft pretzel her way with a little cup of honey mustard, “Thank you for today. Normally I hate shopping, but you made it fun.”

She gave you an upside down smile and took a bite. “I’m glad I could be a good distraction for ya, hon. And thank you for this!” She clinked her pretzel with yours to ‘cheers’ the day. As you finished your pretzels in silence while people watching, a dress shop on the upper level caught your eye. Despite trying on prom dresses, you never actually bought one.

Melissa‘s eyes followed your gaze and when she spotted the shop she knew what she was going to do. “Hey, I know you said you normally hate shopping, but since we’ve been having so much fun today… why don’t we keep the fun going and go pick out your prom dress? It’s what, two weeks out?”

You shook your head, “Nah, I can’t afford it now that I’ve spent half my savings on shit I needed today. Besides, I got to do prom last year, I’m alright missing out on this one.” You played with the straw in your drink absentmindedly and took the last bite of your pretzel.

Melissa thought back to the conversations she had with you about how excited you were for your senior prom. You buzzed about it every time the two of you spoke for months, it broke her heart to see you resign to not going. “My treat, hon. And I ain’t takin’ no for an answer, I know how bad you wanna go. C’mon,” she said as she prodded you up and dragged you to the dress shop.

You spent about an hour browsing and trying on different dresses, even somehow convinced Melissa to try one on with you for shits and giggles. You pretended not to see her sneak a picture in the mirror of the two of you in the matching dresses, a sweet moment she wanted to remember forever. Finally, you found the right one. The a-line strapless dress stopped mid calf, it was wine red and fit like a dream. When you emerged from the dressing room to show her, she gasped.

“Oh, beautiful girl! My favorite little eagle isn’t so little anymore.” She stuck her bottom lip out in an upside down smile as she reached to tuck your hair away from your eyes. She took a small step back and asked you to spin so she could see it all. The smile on your face told her you made your choice. With misty eyes she pulled you into a tight hug, limiting your ability to breathe.

“I can’t… breathe… help,” you choked out. The redhead lessened her squeeze and apologized but didn’t let go, she needed that moment to collect herself. You stood there embracing each other for a couple of minutes before Melissa finally released you. Once you changed back into your clothes, she took the dress to the register and paid.

You walked out together and stuffed all the bags in the trunk, laying the dress flat in the backseat. “Thank you. For everything, Aunt Mel. For a few hours, it didn’t feel like my world was crashing down around me. I’m lucky to have you.”

She kissed her fingers and then pressed them to your cheek before she started driving. “I’m pretty lucky to have you too, kid. And I’ll always be here to pick up the pieces when you need me.”

The drive back to Melissa’s house was quiet, aside from the classic rock station playing the weekly hits countdown. You checked your silenced notifications to see even more messages and missed calls from your family, Melissa glanced over and saw them too. “If you want, we can change your number this week, that way they can’t bother you anymore,” Melissa offered.

“They still pay for my phone, I can’t. They’d cancel my service the moment they found out.” You shoved your phone back into your pocket.

“Then I’ll just move you over to my cell plan. They don’t deserve the power they have over you, hon.” You opened your mouth to protest but stopped when she pointed at you. “Let me help, please. Because I can and I want to.”

“Thanks, Aunt Mel.”

A few minutes later you arrived back at the townhouse and dragged all of your new belongings up to your new room, hanging up the dress immediately. Melissa said she’d help you make the bed and get settled once she got dinner in the oven. While she was working in the kitchen, you curled up on the couch and flipped the TV on, settling on ‘Rick Steves’ Europe’ reruns. Rick’s comforting voice began to lull you to sleeping and you didn’t have the energy to fight it.

Melissa walked in to tell you she was ready and found you fast asleep. Her heart melted at the sight. She draped the couch blanket over you and lightly tucked it in so as to not disturb your slumber. ‘How could anyone hurt something so precious,’ she thought to herself. After she tucked you in, she made her way upstairs to gather your new sheets and comforter to wash them before starting on the rest of the room.

She grabbed the basket of your clothes from her own room and began to hang them up in your closet. Once she finished the task, she cleaned out the dresser and filled it with your socks, pants, and undergarments. One by one, she removed her family photos from the walls and replaced them with the handful of framed photos you brought with you. She recognized your grandparents’ photo from the one time she had met them at the beginning of your second grade year, right before they passed. They were your best friends, you were safe when they were around. Melissa decided to place the picture on your nightstand so that they’d be watching over you every night. Lastly, she organized your toiletries in the guest bathroom and set out a fresh set of towels and one of her robes.

Satisfied with her progress, she took a short break to check on you, change over the laundry, and take out the lasagna. You were still asleep and she didn’t want to disturb you so she ate alone in the dining room and texted her mother.

Mel: Hey, Ma. You mind setting an extra place at the table for family dinner on Sunday?

-Ma: Hot date?

-Mel: Nah. You remember me telling you about Y/N?

-Ma: You’ve talked about her for the last ten years, yeah I remember. Is the poor kid okay? Her parents treating her like shit again?

-Mel: They kicked her to the curb, said she wasn’t welcome back. She’s staying with me for as long as she needs to.

-Ma: Of course I’ll set an extra place for her, Amore. She need anything? You need anything?

-Mel: She needs all the love she can get, just make her feel like family. I’ve got everything else handled. Thanks, Ma.

-Ma: We can do that. Talk soon.

She finished her meal and gathered the clean bedding from the laundry room, making her way back upstairs to make your bed. Once the sheets were on, she fluffed the comforter and pillows before opening your backpack to retrieve your favorite stuffed animal, Mr. Bunz. Even at eighteen, you slept with him tucked in your arms every night. She hugged the well-loved bunny to her heart and thought back to the day she gave him to you. Right before holiday break your third grade year, she pulled you aside at dismissal and tucked him into your backpack. She told you to give him a hug whenever you needed to feel loved and she wasn’t around to give you a hug herself. Little did she know, that was the only gift you received that year.

Melissa placed him in the middle of the pillows, like the cherry on top, and went back downstairs to wake you for dinner. She sat on the arm of the couch and gently began to run her fingers through your hair. “You need to eat somethin’, sweetheart,” she whispered as your eyes fluttered open. You stretched and sat up, leaning your head against her leg.

“What time is it?”

“About 7:30. You’ve been through a lot the last 24 hours, figured you could use the rest. I got your room all set up for ya. I’ll heat up your plate and we can watch a movie before bed. How’s that sound?”

You rolled off the couch and rubbed your eyes. “Sounds good,” you yawned. You followed the redhead into the kitchen and sat at the counter. She warmed your plate in the microwave and placed it in front of you with a glass of water. You demolished your meal like you hadn’t eaten in days, complimenting her cooking after every other bite. You washed your dishes and then made your way back to the living room, joined by Melissa. She turned on one of your favorite comedy movies and watched the light return to your eyes a little more with each scene.

Sitting there, laughing at the stupid jokes on the screen with the closest thing you’ve ever had to a real mom, with a full stomach and a warm bed waiting for you upstairs, you realized something.

For the first time in your eighteen years of life, you were finally home.

[outivv]

Hi, can i ask for scenario/headcanons with dormleaders in which reader is feeling suicidal and just comes to them with seemingly tired/gloomy face and asks "would you take care of Grim if I'd die?" (if your request are still open and you're ok with the topic) also pls do it with comfort/fluff ending my broken heart needs it

Also sorry (and feel free too ignore me I would totally understand) if your request are closed and/or you're not ok with topic.

Here's the pic of my cat to brighten your day.

Synopsis: suicidal reader asks dorm leaders to take care of grim if anything happens to them

Warnings: heavy heavy talk of death/ suicide/ reader coming to any harm, if this triggers you please sit this post out, I want everyone to stay safe >:( (also this isn’t proofread but that’s less important than people’s mental/ physical safety)

Characters: dorm leaders

Pronouns for reader: gender neutral/ not mentioned

A/n: hello hello! Your cat is so adorable oh my god. Genuinely they look so fluffy and pretty :’). Also I am very very sorry that this took me so long to get to, but I hope you enjoy, and take care of yourself!!

— Riddle —

The moment you approach him he knows somethings wrong. Riddle isn’t very good with emotions, or social cues, but even he knows somethings up.

And he absolutely panics when you say “if anything ever happens to me, make sure grim is taken care of” he doesn’t show any signs of panic, because he has to stay calm so then you’ll stay calm, and/ or won’t get overwhelmed.

“I’m sorry [name] I don’t know what you mean?” He says, looking directly into your eyes. You can see the panic rising in his face, even if he’s trying his hardest not to show it. You repeat yourself, telling him again “if I die, or get hurt, or anything. Take care of grim.” Your voice stern now. Riddle sighs, not knowing what to do in this situation, and does what he can, leading you over to a couch to talk.

Instantly sits you down to talk, whether that’s you venting, or him trying to understand the situation better, or both, doesn’t matter, because it is a discussion you will absolutely have.

I think no matter the situation riddle will keep a close eye on you. Actively seeking you out at all hours of the day, and making sure you’re taken care of. He doesn’t want anything bad to happen to you because he deeply cares about you (especially if you’re considering yourself to be MC, then he very very much admires you)

— Leona —

Instantly no. Leona’s approach to this situation isn’t great, and I will absolutely say that, but it’s then best he knows because this is a hard subject for him.

“What?” Leona snarls. “I said, if… you know, something happens, would you please take care of grim?” Your focus on the ground now. “No.” Leona said, his brows furrowed, staring at you. “Please, I just want to make sure grim is safe, and I trust you the most.” Leona sits up fully now, the bed beneath you shifting to accommodate the movement. You often have pillow talks like these, Leona always pretends to be asleep but never actually is. “Nothing is, and will never happen to you.” Leona grabs your hand, and kisses the back of it.

Kinda is the tough love/ affection type of person, aka the type to say “I will murder you if you die”, and will make sure you know that nothing will ever happen to you around him.

Tried to make a routine with you, and take care of himself, and you much better. He starts skipping class less, keeping his room clean, makes sure he’s organized, all so then you’ll start doing the same, and feel better about yourself and your environment, which then would better your mood. (Idk if this makes sense, but basically he’s trying to take care of you, and make you happier by doing small things)

— Azul —

At first is like “yeah I’ll take care of grim, he’ll be the happiest cat in the world- WAIT WHAT DO YOU MEAN ‘IF SOMETHING HAPPENS TO YOU’????”

I think he’s kinda frozen when you walk in super gloomy already, let alone when you ask him to take care of grim if any harm comes to you. He does not know what to do in this scenario, and will very much just kinda blank for a minute, before turning very serious.

“[name]. Is someone threatening to harm you?” He says his attention turning to you, and away from his work, “because we will take care of them, if you wish.” His tone was sweet, but you knew his words held malice in them. “No… nothing like that I just… I don’t know” now what you were talking about hits him like a bus.

Once he really understands what you mean, he will reassure you in any way possible, that you aren’t going anywhere, except for home when Crowley find a way for that to happen.

I think that even jade and Floyd would get involved in some way to reassure, and comfort you, but azul would try to keep them out of it for the most part cause he knows how overwhelming they can be.

Azul understands what you feel, cause he’s felt it first hand, and I think he’d do his best to make you feel appreciated, and enjoy things, even if sometimes he’s a bit shy about it lmao

— Kalim —

Does understand the gravity of the situation. He realizes and notices that it’s serious, and that you’re upset by it, but doesn’t truly understand what you mean, by “if something happens to you” and what the something would be.

“[name] what do you mean?? Are you ok?? Is someone after you?? Do we need to take care of them??” Kalim asks question after question. It becomes overwhelming easily, but kalim as a whole can be overwhelming. “No no- I just…” you sigh, “if I were to die, for… whatever reason, please… take care of grim. Keep him safe.” He still doesn’t know what you mean, but he now understands how serious it is.

