#ancient greek weaponry

[katerinaaqu]

Odysseus and weapon of choice (a small analysis)

I find it interesting how the majority of artists and art depict Odysseus using bow and arrows exclusively and honestly I can see why. The reason is very good given how his bow is the most iconic weapon we see in the Homeric Poems and a weapon everyone remembers (pretty much the same as the great shield of Achilles if not more) and we do speak on Odysseus's great skill as an archer.

However...

I find it interesting how, ironically, Odysseus's weapons of choice is usually the spear. During the events of the Iliad Odysseus is mostly praised on his skill on the spear (compered to it even with great names like Achilles and Ajax), in most of his battles during the events of the Iliad (for example his fight against Socus and the Trojans in the 11th rhapsody) or in other events like the Odyssey Odysseus is observed to be armed usually with a spear (for example when he wears his armor to protect his men from Skylla he is seen to hold two spears in his hands) or even during the boar hunting scene, Odysseus's weapon of choice was not the bow and the arrow but it was the spear.

The fact that Odysseus has the bow as an iconic weapon is definitely not by chance given how Odysseus is known for his unorthodox methods that prioritize his safety over glorious battles. The bow and arrows usually were criticized as weapons of action by the Greeks as a cowardly weapon, something that is not supposed to be used by a warrior that respects himself. Known archer criticized for example was no other than Paris himself (ironically the same stigma didn't seem to apply to warriors like Philoctetes, maybe because of his fame and his importance as Heracles's companion, or Teucer most likely because Teucer was already stigmatized as illegitimate in some versions and being half-Trojan) It is not by chance that Odysseus begins his revenge against the suitors with a bow and arrows. It is a weapon that allows a cunning person deal damage from a distance and manage to ensure the odds being with himself given how he was surrounded by hostile men and he needed to even the odds as much as he could without engaging directly. However I find it extremely interesting how in combat Odysseus holds the spear as a weapon of choice, engaging more in close-range battle (even if not as closed as swords would permit)

In one way this signifies his duality in such a poetic way.

Arguably the bow and arrows unless shot through someone's vitals, is not a lethal weapon, at least not directly (thus Odysseus performing killing shots to the neck -Antinous- or the liver -Eurymachus-) and its aim is to cause damage enough to get someone out of battle, potentially occupying yet another person that shall take them to safety. Normally an arrow through a shoulder, a foot or an arm would not cause lethal damage especially through armor.

The spear if used properly is much more lethal weapon in combat. Odysseus is infamously seen doing a fair amount of killing using spears or swords for example killing Socus by stabbing him through the heart from the back or killing the boar by stabbing it to the shoulder. The weapon can also go through someone's vitals much easier given how it is used as close range weapon so someone has a visual contact with their opponent. A spear also even if it pierces an arm it can still sink deeper if the wielder keeps pushing it to an opponent.

This duality is also fitting Odysseus. On one hand he is a cunning person who wishes to deal damage to his opponent as much as possible. In that area an arrow would do the job; forcing an opponent to be nullified (potentially killed in the near future by infections to the wound) while occupying yet another person that would carry them out of the battlefield. and yet Odysseus apart from his viscous hits is a deadly fighter; someone who goes for the kill. With his strength and technique the killing shot can be delivered with a spear

However another duality can be seen

A bow requires precision, calmness and cunning to be drawn and aimed. Stability in hand and eye and good eyesight. It is a weapon of someone who knows the best strategy is to be away from battle, away from the main action. Which is what Odysseus does many times over

A spear requires technique, strength and power to be thrust properly and used and cause the maximum damage to the opponent and good hand coordination while fighting an opponent straight into the field of action but having in mind some distance between yourself and your opponent which again Odysseus does very often

Odysseus of course prefers to stay out of the field of action, perform his strategies when it is the proper time for him to go out at the field and get involved there. He doesn't care what name he gets as long as he survives another day. On the other hand Odysseus wants and craves praise and glory like any other warrior even if he doesn't always pursue it with the cost of his own safety. That purpose serves a direct battle, into the action and in the field. The spear that represents this more ferocious and proud side of his is definitely not a coincidence in my opinion. Odysseus is definitely a man prone to violence especially in battlefield and he aims for lethal force which is served better with a spear than a bow and arrow especially in times of pressure within the battlefield.

Cunning vs Strength, Caution vs Bravery, Survival vs Glory

His sides are served by the fact that his iconic weapon is a bow but his weapon of choice is a spear.

But what do you guys think? Leave your thoughts below! ^_^

[whencyclopedia]

Hellenistic Warfare

When Alexander the Great died in 323 BCE, he left behind an empire devoid of leadership. Without a named successor or heir, the old commanders simply divided the kingdom among themselves. For the next three decades, they fought a lengthy series of wars - the Wars of the Diadochi or Wars of the Successors - in a futile attempt to restore the tattered kingdom. Although the Hellenistic Age saw Greek language, art and philosophy flourish throughout Asia, there were few advances in military tactics. Instead, it was a time of “kingdoms and their armies.” The successors inherited an army borne out of the reforms of Philip II of Macedon. He was an innovator; the first Greek to master siege warfare, and with his son Alexander, they made Macedon the foremost power in both Greece and Asia. Together, Alexander and his father would create an army unlike anything the ancient world had ever seen.

Philip's Military Reforms

From his father Amyntas III and brother Perdiccas III, Philip acquired an army that was badly in need of restructuring. On his ascension to the throne in 359 BCE, he realized that the old ways were no longer dependable. He immediately initiated a series of major military reforms. To begin with, he increased the size of the army from 10,000 to 24,000, and enlarged the cavalry from 600 to 3,500. To make the army unified he issued new uniforms and made each soldier swear an oath to the king. A soldier was no longer loyal to his home town or province but loyal to the king and Macedon. While he retained the traditional phalanx - whose very nature required constant drilling and obedience - he made a number of improvements, adding a more effective shield and replacing the old Corinthian helmet with one that provided for better hearing and visibility.

Among several changes in weaponry, Philip added the ominous 18 foot sarissa which had the advantage of reaching over the much shorter spears of the opposition. Besides the sarissa, a smaller double-edge sword, or xiphos, for close-in-hand fighting was issued. And, lastly, he created a corps of engineers to develop siege weaponry. In the end Philip took a poorly disciplined group of men and turned them into a formidable, more professional army. This was no longer an army of citizen-warriors but an efficient military force, eventually subduing the territories around Macedon as well as subjugating most of Greece. It was this army that helped Alexander to cross into Asia and conquer the Persian Empire, but it was also the same army, with relatively few changes, that the successors used throughout their three decades of war.

Continue reading...

