#and - admittedly - I felt...guilt that I hadn't been there.

[to-elysium-and-beyond]

Where were you when the Hoard struck? Did you ever manage to find Sirius? If so, can you give us an update on his condition?

Me and the rest of the Alliance were on vacation!

We figured we deserved a little treat after dealing with all the stress of, you know, saving the world and having our domains be ravaged by the radioactive maws of that foul beast...

So we all went on a nice trip to the beach! (I love the beach, you know.)

This was, of course, after we got everything settled, and after Herbert managed to reclaim his sweet Holly. We invited Sackboy, too, but for one reason or another, they couldn't come. Either he was busy, or Larry just forgot to invite him - I'm not sure! I wasn't handling the invitations.

We, of course, realized the horrors that had occured once the valiant heroes came home...

I guess we were too cocky, thinking the danter was all dealt with so soon. Fixing the damage the Hoard made wasn't too bad though - just annoying.

As for where my funky brother from another mother Sirius was, well...it took me a bit to find him.

Being a robot, he had coordinates we could track, but they were all over the place! He kept popping up this way and that way on the radars...until, finally, I found him scattered and damaged in the Metropolis.

He had a few bits missing. We needed to get those replaced, and of course, deal with whatever data corruption that Wormhole caused.

He's fine now - just a little wonky. Though I really hope something like that doesn't happen again!

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if I tell a couple I'm a mistress for both of them?

this is a long one and a very weird situation but here we go. I (28F) have been seeing two people recently. I've been seeing C (30F) for a little over 5 months and M (29M) for almost 6 months. both relationships are currently in a state of non-commitment, even though I've expressed feelings in both relationships and theyve been reciprocated, but I'm naturally not a super commitment-focused person and both of the people I'm seeing have respected that a lot, so yeah.

anyways, both relationships have been great and I'm incredibly happy w them, and since neither are committed to me I've kind of just assumed that both C and M were likely seeing other people as well even if we haven't talked about it.

WELL. about a week ago C came over to my place to spend the night, which she does like once a week or every other week. she goes to take a shower and I start gathering laundry and grab her stuff to throw in with mine and take her phone out of her jeans. I glance at the screen and see a few texts from a contact called "my love <3"

I was kinda surprised by this because while not talking to me about casual relationships is not something I would care about, the contact name made me think she had a more serious relationship going on, which I don't mind but would like to be informed about.

soooo okay I did an admittedly asshole thing and read the text. and then read a few more. and it became apparent that this was a REALLY committed relationship. like, I love yous, I'll be back home soon, please remember to grab so and so from the grocery store, stuff like that.

the contact picture looked kind of familiar too so I clicked on it to see better and it ended up being a picture of M.

I kind of flipped at this bc this is kind of a ridiculous situation, and I left my apartment for some air. I came back like 30 minutes later and C was waiting for me and confused where I'd been (she didn't see/hear me leave since she was still in the shower).

I apologized to her for looking at her phone but told her that I saw the texts from her partner, and that I was feeling kind of hurt that she hadn't told me that she had a more serious relationship going on, since she knows I value transparency. I specifically did not mention that I was also dating M or knew who he was because I felt I needed to scope out the situation more.

she ended up breaking down in tears and spilled everything. told me that M is her husband, that he doesn't know she's been seeing me, that shes felt so conflicted and guilty because she loves him but has really grown to love me too, that she feels wrong and dirty for keeping everything secret. I'm upset that I've been made into a mistress without knowing, but I try to talk to her about everything, we end up staying up super late talking and crying and pouring our hearts out. I still don't mention that I'm dating M too because I feel like I need to talk to him about this before any big decisions are made on my part.

I ended up inviting M to stay at my place a few nights later, and I confront him about the fact that I know he has a wife (made up something about my friend seeing them out together) and ask why he's kept this from me. his reaction was really similar. guilt, not understanding why he's attracted to two people at once, saying he very deeply loves C and doesn't want to leave her but really loves me too, says he's confused and doesn't know what to do. I don't mention to him that I know C or that I'm dating her.

I asked him if he's heard of polyamory before, and he said yes but he doesn't know anything about it really. I ended up encouraging him to maybe talk to his wife to see if that's something she'd be interested in, but he was terrified that she'd be hurt by the suggestion.

I really do love both of them and don't want to leave them. I've been poly for a long time and am very familiar with navigating ethical non monogamy, and to me this feels a lot like two poly people struggling to come to terms with and accept a facet of their sexualities, and they're just navigating that confusion and self discovery in ways that are...not great. but, I want to give them grace for their mistakes I guess?

so this is the part where I think I might be the asshole if I go thru with it. I've talked with both C and M separately about talking to their spouse about what's been going on and about polyamory in general, and they're both fucking terrified and really don't want to. so, I was thinking of inviting them both to my place at the same time to hash it out (without telling them that the other person will be there, since they still don't know I'm dating both of them). I think once they realize they've been dating the same person things might be easier to navigate, and will force them to confront what's been going on?? but also idk if springing this on them is the best thing I could do, but I really have no idea how to navigate this differently.

to be frank, if they love each other and both love me, my ideal outcome is that we continue things as they have been but with no secrecy and 100% transparency. I'm also afraid that even though they've both been seeing the same person and have expressed interest in polyamory after talking about it with me, they might feel personally betrayed by each other and everything could backfire spectacularly, AND I could possibly explode their whole marriage.

so, WIBTA?

What are these acronyms?

[signedaiko]

Hi there! Could I request HCs of Optimus Prime, Prowl, and Ratchet (separately) from Transformers Animated with a Cybertronian![S/O] [Romantic] [Gender Neutral] who is an Autobot specialized in Special Operations?

Cybertronian![S/O] is a commander of their own Special Ops team back on Cybertron doing missions ranging from hostage rescues to combat. They tried to visit Earth with the Elite Guards whenever possible to see their respective partner(s) since they missed them.

They may be misunderstood as tough, scary, and dangerous at first glance, sometimes mistaken for a Decepticon before showing their Autobot insignia. Even mentioning their designation (name) sends shivers down anybot’s struts (backs).

In actuality, they’re kind, sweet, and less serious when off duty and can take a joke.

Optimus | Prowl | Ratchet [Animated]

In which their s/o is the commander of the Autobot's information operations and visits Earth to see them.

Reader is: Gender Neutral | Cybertronian | Autobot.

Optimus

Despite all his sucking up to the commander, Ultra Magnus, few knew Optimus looked up to more than just the one

He wasn't under your authority, but you were still a commander, and he was so utterly proud of you for amounting to something

He hadn't seen you since his touchdown on Earth, but you'd been checking on him far more frequently to make sure he was okay

Initially, he doesn't tell you about the cons and tells you it's just human villains because he knows you're busier than he could ever imagine and doesn't want you to worry even more

But you do find out through Ultra Magnus when it's reported, and it only takes a week before you can find an excuse to step away from your position to see him

Your arrival on a small, dark ship catches the attention of Bee and Sari during one of their excursions, and they both go running back to their team, claiming more Decepticons have arrived

When he does go to investigate, he's pleased to see you step from the ship, but your name coming from his mouth only seems to unnerve the others more

"Whoa! Prime, you know them???"

"More than know, actually. Everyone, meet my conjunx."

Jaws are dropping

Very quickly they get to learn your and Prime's history together, how you met in elite guard training, how he saved your life, how different you were than the rumors made you to seem

"Don't be fooled; they're very scary when they need to be."

Prowl

Prowl, like most things in his life, kept any mention of you to himself

After all, the others on his team liked to pry, and you were something precious to him; someone no one understood but him

Not only that, but he was worried if he brought you up, someone might try to contact you, and he knew that above all, your missions were at their peak, one after another

It didn't take anyone else, though; his own silence and lack of disclosure eventually led to you deciding to visit him yourself, which culminated in him literally waking up to the others screaming about a con at the base

He knew the very sound of your spark hum apart from any other noise and immediately told everyone else to calm down

Of course he's happy to see you, but he really wishes you wouldn't see him at such a low point

Stuck with a team of nobodies on a planet one hundredth the size of the one you protected

But you never cared about any of that; you were just happy to see your bot again, and beyond all the war stuff, he was happy to see you, too

He's very protective of you and doesn't let you spend too much time with the others because they're 'too annoying to deserve your attention'

Ratchet

Ever since the mission he carried out with you to save Arcee, he'd felt shame in comparing himself to you

Ratchet used to be on your team before you commanded it, but he eventually strayed into his current position while handling his guilt

Guilt or not, he admittedly hated that you'd taken up such an important position because it meant you had a bigger target on your back

Communicating with you poses a danger to you, so he's reluctant to send much your way and just accepts transmissions from you, which only Prime manages to find out about

Ratchet doesn't care if you're scary or not, if you're strong or not; he just wishes he could keep you from being known, keep you safe

Against all his wishes, you continue to be a more important link in the war effort, and you are the one protecting him in the relationship more than anything

Ratchet manages to keep your first few visits to Earth a secret, but it doesn't take much more for the others to meet you, especially after they had to help chase Lockdown off from trying to take you in

He doesn't have much of an ego, but he does like seeing the younger bots fawn over how cool his s/o is

And hearing them talk about how everyone fears you, well, it makes him feel just a bit more certain that you can protect yourself and that he shouldn't worry as much as he does

Author's Note - I have actually been rewatching all of Animated so, perfect timing! Blitzwing forever tho <3

[fleurriee]

— change in plans ; neteyam sully

pairing ; neteyam sully x fem!reader

synopsis ; you and neteyam had been mates for a short while now. when you start to feel ill, suspicion starts to cleave your mind, and you can’t help but worry about your mates reaction.

word count ; 2.4k

themes ; fluff, slight angst, established relationship (mates)

warnings ; mentions of being sick, worrying thoughts of not being a good enough mate, use of y/n

author’s note ; starting a dad!neteyam series bc this man is all i want in life and he’d be the perfect dad if he was only given the chance :(( screw u, james. lol this was originally going to be a drabble series but when i checked the wc for this & saw over 2k, i just thought fuck it. so, this series is gonna have a different wc every time 🤙🏻

next part

dad!neteyam series masterlist main masterlist request a fic!

Groggily opening your eyes, attempting to blink away the sleep that was still lingering there, you take a deep breath in, grumbling noiselessly to yourself. Fresh air and morning sunlight filtered in through the gaps until they surrounded your sleepy figure. You feel around on the bed next to you for the familiar presence that has been a comfort to you for around several months now. When your hands only come in contact with the bed mat beneath you, you turn your head in the same direction, heart sinking at the emptiness of the space.

You knew Neteyam was important to your clan — he was next in line for Olo’eykyan, after all — but sometimes you wished he wasn’t. Without the title weighing down heavily on his shoulders, you’d be able to spend a lot more time together, planning out your days and getting ready for your future. Instead, you awoke more often than not alone, your homely tent slowly start to turn isolated and desolate.

Of course, you’d never tell your mate of your thoughts — Neteyam was already guilt-ridden enough whenever he eventually made his way back into your arms after such a long and strenuous day, apologising profusely for not having spent enough time with you. In those times, you do nothing but comfort him, reassure him that you’re okay and that you understand.

But, that doesn’t mean it isn’t hard.

Stretching out your limbs to get some life back into them, you slowly start to climb up off the mat, looking around your hut for some breakfast. Your tent that you shared with your loving mate was a place you treasured deeply, one you considered to be your very own safe-haven. Not too long after your official mating with Neteyam, he had secretly been sneaking off whenever he had the spare time — which, admittedly, wasn't that often — to built a home for the two of you. Initially, you hadn't really thought of his disappearances that much, but when he started sending you sneaky glances out the corner of his eye, subtle smiles directed only at you, you began to get your suspicions.

He had taken you away from his family, covering your eyes and carefully walking you in a random direction, before revealing the surprise. Your heart had melted into a pool of warmth, surrounding you completely and utterly. You were a blubbering mess — whilst this was something you knew would be happening soon for the two of you, you were never expecting it to feel such a way for you.

It felt official.

Now, your home was filled to the brim with memories and personal memorabilia. Beads and feathers you had collected all your life that represented a different moment in your relationship; personalised weapons and clothes that you had made for one another during your courting ceremony, and one corner that smelt entirely of the two of you from where you sleep, where you come together as one soul each night and show one another how much your love means.

