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tarotofhope · 4 months ago

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PAC: ♡ Channelled Love Songs from your Current/Future Romantic Partner ♡

(Please Read My Pinned post *IMPORTANT NOTE* before selecting a Pile)

Pick an Image by meditating and selecting the image you feel called to. You can be attracted towards more than 1 image. If you are not able to select maybe this reading isn't for you.

(You can find all the songs mentioned in the Piles on SPOTIFY. Unfortunately Tumblr only allows 10 audio links per post🥲)

Pile 1

Songs - Aaya Jado Da by Asees Kaur

Screen Time by Epik High ft. Hoshi

Don't Forget To Breathe by Aaryan Shah

Welcome to your reading, Pile 1. First of all, lot of green ink occured in your pile. Your partner seems very caring, nurturing and protective of you. They might be a very caring and loving person themselves, very protective of their belongings and loved ones. They like to have a quick check on you(like not in a toxic or negative way). They want to know you better and your little quirks. They genuinely care about your well being. They might be very cautious, structured, organised individual, a fitness freak as well. They seem kind of very picky, they don't open up to just anybody, they might have very few close friends. They're mostly not interested in flings and one-night stands. They take relationships seriously so they'll only jump into it when they see some real value in it. This person is like a 'husband/wife material' person or atleast a long term partner. This also seems like a long distance relationship to me or getting into a relationship after a series of personal hardships when you've become very mature either age-wise or experience-wise.

So, that's all I got for you, my dear Pile 1.

Hope you're with this person or find this person soon 😉

Hope, light, love and peace to you..🌸🌼🌻

Pile 2

Songs - Talk About Love by Callum Beattie

Seven- Clean Version by Jungkook

Tenu Khabar Nahi by Arijit Singh

Welcome to your reading, Pile 2. Have you guys currently been in separation or broken up with your partner? This could be a recent past energy as well. See, now this also looks like an ex's energy(I don't like to go into this topic because it creates unnecessary confusion but it appeared in the reading so I had to) and whether ex or not, if you strictly don't want this person back into your life, you must then very well know that you've ended up for good and you don't need to allow this person back or this pile totally isn't for you, you should select another pile. One thing is prominent though, one of you has done something bad to the another person..and that was the main reason for your guys' separation. I'm nobody to judge you guys, you know yourselves better. Well, whoever this person is, they want to reconcile with you or you're currently reconciling already. It could be a different case for everyone choosing this pile. It could be so that this person or both of you might still have feelings for each other. This person wants to make things better or do things right. There is a promise of not making the same mistakes again. This person is asking for another chance. Now, you need to decide for yourselves, what's good for you and what's not. It's totally up to you.

That's all I see in the cards for you, my dear Pile 2.

Hope, light, love and peace to you..🌸🌼🌻

Pile 3

Songs - Tera Mera Hai Pyar Amar by Ahmed Jahanzeb

I'm Gonna Love You by D.O. ft. Wonstein

Can't Help Falling In Love by Elvis Presley

Welcome to your reading, Pile 3. This person looks so in love. But more so, this person is very sure of you, there feelings are very intense, too. As they are saying, that it's so easy to fall in love with you, either it's a love at first sight situation or there is a certain clarity about choosing you/about wanting to continue further with you. Nothing can change their mind about you. They are giving me strong future spouse energy because they just want to take you away as soon as possible. So, they'll be very assertive in their approach towards you in the courtship period itself. I also think that they'll be the first one to approach you if you've not met this person already. They'll make sure that you know they are not just fooling around, that you're in for a very long ride. They'll also want to make sure that you too, feel the same way for them before going very far because they want it all or nothing. They'll definitely try to win your heart over, Pile 3.

That's all I got for you, dear Pile 3.

Hope, light, love and peace to you..🌼🌸🌻

Pile 4

Songs - Young And Beautiful by Lana Del Rey

Every Second by Baekhyun from EXO (Record of

Youth OST- 3)

Aadat Se Majboor by Benny Dayal

Welcome to your reading, Pile 4. This person might be a heart-throb. Popular person energy(for their work or looks). Everybody swoons over them. Their energy is quite charming and charismatic. They are bold, fun loving and outgoing, life of the party kind of person. You both might be quite the opposite of each other. They will be very confident in their approach. They might just be nervous about how to woo you because you are different from others and they don't want to make any mistake. They don't want to look like a creep. If you've already met this person or in a relationship, you know. They are someone who'll totally make a fool out of themselves to make you laugh. They love to see you smile and laugh but also, you don't laugh a lot, it seems. There seems to be a lot of people who are sexually attracted to them, but they choose you because you are special to them, you're not like the others according to them. They might've got their heart broken a couple times earlier due to which they're afraid of losing you but that's not going to be the case because they're sure of one thing that you're very firm in your decisions, rock solid and you won't run away when life gets bad. You guys are going to be like a power couple, each helping the other person where they are lacking, each completing the other.

So, that's all I got for you, my dear Pile 4.

Hope, light, love and peace to you..🌻🌼🌸

Pile 5

Songs - Lover by Taylor Swift

Spider By Hoshi

Tere Mast Mast Do Nain by Rahat Fateh Ali Khan

Welcome to your reading, Pile 5. Your person seems very Venusian(very lovey-dovey, full of charm, likes fine art) and Neptunian(very dreamy) to me, a hopeless romantic even. Some of you might also be attracted to Pile 4, because this pile has got some similar vibes. They are magnetic, could also be popular for something that they do, something that only they create. They have a good taste in music as well, could be a musician or they like to play musical instruments. Dancing and singing could be their hobby or talent. They are also someone who knows flirting like the back of their hand. It comes naturally to them, sometimes they don't even know that they're flirting. They might also like good food and fine-dining, might also love to cook. You might not like this person in the beginning because you think they're a flirt and they don't look serious, but you'll eventually start liking them because they're not what they seem from the outside. It is giving me the vibes of 'One fell in love first, but the other one fell harder.' Their heart is so pure and innocent. They'll woo you with their heart, Pile 5. You seem like a tough nut to crack to them, someone who's hard to get. I also think you've got pretty eyes and a resting b**** face. They love it. There's going to be a playful banter between you guys. Everything will be worth it in the end.

So, that's all I've got for you, my dear Pile 5.

Hope, light, love and peace to you..🌻🌼🌸

Thank you so much for being here. I post PAC readings every Tuesday and Friday. Do love and support by reblogging, liking or following.