I don’t think anyone tells him what exactly you mean, because for him ignorance is bliss, but he’ll eventually figure it out in his own, and when he does he is mad. You’ve never seen him so mad. And he’s mad, because you didn’t tell him for so long (however long he didn’t figure it out for), and he is so scared, and so upset.

I think he’s very emotional, and very physically affectionate, and very much just clingy. Which, depending on who you are could be a good or bad thing.

— Vil —

Very much can pick up on body language, and emotions, and he instantly knows what’s up when you walk towards him with a very gloomy aura around you. And instantly comforts you, cause he knows what’s up almost instantly. You quite literally didn’t even have to say anything and he just “so why are you suicidal.”

Comforts you in every way imaginable, vil knows exactly what you need, and when you need it too, he’s very very attentive already, and now that he knows somethings wrong, he’s gonna pay extra close attention.

There’s not much to vil for this one, cause I do think that he’d just know what’s up immediately, and start trying to help you in every way he can.

— Idia —

Idia is bad with basic human emotions, he definitely does not know what to do in this situation and it really makes him anxious. Not the topic itself, but the fact that he wants to do something, but doesn’t know what.

“Please take care of grim if anything happens.” You ask, your voice laced with sadness. Idia pauses his game, and turns his attention completely to you saying, “Oh… why? Is… are you ok?” Idia is already panicking, what does he do if you’re in trouble? He’s no match against some mid level boss fights, how’s he supposed to fight someone?! “Im just… I don’t know what’s gonna happen… and stuff… and if I go home then… where’s grim gonna go?” Now he gets it… he thinks.

I think Idia is kinda in the same boat as kalim, he doesn’t fully understand the gravity of the situation, until he figured out that you really were suicidal. He tries his best to give you more of his attention, and look after you a bit.

Probably has ortho check in on you a lot throughout the day, he just wants to know that you’re ok. If it makes you uncomfortable though he’ll tell ortho to stop.

— Malleus —

He’s like azul And kalim mixed?? Like he’s a little unaware, but he understands that there’s some seriousness to the situation. He instantly is like “who is it that’s threatening you. I will actually tear apart the whole world for you, child of man.”

I think you outright have to tell malleus that you are feeling suicidal, or else he’ll keep freaking out internally. And when you do tell him, he just “what.” Because he’s very very concerned :’). Will not let you leave his sight for the next three weeks. He’s so protective of you, be will do anything to make sure you’re safe.

Constantly comforts you and tells you how much he cherishes you, and he just wants to make sure you’re ok :’)

[peanutbutterandbananasandwichs]

This is my fave fic I've ever written, but I have been meaning to make some changes to it for a while because my writing has improved since I first wrote it. So just thought I'd post the updated version. Also you should go to the Ao3 link just to see the amazing art that was done for this fic!

Make Something Good Out Of It

—- “Because it’s wrong and it’s bad and we shouldn’t?” —-

Sam starts awake, with a sick, lurching feeling deep in the pit of his stomach. It takes him a couple of minutes of bleary eyed confusion to piece together where he is and what had happened.

Oh God.

He runs a shaking hand through his sweat dampened hair, combing it out of his eyes, then scrubbing the hand down his face, his fingertips brush past his lips and Sam curls them round to bite at his knuckles.

SHIT.

There’s another body pressed lightly against the small of his back, his stomach lurches again as he swiftly scoots himself right to the edge of the bed. Sam’s eyes are still cloudy and his head is pounding. The heady mixture of pain pills and booze that had conspired to knock him out cold are coming back in a vengeance. His skin feels too hot, too tight, like it’s covered in thousands of inky black finger prints, smeared across his chest and back, streaked through his hair, sulfurous black oil smudging his lips, and jaw, and neck.

Maybe the pills hadn’t quite worn off after all.

There doesn’t seem to be any movement from the form behind him, thank god, he can’t face that, not just yet. God he needs a shower.

Sam drags himself from the bed, stumbling half blind across the room, trying to keep the walls from spinning. He grabs hold of the bathroom sink to steady himself, his eyes dragged up to the pale and drawn figure staring back at him in the cracked and mottled mirror. He half expects to see the oily black taint he can still feel creeping over his skin, sinking into his flesh, but there’s nothing but bloodshot eyes and the faint impression of teeth marks outlining newly blossoming bruises tracing his jaw.

FUCK.

He makes it to the toilet just in time. Sinking to his knees and gripping the edge of the seat, knuckles turning white, as he empties the meagre contents of his stomach. Dry heaving wretches shake his body to the bones and send stabbing, shooting pains searing up his spine and into his still pounding head.

Clambering back to his feet he goes to strip off his shirt, before remembering he’s already naked. But he still feels too hot. Sweat pooling at his collar bones, sliding down his skin and bringing the non existent black ink with it. Painting his him in rivulets of sulphur. Sam reaches for the shower tap, turning the water down as cold as it will go, although he’s not sure, given the dilapidated state of the rest of the house, if the hot water would have worked anyway. He climbs in.

The water feels good, cleansing and cooling, soothing the ache in his head as he lets it run through his hair and over his body. He leans his back against the wall of the shower and slides down the length until he’s sat, pressed against the cold tile. There’s a grotty looking flannel laying abandoned on the shower floor to his left and he grabs it up in his hand, scrubbing it harshly over every inch of flesh he can reach, his skin reddening under the friction of the rough cloth. He can still feel the ink, seeping deeper into him. He scrubs harder.

When he’s done, Sam rest his head back against the wall and closes his eyes. Letting the water wash over him.

He doesn’t know how long he’s sat there before he feels the touch of a small, gentle hand at his shoulder. He starts, nearly cracking his skull clean open against the tile.

“Jeez Sam!”

The hands slip under his arms, pulling him back to his feet, scooting down his slides to steady him at the waist.

It’s then that his brain registers that the hands belong to Ruby and she’s standing, stark naked in front of him in the shower.

He pushes her gingerly away from him, curling his arms protectively across his chest.

“R..ruby…what are you…?”

“Came to check you hadn’t drowned, you’ve been in here over an hour.”

“Oh. I thought you were asleep.”

“Demons don’t sleep dumbass.”

“Right.”

Sam looks down at his feet, studiously avoiding her eyes. Ruby edges forward, crowding into his space, he feels suffocated. He wants desperately to push her away, but that didn’t work before, why would it now?

She brings a hand upto his check and cups it gently, pad of her thumb splaying out possessively across his zygomatic. Sam shudders. He's not sure if it's in disgust or pleasure. Ruby tilts his head so he’s forced to lock his eyes directly onto her’s.

“Do you trust me?”

“What?”

She brings her lips up to ghost across his, but he turns his head at the last second. She presses them to his jawline instead, over one of the bite marks, eliciting another shudder.

“Do you trust me Sam?” she coos.

“Do I….?” Sam meets her eyes again, “…how can I Ruby…you’re….”

“A demon? I kinda noticed.” Her hand drifts down to his shoulder and over his back. “I saved you Sam. Remember. And if I’d wanted to kill you, I had you right there in that bed. Naked. Vulnerable.” She rakes her eyes across his torso and back up to meet his own. “Like right now in fact. I haven’t. I won’t. I want to help you. I’m all you’ve got. Please Sam, let me help you…” Her other hand reaches up to brush a strand of hair that had stuck to Sam’s face back, tucking it softly behind his ear. “Do you trust me?”

Sam swallows.

“Yes.” He looks down at his feet again. “Yes I trust you.”

“Good.” she smiles at him, gently pinches his cheek.

Ruby reaches down for something on the shower floor behind her. Sam thinks about making a run for it whilst her back is turned, but finds himself riveted to the spot. She straightens back up, and Sam catches a quick flash of silver, with lightening speed he grabe hold of her slender wrist. She's holding a knife. She must have brought it in with her.

“What the hell?!” Sam exclaims, gripping her wrist tighter.

“It’s not for you dumbo. I thought we’d already established that?”

Ruby raises her free arm and wriggling the other until Sam’s grip loosens enough for her to slip it free. She draws the blade across the flesh of her meatsuit, a line of scarlet beading just below the elbow. She looks back up at Sam, expectant.

“I want to you taste it.” her voice is low and sultry.

Sam stands stock still, his stomach turns over at the thought and he feels the urge again to run, run as far as he can, but he’s glued in place and she’s subtly blocking the escape with her frame.

“You’ve got to be kidding me?!” He can feel himself shaking. “You don't you even understand what you’re asking…what….what he…what he.. did to me….?”

“Azazel poisoned you.”

Sam looks up in shocked surprise. He’d never told anybody. Not..not even Dean.

“He forced his blood on you. I’m offering it. Yellow eyes didn’t give you a choice, this is a choice Sam. You can choose to be strong. Beat them at their own game.” She inches closer again. “Lilith won’t be expecting it, none of them will. You can turn this curse on it’s head.” Her free hand buries itself in his hair, drawing his head forwards, like a puppet or a rag doll. Her lips press to the shell of his ear. “Make something good out of it.”

Her words coil themselves round the parts of himself he tries so hard to keep hidden. “I could do it?" He asks, clawing at the edges of hopefulness. "I could save them, save the host? I wouldn’t have to use the knife?”

She nips lightly at the lobe of his ear, and there’s that uneasy shiver again. “You could save everyone Sam, the hosts, victims. Dean. And you’ll get your revenge.” Her fingernails dip sharply into his scalp and she tugs at the roots of his hair. “Lilith will pay." She's almost growling now, "we’ll make sure of that Sam.”

His lips meet hers in a bruising kiss, to match the ones of the previous night. Her hand tightens in his hair and Ruby drags his mouth away from her’s and down toward the blood seeping from her arm.

The stench of sulphur is overwhelming this close and Sam almost turns his head again, he can feel the black, inky fingermarks creeping back over his skin, but Ruby’s grip in his hair is vice like now and he’s already made his choice, he can’t turn back now.

The first taste has him fighting the impulse to vomit. There’s all the usual tastes of blood, but there is a deep undercurrent of rotten eggs and it’s somehow thicker, more oily. Ruby’s hand softens in his hair, she's stroking it gently now, as she grazes her teeth down his neck and he finds himself sufficiently distracted from the taste. His own hand coming up to scoot along her back and threading his fingers up through her hair, their bodies press close and hot under the stream of icy cold water still pouring over their heads. He pulls back from her arm, looking up at her, with wide, lost eyes, seeking reassurance. Ruby nods and kisses the blood from his lips, the blood on her arm now mingling with the water and forming a pale red pool at their feet.

Shutting off the tap behind them, Ruby grabs Sam’s hand and pulls him urgently back towards the bed.

“Just a little more Sam.” she flexes her fingers, causing fresh blood to bead at the surface of the cut, “and then we’ll get to work.”