In another corner of the tent lies two baskets — one filled with fruit, and the other filled with meat. When you’d first mated with Neteyam, he had insisted on collecting all the foods the two of you would need for your home. You had found the offer loving, your heart fluttering in your chest as his desire to provide for you, but declined. You were to be mates, which meant you wanted to provide for him, too. So, after several long discussions, you’d compromised that Neteyam would hunt the meat, and you would forage the fruit.

It was a routine that worked quite well, taking note of the good amount of the ratio as you looked down in the baskets. Giving yourself a moment to contemplate what you wished to eat on that particular morning, moments away from reaching down and grabbing to your heart’s desire, a funny feeling started to tingle in your stomach.

Taking in another deep breath, you told yourself that it was nothing, that it would disappear, but it only seemed to grow worse. With one hand on your stomach, the other covering your mouth, you rushed over to the entrance of your tent, opening the flap and spewing up last night’s meal into the empty bucket outside.

You took a moment to breath afterwards, catching your breath and wiping your mouth with the back of your hand. You looked around at the clan surrounding you, wondering if anyone had taken notice of you — as far as you were aware, no one had. So, walking back inside your tent, you went over to the fresh water yourself and Neteyam kept stocked and washed your hands.

Looking back over at the basket of fruits and meats, you decided you’d skip that morning’s breakfast.

“And then what happened?”

You were out in the lush forests of Pandora, taking a walk with Kiri as she used even her spare to time to prepare for her healing work with her grandmother. The two of you walked side by side, the day’s sun basking down its warmth on your retreating figures.

When you’d originally met up with Kiri earlier that morning, you had expected her to be her usual self — bright and excited to explore more of what Ewya offered her children. Instead, you had been met with a much angrier version of your sister-in-law.

Before you’d even started walking together, she was reciting her own morning back to you. Apparently, Lo’ak had believed it to be funny to scare Kiri whilst her back was turned away from him, causing the paste she was making to jump out of her hands and become ruined.

You couldn’t help but stifle a giggle out her crazy morning antics.

“And, then,” Kiri started, grumbling at her situation as she bent down to pluck a small part of a plant away, placing it delicately into her pouch, “father grounded me.”

You turn your head towards her, furrowed eyes on display, showing off your confusion. “What? Why?”

As Kiri stood back up, her anger dissipated and a smirk played on her lips. “Because I punched him in the face.”

You couldn’t help the laugh that completely tumbled from your mouth, loud and clear as any other creature within the forests. Grabbing at your stomach in an attempt to cease the laughing, your sister beside you only making your enthusiasm worse by joining in and exclaiming that he had it coming!, you felt elated, until your happiness turned into queasiness.

There was a split second where you knew what was going to happen before it actually did, but you weren’t given enough time to react. Your only option was to bend low, throwing up once again, although this time you had no idea where the contents had come from, considering you hadn’t eaten since last night and had already thrown up earlier that morning.

Coughing and clutching at your stomach, you felt Kiri’s gentle hand against your back, smoothly rubbing your skin to calm you down. Once you felt that was everything, you stood back up straighter, head groggy and eyes glazed over — you had never felt more worse in your life.

“Oh, y/n, you look terrible!” she chastised you, her eyes moving fervently over your figure, shaking her head in disbelief that you had gone from one emotion to another so drastically. “Is this the first time it’s happened?”

Breathing deeply, you shake your head. “No,” you swallow, pulling a disgusted face at the taste lingering in your mouth, before running a hand over your face from the exhaustion of it all. “It happened this morning, too.”

“And, you haven’t been to see grandmother?” Kiri’s voice was slowly beginning to raise, her obvious annoyance at your stubbornness beginning to effect her clearly. “Come, I will take you to her now.”

Immediately, you tried to refuse. “No, Kiri, I’m fine—“

But, your sister was relentless, adamant. “I’m not taking no for an answer, not when you could be ill.”

As she starts to pull you arm back in the direction of home, you look back over your shoulder at where you had reluctantly left the mark of your presence. “But, what about—“

“I will clean it up later. Come.”

From the moment you had arrived in the Tsahik’s tent, skin becoming clammy, sweat beading along your forehead and dry heaving into your hand, you were sure she knew what was wrong with you.

The woman who was like your own grandmother had gestured you closer to her awaiting figure, moving forwards and leaving Kiri hovering worriedly by the entrance to the tent. Mo’at gently grabbed your chin, looking so intently at you, all you wanted was to cower away, but you stood your ground, knowing the woman would only get annoyed.

When she was satisfied with what she saw, she gently grasped at your arms, guiding you down onto the floor in front of her. You started to feel just slightly better when you were no longer standing, swaying and feeling like you were going to fall any second. Mo’at moved back over to her shelves that held an assortment of healing herbs and ailments for those in need, coming back to you. She moved behind you, prodded at your back gently and pressing her ears against your spine, before moving back around and doing the same to your stomach.

You looked over at Kiri worriedly, hoping to find some sort of semblance hidden within her gaze, but her expression only mirrored your own. She, too, had no idea what was wrong with you — she was only training to be like her grandmother, and she clearly hadn’t gotten to this part of her lessons just yet.

“You are pregnant, my child.”

Your head snapped in her direction, not fast enough, those particular words reverberating within your mind, bouncing from one corner of the walls to another until you were sure you hadn’t imagined what the woman in front of you had said. You could feel your ears subconsciously fall against your head, your tail solemnly wrapping around your figure protectively, although, you were unsure what you were protecting yourself from.

You were pregnant.

Tears started to form within your eyes, pleading desperately within yourself to not let them fall. Your breathing started to pick up in pace a little, too, but you will it to calm. Looking down at your stomach, you placed a gentle hand against it, like you were caressing your unborn child.

Your unborn child.

You and Neteyam had had conversations about having a family — any pair of mates would — but your plans were to wait a little longer, to live your lives as you were supposed to before delving deeper into that chapter. It was all too much — you were unsure what to think. Should you be happy that you were having your firstborn child, or should you be worried of your mates reaction, scared he’d resent you for not waiting longer like you’d originally planned?

No words left your lips, throat too parched and nerves too calculated to form a barely coherent response, but you found that you didn’t have the time to. In that moment, Neteyam burst through his grandmother’s tent, eyes wide, ears alert and tail pointed tensely in the air. Someone had clearly seen you enter the Tsahik’s tent with Kiri, looking pale and unwell.

Looking up at him, you could only feel more tears consume your eyes until your vision started to become blurry. He rushed over to you, crouching down next to you, cupping your face in his hands and inspecting every inch of your body. When he couldn’t find anything external, he began to panic, confused. “What is it, ma muntxa (my mate)?”

Your eyes trailed both of his own, looking deeply into them and seeing nothing but pure love and adoration. From next to you, you could see Mo’at and Kiri silently leave the two of you alone in the quiet of the tent, giving you the space you needed.

Hands still stroking softly against your stomach, you looked down, then back up at him, hoping he would understand what you were trying to say without you having to utter the words. His eyes followed to where your hands lay, widening in surprise, his tail beginning to flick back and forth rhythmically.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper, almost inaudible. A tear falls down your cheek, cascading to the bottom of your chin.

Neteyam continues to hold your face in his hands, eyes never once leaving your own as his thumb wipes your emotions away. A breathless laugh tumbles from his lips, smile wide and unable to disappear once it’s made its presence known. “What could you possibly be sorry for?”

Despite the loving features Neteyam was bearing only to you, you couldn’t help the guilt still continuing to eat away at you. “We didn’t plan for this,” you pause licking your lips in contemplation, “we were going to wait a little longer...”

“Listen to me,” Neteyam starts, voice firm. He shuffles closer to your figure, practically pulling you on top of him, leaving your face in the palms of his hands. “Sometimes plans change, and there’s nothing wrong with that.” One of his hands leaves your face to place it lovingly against your stomach. “Especially when the change involves something like this.”

You can’t look away from, too scared that if you do, he might suddenly change his mind. So, you don’t, and he doesn’t.

Your tears are now winning over, falling onto your face tumultuously, but this time, they’re happy tears, joyful tears. You laugh along with Neteyam, disbelieving to have been so lucky with this blessing from Ewya — both being Neteyam, and your unborn child.

He brings your faces together now, foreheads touching as he rubs your noses together. “I cannot wait to start this new life together with you, ma muntxa (my mate).” You nudge against his nose out of love, causing him to chuckle at your affections. “I will protect you both with my life — and I will care for you both, always.”

Placing a gentle kiss upon your lips, you feel his hands return to the flat of your stomach — this time, his thumbs are running smoothly against the skin there. When he pulls away from your face, you lean closer, desperate for more of him, but you feel your heart ache fondly when you watch him lower himself down, pressing such a feather-like kiss to your stomach that you barely feel it.

“I love you, ma’eveng (my child).”

[psychoticallykind]

Clowns

"Respect" - Jegulus microfic - @into-the-jeggyverse - 814 words

--------------------------------------------------------------

Regulus was trying really, really hard to keep a straight face as he watched his boyfriend struggle. He was succeeding so far.

James looked slightly horrified by the - admittedly hideous - clown painting Regulus had brought home.

"You told me that I could choose the theme for movie night," Regulus reminded him. "Remember? It's next Sunday, everyone is coming over."

James hadn't looked away from the thing. He sounded almost faint as he replied. "Uh-huh. I remember."

"Don't you like it?" Regulus pushed, forcing himself to keep up the act. "I thought it would be cool to hang up behind the TV, and we can watch It - you know, the Steven King one? And I found like three other clown movies that look interesting."

James nodded. "Right. That's - um. Okay." He squinted at the painting. "And your theme is clowns? That's the decision here?"

Sometimes growing up in a toxic household had its benefits. Given, they were few and far between, but they did exist. And one of these benefits was that Regulus knew how to act.

"You hate it, don't you?" Regulus asked, pushing a little bit of dejection into his tone.

James looked away from the monstrosity for the first time in ten minutes, wincing at Regulus's expression. "No! It's -" James hesitated as his eyes flickered back to the painting, but seemed to find some resolve as he looked back at his (secretly amused) boyfriend. "It's not what I expected. But that's okay. We all have different ideas, and I respect your choice. It's a good choice," James insisted.

Regulus glanced at the painting. "Are you sure? I don't want to force you into anything."

His boyfriend glanced one more time at the clown before walking over to Regulus and pulling him against his chest, wrapping him up and pressing a kiss to the top of his head. "Of course, I'm sure."

Regulus felt the slightest sting of guilt at how sweet James was being. Especially considering he hated clowns with a passion.

Regulus couldn't see James's expression anymore, but he felt him take a deep breath, and he could hear the sincerity when he spoke next.

"I maybe don't love the clown itself," James admitted quietly. "But I love you, and I love that you made a choice that you'll enjoy. So if having a clown-themed movie night will make you happy, then I'm happy to go along with it, love."

Oh, this was no longer fun. Regulus was regretting the whole thing now.

"We can go hang it up now, if you want?" James offered, and Regulus winced. He'd actually been counting on James rejecting the clown idea immediately.

He really should have known better. James had never refused him anything before.

"Um, Jamie?" Regulus asked quietly.

"Yes, love?"

Regulus bit his lip, hesitating. It felt like a mean trick, in hindsight. "Um. About the clown."

"Yeah?" James asked. When there was no reply, he continued. "I know I probably didn't react very well at first, but I meant what I said. I didn't mean to make you second-guess yourself."

Regulus squeezed his eyes shut. This was so bad. Why had he done this?

It was all Barty's fault, he decided. This was the last time he listened to one of Barty's ideas.

Part of him just wanted to go with it now - the clown was creepy and he actually really hated those movies, but he didn't want to admit he'd been playing a trick on James when James had been so sweet about it.

On the other hand, if James apologized one more time he was going to start crying.

"I don't actually want the theme to be clowns," Regulus said quickly.

He felt more than heard James's confusion. "What?"

With a deep sigh, Regulus turned around and met his boyfriend's eyes. "I didn't actually choose a clown theme. It was just a trick to see how you'd react to the really creepy painting."

Regulus watched James for a reaction. He knew that it wouldn't be anger - James was too well-adjusted for that - but he was worried James might be a little upset.

He did not expect the huge, beaming smile.

"So it's not clowns?" James checked, eyes wide. At Regulus's answering nod, he let out a long breath and pulled Regulus into a tight hug. "Thank God. I was dreading the nightmares that thing was going to cause."

Regulus could've melted in relief. "You're not upset?"

"Upset?" James pulled back with a laugh, shaking his head. "No, love, I am so, so happy right now." He glanced at the painting and then gave Regulus a thoughtful look. "Did you actually buy that?"