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#astrology #divination #spiritualgrowth #tarot pick a card #pick a card #tarot pac #pick a pile #daily tarot #Spotify

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sunkissedchld · 8 months ago

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𝐏𝐈𝐂𝐊 𝐀 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐃

𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒆𝒍𝒆𝒅 𝒎𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒂𝒈𝒆𝒔 𝒗𝒆𝒓. 𝒐𝒏𝒆

take your time to use your intuition to choose the pile that will best resonate with you. the piles are from elft to right, so the clear crystal is pile one, the tiger's eye is pile two, and so on and so forth. lastly, please don't be afraid to say if the message resonated or not; it helps me in determining if my interpretations are correct or not, and i appreciate any sort of feedback - even if it's "bad".

good luck to you, reader 🔮

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐈

Signs:

heavily craving or avoiding physical touch, prominent first house or major first house transits right now, 9/99/999, heavy fire sign placements or embodying fire sign energy recently (or needing to), archangel gabriel, heavy sagittarius and/or cancer energy, mercury, uranus

Shufflemancy:

“Confessions” by Usher

“Lost Without U” by Robin Thicke

“Insecure” by Amare La Negra

“ICONIC” by Aespa

“3RACHA” by Stray Kids

Cards:

Ace of Cups, Page of Wands (Rx), Knight of Swords (Rx), Broom, Knight of Pentacles (Rx), Queen of Pentacles, Justice, The Hermit, The Star, The Magician

Reading:

It feels like there’s two camps of people for this pile: those with project ideas in mind for work or for their own personal lives and those interested in a potential crush or relationship. I’ll try to give examples for both and keep things semi-neutral, but sometimes things aren’t always that clean, so apply to your situation as needed.

You may feel excited about this new project or relationship. You’re excited about potential prospects and have all these ideas running in your mind about how to go about things or how things will turn out, but this excitement is actually proving to be unhelpful or detrimental in a sense. Excitement with the right work ethic and listening ears can be a blessing, but without direction and input from others can cause you flail. It seems you could be rushing into things and trying to make pieces fit where they don’t so to speak. You could be thinking your plan is perfect and if everything just went the way you wanted, then all would be great, but this isn’t true. You need to get rid of this idea of you being this know-it-all who knows exactly what’s happening right now.

For those of you who are used to always pursuing and making things happen; you need to step back and allow the universe to play out its wants. You could be the type of person who thinks they have to sacrifice everything in order to be happy or live comfortably, and the truth is that is not the case. You can have a balance between your work life and romantic or personal one; it’s okay to love working and coming up with all these ideas, but you also need to learn how to get comfortable with being with others and yourself outside of that professional, work-minded setting.

For those of you who sit in the background and are a little more lazy, the opposite is true in that you need to step into taking control of your own life instead of leaving decisions and everything else up to the universe or other people around you. you could be too hedonistic and concerned about personal connections to the point where you put your livelihood and financial security at risk. In both instances, a need to balance is present. Also for both instances, there’s an emphasis on spending a little bit of time with yourself to determine in which way you need to expand and in which way you need to pull back from some of your habits.

This pursuit versus lackadaisical attitude can also be applied to pursuing relationships. Some of you are constantly on the look for this person you’re interested in, or you’re always thinking of how you want to be in a relationship or how you can get into one when you need to step back and let it come to you when you need it. Others of you are acting as if you’re completely out of the game and are putting in no effort to create and maintain relationships when the reality is humans are interactive creatures, and you too need interaction! Again, a balance is needed for those this aligns with.

Ultimately, you can have whatever it is you want: the lead on the project, the relationship, the good work ethic, the hedonistic lifestyle, but you also need to balance that with what it is you’re avoiding. The perfect recipe or spell concoction isn’t made with too much of any one ingredient. Everything has to work together in order for so-called perfection to be derived.

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐈𝐈

Signs:

lack of sight, “going in blind”, prominent twelfth house placements or transits, heavy pisces placements or energy, 1212, venus, 3/33/333, “i’m walking on sunshine”; “i’m trying to ascend”; “i’m crucified like my savior; saint-like behavior”

Shufflemancy:

“in my head” by Ariana Grande

“Cry Baby” by Megan Thee Stallion (feat. DaBaby)

“Say My Name (Live)” by Beyoncè

“Emotional Bruises” by Madison Beer

“Streets Is Callin’” by B2K

Cards:

Page of Wands (Rx), Page of Pentacles, The Chariot, Ace of Swords, Seven of Cups, The Patient Witch, Three of Cups, Three of Pentacles, Good Luck Charm

Reading:

Those choosing pile two might be in an intermittent state currently. Previously, you could’ve felt like you were on top of the world with everything set in stone, but now you’ve lost your footing, and you can’t necessarily figure out why. You might’ve started a project or new endeavor, and now you’re running into unexpected troubles which are making you want to give up.

You might be someone who is obsessive about the things they want; you need everything to turn out exactly how you pictured it - to the point of refusing to be happy with anything less or slightly different even if the bulk of what you want is given to you. When you do encounter differences (or what you’d consider roadblocks), you have a habit of abandoning things or believing you must’ve messed up in some way – even when that’s not the case! You get so focused on “fixing” things that you forget to be appreciative of what you do accomplish.

It seems you recognize you’re on some sort of journey, and you’re excited to do so much; you have so many ideas you want to pursue that sometimes you confuse yourself about what to do. In some ways, an abundance of choices is confusing you. You could inherently know that you likely can’t pursue everything (or that you shouldn’t), but your curiosity is getting the best of you. For some of you, I feel like some of these illusionary good choices have already come forward, and you’ve figured out the hard way that not every choice available to you is a good one.

Those of pile two are being called to do a few things. One is to be patient and listen to yourself. Again, you can have all these ideas about what you want to do, but you need to figure out a way to “be still” and concentrate your energy on what’s best for you. You don’t have to be making moves or plans all the time; I know being told to meditate can feel frustrating, but the truth is that it’s hard to make good decisions without fully thinking them through. This act of listening to your inner self does not have to be done completely alone though (although parts of it should be). Don’t be afraid to ask friends, your guides, or other people around you for advice or help. Talk through your ideas, work with others to achieve them – you might see more success creating a community as opposed to acting totally alone.

Overall pile two, things will work out for you depending on how you act and whether or not you listen. If you keep pursuing things faster than you’re ready to, then you can expect rude awakenings about needing to slow down and think before acting. If you take the time to get in tune with yourself and determine what it is you truly should be going after, then you can expect better outcomes and results.

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐈𝐈𝐈

Signs:

9/99/999, feeling sick recently, not trusting yourself, “don’t trust yourself”, uranus prominence, the color red, lack of fight, dogma, fire dominance or being drawn to fire, 3/33/333, swords, prominent air energy or dominance, 6/66

Shufflemancy:

“Right Here” by Alex Aiono

“Princess Going Digital” by Amaarae

“King’s Dead” by Kendrick Lamar (feat. Jay Rock, Future, & James Blake)

“Muwop” by Latto (feat. Gucci Mane)

“Die A Little Bit” by Tinashe (feat. Ms Banks)

Cards:

Six of Swords, Six of Wands, Four of Pentacles, Nine of Swords, Five of Swords, The World, Nine of Wands, Temperance, The Tower, Ten of Cups (Rx), Ace of Swords

Reading:

I think this pile is mainly for those thinking about or experiencing a romantic situation – not everyone will be, so don’t be alarmed because the overall message will be able to be applied regardless of whether romance is in your life right now or not. Those who chose this pile may be the type to close themselves off from others; in a lot of ways you’re hiding your light and existence from people who would appreciate and celebrate you. You could be someone who has social anxiety or worries often about the way people perceive you; you might find it hard to make friends or to establish relationships (romantic, platonic, maybe even familial) where you feel comfortable revealing your authentic self to others.

