#I just want to know why am I not ? like am I doing something wrong ? I could’ve sworn I’m trying my best to not be annoying frustrating and

[fastandcarlos]

On The Mend : ̗̀➛ Oscar Piastri

summary: with your lack of presence in the paddock, fans are starting to worry, little do they know that you happen to be a little broken back at home

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liked by landonorris, danielricciardo and 849,183 others

oscarpiastri: another successful week of racing, super proud of the whole team to get the car all the way to P2 this weekend 🏆🏎️

35,058 comments

username1: congratulations oscar, such an awesome drive!!

username2: just a shame that yn wasn’t there to see it once again 🙄

landonorris: so proud of you osc 😭😭😭

username3: surely they can’t still be together, she hasn’t shown her face in weeks…

charles_leclerc: mum is very proud that the two of us were on the podium btw

oscarpiastri: @/charles_leclerc it was all thanks to her pep talk ofc

username4: we’ll still support you osc even if yn won’t

mclaren: the whole team is so proud of you, congratulations oscar!

username5: enjoy the celebrations, I’m sure the team will be there for you at least 🥲

danielricciardo: congrats brother, always nice to see you repping for down under

username6: either something must be seriously wrong or yn really just doesn’t care anymore 😭

maxverstappen1: hell of a drive from you, great to see you back where you belong!

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ynusername posted two private stories

replies

georgerussell63: thanks for reminding everyone I got a penalty yn 😂😂

oscarpiastri: make sure you’re resting, you don’t need to worry about the race sweetheart!!

ynusername: I’ve never missed a race of yours 😩

danielricciardo: why tf are you in hospital and why didn’t you tell me immediately so that I could help!!

nicolepiastri: sending you lots of love sweetheart, sorry we can’t be there to help you 💕

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oscarpiastri: I promise to sneak you in loads of snacks as soon as I’m there 💞

lilymhe: I miss you so much, hope you’re recovering well girlie

landonorris: he’s on the first flight outta here straight back to you 🧡

carmenmmundt: sending you all the healing vibes in the world ❤️

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liked by charles_leclerc, logansargeant and 812,948 others

oscarpiastri: wish me luck on the flight, some weird passenger keeps looking over their shoulder at me 👀

36,950 comments

username7: that poor pilot having to drive these two home lmao

danielricciardo: now you get to experience my struggle before you came along 😭

oscarpiastri: @/danielricciardo idk how you ever did it 🤦🏻

username8: at least oscar has lando to celebrate with even though others have abandoned him

alex_albon: why else do you think we offered to take you home on our plane instead?! 😂

username9: i wonder if he's going home to yn being there or not

charles_leclerc: you're incredibly brave volunteering to travel home with him 👏🏻

username10: yn should be there with him, i really hope that they're okay

username11: what would we do without these two in our lives!?

maxverstappen1: we tried to talk you out of it but you didn't listen 🤷🏻

username 12: i love how all the boys are exposing lando as a terrible travel partner hahah

landonorris: stop trying to make it sound like we're not bffs osc 💔

oscarpiastri: @/landonorris that's because we're definitely not best friends

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liked by landonorris, alex_albon and 793,722 others

oscarpiastri: seeing as some people want to make it their business, we thought we’d share why yn hasn’t been around recently. a couple of weeks ago she had a nasty fall at home which resulted in a broken leg. yesterday I finally got to bring her home and begin helping her with recovery…just call me doctor piastri from now on 🧑🏻‍⚕️💞

57,492 comments

username13: i hope all you losers who thought they broke up are proud of yourselves 🙄

landonorris: you guys know where i am if you need anything!!

georgerussel63: we love you yn, make sure you get plenty of rest ❤️❤️❤️

username14: sending you so much love yn, get plenty of rest

ynusername: apologies in advance for the lack of sleep you're about to get because of me 😂

oscarpiastri: @/ynusername as long as you're healing idc 🥹

username15: can't believe some of you were so stupid to ever think they'd actually break up

alex_albon: glad to see you're back at home where you belong yn

danielricciardo: do i even want to ask how she managed to break her leg??

oscarpiastri: @/danielricciardo if I told you I don't think you'd believe me 😂

username16: poor oscar looks exhausted having to drive and take care of yn too

charles_leclerc: pls tell me I get to sign the cast ✍️

ynusername: @/charles_leclerc i'll save a spot just for you

username17: please make sure you take care of yourself yn and ignore what everyone has to say

carmenmmundt: sending you so many healing vibes yn, we miss you at the paddock

username18: during a time when they need privacy and instead they've been hounded by nosey idiots 🤦🏻

maxverstappen1: can't wait to see all the doctor piastri content from you! 😂

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liked by georgerussell63, carlossainz55 and 682,058 others

oscarpiastri: the only way to get her out of the house atm is to bribe her with coffee ☕️

63,957 comments

username19: it's adorable how much oscar cares about her 🥰

lilymhe: tell her im omw with coffee as we speak to get her out again!

username20: it's so good to see yn back up on her feet and moving around again 🤩

alex_albon: i actually forgot what yn looked like stood upright for a moment

username21: why does it feel like oscar is one of those partners who is constantly checking on her making sure she's doing her exercises and following every single bit of advice

maxverstappen1: yn's injury is really making you look like the doting boyfriend rn ❤️

danielricciardo: if yn ever gets bored of being entertained on a walk by you, you know where i am!

username22: i bet yn can't wait for race weekend again to get rid of the nagging doctor 😂

landonorris: wish you looked after me as well as you look after yn

oscarpiastri: @/landonorris just a shame that we're not dating then really huh?!

username23: anyone else noticed how many drivers have been round this week to take yn out and make sure she's staying active too

username24: @/username23 i think she might just be the most popular wag on the grid

ynusername: i hate you but i love you at the same time these days 💞

oscarpiastri: @/ynusername if the doctor says you keep moving, it's my job to make you move 😂

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liked by landonorris, carmenmmundt and 59,491 others

ynusername: I always knew oscar was secretly boyfriend coded but damn having him look after me is making me fancy him all over again 🔥

12,056 comments

username25: i think i might've just fallen in love with him all over again too 😍

alexandrasaintmleux: make the most of all of the attention you're getting girl

ynusername: @/alexandrasaintmleux oh I am, he doesn't let me lift a finger 😘

username26: soft, doctor boyfriend oscar might just be my new favourite thing

charles_leclerc: if i see many more of these posts from you i might just need a sick bucket 🤮

username27: yn you really are the luckiest having this guy in your life

carlossainz55: i always knew he was a softie deep down 🥺

oscarpiastri: you know i'd do anything as long as it meant getting you better again

ynusername: @/oscarpiastri you're an angel in disguise i swear

username28: i'd break my leg too if it meant oscar piastri was there to look after me 😂

username29: it melts my heart to see how caring oscar has been over the past few weeks

danielricciardo: even i found myself getting a bit excited when i saw these photos yn

username30: everyone needs an oscar piastri in their life

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ynusername posted two stories

replies

landonorris: you're ruining oscar's image with every post you share these days 😂

oscarpiastri: there's nowhere else that I'd rather be

ynusername: we'll pretend you didn't complain that it wasn't race weekend first thing this morning shall we???

carmenmmundt: hope it's good news, lemme know how you get on!!

alex_albon: praying for you and hoping that it's the beginning of the end now 💕

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danielricciardo: thinking of you guys, tell the doctor if he doesn't give you good news i'll break his leg 💞

ynusername: something tells me you might find a few challenges in doing that hahah

georgerussell63: you're so strong yn, just remember we love you

charles_leclerc: the whole family is hoping for good news for you and oscar ❤️

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liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris and 70,238 others

ynusername: the moment i've waited for for so long, back in my second home of the garage and back supporting my love during race weekend

14,592 comments

username31: make sure you keep taking care of yourself yn!! 💕

oscarpiastri: cannot begin to tell you how happy i am to have you back with me again ☺️

ynusername: @/oscarpiastri the best feeling in the world being able to cheer you on again

danielricciardo: ik just how much this means to you, welcome back to us yn

username32: it's so good to see you right back where you belong again

username33: it feels like you've never been away, I'm so happy for you guys 🥹

charles_leclerc: on the mend at last, i hope you know just how many people can't wait to welcome you back this weekend

username34: we love our favourite #81 fan 🧡

iamrebeccad: i am hurrying over to that mclaren garage as fast as i possibly can rn ‼️

username35: so happy to see you back on your feet and back with our favourite duo again

username36: this is the content we've been waiting for, it's so good to see you back

landonorris: as much as i hate having to share oscar again, it's a joy to have you back 🙃

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˗ˏˋ 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ! ´ˎ˗

[tw1nter]

I am so glad someone actually stated what this is because a lot of people say I’m super ‘empathetic’ but I KNEW I wasn’t.

I’m compassionate and sympathetic (but I also force myself to be? So i dont know take that how you will. It’s like i know what the characteristics of being a good person are so i push myself to do whatever a ‘good person’ does. I don’t get me wrong, i have an innate desire to help people. Just whoever but… where does it stem? Sometimes I feel like my only purpose is to help people and other times I am very… void for caring for others? And I’m putting on this mask and pretending that I am this ‘good person’ because i know what to do to BE this ‘good person’. But it won’t mean anything to me. It’s all a scam. A mask.

it makes me feel like such a fraud sometimes.

how is it sometimes I want to do nothing but help people and like every fiber of my being cannot help but lend a hand to everyone I come across (even those who hurt me) and then other times I’m just pretending until being a good person comes naturally to me again? Why? Why do I care absolutely shit zero about some people sometimes? I will scam, use, hurt people.. and I WONT CARE?? It terrifies me sometimes- I terrify MYSELF. Because why do I have such a lack of empathy sometimes? I mean crap man..

sometimes I’ll nearly make decisions that.. I CANT come back from. I’ll almost do or say something that would like fuck up certain relationships I have and it’s like aghhh-

it merely becomes a plot to do whatever is best for myself and i dont know what the fuck is wrong with me-

i've seen quite a bit of confusion about this, so let me attempt to clear things up :

empathy is the ability to feel somebody's emotions as though they are affecting you personally. for example, somebody tells you "my dog died last night!" -> you now feel as though you've lost a pet personally -> you feel grief and sadness just like the other person. not everyone has empathy. it's a trait some people develop and others don't. some have high empathy, some have low empathy, some (like me) have none.

sympathy is the ability to understand and care about somebody else's struggles, even if you don't feel them yourself. so, somebody tells you their dog died -> you realize how this affects them emotionally -> you care about this person, and are upset that they are suffering. not everyone has sympathy either! it's a scale, just like empathy.

compassion is doing something to relieve another person's suffering or make them feel better. somebody tells you their dog died -> you don't want them to remain upset -> you come up with ways to help them feel better, like offering comfort and distractions, or other forms of support. compassion is a learned trait, not something you can be born with like empathy or sympathy. anyone can learn to be compassionate, although some may struggle more with it than others; it's a skill, just like anything else.

however, none of these are required to be a good person. that's a choice you make on your own accord. i hope this clears things up!

[otterloreart]

Steps of creating a 3D model replica from scratch

trace photos of character from available and cleanest angles. attempt to get a 90 degree*, front and back, side profile and straight on of the face. save additional reference photos such as bottom of body, back, and various extra angles without tracing which may help reference later on.

*more on angles later, but trying to get a 90 degree from each side is the most realistic and practical option if you dont actually have the character you're copying

2. block out the body and head

and by block i mean, yeah, its made out of elaborate rectangles

4 aha, you thought I would hand sculpt those? no. no. I used the curve tool to add these swirls. And yes i exactly traced them over the drawings to match the original as best as possible. The end of the curve tool is flat by default so I added a few spheres to make the ends nice and round. (there is absolutely a way to make the ends of curves rounded but I did not feel like looking it up or messing with the settings)

this wasn't mirrored to the other side- I traced both sides of the body and the front from photos and sculpted the swirls for each side. I couldn't get a single photo of the swirls at the butt area so I just winged it.

6 I am struggling to not make Cha Cha look angry.

I feel like the eyes are basically traced off the original and yet she looks so much grumpier. maybe it just needs to be smoothed out?

I added a little definition to the area around the eyes and I do think it looks a little better. The more definition I add in this stage the better, because I prefer this to sculpting. However, if you're more adept at sculpting you would probably not make this as detailed.

7 Here she is after smoothing everything out in sculpt after remeshing, in both Eevee (left) and Cycles (middle/right). still trying to figure out how best to render things. For some reason her nose ended up lighter in cycles but i cant be bothered to fix that rn

On the previous step I made the elements of her face + ears mirrored but once I start sculpting I'm not using the mirror tool. In fact nothing ends up mirrored, even the back right foot is slightly shifted in position.

this is probably not even the final version, I think i might redo the smooth/sculpt part and fiddle with the underlying shapes (basically go back a step)

Cha Cha's face. is one of the most difficult things to sculpt. It is extremely difficult to understand the shape of the underlying sculpt because there aren't any photos of her with the eye paint removed. There are so few of her out there I don't think anyone would willingly remove the paint to make a custom or anything unless it was in truly awful condition, and I dont think that has ever happened.

I have saved dozens of references from a number of different sites- these pics here are from etsy, the above was from the wiki. Her eyes are different from every single other pony and pony and friends- they're so bulging, so round, the eyelashes are longer. It's wild.

I can only see all the things that are wrong with it.

It's basically impossible to get something like this 100% perfect unless you have like, a set of turnaround photos all from the same angle that you can match up to the camera. You can basically overlap references with the camera view but you will never know the exact angle so if you make edits from multiple angles like this you'll inevitably not match each angle and then have to go back and adjust the angles and then you're fiddling with it infinitely. That's why I usually go for the "trace 4 angles and make the rest up as you go along" method.

I don't want to spend _too_ long on every model I make- the Takara pony which took 6 months really shows how far down the rabbit hole I will go with something like this, and it's just not practical. But I think with a slight amount of fiddling I can match the reference a little better.

[kimmie2me]

Dynamite and His Player 2

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀𓂅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Twitch Gamer!Bakugou x AFAB!fem reader

.....

Bakugou glances over at the camera, brows furrowed as he adjusts his headset. "Alright, you extras, get ready to shut the hell up," he growls, his voice laced with annoyance. "She’s real. I’ve got her right here, and she’s playing with me tonight."

You laugh off-screen, causing his chat to explode with reactions. Up until now, they didn't believe a word Bakugou said when he claimed he had a girlfriend. After all, this is the guy known for his explosive reactions when things go slightly wrong. He grumbles, trying to keep his cool, but the slight blush on his cheeks gives him away.

The game loads up, some horror-puzzle co-op that requires a ton of coordination. But while Bakugou’s all business—focused on solving puzzles and surviving—you have other ideas. You’re busy teasing him, wandering off to explore the map, or purposely messing up just to get a rise out of him.

"Can you just—dammit! Will you STOP wandering off?" Bakugou snaps as he watches your character take another detour. "We’re supposed to be working together!"

You grin at the screen, purposely moving your character in circles. "Aw, come on, Suki~ We’re just having fun, right?"

His jaw clenches, and he mutters something under his breath about "not having fun if you keep screwing around." But his viewers are eating it up, laughing at his frustration and flooding the chat with comments like "She's brave for messing with him, LMAO😭😭" and "Bros .4 seconds away from exploding his monitor for the 10 millionth time🪦"

Eventually, he just huffs, slouching in his chair and mumbling, "Fine. Do whatever the hell you want. I’ll just wait here." His expression says he's beyond annoyed, but the hint of a smile peeking through his scowl gives away that maybe, just maybe, he's actually having a little fun too.

Grumpy Twitch Gamer Bakugou Headcanons

...

— Every time he messes up, he narrows his eyes at the camera with that “are you stupid?” glare. Chat spams "IT’S NOT OUR FAULT!” and "WHY R U LOOKING AT US LIKE WE DID THAT??" but he just huffs, “If you idiots weren’t DISTRACTING me…”

— Bakugou’s streaming style is brutally honest—constantly throwing out curses like it’s second nature. If he dies in-game, his go-to is, “How the hell am I supposed to win with this garbage game?!” and he never blames himself, ever.

— He has zero chill. Every so often, he’ll pound the desk so hard that the camera shakes, and one time he punched his mic so fiercely that it cut out, leaving chat in hysterics as he tries to fix it, muttering about “this piece of crap gear.”

— After every gaming session, he gives a review of the game he’s playing—most of which devolve into full-on rants about terrible controls, stupid enemies, and “whoever the hell designed these levels.” At this point, it's an entire essay by the time he's done.

— There are moments when he hits the mute button just to scream or cuss off-mic. Chat sees him red-faced and mouthing words, knowing he’s losing it, which makes them spam laugh emotes to annoy him further.

— Sometimes, when things get really bad, he just simply says "Okay." and goes quiet, leaning in close to the screen with this intense focus. Chat knows that if he’s silent, it’s only because he’s plotting to obliterate whatever got him killed.

— It’s become a running joke with his followers—every time he streams, they place bets on which piece of his equipment he’ll break. He’s replaced his keyboard three times already and had to upgrade his camera stand because he broke the last one during a particularly heated rage quit.

— When he finally beats a level, he acts like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “See? Wasn’t even hard, you just have to not be a dumbass.” Cue the smug smirk.

— Occasionally, in his absolute rage, he’ll end the stream immediately after a loss. One second he’s there, screaming at the game, and then—stream offline.

— Despite all the rage, he’s actually insanely good at gaming. When he goes on a winning streak, chat blows up with admiration, but he barely acknowledges it. “’Course I won—who the hell do you think I am?”

— He has zero patience for backseat gamers. “Oh, you think you could do better? Why don’t you go start your own damn channel, then!” The mods know by now to instantly time out anyone who even hints at suggesting how he should play, and the ban count is astronomical by the end of each stream.

— Occasionally, Bakugou gets so into the game that he goes almost silent, and chat jokes it’s an ASMR session because all they can hear is his intense breathing and muttered curses. “Oi, STOP saying it’s ASMR, it’s not ASMR, you freaks!”

— Loading screens are his worst enemy. Every single time, he glares directly into the camera, arms crossed and seething, ranting about the “stupid long loading times” and how he could’ve “beat the damn game twice by now.” and how "a whole child could've been born by now." Chat watches in suspense because they know the rage is simmering, just waiting to explode.

— If he’s playing a console game, the controller does not have a safe future. He’s thrown it across the room, slammed it on his knee or desk, and even threatened it like, “You’re next, you little piece of shit, keep messing up on me.” He’s gone through so many controllers that his sponsor had to send him extras.

— When he loses in a PvP game, he has 1,001 excuses. “Lag. Dumb luck. Exploiter. The devs nerfed my character, obviously.” If chat calls him out, he just scoffs, “You think that was my fault? Keep dreaming.” And the mods instantly clear out any “L” spam from chat because he’s already dangerously close to slamming his keyboard.

— His channel has special emotes for when he loses his temper—explosion icons, angry Bakugou faces, and even one of his own “ARE YOU FUCKIN’ KIDDING ME?!” face. Chat spams these whenever he starts heating up, which only fuels his fire.