[fagmolloy]

my mom is a hoarder but on the lower? less debilitating? end of the spectrum and like. it dawned on me today while i was organizing her room that i've been cleaning her bedroom for her since i was like. 12. and that i actually used to "treat" or "gift" her when she went away for work by doing her laundry/organizing her bedroom/moving furniture around. like i've been doing this for a long long time now. the only difference these days is that i feel like giving up because the dementia has her trying to reorganize everything all the time, to the point where i'm pulling dirty clothes out of her drawers (because she doesn't remember what's clean) and i'm stacking books back into in her closet again because she wanted to see what she owned. i've been letting her be these past few weeks and she's been mostly in her bedroom, always tidying. said she's been "reorganizing her closet". i had no idea she was essentially stuffing all her clothes on the other side of her bed because she was worried about my nephew falling off the bed... and i wouldn't have known because she just has. so many blankets and pillows that i just assumed that's what she had stacked there. so when i went to go change her sheets and move a shelf out of there i found all her books, all her pillows, blankets, and half of her closet on the floor between the bed and the wall. she also had. fucking nine kleenex boxes in her room two rolls of toilet paper and a roll of paper towel. half of her jewelry was also on the floor.

like it's always a losing battle when it comes to this part. it doesn't matter if i sit down with her and organize things how she wants it, she is constantly looping into this need to Organize and Do something and it's actually Worse than how it used to be when she just left her stuff alone and let the mess pile up. and my family tries to suggest that i find things for mom to do but honest to god there's no room in this house to give her space to Do things. she wants to bead and sew but she Can't even i Can't when my nephew's around because he gets curious and throws beads around which. isn't his fault but he also doesn't really care if he spills out a bunch of expensive seed beads or mixes up colors and i do NOT trust him around beading needles.

like tomorrow i think i'm going to ask her if she wants to give away some of her books because thank God there's a secondhand store in town that takes donations now. but her bedroom is literally just the tip of the iceberg. i get so overwhelmed even Thinking about trying to make the spare bedroom into a space for my nephew because there's like. there's a fuckign oven in there a queen mattress tons of sewing stuff a desk a dresser and all sorts of catering stuff that hasn't been used. my family is like Go Slow and Sell Things Online and it's just. easier said than done.

anyway. i'm like. mentally exhausted and all i did today was bring up the christmas tree, decorate it, move our lamp, clean the couch covers, and. moved the shelf out of her room. i'm just. Ugh. i feel immense pressure to get as much done as i can while my nephew's gone but it feels Too Much already

and i keep hearing alarms go off in my head like NEGLECT NEGLECT NEGLECT because i'm terrified i'm not actually keeping as good of an eye on her as i think i am because my job and my nephew take up so much space. like i can Feel in my Body that next year is probably going to be the year that her needs are going to become even greater than i can handle alone. And I Am Terrified.

[aajjks]

TC!dad!JK

it’s a beautiful day in goryeo, corea and the coldest season has now officially passed and made way for spring. now more than ever, flower business bring in customers as the best time of the year to grow flowers and vegetables is in the waking of spring. excitedly, you wake up early to ensure all six of your children were fed, bathed, and dressed for school with their essentials in hand and organized.

“bye mommy!!” your twin girls say as they race to the carriage. next to say goodbye to you is your 8 year old son jawon, then areum, then ae-cha, and the finally jinseoul. “make sure you all stick together!! and be safe!! AND BEHAVE” you announce to your children as they yell back a ‘yes ma’am’ before riding off to school.

you’ll never get tired of getting your kids ready for school. you remember when each of them were just little toddlers learning how to walk and now they’re all grown up. you miss your babies so much and if it weren’t for jungkook being in an important meeting, you’d cry to him about it but for now, you’ll go love up on your remaining toddler, jaehan who will turn three in just a few more weeks.

“greetings queen y/n, here is the menu for tonight’s dinner” says one of the head chef’s of the kitchen who presents you the menu for tonight. “thank you. do you all mind if areum makes the dessert for tonight? also, we’ll be having guests accompanying us so make extra”

“that will not be a problem, your highness. we will make sure to make extras for yours and the king’s company”

“thank you”

you hand the menu back to the chef and head to jaehan’s room to bathe him, wash his hair, clothe him, and help clean his mouth. since jawon isn’t around, jaehan decides to stick beside his mother and practice his writing in your office while you attempt to get some work done. occasionally, you bounce back and forth from tending to your infants, doing your paperwork, and helping jaehan with his writing.

while at school, jinseoul is greeted by hyunjin which is odd.

“hey man” smiles the young man.

“uh..hey? when did you get here?”

“it’s my first day. your dad sent a letter and gave me permission to get my education here”

“really? well, that’s cool. i could use an extra friend” jinseoul says as the two boys walk to class together and spend the entire time talking to one another. the school is very pristine and though hyunjin gets strange looks from the other royal kids, jinseoul glares back at the stuck up kids.

“the kids here are so stuck up. thank God my parents did raise us like that”

“what do you mean?”

“i mean, my mom and dad keep all of us humble. they raised us with integrity”

“well, your parents did an awesome job with you all. you’re really nice”

“you are too, man. your mom seems nice”

“she is nice—“

“JINSEOUL!!!! i’ve been looking everywhere for you!!” fusses ae-cha and the glare of hers looks awfully familiar to hyunjin. it’s a little too familiar…but on a brighter note, here she is and wow is she beautiful.

long dark hair, doe eyes, a round face like the queen’s; ae-cha is—

“can you quit staring at me? you look like a frog”

ae-cha is rude.

“o-oh, s-sorry” hyunjin quickly bows and is a little offended that she called him a frog. he hopes she meant that in a nice way.

“who are you anyway? never seen your face before”

“i’m, uh, hyunjin. i’m here because of your father”

“really? wow. well, i’m ae-cha”

“it’s an honor to meet you princess ae-cha”

“ew, don’t ever say that again. just call me ae-cha, man. no need to be weird about it”

“AE-CHAAA!!! OVER HERE, GIRL!!” yells one of ae-cha’s friends.

“ugh, i’ll fuss at you later as for you, i’ll see you around. I’M COMING GUYS WAIT UP!!!” yells ae-cha as she jogs up to her friends to laugh and talk with them while hyunjin looks like he’s been hypnotized.

“if you’re going to act like this every time you’re around my sister, i’m gonna puke” jinseoul says as he continues to walk to his next and final class.

~🫧

As soon as the king is done with his meeting, he’s on his way to your chamber, but you’re not there, so he just figures out that you’re in your own office working,

You’re so hard-working, honestly how do you have so much stamina to deal with nine children and do your duties without breaking a sweat.

You were always a perfect choice for him, and he doesn’t regret a thing about you. Although he still a little mad about last night because you left him horny and it’s not really a good feeling to sleep with blue balls but he does deserve this punishment after all..

Jungkook is honestly starting to think that he has a stupid magical, or rather cursed tongue because whatever he says just comes true. Like the thing with Yeonjin.

Which reminds him that yes she’s coming over to dinner tonight all thanks to your courtesy, but you’re just trying to be nice and that’s not wrong— and you two have to discuss the arrangement you have decided for her.

Jungkook knocks on your door patiently he makes sure to tell the guard to be silent and not announce his presence- He’s finally allowed to come in, and he sees jaehan sitting on a sofa while you sit in your chair, going through some papers.

“Hello my queen.” he says, in a high-pitched voice, hoping that he won’t recognize him, because you still haven’t looked at him.

But before his prank can go on, Jaehan begins to scream out his name. “DADDY DADDY DADDY!!”

The way you’re startled makes him laugh out loud. “Oh yn look at you.” Jungkook begins to laugh his ass off while Jaehan jumps in his father’s arms.

Jungkook kisses his toddler on his rosy cheeks and you glare at him. “what I just wanted to surprise you, but he scared you I did not.”

Jungkook takes the seat right infront of you, he’s so impressed with how seriously you take your duties and not just your role as the mother of his children, or as his wife, but as the queen of this nation as well.

He’s so proud of you that he’s not worried about the future for this dynasty.

“Babe, you know if I die, you’re gonna make a great queen regent for our crown prince until he learns his role, when he will be crowned king.”

He likes to joke about his death because it’s something that all of the Royals have to be prepared for and it’s about time that he starts preparing you for your next role and his oldest son to take his place soon as well. 

Because Jungkook knows that his life span is not guaranteed and he can die any day. don’t get him wrong. He’s perfectly healthy but he’s a warrior.

Death will always follow him like a shadow.

[macgyvertape]

DOS2 playthrough thoughts

I last played early 2018 and I started the last act about 68 hours into the game, and I remember being tired of playing the game at that point and needing the ssd space. So I uninstalled and now my saves are incompatible with the current version of the game. So instead of finishing that run I’m restarting. I finished the playthrough this time in about 90 hours.

First run I played Lohse and romanced Sebille, and while I didn’t keep a journal of the playthrough I did take a some screenshots of the companion interactions. So I’m going into a second playthrough knowing Fane did a Solas Dragon Age breaking the world, there’s a flying witch on a cross who is a pain in the ass, and I made a post complaining about were-spiders. 

Playing with a lot of mods but the improved organization mod is one I DONT recommend. It puts item into category bags then the game wont detect them in your inventory

Super long post below cut, I tried to journal what I did both to keep myself in character and because I don’t see myself replaying this game for a long time

I appreciate how this game will take anything not nailed down, I’m definitely going to try to outside the box do more combos

I killed Magister Siwan when she was unconscious, now that I know you you have a lot more freedom to kill. I’m playing Sebille this run through, goals are to be so a lot less “nice” than Lohse when it comes to antagonists, but not being a dick to other victims of the Magisters

I did not expect Ifan to be this charming or fit this well with Sebille, both of them paid killers, also love his raspy voice

I have an unlimited Companion mod so I’m taking along The Red Prince even though I’ll keep Sebille in character disagreeing with him most of the time

Yeah I killed Stingtail, was on the fence about it until he kept lying to me and seems more in character because then I can eat parts of him

I think its funny that in the scenes where companions interject, all of them will have speak up. Its like for a moment the group just does “poll of the room” and the enemy has to wait there

Mods that share bartereing and persuasion across companions are the best, especially combo with a mod to default to my character vs closes character. I remember that being really really frustrating that I’d have to do inventory management across characters just to get a good sell price

I basically did all the options to get out of Fort Joy just for the exploration and xp boost. Fight at the docks was the hardest, then I clean out the magisters. I definitely don’t remember encountering Daeyena my first playthrough

Healing the wounded magisters at the Seekr camp and the Simone is saying “how do you have so much power”. Other NPCs like Han react as well I love some good gameplay and story integration 

Tir-Cendelius is an asshole. If felt very in character to have Sebille remark that she has a spot for his name as a promise of death, then regret that as he burned his name onto her skin. He is an asshole in his veiws of submission, hope we do get to follow through killing him. No gods no masters.

Oh, I stabbed him, and then his name became Sebille’s name. “You are my champion, you are my chosen one” ok i still dont trust him

I really liked how there such a push to now see your companions as rivals, and yeah this does play different when you aren’t playing Lohse

I used double teleports to get myself through most of the wizards maze. I probably missed a few things but its a time consuming pain with 6 characters

I felt bad for Trompdoy, goading us into killing him, so after hilling him and realizing the soul jar was just beyond his fight, I reloaded to sneak through the area then to free him. I feel really sorry for the dude.

Traded the soul jar for the captain’s coat. Get the nice coat now, find him and kill him again later. Seeing notes there was definitely a smarter way to do this

I feel like Sibelle who was forced to assassinate and kill would have a lot of sympathy for someone like Gratiana who is trying to do better now. Like Sibelle would hope her victims would have some forgiveness

Slane is a Dragon Knight, fun tie in to Divinity 2 - Dragon Knight Saga, a fun if flawed game

Midway through the Bishop Alexander fight I realized it was going really poorly fighting him down in the area with all his buddies. So i reloaded and put my party up the stairs with the cursed blood, teleported him up there, and turned the area around him into necrofire. Easy kill by keeping him in the fire. It was a super long 45/50 min fight though until all enemies were defeated

Had to look up where the Tyrant gear legs were, a high stat check in an obscure statue, lmao

Went back and killed almost every Magister in Fort Joy, wish there was a way to get more people on the seeker boat, but I guess the Seekers have only so many resources

I wasn’t expecting Seekers to die on the ship considering I didn’t take them in a fight

I don’t think Sebille would be like “oh no i wouldn’t hurt you if the demon takes control” to Lohse and apparently that’s the good answer

Boned Fane rn, and he has the highest affection level at 60 when other companions are in the 20s

I cheesed the hell out of the Dallis fight, teleportation + necrofire + corpse explosion + lowering difficulty for the win

I guess Gratiana died when the ship went to the hall of echoes since she’s gone

Fane’s attitude towards me is in the 60s, Ifan is the next highest with 30. Not sure if its a mod bug or just I’ve been choosing a lot of the right options with Fane

Theres a lot of what seems to be void lore worldbuilding spread out across eating a lot of void tainted fish. 7 figures (maybe the 7 gods or eternals) threw someone into the void

I killed Lovrik afterwards because I think that’s what this group would do for trying to kill them especially since he wasn’t repentant nor offered up any money

I got a Ifan romance moment for going to smoke some herbs. Like the game gives me dialogue options to question he has my back but when he’s so affectionate like this how could I doubt him because he straightforward and not a deceptive character

I confronted Wylia the inn cook, because even though I’ve lost track of the number of times Sebille has committed cannibalism but theres a line crossed when you serve it to other people unknowingly. I like to think Sebille confronted because she didn’t want to snitch to the Magisters but was hoping Wylia would leave town. 