You’re being called to leave this unsure part of yourself behind. You could be insecure when it comes to interacting with others – maybe you have a stutter or there’s some other factor that impacts your speech or how comfortable you feel when talking to people. For some of you, you may not understand what makes you special or what would draw people to you as a person, but Six of Wands in the deck I have says, “you’re kind of a big deal, so start acting like it!”. Even if you can’t see your own beauty, draw, or light other people can and want to connect with you because of it and because of who you portray yourself to be.

Going back to relationships and trying to make connections with others, you may be someone who always thinks the worst of people. You may often think, “no one will like me”; “I won’t be able to make friends here”; “I’m not interesting enough”; “all my relationships go to shit in some way, so why try”, and the advice to you is “you can’t be right all of the time”. The worst possible outcome is not the only outcome. There’s almost a guarantee that if you get out of your comfort zone and be intentional in establishing relationships with people, then you may find the outcomes you fear so much won’t happen. “You have to give people the chance to show you they’re not like the people who have been in your life previously”.

There’s an emphasis on the fact that you’re still standing even though you may have experienced times when you didn’t think you would keep going. The only/main thing holding you back right now is not your guides or the universe or the people around you or some outside evil force that you think only has it out for you – you are imposing limitations on yourself because of your fear of being hurt again. Although you’re being urged to try and pursue relationships out of your own volition; it’s important to note that some people are coming forward regardless. You must get rid of this idea that you’re unlikeable or unlovable, and you’ll likely have a Tower moment regarding your idea of and the way you act in relationships soon.

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐈𝐕

Signs:

the color purple, feeling restless or tired, sun dominance or needing to go out in the sun, prominent capricorn, libra, and/or gemini placements, red orange/blood orange, second house placements or transits, “trust yourself”, artemis, poseidon, water dominance or working with water, hades

Shufflemancy:

“libidO” by OnlyOneOf

“Focus” by H.E.R

“Victory” by Yolanda Adams

“UGOMDN” by chlothegod

“Star Lost” by Stray Kids

Cards:

Page of Pentacles (Rx), Seven of Cups, The Patient Witch (Rx), Queen of Swords, Page of Cups, Five of Wands, Ten of Wands (Rx), The Lovers (Rx), Ace of Pentacles, Eight of Cups. Judgment

Reading:

The message for those of you who chose pile four is going to be a little harsh – just as a disclaimer. Your guides may be at their wits end in trying to tell you nicely or in trying to contact you in general, so this could be a message you’ve been ignoring or not understanding for a while. This could be a lesson you keep running into; I heard “you’re tired? We’re tired too”, so take that as it resonates. This pile also feels adjacent to pile two because some of the same cards came out, but I think this pile is for those of you who have little time to make your decision to change your ways because you’ve already been warned multiple times.

At your core, you embody the Queen of Swords; you may be quick-witted, steadfast in your knowledge of who you are and what you want, outspoken, and independent to a fault, but currently these attributes are manifesting in the most negative ways. Currently, you could be acting childish and “rotten”; I’m reminded of Violet from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. You’re so stuck in this idea of how you want things to play out and what you want that you’ve backed yourself into a situation where you come off as immature and lazy if things don’t go your way. What seems to be coming through is “oh, you’re stubborn? We can be stubborn too”.

Your guides are wanting you to loosen up and be open to experiencing what’s thrown to and/or given to you. You have the ultimate control over your life, but I’m seeing some of you specifically asked for your guides’ help and aid, so if you want it, then you have to listen to their suggestions also. Your work with them is not a one-way affair, so stop treating it as such. They are not magic genies who are to drop everything and give you everything you want at your beck and call. I heard “cruisin’ for a bruisin’” which could be related to your need to control things.

The advice of this reading is really to be mindful of how you're treating your guides and your intentions in your journey with them. For one, you’re shouldering too much responsibility to the point where you’re burning yourself out. It is not possible to go through life all by yourself with no help or input from anyone else. It’s also not possible to have a relationship with your guides and never listen to them or treat them like they’re your servants. If you keep running into obstacles and misfortunes going on your own, then maybe try their way for a while and see how it works for you.

Overall pile four, your guides want to work with you. They want to provide you with abundance and see you prosper and above all happy, but if you refuse to listen, then you will keep stumbling.

#tarot #oracle #pick a card #PAC #tarotblr #sunkissedchld #Spotify

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vamptizm · 8 days ago

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iv. MISSION JEALOUSY — p. bueckers

pairing : paige bueckers x clover amar (oc)

synopsis : in which paige bueckers and clover amar, two uconn wbb stars, have an ongoing mission of making each other jealous and outdoing the other.

warnings : hannah hidalgo :/ homophobia. a slur being dropped. that’s all i think?

word count : 4.8k

note : was gonna add smut to this but honestly it’s taking me sooo long and it’d make the chapter too long for my taste so i got y’all next update fr. (on my subby/switch paige shit so.. yeah)

series masterlist

The air inside the Gampel Pavilion buzzed with anticipation. Less than thirty minutes remained before the Huskies tipped off against Notre Dame, and the team was deep into warm-ups. The rhythmic thud of basketballs echoed through the court as sneakers squeaked against polished hardwood. Paige moved through the motions, though her mind was far from the game.

She stole a glance at Clover, who was stretching just a few feet away. Clover wasn't looking at her—of course she wasn't—but Paige found her gaze lingering for a moment too long. She wasn't jealous, not at all. What was there to be jealous about? Clover could do whatever—or whoever—she wanted. Paige certainly didn't care. Her jaw tightened as she shook the thought away, forcing her focus back to her shooting drills.

��It wasn't jealousy,’ Paige told herself for what felt like the hundredth time since last night. It's annoyance. Irritation. Frustration. The memory of Clover's smug grin from the night before burned in her mind, unshakable. Paige had spent the night tossing and turning, her thoughts spinning with images she refused to acknowledge. Clover and that waitress, the blanket slipping over bare shoulders, the tattoos curling over Clover's arms like whispers of secrets Paige didn't want to think about.

She dribbled the ball harder than necessary. It wasn't like she hadn't had someone in her bed just hours before the game. What bothered her was that Clover hadn't been there to see it. Not that it mattered. It didn't matter if Clover cared—or didn't.

Paige released a long breath, sinking her next shot with a little more effort than usual. The team's warm-ups were nearly over, the energy building as the crowd filled the arena. Just as she began to head toward the tunnel with the rest of the Huskies, a familiar figure caught her attention near the student section.

Clover was standing there, her back to the court, chatting with a group of girls. Their laughter rang out, light and teasing, as they leaned in closer to Clover's confident stance. Paige felt her teeth clench. Clover's charm was effortless, her natural charisma always drawing people in. The way the girls giggled at whatever she was saying only grated on Paige's nerves further, though she couldn't for the life of her understand why.

The team was already halfway to the tunnel when Paige called out, loud enough for the entire court to hear. "C'mon, Amar! You can chit-chat with your fans later!"

The laughter from the student section died down as Clover turned her head, her smile fading into an annoyed scowl. She rolled her eyes, muttering something to the girls before giving them a quick parting smile and jogging back toward the team.

As she passed Paige, Clover didn't even glance her way. Paige's irritation only deepened, her jaw tightening as Clover breezed past, all casual confidence and deliberate indifference.