"Uh, yeah, but we can throw it out," Regulus suggested.

"Can we burn it?" James asked. He gave Regulus a pleading look. "I would really love to burn it."

"Yeah, James," Regulus laughed. "We can burn it."

[stsgluver]

synopsis. after too many years, gojo has his family together again.

wc. 810

tags. lovers-to-strangers-to-lovers!au

series link !

"so are you two back together?"

you and gojo share a surprised look that that was the first question that tsumiki asked. yes, you had acknowledged the status of your relationship would be brought up in this small cafe meeting with tsumiki and megumi, but admittedly you'd hoped it would've come up far later in the conversation. if at all.

beyond your initial comment about how leaving him had impacted you, there hadn't been much discussion on anything regarding the two of you together. the jujutsu world was one of heartache and pain and neither of you were brave enough to take the dive into another heartbreak that would surely kill you both.

you cleared your throat, ignoring the heat that had risen to your cheeks as you shook your head, "no, no, we are just friends." gojo gave a tight-lipped smile and nodded in agreement.

just friends aren't still deeply in lo-

"-being away from this place wasn't as... cleansing for the soul as i'd hoped it to be so i came back," you explained and tsumiki eyed you both suspiciously.

tsumiki had been thirteen and megumi twelve when you had left. they had always been insightful children and knew something was wrong before you and gojo officially ended things. neither had expected you to leave them, however, and it had taken megumi some convincing to come to the cafe at all to see you.

he'd barely acknowledged you at jujutsu high.

"so you're back for good?" tsumiki asked and you nodded, causing a wide grin to appear on her face, "yay! i've really hated being the only girl in the house-"

"-she's not moving back in," gojo cut her off more harshly than intended and he bit his tongue, sending you an apologetic glance.

you brushed it off, leaning across the table to lightly squeeze tsumiki's hand, "i'll definitely come over and visit. I've missed our friday girl's nights." it wasn't enough to make her smile as it had before, but at least one night a week was definitely better than the zero she'd had for three and a half years.

"are you sure you should be coming back?"

everything around you stilled and you're once again reminded of how observant megumi was, even as a young teenager. it reflected his muddled childhood and you felt a pang of guilt for only further causing an issue which forced him to mature more quickly than he should've had to.

"i'm okay now megs, i promise," you said sincerely, "everything was just getting a little too much and i could barely focus. i didn't want to get someone hurt on a mission because of my mistakes. you're stuck with me now though. forever." your promise did little to subside the unease that megumi felt but he nodded his head in recognition nonetheless.

the silence of a thousand unsaid words settled between the four of you, each of you deciding that staring at your drinks were more fascinating.

gojo decided that this was his opportunity to make his coffee to just his liking and began pouring in several tubes of sugar at once.

you scoffed at his behaviour as he reached for three more, "how do you have any teeth left?"

gojo gave your drink a disgusted glance, "if you tell me that you like the bitter flavour of coffee, i'll be the one who leaves this time." whilst you'd like to say that you were shocked that he was making jokes so soon, you'd be lying. this was how he coped. had it not been for the circumstance, you think you would've been a little happier for that - this gojo was still your gojo.

you diverted your attention back to megumi, "you still remember the pins to gojo's cards right?" he nodded with a smirk in gojo's direction. "perfect!" you placed your hand on gojo's forearm that rested on the table as you grinned up at him. he did his best not to visibly react to feeling the warm of your touch, even through the fabric of his shirt. "we'll be okay without you." however, the way your fingers naturally hold onto his shirt a little bit tighter than necessary screamed otherwise.

gojo dramatically rolled his eyes, tsking as you 'ganged' up on him, "oh so now you're all using me for my money? shocked but not surprised."

"well it's definitely not your personality that keeps us around," megumi quipped and gojo gasped as he clutched a hand to his shirt in faux agony. for a boy who so often kept his emotions hidden beneath a facade, no one missed the quirk of his lips into a small smile.

for a moment, a very brief fleeting moment, gojo was content. in front of him were the three most important people in his life and, relationships aside, his family was together again.

tag list below cut:

@trinityimagines ! @karmcrim15 ! @sagekko! @hoejosfavhoe ! @hilzup ! @planetnini ! @mariapierce789 ! @deegausserr ! @shoutoandsatorubrainrot ! @keilaq1 !

if you have any suggestions or any ideas for this series please let me know!!

[the-writer-ofthe-fandoms]

Silent Cosmos (Edward Cullen) (Ch. 3)

Pairing: Edward Cullen x GN! Mute!Reader

Words: 2.8k+

Warning(s): Two gross dudes, sexual verbal harassment (not towards reader), swearing,

A/N: omg chapter 3 is finally here. I apologize for the wait. I thought my semester this time around would be forgiving but NOPE. I had so much to do and read, I could hardly write for fun or draw either. I hadn't realized how long it had been since I last posted. I want to try a new method when writing series. I tried with my kpop writing blog, and its where I write a few chapters at a time then periodically post them. Helps keep the flow and motivation going, but that may have been a one off there.

Series Masterlist

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"O star of strength! I see thee stand And smile upon my pain; Thou beckonest with thy mailèd hand, And I am strong again... The Star of the unconquered will, He rises in my breast, Serene, and resolute, and still, And calm, and self-possessed. -- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, "The Light of Stars"

-------

Edward hasn't been in school for the past few days.

You admittedly felt a little lonely without his presence, though Emmett and Alice have made it their mission to become your new best friends. Jasper tried but he still kept his distance from you, which you didn't mind. Rosalie helped when no other Cullen was around, although she kept a lot of conversations at a minimum, which you also didn't mind.

Alice had told you Edward had gotten a bad cold, so he is staying home. You had offered to bring him your notes the first time so he could copy them down, but Alice told you their father has him basically on lock down until he is deemed healthy. So, after you've done your homework, you've been making copies of your notes to give him when he comes back.

It's the start of a new day and once again, Edward wasn't there. You were at your locker with 15 minutes to spare. You placed the spare folder with Edward's notes on the shelf while your mind went back to that moment you two shared at the welcoming party for your uncle. You felt happy telling him all the stars and constellation you could see, and even happier when he seemed thoroughly interested in your rambles. However, you feel an inkling of guilt when you remember he gave you his jacket. Maybe he got sick from that?

"Dude, I got this weird spot on my dick."

Well, there goes your musings of guilt. You glance to your left and see two guys near you, just chilling against the lockers. You've never met them, though you do remember sharing a class or two with them separately.

"Are you really airing your business out when someone is standing right their?" The shorter one, with dirty blonde hair and hazel eyes gestures to you.

"Relax, Mark. That's the deaf student." The taller one with deep brown eyes and brown hair says with a laugh. You suppress the urge to roll your eyes and choose to just focus on the inside of your locker. Maybe you should get more decorations- "Anyways, I have this weird spot on my dick. It almost looks like I have a weird mole there. I'm hoping it's just a new mole and Cindy didn't give me something."

Gross.

"I'd get that shit checked out then. You don't want it to turn into something worse if it is an STD." Mark says with a sigh. "I told you not to sleep with her, Tony. She made my balls itch like crazy. They still fucking itch."

"I think its just a weird mole. You wanna look?" He cackles while his friend fake gags. They both push off the lockers and walk away to who knows where.

You let out a deep sigh and close your locker. At least the ignorance of other allows you to hear some gossip.

"What's with the sigh, Tiny?" Emmett calls out as he and Rosalie approach you. He has very quickly taken to the nickname Tiny for you. You suppose anyone shorter than him would be considered tiny in his eyes. Rosalie simply opened her locker as you and Emmett conversed.

"Oh, just overheard two people talking about something that should have been a private conversation." You respond with a slight shrug.

"Gah, Forks High is full of a bunch of weirdos, huh?" He grins and raises his brows a few times, crossing his arms while leaning on the locker next to you. You silently chuckle and nod, though you wondered if there was an underlying joke there.

"No Edward today?"

"Nope. Carlisle still hasn't cleared him." He sighs with a sympathetic smile. "Between you and me, Tiny, Edward is still shitting his brains out." He signed that last portion to you.

You gave him a scandalized look and playfully slapped his arm with a small chuckle. You were surprised to feel just how hard his muscles were.

"What was that for?" He gripped where you slapped and pretended to be hurt. "It was a private conversation, no one else here except Rosalie knows sign."

You roll your eyes and shake your head with a smile. You could always count on Emmett to get you to smile.

"C'mon, Rose and I will walk you to first period, like always." He grins and gestures you to follow him. Rose simply came along since she and Em were in the class next to yours. You nod and follow, happy to have good company.

---

It was a passing period and it was just you and Rose at your lockers. You grabbed a new pen and pencil since the last two you had broke and ran out of ink. Rosalie was fluffing up her already perfect, blond hair in the mirror of her locker. She and you didn't converse much, but you still liked her presence. Like the rest of the Cullens, she didn't tiptoe around you or treated you differently. She acknowledged your presence and would answer you if you had questions.

You were about finished in your locker when you heard two familiar voices keep up their gross conversations behind you.

"Dude, Rosalie has the hottest ass." Tony practically jeers, his voice intentionally loud. You glance to the blond next to you and she still keeps fixing her hair, though you can see her brows are a little more furrowed and her lips are more in the shape of a frown.

"Her tits, man, her tits are where it's at." Replies Mark and when you shift just enough to see him in the corner of your eyes, you see him make an obscene gesture.

You hear the slight creek of metal and when you look to Rose, you see her grip is so tight on her locker door that her fingers made indents which made your eyes widen for a moment. She closes her locker and you can see by her side profile she is pissed, and rightfully so.

So, you do what you think would make her laugh at the expense of those two guys.

You tap her arm to get her attention and she looks at you with a glare. You don't let it faze you. If those two are going to be gross about your friend, you'll just air out their business that they so willingly aired out by you this morning.

"You know those two jackasses?" You intentionally look to them as you sign and look back at her. "Well the brown haired one has a spot on his penis that he isn't sure if it's a mole or an STD. And his buddy likely doesn't wash right since he's had prolonged itchy balls."

Rosalie looks almost scandalized until her eyes widen for a moment as she looks at the two dudes and then back to you. She covers her mouth as she laughs when she realizes what you're trying to do.

You were about to sign some more when the two dumbasses approach.

"I know you were talking shit. What the fuck did you sign?" Tony glared, pointing an accusatory finger at you. He gets in your face and you swear you hear Rosalie growl.

You swallow thickly and decide to open your mouth. Your aunt always said you got your stubbornness from your mom.

"I said..." You try not to wince at the pain in your throat, your voice sounding hoarse. "You had a weird spot on your dick and your friend... has itchy balls." They looked at you with wide, horrified looks. "Don't talk about someone's body if you don't want yours talked about either."

"You little shit." Mark hisses and Rose steps closer to your side, an arm just barely in front of yours.

"What's going on here?" Emmetts voice grows louder as he approaches, his usual, carefree smile no longer on his face. He looked scarier than you've ever seen him. Mark and Tony looked at each other before slinking off.

Once they were gone you let out a dry, painful cough. You cover your mouth with the back of your hand and quickly grab your water and drink, soothing your throat. You could taste a tiny bit of iron in the back of your throat as you drank.

Rosalie calls your name softly. "Are you okay?"

You nod in response and take another sip of water. You didn't catch the look they gave each other or Rose gesturing for Emmett to speak.

"What happened, Tiny?" He asks in a quiet tone. You close the cap of your bottle and place it back in your bag. Your throat still ached but you knew the pain from using your larynx will linger.

You start to sign to him everything that occurred, from what you overheard in the morning to him approaching. You can see a flash of anger on his face but he goes back to that small smile. Once you explained your words to Rose and why you said them, a huge grin breaks out on his face.

"I didn't know you had it in you, Tiny." He laughs and pats your shoulder a little too firmly.

"Come, I'll walk you to class." Rosalie said with a soft tone. You nod and wave goodbye  to Emmett. You both start heading down the hallway, the blond next to you tense.

When you got to your class a pale hand stopped you. You look to Rose with a questioning look while her gold eyes avoid yours.

"I just wanted to say thank you for earlier." Rosalie says, the tense look she had fades into a small smile, her eyes meeting yours. You see some vulnerability in her usually guarded gaze. She gives your shoulder a squeeze before dropping her hand. "You didn't have to do that. I'm... admittedly used to that."

"No need to thank me, Rosalie." You smile back at her.

"I do, because not many would step up like that." She softly sighs and her smile grows a bit. You felt her words had more meaning to them, but you decided to not linger on them for now. "I know I've been slightly avoiding you but I have a hard time trusting hu- new people. But, after today, I think I want to open up a bit and be friends."

