#and EVERY ONLINE DICTIONARY DOES THIS

[gunpowder-gemini]

browsing an online dictionary (don't worry about it) and why are there acronyms and phrases in the fucking dictionary???? the dictionary is for WORDS

like if I scroll through the "S" pages

why the FUCK is SEATO in there that's not a WORD it's an acronym define those elsewhere??? I'm looking for words???? WHY IS BY THE SEAT OF THE PANTS THERE THAT'S A FUCKING SENTENCE??????

And straight up MOST sections I've clicked through are just OVERWHELMINGLY acronyms, phrases, places, sayings etc. like why the fuck are those THERE the dictionary is for FUCKING WORDS

[itwoodbeprefect]

i love websites that contain text-based information

[martiandmichelle]

First let me explain this condition that I (and others!) can find ourselves in called "Sexually Blissed Out" or SBO. The definition of blissed out is given perfectly at the online Urban Dictionary which is:

a trance-like happiness, euphoric almost can be sexual, overwhelmed with stimulation leading this trance-like state of being so aroused and blissful.

So I am going to give you the top 5 things that can make me SBO or at least come close to it. SBO doesn't happen a lot but when it does, WOW! I go limp and just let it happend, usually having squirting orgasm after squirting orgasm, my nipples becoming powerful milk fountains.

So here are 5 things that can get me to SBO listed from least likely (5) to most likely (1).

(5) Cum drinking. I'm not talking just about swallowing a guy's or even guys' loads (though doing that as well helps), I'm talking about drinking glasses of cum, chugging them down. The overwhelming taste and wonderful scent of the cum fills all of me and just takes me places and one of them is close to falling into a wonderful SBO. It takes several glasses, e.g., a LOT of cum to get me to SBO.

(4) Tit fucking. That might surprise you, maybe? It's a fantastic way for your greatest sex gift (your hard cock) and what, in my mind anyway, is my greatest sex gift (my tits), to be together and the visual is just incredible. It will take a line of guys doing that to me and squirting their cum on my tits or on my face to get me to SBO, but, damn, it's fun getting there.

(3) Visual sex. I love this, especially when followed by other things on this list. This is usually a 1 on 1 act but it doesn't have to be. To just sit with someone and have them just stare at my body and don't even touch me. I especially love it if my partner or partners stay dressed and I'm nude and he/she/they just stare, with hardons or wet crotches. My breathing quickens and my head gets light and when I start arching my body out and putting my hands behind my head and spreading my legs - yeah, I'm almost to SBO. It just takes time.

(2) Nipple sucking. My experience is that women are better at this than men, some of that is because women tend to take longer when they do it and that I love how they start slowly then ramp it up. If I have one person on one tit and another on the second tit then SBO can come quickly and last for as long as the sucking does. It's almost as if I leave my body and watch from a third person position, just letting my tits enjoy it without me and my emotions getting in the way. Expect a LOT of milk and squirting orgasms when I get there.

(1) Throat fucking. (Obviously only guys can do this. Using dildos is not the same!) OK, I'm not talking blow jobs here. In throat fucking or face fucking (whichever term you choose or however long your dick is, both work), you're in control - TOTAL control. You must be serious about tit and give it your all. I can take it - really, I can (unless you have a cock with > 8 inch girth which won't fit down my throat). I trained myself long ago how to breathe with a cock in my throat so don't you dare take it out unless your changing positions and have to. And any and every position is wonderful. Don't dare stop and ask my if I'm alright - I'll let you know if something isn't working - or you'll ruin the mood. Destroy my mouth and throat as best you can and I'll love the experience ever more. This can be with just one guy (if you can last a long time or can keep going after cumming which means not get too soft). If you want to see me in deep, limp SBO then bring some of your buddies with you so you can go for hours. Rope and handcuffs are welcome, even enjoyed. Just plan to spend hours at it so I can empty all my milk and pussy juices.

Some honorable mentions would be gang bangs (the bigger the better and me in the middle), cowgirl fucking, blow jobs (giving), and drinking my own milk and/or squirt as long as I have friends to share it with. Taking someone's virginity is also amazing as is sex with someone for the first time. I'll round at the top 10 in that I find age differences to be very hot! That, of course, means I'm the older one so having a guy or gal (or, preferably, guys or gals) 40+ or better yet 50+ years younger than me is awesome. (No, no one under 18!)

(These things can change around in order. Had I written this 6 months ago I would have put having my nipples sucked first!)

I'm telling you this now because I'm writing something for you where a number of these come into play. I'm pretty deep into it already so hopefully you'll be able to read it soon.

Marti

[bookmarksandbonfires]

All of this talk about @taylorswift's new album is really just proving to me that people have no idea what poetry is??? Like every time I see a post online someone's put in the comments "wow how poetic touch me while your boys play grand theft auto" or "that metaphor is so obvious how can you say her lyrics are poetry" or whatever and like I get it. The Poetry you had to read in high school felt Incomprehensible and you were Bad At Analyzing It. I felt that way too, and I got a degree in literature.

But "Incomprehensible" is not in the definition of poetry. It doesn't need to be endlessly complex with allusions and metaphors you'll never be able to unravel. The Google definition (from the Oxford dictionary) is:

All poetry has to do is be words that express meaning and have rhythm. (That's basically all songs.) There's nothing in the definition about how you should be unable to parse all the meanings behind it. If you hear a collection of words that make you feel something, that's poetry. It just is.

Or, to quote Wordsworth, poetry is "the spontaneous overflow of powerful feelings," which he believed should be written in plain language, and since there's a heavy Gothic/Romantic strain in Tortured Poets Department, I think it's reasonable we should default to a definition from that school of thought.

Poetry does not have to be incomprehensible to be meaningful. You can feel something because of the specific words in their specific arrangements, or the literary devices utilized, or even just the rhythm in which they are spoken. It doesn't have to have you getting out a dictionary or diagramming the sentences or spending hours trying to guess what the author really means. It can just make you feel.

I don't know if Taylor Swift is the greatest poet of our generation or whatever. But to say her songs aren't poetry because you think you understand them is belittling and reducing poetry to something it never has been.

[scarletlilyy]

Topic of Today: Pretentious feminism online and the slow development into internalized misogyny.

Popular terms/ideologies in Girl world I feel contributes to this!

1. Girl dinner

2. “I'm just a girl”

3. Girl Math

4. Pick me

5. Girls Girl

1. Girl Dinner: As defined by urban dictionary GIRL DINNER is a tik tok trend where girls eat random food which is comforting and or is a childhood food. Basically a combo of some random foods. Like every other trend it started off pretty innocent until it was repackaged as a means of promoting eating disorders. Extremely low cal food that lacks every bit of nutrition is romanticized with a cute pink bow.

2. "I'm just a girl": The phrase “I'm just a girl” was kind of a spin to “let boys be boys”, something we've all commonly heard in the past when a young man does something stupid but is still excused for it. I watched this video essay by Alisha not Alisha and in the comments someone quotes "You're not "healing your inner child" - you're regressing into ignorance.” and that's exactly how I feel about this trend.

"I'm just a girl" should be a fun quote to piss off men who hate traditionally feminine things, not a hoax to justify your shitty behaviour.

3. Girl Math: The third one has to be my least favorite, especially as someone who loves math. It just reinforces the whole dumb blonde ideology, infantilizes women and justifies bad financial decisions/overconsumption. The whole overconsumption issue is probably one of women's bigger issues. Like I saw multiple videos of where girls tried to use girl math to justify the ridiculous amounts they spend MONTHLY on clothes.