Once she reached Nika and Jana, Clover grumbled something in Arabic under her breath, her tone dripping with frustration. "I swear to god, she's lucky I don't like to make a scene in front of everyone."

Jana chuckled softly, clearly catching the gist of it, while Nika looked puzzled, though she didn't get the chance to ask for translations before the team was ushered into the tunnel for their entrance.

Jogging out onto the court, Paige fell into the familiar rhythm of the pre-game show. She slapped hands with fans lining the sideline, her game face firmly in place, though her mind still wandered back to Clover. She sat on the bench as the starting lineup was called, her focus sharpening despite the lingering tension from earlier. It was Paige, Nika, Azzi, Aaliyah and lastly Clover as the starting five.

Clover was the last player introduced, wearing her number seven jersey like a badge of honor. She waved confidently to the roaring crowd, her makeup perfectly subtle and the bright lights illuminating the ink on her subtly toned arms. Paige felt her gaze drawn to Clover again, even as she tried to convince herself otherwise. Clover Amar was truly magnetic, and everyone in the pavilion seemed to agree.

Clover made her way back to the bench, high-fiving and dapping up her teammates as she went. When she reached Paige, the usual cocky smirk was gone, replaced by a more subdued expression. Paige hesitated for a split second before returning the gesture. In that moment, the rivalry that consumed them off the court melted away, replaced by a shared determination to win.

But as they settled into the game, Paige couldn't shake the flicker of jealousy that lingered, buried deep beneath her competitive exterior.

And Clover? She could feel Paige's gaze, even if the blonde refused to admit it. A small, private smirk tugged at her lips as she refocused on the court. She always came out on top, after all.

The moment the buzzer echoed through the arena, Clover was in motion, laser-focused on the ball soaring through the air. She leapt, snagging it with ease before sprinting down the court. Her movements were fluid, practiced, and confident. A quick step to the left, a light jump, and she laid the ball into the basket, securing the first two points for UConn within the first ten seconds of the game.

Jogging back, she allowed herself a small grin, slapping hands with Azzi as they regrouped on defense. The crowd roared, the game already electric with intensity.

Six minutes in, the energy hadn't let up. UConn was clinging to a one-point lead, and every possession felt critical. Clover was open in the corner, her position perfect. She waved her arms at Paige, who was caught in the middle of Notre Dame's suffocating defense.

"Paige!" Clover shouted, her voice cutting through the noise. She was wide open, but Paige didn't even glance her way.

Instead, the blonde pivoted, determined to take the shot herself despite the two defenders closing in on her. Paige jumped, aiming for a mid-range shot, but Notre Dame's forward was quicker. The ball was swatted out of the air, stolen in an instant. The break was fast, the Notre Dame player sprinting down the court and sinking a clean three-pointer before UConn could react.

Clover froze for a moment, her frustration boiling to the surface. She wanted to throw her arms up, shout at Paige, demand to know what she was thinking. But she knew better than to cause a scene mid-game. Taking a deep breath, she forced herself to jog back down the court, her hands clenched into fists.

By the time the buzzer signaled the end of the first quarter, UConn had fallen behind by three points. The team trudged toward the bench, sweat gleaming on their faces. Paige was visibly fuming, her jaw tight and her eyes narrowed. Nothing about her game was clicking tonight. She wasn't moving the way she usually did, wasn't landing her shots with her typical ease.

Clover, on the other hand, was trying to calm her own annoyance. She plopped down on the bench, grabbing her water bottle and downing it in a few gulps. Her chest rose and fell with deep breaths as she fought to shake off the frustration of being ignored on the court. She wouldn't let Paige's stubbornness ruin her focus.

Geno's voice boomed as the team gathered around, his sharp eyes scanning the group. He jabbed his marker against the whiteboard, drawing out a new play with quick, decisive strokes.

"Paige," he barked, his tone leaving no room for argument, "if you don't start passing that goddamn ball to Clover, you're running suicides after this game. Got it?"

The huddle was silent, the players exchanging wary glances. Clover bit the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing, but a small, amused grin still tugged at her lips. She didn't even try to hide it, leaning back slightly as she sipped from her water bottle.

Paige noticed immediately. Her blue eyes darted to Clover's face, catching the smirk before the brunette could wipe it away. Clover didn't say a word, but the message in her expression was clear: ‘Serves you right’

Paige rolled her eyes, but the faint pink rising in her cheeks betrayed her irritation. She looked away quickly, focusing on the whiteboard and ignoring the way her chest tightened every time she caught that smug grin from the corner of her eye.

The team clapped their hands in unison, signaling the end of the huddle as they prepared to head back out for the second quarter. Clover didn't say anything to Paige, didn't need to. She just jogged onto the court, her smirk still lingering as she lined up for the second quarter.

Paige had told herself she'd get it together. Play fair. Stick to the plan. She'd even taken a deep breath before stepping back onto the court, but her resolve shattered within moments.

Her gaze wandered, drawn to the roar of the student section. The fans were on their feet, waving signs and shouting chants, but one particular poster stopped her dead in her tracks.

‘Clover is our lucky charm!’ it read in bold letters, the name replaced with a carefully drawn four-leaf clover and a dark blue ‘#7’

Of course, it's her. The girl Clover had been hooking up with.

Paige gritted her teeth, wondering how none of them had noticed her—or that sign—until now. The sight made her stomach twist, though she couldn't quite pinpoint why.

Aubrey was the first to notice, nudging Clover sharply with her elbow. "Look, Clo. It's your girlfriend," she teased, her grin wicked as she nodded toward the shorter blonde in the stands.

Clover turned her attention to the sign, her jaw tightening as a shiver ran down her spine. She wasn't exactly thrilled about the grand gesture. It was sweet, sure, but also unexpected and, frankly, off-putting. Her memory of the girl—whose name she seemed to forget every other hour—didn't include this level of commitment.

"Shut up," Clover muttered under her breath. "I don't do girlfriends." But even as she dismissed the idea, she shot the girl her trademark charming smile, hoping to keep things light.

The waitress beamed back, completely oblivious to Clover's internal cringe.

Paige caught the exchange and, to her surprise, felt a faint flicker of relief at Clover's clarification. But the flirtatious smile Clover had thrown at the blonde? That sent a different kind of twist through her gut, undoing any momentary comfort.

When the game resumed, Paige's frustration bubbled dangerously close to the surface. She wanted to play better, to prove she wasn't shaken by something as stupid as a sign. But her irritation spilled over into her play, and it didn't take long for Clover to notice.

Whenever Paige had the ball, she either forced shots or passed it off to anyone except Clover. And every missed opportunity gnawed at Clover's patience.

Paige attempted another contested jumper, and once again, the ball didn't even come close to sinking. Notre Dame snatched the rebound, and Clover's restraint snapped. As she jogged back, she passed Paige with a glare sharp enough to cut.

"If you're gonna hog the fucking ball," Clover hissed venomously, "at least make sure it goes in."

Paige barely had time to process the sting of Clover's words before the ball was back in play. Notre Dame's Hannah Hidalgo received the inbound pass, but Clover was already one step ahead. She lunged, intercepting the ball with a burst of speed that sent the crowd into a frenzy.