— His viewers love to try and provoke him. Someone will innocently say, “Hey Dynamight, I think you missed something back there,” and he’ll instantly pause, glare at the screen, and say, “I DIDN’T MISS ANYTHING, DUMBASS, WE'RE MOVING ON.” It’s like a game within the game for his followers. (He goes back to check right after.)

— “Easy mode?” he scoffs at the suggestion. “I’d rather throw myself into a fire than play on easy mode.” Even if he’s dying over and over, he’ll never, ever change the difficulty. Chat has tried for months to get him to switch, but he’s stubbornly loyal to “the only real mode” (aka Hard Mode, Nightmare mode or above).

— If he actually wins a match, he’s unbearable. He’ll sit there, grinning and basking in his victory, smirking at the camera with a smug, “And that, extras, is why I’m better than every single one of you.” Cue chat sarcastically clapping.

— He once had a bet with his mods that he’d try to do a stream without cursing or raging. He lasted five minutes before he exploded, screaming, “THIS GAME IS FUCKING RIGGED!” after an unexpected jump-scare. The mods were dying, and he banned half of them out of spite (they were unbanned five minutes later, but still).

— Every time he’s about to start a new game, he’s got this exaggerated, dramatic intro: “ALRIGHT, EXTRAS, prepare yourselves ‘cause we’re about to dominate the shit outta this game. And if I see anyone backseat gaming, you’re banned. Don’t even THINK about telling me what to do.”

— Every now and then, when he dies for the tenth time in a row, he just deadpans to the camera, “I swear to God, I’m deleting my channel after this.” Chat knows he’s bluffing, but they still spam crying emojis like “NOOO PLEASE DON’T” just to mess with him.

— Every so often, when he’s focused on a tough level, he’ll mutter something like, “Okay, maybe you’re not so bad, chat. Don’t tell anyone I said that,” and the comments absolutely blow up with hearts and “WE LOVE YOU, DYNAMIGHT.” He immediately goes red and yells, “Didn’t mean it, idiots!” but it’s too late.

— Once, he rage-quit a game so hard that his entire setup fell silent. He’d punched the desk, and the screen went black. Chat watched in shock as the stream just… cut off. The clip went viral, with an entire 30-minute compilation titled “Every time Dynamight destroyed his setup” He came back the next day, reacted to it, and you already know he gave the video a thumbs down and left a long hate comment.

— His mods convinced him to play a “relaxing, casual game” that was secretly full of jump scares. The first time it happened, he almost flipped his entire desk. He immediately banned half of his mods and told the rest they were “on thin ice.” Chat still laughs about it every time he plays a “cute” game.

[wintersera]

"so are you ovulating?" || ningning x succubus!reader

notes: i actually wrote this fairly quick, but finding the right pics for the moodbaoard actually pissed me off erm.. but first of all FIRST NINGNING FIC WE CHEERED (a/n i forgot to say this was a part two of the succubus!reader thing soooo here’s the link!)

cw: tail sex (kinda), succubus!reader, top!ning, bottom!reader, mentions of a singular man

wc: 4k

after the ‘feeding on your unnie’ incident that had happened a few months ago, your performance was phenomenal. with all that energy you gained from that one night, plus some extra other nights following from then with jimin unnie, it was as if your every move, every note and every emotion was amplified by tenfold. you were on fire and the audience could feel your passion for performance burning brightly with every stage you did.

your mentors and managers commented on how energetic you had been for the past couple of months, how your performances were absolutely phenomenal, the knetz weren’t on your ass - which was surprising since almost half of them were all the time. the western fans said that you were, quote on quote,“serving cunt” in the recent solo weverse live you did… whatever that meant. even your own members were surprised at how active you were throughought day and night. 

but like everything in life, things weren’t bound to stay all too well.

a few days ago you tripped on stage, and to make matters worse, it was in front of your fans. the audience heard a small little thud and spotted you on the ground looking at the ceiling for a few seconds before you stood up embarrassingly. luckily this was the first take, you had other opportunities to do your very best with the smidge of energy you had left. 

knowing your fans, particularly your stans - either they’d make a meme out of you spacing out on the floor, or, they’d spam hashtags all over twitter saying “SM PROTECT YOUR ARTIST” or something around those lines.

not only did that happen, but whilst you were preparing to record your lines in the studio, that familiar pain you would get whenever you were starved from energy came back ten times worse; it felt like you were being pierced in the stomach.

jimin noticed your pained expression and squeezed your shoulder in reassurance as she entered the recording room, but it kind of translated wrong in your head, causing you to moan out loud into the mic in front of your directors - not to mention you could hear yourself through the headphones echo. jimin chuckled lightly “what’s up with you?” then left the room a moment afterwords.

fast forward to the present day. a mundane and repetitive one. you had a photoshoot early in morning and a small meeting sometime in the afternoon and then you were free to do whatever you wanted afterwards. you thought that maybe some vocal lessons later in the evening would distract you, but you were pretty sure your vocal teacher was out with his husband drinking today. good on him, it buys you more alone time, and alone time makes you think about what to do about your situation. 

on to more pressing matters, aka your raging desire for sex. 

it randomly hit you hard while walking back from the company to your local seven eleven. you thought to distract yourself with buying a sweet treat for everyone, but instead you began to feel dizzy “ouh.. this isn’t good” there wasn’t a bunch of groupies following you around the block to your own misfortune, and it was still bright outside.so what was there to do about that urge?

it’s not like you could message jimin unnie out of the blue and ask to fuck. where was the decorum? plus you’re in the middle of promotions, what if you drain too much energy that she’s unable to perform the next day.

and it also didn’t help that your internal monologue was fucking you up.

“shit, do i just ask the manager to… NO- ew what the hell am i thinking? he’s way older than me. nevermind. why did i think about that jesus christ.” 

your options were slim. it was either wait for night, go to the practice rooms and prey on a cute trainee, with consent of course - or go ask jimin unnie again and risk exhausting her even though you just started promotions… 

you wondered who was at home right now.

you recalled ning going straight back home as soon as the meeting had finished. you could always ask? i mean she is your unnie after all, it wouldn’t hurt to ask to her. 

ah, but it would be awkward though. it’s not like when jimin unnie walked in on you tweaking out and then you had to shamefully ask her to “help you out”. either way you had to go home and do something about it. being out in the open wouldn’t be good for you anyway. anymore stress and you could lose your mind, probably going out of your way to do something that would be highly illegal, and you wouldn’t wish that on anyone.

–

on the way home you couldn’t suppress your excitement. you had already made up your mind to ask ning if you could, you know, do something nasty. multiple scenes were made up in your head. she could bend you over the table, press you against the wall and limit your restrictions with her pretty hands, or maybe she could shove your head into the pillow and pound into your desperate pussy.

as opposed to jimin, you never caught ning wound up in her own thoughts, nor staring at you in a sexual manner. whether it was pracitce, a stage, any event with the members, or an upcoming show, you had never caught her once. maybe she did look at you while you were dancing promiscuously as a joke. even so, her expressions were so nonchalant that even if she was, you would never be able to tell… though that thought alone excited you even more. who knows what her pretty little head was thinking about.

although jimin said to tell the other members about who you actually were to prevent you from being too awkward to ask your members for help, you refrained from doing so because well… you’re just like that, what else. how were you gonna do it anyway- hold a meeting in your apartment around the dining table and say that you need sex to stay active and alive? then what, they’ll eagerly accept the fact that you literally need to be inside of them, or vice versa, so you can get up on stage and preform as if it was a regular ass day.

those five minutes you spent daydreaming and thinking about telling your members were stopped abruptly by the door in front of you. when did the walk home become so quick.

then you started to think once again. 

would ning be the type of person to go out of their way to help you? yes she’s that type of person, however, does that mean she would willingly want to have sex with you… god, you don’t know her ‘that’ well. you’re close, close as how close a lifetime friend could ever be, but still, things would be weird if she ultimately says no to your request.

“you’ve been staring at the door for an awfully long time y/n. are you coming inside or do you want to stare at the door a little longer?”

fresh out of the shower, yizhuo greets you with a friendly smile followed by a giggle. her towel sticking against her body showing off the curves of her hips. 

oh fuck, why does she have to be wearing that now. 

“did you just finish showering? also, girl… get back inside. what if someone sees you with just a towel on” the aroma of your shampoo wafted through the air “you smell good…” you all were tight on money this month, so you all shared things like perfumes, shampoos, pretty much all products you and the other members owned. each time either one of your members had applied your shampoo, god, you had such perverse thought about them, wanting to ravage them until they couldn’t walk or even stand

“yeah i ran out of mine- and yours was newly opened so you know” she had been looking way too good recently, not saying that she never did look good, but there was something about her that made you feel extra desperate and needy. the wetness between your thighs spoke for themselves

“let’s go in. i need to talk to you quickly before my brain explodes” yizhuo cocked her head in confusion, reluctantly following your lead, closing the door behind her as you walked into your guys’ apartment. 

you followed behind her as she led you to your shared bedroom, looking up because you didn’t want to turn yourself on even more by staring at her ass “wow, the ceiling looked nice. a pretty beige colour… what the hell am i doing” you thought to yourself with a heavy sigh, looking back down and regretting it immediately. you noticed that yizhuo turned around as you locked eyes with the front of her cream coloured bath towel.

as perceptive as yizhuo was, she noticed a little black swish behind your back. she just played it off, too tired from all the practice, so she thought she was hallucinating a tail or something of the sorts.

now, being both the youngest and the least serious members of the group, you rarely ever had a heart to heart. to talk one to one with each other with the tone you had used, yizhuo must’ve thought that there was some topic you couldn’t bring up with the eldest “hey what’s up? it’s been a while since we last talked seriously” her damp hair against her soft looking skin, the fresh scent of soap and the way she looked at you with worry in her eyes. it almost drove you off the edge. she was so tantalising that you almost missed your cue to speak.

“uh- um, you know how we’ve been besties since i came to korea right?”

“yes”

“and you know we said that we’d always tell each other anything right?” you glanced around the room, avoiding her gaze while your fingers unconsciously played with the fabric of her bedsheets.

“yes…?” ning pondered for a while “…are you going to confess your undying love for me, is that what this is?” she cackled.

“WHAT? no, no- i think that might be less shocking than what i’m about to say” you take a deep breath in hopes to stifle the sound emitting from your booming heartbeat “okay so like, hypothetically speaking, would you have sex with any of the four of us?” for a god awful few seconds you sat tensely, waiting for yizhuo to say something. 

“are you trying to redirect my attention from a more important question girl?” her eyes rested on your face, heartily laughing until she released you were being totally serious. 

scratching your arm, you let out a sigh. it would be better to ask her directly wouldn’t it “you don’t need to analyse me like that. i was just saying-”

you could charm her into agreeing, but in the long run you’d feel like a horrible person. charming a person came with moral problems, and you strictly told yourself that you would never do that to a person. ever.  

“yizhuo… can we- can you do me a favour?” your stuttering caught her attention. you simply couldn’t bring yourself to ask, it’s strange out of the blue. 

“mhm mhm, what do you need”

“you”

“me?”

“yes.” with every fibre of your being you held back a variety of different ways to scream out ‘JUST FUCK ME’ biting your lip to help fight back a blush. it’s odd to blurt out ‘im a succubus. let’s have crazy passionate intimate gay sex right here right now’ 

hold on- does she even know you’re a succubus? “listen, it’s going to sound absurd and you probably think i’m not sober, but can you hear me out” it was still weird to outwardly say that you were in fact this demon thing that sucks people dry, literally. saying it to jimin was no easy feat, but you were obviously losing your damn mind that day. and then you have the other two members too? now was not the time to think about what you’d do in the near future, you were hungry and yizhuo was right in front of you, practically naked “are you, by any chance, okay with maybe” your gaze darted around the room before you locked eyes with her “maybe having… sex? maybe?”

“ohhh, okay i see how it is. you’re ovulating” she spoke with a dead serious tone.

you were losing your mind. you couldn’t tell if she was fucking with you or not. but in all honesty, yizhuo did think you looked like you were ovulating with the way your thighs pressed together. yup, ovulating.

your heart began to race as you increasingly became desperate within seconds. you felt feverish, hot to the touch while your head throbbed. almost a whole two months without tending to your needs ended up with you succumbing to the symptoms “please yizhuo. i need you to do something, anything- i feel like i’m gonna die actually” 

“woah woaah, let’s calm down. you’re not gonna die silly. is it just-“ yizhuo paused for a while, coughed and maybe even hesitated to say the word “sex. is that all? it can’t be too bad. plus if it’s with you, i don’t mind…” yizhuo’s words were genuine. it put your mind at ease. 

“you don’t understand though. it’s like… it- i don’t know” you pout at her with the remaining energy left in your body “it’s alright- i’ll ask other people, it’ll be okay” sluggishly pushing yourself off yizhuo’s bed.

“no no, i get it. you wanna relieve stress, i get it” from what you could understand, yizhuo was trying her absolute best, trying to relate with your problem “we’ve all been there. the company doesn’t allow us to go out and meet other idols like that so it was eventually gonna happen. i mea-“

“it’s not about that, yizhuo” your eyes darken, a desperate sigh emitting from your lips “ah, whatever…” with trembling hands, you held yizhuo’s in yours, momentarily silencing her as you sit back down on top of the smooth sheets of her bed “if you’re not okay with doing ‘this’, then will a kiss be okay?” there was a hint of softness to your voice, the rest shrouded with seriousness “it won’t be enough for me, but it’ll keep me… sort of stable” you shut your eyes as you press your forehead against hers, sharing the warmth “please, that’s all i ask for” 

she whispered “a kiss? i can do that. it seems fun.”ning, inches away from kissing you, smiled sheepishly. her gaze drifted briefly towards your lips before finally shutting her eyes  “and if it’s with you i think i’ll be okay”  

you took this as your opportunity to kiss her softly on the lips. a quick peck really. a surge of energy coursed through your veins for half a second before coming to a stop.

that’s all the energy you’ll take from her, and the most you’ll take for the next couple of days “mmm… thank you yizhuo” though it was a sweet couple of seconds before it broke off, the sweetness of her lips left a longing impression on you.

yizhuo asked for “one more kiss?” growing in confidence, she leaned into another, her eyes fluttering shut as she melted into your embrace. though you were unsure, you gave into the moment, savouring her delicate lips. her fingers tentatively reached for your shirt, grabbing you and pulling you in closer. as the kiss intensified, yizhuo’s hands journeyed down your back, directly pushing down so your chests were pressed together “do whatever you want…” her breath hitched as you trailed down kisses from her jaw down to her neck, taking the time and effort to not accidentally leave a huge hickey there. you replied by pushing her back onto the bed, the loose towel that wrapped around body fell apart easily, exposing yizhuo’s pretty tits. she paid no mind, letting you do whatever you pleased. 

“god, you’re so pretty” you climbed onto the bed, straddling yizhuo’s waist as you carefully removed your t-shirt. 

she burned holes through your face, why was she staring so hard all of a sudden? “how are your eyes are pink, y/n” taken aback, she sits up and examines your face. she raised her hand and waved it in front of you “is this thing real?” tilting her head in confusion. 

“it is real- mmh?” a jolt shoots right up through your spine and then down to your core out of nowhere. ning held your sleek black tail, rubbing her fingers against the weird leathery texture, caressing and prodding at your poor flimsy, slightly erect(?) tail, as you let out a soft sigh. “yizhuo…” you mewl pathetically “that- that feels weird”

“does it now?” her tongue darted out, licking the centre of your heart shaped tail with the ever so subtle tug at the corner of her lips “sensitive much” a couple more licks and kisses to your tail and you were pretty much done for. 

time to time you forget that you have some sort of libido increasing, aphrodisiac power. the kiss you two shared may have affected her. well it definitely did. the increase of confidence radiating from the older girl was way different in comparison to her usual self. cause by now you’d expect her to be a little more gentle with you.

flipping positions, yizhuo held you down with her two hands with a devilish look on her face “if it’s sex you want, then i’ll make sure to fuck you till your begging for me to stop” her hand travelled down your tail, stroking it as if she was stroking your dick. never before had someone do something like that to your tail, but my god did it feel so fucking good.

she toyed with it, prodded and poked the tip of it and sucked it with her pretty pink and plump lips. the other hand cupped your chest, fondling over your boobs to get a feel for her own satisfaction “i could get used to this…” being on top of you, she had the advantage to do whatever she desired, and also because you were too weak to move at all “what do you want y/n? want me to fuck you with my tongue or my fingers. you choose”

you chose the latter.

throwing your head back onto the fluffed up pillows, yizhuo waisted no time and went to her destination. not one, but two fingers pushed deep inside of your pussy, stretching you out so good. her lustfully hooded eyes looked down at you, absorbing in the expressions of your pleasure contorted face “how’s it feel? want me to add another for you baby?” 

unable to answer her question with words, you nod eagerly, wanting nothing but her fingers to fill you up. so she did, adding in a third finger since you asked to cutely with that nod of yours. now knuckles deep inside, that same devilish grin spread across her face. you unconsciously buck your hips up, smiling wearily at yizhuo “so.. so deep” your moans urged her to immediately start moving. she started out nice and slow, curling her fingers at different intervals to squeeze out those lovely moans of yours. every thrust, she explored your spongy walls, testing out the waters to see which place hit the best for you. then as time went by, she gradually built up her pace until she came to her desired speed.

three fingered merciselessly pounded hard into your tight cunt, your juices leaking and dripping onto yizhuo’s bedsheets, and the sounds of your wetness leaving the chinese girl in awe. noticing the way your hips began to meet with her speed, her hand that played with your tail slowly slided towards them, holding you down by the stomach “let me do all the work” driven by your moans, she leans down to press a hungry kiss on your lips, then leaving a hot trail of kisses down from your neck and onto your perky nipples.

swirling around the hardened bud on your chest, a guttural moan catches her attention “you like it when i suck on your tits, huh?” her thumb pressed against your swollen clit as she muttered those words, all the while still paying attention to your sensitive tits. she enjoyed the way you tried to wriggle your hips in attempts to move them, and how your hands clutched the sheets with pure desperation. she felt hazy, maybe a little bit tipsy somehow, but all she wanted to do was fuck you until you were screaming her name.

as her fingers continued to slide against your walls, hitting the right spots at an intense speed, you felt a knot form in your stomach. you were so desperate for relief, needing to buck your hips into her palm to get that sweet friction you felt on your clit, but she didn’t allow you to do that; her hand still resting on your stomach to stop you from squirming “yi-yizhuo~” you whined, teary eyes staring at her with a pitiful look “please yizhuo.. r-rub my clit please~”

and who was she to deny you.

though she didn’t do exactly what you wanted, she did something way more better. moving away from your nipples, she lowered herself down onto the bottom of her bed to shove her face right between your thighs. tongue darting out her mouth, she gives a few kitten licks on your clit, savouring the sweet essence of your pussy for a starter. those tiny kitten licks turned into something much more. the tip of her tongue circled against your heat, occasionally wrapping her lips around to give you a quick suck before continuing to lap your soaked folds up to your sensitive clit. 

the stimulation drove your crazy. you never knew that yizhuo was so skilled at this. still thrusting those three fingers inside of your now pulsating cunt, at the hot and wet kisses and licks she left on your clit, she knew - and you knew, that you were on the verge of toppling over the edge. but it wasn’t enough for her “is that good, hm? does my needy baby want me to fuck her harder?” yizhuo somehow had the strength to speed up, fucking your hole as she moans at how well you’re taking her. 

those words vibrated from your core and sent shivers across your spine, leaving goosebumps all over your skin - in which also made you clench around her fingers. 

fuck, it was way too damn good. you felt your legs shaking, jaw opening wide, stomach tightening and that course of hot pleasure travelling through your entire nervous system “close- close yizhuo.. don’t stop” your words came out slurred, a few unintelligible praises and swears being ripped out of the back of your throat as you felt yourself on the edge. 

with one final deep and hard thrust, your jaw slacked open as your orgasm was pulled out from your body, legs twitching and spasming as you repetitively screamed out yizhuo’s name alongside even more praises. for a minute your body fell limp against the bed, exhausted from the mind blowing orgasm yizhuo gave you, and also from the built up stress you had from promotions.

now full of the sexual energy you gained from yizhuo, you spring upwards, patting yizhuo’s head gently “t-thank you… i feel refreshed…” 

the older girl finally sat up after she cleaned you up. wiping her face and chin from the juices that dripped all the way down, she flashed you a smile “with that tail of yours, and those pink eyes, you’ve got to be a succubus… right? to answer her question, you nodded, cheeks red from her straightforwardness. 

