#and I also had to go back to that hospital for covid and I did cry

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

wait, Derin how did your leaving make the hospital shut down?

I used to work as a live-in nanny for a pediatrician.

Now, the thing about hospitals in my country is that they are massively understaffed and massively underfunded. This is especially true outside the major cities. The staff are worked to the bone and receive little to no help in things like finding accommodation or childcare, making working in rural areas a very uninviting prospect; staff come out here, get lumped with the work of three people (because there's nobody else to do it), burn out under the workload and leave, meaning that those remaining have even more work because that person is gone. It's unsustainable and the medical staff are doing their best to sustain it, because people die if they don't, so to the higher-ups it looks like everything's getting done and therefore everything is fine.

My friend (and boss) worked one week on, one week off, swapping out with another pediatrician. This was necessary because it would not be physically possible for one person to handle the workload for longer periods of time. The one single pediatrician had to hold up the entire pediatrics ward, which was not only the only public hospital pediatrics ward in our town, but also the one that served all the towns around us for a few hours' drive in all directions. I regularly saw her go to work sick, aching, tired, or with a debilitating 'I can barely make words or see' level migraine, because if she took a day off, twenty children didn't get healthcare that day, and some of these kids' appointments were scheduled weeks in advance. She'd work long hours in the day and then be called in a couple of times overnight for an hour or two at a time (she was on-call at night too, because somebody had to be), and then go in the next day. Sometimes she would be forced to take a day off because she physically could not stay awake for longer than a few minutes at a time, meaning she couldn't drive to work.

Cue my niece's second birthday coming up in Melbourne. I'd been working for her for about 3 years, and she (and the hospital) had plenty of advance warning that I (and therefore she) needed one (1) Friday off. That's fine, we'll find someone to work that Friday, the hospital said. Right up until the last week where they're like "oh, we can't find a replacement; you can come in, can't you?"

No, she tells them; I don't have anyone to watch my kid that day.

Oh, surely you can hire a babysitter for this one day, they say. Think of the children! We really really need you to work that day. I know we said it'd be fine but we need you now, there's no one else to do it.

There are no other babysitters, she told them. Unless you can find one?

That's not our responsibility, they said.

But I'm not changing my plans, she's got plans by now as well, the hospital knew about this one day weeks in advance, and with absolutely no reserve staff they're forced to reschedule all pediatrics appointments for that Friday. Not a huge deal, it happens on the 'physically too overworked to get out of bed' days too. I go to Melbourne, she goes back to her home in Adelaide for her recovery week, all should be on track.

My niece gives me Covid.

This was way back in the first wave of the pandemic, and there were no Covid vaccines yet. The rules were isolate, mask up, hope. I had Covid in the house, and it would've been madness for my friend and her toddler to come back into the Covid house instead of staying in Adelaide. There was absolutely no way that a pediatrician could live with someone in quarantine due to Covid and go to work in the hospital with sick children every day. And no support existed for finding another babysitter, or temporary accommodation, so the hospital was down a pediatrician.

The other pediatrician wasn't available to do a three-week stint. They were also trapped in Adelaide on their well-earned week off.

Meaning that the only major pediatrics ward within a several-hour radius had no pediatricians. They had to shut down and send all urgent cases to Adelaide for the week. To the complete absence of surprise of any of the doctors or nurses; of course this would happen, this was bound to happen, it presumably keeps happening. But probably to the surprise of the higher-ups. After all, the hospital was doing fine, right? Of course all the staff were complaining of overwork and a lack of resources in every meeting, but they could always be fobbed off with the promise of more help sometime in the future; the work was mostly getting done, so the issue couldn't be too urgent.

It's not like some nanny who doesn't even work for the hospital could go out of town for a weekend for the first time in three years, and get the only public pediatrics ward in the area shut down for a week.

[infiniteglitterfall]

know someone who enjoys horror stories? share this one! it's true!

hahahahahahahahahaha aarrggghhhhhhhhhh 3,000,000 deaths due to COVID-19 last year. Globally. Three million. Case rates higher than 90% of the rest of the pandemic. The reason people are still worried about COVID is because it has a way of quietly fucking up your body. And the risk is cumulative.

I'm going to say that again: the risk is cumulative.

It's not just that a lot of people get bad long-term effects from it. One in seven or so? Enough that it's kind of the Russian Roulette of diseases. It's also that the more times you get it, the higher that risk becomes. Like if each time you survived Russian Roulette, the empty chamber was removed from the gun entirely. The worst part is that, psychologically, we have the absolute opposite reaction. If we survive something with no ill effects, we assume it's pretty safe. It is really, really hard to override that sense of, "Ok, well, I got it and now I probably have a lot of immunity and also it wasn't that bad." It is not a respiratory disease. Airborne, yes. Respiratory disease, no: not a cold, not a flu, not RSV.

Like measles (or maybe chickenpox?), it starts with respiratory symptoms. And then it moves to other parts of your body. It seems to target the lungs, the digestive system, the heart, and the brain the most.

It also hits the immune system really hard - a lot of people are suddenly more susceptible to completely unrelated viruses. People get brain fog, migraines, forget things they used to know.

(I really, really hate that it can cross the blood-brain barrier. NOTHING SHOULD EVER CROSS THE BLOOD-BRAIN BARRIER IT IS THERE FOR A REASON.) Anecdotal examples of this shit are horrifying. I've seen people talk about coworkers who've had COVID five or more times, and now their work... just often doesn't make sense? They send emails that say things like, "Sorry, I didn't mean Los Angeles, I meant Los Angeles."

Or they insist they've never heard of some project that they were actually in charge of a year or two before.

Or their work is just kind of falling apart, and they don't seem to be aware of it.

People talk about how they don't want to get the person in trouble, so their team just works around it. Or they describe neighbors and relatives who had COVID repeatedly, were nearly hospitalized, talked about how incredibly sick they felt at the time... and now swear they've only had it once and it wasn't bad, they barely even noticed it.

(As someone who lived with severe dissociation for most of my life, this is a genuinely terrifying idea to me. I've already spent my whole life being like, "but what if I told them that already? but what if I did do that? what if that did happen to me and I just don't remember?") One of its known effects in the brain is to increase impulsivity and risk-taking, which is real fucking convenient honestly. What a fantastic fucking mutation. So happy for it on that one. Yes, please make it seem less important to wear a mask and get vaccinated. I'm not screaming internally at all now.

I saw a tweet from someone last year whose family hadn't had COVID yet, who were still masking in public, including school.

She said that her son was no kind of an athlete. Solidly bottom middle of the pack in gym.

And suddenly, this year, he was absolutely blowing past all the other kids who had to run the mile. He wasn't running any faster. His times weren't fantastic or anything. It's just that the rest of the kids were worse than him now. For some reason. I think about that a lot. (Like my incredibly active six-year-old getting a cold, and suddenly developing post-viral asthma that looked like pneumonia.

He went back to school the day before yesterday, after being home for a month and using preventative inhalers for almost week.

He told me that it was GREAT - except that he couldn't run as much at recess, because he immediately got really tired. Like how I went outside with him to do some yard work and felt like my body couldn't figure out how to increase breathing and heart rate.

I wasn't physically out of breath, but I felt like I was out of breath. That COVID feeling people describe, of "I'm not getting enough air." Except that I didn't have that problem when I had COVID.) Some people don't observe any long (or medium) term side effects after they have it.

But researchers have found viral reservoirs of COVID-19 in everyone they've studied who had it.

It just seems to hang out, dormant, for... well, longer than we've had an opportunity to observe it, so far.

(I definitely watched that literal horror movie. I think that's an entire genre. The alien dormant under ice in the Arctic.)

(oh hey I don't like that either!!!!!!!!!) All of which is to explain why we should still care about avoiding it, and how it manages to still cause excess deaths. Measuring excess deaths has been a standard tool in public health for a long time.

We know how many people usually die from all different causes, every year. So we can tell if, for example, deaths from heart disease have gone way up in the past three years, and look for reasons. Those are excess deaths: deaths that, four years ago, would not have happened. During the pandemic, excess death rates have been a really important tool. For all sorts of reasons. Like, sometimes people die from COVID without ever getting tested, and the official cause is listed as something else because nobody knows they had COVID. But also, people are dying from cardiovascular illness much younger now.

People are having strokes and heart attacks younger, and more often, than they did before the pandemic started. COVID causes a lot of problems. And some of those problems kill people. And some of them make it easier for other things to kill us. Lung damage from COVID leading to lungs collapsing, or to pneumonia, or to a pulmonary embolism, for example. The Economist built a machine-learning model with a 95% confidence interval that gauges excess death statistics around the world, to tell them what the true toll of the ongoing COVID pandemic has been so far.

Total excess deaths globally in 2023: Three million.

3,000,000.

Official COVID-19 deaths globally so far: Seven million. 7,000,000. Total excess deaths during COVID so far: Thirty-five point two million. 35,200,000.

Five times as many.

That's bad. I don't like that at all. I'm glad last year was less than a tenth of that. I'm not particularly confident about that continuing, though, because last year we started a period of really high COVID transmission. Case rates higher than 90% of the rest of the pandemic. Here's their data, and charts you can play with, and links to detailed information on how they did all of this:

Here's a non-paywalled link to it:

https://archive.vn/2024.01.26-012536/https://www.economist.com/graphic-detail/coronavirus-excess-deaths-estimates

Oh: here's a link to where you can buy comfy, effective N95 masks in all sizes:

Those ones are about a buck each after shipping - about $30 for a box of 30. They also have sample packs for a dollar, so you can try a couple of different sizes and styles.

You can wear an N95 mask for about 40 total hours before the effectiveness really drops, so that's like a dollar for a week of wear.

They're also family-owned and have cat-shaped masks and I really love them. These ones are cuter and in a much wider range of colors, prints, and styles, but they're also more expensive; they range from $1.80 to $3 for a mask. ($18-$30 for a box of ten.)

[traveler-at-heart]

Doctor's In - Part 15

Summary: You rebuild your relationship with Wanda, one date at a time.

A/N: Hey, I guess I owe Team Wanda some fluff after everything hehe. Enjoy!

There’s excitement going around the hospital.

After having to push the xenotransplant one week, it seems like everything’s finally ready to go.

Though you’re excited for very different reasons.

Wanda’s finally coming back to Boston and you can’t wait to see her. You’ve been texting every day, sometimes calling whenever you have a minute.

It feels like when you started dating, and everything was new and magical. Your heart practically skips a beat when you get a call from her.

“Hey, gorgeous” you greet.

“Hello” Wanda says.

“Hi, good morning” Yelena answers and you glare.

“Not you. Sorry, Wands. Gimme a sec” you find an empty room. “There. How’s it going?”

“I’m doing good. Packing for tomorrow. And it looks like I’ll stay for a bit longer so we can definitely have dinner if you’re up for it” she says, and you make a little dance. “You still there?”

“Yes! And yes, let’s have dinner. I’ll ask around for some restaurants”

Maybe Strange or Christine can suggest a nice place for a date.

A date with Wanda! You’re so excited.

“Actually… do you mind if I plan it? You planned our first date and I’d really like to do it this time”

“Well, if you’re sure. I know you’re busy with work and traveling so I don’t mind”

“I got it, no worries” she says. “See you soon. Good luck on that big surgery”

“Just observing, but thanks either way”

“Bye”

“Bye, Wands”

You leave the room with a big smile, and Yelena hums.

“Did you have phone sex?”

“Gross. You’re one to talk, with your girlfriend Kate”

“That’s none of your business. And she’s not my girlfriend”

“Because you haven’t asked her yet” Natasha joins you.

“Long distance is too complicated” Yelena sighs, pushing the elevator button. She then turns to you. “No offense”

“Hey, Wanda and I are just talking. There’s no relationship right now”

“Right, which is why she sent you flowers and you’re texting and calling all day” Yelena mocks. She gets off on the second floor, as she has to check on some of your patients.

“What about you? Ready for the transplant?” you ask Natasha.

“Yeah, I’ll have to do post op which means less time on my research” she mumbles, clearly upset.

“Want help? I can stick around”

“I don’t want you to get in any trouble” Natasha says, avoiding your eyes.

“Hey, you’re my colleague and friend and there’s nothing wrong with helping you out. If that’s an issue in a relationship, then maybe I shouldn’t be in it”

Yes, you had barely survived. But every day you got up and made an effort to move on. This month had made it clear that you let work, and then your relationship be the driving force behind your life.

But now you want your happiness to be about doing what you love, and having someone who supports you as much as you support them.

“Are we friends now?” Natasha teases.

“Well, would you like to be? I mean, shit. I was an asshole to you, don’t feel like you have to say yes just because…”

“You know, when you ask someone a question, you should let them answer” she says. “Yeah, I’d like to be friends”

“Ok, cool. Wanna hang out sometime?”

“Let’s scrub in for now” she jokes and you nod, remembering why you’re here.

You follow her to the OR, full of doctors and nurses.

There are also cameras broadcasting to medical facilities around the world.

“Nice day to make history, everyone” Melina looks around the room. “Let’s begin”

Everyone nods, and there’s silence as the woman asks for a scalpel.

You interrupt that silence with a sneeze.

When you open your eyes everyone’s looking at you.

“Sorry. I must have a bit of dust on my nose” you say, embarrassed.

“No worries, Doctor Y/L/N” Melina says without looking up. “But get out of the OR”

“What? But, it’s nothing…”

“Let’s hope it isn’t” she says, glaring. “Now out”

—

A Covid and influenza test, general bloodwork, and chest X-ray later, Yelena comes by to check on you.

“How you doing?”

“Great. I love being locked up in a quarantine room while I get probbed and swapped everywhere. Would you like to add a colonoscopy while we’re at it?”

“Hey, you get a discount if you want one”

“Really? It’s not even free for the head of a department?” you ramble. “Ok, not the point! Yelena, I’m fine”

“You have a slight fever and a runny nose. It’s just a cold”

“Ok, let me out”

“Sure. But you can’t work. You have to go home”

“I’m fine” you say, but sneeze after that.

“Go home, rest. We’ve got this” Yelena unlocks the room for you.

“What? You gonna follow me around to sanitize anything I touch on my way out?” you challenge. Yelena lifts up a spray as if it were a gun, shrugging her shoulders.

“Maybe. Now, nice and easy. No sudden moves. Straight to the exit”

“I hate you”

—

It was hard saying goodbye to the kids. Even if their grandma and uncle were there to look after them, Billy and Tommy hugged Wanda a bit longer and waved until she went through airport security.

If it wasn’t for the fact that she’d see you that evening, Wanda would have decided to stay home, dream job be damned.

But now she’s in a middle of an editorial meeting, where Wendy Lawson’s team is looking at her sketches, making observations and pointing out changes. Wanda’s pleased to notice their feedback is mostly positive.

“It was so hard to find the right person” Wendy says when they’re talking over lunch. “But then I got a sneak peek at your new book and thought the art was beautiful”

“Thank you. I’m really proud of it” Wanda nods, remembering how much love and care went into it.