Dribbling down the court, Clover moved like she was on fire, weaving past the slower defenders. She paused just outside the three-point line, her instincts sharp and her movements confident. The ball left her hands in a perfect arc, and the net barely moved as it swished through.

The scoreboard lit up, and the gap between the teams narrowed, but Clover didn't stop to celebrate. She jogged back down the court, her focus entirely on the next play. She wouldn't waste time with tacky antics like Hidalgo, who seemed to cheer herself on after every shot.

Paige, however, lingered a second too long, watching Clover with a mix of frustration and something uncomfortably close to admiration. She clenched her fists, her chest tightening as she forced herself to refocus. This wasn't about Clover—or whatever storm of emotions that sign had kicked up. This was about the game.

‘Get it together, Paige,’ she thought bitterly. But as her eyes drifted back to Clover, the determination she tried to muster kept slipping through her fingers.

The second quarter had been a disaster. Missed shots. Airballs. Awful foul calls. Notre Dame was practically being handed free throws, and the sheer frequency of it felt almost rigged. Every whistle sent another surge of frustration through the team, but none more so than Clover.

When the buzzer sounded for halftime, Clover's glare shot up to the scoreboard: 34-45. Her fists clenched at her sides, nails digging into her palms. She didn't care about the sting; the anger bubbling inside her made it impossible to focus on anything else. She wanted to scream, maybe even throw something, but instead, she swallowed the rage, holding it in her chest like a ticking bomb. She hated losing—more than anything.

The locker room was no refuge. As soon as the team entered, Clover dropped onto a bench, gripping her water bottle so tightly it looked like she might crush it. She didn't bother speaking, her body language screaming for everyone to keep their distance. The team, well aware of her temper, complied.

Clover Amar's temper was no secret. She'd heard it countless times: ‘You've got to rein it in,’ they'd say. ‘Control yourself.’ But right now? She didn't want to.

Geno's booming voice tore through the room like a thunderstorm. His words were relentless, ricocheting off the walls and into every player's ears. CD stood beside him, arms crossed and nodding in firm agreement.

"You're playing like a bunch of amateurs," Geno growled, his tone like gravel. "Is this how you want to be remembered? By playing like imbeciles?"

No one dared to respond, their silence only fueling his fury. He stalked across the room, barking instructions, correcting plays, and assigning positions for the next half.

"And you," he snapped suddenly, his eyes locking on Paige.

Paige straightened reflexively, her shoulders stiff as Geno marched closer.

"What do you think you're doing out there?" His tone was sharp enough to cut glass.

"I—" Paige started, but no words followed.

"Exactly. You're not thinking," Geno barked, his face hard with disappointment. "You're sitting out the first half of the third quarter. And if you don't start passing that ball when you're back on, you'll be benched for the rest of the game. Got it?"

Paige's cheeks flushed red, a mix of embarrassment and simmering anger coursing through her. She forced herself to nod, biting her tongue against the retort burning on her lips.

Her gaze flicked to Clover, who hadn't even spared her a glance. Instead, the fiery brunette sat with her head bowed, steam practically rising off her skin. Paige's jaw tightened, heat building behind her eyes as she sat in silent fury, as if Clover's frustration was somehow her fault.

Geno stormed out not long after, leaving the team to recover and regroup. The air was thick with tension, every breath heavy. As they trickled back toward the tunnel with a couple of minutes left before the third quarter, Clover hung back. She had other plans.

She grabbed Paige's arm without warning, her grip firm and unrelenting as she dragged the blonde a few feet away from prying eyes and ears. Paige's body stiffened immediately, her posture defensive, but she didn't pull away.

Clover spun her around, her expression livid. "I don't know what the fuck your issue is, but I swear to god, if you don't leave that shit off the court—"

Paige yanked her arm free, cutting Clover off. "Then what? What are you gonna do?" Her voice was sharp, defiant, but her breathing quickened.

Clover's jaw tightened, her teeth grinding together so hard it hurt. Before she could think, her hands shot up, gripping the collar of Paige's jersey with an intensity that made the blonde freeze.

"Stop fucking playing with me, Bueckers," Clover hissed, her voice low and venomous. Her fingers curled tighter into the fabric. "Before I smack that attitude out of you." She leaned closer, their faces just inches apart, her fiery gaze locking with Paige's. "If you're the reason this team loses to our biggest rivals, do you think you'll be able to look any of them in the eye again?"

Paige stared back, her usual sharpness dulled by the proximity, the heat of Clover's words, the anger radiating off her in waves. She hated it—the way her brain scrambled, the way her chest tightened, the way Clover's touch sent an unexpected rush through her.

"No," Paige muttered, her voice quiet and uncertain. She sounded more like a scolded child than a college athlete.

Clover's gaze swept over her, taking in the flushed cheeks and tense posture. With a slight scoff, she released her grip, letting Paige's jersey fall back into place.

"Good." Clover's voice was firm, unwavering. She tapped Paige's cheek twice, condescending but not without purpose. "Now, when you get back on that goddamn court, I better not see you play like an idiot again."

And with that, Clover turned on her heel, leaving Paige standing there, stunned and silent.

The frustration in Paige's chest was still there, but now it mingled with something else. The tall blonde was undeniably turned on.

The second half of the game began with Paige seated on the bench, a towel draped around her shoulders. She watched the court intently, arms crossed, biceps flexing, though the tension in her posture betrayed her frustration. Geno had decided to actually go through with benching her, at least for the time being, to reassess how the game would unfold without her. Paige wasn't thrilled, but she trusted Geno's instincts, even if they stung her pride.

Her gaze flickered toward Clover, who was already moving fluidly up and down the court. Paige could tell immediately—something had changed. Clover played like a spark had been lit inside her, ignited during halftime. The hesitation from the first half was gone; Paige wasn't there to hold her back anymore, she was unafraid to go for deep three-pointers whenever the opportunity presented itself. Her confidence radiated, and for once, Paige wasn't actively critiquing her every move in her head.

Clover wasn't just good—she was unstoppable. Notre Dame's defense couldn't seem to keep up with her. Even Paige, reluctant to admit when someone else stole the spotlight, felt the flicker of a grudging pride watching her teammate dominate. She always knew that Clover could carry the team in ways Paige hated to applaud, even if it was in her head.

Six minutes into the third quarter, UConn trailed by only two points, the score 49-51. The Huskies had clawed their way back, thanks in large part to Clover's determination. It was almost poetic, Paige thought, how much better Clover performed without her there to get in the way.

Then it happened.

Clover moved with precision, intercepting another pass meant for Hannah Hidalgo and knocking the ball cleanly out of her possession. Paige's focus sharpened as she watched Clover pivot and send the ball sailing toward Aaliyah, who sprinted for an easy layup. The crowd roared, and Paige allowed herself a small, satisfied nod. But the celebration was short-lived.

Hannah caught the rebound as it fell into her hands and charged back down the court. Clover was already on her, sticking close, her defense tight. Paige knew how competitive Hidalgo was, knew she hated being shown up. And Clover, so naturally irritating just by existing, had clearly pushed her over the edge.

The words were quiet, barely audible beneath the buzz of the crowd and the squeak of sneakers on hardwood, but Clover heard them as clearly as the girl spitting them.

"Fucking dyke."

