#modern au shenanigans

[kassandras-one-braincell]

asking the ac ladies if they would still love you if you were a worm (or alternatively: a monster)

I have responded to this in the only appropriate manner: shitty fake text messages (in which Eivor's thumbs are still too big for the keyboard and she's still allergic to technology)

[xamaxenta]

On a lighter note, Ace would be the kind of gamer that would go do every possible crime available/bad option in video games but if he had to choose a mean dialogue option he would feel guilty for weeks

[tragedycraft]

x

(Jaina Text): You’ve already committed a felony today with your outfit so you may as well treat yourself to the ice cream. 😎🍦

(Finnall Text): Rude, at least I didn’t wear a crop top and baggy pants for the longest time. Idk if I want to get you an ice-cream anymore but if I change my mind, what favor you want? 

@lady-proudmoore

[cynicalpie]

I like to think that Fang’s cooking is as pretty as Hannibal’s without the uncertainty as to whether or not it’s people. It’s people. Fucking eat your meal.

I love this gross child.

[kassandras-one-braincell]

i have so many (modern!)eivor thoughts and i need to put them somewhere or i might explode

being eivor’s pretty lil wife bringing out snacks and lemonade for her while she builds/fixes something, and her giving you a sweet lil kiss before resuming her work

also? eivor going to the gym? EIVOR WITH A MUSCLE PUMP? i’m going to faint

you and eivor would have The House on halloween. i see eivor as a halloween lover (decorations only. do not give her a costume she will Not put it on) (unless you give her the puppy eyes) (she folds immediately). anyways. all the kids LOVE the decorations you guys put up, especially because they got to watch eivor build some of them. and you two always have the good candy, giant candy bars/packs of course

okok even if you don’t see her as a halloween lover she just gives off such fall vibes. warm vanilla candles, something sweet constantly baking in the oven or cooling on the counter, forever warm sweaters that smell like her (what do you think she’d smell like?), a bunch of books, old movies. stuff like that :3 she just gives off such warm vibes??

also. cuddling with eivor on a rainy night. takeout or one of her favorite recipes for dinner, a nice old (or new) movie playing on the tv.

i am so normal about her 😵‍💫

These are so wholesome I'm literally combusting

As for what I think Eivor would smell like? What, do you think I've given that serious thought baked goods? Do you take me for some kind of homosexual sawdust who spends every waking moment thinking about the finer details of clusters of pixels seasonal flowers? You think I lie in bed, cradling my arms, breathing in my pillow, imagining I'm in her safe, warm embrace instead new book smell? Despicable. Could never be me. Nuh-uh. I too am *glances at smudged ink on hand* norman about her.

[kassandras-one-braincell]

Modern AC Ladies and why they went viral on tiktok

This is silly but it sparks joy in my cold dead heart. (pspspspsps @keyblade-loser here you go)

Kassandra makes wlw thirst-traps. Kidding, she probably makes a combination of pottery and work-out videos. Of course, her hands and physique are enough to turn those videos into thirst-traps, and all the gays flock to her page to ogle at her. But she probably went viral because her dear friend Alkibiades (with an extremely successful page) recorded her eating a syrupy fig one day, looking like a snack herself, with the captions “she’s single, ladies” and “you know her str@p is big”. She also records Phoibe, her honorary baby sister, playing pranks on her friends. They’re a dynamic, mischievous duo, with Phoibe trying and failing to teach her different dances. And the ladies love her for it, because awww she’s so good with kids! Definitely dabbles in thirst-traps though.

Soma makes baking, cooking and mixology tiktoks. The jack of all trades in the kitchen. Her audience is a mixture of people learning their way about a kitchen, and sapphics who are drunk on the sight of those tattooed arms flexing as she chops vegetables, kneads dough and performs tricks with a cocktail shaker. She noticed the pattern in her viewers when she was starting off and being the business-savvy woman she is, decided to jokingly spank the dough in her next bread-making video while maintaining perfect eye-contact with her phone, which blew up - especially in the wlw/nblw community - all according to plan. Her top comment is from Birna: “soma you wh0re”

Eivor is horrendous with technology. She was peer-pressured into downloading the app (by Kassandra, who else) despite just having figured out how her phone’s camera works. Her first tiktok was her trying to figure out how to use the app, accidentally recording and posting herself doing so, but it was hilarious and she’s a babe, so it did really well. She still doesn’t understand the app. Her second video was filmed by Kassandra, who later logged into Eivor’s account to post it, capturing her confusion at all of these notifications flooding her phone. Eivor didn’t understand how comments worked. “How are these people messaging me?” “Does tiktok tell people your phone number??” “Why are people calling me ‘daddy’?” “Kassandra help :(”