#am reminded as i write that i literally wrote fanfic about these things

[a-stitch-in-time-and-space]

kira's ongoing narrative in relation to cardassia and post-genocide complication of easy stories -- not, of course, that it was not genocide, but that some people she thought of as enemies were allies, and many people who were a part of the oppressing forces, were later, in turn, the victims of a mass attempted-genocide

and the idea that she, personally, cannot hate every individual cardassian, because she genuinely wants to build and heal and what that looks like, versus many (understandably) traumatised bajorans who are still and will always be at war

it's such a complicated, ongoing, twisty-turny storyline that returns again and again, with dukat, with garak, with ghemor, with damar, with ziyal, with rugal (although he and kira don't really interact, but in terms of the wider complexity of bajoran-cardassian interactions), with marritza (I've forgotten characters I know it -- there's natima as well, although I don't think she and kira interact?)

and then her ongoing narrative related to healing vs punishment vs power with -- yes li nalas and bareil, with winn and opaka (battle lines really is the first realisation I think of kira's needs and ongoing journey), with the people she was in the resistance with, some of whom are trying to create new lives some of whom cannot, ziyal again...

i also wonder about a stitch in time, and the knowledge that cardassia's rich, spiritual life was all but stamped out by a military dictatorship, and how kira would feel about this/whether she would feel a connection with the underground religious space that survived despite it

i think the reason it (mostly, let's not go into the storyline with her mother) works is that it's something her narrative returns to over and over, like a worried tooth, not necessarily in a single straight line, but via individual stories from many directions, with this understanding that she's at the centre of this massive change and she may have to take on a leadership position in order to facilitate and hold together bajoran ideals and culture and history and pain and hope through that, and bit by bit she grows into that role. and in some ways it doesn't come across as conscious, but it builds up slowly like drops accumulating, until there's a picture there

it's so so good, and imo the most complete/successful storyline given to a character in ds9 (I think nog-and-rom as a somewhat more intimate ongoing push-and-pull storyline, and also benjamin sisko on a macro spiritual level have a similar kind of thorough exploration, if different in focus, and also - to an extent - odo). my one big thing with kira's narrative is consistently how they handled ziyal, that is my personal biggest detractor. shocking because -- perhaps with benefit of hindsight, perhaps with a little less sexism idk -- there were so many ways they could have gone with ziyal, it seemed obvious while i was watching, and yet

[hochsleep]

Chapter 1: Just survive somehow

• Era: Season 1

• Warning: profanity, typical TWD violence.

• Summary: You and your little sister Lottie have to escape from the walkers in the forest. You both almost become lunch for the living dead, but suddenly you are rescued by a stranger, and thanks to persuasion you manage to get to his camp in the quarry. But it seems that the relationship between you does not work out. You will have to find an approach to him, because otherwise you will not survive.

• Word count: 4k

• A/N: Well, I've written...something. I actually have no idea how I'm going to combine this fanfic and the Daryl Dixon x OC fanfic on ao3 (there's a link in the pinned post on my profile page if you're interested), but I'm going to try. Yeah, I literally wrote in an introductory post a couple weeks ago that I wouldn't be writing big works on Tumblr and where are we now? I haven't been very consistent in what I've said. Anyways, posting the first chapter now.

I know it might be a bit boring in the beginning now, I'm not a big fan of the first episodes or chapters in series and books myself, but you have to start somewhere. I'm still just getting into the subject of Y/N fanfics, so I'll be learning as I write the work. What I can say now.

Please correct me in the comments if you find mistakes! Of course, I double-check my work before publishing, but something could still slip through. Especially since you, as an English-speaking audience, will be more attentive to turns of speech, slang and so on. Let me remind you that English is not my native language and I use a translator (you can read more about it in the attached post in my profile). So feel free to make corrections, I am always open to help and constructive criticism!

Oh, and also, congrats to everyone on the release of TWD: Daryl Dixons season 2!

Enjoy reading!

Then.

"Come on, Lottie, hurry up!" - you shouted to your little ten-year-old sister, who ran after you between the trees in the forest.

“Y/N!” a little girl shouted, following you but lagging behind every now and then.

A few walkers was getting closer, and it was like Lottie could barely move her legs. She had to run faster. She should have saved herself. But could you blame a ten-year-old girl? She’d had to lose her family and friends in the last few days, and there were the living dead walking the earth. The world has changed at the snap of a finger. Lottie probably still hoped it was just a bad dream.

You too.

You had to watch your neighbor across the street, Mrs. Faulkner, pounce on your mother and start biting chunks of skin off her neck without much effort. That's hardly realistic. But that's life now. All those radio warnings about a virus spreading in Europe turned out to be true. That it was incurable. That the dead will rise up and walk the earth again. That their bite would kill you and make you come back to life after a while. It all seemed so distant and unrealistic that you, like most Americans, just changed the channel on the TV or radio when you heard the news of the virus again. After all, there's been a lot of crap and "incurable" diseases throughout human history. If a plague in the Middle Ages couldn't kill the entire world's population, why would some disease do it in 2010 when medicine is booming almost everywhere in the world? Bullshit.

Where are you now? Running with your little sister through the woods while at least four walking corpses are chasing you? This whole thing really does feel like a cheap horror movie. Or a scary dream. A scary dream in a cheap horror movie.

“Lottie! You can’t stop!” you screamed while your little sister looked back and slowed down at every opportunity.

You had a hard time running yourself. Not that you’ve been a fanatic about physical activity in all the years of your life. Yoga and Pilates were your max and only on feel-good days. But the adrenaline in your blood was doing its thing and it allowed you to run faster and longer. Which was not the case with your sister. The girl was tired and breathing hard. She kept looking back to see how close the walkers were to the two of you, even though you had forbidden her to look back.

“Y/N, they’re close! They’re going to catch up with us!” shouted Lottie panting.

You started frantically looking around for a place to take cover. Apparently Lottie wouldn’t be able to run for much longer. You were breathing hard, too, and your legs were sore from the exertion. You had to hide. But where the hell could you hide in the middle of the woods? In the long run, you could hide behind a large tree, but the walkers had already spotted you and were following you, so that option was no longer viable. Climb a tree? You could if you knew how to climb trees. But even so, how long can you and Lottie stay in a tree? You’d have to come down sooner or later, and walkers don’t feel tired or weak, so you couldn’t expect them to give up and fall asleep at some point. No, they’re going to wait until the food comes down from the tree. And again, you can’t climb trees. But Lottie can. What are the chances she’ll agree to climb a tree while you distract the walkers? What’s the chance you’ll survive? How’s she gonna get back down and survive in the woods alone? She’s barely ten years old, for goodness sake, and she didn’t get out into the wild until the last few days! You're all she's got. She's all you have. So it’s just the two of you hiding and surviving together.

“Come on, sweetie, just a little more!” you grabbed your sister’s hand and dragged her forward.

Now.

“Carl! That’s not fair!” shouted Lottie as the boy stuffed the last five hazelnuts into his mouth and grinned cockily.

“It’s all fair, whoever got there first takes it all,” Carl said with his mouth full.

“I’ve just turned my back and you’ve already eaten it all! We’re out of nuts!” frowned Lottie.

“Daryl will find more when he goes hunting,” Carl only shrugged innocently.

“Then you’ll have to ask him yourself,” Lottie snorted and got up from the plaid she and Carl were sitting on.

Lottie approached Carol and Sophia, who were ironing clothes. Sophia’s father was a cruel man as far as Lottie could tell. He had forbidden his daughter from playing with the other two children at camp simply because he had decided to. And now the creepy man sat on a folding chair with a bottle of beer in his hand and strictly made sure Sophia stayed close to her mother and helped her with her “women's responsibilities” as he called it. It sucked.

“Hi, Sophia,” Lottie smiled at the girl, “and Mrs. Pelletier,” she nodded to Carol.

“Hello, honey,” Carol smiled gently at the girl. Sophia looked at her father warily and not noticing the vehement objection on his face, she smiled and nodded to Lottie.

“Carl ate all the nuts, but I brought you what I managed to salvage,” Lottie pulled a few hazelnuts out of the pocket of her jean shorts and held them out to her friend.

“Thank you,” Sophia said quietly and quickly tucked the nuts into her pocket while her father turned away.

“When can you play with me and Carl? Maybe tonight?” asked Lottie hopefully.

“Maybe tomorrow?” answered Carol for Sophia when she saw her head lowered frustratedly. “I’ll talk to Daddy, honey,” said the woman to her daughter, stroking her back.

“Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow then,” Lottie sighed and went on to find something else to do besides playing with Carl. She was still mad at him a little about the nuts.

You were on duty on the roof of Dale’s motorhome, a kindly older man who tried to change you every twenty minutes and told you to go get some rest. But the duty was actually a rest. You just sat on a folding chair on the roof of the car and watched the surroundings. Dale and Glenn were basically doing the same duties, only with a shotgun in hand. Just in case. You weren’t trusted with a shotgun. It didn’t make much sense since you couldn’t shoot. And you weren’t very good at close combat. So you just had to keep an eye on the area around the camp and warn them of possible danger. It’s no big deal. Except that the merciless Georgia sun was as hot as anywhere in Africa. It seemed that way to you, anyway. You were sweating in every part of your body, your hair sticking to the damp skin on your back, your clothes wet with sweat, and you were as tanned as if you’d gone to a tanning salon. The only thing that kept you warm was the powdered lemonade Dale had made, some old nature magazine from the glove compartment of Shane’s jeep, and the cowboy hat Andrea had lent you. Even though you've spent the last ten years of your life in Georgia, you've managed to hide from the heat until this day. Whether at home in your stepdad's garage under a fan while he blames his barely living car. Or at work in the supermarket by the house. There were old air conditioners that you thought were your age, but you didn't complain as long as they worked. Especially hot days you spent in a cozy old cafe from the 50's, where your mother worked as a waitress and let you lounge for hours in the coziest booth close to the fan. In general you had no need to sit under the sun in such hellish heat without a hint of shade. How could there be any shade on the roof of an old mobile home? You have to melt like a piece of butter on toast.