Hannah's voice dripped with venom, her expression smug as she threw a shoulder into Clover's path, causing her to lose balance, stumble and trip backwards. Clover hit the court, her palms slapping against the floor to catch herself.

Paige's stomach dropped, a small flame immediately igniting to life inside her chest. Clover pushed herself up quickly, but her face was a storm of fury. She stalked toward Hannah, her movements tense, her fists clenched at her sides.

"The fuck did you just say to me?" Clover spat, her voice sharp enough to cut through the noise in the arena. Her eyes blazed, her entire body practically vibrating with rage.

Before Clover could get any closer, Aaliyah and Nika were there, grabbing her by the waist and pulling her back, their words a quiet blur of attempts to calm her down. Hannah just stood there, unfazed, watching Clover's reaction with a smug smirk.

The whistle blew, and to Paige's disgust, the refs didn't call a foul on Hannah. Instead, a technical foul was issued against Clover for the altercation.

Paige was on her feet before she realized it, her towel falling from her shoulders as Geno called a timeout. The team gathered on the sidelines, and Geno immediately pulled Clover out of the game. She sat on the bench, still seething, her chest rising and falling rapidly as she struggled to calm down. Paige stood nearby, watching her with a mix of frustration and concern.

"Can you control your goddamn temper for once, Amar?" Paige snapped, her voice low and cutting as she looked down at the girl, shaking her head. She wasn't sure why she said it—it was instinct, the same dynamic they always had. But the words felt wrong the moment they left her mouth.

Clover's head shot up, her eyes burning with a fury that nearly matched what she'd shown on the court. "This isn't about temper," she hissed through gritted teeth. "That vertically challenged leprechaun just called me a fucking dyke."

Paige froze. Her world seemed to tilt for a moment as the weight of Clover's words hit her.

"Come again?" she said, her voice sharp but quieter now. Her fists clenched tightly at her sides, nails digging into her palms as she processed what had just been said. The rage she'd felt earlier was nothing compared to what surged inside her now. Any irritation she'd felt toward Clover, any lingering frustrations from the past few weeks, vanished instantly.

No one had the right to speak to Clover like that. No one.

Her jaw tightened, and she turned her head slightly, glaring toward the Notre Dame bench where Hannah now sat. Paige's blood boiled. She wasn't used to feeling protective, not like this—not in a way that consumed her so completely. But the idea of someone hurting Clover, of targeting her so cruelly, was enough to make her see red.

For the first time in days, Paige didn't care about winning, losing, or whatever petty feud she and Clover had going on. The only thing she cared about now was making sure Hannah Hidalgo regretted ever stepping foot on the court.

As Geno barked instructions to the team, preparing to send Paige back in, she locked eyes with Clover. Her voice was steady but low, almost a promise.

"I'll handle her."

Clover raised a brow at her, surprised by the shift in Paige's tone. There was no teasing smirk, no playful jab. Just a quiet, unyielding determination. Paige turned away, stepping onto the court with a newfound purpose.

If she had to play 'dirty' to make her point, then so be it. No one messed with her team—not on Paige's watch.

The whistle blew, signaling the resumption of the game. Paige strode onto the court, her focus sharper than it had been all night. The noise of the crowd faded into the background as her gaze locked onto Hannah Hidalgo. The Notre Dame guard might have been fast and agile, but Paige had years of experience on her.

Every move Paige made was calculated, fueled by the fire burning in her chest. Her defense became suffocating, her presence impossible to ignore. Every time Hannah touched the ball, Paige was there, her hands in the way, forcing turnovers, drawing offensive fouls, and making Hidalgo visibly uncomfortable.

The crowd erupted as Paige stole the ball from Hannah and passed it to Azzi, who sank a clean jumper. Paige didn't celebrate—her eyes were glued to Hannah, whose smugness was beginning to waver.

"Not bad for a dyke, huh?" Paige muttered under her breath as they jogged back down the court.

But Hannah wasn't one to back down. She shoved Paige slightly as they crossed paths, earning her a warning glance from the refs. Paige smirked, her satisfaction growing. She didn't need to escalate things further—not yet.

Clover sat on the bench, her leg bouncing with restless energy. She hated not being on the court, hated feeling sidelined. But as she watched Paige systematically dismantle their game, something inside her shifted.

Paige was relentless. There was no pettiness, no grandstanding—just a raw, focused determination. It was a side of Paige Clover had rarely seen, one that made it impossible to look away. One that made her unconsciously press her thighs together.

For the first time in a while, Clover felt something other than irritation toward the blonde. Maybe it was gratitude, or maybe it was something deeper, something Clover wasn't ready to name. Either way, the sight of Paige defending her honor—however indirectly—sent a warmth through her chest and core, she hadn't expected.

By the time the fourth quarter began, UConn had pulled ahead, leading 65-60. Geno subbed Clover back in, and the energy on the court shifted once again.

Clover and Paige fell into an unspoken rhythm, their usual animosity replaced by a surprising cohesion. Paige started passing the ball to Clover without hesitation, setting her up for open shots and helping her navigate Notre Dame's aggressive defense.

It wasn't perfect—they still bickered during timeouts, their competitive streaks clashing over strategy. But on the court, they were unstoppable. Clover's sharpshooting combined with Paige's vision and defensive tenacity turned the game on its head.

With less than a minute on the clock, UConn led by three points. Notre Dame had possession, and Hannah had the ball. Paige didn't hesitate, closing in on her with suffocating pressure.

Hannah tried to fake left, but Paige anticipated the move, her hand darting out to tip the ball away. Clover was there in an instant, scooping up the loose ball and sprinting down the court. She didn't stop, weaving through defenders before leaping for a layup that sealed the game.

The buzzer sounded, and the arena erupted. UConn had won, 78-73.

Clover and Paige didn't immediately celebrate together—they weren't there yet. But as the team gathered at center court, Paige caught Clover's eye. There was no teasing smirk, no sharp comment—just a small nod of acknowledgment.

Clover returned it, her lips curving into the faintest of smiles.

In the locker room, the team celebrated their hard-fought victory, their earlier frustrations replaced by relief and camaraderie. Geno offered his usual gruff praise, and the players began to unwind.

Clover was at her locker, peeling off her jersey, when Paige approached.

"You played well," Paige said, her voice quieter than usual.

Clover looked up, surprised. Paige rarely gave compliments, and even when she did, they were usually laced with sarcasm. But this felt genuine.

"So did you," Clover replied, her tone softer than usual. She hesitated, then added, "Uhm... thanks. For earlier."

Paige shrugged, but her cheeks flushed slightly. "Nobody talks to you like that, except me." she said simply.

Clover scoffed with a faint smile. "How sweet. Guess there's hope for you yet, Bueckers."

Paige rolled her eyes, but there was no bite behind it. "Don't get used to it."

As she walked away, Clover couldn't help but watch her go, a small, curious smile playing on her lips.

Something had shifted between them. It wasn't forgiveness, and it certainly wasn't friendship—not yet. But it was something they supposed.

