#am i really so unimportant to them???
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irritablepoe · 1 year ago
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vent post... again about my friends
was just informed by a friend that my so called "best friend" is going away for a year... great to always be the last that's informed of such things... what should i say to that? "hey, when were you going to tell me that you'll be away for a year???" i hate everything. it's their bday in 7 days and i have no present and at this point i'm questioning if i even want to spend my money on them. i mean not that it makes a difference that they're gone for a year, i barely see them anyways.... that's probably their thought process as well... it doesn't matter that i don't know bc i'm not around in their everyday life.
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donnatroyyyy · 10 months ago
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Dick genuinely doesn’t have a favorite sibling, he’s like the parent that says “I love all my children equally” and you believe it, he actually loves them all equally. He’s been trying to convince them that for the last few years, they don’t believe him, so he does what he has to, he says it’s Steph and let’s her deal with it.
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bunnihearted · 8 days ago
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ཐི ₍ᐢ. ̞.ᐢ₎ ཋྀ
#oooof... it's officially my birthday#and i always have bad anxiety the entire day#just seeing the date on my phone or ipad makes me wanna vomit :///#i just hate it so much....#i know it is dramatic but yeah.. :(( i just dont feel good at all and i never do#it's such a deep feeling of that i am so very unimportant#and all i am is a worthless burden on everyone and i should've never been born#i fantasize abt being important and revered and like...#i feel embarrassed even saying it lmaoooo but i fantasize abt my birthday being inportant#even if i know that as an adult and the older u are the less big of a deal birthdays are#it's just that i missed out on sm of it... so i still wish for it#but i feel silly for even feeling that way bc im asking for too much to be important at all#i feel demanding and unfair and expectant and#it is so much easier to just hate myself and wanna die lmao#rather than ...... disappointment and sadness... even after all of these years i still feel so saf#SAD******#and i see my old friends having birthday parties and dinners with a lot of guests on their birthdays#and they still post on eo's walls and like#i wanna cry..... bc i cant even imagine more than one person doing that for me and barely even that tbh#and ppl.. allowijg ME to be important and centered for one day...? thats batshit insane never would happen#allowing******#i know its oversensitive and dramatic and every year im like god shut the fuck up crybaby#u havent been important for years and years and years get over it%#!!!!!* and i try to do that but still every year i get so unbelieavably depressed#excuse me for still having this childish need to want to be important#the way see all of them be.... 🙄 ugh anyway#i wanna die so i can stop being a bother and a burden and suffer everyday bc im not allowed to exist 🙏#im really trying to be brave and shut up abt it but my entire chest burns and my heart aches i feel so so so bad i just wanna cry but i cant
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kavehater · 3 months ago
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I mean this from a social perspective not a health one : why does everything feel weird right now. Like yes I’m heartbroken about the reality of my position in the lives of my so called friends but now I just feel confused. I don’t understand why I’m not important and why I can’t change to be important to others, nor what makes a person important either.
#like okay yeah I’ve been lowkey crying in the middle of the night because of how unimportant I feel but that’s down pat now we get it#I just want to know why am I not ? like am I doing something wrong ? I could’ve sworn I’m trying my best to not be annoying frustrating and#to be there but the reality of things is that I can’t always be there given my condition#sometimes I wonder how hard it is to ask me a simple ‘are you okay’ or ‘how are you’ or god forbid that I am missed lmao pls fniesksn ignore#the last one I think that’s too much but at least the other two#I don’t want to tell people to ask me these because then it feels fake and that they’re doing it just for the sake of getting me to shut up#about it but I don’t know#dora daily#a reason why I hate insta with my whole life because it just never fails to prove how worthless I really am#like I could’ve died yk … and it’d still be the sahara desert there#anyways I like being alone a lot something I’ve found out about myself#(I hate it actually but I only like it because I cannot make myself do anything like even talking seems so very exhausting so I can manage#with the loneliness when I’m ill but I can’t cope with it when I’m even a smidge better)#sigh.#just sigh. where did I get my friends from and why does everyone seem to love their friends so much but I cannot#don’t get me wrong I talk about how much I love them to everyone and if I don’t I obsess abt them in my head but it is not reciprocated to#be honest. not at all#and that’s what makes me sad. I still love them because I love unconditionally it seems#but from a conditional viewpoint they do not cut it#and that makes me disappointed#that’s why I’d kill to be loved or heck even remotely liked the way I like others even half of that yk#I am not a good person in my eyes but I would do so much just to be liked like that I wish I knew why I’m not worth being liked only worthy#of being tolerated.
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icewindandboringhorror · 10 months ago
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Hrmm... Revising my game and I feel like there's still sooo much writing left to do, for something that probably won't even amount to much, so.. I do want to narrow my focus more (especially given my health problems seeming to get worse/less energy the past few years), but I'm not sure how would be best to...
I currently have 5 characters as the Main ones with full planned questlines and such, with each character having 6 quests you can do for them. But I haven't really started the writing for the 5th main character. So then I was thinking, if I were going to write 6 full quests worth of content anyway... is it better to allocate that time on just doing a Complete 6 Quests for ONE single character, OR would it be better to do something like.. choose THREE side characters and do 2 quests for each of them? So that people have a wider variety to interact with and sort of sample around (of course with the idea that, once the first version of the game is released, IF people actually care about it enough to make it worth the effort, I would then add additional content to complete those 3 characters stories as well)
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SO... If you were playing an interactive fiction sort of game centered around talking to & doing quests for a cast of characters (like there's no larger plot, more it's just about interacting with people, every character kind of has a self contained story, the focus is just learning about them and the world and exploring the area) --- Which would you rather have?
(and of course it would be stated up front which characters have only partial questlines, so people don't expect them to have full quests like the others and then get disappointed, or etc. etc.)
Basically, is it better to just focus in specifically on having one fully complete questline? Or for there to be a few stories that are not complete yet, but have more initial options available?
