#amber heard deserves so much better

[traumatizedjaguar]

I think what people need to understand about being abused is victims aren’t supposed to be what you expect them to be; they aren’t supposed to be perfect little angels. There are times during the abuse, where, if there was a minor annoyance in the room completely unrelated to my abuser abusing me, I’d lash out horrifically and loudly at my abuser for an annoyance; that, say for instance if I wasn’t with an abuser or being abused during those times and that same annoyance popped up, I wouldn’t have lashed out at all but if I did I’d be the abuser. To back that up, I’ve been annoyed plenty of times around non-abusive people and never raged at them for it. Why did I react like that with my abusers if that particular thing wasn’t abusing me, if that specific thing wasn’t even remotely harmful? Amber Heard did the same thing from the 18 hours of audio I listened to; I related a lot to her lashing out. Looking at my relationships to my abusers, they all abused me first before all that aggression started popping up later on which is what we obviously call reactive abuse. And then the gaslighting follows immediately after. I decided to make this post bc I was reminded of a particular event with my abusers where this happened and I remembered feeling awful that I didn’t handle it better but could you blame me? No, because I was in the midst of their constant abuse, I wasn’t well nor was I listened to.

[chuusheartattck]

THAT’S THAT ME ESPRESSO (TTME)

Chapter 30- It’s whatever ☕️

You were already there when you texted Xiao. You just needed extra time to mentally prepare yourself. Originally you had wanted to cut him off over text, but he didn’t deserve that. You knew it was wrong to do it over the phone.

You were sat on a bench scrolling through twitter. It was a chilly night and you should’ve brought a jacket. You felt anxiety coursing through your veins. With every passing minute your heart rate increased and you kept looking around anxiously for any sign of Xiao. You were so on edge and for what? You’re the one who called him out in the middle of the night out of the blue. He should be more nervous.

As you were scrolling through your phone, you heard footsteps approaching you. You didn’t want to look up, worried for who you were about to see. The footsteps stopped in front of you and you could only see a pair of converse in your peripheral vision. You looked up and met eye to eye with Xiao.

“Are you okay?” He asked as he sat down next to you.

You weren’t ok at all.

“Yeah.”

“Why did you want to meet up? You’re not breaking things off with me are you?” He was only half joking.

“About that,” You began. You needed to be stern about this and not beat around the bush, “You’re a really great guy and I’m sure you’ll find someone that’ll like you the way you want them to. However, that person isn’t me.”

Your voice got quieter after the last sentence. You were scared on how he was going to react. You’ve never done anything like this before and his intimidating aura didn’t make you feel any better.

He let out a small chuckle and looked away, “It’s Scaramouche isn’t it?”

Was it that obvious?

Your silence didn’t make it any better as you looked down to your hands. You didn’t know what to say. Only tension and awkwardness filled the air.

“Have you once considered how I felt?”

You looked up meeting his amber eyes. You raised an eyebrow.

“How do you think I felt every time you would talk about him? It felt like you never liked me.”

Are men always this idiotic?

It’s understandable that he feels rejected but you never told him you liked him back. You liked being his friend but he went too fast and didn’t ask you how you felt about anything.

Annoyed, you argued back with him, “You’re right, I never did. You can’t just guilt me into thinking that I never considered how you felt when you never thought about feelings. I never wanted to be more than friends with you. Yes I did find you attractive and there were times where I would flirt back, but that was it. I tried giving you a chance, I really did, but it was only after you tried convincing me to. It was never going to work out.”

He only stared back not saying a word. Probably speechless at your sudden outburst. You took this opportunity to chew him out even more, “You can’t force someone to like you if they’re infatuated with someone else. I’m sorry if you thought differently but I only wanted to be friends. You’re a fun person to talk to but nothing more.”

This time, he was the one who looked down at his hands. There was a moment of silence as he tried for find the best words to say. You felt bad for being so blunt, you did have a way with being brutally honest when you needed to.

Xiao finally spoke up, still looking down, “If that’s how you feel then so be it.” He sighed before continuing, “What’s so good about Scara anyways?”

“His impurities. The weak part of him, the goodness in him which is still a mess, but little by little, he changes, and I don’t want to miss out on those changes. I don’t get what makes him the good guy but I do know I don’t want him to disappear from my life.”

When did you turn so sappy?

“I expected it everyday since we decided to take things slow so I was nervous everyday that you were going to leave. It stings but I feel a bit relieved I don’t have to feel that way anymore.” Xiao admitted.

You’re started to feel bad for him. Did he like you that much or was he that desperate for a relationship? Either way you knew you weren’t the right person for him.

The only thing you could say was, “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I shouldn’t have pressured you into anything. It was my fault that things turned out this way.”

You gave Xiao a small smile, apologized again, and quickly hugged him goodbye. You didn’t want to say anything else, afraid it was going to cause a more intense riff between you guys.

Were you satisfied with how things ended? No, not really. However, do you have any regrets? Absolutely not.

You knew you were going to have to see him at award shows and pretend you two didn’t just have a falling out. It made you sad that you lost a good friend. Maybe one day you guys could reconcile.

Masterlist II Previous II Next

A/N: End of act 3!! Literally 10 more chapters till ttme finishes 😨😨 Hopefully act 4 will make up for all the pain and suffering you guys endured while reading this 🥰 I would also like to apologize to team xiao. Anyways!! Chapter 32 will have major scarayn so be prepared 😜

ALSOOO lmk if you guys want your users to be added to this au and i’ll make you a twitter user :)

Synopsis: You’re a new idol that just debuted under ‘Fontaine Entertainment’ with your new single ‘Espresso.’ You just graduated high school which means all your classmates are shocked to see you into stardom. Including your old situationship, who happens to be an actor.

Taglist: @skyoverkill1 @quacking-simp @lolmeowing @astro-stars @kaitfae @sl-vega @scarawiki @yuminako @samyayaya @skyvella @kur0kki @practicoi @kukikoooo @scaraenthusiast1 @shutingstar @lloovvv @moonjellyfishie @miy-svz @xionri @lalalaloveallmydays @hearts4lizzzz @kathiwis @state-of-grac3 @morgyyyyyyy @scaradooche @theyluvkatt @meigalaxy @noirechomps @crimxeorcremeexistspeacefully @vxcmx @ariesloves @cayl33n @animeobsessed56 @heartsforni-ki @feikyuu @ichcocat @strayharmony943 @chscklvr @kunikissr @jiminscarmex @sp1ng @bananasquash @aceakariii @thegalaxyisunfolding @ariilies @hisfuture @automaticpatroltragedy @sartrst @cheriswag @kokomiskiss @albedomestic-airline @lxkeeeee @sundays-prince @wvvyq @amurotoorudesu

[jimmyneutron877]

"Keep Dancing With Me"

• Pre War Cooper Howard x Reader! Fluff!

(Cooper and you dance together 🥺)

“C’mon Coop! Please just teach me even a little step, pleeeeease”

You and Cooper Howard have been together for a while now, since after he and Barb got divorced, and you had been begging Cooper to teach you the Western line dancing he claims to know.

“No- c’mon- its embarrassin’ please-” He refused you every time saying he was embarrassed, he was “too busy” or he “wasn't in the mood”, but he wouldn't get away with it this time, you wouldn't have it.

You left the couch with a Hm, and disappeared into the bedroom, this was automatically suspicious for Cooper as you’d always persist and plead, and then he heard it… Johnny Cash. He got up from the couch, put his paper down and started for the bedroom, but not before you appeared in the doorway, you gestured for him to come closer with your finger, and when he moved forward you did too, until you both met halfway.

“Cooper Howard, you are going to teach me a dance, or I'll make you” Your voice got low and serious as you looked into his eyes.

He let out a sigh, defeated, “Fine, gimme your hand, put the other on my shoulder” he took your hand with his and guided his other hand down to your waist and gripped it firmly.

You always loved his hands, they were strong and big, and you almost fit into them completely, your hand disappeared into his, like his hands were made for you, and he loved that too.

He showed you the footwork to one he called “Lori's Cha-Cha”, and the beginning was easy, however, you kind of bombed out anything after that, so you two just stuck to the beginning part. It was nice, energetic and intimate at the same time, you were both laughing for the first time in a long time. Johnny Cash was definitely the best pick for this dancing.

“Havin’ fun?” He teased with a smirk, flashing his teeth.

“Yes, I can definitely see you are, you've loosened up, your shoulders aren't as tense” You noted, sending a cheeky smile to him.

“Yeah yeah, whatever” Cooper rolled his eyes.

“Why didn't you ever want to show me before?”

“I don't know, I never thought you'd be so interested in it, I always thought it was a cheesy thing we always had ta learn in school” he spun you around gently and his hand left your waist for a split second before you came back around.

“Aw Coop, you don't have to be embarrassed about it, I love it, I'm always interested in you..I find it really charming, and what better way to woo someone than with your line dancing?” you teased the last part and he scoffed but he knows you meant the beginning.

“I’m sorry for always shovin’ you off before, I also thought you were kinda just teasin’ me ‘bout it” he said that and stopped for a moment, “Actually I'm sorry for not really payin’ attention to you much at all lately, things have been…stressful, and painful, but you didn't deserve the distance, I'm sorry” he looked down and the dancing slowed.

You watched and listened to this, it made your heart ache thinking of everything that's happened to him. You loved him more than anything, more than life itself, but most people took him for granted, and that hurt.

“Coop, look at me” you took your hands and held the sides of his face to make him look down at you again, “It’s okay, I know what you've been through, I know it's been so stressful and you've been hurting, but I'll always be here for you, I love you so much, more than words, and I'll stand by you for the rest of our life together, I love you”

You pulled him down and his lips met yours, he melted into the kiss and wrapped his arms around your whole body, keeping your warmth against him. Letting out an exasperated breath, he relaxed and leant into you and your arms linked around his neck to further deepen the kiss.

When the kiss ended you two just looked into each other's eyes. His amber eyes radiated with the orange sky setting through the window, the green hints flickered like filtered leaves.

“You're beautiful you know that Y/N…” he said dreamily after a while of him studying your face too, “How did I ever deserve you?”

You smiled at his sweet words and gave him another kiss.

“I love you so so much Coop, now please keep dancing with me…”

A/N: Thank you for reading! It's been a while, but I absolutely love Cooper Howard/The Ghoul and the Fallout series, so here I am 😍

Do not borrow/translate/steal

[rebelsafoot]

i think one of the cruelest parts of ambers death in house is that she had to figure out she was dying herself. no one told her, she just heard her symptoms and put the pieces together. that is so fucked up to me, having to diagnose your own death. having to be the one to admit that youre not going to live, having no one to soften the blow. like i know i am probably looking Too Much into this but OHHH it kills me. someone who put so much of herself in her work, someone who was a representation of house who does anything to get a diagnosis, i think its so tragic and its also the only way she would go. of course she knew immediately that she was dying, and of course she said it out loud. its such a small moment but it just shows so much of who amber was and how strong and brave she was and i just love her so much and she deserved so much better

[straykidsnerd255]

Hello! If its cool can I request some Solo-leveling headcanons for how Sung Jinwoo and Liu Zhigang react to overhearing childhood bestfriend casually confessing their long-standing crush on them to another person.

When asked why they won't tell them, reader replies with this laughs sadly and then tells them following reasons:

A) Genuinely doesn't think the boys see them that way at all B) Reader thinks they deserve better than them C) Doesn't want to ruin their friendship

Reader even jokingly admitting to their plans of taking this secret to the grave. Thus being completely unaware that said crush heard everything.

(I hope this isn't too much, but thank you if you decide to do it :))

Here you are! Sorry this came out so late! I couldn’t get my brain to function long enough to write. 

Sung Jinwoo:

You and Jinah have been friends since your childhood. You told each other everything. 

When you told her about your crush on her brother, Jinwoo, she asked why you hadn’t said anything to him and you just looked at the floor and chuckled softly. 

“I don’t think that he likes me like that. I want to tell him. I just don’t want to ruin the friendship that we have.” You mumbled sitting on the floor and pulling your legs to your chest

Jinah placed her hands on her hips and glared playfully at you. 