Yeah, let's not....

Trends like these easily turn into a marketing ploy for brands and we just end up spending money on useless shit cus the caught ur short ass attention span lmao.

4. Pick me: I feel like the term pick me became popular around the pandemic (I might just be too young lmao), so I'm just gonna start around there. At first it was to actually call out women who were in fact pick mes. A pick me is a girl who brings down other girls for male validation btw.

It's as simple as that.

It's not a girl who has different interests from other girls and a lot of people have failed to understand that. The entire point is not that pick me's have different interests from other girls, it's that they weaponize their "different" interests to gain attention from the opposite gender. So no, a girl who isn't so feminine or doesn't practice stereotypical feminine things isn't a pick me, neither is she trying to be "different".

The word has been really thrown around and 60% of the time it's just cus the accuser doesn't like the accused.

5. Girls Girl: A girls girl is the opposite of a pick me, a girl who supports other girls. But guess what my support is very much conditional!

Girls are humans.

Humans suck, they are capable of being bad ppl and making bad decisions. Aside from the basic support like providing menstrual products when In need or defending each other from misogyny, my support is conditional. That was originally the intention of the whole girls girl thing, understanding female struggles and supporting each other in those aspects.

Not dick riding each other and giving our unconditional love to people who don't deserve it. It has turned into a thing where women are immune to criticism from other women. And anytime a woman calls out another woman for something genuinely bad they aren't a “girls girl” or they are “hating like a man” .

Women, just like men aren't immune to criticism.

Overall, all these trends always start with the innocent intentions of enabling women to enjoy themselves. They slowly develop into toxic trends that do absolutely nothing for the feminists movement and allow for internalized misogyny. Trends like this will forever pop up, let us be careful with the media we consume. I'm talking about it because I've seen it in real life and it affects how women and especially young girls coexist with one another.

That's it,

Au Revoir.

[spanishskulduggery]

Do you have recommendations for beginner level resources?

Study Spanish is always my go-to recommendation for people who are just beginning

It goes from the basics of the basic to some fairly advanced concepts regarding the subjunctive and future/conditional, and mentions large portions of the overall grammar concepts

-

Secondly, my next suggestion is Conjuguemos

If you're a beginner my recommendation is to check out their section on the Tenses and Moods before anything

This is a good resource to have when you're going through any online activities or any homework you might have if you're taking classes since it has conjugation rules

And you can keep that tab open while you do their section on verbs which can help you practice conjugation skills, or you can head over to their grammar section

And right in that whole section you can see they have a vocabulary section which I have personally been using to help organize my thoughts for vocab lists

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Another favorite resource for me is WordReference which is my favorite dictionary. I use it A LOT. Practically any time someone asks me a question I find myself checking the WordReference forums because in addition to helping you with words and looking things up, they have a forum where if you have grammar questions you can ask them - in my case, I find myself looking here first when I come across a phrase I don't understand or a word I'm not sure is regional

Additionally WordReference has a conjugation generator which is really helpful for looking at the complete chart of conjugations for verbs, especially the irregular verbs. And what I love about it is that I can also include the reflexive -se endings which helps more than you know especially later on

-

My other favorites are Linguee which helps me see translations and context for certain words or phrases, Spanishdict which does the same thing just more informal than Linguee (and also includes sections on grammar and vocabulary)

And a newer favorite is Forvo which lets you hear people say and pronounce words/phrases and names. This is really helpful for practicing your pronunciation and speaking, especially if you're not doing in-person learning and it helps get you used to hearing different accents in Spanish and also includes basic phrases that might be useful for you right on the main page

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Past that, I really enjoy youtube channels that teach or talk about Spanish like Butterfly Spanish or Practiquemos and it's great for learning and listening practice, almost like you're in a Spanish class listening to the teacher. It's been very helpful to listen to Spanish-speakers, teachers, gamers etc since I graduated when I wasn't always hearing Spanish every day in my daily life

And as far as free apps, Duolingo is certainly the standard; it's especially been more useful since they added a forum feature and you can see native speakers and people talking about or reacting to specific prompts or questions, giving you context that you might not always know and sometimes people give you other options or mention other phrases or ways to say something

...I should also mention that these sources I mentioned are predominately what some might call castellano which is "Spanish", but it's official Spanish with the rules and standardized everything. There are many cases where native speakers will use other phrases or use language "incorrectly" in common everyday Spanish and that's much harder to learn because it's not standard and regularly seen and a lot of it is regional. I wouldn't worry TOO much about it if you're a beginner - all of the conjugation rules are pretty much universal, it's just vocabulary and the way some people phrase things that tends to be regional. Your more standardized and sometimes a little formal castellano will get you very far, and learning slang and regional Spanish is something that comes over time especially if you're planning on studying/working abroad or you're in regular contact with native speakers

[dailydemonspotlight]

It might be cool to see dullahan for pride month. I don't think any original stories about dullahan are particularly queer but her depiction SMTIV is something I think about a lot. Taking a red pill and changing gender is definitely a more accurate interpretation of the matrix than other times people talk about the red pill at least lol

Dullahan - Day 49 (Request)

Race: Haunt

Alignment: Neutral-Neutral

June 6th, 2024

Yeah, shoutout to the random NPC in SMT IV who eats a red and instantly transes their gender. A true icon. Today's Demon of the Day is a very common fixture of medieval fantasy, however, and not just a bit of someone's true identity- the headless knight of no renown, Dullahan. Headless Horsemen are a common sight in many tales spanning Europe, the subjects of many a legend or fairy tale, but each of these halloween fables can trace their roots all the way back to Celtic myth, in the form of this unseelie fairie... or so some think. In truth, the origins of the Dullahan are unclear and murky, much like the foggy skies it mingles within, so let's dig in!

Ireland is no stranger to weird fairy tales- as the place where the term fairy originated from, Celtic myth is filled with tales upon tales of weird, loveable goons that paint stranger and stranger pictures of the times each time one thinks about them. Whether it be the oh-so-elusive Cat-Síth or the inanely wailing Banshee, Celtic folktales are filled to the brim with creatures at the forefront of each and every story... which is what makes the Dullahan so bizarre. While the concept of a headless horse-riding knight isn't too out there, especially in comparison to some other fairies (looking at you, Pooka), very few primary sources actually attest to the existence of the Dullahan, whether it be by name or concept alike.

However, in spite of this, we do have a few historical accounts- this makes the Dullahan's existence frustratingly vague, to say the least, as it's impossible to say if it did or did not exist- either possibility is plausible, especially given that artwork depicting the Dullahan does exist, dating back to the 1800's. As according to Doris V. Sutherland, the earliest reference to the Dullahan can be found in 1802, within a text written by Charles Vallancey called "Prospectus of a Dictionary of the Language of the Aire Coti, or Ancient Irish, Compared with the Language of the Cuti, or Ancient Persians, with the Hindoostanee, the Arabic, and Chaldean Languages." Kind of a mouthful. Within the book, which is a compendium of all sorts of languages and drawn comparisons between them (among all sorts of other stuff, I'm too lazy to find a free copy of it online though lol), there is a segment in which Vallancey draws a comparison between the Irish Dullahan and an Arabian demon, the Wulahan.