#I guess I just feel weird about investing too much into characters if possibly nobody will like them. so the idea of being able to sample#around a wider variety opens up the option of like 'hey even if neither of these 4 are your favorite - you have 3 other options soon too!'#or whatever. BUT I also am very anti-the trend of releasing half finished games or shit like that where people preorder and then#the game sucks on actual release and isn't fully playable or good until 5 updates later#HOWEVER.. those are giant companies with hundreds of employees and millions in funding. I feel like it's different for someone#if they're just like ''hey I am getting zero money for this and doing it entirely on my own in my free time and before I do like 50+ hours#of work on top of the 100+ hours of work that I already did - I would like maybe to at least see some proof#people are interested in this - so I'm releasing the game with like a small amount of the originally intended content removed#that I still have planned out and hope to add later and the game is still entirely done and completely functional#except for just a few quests I might add later.. sorry'' etc. etc. ??? like I think that's different. but maybe some people dont see#it that way and would still be like 'grrr.. how dare there be unfinished options..>:V" idk#And the nature of the quests is such that it's not weird to have it be partial like.. again.there's no major plot. it's not like the quests#are leading up to some dramatic thing and having them half done would make it feel like a cliffhanger. It's meant to be very casual just#chilling and doing little tasks and such. And last thing to clarify I guess - by 'side character' I don't mean taking some unimportant bac#ground character and forcing them to have quests. I mean like.. originally the game had 8 full characters and I thought that was#too much so I cut it down to 5. So I still had everything planned for all the side characters too. Id' just be like.. re-giving them#quests and focuses that were already planned from the beginning but that I got rid of.. former main characters banished to the side lol..#ANYWAY... hrmm... hard to decide... It's just so niche I think. I feel more and more like I should just get it to a 'proof#of concept' state and get it out there to interest check rather than invest in it soooo much for nothing. Because I really do not have the#tastes other people do or interact with games or have interest in things in the same way. A lot of the stuff that I love (slow. character#focused things with basicaly no action or plot where its' just about getting to explore a world and learn about#people in a casual low stakes setting but ALSO not romance) I think people find very boring so... lol...#This year as I try to pick the project back up again after abandoning it for like 3 years I keep looking at stuff and going.. ough...#yeah... cut this maybe.. I should cut that too.. I should make them a side character.. remove this.. blah blah..#Though I did ADD a journal and inventory system and other things that like People Expect Games To Have so.. maybe#that will count for something.. hey..you can collect items.. it's not just 'talking to elves for 600 hours simulator'.. are you#entertained yet? lol.... When I was making my other tiny game for that pet website and I gave it to the play testers and someone was like#''it should have achievements so I feel I'm working towards something concrete'' I was literally so blindsided like..??... people WANT that#in games..? is the goal not simply to wander aimlessly &fixate on world/character lore& make your own silly pointless personal goals? I did#do them though because it IS fun to make up little achievement names and such but.. i fear i am out of touch so bad lol..
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courfee · 4 months ago
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just went through all my ao3 fics and edited all the tags because i feel like i overtag a lot and it always bothered me. tbf the most overtagging happens in my relationship/character tags but i find it super difficult to judge who/which relationship is important. like friendships are So Important in my fics i dont feel like i cant tag less there? especially my longer fics. amtc james&sirius and black brothers are in my mind at least if not more important than literally amtc jegulus. i know its a jegulus fic but also jegulus is just the catalyst for other relationship dynamics. how do you tag that stuff
#honestly same with operation wanker#i finally put the wolfstar tag at the end of the relationship list#because genuinely when i first wrote the fic i debated leaving that out completely because i just do not focus on them At All#but considering theyre the very reason for the whole fic i couldnt not tag them#but james and sirius in operation wanker are as important to me as jegulus#and they go through a similar plot line of developing and changing so ?? yk???#idk how to tag i am really bad at it honestly#as you can tell i have exam season#hence me doing anything but the things i should be doing#hp#fic rant#i need a tag for general ramblings#i did take out a lot of character tags in a lot of my fics#like in some of them i literally now have a relationship tag but not the character tag which im also still not sure at#like on lies and spies still has the peter&marlene tag but it doesnt have a marlene tag anymore#and im still debating if i should also take the relationship tag out but also its important for peters actions??? idkkk man i am bad at thi#took out a lot of tags from amtc because i just felt it was too long overall#like i do think they were not completely unimportant but it was such a wall of text i felt a bit overwhelmed#tagging fics where its literally just 2 characters and theyre romantically/sexually involved is so much easier#like on high delight the tags make perfect sense because its very obvious what the focus is on#but i so seldomly write fics that are confined to just a ship (/) dynamic#maybe this is my arospec that ive been eyeing for the past 10 years and keep ignoring showing#i just care about writing relationships (&) so much more honestly#ok thats actually a lie im not tooo good with just platonic fics but i like writing romantic stuff in the context of friendgroups#i like characters having to keep secrets from the people they usually tell evrything to#love exploring characters finding out they have friendship boundaries they previously didnt know about#love writing about trust and and conflicting feelings and having to make choices#also lmao very iconic of me to have 5km of tags on a post of me saying i am prone to overtagging. really proving my own point here
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woolydemon · 4 months ago
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so update on my life. Since I've cut out the person that was shit for me I'm now witnessing them go from making jabs against me on their priv to totally shutting up & Freaking Out when our (formerly) mutual friend I'm in cahoots with blocked them as well. Freaking out so much to the point that they contacted them to try to sort things out... Via their persona twitter roleplay accounts with the //ooc tag and everything.
Wild. Anywya I just ate udon noodles for lunch and had a haircut so I'm doing p good in comparison
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lord-squiggletits · 1 year ago
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The funny thing about my love-hate relationship with Barber is that conceptually, I do understand and agree with the concepts he established/strengthened about IDW Optimus, and I do think that if you want to write a good IDW Optimus you should read some of his stuff and ponder the themes that are trying to be conveyed therein.
It's just that holy shit the actual stories that IDW OP is in, like the plotlines and the reasons things happens and the style they're written in. Dark and depressing but not in a fun way, more focused on plot than character development, fast-paced and has a lot of things happen without much breathing or contemplation room, incredibly horrible plot holes and forcing certain things to happen for the sake of the plot. Like good god in THEORY his stories contain everything I wanted out of phase 2, it's just that the way it was EXECUTED fills me with so much disappointment and anger.
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zevranunderstander · 2 years ago
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hate how scared modern liberal movies are of making characters of color into antagonists of any sort? like i know it depends on what kind of story you want to tell, but if it's a "colorblind" story that's just like, "regency era, but diverse" or whatever and all of the people of color are the kind supporting cast, just go fuck yourself I'm sorry
#persuasion 2022 was sooo dirty w this#like... let actors of color play rancid people too? idk man i want to see characters.#i dont want to see you did the bare minimum and hired a few actors of color#like. in THE BOOK persuasion lady russell was lowkey a mean classist bitch#and they just.... didn't make her a mean classist bitch and just made her a kind mother to anne for nooo reason?#like also. sorry i didn't really super like gl*ss onion#(censoring just so it isn't in the tag)#bc like i get they wanted to critique billionaires. but... i dont think the movie was very smart to be honest#like it has a lot of nice funny details. but like. its all very on the nose and the pacing wasn't that great#and tbh i was like 'woah ballsy move to make leslie odom junior play some guy whose a complete suck up to a billionaire'#but like. he really was theeeeeee most harmless of them like.#this man was so insignificant to the story he was only needed to give exposition like 3 times#same w the politician woman like she had no fucking purpose to the plot#but especially with his character i felt like this could have been a great role but I think the director was too scared#of coming across racist to do anything interesting with the character at all? like what was he there for?#and like ive seen this man act this man is a fucking powerhouse of an actor you know#i was soooo excited that he was in the movie and he played like 'lowkey unimportant character number 3' like i was sooo mad abt that#like did viola davis perform her soul out on god knows how many seasons of how to get away w murder#just so that mainstream now is too scared again to cast people of color in non-'kind supporting cast 🥺' roles???#like i hope i dont sound insane but i am sooo tired of this
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logosbot-tm · 22 days ago
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Sometimes, I want to complain really loudly on tumblr about random shit I dislike, but I know someone would show up to tell me not to do that.