“Jinwoo is head over heels for you. He loves you to the point he continually talks about you to me when you are not here.” Jinah said. 

You chuckled and waved off her comment before telling her you would take this secret to the grave. 

Jinwoo had come upstairs to see if they wanted to order food and leaned against the wall listening to the two talk. A smile appeared on his face when he heard you like him back. 

A few days had passed before you got the courage to walk over to him and tell him about your crush on him. You didn’t expect him to pull you into a hug and press a kiss to your forehead. 

“I was hoping you would tell me.” He whispered. 

You were completely mortified after learning that he had heard your conversation with his sister. 

He motioned his sister to leave so he could talk to you. She smiled and left the room.

You sat on the bed trying to figure out what to say when you felt Jinwoo’s hand on your chin moving your head to face him. “Look at me Y/n” He whispered. 

You turned to look at him and when to explain but you froze when you felt his lips on yours. 

After a few seconds of shock you leaned forward and kissed him back. You felt a smile appear on your lips. Jinwoo wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close to his chest. 

Pulling away from the kiss, he laid his head on your shoulder and closed his eyes. Your arms wrapped around him and held him close as you slowly leaned back against the wall. You lifted your arm that wasn’t pinned and ran your fingers through his hair, content and happy.

Liu Zhigang

You and Liu have been best friends since you can remember. You told each other everything and did everything together. 

He was extremely protective of you but loved to tease and joke around with you. 

His favorite thing to do was flirt with you. He loved when you got flustered and had a red blush that sat on your face as you would try to bat him away and laugh at his flirting.

One day, he wanted to come and hang out with you before he had to leave for a month-long mission.

Your mother answered the door and smiled seeing him. “Liu! What a surprise! I think she is up in her office working on a project with a coworker but you are more than welcome to go up there.” Your mother said before entering the kitchen to finish lunch.

As he walked up the stairs and got close to your office, he could hear you talking to someone on the phone and leaned against the wall waiting for you to finish the call.

“I don’t know Amber. I have been best friends with him for my whole life and I don’t want to ruin anything. Not only that, I’m not exactly the best for him. He deserves so much better than me.” You said, chuckling sadly. 

Liu glared at the ground thinking about what you said. He didn’t want anyone else. He wanted you. 

When he knew that your call was done he knocked on the door and waited for you to answer. 

When you opened the door, he enveloped you in a hug and held you close to his chest. “I heard everything Y/n, I don’t want anyone else. I only want you. Why do you think I flirt mainly with you and no one else?” He asked, looking at your shocked face. 

“I didn’t think you would like me that way. I just kept my feelings bottled up….”

He leaned forward and pressed his lips to your effectively quieting you down.

You leaned into him and pressed closer to him before he leaned back and smiled at you. 

[invisibleanonymousmonsters]

chapter xvii - gust & flame

Eris Vanserra x Reader

Eris Vanserra has been a prisoner in his own home since the day he was born. He has done what he had to in order to survive and protect the few he loves. And he is playing the long game. Waiting, waiting, and waiting for the right time to make his move, to usurp his wicked father and become High Lord of Autumn Court. But things become even more complicated when a human girl drops into his life. Perhaps Eris can wait no longer to take his throne.

Word Count: 3,500+

masterlist

It only took two turns for Y/N to guess that she had already made a mistake and was surely going to get lost in this ginormous house. 

But it seemed to take even less time before she heard her name being called and Eris’ quick steps behind her. 

Y/N stopped walking, but refused to turn around. 

“We both know you have no idea where you are going,” Eris commented darkly from behind her. 

She sighed and turned to look at him. 

He took that as her silent invitation to let him show her back to her bedchambers. Well…his bedchambers.  But she could sleep in his bed for as long as she so pleased – even if he wasn’t in it along with her. 

The walk was 20 minutes of silence. And Eris knew better than to try and force her to break it when she was in such a delicate state. Little did he know, his silent presence was starting to comfort her.

“I meant what I said,” Eris finally spoke when they stood outside the door to their bedchambers. 

“About what?” She asked for clarity in a soft voice. 

“You are not a prisoner here.”

She just stared into his eyes, looking for any hint of lie. But found none. 

“This home is your own. Go where you please. Use what you wish. If there’s anything you desire, you need only ask.” Then he nodded towards the door. “There are clothes in the wardrobe for you. I had the seamstresses working all day and they were quite confident they got your sizing correct.”

Y/N blinked. “You…Y-You had them make custom dresses for me, all in one day?” 

Eris could not seem to understand why she was confused – and so taken aback. 

“Of course,” he answered, as if it were obvious. “You arrived with almost no belongings.” Only his cloak and the weapons he had gifted her. 

Then she opened the door in a rush and marched to the wardrobe, leaving the door ajar to silently invite him in. 

Y/N opened it to see the most beautiful dresses she’d ever seen. Yes, Rhysand had gifted her clothes while in Night Court. But these dresses…they felt more... her. And there wasn’t just dresses: there was an equal amount of pants and tops, as well. 

“Eris,” she whispered. “This is too much. I…I do not deserve such beautiful clothing.” 

To her surprise, Eris’ eyes darkened and he stepped closer to her. 

Then his stare went up and down her body – not objectifying her, though as if he was trying to find something he couldn’t seem, but she did. 

His amber eyes stared and she wanted to look away, but couldn’t. 

Eris voice was low as he slowly said, “I would like to know who in this life made you ever believe that you are undeserving of clothing.”

Y/N opened and closed her mouth a couple times.

When he put it so simply, it did make her rethink. 

“But it’s not just clothing,” she argued. “It’s far too lovely.”

“So you don’t believe you deserve lovely clothing?”

Y/N glared at him now, seeing the game he was playing. 

Eris took another step closer to her. And it made Y/N’s heart beat a little faster. She wondered if his fae senses could hear it. 

His eyes flickered from her y/e/c eyes to her lips before he said, “If there is one thing I shall achieve during your stay here, it’s to untrain that mind of yours and stop you from ever thinking you are undeserving of the very best.” His head tilted closer to her. “You should be gifted anything you have ever wanted. You…” He paused. “You should be worshipped, Y/N.”

He lifted his head back, giving her space to linger on what he just said. 

Y/N was grateful for it, because she was convinced her knees would give out at any second.

If her heart was speeding up before, now it was threatening to beat out of her chest. Her breathing was heavy, and she was struggling to control it. 

No man had ever spoken to her the way Eris just did. And she somehow knew that no one else ever would, either.

Eris took a step backward. “Goodnight, Y/N.”

He bowed his head and left, closing the door gently behind him. 

Y/N stood frozen in place for minutes before she could find it in herself to move.

–🍁–🍁–🍁–

The next morning, Lucien was once again guarding her door.

Y/N suspected that Eris assigned at least one of his guards while she slept, before his brother reached his post. 

This time, Lucien was standing and reading a book. 

“Do I really require a babysitter?” Y/N moaned. 

Though, if she were being honest, she’d recognize that she had no idea what she would do with herself in this place alone. 

Lucien smiled in that cocky way of his. Then he took in Y/N’s dress carefully.  “I see you are making use of your new wardrobe…”

She said nothing and only awkwardly shifted her weight as her face got warm. 

“I don’t think I need another tour,” Y/N announced quietly, hoping not to sound rude. 

“Good. Because I did not plan on giving one.”

“He must be busy…” Y/N thought aloud as she started following her escort. 

Lucien frowned. “It is not easy transitioning to High Lord, especially after this Court has been ruled by Beron for so long.” 

“Will the people accept him?” 

“It would be best if they did…” he hummed. 

Y/N paused and looked at Lucien with fear. “He wouldn’t…Eris would never…he wouldn’t hurt anyone for the disrespect if they did not…w-would he?” 

Lucien seemed amused by both her concern and uncertainty. “Doubtful. Eris wishes do abolish Beron’s evil, not renew it. But there are still those who will question his power and if he is fit to rule at all.” 

“But the Cauldron chose him!” Y/N argued. "The powers of Autumn Court are with him.” 

Lucien shrugged. “Sometimes the courtiers need more than that.” 

“Where are we going?” She suddenly asked. 

“To the kitchens,” Eris answered. “My brother nearly throttled me when he found out I had taken you on a three-hour tour without feeding you beforehand.”

“Will you stay…now that Eris is High Lord?” 

Her waiting gaze was nervous, as if she was scared the question was rude and she was stepping out of line by asking it. 

Lucien sighed. “My brother has assured me that one of his first acts as the new High Lord was to rescind my exile. I am welcome once again in Autumn Court.” 

“But do you wish to actually return?” 

It was obvious these were all questions that had been racing through Lucien’s mind. But it was also obvious that he did not have steadfast answers. 

“It is nice having you here…” Y/N admitted quietly, giving him time to consider his answer. But also offering him an out to change the subject, and not answer at all. 

Lucien gave her a shy smirk. “The feeling is mutual.” Then he frowned. “But you intend to return to the Mortal Lands as soon as Eris deems it safe.” 

Y/N stopped walking and frowned. “You must think me no better than Elain.”

“Well, Elain does not even acknowledge my existence. At least you actually converse with my brother.” 

It took Y/N a moment to realize he was teasing her. She looked up to see him smiling mischievously down at her. 

Y/N’s brow furrowed. “Perhaps you fae will never understand it…”

“Understand what?” 

“The power of choice was taken away from us. We mortals live a short life. A bad decision – or the lack of choice – could greatly change our lifetime. Our lifespan…it’s just a blink of your immortality.” 

Lucien understood what Y/N was trying to tell him. And he wondered if this was why Elain pushed him away again and again. He was thrust onto her at her most vulnerable, ruining the life she had imagined for herself. 

“So…you are upset that the Cauldron chose for you?” 

“Feyre explained that mating bonds do not always imply love…”

Lucien wanted to correct her, to tell her that was not the case for his brother. But he knew it was not his place. Perhaps it was not yet love Eris had for Y/N. But Lucien could see it was quickly nearing. Without the threat of Beron, Eris was free to choose his mate – choose to love and protect her. If only Y/N realized that it was not a situation of the Cauldron forcing them together out of spite. 

“This is true,” Lucien couldn’t help but agree. “Throughout history, some mates have despised each other. But you have spent time around Feyre and Rhysand, Nesta and Cassian. Surely you understand the power the bond can mean for others.” 

Y/N didn’t respond, just remained lost in her own head. 

––

Lucien had snuck them into the kitchens that were bustling with energy and cooks. There was a little nook in the corner, out of everyone’s way. It was just big enough so two could eat together discreetly. 

As soon as they were seated, a cook came over with a shy, but warm smile. She appeared to be lesser fae, with almost red skin and bright, golden hair. Her eyes were entirely black though – no irises or pupils to be found. 

She bowed her head to both of them, the gesture taking Y/N aback. In both hands were two plates full of breakfast. She gently placed them down. 

“I will be back with coffee and tea,” she told them almost apologetically. 

“Thank you,” Y/N managed to say before the cook scurried out of sight. 

Y/N looked to Lucien with a questioning gaze.

“There are many who wish to meet the legendary witch who rid the court of Beron Vanserra.” 

Y/N scoffed. “I hardly even helped. I was more in the way than anything. The winds tell me it was you, Eris, and your mother who truly ended him.” 

Lucien’s face turned serious as he said, “If you think my brother could have found the courage to face Beron without you, then you truly do not understand your importance here.”

The cook returned, holding two giant mugs in each hand with impressive finesse. In one set was coffee and in their other appeared to be earl grey tea. 

Lucien gave a nod and looked into her eyes as he said, “Thank you, Marwyna.” 

Even with her red skin, she seemed to be blushing at such attention. 

“Yes, thank you. It looks delicious,” Y/N also urged. 

The two of them ate without conversation. If it weren’t for the bustling of the kitchens they sat in, there would’ve been complete silence between the two. 

Lucien could tell something had been struck in Y/N’s mind and she had no retreated there, thinking and thinking and thinking. 

It wasn’t until both of their plates were nearly clean when she finally spoke. 

“I make him weak,” Y/N breathed. “I am just a mortal. I could so easily be used against him. It would be better if I….if I just d-d-disappeared.” 