"The Dullahan or Wullahan is a terrible bug-bear at this day; the peasants hear him in the night dragging a heavy chain through the villages and along the roads; this is the wulahan, or Satanas of the Arabs…"

As pointed out by Sutherland, though, the brief description given of only a few passages has no mention of it being headless. So why is it commonly seen as being headless? Skip ahead a few years and we get to a book by Thomas Cofton Croker going into the fairies of Irish folklore, and stories pertaining to them. Among the many fairies listed in this book, entitled "Fairy Legends and Traditions of the South of Ireland," we get to our second mention of the Dullahan! In one of five segments, a tale is given regarding a man named Larry Dodd who gets a random hitchhiker one day atop horseback- a mysterious woman whose every feature was covered by a cloak. She climbs aboard after he offers so, and they take off.

After a few moments of silent, uncomfortable riding, the woman exits suddenly to head to a nearby church. Smitten, Larry chases after the woman to try and pursue a thank-you kiss, but when he catches up with her... shock! Horror! She has no head! So that's where the idea of the Dullahan came from as being headless- and likely why the Dullahan in SMT is so feminine in appearance as well. After witnessing a dance of the Dullahans in the dead of night, he's decapitated... only to come to a few hours later, confused from the whole sordid affair.

This tale is only one of four, however- the general idea of Dullahans and the Headless Horsemen being synonymous actually came from this same book as well. A later story is, well, quite literally the fable of the Headless Horseman! From these tales, we can glean quite a few things- almost every account of the Dullahan comes from this book, with the name being spurned from the Prospectus and its offhand mentioning of the 'Irish Dullahan' as though it were common knowledge. I'm of two minds here, personally- for one, it's entirely possible that Croker, pardon my french, just made some shit up, basing his fables on pure speculation as to what the Dullahan name could mean by connecting it to the Arabian Wulahan. However, the other possibility, one that I personally subscribe to, is that the Dullahan was a part of the tapestry of Celtic folklore- it was just obscure.

The tales presented clearly speak of the Dullahan as though it were a preexisting concept, and the offhand mention of its existence in the Prospectus seems to give light to the idea that it did, indeed, exist in the cultural consciousness to some extent. Of course, this is all purely guesswork on my end- unless Croker digs himself out of his grave to answer my burning questions, I doubt I'll find an exact answer to this line of thinking- but I think it makes the most sense given what little information we have to work off of.

Now, in terms of representation in SMT... It sure is a headless knight. One aspect I really adore in this design, though, has to be the way the top of the head appears- the implication of the Dullahan being able to freely attach and detach its head like the joints on a Bionicle is hilarious, and gives a whole new line of depth to this already cool looking design. The silver, deep purple, and gold all combine to make the knight look regal, as though it was a stalwart protector of a kingdom under the king's right hand that had now fallen into disrepair. Somewhat fitting, given that it appears most prominently in SMT IV as a boss!

Lastly, though, I've gotta say I'm so glad we're almost to 50 posts. I didn't expect this series to last this long, and we've got a big, big one coming up for post 50, so I hope you're all excited! Happy Pride Month, and I need to say thanks for sticking with me, all this time.

[liberty-or-death]

Wei Wuxian's Name - The Meaning of Wuxian

C Fans think this is likely the poem behind his name. And after analysing this poem, I think this is also the inspiration behind his character. OMG MXTX YOU’RE A GENIUS 😍.

Before I start, please inform me if you want to use this meta. This analysis is solely mine in every shape and form. There is only 1 Chinese interpretation online and it’s done with Baidu’s MTL. And if I do allow you to use it, PLEASE link it back to me because there’s a very high chance that I will refine this. This is the only translation/meta that I’m particular about so please respect my wishes. 🙏

The term “Wuxian” comes from the Ming Dynasty poem “Living Alone 闲居” by the poet Xiu Ben 徐贲. Sadly, there isn’t much information about the context so I’ve tried to interpret this to the best that I can. There are so many aspects in mdzs/cql that are reflected in his poem.

谢事返丘壑，退耕理田园。

To retire to the hills, to return to farming and prepare the land.

谢事 - To retire and get rid of mundane things, or to die

丘壑 - Hills and ravines. A secluded place in the mountains. A metaphor for somewhere far away.

退耕 - To resign from government service and to return to farming OR to convert land that was used for farming back to other use.

兹心获遂初，稍得洒中悁。

His compassionate heart has attained his wish, and slowly loses itself to anxiety in wine.

兹心 - I think this is related to 慈悲心 which refers to the concept of Compassion in Mahayana Buddhisim. 慈 refers to giving others happiness.

遂初 - This means attained his wish. OR to leave a government post and return to seclusion

悁 - This refers to anger, anxiety and melancholy.

(T/N: 获 and 得 both means to gain, so the poet is emphasising what he has gained)

振策升崇巘，扬舲溯长川。

Whipping the horse (or urging) to ascend the lofty mountain, sailing against the river that never ends

振策 - This term also means to urge or to push someone forward

长川 - It either describes a river OR something that’s never ending.

(T/N: some websites use the word 巘 (mountain), but others use 褵 (a marriage veil). I don’t have enough info, so I’ve gone with the mountain translation.)

惊湍信汨汨，清溜自涓涓。

The water gurgles flows steadily and swiftly, the crystal clear water from the small stream trickled slowly naturally.

(T/N: 汨汨 and 涓涓 are both sounds of the water flowing. 汨汨 refers to gurgling, 涓涓 flows slowly)

新兰艳迟日，密竹曳丛烟。

The new orchid blooms in spring, the dense growth of bamboo gather as they sway like the mist.

迟日 - this could mean late, or spring

烟 - This likely refers to 烟云 (literally translated to mist and cloud), but it also refers to a hermit deep within a faraway mountain.

东馆朝燕坐，西林暮独还。

To meditate in the morning the temple in Chang an, to return from the temple alone at dusk

东馆 - This either refers to the Eastern Temple, or a temple nearby Chang an. The dictionary says it’s 豫中 ‘Yuzhong Temple’ (term was used specifically the Han Dynasty), but I can’t find which temple it is specifically. LOL

西林 - This term does refer to the Xilin temple on Mount Lu. But subsequently it was referred to temples in general. As this a more modern poetry (aka Ming Dynasty), I’ve opted to use ‘temple’ instead.

(T/N: there’s a dawn to dusk imagery in this line, from 朝 (morning) to 暮 (dusk))

朋旧固云旷，山水聊夤缘。

Old friends are resolute and vast as the clouds, and to sit beneath the mountain and rivers to chat about establishing connections.

云 - The imagery of ancient clouds in ancient poetry is uh, not exactly regarded as a good thing. It’s usually related to sadness, or something that’s fickle (ie. a cloud is fickle, it changes shape whenever it wants to, sometimes you see it, and sometimes you don’t.

夤缘 - this means to climb up, establish connections and building relationships)

(T/N: This whole line is interesting and filled with contradictions. 固 refers to something resolute, but 云旷 means vast as the clouds. Of which, clouds symbolise something that’s anything but resolute. And in the second part, 聊 usually refers to a causal chat or even gossip, but 夤缘 refers to using connections to climb higher.)

居喧暂云遣，习静久乃便。

the noise at where I'm at at has stopped for now, dissipating like the wind. And so, the quiet life has persisted for long time.

