#and I accept that some of these thoughts come from already knowing about what they did to get Duvall's performance
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
netflix and (not) chill
Lara Raj x readerÂ
âIt was a good idea to watch a movie with your girlfriend, until you complimented one of the charactersâÂ
Genre â Fluff  Warnings â None (request)
Now playing â The boy is mine, By Ariana GrandeÂ
"Okay, I think we've got it all here!" You said, walking up to your girlfriend, Lara, who was sitting on the couch in your apartment. Â
Lara loved to go to your loft, it was cozy and away from the noise of the Kats. Not that she didn't love those girls, but whenever you two needed some alone time, this was the perfect place. Today, you and your girlfriend were in deep relaxation mode, and all you wanted was to watch a good movie and snuggle up together on the couch.Â
The smell of the homemade pizza you two made was all over the air, and the bottle of wine you'd opened was already ready to be poured into the fancy glasses you'd bought for dates like this. It was Lara's turn to choose the movie, so after a long conversation she decided that you would see "Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham", an Indian movie, which according to Lara was "One of the best movies I've ever seen!", so you gladly accepted, excited to know more about your girlfriend's movie tastes and culture.Â
"Then come join me, baby." Lara said as she patted the seat next to her on the couch. Â
With excitement, you sat down quickly on the couch, snuggling next to Lara as you handed her a glass of wine, which you had poured. Â
"All right, we can start." You say, before you press play, Lara turned her head in your direction. Â
"Okay, listen to me, cutie. Whatever you're thinking of doing, save it for after the movie, I really want to watch it until the end." Lara said, knowing your history of almost never watching the movies until the end when the two of you are alone. Â
"I promise, I wasn't even thinking about it, pretty girl." You say, showing your pinky, hoping that Lara would intertwine hers with yours.Â
With a snort and a laugh of amusement, Lara intertwined her pinky with yours, pulling you lightly towards her and giving a small kiss on your lips. Â
"See, you're the one who always starts-"Â Â
"Shii, the movie is going to start." Lara said, smiling at the red-haired girl's antics, you started watching the movie, taking sips of wine and eating your slices of pizza. Â
The movie was fantastic, you couldn't remember the last time you were so involved in such a long movie. You loved the filmography, the character development, the story, everything was simply artistic and very well thought out. Lara would make some comments about the movie occasionally, just talking about how she loved some scene and how she remembered watching the movie with her parents and sister. Â
You really understood why she spoke so highly of the film, it was really captivating. You laughed when one of your favorite characters appeared on the scene, playing her role beautifully and making everything look funny and professional at the same time. You learned that the actress's name was Kajol (courtesy of Lara), and she played Anjali Raichand, married to Rahul, one of the main characters.Â
"She's so funny." You said, a harmless compliment. "It's kind of charming, she's very beautiful." Another innocent compliment, at least for you.  Â
Lara, who was very focused on the film, had her attention diverted for the first time. Had you just said that a woman was beautiful in front of her? I mean, she knows she's an actress, and she's a lot older than you, and that you're probably never going to see each other in your life, but so what? Had you just said that a woman was beautiful in front of your girlfriend? Â
You continued with your attention focused on the movie, not even noticing the enraged look your girlfriend was giving you right now. You know Lara is jealous from birth, but you didn't mean it badly, you just innocently let it out. Â
Stretching your arm to place it on Lara's shoulder, you quickly felt the Indian girl shrug her shoulders, a silent motion to get you off her. Looking at her, you saw her arms crossed over her chest, the girl's eyebrows were furrowed, and for a moment you wondered if you had done something wrong. Â
"Baby, what's wrong?" You asked, puppy eyes looking at the girl who seemed indifferent to your doubts. Â
"Nothing, I'm just too hot here to be hugged." Lara said, shrugging once again, the girl's eyes glued to the TV. Oh, something was very wrong. Â
When the movie was finally over, you stood up, putting the dirty dishes and glasses in the sink and coming back to tell Lara that you would go upstairs to the room in a minute, only to no longer find the fire-haired girl on the couch. Confused, you went back to the kitchen, washing everything very quickly and going up even faster. Â
When you entered the room, you saw your girlfriend already in her pajamas, one of your shirts - which were too big on her - and only a black panty. Getting closer, you crawled until you were on top of the distracted girl on her phone, starting to distribute kisses down the back covered by the fabric of her (your) shirt.Â
"You look so pretty in my clothes, baby" You said, startled as your girlfriend quickly turned on the bed, knocking you off her. Â
"I thought I wasn't pretty enough for you." Lara says, getting out of bed and walking to the bathroom, starting to smear some skin care products on her face.  Â
Dazed on the bed, you stood up, still trying to process why she would have said that.Â
"Baby, I don't understand. What does that mean?" You asked, scratching the back of your neck, leaning against the bathroom door frame. Â
"Ask Anjali." That was all the Indian girl had to say to make you know why she was acting like that. Â
"Baby, no. Please, let's not do that." You said, throwing your head back before approaching the girl who was looking at herself in the mirror of your bathroom, putting your arms around her waist. Â
"Do what? I thought you thought she was pretty. Why don't you ask her what you were going to ask for me?!" Lara says, turning around in your arms and arching an eyebrow as she looks at you. Â
Deciding to mess with the girl, you shrug, taking your hands from her waist and turning around to leave the bathroom. Â
"Alright, do you know if she has Instagram? Maybe I'll DM her..."Â
You barely finished speaking when you felt a tug on your shirt, pulling you back into the bathroom and pinning you against the sink. Â
"YOU WHAT?" Lara said, a smile starting to escape you. "Yn, I swear if you laugh I'll snatch that little smile off your face!" Lara said, pointing at you with the sharp nails she wore. Â
"Wow, calm down Freddy Krueger, I was just kidding." You said laughing and taking Lara's hand in yours. Â
"What did you just call me?" Cutting off the red-haired girl's speech, you kissed Lara in surprise.Â
Lara gave a small punch on your shoulder before giving herself completely to the kiss. You knew she wasn't really mad, she just wanted a little reminder that she was the woman of your life, and that you would always be with her. Â
"Are you calmer?" You said, hugging the Indian girl and kissing the top of her head. "Look, there might be a thousand beautiful girls all over the world, they got nothinâ on you, baby." You said, rocking your body along with hers in your arms. Â
"Did you just recite Bruno Mars?" Lara said, looking up to meet your eyes. A smile on your face, making the shortest girl mirror your action.Â
"Of course, he gets the message across." You said, winking at her. But letting out a little "Auch" when the girl slaps you again, this time on your biceps.  Â
 "If a thousand beautiful girls were around you, you'd be wearing a blindfold." Â
Oh, how you loved this woman.Â
Hey guys, I love this request! It sure is Crazy Girl!Lara and Yn coded.
Speaking of movies, have you seen the Golden Globes? What did you think? I was particularly happy for Fernanda Torres and Demi Moore. I was hoping that Mikey Madison would win something from Anora, bc everyone was saying she looked fantastic in the movie, but maybe next time.
stay safe, I just learned about fires in LA, and I'm sending all the positive energy to the people who were affected by this.
xoxo, spider.
214 notes
¡
View notes
Text
Sevika, and reader on her period headcanon...
Sevika is in her late 30s and probably doesn't suffer with her period-or do-, but dating a younger woman, at the peak of hormones and period, makes her think about her time and asks herself how she handles you and all your versions during it.
She knows your period is coming by just seeing your breasts swelling, some complaints about your back hurting, and mood changing during the day as you always do but never remember it's that time of the month.
She always has a lot of pads, your favorite food stockpiled, medicine for your various pains, always ready to massage your back, legs and belly, brings you a lot of water and a hot water bottle for cramps.
"Doll, it's normal to have a period. Don't be angry or disgusting for it. I know you don't like having pains, and all that stuff period brings on, but it's normal. And you have me by your side."
Your mood swings are a challenge for her, but she handles somehow. Just like the day you two were walking around Zaun, enjoying a street food you begged her to buy and then she notices you're not by her side, looking back to see you stuck in the place, your eyes on the ground, on your food on the ground. She immediately ran back to you, soothing you as your eyes filled with tears and mumbled that you haven't even bitten. "That's alright, doll. Have mine and everything is fine."
Or the day she made a joke at the wrong time and wrong place, making everyone at the table in Last Drop alternate gaze between you two just to look away when you lashed out on her and left the place without her. Or the day a woman looked at her for too long, and you had to show that woman that your woman was your woman. Or tried to throw punches at every man whistling at you- Ran had to stop you and Sevika at this one.
She thought your period cravings were something else. Why so much sugar?!? It's was possible worse than pregnancy cravings. "Are you on your period, or are you pregnant?
"I'm craving something sweet, like really sweet." You said, searching for something in the cabinets. "Have some sugar." You looked at her with fire on your eyes, and she felt a cold sweat run down her back. "What about some chocolate cake, ice cream, or some food deep-rooted with sugar? I'll buy it, doll."
She can't keep up with your energy, always accepting whatever you want and following behind you everywhere with a scowl, but making sure you're good, safe, and happy. She doesn't understand how you have so much energy left after doing a lot of things during the day to her about your day and plans, just to fall asleep suddenly.
She also handled you crying over everything and making traps for her, like asking her if she'd love you if you were a worm, or her worst nightmare: "Would you love me if I was from topside?" and her long silence was answer enough for you to start weeping. "Doll, it's just a dumb thought. Of course I'd love you and gonna be with you forever. I promise!"
She prefers to handle you when you are calmer, too sore to handle the world on your back, and stays in bed, being doted by her. She always cuddles you, her human hand on your belly to warm it up, whispering sweet nothings or watching a movie with you, both wrapped in the blankets. "I love you too, doll."
Maybe the best thing about your period is the much horniness you have during it. Your wild side is always showing up at this time of the month; always teasing her with dirty whispers, handsy. She loves fucking you, making love to you, making you cum and all. But, damn, you've come three times already, and you're looking at her with those eyes again, and she isn't young anymore, she needs to catch her breath. "Please, Vika. Just one more. You can use your fingers on me this time. Pleaseee."
She loves it when you are horny and take the lead, playing with yourself, teasing her until she does something about it and makes slow, tender, sweaty love to you. "Fuck, doll. Your pussy is so wet and creamy for me, gotta fuck it properly, huh. Do you want this? Want my cock deep inside your pussy? Good girl, doll..."
Your crazy ideas always caught her by surprise. She is sure that these ideas are made up before your period, and you only come with them to blame on the "period hehehe"
"You know what? I really want-" "Please, a normal thing for once." "You to impregnate me." A silence in the room. "Impossible, doll." "What do you mean it's important? DON'T YOU LOVE ME ANYMORE?!?" "It's biological Impossible to get you pregnant with my babies." "Well. We gotta keep trying, vika!"
Your low self-esteem is the biggest problem, like how she's gonna put inside your head that you are the most beautiful person in Zaun? The prettiest woman she's ever laid eyes on! "Your body is completely fine! Your skin is normal! You're not fat, square, or I don't know! Your clothes are completely fitting, you're fucking beautiful and perfect. The only woman for me, doll!"
At the end of your period, she would be exhausted, needing vacations away from Zaun, but glad to have you surviving another period without trying to kill her and every other Zaun citizen. She would be so glad to have her girl back, not that you're much different but still.
@iwashie 2025, please do not translate, modify or republish my works
#iwashie work#iwashie writes#sevika x you#sevika x y/n#sevika x reader#sevika arcane#sevika headcanon#arcane x reader#iwashie headcanons
170 notes
¡
View notes
Text
THINGS UNSAID
summary đš others notice what you and daryl feel for eachother but it takes longer for the connection to reach the two of you.
word count đš 4.8k
warnings đš large age gap, side character POVs at the start, smut lol
thanks to @irisdixon1023 for the fun idea! hope i did it justice even if i changed somethings
There were plenty of events that you had found yourself in the background of throughout the apocalypse.Â
Youâd had to put things together at the drop of an eye because there were some questions you just didnât ask. You didnât need to be told the new man approaching camp was Carlâs father, evident enough by the way his mouth dropped open and Loriâs eyes flashed with hot fear and betrayal.
That unfolded in your mind exactly the same way as when you saw Shane come back from the woods with a busted nose and a manic look so intense it almost took your breath away, something cold and knowing settling in your gut but not quite strong enough for you to accuse him of planning anything.Â
You never put much thought into how you might come across to somebody just observing new people youâve met on the road that might be making their own judgements on you. The end of the world had brought one relief and that was from the constant thought about your own presentation and what a stranger might think of you.Â
These already drawn conclusions were exactly the reason you were so confused with yourself for being so absorbed with why the red headed man kept glancing in your direction.
Truthly Abraham had never been somebody who bothered sugarcoating his words and pretending to be something he was not and that included being the type of person who was extremely curious about a certain dynamic he had seen unfolding in front of him.
He had only spent a few hours with you in the train car but he had managed to make a damn near solid case if he did say so himself and he was juggling with how much it was being challenged as soon as a few more bodies were thrown into the mix.
Both of you had looked worse for wear when his team found you alongside the gravely road, Glenn barely standing upright as they approached and then fully face planting the asphalt while you stared at him with a look that seemed to be a mixture of exhaustion and determination.
You kept your sentences short and sweet while Glenn was unconscious and you climbed into the back of the large truck but Abraham had a hard time being upset about your lack of manners considering youâd clearly been through hell's asshole before they had arrived.Â
His plans continued to be derailed and you proved to be a serious pain in the behind but he had felt strongly enough about his people reading to assume that you were one of two things, either just a bit slow emotionally or completely in love with the man you were traveling with.
Of course he felt only a bit disgruntled when said man actually woke up and spoke only of a loving wife that he clearly would stop at nothing to find in a very large haystack but then that could explain the heartbroken look you wouldnât stop carrying around.
It made full sense to him that you were in love with a taken man and so desperately that you were willing to risk your life to help him be happy with somebody else so he was now fully offended when he offered this idea to Glenn one night after youâd fallen asleep, just for him to laugh in his face.
Then you had been thrown into the traincar and you suddenly took on a heavy expression of grief, like you had only just now accepted you were not going to find whatever it was that you were looking for. He had figured beforehand that you had lost someone permanently but apparently you had a mission of your own.Â
When the doors were opening again, this time he was happy to be an observer.
The two men entering the car looked equally as deadly as you had standing on that road side and ready to go to war for your friend's limp body and he almost pieced together they were a part of your larger group before any of you actually had turned to notice them.
Everybody tensed at the same time and then it felt like the air in the train car suddenly got much lighter.Â
Youâd barely looked at the bearded man that seemed to automatically capture everybody's attention first, almost like they were waiting for him to give them a command before they even processed he was standing in front of them again.
Your eyes were stuck on someone else entirely and he was happy to finally have some entertainment after being sat next to a mumbling Eugene for far too many hours.Â
He didnât need a lick of guessing to know what type of man the second was and he almost wanted to have his guard farther up if it wasnât for the young boy beside him, peering around with big scared eyes. (Plus the fact he had come to respect you and the sight of you staring like the rugged man had hung the stars was good enough reason to relax).
The bearded man seemed to finally notice you standing there and he gave you an overwhelmingly fatherlike look, seeming like he wanted to pull you into a hug but deciding against it for reasons Abraham couldnât quite figure out just yet.
His counterpart didnât have the same problem and you let out a sob when he finally looked over to you, his entire tense frame melting like a little kid as he stumbled his way through the dark train car so he could fall against you.
You cradled his head like it was the single most important thing in the world and your friends around you seemed like they were suddenly walking on eggshells to avoid disturbing you and making you pull out of the emotional moment.Â
First assumption was that you were related in some way but that quickly faded when he noticed the way the man had his hands low on your back, squeezing and pulling you closer and closer like he could feel you slipping through his fingers.
There was nothing overtly romantic about it and certainly not sexual, not with the way you sobbed harder seeing his bruised face and sullen expression, but it definitely was too close for comfort if you were father and daughter adjacent.
Second assumption was gone as fast as it came, absolutely not lovers judging by the way you were quick to stumble out of his grasp as soon as you noticed Maggie and Glenn watching curiously, his hands lingering but eventually having to fall back to his side once you were out of reaching distance.
You made haste to hug the young boy and distract yourself from the blatant showcase of something that most likely was a secret, both to each other and the others but possibly to yourselves.
The man didnât take his eyes off of you the entire time you all sat there devising a plan and you sobbed like a woman scorned when they were throwing flash bangs inside the car before dragging him away, having to send a swift kick to your ribs to get you to let go of his arm.Â
Abraham observed a scary switch in you now that he was gone again and the small almost fragile girl from before was once again replaced with the silent and constantly armed one, all emotions stripped down to your bare bones until you were left with instinct alone.Â
He kept watching your group during the days that followed the fall of Terminus, building up his strongly held opinions on each of them individually and then again in pairs and larger clumps. He couldnât help the fact that you and Daryl struck his interest, boredom taking over for the most part although Rostia had told him he needed to get a better hobby.
It was impossible not to wonder now that he knew more about the two of you, although heâd yet to speak to your male counterpart. There was a large part of him that figured it wouldnât end too pleasantly and he was halfway busy with sucking up to you all so youâd accompany him to the end of the line for Eugene and the cure.
So he didnât pick a fight with the archer although he wasnât sure you would have allowed it anyways.
You were small in size but he had managed to get a few glimpses of what you could do with rage and a blunt wooden stick alone back at Terminus so he wasnât particularly interested in seeing how you fared with a knife.
You were constantly next to Daryl and it was almost a foreign sight to see one of you without the other, a strange feeling settling over anyone whenever youâd wander in alone or the rare times he went hunting without you.
There was a glint in your eye whenever somebody talked to you, like you were ready to pounce on your own family members if you needed to just to keep the man next to you safe at all cost. He was halfway to asking Maggie if you had been like that before you were separated or if it was a new adjustment but he decided against it when he saw her fondly holding Rickâs baby.
He was finding it a bit ridiculous that there were so many moving parts in your poorly oiled machine yet it was running smoothly and, not only that, but you actually seemed to love and care about each other beyond means of survival.
Abraham decided it wasnât any of his business anymore as soon as he ruled you and Daryl off the list of potential people who would come along on his mission, pushing you to the back of his mind to will off any distractions.
_____
Maggie had always known there was something lingering deep in you for the older man but she was quickly realizing she didnât know the half of it apparently because the way you gripped onto him for dear life was extremely telling.
She was already surprised enough that you had practically leapt into his arms but what really struck her was how willing he was to fold over into you and meet your sobs with cries of his own.
She knew Daryl was more than what he looked like, more than what he even said most of the time but that still didnât mean he was ever this open and vulnerable around any of them before. Even Rick sent her a thrown off look that she fought hard in the few seconds it lasted to try and understand.
Your mood had been sour for the time it took you all to find Terminus after reuniting her and Glenn but there were a thousand things she wouldâve guessed as the cause of it before assuming you were mourning Daryl Dixon.
Maybe she had been blinded by her own worries and the blossoming of her love so she didnât pay attention to the signs or maybe they were just new but they were impossible to ignore now although every one seemed to be trying their very best.
Did he always hand you your portion of food first, followed by sneaking bites of his own onto your plate when you both pretended you werenât watching him do it?
Had it always been almost instinct that you would fall asleep next to each other, never touching but close enough to touch if you ever just reached out? She was thinking now that she wasnât sure you slept the entire time you spent on the tracks, always awake on a watch shift when she drifted off and staring into the dying fire by the time she opened her eyes again.
Yet you seemed to have no problem drifting off with your head on Darylâs shoulder.
When did Daryl stop flinching under your touch and since when were you so touchy anyways? Your hands were almost constantly rubbing up and down his arm or holding onto his wrist like you were stopping him from leaving except he didnât seem to ever be going anywhere, not from you at least.
She wondered if you always looked so calm and gentle when peering up at him or if that was also a new development. She couldnât read his gaze back down on you and she wasnât really sure she wanted to, feeling guilty about her silent spying.
Glenn told her that it wasnât a big deal and everybody people watched but he also denied seeing anything between the two of you so either he was lying to make her feel better or he simply wasnât watching hard enough.Â
There wasnât anything wrong with the age difference in her mind but she still occasionally caught Rick sending the two of you glances and she almost hoped it was just his fatherly urge to protect you like he always had.