“y-yeah. you’re right… wanna go again?”

“only if i bottom next”

[just-dreaming-marvel]

Cold

MAIN MASTERLIST / MARVEL MASTERLIST / CHRONIC ILLNESS MASTERLIST

Logan Howlett x Female!Reader

Word Count: 2,260ish

Summary: You are keeping your arthritis a secret. Logan knows that something is wrong and is frustrated that you won't be honest with him.

Notes: I hope this story even makes a lick of sense... I am not feeling the greatest as the weather is changing and I just want someone who will stick out the arthritis with me.

Logan first sensed a change in you a few weeks after he arrived at the mansion. He noticed that you were quieter, moving slower, and being excused from training and other meetings. Logan brushed it off at first, but then it happened repeatedly. There was never a specific time or reason that Logan could pinpoint what was going on with you, and no one would explain it.

“Logan,” Storm sighed, exasperated. “It’s not my story to tell.”

“None of you seem worried,” Logan continued, voice tipping on anger. “Something is going on. She’s sick or something.”

“Why don’t you ask Y/N if you’re so concerned?”

Logan knew it was ridiculous not to go to you about his concerns, but he was still getting to know you. He felt like the two of you had barely become friends, and he didn’t want to ruin it. He actually enjoyed being your friend. You didn’t pressure him to do anything he didn’t want to, including talk. It was an easy friendship that he wasn’t used to happening. 

Logan could sense the change before you had even told him you weren’t up for your usual walk around the gardens. He tried to change the activity to something else, but you still excused yourself to your bedroom.

“I’m sorry, Logan,” you told him with a tight smile. “Maybe another day.” Then you slipped into your room.

Logan was completely stumped and slightly hurt by your actions. What was going on, and why wouldn’t you tell him?

~~~

You were young when you were first diagnosed. It was after your water mutation first appeared. They more you used it, the worse your joints got. The many doctors you visited each diagnosed you with a different type of arthritis. So you didn’t know exactly what you had, but you did know that with each weather change or over extension, especially of your mutation, your arthritis flared up.

Charles was the first person at the mansion to know about your condition, mostly because he was a mind reader. As you got to know everyone else, you slowly began to tell the others: Hank, Jean, Scott, and Ororo. Each of them was concerned that the arthritis seemed to be tied to your mutation, but you didn’t let that stop you. You still were a teacher at the school and a member of the X-Men, though you pick and choose what missions you went on.

When Logan first arrived, he was very closed off. Slowly, you got him to open up and feel more comfortable around you. The two of you began to rely on each other. You still hadn’t told Logan about your health. There was always some worry about how people would react when you told them. Oftentimes, it was pity and overprotectiveness; other times, they saw you as faking it. You didn’t know how Logan would see you yet and weren’t ready to know. 

You knew that you shouldn’t have tried to use your mutation too much during training, especially with the weather growing colder. You knew that it wouldn’t be a good reaction from your arthritis, but you chose to do it anyway. That’s how you ended up laying on your bed, barely mobile.

The knock on the door made you wince. Not having the energy to get up, you shouted as best as you could, “Who is it?”

“It’s me,” Logan’s rough voice broke from the other side of the door.

Your stomach felt like it was in knots. You couldn’t let Logan see you this way. Biting back a whine, you pushed yourself up and slowly limped through the door. Logan could sense your struggle from the other side. He clenched his fists to prevent himself from breaking down the door. When you opened the door, Logan immediately noticed how heavily you were leaning against the door and that you just had it opened enough for him to see you.

“Hi, Logan,” you forced out a smile. 

“What’s going on?” He immediately asked. “You haven’t left your room all day.”

“Oh, just… tired.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Logan—“

“I don’t want to hear anything but the truth.”

“I… I…”

“Hey, guys!” Rogue greeted, coming down the hall. “What are you—“ She paused, glancing between the two of you. “Oh. Is this a serious conversation?”

“No.” / “Yes.”

“I’m just gonna good.” She backed up a few steps before spinning around and running away.

“Let me in,” Logan requested.

“I’m fine, Logan,” you sighed.

“Then let’s go down to the Danger Room and train.”

“I trained this morning without you.”

“Then let’s go take a walk through the gardens.” 

You knew Logan would continue to pester you until you gave him an acceptable answer. What could a simple stroll really do to you? You were already hurting anyway. “Fine. Let me grab a jacket.”

You immediately winced upon turning around. Logan watched, eyes narrowed, as you tried your best to walk normally. Why couldn’t you just tell him what was wrong? You grabbed the jacket from the back of the chair at your desk and struggled to get it on. Logan stepped into your room, and took the jacket from you, helping you into it.

“Thanks,” you muttered.

Logan let out a grunt as he nodded. “Let’s go.”

As the two of you headed for the gardens, Logan had to slow down his usual pace. He kept an eye on you and the grimace you made with his step. The gardens were beautiful, though fall had settled in. You only wished that you could fully enjoy the beauty of your surroundings as you tried not to drop to the ground in sobs.

“Y/N,” Logan stopped his path and reached out to you. You pulled your hand away and immediately saw the hurt look Logan gave you. “Did I do something?” His voice was serious, though you could hear the slight vulnerability that he was trying to hide.

“No,” you slightly shook your head, almost immediately regretting it. “It’s not you.”

“Then what is it?”

“I’m just tired. I just need to sleep.”

“Bullshit.”

You sighed. “Logan, I—“

“No, it’s fine. You don’t want to tell me. You don’t have to. I get it.” Then he stormed off.

You sucked your lips in and looked up, trying to fight back the tears. You knew it was immature to be acting like this, but you didn’t know how Logan would see you after he knew the truth. Looking at the mansion, you grew tired just thinking about how hard it would be to get up to your room. You decided to find a bench in the gardens and rest for a little while.

~~~

The night quickly set in, and snow began to fall from the sky, though it was autumn. You were curled up on the bench you had found in the garden. Tears were frozen to your cheeks as you shivered uncontrollably. After sitting down to rest, you quickly found that that had been a mistake and weren’t able to get up. You were in too much pain, and that pain was only growing the colder it got.

“Help,” you rasped, able to see your breath in front of you. “H—Hel—Help…”

You could only hope that someone would find you before something really bad would happen.

~~~

“Hey, has anyone seen Y/N?” Scott wondered. “She missed dinner.”

“I think she wasn’t feeling good today,” Jean replied. “She’s probably in her room.”

“Someone should bring in dinner,” Ororo suggested. Those in the room looked at Logan, wondering if he would offer, but he remained silent. “Logan, why don’t you go?”

He scoffed. “I already tried today. Went on a walk, but she wouldn’t be honest with me.”

“You have to be patient, Logan,” Jean told him. “Y/N… well, she has reasons for how she’s acting. She’ll tell you in time.”

Logan gritted his teeth but slowly began to feel bad for storming off earlier today. “Fine.” He picked up the plate already prepared for you. “I’ll go.” He approached your room and immediately noticed the door was ajar. “Y/N?” He called as he pushed the door open. It looked like it had when he got you for the walk. “Y/N?” He walked further inside, peeking into the attached bathroom. You were nowhere to be found, which was concerning. He hurried back downstairs to the kitchen. “Y/N’s not in her room.”

“Maybe she went into town,” Ororo suggested. 

“No,” Logan shook his head. “It’s something else.” He looked at Charles. “Professor, can you sense her?”

Charles closed his eyes and reached out to you. It didn’t take long for him to connect with you. His eyes snapped open. “She’s in the garden,” he stated.

“Still?”

“Wait a minute,” Jean said, glancing out the window to see it snowing. “She’s in the garden now?”

“Yes,” Charles responded. “And we must hurry.”

“Hurry?” Logan repeated as the others rushed for the door. “Wait. What’s going on?” No one responded. “Damn it! Someone tell me!”

Ororo and Jean shared a look before Ororo sighed and stepped closer to Logan. “Y/N has arthritis,” she explained. “Overusing her powers and cold weather can make her flare. That’s why she was resting today.”

“Wait—She’s still outside. Shit.” 

Before anyone else could explain anything to him, Logan was running out to the gardens. Using his senses, he tracked you down to the bench you had found to rest on. You were curled up with a layer of snow on top of you, looking sickly.

“Y/N, sweetheart,” he rushed over to you. There was no response from you. “Y/N.” He tried to shake you awake, but nothing. “Come on, sweetheart,” he lifted you up to him. 

“Logan!” Jean shouted as she, Scott, and Ororo ran up to them. “Oh my—we need to get her to the lab. Now!”

The four of them moved swiftly to the lab, where Charles was already waiting. He set you down on the table, and Jean quickly went to work.

“It’s all my fault,” Logan muttered, eyes trained on you.

“It’s not your fault,” Ororo said.

“I got her out there; I left her there.”

“You didn’t know.”

“I knew that something was wrong. I shouldn’t have pushed her.”

~~~

It took a few hours for Jean to get you warm again. Charles had to keep you unconscious so that your body could rest. Logan stayed close by, watching over you. He kept an unlit cigar in his mouth, trying to use it to keep himself from tearing something apart—including himself. 

You moaned as you began to wake. Slowly, you opened your eyes and looked around the room. You immediately knew you were in the lab and could feel the tubes and wires attached to you. Your eyes widened as you saw Logan leaning up against the wall, staring at you with a cigar in his mouth. By the look in his eyes, you knew that he had found out the truth. Tears welled up in your eyes and began to slip down your face.

Logan tore the cigar from his mouth, pushed himself off the wall, and rushed to you. “Sweetheart, what’s wrong?” He asked. “Do you need Charles? Do you need more medicine? What can I do?”

“I—I don’t want your pity,” you cried.

Logan’s face fell. “What?”

“I don’t want your pity.” You turned your head away from Logan.

“Is that what you think this is? Pity? I was scared shitless when I found you out in the garden, sweetheart. I’m worried about you.”

“You’re already looking at me differently… that’s what I didn’t want.”

“How am I supposed to look at you? It is different. I know you have arthritis and that using your powers can hurt you.”

You looked back at Logan. “Yes, so now I’m fragile in your eyes. Just someone who should sit there and do nothing so that I don’t hurt myself. I can’t—“

“I would never want that for you, sweetheart. If I’m looking at you differently, it’s because I feel guilty for pushing you. You were in that garden because of me… It also could be that I’m amazed that you go through every day with pain, and you haven’t given up.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“I’m sorry for scaring you… and not telling you what was wrong.”

“I’m sorry for pushing you and leaving you out there.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“I’m gonna feel guilty for a while, sweetheart.”

“Please don’t feel guilty… And sweetheart? That’s new…”

“You like it?”

“Maybe.” You gave him a smile. 

“Seriously, how are you feeling?”

“I’m fine… I’ll probably be down for a few days, though.”

“Good thing I’m free to help.”

“No, Logan. I don’t want to be a burden—“

“You are never a burden. Got it? I don’t ever want to hear that from you again. Alright?”

“But—“

“Alright, sweetheart? Never again.”

“Okay…”

“Good, so,” he reached back and pulled up a chair to sit down beside you. “You need to tell me how best to help you. I can’t promise that I’ll remember everything, but I need to do what’s completely off-limits and what helps you the most.”

You couldn’t help the warmth that bloomed within your chest. No one had ever wanted to know how best to take care of you. This was different and would definitely take a lot of getting use to, but you were willing to try just as Logan was willing to try.

[strawb3heart]

Love actually!

Part 1

warning: just a bit of swearing maybe, a bit short??

Summary: The one where Lando Norris lies to a girl he just met who happens to then turn into his friend or something else..

As the days went by, Lando Norris found the perfect company. Although when he arrived in the small town he wasn't looking to find someone, it turns out that sometimes things don't go as planned, but much better. "If it's not too much of an intrusion, do you plan to stay here long?"

"Why? Do you want me to leave already?" the boy said in a playful tone causing the girl to shake her head laughing "Your work sounds serious, that's why I wanted to know"he gave her a small smile while still shaking his head

"In that case, I still have a couple of weeks free" ​​the weight of the lie was increasing little by little, making the brown-haired boy reconsider whether he should tell the truth

"If so, would you like to visit the lighthouse? It's a bit far and the walk might be hard for some, but if you're up for it, Elio would like you to come with us." Y/n explained, noticeably nervous under the man's attentive gaze

"Only him?" that comment made the blonde give her a confused look "Only Elio would like me to accompany you?" After that, a nervous giggle escaped the girl's lips "I think we both know the answer to that, Max"

When their eyes met, he knew it was the perfect moment, the moment he was waintig for, so he slowly cupped the face of the girl between his hands, leaning to give her a sweet and soft kiss.

"Then, I can't disappoint both of you, I'll go with you" And, as he said, Norris was more than thrilled to go hiking with Y/n and her little one.

What he didn't knew was how that was going to end. And now, the "date" was just a completely bittersweet blur.

Perhaps he forgot what the lie would cost him or maybe he just didn't think it through. But now, it was sure that neither Y/n or Elio would want him in his life.

The date was supposed to be a fun getaway enjoying the sunset and the afternoon, but when a group of fans recognized him, everything shattered.

"You lied to me" the tone in her voice was low, showing just how broken the girl seemed. "Y/n, it wasn't like that, I just, I didn't know if you would want me near you or Elio if you had already known who am I"

"Lando, you cannot just invent a name and a fucking fairytale of how your life is" She yelled while the man seemed to be taken aback, she never acted like that before "I need to take care of Elio, guard his security, and you just proven me that you don't even care about that"

"Elio freaked out when all those people appeared, couldn't you think of my child's sake before creating this kind of lie you thought you'd pull through"

Lando Norris remembered every single word the blonde had said to him. And that memory seemed to be haunting him constantly. He would give the entire world just to go back to the day it all started, to change how he had the audacity to lie.

But deep down, she knew the girl was right. The little one started crying just as all the flashes of the cameras and the yelling started. Even when he tried to shush everyone, sensing the fear in Y/n's and Elio's eyes.

Now, Norris had only one day left in Portofino. And he knew exactly what he was going to do

"You shouldn't be here" Y/n said in a rather dry way "I'm aware that I messed this up, seriously Y/n" he started to talk "But I have to tell you the truth, all of it"

"I traveled here because of the chaotic environment, and I was just looking for a relaxing holiday. But when I met you and this little one" He said squeezing softly Elio's hand "Everithing changed, and I didn't want to drag all that chaos to our new friendship"

"I know I did the wrong thing in lying to you, and I guess I was also afraid you wouldn't want to date someone who's constantly involved in senseless dramas."

"If you can forgive me, and I really hope you can, I'll be here until noon, you know where to find me"

Saying that, Norris was just about to leave when a cold hand grabbed his arm, avoiding him to continue walking.

"You cannot just say that and leave, Norris" she said while laughing softly "I understand you, at least I think I do, but if we want to make this work, we need to avoid lies"

"Whatever you say ma'am, your wish is my command" He was smirking while the girl blushed subtly

Love was such a wonderful thing and the fact thatbthe couple had met just by accident was a simple prove that love actually is, all around.

Taglist: @justheretoreadthxxs @hadids-world @hc-dutch @hard4ndsoft @cmleitora

dunno if it was too short but I was running out of imagination w this one, sorryy 😭

requests are always open 🌷

[sasheemo]

When we collide

Chapter 4

Read on AO3

Fic masterlist

Chapter Summary: Unexpected vulnerabilities and glimpses of hidden struggles are unveiled. But as defenses rise and words cut deep, the moment is fractured, leaving Agatha and Y/N to confront unresolved emotions alone. Back at home, tensions only deepen.

Word Count: 2.9k

Agatha’s eyes fix on the ground, her fingers absentmindedly tracing patterns in the dirt as she collects her thoughts. “It’s … my mother” she begins, each word dropping heavily, like stones tossed into a deep well. “She… she expects a lot from me.”

You stay quiet, watching her carefully, patiently waiting for her to keep going as if any movement or sound could rip the moment apart.

Agatha sighs, frustration clouding her face “It’s like no matter what I do, it’s never enough. Ultimately, I always do something wrong, some unforgivable mistake that makes me unworthy of her legacy. It’s … it’s … it’s exhausting.”

You feel an unexpected twinge of empathy, the weight of those expectations all too familiar. “So that’s why you… reacted like that?” you ask softly, choosing your words with care, as to not startle her. 

Agatha’s tone sharpens, but something fragile lingers beneath “I was… tired. Tired of always being under her scrutiny, tired of feeling like I’m never good enough.”

You study her, take in her words, trying to gauge how much more she is willing to reveal. 

And then she speaks again, almost startling you. “I’m supposed to be Agatha Harkness” she says, voice laced with sarcasm “powerful and poised, the daughter of the great Evanora Harkness” she sweeps her arms out in a mocking, theatrical gesture, her lips curling into a bitter smile that doesn’t reach her eyes. Then, her expression falters and her voice drops to a murmur “But here …” her gaze lowers, arms falling back to her sides, her voice barely audible now. “Here, I was just … broken. Powerless”.

An unexpected protectiveness stirs within you and the words easily come out “You’re not broken, Agatha. Sometimes… it’s all just too much.”

Her eyes flash with something unguarded—is it … gratitude? “You make it sound so simple” she scoffs bitterly, “But it’s not. Not when your are constantly being told, reminded, that you’re failing to live up to some impossible standards someone else set for you.”

You fight back the urge to share how much you relate to her words, choosing to let Agatha have her moment. Right now, you just want her to keep going, to talk to you. “Maybe you should tell her that” you suggest, your tone gentle but firm. “Your Mother, maybe she needs to hear it.”

Agatha’s laughter is hollow. “Right, because that’s how these things work. I’ll just sit down for tea with her and be like, ‘Hey, Mother, can we have a chat about your impossible expectations?’”

“Why not?” you counter, your voice calm and steady as you try to hold back a smirk at her sarcasm. “What’s the worst that could happen?”