#⇢ ˗ˏˋ vamptizm writes ࿐ྂ #mission jealousy #paige bueckers #paige bueckers x reader #uconn wbb #uconn women’s basketball #uconn huskies

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lovepeaceandtarot · 3 months ago

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Pick a card - A message from your future partner

(Escolha uma carta - Uma mensagem do seu futuro parceiro)

If you want a reading on your energy, just schedule a paid reading with me in DM!

(Se quiser uma leitura na sua energia, basta agendar uma leitura paga comigo na DM!)

If that found you, it was for a reason. Take what resonates and leave what doesn’t resonate.

(Se isso encontrou você, é por uma razão. Pegue o que ressoar e deixe o que não ressoa.)

Card 1 - "Hello, darling. I'm moving forward, I have a very hectic life and enjoying everything before your arrival. I take care of my horse, he is very special and runs very fast. I hope you like animals and horses, you will love mine and I may take you for a walk in it. Wow, did that sound like double meaning? Hahaha. Sorry about that.”

(Carta 1: “Olá, querida. Eu estou seguindo em frente, eu estou com a vida muito agitada e aproveitando tudo antes da sua chegada. Eu tenho cuidado do meu cavalo, ele é muito especial e corre muito rapido. Espero que goste de animais e de cavalos, você vai amar o meu e pode ser que eu te leve para passear nele. Nossa, isso soou como duplo sentido? Hahaha. Desculpa por isso.”)

Card 2 - "Hello, darling. You're on the right track, keep doing your things. I want to fulfill your wishes, take you to contemplate the stars. You're everything I've ever wanted in this life. I can't wait to meet you and be with you."

(Carta 2 - “Olá, querida. Você está no caminho certo, continue fazendo suas coisas. Quero realizar seus desejos, te levar para contemplar as estrelas. Você é tudo que eu sempre desejei nessa vida. Mal posso esperar para encontrar você e estar com você.”)

Card 3: "Hello, love. Don't be sad, I'm right in front of you and I'll be with you forever. Do you like hugs? If so, I will love to hug you and welcome you for the rest of my life."

(Carta 3: “Olá, amor. Não fique triste, eu estou bem na sua frente e vou estar com você para sempre. Você gosta de abraços? Se sim, vou amar te abraçar e te acolher para o resto da vida.”)

#tarot #tarotportugal #tarotreading #career #careerreading #generalreading #foryou #foryoupage #explore #explorar #amorproprio #tarô #tarotcards #tarotcomunity #consultasdetarot #selfcare #autocuidado #freetarotreading #generalreading #acolhimento #loveyourself #pickapiletarot

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slightlyartist · 8 months ago

Note

Hello!

I just found your blog and I'm already in love with your CEO Jesus.

Do you know the actor Kayvan Novak? He plays Nandor The Relentless in What We Do In The Shadows. Some of his fans think he would be a great Jesus and your fanart looks like him!

Example:

Lovely fanart either way!!

have a good day :D

Haha yes!! Many people pointed it out!! I have done my silly little research and I also offer this actor for CEO Jesus:

Amar Chadha-Patel!

I think he also brings the silly bratty guy energy I'm looking for!

#judtalks #good omens #ceo jesus #good omens jesus #amar chadha-patel

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delulu-hours · 1 year ago

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Together {3}

Paring: Derek Morgan x Latina!reader

Summary: You had a big surprise for him. So when you and Derek go and visit his mother for her birthday, you figured it would be the best way to tell them. To tell his family; however, things don't go as planned when Derek gets arrested. Memories flood the both of you as you figured out how to fight this nightmare together.

Tigger warning: mention of sexual assault and abuse.

{1} {2} {4}

You were instantly hugged when you arrived at Derek's mom's house. His mom held you tightly, whispering how she was worried about you. Sarah and Desiree stood close behind, and you could see it in their eyes. They were suffering, just like you were. "I'm sorry." You wrapped your arms around her.

"Did you eat? Where did you go?" She placed a hand on your shoulders, pulling back from the hug. Her eyes searched your face as she touched your cheek. "Oh honey," You knew she could tell you were exhausted. You were drained even if you gave them your best smile. "You look tired."

"I'm fine." You reassured her. You didn't want to add more to their worries. Soft steps behind you reminded you who else tagged along. You cleared your throat and slightly moved away. "Right, uhm," You looked at Emily and Reid, who waited outside the door. "These people are here to talk about Derek. They work with him, and they're here to help." You motioned them in.

"I hope you don't mind if we ask you all a few questions about Morgan." Emily took a step inside the house. Her eyes quickly glanced around before looking back at Derek's mom. "It shouldn't take too long. We need to understand why this is happening." You felt the way Derek's mom shifted closer to you. You smiled at her as you rubbed her arm.

"I'm gonna go shower." You excused yourself and went to the room. You grabbed some clothes, took a hoodie from Derek, and went straight for the bathroom. You turned on the water and allowed it to run as you sat on the toilet seat. Hands in your lap as you looked at them, nails digging into the side of your fingers.

"Nadie te va a amar como yo. (No one is going to love you like I do)" His voice sounded so close to your ear as you squeezed them shut. You could feel his hands touch the side of your arms as the goosebumps rose and the way he kissed the side of your neck. The bile was stuck in your throat as you were too scared to move. To say anything as his fingers played with the hem of your shirt. "I love you the way you should be loved." You were too scared to move.

A small yell caused you to snap out of your thoughts. You shook your head and got in the shower. You could feel the lingering touch of his fingers on your skin. The kisses he had placed on your neck, and you grabbed the rag and scrubbed your body. You scrubbed the places where you felt his touches until your skin was red. You scrubbed until it hurt. You hated this feeling as you knew it wasn't happening. It was all just memories; you were away from him but couldn't help but feel disgusted. As the warm water hits your skin, you let out a slight hiss from the irritation. You ignored it as you went on to wash your hair.

When you had finished showering, you changed and walked out. You could feel the tension in the air. Your eyes traveled to each one of them. Reid quietly looked through the book filled with Derek's things. Emily was no longer here, along with the other detective. Fran got up when she saw you; she moved past Desiree. "Let me warm you some food up." She didn't wait for an answer as she started to cook something quick.

"How are you feeling?" Sarah's eyes took me in as you neared the table.

"Tired." You told her as you pulled out a chair. "Just ready for this to all be over." You didn't have the energy in you at the moment. It seemed now that you were in the safety of his mom's house; it was drained out of you, and all you wanted to do was curl up in a ball. Sarah didn't push anymore, and Desiree placed a glass of water before you. You looked at it before looking up at her. She touched your shoulder and slightly nodded before moving to the couch. Fran placed a plate down, and you took in the scrambled eggs. The plate also had some toast, fruit, and cherry tomatoes cut in half. The smell of the eggs caused a cry of hunger from your stomach as you placed a hand over your stomach. Reid observed you. The way you lightly rubbed your stomach, a flash of emotion crossed your eyes. It seemed like you huddled in the sweater that was too big on you, which he assumed was Derek's. And then, when you took a bit of the egg and frowned, a hand covering your mouth, it all clicked in his mind.

"You're pregnant." Reid put down a photo he had in his hand. Your head snapped over to him so quickly you thought you pulled a muscle as you looked at him with wide eyes. "It explains why you were very emotional at the precinct." You could tell he was ready to list all the facts that made him assume why you were pregnant, so you stopped him before he could. You held a hand up and forced yourself to swallow the egg. The taste did cause a slight stir in your stomach, but you had refused to give in to the chances of throwing up.