_____
You could tell something had changed between you and Daryl but you werenât too focused on defining whatever it was.Â
He had always been the number one person you paid attention to and you couldnât stop thinking about him your entire stay at the prison but the pain of losing him and thinking it was for forever was clearly the push you needed to never let him forget this again, even though you hadnât told him directly.
There was no way he didnât know how you felt when you stared into his eyes and kept your hand on his chest, whispering lowly how happy you were for him to be back with you. He would have to truly be the dimmest person in the world to think your reaction to seeing him again was just a fluke or you not thinking straight.Â
Daryl must be aware of how you feel because you donât think he would risk treating you the way he did if he didnât.
He was sweet to you and doted on you like you were already lovers and his favoritism was apparent to anybody who paid attention for more than a few minutes. He remained as gruff and abrasive as always but he let you brush the hair from his face and his tone sounded far sweeter aimed towards you.
You knew he had feelings for you and you also knew he wouldnât let you in on that secret unless he suspected you felt similarly.
âCouldnât even breathe.â You had found yourself outside the stuffy church together again, somewhere just off in the treeline and leaning against a thick tree stump.
His back was pressed into the bark but your own was against his chest, sat on the drying leaves between his spread legs and laying back on him, his hands resting skillfully next to your thighs so he wasnât touching you too directly.
âHm?â His hum was low and sweet and you noted that he sounded like he was drifting off toÂ
sleep, a light smile on your face at his abandoned defensive walls even though the topic of conversation was rather heavy.
âI pictured them all going one way or another but not you, never ever you.â You picked one of his hands off the ground so you could hold it in your own, resting in the air above your stomach as you smoothed over his rough calloused skin and traced shapes on his palm.
He said nothing when you sighed and relaxed your limbs again, this time with his hand landing on your stomach and being enclosed by yours so he couldnât remove it so easily. You could feel his heartbeat pick up on your back and your mouth turned up with fondness.Â
You didnât need him to remind you for the hundredth time that he hadnât gone anywhere and he was still right here with you but it was still nice to hear him grumble it in his low voice, almost a shy whisper that you had to preen to hear.
Daryl may have needed to actually feel the effect of your death before he started to slowly showcase his affectionate side but you thought it was well worth the wait, feeling beyond grateful that he hadnât pulled away from your clinginess yet.
You figured it would just be a few days of needing him close to process that he wasnât gone after first losing him in the smoke of the prison and then watching him get ripped away in a similar fog as soon as you had him back finally but days turned into weeks and you were still trying to find a way to silence the ache.
His heart was only picking up in speed when you were using your hand to move his slowly, so slow you could barely tell it was going anywhere at all. You pushed it until his pinky finger was under the button of your small jean shorts and you paused when you heard his breath stutter.
Part of you wanted to turn back and check his expression, make sure this was something that he wanted but you couldnât gather the courage. Instead you sat there with your hands like that and you felt a jolt of electricity when he was moving his hand on his own.
You didnât let it get far, barely brushing the hem of your underwear before you were swiftly sitting up in a way that clearly startled him.
He didnât have long to overthink and wonder if he had misread the situation because now you were on your knees in between his spread legs, as close as you could get and swaying forward like you were going to lay on his chest again.
The reality was much different than he expected and lifetimes better, your lips slotting against his and automatically drawing a high pitched sound from you. There had been countless times Daryl wondered what you sounded like and the knowledge was seering itself into his brain now, longing to bring more out of you.
Your hands were on his face and you were scrambling forward so you could be sat in his lap, legs on either side of his waist as you desperately leaned into the kiss. He was easily matching your pace and you felt an overwhelming heat when you heard him groan into your mouth.
âDaryl.â The sound of his name in that tone was enough to make anybody insane and his hands on your body proved it, one hand on your lower back but the other directly touching those godforsaken jean shorts you wore.
They were poor excuses for fabric and there had been a dozen times when you'd bent over in front of him long enough for him to catch a glimpse of your panties underneath, long enough for him to run a hand over his face and disappear into the guard tower for a few hours.
Now there was no reason to pretend he wasnât looking at you, wasnât running his rough hands over your perfectly smooth and innocent body. That seemed to be the only innocent thing about you considering your hips were starting to rock in his lap, just slow enough to make his head spin dangerously.
His big hands were both cupping your ass now and helping you move against him, loving the way you could barely kiss him as you struggled to hold your whines in.
âFeels so good.â You sounded absolutely pathetic and wrecked and he knew right then and there that he was truly perverted, grunting into your open mouth and thrusting his hips up to make you really feel him against your sensitive core. One of your hands had been running through his hair and you tugged at the feeling, crying out in surprise.Â
âCmon sweetheart.â His voice was so low and raspy, vibrations going straight to your core and making you rock harder against him.Â
Your lips were swollen and wet when you moved them from his mouth down to his jaw, sucking and biting the skin wherever you could and making sure he was grunting straight into your ear so you could commit the sounds to memory.
He barely flinched when you sat up to pull your tank top off, a bit too hasty considering it was getting stuck on your arms for a second and he had to help you, eyes hazy when your head finally emerged and he could really look at you,
You felt touched that he watched your eyes for a few heavy breaths before he even bothered to let his gaze move down to your bare chest, rising and falling with your nipples standing at attention off his stare alone. His hands weren't wasting any time before gently cupping your soft mounds and your mouth parted in another high whine at the feeling.
Hips moving slower but still just as addicting, you were letting him worship your tits and really take his time memorizing the way your body looked on top of his like this.
Daryl had pictured you in a hundred scenarios that brought shame to his core and sometimes the disgust was enough to bury it back down but more often than not, he couldnât stop thinking about how much he wanted this no matter how wrong it may be.
âNo idea how much I thought about these hands.â Your voice was the highest pitch heâd ever heard and you were softly stuttering through your words like youâd forgotten where to place them, hand back in his hair and trying to be sly with the way you were moving his head downwards. âThis mouth.. f-fuck.â
He may not be the most experienced, certainly not with girls as young and pretty as you but Daryl wasnât as idiot. It was almost second nature to wrap his mouth around your nipple once he understood thatâs what you were silently asking for, his entire arm wrapping around your back to keep you locked in place.
His muscles flexed when you made an extra loud sound and you suddenly remembered just how strong he really was, capable of really doing some damage to you right now if he decided thatâs what he wanted. The thought sent heat further through you and you gasped out his name in repeated cries.
You were fully humping against him now and trying to get as much pressure on your core as you could but he was firm in his hold on your middle, practically making out with your tits in a way that was so lewd and filthy you felt lightheaded.Â
âI need more.â You were desperate now and on the verge of a sob, yanking on his hair impatiently and immediately diving into a nasty kiss the second he lifted his head to glare at you. Your tongue was so deep in his mouth he was able to fully suck on it, low sounds leaving him constantly now.Â
You hadnât even realized you were falling until you hit the ground with his heavy frame falling over you, spreading your legs so he could slot himself between them easily.
âF-fuck youâre so hard.â You knew you sounded beyond fucked out already just from some dirty kissing but you couldnât find it in yourself to be embarrassed. Although you clearly didnât need to considering you werenât at all exaggerating and Daryl was fully hard and moving his core against yours like he couldnât stop himself.Â
âPretty little thing.â His lack of vocalization didnât bother you, not expecting it from him in the first place but you were almost grateful for his silence because it made every word he did say sound so much sweeter.Â
Daryl had never complimented you so directly before and it sounded ridiculous to flush over him calling you pretty while you were laying in the leaves, bare chest out and his hard on rubbing against you but it still made your body warm in a much purer heat than the rest of your body.
He did everything in his life with an aged roughness you had realized a long time ago, hands weapons even when he didnât mean for them to be and even when it ate him up inside afterwards so you felt particularly touched that he had a gentle grasp on your ribs and hip like he was terrified of hurting you.Â
Although the thought of him hurting you did light something deep inside of you on fire but you decided to push that away and deal with it another time, slowing down your kisses once he started to fidget with the button and zipper on your shorts.
It was quick to go from dirty to romantic and you were grateful for the change even though you enjoyed the former just as much, the longing in your heart for a real sign that he felt similarly being slightly fulfilled when he was moving a hand to cup your cheek and really pay attention to the softer kiss.Â
You could tell he found amusement in his own patience bringing forth the opposite in you, a whiny annoyed noise leaving you as you started to tug at his belt impatiently and try to get him to resume what he was doing before you distracted him.
âTake it easy girl.â He was so close and the whispered words, light and affectionate enough that you almost forgot how lewd you were currently, made your eyes widened as you stared up at him hovering over you.Â
He made eye contact with you for only a brief second before he was looking away and you could see a heavy shyness in him that was directly opposite to the way he was pulling your shorts down your thighs and touching you before youâd even felt the wet air on your core.
Your breath caught in your throat and you wrapped your hands around his back, resting on his shoulder blades and you knew his vest would have the shape of your fingernails indented in the leather for a long time to come.
The low humming noise he was making against your neck seemed to be approval towards your neverending wetness and you were letting out a breathy laugh of pure hazy disbelief when you felt the head of his hard cock pressing against you.Â
You could hear him softly shushing you in a soothing manner, trying to get you to relax enough that he could actually push inside without seriously hurting you. You wondered if he could tell you had never done this before, suddenly self conscious that your inexperience was radiating off of you.
Unknown to you, he was thinking the same thing about himself and hoping you couldnât feel the way his entire body was tensing to stop from pushing in before you were ready out of pure desperation that only you could bring out of him. It was hard not to act like a horny teenager when you were panting like you were getting fucked hard just from him touching your tits.
The combination was deadly and the sound he made when he started to actually fuck you was even worse, damn near ending your life then and there just to be immediately brought back when you felt the hot pain between your legs.
Now your pants were telling a different story and he did his best to slow down and let you get used to the sheer size of him stretching you out, not realizing the way your pupils were dilating and you were purposefully tightening your legs around his waist.
âM-more.â You were begging now as the pain started to go down and he gave you a look that told you he thought you were crazy, eyebrows furrowed as he started to shake his head in disagreement. âPlease Daryl love it so much, hurts so good.â
That seemed to silence both the man above you and the entire forest, his body stiffening for a few seconds too long and your heart started to race with something not as nice as the flirty nervousness you normally felt around him.
You almost opened your mouth to apologize to him for making him uncomfortable, try to explain yourself and why you liked something like that without actually knowing the reason yourself. Instead your lips parted with another high whine when he started to move, clearly getting over whatever had made him pause and making it his personal mission to give you exactly what you wanted.
Daryl would never leave your sight again and you would stop at nothing to make sure of that so you had plenty of time for gentle, endless days to fill with romance and soft kisses that made your cheeks red. Today, however, was going to be reserved for something else entirely and you couldâve truly died happy there on the leaves with him on top of you.Â
#daryl dixon#daryl dixon fanfiction#daryl dixon smut#the walking dead#twd#twd fanfiction#norman reedus#daryl dixon drabbles#daryl dixon fluff#rick grimes
164 notes
¡
View notes
Text
mechanic sevika
ty for requesting @sunflowerwinds ILY
a/n: i only know basics about cars so here's something that actually happened to my shit ass car LMAO
INSPIRED BY THIS
while you were pulling out of the parking lot from your weekly errands, you heard some sputtering from your car
it freaked you out a little bit, but then it went away so you ignored it for now
then the battery icon popped up
pulling into an auto parts shop, you had the cashier check your battery only to see coolant splashed all over the place
he said that your battery was fine, but your serpentine belt had snapped
whatever that meant
you felt nauseous, worried about how much this was going to cost
not to mention that most mechanics were shutting down for the night
the guy offered to take you home in his car in a flirty way, which was disgusting since he was well into his 60s, MAYBE 70s and ugly as fuck
as you backed away from him and gripped your car door handle, she appeared
like your knight in a shining jumpsuit
"we already chatted earlier, she's coming over to my shop to get her car fixed, she doesn't need a ride," she said firmly, wrapping an arm around your shoulders as she walked up from behind you
she had heard everything in the store and the story you rambled out, figuring out the problem pretty quickly
she also knew the owner was a bit of a creep
the owner quickly nodded and scurried back inside with his equipment
you deflated with a sigh of relief, but still needed your goddamn car fixed
"thanks, i definitely didn't want to get in a car with him..."
"no problem sweetheart, and i was serious about taking your car in. i got my truck right here and my shop is just up the street." she offered and respectfully took her arm off your shoulders, the two fo you now facing each other
your eyes widened as you shook your head and started stuttering, "oh i couldn't its probably past your working hours and i don't want to be an inconvenience-"
she chuckled and held up a hand to stop your rambles, "it's fine doll. i was planning on working late anyways and your belt's an easy fix, youâll be in and out in half an hour."
you thought it over in your head and accepted her offer, grabbing your essentials out of your car before she hooked yours up to her bright red truck
she opened the passenger door for you and offered her hand, which you happily took as you climbed up the tall truck
she had a pair of fuzzy dice hanging over the central mirror and the truck had a smell of stale cigarettes and weed despite the (probably old) air freshener hanging in the middle of the dice
the seat covers were leopard printed and faded, but added to the overall charm of the car
the two of you sat in a semi-awkward silence as the radio played old divorce dad rock
as sevika backed up your car into the garage with her arm reaching around the back of your seat, you had to ignore the blush that was creeping up you cheeks
you hopped out of her truck as she unhooked your car, parking hers out into the parking lot
pacing in the lobby and glancing at the window to the garage to see her working on your car, wiping her forehead with the back of her hand
if you werenât so stressed about your car you wouldâve taken time to appreciate how hot she looked more
sevika walked into the lobby with a reassuring smile once she was done and wiped her hands off with a grimy towel, âshould be good as new sweetheart.â
she grabbed a post-it note off of her desk and scribbed her number down onto it, holding it out to you across the counter after you paid for the part, âcall me if you have any other problems with your car.â
âcould i call you just because i want to,â you blurted out before you could even process what you were saying, a deep flush covering your cheeks
sevika raised her eyebrows and smirked, rubbing her chin with a crooked finger, â âcourse doll, iâd love that.â
you aimlessly nodded and smiled, bumping into the doorframe on your way out to your newly fixed car
driving home, you couldnât help but hope that you broke down on the side of the road
a/n: WHO WANTS A FUCKED ON HER TRUCK AFTER HOURS FICâźď¸âźď¸âźď¸
taglist: @maneskinwh0re @archangeldyke-all @fandoms-will-be-the-death-of-me @sevikasfan @lez-zuha @comfortripley @sunflowerwinds
#sevika#sevika arcane#arcane sevika#sevika x reader#sevika headcanon#sevika fluff#mechanic sevika#sevika headcanons#sevika x female reader#strawberrykidneystone#strawberrykidneystone writes
156 notes
¡
View notes
Text
Kallus' motivations are so interesting
I just need to get these thoughts out so Iâm throwing this ramble here:
Now, this may totally just be me thinking too much (fork found in kitchen) but I feel like when it comes to how we tend to think about Kallusâ characterization, the implications of Kallusâ experience on Onderon are very overlooked.Â
So he goes to Onderon with âthe boysâ-- which, the term âthe boysâ has its own set of implications about how Kallus must have really cared for those troopers under his command but I digressâ and on a patrol theyâre attacked, yada yada, we all know the story.Â
But Kallus becomes fully paralyzed. He doesnât describe the extent of his paralyzation but given that he had to watch as his squad was âfinished off one by oneâ itâs pretty fair to assume that he could not move whatsoever. The fear that any person would experience in that situation is completely indescribable, that is genuinely some shit straight out of a night terror.Â
He isâ as we knowâ spared (albeit we donât get exact details (did the merc try to kill him but reinforcements arrived before he could? Did the merc think that Kallus was already dead? Secret 3rd option?)) and he makes a full physical recovery, but there is no way in hell that he is not coming out of that encounter with some crazy PTSD.Â
Thereâs not a whole lot of info on Imperial mental health services but I donât think itâs a longshot to assume that they are probably close to nonexistent.
So the empire now has⌠an ISB agent with field experience⌠with untreated PTSD⌠where said PTSDs inciting incident pertained to a Lasat⌠and theyâre looking to make an example out of LasanâŚâŚâŚ.. Are you picking up what I'm putting down hereâŚ...?
If you arenât; it is BY NO MEANS a wild assumption to say that the Empireâ essentiallyâ weaponized Kallusâ PTSD, given that he would be less likely to question the moral atrocities happening on Lasan since he was already biased against Lasat as a whole.Â
Now, we donât really have a solid grasp on what Kallusâ exact role in Lasan was since heâs kiiiiinnnd of an unreliable narratorâ I mean weâre given the line in Droids in Distress where he takes credit for giving orders during the siege, but Kallus routinely just runs his mf mouth whenever heâs throwing hands so itâs likeâŚÂ that could either be the truth or a crazy exaggeration, we as viewers have literally no idea whatâs going on thereâ but it goes without saying that Kallus is obviously not excused from his participation just because of (likely) untreated mental illness, but that is literally like the whole point of his character so like we all knew that
Now, after Lasan, Kallus does something really bizarre for an imperial to do; he accepts the borifle given to him through the Boosan Keerah, and even though he doesnât know about the cultural significance of that, he still takes it upon himself to learn how to use this weapon. I think that literally any other imperial would have tossed that shit out on sight, so I think it does kind of imply that Kallus did have a good deal of respect for Lasat culture.
Now we can all recall how Kallus is so annoying and also batshit insane whenever he fights Zeb for the first season and a half of rebels, and ME THINKS that this is because he wants to prove to himself that if he were not paralyzed on Onderon, he could have saved the members of his squad. He had to sit by and watch them die, and I think that he just wants the vindication; now you may be thinking, But Emma, he beat the Lasat who gave him his borifle, why would he still be obsessing over thisâ say it with me nowâ he is mentally ill. No victory will ever be enough to prove this to himself. Point blank period.Â
(edit:) He is for sure operating from a place of extreme predjudice and bias but I think it's worth noting that heâs not operating under the usual xenophobic imperial mindset that other species are automaticaly lesser than. (end edit) This weird obsession that he has in seasons 1 and 2 deels like it's mostly there because he wants to outwit and outfight Zeb (and the rest of the Ghost crew⌠but especially Zeb) (edit: Though it is 100% influenced by Xenophobia-- his mental illness and xenopobia DO coexist!!)
And after the Honorable Ones???? Itâs literally never brought up again. He chills tf out so hard after that it is high key uncanny. And like, yes duh that is becauseâ for writing purposesâ thatâs the beginning of his redemption and they want viewers to root for him as fulcrum, but it also implies that after finding common ground with Zeb, and understanding where heâs coming from and who Zeb is as a person, he realizes that heâs been CRASHING TF OUT for basically no reason.Â
And he is SO QUICK to switch sides?? Like, he is fulcrum at least a decent time before the beginning of season three. The whole point is that the second he asks questions and delves deeper into what the Empires motivations are he is disgusted enough that he doesnât just drop everything and disappear, no, he became a spy for the rebels because he wants to help. I feel like that just goes to show that, at his core, Kallus is a good person. A deeply confused, and hurt, and misguided person, but a good one.Â
I dunno, this is just a really long winded way of saying that Kallus is the perfect example of an imperial pawn. Like the Empire is an incredibly effecient indoctrination machine that exploits people at every turn, especially their own soldiers, and I think that Kallusâ relationship with that indoctrination along with his own motivations is just super super interesting and I think about it literally all the time
#This was way longer than I thought it would be#I have a whole lot more to say about his character post defection but we don't have room for that here#cameoliob speaks#star wars#star wars rebels#rebels#swr#agent kallus#Kallus#alexsandr kallus#Garazeb Orrelios#Kalluzeb
146 notes
¡
View notes
Text
Winston
Summary | A stray that wonders the trailer park, that youâve claimed as yours, as gone missing
Contains | Fem!Reader, Friends-to-Lovers (eventually), Cursing, Cute kitty, Mentions of Dealer Eddie, Psycho kids attempt to hurt the kitty :(
Pairing | BestFriend!Eddie x BestFriend!Reader
Word count | 2.1k
An | Another cat story cause I love them and Iâm cat sitting rn!!! Also sorry this is kinda bad
The boys had decided that their favorite hang out place was Eddieâs trailer. Much to your dismay, cause sometimes they apparently wanted boy time and you had to sit in your own trailer like it didnât affect you.
It had taken you awhile to find a friend outside of Eddie, excluding the rest of the boys, but as of this year Nancy and her friend Barb had become some nice acquaintances of yours. Nice enough youâve even recently been invited to a slumber party with the two at Nancyâs house.