Sometimes, I enjoy when ppl are allowed to have different opinions ✨️✨️✨️ even if they're negative ✨️✨️✨️
Hell, I love hearing opinions I don't agree w. It's neat to hear what someone else thinks and why!
Yes, complain about that random ass thing, that is (completely unimportant) fuck yeah. I disagree with you, but cool that you have different point of view.
Or hell yeah, you like the thing I dislike? Awesome, tell me all about how it makes you happy.
I don't like it, bc I just don't, but fuck yeah I'll listen to your rambles.
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heavenknowsffs · 3 months ago
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I never thought myself a faithful person, not as a quality or anything, just more of a "you should be faithful to friends and family OF COURSE, that's just a given natural thing every human should have" but nothing else, like not to brands or whatever. But..
After having 3 pairs of the same exact earphones and 1 pair of a slightly better and more expensive ones (bc i got it wrong).... like i already knew i was FAITHFUL to this specific product because it never failed me. The reason i had 4 pairs since 2014? (FOUR IN TEN YEARS ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? I USED TO BUY NEW CHEAP EARPHONES EVERY 2 DAYS) is not even because they stopped working on their own, i literally stepped on my first pair, the 2nd one i also stepped on one of the buds, the 3rd one i lost them and got the other better ones by mistake (they're quite better actually but i didn't want to pay extra 10€ but i got them bc they look the same 🥲) nd now i have them both bc i found pair no 3.
Anyway where i'm going with this... sorry if anyone is actually reading all this i just want to get it off my head. But like with phones, i've had a samsung in like? Idek like 2015 and it was great and i've had the same brand since because again, it never really failed me (everytime i changed was either for updates, bc it was stolen or because it went through too much beer on the screen - i.e. the last one and mind you it still works! Just not the screen and i guess it was cheaper to buy a new phone) but i got this new phone which i didn't really want anyway. But i needed for work and etc wtv and it doesn't have an earphone jack which is annoying. But now comes back my faithfulness bc i bought an adapter for my perfectly great earphones and now it DOESN'T WORK bc this phone apparently sucks (i could make an entire essay about them doing this on purpose so you have to buy wireless ones and only use their own brand etc) and i'm just like "ok i'll hang out with my last samsung that works and usa that little one just for music..... BRO THAT IS SO INCONVENIENT???? BUT I AM WILLING TO JUST SO I DON'T BUY WIRELESS ONES
And now you ask "why don't you just use your old phone anyway and why did you get a new one" that is indeed a good question and even though my life would suck immensely using that old thing i kinda wish to go back. But alas i am a photographer and in case ya didn't know that takes up a shit load of memory, as well as needing some apps that that phone cannot support / have space and RAM for 🫠 idk why i chose such an expensive hobby either lmao
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rafesslxt · 6 months ago
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slytherin boys hc realizing they were to rough after an argument and comforting you?😭🙏
thank u for requesting, have fun reading <3
✧.*𝑺𝑳𝒀𝑻𝑯𝑬𝑹𝑰𝑵 𝑩𝑶𝒀𝑺 𝑯𝑬𝑨𝑫𝑪𝑨𝑵𝑶𝑵 | 𝑨𝑭𝑻𝑬𝑹 𝑨𝑹𝑮𝑼𝑴𝑬𝑵𝑻 + 𝑵𝑺𝑭𝑾
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characters: mattheo riddle, tom riddle, theodore nott, lorenzo berkshire, draco malfoy
warnings: fighting, arguing, fluff, mention of make up sex, so a bit smut
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Mattheo Riddle:
let‘s be honest, he would definetly take a moment to realize he actually hurt your feelings
his pride and stubbornness would be in the way at first
but when he sees the first tears rolling down your cheeks he slowly walks towards you giving your forehead a kiss while hugging you tightly and swiping your tears away with his thumb
"I am so sorry princess, I swear you‘re right. I didn‘t mean it like that, you know that, right? I love you so much I would never want to hurt you on purpose. Can you please talk to me again, baby?"
he would pull you onto his lap and rock you slighty while whispering sweet things into your ear telling you how sorry he is and that it won‘t happen again
Mattheo would just cuddle you for the rest of the night and maybe have make up sex with you If you‘re not too mad at him
"I‘m gonna show you how sorry I am princess." he would be a MUNCH and eat you out, never stopping no matter how sensetive you got.
"Want me to stop? Come on baby, one more just one more I promise." his tounge would flick relentlessly over your clit over and over again, his green ties around your wrists making it hard to protest.
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Tom Riddle:
bro would try to manipulate you at first and tell you you‘re overreacting and too sensetive but when you leave the room and don‘t try to reach out to him for a few days..
you got his head spinning
maybe he would wonder why you‘re ignoring him until he remebers your fight which he almost forgot because it was so unimportant to him
i think he would try to get closer to you so you had to talk to him
but when you still wouldn‘t and he notices the hurt in your eyes, he would wrap his arms around you from behind and whisper in your ear how sorry he is
he couldn‘t believe he really spoke these words but you meant too much to him to loose you over an stupid argument he couldn‘t even remember at first
"How difficult was that for you?" you ask when your little frown on your fave disappears and is switched with a smirk. He rolls his eyes and presses you against him, still whispering in your ear.
"Don‘t try your luck too much darling." While his fingers squeeze your sides
100% rough make up sex where he would punish you for not talking to him
"Fuck you think you can just ignore me? Act like I‘m not there?" while he pounds into you from behind, pushing your face down into the pillow.
"What was that darling? Couldn‘t hear you over all the noises you make."
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Theodore Nott:
I have a splitted opinion on Theodore to be honest
on one side he would be the sweetest and comfort you right away without thinking twice about it
but on the other hand I also see him giving you a cold shoulder, also too stubborn and ignorant to realize how much he hurt you
but on either side, when he then would notice how you ignore him he would so something romantic to make it up to you
I just see him with a picnic prepared outside at the lake with your favorite snacks and a plushy for you.
"I‘m so sorry cara mia you mean the world to me, I never meant to hurt you. Please let me male it up to you."
After the picnic and you forgiving him he would pin you down, not giving a fuck who would see you If walking mear by
"Theo! Everyone could see!" you struggle against his fingers on your clit. "hmm let them see how sorry I am principessa."
he would pussy your skirt up and eat you out like Mattheo but without the whole overstimulation
when you come for the first time he wouldn‘t hesitate or waste any time to pull down his pants and fuck you next to the lake
"Fuck we should argue more often If that‘s the outcome of it. Me pounding your tight little pussy amore." You would shoot him a glare but moan his name right after, eyes rolling back
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Lorenzo Berkshire:
He would be THE sweetest ever
but also he‘s someone who try‘s to stay calm during fights but then when he is really mad, he just explodes without thinking
as soon as he sees the first tear rolling down your face he would walk over to you and hug you so tight you almost couldn‘t breathe.
