#am just incredibly amused
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Blacked out and accidentally gave him a mullet I don’t know how I feel about this
#that’s not even Charles anymore who is that#very much a wip im actually trying to do a larger piece this time!!#am just incredibly amused#do I even want to put this in the main tags. hm.#dbda#dead boy detectives#Charles Rowland#my art
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thinking about crowyuan saving liu qingge from his qi deviation and disappearing before he can fully wake up so he won't be recognized (him being a demon and all), but it causes liu qingge to accidentally mistake him for shen qingqiu.
there is a massive fight during the next peak lord meeting, with liu qingge accusing shen qingqiu of saving his life and not taking responsibility for it as if it's a war crime, while shen qingqiu keeps denying he had anything to do with it and if he had saved liu qingge, he'd be rubbing it in his face every chance he got.
it escalates and escalates until liu qingge, red with embarrassment and anger, points at shen qingqiu and says "you were cradling me in your arms!" and shen qingqiu explodes.
mu qingfang tries to calm them down by saying that perhaps liu qingge hallucinated, which is not uncommon for a qi deviation, but that sets off some of the other peak lords who now start teasing him for "dreaming of shen qingqiu coming to rescue him", and of course that only makes it worse.
liu qingge refuses to let it go and starts bringing shen qingqiu his victories to try and pay off his debt, because he is an honorable man and he will not let shen qingqiu get away with this!!
meanwhile shen yuan is watching it from a distance wondering whether he made it better or worse by stepping in.
#sorry the image of liu qingge standing and shouting at shen qingqiu because he saved his life is just so funny to me#theyre arguing like ''you saved my life i am indebted to you!!!'' ''no ew wtf leave me alone??''#shen qingqiu was NOT amused#yes shen yuan DID cradle liu qingge in his arms. just picture it like ariel<3#liu qingge cant stop thinking about the feeling of gentle arms around him and a soft hand brushing the hair from his face#im telling you hes considering getting injured again just for that#part of why shen qingqiu keeps denying it also is because he knows someone else did this but doesnt want to be seen#which is incredibly suspicious#and hes trying to tell everyone like hey listen some rando saved liu qingge with an intense amount of spiritual energy and then disappeared#yall dont think that's weird???#but everyone else has an iq of 40 so theyre like ''its okay shixiong its nothing to be ashamed about''#weirdos#i love them<3#crowyuan#crowyuan au#shen qingqiu#shen yuan#liu qingge#liushen#both of em honestly#svsss au
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honestly it doesn't bug me that Jerry Seinfeld is bad at acting because the other main cast of Seinfeld are so good, Jerry's acting becomes a joke in and of itself.
#The three of them maintain the emotional immersion#Jerry's incredibly one-note acting is amusing but its not enough to overpower the costars and make the show feel fake#yknow???#Anyway. Jerry can do like. 2 emotions convincingly#mild social discomfort and mild amusement#legit his amused+disapproving reaction to his friends' bullshit usually (Elaine or George) is when the character feels most real#that and when he is trying to hide some mid / insulting opinion from a gf#On an in-universe note; it's VERY funny to imagine that Jerry is just an incredibly odd man#Always reacting as if amused on some level; speaks in a highpitch monotone whenever upset#Gives delightful autism vibes tbh#A guy who struggles with / cant do neurotypical emotional expression#He learned to be funny in order to be accepted socially (even turned it into a profit!)#but the catch is that this comedy-oriented mask is the only form of external emotional expression he knows how to do#'why arent you taking this seriously' 'istg i AM i just communocate exclusively thru jokes regardless of how i feel. yeah its a whole thing'#seinfeld#oh no she's writing headcanons abt the silly show#jerry seinfeld#my words#seinfeld thoughts
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youtube
so instead of doing anything productive today I made another video about these two 💀
#käärijä#bojan cvjeticanin#käärijän#since the previous video was from jere's POV obviously I had to make another one from bojan's i don't make the rules 🤷♀️#don't ask me why this song popped into my head but am I crazy or does it suit them lmaoo#once again I just find making sappy videos about them incredibly funny so this is for my own amusement & nothing serious#vids#Youtube
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// OOC but like I look away for a moment and not drawn bro is dead AVDJND I gotta go to the beginning of THAT whole arc and read about what the hell is going on🍿
#not bro#mod sylv#it was a JUMPSCARE /pos#bdhs blogs be like i be ur angle (silly) or yuor devil (angsty)#i am so incredibly amused by all of these arcs and stuff between blogs#it looks so FUN and interesting#im just sitting here with popcorn and intensely watching the chaos go down#flipping between all the blogs wildly for context#apparently rose is dead(?) and callie possesed which is fun#gosh these arcs are fascinating
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Syn has been living in my head rent free so he gets put in situations, situations being going to a nice café apparently and chatting with another shadow mewtwo, hope this is okay @seasidemew also Pikkot and the concept of Stardust Café belongs to @spikyegg!
Business was steady within multiverse Stardust café, Pokémon filed in and out most ordering their treats to go as they continued on their journey through the possibilities while some chose to stay and take a seat, taking a moment to relax within the calm aromatic atmosphere of the shop, freshly baked treats and breads steamed creating a delicious scent with carefully crafted teas to suit. The customers chatted at their tables to those they'd never even met before from entirely different worlds all taking the time to enjoy the delicacies lovingly baked by Pikkot in the kitchen, strangers exchanged cakes and brownies to each other in warmth as for a time a great sense of community was created within the room.
Due to the boundaries of this space within and between universes synergy corrupt individuals found that they quickly mellowed out as the behaviours of seeking more power were impossible in this environment and yet being in this bubble outside of worlds kept them appeased allowing many to return to an almost rational state. Though the many customers still exercised an air of caution about the two dark hued genetic Pokémon that were chatting up a storm at one of the tables, creating a noticeable area of empty seats. The taller, lighter gray hued of the two laughed into his hand as his tail idly swayed the end glowing brightly as it brushed across the floor. The more dark blue gray hued one with bright glowing crackles of energy flashing over her skin continued moving her hands in flourish as she told her story, her tail tip flicked in engagement though rested on a stool rather than laying on the floor like her companion's due to the bright shining and incredibly sharp crystal fused into the tip of her tail.
"Of course I wasn't going to let such a cheap tactic fly, while I understand it from a battle strategy point of view my way of seeing it is, if one is going to execute some cheap trick you need to be sure you can follow through, use it to your advantage to strike an ending blow and win, otherwise you're just gonna piss me off," she laughed a bit of an empty cruel laugh her tail swaying near the base which didn't quite reach the end, "well, I say that is if the miserable little creature had any real chance of winning." Her hand moved, rolling her wrist to flourish with her hand once more, "not to brag or anything." Her tone not matching her statement.
"I will give them the fact they managed to create a mark," her finger touched over a small scar on her forearm tapping it before turning her arm in examination, "not that it's that noticeable, well not noticeable to normal people at least but noticeable to champions," her mouth turned into a grin and although she showed teeth it was playful as her tone complimented casually. Her companion smirked as he raised a brow before relaxing into a chuckle.
"Complimenting me won't make me reconsider my evaluation on how much of a threat you might be," though they watched each other with equal caution there was a level of ease and playfulness to his tone, "but it does boost my ego." She tutted.
"Arceus in heaven above we can't be having that," she remarked playfully. She leant back casually in her chair in a half stretch as he turned from the waist to look around the café casually at hearing the bell on the door chime, he regarded the Bisharp with little interest turning back to sitting forward. There was a softer chime from the order up bell as a short, glasses wearing orange tailed mewtwo collected the plates of cakes and other confectioneries along with the two teacups and a specially chosen tea brewed in a teapot to compliment the taste buds. As they walked around the front desk carefully holding the tray in their hands the Bisharp moved backwards in a deliberate fast beat that saw their foot standing directly on one of the mewtwos toes and their bladed body roughly knocking into them also as the mewtwo staggered from surprise and no doubt pain. Their momentum saw them side stepping before they steadied and slowed the tray still balanced and no treats lost or tea spilt as they sighed in relief.
The Bisharp barked some remark about watching where you're going to the Mewtwo as they continued forward, keeping their head down before arriving at the table of the shadow Pokémon without further incident. Carefully they took the plates from the tray placing them on the table along with the teacups and pot, the lighter one, Syn glanced over the food that had been delivered and brought his eyes over to glance at the other mewtwo, short for mewtwo standards for sure with a short tail to boot, a bump in the chest piece that would indicate a mega stone along with some noticeable scarring around the region. His eyes glanced at the cuts made in their side that were starting to slowly bleed.
"That looked like it hurt," he commented casually as they put down the last of the tables order, he watched them move their shoulder and arm to look at the cuts and frown to themselves.
"aah drat…I guess it did," the mewtwo who he realized was a female spoke from their mouth, "could've been worse though, so glad it wasn't." Her tone was infectiously positive and a bit on the loud side."Pikkots gonna end up making a first aid wall of shame for me though at this rate," she laughs in an easy manner, "well I hope you both enjoy, and Darkness don't cause any trouble."
The darker mewtwo made something of a bleh sound in response as the orange two walked back to the kitchen to go receive first aid for their cuts, giving the bisharp an incredibly wide berth.
Syn made a soft laugh, "I still can't believe you settled on Darkness as your name."