But that didnât mean you didnât still want to hang out with the boys when they came around, but you let them have their time. And from the sound of it, it has something to do with the band they had recently established. You could hear eddieâs guitar from out on your porch where you sat next to a can of cat food you had bought for the special cat you had come quite close with.
Eddie had informed you he was a stray that had been abandoned by one of the previous owners of one of the trailers. You teared up at the thought of someone leaving him behind, which Eddie had teased you about being so sensitive when it came to animals.
That earned him a glare and quick snap from you, âsince when isnât it sad to be abandoned?â He shut up after that.
You had begged your mother to let you keep him, promising to take care of him, and that youâd pay for all the things he needed with your own money. But she didnât hesitate to say no, and after begging for a full week after coming across the cat youâd accept your fate, and settled for making a small bedding area around the side of your trailer and feeding him as often as you could.
You had informed Eddie that heâd now be called Winston.
Which is what you were currently trying to do, even with a small pout on your face as you stared at Eddieâs trailer across from yours.
Youâre a bit preoccupied by boredom to realize that it has taken Winston quite a bit longer to arrive at his food than he normally did. You had a system that you both seemed to know pretty well, once you came home youâd come back outside with something to eat for the sweet old guy, he seemed to surprisingly be pretty aware of the time frame too.
But as the time went on you began very aware of the lack of cuddly creature you came to love so much.
You stand from your spot on the porch, âWinston?â You called you looking around in front of you. He didnât come though. You hop down and venture to the padded box that was tucked a bit under your trailer but it was empty, you furrowed your brows slightly.
You felt silly for already being worried but you couldnât help it, he wasn't some young, nimble cat that enjoyed running around and playing. He liked sleeping, scratches, and food. He never passed up on food.
You wandered towards Eddie trailer, sneakily, the last thing you needed was then think you were spying. You peaked under his trailer, whisper yelling his name out and not hearing or seeing a thing.
You popped back up and rushed quickly back over to your trailer, feeling more and more panicked when you couldnât find him, you rushed into your trailer grabbing a flashlight, ready to search under every other trailer to find him. But knowing he couldnât have gone too far, you were worried he may have gotten hurt somewhere.
After searching under and around the nearest trailers and having no sign of Winston, you got teary eyed when you saw it was getting darker.
You decided you didnât care for Eddieâs boy time, you really needed his help. You ran up the steps to his trailer, knocking a bit frantically as a tear fell down your check and you anxiously chewed at your lip as you waited for him to answer.
And soon enough he does, âHey, whatâs up?â He asks with a smirk, but it quickly drops as he sees the sadness on your face, âY/n? Whatâs wrong?â
âI canât find Winston⌠I had his food out ready to feed him and he didnât show up so I went and looked around for him and I still canât find, and Iâm scared he mightâve gotten hurt and-â
âHey, Hey, calm down. Weâll find him, wait out here Iâm gonna got get the guys, okay?â
You nod and heâs quickly rushing inside. âHey, so change of plans⌠We got a missing cat so, weâre gonna have to go look for him, Kay?â He says as he as he rummages through a drawer in his kitchen, grabbing a flashing, ready to look under trailers for a second time just to ensure you have your cat back by the end of the night.
He remembers when you met Winston, He was a skittish cat not appreciating the presence of just about anyone until he met you. Eddie slightly felt like he related to the cat in that way, but Winston had warmed up to him after he discovered he was a friend of yours. He smiled when you had revealed the name you had picked for the old guy, it was fitting.
And when Eddie found out that your mother had told you âThereâs no way Iâm taking in a gross old stray. Itâs not gonna end well, Y/n.â He wanted to offer to take the cat in at his trailer, telling you that the cat could be both of yours and you could come over as often as you wanted to see him, but that idea was stomped out by the fact that Wayneâs was allergic.
So he tried to play his part by helping anyways, he occasionally brings home a bag of cat food for you to give to Winston. And one he had gone as far to get some catnip.
You laughed and joked, claiming he was doing a great job solidifying his place as a dealer.
âWhat? Why?â Gareth asked, he had now stopped aimlessly twirling his drumsticks.
âBecause Y/n canât find him on her own so where gonna go help her.â Eddie said matter a factly.
âMaybe the cat just need a break from her.â Heâs smirking, as if this is a laughing matter to you. Jeff tries to nudge the boy with his elbow before he can get the sentence out, but Eddie already has that glare on his face, the one they know all too well, the one he uses when he needs to shut them up real quick. And it works.
Eddie tosses one of the flashlights harshly at the boy, âWeâre gonna get our asses out there and weâre gonna look for that cat until itâs found. Got it?â His tone has all the boys nodding. Eddie makes his way towards the door, grabbing a hoodie on the hanger by the door, and throwing it over his shoulder as they make their way outside.
You stand from your spot on the bottom step, quickly wiping your tears so the other boys donât see, âThanks for this guysâŚâ
âDonât worry about itâŚâ Eddie says as he makes his way down the steps to where youâre now standing, âHereâŚâ He adds, handing you the hoodie he brought out.
âThank youâŚâ You say as you slip the hoodie over your head.
âJeff, Grant.â Eddie nods his head off to the side, âGareth you stay with her, help her look under the trailer again in case he comes backâŚâ Eddie says.
âWhat? Why do-â Gareth freezes yet again as Eddie send another glare his way and Gareth nods his head, âYeah, okay⌠well look over hereâŚâ He points his flashlight in the opposite direction and begins trailing off, youâre quick to follow behind him.
You and Gareth begin checking under the trailers that you had already looked under, it felt useless, which made you feel even worse for interrupting their night.
âHey, uhm⌠Iâm sorry⌠really I didnât want to have to come and ask for help⌠Iâm just really worriedâŚâ Youâre voice was sad, and he felt bad for making you feel worse about it. He turned around the flashlight hitting your eyes as you squinted, and he lowered it quickly.
âNo itâs okay⌠I get it. Iâve you that cat with you, seems like he really loves youâŚâ He says softer than before, he turns back around shining his light in more spots, you come stand next to him.
âYou thinkâŚ?â You duck down where heâs shining the flashlight to check under this trailer.
âYeah, totally⌠I have a cat, you know?â Causing you to pop up from where you were crouched, looking at him with a small smile. He thinks it the first time heâs seen you smile since youâve come over to Eddieâs.
âReally?â
âYeah, her names Coco. Sheâs a little divaâŚâ He says as he look over at you, and now thereâs a genuine smile on your face, âWeâll find him, okay?â
You nod softly, âOkayâŚâ
On the other side of the trailer park Eddie can hear the chatter of what sounds like some younger kids, maybe a couple years younger than his own group.
He has been acquainted with these boys before, they were fucking nuisances in his eyes. Constantly being a pain in the asses of people within the trailer park, but they stayed away from Eddie, which in turn meant they stayed clear of you as well.
As Eddie approached the kids ready to ask whether or not they had seen an older cat, he caught sound of a distressed meowing sound.
He looked over at Jeff and Grant whose eyes widened at the sight and Eddie rushed over to the boys. They were circled around Winston. Eddie approaches fast, âthe fuck are you doing?!â He yells, crushing the boys to jump, startled by the voice that appeared behind them. One of the boys accidentally dropped another one of the fire crackers letting it pop onto the ground.
Winston seemed to recognize the voice and quickly ran away from the boys in the gap of their moment of weakness, ânothing weâre⌠just playingâŚâ one of the boys says, Jeff and Grant could tell that Eddie had an affect on these boys as well, and theyâd hardly ever heard him yell the way he just did.
âPlaying?! In what fucking world is torturing a cat fun? Don't be psychopaths.â Eddie sounded so pissed. Which is valid, those boys were being insane, âI know where you guys live, so itâs probably best you donât fuck with the cat again. Got it?â They nod quickly, walking away, throwing more of their crackers onto the ground as they did.
He looked down to where Winston was standing by his feet, the cat didnât usually get this close to him if you werenât around, but Eddie guesses given the circumstances this was different. Eddie picked the old cat up and began walking back to his trailer, and on the way back he spotted you and Gareth poking your head under The Smiths trailer.
âHey, look.â Gareth says as he taps your shoulder, causing you to pop up and follow where his finger is pointed at Eddie holding Winston.
âYou found him!â You say approaching him quickly, Winston seems to recognize the voice as he squirms in Eddieâs arm and jumps down, running up to you. You kneel down picking the cat, âthank youâŚâ You say, looking at Eddie as tearing up again, âthank you all, honestly⌠I really appreciateâŚâ
âItâs no problemâŚâ Eddie shrugs, trying to play off how happy he feels for helping you.
You turn to Gareth, âAnd thanks for making me feel better⌠sorry to interrupt your⌠band practice?â
âNot really a practice, more so us having to sit around and listen to Eddie play guitarâŚâ Gareth says with a smirk, and he catches Eddie raised brow look.
âYouâre lucky we found the cat and Iâm in a good mood.â Eddie shoves the boy's head as he makes his way back to the trailer, everyone follows behind him and you follow as well, making your way to your own.
âThanks again, guys!â You wave from your porch, Winston still in your arm. They wave and you go inside.
Youâd sneak Winston into your room that night, feeding him treats and scratching his neck until heâs fast asleep.
#eddie munson#stranger things#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson x fem!reader#eddie munson imagine#eddie munson fluff#eddie munson oneshot#eddie munson x y/n#eddie munson blurb#heart-eyed-love
76 notes
¡
View notes
Text
The Doctor's Match
Synopsis: The Administrator has decided to finally give Medic some much needed help on the battlefield, despite the male insisting he doesn't need it. But what happens when the Mad doctor finally meets his match?..
Pairing(s): Medic x 10th Class! Reader focused Pairing Name?: Medical Malpractice (Medic/The Nurse), Length: 3.4k words
A/n: GUYS GUYS I HOPE YOU ENJOY THISSSS, I was inspired by some of my fellow writers who are writing fanfics where they make the reader a specific class!! (Speaking of which I HIGHLY suggest the Respawn Malfunction Fic by the lovely the-teufort-nine)
"Ach, I don't really need help Miss Pauling, vhile I appreciate zhe thoughtâ"
Medic was caught off by Miss Pauling's sheepish grin and hand raise. "I know I know, but think about it. You'll have help with surgeries, everyone wouldn't be screaming your name on the battlefield.. unless you like thatâ"
Medic tapped his glove to his chin. While he didn't necessarily need the help, it would be a great assistance to not have hear everyone screaming "MEDIC" on the battlefield. And to have someone who was on his level, that thought just like him when it came to medicine and other scientific discovering's?
It didn't sound that bad.
But then again, what if this person could be just as annoying as his teammates? What if they didn't help him out as he thought they would? He couldn't risk that!
However, on the flip side...what if they are perfect? They help him on the battles field, they help him with studies that he wanted to conduct. They might even let him experiment on THEM!
He hummed and sighed before dropping his hands to his side.
"Fine, Fine. I vill accept zhis..'help'."
"Good! Cause she'll be here tomorrow!"
Medic didn't have time to process what Miss Pauling had said because she left so quickly, rambling off about finishing finalization before their newest member gets there.
"She?.." Medic trailed off before he left his office to go and join the others in the dining area. Dinner was just being prepared when Scout called out to Medic.
"Ayyeee Doc! You heard about that newbie we getting? Hope he can keep up wit ya!" The rambunctious Boston yelled and Medic only rolled his eyes as he took a seat.
"I can only hope zhat SHE can deal vith the daily stupidity zhat I deal vith each day." Medic corrects Scout and that draws attention from some of the others.
"Oh? So our new help is going to be a Woman?..I pray for her." Spy muttered as he takes a drag from his cigarette. "Wonder what made zhe little lady chose here?"
"Don't kno', but it's best we treat her wit' respect fellas, she could be mighty useful round here when Medic is busy." Engineer chimed in. "Best to have two docs than one."
"Da, Engineer is right. Little lady can make big difference in life or death in battle. We treat her like we treat Doctor." Heavy adds on making Medic nod along.
"Zhere should be nothing to vorry about~, she'll be trained under zhe best!" "That makes me worry even more, I hope she's not a nutcase like you are-" "Vhat vas zhat Scout?" "Nothin'! Nothin' at all docâŚ"
Medic huffed as he fixed his labcoat. "Zhat's vhat I thought." He muttered before he walked back to his lab. When he walked in, he already saw a second door already installed in his medbay, kinda of similar to the one that led to his private quarters. But it had a different medical like logo. âZhey work fast..â he thought as he decided to go into his room.
He needed to prepare for the new guest coming tomorrow
The mercs were all sitting together after another successful day of kicking BLU ass.
Scout, Soldier, Demoman and Pyro were sitting together, Spy and Sniper were playing cards, Engineer was moving around some things in the kitchen and Heavy was with Medic at a separate table.
Soft humming could be heard coming down the Hallway, along with a suitcase being dragged behind light footsteps. The click of heels against the hard floor of the base echoed, they didnât really pay any attention to the sounds assuming it was Miss Pauling bringing something that they needed to go over.
That was until they heard the voice.
"Hello there fellas~!"
The guys all lifted their heads to see a woman, dressed in long nurses dress with a pretty white apron over it. She had a matching logo patch to Medic's with a syringe over the cross, she wore pink gloves that went up to her elbows, her hair was neatly tucked back into a low bun with the nurses hat on. She had a big smile on her face as she walked further into the room drawing all attention to her.
"My name is Y/n, and I will be your new nurse around these parts~! Now could someone please kindly tell me who is your head Medical specialist.?"
Scout rolled his eyes before he allowed a sly smirk to come across his face. "I wouldn't call him a professional tootsâŚbut he's ova there wit the large guy."
The woman, Who they now know is Y/n, thanks Scout with a pretty smile that had the young male blushing already but Spy knocked him in the back of the head.
âOi! What the hell was that for??â âYouâre making googoo eyes at zhe new hire.â âWhat? Sheâs cute! Ow! Seriously man! That hurts! âZhen stop being such an idiot.â
Medic and Heavy were engrossed in a conversation when Y/n walks up next to them and starts to introduce herself.
âHello! I was told that one of you was the doctor here, Iâm going to guess itâs you sir..â She says pointing to medic. Medic looked her up and down and his heart felt like it was doing tricks already.
She wasâŚbeautiful.
She was everything that he had imagined in his head last night. Her beauty, her kindness, and Medic could already tell that a little somethingâŚunhinged lay right beneath the surface.
Heavy had to nudge the male because he was just staring at the beauty in front of him. Medic quickly cleared his throat before giving a grin to her.
âAh yes! Zhat vould be me! I am guessing jou are zhe nurse, yes?â He finally managed to get out, making the woman infront of him giggle as she sits down across from him.
âYes thatâs me! Iâve heard such good this about you! I canât wait to work alongside you in the field!â
Medic nodded as he leaned on his hand as he listened to her ramble on about how much she loved nursing and how her experience on the field was sure to lighten his load and help him the best way that she could.
As she continued to speak, Medic just nodded along and occasionally added to the conversation. He was so focused on her, he was imagining the two of them in battle together, covering in the enemy teams blood. He couldnât wait to do the uber heart surgery on her so he could see and feel her from the inside outâŚ
âMedic.â
Oh how beautiful she would look beside him.
âMedic?â
Oh how beautiful she would look underneath himâ
âMEDICâ
Medic jumped as he shook his head, Heavy shook his head as he looked at his fellow merc. âYou spaced out, Little nurse said she was going to bed.â Heavy states and Medic sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck as he apologized to Y/n.
âOh no no! Youâre fine! I know youâre probably tired after this long day..â âJa..The battle was veryâŚtough.â Medic quickly says, making her giggle. âOh well I'm not going to stop you, please go and get some rest for tomorrow!â
Y/n then backed away from the two males as she bowed and gave them a gentle wave. "Goodnight fellas! Can't wait to be beside you on the battlefield!" She happily exclaimed before she turned on her heel and left the room finally.
Once she left the room, Heavy looked over at Medic. âMedic is infatuated with little nurse.â
Medic looked at his friend and colleague, rapidly shaking his head. âVhat? No! Sheâs justâŚreally..amazing I guess. Itâs rare to see someone as interested in the pursuit of science as I am!â He quickly says as he looked away from Heavy, pulling at his collar.
Heavy only chuckles as he pats Medic on his back. âYou are terrible liar.â
Was all he said before he left Medic at the table alone to think. And of course, his mind went to the beautiful nurse that just graced their presence. He HAD to get to know her better.
He couldnât just let her get away with messing with his head like this!
He will do it tomorrow! He would get to know her after working alongside her for the first time! After all, He had to know why a lovely lady like herself would come and work here and let alone be excited to work with someone like himâŚ
Oh Boy, Did he quickly realize why he was so drawn to her.
She. Was. Crazy.
Once the Nurse set foot on the battlefield, that adorable and charming personality that she displayed to the others at dinner the other day was quickly replaced by a wicked bloodlust.
She was taking down the enemy teams left and right, assisting their teammates with a scary accuracy.
And she was smiling while doing it.
Her main weapon? A large syringe, one that he witnessed her stab and spear the enemy team, harvesting their blood and using it almost as some sort of wicked power source. He could've sworn that hearts formed in his eyes as he looked upon her on the battlefield. She didnât care that she was getting blood on her at all, the way that it splattered across her clothes and she wore it with excited glee.
He was so busy day dreaming that He wasnât paying attention, leaving him open for a backstab from the enemy Spy when he heard her call out to him.
âDOCTOR BEHIND YOU!â Medic didnât have time to turn around before he saw the enemy spy...with a syringe needle through his back.
He stood back watching as his body turned to goop, and was collected by the Nurse, seeing it go into her own medivac.
âAre you alright? I followed the bastard after he tried to backstab, Engineer.â Y/n said to him as she offered her hand, helping Medic from the ground.
She holds his hand for a little bit as she checks over him, making sure that he wasnât injured at all. She places her hand on his chest, making Medic jolt as she did it so suddenly. âAre you alright? Your heart is beating quite fast..â
Medic coughs into his hand before he backs away, nodding at her question. âJa, Iâm okay..Guess my heart rate is up after almost being backstabbedâŚâ
Y/n gave him an eyebrow rise before she accepted his answer.
âAlright..if you say so. Then, Letâs go Doctor. I can hear our teammates screaming for us now.â Y/n turns to leave, expecting Medic to follow.
And follow he did, intrigued as he watched as she pressed a button on her MediVac, watching as she placed her syringe into a slot, and watched as the blood started to bubble and boil, turning into a molten weapon.
Y/n looked over her shoulder at him and gave him a wink before she ran off to go and cater to their injured teammates. Leaving him once again, speechless. He could feel a shiver trail down his spine as a smile broke out across his face.
âMein..Gott..she's perfectâŚâ He mumbled to himself.
He watched as Y/n reached over to Scout, shooting him with a syringe, the Bostonian yelled in pain before feeling a surging feeling. He suddenly cheered and gave Y/n a high five before running back into battle. Healing syringes, he remembered her talking about it briefly the night before.
She was so giddy and excited to have someone to ramble about her work, that Medic stayed nearly all night with her despite knowing that they had to be up the next morning. But that didnât matter, seeing her happy, talking about a subject that most would squirm and ignore was all he needed.
God...was he falling in love with his colleague?! She had only been here for a few days, yet the bubbly and giddy nurse had managed to worm her way into his heart in less than a week.
Never has someone made him so weak in the knees whenever they would look his way.
Mein gott was he embarassingâ
â Medic! I need you!â âComing Mein Nurse!~â
Y/n giggles as she shows off to Medic. Her main weapon, the syringe was used to collect samples, blood samples of the enemy and turn that into boiling liquid, almost like scalding water, giving the enemy team a burning and scalding effect that worked perfectly alongside Pyro.
She had a syringe Gun as well, filled with different syringes of various effects, some that could heal her teammates, some That could burn and melt the enemy skin, it all depended on who she aimed it at, as he saw earlier with her little display on Scout.
âAhh..could you believe i almost lost my medical License because of this technology, I guess they didn't like me testing on murderers..â She mentioned sparking Medic's interest.
âVait, jou made this yourself?â He asked and she nodded proudly. âMhm! Did all the research Myself, I was a bio-chem major before I turned to nursing.â Y/n answered. âTook me a couple months to perfect, nearly burned a hole through my lab floor.
The two of them were walking together and just talking About previous experiments and things that they have done.
