#and FUCk
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The magic you’re looking for is in the work you’re avoiding
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The trinity of panic.
#ff7#final fantasy 7#meme#vincent valentine#cid highwind#reeve tuesti#I'm still under the impression that they should hold hands.#and fuck#I guess#also; no gay panic; because I didn't know which one to pick#<- might add later
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Wait - sorry, I'm confused isn't vr46 spn academy your story? Cause yeastinfectionvale is publishing it and I'm pretty sure that's a crime and fucking rude
WHAT THE FUCK
oh my god what the fuck thats so shitty i'm literally so shocked adora what the fuck why would you do that like what the actual fuck thanks for telling me anon i shared the word doc with them as a beta reader and they did this??
#rays writing#I'm literally in shock#what the fuck#i shared my ideas and she was helping#and then offered to be a beta#so i fucking gave them access#and fuck#im close to tears#pls someone tell me what to do now???
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Them.
#They communicate well with each other#and fuck#nevermind#love them#jere pöyhönen#joost klein#käärijä#trafik!#trafik#these gay bitches#käärija#jere poyhonen#jeest#jeest infection
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HI JAY!! i just saw ur post abt giving u ideas as to what costumes to give nori and omg my brain automatically gave me an image
NORITOSHI AS CAT!!!! like with pink paws and white fur like in a onesie 😭😭 omg he would look sooo cuteeeeeeee aldoe he acts like a black cat but he physically he would suit a white cat's costume so much better omg imagine him with a pout complaining abt it like he wanted to be something else but u suggested that idea and he cant say no OWNFKDKDKKDDK
HI ROSE!! you're so fucking fr for this. i finished this so fast i felt like it wasnt enough so i messed around and doodled some more.. maybe i'll continue doing this with some of the costume ideas? who knows.
all i knows is how cute this cat boy is
[Doodles under the cut!]
hes.. he's so fucking cute as a cat... I see you're on the side that sees Noritoshi as cat like. interesting. I 100% approve.
I couldn't choose between black cat or white so I went with both and a mix... I fucking. I can't with your mind. it's so big. the pouting got me fucked up bro. you're so fucking fr.................
noritoshi is a very serious and very hard working heir. its why his toe beans are so tantalizing
#kamo noritoshi#noritoshi kamo#kamo noritoshi x reader#noritoshi kamo x reader#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#btw i love your enthusiasm and little bit there at the end#AND FUCK#YOU MADE MY BRAIN CHURN AND I GKHKHK#pouting noritoshi always fucking kills me and sends me to overdrive so i dedicate this to you rose#ALSO. I IMAGINE. NORITOSHI LIKING ANY KIND OF PHYSICAL AFFECTION IN GENERAL?? ESP IF HE TRUSTS YOU. like a cat. heh.#so even if hes upset/annoyed/embarrassed. hed still want your touch#i see him getting MORE upset and annoyed if you stop so i just. fucking die ig#merry october#<- my halloween tag?#???#illogicallyx#IF ANY OF YOU EVER WONDER WHY I ALWAYS COLOR CODE NORITOSHI WITH REDS AND PINKS. its bc of his blood manipulation.. heh. and why pink? bc#love. and hes cute in pink. fucking sue me damn#null rot
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current mood
#phil is sassing the ender king#this is so fucking funny#but every high has a low#and i’m waiting for said low once again#like#he can talk now#he has some possession#like phil is alone#it takes a weak moment#and he’s gone#he wants to prove to rose he’s strong and worth protecting#and fuck#qsmp#qsmp philza#q!philza#qsmp ender king#enderpookie#ender king#qsmp liveblog
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the roles would reverse at the end
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this is Laurent
hes from the movie “In Secret”, made in 2014
as you can see he is played by Oscar Isaac
and i need him in my vagina
no no not his penis
i need all of him up my vagina
like all of Laurent? yeah. i need all of him in my vagina
this is not a joke
this is not a drill
#no no no you guys really don’t understand#i’m obsessed#OBSESSED#he’s so perfect#watch the fucking movie#please#PLEASEE#guys i’m ovulating#and FUCK#he’s so amazing#i need him carnally#primally#he was made for me#oscar isaac#oscar issac characters#oscar issac hernandez estrada#oscar issac smut#oscar isaac characters#oscar isaac hernandez estrada#oscar isaac smut#in secret (2014)#in secret#movie review#movies#movie recommendation#movie reaction#movie recc#movie rant
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steddie sketches 💖 (mostly fluff) but here! i offer increments of what if steve and eddie were dancers from two different styles??? or what if steve was a professional basketball player and eddie, the rockstar, was his boyfriend??