Lucien watched Y/N, reading her face to see that she truly believed the words she spoke.

But it would not be him that could make her realize how wrong she was. He would need to have a long conversation with Eris. Only his brother could make Y/N understand how important she was – to him, to Autumn Court. 

So, all Lucien stead was, “There is nothing weak about you, Y/N.” 

She blinked in surprise at his declaration. 

“Now if we are finished eating and feeling sorry for ourselves, I think a nice walk around the gardens would do us well.” 

A whisper of a smirk showed on Y/N’s lips as she nodded. 

—🍁—🍁—🍁—

“That is all for today,” Eris announced to his table of advisors as he stood. 

He could sense everyone’s mental exhaustion. But mostly he could feel is own.

There was…much to be repaired in Autumn Court. Beron ruled with fear and without any mercy, and it would take a lot to undo such philosophies. 

His mother sat to his right and gave him a sympathetic look as the fae bowed their heads and slowly took their leave from the great hall. 

However, Leonora stayed behind. 

Eris had already grown exhausted with his High Lord duties. Though he had prepared for centuries to have such power, nothing could’ve prepared him for the toll it took on his mind and body. 

Leonora waited for them to be left alone before she spoke. 

Then she subtly nodded her head to the other end of the hall that led to a balcony that oversaw the courtyard below. 

Eris held out his arm for his mother before moving. 

She squeezed his arm to comfort him. “You cannot change this Court overnight, Eris.” 

“We are moving too slowly,” he argued. 

Leonora smiled. “I know you have patience, for you waited centuries to for this opportunity. But you must still practice that same patience to mold Autumn Court for the good of its denizens.” 

As they walked onto the balcony, Eris was hit with the fresh, brisk air of autumn. The sun was nearing the horizon as it set for the day.

It was common for mist and fog to linger in this court.

And today’s dusk was no different, leaving a haunting feeling to the courtyard below. 

When Eris looked over the edge of the railing, he froze. 

Below were his acclaimed smoke hounds. 

Everyone in the Forest House feared them. They did not take kindly to anyone that wasn't their master. Because they were feared for good reason: trained to hunt and kill – if ordered. They only tolerated their handlers by command of Eris, since he could not solely take care of them himself – especially now that he was High Lord. Even his mother was careful around them. They’d never attack her, but they were by no means fond of the Lady of Autumn either.

But below him, the pack was surrounding Y/N, who sat on the ground as they all wagged their tails, fighting each other to lick her. 

Two pups from the most recent litter were cuddled on Y/N's lap, as she giggled from all the affection the adult hounds gave her.  

Then Eris spotted Lucien a few yards away from Y/N, with a look of exasperation. Most of his childhood Lucien spent trying to win over his brother’s smoke hounds. They only grew to tolerate him, never showing him acceptance or affection. 

Any time Lucien so much as shifted his weight, the hounds would interpret it as him trying to get closer to Y/N, and they would all let out a warning growl.

It made Lucien roll his eyes. And Eris swore he heard his youngest brother mutter, “Stupid, overprotective mutts. Of course you would like her…” 

“Seems like your hounds have brought your mate some joy,” Leonora hummed as she also looked down at the sight with a knowing smile. 

Eris couldn’t deny how much it warmed his heart. 

Perhaps they remembered Y/N from that dreadful day he found her in the forest. Or perhaps they could also sense that Y/N was their master’s mate. 

—

“There is so many of them!” Y/N giggled as the hounds kissed her face, tickling her. 

“They will not even let me pet them and look at you!” Lucien called out bitterly. 

Then a whistle pierced the air. 

The pack of one dozen dogs immediately retreated, forming a straight line, like little soldiers. 

Y/N sat straight and twisted to see that they were now facing Eris, who had stepped into the courtyard and stood straight with his hands clasped behind my back. 

She also jumped to her feet. For some reason, she felt like she had been caught doing something mischievous. But she still had the two puppies in each hand. Clearly, they were too young to know the same commands as the others. 

Eris walked further into the courtyard. “I see you have met my smoke hounds.”

Y/N quickly, but gently, put the two puppies on the ground. But as soon as she let them go, they looked up at her and started whining. 

Eris looked at the two handlers, who had been standing watch, and then at his brother.

“Leave us,” he commanded politely, but firmly. 

Lucien glared at his eldest brother. But still followed his command, giving Y/N a polite nod before also leaving the courtyard. 

Then it was just Y/N, Eris, and his hounds. 

Y/N, still thinking like she was caught doing something wrong, immediately stuttered out, “L-Lucien and I were just going for a walk when we came upon your handlers and the dogs. They approached me! I didn’t mean to disrupt them.”

Eris finally smirked at her. “You seem to be under the impression that I plan on scolding you.”

Y/N blinked. “Well…I…yes.” 

Eris wondered what he had to do to make his mate realize she could never do anything to upset him so pettily. 

He looked at his hounds and said, “Effrenate.” 

The hounds relaxed and all went to greet their master with wagging tails. 

“Animals seem to have a certain draw to you…” Eris noted as he kneeled to greet his dogs with pets and affection. 

“Most witches have a connection to that of nature,” Y/N mumbled, almost as if she were embarrassed by this certain trait. 

“So you have bewitched my hounds?” Eris asked with playfulness in his eyes. 

“Of course not,” she quickly answered with a huff, as she picked up the two puppies again and walked toward their master. 

“Do you have names for them all?” Y/N asked. 

“Of course.” His gaze went up to the two in her hand. “That is Aspen and Brutus.” 

Both puppies tails wagged even harder at their names being called out. Y/N smiled down at them when she noticed it. 

Then he went around and listed off the rest of the names.

“Now that I know they are all so fond of you,” Eris began. “Perhaps I should leave a few of them to guard you during your stay.” 

“I wouldn’t mind the company. But is my safety really at such risk here?” 

“I should hope not,” Eris answered lowly. “Though it would ease my guilt from leaving you alone for such long periods of time.” 

“You are a High Lord. You have more important matters than entertaining me. Though I hope you start to take pity on Lucien and dismiss his duties as my personal jester.” 

Eris smiled at her subtle jab toward his brother. 

His smiles were rare before. But now there was brightness there that Y/N doubted existed before Beron’s demise. 

He was so handsome. Not that it hadn’t been the first thing Y/N noticed when she had met Eris officially in the Night Court. But Y/N would not be surprised if the power of being a High Lord somehow enhanced his looks.  

Eris’ amber eyes almost glow with a warmth that only ever seemed to be directed toward her. And his cloak-like jacket fit his body perfectly, showing off his posture and strong presence. He would immediately be noticed in any room he walked into.

“You should never hide your smile,” Y/N blurted out before she could stop herself.

Her eyes widened in embarrassment when she realized what she had just said aloud.

“Excuse me,” she quickly added. “I should not say such things so carelessly.” 

But Eris ignored her apology. “Whatever smiles you see are your doing.” 

Y/N's face warmed at his implication. 

But then something dark suddenly clouded her face. “I should return to my rooms.”

Eris stood up from his dogs. “Will you not join me for dinner?” 

Y/N carefully placed the two puppies in Eris’ grasp and only looked at them as she answered, “I would like to eat dinner alone in my rooms, if that is alright.” 

“O-Of course,” was all Eris could manage to say back. 

What would he do instead? Force her to have dinner with him? Is that not what Tamlin did when Feyre was imprisoned in Spring Court? Or at least, that is what Eris had heard. 

Had he said something to upset her? 

“Your training,” Eris called out before Y/N could fully escape the courtyard. 

She turned to him, brow wrinkled with clear confusion. 

“Do you wish to continue your training?” Eris clarified. 

Even though it was just the two of them, Y/N still looked around the courtyard as if she would find another person Eris could possibly be talking to. 

“I would,” she finally answered slowly. 

“I will assign my Weapons Master to train with you tomorrow. He shall meet you here.” 

Y/N opened her mouth to protest. 

“Before you say some nonsense about not wanting to be a bother,” Eris continued before she could speak. “It would bring me great peace to know you are keeping up with your training.”

She just watched him for a moment. 

Eventually she nodded, and said, “Tomorrow then.”

––––––

*for those curious, the breed I used to reference Eris' smoke hounds is a Dogo Argentino. (I know most people imagine a grey hound, but they look like rats to me and I like this breed more. And they seem more badass anyways.)

Please write me a book report, comment, send me a message. They make me happy and keep me writing. Be like @pancakefancake.

Chapter XVIII

[stargazing-imagines]

Hold Me — Conrad Fisher x Fem!Reader

Description: you are back in Cousins, but along with you came a secret that you are hiding from Conrad.

Warning: fighting, violence, slight Domestic Violence, let me know if there’s more ASAP! Plus if you are in a Domestic Relationship, YOU DESERVE BETTER! just putting that out there! NOT EDITED!!

Fandom: the summer I turned pretty

A/n: it’s summer again and you know what that means!! TSITP imagines! So get ready for a ton of them! We may not be getting season 3 till 2025, but that doesn't mean the fics stop there! Enjoy Connie Baby Stans *Winky emoji*

“I don’t know what Conrad is going to say when he sees Connor.” You said as you were packing your suitcase to head back at another summer at Cousins beach, your best friend Carolina who sitting beside your open suitcase on the bed.

“Come on y/n, Conrad shouldn’t be that upset.” Said Caroline “I mean he was the one to break up with you, and you’re better then that.”

You half smiled at your friend before looking down at your suitcase, to say that you were looking forward to cousins would be a lie.

“I don’t know… the breakup was pretty messy.” You said removing your suitcase before sitting down on your bed.

“Yeah it was bad, you were in a ice cream coma for a long time.” Said carolina “besides this summer is the summer to embrace who you are! Be yourself.”

You smiled at Carolina, before nodding your head in confidence.

"Your right! I need to just be myself."

"That's the spirit." said Carolina "Now I have to go home before my mom makes an Amber Alert for me." said Carolina as she looked at her phone before looking back up at you "Have fun, remember, call me if I need to fight anybody."

You laughed waving her off.

"Ok kids I need you all to pitch in to help with the chores this summer." said you mother "Plus with Susannah in the shape that she is we will be helping her as much as we can."

"Wait... What do you mean with the shape that she is in?" you asked as you stopped mid-bite of your Fruity Pebbles.

"We didn't want to tell you kids till the end of summer because of the boys but... Susannah's cancer is back."

"is she going to be ok, right?" you asked, pestering your mother with questions about her health, your mother stayed silent.

"Oh my god... I need to talk to belly." you said as you stand up, but your mother stops you with her hand on your arm.

"She can't know y/n." said your mother "Susannah wanted to wait till the summer is over so that we all can have one last full summer together.

You nodded your head, letting the news sink in.

"ok mom... I keep it a secret."

"Come on Conrad, you seriously can't still be hung up on y/n." said Jeremiah as he was playing video games with steven, taking his eyes off the tv every few seconds.

"I heard that she got hot." said Steven "From the way Belly talks she has a whole boyfriend and everything."

"Can we stop talking about y/n?" asked Conrad as kept his focus on the television "Besides I don't care if she has a boyfriend or not."

"Oh thats right?" asked Steven as he paused the video game to face Conrad "Your dating Nicole."

At that moment, Belly came stumbling down the stairs in a blue and white summer dress, before she can open the door; laurel stops her.

"Where do you think you're going young lady?"

'Over to y/n's house... Me and Cam are double dating her and Conner at the drive in."

"Well... Ok." said Laurel "But be back by 10."

"11?" asked Belly

"10:30, and that's it."

"Yay! see you guys later." said Belly as she walked out the door, Laurel walks back into the kitchen, the boys hearing hushed voices from Susannah and Laurel.

"Belly has a date?"

"With y/n and Conner."

"Oh that sweet boy that Connie keeps mentioning? he so handsome, apparently he is lifeguarding with Jeremiah at the country club this summer.

"You know what I'm thinking?' whispered Steven to Jeremiah and Conrad.

"No... what?" asked Jeremiah

"Crashing this 'double date'."

"You know we can't do that?" asked Conrad

"Yeah but do you really want to leave y/n alone with this conner freakshow?"

"And see Belly making out with Cam Cameron? no way!" said Jeremiah

"Come on... I know you want to."