âWait, you stole a skeleton?â âSeveral actually, it's how I lost my medical license.â Y/n giggled at that, before reaching for his hand. âYou know, I could use mine, if..you ever needed..help,â
Medic froze a bit, her hand felt small in his as he grasped her hand, the two of them ended up facing each other.
âJou..vould do zhat? For me?â âOf course~, Ya know , it's not everyday when you find someone who's so persistent in the pursuit of science like you.â âOh really now?â âYes really! Itâs the least I could do for making you listen to my rambling about needles for two hours.â
Medic couldn't stop the smile that spread to his lips. âJou know, I could listen to you read zhe most boring book in zhe vorld and I vould never get tired. â
It was Y/nâs turn to blush as she felt his hand come up to caress her blood soaked cheek. âOh Medic..youâre just saying that..â
Medic chuckles and he was about to speak again when a loud yell broke through.
âOi! Doc! Need some Help ova here! Could you stop makinâ googoo eyes wit the nurse!?â
Oh right, they were still in battle.
âVe'll continue zhis later.â âWe shall.â
The two of them readied their gear again as Y/n grasped his hand tightly turning to him with a smirk.
âLetâs go practice Medicine~â She says to him and Medic feels like his body was just lit on fire by pyro as a wolfish grin appears on his face.
When they would reach the enemy team, Y/n would signal to Medic that she was ready and he would nod to her before he would turn on his uber charge. He had only done the surgery on her yesterday, and while he was excited to see how it would work on a new hostâŚ
He hoped that it wouldnât harm her.
Once he activated it Y/n jolted a bit before she started that boiling mass of liquid in her backpack. Medic watched as it was almost like she was spraying hot oil onto the enemy, They moved through the enemy, mowing them down like they were nothing but bugs underneath their feet.
...God did she look like a glowing red goddess...
The entire time Y/n wasâŚlaughing, giggling as she used her weapon on the enemy. Giddy as she saw how their bodies basically melted into nothing but BLU goo. It sent a shiver up his spine when she turned to him and gave him that award winning smile with a wink
He watched as the rest of their team came in to help capture the final point, most of them careful to step over or around the various piles of goo around the point.
The Uber charge wore off and Y/n squealed with glee before she ran up to Medic and grabbed his shoulders. âOh my GOD that was AMAZING!!â She screamed with delight, once again catching Medic off guard.
âAch..it vas nothing, it vas mostââ Medic didnât get to finish his sentence before he felt himself being dipped, and a pair of lips being pressed against his own.
Medic turned a bright red as his glasses fogged up. He felt light headed and when she finally let him up, they were declared the winners as they had successfully claimed the last point. When he regained himself, Y/n was standing infront of him with a big smile on her face as if she didnât just KISS HIM.
âDid jou justââ âYes i did. Would you like me to do it again?â
Medic looked back as he saw his teammates already heading back in, talks of celebrating and what they were going to eat in the air. Medic chuckles as he lifted the nurse into his arms.
âJa, I vouldâŚbut if forgive me if iâm greedy and vant more~â
Now it was Y/nâs turn to blush as Medic carried her back inside to continue their own little form of celebration for winning.
âMan, I don't know if it's a blessinâ or a curse we got that nurse!â
Scout groaned as he knocked back a bonk! Atomic Punch, Engineer, who was playing cards with Demo and Soldier, tilts his head.
âWhat makes ya say that boy? I think it's great the Doc has himself A lovely lady that can keep up with him.â He chuckles as he turned back to the card game, watching as Scout took a seat with them.
âThat's the problem! They are both nuts! I overheard them talking about doing surgery on each othaâ to put their hearts in each otha's body! That's weird!â
âWell, Son, that might just be their form of love-â âThen i pray dat form of love neva finds me!"
Engineer laughs as Demoman pats His back. âAye lad, are ya still mad that the doc almost let you die because he was flirtinâ?
âNo! I'm just sayinâ! They are weird!â âHe's definitely still upset!â âI agree with Engineer!â âCourse ya do Soldier! You prolly don't even know what we're talking about!â
Y/n and Medic were definitely closer after that battle, they were wrapped around each other's fingers. Always around each other.
When they had mission debriefing, she was sitting in his lap.
When it was time for their checkups? They were definitely giving PDA.
Speaking of which, the duo walked past them heading to the door.
Scout groaned in frustration before he looked up seeing Medic walking with Y/n. âAnd where are yall headinâ Out to? Ain't dinner about to start?â
Y/n smiles as she hugs Medic's arm. âLuddy has prepared a picnic for us~! We're going outside to enjoy each other's company, and talk about medical stuff~â
Medic nuzzled her forehead. âJa, mein liebling and i vill be busy for the rest of the night, so please don't have any medical emergencies, jou might not like what you walk into.â
The duo laughs together as Medic leads her outside, opening the door and closing it behind them, leaving their coworkers To go back to what they were doing.
âUgh..disgusting!â âSounds like you're jealous sonny.â âHow!? Jealous of what?â âAffirmative! Sounds like you are jealous that he has a proud American woman!â âIs she even bloody american?â âCourse she is! That woman is a pure blooded American soldier!â
The four men ended up bickering about this, while Heavy who was coming from the kitchen quickly interjected.
âLets just be happy Doctor has met match.â He started. âMeans no more experimenting on us when he has a willing participant. She is perfect for him. Just a crazy as doctor.â
The others went quiet and Scout, the main one who was making a fuss crossed his arms. âI guess tons of fun ovaâ here is right.â
Heavy rolled his eyes at Scout before taking a seat. âDeal me in. Besides. Tomorrow is ceasefire. Doctor is gonna be busy with little nurse.â
âWhat do ya mean by dat?â âI think you know what I mean.â âYou could've jusâ Left us in the dark with that info Son.â âif I had to suffer listening to doctor ramble about it, you do too.â "NONSENSE THEY ARE JUST DISCUSSING BATTLE STRATEGIES" "Yea if strategies included fucki- OW WHERE IN THE HELL DID YOU COME FROM YA SPOOK!?" "I've been here zhe entire time, could you all please just deal zhe cards and not talk about what our doctors are doing."
GAHHH FINALLYYY ITS DONNNEEE
I plan on writing more with them, so be prepared for more Medical Malpracticeâ but until then, please be safe and take care of yourselves!
#tf2 fandom#tf2 fanfiction#tf2 x reader#tf2 fanfic#team fortress 2#tf2#team fortress 2 x reader#team fortress 2 imagines#medic tf2#tf2 medic#medic x reader#medic team fortress 2#tf2 medic x reader
67 notes
¡
View notes
Text
Itâs not a Reunion if you never left
Pairing: Ekko x gn!reader ( lovers, to enemies to lovers)
Tags + Warnings: No specific description of R; R has a gun; R and Ekko were dating in childhood (teenagers); ANGST/COMFORT -> SUGGESTIVE AT THE END
A/n: So what I realised is that you guys donât like angst as much as I do, so Iâll give you the âfluffâ you deserve *wink wink* PLUS WHATS IMPORTANT FOR THE PLOT, EKKO AND R ARE A BIT OLDER IN THE STORY (22-23 YEARS OLD). CHILDHOOD MEMORIES -> (14-15 YEARS OLD)
Ekko knew too much about death and sacrifices, knew too much of all of the things Zaunites had to go through, he knew it because he, as well, lived it all through.
But when he saw you? You, the person he adored so much as a teenager. You, his childhood lover, the person he thought would be with him forever, you, that somehow disappeared or died⌠he didnât know if his eyes were playing tricks.Â
It was like seeing a ghost, seeing a person so familiar and yet seeing a complete stranger. You were still the same, but not quite how he remembered. Your face got a lot slimmer, your hair changed, and the clothes that were obviously made by you were hanging loosely on your form.
But your eyes.. the windows to life itself seemed so dim, the colour seemed to be so dark, your expression so harsh and rough, just like you now in general.
Eight years really did something to you, and even if he didnât know what happened, he still felt the same tug to you, the feeling only you could radiate. The aura of acceptance and understanding was so foreign in Zaun, so whenever Ekko had the chance, he would bask in your presence, knowing that whatever that would happen, you could make it right. And then.. it all ended when you disappeared, or left.. He was so sure that you died, and his childish grief was unbearable. Late nights were spent crying in his bed, vows were whispered, quiet sobs of reassurance that everything will be good, that he will fight for you.
So when he saw you, safe and sound, he felt a bit fooled. What do you mean that eight years were spent grieving for a person that just.. simply left? His fingers twitched softly, the muscle memory absentmindedly ready to go for a tight hug. But he couldnât, not when he didnât even know why you were here.
âLook who came back from the dead.â He said mockingly, a sneer on his face as he watched your form in the distance.
âLook whoâs talking with the dead,â You replied, nails tapping the gun that was fastened to your belt, a cool undertone to your voice.Â
âYou changed, Ekko..â You mused as you looked him up and down, eyes lingering and quickly moving from place to place. âWhatâs with the dirt on your face?â The mocking confusion was evident, and that made his jaw clench.
âIs that the only thing you have to say?! After all those years? Dirt on my face? Dirt is already a part of me in this rat hole! Youâd know that if you hadnât been gone, Toots!â
You watched his eyes widen in embarrassment, the nickname heâd give you while you were still children slipping effortlessly from his tongue.
âAh.. the good old nickname, huh? Brings back old good memories.â You muttered and Ekko watched you take some steps closer to him, and he felt his heart beat harder with every step you took.
âThe times we were together, Ekko..â You whispered as you stood right in front of him, your hand on your hip next to the gun.
âWe were children, that wouldâve changedâŚâ He muttered in response. Lies, he didnât believe that, his inner child was screaming otherwise, saying that if he tried a bit harder youâd stay.
âYes, but those were the good times.. when we were children. Kind and innocent, not carrying the heavy blood on our hands.â Ekko watched you talk, words coming gracefully out of your mouth, the same way youâd tell him the solution.. to everything. To life itself.
âThe times when weâd be inseparable, hip to hip. The time when we felt something-âŚâ You continued to tell the stuff that came to mind, eyes filled with confusion as you stared down at the ground, your hand moving upwards to his chest, the barrel suddenly touching his heart. â- right here..â
The tip of the gun was cold against his chest, the cool feeling seeping through his shirt.
âWe were stupid, nothing is eternal. We grew.â He looked at you as his jaw ticked, the gun to his heart not intimidating him at all.
â-And yet you still act like a child.â He suddenly added. âLeaving without a word and now pointing a gun that you donât even know how to handle.â
You scoffed, the emotional side suddenly changed to irritation.
âExcuse you, I know how to handle a gun just right!â You exclaimed, eyes furrowing and eyes widening.
âOh yeah? A person with a gun doesnât hesitate to just shoot.â
âI could shoot just right, nerd.â You sneered, the pistol skimming up to his mandible.
âDonât call me that,â He hissed, breath hitching at the feeling of the cold metal against his jaw. Heâd be lying if the sensation wasnât making him nervous, but not the usual nervous but another. The one that kinda makes you weak in the knees.
âWhy not? You are a nerd, always have been.â You shrugged, the distance between your bodies almost invisible.
âWhy donât you shoot, huh? Show how great you are. Iâm not scared of your lilâ gunâ He mocked and took a small step forward, as if challenging you by standing even closer to the bullet.
âYou should be.âÂ
He should be afraid, afraid to lose his life, but in the end he was more afraid to lose his mind with you. Why was he playing this game? Maybe or maybe not because he liked itâŚ
âIf I didnât know better Iâd say that you like pointing it at me..â He said with a strained voice, the last bit of his clear mind going to waste.
âHm, maybe. But Iâd say that I like pulling the trigger more..â You breathed out, not backing down.
You both knew what kind of a game you were playing, and maybe that was the point. The tension was palpable, electric.. nothing could quite describe it. The air was cold where you were standing, but none of you two could feel it due to your own reasons.
Â
âI could just-â Your finger slowly moved to cock the gun, and yet he quickly snatched it and slammed his lips against yours, doing you both the favour of doing the first step. The kiss was filled with emotions, anger, hatred and yet relief that it was you.
It was a lot more different than the kisses youâd share in the past, it was quick, sloppy, but who cared? You surely didnât, since you wrapped your arms around his neck, and pulled him flush against you. The pistol fell down with a clack but none of you paid attention, you had other stuff to do.
Ekko was still angry and frustrated, knowing that his grief was for nothing, but on the other hand it all was for nothing, you were there, in his arms, grip and lips to lips-.Â
You never fully left when you never left his mind.
Support banner: @/cafekitsune
#arcane#frostyâs works#ekko x male reader#ekko x y/n#ekko x you#ekko arcane#ekko x reader#ekko lol#ekko league of legends#ekko#ekko fluff#leauge of legends#ekko x fem reader
24 notes
¡
View notes
Text
Once you become powerful enough, age becomes optional. Ah, he knew someone else confirming that sentence so brutally, he laughed automatically with embarrassment. Maybe it has been horribly naive of his part, but he thought afterwards the example of Lelouch vi Britannia ( with Hades-sama, that will be once more pushed behind and pretending he had been unconcerned on the matter ), he wouldn't met people âŚÂ that old. Information of immortality coming from Lelouch hadn't been exposed by main concerned, no, because that boy was far too much busier to ensure, inside chessboards of another locations, he would gain his point towards Hades-sama. It has been Teito who expressed the news. Did he actually processed the information until then ? He thought he was, but apparently no. His age, on the other hand, had been communicated from the beginning. Nineteen years old. Nineteen years old and already immortal. With a God of the Underworld who looked like someone horribly young, and who seemed to play with Lelouch's appearance. Immortality, he knew nothing about it, and didn't seek it. It had fallen on his head. Like several other pieces of information from his valiant friends in which the word demon had a much more demonic connotation than warm side of being a Maoh. If Hades-sama would have wanted to exchange two words with him, he wouldn't have know what he was supposed to say! ! He faced somewhere same problem with Draguel realizing he was more divine than planned and expected.
â Once at the top, I guess there's only the others left to observe. â He commented carefully. Meeting with Lelouch has been made during his greatest period where he couldn't be worse inside whatever first impression and conclusion you've must have of him. He had no matter to manipulate him for whatever ambition since his Maoh position concerning another world, and coming from his behavior, there was nothing interesting enough, educating him towards opened door he got has been his happy ending. Nevertheless, if some day pleasure reached his mind, and find him not enough rightful on his position of king, that nice Emperor giving himself the pass to interfere in middle of Shinmakoku. Wolfram has been indirectly spared because he always acted as his protector, and ensure everything was fine, but the dreadfully warning wind about how he migtht be threatened as an noble stayed present. Teito-san was here for calm down Lelouch, hence they has been fine âŚÂ â Ah âŚÂ â Rest of his explanation generated complete confusion . â An divine one then âŚÂ â He finally expressed the words, confessed that conclusion that needed to be exposed.
Following explanations generated an additional sadness. A settling of scores that had led to nothing. A settling of scores that had only destroyed. Dramatically, it sensed this was the ruins of something else in which he received the reflection without any kind of context. There was indeed a fight going on between an Emperor and an God, which, so far, generated NO CONSEQUENCES. Have you ever met the creator of your own word ? No. Wouldn't probably never met that guy. Hades-sama, otherwise, yes, but he didn't created the Earth. â It's a sad result. A war of egos that ends in irreparable, age-old consequences to resolve, without any happy ending in return. â There was an following silence, as he accepted to confess about it. â I will probably never met the creator of my own world, or whatever creator if I want to be honest with you, though I've met temporary âŚÂ one God of the Underworld. Name must be unknown there. Hades-sama, the protector of the dead --- â Late realization came towards density of revelations he was currently exposing. The Creator of this world died ? The Creator of this world dissociating himself and has been the one engaging that fight ? For some reason, especialy with chessboard talk he had once in a while with Lelouch, and how Teito exposed Lelouch interference with him, he was certain it wasn't insignificant. â Wait, it's your world's own god who decided to fight against himself to ultimately cause simple destruction, and remain unique and isolated somewhere ? How could this world hold even a minute without a Creator to support it ? â He needed then to process his next words. â You are like the last standing guardian of a kingdom that could collapse at any moment because your own god has abandoned you? â Inside higher spheres, they always must be someone handle responsibilities of the board as the Game Master, the one handle foundations of his own world. Lelouch could have that adventurous life because one best friend handled responsabilities in his absence, allowed yet to touch that kind of life. State of this world was more serious of everything he could have guessed at first approach. â No, you doesn't rambled too much. I understand how serious it's is. I would love to bring hope but it will be harder that I initially thought âŚÂ â
Old is a understatement of the century, or thousands of years. though the word was said, he is much older. One of the first beings in the world, though his state at the time was more then the current state of his being. One being seperated into three, the creator god of this world was ever potent in even dealing with something as strong as him. But Dagruel is ever duty bounded, invisible chains that bind him to duty, to wisdom that allow him to last far longer then most beings would. A million years is nothing to him, for he is demon lord Dagruel. King of the giants and everything that comes with it. his only consolation is that one part of him roams the land, enjoying freedom that he never could have.
"Once you become powerful enough, age becomes optional. Though I somewhat envy those who can, my concept is a being that can never age conceptually." Dagruel appeared in the world as if, no childhood, no mother no father. in truth he is ______
"The demons lords...had achieved nothing, but to show their grief. A importance existence was destroyed, tell me. Have you ever met the creator of your own world? I have. And he has created many static beings. But he died, and two of those beings ever decided to fight, one for grief. one for duty."
there were more beings, one such being within the palace itself. the fallen angel deeno, once name Lucifer but now... in any case it wasn't important enough to bring him up. Maybe he is sleeping somewhere else, lazing around as his very concept is to just watch. Unable to escape the fate of what their duty bounds them to.
"My duty, to the creator is this. To guard the gates of heaven itself which stands above us. And to guard the seal to prevent this world from becoming destroyed. Even now, the world itself could die should this seal break."
Duty is the chain that binds.
"Ah, I rambled too much. But I suppose its because you are a existence that can't do anything about it. that I could."
#gigantetian#ic :: yuuri shibuya#( â) post interconnected subplot#couple of people would want to save that world !#long post /
17 notes
¡
View notes
Text
I don't know too much about the horrors Shelley Duvall underwent during the making of The Shining, but I've heard just enough to know that it was at the very least unethical. And sure we can marvel at her performance of fear and horror. It was impressive.
But it also manages, to people who are me, to fall flat in its lack of dimension.
People suffering the sort of torment Wendy are under are not only experiencing fear, confusion, and horror. They're also angry and vindictive and vengeful at times.
What if they'd let her fully act the fear so that she could have pulled back and displayed a glimmer of satisfaction when she hit Jack with the bat, a sense of the hilarious/humor as he went head over heels down the stairs? What I wouldn't have given for a sense of rage and fury as she dragged him through the halls of the hotel to lock him in the pantry. A woman dealing with the shit that she's been under would probably have a moment of sadistic satisfaction when he cries out that she may have really hurt him, he's dizzy, and now he wants that doctor she'd mention.
Sure those may be things that at the time might not have gotten written into a script because maybe at that time, women weren't like that(tm). But that's exactly why Duvall should have been left the choice to act with all her wits about her. Actors bring small nuanced moments like that to roles all the time because they are the ones trying to fit their minds into it wholly and completely and without consultation of any of the other characters around them. And they can bring insights into that role that others may not have thought to.
Think Furiosa re her scream in the desert. That was Theron's idea. And when asked where she found that rageâa question that maybe, in a different world, Duvall might have been able to make the space forâshe responded that women just have that rage. A good actress will find it and put it where it's needed to go, in places her male coworkers might not think to put that.
Sure I don't think there was any performing better than she did during the bathroom scene, but almost everywhere else, I just got so tired of the constant fear/sadness of the performance, which I believe is exactly what was aimed at by the creators for the film. It was exhausting not in a way that makes me feel Wendy's exhaustion, but made her a caricature that she didn't deserve being.
There's nothing wrong with someone in her situation feeling mostly fear and terror, but it's absurd to think it's just that.
Fuck. Where was the disassociation? We got it maybe for the moment she sliced Jack's hand?
I dunno. I'm sure many people have spoken on this much better than me before and probably having seen it more than one (1) single time and have better, more sophisticated thoughts. It was a good movie. I don't recall anyone putting Jack through shit to get his performance and he did a great job, with lots of various emotions throughout. Let actors do their job.