"God y/n I am so so so so sorry I swear it will never happen again! Shit I‘m so stupid I don‘t even deserve you baby."
when you would forgive him and already forgot about the fight you two had, he couldn‘t stop thinking about it.
he was just so sorry he had to show you somehow so the first thing that came to his mind was buying you something you wanted since forever
a fucking puppy
"Enzo! Oh my god you did nooot!" you said in a whiny tone about to cry from happiness
"No no no princess please don‘t cry I can bring him back If you don‘t – " "What? No!" you take him out of his hands and look down into it‘s cute face "thank you thank you thank you!"
after the day went by and you two got everything you need for your new baby, you wanted to thank your boyfriend
"Oh – fuck yes." he‘d groan while you ride him, bouncing up and down "Bloody hell I‘ll give you a whole damn zoo If that‘s what‘s going to happen after." he says while gripping your hips and fucking right up into your thankful pussy
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Draco Malfoy:
he didn‘t know what to do at first, your cold shoulder towards him felt like a knife in his chest even tho he knew he deserved it
he said some things to you in an argument he wasn‘t proud of, too ashamed when he knew you only wanted the best for him
The only thing he knew was showering you in gifts which would work with little things but not this. You wanted him to apologize with real words.
after days of giving you gift after gift he realized for himself that it wasn‘t going to work.
"Darling? Do you have a minute?" he would ask to which you just nod slighty
He would take a deep breath before speaking " I am sorry for what I said. I truly am. And I never should have said that to you or let my frustration out on you I‘m really ashamed of what vame out of my mouth when everything you wanted was just the best mor me."
It felt like a stone fell from his heart after speaking what he had thought for days and your happy face told him it was just what you wanted to hear
"Shit y/n –" he groans when you take him deeper into your mouth, looking up at him with innocent eyes.
"Just wait what we‘ll do after that pretty boy." you chuckled before taking him back knto your mouth and sucking him for dear life.
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thank u for reading I hope u liked it 🫶🏻
taglist: @justarandomcanadiantransdude @helendeath @thatonepansexual2000 @imabee-oralizard @supernaturaldawning @sofa-couch26 @little-miss-naill @kolsangel @itsarajr @jolly4holly @hisparentsgallerryy @slytherinscreamqueen @mixvchelle @littlemadamred @ummmmmmm-username @jeannie-beannie @belle-blue @izriddle @danaeneocleous @sagetakami [if you wanna be removed tell me 💞]
xoxo sarah <3
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gay-dorito-dust · 3 months ago
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Can I please request Bill thinking he finally found a human who won't betray him, someone he really enjoyed the company of (but would never admit to that because Bill) only to find them trying to destroy the portal?
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This is long as shit, be warned and I tried to keep bill in character as much as possible but he might be ooc at some points.
Your first meeting with Bill was one he didn’t expect. When faced with something you know isn’t normal, the response Bill was expecting was you running away until you were out of sight, talking off the ears of anyone who’d head your warning but you instead smiled at him.
‘Nice bow tie and top hat sentient triangle.’ You said.
‘The names Bill Cipher, so you can stop calling me that name, I find it rather insulting, and thanks! I dress to impress but most people just run away or scream bloody murder to appreciate my effort to look presentable’ he replies, finding himself a new human pet to play with after swearing to himself that Sixer would be the last, Bill was a liar and he knew it, messing with humans and destroying their physique was the most genuine fun he’s had in a long, long while.
This was merely the begging of yours and Bills weird friendship and it was only going to get weirder from this point onwards.
Being friends with a sentient triangle dream demon was…a experience indeed as you’d often wake to him floating above you, drinking something through a silly straw and wearing a hat unlike the usual slim black top hat he wore, only to find out that he had somehow snuck several chicken into your room that had scaly dragon legs and could breath fire.
That took a while for you to get ride of them with a wooden broom and not have it set on fire when the chickens retaliate with fire.
‘How did you find such things?’ You’d ask Bill when sitting down to eat breakfast.
He shrugs. ‘You search for a realm that swaps certain anatomy of animals and play a demented game of mix and match to see what monstrosities to humanity could be made and bingo! Infinite possibilities of scaring or scaring people for the rest of their lives! ha ha!’
‘And chickens with dragon feet and could breath fire is your go to choice, wasn’t there anything else you could’ve chosen from?’ You inquired as you took a bite of your breakfast and immediately grimacing when you felt something was off.
‘Oh sure there was and- oh you’ve found where I put my mealworms from last week.’ Bill casually told you as he plays with his silly straw while you spat your breakfast out into a nearby bin, wiped your mouth before pushing the plate away from you as your appetite was ruined.
'glad to be of help. buddy.' you replied as you decided that it would be best to wait for bill to disappear before attempting to eat and or drink again.
As the weeks progress Bill found himself enjoying your company more than he originally suspected, sure you were fun to mess with and play impractical pranks on from time to time. However -and he’ll never admit this ever- he had come to actually enjoy spending time with you and getting to know you outside of his personal human plaything.
Bill begrudgingly remembered your least favourite family member and why, your favourite colour, your first pets name and so much more that he would deem unimportant; to things that were deep and personal to you such as your fear of being alone or not taken seriously enough. To which he offered some -albeit questionable- advice.
‘Listen if everyone takes themselves seriously or someone wants everyone else to take them seriously, then who’s going to laugh at kids when they fall over, or at people who make an fool of themselves as they fall upon their own sword of hubris.’ Bill tells you once as you both sat on the roof of your home, star gazing.
‘And what am I meant to take away from all that ?’ You asked, not understanding what he was getting with this.
‘Don’t take yourself too seriously or expect others to either when you know that version of yourself will be someone you’ll sooner regret wishing for.’ Bill responded.
‘Do you miss home?’ You then asked him out of the blue and Bill couldn’t help but be a little taken aback by it.
‘Home..’ bill trailed off as he took his hat off, reached a hand inside and pulled out a glowing atom, the remains of his home. ‘This is what remains of my home.’ He tells you rather sombrely, remembering the last time he told a human of his origins, only for him to dedicate himself into destroying him.
‘I’m..I’m so sorry I didn’t-‘ you’d tried to apologise but bill held up a hand as he returned the remains of his home back into his top hat before putting it back on his head.
‘It’s fine. I was bound to tell you about that sooner or later.’ He waves his hand but you could tell you struck a nerve.
‘Sooo…what happened to your home, only if you don’t mind me asking.’ - you
‘It was destroyed by a monster.’ Bill answered with a distant look in his eye.
‘As stupid as this will probably sound to you but you’ll always have a home with me, I hope you know that.’ You told him with the most genuine smile across your face and Bill couldn’t help but feel…touched by your words. He’s thrown and done everything to push you to the brink and all you’ve done was withstand him and his shenanigans all the while standing your ground.
‘You’re a strange human and your sentimentality makes me physically sick but…I guess I appreciate the thought.’ Bill had to force himself to say, he might as well have swallowed down stones with how hard it seemed for him to say anything remotely considerate. You were quite possibly the only human that showed him kindness and compassion and that made the dream demon feel weird and out of his depth.