[incesthemes]

since you asked me this question for wincest wednesday...what are YOUR headcanons on the boys' knowledge of languages? :o

YES THANK YOU!!!!!! :) i love talking about languages and supernatural and languages in supernatural

so when i first watched through the show, i actually had a pretty extensive list of languages i thought they would have reasonably acquired some knowledge on:

classical languages (latin, classical greek)

native north american languages (particularly of the siouan and uto-aztecan variety, and navajo, all for geographical reasons)

some modern italic languages (spanish, french, italian, etc), maybe less so modern germanic languages

some old norse (mainly via the two eddas)

some japanese, picked up later in the series and mostly by dean (to honor bobby's memory)

some other ancient or dead languages (aramaic, sumerian, old english, etc)

a very small spattering of enochian, whatever is available for humans to learn

american sign language (sam only)

my reasoning for this was for practical reasons: these are the languages of the cultures that the monsters they hunt originate from, and so the lore is going to be accessible only or predominantly through those languages. especially later in the series, you see them interacting with non-english texts quite often (whether or not they know the languages in question is up to that episode writer's whims, i guess, continuity be damned). i also like the interpretation of both sam and dean as being highly self-educated, and since they're both rather serious about hunting, this would be a natural extension of the knowledge they'd need to acquire to actually excel in their work. for this headcanon, i really like dean being more practical in his knowledge of languages and sam being more academic because it aligns with their areas of specialty in hunting :3

HOWEVER, when i started my rewatch, i also watched the pilot commentary with eric kripke, and he said something very striking to me:

Blue collar, low tech guys and their weaponry should be blue collar, greasy, worn down. It's always been really important to me. I'm mean—I'm just—I'm from a small town in Ohio, and you know, it's always been important to me that these guys just be, you know, Motorheads... and... love classic rock... and know how to handle a chainsaw, and that was to me, more interesting than—spells and magic. And... even to this day in the writer's room they always bring that stuff up, and I'm always like, 'Forget it! Where are the chainsaws?'

it's very obvious in the final product that this was the intention of course, and as i continued to watch i kept this vision in mind. there are three things that have stood out to me since then:

in 1x04, sam tells dean that "christo" is latin for god. it's actually greek (for christ, not god), and it would also be in the wrong declension, which could imply that sam actually isn't really familiar with greek or latin. this could imply that sam is actually just parroting something he's been told in the past (probably by john), without actually knowing it himself

in 2x04, dean flips through a book in ancient greek, and later when they dig up angela's coffin, they find more greek lettering on the inside. dean calls the letters "symbols" which could imply he's not familiar enough with greek to even know what kind of writing system it has, or to recognize greek writing for what it is. sam, too, seems equally baffled at the "symbols"

in 5x05, sam interviews a hispanic woman in somewhat awkward spanish. when dean asks about it, sam replies "freshman spanish," meaning he hasn't learned beyond a freshman, introductory level of the language, and that he learned it through formal education rather than on his own

these moments are super important to me because they really cut through the idea that sam and dean have extensive or even moderate training in foreign languages. instead, they paint the picture of rather sheltered kids who were largely kept away from the world or only limited in their exposure. i imagine, from this, that john was the one who did most of the research on their hunts, and if sam or dean participated they were relegated to controlled, prescribed roles. especially from the 1x04 example, i can extrapolate that they probably haven't examined the information they've been given too deeply; it implies a level of blind trust in john's skill, to the extent that sam isn't even aware of what language he's speaking in to reveal a demon.

as a result my most up-to-date headcanon is that sam and dean both grew up entirely monolingual, and that they didn't actually even start acquiring new languages (sam's freshman spanish exempted) until their network was cut out from under them (bobby's death and then garth's disappearance) and they found the bunker, with its myriad resources to research and study and its stability to house a library for those purposes. before then, i can see them picking up on very minor latin, like a few words here and there, but not actively pursuing any of this learning until they were forced to learn it themselves. what languages they know or how deep their knowledge goes is wildly contradictory in canon so that means i can do whatever i want, which is exactly the point where i wrap back around into my initial headcanon and start adding those languages back into their bunker era repertoire of skills.

(for the record i do generally have opinions about how much they each know of each of those languages and where their strengths in language learning lie, because i think WAY too much about this)

to my own dismay (as a lover of languages and linguistics), i've found this interpretation to be much more in-line with kripke's vision of the show, whether or not the more subtle details were intentional or not (seriously, who on the set of this show decided on "christo," i NEED to know). It also gives an interesting dimension to their early life as being highly sheltered and isolated and kept away from the hunting life while simultaneously being inescapably part of it.

this is a really long way of saying "monolinguals," but in my defense i've been building this interpretation and headcanon for nearly a year straight now. because i pay way too much undue attention to the use of language in supernatural.

[audreyscribes]

Ω PJO MISC. DEMIGOD HEADCANONS:🎭MELPOMENE: MUSE GODDESS OF TRAGEDY🍇

a/n: When you start cooking with Satyrs and Goats and start being sneaky in this. Also we're back with our favourite (only) Camp Director, Mr. D! [PJO MISC + MUSE DEMIGOD H/CS MASTERIST: [AO3] \\ [TUMBLR]

Alright out of the muses, you have the flair for dramatics, particularly for the macabre variety. You’re often described as being dramatic yet very serious in your pose. How, no one knows but you pull it off.

Melpomene is the Muse of Tragedy, and while you know all of William Shakespeares’ tragedies not only Romeo & Juliet and Macbeth, you’re very good at remembering Julius Caesar, Timon of Athens, and Titus Androncius, you’re first and foremost familiar with the Ancient Greek Tragedies of Sophocles, Euripides, and Aeschylus.

In terms of play and theater management, you’re the one leading it most of the time out of the muses and in turn, you’re the one who interacts with Mr. D the most. Not surprising because particularly Greek Tragedy, were also used as ritual rites while both being carried out by and dedicated to Dionysus so if anything he’s going to have a few says. He’s the Theatre director and you’re the producer basically; or the other way around. It gets confusing sometimes.

Despite Mr. D’s casual reference they used to sacrifice goats, you came to a compromise: the goat would be used as a mascot for the plays and theaters, instead as a sacrifice, but in turn you would allow any Satyr to take any part if they chose to.  

In terms of weaponry, your preferred weapon is the sword as Melpomene is portrayed holding a sword. Alongside though, you’re also known to wear a mask into battle, another of Melpomene’s symbols. 

What no one expects is that you insist on wearing boots. Not just any boots like rainboots or uggs, but Buskin boots or something similar to Cothurnus boots; boots that go to at least your knee or half way up your calves as Melpomene is shown wearing them. You have a large variety of boots that fit any occasion and you can smoothly walk across the stage and fight just as well even in your platform boots. Many Aphrodite children and even Ares children ask for tips how you wear these boots so well. 

The Sirens could also be considered your half-siblings which explains somethings as your chanting during your theater productions charms the soul of your listeners, and also explains many of the tragedies the Siren orchestrate in front of them as they tempt sailors to their deaths. On the other hand, your singing/chanting reveal your audience the themes of human nature and the dealings with mortal rights and wrongs, thus giving them enlightenment in each individual.