"I'd like that too." You beam. "Alice has been begging me to do a shopping trip, maybe the three of us can plan a trip soon."

"I'd... I'd like that." She almost looks like she is relieved and less guarded.

"Is your hand okay?"

"What?"

"Well, I saw you grip your locker and you dented it."

"Oh. Yeah, it's fine. I work on cars and my grip is strong. It's nothing." She holds out her hands and you saw just flawless skin. "Well, I will see you soon. Class is starting."

"Talk to you later." You wave and go to class. You sit down at your usual spot and start preparing. You sigh, irritated at the way those two spoke about Rose so loudly. But you also felt happy you and Rose were close now. Her bending the locker was suspicious... there were many things off with the Cullens that you've picked up, however, you don't linger on it. They have their quirks much like you have your own.

---

Edward lounged on the couch reading, back from his trip up to the Denali clan to clear his head. After witnessing that nightmare from you, he needed a moment alone to sort his thoughts. He wasn't sure what he felt afterwards but once he took some time to sort out his thoughts, he came back to Forks. None of the others knew what happened. He didn't tell them those details of your life, as none of them were privy to it. He wasn't either but that bridge has been crossed thanks to his ability and curiosity of the galaxy protecting your mind.

He felt guilt initially when he realized he deeply invaded your privacy. Then, despair and immense sadness followed when he recalls back to your nightmare, your past. Edward had seen many horrors in his long life, he even committed some when he'd hunt those men. However when he witnessed what you went through, he couldn't help feel a spark of protectiveness. You were nice. He found you a joy to be around despite it not being long since you transferred. He doesn't want anything bad to happen to you.

Edward couldn't help but smile when he thought back to you and him outside the fire station. It was a peaceful moment. He couldn't help but linger on the sight of you in his jacket, pointing out the stars and constellations. It was silent other than your internal thoughts. And when he got to witness your galaxy so at peace? He also felt a sense of tranquility he longs for.

Edward quickly put those thoughts away and resumed his attention his book when he heard his adoptive siblings come in. Alice and Jasper pass without saying to him, which he was slightly thankful for. However, Emmett and Rosalie lingered by him.

"How can I help you both?" Edward sighs, snapping the book closed as he looks at both of them.

Rose crosses her arms. "You need to come back tomorrow."

"Why? Did something happen?"

"Yeah, Tiny happened." Emmett grinned and gestured to Rosalie. The blond sighed and let the memory replay of you standing up for her so Edward can see what happened today. He furrows his brows, setting his book down. He stands up from the couch and looks between the two.

"My guess is those two will probably retaliate against our friend one way or another." Rosalie says softly. Edward chooses not to point out how she said 'our friend.' "You spend the most time with them, they'll need you to stick around them the most."

Edward nods slowly. He recognizes Mark and Tony, and he knows they each have a class with him and you. He's heard the thoughts that spew from them both like garbage and he knows they aren't above getting back at someone.

"I'll come back tomorrow." He confirms. He wanted one more day to himself, but tomorrow is good as ever to face you again. He knows how you lost your voice and how you ended up living with your uncle and aunt now, but you don't know he knows. And he'll have to keep that in mind.

Although, Edward couldn't help but smile at the sound of your voice in Rosalie's memory. It was rough and hoarse, and it caused you pain, pain he doesn't want you feeling again... but it was nice hearing that voice that matches to the one in your head... when that space of yours is dropped.

---

You make your way to your locker first thing in the morning. You get yourself situated, grabbing the things you need for your classes before lunch. You set aside the folder where you kept your copies of notes for Edward down on the small shelf. You huff softly, throat still feeling sore from using your voice.

A familiar voice calling your name has you spinning around quickly, a smile instantly growing on your face. Edward approaches you with a small smile, looking the same as he did the last time you saw him.

"Glad to see you're feeling better." You grin, your mind flashing back to what Emmett signed to you in regards to Edward's health. You catch your friend's eyebrow twitch, a flash of annoyance on his face that he quickly recovered.

A Cullen quirk, you muse to yourself.

"Yeah. I'm doing a lot better now." He replies softly, standing  a little closer to you than usual.

"I have something for you." You see his eyebrow quirk as you turn back to your locker. You pull out the black folder and hand him it. "Notes for the classes we share."

Edward stares down at the folder before chuckling. He looks up at you and gives you brilliant smile, one that makes your heart flutter for just a moment. "Thank you, I really appreciate it."

"Of course."

Suddenly, you feel hand on your back. Edward was standing much closer to you with an expression akin to a scowl as he stares off a little. He looks to you and smiles softly, though you can still see the tension on his face.

"We should get to the classroom. I'll probably have questions about what I missed." He says in a low voice. You nod, a little confused by his demeanor. You finish up with your locker and let him guide through the hallway, his cold hand still resting on the middle of your back.

You weren't aware of Tony's and Mark's presences until you both were walking by them to your first period classroom. You paid them no mind, keeping your focus ahead of you. Doing this, however, has you missing the deep and threatening glare from Edward towards the both of them.

As you both walked through the hallway, Edward felt that his non-existent blood boiling at the degrading, violent, and nasty thoughts those two were thinking. He knew they both weren't the best that Forks has to offer, their thoughts sometimes louder than others.

That protective urge he felt after witnessing your nightmare? It's working overtime now and he isn't completely sure why.

What Edward does know that he won't let them try anything towards you.

------

Taglist: @buckybarnes-1917​, @trawberry-fire​ , @dreamy-caramel​, @urgirlfriendspage @azazel-nyx @stinkii-boii @vanessalovesonedirection @sunnyisntthere @theatrenerd101601 @awesomebooklover17 @esposadomd @whichwitchisthebitch @bofadeezs @gons-dad-is-gon-e @kathsuhki @aoi-targaryen @srh-006 @onlyheretosimp

[gretavanfleetposts]

Nothing Breaks Like A Heart - Part Three of Make Her Happy

Author's Note: The long-awaited part three! I'm a dually incredibly embarrassed that this took almost an entire year to finish. The time really got away from me LOL So I'm very sorry for that but I hope you all enjoy (and fingers crossed it was worth at least some of that wait)

Content Warnings: lots of swearing, bit of drinking

Word Count: 6k

Part One - Make Her Happy

Part Two - Give Me Shelter

One of the last things Jake had said to you before he'd left was that you should talk to Josh. And that was exactly what you hadn't done.

In fact, you’d let two weeks slip by like sand through your fingers without poking or prodding the topic even once. You’d clung to your avoidance like battle armor and if you were honest with yourself, you feared losing Jake just as much as you feared losing Josh.

So you and Josh hadn’t spoken and nothing had changed, nothing other than the fact that it felt Jake had been keeping his distance. Or maybe you were just more sensitive to his absence now that it felt necessary.

Damn him for being a good brother. For being better than me.

He was better than you, it seemed. Because he had put you to bed two weeks ago and left under the impression you were going to do the right thing and instead, you'd avoided your problems and had once again come running to Jake to have him make you feel better.

No, not to make me feel better. Just to play a stupid game. That's all.

He must have heard the honk of your car locking because you had barely made it to the front door before he was suddenly standing there in your way, a look on his face that somehow tangled caution and amusement into one jumbled mess expressed as a half-quirked smile and eyebrows that dipped low in the middle of his forehead. It was an expression that quite matched how you felt, butterflies and guilt and all.

“I take it you two didn't talk.”

Is it that obvious?

“What a way to greet a lady,” you said with a sudden scowl as you pushed past him through the doorway and led yourself to his kitchen.

To say you weren’t quite ready to broach that topic would have been an understatement.

“Why do you seem so chipper?” he asked from behind you as he followed your path through his home.

“I can't be happy to see you?” you threw back at him as you dropped your tote bag off your shoulder and onto the pristine marble of his kitchen island with a familiar muffled clang of a glass bottle shrouded by thin canvas to dull the promise it rang out into the air as it was set down. A little something for the soul.

“I guess I’ve admittedly grown a little bit more used to being greeted with tears. But this is a nice change.”

He gave you a sweet smile but paired with the way his eyes seem to wilt at the outer corners, you could see the sadness it held. It reminded you of the guilt you carried around with you constantly lately, only with a new object of affection. How selfish of you to think that this hadn’t taken any toll on him at all.

Your eyes turned soft. “I'm sorry. I am. You've been my sunshine these past several months. I hope you know that.”

Even as you said it, you knew it couldn’t begin to articulate what it was you really felt for him. But it was enough just to see the rose of a deep blush tinge his cheeks red and turn his smile suddenly bashful.

“Happy to provide,” was all he said in that typical, raspy, almost sleepy voice of his.

It was hard not to chuckle at the things he found too intimate to take in stride. It was fine for him to call you what he had in bed but heaven forbid you call him your sunshine…

“Don't think I didn't notice you dodging my original question though,” he added, breaking your concentration.

Oh yeah. My problems. How lovely of him to remind me.

You quirked up an accusing eyebrow. “Like how you dodged my compliment just now?”

“Ever so expertly,” he answered, this time with an unabashed smile that spread his lips wide across his face.

You felt your gaze dart away before you could even stop it, a heavy sigh pillowing in your chest before expelling into the air like a pot on the stove blowing off steam to keep from boiling over.

“I need one night of just…not talking about it.” You’d had plenty of nights of that, actually. What was one more? “Or thinking about it, preferably.” And then to really catch his attention and maybe even further drive home your point, you reached into your bag to uncloak the wine.

There was a specific smile he always donned when alcohol was present and when it took hold, you knew you could take it as an agreement to drop it, at least while there was a full bottle to contend with.

He took it from your grasp with only a dutiful nod, turning the dark glass over in his hands to inspect the label despite the fact that he likely knew nothing printed there would catch his eye. You had one sense of taste that trumped all others when it came to using fermented drinks to bandage your wounds: cheap.

“What am I if not a seasoned distraction?” he asked, already digging into a cupboard to procure two large, round glasses.

“That's why I seek you out,” you answered with a smile as you watched his hands work and tried your hardest not to think back to that first time he had served as your distraction.

“Well, hopefully that’s not the only reason.”

It was that comment that caught you and sent your stomach into a twist unbecoming of someone who was very much not single, especially given the way it suddenly brought the memory of your second time to the forefront of your mind, a time when it was hardly a distraction so much as it was a necessity in that moment. 

No, distraction wasn’t the only reason you were there. Comfort either. You’d grown to long for his company in a much deeper way. It wasn’t company in general he was providing you with, it was his and his alone.

And the game, of course. Mostly that.

“What's on the agenda for the night?” Jake asked as if he hadn’t just sent you into a deep spiral of thought that you’d been hoping to avoid that evening.

At least he’d been kind enough to pour you a glass of wine without you asking.

“I brought candyland since you owe me a rematch for what you did last time.”

The memory of your pieces scattered on the floor along with every card in the deck like a colorful patchwork quilt that you'd made him clean up both times he'd done it brought an earnest smile to his face.

“I'll flip the board again if you don't let me get tipsy first.”

You certainly didn't have to wonder if he was serious so with the preservation of your game in mind, you agreed with a nod and a, “Seems fair to me,” as you reached out for your wine. But he was already retreating by the time your fingers reached the air that the temptation in a glass once occupied.

“Come here,” he said with a mischievous look overtaking his face. “Something I want to show you.”

This time it was you left following him through his home, both glass stems tucked snugly between talented fingers like he was beckoning you to chase him if you wanted yours. And you did want yours. That was why, despite the sudden flurry of nerves that his look seemed to conjure in your chest, you did as you were told and followed him.

I swear to God, if he's talking about his dick…

You actually weren't sure what you'd do. Probably not the decent thing.

But to your surprise, he led you to a usually barren room save for the red Persian rug warming the middle and the walls outlined in vintage instruments ready to be plucked off the wall and played. Except today, the center of the room wasn't barren as it had been for months.

The room opened up to greet you with a warm mahogany welcome in the shape of a baby grand piano that instantly made your fingers itch. It wasn't so different from the piano you'd been toying with at the party where you and Josh had met. Of course, you weren't as good a player as he was but you certainly knew your way around.

“Figured we rehearse here enough it was worth the investment,” you heard Jake say from behind you where he now stood watching as you carefully perched yourself onto the little matching mahogany bench.

“My God, she is beautiful,” you breathed as you opened the fallboard to uncover a full set of vintage ebony and ivory that seemed to practically yearn for your touch.

