#an actual harm to the public

[abearinthewoods]

If the billionaires feel unsafe they should start a collective fund amongst the billionaires to cover paying for a squad of people who can protect them and even handle investigating people who harm them. Pooling their resources so they can relax and not have to worry about that. Call it a... "Lax".

[thereallyreallylatebird]

Something something... Finetimers not being able to properly walk without being told where to go as a critique on how many people don't form proper and informed opinions on their own and only parrot what they're told by influential political and social leaders

[marsdemo]

the thing abt amtrak is that they literally are busting down historic buildings in black and brown neighborhoods to build new tracks under joe's guidance and working to install vent systems right next to elementary schools in areas that already have extraordinarily high asthma rates but at least every bitch on here still has wet dreams about their expensive tickets and inflexible schedules

[nordfjording]

while i dont wish that sort of tabloid press on anyone i always find it interesting how much british media have been able to squeeze out of the rocks that are harry and meghan as just deeply uninteresting people who have never done anything in particular, really, compared to, say, märtha and durek who seemingly can not be stopped from doing questionable things constantly and are fascinating individuals in the sense that theyre both fuckin bonkers

[seaweedstarshine]

Hi! Long time no yap but I've been really bothered by this thing and I know you're just the person I can go to with this (even if we don't always end up agreeing at times).

I got into a tiff with someone in a comments section of a post that was about Amy (Which character do you think deserved to become a villain? or something similar). They brought up Amy's abuse of her boyfriend. I may have tried to defend Amy (key word is tried. I am officially rubbish at debating) but then I may have said something? Because they said that I (and apparently a lot of other fans) was excusing Amy's abuse because of her trauma. It got me stumped because isn't young Amy's treatment of Rory rooted in her trauma? Did I miss the memo where we separate trauma and abuse? Am I missing something?

That statement bothered me a lot because if there's one thing I never want to do it's defend an abuser. So here I am, humbly asking and hoping to clear the muddy waters.

Your really confused and disturbed moot, Tia 💌

TIA!!!!! Thanks for the ask 💌 , and I send you all the hugs.

Discussion of abuse, trauma, ableism, infidelity, and unhealthy relationship dynamics beneath the cut.

(First off… while I really appreciate your faith in my explaining skills <3 <3 <3 my passion for traumatized characters and mentally ill+neurodivergent rights doesn't make me especially qualified to fully clear muddy waters especially not knowing the full context, but I feel you, and what follows is my informed perspective!)

Speaking generally first, harm done in media is best examined by the impact on the audience, with a different lens than harm done to real people. While relatable experiences in media can be useful and validating and incredibly important, you can’t be “defending an abuser” when the abuse is fictional. It's actually normal for traumatized/ND/mentally ill people to project onto mentally ill villains, when villains are the only significant representation for those stigmatized symptoms in a media landscape that excludes and demonizes us simply for existing. RTD can't stop people who hallucinate from reclaiming the Master's Drums and projecting onto the Master, for example — 90% of the best Doctor Who psychosis fic by psychotic authors is about the Master, whether RTD likes it or not. It's not true crime.

(This is speaking generally. Amy Pond is very much not the Master.)

Abuse is a behavior, and there can be many reasons for it, but reasons based in trauma don’t make it not abuse (some forms of generational trauma can propagate abusive parenting styles, when the parent thinks abusive parenting is normal, or lives entirely vicariously through their child). This absolutely should not be taken to mean trauma correlates with abusive behavior; rather that abusive behaviors from traumatized people are more likely to present in specific ways.

Abuse is also a targeted behavior, based in control — not consistently displayed C-PTSD symptoms as seen in Season 5 Amy Pond through many aspects of her life. Mental health symptoms don't become abuse just because they hinder one partner from meeting the other partner's needs. Any life event can do that.

Without knowing the context of the arguments, this is the aspect of their relationship I've seen you talk about before (which I also feel strongly about), and what I assume is what you were debating? So, here I will talk specifically in regard to Season 5.