#LIKE#you can think of what style suits the other the most but#steve and eddie having a bit of rivalry#they respect each other as dancers but#they book the same stduio#and one of them always gets out a bit later than their time slot#SO THE OTHER is SEETHING#because their precious 15 mins were stolen#but they cant help admire how much the other gets into it#that they lose track of time#watching them through ghe glass n shit#someone else suggested#what if scheduling got fucked#and they both got double booked#into the same studio room and slot#and FUCK#they cant avoid each other#and professional basketball player steve???#WHERE ARE THE FICS??? TELL ME#and eddie wearing his jersy to a game??? full on SUPPORT#whooping SO LOUD for his boyfriend#best know that instead of NOT knowing jackshit#id rather eddie ACTUALLY manically learned the rules and what different throws and passes looked like#to support steve#some shit not even Steve knows#he just PLAYS#stranger things#eddie munson#steddie#steve harrington
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something extra comforting about going back to the things that i found comfort in high school like night in the woods and early cavetown music (go figure). like, i formed stronger anchors after that and they've kinda dissolved away but these are things i know will always be there for me. they were in the past and they will be in the future and wow... it's pretty amazing to be something, at least
#3 am ramblings#nitw#cavetown#:/#idek anymore#also things like deltarune and old friends who are dependable people and old playlists#these all mean quite a lot to me and i don't want to forget them#maybe it's easier to forget about what's less likely to dissappear#tho i do find myself cherishing the fragile anchors that are yet to snap#perspective changes in weird ways by weird things#and maybe these things are fragile. they won't disappear but they can weaken over time so i must cherish everything i hsve#and it takes so much time for new anchors to sement themselves#fortunately it's not nostalgia#or not primarily#these are not good times i am looking back on#it's more a rebirth#new perspective on old things#a breath of fresh air#and fuck#idk if there's much i need more than that rn
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People love to be all "indie games will save us" and then all the most celebrated indie devs burn their franchises to go work on a dead-service
#risk of rain#dead cells#because we can't have nice things i guess#video games#fuck#windblown#and fuck#deadlock
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i’m honestly waiting to see whether there’s just gonna be zero conversation around why the hell akutagawa pulled the whole go, you fool shit because genuinely there is no logical or narratively fulfilling explanation other than him being in love w atsushi
#sskk#shin soukoku#akutagawa ryuunosuke#atsushi nakajima#honestly tho like are they just gonna be canon orrrrr#bc what else would happen? ???#bones would so cut their confession scene#bones lovessssss shin soukoku erasure#i rlly hope atsushi goes into the mafia and they kiss#kiss kiss kiss kiss and kiss#and FUCK#shin soukoku fucks.#tired of you hoes pretending they don’t#that’s a whole other post tho
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I hate you
But I am overcome by the visions of our younger selves holding hands for the first time.
And how happy we were.
I loved you so much.
She still lives within me - so happy that her chapter is over, forever.
But I hold all her grief, and I always will.
Which means, that there will always be a part of me that loved you so much that I was excited to marry you and stay married. I wanted to, so much.
I saw so much in you. I saw how you tried to love me. You taught me so much.
I never wanted to be crying like this - screaming in my car.
I am better without you, but sometimes I wish I were wrong.
Sometimes I wish I dissolved in the darkness of our mutual making… and be together still. Preserve those precious moments where we couldn't stop laughing or go on long tangents... all the times you were there for me with no contempt.
I wanted to be yours forever, and now I am no one’s.
I was willing to give everything up to stay with you, and I would have done anything you wanted.
Slowly cut off everything that was screaming at me to take care of myself.
Submit myself into constant dissociative daze.
Just to feel your approval. I was starving for it.
I would have turned my back on all those I loved.
I would have begged. Begged for your love so I could have enough to be perfect for you.
You have no idea how much I have had to do to rehabilitate her - she's dead, finally, and happier for it. And I love her so much.
It’s like I've digested her in my body - like it was supposed to happen, to have her happy to be integrated in me like this - like this was the only way she could ever be free from the trauma of her own making.
I am so sorry - I say to her and never to you again.
For you, now, I feel so much sympathy. I should have left earlier. You wouldn't even recognize me now - how much I don’t put up with anymore. You would be proud of me, and I would unilaterally reject you and not look back.
#i talked about them a lot today since my friend is going through something similar#and fuck#it feels joyous and bittersweet to watch everything crumble#I am so much better#even if I get triggered and cry at the end of a long day#I validate all this for myself#I am learning how to love myself#it doesn't even feel like real anymore#my life is way more real now#healing#neurodivergence#trauma#self love#love#queer#prose#heartbreak#memories#ptsd#toxic#trauma bond
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Biting a pillow is not helping.
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i’m actually having a breakdown in my living room
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