Your fingers danced out a quick melody that warmed your joints as much as it did your demeanor. You hadn't played much lately. Actually, you hadn't really played at all. But there were some things that stuck with you, worked their way into your bones, maybe into your very DNA. And this was one of them.

“Does this mean you're going to learn?” you asked, turning your focus back to him as you swiveled to find his face.

“I'd need a teacher for that and I refuse to let Sam fill that role.”

He gave you a cheeky smile that you read instantly. It was an open invitation for you to take on the role of said teacher, so you stood and, taking your wine glass from his hand finally, made a grand sweeping gesture toward the now unoccupied piano bench.

He took his seat, pretending to throw his imagined coat tails over the bench, earning a giggle that swished the wine in your glass. You hovered not too far behind him as he cracked his knuckles and cleared his throat, making a quite thorough display of his preparation only to put fingers to keys and press out one of the more off-key renditions of twinkle twinkle little star you'd ever heard. And he was met with another giggle that seemed to only encourage his actions.

“Oh that's amazing. You must teach me your ways,” you joked with a smile as you set your glass down on the floor just out of the way.

“Save me, please,” he answered with a hoarse laugh, finally slowing his fingers to a halt but keeping them positioned on the keys.

You approached him slowly, coming up close behind his back to stretch your arms over his shoulders and let your fingers find rest overtop his just as delicately as your chest grazed the wide plane of his back. You could smell his cologne strong on his neck as you guided his fingers to better position them amongst the keys, your breath dusting his cheek with each exhale. And you swore you could almost tell that he was holding in a breath if you paid close enough attention to the movement in his shoulders that seemed to have suddenly stilled.

Somewhere among your skin resting against his and your hair tickling his neck, the world around you seemed to grow still and quiet, fading into a background of white noise and blurred lines. And then you pressed your fingers more firmly into his and a striking chord sliced through the air alongside whatever breath Jake had been holding.

“There, just like that,” you said in a voice far shakier than you had hoped it would turn out to be.

But he was silent, letting you guide his fingers slowly up to a new chord, or outstretching a pinky to hit a further key as yours nudged it, never saying a word. He let you play that way, through him, feeling the notes through the strength and dexterity of his talented fingers that fit so snugly beneath yours and obeyed your every command.

“I knew I was good at something,” he joked in a whisper that barely traveled up above the note lingering beneath your hold until he turned his face dangerously to the side to face yours.

It brought his nose only an inch from yours but what felt even more dangerous were his eyes and the quick flicker they made to your lips, resting parted and practically panting. You didn’t even realize your own breathing had picked up until you suddenly became aware of the heat reaching your palms, heat he could likely feel radiating through his skin still resting beneath yours. And just as quickly as the moment had been conjured, he turned his face back to his hands and yours retreated entirely just before you darted over to your glass of wine to down the contents while he continued to fiddle with keys.

“You're a good student,” you commented as evenly as you could as you took a seat on the bench next to him. A much safer spot than where you had been.

“You’re a good teacher,” he answered with a quick flash of a smile in your direction, fingers still tripping over keys and filling the air around you with a disjointed music that you admittedly didn’t mind.

“Well, maybe not as good as you.” It came out rather absently as you had taken to fiddling with a random key yourself, turning your attention to that instead of the familiar pounding of your heart in your chest, a rhythmic reminder of the effect Jake had on you.

When he turned to face you again, you could feel his eyes hot on your cheek. You wanted to be brave and face him but there was something about his knowing gaze that made you feel that much more defeated. You felt like a terrible person, in all actuality. How could you have fallen for your boyfriend’s brother? Was that actually what you had done or were you just using him like a bandaid? Did you even know anymore?

Maybe it’s just the sex I like.

“Is that why you're here?” he asked, his gaze somehow even hotter than before. “You need another lesson?”

God, can he read my mind?

For a brief moment, you found yourself debating it. It didn’t feel like that was what you had come for but you certainly weren’t ignorant to the need that radiated through your body every time he so much as glanced in your direction. But you also weren’t ignorant to just how wrong it really felt. However it had felt that first time, hesitant as you had been, the glances you stole now didn’t feel that way. They didn’t feel harmless. They didn’t feel like something Josh had signed off his approval on.

And for now, the guilt rang strong enough through your body to stop you from doing something worse.

“I'm here to beat you at candyland,” you answered, eyes finally braving his face only to be greeted by a smile that seemed to be growing by the second.

“Well that's just not going to happen.”

—

“That is cheating!” you yelled over the board as you angrily moved Jake's piece back several spaces behind yours.

“It is not, my piece was planning on being there this whole time,” he argued back, grabbing it from your hand to return it to the space he had just placed it on with his hand that wasn't gripping his wine glass like his life depended on it.

You weren't sure if it was the booze or the antics of the game, but his British accent was starting to slip out the more uncivilized he got and you were trying your best to be stern despite the smile it was holding permanently to your lips.

“It doesn't matter what he was planning on, you didn't roll high enough to go that far!”

He gave you a displeased shake of his head as he finally took his piece back, “accidentally” knocking yours over in the process.

“I don't think you're playing this right,” he mumbled before chugging the remaining contents of his third glass of wine.

“I'm sorry you don’t get to just do whatever you want,” you laughed as you wrestled another card out of his hand seeing as it most certainly was not his turn.

“Well that is too bad, isn't it,” he said gruffly although even he was struggling to keep the smile off his face and commit to the bit.

The day had grown so late that darkness had finally come to greet you and this was your third attempt at a civilized game, which you were beginning to think was simply impossible with Jake. He just couldn’t seem to stop cheating.

Let’s not read too much into that.

By the time you had maneuvered all of the cards away from him thanks to that all-too familiar gleam in his eye, he sat back in his seat to let a comfortable silence grow between you both, silent glances exchanged as a buzz settled over you both. But in the silence and the calm grew that familiar heat, a buzz brought on by more than just the alcohol consumed that night. There was something about it, those quiet, gentle moments, that turned the volume of tension about the room up several levels, like you couldn't trust yourselves to be around one another in such a still moment without busying your hands and your bodies with one another. Like you were always just waiting for the next opportunity for it.

That was how it felt: like you were waiting. And suddenly in the haven of golden light in your little secluded pocket of the night, in the quietness of his gaze trying to stay fixed to anything but you, you felt you shouldn't be there.

Why had you come?

Jake cleared his throat and nudged your empty wine glass. “You want more?”

You gave him a light shake of your head and an answer just as soft. “I'm driving.”

He nodded in return and cast his eyes to his hands. He almost looked nervous. Why would he be nervous?

When he met your eyes again, you could tell he was searching your face for something. But what it was he was looking for, you had no idea. And if he found it, you had no idea of that either. But as you gazed back, you found yourself unable to look away, unable to hide your face or your eyes or your feelings from him. Whatever it was you were feeling, you let him see it there on your features like a book written just for him.

It's him I want. That's why I came.

It seemed to hit you all at once and suddenly the need for action seemed just as real.

“I guess I should go.”

Before I do something I shouldn't.

He nodded again, adding an almost silent “okay” that somehow made the task of getting up all the more hard. But somehow, your feet shuffled and your legs moved and your body, which seemed to be of much more sound mind than your actual mind, moved its way to the kitchen sink, wine glass in hand.

“You don't have to do that,” you heard Jake say from behind you.

Close behind you.

“I don't mind,” you answered quietly as you continued to turn the faucet on and rinse the glass.

That was when you felt him at your back, arms emerging from either side and his hands, practically shaking, entwining themselves with yours to steal the glass away from your grip.

“Here,” he whispered, “let me.”

Fuck.

You weren't exactly sure what it was that suddenly surged through you but the moment the glass was set safely on the counter, you turned into his arms to face him, lacing your fingers into his shirt buttoned ever so lazily. And the move brought your mouth mere inches from his, your bodies practically pressed tight to one another.

There was greed on your lips, greed you wanted him to taste.

“Jake, I want you,” you whispered without even an ounce of shame, finally giving in to what you had been fighting all evening.

It was met with his eyes winding tightly shut as a blow of frustrated air pushed from his lungs. “Don't do that to me,” he shook his head. “That's not fair.”

“You're right, it's not fair-”

Your lips were practically on his when he suddenly pulled back several steps, out of your grasp.

“This can't happen,” he said sternly, although whether that was for you or for him you weren't entirely sure.

What you were sure of though was the embarrassment seeping into your very being. And then the guilt. They seemed to freeze you in your place.

God, what am I doing?

What was worse was that you had thought he wanted you too. Had you read it all wrong? Had you read everything wrong? Was he only entertaining you because he could see your desperation so plainly in everything you did? Was it only pity he felt for you?

Josh had no time for you and now Jake didn’t want you either.

You took a few steps away from the sink, aimless, wandering, before your face fell into your hands, to hide it, to soothe yourself, to try and disappear.

“I’m sorry,” you repeated frantically, practically in a panic. “I don't know what I'm doing. It's just…it's not working.”

“You need to tell him that.”

God, the sympathy you now heard in his voice might have made you feel even worse.

“He knows that.”

“Babe-”

“I plan to,” you burst suddenly, hands falling away from your face to make way for the much louder sentiment, as unsure as it sounded. “I'm going to,” you repeated, “I just thought…”

You trailed off into nothing, totally defeated. You weren’t sure what you had thought but god, you were tired of this. Why was this so difficult? Why was this so complicated? Why hadn’t Josh just shown up like he was supposed to?

You looked to Jake somehow hoping he could give you the answers you were searching for but he looked just as confused, just as lost. And the longer you looked the more he looked…something else entirely.

“Why are you doing this?” he asked almost desperately.

You stuttered. “I mean…I think it's obvious. Or…maybe it isn't, I don't know, I just-”

“We can't be together,” he suddenly blurted out.

If his previous rejection hadn’t hurt, this certainly did. And it brought back to you the words he had said two weeks ago on the couch over pizza and comfort, only this time they seemed to form a coherence they hadn’t quite had when he’d spoken them then.

‘He knows I'm not the answer’.

And then the words that cut a little deeper. A little sharper.

‘Maybe that's why he sends me. He isn't worried about it’.

You wrapped your arms around yourself, all-too aware of what your body language was giving away. You had read it all wrong.

“I…I know that,” you answered quietly, pathetically, even though it wasn’t the truth. Not even close. “I know that.”

His eyes found your face again, this time more frantic, like he knew what he had just done but didn't have any choice in the matter. He raised his hand to your elbow, leaning in as he gripped you. He might have shaken you to try and get you to understand what he was saying if he thought that would go over better than his fingers alone.

“Listen to me, I'm telling you you need to do the right thing. He's my brother. But I can't…I can't be your answer.”

Those damn pesky tears were back, and with a vengeance. If you didn't dart out of there sooner rather than later, you'd be nothing but a puddle of salty water on his kitchen floor and you suddenly had no desire to let him see you that way.

There was anger there too, as misplaced as you knew it was, forming just as quickly and swelling into something so hot it practically blurred your vision. You felt almost lied to. Talk about fucking mixed signals. But you let out a long, terse, “okayyy” without even meeting his eyes, already mentally planning your escape.

“I love you, I do. I love you too much to-”

Bullshit.

“No, I get it,” you interjected before he could drive the knife any deeper. “It's good to know where you stand. Thank you.”

He called out for you more than once but it fell on deaf ears. You were already out of the house.

—

“Where were you?”

Good God, can’t the universe give me a break?

Josh's voice coming out of the near darkness startled you. You knew he was there. You'd seen his car in the driveway when you pulled in. But something about it felt like he was catching you in the middle of sneaking out. Or rather, sneaking in.

“I was out,” was all you said as you sat your things down and kicked off your shoes. You prayed your eyes weren’t still red and puffy from the crying you did on the car ride home.

“Just out?”

There was concern in his voice. You could hear it without even fully seeing his face where it was, shrouded in shadow that seemed all too fitting for the conversation you knew very well was about to be had. He could have easily been hiding from you. Fuck, you wanted to hide from him too.

You wanted to spare him the sigh that was brewing in your chest but it barreled out of you before you could stop it. “I needed to get my thoughts together,” you explained as you stepped further into the house and into the hall where you could better see him.

That was a mistake.

There was already pain in his eyes. Already a redness that you suspected was from his own tears. He knew where this was headed as well as you did.

Fuck, this might actually kill me.

“Why doesn't that sound good?” He gave you a nervous chuckle and the only smile he could manage, both of which fell flat.