居 - there are various meanings to this. The most common meaning is to stay/current location so I’ve gone with that

便乃 - this means “hence” or “so”

已幸驻灵药，复能讽瑶编。

It’s already lucky that the magical drug has rooted itself here, and I can memorise the precious books repeatedly

驻 - This is a very interesting word because it’s usually used to mean to garrison or to come to a standstill. It isn’t usually

复 - Repeatedly

讽 - This word usually means to or to mock. But I think it’s used as 讽书 in this case, which is to memorise.

既无羡鱼志，外物非所迁。Even if there isn’t any wishful thinking, the things outside are inhospitable and ever changing

无 - This means no.

羡鱼 - Wishful thinking. This is where Wei Wuxian’s name comes from (MXTX uses 无羡 instead of 羡鱼). This term comes from the idiom “临渊羡鱼，不如退而结网” which literally means, “instead of standing by the water to dream about catching fish, you should go home to make a net to actually catch a fish.” (ie. instead of being envious about another person’s achievements, we should put in the effort) So yes, Wei Wuxian does mean “do not (无) think wishfully and covert over the achievement of others” (羡)

非所 - Inhospitable, where someone cannot live normally

迁 - this means ever changing.

MY ANALYSIS

SO I HAVE SO MUCH FEELS. I believe that MXTX based some parts of Wei Wuxian’s behaviour according to this poem. Allow me to do a line by line analysis.

1st line: “To retire to the hills, to return to farming and prepare the land” - is this why our boy has such a fascination with retiring from his “post” and returning to the simple life? It’s interesting that the terms in this poem repeatedly emphasises on ‘retiring from government.” You could say that wwx’s life, starting from the time that he was a Jiang Clan disciple, and to being a soldier was a form of a post. So the author sets up the stage of what he thinks to “retire” is. And the “hills and the mountains” suggest a secluded far away. IDK about you but it screamed Cloud Recesses to me.

2nd line: “His compassionate heart has attained his wish,” - AGAIN I could scream about this. I feel that Wei Wuxian does embody the concept of “慈悲” in the simple sense of the word. “慈” as in compassionate. He brings joy to people around him and cares for others around him. 悲 as in sadness; he feels the suffering around him and hence he tries to deliver people from it. This is obviously demonstrated when he tries to save the Wen Clan. This line also emphasises that retiring away from all things political is what he wants. And the second part “slowly loses itself to anxiety in wine”, sadly he does this ever so frequently in the novel and almost amplified in CQL.

Line 3 and 4: “Whipping the horse (a metaphor for quickly, almost urgently) to ascend the lofty mountain, sailing against the river that never ends” “The water gurgles flows steadily and swiftly, the crystal clear water from the small stream trickled slowly naturally.” - in Line 3, the first part “ascending the lofty mountain, almost urgently so” reminds me of how he attained his ghost cultivation so quickly over a span of 3 months. And “sailing against the river that never ends” sounds very much like how he was always moving against the criticism of the masses in his first and second life. The lines about the water gurgling and trickling feels that the tide was always against him, be it swiftly or in small trickles.”

Line 5: “The new orchid blooms in spring, the dense growth of bamboo gather as they sway in the mist.” - the imagery of the orchid sounds a shoutout to Jinling. And the dense bamboo dusting in the mist reminds me of the parts where they were in the cold pond. I’m not sure if the CQL directors were equally inspired by this. (I can’t remember if there were bamboos in Cloud Recesses novel wise. 😂😂)

Line 6: “To meditate in the morning the temple in Chang an, to return from the temple alone at dusk” - HMM I don’t have a clear inspiration for this line unfortunately. But it could be a reference to the days spend in Cloud Recesses. The Lan 蓝 was a Buddhism references so it totally fit the bill. (I’ve mentioned it before in Taming Wangxian but if you can’t remember it, well that’s okay, I am to bring it back here eventually)

Line 7: “Old friends are resolute and vast as the clouds, and to sit beneath the mountain and rivers to chat about establishing connections.” - again the comparison of friends with clouds. It does suggest that he has a lot of friends; friends who are as fickle as clouds who aren’t there when the time calls for it. And as for the ones who are “resolute”… well we know who they are. And as for “establishing connections”, this is a common theme in the novel. It actually reminded me of JGY, who was essentially trying to curry favour to promote himself politically.

Line 8-9: “the noise at where I am at has stopped for now, dissipating like the wind. And so, the quiet life has persisted for long time.” “It’s already lucky that the magical drug has rooted itself here, and I can memorise the precious books repeatedly” lmao does the magic drug refer to the incense burner haha 😂😂 the vibe of the last two lines remind me of the end of the novel, whereby the “noise” of society has faded and he’s back to the quiet life. And as for the books that he can read, I’m guessing that’s probably referring to the Lan Family’s library

Line 10: “Even if there isn’t any wishful thinking, the things outside are inhospitable and ever changing” this is WWX and the moral of the story I guess?

(There were about 60 different references and I'm too lazy to link them all lol. They were mostly dictionary links or other poems that used the words in a similar manner. If you want a reference for a particular phrase, please let me know. XD)

In case you missed it, I’ve also analysed Wei Ying previously.

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Meaning of Wei Ying

[anjelicawrites]

The unexpected paramour

Paring: modern!Aemond Targaryen x reader

Synopsis: you love Aemond Targaryen and he loves you. You suspect your cat loves him more.

Warnings: none. High Valyrian curtesy of some online dictionary

When you started dating Aemond you knew you'd have many women try to steal him from yourself. You also know Aemond is blissfully unaware of the effect he has on women, and men as well. 

For the longest time Aemond had thought you two were just friends and had stared at you with his pretty lilac eye wide open when you confessed to him and trembled on the inside waiting for his answer

"I love you too - he had said and you had let go of the breath you were holding - I just didn't think you could be interested in me that way". 

In that moment you could have either opened the can of worms that was how Aemond perceived himself, or you could unpack that later; you choose the second option

"May I kiss you?" You had said already on your tippy toes

"You may" he had half smiled, reaching for you. 

You'd never think the danger would be your asshole cat Saffron. 

You and Aemond have had countless dates, slept at his place, helped him redecorate a little and did all the silly things couples in love usually do. 

But he had never set foot in your home. Not that you have some dirty secret there, but you have a cat, the asshole known as Saffron. 

Saffron is the catest cat who had ever cated in the history of human-feline interaction. 

You had adopted her from one of those kill shelters after one of your friends had sent you the Facebook post with her story and your bleeding heart couldn't help itself. Yeah, the post explained clearly that Saffron didn't like human interaction and you thought it would be ok with you. Because of your job you worked odd hours and an overly cuddly cat would probably suffer from that, but you didn't expect Saffron to hide from you for the whole first year of adoption. You knew she was all right only because she ate, drank and did her business in the cat litter. After this first year she had decided that she could be seen and briefly petted for five minutes every day. She usually stared as you with contempt and looked positively disgusted when you had friends over. She would randomly accept Catisfactions but refused to be touched by them. If your friends had pets of their own, she would just hiss at them and stare with frank hate on her face. 

You tell Aemond all of this one day. You are just chilling on his new sofa you helped him choose and he just smiles at you. 