You heard someone climbing up the ladder to the roof. It definitely wasn't Dale, you'd have realized from his static grunts. It was Lottie. Her old pink cap appeared before you saw your sister.

“Hey,” you smiled at your little sister, “I thought you were hanging out with Carl and Sophia.”

“Carl’s a jerk today, and Sofia can’t play with us, her dad won’t let her,” the girl snorted and sat on your lap, because sitting on the sun-hot roof of the car wouldn’t be a good idea.

“Hey, I’d take a swear jar from you right now,” you tried to look at Lottie with a stern big sister look, but it never really worked. It looked ridiculous and hardly got any respect from the kid.

“Sorry,” the girl sighed, “but Carl is really behaving badly today. He ate the last of the nuts while I was distracted and didn’t even have a chance to protect them…”

“Are you really upset about the nuts?” you chuckled.

“No, more of an injustice…I was hoping we’d split the nuts fairly between the three of us, but Carl ruined it,” Lottie rested her head on your shoulder sitting on your lap.

It was so damn sweet. The way Lottie loves you. There’s often tension between sisters, but not in your family. Charlotte was born when you were 13 and that’s a really big difference, but you always wanted a brother or sister. And even though sometimes you had to miss seeing your friends to take care of Lottie when Mom and your stepfather, your little sister’s father, were working late, you still loved Charlotte with all your heart. Although it’s hard not to love her. She had a mild-mannered personality, rarely acted cranky, and sometimes acted like a little adult. At least you were a more rambunctious child at her age, according to your mother and other relatives. Only as you got older did you become a calm and peaceful person, and as a child you could afford to kick the asses of the boys who hurt you in junior high school. Charlotte, on the contrary, preferred to solve conflicts peacefully and disliked violence already at the age of ten. The age when children can be really violent, but your sister was not. Now, however, she seems to be really angry with Carl. But it’s probably because of all the stress you’ve both been under for the past three weeks. Everyone’s been on edge right now. That’s the way the world is now.

“I’ll find you some new nuts in the woods,” you said, stroking your sister’s soft hair.

“You’re afraid to go into the woods,” sighed Lottie.

“I’ll ask Glenn or Amy to come with me.”

“Wouldn’t it be better to ask Daryl? “Lottie looked at you in anticipation.

Oh, that’s right. Daryl. Well, that was a bit of a problem.

Then.

You tugged at Lottie’s arm, who was stumbling at almost every step. The walkers were coming faster and faster. Your courage and confidence were running away from you just as fast. But you did not let go of your sister’s hand and kept moving forward.

“Y/N!” the little girl’s shrill cry echoed throughout the forest.

You turned around and saw one of the walkers grab the hood of Lottie’s sweatshirt. A tall man with a rotten open wound near his collarbone, with gray cadaverous skin, white eyes, and rotten teeth and nails. Death itself came closer than ever to you and your sister. And you had no idea what to do.

“No! Let her go!” you screamed in panic at the walker as if he could understand you.

“Y/N!” large tears flowed down the little girl’s cheeks.

You closed your eyes, preparing for the worst. You knew it would happen sooner or later. From the moment your neighbor ate your mother. From the moment your stepfather John set himself up to feed the walkers two days ago so you and Lottie could escape. Since the world died. You knew you were going to die, too. And your ten-year-old sister, who didn’t have time to live. It has to happen, whether you’re ready or not. But you are ready. Death has taken over the world now, and who are you to fight it? You just hoped that you and Lottie wouldn’t have to suffer and…

With a dull thud, the arrow pierced the forehead of the walker that had grabbed Lottie and he finally fell to the ground dead. Lottie threw herself into your arms without thinking, wrapping her arms tightly around your waist and sobbing into your chest. You looked around in incomprehension until you saw a man with a crossbow. He put down the remaining three walkers with the remaining arrows. Clearly and without missing. Like he’d done it every day before the outbreak.

Man paused, looking at you and Lottie sobbing in your arms, and then without a word walked over to the corpses to pull his arrows from their skulls. Right now, however, you didn’t have the strength to say a few words. You didn’t have the strength to say a barely audible “thank you” for saving your life. The man looked at you, chewing his lower lip and without saying anything, lowered his head and walked away as if nothing had happened now. It would have been nice to stop him. But you were still standing still.

Now.

Daryl was sitting on a log outside his and Merle’s tent on the outskirts of the rest of the camp. He was cleaning squirrel blood off his arrows and hunting knife. Well, thanks to him, the camp wasn’t starving. Lottie and Sophia didn’t like eating something cute like squirrels, but there’s no choice. And while you weren’t thrilled about it either, better squirrels than the inedible berries you and Lottie had been poisoned with before you got to camp at the quarry. It was… unpleasant. You almost silently approached his “Dixon den,” as Shane called the tent of the brothers who preferred to stay away from the main group. But for an experienced hunter and tracker like Daryl, it wasn't hard to hear the branches crunching under your feet. Of course he noticed. Daryl turned toward you, where you froze for a moment between the bushes and snorted.

“What do you want, girl?” he asked, staring again at the dirty arrow in his hand..

“Hey,” you smiled shyly and moved a little closer, not noticing the vehement protest on his part. “Am I interrupting you?”

“If I tell you what you’re doing, will you leave?” Daryl didn’t look away from his work, still not looking at you.

“I don’t know…I guess?” you shrugged uncertainly. You didn’t want to annoy him, but you had promised something to your little sister. And yourself too.

“So what do you want? A chat? That’s not for me,” Daryl shook his head.

“I wanted to ask you for help to be honest,” you pursed your lips as you always did when you felt uncomfortable.

“Try it,?” Daryl finally lifted the piercing gaze of his gray-blue eyes to you and you felt even more uncomfortable.

“Take me with you on your next hunt,” you blurted out, deciding it wasn’t worth beating around the bush. Not with Daryl Dixon.

“No,” he answered immediately and went back to cleaning his weapon.

“Daryl, please,” you insisted. Not that you expected him to answer any differently. “I need to learn at least the basics of wilderness survival. You probably remember the state you found me and Lottie in in the woods…I can’t let that happen again.”

“Why? You’ve warmed up to a camp with people who can handle weapons. Just stay close to them,” Daryl snorted.

“I’m not stupid, Daryl, I realize this isn’t forever and sooner or later we’re all going to have to separate. When that happens, there’s no one to protect Lottie but me,” you sounded more determined than usual. Of course, it took a few days to pull myself together. “So I’m asking you to help me. Teach me how to track prey and how to tell poisonous plants from edible ones. Please.”

“Look, you’re sure of yourself, huh? Coming in here and making demands like I owe you,” Daryl was starting to get annoyed, it was obvious. He didn’t like the way you were being pushy, asking him for something like you had a right.

“I’m not making demands, I’m asking for help,” your confidence began to wane after his words. Daryl didn’t know you well. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t have had the nerve to call you cocky. Or just at least a little bit of confidence.

“I’ve already helped you out on my own head…I won’t do it again, you’re not a goddamn charity case here,” Daryl chuckled.

“Okay, then what do you want in return?” you asked firmly.

The question wasn’t about your curiosity about wildlife, your life and your little sister’s life depended on you. Your only family. This is not a case where you can afford to back down and give up.

“As if you have anything to offer,” snorted Daryl dismissively.

"What would you want?" you asked, hugging yourself tighter around your shoulders in a protective gesture.

Daryl's right. What the hell could you offer him? In this current world, money has no value. Not that you had a lot of it, but it was the first thing you thought of out of habit. Then what? Daryl is an excellent hunter who has all the necessary survival skills and is good with a gun. That's why you asked him for help and not anyone else. Shane could teach you how to shoot, which would undoubtedly be very useful in the current circumstances, but it's not enough to survive in the woods without a group. Not without someone like Daryl, who is as well adapted to life in the wilderness as you could tell from a week of knowing him.

Back to the question, what could you offer him? What would Daryl Dixon want?

"I want you to talk less and get back on your own," Daryl squinted looking at you for a few seconds and then lowered his head again. The conversation wasn't going well.

"Why did you save me and my sister in the forest? Why did you bring me here? We might live a little longer being in a group, but when this is all over, we're both going to be eaten, so why did you have to build up to this moment?"

Daryl was silent. Like that day a week ago before he brought you to camp. Really, why did he do that? He felt sorry for Lottie. A dirty little girl, messed up to death. You didn't look like you really tried to save her during the walker attack and Daryl wondered why. How scared were you? Didn't believe in your own strength? Did you want to die? He didn't know. But he knew for sure he wasn't going to let a child be eaten alive by a rotting reanimated corpse. Not in this world. Would Daryl have helped you if you were alone in the woods? He wasn't sure. You seemed resigned to your situation and didn't try to escape, so why would he rescue you?

He already did anyway. And dragged you both to the camp. And then that same night he had a fight with Shane, who wasn't sure about the idea of leaving you here. And he got a good laugh from Merle, who thought he was being too kind to someone in the Dixon family. But you don't need to know that. You're lucky it was Daryl and not Merle who came across you in the woods. You'd be wandering around the woods now, rotting from the inside out, wanting nothing more than to eat anything alive. Just like your sister.

"Your sister needed a place and I helped you, that's the whole story," Daryl only nodded his shoulder.

"Why?" you persisted.