“And that story is so cute and funny. Those are the hardest ones to write”

“Actually, I was mumbling in my sleep and my girlfriend wrote it all down” Wanda smiles at the memory. “I really have to thank her”

“Oh, I have to meet her!” Wendy says, excited. Wanda nods, but doesn’t really know if the term girlfriend is accurate at this time.

Actually, she’s not sure if you should call each other friends or what.

“Wendy, can I ask you something?”

“You can ask me two things” the woman jokes, making Wanda smile.

“I know you wrote crime novels before switching to children stories… and you were a best selling author in the genre. Were you scared to make the change, or did you get any pushback?”

“I mean, my publisher reminded me how much better the money is before making the switch. And he told me I could try, but he also forgot how many of my adult readers have children. So it was a success” Wendy looks at Wanda with those piercing blue eyes. “Are you writing a murder mystery?”

“No, nothing like that” Wanda laughs. She doesn’t even like crime movies. “I was thinking about something… like a trilogy for young adults. Something that maybe my kids could read when they’re older too”

“Oh, that sounds fun! Tell you what, work on a draft and if you need any help to get traction, I’ll be more than happy to speak to some people”

“That means the world to me, thank you” Wanda smiles, excited at the idea of working in something new.

She’s still thinking about it while working, but the rest of the meetings keep her busy and she completely misses your call.

“Hey, Wands” you say on the voicemail. “I’m a little sick. Or a lot. I mean it’s just a cold, but I’m no fun right now, runny nose and constant sneezing considered. I’m so sorry because I was dying to see you but I gotta stay home. I’ll make it up to you, I promise”

Wanda’s never seen you get sick. Injured, yes. But not even so much as a sneeze after plowing snow early morning.

“Would you like a ride to the hotel?” Wendy’s assistant offers when they’re done with the meetings.

“Oh, I was actually going to stop by a friend’s house. She’s sick and I wanted to check on her”

Great, you told Wendy she’s your girlfriend, now you’re a friend. If Wanda keeps this up, you’re gonna end up being a distant cousin.

“I can drive you, no problem” the woman says.

Wanda’s grateful, even when Wendy’s assistant agrees to stop by to get some stuff at the grocery.

Since Wanda has no idea if you have any food (and knowing you, there’s probably nothing), she gets the basic stuff to make some soup and other things.

“Wow, that’s a fancy place”

“Yeah” Wanda agrees as they park outside, looking at the huge building with security. She hopes they let her in or she’ll be stuck with her luggage and the stuff she bought in the middle of the street.

Luckily, you do answer when the guard calls for you and you let Wanda in.

Her heart beats faster while the elevator goes up, and when the doors open she has to force herself to step outside. She’s struggling with all the stuff in her hands, so she’s caught off guard when you finally open.

“Wanda?” you say between coughs. “I thought it was the food I ordered”

You try to laugh, but it turns into a coughing fit.

“Hey, how are you? Sorry I couldn’t stop by sooner. Had a lot of meetings” Wanda apologizes.

You are wearing a hoodie, your nose is red and it looks like you were in the middle of a medicine induced nap.

“As much as I want to see you, I don’t want you getting sick. So you should probably…”

Wanda rolls her eyes, walking past you.

“I have two kids. Whatever it is you caught, I’m immune”

“Oh, immune, wow” you mock. “According to Yelena’s thourough testing, it’s nothing more than a cold”

“See? It’s fine” Wanda insists. “I couldn’t possibly leave you alone while you’re sick, detka”

“Thank you” you mutter, hugging her. Honestly, you rarely get sick but when you do, you absolutely hate it.

“No need to thank me” Wanda wants to sink in your arms and never let go, but she notices how warm you are. “You have a fever. Take a shower, and I’ll make some food for us”

“I don’t wanna shower” you complain, still clinging to her. “I wanna cuddle”

“Later” Wanda promises, butterflies dancing in her stomach at the idea of spending an evening in your arms.

You finally let go, and she feels a little guilty at how excited she is to take care of you.

While you shower, she opens the fridge, surprised to find there’s a lot of groceries and stuff to cook.

For a second, Wanda thinks you might have someone over that cooks because there’s no way…

While preparing everything for the soup, she glances around the penthouse. It’s luxurious and it’s clear you haven’t added anything to the decoration, except for the Polaroids in the fridge. There’s one with Yelena, and others with Kate and Natasha that are obviously from the gala you attended together.

The first drawing Billy made for you is also on the side of the fridge. You always kept it in your wallet, for good luck.

Of course, there’s nothing else of yours around, as all your stuff is in Wanda’s house.

Wanda feels overwhelmed by guilt when she realises she forced you to leave your home behind overnight.

“Hey” you come back, looking a bit better. “You didn’t have to cook, I ordered Chinese”

“Chinese? You’re supposed to be eating stuff like soup, my darling”

“I love your soup” you watch over Wanda’s shoulder as she stirs everything in the pot, your hand on her waist.

All your talk about going slow has gone out the window. You feel like shit and having Wanda here is the only thing that will make it all better.

“So, I noticed there’s a lot of stuff in the fridge…” Wanda tries to sound casual. But she’s dying to know if you’ve had someone over… like a date that cooks and spends the evenings with you.

“Yeah, I cook now” you smile, going back to sit at the counter. You let out a laugh at her shocked expression. “Nothing fancy. Pasta, easiest version of chicken parmesan. My roast beef is pretty fucking good, though”

“How?”

“Learned by watching the best” you smile adoringly at her. “But also, a lot of sleepless nights and YouTube tutorials”

“That’s fair. Will you cook for me one day?”

“Of course. Have to return the favor somehow, shouldn’t I? Unless you have other ideas” you tease as she hands you the  bowl of soup.

“Hm. I can think of a few” she looks down at your lips.

“Too bad I’m sick”

“Yes, too bad” Wanda smiles, knowing you’re messing with her.

You eat together, Wanda telling you about the book release happening soon and how amazing Wendy is. You smile at her enthusiasm, happy that she’s got so much going on for her.

“How are the kids?” you ask at one point.

“They enjoy being spoiled by their grandma” Wanda says, and that makes you smile. Though it goes away a second later.

“I didn’t mean to… make everything so hard for you. And hurt them. I’m sorry, Wanda”

“Hey, look at me” she asks, taking your face in her hands. “You didn’t… it’s fine. We’re fixing it, little by little. Right? We got this”

“Right” you lean your forehead against hers, wishing you could kiss her. But you’re not about to get her sick, and even if she was the one wanting to close the distance, you abruptly turn your head away, sneezing. “Ah, shit”

“Come on, let’s watch a movie” she says, smiling as you pout. “Wow, can you steal this couch? It’s so comfy”

“I know, I love it. Maybe I should have put it in my contract” you sink in it, and Wanda lets you rest on her legs, her hands going through your hair.

“What were you watching?”

“Dick Van Dyke show” you say. “The episode where Laura does the pool trick. I just love their faces, considering it was unscripted”

“What? No, that can’t be right” Wanda says. It’s one of her favorite shows, she would know.

“Uh, yeah!” you say like it’s obvious. “Mary Tyler Moore was supposed to pretend to do it, then they’d switch the angle of the camera to a stand in. But she pulled it off. You can totally see it in their faces”

“Ok, now I need to watch this. I can’t believe it” Wanda says, frowning as she rewinds the episode.

“Wanna bet dinner at a fancy place that I’m right?”

“Oh, you are so on” she laughs, smiling as you keep your head on her lap.

—

You’re driving to the airport in record time. An emergency surgery delayed you -not by much- but you’ll be damned if you don’t make the most of the time you get with Wanda.

Darcy’s calling and you press a button on the command center without taking your eyes off the road.

“Lesbian emergency services, how may I assist you?”

“Riddle me this, you big lesbo. Why did I bother with planning the sapphic parent trap if you’re not coming back anytime soon?”

“Good morning to you too, friend”

“I’m gonna kill Barnes. You have to come back”

“And I will. For Carol’s wedding. No sooner. I do appreciate you putting in the effort, though” you smile. “Here I was thinking you didn’t like Wanda, and you’re trying to get us back together”

“I don’t like her, but as I said, I’m going to kill Barnes” Darcy raises her voice, probably so Bucky can hear her. “So, what do you have planned for today?”

“Picking her up from the airport and then she has work. Will meet for dinner”

“Nice. Well, I hope she bangs you so hard you turn into a useless lesbian and she makes you come back to Westview”

“Aw, that’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me”

You’re about to say bye when Darcy clears her throat.

“Listen… I know I joke about you getting back together with Wanda. And honestly? I do want you to come back here and work with me again. But she said and did some nasty shit, Y/N. Don’t forgive her because you feel like you have to. At least make her work for it a bit? It’s nearly impossible with how whipped you’ve always been, but… couldn’t hurt to try”

“You’re right. For what is worth, I miss you too. And you’re my best friend”

“I know. I’m awesome” Darcy says, making you laugh. “Bye”

She hangs up, and you pause the music, wanting a bit of silence to consider her words.

“Hey, gorgeous” you say as Wanda waits for you, looking all cute with her little suitcase. “Want a ride?”

“Someone’s picking me up already” she follows along and you take her stuff.

“Well lucky them. Come here” you pull her for a hug, kissing her cheek. “Hey, thanks for taking care of me. I’m sorry we couldn’t go out”

“Anything for you, detka” she pulls apart, looking at your lips.

“Come on, you must be starving”

Not that you don’t want to kiss her but a part of you wants it to be special.

Another part of you really enjoys teasing Wanda.

“When did you buy a fancy car?” Wanda says when you reach the Corvette.

“Didn’t. It’s a loan. But hey, it’s a cool car and I might get one for myself” you say, putting her things in the trunk. You miss the way a girl glances at you, smiling.

“Oh, good” Wanda glares at her. By the time you open the passenger door, she doesn’t miss the chance to kiss that spot in your jaw that makes you weak. “Thank you, darling”

“M-my pleasure”

Wanda likes teasing you too.

“How are Jenny and Zach?” she asks once you’re waiting for your food.

“They’re good. I’m happy that my mother’s little outburst was enough to convince their father to leave her”

“You mean…”

“Something that happened when she picked up Jenny that time she ran away, doesn’t matter” you look away, trying to forget how much it actually hurt.

“What did she do? Why didn’t I know?” Wanda insists, reaching for your hand across the table.

“Doesn’t matter, honestly”

“It matters to me” she says, and her frown only softens when you bring her hand to your lips.

“Can I ask how are things with your mom?” you say, curious about the mysterious Mrs. Maximoff. Of course Darcy had told you about the woman, but you knew your friend could blow things out of proportion for a good story.

“Well… we haven’t really spoken about the elephant in the room. To be honest, I’m not sure what’s really going with her. I know she came back because Pietro told her we needed some help. It just feels weird to me, that she has taken over everything. Like no time has passed, and I’m a teenager again while she bosses us around”

“Lovingly, I hope”

“Of course. She’s a very strong, stubborn woman”

“Ah. I see now. You got it from her”

“I am not stubborn!” she kicks you under the table, and you laugh.

You keep talking about work, especifically her meetings with Wendy Lawson and her team.

Noticing it’s almost time for her to go, you ask for the check.

“Be right back” Wanda says, going to the bathroom to check her hair isn’t a mess after taking an early flight.

You’re replying to one of Yelena’s texts when a familiar voice greets you.

“Y/N, hey!”

“Laura. How are you?” you recognise the bartender. “Good to see you”

“All those ladies have missed you at the club. I was begining to think you found a better place to hang”

“No, after that last time I definitely stopped getting drunk. I still owe you that coffee for helping me out, though”

“Yes, you do. But looks like your date’s back. See ya around” Laura waves goodbye.

Oh, shit.

When you turn around, Wanda is looking at you, tilting her head in that way that activates your fight or flight response.

Run, run, run.

“Wands, what are you doing?” you say when she begins to dial a number.

“Cancelling our reservation”

“Hey, come on” you throw some money at the table, going after her. “I didn’t hook up with anyone, I just liked to go and drink”

“You’re taking me to that club tonight” Wanda stops in her tracks, pulling you by the collar of your shirt until you’re inches apart. “So that all those girls know that you’re not going anymore because you’re taken”

You nod dumbly, leaning forward. But Wanda doesn’t let you kiss her, pinching your cheek and then smiling.

“Good girl”

��

You’re not sure this is a good idea.

Either Wanda gets jealous and you fight. Or she gets extremely jealous and you fuck in the bathroom of the club.

That’s not bad per se, but you really wanted to take things easy.

As you wait for her in the lobby of the hotel, you’re thinking of arguments to persuade her to go to dinner instead. Or a movie. Anything.

“There you are”

Any coherent thought goes out the window when you see what she’s wearing. A short red leather dress, with nearly matching thights. Her hair is completely straight, and frames her beautiful face, lips standing out because of the darker shade of lipstick.

“Let’s just go back to my place and I’ll cook for you”

And eat you out, you wanna add.

But Wanda’s already shaking her head no.

“It’s been forever since I’ve gone to a bar. I’m looking forward to it” she places her hand around your arm. “Come on, now”

You open the car door for her, and play some music to take your mind off of Wanda looking like a whole meal in that sinful dress.

“Huh. I was just listening to that song. Why are you smiling?” she adds when you almost let out a laugh.

“You’ve been using my account this whole time, babe. So, whenever you’re listening to something, I listen too”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because” you shrug your shoulders. “I liked it. It was like being able to know a bit about your day. Like say, at noon, I knew you were driving to pick up the kids. And I could picture you listening to The Carpenters on the way there. The real struggle was to stop Yelena from messing with it. Can’t tell you how many times she begged me to stop playing Norah Jones”

“I did get a little too into her, I guess” Wanda jokes, but it’s still overwhelming. To think about all the ways in which you tried to stay connected to her life.

“What’s wrong? Did you change your mind? We can go get some food…” you pull over, worried about her sudden silence.

“I love you” Wanda interrupts, looking at you. She keeps going when you stay quiet. “I know, we said to take things slow but I don’t care. I love you so much and I need you to know that”

Without saying anything, you reach for her across the car, pulling her in for a kiss that takes her breath away.

It’s passionate and needy and rushed, but it also feels perfect. You missed her so damn much and it was stupid to wait this long to kiss Wanda again.

“I love you too, you know that” you say when you pull apart, making her smile.

“Ok, then. Let’s go”

“Back to my place”

“To the club” she insists and you groan.

“It’s nothing special. It’s just full of drunk people dancing and fighting. Sometimes. Ok, I did the fighting”

“It will be fun, I promise” Wanda squeezes your hand and you nod, knowing you’ll do what she asks.

Once you reach the club, you notice it’s not as crowded as other days. Hopefully, that means it will be a bit less likely to get into trouble, as it often happened when you came by to get drunk and flirt around.

“What’s the deal with that Laura girl?” Wanda asks when she nods your way and you smile.

“She may have saved me from getting my ass kicked once or twice. You know how I get sometimes”

“You’re trouble, aren’t you?”

You nod, looking around and ordering a beer for you and a glass of wine for Wanda. You notice she stands closer to you when a girl stops by and taps your shoulder.