#la de da#I didn't really know what to expect going in#and I accept that some of these thoughts come from already knowing about what they did to get Duvall's performance#So maybe I wouldn't have thought the same if I had watched it without knowing#though honestly I think knowing actually gave me a lot more patience for the portrayal of Wendy that if I hadn't known#I can appreciate now in a way I once couldn't the different forms of strenght women got to show at various points in time#and can appreciate that Wendy is a strong af character#but it would be hard to see it through all that if I hadn't gone into it knowing that the actress couldn't even act properly#annnnyway dont' mind my rambles#furi watches#the shining (1980)
14 notes
¡
View notes
Text
I want someone to love me quietly and loudly at the same time because Im an idiot
#mine#words#human#love#someone unashamed of loving me#someone free to love me and choose me#someone who loves me with every blink#a love radiating from them surrounding me like a blanket making sure i feel it because im an idiot#because im an idiot#clown#feelings#thoughts#love comes in many forms and i dont want this to be romantic only#my friends are loving me openly and casually w lil care packages and notes for me with videos they send me with âill sit w youâs &âi listen#with âyour feelings are validâ âyoure being hard to yourself so im being even softerâ with âhey do you wanna play sthâ#with âwanna body doubleâ and âi rmb you like thisâ âhave you eaten yetâ âcan i give you a hugâ#with âmy treat this timeâ and âcan i come visit youâ with âmissing youâ and âwe share this part of lifeâ#with âhey this reminded me of youâ and âi dont need this but i thought you couldâ with âwhat have you been up toâ and#with âdo you wanna go there togetherâ and âim getting [food/drink] you want some as well?â#with âi can pretend to be your waifu and help with choresâ and âlets cook togetherâ with âlets go on a walk togetherâ#with âtell me when youre homeâ with âtake careâ and âenjoy!â with âhows your day beenâ âhowd you sleepâ#with âtell me about your dream last nightâ âshow me your outfitâ with âhow are youâ and âi can explain it to you againâ with âi'll waitâ#with ânice to hear from you againâ and âi try to understandâ with âim glad a late answer is better than none from youâ#with âyou cannot see your own effort but i canâ with âhow can i help youâ and âjust wanted to see/hear youâ with âhey take this food w youâ#with âi dont mind doing that for youâ with ââ |â âľ|â âââ |â âľ|â âwhen seeing each other on the streets#every lil whimsical every experience thought and feeling shared#im immensely loved and i hope those people know and feel how i see appreciate and love them back#i am loved already#my friends make sure that i do not accept any less love expression and im endlessly grateful for them#âi will try for youâ âi'll try remind youâ âi can wake you upâ this all will get its own post one day
4 notes
¡
View notes
Text
This was so fun to read! Iâm sorry I was slow, I was called to take care of something.
I also realized this ship existed when I was thinking about how cool all three ships are and remembered polyamorous relationships are a thing.
I completely agree with the Sun + Moon + Earth, I feel like itâs the best way to describe them! I couldnât have said any of it better myself!
I also first thought of SonShadAmy in the Boom universe, so please forgive me if I seem like Iâm only focusing on it. Itâs just where most of my ideas came from and reside.
The way I picture them getting together is that Sonic and Amy are already dating or about to date when Shadow comes along, and start dating before either realizes theyâve also fallen for Shadow.
They both started to fall for Shadow around the same time, Sonic did just a week before Amy did. At some point, they both realized they had feelings for both their current partner and Shadow. They eventually sat down and were ready for something bad from what they had to say, but they were going to say it anyways because communication is key for a good relationship. Even if Sonic isnât the best at it.
They quickly realize that they both feel the same way â They both want to date Shadow and still date each other! They want to be in a happy three-person relationship. What they thought could destroy their relationship actually just made it better! They had a conversation about it. I feel like Amy would tell Sonic that she feels proud that theyâre able to have these conversations knowing that Sonic (or at least Boom Sonic) isnât the best with feelings and Sonic just hugs her because, again, not the best with feelings.
(I can totally see them telling each other their favorite parts about Shadow after that conversation đ)
But there was still one problem. Would Shadow accept them? What if he only accepted one and not the other?
Meanwhile, Shadow has realized that he likes these two and doesnât know what to do. On one side, heâs trying to deny his feelings. Heâs been hurt by friends and family, and heâs seen people devastated from a romantic breakup. Heâs terrified of going through the same thing on top of⌠everything else. On the other side, heâs doubting they even like him back.
He still meets up with them and hangs out with them because he doesnât want to loose the friendship and is working on his self isolation issues, but he makes sure that they donât know that heâs falling for them.
Until they appear inviting him to go stargazing, just the three of them. Shadow hates (loves) his mind at this moment because it sounds like a date offer? The way they made it clear itâs just be the three of them being there felt like they were hinting at something. He agrees and has an argument with his brain once theyâre gone that itâs not a date.
It was a date. And it was amazing.
As for when they do get together, all three, hereâs a few headcanons and scenarios that Iâve probably shared with you before.
Whenever one of them (Sonic or Amy) is sick, the other two will most certainly take care of them. I feel like Sonic and Amy would both freak out over their girlfriend/boyfriend being sick while Shadow remains composed, but is secretly panicking as well. He will stay by his partnerâs side through it if they allow him to because he canât get sick from them.
Shadow and Amy both trying to help Sonic with his fear of water, either by trying to help him face it or by⌠I donât know, carrying him over a river?
Amy falling asleep while reading a book about what the world knows about the ancients so far and waking up in her bed. Possibly sandwiched between her boyfriends, or cuddled by one while the other is doing something like making food.
Meeting family. Meeting Amyâs folks goes well, theyâre friendly. Tails is pretty much Sonicâs only family, unless you say the rest of the team is also his found family. Rouge and Omega (and Eclipse if we include the Black Arms) would totally interrogate Sonic and Amy. If not outright, then subtly, and Shadow would recognize it instantly.
I have a lot more to say, but I donât want to ramble too much.
@cellsknife I JUST REALIZED
Shadow cuddling with Sonic and Amy might be different with Silver. Shadow has a habit of curling up around Silver when they sleep, so the two wouldnât get much attention from Shadow. In fact, I wouldnât be surprised if he pushed them away in his sleep because his unconscious self is believing that heâs protecting his baby. And they most certainly arenât going to be able to take Silver from him once heâs asleep.
25 notes
¡
View notes
Text
.
#personal đŤ #THERAPY TIME!!!#omg I love how he can put into words what I can't#i love my therapist so much#I have a beautiful woman saying she is in love with me#a beautiful wonderful intelligent talented incredible woman saying in so many words that she is in love with me#and all I thought was how can I stay with this person if I know that if at some point the other person asks me to come back I will come back#and I'll come back without hesitation#and then I'm already pissed at myself because of all this because I wasn't supposed to want to go back#I can't stand listening to Paramore thinking about her#wjat I feel for her isn't something that giges me joy it pisses me off#and then there comes Ester saying that she is in love and she is so so so incredible#and I can't stop thinking about that one fucking person for gods sake I need help#and then my therapist that man I love that man#he told me MAYBE what you love about that person is the freedom she gave you from the horrible situation you have in your own home#and I was like WHAT?!?#and he said MAYBE. you miss the way you needed to travel far away from your home to be with her#MAYBE you miss the acceptance you had staying with a gay couple when you traveld to be with her#MAYBE you love and miss what that short period of time represented in your life#and my head just đ¤Żđ¤Żđ¤Żđ¤Żđ¤Żđ¤Żđ¤Ż#and I had my oh? Oh! moment#and then to finish he said âBut you have an Ester in your life so what are you going to do about it?â#what moment!!!! what moment!!!!!#I'm still stuck with today's session#rented a triplex in my head
3 notes
¡
View notes
Text
nanami kento, who hates dating, and didnât do much of it in his early twenties. but now, heâs almost thirty, watching all the people he works with settle down, have kids, and he thinks he wants that. so he might as well try.
so satoru sets him up on a few dates â friends of friends, he calls them. and at the end of every one of the dinners, kento goes home empty, exhausted, because he knows what they want is not the same.
still; he thinks maybe heâs being a little self-destructive, maybe too picky, maybe he just got so used to being alone. with satoruâs insistence, he gives all the women another call, invites them over to his apartment.
the first time was a disaster⌠kento had barely set the dinner on the table before his cat had hissed at her, scratched her down the arm in a thin gash. and though it did draw blood, it was hardly enough to warrant that reaction.
he didnât even try to stop her as she picked up her bag and left, huffing like sheâd been morally offend. kento, though, could only smile to himself in amusement.
because maybe kento was a poor judge of character, a man who was secretly hoping nothing would pan out â but his cat could certainly tell the good from the bad.
it became a little game to him, after that. seeing if anyone could win his pet over, and if they could, perhaps they were the one. his darling animal was a fickle thing anyway. a bit too defensive, quick to bite anything threatening after years on the streets.
naturally, no one came back twice.
he was close to giving up, accepting his solitude because he was tired of empty conversations over dinner. but then, he ventured out over the weekend to a new coffee shop, during hours he normally didnât spend out of his home, and met you.
though you only talked for a moment, kento felt like maybe heâd known you in a past life. a part of him thought maybe it was strange, the way he kept coming back to talk to you, catching you at the end of your shift to see if you wanted to grab a coffee sometime.
by the second date, kento started to think you could turn out to be his best friend.
by the third date, kento wondered if soulmates were real.
on the fourth date, almost two months later, an appropriate time to get to know someone when you were as reserved as kento, he invited you over for dinner. it was, perhaps, the final confirmation he needed to let himself be with you.
he let you through the door, smiling softly as you told him about the book you were reading, and hung his coat on the rack. a moment later, you stopped, distracted, hands covering your mouth in a gasp.
âkento! sheâs the cutest cat iâve ever seen, you didnât even show me pictures!â you exclaim, and, a few feet away, crouched down. âlook at her pretty eyesâŚâ
âcareful,â kento said, âsheâs not veryââ
but the cat approached your outstretched hand, sniffed once, before letting you scratch her under her chin, purring loud enough for kento to hear across the room.
âshes such a sweetheart, you told me she was mean!â you smiled, making a cooing noise as you threaded your fingers through her fur. âkentoâs a liar, isnât he⌠youâre so precious.â
a few moments later, she snapped her jaw at you in a biting motion, and you only laughed, withdrawing your hand. âalright, i get it, i wonât bother you anymore.â
though she still brushed against your legs, just as she did kentoâs, and seemed to communicate some sort of message to him.
âdo you want any help cooking?â you ask, tucking your hair behind your ears. âiâm a disaster in the kitchen, butââ
âsure,â kento said, his chest tightening as he blinked back at you, only in his apartment for minutes and already looking as at home there. he wondered if it was possible to fall in love so quickly. âbut only if you want to.â
#this is very silly#i just wanted to get it out of my drafts#iâve had this thought for a while but#i decided i didnât want to write a whole drabble so now you get this#kento being inexperienced at dating & not enjoying it is very special to me#and so is him having a cat tehe#selfship coded i suppose bc reader is me but itâs not that obvious i hope#kento đ â Ë・â#nanami x reader#xoxo rylie đ ŕ§â Ë・â#jjk x reader#nanami x you#nanami fluff#nanami x gender neutral reader#xoxo rylie đ â Ë・â
9K notes
¡
View notes
Text
Part 7
Can't stop thinking about how the 141 met reader
(she's a long one. not entirely happy with it either so may edit later)
No harm done yet.
You never saw Simon actually hurt anyone. Johnny and Kyle would share stories about poor recruits who fucked around and eventually found out that Simon had no issue beating them within an inch of their life.
You knew he had a reputation and, like the rest of them, had blood on his hands. But it never bothered you. Didn't make you think twice about loving him or seeing him as the protector he had always been to you. To be frank, you could never actually picture any of them being violent.
But his voice... Fuck. His voice. It fucking rattled you. You actually feared for those fucking idiots now. Sure, they deserved to have their asses kicked, but an ass-kicking was probably going to be a welcomed after thought to whatever Simon would do.
You rinsed off, not bothering to wash your hair, but needing to wash up before getting in the bed. Hoping the scalding hot water washed away the uneasiness on your skin that had began to settle into your bones.
Even feeling fresh and laying in clean sheets, you still found yourself tossing and turning wondering exactly what did Simon do?
Did he walk away? Realizing you weren't worth the trouble, did he just tell them to knock it off?
You had stupidly expected Simon to check in. To check if you made it home alright or at least to let you know he was okay. So you waited... And you waited. You had half a mind to call him yourself before remembering it wasn't your place anymore to care. You had cared enough for the five of you.
It was well past two in the morning before you finally called it a night.
The next morning, still nothing from Mr. Riley. Not a 'did you home alright?' or 'are you okay?' text. Nada. Zilch.
Whatever.
Fuck him.
You had to open up shop, but luckily your Saturday mornings were much more relaxed. The shop wouldn't be open until 10, so you had the time to sleep in and enjoy the morning.
By noon, Mere had sent you several texts reminding you that you had promised to go out. You had tried to dissuade her. The encounter with those men last night had brought back sour memories. One involving handsome men coming to your rescue when it was most certainly needed.
You had tried to bail. Giving her any excuse you could: Last night put you on edge. You no longer wanted to go out. After last weekend, you just needed some down time.
Eventually you had realized she was not taking no for an answer after she had shown up to your apartment, already ready for a night out.
"You're not wearing that, are you?" Mere asked. Mere was in her usual Saturday femme-fatal attire. The black leather pants that accentuated her curves and red corset paired well with her freshly box dyed color black hair.
She looked more like a dominatrix than someone who worked at an attorney's office. Even if both professions included bending someone over and fucking them for all their worth. You wondered who would charge more by the hour....
You had pulled out a off white lace square neck top and a pair of high waisted medium washed baggy jeans. A perfectly cute outfit for a night out. Which was your defense when she had suggested you needed to change.
Tab had arrived later than expected (something about a system being down at work), but made up for it by bringing a pre-game snack. Yes, you had officially reached the age where you no longer starved yourself hours before going out to get more drunk quicker and cheaper. No you had to eat carbs or else you wouldn't be able to leave your room the next day as you pathetically nurse a hangover.
Tab wore a denim skirt. If you could even call it that. It paired well with the white tank top that you could make out the shape of her nipple piercing.
But they looked hot. Really hot.
"This is a perfectly acceptable outfit."
"For a day at market, not for trying to get laid."
"I don't want to get laid." You said, rummaging through your closet, yet again. "Getting laid is what got me in this mess in the first place."
A little over two years ago
"Fuck him." Tabitha wrapped her arms around your shaking body as you continued to sob. "He was a prick who didn't fucking deserve you."
"He couldn't even get you to cum." Mere felt the need to remind you as if that would somehow lessen the blow of your heartbreaking into a million shards. The shrapnel feeling like it would kill you.
"I loved him," your voice is small. "I fucking loved him." You had been dating for almost three years. You had his grandmother's ring on your fucking hand for God's sake. "I'm so stupid."
"You are not stupid." Tabitha gave you a squeeze. "He was a liar and a fucking coward." Meredith rubbed her thumb on you bare leg, offering physical reassure. Letting you know even if she wasn't the hugger Tabs was, she was still here.
"You can't keep locked up in this apartment." She was unfortunately right. You had not only barricaded yourself in your apartment for two weeks, but you hadn't returned to your bedroom. The scene of the crime. "You need to get out."
"Yeah," Tabitha rubbed your arm as if trying to coax you out your metaphorical shell. "Get some fresh air. We can go grab a treat. Maybe go out for some coffee." It didn't surprise you that Tabitha was offering a treat to entice you to leaving your sanctuary.
"I was thinking going to a bar." It also didn't surprise you that Mere offered her way of coping. Getting so drunk that you forgot what you even sad about. Or going out and finding someone to fuck the sadness out of her.
"Because getting alcohol in her system in this state is just what she needs." Tabitha was the mom of the group whereas Mere was the fun drunk aunt. They balanced one another out.
"Actually," you said, giving a pathetic sniffle. "Going out would be nice." Getting away from the apartment is what you need. And going out would be the excuse you would need to get yourself all dolled up.
What you hadn't planned for was getting so pissed that you had manage to breakaway from your friends. Searching for them in teh crowd of people. Failing and when you pulled out your phone were met with a completely black screen.
Dead. Perfect.
The same moment you swore the night couldn't get any worse, it did.
He looked the same. Same as he been four months ago when he asked you to become his wife. Same as he had been two weeks ago when you had caught him fucking another girl. The girl he told you not to worry about. The girl he insisted was just one of the guys. A girl you had told him time and time again would fuck him the moment she had the chance.
It wasn't always great to be right.
When your eyes connected, your body had went into immediate flight mode. Every neuron in your body was shooting out signals of RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN. So that's exactly what you did.
You fucking bolted.
Or felt like you bolted. But you could only scurry so fast in chunky heels while simultaneously pulling down your skirt that had decided to ride up. Aching to show your ass for all of London to see.
You had made it a quarter of the way back to your apartment. Your feet aching. Toes pinched together from the strap digging into them.
"Baby, please!" You heard him before you felt his arm clamp down on your shoulder. Hard. When did his touch become something heavy? Something that practically burned you.
You turned. Eyes brimming with unshed tears as you hissed at him to leave you the fuck alone. The begging came, but you turned around. Determined to go home. He didn't deserve the chance to explain himself and he could most certainly shove his apology up his ass.
He wouldn't shut up. Insisting it was a mistake. A one time thing her fault. How she seduced him. As if he were the victim in all of this. You weren't buying it. Not for one moment. One doesn't accidentally invite some slut over and fall balls deep into her while they are in the same bed he shares with his fiancĂŠe.
It wasn't until you were in a more dimly lit area that he had gotten the nerve to grab you. His grip was firm on your arms as he held you in place. "Listen to me!" His voice was panicked.
The feeling of anger slowly began to dim as something else began to rise.
Fear.
You were afraid.
You were in a part of town not many people were out and about in at this time of night. No bystanders to really take note of the scene, or at least not any caring enough to stand by and watch; even for entertainment.
Your friends didn't know where you were at and you were tipsy. And alone.
"Cardan," you swallowed, trying to steady your voice. "Please let me go."
"Not until you talk to me," his fingers dug into you. "We can work this out, okay? It was one mistake." He tried to argue, his voice rising, soaked in desperation. "What's one mistake compared to three years?"
"Cardan," you tried to pull away, his grip only tightening. "You're hurting me." It came out as a pathetic whimper. You were so close to crying, too afraid to scream.
"Hey!" A voice barked from behind you. It caused your whole body to stiffen."Get your fucking hands off her. Someone noticed. Someone was here. Someone was here. Someone was here.
"We are having a conversation." Cardan's eyes left you, looking at whoever stood behind you.
"The lass said to leave her be." Another voice. Someone else. Two (three if you counted yourself, but in that moment you couldn't) people against one. There was no a possibility of you getting the fuck out of this situation.
Cardan stood firm. His eyes looking past you. A silent refusal to back down.
"Either you let her go," another voice. Another accent different that the first two. "Or we fucking make you."
"One against four. Odds aren't in your favor, mate." Four. Four men stood behind you. Faceless strangers there to help you.
"This doesn't concern you." Cardan bit out.
"Aye," Scottish. The second guy was definitely Scottish. "I think it does if she's tellin' ye' to piss off and yer bein' a bawbag about it."
"So what'll it be?" The third voice, deep and threatening, yet still so... calming. As if the vibrations from his deep, rich pitch washed over you.
Cardan looked back at you, his eyes not as manic. He realized he didn't have a chance. This was a fight he had to walk away from or else he wouldn't be walking away from it at all. "I'll swing by tomorrow, okay?" He asked.
You couldn't do anything, but nod. Agree that you could talk tomorrow in the safety of the sunlight. Eventually he walked across the street before fading out into the night. Blending in with the shadows.
You turned around to meet your would-be saviors.
Four men. All slightly older than you and so handsome you felt foolish for gawking at them as if this were your first time seeing a man. Hell, maybe it was. At least specimens like this. All of them tall and broad. Towering over you.
No wonder Cardan got the fuck out of there. Tabs was right. He was a coward.
"You alright?" The one who first spoke up asked. You could place his voice. Now just needed to place the other three. He had a hearty mustache and mutton chops. A look on any one else would make you immediately get the ick. But for a moment you wondered if that mustache would tickle... "Do you need us to call anyone?"
You felt your cheeks flush with heat.
"I just want to go home." You said. "Thank you for stepping in. I don't know what would have-" You stopped. Too afraid to think about the possibilities. There was a time you would never believe that Cardan had the ability to hurt you.
