#amazon fuck off

[styxfoxx]

why are you so expensive … i’m just gonna steal you.. :3 <33

if the money you're paying is to a small business or a charity, please save up pup!!!

BUT if that's like a big stuff where one me won't make the difference... Steal me >:3 steal all you want!!!

Kidnap me <3

[chrliekclly]

[slasher-smasher]

More Homelander thoughts

I literally just wrote this RIGHT as I got up this morning. (4 am kill me) this will probably not make sense.

As much as I would love to see Homelander come heh apart during sex, I think that him being introduced to the most simplest concept of skinship or experiencing intimate things that doesn't lead to hard core pound town would have the same devastating impact on him.

Like, ok bare with me and my sleep addled nonsense brain but I would like to just start off with just having him experience some cuddles. Maybe it's early in the relationship (firm believer he is demisexual like me!) and you guys are still getting to know each other and you notice how tired he is viscerally even if he is still plastering that smiley persona. So you offer your lap to rest his head and maybe watch a movie. He might be weary at first but when you start absentmindedly carding your fingers through his hair? Oh man. Everyone KNOWS how that man would melt. Madelyn knew what she was doing with this starved boy.

Next would be a little spicier and—more importantly—fun! I want that man to experience what I call "teenager moments" like pulling him into an empty room just to make out or sneak around maybe into restricted areas for more cuddles and kisses because you know he gets stressed and it's fun to see what you guys can get away with.

Now this is (personally for me) the most important part for him. As I mentioned above, I think skinship for this broken and insecure man would do wonders. The trust in you for him to even consider taking off the top of his suit let alone all of it at the same time would have to be deep.

I think the biggest thing he is sensitive about is his body image. I'd suggest little touches to his neck and maybe sliding your fingers a little under the sleeves of his suit to caress the skin of his wrists and (if you can) forearms bit by bit to get him used to having not only the feeling of other parts of him being touched but to know that you WANT to explore other parts of him. That you are not just there for self satisfaction and want to make HIM feel good. You want to feel his warm flesh under your hands —the beat of his heart, not the pads of the faux muscle that Vaught wants people to think he has.

This is that part where you would combine the intimacy of making out and cuddles with the extra step of removing an article of clothing. He would feel much better when you also remove your clothing. He hates feeling vulnerable.

With Vought shoving unrealistic media and propaganda down his throat since infancy, Homelander would immediately think naked = sex but you would have to convince him that you are not expecting sex. You have to show him that just feeling the skin of your partner against yours can be just as intimate.

You could be in his lap or vice versa and he would marvel in the sensation of having your chest pressed against his with no thickly padded barrier. Moaning into your mouth as you slid your hands down his shoulders and back.

This would be so cathartic for him. He was always expected to give and provide and act a certain way but with just the two of you sitting on the couch or bed, caressing each others skin. Finding small things like his ribs being sensitive or just enjoying the warmth and scent of your naked skin. He doesn't have to worry about fulling expectations. You love him.

Expect tears and sad little whimpers. This man needs a full blown naked cuddle session.

Sorry if this is just random ranting that makes no sense. I had to get this out or I would be consumed.

[iceysnow]

Yeah no, where tf is my fic of Invincible ending up in the boy's world in s2 e8 and Homelander saying "Yep, this is my brother/son/colleague". I JUST WANT TO SEE MARK NERVOUSLY LAUGHING AS HOMELANDER LECTURES ON ABOUT BEING GODS.

Mark: Heh well...we're gonna save them now... right...?

Homelander: Y'know, that's the thing we're God's Mark, we don't have to do anything- (delusional lecture)

Mark: (trauma-induced flashback to his dad beating his skull into the side of a mountain)

it doesn't matter which season he spawns in, ANY IS GOOD.

season 1: Mark spawns in and the public goes "Yo, new rando supe just dropped! he claims to be from a diff dimension!". Vought freaks out cause Marks actually doing a good job (better than homelander- looks at a certain flight 👀) AND he doesn't have a chip. they convince Mark to work with them and Homelander adopts befriends him after realizing they basically have the same powers (minus the lazers) and marks 17-18(depending on the season). the boys are trying to figure out his deal before realizing Vought hired a teenage, traumatized, depressed, Alien (????????), Dimensional traveler(Nobody actually believed him), whose dad is a space nazi.