"Oh yea sure Mr Syn-ergy crystal, I was young I'd only had this body what 3 minutes when I made that choice, I'm looking into experimenting with a new name ya jerk." Her tone was easy though as he chuckled picking out a treat to try from the selection, dramatically hovering his hand above the plates twirling his finger.
"So, how do you know that other mewtwo? Didn't strike me as the type of person you'd hang out with."
Darkness took a macaron and popped it in her mouth happily enjoying the texture and flavor on her tongue with a satisfied hum before speaking with projected telepathy, "she's not, that was May she's," she paused struggling for words rolling her wrist in a few circles before uncertainly settling on, "she was my first suitable host that survived having me implanted into them, and she's the horrid creature that mutually corrupted me as I corrupted her." She made a noise, "and I suppose now in this body I'm technically her clone sibling as I had to use her genetic sequencing to create this absolute form of perfection." She gestures to herself proudly in emphasis, "I blame the unique situation of our corruption for my, difficulties now with taking over another host. Luckily this body suits me quite nicely." She shrugged casually lifting the teapot carefully with psychic energy and pouring the tea into one of the available cups, she glanced with her eyes and motioned with her head and Syn moved his cup to motion that yes he would like a cup too.
"You must be fibbing," he brought the cup to his lips to take a drink before biting into a cupcake, he continued telepathically, "she's hardly a viable host? I haven't seen her use any Psychic powers, she walks around mouth talks and carries things in her hands plus she let that Bisharp get away with bullying her, she seems too soft to survive a corruption event. And there's no way you're cloned from her, she's all small and cute looking and you're well," he gestures vaguely, "you're designer."
"Good save with that one," She chuckled "and you're telling me, I am well aware of the state of her," Darkness sighed a bit turning a cupcake between her fingers, "she's, something, she's annoying weak and placid but it took me years to wear her down enough to take over, I was implanted before she was even technically full grown or officially born. It's embarrassing to think how long she prevented me for, but I suppose admirable in a weird way. I have a bit more of an appreciation for her now that I'm, more organic, urg semantics." She bit into the cupcake aggressively with a frustrated huff at her display of emotions.
He raised a brow at her, "it took years to possess her? And what happened when you finally succeeded?" he leant his elbow on the table leaning in a bit to hear more, he was a bit surprised in all honesty wondering what that meant for the power this May had to remain herself for so long.
"When I finally was able to take control I found a strange amount of potential within her, I found when used by the right person, myself of course, she could be incredibly powerful and dangerous. She was strong and I'll admit I was shocked at how well she took hits. Though I decided partly from vainness and partly from the fact I resented her at the time that she was inadequate even with her potential and decided to find the perfect vessel which led to having to clone and make the perfect body myself. I have to do all the hard work around here." She chuckled to herself.
"I'll admit though, I do worry about what she'd be like under the effects of an unaltered synergy crystal, no ideas mister," She lazily pointed a finger at him in accusation as he put his hands up in mock surrender pondering what would happen if he extended his corruption to her.
"I can see your face thinking, it could be your funeral." Darkness shrugged idly before smiling a bit as she chuckled to herself pointing with her thumb at a different mewtwo of a red pink hue and many discoloration patterns wearing a prosthetic on one arm and using psychic energy to recreate the other to make up for not having actual arms below the elbow and higher on one arm and a more pointed tail, "it also means I'm related to that fool over there another clone not made by me, if I have to put up with them at least I get free entertainment." She laughed a bit but Syn could see a bit of softness to her as she watched the other mewtwo flirting away to some male customers.
The orange mewtwo May returned from wherever she'd gone sporting some plasters and bandages carrying trays and deliveries out to people once again. "So, that scar on her chest was-?"
"That's from me yes," Darkness casually answered before he could finish as she touched the jagged crystal growing out of her chest, "burst out of her when I finally took over, was incredibly painstaking making sure I got every piece out of her when I transfered into this form, I'm amazed I can still mega evolve with the mewtonite in such a state." She moved her tail, lifting it to show off the sharp crystal on the end like a blade, "this was all home grown however, carefully shaped and added."
"You grew synergy crystal?" Syn asked intrigued as she started to tell him about the process of successfully managing to grow and farm synergy crystal and how to encourage the crystals to grow a certain way.
Syn continued to glance over at the other customers as they discussed in lengths the process of crystal growing. He would watch the other mewtwos as well, some from many other universes arrived and he observed and mentally categorized them. Most of them looked like easy pickings, others looked like very filling meals. At some point Darkness as sneakily as possible opened a jar of gherkins, he accepted one to try in confusion to why she brought them to a sweetie café watching her bite into a cupcake and then a gherkin. He could faintly hear Pikkot in the kitchen gasp in absolute horror as though sensing someone was committing crimes against his baking as Syn could only stare in bafflement.
"Not pregnant are you, dear Darkness?" He smirked playfully in mock as he looked at her and she looked back at him, with the silence becoming just a touch deafening.
"Look-" She began before there was an incredibly loud clattering of metal trays and the scraping of a chair rapidly sliding across the floor before clattering over loudly. It distracted both the shadow Pokémon enough to look over at the drama.
The bisharp from before was stood with their table and chair thrown about and trays scattered across the floor. The red pink hued mewtwo apparently called Matt had his arms to his chest in startled protective reflex as he stood near the trouble making Pokémon.
"Look I'm gonna have to ask you to leave, that is completely unacceptable! Like look at this mess man, I'm gonna have to pick this all up!" Matt threw up his arms in an exaggerated fashion at his frustration at the mess. The Bisharp eyed Matt up as it moved slowly stalking to the side like some predator eyeing up its prey. The other customers quickly moved to be as far away as they could to be out of the danger zone.
"Woah.. Woah hey now..dont like how you're looking at me..you wouldn't attack a guy with no arms would ya?" Matt turned on his feet following the prowling Bisharp not letting it get behind him and quickly yelping as it decided to lunge with Matt promptly half throwing himself to the side out the way yelling, "NEVER MIND I GUESS YOU WOULD."
He slipped on some smooshed cake as he attempted to scramble away from the danger, Syn almost wondered if he should step in if only for the thrill of a fight. He moved to stand and felt Darkness grab his forearm with a quiet, "hold on I wanna see what happens," as he gave her a confused look wondering why she was preventing probably the only competent person from stepping in to help her supposed brother.
The Bisharp swung their arm to slash with intent to cause serious injury before it's body froze in place, a thin shimmering white outline could be seen around their body as May stepped out from the kitchen with a cold expression, her eyes completely white. Despite the psychic energy rolling off of her in waves picking up the scattered chairs and tables scooping up squished cake and generally tidying up she didn't float, her arms carefully wrapped under Matts to pull him up as he moved to very quickly duck behind his furious sister.
She looked around the restaurant scanning over to make sure that no one else was hurt and nothing else needed fixing as the Bisharp made a grunt of effort as they attempted to break free of the psychic restraint, her head snapping to look at them at the sound.
She stared at them, tail swishing up and down as the metal blade on their arm began to quietly rattle and with a crack the metal shattered and they dropped to the floor at the sudden release.
The bisharp wailed at the destruction of their blade and there was no sympathy on her face as they stumbled holding their injured arm that hung limp with the pain having more than just a damaged pride as they fled out the door. Her eyes remained aglow watching after them, undoubtedly aware that with a damaged blade the social position of that bisharp was now ruined, that they would likely lose their pack and struggle to hunt, and there was still no sympathy on her face as she blinked and her eyes returned to normal.
"Boooo you should've killed him," Darkness hollered as other customers looked at her in horror at her suggestion as she simply smirked and shrugged. May shook her head checking over her brother asking if he was hurt before sweeping up the scattered metal shards off the floor and moving to apologize to the nearby customers for the actions she just took.
"What just happened.." Syn glanced at Darkness in bewilderment but also in slight awe at the casual brutality he just witnessed.
"I told you, Mays got potential but for some reason she can use her powers to protect other people and not herself and when she does use her powers? Well you saw what happened. Again, no ideas mister I don't wanna see her as a shadow version of her."
"Of course," he spoke glancing over as May went back to work, "I wouldn't dream of it." He lied casually.
#My writing#My ocs#@Seasidemews Syn#(hope u don't mind me tagging this one didn't wanna bother ur main)#@spikyegg Pikkot#I'd like to formally apologise for Darkness committing crimes against Pikkots baking and for the fallen cakes#But the idea of Pikkot just sensing someone doing something off with his food and gasping in horror and disgust amuses me so#Me @ Syn: so you got a bad bitch already synergy corrupted but like a side flavor of synergy that probably can't sync with urs-#And she's toll (6'9) and incredibly powerful while also having higher conscious and awareness so shes got complexity#Or you've got May who's just kinda short but she could and would kill someone without hesitation if they threatened her fam#And Syn goes hmmm I want the smol one XD I can see him preferring someone he can corrupt and corrupt with his synergy#Since him and Darkness unfortunately probably can't vibe but at least she's not rival but they can banter#Mushroom really said due to reasons shadow Pokémon get to be more chill here but pokemon that are assholes are still assholes#I needed drama okay XD#So Syns a lot more chill since he's not starving for energy and Darkness is less edgy too they're just vibing ur honor#Also darkness preggo moment maybe she usually ends up with a karma kid for her crimes so she suffers with anxiety from higher consciousness#Me @ darkness bing bong get frontal lobed binch#Also Matts here for comic relief but trust me he probably tries to shoot his shot with Syn only for the rejection sorry Matt#Matt is not immune to pretty men even if evil#Syn really just shows up in my brain and I go of course sir here take a seat and eat nice food /I/ am not immune to shadow mewtwo#(also I am assume Syns more that 6'9 otherwise oops Darkness would be Toller than him but like he probably has height over her)#(and may is 5'4 so shes SMOL ur honor but absolutely would attempt to fight Syn if he was actually in their universe being a threat)#(she can and WILL bite lmao)
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a homesuck post? in 2023? it's more likely than you think.
anyway meet my fantroll Jetsit Steele. They like to skate and think that they know everything there is to know about metal.s They are also in a pale polycule with two other very unpleasant golds.