What is unexpected is that because of your knowledge in tragedy, that deals human nature, moral rights and wrongs, and your in depth knowledge of Sophocles and Euripedes, you’ve also become a person who provides great psychological and philosophical thoughts and discussion. Mr. D has given you some coaching in peoples’ mental healths and dreams, so you’re not alone with that responsibility.

You’re often approached by Apollo children who want a couple of insights in their patients, approached by the Athena children for some deep thought, and in general, you often hold a theater session about these subjects. 

[obsessivegirlie]

A very spontaneous theory but I have not come across anyone talking about it. So, quite some time ago, I came across the assumption that Camila and Charles wanted to resemble the ancient gods through incest. And now studying Greek mythology in more detail I was like: WAIT I ALREADY SAW THIS.

So these two little perverts look a lot like Artemis and Apollo. Obviously, they are all twins. Richard describes Camilla as a girl with masculine features. Artemis was also a super masculine goddess (hunting type, great weaponry, loathing men, literally slay queen).

On the other hand, one of the most mentioned features of Apollo was his extremely handsome appearance JUST LIKE IN TSH, where Charles is also always described as very attractive.

This is very far fetched but interesting in some point (btw Apollo and Artemis were never in a romantic or sexual relationship with each other lol).

[wavytam]

Sanji/Germa Kingdom and Uranus

As I've read some theories about the Ancient Weapons, something about Sanji specifically caught my attention. It's probably more of a big coincidence rather than something Oda planned, but I found it interesting nonetheless and wanted to share with whoever reads this.

So, by now, everyone has already noticed that the three weapons have a connection with three Greco Roman deities, who in turn are connected with the three last planets of the solar system (when Pluto was still considered a planet).

Along with that, a lot of people noticed that the Straw Hats' three main fighters (after Luffy) each have a connection with these weapons through their mothers' name and/or titles.

Pluton-> Pluto (Roman)-> Hades (Greek name)-> God of the Underworld (Hell)-> Underworld-> Earth (Tera is his mother) -> Zoro: King of Hell

Poseidon-> Neptune (Roman)-> Poseidon: God of the Seas-> Sea-> Jimbei: First Son of the Sea/Knight of the Sea

Uranus-> Father Sky, the personification of the Heavens (before Zeus took over)-> Sky-> Sora (Sky) Vinsmoke and Sora, Warrior of the Sea -> Sanji

But there is another connection, at least for the two first weapons: their locations also were deeply connected with Zoro and Jimbei. How?

Jimbei is from Fishmen Island -> that's where Poseidon is located.

Zoro's ancestors came from Wano -> where Pluton is located

This could be just a very odd coincidence that Oda might not have noticed he did, but let's assume, for the sake of this theory, that it was planned.

With the connection that Sanji shares with Uranus, it might also give us a hint as to where it might be hidden, or was hidden.

If this connection was made on purpose, we have two possibilities:

1. First one is the Germa Kingdom. We can suspect that Sanji's origin story still is not over and the past of the Vinsmokes still is a bit mysterious to us. We heard that they were taken down by the Marines because they were tyrannical rulers, but there's a big chance it was a lie (Oda even let this idea hang in the air through Vito).

The Marines and WG love to spread fake rumors through propaganda to discredit their enemies. They did that with Kuma, who might not have been a tyrannical ruler, but only an enemy of the WG.

Thia part of the theory will be more of speculation and I needs a lot more evidence in the manga, but let's do it for fun.

We can suspect the GK probably was a threat to the WG not because of its tyrannical rule (we have seen a lot of tyrant leaders in OP and most of the time, nothing is done to stop them as long as there is no threat to the WG), but because they might've been hiding something related to the AK OR threatening the rule of the WG in some way (or both). I always found it interesting how Oda chose to make GK a powerful Kingdom, so powerful it was able to rule over the entire North Blue.

And the fact that, after Germa's defeat, they decided to publish stories that portrayed the Vinsmokes as villains might indicate that they probably were the opposite and their only real "crime" was to threaten the WG in some way.

As you can already suspect with the beginning of this thread, the crime could have been connected with the Ancient Weapons - and after they lost, the WG probably took their territory and every information and weaponry they had. 

Something that bugs me about Germa too is the fact that they are a country without land to rule over and Judge is actively trying to take the North back but at the same time, they have the recognition of the WG to attend the Reverie. Why? Wouldn't they, even before the WCI fiasco, have realized that?

And if the Vinsmokes once ruled over the entire North Blue, they surely had some type of capital, like Alubarna, right? What happened to that place? Was it destroyed like Ohara? Or is it under the WG's control?

One of the other factors that could go against this theory is that the Germa Kingdom began 300 years ago - 600 years after the Void Century, so there could be no way the Vinsmokes knew about Joyboy like, i.e. Queen Lili did. Or could it?

You see, that period referred to the time when the GK took over the entire North, but they probably existed a long time before that, as an expanding kingdom. We don't really know for how long the Vinsmokes existed and ruled.

2. The other option is that Uranus could have been hidden in the birthplace of Sora, Sanji's mother. However, we do not know her origins, much less the reasons for her to marry Judge. We can reach a little and assume that because of her name, she could have come from a Sky Island? Sanji himself seems to share some interesting connection with the Sky elements (and sters) and in recent chapters a lot of fans pointed out his interest in stargazing and even Oda's weird drawing connecting him with UFOs and even space elements itself. Here are two links for theories I found on the matter:

But this part has even less evidence than the Germa option, so we will have to wait and see.

The fact remains that Germa is probably coming back, and with it we might find out more about its past along with Sora's. And with the manga coming to an end and focusing more on the Void Century, I don't think it's far-fetched to assume that Germa might hold some important connection with it that will surely help the Straw Hats in their future adventures. Only time will tell. Thanks for reading this crazy theory!

Again, I know most of it has no foundation, but I felt like it would be interesting to point out before we got the definite answer. If you have any theories of where Uranus might be hidden, feel free to comment!

[monaluisa]

I always forget how stupid long I made Ancient Greece live in my Hetalia fic universe and then I remember that the most advanced weapon when Argurios (my Sparta OC) died at the ripe old age of about one-thousand years in 387 BCE was like...a catapult. When Romulus died about eight-hundred years later, European weaponry was pretty much the same; he missed Greek fire by about two centuries

HELENA LIVED LONG ENOUGH TO KNOW ABOUT GUNS.

She survived her entire family by like 1600 years and Romulus by almost 1000, and she was like 700 years older than Romulus to begin with.

[semperintrepida]

So on the flip side, what are descriptions and idioms you're *mandated* to use while writing stories set in Ancient Greece?

Oh, what a terrific question, anon. (And for those of you reading this and wondering, "The flip side of what?", this ask is referring to a recent post of mine.)

Not to be glib, but I try not to repeat myself when writing fiction. So with that in mind, I don't have mandates as much as I have a general sense of the kinds of descriptions and metaphors that might fit the time period and, more crucially, the character whose POV I'm writing from.