“Remember me?”

No, not really.

“How’s it going?” you greet, placing your arm around Wanda’s waist.

“You owe me a drink”

“Oh, of course! Order anything, I’ll ask Laura to put it on my tab” you agree, hoping that’s it.

“If you don’t wanna buy me a drink we could dance”

“Here” Wanda gives her the glass of wine. “Since you enjoy getting hand-me-downs so much”

“Excuse me?”

“Oookaaay” you drag Wanda away, stepping into the dance floor. “Let’s just dance”

And you do, for a little while. You feel Wanda grinding against you and it takes every ounce of self control to stay there, instead of dragging her to the bathroom to have your way with her.

“Are you thristy?” she says against your ear and you gulp.

“Yeah”

“Let’s get something to drink”

Let’s get out of here, you want to plead, but she’s in control and all you can do is hope she gets tired of playing with you soon.

“Can we get a round of shots?” Wanda leans against the bar, her dress riding up. You blush as you get a peak at her beautiful legs but also place yourself behind her so no one else sees her.

Wanda laughs, rubbing her ass against your front and you think you might collapse any minute now.

You’re about to ask her once again to please just leave when she hands you a shot of tequila.

“Truth or dare”

“Truth” you down the shot.

“What did you think of me when you first saw me?”

“Now that’s what I call a MILF” you admit, making her laugh.

“You wanna fuck me?” she says, pulling you by the shirt, her lips touching yours as she speaks.

“I have fucked you before” you remind her.

“But you still want to do it”

“Of course I do. The day I say I’m not in the mood just shoot me, because it means I’ve gone insane”

Wanda rolls her eyes, taking a shot and pulling you in for a messy kiss. Her lips travel down to your neck, and you feel her biting down with enough strenght to leave a bruise.

“I dare you to fuck me in the back of your car” she says when you stop for air.

“It’s a really small backseat”

“Is that a no?”

“I never said no” you smile, kissing her again. This time she grabs the belt loop of your pants, pulling you to the exit.

“Hurry or I’ll have to do it myself and you’ll only be able to watch”

“Wanda” you groan, tired of the teasing.

Unfortunately, someone stops you by the door.

“You never called me” a girl that you absolutely don’t even remember stands in front of you.

“She’s taken. Move”

“Make me”

“Alright!” Wanda begins to remove her earrings, so you carry her over your shoulders, making a quick exit.

“Put me down, I wanna show her who you belong to”

“Hey, just calm…”

It’s a stupid idea, looking back. Of course the sudden shift and the movement make Wanda sick, so the minute you set her down, she bends over and pukes.

“It’s ok” you ease her, rubbing her back. When she’s done, she drops all her weight against you, and you have to carry her to the car.

Wanda only wakes up when you’re taking off her shoes, and she looks around the room, disoriented.

“Did we…? How was it, did you like it?”

“Baby” you laugh, watching her adorable expression. “Just put on some pajamas and drink water. You’ll feel better”

She listens, taking your hand to stand up and walk to the master bathroom. On the way there, she pulls down the dress, wearing nothing but matching red underwear and her thights.

You’re not strong enough to resist this.

Wanda takes a toothbrush that you left out for her, and by the time she cleans up, she’s feeling a little bit better.

You’re in bed, wearing a tank top and shorts. Wanda’s previous observation was right. You have been spending more time at the gym; your muscles look a lot more toned. She allows herself to admire you, as your eyes are closed. Wanda doesn’t know if you’re asleep or not, but that doesn’t matter at all right now.

The redhead takes you by surprise, climbing on top of your lap and kissing you.

“Hey, slow down”

“Come on, I’ve missed you” she pleads.

“I’ve missed you too. But you had too much to drink and it wouldn’t be right, darling. Don’t wanna take advantage”

“I want you to take advantage. Don’t you wanna taste me?”

“Wanda” you sigh, knowing that if she keeps going you’ll have a hard time controlling yourself.

“I want your fingers deep inside me, it’s been over a month and nothing works, not like your hand… or your cock”

“Wanda” you repeat, this time with a more stern tone. The woman smiles as she lifts her top, and you have seriously missed those two.

You flip her over, so she’s on her back. Wanda moans as you kiss down her neck, rubbing her back while your lips travel lower and lower…

“Wands?” you look up, to find her fast asleep. You have to hold back a laugh when you see her snoring.

After covering her, you kiss her forehead and leave to stay in the guest bedroom.

“Sleep well, love of my life”

—

Time goes by slowly. You really don’t want anything to interfere with your date with Wanda.

A nice dinner with her is all you need right now. Hell, you even agreed she could stay at your place, seeing as the last two times she ended up sleeping there anyway.

Nothing happened, though. This time you think it might.

You hope it might.

Wanda left you all hot and bothered last time, wearing that dress and saying those dirty things while showing you those perfect, beautiful breasts that you love to bite and…

“Someone’s asking for you in the ER” Nurse Roman says, making you snap out of your thoughts.

“Thanks”

You have no idea who that might be, until you pull the curtain and find Wendy Lawson in a hospital bed.

“Detka, hi” Wanda says, joining you a second later.

“Hi, love. Is everything ok?” you look between Wanda and the other woman.

“Wendy fell and we were just worried”

“Honestly, it’s nothing. I’m an old broad” Wendy says, clearly ashamed and not wanting to make a fuss. You can tell there’s some blood on her elbow.

“May I?” you approach, putting on a pair of gloves. “It’s a scratch. Wanna tell me where you hurt yourself? Head?”

“No, just the elbow and my wrist. The elbow feels a little numb, that’s all. It’s probably nothing”

“You fell with your arm stretched before you, to prevent the fall, huh?” you say, touching and bending Wendy’s arm. “It’s an injury of soft tissue on the elbow, but I’d like to confirm nothing’s wrong on your wrist with an X-ray if that’s ok with you?”

“Like I said, it’s probably nothing…”

“Miss Lawson, worse comes to worst, it’s in fact nothing and we get to keep your X-ray along with the other ones from famous people. There’s an available spot on our wall next to Matt Damon”

“Well, alright. Wanda was right. You are very charming”

“Oh, what else did she say about me?” you turn to look at her, excited when you notice Wanda is blushing. “We definitely need to talk more, Miss Lawson. For now, nurse Lorne will take you to get the X-ray”

You vaguely hear Ed tell Wendy that he is a huge fan of her work. But your mind is elsewhere, pulling Wanda into an empty on call room.

“Hi” she laughs when you kiss her cheeks, nose, neck and even behind her ear.

“Missed you” you say, finally kissing her lips. She places a hand on your cheek and you corner her against the door. Wanda lets out a sigh as you dart your tongue out, and one of your hands squeeze her breast. “Missed those too”

“Bet you did” she laughs.

“Hey, you’re the one that flashed me and then proceeded to pass out”

“Stop, I’m so embarrassed about last week” she hides her face in the crook of your neck.

“Come on, I’m joking” you kiss her temple. “It was fun going out. But now we are going someplace fancy where I can spoil you. Agreed?”

“I don’t deserve that” she tries to joke, but you can tell she means part of it.

“You do” you kiss her again, this time slower, until you break apart. Your eyes are closed, and you smile. “I love you”

“Me too, detka”

“Come on, looks like Wendy’s results are ready” you say when Lorne pages you.

Yelena lets out a loud laugh when you leave the room with Wanda and you roll your eyes.

“Not like you’re not having phone sex with Bishop when it’s a slow day” you shut her up.

“Y/N” someone else calls for you as you walk down the hallway, and you turn to find Valkyrie, smiling at you. “Hey, wanna have lunch today?“

“Yeah, we never got around to speaking about that project” you agree. “Oh, sorry about my manners. This is my girlfriend, Wanda. Wanda, meet Valkyrie”

Wanda tries to keep herself from dancing around at the mention of the word girlfriend. Instead she shakes Valkyrie’s hand.

“Were you at the gala? With that pregnant woman” Val says, confused.

“It’s kind of a long story, but yes. Pleased to meet you. Don’t let me keep you longer, I can find Wendy and head out”

“Nonesense. It won’t take more than a couple of minutes. Be right back, Val”

The woman nods and you walk with Wanda to find Wendy.

After you confirm it’s nothing serious, you prescribe some painkillers and insist that the woman can call you on your personal number with any questions.

“Thank you, and it’s a pleasure to finally meet you”

“Likewise. Wanda’s so happy that she gets to work with you”

You walk them out and smile when Wanda kisses your cheek.

“I’ll wait for you at the penthouse?”

“Yeah, sounds good. Be there as soon as I finish my shift”

Just a couple more hours.

Ed comes back making a dance, showing you Wendy’s X-ray.

“Can I pleeease keep it?”

“Fine. If someone asks, you stole it. And you can’t sing any of the songs from Waitress for the rest of the week”

“Deal!”

—

Today of all days. You’re late. Not excessively, but enough to go over the speed limit and say goodbye to the idea of a shower before heading out.

“Hi, wanted to check if I can move a reservation by half an hour?” you remember to call the restaurant. Even if Wanda made the reservation, you don’t want to lose the spot because of your tardiness.

“We don’t have any reservations under that name” the hostess says after a second.

“How about Wanda Maximoff?”

“No, nothing either”

Well, damn. Did she get the day wrong? You’re about to ask to be put on the waitlist as it’s a busy restaurant when the elevetor doors open and you spot a couple of candles lighting up the penthouse.

“Alright, sorry for the trouble” you hang up, walking inside and looking for Wanda.

She’s waiting by the terrace, a soft smile as you take it all in. There are candles, roses and something that smells amazing.

“I thought we were going out”

“This is better” Wanda greets you with a kiss. “You like it?”

“I love it but I wanted you to relax and just have fun, you didn’t have to do all this”

“Would it make you feel better if I tell you I ordered the food instead of cooking?” Wanda smiles when you pull her by the waist.

“Did you really?”

“Yeah”

“Then alright. Thank you, love”

You hurry to shower and by the time you’re out, Wanda’s looking out the night sky, smiling as she sips from her glass of wine.

“Nice view” she comments and you hum, looking at her instead of the buildings and parks around you.

“The best”

“Penthouse, an expensive car, a big city… it’s very different from Westview” Wanda sighs.

“It’s also very lonely” you admit. “It’s nice, but it’s not home”

“It’s not home without you either” she admits, sighing. You kiss her temple, pulling her to the small table that’s on the terrace.

“How was lunch with Val?” she asks after eating in silence for a bit.

“Nice. We met at the gala; she works at Doctors Without Borders. I was curious about a thing or two they do there”

“That sounds interesting”

“Yeah, I always wanted to do it. Never had a chance to, with student debt right out of college and once that was settled I was offered the position as Head of Trauma so…”

“Do you want to do it now?” Wanda asks. You can tell a part of her is anxious. About you leaving again, about changing everything now that you’re fixing things.

“One day. But I’d ask you about it first. See how things might work. Or when the kids go to college, we could both travel to wherever it is they send me. Would you like that?”

“Yeah” Wanda nods, her heart skipping a beat once she notices you’re planning for a future together, like you used to do before.

Before she screwed up.

“Tell me something you’ve always wanted to do” you ask with a smile, kissing the back of her hand.

“Like? In general?” Wanda hums as you nod, waiting for her to answer. “Well, this is something I’ve been thinking since my mother came back. She was telling the kids some Sokovian tales and I thought… when people hear about our country they only think about a small place that was destroyed by a war. But we’re so much more than that. I was thinking maybe I should write a book about legends and tales from my childhood”

“That would be great, actually. It could be fun to travel back there and do some research” you mention, thinking back to your conversation with Val.

As the evening continues, Wanda remembers about the ring she found. Ultimately, she had decided to not tell you she knew about it.

If and when you decided to propose, it should be because you felt like you were ready, not because Wanda knew and you felt pressured to do it.

Honestly? Wanda even thought it would be better if she proposed to you. You had already proven to be committed to your life together. It was Wanda’s turn.

“What’s got you so smiley all of the sudden?” you notice she’s staring at you.

“I just… love you so much” she admits.

“Come here” you pull her up and into your lap. “You were right, this is better than a restaurant. I can have you here all night if I want to”

“Not all night” she stutters when you leave a trail of wet kisses down her throat, squeezing her ass as your hands travel lower.

“Yes, absolutely all night. I got two months of pent up energy and my beautiful girlfriend all to myself”

“Wait” she laughs when you stand up, carrying her to the bedroom.

“Wanna do it in the balcony for the world to see?” you joke, walking inside.

“No, but I did have a speech planned about how I want to make it up to you for hurting you”

“Cool, I’d love to hear it… after I make you come at least three times”

Wanda’s about to protest when you push the door to the bedroom open. Unlike other times, you’re not that gentle with your movements, throwing her in the bed and falling right on top of her, desperate to continue kissing her.

And you are right, intimacy had always been such a huge part of your relationship, even with a crowded house. Wanda can’t believe she managed to spend two months without your touch.

“You said nothing worked… so you tried to fuck yourself without me? How many fingers, Wanda? Two? Three?”

“The toy… the one we…”

“So needy” you whisper hotly against her ear. “And yet you couldn’t come, huh?”

“I want to…” she gasps for air when you pull her pants down.

“I don’t really wanna hear anything leave those lips of yours unless it’s my name, got it, princess?”

Maybe later you’ll have time for a more romantic exchange. But now? You really need to taste her.

“Hey!” she protests when you rip her panties instead of taking them off. You smile, sinking yourself in her center and you moan at the first taste.

It seems impossible, but it’s so much better than you remember.

Wanda’s hands anchor her by pulling your hair until your nose nudges her clit, and you both moan when you feel her shaking, legs closing around your head.

“Give me a minute” she asks when you go up her body, kissing and leaving traces of her own arousal.

“Nah. You had two months. I’m fucking you all night” you surprise her by flipping her body, and she ends up face down, head pressed against the pillow. You pull her ass in the air, spanking her, albeit gently. “Unless you want me to stop”

“Keep going” she pleads, embarassed at the way her arousal is running down her thighs.

“That’s it. Good girl” you say when you place two fingers before her and she sucks them greedily. “Nice to see you still remember how to use your mouth, babe”

“Y/N” she sighs, hiding her face in the pillow.

“I wanna hear you” you remind her, entering her easily. She’s so wet there’s no resistance, not even when you add a third finger.

Your fingers and mouth move in tandem, and  Wanda’s so worked up that it doesn’t take a lot for her to come again.

The only reason you show mercy is because her legs are shaking and she can’t hold herself up any longer.

“Five minute break” you kiss behind her ear. “Then you’re riding my face”

A mix of a moan and a laugh leaves Wanda’s lips.

It’s gonna be a long, great night.

—

The last time she woke up this late, you were home.

Months ago, when things were ok.

And now, as Wanda opens her eyes, looking out the window, it feels like that again.

She grabs your clothes, like she always does and walks up to the kitchen.

“Breakfast is almost ready” you say over your shoulder. “Coffee?”