"Damn it, girl, what are you babbling about! I helped you, who cares why?" Daryl frowned and abruptly stood up from his seat in a flash of anger.

"I just..." you cringed at his loud tone and backed away slightly.

"Stop bugging me with this, okay? I saved you and your little girl, that's it! That's all you're gonna get from me, you understand? I don't want to teach you anything, I don't need you, save yourself!" Daryl waved his hand, yelling at you and you didn't even realize why you pissed him off so easily.

You looked at him frowning in incomprehension. Why the hell is he yelling at you for no good reason? And looking so angry, like you'd done something terrible to him. You didn't understand Daryl Dixon and his mood swings. That's why you tried to stay away from him, especially the first couple days. You were grateful to him for saving you, but he didn't seem like someone you'd easily connect with. And Daryl had just proven that to you again. You only came to him with the request because no one else could handle it but him. But apparently he's really not interested in this at all. You didn't want to and couldn't force him. You just hoped that maybe, just maybe, he wasn't as rude and aloof as he seemed at first glance. After all, he wouldn't have saved you if he was the way he showed himself to others. You'd just have to find a way to approach him and then maybe something would work. But now you weren't so sure.

"Well?! Don't look at me like that, get out of here!" he shouted one last time, turning away from you.

You snorted disappointedly, and after staring at his back for a few seconds, you turned around and hurried back to camp. You were mad at Daryl, that was for sure. Just like Lottie was mad at Carl, but you had a better reason than a handful of nuts. And you might have wanted to yell back at him, but not that it made sense. You'd learned to control your negative emotions a long time ago, and you weren't about to let years of self-discipline go down the drain because of Daryl Dixon. That's on him. Maybe you'll try again later when you've both cooled down, but definitely not in the next few days.

Daryl was difficult, but you have to find an approach to him. Not for your own sake. Certainly not for him. For Lottie. For the chance to prolong her life as long as you could.

Then.

“Hey!” you followed the stranger after a few moments of daze.

You almost lost sight of him, but he wasn’t trying to be quiet, and you could still hear the sound of his footsteps on the leaves on the ground. So as soon as your body began to obey you again, you followed him, holding Lottie’s hand tightly in yours. The man didn’t stop no matter how many times you called out to him. How rude. But in the present world, one didn’t think much of it. And you didn’t know him, but he wasn’t exactly friendly before the end of the world. And yet, you stopped the man from grabbing his wrist when you caught up with him. He turned around and looked at you with a frown, immediately pulling his hand from your barely perceptible grip with force. You seemed to have hit something wrong.

“Thank you,” was the first thing you said when he finally paid attention to you.

“Forget it,” wheezed the man with the familiar Southern accent you never got in the ten years you’d lived in Georgia.

“What’s your name?” you persisted.

“Go where you’re going,” the man snorted and turned away again to walk away.

“I wasn’t going anywhere,” you said before he could get a few steps away from you and Lottie, “I…I mean we have nowhere else to go.”

The man stopped for a moment without turning around, as if thinking about something.

“Do you live somewhere? Somewhere with people? You’re the first person I’ve seen in a week…I mean of living people,” you stared at his back without stopping to speak.

Hope flared in you. If there are still people alive, then you and Lottie have a chance.

But the man didn’t answer, only turned to glance at you. Your tangled hair, tied back in a low ponytail, your dirty knit sweatshirt over your once-white T-shirt, your mid-thigh jean shorts that were also dirty and torn on the side of your left leg, your broken knees with blood on them, your worn and dirty yellow sneakers. He looked at the little girl next to you. She had big eyes like yours. And while yours looked at him with weariness and a mute request you still hadn’t spoken aloud, hers were full of fear. Her long hair, braided into two pigtails, was also disheveled, and twigs and dry leaves were sticking out of it from the fact that she had been on the ground under the walker that had tried to eat her. Her denim overalls were stained with the rotting blood of the living dead, and the hood of the sweatshirt she wore over the rest of her clothes was now torn off. There was only one rubber boot on the girl’s feet, the other having come off in the process of escaping from the walkers. The man thought it must be very uncomfortable to run around in rubber boots. The girl held your hand and appeared behind your back, gingerly looking at her savior.

“Y/N, I’m scared…” said Lottie quietly, pressing her cheek against your hand.

Y/N. The man mistook you for this girl’s mom. A very young mom. But it seems that wasn’t the case. Although the two of you had enough outward similarities to think you were related to each other.

“Do you have a place to stay? Please…we’ve been walking through the woods for three days without food or water,” you asked quietly.

The man looked at you with a piercing stare and was still silent. But he didn’t stay silent for long.

“Please,” Lottie said even more quietly, looking out at him from behind you. And then he gave up.

How could he refuse to help a little hungry girl in one rubber boot.

“Follow me,” he said, looking into your eyes for a second, and then turned and walked on, expecting the two of you to follow him.

Of course you both did. Now the hope in your heart is much brighter.

[davycoquette]

Questionnaire~

Thank you for the tag, @drchenquill!

1. Is writing a hobby or way of life?

I always call it a hobby, but almost always prefixed with some form of, "greatest," "most important," or "favorite." I think way of life fits a helluva lot better. I've been writing since I can remember.

2. A journal full of writing notes or a clean, completed manuscript?

The journal one. I have like 900 I'm actively writing in at this very moment.

3. Who (or what) is your writing inspiration?

Cormac McCarthy. The love I have for my shitty characters. The agonizing unignorable need to put words on paper or screen.

4.Which is worse: someone you "idolize" reading your first draft or listening to you sing?

The singing one. I am not ashamed of my writing, but I have been taught to be ashamed of my singing lmfao. Which is weird and dumb because singing isn't something I go around telling people I can do decently - I don't tell people, "Oh, I sing," or, "I'm a singer." So, I have nothing to prove on that front, yet... I don't think I could make a peep of noise if someone said, "Sing me a song." Meanwhile, even when my writing's not at it's best, I'm like, "Yeah, I'm a writer. Here's some shit I wrote that isn't good. Sometimes I write good stuff, though."

5. Has writing from someone else's POV ever changed your own perspective?

I mean... in the literal sense, sure. A story looks different from the eyes of a character. By the same token, it helps me "understand" when people make choices I've not personally made. I think, for this reason, it's important to write about characters with different belief systems than we have - to write about them as sympathetic people with complex emotions. Not just to villainize or cathartically punish them, but to explore why people do the things they do and what life events might drive them in that direction. But cathartic character murder has its time and place, and who am I suggest what others write? Y'all do y'all.

6. Tumblr, AO3, LiveJournal, or FFN?

I have not used LiveJournal since I was a teen - is it still a thing people use??? That sounds nostalgic and fun. Not sure what FFN is; something to do with fanfiction? I only write original fiction, so that rules it out if so. AO3 is very cool, but the interface isn't my favorite. Also fanfic-heavy, so I never know if I've got a place there. Tumblr always freaked me right the fuck out, but the Writeblr community has proven to be my favorite writing community I've discovered online. And in a very short timespan, I might add!

7. AO3 wordcount, and are you satisfied with it?

I do not use AO3 but wordcounts can never be high enough 😎

8. What movie/book/fic gripped you irrevocably?

Probably too many to count. Little House on the Prairie A Separate Peace The Road Fight Club (recently rewatching this was humbling because it showed me how much of my writerly personality seems to be inspired by the way it rearranged my brain chemicals) Bullet Train (I fucken love this movie) Lawn Dogs Box of Moonlight Harold and Maude (book & movie) Pride and Prejudice (book & movie)

9. What’s the highest compliment you’ve ever been given, and have you been given it?

I've received some absolute banger compliments, and I don't want to dismiss any in favor of others. My favorite compliments are often ...questions? Just things that let me know people really did read, absorb, and are interested in things I wrote. Also, my love language is when people think about me of their own volition. So, any time people come to me apropos of nothing or say "this reminds me of you/your characters/your writing, I giggle and kick my feet and do a lil' happy dance.

10. What defines your writing style?

Gritty, casual. If it was art, it'd be the kind with the sketchlines still visible. Deep, silly. Visceral, I hope.

Taglist and blank template under the cut!

@albatris

@capnmachete

@harmonic-melodii

@illarian-rambling

@michellekarnold

@nathaniel-zellos

@sableglass

@saturnine-saturneight

1. Is writing a hobby or way of life?

2. A journal full of writing notes or a clean, completed manuscript?

3. Who (or what) is your writing inspiration?

4.Which is worse: someone you "idolize" reading your first draft or listening to you sing?

5. Has writing from someone else's POV ever changed your own perspective?

6. Tumblr, AO3, LiveJournal, or FFN?

7. AO3 wordcount, and are you satisfied with it?

8. What movie/book/fic gripped you irrevocably?

9. What’s the highest compliment you’ve ever been given, and have you been given it?

10. What defines your writing style?

[amethystina]

Fanfic Tag Thingie

I am choosing to be tagged by @miss-ingno because this sounded like fun and I need an escape from the realisation that I am literally on the edge of burnout and my life is a mess. So here we go! :D

How many works do you have on AO3?

76

What's your total AO3 word count?

2 237 636

... and I have around 200k more just sitting in my WIP folders. I can't write short things x'D

What fandoms do you write for?

Right now it's mainly various Kdramas (The Devil Judge, Black Knight, plus my bold venture into Strangers From Hell) but, before that, it was mostly The Losers, Marvel, Pacific Rim, and Teen Wolf. With the occasional detour here and there.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Who Holds the Devil (The Devil Judge, Gahan) at 3 390

Tech Support (MCU, Winteriron) at 3 217

Autonomy (MCU, Winteriron) at 3 137

I Won't Hold My Breath (MCU, Winteriron) at 2 914

Conflict of Interest (MCU, Winteriron) at 2 173

It's honestly a little wild to me that Who Holds the Devil has somehow managed to race to the top despite the other fics being at least four years older (sometimes more). And for a much bigger fandom, at that. You guys are not fucking around.