#since golds have a reputation of being gross 4channers i based jetsit off of asshole metal purists/ music purists in general#i like making characters that are just incredibly unpleasant people. it amuses me.#jetsit <> kuprum <> folykl#homestuck#fantroll#i may be cringe but i am free#my oc#my art#art tag#jetsit steele#mustard blood#hiveswap#folykl darane#kuprum maxlol#in my mind they are both my very unpleasant friends and we are happy sort of#folykup#digital sketch#digital art#homesuck#jetsit might have redder feelings for folykl but im not sure yet#what i am sure about though is that jetsit refers to folykl as their girlfriend whereas kuprum is usually just 'my moirail'#it would have been funny if i named them jetsit radioo#art dump#anyway#middenz
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i love when people take my url at first glance it cracks me up every time. i love running this bit thats not even really a bit i just think im funny hdhg
me, a bisexual, looking for a non-fandom url back in the day: im gonna be so funny
#personal tag#shoutout to that time a complete rando @'ed me in a list to sum up what 'your-fave-is-(blank)' blogs are#and im just standing here like hello. this is my personal blog full of shiny things i like. also i am a bisexual.#the url choice is a funny haha joke i chose years ago n stuck with bc it amuses me#i hit every fave of mine of an unspecified sexuality with my bisexual trans nb ray. bc i am a bisexual trans nb.#anyway the creator of those wyll gifs from earlier reblogged it from me again with a 'prev url u r so right' type thing in the tags#n it made me laugh. prev url. incredible stuff
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A whole ass fire truck covered head to toe in Christmas lights and also flashing its own lights just drove by blaring "Have a Holly Jolly Christmas" through some kind of speaker so loudly that I could hear it with perfect clarity from well down the street. That is a thing that happened, on this Saturday evening
#I am delighted and amused but also feel slightly like I'm hallucinating#I know I'm not because it turned around at the top of the hill came back down the street and continued on its loud and merry way#idek why it strikes me so funny it was just INCREDIBLY unexpected lol
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imagining my ttrpg character vaping to vent my own frustrations
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" what are you working on ? " / @nightmarealm he loves being annoying and a nuisance.
" GAH! " dipper yelps when he hears bill's voice behind him, whirling around to look at him face-to-face. he wasn't intending to fall asleep - when did he fall asleep? he remembers working on writing a new entry in the journal..
he didn't think he'd fall asleep doing that, but he's never been too sure on how exactly bill worked.
" bill! " he grits out, annoyed in being interrupted. he pulls the journal close to his chest, wrapping his arms around it protectively. " what are you even doing here, man?! no one even wants you here! i definitely don't! "
#i am incredibly amused by the image of bill like. just randomly showing up to bother him#no malicious intent necessarily just trying to be a nuisance. it's VERY funny to imagine#ANSWERED.#nightmarealm
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you see i would love to engage with other saints row people but i fear being Cringe
#mar.txt#saints row#why am i main tagging? good question#you know what for good measure#monster hunter#<- tagging that too since my sr oc is a crossover oc#a versa pietru who's a rouge angel of truth that just. fucked off from his own world#was under the domain of one of my other ocs,one of the creator gods#currently in the process of becoming a fallen angel#pietru works nicely for this concept since it has two versions,versa (the 'light' version) and makili (the 'dark' version)#his name is uriel and he's a bitchy cat that is sadistic power hungry and tends to view mortals as disposable and existing solely for the#amusement of the divines such as himself#he views them as fundamentally lesser than dragons and even more lesser than divine beings#that SAID. joining with the saints led him to end up learning to value SOME human life as he begrudgingly ended up becoming fond of some of#them. cough cough johnny (bossgat brainrot :girlhelp:....). he's very very protective of them but still incredibly dismissive of other#mortal life#he gets to have the freedom to do what he wants (see: murder and violence and etc etc) in this world where he couldn't in his own so he#relishes in it and is quite loyal to the saints#by the events of 4 he ends up being fairly protective of everyone that's left,even if he IS still the equivalent of a grumbly surly cat to#everyone except johnny.... he shows his fondness in his Own Ways™️#good fucking gods i sound so cringy what the fuck im going to explode into a million pieces of viscera why am i maintagging both fandoms#head in hands head in hands head in hands h#oc tag: uriel
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My experience with Luke (Punz)
CW: toxic relationship, racism, dubious consent
I know in the past i said that i would no longer speak about him publicly, and when talking about my experiences with abuse and emotional mistreatment i begged to keep it anonymous but after reflecting on this for a week and seeing so many incredibly smart and strong women tell their stories. they have given me the strength to say his name.
this is really scary to talk about because of the copious levels of harassment i have received from his fans in the past so if this spreads or gets out of hand i will simply log off.
If you read my last post, i nicknamed him 1.
So aside from everything i said there, there were a lot of things i didn’t include because they would’ve made it obvious that it was him and it could potentially backfire on me so, i’m very afraid to post this. but i’m going to do it scared anyway, because it’s not fair that he gets to just go and live his life worry-free as if he didn’t practically ruin mine.
Because I already made a very lengthy post about him, i won’t include everything i said last time to avoid being redundant but if i repeat myself, please bear with me.
In our year long relationship i had to endure emotional neglect, gaslighting, verbal abuse, one instance where there was dubious consent, and much more.
Starting off at the beginning of our relationship, that’s when i was getting copious amounts of hate and harassment from his fan base (warranted or not), he decided that our relationship must be kept private. he said it was to “protect” me from his fanbase when in reality it was to protect himself. it was so he wouldn’t get all the backlash i was getting. this is funny because one of the things i got called out for was saying the B slur (derogatory term used against mexicans/latinos). I won’t get into the nuances of if i could say it or not as a puertorican because that’s discourse that does not pertain to this specific situation. But you know who definitely can’t say it? A white boy from Massachusetts. When i was getting cancelled for this and getting thousands of tweets calling me names, he decided that was the perfect time to say “I mean you are a b***** aren’t you? my little b*****.” Now, he said this completely unprompted. I was in the process of writing my apology and he just said that. I tell you this because i immediately shut him down and told him that there was no universe in which it was okay for him to say that word and especially not one where he could just call me that. While i was reprimanding him, he was smiling and laughing. he apparently found it amusing to call me a slur. regardless, he gave me a half-assed apology and said he wouldn’t do it again. and he didn’t. but this wasn’t the only time he was weirdly racist to me. this was my first time being in an interracial relationship so i was led to believe that this was normal by all the white people around me at the time. But, sometimes my spanish accent would come out and he would make fun of me and the way i pronounced some words. He also refused to visit me in Puerto Rico when i lived there or come meet my family when i really wanted him to because he “didn’t like the heat” or “it’s dangerous there isn’t it?”. Once, while we were watching season 2 of Bridgerton, he implied that the Sharma sisters were “too dark” for him to be attracted to them. This hurt me because they are brown skinned girls. I am a brown skinned girl. Then this, combined with the fact that he told me once he wasn’t attracted to me made me feel like my skin color was unattractive. These are only a few examples i can think of at the moment, but i’m sure there were more. Our relationship ended in 2022 so some of my memory is a bit hazy. But, I do remember feeling inferior to him throughout the relationship because he was white and I was not. I chalk that up to all the micro aggressions i had to deal with because i had never felt that way around white people before.
Another thing i had to endure was him constantly making me feel like he was embarrassed to be with me. Because i was cancelled, he didn’t want to associate with me too much. He did defend me on multiple occasions, I’ll give him that. But, he only did it because his name was getting dragged in the mud along with mine. Excusing my actions made him look better for being around me. In reality he didn’t really care. Because he was such a big content creator and someone i looked up to professionally, I took his advice as law. He told me to tone down my personality, to keep a low profile, to change things about myself to be more palatable to his audience. The same audience that spoke about me like “The pussy can’t be that good punz please stop defending her”. So i changed a lot of things about myself and my content to better suit what his audience liked. He made me feel like if his audience liked me, he would be public about our relationship and stop hiding it. He told me the reason why he wanted to keep our relationship a secret was because he didn’t want to get hate for it. But this wasn’t true. On my 20th birthday he went to Las Vegas for a twitch rivals event. That night i asked to facetime him to say goodnight and he refused because he was at a hotel room with his friends and he didn’t want them to know that we were together. It was as if my mere presence or the utterance of my name was a source of embarrassment for him. And he didn’t let me forget it. It wasn’t just a public thing at that point. He didn’t want people to know we were together, period. This was devastating to me because I would talk to all my friends about him. I was so proud to be with him and I was just one more problem to him. He made me feel so small and insignificant just because his fans didn’t like me.