He states again that he doesn't mind: both of you work stressful jobs, requiring loads of your time, his place is closest not only to his workplace, but to your job as well, so your commute is actually shorter than your own apartment and he'd rather spent here whatever little spare time you have, than having to spend more time to get to where you live. But still, you feel like you're hiding something from him, even though you are not. It just feels weird that some of your stuff is at his place, but you have none of his. You’d very much like to wear one of his T-shirts when you are chilling on the sofa (Aemond doesn’t do hoodies, even at home, he does old t-shirts and comfy, fluffy cardigans). It feels like you are not really sharing your life with him. You know that it is all in your head and that he would tell you if he wasn't happy: his family lives and breathes lies, he wants none of that between the two of you, he'd rather talk it out, no matter how bad the problem. 

Aemond smiles genuinely when you tell him all of this and is ready to start on a rant when you say you don't know how Saffron would react to someone who owns a dragon

"One cannot own a dragon" he chastises you tapping one of his long fingers on your nose

"Aemond Targaryen you know what I mean!" 

You love that he is always sharp and accurate in everything he does, but he is beside the point now

"I know you do - he raises his hands in mock surrender - you think she would attack me?"

"I don't know - your shoulders slump in defeat - no one knows what her life had been before the shelter. I wouldn't say she was used to other animals, but I am positive she knew what dogs and cats are. But dragons?" You bury your face in your hands

"Hey vēzos, none of that - he delicately removes your hands away - it is of no use to worry now. We'll try and see what happens" 

''What if she hates you?"

"I'll live with that, as long as you love me". 

Your heart flutters at his words. Aemond rarely talks about his feelings, he'd rather show you how much he cares. For him to say it out loud, it means he understands how important this is for you; for all his issues and the problematic family he has, he is a walking green flag. 

The night he finally arrives at your apartment your hands are shaking a little. It is your day off and you have tried to maintain your usual routine, so that Saffron wouldn't notice that something is brewing. 

The only difference in your shared routine, is that you have been using one of those cat hormone thingies you can pop in a socket since the week prior. You are not sure if they really work, but they wouldn't do any harm either, since Saffron seems to be her usually bitchy self and she is staring at you from her perch, when Aemond knocks on your door. 

You try not to run to open it, but you know you are moving hurriedly while Saffron eyes you with contempt

"Vēzos" he smiles and is one of those reserved only to you 

"Come in! - you gesture around yourself - make yourself home!"

You hear the rustling of his jacket and the soft thud of his booths as he removes them. You ask him about his day while you are finishing dinner. You start rambling, moving pans and pots around while Aemond tells you about his day. He is chatting while he is making himself comfortable, when he stops talking abruptly

"Vēzos, I think you should come here"

You find him sitting on the sofa, Saffron on his lap, aggressively purring and making biscuits against his abdomen. Aemond has both his hands in the air and is staring at you with surprise

"What do I do now?" He doesn't sound scared but positively insecure

"I am not sure. This is not what I would have expected". 

And so begins the love story between your boyfriend and your cat, whose only aim now is to make you feel like you are the third wheel in your own relationship. 

Every single time Aemond is at your place, you cannot scuttle close to him, because Saffron is there, purring and staring at you with a challenging stare, from his lap. You and Aemond cannot try to be intimate, because Saffron will come between the two of you and try to push off the bed. When Aemond is not around, she stares at you with even more contempt than usual. The times you have to Skype when he is away for work, she is constantly in front of the pc, her ass up in the air while she meows pitifully. Aemond, obviously, spurs her on. He only has eyes for her, buys her treats and toys, is constantly petting her and tells you not to scold her.

"I thought you'd be happy that she likes me" Aemond tells you one night almost snickering 

You are curled up against his chest while outside a storm rages. 

"Don't even start. It's not funny"

"Are you jealous of your own cat?" He feigns surprise

"I might be - you pout - I saved her from that awful shelter, I am the one who feeds her, cleans her litter and she makes biscuits on your tummy!"

"It kinda hurts when she does that" he tries to reign in his mirth

"Well, she can be the one making you lasagna next time" you say trying to disentangle your limbs from his, but he is too fast and you find yourself under his weight

"I can convince you to change your mind - his lilac eye glints mischievously - do you want to be convinced?"

You pretend to try and get away, which causes Aemond to start tickling you, while waxing poetic about your cooking skills. 

You suspect all his neighbors have heard your laugh. 

[cinnamonest]

Extremely important modern AU information:

Jokes about No Nut November, once casually tried but caved on November 8th, 12th, and 15th respectively (no he's not weak it's just not worth it!! What's the point? It's not healthy to go that long without it!), the only individuals here who attempt it in a sane manner really: Gorou, Bennett, Thoma

"Haha yeah I've heard of that haha" (Would literally rather die): Kaeya

Claims to have done it. Did not actually do it. Came every single day even: Venti

Stick in the mud, straight faced as he says that is the stupidest thing he has heard in his entire life, probably jerks off on the spot out of spite: Diluc, Cyno

Also says that is the stupidest thing he has heard in his entire life, secretly curious as to whether or not he could do it... casually decides to attempt. Makes it about halfway through the month. Somewhat disappointed with himself.: Tighnari

Decided to do it to test himself, takes it very seriously, manages to persevere due to 1) being already well-versed in self control and 2) avoiding potential mania triggers like the plague: Chongyun

Decided to do it to test himself, takes it very seriously, manages to persevere solely by focusing on the promise of Destroy Dick December: Heizou

Decided to do it to test himself, takes it very seriously, caves on November 3rd because a leftover Halloween decoration he passed by walking home depicted a witch with massive tiddies, wallows in disappointment face-down on his bed for an hour: Kazuha

Thinks it would be easy so he actually commits, more as a joke than anything. Quickly realizes it is in fact not easy. Bothered because??? Is he really this weak?? No, he's just psyching himself out. He can do it. Easily.... Caves on November 20th and 25th respectively. Very disappointed. At least he tried.: Xingqiu, Ayato

Has never heard of No Nut November before, sees it once online, Googles it and gets the urban dictionary definition, still has to ask someone to understand, very confused, 'is this really what the youths are doing these days' etc, would never even consider it: Zhongli

Takes it as seriously as a matter of life or death. Hypes up a week beforehand. Unironically posts about it. Does it as a joint effort with the Bros™ who act as an accountability check for each other. They overdramatize every moment like they're enduring the worst pain ever known to man. Works out as a means of distracting himself. Unironically gets a phone call at 3 am from a fellow bro claiming he's facing temptations and stays up for several hours pep talking the guy through it as if he's trying to convince him not to commit a crime. Actually manages to do it. They have a group celebration as if they just went through some major life accomplishment. Cums enough on Dec 1st to fill a mason jar: Itto

"See, technically, it only applies to masturbatory orgasms. Intercourse-induced orgasms are not included in the prohibition. Therefore -- no I'm not in a relationship, but this is hypothetical -- therefore, they don't count as -- oh that thudding sound? Ignore that, that's a dog and definitely not a live human person in my basement -- anyway, it doesn't count as--": Albedo

Has already subscribed to his egirl's "Nonstop Nut November" private video Onlyfans collection, tells himself it can't go to waste: Xiao

Makes a big deal out of No Nut November. Posts about it several days beforehand. Posts are half ironic and half unironic because he genuinely attempts it. Gets himself psyched up for it. Cums like seven times on October 31st. Mutes all nsfw accounts across various socials. Hides the lotion and tissues. Curates all consumed media to avoid any semblance of ass and tiddies. Unironically prays for strength. Acts like he's going through the worst pain known to man. Fails November 2nd 1:47 p.m.: Childe

[uranium235s]

HIIII!!! once again so intrigued about your courier. if you wouldn't mind explaining the context in THIISSS post for your choices in symbolism i will totally devour it. :D