We all know Amy — she's never attached to Leadworth because she never wanted to leave Scotland, no steady therapist because none of them stick up for her, can't stick with one job yet her first choice is a job that simulates intimacy because her avoidant behavior (a known trauma response) isn't sustainable to her wellbeing. Rory knows her fears of commitment stem from her repeated abandonments, it’s why he’ll always wait for her, and it's why he blames the Doctor “You make it so they don't want to let you down.”, who apart from having caused a lot of her trauma, has actively taken advantage of her being the “Scottish girl in the English village” who's “still got that accent,” because he wants to feel important, so yeah, I think interpreting Amy's issues (and how Amy and Rory transverse them) as Amy abusing Rory indicates a fundamental misunderstanding of their relationship, as well as a misunderstanding of the (raggedy) Doctor’s role in Amy’s formative self-image (which of course she works through in Season 6, but I am sticking to Season 5).

Abuse is always based in control. That just doesn’t fit here. While Amy's detachment from her real life includes things like calling Rory her “kind of boyfriend” (which she is upfront about to his face; differing commitment levels isn't abuse, though it can be a relationship red flag for both parties IRL) — her Season 5 disregard of Rory’s feelings occurs only in response to the fairytale embodiment of her trauma. It's never a response to Rory; it's a response to the Doctor, who stole her childhood and led her by the hand to her death. She cheats on Rory with the Doctor in her bedroom full of Doctor toys, drawings, models, she made from childhood to early adulthood.

(And yes, like many repeatedly-traumatized people, Amy is prone to being sensitive and reactive. Take her “Well, shut up then!” line in The Big Bang; but given Rory responds to this by hugging her, clearly he doesn’t take it as her actually dismissing him. He knows her better than that.)

And by no means do I meant to imply this is fair to young Rory, poor Rory, who's left struggling with the feeling that his role in her life is in competition with the role of her trauma (aka the Doctor). But not every unhealthy relationship dynamic is unhealthy because of abuse. Labelling Amy's treatment of Rory in Season 5 more accurately isn't the same as excusing her harmful choices — but making mistakes is part of being human, Amy's mistakes are certainly understandable, and she works through them out of love for Rory.

If there's one thing to say about Moffat women, it's that Moffat allows his female characters the same grace that the male characters *coughTENcough* have always had, to hurt and struggle and make realistic mistakes and overcome those mistakes and to heal without being demonized.

Amy isn't perfect, but she is a fully realized character, and her story gives us a resonant depiction of childhood trauma.

[katyspersonal]

Posting about it like 18 hours late after waking up, but I also had such a strange dream tonight?

In it two of my enemies that worked together against me in reality actually became enemies to one another, and for what reason they did..... One of them crafted some very intricate plan to trick me into thinking I'd get full help for my countless mental troubles, including financial, if I only signed certain papers I got, and the other one disrupted her plan by simply telling me to "trust no one" over a balcony of their.... "house"? Dreams that turn the online into "reality" make little sense but I feel like most people here have them sometimes so you get it probably?

Ironically, I trusted them, and seeing how I clearly was welcomed all of a sudden, went to their place wanting elaboration. (Their house looked exactly like if their blog became a house and it was hysterical) Turned out the other one's plan was to actually not only take all money meant to support my sorry existence away from me forever, but also keep me unemployable since legally I was "helped" or mad shit like that (basically slow, hungry death). And this person turned against their long term "ally" in MY favor because, I quote, "genocide of disabled people is not a joke" gfhtjgugjj We even continued talking a lot about world and people and all other things the other one tried, all while avoiding to as much as address our own grudge.

I really don't know why I'd have a dream like this, it felt so random? It doesn't feel like wishful thinking either. 😕 But it better not be a sign that I've misdiagnosed which one of those two became more malicious in the end, or so help me

[alagaisia]

Hey if you’re still enjoying and engaging with Harry Potter in any capacity you can unfollow me 😊 please and thank you

Like. I get it. I was super into it as a kid too. I did not have the social context to pick up on the antisemitism or transphobia or sexism or fatphobia or bioessentialism or racism or anything else. I also picked up on surface-level language of Fighting Back Against Evil and ascribed my own values onto what that meant and thought we were all on the same page. I remember when the original kids who grew up with the books started becoming adult fans and picking up on the (blatant!) antisemitism and everybody was still mostly willing to give JKR the benefit of the doubt on it. (“She was writing kids books!” They said. “She didn’t know she was penning a global phenomenon! She picked a common literary trend in European fairy tales (antisemitic caricature) and didn’t examine it closely. It’s a mistake anyone could make,” we said. “She would probably do things differently now. After all, she word-of-god confirmed the vaguest hints she dropped that Dumbledore might be gay,” we said.) There was actually a span of several years where biases inherent in the actual real content of the Harry Potter series were coming to light and even the people pointing them out still seemed mostly to think it was an unfortunate accident.