He would berate me a lot. Not just due to getting heat online, although he did do that a lot. But in general whenever we would get into an argument or a disagreement he would always call me names like annoying or weird or stupid. He would raise his voice at me if i did something he didn’t like and call me an idiot. And that really hurt, i felt like i couldn’t bring up anything or do anything without getting insulted. If I hadn’t seen him in a few days because he was too busy streaming and i asked to hang out he would call me needy, clingy, and annoying. Granted, he might not have been wrong, but that is not something you say to someone you claim to love. He also insulted me when i was in depressive episodes. I have BPD and at the time i was not being treated properly for it. So, I was all over the place emotionally and he was what i clung to for validation, reassurance, and love. I talked to him when we first started dating about my disorder and told him that if it seemed like something he couldn’t handle that he could opt out of the relationship. I guess he didn’t think it was that bad or something idk because whenever i had really bad depressive episodes, he would tell me I was too sad to hang out with. He said that my sadness was a burden to him. Which would be fair. But, once my mother had a conversation with him about me. She told him that i am someone who needs a lot of love and caring. She said that if he wasn’t willing to put in that kind of effort into a relationship to just leave me alone. He reassured her that he would be there for me no matter what. He told my mother that he would protect me and my heart. He did not. He took all the warnings I gave him and ignored them and then made me feel like I was the problem. And even worse, he would say that i was pretending to be sad to get his attention when he would neglect for days at a time.
There were also some smaller things like the fact that he made me feel really guilty whenever he would spend money on me. Also, he would be really mean about my eating habits. For context, i used to suffer from an eating disorder. I was anorexic and had a really unhealthy relationship with food during high school and my first year of uni. This relationship began when i was recovering from my ED. For me, eating was really hard. So i had certain comfort foods that, while sometimes unhealthy, at least it was something to eat when i didn’t feel like eating anything. He knew this. Yet, whenever i would crave some of these foods he would call me fat. Constantly told me I’d gain weight from eating all that junk food. Saying that to someone with an eating disorder is crazy. Other smaller things were that whenever I would post tiktoks where i was lip syncing or just looking good he would yell at me and say i was looking for attention. Same with Instagram or Twitter whenever i would post photos where I looked hot. He never planned out a single date for us. I would beg him to get me flowers and he did maybe once but i’ll get into that in a bit. He would make fun of me in front of his friends to make himself look better. He let his friends say really degrading things about me in his presence. For example, once when i was showering, i overheard him on a discord call with George and Sapnap and i heard George say “if you don’t go in the shower and have sex with Andi, i will”. Once, when i was really struggling with my legs (for those of you who don’t know, i have arthritis and it’s very painful. at the time i wasn’t diagnosed but i was in a lot of pain) I literally could not walk. I had to beg him to take me to the ER because i didn’t know what was wrong with me. He didn’t want to take me but eventually i convinced him, and while we were there all he did was complain about how long it was taking and that he would have rather been at home streaming. Whenever I would talk about my interests that i was excited about like shows or books he would be incredibly uninterested and say that those things were stupid and he didn’t want to hear about them. I know all of these seem very silly or superficial but cumulatively it was awful.
Now for arguably the most serious thing i’m going to talk about. I want to preface this by saying i am just telling my side of what happened. You can come to your own conclusions about this.
On April 25, 2022 it was our one year anniversary, and i had made a dinner reservation for us. I expected him to plan something throughout the day for us to do. He told me he was going to spend the whole day playing Valorant so I got upset and cancelled the reservation. After a very heated argument, we calmed down and i asked him to come over. He came over about an hour later with flowers and drinks (I was 20 at the time so I couldn’t buy the drinks myself). He brought Smirnoffs and Trulys. For context, I am a lightweight. I always have been. I literally get tipsy on half a cocktail. And that day, I hadn’t eaten anything because i was in distress over our argument. So we get to talking and drinking. I blacked out after my second Smirnoff. Apparently I drank 3 but I genuinely cannot remember anything after finishing the second one. The next morning i woke up naked in my bed. I woke him up and asked him “Luke, why am I naked?” and he said “Because you didn’t want to put your clothes back on.” When I clarified to him that that was not what I meant, he got defensive and said that he didn’t realize how drunk I was. He proceeded to tell me that I initiated sex with him and that i was very enthusiastic about it. He said he didn’t know i could black out on three smirnoffs. He made fun of me for being a lightweight and continued to make light of the situation. Then he mentioned that i fell off the bed at some point in the night and that it was funny how drunk I was. I then questioned him. Because if he thought that me tripping and falling off the bed because i was so drunk was funny, how did he not know that i was too drunk? He responded by saying that i fell off the bed only after we were done. That day I broke up with him. I’m still really confused about what happened that night. I don’t remember anything and all I have to go on is what he said to me. We were in a relationship at the time and he says he didn’t know how drunk I was so I’m not sure what to call what happened. A while after that day, his friend that hmu while we were broken up and I started talking again and i confided in him about that night. He told me to be careful saying things like that because they could get me into trouble. I spoke to some of our other friends about it and they told me it was no big deal and that it wasn’t his fault that he didn’t know how drunk I really was. Because I don’t remember, I have been led to believe that this is not a serious matter. You can think what you want, come to whatever conclusions you want. That is just my side of the story.
I want to add that I’m not proud of how I acted after the relationship ended. I felt really angry at all the shit he put me through and I guess a part of me wanted him to hurt even a quarter of how I did. So I started talking to his friend and got involved with him. This backfired on me because his friend ended up really hurting me too so ig i got my karma. But the thing that hurt the most is that because of what I did, some of our friends took his side in the break up. I was told that I did something terrible by getting involved with his friend that he was already insecure about and that he didn’t deserve that. These are the same friends who were witness to the dumpster fire of a relationship we had and all the things he did to me. They turned their backs on me because of this one thing I did. But stood by and watched as he treated me like garbage for over a year.
I will conclude this by saying that while this relationship has been “over and done with” for almost two years now, I carry a lot of trauma from it still. I still talk about him in therapy and have had to put in a lot of work to heal from what he did and i still cannot say that i am okay. I am very blessed to now have a patient and understanding partner who has helped me heal from that trauma and i just want to quickly thank him for that. Nobody deserves to go through what I did. While yes, it was a toxic relationship, and I had a part in that, it does not excuse all the awful things he said and did to me. This is my truth, thank you for taking the time to read it.
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After Max’s incredibly hot performance in Brazil today I am dying for a Max X Best friend smut. Where he’s been really mopey after quali about not winning any races and not having a sex. So, she jokes that if he wins the gp she’ll reward him. Just imagine the first thing he does when he gets out the car is kiss her and they celebrate the whole night 🥵
mad max strikes back (mv1)
pairing: max verstappen x bff!reader
summary: max is furious after a terrible qualifying lashing out against the team. however, you propose an enticing deal for the desperately hungry lion...but only if he wins
warnings: friends to lovers and 18+, MDNI, NSFW -> smut ft. rough sex, public sex (or sex in a public location aka max's driver room), unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), possessive!max, lowkey a breeding kink
wc: 4043
a/n: anon i love the way you think ❤️ cause that was an absolute masterclass drive by max, truly indicative of his skill in being able to achieve his three (and hopefully very soon fourth) world championships -> so here's a long one to celebrate ;)
[masterlist] [requests]
max stormed into the red bull garage angrily muttering expletives, slamming down his helmet onto the table with a thud. qualifying could not have gotten any worse. not only had he gone out in q2 from a shitty red flag, he had a grid penalty and lando had also made his way to the top of the timesheet and had qualified first for the race later that day.
he was fucking pissed.
he felt a hand gripping his shoulder, and he whipped around angrily to yell at whoever it was to leave him the hell alone - he didn’t need to hear the same words from gp or christian, let alone his father, who he knew had been even more angry about the flag. they were all just going to inadvertently rile him up more, something he didn’t want on his mind when the rain would be pouring down like buckets only two hours later.
max softened only slightly when he saw it was you, but his scowl and deepening frown lines were still plastered on his face. "what do you want? i'm not in the mood right now." he growled out, but there wasn't much bite behind his words. his eyes, usually so energised and focused, appeared dull and distant to you, as if the weight of the potential consequences had drained all the energy from his body.
"max, it's okay. i'm here," you said softly, as you stepped closer to stand beside him. hand brushing against his arm, it sent a gentle spark through both of you as you gave max words of comfort and reassurance. your voice was calm and reassuring, a stark contrast to max's earlier tirade. as you spoke, you reached up to gently massage his neck and shoulders, feeling the tension seep out of his muscles under your touch.
the adrenaline of his anger dissipated as your hands touched the sensitive skin of his neck, max leaning into you and letting out a soft sigh as he closed his eyes. you were soothing the knots of frustration that had taken hold of his body. as you continued to knead his tense muscles, max's grip on the edge of the table loosened, and he slowly lowered himself into the chair behind him. his head fell back, exposing the long column of his throat, which you couldn't resist tracing with the tip of your finger. the delicate skin was flushed, likely hoarse from his angry shouts.
"you're always so good at making me relax," max murmured, still evidently mad about the result but slowly physically relaxing.