"Ugh fine!" said Conrad "lets go."

It was pitch dark at the drive-in, Barbie playing on the screen. Belly and Cam were in the back talking, and whispering. Y/n, and Conner were in the front seat, conner with his arm around y/n, and her head on his shoulder.

"Can you guys be quiet? we're trying to watch the movie?" asked y/n as she looked towards the back.

"Your no fun?" said Belly as she playfully shoved you.

"Your getting Cherry Coke all over my car!" yelled out Conner in a playful manner, but it didn't seem playful.

'Conner, chill." you said "She just a teenage girl."

"I know but did she have to come with us?" Whispered Conner "I mean..."

"She's my best friend Conner."

"She's 15 years old." said Conner "You shouldn't be hanging around with 15 year olds."

"That's it. I have had enough." you said as you get out of the car, slamming the door making Cam, and belly shrug their shoulders.

"What is wrong with you?!" shouted Conner as he came running behind you as you were speed walking away from the scene.

"Away from you!" you yelled before walking away again, that was the moment that you saw Conner's true colors.

He placed his hand on you arm, tightly swing you around to face him. Terrified to your core at his sudden move.

"Listen here, you are going to be a good girl and walk back to the car if you don't want anything bad to happen."

"Get your hands off her!"

you turned around, and saw Conrad trailing behind you.

"This doesn't apply to you." said Conner "Now go!"

"She not going anywhere with you, Jeremiah go get Belly and Cam they don't need to be hanging around this guy."

Jeremiah Nodded his head before walking away, Conrad facing you again, checking you over.

"Your ok?" asked Conrad "He didn't hurt you did he?" You shook your head.

"Go wait in the car." said Conrad as he looked Conner stern in the eye you followed his command walking away from the situtation.

"This isn't a place to fight man but what you did tonight really hurt her."

"Shes my girlfriend, she told me all about you and how you dumped her last summer." said Conner "You really think you are the guy for her huh?"

"Oh I know I'm the guy for her, and because of what you did... You deserve this."

With that, Conrad punched Conner in the face which resulted him into breaking his nose.

"Dude you broke my nose!"

"Be glad that was all that you have broken."

With that Conrad left

"How long has this been happening?" asked Conrad

"Ever since we broke up..."

"What else has he done to you?" Asked Conrad concerned

"I don't want to talk about it..." you said "Can you please hold me?"

"Of course."

The Summer I turned Pretty Masterlist

[dreambigdreamz]

If it makes you feel any better, I have no doubt that there are people working on exposing and taking Depp down on a global scale as we speak. He'll go down in history as the abuser and rapist that he is, probably even while he's still alive. He himself made sure of it. He brought so much attention to his shit, he pissed off more than enough people who care, he has hurt and humiliated far more people than Amber. Only recently, people wrote "wifebeater" over his ugly Dior ads in Paris, while the world was there for the Olympics. More shit about him comes out almost on the daily, he's letting his own fans down with various different fuck ups. He's his own demise. Meanwhile, I focus on supporting Amber and taking her as an inspiration for what unbreakable female strength is. Here is some more info on who she is underneath all the lies Darvo Depp and his supporters invented about her:

https://proamberheard.com/ibelieveyouas-thread-giving-amber-her-humanity-back/

hey nonny! sorry for the looong wait but thanks for the consideration. it makes it better to know he’ll get what he deserves.

i never really much cared about depp. we watch a few movies but when, this morning, my little brother talked of charlie and the chocolate factory this subject popped up in my mind and it’s quite a downer to associate smth nice from childhood with smth like this. same with harry potter.

what i care more about is the other cases and future possibilities of having more women go through like amber heard. i’m honestly happy for her and her child away from all this shit, but knowing people we’ll cycle back into the old habits once smth new starts up again and we get duped like i was initially. i’m sad about that. so i am hoping hoping hoping very much that this case will give more awareness to others and less ferocious attacks on the woman.

taking up the torch to share this with more and more people!

[mythalsknickers]

WIP Wednesday

I got tagged by @vir-tanadahl 🥰 It might be a bit of a cop out since i posted a later installment of this for @thedissonantverses (Consider yourself tagged if you like) Wednesday Writing Challenge. However I figure this might be a good chance to drop a wip for my Athras Mercar fic A Soul's Spillway (title might change) Idk yet. This is scene is immediately afterwards where as the scene for WWC was like a week later. Word count is 1306  As for official tags, I don't have any tag me if you want me to see your WIPS though :) Divider is by @dreadfutures from this post

The fire warmed her as she stood at the table carefully cutting the ingredients she needed. Her hand tightened around the knife, the tears burning her eyes were unwanted. Damn that  pompous altus bastard for making her care again about his sorry too rich for her own good hide. She stabbed  the knife into the table. 

“Ugh! I hope the maker spits on you! Fuck you Ashur Vesperian!” She screamed, doubling up her fist and shaking it. There was a moment where she almost swung at the stone that made up the fireplace. Another frustrated groan she turned back to the table. She was a Soporati of Tevinter. She reminded herself slowly walking back to the ingredients.

“Through the Ward of Brona’s Bloom..” the delicate blue petals went into the mortar with a little bit of sugar. “The mercy of Barbwood’s bite” the dark bark followed suit with another pinch of sugar. “And Crystal’s Grace, sped by Royal’s salve.” the poem rolled off her tongue as she added one more final pinch of his sugar. As much as she wanted to punch Ashur for being so incredibly stupid, she did not want him to suffer needlessly from an overly bitter potion. Bit by bit she ground the ingredients until they were a fine powder. The door of the pantry opened, and at this hour.. Her golden eyes glanced to her left, the Crow had come out of his pantry and for once Lucanis did look rested. Her fingers tightened around the mortar.  Exhaling slowly she forced her hand to loosen. It had been a judgement call and the prayer of faith in her own people. A city that had no military, built entirely on canals as opposed to the incredibly broken home she had known that had two militaries, a resistance group, and a floating palace that more often than naught used the lasers on its own citizens. A blighted dragon should not have been a problem… but the venatori. Her hand tightened around the pestle, wood  digging into her hand. Damn it all, she had hoped they would have been better than that. As broken as Minrathous was. Salt burned her eyes as she stared into the mortar. They should have been better than that. To turn a blighted dragon on the city.

“Athras!” The voice carried a hint of an edge, something to break the emotional storm. The pestle fell to the table with a thump as she jumped, her hands going to her sides instinctively. Amber eyes met worried Brown eyes. Damn those eyes. “About Minrathous–” she took a breath picking up the Pestle.

“Please don’t Lucanis. I stand by my decision to go help Treviso–” He had moved off to the side, towards the coffee pot and she continued to work the mixture. “That does not mean you are not allowed to grieve.” Her eyes snapped to the crow, narrowing just a fraction. Her father’s words came back to the forefront of her mind. “Do Crows grieve? I have heard you train your emotions back.”  there was no venom to it but it was certainly a quip. Setting the pestle down she gently moved her fingers through the powdered ingredients checking for anything not reduced to the fine powder, there was a sigh by him as he came back over to the table. “Yes, though it may not seem like it.” Her eyes flicked to his for a moment watching him before carefully measuring the powder in multiple vials.

“I am sorry, you did not deserve my bite.” The silence was broken as she looked through the vials, his hand waved this time though she did not relent. “I know, I am allowed to be hurt and to grieve…” her pause hung between them as she carefully poured lyrium into the vials. “Minrathous was broken long before the false gods, and really we only have-” Her voice caught as she forced the words out. “-ourselves to blame.” The vial swirled in her fingers, the color changing from a lyrium blue to a more restorative blue.  “It is hard to mourn when you knew it was coming, even if you didn’t want to believe it, and tears will not help anyone right now.” One by one she laid the vials on a rack, tucking her dominant foot behind her, she pivoted laying the rack down over the fire, her eyes closing for a moment. If the maker was really there, if he could just listen just this once. Tarquin’s words filled her brain.

“He took a claw to the gut. A claw from a blighted dragon. Think about that!”  Tears welled up as she stared into the fire. It was her fault. She had abandoned a city that never felt like home, and the youngest, most liberal divine in the history of the Imperium was blighted. “That dignitary almost died, Mecar! It was a simple scouting and guarding mission!” All she did was ruin things, even her successes put others in the line of fire. Her breath stuttered as she gripped her knees. Some Shadow Dragons had run-ins with them… She squeezed her eyes tight. All she could do was finish the potions, and make Ashur take one. The rest she could give to Tarquin, he’d make sure Ashur took them. “You are an elf, Athras. You must be better in every metric. Never allow them to doubt you.” Another shaky breath as she stared into the fire. An Elf and Soporati…and a worthless one at that. A dull knife, a broken fang. All she did was ruin everything. The flames licked her gloves, and for a moment she could feel the flame as she pulled the tray out and set it back on the table. The liquid in the vials glistened a vibrant gold, the one thing she could do that didn’t turn to ash in her wake. Lucanis said something she saw his lips move but she couldn’t hear them.  The fire crackled, the coffee pot was brewing…one by one the sounds came back.

“Did…you say something Lucanis?” Reaching up her fingers moved through her curls. “I asked when you last slept, and if you would like some coffee.” She could feel his gaze and she looked over her shoulder expecting judgement only to be met with…concern. Her brows knitted for a moment. “Coffee sounds lovely actually.” She quietly pulled out a chair sitting down leaning on the table. “You are not going to dodge that first question.” She raised a brow at him watching as he pulled out…no a Tevene cezve.

“No telling Neve this exists.” She bit her lip watching him grind the coffee beans down. “You know–” His eyes narrowed at her and she bit her lip again going back to looking over the potions. Tevene coffee, she has not had that since she left Minrathous a year ago. “Three days, since I am not going to dodge that question.” She finally relented, admittedly the last three nights had filled her notebook, and she needed to go to Treviso and get a new one. Oh, how quickly had it happened, the last time she bought sketching supplies, at Ashur’s insistence had been at a market she could not even afford, he paid for it. Yet her whole day in Treviso getting a new notebook was already planned. 

A cup of coffee was placed in front of her and the screeching of a chair against the floor pulled her out of her thoughts. Picking up the cup she just smelled it. No acidic lingering taste of blood magic, lyrium tasting rain. It didn’t bring to memory the thoughts of H-Tevinter. Taking a small breath she took a sip, her nose wrinkling at the shock of the bitterness. Bitter to harden the soul, that was what she had told herself.

[rhettabbotts]

first and foremost! congrats on hitting 1.2k shelby!!! you deserve all of those and so many more followers!

you and i have been talking about dilf!rhett and his reading glasses recently. so i'm here with a request.

the smut dialogue prompt of "how do i look" but it's dilf!rhett after he gets his glasses

wired frames - dilf rhett abbott

pairing: dilf!rhett abbott x babysitter!reader

summary: rhett achieves the highest dilf status.

warnings: suggestive language. babysitter’s horny thoughts. pre-relationship. age gap as always.

Rhett hated calling you in on a Friday.

Fridays were always your days off. Unfortunately, it was the only day the eye doctor could get him in and he couldn’t take Grace and Ellie with him. You didn’t mind to come in. Silencing Rhett when he promised that you could leave as soon as he was back.

The girls were elated to see you when they came down for breakfast. Grace demanded you fixed blueberry pancakes because “yours were way better than daddy’s.” Ellie rambled on about her new stuffed bear, insisting Mr. Fuzz-a-lots sat at the table while they shoveled in their food.

They were filled with so much energy, chasing each other with the water hose, trying to stave off the early summer heat. You sat with a book in your hand, catching yourself daydreaming about a certain cowboy - who also happened to be your boss.

You tried to shake the feeling, tried everything to rid your mind of wandering thoughts of Rhett but you couldn’t help it. Not when you had to see him nearly every day. As some sick joke from the universe, Rhett’s truck came roaring up the gravel road. The girls screeched as he stepped out, your heart doing the same.

Wired frames now adorned his face. The silver glinted in the scorching sun and your breath caught in your throat. Holy shit. It’s like they were magic and made his hair appear silvery as well. Your whole body was set ablaze.

You averted your eyes before he could catch you staring but that didn’t stop him from making his way to you, barely escaping the two drenched children.