“She’d probably just sl- laugh in my face and remind me what failure of a daughter and witch I am” Agatha replies, her voice trembling with suppressed emotion.

You meet her gaze, determined not to back down. “Why do you let her get to you? You can choose not to let her opinions define you.”

And with your words lingering in the air, an unbidden thought strikes ‘you are such a hypocrite, is that what you do when it comes to your own mother? You, giving mother-daughter relationship advice … really?!’. Your own voice is so loud in your head, but you are quick to push it aside, determined to keep your focus on the conversation and on Agatha.

Agatha scoffs shaking her head “And you think that’s easy? Maybe for someone who hasn’t spent their life under the weight of someone else’s expectations.” her tone is icy before she pauses, her eyes narrowing. “What would you even know about that?”

“Enough to know that resentment eats away at you” you shoot back, tension tightening around you. 

Agatha opens her mouth, then hesitates, a flicker of uncertainty crossing her features. “So now you’re just the expert on my life, right?”. The moment the question hits your ears, you realize there’s something about the way her sass flares up, only to vanish just as quickly, that’s starting to grow on you—for reasons you can’t quite explain.

“No” you say evenly “but I’m trying to understand. You act like you don’t care, but tearing up half the forest isn’t exactly indifference, is it?”

Agatha rolls her eyes “Oh, aren’t you insightful?” she shoots back, sarcasm dripping from every wordy. “What’s next, are you going to solve all of my life’s problems with your little spells and the power of nature?” she raises her hand, fingers flicking in exaggerated waves as if she’s casting a spell in mockery of your abilities. 

When her teasing is met by your silence and unimpressed face, Agatha’s hand drops. She shifts on her spot and slightly away form you, her walls slamming back into place. “What makes you think I need your help? I don’t want you to understand me” Agatha snaps. Yet, her bravado feels thin, barely masking the vulnerability underneath. “And I don’t need you to either. I don’t know you and you don’t know me and things don’t need to change just because yester-”

“Maybe I’m starting to see you” you interject, your voice low but firm. “And maybe … that scares you.”

Agatha’s expression darkens, and you can see the inner conflict waging war once again within her. “What do you even want from me?” she asks, her tone suddenly softer, almost pleading. “Do you want me to apologize? To grovel at your feet? Because I’m not going to do that.”

Your scoff immediately fills the air “I don’t want any of that.” you say, meeting her gaze with unwavering determination … before it falters. “I-I just want to listen, to help you” the words escape your lips before you even realize it but, weirdly enough, you feel no urge to take them back.

It’s Agatha’s turn to scoff, crossing her arms tightly over her chest as if trying to shield herself from your words. “You really think you can break through, don’t you? You think you can just stroll in and make it all better?” she says, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “What’s in it for you, anyway?” her eyes narrow, a twisted smirk curving her lips as she tilts her head, examining you “Or do you just get off on trying to ‘help’ people?” she sneers. “Is this your idea of fun, finding broken souls to patch up?”

The words hit you like a slap, and you feel a surge of irritation rising in your chest. It’s not like that… is it? You’re not even sure why you’re here, why you feel this strange pull toward Agatha’s pain, her defenses, and her sharp sarcasm. But her accusation stings, and for a second, you’re at a loss, unable to find a response that doesn’t sound defensive. You press your lips together, trying to ignore the way her gaze feels like it’s cutting straight through you, exposing motives you hadn’t even figured out yourself.

You just… sit there, quietly, as the silence between you grows stifling and almost suffocating, locking you both into this strange standoff. Then, Agatha finally looks away, her smirk of satisfaction fading quickly to your own surprise. 

You study her face for a few more seconds before letting your gaze drift away. For an instant, you can feel how her words are suspended in the air, mingling with the wisps of smoke from the dying fire. Enveloped in that same air, Agatha can feel the weight of what she said, its sharpness. A flicker of uncertainty crosses her face, giving way to something heavier, the realization that her words likely reached a part of you she hadn’t entirely meant to wound.

A hint of regret seeps in, unexpected and unwelcome, but undeniable. Her fingers find a loose twig on the ground, and she twists it absently, a distraction from the unfamiliar pang of guilt settling in her chest. 

The two of you remain like this, silently lost in thought and unwilling to meet each other’s gaze, as time stretches on indefinitely. Finally, as if needing to fill the silence pressing down on her, Agatha breaks it, her voice edged with frustration “It’s just… I don’t know why I’m even talking to you about this.” she mutters.“This whole conversation is ridiculous. I should be studying, or practicing my spells, or… I don’t know, anything else! Not sitting here talking to you, of all people.”

At the sound of her voice, you turn your gaze back to her, noticing how she is yet again tracing aimless patterns in the dirt, this time with the twig. Her eyes are fixed downward, still avoiding yours. “Maybe you needed to get it off your chest” you reply calmly. Only then does Agatha’s hand still, her gaze lifting until her eyes meet yours, something flickering within them as if your words have caught her off guard, as if she was expecting you to reply something else entirely. “Besides” you add “they say it’s easier to talk to someone you’re at odds with.”

“Right, because that’s totally sane” Agatha snaps, but her voice lacks its usual bite. “I’ve lost it, talking to my mother’s rival’s daughter. What’s next? Making each other flower crowns?”

You raise an eyebrow and take a breath, feeling the tension ease just a fraction. “We’re not so different, you know. We are both fighting to escape expectations that were never ours to begin with.”

“Great!” Agatha replies, giving a slow, exaggerated clap, the faintest hint of a reluctant smile tugging at the corners of her lips. “Two broken souls bonding over the wreckage of their lives. Truly inspiring.”

“Better than being at each other’s throats” you shot back, your words almost a question, a small grin threatening to break through.

Agatha rolls her eyes, but you can see the corners of her mouth twitch again. “I suppose. Just don’t expect me to start writing poetry about my feelings anytime soon.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it” you reply, unable to suppress a chuckle.

But the lightness of the moment doesn’t last long. Agatha’s expression shifts back to something more guarded as she speaks “Look, just … I don’t want to be some sob story. I’ll handle my drama in my own way. I didn’t ask for this heart-to-heart.”

“Fair enough” you say, your voice steady. “Just know that you can talk to me if you ev-”

“Sure, I’ll just add it to my list of things I’d rather not do.” she cuts in, but there’s a flicker in her eyes—a glimmer of something like acknowledgment, maybe even appreciation.

This isn’t a resolution, but it’s a step. Toward what, you’re not entirely sure. The tension between you shifts slightly, softened by all the things left unsaid. You tell yourself it’s nothing significant, but somewhere, buried beneath your thoughts, lingers the sense that this might not be the last time you talk.

Agatha’s voice pierces through the silence, her expression serious “It doesn’t make sense, does it? And yet here we are.”

“Yeah” you murmur, letting the strange truth settle between you. “It’s ridiculous, we’re practically rivals.”

“Practically?” she scoffs, though the tension in her voice hints at something different, an understanding just beneath the surface. “I’d say we’re already well past that point.”

“Fine, we’re rivals.” you say, and you can almost taste the faint hesitation on your tongue. “But… do you even know why?” you can’t help but ask, the question just hanging there, almost rhetorical. “I mean, it’s just… always been that way, hasn’t it? Like, it was handed down to us and … we went along with it?”

Agatha’s eyebrows shoot up in amusement at your questions, her expression shifts slightly as she considers your words. But her tone suddenly hardens “You think that just because we’re sitting here, chatting about my emotional breakdown or whatever, that we’re best friends now? That’s not how it works and you know it.”

Agatha’s words settle heavily in the air, cold and dismissive, pressing against you like an invisible wall. Whatever momentary connection you thought you’d glimpsed now feels fractured. For a brief second, you almost want to reply, to push back, but a strange resignation settles over you instead. You can’t shake the feeling of foolishness creeping in, a nagging sense that this whole morning was just a waste of time. Why did you even bother? What were you even expecting?

You force yourself to nod, as if conceding. “Right. Like you said, that’s not how it works.”, but the words taste empty. You exhale sharply before standing up, glancing back at her one last time “Goodbye, Agatha.” you say, your voice steady and calm, deliberate. You hold her gaze for a moment longer than necessary, as if silently making it clear that you won’t be the one left vulnerable. Then, without waiting for a response, you turn and walk away, letting the muted sounds of the forest close in around you.

Agatha doesn’t move for a long time, her gaze trained on the fading embers. The ashes lift and drift in the breeze, remnants of something heavy and unresolved, scattered too easily, just like the semblance of a connection that had briefly flared between you. She watches as the ashes dissolve into the air, a reminder that what’s been reduced to ashes rarely returns to what it once was. The weight of the moment clings to her, an odd pang she doesn’t fully understand. It presses against her usual defenses, almost like regret, not that she’d never admit it.

As she sits there, the faint rustle of underbrush draws her attention. She looks up, noticing a rabbit moving toward her with a cautious, uneven gait. Her brow furrows slightly as she watches it come closer, each hesitant hop tugging at an unspoken guilt she doesn’t want to acknowledge. Only when it pauses just a step from her crossed legs does she feel the certainty settle. A quiet, undeniable recognition that this is indeed the same rabbit that had fallen victim to her anger the day before.

Instinctively, she raises a hand to shoo it away, irritation flashing across her face. “Get lost.” she mutters, her voice sharper than she intends, her fingers flicking in a dismissive wave. But the rabbit doesn’t retreat. It stands its ground, then hops closer, pausing in front of her with a quiet insistence. She watches it, her irritation softening as it sits there.

With a sigh, Agatha relents, lowering her hand until her fingers barely graze the rabbit’s fur. The warmth of its small body surprises her, grounding her in the quiet solitude of the forest. Guilt and tenderness flicker in equal measure as she absently strokes its fur. “I’m sorry.” she whispers, barely recognizing her own voice as a single tear trails down her cheek. The rabbit hops into her lap, then settles in, curling up as if it belongs there, its small body calm against her. For the first time in a long while, Agatha allows herself a moment of quiet reflection, feeling the weight of emotions she can’t fully name.

The stillness of the forest fades as you cross through your garden and step into the walls of your home. Before you can even close the door, your mother’s voice pierces the silence, her tone laced with its usual mix of mockery and disapproval. “Back already?” she sneers, her gaze scanning you as if searching for signs of trouble. “You usually haunt the woods till dusk, and here you are, so early.”

You suppress an eye roll, your patience already strained “Not much going on out there.” you reply coolly, moving past her toward the stairs, hoping to avoid the inevitable lecture. But her voice follows you, sharp and cutting.

“Not causing trouble, I hope? I’d hate to hear of another mess like yesterday’s. Evanora doesn’t need any more reasons to question our family’s… stability.” Her words are thinly veiled, the accusation hovering in the air between you.

You take a slow breath, fighting the urge to snap back. “No troubles and no messes, Mother.” you say dismissively, willing your voice to remain steady.

As you place a foot on the stairs, your mother’s voice sharpens again, keeping you rooted to the spot. “And don’t think you’ll be skipping Evanora’s gathering this afternoon. She’s called on every one of us to further discuss this hunter situation and possibly put together some kind of patrol group. And you will be there. I won’t have you embarrassing me by staying behind.”

You pause, frustration simmering beneath the surface. “And if I don’t want to go?”

Her smile is as cold as her tone “Then I suggest you finally master that invisibility spell. But since I doubt that’ll happen anytime soon, you’ll attend. Just like the rest of us.”

You feel her gaze on your back as you ascend the stairs, her words echoing after you with their customary bite. In the silence of your room, you find yourself looking out the window, the image of Agatha sitting cross-legged by the smoldering ambers lingering at the edges of your thoughts. You brush it away, frustrated at yourself for even allowing it to linger.

And then, as you sit in the quiet of your room, a sudden thought hits you, sharp and unwelcome. Of course, Agatha will be there this afternoon. You almost laugh at the bitter irony, escaping the forest and that exhausting conversation, only to be thrown back into her presence. It feels as if the universe itself is playing some twisted joke, forcing you back into her orbit before her words have even had the chance to fade. Normally, neither of you would spare the other a glance, content to keep a safe distance in the silent rivalry that’s defined you both for years. Today won’t be any different. Nothing has really changed, you tell yourself. 

[lazyneonrabbitt]

Beginning to learn

Adar x reader

Uruk and mortal learn things from one another in this. Suggestive themes.

Written with specifically season 1 Adar in mind.

You wandered the tunnels in search of Adar. There were matters to be discussed but it was like he avoided you.

He had been everywhere others told you to find him but by the time you got there all you were told was "Apologies, lady. Lord Father just left."

It took you almost hours to finally get to him and catch him off gaurd.

"Why do you avoid me?" There was a tone of annoyance to your voice and Adar visibly curled into himself at the directness of your words.

You and Adar were new to relationships, especially of mixed kinds. In the short weeks of knowing and being with each other Adar learned about mortal's routine bleeding. It had sent panic through his entire being as he found you in your chambers reeking of blood and in visible discomfort.

"I am confused as to why you believe I avoid you. The tunnels are close to completion and I am overwhelmed with overseeing it all." You could see he lied. His eyes had a tell. Yes, Adar was busy but it was not work that overwhelmed him.

It was your scent.

"Come take a break, then. If you are so overwhelmed. Calm your mind and eat with me, then you may go again." Even if he lied, it was still clear he was not entirely okay.

Taking a step towards him you caught his arms and pressed yourself against him to leave a kiss on his jaw.

"..Adar?" He was in trouble now, he felt the looming dark void in his mind grow. The voice that spat nothing but filth and hurt. You would be disgusted, how would you not be.

There was no denying you felt what you did with your body flush against his. With a quick glance down you took a step back to look him in the eyes.

"Are you ..aroused by me being near you? Is that why you ran?" You were confused. You and Adar had talked about communication and boundaries before, making sure both of you would voice your concerns.

"It is not that." The air of disgust was now visible to you as well, but it was unclear what is was directed towards. "I need to get used to smelling you in the air. Your current state is affecting me in ways I am sure you are uncomfortable with."

"My current.." You had no clue what he meant, but the idea of him believing you'd be uncomfortable with him being attracted to you was hurting your feelings more than him avoiding you.

"That's not a reason to avoid me. You are allowed to ask such things of me, I'm not afraid to lay with you if that is what you think." With a huff you crossed your arms and waited for a response, but he stayed quiet.

"Adar." You siged and looked at him. "I need you to speak. In clear terms, what is wrong here?"

"I can smell that you are.." You could see Adar search for his words. "Fertile.. Uruk noses are sensitive and I prefer to keep my distance as to not cause you any unease."

At his explaination heat rose to your cheeks. "You can smell that? What else do I need to know that you can just sniff out?"

While you were on one hand embarassed that your body was letting everyone know of something you had no control over, you were also curious to learn more about the uruks.

"There is also arousal, which I catch a slight hint of right now. Does this sort of talk interest you in such ways?" Adar's question made you want to let out a huff of laughter with how he did not seem to understand, but it also saddened you with how undesirable he saw himself.

A smile crept upon your face, now it had become your turn to be shy about things.

"What can I say. I suppose thinking about such things, about doing them with you is affecting me." You gave him an apologetic look, still unsure how he was faring in the moment.

Closeby the sound of a group of uruks drew closer and before you you watched him shake off his current state and hold himself with that leader stature that came naturally to him. "We'll speak more after today's business if attended to. In my chambers. Come find me then." You bid each other farewell and moved on.

Later that day, within the privacy of Adar's chambers you found yourself sat atop his hips. Your garment bunched up at at yours after you had helped him out of his armor and left him in just his tunic and trousers.

Adar's face still held no sign of true enjoyment.

"I am not offending you with any of my actions, am I?" You stopped your already slow ministrations, not wanting to cross a line.

"No, not offensive. I don't want you doing anything that makes you uncomfortable. Don't feel you must do this because of how my body responded before." One of his hands had come to rest against you, yet still over your garment instead of the skin of your thigh.

"You are not forcing my hand, nor my mind. I do this because I want to. There are no chains that bind me to these tunnels. No shackles that force me into this bed." With the utmost care you took his hand off your clothed waist and placed it on your bare thigh. "I want you. For my own pleasure, and yours."

There was loads of convincing needed to have him put his hands on you more intimately, let alone have his cock inside of you. Sighs of "oh, Adar please.." and "your hands feel so good." Turned into your combined moans as Adar finally gave in to the pleasure he felt. He gave up his control for you to take the lead and with the events from earlier gone from your minds you allowes him to spill inside of you, only realizing once the deed had already been done.

"You know the children you bear won't be fair like you.." The way he spoke sounded like he felt as if he cursed you, but you weren't letting him. Everything he gave you was a blessing, and never a curse.

"Fairness is in the eye of the beholder, my love. And I am sure they will be perfect."

You knew Adar wanted to speak against your words but he stayed quiet, knowing he could not win in this. You loved him and his children with all their flaws ans imperfections.

Perhaps, he thougt, he should start to learn from you in seeing himself through your eyes.

[storiesaplenty]

Jelly Bracelets (10) ~ (18+)

Eddie Munson x f/Reader

Jelly Bracelets Masterlist

This has not been proofread. Please enjoy, though.

Warnings: swearing. Oral (m receiving) cum swallowing. Face fucking. Semi-public blowjob.

Gifs & photos do not belong to me: 1st gif @spookynebula

WC: 1017

©️ storiesaplenty 2024: Do not repost or translate my work. This is the only place I post my work.

Blue (18+) - indicates oral sex performed on a guy

Eddie Munson may be the freak of Hawkins, but he is your best friend. Who is always willing to teach you new things, even when you get new bracelets from your cousin. Eddie will even go as far as teaching & showing you what each one means.

Eddie Munson's Pov:

It has been a week since she jerked me off.

I can't get the image of her face covered with my cum.

"Not bad Eddie." Echoed through my mind randomly and then I get flashes of her cleaning her face with her fingers and then tasting me.

She is acting like that didn't happen.

She is talking about the movie we are seeing at the drive-in tonight.

We are going to a later show so there will be less people around.

"I'll make some popcorn and bring it with us. How does that sound Eddie?"

"Yeah, whatever you want to do is fine." I told her, only half listening.

"I'll grab some of your favourite chocolate as well. Maybe that will put you in a better mood." She said to me.

"I am in a perfectly fine mood." I grumbled.

"I don't know what has your panties in a twist, but please fix it by the time I get back. Remember we are taking your van."

I just flipped her off as she left my trailer, making her laugh loudly at me.

"You know, I thought you would have been more excited for this Sid and Nancy movie." She said to me.

"I am." I tried to say.

"Well, we can always go back to your place if you don't wanna watch it."

"I said I am excited. We are going to watch it." I snapped it.

We got to the Drive-In and picked a spot off to the side, but still have a good view of the screen.

It was a Thursday night, so this place wasn't packed, which I liked right now.

"You know maybe I will just go and sit in one of the seats." I turned my head to face her.

"Why the hell would you do that?"

"You clearly don't what to be near me. You have hardly said a word to me this week." I wanted to laugh at how ridiculous she sounded.

"Of course I want to be near you. You are my best fucking friend." My tone didn't sound nice at all, which I regret.

"Well, what is going on with you Eddie?"

"I am fine." I tried to tell her once more.

"You are lying to me." She opened her door, and got out of my van.