“don’t let rupert here you say that, he’ll have my head for trying to steal his job,” you chuckled softly, watching max soften under your touch, “perhaps you should invest in a full time masseur if it’s this easy to get you to relax,” you smiled softly, patting his back as you kneeled down in front of him, meeting his lowered gaze.
max shook his head in mock amusement despite his foul mood. he reached out to cup your cheek, his thumb brushing over your cheek. the gesture sent a flurry of butterflies through you, making your heart race. max's eyes glinted with an emotion you couldn't quite place - gratitude, affection, something more?
"thank you for being here for me," he said quietly, his voice rough with emotion. "i don't know what i'd do without you sometimes."
in a moment of vulnerability, max leaned forward and pressed his forehead against yours. you could feel the heat radiating off his skin, smell the faint scent of his cologne mixed with the fabric of his racing suit. max's warm breath ghosted across your lips as he leaned in close, his eyes searching yours intensely. you felt like you were drowning in those piercing blue depths, every thought evaporating until all that remained was the thrumming pulse between your bodies.
you loved it.
"if you win today, i promise i'll give you a reward," you teased, pulling away reluctantly as you could hear the commentators announcing the time for the start of the race and the mechanics around you grew alive. max looked momentarily surprised before a slow grin spread across his face, transforming his features from brooding to boyish in an instant.
"oh? and what sort of reward did you have in mind?" he asked, arching an eyebrow suggestively. the atmosphere shifted, the air thickening with unspoken tension. you felt a blush creep up your cheeks as you averted your gaze, suddenly self-conscious under the intensity of his stare.
"well, uh, maybe we could celebrate properly afterwards?" you offered lamely, fidgeting with the hem of your shirt while you glanced down at max’s racing shoes. he chuckled huskily, sending some familiar shivers down your spine.
"I think that can be arranged," he purred, leaning in close again, leaning in close enough for you to feel the heat of his body. his lips brushed against your ear as he whispered, "and i've got a few ideas for how we could celebrate..."
eyes dark with desire, he reached out to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear, his fingers lingering on your cheek.
"but first, i’m going to win,”
watching max throughout the beginning stages of the race was nothing short of a god-given miracle. your eyes were glued to the screen in the garage, watching as the lap count increased, he carved his way all the way from p17 through the rain soaked cars like it was nothing.
he drove like the world champion he was meant to be.
watching as the cars came into the pits for the red flag and with max slotted into p2 behind esteban, you couldn’t help but feel an immense sense of pride for your best friend. he was proving everyone, including himself wrong, and setting himself up for a podium finish, you thought gleefully.
max had quickly gotten himself out of the car before pacing his way towards his father and helmut, where a rapid exchange of dutch and german was exchanged between them. although, you had not yet approached him from your stool in the garage, he smiled, knowing that you were still watching him.
you could see a hint of a smile on max’s face as he discussed the tyres and track conditions with gp, before he swung around. max strode towards you with a newfound spring in his step, his earlier frustration seemingly forgotten in the thrill of the race. as he drew near, you could see the glimmer of excitement in his eyes, the flush of adrenaline colouring his cheeks. he stopped in front of you, hands on his hips as he caught his breath.
"did you see that?!" he exclaimed,"i mean, yeah, the conditions are crazy, but..." he shook his head in amazement. "i felt like i was flying out there. like the car is performing well, there’s nice balance…."
max reached out to pull you into a tight hug, spinning you around briefly before setting you back on your feet. his arms lingered around your waist, holding you close.
“i really think i can win this now,”
“i know you can. go get them lion,”
as you watched max carve out the final corners of the final lap, the chequered flag starting to be raised gleefully in the background, you couldn’t help but let out a broken sob in the garage, the mechanics around you roaring to life as he crossed the line in first.
your max…coming first…for the first time since spain…it was a dream come true.
standing shellshocked in the garage, you were only shoved out of your state, when gp grabbed your arm pulling you towards his screens, before putting a pair of headphones on your head.
he’s listening, he mouthed, before congratulating max on the radio. you could hear the raw joy in max’s shout as he said his signature catchphrase, before gp gestured for you to say something.
“m-maxie, i’m s-so proud of you. you’ve wo-worked so hard for this…” you managed to get out between tears, furiously trying to hide your tear-stricken face from the broadcast camera, which had panned towards the victorious red bull garage.
“thank you y/n…” he grinned, hearing your voice on the radio only made the moment more special for him.
and for a moment, you both felt like you were on top of the world.
“i love you,”
the weight of his words hung heavy in the air between you, the confession echoing in your ears. max listened to you closely, gauging your reaction with bated breath. you felt your heart stutter in your chest, the overwhelming swell of emotion threatening to consume you entirely.
"i...i love you too, max," you whispered, barely audible over the cheers and celebrations erupting around you, "so fucking much."
watching max roll the rb20 into parc ferme - your eyes even more red than before, hair plastered against your sweaty face - you pressed yourself up against the barriers with the red bull mechanics and team members, helmut and christian nearby. the clamour in the crowd and in the people surrounding you reached a fever pitch as max raised his fists in the sky; savouring his victory for but a moment, before he ran towards the red bull crowd. he leaped into the waiting arms of his jubilant crew, who slapped his back, clapping and cheering, chanting his name.
as the team set him back down, max's eyes immediately sought you out in the crowd. pulling you through his celebrating crew, he wrapped you up in a crushing embrace, lifting you off your feet. you melted into his embrace, pouring every ounce of your joy, pride, and adoration into it.
"we did it! we actually fucking did it!" he yelled, his face split in a wide, ecstatic grin. setting you back down, he cupped your face in his gloved hands, thumbs brushing away the happy tears streaking your cheeks. max gazed at you with a look of pure adoration, his eyes shining with triumph and something deeper, more intimate. the roar of the crowd faded into the background as he leaned in and captured your lips in a searing kiss. the world seemed to tilt on its axis as you clung into him, the taste of his victory mingling with the salt of your tears. his gloves scraped gently against your cheeks as he held your face, angling your head to deepen the kiss.
the crowd's cheers grew distant, replaced by the pounding of your heart and the ragged sound of your breath. max's tongue swept across your lower lip, coaxing it open, and you surrendered willingly, parting your mouth to welcome him inside. his kiss was hungry, devouring; his primal elation coursing through his veins. you clung to him, fingers digging into the fabric of his racing suit as he ravaged your mouth, staking his claim. max's gloved hand slid down to cradle the back of your neck, his thumb rubbing soothing circles over your sensitive skin as his tongue went deeper, exploring the warmth of your mouth.
just as the kiss threatened to spiral out of control, a throat cleared loudly beside you. you and max sprang apart guiltily, both flushed and breathing hard. christian and helmut stood there with amused expressions, clearly having witnessed the heated display.
just as the kiss threatened to spiral out of control, a throat cleared loudly beside you. you and max sprang apart guiltily, both flushed and breathing hard. christian and helmut stood there with amused expressions, clearly having witnessed the heated display.
"ah, max," christian began, struggling to keep a straight face. "while we're all very pleased about your win, perhaps save the celebratory…activities…for later, hmm?"
helmut snorted. "yes, let's try to maintain a modicum of professionalism, shall we? there will be plenty of time for private celebrations after the press conference."
max cleared his throat awkwardly, glancing at you with a sheepish grin. "right, yes. sorry about that." he stepped back slightly, though his hand found yours and squeezed it reassuringly.
“i’ll see you guys later at the podium,”
later, as max ascended the podium to accept his winner’s trophy, his gaze scanned the crowd until it landed on you once more. a broad, triumphant smile spread across his face and he blew you a playful kiss, winking at you as the cameras flashed. the crowd erupted in applause again, but max barely registered it, his focus solely on you.
you, his best friend (well hopefully not anymore if he had anything to do about it), was there exuberantly celebrating his first win in what felt like whatever. you had been there since the beginning, but this one felt all the more special
max pushed open the door to his cramped driver's room, a tired but satisfied smile on his face. the media duties had finally died down, leaving him free to celebrate with you in private. you were sitting on the edge of the narrow bed watching him with a smile as he kicked off his racing boots and crossed the room in a few long strides. before you could react, he scooped you up into his arms, pressing you back against the bed.
"thank you, thank you, thank you," he murmured, his voice low and husky with exhaustion. leaning down, he claimed your lips in a deep kiss, his hands roaming possessively over your body. he was fierce and demanding - max's lips moving hungrily against yours as if trying to drink in every ounce of your presence. his hands slid under your shirt, skimming over your sides and coming to rest on your stomach, fingertips dipping just beneath the waistband of your pants.
as he broke the kiss, panting softly, he gazed down at you making your heart race. "i want you," he breathed, his voice rough with longing. "right here, right now. reward your race winner.” your breath caught in your throat at the raw hunger in max's eyes. the air between you crackled as he loomed over you, his muscular frame casting a shadow on the small space. his hands continued their exploration, tugging at your shirt with impatient fingers.
you nodded eagerly, a shiver running down your spine at the promise. "yes, please," you whispered, reaching for the hem of his racing suit. "i need you too." with a growl of approval, max helped you strip off his gear, revealing the lean, powerful lines of his body. he shed his underwear next, kicking them aside carelessly as he climbed onto the bed, covering your body with his own.
your fingers tangled in max's short hair as he kissed you fiercely again, his tongue delving into your mouth to taste you fully. his weight pressed you into the thin mattress, the creak of metal drowned out by your moans.
max's hands mapped the curves of your body, calloused palms scraping deliciously against sensitive skin as he stripped away your remaining clothes except for your panties. cool air washed over your bare flesh, pebbling your nipples into tight buds. he groaned appreciatively at the sight of you, laid out like an offering beneath him.