What does this look like in practice? It means that when I'm writing stories set in Ancient Greece, I seek descriptive language from the natural world, the sea, and the uncanny. The Ancient Greeks were a maritime society filled with keen observers of nature, for their survival largely depended on the vagaries of a dangerous world. There's a reason why their gods were so fickle and cruel.

So I might not have Kassandra explode into battle, but she sure can surge (like the sea), or swoop (like an eagle), or hammer (like the god Hephaestos).

But it's the characters themselves who influence my choice of figurative language. Where Kassandra the misthios would turn first to metaphors of war and weaponry, Kyra would think of the hunt, and of wild places, and the gods. But even that can change from story to story, for the wild huntress Kyra of Elegiad is rather different across the three arcs of The Breaking, where the dark and brutal metaphors of the beginning gradually give way to those of nature and the harvest by the end.

The challenge is weaving it all together in a way that feels true to the character and unique to the reader—even those who've read all 331,330 words of the stories I've posted to AO3.

[kassandras-one-braincell]

ugh when is it my turn to have an irl kassandra i would do anything for her .

anyways what kinds of clothing styles, jobs, or just general day-to-day life (like their houses) do you think modern!kassie/eivor/soma would have?

Pssh, it's not like I've given this any extensive thought in the past or anything... That would be weird... Who would do that haha

I would let's go

Kassandra dresses like a dad who lost his passport in Tenerife on holiday and has been stuck cycling between the same 4 hawaiian shirts since three Tuesdays ago, but owns a few casual suits for work.

She's a historian and museum curator. Specialises in the history of weaponry, occasionally giving guest lectures on ancient swords at universities. Mention any type of weapon and she will not be able to stop herself from rambling about its evolution over the centuries.

Has a pottery wheel. You know that scene from Ghost (1990)? Yeah. Very reliable with the ladies.

Ikaros is her pet eagle, do not ask her how she manages to get him pet insurance because she may have lied about his species.

She has a vegetable garden (her pride and joy, this might as well be her child with how well she takes care of it) and a briki to make coffee with. Kassie always starts her day off with freshly brewed coffee the traditional Greek way, some bread and some fruit, which she always plates too much of because Ikaros likes to steal it.

She's a great cook.

Dozens of books on old weapons are dotted about her home and some (so many. so fucking many holy shit) model replicas because she's a fucking nerd.

You cannot turn a corner inside her home without seeing at least three family photos. Family includes Myrrine, Alexios, Barnabas, Herodotos, Markos, Alkibiades and Phoibe. Nikolaos is in prison for trying to yeet his stepchildren off a cliff.

Phoibe is her goddaughter who calls her "auntie" and Auntie Kass absolutely gives her the world.

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Eivor serves lumberjack realness. Flannels, cargo pants, work jeans, yes she has a tool belt, yes she looks a damn treat in it. All she's missing is the hard hat and the protective visor. The axe is in her workshop.

She wears glasses. This isn't up for debate.

Tattoo artist by trade and has a degree in literature. Her love for poetry knows no bounds. She specialises in black and grey realism and her pieces are breathtaking.

Speaking of poetry, her colleagues bully her mercilessly for being a "big old sap". She has fancy paper to write her poems up on, and a wax sealing kit for handwritten letters. She's old fashioned like that.

Technology is a demon she would rather not trifle with. 100% complains about the need for there to be an app for everything, but she does appreciate video calls so she can see her people.

As a hobby, she pursues woodworking and blacksmithing, sometimes selling her creations. She'd make the engagement ring she proposes to you with herself

Dwolfg (or Chewy, or Mouse) Nali and Dandelion Puff are all beloved members of her household. The neighbours' kids named them all; sometimes she babysits Knud and Sylvi, and of course Eira has to tag along.

Her fridge is full of boring meal prep (you better wife her up and cook for her) but her pantry? Brimming with baking supplies. Ma'am loves to bake. Sure, she eats a lot of grrr protein big strong macro gym buzzword meals, but she loves bread and cake. Big muscles but she likes to eat, so she isn't lean, I'm gonna stop before this gets unreasonably gay

━━━( ͡ಠ ͜ʖ ͡ಠ)━━━

Soma, look, this is gonna be specific, but there's foundations for this in game (her metric fuck ton of rugs in the longhouse). She evidently likes fancy things. Her modern!AU occupation: owner and ceo of a sustainable luxury jewellery brand. Recycled metals, gemstones that are sourced/synthesised sustainably, everything is ethically manufactured and her employees are paid well.

She's from humble beginnings, so she does loads for charity and really enjoys quiet domesticated tasks.

Waistcoats and tie when she's attending businessy things, simple t-shirt or jumper and joggers when working from home. Outside, she wears a few rings that she designed.

Not a particularly great cook, but she's a mean pastry chef. She has a massive sweet tooth. Loves to start her mornings with a homemade croissant and a cappuccino.

There is a post-it note above her desk to reminder her to straighten her posture because she tends to sit like a fucking goblin.

Her home is pretty eclectic, which takes people by surprise given her organised manner. Lots of blankets strewn over the couch, lots of knickknacks she collected over the years, some sentimental ones from Lif and some ruder ones from Birna. A few sketchbooks are scattered about with designs for work.

She has a record player and an ungodly collection of country vinyls. It's okay. Nobody's perfect. It's what makes her human.

Also needs to wear glasses, but wears contacts usually because she insists the specs make her look "old", oblivious to the distant sounds of feral lesbian screaming whenever she puts them on.

[theultrablog]

Pulp Storytime #72: The Palladium Peril! By Paul "Wiggy" Wade-Williams.

In 1938, Austria was invaded. In 1940, London was not. Was a statue to blame?