I groaned loudly and hit my steering wheel, opening my door, calling her name.

"Will you just get back in the van. It is cold out here." I tried to tell her, but she didn't stop.

"You are being such a brat." That had her stop and look back at me.

Before I could even blink, she was standing in front of me.

"Me acting like a brat? You have hardly said two words to me all week. Did I do something wrong the other day?" She emphasized the last two words.

"Fuck, no. Look it has something to do with that day, but you did nothing wrong. I will explain if you get back in my van."

"Fine Eddie." She sighed.

◆

I told her everything.

How I couldn't stop thinking about her.

Can't stop thinking about her face covered in my cum.

How she sucked her fingers clean of me.

Even talking about it had me getting hard, and she seemed to be leaning over, getting closer and closer to me.

"I can't stop thinking about that either Eddie." Her hand was on my thigh, rubbing my it, as she worked higher and higher, almost touching where I wanted her hand the most.

I grabbed her wrist, snapping the blue one.

I was going to tell her what it means, but she just smiled. "I know what I means Eddie." As I raised my hips as her and I pulled down my jeans and boxers.

Her hand wrapped around the base of my cock and then I felt her lips wrap around the head, my eyes closing as I let out a moan.

She sucked on the tip, her tongue moving around the slit.

"Oh fuck." I moaned as I looked around, to make sure no one was watching before looking down at the top of her head.

She slowly started to take inch by inch of my cock down her throat until her nose was pressed against my pubic hair.

She didn't move for a few moments, and then she started to move her head.

Her head was moving up and down, faster and faster.

It was messy and I loved ever single second of it. She hardly pulled her mouth away from me.

My hips were raising here and there, making her moan around my cock.

Then she grabbed my hand and placed it on the back of her head.

"Want me to fuck that pretty mouth?" I groaned.

She nodded her head yes and that was all I needed to raise my hips off my seat and fuck her face.

She was moaning around my cock as I muttered lewd words at her, not evening knowing what the hell I even was saying as I fucked her face, just like how I have been dreaming.

"Shit, gonna cum and you gon a swallow for me aren't you? Yeah, you like the taste of my cum. Oh shit, here it cums."

I slammed my hand against the roof of my van as I let out a low moan of her name as the first rope of my cum hit the back of her throat.

I could feel her swallowing as fast as you she could, not to waist a single drop.

She continued to suck even after I stopped coming, my cock just resting in her mouth.

I had to pull her head away from my now oversensitive cock.

She went to open her mouth to speak, but I smashed my mouth against hers, moaning at the fact that I could taste my cum on her lips.

"Gonna take you home." I said against her lips.

"Please Eddie." Was all she needed to say before I was pulling out of the drive-in.

♣︎

Clear (9) ~ (18+) ♥︎ Green (11) ~ (18+)

[llamaisllama777]

I... I think I know what's going on.

Theory: Nexus ain't dead. We're all still playing Dark Sun's game!

(Nexus fans, you're gonna love this. I know I am)

Okay, so, in today's episode, we see Moon travels to another dimension cause of a dimensional anomaly and sees a Sun bashing his Moon's skull in. Moon is obviously startled and horrified by this, and after a little investigation, Moon finds out something is wrong in the multiverse, apparently in 36% of the multiverse a bunch of Suns have started to kill their Moons.

Why? How? What caused this? What triggered it? Suns just don't start randomly murdering Moons...

I think we may have an answer...

Nexus isn't really gone. Dark Sun is still pulling the strings.

Okay, so, remember this episode?

In this episode, Dark Sun asks Nexus' permission and full trust to do something. Now we never found out what this something was until now, I think.

Dark Sun also mentioned in this episode or a different one he says that Nexus wouldn't have the same body forever. I thought he meant like he'd make Nexus a new body to contain his negative star power, but no. He just meant Nexus wouldn't have the same body... he never said he'd make him a new one.

In this episode...

Dark Sun briefly mentions to Sun that whoever he chooses to kill, he will exsponge the data of them so they couldn't come back... this means Dark Sun has access to Moon and Nexus' code... he has their code. Hmmmm....

Plus, Dark Sun did have access to Ruin a.k.a, a guy who had been exposed and probably knows how to make the Ruin virus...

Nexus isn't gone. He's just not in our world anymore. He's in EVERY WORLD NOW!

When Sun killed Nexus, that's what Dark Sun wanted. He didn't want Moon to die. That wouldn't benefit him. He needed Nexus to die to complete his plan. Dark Sun has access to Nexus' code and Ruin, a guy who knows an awful lot about the Ruin virus he probably knows how to make it, too.

Dark Sun wanted Sun to kill Nexus, so Nexus would die and become pure code, Dark Sun could then spread Nexus around the multiverse like a virus and cause other Moon's to go rouge and become Nexuses which would cause other Suns to kill their Moons and become like Dark Sun in a sense.

Dark Sun did say he did all this for Sun and probably every other Sun.

Dark Sun is trying to prove to all Suns that all Moons are bad and that they're better off without them. But of course, in the grand scheme of the multiverse, not EVERY Moon can be bad, so Dark Sun and Nexus MADE them bad.

Dark Sun is trying to create more hims cause he does view himself as the Superior Sun, the Sun that grew up, the Sun that grew a spine, the Sun that fought back!

Dark Sun views himself as a sort of savior of Suns, and in his twisted mind, he's trying to save the other Suns from being used and abused by their Moons. He's trying to prove his point that all Moons are bad, but since not every Moon is bad, he had to make them bad to prove his point. (Which kind of defeats his point, but I digress)

Dark Sun is trying to do this to save the other Suns! By ruining the other Moons!

Tl;Dr Nexus isn't dead and is now pure code, and Dark Sun is having him go around the multiverse, turning all Moon's into Nexuses to prove his point that all Moons are bad and make more Suns like himself.

But hey, that's just a theory...

A TSAMS THEORY!

[gamercookies]

Need help on what..? 

Genre: Smut, enemies to lovers 

Word Count: 3.1k 

Warnings: “fuckboy”!hyunie, virgin!y/n, a bit of fighting (word/physical), unprotected sex, dirty talk, spanking,fingering, grinding, use of “daddy”.  Note: this is the most I spent writing lol, I will rarely write fanfics it’s been 3 months Might have a few misspellings. But I feel this is the best I’ve made in my opinion :3 Enjoy!! 

Your enemy Hyunjin, whom you heard he’s a fuckboy, have been enemies for as long as you could remember. One day, you decided to swallowed your pride and approached him for help with a homework assignment, What could possibly go wrong if he comes over? 

“H-hey.. Hyunjin?” You say with a shy smile.

“Ugh.. it’s you.. what do you want?!” He says in an irritated tone, but not loud to scare you.

“I was wondering.. if you can help me with a homework assignment. I’m a bit confused on the math, and I assume you must know an idea?” 

Hyunjin scoffs and smirks a bit, “is there a catch? You’re always mad when I tease you and shit, why ask me when you can ask anyone else in this school?” 

“Yeah but most of them don’t even know the basics of it.. but I have to ask you.. since you know it. Ugh.. whatever! but I need help so..please?” 

“Please? …” He stays silent thinking for a moment. “Fine, whatever. Where should we meet up I guess..”

“I was wondering at my place later today, around 6PM?” You ask with a smile. 

"Your place?" Hyunjin raises an eyebrow, clearly skeptical about the arrangement. "Why not here or somewhere public? It seems like you're trying to trap me alone with you."

“Am not! I’m literally asking for homework help nothing else!” You say as you push him gently.

He stumbles back a bit, "But fine, whatever. I'll come to your place at 6 PM. Don't think this means I'm being “mr.nice guy” on you just because I’m helping you with the homework." His tone is playful yet assertive, but yet seducing. 

“See you later then bitch.!” He yells from across the hall as he leaves, yet teasing you once more. 

“H-hey! don’t call me that you asshole!” You yell back as you walk to the exit to start heading home. 

….

At home, you arrive getting welcomed by your cat (you own one) and you pet its fur. “Aww you miss me? don’t worry I’m home. I’ll go and grab some food for you to eat.” You go to the kitchen cabinet and grab the cat food. Dumping some onto the cat bowl you slowly start thinking about hyunjin.. You tell yourself, “why am I thinking about that asshole, he’s a pain in the ass at most..?” 

As you put the cat food away, you bend down to give the bowl, and placing it in front of your cat. You then head to your bedroom, all cozy, organized, your laptop well placed. Of course after a long day, and now that your cat is eating, you go take a shower. After 10 minutes later you walk out of the shower the cold breeze hitting your body. As you dry your hair, you head over to your desk, where your diary is and write a short note about today as always. 

“February 17. Today was good, chatting with my friends as always.. But why did I have to ask hyunjin for homework help..”

As you go on writing about your day, you don’t realize you’re talking about Hyunjin’s body features. After 5 minutes you stop and read it once more, “what? Why am I writing about him.. fuck.. god why do I feel like I want him so badly.” 

You get interrupted by the doorbell, you turn next to your diary and see the time. “6:02PM.” Hyunjin is here.. You didn’t even hear or realize the doorbell has been ringing 4 times. You quickly shut the diary running to the door, completely forgetting to hide it. 

“Hey! I’m here, hopefully you ain’t doing makeup for no reason!” He yells as he continuously rings it. 

You open the door, panting a bit from running, forgetting that you invited him for homework help not for another reason. “O-oh sorry I just wrote something real quick and completely forgot the time.” As you scratch the back of the neck nervously a bit. “Will you let me in? Or imma just be outside?”

“R-right sorry.. do you need any snacks or anything?” Hyunjin hears you explain if he’s hungry as he walks in, “No thanks, I didn’t come to kidnap some food, it was just homework help you said.” 

“Yea.. right. Let’s head to my bedroom of course, it’s mainly where I do my homework.” As you close the front door, you led him the way to your bedroom.

“Tsk.. took you long enough to answer I assumed you weren’t home or anything. The fuck you were doing?” He says in an irritating tone, looking at around the room. “Goodness, it's surprisingly clean in here, I thought you never bothered tidying up.” You scoff and roll your eyes a bit, “Are you seriously mad at me for it being tidy?”

"Mad? Please." Hyunjin scoffs dismissively. "Don't flatter yourself, y/n. I couldn't care less how long you take."

He saunters further into the room, glancing around with a critical eye. "Just hurry up and show me this homework already. Let's get this over with so I can leave."

You shift uncomfortably under his intense stare as you pull a chair for him to sit down next to you, “Well this question over here.. can you show me how to answer it step-by-step?” 

As he kept explaining it, you can’t help but secretly stare at him.. these feelings you feel, they aren’t hate, but more of love. But after an hour of homework help, you finish at last. Hyunjin on the other hand leans back and scoffs. 

“An hour on all that? Really? That's all the time you needed for one simple math problem? 

“Sorry it took long..it’s just that-” you say quietly. 

He interrupts you, “Pathetic, I could do it in 5 minutes.” 

“Hey, I said I was sorry!" You snap back defensively with irritation. As y/n stands up from her seat, crossing her arms over her chest, looking at him directly. "And maybe if you actually explained things properly instead of just showing off, it wouldn't take so long!" 

Hyunjin's expression darkens at your outburst, his jaw clenched tight. For a moment, it seems like he might lunge at you, but then his features relax into a mocking grin.

"Oh, so now you're an expert on teaching methods, huh?" he drawls sarcastically. "Maybe I should start taking notes from Miss 'I-can't-even-do-math-right' over here."

He pushes his chair back and rises to his feet, towering over you. "Shut up, Hyunjin!" You shout, getting angry at his words. 

Hyunjin snorts derisively at your outburst, he suddenly pushes you back giving you no time to react, “H-hey what are you doing?!” You quickly say as you stumble back and your diary in which you forgot to hide it falls from the desk. “Oh, look who's getting feisty. Maybe I should teach you a lesson in manners too, since you seem to have forgotten yours." His hand shoots out, grabbing your chin roughly and forcing you to meet his piercing gaze. "You think you can just dismiss me after I helped you? Think again, y/n." 

But then, he looks at the diary bending down to pick it up from the floor, with a smirk. “Oh what’s this? Hmm.. Let's see what juicy details you've been hiding in here, shall we?”, as he is flipping through its pages with a smug grin. 

You stand up trying to retrieve the diary back with fear that he will reveal your new desire for him. “H-Hey give that back! It isn’t for you to read! Come on..! It’s my secret!” 

Hyunjin chuckles darkly, holding the diary out of your reach. "Secrets are meant to be shared, aren't they, y/n? And I think I deserve to know what's really going on in that pretty little head of yours." He opens the diary to a random page, raises an eyebrow as he looks over the words, and starts to read out loud from the page. "..'he looks hot, I just wish Hyunjin would touch me...' Oh, how scandalous!"

He chuckles darkly, a cruel smirk twisting his lips. "Looks like someone has a crush on their bully. How pathetic." 

You blush bright red, looking away in embarrassment "S-Shut up! It's not like that! I-I just wrote some random thoughts, okay?! You're making it sound worse than it is!" As you try to grab the diary back again. Hyunjin easily sidesteps your attempt to grab the diary, holding it high above his head,and laughs mockingly. "Random thoughts? I don't think so, y/n. This sounds suspiciously like a confession to me." He continues reading, his voice dripping with mockery. "'.. I wonder what it would be like if he kissed me...'" Hyunjin pauses, glancing at you with a wicked grin. "Face it, you want me. Admit it, you dirty little thing." As he tosses the diary aside, watching it land on the floor again with a soft thud. 

Your cheeks feel like they're on fire as you attempt to reject those claims, completely embarrassed and vulnerable as Hyunjin mocks your innermost feelings, "I...I may find you attractive sometimes, okay?! But that doesn't mean I like you or anything! You're still a jerk!"

Hyunjin moves in a bit closer, getting into your personal space while grinning at you. "A jerk, huh? At least I’m upfront about how I feel about you, unlike those who hide their feelings in diaries." He gently runs a finger along your warm cheekbone, and even though you're mad, his touch makes you shiver. "You can pretend all you want, but deep down, you want me just as much as I want you, y/n."

You suddenly feel like you’re dripping down there. “Fuck.. I-”

Hyunjin notices the change in you and smirks, his eyes flicking down, "What's wrong, y/n? Getting excited by my touch?" He moves in even closer, his breath warm against your ear as he murmurs, "Or perhaps it's the idea of me kissing you, caressing you, that has you so stirred up."

Your face turns even redder as you try to step back, but your legs feel weak, causing you to stumble backwards onto the bed, sitting down awkwardly. "Oof! .. stop it! Don't say things like that! That’s not what-“ Hyunjin watches you stumble back onto the bed with amusement. He straddles your hips, pinning you beneath him as he leans in close, his lips brushing against your ear once more, “Don’t you want those fantasies of yours to come true~” He straddles you a bit, you can feel the bulge in his pants. “N-no.. I- fuck.. Wait, Are you hard?!.. damn it..” You cover your face in embarrassment.

Hyunjin grins wickedly at your reaction, his hardness pressing insistently against you. "Of course I am," he admits, his voice low and husky. "The sight of you, all flustered and blushing, it's incredibly arousing." He begins to grind against you slowly, relishing in your discomfort and arousal. "You can't deny the attraction between us anymore, y/n. We both want each other, whether we admit it or not." 

You moan softly, feeling yourself get wetter as he grinds against you. "Hyunjin, please...stop teasing me..." Your hands move to his waist, gripping tightly as you try to resist the pleasure building inside you. “About earlier.. Maybe I really should teach you a lesson in manners too, maybe a couple of spanks, don’t you think?’”, he repeats the sentence he said before you guys argued. “Wait what?! You wouldn’t dare do that…plus, that’s a childish thing.”

Hyunjin’s hand slides down to grip your thigh possessively, squeezing firmly. "Oh, I would dare, y/n. In fact, I intend to do much more than just spank you."

He leans in closer, his lips grazing your ear as he whispers huskily, "By the time I'm done with you, you'll be begging me for more. And trust me, I plan to take my time exploring every inch of your delectable body until you're nothing but a quivering mess beneath me."  “Hyunjin, stop talking like that...it's making me...ahh-" Your protest is cut off as he abruptly slaps your thigh, the sudden impact making you yelp. "Ow! What was that for?!" Hyunjin smirks at your pained expression, clearly amused by your reaction. "That was for your impudent mouth," he explains, his tone stern yet playful. "You shouldn't speak to me with such disrespect, especially when you're the one who's been fantasizing about me."

He flips you over that you’re now your back is facing him, especially your ass, without hesitation he gives another firm slap. "Now, are you going to apologize properly, or do I need to continue teaching you a lesson?"

“Ah~!”You moan, he spanks you the second time. “Fuck!.. fine you got me.. I’m sorry!”, He spanks you again, “ah~! Hyunjin!” which is making you dripping wet, feeling good from it. “Use ‘daddy’ instead of my name. Got it?” He takes off your shirt and then pulls down your pants and underwear, leaving you in just your bra. Hyunjin chuckles darkly at your submission, pleased by the way you're squirming under his touch. "Good girl, From now on, you address me as Daddy when we're alone together like this."

He trails his fingers along your hole, feeling the heat emanating from your core. "Mmm, seems like my little y/n is quite eager for more attention, aren’t you?” Without waiting for a response, he pushes two fingers inside you, groaning at the tightness that grips them. "All that spanking got you turned on? Fuck.. wet already, You really are a naughty slut for Daddy's cock, aren't you?"

You moan loudly, bucking your hips against his fingers as he thrusts them in and out of you. "Ah! D-Daddy...fuck...yes...please..." Your words are a jumbled mix of pleasure and desperation as you surrender to the sensations coursing through your body. As he curls his fingers inside you, rubbing against that sensitive spot within, your walls clench around him reflexively.

"More...Daddy...I need more..." You whine. His free hand snakes around to palm your breast, tweaking the nipple through the fabric of your bra. "And look how hard these tits get when Daddy plays with you.” Hyunjin then unclasps your bra, letting your breasts hang free. “You love it, don't you? Such a greedy little cunt, begging for more~” Your nipples harden further under his touch, and you arch into him, desperate for more stimulation. "Yes, Daddy...I love it...please...more..." You pant heavily, your hips rocking against his hand as he continues to finger you relentlessly. “Please fuck me.. I- I need your cock in me.. just like my fantasies in my diary..!” You whine again.

“Patience girl.. you don’t wanna upset me and make me not give it to you.. you don’t want that, hmm?” As you turn over and sit up to face him with a pleading look.

“N-no not at all, I’ll be patient daddy! I promise!”

“Hmm.. get on your knees and prove to me that you need this cock in you.” With trembling hands, you quickly comply, dropping to your knees in front of him. Your eyes lock onto his throbbing erection, and you lick your lips in anticipation. "Go ahead, baby," Hyunjin coaxes, stroking himself slowly. "Show Daddy how much you crave his cock."

Emboldened by his encouragement, you lean forward and wrap your lips around the head of his dick, sucking gently. He lets out a low groan, his fingers tangling in your hair as you begin to bob your head, taking him deeper into your mouth with each pass. "Mmm, that's it...good girl," Hyunjin praises, his hips starting to rock subtly, fucking your mouth. "You're doing so well, I think it's time Daddy gave you what you've been begging for..." 