"so beautiful," he rasped, ducking his head to put his tongue over one rosy peak. you arched into the touch, fingers tightening reflexively in his hair. he lavished attention on each breast in turn, teeth grazing lightly before soothing the sting with his lips and tongue. as max worshipped your breasts, his hands drifted lower, teasing along the curves of your hips and thighs. you squirmed restlessly, craving more of his touch. he chuckled darkly, a vibration that sent tingles through you.
"not so fast, love," he teased, trailing a fingertip down. before you could protest, he hooked his fingers in the waistband of your panties and slowly dragged them down your legs, kissing and nipping a path along the way. the fabric slipped past your ankles, pooling around your feet as he tossed it aside.
now completely bare before him, you felt exposed yet incredibly aroused, your body vibrating with anticipation. max's hungry gaze raked over your body, making you acutely aware of how wet you'd already grown. with a predatory gleam in his eye, max settled between your thighs, his hot breath fanning over your slick folds. you gasped, back arching off the bed as he leaned in to lap at your clit, his tongue bold and insistent.
"mmm, you taste even better than i imagined," he murmured against your sensitive flesh, the vibrations sending jolts of pleasure through you. his hands gripped your hips, holding you steady as he lapped at your arousal, sucking and nibbling until you were writhing beneath him, desperate for more.
max's relentless tongue drove you wild, your climax building with terrifying speed. he seemed to sense your impending release, doubling his efforts to push you over the edge. you keened loudly, fingers threading through his hair as your orgasm crashed over you in waves of ecstasy.
just when you thought you couldn't take anymore, max pulled back, leaving you gasping and trembling. he rose up on his knees, a wicked grin spreading across his face as he reached his dick. "my turn now," he smirked, putting you on your hands and knees, your delectable ass facing him.
with a low growl, max positioned himself behind you, the thick head of his cock nudging insistently at your entrance. he took a moment to savour the feel of your warm, damp heat beckoning him, your muscles fluttering in anticipation.
max tapped the swollen head of his cock against your pussy, the broad tip parting your slick folds with each teasing press. "so ready for me, aren't you?" he purred, his voice dripping with lust. "your pussy is practically begging for my dick." he rubbed the underside of his shaft along your slit, coating himself in your juices before notching the tip inside you. the stretch was painful, but your inner walls clenching greedily around the intrusion.
with a slow, deliberate thrust, max sheathed himself to the hilt, a guttural moan escaping him as your velvety heat enveloped his throbbing length. he paused for a moment, before beginning to move, withdrawing almost completely before slamming back in, setting a relentless pace that left you breathless and pleading for more. max set a brutal rhythm, pounding into you with abandon as he gripped your hips hard enough to leave bruises. each savage thrust hit deep, the force of his strokes rattling the tiny room.
"you're mine," he snarled, his breath hot against your ear. "every inch of this sweet cunt belongs to me." his words were punctuated by the lewd slap of flesh on flesh, the sound echoing off the metal walls. your cries of pleasure mingled with the symphony of grunts and slaps as max relentlessly claimed you, his powerful body driving into yours with unrelenting fervour. sweat dripped from his brow, stinging your skin where they touched, but only served to heighten the intensity.
as max's pace quickened, the bed creaked ominously beneath you, the metallic frame straining against the force of his thrusts. he pistoned into you with reckless abandon, his balls slapping against your clit with every savage stroke. the pressure built rapidly, coiling tighter and tighter within you, threatening to unleash a maelstrom of pleasure.
max suddenly withdrew from your spasming channel, leaving you empty and aching. before you could cry out and whine, he flipped you onto your back, pinning your wrists above your head with one large hand. his other grasped his rigid cock, stroking it slowly as he loomed over you, a predator poised to strike.
"look at you," he growled, his heated gaze raking over your flushed, panting form. "so desperate for my dick, your cunt still twitching." he tapped the engorged head at your entrance once more, teasing you mercilessly with shallow thrusts that barely penetrated you. "beg for it, little one. tell me how badly you need your best friend's cock inside you again."
max continued his maddening tease, the thick crown of his erection catching on your rim with every torturous glide. your hips bucked instinctively, but he maintained his infuriating control, denying you the fullness you craved. "please..." you whimpered, your voice ragged with need. "max, i need you... please fuck me!" tears of frustration pricked at the corners of your eyes as he kept you balanced on the knife's edge of desperation, your body wound tight.
with a cruel chuckle, max finally relented, burying himself to the hilt in one swift, powerful thrust. a choked cry tore from your throat as he stretched you wide, his girth filling you utterly."that's it, take it all," he grunted, starting to move, his heavy balls slapping against your ass with each punishing stroke. "this is what you wanted, isn't it? to be split open on my fat cock, used like the needy slut you are."
max's filthy words only fueled your arousal as he ravaged you, his thick cock plundering your depths with ruthless efficiency. the room filled with the obscene sounds of flesh meeting flesh and your wanton moans - a lewd symphony. his eyes darkened with possessive hunger as he drank in the sight of you splayed out beneath him, impaled on his throbbing cock. "fuck, look at you," he rasped, his voice rough with desire. "taking my dick so well, like you were made for it."
he punctuated his words with sharp, deep thrusts, grinding against your cervix with each snap of his hips. "this cunt is mine now, understand? no one else gets to have you like this, not ever again." his grip on your wrists tightened, the bite of his fingers a delicious counterpoint to the pleasure radiating from your core.
"i'm going to ruin you for anyone else," max promised darkly, his rhythm growing erratic as he chased his own release.
max's movements grew frantic, his pelvis slapping against yours with bruising force as he neared his peak. "that's it, take it all," he snarled, his voice strained with impending climax. "milk my cock like the greedy little cumslut you are." with a final, brutal thrust, max buried himself to the hilt, his thick shaft pulsing as he emptied himself deep inside you. rope after rope of hot seed painted your insides, marking you as his in the most primal way possible. through it all, he held your gaze captive, his eyes blazing with feral satisfaction as he claimed you utterly.
max collapsed beside you, both of you panting and sweat-slicked in the aftermath. for a long moment, neither of you spoke, simply basking in the glow of shared pleasure and the intimate connection forged between you.
finally, max rolled onto his side, propping himself up on one elbow to gaze down at you tenderly. he reached out to brush a stray lock of hair from your face, his touch gentle in contrast to the roughness of your lovemaking. "i meant what i said, you know," he murmured softly, his eyes searching yours. "about wanting to be with you, really be with you. i don't just mean sexually, though god knows i want that too."
you met max's gaze, seeing the sincerity shining in his eyes. despite the lingering echoes of passion, there was a vulnerability there that stirred something deep within you. "i feel it too," you admitted quietly, reaching up to place your palm against his cheek. "the connection, the... everything. it scares me a little, to be honest."
max's expression softened, his thumb brushing over your knuckles in a comforting gesture. "it should," he agreed gently. "love, real love, always does. but i promise, i'll be here for you, through all of it - the good, the bad, and everything in between." he leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. "we'll figure it out together, okay?"
“i love you max,”
max's heart skipped a beat at your confession again, "i love you too, darling," he whispered, his voice trembling with emotion. he cupped your face in his hands, his thumbs caressing your cheeks as he poured his feelings into a searing kiss.
in that moment, the world fell away, leaving only the two of you, lost in the depth of your affection. max's lips moved against yours with a tenderness that belied the raw passion of earlier, conveying the complexity of his emotions. as the kiss deepened, he wrapped his arms around you, holding you close as if he never wanted to let go.
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dolce and gabbana
pairing: san x guest! reader (fem)
genre: pure smut with a tiddlywink of plot
summary: san can’t seem to get you off his mind after sitting next to you during the latest D&G showcase, so he has no choice but to get you on his dick instead.
w.c: 3.3k
warnings: some alcohol use, subby until he’s not! san, dommy mommy who folds instantly when san asserts himself! reader, both reader and san mutually go after one another despite knowing one of them is MARRIED (hoes will be hoes what can i say <3), reader’s husband is a dick ofc, misogyny (from said husband), cheating, seduction, exhibitionism, mommy/daddy kink….. (i’m weak okay,,), teasing, ITS BIG BTW AND CURVED……, only praise and pet names (omg who hacked k4s???), groping, fingering, kissing, dry humping on a couch in a very crowded room, one neck bite, san cums untouched, oral (receiving), squirting, one singular pussy slap, san puts reader into a mating press on her husband’s side of the bed just for funsies, manhandling, size kink, breeding kink, creampies (sannie cums a lotttt)
a/n: as a pudding since day 1 i am in absolute shambles thanks for asking <3 and YES im very aware i posted yesterday but the fic demons cannot be silenced!!! and just fyi i’m sure san was very grateful and absolutely brimming with excitement to be at the show!! the way i wrote him here does not reflect his actual feelings towards anything,, its just a silly fic and i wrote what i wanted lol. also i wish i could tell you how many times “dolce and gabbana that’s on my titties~” played in my head while i typed this out 😭😭 (also i did not proofread this whatsoever so forgive me if there are errors) but anyways, i hope you enjoy :33
song recs: la romana by bad bunny, rover by kai, planet goddamn by mac miller
San knew eyes would be on him. Why wouldn’t they be? He was dressed to the nines, his hair slicked back to showcase his alluring, feline-like eyes, his sharp, angular features that could give someone a fatal cut if they looked for too long, and most importantly, he was all decked out in a sleek black custom-made top that perfectly adorned his broad shoulders and chest, one that even cinched securely around his impossibly tiny waist. Of course it did. It had been custom fit and made just for his body. Even the tailor had jokingly mentioned that Michelangelo himself must’ve sculpted him to perfection in the heavens before San was born, but San wasn’t laughing. He perfected his body through his own sheer willpower and determination alone, to be the best that he could be for his own self — and if people just so happened to drool over the results of his hard work, then that was simply a perk.