Now that Bill was thinking about it not once had you ever given him a reason to distrust you, sure he was suspicious of you at first, but overtime you have proven yourself to be the most trustworthy person in his long, long life. You had made him feel unlike anything he’s felt before and that made him on edge, just in the case that he was being lured into a false sense of security later down the line, but nope you didn’t do such a thing and stayed open and honest him no matter what.
It almost made bill feel bad about the shit he put you through but soon he’d come to regret saying these words, for not even a week later and Bill caught you red handed destroying his portal after searching the house for you when you didn’t greet him like usual.
‘WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!’ He screamed, his body burning brightly at the betrayal you’ve just committed, was everything you said a lie? Were you just as good at pulling people along as he was? How long have you been waiting for this exact moment to get back at him?
‘What does it look like, I’m destroying the portal.’ Your reply was stone cold as you continued to dismantle the portal piece by piece while Bill shouted profanities at you.
‘YOU LIED TO ME!’ - bill
‘That’s cute coming from someone who takes sick enjoyment in breaking every human he comes across, pushing them into utter madness with no remorse!’ You chuckled humourlessly as you looked at the dream demon who looked about ready to either cry or combust.
‘YOU LIED TO ME!’ Bill repeated as his anger only grew stronger the more he began to think back on all of your heart to heart moments and wonder whether they were fake too? Did you not mean it when you said that he had a home with you?
‘I didn’t lie, I just didn’t tell you the whole truth.’ You retorted. ‘Now are you going to shut up and kill me or keep ranting on how I somehow betrayed you because either way I don’t care.’ You added as you watched the triangular demon closely.
‘Kill you? Oh no sweetie, you’ve just earned a fate WORSE THEN DEATH! Eternal torture until you speak the truth and then torture you so more because I find your pathetic humans pain funny!’ Bill laughed maniacally. ‘And to think I was starting to like you, you just had to go and stab me in the back!’
You shrug, trying to hide how scared you were in this moment, knowing that even if you did scream for help it would be far too late by the time Ford, Stan or either dipper or Mabel to save you and you were okay with that. ‘First time for everything right?’ You asked with a smile. ‘I’m sure you’ll get use to it sooner or later.’
Bill’s eye was wide and looking maniacal in the moment as his voice was oddly and unnervingly calm that it froze your blood. ‘You humans might act brave in the face of danger, but what I’m capable will have you wishing you never picked up that wrench or tried playing the hero. For playtime is over.’
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imrllytootiredforthis · 7 months ago
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The ‘bad’ kind of desire
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pairing: soobin x reader
synopsis: you can't touch him, because he's too innocent, too sweet. but god you wish you could.
warnings: implied fem reader (can't remember if it's outright said), dom reader, sub soobin, masturbation, fingering, lowkey corruption kink, mentioned mommy kink, think that's really it
a/n: the first portion of this fic has been in my drafts since roughly july last year and was in my notes app for a few months - at least - longer than that so don't even ask me how old this really is, but at least it's out!!😭
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“Am I bad person?”
Beomgyu scoffs, looking at you with eyebrows raised. He nearly laughs at the ridiculous statement coming from your mouth.
"What?"
And that makes him lose it, unable to even hold it back as he barks out a laugh, looking at you as if you've grown a second head. 
It’s a hard thing to fathom coming from you given that you’ve definitely never had any qualms about your morality when it comes to this kind of stuff. “Really? You’re asking me that?”
His best friend sits across the room, oblivious to the conversation, his headphones pulled over his ears, the game he’s playing flashing on the computer screen in front of him.
Soobin.
Sweet sweet Soobin, messy blonde hair left unbrushed, pajamas still on, not bothering to change as this was all he was planning to do all day.
Sweet Soobin who you can’t help but want to play with. 
Who you can’t help but imagine how pretty he’d look with tears in his eyes.
"I'm not fucking around Gyu-am I a bad person?"
You groan and flop over on the couch, rolling over to rest your head in Beomgyu’s lap, looking up at him with a comically-in his opinion-concerned expression. 
He gives you nothing but an exaggerated eye-roll. "Don't even start."
“But aren’t I?” You look again at the boy across the room, wondering why, why he had to be so stupidly adorable. His lips were twisted into a small pout and why it was so fucking cute.
Why? You wondered, feeling like this was all you were doing nowadays.
Beomgyu resists the urge to roll his eyes at you for the second time in a row, now at the way that you look at his best friend like some kind of lovesick fool, especially considering that all you really wanted was get into his pants. It didn’t really make sense, but hey, who was he to judge? 
“Why? Just because you want to rock his shit? Step on him and make him cry? That makes you question your morality? Out of everything that you've done?”
You gasp, slapping his chest. “He’s right there.” You hiss, not exactly denying the words.
He ignores that, shoving you off of him. He knows as well as you do that those headphones are the expensive noise cancelling ones that he'd gotten from you last Christmas. He barely hear himself yelling at his online teammates much less your hushed conversation.
You look at him as if you want to take him out on a nice picnic date and let him lay his head in your lap while playing with his hair pointing at clouds. Which Beomgyu couldn’t really see in any world, you were never really the type. 
But who knows? Maybe you were really just that eager for his dick at this point-or the more probable scenario-have him on your dick, that it broke something inside you.
“Why’re you so concerned now? Not like you had any issues with Yeonjun or Taehyun. Hell, you kept up everyone else in the dorms,” His voice goes higher as he attempts to poorly mock his roommates. “‘Y/N, more~’ ‘please, I need it-need y-‘“
“Shut the hell up.” You spit, quickly covering his mouth with your hand while your eyes flicker once more to him, still staring intently at his game.
Really, why were you so concerned now? 
Beomgyu was right. You’d had no problem doing the same to them, to Tae and Yeonjun, but they were different-he was different. 
Soobin was different than any of them. They were the product of having fun with someone you knew like the back of your hand and vice versa. Simply satisfying-albeit unimportant-a matter of getting your rocks off with people you knew could find your clit and would let you hit it from the back.
Soobin was Soobin though. The sweet boy who looked at you with the most innocent smile. 
Who got all blushy and embarrassed when you so much as lightly and non-vulgarly flirted with him.
He’d squeak and duck his head away when you called him bunny - again, non-vulgarly, trying to hide the fact that he was blushing and it turned him on-just a little bit.
In other words, painfully obviously, it was clear.
“He’s a virgin!” You hiss, hand still clamped over his mouth despite his garbled reply. You know just as well as Beomgyu knows how bitchless his friend is. Despite the fact that offers for him were nearly endless he was too shy, too awkward to accept said advances. “-I can’t take that away from him, it needs to be special, it needs-“
Your hand, still over his mouth is touched by something warm and wet and you shriek, pulling away quickly with a look of disgusted horror. “Are you serious right now?”
“Fight me bitch, I will not hesitate.” He growls, looking triumphant with the fact that you’ve now backed up to the edge of the couch.
You roll your eyes at him, looking once again at Soobin.