“Josh, I…” There was actually nothing coming to your mind, try as hard as you did to think of the right thing to say. To think of anything to say for that matter. But he took pity on you instead and cut right to it. Something you might have been thankful for under any other circumstances. Well, maybe you still were thankful for it given these circumstances.

“I know,” he said without prompting. “I've been spread so thin lately-”

“For a while,” you corrected, only a tinge of the bitterness you felt biting into your tone. “And it's not really feeling like ‘spread thin’ so much as it is not making the time for…certain things. Things that should be a priority.”

Well that certainly sounded bitter.

“I know, baby. I've been wrapped up in a million little things. We're working on a new sound but it has required more of me than the others.”

You felt yourself wince at the pet name, a lump in your throat forming almost out of nowhere and suddenly threatening to strangle you.

You fought against it to push the words out. “Josh, I hear you, I really do, but this just isn't sustainable for me.”

He nodded at this but you could tell he was deep in thought. And his silence seemed to drag on for an eternity. Agonizingly. But when he finally broke it, you found yourself missing that silence.

“Does this have something to do with Jake?” he asked, raising his eyes to yours to undoubtedly impress upon you the importance of the question.

Suddenly you felt cold despite the sweat practically pooling in your palms and the heat flaring in your ears. You couldn't face him and tell him that you had fallen for Jake after all of the late nights you'd spent with him. You couldn’t admit to him the embarrassing truth that you had gone to seek him out, lying to yourself about why the whole time. And you certainly couldn’t admit to him how often you had thought of his brother when you found yourself alone over the past few months. But Josh seemed to glean every last one of those secrets from your silence alone.

“Where were you?” He finally asked the question you'd skirted around when you'd arrived home.

You didn't rarely hear Josh with anything you could call stern in his voice but you heard it now in his question. And his eyes begged the answer from you just as desperately as his tone did.

That was when you began to feel the tears well up for the second time that night. Your undereyes wouldn’t recover until the next week.

“Josh-” you croaked out, although he didn't seem to need you to finish whatever thought you were weakly stringing together into words.

“I shouldn't have let him do it. I shouldn't have let him near you that way.”

“It wouldn't have mattered,” you tried.

“Yes it would have. We wouldn't be here right now if I hadn't pushed you into his arms.”

“If it hadn't been him, I would have just been alone. All alone, Josh.” Even with the tears streaming silently down your face, you said his name pointedly enough that his shoulders seemed to slump and whatever anger was brewing for his brother was waning. “All alone for months and months thinking my boyfriend couldn't care less. Hoping I would at least get a text from you that time rather than Jake acting like some sort of carrier pigeon, as if that was any replacement.”

You'd never seen him so hurt. You'd never seen his face droop and fall that way, his lips melting downward at the corners and the liquid warmth of his eyes almost freezing over. Even his curls seemed to lose their bounce. He was wilting right in front of you and it only made it harder to breathe. It only made it harder to stand there and face him and say whatever the fuck it was you’d been putting off for that very reason.

If you don't do it now, you never will.

You wiped at your tears as best you could, trying to pull yourself together. “It hurts me,” you started. “Having you so close and yet so far constantly, it hurts me and I just can't do it anymore. And I don't want to wait until I resent you. I can't sit around waiting for that to happen. It'll kill me if I ever feel that way for you.”

Tears were now pouring down his face as he shook his head. “I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.”

If he said anything else, you could barely hear it above the racing of your heart in your chest and the dam breaking somewhere behind your eyes. It was like a tsunami when it came, folding you over until you slumped around yourself on the ground to let it wrack through your body. And he was there just as quickly, holding you despite the fact that he most certainly didn't have to. Clinging to you and his sorry's.

You weren't sure how much time passed as you sat there. You could hardly feel it ticking through your tears and a feeling that felt awfully close to regret. You couldn't feel the passage of the wind and the world beyond the strength of Josh's arms holding fast to your form, knowing that when he let go, he wouldn't have this opportunity again. It almost felt cruel, like a moment you should have had among many others but was stolen away from you all at once. So you basked in it. You bathed in it. You memorized his touch and his smell and the way it felt to be supported, even if you hadn't felt it in a while.

You had your reasons, you knew that. Had to remind yourself of it, even. But at the moment, you had nothing but him.

The tears always dried though. They always racked your body and stripped you of your strength and energy and when they vacated, just like they always did, you were left sitting, leaning against the wall of the hallway, in an almost daze-like state. Stuck in a limbo between sorrow and anger and humor. Every emotion you had seemed to sit at the edge of your being waiting for a moment to pounce in a state like this, and you were always left wondering what would take hold next.

Josh mimicked your movements, sitting opposite you like a mirror into what you probably looked like. And for a while, you sat in silence.

“I just want you to be happy,” he said after several moments. “That's all I've ever wanted.”

You nodded and sniffled, wiping your eyes and your nose with the back of your hand like a toddler.

“I know.”

“I mean it.”

I know.

You nodded again but this time when you spoke, your voice was even.

“I know.”

You tapped your fingers against your knee, butt going numb against the hardwood floor and eyes feeling stiff at the corners thanks to the dried tears accumulated there. And it was funny in a way that really wasn’t funny at all that as you sat there and stared at Josh silently, you couldn't help but think to yourself how beautiful he was.

Fucking twins.

“Does Jake make you happy?” Josh asked suddenly, studying your face.

The short answer was yes but the long answer?

‘He knows I'm not the answer’.

“I don't know,” you admitted. And you hoped he believed you when you said it because you really didn't.

You liked how he made you feel. You liked that he was there when no one else was. But was he the answer? You had no idea, actually. Maybe you wanted him to be more than he actually was. Or maybe, just maybe, you just liked having sex with him.

Ha. Well, that's at least some of it. Not that it matters anymore.

You were shamelessly giggling to yourself at the entirely humorless situation you found yourself in even before Josh joined in, bringing his hand to hide his mouth like he was in on the secret joke and attempting to keep it just that, a secret.

“You should probably decide before I have a chance to kill him.” And then after a moment, he added, “Well to be honest with you, I might just kill him anyway.”

You couldn't even explain why but that did you in, spurred a full on fit of laughter. And somehow, Josh found himself laughing right beside you.

Typical Josh. Always a bright spot. Even if it hurt him to be.

—

You hadn't left your house in days. Hadn't washed your sweatpants in as long either. The takeout boxes were certainly piling up too. And had you already finished off the last of your wine stockpile?

Gonna need to hit the grocery store soon. Or Instacart, at the very least.

And when your couch hadn't been occupied by friends spoon-feeding you whatever therapy you needed, be that advice or ice cream, you found yourself alone with more thoughts than you cared to deal with.

And one name in your mind that you avoided at all costs.

You hadn't even texted him that it was over. Hadn't called. Hadn't seen his face or heard his voice or even uttered his name. But God, you felt it, that ache. The longing. The familiar itch that he had scratched for you one too many times that now begged for nails to rake across it.

Relief. You wanted him. You maybe even needed him. That was what the emptiness had shown you. Whatever it was that he even was to you, you missed it. You craved it. But in your hour of need, he was the last thing available to you. And you were certainly stubborn enough not to chase.

Until you eventually weren’t stubborn enough.

You had no idea what had possessed you to rise from the couch that day, throw on a sweatshirt to shield you from the rain, grab your car keys, and drive to his place. You had no idea what possessed you to jump from your car and brave the violent sheets of rain that threatened to topple you as your fist made contact with his door a bit more angrily than maybe it should have. And you had no idea what had possessed you to do all of this just to say what it was you said.

Maybe I enjoy getting hurt.

You weren't invited in. In fact, you weren't even greeted with any words. He seemed breathless the moment he opened the door and his brain caught up with his eyes, whether that was thanks to your unruly appearance made all that much worse by the rain or simply the fact that you were the last person he expected to see standing on his porch after what he had said. After what you had done.

Probably should have run a brush through my hair before coming here.

And then you blurted it out.

“I ended it.”

The rain raged on in an angry war against you but you stood defiantly, like there was some ground there to hold. And maybe there was. It certainly felt like there was. If it wasn't the rain, it was his eyes, staring dangerously into yours and then, even without a single utterance from him still, you saw it. It was undeniable and unmissable.

Jake's eyes flickered down to your lips where they lingered for what felt like an eternity but in actuality was about two seconds. Two of the longest seconds you'd ever felt, waiting for someone to do something about it.

“I just thought you should know,” you added.

And then you left.

[crystallizsch]

A Reunion

yuusha tala x jamil viper (oc x canon) word count: 800+ words cw: n/a??? i guess??? pure fluff jumpscare. notes: takes place post-nrc, several years after graduation, both of them haven't kept in touch in all those years, inspired by this lmao.

Jamil Viper.

That was him alright. Right there. Standing straight and proud with an air of confidence. At least that's what it appeared to be. He always knew how to fool people.

But Yuusha had learned how to see through his disguise.

She had to admit, he'd changed — at least on the surface, mostly. But she still recognized him to be the same as ever. Jamil still kept his hair long — styled in intricate braids and decorated with golden accessories.

Oh, how she wanted to run her hands along those silky tresses again, hearing the soft bells ring that were tied in his hair.

And then he turned.

Shit.

The eye contact.

And Yuusha was entranced all over again, falling into the soft darkness of his eyes.

She was quite sure no magic was at play. Not this time.

The girl felt her breath hitch in her throat, her feet heavy and frozen in place, and her arms stuck to her sides. She couldn't move.

But she wanted to run. Run.

That's what she was good at anyway. It seemed like she also hadn't changed.

Would she run towards him or in the opposite direction of where he was?

Admittedly, the latter felt more tempting.

It didn't help that he decided to make the first move. Jamil walked with a strut in his step. He'd look so sure of himself if it weren't for the expression on his face betraying it.

Again, Yuusha could see past his disguise.

Run away. Just run. He doesn't deserve you.

Jamil stopped in front of her as if he was just meeting someone casually. Although looking at him, his face was plastered with so many emotions—guilt, sadness… relief?

He was the first to speak.

"Yuu, I—"

As if compelled by a powerful force, Yuusha pushed herself into his arms the moment his voice reached her ears. She let out a shaky breath as if she had been holding it in this entire time.

Jamil stood there momentarily stunned. He had expected a slap, a punch, some kind of verbal abuse, or simply just a pained look on her face that would guilt him to hell and back.

He didn't expect…

This.

Yuusha didn't expect to fold this way either. All her feelings of anger, bitterness, and resignation throughout the years dissipated as soon as she buried her face in his shoulder.

She missed him. She missed him so much.

There was a heaviness in her heart that was lifted. A heaviness she didn't even realize she had been carrying.

Jamil's arms awkwardly floated around her sides, not knowing what to do with them. When she embraced him tighter, he finally felt his disposition crumble against his will.

His arms snaked around Yuusha like a whiplash, burying his face in the crook of her neck as he squeezed his eyes shut. He'd gotten taller since then. It was funny seeing their height difference now, although Yuusha was still fairly taller than the average girl.

Jamil thought this to himself as if to try to distract himself from tears forming in his eyes.

He hated to admit it, but he missed this just as much. He missed her embrace. He missed her presence.

But Jamil had no room to talk because he had caused this anyway. He was the one who had denied himself these feelings.

They didn't know how much time had passed until they decided to finally, regrettably, pull apart. Both of their faces were visibly flushed.

Yuusha sniffled with a teasing smile on her face. "It's been a while, vice housewarden."

"You can't call me that anymore… prefect," Jamil quipped back.

Yuusha let out a genuine laugh.

He missed that too — their banter. The sound of her voice, her laugh, the way her eyes flickered with mischief, and how her lips quirked up with childlike joy.

It was as if all those years without each other were nothing but a blink in the grand scheme of things.

Jamil didn't want to lose this again. Not anymore. He'd make sure of it this time.

[girlgenius1111]

i can't hide from you like i hide from myself

part 3 of cool about it. reader almost relapses. almost.

tw for mentions of self harm.

Recovery was just as hard as you remembered it; the only difference was that you didn't know how the hell you did it without Alexia the first time. She had kept her promise; she was right there with you, every second of everyday, someone always anticipating what you needed.

The hardest part was getting rid of the guilt you felt; so far, you hadn't struggled with needing to do it again. You were just overcome with shame. You were back in therapy, though, and the necessary adjustments were being made to your medication. Things were looking up. Recovery, though, is evidently not just an upwards slope.

-----

You'd insisted that Alexia go out with her sister and her sister's friends. She'd been by you side constantly, and you knew she needed to get out. You weren't really feeling up to that yet, though, so you assured her you would be fine, and all but shoved her out the door.