Holding his hand up to shield his eyes from the many camera flashes, he continued to make his way down the walkway, offering many of the starstruck guests a courteous, though charming smile, wondering if their wandering gazes were due to his breathtaking ensemble or what was sitting just below it. The thought tickled him. It continued to amuse him throughout the afternoon, taking picture after picture with eager guests and wealthy tycoons alike, quite pleased with himself when neither man nor woman could seem to control themselves around him, their eyes always drifting downwards to look San up and down like he were next up in an auction, their mouths pressed to their champagne flutes in an effort to quell the thirst they felt, their free hands lingering just a little too long on the small of his back when they bid farewell to him.
San relished the fact that these poor starving individuals could never get a taste of him, no matter how incredibly rich or influential they were. None of them would get a bite of the forbidden fruit without permission from God.
It was then that the show started, various eye-catching models sashaying their way across the aisle to showcase the latest D&G collection, all displaying their own unique set of features and charm. All flawless and angelic in their own right, but they were almost predictable in that way — like mannequins made solely for the rich and beautiful to gawk at. San couldn’t help but look past them, only focusing on the expensive, tailor made clothes that were framing their perfect bodies. And after a while, he almost seemed to grow bored. Of what, exactly? He wasn’t sure. Maybe it was the sheer gaudiness of it all, the lack of self awareness for things that really mattered in the modern world, and the almost nauseating amount of self-sucking the rich individuals around him seemed to be fond of doing. San would’ve pondered it more when somebody near him gently patted his thigh, causing him to look down at the small manicured hand, the diamond ring around your finger glinting in the light like a warning sign.
“Are you bored like I am?” you whispered softly into his ear from beside him, giving him a quaint smile when he turned his head to face you.
San blushed, leaning slightly in your direction. “Am I that obvious?”
“No, don’t worry. None of these drones will be able to notice.” You motioned your head to the crowd around you, their phones in hand, all whispering to each other about how revolutionary the new collection was, despite it looking eerily similar to the fall one from the year before. “You could whip your cock out and no one would bat an eye.”
“Oh?” San studied your flirtatious smile, then looked down just to make sure his eyes hadn’t deceived him. Yep, the ring was still there — and it probably cost more than a starter house. Delighted by your forwardness, San took it upon himself to tease you, reaching down to slowly unbutton his slim-fitted pants. “Well, if that’s the case…”
Your cheeks turning bright red, you reached downwards to shield his crotch from view, looking up at him with wide eyes, your faces now impossibly close. “I-i was fucking with you! Don’t actually take out your dick…”
San’s sharpened eyes flitted from your gaze to your cherry red lips, letting go of his zipper to gently take your hand in his, pressing it firmly down onto his thigh. “Yet…?” he challenged huskily, wondering if you were like all the others and would yank your hand back, scoff in disgust, and pretend as if it had never happened. It was then that San felt you squeeze your warm hand into the meat of his thigh, your fingers just barely pressing into the inseam of his pants.
“You can be a good boy and wait till the after party, can’t you?” you asked in a lower, sultrier tone, pressing your lips to his cheek to leave your mark on him, your hand moving further up his thigh, only pulling away when you felt something hard press into your palm. Smiling sweetly, you leaned in again, this time allowing your lips to brush over his. “Good things come to those who wait.”
And just like that, you turned forward to focus on the models all gathering onto the stage at once along with the designers, clapping along with the rest of the crowd when they all took a bow. You blew a kiss to one of the designers who caught it and pretended to put it in his pocket.
Still breathless from your short encounter, San nudged your thigh with his own, biting into his lip and tasting the sweetness of your lipstick. You nudged him back, glancing at him through the corner of yours eyes, licking at your own lips, like a predator would before pouncing on their prey.
San couldn’t believe he had finally met someone like you. There was a serpent in his garden — and he couldn’t wait for it to swallow him up.
-
The after party was predictable as always — strangers binge drinking and snorting powder off of your previously pristine marble tabletops, others telling embellished stories about their latest trip to their private islands to various locked-in acquaintances, some off doing god knows what in your many empty guest rooms, and you could not, for the life of you, care about what your husband was currently cackling over with his close friends, focusing on the crackling wood sitting inside the fireplace you were all huddled near. When you inevitably ran out of champagne, you patted your husband’s leg so that he could remove his arm from your waist.
He looked down at you with indifference. “What is it?”
“I need more champagne, honey. I’m going to get some.”
Your husband’s face scrunched up. “Haven’t you had enough? If you drink anymore, you’re going to lose your nice figure.” He looked to his friends for validation who simply nodded along in agreement.
Your husband’s chauvinistic comments didn’t bother you anymore, just his persistent presence in your life. He was like a mosquito that was always trying to drain you, one that you could never seem to swat away. Well, nothing a little dick couldn’t fix. “That’s funny, because I seem to recall the tailor coming in this morning for an emergency visit to alter a certain suit,” you mentioned, this time pushing your husband’s arm away from you, surveying his now quiet friends with an unbothered look, before wandering off, not registering the insecurity driven ramblings that your husband was sending your way.
Once you made your way into the crowded loft, you searched your surroundings for what you were looking for, humming at the sight of the pretty boy from earlier sitting on the large plush couch in the corner, a half-empty champagne flute in hand, his attention on one of the models that had walked for your husband’s collection a few hours earlier. He was even more handsome now that you could study his captivating details, your eyes drifting over his bulky frame, from his large arms and shoulders, to his delicate waist, and down to his spread thighs, zeroing in on what was between them, knowing that the beautiful stranger was blessed in more ways than one based off what you had felt earlier.
Without hesitation, you slowly made your way across the room, your stiletto heels digging into the fur carpet below with each concentrated step, licking your red lips when the model placed one of her hands on San’s thighs and squeezed it, his suddenly submissive expression causing more knots to form within your core. You were going to make him yours.
San could barely hear the pretty model’s words over the loud music and the many overlapping voices inside the loft, not knowing what to say when she moved closer to him, clearly going in for the kill. It was then that someone stood over him, their heel nudging into his loafer. He looked up, his once hazy eyes opening wide at the sight of you standing above him with a bottle of champagne in one hand, your other hand already cradling his face. “M-miss…there you are…”
“Here I am,” you purred, running your fingers along his jaw, satisfied with the fact that your lipstick print was still visible on his tan skin.
San gulped, just about spilling the drink he was still holding onto, unknowingly spreading his thighs open further, as if he was giving you an unspoken invitation to climb onto his lap.
Humming, you lowered yourself into his lap, your plush thighs and ass pressing snuggly against his lower half. “Look at you,” you cooed softly into San’s ear, not caring to give the now fuming model any attention, lowering the cold champagne bottle in between your bodies, chuckling at the soft whimper he let out when it pressed into the exposed sections of his skin. “You’re such a good boy, saving a seat for Mommy like this. Aren’t you, baby?”
“Y-yes, I am, s-so good for you…”
“Then, be good and open your mouth,” you purred, lifting the almost empty bottle and pouring some into your mouth. San’s jaw slowly dropped, not knowing that he was already beginning to drool. You didn’t mind, clutching the sides of his heated face and pressing your parted lips onto his, transferring the sparkling alcohol to him, but not without running your tongue over his.
San brought his hands up near the sides of your ass, his fingers trembling, not knowing if he was allowed to touch you, whimpering into your mouth when you sucked the alcohol off of his tongue.
“You can touch, baby.” You reached for his wrists and brought his hands underneath the hem of your short dress, gasping when he squeezed the softness of your ass in between his ringed fingers and began to slowly guide your hips, your clothed cunt rubbing back and forth over his stiffening cock. “Mm, someone’s eager, hm? You’re a naughty one, making the main designer’s wife grind on your cock like this in front of everyone.”
“It’s…Mommy’s fault…” San murmured near your ear, rolling his own hips up into yours, making you feel every inch of his trapped throbbing cock each time he ground himself into you, biting into his lip at the sound of your breathless moans, swearing he saw your grimacing husband from over your shoulder.
“My fault, huh? Mommy should make up for it, shouldn’t she?” you sighed back onto his heated skin, pressing kiss after kiss onto his collarbones, dragging your tongue along the constellation of freckles he had on his neck, making him shudder underneath you.