I helped Barrel Man escape and it earned me the Hero tag. I guess its because I helped enough people without being an asshole about rewards but all the Hero dialouge options are not what I want to say, because I’m not so heroic I’m not asking politely for a reward for a lost ring

Intersting to consider from a role play perspective, Sebille hates Magisters and has no love for them but will deliver the ring so the ghost can rest in peace. 

I didn’t have anyone built into theiving last time, so Glad I have Beast this time so he can steal the note and then pickpocket the unethical fish factory owner.

I want to kill Magister Reimond but not in the middle of town, played along and I’m sure I’ll get the chance later

The Djinn quest is well done, lots of different options and he’ll easily mislead you with a monkey’s paw style “reward”

That Ifan didn’t bring a portal but the means that the Elves homeland was wiped out from Deathfog. Really adds a layer to romancing him as an elf

I wound up killing Zanisma the deathfog technician in the caves when pickpocketing her failed. Not sure if this counts as in cold blood, Ifan didn’t inherently kill her, and Beast had smashed what she was working on, but she was working on a WMD

Mordus fight was a lot easier reloading and just dogpiling him while ignoring adds. He taught me how to wield more Source even though I didn’t promise to save his life, and then killed him afterwards for creating all the bug monsters. I’ve seen some interesting discussions on if he had free will

Had to kill the cute little Peeper the chicken because otherwise it spawned void enemies too powerful, but tbf Peeper had slaughtered the henhouse

I killed Gareth’s friend Jonathan and told him to get over it and lead the seekers. I really have to remind myself I’m trying to play Sebille as not merciful to active combatant Seekers

Wow the magisters + dog on the left bridge of Driftwood were killed, wonder what triggered that event

I wonder how the attitude among companions works, because it varies rapidly based on who is examining whom. Like Ifan has 99 attitude for Lohse but she only has 22 for him

Considering the Sebille option to step up with Ifan and threaten Hannag with him, it feels out of character not to follow through and kill her. Killing those who were knowingly involved unlike Ifan who was the catspaw. Like Ifan really emphasised “not right for me”

Hannag fight gets real easy with terrain swap and sacrificing someone to lava

I gave Xhaxh my source and blood, and let him leave without killing him. He did stop killing when I gave him source

Ifan’s dialogue about how he used to believe in something but no longer does, he really opens up and responds differently if you say you believe in people

Sebille’s response to Zemski is she desires vengeance upon the wicked, I think I’ve done a good job trying to fit that

Damn Lohse as a companion is very different from how I played her “spare me this elven strife, I care not”. 

Theres an old farm couple talking about how nice Hannag is, uuuh I’m not going to say that I killed her, but something tells me they don’t know about the deathfog

Now all my party has the Hero tag because I stopped the Magisters from killing an innocent family

Magisters killed the boy in front of his family and were going to execute the rest of them, I killed those Magisters. Magisters tortured and then killed an elf for the spore armor, I attacked and killed them. The scared dwarf woman who was one of the people who snitched on the Crossleys and regrets it, I didn’t hurt her since she told me how to get past the checkpoint

 The infamous Gwydian fight went a lot easier teleporting him away to a safe spot, and apparently its been re-optimized it so it wasn’t making my computer cry

No such thing as a free purge ability apparently, I used it on shriekers in Blackpits and a demon popped out

I appreciate how basically all my characters but Fane have movement abilities so I don’t have to teleport everyone all the time

7 Eternals turned into gods and maybe made mortals to harvest for source, isn’t a shocker. I kind of remember this plot point from the first playthrough that it was similar to the Elf “gods” in Dragon Age. Even the “nice” Amadia is an asshole if she flung every Eternal into the void as well. Seems less liberation of the people against a tyrant and more assholes overthrowing a tyrant “you could have saved yourself if only you had bowed”

Oh gods are the gems that we pick up off Voidwoken the spirits of Eternals? It mentions the gems are cloudy like there is something in there and some Voidwoken early on knew Fane’s name 

Fane has his moments of assholery where he’s mad that “of course they lied to you but they also lied to me”,  then follows it up with very moral based self reflection “if you open the gate and set a mad dog loose, are you not responsible if it savages a child”, but I guess both are a bit self absorbed

Damn if you tell him its all his fault I think that breaks him atleast a bit (I did this just to see what happens then reloaded). Telling him emphatically that it isn’t his fault is the only option where he says he can’t “sit here and mope” vs “sit here and wish for death”. 

Telling Fane that I would do anything if I had a wife and child in the clutches of the void. I hope this specific choice affects things later, it feels in character especially since I’m trying do the whole “believe in people” thing

Some real Darth Nihilus vibes about the whole source vampirism thing, hunger feeding on hunger, how long until that turns someone into a monster

I don’t remember fighting Harbinger of Doom on my last playthrough. What a fun fight using sneaking to set up the area full of necrofire. Made finding Almira later rather anticlimactic

I killed Reimond (living on the edge and mass corpse explosion ftw) and rescued Nikor and the other Black Ring people to see what happens later. 

Even if Ryker didn’t enslave souls into his masked servants, feeding people to a giant spider would be enough for me to kill him. I snooped around his room and learned he was a Lone Wolf which was an interesting detail, and he wanted the scythe because he was sworn into the Covenant. The only reason he didn’t look like an undead was he fed off the spirits in the graveyard. Super interesting villain, lots of small details in his house and mannerisms

I’ve been eating the source of asshole spirit magisters, but I left Ryker alone. Lets see if anything happens. 

Interesting how atleast 3 Sourcers: Mordus, Almira, and Ryker are all sworn to the God King

LMAO made a pass at Qanna and it was persuasion impossible with her reply “oh honey you really think you’re irresistible” 

Whelp fulfilling the ghosts last wishes by fighting the Lone Wolves makes Roost by default hostile, and means Sebille doesn’t get any dialogue, but that’s the easiest way to get the achievement. 

With the other lone wolves dead I went to go take care of the one impersonating the Baron. The ghost was nice “you who succor the souls of the dead” though I have eaten quite a few, like Roost’s spirit and the Sawmill Foreman

Oh hey, that Tir Cendelius put Sebille’s name on her arm came up later. 

I don’t think I want Sebille to be heart of the Mother Tree, but denying it there turns all the elves hostile

Saheila could have given me a source point but I already had enough

I don’t remember communing with the tree last time, it was possessed by the same Demon that possess Lohse

The Alison Addison fight was not hard at all on lvl 16 with 6 characters

I killed Grog then later Marg randomly attacked me, so I killed him too. Something something reduce the barriers preventing people from using public infrastructure

I think there’s a lot to unpack about how Lohse’s affection jumped 40 points after Jahan’s attempt to exorcize her, and if you say you want to be friends her comment “even if I can’t … well never mind”

Doing web of desires I was like: this is definitely a trap, goddamn it its spiders again

Reached Nameless Isle: Red Prince is at 66 attitude, Lohse and Ifan are in 70s, and Beast and Fane have 80

Got a chest in the middle of lava thanks to Tornado making it not lava, farsight letting me put the tornado skill far away, then teleport person to chest destination. What a fun skill puzzle

Felt pretty great to kill the Master aka the Shadow Prince, then eat his spirit after the Red Prince was done talking to him. He might be right the Mother Tree is a tyrant but that doesn’t justify his slavery

I looked up how to solve the imp pocket dimension because the slow mechanic was really annoying. It was a easy cheese with teleport

Saving Nikor paid off where he vouched for me with the Black Ring, I’m trying to explore as much of the island as i can before I wipe out both parties

I just realized I could use Sebille’s needle. Atleast the past dialogue played out fine

Aww Duna gave Beast his hat back

Awww the knight of Duma wants me to consume his source so he can’t be brought back. He really is devoted

I consumed the spirit of the Fanatic as he asked but I plan on trying to kill the Devourer, and I think he wouldn’t like that.

I brought Delorus to his fellow Magisters then helped Gareth kill them all. Like after all the evil shit the Magisters did I’m not siding with them. They blamed it on Dallis but there were shriekers outside the temple. Also there can only be one divine so I’m going to fight Alexander again sooner or later. Glad Ifan can get what little closure he can from talking to Alexander’s spirit. Of course I stood aside and let him consume it. 

Well apparently helping Gareth get his vengeance makes him disavow us. I’d rather have him on the crew so I did a persuasion check for getting him to abandon his quest for vengeance, spoke to Alexander alone to get more info, then let Ifan kill Alexander in a very satisfying dialogue scene. Interestingly Ifan gets his own dialogue option “tell Alexander he will never know what you intend” then you consume his source. Ifan hates this dude (understandable)

Sallow Man was a cool character, great to use all his mirrors afterwards to make Black Ring fight each other

Oh wow its Wendego from all the way back in act 1 in the Sallow Man’s cave, I’m not going to consume her source just to see if she shows up again

I didn’t teleport lava onto nearly enough people, only remembered to start doing it with Krug the Troll

I think last playthrough I was a lot more unsure about killing the Mother Tree, this time I’m totally doing it. I’m suspicious of Saheila’s rapid change of heart, so I figured the best option was accept the Mother Tree’s power and then kill it, there are worries about power corrupting but it might help when Sebille is Divine

I have no idea what was going on with Beast’s crew and the Isle of Mists, I’m just getting info about that now. 

It was pretty nice to choose the top non Persuasion marked dialogues and have companions agree with me, which is great because I can’t pass any of the persuasion checks without my companions sharing their bonus

I was going to romance Fane but romancing Ifan instead, I personally find him really charming and he’s the one I’ve gotten romance prompts for like bringing up what happened in the Undertavern and then he blushes.