In your defense, you hadn't been feeling bad when she'd left. Alright, maybe a little down, but nothing you couldn't handle. You'd had a calm night in, watching TV and catching up on emails. You were doing alright, admittedly excited for Alexia to return home.

The catalyst was a simple nick in the shower; you were shaving your legs, mind on the next day's practice, when you felt a sharp sting. You dragged the blade to the side slightly on accident, and there was a small cut on your shin. You dropped the razor in shock, watching in horror as blood dripped from the wound.

You hadn't done it on purpose. You hadn't. Suddenly, though, all you could think about was doing it on purpose. Somewhere in your panicked brain, you remembered that this was an addiction, like any other addiction. Even if you didn't want to do it for the normal reasons, your body still craved the release.

It would have been so easy to just give in. Alexia wasn't due home for a few hours, and you were already bleeding. You shook your head, trying to clear your thoughts, picking up the razor and chucking it out of the shower, into the sink. You washed the remaining conditioner from your hair, hands shaking, before shutting the water off and climbing out.

You didn't even want to look at the cut on your shin. It was a combination of reminding you of what you'd done just a few weeks ago, and what you desperately wanted to do right now.

You left the bathroom, getting dressed quickly, before forcing yourself to apply some pressure on the cut. It wasn't deep, or serious by any means, but shins had the tendency to bleed a lot, and if you didn't want to drip blood all over your apartment, you had to do something.

Your hands continued to shake as you held a washcloth over the cut, and you felt your control slipping. You were panicking, and you knew what you should do. What you needed to do. Without letting yourself think too hard, you grabbed your phone off the bed, sitting down on the ground. You clicked Alexia's contact, reminding yourself that she wanted you to call her, she'd told you to call her.

"Hola mi amor! Everything alright?" She asked, clearly trying to mask her alarm at the call from you.

"Yeah, um. I mean, no. I'm sorry. Can you come home? I need you." You said weakly. Alexia's tone shifted instantly, and you heard her tell someone, presumably her sister, that she had to go, before she was speaking to you again.

"Of course, mi amor, I'm leaving right now, I'll be there in 5 minutes. Stay on the phone with me, vale?" She said, and you let out a hum of agreement. She didn't ask you to explain, or ask you what was wrong. She knew that you needed her, and that was enough for her to speed home. The sound of her breathing over the line was enough to keep you grounded, until you heard her shut the car door behind her, rushing up into the house. "I'm coming up, okay? Where are you?"

"Bedroom." You mumbled. You were really starting to panic now, head spinning with anxiety. You heard the front door open and close, and Alexia's fast footsteps as she rushed towards the bedroom. She threw the door open, her phone forgotten in her hand, as her eyes frantically searched for you. The minute her eyes met yours, and flew down to your leg, you realized what it looked like.

"Oh, mi amor," she sighed, and you couldn't help but feel like she was disappointed in you.

"It wasn't on purpose, Ale, I promise, it was an accident," you told her frantically. She moved to sit down next to you, moving your hand away from your shin as she inspected the cut.

"Okay." she said, believing you. Still, you insisted, not really hearing her response.

"I was shaving and the razor slid, I promise, I didn't do it on purpose, Alexia," you cried, and it sounded like you were begging her to believe you. With her free hand, she cupped your cheek, shushing you.

"I believe you, mi amor, it's alright. I'm here, and everything is fine," she told you soothingly. You were still panicking, though, still completely distraught, eyes glued to your shin.

"Look at me, bonita, eyes up here," she said, drawing your attention away from the cut. She gripped your chin gently, holding your gaze there. "Deep breath in, with me," she told you, exaggerating a deep breath. You stumbled over another inhale, but Alexia's attention stayed on you, reminding you when to breathe in and out.

With her help, you managed to calm down. After a minute of following Alexia's breathing, you opened your mouth. You had to be honest, you had to tell her the truth, before you lost your nerve.

"It wasn't on purpose," you said again, and Alexia looked at you sympathetically, nodding her head. "I almost did though, after. I almost did it again," you told her brokenly.

"Okay, mi niña. You didn't though; you called me instead," she reminded you. "You asked for help when it would have been easy not to, and I am so proud of you, bebe," Alexia insisted. You looked at her uncertainly.

"I shouldn't have freaked out, though, I don't know why I did," you reasoned, not really prepared to except her praise. Alexia shook her head, though.

"No, amor, that's not true. What happened before was traumatic, and this was something so similar to that experience; it makes sense that this was really upsetting to you." She sounded so sure, so convinced, you couldn't help but internalize her words, just a little.

"I'm sorry you had to leave dinner," you told her quietly, still feeling incredibly guilty.

"Don't be sorry. I want you to call me when you need me, no matter what I'm doing," she replied. Her words made you feel so loved, but at the same time, you felt so unworthy of that love.

"You're too good to me. I don't deserve you," you mumbled attempting to slightly farther from her. She reached out to stop your movements, lips pursed in dissatisfaction. She hated that you didn't see yourself the way she did; that you didn't recognize that every hard moment was worth it, because the good you brought her was unmeasurable.

"You deserve good, y/n. You deserve everything good. Even when it's hard to accept, even when you don't feel like it. You always deserve to be treated with love, and care, and patience," she paired her words with an arm wrapped around your shoulder, pulling you to lean against her chest, until you were enveloped by her soft sweater, by her comforting scent. "I'd sit with you here for as long as you need me. I love you, and I'm always going to love you, even when you don't feel like you deserve it," she promised.

You tried to burn her words into your memory. You didn't want to ever forget them. Not the way she said them, her chest vibrating under your ear, or the way she spoke slowly, wanting you to hear every sentence.

Leaning up, you softly kissed Alexia's pillowy lips. It was slow, and somehow meaningful. It communicated how thankful you were for her words, for how patient she was with you. She kissed you back, cradling your face like it was breakable, lips moving against yours perfectly. You broke apart after a minute, and you looked up at her, at the adorable way she her eyes crinkled slightly when they met yours.

'Thank you for being here," you said.

"Always," she replied, without hesitation. She'd promised it before, but something about this time was different. You believed her.

-----

soft alexia <3

[bibibbon]

MHA chapter 429

One more chapter to go. MHA is literally ending next week and it still all feels a bit rushed.

"if I hadn't been stabbed maybe I could of saved himiko" I get that ochako is overwhelmed and feels an immense amount of guilt and regret for not being able to save toga but girl SHE STABBED YOU!! you legit done nothing wrong!!!

I get that ochako and izuku were gonna have a talk but it felt so forced/underwhelming. I don't know the whole "ochako has always prioritised others over herself" is a bit inaccurate because she learnt to do that and help others it wasn't something natural for her. She legit wanted to become a hero for financial reasons (you can argue that she did it for her parents but she still did it also for herself). However I did enjoy the callbacks to izuku's tad bit of intropsection like holding peoples hands to make others feel better but dam it's so miniscule. Also I was hoping that we might be able to address Izuku's feelings in this chapter but I guess not (sigh Izuku you got so watered down to a criminal level that is)

Class A arrives is cool but due to the lack of scenes with them together the whole found family fiasco fulls apart

Eri singing and dancing is absolutely adorable

Monoma getting statue (the guy got robbed in the war arc so hori probably gave us this)

Still not sure how the hero system has changed. All they did was expand the bill charts aka the rankings system and all is still there but now they're putting in civilians and other people overall I still think it's the same and would probably be easy for history to repeat itself

The old lady reaching out to the mysterious character was actually good however the whole thing does begin to fall apart when you remember that societies hero system hasn't changed and that people legit can't use their quirks to help others cos that would be vigilantism. Also this is the same old lady that saw both chizome's protests (stain) and saw Tenko suffering (shigaraki) so I guess this random women is getting more development than the protagonists somehow!!!!!!

Very much hated how OFA has become something like "it's everyones power/heroism" because ultimately it lacks the build up and the development. Admittedly it also lacks Izuku (the influence and the key member most of all) and I get hori tried to make Izuku that by continually bringing up what Izuku showed them that day which was just regular hero work and nothing out of that so I don't know what he showed.

[fromabasementonthehilll]

Hello! Can I ask for Nat x Fem reader? They are in the wilderness and Nat is the antler queen, just showering her pretty girl with love and protecting her. I NEED HER SO BAD SHES MY DAILY SEROTONIN SOURCE🥺 and maybe R tells Nat that she was and always will be her queen? Thanks xoxo

Antlers

͙⁺･༓☾ - Summary: ‏‏‎Natalie had been crowned, you ‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‏‏‏‏‏‏‎‏‏‏‏‏‏‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎‏‏‎‏‏‏‏‏‏‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‏‏‏‏‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎‏‏‎unknowingly drifted apart, though not for ‏‏‏‏‏‏‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‏‏‏‏‏‏‎‏‏‏‏‏‏‎‏‏‏‏‏‏‎‏‏‏‏‏‏‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‎‎‏‏‎‎‎‏‏‎‏‏‏‏‏‏‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎‏‏‎long.

Pairing: Natalie Scatorccio x reader

Warnings: ...

note: sorry if it's a bit short, I ran out of ideas by the end 🫠

∘₊✧────────────────────✧₊∘

The wilderness had concord with its choice. You watched in disbelief, the crowning of your adored Natalie. Though the secretive disappointment from everyone had been evident, they eventually rested with the fact that they hadn't been chosen, and they kneeled. They kneeled willingly, enlivened to capitulate beneath her reign, and so did you. Gazing up at her with surrender in your eyes, you took her hand into yours, kissing it softly, your vulnerable eyes never leaving hers as she watched you with adoration.

-

The worship Natalie was rewarded with by everyone after the crowning was sickening, you knew it had to happen, and she deserved it - but vigilance lingered in you. All of a sudden she was surrounded in a craze of devotion, her time for you had seemingly dissipated and you were left stranded, your anger was a poison to yourself, and your submission to her wasn't an alliance with the rest. Natalie caught onto your dissonance, she had bathed in gifts and admiration from others, distracting her from you, and she regretted it.

Most of your time was spent either talking to Lottie, who was one of the only people you still got along with after everything went down hill, or you would sit in the attic with your sketchbook - drawing whatever came to mind. They were dull, insubstantial days. Natalie watched you from afar, glory overwhelming her with guilt. She knew exactly how you felt - as if she could feel the everlasting ache in your bones, so as you sat in the attic as usual, coming to terms with the new situation that made you admittedly uneasy, Natalie had decided to talk to you.

"(y/n)?" Natalie's tone stayed in the air for a moment as you sat with your sketchbook.

"Hey, Nat." It felt wrong to greet her so casually, after all, she was the Antler Queen, you had to show her respect.

"Look I'm sorry, I'm not ignoring you I promise." Her eyes faltered to the ground with a hangdog look, then back up at your sorrowful face. She'd act careful around you lately, breaking the spirit of her title as queen, and you desperately wanted to know why. "What are you sorry for? You didn't do anything," Your voice diminished slightly, admitting to yourself she really had no choice, the wilderness had crowned her and you acknowledged it. "I just need you right now, Natalie." You finished.

"I know."

Her steps were silent, as was the cold night that gnawed into your skin, though you felt it waver into thin air as she sat before you. Her eyes presided you, you fell victim to her power yet again. The look that survived amongst your and her eyes was like a dagger, a numbing to the pain you endured ever since the plane had crashed. Her caressing hands fell onto your face, a smile bringing sunshine to her otherwise despondent expression, "I really missed you (y/n)," she brazened the heavy moment with her shaky words, "I love you, you know that right?"

You just stared at her, letting her voice and words fall into your bleeding heart. It was days since she had said that, weeks, even. All you wanted was to sink into her, to fill the emptiness that was eating you alive, and so you did.

You leaned in, wintry hands finding hers. The passion that stripped you of your defence was dangerously alleviating, and she had been starved of you. Yearning for the taste of you; she pushed in, backing you against the raw oak wall with her brutal lips. You felt her young aching smile amongst her eager movement, and the crucifixion of your suffering had died in tranquility along with your doubts.

-

There were so many unsaid words floating around you and Natalie, but they were told with her actions toward you. It was different than before, this time she had an unspoken power over you, it was a dynamic you didn't question, though.

It allowed her to keep you from harm, your distaste to most of the others was made translucent to her, and she would take it upon herself to regularly check up on you, making sure you weren't upset, that you weren't hurt by anyone - she swore to keep you safe, cradled in her protection.