THANK U SO MUCH BELOVED MUTUAL I WILL ANSWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'll even include little close ups of the symbols in question. long post under the cut probably

CHESTER

1. COLOR - yellow/magenta/dark turquoise

tbh there's not much color symbolism put to thought for my color picks for chester or for arcade they are just colors I picked because I associate these pallettes with them which is CRAZY because i LOVE COLOR SYMBOLISM!! THE CURTAINS ARE ALWAYS BLUE FOR A REASON!!! but I will put depth to them anyhow

yellow, representing joy and optimism reflects chesters outward feelings towards his life and his circumstances. he's a realist in the sense that he knows that things will probably not go his way/he might die but I'd wager that's a pretty common thought process across the post-apocalyptic united states. however he approaches situations with the idea that he can make things better or easier, or resolve things peacefully or with as little conflict as possible, and maintains a positive and upbeat attitude as often as he can manage

magenta is representative of balance, kindness, compassion, which is pretty true to chester's character. he doesnt approach any situation with a mind of violence, and only resorts to it when left with no other choice or pushed into a hard place. he enters every encounter with the idea that other people are human too, even when they're human and evil. he tries very hard to see and understand everything eye-to-eye even when the scenario is way over his head, i.e. pretty much everything about the struggle for power over the dam.

turquoise, on the positive side, has a lot of similar symbology to the other two colors, but on the negative side can represent stress & high alert, which, I mean, come on... I fear there's no couriers out there in the wide world of fnv ocs that aren't constantly unyieldingly stressed out ... darker shades of colors usually have a dour effect to them, seeming unsaturated & devoid of spirit, which I think plays well with chesters mental state throughout the game (and at times after it), a bright and cheerful color that has been stripped of its spark, suddenly looks sadder and has less joyful connotations

2. FLORA - dill

wellll according to the flower dictionary, dill represents power against evil. I am for sure not on flower language & can't speak 100% to the accuracy of random flower almanac online but for the sake of this post let's say it's real. I don't think I need to go into meticulous detail about why dill fits chester so well hashtagindependentvegas, but I think it's more than just him killing "the bad guys" and more his dedication to helping the individuals living in these conditions. his highest faction relationships are with goodsprings, novac, freeside & the followers. yes chester ends up being very powerful in that way that he takes out the biggest heads, but the strongest weapon against oppression and fascism is the simple act of caring about and for other people ,which is what turns out to be what chester does most and loves best

3. FAUNA - cow

cows symbolize generosity and nurturing, but I think I've already covered things similar to that with the previous couple of things so I want to focus more on the cow as an image of butchery and sacrifice, and in contest to the Legion using the bull as it's token symbol. I think chester is frequently in a position in which people are trying to use him and kill him, getting him out of the way so that some aspect of what he has can be useful, or sending him to his death or into danger for personal gain. need I even mention old world blues and being literally hacked apart . also I've never mentioned chester has legion lore but he was owned by the legion for several years as a child and I think it's quite interesting if he's represented by a cow, a softer and arguably more toothless vision of the same creature (I am aware all bovines are quite big and strong but I'm talking about representations here <3)

4. OBJECT - screwdriver

while in the legion his primary job was repairing and cleaning weapons and technology, and he grew a real hatred for mechanical upkeep after escaping, letting his own property (weapons, furniture, etc) go to waste because he couldn't bring himself to diddle with things anymore. i think the screwdriver kind of represents the apprehension to grow and heal from his own past (as opposed to running away from it + changing himself to ignore it). it sounds kind of silly when I write it out but it's okay 🥹

5. SONG - Life During Wartime - Talking Heads

I actually don't know what to say about this one for real because explaining how I relate my characters to music is like trying to say what a color tastes like it's so hard because it's very much about feelings and lyrics and lyrical analysis is a whole other beast for me BUT this is my excuse to post the chester playlist ;)

6. FEELING - enduring

Chester is experiencing a near sisyphean struggle day in and day out but he still makes it to the end of the fucking game BABYYYY. chester knows that the struggle in the mojave will never be over and he loves it anyway, chester knows there will always be someone trying to hurt others and he keeps trying to prevent it anyway. he will always be doing something in the face of adversity and will keep going anyway. maybe a bad explanation but idk! he just doesn't give up! indomitable chester

ARCADE

1. COLOR - off-white/light yellow/blue

for off white I was thinking of white being representative of purity & innocence & off white being kind of an off-kilter interpretation. arcade had such strong ideals and wants such cut, clear good things for the people of the wasteland. I agree with what he wants very much but I think in action, some of the things you have to do to achieve them have more complicated outcomes than is let on in theory sometimes!!! you have to kill a LOT of people in this game!!!

fun fact yellow is also a color that represents intelligence + clarity, things I think arcade has in spades, obviously . I chose light yellow because I like it for him more, it's a gentler color and i think arcade is a more gentle person than he gets credit for (am not calling him weak or anything, just tactful & cautious)

as for blue , I think the obvious call is that it is symbolic of sadness and melancholy, but i also find I like that blue can represent stagnation and boredom and loneliness, all things I think arcade vocally struggles with before becoming involved in the escapades of the courier (in my case chester of course). I think the dialogue he has when you ask him about his research in the old Mormon fort does not spell the story of a person that is happy where they are at, talking about how the research is boring and fruitless, and apologizing for rambling to you because he never has an outlet for his thoughts. not being a people person, being "stuck" with his research because he doesn't want to interact with others despite being a for serious doctor. I'm clutching my chest I'm so distressed by him

2. FLORA - rosemary

chester and arcade with their herb symbology. aren't they so special. apparently rosemary is symbolic for remembrance! Arcade's story is deeply steeped in themes of memory and the past, I think it is only suitable that he would have something likewise for this. he grapples strongly with how lovingly he remembers his family vs. the reality of what they participated in. most of his pertinent ambient dialogue is him reminiscing on things from his childhood, old world technology and science, politics, writing and history. arcade, before his growth, is living both in the past of his own life, and other peoples

3. FAUNA - elephant

you know the old adage about elephants having excellent memory is actually true and not an exaggeration but since I've already said my piece about arcade and memory I will instead say that elephants are one of the most nurturing animals on the planet and travel in family herds ! Male elephants do break off from the herd after some years but female elephants will stay forever. I often think about how arcade lost his father at a young age and then had his mother and Daisy to turn to most of all. the maternity of it all wounds me!!!!

4. OBJECT - scizzors

i fear the symbolism as scizzors as a means to cut ties/cut free makes me sick when I think about encouraging arcade to grow and become his own person outside of the enclave + his fathers' shadows. also scizzors medical utensil, finish of stitches, open wounds , et cetera. I feel so silly with these surface level explanations of things that's my bad

5. SONG - Runs in the Family - The Roches

oooh you wanna listen sooo bad

6. FEELING - guilt

maybe a bit on the nose its in my opinion kind of that arcade feels like he has to make things up to the world based on his family's behavior... I think arcade does what he does for the right reasons of course but I also think it's so beautiful & telling that this guy is so passionate about knowledge, learning, and restoration, which are things the enclave had too, to some degree, but wants these things to be put to action in a way that aids and benefits the lowlifes that would've been put to death in an enclave-run mojave. poor drug addicts and land starved farmers, traders and prostitutes and more. the common person and all their flaws become just as worthy in arcades eyes than they would've been to others. I think there is a shadow of responsibility to be this better person hanging over his head that is made bolder by a genuine enthusiastic passion for medicine and research & an understanding of what would be actually useful to people in a world such as this. he wonders if this is what his father would've wanted him to be. I think I could've found a more apt word than guilt but to my defense I was at work when drawing this

[evidence-based-activism]

Can gou define "the patriarchy" in 2024?