We open in Verona. Journalist Trudy Truman has an inkling of the story… a Greek artifact that was said to be lost to time. To help her get it, she teamed up with an all-new adventurer, Dr. Hemet Hazoul. He’s a genius with a doctorate in engineering and history… and has all the humility of a Hollywood publicist at award time. He had been "encouraged" by the rest of the staff of his Turkish university to go on permanent sabbatical, and submit his research via correspondence. Rounding out the posse was Tacito Uriel Velasco, lawyer, boxer, and wielder of a Mexican panther spirit, and stuntwoman Lala Santinella. She and her adopted daughter Devika (millionaire, mystic, etc.) were visiting her homeland to work out a few glitches in their relationship. They brought a lawyer because of a little business that was… What’s the word? Elective? "Compulsory," corrected Tacito. Trudy was contacted by a member of British Intelligence. He was being followed, so the best place to talk would be during a local performance of Macbeth. Someone must’ve said the play’s name outloud too much, though. All the agent could divulge was "Minerva, at the pantheon" before being shot. The killer timed it during the witches’ lightning, and despite the lawyer's best effort, the killer got away. Hemet explained, with no degree of humility, the Pantheon was a famous structure in Rome. Lala went under protest, in disguise. She wasn’t popular in Mussolini’s Italy after publicly leaving a Germany/Italy film collaboration. Unfortunately, that very same movie was shooting at the Pantheon! Lala’s old pal and rival, Elena Altieri, was starring in the movie Santinella turned down. The stuntwoman tried to hide in her car, while Trudy used her gift for blathering to distract Director Leni Riefenstahl. The statue itself weighed hundreds of pounds, but with Hemet’s advice, the lawyer moved it aside and looked underneath. There was a gem and a scroll, which claimed a secret would be revealed at the sun’s zenith in the Flavian Auditorium. Wait, what did they call the building nowadays? The Colosseum! The stadium was 30 minutes away and it was 11:40. The group was blessed to have an Italian leadfoot! The group got to the Colosseum with seconds to spare, barely noticing the new platforms and fresh sand. At noon, Hemet directed the sunlight onto a brick on the emperor’s box, burning up a Nazi flag…And springing the trap! Herr Strauss, a Nazi commander with delusions of grandeur, told our heroes the score. They could live with the knowledge they acquired… if they could beat him and his unit in gladiatorial combat. He presented a range of ancient weaponry… And the battle was on! Trudy had always been blessed with a strong nose. Instead of immediately joining the fight, she observed her surroundings… and could smell a very unfamiliar scent. LIONS. The “fair” Nazi challenge was a deathtrap! The professor was used to brawls and ancient weaponry. He held off the brown shirts… but the lions had the opposite effect on him and Tacito that Trudy might’ve expected. Hemet had the world’s greatest ego. The lawyer had the instinct of a panther, and there was no way he’d surrender to another large cat. Lala, brimming with common sense, snuck off to open an escape hatch. Tacito and Hemet kept the lion away from Trudy. After choking the beast unconscious, Tacito flung blood onto his opponents… Making them all the more appealing for the other Pantero leos. Egos assuaged, Trudy led a retreat.

After fleeing, the group laid low at a much less historic venue… Their local library. The Palladium, the object of their search, prevented cities from falling, so there was no way it was still in Rome. But some dusty tomes suggested it’d been moved to Constantinople! It was an awkward homecoming for Professor Hazoul. His rival, Cleric Marduk, had charged him with violating the school's decorum code… By fighting animals in a world wonder. But Hemet had an ace up his sleeve. It was his new friend, one of Earth’s greatest lawyers. Tacito emphasized that the lion fighting had been done in self-defense, and in pursuit of an archaeological treasure. This set Hemet up for some self-serving lies… and the honor committee was completely, 100% on board. The cleric shook his fist as the other panel members suggested that HH could teach ancient weaponry as an elective next semester. Trudy got to the telegraph office to send in her story. Nazis digging up the Colosseum was front-page stuff. She had another contact in town, Stavros “The Bull” Papadopoulos, a merchant mastermind with an interest in antiquities. He agreed to meet her and her cohort at the Turkish baths. Suggested wardrobe: a towel. Papadopoulos, (when not interrupted by Hazoul), explained that the Palladium they saw was in a monastery 70 miles out of town. And completely coincidentally, he had a delivery truck headed in that direction. A spare ride at a reasonable price. Trudy’s astounding senses paid off again… As she heard footsteps down the hallway. Assassins! The fez-wearing killers had the group at a disadvantage, but no sword can defeat the human mind. Especially when that mind belongs to a dirty-fighting professor. He soaked one end of his towel in water, and set the other on fire. The hashish-eaters caused problems, slashing Trudy’s arm badly, but the crew was clever. Tossed braziers set their foe’s robes on fire. Tacito held a goon’s head under the bath. Lala soaped the floor and smashed people in the face with water buckets. Soon, there was gap in the flow of hired killers. The group rushed to the changing rooms, and from there to Papadopoulos’s cousins’s truck. Kristos let Lala drive, but the cabin was cramped. A few people would have to ride in the back. Devika, feeling useless, gave Trudy one of the many crates. Trudy, playing along, opened it up, asking what it was. Devika read the label.

"Nitrog…nitro gly…" "Nitroglycerin."

Yep, Kristos was hauling enough explosive fluid to send the truck into orbit. Not a problem, until a Nazi half-track came around the bend. The party had very little in terms of ranged combat skill. They did have a maniac behind the wheel, so when the Ahnenerbe machine gun opened up, Lala hit the gas like she was driving a Ferrari. And although they needed to cover miles and miles of ground, and couldn’t dodge bullets forever... the group had a mechanical genius on board. His idea was rebellious. It was dangerous. And it was perfect. They had a truck bed full of explosives? Why not just detach the truck bed? Instead of throwing crates one at a time, they unleashed a huge trail of explosive ordinance. Far behind, a commandant demanded his troops check what was in these mysterious crates… And then proceeded, very slowly, to remove them. By the time the nitro was safely disposed of, the players had gotten away. The monastery was a bust. But it could’ve been much deadlier if the group didn’t travel with a design historian. Trudy detected a trap, and Hemet was able to keep the hidden wall blades recessed. Tacito and Hemet examined the corpses of less careful Crusader tomb robbers… skeletons with coins from 14th-century Vienna. Could Austria be the place?! It turns out it was. And after an ambush in Europe’s second-largest graveyard, the group found a gigantic statue of the Pallas Athena! While the antiquarians examined the device, Devika and Lala had some one one-on-one time. Devi was concerned that Lala had gone off the deep end after the failed wedding and Devi’s time in a coma. Lala admitted that things had gotten drastic, but moms were allowed to get a little crazy. Just the way things go. The group hurried. Austria wasn’t a Nazi state yet, but brown-shirts had free reign there. The statue opened a nearby fountain, which led to a cavern containing the Palladium, and a weird electrical grid pattern. Lala was about to unplug it… When Professor HH had a better idea. The group rewired the trap. The fascists might have outnumbered our heroes, but hatred can do very little against electricity. Herr Strauss’s dueling saber was nothing more than a lightning rod. Lala, Tacito and Hemet mopped up the rest. The only thing left to do: figure out where to move the statue! Trudy was loyal to the British crown. Tacito argued that they should honor the sacrifice of the agent who told them about the thing in the first place. Hemet was fine with any option as long as he got to write the archaeological report. The Palladium was stored securely in the tower of London.

Towel Fight by JORDAN PEACOCK!

[albertfinch]

ESTABLISHING THE REALITY OF GOD’S KINGDOM

"Then war broke out in Heaven; Michael and his angels went forth to battle with the dragon, and the dragon and his angels fought. But they were defeated, and there was no room found for them in Heaven any longer" (Revelation 12:7-8 AMP).

Notice the phrase, "there was no room...for them in Heaven" --  the war against principalities involves displacement -- Christ filling the spiritual territories once held by satan.

Because this war in Heaven is difficult for us to comprehend, these questions arise:

How do angels and demons -- beings who do not die from wounds, wage war?

With what do they do battle?

And how do they conquer one another?

POWER OF AGREEMENT

All spiritual warfare is waged over one essential question: Who will control reality on earth, Heaven or Hell?