“So…” Rhett said in a curious tone, causing you to look up to the man standing before you. “What do you think?”

Your mouth dried as he preened, posing and wiggling the glasses that were perched on his nose. His perfect nose that you’d give anything to feel against your-

“About what?” You asked nonchalantly, calmly. As if you weren’t actively trying to beat your brain with a baseball bat.

“The glasses. How do I look? Look too old?” He inquired.

So handsome. Sexy. Like I want to kiss you until they fog up.

“They look good,” you stated, keeping your responses short in order to save yourself some embarrassment.

“They look good, she says. You really know how to compliment a man, honey,” Rhett joked before making his way inside. Leaving you a sweltering mess on the porch.

You ended up staying for dinner - on behalf of Ellie getting on her knees practically begging you. You could never say no to her. Rhett made his “signature pasta” which was just spaghetti but you indulged him. It was rather good.

As he put the girls to bed, you helped wash up. You were drying the last dish when you heard his footsteps descending down the stairs. He wasn’t even in the room yet and your heart rate spiked. Damn him and the unknowing hold he had on you.

Rhett saddled up behind you, reaching up to grab a whiskey glass. His broad chest pressed against your back, heat radiating from his body that you could feel through your t-shirt. You couldn’t breathe. When you did inhale all you could smell was him.

“Want a drink?” He questioned, warm breath washing over you, tightening your throat in a vice grip. All you could do was nod.

He poured two glasses of the amber liquid, his new frames seated on his face once more. You were certain he put them back on just to tease you. Just to make you go mental - if the way his thin lips quirked up at the corner were any indication.

“What do you really think about these?” He asked after a beat of silence.

You were on the spot now. It was just the two of you. You had nowhere to hide. No book to stick your nose into.

“You look - you look very handsome. Smart. They bring out the blue in your eyes,” you stuttered with shaky breath. He hummed in response, a strand of hair falling out of place and onto his forehead. You couldn’t stop yourself from reaching out and tucking it behind his ear, pulling away swiftly.

It really did bring out the grey in his hair. You wanted to run your fingers through it and-

“You’re real sweet, honey.”

“I should - I should get going. It’s late,” you whispered.

“Yeah… have a good weekend, Tillerson. Thanks again for sticking around today.” Rhett fumbled with his wallet for some cash, brushing you off when you tried to tell him not to worry about it.

“I’ll see you Monday.”

“Bright and early.”

You couldn’t rid your mind of the image of Rhett in his glasses all weekend. No matter how much you tried.

[traumatizedjaguar]

abusers are mad bc they helped smear campaign an innocent fucking woman and now they're grasping at straws to try to justify their actions and further bully her.

[lacependragon]

Debbie and Amber are hands down the best parts of the Invincible show and I am so fucking glad that when they adapted the show, everyone in charge went "hey we should do better than the comics" and did. I've heard a lot of things that make me never want to read the comics but make me so, so glad the show exists and is tweaking the story to be this.

Amber and Debbie are two characters in a superhero series that never get the attention or characterization they deserve and here is this show going they matter. Of course they matter. They matter so fucking much that the story, that Mark, is completely changed by their existence. (And I get that Debbie gets some of that in the comics, but.) Fuck me man they're both so fucking well-written and human.

[vee-beeee]

Snow Day

HELLO

Im back with more, also im working on getting an AO3 account so ill be posting a lot here

This is another fluffy one, then its back to goofy crime scenarios

Premise: It's a snow day, you go sleding, and you win a very intense snowball fight. (feat. hank and sumo)

Conner and Nines x reader

Warnings: fluff, like so much fluff, snowball fights and maybe one or two swear words. You never know with hank

2k words baby

edit: i wanted to get this out sooner but my POWER WENT OUT. Also I honestly don't know how to feel about this but I worked hard so here it issss hope it's not to cringeee

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You woke up to your alarm blaring through a sleepy room. You noticed it, started to stir, and then instantly fell asleep again. Totally on accident! And usually someone would wake you up before you fell asleep. Strange.

Later, you opened your eyes again slowly, feeling yourself sprawled out on your bed. You felt the hard pillow you were on moving, like it was talking or something. Blinking and looking up, you see a pair of honey brown eyes and a smile that could rival the sun looking back.

Oh. Your pillow was Conner.

You smiled back, and then in point 2 seconds realized how horrible you probably looked. You instantly started wiping your face, realizing you had totally drooled on him a little.

You heard a gentle voice, filled with delight, calling your name. You looked back at Conner and he asked you why you were rubbing your face so hard.

"I probably look horrible Conner that's why" you laughed a little while you said it, averting your gaze to anywhere but him. But a loving hand came to redirect your face to look at him again.

"I think you look adorable when you sleep, especially when you use me as a pillow. Problem solved." He did his little lopsided smile, LED a calm blue, and you instantly melted. What did you do to deserve him and Nines.

Wait where was Nines?

You guessed you accidently asked that out loud because you got a response. You were still super sleepy.

"He's making breakfast. We may have had a slight kerfuffle on who gets to snuggle with you for the morning. But he's better at cooking anyway." You guys shared another smile and you scooted up on his body to press a kiss to his cheek. His LED flashed amber and he grinned blissfully at you. You really got to admire his sleepy form now, his brown hair was messed up and he was only wearing a white shirt and black sweatpants. You approve this fit. You guys were so busy staring at each other like love sick teenagers you didn't here someone walk in the room and grab your feet. You yelped as you were dragged off of Conner while he fake reached for you. You fell off the bed on a pile of blankets and looked up to see a similar handsome face smirking at you.

"When your done gawking at each other, I made you special pancakes."

You instantly shot up and fell a little at your speed. A hand reached out to stabilize you by grabbing your wait and you blushed, quietly asking if it was okay to hug him and he nodded softening up a little. You hugged him and kissed his chest, quickly grabbing a blanket off the floor and wrapping it around yourself, before hurrying excitedly out of your guys' shared room. You made it halfway down the hallway before remembering a VERY important aspect of your life.

"WORK" was all you managed to yell out before running to the kitchen to look at the clock hung on the wall. It read 10:34 and you almost fainted. You were supposed to be in the station at 7:00 sharp.

You were still staring at the clock when your boys walked in, looking at you in amusement.

"We decided to surprise you and we all have the day off." Nines simply stated, arms crossing over his chest to gaze at you.

"Its a perfect day for it too, look outside" was what Conner said before walking to wrap his arms around your blanketed body. You turned to look over your kitchen island, to your ceiling to floor windows in your apartment.

It was snowing. Hard.

You laughed with amazement, it looked beautiful. Like how winters looked in your childhood memories. You felt Conner's arms release you, and you gravitated towards the window when you heard a throat clearing. You whipped around to Nines who was looking at you with amusement and handing you a plate of the most delicious looking pancakes known to man. You quickly took it and gawked at the pancakes, they looked and smelled amazing. Thanking him like 30 times while he chuckled, you sat down at the kitchen island facing the windows so you could watch the snow come down. You had your blanket draped over you while you ate, and that made everything extra cozy. You moaned on the first bite, Nines was genuinely a really good cook. Besides being programmed to know a few basic meals, he also explored this hobby after full deviancy. He really enjoyed it as an activity for himself.

While you were eating, Conner came to sit next to you and slid a mug of Hot Coco over to you. It even had SPRINKLES on it. Were you dreaming still?

He gave you another signature sun boy smile when you looked at him with the biggest, heartfelt gaze you could muster. He and Nines just talked to each other while you ate. You always felt a little awkward eating around them because they couldn't. But they said they just enjoyed watching you, Nines specifically appreciated being able to have you taste test what he made.

You overheard them discussing what to do that day, and you quickly swallowed another bite and piped up

"It's snowing, we could go sledding in the park! Or make snowman, or snowball fight" you started rattling off ideas and the androids turn to watch how excited you looked when talking about the activities. That basically settled what you all were doing that day.

You spent an hour getting ready with the boys, both of them making sure you were wrapped up tight. They also had turned their internal body temperature up, so when you held hands theirs would be warm. It would also help so their internal systems would not freeze, but it would have to be super cold for that to happen. They still dressed in jackets a beanies, to match you.

After Nines had teased you for walking like a penguin with how many jackets and snow pants Conner had fastened you up with, you guys were ready to go. As you were waddling through the door, you realized embarrassingly late that you didn't have a sled. You expressed this concern to the boys and Conner quickly answered

"We can always go to the store to get one, and when I had done an internet search on snowman making I learned that a carrot is needed to complete the look. We can get more decorations for them also."

You gave him a big dopey grin, loving the thought that Conner had literally done research on how to make snowmen. Soon you were out the door and into Conner's car.

He had an awesome sleek black one, that you named the Bat Mobile. It was full of cool gadgets and was super safe (he picked it out because of its specifically because of that). You were just happy that you got to play your music.

You got in the passenger seat, having yelled out "shot gun" upon seeing the car parked in the apartments lower level garage. Nines grumbled but followed the rules and sat in the back like a good sport. You sent him an apologetic glance after sitting in your seat, but he returned it with a glare so you stuck your tongue out at him in retaliation. He then proceeded to roll his eyes half heartedly and chuckle.

You turned back around and put on your favorite song. Conner set the car to auto drive to the nearest winter store. He gently leaned back in his seat and moved his head slightly to watch you hum along to the song and move your shoulders in tune with the music. You didn't see it, to focused on the window and snowy world outside, but Nines saw. He smirked and started a secret conversation with him, LED blinking

"You're grinning like and idiot right now." Conner turned around to frown at him.

"You would be to, she looks so adorable dancing to her music. I do have to say, her music taste is more delightful than Hanks". Nines rolled his eyes and looked over to see you putting your hands in the air for a mock imitation of singing. He chuckled and stared at you a bit before basically hearing Conner smiling smugly at him.

"See?" He raised his eyebrows in a questioning glance.

"I understand now" Nines admitted, leaning back in his seat. He realized he had moved forward a bit to look at you. A slight smile on his face, he crossed his arms. Conner looked back to the road ahead of him and realized they were close.

You guys pulled in just as your song finished. You had really gotten into the song for a second, you probably looked silly. You noticed the seat next to you was empty and then remembered, Conner always rushed out the door so he could hold yours open.

Like a GENTLEMAN.

You giggled when he opened the door and you got out with a little bow and thanked him. He blushed blue as his LED stuttered amber and you kissed his cheek, making everything worse for his poor systems. He rushed to say something, but you were already on your way to the store with Nines at your side. He locked up the car, smile on his face and hurried after you guys.

After securing the sled and some snowman decorations, you all got back in the car. You volunteered to be in the back since Nines had been so nice to let you in the front last time. He said that it wasn't necessary, but you were insistent. So he relented.

The store wasn't far from the park, and you all got out of the car once again. As you got out, you basically took 3 steps before falling backwards into the snow. You started making a snow angel when Conner and Nines, holding your supplies, looked down on you from above with amusement on their features.

You chuckled and Conner held out a hand to help got you up, and you graciously took it. You looked out at the park, filled with suprisingly few people and whispered under your breath

"Let the games beign"

(a little later)

"Conner I cant do it! He's too fast!"

"Yes you can! Just hide behind that tree on your way to the flag and he should miss you."

A faint voice across the field yelled out

"I can hear you guys. I was made with advanced hearing."

Conner and you shared an eye roll, and then he kissed your temple good luck.

Currently, you were in a fierce capture the flag meets snowball fight battle against Nines. You and Conner teamed up because Nines was basically a 5 man team. He told you he would try his best to go easy on you, but you had told him not to. You remembered that time fondly. You had been so confident.

"Y/N he's coming out of his fort! Go Go!"

You let out a battle cry and ran across the wooded part of the park and heard Nines foot steps thundering behind you. You felt something whizz past your face, not hitting you but sending a threatening point. You wheezed a laugh out and ducked behind a tree. You could hear Nines slow and walk towards the tree you were hiding behind. He was just teasing you now. This was the feared deviant hunter, one of the most advanced androids, a more advanced model than Conner himself. But....

He had fallen into your trap. Because waiting around another tree was none other than Hank himself.