Every time I ask this I get wildly different answers, even contradicting each other. To me that's an indication people just mold it into what suits them.

Honestly just sounds like capitalism to me.

The definition of “patriarchy” from the online Merriam-Webster dictionary:

social organization marked by the supremacy of the father in the clan or family, the legal dependence of wives and children, and the reckoning of descent and inheritance in the male line broadly : control by men of a disproportionately large share of power

a society or institution organized according to the principles or practices of patriarchy

In practice, what does this mean?

In a patriarchy you see — to varying extents — the various types of power (i.e., social, political, economic, etc.) disproportionally afforded to men.

For example, as of 2023, the US census bureau estimates 50.4% of the US population is female. Accordingly, if power was proportionally allocated to men and women in the US, we would expect about half of the various positions to be filled with women.

However, in 2023 according to the Pew Research Center, women occupied only:

25% of the US senate

29% of the US House

33% of the US state legislators

24% of the US governors

11% of US Fortune 500 CEOs

30% of US Fortune 500 board members

33% of US college and university presidents

0% of all US presidents in history

All of these are well below parity and also represent only a small portion of all the positions of power in which there is a disparity (consider: religious leaders, military officers, law enforcement officials, the highest paying occupations, etc.).

Of course, I could cite evidence of the patriarchy with many other examples ranging from: how men commit the vast majority of violent crimes (and also the majority of all total crimes), how almost all married women take their husbands last name, how almost all children of married couples take only the father’s name, how every major religion is male-centric (re: the “Father God”, importance placed on obeying the father/husband), various other culture (gender) norms, and more.

This also is specific to the US. Other countries vary in the specific statistics, but generally have similar (or even worse) patterns.

Why do answers to this question “contradict” each other?

I’d have to actually see/read the responses to answer that. My guess is that they’re all attempting to explain the same concept with varying degrees of success, which may appear contradictory as a result.

“Honestly just sounds like capitalism to me”:

I’m … not sure how you arrived at this conclusion. Capitalism certainly impacts and interacts with the patriarchy, but if it were purely capitalism the hierarchy and effects would be gender neutral. That is, you’d expect to see similar proportions of women and men at the “top” and “bottom” of the capitalist hierarchy, whereas right now the “top” is disproportionately made of men and the “bottom” is disproportionately made of women. In addition, the effects of your place in the hierarchy would be identical between the sexes, whereas in reality (some of) the effects are sex-dependent.

In addition, men have disproportionate amounts of power within their economic class as well. For example, wealthy women face intimate partner violence from their wealthy male partners significantly more often than wealthy men face violence from their wealthy female partners. Daughters of wealthy men face various problems that the sons of wealthy men don’t face.

Ultimately, capitalism and the patriarchy interact, but are different systems. Women face both inter- and intra-class sex discrimination; women also face sex discrimination in non-capitalist societies.

[benthelastskywalker]

Gaslighting by definition in any dictionary means literally convincing an individual or group that something that does take place is all in the imagination of the person/group who witnessed it. The word was coined directly from the Hitchcock film of the same name. In the situation of DisneyLucasfilm and Ben Solo, gaslighting is absolutely taking place. To deny it is to be a gaslighter as well. The Reylo/Ben side of the fandom scattered to the four corners and never recovered after TROS was released and Disney unleashed their wrath on Ben Solo supporters. The original Reylo/Ben fandom on Tumblr is long gone, and the fan artists who migrated to Twitter are among the only people left and they don’t even acknowledge that the fandom still exists on Tumblr due to their own self importance.

Even Adam said in various interviews that people deny exist but they are online for anyone to watch, that he hung up his Kylo costume and will not return. His red carpet interview from TRoS premiere was so successfully hidden by Disney that 99.9% of his fans don’t know he even has one. Unless someone is going to retcon Ben’s death and release the originally filmed version (what was shown in theaters and on dvd is actually reversed film for his final scene), there is no storyline that could possibly work to bring him back. The retcon of the franchise thanks to TROS erased all main points from as far back as The Phantom Menace. While there is a fan theory that he could be in the World Between Worlds, as was mentioned in the original storyboards and supplemental books, disenchanted angry people who left the fandom said that it isn’t possible for him to leave the World Between Worlds without Rey’a assistance when their precious Anakin can and did come and go at will with no consequences. If anyone brings up the possibility, they are ridiculed for not knowing anything about Ben or the Force or the Galaxy Far Far Away. And also that he is the most problematic character who deserved to die. Make it make sense. If Ben and Rey are the sacred Dyad that the movie and fans claim, then it is beyond disrespectful to treat Ben like literal feces under someone’s shoe because they think Anakin is superior. It only makes the fanboys win in the end.

I am one of people who believes in the WBW theory, but we'll just have to wait and see. Many actors have said they'd never return to roles, only to do just that. I hope Adam realizes that for every fan who hates Kylo/Ben there are much more who love the character and would love for him to return. I've seen several youtube videos saying that Ben's turn is the only thing that would save SW at this point and I agree. SW keeps revisiting the same areas in time over and over and it's starting to run thin. The only thing they haven't addressed yet is after TROS and a lot of fans have no interest in anything like that if Ben isn't in it.

[grimscripter]

The Scripter, Leo Grimm

Meet Leo Grimm, my MASHLE: Magic and Muscles OC!

This is all I have of him at the moment, I have a bunch of WIPs with him tho :)

Leo Grimm

17 (2nd year as of the beginning of the anime)

AMAB He/him

Double-liner

Autistic and OCD

5’7”/171cm

Wand is relatively basic with a lighter checker pattern

Personal/Family magic is Script Magic.

Secondth: Elite Dictionary

Summon: Bragi (Skaldic God of poetry in Norse mythology)

His “script” writes out in runic characters (hence the norse references)

Adopted by the Grimms in America at 13 years old

Moved to Japan to go to Easton.

Native English, fluent in Japanese, French, and Nordic Runes

Named after Leo Tostoy, a famous Russian author

Grimm is a reference/play on the word grimoire, which is a “book of spells” or “magic book”

Ash blonde short hair with darker ash-red streaks

Indigo eyes

Wears red eyeshadow/eyeliner occasionally but doesn’t put the effort in every day

Always wearing blue tassel earrings

Has moles scattered on his face and has two “conveniently placed moles” in the loops of his magic mark.

Has a really bad RBF and hates it sometimes, but it does get people to leave him alone when he needs it to. Otherwise, he forces his eyebrows to stay up so he looks more neutral rather than angry.

Generally laid back and calm to anyone he comes across, not in an egotistical way and not in a “i dont care” way. He’s just chill like that.

He is a bit of a sweetheart though, and tries to be kind as much as possible, but he loses his patience easily…

When with people he’s comfortable with, becomes a little shit

Somehow got roped in with Mash’s first-year crew.

