today i love the red metal crane in her long neck arching her body over the boston skyline, which means i am okay for a moment. when i am unwell, everything is a little ugly. i always tell myself look for the beauty but when it is bad, i will look at birds and sunsets and little ducklings and feel absolutely nothing.
when my brother got his puppy, i was in a deep depression. what kind of monster isn't affected by a puppy. i was gentle and kind to her - i just didn't have an emotional reaction. she's five now and i feel like i spend all of our interactions apologizing to her - i don't know why. i just didn't feel anything. how embarrassing. i feel like if i admit that, i'll seem cruel and jaded. it comes in waves. like, two months ago when i went out into the world - it was like that. life behind a pane of stormglass. a firework could go off over your head - nothing. like dead skin, no reaction. not to ice cream or rainbows or baby chickens. life foggy and uninteresting.
i love goslings again. i love their little webbed feet splayed over grass. i love good food and live music and long walks. i like puppies. i feel like some kind of my soul has been starved - i keep staring at everything with wide eyes, trying to burrow the sensation into my stomach. it's real. beauty is real. when it's bad again, remember this. i stop and smell the flowers, feeling cliche in the moment. i like the white-to-red ombre of my neighbor's roses. i like colorcoding and yoga and cold drinks. i try to pass my hands over every moment, feeling like i'm squeezing joy out of every instant. remember this. for the love of god, it's real - just remember this.
Shoutout to my trans friendly but extremely autistic grandmother who refuses to use They/Them pronouns unless someone is plural because she's dead set against "they's" as a possessive term and "they was" as a past tense indicator of an action because it reminds her of the accent of a long dead and deeply beloathed coworker who picked up most of his accent from pittsburg. Notably she's fine with They/Them as long as someone is plural, and is entirely willing to refer to someone by name or with another term- IE "that person/creature/girlthing/nonbinary gremlin" upon request.
She's something else. Wrote out a check to my new name for my last birthday because "I don't know your clothing preferences or sizes, and if someone bought me an ill fitting blouse that I loved the look of, or a perfectly fit blouse I despise, I'd be quite put out, and you're set on everything else I know you like."
Notably she wrote it out to my new name, and even months later, I haven't even updated my name with the bank yet, as the speed of bureaucracy is abysmal, so I can't even cash it.
I have an idea that includes two person love square because identity shenanigans are always fun, but I have no idea what they should do, despite having fun dynamics between them, like:
"Of course they're dating" said Public Opinion about Miss Martian and Phantom, right after she broke his heart a bit by telling him she was in love with someone else (Megan's long distance best friend, Danny). Before this happened, Phantom was overly flirtatious to both Miss Martian and Megan, so she asked Danny what to do about "This one guy in my sports team" and his advice is to tell him to "Fuck off". She does exactly that, without quite understanding the weight of the word and Phantom is stunned into obedience (and he understands that no means no)
Anyway, I need help with actual... plot. Situations I put them through, because I'm determined to write it. They would be cute together imo.
This is an idea that comes from the Captain Marvel Fanclub Community but like… if you could take the gods or culture heroes from your culture, which would you choose to make your own Marvel-sona?
This comes from both the fact that there are currently multiple pantheons that were represented in the former Council of Wizards, and still are with Billy having his posse and Black Adam having Egyptian gods, but also from the fact that DC messed around in making the Wizard Shazam aboriginal but didn’t have any aboriginal gods or influences in Billy’s Captain Marvel.
I’d genuinely like to see what people can come up with! And since there aren’t many groups that can fill out a whole SHAZAM (in my own research into gods names to try and flesh out the Council) it would also be fun to see what quippy word people would use for their own champion ideas.
Some ideas I had before but never fleshed out were…
Kryptonian Champion; Some surveyor or traveler come across earth, fit the parameters of Pure of Heart and Strong in Spirit, and agree to save the world however it was needed at the moment as a fun adventure away from home before leaving for his planet again
Earth 3 Billy who is possessed by Lovecraftian gods and is a literal nightmare, there’s also a Sabbac Freddy and Bloody Mary monster idea to flesh out the three
The Japanese Wizard and their champions following the Shazacronym and having at least Susanoo and Amaterasu as patrons