Fuck, why does he have to be so adorably innocent?
Beomgyu rolls his eyes, wiping at his mouth. "Just trust me, he'd be happy to be used by you. He might be a virgin, but he's nowhere near innocent."
"And what do you mean by that?" You sit against the arm of the couch, wiping Beomgyu's saliva onto the cushions.
He lets out a dry laugh, glancing back at Soobin before reaching for the previously forgotten remote control. "It means he wouldn't be as freaked as you think he would be if he found your sex toy collection."
—-
You suppose Soobin had always been special in some sort of way.
Always there over the span of time that you'd known all of them. Sitting off to the side while you hung out with the others. In his own room while you were fucking around with his other roommates. Playing his game while you were hanging out with Gyu.
He'd caught your eye more than once or twice, or three times over the years.
He was hot. You'd never discount that. Hot in the loser-y, adorable, cute, corruptible kind of way.
But then again, that kind of was your type if you thought about it.
You'd never been particularly close with him like you'd been with the others. He'd never made much effort to hang out with you but he was there when all the others were, if not one-on-one.
And he got really, really embarrassed when you tried to flirt with him like you did the others.
You didn't mind much, you'd just come under the impression that he was kind of scared of women. Which was also kind of cute.
But Beomgyu was right when he'd said that you'd never cared much about morals in the first place.
It didn't matter how close of friends or if they were a virgin or whatever other silly things that made things like that 'trivial'.
Life was too short to pretend you didn't feel things and besides. Sometimes, you really, just...didn't care.
And it wasn't personal, when you wanted someone, you would pursue it and if there was now friend groups you'd single handedly broken up, well they'd clearly made it personal themselves because you always made it very clear that there was no feelings involved.
Besides the raw, hot tension that made your skin tingle like your nerves were livewire.
Soobin was different though, special.
You felt bad for wanting him. For wanting to dirty him up.
He was something pure, something beyond and above you, perhaps and that was something you weren't willing to ruin, no matter what Beomgyu told you.
—-
"Fuck," he panted, "please,"
The room was dark, the light of his laptop being the only thing illuminating his face.
"Please,"
Sounds filled his ears through the crappy pair he'd owned for years, refusing to get wireless ones.
"Please."
"Bet you fucking like that, don't you?" The voice, only a few octaves higher than your own, still sent shivers down his spine.
Close enough.
"You're a such a dirty slut, you know?"
He whined into his sleeve, a sweater paw pressed over his mouth to keep the moans at bay. "I'm sorry, no, no please I'm sorry~" It wasn't doing a very good job muffling his voice though.
"I need it~"
The video seemed to respond to his desperate pleas. "If you need it so fucking bad then you'll be a good boy and wait for mommy's permission. You hear me?"
Or maybe he'd just watched this video so many times he'd memorized all of the male counterpart's lines. "Yes mommy," he panted, "I'll be good, I-I'll wait for your permission!"
He wouldn't. He knew he wouldn't.
He couldn't, as much as he prided himself on being a good boy. This time he knew he wouldn't even make it through the seven minute and thirty-two second video.
Not with you in the next room.
He couldn't tell if you were with Yeonjun or Taehyun. It didn't really matter either way.
Because he would only focus on you.
You weren't loud, having endured enough of Beomgyu's teasing and gripes about your sexual habits. He decided he hated Beomgyu for that.
But he could hear your pants through the paper-thin walls, heavy and followed by your quiet praises. "Sweet boy," you cooed, just as the porn on his laptop continued, "Naughty boy, such a messy little-" He ripped the earbuds out mid-sentence.
He wanted to hear you.
Not some substitute for the real thing.
He could imagine if you walked it on him right now.
Laying spread out on his bed, pants not even all the way off-just messily pulled below his hips, just enough for his dick to breathe properly and for his hand to easily slide up and down with the amount of pre-cum leaking from the tip.
"Fucking please." He moaned, quiet and needy.
You'd see him a mess, his soaked through sleeves catching the drool from his lips, teeth biting into the soft fabric to keep from crying out too loud.
You'd see him shamelessly fucking up into his fist, calling out pleas with no one there to hear him.
"C'mon baby, you can take it, take it all for me." Your voice was accompanied by the wet sounds of what, Soobin wasn't completely sure but his mind quickly conjured a few different theories. "That's it, a little more~"
Fuck him, he wished you were speaking to him.
Cockwarming him, your pussy wrapped around his dick, warm and wet and squeezing around him so good. Fluttering kisses over his face and throat as you teased along the length of him, slowly lifting up just to agonizingly sink back down onto him, clenching tight while he moaned into a kiss.
Or stroking him to another orgasm, making him cum again and again until his body was shaking and tears streaming down his cheeks. Telling him he could take more, do it one more time, for you. Because whatever pain you'd inflict would be worth it, after all it was your hands doing the damage.
"Fuck you look so pretty like this, just makes me wanna fucking wreck you. Turn you into a mindless whore on my dick."
Fuck, so that was what it was.
His mind managed to come up with one more picture through the haze.
You'd have his wrists pinned over his head with one hand, over him, keeping him down with a surprising amount of strength.
God, he could imagine the way you'd look at him. Maybe you'd be kind and gentle, sweet words and a sweet hand, fulfilling every one of his fantasies while calling him your sweet little bunny.
Like you were with whoever you were with on the other side of that wall.
But he doubted it. Or, he hoped not at least.
In his head you'd be meaner, crueler. Look at him with dark, hungry eyes and watch in a sadistic sort of glee when he cried, when he whined, when he begged and pleaded for more.
You'd thrust into him, hard and punishing, slowing down just to make sure that he wasn't crying from serious pain before you'd slam your hips against his, driving the tip of the toy dead into his prostate.
He'd beg you, plead you to slow down, to be nicer to him.
You'd tell him no. Tell him to be a good boy, voice patronizing and low, tell him only good boys get rewards.
God, that’s what he needed right now.
Needed you.
Your words, your touch, your scent, your presence even. You eyes on him, watching as he fell apart.
Not you fucking someone else in a different room.
Liquid heat flowed through his body, scorching and consuming every coherent thought.
"More."
He imagined it was you. Your hands all over him, pressing up against his throat, fondling his balls, purposely, maliciously ignoring where he needed to be touched most while you drove into him over and over and over until he was screaming in ecstasy.
It wasn’t enough, not nearly 
"You just love my cock, don't you angel? Love being fucked by me into a mindless whore?"
He silently cracked the lube open, lathering his fingers in it before letting them drift lower.
He'd done this before, but it had been awhile and the stretch was beyond overwhelming with your words ringing through the wall.
“You’re just a little angel, aren’t you, bunny?” And he pressed a finger inside, thrusting shallowly, breath picking up as you got louder.
"No, you're not an angel. You're a fucking whore, taking it like you were made for it, huh?" A second finger, following the first, scissoring himself open with a quiet gasp.