Somewhat Idolizes Margarette Macaron and Rayne Ames

(OC) Fanbook stats:

Blood type: A

Dominant hand: Ambidextrous

Foot size: 26.5cm

Good subjects: Magic History, Divination

Bad subjects: Dark Magic

Hobbies: Doodling on his papers, listening to music

Favorite foods: Takoyaki and Salmon dishes

Favorite words: “Face the sun”

Favorite type of the opposite sex: "…no"

Dislikes: Lack of common sense, bugs

Frequently visited school spots: Library

E.g. of spending money: Vending Machine snacks, unnecessary online purchases

How to spend holidays: Sparring with friends, or going home to spar with his brothers and sisters.

I'll get into his backstory and world building later :)

[degloved]

i don't think some people, heterosexual or otherwise (depending on upbringing) are able to comprehend the hellworld that is internalized homophobia if they haven't personally experienced it, especially at a young age.

i'm not trying to create some kind of cool kids 'you don't get it' club, in fact i'm very happy for the percentage of us who aren't straight and have somehow managed to avoid this, be it thanks to loving/supportive parents or the positive reception of non-het orientations online or an unwavering conviction that there is nothing wrong with them (and there isn't!). however, i do find that the lack of this experience can result in a lack of understanding, and that lack of understanding can lead to… callousness at best, disrespect at worst.

it's a difficult thing to talk about, and i think i've retyped this sentence alone like fifty times, but i really think this is a discussion worth having, so here i go. i don't think there are words in any dictionary of any language in the world that i could string together and accurately portray the dread that settles over you, like the world's most fucked up weighed blanket, when you first start entertaining the thought you might be gay. following this, i don't think i could adequately describe the bone-deep, soul-crushing horror of finally admitting defeat—finally admitting that despite your best efforts, despite your sincerest wishes, you are gay. thinking about it now is surprisingly hard, even though it's been just about a decade for me (wow). i guess that sort of feeling—an amalgamation of fear, hatred, disgust, more fear, panic, anxiety, anger—never does leave you, only recedes. okay, what a curious thing to find out just now. but, right, back to the point. it is truly one of the worst things anyone could go through, i think, let alone a child, let alone for at least four-five years before reaching some degree of self-acceptance, let alone alone.

there is this specific memory i have, and i really wanted to talk about it. i was fourteen years old, just having come to terms with being a homosexual (for the three years prior, i'd clung to the bisexual label like a lifeline.) by that i don't mean i'd accepted it at all, i only mean that i'd realized i could no longer kid myself. and the realization had come to me during a run-of-the-mill school day, apropos of nothing. it might've hit me and clicked during math class for all i know. but what i do know, what i remember, is being driven home from school hours later, deep in thought in the back of my grandpa's car, staring out the window and giving myself a very particular mental pep talk: 'love isn't something you will get to experience in life, and that's okay. you need to come to terms with this. there's more to life than love & if you don't start seeing this, you'll be miserable for a long time. what do you need love for anyway? learn to live knowing it'll not come and you'll be fine.' paraphrased, but you get the gist of it. looking back to it, it makes me so… so sad. when i'd called myself bisexual, those three years, even in the fog of intense internalized homophobia, i hadn't given up on love. i'd had this thought in my head, i remember telling this to myself very clearly before tehnički class one october: 'you can still hide this part of you and fall in love with a boy.' yes, i was a dirty freak and an abomination of nature for being into girls, but at least there was the silver-lining of a possible heterosexual relationship. but at fourteen, with that pipe-dream gone, i was forced to face the inevitability of my loveless, miserable, lesbian life. about a month after this, i would try to take my life for the first time. thinking about this chain of events makes me feel feral with anger, for that scared little kid that was me, and for every other scared, suicidal gay little kid in the world.

a little over half a year later, i met my first girlfriend, and though that relationship crashed and burned and left me irrevocably changed as a person after its four-year lifespan, at the time it had shown me that i could be loved (because here i was, being loved) and that i wasn't a lost cause. and only when i felt that sort of love from another person had i been able to start unpacking the absolute mountains of self-hatred and internalized homophobia i had acquired over the years. at sixteen i'd started running a semi-popular lesbian positivity account, and through it i'd developed connections to other lesbians, which also strengthened this newfound belief that maybe i wasn't Something Bad—because, look, there are others like me. i'd also been in therapy for some time, and though my therapist wasn't the best in many ways, and was also a kinda tone-deaf straight woman, she did make me feel more normal when no other adult did.

and i guess what i'm getting at i'd only really started feeling comfortable in my own skin, in my lesbian identity/orientation, around seventeen. at least comfortable enough to say it with my full chest to my real life friends (although i could still only say gay, not lesbian.) so, from figuring out i liked girls at eleven, it took me six-ish years to be okay with it. six years of various degrees of utter inner agony about something i could not change. i don't think some people understand what that does to a person, a kid, a teen. i don't think some people can even begin to understand what it's like. you could listen to us, people like me, talk about this sort of thing for a hundred hours straight, and i don't think you could wrap your head around it even a little. a lot of people have it worse than me, too. a lot of people remain in agony for many more years than just six, well into adulthood. some people die like this. not a month ago, i found myself feeling intensely ashamed of my desires, apropos of nothing. brushing twenty-one years old, thinking i'd overcome this particular burden, it hit me like a train. still here, still lurking. a degree of self-hatred i apparently cannot unlearn. it's devastating. i wonder how long i'll keep carrying this, and i wonder if the answer is 'forever'. you know? i get the feeling, sometimes, that internalized homophobia is trivialized. or at least not at all taken half as seriously as it should be, reduced to being uncomfy with your gayness a little bit. it's so much more than that. i don't know. i feel like i went on several tangents here, on this absolute monster of a post, but i just wanted to get this off my chest. sorry for getting serious do you still think i'm hot

[knightzp]

Hi Miki!!! Was wondering how did you learn english? I'm gonna start working on spanish soon and I'm trying to think what would be best for how to get a basic knowledge of words and stuff because I don't know much

HII TIA!!! ohh in my case i learned a good part of my english just going to classes. english is like the compulsory second language in almost all schools here so i remember starting learning my very first words when i was just like. three years old lol. apart from the lessons i had every year at school my parents also made me attend a lot of extracurricular english classes growing up and i even went a couple of months during summer to the uk where i spent the time living with a family there and so i had no other option than to read and talk in english all the time and it helped a lot too

but ig this isnt very useful to you so thinking of something that can help you in an easier way and that has helped me a lot too was reading a lot and watching shows in english! i was always very lazy to start reading books in english ngl but when i started with fics i had no other option so i slowly began doing it and tbh it took me a while to get really used to it, bc even if i already had a good english level there were still words and expressions typically used in writing that i had never come around just yet. i was slow at first, looking words on the dictionary from time to time, but i really felt like it helped me lots to get better and it still does. and not only fics. unironically reading posts here on tumblr also helps a lot bc it makes me read in english every day and so i can easily maintain my level and even improve it. for the tv shows, i found that watching cartoons especifically helped me a lot since i hear the voices clearer than in other shows and even if you dont know that well the language i feel like this helps. ive done this not only with english but also with french, which im by no means as fluent as im with english but even if i didnt understand every single word i think it helped me quite a lot!

however its true that for what i said abt the reading and the tv shows you need at least some basic level on the language and since you said you dont know much.... mmmm i remember that back in school we used to read some thin books during english classes that were basically adaptations of other actual books (like one i remember was frankestein for example) but with simplified language and they were available for each level you had so something like that might help ! idk if it would be possible to find them online for free but i dont think itd be very expensive to buy one or two if you want to