“Yes please daddy! Rail me!” You say in excitement. 

"Get on the bed and present yourself to me, like the good little slut you are." He says as he walks over to your presented body. “Perfect. Now, hold still while I prepare myself," he instructs, reaching for the lube on the nightstand. “I see you had lube.. interesting..” He gets interrupted by your whine, “Please hurry, I need it inside..! Please!” Hyunjin grabs your hips roughly, positioning himself behind you. He presses the tip of his cock against your slick entrance, teasing you with shallow thrusts. "Beg for it, slut." he growls, holding back from fully entering you. "Tell me how badly you need Daddy's cock stretching out this tight little cunt."  

You plead desperately, wiggling your hips back against him in an attempt to impale yourself on his length. "I'm all yours, Daddy! Use me however you want!" Satisfied with your submissive display, Hyunjin grips your hips tighter and plunges deep inside you with one swift, powerful thrust. "Ungh, fuck...so tight," he groans, burying himself to the hilt. He sets a brutal pace, pounding into you with relentless force. The bed creaks beneath you as he fucks you hard and fast, his heavy balls slapping against your hole with each rough stroke. "Take it, you dirty little whore," he snarls, his breath hot against your ear. "This is what you wanted, isn't it? To be used and filled by Daddy's big cock?" 

"Ahh yes! Oh god, yes! Fill me up, Daddy! Use me!" You scream in ecstasy as he pounds into you mercilessly, your body shaking with each brutal thrust. Your inner walls clench tightly around his thick shaft, milking him greedily. "Harder! Faster! Break me with that huge cock!" Hyunjin's thrusts become even more savage, driven by your shameless begging. "You want it harder? Then take it, you insatiable slut!" He roars, slamming into you harshly. The room fills with the lewd sounds of flesh meeting flesh, punctuated by your high-pitched moans and his guttural grunts.

Suddenly, he reaches around to pinch and twist your nipples harshly, sending jolts of pain-tinged pleasure through your body. "Cum for me, now!" he commands, his voice a feral growl. "Show Daddy how much you love being fucked raw!" “Hyunie.. cum with me, please! Fuck! fuck..! Im gonna..” With a few more erratic thrusts, he buries himself to the root and explodes, flooding your insides with his hot seed. "Take it all, you filthy cumslut!" he snarls, pumping load after load deep into your spasming hole. 

Hyunjin collapses beside you, both of you panting heavily as you come down from the intense high of your shared climax. He pulls you close, spooning you from behind and nuzzling into your neck, “Wow.. you were amazing...” 

“Yeah.. uhm.. are you a fuckboy? Is this just one time and then that’s it?” He laughs, “Me? A fuckboy? when did you hear that joke!” You look at him confused, “W-What..? You’re not..? Wow, I guess I must’ve not believe everything I hear.” 

He leans to kiss you passionately, making you moan between it, after a moment he lets go panting a bit. “Was it really for homework or for me to use you?” “Well.. both. I don’t mind having you come over and help me~” 

“Oh trust me, I think I’ll come over many times, you’re now my girlfriend, y/n, and you better continue writing those fantasies.” 

[dbnightingale24]

React

A Stepcest Love Story About Jim

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Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4

Hi! Remember me? I write stories! Sorry for being MIA for so long, I'll explain why in a little post a little later. Anywho, thank you so much for your support, and I hope you all think this chapter was worth the wait!

Word Count: 5,492

Warning(s) SMUT (MINORS DNI), Swearing, Emotional Cheating, Angst, Fluff, Family Drama, Forbidden Love, Crying, Drinking, Infidelity, Sneaking Around, Stepcest, Step-Daughter/Step-Father,A Ruined Christmas Dinner...uh I think that's it?

Summary: You told yourself and Jim that you were putting your foot down and putting a stop to all of it. However, after the family Christmas dinner from Hell, you start to wonder what's the point?

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I do not give permission/consent for my works/stories to get posted elsewhere. I do not condone this type of relationship, this is clearly for entertainment purposes only.

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Chapter 5

“You usually love Christmas,” Ciara sighs as you and her wrap Christmas presents.

“Why did I agree to this? This is so fucking stupid. I haven’t seen him in months, and I should’ve just kept it that away,” you huff, throwing your gift for his daughter to the side. 

“Babe-”

“I have to see them together which, fine okay, my fault, but still. I shouldn’t be this angry and jealous, but I am,” you practically growl. 

You and Jim hadn’t seen each other since he left after the week you told him he needs to get back with your Mother. You both really have done your best to limit your contact, but you’re so weak. You cracked first.

“Everythin’ okay, Angel?” Jim asked frantically once he answered the phone.

“I’m...are ya doin’ something?”

“Are you okay?”

“I just...I miss you,” you confessed softly.

“I miss you too,” he sighed heavily, “but this was your-”

“I know, love. I know. I just wanted to hear your voice.”

He was for a moment before he asked, “how was your first month back?”

“I can’t wait to be done with it,” you laughed softly as you started to pace in your room.

“Angel?”

“Yeah?”

“I really miss you.”

“I really miss you, too.”

He let out a heavy sigh before he followed up with, “I love you. I love you so much.”

You clenched your eyes shut and rubbed the right side of your forehead, before you responded with, “I love you too, baby. With all of my heart.”

You’d honestly done all you could to keep things from going back to how they were, but Jim was persistent. 

“I just want to spend a few days with ya, Angel,” he sighed into the phone, and you could tell that he was pacing.

You two were always pacing when you were on the phone with each other.

“You know you can’t! We have to stop doing this! She’ll find out and all hell will break loose!”

“Then let her find out! I want to be with you! We both want to be together-”

“Jim, she’s my Mother. I can’t just act like this isn’t horribly selfish and wrong!”

“I never said it wasn’t, I just don’t understand we can’t pursue it. I don’t want to hurt anyone, but staying with her to spare her feelings, is just as bad as what we’ve already done!”

You hate that he made a valid point.

“No Jim, this is over. It’s done. We both have to stop.”

He let out a heavy sigh before he told you, “I’ll see you tomorrow,” and hung up before you had a chance to protest.

When you got back to your dorm the following day, he was standing right outside your door with a bouquet of red roses in hand.

“You shouldn’t be here,” you muttered, as both elation and heartbreak washed over you.

“I needed to see you.”

“No, you wanted to see me.”

“Why do you keep doin’ this? We’re in love-”

“I can’t do this to her!”

“Ya already have!”

“Jim, if ya really don’t wanna be with her, then leave her but you can’t be with me.”

“Angel-”

“We talked about this already-”

“And what happened the next night?”“Jim,” you scowled as you unlocked your door and both quickly made your way inside.

“And who started it?” he pressed as he placed the flowers on your desk.

“That’s why I said we both have to stop. I know I sent you the pictures, and I’m the one that called you. I’m sorry, okay? I really am, because I say one thing then do another, because you’re right: I’m in love with ya and I want to be with you. However, I have to stop being selfish. We both do.”

“We’ve already crossed the line, Angel,” he whispered softly as he closed the space between you two. “We’ve crossed it a lot and in every way you can. I don’t want just ya body, I want you, Angel. Every part of you, every fuckin’ day.”

“Jim, we have to stop. This isn’t good for either of us, and it’s not healthy. We can’t be together,” you whispered, looking everywhere except for at him. 

He focused your gaze on him and looked you over, “we can do whatever we want.”

Damn him and those blue eyes.

He had you naked and on your back in no time. You kept saying you would stop, but he just made it so damn hard. Especially when he was in front of you. To make it worse, when everything was all said and done, he was so gentle and sweet with you.

“We can tell her together, if you’re afraid of doing this alone,” he offered before he kissed your bare shoulder.

“Jim, why don’t you see how wrong this is?”

“I told you before that I do, but I also know how much I love you. How much we love each other. It’s scary and it’s gonna hurt her, but we’ll have each other.”

“Jim-”

“I won’t leave your side when it gets tough. You know that.”

“I believe you, Jim. I honestly do, but I just can’t...in secret is one thing,” you sighed as you felt his body stiffen. “It’s not even because we both know it’s wrong and we’re sneaking, but because it’s our own world that we’re safe in. Making it known...making it public, even if you weren’t married to my Mother, it would be a fucking nightmare. Your ex-wife, your children, your friends-”

“I don’t care-”

“But you will. Especially when it comes to your children.”

“It won’t always be like this-”

“Jim, I just don’t want to hurt her. If you truly don’t want to be with her, I told you to just leave-”

“What’s the point if I can’t be with you? Angel, I’ll never stop telling you that you’re the only one for me, because you’ll always be the only one for me. I don’t say this stuff so you’ll keep opening your legs for me. I love everything about you, the good and the bad parts. You don’t hide the darker sides of you from me, you let me in, you accept me, you’re warm and welcoming...I can go on.”

“Jim...” you sobbed softly, and he softly wiped away your tears with the tip of his thumb.

“It’s goin’ to be hard, but we can do this. We’ll make it,” he promised with a silent confidence.

In those moments, it was so hard to think straight. Whenever you were with him, you could see a future with him. One where you would be happy and content. To make matters worse, when you got to your dorm after your classes the next day, he was waiting in your room. Writing away while a Dexy’s Midnight Runners album played softly in the background. You greeted him with a kiss, which he happily returned, and you sat opposite of him on your bed and started working on your essay.

The whole thing felt so normal and domestic. As if you two did it every day. After about an hour or so, he insisted on taking you at out to dinner. He told you about what he and his kids had been up to, how work had been going, and told you how much he liked (or was completely and utterly confused by) the movies you’d told him to watch during the Summer. He then asked you about how school and your classes were going, if you’d settled on a job as well as a place to stay, and what you had been up to in your spare time.

Afterwards, he took you out of for ice cream, and you two took a walk with one arm each wrapped around each other. It felt as if were a dream. You two laughed and talked about nothing and everything, and it felt as if you two had been together for years. At the end of the night, you cuddled up to him on your bed and you watched classic films until you fell asleep.

Yes, when Jim was around, it was so easy to get lost in love and the dream. The dream life you two were sure you two could create. However, when he left, it didn’t take long for euphoric fog to lift.

“I don’t know, he seems distant again,” your Mother sighed on the phone as you poured yourself a glass of wine. “Ever since he got back from seeing his friend...I don’t know, I thought we were alright again. I even offered to go with him and he said no.”

“What does he say when you ask him?”

“Not much,” she sighed heavily again, and you could hear the pain in her voice.

It really did break your heart, and it made you hate yourself in the worst way.

“I’m tryin my best to make him happy, and I had hope that I could fix things, but...I don’t think I can make it work, my darling. He hates me,” she sobbed as you switched from the glass to the bottle. 

After that, you put a stop to everything with Jim for good. You didn’t return his texts, phone calls, you resisted the urge to hear his voice and check in on his well-being, and when you’d see him waiting for you outside of your dorm room, you’d stay in the library until you fell asleep.

You had to stop. The last text he sent you broke your heart.

My Love: I can’t make you stay and I can’t make you love me as much as I love you. I want this, Angel, and I know you do too, but I’m not gonna force ya. I’ll wait for you forever if I have to, but it’s always goin’ to be you for me. Take care of yourself and stay focused. I love you.

You cried for a month. However, you held strong (even at the darkest of times), and have been able to avoid Jim...except for now.

“Why spend the holiday alone when ya can be home with your family?” your Mother questioned merrily, and you heard her moving around the kitchen.

“I just think I should be savin’ the money-”

“I can pay for it! Jim got a raise at work and I’ve been cuttin’ back on a lot! It’ll be a good time, nothin’ like Summer!”

“Mother-”

“Jim will have his kids with him and I want mine here too. I know it was a horrible Summer, and it was my fault, but I want us to try again. All of us.”

You didn’t want to hurt her than you already had, unbeknownst to her.

“I’ll stay with Ciara-”

“Stay here at home! I’ll make your room up nice for you-”

“Mother, that’s too many people in one space-”

“Nonsense! The kids will stay downstairs in your old spare room, since they always seem to since I turned into the game room-”

“You did what?”

“I didn’t think you’d mind, because you’re never here,” she quickly defended as you swallowed down a frustrated groan.

Yes, you’re the villain in this story, but your grandparents had that room made just for you, and it felt a little insulting that she hadn’t asked.

“It’s fine, you’re right, I’m never there-”

“You’re mad-”

“I’m not mad, I’m just...it doesn’t matter, it’s fine. Still, no matter how it’s split up, it’s too many of us in-”

“Y/N, please. I really want this. It’ll be a nice time,” she promised, and you could hear the sincerity in her voice. “You can even have Ciara and her little family over. It’ll be a good time, just say you’ll come and stay.”

Fuck.

All of this is why you’re currently at Ciara’s house and frustratingly wrapping gifts.

“If you’re this upset, just tell her you’re sick-”

“No, because I’m the reason I’m so upset. If I hadn’t opened my legs for him-”

“Stop it, babe. No, it’s not right or ideal, but it’s not like there was another way this could’ve played out. She lied, treated you both like absolute shite, and you both found comfort in each other. Everyone had a part to play in this.”

“I just wanted to stay at school.”

“When do you go back?”

“In a few days, thank God.”

“You can survive these next few days, babe. I’m right here by your side.”

“Except for tonight,” you groan as you finish wrapping Jim’s gift.

“How hellbent is she on you spending the night.”

“I’ve tried to get out of it four times and she’ll hear none of it.”

“She’s really trying to make up for Summer, huh?”

“She’s trying to prove to Jim that she really is the woman he fell in love with.”

“What do you think?”

“I genuinely never know with her,” you scoff. “How fucking sad is that?”

Ciara places a gentle hand on your shoulder and gives it a squeeze, “one way or another, I promise you that it’ll be okay.”

“Alright ladies,” Darragh smiles, bouncing a very happy and Christmas ready Nora in his arms, “I do believe we are ready to go.”

“She looks so cute!” you coo, standing up and holding out your arms, to which she giggles and grabs for you too. “I missed you!” you squeal once Darragh passes her to you.

“Aunnie!” she beams before kissing your cheek.

You really do wish you had Ciara’s life.

“Ready?” he questions as he puts on his own coat.

“I guess we’ll find out,” you mutter as all of you make your way towards the door.

Somehow, you just know something is going to go wrong. You can feel in your bones that this is going to be the worst Christmas you’ve ever had.

And that’s saying a lot.

~~

“So, it’s not enough that he brought his ex-wife, but my Mother had to invite Rose? It’s barely 2 in the afternoon and she’s shit faced!” you scowl to Ciara as you both retreat to your bedroom.

“Yeah, literally the worst idea either of them could’ve had,” she mutters, taking a large sip of her drink.

Since the four of you arrived, its been nothing but absolute chaos. The food is nowhere close to being ready, your Mother isn’t paying any attention to anything because Rose came with her boyfriend of the month, the kids are hyped up on candy and are hungry along with desperate to open presents, you and Jim are avoiding each other like the plague, and you’re pretty sure his ex-wife has figured that there’s something going on between the two of by the way she keeps looking between the two of you.

You truly wish you would’ve stayed at school.

“Well, at least it’s all chaos. Maybe we’ll be able to-”

“There you are,” she’s cut off by Jim’s voice.

Fuck.

“Uh, Darragh is lookin’ for ya. Nora is bein’ fussy for her bottle-”

“Every time with this girl. I’ll be right back...it’s gonna be alright,” she promises with a weak smile before getting up and walking out.

You don’t why you expect Jim to follow.

“Are you okay?” he asks after a moment, closing the door to your bedroom.

‘Don’t do anything stupid’ you mentally scold yourself.

“It’s going about as well as I expected,” you shrug with a small laugh. “I didn’t expect you to invite your ex-”

“That wasn’t my idea,” he quickly interjects. “The kids wanted us all together. I told her she can bring her husband, but she didn’t want to for whatever reason. Trust me, I don’t want her here anymore than you do.”

“Why not?”

“There’s no reason,” he shrugs. “We have our arrangement, we get along well enough, and we speak when necessary. There’s no reason for us to spend holidays together, but ‘m not gonna tell my kids no.”

“That’s fair,” you sigh, looking down at your feet. “I didn’t think you’d still be with her by now,” you confess softly.

He’s quiet for a moment before he admits, “I stay so I can see you. You won’t see me, and I get why, but...I know it’s wrong and selfish, but it’s all that we have. All that I have.”

You stand up as you fight off tears, “we should get back downstairs-”

“Can we please just stay here a moment? I won’t touch you, I won’t try anything, and I won’t even talk to you if you don’t want, but can we please just stay here a minute?” he pleads softly.

“We shouldn’t...God, why am I cryin’?” you sob, wiping your eyes. “We’re doin’ the right thing! By stayin’ away from each other, we’re doin’ the right thing!”

“Angel, please-” “Ya can’t call me that, Jim. We can’t slip back into-’

“We wouldn’t be. We can’t slip back into something we never left. We just pretend we turned our feelings off. Neither of us actually did it.”

Damn him for being able to read you like a book.

“We should go back down. There’s no reason for us to have been gone as long as we have.”

“Can we talk tonight? I swear, we’ll just talk,” he asks quietly, and you can hear the desperation in his voice.

“What’s there left to say?”

“So much. Please, just a little bit. Danielle isn’t staying, the kids will be downstairs, your Mother will be asleep...I’ll go whenever you want me to.”

Your heart speaks before mind even has a chance to come up with an argument, “sure, Jim. Only for a little though.”

The smile that comes to his face makes your heart light up. God, you love him so much. 

“Alright, I’ll uh, I’ll get back down there and we’ll talk tonight,” he smiles before practically running out of the room and leaving you to your thoughts.

You tell yourself that you’re going to be mature about this whole thing, and you won’t react the same way you have in the past. You’ve been resisting your urges for this long, and you can keep doing it. You just have to remember who you’re doing this for and why. After reconfirming that you’ll continue to be strong about the whole thing, you take a deep breath and head back downstairs.

Only to find yourself instantly pissed off.

“I’m just so happy for you!” your Mother drunkenly squeals as she latches on to Jim, and squeezes his arm tight. “You have what Jim and I have, and I love that!” she beams as Danielle scowls from across the table, taking a long sip of wine.

Your instant emotion is anger and you don’t know why. You keep saying you want this, it’s the reason you refuse to be with Jim, and yet all you want to do is break everything in sight. 

“Mum, what’s the ETA on dinner?” you ask as nonchalantly as you can, but you can feel Jim’s eyes on you as you pour yourself a drink, and you can tell that he knows you’re furious.

“Ugh, I keep forgettin’ to season it! I’m just so happy!” she drunkenly giggles.

“Don’t worry, I’ll take care of it,” you mutter, grabbing your whiskey and coke, before rushing off to the kitchen.

“I’ll join ya,” Danielle offers, and it only makes you that much more miserable.

There’s an uncomfortable silence that settles between the two of you as you season the meat, and she cuts up vegetables; the both of you drinking.

“Your Mother is a piece of work,” Danielle finally says as she put the vegetables in a bag before adding seasoning.

“That’s...a nice way of putting it,” you chuckle humorlessly, finally turning on the oven, before resuming your seasoning of the salmon and the chicken. “I’m sorry that your children have to-”

“I know Jim doesn’t allow them to be alone with her when she’s like this,” she quickly dismisses. “We may not be on the best of terms, but hes never been a bad Father.”