They really spell out the Voidwoken are former Eternals for the players, and Fane has that moment of really being tempted to accept the Covenant. I’m curious if there are any paths that have him doing so if he’s a companion

I am now The One thanks to my party being good at combos in the Arena fights (I’m just realizing this is probably a reference to The Highlander)

I gave Almira the Swornbreaker, and by gave I mean I used the item glitch to drop it on the ground so it finished the quest but I still got to keep it

Found a book by Lucian that the gods feed off of mortals Source, I remember this being heavily implied by Aetera. I agree with Lucian’s desire to kill the gods but disagree with his methods

Love when a god suddenly turns into a giant robot/construct. That was a fun fight area

Kind of suprised all the companions are options for romantic choices, if you built affection with one person then swerved and sleep with someone else here wonder what happens. Also lmao the ship make this private nook for you to get nookie

I was warned against blindly agreeing to help Malady so I remained noncommittal this time. She really doesn’t like it when you choose ambivalent dialogue options towards her which I’ve done most times

Even though I told Lohse at “just friends” at a few points she REALLY has unrequited feelings for me. Also weird Fane has 0 commentary unlike all the other companions

Yeah between the glazed look in Mihaly’s eye and his line “I’m eternally grateful to be at her side” hes totally enthralled :|

The Loric fight was awfully hard until I spent about 30 minutes clearing up the deathfog and killing the adds without triggering him into combat

Holy shit wtf happened outside of Arx that there is deathfog everywhere in the valley

Glad I installed an item leveling mod, its been nice not being annoyed at getting a bad roll, and the ingame prices for the Sourcerous Sundries prices are expensive enough that its clear the devs wanted people to not keep the same gear from act 1

I found the possessed child and convinced the Demon to take Sebille as a host, the fight afterwards went much better on reload and with proper positioning. I just really enjoy having 6 characters to do fun combos with than the optimal meta

Managed to save one of the Paladins on the bridge into Arx, but more like one of them didn’t have the AI make the worst choices

If I hadn’t sent the War Owl in Act 2 I wonder how different Arx would have been with the Magisters in charge, or if things would have changed that much

Oh wow Eithne the undead from Driftwood who committed suicide is here as a spirit in Arx in the super secret underground area. Fane has unique dialogue options to tell her not to listen to the God King but seeing as she’s so dismissive I think we’ll have to fight her in the future

Huh I killed Reimond in Driftwood but his spirit is in Arx. Ironically he’s being very chatty but the audio is bugged

Vredaman is Bracus Rex, I’m not surprised Bracus Rex is running around considering how much focus he got in Act 1 but I thought he might be tied to the God-King not the Cloaked Figure. But the note from the magister that he burned a dude alive with fire is a Bracus Rex thing to do. 

Tarquin has such an ego about being the greatest necromancer; atleast he realized Bracus Rex is awful and was working on countermeasures though he really played the cards too close to his chest. 

Who could have guess a spore based armor that spreads through exploding corpses would discard its host when no longer useful /s, RIP to Daeyena, there was a moment where she recognized Sebille as the prime scion before the armor killed her

Ok this Karon kid is super sus, he’s way too nice and cheerful for this setting, and thats before the spirits talk about how the child massacared them. Gareth mentions how he’s grateful the mistake did not ascend, so I need to fix this situation somehow because keeping him forever imprisoned seems untenable. 

Time to investigate Kemm, I haven’t been keeping him up to date on the investigation because I didn’t trust him and from what Paladin DeSelby is saying glad I trusted my instincts. Yes Magisters were doing horrible things, but I think he’s using this as a power grab

Excited to see Wendigo again glad leaving her alone on the Nameless Isle paid off, and I could dismantle the shielding thanks to having my collar dismantled by the blacksmith all the way back in Act 1. Oh shit that Kemm is sworn to the God King, his whole thing about the magisters is DARVO shit. I gave Wendigo the Swornbreaker as thanks for all the info and so that she can truely rest vs us just killing her again. Sebille has some dialouge afterwards about how she didn’t fail her master, her master failed her. 

I headed back to deal with Karon and it seems he escaped. Whoops

The bit with Adramahlihk’s realm is great environmental storytelling. Considering the ethics of destroying 3 souls to weaken the demon then right behind to door are thousands of souls, the horror of that moment

Lohse’s comment of “I don’t care about [the trapped souls]. I mean I do… but the only person I really care about is me”. It makes total sense how if you don’t interject Lohse will lean on you for support then tell Malady to extinguish all the candles. But if you speak up to say to leave, she will agree with that because she doesn’t want to become just like the demon. I believe in my party’s ability to kill Adrahmalik through cheese strats if I must, especially for Lohse’s morality

So the Doctor(Adramalikh) gave the Kemms both the fucked up talking plants and the bud plants that spit poison, but its all a trick because those plants attacked me thinking I was Lord Kemm

Kemm’s vault was a bit tricky in that I looked up the optimal way to do quests so I didn’t get locked out of anything. 

 Finally killed those demons that kept ambushing me, the charm effect from Lohse’s coat drastically changed the course of the fight when she charmed 3 of them

The cursed revanants that respawn if there is cursed fire are the literal worst fight of the game. So much area prep for a then very short fight

Getting trapped in the realm of Nightmares was sooo bullshit, once half my party went through the door the other half had multiple rounds of being taunted and provoked so they couldn’t do that and kept dying. Not sure what I would have done without being able to keep recrafting the idol of rebirth and giving it back to the characters in combat. 

So the Red Prince is the father of dragons, here’s hoping his Empire remains peaceful and not expansionist with a lot of slavery. Honestly Sebille obtaining Divinity feels like it would be a good power check on him

Oh wow Saheila is in Arx and is a warhawk for a racewar and from searching online she’ll say this regardless if you kill the mother tree; this feels like extremely inconsistent writing for her character between each act

I have so many skills on several characters that its bleeding over to the second row, kind of annoying because out of sight is out of mind

The Lord Keem fight was a lot better on reload since Arhu died instantly the first time. Surround Arhu with boxes so no one can get close or damage him, fill an area with Deathfog and then teleport all the other enemies into it

It was really satisfying to drain Kemm’s source, he really was such a rich asshole

Adrahmalik fight was pretty simple with the tip to kill Lohse every 2 turns so that he’ll spend his turns channeling the possession spell. The demons may be immune to Deathfog but theyre not immune to teleportation + mass corpse explosion

Lohse’s song was really touching and heartwarming to hear in game especially because its a good song but also the demon took music from her for so long

Malady really cares for Lohse much more than the other godwoken

The Dwarf Husband to be wants Ifan to kill his father in law, I think the bride’s health beeing poor is also sus. Funny you can interject to correct Ifan’s title, but love Ifan’s response “The man you seek is not who I am. Anymore. And I’ll not become him again for the likes of you”. Hits a lot of tropes I enjoy. 

I thought the exploding wedding cake was from the murderous groom but no its from the Demon Doctor. Wow he really was trying to kill every agent of the god king with maximum collateral damage

After the Isbeil fight Fane’s comment failing to see the issue of killing thousands of other reace to save thousands of his own race is 100% in character for pragmatism, except the plan wouldn’t have save dwarf lives and just empower the God King. Red Prince’s comments of how he might do the same with a pre-emptive attack is frightening considering he has dragons now. 

 I consumed Isbeil’s source, like yeah she did have the sob story of the Magisters deathfogging the elves but she’s clearly a threat if the god king can keep bringing her back. Also her sob story doesn’t justify the 564 prisoners she killed in monstrous experiments

I wanted to see what would happen if you do release the deathfog then reload, Beast and Ifan immediately turn on you but the rest of the companions will stick with you and not say much. Shame there wasn’t more budget for character interaction there

Beast actually leaves Justinia’s fate fully in your hands, not many other companion quests do that. While Justinia seemed to have gone along with the Deathfog plot pretty willingly and executed dissenting nobles, killing her would leave a power vacuum that Beast wouldn't step up and fill because as Justinia points out he wasn’t helping rule he was off being a pirate. (also feels good to have them sort of reconcile)

This game would be sooo much better with 0 spiders in the sewers and containers that have the spider legs. I had to pause playing and go walk around since it was bad for my phobia

I had Beast wear the Tyrants’ set all the way from getting it to most of Arx but the Devour’s set has better stats. I’ve kept Ifan with his shadow’s eye crossbow because I haven’t found any others to do piercing, its outclassed by other crossbows with base damage but that piercing is really good. 

Karon finally show up again, I’m not sure if he was demon possessed or just extremely obsessed with what he believed he was owed, but I talked him into finding peace and so his spirit moved on. Thats the last sidequest in Arx done

The puppet battle with the switch fucking sucks, source vamparism was supposed to work but they just kept spawning and crowd controlling my team. So on reload I just maxed stealth with Lohse and had her pull the levers out of combat. Having a pipe puzzle than this combat puzzle right before the boss kind of kills the momentum

Aww really cute romantic makeout moment with Ifan, where he says he can’t wait for Divinity to be over to live a human life

Not suprising the Eternals claim they could come back but it would kill all the other mortal races. Theres got to be a name for this trope, I can think of 2 other games that have a similar plot

Sir Lora and Quercus had moments of being cute but on the whole were really annoying, dying to traps a few times and getting stuck and damaged by AOE attacks

On the “Fane is my father” reveal I’m not sure if that’s Fane’s liefmotif or the Eternals one. I was kind of spoiled about Dallis being Fane’s daughter a while ago, I really want to know if there is unique dialogue for player character Fane, but lmao imagine getting here and Fane was left behind in Act 1

Annoyed I can’t call Lucien out for Deathfogging the elves. He can’t be trusted with power, Ifan says it best “Surrender my Source? [Lucien] should surrender his life”. Anyway started combat as Ifan put down a deathfog barrel, teleported it to back of room, got 2 more AP from killing the Gheist, and then teleported Lucien into it. Ez clap

The Anathema was really disappointing, breaks in 1 hit so I had to set up a multi step combo buffing Beast for it to be worth it

Damn, Lohse and Red Prince both said they wanted Divinity for themselves and turned on me. Lohse’s Attitude was 79, and Red Prince’s Attitude was 75 (not surprising because I didn’t chose the best dialogue choices with him trying to stay in character). The rest of the companions attitudes were low 80s and higher and I wonder if that made a difference. Also watching videos I wonder if I missed companions interjecting since it usually defaulted to my player character

I think Sebillie would be as shocked as me that at the last minute they change their mind after backing me before. So when pressed in a last minute decision she won’t say yes. My reasoning for Sebille not backing Lohse was her willingness to snuff out all the souls Adrahmalik had taken out of self interest. The Red Prince in the past said he’s fine not being Divine but when its in his grasp he changes his mind and wants the power for expansion. I don’t see Sebille EVER backing him. 

Oh Almira definitely enthralls you if you let her kiss you at the ending.

From Sebille ascending to Divine ending: I really like Gareth’s ending arc, you can say you’re friends and he’s dedicated to figuring himself out. Ifan’s dialogue is really sweet with the romance, he wants to return to the forest to help rebuild and doesn’t want to serve the Divine even though you’re different from the last one

That you can grab Fane’s arm like he did to you in Act 1 is great, I imagine Sebille was just WAITING to do that back. He has some really touching dialogue about learning to move on and appreciate the world and its wonder. His big regret is that if his people were brought back that they wouldn’t live in peace with everyone else

Canon ending as Sebille killing The Red Prince and Lohse, and living with the regret that they forced her hand as she ascends to Divinity. I thought that you could kill Dallis and Lucien and sacrifice your Source and Lucien wouldn’t get the credit because he would be dead, but he does get the credit and Ifan hates you for it. Which makes sense because the magisters committed atrocities and they continue to stay in power.

No perfect ending, either the world continues the fight against the God-King and Driftwood is wiped out vs Lucien becomes the Lord Emperor of all of Rivellon which has to go much worse than the ending cards mention and theres a growing threat from demons. In that ending it seems to go a bit better for some companions, but Sahelia only refrains from violence because Sebille took the power of the Mother Tree and Saheila’s mother is still alive. In neither ending did the red dragons get mentioned at all nor did it show up in the ending fight as was mentioned. Giving Source back to the world is probably the worst option right above God-King or Eternals return

In the ideal ending Lucien is dead, Dallis isn’t, we give up our Source, and all the companions would be alive. It feels railroaded that you can go through the effort of fighting Lucien, Dallis, and Braccus Rex then give up your source and it differs not at all from agreeing to give up your source from before the fight. 