Season 2: similar concept except mark could be found by bought before making his presence in public as a anomaly. he's pushed in to a lot more advertising then he is comfortable as he realizes he's not doing any ACTUAL hero work. Mark gets Omniman vibes off Stormfront. He surprisingly gets along with Ryan. mark interacts with the boys for the first time in the sewers (also his first hint that homelander's a maniac). Yada-yada- THERES SO MUCH MORE TO THIS AU.

season 3: IDC WTF HAPPENS I JUST WANT HOMELANDER GIVING THE OMNIMAN SPEECH AND SOLDIER BOY GROSSING OUT MARK. also, Mark carries the final battle tbh (after a very wet cat esc emotional arc involving his belief in heros.)

i will carry this Au if i have to.

[jacob-blogs]

Shout-out to the Amazon workers on strike. You deserve literally the bare minimum when it comes to working conditions. Fuck the Postal Union leaders though. Their disconnect from reality has resulted in crazy strenuous conditions at postal centers EVERYWHERE because they continue to bow to the whim of big business instead of standing with the picket lines.

[bamsara]

ngl ever since this post, im designing and cutting out these stickers out at home which is a very time consuming and repetitive labor process only to know that there's thieves out there selling my designs at a fraction of the cost is extremely discouraging like. what is the point. what is even the fucking point.

[i-am-church-the-cat]

Man wtf

[sassy-bitch-since-2007]

Let's be honests guys, the only reason Noah was in the same team as Alejandro is because otherwise Alejandro would have flirted with him at any given moment (you know, to vote him off or something) which would have made us ship them.

Jokes on everyone, we ship them together anyway.

[otaku-tactician]

they need to localise and port tokimeki memorial girl's side 1, 2, 3 AND 4 to worldwide international gamers outside of Asia.

PLEASE!!!!!

they are actually really good games. some of the love interests are really profound and moving characters, some are annoying assholes from hell, some are regular guys and some are really fun and cute.

PLEASE RELEASE IT ABROAD IM BEGGING YOU

[hawkmoon269]

"I can't believe the news today I can't close my eyes and make it go away How long, how long must we sing this song? How long? How long?"

U2 'Sunday Bloody Sunday', Live Aid 1985.

[bibleofficial]

god bless sleeping 12hrs nightly

[blankinsidecards]

I very firmly believe that The Wilds is one of the greatest premise’s and most perfectly executed concepts for a story in the history of film and television, full of incredible characters and heart wrenching plots, truly showcasing the highest highs and lowest lows of humanity, and it was all cut short because- ah, no I shan’t say…

[darkwing-katy]

It is 2024, almost 2025. There is no excuse for shows on Amazon Prime to not have subtitles in this day and age, especially with AI coming into play. You wanna know what AI can be used for? Fucking putting subtitles on your show.

And then have a human check just because it’s a good idea.

But good fucking golly, there is no excuse at all for something as popular as The Legend of Vox Machina not having subtitles in their third season.

(I’m really fucking pissed off right now, can you tell?)

(Brb gonna watch Person of Interest because Michael Emerson calms me)

[dickgreyson]

devin grayson book where dick did what???

yeah girl devin grayson had some weird book published where like. roy/bruce and dick/ollie had weird inappropriate tension and ollie said smth along the lines of 'theyre such good looking kids, we couldnt be blamed if we molested them'. absolutely feral she needs to atone.

it was fully published BY DC

below the cut

weird dick/ollie stuff

and i remember there being more but like most links are broken now. i think this is enough tho. you can find it here

[ratwithastylus]

Found a lovely tutorial on instagram on how to make an eco-friendly leaf garland out of real leaves and beeswax. Beautiful outcome, really easy instructions. The creator urged viewers not to buy plastic garlands. Completely understandable, thanks for giving an alternative!

I go to the comments. Creator gives people a link to the beeswax they used. It’s on fucking Amazon. The irony is fucking astounding.

[kandiyaki]

YOU ARE OUT OF UNIFORM, PUPPYGIRL! WHERE IS YOUR MAID OUTFIT?

DON'T HAVE ONE? YOU EXPECT ME TO BELIVE THAT, MAGGOT?

THE TRUTH IS YOU LOST AN EXPENSIVE PIECE OF POLYCULE-ISSUE EQUIPMENT.

THAT OUTFIT IS GOING TO COME OUT OF YOUR PAY AND YOU WILL REMAIN IN THIS POLYCULE UNTIL YOU ARE FIVE HUNDRED AND TEN YEARS OLD

WHICH IS THE NUMBER OF YEARS IT WILL TAKE FOR YOU TO PAY FOR THE MARK II AMAZON MAID OUTFIT YOU HAVE LOST!

REPORT TO THE DOM AND HAVE A NEW OUTFIT ISSUED TO YOU, THEN REPORT BACK TO ME, HOMO!

DISMISSED!