“I’m glad you two can stay civil for the two of them. They’re wonderful.”

“They really seem to love you. Every time they come to visit, they ask if you’ll be around.”

“We just spent a lot of time together over the Summer. My Mother being the way she was...it was nice to give them an outlet.”

“I suppose your Mother is the reason you and Jim fell in love,” she mutters as she shakes the bag.

You can’t catch a fucking break.

“I barely know Jim. They were married for a year before I even met him, let alone knew him. After the disastrous Summer I spent here...I stayed away.”

“Then why does he look at you like that? Why won’t you look at him?”

“I won’t look at him because my Mother gets drunk, then gets jealous, and I have to fix everything. I’d rather her be drunk and happy than drunk and reckless while I’m on Holiday,” you murmur as you slide the two pans of salmon into the oven.

She seems to soften a bit at that.

“I’m sorry, I just...I know that look Jim gets, and I get why your Mother would get jealous, honestly. Everyone seems to like you, you’re extremely smart from what I’ve heard your Mother say, the kids love you and they say you’re insanely kind and funny, you’re beautiful, and...as the ex and an older woman, I get it. You’re what we fear. Hell, that’s what happened with he and I. He found a younger model,” she scowls, dumping the cut up vegetables in the greased pan and standing back as they sizzle.

You’ve got to hand it Jim for being able to keep a secret for so long, because the fact that Danielle still doesn’t know that Yvonne was the one he was cheating with has you genuinely amazed. 

“I shouldn’t have just accused you like that, and I’m sorry,” she smiles weakly.

Does universe not think you feel guilty enough? Fucks sake. 

“It’s truly okay, I understand. These events are always...a lot to deal with,” you laugh softly. “It’s brave of you to be here.”

“Well, the fallout from the divorce was bad and it’s the least I can do. I know they miss us all bein’ together. It’s just one day.”

“Why didn’t you bring-”

“He and Jim...they don’t get along. He met him at a family friend’s funeral and they got into a fight. Jim attacked him,” she scoffs, mixing around the vegetables in the skillet. 

Jim had told you about it.

“Ah, I completely understand,” you laugh softly, taking the chicken out of the beer batter and throwing it into the frying pan.

“Anythin’ I can do to help?” Jim asks, making his way inside and rubbing his hands together.

You don’t miss the way Danielle looks him over. She’s still in love with and misses him. God, why does Jim have to make all of you so crazy?

“I think we’re all good in here,” Danielle smiles towards you, and you nod.

“You can start settin’ up for dinner if you want, but it’s gonna take a bit,” you promise as you start cutting up potatoes.

“Any drinks need to be refilled?”

“We’re all fine here, Jim. You can relax,” Danielle promises with a faux smile. 

All of this is killing her.

Jim just nods before giving you a small smile and making his way out.

“I won’t tell her, ya know. That you still love him,” you promise her softly before taking a sip of your drink as you flip over the chicken.

“Hmm? Tell who-”

“Ya don’t have to play coy with me, and I don’t blame ya. My Mother didn’t even contemplate trying to change for the better until she met Jim,” you chuckle humorlessly. “You two had your whole lives to look forward together, and then you didn’t. Love doesn’t just go away because you want it to. Trust me, I know.”

“Yeah, I can see why the kids love ya,” she chuckles with a head nod and you laugh. “How do ya get it to crisp so perfectly?” she asks as you take the chicken out of the frying pan. 

Soon enough, you’re both lost in conversation about some of the tricks and recipes your Grandmother taught you, and it’s almost enough to make you forget the pain and guilt you feel. It’s not enough for you to hate yourself over what you did, but now (in some weird way), you feel guilty about maintaining some sort of friendship/relationship with Danielle. 

By the time dinner is finally ready, you have a buzz and you desperately just want to go back and hide in your dorm room.

“Jim and I are so happy you all could be here for tonight’s special dinner,” your Mother beams, slur apparent as she raises her glass.

You could kick down a door you’re so angry.

“It’s by no means traditional and, it’s been a bit bumpy to get to this road,” she smiles towards you with a nod, “but we got here. We’re together as a real family.”

You squeeze Ciara’s hand under the table and you hear her stifle a laugh, which brings a small smile to your face.

“I’d really like to thank My Little Darling and Danielle for putting together this amazing feast, because I was too caught up with Rose and Jim,” she giggles and you roll your eyes. “Anyway, I’m dragging all of this out much longer than I should be,” she laughs, gaining a few laughs from Rose and her boyfriend, along with a small and awkward smile from Jim. “I love you all and Happy Christmas,” she sheepishly smiles with a nod.

“Happy Christmas!” everyone cheers, raising their own glasses (or cups of juice).

“Aunnie!” Nora cries for you as she reaches out for you while in Darragh’s hold.

“What’s wrong, Little Love,” you coo as Ciara hands her to you, along with her food.

She giggles and smiles once she’s in your arms, giving you a small kiss on the cheek.

“I’ve missed you too,” you giggle kissing her cheek, while scooping some mashed potatoes onto her small spoon. “We’re gonna eat.”

“Yeah!”

She’s by all means, Ciara’s child. 

“You’re so good with her,” Jim comments, a genuine smile on his face he watches the both of you, and your heart flutters a bit.

“I just let her lead the way. It won’t always be this easy,” you laugh, trying to avoid his gaze.

“It’s never this easy,” Ciara scoffs, “just stay in Dublin.”

“Stay in Dublin? Where else would you go?” your Mother chimes in, dropping her fork.

You and Ciara exchange a look, and Ciara is desperately screaming ‘I’m sorry!’ with her eyes. So, much for a happy Christmas.

“Nothin’, I’ve just been lookin for a place to live-”

“You’ve been lookin’ in Dublin, right?”

“I’ve been lookin at what I can afford. You inherited a house, I didn’t. The cost of living right now-”

“You should want to stay close to family!”

“Mum, it’s Christmas. We’ve had a really nice day, and I really want to keep it that way. Nothing is set in stone and we still have time.”

“I just don’t understand why ya want to be far.”

Of course she doesn’t.

“We can talk about it another time, lets just enjoy the rest of the day. We haven’t even gotten to the presents yet,” you try to encourage.

“If you lived far, would you still come for a visit when we’re here?” Alannah questions innocently, but you don’t miss the way your Mother rolls her eyes.

“Of course I will, but I don’t know what my next move is, honestly. I haven’t even decided on a job,” you laugh awkwardly as you feed Nora more potatoes.

“Of course they want you to come back,” your Mother scowls, as she picks up her fork.

“Please, can we not do this on Christmas? It’s been a really nice dinner-”

“Of course you make your Mother upset and don’t wanna deal with it,” Rose chimes in, and you quite literally bite your tongue to keep from cursing her out.

“Kids, guess what’s always been a Christmas tradition,” Darragh interrupts, being quick on his feet as he stands up and grabs his plate, “dinner in the TV room!”

He didn’t have to say anything else. Both kids are up and running before he has a chance to turn and take Nora into his arms, who whines in protest. All of a sudden, it’s just you, Ciara, Jim, Danielle, Rose, and her boyfriend.

“Well, if you have somethin’ to fuckin say, lets fuckin’ hear it then,” you snap at Rose who looks both shocked and taken aback by your words.

“This past Summer, you came home and acted like you owned the damn place!”

“So, her getting drunk off of her ass every night, yelling at both Jim and I over things that were her own doing, you encouraging it, and us having to carry her up the steps, and much more was my fault?” you scoff as you dig your fork into your salmon.

“You always make her feel awful-”

“Y/N wasn’t even going to come home!” Ciara snaps, and you know that all hopes for a peaceful night have gone out the window. “She was going to stay with me, and your best friend begged her to stay here! She begged her to stay here, just to drop a fuckin’ bombshell on her, then got pissy when her true personality got exposed! How is that on Y/N?! Now, you’re going to give her a hard time for not wanting to be anywhere near you at all?! How can you blame her? You two have always treated her like shite! Never takin’ care of her, always makin’ her look after the both of you! Then, your little pretend personalities faded away, and you needed to blame someone for someone else realizing that you two are worthless! No wonder Jim was thinking about leaving Y/M/N!” she snaps and you quickly squeeze her hand. “Fuck,” she scoffs softly.

“You told her?!” your Mother questions, suddenly very interested in the argument at hand.

“I had to tell someone-”

“You little-”

“All I’ve ever wanted to do was make you truly happy! I’ve tried and tried, time and time again, my entire life to please you! To be looked at like I’m not someone you despise! Yet, no matter what I do, it’s never been enough for ya! I can’t figure out for the life of me, what the hell is so wrong with me, that ya can’t just love me for me, but I’ve stopped tryin’! Ya keep forcin’ together all these pieces that don’t fit, then blame me when it all goes wrong! You made me feel horrible for not wantin’ to be here, and then you made me feel horrible for bein’ here! Yes, I told my best friend, because I had no one else to turn to! Least of all you, Mum!” you snap, quickly wiping your eyes with the back of your hand.

“I’ve tried my best to fix all the things-”

“You haven’t tried to do a single fuckin’ thing!” Ciara snaps. “Even now, who saved the day when ya came up short? Y/N. Who made sure we had dinner at decent hour? Y/N. Ya drunk as shit, being a total arse with ya bestie, and she’s bein’ nicer that ya deserve! She’s always nicer than ya deserve!” she practically snarls.

“She’s the reason everythin’ is so hard! The least she can do is make herself useful when she’s around!” your Mother snaps.

You don’t even give Ciara a chance to think of a response on your behalf. Instead, you get up and storm to the entry way, quickly pulling on and buttoning your plaid peacoat while stepping into your boots, and storming out.

You don’t have a particular destination in mind, you just know you need to get away from everyone before you do and/or say something stupid. She couldn’t just let Christmas be decent? Yeah, you’ve done horrible shit behind her back, but (once again) she’s the one who begged you to come and stay with her.��She’s the one who said this would be nothing like Summer. Yet, here you are at a liquor store, feeling just as miserable as you did over the Summer.

“Fed up with ya family too, eh?” the man laughs, handing you back the bottle of whiskey you picked up after he scanned it.

“I’m always fed up with my family,” you scoffs and he lets out a small laugh. “Happy Christmas.”

“Happy Christmas, a ghrá,” he nods with a soft smile.

No, you have no idea where you’re headed. You just know, like always, that you’d rather be anywhere but home.

~~

[ae-cow]

Wash, Rinse, Romance, Repeat!

Warning: Fluff, Strangers to Lovers, She fell literally first and fell harder. This is a work of fiction with nothing to do with the idol's actual life. I do like some feedback. If you ever feel like "Hey this is very offensive." do tell me.

Pairing: Jay of Enhypen x fem!reader

Summary: You’ve always waited for the 40-minute wash cycle to end in the laundry room of your University dormitory, but everything changes when you accidentally stumble into the wrong room and meet Jay, a charming fashion major with a guitar. What starts as a simple mix-up leads to a delightful routine of late-night jam sessions and laughter amidst the warm scent of fresh laundry.

Word Count: 4k Words

A/N: Wanted this to be part of a series called University series but this does not fit the vibe I wanted. Based on an old ff I wrote back in 2021, really love the concept of laundry rooms don’t know why.

Written: 2 November 2024

Masterlist © ae-cow. Do not claim, steal or repost. All rights reserved

🧦

You hurry down the dimly lit hallway of HYBE University, glancing at the clock that reads 4 AM. The campus is eerily quiet, and you’re on laundry duty today. Thursday rolled away too fast as you're tasked with washing your clothes after 2 days of not cleaning them. Spotting a door marked “Laundry,” you push it open.

You head back to your dorm to avoid waiting in the laundry room for 40 minutes, preferring the comfort of your bed. But as the time ticks down, you know it’s time to return.

Now, with only five minutes left, you step back inside. The warm scent of detergent fills the air, mingling with something cosy and inviting. You pause, realising this isn’t your usual laundry room. Panic sets in when you see a guy lounging casually on a counter with his guitar.

He looks up, surprise lighting up his face. “Uh, hey!” you say, feeling your cheeks flush. “I didn’t mean to intrude. Wrong room.”

Before you can retreat, your foot catches on a stray sock. You stumble, knocking over a basket of freshly laundered clothes. The fabric spills onto the floor, and embarrassment washes over you.

“Whoa, careful!” Jay laughs, hopping off the counter.

You bite your lip, feeling flustered. “I thought this was the other laundry room. I didn’t think anyone would be around,” You said, standing up

“Not many people do laundry at 4 AM,” he grins, picking up a shirt. “Wanna help me fold? You’ve already made a mess, after all.”

Hesitating momentarily, you glance at your clothes piled in the corner. “My clothes—”

You’re drawn in by his easy smile. “Uh, sure, why not?”

You perch yourself on the counter, your legs swinging as you begin folding. The atmosphere shifts as Jay starts strumming his guitar, soft melodies filling the room with warmth. A smile spreads across your face, and the tension you carry eases away.

“What’s your name?” he asks, glancing up from his instrument.

“I’m [Your Name].”

“Nice to meet you ____, I’m Jay, So, what’s a girl like you doing in a place like this at this hour?”

You laugh, feeling more comfortable. “Just trying to keep my laundry game strong. What about you?”

He shrugs, a mischievous twinkle in his eye. “Thought I’d make the most of my quiet time. This is my jam session spot.”

You can’t help but grin. “Usually, I come up here around the same time. It’s so quiet that I could’ve heard your tunes, but I never did.”

“This is a new routine for me,” he admits. “The boys would come up here to play games and do work, but I wanted some alone time, so yeah, I started coming here about a week ago.”

You nod, then again usually just come down, put in my detergent and softener, and then head back up. Once the timer’s up, you fold everything back into your dorm. But there might be a change of routine from now on.

Suddenly the sound beeps from the other laundry room, the lady's side. It was so quiet that you could hear the sounds of the beep from here.

“Oh, um that must be mine,” Damn it, why must that 5 minutes that would usually be hours be actually 5 minutes?

With a reluctant smile, you wave goodbye to Jay and grab your clothes from the dryer. As you head toward the elevator, you can’t shake the feeling that you want to linger a bit longer. Before stepping inside, you glance back over your shoulder and see Jay still folding his clothes, his guitar resting against the counter.

With a burst of spontaneity, you walk over to the door and knock gently. He looks up, initially shocked, but his expression softens into a smile when he sees it’s just you.

“Hey!” he exclaims, looking pleasantly surprised. “You’re back already?”

“I just wanted to say… it was nice meeting you. I’m sure I’ll see you around,” you say, trying to keep the tone casual despite the flutter in your chest.

“Definitely. I mean, I’ll be here, every alternate day jamming away in the laundry room,” he chuckles, folding another shirt. “You know, this could be our new late-night hangout spot.”

You nod, feeling a warmth spread through you at the thought. “I like that idea. I’ll hold you to it.”

-

🧺

The next day, you can’t help but notice Jay everywhere on campus. In just one day, you’ve seen him six times. He’s at the cafeteria, laughing loudly with his friends. You spot him through the window of his culinary class, where he’s focused, chopping vegetables with an oddly captivating ease. Later, you see him at the nearby Seven-Eleven, picking out a drink,

And too you realised the boy you had met in the laundry room with a casual tee, sweats had impeccable taste in fashion. His hair was slicked back, shades on, white button tee with the first button off paired with a brown leather jacket and black straight pants. Is it your great attention to detail or are you using it as an excuse for your growing fast crush on Jay? We don't know…

Your roommate raises an eyebrow when you offer to do the laundry. “Why are you suddenly so eager to do the laundry, mine at that?” she asks, amusement dancing in her eyes.

You shrug, trying to play it cool. “Just thought I’d help out more, you know?”

Is it just an excuse for you to stay with Jay longer while you say “Gosh I have more clothes to fold today.”

She smirks but doesn’t push it. “Well, if you’re volunteering, I won’t complain.”

With each passing day, the anticipation builds within you. After your first encounter with Jay on Thursday, you find yourself eagerly waiting for 4 AM to roll around on a Saturday. Your roommate is fast asleep, her clothes mingling with yours in the basket, while you mentally prepare a song you’d like to hear if he ever asks.

When the clock finally strikes four, you practically bounce out of bed, excitement coursing through you. You gather your laundry essentials, a song humming in your mind—one that captures the mix of nerves and thrill you feel when you think of Jay.

You made your way down, the basket of dirty laundry in hand. As you approached the girls’ laundry room, curiosity got the better of you, and you peeked to your left. There was Jay, looking adorably confused as he inspected his jacket. You couldn’t help but grin.

Shaking off your thoughts, you headed to your side of the room, quickly placing your clothes in the washer. You separated the whites as you’d promised your roommate, preparing them for a different cycle.

Once you were done, you turned back to Jay’s side and knocked gently on the doorframe.

“Hey,” you said, trying to keep your tone casual.

“Oh, hey!” he replied, his surprise quickly melting into a smile.

He wore his hair unstyled this time, it was fluffy unlike the one you saw on campus however you liked this style on him, it was cute.

“What’s with that look on your face?” you asked, tilting your head in curiosity.

“My sweater’s colour is coming off,” he said, holding it up with a pout. “I literally just bought it, wore it once, and now it has these weird white-ish patches!”

You couldn’t help but laugh softly, the sight of him pouting was almost too cute to handle. “What did you wash it with?”

“I think I mixed it up with my whites. I didn’t even check,” he groaned, dramatically dropping his head back against the wall. “What am I going to do?!”

“Well, you might need a laundry lesson,” you teased, stepping closer. “It’s always good to separate colours from whites, You’ve gotta treat your clothes right.”

Jay chuckled, shaking his head. “I guess I’m not cut out for this whole laundry thing.”

You leaned against the wall next to him, feeling the warmth of the room and the easy chemistry between you. “Hey, we all start somewhere. Besides, I’m here to help.”

His expression brightened. “Really? You’d help me save my jacket?”

“Absolutely! I might even throw in some extra laundry tips while we’re at it.”

“Deal!” he said, looking more hopeful. “So, what’s the first lesson?”

“Always read the care label,” you said with mock seriousness. “And never underestimate the power of fabric softener.”

You both laughed, the air between you growing lighter and more comfortable. “And anyways, your jacket is still in amazing quality. You’ve gotta make something out of it,” you said, trying to encourage him.

You paused, thinking. “Hmm, what if you bleached it? It could turn all white?”

He shook his head

“No? Uhh, how about tie-dye? I have a friend who taught me once,” You said

“Great idea!” he exclaimed,

“I can ask my friend what colours I can borrow, and we can meet up tomorrow to do it,” you offered, already looking forward to the next encounter.

“Aww, thanks, man! Never expected some stranger I literally met a day ago would do that for me,” he said, his smile brightening.

You felt a slight sting at the word “man,” but brushed it off. At least he felt comfortable enough to call you that. “Well, I guess I’m just a friendly laundry enthusiast,” you replied, trying to sound nonchalant.

“Definitely a friendly one,” he laughed.

“So. What colours are you expecting your sweater to have??”