There was also a time you believed he would never cheat. You weren't really sure what to believe anymore. "Anyway," you continued. "Thank you again." You turned on your heel before continuing your stride.
You had only made it several feet before you were stopped again. "Which way? One of us can walk you home." You weren't entirely sure. But with a dead cellphone and a unhinged ex probably lurking in the shadows, there was little time to weigh the pros and cons before giving them a general direction of where you lived.
Which just so happened to be the direction in which two of the four lived. The Scot and one of the two who had yet to speak. The first one, who had still yet to introduce himself instructed the two of them to drop you off and let him know you had made it home alright.
You had hoped that the rest of your night would be met with silence, but the Scot couldn't seem to help himself. "I'm Johnny." He introduced. "And the spooky, silent type is Simon." He gave a playful wink. You gave him your name, not wanting to be rude.
"Not my place to ask," he began. "But what was the deal with that fucker? Ex-boyfriend?"
"Johnny." Simon's tone held warning. You appreciated the defense, but frankly didn't care. These were strangers. Who cared what they thought.
"Ex-fiancĂŠe," you clarified. "One who decided to fuck another girl in my bed. Not even our bed. My bed."
"Jesus fucking Christ," the Scot swore. "I was right. He was a fucking bawbag." For whatever reason, that made you laugh. For the first time in two weeks you fucking laughed. And it felt like you were breathing again.
Simon was quiet, not contributing to the conversation and just letting Johnny babble. Talking your ear off in a short trek as if it were an olympic sport.
You were so distracted with his voice you hadn't realized how far you had made it until the sound of your keys clattering onto your kitchen counter brought you back.
Back to a situation you didn't know how the fuck you landed in.
Two men (who you don't know) are in your apartment. Your friends don't know where you are. You are a little bit too inebriated to plan and exit strategy. Doesn't exactly help your confidence in fighting them off since they are built like fucking brick houses.
"He won't come sniffin' around here botherin' ya, will he?" Simon asks, speaking for only the second time since he had threatened Cardan. You shake your head.
"No," you said. "I have him blocked on everything. So I think when he saw me tonight it was just kind of an opportunity, I suppose?" You offer. Cardan had showed up to your place one time with a random assortment of flowers and a useless apology you had to hear through the door as you covered your mouth. Concealing your cries. Too afraid to let him know you were there.
Too afraid that some part of you would be weak enough to take him back.
"We'll leave ye' be." Johnny said, nodding his head toward the door. "But if he comes bein' a shite to ye again, you can give us a call."
"Phones dead." You explain, holding up your phone as if you needed to prove yourself. Johnny offered the brilliant, yet simple solution of giving him your number. He sent off a text, knowing it would be there when you turned back on and promising to check in later.
They both gave subtle nods of goodbye before turning away.
And just like that, they left. The door clicking softly shut behind them. You stood, frozen for several beats before walking over and locking the door.
You plugged your phone into the charging cable, waiting until it lit back to life before shooting off a text in your group chat with Tab and Mere.
Sorry I took off. Ran into Cardan and fucking made a dash for it. Sorry if I worried you. I'm at home. I'm okay. Grab lunch tomorrow and we can talk about it? My treat?
You signed off the text with a heart emoji and turned your phone on do not disturb. Too afraid of your friends going all Mama Bear on you for running away while drunk. Even if your reasons were valid.
You had texted Johnny again. Not because Cardan dared to bother you again, but to thank him. Acknowledging that not many men would have done for you what he and his friend did. Johnny assured you it wasn't anything.
Before you knew it, the two of you were hanging out with Simon always tagging along. It took you a while to realize he did actually like you, but his stoic nature was just who he was. You had met Kyle and John, both as charming and respectful as Johnny and Simon.
John had been the first two mention wanting to take you on a date. It didn't go well with the other three. They all had the same intention and a rock, paper, scissors tournament seemed to juvenile to figure out who got the privilege in courting you. Eventually, they had decided to ask you.
Putting you on the spot to answer the question that had begun to tear them apart: which one of them will it be?
Johnny made you laugh. He was the first person you thought about calling when your day was a bit grey. He saw the positive in everything and was the one who made you feel like even the bad days weren't so terrible.
Then there was Simon. The one who you felt like was your safe place in body and mind. You would babble all day talking to him, thankful when he would let you rant. Your mind was able to go on auto-pilot in terms of safety because you knew Simon would handle it. He also gave the best hugs.
John was the one who instilled the confidence in you that you needed. Your bookstore, your writing, whatever aspirations you had, no matter how wild, John would support it. Nothing was too big. After you all started dating, he was the first person you ever let read your book. He gave you praise as well as critique, pointing out multiple plot holes and helping you craft it better. And never once taking credit for it, even when it was due.
Kyle was the most thoughtful one. He was the one who knew you liked trying knew things so he made an effort to always make date nights interesting. A new restaurant, a new activity or experience. He was the biggest giver of the group.
So when they did ask you, you answered honestly.
"I can't choose." They insisted that you didn't need to spare their feelings, but you stood firm in your decision. "No. I can't choose. I'm interested in all of you." When they pressed on why the fuck you didn't say anything earlier, you told them to avoid this kind of situation. Where you had to choose. You were fine continuing on as just friends if that meant you got to keep all of them.
Mere and Tabs were great friends, but they are the ones who helped pull you out of the slump. The ones who made you feel lovable. The ones who made you feel like a woman again.
"Helloooooo." Mere's hand waved in your face while another held something she had found in your closet. "So are you going to change or not?" Your eyes darted to the skimpy glittery black dress. The same one for your first date with them. Your stomach twisted as you took the sparkly dark fabric in your hand.
You nodded as if trying to shake the memory out of your mind. "I'll change and we can go." Better just to get it over with.
The place that Mere had dragged you to was a club that played music that you would only listen to while encapsulated in the aroma of cheap liquor and sweat. Your outfit form-fitting. The material too stiff to be comfortable, but it was cute. The hem of your dress coming to rest just below your ass cheeks. Hugging your body in a way that made you feel self conscious the moment you stepped out of your building.
Mere had run into some work colleagues. Names you couldn't and wouldn't remember. There had been a high profile divorce going on. Very messy. She had been so encapsulated by the gossip that she hadn't notice you and Tabitha had slipped off toward the bar.
Tabitha insisted on shots and you needed something to get your mind off the less than exciting night. Your expectations weren't high, but fuck. You would have been much more comfortable wearing the jeans. You felt like a piece of fucking meat. It would have been so bad if someone were gonna buy you a dr-
"This seat taken?" It was a cliche introduction attached to a slightly better than average face. Decent enough where it didn't hurt to look at him, but not attractive enough to be a seat.
"By all means," you said turning back to Tabitha who looked at the guy now sitting to your left and raising her eyebrows. Fucking hell. Not her too.
"It's pretty packed tonight." He commented, attempted to make small talk. You hated small talk. At least unless it came to Johnny who would get into discussion on politics, religion and why on the side was the best way to fuck because it gave him 'a perfect view of the front and back of ye.'
"You come here often?" You asked, not wanting to be a total bitch, but having absolutely zero desire to be entertaining him.
"When I can." He said. "I prefer the Artifact a couple of blocks down. Not many people heard of it. A bit of a hole-in-the-wall place." Oh cool. A fucking hipster who liked to act superior at knowing a place that is underground. You could feel any possibility of getting your pussy wet, dry at the thought of this man actually wanting to come onto you.
Jesus, when did you become so harsh.
I blame Simon.
"Oh," you say, no longer interested in entertaining the conversation. "Sounds lovely. My friend and I just came out for a bit of girl-" you turn to look at Tabitha who had somehow miraculously disappeared in the 45 fucking seconds that your back was turned....
Little bitch.
"Bathroom, I suppose." He laughed. It was the sincerity in his voice that irked you. God, why was he pissing you off just trying to start a conversation?
"I suppose." You gave a soft smile back, turning once the bartender had come over to grab your order. Which the stranger next to you had insisted buying. Nothing quite as arousing as obligated conversation.
"There's no need for that-"
"Percival." He introduced. "But my friends call me Percy." Your immediate thought was who the fuck names there kid Percival. The second was to offer him a fake name. Real enough to be believable, but fake enough where if he tried to search you up on any social media, you could just deny having any.
"I hate to be brash," he started. Then don't. "But I can't imagine a girl like you being single."
"Not really looking for anything romantic at the moment." You say, the first time you've been truthful this entire conversation. Percival leaned in closer, before asking in a low voice that he was doubt trying to convey as sexy, "Are you sure?"
And there it was. The final ick that nailed the coffin shut.
You offered in a soft smile before swallowing hard. "Percival,"
"My friends call me-"
"I'm going to be frank." Your voice is soft, as if explaining to a small child why we don't always get the things we want. "I just got of a very long and deep and meaningful relationship and the idea of being near another man in any intimate or emotional capacity wants me to cause very serious bodily harm to said man."
His expression fell.
"I appreciate your confidence in coming over here and making small talk, but if you're wanting to fuck me or even attempt to be friends, I must inform you that is no only not in the cards, but not in your best interest." You turned, downing the rest of your cocktail.
"Time for a trip to the bathroom myself, I suppose." You stood from your seat, having to readjust your dress.. "Have a good night."
You were washing your hands when a red-faced Mere walked into the bathroom. Tabitha on her heels with a concerned expression.
"What did you do?" Mere asked.
"What are you talking about?" You asked. You had half a mind to ask them why the fuck they pulled a disappearing act after insisting you go out.
"You told Percy you would castrate him?" You looked as if you had been slapped. The pieces falling into place to reveal a totally fucked up puzzle.
"You fucking tried to set me up." You seethed, a finger pointing accusingly.
"Well, fuck, what did you expect me to do?" She asked. "You were sulking."
"Listen to me!" You cried. "I want you to listen to me. I was with them for two years. It hasn't even been two weeks and you're going behind my fucking back and trying to set me up with fucking Percival? How the fuck do you even know him? Do you even know him?" She ignored your last question. How convenient.
"I thought it would be good to get it out of your system." She tried to defend, her pissyness now matching yours. "You always do this. I was just trying to help."
"What do you mean 'I always do this'?" Your eyes turned into slits.
"Why don't we just calm down and-" Tabitha tried to stop the escalation. Mere, very obviously, ignored that cue.
"You get so hung up on a guy, or in this case guys, it takes you fucking weeks to recover." You stare at her. Unsure if she was really comprehending the bullshit that had come out of her mouth.
"I'm certain you aren't trying to make me feel bad for grieving a relationship that I was in for over three years to a man I was engaged to. To find him fucking in my apartment, in my bed the same week I was going to get my wedding dress."
"It's not just Cardan," she went on. "Issac in our second year of school?" You gave a humorless chuckle.
"Oh yes," you said condescendingly, "the boy I had dated from 14-years old- until I was 19. The boy I gave my virginity two months before he told me he was not only not interested in me, but women in general." As if that somehow lessened the blow. "Absolutely shouldn't have bothered me a bit."
"You only went out for classes and food for two months!" She said as if you had hit a pedestrian with your car. As if you were a fool for being so distracted by a breakup you couldn't be bothered to carry on with life as normal.
"I'm sorry that I actually take the time to grieve my relationships." You said. "I forgot that it may be hard for either of you to comprehend what a relationship is like considering the only relationship either of you have is with your work or with each of us."
"Hey!" Tabitha said. "I understand your pissed, but there isn't need to attack us like this."
"Attack you?" You asked. "Attack you? This isn't me attacking you. This is me responding to an uncomfortable situation that you put me in. I told you I didn't want to even think about me. I didn't want to fuck someone else and you go and do this?"
"He seems like a decent guy." You roll your eyes.
"Probably why he's not your type, right?" Mere crossed her arms over chest. Eyebrow arched as if she were hoping the words enticed you to realize that you had a history of going after the wrong guys.
Unfortunately, it did not.
You sucked on your teeth, carefully choosing your words before World War III broke out in a nearly vacant bathroom in South London. You took a deep breath. Calming yourself as best as you could.
Before saying fuck it and letting it loose.
"Just because your idea of coping is getting drunk and fucking someone you plan on never speaking to again, quite literally discarding them like trash, doesn't mean the rest of us cope the same way." You hoped it hurt. You hope it stung the same way she had tried to sting you.
You had hoped that your word would be the final blow before both sides called a treaty.
"You mean like they did you?"
And just like that, you heart stuttered. A rapid dum dum dum in your chest as it had been tripped up by her words. The truth in them heavy. The shift in the air was almost immediate;.
"Sweetheart-" Tabitha had tried to reach out before you jerked away.
"Enjoy your night." You said, grabbing your purse where you had left it by the sink. "I'm going to go home and wallow in my self pity." You exited the bathroom, hearing your named called again before shifting it into gear and getting the fuck out of there.
Weaving through the sea of bodies like water flowing around rocks.
Who the fuck cares if you want to cry? To grieve? To be angry? To get closure? To move on? Who cares if you don't want to be the girl who gets her heart shattered and not fuck somone else? Who wants to feel the comfort of a familiar body, a touch that feels safe one last time before you go back into a world where you will only be touched by a stranger?
It didn't matter that you were the one to breakup with them, even if the relationship was broken. It's foundation cracked.
What did matter is that the people who should have supported you and in the way you were dealing with your loss in your own way, didn't. And that's the part that they seem to forget. It is a loss. It's mourning someone who hasn't died. Someone who is still living, yet still no longer there.
"Off already?" Percy cut in the way, blocking your escape. You weren't in the mood.
"Listen-" you started before he cut you off.
"Not anything romantic, I know," he raised his hands as if in defense, "but maybe like another drink or a dance?"
You closed your eyes, wanting to hold off starting a scene and tearing him a new asshole. "Like I said, not. interested." How much clearer could you spell it out?
"Come on." He said, his hand coming to rest on your hip. The grip on it weak. You were by no means the type of woman that could take on a man like the ones you still held in a chamber of your heart. But you could most certainly handle your own against Percival. "I'm asking for a dance. After what Meredith told me, I figured you'd be down for at a little more than that."
"I don't follow." Your blood ran cold. Your heart praying that any assumptions that were running through your mind were wrong, they were wrong.
"She mentioned you having a group of like guys you fucked, but stopped fucking." He shrugged, offering a coy smile that you ached to wipe off with the back of your hand. "I don't judge. It's kind of hot honest. Did they run train or-" You felt it then. His hand had traveled from your hip to the curve of your ass.
And you froze. You froze like a coward. Too afraid to speak or scream. Too ashamed to push him away, cause a scene.
But you didn't need to do any of that.
In an instant, Percy's hand was off of you. It took you a moment to realize that a figure dressed in black stood beside you. Your own personal grim reaper.
"Put him go!" You pleaded, breaking out of your trance. You took hold of his arm putting all of your body weight on his arm, trying to break his hold. He didn't falter.
You could handle you own against Percy.
But Simon could fucking kill him without breaking a sweat.
You looked at Simon's face. His eyes were darkened. The soft brown you had once loved staring into were now almost black. You could even make out the dark circles, even in the unsettling flickering of strobe lights in the club.
"You touch her again and I'll slit your fucking throat. Understood?" Pure venom fell from Simon's lips, but you knew he wasn't lying. Simon was the type of man who didn't say something he didn't mean.
You knew that all too well.
Percy choked out an ineligible, gurgled response as Simon's hand held firm on his throat. "He understands, goddammit, no let him down!" You ordered hitting at him as if it would stop him. "Simon, please!"
It was only when you said his name, did Simon loosen his grip. Letting Percy drop to a heap on the floor before he started a having a coughing fit, trying to suck in as much air as he could.
Simon looked down at you and the exit before scooping you up and hauling you over his shoulder like a sack of flower.
You wanted to die. You wanted to crawl in a hole and die and never show your face again.
"Get in the car." He at least had the decency to open the door for you. Simon wasn't a flashy man, by any means, but he was still a man. A men did love their cars.
He stood, waiting for you but you didn't move. You glared up at him. He had carried you out of there in the most humiliating way possible. You had to fight against the hemline of your dress or else everyone would have gotten an eyeful.
Hand still on the door, he leaned down, getting closer and closer to your height. "You get your ass in this car right now," his breath warm against your ear. "Or I'll have you over my fuckin' knee." His tone was sharp. It wasn't seduction in form of a threat. It wasn't even a threat.
It was a promise.
"We're over." You reminded.
"Do you think that'll fuckin' stop me from spankin' some sense into your bratty ass?"
"It doesn't give you the right to fucking do that to people, Simon!" You huffed. "You could have killed in."
"Could have," he agreed. "But didn't. You're welcome." he nodded toward the car. "Now, in you go or I'll do it here. You already know I don't mind an audience."
The heated seats were a bit to warm for your liking against your bare ass. The tension in the air was uncomfortable. Your hands ached to touch the radio. Anything to stop the silence between the two of you.
"I got home fine the other night by the way." You said, looking out the window, hoping to make him feel like shit for not checking in like he should have.
"I know you did."
"What do you mean you know I did?" You asked, turning to look at him. He shrugged as if it wasn't anything out of the ordinary, not stopping.
"Just did." Was his only answer.
"Are you fucking stalking me, Riley?" That made him laugh. You would have felt better if there was at least a sense of humor in it, but, instead, only disbelief.
"Oh, Riley now, is it?" He asked.
"You're not my body guard, Simon." You snapped.
"Not trying to be," he said. "I was never trying to be." You caught it. A very small slip, but it was something... something you couldn't place.
"Then why?" You ask, your tone softening. "For someone who makes it very apparent to be done with me, you sure do show up at convenient times. Hard not to think your keeping tabs on me."
He didn't say anything. No explanation or excuse. Not evena smart ass comeback or remark.
His hands reached forward and turned on the radio, turning the volume just loud enough that if you were to try and continue the conversation, your words would be drowned out.
He pulled up in front of your building, yet you made no move to get out. You turned off the radio, soaking in the silence once more. You wanted to know why? Why was he appearing out of nowhere like a fucking ghost? Why was he helping you?
He sighed before putting the car in park and stepping out. Coming around to your side he opened the door. "Get inside. Go to bed." There he was again. Fucking bossing you around as if he still had a say.
You wanted to cuss him out. To spew hateful words just as he did you.
But you didn't.
You were tired.
So fucking tired. And the idea of going to bed did sound pretty good in that moment. You made it to the door of your building before he spoke again. "And if you need to out at this time at night call a goddamn cab."
"Why?" You asked, turning around. "Getting tired of having to follow me around on foot, Si?"
There was a pregnant pause. Neither of you speaking. His body shifted forward, as if contemplating getting closer to you. As if the pull you once had was still there.
With his eyes trained on you, you felt a chill run down your spine. Twice you had seen that look on Simon's face before. The look that he had given the figures concealed in the shadows last night. The same look he had given Percy.
Only this time, it was directed at you.
One that personified the saying, 'if looks could kill.'
"Because," he growled out, "the next time I find someone else touching you that way, I'll fucking kill them."
3K notes
¡
View notes
Text
can you see right through me?
azriel x mate!reader
summary: after finding out you're mated to the Spymaster of the Night Court, you can't help but feel self-conscious, thanks to the jealous remarks made by patrons at your bookstore.
warnings: mentions of self-hatred and self-sabotage, angst!!!, body image issues, depression, mentions of death, azriel is an idiot but he figures it out ok, mentions of sex & the mating frenzy
word count: 9.5k (oops...)
Ever since finding out that youâre mated to none other than the High Lordâs Shadowsinger two months ago, everything in your life has flipped upside down.
Youâre not just some ordinary bookstore owner anymore, youâre now part of the Night Courtâs Inner Circle by default. Your status as a citizen in Velaris has completely changed, but you refused to quit working just because of your mate, much to his disappointment. Heâd rather you just stay with him in the House of Wind, filling your days reading your favorite books instead of selling them, but you insisted. You wanted to get to know the male better before immediately accepting the bond, moving in and forgetting about your old life, especially after hearing all the things people say about you and your new mating bond when theyâre in or around your shop.Â
You have to deal with sidelong glances and whispers from almost everyone who comes into your tiny shop next to the Sidra, have to hear the spiteful unmated females who might kill to be in your position.Â
âHow do you think she got him? Do you think she slipped one of those banned love tonics into a drink or something?âÂ
âHe could be mated to anyone, and the Cauldron picked her of all people?â
âI wouldnât be surprised if he already rejected the bond, I donât ever see them together.â
âSheâs definitely just using him for his money and power, she had to have manipulated him somehow.â
âI thought he was with the Morrigan, sheâs much more fitting for a male like him, much prettier.â
Every snide remark hits you like a knife to the heart, but still, you keep your composure throughout every single day. It isnât ever until youâre in the safety of your own apartment above the bookstore that you allow yourself to mull over the comments, to let yourself fall back into old self-loathing habits.