When it comes to angelic and demonic warfare, the battle rests not in physical weaponry but in the power of agreement between mankind and the spirit realm. We read in Ephesians 6 (NKJV) that "principalities" and "powers" occupy the "heavenly places" (verse 12). But we read in Ephesians 1:10 that it is the Father's expressed purpose to sum up all things in Christ, "things in the heavens and things on the earth."

Ephesians 3:10 reveals God's glorious plan, that "through the Church" God has purposed to make known His manifold wisdom to the principalities and powers "in the heavenly places." You see, as the Body of Christ on earth agrees with its Head in Heaven, the Spirit of Christ Himself displaces the powers of darkness in the heavenly places.

When the Church on earth is aggressive in its agreement with the will and Word of God, then the presence of God increases in the spiritual realm, proportionally displacing the influence of Hell on earth. Shortly thereafter, manifesting in the world of men, we see revivals, healings and miracles. But when the Church is passive, indifferent or carnal, the powers of Hell increase their rule over the affairs of men: marriages break up, crime increases, and wantonness becomes unbridled. We must see that our prayers, attitudes, and agreement with God are an integral part of establishing the reality of the Kingdom of God on earth!

THE WEAPON GOD HAS GIVEN US

From the spiritual realm, satan works to corrupt and control the mind of man through illusions built from mankind's carnal desires and fears. But the power of the lie is not merely the speaking of falsehoods, nor is it that this world is an illusion. The lie of the enemy appears most powerfully when men believe that this world, as it is, is the ONLY world we can live in. The truth is, of course, that God is establishing His Kingdom, and ultimately, every other reality will submit to and be ruled by that Kingdom! (See Hebrews 12:26-28; Revelation 11:15.)

The weapon God has given us to combat the lies of the enemy is the Word of God, which the Scriptures refer to as the "sword of the Spirit" (Ephesians 6:17). Jesus said His words "are spirit and are life" (John 6:63), which is to say that the substance or meaning in Christ's words represents an actual reality: the living Spirit of the Kingdom of God.

The ancient Greeks, in whose language the New Testament was written, had no word for "reality." To them "truth" and "reality" were the same essence. If we seek to experience the true work of the Holy Spirit, we should understand that the Spirit has been sent to establish the reality of God's Kingdom in the lives of Jesus' followers. Thus, as we become one with the Spirit of Truth, and as we fully embrace the Word of Truth, we are brought into the reality of God Himself!

This point is essential: in our war over who controls man's world, the singular weapon God has given the Church is His Spirit-empowered Word. The living Word of the Spirit is the truth.

OUR THOUGHT PROCESSES

Paul taught that spiritual warfare deals specifically with the "pulling down of strongholds."

But what are those strongholds?

They are lies the devil has sown into our thought processes which, as we accepted and believed them, became reality to us. We do not fall into sin as much as we are seduced by it; every sin is cloaked in some measure of deception. But as these lies are uncovered and destroyed, as our thought processes are freed from illusions, we will discover the blamelessness, perfection, and truth of Christ in us, the hope of glory (see Colossians 1:27).

To be successful in life (COME TO KNOW AND IMPLEMENT GOD'S PURPOSE FOR OUR LIFE) we must know the Word of God. For all things come into being through the Word. It is the Word made alive in our hearts (through repeated affirmation and meditation), that builds our faith, and wins the war over reality.

ALBERT FINCH MINISTRY

[nitrosodiumrapidproto]

Art Assets

Yesterday I made this basic dwarf character. After a lot of... mishaps... I managed to position his hammer correctly on the figure. It's blacked out right now, as I need to decide what it will look like. It needs to have contrasting colors to both the dwarf and the background - that is to say, something not especially brown or grey. Being that is the Hammer of Heaven, I did not plan for it to look like a standard weapon anyway. My first idea was pure Minas Tirith white, but it looked censored above anything. My other inspirations, to create both a dwarven and a heavenly/celestial look, were the Ebony and Dwarven weapons from the Elder Scrolls.

This, the Ebony Warhammer from Tamriel Rebuilt, resembles an ancient Greek pot turned into a blunt weapon.

This, the Dwarven Warhammer, looks very striking with the golden elements while also being very mechanical (in the lore, the dwarves/Dwemer were great engineers and alchemists, before they grew so intelligent they realised the boundaries of the universe and promptly disappeared without a trace.)

Daedric Warhammer also looks cool, but it's far too demonic to be a holy weapon.

Taking all this into account, I may create a golden hammer with blue crystalline motifs. Something akin to Ekimu from G2 Bionicle, which was a great inspiration to me throughout childhood.

Now, on the dwarvish character. I knew I would need some sort of fantasy race being that this is a fantasy world, and dwarves are a staple, even going further back than Tolkien to the time they were called Nibelungs. They are immediately recognisable, and given that I was going to be using 16-bit I needed a character design that could be identified at a glance. Short, stout and bearded is immediately recognisable as a dwarf, and I also needed a character who would look right using the Hammer of Heaven. I was inspired mostly by Mjolnir, and given that it was crafted by dwarves in Norse myth, it fits. Also that dwarves usually carry heavy weapons like axes and hammers - an elf with a giant warhammer doesn't seem quite right. And I also needed a traditionally 'good' race, so an orc or goblin wouldn't work.

Lore-wise, I also wanted to make him appear standard and not too powerful. In my own mind, this world's dwarves are the humble servants and craftsmen of the gods, forging holy relics and weaponry in the Crucible. However, now that the Crucible is overtaken and their faith obscured, many dwarves are now wanderers; their purpose gone. Once again the forces of heaven have selected a champion, and while he appears unassuming, it is his willpower and spirit that has led to the Hammer selecting him as its wielder.

This was my final choice, a golden hammer.

[vexic929]

What are your OCs' favorite weapons or fighting styles? What weapons would they want to learn how to use, either for efficiency or just because they think it's cool?

Marco: prefers to sit behind the scenes and control his robots, he should probably learn at least some self-defense honestly lol

Salacia: prefers a shield and her control over water, can also use a polearm, xiphos, and bow and arrow, she'd love to learn some Atlantean fighting styles for Tuatlall <3333

Tuatlall: prefers magic, isn't much of a fan of physical combat

L'Harann: has superpowers (eye lasers best!!!) but is also good with her fists without them, she'd probably do well learning kickboxing

Experiment 929: likes to use her newfound superstrength to throw things like cars

Lea: prefers manipulating sound waves into knife-like projectiles and fighting with a bo-staff, practices (and teaches) jujutsu and taekwondo, she'd love to learn capoeira and kungfu

Megitsune: prefers fighting with dual-swords and jujutsu

Eoland: doesn't usually need to fight beyond using her superspeed, one punch at mach-2 is plenty for most people lol

Barbara: same as Eoland, she'll also do a few rounds of normal-speed boxing with Eden and Ira

Hartley: prefers to use her flute to hypnotize people to do what she needs them to or uses her robotic rats, she can throw a solid punch if she needs to but she could use some self-defense lessons also

Yǔqí: tries not to fight at all but will try to distract whatever hero is trying to stop her while her snakes finish what they need to do and make their escape

Eden: the police on Earth-63 don't really use weapons but she's a very good boxer, she'd love to learn karate as well

Ira: is also a very good boxer and he practices tai chi

Cisca: very much does not consider herself a fighter both before and after gaining her powers, though she's not opposed to using her powers to defend herself and her friends

Savitar: see Barbara

Mallorie: SPEED! FORCE! SWORDS!!!