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do! Every single one if I can, though it can sometimes take a while before I get to all of them. And I just can't help it, I guess? Partly because I want to show that I've read the comment and appreciate the time and effort that went into writing it, but also because it often gives me an opportunity to talk about my writing and the choices I made in the fic.

And, apparently, the fact that I reply to all comments has become a bit of a thing at least when it comes to Who Holds the Devil, where readers will search through my replies looking for tidbits and extra information about the fic, characters etc.

(you guys are so weird and so dedicated and I love all of you xD)

What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Grief (The Losers (Comics)). Because it is, predictably, about grief and how to keep living after someone you love has died. Though I would argue that the ending has a hint of hopefulness to it since it's also about moving on from said grief?

But yeah. Definitely that one since it's Major Character Death that I choose not to fix.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Literally every single fic except for the one above xD I LOVE my happy endings, okay? And it's kind of difficult to rank them since it depends a lot on the setting, characters, and the personal preference of the reader.

Heck, I even managed to give my Strangers From Hell fanfic a sugary sweet happy ending! That's dedication right there!

Do you get hate on fics?

Yeah, from time to time. I've gotten everything from childish insults calling me a bad writer to backhanded comments questioning my choices, writing style, grammar, spelling, dedication, intelligence, etc. I've even received more targeted, personal hate where people I thought I could trust were making fun of me behind my back in private chat rooms.

Most recently, though, it's less hate and more the "I simply must tell you that you're not writing this fic as I want you to write it" type of deal. Often paired with "It's my personal opinion and I have every right to express it." Which, fair enough. But that means I get to do the same, which I've noticed is something those kinds of commenters kind of hate. Especially when I point out that they've now made me a lot less keen to write the fanfic they're supposedly so fond of.

Turns out people don't like being reminded that their actions have consequences.

All in all, though, I've learned to just delete the comments I find too offensive or hateful.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Oh god no. Sex scenes are the bane of my existence and I spend the entire time writing them looking like this: ლ(ಥ益ಥლ)

I've been told I'm not bad at writing them (the ones in Until Death Do Us Unite were quite appreciated) but anything involving sex or sexual tension is just a nightmare for me. Even more so when it's supposed to be kinky or extra spicy.

So why is one of the main ships I write for right now clearly a Dom/sub ship, you ask?

Because I'm an idiot. That's why.

Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you've written?

I rarely do. The only crossover I've written is Resurrection where Derek Hale ends up in Purgatory together with Dean Winchester and they fight their way back to the world of the living (so Derek replaces Benny, basically).

I also have this one random fic (yet unposted) where Tony Stark and Eddie Brock are a couple (from the MCU and Venom movies, that is). But they're technically both in the Marvel universe so I'm not sure if that counts?

Long story short, crossovers aren't really my thing. I rarely write or read them.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of, no.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I have! Several, in fact, from various fandoms. Mostly into Russian, Spanish, or Mandarin. And I am honestly so flattered every time someone asks me if they can translate one of my fics 💜

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have not, no. I made plans to write a fic with a friend once, but we never got to the point of actually writing it. And, in all honesty, I think that might be just as well. I'm a perfectionist and writing a fic with me would probably be very exhausting for the other party xD

What's your all-time favourite ship?

I really don't know. Like, I'm tempted to say Jensen and Cougar from The Losers, or maybe Destiel or Stony, but I think that's partly founded in comfort and nostalgia. My ships change as I do and I really can't pinpoint an all-time favourite.

But CURRENT favourite? Definitely Kang Yo Han and Kim Ga On because they present such a wonderful challenge to someone like me, who loves to go real deep into character motivations, behaviour etc. They're a delight.

What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I'm not sure. I plan to finish all the ones I've started posting but there might be some in my folders that I'll decide to abandon if I truly can't revive my interest in them. But, usually, I can.

And, speaking of that, to all my MCU peeps (if there are any of you still out there): I know you've waited six years for the Tech Support sequel but it's finally been written and just needs to be edited. It's coming, my darlings. I promise.

Basically, when I say I'll do something, I will do it — even if it takes me six goddamn years, apparently x'D

What are your writing strengths?

Characters, tone, and emotions. I'm good at capturing the essence of the characters and write them in a way that feels believable and close to canon. I'm also really good at making people feel things with my writing, I've been told. According to testimonials, my readers can often see what's happening play out inside their heads like a movie, and feel the characters' emotions as they're living through them.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Aside from the aforementioned sex scenes? I think it's my inability to keep things short. I use a lot of unnecessary words and could definitely get better at being more concise. In a similar vein, I sometimes focus so much on the details with lengthy, wordy descriptions that I accidentally forget about the big picture, which is understandably confusing to my readers.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I've done it from time to time (since my man Cougar speaks Spanish) but I'm pretty careful with it. And if it's longer sentences I always make sure to double-check with a native speaker.

First fandom you wrote for?

Teen Wolf! Which, admittedly, was because I didn't care if I fucked it up x'D I enjoyed the first two seasons of Teen Wolf, make no mistake! But I chose it mainly because it wasn't the ship I was the most emotionally invested in and so I figured it wouldn't feel as bad if it turned out that I sucked. Luckily enough for me, I didn't xD

Favourite fic you've written?

Just like with the all-time favourite ship, I'm not sure if I can answer this one. Because I like all of my fics but in different ways.

I'll always have a fondness for that first huge Teen Wolf series I wrote, for example, and had a lot of fun with Autonomy because of the world-building. Same goes with Hyperborean. But Who Holds the Devil is definitely my favourite when it comes to character work. While Allies is my favourite when it comes to tone, since it ended up just the way I wanted it to. And Until Death Do Us Unite was an absolute BLAST because I got to write horror and some really weirdass shit, which I've never done before.

So, truly, I can't say. Each one I've written has something I cherish and while some definitely stand out more than others, I wouldn't be able to just pick one.

___

And that's that! I tag whoever wants to do it! :D

[enyaloveshifting]

Your desired reality is the real version (a reminder to myself).

Hi everyone! I am writing this as a message or reminder to myself, but maybe this will help other people in the same situation as me.

I have in total three desired realities, the first one is the most important and the main one, it is the dr I feel most connected with, and I always tell myself that if I had to choose only one dr I would choose that one without hesitation. The other two drs are also realities that I consider very important because they are part of me and I think I could not feel complete without those drs, so I decided to have three, each reality is about something I love and that is very important to me.

The first and the second dr are about two anime that I sincerely love with all my being, the third one mixes many things, tastes and personal preferences plus a mix of several different series and movies that I put together because I felt it had to be that way, I am a very intuitive person and when I do something it's because I feel it had to be that way.

Yesterday something "bad" happened to me regarding my second dr, I found out by chance, while reading fanfics and other things, that my s/o from that anime, had kissed someone, (in the manga I guess) I had watched that anime up to a certain point of the "plot" because the rest didn't interest me anymore and had nothing to do with my dr, so I discarded it, but finding out about this was like I had discovered an infidelity, you know? It was like a bucket of cold water, it hurt me, and even for a small moment I had the desire to abadonate that dr and stay alone with the first one, I wanted to leave everything, I doubted the shift, I felt very bad.

But as I spent many years learning and studying the law of assumption, and now non-dualism, I did not allow myself to have that negative mentality, because, what good does it do me to have those thoughts? By thinking like that I am not applying everything I learned for years, I am letting myself be carried away by the doubts and illusory thoughts of an "ego" that is also illusory. Currently, non-dualism is my philosophy of life and it has really helped me more than anything else.

So I changed my mentality and tried to see things from another perspective. What I "discovered" is not real, why should I feel so bad about it, it's just an anime, a TV series, it's something you see on a screen, it's not real, so I shouldn't be concerned or interested in the least. What is absolutely real, is my desired reality, my dr is something real that I am going to literally experience with all five senses, I am going to be there physically, that's what's real, you know? Think of it this way when something like this happens to you, that is not real! Your desired reality is the real version, you are going to experience it and live it for real like you are living this cr right now! We have to stop seeing what happens in this reality as the "canon" or real version, as if our drs were a fanfic, IT'S NOT LIKE THAT! IT'S THE OTHER WAY AROUND! that's just a TV show you see on a screen, your dr is something you are going to experience in person for real, besides we already know that infinite realities, infinite universes, so why worry? it may hurt at first to see something like that, because that's what you based your dr on, but remember that it's not important, it's not real. It's like if in this reality there is a TV series based on your current life, are you going to worry about what happens there? no, because you know it's not real. That's my point. It's exactly the same thing. I am going to be (actually I am already there, but you get the point) with my s/o, in person, physically with him, I know he is MY boyfriend, we love each other and have a soul connection (my s/o is the same in my three realities but with different appearances, just like I have different facial claims, I wrote that he does too, as having multiple s/o's didn't make me feel entirely comfortable, so this was the solution. As I said before, I felt that this was the way it should be). So by applying this way of thinking, I feel much better and it does not hurt me anymore, besides, as I mentioned before, I am applying non-dualism to my life, and since I am doing it, illusory things like negative thoughts or human emotions do not affect me anymore, and if they do affect me, it lasts very little.

I know that non dualism is not for everyone and I respect it, but it really helps me a lot, mainly to release all those negative things like attachments and obsession with desires, it makes me feel free, because letting go or detaching from a desire does not mean that it does not interest you anymore, it means that you already have everything because you are everything, there is nothing to "desire" because everything is already in you, you are pure consciousness and that is the only thing there is.