“Mhm” she nods. Before you can reach out and pour her a cup, she pulls you down to kiss you. She nudges her nose against yours, smiling. “Morning”

“Fucked all night looks good on you” you tease, making her roll her eyes.

“I’m sleepy. Feels like I ran a marathon”

“Poor Wanda, getting orgasm after orgasm” you whisper against her ear when you place a plate with french toast and eggs in front of her.

“You’re mean”

“You’re delicious” you say back, kissing her. “Now, eat. Gotta get ready for round two”

“You’ll be the death of me” she says, blushing.

“I’m just saying, your flight doesn’t leave until noon. Don’t you want to try the jacuzzi?”

“Tempting” she says, smiling.

The sight of her wearing your clothes, and having breakfast with adorable bed hair and a relaxed expression makes your heart soar.

“Hey… I was thinking. Why don’t the kids join you next time?” you propose, looking at your plate, afraid of Wanda’s reaction.

Her words stuck with you. You knew she was upset and didn’t mean it. You knew you were good to the kids and they loved you.

But maybe it’s too soon to see them again.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Wanda picks up on your mood.

“Nothing. It was stupid, forget I mentioned it…” you shake your head.

Wanda stands up and sits on your lap.

“I think that’s a fantastic idea” she says, her hands cupping your cheeks gently to make you look up. “But be prepared because they’ll be hyper verbal”

“I can live with that” you smile.

“And we’ll probably not have a moment to… you know” she plays with the collar of your shirt, raising her eyebrows.

“Then we better make the most of our time right now” you pick her up, and Wanda laughs. “You were done with breakfast, right?”

“Well, I actually had some toast left on my plate”

“Here” you offer her a bite and then take one for yourself. “And off we go”

Needless to say, Wanda almost missed her flight.

[drchucktingle]

POUNDED BY DR. GLOBUS

wanted to post today about recent health journey of chuck. ALL STARTED at texas show when i began to feel tightness in throat. i have learned this is called GLOBUS which is a tingler character name if ive ever heard one. got through appearance and had blast but felt terrible

plane journey home was even worse. first thought i strained my voice, then tested for covid (negative) and then figured it was just some kind of virus. had running nose and hoarse and extreme pain behind face and MOST of all this golf ball throat

figured i would get better as viruses tend to go but I DID NOT. after a few weeks went to way of urgent care and they took one look and said you have EXTREME FORM OF ACID REFLUX called laryngopharyngeal reflux (also great tingler character name)

basically this is when your stomach acid comes all the way back up into your throat and erodes it. they immediately put me on medications name of pepcid plus tums plus gaviscon and on and on. was inhaling a dang pharmacy every morning

problem is, NO CHANGE. in fact it started getting worse. in addition to previous symptoms i now couldnt keep any food down. upset stomach all the time. could barely sleep. plus it is scary to have a sickness that gets WORSE over time like this

more doctor talks. i up doses of medication to combat sickness but does not seem to work. one night wake up and think 'dang i need to go to er my stomach is going to just melt or something' (keep in mind because i cant keep food down i am always hungry too).

i go to hospital and they say 'WHOA we need to intervene right now we are doing some tests and putting you on SERIOUS LIFE CHANGING MEDICINE. but here is catch to do the tests we need you to stop all your medication for 48 hours and it will be HECK but you gotta do it bud'

so i stop all medication in preparation for new SICK LIFE and suddenly… i start feeling better. not just a little but after weeks of this awful way i wake up in ONE DAY and feel fully cured. now heres twist: at the same time this was happening I started taking allergy medicine

you may already know where i am going with so i will just hit you with it. my INITIAL SICKNESS was just extreme seasonal allergies that required nothing more than claritin and flonase. however i was misdiagnosed with ACID REFLUX and medication was making my stomach a wasteland

the second i stopped taking acid reflux meds and started on allergy trot i was better almost instantly. today i feel HECKIN GREAT. (SIDE NOTE: after 4 years of chronic pain i am so thankful to not have some OTHER long term health trot to deal with. DANG)

so what is lesson here? first of all please do not think this is in ANY WAY anti-doctor rant or anti-medicine. my doctors were trying their best and made a mistake, they are just people. ALSO while acid reflux medicine made me sick, allergy meds made me better. i am SO fortunate

but what is REALLY fortunate is that chuck is covered under SWEET BARBARAS HEALTH CARE (she gets very good coverage under the frozen lake). most artist buckaroos, even WILDLY successful ones, do not have health care which is huge issue that should be talked on more.

point is EVERYONE should have healthcare. this whole adventure was bad, but it also only cost me 50 dollars. hundreds of thousands of other buckaroos would have to deal with this PLUS it would completely upend their life to cover medical expenses because of a SIMPLE MISTAKE

so that is my story, usually there is more of a lesson to these rants but this one is really just ‘dang what a trip.’ so grateful for my health and my way and the fact i can get simple allergy medicine over the counter. most of all THANKFUL FOR MY BODY it is such a treat to exist

thank you for reading and remember to advocate for yourself and your feelings both BODY and MIND at the doctor. listen to your trot and do not forget that LOVING YOURSELF AND THE SYSTEMS OF YOUR BODY proves love just as much as loving others. trot on buckaroos

[maximoffcarter]

It'll be okay.

Pairings: Emily Prentiss x reader.

Warnings: Mentions of COVID.

Summary: Emily Prentiss was known to always taking care of her team, taking full responsibility of everything, taking the blame, making sure they were okay, etc. But, it was true that she never let anyone know the hard time she was having, that was until y/n entered her life.

A/n: This was requested by anon, and gotta say I dunno if this is even good but I wrote what I felt was right. It’s angst with comfort and fluff😌 I added some backstory cause why nooooot? I mostly based this on the first episode, and maybe after the season ends, I'll do a better one, but I believe this was good enough for now haha. Our baby really does need some comfort and a goddamn break🥹 I also did not proof read this, I never do until it's too late haha, so my apologies. Hope you guys enjoy this, leave comments, hearts, whatever you like and reblog so this gets some love🫶🏻

*not my gif*

COVID had definitely taken a toll on the BAU, not only had the world stopped but a lot of things had happened then. People died, people left, the world entirely changed, and there was no stopping, no one could actually stop it. Emily Prentiss had tried to make it work, to make things a little easier as she tried to focus on her job every single day, drowning in paperwork, zoom meetings, not being able to freely do what they were so used on doing, it had been a hard year. Not only that, but the fact that her breakup had been so messy, but that was the least of all the other things she was going through. Emily thought it couldn’t have gone worse, but then y/n was very present in her life. It was funny the day where it all had gone down.

It was the end of the most painful and difficult year, 2021 was about to arrive, just a week for the so awaited new year. And it so happened that on Christmas day, Emily had gotten COVID. She was in complete denial of being sick, more so because she needed to work, and she also had nothing to help her with the undeniable symptoms; the unbearable headache and body ache, the obvious fever, the terrible cold that her body felt, the stupid and annoying coughing and the stupid stuffed nose. Yes, there was no denial she was sick, but of course she wouldn’t admit how bad it was. But that didn’t stop y/n from going into action and deciding to go to Emily. Emily had been on the phone with her a few hours earlier, and when y/n noticed how bad this had gotten, she couldn’t stop herself from getting everything she needed and off to Emily’s house she was.

“What…on earth are you doing h-here.” Emily was interrupted with a cough, her hand soon landing on her chest as she felt the horrible pain as she coughed.

“I’m here to take care of you. Go to the living room, need to keep our distance.” Y/n said softly as she adjusted her face mask, getting a bottle of spray out.

Emily furrowed her brows but went ahead to the living room, soon enough grabbing a face mask and turning back to look at y/n. “I’m fine, you don’t have to stay here.”

“Oh, but I do. We’re close to get the vaccine, I cannot have you stopping at the hospital just because you were too stubborn to accept that you’re really sick.” Y/n sprayed the whole area where Emily had just been, and then turned to look at her with a raised brow. “Okay, here’s what we’ll do. You stay in your room, I’ll sleep on the couch, you can only use your room and bathroom. I’ll be bringing you food and medication, already talked to a doctor. If we don’t see any progress, we’ll have to go to the hospital, which I hope, you’ll cooperate, Prentiss.”

Emily just stared at her, a bit surprised on how y/n had become so bossy, but she also couldn’t blame her, knowing perfectly well that she’d probably die on her own. “Got it. I will.”

Y/n nodded. “Good, now I’ll go disinfect your room first. You stay here while I do that, no touching anything anymore. Though, I will clean here too.”

Emily couldn’t help the small smile that spread through her face as she nodded, thankful that the face mask was covering it. “Got it boss.”

Y/n grinned softly as she nodded. “Good, I’ll be right back. Bed stuff?”

“Closet, second drawer, and the blankets are on top.”

Emily would be lying if she said she wasn’t happy to have y/n here. Ever since y/n joined the team, somehow, they had become inseparable, even if she tried to get her to work with the whole team, before she even thought about it, she was already saying that y/n would go with her, and of course, that didn’t go unnoticed by Tara, JJ and Penelope, but they never mentioned anything, even more when Emily ended up with a boyfriend. That of course till this day, Emily thought so much about how she had forced herself to actually like someone just so she wouldn’t feel so alone. But the one person she had actually wanted…had been y/n. And now having her here, willing to take care of her even if she knew there was a risk that she could get sick, it was everything for Emily.

Emily slowly opened her eyes as she heard her door opening. She looked up and smiled softly as she noticed y/n walking in with a tray of food. “Hey. Did I sleep a lot?”

Y/n looked at Emily and smiled, carefully putting the tray of food on the nightstand. “For like an hour and a half. It’s good that you’re sleeping.” She grabbed the thermometer and placed it on Emily’s forehead. She sighed relieved and offered a small smile. “It’s coming down, finally.”

Emily smiled. “And the headache is not as bad.”

“No, Prentiss. I will not leave, it’s good you’re getting better but no way I’m leaving in the next few days.” Y/n raised her brow as she placed back the thermometer in its place.

“I was not going to say anything about that.” Emily chuckled softly. “Just…thank you.” She smiled softly as she sat on her bed.

Y/n nodded softly. “You welcome.” She smiled as she looked at Emily. “So…I ordered some groceries for tomorrow, we’ll have our own Christmas celebration.”

Emily’s heart stopped for a moment, her eyes widening. “Oh my…tomorrow is Christmas! Y/n, you shouldn’t be here. I’m sure you have-“

“Ah, stop.” Y/n grinned softly. “I have nothing to do, and I wouldn’t want to spend my Christmas any differently. What better way to celebrate it than with a sick Emily Prentiss? Such a great gift.” She chuckled softly as she grabbed the tray and placed it on Emily’s legs.

Emily’s heart swelled as she stared at y/n, a small smile on her face. “If you say so.”

“I do say so.” Y/n smiled softly. “Eat that, I’ll bring your medication.”

Emily watched her leave and her smile widened even more. All these years, she had been taking care of herself, not letting anyone in because she knew how that’d end up. She had never liked to be taken care of, but she loved to make sure that her loved ones were always good taken care of. So now, y/n doing all of this…it made her realize that maybe, just maybe…she did feel the same way.

********************

Emily groaned softly as she stretched, slowly opening her eyes to the sound of a groan and then a small whisper. As she looked up, rubbing the sleep away from her eyes, she furrowed her brows as she noticed y/n moving a small table and placing it in the middle of the door. She tilted her head in curiosity as a small, silly smile spread across her face. “What are you doing?”

Y/n looked up at Emily and smiled, her cheeks turning slightly red. “Oh uh…moving a table?”

“And…leaving it right in the middle of the door?” Emily raised her brow.

“Okay don’t laugh but…I thought this could be a way for us to have Christmas lunch together.”

Emily’s face softened as she stared at her, her cheeks turning red and not for the fever. She grinned softly. “Charming.”

“I tend to be.” Y/n grinned softly. “Grab your chair and I’ll bring the food.”

Emily smiled softly and did just as she was told, grabbing the chair that was just might the closet and sitting down in front of the table. She smiled softly as y/n came back with a chair for herself and started brought Emily her plate already with food and her drink. They ate together and right after they talked about everything but work, laughing as they told old stories about themselves and even some stories with the team. Y/n was fascinated just listening to Emily talk, loving that she had chosen the idea of spending Christmas with her, and that Emily had allowed her to take care of her. As for Emily, even if she was tired, she was enjoying every moment she was spending with y/n. As she watched her talk, she kept wondering in her mind if she was right or she was wrong about her suspicions, smiling softly without even noticing.

Y/n furrowed her brows and tilted her head as she stared at Emily. “What?” She hugged a chuckle.

“What?” Emily snapped out of her trance. “Oh! No, nothing. I’m sorry.”

Y/n chuckled. “You should get back to bed and sleep, I’ll clean up and wake you up for your pills.”

“Wait!” Emily coughed, grabbing her glass of water, and taking a deep breath afterwards. “I uh…have a question.”

“Yes?”

Emily took a deep breath, feeling her body still pretty much aching and getting all warm. “Why are you doing this?”

Y/n furrowed her brows again. “I…because I didn’t want you to be alone, Em.”

“Is that the only reason?” Emily raised her brow, a small smile on her face.

Y/n tilted her head as she smiled shyly, looking down at her glass. “Well…I don’t wanna get fired after what I have to say.”

“Which is?”

“You’re a profiler, Em. Isn’t it obvious?” Y/n blushed slightly as she looked back at her. “I…care a lot about you. Which means…that I like you…a lot.” She whispered softly as she nibbled on her lip.

Emily smiled softly as she nodded, tilting her head. “And you’re also a profiler, y/n. Isn’t it obvious?”

Y/n’s eyes widened slightly as she stared at Emily. “Wait…are you serious?”

“If I wasn’t sick and this table wasn’t in the middle of us, I’d be kissing you right now.” Emily smirked softly.

Y/n’s lips parted slightly as she stared at Emily, a soft smile tugging at the corner of her lips. “Is the fever making you talk?”

Emily laughed softly, coughing afterwards, and placing her hand on her chest. “No, no…I’m…I’m serious.” She smiled.

“We’re gonna check back once you’re not sick.” Y/n grinned. “But for now…this could be considered our first date.”

“And I’d like to take you in a second date…next year.” Emily joking as she grinned.

Y/n rolled her eyes playfully. “You’re so funny, Prentiss. But I accept.” She smiled softly.

Emily laughed softly as she nodded, feeling her heart beating faster as y/n kept staring at her with that beautiful smile on her face. After all, there was something good out of this pandemic.

********************

It wasn’t new that y/n saw Emily drowning in work, not after all the changed that the BAU had over the years. Having JJ back had at least eased things, but Rossi losing his wife, not having Penelope around, a whole new case that fell into their lap, Bailey not helping at all, Emily was losing her mind. But once she had most of her team back, including Penelope, things didn’t seem to be so bad…until they were, again. Y/n always had her eyes on Emily, the entire time, they both had promised that their relationship wouldn’t interfere with work, it wouldn’t change the way they worked, and it also wouldn’t stop them, meaning that things would stay just like they were before. Of course, the team was now aware of their relationship, and they were happy that at least, there was something to look forward to -Penelope joking that she was already planning the wedding…they believed she was joking-.