That time has passed. Years ago! We are long past the first months of “maybe she doesn’t realize this seemingly-feminist tweet she liked was made by a noted TERF” and then “how could she not realize that these many veiled TERF-y things she’s retweeted have implications for the many queer fans of her work” and finally “oh wow okay JKR just dropped an entire transphobic manifesto on twitter. I guess the transphobia was the point.”

Yeah, there were a few months after that where people were still processing and still working through how they felt about Harry Potter and all of its flaws with the context of the now open transphobia of the creator. I was there for that. Remember how I was one of the kids who built it up into something noble and worthwhile based on my own beliefs about what messages it was probably trying to convey? Turns out it wasn’t trying to say any of those things, and when you take the time to examine all of the terrible shit that made its way into the text whether JKR intended it to be there or not, the whole series falls apart. It’s weird to discover that there’s a room in your house that’s rotten to the core, but eventually you figure out you can’t live like that, still going in there and holding your nose and pretending it’s still the same room you thought it was when the termites were only inside of the walls and hadn’t yet started chewing their way through the furniture. Because what’s going to happen is that they are going to infest the rest of your house. If you decide you can ignore transphobia and antisemitism and everything else just because you liked the color of the wallpaper, the rest of your principles are going to crumble too. You get rid of that fucking room. You put those books on a high shelf in the back of your closet behind other outgrown clothes and interests and you move the fuck on.

JKR uses the money made from her transphobic antisemitic children’s books to actively funding hate groups and to lobby for legislation that will and has actually affected the actual lives of trans people in an entire country. We are past the point of grieving something you were wrong about in childhood. Kids are wrong about a lot of stuff. You grow up and you learn new information and you change your behaviors based on it. You have to choose. It is transphobic to pretend there is not transphobia where there is. It is transphobic to support the work of someone who is using those funds to take rights from trans people with every fucking dollar. It is hateful to continue to engage positively with a story that at its very core is rooted in hate and bigotry and prejudice. You can choose to do all of those things but you cannot claim ignorance of them and you cannot choose those things and still pretend that choosing them upholds the values we convinced ourselves that Harry Potter stood for over a decade ago as uninformed children. You cannot choose to do those things and pretend to still support your trans and queer and Jewish neighbors. I do not want you in my neighborhood. Leave.

[monstermoviedean]

at the end of my fucking rope with "conversations" about k12 chronic absenteeism.

[quietlyblooms]

PREFERENCES — SEXY SUNDAY EDITION. explicit below the cut. feel free to steal & repost for your own muse(s) .

bold = yes

bold + italics = favorite

italics = maybe or partner dependent

nothing = no strong opinion

striked = never

INTEREST!

submissive / dominant / prefers to top / prefers to bottom ( at the beginning ) / likes to switch / heterosexual / gay / lesbian / bisexual / pansexual / asexual / demisexual / enjoys sex with men / enjoys sex with women / enjoys sex with genderfluid , agender , demigender , or non binary individuals / enjoys sex with all genders regardless of identity / enjoys sex with multiple people at a time ( only if she's in a closed poly relationship ) / enjoys intimacy with women / enjoys intimacy with men / enjoys intimacy with genderfluid, agender, demigender, or non binary individuals / enjoys intimacy with all genders regardless of gender / initiates / waits for partner to initiate / spits / swallows / morning sex / night sex / sex any time / no sex drive / low sex drive / average sex drive / high sex drive / hypersexual / fluctuating sex drive

BODY & APPEARANCE.

slender build / medium build / athletic build / muscular build / curvy build / voluptuous / chubby build / wears boxers / wears boxer briefs / wears lingerie / goes commando / shaves / trims / waxes / goes natural / naturally smooth / cup size a b c / cup size d-f/ 1-5” in length / 6-9” in length / 10” or over in length

SOUNDS.

silent / quiet ( tries to be at first out of shyness ) / loud / grows in volume over time / bites hand / bites partner / bites pillow to muffle self / calls out partners name / curses / fakes / exaggerates / prefers a quiet partner / prefers a loud partner / prefers a partner who grows in volume over time / turned on by dirty talk!!! / turned off by dirty talk