I know many go through things like this, like seeing their s/o with "others", so I hope this helps you as much as it did me and you see the truth. You can also look at it from a loa point of view, like people who are manifesting someone (they call it sp) and there is a "third person" in the middle, it's the same thing. I don't follow the law of assumption so much anymore, but you are supposed to persist no matter what and ignore the 3d, that's how this works. If we're going to let what we see affect us like that, we'll never get anywhere. We have to really apply these things if we want real results, if you really want to be with the people you love. I am going to permanently shift my drs and I am going to forget everything about what I shifted and my memories of this reality (not because I hate the cr or anything, quite the opposite, I am at peace with this reality and I have a peaceful life, I just know that's how it should be, I feel it in my soul, I know it's my destiny), so if I am going to forget everything, what's the point of worrying about nonsense like this? FOCUS ON WHAT'S IMPORTANT, that's a phrase that came to me today out of the blue when I needed it most and it really applies to all of this. Work on your mindset, it doesn't matter if you follow loa, non-dualism or just reality shifting, you have the power, master your mind and you will achieve anything you set your mind to.

Love, Enya.

[lynnthefrenchtoast]

Lines from "In The Other Universe" that I CANT GET OVER

in which a fanfic writer (me) overexplains her oneshot bc I NEED TO RAMBLE AND MY IRLS FOLLOW ME ON EVERY OTHER PLATFORM SO TUMBLR IS ALL! I! HAVE!

(u should prob read it first this wont make sense otherwise)

"Even though it was not his name, Yin Yu turned"

i dont know if this is a canon scene or not (sue me the books are LONG and hard to buy in my country) but i've read about yin yu getting mistaken for yizhen and getting totally upset. so i decided to start this fic with him being so okay with it that he responds to qi ying's name as if it's his own.

(also because if ur so close to someone, ur nosy abt their business because it also becomes your business) I WANTED TO CONVEY THAT CLOSENESS FROM THE VERY FIRST LINE

"Should I tell Yizhen you can't even recognize me?"

CANON YIN YU IS SO GLOOMY AND HONESTLY WE UNDERESTIMATE HIS POTENTIAL TO BE TEASY. i just know he could be. all hard workers have a sarcastic inner voice

"The man damn near shits his pants"

AHAHHA okay look. i have this tendency when writing to be REALLY PRETENTIOUS AND FANCY. and ive learnt that usually NO ONE GIVES TWO SHITS. compared to genshin, tgcf fanfics are so beautifully written and sometimes i gotta remind this fandom to SPEAK INFORMALLY (unless its qi rong. then. yea. BUT WHO READS QI RONG FICS?)

"The blank wrist that has never known the kiss of cold metal"

I RIPPED MY OWN HEART OUT WITH THIS ONE

"In this universe, he discovers it's such a simple thing to be happy."

proof that quanyin is literally hualian's cousin

the entire earring scene

i am a sucker for qyz's over-attachment to the earrings. ik a lot of ppl think he's like this because its the only thing yin yu ever gave him but NO headcanon that even in the other universe, yizhen would be overly attached because hes a puppy

he xuan scene

canonically, he xuan would NEVER. bc 1) he's too lost in his own ways to ask for advice and 2) it would fuck with his earth master disguise too much. but since it's the other universe!!!! I CAN DO WHAT I WANT.

“Yizhen’s victory is my victory,” he declares, with a tone that leaves no room for argument. “His loss is my loss. When Yizhen cries, I am sad. When Yizhen smiles at me, my heart is so full it could burst.” He brings two jade white palms together, interlocking the fingers like entangled limbs on a hot summer morning. “We’re like this. One shared past; one shared future. As a Shixiong, don’t you think rather than being jealous, I’m extremely proud of how far he’s come?”

my favourite freaking line can you tell? IT SHOWS THEIR ABILITY TO ROOT FOR ONE ANOTHER. SHOWS EMPATHY. SHOWS LOVE. ("my heart is so full it could burst") THE RECALL TO THE MORNING THEY WOKE UP TOGETHER, REMINDING YOU OF DOMESTICITY AND SIMPLICITY AND TRUST AND CLOSENESS.

ONE SHARED PAST; ONE SHARED FUTURE ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? this is all i ever wanted for them. to be able to grow together and live together and die together. TO HAVE A SHARED PAST, PRESENT AND FUTURE.

this line is also loaded to me bc i once wrote a fic called "entangled pasts; estranged future" that wasnt good enough to be posted but GOD IT REMINDS ME SO MUCH OF IT

"Here, he never needs to know the weight of a mask – neither physical not metaphorical."

i dont like how i worded this but IT NEEDED TO BE SAID. YIN YU NEVER NEEDS TO KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO WEAR THE WANING MOON MASK but more importantly NEVER NEEDS TO KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO WEAR A MASK TOWARDS QUAN YIZHEN. NEVER NEEDS TO HIDE RESENTMENT. im shaking with all they couldve been and didnt become.

"Here, Brocade and Immortal are just two words"

hear that? its the sound of me BANGING MY HEAD AGAINST THE WALL AAAAAA I SO DESPERATELY WANT THIS TO BE REAL i mean i understand if they werent so tragic i wouldnt love them as much but IT HURTS! (*100 teehee)

"Sure it will."

i actually hate myself why did i end it like that even in my fanfic i cant let them be happy. huh. i have to subtly hint that this isnt what happens.

its actually so upsetting that the whole fic is so nice and healing and all of it is just overcasted by this knowledge of "its not real. they never get to be this happy. what really happens is they resent each other and leave each other and they become one shared past; two estranged futures."

you can call me insane. im aware no one thinks this deeply about fanfiction and most people are on the site for smut. BUT I THOUGHT LONG AND HARD ABOUT IT SO YOURE FORCED TO LISTEN TO ME RAMBLE

[swaps55]

Warning, super long ask incoming! I suppose this is just a letter of fangirling in all honesty, and apologies if I accidentally already sent a half finished draft of this lol

I just wanted to let you know that I value your writing so much. I feel that I’ve fallen in love with Sam and Kaidan’s love, and that your writing is one of the best I’ve ever had the pleasure of reading, both within fanfiction and published works. Your writing is so compelling; the romance, the world building, the characterisation, everything! Every one of your characters feel like real people with patterns and behaviours that suit them and their motivations, they’re so believable and I love following them on their journeys. I think what I love most about your writing is that you’ve mastered show, don’t tell. When I’m reading any other fiction, I feel like I’m constantly searching for what you’ve portrayed in your work. You can really tell that you’ve put such love into Opus (and your other works, I’ve reread so many of the multiverse fics too), from the research of engineering and battle strategies, to bug behaviour even!

Essentially, I just needed you to know that someone out there is thinking of your writing daily. How incredible is it that this world that lives and breathes inside of your head, has now made a home in mine.

I also wanted to ask if you would ever consider publishing any original works in the future? I would read literally anything you wrote, your art holds a very special place in my heart now, I’ve even started learning the constellations and how to cross stitch because of you!

Thank you for your patience and I hope you have a lovely week ahead ☆♡

MAN, y'all are out to kill me with kindness.

You have no idea how much it means to hear this, especially right now. Back in March I hit a burnout wall running at full speed, and have been feeling some tremendous guilt over not making much progress on Mezzo the last few months. It's hard not to constantly fret that people will immediately assume I've abandoned the story and abandon it, too, and hearing this is a reminder that's not true.

I love this world and these characters, and it's the best thing ever that not only do others love them to, but they specifically love my versions of them. That's WILD. And amazing. You're so right about how incredible it is, so thank you so much.

As for original fic, years ago, I thought that's what I wanted to do, and I worked on some original projects. But here's the problem: I love sci-fi, I only want to write sci-fi...and I'm a terrible world builder. Give me a sandbox and I will happily build a castle, but I just don't have the right skillset to construct the sandbox.

That's why I've been so happy as a fanfic writer - I get a pre-built sandbox that I can go to town in and make whatever castle I want out of it. I have thought about trying to file the serial numbers off Cantata, but the world is such an integral part of that story that I wouldn't know how to do it and still have a story that means as much as Cantata does.

HOWEVER, never say never. I am not a world builder, but I married one. Real Life Romance Option is a phenomenal world builder, and a lot of his ideas can be found in Opus (you can thank him for the Can, for instance). He is happily building his own very cool sandbox, and it's entirely possible that one day I'll tell stories in it.

But Opus comes first! I still have Mezzo to finish, and two more stories to write to get Sam the happy ending he deserves, and I'm gonna do it, no matter how long it takes.

(Also, thank you in particular for calling out the bugs, because yes, I read a lot about bugs for Mezzo, haha!)

[decepti-thots]

fanfic writer ask game, if you've time/inclination...

✨️ Out of the comments you’ve received on your fics, what are two or three of your favorites?

🚦What sort of endings do you prefer to write: ambiguous, bad, happily ever after, etc.?

🎨 If someone were to make fanart of your work, what fic or scene would you hope to see?

The person who commented on my CDRW fic about their having the worst meet cute of all time like "this reminds me of how I met my partner :)" has to be the best comment I've ever gotten on a fic, ngl. I think of them often. I am also very fond of the person who replied to the kinktober taraprowl ficlet I did with uh. With the vivisection. Where they said. Let me get the quote. "I love that we can all agree prowl is eminently vivisectable." Literally I wrote that ficlet for that person and that person alone, despite not having previously known they existed.

I prefer to write at least slightly emotionally ambiguous and/or ambivalent endings, personally, because that's also what I like to read usually, and I find it very hard to make straightforwardly 'happy' endings feel earned. Fic is for self indulgence, and my personal brand of self indulgence goes in the following order: 1. The Emotional Uncertainty TM, 2. just really sad tbh, 3. happy endings. (I swear I dont' hate happy endings, it's not a bad third place.)