You quickly learn how to contain your sadness to your end of the bond, blocking Azriel from seeing the pain that you endure on a nightly basis. Youâre convinced he would be so embarrassed to see you cry yourself to sleep, to see you poke and prod at your skin in front of the mirror, to see you skip over meals in order to appease that incessant hatred filling your mind, to see you become filled with so much disgust in yourself when you replay the remarks over and over and over again.
The comments never seem to die down as weeks pass, and you slowly convince yourself that theyâre all right, that Azriel is going to reject the bond because you donât deserve him. You donât see him often anyways, as youâre both preoccupied with your jobs throughout the week, which doesnât help the fact that youâre convinced that he doesnât want to be around you.Â
Youâre stuck between trying to change yourself to fit what you think the Illyrian would like in a mate and rejecting the bond before he gets the chance to break your heart. You eventually decide itâs worth a shot to change yourself into the ideal, beautiful mate that you think he wants you to be before being stung with the inevitable heartbreak that comes with rejecting a bond.Â
Sundays used to be your favorite day of the week because you get to close shop at mid-day and spend the rest of the day reading at the foot of the Sidra or walking around to the nearby shops.Â
For the last few Sundays, you didnât feel like doing anything aside from wallowing in self-pity in your bed. You never let yourself do just that, though.Â
Youâd taken it upon yourself to change your lifestyle after thinking long and hard about the women that heâs surrounded by in the Inner Circle. All of them are tall and toned and so strong, more in shape than youâve ever been in your life. All of them have natural beauty and grace that you could only wish to have.Â
Every Sunday for the last month, youâd spent the afternoon running or doing some kind of training in order to âfix yourselfâ, to look an inkling more similar to those beautiful high fae of the Inner Circle. This Sunday was no different.Â
You closed the bookstore around noon and headed up to your apartment, changing into training clothes before deciding to go for a long run after a day of extremely ruthless comments. You slip out the back door of the bookstore to begin your run, but are halted almost immediately when you walk straight into a wall of leather and warm skin, shadows skittering around your shoulders as you take a step back.Â
Azriel peers down at you as you frown at him, concern lacing his features when he takes you in. His heart races as you stand in front of him, excited to finally see you after not seeing you for over a week. He swears you look different every time heâs seen you recently, your frame beginning to thin out in ways that concern him, but he knows better than to bring that up.Â
âSâSorry, I didnât see you there.â you say meekly, tugging at the sleeves of your jacket while avoiding direct eye contact with the male.Â
âItâs quite alright,â he says gently, watching you closely as his eagerness extends down the bond to you. âWhere are you going?â
âWas just gonna go on a run,â you reply with a shrug, feigning nonchalance as the self-doubting thoughts swirl around in your mind even more in his presence. âDidâdid you need something?â
âAm I not allowed to visit my mate whenever I please?â he teases, which makes your eyes widen in fear that heâs actually upset.
âIâm sorry, IâI didnât mean it like that!â you stammer, shaking your head at him apologetically as you take a step back, backing into the door behind you.Â
âHey, no itâs alright. I was only joking.â Azriel says quickly, one of his hands coming up to caress one of your arms. âI didnât mean to take you by surprise, Iâm sorry. I shouldâve made sure it was okay that I stopped by.â
You shake your head again, blinking before looking up at him with a frown. He wants more than anything to ask you whatâs bothering you, but can see that youâre obviously already distraught about whatever it is, and doesnât want to pry. Since heâs known you, youâve always been closed off, like him, about your emotions. So, he opts to change the subject instead.Â
âI did have a real reason for coming over here though,â he suggests and you nod slowly, waiting for him to continue. âRhysand requests your presence at dinner tonight.âÂ
âTâThe High Lord?â you question, and Azriel nods. âWâWhy is he requesting my presence at dinner?â
âWell, we have family dinner once a week, and he claims itâs not a complete family affair if my mate isnât present.â he explains, the ghost of a smile on his lips, âI tried to tell him to fuck off, because I know youâre typically busy on Sunday nights, but he insists that you come this week, at least this once.â
Thereâs a pleading look in your mateâs eyes that makes you nearly melt at his feet, and you know you canât say no to him at that moment.Â
âIâI, yeah, I can come tonight.â you say finally, giving him a weak smile as he grins down at you triumphantly.Â
âPerfect,â he retorts, his shadows dancing around you with equal excitement, âIâll meet you here around five? Itâs just over at the River House.âÂ
You nod quickly, forcing a smile onto your face as he leans in to press a kiss to your cheek before bidding you goodbye. The small gesture makes your heart flutter, but you canât help but wonder how forced it is, canât help but wonder if inviting you to dinner is a ploy to bring you in and publicly reject your bond.
Thereâs no way in hell youâre going for a run now.Â
You spend the next five hours pacing around, thinking about what youâre going to wear if you want to even come close to looking as good as the other females that will be there. The clothes in your closet are few and far between, but you finally decide on your nicest dress, one that's made of a gauzy navy fabric, adorned with silver embroidered stars littered over the bodice. Itâs more revealing than most clothes you wear, but itâs the closest thing you have to the clothes that the Inner Circle wear. It takes you almost an hour to feel presentable in terms of makeup and hair, and by the time youâre done, you hear a knock on the back door of the store.Â
You throw your shoes on quickly before making your way down the stairs, mentally preparing yourself for the evening as you do.Â
Azrielâs eyes go wide when you open the door, something like amazement and confusion mixed in his gaze as he stares you down.
âIâIâve never seen you wear anything like this, itâs beautiful,â he starts, unable to tear his gaze from the flowy dress, âYouâre beautiful.â
Your chest aches at his compliment as your mind tries to convince you that heâs lying, but you smile up at him weakly nonetheless. He extends his arm for you to take, ready to lead you to the River House across the Sidra.
The two of you are greeted by more people than youâd expect when you enter the High Lord and Ladyâs home, but you recognize them all before they get a chance to introduce themselves. Youâve only met Cassian and Nesta prior to this dinner, so the first hour was spent essentially introducing yourself to each of them one-by-one. Azriel stays by your side through each introduction, hand on the small of your back as his shadows swirl around your hands comfortingly. He can tell that something in you has changed since he met you a few months back, that the light and excitement in your eyes when you first found out he was your mate has since dissipated. Thereâs an unmistakable lump in his throat as he thinks too much into it, wondering if youâre having second thoughts about him.Â
Dinner comes and goes as smoothly as you hoped it would. The nauseous feeling roiling in your gut keeps you from eating much, only pushing the food around on the plate while taking miniscule bites to fight off any comments that any of them might have about your hesitancy. Youâre only roped into conversations every once in a while, so youâre able to sit back and explore the dynamic between the group a little more without much involvement. Azriel mainly stays silent, only making a few remarks here and there.Â
With a snap of the High Lordâs fingers, dessert appears in front of everyone along with more wine in each of your glasses.Â
âI propose a toast,â Rhysand suggests after getting everyoneâs attention, eyes landing on you finally, âto Y/N, for bringing our Shadowsinger so much happiness.â
A deep blush spreads across your cheeks as you force a smile, raising your glass as the others do too. âCheersâ is mumbled by everyone before they all take a drink, and Azriel reaches over to squeeze your hand thatâs sitting on the edge of the table. You turn to look at him, noting an unfamiliar look in his eyes that you nearly mistake for love, before your thoughts are interrupted by a loud laugh from Amren across the table.
âI, for one, am so grateful that Y/N finally came along after all this time.â she says with a sly grin, âbecause I think if she wouldnât have, then the Spymaster wouldâve continued to pine after Mor for the rest of eternity.â
Thereâs a collectively uncomfortable murmur from everyone at her words, and Nesta jabs her in the side with a warning glare as she notices the smile on your face falter for a split second. You could feel all color leave your face as your heart plummets to your stomach, the femaleâs words confirming all of your doubts about your current situation. Azriel shifts his eyes to you then, but you bring back the same composed mask to your face, the same one youâve held for the last three months any time someone made snide remarks at you, while you try to avoid his burning gaze. You give the female a withering smile, ignoring the worried stare from the male at your side as you do.Â
âTruly, Iâm grateful the Cauldron deemed me worthy of being a welcome distraction to such a male like him,â you say in response with a laugh, hoping your voice comes out in a joking tone as you try to mask the disappointment in your wavering voice.Â
The comment is enough to earn a few chuckles from around the table, pushing away any awkwardness that stemmed from Amrenâs comment. Youâre able to skate through the rest of the evening without any snide remarks from the Inner Circle, glad that youâre one step closer to getting the hell out of this house as the group finally starts to stand from the table.Â
Azriel follows closely behind you as you bid everyone goodbye, exhaustion raking over your bones as you give one final wave to the High Lord and Lady before turning toward your mate.
Thereâs a look of worry shining in his eyes when you finally peer up at him, shadows skittering anxiously around your wrists in the meantime.
âReady to go home?â he questions, forcing a smile onto his face as he guides you towards the front door when you nod.Â
âYou donât have to walk me home, Azriel.â you start once youâre out of earshot of everyone else, stopping in your tracks to look at him again. The look on your face is almost unreadable, but his shadows whisper to him about your pain and embarrassment as the two of you stand on the outside of the front door to the River House. âIâm truly fine to go by myself, you donâtâdonât have to bother to go out of your way for me.âÂ
His brow furrows and a frown pulls his lips down at your words, finally seeing the slightest glimmer of sadness and disappointment shining in your eyes as you speak. He only shakes his head, taking a step towards you before he speaks.Â
âIâYouâre not a bother to me.â he says, unsure of what else to say to you, âIf youâre upset about what Amren said, please know that she always says bullshit like that when sheâs drunk, I have not thought about Mor in that way for centuriesââ
âTruly, Azriel, itâs quite alright.â you interject with a pained smile. âYou didnât ask to be mated to me, I understand if youâre preoccupied with other love interests or if you just donât want to be with me.âÂ
The Illyrian opens his mouth to speak, but is downright dumbfounded by your words to the point where he simply closes his mouth again. He very obviously had been reading the situation wrong this whole time, as he thought that giving you space was the right thing to do in order to let you process the very new bond from your end. He realizes then that you needed reassurance and not space, but it could very well be too late now. Before he can protest, youâre taking a step closer to him in order to give him a chaste kiss on the cheek before stepping away.
âYou donât have to explain yourself to me,â you say, voice barely above a whisper, âI get it, I really do. AndâAnd if you need to reject the bond and never want to see me again after tonight, Iâll understand.â
Oh, fuck. You think he wants to reject the bond.Â
Hazel eyes meet yours then, and you swear you see a twinkle of regret and hurt shining somewhere between the bronzy flecks, but itâs almost undetectable. Such a miniscule expression that you tell yourself that you imagined it, that his face never changed and that he truly does not care about what youâre saying to him now.Â
He shakes his head as you take another step away from him, as you turn on your toes to walk away from the townhouse, away from him. His chest feels like itâs going to cave in then, as the bond to his heart hums with a sadness heâs never felt before. He can feel the bond quivering in pain between your souls, threatening to wither away if either of you even thinks about truly rejecting the bond.Â
But you donât feel it because youâve expertly blocked the bond out for the last month, because you truly believe that thereâs no way Azriel could ever truly want you, because youâre convinced that he wants this.
Thereâs no hesitation in your step when you turn your back to the male, walking in swift strides towards the bridge to cross the Sidra to reach your little apartment on top of the bookstore. You refuse to let him see how much it kills you to freely offer up a rejected bond, you canât let him see how youâre crumbling with each step you take. So you stay steady in your gait, hiding your shaking hands in front of you as you blink back the tears that threaten to spill.Â
If you wouldâve looked back in that moment, you wouldâve seen the tears that spilled down the shadowsingerâs cheeks. If you wouldnât have blocked out the bond in that moment, you wouldâve felt the way you almost tore his heart out of his chest as you walked into the darkness.Â
Azriel didnât follow after you though, he didnât want to make things worse than they already were. Heâd fucked up so badly by not showing you how much the bond truly meant to him, by simply assuming that you needed space.Â
So, he simply sent a shadow to make sure you got home safely and sat down on the front step of the townhouse.Â
He sat on that step for almost two hours, staring at the stars and cursing himself for all of the mistakes heâd made.Â
You only get one mate in your eternal life, and he really fucked it up this badly already?
Memories of the first few times the two of you had met replayed in his mind as he sat there, remembering how your eyes glimmered with the most love heâd ever been shown in his life.
You were shy and quiet, something he wasnât used to from being around the Inner Circle for so long. After living with the loud, boisterous crown for centuries, he was used to emotions being expressed outright. So, heâd mistaken your meek behavior for disinterest, mistaken your nervousness for distaste. He thought youâd needed space, needed time to get used to his brooding and intolerable presence, needed room to process the sudden bond. But, fuck, was he wrong.Â
Everything becomes clearer to the male as as it nears midnight. The ache in his chest becomes more and more painful with each passing minute now, and he realizes that he has to get you back, he has to fight to make you understand how much you mean to him.Â
_______________________________________
Nesta Archeron started her Sunday much earlier than usual this week, thanks to her mateâs early morning departure. Cassian woke her by rustling around their shared bedroom before dawn, seemingly flustered as he tried to gather his leathers and put them on in the dark.Â
âYouâre not very good at being quiet, General.â she remarks tiredly, sitting up in the bed to flick one of the bedside faelights on.
âSorry,â he murmurs, shooting her a sympathetic smile as he nearly trips over the leathers he tries to step into. âRhys said thereâs an emergency in Windhaven, Az and I are leaving soon.âÂ
She only hums in response, watching him finish getting dressed in comfortable silence. Cassian stands over her at the edge of the bed after tugging on his boots, leaning down to press a kiss to her cheek before heading out for the day.Â
Nesta knows then that she wonât be able to fall back asleep, so she decides to reach for her latest read on her nightstand. Once she grabs the book, she realizes that sheâd finished the night before and is completely out of books to read. She knows then that sheâll have to make her way into town, deciding to take a trip to your bookstore at the base of the Sidra for the first time.Â
She took her time getting ready, slipping into a gray dress and her usual boots before heading downstairs to eat breakfast. It was a little after seven in the morning when she made her way towards your bookstore, basking in the chilly morning air as she walked along the river.
It took her all of thirty minutes to reach the store, where she was met with a locked door and a dark front window. It was well past opening time for the store and there were no other signs on the door to suggest otherwise, but your store was definitely closed.Â
âIâm not surprised,â Nesta hears a female say from behind her, giggling to her friend as they pass the storefront, âIâm sure sheâs been rotting away upstairs because the Shadowsinger broke their bond or something like that. The storeâs been closed all week. A lesser fae store owner like her did not deserve a male as beautiful as him.âÂ
Nesta turns to see the culprits of the spiteful comments and laughs, and the two High Fae femalesâ eyes widen upon her whipping her head towards them.Â
Their smirks fall immediately, the one who was speaking starts to open her mouth but Nesta only holds up a hand to shut her up.
âI donât know either of you femalesâand Iâm very glad I donâtââ the sharp-eyed female spat out, âbut I do know the Shadowsinger and his mate. And all I have to say is that if I hear either of you coming around here to harass her or if I hear of you spewing more lies about her relationship, I will be sure to mention it to the High Lord and Shadowsinger. Iâm sure neither of them would be very happy to hear the rumors flying around.â
The females nod feverishly as Nesta stares them down with that silver fire flickering lowly in her eyes, both mumbling apologies under their breaths as they scurry away.
Nesta lets out a huff, turning on her heels to make her way towards the other bookstore across town, where she only finds two new books for herself instead of the countless romance novels she knew she wouldâve found at your carefully curated store. The remarks from the two females about you arenât lost on her as she makes her way through the city, their spiteful words and evil giggles running through her mind as she replays the scenario.Â
Instead of trekking all the way back to the House of Wind after gathering her books, she makes her way to the River House in order to spend the day with her favorite personâNyx.
The day goes by quickly between reading and rolling around with the toddler and his mother, and itâs evening before she or Feyre even realize it. Three Illyrian warriors clad in leathers make their way into the drawing room where the two females lounge on the couch, looking exhausted from a day of crisis management at the camps.Â
âLong day?â Nesta says as she raises her eyebrow at the three males, stroking Nyxâs hair as he sleeps silently on her chest.Â
Her mate only grunts in agreement, coming over to press a kiss to the crown of her head in greeting. The High Lord is greeted by Feyre with a loving stroke of his cheek, smiling up at him sympathetically. Azriel only stands at the threshold, looking more brooding and closed off than usual.
âWell, good news is you can tell us all about it at dinner.â Feyre suggests, trying to lighten the sour mood of the three males as she reaches for Rhysâ hand to intertwine into her own. âNuala and Cerridwen just finished making some delicious stew and I donât know about you all, but Iâm starving.â
Dinner seems to lighten the mood quite a bit for the group, quiet conversation carrying through the dining room after Cassian and Rhysand get their complaints out for the day. Azriel sits on the other side of Feyre, silent for the majority of the meal, only engaging when Cassian involves him.Â
A burning question gnaws at Nesta as she takes in the sad, hazel-eyed male, she can almost feel the pain radiating off of him from across the table as he stares intently down at the barely touched food in front of him. Itâs hard to read the male, so sheâs not entirely sure what the sadness is about, but she has to know eventually.
âHow was your day, Nes?â her thoughts are interrupted by Cassianâs words and his elbow nudging hers lightly.
âGreat, for the most part. Got to spend it with my favorite nephew,â she jokes, grinning briefly over at the babbling toddler being fed by his mother. âBut I did find something very interesting on my trip to get some new books this morning.â
She notes how Azrielâs eyes flicker towards her then, intrigued by the mention of going to a bookstore.
âOh, did you go to Y/Nâs store? Iâve been meaning to ask if you wanted to take a trip over there to get some new books.â Feyre asks while forking some food for her son.Â
âWell, that was the original plan.â Nesta retorts, lips pulling into a half-frown before turning towards the shadowsinger, âHave you heard from your mate lately, Azriel?â
Azriel drops the spoon he was holding into the bowl of stew with a loud clatter, obviously taken aback by the question directed towards him. The room is silent as he finally looks up, seeing four expectant pairs of eyes staring back at him, Nestaâs gaze the harshest out of all of them.Â
âNo, I havenât heard from her since Saturday.â he says, willing his voice to be strong as he feels as though heâs going to throw up.
âHm, interesting.â Nesta hums, eyes sharpening even more, if thatâs even possible, âI tried to stop by the store because I finished my last novel last night, but the door was locked and the lights were all off. Then I ran into the most interesting pair of females who I overheard say that the store had been closed all week.âÂ
âAll week?â Feyre questions, a frown on her face now too.
âYou havenât heard from your mate for a week and you havenât thought to try to contact her?â Rhys interjects, disappointment laced in his tone as he stares down Azriel from across the table, his honed gaze rivaling Nestaâs.Â
âSheâShe hasnât left her apartment since last Saturday.â Azriel grits out, stopping anyone else from their questioning. âShe thinks I want to reject her, to reject the bond. And Iâm starting to think I should.âÂ
Everyone goes silent then, even Nyxâs babbling is hushed as a thick air of tension fills the large dining room. Azrielâs hands are shaking as he stares at his untouched glass of wine, shadows slashing around his wings angrily now.
âWhy do you think that?â Nestaâs the only one brave enough to question him, unafraid of facing the upset male. âWhat makes you think you should reject the bond?â
âI fucked up. I thought she needed space, thought she was overwhelmed by me, by all of this, by being part of the Inner Circle by default.â he says, a pained expression on his face as he finally looks up to Nesta. âI hurt her and I didnât even realize it. She needed me and I wasnât there for her. I canât figure out how to make it better, IâI donât know how to take away her pain. Iâve been her mate for less than six months and Iâve already lost her trust in me. I donât deserve such a sweet creature like her.â
âDo you want to reject the bond?â Nesta persists, and he knows she means to ask if he loves you or not.