[transient-ichor]

To be a the hero, what a terrible curse. It addles the mind, corrupts the body and infects the soul. Each God only chooses one hero to defend their might and glory. When the hero is chosen they practically become a minor deity. Some of these heros become beasts of burden unable or unwilling to speak only to tend the fields, watch the animals and put hammer to anvil day after day. Others are machines of death and destruction their armor adhered to their skin their weapons grafted to what used to be a hand, all from many years of battle and no rest. The heros that are chosen by the gods of the common man, the blacksmiths and those who tend the fields are viewed and treated as draft animals. Ones that never die nor need food or drink of course. However those who were chosen by the gods of war and death are avoided until they are needed. Those battle hardened heros, their stench unbearable. What they look like wasn't mush better despite their immortality they do not heal unless it is required to serve their duty. Thus their skin is decayed and rotting their hair in matted clumps the only thing still keeping their organs in their ches being the armor that never seems to show decay. I remember when I met him, the servant of the God of War. His name now long forgotten the remnants of his hand gripped the blade tightly and fiercely as if expecting a battle any moment. Yet when he, or she I could not tell, turned to face me I saw a great sorrow in their eyes. It wasn't that of a dog's sorrow or that of a horse but a genuine human sorrow. So in that moment I did what no one else had ever done. I approached them and asked if I could provide for them a place to rest remove their armor in peace and eat. Their voice horse and guttural from the many eons of shouting orders and screaming in pain replied.

"Yes, I would like that very much" so that's what I did. I led them to my home and prepared them a room with a pot of stew, five loaves of bread a bushel of apples and some jam for them as well as a bed and some regular clothes.

It took them 7 days to come out of that room for the first time. They no longer donned their armor but a simple tunic and leather breeches I had left ac them miraculously their skin had returned albeit scabed and flakey. I could also tell that they had once beautiful golden hair and gorgeous green eyes. They said they need to walk for a bit so while they walked and felt the warm sun on their skin I cleaned and restocked the room they stayed in. All the food had been eaten yet their sword stayed grafted unto their hand. When they returned I asked then if I could help them try and remove it. Astounded they said yes and we went to work. It took us 4 hours and much screaming and loss of blood but it was finally removed and their hand bandaged. They went back to their room to eat or sleep and I look the sword to wash it and remove the skin that had binded to the leather.

When the champion of the God of War had recovered they look like a normal human. Once again they had donned theuir armor and had their blade in the scabbard upon their back they carried a new pack I had obtained for them, it had food and a sleeping pack as well as some medical items and clothes, just in case. they thanked me and left.

A day later I awoke to a messenger of the gods, I was offered the title and task "hero of heros", I refused. Not only did I refuse but I told the messenger to tell the oh so "great and mighty" parthenon of the gods. "Even though I refuse your title I will take care of the heros because I am human".

The Divine blessing of “Hero” granted by the gods is one of the worst kinds of mind control, slowly destroying the personality of the blessed individual. You are the only one who is able to look at the “Hero” and see them as a person rather than a living weapon and offer them comfort.

[trisockatops]

I did manage to get done a fair bit of unpacking/moving stuff this weekend, so at least there's that.

Emptied out my old place (mostly was food and waiting for my new fridge)

Finished cleaning my old place

Checked mail at old place one last time

Left keys in old place

Finally unpacked the kitchen (I think final placements for all the pantry stuff is a work in progress, but everything has a home except for my hoard of spices I'm waiting for more storage for), so it's actually fucking usable

Deposited a check

Washed dishes

Bought the cutest lil crowbars meant for pulling up siding/flooring

Pulled up the siding so there's more room for my eventual range (which was an adventure that meant pulling out the cabinet and stacking up chairs to step over it because I'm afraid it would collapse under my weight)

Got rid of some excess chairs I bought for a specific counter that I haven't had a use for really in three places now

Recycled a buttload of boxes and got them out of my house

Put up some privacy window covers

Put down shelf liners in the old shelves and drawers

Cleared up the living room and started to decide how that's going to be organized

Finally have room to work out again with my workout station organized

God rid of an old rug that was apparently falling apart (went to put it in its place and the bottom just disintegrated everywhere)

Did a load of laundry at my old place so I don't have to bother my sister and see if I can use her washer/dryer since she's mad at me and I don't want to annoy her

Paid utilities still pending on old place

Sent out Christmas cards (late lmao but whatever, not like anybody sent me one anyway)

Found my SIL's birthday present while looking for unrelated supplies for cleaning my old place (holy shit it was so frustratingly hard to find a pumice stone to clean the grimy sink)

Things I need to do now:

Put up curtains everywhere

Put towels in the built in bathroom cabinet so I can get rid of the falling apart keeper I was storing towels in and move a piece of furniture to the living room to the bedroom so I can potentially keep my big chair

If not, throw out my big chair

The old water heater in the backyard is bugging me, so drag that to the front and call the city for disposal

Put up shelves so I can unpack 1 of my 2 last boxes (it's all decorative stuff there's no room for now since all my old places had nooks and crannies to put things on)

Put up art on wall or commit to painting the place

Plug in a bunch of surge protectors so I actually have places to plug shit in

Tape the internet cord to the wall since ofc it's right in the only space I have for working out

HANG THE DAMN TOWEL HOLDER AND TOILET PAPER HOLDER IN THE BATHROOM

Commit to either getting correct gas/electric installed for a range

Purchase a range before prices go up again (the one I was looking at went up $500 and is out of my budget now, grr)

Start the mushroom grower thing my siblings got me for Christmas

Call the bank because I accidentally transfered money to my fucking CD instead of the actual account I wanted to use. I also need to update my address and I was wanting to start some powerflex accounts with them so it needed done anyway but fuck that's gonna be a mess

[consistent-self-destruction]

I'd rather talk about this on my astro blog, because it's just fitting, but I really don't wanna step foot in there until I've organized and cleaned it up LMFAO, maybe it's the libra rising in me I don't know.

I tried writing in my physical journal as well because I wanted to give my eyes a break from my screen, but I just didn't feel like using my hands. It's too hot and my hands get clammy real easily :/

Anyways, I was going to write about this thing I read recently that I can't stop thinking about. I came across an astro-post the other day on house stellium astrology (which I should really study more). And it provided these little one-liners for stelliums in each house.

I have a 2nd house stellium - a sag mercury, a sag venus, and a scorpio mars. And the liner was just too fitting, please. "To Possess or Be Possessed." .. first of all fuck you 😭. Like! Jeez, what a way to say "you either own shit or you are the shit being owned." And unfortunately, my stellium manifests energetically in my life as the latter.

It's so eeeevil how true it is, and how FRUSTRATING it is and the way that I can't even help it. And I also am so jealous of anyone with the same stellium who is the one "possessing" instead of being possessed.

I don't have a lot of anything to my name, and trying to GAIN possessions has been the most relentless pursuit of my LIFE. Whether it was actual material possessions - physical things I've wanted, money, or abstract things like comfort, stability, emotional and mental peace and stability, and even love and people. It's never been easy for me at all. I've always had to beg for it, put myself on the floor for it and pray. I'm still praying and begging for the things I want all the time. I've always felt a lack thereof in everything, and I've always had unmet needs and desires that have been so frustrating because the things I really want seem to come so easily for everyone else.

Then on the other hand, while I struggle to "possess" things, I find that I am constantly the one BEING possessed by EVERYTHING. From fears and the future, to the circumstances of my reality, my own emotions, people and the way I feel for and about them - I am always at the mercy of ALL of it and it's suffocating. I feel everything so. fucking. intensely. It's exhausting. Because every day of my life, whatever I'm going through has me at my wits end. Whether I'm coping with family shit, another failed romantic endeavor, or even just trying to exist comfortably and grow towards better places and a better me - the emotions that come with all of it are so consuming and truly just POSSESSIVE of me. I have to have a few hours a day to just be INSANE about whatever's going on in my life before I go back to some kind-of normal. And then I need another couple hours to you know pace the room, scream at the mirror, cry, have an identity and existential crisis, a few violent fantasies, some evil daydreams, then regular daydreams, and listen to music before I've again gotten it out of my system until all the anger and hurt and frustration inevitably rises back to the surface again later.

It's so much. All the time. I'm constantly possessed by all of it all the time.

And like to get more astrologically technical, the way that I experience this "possessed" energy of the stellium only makes more sense given the specific placements that I have in it. I mean the scorpio mars says it all really. And I have a love-hate relationship with that placement. Cause while I like the way that it makes me a more passionate person, I hate how intense it is. Scorpio is an intense sign enough, but to have its energy fall in the planet of action and drive and anger and aggression and desire and sex, like seriously it's just TOO. MUCH. I swear to god my libra rising is constantly hanging by a THREAD trying to conceal all that psycho crazy. I'm not trying to scare people away! You don't need to know or feel the way I want your soul.. I can keep that to myself. But the intensity always finds a way out anyway. I just can't help it. And the sag energy doesn't help at ALL. I'm on the cusp of sag in my sun as well so there's just a whole lot of that all around. But to have my sag in mercury and venus ALL in the 2nd house of possession? You'd THINK it'd make me financially lucky given that the 2nd house is more about material possession and wealth. But fucking UNFORTUNATELY for me, the energy to has to manifest in the REVERSE. If there's any financial luck in that house then it sure is taking its sweet mf time. So instead of experiencing the energy of the stellium in a financial way, I've experienced it in a emotional way. Both sag mercury and venus are already really passionate placements. They're fire signs in the planet of communication and love. So I'm naturally chatty and eager. I love romance and meeting new people and making new experiences and everything right up that alley. But the thing about having that energy in the second house, is that I guess it's more consuming than you'd expect. You really are possessed by everything about it - in romance and meeting new people and making new experiences, there is thrill and there is fear and I find myself in the throes of it all. I get wrapped up in the thrill. I love it and I chase it and I need because it's exciting and makes me giddy - like the butterflies you get when you have a crush on someone? I don't just feel it in my stomach, I feel it in my heart and in my skin and sometimes it's just BURSTING out of me. The same thing with new experiences and people. Everything new is so fun and exciting and I get easily consumed by it. But I get just as consumed by the fear of it too. There's the fear of being bad at something new, not understanding something new, looking stupid in the midst of something or someone new, and meeting someone who you really really want and come to really care about and being TERRIFIED to lose them. That's the worse fear of ALL. It's like all the air being sucked out of a room or the floor being ripped out from right under you. The panic I get over losing someone I deeply care about can literally feel LIFE threatening. The ups and downs of those kinds of emotions are so draining. So throw in the intensity of that scorpio mars - its anger and its hurt over everything. Being lied to and deceived over and over and over again and disappointed over and over and over again and just everything else.

Imagine all of that - thrill, fear, anger, hurt, excitement, possibility, disappointment, loss, betrayal - consuming you and possessing you all. the time.

Ask me how the fuck I feel LMFAO. My libra rising will lie to you with pleasure and tell you I'm fine.

I wish to be free from the grip of all of it. To just not care, GENUINELY. To say I don't give a fuck and really MEAN it. To throw all my fucks out the FUCKING window and never see them FUCKING come BACK T.T I want to let it all go and never have any of it return. I want to be free of fear and every other fucking emotion that consumes me because while it's lovely to be made of star dust, this shit is literally choking me dawg.

And I think the worst but most interesting part of it all, is the way that being possessed like this is really breaking me. And damaging me in a really fucked up way. I've been rewatching steven universe lately because it's always been my absolute favorite comfort show. And I've been thinking about the concept of corruption in the show, and I loved the way garnet explained it. How it's like if "MC Bear Bear didn't tear the fabric of his skin but rather the fabric of his mind." And then the corrupted gems are these lost beastly creatures who are deeply wounded inside and nothing but a bundle of constant desperation, confusion, and frustration. That's what it's like. Like a caged animal. Like wearing handcuffs on for too long, trying to wriggle out of them for too long, and your wrists getting cut up and bruised from putting up with it and your brain breaking from the frustration of putting up with it and how LONG you've put up with it. I feel myself twisting and tearing inside and THAT'S what it feels like to be possessed. Like a stuffed animal, ripped and pulled apart by the seams, left to lay in all its stuffing. I never had a chance.