As for fanart, this is one of my favourite things ever and I am still so flattered about it hfgdhjg. But to pick another scene, the one in "saw fires from far away" with Mesothulas and the turbofox. TBH anything from that fic lol, in any guise, but I can see that specific scene in my head really clearly. ETA: oh actually, I would also kill for someone to draw any version of factory settings with CD, ostaros and prowl.

[greentrickster]

@johnconstantinesdick #👀👀 I didn’t know you were into rwby

In an absolutely wild twist, and for the sake of honesty... technically I'm not. Love a lot of the ideas and things (especially the early fights) in the first three seasons, never got past I think episode six of season one (twice (I did try)), have greatly enjoyed what I've seen of Chibi.

Like... I'm here because I crawled in through the garage window of hbomberguy's 'RWBY is Disappointing, Here's Why' video, watched a few more critiques, was unimpressed by what I heard about season four onwards, got reminded that Torchwick is so much fun, bumped into a cool idea, discovered that @elektricangel had written that idea very well in their The Divine Comedy duology, watched some AMVs, couldn't find much else focusing on Torchwick that really drew me, remembered the jack-o-lantern mythology I know, realized that, hey, all that actually fits really well with Torchwick, wrote a one shot around that involving him and Neo, went to make my escape back out the garage window, discovered that I'd accidentally lured @fullbattleregalia in here with me, who proceeded to buy and read Roman Holiday and also watch the first three seasons of RWBY and all of Chibi, and long story short the jack-o-lantern thing isn't a one-shot anymore and I've used a literal thirteen pens' worth of ink on the damn thing so far, along with a Word document containing 10k of notes for it, and I only started writing the danged thing July 23. The divine madness has consumed me, and canon dies and is reborn anew beneath my pen.

Which is to say, I'm here, I care deeply, I am writing sincerely, but also absolutely none of what I'm doing is in any way normal, but I'm not the one who left the garage window open for goblins like me to get in so really it's not my fault. >_>U

TL;DR: Yes, but only in the weirdest, most technical sense possible, because my ability to wander into a fandom and integrate without more than the absolute barest contact with the source material is second to none. Also, I cannot stress enough that I'm not here to ruin anyone's time or anything, I'm just Extremely Weird. I did a very similar thing with Scum Villain's Self-Saving System, and it's one of my favorite fandoms now. Watched a couple episodes of the donghua, never read any of the books, literally cannot get enough fanfics of these idiot men, hamster supremacy.

Also, love the Jack Zimmerman icon, very spiffy!

[lukas-clost]

Guys, guys, guys! Holy shit, you guys!

I think I just wrote the most amazing thing I have ever written in like, ever. Like, omg, I am gushing and squealing and giggling over this little thing that I have written, like, I am filled with so much love and adoration and pride over this thing that I have written, like, I am kicking my legs and smiling so much and thinking only about this thing that I have written, like, I have shamelessly re-read it so many times because I am that in love with the thing that I have written, oh my gosh!

And I really really really want to share it cause it's got me so happy and I want it to make other people happy - or feel something - too! I'm not supposed to, it's supposedly spoilers for the fanfic that I'm writing, but honestly? Fuck that! By the time I post the chapter that it's related to, this'll hopefully be lost somewhere in my blog, so here it is! :D

Warnings for swearing and suggestive thoughts

Underswap Papyrus/OC for context

Fuck

Papyrus had always hated ceremonies and long procedures with even longer speeches. He hated having to sit and wait to get his PhD, he hated having to sit through thirty something people making the same pledge over and over again to support Alphys and his bro. He understood it was a necessary formality, but he had sworn, after taking pictures with Sans after the whole thing, that he would never go to a ceremony again. Especially if it involved the police.

And yet, when Kate asked him if he would come, when she invited him to her own ceremony, he found that he couldn't say no.

Sitting on the plastic chairs in the chill of December as they waited for the function to begin, reminded him why he hated these things again. And then the recruits came on and his eye lights whizzed across the stage in search of her. He watched her light up when she saw his little group and he sent her a wink in greeting. She could only smile in response, but it was enough to warm his bones.

He would have loved if they had sat closer to the front, but those seats were reserved for actual officers, and he may have been a bit late. Only to avoid the wait time though. Then the pledges started and he was reminded of why he didn't like these things again.

By the time it was Kate's turn—she was literally the last one, good grief—Pap was just about ready to leave, but then she took her pledge and a smile grew on his face. She was officially a cop and he felt kinda proud of her. When it was finally over, Undyne coaxed him from his seat to get to Sans and the others. Kate didn't take her time to get to them either.

As she neared, excited grin on her face, new badge gripped in her hand and uniform hugging her body, all he could think of was how good she looked. And not in the cool way his brother looked wearing the same uniform, or how Alphys managed to make herself look scary in the issued navy blue, but different. She looked good good. Hot.

Fuck.

Thank goodness he stuffed his pockets with lollipops, or he might be caught shaking like a leaf. Alphys was the first to get to her with a congratulatory noogie. She didn't protest, too giddy to. Undyne stopped her from falling, with her own congratulations in mind. Flynn came over with treats from Muffet—he didn't understand why she hadn't given them to him. He had literally been there that morning lamenting the fact that he had to go. He bit his lollipop; not enough to break it, but enough to abate his annoyance.

His bro was next, spinning her in an excited hug. She was smiling and giggling and maybe if he didn't have a lolly in his mouth, his own smile would have been more apparent.

Someone commented how she looked good and he bit his lollipop harder; he would have loved to be the one to say that. She spun around to a chorus of whistles from Alphys and Undyne. He couldn't help but notice the cuffs hanging from her belt and wondered if she knew how to use them.

Fuck.

He scratched at his chest and got out a new lolly—the other one was just about done anyway—and then she turned to him, with her imploring brown eyes and her soft smile and-

"Pap?" It was cold. It made sense to shiver, right?

"What do you think?"

What did he think? What did he think? He could barely think at all right now, if he was being honest. If he was being really honest, he was thinking about a lot of things right now. Like why Muffet chose Flynn to deliver her treats, why he hadn't shown up a little earlier so he could sit closer to the front, why she looked so damn good in that uniform of hers.

Fuck.

He scratched at his chest again and shrugged. "Congrats, Kate."

Geez, is that really all he could say? He wished he hadn't shown up, if only to avoid the fall in her expression at his words. Leave it to him to come up with the single most bland response known to mankind. Gaw, he couldn't say what he was actually thinking out loud. At least, not with the otakus and his brother right next to him. Not with her right there.

"That's officer Kate to you." Yeah, no. He would enjoy saying that too much.

"Uh oh, you gonna arrest me?" Joke, tease, anything to light her up again.

She snorted—success—before waving his remark off with her hand. He caught a whiff of her perfume—sweet, mellow, familiar. He could melt surrounded by that scent.

Focus! Geez, he's in public.

"Nah. That's reserved for actual criminals. Unless..." Her stance became less amused and more suggestive? He did not like where this was going. He shifted on his feet. "Have you been a naughty boy, Papyrus?"

Fuck!

Puns, he could tolerate, her poor attempt at jokes, he could entertain. Hell, he appreciated a well timed 'that's what she said,' but this? Sexual innuendos dressed in that damn all uniform. With her braids—they were done really well; he had to say something about that later—tied in a low ponytail and the cuffs glinting by her side. Did she even know? Did she even mean it (he really hoped that she did)? And what the fuck was up with her expression? It took everything within him not to turn around and let her lock him up. Oh, he would like that. He would like that a lot.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck.

He bit through his lollipop and he didn't miss the amused looks on Undyne and his bro's faces, but it was Alphys—of all people—who was his saving grace. She said something about getting smashed at her place to celebrate not being able to do that again and Kate's attention—and that damned expression—was gratefully shifted.

He could go for a couple drinks himself, if he was being honest.

If he was being really honest, the only thing he wanted to get smashed by right now was Kate.

Fuck!

[smaeemo]

Order of events:

Had a freak out about the dentist

Opened ao3 and went “ACK” when I was jump scared by destiel fanfic

Went onto tiktok and watched like 10 Nara Smith videos

Kind of paid attention to this family guy episode

Now Im just chilling

#self care (?)