"Yeah? Fuck, is that it?" You laugh and he swears it's right in his ear, ringing through his head. "'m gonna make you scream for me baby,"
He whines in frustration, his fingers not deep enough - you not deep enough inside of him. No, he needs it deeper, harder.
More.
"Get on top of me baby, ride me," you mutter, so far but so close.
He can imagine, as he settles on his knees, that the pillow he straddles is you. That his legs are around your hips. That his fingers, positioning on the bed under him is your dick and your hands are pressing against his hips, holding him in place.
"You're mine, you hear that? Mine. My perfect little slut, taking my cock like a pretty little slut." His body trembles, eyes rolling back as he slowly sinks down onto three fingers.
"Your's." He moans in reply.
And finally, finally, he reaches his prostate, hitting it head on with his fingers.
Stars burst behind his eyelids as they slip shut, back arching into the intrusion. He could cry, he thinks distantly that he maybe is.
But it doesn't matter.
Because your hands are on his hips, controlling his movements, leading him the way you want him to ride your cock.
Up,
"Slut." You whisper.
and down,
"Whore." You lean up, teeth nipping at his neck but not hard enough to leave marks.
over,
"Baby," Breathing over the shell of his ear.
and over,
"Good boy~" Teasingly biting at his earlobe.
harder,
"Bunny," Kissing along his jaw.
faster,
"Mine." Across his cheek.
deeper.
Just barely there, ghosting across his lips-
"-Cum for me baby,"
And he does. With his mouth hung open, drool covered sleeve long forgotten over. With his eyebrows furrowed and body curled into itself, fingers pressed against his prostate.
Ropes of cum covering his chest, and his face. Some reaching his lips and his chin, staining his skin and landing in his open mouth.
"Fuck,"
And on the other side of the wall, "Good boy,"
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a/n: i was thinking about making a part two but honestly if it took me a year to find the inspiration to finish this one, i'm not sure a second one will ever come out😭
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allaboutsturns · 5 months ago
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𝐃𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐭'𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮.
matthew sturniolo x reader
content/warning(s): angst, fluff, arguing, swearing, kissing.
summary: you and matt get into an argument after you guys go too long without communication. harsh things are said but in the end you guys work it out and listen to each other.
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Don't cry, or do whatever makes you comfortable
I'm tired too.
you looked at matt who sighed for the fifth time within ten minutes, finally deciding to ask him what was wrong, "are you okay, baby?" you asked, your eyebrows furrowed slightly. your boyfriend looked over at you and shrugged, "fine." he muttered out the single word and you tilted your head at his dismissive attitude.
"don't seem fine." you said under your breath, just loud enough for him to hear not exactly what you said but that you had said something, "huh?" he asked, now facing you on the couch. you shrugged in response.
he rolled his eyes in your direction but you ignored it and looked away, crossing your arms over your chest. "god you are so annoying, y/n. i don't know why you're acting like this right now. can we not?" you felt your heart pang as the words repeated in your head, 'god you are so annoying, y/n.'
you turned your body to face your boyfriend whom you loved so entirely, "annoying?" you asked as tears tugged at the rims of your waterlines. matt nodded slowly while pinching the bridge of his nose, "yeah. i constantly have a headache because of you, all you do is talk and get in my business and i'm so sick of it." he groaned before looking directly into your watery eyes, shooting a glare into them. it was a look of genuine disgust and annoyance.
it felt like someone had ripped your heart right out of your fucking chest and stomped on it in front of you. after a couple seconds of silence and staring at each other a quiet sob escaped your gentle lips and tears began to race down your cheeks, "fuck you, asshole. if you don't want me around because i give you headaches all the time you coulda just said that." you quickly reached your hands up to cover your face before you got up off the couch and quickly walked to you and matt's shared bedroom.
there's nothin' left to say.
matt watched you exit the room, his eyes followed your movements closely. your tears and words hadn't registered in his mind until you were unable to be seen from his position on the couch. his heart dropped to his stomach but he sat there for a moment. he felt guilty almost immediately and wanted to apologize but he wasn't sure if you'd want him to.
let's call a truce,
'cause i don't really wanna go to bed
like this.
after about thirty minutes of sitting in complete silence, matt got up and began slowly walking over to your bedroom. he pinched the bridge of his nose harshly, "fuckin' idiot." he whispered to himself, disappointed with the role he played during the recent argument.
he reached one of his hands towards the doorknob and slowly twisted it open, "y/n...?" he spoke gently, as if anything he were to say in this moment could break you to pieces like a fragile glass sculpture. when his eyes landed on you his heart broke even more than it already had.
you were curled up on his side of the bed wearing one of his hoodies. you were holding his pillow tightly, breathing in as much of his scent as you could just in case this was the last time you would get to. your body heaved up and down as quiet sobs continued to leave your lips, tears still streaming aggressively down your face and onto the pillow. some tears managed to stain the cloth of his hoodie but that was entirely unimportant to him in this moment.
he quietly closed the door and walked over to the end of the bed, "baby, i am so sorry." he whispered while sitting down at your feet, placing a hand on your calf. you didn't realize he had come in because you have this habit of blocking everything out when you're upset, it was a defense mechanism.
you buried your face further into the pillow, too scared to look at him, "annoying..." you whispered. it was muffled because the pillow was covering your entire face. matt's face twisted into an expression of guilt and sorrow. he started moving his thumb back and forth gently against the comforter that covered your body.
"i didn't mean it..." he muttered, still so scared that you would crack at any moment. you moved the pillow away from your face and looked at your boyfriend who looked absolutely crushed. you had mascara running down your face and your eyes were red and puffy, tears staining your cheeks. he moved his hand from your calf to your cheek, wiping a stray tear away with his thumb.
i don't know what it's like to be you,
i don't know what it's like but i'm dying to.
"i don't know what it's like to be you," he stated quietly, "but i do know that you're so scared of being annoying..." he paused for a moment when he felt his throat closing up, "and i took advantage of that because i was frustrated, stressed, and overwhelmed," he sighed, looking down at the hand that remained in his lap, "i let my emotions get the best of me and i know that's not an excuse but i am truly sorry." he rubbed his thumb against your cheek gently before looking back at your face, sorrow and guilt painting his beautiful blue eyes that you loved so much.
"do you hate me..? am i annoying...?" you finally mustered up the courage to ask the question that was burning a whole in your brain. he shook his head frantically and took one of your hands in his free hand, squeezing it three times. you guys did this thing ever since you started talking, knock three times, honk three times, squeeze three times. it was another way the two of you said 'i love you' without saying it.
"no, honey. not at all. you are my moon and all my stars, i could never get annoyed by you," he reassured, "i promise." he took his hand out of yours and reached a pinky towards you, "pinky." he said as he interlocked your pinky fingers. he planted a gentle kiss to your lips while your pinkies were still intertwined together.
you pulled your pinky away from his and smiled gently, "okay," you said quietly, the vibrations of your voice hurt your sore throat so you couldn't speak loudly. he smiled gently at you, "okay.." he whispered in reply.
no matter what you say i won't love you less,
and i'd be lying if i said that i do.