[lovedetlost]

Rant ahead:

I saw your post about clothing and I aspire to be like you. I have so many clothes I don’t wear but I’m so afraid to alter them cause in the past when I’ve tried I always ruin it haha.

Also I am becoming more aware and think I am kind of a hoarder (idk if that’s the right word) because it’s not the stereotypical hoarder you think of where they can’t throw away anything and are usually messy. I on the other hand can get rid of things I know are dirty or trash, and I am my very clean and organized, but it’s getting harder to be because I just have so much stuff that I know I don’t need but feel like I (or someone else) spent money on it, I should keep it. And I’m always like what if one day comes where I need/want it? This is definitely a big thing for clothes and shoes but also like I have all my notebooks/ assignments from years ago that realistically I will probably never need again, but then I freak out cause what if I actually do need it.

BABY YOU ARE ME!!! okay i was never a thrifter and an alterer, it's a recent hobby out of pure necessity. but you have to take the plunge! start small, crop a jumper that sits on you funny, add a contrast stitch, shorten a dress. and then as you feel more comfortable and understand the machinations of it branch out, bring in a dress to fit your body shape, buy a larger size skirt and attempt to bring it in. BUT FOR YOUR FIRST MAJOR ALTER BUY A CHEAP CHEAP THING FROM A CHARITY SHOP THAT YOU'RE NOT EMOTIONALLY ATTACHED TO. also youtibe or tiktok it. that's been a huge huge help god bless the internet haha

honey i am a maximalist through and through. more is more. i want knick knacks, keepsakes, every piece of clothing i've ever worn in case i fall back in love with it. every notebook i've ever touched, i have multiple copies of my favourite books, and if i like something, i want it in ever colour. marie kondo says if it doesn't bring you joy bail on it, but it all brings me joyyyyy.

i also do not plan on changing that i am proud of my ability to make a building/space feel comfortable, feel like a home. i find rooms without personality a red flag. so be proud of it baby. be proud of you.

[mildsmoothfun]

My Grandparents - all but one survived these KILLING MACHINES created by the liberalconservatives (THEY STILL ONE PARTY), who also funded them, ran by the #churchofEngland #vatican #united churches. CHILDREN ABUSED in every HORRIC MANNER you can think of, many killed, many disappeared never heard of again. Families left behind still grieve for loss of Culture, Language, Spirituality, Faith, Hope, wondering THEIR/OUR own lands and question how can a German Monarch on the British throne think that he does not need to apologize ort pay restitution? My parents went to these schools, my mother was about 9 years olf, she was holding my uncles hand reassuring him all will be fine. The nuns saw her and beat both of them up. An 8 year old and 6 year old beaten for holding hands. I went to a Day School, where i was beaten by other CHILDREN, which was started and allowed to happen by a teacher - just because i was sharing licorice with other boys. I was humiliated in class by questioning their god, hit so hard on the side of the head that i am still in the process of the 40 year of the ear injury. I was thrown into a clost or cleaning room to be then bent over a sink pants pulled down and whoever it was - i can only remember the smell of smoke, and a man telling me to call him DADDY, Then spreading my ass cheeks wide enough foir him to lick his hand and then wipe it across my ass then shove... well DADDY'S know what comes next right? ANd for carrying this around with me for nearly 50 years, I was 5 years old my second year at school, i am offered a DEHUMANIZING AND DEVALUING OF LIFE payment by the #liberalpartyofcanada and their partners in CRIIME the #conservatives $200,000. All offered in an a agreement i had no say in. What is worse the ones to decide my fate are accountants, a british owned accounting firm #delloite ... its like the nazi party deciding if what hitler did was good or bad for me. Even sadder is the fact that VOTERS don't care as they made and still are making money off OUR GENOCIDE, they will vote in these same two parties. GENOCIDE is BAD when PUTIN does it, but not when the british backed liberals or conservatives because they make you money... well that money you make has the BLOOD OF CHILDREN for yesterday, today & yes tomorrow. So Daddy's Thank you for making me feel like i was a part of something bigger. I/we marched with you when we fought oppression, homophobia, hatred.... BUT NOT ONE #LGBTQIA organization is marching in our behalf. NOT ONE #LGBTQIA organization is denouncing the CRIMES of their funders, they just keep taking the money. NOT ONE#LGBTQIA organization is BARRING The Liberals and Conservatives from their parades WHY? MONEY. We were NEVER a FAMILY, we were just MONEY TO YOU and to save face you added us to your rainbow. PRIDE = GENOCIDE. Prove me WRONG START MARCHING on BEHALF of the THOUSANDS of CHILDREN that have been and will be recovered from unmarked graves. They are searching 4 of these tools of GENOCIDE on my Reserve/Concentration Camp. Oh yes i did go to UNIVERSITY to learn all of this. Tell me would you be The saddest thing about this is not the lives lost, the horror of the ongoing recovery of our ANCESTORS, the

[asphodel-flowers]

I put out flowers for the Lady because She specifically requested it when She called to me in the first place. Just $5-10 premade bouquets from the grocery store, put in a vase. I haven't needed to hide my paganism even then but the space/ altar for Her at the beginning tended to be pretty incognito/ not obvious.

Whenever any organic offerings are done, regardless of which god they were for in the first place, it goes into the compost, which makes it an offering to Her again.

Used to also turn/ recycle that into a yet another offering(s?) when that compost was used for the plants I tried to keep or grow as a devotional act.

Unfortunately, the plants I've kept always ended up dying tbh. Guess I apparently have a black thumb, not a green one. Oh well. An Attempt Was Made.

Oh, and I've lit red candle(s) for Her, usually in Autumn tbh, and green in the Spring.

In general, I think She is very easy that way: any plants, flowers, greenery, and acts like gardening. I think she'd also greatly appreciate anything to do with spirit and ancestry work (though that's a bit more intensive) but especially tending the dead: cleaning graves, etc. Quiet and contemplative things, I think.

She's always encouraged me towards therapy and healing, especially calming and centering practices like meditation.

She also feels like water over rocks to me. I've always wanted to put a small desk fountain on an altar for her, on the western side of a room. I'm not sure if that counts as upg as there are some associations for Persephone with specific streams related to her kidnapping myths iirc.

heeyy i have some questions for the Hades, Persephone and Apollo devotees out there. actually, my question goes to anyone who i suppose has an answer.

i have a few questions about offerings: personally i feel anxious putting out obvious offerings (cause im closeted and my family constantly just gets in my room, always asking what is this and that and the other and i can nit for thw live of me say something rhat isnt the truth lol) and i can not afford much when it comes to offerings. sometimes i do, sometimes i dont.

how frequently do you give offerings?

if i give a food offering would it be ok if i at least fed the stray cats in my yard with it?

would me eating or drinking something in honor of them be considered an offering?

do you have any ideas of non physical offerings?

thank you for your time, have a good day!!

(if i dont answer your comment it is because this is a side blog)

[valkyrayn]

a day in the life of vincent as marius von hagen’s personal assistant

Pairing: Marius von Hagen x afab!reader/rosa/mc

Words: 589 words

Tags: vincent's pov, dirty talking

part of his job is to stay by his side at all times. he’ll answer calls for him, organize his schedule, follow him to business meetings and make sure he doesn’t miss a meal.

the less fancier part of his job is having to stand in front of doors and hallways to keep people out because master marius is busy fucking his girlfriend in the room, toilet, office and literally anywhere that has a surface.

nevertheless, vincent is a professional and he has a list of excuses memorized in the event that someone is looking to meet him while he’s occupied

“apologies, master marius is occupied at the moment. he has to take an important overseas call—“

“fuck!”

“…to discuss the details on the recent failed proje—“

“oh—fuck marius yes ye—YES!”

“…—ct. so it’s best not to disturb him at the moment.”

vincent remains expressionless, unfazed by the loud moaning from behind the doors. maybe if he pretends he doesn’t hear it, they’ll believe it

lookout duty is one of the easiest parts of the job. the cleaning, however

vincent always has a sealed bag of disposable cloth, sanitizer spray, and face mask on him at all times. master marius’ girlfriend is a…*coughs* squirter. and thanks to their vigorous fucking, the mess is always a nightmare to clean. young master’s girlfriend often tries to clean the mess herself, bless her. but at times when they have to rush off somewhere else afterwards, vincent is left on cleaning duty.

“sorry i filled you up so full today that you can’t keep it all in…” and master thinks he’s whispering this to her but his voice is actually loud enough for vincent to hear. yet he remains unbothered as he wipes down the office table and floor, pretending that these are not bodily fluids.

and on days when master brings his girlfriend on business trips with him, vincent is equipped with soundproof headphones. because god, they are fucking loud. you’d wish it was just the moaning that can be heard.

“fuck jiejie so tight—fuck!” followed by lewd squelching noises and skin smacking against skin.

“breed me please…”

“mmm…so lewd jiejie. say that again.”

“fill me up with cum please…please…” and then it’s the sound of headboard knocking against the wall in a steady rhythm and then it’s fast…faster…louder and then it stops—followed by breathless grunts and groans as master unloads every drop of his cum inside his girlfriend’s womb.

and the silence only lasts for 15 minutes before they’re going at it again. and it’s always more intense and louder than the previous one.

at the other side of the wall, vincent—all dazed from the wine, is palming his erection over his pants, unaware of how his headphones had run out of juice 20 minutes ago.

when his senses return, he stares at his hand wide-eyed and quickly retrieves it, embarrassed at himself. vincent turns to his side and switches of the bedside lamp before calling the number labeled <3 on his phone.

“are they being loud again?”

“as always…”

“…are you turned on by it?”

“what? no!”

“babe…”

“…okay fine. i am. i wish you were here.”

his boyfriend chuckles over the phone. “well, open the door then.”

vincent frowns. the sudden knock on his hotel room door startles him.

“your boss flew me over, so you don’t feel lonely.”

and as he lay in his boyfriend’s arms that night after their own loud romp session, he’s reminded of how lucky he is, to be marius von hagen’s personal assistant.

————

a/n: i just needed to write down this brainrot cus i feel for vincent sm. marius needs to give vincent a raise. also my hc for vincent is that he has a loving boyfriend 🥺

[buckybarnesdiaries]

a place called home

© credits to the author, i found it on google. if you own it, send me a message to add your @.

bucky barnes x reader. ⎢ masterlist.

Request by @dora-wolfram-blog: Hi <3 so happy to see your requests are open! How about ex Avenger reader who can manipulate the forces of nature and she comes to help Sam? (Idk maybe calling fish from the sea so his family can sell and earn enough money for the boat?) There she meets Bucky who she briefly met after endgame and they get to know each other? Domestic stuff is my weak spot so thank you so much luv u <3

word count: 1.206 words.

warnings/tags: none. bucky being a gentleman and sam a pain in the ass as always.

author notes: none of my stories contain reader’s body descriptions to be inclusive.

Join the tag list here.

Saying that Bucky and you were friends wasn’t something exactly. You fought together a couple of times before you retired from superhero life. Like many of them, the war had finished and you chose calm over being a private agent. More or less like the ex-soldier, with the difference that he went to New York and you didn’t be able to find a home until Sam made you a call. He was quite the opposite of Bucky for you, connecting since the very first second you met. After he told you about his sister’s financial trouble, he offered you a roof to sleep under in exchange for your powers to control the tide and promote the movement of fish stocks. Of course, it was a hit, and you finally found peace in Delacroix. A celebration was inevitable, it was part of Wilsons’ DNA, but you weren’t expecting Bucky to show up with Sam; although he told you in your last call that they were working together. Or something like that.