Sometimes I wonder if I could magically become an animated character and just jump into the tv. Ok thats such a lie, I totally have not imagined that until right now, but now I have a new thing to imagine. You know, like when you pay too much attention to the subtitles on accident, forget how to read, get really caught up in the fact that actors exist, you know that kinda stuff. But this one has like potential incentives. I almost just typed “potential inc*st” and I was giggling about it for like a nanosecond before I was like “Oh boy” and then changed it. Also, how tf do you censor stuff, like F*ck, F**k, F***, etc. Are there rules or is it like personal preference?? Ah, I just thought too much about words and like totally freaked out because I was like “How the f**k(?) do you spell thought” and then I just had a moment of reflection. Sitting alone in an apartment in a lawn chair watching family guy is peak brainrot. Honestly? I think brainrot is what makes life so interesting yk? Like how else will I stop the OCD? Therapy? Psshh (Jk im in therapy) (But you get the point). One time I had an interview with a new therapist and she was like “So what are your coping mechanisms?” and I sat there for like 2 minutes and just said “Family guy, sims 4, and Tumblr” and I will remember that moment forever because all she said was “better than drugs” and then I did not see her again. What a time to be alive. To be fair, I was in middle school. That’s not to say those coping mechanisms aren’t still alive and healthy, I have just added more to the bank (worse and better) (lol) (not lol) and I would not tell another therapist that because I found my embarassment somewhere along the way. Honestly? The best coping mechanisms I have found work, are like literally writing all of my bullsh*t (did I do it right?) thoughts onto paper, notes, google docs, or like tumblr (lol) and then I just sit here and stew in em for a bit. Poetry never worked for me, so like if you open up my “poetry journal” all you’d really find in there is just like “Today I had a panic attack, now I found that I am so scared of mountain lions” and then it ends in like “All in all, I am glady nickname isn’t marv,” Then after I write all of it, I’m like violently reality checked and just like “why am I on the floor, on tumblr, and crying” and then I get back up and watch family guy. Sometimes I just pretend Im doing a vlog and just start talking to myself. It’s like super embarassing to be caught “vlogging alone” because then you have to explain yourself and it always ends in either “omg yeah I do that too!” or “… anyways,” Oh god. I HATE ROSS GELLER. Sorry that just reminded me of that scene where Pheobe was sharing her horrifying trauma and it gets all quiet and R*ss (hahah) just goes “I think the word you are looking for is… anyways” and then proceeds to divert the attention. Also, everything about him PEEVES me. I’ve been rewatching friends as like an actual human being vs like a child, and oh my god. This is an EXPERIENCE. I would talk more about it, but like the music Im listening to just got so “vibey” that I need to listen to it and just process that I wrote an entire tumblr post that I will 100% forget about and then regret in like 20 min. But yk, gotta keep up the grind.

XOXO,

Leenya Green

[bharv]

hiiiiiii i come bearing asks:

💞what's the most important part of a story for you? the plot, the characters, the worldbuilding, the technical stuff (grammar etc), the figurative language

💥find your least kudos'd fic - say something wonderful about it.

🧿what steps do you take to not take things personally if a fic doesn't do well, or if your writing/posting/sharing experience isn't going how you'd like it to?

💞 I would say the most important thing is character, followed by language. I enjoy playing with perspectives and putting people in character-expanding situations.

💥 Once You Meet Her is my least kudos’d fic and fair enough because it’s a ff7 songfic from over twenty years ago - but I wrote this when I wasn’t even ten years old! It stands up for something written by a literal child! Lmao. I put it on Ao3 with the remake because it was my first fanfic and there’s something quite sweet about that.

🧿 I sulk lmao. I don’t know. I think I don’t expect to have a wide reach with my work, it’s quite niche. I do tend to post before bed though, so I can go rest and wake up to a fresh set of eyes on it. As with all my work, I try and always remind myself that I am doing this for my own gratification at the end of the day, nobody owes me anything, if they like it that’s lovely but it’s on me to be proud of my own work.

[tenpintsof-sundrop]

hii! i know you probably don’t want to here about this any longer, so I’ll try keep my message short it probably won’t be short..

fanfic writers should be able to create whatever kind of story they want to and should be able to post it without getting criticized or constantly being demanded for more or for smut or for ‘better’ or wtv tf.

you’re doing a great job and i love all of your works so much 💗 you truly are a god at writing any genre wether it be angst, fluff, or smut, it’s just all really amazing and you put a lot of thought and effort into it. i’ve only read the first 2 chapters of your recent series, and so far it is sooo good! it’s got me hooked and i can’t wait to read more when i have the time. i just love dad!spence 😭

you do not owe anyone anything, the right people will find you and support you and some of those people already have. it’s upsetting to see that those mean people have gotten to you..

don’t feel pressured to write smut for a certain fic if that’s not what your feeling just because it’s what other people want. it’s your story, you are allowed to take it in whatever direction you want. this fandom can be a little bit much (a lot bit much) at times..

if you never write for CM ever again, i totally understand, but just so y’know i think you are the literal best at characterizing all the characters so accurately, and that goes for every character you’ve wrote for not just CM ones.

sorry if this all just sounds like gibberish to you, it’s really late where i am, i forgot half of what i wanted to say, and i’m not the best with words 😭 anyways.. i hope you have a wonderful day/night Sunny! take care 🫶

thank you so much for this really kind message! it does mean a lot to me that if I receive a few negative messages, there is an outpouring of support and love - sometimes even if there is bad, the good people can outweigh it and really remind me why I started posting fics in the first place <3

I don't know if I will ever write for CM again - after I wrote Burn The Witch in 2021, I swore off writing for Criminal Minds completely, but then I watched the show again and fanfic ideas started crawling around inside my brain and I could help it. so it might be one of those things where I tell myself that I am never going to write for CM ever again, but then - I just can't help what kind of ideas my brain leads me too. But I do know for certain that I am going to need a very long, extended break from the fandom.

anyway - thank you so much for your kind words <3 messages like this really do mean a lot to me and I am thankful that you have taken the time to write me a message like this. I will look back on this when I'm feeling down

[bandedbulbussnarfblat]

Your post about Daniel's LinkedIn page reminds me of a theory I had awhile back. I think Daniel wrote a "fiction" novel called The Devil's Minion back in the day, but he never got it published. He'll be reminded of it in s2 and as he's reading the old manuscript, we'll see the story onscreen

oh, that would actually be pretty cool. like we know daniel never finished the book he was writing in 85, from that one trailer. the part where they mention alice and daniel says something about never finishing the book and leaving without paying the bill. that could have been the book he was writing! i mean, probably a straight (and maybe even white) washed version of it, since it was 80s. and daniel seems to struggle with his sexuality. unless he was writing under a pseudonym, which is what he did when he wrote iwtv in the books. and

(also book lestat used a pseudonym to write his books. do you think he used daniel's pseudonym, and has basically been plagiarizing him this entire time? or did he publish under a different pen name and publish what was technically fanfic of daniel's iwtv? you don't have to answer that. i just wonder these things)

but yeah, that could have been what he was writing. maybe he meant to publish it as a sort of goodbye, or as a romantic gesture toward Armand (maybe trying to win him back? perhaps armand is tired of sharing daniel with his family? or maybe armand left him so he could have his family, but he didn't take his memories?)

then alice tells him she's pregnant. daniel realizes he can't leave her now. one kid she could manage by herself, but not two. bc it's the 80's and even though the EPA was passed in 63 it wasn't exactly strictly adhered to, and there's still that wage penalty for motherhood thing going on, and while maternity leave was given, it could still get given unpaid or underpayed. it all depended on where you worked. we didn't get fmla until 93. daniel could literally be leaving his wife and children for at least 6-12 weeks. even at 6 weeks, or hell, maybe she got those weird mom hormones and liked hulked it out and only took 4 weeks. That's still a month with no income, so the only she'd have is what's left in her and daniel's joint account, bc that's a goddamn crazy thing that married couple's do, like to this day. and daniel is drug addict, that bank account is probably in the red. and alice is probably smart if daniel falls for her, in the books his two relationships are armand and marius. armand is extremely clever. but also a manipulative bastard. marius is basically a fucking philosopher. and also a manipulative bastard. so my theory is alice is also probably smart, and at least a little bit of a bastard. so that girl definitely has a run fund.

(let me explain the run fund thing to y'all that is too young to have heard about this. when you get to a certain age--it differs depending how far down south you are--your momma pulls you aside and tells you that you need a run fund. she may not call it that, there are different names for it, or she may try to phrase it more delicately so you don't think this is just about your father, bc it applies to all men. (and if you're mom is progressive, she'll say something like, 'or maybe a woman if that's how you turn out') i am from the south. i am telling the southern tale of this, where most of us are brought up baptist, so we're supposed to not think lustful thoughts, but at the same time, there's kinda this assumption that girls are like naturally chaste. like girls don't watch porn, girls don't masturbate, girls can enjoy sex, but never desire it. at the same time there are those women. whores, sluts, hoes, bad women. and their was a tight fucking line you had to walk to prevent yourself from being one of them. you know, typical virgin/whore complex shit. anyway i think i was around 16ish when my mom told me. it's your emergency stash of money you have hid away somewhere, something secret that he (or she) doesn't know about it. it's your 'get the fuck out money'. it's your 'if something happens' money. and your momma ain't gotta tell you what if something happens means, because you already know; it's if he hits you, if he hits the kids, if he forces you into it, if he touches you like that without your permission, if he touches one of the kids like that. it's your grab the kids and go money. if you're lucky it'll get you back to family or friends who can take you in. or maybe you have enough to shack up at some cheap motel for awhile. but don't sign anything with his name, use your maiden name if you can get away with it, and never ever use any of the checks or cards with his name on it, use your cash. only your cash. take the first job you can find, no matter how shitty. but always look for something better. leave the kids with whoever you can find to keep them, and then you just keep going til you find something better and you find something better and then one day finally you can fucking breathe and you realize that you're okay that got really long and over winded but i am, so fucking high rn.

anyway, what i'm saying is alice could have reasonably had enough money to float by a month or two hidden away, but daniel wouldn't know about it anyway. so from his point of view he'd be leaving his kids with zero income for at least a month. so he couldn't be a dick and do that, he'd have to stay until at least she could go back to work.

but of course he could always leave before she has the baby, like as soon as he fucking finds out. but there's a 50/50 chance she's on his insurance because sometimes it's better to be on your spouses insurance than use your own. so he could hypothetically leave his pregnant wife without access to medical care.

maybe he decides to try to 'do the right thing' and stay with alice until she's able to make it by herself. hell, maybe he decides to stay long term bc he decides he wants to be a good father and not abandon his kids.

or he does the easy thing and is like, 'armand, babe, could we send them money? i'd feel really bad about leaving them if we didn't' and then makes puppy eyes at armand, or something more x-rated if you're nasty.

and armand is either going to erase his memory 'for his own good' so he can go live a normal human life. or daniel is going to try to call things off for good, and armand knows he won't be able to give up what they have, so his erases his memories so he can go live his mortal life, but he's like, super bitter about it. or worse option, daniel could ask armand to wipe his memories of them so he can move on.

god, i have been rambling so much. i have strayed far from the original point into what seem like random tangents, but i promise on link together in a beautiful spiderweb in brain. like that silvery stuff in that one windows loading screen or screen saver or something. i think this may be back from the windows xp days.

but my point is i really like your theory. and kinda want write fic about it one day, far away (but only with your permission of course)

[fran-in-the-deep]

Okay so, I need to get this out somewhere eventually and since this has turned out to be my writing blog, I'll just leave it here.