But once the whole ‘Gold Star’ started, y/n noticed how Emily just kept getting home late, trying to drown herself in work and compensate for what had happened. She had tried her best to be there for her and let Emily know that it had not been her fault, and that she had done what she and the team had thought was right. Emily tried to hide everything that she was feeling to not let y/n and the team figure out that she was having a hard time, but y/n knew better, she could now see through Emily, but she also knew not to push her. Even if it killed her to know that Emily was having a hard time.

“Hey, so where’s Emily? Thought she’d be here.” JJ snapped y/n out of her trance, making her look up at her while JJ offered a small smile.

“Oh…she had uh…she had something to do.” Y/n tried her best to smile but they knew better.

“Work, huh? She feels…guilty about Bailey?” Tara asked as she turned to look at y/n.

Y/n sighed softly as she nodded. “I don’t know what to do.”

“We know Emily. There’s not much we can do if she doesn’t want to talk.” Tara said softly as she placed her hand on y/n’s shoulder.

“But I’m her girlfriend. I mean…I should at least…I don’t know. Try harder?” Y/n shrugged. “I just want Emily to know that I’m here…”

JJ sighed softly. “Well, I’m sure she knows, she’s just…trying to deal with her stuff.”

Y/n nodded softly as she looked back at JJ, smiling softly. She felt her phone vibrating and got it out of her pocket, furrowing her brows as she saw Emily’s text. Soon enough she was saying goodbye to everyone and then heading back to the office. It felt a little weird to be here so late, the whole office was silent and almost dark, Emily’s office was the only one that had its light on. Y/n took a deep breath as she noticed Emily walking around her office and then stopping by the window. She wanted to support her in every possible way, but she was also afraid that Emily was overworking herself and that didn’t sit right with her. She slowly walked to Emily’s office and leaned against the doorframe, trying her best to smile as Emily turned to look at her.

“Hey you.” Y/n smiled softly.

Emily offered a smile in return. “I’m sorry I made you leave Penelope’s birthday.”

“I was going to anyway.” Y/n shrugged. “What’s going on?”

Emily sighed softly. “We need to talk.”

Y/n felt her heart drop for a moment as she stared at Emily. She could only nod, not trusting her voice as she felt her body slightly trembling as she waited for Emily to say anything at all, but instead, she walked to y/n, grabbed her hand, and kissed it softly, offering a smile as she pulled y/n with her. Soon enough, they were on the ceiling, Emily had sat down and had pulled out a box of cigarettes, catching y/n off guard for a moment, but also keeping in mind how incredibly hot it was to see her smoke. Seriously, y/n…not the time. She crossed her arms and listened to everything Emily had to say, and again, she felt helpless as she listened to Emily, wanting nothing more than to be able to fix all this with a snap of her finger and be able to take Emily anywhere so she could relax.

“Well, you’ve been doing your homework.” Y/n teased as she walked closer to Emily and grabbed the cigarette putting it in her mouth before she returned it to Emily.

Emily scoffed. “Well…we need to get to the end of this.”

Y/n nodded, sighing softly, and looked away for a moment. “So…you think he’s government trained or something?”

“He’s definitely too proficient to be self-taught.”

“And that’s why they’re keeping it a secret.” Y/n tilted her head as she looked back at Emily. “I know that you’ve been overprotective after what happened…but we need to let the team know about this. You know that working together, we’ll get it done.”

Emily sighed softly as she nodded. “I know.” She nibbled on her lip for a moment as she looked at y/n. “Baby…I need you to promise me that whatever we do here, I need you to be safe. We see what he does…what has happened so far. I cannot…” her voice cracked for a moment, looking down at the floor as she put back the cigarette in her mouth.

Y/n sighed softly as she walked to Emily, positioning herself in between her legs and placing her hands on her cheeks, tilting her head up so their eyes locked. “I will promise you that if you promise me the same.” She smiled softly. “Em, I need you to take a break too. You’ve barely been home, you’ve barely been sleeping. I will make the promise if you promise me you’ll also take care of yourself.”

Emily took a deep breath, moving her free hand to y/n’s hips, offering a small smile. “Alright. I will.”

Y/n smiled softly as she leaned down to kiss Emily’s forehead. “You’re stubborn, Prentiss. If I don’t take care of you, you won’t.”

“That’s why I have you. Couldn’t have it any other way.” Emily chuckled softly, leaning up slightly to kiss her lips while she put out the cigarette.

Y/n smiled against her lips. “I know I should be forbidding you from smoking but…did you know you look extremely hot smoking?”

Emily chuckled softly as she wrapped her arms around her waist, pulling her closer. “No but thank you.” She grinned.

Y/n rolled her eyes playfully and then leaned down to kiss her lips again. “Let’s go call Garcia.”

********************

Y/n could only stare at Emily while everyone else talking, giving their thoughts about the video they had just watched. she couldn’t really concentrate on what they were even talking about, part of her was trying to comprehend everything, work with them, say anything at all, but her mind was entirely focused on Emily. The moment Rossi and Emily had walked into the office, she could tell that there was something wrong with Emily; the way she stared at them, the way she talked, her eyes seemed…lost. She tried to keep up with everything, every now and then feeling JJ’s eyes on her, even Tara’s, but her eyes were only focused on Emily.

“Em?” Y/n asked softly as they all left the room, walking to Emily and taking her hand. “Are you alright?”

Emily looked back at her and furrowed her brows. “Yes. Why are you asking?”

Y/n tilted her head slightly as she raised her brow. “That was not nothing. What you and Rossi saw…and you…you don’t look okay.”

Emily shrugged. “It’s part of the job, isn’t it?”

Y/n sighed softly. “Emily, I-“

“Right now, we need to focus on this case. We might have something important here. I know I promised, but we also promised we wouldn’t change the way we work here. Right now, we’re at work, and we need to focus on that.” Emily said softly but firmly, not wanting to sound rude or harsh, but the way she looked at y/n, with stress and frustration, made y/n’s insides turn.

Y/n nodded softly as she let go of Emily’s hand. “Right.”

Emily only nodded before she left, leaving y/n standing there, not knowing what to do or say. She knew working together wouldn’t be the easiest thing ever, but she couldn’t help it, and Emily couldn’t blame her for worrying. Y/n had stayed behind with JJ at the office, she had tried to brush it off and focus on their main task. But again, once they came back, y/n noticed it again, she noticed the way Emily rubbed her temple and went straight to her office. She didn’t say anything, she stayed with JJ as she let Emily have a minute. She was right, they had made it clear things wouldn’t change, and so far, it had worked out, and she was not about to stress Emily more.

********************

Y/n closed the door behind her and sighed softly as she locked it, standing there staring at it as she took a deep breath before she turned to walk to their room. Emily was already sitting on the bed, taking off her shoes. Y/n said nothing, walking to the bed and also sitting down and doing the same as Emily. Silence surrounded them for a moment for a while, y/n knew it was stupid that Emily’s words had hit her the way they did, but she couldn’t help it, she knew that if it was the other way around, Emily wouldn’t drop it until y/n accepted that Emily was right, but in this case, which was not even an option.

But then she heard a soft groan coming from Emily, and as she turned, she noticed Emily’s head in her hands, and y/n was back to feeling worried. She stood up slowly and walked around the bed, kneeling right in front of Emily, and positioning herself in between her legs, her hands on top of Emily’s as she leaned her head against Emily’s.

“Em…” Y/n whispered softly.

“I’m exhausted.” Emily breathed out, her voice cracking slightly. “I don’t know what’s going on, nothing seems right, everything seems to be against us, to be against me. It’s like they want me to resign so badly, they want…they want the BAU to disappear. I don’t know what they want from me, I cannot just drop this, not after everything we’ve been through.” She said quietly as she felt her eyes getting teary, not being able to look up at y/n. “They’re making us get involved with a fucking serial killer. What has gotten into their minds?! What are they hiding?!”

Y/n wrapped her arms around her, only being able to hold Emily tightly as she started sobbing. Emily knew that she was overworking herself, that she was doing too much, she was obsessing too much, but there was no chance to back down, she couldn’t just let it happen, she couldn’t let them win. But she felt so…heavy. Everything hurt, her head felt like exploding, her chest felt heavy, she had felt the usual anxiety creep in her body, she felt worse than she had years ago. She sobbed quietly as she felt y/n tightening her embrace, Emily suddenly wrapping her arms around y/n’s neck, feeling bad for the weird position they were in, but needing y/n to hold her so badly, she’d worry about the position later.

“I can’t just drop this.” Emily whispered as she buried her face on y/n’s neck, tears streaming down her cheeks.

“I know. And we won’t drop it. I’ll be by your side.” Y/n whispered softly.

“I’m sorry I’m so stubborn…”

Y/n shook her head, smiling softly as she turned to kiss the side of her head. “But you’re mine. You can be as stubborn as you want.”

Emily chuckled softly as she pulled away, looking into y/n’s eyes. “I’m sorry that I’ve been drowning myself in this case.”

Y/n sighed softly. “I don’t blame you, Emily.” She rubbed Emily’s back softly as she leaned in and kissed her forehead. “I just don’t want you falling sick for so much stress. I don’t want you to get stuck in this to the point where you can’t notice that you’re putting everything and you’re putting yourself in danger.” She said softly as she looked into Emily’s eyes. “I’m just worried about you.”

Emily nodded as she let out a shaky breath. “I know. I won’t keep anything else from you, I promise. And…I’ll come to you when it’s too much.”

Y/n nodded as she smiled. “Em…baby, look at me.” She ran her fingers through her hair as Emily locked her eyes on hers. “I’m here for you, no matter what. The good and the bad, you’re not a burden to me, okay? I love you. And you’re not alone.”

Emily’s eyes filled with tears as her face softened, her body slightly trembling as she finally gave up and let tiredness take over her. She took a deep shaky breath, nodding her head as more tears rolled down her cheeks. Y/n rapidly wrapped her into another tight hug, letting Emily bury her face on her neck and sob as much as she needed. They stayed like that for a while, y/n rubbing her back and whispering sweet nothings while Emily cried. It was becoming too much, and Emily knew this wasn’t even the half of it and there was so much more to come, but for now, for now she had y/n, she was present in this moment. Y/n gave her the space to break and make her feel like she deserved to have this sort of moment even if they still made her feel weak, but she knew her lover would never judge her, not like she had been judged before. After a moment, she finally felt like she had gotten everything out, slowly moving back but resting her forehead against y/n’s, not wanting to be away.

“Thank you…” Emily whispered softly.

“Why are you thanking me?”

“Because you always take care of me even if you don’t have to.” Emily smiled through her tears.

Y/n smiled softly pulling away just enough to wipe her tears and stroke her cheek. “And I’ll be here to do it over and over again. If I risked my life with COVID, why not now?” She grinned a little.

Emily rolled her eyes playfully. “Well, it kept you in my apartment for a whole month. Not my fault you were so eager to kiss me.” She teased back.

Y/n gasped softly. “In my defense, you were supposed to be out of risk, and also, I couldn’t help it when I had you right in front of me. We had become girlfriends, and I hadn’t even kissed you yet.”

“That’s true.” Emily chuckled softly as she leaned in and kissed her forehead. “And I got to take care of you.”

Y/n nodded. “We’ve got each other’s back. You take care of me, and I take care of you.” She smiled softly.

Emily smiled and nodded softly. “Yes.” She rested her forehead against y/n’s once again. “I love you.”

“And I love you.” Y/n smiled softly and sighed softly as she closed her eyes for a moment. After a while, she moved to kiss Emily’s nose and offer another smile. “C’mon, let’s take a bath together. I’ll bring some wine and snacks.”

Emily smiled softly and nodded. “Sounds like a plan.”

Y/n nodded before she got up, but as she was about to leave, Emily pulled her back to her, making her turn back to Emily who was now standing. “Yes?”

Emily smiled softly as she shook her head. “Nothing.” She placed her hand on y/n’s neck and brought their lips together into a tender kiss. “I love you.” She whispered softly against her lips.

Y/n giggled. “I love you too.” She whispered back and kissed her lips one more time before she walked out of the room.

Emily knew there was still a very long way, she had no idea what they were getting into, a lot of stress was coming their way, but she knew that as soon as she walked into their house, she’d be able to leave that stress behind at least for a while. This little bubble they had created for themselves was everything to Emily, and what got her to keep going. And that was all she needed.

[ellielatinagf]

Ellie Williams in Covid head cannons

Sooooo this is just a small idea I had because I’ve never seen anyone else do this soooooooo. Our poor girly in yet another epidemic. Love you all!

Warnings: a tiny bit nsfw content, cursing, for the girls only pleaseee, lmk if there’s anything else

Was absolutely thrilled when everyone was advised to stay inside because she’s such an antisocial loser untilllllll she saw how everyone was rapidly spreading the disease. She’s low key a germaphobe.

Totally had a YouTube channel which consisted of her recording herself doing nothing but laying on the couch with you watching tv. Her only subscribers were Jesse, Joel, and Dina and some rando from Tennessee.

She found a new obsession every week and now the garage is filled with boxes of old paintings, crochet chickens, and diy art stuff.

Had ranked every Ramen noodle flavor from best to worst

Absolutely freaked OUT when you got Covid from your job and she ended up sleeping over at Joel’s. She actually refused to come back untill you showed her how you deep cleaned the whole house.

Ellie on FaceTime

Ellie: wait babe lemme see right there on the dresser

You: Ellie I literally wiped it down twice

Ellie: well I didn’t see it

Tried to make cookies one time and thought they were perfect and crispy around the edges. They really tasted like chips and she got mad when you laughed and claimed you never take her seriously.

Okay I’m sorry but she was a horny monster like cmon she was in the house all day with you like how can she not.

Had an obsession with the Big Bang theory and made you watch it with her and explained all the science stuff which she knew for the most part. On the ones she didn’t know she’d yap about it till you looked it up and she’d gaslight you into thinking she was right.

You: “Umm babe google says……”

Ellie: “that’s literally what I was saying”

She was at Joel’s house one time helping him make more guitars. She accidentally cut herself and when you demanded she go to the hospital which she was terrified of because of all the Covid patients getting her sick she went like this

“Hold on babe i watched greys anatomy”

Fell victim to the meme pages all in her camera roll that were like this

Hated zoom meetings but she’d be the type to hold her phone on the screen and watch those Roblox Tik toks.

I know i already said she was a fortnite god but that girl watched every single fortnite concert at the time and made sure you were right there with her and she made sure to clip the whole thing even though when watching the clip back her and Jesse were yelling their asses off. She loved season three of fortnite.

Ellie: “ HURRY UP BABE TRAVIS SCOTT IS GONNA PREFORM OH MY GOD JESSE WHERE ARE YOU!!!”