"i love you, no matter what i say i will always love you." he said as he pulled you further onto him. you guys had been cuddling for about an hour now, just listening to each other's calm breathing. you were extra lucky because you got to listen to his beating heart which was one of your favorite things to do in the entire world.
"i love you so much, baby," you paused and nuzzled further into his chest, "i always have and always will." you said as you forced yourself away from his chest, placing a gentle kiss to his lips before returning yourself to the comfortable position you had just been in.
you tapped the side of his ribcage three times and he kissed the top of your head three times.
i don't know what it's like.
the two of you eventually fell asleep in each others arms, both knowing damn well that next time there would be communication and discussion of feelings. it's so important to you and matt knows that. it's important to him too but he looses sight of that sometimes, and that's okay. he'll make sure to work on his communication skills because you're not someone that he ever wants to loose.
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Y'ALL it's been so long omfg i'm so sorry that i forgot to feed u guys... i love u so much i hope this suffices. i've been so fucking busy and the writers block has been literally insufferable bro. i have like 2 drafts written up for u cuties i js need to gain the motivation to actually finish them. i've also been listening to shawn mendes and why don't we again so expect fics based around those songs. anyways, love u guys xx!
also i js wanna say thank u guys so much for 200 followers! we're already almost to 300 and it's mind blowing. the amount of gratitude i feel because of the overwhelming support is unreal. i truly appreciate n love u guys soso much!
- ace <3
taglist: @whoisabbyysblog @mattyblover07 @b2cute @samandcolbyfan22 @h3arts4harry @nickgetsmewetter
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jihyoruri · 8 months ago
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❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ 𓍢 THAT GIRL (she’s delicious) kim chaewon x reader
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↳ warnings: idol au, 6th member reader, pt 2 of rich girl yn drives chaewon even more crazy
THERE IS NOBODY THAT CHAEWON hates more than yn right now, how can one human being have such and ego? how can she be so sure of her self?
ever since yn has come up with the ridiculous idea that chaewon has a crush on her, which she doesn’t. she hasn’t let it go.
all she does is constantly tease the leader and become a royal pain in the ass, more than she usually is, everything she does has been getting on chaewon’s nerves.
like right now.
chaewon clenched her fists at yn’s irritating giggle as she leaned against kazuha interlocking her hands with the japanese girl who quietly listened to the girl rant about completely unimportant things with a small smile on her face.
she doesn’t understand how kazuha could deal with her and for some reason it bothered her how close the two were.
it always felt like there was something more, sakura told her that she was being dramatic and even if there was something going on why does it matter.
“it matters because I don’t want anyone I care about dating that demon.” is what chaewon had said to the older girl who rolled her eyes in response muttering a “yeah right.” clearly not believing chaewon’s reason. “what’s that supposed to mean?” she asked the older girl who just ignored her, “that girl is evil.”
chaewon scrunched her face in disgust watching the duo, she walked over to them with determination, “why are you guys fooling around, we’re supposed to be practicing.”
kazuha flinches at the leaders tone while yn just flipped her hair over her shoulder and looked at her nails, her hands still interlocked with kazuha’s.
chaewon narrowed her eyes at their hands, getting a weird feeling in her chest, which was definitely not jealousy and was concern for kazuha.
“why are you so pissy?” yn asked, chaewon opened her mouth to respond but was cut off by yn, “how does my nose look?” she asks turns her head to side to show her side profile, “I think a nose job is the way to go right now.”
chaewon squinted at the girls antics, while kazuha shakes her head, “your nose is perfect.” she says.
“oh my gosh really?” yn asks leaning her face closer to kazuha’s with a smile on her face, “are you just saying that?”
kazuha was about to respond but was cut short by a very irritated leader, “who cares!? and I am not pissy.”
“you so are.” yn says holding her hand out towards the leader who looks at it in confusion, “pull me up.”
chaewon rolls her eyes and pulls the girl up from the floor a little too harsh which caused yn to lean into her extra close.
“and I know exactly why.” she whispers and chaewon’s eyes widened at their close proximity.
yn then leans away from her and turns to kazuha who got up as well, “well, let’s practice.”
chaewon watched as they walk towards eunchae and groans, what does she mean “she knows why”? how cocky can that girl be?
this going to be a long practice.
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practice was long over and chaewon laid her bed staring at the ceiling while the simpsoms played in the background on her laptop.
she has to set the record straight with yn, the more days go on the more yn keeps dragging this crush thing.
she lets out a sigh and gets up from her bed and walks over to yn’s room she rolled her eyes at the gold door knocker on the girls door, she’s so extra.
chaewon reluctantly uses the door knocker and opens the door when she hears a soft “come in.”
when she walks into the room genie by snsd fills her ears as it plays from yn’s sparkly cd player.
it felt like walking into a new world, she’s never been in yn’s room before and it looks like sharpay evans barfed all over it.
she slowly walked into yn’s room and glanced at the floor looking at yn’s cat who slept on her crown shaped bed.
she turned to look at yn stood at her dancing and singing along to the song.
“did you know I actually have an exact replica of the outfit they wear for this song you know the white one with the fur?” yn says not even glancing at chaewon, still looking through her closet.
“daddy’s money?” chaewon asks leaning against yn’s dresser.
“tiffany unnie actually, she gave me the one she actually wore like a year ago, best moment ever, she’s like the older sister I never had now.”
chaewon raises her eyes brows in surprise but doesn’t let her voice show it, “oh yeah, you only have brothers right?”
“yep.” yn says before finally turning around to face chaewon, “now, why are you here? finally confessing your love?”
chaewon rolls her eyes as she watches yn laugh at her own words and sat on her fluffy bed, “that’s definitely it right?”
“no.”
“I’m actually here to talk about that.” chaewon says and yn raises a brow intrigued.
“I don’t have a crush on you.” chaewon says firmly and yn tilts her head to the side, “really?”
“yep.” chaewon says mocking the girls words, “no love here.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“what?!”
“just look at how you were acting at practice today.” yn says, chaewon thought the girl was looking her but she was actually looking at herself in the mirror behind her, “you’re obsessed with me, look at how acted over me just being close with zuha who is my best friend.”
“best friend.” chaewon mutters, “yeah right.”
“see, you’re so jealous.”
“I am not!”
“you so are.”
chaewon groans and throws her head back, how can she convince yn she doesn’t have a crush on her, maybe reverse psychology…
chaewon curses herself for what she’s about to do and tries to clam herself down from the feeling of fluster she already feels because she knows it’s gonna skyrocket after she does this.
she marches over to yn who looks at her with a taunting smile on her face, she grabs both sides of the girls face and smashes her lips onto yn’s, a surprised yelp escaping from the girl.
for a millisecond she feels yn kiss back but she immediately pulls away, chaewon can’t help but smile at the shock on the girls face.
she’s been waiting for the day that yn would become speechless and it seems like today is the day.
“would someone who has a crush on you do that? she asks with a smug smile.
yn is silent for a second before a smile slowly makes its way to her face and chaewon’s slowly disappears.
“yes, yes they would.”
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