Clickbait Title: How I defeated my inner self doubt and have now written over 430.000 words in a year | extreme edition

Actual Summary: Me whining about how writing made me miserable, then I started writing fanfic, now have a very healthy and joy-filled relationship to writing. That writing can be fun and meaningful and I wish more people got to this point, whatever they enjoy writing, because it makes me genuinely sad to see so many writers beating themselves up over something that can be so fulfilling. And I don't mean the struggles of the writing and editing process but the constant existential justification that writers seem to have to perform. It's okay to just exist for a while.

I am one of those people who have been writing all their life and their life goal was writing a novel, publishing, becoming an author and all that. Make art, make something meaningful. I wanted to study creative writing, become an editor, the whole package.

I was also a dinosaur kind and wanted to become an Archaeologist, because nobody told me that it's actually Palaeontologists who research dinosaurs. Looking back I wish I would have stuck to this so it wouldn't take me however many years to figure out I now want to go back to it, though in a different capacity.

That is because writing was a chore, it was painful, it made me incredibly miserable. Yet it was the only thing I was good at, big fish in a small pond, small schools in rural area style. But it was always this constant perfectionism, so much pressure, so much disappointment. I have more bad memories of writing than good ones when I admit the crumbs of euphoria it sometimes caused kept me going.

Like, I hated it. The constant self doubt, knowing that I would never be good enough, that I couldn't write anything meaningful, that I just couldn't stop. I didn't even enjoy the stories I wrote myself or the feedback that I got, because as long as I wasn't publish, had really made an impact, it didn't matter anyways.

So where does this lead? That exactly a year ago I said fuck it, I don't care anymore. Fuck everyone and their high art and aspirations and having meaning and perfectionism and self doubt, just leave me alone. And I stopped writing.

For a month. And then I picked up AoT again, despite all the controversies and with no expectations and I ended up getting really invested. I started writing fanfic for it because I felt like it. I wrote by myself, for myself, no pressure and somehow ended up writing literally every free minute. You know, like Terry Pratchett did. Because it was just so, so much fun. I didn't know that writing could be so much fun.

So I wrote over 430.000 words of "bad fanfic" in a year. It was supposed to be bad, and stylistically it very much is, but even then I have fun re-reading it, because for once I'm the target audience. Because it only matters to me and that's what makes it great. And while I'm low key prouf of that number, it's not about productivity here. I haven't produced anything of merit for anyone else, and due to hospital stays and my life screeching to a halt I've had an awful lot of time to write.

Since then I've stayed out of most writing related forums because they remind me too much of how miserable I was and I just want to tell everyone in there, that they're allowed to have fun. That you can write literally whatever you want and that publishing, be it traditional or self-publishing isn't the thing that gives it meaning. You don't have to be read by a million people or make an cultural impact for your work to have meaning. I've hosted writing groups when I was in the hospital with some other patients a lot of the time now, and nothing of that will ever "matter" in the grand scheme of things but it mattered that we had a good couple hours together and they have something to remind them of that. The random funny short stories I come up for my friends with matter. My own enjoyment matters.

And it's not that I don't get it, I very much do and people are different, some kinds of writing are just not for me and that's okay. But it makes me somewhat sad seeing so many people beating themselves up about something that can be so much fun because of the mental image they have of what they have to do, of having to reach some form of grandeur so their pain was worth it, to justify their existence on this world. And for some people that works, but I'm not one of them and I hate seeing people sad, so I just want to wrap everyone in a blanket and tell them that it's okay to just exist for a while. Indulge in what you made, what you can do.

After that year I'm at the point where I felt like actually sharing what I write now, because I am petty and there isn't enough Hange fluff out there that's solely focused on them, and I can write, so I'm gonna be the change I want to see and fill that niche. (To all the other Hange writers, see you and appreciate you). And if I want to write about Levi, I just do that. Because I can, because it's fun, because I'm not owing anyone a product you pay money for. I still try my best to write a decent story, but I don't despair over it.

I don't mean to shame or blame anyone who thinks differently, if you told me that a year ago I wouldn't have taken it seriously. And there have just been many life incidents that changed my general outlook on life and whatever. Being in your early twenties is an absolute mess and things get simultaneously better and worse all the time. I've been hitting rock bottom so often all the time, especially the past half year, and writing fanfic has gotten me through it. My life might be objectively bad a lot of the time, but at least I have a good relationship to writing now. I can have fun. So that means a lot to me.

[sailoryooons]

hali hey! about fanfic asks (my answers) i haven't read all of your works but i have read some of them, sorry!

1- i'm a big yoongi biased but i was impressed by Drabble The Store, i was so intrigued by the open ending! What did they do? Did they kill Hoseok? Did they become friends? And if they did, did anyone get suspicious? Were they caught? Did they kill each other? I loved it. And my favorite series is Mixtape, besides being the first work of yours that I've read, I really liked the character development, both of the main character and yoongi.

2- Okay, but the first chapter of GOTD is precious. I don't read much fantasy, but girl, what was that?

5- I haven't read anything related to Seokjin, Tae and Jungkook yet, but I promise I will soon when I have time.

9-GOTD AND I NEED TO EXPLAIN WHY? And obsidian… I need to know more about this man.

11- I really wanted you to explore The Store, but not necessarily the story if you don't want to. I loved the writing of this drabble, the fact that it's a serial killer made me love it even more because I love true crime and I miss finding a fic with this kind of plot.

12- I'm obsessed with Yoongi from Obsidian.

13- I always talk not only about your fics but about the fics of everyone I follow in general, moni's, mari's etc. to my psychologist. I don't know why I like to give her this information. When she asks me what I've been doing that's interesting since my last appointment, I tell her that I've been reading fics, and then I talk about all the fics and how they've affected me or reminded me of something from my childhood.

14- GOTD

15- When are you going to update Obsidian? LOL 😁 just kidding, I won't put that pressure on you 💗

-lilshy

HELLO HELLO OKAY I AM SHOWERED AND READY FOR THIS

1 The Store was SO much fun to write and it really made me want to write something similar but full out in like a mini-series or full series next year, maybe. Not specifically for those two characters, but the same concept of like - what happens when two serial killers meet? Everyone can make up their own ending and I love hearing the different versions, I think in my perfect ending, they probably carry out the murder together and like revel in the fact that they have found someone who shares an interest so dark. I think eventually it would lead to competition and disaster though!!

AHHH Mixtape. That story is so close to my heart because it was the first thing I really wrote and posted on here and ahhhhh it is so good. The friendships in that are my favorite part, and of course, our very honest and communicative, Naruto-sleeve having Yoongi. That story really is dear to me so I am so glad that you like it.

2 I literally do not know. I originally started that idea as being inspired by the song Lilith but then I was like what if ... he's not a dark god or demon at all, what if he's the god of dreams and desires misconstrued as something dark because he rules over the night, nightmares and so often people equate sin and desire, sort of like reader's parents wanting her to be married/thinking she is like full of sin for wanting to be free! That one really really spoke to me as I wrote it and as I write chapter two, I'm sort of amazed by the direction that story steers me in. I don't really have an outline - that's one that just sort of goes where it needs to go as I write it.

5 Honestly it's sort of criminal of me, but I do not have a ton of content for Taehyung and Jungkook. I have an okay amount for Seokjin, though I do want to write more of him in the future, but Taehyung and Jungkook desperately need more fics added to their sections on my masterlist. It's part of why I started my series Lights to get some content for Jungkook on there.

9 I am writing both of those in tandem and it's hard but it's also fun. This chapter of Obsidian is VERY VERY action packed. As a secret, I can tell you that reader gets sent to do a very dangerous job for Jimin that puts her in a bad spot, and she might need to call that number that Yoongi gave her!

11 I actually want to explore this more. I really enjoyed psychological thrillers and I love the aspect of writing from morally grey characters who do not remotely think or behave the way that we, as mostly normal people, do. I really find them so intricate to write and I want to do more of it, but because of the dark nature of the topics, I will most likely put them on Hali After Dark. I'm not super sure what I want to do yet - I am stuck between dissolving that blog and doing what I want on here or keeping myself safe from any harassment for darker themes.

12 Yoongi from Obsidian is going to be the most hot and cold character I've ever written. If I had to describe him, I think it would be that he is someone who goes from very unpredictable and chaotic to absolutely focused and razor-sharp in a second. He is very good at making people think he is... silly and not to be taken seriously.

13 I think that is really sweet. When I was going to therapy I would talk to my therapist a TON about what I was writing and how I thought it was influenced by things going on in my life, or other stories that I was reading that I found comfort and introspection in. There are a few darker stories as well that have given me SO much insight and perspective on a lot of things I've never thought about and I don't know. I feel like you learn a lot from people when you read their stories!!

15 THIS MONTH!! I promise - I have nothing that I'm focused on outside of Obsidian and Gods of the Dark right now. My goal is to finish GotD by the end of the year and then Obsidian sometime next year. That one is definitely a long fic.

Thank you for playing lil shy :) I love hearing so many thoughts and intricacies from readers, I really enjoy talking about writing and stuff!

Reverse ask game