Ellie hated when people overstocked at the grocery store meanwhile she did the exact same thing because she was paranoid and it came in hand since you guys wouldn’t need to go grocery shopping for at least a week and a half

Ellie also discovered games with an emotional storyline like Detroit becomes human, red dead redemption, resident evil, ect. And had a phase where she’d be all poetic and shit thinking she was Shakespeare, she got tired of talking like she was from the 1800s.

Ellie: “my love, your eyes, they remind me of a thousand sunsets…”

You: “did you take out the trash?”

She had all her favorite YouTubers and would watch them on the tv and she’d make you play among us with her because that was “the game of century” as she proclaimed.

She actually had a small mini breakdown because our poor girl found out Joel had Covid and remember that in the news it said older people were more at risk. The poor girl though Joel was gonna die and you laid in bed with Ellie who was sniffling and crying in your shirt while you rubbed her back. Those always calm her down. Then when Joel was better again she made you pinky promise not to tell anyone anything. But she did end up calling Joel more frequently.

You guys actually had spent a lot of time together and most couples who spent so much time together broke up and got bored and such and such but you two actually enjoyed you time together. You and Ellie would would go to an open park where no one was around and watch the sunset and talk about what your plans were after everything was back to normal. Ellie asked if you two could get a puppy and who can ever say no to those eyes and freckles cheeks?

Another thing you guys liked to do was spent all day in bed and cuddling. Now a lot of people will assume Ellie would be the big spoon and that can be true sometimes but the girl is a hugeeeeeee softie. She loved being the little spoon because she felt safe by feeling your soft breath ok her back or shoulder. And she’s hold a dinosaur plushie. Like always.

She cried when she watched videos of family’s finally being able to reunite or grandparents watching their families through a class. Who didn’t cry?

She loved playing just dance with you and she’d purposely pick a song where you both had to dance together because she never has the balls to ask you to dance to with her.

She had a little camcorder where she recorded almost everything in your lives at that point. You brushing your teeth, both of you eating cereal, having tickle fights, ect. What Ellie doesn’t know is that now you sometimes go to the camcorder and watch the old videos and she’d a tear here and there because you loved the memories.

Some how she was actually a beast at the toilet paper kick up challenge and got a good 14 kick ups.

You cannot tell me she didn’t buy those apple juices that actually founded like apples when you bit into them.

I lowkey just had an idea of what Ellie would be like at this time sooooo lmk what other hcs you guys might want! Also be sure to let me know if you’d like to be in the Taglists! Don’t forget to talk about Palestine guys! Free Palestine 🇵🇸 🇵🇸🇵🇸

Taglists: @vqxen @bready101 @lilylynne11 @Lively-blues @Yurixxiii @vampyangel @gato-chino @a-little-bit-of-everybody @abbysbraids

[earl-grey-teacake]

Hey! Just wanted to say I've been loving re-reading all the asks on Ao3 and I've gone back through the tags on here as well and I had a question - you've previously said that Oscar and Logan were adopted and I'm curious did Carlos and Lando and George and Alex know the mother before had? Like was it an arranged adoption or did they go through an agency? Because the idea of Carlos and Lando meeting a few babies and not getting the right vibe and then seeing Oscar and just going 'ah perfect' is quite cute.

Hello! Thank you so much!

Oscar was adopted in Australia during the week leading up to the GP. A baby left in a carrier just on the other side of the fence surrounding the track with a partially filled out form reading OSCAR and DOB: O4/06/2***. A McLaren employee heard crying and happened upon the abandoned child. Shocked, they quickly rushed the child back to McLaren hospitality before leaving to find a doctor and police. Oscar, however, did not stop crying- wailing his poor little lungs out, feeling alone and scared and utterly abandoned by the world.

Lando couldn’t stand the crying, and took the baby out of the carrier to soothe him. The infant quickly clung to Lando, having stopped crying and opted to quietly rest his head against Lando’s chest. This attachment became even more obvious when the doctor and police arrived, with Oscar refusing to go with anyone else, forcing Lando to hold him while he got a check up. The police checked to see if there was a missing person’s report or anything that could lead information on the parent, but there was nothing. This was simply an unwanted child left by the race tracks.

Lando couldn’t help but feel his heart break. This was an innocent baby that had done no wrong, he didn’t deserve this. The longer Lando held him, the more determined he was to adopt him. He loved kids, had always wanted kids, but with his work there was no time to put too much thought into it. There was also the fact that his fiancé was also a driver. Lando had never talked in-depth about kids with Carlos and there was a strong possibility he would refuse for the sake of his career. But Lando couldn’t stand not keeping Oscar, he had to adopt him, he knew that and if Carlos wasn’t supportive than Lando could be a single father. Thankfully, he didn’t have to think about that since Carlos had walked in to see Lando holding the sleeping infant and asked if Lando wanted to adopt Oscar so Carlos could have the lawyers get started on the paper work. They stayed an extra couple weeks to get the paper work filed before they flew back home to Monaco with a 1-month old baby.

**************

Alex and George went the adoption agency route. They had gotten secretly married when the entered F1 and when Alex was dropped off RedBull, they entertained the idea of adopting a child. However, with Covid, George moving up to Mercedes, and Alex moving to Williams, the plan to adopt a child was put on the back-burner. The idea was brought up again when Lando and Carlos adopted Oscar. Alex loved how George looked holding a baby, and George adored how Alex smiled when Oscar smiled back at him.

They gots lawyers, went through an agency and prayed that they would be approved. After 3 months of waiting, they received their approval notice in the mail stating they were to attend a panel and meet some children to see who would be a good fit. Within an hour, they were packed and on their way to London.

They met a couple babies, some were newborn, some could walk, and others were just learning how to talk. A person from the agency oversaw the whole thing, taking notes of interactions, how receptive the kids were to them, and how the baby’s temperaments would fit into their lives. The last baby brought out had tuft of blonde hair, light blue eyes, and a little name tag that read “LOGAN”.

He was shy and quiet, squirming in the arms of the caretaker until they placed him down as a cushion. He kept to himself but continued to stare at the couple. Alex smiled and scooted over, gently poking him and eliciting a giggle. Even though Logan couldn’t understand, Alex still spoke to him and Logan slowly responded in his own babbling before holding out his arms to be picked up. Alex quickly relented and picked up the child, holding his close to his chest as Logan played with the buttons on his shirt. George had come closer as well, poking his cheek and tickling his stomach. Logan let out a laugh and grabbed onto George’s finger and looked at him with those large, blue eyes, cementing in George’s head that this baby would be their baby.

George had looked through Logan’s file, looking to see what led to this adorable child being abandoned. There he saw the note “Born in Florida-> adopted in UK-> adoption terminated 1.5 weeks after arrival.” There was no extra information on why it was terminated and George was not keen as to the reason. Adoptions, especially foreign adoptions were difficult to obtain and the circumstances that must have led to the poor baby being here must not have been pleasant. But that didn’t matter, Logan had a new home now and it was with them. After a month of paperwork and home inspections, there were allowed to take their baby home to Monaco.

**************

Oscar is found at the race track as foreshadowing his successful future in F1.

Logan’s brief past is a nod at Logan being born in Florida, moving to Europe young, and being dropped by Williams after 1.5 years in F1.

[littlestarbigsky]

hey yall so i have covid (im feeling okay! my symptoms have been pretty mild :) so i’m about to have so much time to write- anyways here’s pt. 2 of this fic (it’s not technically a chapter fic but it’s also based off the idea of pony w breathing problems :)

so here’s darry helping pony with a breathing treatment, slight emetophobia warning (nothing graphic but it’s there)

“alright, kiddo, just try one more time for me, in and out, okay?”

darry knew if he couldn’t get pony under control soon, they’d probably have to go to the hospital. aside from them definitely not being able to afford hospital care on top of all of pony’s already very expensive treatment regiment, four trips to the hospital since september would definitely prompt a visit from social services. darry knew there was a chance they would take his brothers away, and even though it killed him to admit it, they’d be perfectly within their rights to do it.

the breath pony dragged in didn’t ease darry’s racing mind at all, especially not after he’d already used his inhaler twice.

it had all started with a small head cold, nothing out of the ordinary, especially since it was still february, but as all things did nowadays with pony, the illness had gone straight to his lungs. darry could hear him wheezing just standing up cutting vegetables for dinner, he was using his inhaler much more, and that dry, chesty, cough just didn’t seem to want to go away.

soda was normally the one who could take care of this, he knew all the tricks to get pony’s breathing calmed back down, but he was working a double and he made extra if he stayed after closing, so darry had no choice but to hunker down and prepare as much as he could. darry had initially brought pony into the bathroom and turned on the shower, the knob turned as hot as it would go, hoping that the steam would help with the cough, even if it was just for a few minutes.

at first, it had seemed like it was working, but when pony’s coughing fits started, it seemed like they never stopped. darry tried to get them under control, he really did, using all of their tricks he had already learned: deep pressure hugs, putting vapo-rub on his chest and neck, changing pony’s position about 100 times, nothing was working.

after an hour, he was seriously beginning to worry, sitting on the bathroom floor with a wheezing ponyboy leaning back against his chest, wrapped in a blanket. darry opened up the bathroom cupboard next to them and pulled out pony’s nebulizer.

“darry…” pony whined quietly, and darry felt him go tense.

“i know, honey, but we gotta get all this coughing under control,” darry ran a hand through pony’s hair, digging around in the cabinet for the medicine to put in the machine. “if this doesn’t calm down we gotta go to the hospital. and i’m gonna put more of that vapo-rub on you, that helped a little bit earlier.”

pony didn’t say anything. darry did what he could to convince himself it was because pony was conceding, however out of character that was for him. it was easier to tell himself that than think that he wasn’t complaining because he didn’t have the spare breath to.

he got the nebulizer set up and plugged in, all the while keeping pony leaned against him.

“alright, this should be good to go. can you sit up against the wall for me, little man? i gotta get the vapo-rub.”

pony shifted back and took the mouthpiece from darry as he turned it on, crawling across the bathroom floor to the edge of the bathtub where he had set up all of the supplies they may need. he picked up the tub of vapo-rub and shifted back over to pony, who was slumped against the wall, pulling in sad, short breaths.

“this might be a little cold, kiddo,” darry said softly. pony’s t-shirt had been balled up against the door so it wouldn’t stick to the vapo-rub earlier, so darry just pushed the blanket out of the way. they both pretended not to notice darry trying to feel pony’s heartbeat as he rubbed the gel over his chest. pony squeezed his eyes shut and darry felt his chest contract as he started coughing.

it felt like it would never stop once he got going, he dropped the nebulizer and pulled the blanket tighter around himself as he coughed uncontrollably. all darry could do was pull his little brother into his chest and pray that it would end soon. he knew how much pony hated the hospital, that they would just poke him and give him meds that made him feel funny and tired, but anything had to be better than this.

“i know, it’s okay, it’ll be over soon,” darry comforted, holding pony tight to him.

after a few more minutes, pony gagged and for a second it seemed like it was going to stop, but darry knew what was coming. he wasn’t sure how, but something in him knew to move pony as fast as he could. pony weakly pushed himself up onto his knees and threw up into the toilet.

it was miserable while it was happening. when he was done, he leaned back against the bathtub and pulled his knees up to his chest. darry slid over and pulled pony back into his arms, and as soon as the security of darry had wrapped itself around pony, the tears started.

“hey, don’t cry now, baby, i know that was lousy, but it’s over,” darry reached over and grabbed pony’s cup of water and held it for him as he drank feebly from the straw. “small sips, okay?”

even though it killed darry that pony had gotten sick, at least he wasn’t coughing anymore. he was able to get down some of his water and washed the foul taste out of his mouth.

“listen,” darry whispers, resting his cheek on pony’s head, one grounding hand on his chest while the other rubbed circles over his back. “can you try to do a little more of your treatment?”

pony sniffled, but nodded eventually. darry shuffled them both back over to the nebulizer, cradling pony in his lap and holding the mouthpiece for him as he breathed in the medicine.

pony was dead asleep when soda finally cracked open the bathroom door, darry holding their baby brother to his chest, the breathing treatment almost finished. maybe it was the blanket he was wrapped up in, or maybe it was because he was all curled up in a ball against their brother who was pretty big by any standard, but he looked so small. grease washed out of his hair, his skin pale and clammy, and their big brother rocking him gently, keeping him asleep while the medicine worked its way into his aching lungs.

“need me to take over?” soda asked quietly, and darry looked up at him.

darry shook his head, “i got him for now, go get changed and shower. i'm gonna bring him to sleep with me tonight.”

soda nodded, "i'll put away the nebulizer, you get him to bed."

once the treatment had finished, darry scooped pony up and carried him the few steps down the hall to his bedroom, gently setting him down on the bed before changing his own clothes. he slid into bed, pulling up the covers and tucking pony against him, his little wheezes finally starting to lighten up.

it wasn't perfect, but maybe it didn't have to be. darry could feel pony's heart beating and the deep breaths he was pulling in, and as much as he hated that pony needed a breathing treatment to get him to that point, it was worth it. if it meant that he didn't have to wake up coughing and not able to catch his breath. maybe his lungs would never really recover, but they knew how to get him better when they needed to. it was gonna be okay.

darry was almost alseep when soda quietly opened the door, hair soft and damp after his shower and dressed a pair of darry's old sweatpants, cuffed twice at the bottom because of how long they were. darry waved him over, and soda smiled, piling in next to his brothers and wrapping himself around pony’s other side.

“he sleeping?” soda whispered, darry barely nodded, exhaustion taking over. “good, don’t tell him i did this.”

soda pressed a gentle kiss to pony’s head and laid back down, already feeling drowsy next to his two sleeping brothers.

[nothingbutnowhere]

Hockey player au! Simon "Ghost" Riley headcanons. Based on the NHL

Note: suggestive of ghoap and ghoap x reader (she/her used)

Goalie. Starter. Tall, large, and most importantly: weird. Goalies are always weird, idk they just are, it's what happens when you spend half the game hanging out alone I guess

The best part of goalie Ghost is his flexibility. Have you seen how flexible goalies are? These huge, muscular men can do the splits. It's very important to me that you consider flexible Ghost, thank you.

His mask is black and white, matches his tattoos. He's the unshakable goalie, not flashy, never frustrated. Just a brick fuckin wall. If he sees it, he's going to stop it. You cannot snipe on him and score. Also his rebound control is unreal, no second chances.

He never retaliates against opposing players fucking with him because no one fucks with him due to:

His death glare, it's enough to make any and every enforcer or net nuisance shake in his skates

The Incident in the minors where he sent a guy to the hospital with a jab from his blocker and almost got kicked out of the league and banned from the NHL

On the off chance that something untoward does happen on accident, someone else will do that for him. The bond between a goalie and his defensemen cannot be understated. Ok fine. Soap. He's the defenseman, there's the spoiler.

Very superstitious, has his routines and does not deviate. Doesn't ever take his mask off on the ice, except when it breaks. Doesn't even pull it up to squirt water on his face or drink.

The loyalty that his skaters have towards him and vice versa is off the charts. Even if the media and fans don't see it, it's there. Usually guys don't speak poorly of their goalies, but this is on another level. Ferda.