Kal: he's literally Superman lol

Ricki: prefers her escrima sticks but is also proficient with a bo-staff, batarangs/birdarangs, shuriken, and practices kungfu, judo, taekwondo, and aikido, she'd love to have a better mastery of sword fighting

Jessie: prefers knives, particularly favors her kris, kunai, and cinquedea (and of course, the All Blades), she's also proficient with batarangs/birdarangs, shuriken, and practices muay thai, judo, and taekkyeon - although outlawed on all of Earth-63, she's also very good with projectile weapons including guns (where she got the guns, she'll never tell), she'd like to get better at archery

Tiff: prefers her bo-staff but is also proficient with batarangs/birdarangs, shuriken, and practices kendo (she was on her high school team), judo, and aikido, she'd like to get better with knives (she will die before she asks Jessie for help tho lol)

Dami: prefers their katana, is also proficient with knives, a bo-staff, batarangs/birdarangs, shuriken, and is absolutely not opposed to biting people, she also practices kungfu and muay thai and would like to learn more martial art disciplines

Gabi: prefers to turn into a tiger but her other go-to animals are gorilla, snake, bat, cat, dog, or octopus, she'd like to see if she can turn into extinct or alien animals

Laska: prefers her bow and arrow, would like to learn how to fight at close range

Piper: prefers to use her sound control for speed and defense, she'd love to learn how to use it on the offensive

Lara: practices hapkido, would like to learn other martial arts

Jisoo: prefers to use the ice side of her powers, she feels like the fire side is too dangerous but she'd definitely like to learn how to better control it

Alex: practiced qin na and fenced in high school and college

Dan: practices shuai jiao, would love to learn how to use some ancient greek weaponry

Amara: prefers her bow and arrow and fire powers, practices taekwondo, would like to get better with a sword or spear

Mendel: doesn't have any formal training but his punches are still fairly powerful and he'll also bite, he's trying desperately to get some sort of training lol

[pleistocene-pride]

Lurdusaurus is a genus of massive and unusually shaped iguanodont dinosaur which lived during the Aptian to early Albian stages of the Early Cretaceous period some from the Elrhaz Formation in Niger. The holotype of lurdusaurus consisting of a nearly complete adult skeleton with a partial skull where unearth in 1965 by Philippe Taquet at the Gadoufaoua site of the Elrhaz Formation, in the Tenere desert of Niger. Taquet initially believed it to be a species of Iguanodon but in 1976 he noted it should probably be classified into a new genus. Paleontologist Souad Chabli described the remains in 1988 for her PhD thesis, under the direction of Taquet. She named it "Gravisaurus tenerensis". However, her dissertation was never published. It wouldn’t be until n 1999, Turquet and Dale Russell published the first formal description, naming it Lurdusaurus arenatus. The generic name comes from Latin lurdus "heavy" and Ancient Greek sauros "lizard", in reference to the enormous weight of the fossils. The specific name arenatus is Latin for "sandy" because it was found in a desert. Since then a few partial specimens have been recovered giving a more complete picture of the animal. Lurdusaurus has a highly atypical body plan for an iguanodont, reaching 23 to 30ft (7 to 9m) in length, 6-7ft (1.8 to 2.1m) tall when on all fours, with its stomach being held just 2-3ft (.6 to .9m) off the ground. This animal would have weighed 5,600 to 12,200lbs (2,500 to 5,500kgs), making it incredibly heavy for an ornithopod particularly of its size. Lurdusaurus had a small skull, long neck, rotund torso, and powerful forelimbs and claws. Its metacarpals (wrist bones) are fused and reinforced into a large block, and the thumb spike is remarkably enormous being around 60% larger than those of comparable iguanodonts. In 2007, paleontologist Thomas R. Holtz Jr. speculated that "Lurdusaurus may have been the dinosaur equivalent to a hippo" as they both share a heavy, stocky body plan. Others have stated the similarities to lurdusaurus’s anatomy to that of giant ground sloths, some of whom were also aquatically aligned. As such it has been proposed that lurdusaurus while capable of walking on its hindlegs, was primarily quadrupedal and semi aquatic. Living in forested riverine environments spending much of its time in the water and utilizing its unique enormous thumb spikes to help it feed on vegetation and as defensive weaponry against predators.

Art used can be found at the following links

[bazzybelle]

I'm here for you nerding out about history, so: 4, 5, 9, 13, 29!

Oh boy, do I have a long post for you... One of these took up A LOT of time fact-checking and researching, I could do a power point presentation on it ;)

4) Favourite historical era?

The Italian Renaissance, hands down. Anyone who knows me, knows that I am such a fucking dweeb for the Renaissance. Specifically the 1400s in Florence, during the rise of The Medici. Say what you want about them, (yes they were corrupt and essentially a Renaissance version of a mafia family) but the good they did for Florence AND the preservation of ancient culture cannot be denied. 

To be able to live during that time, when art and literature and philosophy was thriving. Where new ideas about love and spirituality were making their ways into the intelligentsia, I would have LOVED to witness that. 

Thing is, I’d have to do it disguised as a man, because history is a bag of dicks, unfortunately. But just to be able to be a part of a symposium with Marsilio Ficino, Pico della Mirandola, and Lorenzo dei’ Medici and just listen to them discuss Plato and the ways of Platonic Love. To bear witness to Botticelli painting or Michelangelo sculpting. My sibling once told me I have a “Renaissance Face” (which was probably the best compliment they could have given me). If that could have gotten me an in, with these guys, even as a model, it would have been fine with me. Just to watch the masters at their craft. 

I dunno, maybe I could have joined them (disguised as a man, of course), and share my own thoughts about philosophy and love and sacred bonds between people. Maybe talk about new ideas involving gender… who knows?

Not to mention, Florence also had a thriving underground queer scene during this time… so… do with that what you will.

Renaissance Florence… Sometime between 1450 and 1490.

5) Favourite weapon?

You know, as much as I love history, I really don’t care for the military stuff. In fact, I had to look up Ancient Roman weapons, because if I were to have a favourite weapon, it would be from the Roman Empire. 

So, in my quick research of Roman weaponry, I remembered that the Eastern Roman Empire (or Byzantine Empire) had a fucking BADASS weapon that had everyone from the Crusaders to the Mongols quaking. They called it Greek Fire, and it was typically used during naval battles. What you would have, if a flame-thrower device attached to the front of your ship and Greek Fire would just come out from there. The precise recipe for Greek Fire has been lost to the ages, but you did not want to fuck with it. 