"Reid," You gave him a slight glare. "If you open your mouth about this to anyone else, I will kill you and get away with it." Your threat was empty, but Reid knew better either way. He curled his lips in and gave you a nod.

"Got it," He placed a finger up to his lips. "I won't say a thing."

"Thank you." You sighed and looked back at the food in front of you. Your appetite was lost, but you knew that you had to eat. Willing yourself to keep eating, you silently listened to the small talk his sisters would engage with Reid. Derek's mom sat beside you, joining in and glancing at you, ensuring you were okay. It was clear that Derek's sisters were worried for you as well, but none of them wanted to push you, worried about how you would react. It was stressful, and they didn't want to add any more stress to you.

~~~~~~~~~

You gripped Derek's hoodie close to your chest. You waited outside for Hotch and Gideon but, at the same time, tried to avoid Derek's family. You knew they were worried when they had to wake you up, saying you had been crying in your sleep and calling out to stop. You could see the questioning look in their gaze that you were glad to have the call interrupt them. When you answered, and Hotch told you that Derek had escaped, your heart dropped. You were worried because this wouldn't look good on him, but before your worries could get out of hand, he told you that he knew where he was. Hotch also said he would need you to accompany them, and you got ready. The hoodie kept you warm, but you still felt cold as you pulled on a sweater. When the SUV pulled up, you didn't wait as you rushed over. You heard the door unlocked and jumped in the back seat. "Where is he?" You asked as Hotch sped off.

"At the youth center. We are meeting CPD there." You knew Derek went there a lot to visit the kids, but when you asked him about Carl– the man who helped him– you could see how he would push the pain that painted his eyes. There was something that Derek hadn't told you about that place, about his past, but you never pushed it. You always waited until he was ready to tell you, just like he told you about the little boy he found at 15. "He's going to need your support." It was a weight on your chest. You didn't like that Derek was taking on so much alone. You knew working at the BAU took a mental toll on him, but he never showed it. You felt the lump in your throat as you neared the youth center.

Just as Hotch pulled close, you didn't even wait for the car to stop as you jumped out. You stumbled out as you rushed through the front doors. Hotch and Gideon follow behind you as you hear Derek's voice. The pain it held only made you push towards him faster. "God, I was so afraid of you." A hand grabbed your arm, slowing you down as you tried to pull away. You looked over your shoulder, and Hotch shook his head. "I was afraid of the police, afraid of losing everything I was gaining, but that's how you work, isn't it." You could hear the resentment build up in his voice. "You make sure there's a hell of a lot to lose, don't you."

"I don't know whatcha think you remember." A new voice spoke up; you could only assume it was Carl.

"No, no, no. See, it's not what I remember that's gonna hurt you, Carl. Our business is over way too long ago to matter. You're protected by a statute of limitations; that's my fault." You knew you were being held back so that CPD could hear it themselves. Hear that this wasn't Derek's fault.

"Then good night." Carl didn't seem phased by whatever Derek was hinting at.

"You set me up." Hotch gave you a look as you frowned. You nodded and shook him off as he released his hold on you. "You knew Damien Walters wanted James to call me about you. So you killed him? You killed him because you knew I'd come after you, didn't you?" You close your eyes as you take in a shaky breath. You hated hearing the slight weaver in Derek's voice because you knew he was trying not to break.

"Now you're just talkin' crazy."

"God, I should have told somebody about you when I was a kid!" You heard him move as he raised his voice. "When you were helping me." You could hear the mocking tone in his voice. "Well, you know what happens in cases like this? Once that dam breaks, the flood comes. One kid steps up– just one– and then another one, and another because they're not scared of you anymore. They know they're not alone." You finally understood why Derek always looked slightly hateful when Carl was ever mentioned. His voice always had a slightly distasteful sound as he changed the topic. "James Barfield is your dam."

"Whatever lies James told you-" Carl raised his voice as he needed to defend himself.

"They're not lies!" Derek yelled. "You did the same thing to me!" The tears stung your eyes as you had to fight the urge to cry.

"I did nothing to you. To James."

"One by one. They're gonna pile up until there's so many accusations, you can't say that they're all lies."

"Do you have any idea how many kids I helped get out of this neighborhood?" Carl now stopped denying it. A conceited tone in his voice. "How many lives I've provided." You couldn't help the disgusted look that crossed your face as you let out a quiet scoff. That son of bitch sounded so full of himself. It was like he was on a high and mighty chair, and nothing would bring him down. "Look at you. You'd probably be dead by now."

"Yeah," Derek's voice broke. "Well, it wasn't for free, was it?"

"I pulled you out of the gutter," Carl said as if he was the reason why Derek was the man he was. Trying to take credit for all the good Derek has done as if it were his.

"I pulled myself out of the gutter, all the way to the FBI!" Derek raised his voice. "I did that!" You couldn't help the tears that slipped down your cheek.

"You sayin' I had nothin' to do with making you who you are?" Carl sounded angry as if Derek was denying him the credit he deserved.

"No, Carl," Derek's voice was calm, and you knew it was taking a lot for him not to lash out. To not break. "Actually, I'm saying you have everything to do with making me who I am. Because of you, I'm somebody who gets to spend the rest of his life making sure guys like you go down."

"Look, Derek, I never hurt you. You could have said no."

"You're under arrest, Carl."

"I've helped a lot of kids," Carl tried to defend himself. "The neighborhood won't be the same without me! It's gonna be worse without the center!" You could hear the cuffs being placed on him as you moved closer to the door. Your eyes landed on Derek's back.

"Somebody will keep this center running." Carl resisted the detectives. "The neighborhood will. I will." You understood why Hotch brought you here.

"Wait, wait!" Carl tried to pull his arms from behind him. "Derek, isn't there something you can do for me?" You narrowed your eyes on the man, astonished he had the audacity to demand something like that from Derek.

"You go to hell." You watched as Carl was pulled out. He walked past you, and you had to remind yourself not to lash out. You felt the need to give that man a bit of what was on your mind, but you didn't. And when Gordinski followed behind them, a small excuse me leaving his lips as he moved around you, your eyes landed on Derek's figure again. He turned around, and you saw the tears he held back as he looked at you and the two men behind you. He closed his eyes and clenched his jaw, not saying a word. You knew he didn't want anyone to see him like this; you didn't blame him.

"Derek," You said softly as you stepped towards him, cleaning the tears from your face. When he didn't respond, you called out for him again. "Derek." You reached out and grabbed his hands, balled into a fist. You moved to cup his cheeks. "Cariño, mírame (dear, look at me)" You spoke softly, trying to draw his attention to you. He opened his eyes slowly and looked down at you. You could see the pain in his eyes. "You are so strong and have every right to feel those emotions." His hand moved to your side. You pulled him closer, wrapping your arms around his neck as you hugged him. "I believe you, amor, (love) and I'm so sorry you had to deal with this alone." He took in a shaky breath as he held onto you tightly. "We will get through this together." You promised him softly as you kissed his temple.

"Together." He said softly and you could feel the way he shook as he cried quietly into your shoulder.

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