He came over to the park on his lunch break and brought Sumo, and he was happy that it had snowed so much so he wanted to enjoy it. It had been a tough day of teaching a new recruit, so when Conner said you guys were at the park having a snowball fight he was so there. Hank didn't want to miss the opportunity to pummel Nines in the face with a snowball.

Just when Nines started creeping around and grabbed your arm, you screamed

"HANK NOW" Nines jumped around, trying to evade this new attack, but it was to late. He got smacked in the face by 3 snowballs. 1 from Hank, who was currently laughing his head off, and 2 from Conner who had also snuck up behind Nines while you were hiding.

Nines groaned in frustration and you bounced out of his grip to run over and capture the flag from his fort. You bolted over to Hank and Conner, shooting your arms up into the air in triumph, holding the prized flag. Conner stood and watched you while grinning and Hank shot middle fingers to the sky, completing his task of hitting Nines in the face. A totally Hank thing.

Nines came and patted you on the back, and you gave him a quick peck on the cheek for being a good sport. He blushed a teeny, tiny amount and looked away with his LED blinking amber and brows furrowed.

Hank had to go back to work, but he left Sumo with you guys. Your boys decided they wanted to go sledding, so you found a great hill in the park.

"Okay so tuck your legs in, and keep them in the vehicle at all times." you were currently instructing Nines how to sit in the sled, you were in the front and he was behind you. Conner stood with Sumo, waiting his turn. Nines wrapped his arms and legs around you, with a surprising amount of protectiveness and strength, and you shivered when he breathed down your neck. He chuckled and saw the opportunity to catch you by surprise. He unwrapped his arms from around you and used them to suddenly push the sled down the hill.

You screamed in shock and clawed at the arms that had re-wrapped around you. He "offed" out in surprise as you guys hit some rocks hidden in the snow. You shrieked out in excitement as you spun the rest of the way down the hill and sled to a stop. You heard laughing and barking from far away while Nines wrapped his arms around you again and kissed you hair. You sunk into his strong front and sighed.

Next was Conner's turn. And he was ready.

You got in the same position you were in with Nines and snuggled in. Conner waited until you were ready to push you guys off, a curtesy a CERTAIN SOMEONE had not shown. As you were speeding down the hill, some barking could be heard behind you. You shifted to turn in Conner's grip, which caused him to turn also, and saw Sumo was chasing the sled. You and Conner laughed in delight, watching the dog bark furiously and get closer to the sled. You both were so busy looking at Sumo that you didn't see where you were going. You realized way to late, that you guys were heading

RIGHT for a tree.

"TREEE" you yelled and Conner quickly jumped into action to untuck his legs and hit the breaks. You skid to a stop just as the nose of your sled kissed the oak. You heard cackling from up the hill and felt something wet on your cheek. Sumo was licking your face. Conner chuckled and pet the dog, asking if you were okay. You leaned into him and delivered a thumbs up into his face. Which made him laugh harder.

The last thing to do was make snowmen. But what Nines and Conner didn't know, was you were making snow androids.

You were making them.

You guys went you separate ways so you all could surprise each other with your creations. You found a secluded spot in the woods and quickly got to work.

After a couple minutes, you were getting tired from rolling the snow. But you needed to push on. The Snowdroids needed to be perfect.

Finally, after 20 minutes, they were complete. Conner's was slightly shorter, having buttons and a carrot nose with a blue jellybeans LED. ( You wanted a snack earlier and decided to use every material on hand for making snowmen)

Nines was taller, he had 2 sets of buttons and a regular carrot nose. But you had added furrowed branch brows on him. Then you added the blue jellybeans final touch.

You were extremely proud of yourself. Your snowdroids looked awesome. You were patting yourself on the back for your work when 2 sets footprints crunching the snow graced your ears.

You turned and saw Nines and Conner approaching with sumo, and staring at your snowdroids.

"Y/n.." Conner started, walking to his and admiring it.

"I do not look this angry all the time" Was Nines response, but he was smirking looking at his. You and Conner turned at the same time to say a quick "yes you do" and he huffed.

"Dear this is a perfect, accurate representation of my likeness" Conner took your gloved hand in his and kissed your head. You felt yourself go flush and Nines came to do the same. They then took mental pictures, while you took an actual pictures, and you 3 (and sumo) started off to see Conner and Nines creation.

On the way they revealed that they had teamed up to create you. You expressed how cute that was and finally caught a glimpse of it.

It looked exactly like you, it was adorable. Stick hair, buttons, extra details, with a carrot noise.

You laughed in amazement "You guys this looks so good!" You immediately started taking pictures and doing poses with it while Nines and Conner shared a chuckle.

Eventually you started to get really cold, and it was late, so Conner and Nines took you to your guys' shared home. Not before making a pitstop to drop Sumo of to Hank.

Your home looked so cozy, so much in fact, that you didn't even bother taking off your gear and threw yourself, face first, on the ground next to a heater. You heard 2 muffled voices talking and felt your boots being taken of by gentle hands. You rolled over to look at Conner and smiled at him. He lazily returned it and unzipped your jacket while Nines came into your vision holding one of the comfiest looking blankets ever, You got out of your wet clothes and were left in your underwear, so Conner gave you some clothes. A mix of his and Nines clothes actually. You quickly put on Conner's sweatpants, and Nines sweater. You three all got on the couch and the boys turned their body heat up. The surrounded you and wrapped you up snuggly in their arms.

You fell asleep hearing them talking, the sound of the dishwasher going, a heaters fan whirring, and watching snow come down outside.

It was an awesome snow day.

And down in the darkness of night were three snowman. One looked like it had been completely picked up and moved so it could be with the other three, and they were all holding hands.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Okay so I failed at making it short.

SORRY for plot holes or spelling errors.

THANKS FOR READING

edit edit: DUDE I COMPLETLY FORGOT ABOUT THE FLAG IN THE CAPTURE THE FLAG PART i cannot

[she-karev]

Breakdown (Andrew DeLuca x Alex Karev’s Sister PTSD Imagine)

Age Rating: 18+

Chapters: One of Two

Fandom: Grey’s Anatomy

Ship: Andrew DeLuca x Amber Karev (Alex Karev’s Sister)

Canon Episode: Season 17 Episode 10

TRIGGER WARNING: Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Flashback, Nightmare, Depression

Mental Health Resources: https://www.ptsd.va.gov/, https://adaa.org/understanding-anxiety/posttraumatic-stress-disorder-ptsd/resources, https://www.nami.org/, https://www.aacap.org/, https://www.dbsalliance.org/, https://afsp.org/

AN: Hey guys so I felt angsty and wanted to showcase doctors that suffered from PTSD during the pandemic. PTSD from this trauma is very real and it makes it clear that healthcare workers deserved better back then. So I wanted to show that with my main character, Amber Karev, who realistically would crumble at the pandemic and her relationship problems as well as her childhood trauma. I want to show that asking for help is nothing to be ashamed of, it’s okay not to be okay.

Summary: Amber has nightmares and flashbacks from being overwhelmed by the pandemic with her struggles being noted by her best friend, Jackson Avery, and her boyfriend, Andrew DeLuca, who try to help her. She makes a mistake that almost harmed a patient causing Jackson to step in and help. Later he tells her that she is slipping at work and tries to encourage her to get help but Amber refuses citing that she will get over it.

Words: 4724

“Push one of Epi!” Amber feels the ribs under her hands break as she applies CPR to her dying covid patient who is crashing. The exertion is making the resident breathe hard under her mask that feels hot against her mouth with the goggles around her eyes tight enough to leave bruises. Amber ignores her own feelings of being suffocated to focus on saving the elderly woman under her care.

“Epi is in.” Amber sees the monitor is still flatlining despite combined Epi and CPR. The sound is deafening to her as she has heard it for the last two months from her time in the covid ward. It is a ringing in her ears that is a constant reminder of the death and suffering that is spreading worldwide.

She looks back down at the patient who changed before her eyes. Instead of an old woman under her fist it is her oldest brother, Alex. The sight makes her want to stop but applying CPR is integrated in her and is instinct to never stop. She closes her eyes to shake the image away while pressing down his chest with all her might.

Amber opens her eyes to find Jackson Avery on the bed instead. The sound of the monitor flatline raises Amber’s heartrate as her breathing begins to thin feeling like the air is not getting in her lungs. Every blink she takes the person on the bed shifts to Jo, and then April, and then Carina and finally Andrew DeLuca who is still lying there no matter how much she blinks or closes her eyes.

Instead of the warm and lively man that she loves she sees a pale imitation that is cold to the touch. Amber stops breathing as she registers this before her hands stop compressions. She wants to keep going, make sure he’s alive but her shock is making her freeze in place.

It is like she is dying in that room along with Andrew except unlike him, her heart is beating in her chest like a jackrabbit. The pain in her chest feels like her heart is trying to beat out of her body. Normally she would react to this by clutching her chest by right now except her limbs feel like their made of concrete.

The only sound that is heard in this dimming patient room is the monitor flatlining. Amber can’t discern anything else except the flatline that starts to ring in her ears. She stands there frozen with the nurse not even lifting a finger to help Andrew who is dying in front of their eyes. Instead the nurse speaks to Amber in a neutral tone. The words from the nurse are muffled to Amber due to the ringing in her ears. However she can discern what the nurse is saying, even muffled these are words she has heard so many times it is every doctors unofficial mantra.

“Time of death…”

May 18th, 2020

Amber wakes up with a gasp desperate to breathe. Instead of the hospital she is in bed with Andrew beside her sleeping. She looks at him relieved to hear his light snoring that indicates it was a nightmare. Her heart is still beating fast, she rubs her own chest desperate for relief. Amber inhales deeply and exhales slowly until her chest soothes the constrictions that followed her from her dream.

Once her heart rate decreases to normal limits, Amber notices her shirt sticking to her chest and back. She swipes her forehead and feels a layer of sweat that is covering her entire body. Amber groans at this disgusting fluid before checking her phone to find that she only slept for three hours. After her back-to-back shifts yesterday, she tried to fall asleep but found it difficult to keep her eyes closed. Instead, she spent two hours tossing and turning until she finally felt tired.

Now she is fully awake again in the middle of the night because of another nightmare. For the past few weeks she has been plagued with dreams of being in the covid ward and losing a patient. This, however, was the first time her patients were her loved ones and it’s what made her decide that sleep will only make things worse, and she needs to keep busy, so her boyfriend doesn’t get concerned once again and watch her like she’s going to break like glass.

Ever since Andrew was discharged and she moved back into his apartment, Amber has tried her best to take care of him while he’s recovering. She helps him with wound care, PT, cook’s meals for him and makes sure he remembers to take his medication. All of this was relatively easy except for when she sleeps in the same bed as him.

The nightmares started the night she came home, and it’s gotten worse since. She has thrown herself into work and Andrew’s post op care to appear stable and active. However, he was quick to figure this out two weeks ago when a dream of her brother attacking her during his psychotic episode made her wake up screaming and he held her in his arms while she cried.

Every night since he begs her to go to sleep with the help of melatonin. Amber tries to lay by his side and sleep peacefully but the most she gets is four hours before a nightmare wakes her up in a pit of sweat and anxiety. Even when Andrew is lying down and holding her Amber does math in her head to stay awake until his breaths evened out and she could sit up without waking him.

Amber sighs at this lack of sleep but knows she’s not gonna go back down so she opts to go for a run before heading into work. She finds running in the park to be relaxing as it’s the one place besides home she can breathe without a mask. Amber grabs her workout clothes from the drawers and quickly changes inside the bathroom before exiting to put on her shoes.

The sound of the bathroom door closing wakes up Andrew in bed. He groans tiredly before sitting up waking up his dog Jazz as well who slept in bed with them again. Amber is in her workout clothes putting her hair up in a ponytail before sitting on the couch to put her running shoes on.

“Good morning.”

Amber responds numbly without looking up, “Morning, sorry to wake you I wanted to go out for a run before work.”

Andrew turns on his phone at his bedside table, “It’s 3:30 in the morning your shift doesn’t start for another 4 hours.”

“So?” Amber asks snappishly, “The hospital is too overrun, they need all the help they can get so I’m going in early.”