What made Greek Fire especially horrifying was that it would continue to burn while in contact with water. You could not douse it. You just had to let it burn until it ran out. Think of that creepy bright green fire from Game Of Thrones. The one that they used for the Battle of Blackwater and that epic church explosion. That would be the closest thing to Greek Fire that I can think of. It was terrifying, amazing, and allowed Constantinople to remain a military powerhouse in the Mediterranean, despite constantly being threatened by neighbouring empires.

9) Favourite historical film?

I already answered this question in another ask. It’s La Vita E Bella (Life is Beautiful). I highly encourage everyone to watch this movie, but only when feeling emotionally stable because it has a VERY sad ending. 

Here are some other historical movies I REALLY love: 

The King’s Speech - Can’t stand the Monarchy, but GOD I love Colin Firth and he is AMAZING as King George VI. 

The Young Victoria - Again… Do not like the Monarchy, but Emily Blunt is so charming, and this was such a sweet movie. 

The Imitation Game - Made me seeth in fury over the injustice served to Alan Turing, but fucking Bumblebee Cabbagepatch was SO GOOD. 

And again… SO many movies I need to watch… I mean Jesus.

13) Something random about some random historical person in a random era.

This random fact is about the Emperor Justinian and his Consort, the Empress Theodora. He changed a marriage law in order to be able to marry her. 

Back in the Early days of the Eastern Roman Empire (or Byzantine Empire), around 525 CE, you weren’t allowed to marry beneath your class, and Theodora was not only a commoner, but she was an… an… actress! (cue shocked gasps and pearl clutching here). Mind you, she was also known as a prostitute, but that’s debatable. Anyway, Justinian created a law so that her status could be changed, and then changed another law, so that he could marry her. He was so in love with her, that he did not give any shits about what anyone had to say about their union. 

And honestly, he could not have picked a better Consort. Theodora was smart, funny, and an all-around badass. She challenged him, matched him, and took charge when she needed to. She was the reason the Nika Revolts failed and the Emperor kept his throne. She cared for Justinian while he was fighting the Plague (yes, that Plague, it was around during Justinian’s time too). 

God, I love them.

29) Great historical mystery you are interested in?

Oooo… This is another REALLY good question.

The first answer I came up with is a bit of a “cheat” amongst historians. A sorta of “of course you would pick that, everyone wants to know what happened there”, but I really don’t care. When I first heard about The Princes In The Tower, I was beyond fascinated by their story and the mystery surrounding them. 

Ok, a bit of a backstory. Picture it. England, 1483. For the last several decades, the country has been ravaged by a civil war known as The Wars of The Roses. I will NOT go into this, because Christ we do not have time for that. All you need to know for this story is that the current monarch is Edward IV. He has MANY children, among which are two young sons (an heir and a spare). If he can keep hold of his reign for long enough, he is set to establish a new dynasty. Unfortunately for him, he dies in April after an unexpected illness (do with this what you will, could have been poison, could have been the Middle Ages where a paper cut could kill you). 

Now, England did not really have a Law of Succession (that would come MUCH later, in 1701), a reigning monarch would have to hope that his vassals would follow who he deemed as heir and not stir any shit. For the most part, it worked out well, but there were a couple of instances where shenanigans took place (see: Empress Matilda and The Anarchy). ANYWAY, the heir to the British throne was Edward IV’s son, Edward V. Thing is, Edward’s 12. He’s a child, and not ready to take the throne. Before his death, Edward IV established that until the time of his son’s majority, the Kingdom would be ruled under a Regency, headed by his younger brother, Richard, Duke of Gloucester. Richard would henceforth be known as the Lord Protector (the most powerful guy in the Kingdom, basically). 

Makes sense, right? Well, get ready for some shenanigans. 

This is already getting WAY too long, so I’ll speed things up. Richard claims that the King isn’t safe with his current protectors (his maternal uncle, and his half-brother), so he has them arrested and executed and the King placed under his custody (for his protection). This causes the King’s mother, Elizabeth Woodville to go into sanctuary at Westminster Abbey. She takes her remaining children with her (including the spare, 9 year old Richard, Duke of York). 

Up until this point, everyone is certain that the young King will be coronated as soon as he and Uncle Richard arrive in London. However, that does not happen. The coronation is postponed again, and again, and again. The young King, meanwhile, is sent to live in the Tower of London (which at that time served as a place where one would wait to be coronated). Here’s where things get a little dicey, see Uncle Richard claims his dearly departed brother was previously married before Elizabeth Woodville, thereby making any and all his children illegitimate. Thus making him the true heir to the throne. Around this time, Richard requested that the 9-year old Duke of York be sent as well to be protected in the Tower. 

The last time anyone would see the two Princes would be in the summer of 1483. Richard is crowned King Richard III (of Shakespeare fame) and would go on to rule for a little while before dying at the Battle of Bosworth Field (where “A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse” comes from). Henry Tudor becomes King Henry VII and establishes the well-known Tudor dynasty. 

The fate of the boys remains, to this day, unknown. There are many theories as to what happened. The most popular one being that they were smothered with a pillow and buried under a staircase in the Tower. In fact, a couple of centuries later, some bones were found in the tower and were assumed to be those of the two Princes. However, examinations in the 30s showed them to contain animal bones, along with the bones of two small children. No further testing was done, and the bones were re-buried. There have been petitions for there to be DNA testing involved, but Queen Elizabeth II refused to do so. 

Who knows, maybe King Charlie III is just as curious as the rest of us, and will agree to exhume the bodies once more. 

There are other theories and many pretenders that have popped up throughout history, but this post is already STUPID long, so I’ll leave it here

ASK ME HISTORICAL QUESTIONS! THIS WAS SO MUCH FUN!

[lightdancer1]

Discussing Mycenean Greece here is because this is the Ancient, not Classical World:

It should be noted that while the Greek Dark Age marked a shift in Greek culture which created the classical Polis as we know it that Greek history is significantly older than this. Mycenaean Greece was the first Greek civilization, the point where Bronze Age Greece in turn created the first true civilization in Europe. The Dark Age meant that the Classical World imported a great deal of the 'Orient' from Iran and Egypt, because much of its earlier history was lost to it and only partially reconstructed by modern historians who can do much more than the ancient Greeks were ever able to do.

Mycenaean Greece is also the one memorialized in the Trojan War myth, though the Trojan Cycle in turn imports the weaponry and assumptions of the Polis into a world that predated it. There is, however, one great irony that the very oldest form of Greek civilization appeared for its 700-year span to offer women much more than most of the Poleis, save Sparta, and that with significant caveats, ever did. This is a reminder that misogyny might be deeply baked into ancient societies but there were always degrees of it and times when society took sharp turns from bad to worse. For Greece the shift between Mycenae and Hellas was one from bad to worse.