“Uh-huh…” San moaned out, your hand suddenly squeezing into and sliding back and forth over his erection, your thumb repeatedly rubbing over the pronounced tip, knowing he was staining his expensive pants with sticky pre-cum. “F-fuck, I’ll cum if you keep doing that…”
“So sensitive, baby, you’re so cute…but you’re not the only one, you know? Look what you did to Mommy~” You gave his balls a gentle squeeze just to hear him whimper, before letting go, instead reaching for his hand again and leading it between your legs, moving your soaked panties to the side just in time for San to fill you up with two thick fingers.
“You’re so wet…” San groaned, unable to keep himself from adding another digit inside your slick hole, beginning to pump them in and out of you, allowing the both of you to listen to the obscene squelching sounds your cunt made each time he finger-fucked you. Something switched inside of San when you began to whine and whimper, and fuck yourself back on his fingers, your eyebrows screwed upwards, begging him for more with your teary, half-closed eyes. “So fucking wet just for me, huh? Hey, Miss, did you know your husband is standing just across the room? Think he’s hard knowing I just got his pretty little wife wetter than she’s been in her entire life?”
“B-baby, don’t tease me like that,” you whispered, not wanting the control you had over him to slip out of your grasp, grabbing onto his shoulders, accidentally causing pieces of his solid outfit to fall off and land onto the leather couch.
“It’s San, Miss, but you can call me Sannie if you wanna be a good girl for me,” he chuckled, shoving his fingers into you up to the knuckles, rolling your clit around underneath his heavy thumb. “And, I’m not teasing you, my love, he’s really watching us, and he looks like he wants to kill me.”
Just as you looked behind you to catch your husband’s displeased gaze, San began to ram his soaked digits into your spasming cunt, feeling his lips, tongue, and teeth on your neck. “O-oh my god, Sannie, oh, fuckkkk…”
Just as your warm arousal began to pour out onto his fingers and lap, San bit down into the area where your neck and collarbone connected, letting out a few stunted groans, his hips jolting up into yours, coating the insides of his designer pants with white.
“Did you just…?” you began, before San stuffed his fingers into your mouth, growing quiet and sucking your arousal off of them. He pulled them out with a pop, but you didn’t even get the chance to continue your question because you were suddenly being lifted up into the air, strong hands clutching your thighs, your legs hooked around San’s waist.
Your defeated, emasculated husband was just a blur when San carried you through the crowded room and up the stairs, not stopping until he got to the largest room at the end of the expansive hallway.
“Which side does your husband sleep on?” San asked, once he stood at the foot of the kingsized bed.
“On the right. Why do you–O-oh,” you gasped as he quickly laid you out on the right side of the bed and lifted your dress up, forcefully spreading your thighs open so that he could bury his face in your cunt, repeatedly lapping at your slit and clit over your soaked panties until he couldn’t take it, reaching up to tear your panties off with ease. “Sannie, baby boy, what’s gotten into you?”
San looked up at you with dark, dilated eyes, reaching up to his broad body to rip off the rest of his outfit, his solid muscles flexing as he closed his fingers around your waist, yanking you lower so that your cunt was closer to his face, looking like he was about to eat you alive. “Daddy��s hungry,” he simply replied, diving back into your cunt to lick and slurp up your juices, tonguing your hole just to feel you clench around him, his nose nudging your clit as he ate you out like a starved man.
Sooner or later, you began to shudder and pant, tugging at the ends of San’s sweaty hair, your thighs pressing into the sides of his head until he forcefully held them down, quickly moving his head up and down as he dragged his tongue roughly over your throbbing clit, his focused eyes never leaving yours. “S-sannie, I’m really, fuck– I’m gonna cum…!”
“Cum for Daddy,” he demanded gruffly, stuffing three fingers into your cunt and pounding them into your g-spot, lifting your ass up with his other hand so that he could catch the stream of arousal that suddenly squirted out of you, some of it inevitably soaking into the satin sheets below you. San licked your juices from his lips, going down to give your puffy cunt one last lick to savor your taste, before standing up from the bed and unbuckling his pants.
“Y-you….Did you get possessed by a demon?” you asked half-jokingly, unable to keep your thighs from trembling, wiping the sweat from your forehead with the back of your wrist.
“And if I did? You’d still let me fuck you, wouldn’t you?” San smiled devilishly, his dimples appearing, kicking off his pants and running his closed hand along his curved, dripping length. He pressed his thighs against the side of the bed, running the tip of his cock over your lips, watching fondly as you sucked and licked the beads of pre-cum that leaked from the slit.
“I would.” Lifting yourself up so that you could completely rid yourself of your disheveled dress, you reached up for the handsome stranger, licking the saltiness from your lips. “Now, come here and show Mommy just how much Daddy wants her.”
San wasted no time climbing back onto the bed and folding you up into a mating press, leaning back to send a few wads of spit onto your cunt, smacking his hand against the wetness for good measure, before he plunged himself deep inside you.
You just about screamed, not ready for San’s unusual size and shape, the curve of his cock rubbing deliciously along your tightening walls each time he pounded himself into you. “S–ann–ie…! It’s so big, fuck– so good!”
“Aww, poor baby’s never had a big cock stretching out her pretty pussy before, huh?” San cooed into your ear, pulling all the way out, just to slam himself back in, hitting your g-spot dead on, making you cry out deliriously. “You’ll never be able to go back to your husband after this. You’re gonna be begging for me to take care of you from now on….” San pressed his lips against yours, sucking on your tongue as you moaned out for him. “Want you to cum for me again, baby…Squirt on my cock, okay?”
“S-Sannie, it’s too much,” you whined out, dragging your nails down his broad back, your toes curling just as San punched your next orgasm out of you when his curved cock once again came in contact with your g-spot.
As you began to cry from the overwhelming pleasure, San licked your tears away, gently pressing his lips into your cheek and jaw, shushing you. “Don’t worry, baby. Daddy’s here for you.” He clutched you close, holding still inside you, as his cock began to twitch. “Here it comes, princess, just for you.” A hot, creamy stream of cum began to shoot out into you, completely drenching your insides with his load.
You could hardly speak at this point in time, solely concentrated on the pleasure that still had a hold on your sore body and the warmth that was filling you up to the brim, suddenly realizing that your husband really wasn’t going to be happy with you. “Y-you shouldn’t have…nnnngh….”
San continued to roll his hips into you, his eyelids fluttering, groans spilling from his throat, your cunt still milking his pulsing cock for all it had, which was a lot, to say the least. Once there was nothing left to give you, San leaned down, pressing one last kiss to your lips, not caring that you had left your lipstick all over him. “Can I ask you something, baby?”
“Y-yes, San?”
San smiled, his glossy brown eyes glistening in the light. “When you have my baby, will you have the heart to tell your poor husband that it’s actually mine?”
Panting heavily and trying to process what the handsome stranger just said, you finally came to the realization that you let someone who didn’t even know your name possibly impregnate you. Well, at least you had something to talk about over breakfast with your husband, rather than hear him go on and on about his latest collection.
“I’m not sure about that one…”
“Can I ask you one more question?”
“Hm?”
“Should I name our baby Dolce or Gabbana?”
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© kitten4sannie, 2024.
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Just reader admiring her boy
"Fuck me" you murmured under you breath, your lips parted and your eyes wide as you watched him. The way his muscles flexed, the determination in his eyes, his perfectly messy hair, he resembled nothing less than a Greek god, truly Apollo reincarnated.
"Think you got a bit of drool there" Lily teased causing Remus to look over at you.
"Huh?" you mumbled still entranced at the sight in front of you.
Remus scoffed in disbelief "I just don't get how you could be so-"
His words were cut off as you turned his chin watching as James hovered in the air, pulling his shirt off with one hand before running a hand through his hair.
"Oh"
"You were saying?" you taunted breathlessly your eyes still trained on James.
"Well I-um I" he gulped.
"Yeah" you agreed, watching as James raised his arms above his head leaning back slightly whilst he let out a laugh.
"Unbelievable" Lily snickered breaking the both of you out of your trance, Remus slightly red in the face. "Looks like he's got some more fangirls" she rolled her eyes "Would you like an 'I love James' shirt? Im sure the fan club has extra"
"Oi! I am not a fangirl" Remus replied offended "He's my best mate but you gotta agree Evans, he's good looking"
"Incredibly good looking in fact" you continued "Like he was sculpted out of marble. He's gorgeous" you sighed resting you head on your palm thoughts filled with images of him.
"Maybe not that far" Remus says watching your dazed state.
"'Maybe not that far' he says" you mimic "Have you seen the man?!?! He's ravishing!!" you exclaim "Bewitching, exquisite. He's the most divine bei-"
"Calm down Shakespeare, your boy's coming this way" Lily rolls her eyes amused.
Suddenly you are embraced from behind a head finding it's place on your shoulder as arms wrap around your waist.
"Hello love" he whispers against your neck, placing a soft kiss.
You let out a pleased sigh before turning in his arms, draping your arms over his shoulders. "Hi handsome." you smile up at him before placing a soft kiss to his lips.
Before James has a chance to deepen it, you are pulled off of him by a smirking Sirius. "No hello kiss for me??" he pouts batting his eyelashes, laughing as you shove his shoulder.
"In your dreams, Black."
"You know it" he winks
"Hey! find your own girl to dream about" James gasps pulling you closer to him "This one's mine"
Yes you absolutely were.
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