Andrew sighs at this rubbing his eyes, “You finished a double shift 6 hours ago, Did you have another nightmare?”

“God not this again.” Amber remarks annoyed, “Yes I slept, I had a great dream last night where my boyfriend wasn’t nagging me about my sleeping schedule any other questions or do you want to attach me to a lie detector test too?”

DeLuca sighs at this insult but keeps calm, “Amber I am not the bad guy here I am just trying to help that’s all. I know you’ve been through a lot and you work to numb the pain and I get that. I get it but there’s a limit to how many hours you pull before exhaustion gets to you even in the middle of a pandemic.”

Amber scoffs dismissively, “You know why don’t you tell that to the thousands of people that are dying in our hospital each day? Tell them a resident can’t work to save lives because she would rather lay back in bed and keep her boyfriend company, I’m sure they would understand.”

Andrew’s face falls at that but Amber is unmoved walking to the door, “I’ll see you at work.” The door slams closed with that statement causing Andrew to groan and collapse on the bed in frustration.

Four Hours Later

“MVC and abdominal pain coming in 2 minutes out.” Jackson announces at the ambulance bay where Amber is already gowned up and waiting, “I can page Parker if you want to nod off and drink this very expensive coffee I got you.”

Avery is carrying a cup of coffee that he hands out to Amber who rolls her eyes. She knows that her best friend is taking shifts when she does because he’s looking after her. Amber is annoyed at this overprotectiveness that has increased after Amber came back to work following Andrew’s attack. She finds people babysitting her to be insulting and degrading but takes the coffee as the caffeine calls to her.

“You’re lucky I like caffeine.” She sips the coffee that makes her gag, “What is that?”

“Vanilla brown sugar latte, it’s my favorite, it’s sweet.”

“It’s disgusting.” Amber throws the coffee away hurting Jackson, “How do you have a six-pack drinking that swill? And I don’t need to sleep I’m great so you can back off and go back to your pretty little plastics floor where nothing bad ever happens.”

“Wow and here I was hoping a good latte would make you less cranky.” Jackson teases before noticing his friend closing her eyes for a moment before opening them again and shaking her tired head causing him to worry, “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I know what you’re doing.” Jackson raises an eyebrow confused, “You’re mothering me or babying me and it’s pissing me off.”

Jackson is startled by this outburst, “What are you talking about?”

“You’re a world class surgeon and you’re coincidentally working at the pit when I am, not to mention the covid ward, the check in desk, the testing tent, this is stalking.”

“Amber despite what your ego is telling you my entire world does not revolve around you.” Jackson states sternly, “Every world class surgeon in this building is going where they’re needed because specialties and surgeries are on pause. It’s not stalking it’s having our wires crossed, now are you gonna accuse me of boiling your bunny or are we gonna save lives?”

Amber turns to the ambulance coming in and rushes over with Jackson where the paramedics open the back door. There is a heavy-set black man on the gurney groaning in pain.

“What do we got?” Jackson asks the paramedic who explains.

“Paul Wilkins, 45-year-old male with new onset right side abdominal pain.” Amber helps Jackson wheel him inside the building, “No meds, no past medical history, allergic to Zofran.”

“Okay you got this Karev?” Jackson asks Amber.

“I’ll run tests and give him Phenergan for the nausea.”

Jackson pulls back, “Okay I’ll take the MVC page me if you-”

“I’m fine Dr. Avery.” Amber proclaims causing him to leave her with the patient and paramedic “Paul your our first patient today so you get the luxury package, bed 1.”

She and the paramedic lift the groaning patient on the bed before Vic Hughes and Travis Montgomery come in uniform wheeling a black woman who is on a gurney. Amber groans but approaches the firefighters ready to take in the new patient.

“What do we got?”

“Irene Davis, 35, complains of severe abdominal pain.” Vic outlines, “She has a history of MS and an Rx for steroids.”

“Any numbness or tremors on scene?”

“No, she didn’t show symptoms beyond the abdomen.” Travis answers, “Although she was complaining the whole ride over and insisted on not going to a hospital.”

“Because that worked out so well for my sister.” Irene bitterly states, “Came in for a hysterectomy and went out with terminal cancer.”

“I’m so sorry Irene but we need to check you out and make sure there’s nothing serious.” Amber points to a room, “Get her to trauma 1 and I’ll page general for a consult, is there anyone we can call for you? Family or friends?”

Irene chuckles, “That won’t be necessary, my brother-in-law works here, and he’ll come marching in when he gets whiff that I’m here.”

“That’s good.”

“You say that, but you’ve never met my brother.”

Amber chuckles lightly, “I have two brothers, so I share the feeling trust me. Okay get her inside and a doctor will be with you shortly.” The firefighters take Irene to trauma 1 leaving Amber to go to the station to page Jo. She is about to return to her patients when a familiar song stops her in place.

Avril Lavigne’s Complicated plays from the nurse’s phone while she is charting. Amber’s feet stop moving, they feel like cinderblocks stopping her in place with an unblinking catatonic face. When this song is recognized by Amber the next sound she hears is ringing in her ears and her surroundings are incoherent to her as her mind takes her to the moment she first listened to this song.

2002

A nine-year-old Amber Karev is sitting at the table of her house working on her homework. While she is writing her English paper, her CD player is attached to her headphones that she is wearing. The music blaring in her ears is Complicated by Avril Lavigne.

She is peacefully doing her schoolwork while her brother Alex is at college and her other brother Aaron is hanging out with his friends. A loud clank startles her causing her to remove her headphones and put them around the back of her neck.

“Why are you here?!” Amber can discern is as Helen having another episode making the young girl’s fear skyrocket, “Get out! Get out or I’ll kill you, I swear to God, I’ll kill you!”

The little girl quickly grabs the home phone before going inside a closet out of view from her frantic mother who keeps tearing the house apart. She crouches in a dark corner in the back of the small space before dialing Aaron’s number.

While she does this Helen grabs the pans and throws them around screaming nonsense just five feet from Amber who hopes her schizophrenic mother doesn’t open the door and try to kill her again. The phone against her ear is answered with her teenage brother on the other end.

“Hey kid what’s up?” Amber is too afraid to make a sound and give herself away so she holds the phone out to the door that is a weak barrier for their mothers frantic actions.

Helen is throwing cups out of the shelves, “Come out here now! Come out here so I can kill you!”

Amber holds the phone to her ear as her brother responds calmly but with a veil of panic, “All right I’m leaving right now, just stay in there, don’t open the door, and don’t make a sound. I’ll be there as soon as I can I promise.”

Her brother hangs up leaving Amber all alone in the closet where she follows his instructions and keeps quiet like her life depends on it. Even through the screaming and glass breaking the little Karev keeps herself curled up inside the closet while her life is in danger from the person who is supposed to protect it.

Present

“Amber.”

The resident snaps out of her flashback at the call of her name and turns to find it coming from Jackson who is tending to Paul Wilkins instead of her. He doesn’t look bothered however he looks worried for Amber. For a solid minute he saw her standing by the station frozen looking on like a statue. He called her out twice until she finally responded to his relief but his concern for her escalates after this catatonic episode.

Amber approaches them normal trying to ignore her flashback, “Did general come by?”

“Not yet. Trauma took my MVC to the OR so I’m stepping in.” Jackson answers before doing a physical test on the abdomen causing the patient to groan in pain, “I know it hurts but I’m almost done. We’re gonna do a CBC and kidney panel to see what the source is, it’s most likely anemia which is very treatable don’t worry. Karev, can you do the workup while I get a CT for bed 5? And make him more comfortable while the labs are running?”

“I got it thanks.” Jackson leaves her with a nurse. She quickly does the blood draw and helps him to the restroom where he pees in a cup for her. Amber hands the bag to an intern to hand to the labs. She yawns as her exhaustion starts to creep up on her but she persists and turns to the nurse while Paul is too busy curled up in bed holding his stomach that makes him groan in pain.

“Okay Taylor let’s give Mr. Wilkins something for the nausea while his blood work is being done.” She briefly closes her eyes while giving orders, “Give him 4 mg of Zofran and I’ll be back once the results are in. Page me if anything changes thanks.”

Amber walks away groaning tiredly as she heads to the trauma room to check on Irene. She is inside the hall when a realization stops her in place. Amber remembers the paramedic telling them that Mr. Wilkins is allergic to Zofran…the same medicine that she just prescribed for his nausea. Amber gasps at this before running out and bursting the doors open back to the pit. The PPE she is wearing doesn’t stop her from running at full speed back to bed 1 where the nurse is about to insert something into Paul Wilkins IV.

“Stop!” Taylor stops in place looking up at the panicking resident, “Taylor are you giving Mr. Wilkins-”

“Phenergan?” Amber turns to Jackson who stands six feet behind her looking at the nurse and patient calmly, “I told nurse Taylor we were out of Zofran and to use Phenergan instead. That’s what you were gonna say right? Before I came over.”

Amber pauses at that explanation before looking at Paul who is responding to the medication. She knows Jackson was with her when the paramedics told them about Paul’s allergy and as a result saved her from making a mistake that could have killed the patient. Amber swallows the lump in her throat before nodding and following his lead.

“Right, I was gonna say that.”

“…Right.” Jackson says coldly with a stern face that Amber discerns as disappointment. It makes her guilt grow and sees she’s not gonna get away Scot free from her friend. Amber leaves for her previous destination. Jackson sighs as he watches her walk away with his disappointment shifting to worry.

Later

Jackson is outside the ambulance bay leaning back against the building with his mask off breathing in the air he and everyone else has taken for granted. Normally it would be a hard day working in a pandemic that would warrant his brooding but now it’s added by his friends declining mental state.

Ever since Amber came back to work after Andrew’s attack, Jackson noticed that she was snapping at coworkers more, working at the covid ward beyond the limits for residents, easily startled by random events and dragging her feet at work that affects her performance. He keeps his distance because he was certain she was just reacting like a doctor working during covid. But after Paul Wilkins he knows now it’s more than that, he knows now that Amber is teetering at the edge and needs to be pulled back before she falls.

“Hey.” Amber appears six feet in front of him with her mask off and a remorseful expression.

“Hey.” Jackson keeps a blank face knowing he needs to be upfront with Amber and help her when she’s not helping herself, “We need to talk.”

Amber inhales looking down in shame, “I know I figured we would after what happened with Mr. Wilkins, what I did with Mr. Wilkins that was…that was unacceptable. I was there when the paramedics told me he was allergic to Zofran, and I prescribed it anyway. I came back from a double shift last night and I haven’t gotten sleep since. I’m tired and my mind is in a fog but that is no excuse I know that.” Jackson sighs at this with a stern look that effects Amber, “Are you angry?”

“I’m not angry.” Jackson says pulling himself off the wall to stand up right in front of Amber with arms crossed at his chest, “Truly I’m not, I was but now I’m worried about you.”

“And I appreciate that, and I so appreciate what you did for me this morning. You came through huge for me and if you hadn’t…” Amber’s face darkens at that scenario running through her head, “I would never have forgiven myself.”

“I know that.” Jackson says with a frown, “Why do you think I was keeping an eye on you all day?”

“Well lucky me that you decided to baby me today.” Amber half teases that Jackson doesn’t find amusing causing her to become serious again, “Jackson, you know me, you know I’m not that kind of doctor. I swear this is the first and last time something like this happens from me.”

“It’s not.” Jackson states making Amber look confused, “It’s not the first time this has happened. The reason you don’t know this is because I have been watching you closely and cleaning up your messes.”

Amber is taken back by this new information. For so long she has prided herself on her analytical skills and her ability to double-check her work. So, to hear her boss tell her that she has unknown skeletons in her closet makes her pause for a moment before prying for elaboration.

“What? What are you talking about?”

Jackson almost wants to stop; he almost wants to spare his friend the pain of finding out how she looks to others. But he knows he can’t watch her 24/7 and next time there won’t be an attending to stop her from making a fatal error like with Mr. Wilkins.

“Ever since DeLuca was discharged you haven’t been 100 percent at work.” Amber furrows her eyebrows in confusion, “You look exhausted, you’re dragging your feet. I chalked it up to exhaustion and taking care of DeLuca at home and burn out but then you started slipping at work.”