Speaking of, social media people can never catch him. Like seriously where does this guy even walk in the building?? Where does he go during intermission?? Surely he practices at some point right?? He won the Veznia trophy (voted best goalie) and straight up did not show up to the ceremony.

He will go to the children's hospital to do visits with the team and the kids are either terrified or love him. Picturing him giving out the little teddy bears 😭

Caught covid despite his vigilant PPE usage (hockey locker rooms are cesspools like ew), got really sick, and developed myocarditis; ie almost died multiple times, recovered insanely fast and then just showed back up to practice one day at 100% like "put me in coach". No one outside of the trainers and locker room even knew why he was gone to begin with. Wild stuff.

Hockey players tend to tack on an '-y' or sometimes '-er' to a name for funsies but no one gets to call him 'Ghosty'. (Maybe Soap can call him that in private, as a treat 🥺)

Hockey hair status: he shaves his head boooo (not that you'd even be able to tell really with his mask and use of hats and hoods). Won't even grow out facial hair during the playoffs. Maybe if he did then he'd have a cup. Smh.

Roster pic: the meanest mug you've ever seen on a guy

Mic'd up status: everyone thinks he's unmic-able, however he's secretly telling jokes to himself when the puck is in the other zone. But no one needs to know that.

WAG status: if he had one we would never know... Right? He's always in the background of photos that Soap's girlfriend takes and posts of her and Soap? Much speculation.

...

I do NOT consent for my works, part of my works, or my ideas to be used for ANY form of AI.

Note: WAG stands for wife and girlfriend or the plural, used to refer to sports guys significant others. Yes it is heteronormative.

A/N: I'll never actually write fics for this, but I have headcanons. I know a moderate amount about hockey and next to nothing about cod so apologies. Completely unserious. Just some silly little thoughts :) plus letterkenny reference!

Edit for typo

More hockey au: Soap | Gaz | Price

[respectthepetty]

Addicted Heroin (Th) Colors & Chaos - Special Episode

Did the special episode for Addicted Heroin offer any answers about the time jump we got in the first episode? No! Did it explain why we were shown Hero in the hospital screaming in the trailer? No! Did we get the infamous car accident even though we were shown the car had faulty brakes (thanks to a creepy brother)? Also no! But I got color-coded boys in love, and that's all that really matters!

Plus I got way more of my side couple in this episode than I did the entirety of the actual season, so who am I to be upset at this show for making no sense?

I don't need logic when I have a Green Guy and Blue Boy running away from a crazy father to an island just in time for the pandemic to cause everything to be locked down.

If it gets me more of my Pink Person and Yellow Yal, then I'm willing to sacrifice logic!

Because even though everything is locked down, the kids are still going to school without masks.

While the two little runaways are masked up on the island and buying color-coded swords.

So they can get drunk and play with them later as they fantasize about being in a wuxia, but not in a gay way. No! They were actually playing with the swords.

Because the director was determined to make sure that he only alluded to them having sex because heaven forbid they actually kiss on the lips!

The Chinese version wasn't even this censored!

But, once again, I'm here for colors, not for a rationale plot or reasonable merch!

So what if Hero gets shot with rubber bullets at the market because his dad sent an entire ARMY to bring him back dead or alive?!

What does it matter that a gorgeous woman showed up for three whole minutes and rescued him out of nowhere, only to creepily spray her perfume on him as if marking her territory?

Is it important that Hero knows his brother is a creep who keeps trying to sexually assault Pop?!

No! Because the whole entire military is after two gay kids during a pandemic!

AND THE KIDS HAVE TO OUTSMART THEM!

Hero and his creepy brother really just told these men to lie to their dad, and they did! I know this is the plot to a Disney Channel original movie. It has to be!

But it makes perfect sense that the military is pro-homo since this is their training.

Is it homoerotic?

Or just homo?

Doesn't matter to me because as long as I keep getting my side couple, I don't give two shits how this story is falling apart like a Temu sweater.

I'm getting color-coded boys in love with implied sex, who just pulled the gay version of speaking-to-the-manager to get out of returning home, so not one second of this Disney Channel original movie needs to make a lick of sense for me to enjoy it!

Although Poppy is very upset that they are not in school, screwing up their chances of going to college, isolated on an island away from his family during a pandemic, and just chilling with the creepy brother, he still loves Hero as he wears his color, so if he is good with this shitshow, then I'm Gucci.

And even though we both know the cars that Hero's creepy brother gave them are death traps since the brakes didn't work when Pop tried to drive away, I'm ignoring that just like the characters did because this special episode was made from scenes that were meant for a second season that is never happening, so . . . fuck it! We ball!

The boys go camping on the beach because that's what one does when the plot isn't making even one iota of sense.

But the camping trip is color coded, so I'm happy!

And the special episode ends with Hero's dad calling them to say they can come home because Pop's mom has been crying that the kids could die from COVID (yet not from the dad sending an army to kill them!).

But the kids don't come home because it's a pandemic, and they are in lockdown.

The End

***********

And this is why I need people to watch trash because some of you need to be humbled. Y'all are watching perfectly good shows and ripping them apart over trivial aspects while THIS CLUSTERFUCK IN A SILK SHIRT EXISTS!

AND I STILL LOVED IT!

Bless

[wowbright]

Anderson’s Guide to the Birds of North America, Chapter 9: Into You

Summary: Fourteen scenes from the lives of Blaine Anderson, grad student and avid birder, and Kurt Hummel, clothing designer and Vogue writer, from before their first meeting during the COVID lockdowns of spring of 2020 through falling in love. Written for the Klaine Valentine’s Challenge 2025.