As soon as your eyes laid on him among the crowd, you knew he had changed after more than six months without seeing each other. You couldn't help but feel happy for Bucky when you saw him smiling for the first time. He had a beautiful and innocent smile, seeming like a new man. Renovated, with want to live, enjoying playing with kids and talking to old men about war stories.

You had placed your back against an oak column, away from the crowd but close enough to check on everyone, in case they need help with anything. A beer was resting against your lips, doubting on continuing drinking, lost in your thoughts. There was something about Bucky going from one side to another, laughing unworried, that had fully captivated your attention. You weren't able to stop looking at him, chuckling when you saw one of Sam's nieces putting a magnet with the form of a crab on his left arm.

“I have that teen-in-love's face on camera”.

You frowned at Redwing some inches away from your face. As a response, you tried to slap it down. But your friend was faster than you controlling that thing.

“He looks good, uh?”

“Oh, shut up…” You replied by clicking your tongue and rolling your eyes, having a sip from your drink to put your eyes away to the sea.

“He asked if you'd be here… Just saying”.

“Shut up, Samuel!” You implored, rubbing the bridge of your nose.

As the night went on and the guests started to leave, Sarah asked you to take Jim and Jody home while she stayed there cleaning with his brother about the business. You were exhausted too, and she noticed it. And after saying your goodbyes, you headed to the parking where your car was stationed, carrying the younger Wilson onto your arms —peacefully sleeping— as his big brother was yawning loudly. At that point, you realized that it was going to be a tough mission to put them in the car.

“Wait! Lemme help”.

The male voice coming from behind you made you turn around and before you could react, Bucky was taking Jody from your arms to his. You smirked softly in response, looking for the key in the right pocket of your jacket to unlock the car. The soldier tucked the younger in the back seat, placing the belt around him as Jim occupied the other side of the SUV.

“It's been good to see you”. You said after closing the door, staying outside in front of him.

“Same”. He replied, not knowing what else to say.

Puckering your lips and clapping the key on your palm, you nodded with your chin, feeling the nerves running through your veins. “Good night, Bucky”.

“Good night, (Y/N)”.

You gave him your back, sighing inappreciably, to open the pilot's place and came in.

“He— Hey, wait”.

“Uh?”

“Sam told me… you were tired. I might give you a ride back home. I can wait for him there”. The offering made you glance towards him, already sitting in your car but with a leg rest on the ground. “If you want, I mean…”

Of course he did (...). That son of a bitch had the audacity to push you onto the other. You bit your inner cheek, landing your eyes on the wheel. Yes, you were tired. You woke up at five to sail with Sarah, then you organized the party and cooked for it. You hadn't had a single second of rest during the whole day. And Sam took advantage of it, feeling like he was some kind of Cupido. And you had to recognize that it was also very considerate coming from Bucky.

“I'd appreciate it… actually”. You ended up agreeing, stepping out to give him the keys and ceding your seat.

The ride was silent between the two of you, hearing some quiet indie music playing on the radio while you fought against your brain to stay awake. Luckily, it didn't take him too long to reach Sarah's house —although you were barely keeping your eyes open at this point. Again, he helped you with the kids, walking indoors and following you to their respective rooms. You tucked Jim and Jody on their beds, making sure they were comfy before placing a kiss on their foreheads and wishing them a good night. Bucky had rested his back against the wall, in front of the elder’s room, just waiting for you. And you could swear that you saw him briefly smirking because of the tenderness in your actions.

After closing the last door, you waved your head to urge him to follow you downstairs to the living room. With an exhausted sigh escaping your lips, you let your body fall on the sofa, curling on a side of it to give Bucky some space. You couldn’t help but yawn, turning on the TV by using the control remote.

“It’s good to have a home to come back”.

“Yeah… After all the shitty situations we’ve been through… We deserved a rest, don’t you think?” You replied grabbing a cushion from the floor, using it as a pillow over the armrest. “Sorry, I… I’m deadly tired…”

“Come here, that will hurt when you wake up”.

Bucky didn’t hesitate on beckoning to his arms, taking off his boots heel against heel to place both legs over the coffee table. You didn’t resist, knowing it would be comfier by his way. Sitting up, you lied to the opposite side, being wrapped instantly and snuggled against his warm body. Shameless, you rest your head on his right forearm, practically laying over his lap. But you felt good. You felt like it was a good reward after a long day, rolling down your eyelids and focusing on the caresses in your hair you didn’t know you needed.

For a moment, your mind wandered and fantasized about this last hour being part of your real life. Putting your kids to sleep and then cuddle with your husband till falling asleep. Smell Bucky’s strong and edgy scent. Your hands scratching his back. His fingertips stroking your scalp. Your legs laced (...)

Oh, God, Sam. What did you do?

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[wrenqueenisboss]

DSMP x gn!reader heacanons (reader with bad sleep schedule)

Them reacting to you having a really shitty sleep schedule. Warnings: cursing (mild), mentions of wounds, showed cuts, cleaning on injuries (tell me if I forget anything, please)

Dream:

(you and dream live together in Florida (without Sapnap))

Dream had been in a call with Sapnap and George for hours and it was 2 am at this point

he had been screaming/shouting and laughing so consistently you had developed a headache (another reason it was difficult to sleep)

he had recently broken another speedrun world record so he was celebrating with his besties 

you hadn’t gone to bed yet because you knew you wouldn’t be able to sleep without your boyfriend there

(both you and Dream really like cuddles. neither of you can sleep well without the other)

so you stayed on the couch, scrolling through twitter on your phone as you laid down

Finally, you heard Dream end his call, saying goodbye to his friends. His door creaked the slightest bit as he opened and closed it

Dream was so shocked to find you sitting on the couch at this hour. he was concerned too

“Babe? You’re still awake?”

you chuckled. “obviously”

he walked over to you and cuddled into your side. “You should be asleep. It’s late.” his voice was slightly muffled because of how he had his head nuzzled into your neck

“I couldn’t sleep without you there,” you mumbled, running your hand through his soft blond hair

Dream suddenly felt guilty “staying up this late really isn’t good for you. But if it helps you get to sleep, I’ll go to sleep earlier too”

you hummed happily before falling asleep cuddling your boyfriend

you were so tired you didn’t realize Dream had picked you up bridal style and taken you to your guys’ bed

Sapnap:

(you guys are in different houses for this) (he’s streaming and is also on a discord call with Karl and Quackity)

he was streaming at 2:30 in the morning when he got a random text from you “hi :) ,” it said

He rolled his eyes affectionately before responding “it’s late, idiot” “go to bed”

you sent back “I can’t” 

Sapnap looked back over at his stream. The chat was spamming questions on who he could be texting that would make him smile like that

finally, Karl from the discord call noticed how quiet Sapnap was being

“Sap? is everything okay?”

Sapnap looked up. “Oh yeah. I’m fine. I was just texting someone.”

“Who?” Quackity asked?

Sapnap made sure to mute on stream. “My partner.”

Karl and Quackity were shocked.

don’t worry, you and Sapnap had discussed that you were okay with his friends knowing about your relationship, but you wanted to keep it off stream and private

“You never told us you had a partner!” Karl said, happily.

“Well, I do. And they desperately want my attention, so I think I’m gonna end stream.”

“nooooo!” Karl and Quackity said dramatically in unison. “Your partner is evil, taking you away from us!”

Sapnap laughed then unmuted, giving an excuse before he ended stream to FaceTime you

George:

(you live in Brighton with George) (the internet knows you guys are dating. They ship you so much)

George was in a discord call (without camera on) at a pretty reasonable time, but you were exhausted

you hadn’t gotten more than four hours of sleep in the past three days

Wanting to be near George you just walked into his room

he whipped his head around, surprised by the sudden noise of you opening his door

he took one look at your tired face and asked “are you okay?”

You laughed. “No, not at all. My sleep schedule is shitty and I feel like shit. I haven’t gotten proper sleep in three days”

George winced.

Sapnap and Dream screamed hellos into George’s headphones which made him take them off with a grimace

He unplugged his headphones and you heard your boyfriend’s friends’ greetings

you unenthusiastically waved before speaking in a tired voice “I’m taking your best friend. He’s needed for Cuddle Duty”

George smiled and shook his head playfully as his friends shouted in protest

“no!” dream shouted. “He’s-” he wheezed like a broken tea kettle “he’s my boyfriend” (George rolled his eyes at that)

Sapnap yelled, “don’t take him!!!! you’re a best friend stealer, Y/n! Shame on you!”

You frowned with mock malice. “Well, suck it up. ‘Cause I’m taking him.”

George actually laughed at that. “I guess that’s it. Bye, guys! I’m gonna help Y/n finally get some good sleep.”

Wilbur:

Wilbur was doing a YLYL stream when he needed to go get a glass of water

keep in mind, it was sorta late. Like, midnight.

so he walked into his kitchen only to find you snacking on some popcorn (potato chips for my friends with braces ;] )

he looks at you with fond sadness “my love, why aren’t you asleep?”

you look up at him with a sheepish smile “Will, you know I have a very shitty sleep schedule. I’m not gonna sleep tonight, I don’t think.”

Wilbur frowned. “I think not!” he said, moving to hug you from behind

he rested his head on your shoulder, breathing in your scent

“we’re gonna go to bed,” he mumbles. “It’s late”

“Uh... not really,” you said. “midnight isn’t that late. And plus, you’re streaming.”

Wilbur frowned again, remembering his stream 

“Oh yeah, my stream. That’s fine, I’ll just end it early. Laugh at a couple videos to make the perfect excuse.”

“That’s actually... a good idea.”

“Why do you sound so surprised, Y/n?”

You just chuckled and gently pushed yourself off from the counter, prompting Wilbur to let go of you and step back

You walked to your shared bedroom to get in bed

As you tucked yourself into bed, you finally realized just how tired you were. Your eyelids began to close as you were lulled into sleep by the sounds of your boyfriend’s laughter next door.

c!Technoblade:

he was just coming back from a patrol (protecting your guys’ home) pretty late at night when he saw you brewing potions at your desk

because it was so late, you had several lanterns lit around your workspace so you could read the tomes and instructions that you needed

Tech honestly didn’t expect you to be up this late

The voices (who love you) immediately erupt with concern

‘are they okay?’ ‘why aren’t they asleep?’ ‘are they hurt?’ ‘if someone hurt them... blood for the blood god’ ‘they look so tired’

Techno dropped his weapons in one of his chests then began to undo his armor

Noticing his presence, you dropped what you were doing and hastily walked over to him

“Let me help you,” you murmured as your fingers undid the buckles and clasps of his armor one by one

He thanked you when the armor was stored away as well, taking some more time to examine you

your sleep-lidded eyes had dark circles under them. Your movements weren’t as precise as normal, and to put it plain and simple, you looked exhausted.

“My love,” techno prompted, gently tilting your head up to get a better look at your eyes and face. “is everything alright?”

you huffed. “not really. I can’t sleep anymore and it’s really getting to me. It’s making me so clumsy.”

Technoblade’s shook as he chuckled. “I could tell. I’m surprised you didn’t knock into table on your way over to me.” It was true. On your way over to help him with his armor, you nearly ran your knee right into the heavy coffee table in the living room

You rolled your eyes and pointed at your work table. The desk that was usually so neat and organized now looked like a mini tornado had ransacked it

“The exhaustion has me so clumsy I broke a glass. I made a mess trying to clean it up, too.” 

You raise up your arms to show him the cuts on your hands and arms. There was some dried blood on your arms as well.

The Voices in Techno’s head once again exploded with comments of concern. He takes your hands in his, gently brushing his callused fingers over your wounds.

“I’ll help you clean these up and then we’ll get to bed, okay?” He pressed a gentle kiss to your lips 

“okay”

and you do just that

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