TURN-ONS & KINKS.

having their hands pinned / pinning partner’s hands / having own hair pulled / pulling partner’s hair / being watched ( by their partner ) / being watched ( by a third party ) / watching their partner / receiving oral / giving oral / giving praise / receiving praise / biting or marking / being bitten or marked / spanking / being spanked / teasing / being teased / having toys used on them / using toys on their partner / giving anal / receiving anal / choking / being choked / giving vaginal / receiving vaginal / being tied up / tying partner up / being worshipped / worshipping partner / humiliating / being humiliated / degrading / being degraded / knife play / blood play / being pegged / pegging partner / partner wearing lingerie / wearing lingerie / whipping / being whipped / roleplay ( would depend on the scenario but she'd try ) / titfucking / cockwarming

PLACES.

bedroom / shower / bath / pool / ocean / kitchen / home bathroom / public restroom / car / tent / alleyway / field / forest / university / empty or abandoned building / library / rooftop / terrace / dressing room / elevator / parking lot / museum / cemetery / beach / closet / hospital

[kingofmyborrowedheart]

I’m absolutely disgusted by how eager Justin Baldoni was to use the stories of domestic violence victims to prop himself up as a feminist ally, all the while he was committing sexual harassment against his cast members on set.

[bunnyboy-juice]

me: sicker than a dog, whining, complaining, yowling, agonizing

also me: [the first person at work my first day back]

[toyhousedramas]

The mod of toyhouse dramas has a sixteen foot long cock and eighteen sports cars, yesterday he saved me, seven orphans, and fifty orphan kittens from a tree, after that they admitted to me in private that they have the cure to cancer but don't want to release it until it's had further testing, it's absolutely coming however, I can't say when because it will reveal who I am though.

Well you told me this on an anonymous tumblr so it must be true.

[theokusgallery]

tw for implied self harm

do you think that nick and sunny would get matching "<3" scars/cuts

Oh yeah totally

I mean they have a weird relationship with their/each other's bodies and (if you've read the 15+ comic, which I assume you did considering your question, you'll know what I'm talking about) a weird relationship with cuts & markings. Specifically in relation to each other, and ownership of each other

Arsenic's thoughts are usually along the lines of "I want to mark him everywhere with my name and have it on display that he's mine and mine only, I want to kill everyone who isn't us because then no one could even look at him or think about him or exist to him but I need people to exist in order to see and acknowledge that he's mine, it's pointless to own him if there's no one else around who can, he's mine because he chose me among everyone else, he's mine mine mine and everyone else only exists to see that and know that I'm better than them and that they'll never have him"

Nick loves to leave his name everywhere on Sunny. It's not enough to say "he has a boyfriend/he's taken", the point is that he belongs to Arsenic specifically, and that no matter what he always will because there's literally branding all over him and not all of it will ever go away.

He is also very, very fond of the concept of matching with Sunny. Usually couples do this about clothes? But clothes are too superficial for Nick (and Sunny's too weird about clothes to ever change it anyway) and matching with their bodies feels more sincere/meaningful. For Nick though, no name, just hearts is fine — because they have a very strict power dynamic and they are not on equal ground. Sunny belongs to Nick, but Nick could walk away any second. Which means Sunny feels pressured to do everything Nick wants so that this doesn't happen. Making Sunny insecure about their relationship is one of Nick's greatest joys

[thislittlekumquat]

I actually think that it's possible to care about children as a group AND ALSO find them fucking annoying to be around in public. Someone venting on their adult, personal social media about how frustrating it is to be stuck on a plane with a screaming baby or to be on a subway platform and stressed as hell bc teenagers are roughhousing next to the tracks is not fucking HARMING CHILDREN. You wanna know what does harm children? Is fucking making them think that thought crimes are real. Fuck off.

[trans-axolotl]

started rereading brilliant imperfection for like the 12th time. this book means SO much to me and i honestly feel like it saved my life. i knew about disability justice before but that was the book that like. was foundational to developing so many of my values. i've taken it with me to every hospitalization since. i tear up at so many parts to it and like i don't know why this book makes me so so emotional but it does and i love it!

[singsweetmelodies]

Shipping real people is so gross TF get a life

sending anon hate is so gross TF get a life