Also on AO3.

~~~

Chapter 9: Into You

Kurt designed the costumes. Blaine put up flyers around the neighborhood. Rachel posted announcements to Facebook and NextDoor. Cooper, on the evening of the event, marched up and down the street like a town crier calling everyone to their windows a half hour before sunset.

Kurt and Blaine set up their folding chairs six feet apart on the sidewalk opposite Kurt and Rachel's apartment. Blaine set his digital camera onto a tripod and waited.

Above them, people leaned on windowsills and sat on fire escapes. Across the street, people trickled out of their buildings and came over to the sidewalk where Kurt and Blaine already sat, some with chairs or blankets to sit on, others opting to stand or lean against the wall, all fanning out in socially distanced bubbles.

It was essential, Cooper had said, to “get everyone watching us.” And there everyone was, waiting for the performance.

Rachel crawled out onto the fire escape and straightened her costume. She looked wonderful, if Kurt did say so himself. Blaine turned on the camera and gave her the thumbs up.

There's a place for us—

Her voice rang through the air. Everyone on the street and in their windows fell silent. The only sounds were distant cars and the mumble of talk radio from someone’s apartment.

Somewhere a place for us. Peace and quiet and open air Wait for us Somewhere.

Kurt heard someone whisper “She’s as good as Barbra!”

Rachel didn't sing the entire song from West Side Story. They had decided it should be just long enough to get the neighbors’ attention, to make them long for a repeat later in the performance. We'll find a new way of living, We'll find a way of forgiving. Somewhere . . . Somewhere... Rachel faded out and stared off into a nearby treetop.

Cooper appeared from around the corner, his voice booming down the block. “But, soft! What light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun! Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon, who is already sick and pale with grief, that thou her maid art far more fair than she.”

It had required a considerable amount of energy on the part of both Kurt and Blaine to dissuade Cooper from actually climbing the fire escape. First of all, social distancing rules were still in place. Second of all, letting people jump up onto the fire escape for recreational purposes was against Kurt and Rachel's lease, if not also illegal.

Rachel had been of little help during these arguments, because she did enjoy a dramatic staging, and besides, an emergency moratorium on evictions was in place, so would it really matter if they violated the lease? It wasn't until Kurt brought up the possibility that Cooper might slip and go kersplat on the sidewalk that she and Cooper conceded—not because Cooper was worried about his own health and safety (“I'm willing to die for my art!” he had declared) but because if he ended up in the hospital, he would be another straw added to the back of the camel that was their already overtaxed healthcare system.

“Good night, good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow that I shall say good night till it be morrow,” Rachel said with the perfect degree of pathos. Blaine dabbed his eyes with a kerchief that matched his mask.

The spectators roared for more.

Rachel and Cooper gave it to them, in the form of two duets: “Le Balcon” from Gérard Presgurvic’s musical Roméo et Juliette: de la Haine à l'Amour and a full performance of “Somewhere.”

Now it was Kurt's turn to pull out a handkerchief. The song had taken on a whole new layer for him in light of the lockdown and Blaine. Things were hard right now, but someday there would be a time and place for holding hands and truly living.

Cooper and Rachel took their bows to more thunderous applause. “That’s how I want it!” Cooper shouted, egging the neighbors on in their admiration of his performance until everyone was too tired of shouting.

“Look what you started!” Kurt said to Blaine as people drifted back inside their apartments.

Blaine shook his head, but his eyes smiled over his mask. “Cooper was driving me nuts. I had to think of something to keep us both from cracking. And I had wooing people on their balconies on my mind. Put two and two together, and voila!”

“Well, as good as Romeo was at wooing,” Kurt said with a soft smile hidden by his mask, “I know someone who's even better at it.”

“Do you, now?”

“I do.”

[sirenalpha]

I've been trying to figure out The Timeline for Pitt because I've seen different things in fic and I need it straight for my own sanity

s2 is supposed to take place July 4th 10 months after s1 so I'm taking that as July 4th 2026

so s1 is early September 2025 even if the show premiered in Jan

Langdon is R4 in 2025 and I'm assuming that rolls over in spring because of graduating from med school idk specific dates couldn't find any

he has two kids under 4 so the earliest Tanner could have been born is late 2021 if he's turning 4 in 2025

2021 is also when Langdon became an intern so he would have worked COVID as end of year MS3, MS4, and intern (same for Collins who is also R4)

Langdon says he told Robby that he injured his back moving his parents so his injury had to have happened 2021 or later after he matched for residency if he told Robby his attending about it when it happened and he got treatment in the same hospital because he might not have been there at all before his residency

some fics have been pulling from other sources where the original bg for Langdon was he overcame a devastating back injury before becoming a doctor, but I don't think they went with that in the show and people are going for SCI but I don't think that makes sense for him getting prescribed benzos

the show seems to indicate Langdon did something to the muscles of his back not his spine while moving his parents at some point after 2021

and then based purely on vibes I feel like it can't have been more than a year or so since his injury, so he moved his parents like early 2024, idk if that's a long enough timeline for him to escalate to diverting drugs but I just think it hasn't been that long that he's been doing this

[she-walked-away]

Favorite Fandom Memories

Thanks @thisbuildinghasfeelings for this fun (and emotional) tag game of reflection!!! And also tagging me along with @strandnreyes, @rmd-writes, @welcometololaland, and @annoyingcloudearthquake!!! I am so touched :)

So- I have been watching live since season 1 and lurked here until about season 3 because I wasn't quite sure how much I wanted to immerse myself into a new fandom after my years in the TRENCHES during the TVD years. But, there are so many episodes that I watched live that brought me so much joy and I would come lurk here and watch the fandom go wild!! I remember watching the first half of the season 1 finale and being aghast that they were "breaking up" and then even MORE aghast that I had to go grocery shopping (it was covid times) before finishing it and scrolled on twitter during the rest of the episode to figure out how Tarlos was going to end the season LMAO. Also, going in 2x12 and not knowing what to expect and going through LOTS of emotions there and then straight being GOBSMACKED that we were getting a sexy scene and literally saying out loud "Well, thats a way to start a fire!!!" and my spouse cackling at me in the background. PUSH MY BELOVED!!! I was frozen (like TK jjkjkjkjk dont kill me) to my floor watching the montage because I DID NOT KNOW they would be getting back together and it was quite literally one of my favorite moments EVER on TV. The proposal! I SAT UP AND NEARLY YEETED MY CHILD OFF THE COUCH the minute I saw TK awake in their bed. Then everything else was a blur and I watched it a ZILLION TIMES after.

2. SLIDING INTO ANNE'S DMs @thisbuildinghasfeelings!! I had SO MANY thoughts and feeling about how Abandoned would go and I still essentially didn't have any fandom friends (I was still half lurking it was entirely self inflicted lmao) and I remember being like WHERE DID HER ACCOUNT GO?? And I found her temporary account and the THEORIES BEGAN!!! It's been the most fun theorizing with her and fitting in all the puzzle pieces from our most accurate theories to our WILDEST ones

3. Reading everybody's fic!! I discovered fanfiction at the wee age of 12 in 2002 when I was looking for General Hospital stories (lmao) and then started actually writing it myself in 2005 but I burned out in 2019 after years of TVD writing so the creativity is gone and reading everybody's Tarlos fics have been such a fun experience. There are AUs, canon compliant, canon divergent, etc and I have ENJOYED THEM SO MUCH. I had to get back into my AO3 account after years of being unable to remember my account or password lol, because I just had to leave as much unhinged thots as I could because every single writer in this fandom is so TALENTED and should be celebrated.

4. The hiatus. Which, okay it really did suck DKJHFAD. But, I loved just being on tumblr here and watching everybody still stay around and scream and cry over the same scenes we have watched and analyzed to death like we were seeing them again for the first time! We were in the trenches but I also loved it because it gave me such a reprieve from real life after having my second tiny human.

5. THE LIVES. I miss them so much. They were so unhinged and will never forget the drunk aunts in the cabin before season 2 <3

Tagging some: @ladytessa74, @lemonlyman-dotcom, @carlos-in-glasses, @reyesstrand, @heartstringsduet, @guardian-angle22 @emsprovisions @herefortarlos

Open tag to everybody else!!! YOU ARE ALL AMAZING FANDOM FRIENDS AND I WANT TO KNOW YOUR MEMS!!!

[laswells-ashtray]

I'm with you from being from a rough hometown. I'm Irish and even though I'm not from the worst I can list the following

-House 3 doors down from me was petrol bombed (there was gossip about it for weeks)

-We do fireworks every year (which are illegal) but the garda don't do anything, just watch them with us.

-Guy got chopped up a bit outside a school.

-Some funerals have the place looking like a COD multiplayer match with how much armed garda are needed to keep the peace.

-House next door got raided multiple times by the armed response unit to the point where after the first time I'd just chat to them about guns because I'd never seen one before.

-Garda got called on us once (moms a gowl) and my dad just had a nice chat with them and showed them his airsoft guns which they took turns shooting in the back garden. I think he sold some to them.

There's probably more but I'd love to hear about your town if you're okay with sharing!

See, this I like. I enjoy the bonding.

A 17 year old stabbed a 14 year old in the throat a little while back, and literally, the only question anyone asked was, "Did it happen at the bus station?" Aye, it did.

A man got shot near where I used to live during covid, released himself from the hospital the next night to come back to the place he was shot and stab the person who did it.

We just have like an infamous drug dealing spot under a bridge, and everyone knows about it, but the only approach people take to it is "don't stand there for too long or you'll get stabbed".

There was a murderer who got caught near my town, and his parents ended up moving into my town, as did he after he was released from prison. I am related to him, though. He was chiller than that made him sound.

We recently had an elderly woman get her face kicked in at the bus station.

At the train station, five men teamed up to kick the ever living fuck out of another passenger and they might've stabbed him but I can't remember.

There was a drug dealer who routinely beat the life out of people and may have killed a handful. He's also a distant family relation.

We have like one local club, other spits to drink but this is the only like typical "club" place. There's a group of old men that hang around and fuck around with people half of their age. I've been to this club twice. The first time, I was assaulted, the second time I was spiked. I will go back because that's pretty low level for this town.

[covid-safer-hotties]

Hospitals are killing patients because they don't feel like doing infection control - Published Aug 23, 2023

An oldie but a goodie from The Gauntlet's Julia Doubleday

By: Julia Doubleday

People who have gone “back to normal” (ignore the existence of COVID-19) often justify their decision by pointing to their own health status as “not high risk”. Implicit in this statement is the existence of a high-risk group of people who should still be taking COVID precautions. Also implicit is the abandonment of collective care and public health, since the “back to normal” crowd places the burden of COVID precaution on disabled, immunocompromised and vulnerable people alone.

For the most part, high risk groups indeed shoulder this burden alone. They are no longer safe in public and many limit their time in critical spaces like grocery stores and pharmacies; forget going to concerts or other “inessential” activities. Millions of Long COVID patients in particular, all too aware of what a single COVID infection can do, have to expend inordinate time, energy, and money simply to continue existing in a society hellbent on infecting them again and again and again. But you might guess that healthcare settings- specifically designed to accommodate the sick and injured- are still a safe haven for vulnerable groups.

Guess again! As COVID continues to cycle through new variants and surges, hospitals are stripping away even the inadequate infection control measures they implemented at the beginning of the pandemic. Come in for heart surgery, leave with a heart-damaging virus. What a business model!

As of early 2021, it was scientifically established beyond any doubt that COVID, like TB, is a fully airborne virus. This means that it spreads and can hang in the air like smoke; it means that contrary to early public health instructions, you can indeed become infected at distances greater than six feet, and that unsealed masks like the blue surgical ones often seen in hospitals are inadequate to prevent infection. (To be clear, surgicals are far better than nothing; they are simply not the proper type of mask to best prevent infection with a fully airborne disease. For that, you need a mask that forms a seal around your nose and mouth.)

The pandemic might have been controlled in early 2020 if the WHO had defaulted to the precautionary principle and acted as if COVID-19 could be airborne. Instead they confidently announced that COVID was droplet spread- as in, spread via coughs and sneezes- and discouraged people from proper mask wearing. Their incorrect guidance also trained people to adopt measures like social distancing and hand washing, which are inadequate to control COVID, yet are still mentioned in public health guidance to this day. Even some healthcare workers remain under the impression that surgical masks are a proper tool for prevention of COVID spread, a reality that can be observed by stepping into any doctor’s office.

You might assume that the WHO had a very good reason to announce that COVID was droplet spread in 2020; I also made that incorrect assumption. In truth, the WHO and other bodies made a guess about the way COVID spread based on decades of bad science, as is fully explored in this fascinating paper, “What were the historical reasons for the resistance to recognizing airborne transmission during the COVID-19 pandemic?” I encourage you to read the entire thing, but essentially, the health establishment did not like to be challenged on something it had long considered conventional wisdom (most respiratory viruses are droplet spread), and those who dismissed those challenges additionally did not understand physics very well.

The WHO’s announcement and subsequent bad public health advice should be a major scandal, not least because there was never any solid evidence demonstrating droplet spread of COVID-19. Professor Jose-Luis Jimenez, an aerosol expert and an author on the above linked paper, goes further and notes that “[Droplet transmission] has NEVER been demonstrated directly for any disease in entire history of medicine.” The lessons of COVID could revolutionize infectious disease control, if the medical establishment would learn them. Instead, two and a half years after a watershed discovery, the medical establishment is still struggling with the game-changing revelation that most diseases thought to be “droplet-spread,” like colds and flus, are in fact fully airborne.

Infection control is a primary duty of hospitals. If you’re like me, meaning a human being with a brain and heart, you probably think allowing the leading cause of infectious disease death in the US to spread freely in hospitals is both immoral and incomprehensible. But of course, our media always sees two sides to every story. For example, we have the incredibly titled Washington Post piece, “Masks come off in the last refuge for mandates: The doctor’s office”. I want to take a moment to really appreciate the amount of bias packed into this short title. It’s not “Masks come off in the place really sick people are forced to go,” it’s not “Masks come off as patients die,” it’s not “Masks come off as disabled people avoid care.” No. It’s “Masks come off in the last refuge for mandates.” The last refuge for mandates! The hospital could more accurately be called “the last refuge for people who might die of COVID,” but no, the subject being protected by masking in hospitals was the scary right-wing buzzword mandates. Wow! Another win for freedom.

In this article about the defeat of the horrible mandates, the victims, sorry I mean patients, are framed as having one perspective about whether their doctors should purposely infect them with diseases, while the lovely professionals who simply “don’t wanna” are framed as having an equally valid point of view.

Disabled, sick, immunocompromised and vulnerable people seeking care at a hospital, have the right not to be exposed to a virus that has killed 1.1 million Americans in 3.5 years. They have the right to seek care without having to fear that their care team will quite literally kill them with a preventable illness. Practitioners, on the other hand, have no right to compare the irritation of having to wear a mask at work with the moral injury of infecting vulnerable people who then go on to die at high rates.

No one has the right to compare the inconvenience of masks with the pain of parents begging their 6-year-old child’s oncology care team to stop forcibly exposing their vulnerable daughter during hospital visits. If you are unaware, cancer patients undergoing treatment are often severely immunocompromised. Even prior to the pandemic, people did their best not to expose cancer patients to milder diseases like flus and colds. The family of the 6-year-old is considering moving to another state- if they can find one that still cares about not giving high-risk kindergarteners deadly viruses for the crime of getting cancer treatment.

While the US attempts to bury data around hospital acquired COVID infections, we fortunately have access to statistics from other parts of the world which haven’t quite reached our level of Negligent Patient Murder Conspiracy. A study in BC found that as of November 2021, 1,619 patients were infected, and 274 patients died. A rate of 16.9%. A study looking at all of the hospital acquired COVID within the NHS system found at least 69,377 cases and 14,047 deaths- a staggering rate of 20.2%. Let’s take a look at data collected only after the availability of vaccines- in 2022. Victoria Health Authority data from Australia found that that year, over 3,000 patients acquired COVID in the hospital in the province, and at least 344- just over 10%- died of their infections.

1 in 5. 1 in 10. Would you take those odds as a vulnerable patient in need of treatment?

Of course, looking only at deaths doesn’t incorporate the other negative outcomes of COVID infection, including Long COVID, new onset health problems, delayed recovery, lost income, higher medical bills, and poorer prognosis. Why should patients seeking care have to risk any or all of the above?

I can’t believe I have to say this, but infection control is not something that can happen part time, in some cases, or only during surges. As with gloves for bloodborne or hand washing for fomite transmission, protocols for airborne infection control are a set of practices implemented permanently and consistently to protect patients and healthcare workers alike. We don’t stop hand washing because norovirus cases are down. We don’t stop wearing gloves because HIV cases are down. As a doctor, if you’re arguing that you should be able to expose patients to COVID because infection control annoys you, you should not be a doctor. Find a new career. I bet you’d love denying insurance claims. I bet you’d be a natural.

Making this picture even more hair-tearingly frustrating for disabled people avoiding healthcare settings is that the counter-argument for proper airborne infection control really is nothing beyond “don’t wanna.” There is no logical argument for allowing the spread of COVID-19 in healthcare settings. There is no scientific debate about the ways in which COVID is spreading. There is no risk analysis which shows that cancer patients or people who’ve just had heart attacks should consider a COVID infection to be no big deal. There is literally no excuse for this bizarre, unscientific mistreatment of patients other than gross incompetence, institutional negligence, and systemic ableism.

I should note that in the weeks and months since I have been made aware of and worked on this issue, I have met dozens of wonderful healthcare workers who are appalled by this medieval treatment and stand in solidarity with the many patients now avoiding care. Doctors, nurses, surgeons, researchers, aerosol experts and more are on the frontlines arguing against continued violation of patient and worker rights in the form of forcible exposure. While some healthcare workers are certainly sneering at infection prevention, many others are well aware that their profession puts them at high risk for long COVID, and that even spikes in short-term illness translate to absences and staff disruptions in an industry that was already suffering prior to the pandemic. A study in Brazil found the rate of Long COVID following infection among healthcare workers to be a shocking 27%. In this 2022 article, Infection Control Today notes that Long COVID is exacerbating worker shortages in all industries, but particularly healthcare.

A recent survey from the British Medical Association found that, among doctors who contracted Long COVID, about one in five were no longer able to work due to ill health, and nearly half reported lost income. Three quarters of those surveyed attributed their infection to the workplace; the massive labor rights issues at play here have been largely ignored by most unions, with the notable exception of NNU. The nurses’ union is currently organizing to push the CDC and its infection control advisory body, HICPAC, to fully acknowledge airborne transmission as they consider loosening guidelines even further.

I had the dubious honor of attending a HICPAC meeting yesterday, where after two hours of discussion that somehow evaded the elephant in the room, public commenters were finally given an opportunity to point it out. While none of the infection control experts had mentioned either COVID or aerosol transmission, every single commenter brought up both. Armed with studies, personal experiences, and common sense, commenters pointed out the obvious as the panel squirmed. COVID is airborne. So where is the airborne infection control? Mere hours after the meeting concluded, the CDC removed access to a publicly-available recording of the session.

The reluctance to adopt proper infection control in hospitals ultimately stems, not from employees, but from the financial interests of the hospitals themselves. Proper airborne infection control isn’t limited to high-quality masks; you also need things like testing upon entry, space for isolation of positive cases and negative pressure rooms, improved indoor air quality and CO2 monitoring, and HEPA filtration. You’d need to test your staff consistently and give them paid leave when positive. All of that represents a large and costly investment; and our for-profit medical system is hardly known for its generosity nor its value for human lives.

As to the bewildering reality of practitioners who chose not to mask in their pathogen-laden workplace and continue to downplay the dangers of the virus, I would posit a psychological explanation. Since 2021, this country has been in the throes of a post-pandemic delusion that continues to disable and kill millions as COVID spreads and evolves. President Joe Biden declared the pandemic “over,” and article after article after article informed us that continual reinfection was just fine for our health. As a result, most doctors, like most other people, went “back to normal.” They sent their kids to school. They visited their parents. They traveled. And, relevantly, they watched as their loved ones were infected 2, 3, 4 or 5 times, likely on their advice and with their blessing. They are therefore, incredibly, personally, terrifyingly, invested in the hope that COVID is actually a cold.

I don’t even know how to touch on the creepy “but we need to see smiles” thing, which is better evidence of some sort of psychological denial at play than I could possibly invent. Patients in hospitals don’t need to see smiles to get proper medical care, obviously. They need infection control measures that prevent further illness. Is this a real argument?

Historically, doctors and the medical establishment are slow to adopt new infection control measures. If you’ve spent some time reading about the ongoing reluctance of medical bodies to acknowledge fully airborne transmission, you’re probably familiar with the story of Ignaz Semmelweis by now. An OB-GYN who observed a significant reduction in mortality when he washed his hands, he attempted to introduce hand washing to other doctors as an infection control measure. He was met with mockery and rejection by the medical community, ultimately had a nervous breakdown, and died in a mental institution. The “Semmelweis Reflex,” a phenomenon where people reflexively reject new information that would contradict their prior beliefs, is named for him.

I would characterize what is happening in hospitals- which, to put it plainly, is the murder of vulnerable people for convenience- as the point where the “back to normal” delusion collides with the inconvenient reality that vulnerable people exist in society. In any other context, it’s easy to imagine that sick, disabled and immunocompromised people can simply remove themselves from danger, or properly mask themselves for short periods of time. In the hospital setting, we have to choose. Either COVID is not very dangerous, or we’ve been purposely exposing our friends, family, loved ones and communities to a disease that disables and kills. The mental burden of the latter is impossible to accept; so some working in the hospital system default to the former. Sad though it may be, I do not believe patients should have to cosplay 2019 for their practitioner’s mental health.

Airborne infection control is not new. TB clinics implement it; nurses and doctors in TB clinics do not contract TB. Hospitals are refusing to implement COVID infection control because of the costs; many practitioners are going along because it’s hard to understand how “back to normal” could logically exist side-by-side with a healthcare system employing such stringent controls. If COVID is bad for sick people, might it be bad for everyone? If hospitals have to expend such resources to control infections, maybe schools should be doing so. If schools are doing it, why not workplaces? Or public transit? It’s almost like controlling infections in hospitals would challenge the comforting narrative that constant COVID reinfection is just dandy for your health. So we pretend it’s 2019. We pretend COVID is a cold. And our collective fantasy of “normality” continues to sicken and kill those who seek care.

[talkethtothehandeth]

I’m wondering if I caused my stenosis (doubt it bc the origin of my main abdominal artery is is twisty) and my second thought is “even *if* I did, why would they not help me as I am now?”

I’ve been passed around and having to sign an advanced directive (after my mother warned me to just last year) been called fat, and when they couldn’t call me fat anymore (because I lost so much weight) they called me crazy. The specialist said “this means nothing” and sighed when I kept pushing that something was wrong. I had never felt so much hatred towards an individual, I had never felt that level of animosity. And it made me hide myself even more. Because maybe I was wrong, maybe, even with the evidence that my arteries are narrowed, even with the proof in the papers, I was the one who was wrong.

Sometimes I think I am crazy, sometimes it’s the doubtful way, but other times it’s like the manic type of crazy— “borderline” as my partner kindly reminds me of. (I have bipolar and borderline and have managed VERY well, all things considered)

I gained most of the weight back, by the way. And then lost it when I got COVID, and then gained it, and lost it again, and back and forth and back and forth.

I also lost myself along the way. When the fifth doctor dismissed me, I think. Or maybe it was when I looked my last doctor in the eye and said, “if you’re not going to help me, I’d like you to send me to someone who will.” I wanted to hurt her, lash out, break something, break her the way she broke me. But I just remained sitting, serious, and angry.

I’m angry still. I’m so angry, so hurt and so outraged at the dismissal. Im so tired, the lack of nutrition and hydration always catching up to me. Seeing the changes in my body and face all the time that I can’t even recognize myself most days. I’m so sad, not knowing if it’s true that I have less than five years to go before I’m gone. I don’t know if it’s true that there’s an 80% chance I’ll die anyway if it escalates. I’ve been to the Mayo Clinic, who said they wanted so badly to help me, but they didn’t get the images from my in state hospital even after I signed a form giving permission. But the artery is parent, so I must be fine.

But I’m not fine. Two of my arteries have stenosis, I’m malnourished, and I’m dropping weight again. I haven’t been fine for years. And I’m waiting for the day I can rest, and I fear it will only be when I close my eyes for the final time.