âI donât. Butââ
âThereâs no but, Azriel.â Cassian interrupts firmly, âYou either want to, or you donât. And you donât want to reject it, I know you donât. Youâve never been happier than you were when you realized you had a mate and that it was her. You need to get your head out of your ass, stop pitying yourself and start showing her that you want to be with her. If not, youâre going to kill the poor female. Youâre gonna fucking kill her from a broken heart.â
_______________________________________
In all honesty, you donât know what day it is anymore. Youâve sat in the dark in your apartment above the bookstore all alone for Gods know how long, letting yourself wallow in the sorrow that fills your chest every time you breathe.Â
You canât remember the last time you ate, the last time you did anything aside from stare at the wall next to your bed, save for the times that youâve gone to the bathroom. It truly feels like youâre dying, like youâre withering away into nothing, and you might as well be. You donât know what day it is, but you do know that Azriel hasnât tried to contact you since you left the River House on Saturday, you do know that he wants nothing to do with you.
You hadnât realized how much you had grown to rely on the maleâs visits and nervous glances, how much theyâd excited you, until they were no more.Â
The golden thread in your soul quivers every time you think about him, but you donât let yourself think about missing him for too long. You always shut down before it gets too bad, and push yourself back into the thoughts of self-hatred, the thoughts of how you wish youâd just cease to exist already. There wasnât anyone around anymore to check on you, anyone to make sure you made it through this bout of depression like there used to be. Your sister and mother have been gone for years, and now your mate, the one who gave you a sliver of hope for the shortest time, is gone too.Â
When the first knock falls on the door to your apartment, you barely hear it over the incessant ringing in your ears. You choose to ignore it, thinking whoever it is will go away eventually if they stand out in the late evening cold for long enough.Â
But they donât.Â
They knock, and knock, and knock, and knock for what feels like thirty minutes, each knock getting louder and more insistent than the last.Â
You squeeze your eyes shut, willing yourself to fall back asleep to ignore the sound, but it doesnât work. After what feels like hours, but is probably only a few minutes, the knocking finally stops.Â
What you donât hearâor seeâin that moment is the shadows that slip under the door at the bottom of the stairs, quietly unlocking it for their master to slip inside, and the other shadows ahead of their master that report back to him about your state before he makes his way up the stairs.Â
Moments later, you hear the creak of the stairs and your heart sinks, but you feel too weak to move, too weak to save yourself, and for a moment, you thank the Cauldron that some intruder has finally come to put you out of your misery in one way or another.
You donât expect the weak, broken voice of a male at the top of the stairs as youâre laying with your back towards the threshold, the sadness in an all too familiar voice when you hear, âGods, Y/N. I am so sorry.âÂ
It takes every ounce of strength out of Azriel to walk over to the bed after taking in the sight of your studio apartment in complete disarray. The place is unkempt and needs plenty of repairs just from what he can see with a quick scan, but thatâs not what hurts his heart the most in the moment. You facing the blank wall, staring mindlessly ahead as youâre curled up in a ball at the edge of your bed is what breaks him. He finally makes his way over to the wall that youâre facing, but you donât look up at him, unable to take the energy to complete the small gesture.
Azriel falls to his knees in front of you, reaching a hand out to stroke your hair. He takes you in fully thenâyour unkempt hair, chapped lips, red cheeks and heavy eyesâyou truly were dying from a broken heart.
âY/N,â he says gently, trying to keep his voice as strong as possible while choking back tears. You take a long moment to finally look up at him, a look of confusion and then delusion crossing over your face as you doâyou had to be dreaming him, right?
âIâmâIâm so fucking sorry, love. Gods, how long have you been laying here?â he says, and you only blink up at him because youâre not even sure of the answer, numb to it all at this point. âAreâDo you want me to help you? Can I help you somehow, please? IâI wanna fix this, I wanna make you better.âÂ
A strange noise leaves your throat then as your brow furrows at his words, your delusions during depressive episodes have never said anything like this to you before, and thatâs when it all feels too real. You slowly realize that this is very much the real Azriel kneeling in front of you with tears shimmering in his eyes, clasping your very clammy hand between his very warm ones. Tears brim in your own eyes now, the weight of the entire situation hitting you like a ton of bricks. Youâd ruined yourself before heâd even broken the bond, so now youâve hurt him by somehow signaling to him of your suffering.Â
ââM sorry, AâAzriel,â you croak out, the first words to have left your lips in days.Â
âSâYouâre sorry?â he says, voice more stern than before, shaking his head persistently, âNoâNo, thereâs nothing for you to be sorry about, love.â He squeezes your icy hand then, giving you a weak, bitter smile, âIâm sorry for not coming sooner, okay? Iâm so sorry and Iâll apologize until the day I die for not being here for you when you needed me. IâI wanna help you now, if youâll let me. Will you let me help you? Can I take you home with me to get you some help?âÂ
Despite the confusion and sadness swirling around in your deprived brain, you nod at the male, who jumps up almost immediately after you nod. He slowly peels the covers off your frail form, heart breaking at the sight of you. He pushes the ache in his chest down to be strong for you then, gently scooping you up into his arms. The two of you are engulfed in shadows seconds later as Azriel shadow-walks to the House of Wind as quickly as he can.Â
You donât remember much from your first moments at the House of Wind, other than the fact that there were a lot of people around you in a very short amount of time. You recognized some of them, the High Lord and Lady, along with Cassian and Nesta, but other faces were less familiar. One woman came into the room you laid in, tugging a warm blanket over your body before using what you could only assume was healing power on you. Sheâd mumbled something to Azriel on her way out before patting him on the shoulder, and that was the last thing youâd remembered before finally falling into a peaceful sleep for the first time in a week.
Sunlight streaming in through the curtains woke you later on, you werenât entirely sure how long youâd been out for but youâre sure it had been for more than a few hours at this point. You groaned lightly as you stretched your weak legs, eyes fluttering open to take in your surroundings fully for the first time. The room smelled of mahogany and amber, a familiar and inviting scent you knew too well to not understand whose room you were in.Â
Though alone at the moment, you know heâs not far, as his shadows skitter excitedly around you as you attempt to sit up in the bed.Â
The door opens not even two minutes later, the shadowsinger standing in the doorway with a tray of what looked to be steaming food, a glass of water, and some medications. He nearly drops the tray when he sees you sitting up in the middle of his bed, not expecting you to already be awake and so alert. Without a word, he strides over to the large bed, placing the tray on the bedside table before sitting in the chair heâd positioned on the side where you laid.
âHi,â he says with a sharp inhale, giving you a weak smile as he searches your eyes for any emotion he can find.Â
âHâHow long was I out for?â you ask meekly, the full weight of your actions crashing down on you all at once. âHow long have I overstayed?â
âWhat?â he questions, a frown pulling his lips down as his heart sinks. You truly think youâre burdening this male, when all he wants is for you to be safe and to feel loved. âYou havenât overstayed, I brought you here to heal, I wanted you to come here to get better.â
You shake your head then, blinking harshly at him as you refuse to believe what heâs telling you. âNâNo, you only came to find me because IâmâIâm stupid and didnât give you the opportunity to reject the bond before I mourned what we never had.â you insist, looking at him with wide eyes. âIâm sorry you had to deal with all of this, pleaseâplease, you can reject it now, you donât have to pretend anymore.â
The level of self destruction going on in your mind was on another level that Azriel couldnât deign to comprehend in the moment, but he knew it wasnât just by your own doing. He can see the internal turmoil youâre going through, can feel your peril down the bond that he now realizes youâve been shrouding in your own shadows for months, can feel the way youâre tearing yourself apart from the inside out. He reaches for you then, hands coming up to cup your cheeks gently as his shadows rub soothing circles along your back to calm you down, though you continue to babble apologetically about how he should hate you and how youâre the one who should be apologizing for everything.
âY/N, hey, hey, hey. Look at me.â he coos gently, thumbs stroking your cheekbones softly to bring you back to the moment as you finally lock eyes with him, âI donât want to reject the bond, I never wanted to reject the bond.âÂ
You try to shake your head feverishly, but he doesnât let you as his hands stay on either side of your face. âNesta told me about some females she heard outside your store on Sunday, who said some pretty foul things about you.â he begins, having to reign his anger in as he speaks about the females, âIs that something that happened a lot at the store? Did females that come into the bookstore say things to you about us often?âÂ
You canât even look at him now, dread and self-loathing gnawing at your chest as you think back to all the hateful comments thrown at you throughout the last few months. You shake your head slowly now, brow furrowing as you try to push down the bile rising in your throat.Â
âNo, it only happened aâa few times.â you lie bluntly, staring down into your lap as you try to pull away from his touch again and this time he lets you, watching closely as you attempt to stand from the bed. âI want to take a bath.â you say, attempting to change the subject to something less painful.
Azriel is there to catch you when you all but fall when trying to stand on your own two feet, hands landing on your waist to situate you back on the edge of the bed, âYouâre not supposed to be getting up on your own yet. You didnât eat for almost a whole week, youâre too weak to stand right now.â he says softly, hands firmly planted on your waist still, âDo you want me to take you to the bathroom? This food will still be warm when we return if youâd rather bathe now.â
You nod wordlessly, brow pinched in frustration at your current situation. Azriel easily picks you up, carrying you bridal style into the en suite bathroom and sitting you on the edge of the large tub as he draws a warm bath. He turns the tap off once itâs nearly full, turning on his heels to leave you alone in the bathroom for some privacy.Â
âAâAzriel,â you call out before he shuts the door, making the male stop in his tracks to face you, heart nearly shattering when you look at him with wide, shameful eyes. âCan you help me bathe?â
The male is at the edge of the tub in an instant, nodding at you gently. He looks away as you strip out of the clothes that youâd been in for a week, tossing the dirty pajamas into a pile at your feet before stepping into the tub slowly. He helps you ease down onto the bottom, letting go of your hand he didnât realize heâd grabbed once you tug out of his grasp to wrap the arm around your knees you pull into your chest.Â
You settle into the water, letting the warmth engulf your cold limbs as you lean your head back to dip your hair, up to the scalp, into the water. Azriel gives you a few minutes to relax in the water, watching as your muscles finally relax slightly under the caress of the liquid. He reaches for the bottle of shampoo eventually, eyeing you closely as he pours some into his hands to lather it. You lean your head up as he does, giving him a small nod of invitation before he reaches for your scalp.
Thereâs nothing but love and tenderness behind his caress, fingers combing through your damp hair to thoroughly clean it. Heâs careful with every movement, making sure to not make the wrong move and send you spiraling for one reason or another.Â
Itâs such a tender moment as he gently tilts you back to rinse your hair with a cup of water that it nearly makes you sob, but hold back for him to continue.Â
âCan you promise me that you wonât ever let yourself get like this again?â he says, voice barely above a whisper as he runs conditioner through your hair. âIâI donât know if I can handle seeing you so sad ever again. I wonât let you destroy yourself over my stupidity, not when Iâm the one to blame for this whole situation.â
You tense at his words, chest tightening as you hear his voice crack when he chokes back tears. It takes you a moment, but you finally turn to face him, your own tears blurring your vision as you look up at the hazel-eyed male.
âItâsâItâs not your fault, Azriel.â you say, shaking your head insistently at him, âItâs my fault for making you feel obligated to be nice to me, IâI know you didnât ask to be mated to a lowly, lesser fae bookshop owner when thereâs plenty of beautiful high fae females out there ready to accept your hand in marriage at the drop of a hat. I shouldnât have tried to pursue you after the bond snapped, IâI shouldâve let you reject it then so you could go be happy with whoever you want to be with.â
âItâs you I want to be with, Y/N.â he insists, hands shaking as they fall from your head. He falls to his knees then, pivoting so heâs face-to-face with you when he continues, âI donât care that youâre lesser fae, I fucking hate that youâre considered that anyways, itâs a disgusting term. Iâm not even a high fae myself, I donât care about title or status or whatever else, I only care that Iâve finally found my mate.â Azriel is trying his damndest to keep himself from falling apart as he speaks, âMy mate, the love of my life, the one that I get to spend the rest of my days with. I know you feel like I pushed you away and I know I made you feel unwanted, but I thought you wanted space. I know now that you donât, and I promise you that Iâll spend every waking moment, from now until we die, showing you that I am so fucking happy that you of all people are my mate. I love you.â
Whether he realizes it or not, Azriel projects his passion and love down the bond in the moment. Your deceitful brain wouldâve told you he was lying had it not been for that tug and flow of warmth between your souls, if it had not been for the true, unadulterated ache you felt in your chest when he said that he was happy that you were his mate.Â
Tears well up in your eyes once more as you stare at him, really taking him in, in full form, for the first time. Heâs so beautiful, and though thereâs a little voice in the back of your mind that still tells you that heâs lying, deep down you know that heâs all yours. Something blooms in your chest then, something stronger than youâve ever felt, something so compelling that you canât just sit and stare at him anymore.Â
You donât say anything as you continue to stare up at him, reaching your shaky hands out of the water to cup his cheeks. He almost flinches when you do, taken aback by you initiating the touch, but he doesnât. With the strength gifted to you by the love confession of your mate, youâre able to maneuver onto your knees and tug him a little closer, crashing your lips into his in a gentle, watery kiss.Â
âI love you, Azriel.â you murmur against his lips when you finally pull away from the kiss for a short moment.Â
He smiles against your lips, pulling you back in for another kiss as his hands grip your forearms to keep you from slipping in the tub.Â
âWe really need to get you cleaned up before we can finish this conversation, yeah?â he encourages in between kisses, smoothing down your wet hair as it drips on the side of the tub.
You breathe out a laugh, nodding at him before turning to let him continue washing your hair, and then moving on to your body. Each touch threatens to set you on fire, but thereâs no sexual intention behind them, only loving caresses meant to wash you clean of the last week of pain.Â
After getting you out of the shower, Azriel slowly dresses you in one of his large shirts, mumbling an apology about how heâll be sure to bring some of your clothes over if youâd like him to. You only smile at him softly, knowing youâll be bringing more than a few of your items over soon enough.Â
He insists that you eat after your bath, bringing you back to the bed where the soup is still steaming hot, likely thanks to the House that Azriel explained was imbued with magic and would do anything you wished it to. You eat the stew after taking the handful of medications and strength tonic that the healer, Madja, had given him for you, relishing the feeling of the warm food settling in your stomach.Â
The change in your energy level after the strength tonic is astonishing. You feel as though you can run for days, but know better than to try something like that in front of your terrified mate. But, there is one thing that you feel like you need to do at the moment, something thatâs long overdue.
Youâre laying in Azrielâs arms when you finally get your burst of energy, sitting up abruptly enough to make him sit up with you. Thereâs a look of wild concern on his face when he reaches for your hips, steadying you as you pull your legs to the side of the bed.Â
âAre you alright?â he questions immediately, brow furrowing when you miraculously stand on your own two feet. âDo you need something? The House can get you whatever you need.â
You give him a small smile, leaning down to caress his cheek before kissing his forehead gently.Â
âI wanna get this thing myself,â you state matter-of-factly as he raises a brow at you. âYou stay right here, alright?âÂ
Before he can protest, youâre walking towards the door of the bedroom to swing it open. You shut the door behind you, leaving the male in the room without a word.Â
The House is magic alright, you confirm that when youâre on your way down the stairs and it lights the way for you, only letting the fae lights on the direct path towards the kitchen light the way. It knew exactly what you were doing.Â
Youâre met with a cutting board, a block of cheese, a loaf of bread and a bowl of grapes next to an empty plate when you enter the kitchen, a lone fae light above the counter lighting the area so you can prepare the plate. You make quick work of cutting the cheese and bread, trying to ignore the way your hands are shaking incessantly as you saw into the sourdough. It only takes you a few minutes to lay everything out on the plate and the House takes care of the rest, then youâre on your way back upstairs, on your way to change your life forever.Â
Azriel shifts quickly on the bed when you return, sitting up straight as he locks eyes with you. His heart nearly leaps out of his chest when his eyes flicker down to the plate of food in your hand, realizing what you were up to when you left the room.Â
You give him a nervous smile, gripping the plate with two hands as you make your way over to the bed, careful not to tip its contents onto the floor as you quiver. You wonder if he can hear your heart beating in the moment, as you feel like itâs about to beat through your ribcage with one more loud thump.Â
âY/NâŚâ he trails as you shakily extend the plate to him when you perch on the edge of the bed, looking up at you with a look you can only describe as certainty. âAre you sure about this? You want to accept the bond right now?âÂ
âIf you donât eat this food right now, you might as well send me back to my little old apartment so I can try to die of a broken heart again.â you say, voice barely above a whisper as you give him a watery smile and push the plate closer to him.
He takes the plate from you then, but doesnât grab any food at first, looking back up at you before he does. He leans over, pressing his lips to yours in a gentle kiss before taking a shuddering breath.
âI promise you that after this bond is accepted, Iâll spend the rest of my life showing you that you are so much more than all of those evil things that those females said about you. Iâll spend every waking moment showing you how perfect you are and making up for the time that we didnât get to spend together,â he begins, planting a kiss on your cheek, âI love you.â
âI love you, Azriel.â you whisper, ânow eat that food, please. Iâm tired of waiting.âÂ
He smiles at you then, leaning back on the bed as he grabs for a piece of bread and cheese, ready to spend the rest of his eternal life with you, with his mate.Â
_______________________________________
It takes almost a whole month for the mating frenzy to die down enough for the two of you to be able to integrate back into society. Rhys insisted on letting the two of you stay in the Cabin for your time away, but you opted to spend your time in Summer in a secluded bungalow for the four weeks instead.Â
When you do return to Velaris after your time away, Azriel insists on taking another week off from spymaster duties to get your bookstore back on track and to help move your belongings to the House of Wind while the two of you look for your very own home, somewhere closer to the Rainbow where you can continue to run your bookstore. You donât dare to protest your mateâs wishes, letting him alternate between packing the little amount of things you have upstairs and taking inventory in the store while you run the register.Â
Itâs a sunny Saturday when you open your doors for the first time after over a month of being closed, and youâre much busier than youâd expected to be in all honesty, though it seems many of the females coming in are just being nosy to see how true it is that youâre actually back in the flesh.Â
There are less snide remarks thrown your way now, but still enough that they make you flinch every once in a while. They donât bother you anymore, though. During your time away, Azriel showed you how much you meant to him and how beautiful he thought you were in many ways, with his mouth, with his hands, with his tongue, with hisâŚ
âDo you think sheâs single again? LikeâŚdo you think he actually rejected the bond?â you hear a high fae female say on the far end of your busy shop, her eyes darting in your direction as she speaks to a friend.
âI hope so, thereâs no way he actuallyâOh my Gods.â her friend says, eyes wide when they fall on none other than the shadowsinger himself emerging from the back room of your store, a dozen books in hand.Â
A satisfied smile spreads across your face as Azriel walks behind the checkout counter to press a kiss to your forehead before placing the books next to you. The sound of the females whispering hastily falls on deaf ears as your mate turns to you, grabbing a small piece of paper off the top of the pile of books heâd been holding.Â
âFound six more copies of both of those romance novels you said you were out of, so no need to order more until those are gone.â he says while pointing at the books. âYou really need a better inventory system.â
âHmm, maybe Iâll just hire you to do it for me instead, since youâre so good at it.â you tease, shooting him a smirk.
âAs long as Iâm compensated fairly, I wouldnât mind.â he jokes with a wink, pulling you in for an embrace to speak to you lowly. âOn another note, you are officially fully moved into the House of Wind. So once youâre closed up for the day, weâll be able to go home and officially christen the bedroom.âÂ
âWeâve already christened that bedroom,â you giggle, rolling your eyes at him, âitâs been thoroughly christened, multiple times at this point. And if I remember correctly, itâs the first place that was christened by us.â
âAnd?â he says, lips quirked up into a smirk, âI plan on christening it multiple times tonight, and the next night, and the night after thatâŚâ
âOkay, I get it,â you laugh, slapping his chest lightly as you pull out of his grip, âYouâre insatiable.â
âAnd youâre beautiful and the love of my life.â he says, pressing a kiss to your temple.
It was safe to say that youâre getting nowhere past the mating frenzy phase of your relationship anytime soon.
And youâre okay with that.
taglist (add yourself here!): @wrecklesssly @slutforwordsfr @georgiadixon @dreamloud4610 @angelbunny222 @bookishbishhh @fanficscuziranout @Buckingforbuckybarnes @thefandomplace
1K notes
¡
View notes