Amber scoffs at that, “When have I ever made mistakes like today? Tell me.”

“You want the list? I correct your EMR’s, put patient notes on the right charts, order rapid tests when you doze off.”

“Okay that’s just paperwork.” Amber defends herself, “That is not malpractice that’s normal. I mean you can’t tell me you didn’t make mistakes like that when you were a resident, and you weren’t in a pandemic then. I screw up some red tape once or twice big deal.”

“It happens all the time.” Jackson informs her in a low voice, so they don’t attract attention, “And it’s been getting worse. You prescribed Zofran you forgot a patient was allergic to after you had an episode and stared off into space for a minute. It was like your brain was somewhere else, like you were caught in a flashback.” Amber pales at that reminder causing Jackson to ask cautiously, “What did you see before you prescribed Mr. Wilkins the Zofran?”

Amber shakes her head not wanting to be pulled back into that dark hole, “I’m tired that’s it; it comes with the job I’ll get over it I always do.”

“Amber…” Jackson sighs gathering the courage to make his point to his friend looking at her in sympathy, “I think you need help; more help that any of us realize and I’m sorry for not seeing that until now, but I have and I’m here to tell you…you’re not okay.”

Amber shakes her head at that suggestion immediately as her face shifts to frustration, “I already have a live-in boyfriend pointing out all of my flaws I don’t need you doing it too.”

“Amber-”

“And you know what I am a big girl Jackson I don’t need an overpaid babysitter attached to my hip.” Amber snaps at Jackson who rubs his eyes as he knew this wasn’t gonna go smoothly, “I can take care of myself I have done it my whole life. I’m not some side piece for you to control like April and Maggie, my entire life doesn’t depend on your hero complex and another thing-”

“If I didn’t give half as much crap about you and babysit you a patient would be dead right now because your too exhausted to remember important medical information.” Jackson reminds her in a low harsh tone accompanied by a furious glare that appeared when Amber insulted April. This dark progression stops Amber’s rant, and she looks at her friend silently as he continues.

“I am trying to save you before you self-sabotage yourself until you get your license taken away. You and I both saw it with Jo when she came to work drunk and again with DeLuca when he became manic. It’s happening again only this time you’re the one who is getting worse, and I can’t stand by and watch you deny what is right in front of you and kill patients as a result. You would do the same for me and don’t even try to deny it.”

Amber is frozen by this for a moment before Jackson rubs his jaw and his fury shifts to concern and empathy, “I’m being your friend right now, I am helping you because you need it. You helped me when my mom was sick and when I was going through a question in faith and the universe. You were my ear and my shoulder to lean on so I am telling you I will return the favor. This pain you’re feeling you can’t keep it bottled up forever because eventually it’s gonna blow up and you won’t come back from it. I just…I just want you to tell me what you’re feeling so I can help you, please talk to me.”

Amber looks taken back by this heartwarming confession. Her best friend had been there for her time and time again whether it’s relationship or professional problems. Even when she was mad at him for leaving unexpectedly, she knew he would be in her corner. And she knows he wants to hear her honest response to his offer.

Amber inhales deeply taking a moment to gather her thoughts, “I feel…I feel off.”  

Jackson looks at her in sympathy over this morose statement as she continues, “One minute I feel like there’s no hope left, no love, no happiness just…nothing. And then the next minute I feel like screaming at the world and never stopping. Even when my boyfriend makes me a gourmet dinner it’s like ash in my mouth. I get mad at him for every little thing, it’s like I live on anger because there’s no hope left. It-It’s like I hate everything and everyone until I hit a wall, and I don’t feel hate or anything at all. I can’t sleep at night because I always have nightmares that feel so real I am afraid I’ll never wake up. It feels like…it feels like all of the worst feelings of everyone in the world has somehow entered my body and I can’t get it out.”

Jackson sighs at this feeling sad for his friend who has so much more turmoil than he even realized. It’s taking everything in him not to break protocol and hug her. She looks broken and small like a lost child and for the first time he can see her walls breaking down and her true feelings coming out.

Amber inhales to regain her composure and barriers, “But I’ll get over it and deal with it my own way that includes working.”

Jackson frowns at this while Amber puts her mask on, “I gotta get back in there, excuse me.”

Amber goes back inside without objection from her friend who looks grim at this confession. He knew she was in rough shape but not to this extent. He wants to help but he doesn’t know how to help with this. Instead, he stands there feeling just as hopeless as Amber just told him she feels.

Next Chapter Here

[marsi-is-depressed]

Study stress

Soft!Amber Sweet x fem!reader

You and Amber had only been dating for a week when she visited your home for the first time. You lived mostly on your own, with your parents working five to six days a week at Geneco, leaving you at home alone the entire time. It was a tiny, one-story home with two bedrooms.

But Amber enjoyed it. Her residence was not a house; it was a very large structure with the words Geneco on it. Her father wasn't around much, constantly sitting in the same chair in his office, watching and waiting for the next graverobber to get caught.

It was finals week at college, so you sat down and studied all day every day. Amber Sweet didn't get it; she avoided college and waited for her father to depart from the company so she could take over. She went with the flow and continued to take Zydrate, adding to her list of surgeries and her ever-changing appearance. Which was something you didn't get.

When she came over, you were studying for your biology final, which prompted you to have several mental meltdowns. It was your worst class, and the final could make or break your grade.

Your eyes were red and swollen, and your nose had backed up. You had been sobbing out of irritation and fury. You were wrapping up an anatomy problem when you heard someone knocking on your bedroom door.

You turned over and saw Amber standing there with a vial of Zydrate and two cups of coffee.

"Look what I-" she began, still wearing her Zydrate pickup disguise. When she realised what she was seeing, she raised her brow.

You were covered in a black and furry blanket. You wore sweatpants and one of her silk robes. Your hair was arranged in a bun on top of your head. Your left foot was in the chair, and your knee was resting on your chest. It was clear you'd been sobbing.

"Babe, are you okay?" She enquired, a little high on zydrate.

"No." Your speech sounded nasally, and you sniffled.

"What's wrong?"

"This is my biology final. I'm going to flunk it, and then I'll fail the course." A sob escaped your lips.

She cautiously stepped over, stumbling a little on the way and squatted next to you.  She grabbed the pencil from your fingers and set it down, shutting your book with your paper inside.

"What are you doing?" you questioned.

"You deserve a break."

"No, I can't. It's late, and my test is at eight in the morning."

"Sh. "Come here. She rose up and grabbed your hands, dragging you to your feet. "Tell me what you need." She spoke softly, slurring, but rapidly recovered.

"What is it?"

"Please tell me what you need. Anything. "Food, medication, music, whatever." She cut you off as you were saying, "I need to study." "Something other than studying." You exhaled.

You understood just what you needed: a hug. You simply wanted someone to embrace you and allow you to weep, but you didn't know how to ask for it.

Your capacity to beg for affection was hampered by the lack of your parents' presence to provide you with hugs and comfort. Amber learnt about this a week after you two met.

You had a huge exam coming up in your chemistry class, and she offered to hug you, which you declined, perplexed by how nice she was being. She attempted hugging you many more times, but each time you became more upset, so she rolled her eyes and ultimately gave up.

"Come on, Babe. "I know you need something." She smirked as she stated this.

"I need to study."

"No. There will be no more studying for now. You are taking a break. Then you may study until your heart's content. "I just..." "I hate seeing you upset and stressed."

You grumbled in confusion but were pleased to see her be kind to you. "I know what I need, but it makes me uncomfortable."

"If it helps you feel better, let me know. "You know I'm not going to judge."

You nodded. "I think I just need… a hug."

"Is that it? "Just a hug?" You nodded. She opened his arms and drew you within. You did not hug back at first. You were not used to having someone's arms around you. But the longer she embraced you, the more comfortable it seemed. the more natural it felt.

You lifted your arms and tucked them beneath her breasts. You buried your face into her chest, and another uncontrolled sob filled the room.

"Sh, it's okay," she said. "I'm here, and I won't leave until you ask me to, okay?"

"Okay," you whispered.

“You wanna lay down?” You nodded. “Alright. First, let me do something.” Amber pulled the hair tie out of your hair and let your hair fall to your shoulders, smiling. “Beautiful,” she purred, feeling her breath reach your ears. You smiled. “There’s that smile.”

She led you to your bed and laid next you, wrapping her arms around you and bringing you into her neck, one arm over your shoulder and the other softly combing through your brown hair.

"Thank you," you responded.

"Absolutely. "Do you think I'm going to let my girlfriend struggle in silence?"

You smiled. "What a softy."

You gazed up at her, and she kissed your forehead. "I wish we could just stay like this all night."

"We could."

"I have to study, Amber."

"Yes, I understand. But we are doing this after your final. You're already much more calm. "I can tell."

"You're not wrong."

"I'm never wrong." She triumphantly stated, smirking.

"Not wrong about that, either."

It wasn't long until Amber fell asleep. You listened to her slumber and watched her chest rise and fall for a few minutes before carefully removing yourself from her arms and returning to your workstation to resume working on your study guide.

Having Amber there made it less tense and more relaxed, and you finished pretty quickly with her there.

[mlp410nightcore]

Hi Everyone!! Here is a brand new next gen for my Blossom Love AU. Hurricane Wave's parents are Shockwave and Suri Polomare. Suri has tried and tried again and again to get back into the fashion scene but has been met with failure at every turn. She later on bumps into Shockwave during a decepticon mission and thinks about a devious plan to gain publicity by dating a decepticon. But sadly, their relationship didn't go over well as Suri treated Shockwave as her little "errand boy" and never showed any romantic feelings towards Shockwave at all, which caused many fights to ensue between Suri and Shockwave as he wanted a healthy relationship, not wanting to be Suri's little "errand boy". Later on, Suri found out she was pregnant with Shockwave's son. At first, she didn't want to have the baby but then thought about forcing her boy to become a social media star and with her son being famous, she can then get back on the fashion radar, so she tells Shockwave that she wants to have the baby much to Shockwave's surprise but he was happy that she wanted to have his son. Shockwave soon found out about Suri's little plot for his son during a business call Suri had just a month before Hurricane Wave was born and told Suri that he promised when his son was born that he was going to do everything in his power to not have her in his son's life. As soon as Hurricane Wave was born, Shockwave went straight to court and due to the overwhelming amounts of debt that Suri had put herself in, Shockwave has gained full custody for Hurricane Wave as the court saw Suri as unfit to take care of her son. Suri, of course, didn't care and never even tried to keep in contact with Shockwave and her son and was never heard from again since. Shockwave, on the other hand, has been an exceptional father to his boy and tries his hardest to support and care for his son no matter what in a healthy and loving environment. Hurricane Wave is super sweet but has to keep that part about himself under wraps in order to keep the villainous image of the decepticons in tact. He's also super smart and is very skilled in hacking and technology repair. Hurricane Wave has also made his own successful clothing line in secret and is quite popular amongst the Canterlot Elites. Shockwave is super supportive of his son and has never been prouder of him as well. Hurricane Wave also has a crush on Amber Terror (Starscream and Mane-iac's daughter) and wants to treat her with the love and respect that she deserves as Electric Cyclone (Megatron and Lord Tirek's son) has been abusive towards Amber both physically and mentally even in front of all the decepticons, but much to his dismay, this only made the decepticons turn on him as they see Amber Terror as a better leader than him despite Electric Cyclone being Megatron's son. So Amber Terror and Electric Cyclone broke up and fought for dominance with Amber Terror pursuing victory without even a scratch. She later became the new leader of the decepticons and started a new and healthy relationship with Hurricane Wave, but of course, Electric Cyclone didn't care and has been trying to plan to get his position back ever since with not much luck on his side. Credit goes to Selenaede for the base I used and to Lauren Faust, Toei Animation and Hasbro for creating Transformers and My Little Pony:Friendship Is Magic as well as the characters Megatron, Lord Tirek, Starscream, Mane-iac, Suri Polomare and Shockwave as well as The Decepticons and The Canterlot Elites as well. I only take credit for my next gens, art, ships, stories and the Blossom Love AU. I hope you guys like him!!!