You'd often overhear people mutter cruel words, that you were selfish and sucked up to Natalie, once Natalie had come up to, "Are you okay?" She asked, rubbing your back as you sat on the porch, cold and hopeless, "I'm scared Nat, I cant do this anymore, it's too hard." She softly looked at you, as if she could look right through the winter snow and into your heart. She kissed you, reminding you of her restless love for you, and you believed everything would suffice, though just a moment later you realised that you hadn't noticed Tai, spitefully spitting her words out to Van, "Who does she think she is? She isn't entitled to any of this." It was a relief that merely the two saw you and Natalie.

You should've been hated there, the way she would treat you so delicately unlike the others.

-

One night you were making out in the attic, she seemed hesitant but wouldn't admit it - eventually she pulled away, giving you a melancholic look. "What's wrong?" Your face began slowly imitating hers, "Nothing, I guess, I mean I don't know." Stammering her words more than you'd ever seen before. "I just don't feel like I'm supposed to, (y/n). I know that I'm meant to like this, and it felt right at first but now it's just... off." Natalie crossed her arms shyly, backing away from you. "What's off?", you wished you could comfort her more, she was obviously disturbed, but your mind went to all the wrong things, to the point where you felt like breaking down.

"I don't feel like a 'queen', at all. I cant keep up this act, It's like I'm incompetent or something, I cant live up to my title, I don't want to disappoint anyone anymore." Her lips quivered with every sentence she spoke, your eyes traced her face gently while she gave you a glance of shame.

It felt like you could see the reflection of her soul in her eyes, like her skull was open and her heart was beating out of her chest.

"You haven't disappointed anyone, Natalie. Do you know how much everyone adores you?"

"But, do you?"

Her words felt like nails on a chalkboard, moonbeams shined onto her cruelly honest expression. How could she even ask you that? Were you that irresponsible that you had forgotten about her? It didn't make any sense to you, none of it did.

"Of course I do, more than anyone in the world," Your voice breaking into a heartful whisper.

"You'll always be my queen, Natalie."

Her mind seemed to leave the gut wrenching thoughts, she just looked at you with her newly hopeful eyes, shoulders falling back down into ease, you beamed helplessly as you watched her relax into your words; she couldn't help but love your smile. "You're gorgeous, (y/n)." Everything felt right, you spent the moment in silence, the kind of silence that only felt comfortable with her.

She didn't gratify the love she had for you to anybody else, it was just for you.

[ineffectualdemon]

What gets me about the whole heartbreak of pushing Binghe into the abyss is if Plothole Hater Cucumber had thought of it for half a second he would have realised the reason the abyss arc had to happen outside of Binghe character growth/torment

If he hadn't pushed Binghe into the abyss Binghe would have been accused of opening the abyss, colluding with demons, and possibly killed

Now OG Shen Qingqiu pushed him in because 1. He hated Binghe and 2. Didn't want the heat of having a demonic student thrown back at him and getting people to look into his past

But Cucumber Qingqiu is different

He could legitimately say that he felt Binghe had a better chance of surviving in the abyss then at the hands of the cultivation world

It could be very well argued that it was a choice between certain death and almost certain death and by pushing Binghe, a heavenly demon, into the abyss he was choosing the option which gave Binghe biggest chance of survival

But he never realises that because

1. He is self admittedly bad at deduction

2. He is consumed by guilt because he knows he has to do this going into the situation so he lacks perspective. His ongoing curse of believed omniscience

3. He's an idiot

I want Shang Qinghua to be perfectly aware of the fact that Binghe wouldn't have survived if discovered by the cultivation world and drop that fact in front of the idiot couple years down the line and they both break something in realisation

[lucysgraybird]

to show hospitality to angels

pairing: billy the kid x reader

warnings: discussions of religion (brief and light)

title source: hebrews 13:2. i think

a/n: hello ! i am not catholic and thus don't know protocol for catholic mass. generally im like religious lite so im really sorry if my discussions of God are sacrilegious in this, it's just how i conceptualize religion. also i don't think they are sacrilegious, im just preemptively apologizing

Billy was not a religious man, but that didn't mean he never went to church. Call it Catholic guilt, call it respecting his ancestors, but he made it to mass on Easter and Christmas and on rare Sundays if he was particularly missing his ma. 

This particular winter morning saw him in the sanctuary for the Christmas morning service, doing his best to be still and silent. Though these holiday services were longer, he preferred them to the ones on Sunday – the church was prettier, decorated for the season, and there was usually more (and nicer) music. The choir stood behind the pulpit, though admittedly he wasn't paying much attention to the full picture, searching for one singer. Someone had a lilting soprano voice that made the world soft and a little fuzzy at the edges; maybe not trained, maybe not clean, but the kind of voice that played on the outskirts of memories of sleepy childhood nights. Through First Noël and Little Town of Bethlehem he scanned the right of the choir, but couldn't identify quite where the voice was coming from. 

Then, for Silent Night, you stepped forward, a worn book of music clutched open to your chest as you gathered your red-and-green ruffled skirts. Billy had made the early New Year’s resolution to be a little more careful about falling in love, but the moment you began to sing he knew that was out the window. There was a slight tremble in your hands, betrayed by the fluttering paper and betraying your nerves at this solo, but your voice soared clear through the chapel anyways. Every worry Billy had went out the window – the cold and snow that were rolling in, the bounty still on his head, the insecurity of his whole life, all gone at the sound of your voice. There was only here and now, the sweeping melody wrapping around him like a blanket.

It was over in a second. The solo, that is. The feeling it had brought him, the peace he hadn't felt in God knows how long, remained for the rest of the service, until he was standing and scrambling to the front after the final prayer to talk to you.

“Miss?” He said, the brim of his hat crushed in his hands.

You turned, face soft and open. “Yes?”

“I just wanted to tell you that you got a real beautiful voice.”

A smile just about split your cheeks, now dusted with a pink blush. “Oh, thank you! I was so nervous, so I'm glad at least one person enjoyed it. I've never seen you here before. Are you new in town?”

Now it was his turn to flush. “I've been here a couple months. I don't make it to church as often as I oughta, I suppose.”

To his surprise, no judgement sprung up in your eyes. 

“There's no set number of times someone ought to come to mass,” you said. “We all have lives. Church is always there when we need a break – or can take one.”

Such a sage statement coming from someone his age, maybe even a little younger, almost made him laugh, but it actually settled the nerves in his chest.

“I thought since you were in the choir, you'd be real pious,” Billy said.

Your mouth turned down in a conspiratorial smile, just this side of letting out a giggle.

“I slip out the back after we sing sometimes,” you confided. “I grew up a preacher’s daughter, and it seems more worth it to me now to go to church when I actually want to be with God, not just because I feel like I have to.”

“I like that,” he said thoughtlessly, and immediately felt stupid for the simplicity. 

It earned him a toothy grin, though, and you brushed your hand against his arm.

“I have to get home now, but I would like to see you again. I'm a teacher at the schoolhouse in town, so you can find me there every afternoon.”

His surprise at your interest in him manifested in silence, and you dropped your hand in shame.

“I'm sorry, that was incredibly forward of me. If-”

“No! No, I want to see you again too. I'll come by the school on, say, Friday? If you're not too busy?”

“Not at all. Just tell me your name, so I know who I'm welcoming?”

“William,” he said, something about you making him desperate to be proper, then desperate to be honest. “Billy.”

“Well, Billy, it was lovely to meet you.”

You cast a glance around the room, then rose on your toes to press a kiss to his cheek before leaving to get your coat. What a strange tableau you would've created, he thought, had anyone seen you: the lips of a preacher's daughter on the skin of an outlaw. It was almost something out of a dime novel. It wasn't until you were surely long-gone that he realized he had never caught your name.

[timperi-fan]

Preview for ch.7 of "If Love Is The Answer, You're Home"

Peri poof-ed into Cosmo and Wanda's apartment— “Mom, Dad! Are you—? Eugh!” —and immediately exclaimed in disgust. 

His parents were on their couch together, Cosmo sitting on Wanda's thigh and peppering her face and neck with kisses. It was pretty chaste, really, but Peri didn't think he would ever be at an age where seeing his parents display PDA wasn't embarrassing and gross. 

What kind of kid wanted to see their mom's neck riddled with their dad's lip gloss?

Wanda made a noise of amusement, keeping her hands exactly where they were on Cosmo's hips. “What do you expect when you poof into someone else's house?”

Cosmo grinned. “Yeah, I thought you learned your lesson after you poof-ed in on us ha—”

“Ah ah!” Peri clamped his hands down over his ears, turning pink with embarrassment. “You said we would never speak of that again!”

His parents, thankfully, decided to have mercy. Cosmo fluttered up into the air, and Wanda patted the couch next to her. 

“Well, anyway, it's wonderful that you're visiting, sweetie! I feel like we never get to see you,” she said. 

Peri stayed floating right where he was. “I see you both nearly every day,” he pointed out. 

“Yes, for work. When was the last time we talked, just the three of us?” Wanda asked. 

It was hard to find the time for all of that when they had godchildren to take care of, admittedly. Peri felt a flash of guilt, but then he saw the puppy-dog eyes his parents were giving him and it passed. 

They hadn't been talking for a while before Peri got assigned a godkid, and that had nothing to do with his parents’ vacation and everything to do with them treating him like a child. 

Peri shook his head. “I can't stay long, Mom, I just—” He forced himself to spit it out. “I came here because I need to see the Hall of Timmy.”

His parents froze.

[smokescreenimusprime]

still reading through your aus and i am in pain wtf--- that depticon spy au??? THE REVEAL IS SO. OW. BECAUSE SMOKESCREEN WOULDNT EVEN HAVE A CHANCE TO EXPLAIN HIMSELF--- like I. HEAD IN HANDS.

NYEHEHEHEHEH >:33333

that's part of the fun tbh <3

and of course the Autobots are angry. Livid if we're being honest. They feel stupid for not seeing it earlier, after all Smokescreen arrived in a Decepticon pod, he'd supposedly managed to escape a prision ship himself and survive the fall of Iacon, he'd been captured again by the Cons and escaped functionally unharmed, he was always weirdly anxious and flighty around them, and they really just feel like they're been played for fools at what seems to be obvious tells in hindsight

admittedly the humans are a bit more hesitant to believe this sudden change, especially whichever human was the one who was traded for Smokescreen. After all, Smokescreen honestly bonded more with the humans than with his "fellow" Autobots. With the Autobots there was always this lingering anxiety and fear that they would uncover his secret, a feeling he hadn't felt since his early days of undercover work

but with the humans...... there wasn't as much fear. The kids were..... well, kids. They didn't know what signs to look out for in spies, they didn't know what he should and shouldn't know about Cybertron, they trusted him completely, so this apparent betreyal....... it hurts them a lot but they're also somewhat hesiatnt to believe it

but yeah, they don't exactly have too much time to deal with all these emotions regarding Smokescreen's betreyal before all of them get a single message from the guy

Run

then they end up finding out that the Decepticon's new base is Literally Right Outside Their Door and they evacuate

(also, since all five humans were kidnapped, this also means that Fowler and June get to join the Autobots on then run :) June is either going to go with Raf (since he's the youngest) or with Ratchet, but I'm admittedly not super sure about Fowler, either Ratchet or he manages to stay behind with Optimus somehow)

now....... this of course raises the question of what happens to Optimus. After all, Smokescreen isn't there to save him, right?

Wellllllllll

what if he was :)

what if after his "return" to the Decepticons, Megatron sorta...... lets him float around. Sure he's angry about his defection, but right now he's more than aware of how much more pain giving Smokescreen some amount of freedom would give him than simply locking him up. If he's in a cell, he's being trapped, but if he's "free"....... well, then that makes it all the more easier for the guilt to eat him alive :)))

(besides there..... really isn't a whole lot a spy with a blown cover can do right now)

unfortunatly, while the guilt part of the plan does work out, it also accidentally results in Optimus's survival and Smokey stealing the Phase Shifter and Forge and giving it to the Autobots

now...... Optimus admittedly doesn't have the best memory of what happened after the base came down ontop of him. The details aren't super great on account of the whole dying thing

However, there are a handful of things he is sure of with the utmost certainty

The Matrix of Leadership wanted to pick Smokescreen had he died

Smokescreen had a chance to take the Matrix of Leadership

Smokescreen didn't

Smokescreen stole the Forge and Phase Shifter from the Decepticons

Smokescreen saved his life

and suddenly Optimus is realizing the whole puzzle surround their newest recruit has become that much more complicated