“Pink? Slightly darker blue than this and so yellow could be nice,” He said as you nodded your head intently

“So, what’s your laundry schedule like? Should I expect to see you at 4 AM every two days now?” He asked

You nodded “I mean yeah If I get to see you sure,” You were taken by surprised with your sudden wave of confidence

A grin spread across his face

“Well, I’ll make sure to have my guitar ready for our next laundry session, then. I might need a backup singer.”

“Backup?? I’m the lead singer, Jay,” you laughed, feeling a playful spark between you.

“Truly? I do hope that your beautiful face has a beautiful voice too,” he replied, a teasing glint in his eyes.

You felt a blush creep up your cheeks at his compliment, “So, erhrm,” You coughed “Do you need help folding?”

At that moment, the laundry room felt less like a chore and more like a cosy hideaway where new friendships—and perhaps something more developing.

-

🎸

Tuesday had come around, it was time to do the laundry again, you stuck to your 4 AM routine. This time, you were excited—your friend had given you the tie-dye supplies in the vibrant colours you wanted and after texting Jay if he was coming to wash his laundry today(he was!) You took your laundry and quickly went up again to grab the supplies

As you approached the laundry room, you knocked on the door, a thrill of anticipation coursing through you.

“Hey!”

“I just did my laundry…” you said, holding up the colourful supplies triumphantly. “But that won’t stop me from coming here. I brought the colours!”

“Woah,” he said, eyes widening as he took in the array of dye. “This is going to be fun.”

“Did you bring your jacket?”

He nodded, pulling it out from his bag. You could see the faint white patches where the colour had bled.

“Let’s do this,” you said, feeling a rush of excitement. “I’ll show you how to tie-dye!”

“Really? You know how?”

“Yeah! My friend taught me.” You spread the jacket on a clean surface. “First, we’ll twist and fold it to create some cool patterns.”

You twisted the fabric with your hands, creating spirals and knots. “See? It’s all about how you fold it.”

With the Jacket prepped, you began applying the dye, squeezing the vibrant colours onto the fabric. “This part is the most fun. Just be random with it!” You added splashes of colour, watching the fabric absorb them.

You passed the colours to him too, it was his sweater, after all, he had to decorate it.

“It’s messy but totally worth it!” He said

“Now we just have to let it set.”

With the jacket soaked in colour, you hopped up onto the counter, your heart light with excitement for what the rest of the day might bring. You see the same Guitar you’d see every time you came here, yet you haven’t heard any of his music.

“Want to fill the time with a song while we wait for your clothes to finish?”

“Definitely,” he said, reaching for his guitar. “What’s your jam?”

“Surprise me!” you replied, grinning as he began to strum a gentle tune, filling the cosy laundry room with music.

Today you learned that he is a Fashion student, an only child, likes to cook, named his guitar Gibson because of his father and has an insanely attractive accent when he speaks in English.

-

💻

Thursday. The following days drag on as you try to ignore the nagging thought of Jay in the laundry room. You had an assignment looming over you, a 10-page essay due in just two days, and it was starting to feel like a mountain you had to climb.

You had begged your roommate to handle the laundry for you. “I have to finish my essay. Laundry is the least of my worries,” you insisted.

“Seriously?? Just two days ago, you were begging to do the laundry. What happened?” she asked, crossing her arms and raising an eyebrow.

“People change,” you muttered, avoiding her gaze.

“No, go do your laundry it fucking stinks in here! It’ll take less than two minutes to toss the clothes in, add detergent, and you can type away during those 40 minutes,” she countered, her tone teasing but firm.

“Urgh, fine!” you finally relented, frustration bubbling beneath the surface.

After a quick trip to the laundry room, you shoved the clothes into the machine, the cycle starting with a satisfying hum. You headed back to your dorm, feeling the weight of the essay pressing down on you. Sitting at your desk, you opened your laptop and tried to focus, but your thoughts drifted back to the cosy moments spent with Jay.

The vibrant colours of the tie-dye jacket you’d made together flashed through your mind, along with his easy smile and laughter. You sighed, trying to push those thoughts away. You had to stay focused.

But every time you tried to write, your mind wandered to what you were missing: those quiet mornings filled with laughter, music, and the sweet scent of laundry detergent.

Friday, you stuck to your plan, diving deep into the essay, and sacrificing your sleep. The deadline loomed closer, and the idea of spending time with Jay felt increasingly like a distant memory.

You think you were being dramatic but why were you missing the smell of the softener that you could smell whenever you two were in the same vicinity? The sweet smell of Foral in contrast to the cool style just makes him even more— focus just a few more hours.

You could only hope that after you turned in your essay, you’d find a way back to the warmth of those mornings in the laundry room.

You had finally finished your essay, sending it in at exactly 11:58 PM—just two minutes before the deadline and the weekend. A wave of relief washed over you, but it quickly turned into a pang of regret as you realized you hadn’t seen Jay in days, you've been sewn to your bed for 3 days. His smile and laughter from the laundry room lingered in your mind, reminding you of what you missed.

Man, you are down bad when you realise days without him were just you thinking about him.

Jay was on the laundromat, his usual guitar and a laptop to watch videos as he waited for his laundry to finish. He knows that you are busy, you both are university students so he understood that assignments were what's stopping you.

But he can't help but shake the feeling of emptiness. The reason why he started coming here at 4 AM was to enjoy the quietness and also the quiet yet loud sounds of the strums on the guitar.

Yet with you around he didn't mind the loudness of it all. The laughter, the singing from both you and him, the harmonising to one direction because it seems like the go-to artist for the two of you.

He knew your schedule you told him that you come here every 2 days, This week was Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday, but you two could unexpectedly see each other on campus anyways, Monday is coming up and your jam session can start again.

As he strummed a few chords absentmindedly, he couldn’t help but feel a sense of longing for those early morning sessions. It was funny how the presence of another person could transform something so mundane into something extraordinary. The quietness he once cherished felt dull and lonely without you to share it with.

With a sigh, he glanced at the clock, hoping for a glimpse of you at any moment. The thought of your infectious smile and the way you lit up when you sang filled him with warmth, reminding him of why he had started coming here in the first place—not just for the peace but for the connection that blossomed in the most unexpected place.

-

🛏️

Saturday. You jolted awake the next morning to bright sunlight streaming through your window. Panic washed over you as you glanced at the clock—it was already 11:00 AM and you hadn’t done your laundry.

After a hasty breakfast, you threw on some clothes, barely managing to brush your hair before rushing out the door. You needed to check the laundry room for Jay. It seemed unlikely he’d be there, but you couldn’t resist the chance.

As you navigated the buzzing campus, excitement and nervousness churned in your stomach. When you reached the laundry room, you paused outside the door, heart racing. You pushed it open and peered inside.

To your delight, there he was—Jay, humming softly as he folded his sheets. He looked up, and a wide grin spread across his face. “Hey! You came back!”

You smiled back, but then it hit you—you had come at 11 AM instead of your usual 4 AM. A few male students in the room shot you curious glances, and you felt a rush of embarrassment.

“Oh god, I forgot it’s not 4 AM,” you muttered, hitting your forehead lightly. You gave an awkward smile and turned to leave.

What if the reason why was here at 11 was because he didn’t want to wake up at 4 AM and that you were stupid enough to think—

“Hey, laundry buddy!” he called out, waking you up from your thoughts

“Hi, I came to see you when I finally finished my essay,” you replied, turning back.

“Good thing 'cause I had to come here twice! Once at 4 and now, my roommate spilt soju on my bedsheet,” He explains

You winced

“Yeah, but hey I thought I lost my favourite laundry buddy!” he teased, his eyes sparkling.

Relief flooded over you. “I’m sorry! I had a paper due, and it consumed my life for the past few days.”

“No worries! I figured you were buried under textbooks. It is exam season,” he said, leaning casually against the counter. “But you’re back now.”

“Yeah, umm, let’s meet again but next time at our usual time?” you suggested.

“Sure!”

-

🎤

Monday. As you settled onto the counter, your legs swinging, Jay picked up his guitar, filling the room with familiar sounds. He strummed a soft melody, and you couldn’t help but sway along, feeling the tension from the past few days melt away.

“What song do you want to hear?” he asked, glancing up at you.

You thought for a moment, then smiled. “I've been listening to a lot of One Direction, Nobody Compares? Do you know the melody?”

He nodded, launching into the song, his fingers dancing over the strings. You felt a flutter in your chest as you listened, captivated by the way he poured his heart into the music.

After a while, you couldn’t resist joining in, your voice blending with his. The room felt alive with laughter and music, the soft lingering eyes that you felt while you sang a verse 👀, the warm scent of detergent still lingering in the air.

As you sang, you realised how much you had missed this connection, this comfort. The laundry room had become more than just a place to wash clothes; it was your secret escape, a space where you could truly be yourself.

When the song ended, Jay looked at you with a playful smirk. “You know, I think we make a pretty good team.”

“Yeah, we do,” you agreed, feeling your cheeks warm. “Who knew laundry could be so much fun?”

He chuckled, then leaned closer. “I was thinking… Maybe we could do this more often? Not just for laundry, but maybe hang out outside of here too?”

Your heart raced at the suggestion. “I’d like that.”

-

🌸

Wednesday. You and Jay had settled into a comfortable rhythm in the laundry room, the familiar sounds of washing machines and the sweet scent of detergent enveloping you. It was another cosy evening, however, you could sense something was bothering Jay but you didn't want to pry, wanting him to share what was bothering him when he felt ready.

“Hey, umm ___?” he called, breaking into your thoughts. His tone was serious, and you turned to meet his gaze You were playing with his guitar, strumming it. “Yeah, Jay?” you stopped

He hesitated for a moment, his fingers fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. “I’ve been thinking… about us.”

Your heart raced at the sudden weight of his words. “Us?” you echoed, feeling a mix of excitement and apprehension.

“Yeah,” he continued, his expression earnest. “I really enjoy our time together, and I’ve never met anyone quite like you. You’re fun and creative, and you make laundry way more enjoyable.”

You felt a warmth spread through you at his words, but the moment was electric with unspoken feelings. “I feel the same way,” you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper.

Jay looked surprised, but there was a spark of hope in his eyes. “Really?”

Taking a deep breath, you decided to take the plunge. “I know we started just doing laundry together, but it’s turned into something so much more for me. I can’t stop thinking about you, and I like being around you.”

His eyes widened, a smile breaking across his face. “You’re not just saying that, right?”

“No, I mean it,” you replied, feeling a surge of confidence. “You’ve become more than just my laundry buddy. I’ve been looking forward to our time together.”

Jay’s expression softened, and he stepped closer, his gaze steady. “I’ve felt it too, ___. I’ve never had this kind of connection with anyone before. It’s refreshing.”

Your heart raced as you searched his eyes for any sign of doubt, but all you saw was warmth and sincerity. “So… where do we go from here?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.

“Maybe we could make this official?” he suggested, his tone hopeful. “I’d love to take you out, outside of the laundry room, and see where this goes.”

You nodded, feeling a rush of happiness. “I’d really like that, Jay. A lot.”

You stood there, the air between you charged with unspoken promise. You both knew this was just the beginning of something beautiful. The laundry room, once merely a place for mundane chores, had transformed into the backdrop for a budding romance, and you couldn’t wait to see where it would lead.

[olderthannetfic]

How do we feel about the "Um just so you know the person you reblogged this from is an [insert undesirables category here]"? When it's some random meme or otherwise uncontroversial post, and not some elaborate political opinion post with a bunch of dogwhistles in it.

Because I just got it from a fandom acquaintance/friend and it felt really fucking unsettling.

Aside from the mutuals that I know from fandom and interact with, most of the other content I interact with on Tumblr is more about what it says than about who said it for me. I don't ever pay attention to who wrote what or which other Tumblr users they had beef with or whatever, I just read the post itself and decide if I like what it says or not. If someone posts something I REALLY dislike, I block them and move on, more in the hopes of seeing less of that sort of thing than with the intention of somehow eliminating that specific person. I never pay attention to who my mutuals are reblogging from and if I note that one of them reblogged something featuring a poster who's famously unhinged, I just assume they don't know and move on because I know my mutuals are reasonable people generally speaking. I like the anonymity of Tumblr and the focus on the content of the posts and not on specific people. It's why I hang out here and not on one of the platforms that are all about influencers and the like.

So today I was going through the blogs of a couple of people I don't follow to find a specific post and in the process I saw a fairly uncontroversial post I liked, reblogged it, and moved on. Then less than an hour later I was met with a wall of text in my DMs accusing that poster of having questionable political opinions and describing the beef they had with another person where they threatened them etc. etc.

TBH I felt incredibly uncomfortable with the level of scrutiny implied in paying attention to who I reblog random shit from, as well as the level of presumption in coming to my DMs and lecture me about it. I know nothing about the blogger they were talking about, have never interacted with him, and will probably never even have the opportunity or the desire to interact with him. He wasn't even the AUTHOR of the post, it was just on his profile. It makes me want to never post anything ever again.

I just... don't see the point of this sort of behaviour in general? "You shouldn't be giving [bad people] a platform" - look, I genuinely don't think that reblogging a pretty landscape from someone who turns out to be a TERF or whatever is platforming those beliefs in any way. I'm sorry, but I just don't see how my behaviour leads to any material harm to anyone. Even if I follow the person, the moment they start talking about TERF-y shit I'm gonna unfollow and/or block. The probability of me throwing all my well-developed political opinions down the drain and getting radicalized through the slippery slope of reblogging "CATS ARE SO CUTE WHEN THEY SWAT AT THINGS" from someone with a dogshit take about Palestine is literally zero. If it's the content of the post that's wrong, just explain why to me, or point out the dogwhistles or whatever. I'm open to being wrong in my opinions. I'm not open to my online friends acting like the fucking Stasi.

Maybe I'm just too old for these newfangled social politics but it just feels like either pointless catty high school drama or an attempt at social control that I can't help but interpret in a hostile manner. Even if it's followed by - as it was in my case - something along the lines of "obviously I'm not accusing YOU of anything!! I'm sorry it came off that way!!" when I pushed back against it. It feels like 1950s conservative housewives making sure you're not even greeting any of the town Undesirables at the grocery store, because you wouldn't want to be Morally Tainted by saying Hello to a divorcee!

It's kind of similar to the whole issue about people still writing HP fic. Am I interested in HP fic? TBH not at all - the author had soured it for me with her behaviour even before it was obvious how much she hated trans people. Do I think the people doing it are somehow harming anyone or putting money in JKR's pocket? I honestly can't see how, and so far none of the people adamantly against it have managed to explain it to me in a satisfying way, so I'm just gonna let it slide off me as another random internet hobby I don't get or care about.

--

My reaction is "Do you understand how Tumblr works? Do you?"

We have enough trouble with people reblogging barely-hidden anti-kink or homophobic shit. Who has time for cootie-based problems?

[brittscafe]

𝐒𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬

Pairing: Shuhei and Shinji x fem! reader (separately)

Summary: Reader is afraid to sleep with Shuhei/ Shinji and they comfort you.

Request: Britt can i ask for the same setting with one of the fics you wrote with Ichigo where reader is afraid to sleep with him because of past experiences with Shinji and Shuhei? P.s.: lots of love, i love your writing a lot

A/n: Hiii, of course! Aww thank youuu! I hope you enjoy this piece <3 Mwuah <3

Content: Angst, past sexual trauma, fluffy angst.

Shinji: You're sitting on Shinji's lap, hips rocking back and forth, grinding on him. He's got his large hand around your throat, having a firm grip on you.

His lips are pressed against your neck, lips sucking on your senistive skin as you moan softly. His other hand is on your waist as your arms are wrapped around his neck.

You close your eyes for a moment and you get lost in the past. You gasp a little, trying to get out of your own nightmare. Remembering all the yelling and belittling.

"Y/n?" Shinji calls out and you open your eyes. You blink harshly, coming back to reality and you climb off of Shinji. You grab onto a pillow and squeeze it tightly.

"Sorry," you mumble out.

"Hey, y/n...I lost you there for a second. Is something wrong?" he asks with a soft voice that pulls you in.

"Um..." your voice trails off, tearing your eyes away from Shinji. He cups your cheek and turns your face towards him. He brushes your skin with his thumb, tilting his head as his eyes glisten.

"Come on...tell me," Shinji urges you, pressing his fingers to your side to tickle you. Your body jolts and you chuckle, pulling away from him and sniffling.

"Ok...well. It's kind of embarrassing, but I'm honestly am really afraid to have sex," you admit and Shinji's jaw drops open.

"With me? Please, you have nothing to worry about. I will make sure you finish everytime," Shinji tries to reassure you and you shake your head.

"While that's nice, Shinji, I don't mean I'm worried about that. I'm worried about how I'm gonna make you feel. I'm worried if you're even gonna like it," you inhale through your gritted teeth.

Shinji chuckles and furrows his eyebrows with confusion. There's no way you think that he won't like it. He's been dreaming about it for weeks.

"Wow, that's insane to say, y/n or even think. I know that you are going to make me feel very good and I don't doubt it. I cannot wait for the day that you do make me feel good, but there is nothing that I want more than for you to be ready. Let's go at your pace," Shinji offers and your eyes light up.

For Shinji to say all of this is so nice and welcoming. He is nothing like your past and you are so grateful for that.

A smile spreads across your face and you throw your arms around Shinji. He chuckles and hugs you back, treasuring you in his arms.

"Thanks, Shinji. That made me feel better. It's really nice of you to go at my pace," you say.

"Just don't let anyone else know how nice I am," he teases you, squeezing you tightly.

He is never going to let you go.

Shuhei: Shuhei is on top of you, lips melting and smacking together almost violently. His hands are wandering all over your body, at first it feels really good and makes you want more.

Then your mind flashes back to your past, being ridiculed about your performance. You can't help the tears that form in your eyes as Shuhei pulls away from you, breathless.

Your eyes are watery as Shuhei gazes at your puffy face. He pulls away from your face and his eyes widen.

"Oh, y/n. What's wrong? Why are you crying?" Shuhei asks, worry flooding into his eyes as he climbs off of you. He sits beside you as tears stream down your face.

"I'm just really scared," you sob out and Shuhei's eyebrows furrow as he inches closer to you. He moves slowly and carefully to not frighten you.

"Scared of what, baby?" he asks, placing a hand on your arm and rubbing it gently. You wipe away your tears and glance into his kind eyes.

Shuhei's face is a bit blurry from the tears scattered in your eyes, but you can still make him out. His face of sympathy and kindness.

"I'm scared to have sex. I know it's dumb or whatever, but it's because of my past. I know that I shouldn't really bring up my past problems because I'm trying to move on, but...it's really hard to," you speak with trembling lips.

Shuhei's lips slightly part open as he studies your face. He can see the pain behind your eyes and how you look so defeated. He hates to see you like this, it just breaks his heart.

Shuhei smiles softly at you, taking him into his arms and snuggling you.

"I don't care about your past, y/n. I'm not like that at all, I promise. You can take all the time you need to. I'm not going to rush anything or force you to do something you don't want to."

Your body fills with relief and Shuhei presses a soft kiss on your forehead.

"Thank you," you whisper out. He wraps an arm around you and pulls you onto his chest.

"Ok, now let's watch a movie," Shuhei comments as you rest your head on his chest.